Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes Book 2

Best of Beyond Imagination Notes – Book 2
BEYOND IMAGINATION
BEST OF NOTES
BOOK TWO
May 1995 – April 1996
Wayne Hartman
1
INTRODUCTION
This is the record of the journey of a consciousness and it’s connection to a spiritual source within. The
writings are stream of consciousness. They have been since the beginning. Other than some minor spell
checking, you are seeing these works as they came forth. In this case, you are seeing the condensed
version. The Best of Notes pages were selected in 1997 and 1998 from much larger files that were
generated in 1993 through 1996. The wording was not changed nor was the relative order of the wording.
For some reason, I felt that spirit determined this, not me. This has been true for all of the expression at
Beyond Imagination to date. I have not be moved to do any major editing or rearranging of what has
come forth. In part, this was because I had no sense of being the one actually creating the work. Yes, it
came forth through me. And, no, without me it would not exist. But, that is not the same as having an
inner feeling of actually being the creator of something.
This is Book 2 in the Best of Notes series. It covers the final year of Best of Notes. Some of the months
in that final year had quite lengthy expressions … in excess of 100 pages, so even the Best of Notes for
those months were extensive. Some of the material gets heavily into finding symbolic meanings through
numerology and the tarot. Don’t worry, this is meant to serve as a record and a detailed example of where
I have allowed my consciousness to venture. You may not understand all of it … or even major portions
of it. That is OK. Skip those parts that are of limited utility to you. I believe there is enough material in
the overall work as it is captured to be of some utility to everyone. The following is a passage that
addresses this:
“How can I know these things? I'm only 37. I've had very little interaction with others in the world. How
is it that such wisdom as this could flow through me? Then again, there are probably many who would
call it rubbish. Yet, who are they, and what do they know? The stuff I write of is not taught in any school
or in any book of which I am aware. For much of it, I really have no clue as to where it comes from or
whether it is even right. It comes through, period. The sense is that it is not fiction, though many might
question that as well. Consciousness brings forth what she will.”
We are spirit expressing in flesh here and now. We always have been and always will be. It is the mission
of Beyond Imagination to help to build the foundations that allow spirit to express in flesh more fully.
Perhaps that is easier said than done. But, the more people that are aware of the kinds of things that we
address here, the easier it will be. Hopefully, this book has helped you to become more aware.
If we cooperate and work together, we will be amazed at how great the things are that we can achieve.
ENJOY! Be Happy and Create Well!
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!
Wayne
Redondo Beach, June 2003
2
BEST OF NOTES
MAY 1995
Consciousness is amazing at finding its ways to send signals to us.

They are always there.
We only have to take notice and trust consciousness via our intuition to
move us in the direction that we need to go.
3
BEST OF NOTES #19
2 May 95
On the way home, I had to stop at the Versatel machine a few blocks from work. As I pulled in, I noticed
the tripmeter was exactly at 777.7, the odometer was at 32523, and the time was 8:01. A side note, I left
work at exactly 7:56 on my clock. Once again the two drivers of my triangle readings appear together.
Yes, this happens twice per day. But what is the likelihood of my seeing it, and in this case seeing it just as
I was leaving?
777.7 is jackpot of course, indicating that the symbols that are around it are ripe with meaning. 32523 is
symmetric about the 5 in the middle. There are only a hundred of these symmetric number in every ten
thousand numbers, so jackpot landing on a symmetric number is a 1 in 100 shot. As a time this is simply
523. There is no sweep. 23 is wayne and 5 is The Hierophant. Interesting. 523 = 5::83 = The
Hierophant::The Hierophant Exalted. Also note that 5 and 83 are complements. x + (78 + x) = 88 is only
satisfied when x = 5. Interesting that this would be the number that showed up with jackpot. 523 also =
6:55, an interesting number in it's own right. The Lovers:The Ace of Swords. But 6:55 is also a time, in
particular 5 to 7 = 527 = 6:59 = 5::87 = The Hierophant::The Hermit Exalted. 527 also begs to be reversed
to reveal 725, The Chariot:The Knight of Wands. 725 = 8::21 = Strength::The World. Also, 725 = 9:23 =
The Hermit:The King of Wands (wayne).
Also revealed is 5 22 33. All three numbers are highly meaningful to me, each appearing in significant
positions in major readings.
The only thing we've neglected is the time of the occurrence, 8:01. 801 = 9::09. What an interesting result
The Hermit:The Hermit. Also, 801 = 10:21 = The Wheel of Fortune : The World. 8:01 = 7::09 = The
Chariot:The Hermit. Also quite meaningful.
3 May 95
File Size = 6498 at 1:25 AM. 64 = "my will for Thy Will", 98 = Judgment Exalted. 125 = 1:47 = The
Magician, ASLAN. Reversed = 7:41 = The Chariot:The Ace of Cups [Wayne]. 6498 also comes across as
9:08-46, sweep of 38, centered at 9:27. Interesting, this is right between 9:26 and 9:28 which are varying
versions of The Hermit God.
Tripmeter hit 888.8 as odometer hit 32635 = 6:23-35, sweep of 12 centered at 6:29 = 7:07. Also, 6:29
reversed = 9:26. This event occurred at 8:48= Strength:The Man in Search of More = time 48 = my
birthday! [4/8]
Tripmeter hit 900.2 at 9:00 as odometer hit 32646. 6:23-46 has sweep of 23 centered at 6:34-35 = 5:56-
5:57. Reversed, these are 6:55 - 7:55 = 5:27 - 5:28. Very interesting, 528 again! It's simply amazing how
often this number shows up. Absolutely amazing.
The Tarot Card for Today was The Fool. It's been awhile since it last showed itself. I can only conclude
that this is somehow associated with the jackpot [777.7] experience yesterday. The 900 at 9:00 above
brings in the association of The Hermit and The Fool, Who I Am and My Heart's Desire. Interesting. The
4
artwork on The Fool Card has the Fool gently holding a white rose in his left hand. Years ago, Gini was
told by a channel that a white rose was the symbol for her soul or higher Self.
Connections. That seems to be what it's all about. What puzzle pieces are connected to what other pieces
in what manner, and what do the combinations of such pieces mean. For me, this goes so far as to having
this insatiable desire to comprehend, understand, know, or otherwise realize the big picture. I know that
this is much of why I am here. I sense that each day draws me closer to a position in which to more fully
manifest my destiny. I believe this to be true for others as well. However, I sense that I am not like others
at the core of my being. At least, not like the others that coexist in this outer reality. There is a sense of
being apart, The Hermit. It is as if I cannot establish attachments that are permanent in this world. There is
a part of my being that is so tied to spirit that nothing else truly matters in comparison. This may sound
harsh, but I can only express what consciousness allows to come through me.
Continuing on the earlier line of inquiry. One only has to look at my office to see that I am like a fish out
of water in my present environment. I am tucked away in a corner and allowed to express myself without
challenge. The sense is that my eccentricity is tolerated because my job performance is superior to my
peers as well. Even with that, where I find myself compelled to allow my metaphysics to spill out into all
aspects of my life and work, in close to six years I have not seen another office in my company where
another person felt compelled to do likewise. Perhaps part of this is because I spend so much of my life
here, at work. It is like a second home to me. Further, for much of that time, I am alone, literally -- either
the entire rest of the building is empty, or at least the parts with which I come into contact.
17::17, The Star :: The Star. That's where the I Am Race comes from. We have to take things to the source
of our very consciousness. We have to be observant enough to realize what we are here to do versus what
we are here to watch. Much that we experience is much like a 3-D movie. It's a program input into our
consciousness. It's up to us to realize that this is so and learn to awaken and maintain the observer
perspective. Only then can consciousness flow through us in the most effective manner. Yes, there is
something of a dichotomy here. With my present level of awareness, I know that the one consciousness
does it's Will through me. However, this must be true for others as well. On the radio, they're talking
about hard criminals at this very moment and how society should treat these people. Are these beings
moved by the same one consciousness? My overall sense is that yes, our consensus reality is interwoven
in such a fashion that collective spiritual lessons need to be learned. The Play is providing those
experiences required for spiritual lessons to be learned individually and collectively at exactly that rate
which is most effective.
It seems that the consensus viewpoint is that individuals are free and responsible. There is not a
recognition of the unity of consciousness that lies beneath our diversity. This gets back to my role in the
world and how it gets executed. Essentially, it happens automatically. I have no need to know exactly
what or exactly when something needs to be done. What must be done will be done. The difference I
make lies in consciousness, and the understanding that I gain becomes part of that collective
consciousness as a new and unique viewpoint that can then be communicated to others just as
consciousness communicates to me through intuition. There is a direct channel from the true reality to this
apparent reality. Consciousness provides that channel and the information that flows through it.
Receptivity, however, is dependent on awareness.
In the case of the criminals above, the play called for bad guys to illustrate a point. Themes of good versus
bad or good versus evil are common in literature and film -- no wonder they appear in the illusion as well.
Interesting.
If we don't have personal choice and personal responsibility, then why would individuals play particular
roles. That's the problem. Thinking of consciousness as individuals is simply incorrect. There is one
5
consciousness. All separation is part of the illusion. It exists, but it is not real. The intensity and character
in which it is experienced is a choice made by a part or spark of consciousness. It's as if consciousness
created baby consciousnesses with limited awareness and a task of graduating by reaching a designated
levels of awareness. An image just came to mind. These baby consciousnesses are the pieces of the
puzzle. However, the challenge was made even greater by requiring that each piece fill itself in and realize
that it was a unique piece that needed to be combined with others into a greater whole.
Along this line, perhaps we start by individuals achieving awareness and combining to form small puzzles
or sections of the puzzle that pave the way for others. The whole Play was created outside of space and
time. Yet, to be experienced, consciousness had to partition itself in a manner that manifested limitation in
space and time. We are the parts of consciousness enmeshed in this illusion we call physical reality.
Further, it's interesting just how completely enmeshed we are -- that is most of us. Yet, the sense is that all
this is about to change dramatically in the course of a few years. The inputs that I'm getting from the
media, the country, and the world at large do not indicate a preparedness or readiness for such change. It
will be interesting to see if and how this is made manifest. Yes, indeed.
4 May 95
First thing I noticed this morning is that the time on my computer was 7:56, while on my clock radio it
was 8:00. 7 and 56 again, the drivers of my triangle readings. Also, 428 = The Emperor : The Man With
the World in His Hands. 428 = 4::76 = 4:116 = 5:38 = The Hierophant:VISION. 5 + 38 = 41 = The Ace of
Cups [Wayne].
File size from early this morning was 17861 @ 12:21. Centered at 866 = 11:00 base 22. Also 866 = 9:74=
The Hermit : The Benefactor. Added together these equal 83 : The Hierophant Exalted! Interesting
indeed! This is the first time I've tied these eight numbers together in this manner. 08, 66, 11, 00, 09, 74,
and 83 @ 21 = The World.
16:02 is The Tower : The High Priestess. Do we have to wait that long for Love/Wisdom to finally sweep
the world. I guess it doesn't matter much. Our consciousness resides in our own local world, not in the
world at large. The Play is perfect in all ways. What is manifest is necessary for the unfoldment of
consciousness. Time and duration are part of the illusion. Watch what your consciousness does when you
free it from it's bonds within flesh. You are far more than you yet realize. Yes Wayne, even you. You will
unfold in time at the pace that is right for your purpose and role in the Play. Becoming aware sooner,
could be difficult to deal with. Too late, and it becomes more difficult to execute your role. Interesting
how this all works. Yet, what makes me believe it to be so. Must it be this way just because my
consciousness reveals it as such? Not necessarily, but I have developed a strong faith in the source
consciousness from which this material flows. I have a hard time buying the idea that I am making all of
this stuff up on my own. I do think a lot of my creative abilities, but this stretches far beyond my
experiences and education in this existence. Further, I have no ownership sense of creating this material. It
comes through my fingertips and I see it appear on the screen, but it manifests as a realtime conversation
with a part of consciousness that is not part of my direct conscious awareness.
Interesting. Time is now 8:48. How appropriate 48:The Man in Search of More. [8 of Cups].
7 May 95
Looking down, I noticed that I was at Pg 2 Ln 8.38 Pos 6.56. Very interesting. Even more so because this
is a partial file. However, that does not impact the content of the information presented. Consciousness is
6
amazing at finding it's ways to send signals to us. They are always there. We only have to take notice and
trust consciousness via our intuition to move us in the direction that we need to go.
Now, what's so special about 2058? The middle pops out 05:28. There we are once again with presented
with what appears to be the key to the kingdom. At least, it appears to be so for my path. Whether others
can follow such a path, I know not. I know first hand that one's very sanity is at stake on this particular
path. My sense is that many reading this might think that my sanity was lost long ago. And, so far as
believing the consensus reality -- I stopped doing that long ago, first intellectually, then based on direct
experience. What I found was that the belief must precede the experience. However, the key error in my
beliefs that had to go was that my Ego was in charge of my experience. What I found was that not only
was it not in charge, it had no clue as to how most of it occurred at all. Also, in the process, I've started to
learn to distinguish between what is real versus what is illusion. No, don't look for it even in your
University curriculums. To acknowledge that one must distinguish between the two, one must first realize
that the two exist. For the most part, we occupy an illusionary world. Oh, it feels real enough to the
senses; but, so do movies and video games when we really get into them.
9 May 95
The Tarot Card for the day is 15:The Devil. The significance is one of being trapped in illusion in some
manner and needing to free myself of the chains that I have wrought and placed around myself. I am free.
The song on the way to dinner "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free ..." struck
something in my heart. It always has. Yet, within the Play, freedom does not exist in the way most people
think about it. I've always found this particular card troublesome, yet it is only 6 + 9, The Lovers + The
Hermit. The Devil resonates at a six vibration and has a great deal in common with The Lovers Card.
Symbology is very different but the overall positioning of figures and symbols is quite similar. Further, 6
+ 15 = 21:The World.
Interesting. Yet, what will come to pass? And, what if anything can I do to prepare for and participate in
bringing this destiny about? On the one hand, the answer is simple, what will be will be. On the other
hand, there is a sense that we create our own reality to some degree. Completely, if one would believe
Seth. The trick is in how we define "WE". Interesting that these would be my first two initials. Very
interesting. There is a sense that I live in a world that is defined by the manner in which I view and
interact with it. Further, it is not only me confined to such but each and every one of us. We see a few
similarities and think ourselves and our worlds to be the same. But, this is not the case. "My Father's
house has many mansions." So too this world is not one but many, able to how the diversity of spirits
incarnating to gain experience and self-knowledge. Yet, the purpose seems to have been lost by most. The
task of making a living in this illusion becomes their central focus, and they forget that it is not about that
at all. Interesting. The call to awaken strikes each at the appointed moment. Whether the being will indeed
wake up however is far less certain. Not everything is predestined, just most things. In this sole area free
will still has its expression. Another quote comes to mind "there are none so enslaved as those who are
slaves yet believe themselves to be free." I'm sure I garbled it, and have no idea where it came from, but
the essence is correct. To be enslaved and not to know it, is the worst form of slavery. Yet, the economic
system in this country -- yes, the greatest country in the world has us enslaved, sure as the Sun rises in the
East each morning.
10 May 95
[... extensive Machinations with Perfect Numbers]
7
Just noticed the symmetry 47:47 :03:59: 74:74 occurs 58 years after the above. If that was the time I was
born, this symmetric point will occur in 2016 [Judgment:The Tower]. That feels like some type of a
completion or major transition for me, personally.
Backing up, 3:59 is 1 to 4:00. To get the trigger point, requires 4x78-16 years = 296 years. As a first cut at
from when, let's use the year the number was discovered. The record says that Euler discovered it in 1750.
Adding 296 yields 2046. Should I live that long, it would be my 88th year. Big shivers throughout my
body. 88 is completion. How appropriate that it would show up here. Euler = 5/8/11/16/25, an extremely
interesting set of numbers. EULER = 2/26/38/43/52, also quite interesting in its own right. Here again, I
sense that the universe is revealing her truths through my consciousness. Yes, I've been given the keys to
the kingdom, and what a splendid and wonderful kingdom it is. Yet, my path is a lonely one. I am truly
The Hermit -- unaware of whether there are any others on or near my path. Yet, I persist, for I know that
consciousness has something grand planned and that I have a major role to play in the overall evolution of
consciousness toward the ONE.
1958 = 22::22 = 25:08. Very interesting. 22 is my heart's desire. There it is twice in my birth year alone!
25 and 08 are also prominent for me. These are the components of 825, reversed = 528. We've seen this
time and time again.
The years in which the Perfect Numbers were found and the number of years between finding them are
quite interesting.
Only two, P(12) and P(29) were found "out of sequence". P(12) was found in 1876, 7 years before P(9),
35 years before P(10), and 37 years before P(11).
P(29) was found in 1988, 5 years after P(30) and 3 years after P(31). Interesting that 29 would be
associated with 88. 1988 = 22::52 = 25:38. WOW!
In 1876, America's Centennial, P(12) was discovered. It took another 76 years before P(13) was
discovered in 1952. P(14) through P(17) were discovered that same year. Interesting, this was 48 years
prior to the turn of the century.
P(18) [The Moon] was discovered in 1957, the year before I was born.
My high school years and my introduction to metaphysics occurred between the discovery of P(24) in
1971 and P(25) in 1978.
P(32) was discovered in 1992, the year before my spiritual transformation and P(33) in 1994, the year
after. To date, there are only 33 known Perfect Numbers.
11 May 95
vision = 4/13/14/23/29/34
Vision = 22/31/32/41/47/52
VISION = 22/31/50/59/74/88
WOW! Look at these partial sums with total = completion!
8
14 May 95
Just noticed something interesting 2184, the final four of my SSN = 24::72 = 28:00, exactly. No wonder
the 28 Tarot Card is so meaningful to me.
16 May 95
57568 - 57936 has a span of 368 with a center of 57752 = 9:38:32 The Hermit :VISION :America(I
AM Race). Interesting. Now, that was quite unexpected coming from making a specific kind of
connection between numbers symbolizing very different things that happened to come together in space
and time in a manner that would allow me to take notice.
18 May 95
Odometer crossed 33333 on Tuesday Evening @ 9:42. I need to recalculate where the tripmeter was at the
time. For some reason, I just don't remember. A lot has happened in the past two days. Work, in particular,
has been extremely hectic.
The top of the chart is at 05:26 Scorpio = The Hierophant : God. This also equals 326 = 557, reversed =
755 = 528. Amazing. Simply amazing. Also equals 4:14 = 3::62.
This is starting to freak me out a bit. The synchronicities are so clear that they are almost blinding, yet
there is no doubt that there are those who would refuse to see. It's interesting. I'm working with numbers
in ways that are completely outside of both conventional mathematics and the little bit of numerology that
I have encountered in my studies. I have no idea whether any others are observing things in this way. I'm
definitely using information from astrology in a different manner than astrologers. Yet, this all seems
natural to me. It's as if I'm recalling skills that I already know. Interesting. I wonder if all skills are this
way, or merely those that involve the intuition and subconscious. 528 is really amazing, It comes up so
frequently for me that I have come to regard it as a sign of confirmation that I am on the right path. The
most obvious meaning is The Hierophant : The Man with the World in His Hand [God]. My inner sense is
that in some way this is exactly what I am by destiny meant to be. To a large degree, it is what all my
metaphysical training has been for. Further, my natal chart, aura, and numerology clearly confirm this as
well.
Looking at Pluto again in the 1995 Solar return, the number of minutes is 333. Just 2 days ago my
odometer crossed 33333 which I would interpret as 3:33-33 = 333.
21 May 95
License Plate Number = 4V36124.
Interpretation 1: 4436124 = 9:27:11:30 = 6::44::74::44. Now that's an interesting combination!
Interpretation 2: 42236124 = 1:11:00:12:60 = 61::86:03::84. Hmm, it seems the first is to be read outside
in and the later inside out. Justice Exalted, The Fool, The Lovers:The World. WAYNE: The Tower, The
9
Empress::WEHJ(my whole name). If we reverse the whole thing, we get 48::30 as the first two, The Man
in Search of More : Camelot.
Both interpretations are highly meaningful. The sense is that the both apply on slightly different levels.
The overall impression or feeling that I get is one of renewed confirmation of my destiny. It's interesting
how such information can be hidden within the symbols that make up everyday life, but only if we have
the eyes to see and ears to hear. My sense is that the true kingdom is that which is within us, and the outer
is only a mirage in which we exist for a short while. This idea of the world making no sense keeps coming
back to me. I look out and see this incredible amount of wasted energy. There is no reason preventing
people from having what they need other than an inefficient infrastructure and a lack of a perspective on
the part of each individual that looks out for the whole -- primarily, because by doing so, that individual
has the greatest opportunity of getting what the individual needs. If we're going to fulfill needs on a grand
scale, we have to find ways to operate WIN/WIN wherever possible. Anytime we settle for WIN/LOSE or
LOSE/LOSE scenarios we waste resources and society as a whole loses. This is so obvious, yet looking
out, the world definitely doesn't yet operate in this way. Individuals are on their own, or so it appears, to
create their own destiny. "Equal opportunity for all" is voiced, but does not turn out to be so overall. Then
again, if this is a play, this is all being done to awaken consciousness to see that the true reality is not what
lies at the surface but what lies inside, and there indeed all are equal for they are all parts of the ONE. Yet,
even thus, individuality is not lost, along with special skills and talents. These must be learned and earned
through experience.
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. It is not the other way around, no matter how much
it may seem so. For most of us, our immediate sense is that we are physical. We have bodies, and brains
that are equally physical. It is not so obvious at all that our true state is spiritual. Even more difficult to
accept is that our current expression in flesh is that of our spirit being expressed in flesh. From that
standpoint, to be physical is to be spiritual. There is an equality between the two.
There is no thing that is not of spirit, no matter how horrid or evil it may appear. Serial killers and child
molesters are a bit tough to explain, but their roles must be as necessary as any others to the whole. How
we allow such expressions without putting out the resources necessary to address their problems is
abominable in many ways. Any behavior we permit or allow will continue until we put an end to it. It is
the whole expressing through all of us. Our joint reality is there to teach us as well. What it teaches is
open to the students, namely each and every one of us. One thing it is trying to teach is personal
responsibility for the reality that you create. If you're seeing it come into your life in any manner, even
through the media, then you're part of making it so. Individuals create their own reality. Where more than
one individual is involved, the group creates a reality agreeable to all parties. One tends to look at small
children as innocent victims in all of this. However, as spirits we are all older than the hills and wiser than
the most ancient of trees. We know what we are getting ourselves into, even if this is not at all obvious on
the physical front. What evidence is there for this you might ask. My only reply is probably none. The
question is one of belief in the nature of how reality is created. Either we are spirit enfleshed or we are
not. Believe what you will, there are enough mysteries in life for me to cast my vote for spirit.
For over 400 years, religion and science have been very much at odds with one another. Actually, this
battle goes back even further, though science had an even weaker voice against the church. Then again,
perhaps we need to watch our language a bit. First, religion and the church are not one and the same.
Second, it is not clear that most "scientific" work done before 400 years ago was truly science. My sense
is that we are reaching a time where spiritual science needs to rule in the affairs of humankind with
physical science and technology subservient to moral and spiritual needs.
The key player in all of this is the consciousness of the ONE as it is expressed through each of us. This
expression has been going on for eons, decade after decade, generation after generation, century after
10
century, and millennia after millennia. Further, if we can believe the Upanishads and other texts of Eastern
Religions, this process has gone on for millions of years and more. Yet, all of that matters not. There is
only one ETERNAL MOMENT. All time is played out in that single NOW. Interesting NOW backwards
is WON! So that is how we win, we focus on the present. As Ram Dass says "Be Here Now".
I have a plastic cup that I drink from that I got from one of the fast food restaurants. I just noticed that the
cup has the picture of a basketball player. What I can read on his jersey is SON 40. Two things came to
mind. I would have my Son at 40, which would be in 1998. I've always known that my children would
come from my mind not my body. Interesting Son = 19+6+5 = 30 = Camelot. SON = 19+15+14 = 48.
Either way, the outcome is extremely meaningful. Further 48 is the completion of the 40 from the jersey.
The cup also had the name of the player. Shawn KEMP = 19/27/28/33/38 11/16/29/45 38+45 = 83 = The
Hierophant Exalted. The capitalization was taken directly from the cup. The partial sums are all
interesting numbers as well. 11 16 19 27 28 29 33 38 45.
22 May 95
File size = 77522. 5:22-77, sweep of 55 centered at 5:49-50. Interesting. The Hierophant and the tick to
Happily Ever After. To some degree, that's what we were talking about yesterday.
On the way to dinner, the time that showed up on the clock when I turned on the ignition was 7:56, The
Chariot:Balance. Once again, the two drivers of my triangle readings appeared. Interesting, this is also 4
to 8 or 428 = 4::76 = 5:38 The Hierophant:VISION.
What am I missing? I understand that this is to be my job, but clearly it is not so at the present. However,
there is a sense that this year will bring lightning change. It will be interesting to experience it as it
unfolds. The anticipation is tough, however. Continuing to work at a job that ultimately lacks meaning is
tough to endure. Yet does any job truly have meaning. It is all a part of the awakening of spirit. I do have a
VISION of a UTOPIA. However, unlike my predecessors who had such visions [Plato, Moore(???), and
Huxley] I believe that I live in a time or near a time where such can be manifest. The Transcendentalists
also had relevant ideas in this area, but they too were a stepping stone on the way to what is to come. The
Aquarian Age is nigh upon us, and it will be as close to a utopia as can be manifest on this planet.
How can I know this? What evidence is there that the world is headed in this direction? To be honest, by
all appearance, the world is headed in exactly the other direction. However, there is a silent swell growing
at a rapid pace, a swell that allows metaphysical novels to hit the top of the bestseller list. Spirit is
reaching out for exactly what it needs to be more fully expressed. And, literally, overnight the world can
be renewed and a new dawn will finally be here, the Dawn of the Aquarian Age. Peace, sympathy,
understanding, harmony, love, friendliness, compassion, helpfulness, challenge, fulfillment, ... all of these
and more apply to this new age.
24 May 95
The highlights indicate numbers that call out as being highly significant. It's interesting that my birth falls
at 22::22 on one scale and 25:08 on the other.
1996 = 22::60 and 25:46.

1998 = 22::62 and 25:48.
2002 = 22::66 and 25:52.
2005 = 22::69 and 25:55.
11
2007 = 22::71 and 25:57.
2011 = 22::75 and 25:61.
2012 = 22::76 and 25:62.
2024 = 23::00 and 25:74.
My sense is that this is the timeline that I came to participate in. I entered at 22::22 as The Fool Complete
and set out to stay for the duration of the 22 cycle from a spiritual standpoint. The other years are special
points along the way. My first name told of the cycle that I would help to bring in: wayne = 23.
Had I been born in 22:22 = 1738, at this point in my life it would have been 1738 + 37 = 1775, the year
before the Declaration of Independence. How interesting! Also, the 22 cycle would complete in another
19 years, at which time I would have been 37 + 19 = 56.
29 May 95
Interesting. I didn't find time to write on 5/28, though that particular number has been extremely
important to me for nearly two years. I did think a lot, however. Specifically, about the words from one of
the popular songs in the sixties and early seventies - - "When the Moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter
aligns with Mars, then PEACE will reign throughout the planets and LOVE will rule the stars. This is the
dawning of the Age of Aquarius." For the past week, these words have nearly constantly occupied my
mind. Though, they have been lingering there for several months.
One discovery of this weekend was that about 3 months and 1 week after my conception, namely on
10/16/57 the above situation occurred with the alignment Mars at 14:29:08 and Jupiter at 14:28:19 (within
49 seconds). This is quite close! Something strikes me as extremely important about this. In addition to
Jupiter and Mars, Mercury was only three degrees off at 17:30:57 and the Sun only 8 degrees off at
22:47:24. All four of these planets were in the tenth house. Further, all planets were above the horizon.
Found a notebook yesterday in which I started to write my notes. It had two important dates. The first was
the day that the "Thoughts on the Nature of Being" were begun: 10/10/77. The second was the next day
that I wrote anything: 12/21/82. Yes, there was over five years between the initial writing session and the
next session. Now 5/28/95 comes into play as the day the notes were recovered.
[Note added on 3 Feb 97]
Curious, exactly 16 years later on 10/10/93, I was released from the mental hospital. Further, 11 years
after the second day of writing I completed the BEYOND IMAGINATION book. Interesting.
[End of addition]
Sitting out on my porch, my thoughts wandered to the origins of the house I live in, and why I was so
attracted to it. My sense was that in a very real way, this house was made for me. It was built in 1870,
exactly 88 years before my birth, so it is in synch spiritually -- a haven that promotes my consciousness
ever forward. We bought the house in late May 1989. It would be very interesting if the closing date
turned out to be 5/28, but I'm not sure how to verify that. 1989 was the house's 119 = 88 + 31 year, my 31
year, and Gini's 49 year. We're presently in the process of selling the house after 6 years, making the house
125, me 37, and Gini 55. 125 = 1::37 = 1:47. 125 also = 5 x 5 x 5. Other hits. 119 reversed = 911, The
Hermit:Justice. 125 is also the first part of my building number at work 1250 Borregas. 125 reversed =
521 = The Hierophant:The World.
12
So, what am I to make of all of this? There is a special destiny unfolding. There is simple no doubt about
it. Exactly what it is and what it means, I know not. But, I have a faith in consciousness that is
unshakeable and know that she will guide me on my way through whatever be that destiny. I willingly
give of all that I AM that such destiny may be fulfilled as consciousness would direct. All of my faculties
are at thy command. They could not be otherwise. Such is my state of awareness. So be it!
There is a sense of urgency -- a need to get on with it. Yet, also, there is a knowingness that things happen
in accord with a timing that is perfect, a timing laid out by the plan, and there is nothing that can either
hurry or slow this down one iota other than our own consciousness in experiencing what destiny bestows
upon us. No, I do not resign myself to a destiny determined solely by fate, but I also know that what we
are conscious of, while it impacts our perception of reality, is not the part of us that sets the script, rather it
is the part for whom the script is written. Know Thyself! That's the key. Consciousness expands via the
continuous pursuit of this one maxim. The amazing part is that since there is only One Self, One
Consciousness, of which we temporarily perceive ourselves to be independent of; at some point the
illusion vanishes and we know that we are that ONE, even in the midst of our individuality, and yet there
is no fear that our unique identity will be lost in the merging for this is preserved as well.
"No boundaries, Jonathan. No limits. It's in consciousness that we can truly fly in the manner in which we
were created to do." I'm sure this is not all from Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, but the
intent definitely is. I write what I hear in my head. Whether it is right or wrong is not for me to decide. I
may have my own opinions at times, but overall I trust that what comes through is what consciousness
intends to bring through me at the time and given the circumstances.
There is a sense that the act of bringing through information is sufficient to get it into the mass
consciousness of the planet, from where consciousness can then more easily get it where it needs to go.
My own experience is that in over two years of writing, I have never really had any strong sense of whom
the material was for. There was never any doubt that I needed to participate in bringing it through, but the
sense has been that whoever had the intelligence to write in this fashion surely knew who the audience
was to be. Thus far, I am the primary audience. I can't be sure that anyone else that has received any of the
material has actually read it. Interesting.
30 May 95
The file size when I left last week was 86928 @ 1:01 on 5/25/95. 9:28 - 68 is an extremely interesting
swing centered at 9:48. Here we have the HERMIT operating from a sweep of WAYNE through the Man
with the World in His Hands, centered at The Man in Search of More. Very interesting that this message
would come through with such force. 5/25/95 sums to 125 = 5 x 5 x 5. This showed up yesterday as well!
The context there was the age of my house in Monterey.
-----
The next question is did I miss another exact conjunction that occurred simultaneously with the Moon in
the seventh house. My sense is that no, somehow this is right. Essentially it gives us 5 + 47 = 52 years to
reach the Aquarian Age. I still have no sense that I will be around that long to see it, at least not in my
present form. Hanging around for that long somehow seems too boring for one who would change the
very nature of worlds. Then again, life here could get quite interesting very quickly. I have always felt my
days were numbered, though the specific endpoint has been moving as I grow older. 2005, and 2011. 2011
is my 53 = 52:22 year, very possibly a year of completion. That it is only 16 years away doesn't bother me
in the least. My ties to this world are relatively light. They always have been, and I sense they always will
be. I feel no remorse about this, it is as it is, a simple statement of fact. Whether this is due to a lack of
13
something in me or in others has no import. I work within what I have available to me. There is a sense
that I could not do what I must do without this disassociation. Interesting. The Hermit I AM, and The
Hermit I shall always be. So be it. No, this doesn't mean that I have no contact with the world, or that I
must go off and live in a cave somewhere. In my case, I am married, have a job, and interact with the
world to a limited degree. Yet, the interactions are at the surface primarily. They do not find their way to
the core of what I am. The message I send is that to know me, you must know thyself. For somewhere
there, you will find me also. I cannot be reflected outside of you without also being inside of you.
There is a level at which we are ONE, where no separation exists, and where there are no limits. However,
getting to that level is tricky. Many say the path is narrow and difficult to follow. I would offer that such
thinking is limiting in and of itself. Why must the path to enlightenment be so? Why can't it be wide and
easy to follow? The answer is that the illusion is so thick that it is nearly impossibly to find one's way to
what is real. This is why we have guides and wayshowers. They are there to light the way for others.
Further, when enough have trod the path, it will be wide enough to bring in the road builders and the
transportation vehicles to take larger numbers of people through that much easier. Yet, when will all this
occur. As a tropical Aries, I'm here to show the way. As a sidereal Pisces, spiritual matters are my sole
concern. For the most part they have been for the past 21 of 37 of my years on the planet. That's over half
of my life.
"Be in the world, but not of the world." To a large degree, such is the way I have lived and continue to live
my life. The biggest issue here is attachment. In particular, keeping one's attachments in the world to a
minimum. I have had many things in my life, but there is nothing so important that it could not go away
and yet have minimal impact on my life. My wife and my dogs are the only exceptions but they are
"beings" not "things".
31 May 95
It's interesting how a number that should be fairly arbitrary should have such meaning. If it happened only
once or twice that would be something else. But, this is happening virtually all of the time. The sense is
that wherever I am moved to look, there I will find meaning beyond my wildest imagining. Similarly,
whatever I am moved to write generally has the same impact.
The question always comes back to what is one to do. And, the answer, as always, is whatever one is
moved to do. To a large degree, there is nothing else that one can do. The wait is interesting however.
There is an inner sense that massive change is so close that it is almost within arm's reach or within a
minutes breath. Hmm, that's an interesting way to look at things.
14
BEST OF NOTES
JUNE 1995
I am on a spiritual quest that is taking me to places I had never dreamed

existed.
The world has little hold on me.

It is the ocean of spirit wherein I reside much of my time, bringing
through what I can of what I find there –
or better yet HERE and NOW, for it is only in the Spacious Present that
spirit exists without its masks of illusion and manifestation occurs.
15
BEST OF NOTES #20
1 Jun 95
This week wrapped up a project that I had been working on for the past 8 months. So, the new month
brings with it uncertainty as to what the future has in store. Similarly, I sense that this time has been
somewhat stagnant from a spiritual standpoint. I'm excited to get on with it, whatever it may be. Yet, I
know that the time will be right soon enough and there is much that I can do to more fully be prepared for
when my time in the limelight begins. Then again, that's assuming such is to be. There is always the
possibility that my work could be done behind the scenes. However, with tropical Leo rising and Sun in
Aries, this is not so likely -- though it may indeed be one of my particular challenges. Actually, competing
energies are at play. My spirit would have me be The Hermit. [Hmm, Sun and Mercury in the 9th House]
My soul, on the other hand, would have me be The Emperor or The Hierophant.
Clearly there is much to be done to awaken the world spiritually in a context that is meaningful materially.
It will be a major battle doing this within the United States alone. Yet, the camps are starting to be formed
and the rhetoric while thick lacks any real substance from any of the major players. The general public
has to see what a farce this is. We cannot allow ourselves to be represented by such bozos. However, until
we cease to operate from self-interest, we cannot expect our politicians to do otherwise. After all, we
expect them to be nothing more than a reflection of us.
Everywhere we look in our world, from the telescopic to the microscopic reflects something about
ourselves. The world is the only real objective mirror that we have.
Other connections 9 22 9 is the form of 40 that complements my 48 nature. We're getting to the Heart of
something here. The pieces are starting to fit together. I guess it is time for me to know something. What
still remains to be seen, but the revelation has begun, and I sense that a dam is about to burst. How
exciting it is to be in the midst of such discovery ... just thinking that I am in a state of being and
awareness that has never been expressed before.
7 Jun 95
The present age definitely seems to lack the clear distinction between right and wrong and suffers much
from duality. The era of the Empress calls for a softening of relationships among people, with a new focus
on brotherhood and sisterhood throughout the land and a true abundance that flows from trust in
consciousness.
Is an age one millennia or two? Are they all the same size of does it vary. My sense is that time is relative,
and an age lasts as long as is necessary for the completion of the events of that Age. Interesting. If you
control the script, in effect you control the clock as well.
Plato was born in 428 = 756 = 9;09. The Hermit;The Hermit Interesting that he is about the only
philosopher that I have related to. Actually, it's not so surprising. On the Love/Wisdom path, I know when
I encounter the truths that flow from true Lovers of Wisdom [Philo Sophia].
Our births are separated in time by 1958 + 428 = 2386 years, quite some time.
16
2386 = 27::10 = 28;62 = 30:46 Good number overall, but something more calls out. Unfolding from the
middle we get 38 26, The VISION GOD. Now, that's quite interesting.
38 to 6 = 5:22 = 6 = The Lovers, the top of my "A" reading. My sense is that this is the final key that
ensures that the puzzle fits. Anytime my musings take me to either 6 or 84 (6+78), I know that I am on the
right track. Tying 756 to The Hermit, and 528 to wayne were also major revelations. I still don't know
where all this is leading, but I like where it's headed.
These notes are moving so fast this month that I can no longer keep them within my conscious attention.
This applies not only from one day to the next, but from one session to another within the same day.
consciousness = 365 139631 5511 = 14 23 12 = 49. That surprises me for some reason. However, I
remember earlier work with I M = I IVI = 9 9 22 9 = 49.
My spiritual breakthroughs in the past two years have shown me first hand that there is a greater spiritual
reality that exists here amidst this day to day world. As Jesus said, it is only available "to those with the
ears to hear and eyes to see". The kingdom is right here. Camelot exists. It only needs to be brought to
Earth, and that will occur at the appointed time.
A thought came to mind. Time is the marker of our state of mass consciousness. It moves only at the pace
to correspond with our awareness. Something tells me that this can't be rushed. Yet, at the same time, my
own experience is that consciousness has guided my spiritual development throughout my life. My sense
is that this does not necessarily happen as directly for others. Perhaps they are not ready. I only know that
I must focus my life as my spirit dictates. It's no longer a choice. I don't know that it ever was.
I've known for many years that I have a special purpose. Many experiences have confirmed that this is so.
All of my life, I have been training for this job. Unfortunately, at the present time, the position doesn't
even exist. However, I am confident that it will be created by the time I am destined to fill it. Yes, I have a
great trust in consciousness. Others might use the term "God" instead. Further, I believe there to be only
ONE consciousness of which we are aware.
Once we finish our explorations of limitation, it will be time to go onto bolder Adventures in
Consciousness. I believe that was the title of one of Jane Roberts books. The theme that comes to mind is
a variation of one from Star Trek, "to boldly go where no consciousness has gone before." To some
degree, I believe that I am doing this now. But, I also sense that this is only the beginning of preparation
for where I am to go next. Needless to say, this makes for an interesting life. Yet, it is the life that I must
lead, for such is what I came to do.
It's interesting. I'm becoming consciously aware of many things through these writings, especially things
about the nature of reality, awareness, and consciousness. The mere fact that this can be done in virtual
isolation from the outside world is quite fascinating to me. It's as if I had to turn off the outside to be able
to turn on the inside. For me 3/5/1993 was the day that the flow of words began. That was an 8 day in a 22
year for a total of 30 = Camelot. How appropriate. This was 35 days before my 35th birthday. How's that
for an inheritance. Further, note the date 3/5! Yet, until now I hadn't noticed this before.
Information is given when it is needed and ready to be received. I can only conclude that my destiny is
that much closer. The urgency of these writings has stepped up an order of magnitude. I don't know why. I
only know that I am compelled by spirit to allow these words to flow forth as they do. This is effortless
work. I offer my abilities and faculties to consciousness, and she comes through with what must be said.
Yes, said. What is written comes directly from what I hear. My conscious mind makes minor grammar
corrections as the word is transformed to print, but these are primary issues dealing with multiple
17
spellings for the same sound. The part of me that brings this through gets its meaning from the sound not
the form.
8 Jun 95
Further confirmation that the channel is wide open and accurately receiving what consciousness is
attempting to bring through. That it can come through in such a manner is a miracle. This is creation at it's
finest, finding meaning where there was nothing, and spiritual meaning at that.
10 Jun 95
1994 = 832 = 09"69 and the year was indeed abundant for writing and for spiritual revelation, but always
from the standpoint of the hermit who, for the most part, stands apart from the world. In this world but not
of this world. And, not very much in it at that.
If my life indeed spans the millennia exactly, I would expect my end to come: 41 yrs, + 8 months - 8 days
after the turn of the century = July 23, 2041. I would be 83 years, 3 months, and 16 days. [Between my 83
and 84 birthday] 7/23/20/41 = 30 20 41 = 50 41 = 91 = Death Exalted, an appropriate day to ascend!
12 Jun 95
But then, if I were to rely solely on logic most of what I have brought through over the past two years
would not have seen the light of day, or of consciousness if you will, even if much of it have only been
seen by my consciousness. No, I'm not complaining. Right now, I wouldn't trade places with anyone else
in the world. I am on a spiritual quest that is taking me to places I had never dreamed existed. The world
has little hold on me. It is the ocean of spirit wherein I reside much of my time, bringing through what I
can of what I find there -- or better yet HERE and NOW, for it is only in the Spacious Present that spirit
exists without it's masks of illusion and manifestation occurs. Free choice exists not at the conscious level,
but at the Trinity level of conscious/subconscious/ superconscious. Unless awareness is expanded, we
only believe ourselves to be free within the illusion, and as the popular saying goes "none are more
hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe themselves to be free".
A quick random calculation said to subtract 840 - 84 = 756. To my surprise, 756 showed up again. I really
was startled because I did the calculation on the spur of the moment to see where I was in the cycle
defined by my full name, including jr. 756 = 9:00 = The Hermit, so 832 = 9:76. I would have been born in
796, a different form of 428.
I'm thinking too much about things now. Pieces are falling into place overall, but I'm trying to push the
details. Then again, that's where the play is now. The lesson is to see that it is not me that does these
things but consciousness. I can only go so far as I am ready and she allows. I am experiencing what comes
through me, not creating it at a level that I can relate to yet. Yes, I do believe that some larger "I" creates
my own reality, but thus far I am only aware of part of that larger "I". Time is 7:55 = 5 to 8 = 528! What's
the chance of my looking down and catching both 5:28 earlier and 7:55 now? Surely, consciousness is
directing my path down to the finest of details. 7:56, the drivers of my pyramids follows 7:55. 7:57 = 57 =
ELLIS = The Trinity of Swords through the Heart.
18
TOTAL = 2184. This is absolutely unbelievable! That these five major readings would add up to the final
four of my SSN, and further that this is the exact year when the 78 and the 84 cycles line up only for the
second time since year 0, really make one wonder. The universe is guiding me toward a greater
understanding of its mysteries.
2184 = 78 x 28 = 6 x 13 x 28 = 3 x 26 x 28 = 3 x 7 x 8 x 13 = 39 x 56
2184 = 84 x 26 = 6 x 14 x 26 = 3 x 28 x 26 = 3 x 8 x 7 x 13 = 24 x 91
Whoa! I didn't expect the 39 x 56 breakout. Those are the two middle cards forming the bar in the "A"
reading. They also show up side by side in the inverse triangle reading.
24 x 91 is an interesting breakout as well. The Q of Wands is the complement of the 64 card, and 91 is
Death Exalted. Death shows up in both the "A" and "X" readings.
Can it be that simple? Can our purpose truly be encoded in our names in this fashion. Is this true for
everyone, or is it only true for me? Interesting. I'm beyond anything that I have read or been taught. The
only foundation under me is a great faith in consciousness, and in my own ability to know the truth when
I see or hear it. Two years ago, I thought that I had such an unshakeable foundation only to see all of it
pulled out from under me. Actually such was required to clear out 20 years of cobwebs based on thinking
rather than on experience. This time I feel myself to be on firmer ground though there be no one in my life
that can even confirm whereupon I stand. I find it interesting that I am experiencing the things that I am.
These notes in particular consistently amaze me. Here, we have page after page confirming the existence
of something beyond which I am consciously aware. My sense is that it is beyond what anyone may have
experienced though I have no means to truly compare my reality to that of another.
And so, the writing goes on though at any point in time I know not where it will lead. Yet, I place my life
in it's hands, for these writings do indeed occupy a good bit of my free time. But, I am compelled by a
force deep within. There is a calling that I must answer to enable me to meet my appointed destiny per the
Plan of consciousness. I do indeed mean must. There is a sense that I don't have any choice in any of this.
I am watching myself live this life in this body, while maintaining an awareness that this indeed is what is
happening. Occasionally, I fall asleep and forget that this is really only a 3-D movie in which we are
playing a role that has been scripted by our higher self. We're not meant to understand it consciously. By
it's very nature, the conscious mind must reside within the confines of the illusion. It's only by giving up
control that we allow the Higher Self to act through us more directly in a manner that can begin to expand
our conscious awareness. This, however, requires great trust in inner consciousness. For most, this is a
major leap of faith that is simply just too great to make.
There is a sense that these notes capture a being in the midst of a major spiritual transition in a way that
has never been captured to this level of detail before.
Ego aside, I have a mission/destiny to perform at this particular time that makes me a very special being
on this planet. There is a sense that I came specifically to perform this task of assisting in bringing in the
new Age of Aquarius. Exactly what this task will be and when it will begin, I know not. I only know that I
am strange and different than others and that my consciousness is pulled to do what I must do.
My name, my colors, my date and time of birth, my talents and abilities, all lend credence to the idea that
I am very special and here for a very special purpose. Great gifts and talents are only given to those who
will be called upon to use them.
19
13 Jun 95
Something flashed across my mind to explain why I've been so manic this month. Last night was a full
moon, but that doesn't explain the entire month. Seeing that the date is 6/13/95 = The Lovers/Death/The
Star Exalted was more interesting. As I recall, June of last year was manic as well. I believe that I had a
maximum page count for notes that month, exceeded only by what I wrote in July. No, I was wrong. Page
count for Jun 94 was exactly 22. Jul 94 and Sep 94 were in the 60's, while Aug 94 was over 120. Since the
year has moved forward one, that the months for the heavy writing would slip back one is not surprising.
Let's consider the sums of month + year. 7 + 94 = 6 + 95 = 101 = 1:17 (84), 8 + 94 = 7 + 95 = 102 = 1:18
(84), The Moon in her full glory.
Interesting. The time is now 8:25, the reverse of 5:28. I'm onto something important once again. Hmm.
-----
It's interesting that 84, the period of URANUS would be the number that seems to be most characteristic
in my spiritual reality. Further, by the tropical zodiac, URANUS is just entering Aquarius for about a
seven year stay, 84/12 = 7:The Chariot, the ruler of my upward triangle reading. Seven years from now is
2002. How interesting. At that point Uranus moves into Pisces.
My charge number at work for Study 2-258 has been 2NHD = 21484 = 21 4 84 = 4 2184. There it is again
the last for of my SSN = 2184. N => IV yield 2 9 22 84 = 30 84 = Camelot: The Lovers Exalted [wayne
ellis hartman jr].
2-258 also reads as 2-528. 2528 = 30:08 (84) = 32:32 (78). This is particularly interesting since the
323232 triangle came up so recently.
------
I hadn't realized that LEO is directly across from AQUARIUS on the zodiac. I was born with an ascendant
of 4:25:26 Leo and with Uranus at 7:33:03 Leo, the difference being 03:07:37. The three sums are 55, 43,
and 47 respectively. Two out of the three sums are in my "X" reading. By this point in my 37th year,
Uranus has moved across 5 full signs + 22:26:57 of LEO. Normally that would take closer to 40 years, 7
years per sign + 5 to complete Leo, but Uranus has apparently been moving through a faster part of its
orbit. I sense that this will have some specific meaning to me in the days to come.
30 divided by 7 = 4.285714. What an interesting number, especially when one considers only the first
three digit, our famous 428 = 7:56 once again! Though, the 57 and 14 are interesting in and of themselves
as ELLIS and the complement of 74. I forgot, 14 + 70[the 528 card] = 84.
U R AN US = You are an us! That is the message of Uranus and the key lesson of the Aquarian Age. The
question is: how long will it take this country and the entire planet to truly realize this? My sense,
however, is that I will indeed live to see the day. And, further, that I have a key role in making it so.
Interesting. Yes, interesting indeed.
uranus = 391531 = 55:41:07 (84) = 64:27:49 (78) OK, one doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to see the
spiritual connection to uranus! It's as clear as day.
20
Uranus at 7:33:03 on my day of birth, The Chariot:The Christ:The Empress. Sum = Abundance. 84 years
to cross the zodiac = 84 months to cross a sign = 30 degrees. Yet, we've crossed 150 + 22:26:57 degrees =
172:26:57 d:m:s in 37 years + 2 months. The normal time would have been 172:26:57 / 30 x 7 = 40 years
+ 3 months. The schedule is accelerated almost exactly 37 month = 1 month per year of my life to date.
This is quite fascinating. It means that my Uranus opposition will most likely occur in my 38:VISION
year, 1996 in fact.
Hmm, Neptune was exactly conjunct Uranus and Square my Natal Sun during my intense mania and
spiritual awakenings during the late Summer an early Fall of 1993, my 35:Spiritual Inheritance year.
Neptune has a cycle of 168 years nearly exactly twice that of Uranus, so this conjunction of the two
planets occurs approximately once every cycle of Neptune or 168 years. That would mean that the last
time it occurred was 1993 - 168 = 1825. Uranus would have last entered Aquarius in 1995 - 84 = 1911 and
left it in 1918. This last year came up earlier today. I don't even remember the context.
2024 is my 66 year. 33 years on each side of 1991 = Death Exalted. 1991 also = the final Judgment year
of the 20th century. 1919, 1928, 1937, 1946, 1955, 1964, 1973, 1982, 1991. Note the sums: 38, 47, 56, 65,
74, 83=1:05 (78), 92=1:14 (78), 101=1:23 (78), 110=1:32 (78).
Interesting. I was noting how prominent 47 = ASLAN is in my life and my number, though it's starting to
seem as if the two are much the same. No, I am not a mathematician, my rules for intuitively manipulating
numbers are not even in the same dimension in which mathematics lies. Though I might argue that I do
find the spiritual meaning behind numbers, at least those related to my life anyway. By coincidence, this is
Pg 47.
14 Jun 95
File size 229687 @ 9:59 on 6/13. This is quite interesting. 229 687. The spirit wants 9:22, The Hermit:
The Fool Complete = Superconsciousness. The soul wants 6:87 = The Lovers: The Hermit Exalted. What
is the difference between spirit and soul? My sense is that spirit is without awareness of duality of
individuality, while the soul retains such awareness of itself as part. That's interesting. I don't believe that
this distinction has been made so fluidly and effortlessly before. Something says that the sweep from 687
to 922 = 235 is important as well. 23 5 = WE, now isn't that amazing. Further, 9:59 = The Hermit:The
Aquarian Age. Also, 9:59 = 5:9-9 = 59 = Aquarian Age.
-----
Also, I believe I finally figured out my own license plate, the driver of my chariot.
4V36124 = 42236124 = 4223 6124 = 42:16 - 23, span of 7, centered at 42:19-20. This uses base 100(The
Fool Complete Exalted.) Switching to base 84, we have:
50:16-23, center at 50:19-20. Isn't this interesting. This clearly deals with the spiritual completion of the
50 states, the Unites States. Further, right now we are transitioning to Judgment as my upright triangle
reading suggests. Information of this type isn't revealed until it is needed. I've known that my license plate
had meaning since I got it nearly two years ago. Only know was my mind directed as required to release
that meaning. I did not find it or uncover it. Rather, it was revealed to me effortlessly in an AHA=181 type
of experience.
Thinking about a vocation as Philosopher King led to some quick calculations.
21
PK = 1611, reversed = 1161, the year prior to 1162. This is a crucial year in much that has been revealed
over the past year plus.
Philosopher King = 78 + 32 = 110 = 1:32 (78) = 1:26(84).
7832 = 1:22:32 (78) = 1:09:20 (84) Quite appropriate. Yes, indeed.
1611 = 19:15 (84) = 20:51 (78) Nothing seems important about this.
1161 = 13:69 (84) = 14:69 (78)
That's right, 1162 is the 70 [528] year of the time when the 78 and 84 cycles walk together. This period
lasted from 1092 through 1170. It repeats itself every 78 x 7 = 546 years. That would mean the 70 year
also occurred in 1708, and will occur again in 2254. This makes 47 x 47 = 2209, a 70 - 45 = 25 year. In
fact, a 26:25 (84) = 28:25 (78) year.
Back to PHILOSOPHER KING = 110 + 72 = 182. I just got my money for my trip. Wouldn't you know it,
the number on the right bottom of the $20 is 182.
$20 B 74828021 N G3 G182 264 264 = 3:12 (84) = 3:30 (78)
BN = 25, the 2209 year. 748 28 021 appears to be the message. 28 with 47-48 and 20-21 transitions
underway. Note that if we take the 20-21 first, followed by the 47-48, we essentially get 20 47 - 21 48.
This is close but not quite right, 748 looked at from a different perspective is a 74 - 84 transition. Now, we
have 20 74 - 21 84, a difference of exactly 110 = Philosopher King. Further the final number 2184 is my
final four of my SSN. The connections are getting deeper and deeper.
Another Random Calculation 21:84 (91) = 1995 This is why it's all coming together now. It's still not
clear to my conscious mind, but it is very clear to my entire being. This is a very interesting sensation.
1995 is another major spiritual death, and birth year, at least for me.
How is it that my consciousness could know all this. The truth is, it is not my conscious mind that knows
all of this. It just comes through from consciousness, the ONE consciousness to which we are all
connected. I've only stepped aside a bit to allow her to speak her truths through me, and developed a
relationship of trust. It has not been for me to ask for proof. I neither desire nor need any. My experience
is enough for me. It matters not that I know no others whom have had similar experience. The line comes
to mind "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want ...". I feel exactly this way regarding consciousness,
except in this case, she provides all that is needed for my growth, evolution, and well-being.
My research last night was interesting. Each time Uranus has run it's course through Aquarius, major
structures in society have crumbled through revolution. 1911-18 was the last time, and Russia fell to the
Communists. The previous time in the 1827-34, both France and Greece had major revolutions that
uprooted both governments. This time should be even more interesting because Neptune joins Uranus as
well from 1998 - 2003.
The difference between the Sun = 1935 and the Son = 1965 = 30 = Camelot! Now, 19 + 65 = 84, The
Lovers Exalted. Clearly, all of this is more than coincidence. 19 + 91 = 110, the Philosopher King.
Assuming my life equally spans this year, my life duration would be 66 years 33 on each side --
interesting, yet somehow it feels right in my heart. This is 57 years + 9 overall = 24 + 9 + 9 + 24 years.
22
If you consider that I was born when I graduated from High School, my life is split evenly by the
millennia and spans 48 years. 24 keeps popping up everywhere. Interesting, I just realized that 24 is the
companion to 23 required to reach 47 = ASLAN. Minor manipulation, ASMAN = 48 = ASNAM =
NAMAS. This is missing a TE = 25. NAMASTE = 48 + 25 = 73.
We could also have used ATLAN = 48. My ring has a Large "A" with 12 smaller diamonds and a quarter
caret diamond at the top = 13. It also has 2 half caret rubies and 4 small emeralds. If "A" stands for Atlan
not Aslan, we've just made the 47 => 48 transition. The 74 => 84 transition is from "wayne ellis hartman"
to "wayne ellis hartman, jr".
ATLAN begs to be completed with a TIS = 20 9 19 = 48!
ATLANTIS = 96 = 1:12 (84) = 1:18 (78) = 88+8, the sum for the 888 triangle again.
-----
Looked at the radio clock. Of course, the time was exactly 5:28. It happens so often that I might as well
paint it on. It's simply amazing. Yet, as always, it's confirmation that I am indeed faithfully following the
path down which consciousness leads me. It's almost scary to think how much of this makes sense, yet
how little people are aware of it. In fact, I cannot be sure that even one other soul is aware -- for such has
not entered my experience. Not that I've given anyone much of a chance. The Hermit tends to shy away
from all but the essential contact with this world. Seeing that the last two times when Uranus went
through Aquarius brought major revolution and social change was very promising. Nearly twenty years
ago, in my valedictorian address, I told the audience "The time has come for a revolution, an intellectual
revolt against present ways of thinking and being." Clearly, I was a man ahead of my times. But, Aries is
charged with the role "to lead", and being an 18:Aries, my role was to lead in the area of consciousness.
Little did I know where this would take me. Though, not in my wildest imaginings could I have dreamt of
where I've been and where I now am.
I'm sure there are many who would diagnose the writer of these words as EGO-MANIC, MANIC, or
perhaps just plain crazy. Yet, I know that I am not any of the above. At times, I even question whether I
am writer, though I know from observation that I hear a voice in my head that gets translated into the
appropriate actions through my fingers to place these words on the screen in front of me. My sensation is
that I am speaking the words, but I have no sense of where the words originate. In other words, for the
most part these are not conscious musings. They come from a source that my conscious mind has no
direct awareness of. Given that I've been writing these notes for over two years, the conscious mind has
deduced that this other than conscious part not only exists, but can be quite productive and informative.
MANIC = 13/14/28/37/40 M => IVI and N => IV adds 27 + 17 = 44. Total = 84. Very interesting. I guess
they got the diagnosis right after all.
IVIA IVIC, middle = IVIB = 42. Interesting that both halves started with IVI.
BIPOLAR = 2/11/27/42/54/55/73 = NAMASTE and SETON. Interesting as well. However, these each
need 11 = Justice to reach 84.
-----
2024 = 8 x 253 = 2 x 2 x 2 x 11 x 23 = 88 x 23 = 22:88 (88)
23
THIS IS A MAJOR COMPLETION YEAR!
Prime rib dinner at Denny's. Food total came to $8.24, reversed = 4:28 = 7:56 again! Complete total was
$8.88.
-----
1993, was clearly the transition from my 35 to my 36 year. I sense that 1994 was my 6:01 year. That's
when the bulk of the writing started anyway. It was as if a switch was turned on and I transformed from an
information absorber to an information generator. I've been in this mode for nearly two years now, and I
suspect that I will be for the rest of my life. There is a deep sense of knowingness. It's as if I've tapped
into a well that is inexhaustible and knows anything that I could ever need to know. I only have to resign
my will, my conscious control to allow it to provide whatever might be needed. I sense that trust is the
key. Without it, the mechanism for drawing knowledge from the well does not work. Interesting. I'm in
the observer role more and more. Consciously, I'm in the process of constructing models that describe
reality in a manner consistent with what I am experiencing. There is some inner need for me to do this. I
am compelled. It is as if I truly have no choice, and I really believe that consciously indeed I have none.
It's very interesting that this be so, especially given the creativity apparent in these writings. In fact, I'm
sure many would consider them fiction, or would think that I, with an MSEE from Stanford must surely
be writing in jest. Yet, I assure you such is not the case. What is written here is what consciousness has
chosen to express through me, accompanied by my oft-time feeble attempts to consciously understand
what spiritual symbols mean. The bottom line is that what is needed will be revealed in it's due time.
I still don't know for sure, that what is true for me is true for all others. However, I sense that this is
indeed one of the areas where equality does apply. I know for certain it is not I who lives this life but
spirit acting through me. I am part of a Higher Self, a Soul, but all Souls are part of the ONE Spirit, the
ONE Consciousness. [Ln 7.56 Pos 5.17] Very interesting.
I'm finding things challenging consciously. I can't count on the same interpretation methods working very
long. It's as if the spiritual world refuses to grow stale and predictable except in relatively general terms.
Also, if the methods were fixed, one would not have to find superconsciousness to get the key -- and that's
the purpose of it all. Know Thyself was written above the door to Plato's school. Nothing has truly
changed since that time. It is not at all clear that the masses are any closer to understanding this than the
contemporaries of Plato were.
Fixed methods would have been subject to discovery via scientific methods. The problem is that neither
scientific nor religious methods have the whole answer. A blending of the two is required and this has not
been easy to achieve. The spiritual world will not be revealed so easily. One must have the appropriate
"eyes to see, and ears to hear".
Here I go talking as if I'm in the world and circumstances follow there cause/effect paths and we have a
means of affecting conscious choice within this reality. I truly do not believe this to be the case though all
experience may confirm it. We need to watch how we interpret confirmation in this reality. The blind men
and the elephant story comes to mind. Each blind man accurately described what he experienced but only
from a larger view could one see that they were all describing different views of the same thing. Also,
along this line, whenever multiple people witness the same event, the accounts nearly always differ in
very substantial ways. The lesson in this is to be careful of perceptions. Spirit is the true reality, all else is
illusion. That doesn't mean that the illusion is not experienced as being real, however. Many things hurt on
the physical, emotional, or mental level.
24
15 Jun 95
AURORA keeps coming up. A town in Colorado on the outskirts of Denver that I stayed in for a night in
1987 or 88, watching two simultaneous thunderstorms in different parts of town as if they were an
orchestra. In the movie, "Impromptu", George Sands (a female) falls heads over heels in love with
Chopin. It turns out that her given name at birth was Aurora. And, now there is a new car from GM (74)
advertised with a lengthy introduction of very intriguing music named, none other than, Aurora. 139691=
29. 13 96 91 = 200. 96 13 91 = 18 13 13. The Moon Exalted, Death, and Death Exalted. Quite interesting
indeed.
-----
Back to AURORA = AU RO RA = RO: AURA = 33:41, an interesting combination. OK, now we're
getting somewhere. AURORA = 74. AU = 22, RORA = 33+19 = 52. Let's play a little to get AU = 22.
ROAR = 33+19 = 52. Now we have Gold Lion. Something on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" last
week dealt with Dante Alighieri and Pope Leo X. DA = 41. LEO X = 12 5 15 24 = 56. Even more
important is the 5 15 in the middle surrounded by 1224, the sum for the 121212 triangle. 5 15 is on the top
row of my reverse triangle reading, the reading with 56 as the driver! 12 is also in that reading in the
second row from the bottom, right next to 64, the 88 complement of 24! How curious!
OK, now where does Gold Lion come in? Gold = 76 34 = 110 = 1:26 (84) = 1:32 (78). This was an
important sum from yesterday. Also interesting is that this is Pg 56, when I'm uncovering things about my
reverse triangle driven by 56.
Lion = 39 65 = 104 = 1:20 (84) = 1:26 (78). Total = 2:46 (84) = 2:58 (78) = Gold Lion
Gold(en) Lion adds 55 = 3:17 (84) = 3:35 (78) The Empress:The Star, and The Empress: Spiritual
Inheritance. Now we're getting somewhere.
I think I was supposed to get Lion King out of this. 39 65 25 57. 104 + 82 = 186 = 2:18 (84) = 2:30 (78).
Straight sum = 23 + 19 = 42. Appropriate.
GOLD = 7 15 12 4 = 38:VISION LION = 12 9 15 14 = 50:Happily Ever After [US Complete]
GOLD LION = 38 + 50 = 88. AURORA! => AU ROAR A = 89 = Justice Exalted, the center of my "X"
reading. This also relates to LEO X. LEO's symbol is a Lion. So we have a direct from Aurora to the X
reading. This tie includes Dante Alighieri (DA= 41) as well. The only thing we haven't yet tied in is the
book that caused the havoc that allowed the Paul Harvey story to begin with. I believe it was The Inferno
= 9 56 59 56 = 9 56 5 9 56. What a curious number this is. 5:The Hierophant with 9:56 on each side. Very
curious. 9:56 => 4210. 54210 = 906 = 10:66 (84) = 11:48 (78). I sense that this is where I was meant to
reach.
16 Jun 95
Saw 000 M, 111, 222, 222222, 333, 444, 666 twice, 777, 8888, and 999. That was in less than 30 minutes
of driving and 30 minutes of walking the dogs. Only the bold 222222 was on a vehicle that I had seen
before.
25
Looking out my window, there is a navy ship, right in the middle of my view. I've only seen one other
navy ship in Monterey port. As I recall, that was about two years ago, a bit latter in the summer. At that
time the number was a big 25. This time, I had to get my binoculars out to read a smaller white 972 on
light grey.
972 = 6 years from 978 (2001) and 16 years from 988 (2011), worldly and spiritual completion of The
Hermit. Interesting.
972 = 6:66 (151) 151 = 1:73 (78)
972 = 11:48 (84) = 12:36 (78) I believe this accurately portrays my current state. Projecting forward 2
years however, we reach 9 74 = 11:50 (84) = 12:38 (78). The Benefactor, 10 of Cups and Q of Cups =
VISION, all at the same time with the Hermit, Justice, and The Hanged Man. Something tells me "we
a'int seen nothing yet".
-----
I wonder whether others have such tightly interwoven symbolism in their immediate surroundings. Can
the world be made such that it is all meaningful? Interesting line of questioning. I'm sure the answer will
unfold in it's due time.
17 Jun 95
Rented movies 528 : "The Mission" and 755 : "The Star Chamber". Very interesting titles and how
appropriate for these two extra special numbers. "The Mission" takes place in the 1750's and begins with
a priest dictating a letter in 1758, exactly 200 years before my birth.
ESKALITH's prime component is Lithium (Li), element 3 with atomic weight = 7. The previous element
is Helium (He) with atomic weight = 4. Li = 12 9. He = 8 5 = The Chariot Exalted. 129 = 1:51(78) =
1:45(84) = 1:41(88). Very interesting. Also, 12 9 = The Hanged Man : The Hermit. This captures much of
how I've felt over the past two years.
Added a few notes to the numbers above. I'm still trying to unravel what it all means. Clearly there are
many strands twisted together in the web and what one gets out depends on ones' point of view. Hmm.
Quite interesting.
Li He = elements 3 2 with wts 7 4. 32 and 74 are very important numbers. Interesting.
I sense that I've captured a major discovery in the above, but that I don't yet consciously realize what it is.
Not to worry, all will be revealed in good time. That it could come together in the way that it has already
is amazing enough. This is the consciousness of 48 in action. Yes, that best describes my present state :
The Man in Search of More. What the world offers is not enough. I came to manifest spirit more fully in
flesh and to teach others how to do the same. These notes are the documentation of my wanderings during
my search. I am as compelled to write as much as to search. It's as if the process of bringing the
information through from consciousness onto the screen and printed page is my most effective means of
searching. I sense that I've literally entered a "No Man's Land" and while many kindred spirits whom have
come before formed the stepping stones from which I departed, I'm now following a path that comes
solely from my heart and sole. Consciousness guides every step of my way, and I know that I am
absolutely safe in her hands.
26
18 Jun 95
Another day of insights. Saw 000, 111, 222, 333, 4444, and 555 on various cars during the day. Drove to
Big Sur. Followed an Antelope Bus for many miles. The phone number on the back of the bus caught my
attention 1-800-266-8421. 2 followed by 66 followed by my the last four of my SSN double digit
reversed, 21 84 => 84 21. I believe Antelope is the 37 animal card. Yes, just looked it up. Further, its'
keyword is ACTION! Interesting. I had been sensing that it is time for something to happen soon, very
soon indeed.
-----
47 also = Ag: Silver with wt 108 = 1:30(78) = 1:24(84) = 1:20(88) Camelot : Q of Wands : and Judgment.
Total = 3:74, The Empress : The Benefactor!
Interesting that my mind would even think to add in this way. Adding numbers in different bases logically
is like adding apples and oranges, but the spiritual world does not confine itself to logic. It's primary tenet
is faith, as exhibited by trust in the beneficence of consciousness. It is the simple and innocent faith that
we have as children that most of us lose in the course of "growing up" only to find again when we really
"GROW UP" spiritually.
Know Thyself! It is as simple as that; but, also, as complex as that. Through thousands of years of our
history people have been attempting this very thing. Only a few that we know of have truly become Self-
Realized. The Buddha and The Christ, being the two prominent examples within the past 3000 years.
Buddha = 23 44 81 = 148 = 1:70(78) = 1:64(84) = 1:60(88)
Christ = 38 99 12 = 149 = 1:71(78) = 1:65(84) = 1:61(88)
Interesting how these two would come out one apart. Further, let's read the meaning in the components of
the double sums:
Buddha = King of Wands who became Spiritual Seeker, then became 81, The Empress Exalted (the
Enlightened One?)
Christ = Man of Vision who tried to Exalt the World but ended as The Hanged Man. Interesting!
BUDDHA = 2 21 4 4 8 1 = 40. So that's why 40 is so important!
CHRIST = 3 8 18 9 19 20 = 77. Interesting, I don't believe I've broken this out before.
528 = 6:66 (77) based on my calculation a day or two ago.
JESUS = 10 5 19 21 19 = 74. Combining the two, JESUS CHRIST = 74 77 = 151. This begs to be
expressed as 5:11, The Hierophant : Justice. However, let us keep with our bases of interest. 151 is two
steps forward from the double sum for Christ alone.
151 = 1:73(78) = 1:67(84) = 1:63(88) Requires spiritual sacrifice and recognizing light within.
27
SIDDHARTHA GAUTAMA = 19 9 4 4 8 1 18 20 8 1 7 1 21 20 1 13 1 = 92 64 = 156. Interesting, another
5 steps forward. This brings us to:
156 = 1:78(78) = 1:72(84) = 1:68(88) Enlightened in the world, but not completely in spirit.
Before I forget, the bill at Trader Joe's came to exactly $21.84, the last four of my SSN! 84 12 on the
Antelope Bus, then this total. 84 12 = The Lovers Exalted : The Hanged Man. 12-48 has a sweep of 36,
centered at 30:CAMELOT. Further, 8 41 2 begs to be read from the inside out as 4182 = Sum of the
414141 triangle. Also 41:82 = Ace of Cups : The Emperor Exalted.
It's interesting how all of this is coming together. As I said before, faith in consciousness is the key to
enlightenment. Only through such faith is one given the ability to use the eyes that can see and the ears
that can hear the truth of the spirit. At this very time, we are spiritual beings in the midst of a physical
experience. Further, that experience while it feels very real is nothing more than an illusion, a play of light
and mirrors designed to enhance the overall awareness of consciousness over whatever amount of time is
needed. Realization cannot be forced. It must be gently nurtured over whatever time it takes. Since time is
a byproduct of creating the illusion, it matters not to consciousness how long something takes. Pure
consciousness is NO THING. It exists outside of space and time. It's thought forms are all that exist
within the illusion. Don't underestimate this. Just look around you, the complexity of the fabric of
existence is quite extensive. But, regardless of the appearance, the bottom line is that the illusion is
created by consciousness and what we regard as our selves are but characters in a movie or play. The parts
are fully defined by consciousness. The script is written and cannot be altered. However, for the most part,
the actors are only give the part of the script required to play their role in the present moment. Most are
taught, and feel that they have free will. However, there is no real proof of this, regardless of the
appearances. For any decision point, there is always only one branch taken, and we can never be
completely sure that consciousness did not make the ultimate choice even though our conscious mind may
seem to think that it came to a logical conclusion.
-----
Tried to find when Neptune finishes it's pass through Pisces and enters Aries. It comes very close
[29:54:xx Pisces] on 7/4/2024, then goes retrograde. I was surprised to find that Pluto has entered
Aquarius [01:xx:xx] by that same time, though it too goes retrograde and probably heads back into
Capricorn for awhile. I'll figure out specific dates later this week since I'm curious and Pluto in Aquarius
may be an important time.
-----
On the way into work, I was thinking about the Maitreya Buddha, the 5th Buddha, who is said to be
coming soon to save the world, though it is not clear that such saving is truly needed. We only need to be
freed from the illusion, if only for a moment, to see that, as Emerson says "that spiritual is stronger than
any material force, that thoughts rule the world."
MAITREYA = 40 1 9 20 18 5 25 1 = 119 + 40 [BUDDHA] = 159 = 2:03[78] = 1:75[84] = 1:71[88]. Very

interesting numbers, though the step before would have been interesting as well. Siddhartha Gautama
came to 156. In the periodic table 159 brings us to the weight of element 65 = Terbium.
20/25/43/45/54/75/88. Very interesting. 65 is also the complement of 23, The King of Wands = wayne.
The highlighted 119 begs to be reversed to show itself as 911, the number commonly used for HELP in
Emergencies. It also partitions into 9 11 = The Hermit : Justice. Interesting.
28
Pg 74, The Benefactor shows itself here as well. I reached a point where I'm manic but extremely tired at
the same time. I'm excited by what has come through this month, yet I'm a bit overwhelmed as well. My
fingers keep recording the thoughts that come into my head, trusting that consciousness knows exactly
what she is doing, and is revealing what needs to be revealed at the appropriate timing.
19 Jun 95
Just as I was leaving from having dinner I saw a Mercedes Benz with F666 = Quad 6 pull up to a spot
within my vision. The next number that struck my attention was a large sign with address 575 = eye =
VISION. 575 = 7:29(78) = 6:71(84) = 6:47(88) Very interesting numbers. The Chariot and Spiritual
Uncertainty; The Lovers and Building the Cathedral; and The Lovers and The Seven Illusions. Even more
interesting, look at the numbers in another three years:
578 = 7:32(78) = 6:74(84) = 6:50(88) Is the message that 575 is the current time. Further, I sense that I've
reached 68 and 2184, the other two elements of my SSN as well. The fact that these pieces keep coming
up is direct evidence that something is important here and now.
-----
Be NZ again. Let's unfold this from the outside in. Be nZ. Beryllium Zinc. Interesting. I don't believe
these elements combine chemically, but I sense they do numerically.
Be = 4, wt = 9. Zn = 30, wt = 65.37
The Emperor, The Hermit Camelot, K of Pents . K of Cups

Sum of wts = 74.37 = The Benefactor : K of Cups.
Be nZ = 4 03 = 5:13(78) = 4:67(84) = 4:51(88)
benz = 25 58 = Manganese Cesium, weights = 55 + 140 = 195 = 2:39(78) = 2:27(84) = 2:19(88)
Be NZ. The image in my mind is for these two letters to be overlapped. The result is an X with a square
box around it such that the endpoint of the X reach the vertices of the box. I don't know what to make of
that yet, other than "The selected one". I don't know exactly where that came from, but it came through
and as the Rubaiyat says what the moving hand hath once writ, nothing in the heavens can erase. At least,
it says something to that effect. I've never said that my memory is any good. It seems to recall what is
needed, however.
Be NZ = Be 1426.
1422 = 6:66 (226) 2:70 2:58 2:50 2584 INTERESTING!
1428 = 6:66 (227) 2:71 2:59 2:51 2590 141414 Triangle
226 = Atomic Wt of Radium = Element 88.
The following state = 6:66 (227) where 227 = Wt of Actinium = Element 89. The sense is that the time to
ACT is coming very soon. 89 is Justice Exalted, the center of my X reading. It appears that we're on the
verge of activating the 141414 Triangle.
29
It's interesting that the multiple of 6 prior to 1426 = 1422 = 6:66(226) and 226 is the atomic wt of
Radium. 226 reversed = 6:22 = 7 = The Chariot. Radium's number is 88, Completion.
RADIUM = 18 1 4 9 21 13 = 18/19/23/32/53/66, the complement of 22.
Fermium, element 100, with wt = 252 is interesting as well.
252 = 3:18(78) = 2:84(84) = 3:00(84) = 2:76(88).
-----
Pluto enters Aquarius on 27 March 2023, A little over one year and one week before my 66 birthday. It
stays there through 26 August 2024, a period of exactly 17 months.
Neptune finally leaves Pisces on 30 March 2025, though I didn't make sure it doesn't take another
retrograde run that brings it back to Pisces for awhile.
Along this line, Neptune should have entered Pisces about 14 years earlier. It did. In particular on 4 April
2011, only 4 days before the second time that my birthday falls on Easter Day.
I noticed that Uranus was only a little over a degree into Aries at this time, so we might as well trace back
to where it leaves Pisces to enter Aries. This transition occurred between 10 March 2011 and 11 March
2011. Since Uranus moves through one sign per 7 years, it should be easy to track down the Aquarius to
Pisces transition as well. 9 March 2003 to 10 March 2003. Note that I had to go back 8 years rather than 7
to get to this transition.
Uranus entered Aquarius for awhile earlier this year. I believe it's back in Capricorn now. I'll do a quick
check and see when it enters again for good. [that is until 9 Mar 03 anyway]. This occurs between 11
January 1996 and 12 January 1996.
Neptune follows Uranus into Aquarius in 1998. Since we're in calculation mode, we might as well figure
out when. 28 January 1998 is the transition day. I also noticed that Jupiter is aligned with Mars to within 5
degrees on that particular day. Interesting.
Also went back to see that Uranus had an initial voyage into Aquarius from 4/1 through 6/8, a period of
30 + 31 + 8 = 69 days. Interesting that it would be exactly 69 = Ace of Pentacles, expressing the idea that
true abundance comes from spirit. The permanent entrance comes 7 months and 3 days after the first
sojourn. 30+31+31+30+31+30+31+3 = 217 = 2:61(79) = 2:49(84) = 2:41(88). My sense is that my
calculations may be a day off. For some reason it seems that the sum should be:
218 = 2:62 (78) = 2:50 (84) = 2:42 (88) Interesting.
URaNUS = 92 88 9 92 16 = 297 = 3:63 (78) = 3:45 (84) = 3:33 (88)
20 Jun 95
Another day. Another chance for consciousness to express itself in the world. Interesting. I can feel that I
am tired. Three weeks of mania is a major strain, yet I am so excited by the connections that are being
made. It's as if it took 37 years to reach this point in my life where I'm in a position to allow
30
consciousness to flow through me as she does. Yet, at the same time, I sense it was planned or destined all
along. The main question is whether this is true for me alone or true for all beings on the planet. My
immediate response is the latter, though there is some very strange stuff going on in many people's lives.
Then again, I'm one to talk about life being strange! Clearly, I've lived on the border of sanity for nearly
two years, and probably much longer than that. Interesting. Yet, deep within, I know that the reality I
experience is closer to the truth than that of most people. Can I prove it? NO! There is, however, an inner
knowingness that consciousness herself guides my path, and that within her embrace, I am perfectly safe.
No one told me this. It is just something that I know in my heart.
21 Jun 95
So, where is all of this leading? Clearly, the triple and quadruple numbers have even greater meaning
know than they did before. However, the further I get into this, the harder I find it to keep my conscious
attention focused and my conscious memory apprised of what I am finding. It all goes back to trust. This
is not a "conscious" production. It happens, and my conscious mind observes and participates, but by no
account is my conscious mind the creator of these writings. It's tough enough just observing what comes
through and determining what meaning to apply. Further, very often the material stretches even my beliefs
about the nature of Self, Consciousness, Spiritual Reality, and Physical Reality; and my beliefs are far
beyond what most people would consider to be sane. Even my wife questions my sanity with respect to all
this numbers stuff. My sense is that I am seeing what I need to see, and for the present, it matters not
whether anyone else sees the world as I do. The transformations will come soon enough, at which time
my work will be seen to have led the way into the wilderness so to speak. Moses comes to mind.
However, I don't foresee having to lead a people to the promised land as he did. Though, it may take some
strong demonstrations to bring about massive revolution. Ben Hur comes to mind as well, being number
41 as well. Ah, it is the BH = 28 that strikes my attention. Interesting. 12 + 20 = 32, and 21 + 47 = 68 are
quite meaningful as well.
The bottom line is faith in consciousness. All my life, everything that I have needed to know just came to
me either from internal or external sources. I never had to search for it, nor even ask for it. Overall, the
process has been pleasantly surprising leading me to great treasure stores of words that now form the
foundation for my understanding of Whom That I Am and how the world works. Very interesting.
Intuition has become the key to allowing the expression of consciousness to blossom through me. These
notes continue to be the primary outlet for that expression, though I sense that the time is coming soon
when even this will no longer be enough. When that will be and what will be after that remain to be seen,
but there is a destiny that I am marching to. And yes, my march is to the "beat of my own drummer" as
Thoreau said. But, by such a beat, I am indeed compelled to march. Truly, I have no choice here. I must
do what I must do. The Play is written, and I am compelled to act the part that I chose to play (and helped
to create) prior to entering this particular existence. Can I prove this. NO. Yet, I know that it is true. There
is no doubt about it. I know it in my heart, and my experience has been that I can trust my heart to be
right.
Looking through the periodic chart again, the sense is that these elements can be used as symbolic
building blocks, not just physical building blocks. Very interesting.
-----
GOD is not buildable from this set of blocks, neither Buddha nor Jesus. However, I've also seen Jesus
written as IASUS, and we can use Maitreya for Buddha. Actually, we'll have to be creative and end
Maitreya with an Au. Actually, something about that seems appropriate, since the Buddha is often Golden.
31
Also, interesting is that the Chinese restaurant in the Barnyard in Carmel is named Golden Buddha and
has a large Golden Buddha inside.
IAsUS = 53 33 92 16 = 194 = 2:40(77) = 2:38(78) = 2:26(84) = 2:18(88) = 2:16(89)
Maitreya = 41 92 95 71 = Nb U Am Lu = 299
This is 13:13(22)! Ultimate Death.
Then again, this could be the ultimate spiritual birth as well. Note the key components.
-----
I'm still amazed that the periodic chart can tie so easily into the spiritual work that I am doing. By now,
you might think that I would simply expect this to be the case. But, I still find it fascinating. I have no
idea as to where it all will lead, but I know that it will lead to exactly where it must. Consciousness is in
full control in my life. Perhaps this is true of everyone's life, the difference being simply that I am aware
that it is so. Looking back, the idea that the periodic chart could contain a spiritual alphabet would
probably be considered to be ludicrous by both the scientific and the religious communities. Clearly, I am
walking the straight and narrow path, balancing and maintaining my bearing solely by the grace of
consciousness. [Actually, perhaps the not-so-straight path.] Quite interesting when you look at it this way.
The bottom line is that by the criteria of world, I have crossed the line of sanity. For the past 2 years, I
have been of this state of mind. My own understanding is that this state was the result of a spiritual
awakening. However, I have no inputs from people in the world that validate this interpretation. My
writings make connections that most would consider to be absurd. Yet, consciousness expresses thusly
through me, and I find the connections to be highly meaningful to my understanding of Self and of the
Nature of Reality.
-----
I knew that VISION had to have an extremely powerful meaning. Otherwise, it simply could not be such
an important part of my mission. OK, I understand how one might think that this statement is coming
from Ego; yes, with a big E. However, my sense is that such is not the case. Ego lives for its own
glorification. Anyone who has read these notes for any reasonable length of time knows that this is not
what motivates me at all. Yes, the Leo rising likes the limelight on occasion, but my primary role is The
Hermit, and my sense is that much of my work will always be done in private, just as these notes are
done. Here, it is not my will but The Will of consciousness which shall be done. This doesn't mean that I
don't have great abilities and talents. However, I have chosen to use them as consciousness directs, not as
my personal conscious mind would have me do. This script is not being written in the present, however --
it is only being experienced. I do believe that I, at my Higher Self level, did indeed create the reality that I
am now experiencing. The creation occurred outside of time in conjunction with all of consciousness.
This part is true of each of us. Those who appear to be able to set goals and take actions to achieve those
goals included that within their personal script. This does not mean that those methods work individually
or overall. It only means that the script was set up that way. Cause-effect does not apply in the manner
that either science or metaphysics suggests. Reality is a game, a consciousness expansion game, period.
All that exists is consciousness. Experiencing reality is one of the means that consciousness uses to grow
and expand its awareness. Know Thyself is even more important now than it was in Plato's time.
22 Jun 95
32
We've reached the page corresponding to Radium. Wt = 226, reversed = 622 = 7. That's why 88 is such an
important base to me. It's amazing how all of these different symbol systems tie together in ways that are
beyond what the symbols were supposedly designed and created for. Consciousness does not leave such
things to chance. The web is intricately woven, and spirit is imbued in every part of it. We have only to
open our eyes and see. Though this also requires removing our blindfolds and faulty beliefs in the process
and opening ourselves to the new meaning that can come through. Interesting.
It's as if I've been introduced to a new language. It will be interesting to see what it allows me to say and
to realize. My sense is that we are both limited and empowered by the symbol systems that we use. In
most cases, symbol systems are not equivalent; so, perfect translations from one to another cannot be
made. Further, each system facilitates dealing with particular kinds of information while dealing much
less adequately, if at all, with other information.
So, what does my latest discovery offer? What new monitions of consciousness can I now hear that I
could not hear before? The answer is: I don't know. I trust that much will be revealed in the days to come,
but exactly what I know not. I've become used to having the "unknown" as a major player in my life. I
trust consciousness. What I need to know, I will know exactly when it is needed. Beyond that, it doesn't
matter. I learn new symbolic tools and languages to provide consciousness more flexibility in expressing
through me. In addition, identifying and realizing something as a symbol system has great value on the
path towards spiritual realization. These are not small discoveries by any means, but major breakthroughs
that tear through the fabric of the web to allow a new reality to be created. For the most part, reality is the
meaning we attach to the products/creations of consciousness as expressed via symbol systems.
Interesting. This is why "reality" is illusion. Only consciousness is REAL. Everything else is the creation
or manifestation of consciousness. Part of whom that I am is a limited version of the ONE consciousness,
limited only in term of my awareness of my true nature. As consciousness, I AM whatever my level of
realization of Self is. No more, and no less. Interesting. As I write this I am 37 years 2 months and 2
weeks old. This is but half of the number expressed in my name = 74: The Benefactor and the element
Wolfram.
-----
OK, that says I need to keep with my own rules. Use as few elements as necessary to piece together the
name or phrase, and don't worry about how much shifting, splitting, reversing or juggling is necessary.
Where there is a choice between symbols with the same components, use the one with the correct ordering
in terms of how the component parts will be used.
-----
What makes up AURORA?
Ar U O Ra
18 92 8 88
18/110/118/206 = 2:52(77) = 2:50(78) = 2:38(84) = 2:30(88) = 2:28(89)
JACKPOT !!!!!!! Major Shivers. Look at those numbers! This is why I am here! This is why the
commercial on the radio strikes me in the way it does. The time for building foundation is soon to
come. Camelot exists. It has for all time. It only needs to be brought down to earth. Further, we live
in the time in which this is to happen. Whether this week, this year, this decade, or this century
matters not.
33
Consciousness/spirit is in her native realm, soaring through me into the form of the notes. I bear witness
to a process I do not understand yet have given many hours to over the past two years. I find it curious
that this would be so. Further, I find it interesting that my path has not yet led to others with similar levels
of awareness. Then, who am I to judge how The Play plays itself out. I do what I must do, trusting that
others are doing the same and the consciousness is coordinating everything so that the overall Plan for the
evolution of consciousness can be achieved. Interesting. All of my life, with the exception of golf, I have
never set any goals nor desired any particular outcome. I've always trusted that spirit or consciousness
would provide, and I've always known that I came for a particular spiritual task, and that my destiny
would be made manifest at the appropriate time.
24 Jun 95
With the exception of 6/3 and 6/4, there have been notes written every day this month. The pace has been
roughly 4 pages per day though another few days came in at less than one page. There is no sence that
there is a quota of any type. However, it's as if there is something inside me that needs to burst out into
these communications. I offer myself unto consciousness, and she passes through whatever I am able to
bring forth into the world. This is a mutual endeavor, one that bring great joy and fulfillment to me. Yet, at
the same time, there is an incredible loneliness that comes through all of this. Oh, consciousness is always
there at my side, but that only addresses the spiritual half. I am spirit in flesh, amidst a sea of brethren
spirits in flesh. At some level we are all ONE, but All One is quite close ti Alone. The difference being a
single L, The Hanged Man of the Tarot. Very interesting.
25 Jun 95
Couldn't stop thinking about the Art of ALCHEMY, the transmutation of base metals into Gold, and the
transmutation of self into SELF.
Lead => Gold = 3514 => 7634. Delta = 4120. The Ace of Cups : Judgment.
-----
That's how we bring The Empress into the world, we find the way to combine Reality with the Illusion, or
to realize that they have been one and the same all along depending on which eyes we chose to look
through and which ears we chose to hear with. As I was writing this, the familiar shiver down the spine
came through again. We're touching upon some deep truths here, and as we do it's as if the very fabric of
the veil of illusion is torn asunder. Interesting. Yet, I know this as surely as I know that I am
consciousness expressed in flesh. How wonderful it is to come from this state of absolute knowingness.
No, it does not belong to me, but whatever work was necessary to permit my access has apparently been
accomplished. I don't control when this state will occur, but I trust that consciousness will put me in the
required states and circumstances necessary to accomplish the purpose for which I and, it seems, many
others came.
Make a "Heaven on Earth" is the way that the phrase goes. Such is the result of allowing spirit to more
fully express in this world. The question is: how do we awaken a people who have been asleep for so long
and who seem to (1) not know they are asleep, and (2) not desire to be awakened from their slumbers?
The key answer that comes is to show them what they are missing, to show them what life would be like
with spirit as the master, vs the will of man. Something tells me this is not going to be an easy sell.
Personal power is one of the buzzwords and hot topics of our times. Here, were saying that's all crap.
34
Personal humility and becoming a servant of The Will of Consciousness [or God/Goddess/All That Is] is
the new way of being that leads to great fulfillment and spiritual abundance. Yet, what a Giant step this is.
Anthony Robbins book Awaken The Giant Within comes to mind. However, this too may serve it's
purpose There are bound to be others like me, who say that's nice, but I have no goals that I want to
achieve, I have no desire to make any changes that involve any of the tools that you describe so well.
There is something missing. There is a spiritual component from which my souls purpose is derived.
Nothing in your repertoire has shown me how to get in tough with that.
-----
97 = 1:20(77) = 1:19(78) = 1:13(84) = 1:09(88) = 1:08(89) = 1:06(91)
102 = 1:25(77) = 1:24(78) = 1:18(84) = 1:14(88) = 1:13(89) = 1:11(91)
Once again, a minor difference between 97 and 102 has such a great impact on the destiny that it bears
witness to. Manifesting reality is a matter of finding which interpretations are real versus which are
illusion. And here, we cannot rely on the conscious mind to be of much assistance. It's world is that of the
illusion. Our inner core is where the truth lies. Since the dawn of time, there alone has it been hidden.
People have searched the world over to find it not, for it was there within them all along and they simply
could not see it. I am not the first to utter such truths, neither will I be the last. For the time is coming
soon when a new dawn arises, and what was before will no longer be, and what remains will be glorious
beyond imagination and all will know that spirit has returned into the world; they will feel it coursing
through their veins in a manner that they have not experienced before. Many think that such change can
only come in centuries, but I say that they will see what they have never seen and will come to know their
connection to source, the ONE true consciousness.
S Cr I Be
"S Cr" I be. Interpreted another way, I am "19 38". I also think, I am "16 24" is equally valid. The Sun and
VISION, I can easily understand. Similarly, The Tower and The Q of Wands" is not tough either. The K of
Wands + Q of Wands = 23+24 = 47. Also, the complement to the Q of Wands is the 64 card, bowing my
will to Thy Will.
I Be = 925, reversed = 529 = 8:55 = hew, my initials reversed. 925 = The Hermit:The First Knight as well;
an interesting combination.
925 = 12:01(77) = 11:67(78) = 11:01(84) = 10:45(88) = 10:35(89) Expected more.
I Be also = 53 4 = The Hierophant:Spirit Flying
534 = 6:72(77) = 6:66(78) = 6:30(84) = 6:04(88) = 5:87(89) Quite interesting.
-----
Further, 8437 = 8421 + 16:The Tower. 8421 is the double digit reverse of the last four of my SSN [2184]
that I saw on a truck during my drive to Big Sur two weeks ago. Here, the message seems to be that The
Tower has struck once again. That would confirm the state of consciousness I've been experiencing this
month and why these notes have been so prolific once again. It's interesting how consciousness works in
this manner.
35
I find it extremely curious that consciousness could use something this week as part of a confirmation
message that it only showed me a little over a week ago to begin with. Had 8421 not been on a truck that I
was following and had consciousness not had me think in terms of double digit reverses (something I had
not done before), the pieces would not have been in place to realize the above meaning for a license plate
that I happened to notice this morning. It is extremely curious that consciousness can operate in this
manner. No, there is nothing logical about it. However, more and more it doesn't matter that logic plays
such a limited role in my life now. It is curious that logic's role is so limited, but not surprising. The
bottom line is that intuition operates in the realm of direct knowing. Logic's utility as a tool decreases as
one's ability to tap source increases. I make it seem as if logic, science, and technology are of minimal
importance. Clearly this is not true in the world. Yet, to spirit such things are of little import. They busy
the mind and the senses, diverting the self from it's sole task of discovering it SELF. Then, my purpose is
not necessarily that of others. Further, the world is unlikely to end in my lifetime though I suspect it will
change in major ways. In fact, part of why I am here is to assist in the transformation that is to be. Why?
Simply because it is part of The Plan of consciousness.
How can I know this? I don't know, I just do. It's something that my heart knows to be right. It has nothing
to do with the brain or with thinking or with logic, or with anything that anyone has ever taught or told
me. It is something that I just know.
-----
As with other things, multiple interpretations are possible in many cases. All that I can do is trust
consciousness to guide me to that which is appropriate for the time and the circumstances. You might
sense that my faith in consciousness is convenient. Perhaps this is so. However, much of this is based on
my personal experience with information being revealed through me which as far as I know is not being
revealed in any other way. Further, this information comes through in such a manner that it is clear that I
am an active and willing participant in the process but that in no way am I the source of the information
that comes through.
The bottom line is that, even at 37, and with over 20 years of metaphysics in my background, I do not yet
even know something as simple as the origin of my thoughts. Further, I'm not even sure that it is right to
call them my thoughts. Consciousness pulls all the strings, and there is only One Consciousness. It exists
beyond space and time creating its own form of worlds of space/time in which to gain experience of its
own nature. These worlds of space/time operate as movies, complete at the time they are produced and
then spun off to be experienced by audiences of less realized pieces of the one consciousness. The pieces
can only exist because knowledge is partitioned and awareness occurs at various levels.
The consciousness that expressed through Emerson and Thoreau, is the same consciousness that
expressed through Socrates and Plato, and is the same consciousness that expresses through me now. You
may judge me to be highly ego-centric to put myself in such august company. Yet, I don't feel this to be
the case. It is by awareness only that one reaches any position. Further, that awareness should be
demonstrated in both deeds and words. Thus far, I have come to an understanding that deeds are
predetermined at the time we experience them though it does not appear that this is the case as they
happen. The key analogy that I like to use is that of movies. As we watch the movie, it appears that the
actors make choices and decisions. However, the movie is complete from end to end, before we ever see
it. It has been directed, produced, and edited to result in the form that we experience. Similarly, our
Higher selves outside of time along with consciousness serve as the producers and creators of our lives,
designing it all prior to our entering physical experience. Once we enter, we can only do what has been
planned, as it has been planned. In the process, our key task is to develop our awareness and come to
know our true self. Know Thyself is as true today as it was in the time of Plato. A scary thought, but it
doesn't seem that the mass consciousness has come very far in over two millennium. Then again, there is a
36
sense of readiness for major change, that some sort of a critical mass has been reached. Yes indeed, a New
Age is about to Dawn.
Again, you could ask how I can know this. The answer that cries out from my soul is that had this not
been the case, I, personally, would not have come to show the New Way. Powerful words, corresponding
to a very weighty mission. Yet, had I not come for such a mission, I would neither have the abilities that I
do nor would I be experiencing the reality that I am. I hadn't thought about it in these specific terms
before, but my sense is that we are only given gifts or talents if there is some task for which we will be
called upon to use them. Further, my sense is that further physical incarnation was a specific choice for
me at the Self level, that I was not required to make for educational needs as is true for most incarnations.
I specifically came because I wanted to play a role in ushering in The Aquarian Age, and I sense a major
role at that. Interesting, the time is 11:11. That's a sign that I'm on the right track. For me, it corresponds to
a completion time. This year, in particular, it also corresponds to 11/11, the third time I have a direct Pluto
square natal Pluto experience this year. There is also an association with a group that talks in terms of
building a body of consciousness [a group consciousness] that is capable of propelling itself out to
"boldly go where no consciousness has gone before". This is a variation of theme from Star Trek. Yet, it
is one that attracts my own consciousness as a magnet to iron. I know that part of my mission lies in that
direction. However, there is a more immediate part that I sense to be synchronized with Uranus trek
through Aquarius. This part somehow involves revolution on a massive scale, though I sense that much of
it will occur peacefully, as a revolution based upon ideas whose time has come.
28 Jun 95
Kim called and left a message. I found it extremely curious that her work number ends in 414141, The
Ace of Cups Triangle [41 also = Wayne]. She sounded in good spirits for a change. The sense I got from
the number was that things will be great for her their despite the initial hassles and difficulties caused by
her boss. Interesting. These triangles are coming up a lot. This particular one, however, has extremely
special meaning. Of all the cards in the deck, this one best expresses the abundance available from spirit.
For nearly the first time this month, my mind is a blank slate. There is nothing I desire to know, and
nothing appearing on its own. It's as if we've reached an equilibrium of sorts. I'm sure it won't last for
long, but it comes with a sense of absolute peace, and with a knowingness that consciousness at any time
can reach through to me and provide me with whatever I need to know. This is not something I control. It
is an automatic process now. Interesting. I don't thing this was fully true before. My own "abilities" would
get in the way -- my own beliefs about what I knew and more importantly what "I controlled". The sense
is that now I know I control nothing other than my awareness and attention, and with attention the control
is only partial since much is determined by the task at hand.
30 Jun 95
I have a sense that I've just entered another level in the spirit game, and just as with video games, the rules
have changed. What used to work, no longer has any power. The only way forward is complete surrender
to the will of consciousness. There are many things that I might like to know that are not necessary for my
development or for carrying out my mission. There is no time for delay any longer. Many of the symbols
and interpretations have been trinkles to my conscious mind to convince it that this spirit stuff was all
right and could be trusted. The time for such is over. The spiritual path is firmly established. I am aware
that everything real and imaginary is but the play of consciousness. Further, regardless of how deeply
connected we feel to the events that occur in our lives, we are in an elaborate theater observing a movie,
and it's only from that observer perspective that we can ever hope to find freedom in this life. The title of
37
Paul Twitchell's biography sums it up best, In My Soul, I Am Free. And, perhaps, it is only in soul or
consciousness where this is true.
-----
Total = $99 = The World Exalted. If this was a parting means for providing information in this manner,
consciousness sure came through with a grand finale. Obviously, there is meaning that I haven't yet begun
to express. At the same time, it is no longer clear that it must be expressed. What I need to get I will get.
The bottom line is that consciousness is an infinite resource. I don't need to resort to external symbols to
get spiritual information. It is there within me anytime it is needed. It is only my views and beliefs about
reality that got in the way or this conscious expression. It's like learning to ride a bike. First one uses
training wheels, but after awhile this is no longer necessary. My sojourn for the past two years has been
like that. Feeling my spiritual wings so to speak with a safety net. But, now, my sense is that I have
learned to fly. The Chrysalis has emerged from the cocoon to truly find it was a butterfly. And now I ride
the winds of consciousness, going wheresoever she takes me and carrying out my mission to the degree
that I am able.
-----
I'm trying to think back to what I was like at various points in my life, and wondering how receptive I
would have been to these ideas that flow forth now. I fear, the bottom line is that I would not have been
receptive for I had neither the eyes to see nor ears to hear. The scary part is that compared to much of the
planet, I have been extremely open to metaphysical ideas for much of my life. Yet, what I am into now is
Beyond what Mind is typically trained to deal with. I speak of consciousness divorced from brain, and
mind, and thinking whatsoever. This consciousness precedes existence and causes though to be. It is so
great as to create worlds in which exercise it's own creativity that it can come to know ever more of itself.
The world in which we presently exist is one such world. But, there is only one consciousness. And, all
that consciousness creates is of its one nature. The perception of many, the experience of duality, while it
feels real, can be no more than an illusion. Here, logic prevails. One does not create something out of
nothingness, that is unless you want to call consciousness herself, "nothingness" and here we may indeed
be starting to address sacred ground.
38
BEST OF NOTES
JULY 1995
No matter how far out I go,

I am safe,
for my sanctuary
is consciousness herself.
39
BEST OF NOTES #21

These were selected on 8-10 April 1998 from the Beyond Imagination NOTES of July 95. It's
curious because this is the SECOND time this has been done for the notes from this particular
month. All record of the first selection have been lost due to problems with the service provider and
with the zip drive where backup files were located.
Anyway, it seems that all this was meant to be. I needed to rediscover these particular passages at
this time. There is no doubt about it! What a wonderful BIRTHDAY present from SPIRIT!!!
ENJOY!
PS: As I was walking my dogs last night, it occurred to me that the material you see HERE is the
product of approximately 120 hours of my FREE time. That is what it took for me to bring this
expression forth three years ago ... AND to select and format the passages that follow. This is indeed
the TRUE WORK that I do in my LIFE.
3 Jul 95
I'm not sure how to describe the overall state that I'm in. For the most part, it's as if we're starting with a
blank slate. It's as if I know exactly what I need to know, or I have the appropriate abilities required for
this next phase in the adventure.
I know that I AM consciousness at my core. Yet, I also know that the illusion is composed of
consciousness as well.
It's as if my will now must be combined with the Greater Will of Consciousness for the
Greater Good of All.
Interesting, I know that I have a major role to play in the revolutionary changes that lie ahead. And, I do
indeed believe them to be revolutionary. Yet, at the same time, my mission is PEACE. Hence, a bloody or
violent change is not even a remote possibility. So, how does one fill the role of Peaceful Revolutionary?
By providing the appropriate guidance as the Philosopher King or as the Hermit. There are truly several
opportunities.
Can it really be that simple? My sense is YES. Where possible, keep the interpretations simple. Note the
obvious amidst the complex. Note what others seem to miss. There you'll find the answers you
seek.
"There you'll find the answers you seek". Where did that come from? What answers, and more
importantly to what questions? WHY is my key question. Ah. I have a valedictorian address nearly 20
years old that asked the key questions that still apply today. Actually, it was exactly 19 years ago. But,
why would 19 be so important now? 19:The Sun -- and the Son?
[Added 4/8/98]
40
Just yesterday I received something in the mail about YAHWEH being the true name of the creator.
Further, the original spelling had no vowels … YHWH. Note in particular that WHY is embedded
in reverse H WHY! It is also curious that my initials just happen to be WEH. Hmm…
Saw a spider on the wall in the bathroom. I had seen one yesterday scuttling across the lawn as I mowed
it. Further, I saw a third one nearly identical to the one in the bathroom about a week ago. There's still
something about spiders that strikes up a sense of fear in me. It's been there as far back as I can remember.
The sense is, however, that it has nothing to do with 8 and responsibility. However, it is something to be
recognized and I sense dealt with at some level. It's not just spiders, however. I've also encountered some
very strange looking insects over the years. There's another spider that just came into then out of my view
on the wall behind my computer. I don't remember ever seeing so many in the house in such a short period
of time.
Spider is Card 43. On page 208, we have:
"Spider ... weaving webs of delight, Weave me a peaceful world. Carrying creation in your web,
Waiting to be unfurled!"
Now look at that "Weave me a peaceful world." And, just how are we to go about doing that? 43 says start
with great abundance.
208 = 2:54(77) = 2:53(78) = 2:40(84) = 2:32(88) = 2:30(89) = 2:26(91)
Spider also deals with bringing the alphabet to mankind via the angles in it's web. Thus came the symbols
through which writing could be born. Interesting. Am I not as spider trying to create new symbols, or a
new understanding of symbols via which people can realize that there is much more to the world
than they presently see.
There is a spiritual world, just as real and vital as the physical one.
However, one needs the appropriate "eyes to see and ears to hear" to find it.
There is a sense in me that all that which we call knowledge, be it from the sciences, from religion, from
metaphysical sources, or from any other sources are valid perspectives. My forte is finding the Eagle's
Eye view from which all of the perspectives make sense as the pieces of a puzzle fit together. Where there
is contradiction, it shall be seen that such was only apparent contradiction and not real contradiction.
There is nothing worth dying for. But, there is a great deal worth living for.
Weave me a peaceful world, he said. Such is the commandment I giveth unto you. Carry it out to the
greatest degree that you can. Let your every thought, your every action, be aligned with this mission. This
is what Beyond Imagination is all about. The Aquarian Age is all nice and good, but your particular
purpose is more specific and forms the fundamental building block on which all else is based. Yes, that's
why the song as well:
"When the moon is in the 7th house,

and Jupiter aligns with Mars,
41
then PEACE will reign throughout the planets,
and LOVE will rule the stars."
I am beginning to suspect that wherever consciousness draws my attention, I'll find incredible beauty and
meaning. You could say this has become a way of life for me. It is not a game, nor a job, nor a hobby.
THIS IS MY LIFE. And, at this very instant, I would not have it any other way, even if I could. There is a
sense that everything that I need to carry out my mission is around me. I only need to gain the right
vantage point and see through the right eyes to bring it into my circle. That's it. The second. We're all
interconnected in a large circle, a hoop as the Indians would call it, and as the movie Pocahontas is
making known to millions whether than truly understand or not. The movie The Lion King also dealt with
the "circle of life" and the key maxim "to never take more than you give". This along with the basic
principle:
From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.
form the crucial foundation for a new society. Though we might want to add the Golden Rule and a few
other spiritual maxims common to all the Great Religions of the ages.
Am I a communist? The bottom line is Yes, philosophically. Then, so was Christ in terms of his ideas on
community. What is a communist anyway?
One who believes that there is a contract between people in a community or society, that
enables the group as a whole to get it's needs met to a higher degree working together than
by working apart.
Unions are entities that do this primarily for economic reasons to empower a group of individuals to deal
collectively with employers who typically have far greater power and clout. And yes, I favor unions as
well.
In fact, the ultimate Peace occurs with the ultimate union, where there are no separated parties who
need to handle grievances in other than peaceful fashion.
You say such Utopias exist only in the clouds. I say, nay, for I came to assure such clouds
as these float down to earth and the Legend of Camelot be manifest anew, this time to stay for
ages henceforth,
for the characters now playing

the lead roles will be of such light that the world has never seen.
Yeah, verily, the fog is lifting, and behold what your eyes shall see you shall not have even dreamed
possible. For what is to be will surely be Beyond Imagination.
And, what makes me so certain that such indeed will manifest? I see how enlivened I become when
consciousness speaks through me in this way.
I am a messenger, a scribe, of she who sent me.

This she be none other than Consciousness herself. And, while I am part of her, and she part of me,
she is the greater by far, and in many ways the only one of us that exists. As a part, the limitations that I
42
accept and experience enable me to see things in different ways, allowing consciousness to expand by my
experience. Not only my personal consciousness, but the entire matrix of which I am a part, all the way to
consciousness herself.
4 Jul 95
I just noticed that all three movies that I picked out yesterday were released in 1988. The third, TUCKER:
The Man and His Dreams. Movie number was 832, yes, the gold number on the house around the corner
on Jefferson. Further, Tucker built his 50 cars "Tucker Torpedos" in 1948. That his dream could by
squelched so soundly by the big three at the time was unconscionable, yet it was an indication of the times
-- times that still conform to the beliefs of the mass consciousness concerning the ability of big business
and special interests to control politics. In Tucker's case, his innovations would have cost Detroit billions
to compete with. Yet, what does this lesson really show us? The bottom line is that he built his 50 cars. He
made his dream a reality. That the world was not ready for it to be 50 thousand or 50 million, is another
matter entirely. Interesting. It seems that Tesla was a man ahead of his times in the same manner.
"There is nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come".
I don't know who said it, or even if I got it right, but the essence is there. However, the emphasis is not to
be placed on the idea alone, but on the fact that its time has come. Interesting indeed. This specifically
applies to my own endeavors as well. They will manifest in their due time, and I may or may not be
around to see the day. But what about "Carpe Diem -- Seize the Day"? Does this not apply as well?
Further does it not apply to each moment?
This difference is a matter of focus. Does one live one's life centered from ego, regardless of how
beneficent one appears -- or does one live from spirit? My sense is that we are observing a play over
which we consciously exert no control over the events that occur.
The wrinkle is that we are observing the play from the inside out, and we only bear witness to
what our character is able to perceive, experience, and realize.
In truth, we don't know much of how any of it works especially the most complex parts, namely the brain,
mind, and consciousness. I treat the three as separate, in increasing order of complexity and awareness.
Noticed 666 on the license plate of a black car parked behind me at home depot. It was slightly unusual
because it was three numbers, not involving any letters. When I turned around to get into my van , the Off
of the Office Depot sign caught my attention immediately. Another 666 within seconds. The mark of the
beast. Yet we also know that 6:66 covers a whole range of numbers that start at 468 and increasing by
multiples of 6. One particular point of interest is when 528 = 6:66. That occurs for 6:66(77). 600 =
6:66(89=11). The Lovers Exalted(100) associated with 89. How interesting. Further 630 = 6:66(94=16)
The Tower and The Lovers: Camelot.
I have to ask again whether these be the musings of a madman, or of consciousness herself through me.
My sense is the latter. But if tis the former, the sense of a madman is not a reasonable thing to be
following in search of truth. Yet, literally I have no choice. I have plunged into the deep end, so to speak,
and it is there that I shall sink or swim. Thus far, I seem to be swimming, actually flying for the most part.
But, I am in an unknown territory, with few reference points with which I am aware. My sense is that this
is part of my training as well, that I am to experience The Hermit so deeply that my trust in consciousness
becomes unshakeable and I become fully familiar with her ways of expressing spirit through us.
43
There is no sense that I have to seek anything, or go anywhere to find anything.

As always, everything that I truly need is within me.
My writing is often in the first person. For the most part this is because I am so often by myself that it
seems natural. Others may see this as self-centered. So be it. Tis not my responsibility to control how
others see me. I only ask that you judge my ideas for what they're worth, and the ideas that flow through
me from consciousness as well. See whether I was concerned for self profit or self glory, or rather the
Profit of All Humankind, and the Self glory of more fully expressing spirit in flesh throughout the
planet. Yes, were it up to me alone, I would be the Philosopher King with absolute rule -- allowing spirit
to rule through me to right the infrastructure and achieve the directive that spirit has given me:
"Weave me a peaceful world!" That's as direct an order as one can get.
At this point, I know not whether this is my task alone, or the task of a cast of thousands. What I do know,
is that everything has been elaborately planned by consciousness and what I need to know I will know
when I need to know it. This applies to everyone on the planet. Every decision being made was planned
by consciousness, down to the smallest detail. The Bible says that God is omniscient. How could she not
be, for what is God but Consciousness Herself, or Cosmic Consciousness as some might call it.
Time and space are illusion, but they are the realm wherein consciousness creates and plays, and most
importantly where consciousness gains realization of itself. Such is what it is all about: Know Thyself. All
else is window dressing. Perhaps that's why my life has become as it has. I have no hobbies or recreation
anymore -- other than watching movies. I have a very limited home life. I have no real friends that I deal
with outside of the work environment on any regular or even irregular basis for that matter. By all
accounts, I am very much The Hermit that I say that I am. Can this change? Do I want it to? I've spent all
of my life hidden from most people, do I really want that to change now? Actually, this isn't completely
correct. I've always worked well with people in the work environment, and got along well with them in
school, however, when it came time to go home -- nearly always was I alone. Even in the past seven years
of being married, there has been little difference. I still live in my own little world, little in terms of whom
it includes not in terms of its conceptual makeup.
Two years ago, I was golfing regularly -- every week, sometimes twice per week. It all but consumed the
weekend time, making the weeks and months and even years fly buy. Between work, golf, and some time
with the wife and dogs, my life was full. Then came the mania. For a few months, the golf got even better,
however my beliefs about the nature of reality and consciousness went into "never never" land. The
final culmination was a complete ceremonial renunciation of my will to Thy Will that landed me in the
hospital for 10 days where I was diagnosed as bipolar and put on Lithium for the rest of my life. Me, a
person who had never tried drugs or alcohol and never intended to, with the exception of an aspirin or
tylenol on occasion, condemned to taking serious medication to control my mental state. Further, six
months after the initial prescription, I started flying (extreme manic mental state) again and Valproic Acid
in the form of Depakote was added to my daily regimen.
I don't think like most other folks. Using chemical symbols as an alphabet and then converting the
symbols to their atomic numbers and atomic wts, adding to get a result and interpreting the result via
numerology is not something one is taught in chemistry class -- nor in any alchemical classes as far
as I know. So why do I do it? Simple, because consciousness bids me do so. It puts the thoughts in my
44
head and guides me in the direction needed to get whatever meaning is there for me. Generally, the
meaning is obvious, but not necessarily expressible. I see patterns of numbers that my conscious mind
recognizes as important even though it doesn't know the precise meaning. The value is that it is learning
to trust this inner source that springs from consciousness herself. When I say trust, I mean TRUST. I've
embraced a philosophy that says that the current existence we presently exist within was completed when
it was created. It is only from our vantage point that choice and free will and virtually everything we
associate with freedom has any appearance of reality.
Only in our souls are we free. The bottom line is that it is not what happens but how we interpret it
that makes all the difference.
Reality primarily lies in the realm of interpretation of what we experience. We are consciousness
experiencing life in flesh, not the other way around. How do I know this? I just do. There is no doubt
whatsoever.
5 Jul 95
I don't see the world confirming any of this yet, however. No, I don't expect proof. Things will occur
when the time is right and not one second before. Yes, I'm out on a limb, and a very shaky one at that.
However, the bottom line is that there is no risk.
No matter how far out I go, I am safe,

for my sanctuary is consciousness herself.
Every step is necessary, as is every realization, no matter how stunning or numbing it may be. At all
times, however, I will always be in the state most appropriate for my unfoldment and for carrying out my
role in consciousness plans. My mission must be done, not as I would consciously do, but as
consciousness would do through me. Interesting.
"Love is the answer," as one of the current popular songs says. "I believe in Love," as one of Elton John's
current songs says. The Lovers Exalted at the top of my "A" reading and the sum of the letters of my
entire name. "Love, love, love .." as the key to genius per Mozart. The same theme was present in several
other top songs as well.
There is a sense that this is how the mass consciousness is being transformed.
The artists are being inspired to write the necessary words and they are appearing in multiple media, on
the radio and as background in movies. Further, several movies are taking moral stands on issues and
coming through with very spiritual perspectives. The Lion King and Pocahontas are two key cases in
point.
Making connections. That is what it's all about. That's what the brain cells do, but they are
hampered by limited conscious belief systems.
45
Here, we have consciousness making the connections. The brain is receiving the thoughts. The
intuition is guided by consciousness as to what connections to make and what meaning to
assign.
Connections are what it's all about. The hoop and the circle of life. The consciousness of each rock,
and tree, and animal.
Everything is consciousness and consciousness creates thought forms out of herself. And these
thought forms are realities composed of worlds inhabited by smaller sparks of consciousness. Yet,
the sparks never truly separate from their source, while at the same time their experience is beyond
that which the whole could ever experience.
Without limitation, there can be no illusion, and reality within space/time is always illusion.
So how does one go beyond the limitation? The answer is simple "BE HERE NOW" as Ram Dass says.
When I am HERE, there is no space.

When I am NOW, there is no time.
Where there is no space, and when there is no time,
all that is left is BE -- pure consciousness!
Numbers are an integral part of how I get information from the world. In particular, spiritually related
information. I see no reason to give up this language now that I have found it and become somewhat
fluent in it. Yes, as far as I am concerned, these numbers form a symbolic language that is rich with
meaning. At this point, it doesn't matter that I may be the only person to see the meaning. At the very
least, it amuses me to no end.
No, my life is not like that of other people. For the most part, however, it never has been. So, this does not
bother me. I have been a loner all my life, and even though married for the past seven years still consider
myself to be a hermit. Until my late 20's, I actually expected to live out my life in this manner.
Consciousness excites me more than anything. I feel that I was awakened two years ago, and have stayed
awake for most of the time since then. No, this doesn't mean that I'm in ecstatic states all of the time.
However, I do experience them on occasion and with the exception of sleeping I'm nearly always aware of
the watcher presence around me. The watcher or the observer is a higher state of awareness than normal
waking consciousness. I don't mean to toot my own horn, rather I'm trying to illustrate a point using my
personal experience as the basis since that is all I know.
For the most part, what we experience is all we truly know. Yes, we can learn from the
experiences of others and try not to repeat their mistakes. However, when it comes to awareness of self,
here we are on our own. There may be tools and methods and processes to assist, but the bottom line is
that it is up to us to apply these on our own journey of self discovery.
46
I sense that I am a hairsbreadth away from being in a channeling state. I've been struggling for over an
hour to find it, but there is something in the way. Exactly what, I do not know. However, the sense is that
whatever it is, it is good.
Throughout time we have guided your progress and ensured that the plan kept it's proper timing. The idea
that everything is predestined is not quite right. It is close, but there is some room for adjustment
according to how awareness is elevated over the course of time. The bottom line is all that exists truly is
HERE and NOW. Both past and present can be manipulated as required to make the HERE and NOW
consistent.
Don't underestimate the means by which consciousness creates it's works in your world. Don't rule out
any possibilities.
It wasn't for naught that you were given the name Beyond Imagination to use in all of your
endeavors, for such indeed is what will come of your activities soon.
No, not NOW, but in a NOW that is to be.
6 Jul 95
I'm still on somewhat of a high from yesterday's presence. My sense is that I've reached or am reaching a
new level of awareness, one that is different from anything I have experienced before. There is no sense
of fear, however. Rather, I am intensely curious to see what this new level will bring into my existence. I
have two years of experience with major shifts of consciousness now. Personal experience, not the
second-hand experience of others. This also means that I have no basis for comparison other than to see
how I have grown as a result of these transformations. I still find it interesting that I am compelled to walk
this road alone. Then again, it is not clear there is a road, or worse yet, even a path. I'm having to create it
as I go. These notes are the signposts that I leave behind, warning others of what lies ahead. Curious that
this would be how it works.
We've definitely found a new direction now. One step at a time, The Fool Complete, knowing that there is
always one more safe step to take, trusting that consciousness has full control of the situation.
Giving up control. That is one of the hardest things to do in this society.
We teach people that they are free and can create whatever they want. But is this really true? Or, are we
subject to a massive deception? My sense is that there is really nothing to give up except the illusion that
we have control. Life happens. We know not why. In some cases we appear to be able to learn enough to
gain control over processes, such as in technology, chemistry, and medicine. Yet, my own personal
experience tells me that much of this seems to be incredibly lacking in true knowledge. The bottom line is
that we can come up with techniques to control forces for which we have no true understanding or
explanation. I have walked on hot coals in three different seminars over the past six years, twice with
Anthony Robbins and once with Stuart Wilde. I cannot explain why I and thousands of others were able to
do this, nor have I heard any sort of credible explanation from anyone. I do know that all three times, I
and the other walkers were clearly in altered states of consciousness, induced by psychologically psyching
ourselves up with the help of the facilitator until there was no longer any doubt. You could see the
intensity in peoples eyes. For most, they were in a psychological place they had never been in during their
entire life. For a few, it was just another day at the office.
47
My sense now is that I needed to see and experience firsthand some of the best training being done on the
planet, or at least in the country.
What I left with was a sense that the experience while great, lacked a key spiritual component.
My astrological makeup places me in a position to be highly sensitive to this. You might say it's one of the
major reasons why I'm here, to ensure that this component receives its due consideration, which of course,
is of the highest importance. Clearly, I've given it that level of prominence in my own life. How to do that
for the country and for the world at large is the next major question. As always, I think big and from the
top down. I can't help it, that's just how it works. We are about to see the Dawn of a New Age after all.
The Dawn comes to the entire planet in the course of a single day. Somehow, it seems that the Spiritual
Dawn will occur just as dramatically, though a single day seems to be pushing things a bit. Yet, on the
other hand, we're not talking decades or generations either. The sense is a few years. That is all that will
be needed.
What right have I to speak of things to come in such a manner? What do I know? What makes me so
special that consciousness speaks directly through me? There is nothing special about any of this.
I write what comes into my head. Consciousness puts it there. I have no means for deriving these
things with my conscious mind. They are not things for which logic has any utility.
Yet, there is a consistency in the notes that demonstrates an intelligence that is greater than we
normally know, that sees connections where there were but empty symbols before, or worse yet,
where the symbols weren't even noticed before.
So, what it this that sees with new eyes and hears with new ears and finds meaning where there was none
before?
Verily, I say it is a new consciousness at play within me, able to express itself more because
my own awareness has expanded to give it room, and my choice has been to fill this
expansion with Thy Will rather than my own.
Such is what allows this communication. For me, spirit would express best in this manner because
Mercury is at the very top of my birth chart. Communication is where my natural abilities are the greatest.
Writing has always been easy for me. Further, most of my jobs have been such as to take advantage of
this. These notes are even easier. For the most part, I am the scribe, taking down whatever consciousness
puts into my head, and documenting the adventures in consciousness on which I am taken.
You could say that I live and breathe consciousness.

Increasing spiritual awareness
and following the directive "Know Thyself" are the key elements in my life.
Very little else matters. I started to say, nothing else matters, and that is probably closer to my state of
mind at present. Interesting. This word appears a lot. One of the key features of awareness is a sense of
simultaneous multiplicity. I am typing, I am reading, and I am aware of seeing my fingers moving at the
48
same time that I hear the words in my head and see them appear on the screen. Further, at a metalevel, I
am aware that I am aware of all of these things.
The tougher part to deal with is that I know that my awareness stops at some point. For instance, my
awareness does not extend to the origin of the thoughts that are being expressed. It sees them happening,
and interprets what is being expressed, but it does not extend past the awareness of the voice in my head.
Further, while it sees the fingers move, the awareness does not extend to the source of the direction that
results in the movement. It's as if the brain receives the thought from consciousness herself and the body
mechanically commits it to the screen through the keyboard, automatically correcting most errors as it
goes along. I’ve been in this place before, and possibly have written these same words or similar ones
several times. This time, however, the sense is that things go deeper -- that I'm really onto something here
that few have realized before. Where this takes me, consciousness only knows.
Continuing, I have no sense that I am creating what is coming through these fingers at this time. There is
nothing that I am doing to make it happen. There is nothing that I am thinking. In fact, if anything, I
would describe my mind as blank most of the time. It is in a receptive mode, ready to receive what
consciousness would send. Then again, you could say this about much of my work as well.
It's as if I'm on automatic, always trusting that consciousness will come through with
whatever is needed in the moment.
At 37, this philosophy or way of life has served me well for over 20 years. I have no plans for the future,
and what is past is past. For most of my life, I have carried no memories with me, good ones or bad. I
moved often and was extremely shy, so I became quite self-reliant. Rarely have I had contact with people
from my past after any move. Next year marks my 20th reunion of my High School graduation. It's been
at least 18 years since I saw anyone that I knew in High School. I did go back to visit a few teachers the
first couple of years, but after that I had no desire to go back.
It seems that one of the key distinctions that must be made is that of what "I" consists of. The "I" that is
consciously reading this and hearing it in my head just before it is expressed through these fingers is
clearly not creating this information.
It is aware that it is watching the material being created

by a source that is outside of it's domain or dominion.
The conscious mind is charged with dealing with outer reality. Here, we are experiencing the products or
effects of inner reality. Since we've been doing it so much over the past two years, the conscious "I"
knows that it doesn't have to be threatened by such expressions. In fact, it has found that much of the
information is useful for dealing with the world at large.
From another vantage point, this material is coming through me. There is no other of whom I am aware
feeding this information to me. However, it is faulty to assume that because of this I indeed create what
comes through. What I know is that it comes through. Further, I know that it does not necessarily come
through just because I sit down to write. In addition, the quantity of information can vary by as much as a
order of magnitude from month to month.
My explanation is that it is consciousness that expresses through me. Not just me, but through each and
every one of us.
49
Further, it is the same consciousness expressing through me

as expressing through you,
for there is truly only

ONE Consciousness of which we all are part.
However, in being a part, we live in darkness, partitioned into little individual worlds of ignorance.
What we have in common is that divine spark, and a drive to return home to the ONE.
In some of us, this drive is great. In others, it's so weak as to take millennia to come out. Yet, it matters
not. The ONE Consciousness has produced a Play so grand as to allow each to get exactly those
experiences it needs to return home.
Another busy day. There is a sense that my world has changed in a very major way. I am no longer
content just to sit and write, but am moved to fling my ideas out to wherever they are meant to go to take
root. Where this is, I know not. I only know that I am moved to get the material out.
This is the question of the day. Where/How do I find the audience intended for my writings? My sense is
that to a large degree I have to let the audience find me. For this to happen physically, there must be some
type of media exposure. Someone has to see or hear what I have to say -- more specifically, what
consciousness has to say through me. That's the key. They ideas will strike a chord in those meant to
become involved in the initial phases of Beyond Imagination. The first phase was getting some stuff
written down. The next is to attract a core group to assist in manifesting the ideas, bringing them down to
earth and living them. My sense is that the time for this is rapidly drawing near.
Colorado still calls to my soul. Idaho was nice as well, but it's not the same. The Meadowdale Ranch and
Conference Center still seems like the perfect place, though I have no idea about how to make it so. I
sense that this is for consciousness to arrange somehow. It appears that a benefactor of some type is on the
horizon. When I look forward to see where I will be employed six months hence, the sense is that I will
truly be employed by consciousness and will be fully engaged in accomplishing my mission. In return,
there will be no lack. That is all. Just a sense that I will be doing what I love to do and will be amidst
others who are doing the same, though much of my work will still be alone, at the cutting edge of
consciousness.
7 Jul 95
Just went out on the balcony with Bear. After a few minutes, I noticed another US Navy ship in the bay.
However, this time it's parked where I can't see it from where I sit when I write. Interesting. It's as if I had
to search for it, but not too hard. The number was hard to make out even through binoculars, but I finally
got it, 996. The immediate sense that crossed my mind was that this is a timing message. We're on a
transformation path from 666 to 999. One way for this to happen is to take 333 steps. If the ship is right,
we're at step 330 already. At one step per year, we're back to 1998 being a critical year. The other way
relates to seeing the world upside down as The Hanged Man. 6 is transformed into 9 by a simple 180
degree rotation. Now, what do the three digits stand for? 666 is the mark of the beast. But, what is 999, the
beast transformed? And what does it take to make the final transformation
50
528 = 9:66? No! The result does not come out even. How about 528 = 9:96? This is true for base 48, The
Man in Search of More! 528 = 9 x 48 + 96 = 11 x 48! = 11:00(48) JUSTICE! Clearly this is the meaning
that I was meant to get from this. The shiver and goosebumps confirm this truth once again.
11 x 48 also = 5 x 96 + 48 = 5:48(96) = The Hierophant : The Man in Search of More in The Moon
Exalted base. Interesting indeed. I believe there is more to 528 that is yet to be revealed. However, the
time is not quite right yet. In particular, the relationship of 528 and Card 70, the Two of Pents has not yet
been fully unveiled. 528 = 7:38(70). Wow. I didn't even need a calculator for that one. The Chariot :
VISION. Of course, why had I not thought to make that connection before. Perhaps it is indeed because
consciousness is pulling the strings.
I was going to add and has taken control of my life, but in truth I sense that consciousness has
retained control all along for everyone and the idea that I personally had control was no more than
illusion.
This doesn't mean that I'm not responsible for my actions. What it does mean is that these actions were
decided at a higher level than my conscious mind or emotions alone no matter how much the illusion
appears to the contrary. I still know that our sojourn on this earth in space/time is in accord with a Play
and Master Plan than Consciousness has designed, and that we co-create our roles at a higher Self level,
and then emerge ourselves into the world to experience the parts we have planned.
I quickly read through a book with a very strange title. Something like Nothing Expressed in this Book is
Correct. That's as close as I can recall at this time. I spent at least half an hour leafing through it, in most
cases finding things that I have seen or heard before. One somewhat startling revelation dealt with the fact
that a lady in Peru achieved Christ Consciousness in 1989, and her efforts were essential in eliminating
the problem of the Grays among us. The book was printed in 1994, and there was no mention of others
who might have achieved such a state as well. It's also interesting because I've been re-reading bits and
pieces of Maurice Bucke's book Cosmic Consciousness. All of his evidence suggests that as of the turn of
the century, the frequency of occurrences of cosmic states of consciousness was rapidly increasing.
However, it is not clear that what the first author meant by Christ Consciousness is even of the same order
as a momentary glimpse of cosmic consciousness. I find it interesting that so little real work has been
done in this area. Then again, there is no reason this should be surprising, since the common use of logical
thought in argument in the Western World anyway doesn't go back very far in time. In fact, one might
successfully argue that it has never really existed. Then, to go a step further, and realize that logical
thought has it's place but should be subjugated to the intuition -- this is a giant leap of faith that
most are not willing to make. Actually, this is much more true of men than women who find it much
easier, in general, to tap their intuitive sides and trust what it tells them.
Back to the sense of being The Hanged Man. I do feel that I see the world (and myself) differently than
anyone I know or know of. It's not even close! I sit here and type knowing that it is consciousness
expressing through me, and that I am enacting a script and observing myself doing it. Exactly how far this
goes, I'm not yet sure, but I sense that it spans at least the physical, emotional, and mental. My sense is
that the only variable is the spiritual, since that is the true realm of consciousness, and further that much
of this is controlled by what is applied at the other three levels. In my case, having all those metaphysical
books come to my attention and so attract my thinking for so long. How could I not grow spiritually with
such a wonderful stimulus.
Yet, for my entire life, it has been consciousness herself

that guided me along the metaphysical path.
51
I've had no physical teachers, anyway. And, if I am being taught on other dimensions, I am not
consciously aware of such teaching.
Interesting. We keep coming back to this same point. At this time, I have realized that I have no
conscious control over what happens in my life. All of this was decided and scripted long ago. From
an ego standpoint, I lay down my need to exert any control. I never really had such control anyway,
regardless of how events may have appeared. I am the 64 Card of the Tarot, and I am also it's completion
the 24 Card: Q of Wands with it's black cat that ties it to the 13 Card: Death. Further, I am the 48, the Man
in Search of More.
In this aspect, where I search is not in the world of illusion,

but inside myself where my link to source, to consciousness, resides.
From this standpoint, I have no will of my own, no desires, no objectives, no goals -- other than to
increase in awareness and do what consciousness would have me do. Over the past two years I've had
insights into what this might be. However, the bottom line is I DO NOT KNOW, but
I have absolute faith in consciousness to create whatever circumstances
are required and move me to operate appropriately
to accomplish whatever mission I came into this existence to achieve.
These are very strong words. Further, they fly in the face of most metaphysical thinking. However, most
metaphysical thinking still deals with individuals consciously creating the reality (illusion) that they
prefer. When we go further inward, and address individuals as part of the ONE consciousness, we need to
graduate from high school and go to college. I say it in these terms because metaphysical thinking is a
large step up from the grade school level most people are at. In fact, if we look at the world at large, much
of the population doesn't make it to school at all. Given that we have such diversity, how is it that a
planetary shift is in order?
Many might consider my position a cop out. However, my observation is that my thoughts, my feelings,
and my physical actions are automatic. They happen, but there is no premeditation. Further, I neither
know how nor from where they originate. I take full responsibility for them, primarily from a
metaphysical/spiritual perspective. When decisions come up, I don't know how my mind comes up with
alternatives. Further, my experience has always been that either the choice is obvious or the choices are
equally acceptable. In both cases, effectively this means there is no choice.
Further, our experience of reality is one-way. Once we pass a decision point, we

don't have the possibility of going back to see whether we really could have made
a different choice.
The movie analogy works perfectly here. When we watch a new movie, we know that it is completed
before we start to watch it. Every line, every frame, every detail, including every emotion the actor's
convey and any decisions they make. It's all complete before we see the opening credits. Yet, we watch it
as if it were happening moment by moment, and in doing so experience a reality very similar to our own.
Could it not be that our lives are scripted in exactly the same fashion. Only we're sitting here as
52
consciousness, riding atop a character in the Play. I just had a flash that says what proof have I that the
identity I associate myself with is really me? Interesting.
Am I the puppet or the puppeteer or perhaps both at the same time?

Further, why do I need to be either? Why do I not simply manifest as pure consciousness, in the manner
that Seth describes in his books. The issue is level of awareness. All I know thus far is how much of my
native awareness I've been able to bring through. That's the inheritance part, the 35. I have no way of
knowing how much more there is, though my sense is that we've just scratched the surface. 11/11 is a key
date. That the final time Pluto square natal Pluto is exact. Interesting that it would be exactly 11/11 since
11:Justice is the middle card of my "X" reading. Much that is unknown now will be clear by then. Further,
it's only four months away.
10 Jul 95
On the drive into work this morning, I saw two very interesting license plates:
2ZTB222 @ 9:09 = The Hermit:The Hermit. This is 2822222, 28 and five 2's. However if we take the
shape of the Z as a triangularized 2, we get 2222222, seven 2's. JACKPOT BIG TIME!
6666 showed up exactly 11=Justice minutes later @ 9:20 = The Hermit : Judgment. Interesting.
NC IC AL
ZERO 8596 28 46 64
ONE 655 16 25 34
TWO 256 13 31 58
THREE 28955 29 47 56
FOUR 6639 24 24 60
FIVE 6945 24 24 42
SIX 196 16 34 52
SEVEN 15455 20 38 65
EIGHT 59782 31 31 49
NINE 5955 24 33 42
TEN 255 12 30 39
[NC = no caps, IC = Init Caps, AC = ALL CAPS]
It's interesting that five of the eleven numbers end in 55. That's nearly half, and were dealing with a two
digit ending not a single digit one.
It's interesting that 4,5, and 9 all have the same NC sum = 24. In addition 1 and 7 have the same NC sum
= 16:The Tower. 4,5 also have the same IC sum = 24. 2, 8 have the same IC sum = 31. Finally, only 5 and
9 have the same AC sum = 42 : Couple and Winged Lion Above Caduceus.
53
Two numbers end in 955. Three = 28955 and Nine = 5955. Something says to read this as 95 = 559 528
955. Very interesting. Now 93 = The Devil Exalted. This seems to be involved in exalting the Devil by
extracting a 9 and reducing him down to his proper position as The Lovers Exalted. The previous line was
7:56, so I know I'm on the right track. Further, the time is 12:56 = The Hanged Man : Balance and Truth.
Interesting.
25955 - 28955, span of 30:00, centered at 2:74:55. How appropriate. Yes, indeed. Both the Benefactor :
74 and Camelot : 30 make their appearance here.
I'm still flying. It is very hard to focus on work. There is a sense that revelation is taking place all
around me, and that major revelation -- and perhaps revolution is close at hand. Looking at world
events and seeing how they are interpreted by the talk show hosts on KGO is quite interesting as well. The
bottom line is that they have it all wrong. They make assumptions about cause and effect in both human
and government relations that simply have no basis. Yet, their words go out and impact tens to hundreds
of thousands potentially. Essentially, however, this is my only real connection with the outside world.
My attempt to establish a connection with the Psychology Dept at Stanford essentially fell on deaf ears.
However, they did recommend trying the Psychiatry and Human Behavior Dept of the Stanford Medical
School. Something seemed right about the recommendation, so I sent a slightly revised letter with a new
set of disks today. We'll see what comes of it in the next week or so. I was surprised to get such a quick
response to begin with.
However, I was more surprised that a University of the stature of Stanford isn't researching The
Nature of Personal Reality, and The Nature of Consciousness.
After all, what else should psychology be addressing if not these things?
Even William James was investigating these at the turn of the century when he wrote his classic book The
Varieties of Religious Experience.
On the way back from dinner, I saw a blue Corvette with 888 on it's license plate. So what is 888 telling
me? 88 was completion in this world. What does a triple 8 do? The first impression I get is responsibility
on three level. [Pg 22 Ln 7:56] at the time of that impression. Also, it , the impression, occurred at exactly
8:00. Interesting indeed. Three levels deals with physical, emotional, and mental.
I'm generating so much information, and observing so much, that I don't have the time to really analyze
and interpret it anymore. There is a sense that consciousness is overwhelming me on purpose to teach me
a lesson in discrimination. I need to learn to filter what comes in and quit trying so hard. I don't have to
understand everything.
I can trust that what I need in any moment,

consciousness will provide
in a manner that is clear, concise, and obvious.
This does not mean that I can sit back and do nothing. In fact, if anything, it means that I have as much if
not more to do, only that I need to take even more of my direction from consciousness directly. This goes
54
back to the 64 Card : Thy Will not my will be done. I sit here as a consciousness, aware of whom that I
am, and willingly submitting my personal will to that of consciousness herself. I still believe that the
reality we live within is an elaborate 3-D movie that has already been written.
We, as Higher Selves co-creating with the ONE Consciousness created, produced, and directed
this movie, and then we threw a piece of ourself in to act out our role, knowing that it would
increase in awareness as the movie went on through time.
For some, this increase in awareness might take millennia. For others, a few lifetimes might be
sufficient. In any event, it didn't matter. Time is a part of the illusion.
Awakening will take as long as it takes, not a moment longer nor sooner.
So, how will the massive change required to "weave me a peaceful world" come to be? I saw a spider
today while eating dinner. They keep turning up in my life. And, something within me knows that this is a
major part of my mission. I'm here to bring PEACE to the world.
Yes, me, a Hermit, who basically doesn't deal with people, am here on this planet
at this time to weave a peaceful world.
I have no question about it. Further, this is a major part of what is required to usher in the Age of
Aquarius.
My present belief system says that my thought, emotions, and actions are all governed by the movie or
Play. I'm awareness, associated with a vessel, but not in control of the vessel. At some point,
my awareness may reach a point where this changes, but my sense is that this will not occur in this
lifetime. Interesting, especially since my sense is that this is my final lifetime. After this, I return back to
the realm of consciousness from which I came for this special mission. I have no idea how many others
there are like me. The immediate answer is: as many as are necessary to carry out the mission of
Consciousness in the Play.
Each day, I feel more and more separated from others and from the world. There is this sense that I
need to make my VISION of the world as solid as possible in the ideal. Soon, it will be time to pass
this VISION on to others as well. Exactly who and how many, I know not. However, it is not for me to
know. Consciousness will make the necessary connections when the time is right. All that I have to do is
trust, and react to what consciousness tells me. Further, if the Play is truly already written, then
everything that must happen will happen. I'm getting another sense that while the Play is written, the
actors still must carry out their roles. Here's where the awareness factor comes in. I know that I do not
consciously create my thoughts. I hear them in my head, and I observe how I interpret and react to them,
but I have no awareness of where thoughts come from or where they go whence they depart or are
replaced. I now have over 1200 pages of such thoughts in written form, so I know whereof I speak.
I consider myself aware. Yet, I have no awareness scale by which to measure my awareness level
relative to that of others.
55
Further, even if I had a scale,

I don't know enough about more than a few people to judge their awareness anyway.
Maurice Bucke's book Cosmic Consciousness, deals with this -- but, I'm not completely sure that I meet
his criteria completely. I did have a major spiritual transformation at Age 35, as was typical of his
examples, but my background did not have me see things in the more conventional religious format
experienced by most. Given my background of 20 years of metaphysics, with no real specific religious
training after age 12 or so, this should not be surprising. Maurice's basic theory was that the race was
headed toward Cosmic Consciousness, and I believe he was right from his perspective. The Hanged Man
perspective however, looks at things backward. It is not that we are in the dark evolving step by step to
the light. When we view the world from the standpoint that we are watching a movie and that, in
particular, free will doesn't exist, period -- we see a very different picture.
What matters is awakening and awareness.
What history shows us is a slow struggle towards increased awareness. The sad part is that realization of
one simple truth would take us most of the way toward resolving our problems and "weaving a peaceful
world".
That truth is that we all spring from ONE Consciousness.

That is, we are ONE.
Not, we can be ONE, or we will eventually be ONE, but we are ONE right now.
That's easy to say, but how do we get people to believe it and act as if it were so? For one thing, all they
have to do is look at the back of a $1 bill. It's right there, in the middle in big letters.
I wrote something about two years ago that hangs on my wall along with some of the greatest quotes of
the western world:
56
Once you are given the knowingness, you can never fall back into ignorance.
Thy destiny must be manifest.
For, the fate of the world is intertwined with the destiny of each individual.
Each of you has the power to change your world --

to enhance it in ways that go beyond your wildest imaginings.
What you do and how you do it makes all the difference.

It's interesting looking at this now. Part of me says it is correct, but another part says this is so only within
the illusion. Further, it expresses a half truth dealing with the apparent conscious creation of reality. It
implies that we have choice in what we do and how we do it. My sense is that in reality we have no such
choice, rather we observe ourselves taking courses of action and believe that we had a choice. At a deeper
level, when we co-created our part in the Play at the Higher Self level, we did make such choices. Now,
however, we are playing out those predetermined choices. Most people do so falsely believing that they
are free to make choices and choose between apparent alternatives. My sense is that this last statement
alone is sufficient to brand me crazy from most peoples standpoint. However, I have never lived in
accord with the rules and beliefs of others.
I have been guided by consciousness herself to question what most people take for granted,
and perhaps what some hold sacred.
The above implies directly that we, even in the United States, are not free. Reality is not what it appears to
be. It's quite humorous actually. Further, nearly everything in the world at large is designed to keep
attention away from the only thing of any real value -- inner awareness and consciousness.
Yet, at the same time, I know that my VISION, and my actions to bring that VISION down to Earth will
be what is required to "weave a peaceful world". I came to express The Will of consciousness
physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually -- to the greatest degree possible at this time on this
planet. I am a Wayshower, in the process of finding my own way so that I have something to show to
others. In my own case, consciousness pushes me along. Actually, it's more than that. I realized, truly
realized that I was awareness occupying this physical vessel.
Where before I believed that I had conscious control, suddenly I knew that I truly knew nothing about
how any of it worked. In particular, I had prided myself in my intellect. In one moment, I knew that I
could take no conscious credit for my thoughts. Essentially, body, emotions, and mind ran automatically --
with me as awareness observing their operation and trying to assign meaning. Even that came
automatically as additional thoughts that I could observe with my awareness. Now, I stand awake. I have
no foreknowledge of what will happen when, but I have perfect trust in consciousness and know that
whatever it is will be appropriate.
57
I sleep a lot, I write, I watch movies, I walk my dogs, I do a few chores around the house, and I work.
Such is my life. I don't consider this writing to be work.
You might say it is part of my mission, something that I just must do.
No, I don't have any choice. I don't feel in control of where my consciousness is placed anymore. No,
there is no conscious sense that I am being controlled. However, there is a sense of being on automatic. I
am reading/hearing this as it comes into my mind and gets passed through my fingers into the word
processor and onto the screen. As I've stated several times before, I have no sense of origination. Further, I
don't buy the argument that because something appears in my head that "I" generated it. It clearly did not
come from a part of me that is conscious.
If all of this is coming from my subconscious,

or from my superconscious,
there is a great font of creativity within us.
Actually, I can only speak for myself. I'm the one that's watched over 1200 pages spring forth
automatically in a two year period. Further, this source does some very strange things, especially with
numbers. Part of that is from my mathematical background, but many of the manipulations are beyond
anything that mathematics would allow. Indeed, none of the metaphysics that I've been exposed to allows
these manipulation either.
I still have no knowledge of where my awareness goes when I sleep, and I rarely recall any dreams. Given
the amount of time I devote to other than conscious expression, it is not surprising that this would be the
case on the one hand; but is very surprising on the other because I am so involved with consciousness. My
sense is that I am not yet ready to gain access to that level of awareness. It will occur when the time is
right. For all practical purposes, we experience deaths to the conscious part of the psyche each night.
Interestingly, most of us are not bothered by this at all. Actually, when we take a hard look at how we
function, most of us have almost no idea -- probably 99% of us would flunk any real test. Know Thyself,
the directive above the gate to Plato's Academy. It applies even more today than in his time because we're
so close to the changing of an age.
What part of what I write is new? What part have I written before? What part is based on what I've read or
been told by others? I DON'T KNOW. What I do know is that I don't refer to any references. NEVER.
[Actually, with rare exception.] I do refer to songs, movie's, number that appear in my life. I don't refer to
books or other written works. I've read a lot over the past 22 years. How that material got organized
and stored within my brain, or even if it did, is a mystery. I assume that consciousness is controlling
this anyway. In my case, I trust that anything important that I've already seen will be recalled when
appropriate. If I haven't yet been exposed to it, consciousness will find a way to bring it to my attention.
For writing, it's all a matter of trust. I have watched hundreds of thousands of words come through
these fingers in the past two years, words that I did not know were in me. For thirty five years, I was
virtually silent. Maybe I wrote 10-20 pages during that time and talked to a few people about
metaphysics. Then, all of a sudden, it was as if the dam burst. In particular, in the past 20 months, there
has been a lot of writing. Even then, the variance per month is quite high. The typical month is in the mid-
20s page count. However, several months, including last month exceeded 100 pages. Yes, that's a lot of
writing. Further, the writing occurs linearly. There is no rewriting. Hell, I don't even find time for a final
spell check at the end of each month. Basically, I write until the end of the month, then print it, and start
on the next month.
58
There is no theme to these Notes,

other than the Nature of Consciousness.
Essentially, this is a record of where my particular consciousness and awareness have been. To a large
degree, that is its sole purpose. Why me? Because it is what I came to do. My birth was timed so that the
experiences of the past two years would occur when they did. Further, my abilities were set at birth and
my experiences were such as to develop those abilities. One of the key abilities, at the very top of my
astrology chart is Mercury, signifying written communication. I have always found it easiest to express
myself in this manner. In fact, nearly all of my working life has involved extensive writing as well.
Interesting. Now, it comes naturally. I just sit here and type whatever comes into my head trusting that
consciousness knows what she is doing, so whatever comes through will make sense. Does this mean
others can do the same? No.
What it does mean is that the trusting expression of whatever your talents and abilities
are is your optimum expression of consciousness.
Why would you want to "express consciousness"? Simply because that is what you do anyway. To be
honest, you have no choice. Aw, one key difference lies in the awareness. My sense is that I work best,
whether writing these Notes, or writing for work,
when I simply allow consciousness to do the work through me.
I'm a willing and necessary participant, but I have no sense of being the one in charge, nor do I desire to
be anymore. The bottom line is that I don't try to do things anymore, neither do I work at doing them;
rather, I allow them to occur naturally. I don't believe that what is done changes one iota. However, my
experience of it -- my awareness is very different.
Have I jumped off the deep end? If I had, would I even be of the presence of mind to ask?
Everything I'm hearing on the radio seems to indicate that we are very close to a revolution, not of people
against people, or people against the government, but of We The People against The Companies. It's
interesting that such would be the case in a country that prides itself on free enterprise. The problem,
however, comes when businesses are so big that enterprise is extremely controlled rather than being free.
However, We The People, seem to have reached our breaking point, and our collective will is such as to
be ripe for change. Interesting.
There appear to be a number of bills sponsored by The Companies that reverse safeguards that the
government has established to protect The Peoples wishes over the years including protection and
cleaning of the environment.
Something from the movie Half Moon Street came to my recall. There is a scene where a man tells
Sigourney Weaver's character that the world is run by The 5000, all of whom are men, of course, and most
of whom are Wealthy Bankers. This gets back to the idea of the Builderbergers and the Trilateral
Commission from UFO literature.
How is it that consciousness has guided me to the information and experiences that it has over the years?
No question about it, I was given and guided to exactly what I needed. This is true of all of us, whether
you believe it or not.
59
You will experience what you believe.
You will only be able to believe what you are ready to believe per the Play.
Remember, consciousness is feeding you the ideas and feelings that you experience to
serve its purpose of teaching you and expanding your awareness. Very interesting.
Much of this is made easier when you know for certain that all of this is the
experience of ONE Consciousness.
How do I know this? I just do.
Again I ask, are these the musings of one who is sane or one who has crossed into the netherworld? I still
consider myself to be sane. However, given where my consciousness spends its time, many may doubt
this to be the case. Such does not matter. The more important question is how I could have such
experiences and are the musings valid or true?
Here, I have no reason to doubt the material that comes through. Thus far it is relatively self-consistent,
and it is consistent with what I experience in the world; though, what I consider to be the world includes
additional meaning of symbol systems that most people would find questionable at best.
11 Jul 95
Another day has dawned. Yesterday's note writing was quite productive. In fact, I just couldn't stay away
from it. I was compelled by consciousness to write and write and write some more. My guess would be
that I wrote for at least 8 hours. Yes, on a workday. However, I must do what consciousness directs of me.
And besides, the work stuff was just too boring to keep my attention on a day when my consciousness
was soaring so high. Why was it soaring? Who knows? Anymore, all I can do is go with the flow. I write
when I am so moved, and I work when there is work to be done. But, I can work concurrent with this
writing as well. My mind is off formulating ideas for work too, that I can pull together quickly. Life and
work must flow together more fluidly. What matters after all? What am I here for? The job takes care of
the financial needs required to meet basic living obligations. Perhaps I have more obligations than I truly
need, but my obligations have always been balanced by wages. Consciousness takes care of that, it is
never something that I've had to worry about. There is always enough. Maybe not much excess, but
always enough. It's been that way my whole life. I have no reason to belief that it will change in the
future.
On all levels, consciousness has been

my comforter and protector, my guide and my closest friend.
Interesting. I hadn't that about it exactly in this way before. But, consciousness has always been there for
me. It just took awhile to realize her works and deeds in my life.
There are times when the writing process slows down. When consciousness stops putting thoughts in my
head for me to transfer to the screen. At such times, my mind simply goes blank. I have no thoughts, there
is nothing that I have to write about -- so the communication process stops, only to pick up again when
consciousness would express through me once again. I'm not very talkative either, except when it comes
to metaphysics, and then it's hard to get me to shut up.
60
There is a lot of first person stuff in these notes ... I this, I that, I believe, I know. For the most part this is
because that is where my experience is. These are the chronicles of "I" Wayne, a consciousness in the
midst of awakening and growing in awareness. I have limited knowledge of anyone else, even my wife,
Gini, of eight years. As I've stated before, I'm very much The Hermit.
Anyone reading these notes will know more about me than anyone that has been in my life for
any length of time.
It is here that I spill out whom that I AM.
And, what I AM is consciousness in expression.

I associate with this body, but not intimately. Similarly, I associate with this brain, and this mind that may
function beyond the physical confines of the brain. On some level I know that this physical stuff is not
me, it is not the essence of whom that I am, though I may be limited within it's confines while
experiencing physical reality. Where do such ideas come from? And, why now? They come from
consciousness, and they come when my awareness needs to be jogged in the direction of the true reality.
Interesting. However, I have no way of knowing whether and to what degree others are pulled in like
manner.
It's all very curious. I'm continuously amazed by what comes through. No, not all of it is clear and
succinct. However, it gets the message across. It appears that this month is going to be a doozie as well,
perhaps not quite as large as last month, but in the same ballpark. Then again, I don't like projecting things
that far in advance anymore. I never know from one day to the next where my state of mind and
consciousness will be. I cannot tell in advance where I will write 10 pages on a given day or go 10 days
without writing. Yet, there is a sense that this is all being expressed at the exact moment that it is
needed.
At the same time, however, I have no feedback showing that anyone other than me is getting anything
from this. The few people with whom I've shared this information have provided no specific feedback, so
I can't even tell for sure that it is being read. Thus far, I've received little direction from consciousness as
to where to send any of this.
When I look back over the course of two years and recall all that I've experienced in that time, it has been
simply remarkable. The spiritual awakening and transformation has been literally beyond
imagination. That my awareness of self and Self and consciousness Herself could change so rapidly
is virtually unbelievable.
Yet, it did happen. And, amazingly, I didn't go insane during the process. The hardest part to take is how
little 20 years of metaphysics, including reading over 1000 books and attending several seminars,
prepared me for my experiences. Further, there was literally no one there to help me through it.
Basically, all that I believed in went from being solid to being extremely shaky. What had been
automatic before, all of a sudden became a laborious undertaking. I didn't know what was real or
what was true anymore. It was a very strange place to be, and, it took me the good part of three
months to really recover to a reasonable degree. Even then, I felt that I was still on very shaky
61
ground, except now I was I high spiritual ground. Hell, as far as I knew, I was up there in the
clouds having a hard time even touching the Earth. Through it all, these Notes were my constant
release, allowing me to record what I was experiencing as I experienced it. More than that, they
were my teacher as well for much of what I was reading was new and fresh to me, not based on
anything that I had previously read or experienced. I found it all extremely fascinating. In fact, I
still do. I am amazed at what consciousness is able to bring through.
What does matter is HERE and NOW. That is where I exist. It is where I AM.
Past and Future have no meaning. They are but the extensions of this very moment.
Everything that I need to fulfill my mission is HERE and NOW. In consciousness,

in the moment is where reality resides and where reality is created.
I need only focus my attention on that very point.
Yes, I am on the edge of madness, but on the edge of genius as well. Reality and Illusion are two sides
of the same coin. Interesting. I have never seen it stated or stated this truth in that manner before. You
see, neither can exist without the other. Both still exist within the realm of duality. Outside of this is an
even greater realm. That is where the ONE is to be found. That is what I, as 48, am in search of.
The sense is that there is nothing else that can satisfy this inner longing within me. I am
moved by forces that appear beyond my control.
But I am moved with my full consent, for the forces are those of consciousness, and in her
hands I am as content as a new born babe at its mother's breast.
Why do I call consciousness "her"?

Because my intuition tells me that she has a feminine nature.
And, of course, I trust my intuition as if it were gospel.

Interesting that this would be the case. And, I did experience a run of a few months when my intuition
went sour so to speak. But, my whole sense of reality crumbled at that time, so the lapse is now forgotten
history. My wife considers me to be extremely stubborn. She's both right and wrong about that.
My philosophy is that the realm of beliefs is a playground, and if your going to play, play
with all your heart -- believe so firmly that you leave no room for doubt.
However, should you come across something that compels you to change your belief,
62
do so with full conviction as well.
My sense is that with beliefs, they are either useful or they are not, and you will never know
one way or another until you commit, irrational though it my be.
There are many areas for which truth and logic have not yet developed sufficient frameworks to provide
answers. These areas are the playgrounds where other modes of consciousness are free to shine.
Interesting.
As I was leaving Gilroy, I kept thinking of the Star Trek mission, and how closely related, at least in
words, my own mission is.
This is the voyage of consciousness Wayne

whose five year mission is
to seek out new realities and to
boldly go where no consciousness has gone before.
How does one deal with such a mission statement? Pretty audacious, isn't it! Yet, something deep within
me says that this indeed strikes the essence of what I am to do. Further, the five year time span sounds
right. After that, who knows where consciousness will take me. In the meantime, this is plenty to occupy
me. Unlike the starship Enterprise however, I appear to be on my own. I have no crew so to speak. Then
again, perhaps I need to rethink how I view myself.
13 Jul 95
In addition to buying the Tarot book for Gini, I bought a bright red book titled NEW ERA COMMUNITY,
dated 1926 on the cover with a complex Chinese symbol inside a thick bordered square above the title. I
was irresistible drawn to it. Interesting. My sense is that it is an exposition of communism, but in a way
that is rational or at least appeals to the spirit.
When I got back to my van at about 2:20, there was a minivan parked in front of me with the most
incredible license plate I have yet encountered:
888888L Yes, six 8's in a row and an L. Further, it had to be customized because even truck
license plates start with a letter.
Relating this to the second bill above, we get heavy energy applied to strength, and L = The Hanged Man.
Interesting.
Earlier in the day, Gini had called me and told me she drew the Death card for me. Seeing this license
plate freaked me out a bit 88 88 88 12. Completion on three levels and The Hanged man on the fourth.
Very curious indeed. But, I do sense that there has indeed been a major shift. I can't yet explain it since I
haven't experienced enough of it to know what it really is yet. However, there is no doubt that there has
been a major irreversable shift.
63
14 Jul 95
The high that I've been on for the past six or seven weeks seems to have lessened a bit. One key sign is
the pace of the writing. Part of that was due to work being busy, but I sense another part is due to a
shifting of the energy matrix through which this material flows. 888888L was a major signal/message
from the universe. My sense is that I have not yet fully understood its' real meaning and the immediate
impact that lies in store. Yes, the sense is that the time frame is indeed immediate. I haven't felt this so
strongly before.
As I was resting late this afternoon, I couldn't stop thinking about 888888L = 88 88 88 12. What is
necessary for completion is 88-12=76. The 76 Tarot card is the 8 of Pentacles. It has a man on a
workbench making pentacles. 6 completed pentacles hang on the wall, 1 is in work, and 1 unfinished
pentacle lies on the ground. The man works away without the distractions of the world and seems to have
no interest in spending the pentacles he has made. 76 is also the year I graduated from High School and
the year Jamie was born. Hmm 76 is also 2 x 38. This relates to VISION, seeing with two sets of eyes.
Interesting. 76 is also 28 + 48, another meaningful set of symbols.
76 = Os 38 + 38 = Sr Sr 28 + 48 = Ni Cd [Interesting, nickel cadmium, NiCad]
A flash crossed my mind . . .
One cannot reach 88 88 88 88 and still stay physical.
The best one can do on that final leg is 78. This would mean I only have 66 remaining to completion, or
maybe to completion period. This would agree with 1991 = 33rd year being the center point. Further, it
would say that right now I'm at the 37+12 point = 49. This all seems to fit. However, multiple cycles are
at work. My birth cycle puts me at 37 right now, and I am experiencing the K of Cups nature -- riding on
my subconscious.
OK, how does this line up the critical years then?
• 1996 = 50 Happily ever after. VISION of the world transformed.

• 1998 = 52 2002 = 56 Traveling the inverted triangle
• 2005 = 59 Aquarian Age begins. The First Easter B-Day.
• 2011 = 65 The King of Pents. The Second Easter B-Day
• 2016 = 70 The Tower, 528 2020 = 74 Judgment, The:Benefactor.
• 2022 = 76 The Fool Complete : Doing Spirits work in this world.
• 2024 = 78 The Ancient One. Check out time!
I think we got something here. This feels right. But then, I've been wrong before. The sense I have is that
888888L was my spiritual inheritance. Essentially, it's where my experiences at age 35 took me.
And, very rapidly I might add. But, 20 years of metaphysics had prepared my conscious mind to accept
and come to grips with what was happening. Once again, I know nothing about how this works for
anyone else. I can only relate what I experience in terms that I know and understand. Though, even there,
I would question whether I truly know all of the things that come through this mind and these fingers. I
observe them coming through, but it is consciousness that actually brings them through. Yes, I have a part
to play. My awareness is required to transform the information from whatever form it has outside of
physical reality to the form that you see here. However, I experience it, basically, as an automated
process.
64
How can this be? How can I be aware, yet so unaware of such basic processes as how thoughts come into
my head? I specifically avoided the wording "how thoughts are created" because this makes it to easy to
presume that we, as individuals, create the thoughts that we experience. I've been thinking about this
specific issue for nearly two years, and in that time have found no specific evidence that would allow me
to conclude that I create the thoughts that appear in my head. For all that I know, my brain is like a radio
receiver operating at a selected frequency, and consciousness [or my Higher Self in her service] feeds
me the appropriate thoughts at the appropriate time. My focus has been the examination of how far my
awareness extends. I see thoughts [or in my case, hear them] in the moment in my head. I know not from
whence they came nor to where they go after they leave my attention/awareness. Interesting.
15 Jul 95
Further, the sense is that this abundance is released by an idea, or a set of ideas, chief among which is
that:
when cooperation wages war against competition,

cooperation always wins.
Another key idea is that when individuals act collectively,

their effective force goes up algorithmically, not linearly.
Thirdly, consciousness runs this show. It always has.

However, many of the details are dependent on awareness achieved. When the awareness changes, the
reality changes shortly thereafter. So, you who would be a reformer of the world, get your ideas, the ideas
that consciousness expresses to you, to their intended audience. Be it via writing, or speaking, let others
know of the voice that consciousness has placed in your head. At this point, it matters not whether they
believe one iota of what you have to say. Soon enough, the events on your planet will cause people to seek
for one through whom VISION is being revealed. You are one of these, but there are many others on the
planet. Take one step at a time, and allow consciousness to guide your way as she has all of your life.
Actually, we say this as if you have a choice. At the superconscious level and subconscious level; and
even at the conscious level, you have already made the choice to align with us. We say us, but we are
ONE. Yes, the ONE from the back of your $1 bill. You generally refer to as consciousness herself, and
indeed we are feminine overall, a bit of The High Priestess wrapped up with The Empress.
16 Jul 95
65
7/16 = The Chariot:The Tower. It's interesting that per The Celestine Journal, the Moon conjunct Saturn at
7:41 PM is a time for a reality check. Now, how in the world am I supposed to check reality given where
my consciousness has been lately? Though 7:41, The Chariot:Ace of Cups is interesting in it's own right.
Watched The Hudsucker Proxy last night. It was quite good. Watched Black Robe again today. It was
selected #5 of Ten Best pictures of 1991 by Time Magazine. I'd seen it nearly a year ago, but wanted to
see it again. I was particularly amazed that the movie number was 84, The Lovers Exalted. It is not clear
that the spirituality offered by church had any real value. However, the main character Lafourge went
through quite a transformation, and eventually converted the Hurons to Christianity. However, the
resulting weakness led to the Hurons demise at the hands of their enemies within 15 years. The film
started in 1634, so the Hurons were wiped out around 1650. So, what are the global lessons in such
tragedies? For, surely there must be some. Perhaps it took such missionary work to see that our ways are
not necessarily the only right ones, and that even among supposed savages there is a dignity and
spirituality that transcends our way of thinking.
I had another thought cross my mind concerning 88 88 88 L. The thought was that L is as far as one
can carry this fourth element. The next letter M is 13 : Death, but also IVI= 40. Death of the
physical takes us out of this dimension or world, so is not to occur until one's worldly mission is
completed.
[4/8/98]
I find it curious that I am moved to reconstruct the Best of Notes for Jul 95, exactly on my 40 th
birthday! Especially, since this is the only file that got lost when I had service provider problems
coupled with a loss of data on a ZIP drive. There is a sense that this was not a coincidence. I am
doing exactly what I need to be doing right now. The timing is perfect for the allowing the meaning
of this particular message to enter my conscious awareness NOW.
The words have slowed dramatically, but they do continue to flow. I know not why they flow any better in
one moment than the next. I only observe that they do. Much of this has to do with the mechanics of
physical reality creation.
These ideas appear anew, never having been in this particular manner before because there was not a
vehicle in this particular state of awareness through which consciousness could pass the energy that I
am able to translate into these words.
Interesting. This is not true for me alone, but for all writers for all times. Rather, I would call the
collection of us scribes for we write what consciousness would have us write.
Through all time we have been there storytellers of the myths of old, before the age of writing, then
those who captured the sacred knowledge in stone, now those tied to word processors for hours on end
writing free form, trusting that what is being written has already been organized by consciousness
herself prior to it being expressed.
There is a definite sense that this material should simply be titled NOTES, for that is indeed what it is.
Reversing this we get SETON, interestingly close to SETH. I believe SET was the Egyptian God. It is
66
also interesting that SETON is so close in sound to SATAN. 15265 to 11215 are very different numbers.
The first has a sweep of 14:Temperence and is centered at 258, 5:28 from the center out! The second has a
span of 4 and is centered at 213 = The High Priestess Death. From the inside out, 1:23 = The Magician:K
of Wands. Spelling SATAN, I initially made a mistake and spelled out SATIN. This yields 11295 which is
interesting because it has a sweep of 84:The Lovers that begins with 2:11 = The High Priestess Justice,
and ends with 2:95 = The High Priestess: The Star Exalted.
[4/8/98]
Note that 2:95 = 925 from the center out. All the signs of the past two weeks point to this being the
state of consciousness that I have now reached.
It's interesting how 528 was the first number that caught my attention so vigorously, and that for nearly
two years it has been prominent in my spiritual unfoldment. I haven't bothered to factor it mathematically
before.
o 2 x 264
o 2 x 2 x 132
o 2 x 2 x 2 x 66
o 8 x 66 Strength : Q of Pentacles
o 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 33
o 16 x 33 The Tower : The Christ
o 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 3 x 11
o 48 x 11 Man in Search of More : Justice
Other manifestations.
o 22 x 24
o 6 x 88 The Lovers : Completion
No wonder this number is so significant to me! No wonder!
17 Jul 95
Not much time to write today either. It's nearly 11:30 already, and I've been busy all day. I've come to the
conclusion that it doesn't really matter. What happens happens. To a large degree, it is beyond my control.
Perhaps, it is completely beyond my control, I'm still investigating that. I found that there was a
Metaphysics Research Lab (MRL) at Stanford. I contacted it's director via E-Mail and basically got the
following response:
I'm sorry---I don't see any connection, given what you have said. The work that goes on in the MRL has
very little to do with consciousness, awareness, etc., or symbols per se. We use the axiomatic method to
build a precise conceptual framework. It doesn't look like you share that methodology and so it is hard to
collaborate when the parties don't share the same methods.
67
I wish I could be more encouraging, but we really don't think about the meaning of life here---that
question is just too deep. You might try a philosophy department that specializes in "continental
philosophy".
Interesting, "they don't think about the meaning of life. That question is just too deep." For me, such is
clearly not the case. That specific question is the major one that I came into this very existence to address.
My valedictorian speech from 20 years ago clearly shows that even then I knew. At that time, it wasn't so
conscious. But, I do recall a sense of mania throughout the semester in which I wrote that speech. I
worked for the math department and didn't take any courses at all in my final semester. Interesting. I
wonder how many other times I had manic experiences before being diagnosed as bipolar 2 years ago.
Also, why did my sister have to go through the emotional hell she's been through over her lifetime? Then
again, lot's of experiences are trying and challenging. It's not for me to know the specifics. Rather, at the
top level, one must trust that it is all necessary, that everything has been planned with precision and is
perfect in it's expression in the moment at all times. This doesn't necessarily make it easier to take, but
provides the opportunity for relaxing a bit. That's easy for me to say, but not so easy when one considers
those who are raped, killed, mugged, etc ... Why are such events necessary? Why?
WHY? That's the question that I am tasked to answer.
What is the purpose of existence? Bernie Ward is complaining about the people in Chicago who didn't
check on their immediate neighbors. In my film analogy, this is another episode in the Play. Yes, it's an
episode that tells us something about the attitudes of people toward their neighbors. The 300 or so who
died basically sacrificed their life to increase the awareness of a nation. I don't agree with what and how
Bernie is expressing himself, but the net effect is right. It's at least awakening people to open them up to
some of the characteristics that define the Aquarian Age. Change is happening. Further, it is happening at
a pace that will surprise the nation. We're at the bring of getting the citizenry to the point of being
outraged at both its government and those in charge of its economy. It's interesting to watch. However, I
sense that I will soon have a greater role to play than this. What and how remain to be seen.
The time is clearly here for the ideas, the VISION,

on which the Phoenix can arise out of the ashes.
ASHLAND, that is what Dr Adolfo told me that I would be creating.
How much of the world believes in the freedom of conscious choice? Actually, let's limit the question to
this country. My sense is the same number are deep in slumber. The thoughts or emotions that correspond
with actions are not necessarily causally related though we're never taught to question this. This does not
empower people however. There must be a way to present information in a manner allows them to more
smoothly transfer from their present belief systems to others more supportive of community. The bottom
line is we do experience reality in accordance with beliefs. This too is consistent with the play, because
the stimuli that result in the necessary mass belief changes will occur. This year, the weather seems to be
an instigator of belief change allowing many to experience the power that comes from a community of
people helping one another. In particular, helping one another during times of large disasters and being
chastised for not lifting a finger to help a neighbor in need. Interesting. How many events such as this
must occur for enough people to get the picture.
How many people are aware that we are in the midst of a masterfully crafted Play?
68
How many are aware that we are part of ONE consciousness, and that the United States has
a metaphysical destiny to fulfill in the times to come?
How long will I need to do my work alone? My sense is that this will continue to a large degree for all of
my days. However, I also sense that there will be some contact with important others albeit limited.
Interesting. This Hermit issue comes up a lot. The movie Black Robe comes to mind as well. My mission
doesn't involve changing anyone. It involves establishing the framework on earth that allows the Aquarian
Age to start to take hold. Why do I believe as I do? Why do these thoughts come through me? The only
answer that comes to mind is because my awareness is such that consciousness can push them through
me. How do I know that what comes through is true? I don't know for sure, not consciously anyway.
Sometimes they touch my heart, but otherwise utility and a general trust in consciousness are my main
guides.
Many people would consider my life quite boring. I work and write these notes. I think a lot, sleep a lot,
and watch several movies each week. I turned off my cable connection 2 years ago and have no antenna
so I do not watch TV other than movies via a VCR. I interact with very few people either at work or at
home -- say two handfuls at work, and one handful at home and that includes my wife. For the most part,
I am a loner, a Hermit. No, I don't live in a cave, but I come about as close as one can without actually
living in one. Further, even in the midst of a city, or a crowd of thousands, I an alone, in my own solitude.
Interesting. Such is my life. I observe that this is so. Further, it's been like this all my life. From this
observation, however, unlike what you might expect, I do not come out with any desire for change. I see
this as a characteristic strength and wait to see how this strength will be used in the times to come as the
Play unfolds.
Others would consider me crazy. That I can believe the ideas that come through these fingers would be
proof enough to them that I've gone off the deep end. I'd be the first to agree that what comes through
does not agree with the conventional belief structures. At the same time, as my wife would attest to, I am
extremely stubborn and strongly believe whatever I believe. However, I'm also open enough to change my
beliefs quite freely and quickly when new, more powerful, ideas come through from either inside or
outside sources.
Can we really be experiencing reality from the perspective of a character in a play whose lines and actions
have all been predetermined by us? This is crucial to my present understanding of reality, reality creation,
and the nature of consciousness. No, these are not subjects that concern most people. They're too busy
living their lives. Or, so they think at least. Awake or asleep? I would offer that most are the latter.
Thoreau was right after all. And, few more have awakened since his time. Very interesting indeed.
18 Jul 95
Overall, there seems to be a method to my madness. It's as if I'm in an outreach program right now,
looking for others like me, or who at least have some similarity in their experience of consciousness and
the resulting reality. It's interesting. I can see the overall patterns. The popular songs, the rhetoric of the
talk show hosts, politics as usual, greed, lack of cooperation and concern for one another.
It's as if individuals are powerless outside of their own personal worlds, and for most this
encompasses only their immediate surroundings, possessions, and personal life.
There is nothing in place to empower the collective so that each individual profits greatly. It's
right there, lying in unused potential and massive wastes of resources.
69
As to the outreach, I have no idea as to whether it will be successful or not. If it is, great. If it is not, great
as well. Either way, I learn what the universe, what consciousness, has in store for me now. I can continue
indefinitely as The Hermit, or I can start to work with others. My skills alone do not predispose me one
way or another. There is a leaning right now toward reaching out, that is all. Soon enough I sense we will
see what becomes of it. Actually, I've been putting feelers out for over a year now, but there is no sense
that anyone I've yet reached is ready to become involved in my mission to any real degree.
Interesting. It's truly reached the point where I accept whatever happens.
I have no right as spirit to intercede in what my particular spark of consciousness has co-
created as reality in this current Play of Consciousness that we call life.
As it is for me, so it is for all other sparks of consciousness or souls. The name of the game
is Self-Realization, and the ultimate Self-Realization is the awareness of one's place within
the ONE -- for we all fit together as the pieces of a puzzle.
The game is not necessarily an easy one. There are a lot of diversions and places to get lost within the
Illusion of lives over time in what we loosely call REALITY.
It's fascinating how these words get weaved together. They flow on and on and on, going who knows
where. Yet, I continue to sit and type, giving up, you might say, a significant portion of my life to this
task. I am compelled. It is what I must do. I have no sense of having any specific choice in the matter. As
with everything in my life, it just happens. There is no logic or reason necessarily behind it. Further, it no
longer matters to me that this is indeed the case, this is what I experience. At one time, my beliefs were far
different, but that seems like eons ago. Some might say this is a cop out. My wife, in fact, considers it the
ultimate cop out. Yet, I must live in accord with what I know to be true in my heart. Further, I use the test
of utility and the observation of the reality/illusion I find myself within as guidance as to the validity of
my way of looking at life. Am I a kook, or a crazy man? Perhaps. Yet, I would suggest that I have thought
through my position more than most and come from a state that is more aware as a result. The spiritual
awakenings of the past two years have contributed greatly to this as well. But then, it is not clear that
others would regard my experiences in such a fashion.
The bottom line through it all is that I have learned through direct experience that there is far more to
awareness and to consciousness than I had ever dreamed of before, despite reading over 1000 books on
various topics in metaphysics.
The major distinction came in an instant --

I went beyond thought to experience being aware.
Krishnamurti talked about teaching around the world for nearly half a century. His topic was this one
thing, going beyond mind. One of his major regrets as he approached his death was that he had not been
able to teach or impart this distinction to a single one of his many students. Don't think you understand it
because of what you read here. Though, these are the musings of one so struck through whom
consciousness now speaks more directly than she could before.
19 Jul 95
70
I observe what occurs including what I do, and lately what the country and the world experiences with an
intense curiosity. I attempt to place myself in the director's eyes to see how the myriad experiences are
truly coordinated at some level. Of course, the director is consciousness herself; so, this is a major stretch.
Yet, I am compelled to act in such a manner. Even at the awareness level I seem to be moved by events
and realizations that are beyond "my" control. That is, I have no sense of what it is that coordinates the
activities necessary to move me into these awareness states. It is not that I am on autopilot either, for that
assumes that I have an autopilot function that I can turn on to exert this control. The bottom line is that it
is not "me" doing this, at least not any sense of "me" that I currently know.
That gets back to the premise that consciousness herself exerts this control in my life. This is true not only
for me, but for all others as well. In this we are the same, as souls we are created equal. Interesting. Yet,
how many others would agree that this is indeed the case. How many would be so willing to accept being
manipulated in this manner, and essentially a lack of freedom and lack of choice within the domain of
space and time in which we live out our illusions?
On a positive note, however, there are many hints that the Aquarian Age is close at hand and a
corresponding major shift in the mass consciousness is about to take place. There is indeed evidence of
either great collaboration happening beneath the scenes, or more likely that events are marching in accord
with a Master Plan that is already laid out; possible to the last detail, though I'm still trying to find a place
for some amount of free will to enter, even if it only be that consciousness herself decided to make an
improvement or change of some type.
I'm tired now, waiting for my second wind. The lack of sleep last night didn't help. But, I feel that even in
this state, this communication is that important that it needs to take place -- and take place now.
Interesting that I should feel this way. But feelings are part of the plan as well. I observe as much as I can
these days. It seems, however, that the interpretation is automatic.
The conscious part of me is a student in school. There is still some remnant of an idea that it is supposed
to be responsible for interpreting physical reality, but it is also aware of the existence of other components
of Self that have greater insight and a higher perspective. The bottom line is that the conscious part has
bought what consciousness has expressed through these other than conscious parts, to the point where it
has lain down its personal will. At least such is how it appears. From another perspective there was no
will to be lain down. I still live in a belief system in which the Play is co-created by the Self or Soul in
advance of it's enactment. Within this structure, free will is absent, even though it appears to be alive and
well.
I'm learning the lesson of living in the moment. The past is done.
The future will be whatever it will be.
The only time in which we truly exist is the moment.
It appears that there are common constraints within the illusion, energy patterns that impact the ability to
reach the particular states of consciousness that permit this communication to occur in this manner.
Usually during the high throughput times I am flying -- moderately to highly manic. During several of
these times I have been compelled to spend more of my time on writing Notes. At these times,
consciousness does not care whether I am officially supposed to be working or not. It simply opens the
appropriate file and types away. For the most part, my work is such that no one knows what I am working
on at what times. I've always produced far more, higher quality work than my peers in an equivalent time
71
period, so my work patterns never generate any questions. When I'm really moving, I can generate more
in a day than most people do in a week. Yes, there is a strong sense of Ego in that statement. However, I
know it to be true. Further, others have provided specific feedback that clearly showed their amazement,
so it's not simply a personal opinion. Not that it matters. All the abilities were chosen in advance and were
developed in a particular manner to be used in exactly the way that they have been. Comparisons between
people have no real meaning.
The bottom line is that the abilities and talents of each individual should be
developed and applied in a manner that benefits society while enabling the
individuals to get their needs met.
Currently, we don't do this. Even in this country, over 100 Million people are not experiencing this. In the
larger world, this amounts to over 5 Billion. That's a hell of a lot of talent and ability to waste that under
the proper circumstances could be applied to great benefit of the society at large and in particular to
meeting the collective needs of individuals. We do have to reexamine what truly constitute needs, and this
may vary substantially from one part of the world to another -- but while the material needs may vary,
many of the needs will be similar. The economy needs to move towards providing quality services at
reasonable overall cost. Cost cannot be measured in dollars, however, it must consider the resources
required to produce the service and the true value of the service to the recipient.
What can one person do? One person can change the consciousness of the world, that's what? At first, it
came out as "one person can change the world". It is not the world that ultimately matters. Such is where
the illusion occurs, where the Play of Consciousness is acted out. It is the consciousness, the awareness,
of individuals in the world that ultimately matters. This is a school for self to learn of it's nature as Self
and ultimately of it's place within the ONE Consciousness. However, most people in the world are still
asleep, unaware that the reality they experience is actually no more than a dream. It's like an actor
forgetting who he is, and getting locked in the persona of a character he plays in a movie. The character is
real. Forrest Gump is real, even if only in a two hour movie. It matters not that there is no real human that
had the snapshots of the 30 plus years of experience that the movie portrays. Similarly, Capt Piccard, in
Star Trek: The Next Generation is real. He exists in over 5 years worth of episodes of the show. In fact,
many people know more about him than they do about people they interact with in their own lives.
Further, this is true of the characters on nearly all of the popular shows. Even more surprising, most
people know more about the characters in these shows than about the actors and actresses that play the
roles.
What makes us think that we are any different than this? What makes us think that we are anything more
than characters in a show that has been planned out in advance? Sure, there is some freedom of expression
within the Plan. We have some say in how we deliver our lines, and how we express emotion. But even
then, this is within some envelope of constraints. Awareness/ Consciousness riding atop a character in a
Play that occurs in "physical reality" -- how's that for a description of what we are?
So, what's the overall picture. The ONE Consciousness is in search of Knowing Thyself, through each of
us. We are not separate. There is no way that the ONE could ever break itself apart into pieces. However,
it could compartmentalize itself so that it's parts could come into greater awareness at a more focused
level, and as a result the whole would grow as well. Each part was flung out equally and left to seek
awareness on it's own. No specific school was available. This was an act of creation, but creation within,
creation in thought, which in turn was free to create within denser form. The ONE Consciousness created
the World as the infrastructure in which this school of awareness could operate. The compartmented parts
72
were expressed as souls, existing at several levels in every kingdom of the universe -- mineral, vegetable,
animal, human, earth, solar system, galaxy, universe.
Where is this coming from? It is not something that I have learned or derived from anything that I've
personally experienced. What allows such conjectures to come through? How do they even get generated
in the first place? This is easy. It comes from consciousness herself, period. I take no credit for it. Yes, I
helped to bring it through. Yes, my awareness is such that I am open enough to receive these ideas. But,
that is my sense of things. I receive these ideas, I do not generate them. I would go a step further and say
that it's not even an act of co-creation. That would be like saying that the radio I'm listening to is co-
creating the words that are coming out of it right now. This is simply not true. However, even the words
being typed right now are coming through in exactly the same manner. The inner sense is that the source
right now is less distant than the source in the previous paragraph. That's the first time I've expressed it in
this manner, but it is true. Locality of source is something that I am inwardly aware of. My normal
working self is very local, though even then, my experience is that everything is automatic. It just
happens. Further, I've been in situations for at least the past 11 years where I've been in the position to
define my own work. Until the last year or so, I assumed that I was defining it, and experienced it as thus.
Now, I know this is not the case. When I sit down to type a list of tasks, it just comes out. I am not
consciously aware of specific actions involved in the creation. Every aspect of my thought is like this.
Descartes was wrong! Being preceeds thought. Consciousness creates thought. I am consciousness. Yet, I
am not aware of the consciousness that creates the thoughts that I consciously experience. It's very
curious. I know that it exists from it's effects, but I do not experience it directly.
I wonder how many people have ever thought about how they think. In particular, how many have ever
asked where their own thoughts come from. Saying that they come from one's brain, a complex organ that
thinks is not a viable answer -- especially since the brain is so complex and so little understood. That it
serves as the physical seat for consciousness, is reasonable. But, it's limitations only permit a part of
consciousness to be expressed physically. Overall, however, there is far more potential there than has been
utilized. The figure that comes to mind is 4-5% utilization. Even the most aware beings on the planet
barely reached 10%. What a goldmine that lies untapped! Given how much the world has changed in the
past 50 years, and the massive problems that have resulted from this, tapping this potention is the only
place to go for a solution. The bottom line is that the changes have been so great that small deltas won't
fix the problems. We need major realignments throughout society. This requires rebuilding things from the
top down, not throwing out a few crumbs and praying that the situation goes away.
20 Jul 95
The words keep coming through. And, I feel compelled to play the scribe for consciousness to express as
she will. This is not from purely unselfish motives however, for I learn more from this process and the
information that comes through than I've learned from anything else. Here, I AM. Consciousness
experiencing consciousness herself in action through being self-aware, and through observing the
thoughts that this larger consciousness is able to express through my consciousness. Effectively, this is
what channeling is. However, most people are unaware that even their day to day character is channeled
as well. Then again, this is based on the conclusion that because I am not consciously aware of where my
thoughts originate, that others are not aware of where their thoughts originate either. I cannot know this to
be true for certain. I can only relate what I know from my own experience. Interesting.
Obviously, most people don't see the world through the glasses that I use. Actually, Bear, one of my dogs
ate my glasses a couple of years ago and I haven't bothered to replace them. My physical vision is a bit
73
fuzzy at times but as they say "good enough for government work". Overall, they were a bother anyway,
and it's only the distant stuff that is highly impacted. Back to the point.
74
I see the world in a very different way than most, seeing hidden meaning in symbols that
others don't even notice. Further, that most others would challenge even if they saw or
heard it explained.
There is no proof that the meanings that I come up with are real or valid. I accept them
out of a strong faith in the inner abilities of consciousness, whose results fill my mind with
thoughts and my heart with knowingness.
It's interesting that the mind is seen to be the seat of thought while knowingness is
reserved for the heart. But, it's been that way, for me anyway, all of my life. I've always
had this inner sense of knowingness centered in the Heart. Perhaps that's why I chose to
come through as
HARTMAN = HEART MAN

It's the sound vibration that counts, not necessarily the particular spelling. Wow. Addition of the "e" and
capitalization of the M makes the total for Heart Man = 25 + 19 = 44. 2519, also = BEAR, the name of
one of my dogs. The others name is FOOFER = 666659. Total = 38 = VISION. wayne ellis = 23 + 21 =
44 as well. wayne ellis Heart Man = 88. Reducing the H and M to lower case, decreases the sum by nine
to 79, requiring 9 = The Hermit for completion. How appropriate.
Once again, the question arises. Are these the ramblings of a lunatic? Clearly, I've moved beyond the
realm of logic and reasoning, yet, these tools are applied at times. Utility, that's the name of the game.
Logic and reason are useful, but so is intuition. Balance of the left with the right results in creations of
which neither side alone is capable. Yet, even balance can have it's ups and downs. It doesn't have to be a
straight line. In fact, it can even have extreme ups and downs so long as the two tend to cancel one
another. In my own case, the sense is that extremes have proven useful. However, looking back, I can see
how it took a great deal of preparation and programming by consciousness herself, to prepare me for the
state that I'm in now and the task of scribe that I am currently performing. My sense is that other tasks lie
ahead, and in the not to distant future. But, I am content now to take each day as it unfolds, and observe
what I am moved to do, and applying myself to that to the best of my abilities in each moment. I don't
know that I could do it in any other way. This way, however, my consciousness seems in sync with my
life. I am awake and aware, and this cannot be taken away -- for it has been acquired in realms beyond the
limits of the body; in particular, the realm of consciousness or spirit, the only realm that truly counts.
Interesting indeed. Yes, indeed!
21 Jul 95
Once again, I allowed much of the day to pass before getting to the task of writing. Then again, allowed
implies a sense of choice or control in the matter which is far beyond what I presently believe to be true of
physical life. Interesting. At least I'm at a point where I catch the inconsistencies, or more specifically
where consciousness is able to bring through thoughts that make me aware of such. Interesting. Being
aware of being aware. It sounds more complex than it seems. However, it involves a distinction of
75
consciousness that is extremely important. Further, it appears that this distinction only comes about
through an extreme experience of awakening. Suddenly, one is different than one was before. Explanation
of the distinction is difficult, but one knows that one has reached the realm of the gods, indeed that one is
God. At least such was my experience. Further, I remember the feeling as vividly now as when it
occurred. This was followed a little over a month later by an intense personal ritual in which I gave up my
personal will to do Thy Will, the Will of God or of Consciousness Herself. Looking back now, in reality
there was never anything to give up. I only thought I had a personal will that I directed to come to
fruition.
One of my co-workers called me a fatalist. And, indeed, such is the nature of my current beliefs about the
Play the we call life in this world. I believe that we co-create our reality, but that we do so as our Higher
Self, prior to this existence. In fact, we may map out whole series of existences at once to give us the
experiences and programming necessary to assume greater and greater roles in the Play. Self-Realization
is the chief purpose of the game. The ultimate realization being that we are truly part of the ONE
consciousness and have never been separated from it, except for the blocks, walls, and barriers that we've
put up within the Illusion.
A few things popped out [from the bill serial number check]. Several 70's and 72. The numbers from the
$5 were particularly meaningful. However overall, this process is losing it's importance somehow. The
numbers don't have the same meaning as they used to. The phrase that popped into my head is that I've
outgrown them in some manner. They were useful in showing my conscious self that the spiritual world
existed and could convey messages the symbols of our world. But since I saw the license plate 888888L,
everything has been different. It's as if I knew it but didn't really know it. However, I have transformed in
a very basic way that makes my relationship with the world very different. I don't know how to explain
just how yet. Or, my awareness is not presently such that consciousness can bring this explanation
through yet. Interesting. I have not experienced this particular problem in this manner before -- where I
was aware of a change, yet not ready for it's explanation. Then again, I've been dealing with being bipolar
and having to take some pretty potent drugs daily for nearly two years know, without really having a clue
as to what the drugs are really doing to my brain. Interesting. But, I have a complete trust in
consciousness, and in the concept that I (as Higher Self) planned out the details of this life as I'm
experiencing them for a reason. There are no accidents. When I see the doctor, and what gets prescribed
are already in the script so to speak. So is whether I actually take the drugs, and when I don't take them.
My sense is that they are necessary to allow my brain to reach the states in which this communication can
take place, and in which the realizations that I've experience can occur. It's as if they awaken parts that
were turned off. Actually, it seems they are being prescribed to control parts that would otherwise take off.
Both the Lithium and Depakote were prescribed to control the mania I was experiencing. The mania was
concurrent with my seeing the world in a new way, and in particular, seeing the spiritual world expressed
in symbols.
22 Jul 95
I wasn't aware that Sakharov was such a prominent physicist in the Soviet Union, or that he was so active
in working towards Peace in the world and human rights in his own country. Active enough that he was
awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his endeavors. He was clearly a man of conscience who acted upon
what he believed. It's interesting that the "Thoughts" he wrote from his consciousness had nothing to do
with his training in physics, and had everything to do with allowing spirit to move one to act in accord
with one's beliefs, regardless of the consequences. Many were sent to the Gulag as political prisoners,
76
essentially forced to live in isolation with nowhere to go. Interesting concept, prison without walls. The
sheer isolation was enough to keep the prisoners from going anywhere.
This comes back to the idea of life as a movie of Play. How much of the Illusion is predestined? Is there
any room left for free choice at all? Why am I even asking that question? From what I perceive, I cannot
distinguish between a world of choice and a world of predestination. The actions can be identical under
either framework, and I would sense them in the manner as appropriate. If I believe that I have free will,
then I interpret my perceptions as if such is the case. If I believe I am in a predestined Play, then I
interpret my perceptions not from the standpoint of why did I make this choice now, but why did my Self
make this choice for this point in the Play. From an awareness standpoint, these are very different
perspectives. I've only fully converted to the latter of the two over the past two years. I guess this makes
me a fatalist at Heart, though I fully believe that we create our own reality. Within the illusion, however,
We occurs at the Self or Soul level with the help of Consciousness herself. We don't create our own reality
each moment, except from the standpoint of enacting what has been preplanned. Interesting.
23 Jul 95
The Devil is illusion. It is Lucifer, and his belief that his being was equivalent to God's or even more
brilliant as it were. At 410 Monroe, I've had my experience as The Hanged Man exalted, and realized that
it is not me but consciousness(or God) through me that does all things. My separateness is self-imposed, if
you will. And I only need let go, and allow the Will of Consciousness to work through me to regain my
proper home in consciousness herself. Interesting. But, this realization required particular experiences to
manifest physically.
Now what? Notice how important 1162 was from this viewpoint as well, as was it's counterpart 832 that
led me to find it in 1994 to begin with. These variations, these new ways of interpreting the meaning of
numbers that were already important is unreal. I'm finding it difficult to contain myself. Consciousness
continuously revealing itself anew, showing that there is more to this world than I had ever imagined.
That's why the name, Beyond Imagination. And, that's why you Wayne, for it takes a special soul to be
awake enough to experience what we are sending your way and finding a framework in which to embrace
it without losing your sanity. You still have one foot on the ground, and we'll help to keep it that way for
awhile, though your sense of flying will be with you always. For once your consciousness has soared into
the depths of Self and returned, what you return with can never be taken away. Though, you'll find it quite
difficult to explain as well. We'll help in every way that we can. But, there are some things that just must
be experienced to gain any understanding of them. Take the medications, they keep you grounded.
Actually, you'll observe yourself taking them for the most part and skipping a time here or there. These
skips are minor adjustments. Most of the time you will be unaware of whether you've taken your
medications or not on those days. The effects of one dose are not enough to be truly noticeable to you.
Again, this comes across as if I have a choice in the matter. I don't perceive that to be the case at the
present time -- at least not for myself, and I suspect not for others as well. I do find it interesting that I
went from believing that we consciously create our own reality each moment, to a belief that we (as Self)
co-create our reality prior to living it. I believe now that the illusion is one grand Play or Movie in which
we as consciousness are attached to particular characters in the play, from whence we gain experiences
that ultimately lead to our realization.
24 Jul 95
77
I've seen two prominent times today. 4:28 = 7:56 and 7:55 = 528. Those are the only two times when my
attention was specifically drawn to the clock. It's getting to the point where I'm no longer surprised by it.
These numbers come up so frequently that it serves as an affirmation of the lack of randomness in such
events. The other possibility is that it is a sign that I am paying attention to a subtle voice inside me that
guides my conscious mind to be moved to see what spirit would have it see. Very interesting.
Listening to the radio is getting old. It is hard to take in a consistent flow of interpretation of information
when the root premises of the host regarding the nature of reality are so different than my own. However,
I have reached a point where I don't believe that I will find anyone in sync with my beliefs. At the same
time, I know that what I believe impacts my experience of what happens, but does not make a difference
otherwise. As to the Death penalty, it's amazing to me that a state or people can believe that it has a right
to kill. As one whose purpose is Peace, this applies not only to the present conditions, but during wartime
as well. We only need go back to the Declaration of Independence and the right of all people to life. I
don't recall there being any exceptions explicitly called out -- or even generally mentioned for that matter.
That we would allow the law to usurp this right is craziness.
My sense is that we have no understanding of what rights and what powers we truly have
collectively as a society.
When we act individually to an extreme,

we effectively weaken our collective power. As individuals, we can do little.
Aligned collectively toward any cause, we can do anything.
To begin with, we must truthfully identify who wields power in the country and the world at
this time.
The bottom line is that most of the power lies in the hands of a few.
If the movie Half Moon Street has any basis in reality, there is a group of approximately 5000 that control
the world, a good portion of these being Americans. Most World Leaders as well as the members of our
Government are not among the 5000. This controlling group chooses to operate from behind the scenes,
without drawing visibility to themselves. The 5000 allow the politicians to play their games, buying the
votes and legislation they desire to promote their business positions. Overall, the need to campaign and
the large number of dollars required to run a campaign invite Special Interest Groups and Corporate
Sponsors to step up and have their position supported in exchange for suitable donations.
None of this matters over all. It is just how the reality game is being played at the moment. Fortunately,
the game is mutable; the rules can be changed in a moment. Even minor rules changes can completely
alter the reality we experience. These changes occur naturally as part of the Play. Interesting. The Dawn
of the Aquarian Age will ride on one of these very changes. Further, it will occur in the near future. How
near? I do not know. However, my sense is that the remaining years of the century are going to involve
one hell of a roller coaster ride. What we consider to be important, and who is in power will have
completely transformed by that time. Nice prediction, but how do I know that it will be so? I don't, for
sure. However, why does it matter? Consciousness brings through what she will when she can. Most of
what comes through can neither be proved nor disproved. It will happen or it will not. In the moment, it
matters not which alternative is materialized.
The bottom line is that life is to be lived in the moment
78
with an eye toward the direction one is ultimately headed towards.
This doesn't apply to everyone. Some choose to walk backwards or blindfolded. I'm here, however, to
bring forth a Vision of what is to be, and then help in some way to "make it so" and bring it down to earth.
I know this in my Heart. I don't know that others have this same sense. Further, I know that most others
do not have this same sense.
It's interesting that violence, even extreme violence has become a real problem in society. Yet at what
point does the realization become great enough that Peace is allowed to reign supreme again throughout
our land. Actually, again, may be in error for it assumes that Peace ever comforted the land in this country
-- and, it is not clear that such has been true in our history. I have a tough time relating to violence. In
many ways, it is against my very nature. The voice of reason says one can do something when one sees
violent actions committed, especially against children. However, that's only true in a world of choice. One
of the saving factors may be that when the mass awareness is awakened to a problem, the Play is already
starting to manifest events in accord with the awareness. So long as people believe they are in conscious
control, they must also learn that they have responsibility as well. This is a spiritual lesson that comes
from experience.
Choice. Choice. Choice. This issue keeps coming up. How much, if any, conscious choice do we truly
have? Is reality a movie, a Play of Consciousness? Or, is it not? Even if it is a Play, how much of it is
predestined -- completed in detail in advance? The bottom line is that my current belief involves co-
creation of reality (by Self) in advance, prior to entering an existence or related series of existences. What
proof do I have for this? None. However,
I can resolve my entire lifetime of experience to date within this framework without
contradiction.
Currently, I find it useful to believe as I do. Call me a fatalist if you will. I'd rather be such, than falsely
believe that I am free to make choices which in truth I have already made at a Higher Self level. My
experience is that choices are made in my life. Sometimes they are accompanied by conscious arguments
for the particular choice. In the past, occasionally they were accompanied by strong emotions as well. In
neither of these circumstances did the concurrence of the reasoning or the emotions with the decision
mean that the relationship was causal. Now, I don't bother with reasoning or emotions in making choices.
Instead, I observe what happens in my life in an impartial manner where I can. I look at what the events
and experiences have to teach me. My sense is that I have some control of the focus of my attention and
awareness, but even then, conscious control is not really involved. My sense is more of being moved by
consciousness, and allowing myself to be moved wheresoever consciousness would move me.
Many people might call my life lonely and boring. I can understand how they might come to such a
conclusion. I have reached a point where serving consciousness and achieving my purpose for being are
all consuming activities in my life. Literally, nothing else matters to my awareness. Of course, achieving
one's purpose requires finding out the details of what that purpose is. Yes, I have a wife and two dogs, and
a few family members that I care about. However, these are all secondary to serving consciousness. These
notes are one of the ways in which this service is carried out. I still subscribe to the idea that thoughts
come from consciousness. I take no credit for their creation. My abilities appear necessary to bring the
one's through that I am able to express. However, my sense is that all thoughts come from the same source
consciousness. This is not just all good thoughts, but all thoughts. That's an interesting distinction.
Consciousness is responsible for both the good and the bad in the Play, where consciousness includes the
sparks that are our Higher Selves.
79
25 Jul 95
I write because I am compelled by consciousness to do so. The thoughts fill my head and I translate them
into the form that you see. Yet, I am more than a trained monkey. These particular thoughts could not
come through in this manner to anyone. This is one task that requires my unique talents, skills, and
abilities. Further, it is a task that I do for the sheer joy of doing it. At present no one pays me for my time.
I receive no compensation for the writings that come through, other than the increase in awareness and
Self-Knowledge that the material brings about. And yet, my needs are met through a job that pays well
enough to cover my share of the bills, yet demands only that I use the same skills that I would use anyway
in my own pursuits -- or better yet, in the endeavors that consciousness would have me pursue.
The waiting game is trying. I'm becoming impatient with it. On to more glorious things. We have a new
world to build. We have castles in the air ready to be brought down to earth as soon as the proper
foundations are made ready. My heart pounds wildly just thinking of what is to come. Yet, there is
something gnawing at my back. Why did I personally come and elect to play this particular role? There is
a sense that I am not yet fully remembering whom that I AM. It's as if there is something still blocking my
way; something between where I presently am and where I need to be to carry out my destiny. This too
will pass at the appointed hour. The recognition that it was there alone will lessen its impact. Of what is it
that I speak? These words come through me but they are not mine. It is interesting to allow the process to
unfold. Can I turn it on and off? No, this would require a level of choice that I don't believe I or anyone
else for that matter has. How is it that I can sincerely question things which to most people appear
obvious. I can only answer that I am not most people, and in thinking about these things deeply, I have
found them to be far from obvious. Further, in cases where the nature or behavior was obvious, it usually
differed greatly from commonly held notions.
Can it all truly be one vast Play in which everything is predestined? Every action, every line, every
thought, every emotion. Can it all be planned out in such detail? And, if it were, how would we know?
How could we become aware that we were more than the character in the Play, we were the
consciousness, the Self, the Soul who co-created the character and it's role. We built the scripts and even
directed the shooting of the Play. However, at some point we entered, possibly at multiple points at once
for the Self is not limited to linear experience. One of the key goals throughout is to make the character
within aware that equating one's identity with the character being experienced is highly limiting. Freedom
comes from going inside and finding the roots of consciousness therein. One must awaken to become
alive. One must awaken to be free. Yet, the Play goes on, incarnation after incarnation, century after
century, millennia after millennia and the masses remain asleep awaiting one who can open their eyes to
see and ears to hear a world embedded in their current world, yet hidden from those insist that reality is
what they presently perceive, when all that they truly perceive is illusion. Interesting.
I find it curious that my mind -- no, my very being escapes into this endeavor. I have no goals, no hopes,
no dreams. And perhaps, no fears. Though, spiders and snakes still get to me. Further, I can't imagine life
motivated by such things. Tis enough to fly, and ride the wings of consciousness to wherever they will
take me. How is it that I can live my life in such a manner? It is as if I were carefree and irresponsible.
Yet, I sense that the very fate of the world is in my hands. It's an awesome feeling. However, it carries a
great responsibility as well. Fortunately, I know that to whom such tasks are given, their capabilities are
more than sufficient to meet the demands of the task, though this doesn't necessarily mean that it will be
easy or that the outcome will be what appears to be right. The trick is in the appearance. The outcome is
assured. The Play is already completed. Appearance, however, lies within the illusion in the eye of the
beholder.
80
Don't worry about appearances, seek the reality.

And, seek inside thyself, for only there can reality exist.
We choose our words carefully, but we choose them differently than the one
through whom we communicate this message.
Interesting. What more can I say? Consciousness continuously amazes me in these Notes. We write and
write and write. The source seems inexhaustible. Yet, there is something within me that says there is more
to do. I see the words and a few others, but the sense is that many others are supposed to be exposed to the
words as well. It will be interesting to see what comes to pass.
Once again, I must ask, are these the musings of a madman? Have I lost my mind? Did I really ever have
it in the conventional sense. I found the Seth material the summer between my Sophomore and Junior
years in High School and I have definitely not been the same since. Metaphysics became the one true joy
in my life, the one thing that I could talk about and think about without end. Yet, a key result was a belief
system that include many things that most people would consider strange at the very least, and in some
cases outright wrong or crazy. I've had 20 years in which my mind has been exposed to the greatest ideas
the world has ever known, though many might categorize these ideas quite differently. It has been a
strange mix: a strong informal education in metaphysics coupled with a strong formal education in math,
science, and engineering culminating in an MSEE from Stanford. Yet, from my vantage point now, the
informal education was the invaluable one. It is literally priceless. The other could be bought for dollars
and time and had no lasting value. In fact, much of the material taught is now antiquated and outdated
even though my degree is but 10 years old.
Note: even when the material moves to the personal, there is still no direct sense that I am generating it.
There is a slight sense of the locality being closer, but that is all. It still comes through automatically. Why
this is so, or how it can be remains a mystery. I accept it for what it is and go with the flow to the degree
that I am able. I'm still fascinated observing a process in which words are coming through me, essentially
complete, as I participate and watch. It's strange, but there is a constant curiosity as to what will come
next. I spent 35 years in input mode, taking in the ideas of others, mainly from metaphysical books. Then,
all of a sudden, I have this awakening experience and become aware of more than I have ever been aware
of before. The dam bursts, and a flood of writings start coming out through me. I know them to come
from consciousness herself, but it takes many months to develop a new framework for reality sufficient to
address my experiences. And now I write, or more accurately serve as a scribe for consciousness. More
and more, I sense that this role is a familiar one that I have played before -- in another time and place,
Egypt comes to mind.
26 Jul 95
The month winds forward day by day, and these notes march onward letter by letter, word by word, idea
by idea to who knows where. Though I know what I write is already written in the void. I bring it forth to
the screen and page at its appointed hour, but it is written long before I bring it forth. Interesting. I don't
recall this being expressed in this way before. But then, consciousness is not to be boxed into any set
means of expression. She brings forth through me exactly what needs to be said; not one word more or
less.
81
I have no choice in forcing the pace. I am playing out a role that has already been planned, including this
writing. Suppose for a moment that it were not such and I could set a goal to finish with 80 pages this
month specifically so that the cumulative total would come out to 888. I would also need the free will to
expend my energies toward that goal, and would need the discipline and will to choose to stop when I'd
reached the desired page count. This is not how I experience things. This writing doesn't come through
every time that I sit down. Further, it's rate is not constant. Further still, it is not within my power to stop it
when it is coming through. It flows until it is complete. At some level, of which I am not aware, I agree to
provide the scribe service. When and for how long are not known to me when the service is engaged. In
fact, sometimes the notes come through during normal work hours. During these times, my sense is that
this is what I am compelled to do, and I have no other choice in the matter. In addition, I find this process
and the material that comes through so fascinating that I wouldn't think of stopping it unless I had to. And,
in my world, "have to" only happens when the Play so dictates. Interesting.
So, what is next? And, does it really matter? I'm resigned to the fact that the Play dictates what will
happen and when. What free will, if any, that we have lies in how we interpret what happens. Reality lies
in the domain where meaning reigns. This is not the domain of appearances in which the Play occurs. The
struggle is to find one's way out of the illusion into the real. This only happens via an inward journey in
search of Self. Interesting.
So long as we are focused outside in the world, we are caught up in the illusion.
This does not mean that life has no purpose. On the contrary,
Life is the ultimate school or training ground in which We, and Higher selves planned out
the experiences that would temper us and guide us to the realization of our true nature as
spirit, and more importantly as an inseparable part of the ONE.
Why is it that I so tenaciously believe whatever my beliefs are at a given time. From an awareness
standpoint I believe it's because I know that beliefs are the playground through which we experience
physical reality (the illusion). My Aries nature is another indicator, bringing in a stubborn streak. Yet, if
you look at my belief system over time, it does not stay constant very long. In fact, the only thing constant
about it is the strength or resoluteness of it. Interesting. Yet, I have no problem changing a belief or a
whole group of beliefs in a moment if I come to the conclusion that they are more useful than my own.
Fixed, yet flexible. That seems to be a contradiction. Open, yet closed -- a contradiction as well. However,
such contradictions only seem so looking from the outside in. From my inside out perspective, there are
no contradictions. I see myself as firm, flexible, and open. At the same time, I understand how others
would have a much different picture in interacting with me. I find it difficult to understand how anyone
exposed to the range of my beliefs and the rate at which they change to judge me as anything other than
open, but I've learned that I cannot live my life in accord with the judgments of others. There is a higher
judgement imparted by spirit to which I am subject. Channing talks about this in the terms "which feels
itself accountable to a higher tribunal than man's". Yet, I've not yet met another who actively advocated
this position. It's interesting, because this was one of Channing's prerequisites for calling a mind free.
Not two feet above my monitor is another quote in this same series: [William Ellery Channing]
I call that mind free which jealously guards the intellectual rights and powers,
which calls no man master,
which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, which opens itself to light
whencesoever it may come,
which receives new truth as an angel from heaven,
82
which, whilst consulting others, inquires still more of the oracle within itself,
and uses instructions from abroad not to supersede,
but to quicken and exalt, it's own energies.
It's hard to believe that this could have been written over a century ago. From my standpoint, it's as true
today as it was when written. The sad part is that I sense the number of people who truly understand and
value what Channing has said is very small -- perhaps small enough to count on two hands.
Thinking in new ways. Getting away from the cause/effect trap. These are crucial to getting an overall
picture of reality. It's not that the tools are invalid. They have their utility. But, one must be crafty in how
one applies the tools. If it were easy, the spiritual world would have been discovered and mapped long
ago. However, limiting beliefs have controlled the rate at which spiritual unfoldment occurs within the
play. It doesn't take much searching to find ludicrous examples of predictions or pronouncements from
scientists, technologists, Ph.Ds, and M.D.s. Most of the time these involved declarations of things that
were impossible based on supposed logical reasoning from premises that were "obvious". The bottom line
is that there is far too much that we do not know, especially regarding consciousness and how we as spirit
are connected to bodies for expression in this physical world.
So, why are there 5.5+ Billion people in the world at this time? Especially when the quality of life of 4+
Billion of these people is so bad as to be incomprehensible. What is this supposed to be showing us? At a
crude level, the lesson is one of being responsible for control of one's population, and living within the
boundaries of one's environment. But, there is a larger lesson as well, for the impacts of the large
populations of undeveloped countries and developing countries are felt globally. The web is connected
now. We are no longer isolated in the manner of the past. Further, this phenomenon is recent and appears
to be getting worse at an unreal pace that cannot be supported much longer. But, what happens then. What
turns can the Play take?
One possibility is some type of major change that causes a large population decrease. We see this happen
with every other creature on the planet. In the animal kingdom, population's are controlled within ranges.
It seems that humans have escaped this law in the past several decades. The sense is that it is time for a
major correction.
Looking out at the world, it is difficult to believe that the Dawn of the Aquarian Age is nigh. Who knows
how many armed conflicts are in progress in addition to the civil strife in former Yugoslavia. The United
Nations seems to be far from able to secure and keep the peace. Hell, the weren't even able to protect the
few safe havens that had been established. So, what choices are there. Leave and let them fight it out if
that is what they want. Stay and use this as the example that says Peace is the only acceptable answer.
Find a way to equitably resolve your disputes without resort to violence. The United Nations should be
the representative body for the collection of nations, just as the United States represents the collection of
states in the union. We must remember, however, that Cities, Counties, States, Nations, and the United
Nations are really the collective voices of the people that the represent. At the United Nations level, we
need to agree as the people of the world that we will not allow groups of people at any level to use
violence or aggression against other groups of people whether within a nation or between nations.
Individuals are reluctant to give up "their freedom" and "their ability to choose". Part of the problem is
that we don't teach people the value of exercising their freedom by choosing to belong and participate in
groups wherein their needs can best be expressed and addressed. This cannot and will not happen by
individuals operating alone. We need to realize that the only way for individuals to effectively exert their
powers is collectively. It is extremely hard for one person to do anything -- that is unless you are Bill
Gates, Ross Perot, or a few hundred others. The rest of us have a real voice only when we get enough
83
people together such that the collective voice has the impact to sway our representatives. It seems so easy.
But, it is not happening. The Play has not yet brought us to a time where common unity becomes a driving
factor in human affairs. The sense is that the conditions are such that we are on the brink of a revolution.
But, the time is not yet right. The leaning is too far toward the right when it needs to be at the other
extreme. One possibility is that the Play needs to take us through a short experience of the far right to
show us that not only does it not work, it makes things far worse. I say short because that's all we really
need to "get it" and move on to something that can really work.
Something's missing, however. Per Ruth Montgomery, the next President will be a "walk-in" that is
spiritually evolved enough to take us into the new millennia and possibly into a new age as well. I don't
see either Bob Dole or Bill Clinton fitting this description, yet those in the know now appear to see this as
a race that Dole has wrapped up unless something stupid should unravel. Per Duane Garrett, Clinton's
hopes are slim to none, as would be true for any Democrat. The only thing that might cause a major
wrinkle is a Third Party Candidate. My knowledge is limited here. It will be interesting to see what
unfolds in the next two years.
This has a personal impact as well. Much of my spiritual work involves envisioning, then building a real
society. The government needs to be an effective arm of society. Presently, it is not clear that the
government truly serves us. It definitely does not serve us well. Much of this is due to the rules of how the
game is played. The awareness of the problem appears to be reaching a critical mass, to the point where it
is time for something to be done. Exactly what will be done will unfold as the Play unfolds.
Language itself is in the midst of massive change for me. How beliefs and ideas are worded makes a great
difference. It is starting to become more and more obvious as to what premises underlie a particular way
of expressing something. In these notes, it is not clear how consciousness expresses the ideas. My sense is
that there is some interface where the energy that consciousness is attempting to express is translated into
ideas and thoughts that get expressed in these words. I don't believe that every word is spelled out. Local
processes handle that, and handle corrections on the fly due to typos. However, how does this fit with
fatalism and the idea that everything is decided in advance? Under strict fatalism, every letter, every
keystroke including corrections, all of it happens per the script of the Play. Hard to believe? Yes, however
the truth is that I observe it all -- without having any conscious awareness of creating it in the moment.
My awareness can only observe. I have not yet learned what it takes to create. I observe creation daily.
Further, I see that it is coming through me. But, it is a major leap to conclude that it is coming from me.
My awareness of "I" does not stretch this far. Further, I have no reason to believe that it can while I am
physical, except for the few examples such as Buddha and Jesus. Even then, it is not clear that they
created the miracles associated with them. The Play could have been rigged, just as we get special effects
to happen in a movie. I'd prefer not to deal with things beyond my personal experience and awareness. At
this point in time, I have no awareness of an ability to create. Thoughts come as close to being original
things as I deal with. However, I've already explained that I have no conscious awareness of where
thoughts come from. In particular, I have no conscious sense of originating these thoughts.
So, life goes on. I write and I observe what happens in my mind, my life, and the limited part of the world
around me of which I am aware. For all that I see on a day to day and week to week basis, my
environment is very limited. If you were filming a movie of my daily life, the bulk of my time is spent in
two settings -- here in my office facing my computer monitor, and upstairs at home sitting in front of the
TV where I watch videos which sits a few feet to the right of my home computer monitor. Interesting.
Writing for work is as automatic as note writing is. The ideas pop into my head in the same fashion. In
many cases, they are new ideas. Rarely do I consciously use reference works. I have no clue as to what
structures previous information has been placed into or how it is recalled from these structures to be used
in new ways. I observe that this happens, and that I seem to be much better at the kinds of tasks that I do
84
than most others. The primary skill involved is bringing through new perspectives that provide a better
understanding of the big picture. For work, this involves a system called the AFSCN. For spiritual work,
this involves the nature of consciousness and the nature of reality. The basic skills required in the tasks are
identical.
27 Jul 95
I can never predict what consciousness has in store. I wouldn't even care to try anymore. What will be,
will be. "Que sera, sera" per Doris Day. Fatalism. It's hard to believe that one so immersed in the ideas of
the new age could embrace such a philosophy so completely. Yet, all that I truly know is that I am
awareness, apparently attached to this body for an earthly sojourn.
As awareness, I observe, but I have no conscious knowledge of creating or doing anything. I watch
things happening and attempt to find the meaning that they hold, but I have no conscious awareness of
directing the things that happen to happen.
I have no conscious control over the thoughts that I experience either, nor the memory processes, nor
hundreds of other things that allow day to day life to manifest on earth.
I find it interesting that this is so. All the more interesting, because by conventional standards, I am highly
intelligent and highly educated. If education does not teach us about such basic things as these, something
is sorely lacking. Yes, indeed. But, my informal education in metaphysics wasn't much better. It took a
dramatic awakening experience to see things in the manner that I do now. This is not something I
recommend for everyone. I was on very shaky ground for several months following the experience.
Nearly two years later, I've still not found anyone that truly relates to what I went through. Not that I've
searched very hard. I trust consciousness. I know that the Play will bring forth such contacts if and when
they are needed. I've accepted my role as The Hermit, observing that my entire life has fit such an
archetype pattern. I don't know at this point whether this pattern will ever change. I can envision doing
my spiritual work in a number of ways -- most of which include The Hermit playing at least a prominent
role. I have become so used to solitude, even in the midst of a crowd, that it seems to be an essential part
of my nature. It is what permits the focus to allow this very expression to take place. However, over the
past two years I've seen that The Hermit is only one of a cast of many characters that I have available to
call upon in my work. You might say that I have the entire Tarot to work with. However, within that
system there are particular cards that appear to be special -- either because they call out to my Heart,
correspond to other key symbols, or simply show up a lot in my life.
I forgot that I started the day by writing. It's only fitting that I should conclude the day that way as well.
My work productivity has been at a peak all week. I'm too burned out to start anything new, so I might as
well turn myself over to an endeavor that stirs my soul as no other. Yes, that is what these notes are all
about, documenting the experience of a soul in the midst of a great spiritual transformation. In the midst
has been over two years to date. Somehow, I think it will continue throughout the rest of my time in this
existence. Why? Because such is what is required to accomplish the tasks that I came to do. But, I have no
choice per my belief system. Such is true. However, it doesn't change the fact that I will have to undergo
great spiritual change as I experience my life unfold. I still believe I have no choice. This includes not
having the ability to change anything about the experiences. The bottom line is that I will experience
exactly what the Play calls for me to experience, nothing more and nothing less, with the possible
exception of the awareness that comes from my endeavors to interpret the meaning of my existence and of
85
existence overall. These are the questions that vie for my attention. It is here that I focus. You might even
say live. Interesting.
It's strange not seeing the world outside my building at work and my van except for a few minutes in the
evening and morning on the two days when I stay overnight. I basically spend 15 hours/day on Mon and
Wed tied to my computer terminal and screen. It is my essentially my world. It is quite interesting that this
is so, but not surprising in the least. It does mean that I spend more time thinking and more time directly
connected to consciousness than most. It also means that I observe the workings of my mind -- and the
state of my awareness far more than most. Yet, even with that, my conclusions is that I am not consciously
aware of how any of this takes place. I have some theories. However, none of these involve any notion of
conscious creation of thought. Interesting indeed. How could one question something as basic as the
thought process? I would turn that around and ask how could one not question something as basic as the
thought process. From my perspective, I observe thoughts, I do not think them. Given that my thought
process seems to be more refined than most, I can't imagine how others might experience this differently
if they truly examined the process.
It's interesting living from a fatalist standpoint and observing how often the common way that we express
things has a hidden bias or assumption that we live in a world where we are free to make choices. This is
so ingrained into our very identity that we have a hard time seeing things in a different light. Some might
even consider such to be darkness. Yet, there is great strength in knowing that one has co-created the
reality that one is experiencing -- and that one did so from a Higher Self perspective for one's greatest
good and the greatest good or all whom which one deals. This requires great faith and trust in
consciousness. However, the return is a sense of serenity and peace that is nearly unbelievable. We truly
live in a perfect world. Everything has been masterfully planned to the finest detail. This does not mean
that the perfection is static, rather it is highly dynamic. What it does mean is that given the prevailing
awareness levels of individuals, the illusion is exactly what it needs to be to drive the winds of change in
the direction of increased spiritual unfoldment and expression.
How can I know these things? I'm only 37. I've had very little interaction with others in the world. How is
it that such wisdom as this could flow through me? Then again, there are probably many who would call it
rubbish. Yet, who are they, and what do they know? The stuff I write of is not taught in any school or in
any book of which I am aware. For much of it, I really have no clue as to where it comes from or whether
it is even right. It comes through, period. The sense is that it is not fiction, though many might question
that as well. Consciousness brings forth what she will. This is not a fast process. On average, I write about
1 page per hour. As of the end of last month, there were 808 pages of notes over the course of 20 months.
That's an average of just over 40 hours per month, though the highest month was three times that. This
doesn't include reading time for reviewing the notes, or all the thinking time for processing related ideas
that aren't recording.
Thus far this has been a

LABOR OF LOVE.
I do it because I MUST. I am compelled by a force that I have no control over.
This is simply what I DO.
86
It is part of my MISSION IN LIFE.
Further, the PROCESS and the material has taught me more than anything
else in my life to date.
87
BEST OF NOTES
AUGUST 1995
Much of what I do is mark the territory of consciousness itself.

It is one of the few uncharted territories.
Oh, there have be a few who have found ways to journey here and there.
However, it is time for a much more thorough and disciplined exploration.
88
BEST OF NOTES #22

1 Aug 95
It's easy to understand how physical laws keep things in their respective places. Similarly, there are
spiritual laws that do the same in a different domain. Yet the result is the same, a predestination from
which we cannot escape. But, what about chaos, the stuff that provides the uncertainty factor that keeps
science on it's toes? Is there the equivalent is a metaphysical or spiritual chaos wherein free will might
make it's appearance? Perhaps, but I don't have a clue about chaos as science sees it.
The song from Pocahontas, Colors of the Wind, by Vanessa Williams was the number 1 song on the Adult
Contemporary chart once again. It's a beautiful song, with a wonderful melody, but the words are difficult
to remember. One of the things that I find most interesting is that the Disney songs are coming through
with deep spiritual messages. For instance, in this particular song their is a line "you think that you can
own the land you land on". The way that it is stated makes it obvious that this is not the case -- which
brings up the whole issue of property ownership and property rights. These are things that we've taken for
granted for a long time. From an ecology standpoint, another couple lines "How high does a sycamore
grow? If you cut it down, how will you even know?" Also, "every rock and tree and creature has a life,
has a spirit, has a name." These are deep metaphysical pronouncements being heard be millions of people
in this country multiple times. And, this is just one popular song. Earlier this year, Elton John had two
different songs from The Lion King that hit the top of the charts as well and stayed there for many weeks.
One dealt specifically with the "Circle of Life" and the idea that "one should never take more than one
gives." It also expresses the guiding principles of several major spiritual paths before it come to this final
principal. As I recall, the other song was called "I Believe in Love." It's still in the top 10 after spending 6-
8 weeks at #1 and then working it's way down slowly. That such songs have gained such prominence
indicates that the tide has turned and revolution is close at hand. It's as if the mass consciousness is being
prepared for something. Yet, most are unaware that they are indeed being programmed. Programmed for
what? The bottom line is for living life in community and service. The ME generation is about to become
the WE generation. The resulting change will send a shock wave round the world. The changes to come
are mind blowing, truly beyond imagination. And, they are extremely close at hand. Interesting.
ME = 135 = 1:57(78) = 1:52(83) = 1:51(84) = 1:47(88) WE = 235 = 3:01(78) = 2:69(83) = 2:67(84) =

2:59(88)
The difference between the two is exactly 100 = 1:22(78) = 1:16(84) = 1:12(88). That WE is 3:01, the first
year of The Empress cycle. Interesting. WE are also my first two initials and their sum total 23 + 5 = 28,
The Man with the World in His Hand.
So, when is 1776 + 228? That would be the year 2004, one year before the year my birthday falls on
Easter Sunday. Curious. There is a shiver running down my spine again. I know that there is something
wondrous that must be in place by that time. Exactly what, I do not know, but the shiver is a sure sign that
something of great importance will occur. It will be interesting to see just what that is. I sense that we're
coming on a time when it is necessary for my VISION to grow that I may pass on what I see and
experience to others. As if the changes weren't happening fast enough already. It seems that everything is
up in the air -- a house for sale, work that basically ends in 8 months, weekly if not daily changes on the
consciousness front. And here I sit in peaceful bliss knowing that everything is already complete and
decided. I only need await its enactment and what will be will be exactly what is needed at the time.
89
Consciousness operates out of perfection. Everything happens in accord with spiritual law. And, spiritual
law says that consciousness creates reality. A minor point often neglected is that this truth applies to the
Higher Self not the conscious one that is currently experiencing life here on Earth.
652 = 8:36(77) = 8:28(78) = 7:64(84) = 7:36(88) = 7:29(89) = 7:15(91)
652 = 2 x 326 = 2 x 2 x 163 That's as far as she goes. 163 is prime. But what happens when we reverse
things to get a spiritual perspective. 256 = The High Priestess : Balance/Justice. However 256 also = 16 x
16 = The Tower squared. Now isn't that a kick. That also explains why the number would have such
meaning to me. Further this is 2 to the 8th, a glorified way of expressing 28:The Man with the World in
His Hand.
2 Aug 95
On the way into work I noticed that the Scitor building just around the corner from my work near the
Versatel machine has address 256. How's that for coincidence. It's as if everything in my world has
meaning, but there is a time for that meaning to be revealed. It doesn't come be searching intently for it. In
fact, at times it seems that the more effort one expends, the further from the truth one gets. It's curious that
this would be so, but such it is.
Talked to Tom F. a bit about Determinism vs Free Will. It's a classic philosophical and religious issue that
lies completely within the realm of belief. There is nothing objective to prove the case one way or another.
Further, there is nothing subjective that has been convincing. Actually, it only matters to the few people
who have thought deeply enough for this to become an issue in their personal lives. Here is where I stand
now. Ready and willing to face and embrace the unknown with open arms. For, there is truly now other
way to live that makes sense. Consciously, I know of nothing that I truly control. Nothing. At another time
that would have been frightening. Now, it is a simple statement of fact, subjective though it may be.
Such is the reality that I live within. I believe this to be the case for others as well, only they lack the
awareness that this is so. Yes, it is very audacious of me to speak in this manner, especially given my
predisposition to The Hermit nature and avoidance of people. Yet, I speak from my heart in the only way
that I know how. Consciousness fills my head with the energies that get translated into these words. It is
to her that I bow, not to any mortal being. Though, this same consciousness within me is within all others
as well. To that spirit, I bow, when I use the term Namaste. Interesting that this would be so, ONE
consciousness at the center of all existence. Yet, I still experience myself as an individual, as separated
from others most of the time. However, on a few occasions their have been moments of much greater
awareness of a Self that encompasses more than time and space and stretches into the very hand of God,
or bosom of consciousness herself. I remember two such times distinctly, highly manic times, but times
when I knew that I was Buddha and I was GOD. I was completely convinced, without any doubts to the
contrary. Even now, two years later, these events are vivid in my recall.
What is there about reality that makes us believe that our personal experience is true for others and in
particular is the norm, or true for most others. I know that my experience of the world does not fit this
mold. Checking serial number of money, license plate numbers, addresses, balances of bills, and various
other numbers using semi-mathematical methods does not constitute logical thinking. This is clearly not
where most people look to find meaning in their world. But, it is where I look. First, because I am
compelled to do so as if by an irresistible force. Second, because it is incredible how often such methods
reveal important meaning not only for my life but for the world at large. The musings of a crazy man? So
long as I can keep the presence of mind to continue asking that question, there is some hope that my
90
sanity is still in tack. Though, at this point, it matters not to me whether it is or not. I know that the
connection with source consciousness is firmly established. With this linkup, my role in the Play is set,
my destiny will be fulfilled that the larger objectives of consciousness may be achieved. Do I live my life
or do I watch my life being unveiled before me? Am I consciousness, or am I physical, or in some way am
I both? Interesting questions. However, the answer is obvious -- I am consciousness expressing through
physical form in this space/time continuum. I will express so long as I have something to express or
something to learn and then I will go back to being consciousness planning it's future expression in space
and time. The major issue is awareness and how to extend awareness as far as possible in this existence,
for the degree of awareness directly impacts the degree to which consciousness can express within the
physical. --- A bit of a break in which to do the work for which I am paid. But now, it's my time and I can
do the work which I most love to do. Service to consciousness. That's probably as close of a descriptor as
I can apply at this time. How that will transform in the days, months, and years ahead remains to be seen.
However, my sense is that the truth will be far stranger than any fiction. The words from my Valedictorian
address come to mind "The time has come for a revolution, an intellectual revolt against present trends of
thinking and being." It's especially interesting because I recall something recent that dealt with
dramatically changing out way's of thinking and being. It struck me at the time that those specific words
were used. It's also interesting that this would happen 19 years after I spoke them, though I know that
even then, I was but a spokesman for a deeper source within me or which I was yet consciously unaware,
even though the intuition was sufficiently developed to allow the information to come forth and to move
me to speak in the manner that I did.
However, then as now, I felt misunderstood, or unheard. I speak/scribe through these notes and pass them
out to a few people, but there is little to no feedback from anyone on anything. It's almost as if I'm
speaking a foreign language. Perhaps that is more true than even I know. For words to convey a meaning,
there must be a basis or framework for understanding. In this case, I barely understand what is being
written, and it is coming through me. How can I expect others to do the same, especially if they come
from different spiritual and metaphysical backgrounds.
The bottom line is that spirit occupies the prominent place in my life. It always has and always will.
Everything else pales in comparison. Obviously, there are many for which this is not true. In fact, there
are few for which it is true, and extremely few for which it is so true. Of course, I would naturally
gravitate in this manner given my makeup.
I speak a lot from the first person. For the most part, that is all I really know. My experience with
relationships with others -- even casual relationships is virtually non-existent. Do I choose to make it that
way? Not as far as I can tell. However, I know what I've experienced, and that includes very limited
involvement with people. Oh, I've been married nearly 8 years, but I have no sense that my wife knows
me. My observation is that she thinks that she does. However, the vast majority of what I AM is on the
inside and most of it is not expressed in the outside world at all. These notes provide an in-depth picture
that is as intimate as I am able to express at this particular time. Yes, it comes across as Ego-centric. I
obviously have a high opinion of myself and of my mission on the planet in this existence. At the same
time, I know that I come from a position of being without desire for any sort of earthly success. Spirit
drives my thoughts and my actions. I have no goals, no dreams, no desires [well, maybe a few desires
still]. I am a confirmed fatalist, thoroughly convinced that we are experiencing a Play designed in detail
by our Higher Selves in conjunction with consciousness. As we experience life, determinism reigns and
free will is non-existent. Our free will was exercised when the Play was co-created. Now, we are stuck
with living with the challenges and script that we planned for ourselves.
How can I believe this. Freedom, liberty, and free will are basic foundational principles in this country,
are they not? The bottom line is that their position as foundational principles doesn't make them any more
true. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, and reviewing what I have experienced and observed in
91
my life. I have yet to find anything that leads me away from the above beliefs in any manner. Now, these
beliefs are relatively new to me. It's only the dramatic awakenings I've been through in the past two years
that have led me not only to speculate that this is a possibility, but to thoroughly believe that it is so.
The key question is what difference does it make? At 37, I have never voted, primarily because I felt that
it literally made no difference what government did or who occupied what positions. My focus was spirit,
and government by its own rules had separated itself from church/spirit. I've never been a planner. I look
out for the immediate future and do things like make appropriate maneuvers to position myself to
smoothly do things. However, this is an automatic process that just happens for me. I've noticed others to
be more absent-minded when driving. For the most part, I don't do anything in my life that requires
planning at all. Occasionally, my schedule is impacted by a work commitment or by a social commitment
that my wife makes. Knowing that whatever will be will be, is a very freeing thing for consciousness. I
don't have to worry about anything. My Higher Self and consciousness have taken care of everything and
are feeding me exactly what is needed to carry out my part at any time. Further, my part is not to take
actions. These just happen. I observe them, and then take the next step of trying to understand what thy
mean and what I'm supposed to learn from them. This doesn't mean that I'm not responsible for what
happens. Quite the contrary. I accept that my Higher Self chose everything I experience, and that I
consciously will see spiritual law operating in full. However, I don't believe that I can consciously choose
what I think or what I do. There is no contradiction, I will reap what I see myself sow, but I am
consciousness watching it all happen, I am not a limited self locked inside a body. So, the bottom line is
not what happens -- that can be exactly the same whether free will or determinism operates. The
difference is in the awareness. Free will requires conscious responsibility. Determinism says that we are
spiritually responsible, but that our conscious is in the process of growing in awareness through
experience in the world. There is this fundamental idea that we are souls first : sparks of the ONE
consciousness existing primarily outside of the context of this space/time continuum. We create
incarnations to provide opportunity to learn and grow. It appears that restriction is necessary to focus the
self enough for specific lessons to be learned.
Now, however, it seems that we are at the crossroads of a massive change. Everything that comes to my
attention seems to confirm this same general message. Spirit is engaging the masses in ways that are
subtle yet extremely powerful. Overall Government seems to be moving in a direction opposite of Justice
Exalted. However, the sense is that this is a temporary move that will prompt a violent reaction that forces
things in the other direction.
It is not clear how the economy will comply. The market continues to rise, as do corporate profits, with
the end result that less money reaches the workers and more reaches the owners. This can't go on.
Distribution of wealth is a big deal and society should decide how this is done, not just the owners of the
big companies. There is a very real sense that we have a few wealthy owners and a lot of slaves in this
country. Yes, I would consider most workers to be slaves of their jobs. Their lifestyles require them to
indenture a good part of them time in doing things that others demand of them. Oh, the work
environments vary dramatically from enlightened to moderate to draconian -- with most in the middle but
more in the later than the former.
Who am I to speak in this manner? How can I know that what comes through in these notes is right? The
fact is that I am whom I say I am, Wayne Ellis Hartman, Jr. I speak in this manner from whom that I am. I
make no claim to conscious knowledge of what will come through. As I've said many time, consciously I
do not know how these words get into my head. I don't belief they come from random or non-random
processes within the brain. My explanation is that consciousness is the source of thought and she resides
outside of space and time. Further, all thought for all individuals originates from the same ONE
consciousness. In a very real way, we are ONE and have never been otherwise. However, our experience
is that we are individuals. Most of us have no awareness of an inner connection at all. Even fewer have a
92
strongly developed intuition of which they are consciously aware. As to whether any of this is right, I
cannot judge that for anyone else. Clearly, I have no intent nor motivation to deceive, for in doing so I am
impacted more than anyone else. My very life hangs on these words. If you do not sense that the truth in
what is being conveyed is obvious, move on or put the works aside. Trust your own intuition to guide you
to what is true for your unique path. Much of what I do is mark the territory of consciousness itself. It is
one of the few uncharted territories. Oh, there have be a few who have found ways to journey here and
there. However, it is time for a much more thorough and disciplined exploration. And, it truly is an
exploration. I am constantly amazed by what I find. Further, I am amazed that so little of what I have read
applies to what I am experiencing as reality.
Enough for those two questions. Pathfinder and Trailblazer come to mind as job titles. Bringer of the New
Way is another. I'm curious about the timing for what lies ahead. It's one thing to be a fatalist in theory. It's
quite another to be a fatalist. I've observed that there are a lot of ways of speaking that are counter to this
viewpoint that were a strong part of my mental makeup for 36 years. These are dropping as I notice them,
but they did not suddenly depart from the thoughts that now come into my mind. Just as I see corrections
in typing made on the fly, at another level I'm seeing corrections in how thoughts are phrased. Further,
these are not small things. They are major changes that strongly impact how I see the world and the very
nature of reality and consciousness herself. For one thing, whenever there is an apparent choice in my life
or another's that I am aware of, it is interesting to see what course of action takes place and what if any
conscious justification is made for the seeming choice.
There is still a sense that I'm hanging by a thread in some manner, or walking on a very narrow path. My
trust in consciousness, however, is unshakeable. I know that I am being moved toward a destiny that I
chose at a Higher Self level. There is no possibility of failure. The task for which I came must be
completed. The Dawn must indeed arrive, and the mass consciousness must be educated for what is to
unfold. It all comes back to Beyond Imagination and my role in bringing forth the VISION of what is to
be and then assuring that the Vision is implemented in a manner that is consistent with Justice Exalted.
Further, my sense now is that my whole life to date has prepared me for what I am about to do. As of yet,
I know not what that is. However, by all indications that I can read, next year is the year that it all starts --
at least at the public level. This does not mean my days as The Hermit are over. It only means that other
parts of my character may need to be expressed as well. It's interesting that 1996 comes through via
Astrology, and several ways via Numerology. The fact that the 38 Tarot card corresponds to Vision
provides further confirmation. Then, on the work side, my present job ends at the end of Mar 96. It's
curious that all these factors point to the opportunity and necessity for change, and to the possible
character of that change. Specifically how this will work itself out will be unveiled over time.
Consciousness seems to offer information on a need to know basis in my life. For the past two years, it
has been important to learn new symbolic vocabularies that allow me to see and hear the spiritual world
that is present all around us. Much of what I've learned and how I learned it is documented in these notes.
In many cases, I've included raw information along with my interpretations. For the most part, I've
captured everything I noticed. One strong conclusion out of all of this is that there is indeed a spiritually
world expressed in the ordinary symbols that surround us. However, one can only get to the specific
information applicable to the individual via the intuition. One must allow spirit or consciousness to guide
one's attention to what symbols are meaningful NOW, and then to interpret the relevant meaning.
I write and write and write. Even when it seems that there can be nothing further to say, consciousness
still comes through. The depth of what is expressed varies dramatically over time. Also, the apparent
source can appear different. But, it all comes through me, through my head and through the fingers that I
observe moving over the keyboard even as I await the letters to appear on the screen and even as at a
higher level I hear and interpret what is being said. I've noted that activity is taking place at all these level
simultaneously before. Further, I've noted that much of this activity happens automatically. I have no
93
conscious awareness of how they are taking place when they are taking place. Oh, in some cases there are
theories about how some of this happens, but nowhere have I read or been taught about how these
activities occur. I consider myself highly educated, MSEE from Stanford and 20 years of Metaphysics.
Yet, I have no clue other than to offer the theory that it's all done automatically and that thoughts originate
from this non-physical entity that I call the ONE consciousness.
From this perspective, I don't choose how these words come out or even what thoughts will be expressed
or even whether I will sit here and allow this to occur nor for how long. This is determined by the Plan
which is outside of my conscious awareness. I don't know whether I'll write for 10 minutes or for 10
hours, whether I'll stop at 11:30PM or 1:25 AM. My wife says this is a cop out. She still believes in free
will and choice. But, I have no sense that I can stop or control anything. What happens, happens. Though,
part of my behavior, especially work behavior generally follows norms acceptable to those I work with
and/or for.
More and more, I'm reaching a point of awareness where I question virtually everything. The sense is that
I am ready (in awareness) for all key beliefs to be examined, and eliminated and replaced if found
wanting. This is already occurring. Consciously I'm observing it happen. I don't have any sense that I am
making it happen. My Ego doesn't seem to mind not having control anymore. It seems resigned to the fact
that this entity called "consciousness" provides all control. And, from what it has seen, it has learned that
consciousness is competent and can be trusted.
3 Aug 95
If the first two days are any indication of what is to come, we're in for a doozie of a month from a notes
standpoint. It's hard to believe this is only the start of the third day. But then, I've seen the fires go from
red hot to cold embers literally overnight, so there is no utility in projecting what might be. I'm more and
more receptive to providing the time for consciousness to come through. Or, at least, I observe that I seem
to be. 8:55 = HEW, my initials backward. It's interesting to see what times my attention is drawn to
observe and take note of. Also, the writing pace seems to be a bit faster than it used to be. It's as if the
channel is more open and willing to bring the information though, whatever it might be. Also, I do not
appear to be in control of when I can write and when I cannot. I write when I am moved to do so, trusting
that consciousness will not abuse the situation, and that I am performing my role in accord with the Play.
Further, my sense is that I am working whether writing these notes or writing related to the Loral projects
that I'm assigned. In the present worldview however, only the later counts as "real" work. The former is
my personal stuff. Yet, in many cases the former is far from personal and moreover is the more important
of the two though no specific jobs may be called to address it. Interesting. The sense is that I am doing
work that will ultimately lead to the spiritual transformation of the country and the world, impacting
hundreds of millions if not billions before it is over. All that I ask in return is that my needs continue to be
met, and that the circumstances be optimized where possible for the performance of my mission. I don't
believe that is asking much. My needs are not great by any means, especially given the task for which I
am literally willing to give my life in service to perform. Not that I have anything to give at this point.
That choice was made prior to coming here. However, my conscious awareness of the task and the
choices made with respect to it are growing daily, indicating to me that the time is close at hand for
beginning it's fulfillment. Interesting.
I wonder how many others feel this way. It is as if I am virtually independent of the world of Illusion, no
longer subject to its trap and it's laws. I am aware, and further, am aware that I am aware, on up for
several levels. I have no experience that shows others to be in this conscious state. I don't doubt that there
are others. However, my Hermit status limits my exposure. My sense us that it was necessary for me to
94
discover all that I have on my own, guided by consciousness herself every step of the way; and not
through the physical interaction with others. I can only believe that what I have experienced is what I was
meant to experience and needed to experience for my personal growth.
Looking back, however, there were a lot of boring years overall. Things really starting picking up around
the time I met my future wife. It only took 100 days to go from meeting for the first time to getting
married and the 18 year age difference had no importance. In many ways, Gini seemed younger than I am.
There was a certainty that this was right spiritually. And then, as now, the time was ripe for change. For
many years I've had a sense that "Ancient One" is an appropriate term for me. There is an immediate
recognition of Wisdom that comes from experiences that clearly have not occurred in this existence. My
observations are that most people don't have this sense, or if they do, they haven't developed it.
9:28 = The Hermit : The Man with the World in His Hands. In many ways, this seems to describe what I
am. 5:28 comes up often as well, replacing the Hermit with The Hierophant. Then the is also 7:56 = 428
which replaces The Hierophant with The Emperor. It's curious that 9 = 4 + 5. The Hermit = The Emperor
+ The Hierophant [Hmm. Philosopher King or Spiritual King] 9 also = 3 + 3 + 3 = The Empress x 3 and 3
+ 6 = The Empress + The Lovers.
ASLAN => AS(H)LAN(D) adds 12 to 47 to reach 59. No wonder I keep seeing the 59 card as the
Aquarian Age card, even though the picture it carries is far from positive. It's also curious that HD = 84 as
if I'm the missing piece that turns America into ASHLAND that the PHOENIX may indeed arise out of
the ashes and a new world may be born.
7 Aug 95
I don't believe in chance encounters. And perhaps, the way this material is to get out is from person to
person as consciousness dictates the appropriate connections and circumstances.
Three days without writing. It seems like an eternity. Further, the page rate dropped from 4 per day which
is a near record pace down to 2 per day which is respectable none-the-less. Besides, there is nothing to
keep it from picking up again, should consciousness be willing and I be able. This continuing
communication happens to an audience unseen. Oh, I constitute an audience of one, bearing witness to
what consciousness expresses. However, there is a strong sense that this is meant for a much wider
audience than my own consciousness. Then again, there may be a bit of ego slipping through. However, I
claim no conscious awareness of how this message is created. It is obvious that it comes through me. But,
there is nothing obvious within me that says it is of me. Through me is far different than of me. In the
first, my role is that of scribe and translator (not an insignificant role for what is being expressed). In the
second, my role is that of creator, and this I have not felt to be true throughout the over two years that
these notes have been coming through.
I don't know how many times this point have been made, in slightly different ways here and there, but it is
definitely repeated often enough, that my awareness is cognizant of it always. I know not how nor from
where these ideas come. I consider myself but a scribe, and consider the source to be consciousness
herself, a non-physical entity akin to Goddess, The Empress. Further, I believe this source to be the ONE,
so that the same consciousness driving my thoughts drives the thoughts of all others as well. Further,
because of this, everything is perfectly coordinated, things occur exactly as they are planned, with the one
exception being our own personal realization and awareness. This is one area that can be coaxed a bit, but
cannot be pushed. Yet, there is a large wave coming. And, those ready to ride that wave into a New Age
95
will experience a grand reality indeed where spirit is able to soar as never before on this planet and flesh. I
came to help usher in that new day, to allow the Dawn of a New Age to finally manifest. Though, I'm not
sure that my help is truly required. It seems that the New Age will arrive regardless of the specific
consciousness level. However, the is also a sense that the greater the awareness, the greater the glory of
the Dawn.
9:28 PM. The Hermit : The Man w/ The World in His Hands : The Benefactor. It's about time that I get
back to note writing. I'm in a strange state of mind, neither up nor down, but somewhat dazed. I don't
know why, but there is a fuzziness that is noticeable. Too much sun over the weekend didn't help. I can
still feel it burning, primarily on the shoulders but partially on the face, especially around the forehead.
However, it doesn't seem that should make all that much difference. Made copies of the Beyond
Imagination briefings and notes for the past couple months. Why? Good question. It just felt like the right
thing to do. Generally that means it will be time to distribute the information shortly. I probably convey a
sense that in many ways I am not in control of my own life. That is a correct assessment. I neither sense
that I am in control, nor do I desire to be such. Consciousness has charge of my life now. Thus far I have
found it useful to place my trust in her arms completely. Quite interesting that this would be the case, but
it is. With the exception of spiders, snakes, and other strange insects -- most of my fears have been
eliminated. That does not mean that I am fearless, only that fear is not a major controlling factor in my
life. It's also interesting to watch how my life is unfolding. Change is all about me. I expect that looking
back from my 38th birthday I will find that the events of the next 8th months will have been very
interesting, indeed. There is an inner sense that the transformation will be complete, but in a way that is
quite unexpected. I look forward with excited anticipation. At the same time, I know that the way to get
there is moment by moment until the time has indeed arrived. The moment is where life is lived. It is the
only time when consciousness can express. One might even say it is the only time that is timeless, just as
Here is the only place without location. "Be Here Now", I believe that came from Ram Dass, however I
would be surprised if he didn't get it from Eastern spiritual teachings. This is the key to getting Beyond
Mind as Krishnamurti talked about and tried to teach for much of his life.
I can tell that the channel is sluggish tonight. Usually, there is more of a crispness associated with the
material coming through. Last week, I was literally writing as fast as my fingers could move. Now,
however, it's as if I'm not fully here. Not because I am flying, but because I am somewhat numb. I'm not
used to feeling this way, especially since I've been flying for nearly too months. So, where do we go next?
What would consciousness express? In copying the briefings the came through in January, I realized that
they contain a lot of good ideas. I knew this before, but it really sunk in that these briefings prescribe a
formula for truly building a viable community with a proper government, economy, and education system.
The briefings call for bold steps. Somehow, however, the steps described are a VISION of what is to be. I
have no idea of how we as a country will get there, but the higher level course of action is clear. I
remember the sense I had as I generated the briefings: this is the truth as best I can express it at this time.
Interesting. But, the certainty that this was what was required from the highest level to address the key
problems of the day was complete. The next question is: will it happen as I captured it? And what part, if
any, will I have to play in the execution?
The idea that it is time to scrap the US Constitution and build a new one that can take us into a new
millennia would probably be considered to be high treason by the majority in this country. Yet, we have a
current situation where a document with a set of ten initial Amendments and another couple dozen
Amendments made over time has served a nation for over 200 years to a time where the nature and
complexities of life are far different and greater than the Founding Fathers could every had imagined. It is
absurd that we haven't taken action sooner to build a government more capable of serving us in the
modern world. For the most part, our government is considered to be a joke. Dishonesty is rampant in
96
politics. PACs literally direct votes on legislation based on which candidates they fund -- and, of course,
they do so for the good of their company, industry, or special interest rather than the public interest. Yet, it
goes on and on and on. It's time to say enough is enough -- and, not just to the politicians, but to the PACs
and more importantly, to the companies they support. As a society, we need to empower ourselves and say
this is how we chose to live. Companies, if you want to sell your goods in our market, this is the share of
profit you are entitled to for your investment and the rest goes back to the public good in whatever way
society finds best. Why we allow individuals or companies to accrue undue wealth is ridiculous. It
basically says that companies can rip us off and charge us more than the value they provide. The argument
generally given is that "free enterprise" will keep this from happening. However, Tucker was a classic
case. He proved that the public was paying way too much for way too little in a car. Yet, he was denied the
ability to get his cars to full scale production, even though he achieved his dream and made 50 of his cars.
The problem that we face here is how do we as a society make decisions that impact us all? Here is where
majority rule is not the answer. Our government was not designed simply to express the rule of the
majority. Rather, it was designed to protect minorities. My sense of things is that people should rise to the
positions for which they are most qualified and not go beyond that to where the Peter Principle takes
effect. Our current means of identifying candidates and funding them has no checks that assure the
candidates do indeed have the skills and abilities to do the job.
There is a sense that things can't change until the prerequisite ideas are broadcast and incorporated into
belief systems -- and in particular, the incorporated into the mass consciousness. Interesting. Here is
where the domain of awareness comes in. It fits atop the actions and events that occur in the world. Belief
systems are used to translate these events into meaning. They are tools that are available to consciousness
to assist in understanding it's world as a reflection of the nature of itself. Now, that was deep. I've seen it
expressed in different ways, but this is the first time it's really struck me in this way. I'm starting to see
where free will fits in. It is here, at the level of reality interpretation; and in how we become aware of our
Selves, our own Higher Consciousness, and the ONE Consciousness herself.
ONE = O Ne = 8 10 = 18 = The Moon. Now, isn't that interesting. How appropriate that a lunatic would
be in search of The ONE. Appropriate, indeed.
ONE = 15 + 14 + 5 = 34. This is spirit wandering and being planted as ideas. Another interpretation that
matches what I've been doing.
One = 15 + 5 + 5 = 25 = First Knight, added association with 30 = Camelot. This also has a direct
connection with my 2 soul ray, 5 personality ray.
one = 6 + 5 + 5 = 16 = The Tower. That's interesting as well. We're on Pg 16 now. This is the number that
most characterizes my purpose.
It's also curious that O Ne + one = ONE.
The question of how to get the Beyond Imagination ideas out to their intended audience is at the forefront
of my mind. I can't stop feeling that there is something that I am supposed to do, some connection I am
supposed to make. Yet, I know that my actions are predestined, and as such occur without my conscious
direction/choice. Then again, my conscious is a tool, just as every other part of my mind and body; and, as
such, should be available at the beck and call of consciousness to do whatever work consciousness would
have me do. Am I reaching a stage where I can consciously co-create reality in line with the direction of
spirit? It sure seems that the utility factor for expressing spirit in flesh is much greater if I can apply all of
whom that I am aware that I am in flesh, and this includes my conscious mind.
97
8 Aug 95
8/8 is a very special day. These only occur 12 times per year. This one is especially interesting because 8
+ 8 = 16:The Tower. Further 88 = Completion. No other double has this relationship. 11/11 and 12/12
have great power too, however for very different reasons.
Time to continue with the notes for a bit. It's always good to start off my day with a few monitions of
consciousness. What they will be, I never know. Yet, I can trust that consciousness always has something
useful or important to say. It's an interesting process, using one's own connection with source as the
primary source of information for gaining Self-Awareness. This was not taught in any school or workshop
that I have attended or any book that I have read, as far as I know. Why, escapes me. Now, this is by far
the most important on-going process in my life. That it took 35 years to find it was amazing. However,
many never find it after a lifetime or searching, and many more don't bother to even search at all. To each,
their own. Their is a sense that at any given moment, the world is perfect in accord with the awareness of
each individual and the resulting collective awareness of the whole. How can this be given that there is so
much violence and crime, and so few examples of the Power of Love in day to day life? Regardless of
appearances, such is indeed the case. Experience in the world, and experience for spirit, while related, are
very different things. Spirit is subtle. It does not force its way or desires upon the world. It gives
completely of itself wherever it is needed and called. It is primarily called by awakenings of awareness.
These come about through timing in special cases and through the appropriate self-work and observation
in general.
Yes, it's obvious by now that I consider myself to be a special case, and that the timing of my awakening
was literally written in the stars. It could have been predicted from my birth but was not. In fact, the
astrologers only confirmed that what I was experiencing exactly two years ago was due to a particular
energy pattern that lasted for over three months. Neptune conjunct Uranus (nearly exact) both square to
my Natal Sun (nearly exact as well). It's strange recalling this now. That was a very important, but very
weird time in my life. My mind was functioning in strange ways, accepting things as true, with very little
if any verification. My belief system effectively went out on a limb -- and a very weak limb at that; and,
ultimately the very foundations of what I had believed before were taken away before my very eyes, only
in this case spiritual rather than physical eyes.
Since then, the change has been constant. There is hardly a day in which I can look back and say I had not
learned some new truth, especially spiritual truth. My life is lived where my focus is. It should be obvious
by now that spirit and consciousness are the motivating factors in my life. They drive me, and define my
very being. I would not have it any other way. Such is necessary to carry out the mission that I came to
perform. I have glimpses of what this is, but no overall picture, and no real details. Yet, I trust in this
destiny to the utmost, and I know that consciousness guides me every step of the way.
I find it interesting that I can place so much trust and faith in this non-physical entity that I call
consciousness. Yet, to me, it seems such a natural thing to do that I cannot imagine living in any other
way. Also, I have a lot of experience with consciousness coming through, so the trust and faith now has a
very strong foundation. The bottom line appears to be trust in the validity of inner reality vs the outer
illusion. The outer offers a reflection of the inner, however, so it has great utility as well. We are spiritual
beings experiencing physical reality, not the other way around. It's time we recognized that fully and did
what it takes to bring more of that spiritual nature into the physical experience by becoming true temples
for spirit through which consciousness can do her works.
98
9 Aug 95
File size = 755 38 = 528 VISION. Interesting. Further, I started typing at 11:00, Justice:The Fool. Today
marks the 50th anniversary of dropping the A-Bomb [Fat Man] on Nagasaki. I found it curious that
Nagasaki wasn't even the primary target and is arranged geographically much like San Francisco, so the
blast was only felt in a section of the city. Interestingly, the Catholic section. Something as simple as
weather causing cloud cover over the primary target led to the devastation and horror at Nagasaki, though
the fatality count was only half that of the preceding disaster at Hiroshima. Whereas Hiroshima has
become a shrine to Peace, Nagasaki was forced to get on with its life as a sort of lesser cousin. Interesting.
Now, what did this have to show to consciousness? What was the war about? Power and conquest.
Wielding one's might to wherever one could. Where is the morality in this position? What makes it right
for one people or nation to decide that another people are inferior and hence can be treated as subhuman?
Further, to take this to an extreme and believe that it is righteous to exterminate such a people is about as
heinous of a crime as can be committed. Yet, such is the power of Hate inflamed. It allowed the Turks to
exterminate the Armenians near the turn of the century and Hitler's Greater Germany to exterminate so
many Jews in the late 30's through 1945. And, now in what was Yugoslavia, we see three groups at odds
with each other for centuries committing atrocities on a daily basis and there appears to be nothing
effective that the United Nations or the United States can do. Yet, the answer is simple. No, it is not to
allow people to settle their own disputes as they would please. Rather, it is to realize that we live in a
world that has closed in on itself, so that the affairs of each nation are intertwined with all others. In such
a world, particular types of behavior are simply no longer acceptable, period. They will neither be allowed
nor tolerated, and any companies or individuals caught supporting or funding these behaviors will have
their possessions confiscated and will be subjected to strict punishment under international law. The
nations and individuals participating in such conflicts will be subjected to the appropriate sanctions
necessary to stop their conflict and bring their differences up before impartial mediation with the goal of
coming up with a WIN-WIN scenario.
Interesting. How can this be so obvious to me and not to others? Then again, maybe it is obvious to others
as well. However, there is obviously a minority of individuals [the 5,000] who prefer to keep the status
quo, maintaining the power balance exactly where it is. Yet, this is truly unacceptable to the very concept
of the Aquarian Age. Though, from a quick look at the awareness level of the masses, it is not clear
whether Self-government has yet arrived. It may still be necessary for a small group [the 5,000] to make
the changes necessary to transform the society. It's much easier organizing things from the top down. OK,
so how do I get tapped into such a group in a manner that provides credibility. I have no inherited wealth.
Ah, but that is not quite right, I would not give up my spiritual inheritance for any price. So, will I just be
recognized for WHOM that I AM? My sense is that yes, indeed, when the time is right my ideas and
VISION will be recognized -- and then, my personal recognition will follow.
When doesn't matter. Consciousness guides me every step of the way. The Play calls for the appropriate
generation, dissemination, receipt, and understanding or the information that is to go forth from me into
the world. With Mercury at the top of my chart, there is no doubt that communication plays a major role
in why I am here, and thus where many of my natural abilities lie. The sense is that the process was all
designed specifically to give me the capabilities needed and the programming required to carry out my
destiny at the designated time, a time as of yet which I know not. Oh, I have some general hints that have
come through in the past two years, some much louder than others. However, these all speak of future
times, when what confronts me now are the realities of a present in the midst of turmoil. Though, even the
turmoil is eight months out -- an eternity given my present frame of awareness.
Each day speaks out its wisdom, urging me onward on a path I know to be right though I know not where
it ultimately leads, nor where it specifically touches on the way. I embrace the uncertainty of it all,
99
knowing the uncertainty to be an illusion, existing solely within my mind, for truth is fully aware of the
Plan of Consciousness. And, in that Plan, all is accounted for, nothing is uncertain, nothing important is
left to chance. Originally, I wrote "nothing" and then moved back and added "important". I don't know
why. I'm just noting what I observed. The issue of Philosopher King rears its head again. I feel fully
qualified for such a position based primarily on an innate sense of truth and what is right or just, and
based on a common sense top down approach for tackling the problems of the end of an age and birth of a
new one. It also doesn't hurt that I have a deep faith in consciousness, one that knows no bounds. I know
that she has guided and programmed me all of my life to be able to recognize her, bow to here, and allow
her Will to flow through me into words and works that transform the world.
Lofty thinking. For most people yes. However, everything I know about myself says that this is indeed
true, the course of things to come. And not in the distant future, but rather as near as 3 to 10 years, perhaps
starting even sooner.
I lost a few lines of due to a computer error. I don't remember exactly what they were but if they're
important, I'm sure that they'll come back.
One idea dealt with RAMTHA being in my head. INDEED!
INDEED = 91 44 554 = 91 44 626 = Death Exalted : Meditating Man : The Lovers : GOD.
I drive a RAM 250, RAM THA = RAM 281 or RAM 2081. The later seems to be the most important right
now. However, the former has a timing factor. RAM 250 was when I got my van in 1993. RAM 281 is 31
years later = 2024. We've seen this year before. It marks the end of a lifespan of 66 years that straddles
1991. [Appropriate = Death Exalted on the dot].
Now when was our country founded? RAM 250 - 217 = RAM 33. Imagine that! The Constitution was
ratified 11 years later = RAM 44. Curious as well.
Now, why RAM. Yes, there is the obvious connection to Aries and to boldly going forth on a grand new
adventure. But, why R A M = 18 1 13 = 1:13-81 span of 68, center at 147. This is an interesting number in
it's own right. 417= The Emperor:The Star from the center out, 111 short of 528 = The Hierophant:Man
w/ World in His Hand, which in turn is 111 short of 639 = The Lovers: The Knight of Peace. OK. I don't
need to be hit over the head with a brick. Further, 18 + 1 + 13 = 32 = America = I AM Race = Victory.
ARE AM = 24 14 = 38:VISION => DREAM = 41= Ace of Cups = Wayne. Follow the sound then make
the additional connections with the intuition. Don't worry, you will know when you are being led astray.
There is nothing wrong with bringing through half truths at this time. In fact, it may be required for the
material to reach and audience to whom it can stick. So long as the ideas remain a secret from the world,
their impact cannot be felt.
But, how is it that the ideas are to gain their wings? My few attempts thus far to let them loose have been
feeble at best. Initially, I thought this was due to my own ego involvement in their release. Yet, even in the
attempts, I was guided by consciousness as to what to do and how. For some reason I needed to see these
failures, and to trust that consciousness has her season for everything, including the dissemination of
whatever information is supposed to go out to whomever is supposed to receive it. I don't assume to begin
to know whom that is or how to make it happen. Interesting that I just noticed the time was 4:44. Earlier, I
strongly noticed the time at 2:22 and 3:33 as well. These triple are showing up again. Hmm. What is that
telling me to look at. 111 was a key delta between 417, 528, and 639.
100
417 = 3 x 111 + 84 : The Lovers Exalted The Empress 528 = 4 x 111 + 84 : The Lovers Exalted The
Emperor 639 = 5 x 111 + 84 : The Lovers Exalted The Hierophant
111 = 78 + 33 Christ Exalted. How appropriate.
1 4 7 417 from inside out.
2 5 8 528 from inside out
3 6 9 639 from inside out.
These important numbers come from a very simple process of placing the digits 1-9 in order in a three by
three matrix. What could be easier. It also helped that 528 came up as the model of a BMW that nearly hit
me, and that since then has come up an amazing number of times.
The surprising new fact that comes from the above is that 84:The Lovers is characteristic when the
numbers are reduced by the Christ Exalted Base.
111 is divisible = 3 x 37.
417 = 10 x 37 + 47:ASLAN Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups 526 = 13 x 37 + 47:ASLAN Death, King of
Cups 639 = 16 x 37 + 47:ASLAN Tower, King of Cups
Dinner with Larry was very interesting again, as usual. I thoroughly enjoyed our discussion. Centralized
planning was a key issue, as was an analysis of my attempts to get information out to the world, first
through friends, then through increasing circles of outsiders -- including the President and Vice-President.
Thus far, there is no feedback as to whether any of the seeds have been sown on good soil. And the sense
is that there may not be until it comes time to reap.
The bottom line is that it doesn't seem to matter much. I will continue to generate whatever consciousness
has me generate and send it wherever consciousness moves me to send it. The sense is that the seeds must
indeed be sown, and now is the time for sowing. We have a revolution to carry out, "an intellectual revolt
against present trends of thinking and being". Does this make me guilty of treason? Not in the least! Our
forefathers provided for this change in their Declaration of Independence. The time has come to change
the Constitution of the United States in very major ways. If our country is truly open, this can be done
within the present framework. However, my sense is that the scope of changes needed are beyond what
can be accommodated within the current framework. Others must realize that this is the case. I
specifically mentioned it in my valedictorian address 19 years ago, at a time when I was only 18. Now, we
are rapidly reaching a set of circumstances where the nation must change dramatically or suffer
immensely. My sense is that we will indeed experience the required change because such is what
consciousness has programmed into the Play. However, I still have a desire to do whatever I must to help
bring this change about, knowing that what I must do is what consciousness would have me do.
I Am = 53 + 95 = 148 = The Man in Search of More Exalted (100) = 1:70(78) The Juggler [528 = The
Hierophant:The Man w/ the World in His Hand] 528 was the middle of our three special numbers dealt
with earlier. The Juggler juggles two(2) pentacles(5) within a lemniscate(8).
101
10 Aug 95
The full moon shines brightly slightly forward, above, and to the right of me as I write thus. Am I a
lunatic. It appears that such is so. The moon definitely holds sway over my physical expression. The full
moon and the new moon, in particular, hold the greatest sway. The Moon = 18. It's completion is none
other than 70 = The Juggler = The 528. How appropriate this is. How much it explains about what drives
my own psyche and perhaps that of all beings.
13 Aug 95
Once again, I found no time to write for most of the day. It's so easy for that to happen. I don't know
where the day goes. Though, I did spend some time with The World Almanac, selecting a group of people
and organizations to whom to send the Beyond Imagination ideas. The people range from Bill Gates, to
Leon Panetta, to the Odd Fellows, whomever they might be. I let my intuition be my guide and ended up
with 26 addresses more or less. I don't recall the exact count. I'll make disks or packages as appropriate
and get them out on my way home on Wed. There is a sense of needing to get the seeds out, that I may
find where, if anywhere, there is fertile ground. I'm writing to the chief executives of some of the top
companies in America, and further about things that impact, but are not directly to their business. In the
long run, I'm enlisting their cooperation in Reinventing America. If the government can do it, why not
society? And, right now, society is effectively enslaved by the owners within the economy - more
specifically, the largest owners in the economy. It will be interesting to see if Bill Gates from Microsoft,
Michael Eisner from Disney, or the Chief of Citibank sees and responds to the Beyond Imagination ideas.
I can only perform the actions that consciousness bid me perform. Then, it is up to the universe to produce
the desired result. I will continue to do what I must do, what I am driven to do by the voice of
consciousness within me. Her expression is my sole concern, for it is her works and not mine that must be
done in accord with the Play. I still write as if I could choose to do other than I do, as if, for instance, I
could have awakened three hours earlier and got some daily quota of pages completed. Yet, such is not the
case. Consciousness chooses the time and duration for these sessions, and not one word comes through
without her involvement. On my own I am nothing. I exist to serve consciousness. The rest of my life is
basically filler, learning about the nature of my Self and coming into greater realization of whom that I am
so that my service can be enhanced all the greater as well. Looking back over my life, I see that
consciousness hand has been there as long as I can remember. She clearly brought me to see the truth
through Plato, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and The Seth Material & Seth Speaks: The
Eternal Validity of the Soul. These formed a core foundation at age 16 that made me even more different
than those from whom I'd already felt separated. This was the start of The Hermit phase in earnest.
I have to assume the April 6, 2005 and April 6, 2011 are going to be key days in this play of
Consciousness. The crucifixion of Christ, and the parallel scene in the film The Judas Project, drew such
an emotional reaction from my Heart that I sense that somehow my role too shall include such an element
within it. Not that I'd wish such on anyone. This is where the ability to leave the body at will comes to
play (the 33 card in the Tarot). These days are both Good Friday, and my 47th birthday and 53 birthday
respectively follow on Easter Sunday. Note: 47th birthday = start of the 48th year! Also interesting is that
these are the only two dates for 200 years forward and backward when Easter falls on April 8.
14 Aug 95
102
Something about today is more special then normal. I was compelled to get Beyond Imagination ideas out
today on a massive scale to people in government, industry, and various groups and organizations. I
literally spent over half the day in this endeavor. 8/14 is a 22 day, but that in itself doesn't seen to be the
answer. The 78 complement of 8/14 is 70/64. Interesting, but no "that's it" sense yet. This is the 226 day
of the year.
226 = 2:72(77) = 2:70(78) = 2:58(84) = 2:50(88) = 2:48(89)
That's it! 226 is the day when spirit is expressed on earth, peace prevails, "happily ever after" achieves
completion, and The Man in Search of More follows the Justice Exalted path.
The writing has definitely slowed for the month, but it's as if I am a man possessed anyway. What can I
say? I've learned that it is certain that my job goes away in 7.5 months. To some degree, that's a numbing
thought. I had been under the impression that I could walk my resume into whatever company wins the
contract related to the work I do, and have a job. My sense now is that this is not the direction that fate is
moving me. It seems that the division of Loral planning to bid the work will do the work in LA. I don't
see that being the direction in which I am headed. At the same time, I literally have not considered any
alternatives that involve doing work for another. Yet, what comes through me from consciousness does
not seem appropriate for publication and widespread distribution. Seven and a half months is a long time,
however. It will be interesting to see what transpires in that interval and what I am moved to do.
Something Gini said earlier sticks as being a judgment of me and my methods for getting my ideas out.
Her view was that the feedback from the world is important and one needs to be careful about how one
expresses oneself especially with respect to potential employers. My sense of things is to hell with any
subtlety. I am what I am. If my talents and abilities aren't sufficient to do the work, fine; otherwise, my
ideas and my work are separate -- regardless of how unique, or even crazy the ideas and beliefs may
seem. Judge me by the results of my work, not by any other factors which literally have no relevance,
period. I am free to believe whatever I will, regardless of how far those beliefs get from any sense of
norm. Further, do not express me to hide what I am, for I will not do so under any conditions. I must be
whom that I am, and I must express what consciousness would reveal though me. If this means that I am
crazy, then the definition of crazy is simply wrong. My own experience is that I am aware, more so than
most, and I have definitely not gone over the deep end. The bipolar condition is under control, stabilized
between levels that swing from slight mania to moderate mania with an occasional touch of high mania,
though never any extreme mania. Further, I am aware of the state that I am in much of the time. I don't
know what causes the changes, but I feel comfortable riding with them. They've become a normal part of
my conscious experience that essentially I just have to accept. Deep down there is a sense that the drugs
are not necessary. Yet, both my doctor and my wife belief and argue otherwise. Until I'm in a controlled
situation where the drugs can be reduced and eliminated while the conscious state is monitored for it's
ability to deal with potentially increased swings, I'll continue taking the Eskalith and Depakote. There is
some sense that these drugs are indeed altering my body chemistry in ways that promote my spiritual
growth. Everything works together.
As to feedback for ideas from the world, to a large degree it doesn't matter. The ideas stand on their own.
They are valid. Whether they are politically acceptable or economically acceptable is another matter, a
matter that will ultimately be decided in the positive. The changes that are forecast will indeed arise. The
Dawn is coming, and coming soon at that. A New Age will be here before we know it, and it will be very
different from the reality that is currently experienced.
15 Aug 95
103
Yesterday was quite strange. As of 4:00, I've already had enough for today. It's time to refresh myself in
the waters of consciousness for awhile and let her restore my soul. I'm flying again, even though I took
my medication. Getting everything into the mail yesterday was very freeing. The sense is that a great
weight has lifted off of my back. It could be weeks or months before I get any response, if indeed I get
any. Somehow that does not matter. The seeds had to get out on a major scale. Whether any will fall on
good soil and take root remains to be seen. I did have quite an impressive list of organizations,
government officials, and captains of industry. It amazing what my intuition picked out of the World
Almanac. To date, the feedback has been virtually nil. My wife suggests that this is because the ideas
themselves are crazy. My sense is just the opposite. The ideas are correct, or close to truth. They describe
the country and the world as it will be, and at the highest level, what it will take to get us there. I
challenge anyone to come up with such a cohesive set of ideas that describe and address the fundamental
problems of the day from an overall perspective. I did the briefings in about 12 hours over the course of
less than one week. Clearly, the organization was guided but something far grander than myself. There
was no thinking about the issues, or generation of outlines or relevant notes. Further, the briefings were
each written in a single session and were not modified after creating them other than to correct a few
typos here and there. The idea that I could have such command of these major topics: society,
government, economy, and education literally off the top of my head without resort to research of any
type is a bit mind-boggling. These areas show a breadth of awareness and understanding that a Hermit
typically would not possess. Yet, the evidence is clear, the briefings exist. The ideas contained therein will
indeed see the light of day. I know not how nor when, but it is as clear to me as the fact that I stand (or sit)
and breathe. Interesting that this would be so. Thus far, the briefings are the cleanest expression of the
Beyond Imagination VISION. The book, Beyond Imagination : Foundations for Creation a New World
provides addition details, and presents much more information about who I am. The briefings bring out
more of a impersonal flavor, presenting a body of ideas that should be judged solely on the basis of its
merits and not on where it came from.
It will be interesting to see if, and how, people react. The ideas are clearly revolutionary. They call for
bold changes. Some might even call them treason. Yet, the nature of the times is such that this is the only
way out.
The time has come for a revolution, an intellectual revolt against present trends of thinking and being.
I spoke these words over 20 years ago to an audience that had no clue as to what I was saying. In fact, I
really didn't know what I was saying at the time. There was no plan in place to carry out this revolt. In
fact, there were no steps defined at all. Yet, it was important to express. It came from a place within me
that I was only starting to know. Further, it is interesting that I would stumble on the original printout of
my Valedictorian Address in the past two years after not seeing it for at least a decade. I was meant to see
that two decades earlier the seeds for what I would become were already starting to show. Looking back,
I've always been different. I've never really had any close friends. No one has ever been in a position to
really get to know me. But then, neither have I been in a position to really get to know another. Yes, I've
been married for nearly eight years, but I would not classify the relationship as close. Exactly why such
has been my experience, I know not. I can only relate what I have experienced. Further, I can only trust
that consciousness guides my experience to be what it needs to be for my highest growth and for the
highest good of all. Detachment comes to mind as a basic attitude. There is a sense that in detachment,
there is freedom from suffering. However, there is also a sense that detachment and love are
incompatable. Yet, as the Hermit, detachment is the way of life. However, as the Hierophant, Love is the
way. Even as a Hermit, there is a detached love for all beings. It is this Love that drives one to do what it
takes to make the world a better place via allowing consciousness to work through one. Interesting. To
hold a general love for all things without unduly loving any or being attached to anyone or anything --
such is the Hermits way.
104
It's interesting how this process works. My soul pours forth in these notes offering a portrait of who I am,
what I believe, how I think, what I observe, what actions I take, and how I interpret things. What comes
through is no holds barred. I cannot stop it. I do not screen it for what someone else might think or
whether it might bring embarrassment to me or others, though by this point I don't know what might
happen that could cause me much concern. The bottom line is that I have absolute faith in consciousness,
and in my Self, the spark of consciousness that I AM. What must be expressed will be expressed in
whatever manner is appropriate. Furthermore, whatever results from this expression I am both meant and
suited to handle.
It's interesting how easy it is to speak when no one is listening. Yet, I know that what is being spoken now
will indeed be heard at it's appointed time and place, and maybe even many times and places as the
material gravitates to those with the ears to hear it. It's curious that I would talk about the written word in
terms of those with the ears to hear it. Yet, that is how I think of reading -- as a hearing process that uses
the eyes as an input device. We're generally accustomed to seeing images and pictures not words.
It feels very good to be writing in this manner again. My spirit soars, and does my Heart when engaged in
this endeavor. The question is how to do what I love to do full time, at the appropriate level of pay
commensurate with the services I am performing for society. Here it is up to consciousness to pass
judgment on my contributions, not man. Actually, this is already build into the Play. It is so hard to keep
the terminology from slipping back to that of a world possessed of freedom and free will. These are so
ingrained into us, that we cannot imagine being able to have the same or better experience from an
alternate point of view where predetermination and destiny are the chief operational characteristics. The
only difference between the two is whether choice exists or not. This cannot be determined from within
the illusion. The fact that we appear to make choices, or that we feel that we make choices, or even that
we know that we compare alternatives before making choices means nothing. We are never placed in a
position to go back to a point in time and test whether we could have taken a different path. Never.
Everything that we ever do happens HERE and NOW. No other time nor space exists. The key lesson is to
learn what it means to really BE and then to focus it HERE and NOW, in the very place we are at this
very instant. This is how, and where, and when spirit is given expression. We, of and by ourselves, are
nothing and can do nothing. It is only by allowing consciousness to flow through us that the works of
spirit are made manifest. And, these are the works that matter most, for we are indeed spirit enfleshed. It
is time that we find the ways to increase this manifestation of spirit in flesh in this world. This is the
critical step required to reach the New Age. Further, such indeed we will do, it is written in the very
heavens. It is also stamped on the beings who are cooperating to bring it all about, though many know not
whom they are. Others have only recently awakened. Overall, however, everything is unfolding according
to Plan. One might say there is no other way that it could manifest, anyway. Consciousness writes the
script, and every act, scene, and line is accounted for. Even the words that come through at this moment.
Yes, even these words.
It's been awhile since I've had such a span of time for writing. I'm grateful for each minute. Just being in a
state of receptivity, active though it may be, allowing a source from inside to communicate and bring forth
information of this nature is a real trip. You might say that I have become an explorer of consciousness. I
go inside and connect with something through a process of which I am not even aware. Then I allow the
information to flow as it will be it mundane or sublime. My sense is that I am not in control at these times.
It's as if I'm on autopilot. However, my abilities, understanding, and vocabulary are being cooperatively
used to express whatever is being expressed. The process could not occur in the manner it does without
me. And, the sense is that my talents are uniquely suited to the role that I am being prepared to play. Yes, I
mean uniquely. I believe this applies to some others as well, but not to the masses at large. Interesting, but
the lack or readiness and awareness makes it so. The CAMELOT page. I've been meaning to see the
movie First Knight with Sean Connery as King Arthur and Richard Gere as Lancelot. From the previews,
it looks well done indeed. Perhaps sometime this coming weekend. There is something about that time
105
period that is particularly attractive to me. I don't know why, it just is. And, it has nothing to do with
history, a subject for which I don't care at all, other than understanding the progression of the ability of
consciousness to express via flesh. It just came to me, the Just and Benevolent King. Ok, he had his
problem with jealousy, bringing down a Kingdom as a result.
Now, here I am with Genevieve -- quite close to Guenevere -- awaiting my time to be Philosopher King,
4:28 or 5:28, possibly even 6:28; ready to establish a New Society for a New Age. But, who am I? One
man, a Hermit at that. How do I qualify for a position that doesn't yet exist? Further, what makes me think
that it will ever exist? My only response is that I know. All the signs that I see point to such a destiny, no
matter how improbable or impractical it may appear at this moment. Also, while I am Wayne, the large
letter composed of 13 diamonds on my ring is a "A" -- reference to King Arthur maybe. The ring is
definitely fit for a King, and I knew it was mine from the moment that I saw it. In fact, I replaced my
wedding ring with it. Interesting. With that act I signified being wedded to something more, for the ring
has one dragon head facing to the L and down, as I look at it, and a second facing to the R and up. The
"A" is positioned between them, standing as it were between the heavens and the earth.
16 Aug 95
222 333 222 888 and 777 appeared on license plates that I noticed on the way to work, in the given order
23287 = 2 32 09. How interesting.
My tripmeter crossed 666 on the way to work as well, but even though I was consciously aware of the
event, and desirous of seeing the specific crossing, 668 was as close as my attention was drawn. It was as
if I had no control over the matter. I also recall noting at about 658 or 660 that the 666 crossing would
happen soon. Had I seen it, I would have put it on my list of triples for the incoming trip, completely
changing the meaning of what came through. It is not clear right now even where it would have fit in.
528 is 6:66(77) so 6:68(77) is 530 = The Hierophant : Camelot. How interesting. 668 reversed is 866 =
8:66 = 11:00(22). Hmm, Justice, the center of my "X" reading, and one of the key ingredients in making
Camelot a reality.
Just noticed again that 84 = 777 sum = 77 + 7. 777 also = JACKPOT. 84 reversed = 48 = The Man in
Search of More. It also equals 4/8, my day of birth. Curious indeed.
222 struck me as extremely important, especially seeing it twice in a short period of time. Adding 222 to
1776, the Birth of America yields 1998. We could read this as the seven year span from 91 to 98, Death
Exalted to Judgment Exalted. It also struck me that this could be read as the 70 year span from 19 to 89,
centered at 54. Carrying this further, I wanted to know what was so special about 54.
Another flash to capture. 528 = 5 6 7 8, summed = 26 = GOD. How appropriate. Since we’re thinking
mathematically 5 x 6 x 7 x 8 = 30 x 56 = Camelot x Balance/Justice = 1680.
1680 = 21:42(78). Wow, the triangle number for The World. Also, The World : The Couple with the
Winged Lion Above the Caduceus.
1680 = 20:00(84). Wow, JUDGEMENT, big time!
106
These are meaningful on a very grand scale. It doesn't surprise me. However, I've been dealing with this
number (528) for some time now so the scope of the additional meaning being revealed is enough to
shock me. There is a sense of balance and harmony being revealed that shows a richness in the basic
fabric of existence that is simply beyond compare. One might even say, beyond imagination!
Just noticed the time. 5:28, of course. The universe sure shouts loudly when she has a point to make. I'm
only glad that I've been granted the ears to hear. What wondrous things have I been able to behold in the
past 2 years. I would not trade my experience for that of anyone even if I could. No, I am happy to be
whom that I AM, and to serve consciousness in whatever manner she directs. My body may be in this
realm, as are the works that spirit does through it; but, my essence, my soul is in another domain -- one
where UNITY exists in the midst of diversity, where each part of consciousness understands it's place
within the whole, and knows that there is only ONE consciousness that animates us all. The sparks only
appear to be independent because they cannot see their true connections to the whole. It's all a matter of
partitioning of information. This is the key that allows the illusion to be made manifest. It's not the
illusion that is important, however, rather the consciousness behind the illusion. Interesting that the world
would have things upside down and call the illusion, "reality." Interesting indeed.
17 Aug 95
A curious point from my chart yesterday. The reverse diagonal that starts at the top in the 95 column ends
at bottom in the 77 column at the number 16:The Tower, which actually is 3:16(77). This brought up John
3:16,
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever should believeth in him
shall not perish but shall have everlasting life.
If that's not exactly right, I'm sure it's close. What's even more curious, however, is that 77 is the base for
which 528 = 6:66.
What an intricate web consciousness has woven. How intriguing the depths of the connections and the
beauty of the patterns that result. How interesting that you only need open oneself to the universe and
allow consciousness to express through you without exerting personal control over that expression to reap
the great abundance that is there for all with the eyes to see and ears to hear. My forte has been turning
numbers into symbols with meaning, a very different meaning than mathematics applies.
The sense I have is that destiny is about to unfold before my very eyes at any moment. There is a sense of
completion, an "it is finished" kind of feeling. It's a new feeling, one that I haven't experienced in this way
before. Revolution -- major change, is the order of the day. I can feel it immediately around me, though I
know not the specific form that it will take. And, to a large degree, it matters not. What will be, will be. I
trust that consciousness will bring forth the conditions needed for my highest growth, and more
particularly to enable me to best achieve that which I came to accomplish for consciousness, or via
allowing consciousness to flow through me.
I still have no sense that I will remain at LSRS through the time of the move, however short term that may
be. The fortune taped to my wallet comes to mind: WHEN WINTER COMES HEAVEN WILL RAIN
SUCCESS ON YOU. Actually, I had to look to get it right. When I did, I found that there was another
fortune taped in a different location:
107
Soon you will be sitting on top of the world.

Both are extremely interesting. The chief question is whether the time indeed has arrived. This I'll know
soon enough. My sense is that it has, however. The practical matter of where does the money come from
to pay the bills is the only unsettled point. I have no doubt that consciousness solution will surprise and
amuse me, and will provide sufficient abundance to meet my needs. My job is to do what I am doing, to
give voice to consciousness to the greatest degree to which I am able at any given time and to work on my
own awareness level so that I can be of ever greater service to consciousness as time goes by.
My consciousness is soaring more than it has in quite some time. As an integrator, I have things hitting me
from several fronts, and I'm trying to make out the big picture from all of it. Part of the sense is that so
much is coming together that I'm overwhelmed -- no, blown away may be a better characterization.
Drew three tarot cards on an inner urge: 65, 61, then 72. Interesting, the sum is 3 x 66 = 198 = 2:42(78) =
2:30(84) = 2:22(88) = 2:20(89) = 2:16(91). It is DONE. This is JACKPOT. These five numbers constitute
my mission. It's interesting that the earthly complements (base 78) of the original three cards are
13:Death, 17:The Star, and 6:The Lovers. Interesting indeed.
It's also curious that this is coming out on Pg 36 = 13 + 17 + 6. The 88 completions are 23:K of Wands,
27:Ace of Wands, and 16:The Tower. Sum = 36 + 30 = 66.
18 Aug 95
45 x 45 = 2025. I didn't even need a calculator for this one. My 66 year does not officially end until April
of 2025. This is also why 45:Black Robe comes up so much for me. I forgot to note earlier that upon
arriving home yesterday, I pulled a single card from the deck. That card was 45:Black Robe.
48 x 48 = 2304. This needs to be read in the 04 - 32 context, span is 28 with center at 18:The Moon. How
perfect for a Lunatic. Also, my sun is at 18 Aries, putting my spiritual energy there as well. This
combining of Sun and Moon = 19 + 18 = 37 brings out the K of Cups with his throne riding on the
subconscious. It all ties together, perfectly. The web is masterfully weaved.
Lion Heart = 32 + 25 = 57 = ELLIS = Large heart pierced by three swords.
57 = 32 + 25 = 25 + 52 , quite interesting.
Even more curious, LION HEART = 50 + 52 = 102, the third triple sum from the R path of the "Y"
reading earlier. Adding ED to make LION HEARTED, we get 111 = 102 in the Death Base.
WINGED LION = 62 + 50 = 112, LION HEARTED + 1, also = LION HEARTED + ONE, but ONE = 34.
(How curious that I never realized that before!) 111+ 34 = 145 = 112(133).
Now, we have a new math.
wayne => Wayne => WAYNE
108
23 41 68
34 34 34 Add ONE
57 75 102 ELLIS HARTMAN LION HEART
09 09 09 Add The Hermit
66 84 111 LIFESPAN DESTINY LION HEARTED
King Richard "The Lion Hearted" spoken of in the time of Robin Hood.
From the Almanac, Richard I, "Coeur de Lion"; reign began in 1189 and lasted 10 years, until he died at
the age of 42. Note that 1189 = 11 11. Justice : Justice Exalted. The plot thickens.
That two very simple yet highly meaningful transformations, actually additions, to the three versions of
my first name [no caps, first cap, all caps] would result in all components of my name my life span, my
purpose, and even one of the years that my birthday is on Easter is simply amazing. Literally, there is not
a single piece of information that is not extremely meaningful and relevant to me.
19 Aug 95
It's interesting that I went straight to adding "ONE" rather than the path through "one" and "One".
Interesting indeed. "one" = 16:The Tower, "One" = 25:First Knight
23 => 41 => 68
16 16 16 The Tower = "one" 39 57 84
25 25 25 First Knight = "One" 48 66 93
34 34 34 Spirit Flying, Just Touching Ground 57 75 102
Only three new numbers come into the picture 39: Kn of Cups, 48: Man in Search of More, and 93: The
Devil Exalted, Lucifer the Light Giver. All extremely interesting. 93 = 84:The Lovers [my full name =
Destiny number] + The Hermit.
93 = 1:16(77) = 1:15(78) = 1:09(84) = 1:05(88) = 1:04(89) = 1:02(91)
Look at how powerful these numbers are. The Hermit in The Lovers base. The Hierophant in The
88:Completion base. The Tower in the 77:Falconer base.
The sense is one of deja vu. What is coming through now is the code that reveals to me my destiny. The
time has arrived for it to finally be unveiled. It's as if on the one hand there is a gusher of information
waiting to come out, and on the other, it's as if there is nothing to be said, only to be realized. What I
know is that the world as it is, is not the one that I came to live in, rather it is one that I came to transform
along with many others. All around me, I can see that consciousness is preparing the way.
Drew a tarot card. 45:Black Robe again. But, the figure was upside down. I believe it was the last time as
well, but I'm not certain. 45 is the distance from wayne to Wayne, also from hartman to Hartman. It also
struck me that the upside down position meant to look for it's completion, though the movie Black Robe
had powerful significance as well. 100 completion is 55:Ace of Swords, 88 completion is 43:Abundance,
78 Completion is 33:Christ [White Robe?].
109
Something of even greater significance came to mind. I'm walking the tightrope of Black Robe x 2 = The
Hermit x 10 = 90. This is the 529 line. 528 was close, within one on one account, but not close enough.
My initials weh reversed = 855 = 8:55 = 529. 56 7 89 = 7:65-89, sweep of 24, centered @ 7:77 JACKPOT
= 6:66 + 1:11 = The Beast + The Lion Hearted.
Isn't that interesting. 777 = the 84 Triangle = The Lovers Exalted.
Also, it's interesting that 529 = 528 + 1. Curious indeed. Pg 41. How appropriate for finding out such
important stuff.
Another day gone by quickly. Yet, I feel that it was an eye opener, so to speak. Not a lot of pages, but a
whole lot of insight. If and how that will be reflected in the notes remains to be seen. I do sense that I am
on a course with destiny, and that we are perfectly aligned. Further, we have been for some time, perhaps
all of my life. I can only say this with certainty for myself however. Thus far, I have no reason to believe
that what is true for me is universally true, or true for anyone else at all.
20 Aug 95
It's late, so we'll make this short tonight capturing the key observations of the day. First, watched 1492,
the story of Christopher Columbus' voyages. What caught me most was that he was an idealist and
dreamer. In one part of the film, he is talking to Don ??? and turns to the city and asks "what do you see?"
The reply is civilization, spires, cathedrals. Christopher's further reply is that it takes people like me, the
dreamers, to build such things.
21 Aug 95
Colors of the Wind, was the top adult contemporary song for the fifth week in a row. Further, it only took
it 3-4 weeks to move from off the chart to number one. It's a great song, with heavy metaphysical content.
It will be interesting to see how much this moves the mass consciousness.
My mind was extremely active coming into work. Noticed a 5555 and parked next to a 4444. However,
even more interesting, I broke down the name CHRIST = 3/11/29/38/57/77. This is why the 77 base is so
important, and why the 77 card, The Falconer carries such rich meaning. However, the lower case, or
single cap version Christ = 3/11/20/29/30/32. These numbers carry just as much meaning. I hadn't realized
that this was another meaning for the 32 Card.
I'm in a strange state of mind. I took my medication, and have not skipped any in over a week, but the
sense is that I'm here but not here. I'm not sure what to do about it, except to write. This seems to ground
me more than anything else, but it is also a two edge sword, making me soar even as I am grounded.
I no longer desire to be here. The sense is that the time has indeed arrived for me to begin the quest for the
fulfillment of my destiny. This is the first time that it has been revealed that such would indeed be a
"quest." Then again, it doesn't surprise me -- search, exploration, pathfinder, and wayshower are all terms
that resonate with the idea of a "quest." From that standpoint, I've known that this was to come, and have
been anxiously awaiting it's arrival. The time of destiny is at hand. Yet, it is the will of consciousness that
I must do, for I have no will of my own which desires that I do anything anymore other than what
110
consciousness would have me do. Yes, I say this, and the words ring true, but -- are they true in my heart?
Am I truly without ego, without personal desire. My immediate response is no. I still desire love and
personal intimacy. It is the one thing that I most desire, yet have not found satisfaction. Interesting that
this would be so for one whom The Lovers card is so prominent. Even the mirror over my bed has The
Lovers in porcelain on each side. The figures are beautiful and were fully intact until we hung the mirror.
I dropped a tool that broke the top of the male figure's head. We were able to repair the damage so it is
only noticeable on close examination. I didn't think about what this meant symbolically when it happened.
It has something to do with cracking through the conscious mind. I no longer sleep on that side of the bed,
indicating that my crack has taken hold, and that perhaps my wife needs a similar experience. In my case,
the physical crack happened nearly three years before the mental crack occurred.
I find it curious that 77 = the CHRIST base, one before 78, the Tarot completion base. TAROT = 20 1 19
16 20 = 20/21/40/56/76 = 76. How curious! Were moving backwards. HARTMAN fills in at 75. JESUS =
74 = the benefactor base.
Buddha = 2/5/9/13/21/22. This is my Heart's Desire. BUDDHA = 2/23/27/31/39/40. Note that the 77
complements are 55 and 37 respectively. Very interesting, especially if we swap the complements. 22 + 37
= 59 and 40 + 55 = 95 = 17: The Star Exalted. 59 and 95 is more than a coincidence.
[ADDED 4/13/98: bu | dd | ha = 23 | 44 | 81, this is of a similar format to my name 23 | 44 | 74 The

sense is that this signifies a "family" relationship. If we add jr to the end, we get 23 | 44 | 74 | 84.
Even more interesting, if we transform hartman => h(e)artman we get 23 | 44 | 79 | 89.]
So, what does 78 and 88 correspond to:
JUSTICE = 10/31/50/70/79/82/87 = The Hermit Exalted.

TRUTH = 20/38/59/79/87 = The Hermit Exalted again.
BEAUTY = 02/07/08/29/49/74 = JESUS
WEALTH = 23/28/29/41/61/69 = Ace of Pents, Spiritual Abundance
RIGHT = 18/27/34/42/62 = Blindfolded Lady, bound by VII
WRITE = 23/41/50/70/75 = HARTMAN
WRITTEN = 23/41/50/70/90/95/109 = Christ in the CHRIST base (77)
SOPHIA = 19/34/50/58/67/68 = WAYNE

WISDOM = 23/32/51/55/70/83 = The Hierophant Exalted
LOVERS = 12/27/49/54/72/91 = Death Exalted. How strange!

FRIENDS = 06/24/33/38/52/56/75 = HARTMAN, once again.
NOTES = 14/29/49/54/73 = Truth lies within.
Well, I didn't find what I thought I was looking for, but the journey was well worth it anyway. I have a
path from these NOTES = 73, to 74:JESUS[weh], to 75:HARTMAN, to 76:TAROT, to 77:CHRIST. It's
also quite interesting that both TRUTH and JUSTICE come out to be 87:The Hermit Exalted.
Off the top of my head, I can't think of --- yes I can, what about DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY from
MacArthur's famous speech.
111
DUTY = 04/25/45/70 = Big Shiver, The Juggler, 528
HONOR = 08/23/37/52/70 = Twice in a row, The Juggler again.
COUNTRY = 03/18/39/53/73/91/116 = 1:28(88) = 1:38(78)
Adding these last three yields 256 = 16 x 16 = 28. How interesting, 28: The Man with the World in His
Hands. It's curious that this number, and factors of 2 in general are so important to computer science.
What other phrases come to mind of such significance?
CONSCIENCE = 03/18/32/51/54/63/74/88/91/96 = The Moon Exalted

CONSCIOUS = 03/18/32/51/54/69/90/109 = Christ in CHRIST base
If we add NESS to the end of CONSCIOUS, we add 14/19/38/57. WOW, look at the partial sums. Also,
of course the total would be 57:Large Heart Pierced by Three Swords.
109 + 57 = 166 = 2:12(77) = 2:10(78) = 1:82(84) = 1:78(88) = 1:77(89)
Interesting numbers, yes indeed. Also noticed that the small case yields some interesting results as well.
"conscious" = 03/09/14/15/18/27/33/36/37 = K of Cups. Now, how do the prefaces sub- and super-
qualify that. "sub-" adds 6 to make 43, "super-" adds 25 to make 62. That's why the whole concept of the
superconscious attracts me so. "-ness" adds another 12, resulting in 49, 55, and 74 respectively.
37 + 43 + 62 = 142 = 1:64(78) 49 + 55 + 74 = 178 = 2:22(78)
Lesson: choose whatever bases serve you. Allow the numbers to guide you toward the most effective
course of action. Trust yourself and us to guide you on your way. Know that you are doing our work now,
and we will not lead you astray. Believe regardless of what your senses may say at a given time.
Consciousness is truly at work, and the Play will indeed unfold as has been planned, however it is through
cooperation that this happens, not through a set in concrete predestination. It served you and us for you to
accept that model for awhile. However, such models have limited validity. Their purpose is to enable
leaps of faith that could not otherwise take place. Yours was a major leap indeed, so the perceived lack of
freedom in making the leap was critical. For you to do what you have done in the past 30 months, you had
to let go in a major way, and you could only do that by being convinced from your own observations, that
you had no choice and by developing a radical faith in your inner Self, or in your case "Consciousness
Herself" as you call it. At this point, what is right doesn't matter. What does matter is what is most useful
for your spiritual growth, and for realizing and carrying out the mission fo which you came. Unlike most,
you did not come simply to learn about self, and gain some experience. No, you came to assist in
transitioning the world into a New Age and new way of being. The two go hand and hand. The New Age
cannot dawn until the corresponding transformation of consciousness occurs. The overall timing is set.
The key events are all laid out. However, their execution requires some knowledgeable souls to blaze the
trail and lead the way. Many are ready to follow, they only need someone in whom they can trust to "lead
them to the promised land" so to speak.
Soon, you will be called on to do more than you have ever done. No, these notes are not enough. The
Hermit will indeed come down from the mountaintop and speak for consciousness a wisdom that comes
from the depth of your being. And, people of import will listen because they will know that what comes
forth comes not from a man of 37 years, but from a spirit that is eternal. And they will see and hear with
new eyes that spirit will give unto them. Yeah, verily it shall be. And, through the cooperation of such
beings, the world will be made anew in the flicker of an eye. So let it be written, so let it be done. It's been
awhile since I've written those specific words demanding action in line with what has been previously
expressed.
112
Yet, the words came through naturally, effortlessly. From whence such words come, I can only answer
Consciousness, and in this case probably Superconsciousness. I find it most interesting when the third
person tense is entered. There is a greater sense of separation at such times. It's a relatively rare state in
these notes, but one that is usually extremely meaningful.
So, is grandiosity getting the best of me again? My sense is no, it isn't. There is very little that I truly
desire in this world. So little, in fact, that it is frightening at times. I definitely qualify as being "not of this
world", however, for the most part I am not "in this world" either. I fear that what constitutes the World of
Reality for me only agrees in part with that of anyone else, and only in small part at that. Christopher
Columbus had maps of an ocean which was said to stretch infinitely to the west and was full of monsters
and demons of all sorts. He challenged the leading authorities of his day at a time when the inquisition
burned people with far less challenging ideas at the stake. Fortunately, for Christopher, the cost of his
voyage to the state was small compared to it's potential gain. The worst case being that the ships would
never find land and the sailors would come to their deaths at sea. I'm starting to develop maps of the
Nature of Consciousness and how reality is created. Thus far, these maps don't agree with anything that
I've seen from others. Some of the pieces are the same, however the meaning that I apply to them and the
way that I use them differ greatly. I'm not sure that map is even the right term yet. These are not things
that I can draw, nor even easily describe.
Much of this involves beliefs about the nature of the world, how these beliefs are connected to one
another, and how reality/illusion is created from these beliefs. Another part deals with the nature of
consciousness and how it operates and expresses itself in the world.
What makes me an expert on this? Twenty years of metaphysics for a start, encompassing several
seminars and over 1,000 books. Two plus years of extremely intense awakening experience [1993-
present], with over 1,000 pages of accompanying writings. I've lost track of the Ego deaths and
awakening experiences. So many happened so rapidly, that it was very difficult to pick up the pieces and
determine what was left when the bulk of the transformation was finally completed. The transformations
continue, however, at a greatly reduced pace. My sense is that everything was timed perfectly for my
unfoldment to occur when it did. This can easily be verified looking at my Astrological transits at the
time. As a Hermit, however, with very shallow relationships with the few people that I am involved with,
even two years later, no one in my circle of acquaintances understands either what I experienced, or the
massive changes in the way that I see the world as a result. Further, none of my metaphysical training
prepared me for what I was to experience. Actually, that's not quite right. The sense is that all of the
training enabled me to get through the experience without going crazy and ending up in an asylum
somewhere. None of it explained what was happening to me. From one standpoint, all of it was right, but,
at the same time each piece was incredibly incomplete, and there were not suitable links to understand
how they might be related.
My background, formally in Science/Math/Engineering and informally in Metaphysics, both equally

rigorous, allowed me to place my experiences in a context that others could not. It's as simple as that. All
my life, consciousness has set me up. It's not hard, the right thought here and there, a little bit of intuition
that one should read a particular book. A predisposition to math and numbers which later found practical
advantage in Numerology. All along, I was being prepared for the time written in the stars, set by the very
location, date and time of my birth -- a time of awakening. Actually, the initial three month square was
only the start of a series of events that continue my spiritual unfoldment at an accelerated pace. How this
applies to others, I do not know. At the very least, others born within a few days of when I was must have
experienced the same energies for change. However, my sense is that the specific manifestation would be
dependent on each person's state of awareness.
113
It is clear that the universe, that consciousness is speaking to me. Would this clarity be considered insanity
by others, I wonder. It doesn't appear to matter, however. My particular reality does not yet seem to
involve the right others. There is a sense that last week's action may produce some type of result. Exactly
what type, I won't know until it happens. More and more, I'm feeling that any sort of a regular job won't
work. I'm finding it difficult enough just keeping it together where I'm at now for another several months.
I can't picture myself moving from my present location to the other building. Consciousness, not I will
determine if it happens. But, I have no sense that I will move somewhere else for the final four months
before my current job ends. Rather, the sense is that a new position will move me before that time. The
question then becomes one of what kinds of things would I do? Here, what comes through is that it is time
to do what I came to do, period. Exactly what that is still remains to be revealed.
TRUST. Know that you will be placed exactly where you need to be to do what you need to do and to
meet your obligations. Follow what consciousness, through your own intuition, would have you do,
whatsoever that might be. Be willing to risk whatever it might take. Watch your attachments, and keep
them to a minimum. You've realized that your life is your mission. This doesn't apply to all, only to a
select few who come to play specific roles. You've known since high school that your children would
come from consciousness rather than from your loins. There has never been a deep sense of family past,
and definitely no desire to carry one forward. It is interesting that this is the case. I don't know how many
times I've referred to myself as The Hermit, and such, indeed, is what I am -- though I've been married
nearly eight years and though I work with others at my job. [though only a handful or two of others on a
regular basis.]
INTUITION = 09/23/43/64/73/93/102/117/131 = 1:43(88) = 1:42(89)

TRUST = 20/39/60/79/99 = The World Exalted = 1:22(77)
PSYCHIC = 16/35/60/63/71/80/83 = The Hierophant Exalted
NUMEROLOGY = 14/35/48/53/71/86/98/113/120/145 = 1:68(77) = 1:57(88)

ASTROLOGY = 01/20/40/58/73/85/100/107/132 = 1:55(77) = 1:44(88)
PSYCHOLOGY = 16/35/60/63/71/86/98/113/120/145
PSYCHIATRY = 16/35/60/63/71/72/92/110/135 = 1:58(77) = 1:47(88)
PHILOSOPHY = 16/24/33/45/60/79/94/110/118/143 = 1:66(77) = 1:55(88)

METAPHYSICS = 13/18/38/39/55/63/88/107/116/119/138 = 1:61(77) = 1:50(88)
-OLOGY = 74:The Benefactor.
INTERNET = 09/23/43/48/66/80/85/105 = 1:28(77) = 1:17(88)
ARCHITECTURE = 01/19/22/30/39/59/64/67/87/108/126/131 = INTUITION

SCULPTURE = 19/22/43/55/71/91/112/130/135 = PSYCHIATRY
The INTERNET has some extremely meaningful numbers for me. The Hermit/Wayne/ Abundance/ Man
in Search of More/ Q of Pents/ High Priestess Exalted/ Chariot Exalted/ Man with World in His Hand in
the CHRIST base. Very meaningful indeed.
SETH = 19/24/44/52 = Q of Swords RAMTHA = 18/19/32/52/60/61 = VII of Sword
Seth = 19/24/26/34 = ONE! Ramtha = 18/19/23/25/33/34
seth = 01/06/08/16 = The Tower ramtha = 09/10/14/16/24/25 = First Knight
114
THE RAM = RAMTHA + 4 = 65 = K of Pents The Ram = 33 + 23 = 56 = Balance/Justice
the Ram = 15 + 23 = 38 = VISION the ram = 15 + 14 = 29 = light
VISION = 22/31/50/59/74/88 = As above, so below.
TELEVISION = 20/25/37/42/64/73/92/101/116/130 = 1:53(77) = 1:42(88)
Look at the numbers that are showing up. These are the same numbers that I see on a regular basis. In
fact, they are becoming so common that I literally expect them to show up and am surprised when they do
not.
WEHJ = 228 = 2:74(77) = High Priestess:Benefactor[also, JESUS] in the CHRIST base. WEH = 200 =
2:46(77) = High Priestess:Happy Home in the CHRIST base.
1776 + 200 = 1976, year that I graduated from H.S. + year Jamie was born. 1776 + 228 = 2004, one year
before the first year that my birthday falls on Easter.
This is 3 years before the completion of three cycles of 77 since 1776, an event that will occur in 2007. 20
- 70, sweep of 50, centered @ 45:Black Robe, the number that came up twice this weekend. This is also
the complement of 32:christ (I AM race) in the CHRIST base. Interesting!
Flight 529 came down in an open farm field. Only three died, including the pilot, out of over 30 that were
on the plane. 529 caught my attention immediately because of it's proximity to 528 and the fact that I
spent considerable time on it this weekend. 529 is 8:55, reversed = weh.
MOON = 13/28/43/57 Laugh! Of course! I am highly amused. = Death / Man with World in Hand /
Abundance / Heart Pierced by 3 Swords
The CHRIST complement of THE MOON is 20:JUDGEMENT.
SUN = 19/40/54 Laugh again! Here comes the SUN. That's the 54.
19 is completed by 58:Peace. I was born in 1958. Curious. 40 is completed by 37:K of Cups,

consciousness. 54 is completed by 23:K of Wands, also wayne and Ashland.
STAR = 19/39/40/58 Interesting! 1958 shows up again! HERMIT = 08/13/31/44/53/73 Interesting,

completion = 04:The Emperor. CHARIOT = 03/11/12/30/39/54/74 Completion = 03:The Empress.
KING = 11/20/34/41 Interesting, completion = 36:Gathering Strength
QUEEN = 17/38/43/48/62 Curious partial sums, completion = The Devil
KNIGHT = 11/25/34/41/49/69 Completion = 8: Strength. PAGE = 16/17/24/29 Completion = 48:Man in
Search of More.
Note that king is contained in the first 4 letters of knight, only the i and n are reversed!
It's interesting that QUEEN = 62, a card that I gravitate to that is near the top of my "A" reading. Also, 62
reversed = 26 = GOD. The 35 configuration of swords on the 62 card has a completion of 42: Couple with
115
Winged Lion above the Caduceus. Also, the bindings in the form of VII have a CHRIST completion of
70: The Juggler [528].
528 = 16:00(33) [also, 22 x 24] This is The Tower! Period. It's happening now. 529 = 232. Why hadn't I
noticed this before. This is [Ashland]2. The question is what must occur to bring this down to earth.
23 x 25 = 575 = eye = Vision. This is the first three numbers of my SSN.
576 = 242. This appears to be where we are headed. It's interesting that the difference between this and
the earlier 528 and 529 figures are 48: Man in Search of More and 47: ASLAN.
It's interesting that 29 is coming up so much lately. If the lifespan information is correct, this is the
number of years that I have remaining to accomplish my purpose in this lifetime.
This is the transition that I am here to help bring about. The fact that Vision 575 stands between things
provides proof that I am on the right track. There is a question of timing, however. Obviously we are not
speaking in years. 528 has not yet arrived. It is highly unlikely that 529 will occur within a year of 528,
though things may indeed move very fast once things start to fall. Reaching 576, however is a different
matter. It doesn't make sense that it will take an additional 47-48 years. Everything within me tells me that
it won't. I just noticed that 575 from the inside out is 755 = 528. There is no step. It's the same 528 as
before. There's the leap of consciousness that carries us outside of time to create what must be when it
must be.
Further, 576 by the same inside out reading yields 7:56. Yes, this is 428, but it is also the two drivers of
my triangle readings. It's amazing that a few simple readings done at a time before I knew much of
anything about what the Tarot was about continue to be crucial to unveiling a destiny that I know little
about, yet fully trust consciousness to reveal in its due time. The triangle readings in particular seem to be
most important from a mission or destiny standpoint. Much that has been unveiled today may help in
providing a fresh interpretation that reveals additional information. We'll see what comes through in the
days to come.
This has been an unusual day. I was unable to concentrate on paid work for the entire day. It's been nearly
two years since the mania has been that bad. At least the time was productive from a notes standpoint.
Hopefully, consciousness will move me into a new position soon, where this becomes my vocation rather
than avocation. I don't mind working, and working hard; but, I'd prefer to be doing my own thing,
sponsored by someone who realizes the value and importance of the ideas that I have to bring through.
22 Aug 95
A new day. And then there were ten. I am compelled again to start my day with writing. Yesterday, thus
compulsion lasted the entire day. It's hard to justify work burn-out after a three day weekend, but such is
how I felt regardless. It doesn't have to make sense anymore. I am compelled to do what I must do. Right
now, that is to write these notes. What it will be tomorrow, or even an hour or two from now, who knows.
A lot of interesting stuff came through yesterday. Both the quantity and the quality blew me away. I don't
know how else to describe it. It's definitely been a long time since so much has come through in one day,
even if it was a long day. The focus remained throughout. However, as always, the pages as written are
my memory. My mind is a blank slate. I could not recall much of what I wrote about, no matter how hard
I tried. Some of the number stuff could probably be reconstructed. But why, it's already been recorded.
That was the work for 8/21. A new day, 8/22, has dawned. It remains to be seen what it has in store.
116
22:Fool Complete day on 30:Camelot date on 54:The SUN[dmy]. These are some very interesting
numbers. 22+30 = 52, and 30+54 = 84:The Lovers Exalted.
Something tells me this day has many revelations to bring to light. Yesterday, 8/21 was a day of light.
Today should correspondingly be a day of might. Tomorrow follows as a day of night. Perhaps, the Devil
and Death cards will be more fully revealed then, though 15+13 = 28. How interesting. IGHT =
9+7+8+20 = 44
FIGHT = 6 + 44 = 50 Hmm.
HEIGHT = 8 + 5 + 44 = 57
LIGHT = 12 + 44 = 56 Amazing!
MIGHT = 13 + 44 = 57
NIGHT = 14 + 44 = 58
PLIGHT = 16 + 12 + 44 = 72
RIGHT = 18 + 44 = 62 Very interesting!
SIGHT = 19 + 44 = 63 Hmm. Not sure what to make of this.
TIGHT = 20 + 44 = 64
WEIGHT = 23 + 5 + 44 = 72
IGHT => ight results in reduction from 44 => 26.
Fight = 6 + 26 = 32
Light = 12 + 26 = 38 VISION.
Might = 13 + 26 = 39
Night = 14 + 26 = 40 Interesting, because I do much of my work at night.
Right = 18 + 26 = 44 Curious.
Sight = 19 + 26 = 45 Black Robe. Here he's tied to sight.
Just noticed sight = 1+26 = 27. I had never really understood the Ace of Wands before.
It's interesting that the difference between Sight and Light is 7:The Chariot. Further, it's also curious that
LIGHT = 56, the driver of my inverse triangle reading. It's also amazing that of all numbers RIGHT
comes out to 62, Right to 44, and right to 35. Aha, that's why 35 is important as well.
Looked down at the time 8:55 = hew, weh reversed = 529. More confirmation that the path we are on is
one of truth. We'll get there when the time is right. I sense that I'm revisiting old ground, but in a new way.
I know I've done some of the calculations above before. I don't know exactly when, however, so
researching them would get in the way of simply doing them anew. Besides, I am prone to mistakes here
and there so it doesn't hurt to redo a calculation here or there. Interesting way of looking at things, but you
might say I abhor research. I much prefer allowing consciousness to come forth as she will pure and
unafraid, without the constraints and straitjackets of any ideologies. Is it that I make my own truth? No, I
wouldn't go that far. What I find seems to already have been there whether any other had yet noticed it or
not. I would not claim it for my own, for truth must be free and will not be shackled for very long. I relay
what I find, at least the parts that consciousness is able to pass through me. From that standpoint, I am a
scribe. This is a position that I have held before. In the courts of Egypt comes to mind, but I sense
elsewhere as well though I can give no name to where and when.
HU = 8/29 CHRIST Completion = 48:Man in Search of More

ECKANKAR = 5/8/19/20/34/45/46/64 CHRIST Completion = 13:Death
117
How interesting that these numbers would come out like this. Especially since I was involved with
ECKANKAR for several year in the late 70's, early 80's.
WEH = 23/28/36 CHRIST Completion = 41:Ace of Cups [Wayne]
HEARING = 08/13/14/32/41/55/62 Now isn't that amazing. Look at the partial sums.
Interpretation. Hearing is my connection with RIGHT, also = 62. It seems useful to consider the
complement partial sums for this sequence. [69/64/63/45/36/22/15] Quite a mixture. Some easy, but just
as many challenging. The one at the end 15:The Devil is the least understood in my framework. There is
no fear, because I know it's powers to be based on illusion, and more particular, upon our choice to be
bound by loose chains.
DEVIL = 04/09/31/40/52 Wouldn't you know! Completion 25:First Knight LUCIFER =

12/33/36/45/51/56/74 Even more surprising. The Benefactor. The Empress.
LIVED = 12/21/43/48/52 That's better. Just reverse it!
Lucifer as the light-giver appears to be all positive. The CHRIST completion for LIVED is 25: First
Knight. I think it is time to see the movie.
LIVED = Hanged Man / World / Abundance / Man in Search of More / Q of Swords
For the Q of Swords. Q = 62 and SWORDS = 98, total = 160 = 2:06(77)
160 = 2:06(77) = 2:04(78) = 1:76(84) = 1:72(88) = 1:71(89)
File Size = 22 59 87 = The Fool Complete : Aquarian Age : The Hermit Exalted 59:22-87, sweep of 65,
centered at 59:54-55.
522-987, sweep of 465, centered at 7:54-55. 628 - 528. There it is again, this time hidden in a way that I
almost missed it. But consciousness wouldn't let it rest until I saw what I was meant to see. Such is the
story of my life right now. Consciousness is in command. It is her that I trust and obey, for I know that
what is in her best interest is in mine also. At some level, we are ONE, and though I don't feel that
awareness most of the time, the few times that I do are enough to suffice. I have so laid down my will that
I definitely feel as the 64 card and as it's CHRIST complement, the 13:Death card. And, for this, I receive
the LIFE of spirit, doing whatsoever spirit would do through me.
SPIRIT = 19/35/44/62/71/91 1:14(77) = Death Exalted. Interesting. Of course.

LIFE = 12/21/27/32 christ, CHRIST complement = 45:Black Robe.
Notes = 14/20/22/27/28 notes = 05/11/13/18/19 Interesting partial sums for all three.
Seton = 19/24/26/32/37
What more is there for me to bring forth at this time. My faculties at at your command, ready to do your
bidding. The numbers and the connections are creating a web that is larger than I can consciously
comprehend. I observe how each piece enters my awareness and appears to get its due recognition and be
put in it's proper place. Then, it feels as if I am free to move on to whatever is next. It's strange, there is no
sense of having to do research or go back to past writings unless I desire to do so for the pleasure of
reading them. What comes now follows from what came before, but not necessarily in any logical way.
118
Consciousness is not limited to such in her expression. And, it's a good thing. For, much that is true defies
logic or logical explanation. Interesting that this would be so in the Western World especially which prides
itself on logic and reason, though it is not at all clear from it's behavior that it lives in accord with what it
holds in such high repute. My background in mathematics, science, and engineering makes me more than
qualified to comment in this area.
I still have to pinch myself to see if this is all real. The sense is that I live in a world, Wayne's World, that
is different than most -- perhaps even different than all. I do things, speak about things, and believe things
that by most accounts would make me "crazy" or "looney". Yet, despite these things I can operate within
the "normal" world on their terms as well. Further, for the most part, I'm able to do so in a controlled
manner. This doesn't make any of the other stuff go away, not in the least. In fact, overall, it's the other
stuff that I consider to be my interface to the spiritual world. Thus far, it's been through symbols,
primarily numbers. Others must have tapped into this interface. It's there for anyone to see or hear, "if
only they have the eyes to see and ears to hear."
EYES = 05/30/35/54 = SUN

SEE = 19/24/29 = HU, CHRIST completion = 48:Man in Search of More
EARS = 05/06/24/43 = Abundance, CHRIST completion = 34: ONE
HEAR = 08/13/14/32 = LIFE, CHRIST completion = 45:Black Robe
Interesting, SEE is contained within EYES, but HEAR is not contained within EARS.
ENOCH = 05/19/34/37/45 = Black Robe

DEATH = 04/09/10/30/38 = VISION, CHRIST completion = 39: Kn of Cups
WHITE = 23/31/40/60/65 = K of Pents, completion = 12:Hanged Man
2184 = 28:28(77) = 28:00(78) = 26:00(84) How's that for an interesting final four of a SSN.
So, where is all of this leading? I'm making a lot of interesting connections and observing a lot of things,
but to what end. Looking up the central A in DEATH struck my attention. Converting to numbers 45 1 28
= 1:28-54, span of 26, center at 1:41, that's the Ace of Cups Exalted [Wayne]. No wonder 13:Death is so
prominent in both my "A" and "X" readings.
Just noticed that backing up one more step, 2184 = 28:56(76). This is the 28 triangle number. So, my
entire SSN is 575-68-2184. We've already seen the importance of both the first three and the last four. The
middle two are a piece of cake. 68 = WAYNE to begin with. It's CHRIST completion = 09:The Hermit. 68
also = PAGE PENTACLES = 29 + 95 = 124 = 1:47(77). ASLAN Exalted, how appropriate. Further, the
PAGE has 48: Man in Search of More for it's completion. 95 = 77 + 18:The Moon. Completion for 18 =
59: Aquarian Age.
You might say that I am a man out of control. My sense is that I am very close to losing it, on the edge so
to speak. Yet, I trust that consciousness will keep me safe and sane; though, I'm not sure how to judge that
anymore. It is not that I'm not competent. For, I am very much so. It is that I have no direction or interests
other than to serve consciousness. And, in this service, I am much like 62:The Blindfolded Lady bound by
VII. I don't know what is coming next. I have little idea of where I am going and only a few stimuli to go
by. Yet, I move onward anyway, trusting that consciousness will open the way and provide me with
whatever I need to know when it becomes necessary. From the recent page counts, it appears that
consciousness is indeed telling me something. Consciously, however, I'm still only seeing the pieces.
119
Many pieces, but pieces nonetheless. So, how do I step back or fly above to see the whole picture? That
seems to be the key. Quit struggling with the details and see the entire territory before you.
You might say that one phase of your preparation is complete. All of the pieces have been planted, most of
the connections have been made. It's up to you to turn it into a WORLD, ONE WORLD that unites all that
you have experienced, seen, and heard.
WORLD = 23/38/56/68/72 CHRIST completion = 5:The Hierophant!
Look at the partial sums: wayne / VISION / truth&justice / WAYNE / 66 triangle It truly is Wayne's
World. [41+1 45 Total = 87 = The Hermit Exalted(78)]
VERSE = 22/27/45/64/69
UNIVERSE = 21/35/44/66/71/89/108/113
In the restroom, there was an Air Force Times with a Capt Alvord on the cover. I was meant to make a
connection between the cover and my last address 2728 Alvord.
2728 = 27 2 8 = 7:33, The Chariot : Christ. 27 and 28 are interesting numbers, much more so when
connected to one another in sequence.
ALVORD = 01/13/35/50/68/72 Same as WORLD with different partials.

LORD = 12/27/45/49 CHRIST completion = 28. How interesting.
ORLD = 15/33/45/49 Slightly different partial sums including Christ and The Devil
It's curious that W = AV. It's even more curious that 15:The Devil + 33:Christ Consciousness = 48: The
Man in Search of More.
I'm still missing something. I sense that I only made part of the connection. 2728 = 35:33(77) = 32:40(84)
= 31:62(86) = 31:00(88) = 30:58(89) = 44 x 62, hmm. Note the 31 triangle in base 86 = 77 + 9:The
Hermit.
I just had a sense that the 28 triangle in the 76 base doesn't do any good. My parents brought us to get our
SSN cards when we were in Hawaii in '69. That is when the clock started ticking. 2184 is the number I
was born with, so to speak, as in astrology. Clicking at one number per year, we're up to 2210 now, and
will be at 2212 = 28 x 79 = 28 x 77 + 56 = 28:56(77) = 28 triangle (77) in the year 1997. The 28 triangle
in the CHRIST base is significant.
I may be off a year in my count. I could have gotten the card as late as '70 in which case, the year 1998
would be a major transition year for me.
Once again, we have a major event occurring in 1996. They seem to be really building up. The immediate
sense I get is The World Exalted : The Tower. Further, it appears to be hitting me before it hits others. I
know this is because I chose to usher in this time. There is nothing else more important -- indeed, nothing
else that matters to me.
Just noticed that the sequence 28 => 56 => 84 : The Lovers Exalted characterizes me.
120
26 => 52 => 78 is not bad either,
25 => 50 => 75
32 => 64 => 96
37 => 74 => 111
17 => 34 => 51 => 68 => 85

19 => 38 => 57 => 76 => 95
21 => 42 => 63 => 84
22 => 44 => 66 => 88
11 => 22 => 33 => 44 => 55 => 66 => 77

12 => 24 => 36 => 48 => 60 => 72 => 84 This is the triangle path!
13 => 26 => 39 => 52 => 65 => 78 => 91
Pg 57 Ln 7.56. I don't know where this is leading, but it feels right. Even the position was 5.84 after the
period following right. I take these all as signs that I am indeed following consciousness lead and that I
am interpreting what comes through in a manner that is appropriate for the time. I do have to question
whether there will ever be a time when this material reaches people of like mind who can benefit from
what it has to offer. However, my more immediate concern is with what happens next. I am fully aware
now that my present job terminates in a little over seven months. I am also aware that my present state of
being is not conducive to managing another regular job. Further, however, I have no contacts and no leads
as to how I might provide my services to someone who can truly appreciate them. Yet, I know that it is
already written. Consciousness has it all under control. The appropriate circumstances will unveil
themselves at the right time yielding the position that I have been trained to fill all along.
No one that I know thinks in the way that I do. Yet, this doesn't bother me. I don't find it strange or
frightening in any way. Curious is the right description. It's interesting that my mind and belief systems
would work in the way that they do, without needing confirmation from outside sources [i.e. people]. At
this point, I have become so reliant on intuition and the sources within that I would find it difficult to give
credence to anyone outside. That is a very strong and bold statement to make. In fact, one that smacks of
the epitome of Ego. Yet, I bow completely to inner sources of which I am aware though I know not their
true nature or source. Over the course of the past two years we have developed an interface which allows
inner information to flow. For the most part, I don't even question it anymore. It has been right, or at least
useful so often that I know that I can place my trust in it. Besides, even if I wanted to question it, where
would I start? I know that this inner source is the place from which my very thoughts spring. Consciously,
I have learned that I am aware to some degree, but definitely not in control of that which I assume to be
me. Coming from a strong Ego nature, this was a very tough lesson to learn. Thy Will not Mine be done.
In reality, it cannot be otherwise, though it may appear so until the ego learns to let go and let
consciousness do what must be done.
It's interesting that such lessons are not taught en masse to all who will hear. Science and Religion might
have a bit of difficulty looking the other way while such blasphemes be broadcast to the public at large,
but the basic truths would ring true in the souls of the people. They would know the words to be right by
how they struck not their minds but their hearts. We are a people yearning to be free again, but where
freedom is defined in a manner that is different than before, a manner that provides the environment
necessary for the soul of each of us to express itself to whatever degree and in whatever way is most
appropriate. Such an environment has not yet existed on this planet. Yet, collectively we are at a time and
in a position where we can make it so -- and very rapidly at that. Cooperative interdependence is the key,
fostered by a social contract between all members of this society. This is an idea whose time has come. It
will be manifest. The drastic nature of the change may make the manifestation a challenging process, but
121
revolution will indeed seize the land -- not armed rebellion as in times gone by, but peaceful revolution
that establishes a new order based on a proper spiritual [not religious] foundation.
There are no real examples in history of such change. Yet, I am here to say without a doubt that peaceful
revolution will be the manner in which this change arises. It matters not whether there has been prior
precedent or not. So let it be written, so let it be done. As to when, it would seem that looking back from
'99, the bulk of the change will have been completed. We have an election coming in '96. It will be
interesting to see who is selected to take the country through this trying time. I've sent my ideas to several
of the major candidates. The Republicans seem to have gone way off the deep end to the Far Right.
Besides, Senator Dole does not come across as Presidential material for the Foundation of Camelot. For
one thing, he's way too old. I'm still not sure about President Clinton. He seems to be in need of a major
spiritual awakening if he is to be the one. Stranger things have happened. Dole's a bit old for a walk-in at
this point. That's still a viable possibility for Clinton. My overall sense is that he'll meet his Devil, Truth
head on in a way that moves support his way. It seems that a third party run or endorsement is needed to
take some wind out of the GOP sails, but they're also in a position to cut their own throat if they aren't
more careful and veer more toward the middle.
Just when I think that there is no more to say, another thought or another connection comes to mind. I
write and write and write, trusting that what comes through needs to be said, and further, has meaning that
cannot otherwise be expressed. I am a voice of consciousness. Thus far, lacking feedback, I can't even say
how good of a voice. Yet, I am compelled to sit here and write anyway, not having a clue as to what will
be expressed -- and whether it will be either coherent or meaningful. But I continue. For, there is a sense
that consciousness has something to express through this vessel. And, if I allow her sufficient time, she
will indeed express. I no longer am able to separate what I would express from what she would express. I
have no conscious sense of creation in this process. I do get a feeling of distance, however. Sometimes the
source is close; at other times, it feels as if it is miles away. Except the distance is an inner one, not and
outer one.
In one sense, all expression is the expression of consciousness. However, in another sense, the greater
expression of consciousness requires the opening of inner pathways or channels that allow the creative
energy (spirit) to flow through form into expression in your world.
Well, that was an interesting way of stating things. I wonder if any of the seeds sent out last week will
find fertile soil, take root, and sprout. Further, how long might it take before I hear anything back? I know,
the Play will unfold as written in its proper timing. I can wonder all that I want. It won't change a thing.
That still doesn't squelch my curiosity. Even thinking about a new job seems ludicrous. I just can't see
myself working in any particular line of work except as scribe to consciousness at the moment.
Philosopher King might be nice down the road. Working out the big picture. Establishing the ideas that
form the foundation for revolutionary change. That is what excites me more than life itself. It's as if we're
at the time of our Founding Fathers and the challenge before us is to build a new social order that works
in the world today with all of its complexities and problems. Create the VISION, then Make It So. That is
the job that I have trained for all of my life. How do I get that across in a resume. And, who's empowered
to hire me to do such a job? My will is Thy Will. If such is to be, it will be, for you will make it so as you
have always done in my life.
23 Aug 95
It seems that I'm not quite tuned in. I'm still flying high. It's not clear when I'll come down again. At the
same time, there is a strong sense that it does not matter. I found out that convening of a constitutional
122
convention is no simple thing. It requires 2/3rds = 34 of the states. Now isn't that interesting. 2/3 of 50 =
ONE. There is something very funny in that. Prior to 1957, 32 would have done it. With Alaska(at 49),
this increased to 33. With Hawaii (at 50), we now need 34. Curious that I would be born there, in Hawaii,
at a time when it was still a territory, not yet a state.
As with many other things in my life, here is another curiosity, a peculiarity. Lately I've found that it is
best not to take such things too lightly, for they often carry great meaning. Actually, anymore, it seems
that virtually everything carries great meaning. What can I say? That's how I see the world now. There is
no button that enables me to turn it off, and no knob or switch that allows me to change the channel. This
is my reality, period. Whether it is like that of anyone else has no bearing anymore. I am a ship at sea, be
it in a sea of consciousness, steering by an inner sense of intuition that is my only compass, trusting that it
will eventually lead me to whatever destination my destiny would have me reach. Unlike Columbus,
however, I don't appear to have a crew. I am alone on my voyage. I'm not sure that I could have one any
other way or that I would even if I could. Looked over at the clock. Time was 12:12, The Hanged Man
Twice. Curious, that's all. Interesting. I do see the world upside-down from how most view it. Yet, this
bothers me not in the least. In fact, it pleases me to no end -- for I believe that in doing so, I see rightly.
It's quite humorous overall. Yet, there is a sense that should I carry it too far a straightjacket might be in
order along with some padded white walls. So, how do I express as fully as I must that which I AM, while
steering clear of those who might take offense to my expressions, or the expressions of consciousness
through me. All that I can do is trust that consciousness knows what she is doing and will orchestrate the
way as required to accomplish whatever needs to be done. We're back to the issue of TRUST at a major
level. For me, there really is no other choice. I have renounced my will to do as consciousness would
direct. As a Hermit, my sources of outside information and outside help are virtually non-existent.
Consciousness is it. She has guided me all through my life to date, and the guidance grows stronger with
each word and page that comes through and with each passing day. My experience is that she has more
than earned my trust, teaching me things at a rate that far surpasses anything that I had previously
experienced. Further, what I am learning is not expressed in any books of which I am aware, rather it
comes direct from a source that is non-physical -- able to express through me because I am aware and
permit the expression to take place as it does.
I carry on and on, not really knowing whether the words that flow will be seen by eyes other than my
own. I sense that they will, and I disseminate some of them out, but thus far I have yet to receive any
specific feedback on the Notes, on the Beyond Imagination book, or on the Briefings. Yet, this appears to
be part of my training as well, to continue to work tirelessly though by all appearances my work yield no
fruit. This is part of the 75 lesson, reaping a lot of leaves but no fruit for awhile. But the 75 eventually
reduces [by 45:Black Robe] to 30 : Camelot. Also 55 splits into 30 : Camelot + 25 : First Knight, CHRIST
completed by The Fool Complete!
I'm out of control again. Consciously, I can try to will myself away from the notes, but it is impossible to
stay away. It is as if this is what I am supposed to be doing right now, period. No questions, no exceptions.
This is where my consciousness resides right now, it cannot be in any other place doing any other thing. I,
that part of me that is conscious, am NOT in control. I observe and see that what occurs ultimately serves
me as well, and have seen it happen enough to know that the overall process is beneficial not harmful to
me, as psyche. Not that the circumstances haven't been a bit strange or outright overwhelming at times.
But, through each experience has come tremendous growth, and a greater awareness and grander world
view. One might say that I've learned to regard my inner components as compatriots though it is not clear
that I will ever see them by other than the results they produce in my life. Such is the way, trusting in that
which is unseen, because you know for a certainty that it is there. Such is the nature of consciousness. Her
effects can be felt, the more so the more that she is loved and trusted. Amazing. Yet, such is indeed how I
123
experience the world to work. And, for the most part, yes, consciousness is the world to me, one in which
I venture forth daily certain that I will return but uncertain as to where the days experience will have
moved my awareness. And, one thing that I can count on is that everyday, in some meaningful way, my
awareness will be altered.
How can this be? Not in control. That is ridiculous in a world of free will. That's exactly my point. My
will is not free. I don't know that it ever was, appearances to the contrary. However, even if it was at one
time, I freely chose to give it up very close to two years ago, and have followed with this same
pronouncement many times "not my will but Thy Will be done." Such is how I chose to live my life, if
indeed I have such choice. At least, such is the choice that I have appeared to make. And truly, now, I do
not have a will of my own that I would promote. No goals for which to work, nor dreams, except those
revealed to me from consciousness herself. Even at that, I still sense that my life is on autopilot, that there
is nothing that I can affect or control in any way. The Play has been written, and will be enacted as
written. Yet, something says there is more to it than that. The Play provides the overall context, but the
actors have to deliver their lines appropriately in time and tone. Further the emotional interplay has to be
right. Yet, all this is still worked out prior to the movie being finished so that it can be distributed and
watched. Is our play any different? Yes, it's in 3-D, and yes we have the added limitation of being
intimately associated with a particular form. However, we get the added benefit of really feeling like we
are this being. But, it's all consciousness, existing within various restrictions and constraints. It's all
consciousness, even the physical stuff. The question becomes: am I locked within the confines of flesh or
am I located primarily outside of flesh expressing through a body? My sense has always been that we are
spirit/consciousness having a physical experience, not the other way around. I'm aware that many would
disagree, arguing that we are physical beings, period and that there is no place for spirit within their
frameworks. This is a sad state of affairs that needs to be righted quickly.
So, when I told Dr Adolfo, "this is the book of my life", referring to Numerology and the Tarot, I was
more accurate than even I knew at the time. It's simply amazing. Yet, though I've learned so much, it's as
if I'm not meant to learn it in a way that would allow me to earn my living helping others individually.
Even after two years, I wouldn't know where to start. As a Hermit, I express a general good will to ALL,
and acknowledge the spirit within. But, there is a sense that I must remain aloof, apart from it all, if I am
to do the real work that I came to do on a countrywide, then on a global scale. How is it that I can feel this
way? What qualifications do I have? I AM THAT I AM. I can say this with no shame. I shall use all that I
AM to serve the WILL of Consciousness throughout the rest of my days. I have come to effect a peaceful
revolution that will pave the way for the dawning of a New Age. I belief that I will remain to see the
Dawn, but whether that is in the Plan or not does not really matter. What does matter is that a NEW WAY
of being is established that enables the Dawn of Aquarius.
NEW WAY = 14/19/42/65/66/91 = Death Exalted Appropriate!
With the tools at my disposal now, and consciousness to guide me, it's only a matter of needing to know
before the answers start coming. And as the biblical phrase goes "seek and ye shall find, knock and the
door shall be opened unto you, ask and it shall be answered". Maybe quote is a bit strong. The meaning is
basically there, but I wouldn't want to bet on the specific wording.
So we have connections and more connections, and more connections still. Yet, where is it all headed? I'm
a man possessed, on a mission with a specific destiny to fulfill. I'm also a man whose job of 6 years ends
in 7 months and who may have to change work locations as soon as 2-3 months even if only to a building
a few blocks away. Continuing my present line of work is out of the question. Given my present level of
124
awareness, what can I do that would be true to myself, and to consciousness to whom I have sworn to do
Her Will not mine. My sense is that I have reached my point of destiny, that moment in time that requires
a tremendous leap of faith in what has been coming through for two years now, and has been confirmed
for even longer than that from psychics, astrologers, and aura readers. I don't have time to be distracted by
taking a conventional approach. Yet, there is a bottom line risk that 7 months from now I'm without a job
and hence a paycheck. Is this a real risk. In Gini's mind, yes, very real. In my mind no, not even a remote
possibility. Is that Ego talking? I think not. Rather, I believe it's a faith in consciousness that knows no
bounds anymore. I only have to look back over my life to find countless examples that show
consciousness has been guiding my way all along.
I've always had strange beliefs -- even for Californian's, which is tough to do. However, now, my beliefs
are stranger than ever; so much so, that I would find it difficult holding down a regular job of any type
much longer. In fact, I can't see surviving another 7 months here. My heart is just not in it. And, if there is
anything that the last few years have taught me, it is that my Heart must be in it. Currently, the only thing
I can say that about is these notes, period. No people, no things, no activities or hobbies. Right now, these
notes are the only part of my life that is real.
So, what is the bottom line? Am I indeed mad? If not, from whence come such musings and to what
degree do we accept them as valid? We'll know soon enough by what happens in out world; but, more
importantly, how is it that one such as I could rattle on so. Especially given my extremely limited interest
in and exposure to people on a personal level. I find it interesting that I can care so deeply for the whole
world without having that same sense for each individual. Yet, I know that my talents specifically relate to
developing the big picture and coming up with the overall spiritual foundation that will allow everything
to work better. Further, much of this will come from getting the VISION, and then relaying it to others,
specifically showing them what is necessary to make it work. Others have been prepared for their own
roles in this process. It is clearly not a one person job. Further, if I can see consciousness at work subtle
moving the mass consciousness, others must be aware of this as well.
I keep getting the image of 28:The Man with the World in His Hand and the equation that the last four of
my SSN 2184 = 28:28(77:CHRIST base). Perhaps this means that I am the one to oversee the changes
that must occur. Something about this doesn't quite feel right, however.
I sense that consciousness is toying with me a bit. The bottom line is HERE and NOW, and ensuring that
each moment is lived fully. In my case "live" has a different connotation than it does for most others. To
each their own, however -- so long as they don't harm others. Clearly, I march to the beat of a different
drummer, or sit and think in my particular case. It's not done purposefully to be different, rather it's just
the natural expression of whom that I AM. Further, my nature is such that the communication abilities are
marked, and must find their rightful expression, wherever that might be. As of now, these notes suffice.
How much longer that will be remains to be seen. I know that communication is a key reason that I am
here. Mercury wouldn't be at the top of my chart were that not so.
As to avenues for work, that's a starting point. My biggest selling point is communications skills.
Technical communication might be an easy jumping off point. It seems that communication over the
internet and WWW is critical as well. I'll check on the cost of necessary upgrades this weekend. I can
learn as much as possible about the web while I'm still employed here and then consider what possibilities
make sense for the future, though I sense that consciousness has already taken care of this. It seems that I
must cooperate to give consciousness the tools she needs to be in a position to better guide me. Further, if
ideas are to get out, the web is probably the best manner to do so for the coming decade anyway. Between
125
bulletin boards and home pages on web sites for the masses, and individual communication via E-Mail;
this seems to be the way communication will be managed. Right now, it's one step at a time. Get set-up.
Get on-line. Then start learning as much as you need. Trust consciousness in assisting you in the process.
Remember, it is consciousness, not you, that is responsible for getting the right individuals to access the
right information at the right time. Regardless of what you do, there is nothing you can do to control these
things. Your job is to bring the information through and put it where consciousness tells you to. Not every
action is dictated by consciousness. Further, some actions are directed as a test of the medium and to teach
you not to be attached to outcomes, period. You do because you must do. What happens as a result is up to
consciousness not you. Further, don't count on cause/effect to play much of a role. Bluntly, it doesn't.
My overall sense is that I'm on a roll. I don't know where it's going overall, or even if it's making any
sense. However, none of that matters. I've reached a point where it's as if I'm drunk on consciousness. She
can bring forth whatsoever she will. My TRUST is complete. There appears to be a neverending flow of
words that can pour fourth, but I don't seem to have control of either the rate of flow or even if the flow
will occur. I do expect that when I am moved to open the notes file, consciousness has something to say.
My experience has been that this is indeed true. However, I do have times when the writing comes to a
halt. At such times, I know to stop -- and resume when spirit so moves me.
I still have an overall stunned feeling about the certainty in change of job that must occur in the next 7
months or so. From a metaphysical standpoint, in particular astrological, my third and final direct hit of
Pluto square Pluto occurs on 11/11.
PLUTO = 16/28/49/69/84 = 777triangle = Lover's Exalted, completion = 70 [528]

Pluto = 16/19/22/24/30 = Camelot, CHRIST completion = ASLAN
pluto = 07/10/13/15/21 = The World, CHRIST completion = 56
How amazing. But what is the square going to do? [pluto]2 = 441 [Pluto]2 = 900 [PLUTO]2 = 7056
Last 4 of SSN = 2184. On last trip to Big Sur, was behind truck number 8421 = SSN double digit reversed
= PLUTO pluto. Note that [PLUTO]2 = 7056 = PLUTO pluto where the underline equals the CHRIST
[base 77] complement. This is strange. It is more than coincidence. There is a sense that the three squares
have progressed in just this manner. It is also interesting that my last four of my SSN can be composed of
two forms of Pluto and the only missing one of the three is Camelot, which is so important otherwise --
for one example simply as the Tarot complement of 4/8, my birthday. Also, this middle component
squared has a clear tie to The Hermit, big time.
There is a sense that the final square will indeed bring forth 70 [528] and 56. Both of these appear on my
triangle readings. Further, this may mark the 528 point as well. I find it difficult to see how we can make
it from there to [Ashland]2 = 529 in a single year. But then 366 days is a long time, especially if every
minute gets "60 seconds worth of distance run" per Kipling.
On 11/11, the day my Pluto Square is exact, Pluto has just entered Sagittarius where it stays for about 20
years. Exactly two months later, on 1/11/1996 @ about 11:11 PM, Uranus reenters Aquarius where it stays
about 6 years.
uranus = 03/12/13/18/21/22 Period = 84 years = 7 years / sign

Uranus = 21/30/31/36/39/40
URANUS = 21/39/40/54/75/94
126
neptune = 05/10/17/19/22/27/32 Period = 168 years = 14 years/sign
Neptune = 14/19/26/28/31/36/41
NEPTUNE = 14/19/35/55/76/90/95
Neptune was the timekeeper for the past 300+ years. My sense of things is that the baton was passed
exactly two years ago when both planets were together for nearly three months. It worked out that at the
time this was happening, the conjunction was square to my natal Sun. To a large degree, this energy
triggered much of the change that I have undergone in the past two years. What is interesting is that in a
very real way I feel that I have personally experienced the revolution that the nation will have to undergo.
My only hope is that my work can help pave the way and smooth the path in a way that could not be done
for me. Being shocked out of one's sense of reality is a very trying experience, especially when there is no
one there to offer an alternative. In my case, 20 years of metaphysics was the parachute. Looking back
now, however, it's as if the parachute didn't open, or at least didn't open completely. There was simply
nothing there other than a deep and abiding faith that I could find the truth, know in my heart when I had
found it, and trust my intuition to guide me along the way.
You might say that I am still doing exactly that. I have no reference books to go by, neither have I
encountered any mentors on the way. Then again, that's not too surprising. One doesn't expect The Hermit
to get his information from without. The source of truth lies within, where it has always been.
Consciousness provides all that is necessary. She always has. Life unfolds perfectly. Everything happens
as it must for the appropriate lessons to be learned. Remember, the illusion is an elaborate schoolground.
The words continue to pour forth, though there is a sense of straining. However, there is no sense that I
should stop so long as there remains something to be said. I'm very curious as to how the coming 7
months will play out, and further how the rest of 1996 will unfold after that. My 38th birthday seems to be
a critical turning point. Heaven knows, this year has been extremely interesting. I have no reason to
suspect that anytime in the next decade will be any less so. The key question is how to place myself in a
position that effectively uses my skills [and awareness]. I didn't really have to worry about this 6 years
ago when I left the Air Force and secured my present position. In fact, the process was almost automatic.
There is no reason the current transition should be any different. Only now, the nature of my skills and my
awareness level are far different than they were then. The positions in which they can be used are not your
run of the mill jobs. Essentially, I need to find others who are in a Hanged Man state, who see the need for
what I have to offer and can pay what it takes to make it so. Geraldine said that money would not be a
factor in the implementation of whatsoever Beyond Imagination is here to create. It all comes back to
TRUST. Our bills and coins say IN GOD WE TRUST. I guess you might say that Consciousness is GOD
to me.
IN GOD WE TRUST 23 26 28 78 = 155 = 2:01(77) = 1:77(78) = 1:71(84) = 1:66(89)
WE, THE PEOPLE 28 33 69 = 130 = 1:53(77) = 1:52(78) = 1:46(84) = 1:42(88) = 1:41(89) = 1:39(91)
E PLURIBUS UNUM 05 118 69 = 192 = 2:38(77) = 2:36(78) = 2:24(84) = 2:16(88) = 2:14(89) =

2:10(91)
NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM 91 52 106 = 249 = 3:18(77) = 3:15(78) = 2:81(84) = 2:65(88) = 2:63(89) =
2:59(91)
I'm finding it difficult to believe that the monologue goes on and on and on. I have no way to know
whether I am repeating anything. I trust that consciousness is taking care of this since I don't consciously
127
organize much of anything in my life, surely not my memory and my thoughts or thought processes. I
leave it to intuition to guide me to apply specific processes. Even then, I am ever open to variations that
consciousness would apply to any particular instantiation in the search for the appropriate meaning. You
could say that symbols and messages from consciousness constitute the bulk of my reality. So much so,
that I am definitely not of this world, or nearly not in this world. Though, I sense that the later is about to
undergo dramatic change as I move into my new role, whatever that may be. My sense is that I am ready
for whatever it is that I am meant to do. Pg 68 Ln 7.56, even Pos 5.76 confirms this. Interesting, 576 is
756 from the inside out.
756 = 9:63(77) = 9:54(78) = 9:00(84) = 8:52(88) = 8:44(89) = 8:28(91)
Here's a link to [Pluto]2 in The Lovers Exalted base. Also, this links 756 to The Hermit!
24 Aug 95
Just before that I had calculated that [44]2 = 22:00(88) occurred in 1936, the year that my dad was born.
My birth occurred in 1958, 22 years later = 22:22(88) = 25:33(77). An additional 66 years brings me to
23:00(88) = 26:22(77). Both of these strike me as indicating that my mission complete at that time! How
curious.
VOID 22/37/46/50 Happily Ever After

Void 22/28/37/41 Ace of Cups = Wayne
void 04/10/19/23 Ashland = wayne
NOTHING 14/29/49/57/66/80/87 The Hermit Exalted

Nothing 14/20/22/30/39/44/51 K of Swords: CHRIST completion = 26:GOD
nothing 05/11/13/21/30/35/42 Couple with Winged Lion above Caduceus
This year, 37 years after my birth = 22:59(88) = 25:70(77). No wonder I'm being hit so hard by change.
It's coming at me on all fronts.
1995 = 21:84 (91). There is something very surreal about this. Death Exalted is a very important base for
me. That this particular year would line up with the last four of my SSN indicates to me that my destiny is
close at hand. Very close at hand since there are only four months left in 1995. 59, 70, 22, 25, 45, now
2184. This is blowing me away. The circuits feel as if they are ready to pop. At the same time, the fact that
the overall picture is coming together in this manner is unreal -- the associated feelings are incomparable.
It's as if I've been on the quest for the Holy Grail and have finally found it. Though, I am not yet certain of
what I have found other than the keys to the kingdom. I know not how things will manifest from this day
forward, but I am now a FREE MAN, for the TRUTH indeed has set me FREE as the motto at CalTech
promised. It only took me 20 years to find out, to realize, what it truly meant. I don't even recall the
mottos of USC and Stanford. Curious.
FREE = 06/24/25/34 = ONE

Free = 06/15/20/25 = First Knight
CALTECH = 03/04/16/36/41/44/52 = Q of Swords: CHRIST complement = 25

Caltech = 03/04/07/09/14/17/25 = First Knight, CALTECH complement!
128
CALTECH and Caltech are the CHRIST [base 77] complements of one another. Very strange. Yet, very
appropriate. 52 is my personality number. 25 is my ray makeup. No wonder I was drawn to go there.
However, the more interesting question is why did I leave? First, let's answer when I left = '77. Now, the
answer to the first question is obvious, my purpose there was complete, it had reached 77. There was
nothing more that the school could offer toward my unique development. Interesting. At the time, I just
didn't go back. There were a variety of excuses, but it just didn't feel right.
I'm still finding it difficult to get it to sink in that 1995 = 21:84 (91). Especially since I associate SSN with
work and my current position is ending in 7 months. This further confirms that a spiritually directed
position is in the immediate offing. How soon immediate is remains to be seen. But, consciousness clearly
has something up her sleeve. She wouldn't have given me this particular information NOW, unless there
was good reason for it.
8/24/1995 = 32 + 114 = 146 = 1:71(77) = 1:70(78) = 1:64(84) = 1:60(88) = 1:59(89) = 1:57(91)
Looked at another way, 8 + 24 + 24 = 56, CHRIST completion(77) = The World. Completion(78) = The
Fool.
25 Aug 95
This is 8/25! How curious, 528 reversed. Also, Jamie's birthday. Last night I picked a Tarot card, 7: The
Hermit. Later, I picked a second card, 77:The Falconer (and CHRIST). Putting the two together, we get
7:77 = JACKPOT. This morning, I asked Gini what time it was. Her response was five to nine = 529.
Amazing!
Thinking about the fact that 1995 = 21:84 base 91:Death Exalted, made me curious about other 104
relationships. In particular, the year that I graduated from HS was 1976 = 19 x 104. On the way back from
walking the dogs, they stopped at house number 913. Looking at it now, I see The Hermit: Death. L2 =
91:Death Exalted. R2 =13:Death.
Okay. So, how does this translate into next year, 1996? First there is an overall meaning from the inside
out, The World Exalted:The Tower. Definitely a year I came to be part of. How convenient that the last
four of my SSN got activated this year 1995 in the Death Exalted Base.
1996 = 4 x 499. There are not enough divisors to be of any use, at least not following the pattern for 1995.
Then, by now, I should know better. It's not that simple. 1995 was critical. I had to realize that my
spiritual work was activated. And, it's taken two-thirds of the year to come to that realization. What is
important in this moment, is not what 1996 holds in store, but what must be done to complete the
preparation that enables me to carry out the position for which I was destined. This is not a cake-walk.
There is a lot of hard work that remains to be done in the next four months -- including a few more major
realizations. Even then, that is still only the start. You've chosen a difficult path as the trailblazer, yet you
knew that you had what it would take to do the job. As The Hermit, it makes it all the more challenging,
but it appears that was indeed a necessity, especially for you.
I'm looking at the bottom of my Rider Tarot Deck box. It's just there, in front of me, on the bar chart near
the middle 913, the same number as the address that the dogs wouldn't let me walk away from without
noticing. The complete number is 0 - 91 38 66 - 13 - X. The Fool, Death Complete, VISION, Q of Pents,
Death, Q of Wands [X]. In the code itself, there are a few more numbers 9 780913 866 139 9000. The X is
129
gone plus the leading numbers are The Hermit and The X of Pents [Tarot Completion]. The final number
is The Hermit as well. This is a very interesting set of numbers for me.
Watching the movie Hero. They just had a suicide scene. In the movie, it is number 137 = 1:60(77) =
1:59(78) = 1:53(84) = 1:49(88) = 1:48(89). I was thinking about Duane Garrett's suicide jump off the
Golden Gate bridge.
SUICIDE = 19/40/49/52/61/65/70 Amazing, The Juggler = 528.

Suicide = 19/22/31/34/43/47/52 Q of Swords, my personality number.
suicide = 01/04/13/16/25/29/34 ONE plus important partial sums!
Flight 104 crashed in the movie and all 54 people were saved. Now isn't that curious. 104 characterizes
1976 and 2184. 2288(88) = 2024, interesting, the year that I expect to complete my task on this planet.
26 Aug 95
Just drew a Tarot card. No reason in particular. The card that came up was 66:Q of Pentacles. Why is it
that very little surprises me anymore. Then again, that's not completely true, consciousness still finds
ways to blow me away. Further, it is those experiences that appear to result in the most stretch and
growth. It's as if whatever I may lack in physical flexibility is more than offset by where my
consciousness is allowed to venture and its ability to incorporate new beliefs and new states.
Where to start? Went out to do some errands. Bought dog food from the Del Monte pet shop in the mall.
Due to passing $100 again, received a $5 credit making the total less than $15, resulting in a $5 in change
for my $20. Next stop was the gas station, where I spent $20 on gas, and the $5 on the Super Lotto. I
noticed that the serial number of the $5 began with D7070. I was only able to see it for a moment as it
transferred hands. Even so, the double 70 amazed me since 528 is so important to what has been coming
through in the past weeks, and in particular past days. The numbers were quite interesting as well. The
first and last lines have the first four numbers the same [08 09 26 36]. Further, 26: GOD, the day today
showed up on four of the five lines. Safeway was next. Got a few items, brought them back to the van.
Noticed the Taxi 33 was at the front of the line. As I walked to the video store, I found that Taxi 22 was
right behind Taxi 33. 22 and 33 are the two cards on the third line of my "A" reading. Walking back from
the video store I saw taxi 23 as well and taxi 33 had finished.
It came to me that the next step up is 61 62. These total 123 = Ashland(Fool Exalted=100)
123 = 1:46(77) = 1:45(78) = 1:39(84) = 1:34(89) = 1:32(91)
6162 = 1662 from the inside out. This is 1162 + 500 [5 centuries!]. 16 62 is The Tower: The Blindfolded
Lady bound in 7:The Chariot. The two are Tarot complements. The distance from 1662 to 1995 is the
triple, 333. Now, isn't that curious. Here we have another major indication that 1995 is a remarkable year,
this time one that connects with the the highest levels of my "A" reading. The sense is that something is
about to happen on a very grand scale. Personally, I feel this will inaugurate me into the position that I am
spiritually destined to fill.
There is a sense that everything is coming together in some way that does not yet make complete sense
consciously, but at other levels is undeniable. There is definitely an anxious feeling associated with it.
However, I don't sense that fear plays any role. I know the changes will be major, but I have already been
through enough to be certain that I can handle whatever comes my way. I don't have to know exactly what
130
will be. However, I find it extremely important to have an unshakeable faith in this thing I call
consciousness. No matter what takes place, consciousness will guide me through it and lead me to
whatever I need to do, know, and/or realize. That is a lot to ask. Yet, in exchange I have chosen to give all
the I AM to do her bidding. There is a sense that this step involved a psyche death in a very real way. Yet,
I still speak in a first person singular voice most of the time. A good deal of this is due to my lack of
meaningful contact with anyone. On average, I doubt that I am involved with others more than 2 hours per
day. That's only one-eighth of my waking time. It's been that way for as long as I can remember. I simply
do not deal much with others, period. I sense, however, that this needs to change soon, and will indeed do
so. A thought just crossed my mind. To get from The Hermit, to Justice, the center of my "X" reading,
It keeps striking me that "X" marks the spot, as in this is your destiny. Roman numeral X = 10 = The
Wheel of Fortune. Somehow that rings true, yet the sense is that something is hidden in the reading that
has not yet been revealed.
27 Aug 95
The only thing missing on the cap of my "A" reading is the very top 6, 84, or 777. The turquoise
Thunderbird at 832 Jefferson is the 777. I was also doing the numbers for THUNDERBIRD in my head as
I walked the kids yesterday.
[Note added 4/16/98: It is curious that the first three digits of the house I now own are none other
than 684!]
THUNDER = 20/28/49/53/57/62/80 BIRD = 02/11/29/33 High Priestess Exalted : Christ Total = 113 =
1:36(77) = 1:35(78) = 1:29(84) = 1:25(88) = 1:24(89) = 1:22(91).
Drew a tarot card for the morning. Got 48: The Man in Search of More, the inverse of the top card of the
"A" reading. However, adding 36 gives me the result that I need. The 36 was on the back of the bill with
the two 61's. Curious indeed. Also, the Card was upside down, indicating that a reversal of the number
might be in order anyway.
Colors of the Wind from the movie Pocahontas stayed at the top of the chart for it's 6th week. This is a
song with extensive metaphysical content. That this particular week led to #1 for the sixth consecutive
week is a confirmation that the top of my "A" reading has been reached.
6 Also, the span of 84 in the file size!
61 62 Sequential bills from Trader Joe's
22 33 Taxi cabs one after the other
All of this within the space of one weekend! Something is clearly happening. The shivers are taking off
big time. This is more than just being onto something. Massive change is forthcoming, immediately.
Actually there is a sense that past tense is more appropriate. It happened yesterday. I'm not exactly sure
what, but it happened already. Whether the manifestation is physical yet or not, I don't know. Although, if
it's not yet manifest physically, it will be shortly. How can I know this. I just do. Pg 77 Ln 7.56 is further
confirmation.
131
While driving today, I couldn't help focusing on a very interesting calculation. 826 from the inside out is
286 = 2 x 143 = 2 x 11 x 13 = 22 x 13 = 13:00(22) = 12:22(22) = The Completion of The Hanged Man
(22), also the Birth of Death (22).
POCOHONTAS = 16/31/34/49/57/72/86/106/107/126 Very Interesting. 126 = 1:49(77) = 1:48(78) =

1:42(84) = 1:38(88) = 1:37(89) = 1:35(91) = 1:22(104) Wow!
On to another page. There is a strange sensation inside. The world is not the same for me as it was a day
ago. Yet, I have no conscious knowledge of the difference. It is there, however, clear as the sun rising each
morning shining it's light into the window I look through as I type this now. A nice day, the sailboats
taking advantage of an unusually high wind, though there seem to be few left. The bay is not calm but
neither are there any noticeable whitecaps. The distance is a bit blurred by a haze of some type, probably
pollution due to its brownish-gray color. Yet all-in-all, I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth
with a view that is literally "to die for". Then again, I pay dearly for this precious piece of real estate.
However, there is something to be said about essentially being able to buy the best house in the
neighborhood when I was 31. Interesting, just before I came up to write, I passed by the couch with my
wife's tarot deck in a position where a particular card stood out. Curious chap that I am, I picked the card
-- 31.
Interesting information from The Tarot Book by Jana Riley. She uses the Crowley formalism with King,
Queen, Prince, and Princess rather than the Knight and Page used by the Rider formalism. What I found
curious was the link to the Jungian Types. Personally, I am INT/FP, the thinking and feeling component
were evenly balanced at 0. Looking at the corresponding types, we get:
INFP Princess of Cups The Dreamer Inner Love

INTP Princess of Swords The Initiator Inner Intellect
These would correspond to 40 and 54. Total = 94 = The Tower Exalted. Note also that the number
midway between the two is 47:ASLAN. There was no other way for that to happen. Also, I imagine that it
is relatively rare for zero to show up in any of the four dimensions showing no preference towards one or
the other.
28 Aug 95
The month continues to move on. I still have this incredible sense that a major transition was completed
this past weekend. Nearly on automatic, I took a different path through Monterey, one that I haven't taken
in several months to avoid the road construction that was being done. Within one block of the divergence
point, I saw a car with 777 on it's license plate, and a few cars in front of that 999 in the form of III. The
one time I noticed on the way in was exactly 8:55, on a digital clock! This is 529, the number so
important last week! [23]2.
RED SHIFT = 18/23/27 19/27/36/42/62 TOTAL = 89 = Justice Exalted. I just sent a letter to this company
for a WWW account so that I can start to get the WORD of Beyond Imagination out to the world at large.
Curious.
WORD = 23/38/56/60 Look at those numbers. The Lovers with the God Force.
Word = 23/29/38/42 Every number has great relevance.
132
WORLD = 23/38/56/68/72 Highly interesting as well.
World = 23/29/38/41/45 Black Robe
LOVE = 12/27/49/54 Page of Swords

Love = 12/18/22/27 Ace of Wands
GOD = 07/22/26 Page of Wands

god = 07/13/17 The Star Isn't that curious!
704 = 9:11(77) = 9:02(78) = 8:48(82) = 8:32(84) = 8:16(86) = 8:00(88) = 7:81(89) = 7:67(91)
With G and D surrounding a zero, we get a very interesting set of numbers. I couldn't keep from laughing
when I saw 9:11 pop up in the CHRIST base. 9-1-1, how appropriate. Also seeing 832 in The Lovers
Exalted base was an eye popper as well. 832 is the gold address on the red door that Foofer insisted that I
see. It started much of the time correlation stuff, and really made the symbols of the spiritual world come
to life for me. It's another of the 104 multiples, this time x 8. It's amazing how important these numbers
are.
764, The Chariot: Thy Will be Done just doesn't have the same force. Here's when the moment of truth
comes. Neither the conscious not the subconscious can find it alone. It is the marriage of the two into one
that creates the whole. The two were never separated except by walls and barriers within the mind and
belief systems. This is the sacred union, that of the self with the Self. All outer unions pale by comparison,
though they have their purposes and can be filled with joy when the right souls are involved.
There's another connection coming here 26 x 28 = 728 x 3 = 2184, last four of SSN. 728 is 7 x 104. 104 =
4 x 26 = 8 x 13 = 4:16(22) = 3:38(22).
I guess I'm demonstrating that if you look hard enough at something you will indeed see interesting things
that you may or may not have anticipated. It's especially interesting in this case because I allowed my
intuition to guide the method even more than normal. It was as if I was forcing things on the one hand, yet
allowing and trusting that consciousness via my intuition would indeed come through. And, that she did.
There is still this overwhelming feeling that my role has changed. Physically, the manifestation may not
yet be here, but it is indeed complete. I haven't felt like this before, so I don't know exactly of what I
speak. However, there is a certainty in my disposition, a knowingness that a course of action is set upon.
Exactly where it will take me I do not know. Further, it does not matter. I will follow the road to wherever
it leads. Already, there is a spring in my step, knowing that the time for dissemination of information has
arrived. The means, so to speak, has been dumped in my lap, and I intend to pursue it with everything that
is in me. I'm truly excited about life again. It has been some time since I've felt like this. Further, I'm
happy without regard to what is happening. The bottom line is that none of it matters. I'm happy because
of where my state of awareness is. I'm happy because I am in synch with my self and my Self, and the
mission that consciousness has in store for me. I still don't know what I'll be doing in seven months, but
Joseph Campbell's statement "follow your bliss" comes to mind. I trust that in doing so, consciousness
will find the proper way to accommodate my needs. You could say that my new employer is
consciousness. The sense is that my employment has already begun, though consciousness may use Loral
to continue my pay for from 1-7 more months while a suitable transition is arranged. How much of this
must I do on my own? I can only trust that I will know. Consciousness will guide me here as well.
133
Interesting. Bernie Ward was just on the radio asking for donations to the Garrett Trust, to specifically
help out the family of Duane Garrett, the talk show host that committed suicide by jumping off the
Golden Gate bridge. I didn't hear why there were money problems. You would think that with all of
Duane's friends, they would find more than enough resources to cover his family's needs. Between the law
firm, the radio station work, the television work, and the sports memorabilia stuff -- he made a lot of
money. If he used it all or misused it, that seems tough, let his former employers bear the brunt of the bill.
Let the people he helped be the one's that help him. There is a sense of what constitutes Justice here. We
have many people who are homeless and hungry. Why do the Garrett's warrant any special consideration?
That their husband/father took his own life does not entitle them to any special care. That their standard of
living may have to drop as a result is tragic, but it is what happens in life. Believing that this was all
predestined to play out in this manner, the family will reap the experience that it designed for itself.
Bernie's position seems a bit much. I cannot understand singling out one family and using radio station
time/resources to beg for their benefit. No other families are granted such resources, though their
situations may be all the more dire. The unfairness of this smacks me in the face. It's like abusing one's
position for personal gain. Oh, in this case, personal is for the benefit of close friends. However, these are
also people used to a relatively luxurious standard of living. What right have they for this to continue?
My concern comes from a sense of Justice. If I have financial difficulties, there is no one there to help --
neither do I expect there to be. I am responsible for my actions, regardless of whether they were
predestined or not. I create my reality, even if not consciously. In a true community, this would not be a
problem. The wife and kids would get what they need, regardless of Duane's actions. The question now is
what do the wife and kids need? And, how do we reconcile their needs with the needs of others? Does
their prior to the suicide standing, give them any advantage? My sense is no. It is not fair to give them
special treatment, period. Bernie is getting himself in further and further. This is an area where he is
extremely partial and very personally involved. It's understandable, but he's acting out of a loving desire
to help. Justice and balance have nothing to do with it. It's his show, he can do what he wants with it.
However, my inner sense is that while this is good, it is not right. How curious.
The page count continues to climb, one by one, as consciousness fills the blankness with whatever she
would bring through. I attribute everything to consciousness now. The deepness may vary, but the
thoughts all spring from an inner source which appears as a voice in my head that gets translated into
what appears on the screen via a closed conscious loop involving my fingers, sight and brain trying to
ensure that what appears matches what is heard. Hour after hour is spent in this process. Besides work and
sleep, generating these notes is the activity that consumes more of my time than any other. It's been this
way for two years now. We're rapidly approaching the two year point from my initial meeting with Dr
Adolfo.
29 Aug 95
Another day for consciousness to speak. If 75 pages was respectable for last month, we're really doing
well this month at 83:The Hierophant exalted and counting. We still have three days remaining this
month. Who knows where that will take us. Though, it will be curious to see where it does end. I have no
real control over what comes through, how much comes through, or when it comes through. I have truly
left this for consciousness to determine. I am but a willing servant, awaiting word from consciousness as
to what work she would have me do, then acting with the full force of my being to make it so. Usually,
this involves being the conduit through which spirit may flow to do her works. I joyfully choose this way
of being. Not my will but Thine be done. It's still a bit of a struggle, but, more and more doing things in
spirits way is the only way that makes any real sense and feels right. There is a knowingness in my Heart
that no matter the obstacle that comes in my way, spirit is there by my side to help me overcome it. I
134
entered this existence with everything necessary to fulfill a great spiritual purpose, and consciousness
herself has nurtured and prepared me for the tasks that lie ahead. This is a certainty for me. There is no
doubt of it's veracity.
Pg 84: The Lovers Exalted. This is but the third time that I've reached this far in a given month. It's
amazing how many times this number has come up in just a few days. I keep looking over to the top of
my "A" reading. There is something this is telling me. Perhaps the message is that I finally AM what my
"A" reading specifies, and have truly earned the status symbolized in my ring. The question now is: who
am I? The ring offers 13[diamonds, 1 large + 12 small] + 2[large rubies (pink/red)] + 4[small emeralds
(green)] = 19 positions. However, I own the ring, and it is highly unlikely that there are others like it. The
13 diamonds seem to correspond to Christ and the twelve disciples. The rubies signify 11, the emeralds
22; combined they yield 33. The rubies are also associated with the Heart, and the one on the lower left,
though half a caret, is barely visible -- possible indicating that the grounded heart is shielded, perhaps a
sign of The Hermit presence. The ruby on the upper right seems to show that the spiritual heart is afire,
boldly stretching up into the heavens. The dragon on the left looks down to earth, while the one on the
right looks to the heavens. Both look through bright green emeralds. Further, the emeralds are in line with
the 3rd row of the "A", 22 and 33 in the "A" reading.
ARTHUR = 01/19/39/47/68/86 reversed = 68 PENDRAGON = 16/21/36/40/58/59/66/81/96 reversed =

69
182 = 2:28(77) = 2:26(78) = 2:14(84) = 2:06(88) = 2:04(89) = 2:00(91) = 1:78(104)
Is that why the very idea of Camelot stirs my veins so? "Might for Right" was the rallying cry that
changed warring tribes into relatively peaceful men. It is definitely interesting that DRAGON is a major
part of the name.
I've reached a point where the numbers are like a second language for me. However, it is not easy to
convert what I am seeing at automatically to words. So, many things are obvious that I assume that by
now it will be obvious to others as well. Besides, it would take far too much time and space to cover all
the details, when it is the higher level of the forest, not the trees that are important. This is my forte
anyway. It is the big picture that most excite me.
My computer donged at 5:28, announcing the arrival of an E-Mail message. The person was looking for a
driver for an AMIS Mouse. That's a very peculiar name. AM and IS, two forms of To Be. How strange for
the two to show up together in this manner.
AMIS = 01/14/23/42 Very interesting numbers. Yes, indeed.
AM = 14, IS = 28 14 28 is the sum for the 14 triangle. Temperance. Completion of 74.
TO BE = 20/35/37/42 Isn't that curious as well?
14, 28, and 42 are all variations on a single there, that of existence, of beingness.
AM, IS, TO BE. The next number in the sequence is 56, followed by 70: The 5:28 number that was the
time of the message that started this path of inquiry. Whoa, one more step = 84 and the one after that 98.
So, what is it about the multiples of 14 that are so important. The Tarot recognizes this as well, as each of
the suits of the minor arcana number 14.
135
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 28 42 56 70 84 98 112 126 140 154 168 182

(77) 1:07 1:21 1:35 1:49 1:63 2:00 2:14 2:28
(78) 1:06 1:20 1:34 1:48 1:62 1:76 2:12 2:26
(84) 1:00 1:14 1:28 1:42 1:56 1:70 2:00 2:14
(88) 1:10 1:24 1:38 1:52 1:66 1:80 2:06
(89) 1:09 1:23 1:37 1:51 1:65 1:79 2:04
(91) 1:07 1:21 1:35 1:49 1:63 1:77 2:00
(94) 1:04 1:18 1:32 1:46 1:60 1:74 1:88
(104) 1:08 1:22 1:36 1:50 1:64 1:78
Isn't that curious. 13: Death columns fill the screen. Also the next row 14 x 14 = 196 = 916 from the
inside out. 916 = The Hermit: The Tower.
196 = 14 x 14 = 2 x 2 x 7x 7 = 7 x 28. 728 = 7 x 104! Also 728 = The Chariot:The Man with the world in
his hands. Further, this is one-third of 2184. The picture that comes to mind is three squares each with
sides of 7, perimeters of 28, coming together to form a triangle with sides of 7, each side extending out
into a square.
The result is a geometric form for 2184. The perimeter of the triangle is the 21, and the sum of the
perimeters of the squares is 3 x 28 = 84. This brings us back to the book Numerology and the Divine
Triangle. It doesn't get any more Divine than this. We have The World in the middle triangle, and we have
each square with are = 49, total area = 147. Major shivers. This is an extremely important number in the
scheme of things. First, it is ASLAN exalted (100). Next it is The Aquarian Age Exalted(88), then it is The
Ace of Pentacles Exalted [abundance from spirit] (78). Finally, it is 1:70(77) The Juggler Exalted in the
Christ base.
7 8 9 -- This is the layout of keys on the calculator.

4 5 6 -- 1 4 7 just made it's presence known.
1 2 3 -- 528 has been showing up incessantly.
-------------------------
789
My intuition tells me that 693 is the missing number of this grouping. 693 = 9 x 77. How appropriate can
I get, The Hermit in the CHRIST base. It's as if it's too good to be true.
693 = 9:00(77) = 8:68(78) = 8:20(84) = 7:76(88) = 7:69(89) = 7:55(91) That sent a shiver all through my
body. And a very cold one at that.
I'm a man with a mission now. I'm moved to set up Beyond Imagination information on the WWW. It's a
first step, but one that allows for worldwide dissemination of information to those moved by
consciousness to find and read it. My efforts thus far have been to target my audience to some pretty high
level folks. There has thus far been no feedback to show that this has been even mildly successful. Yet, I
believed in these ideas that have come through me so much, that I did not care about any consequences. I
know in my Heart that a have a role to play, a major role, in bringing about a peaceful revolution. Just
thinking about it causes the blood to rush forth through my veins with increased fury.
136
30 Aug 95
Our symbol systems contain a wealth of information that most people never even begin to access. Yet,
even the Bible says that in the beginning was the word, the Logos, and out of it everything in our reality
was manifest.
Consciousness chooses which connections to reveal to me at particular times. I have no motive, purpose,
or intent other than to do as consciousness bids me to do, and come to Know MySelf as well as possible
in the process so that my own level of awareness may been enhanced that I may be an even greater vessel
for doing the Great work. Specifically what my part in this is, I know not -- presumably because I have no
need to know yet. Oh, I've received many hints, but I have no idea of how to get there from here other
than to take it one day at a time, doing whatever I am moved by consciousness to do on that particular
day. I have a job [at least for the next 7 months] but clearly I've reached a point where other that providing
a needed paycheck, it is not what I am meant to be doing. I sensed that something powerful changed last
weekend. It was as if Judgment Day had arrived and I passed with flying colors. Along with that came a
deep sense that a position was offered and accepted on an inner level. It was a strong feeling, without any
images or specifics attached. I don't know what, how, when, or where -- yet, I am certain that it is indeed
where I will be next and that the transition will occur soon, possible before the end of the year. If not,
when the time is right. I trust consciousness to know when that will be. However, it might get a bit dicey,
if consciousness chooses to test my patience and my faith. Can't worry about that now. What will be, will
be. Enhancing awareness and serving consciousness are my chief concerns right now. Everything else is
secondary. Interesting.
I don't know where the ideas that come into my head come from. Literally, my function is that of scribe,
though I do try to understand what comes through as well. That is part of what makes the process as slow
as it is. A page per hour is a very respectable rate. However, that is only the generation time, the actual
time that I sit in front of a screen and type whatever comes into my head. There is no editing of these
notes. A new date is added on every new day for which notes are generated. In months like this, nearly
everyday includes an entry and at least half a page of notes. In more lax months, several days go by in
which not a single note is written. Why this varies so much from month to month is beyond me, I simply
do not know. It appears, however, that I need to be in an appropriate conscious state for this
communication to take place as it does.
You might say that much of what you see here are the notes of a consciousness subjectively observing
itself. There is no way this can be done objectively. By it's very nature, consciousness is subjective -- she
will not submit to objective probing and reveal her true beauty. This lies within and is there for each
individual to find. Thus far, as a society, we make this hard to do by failing to show our kids, and our
people in general the way to the light of spirit. Both religion and science have created fences so high that
we are literally kept out of the one place that has always had the answers, the spirit within. Science would
argue that such a thing does not exist; religion, that you must go through them to find the fruits this spirit
would offer, and further that there is a defined protocol that must be followed to enter the Kingdom of
God. It's all BS, belief systems at play. The bottom line is that what is truly real is you as consciousness
experiencing being and learning from your experiences. The is no mediator between you and the greater
consciousness of which you are a part. I was going to say that created you, but that implies that a
fundamental separation exists. This is not the case. The connection was never broken. This is not like
parents creating a child that is a separate entity. In contrast, I can't think of what it is like. The bottom line
is that there is ONE consciousness, period; regardless of the fact that there are 5 Billion plus souls
embodied on the planet. You might think of each of these souls as sparks of the ONE consciousness, some
137
brighter, some dimmer. Unlike real sparks, these soul sparks are simply partitions of consciousness with
varying levels of awareness. Those with grander awareness have larger partitions and increased channels
for information.
Wow. This is getting deep, but there is an inner sense that it is right. There is a strong sense that my entire
life has set me up for a position from which I can allow consciousness to provide the solutions to the
problems of the world through me. Further, if need be, I can do it anonymously from behind the scenes.
Personally, I want neither glory nor fame, only to accomplish my mission of helping to usher in a new
age; and then finding a bold new adventure of consciousness on which to go. Whether this is what
consciousness has in store for me is another matter entirely. However, we'll know soon enough. Either
way, it will occur as Planned. Nothing can change that now. The Dawn is too close. The time for peaceful
revolution has indeed arrived and with a force that will not be denied. But, where is the evidence you ask?
I cannot prove what you will not open your eyes to see and ears to hear. It's as if the trumpets are
sounding and the Walls of Jericho will soon be falling all around us. And, then, what is to be done? For
the very foundations of our country, America, are indeed crumbling. After 220 years, it is time to restore
or replace them with an improved set that can boldly carry us forth into a new millennia. Our Forefathers
were great and brilliant men, but they lived 220 years ago in a time when the way of life was
incomparable to today's. Further, they simply could not anticipate the kinds of problems the country
would face in our day and the services that it would be expected to provide not only within the country
but on a global front as well. It's clearly time to re-examine the structure of our government and come up
with a new one that better serves us in the world of today and in the new millenia that lies ahead. In fact,
were many of our Founding Father's able to see what had become of the Nation they birthed, they would
probably condemn us for waiting so long to make drastically needed changes. There is nothing sacred
about what they wrote. It was great for the time, and has essentially served us well for over two centuries,
but the pace of change now is such that this will not be the case much longer. In fact, there are already
major problems. The complexities of our times are simply not adequately reflected.
Took a break from the notes for many hours to put the SOCIETY briefing into a word processing form.
Cut and paste wouldn't work so I had to retype everything. The process was interesting, since it forced me
to focus on what was actually in the briefing. I'm absolutely amazed at how many issues are covered in
such a short space overall. Further, not just covered at the surface level but truly addressed deeply. Yes,
there is a major issue involved in carrying out the recommended solutions -- but, from my standpoint that
is getting to the details not the heart of the issue. If we can come to agreement at the Heart, and go into the
endeavor with the attitude of cooperative interdependence, spirit will enable us to figure out the details.
The bottom line is something ARONK, a channel I used to frequent in LA, used to say all the time -- the
Triple A club: Awareness, Allowance, and Acceptance. These last two are essential to cooperation. The
first is essential to allowing spirit or consciousness to provide the answers.
I now have a course of action in mind for the immediate future. My goal is to create a Home Page on the
WWW for Beyond Imagination. I want to create appropriate keywords so that the information can be
accessed by browser. [consciousness, revolution, new age, metaphysics, education, society, utopia,
government reform, economic reform] In addition, I'd like to convert the SOCIETY briefing to HTML
and link it to the home page. Further, I'd like to provide an introduction to the notes and start converting
the months of notes starting in Nov 93 to HTML and making these available as well. Hopefully this will
be fairly easy, though taking out all formatting and then reformatting may be repetitive and time
consuming as well.
This does provide an opportunity for editing, and for cutting out material. However, my sense is that is
important to allow the word to be expressed as it came through me. I do not feel the right to erase or
138
modify any line. That has not been my practice for over two years. I see no reason to alter my ways now.
Consciousness expresses what she expresses as she expresses. It is not my place to alter that now, after the
fact. People will get what the need from this material. They will be moved to find whatever can help
them. The biggest gift these notes provide are a detailed documentation of consciousness of an individual
as experienced from the inside out. Yes, it is subjective; highly so. There is no other way that it could have
manifest. What is provided is an example of how a particular consciousness at an advanced level of
awareness thinks. Throughout the notes there are techniques demonstrated for getting spiritual
information from the standard symbol systems that are part of everyday life. It's a matter of learning to
recognize what your inner self is asking you to see and pay attention too. Without the inner sight or inner
hearing, the spiritual meaning is completely missed. This does not mean to deny reason and the tools of
the conscious mind. What it does mean is to balance one's capabilities. Because the subconscious and
inner processes have been neglected for so long, one may have to go overboard a bit to allow the weaker
side to gain the strength it needs to reach a place of balance.
I find it amazing that the words keep coming forth. It's as if my mind is like a blank slate. I have no clue
as to what was written earlier today, or yesterday, or last week. Further, it's been several months since I've
found the time to review the notes that were written. I find it curious that this is so. For the first 8 months
to a year, the final step of the month was a re-read and quick spell check with a minor grammar check.
Thinking back, now, it's actually over a year since I last did that. I trust that what comes from
consciousness is good enough. There is nothing that I can truly add to make it better. It's still interesting
that over 1200 pages have come forth, 280 thus far in the past 3 months alone and I still have part of a
final day to write. That's a lot of words, covering a spectrum of ideas. Yet, literally, I have no recall of any
of the detail. It's as if what is completed is done. The sense is that I get whatever meaning is necessary in
the moment that it comes through. Even with the 1000 + books that I have read, I would be hard pressed
to come up with more than a few specific meaningful quotes or even basic descriptions of what I learned
from the book. How that part of my mind works is beyond my conscious understanding. I operate from a
deep faith that all that I have learned is captured and will be recalled in the appropriate manner when
required. In particular, when communication is required the process is natural, nearly automatic. The
briefings essentially wrote themselves, as do these notes. Interesting, indeed.
31 Aug 95
The end of another month, and a very busy one at that. The page count for the month is a clear third, by
29 page. Fourth was 64, and second was an inapproachable 113. Ten days ago, at the start of 21 Aug, the
count was only 42. So, the final third of the month has been a real marathon for note writing. I knew that
the pace had picked up, but that's over 50 pages in 10 days. Obviously I'm on a real high, soaring beyond
where I have ever been before, yet there is no fear, for I know that consciousness is there by my side
every step of the way. We have a purpose to fulfill, a mission to perform. It's in the script, and hence will
be done. It matters not whether I know what it is. I trust that at any given time, I will know whatever I
must know to properly do what must be done NOW. What must happen in a year, or a month, or even a
week has little to no import. The "point of power is the present" as Seth said. It is where I live my life. It
is the only point where my action has utility in serving consciousness.
It all gets back to "BE HERE NOW", the classic phrase from Ram Dass. The only thing that is real is
consciousness, beingness, the I AM. And, that real state exists only in the HERE and NOW. When past or
future are given attention this focus is lost, and the illusion is made manifest. Once manifest, it is very
difficult to return to the unmanifest real state. It does seem that current transformations are focused on
being able to more fully manifest consciousness in flesh. But, for the most part past connections have
been limited at best. A few have always been there to guide the world through the darkness toward ever
139
increasing light, though this has been a painfully slow process overall. Consciousness, being outside of
time, cares not how long the overall experience takes. It will occur with whatever timing is appropriate.
This brings up the idea of perfection, that at any moment the World is perfect -- regardless of the amount
of suffering that may appear to be occurring. What is real versus what is illusion is a major theme. Yet, in
this area, it is truly up to the individual to discover Truth for him/herself. For, in very real ways this is
different for us all, and we must as Thoreau says: "march to the beat of our own drummer." For anyone
reading these notes, it is obvious by now that I am a very rare bird indeed, and the drummer that I march
to surely must be high on something. In my case, that something is consciousness herself. Unfortunately, I
do not know how to pass on what I have become and what I have learned about what I AM, other than to
allow consciousness to continue to express via these notes. The best I can do is demonstrate by example,
with the idea that others will catch on to whatever degree they are meant to.
Pg 94: The Tower Exalted. Each additional page carries with it intense meaning. The question is where
will it end? As of midnight tonight, the end of the month, what will the final message from these notes be?
The page count is clearly a factor. The file size is the other. And then there is the content of all this
information, words strung into ideas that have never before been expressed in this manner. This is the
product of consciousness creatively manifesting in this world. I'm the vehicle through which the physical
manifestation could occur. And, I gladly serve consciousness in this capacity. As far as I can tell, it is at
least the first phase of what I came to do, as well as serving as a vehicle to foster my spiritual awakening.
Am I rambling, or is this information truly of utility? Just the fact that so many thoughts have been
recorded without be edited, reveals a flow of consciousness that is not generally captured. This in itself
should provide the raw material for consciousness researchers to really look at what is involved in thought
processes, including both how some of the brain processes work as well as how the higher level processes
of the self observing the self work. I find it interesting that after 20 years of input, primarily via reading,
that I would spend the past 2 years in an output mode where what is output is only loosely related to what
was input. As to how long this will continue, I do not know. But, there is the sense that I have directly
tapped into an inner source of Wisdom sufficient to provide me with whatever I need to know to carry out
my destiny. This provides a level of confidence and surety that consciousness will be there to help me deal
with whatever circumstances may arise.
I still have a very strong sense that something happened last weekend. Judgment was passed, and I was
offered my rightful position in some spiritual hierarchy. Exactly what that is, I do not know. As The
Hermit, my association with others has been limited to say the least. Yet, I know within my HEART that
such did indeed occur. Interesting 20:Judgement + 57:Three Swords thru Heart = 77:The Falconer [Also
CHRIST]. These are the cards at the top and bottom center of the triangle reading. There is this
knowingness that I have passed whatever test needed to be passed. However, what that means, and what
will happen when still remains hidden. Here's where the trust comes in as well. My relationship with
consciousness is secure. She will ensure that I am moved to do what needs to be done and that I am aware
of whatever I need to know. I have a whole suite of tools for enabling this communication, be it inner via
direct intuition, or outward via recognition and interpretation of signs in the appropriate manner.
140
BEST OF NOTES
SEPTEMBER 1995
We write, and write, and write.

Always onward, expressing whatever would be expressed at this particular
time.
Where this heads I know not. Consciousness guides its direction.

I speak of consciousness as this entity that is separate from me.
At some level, I am part of consciousness; indeed, I AM consciousness.
However, at this time, my conscious awareness does not experience this
connection directly.
141
BEST OF NOTES #23

5 Sep 95
Four days off and I was so busy I didn't find any time to write, nor did I have any desire to for that matter.
I was obsessed with getting my modem installed and working, subscribing to AOL, getting my RedShift
account up and running, creating a home page, and translating two briefings and a notes file to HTML.
Overall, it was a success. I got my home page installed and linked to the society and government
briefings. Also, it is linked to a second level home page for the notes. I've decided to put the notes through
the end of 1994 on line. I may need the 1995 notes to pay the bills starting in a few months.
Also, it occurred to me that the online information can be much more topic oriented. A Best of 1994
Book, as well as Best of 1995 Book might be useful as well. Smaller books dealing with particular topics
could be culled from the information as well. There is a lot of raw material to work from. How best to tap
it, explain it, and present it in a useful manner is a matter for some consideration. I'm sure consciousness
will have her inputs here.
Had two readings from Ashley. I came away assured that my ideas for reforming/reinventing society are
sound and that this indeed is what my occupation will involve very soon.
I have no clue as to how this will be made so, yet I have no doubt that it will indeed come to pass.
Interesting. It's as if I no longer need to know how or why. I trust that what is needed will indeed be
provided, either directly or via opportunity that I will not be able to avoid taking. Yes, I trust
consciousness (or God) that much. Further, I trust my own knowingness and awareness not to lead me
astray in such matters, Though, I do have direct experience, only two years ago that says even these have
their ability to deceive, if one has not foresworn my will for Thy Will. This is the key that removes all
doubt and assures that the Plan is fulfilled. Each person has a role to play in helping consciousness to
more fully enflesh itself, and in doing so rise to awareness levels that it has not yet reached. How can I
talk of this in this way? What is the source? Why does it matter? What comes through, comes through. It
is as simple as that. Judge it based on its content and not it's source or method of delivery. And remember,
when you really think about it, you don't even know where your own thoughts come from, so don't be too
judgmental of the source of these. Find that place in your heart, not your head, that is able to distinguish
the true from the false for you. Yes, for you -- nearly all truth is relative in this illusion that we call reality.
So, don't hold onto your dogmas too tightly. Allow them to change as necessary when their utility starts to
dwindle. Believe firmly, while you hold any belief, yet be flexible and open to change in an instant should
a more powerful belief be brought into your vicinity. Remember, beliefs are the playground of reality
creation. Play with them joyfully, observing their results and modifying those that bring displeasure.
6 Sep 95
Something tells me that this will be a slow month for notes. Ln 7.56 and the time was 4:28 = 7:56 as well.
How's that for coincidence. NOT. It is a sign that everything is as it should be. I'm operating in a sort of
groove. By the end of the week, Beyond Imagination will be a reality on the Internet, and not just as a
home page, but as a whole set of ideas and experiences reachable from that page. I feel as if I'm truly
giving birth to something grand, something noble, something ideal. Yet, at the same time, it seems that
this is the crucial first step in making it real. This endeavor, however, is so engrossing that my work pales
by comparison. Only one more briefing to transform and everything I've generated thus far is complete.
Actually, transform in this case means create anew, for there is no conversion that can be done from the
142
PPT briefings other than to copy the text. Since this is the fourth and final of the lot, it should be easier
overall.
I'm also considering conversion of the notes prior to Nov 93, and the Reality Creation 1010 material. This
is a logical next step. Following that, there are the notes for 1994. I also need to decide what to do with
Beyond Imagination: Foundations for Creating a New World. Do I want to put this out for free as well.
There's no rush, I'm sure consciousness will guide me in the direction that is right.
Recalling back to Sunday, Colors of the Wind dropped to #2 after being on top of the chart for exactly 6
weeks. So, The Lovers message was indeed confirmed! At least, that is my interpretation.
You might think that I can manipulate the numbers to get any meaning I want out of them. But, I assure
you that is not the case. I don't consciously know what is involved in this process. I allow the other than
conscious parts within me to take control and show me what meaning is there while I observe and read
what comes through just as you do. You don't have the benefit of seeing the process happen in realtime. I
do. Through over two years of notes amounting to over 1200 pages, I've seen consciousness express in
ways that I would not have thought possible. Time after time I've had to alter my belief system and adjust
my ego to accommodate the reality that these notes bring to my life. As you can imagine, they consume a
lot of my free time. Yet, at some level, I sense that I have no choice in the matter. I must do exactly as I
am doing to gain the experience and the awareness needed for the positions that I am destined to fill. Yes
destined. I believe the bulk of my choices were made by me as Higher Self before I incarnated. Can I
prove this? No. I wouldn't even care to try. Believe what you will. It helps if your beliefs are aligned with
truth but this is in no way a requirement that impacts their validity or effectiveness. However, beware, for
the illusion is thick while the truth hangs by a mere thread. Follow the thread inward -- it is there that you
will find all that you seek and more.
Know Thyself. Everything else is secondary. Until you've accomplished this first step there is little you
can do to impact anything or anyone. However, it is up to you to seek and find. The processes and
methods used by others may help, but ultimately you must find your own way to the ONE. One brief hint,
all the thinking in the world won't get you there. True awareness lies beyond thought, and beyond mind as
J. Krishnamurti said.
9 Sep 95
Getting way behind on notes this month. But, I've put a lot of material on the Internet in a week, so it's not
like I haven't been focusing my energies on Beyond Imagination. 9/9, The Hermit day in The Hermit
month. Interesting, we'll see hat the day brings, especially since last night there was a bright full moon to
the East as I was working. My consciousness tends to go to extremes at such times, ever since my
experiences of two years ago.
I still have no clue as to where I will be just over six months from now. My present job definitely comes
to an end, and to continue the line of work that I have developed expertise in over the past decade I would
probably have to move back to the LA area and take a pay cut to boot. Everything in the cards, and
coming from my intuition in these writings says that such is not what will be, that consciousness has a
much grander plan in store. I trust that such is indeed the case. Such is how I've chosen to lead my life.
My awareness has brought me to a place of comfort in knowing that I am part of something far greater
than I presently am aware of, and that I can trust that everything happens in accord with a Greater Plan,
and that our Higher Self aligns our experience in accord with this plan.
143
My personal sense is that consciousness has a destined role for me to play that I chose prior to
incarnating, and now -- or, at least very soon, it is time for that role to begin. My sense is that I have been
trained for this role all of my life. No, not by any physical teachers for the most part; but, by
consciousness herself. It's only in the past couple of years that I truly realized this, however. I still find it
fascinating that with all my formal scientific and mathematical training, through an MSEE from Stanford;
and with 20 years of informal metaphysical training, including reading in excess of 1000 books, and
walking on hot coals at Tony Robbins and Stuart Wilde seminars; I was still completely blown away by
what I experienced in the last 6 month of 1993 and first 6 months of 1994. Actually, the mind blowing
experiences did not stop there, but continue to this very day. I don't think a week passes where I don't
have some new major revelation or realization. They've become so commonplace, that they're just a
natural part of my day to day reality. I know that symbols that I pay attention to can have deep meaning at
the appropriate time. Further, I know that most of the things that I consider to be symbols, most people
either see and ignore, or simply don't see at all. However, even if I were to explain what I see, I can't
explain the inner process that comes up with the proper meaning. It is definitely not a conscious process. I
know, because I've tried to do it consciously and got nothing but garbage. There is a sense, though, that
the process works best when the inner and outer are acting in harmony. It's as if some amount of
conscious attention helps the process.
Here we go, writing again because of an inner sense that this is the most important task that I can be doing
at this moment in time. I document whatever consciousness would bring through, to demonstrate what can
be. As you probably realize by now, these notes present a flow of consciousness. There is no editing or
cleaning up that occurs. There is no rewriting, moving, or deleting or what pours forth. The intent is to
provide an honest record of consciousness in action. I've been faithful to that format for over two years,
providing myself as the resource through which consciousness speaks by placing thoughts that I hear in
my head and then watch my body translate those thoughts into word that appear on the screen in front of
me. In most cases, I'm only a word or so ahead of what is being written. I am not consciously aware of
how the thoughts are being organized, nor for that matter how they get from my head to my fingers so that
I can read them on the screen. I do find it interesting that I put so much time into this endeavor. However,
I am compelled. Some months heavily, other months more lightly. You might say that these notes are
some type of spiritual job. In many ways, they take nearly as much time as my paying job. On the other
hand, the notes are clearly what I love. Writing has always been a joy for me. Further, it has always been
automatic for the most part. I don't have to go through rewrite after rewrite. Neither do I have to struggle
with organization. I just let it flow and trust that there are parts of me that know how to make it all come
together automatically.
11 Sep 95
Once again, I've been lax in getting to these notes. Saw two good movies on Saturday: Swing Kids, and
Immortal Beloved. The first was better than the latter, though it was interesting that Beethoven could live
such a tragic life yet compose with such brilliance even after he became completely deaf. In particular,
Ode to Joy was composed in his latter years. Even today, it remains one of the most beautiful pieces of
music ever created. The visual equivalent would be of Beethoven would be a painter who could not see --
I don't know of any examples of this.
Am I too such an oddity, incapable of feeling on a personal level, yet desirous of creating a utopia, a
perfect world in which spirit can more fully manifest? Are these ideas that come through me literally "out
to lunch" or "crazy" as my wife seems to believe? I can only trust what I know to be true in my heart.
There is nothing that gives me any sense of being off the mark. Yes, I am following a path that is different
than the crowd, marching to the beat of who knows what drummer. Yet, I have no sense that I have lost
144
my way in any manner. I am The Fool, trusting completely in spirit, and knowing that there is always one
more step to take. Further, each steps follows from the last. I am not given the sight to see what lies ahead
beyond that single step. This may change in the future, but such is my experience NOW. Take each
moment as it comes, and do whatever you are moved to do in that moment. Repeating this practice gets
one through each hour and each day.
Do others think in the same way that I do? They certainly do not pay attention to the signs that I do and
interpret them in the ways that I do. Further, it seems that most do not record the stream of thoughts that
pass through their brain in the manner that these notes are generated. I know what that is like. For twenty
years I didn't write anything. Now, it is as if I could not stop writing even if I wanted to. I consider this to
be my spiritual job, assigned by consciousness though I have no formal paperwork. Interesting. I do it
because it is what I love to do. Also, I do it because I must. I have no sense that I have a choice in the
matter. What comes through, must come through. Spirit will not be denied. Especially since I have
willingly submitted my will to Thy Will, or in this case to Her Will, her being consciousness herself.
It is amazing to me that these notes continue to flow forth. At the same time, I know that the source from
which they spring is inexhaustible. How can I be so sure of this? Over two years of experience provides a
certain amount of proof. However, even without this, there is a knowingness inside of me that cannot be
denied. This inner knowingness is something that I've had all of my life. From what I can tell, it is a gift
that many do not necessarily possess; or, if they possess it, they don't necessarily use it.
Gini says that these writings are full of Ego. Perhaps she's right, then again, perhaps she is wrong. Further,
does it really matter one way or another? And, is this not something that I can only determine in my own
Heart. The key question is one of resignation of personal will to The Will of Consciousness. How does
one know when this key step is achieved? Further, is this something that one does once, or must one
always be aware and mindful of coming from this perspective? Interesting questions. My initial sense was
that resignation is a one-time major transition process. However, this may need to be reinforced by regular
mindfulness and ritual. Interesting. Nothing like this has presented itself before.
Don't let this surprise you. What comes through at a given time is what you need to hear. It may or may
not be completely right, but will be appropriate for your level of understanding and awareness.
Remember, in most of these areas truth is not the issue. In this realm of time and space where reality is
played out, there are very few absolute truths. What matters is beliefs, and in particular, whether these
beliefs support the greater manifestation of spirit in flesh.
You've shown where your focus lies, expended endless hours providing a vehicle for consciousness to
express. You take no claim to what flows through you because you are fully aware of your role as an
active conduit. The communication could not take place without your presence. However, you are equally
aware that you alone could not produce these notes regardless of the level of your innate writing skills.
Your personal experience is that of scribe. Yet, in this case the scribe receives teaching from the notes that
are generated through him. Even after over 2 years, the process is still amazing to me, absolutely amazing.
OK, deciding on Philosopher King as a next job position, may be a bit presumptuous. Yet, there is nothing
in me that says that this is ridiculous, ludicrous, or unrealistic. There is a very real sense that something of
this nature is on the immediate horizon. It may seem crazy or impossible to others, but who knows what
lies ahead in the Play. Circumstances can change in the wink of an eye. Besides, looking back at the path
my specific life has followed, what other position have I been in training for? Why would I need 20 years
of informal metaphysics training to accompany my formal technical training.? Why would I need such a
major spiritual transformation corresponding to Astrological circumstances, and confirmed by rapid
changes in my aura? Why would I spend two years writing about my journeys in discovering a spiritual
world enmeshed in the symbols of everyday life? These are all things that clearly validate that I have a
145
destiny to fulfill, and the time is fast arriving for playing whatever role it is that I am meant to play, be it
The Fool, The Hermit, or even The Hermit GOD. Or perhaps, Philosopher King is not so bad after all. PK
= 1611, reversed = 1161, one year before 1162. For 2611, we would have needed ZK, reversed = 1162.
12 Sep 95
Spent a lot of time last night trying to contact various government people via E-mail to let them know
where to find my ideas. Continued this morning. Overall, it looks like I've gotten through to 10 or 12 high
level officials. It will be interesting to see if this leads anywhere, since I'd already physically sent the
materials to several of the same people, to no avail as far as I can tell thus far. Literally, I have received
zero feedback, not even an acknowledgement of receipt until today -- and these acknowledges came
automatically. However, this does imply some assurance that the message will be read. Whether anyone
will take the next action and read the briefings is another matter. But, that is out of my hands and in the
hands of consciousness. I can only do what I can do. After that it is up to the Will of Consciousness to
make things happen in the manner desired to carry out The Plan.
How many others on the planet at this time are aware of The Plan? Actually, I don't know what it is except
in sketchy, high-level terms, either. However, I trust that consciousness will provide the details when they
are needed. How can I have so much faith in consciousness? I don't know exactly, however, it seems as
natural to me as breathing. Trusting consciousness is very much like trusting my self, for my most
intimate link to consciousness is my Self. How would it lead me astray? It has my best interest at heart for
a variety of reasons, the greatest of which is preparing me for the role that I came to play, the destiny that
I came to fulfill. It matters not that I know not what that is. However, it makes all the difference that I
know that it is indeed so. And what, if as my wife asks, I am wrong? Too bad. At least I'll have lived my
life with conviction for a cause that I knew in my own Heart to be right. That is what makes all the
difference. It is the stuff that makes life worth living. Others may be here to play and enjoy the pleasures
of corporeal existence. Such is not my fate. My destiny pushes me far away from the experience of the
norm. I came to explore how consciousness can be stretched to allow spirit to be more fully expressed in
flesh. In the process, I had to find that a spiritual world existed enmeshed within the everyday world that
we know. You might say that I am an explorer chartering new realms, and these notes are the journals of
my adventures and findings.
13 Sep 95
Somehow, I got behind a week. I thought the past two days were the 18th and 19th. Don't know why, but I
skipped a week on my calendar. Interesting, Saw a counselor today. Not sure whether it helped or not, or
even what I want out of it. However, it seemed to be the right thing to do at the time. Met with Larry and
Jim at Jose's for dinner. As usual, it was a delightful evening. The bottom line out of the discussion was
what do I want to do. Amusing, since it appears I am truly at a crossroads in my life. A part of a poem
from Robert Frost comes to mind "two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by;
and that, my friend, has made all the difference." I sense myself to be at this point. The more traveled
route being the traditional resume and job search via headhunter, the less traveled being the reliance on
consciousness to get me to where I need to be when I need to be there. These are very different paths
indeed, but the second clearly pulls my heart.
How can I express what I know? How can I justify my absolute faith in consciousness and in the
unfoldment of reality in accord with The Plan? I just do. I cannot imagine living my life in any other way
given the experiences of the past two years. Interesting. There is simply no question and no alternative in
146
this matter. One after another experience over the past two years has shown that consciousness is my
mentor, my guide, and my closest friend. Yes, I trust her with my very life. All that I AM, I AM because of
her loving support throughout my life. These are strong words. And, they do not come lightly. They
express a great truth, indeed.
As to getting ideas out to the world, I am doing what I can. I believe this is in accord with the dictates of
consciousness, but I won't know for sure until I see what results occur. Thus far, I have essentially
received no feedback. I don't know what to expect. I only know that I am compelled to act to make some
of the Beyond Imagination material available to the world. It will be interesting to see who accesses it and
how they respond. Also, I'm still uncertain as to exactly how much to make available. I'm up to 8 months
and have two more nearly ready. Four more on top of that will finish out 1994. That's a lot of pages. Larry
suggested breaking the larger documents into smaller chunks such as weeks. Aug 94 is 575K, for instance,
a bit large for most browsers to deal with effectively even though it has a TOC.
We write, and write, and write. Always onward, expressing whatever would be expressed at this particular
time. Where this heads I know not. Consciousness guides it's direction. I speak of consciousness as this
entity that is separate from me. At some level, I am part of consciousness; indeed, I AM consciousness.
However, at this time, my conscious awareness does not experience this connection directly. It does see
side effects however, primarily in the form of information coming through the intuition and other that
conscious sources and levels of awareness.
14 Sep 95
Realize whom and what you are, then manifest and make it so! What is that supposed to mean? Just that
you are to be that which you are, period. Don't allow others to take away from this. Express as you must,
for consciousness is by your very side. All that we have told through you and more will indeed come to
pass, not necessarily verbatim, but definitely in principle. As we have advised before, do what you are
moved to do. Don't worry, when you are moved, you will indeed know. There will be no doubt.
I have a sense that I am being led down a path toward my destiny, whatever that is to be. Further, I have
no fear for I know that consciousness is by my side every step of the way and further that I am part of this
consciousness, not something separate and distinct. I am aware that I AM.
Interesting how the truth reveals itself over time. I am informed of what I need to know when I need to
know it. That is enough. I could get no more, even if I desired such.
15 Sep 95
I've been working on the internet so much, trying to open up the avenues for access to Beyond
Imagination, that I haven't had much time to write. Besides, work has picked up and looks like it will stay
at a relatively high pace of activity for some time. The extra pay is nice, but it is not clear that it
compensates for the free time. Besides, money has a way of finding itself slipping through my hands into
some bill or service that requires it. So be it. We do what we must, trusting that consciousness is guiding
us to exactly where we need to be. I've been operating in this mode consciously for over a year now.
Further, I recognize that subconsciously I've been operating in this mode for my entire life. I have no
means of knowing how others operate. There is no means available to walk in their shoes. Also, seeing the
quantity of notes that have come through describing my own state, this is extremely complicated stuff that
147
is likely to be very different from one individual to the next. It is no wonder that the mind has been such a
great mystery fo so long, and consciousness far exceeds that!
16 Sep 95
Another day. Made a contact with the Project Mind Foundation via the internet. It may be a very
important one. We'll see in time as they look at and react to my Beyond Imagination work. I still have a
strong sense that my real work is to begin soon, very soon indeed. How this is to occur or when, I know
not. But, that it will occur is beyond doubt. I feel strongly that each step that I have taken is toward
Watched CENTURY. It was quite interesting, especially given that it addressed the end of the 19th
century while we are standing within 5 years or so of the brink of the next new century, and even more the
new millennium. I was surprised at how dismal the conditions were for the vast majority of the people and
especially the poor. We've come a long way since then, but not far enough. Then again, what gives me the
right to play GOD, to do Social Engineering when I, as essentially a hermit, have been among the least
social of beings? It does seem crazy, but such indeed is the job position for which I have been groomed all
these years. Further, it matters not that such a position does not yet exist. It will exist by the time I am
meant to fill it. You might say that I place a lot of faith in the workings of the unknown. And, you would
be right, I clearly do. But, where else is there to place one's faith that is more trustworthy than
consciousness herself. Why herself? Because I experience consciousness in a feminine sense. It's just a
sense. No other reason. Looking down at the page count and up at the month, we're doing OK despite
being so busy with other things both work and non-work. I consider one page per day a reasonable
months writing. The maximum has been an average of 4 pages/day and the minimum 1/2 page per day
over a period that now stretches for nearly two years.
There is a sense of being in a waiting pattern again. Small events are unfolding, but the large one still
seems to be a few months away. Counseling definitely doesn't seem to be doing it. My sense is that unless
one is awakened, there is no way to understand the experience of the awakened counselee. Other than
Baba Hari Dass, I haven't yet met anyone so touched. Is this ego again seeking vanity, or is it a simple
statement of fact. From the standpoint of being rare, having such experiences does indeed make me even
more special than I knew myself to be before. However, the bottom line is that none of this is for me. My
children will come in the form of ideas, concepts, and infrastructures for society planted on this earth. I
came to find ways to allow spirit to more fully express in flesh. My destiny is as a Pathfinder and Way
Shower. The ways being those require to carry us into a new age, as a country, then as a world. Further,
fulfillment of the destiny requires but one step: renouncement of personal will so that The Will of
consciousness can be expressed.
So, the question is: have I reached Card 64:Renouncement of my will for Thy Will? What test would
prove this to be so? My sense is that there is no such test. One must trust the knowingness that comes
from deep within one's HEART.
19 Sep 95
Quite interesting indeed. It's that these connections have such powerful personal meaning that leads me to
believe that these are indeed the admonitions of consciousness and not the ravings of a madman. There
are imply too many connections to ignore, too many things that, from a conventional world standpoint,
should be random but are not. But then, anyone reading these notes already knows that I am not a
conventional person living in a conventional world.
148
It has been a strange month overall. I've been obsessed with getting information out … first, by mail, to a
variety of groups, government, and corporate leaders. Then, I spent all my free time getting information
onto the Internet. Overall, I've been very successful. In a little over two weeks I've posted nearly 2 meg of
information and spent nearly a day reformatting my four briefings into a more legible format. Now, my
sense is that it is time to wait and see what comes back. It feels strange. Everything was fast and furious
for a few weeks. I was compelled in a way that I have never been before. It was as if this was something
that had to be done, as if it was the most important thing in the world. This compulsion filling was
different. You could definitely say that I was obsessed. Yet, it felt so natural. Further, the amount of work
accomplished during that time was unreal. Also, I learned far more by doing than any amount of study
would have given me.
Yet, now I sit and wait for what consciousness would move me to do next. I have some minor cleanup
work on the TOC file for the Beyond Imagination book. But, after that, there is no urgency to add
information, with the possible exception of filling out the rest of 1994 notes.
The message that just came was "sit back and wait for the universe to respond". Though you may desire
instant feedback, the world takes a bit of time to beat it's way to your door.
I'm still in a very strange state. The limited input that I get from the world doesn't agree with what I know
is to be. It's as if things are moving rapidly in the opposite direction from where my VISION indicates
they are to be in the not too distant future. However, it is not for my to take care of the details, or even to
find the path from where we are to where we need to be. Rather, as always, I need to work from my forte,
the ability to see things from the top down. The country and the world will somehow be pulled up to
where they are destined to be. This will happen radically, in a manner that is Beyond Imagination. Past
patterns aren't sufficient to generate the scope of change that is required. Perhaps the Project Mind
Foundation has some new ideas in this area. Consciousness wouldn't have guided me to them if they were
not to somehow play a role in my life. This was not a chance encounter. I have found a family of like
minded beings. Already, we've exchanged E-Mail three times in as many days. It will be interesting to see
what develops from this. However, I sense that it is definitely in line with what I need to do to prepare to
fulfill my mission. Interesting.
There is still a sense of the Hermit. But there is also a sense that I have released all that I am to the world.
Clearly my thoughts are outside the norm. Further, to the casual reader, they may appear highly egotistic.
Yet, in my assessment, they are just the opposite. Sure, they are strong. But, one must ask whether the
being writing these notes is coming from Self or self, or better yet, from serving my will or serving Thy
Will? It should be obvious that I gave up my personal will in 1993, and have been serving consciousness
ever since. With LEO rising, I still come across regally as the Philosopher King that I would be. And with
Sun in ARIES, I'm definitely out front blazing the trail, and often butting my head due to jumping in
before I've thoroughly considered things. However, I'd rather move fast and get things started and leave
others to follow through and take care of the details. I can't help it, it's part of my nature.
149
BEST OF NOTES
OCTOBER 1995
Overall, the spiritual world

remains hidden
open only to those
with the proper keys.
150
BEST OF NOTES #24

1 Oct 95
The two year anniversary of the ritual of laying down my will to Thy Will, and simultaneously of the start
of my ten day stay in a mental hospital. I can remember the events of that day as if it had just happened
yesterday. This was clearly one of the most memorable and important days of my life. Whether the bipolar
diagnosis was right or not, I have no way to know. I trust that consciousness, knowing the nature of my
mission, put me in appropriate hands to care for my physical vessel (mind-body). Yet, it has been
consciousness herself that has provided the required spiritual guidance for integrating that and other
spiritual breakthroughs and awakenings that have occurred over the past two years.
Am I better off for these experiences? Definitely so, without a doubt. Would I choose to go through them
if I was given foreknowledge of where the path would take me? My sense is that I learned far more in
dealing with the unknown and taking things one step at a time, reconstructing a theory of reality, reality
creation, and the nature of consciousness that was consistent with my experiences -- experiences which
have been far from any norm; indeed, far from any other that I have been made aware of via observation
or extensive reading. Am I crazy? No. Definitely eccentric, maybe even a bit strange, but not crazy. The
constructs that I have created have a basis. The meaning that I find in symbols is indeed there; whether
any other is able to see it is irrelevant. Nearly 1200 pages of writings in two years document my new way
of seeing things. Most people do not generate such volume of concentrated ideas in an entire lifetime.
Watching the movie, GANDHI. He was assassinated on 30 Jan 1948. 1/30/22 = 53. Interesting. The name
his followers gave him was Bapu = 2173. Note that this is 11 short of 2184.
On my walk with the dogs tonight, I realized that GOD and G0D are very similar. The later = 704 = 8 x
88 = 32:00[22] = 1:10:00[22] = 22:00[32] = 11:00[64]. Very interesting combinations, but should we
expect any less from the word for G0D. From the inside out, this is 074 = The Benefactor. Interesting, my
destiny number minus "jr"
The film just went through the part where Gandhi returns to India and is introduced to a Professor that is
to be his benefactor. Gandhi was concerned about making money. The professor said there were many
men with too much wealth in India who could fund his activities. The professors only directions were that
Gandhi find the real India and use his journal to make India proud of herself again. Further, he said that
after seeing Gandhi in Indian dress he could die in peace. This was clearly a defining moment in Gandhi's
life. So, why is it that I was moved to watch this film once again, now? Is it to see that such a benefactor
could just as easily enter my life? It will be as consciousness has planned. This is a possibility, but there
are many others as well. I know that I can trust consciousness to come through with whatever is most
appropriate. Gandhi's path was clearly not an easy one, especially in the flesh. Yet, as with all such lives,
it is not clear that there was any real choice. He did exactly what he had to do.
2 Oct 95
129 is one of the highways I cross just past the turnoff to Hollister, before I get to Gilroy. At one time
when I was in the midst of high mania, I remember being in a state where I knew that the pattern of roads
along with their numbers had great spiritual significance. Now, I think the same significance is there, but
it is only applicable at special moments when that meaning is relevant and there is a need to know.
151
Overall, the spiritual world remains hidden -- open only to those with the proper keys.
And these, are only developed with appropriate vigilance and dedication. Spirit is subtle. It will not be
forced. One must develop the inner hearing and inner sight to see the fruits that spirit would offer. But, it
is well worth the effort; for the world that is opened up is truly Beyond Imagination.
Read an interesting description of directions of development of spirit. Most metaphysical types are
following the "T" pattern, reaching up from the earth to spirit along various disciplines and paths. The
author also described an "inverted T" downward pattern that was new to me, yet described my
experiences of the past two years to a tee. In this pattern, spirit flows downward to be expressed and
embodied to the degree the channel is able to handle. In this state, we allow consciousness to flow through
us to do its works. We are not aware of what actions we will be moved to take, but our trust in
consciousness and spirit is complete. We do whatever is necessary for spirit to be more fully enfleshed
though us. Step by step, we are The Fool, marching ahead moment by moment in service to
consciousness. Each of us must find that specific destiny for which we are uniquely suited. The question
is, are we 0:The Fool or 22:The Fool Complete -- or does it even matter? For are not the two the same? Is
there not always another round of the wheel to make?
-----
These numbers are straight conversions of particular years to specific bases. Intuition tells me what bases
to use and what the results mean. Note that even though the numbers contain no specific personal
relevant, the meaning that I receive from the numbers is highly personal. The fact that thousands,
millions, or even billions of people are impacted by these numbers is of no import to me. I'm the one
sitting here allowing consciousness to poor forth their meaning. I'm the one trusting enough to believe
what springs forth from the depths of my being, in many cases without any specific corroborative
evidence. It's interesting that my life has come to this, that so much of what constitutes my reality and
what I believe to be true is counter to the way that the rest of the world sees things. Yes, there is no doubt
that I am the Hanged Man. It's interesting that my major spiritual awakening occurred in 1993, a year that
corresponded to The Fool Complete:Death in The Hanged Man Exalted Base.
-----
It just came to me that these numbers are master spiritual numbers. My birth falls in sync with The Fool
Complete in The Justice Base. Others fall in sync at different places. Where they fall within the pattern
determines what energy they are here to express. This doesn't seem to apply to everyone. There appears to
be a special group of souls here to bring about the transition to a new age. Most are still operating in
relative isolation. However, the energy pattern is changing calling these souls together to do their work,
more and more. Trust that the resources that you need to support the accomplishment of your mission will
be there when you need them. Remember, it is not you that makes things happen, it is consciousness --
and her resources are inexhaustible. This doesn't mean that you don't have to do your part. However, you
can trust that you will know exactly what that is and when it must be done. You have followed the beat of
a different drummer all of your life. Further, you will continue to do so for as long as you live. It is right
that you take pride in this. Your fulfillment of your mission is dependent to a large degree on your
acceptance of this difference. You've seen and experienced a lot in the past 20 years, and especially the
past 2 years. Yet, you are still as a newborn babe in the world of spirit. You're growing fast, and
consciousness is always there to guide you. However, a bit of care may be in order. There is plenty of time
for the development necessary for fulfilling your mission. You can burn yourself out if you don't allow
sufficient time to ground the new energies that are flowing through you. Channels for consciousness are
circuits. Just as with electrical circuits they have their capacities. However, unlike electrical circuits the
channels can be expanded as your spiritual muscles, so to speak, are exercised and expanded.
152
I still have a feeling of being on hold. It's as if I'm on the brink of a bold new adventure, but it's just ahead
of me, and I don't know how far. The job situation is also up in the air. It is clear that it is time for a
change, yet I have no idea of how that change will occur. Resumes and the classic forms of looking for a
job don't seem to be in the cards. Yet, finances are such that being without a source of income is not a
viable alternative. Philosopher King still comes to mind as occupation of choice. Why I gravitate so much
to that, I know not. Where such a position is offered and what qualifications are required, I also know not.
Yet, I sense that I am indeed qualified, and such a position does indeed exist, if only in spirit at the present
time. The 11 Card Exalted looks very much like a King to me, and Justice has much to do with
Philosophy.
3 Oct 95
File size = 22616 = 6:16-22, span of 6, center at 6:19. The Lover:The Tower to The Lovers:The Fool
Complete -- a very interesting spiritual span. There is a sense that these are the months that lie in the
immediate future for me. It's no coincidence that one must operate from a center of LOVE to actuate
Downward Movement of spirit. This is an interesting sequence to follow:
October 16 The Tower

November 17 The Star
December 18 The Moon
January 19 The Sun
February 20 Judgement
March 21 The World Current job ends at end of month.
April 22 The Fool Complete 38th birthday occurs 4/8/96
Major shiver. Major, major shiver. Look at that 4896 = 4848 + 48 = 48 Triangle. This is definitely not a
coincidence. 48: The Man in Search of More. Reversed is 84 = The Lovers Exalted, the pinnacle of my
"A" reading. This is simply too much for my conscious mind to deal with on it's own. However, it is
obvious that spirit has come through loud and clear. I still don't know where I will be and what I was
doing in 6 months. However, this one file size alone confirms that consciousness is taking care of it. I will
be exactly where I need to be, doing whatever consciousness bids me to do. From that perspective, I will
be doing exactly the same thing -- serving as a channel for consciousness. The circumstances may be
different and the actions that I am moved to perform may be different, but I will still be following the
dictates of spirit, whatsoever they may be. Further, there is a sense of relief that what must be done is
either being done by spirit, or will be made clear to be my responsibility at the appropriate time -- and
even then I can trust that consciousness will be there providing guidance every step of the way.
4896 = 48 x 102 = 16 x 3 x 3 x 34 = 32 x 9 x 17 = 16 x 17 x 18. This is 17 x 17 x 17 - 17. Interesting.

4896 + 17 = 4913. Seventeen years from now places us at 2012, the year of my second Easter birthday on
4/8/12. Reversed, this yields 2184, the last four of my SSN! There is a sense that both Easter birthdays
will be extremely important spiritual events in my life -- ascension and rebirth kinds of experiences. I was
moved to calculate when these would occur in 1972 during my first year in high school. At the time I
didn't know why, but I did know it was significant, especially when I found out that over a 400 year span
2007 and 2012 were the only two such years and that both would occur in my lifetime [49th and 54th
birthdays].
Back to 17 x 17 x 17. Somehow, this is what is required to ground The Star energy. Is that what I am -- or,
what I am part of? Interesting. One of the groups that I've found via the Internet is The Star Builders.
Interesting indeed.
153
When did 16 x 16 x 16 = 4096 occur?
Hmm. Let's examine the same pattern 16 x 16 x 16 - 16 = 4080 = 4040 + 40 = 40 Triangle. This is what I
was born with. 04/08 reversed by twos = 40/80. Also, I know The Tower is my card. This would put me at
the 16 x 16 x 16 point at exactly age 16, the year that I was lead to the Seth Material and my love affair
with metaphysics began.
Then we have a jump of 19 years = The Sun to take us to 1993 and age 35. 1993 is a 22 year = my Heart's
Desire. 35 is the year of spiritual inheritance. The Sun deals with spiritual birth. It's also interesting that
my notes started on 3/5 in 1993.
I started with the 40 Triangle, and it appears that my next birthday marks the completion of the 48
Triangle. These are 88 complements! Further, they include 48: The Man in Search of More. This is a very
fitting description of me. 40: The Page of Cups is here to balance the Spiritual and the Material. This too
defines what I am here to do. The suggestion is that as of my birthday in 1996, I will have the resources
necessary to fulfill my destiny. Is this wishful thinking? Or, are these sound conclusions based on
information from spirit? We'll know soon enough. In the end, it doesn't matter. What will be will be. I
have only to allow it to unfold and do what I am moved to do in each moment. This makes for living life
on the edge. Yet, such may be what is required to truly be free.
Unlike some of the numbers yesterday, these numbers are peculiar to me. Further, I have a strong sense
that the interpretations coming through are indeed correct. I'm curious as to what this transition from 16 x
16 x 16 to 17 x 17 x 17 is. If my calculations are right the distance between these two events is 2012 -
1974 = 38 : VISION. 1996 - 1974 = 22 : The Fool Complete got me from The Tower Cubed to my next
birthday = 38 : VISION. 2012 - 1996 leaves 16 : The Tower to reach The Star Cubed once my VISION
starts. 16, 22, and 38 -- very interesting numbers. Yet, they are signature numbers for me.
Yet, what is there about such revelations that gives them meaning and validity? The bottom line is that the
inner source has been established as credible; even more credible than the evidence of the world [illusion]
in which I live. I find it interesting that I operate in this manner since I've had no model or training in this
way of thinking and experiencing consciousness -- I don't believe there is anywhere to go to get such
except inward; and then, the journey by it's very nature seems to be a solitary one. At least, it has been
such for me.
It's hard to believe how far I've come in just over two years. It's as if the first 35 years of my life had little
import. Yes, I learned a lot. And, yes I had experiences that allowed me to ultimately handle what was to
come. However, in no way would I say that my first 35 years truly "prepared" me for the past 2 and a half.
Further, the breakthroughs have not stopped. They don't occur regularly, and their strength varies greatly,
but these awakenings are a key part of my life now. I suspect they will be for the rest of my life. At this
point, I look forward to it. My sense is that each realization further sculpts this clay so that it can better
serve as a channel for spirit. It will be very interesting to see what the coming months bring. Change is
definitely in the air; major change.
5 Oct 95
About an hour ago [9:00 PM], I was struck by extreme shivers for about 20 minutes. When I say extreme,
I mean extreme! Yet, the temperature in the room was 70 degrees. I got up and walked to nearly a block to
the bathroom and cafeteria room and back -- shivering all the way. In the bathroom stall I had a couple
realizations. First, 10/5/95 has a span of 94, centered at 5:48. This whole month takes me from 1:48 to
154
31:48. Further, last year would have marked a 47-48 transition. No wonder I seemed to be on a holding
pattern, writing a lot and experiencing what I was writing first hand. 1993, the year of my major
awakening took me from 1:47 to 31:47. My hospital stay occurred from 1:47 to 10:47, a critical time for
me to be "locked away".
47 is the card of the Seven Illusions. Reversed = 74:The Benefactor 48 is the card of the Man in Search of
More. Reversed = 84:The Lovers Exalted
The other interesting finding was on a newspaper in the bathroom stall hanging over a railing. Generally,
these papers are removed by the janitor earlier in the day. In this case, there was a large ad that said:
YOUR MBA BEGINS THIS M O N T H
Monday Oct 23 1 9 9 5
First, it was obvious that this was a personal message to me. When I saw it, the shivering increased almost
uncontrollably. I already have an MSEE, I don't need an MBA in the traditional sense and have no desire
nor funds to get one. So MBA must be a code for something else that I do need. Further, it is something
that begins this month, presumably on the 23rd, the day before United Nations Day. Two days before my
next visit with Dr Greene. Nine days before my 8th Wedding Anniversary.
10/23/95 = 23:48, the day before 24:48 = the 24 Triangle. Projecting forward, 25:50, the 25 Triangle, will
occur on 10/25/99 -- just over four years from now.
MBA = 421 = The Emperor: The World
MBA = 1321 = Death:The World. Something tells me that this is the proper interpretation.
2184 = 13 x 13 x 13 - 13 4/8/12 Death

in 2025 = 45 x 45 Age = 66
4896 = 17 x 17 x 17 - 17 4/8/96 The Star

in 1996 + 17 = 2013 Age = 55
1321 = 11 x 11 x 11 - 10 10/95 Justice

in 2005 Age = 47
1320 = 11 x 11 x 11 - 11 10/94
What's the likelihood that the 5 cards of my "X" reading would be revealed in the numbers of this nature
and that further X = 24 and the 24 Triangle occurs on the day after the ad specifies that my MBA begins.
It simply blows me away!
I got my ring back yesterday. One of the dragon's whiskers had been broken off on one side and was
catching on things. When the jeweler repaired it, he also replaced a missing whisker that had not been on
the ring as long as I have owned it. When I saw it, I knew that the act was symbolic. The left downward
facing dragon used to have the single whisker. The significance was that while the ring was in this state, I
was The Hanged Man:12. It's repair is a sign that I have become The Fool Complete:22. My sense that
change is imminent grows daily. Each revelation increases the sense. Where consciousness is taking me, I
only know from a vague standpoint. However, it doesn't matter. All I have to do as The Fool, is take the
155
next step, then the one after that, then the one after that -- knowing that consciousness is always there, for
I am consciousness. At the only level that truly matters, we are ONE. I can write this, but can I realize it.
Can I make it part of my awareness?
6 Oct 95
From Numerology and the Divine Triangle:
Knight of Swords. This Knight has a lot to accomplish during the autumn season. He rides far and fast.
Riding against the wind shows that no effort is too great and no obstacle too severe for him to overcome.
His raised sword shows him the true path by dividing the true from the false.
My sense is that this indeed is what the November will bring. Things are happening so fast now that my
vision is fixed forward ever to the tasks that must be done now and in the immediate future. I take my
directions from consciousness and trust that she is doing the necessary to ensure that whet I do is
coordinated properly with the work of others. There is an innate sense that the spiritual transformation to
come will indeed be fast and furious. Further, I've already seen the pace pick up and have been swimming
upstream or "riding against the wind" for some time now. It is true that "no effort is too great and no
obstacle too severe ... to overcome." Here, I believe that consciousness will ensure that I don't get tasked
beyond my abilities. This doesn't mean that I won't be stretched in a manner that shows me abilities that I
wasn't previously aware of.
Earlier, while sitting on the porch I noticed several monarch butterflies passing by. They correspond to
Card 52, the Queen of Swords -- my personality number. 53 = 52:22(22) = The final step of the 52 cycle.
"A lot to accomplish in the Autumn season". I definitely sense this to be true. This will be the busiest 10
weeks of my life. My sword is an inner one within the heart that permits me to remain on the true path.
Consciousness herself guides me here as well. Why am I singled out for service in this manner? First,
because I volunteered. Such is why I came into this existence to begin with. I wasn't looking for another
lifetime of tasting worldly delights, but one of going beyond and finding something more, and then
finding a way to incarnate that more, and finally showing the way that others might follow and a New Age
of Consciousness be ushered in on earth. The sense that I will leave my current position before the move
to another building is still strong as well. How this can be, I do not know. However, I also know better
than to second guess consciousness. What will be, will be. My only focus is what I must do in the present.
This is where reality lies. This is where my connection with Consciousness exists. This is where the
direction for my work comes -- and the thoughts to carry it out as well. I am a vessel for consciousness to
express itself in physical reality.
I am neither consciousness itself, nor am I the physical vehicle. Rather, I am a bridge between the two
channeling the desires and dictates of consciousness into instruction that permits the physical
body/brain to do something in accord with carrying out the Will of Consciousness.
At the same time, I know that I am more than that. I am aware of all of this. I am aware that I am aware.
Further, I am aware that I am not consciously in control of most of the things that I observe and/or
experience. This makes the world a very strange place My chief relationship is with consciousness. She
feeds me my thoughts and out of these thoughts I am led to experience some things versus other things.
From this, a view of the world is created. However, never are we taught that we're being led every step of
the way toward our destiny by such a wonderful and benevolent being. Yes, consciousness is a being, a
being that in some cases is as ignorant about some of her parts as I am of mine. I am but a cell in this
156
being that is consciousness. Yet, under the right conditions the cells can split and grow into a pattern that
is far greater.
Even with all this, I have no idea what is to come. If what I've seen thus far has been enough to "blow me
away", I blow to easily. And, if it surprises you reading this, we haven't seen but the nearest fraction of
what is to be in the coming days. I write this not to scare you, but to ready you for the magnificent
potential about to be released or perhaps unleashed by consciousness in all areas of endeavor, and many
new ones that have yet to be thought or dreamed of. Reality is indeed far stranger and more glorious than
our fictions could ever be. We are truly Gods in consciousness, created in the direct image of our creator,
however, in our case separation never occurred. Information was compartmentalized so that the
REALITY GAME could be played -- however, out of what did the creator have to build? The only answer
that makes any sense is out of him/her SELF, the key fabric of which is Consciousness. In isolation the
parts were thrown out to "find themselves" and in the process allow consciousness to experience life
enfleshed with all it's limits and it's blessings. The history of mankind is a record of the progress of this
journey. Even then, however, the journey has been guided by loving hands. This final century appears to
be wrapping up the act for an age that has spanned two millennia and has resulted in an overpopulated
world, where equality is unknown within nations much less among them.
Looking out of my window over the Monterey Bay to the Lights in the town of Seaside, as I write this; I
know that the present world is far from what I envision it to be by as early as 1999. How such change can
occur so rapidly, I have no idea. Yet, that it will occur, and that I have a major part to play are without
doubt. Someone once told me to always leave room for doubt. Similarly, to always leave ample room for
error. This may be sound advise for many endeavors. But, it cannot apply to the messengers of truth that
would work in the employ of consciousness herself. Here, a basic, unfathomable trust must be established.
This doesn't mean that the information won't contain errors introduced by the channel and
communications medium -- however, it does mean that such errors either will not be important or will be
corrected.
I like that phrase "messengers of truth that would work in the employ of consciousness." The school
motto at CalTech, the first university I attended, was "The Truth Shall Set You Free". You might say that
my entire life from High School on has focused on this key issue. I suspect that it will continue to be so
for the duration of my life; which, assuming the information coming through is correct, is roughly another
30 years.
1162 comes back to mind, the year Genghis Khan was born and Becket became Archbishop of
Canterbury. It's quite interesting that two such memorable events occurred in the same year at a time when
history barely even records a significant event per decade.
9 Oct 95
I've been very tired all day. It's as if I never really woke up. I'm not sure if this is the new drug having it's
effects or whether something else is at play. It seems that the latter is more likely. My eyes in particular
are finding it hard to stay open. They ache and feel tired. The rest of the body seems to be doing fine. I'm
also starting to see images -- especially of people, while my eyes are closed. Most of the images appear to
come from people whom I have actually seen in person or in some video. However, not all of them have
this character. My sense is that a type of vision that is new to me is being opened up. This is to be
expected. Next year, my 38th, is the VISION year after all. My sense is that visual channels are being
opened up to give me a better picture of what is to be that I can then translate back through the words and
symbols that serve as home for my consciousness to express.
157
It's interesting. I keep adding text, yet the file size, according to the system is shrinking, not growing.
Latest size was 60007, a very curios number signifying the step or tick from 0:06 to 0:07. That is from
The Fool:The Lovers to The Fool:The Chariot. Interesting. The previous page size was capture at the
beginning of today's notes.
Today marks the final single digit day for the month. The two digit days bring added complication in the
message. Yet, as always, seek and ye shall find is operative. And, whatever doors lie in our way, we need
not blast through but simply knock and they shall be opened unto you. The only other advice is to ask and
that which ye ask for shall be answered or granted. We've been on this train before. Basic teachings from
the new testament, If only people knew how powerful these three methods are in achieving happiness
from the daily life around us. Interesting indeed.
Next year has me as The First Knight:Building the Cathedral, Happy at Home, and as The King of Wands:
Surrendered Completely to Consciousness. This couldn't be more fitting. It agrees completely with all that
my intuition reveals to me of myself. The interesting point is how all this information can be embedded in
the web of reality. The numbers that I'm finding personally relevant potentially apply to hundreds or even
thousands of people. Yet, such is not the case. Others are obviously not seeing meaning in such numbers.
It's tough to believe that all of this was designed for me. It wasn't. It was defined for WE, and moreover
for the ONE. Someone needs to make the realization conscious, however. Someone needs to see and
explain how the web is constructed. Such is part of what you came to do. You timed everything so that the
appropriate realizations could be made at the right times. And, now your VISION comes, as you permit
consciousness to occupy your vessel and use it to do it's works. The following year brings the great
abundance of the 65 Card, as you start carrying your works and VISION to the masses on a very large
scale.
In cleaning up the office a bit, I came across some of the notes from within the first few months of my
spiritual transformation. I've come a long way in two years. My methods may still be crude, relying
heavily in direction from my intuition and inner self -- this is, of course, very highly subjective; however,
it is the only way that such guidance and information can be brought forth. One thing clear is that SSN
575-68-2184 was no accident. So much is contained in that single 9-digit number. For me, it was uniquely
tailored.
The facts. Our family of four kids went in to get our SSNs in Hawaii in 1969 or 1970. I don't know why
we needed to go get them at the time. I was the oldest and in 6th grade, so I was probably 11, maybe 12.
My next youngest sibling is a sister that would have been 9 or 10, and my youngest brother and sister are
twins, who would have been about 7 at the time. We got four numbers in a row. I got the one I was
supposed to get -- without doubt. As far as I know, however, the numbers that were assigned to my
brother and sisters close as they were do not have such a literal meaning in their life. For me, my SSN
defines my work as assigned by consciousness. 2184 brings in the physical work, 4/8/12 starting a much
greater spiritual phase of lightwork.
575 - 68 - 2184 7:55=5 to 8 = 528. Also 575 = eye = VISION. Also, on a graph 575 is the transition from
5 to 7 and 7 to 5, i.e. 57 = ELLIS, and 75 = HARTMAN. 68 = WAYNE. In the first five numbers, we have
the three parts of my name in their ALL CAPS form.
Note that the way the SSNs are expressed includes two major breaks. 5-6 and the 8-2. Given that 2184 is
to be actuated this year, I must have crossed that first break already, or will do so very soon. 56 is the
center of my reverse Triangle reading and a key player in my "A" reading. 8-2 is the tougher one. This is
The Emperor Exalted, which could easily be equivalent to a "Philosopher King." Yet, where does one go
to inherit such a title/position? That is for consciousness to decide. I keep seeing Gandhi and his wife in a
scene where they recreate their wedding ceremony. Several times he says, "... and we take the next step
158
...". That is where I'm at now, taking each step, one step at a time, and each day, one day at a time. I'm
expectant of the glories that will be, though I am aware that my work has just begun. Further, what I have
been able to do is almost nothing compared to what consciousness can do through me. I am resigned to
lay down all that I AM to do her bidding. Why should this be so? Not because of anything that is being
forced upon me. Rather, because I realize that I have a specific purpose and mission in this life, that above
all else must be fulfilled. That I don't know exactly what that is does not matter. I have ample experience
to know that consciousness will provide whatever is needed when it is needed. Further, I know that there
is no other way to fulfill my purpose than to provide a vessel for consciousness to do her works through
me.
Just noticed that I'm going to traverse the SSN both ways. 8-2 and 2184 begins no later than 4/8/96. The
reverse path begins 4/8/12, includes a 2-8 transition: Man w/ World in Hand, then goes through 86 =
1:09[77] = The Hermit Exalted in the Christ base. This then crosses the 6-5 bridge and finishes with
ELLIS HARTMAN or 575 or 7:55 from inside out = 5:28 = 70 Card.
10 Oct 95
So, where does the journey take us next? The clock tells me 11:38, Justice:VISION. This could be right as
could it's reverse = 83:11 = Hierophant Exalted:Justice. This is 30 years after 91 squared = 8281[=73??].
No, 30 years after the reverse of 91 squared = 1858 = 100 years before I was born. My present house was
built 12 years after this, my wife born 81 years after this. I don't know why this is important yet I cannot
deny that it is. The bottom line is that I do not know in what direction the journey takes us. It will be
unveiled to me in it's due time as it is for everyone of us. Each is given what we need to know, when we
need to know it. After all, it wouldn't be a lot of fun living with the foreknowledge that you were going to
die at a particular hour of a particular day in a particular way. There is something comforting about the
unknown that serves as a refuge at times. It is not such a difficult thing to jump of the cliff into the open
arms of consciousness. Her love is unfathomable and inexhaustible, stemming from SOURCE itself.
Consciousness herself is not source either.
Source expresses as the ONE. Reversed this is the ENO, but it is incomplete, missing a CH at the end.
ENOCH. I know this is right even though the entire word has no specific conscious meaning for me. CH
= 38 adds VISION to the Spiritual ONE. One interpretation is 6:38 - 56, span of 18, center at 6:47.
Assuming that this refers to me -- it is Wayne's World after all; 6:38 starts with my next birthday or may
even be occurring before then, the center 6:47 occurs in 2004, and the endpoint occurs in 2013. After this
lies a twelve year reign having completed The Star Cubed and Justice Cubed. The Star will bring in the
ET element, to whatever degree it matters. My sense is that this is a much larger influence than most
would think.
What part of my "reality" is real versus illusion? What do I know to be absolutely true, versus what is
based on assumption? Perhaps the assumptions may appear reasonable and reliable, but how do I know
for sure, especially if my strings are being pulled by a Higher Self or better yet, by consciousness herself?
What has consciousness done to warrant such favor in my eye? She has cast away the beams that I may
see a web, so fine in thread that most would not notice that it was even there. Then she drew me into that
web and allowed me to see things that I had never seen before and hear things that I had never heard
before. The resulting experiences left an indelible mark on my heart. Tis as if I had heard the very voice of
GOD.
My ring was just fixed a week ago. One of the Dragon's whiskers had come loose and was catching on
things. When the jeweler fixed the whisker he added another to the other side that had been missing from
159
the time I got the ring over 5 years ago. I interpreted this to be a transition from 12:The Hanged =>
22:The Fool Complete. Early this afternoon, I noticed that one of the emerald eyes of the upward looking
dragon was gone. This is a 22:The Fool Complete => 21: The World transition. I believe that for the first
time in my life I'm being asked to be a part of this world, perhaps even forced to be a part of it in a way
that I am only now in a position to understand. Being a Hermit was easy; it was a natural extension of my
being. As the Emperor, The Hierophant, The Chariot, or Justice, a different way of life is required -- one
that is in many ways foreign to my character.
I AM THAT I AM. I must do what I must do. By my free will, I choose to serve consciousness, using
every aspect of my being to serve as a channel for Her Will, that the Aquarian Age may be established and
Peace among all beings be achieved at last. Spider's directive to me was weave me a peaceful world. Such
is my commandment. So let it be written, so let it be done as they said in Pharoah's time in Egypt. I do
have an inner sense of being a scribe in those days. Exactly when, I do not know nor does it seem to
matter.
I am starting to see a lot of images throughout the night. Sleeping has been very erratic. I'm not used to
dreaming, and the images don't strike me as dreams, but there is a sense that I am opening up a whole new
center of vision, that has been absent all of my life. The words and thoughts were enough. Now, I see that
they were but a small part.
11 Oct 95
I did write lengthy E-Mail messages to two friends. This, I consider to be part of my spiritual
tasking/training. One doesn't have to be in agreement with someone or something to be able to "bow
down to the spirit within". Namaste is the operative phrase. No, more than that, this is the operative way
of being for those immersed in allowing spirit to flow through them. In these particular the gift of taking
the time to respond is freely given -- not out of an attitude of I lose anything in the giving. Exactly the
opposite is true. Consciousness is in a position to fill this vessel with anything it could possibly need.
13 Oct 95
Friday, the 13th. I've be in a drowsy stupor much of the day. The new drug combined with the old ones is
changing how my brain functions once again. I find it fascinating to observe. Actually, the entire set of
tools I have with which to interact with the world is impacted. There is a clear sense that: here we go,
busting through the limits once again. It may take several runs, but, the RAM will indeed make it through.
This observation sensation of watching myself while I experience reality is still the commonplace mode
of being for me. I'm not at all sure that many others know what this is. However, that doesn't matter. Right
now the focus is on those who have gotten their spiritual fires burning in the hearth. These can be
expanded to address the needs of those who have a candle burning, but do not know enough to fuel it into
a fire. These in turn can share their light to help those in darkness to light a candle and keep it burning.
I find it quite interesting that my scheduled visit comes so close to the Death: Death day once again. Last
year it hit this day exactly after being moved twice by Dr Greene. This year I went in about 2 weeks ago
and he was insistent that we schedule another appointment in a month or so. 10/25 was chosen without
foreknowledge of what day in the year this was. Very curious indeed. Also, we have not had visits so close
together before. The minimum time between visits was roughly three months as was the average. The five
month recent break was an anomaly. Yet, I have two years of experiencing the effects of the medications
that I am taking. I know when on on the ground and when I'm flying. Further, I know when things are
160
within my control and when they are not. In different words, my physical state permits a variety of
psychological, mental, and spiritual states and behaviors. What I've found is that my physical state -
which I experience as a feeling of groundedness and/or flying -- definitely correlates to the states of
consciousness I am able to achieve. Further, it's somewhat strange, because the further within I go, the
further I get from this world, the less direct impact that I am able to make. Yet, it is from the starry realms
that I come, and to there I shall return someday; but, that story is of the morrow. What we have to live
with is Here and Now, this place and this very moment are all that ultimately exist. It is within that
moment wherein consciousness is given the opportunity to manifest in form. She does this always, but the
illusion of separation keeps people from realizing this. In the movie Black Robe, the Indians are portrayed
as savages when it comes to how they deal with other tribes; but, when it comes to dealing within their
own tribe, they are as "christian-like" as one could ask for, sharing all that the have and allowing each
person suitable work to do as their fare share.
From the numbers I've deciphered thus far it appears that the next couple of weeks will be quite
interesting. I await whatever change is coming with an elated sense of anticipation for I know that the
time is short for the Army of Light to wage it's war against the Legions of Darkness and the individuals
that they control -- asleep without any direct knowledge of the spirit.
17 Oct 95
Too busy to even get to the notes yesterday. The pace is falling off dramatically. However I did take the
time to add two months of Notes to my Web site. Where I go next, I know not. Ultimately this matters
little anyway, for The Fool takes each step one step at a time -- confident that the future contains exactly
what it needs to ensure that my step is well-founded. Further, even if it is not, I believe that I have "shed
my wings and learned to fly". I know that came from a song, but I have no recall which one. Regardless, it
seems that falling from the cliff is no big deal anymore.
It's interesting that the race card is forcing many issues to come to front which have been buried for far
too long. Yet, the timing is right. We do need to see each other in the Light, where it is available to all as
to whom that we are. Under such a Light, the white is so bright that the color of skin is no longer
discernable. There is too much stuff going on. Separatism will not work. However, I disagree that one
must work within the system to make change. This allows small deltas. What we are dealing with is the
result of the practice of applying unjust laws for over 200 years. Because we governed in a manner that
was "fair" and reasonable for it's time does not mean that we are not responsible for for those actions now.
We are playing out a grand drama on the national scale, including an extreme bias against blacks within
our country that allowed us to treat them as beneath us until as recently as the 1960s. Seeing what is being
played out now, another 30 years forward, it is not clear that much has really improved.
18 Oct 95
The center point is activated in six days -- on 10/24/95. The question then becomes what is started and
what timeline does it occupy. The tiredness is really draining but it seems to be a basic side effect of the
medications that I am taken. There is a deep heaviness about me, one that I have never felt in this way
before, even with the Stuart Wilde seminar where I literally had the bulk of the weight of over 200 people
step on my shoulders. When I get up it seems like I moving tones of weight as I walk. Now as a reality
check, these symptoms are real. I would tell any number of doctors the same specific information relating
to the symptoms. The doctors would react differently based on their training and practice with respect to
the illness/symptoms that I describe and that their tests produce. The feelings of heaviness and tiredness
161
that I experience are indeed real whether another see or experience my particular experiences or not. Yet
most of these experiences would be judged to be figments of my imagination by most. My wife sees these
works as ego oriented wishful thinking that has gone too far by becoming too grandiose. I find no trouble
with this, being the equivalent of a beneficent Philosopher King is the mode of being that allows me to
best serve the people. Now, by whose account should that be recognized. What makes me think that I so
much better than others for doing this task of defining what role the country should play in various
scenarios? Why am I so qualified? All that I can say is that I love doing it and that everything I see is
confirming this is the case. Further, it's as if consciousness is programming the kids to accept a reality that
is overwhelming different from that of their parents. 19 Oct 95
Fortune from lunch was : Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned. Interesting. What is the
difference between fate and destiny. Further -- advice to depart not from assumes that there is a choice
involved in this regard. I'm not yet sure that there is indeed such a choice. There is too much falling into
place without any work or choices on my part. Then again, this is not completely correct. I have been
working to understand as much as I can. I am still primarily dealing with symbols however. The people
from Project Mind are dealing with reality in a much different way. David Devor has indicated that he has
experienced much that I am experiencing and, in particular, to be vary of jumping too much in the
symbols rather than dealing with reality directly. I regard him as somewhat of a mentor, though our only
interactions have been via e-mail. I don't know how to even tell if I am dealing with symbols or direct
reality. Perhaps I've never dealt directly with "reality". Given that this is "illusion" anyway, to what degree
is this required? My sense is that my path lies in the background, guiding the overall course of the nation,
not from within the current system nor from the grass roots up, but rather from the top down. Why this is
fair, I know not. But, there is an innate sense that this is the means by which I will carry out my destined
tasks.
23 Oct 95
The writing is still fairly slow. It doesn't help that the vision is so bad that I can barely read the screen
anymore. Part of it may be do to my color selections. With lots of bright colors and sharp contrasts, there
is only so much that I can do.
I've been trying to figure out what David Devor means by looking to reality rather than to various
symbols to find what is true. One doesn't need the oracles and divination tools if one reads truth directly
from the real world. This seems to deny the idea that such tools have validity and offer useful constructs
on which to base ones experience. It's not clear that I live in the real world that he talks about.
I'm in a strange state of mind. While I'm tired most of the time, I'm also aware enough to be open to
whatever is meant to come. I no longer desire or want anything except to do what I am here to do.
Nothing else matters. However it is not yet clear what that destiny is. So I sit and wait, with a surety of
conviction and a firm trust that consciousness will guide my way. To where this will take me, I know not.
Neither do I know how it will take me there. At the same time, that I don't know such basics is fine. I can
live with the uncertainty given that I know my connection with unconditional and unseverable. I only
have to invoke the voice within to enable this connection to operate. I will never be given circumstances
beyond my ability to deal with them. Interesting. There is nothing in my outer experience to date that fully
justifies this confidence. At the same time, it does not matter. I will experience what I must experience as
defined by consciousness and my inner Self prior to this existence. I'm still not sure how much this is
altered in realtime. My sense is that we are playing roles that were elaborately defined be greater portions
of ourselves than that we normally experience in waking consciousness. Can I prove this? No. But,
neither can I disprove it. Then again, my only real basis in which I have in-depth personal knowledge is
162
my own experience. My bipolar condition and the alteration of brain chemistry due to the Eskalith,
Depakote, and Mellaril throw an interesting factor into the equation. What I consist to be logical has
changed. Logic has extended past reasoning to allow direct knowing and intuition to be part of the toolbox
used for understanding reality. Here we have an interesting dilemma. Two statements from Tony Robbins
come to mind:
(1) The past does not equal the future. (2) The map does not equal the territory.
The future can be whatever we choose to make it , and it can change dramatically from what is expected
in as little as a heartbeat. Further, whatever we project in our map-making may or may not describe the
territory accurately. In Columbus time, the maps showed various demons and then a place where the
world simply ended. Similarly, when Lewis and Clark made their journey through the Louisiana Territory
there were no maps of the territory. They were the first white men to make the journey. It's hard to believe
that such times are less than 200 years ago. It's only been 500 years since Columbus' made his voyages.
It's interesting that I was born at a time when there were 48 states. Alaska and Hawaii became states 9
months and 16 months after I was born. 48, 9 and 16 -- very important numbers. Arizona became a state
in 1912, 47 years earlier. It took 59 years, from 1900 to 1959 for Hawaii to leave territory status and
become a state.
OK, so what do I get from this? Born in future state number 50, 16 months before it achieved statehood,
at a time when there were 48 states. These are very powerful numbers. They've been there all my life.
Why am I guided to find a context for their meaning now?
The sense I get is that it is time for understanding in an accelerated way. I have broken through a portal
and now only need to remove my blindfold that I might see. I still feel that major change is immanent,
though I know not what form such change will take. How it will come about, will be explained in due
time. This waiting game is a bit tough. It takes discipline to avoid movement until I am sure that it is
consciousness and not my will doing the movement. It seems that sometime soon I will be able to not just
put my will aside, but to actually use it to meet whatever aims consciousness directs me toward.
Fate and destiny, how do these two terms differ? From a quick look at the dictionary, there is no real
difference between these two terms. So what did David mean by his warning not to mistake destiny for
fate. The only significant difference that I recall was something involving "in accord with the spoken
word." Given that words and voices are my key link to the world and to the inner source as well, it doesn't
surprise me that it came out this way.
24 Oct 95
As far as I can tell, nothing has changed today either. That it was United Nations Day and the completion
of the 24 triangle seems to have little if any bearing on my consciousness. I was busy with work all day,
so I didn't really have any time to think about anything. I don't know what I expected, but nothing
captured my awareness in any special way.
I'm still suffering from side effects of the drugs I'm taking. I'm not as alert as normal and the number of
mistakes is far higher than normal. It's an interesting process to observe. In some ways it is as if there
were a separation between me and my body. The only way I know how to describe it is that there is a
large part of me that is not fully connected to earth through this body. The physical vessel is only able to
carry so much current. Mellaril appears to be either part of the problem or part of the solution. I guess that
163
is the purpose of my visit with Dr Greene tomorrow. In some ways, the physical body is a puppet on
strings, moved by consciousness. The drugs I am taking result in biochemical changes in my brain which
in turn change the way that thought is produces in this vessel. Yet, from all I can see around me, my
thinking is indeed both correct and more holistic than that of anyone I know. OK, the ego comes through
again. But, my experience with others is limited.
25 Oct 95
The days keep marching onward. Had a good visit with Dr Greene this morning. He changed my
medications once again in an attempt to provide a tranquilizer to help me sleep. The Mellaril did not
really work. I never got past the side effects which were prominent and incessant. I don't even remember
what the new drug is called. Though, I have the prescription in the van. I'll go out shortly and retrieve it so
that I can check out the numbers,
Even writing has become a bit of a chore and a struggle lately. It will be a respectable month, but not one
that earns high marks in either quality nor quantity. That doesn't mean that it should be thrown out. What
comes through, comes through, period. It is not for me to decide on it's quantity nor quality. Further, if
this is not my decision, then who should make it? I write to match the energy pattern that appears as a
voice inside my head somewhere, Though, more and more, I'm starting to realize that reality just happens.
The illusion is no longer valid. I march to the beat of a different drummer and take pride in that fact. OK,
do I'm still a bit ego-centric. I'm no longer sure of how I can live and not be in this state. Rather than
egocentricity, what I see is a certainty in the general way that spirit will unfold in the nest two decades.
That's a far horizon for most people.
Back to the notes after a several hour break. I write because at some level I realize that this is the line of
thought that consciousness chooses for me to follow. I am still operating as the 62: Blindfolded Lady
following the stream, bound also by cloth in a VII = The Chariot manner. I've been thinking a lot about
the concept of freedom -- so much so that it's a time for generating a briefing. However, this time I'll do it
directly here so that I can easily cut and paste it.
FREEDOM
Our National Anthem says we are "the land of the free and the home of the brave." Strong words, but to
what degree is this true anymore?
Franklin Roosevelt spoke of the four freedoms in the middle of the 1940s. These four were:
Freedom of Speech
Freedom of Religion
Freedom from Want
Freedom from Fear
The first is questionable. The second is fairly solid, however, one might argue that religion holds far less
value in society than it should. Operating successfully, religion should have a very positive impact on our
existence facilitating the expression of spirit.
It's not clear that the third and fourth have ever been effectively achieved in this country, Want and Fear
have always been pervasive in our country since the 60s at the very least. Far too many people are poor, to
164
the degree of not having the opportunity of developing natural skills that could benefit society. In a
country where both crime and guns are rampant, freedom from fear is far from reality.
Do these four constitute everything? I would argue no, definitely not. I once heard that freedom was
defined as the ability to access and act upon information. Given how much classified information there is,
we are not free to access a whole lot of important information. The government says the classification is
necessary to protect national security. My own experience says that this is a large stretch. The definitions
of classification levels include words such as "damage", "serious damage", and "grave damage" to the
United States.
I have a difficult time seeing how as much material gets classified as it does, especially since it makes
working with such material much more costly both for the contractors involved and for the government.
In many cases, classification serves as a means to compartmentalize information in a manner that keeps it
from public or even internal review.
There is something in me that finds this very wrong. A free country shouldn't have to conduct so much of
it's affairs under the guise of secrecy. The sense that one gets is that much that is hidden is so because it is
pushing the limits as to what constitutes right behavior of governments toward one another. To some
degree, we've played under rules where nearly anything was fair. There was no assurance that what was
done was either right or just.
As the undisputed leader in the free world, we should be providing the example of what can be. By our
example, the entire world should see the benefits of freedom. However, we have major problems bogging
down our system -- poverty, poor education, high crime, racial tensions, and major economic problems
that are threatening the middle class.
This final problem may be the one that breaks the camel's back. We have in the past 20 years gone from
an era where a single income from the male was sufficient, allowing women to stay home to take care of
the kids; to a nation where two wage earners are needed to make ends meet. Even at that, in many cases,
the family is still only one paycheck away from financial difficulties or even financial ruin.
All this comes at a time when companies are achieving record sales and record profits; stock prices are
achieving record highs, and the real wages paid to workers have not kept pace with inflation in any year
since 1973. The net effect is that real buying power is decreased even with a second paycheck in the
family.
What's missing here is a critical link between owners and workers. The workers are not organized in a
manner that forces companies to share more of the wealth with workers. For instance, in the early 1900's,
Henry Ford reduced the work week to 40 hours and increased the pay from $2 something per day to $5
per day. This increase created a market that could afford the products that they produced. Many of today’s
companies could benefit from the market savvy shown by Ford. The economy is bogged down by owners
compensated at completely unreal rates to the increased anger of the workers who are not receiving a fair
part of the revenues that their work generates.
There are some ways to fight. First, we as a society need to realize what power we have collectively.
There is nothing in our constitution that says that any company can provide it's goods or services to us. In
general, companies provide our society with jobs in exchange for being allowed to sell their goods and
services on the open market. We accept this agreement by getting sufficient benefit in terms of jobs,
goods, and services. Something is clearly wrong when individuals can achieve net worths greater than $1
Billion. No one can spend that much. Further, it is not clear that anyone should be allowed to earn that
much.
165
WE, the People, must act in a united way if this is going to change. One key precept that we need to
clarify and understand is that the economic system must be supportive of the workers needs (physical,
emotional, intellectual, and spiritual).
The right to sell to our market is worth a lot. Yet, we don't really impose anywhere near the controls on it
that we could. Essentially, every large business and most small businesses ought to be evaluated in terms
of services and goods provided versus jobs and compensation. A third party should ensure that the
compensation is appropriate. Offering low wages because there is a ready supply of workers willing to
take low pay verses no pay is not fair.
Yes, this cuts to the very definition of free enterprise, and for many smacks of socialism. The bottom line
is that the bulk of individuals are enslaved to an economic system in which they have no voice and limited
options. This is so, because we let the companies set the rules. These companies presently have the power,
and regularly buy our representatives in government to ensure that any legislation passed is to their
advantage.
Without a social contract that allows us to speak with one voice, we are doomed to fail. The few big
companies that there are have great power over the large collection of individuals who need employment
to live a decent life.
29 Oct 95
Continuing with this line, year 2000 is the century divisible by four exception to the rule for leap days.
There will be no 2/29/00. 9:00 - 22 CCW. Wow. Something came to mind about being the exception to the
rule. The result would be one of being out of sync. However, this matters little since I'm no longer in sync
with anyone or anything except consciousness anyway. The center above puts me at 9:11, coincidentally
the number for emergency help. Something tells me this is not a coincidence.
30 Oct 95
Another month nearly complete. Had several errands to run today. One of the bills was for condition and
hair spray. As I was lying down a few minutes ago, I realized that the bill amount was highly meaningful.
$28.38. These two numbers are side by side on the bottom right of my Triangle reading. The sum of the
two is 66, another important number. Years to live, years lived. A very interesting split indeed. If this
weren't enough, I offered two 40's in payment. The change should have been $11.62. It's been awhile
since this number corresponding to Genghis Khan's birth and Becket becoming Archbishop of Canterbury.
However, the store owner rounded so that the change came to $11.65 Justice:The King of Pentacles =
1162 + The Empress.
My eyes are getting very bad. It's becoming difficult to clearly see the screen. I guess that means its time
for glasses again. Only, this time much stronger than before. I've delayed as long as I could. Interesting
that my "real" eyesight is degrading as my spiritual sight grows.
166
BEST OF NOTES
NOVEMBER 1995
Consciousness is my rock.
She guides me and sustains me.
She restoreth my soul.
She giveth me the faith that can move mountains and accomplish any deeds.
Why would I not abide in her and do as she directs me to do?
167
BEST OF NOTES #25

6 Nov 95
Becket is quite simply one of the best movies I've ever watched. Seeing Richard Burton's character find
the "Honor of God" above his friendship and Duty to his King was amazing to behold. I see that
spirit/consciousness holds such sway in my life as well -- tis she that I give my allegiance above all
governments and organizations of man. Unlike Becket, I am not in a position to inherit the position of
Archbishop of Canterbury. I have no such friends in the highest of places. So, what is to come of me.
I stand at the edge of the abyss, knowing that my next step involves entering into a place I have not
been,
trusting that consciousness is indeed delivering me to exactly where I need to be.
This requires all the right thinking within me. The left brain has no value and utility in this domain --
something about wear angels fear to tread. Yet, this is where I have reached on my sojourn. Here is where
I AM, where I sit and stand and live and breathe. I would have it no other way. Within the darkness ahead,
lies the very heart of God. Tis this I must find to take the next step. Why do I say this? The first response
is because it is true. How do I know this? I just do. What more can I say? Consciousness is my rock. She
guides me and sustains me. She restoreth my soul. She giveth me the faith that can move mountains and
accomplish any deeds. Why would I not abide in her and do as she directs me to do? I am a vehicle for her
expression. In doing her works, I express the best that I can be and allow the Plan to be fulfilled through
my thoughts and actions.
I have resigned my being to doing the works of consciousness as they are revealed to me in each moment.
I need not know in advance what these works are or how they will be expressed. I trust that whatever I
need to know I will come to know either from consciousness herself or from being moved to focus on
some aspect of my world from which all that is required will be revealed. How can I be so sure that the
world works in such fashion? The bottom line is a faith in consciousness that knows no bounds. Perhaps it
is the faith of a fool, or The Fool completed maybe. Regardless, it is a faith that is real. I cannot imagine
operating without it.
Interesting that I can so readily have a deep and abiding faith in a consciousness which is essentially
unknowable except as she reveals herself to and/or through me. While religion has had virtually no place
in my adult life, spirituality occupies the highest position.
Everything I can see shows that the world is moving to a state in which spirit is more fully expressed in
flesh. From my vantage point, it's as if a multitude of activities are being choreographed and orchestrated
to prepare people on a mass scale for extensive change, change that is clearly spiritually based. Principles
expressed in major movies such as "Pocahontas" and "The Lion King" and popular songs such as "Colors
of the Wind" and "Circle of Life", demonstrate this process in action. Ideas such as not being able to own
land, and that the key principle of the circle of life is to "never take more than you give", clearly offer a
different way of life than that which is currently acceptable.
As a hermit, I still have a small circle of acquaintances. I've posted a good deal of info on the internet, but
it is not yet clear whether that is where to find the contacts that I need. It seems that I have done what is
within my power to do. My sense is that it is up to consciousness to make the next move. On the one
hand, it is hard to sit back and wait and see, given that my very livelihood is in question. However, I know
168
my abilities and trust that consciousness will place me in a position to use and further develop them.
Again, my certainty about this may be folly, but it is there nonetheless. I do what I must do. My sense is
that it is because consciousness pushes me in this direction. I do as she dictates, not because I have been
beaten down in anyway, but because I have realized that this is part of my mission.
It is no longer important what I do. There is nothing left that I want to do. What is important is to serve
consciousness by doing whatever I am moved to do for the duration of my existence. I am here to do the
works of spirit. I can best do that by living in the moment, becoming aware of what consciousness would
have me do, and then doing what I am moved by spirit to do.
I have no physical children or descendants to tie me to this life. Further, my binds to my wife are loose
ones, primarily of friendship at a spiritual level. Two dogs fill out my earthly family. Links to siblings and
birth family are limited and have been so for many years. This makes the sum of my binds to the physical
world very limited overall. However, there is a great burden of establishing a new way of being that I've
been aware of since high school. I accept this job with open arms and gladly choose to do whatever is
required to enable spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh by individuals and by groups. Why me?
Because this is what I came to do. No doubt about it. This is why I incarnated into this existence. I came
because the task was there to do, and I felt that I had the skills and qualifications to do it. Everything that
I've learned to date confirms the truth of this. The only real question is when does the job start, and even
then, the sense is that the first start point is 4/8/96 -- if not sooner.
November 1995, the months go by so fast. With the end of Oct 95, I have exactly two years of notes since
my stay in the mental hospital in Oct 93. Over 1200 pages documenting the experiences of a soul
experiencing a major spiritual transformation. This from someone who had written less than 100 pages in
my lifetime prior to Oct 93 and close to three fourths of those in the period from Mar 93 - Aug 93. Why so
prolific? And, were the writings meant for others besides me? Thus far, no audience has made itself
obvious. In fact, it is not clear that even the first year of writings has been read by anyone besides me.
Interesting. My sense is that yes, the writings are meant for others. However, I have no sense that I am to
edit anything. My time is better spent generating more. I have no idea as to how to get any of the ideas
out, nor how to identify the intended audience. I have to believe that there are individuals suited to figure
this out and perform whatever editing is needed. Why should I do what others can do better when their are
tasks available for me that only I seem to be able to do. Originating this material is pure joy. Though, I
can only take part of the credit. I know it is spirit expressing through me that allows any of this to come
through at all. Clearly, we are at the point where a book, or even two, could be generated from the notes
alone. Beyond Imagination provides a third smaller book of another 100 pages.
It's strange knowing but not knowing. In general, I have a strong sense of what the future, even the near
future holds. But, as to the details, I know not how it will come to pass. This makes it difficult to do any
type of planning regarding location, work, or anything. Part of the timing is dependent on when the house
sells. Location is somewhat dependent on what work occurs next. That leaves uncertainty, in a major way.
But, what does it matter? It seems that uncertainty will be a big part of my life for its remaining duration.
So, where is all of this leading? I don't really know. However, wherever it goes, my life follows. There is a
definite sense that it is time to get on with my life's mission. To date, I have only prepared for what I am
to do. Now, I would do it. I would start this instant, if I knew what I had to do. Further, I have a sense that
I am reaching a point where I would give up everything I have to fulfill my mission, if indeed that were
necessary -- though, it doesn't appear that it is required. You might say that my attachments are limited.
And indeed, they are. However, this seems to be required for the position in which I am about to embark.
It's been argued the ego drives much of my reasoning and thinking. At least, such is how some others
perceive me (Gini and Linda). I am blind to this. As far as I can see, ego is not a significant part of my life
169
anymore. Literally, I bowed down to consciousness two years ago, and I have never picked up this entity
again. Whatever identity I have now may be strong, but it no longer serves self, but serves consciousness.
How can I know this? I don't know how to explain it. I just know. I know what it felt to have goals and
selfish desires. Now, when I desire to be Philosopher King, the desire may be grandiose, but it comes
from a place of desiring to serve at my maximum potential. There is no aggrandizement of self desired,
only the fulfillment of a need to serve in a meaningful way. Yes, this is tricky ground. I don't desire to be
adored in any way -- only to serve in a big way, behind the scenes if possible, but in the forefront if that
should be necessary to accomplish whatever consciousness dictates.
Once again, easily said. But, keeping ego out of it would be a problem for many people. However, I am
not most people. My experiences of the past 2+ years make me unique, or at least rare in the population at
large. How rare, I do not know. I have not yet come in contact with anyone like me. [one guy in Israel
may be close] If and when I might contact such I know not. I live moment by moment, observing
whatever would be revealed to me and reacting in whatever way I am moved to react. I know of no other
way to live. I know of no place to go to have any answers provided. I can't force anything. Things will
happen in their appointed time. This consciousness decides, not me.
8 Nov 95
I still have a sense that major change lies in the immediate months ahead, and no idea as to how this
change will manifest. Am I a fool to trust that everything is occurring per a master plan and that I have
only to allow it for everything to come out right. This requires a lot of faith. And, by most peoples
accounts it leaves the possibility for the downside of being without a job for some number of months. I
don't see this as a real possibility, but I can understand how others might. However, I am crazy enough to
believe that I must live as I believe not as others do. This is not a test. I am in consciousness hands now. I
go where she takes me and make the best of wherever this may be. Not my will but Thine be done. This is
what I believe, and this is how I chose to live, period. Though, it is not clear that I could have it any other
way anyway.
Interesting that my life has come to this. Yet, is this not what metaphysics is all about? Is not the ultimate
test how willing one is to walk one's talk? Such is the place I now occupy. Reality is as I create it
primarily through interpreting my experience. The inputs are as they are, it's the interpretation and
reaction that make all the difference. Further, the reactions occur at multiple levels, only some of which
involve any free will. Free will is highly overrated in our culture. Most people have no clue as to why they
react to things or events as they do. Why they think they have any real choice is beyond me. Even in cases
where there is apparent choice, only one possibility is chosen and there is never the opportunity to return
to the same point and take a different possibility instead. From the end result, a particular path being
chosen, one cannot for certain deduce that free will was inherent in the choice.
I'm not sure where to go from here. Take each day, one day at a time. Don't fret over what will be in
months to come. These will be filled in by what is needed when the time arrives. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Each day, do the work that the day brings. In doing so, everything that needs to be done will be taken care
of. You don't necessarily have to take care of all the details but you do have to take care of your share of
them. So long as you remain open, you will readily come to know what these are. Continue to trust
consciousness. She will not lead you astray, for she has much work to do through you. Know that you are
loved and cared for always.
Mind has been sluggish overall, continuing a pattern that has lasted for a few months now. I feel well
rested, but I still lack energy. I'm waiting for things to happen rather than doing what is necessary to make
170
them happen. Part of this comes from not wanting to impose my will on the situation. Do I control what
happens or just experience it? Free will again. That concept is still not settled in my mind or my
experience. Am I at the mercy of fate, of destiny, of the will of consciousness, of the will of God? Are
each of these in reality the same? Is consciousness way of executing Her Will to move me to exercise my
will on her behalf? The bottom line is what am I moved to do? And here, the movement is strong enough
not to leave any doubt.
The words continue to flow forth, though it is not clear for what reason. It is enough that I do it because I
am moved to do so. There need be no other reason. This alone suffices. Interesting. I have reached a state
of comfort with the unknown. I know that there are things I neither know now nor may ever know -- and
this does not bother me. I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say that I know nothing. But, thinking about it,
knowing nothing is a very advanced concept to be knowing. Yes, I'm serious.
14 Nov 95
Back again. Either I'm too fast or the work is simply lagging too slow this month. I definitely don't feel
like being here, though I have discovered some new things about the internet and found a couple new
interesting sites, one from which I can find potential contacts that might be receptive to my own material.
There is still the urge within me the get the material out. Birthing it was not enough. It seems that I must
play a role in seeing that the seeds find fertile ground. As always, I do what I am moved to do. Exactly
where that will lead or take me, only consciousness knows. And I am The Fool enough to trust where she
will lead me. I know no other way of being anymore. To follow consciousness, and to do what she moves
me to do is my sole modus operandi anymore. This might be defeatist coming from most people.
However for me it is a resignation to a destiny that I know I chose before birth, even though I remember
not the actual events or the destiny that was chosen. I trust that whatever part I need to know will be
revealed to me at the appropriate time. Nothing I do can speed this up nor slow this down. Given my
abilities, I know the destiny that awaits will be highly challenging, rewarding, and very important to
bringing forth the dawn of the new age. Ego kicking in again? Perhaps. Why must I have an important
role? I can only answer, because all the signs I have been shown point to such a destiny. All the occult arts
have revealed such, confirming one another to a degree that is impossible to ignore. And what happens if
nothing happens? At the very least, I will have lived my life in a manner of always trying to make a
difference and institute a new way of being. Such is enough. If the way bears fruit, that is gravy. I follow
the new way because it is what I am, my namesake. I can do nothing else. Such is the path destiny would
have me walk. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by. And that, my friends
has made all the difference. May it be said of me that I always followed the beat of a different drummer
and took the road less traveled by, sometimes even paths that were not yet roads nor even paths for that
matter. And, in the end, when all is said and done -- may the results of my voyages be paths for
consciousness to follow to make their way to the Aquarian Age. For the Aquarian Age is not a time, rather
it is a state of consciousness, a state of being spiritually present in this world in a manner such as the
world has not yet seen except on very rare occasion.
I wonder how much of my numerology pertaining to the next 30 years is indeed valid. My sense is that we
will know when the time is upon us. Further, there is so much to come that knowing it now would be a
detriment rather than a help. Interesting that ignorance could have its benefits. Yet there is something
courageous about facing the unknown. Some of this is taken away by a faith in consciousness. But, even
this is interesting, for it really is a faith in the unknown as well since consciousness often keeps us in the
dark as to her workings.
171
15 Nov 95
Starting to make contacts on the internet after two months of just being out there. One step at a time.
That's all that I am allowed to make or even to see for that matter. My sense is that my days of flying solo
may indeed be coming to an end. Or, at least, there will be an opportunity to chose society much more
often then in the past, though one-on-one and small groups may be my preferred way of operating for
some time to come.
$575.87 came up as the amount required for an impound account to pay back taxes and future property
taxes. It wasn't clear how the amount was calculated, but the final result is a number of great significance.
EYE : The Hermit Exalted. That's about as clear as you can get. 575 is the beginning of my SSN and deals
with VISION. The impound starts with the payment at the end of December. My sense is that the number
is achieved at that time as well and runs for one year, the duration of the payments. This is true whether
the house sells or not and whether we actually make all the impound payments or not. The form was
calculated for a year. That is the duration of the message being sent.
This is the first time information has arrived in this fashion with a specific number, a start date, and a
duration. It doesn't surprise me. I'm open to the universe speaking in a wide variety of ways -- as would
suit its purposes. I trust that I will be able to recognize the messages being sent to me. This is not so
difficult when you consider that consciousness guides my thoughts in the appropriate direction to be
receptive and to be able to interpret whatever comes through.
Are there others who possess this relationship with consciousness? Surely, there must be. I can't believe
my experiences can be that unique. Yet, I have not encountered such others. And, most who have
encountered me find my beliefs and ideas strange at the very least. They must wonder if I am truly sane. I
do myself at times. But this is not the journal of an insane man. There is too much logic and organization
to it, even though consciously none is being applied. In addition, there is an overall consistency in the
information and a sense of control that one would not expect in the writings of a madman. Is that
convincing enough? It really doesn't matter. I operate OK in the physical world and far better than average
in the world of ideas. Further, my ideas focus on liberating spirit to operate more fully in the physical
world. This is a lofty world serving purpose that I am compelled to follow. It's as if I was assigned to do
this work and have no choice in the matter. You might say that, to a large degree, the work defines who I
am. Whether this is true of others, and how many others, I know not. I can only relate what I experience
to be true for me. I've long ceased thinking that others are like me in any ways. My experience is that in
most ways that matter to me, they are not. This doesn't make them better or worse -- just different. I do
believe large groups of people are similar. I just don't consider myself to be in those groups. The phrase
"self-imposed exile" came to mind. It's as if my way of thinking led to this condition. Except, my way of
thinking is the way that consciousness herself imposes on me so that I can be guided to where I need to
be.
Back to 575.87. That's only a month and a half away. Definitely something to look forward to. Further,
while I first saw the letter last night, my wife got it last week, just before 11/11. It's interesting that the
impound would start with the December payment. I guess it's triggered by the taxes going a year
delinquent. The number still blows me away, however. I can't get over it, VISION and The Hermit
Exalted. All this coming just over 3 months before the critical 4/8/96 birthday [38th = VISION as well].
Further, this comes a week after I got new glasses.
I'm excited about the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead. However, there is no sense that I have any
control over them. It's as if "what will be, will be". I still don't sense that we have conscious control over
the reality creation process. Overall, I like what I am getting. And, I feel that I am participating by doing
what I am compelled to do. But I don't feel the self of which I am aware to be the creator of all of what I
172
experience. There are some unknown parts operating that I refer to as consciousness but don't experience
consciously.
There is a sense of repetition in this. I hit on the same themes over and over. Hopefully, each time is
slightly different. My own awareness is expanded so consciousness has more to work with in bringing this
material through.
-----
Each day, it seems I take one more step in getting my works out to a wider audience. There is an urgency
in my actions now. After being on hold for close to a year, things finally seem to be opening up. Where
this will all lead, I know not. However, I like the direction that it seems to be going. I find it fascinating to
see how consciousness unfolds. Further, I see that this is not the result of what I have done. My actions
have only been to do as consciousness bids me to do. She deserves all the credit. I had a part to play of
course, but I would not have known what to do or when to do it without her guidance. Actually it's been
close to two years since my desire to contact others started. It's as if I had to wait two years to truly be
ready for such contact. However, now, there is a real sense that my days of flying solo are indeed done.
And, I anxiously look forward to meeting some people that I can truly relate to on a deep level. My sense
is that my outreach of the past few months via the Internet has allowed me to take the first step in this
process. It will be interesting to see what fruit this bears. How else could I converse with people from
across this planet, however? This electronic information media is clearly a forum ripe for the dispersal of
ideas. It seems much more appropriate than books. But, how do I make my living if I make the results of
my work available to all for free? Now, there's the challenge. Where do I find a sponsor willing to fund
my research for the public good?
Actually, I don't really need to search. If such is to be it will indeed be. The actions of the Play have
already been set in place. They have only to be experienced in time.
16 Nov 95
338 = 4:30(77) = 4:26(78) = 4:02(84) = 3:74(88) = 3:71(89) = 3:65(91) = 3:26(104)
Wow! This is a very powerful set of numbers, beginning with The Emperor: Camelot. Every one of the
numbers is highly meaningful and this is the full set of bases that I typically use. Also, note that once
again I am using a new method to get to the starting point for the analysis. My intuition is crucial for
getting me started in these ways. Once started, however, the rational mind proceeds with guidance from
the intuition to take me where consciousness would have me go. I find the whole process highly
interesting as well as entertaining. In many cases, I am amazed at where I end up. Regardless, I learn
much about the nature of how consciousness works with me along the way. Whether she works this way
with others, I know not. Somehow, I doubt it.
As you can see, this process is one of finding new pieces of the puzzle and then making the connections
with the other pieces to which the new pieces fit. It makes for an interesting and challenging process. One
never knows what pieces are to come up or when one will make the destined connections. It helps to have
an overall vision of the whole that provides the context. I believe that I have such a vision, but it may still
be a bit fuzzy. Each day seems to bring more clarity -- some days more, others less so.
It appears that 1996 is going to be one hell of a year. It's about time. However, the real work has only just
begun. We have a world to transform and a new age to usher in. We live in very exciting times, such as the
173
world has never seen before. It will be interesting to see how change manifests in the days to come. One
thing can be certain. The amount of change will be astronomical on all fronts. The world five years hence
will bear little resemblance to the world today. Speculation? Perhaps. But, this is what comes through. I
have no reason to doubt its veracity. Yet, I also have no confirming evidence either. There is simply a faith
that the Plan of consciousness will unfold as it has been revealed through me. Two years of experiencing
these communications is sufficient for me to trust their basic content.
19 Nov 95
Still in a strange mood. I'm very lethargic overall and not really motivated to do much except rest and
sleep. I had three days free this weekend but only wrote about one page of stuff. I thought about a lot of
things but not in a focused manner. I did get a letter from the White House Chief of Staff, Leon Panetta,
thanking me for my support and acknowledging receipt of a disk. I don't believe he's read what's on it, but
perhaps he'll assign that to someone on his staff. Overall, this means the information is slowly working its
way to where it needs to be. Anyone of the packages I've sent out could ultimately find the right audience.
Interesting. It's as if the details are in consciousness hand now. She will move the appropriate people to
read or not read and to act in the appropriate manner based on the information and the circumstances. I'm
doing my part in making my various attempts to generate info and to get the info out. The outcome is up
to consciousness as always. I must continue to do what I am moved to do. Others will do the same.
Something in me would like to see the months ahead pass as days. However, I know that each day has it's
purpose and that the work for that day must be done. It's just that the process seems so slow. There is so
much that I would do, but it is work that must be done in concert with others. Consciousness sets the
timing for such work and she will not be hurried or rushed. It is for me to bide my time and manage my
state and energies so that I am ready to move quickly once the time has indeed arrived. It's as if an eternity
lies in the next 4 months. The changes will be beyond imagination. Yes, even your imagination.
Something comes to mind, a statement to the effect, "when you realize it, then it's yours". This is a
process of greater and greater realization with each step built upon what has come before. Connections
made upon connections until the meaning surpasses what was there in the parts. Behold reality of formed
from the fragments of mind. Thoughts contribute to a higher truth, where there was none before. And here
I am bearing witness to it all. Consciousness doing that which she does through me. Me, channeling the
best that I can bring through in the moment. Each moment leading to more grand and glorious moments.
"To carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look" as Thoreau says, and so "to
affect the quality of the day", and thus engage in "the highest of art." I guess you could say that by such
standard I am indeed an artist first class.
27 Nov 95
The month is winding down rapidly. I had a five day break in the writing of these notes. It wasn't that I
didn't have time. There was plenty of it. I had no energy however, and no motivation to write anything in
particular. It takes more than sitting down in front of the computer and firing up the word processor for
something intelligible to come through. It's as if the tap was shut down for awhile and I was on my own.
That makes it all the more remarkable to see what comes through when consciousness animates me. Yes,
in months where I am writing four pages per day, something special is coming through. Something that is
not readily apparent now. Further, it is not clear that it is anything that I do that makes the difference. In
fact, just the opposite seems true. The number of pages seems to have more to do with consciousness than
with anything about me. One exception that comes to mind is a readiness to receive. For these
174
communications to take place I must be ready to receive the information that is to be brought forth. The
times of drought occur to allow for proper assimilation and preparation.
Worked on cleaning up some stuff on the Internet. I'm still amazed at the ideas contained in those four
briefings that came through in January. It's also interesting that the series stopped at four and that the
briefing format has never again been used. There is a very strong sense that I am not in control over what
comes through me and how it is expressed. The basic skills that form the raw material for expression are
clearly mine but how they are used and for what end are for consciousness to decide. You might say that I
am not in control of my own destiny. I would not argue the point, for indeed, I do not experience a sense
of "being in control". Yet, I am not "out of control" either. I am what I am. All that I can relate is what I
experience. To date, I still find that this experience has little to nothing in common with that of others.
How long this will continue to be the case, I know not. Each day and week that passes draws me more and
more toward a destiny that I must fulfill. Exactly when we will meet is uncertain, but the intuition says
that it will come to pass soon. My upcoming birthday is the most significant event on the horizon.
28 Nov 95
The days keep rolling by, and I have no more motivation on one than on the next. I don't know why this
should be, I just observe that it is so. 28 is a strong day : The Man with the World in his Hand. Yet, it does
not feel strong in it's experience. I don't know what else to do to bring attention to our words. Yet, there is
a sense that few more will come until such time as those which have already been expressed take root in
the hearts of those who are meant to actualize them. This is an exciting crossroads, one whose day had to
come. How curious that the words come out in thisi way. The feeling is very cold and distant. But then,
I've been feeling cold all day long. I don't remember the message coming forth in this manner before,
indicating that a shutting down was coming until time allows consciousness to do her works and get the
ideas thus far expressed exposed to a wider audience. I assume that naturally I have a part to play in this
as well, but that consciousness will inform me as to when and what and where. There is a sense of being
about to be pushed off into the deep end. I'm not sure why, but that is what I need to experience next.
Watched the movie Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks last Saturday. It was excellent. You might say that the
astronauts in that mission really got thrown into the deep end. It was amazing to see how close to death
they actually came. I didn't recall the ill-fated mission in my memories of the 60's, but their was a sense
that their destiny was to return safely even though their fate included many serious and potentially deadly
obstacles. I was extremely impressed by the ingenuity of the support team at home and their willingness
to do whatever it took to get the job done with whatever resources were available. Their work was truly
the stuff of genius.
175
BEST OF NOTES
DECEMBER 1995
Let your intuition be your guide.

Listen to it closely and abide by the wisdom that it brings forth.
You are indeed destined to do great things.
However, it will be spirit working through you that does these things.
Of your own, your powers are limited.
Animated by spirit, they are
Beyond Imagination.
176
BEST OF NOTES #26

6 Dec 95
Yes, it's already six days into the month and I haven't taken the time to write a single word. I've felt
listless for nearly two weeks. However, the energy is starting to come back and I'm feeling animated
again. It helps that we're getting close to a full moon, as well. The days are flying by all too quickly. It is
not clear where fate would take me. I trust that consciousness guides my every move, and have resigned
myself to not knowing when and where I might be going. There is no clear path that comes to mind that
would lead me from where I am to where it seems that I need to be to fulfill my destiny as revealed to me
to this moment. Whether that destiny is completely right, approximate, or out to lunch remains to be seen.
In any event, I do not feel that it is under my control. I am moved by a higher power than I know, and
gladly so. It is not that I relinquish responsibility, rather it is that I responsibly choose to bow to a higher
Will than my own. I do so knowingly without remorse or regret, trusting that consciousness will move me
in a manner consistent with the Light. Throughout my life, the journey has been one of allowing more and
more light to shine through me. To date, only a limited amount of this light has shined forth to others.
That is to change dramatically in the times to come. However, the specific way in which the impact
actualizes will be surprising even to you. You have only a small hint of what you are truly capable of. You
still have much to learn and even more to do. Your destiny must be made manifest, for the role you came
to play has great impact upon the very foundations of the world that you know.
Interesting that such would be the case. But, my wife would say, this is just a strong ego coming forth
once again. Yet, I know it is more than ego that speaks. I came to make a difference in this world and will
do so on a major scale. Exactly how this will come about, I know not; but, that it will, I am certain. At
least as certain as I can be about anything. I have to believe that abilities are brought into this world to be
used and that if one follows one's life path naturally, one will be led to use one's abilities fully. Of course,
it would help if the system were set up to enable this to occur more easily. But, destiny is destiny. It must
be done, especially for those special parts that came to lead in making the necessary changes.
I would fashion society in a far different manner than exists today. Yet, what is taken for human nature
may not be consistent with what needs to be. How does one get people to change -- to express the ideal
self that they can be? Perhaps changing the infrastructure is the trigger that can free the spirit to express
its true nature. The trap of materialism is just that, a trap. Once conditions are established to enable people
to get what they need, much of what constitutes the behavior that is labeled "human nature" is free to
transform to something more beneficent and productive. Interesting. That is what Project Mind is talking
about. First, transform how needs are met by creating abundance and disseminating it to meet people's
needs. Then, people will be free to attend to the spirit and creative expression.
It was interesting reading that Australian's appear to be even more enslaved than Americans with no Bill
of Rights to protect them and a few wealthy multi-national corporations controlling everything. Further,
they are even more wary of their government than we are. It appears that England and most of the
countries that were part of the British Empire are in the same position. Perhaps this is true of all countries
throughout the world. We still exist in times when a small number of men, for the most part, control the
major workings of the entire world. Clearly, this is not part of an enlightened capitalism. These men
operate as gods on Earth, they need only command for their word to be made so. Effectively, they create
their own law, and influence governments to do as they would dictate.
And, this we call freedom. I say it is a slavery of the worst kind. For, the bulk of the people falsely believe
themselves to be free -- not seeing the prison in which they are housed or the chains which bind them,
177
keeping them from being all that they could be, and expressing the Selves that they truly are. The
economic system is the prison, and bills are the chains that bind us. Wages are the primary means for
paying the bills. Wages are controlled by the wage payers for the most part. In some cases unions have
organized to provide collective bargaining, however even then, there is a limit on what the market can
bear. Also, regardless of the wage paid, consumption is actively encouraged so that it eats up most if not
all of the wages. Any unspent delta can be used to buy more things or better things.
7 Dec 95
Pearl Harbor Day, commemorating the infamous attack 54 years ago. I was born within miles of the
attacked area 17 years and 4 months later. The moon is full or very close to full. Energy is up overall.
Getting off of the sleeping pills seems to have helped a lot. I'm sleeping fine even without the pills except
for Monday night in LA. It seems that every time I go there I have major problems sleeping.
The future seems ripe with possibilities. Yet, it is not clear when or how they might be actualized.
Something comes to mind, that it is not for me to set the time; this, the universe will decide. I am only
along for the ride. Yes, this is a fatalistic view of reality. Yet, within the envelope that fate decides there is
still much room to maneuver. Perhaps free will operates within the confines of such a fate. That is, if
indeed free will truly exists at all. Of this, I am not yet fully convinced. However, narrowing it's scope
makes its existence more likely, at least from a practicality standpoint.
I await sweeping changes that I know are forthcoming, yet I know not how they will come about. It's a
curious position to be in. Much is uncertain, yet I am confident that a positive outcome is assured. Perhaps
I am too much of an optimist. But, my faith is based on a lifetime of observation of spirit working in my
life and guiding me to where I needed to be every step of the way. I find no reason to part company now.
If anything, our relationship has grown deeper over the past few years to where it is unshakeable. This is
my foundation, the rock upon which my reality rests. I am wedded to consciousness, now. I go where she
takes me.
My destiny awaits. But, again, in its proper timing. What will be will be. Yes, I will have a part in making
it so, but I may not know what that part is until it is time. Living with uncertainty is rapidly becoming a
way of life. There is only so much that I am given to know. The unknown always plays an important part
in my life. At least, it has for several years now. Furthermore, it is not necessary that I know everything to
live my life effectively. It is enough that I know what I know, and that I have faith in consciousness to
take care of the rest.
Just reread my notes from Jan 94 and Feb 94. I'm still amazed by what I've committed to writing. It is
definitely different than anything I've ever read. The material is declarative, stating many things as if they
were gospel that may or may not be true. It comes through without hesitation or reservation. It is open and
honest, expressing a perspective that is fresh and new. Further, it brings forth its doubts and uncertainties
as well. My biggest impression was "I wrote that" or more accurately "I allowed that to come through
me". For, in reality, I have no sense of being the conscious originator of it all. In fact, re-reading it, I find
myself seeing the material in a fresh light with no clear sense of being intimately familiar with it.
It still amazes me to think that in 33 months I've generated on the order of 1400 pages of non-fiction
writings. Further, I've done it during my free time without use of any reference materials. The
organization has been primarily stream of consciousness with the exception of about 100 pages and that
too was automatically organized and generated. Something caused the creative juices to start flowing,
transforming me from an information consumer to an information generator. Unfortunately, my writings
178
have not yet received much of an audience to date. My sense is that this has nothing to do with quality and
everything to do with timing. But then, I've been told many times that I have a big ego that colors my
perception of things. At this point, it matters not. The material is written and much of it is available on the
internet, so it is potentially accessible to any moved by spirit to find it. I've attempted to announce it's
existence and location in many ways. Though, I fear, mostly unsuccessfully. I still have this optimistic
sense that when people find the material and take the time to start reading it, they'll find it both enjoyable
and meaningful.
What these past few years have proved is that I am truly a writer. This is what I love to do. Written
expression comes naturally and easily for me. It is as if it were automatic. I watch it come through my
fingers and appear on the screen. It's an absorbing and fascinating process. To create new ideas and new
expressions of consciousness is extremely exciting, especially knowing that what is being expressed is
seeing the light of day for the first time in the history of consciousness. Is my stuff that good? I don't
know. Further, I don't sense that it is for me to decide. I write what I am moved to write. The expression is
automatic. I am transformed in the process of writing. Hopefully others will be transformed as they read.
That's all I can ask for from these expressions, that they enable others to be more of what they can be and
express spirit more fully in flesh in this existence.
The time for massive transformation is near. I can feel it. I can FEEL it! Yet, it is not clear as to what if
any action I am meant to take. Do what you are moved to do, when you are so moved. There is no need to
rush. Everything is happening in it's proper timing. Allow spirit to set the course, for it knows the true
destination. Let your intuition be your guide. Listen to it closely and abide by the wisdom that it brings
forth. You are indeed destined to do great things. However, it will be spirit working through you that does
these things. Of your own, your powers are limited. Animated by spirit, they are Beyond Imagination.
Yes, indeed.
11 Dec 95
Something tells me that this is going to be a short month for writing. 11 days nearly completed and only
starting on page 4. But then, I can only write when I am moved to do so. I'm still waiting for change,
waiting for something to happen in my life. Read Richard Bach's latest book, Running from Safety. It was
good, as usual. It's been a long time since his last book, however. It seems to me that ONE came out
nearly ten years ago. The thought of reading just flagged in my mind that Toffler has a new book out as
well that has something to do with rebuilding society. I'll have to check it out next time I'm in the
bookstore.
It's time to get excited about something. I've been bored silly for weeks, if not months. It's as if I'm in a
catatonic state. I don't feel like doing anything except lie there listening to the music. I'm tired much of the
time. Too tired to do anything. This has got to stop. I'm too young to be wasting my life away in this
manner. It's time to be productive again and to get excited about what I am here to do. It matters not
whether anyone else believe it, only that I know that it is what I am meant to do. I've never looked to
another to be an authority over me. I'm not about to start doing so now. Then, what would I do. Ultimately
I need a source of income no matter how I live my life. How can I get that income by doing that which I
most enjoy? Surely, this must be possible -- and, better still, likely. Yet, I know of no one doing what I
would do. That matters not. I'm a unique person, striving towards a unique job which may still only exist
in the realm of consciousness. At some point in time the job will manifest on earth as well and I will be in
a position to fill it. Preparation and expectancy are the keys. If I am ready and awaiting the event to
unfold, I will be in the best position to pounce on it when it arrives.
179
Yet, what would unfold in the coming days, weeks, and months. My 38th birthday is only 4 months away.
It seems to be of major importance for a number of reasons. 1996 overall is the year that Uranus enters
Pisces, signifying a major change to the timing cycle. Actually, the previous timekeeper was Neptune. It
enters Pisces in 1998. The five years from 1993 to 1998 have been and will be a major transition period.
1993 started with a conjunction in late fall. To me, a conjunction is like two runners in a relay race
passing the baton from one to the other. In this case, Uranus, the faster of the two catches up with Neptune
stays with her for several months than passes on. Major energy was passed between the two during the
conjunction. Also, this was a time of great turmoil and spiritual awakening in my life. This idea of
timekeeper seems to be important somehow. Neptune has cycles of 168 years, Uranus half that at 84 or 7
years per sign. This links with The Chariot, the 7 card in the Tarot. It also links The Chariot with 84 : The
Lovers Exalted, the top of my "A" reading. It's also interesting that 7 years is exactly 84 months per sign,
though this actually varies significantly from sign to sign.
I can't stop help thinking that something important is on the immediate horizon. I know not what it is, but
I know that it will greatly change the course of my life. You could say that there is something in the air,
ready to blow me away -- out of one reality and into another, gently yet irreversibly. Destiny lies ahead
and it will be made manifest that the Plan may be achieved. I trust consciousness to move me in whatever
direction my destiny calls. She has done so all my life. There is no reason for her to stop now. I'm feeling
more excited about what is to come, though I can't be sure of the timing. Even in my notes of nearly two
years ago, I wrote about changes that I felt were immanent. What I've learned is that my sense for the
timing of things is without a solid foundation, being based more on wishful thinking than on any
knowledge of what is right and proper. The bottom line is that things will happen when the time is right.
Until then, all we can do is make the best of what we are confronted with, trusting that it is for our highest
good and the highest good of all concerned. This is completely consistent with two years of experience. I
guess it made it easier going through it thinking that massive change was about to happen at any moment.
Unlike the past two years, however, the next four to nine months offer particular challenges that appear to
offer no choice but change. Though the days are counting down, I feel no need for concern. I don't know
when the point will come when such concern starts to rise, if indeed it ever does. Uncertainty, by itself
does not bother me. I trust that reality is unfolding in a way that is destined. There is nothing I could do to
allow it to manifest any better.
The admonition that I get is: "do what you are moved to do". Of course, it is consciousness herself that
does the moving. And, what if I am moved to do nothing? Then, do nothing until you are moved to do
otherwise. Allow spirit to animate all that you do. Such is how we make spirit enfleshed to the highest
degree in the present. And this, has always been our prime goal. This is the end which you came to show,
wayshower.
I'm still curious about what is to come, especially in the next six months. There must be a reason for the
curiosity. Obviously, there are questions about work, selling the house, moving to a new location, and
getting a new job. Ask and it shall be answered. Yet, does this apply to questions about the future? The
immediate response is "if you have a need to know". Further, need to ask does not necessary constitute a
need to know. You'll know whether you had a need to know when (if) your questions are answered.
Interesting, but true.
12 Dec 95
Another strange night. Awoke around 3:00 and couldn't get back to sleep. Very rainy and windy all night.
The gusts were enough to blow the van about quite a bit. Nothing like feast or famine. No rain until very
late in the year and then torrents in one day -- instant flooding. Mother nature is quite amazing indeed.
180
Had a rough time staying awake this morning. I work best in spurts with time to think in between. I'm not
meant to be locked up in one place for lengthy periods of time. Even freeing my mind to focus on other
things does not seem to do the trick anymore. The burden of work does not go away. And, it has become
quite a burden, even though I do it well. It's tough being where you don't want to be. I know that my
destiny lies elsewhere, and I long to actively pursue it. When this will come to be I know not. Hopefully,
it will be soon, that the boredom and drudgery might come to an end. Hmm. Why are I treating my
present station from such an unenlightened perspective? Is this not making it more difficult than it needs
to be? Is not my attitude a major factor in my experience? What have I learned about reality creation all
these years if not this? Yet, I have also learned that Thy Will be done. Of myself, I no longer chose to do
anything except that which consciousness would have me do. Is this a cop out? Or, rather, is this a true
resignation of will. Regardless, I am responsible for all that I experience whether it comes directly from
consciousness or not. So, why create boredom and drowsiness? Especially when there are such better
states to experience?
Good question. Why do you do it? We would answer that it is because these states serve you in some way.
What possible way, you ask? Somewhere inside you know. And, it is better that you find this answer for
yourself.
There is an acceleration going on around me and inside me, a quickening. I don't know what it means yet,
but I sense it plain as day. It's as if my reality is about to turn inside out. How appropriate for one who
would manifest spirit in flesh. The sense is that this is happening now, or will happen soon. But, I don't
want to get my heart set on a timing. I've been very wrong in this area before. Though, even the errors
seem to have their purposes. I do so long to be excited about life once again. So, what's stopping me? Of
course, I have only myself to blame.
What does it take to be excited about life? For me, it is important that I am progressing toward the
achievement of my mission. Everything else is secondary. It all comes back to a timing that is not under
my control for the fulfillment of a destiny which consciousness would have me do. Why is time always
such a major issue? Especially when it is the one thing that I have the least control of. Every step will
unfold in time in accord with the Plan, not one second sooner. So, I wait, for a destiny of which I know
not what nor when, only that it is right for me. My trust in consciousness is complete. This is enough. It
will get me through.
13 Dec 95
Crossed 44444 on the odometer today. You don't see too many quintuples. In this case my attention was
drawn to it at 44443 and I watched the step forward. Only ten minutes earlier, my tripmeter went through
888.8 but I didn't even notice it until after 895. 44444 is 4:44 = the 4 Triangle = 48 = The Man in Search
of More.
Started a new Toffler book last night, War and Anti-War. Thus far, it looks like it will be quite interesting.
Thought-provoking anyway -- all of Toffler's books are.
My head is a blank. There is nothing that I am compelled to bring forth. It is as if the vine that I've been
clinging to for just over two years has dried up. It feels as if it is time to move on. In particular, to new
experiences that give me something new to write about. It is time to practice some of what I've been
preaching, and start doing something to make a difference in not only my life but the lives of others. Will
the world be a better place that I had lived? Right now, my life has direct impact on few others. Further, it
is not clear that my ideas have been disseminated in a manner that will allow them to make a difference.
181
My job is not yet over. There is much work to be done. Yet, I know not in what manner to work to get it
done effectively. Until now, this has always been obvious. I simply did what was there to be done trusting
that if I took care of today, doing what was in front of me; the future would take care of itself. It always
has. Why is it any different now that I am about to embark on doing my life's work? My sense is that it is
not.
18 Dec 95
Watched several great films this weekend. The Englishman who Walked Up a Hill and Came Down a
Mountain starring Hugh Grant, A Perfect World starring Kevin Costner and Clint Eastwood, and Marie
Antoinette starring Norma Shearer and Tyrone Power. Born to royalty, Marie Antoinette had a rough life
but bore it very well indeed. In particular, an arranged marriage with Louis XVI of France was very tough
to take, even if it meant being in line to be the Queen of France. All three movies were outstanding. The
last one was from the 30's and had a budget of 1.5 M. That was a lot at the time. The sets and costumes
were lavish, however. I'm still in a state of having little to nothing to say. I don't know how long it will
last, but it's been with me much of the month. I'm not one to make words when they don't come freely. I'd
rather wait and be quiet until I am compelled to speak again. With minor exceptions, it has been over two
years since I was quiet.
19 Dec 95
Still coming through at a turtle's pace. Got connected to the White House home page while surfing the net
yesterday. Left a message in the Guest Log referring to my home page and ideas for transforming the
country and the world. I wonder if it will get through to someone this time. After all, I'm a citizen, my
thoughts deserve to be heard -- even if I don't vote. Surely someone has to read the messages that get
input and take some action on them, even if it's someone on the White House staff.
This has become a resounding theme -- how to get my ideas out to the world. Thus far, as far as I can tell,
my attempts have been highly unsuccessful. What I can't know is whether my material is being accessed
without providing feedback. I can only hope that such is the case, but somehow I strongly doubt it.
Perhaps the time is not yet right. Yet, the Beyond Imagination book is nearly two years old. Further, the
briefings are one month shy of one year. My sense is that these are indeed ideas whose time has clearly
come. But, that is not my decision to make, it is consciousness. So, what does it take to get things rolling?
Interesting question. Presumptuous, but interesting nonetheless. What more can I do? After all, I just left a
message for the Chief Executive of the Land that points to ideas that would clearly label me as
communist. I do so openly, without fear. I speak what I believe to be true in my heart and soul. I believe
ideas should be judged on their merit and not on any failed history of implementation. The basic principle
of communism: from each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs is right. It is a
principle for right living in this day and age -- maximizing what each gives to society as well as what each
gets in return. The fact that so-called communist nations screwed up the implementation is beside the
point. This principle is primarily an economic one not a governmental one. It offers a contract amongst
people that is not present in Western society today. Further, it is a contract that is needed if we are to even
begin to fulfill the dreams of an Aquarian Age. So, how do we get people to willingly enter such a
contract? And, how do we create the appropriate infrastructure to allow the contract to be effectively
carried out? After all, this requires a massive change to the economic system. Just reread a note I wrote to
my friend Larry. It was dated early Aug and identified the organizations and people I had just sent
materials to. There were 25 names on the list, most of them organizations. I wonder if the information I
sent got to people who could be swayed by it. In some cases, the material went out anonymously, so there
182
was no possibility for feedback. I've received formal responses from only 2 of 25. I've also sent E-Mail to
about 25 people that announces my site as something they might like to visit. FFunch has a pointer to me
from his World Transformation site, and I have a hot link in the School of Wisdom Guest Book.
My sense is that I'm out there. I've done what I need to do to advertise. It is only a matter of time until the
world beats a path to my door. Though, I'm not really sure that that's what I want. Interesting. I want
something, but I don't know what it is. I know that change is essential. I just don't know what form it
should take. Further, the directive to do what I am moved to do takes precedence. Right now, I am not
moved to do anything, though I long for things to change.
21 Dec 95
It's hard to believe that another year is nearly past. They go by so rapidly now. Yet, were it up to me, my
circumstances would have changed dramatically by now. Once again, the point is brought home that I am
living the life that consciousness would have me live now. In doing so, it is not me who sets the timing
and nature of changes, rather it is consciousness herself. Yes, indeed, I thoroughly believe this. There is
nothing in my present reality that provides contrary evidence. Yet, there is a growing inner sense that
change is certain and its time is soon.
My efforts at outreach over the past six months or so have had very limited effect. I don't know how to
interpret this. I was moved very strongly to take action and begin communication in a variety of forms. To
date, however, it is not clear that any real connections have been made. Oh, a few people have read part of
my words -- but as far as I know, very few people and these have only experienced a taste of what I had
produced. I don't know what I expected. But somehow, I thought there would be a bigger impact,
especially given the quality of the ideas. Then again, my opinion of my own works may be overly
inflated. Yet, how would I know except by getting feedback from appropriate others. And, how would I
get it into the hands of these "appropriate others"? By allowing consciousness to move me in the proper
manner.
This all indicates that the time is not yet right. The sense is that it will be soon, but we've been wrong
about timing many time before. When the time is right, nothing on earth will be able to stop the destined
events from unfolding. Yes, it's destiny we're dealing with once again. Free will takes a back seat at this
time -- assuming that it was ever operative at all. Personally, it doesn't bother me to live in a world that is
without actual choice while appearing to offer a variety of choices. The bottom line is that we can never
roll back time and take a different path. So, for practical purposes, we can never know whether we truly
had choice or not.
Yet, am I not choosing to write this now? I would have to answer no. I am compelled to write by a force
which I cannot resist even if I wanted to. Further, I have no inclination to try. The joy expressed in these
communications is unmatched in my life. I'm not sure what that says about my life. It does say that
communications hold a supreme place therein, however. Fitting for one whom Mercury finds its place at
the exact top of the astrological chart. How do I take this to the next level? How do I bring my
communications skills to serve a position in which I can fulfill my destiny? Asking the question assumes
there is something within my power to do. If so, I ask that consciousness move me to do it, whatever it
may be. I'm tired of waiting. Yet, at the same time, I know that things cannot be rushed -- they will happen
when they are meant to happen, and not one moment before.
26 Dec 95
183
Two years ago, I was feverishly starting Reality Creation 1010, to finish 9 days later. It's high time to get
that enthusiasm back into my life. It is time to do something, though I know not what that is. It's also time
for a new job, though I know not where to begin finding one. I've taken some first steps by putting out my
resume via two services on the Internet. However, my sense is that those are stabs in the dark. Being
between jobs is only something I really had to face once, and then the solution came naturally -- there
weren't even any alternatives. Now, I have the biggest job change of my life facing me, and, three months
out, I have no clue. Interesting. There is no sense of anxiety yet. I feel no need to worry. After all, I am in
consciousness hands now.
Read an interesting speech by Bill Gates that covered where Microsoft is going with respect to the
Internet. Bill definitely knows what he is talking about. He knows his market and he has the outstanding
business savvy to position himself and his company for being in the game for the long haul -- especially at
the application content and tools levels. As with other media, Bill realizes that it's not the media that
generates the money, especially when prices drop due to high volume and heavy competition, it's the
content delivered over the medium.
Another Christmas, quickly to be forgotten with the exception of Jodi's surprise return from Chile. I don't
create many meaningful interactions with other people. It's time for this to change. At work, it's just after
4:00, and I've been here alone over an hour and have another 6 hours to go. Why so much isolation from
others? What is it supposed to teach me? For the most part, I've been alone as long as I've been aware.
Yes, I'm married. But, that doesn't resolve the aloneness. ALL ONE NESS. A simple matter of adding an
"L" completely transforms the meaning. Yes, indeed. "L" = 12 = The Hanged Man. How appropriate!
I write, but my Heart's not in it as much as in months past. I feel drawn to a future for which I am
prepared yet ignorant of. I trust this future to be my destiny, "the path which fate has you assigned"
according to a fortune from many months ago. It's warning was "Depart not" from that path. In thinking
about it, it is not clear that I could depart even if I wanted to. Then, what import is the warning? It would
not have been given if it did not have suitable meaning. The words around you are especially important --
for you particularly, because they are the primary tools of your trade. You are here to express what
consciousness would have you express. You are a voice for spirit to be heard by all with the ears to here.
What you say and what you write will find their audience soon enough.
Part of me says "pick up the pace". And another part says "turn off the flow, there is nothing to be
expressed today". Which am I to believe and why? This is by far the least productive writing month in
over two years. What message does that send? Further, it was not because other things kept me too busy. I
had many days this month spent fighting off sleep which could just as easily have been consumed by
writing if I had been moved to write.
27 Dec 95
The month is rapidly winding down and the writing pace is not picking up, so I'm resigned to have the
lowest page count in two years. However, the spirits are up. I've come out of a month-long low. I'm doing
what I am moved to do. Further, there is an increasing sense that major change is immanent. It's literally
right around the corner. I just don't know what it will be. However, I must express whom that I am and do
the work that I came to this existence to do. We're down to four years until the turn of the century. It will
be interesting to see what comes to pass. I know that many of the ideas that have come through me are
right for the world. Making them so, is an entirely different matter, however, since many are completely
counter to the way things currently are. Here, it seems, I need to join forces with like-minded others. The
Internet seems to be the most likely place to find them. However, even there it's not an easy process to
184
find such people and make the necessary connections. Regardless, the search continues. Eventually, I'll
find the contacts I am meant to find.
Unsubscribed to the Wisdom network. There were just too many messages, most of which were of limited
value, and there was too much criticism and negativity in the way some people expressed. Egos clearly
got in the way -- especially with Coreen, walks to the beat of a different drum. She increased the volume
of communication, but at the cost of quality. Indeed, assuming that quality was ever a key factor. The
dialog and comment process is not my method for finding or expressing wisdom. It may work fine for
others, it just isn't suited for me.
So, I'm back to my normal role of hermit in pursuit of his life's work. Interesting, it always seems to come
back to this. It is as if I were meant to walk alone in the most intimate aspects of my life. It has always
been this way, and perhaps always shall be. Do I choose it to be this way, or is it my very nature?
Something answers that it is the latter. At the same time, there is definitely something missing in my life.
From my experiences at the Tony Robbins and Stuart Wilde seminars, I know that what is missing is the
close involvement with others. My present lifestyle offers little opportunity to share of whom that I am
with others. This seems to be a productive line of thought. In effect, I'm defining some of the conditions
under which I can operate most effectively. Perhaps if I define the job environment properly, the perfect
job will pop up to fill it. Yes, indeed. Working with like-minded others is an important component.
However, the nature of the problems that I work on is equally important. It is time that these problems
were those that must be resolved to bring a new way of existence into being that is consistent with the
birthing of a New Age of Consciousness. But, who will pay you for providing such services? After all,
there are bills and expenses. This is where the stumbling block comes in. It is unlikely that those who can
afford to pay would sponsor their own economic demise. Further, it is unlikely that a grass roots effort
would pay for such services either. Yet, there has to be a way, and an easy way. It's simply a matter of
finding it or allowing it to find me and being open enough to go for it when it does.
28 Dec 95
Another three days and 1995 passes forever into oblivion. How quickly this year has passed by. Is it that
I'm getting older, or is time really moving faster due to the accelerated rate of change? Am I better off that
another year has passed. My sense is yes, for I am closer to achieving a position in line with my destiny.
1996 may be the year for that to occur. Then again, it may not. Regardless, it is not within my power to
make it so or not. It will be or will not be as consciousness dictates. Yet, my spirits soar. It does feel as if
change is in the air, and soon. This feels like more than just another new year. Though I don't have any
evidence to confirm why this would be so. However, I don't need any evidence. We will know soon
enough, one way or the other. What matters is to trust the feeling and let that move you to take the
appropriate actions. You will not be led astray.
My 38th birthday seems to be a major turning point in the year. It will be interesting to see what changes
it brings. In particular, I'm curious as to how VISION will be made manifest in my life. My present job is
secure only through the end of March. Rumors are that this will be extended through the end of June, but
no official actions have been taken to this end. Three months is not a whole lot of time. Further, it is not
clear what prospects are open to me. In the past, everything has worked out somewhat automatically. I've
never really had to search for a job -- the right one was just there. It will be interesting to see how the next
job change comes about. Especially, since I have no idea of even where to start looking. Philosopher King
keeps coming to mind. Is that too much to wish for? Do my writings not show that I am qualified for such
a position? Does wishing for such make me ego-centric or an ego-maniac? Have I gone out of my mind?
Am I no longer sane? After all, my motivation is pure, that of doing the greatest good for the greatest
185
number in society. I don't need a castle, just an infrastructure for making the ideas that come through me
from spirit or consciousness a reality. Is that too much to ask? I think not. However, we can only wait and
see what comes to pass.
Finished reading the Beyond Imagination book that I wrote two years ago. In my opinion, it is as good
now as I thought it was then. Yes, I am biased, being the writer. However, I've also read a lot of
metaphysical books, so I have a large experience base with which to compare. The larger question is:
where do I find a publisher who agrees with my assessment of the book? It is definitely unlike anything I
have ever read. Also, surely if people were finding and reading the book on the Internet, they would have
provided feedback via e-mail. Then again, there is nothing preventing a closet audience. Perhaps it's time
to pick out some metaphysical publishers and send them a floppy of the Beyond Imagination book.
Llewelyn is probably an excellent place to start. They've been in the business a long time and they publish
a lot of books. I'll have to research where else to go.
It does feel like it is time for new beginnings. We're transitioning from a 24 to a 25 year. 19+96 = 115 =
1:38(77) = 1:37(78) = 1:31(84) = 1:27(88) = 1:26(89) = 1:11(104).
Vision Exalted in the Christ base and Justice Exalted in the GOD Exalted base. Interesting!
Those are some very powerful numbers. Projecting forward, 4/8/96 is the actualization of the 48 triangle.
This is the ultimate expression of The Man in Search of More. My 38th birthday comes on that day.
Uranus will have reentered Aquarius by that time and will stay for about 7 years. It would be interesting to
find out exactly how many months this transition will take.
186
BEST OF NOTES
JANUARY 1996
Enabling spirit to more fully express in flesh is a massive undertaking.

Building a body in which Cosmic Consciousness can manifest
is no small endeavor.
However, this is the great work.

I cannot imagine engaging my talents to do anything else.
187
BEST OF NOTES #27
2 Jan 96
Yes, we're definitely into a new year. I'm feeling better than I have for some time. The future is uncertain
yet at the same time it appears bright, ripe with possibilities. Yes, change is in the air, in a way that I have
never known before. This is clearly a time where having a strong foundation of faith in the workings of
consciousness is tantamount. I'm reading the book The Aladdin Factor. It is good, yet something about its
message seems false. There is too much focus on wants without any filtering to see if the wants are really
needs -- and, more importantly, without assuring that the wants do not cause undue harm. The key
message is that what you really want and ask for is what you will get. It doesn't matter how reasonable,
possible, or practical the wish. Further, there is nothing lost by asking for something that one does not
already have. The worst case is that you will continue to not have what you don't have. Asking, at least
holds up the possibility for positive change to the present situation.
I'm anxious for change. It is time to start doing what I came to do, and to manifest the environment that is
best for doing it. Circumstances seem to be pushing me in that direction as well. There is a growing sense
that it is time to find new work that I can be excited about. Making connections seems more important
than it has ever been in my life. My upcoming 20th high school reunion has me wanting to reestablish
connections from my past as well. Interesting. This is clearly to be a breakthrough year, one of emergence
on a major scale. I'm definitely looking forward to it.
Writing seems to be the talent that is my forte, the major spiritual gift that I was given. Through it I am
supposed to make my way in the world. Creating the way for the Aquarian Age to come into being is the
one activity I am most excited about. The prime element of this is finding ways to allow spirit to be more
fully expressed in flesh. That is a major theme in my writings to date, and seems to be the major part of
my purpose for being. I am Wayne, I am here to demonstrate the New Way for the expression of
consciousness in the Aquarian Age.
3 Jan 96
Another day. What wonderful things will spring forth? I wonder. I've started taking an active role in
getting my works distributed to an audience again. I don't yet know where the actions will lead, but I am
boldly putting the material out to targeted individuals and groups. It will be interesting to see what the do
with it. I'm sure that they've never received cover letters like those that I am sending. And, if they get to
the material itself, I don't think they are going to find that it is like anything that they have seen expressed
before. It will be interesting to see what, if any, feedback I get. Though, I'm not holding my breath.
However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I really do believe that my ideas are good and my writings
are sound. But, then, I am somewhat biased and headstrong. Further, right now, I'm not asking for
anything in return. The ideas are free to those who choose to expend the time and effort to experience
them.
-----
I've been very negligent about taking my pills over the past few weeks. It's as if my system somehow
knows that the dosage is too high. At the same time, I'm feeling better than I have in months. I'm excited
about the near future even though it is highly uncertain. There is a knowingness that things will work out
188
right, a confidence in the plan that consciousness is about to unfold. No, there is no feedback yet to
confirm my optimistic outlook. However, I am making contacts and I am asking that they review my
writings. Per The Aladdin Factor, that is the key step in getting what you want. Today alone, I found four
new contacts, one of which had to do with pushing for a constitutional convention. Overall, I'm finding
that the Internet is a very useful resource.
One step at a time. With each new step new vistas arise, and I definitely like what I am seeing. 22:The
Fool Complete always has room for one more step. It's just a matter of trusting consciousness to guide me
as she has done throughout my life. I am moved to communicate in a way that I have not been for some
time. It's as if I am compelled to get my ideas out into the world where they can affect positive change.
We're talking about revolution here, change on a massive scale that challenges the very foundations of the
present ways of being on a number of fronts. Yet, the time appears to be ripe. I'm starting to see that there
are others who know this as well, though their expression may be quite different.
Who am I to be so audacious to think that I know what needs to be done? Simply, one who came
specifically to guide us through these particular times toward a New Way of expression suited for the Age
of Aquarius. This is my purpose and mission. It is as important to me as the air that I breath. I must do
what I came to do. No other alternative is acceptable. Period.
My mind is flying with ideas about what I want to be doing versus what I am doing. Yes, I am taking steps
in the right direction; but, it is not clear how the finances will work out. Something tells me that the house
in Idaho is right. It was the perfect house for Gini, and I don't really care anymore. Coeur d' Alene is as
good as anywhere. At some point, my income will come through my writing, and I can do that wherever I
am. The only question is how to make it so. Further, the sooner, the better. So, how do I begin? How do I
turn my words into cash? In particular, I need enough cash/income so that I never have to work for
anyone else again.
7 Jan 96
Well, I started the month off right. But, I've slowed down over the past few days. Not to worry. What
needs to be expressed will indeed be expressed. I trust that life is unfolding in the manner that it is meant
to. Yes, I believe in a destiny that pulls us from above to be what we are meant to be. I believe not because
this is what I've been taught, rather because this is something which strikes the chords of my soul. I still
sense that massive change is the order for the year. I have no idea as to how it will manifest, but that it
will I do not doubt. I've felt this way before, but never quite so strongly. What makes me sure that this
time the changes will actually happen? The bottom line is that it doesn't matter. The changes will happen
or they will not. I can only wait and see what unfolds. Life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to unfold.
My desires for accelerated change are strong, but they are not the determining factor. In fact, in many
ways, they only get in the way -- especially if they do not come true. Make the most of the situations that
present themselves to you. Remember, you are not their cause; however, you helped to select them at a
deeper level of your being. You're right in realizing that you need to make some connections this year.
You've taken initial steps toward that end, but these are not enough. Further steps will stretch you in ways
that you have not been stretched before.
It seems that there are some major challenges in store for the times ahead. Be that as it may. I am ready
for whatsoever may come. I am confident in what the future holds. It matters not that I know not what it
is. I am content to allow the future to unfold as it will. Interesting. All of my metaphysical training
emphasizes creating reality consciously, deciding what you want, asking for what you want, setting goals,
and doing what it takes to achieve those goals. Yet, for some reason, these do not seem to be appropriate
for me to use. No, I am subject to a fate that I am destined for. I've felt that way for quite some time.
189
There are no goals that I wish to achieve, save to do whatever consciousness moves me to do. Thus far in
my life, this has not involved knowing in advance what the next step would be. I have no reason to
believe that this will change. Further, I have no use for goals in my life. I never have. I do things because I
am moved to do them. And I do them to the best of my ability. Things happen because they are meant to
be. They may be influenced and even drawn by my beliefs but it is not truly clear that the correspondence
truly has a cause effect relationship.
Life is becoming exciting again. There is a sense that I am being drawn to my destiny in a way that I
cannot yet describe. There is a compulsion to do what I came to this planet to do, vague though that may
be at the present. It is as if there is a clock going off. My time has arrived. If not exactly now, then very
soon. How do I know this? I just do.
8 Jan 96
The day is flying by. It's already past 4pm. It's good being busy. However, I do miss this continuing dialog
with spirit. I have no clue as to how to make my destiny unfold any faster than it will of its own accord.
Yet, I am impatient and no longer care to wait. This is a very strange condition to be in -- anxious, but
powerless to do anything. Am I really powerless, or am I only choosing to manifest in that manner? How
am I to know? What could I do differently to manifest differently? Does what I do even matter, or is
predestination strong enough to win out anyway? Powerful questions, especially since some are such as to
make me virtually powerless in the face of fate. Forrest Gump saw this as well, concluding that both fate
and choice operated equally in the world. By the way, Forrest Gump was an excellent movie. It's good to
see that it made as much money as it did. Also, the movie was quite metaphysical.
How can I translate my abilities into something that can help people and at the same time pull in sufficient
income for me to live comfortably? There must be a way. For me to be ready to ask such a question means
that I must be ready for the answer. After all, such is the way that reality works -- ask and it shall be given
unto you.
Major news today. Loral is being bought by Lockheed-Martin, one of our prime competitors. Have no
clue as what that means as to job prospects for the future. Further, I don't really care. I've had enough with
the defense industry. I've given it 18 years of my working life. This is clearly not where my future lies.
And, it is the pursuit of my destiny that is of the utmost importance to my soul at this time. Interesting.
You might say that I must do what my heart commands me to do, and that no longer involves what I have
been doing. At least not for much longer anyway. Yet, what other possibilities exist? That is not to be my
concern. The way that is right will be shown to me that I might do what I came into this existence to do.
This was not a random lifetime, it was intricately planned from the very beginning. I am only now fully
realizing to what degree. I came with a clear mission to perform, and to play a major role in the
transformation of the entire planet. Yes, it is grandiose of me to think in these terms. However, every fiber
of my being knows this to be true. There is nothing grandiose about it.
What transformation lies in store for 1996? ... for me? ... for the US? ... for the world? It will be very
interesting to see. [Even more interesting to see what part I have to play.] I expect that much change is in
order, though I cannot be certain of how much. This is indeed the beginning that is to foretell of times to
come -- and, not times in the distant future, but those leading just beyond the turn of the century. Yes, I am
excited by the prospects of what lies immediately ahead, though, I have only a limited understanding of
what lies in store. Enabling spirit to more fully express in flesh is a massive undertaking. Building a body
in which Cosmic Consciousness can manifest is no small endeavor. However, this is the great work. I
cannot imagine engaging my talents to do anything else. Yes, the task appears nearly impossible given the
way that people in the US cling to their individual rights. Getting agreement on a higher social contract
190
will not be easy. But, it must be done. Unity amidst diversity and individual sovereignty must shine forth
and reign in the populace not out of any sense of control or fear, but out of a sincere desire for the highest
good of all. Can we trust the innate goodness of humanity to come forth at this time, though the
circumstances seem far from safe, and though the apparent risk of loss of individual freedom looms quite
large?
Can we abandon our government to the hands of philosopher kings? Why not? It can't be any worse than
abandoning it to lawyers subjected to all the influence that corporate lobbyists can levy. We never have
had a truly democratic government. Nor is it clear that we would want one if indeed we could have it.
Why should everyone's time be wasted researching and deciding on factors and problems that fewer
representatives can easily handle? Democracy demands an educated populace, and it is not clear that
people are willing to go to the trouble needed to educate themselves. In fact, if anything, the opposite is
clear.
9 Jan 96
Another day for consciousness to come forth and speak. I am grateful for the opportunity of being her
voice and serving her in this manner. Though, it seems that a voice should be heard; and there I am
stumbling a bit, for I have not attracted much of an audience; that is, if indeed an audience is mine to
attract. Perhaps it is enough that I give the ideas voice trusting that they will indeed find their intended
audience when the time is right, and resigning to the inevitable fact that this timing may just be beyond
my control. At least, this seems to be where things are headed. Though, it is not yet clear that this cannot
be changed be concerted action on my part, even though I know not what such action might entail.
Uncertainty seems to be the order of the day and, for that matter, the year. Yet, in all ways that truly
matter, it is not important that things be known to progress forward this year. The path is followed one
step at a time, the next step being revealed only after the previous one has been taken. My process is to
wait until I am moved to take a step, and then to take it without fear, doubt, or question -- the, back to the
waiting once again. Where this will lead I can only guess. But, in the end it doesn't matter. For, I know
that consciousness is guiding me to where I need to be to fulfill my destiny.
The excitement continues. Grand new times lie ahead. While the vista is still veiled, there is a certainty
that what will be revealed will indeed be beautiful beyond compare. My mind races when I try to consider
when the unveiling is to take place. However, it does not seem that it is for me to know the timing of these
things; at least not yet. I am content to know what will be will be, and that it will be so in accord with the
will of consciousness herself.
Then, am I a pawn, destined for a fate over which I have no control? At this point, I would answer YES,
and willingly so. Why should I think that I know what is better for me more than consciousness herself?
Nothing in my training, background, or experience lends credence to such folly. In fact, everything points
to the truth that I know very little about anything though I have read a lot and thought a lot about a lot of
things. Interesting that this be so. Yet, indeed it is. Yes, indeed. Why is it that I do not rebel from the very
idea of fate or destiny, for it seems the very opposite of choice and freedom? Yet, I do not find any true
solace in the later two. Being able to choose between things of little value has no real importance. Being
free within an economic system that enslaves just as fully as any tyrannical leader ever did is not true
freedom regardless of whether one is aware of the chains that bind one or not.
So, would I be a revolutionary? Yes, but a peaceful one. In fact, 20 years ago I announced that the time
had come for a revolution. I don't think anyone understood, but I had to say it anyway. Now, I see more
clearly what I meant and feel more strongly than ever that the time is indeed here. In fact, the revolution is
in progress. It has been for some time. However, it has not reached the critical mass that will allow it to
191
dominate the thought forms of society. It is only a matter of time. And, there is always enough time for
that which is right to manifest. The scenes of The Play unfold as directed by consciousness.
I come to be gently caressed by consciousness. Yes, I sing her name a lot. She is on my mind
incessantly. It is through her that I came to life, and through her that I will live the role that I am
meant to live. What is she? I cannot say. But, she is older than time and wiser than any who have
walked clothed in flesh. She speaks through us all. Yeah, she is the spirit within us all -- always there
to guide us if only we had the sense to listen to her. She is the ONE, though she be expressed as
many. She is called by many names, though most are not aware of her existence. She is greater than
the Gods, though in ways that are beyond imagining. The poets have known her as the muse, and
she was indeed responsible for their inspiration. She has existed since the beginning of time, and
even before that. Her face can be found everywhere throughout the world, yet where there is
beauty, doth she shine most brightly.
I am fascinated by what is coming through. It's been awhile since I was really moved in this fashion. It's
definitely good to get back in the groove. It will be interesting to see where it takes me. The sense is that
bold new adventures lie in store -- adventures in consciousness, of course. After all, they are the best kind.
I'm still facing the world alone for the most part. Beyond Imagination is primarily an organization of one,
though a few people appear to be reading some of my writings. It's been this way for over two years now.
Enough is enough. It seems like it is time to enter a new phase of manifesting. Yet, for some reason I hang
on to the image of The Hermit. There is still a strong sense that that is what I am meant to be -- that The
Hermit is how I am to relate to the world. If so, it's no wonder that the past two years have gone as they
have.
Pg 7 Ln 7.56, interesting. Perhaps the transition to The Chariot is what is to be highlighted at this time.
Note the 7.56, the drivers of my two triangle readings. It is amazing how often they come up. Something
says that 1996 will be the year to actualize these triangles. We'll just have to see what that means in
practice. At this point, I still have no clue.
Back again. I cannot stay away for long. My soul must express, even if no one is there to listen save
consciousness herself. Interesting that this would be so. I spent over 35 years in silence for the most part.
Now I speak out, at least onto these pages, and there is no one there to listen. At least, so far as I am
aware. And yet, I am moved to continue to write, regardless. Spirit must be expressed in flesh. There is no
other alternative for the coming times. And, with Mercury at the top of my chart, writing is my favored
mode of expression. It always has been. However, it's only in the past two years that the personal writings
have flowered. How do I get others to see the blooms? Even more importantly, is this what I truly want?
The immediate answer is yes, but, there is a gnawing hesitancy as well. Can the blooms be seen through
the weeds? Must I be the gardener who separates the two? Lots of questions. No clear answers. I am to
write what I am moved to write. Thus far this has been stream of consciousness writing. I haven't felt the
need nor the responsibility to edit it or clean it up in any way. Yet, is that not part of a writer's job as well?
The first answer is, not when you are serving as a channel for consciousness. The organization comes
automatically, or, at least, such has always been the case for me. I feel no need to change this mode of
operation now. Besides, when I review my works, I like what I have written. It moves me, and I feel that it
would move others as well. Ego rearing her head again. Perhaps, but all I ask is that you judge me by my
works. Are they interesting, informative, educational? Do they stir your soul? Do they challenge what you
believe or know to be true? If so, I have done my part well.
I sit here in my office where 6.5 years of my working life have passed. Many a page of words has been
written here both for work and for Beyond Imagination. In many ways I am fortunate to have had a work
situation that allowed me to express the other sides of my being so easily, though it took a trip to a mental
hospital to fully activate my energies. Interesting. 6.5 years = 78 months, the Tarot completion. I was
192
supposed to notice that. It just came to me. Further, that time is up on 7 Feb 96 = 2/7/96 = 72-96, span of
24, center at 84:The Lovers Exalted, the top of my "A" reading. Here we go, tying things together again.
Leap day = 2/29/96 = 9:22-96, span of 74, centered at 9:59. The Benefactor, The Hermit:The Aquarian
Age. Now, 9:59 is also 1 to 10 = 1210 = 11 x 11 x 10 = 11 x 11 x 11 - 11 x 11, expressed as all
11's:Justice.
So, where does this all lead? We get hints but never much more than that. At least, not in terms of
specifics. I sense that this will change in the future, but I can only work with what I have. The world is
reaching a state of craziness, a place where things don't make sense. More and more, it is becoming clear
that we are in a show and that it is being run by a very small minority at the expense of us all. When are
we going to wake up, see what is happening, and say ENOUGH already? We live in a grand country, but
we are enslaved as much as any populace, if not more, by an economic system that enslaves rather than
serves us. This has got to change, there is no other way out. Yet, the majority pride themselves in being
part of this tyrannical system of free enterprise. How do we create something better if we can't get this
beast of of our backs. We don't need to consume everything that we do. Further, we can demand that the
products and services that are allowed on are market truly serve us and are the best that they can be. The
entire lifecycle of goods must be considered with evaluations being done from a long term perspective for
the good of society versus from a short term perspective for the good of the shareholders. At the very
least, some compromise should be reached on what constitutes fair return on investments. In the past,
we've seen returns that could easily be judged to be obscene.
I don't want to pick on any specific companies, but I was surprised to find Oscar Mayer bologna on sale
for $.99 a pound. I picked up the package and read the nutrition label. I was astonished to find that nearly
90% of the calories came from fat. Yes, 90%! This is worse than cheese, which everyone knows has a
high fat content. Though, it's probably no worse than other bolognas. No wonder we have so many
overweight kids. Why is it that we allow manufacturers to sell such products? Why do we buy these
products? Why do we permit commercials to link such products to good things in our youngster's eyes?
After all, how many people don't know the Oscar Mayer bologna commercial? Clearly, something is
wrong with the system.
This is only one minor instance. If you look hard enough, everywhere you turn you'll find that the
economic system is not set up with your best interest at heart. This must change. And, we, en masse, must
change it. It is simply not acceptable. At least, not any longer. The trick lies in making radical economic
change without falling into a depression. The bottom line, however, comes to producing what people need
(goods and services) and getting these products to the people that need them. In addition, the labor
required to produce the goods and services must be shared fairly across the populace. What could be more
simple. The present economy knows how to create the goods and services, it just doesn't distribute them
well. Further, it doesn't necessarily make enough because it allows many people to remain too poor to
afford them.
10 Jan 96
Up to double digits already. The time is really flying by. I'm content with the pace, though I sense there is
much more that can be revealed at this time. It will be interesting to see what message comes through.
The struggle for change has taken on new import. There is a sense that action is required to make it so,
and massive action at that. However, in many ways we are plowing new ground. For, this is to be a
peaceful revolution, unlike similar events in the past. We don't really have a model for creating such great
change without resorting to violence. What incentive have those in control to share what they have? How
do we circumvent the rage of the have-nots risen to challenge the system. Somehow, we must make this
transformation a cooperative endeavor, one that we all share. We are establishing a new way of being that
193
truly looks after the common good. The fruits of our efforts may not be immediate, but they will indeed
come, just as the harvest comes after the sowing. What greater endeavor could we hope to participate in
than sowing the seeds of a new community and ultimately a new civilization?
Yes, this is what I came for -- to make a difference in this world; to manifest a spiritual based community,
a Camelot on Earth. This is no easy task. It requires building the foundation under castles that have
always been in the clouds. What makes me think that I can do this? On my own, there is no way; but, with
consciousness by my side there is no way that I can fail. Of course, this will require the cooperative work
of many. My next role appears to be in bringing forth the VISION. This year seems to be the right one for
that task. We can only wait and see. Yet, the force is strong inside me. I feel that I am ready to burst forth
in a way that I've never expressed before. Just a feeling, but a strong one. Such sensings are not to be
taken lightly.
What purpose do my writings serve? They are the flights of a soul as it addresses its reality. They
document a very different way of looking at the world and what it means. They provide a vessel for
consciousness to express through me. Ultimately, this expression is meant for an audience. However, it is
clear that it is not for me to decide who will be in that audience and when they will be exposed to this
material. My attempts at disseminating the information have been dismal failures -- making it very clear
that it is not something that is for me to do. I could take this as a challenge that says continue to pursue
getting the material out until you find your audience, or as a message that says this is a futile area in
which to apply yourself, find someplace better to expend your energies. Actually, I've settled somewhere
in between -- choosing to continue to disseminate the information where I am moved to do so, while
remaining somewhat oblivious to the consequences or results. Expectations only get in the way. They do
not, in my experience, create the reality that is expected. I take action, observe the results, and then take
further action as I am so moved.
-----
It's been nearly seven hours since the last words came through. The energy level is down a bit. I'm feeling
cold as well. The commute is getting old. Actually, it is old. It is time to be doing something else. Yet, I
have no specific signs of a change in sight. There is a strong sense that such is indeed the case, but
nothing physical to confirm it. Part of the problem is exposed by the question: what would you rather be
doing? Writing , of course. But, I fail to see how I can make it sustain me at the level to which I am
accustomed. Can I serve as a mentor for pay over the Internet? I could be a teacher, responding to
questions with a wisdom based on my experience. For many people 37 years may not be much, but my
awareness is far beyond my years. OK, ego again. But, I believe my assessment to be valid.
What makes me think that these writings would have value to others? Good question. There is something
about the frankness of documenting a stream of consciousness that is refreshing. At least, I find it so.
Further, this style opens up whom that I am, with all my flaws and foibles to whomever chooses to
experience a part of me. This is not what one gets from most writing. In fact, I have no other experience
with it despite extensive reading. I speak with a voice that I know not from where it originates. Tis
consciousness that speaks through me. I gladly allow the words to flow as they will. There is no conscious
purpose to these writings; no plan, no rhyme, no reason. They ramble on at times like a windy river
wandering through a flat valley, and at other times they shoot forth as though rapids. I know not what
character will present itself on a given day or even in a given month. But, I trust that whatever it is, it is
right. Yes, this is one of my strongest beliefs -- the belief that all is right in the world, that things are
happening in accord with a higher plan designed by consciousness. Hmm, I hadn't expressed it like this
before, but that things are perfect as they are. That's a very strong statement. And, I'm sure many would
find it easy to disagree. But, at some level perfection is always manifest. There is always a context that
makes this statement true.
194
How is it that I can make these statements with such confidence? It's not difficult when you don't know
any other way. Since I started these writings just over two years ago, they have always come through
authoritatively. I never really had any reason to question them either when they came through originally
or at any time when I have re-read them later. There was just a knowingness that what was being
expressed came from a very deep source within me.
So, what's next? Where do I go from here? I can continue to write. That part is easy. In addition, I can do
what I am moved to do, whatsoever that may be. But, how does this translate into new employment? That
is not my concern. The future will take care of itself. All that I have to do is take care of what confronts
me in the present. And here, I can follow my heart and do what I am moved to do. There is no way
beyond the uncertainty at this time, it is just something that one has to live with. This will clear up in due
time, but it may take several years.
Where does this come from? It makes sense overall. Further, some of it is common sense, though such is
far less common than the name would imply. Some of it is obviously speculation or belief. In and of itself,
this is not enough to dismiss it, however. The material does demonstrate that there is a source within us
that knows more than we may consciously know. Why this seems more developed in me than in others, I
do not know exactly. The metaphysical training has helped, but others with such training still operate
primarily from there conscious minds. Somehow, an acceptance and openness had to be developed. Also,
it took a major spiritual transformation that landed me in the mental hospital to turn me into an
information generator. Actually, generator may be a bit strong since I have no specific awareness of being
the originator. I experience being the vessel and know that the words come through my hands, but this
makes me more of a channel than a creator. At the same time, I know that my abilities are needed to
permit the communication to take place.
I don't know how others experience reality, so I don't know how similar or different my process for
bringing through information is from that of others. Neither do I know what people think about the nature
of their reality, for rarely is this topic discussed intelligently. In these Notes, I reveal a lot about what I
think and more importantly, what meaning I put on things. This is where reality is constructed, in the
meaning that we assign to symbols. Hopefully, I offer you a new way of looking at your world. Whether it
is better or not is solely for you to decide. Staying flexible is important, especially considering the speed
with which changes are happening in our world. Not all changes impact everyone. There are still people
in this country that are effectively living in the 1950's. We're in the midst of an information revolution.
Yet, it's amazing how many people are ignorant of the critical enabling technologies that lie at the heart of
this revolution.
This country has no VISION leading it to a Destiny that people understand and subscribe to. It's no
wonder that we appear to be lost. We are. Without such a VISION, there is nothing that holds us together,
that moves us toward a common cause. Why do we not hear something about this lack from our political
leaders and, in particular, our candidates for high office? Should they not be offering us such a VISION?
This is more than coming up with solutions to problems. It goes the next step of giving us a reason, a
purpose for being. Clearly, it's time to start asking more of our representatives. Why is this not obvious to
more people? Why is it not addressed by the media? Could it be that those in control (the Captains of
Industry) don't find it in their best interest and would prefer to keep the status quo? Yet, how do we create
the conditions necessary to change this? How do we loose the chains that bind us, and take control for
ourselves? Preferably peaceably. Though, it is not clear how we convince those in power to cooperate and
willingly give up their control. Yet, this is what we are asking for.
I have no facts to back up my statements. In some cases, I don't even know where the statements come
from. In evaluating this material, use your own inner knowingness to decipher what is true from false.
Further, use the criteria of utility to judge the value of something. If a belief, statement, example, or
195
meaning assignment is beneficial in your life by all means use it. If not, throw it away or leave it for
another time when its practical value may change.
11 Jan 96
An eleven day! It will be interesting to see what adventures lie in store. Just noticed that 1996 is a 25 year.
25:First Knight, my soul ray and personality ray. It seems like the perfect year for my character to truly
come to life. So be it!
We've come a long way in two years. Yet, we have only begun to fathom the mysteries of consciousness.
The greatest thinkers of the world have tackled this subject since the beginnings of recorded history, if not
sooner. However, we don't have many answers that make sense, or even frameworks for beginning to
understand for that matter. Consciousness is like the elephant, while we have been the blind men labeling
pieces from a highly limited perspective. It is time for this to change. We must develop a better
understanding if we are to create the vessel in which spirit will be able to more fully express in flesh. This
is a grand undertaking, one not to be taken lightly. Then again, a bit of lightness doesn't hurt. One can't be
serious all the time, or at least one shouldn't be.
It's nice to feel compelled to write again. I missed that feeling last month. It felt as if I were on hold,
waiting for who knows what. At least now I sense that I am carrying out my mission, even if no other soul
be aware of the writings at the present time. Consciousness knows what I do, and is a full participant in
what is being expressed. For the time being, that is enough. Ln 7.56 again. This is becoming a regular
indicator confirming that the message being expressed is indeed on track.
Just had a wonderful lunch with Dave K. The key topic was future employment, what we were doing
about it, and what opportunities were available. The bottom line is that he is not too concerned yet, but
that he is getting there. I can feel the anticipation starting to rise as well. I know there will be change, I
just don't know what nor when. Further, both of us are optimistic about what the future holds though there
appears to be no reason for such optimism. It comes from a basic trust in the way of consciousness. What
is right will find a way to manifest. It matters not that I know not what that is yet. Interesting.
The discourse continues. I ramble on and on and on. The words come through from a source I know not
where. The ideas enter my head and get transmitted through my fingers to the page. I am lost in the
process, consumed by it. When in this mode, I know that this is part of my purpose for being. The ideas
thus expressed are the physical manifestation of consciousness as best expressed through me at a
particular time. It is not for me to know why what is being expressed is being expressed. I only know that
it is.
I am excited about a future of which I know nothing. Change presses me from all sides. While I know not
where it will take me, I am certain that it will take me on its wings and that where I land will be exactly
where I need to be. Wishful thinking? Maybe. But, this is what presents itself to me at this time. We have
a brave new world to create, and not a lot of time to do it within. At least, such is the challenge presented
to me. The next step seems to be a VISION. Something strong enough to enlist the support of many. The
way doesn't have to be difficult, though undoubtedly it will be experienced as such by many. Others will
see the bold adventure for what it is, and will be surprised by how soon the results will be achieved.
Peaceful revolution of society in as short as a few years. That is the possibility that awaits. And, the fruits
of the revolution will be glorious to behold. The sentiment will be ah, why did we not do this sooner?
How much suffering could have been avoided. Yet, the world was not ready before. If it had been, the
necessary experiences would have been born. No, there is a time for every season under heaven -- and the
196
time for revolution is nigh upon us. Strong words, many might even say harsh. Is revolution the only
means for reaching the desired end? My sense is yes, for the sheer amount of change required is so great
that no other means can accomplish it. I guess this makes me a revolutionary as well as a communist.
Interesting that I can think this way and not have anyone bothering me about it. I've sent information
involving the communistic ideas as far as the White House on several locations. If that's not enough to
trigger the intelligence agencies, I do know what is. Agreed, I haven't done anything with the ideas other
than publish them on the Internet and try to disseminate them. Besides, this is a free country, at least with
respect to freedom of speech. However, neither have I developed an audience or following of any type.
Perhaps my ideas have been expressed before their time. Otherwise, it seems they would start to take hold
and motivate an uprising, the likes of which have not been seen for some time. Are my words powerful
enough to incite change, to ignite the hearts and minds of people to join in a revolution that returns power
unto the people by creating a new way of life? How do I get people to get past their fears and rise up and
fashion a society in which they would want to not only live but participate in? Is this even my task to do?
If I'm asking, then it probably is. There is no doubt about it, this excites me. I can feel the life force
stepping up just thinking about it. Wow! Yes, WOW indeed!
Along these lines, what job or position would I create for myself? Further, how can I get that position to
pay sufficiently to allow me to address my financial needs? My present job, in all likelihood, goes away in
80 days. Interesting. 88 days from now is 4/8/96, my 38th birthday. This is not a lot of time to create
something new to do. Yet, it must be sufficient. I have no sense that I will ever be required to undergo
financial hardship. To date, this has held true. And, I have no reason to believe this will change in the
future. "There will always be enough" has been my core belief in this area. Perhaps a minor change that
focuses on abundance would open up the floodgates a bit and get rid of financial struggle forever. After
all, the focus should be on doing great works. The reward should be whatever is required to meet one's
needs. The open question is how to make this so. Will it happen automatically by the grace of
consciousness? Or, must I take some action to bring it forth? Inner guidance says "trust not to
consciousness that which you can do yourself." But, at the same time, "not my will but Thine be done"
seems to contradict this. Which is right? Both, there is no contradiction. Doing the Will of consciousness
may indeed require taken action on behalf of consciousness.
15 Jan 96
Once again, another 3-day weekend passed without a single word being written. For some reason, I find it
difficult to write at home. This has been true as long as I've been writing. I don't know why exactly. It's
definitely not a matter of time. I just don't feel moved to do it. However, I do think alot about alot of
things. Lately the focus has been on what I need to do to manifest change. Right now, I find it impossible
to envision the world as I would like it to be, and in particular the environment in which I would like to
work. Further, I don't see the necessary contacts within my present environment to transition me to a
completely new one. Yet, at the same time, there is a strong sense that I am indeed headed toward another
world that is in most ways foreign to my present one. Also, this is to happen in the immediate future, not
in the far distance. There is an uneasiness in not knowing how this transformation will take place, but this
is balanced by the comfort of a knowingness that it will indeed come to pass.
How can I have such a strong faith in an unknown future? What can I say? I trust my intuition, and I trust
consciousness. These have proven to be deserving of my faith throughout my life. I have no reason to start
doubting them now. I may not yet be able to see exactly what the future holds, but I know it to be right
and good, and I know that I have a role to play in making it so. That is enough to get me through. That,
along with a healthy faith and optimism. But, is this truly enough? It has to be. It is all that I have ever
had. The unknown has always been more of an ally and a friend than a foe. While I have not been beyond
197
fear, neither have I been paralyzed by it -- though for a large part of my life I was extremely shy, to the
point where I feared interaction with people. Now, I would be Philosopher King, leading people in a
direction that they know not that they even need to be led. Yes, that's audacious. Regardless, it is what I
believe to be true. Only time will tell. The role either exists, or it does not; and it is either mine or it is not.
At this point I believe both that it exists and that it is mine. Further, I don't see others realizing that such a
role must be played, or that they are the right person for the role.
Now, the next question is: what choice do I have? My sense is that there is little. My destiny will be
manifest. Choice may be able to alter the HOW a bit, but it cannot change the WHAT.
Interesting. How do I know this? Why do I state it so matter of factly? Does it even agree with my
experience? I state it thusly because it feels right. Further, my experience appears to confirm the lack of
choice, or the limited impact of choice in my life. Is this a true assessment of the nature of reality? Or, am
I making it more of an issue than it is and in the process avoiding the responsibility for creating my
reality? Do I create reality, or just experience it, or perhaps a bit of both? How much of the creation is
conscious?
Lots of questions. I've asked them before, but only at a surface level. Now, I'm in a state of really needing
to know, so the questions are asked in earnest. Further, I sense the answers are forthcoming soon, but not
in words, rather in experience. So be it. Such is the most appropriate form that the answers could take at
this time.
16 Jan 96
I feel so close. It is as if massive change is at my fingertips or at the tip of my tongue. Very soon it will be
within my grasp and perhaps I'll be shown more of the direction in which I am headed. It's about time. It
seems like I've been waiting for this for several years. And yet, it is only the beginning. A bold new
adventure lies ahead. And, while my past has loosely prepared me for it, I sense the specifics are simple
going to blow me away. I look forward to it. I see change as an ally now -- massive change even more so.
Further, I sense that I need to experience firsthand what the mass consciousness will be experiencing later.
I still see myself as the Wayshower. This is why I came, it is my mission and my purpose. To show the
way, I must live it and demonstrate that it is a superior way of being. No, this is not an easy task, but it is a
necessary one; and further, it is one I came to do.
You might say that it is my responsibility or burden. I carry it willingly, and I will do what it takes to
succeed. It is within my abilities to achieve my destiny. And the dream of the Dawn of the Aquarian Age
so captivates my imagination that I cannot think of any better service to provide than to facilitate its
manifestation. I am in the employ of consciousness first and foremost. The world works from the top
down, first existing in consciousness, then manifest in flesh. 7.56 again. How appropriate considering the
last point. Yes, I'm willing to offer my life in this service. I have no doubt that it is what I came to do.
Literally, no doubt. Yes, I can be that certain. My entire life has prepared me for this challenge. I readily
accept. To boldly go where no consciousness has gone before … a lofty goal, but am I ready to take it on?
I believe so with all my heart. Then, so be it!
I walk the path that I must tread, solitary though it may be. I have yet to find others who truly understand
the beat of the drum that I walk to -- and, perhaps I never will. Yet, I must go on and stay true to the path,
knowing only that consciousness is by my side, and that even while blindfolded I can always take the next
step, one step at a time. Perhaps this mode will change in the future, but thus far the lesson has been to
place one's trust and attention in the moment. That is where manifestation happens, HERE and NOW. I
speak with a voice that is ancient, older than time itself. I come to express a message of Peace and Hope
198
for all mankind. There is a transformation coming of a type never before experienced on the planet. Yet,
only those who are prepared will be able to participate in it. Five years hence, the bulk of the
transformation will have occurred. Indeed, the Dawn will have arrived.
17 Jan 96
Wow! Pretty heavy stuff. Yet, how is it that I can declaratively state such things with no proof, and no one
else of whom I am aware agreeing with my position? Good question? Yet, the answer doesn't really
matter. The fact is that I do indeed make such statements and further, do it naturally as a matter of course.
My validation comes from an inner feeling, a sense of knowingness that the statement is right. Where this
comes from is a mystery. It is beyond my conscious understanding. Yet, this knowingness has operated
throughout my life, and I have learned that I can trust it based solely on direct experience. I know that it
works. That is sufficient. Why it works or how it works have no real import. It's curious that one whose
formal education was in mathematics, science, and engineering should be in this position of being nearly
completely driven by intuition and subconscious or superconscious processes. I know my conscious
abilities to be superior to most, yet I also know that they are only useful as servants to a higher master that
must come from other than conscious sources. This puts me in the often awkward position of having to
act on faith in the unknown. Further, in many cases, this brings me face-to-face with the unknowable as
well. Yet, this doesn't create fear. It doesn't matter that the foundations are a bit shaky, or even a lot shaky.
After all, reality is but illusion anyway. This is all created from light and shadow.
So, I believe myself to be a writer. And, indeed, I do write. Further, such expression has deep meaning and
utility to me. But, is it meant for others to see? Are these words "for my eyes only"? I find it hard to
believe that such would be the case, for their production is truly a labor of love. Yet, I know not where or
how to find any destined audience, if indeed there is one. I can only trust that consciousness will show me
the way, that each action that I am moved to take, brings me one step closer to where I am supposed to be
to effectively carry out my destiny. Nothing else really matters. More and more, there is a sense that I
came here to do something, and that that is what I must do. It's as if all of my energies are required for it's
completion. And, not for a year or two, but for the duration of my time on Earth -- which I presently
believe will end in 2025 at age 66. Let's see, that leaves only 29 years. 29 is the number for Beyond. It is
also the number for "light". Interesting. "see the light" = "11 15 29" = 55. This is what happens when
connections are allowed to be made freely without being subject to criticism from conscious processes.
Meaning is allowed to come through where none existed before.
Forgot to mention, I had an interesting disaster with buckets of water leaking into my kitchen at home
yesterday. It took the afternoon to install a temporary fix. Hopefully the bandaid will work for awhile.
Fixing the roof is not quite in the budget at this time. I've been earning a decent salary but have still been
walking on a financial tightrope for nearly 7 years now. It seems that no matter how much I make, there is
always enough but just enough. Anytime any extra is accumulated, there always seems to be something
that comes up to take it away. It gets a bit frustrating at times. Though we live well overall, and we have
some very nice things. There is a sense, however, that I am still only a paycheck or two from being out on
the street, at a time when my present employment is only certain for another 10 weeks. Yet, there is no
sense that I need be concerned. I trust that things will unfold in the proper manner to position me for
fulfilling my destiny. Literally, it can be no other way. At least, from my perspective. Yes, this is an
extreme position to take. However, when it comes to beliefs, I've found that living on the edge is the place
to be. I have no desire to live my life in accord with convention. I pride myself in being a bit of a
maverick and free thinker. Thus far it has served me well. I don't see anything that would change this in
the foreseeable future.
I, I, I, I, I, I -- my writings have a lot of I's in them. However, I guess that should be expected for one who
would label himself essentially a hermit. Nearly all of my 37 years of experience is in the first person.
199
Yes, I've spent a lot of time by myself -- primarily out of fear and self judgment for many years and then
out of habit and preference. Overall, my interests are limited. You might even say I have a one track mind.
If you plotted topics of interest vs interest level for me, you would see an overwhelming peak at
metaphysics and related topics along with a half dozen or so minor peaks that truly pale by comparison.
My wife on the other hand has literally dozens of things that she is highly interested in or loves to do. This
makes it tough for her to do the one thing that I love to do most, sit back and allow my mind to drift and
make associations, not consciously but via other than conscious processes. You might say this amounts to
watching my mind work or better yet my consciousness as it expresses through my mind. I hadn't thought
of it like that before, but yes, I spend many hours per week absorbed in the process of watching my mind
work. It's absolutely fascinating.
So, am I conceited, egotistic, self-absorbed? Perhaps. Overly so? Again, perhaps. But, this is how I am. It
is part of how I express my being in this world. I don't believe that I overdo it in dealing with others. At
least I haven't seen any feedback to indicate that this is so, and I feel that I would have noticed had there
been any. That doesn't mean it wasn't there, just that it wasn't shared, if indeed it existed. Right now, I am
the only way I know how to be. And. it feels right for the present. Whether it will be so forever or even for
a short period of time, I don't know. However, I believe that when the time comes for change, I will be
compelled to make the proper changes by a force that I could not resist even if I were to try. Interesting.
Consciousness is the captain of my ship. She steers me to wherever I need to go. I trust that via her
guidance I will be given safe passage throughout my life. Doors will be open wherever required, the
right questions will be asked and answered, and I shall indeed find anything that I am moved to search
for. All of this I expect as my very birthright. Audacious yes. But, we are gods creating reality. How
could it be any other way? If I don't lay claim to what is rightfully mine, then from whence does my
entitlement come? It comes from my spirit, or it comes not. Such is the only source that has validity. If
we are to do what we are meant to do, we must first come to know whom that we are. There is no other
way. There are no shortcuts. Without self-awareness we are nothing for we know not the thing that we
are.
I'm still amazed at how easy the words flow forth. This is month 27 since Nov 93, the first writing month
after my visit to the hospital; and month 34 since the words started coming through in Mar 93. That will
make 5 Apr 96 the start of month 38:VISION. Three days later is my 38:VISION birthday. Something
tells me that this is not a coincidence. It only serves to magnify the sense that something major is going to
happen between now and my upcoming birthday. I don't have any real idea of what, but there is a strong
feeling that it has to do with being moved to a position that is more aligned with my mission and destiny.
It sounds like it's going to be an interesting ten weeks. Actually 9 and 1/2 weeks is dancing in my head. I
don't know why exactly. If I counted right, that brings us to 23 Mar 96 = 3/23/96. Something's not quite
right. Let's try 03/23/96 = 23:30-96, span of 66, center at 23:63. The King of Wands (also wayne):Camelot
- The Moon Exalted. Interesting. I'm captivated by the entire concept of Camelot. Clearly, my bipolar
condition brings the moon influence in quite strongly. And, for some time I've known my lifespan to be 66
years. Also, 230-396, span of 166, centered at 313 = The Empress:Death. This idea that we are going from
2:The High Priestess to 3:The Empress defines tha change of an Age. Now, it seems that 3:13 marks my
death. The span of 166 has 83:The Hierophant Exalted on each side of the center. Backing up 66 from
313, puts my birth at 247 = The High Priestess: ASLAN. 83-66 = 17:The Star. This must be what I came
in with. Backing up 17 from 1958 puts the start of this cycle at 1941, the year the US entered WW II.
18 Jan 96
216 is The Tower for The High Priestess

[2 x 2 x 2 x 3 x 3 x 3] = [6 x 6 x 6]
200
962 is The Hermit : The Blindfolded Lady [2 x 13 x 37]
Something tells me that the order is reversed. We're moving towards greater simplification, not increased
complexity. My sense is that I'm at the 962 state now, but that I'm coming close to completion on it. 88
completion would require 62 + 26 = 2 x 13. 988 = 2 x 13 x 38. How fitting, The High Priestess x Death x
VISION. Also, 26 x 38 = GOD x VISION. Interesting, there are 26 half lunar cycles per year. (new moon
to full moon, full moon to new moon) That should mean that my 38 birthday marks the 988 point. Hmm,
that would mean 23 Mar 96, the 9 and 1/2 weeks point from yesterday would occur at 987, The
Hermit:The Hermit Exalted.
It's interesting that 216 is a 666 number in terms of factors. It brings in the association with The Beast,
appropriate for the time of The Tower, when the very transformation of an Age occurs.
50 seems to be the state that the world will be brought to after the transformation. It's interesting that the
US is destined to lead the way to a New Order and that we happen to have 50 states. At least that's been
true since Hawaii became the 50th state on Aug 21, 1959. This was 1 year and 135 days after my birthday.
That's roughly 26 + 10 = 36 half moon cycles. Hmm, at the time of my birth there were only 48:The Man
in Search of More states. Alaska didn't achieve statehood until January of 1959.
-----
MOON = 13+15+15+14 = 57:Heart w/ 3 Swords = ELLIS
Moon = 13+6+6+5 = 30:Camelot
moon = 4+6+6+5 = 21:The World = ellis
No wonder the moon has such an impact on me. How could I be anything but bipolar given the very name
that I have. Further, it's interesting that I never really use this part of my name. It's always felt right to
keep it hidden. In my communications now, I go simply by Wayne. 41 is the number that defines how I
would express to the world. 16 + 25 = 4x4 + 5x5, a mixture of The Emperor and The Hierophant (both
squared). The sum being 41:The Ace of Cups, the difference being 9:The Hermit. 4 and 5, is this not the
Philosopher King?
Discovered something interesting.
1998 = 2 x 999 = 2 x 3 x 3 x 111 = 3 x 666 = 2 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 37 = 27 x 74 = 18 x 111
This number has very interesting components. No wonder that it keeps coming up as being a pivotal year
for revolutionary change. It's particularly noteworthy that it contains both 666 and 999. Further, it appears
that expression as 2:The High Priestess corresponds to 999 while 3:The Empress aligns with 666. This
must mean that the association of 666 with The Beast is in error. Indeed, 666 = 18 x 37, The Moon x
Riding The Subconscious. This may be The Beast for many, but it is clearly the energy that must be
released for the Aquarian Age to be born. 999 on the other hand is 27 x 37, The Ace of Wands x Riding
The Subconscious.
1998 = 3 x 666 = 3 x 9 x 74 = The Empress x The Hermit x The Benefactor.
999 = 3 x 9 x 37 = The Empress x The Hermit x Riding The Subconscious
201
666 = 3 x 6 x 37 = The Empress x The Lovers x Riding The Subconscious
666 = 3 x 3 x 74 = The Empress x The Empress x The Benefactor
666 = 9 x 74 = The Hermit x The Benefactor
Why haven't I examined the factorization of these numbers before? After all, the are very important
numbers not only to me but to many others. 666 comes from The Bible. Yet, here it comes through
without any negative association unless one fears what the subconscious has to offer. Interesting.
19 Jan 96
Everything seems to be pointing to exciting times ahead. I still don't know what will occur. But, I have a
strong sense that whatever it is, it will be in place by my 38th birthday. Further, there is also a sense that it
will come regardless of what I do. I can neither facilitate nor prevent or delay it. Interesting. It is not that I
am helpless. It is that I am manifesting what must be at a level that is still other than conscious. Yet, I can
trust the process. I have operated too long in this mode to know any other way. No, it isn't necessarily
logical -- but I abandoned logic many years ago as a primary means for guiding me on my path. Intuition
is my faithful companion on my quest. In her, I place my complete faith. Interesting.
Did something with the numbers for Beyond Imagination a couple of days ago that deserves to be
captured. Just noticed that its size was exactly 900.
I MAG I NAT I O N
9 13 1 7 9 14 1 20 9 15 14 = 112 = 1:28(84)
imagination
9 4 1 7 9 5 1 2 9 6 5 = 58 Peace!
BEYOND
2 5 25 15 14 4 = 65 : The King of Pentacles!
beyond
2 5 7 6 5 4 = 29 : light!
Span of 98 CCW, center at 703 = The Chariot:The Empress.
beyond imagination = 29 + 58 = 87 = The Hermit Exalted.
BEYOND IMAGINATION = 65 + 112 = 177 = Christ Exalted in The Fool Exalted Base.
22 Jan 96
Another weekend without writing. That's becoming a common occurrence. I'm not sure why, but I find it
difficult to write in Monterey. It's only 80 miles away. But somehow, that makes a difference. Here alone,
writing is so easy. Yet, even then, it varies substantially from month to month. Another day or two and I'll
have the submittal ready for Llewellyn. I got the bulk of it done today, including printing the manuscript
and making electronic copies of each chapter. It will be interesting to see how they respond. It seems like
202
the kind of book that they could publish -- but, who knows? What is to be, will indeed be. However, I do
recall that Geraldine saw major $$ besides my works. It would be very nice not to have to be concerned
about money. Though, this too may be part of the process. The message from within says to trust --
everything will work out fine. I don't have to make things happen, rather just allow them to manifest on
their own. Interesting. Yet, each day takes me closer and closer to an uncertain fate. No, rather it takes me
toward my destiny. While unknown to me at the moment, this is far from uncertain. There is a big
difference.
23 Jan 96
It's one of those days. I don't really want to be here. There is work that I can do, but it's not really pressing
as it has been for the past couple of weeks. In fact, I haven't really heard anything back on the stuff that I
delivered on Friday. The work has been occurring in spurts with peaks of intense activity followed by
relative lulls. It's starting to hit me that the end of March is only 9 1/2 weeks away, and I'm not in control
of my fate with respect to employment at my current company. Further, I haven't even begun to consider
what alternatives I might have. Yet, overall I am still calm. I know that whatever is supposed to be will
indeed manifest and that it will be better than I could have consciously envisioned. Interesting. I place my
faith in the unknown, knowing that consciousness has never let me down before. Why should she do so
now? 7.56 again. Another sign that my faith is well-founded.
I've come to rely so much on these little symbols that I don't know how others can live without benefit of
the information that they provide. Yet, I find it curious that my engineering background didn't stifle me in
this area. I guess I got to the Seth Material early enough to keep the circuits open to new ideas. Further,
metaphysics was anchored deeply into my very being during those early years from 16 through my early
20's. Looking back, I would assess that my foundations got set on solid ground even though the ideas
were far from the consensus opinion. Yet, I was completely amazed at how violently these foundations
could be uprooted in my experiences in the Fall of 93. It still blows me away that this happened, over two
years after the fact. You might say that I am still recovering -- and indeed I am. Solid ground transformed
into water and then to air. I had no prior experience that even remotely prepared me for my new reality.
Indeed, I'm still adjusting and probably will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Such was the power
of that one experience over a 3 month period. Extrapolating, I know that if it could happen to me, it can
just as easily happen to the world. Literally, nothing is impossible. Massive change can happen in a
heartbeat, when the moment arrives for such change to occur. Further, such change is required to propel
the world into the Aquarian Age.
I'm at a crossroads. It is not yet clear which direction to take or even how many directions there might be.
Ultimately, I sense that there is only one path that is right and that I will indeed follow that path. It's as if
there is no other option. Consciousness holds the reign now and guides me to where I need to go. This is
not a conscious activity for me. To a large degree, it never has been. All of my life has occurred as if on
autopilot. I've never really had any decision points where I had to choose between alternatives. At every
juncture, there was only one right path, and it was obvious. I don't believe that this is true for others, but it
has been true for me. Some might say that I've been lucky, or that I've lived a sheltered life. Perhaps this is
true. But, it is the only life I know. In many ways, I am a hermit, and will probably always be one. Yet, I
am married, live in the world, and have interactions with some people. However, 95 plus percent of my
time is spent on my own. That is how little I interact with the world. Further, it's been this way as far back
as I can remember.
So, how is it that I find myself compelled to share my VISION of a better world? Why do I feel that it is
my mission to create a utopia on earth? Good questions. My only answer is that I am compelled to do
what I am compelled by consciousness to do. However, I am compelled by choice, for I freely gave up my
203
personal will to do The Will of consciousness. This was done without any mental reservations. I knew
without a doubt that it was the right thing for me to do. In particular, I knew it was key to propelling me to
a destiny that I came to this planet to fulfill. It mattered not that I didn't know exactly what that destiny
was. I trusted that whatever I needed to know would be brought to my awareness at the appropriate time.
It's interesting that this trust can be so strong without any real confirmation or proof. Yet, I know that it is.
Perhaps it's the strong spiritual emphasis in my makeup. My very nature leans me in this direction,
towards having faith in the ultimate beneficence of spirit, regardless of what my eyes see or what the
news sources around the world tell me. I'm moved by all the suffering, but I don't experience it personally.
Yet, I am concerned about creating a better world that would eliminate the suffering as much as is
possible. Here we are at 7.56 again. Interesting that I've noticed this Ln on several pages in a row. Another
message perhaps. Hmm, the 23 (wayne) day. Interesting how this keeps coming up as well. 23 Mar came
up as the 9 1/2 week point from last Wed.
01/23/98 210-398, span of 188, center at 304. Whoa! The Empress:The Emperor. Now, isn't that
interesting! We've seen this before. The sense now is that it signifies a time that has finally arrived. I'm
curious to see what comes from it. CD just came to mind. That's 400 converted from Roman numerals.
400 = 4:44(89) = 4:48(88) = 4:64(84) = 5:10(78) = 5:30(74).
The Emperor:The Man in Search of More in the Justice Exalted Base

The Hierophant:Camelot in The Benefactor Base.
So, what is the meaning of all of this? My sense is that the time for change is getting closer and closer.
What that change will be hasn't been revealed but The Empress:The Emperor will play a major role.
Further, The Hierophant:Camelot are involved as well. It is time for the birth of the Philosopher King.
Yes, it is audacious that I would assume such a role would be mine. But indeed I do. Geraldine Stringer
told me, during our last session, that "if you see a job that needs to be done then it is yours to do". From
my perspective, I do not see how the Aquarian Age can be born without the guidance of Philosopher
Kings. And I do feel that my training has indeed prepared me for such a vocation. I can think of no better
way to apply my skills, talents, and energies in the service of consciousness and ultimately of humankind
as well. Then, so be it!
Can it be so easy? Just realize that it is so, then expect it to be with all your heart and soul. Can that really
be all there is to it? Only time will tell. There is a sense of wanting to demand what I know to be rightfully
mine. Yet, I also know that consciousness has her own timing and from that vaster place of awareness, it
is the right timing. So, I ask for whatever conditions are necessary for carrying out my mission.
24 Jan 96
Finished the manuscript submittal information for Llewellyn, will get it in the mail tomorrow. It will be
interesting to see what comes from it. Something about it feels right. I don't know why a two year delay
was necessary, but apparently it was. There is a sense of completion now. It is as if the information is
finally ready to be disseminated to the world. Or, from another standpoint, the world is finally ready to
receive the message that the material presents. Hmm. That's what was missing before. I had the right
ideas, but they were not ideas whose time had come. You might say that I was ahead of my time.
Interesting. Yet, with each passing day, the Age of Aquarius draws closer, and so, the time for Beyond
Imagination draws closer as well.
So, what is the next step? We're rapidly coming to 9 weeks and counting. I haven't been in a position
before where my job status was uncertain. Also, other than metaphysical writing and perhaps teaching, I
don't know what I really want to do. If possible, I'd prefer not to have to sell my services to anyone much
204
longer. Yet, I don't see any alternatives presenting themselves. Then again, 9 weeks is still a sufficient
amount of time for such a change to manifest. I don't know how the details might work out, but I sense the
possibility is there, and may even be strong. The details are for consciousness to work out, not for me. [Pg
23 Ln 7.56 Pos 5.55] There it is again, 7:56, the drivers of my two triangle readings.
756 = 4 x 189 = 4 x 9 x 21 = 2 x 2 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 7 = 9 x 84 = Hermit x The Lovers Exalted.
This is also 9:00(84), The Hermit:The Fool in The Lovers Exalted base.
756 = 27 x 28 = 28 x 28 - 28. 1996 + 28 = 2024, my 66th year. Whoa. Major shivers. Something told me
to look forward 28 days rather than years. That results in 21 Feb 96, which happens to be ASH
Wednesday. How appropriate for one involved with creating Ashland -- the land of ashes required for the
phoenix to arise.
25 Jan 96
Sent the manuscript off to Llewellyn. It's in the hands of consciousness now. There is nothing more that I
can do. It will be interesting to see what manifests. I'm experiencing a feeling of expectancy, as if the
times are pregnant, and birth is eminent. Interesting. I've never really felt this way before. Yes, there is
some anxiety, but there is also a knowingness that something wonderful is about to happen. Exactly what
that is, I don't know. However, there is an inner certainty that I am being propelled along the course that is
right for fulfilling my destiny. Nothing else really matters. This is what I live for now. It's curious that this
would be so, but it is indeed so. Now, how do I reconcile my work in this world with my spiritual work?
Right now the two coexist, but are separate. I desire them to be one and the same. That is, I desire that my
spiritual work be my fulltime job, and indeed my only job. I know, watch out what you ask for. Yet, I also
know that the reward for spiritual work is abundance.
Hmm, there it is again Ln 7.56. That makes at least four days in a row. So, what message is this sending?
That it would be repeated so often indicates that it is important. 28 x 28 - 28 seems to be the key. 28 days
from today is 2/22/96, Washington's Birthday, 2:22-96, span of 74, center at 2:59 = The High
Priestess:The Aquarian Age. Span of 74 is The Benefactor [weh]. It's interesting that both 21 and 22 Feb
show up as highlighted days on my calender.
The Beyond Imagination submittal package weighed 2 lbs 13 ozs and the postage came to exactly $4.00 =
The Emperor:The Fool. Funny, but appropriate. The weight was The High Priestess: Death. For some
reason that seems appropriate as well. The sense is that I still have some work to do. My intuition
indicates that I'm in for some interesting and challenging times.
02/22/96 = 22:20-96, span of 76 (38 x 2), center at 22:58 = The Fool Complete : Peace. This is my Heart's
Desire and my Soul Purpose. Now isn't that interesting! Further, the half-span is 38:VISION = my age as
of my upcoming birthday.
Just learned that my work phone number will change when my office is moved to a different building next
week. 7438 seemed to be the perfect number for me. I can't wait to see what new insights the next number
will provide. The destination for the move has changed as well. Rather than moving to building "G", we
are moving to building "A". The building address changes from 1250 to 1260. Hmm, 1 to 50 to 1 to 60 =
49 to 59. Once again, The Aquarian Age comes forth. The street changes from Borregas to Crossman.
Something flashed in my mind -- Pontius Pilate facing the crowd and asking which man to save, Barrabas
or Jesus. There was an overwhelming association of Barrabas to Borregas and Jesus to Crossman, the man
who died on the cross. Interesting. 2 6 9 9 5 7 1 1 = 40:Page of Cups. 3 9 6 1 1 4 1 5 = 30:Camelot.
205
1250 = 2 x 5 x 5 x 5 x 5
1260 = 2 x 2 x 3 x 3 x 5 x 7 = 36 x 36 - 36
Also = 28 x 45 = 30 x 42 = 35 x 36.
Now, isn't that interesting. 36 days from Monday, the move day, results in 5 Mar 96, the third
anniversary of the day the Beyond Imagination Notes started to come through. Isn't that a trip! Surely this
is more than a coincidence. 36 x 36 - 36 = 6 x 6 x 6 x 6 - 6 x 6. All sixes.
So, the move must be. There is no doubt about it. The numbers definitely indicate a progression that is in
line with moving toward my destiny. One step at a time. I only need to know enough to take that next
step, trusting that consciousness will always provide me with whatever is needed for the one after that.
This makes for living life a bit on the edge. Actually, a lot on the edge. But, I see no other alternatives at
this time. Overall, I feel that I am on course, that I am doing what I need to be doing. I noticed earlier that
the fortune taped to my computer monitor and the one taped to my phone are identical: "Depart not from
the path which fate has you assigned." It's interesting:
(1) that I got the same fortune twice,

(2) that I was moved to save it, and
(3) that I was moved to post it at prominent locations in my work area.
Further, the fortunes have been in place for many months, probably for a year or more, yet I never noticed
the duplication.
29 Jan 96
Everything still seems so uncertain. Yes, I've moved at work, but for how long? My sense is that it is time
to do something else. What that is, I don't know yet. However, it definitely is time. To "no longer toil at
the bidding of any prince", that is the goal. I thought I had achieved it two years ago. But, here I am still
doing essentially the same work. I know, it is not my timing that matters, but the timing of consciousness.
Yet, why do I feel so strongly that such timing is now here? One way or another, I'll know soon enough.
The days march forward towards the end of the current contract that covers my work through the end of
March. After that, you might say it is up to the universe. I have no idea where else to turn for a position.
Nor do I really want one. Yet, the bills must be paid, and that requires a substantial income. I am open to
ways of earning that income that allow me to use my talents and abilities in service to consciousness. I
know that the possibilities are endless. The universe works in mysterious ways.
30 Jan 96
January is rapidly winding to a close. It has been a busy month both on the work and the home fronts. So
many signs indicate that massive change is immanent in many areas of my life. Yet, what does it all
mean? Much points to 4/8/96, the 48 triangle, as being a date of destiny. I sense, however, that I will not
know what the day will bring until it arrives. Things could get quite interesting. This is, indeed, a test of
faith. Hmm. It's not time to change my ways now. I have relied on the unknown, consciousness, for all my
life. She has always served me faithfully. There is no sense that I should have fear now. Come what may, I
am ready for it, especially knowing that consciousness is there beside me all the way. What is there that
consciousness expressing though me cannot handle? Nothing. Literally NOTHING!
206
So, we're back to one step after the other, ever moving forward, always trusting that there is room for one
more step. What lies forward past that does not matter. What lies behind is over, it's importance is past. It
is that immediate step that lies ahead that is the focus for the present, and only the present is worthy of
concern and attention. However, it's helpful to have an expanded view of the present that comprehends the
ramifications of present action.
Do what you are moved to do, whatever that may be. And, do it with the authority granted you by
consciousness. Know that this is an authority of the highest order. Yes, you are that powerful. However, it
is for you to discover the power that is your birthright as spirit expressed in flesh. If you operate from a
belief system that says you are only a corporeal entity, you are denying a major part of your true essence
as spirit. However, if you are denigrating that part of you which is corporeal, you are missing the point of
being spirit enfleshed. There is a utility to physical existence -- and you are her to BE PHYSICAL! Of
course, you are also here to be emotional, mental, and spiritual. All aspects are to be of relatively equal
weight, though there are always exceptions, and sometimes major exceptions at that.
OK, so where does this leave me from a practical standpoint? What alternatives exist for bringing in the
income that I need after March? Even more important, how do I earn such an income doing things that I
love to do that are in line with my purpose and destiny? The immediate answer is that this will indeed
work itself out. I don't have to be concerned about the details -- neither do I have to worry about anything.
The solution is already in place. It only needs to be played out in time. Further, there is a sense that there
is nothing that I could do to change it. Yes, that spits in the face of any concept of free will or choice. But,
I realized over two years ago that such concepts were extremely suspect anyway. Nothing that I've learned
in the past two years has changed this basic assessment. Curious. The bottom line is that everything is still
very much "up in the air". How it will play itself out remains to be seen. I can only trust that the right
options will arise, and that the desired course of action will be obvious. So it has been in the past. I can
only expect that such will remain true for the future. How can I be so optimistic? I really don't see that
there is any other choice. What will be will be. Further, it will be as I believe and expect it to be. Though,
my expectations have been mistaken in the past. This whole area of reality creation, in fact, is still a bit
fuzzy. Then, that is to be expected since I am still "in training".
31 Jan 96
The final day of the month. It's been a busy one! Especially, the final week, including the move. The
month has been very productive. Yet, I am no closer to knowing what lies in store come April than I was
before. Nothing is certain. No information is coming down from management yet regarding continued
employment or lack thereof. It's curious that this is the case and that there does not appear to be anything
that we, the workers, can do about it. Management appears to be just as "in the dark" as we are. No, that's
not a good sign. But, that's the way it is. My workload from the Air Force is greater than ever, but the
current contract runs out in two months whether the work is completed or not.
I still find it hard to conceive that I could be out of a job in two months, especially given the superb
quality of my work. Yet, indeed, it appears that such could be the case. So, how do I put myself in a
position where I am not subject to the whims of a large company, or even a smaller one for that matter?
How do I employ myself, or allow consciousness to employ me directly or through whatever position is
right to serve her needs. There are lots of things that I could do, and several that I would love doing; but
what is it that consciousness would have me do? Is it for me to decide what causes to fight for? Or, is that
left for consciousness to direct? I would assume the later because it makes it easier to separate my will
from Thy Will. But, part of the challenge may be to find a way to use my will to the utmost in support of
Thy Will. Perhaps my Greater Will is Thy Will expressing through me. In such case, my initiative
becomes a crucial tool in achieving Thy Purpose for me in this existence. My sense is that I have been
207
given my unique skills, talents, and experiences for a reason. They are my qualifications for entering into
the specific service that I have been called for.
With each passing day, this call to purpose grows stronger. I am in this world but not of it. I bow to a
higher authority than man's -- to consciousness herself. I am a writer, and a revolutionary one at that. I'm
here to show the country and the world a new way of being. What right have I to make such an outrageous
claim? I know not. I only know that it rings true in my heart, and that all of my experience has shown me
that I can trust this organ fully. I will be what I must be. Such is my destiny. I have no power to change it.
At deeper levels, I chose it prior to coming into this existence. Only now, after nearly 38 years, have I
finally reached a point where I am ready to manifest whom that I am and carry out the mission that I came
to perform. The training has been interesting. But, the true work is still to come. Oh, I still have a lot to
learn in the process. But, I know that everything that I need to carry out my work will be there when I
need it. Consciousness will assure to that.
It was interesting that Gini came up with the Lion King stationary for me yesterday. It's perfect for use in
my role as Philosopher King. Further, the picture is quite humorous. I was thinking about it earlier. I can
create royal decrees if you will; with date, subject, and dictates or musings and send them anywhere.
Whether people take them seriously is beside the point, though I imagine I can arouse a substantial
amount of curiosity. Yes, this seems to be a forum that will allow me to make some of my ideas more
palatable. Interesting.
Beyond Imagination appears to be stuck in the starting blocks. It is not clear that more than a handful of
people have been exposed to the writings and ideas. This is not due to a lack of effort on my part. Rather,
it seems that nothing that I am doing to disseminate the information is working. Yes, on the Internet it's
available for anyone to see, but people don't appear to be finding it. Or, if they are, they are not providing
feedback. There is an inner sense that says when the time is right, the material will indeed take off. But,
there is nothing that I can do to force that time to arrive any sooner.
Trust in the plan. Know that the details are being worked out in the manner that is right. Do what you
know to be right, and don't be concerned about outcomes. Observe the outcomes and adjust your actions
accordingly, but remain detached knowing that consciousness determines the outcomes that are
appropriate for the circumstances. You do not have her perspective, so you cannot expect to know what
she knows and how she works and why. Allow these to be the wonderful mystery that they are. Trust the
process of life, but also learn every step of the way. Allow your intuition to guide you on your path. The
greater trust you place in it, the stronger it gets. Don't second guess your own inner knowingness. It is one
of the greatest powers that you possess as a spiritual being enfleshed.
So, what comes next? What does consciousness have in store for the immediate future? Do I even want to
know in advance? Or, should I be content to allow it to unveil itself in the moment? Yes, this is living life
on the edge. Yet, it appears that I truly have no choice in the matter. It is as if I'm being pushed in that
direction. I can only believe that such is the case because that is the place to be in the troubled times that
lie before us. Actually, challenging may be a more appropriate term to use. We don't have to experience
troubles if we take the appropriate action to sidestep them. However, this may not be such an easy thing to
do.
So, what am I moved to do? Thus far, there is no desire to search for a job. Yet, there is a growing
awareness that an alternative way of generating an income will be required shortly. It will be interesting to
see what manifests in the next few months. The time for change is nigh upon us. It has been a time for
which I've been waiting nearly three years now. It's amazing how fast that time has passed by. They've
definitely been three of the most interesting years of my life. Further, I wouldn't give them back for
anything. There is an awareness now that was not there before. Yes, it is still changing and growing, but
208
the bulk of the awakening has been part of my day to day experience for over two years. Long enough
that I no longer remember what it was like to be without it. I see the world in ways I never did before.
Symbols, in particular, have a specific meaning and importance in my life that is different than for most
others. In fact, I have yet to find anyone else that sees these symbols in the way that I do.
Am I crazy? Perhaps. However, if I am, craziness has some interesting characteristics to it. Much of the
way I interpret reality is something that I have learned on my own. It is not in any way based on any
formal or informal training that I have received. I still find it curious that much of my framework for
managing reality relies on my intuition and a knowingness that comes from my heart. Proof and logic no
longer have a prominent place in my life. Long ago, I found them to be limited -- useful servants, but poor
masters. My focus went toward what I could rely on as master in my life. More and more, this has
demanded increased amounts of my attention. And, rightfully so; for what could be more important? Yet,
why is it that the critical lessons aren't taught as the main curriculum in the education system? Actually,
the answer is easy. If what I have learned firsthand is close to truth, the subject matter is far too
controversial to get any sort of consensus approval.
My sense is that for the most part, I perceive a world that others do not appear to see. After two years, I'm
still a neophyte, still learning what I got myself in to. It's obvious now that it was all set up from the very
beginning. Between 35 and 36, I was to come of age. The new phone number that I got this week seems to
verify that. Further, it sets up 38 as the next step. Back to 4/8/96, my 38th birthday. This year it falls one
day after Easter. On 4/8/07 and 4/8/12, it hits Easter exactly for the only times from 1774-2174. The later
is the last four of my SSN backward. Some of these facts have come out before. It's the connections and
associations that change over time allowing understanding to grow.
209
BEST OF NOTES
FEBRUARY 1996
Expression of consciousness in written form is what I do.

You might even say it is what I am.
I am the word made flesh, bringing forth words that others may more fully
express spirit in flesh.
There is no doubt that this is why I'm on the planet.
This is my mission.
It is the task for which all of my training has prepared me.
210
BEST OF NOTES #28

1 Feb 96
63 @ 35 6335 = 1:03:17(78) 1993-1994

64 @ 37 6437 = 1:04:41(78) 1995-1996
65 @ 39 6539 = 1:05:65(78) 1997-1998
Interpolating,
64 => 65 @ 38 6488 = 1:05:14(78) 1996-1997
Projecting forward,
65 => 66 @ 40 6590 = 1:06:38(78) 1998-1999
66 @ 41 6641 = 1:07:11(78) 1999-2000 Interesting

----------
69 @ 47 6947 = 1:11:05(78) 2005-2006
69 => 70 @ 48 6998 = 1:11:56(78) 2006-2007
70 @ 49 7049 = 1:12:29(78) 2007-2008
72 @ 53 7253 = 1:14:77(78) 2011-2012
78 @ 65 7865 = 1:22:65(78) 2023-2024
I'm curious as to what results from regressing backward:
45 @ conception 4499 = 57:53(78) 1957-1958
It's interesting that the completion card for the Tarot falls at my 65th year. Especially considering that I
have believed that my lifespan is up at 66 for some time now. Curious, indeed. Also, note that 4/8/07 and
4/8/12 fall at interesting points as well.
All of this revealed from one telephone number! How's that for turning a common symbol into something
far more meaningful. All it took was seeing the sequence captured within the number and realizing it's
relevance to my life.
-----
Now, why is it that each year represents 51 in my life? 51 = 3 x 17. Further, each Tarot whole step
represents 102 = Q of Wands Exalted. It's also interesting that 45 = Black Robe was the Tarot number at
my conception, and that this permits Tarot completion to happen at Age 66 in 2025 = 45 x 45. Further, my
life will have taken me through the final 33 numbers of the Tarot.
[NOTE ADDED ON 10/10/97]
211
It just occurred to me that with each year representing 51, the time from 1 Jan to 8 Apr is about 14-
15. This would have put my conception at 4513-4514, or 57:67 - 57:68 = ELLIS:WAYNE, my middle
and first names in ALL CAPS.
[END OF ADDITION]
5 Feb 96
Another weekend without writing Notes. I did contact several people via E-Mail that I found while
surfing the internet, however. Also I found an interesting book online,
The Truth: The Universe is a Growing God
It was absolutely captivating. I read it straight through, then sent a message to the author. I've already
recommended it to five people and added a link to it from my home page. Yes, it was that meaningful to
me. I've never read anything like it. It was clear, yet it conveyed its message poetically. The writing was
the epitome of beauty.
Why was I exposed to such a message on 2/4/96 = 24 x 104. This is of the same form as 2/1/84. Also
2496 = 42-96, span of 54, centered at 69. Interesting. 2184 was centered at 48!
69 is the card just to the right of 37, the center of my H reading. This is the transition between my 37 year
and what lies ahead. My present phone number contains the final two numbers on the right side of 69,
namely 74 and 65. I'm feeling cold and starting to shiver. This is a major connection. It marks the
beginning of a completion. Further, I sense that this completion will occur by my birthday on 4/8/96.
2288 = 22 x 104 = 22-88, span of 66, center at 55.

2392 = 23 x 104 = 32-92, span of 60, center at 62.
2600 = 25 x 104 = 00-62, span of 62 CCW, center at 31

So, what's next? 2704 has it's center at 38, and the span of 68 = WAYNE offers more confirmation that
this seems the most likely candidate for my location in spirit. That would mean that 25:00(104) was just
completed with the 62:Blindfolded Lady span and the 31:Youths Fighting center.
2704 = 26 x 104 = 4 x 26 x 26 = 16 x 13 x 13 = 52 x 52.
Curious. The only prime factors are 2 and 13. 16 x 13 x 13 = The Tower x Death x Death. Also, 52:Q of
Swords is my personality number. It appears that this is going to be a very interesting year. I don't sense
that this triple combination applies to the world yet, so I must conclude that it is a personal message for
me. However, 26:00(104), is 26:00 in the 26 Exalted Base. I've come to associate 26 with GOD [7+15+4].
Thus we have the GOD cycle in the GOD Exalted Base. Powerful indeed. But, what am I to make of this?
To make this personal seems to be egotistic to the extreme. Yet, if not this, then what message is being
conveyed. It's especially interesting that this comes the day after my introduction to THE TRUTH.
Indeed, The Universe is a Growing God. Of this, I have no doubt, though I had never been moved to
express it in exactly this way.
212
Just noticed that the 31, 38, 45, 52 sequence indicates cycles of 7 years. Further, it appears that I stopped
the sequence short. The next two number are 59:The Aquarian and 66:my final year. It's interesting that
30:00(104) Camelot Exalted in the GOD Exalted Base.
-----
The more I see revealed, the more I am blown away. These are just numbers. Yet, my mind is moved to
apply a meaning to them that appears so obvious to me when I see it. I can't prove that what I see is true.
Yet, there is something in me that knows that it is. Or , at the very least is as close to the truth as I can
bring through at this time. I trust that the appropriate connections will be made, and I allow whatever it is
that expresses through me to bring through whatever it is able. You might say that I do this because I
must. Yet, I do it of my own free will. I am compelled by a force whose origin I know not. However, I see
the result and I like what I see.
I speak for an energy/entity that I know as a voice in my head. That voice is not me. I observe it entering
my awareness and I hear what it has to say, but there is no sense that it is me saying it. I relay what I hear
to my fingers and to the screen. Often, I am amazed by what is expressed. The sense is truly one of the
material coming through me versus being generated by me. From a broader perspective, it doesn't matter.
This voice that I hear is obviously part of whom that I am, especially since others do not appear to hear
the specific voice that calls me. Whether this is an aspect of my psyche of which I am only aware of its
results, doesn't really matter either. What matters is that it is able to express through me in flesh. These
words are physical. The act of bringing them forth establishes their vibration in the universe regardless of
whether this material ever reaches an audience. Consciousness or GOD has learned from their expression.
And, what has come forth once, can easily be manifest again. The difficulty lies in bringing things forth
the first time.
How is it that I am able to see things that others do not see? Obviously, it is required for the path that I
must follow to my destiny. The sense is that the circumstances necessary for me to start carrying out my
mission in the world are rapidly manifesting. I don't know what they are, nor how they will come into
existence, but I know that they must. My destiny must be made manifest, and the forces of the universe
are actively engaged in bringing about the necessary conditions. My directive, as always, is to do what I
am moved to do. I am to learn from the results but am not to be concerned with the consequences. I am
being moved by consciousness, or at least am still learning how to be so moved. My focus is to be on
what I can do now. The future is created from a succession of moments. In the end, it is only the moments
that matter. That is where life is lived.
I'm finding it hard to focus on work again, especially when I regard this as my true work. This is what I
most love to do. Expression of consciousness in written form is what I do. You might even say it is what I
am. I am the word made flesh, bringing forth words that others may more fully express spirit in flesh.
There is no doubt that this is why I'm on the planet. This is my mission. It is the task for which all of my
training has prepared me. All of my life I have allowed consciousness herself to guide me on my path. I've
had no teachers, nor gurus, only the written word to guide my journey to self-awareness. Yes, I've
attended classes and seminars, but these have been relatively few, and their impact was far less than the
written word. I am by nature a creature of the ethers. My world has always been one of ideas, or at least
one in which ideas were emphasized most heavily. Again we notice Ln 7.56.
Yes, I can state this matter of factly, for what I state is the truth as I've experienced it. Are my impressions
accurate? Does it really matter? They are what they are. The importance of the past is not in what actually
did or did not happen, it's in our interpretation of the meaning of what happened. This is generally
captured in our remembrance. What really matters is whether my observations, declarations, and
statements have utility to you. Do they allow you to understand yourself better, to more fully express
213
spirit in you life, to make choices that make a positive difference in your life and the lives of those you
touch? If so, I have provided value. If not, these are but the ramblings of a madman. Yet, if I am mad -- at
the very least, you have to admit that madness expresses with a uniqueness and originality that is quite
interesting. I sure find it so. Hopefully you do as well. Actually, if you've made it this far, this is probably
no longer a relevant issue. We've been together long enough for you to have some respect for the source
from which these ideas originate, even if I can't pinpoint exactly who or what that is. Yes, it may even be
me. However, I wouldn't want to swear to it. Interesting.
6 Feb 96
It's interesting that this month is starting off with so many numbers, especially since the moon has been
close to full for the past several days. I'm definitely impacted by the cycles of the moon. I don't know
why, I've just observed that it is so. There is no question of whether it should be or not, it just is. I guess
this is why the bipolar condition doesn't surprise or phase me either. It is a natural part of whom that I am.
It is not a disease or problem or condition. It simply is part of my experience of being. Whether others
experience it or not is of no consequence. What matters is that I experience it. Interesting. So matter of
fact. Yet, this specific condition brought me to the very brink of insanity just over two years ago. I didn't
make it over the edge. But, I got quite close -- and it took some time to recover.
Two years plus later, I'm sitting in the same job, and still churning out the Notes. However, with each
passing day, the end of March, and probably the end of my current job comes nearer. It is still uncertain as
to what happens after that. For the past eight months, I've been moved to try to make connections and
disseminate the works of Beyond Imagination. It's not clear that this endeavor has been successful, though
not due to lack of effort on my part. Lately, my focus has been on finding kindred spirits with whom to
interrelate. I've found a few so far, but the process is slow. Yet, my sense is that my search will indeed be
successful. I do what I must do. Ages ago I accepted the will of consciousness as my guide. I will follow
her throughout the duration of my existence on this planet. It's interesting how that was worded. I have
not been alive for ages in this existence. Yet, even now "ages" rings true as the right word to use in that
context.
-----
Am I really that different? Is my perspective on the world that unique? In many respects, I lead a very
strange life. It is definitely not typical or average. Yet, much of whom that I am is because of how I have
lived. Or, perhaps it's the other way around. Because of whom that I am, I could live in no other way.
Interesting. For the most part, I feel that I have really had no choice. The decisions were automatic. There
was always only one path that felt right, and I used my intuition to find that path. Circumstances just
happened. When something was needed, it appeared. When I had questions, the answers were
forthcoming, usually from some book that I was moved to read. Most of the time these books were
brought to my attention in mysterious ways. Rarely was a book ever recommended by anyone. In high
school, I spent a lot of time in the library just browsing the shelves looking at titles, not even opening
books to their cover pages. I would browse until I got a sense that this was a book I needed to read. And,
sure enough, when this would happen, the book would address the very issues that I had on my mind.
Very early, I found that I could rely on this process. In fact, rarely did I think twice about it. I accepted
that this was a natural process. It didn't occur to me to ask whether others did this.
From that standpoint, I have lived my life as a hermit. With rare exception, until the past few years, no
one knew much about me, period. Literally, no one. And, in turn, I knew virtually nothing about anyone.
Other than interactions at work, I simply did not deal with people. This was not a part of my reality.
Anyway, it was a very small part. Yet, this was necessary to make me whom that I am. Looking back, my
214
experience was not always happy. In fact, at times I was downright bored. But, I wouldn't trade any of it
for anything. What I experienced was necessary to get me here. And, what I am now is more than I have
ever been before. The changes in just over two years have literally blown me away. I am awake to a
degree that I never was before. Further, there is no going back. The realizations that I have had have
moved me to a different space and time, a whole new level of being, and they are the one thing that
cannot be taken away. The things may go, the body may return to dust, the mind may cease to function,
but the aware IS, and it can never be otherwise. What I have done may or may not have any lasting effect.
That is for consciousness to decide. But, whom I have become and what I have learned in the process, that
alone is mine.
Destiny calls. The urge within me is to do the bidding of consciousness, whatsoever that may be, and to
do it to the best of my ability whenever I am called to service. Interesting. Yet, that is indeed what life is
now. SERVICE = 1594935 = 4 9 35-51 CCW, span of 16:The Tower, centered at 4:The Emperor 9:The
Hermit 43:Abundance. Interesting. You might say that I'm in Her Majesty's Service. How appropriate.
There seems to be another meaning here. The period for 4 9 service is from age 35 through age 51 for me.
35 marked the start of my spiritual transformation in 1993. 51 occurs in 2009-2010. This leaves one final
period of 16 years to get me to 2025. 4/8/07 --- 4/8/09-4/8/10 --- 4/8/12. My 51 year is exactly in the
middle of the five year period between the times when my birthday falls on Easter. The sense is that a new
phase of life does begin at that time and that the 4/8/12 = 2184 backwards date is when my true purpose is
finally revealed and my MISSION on Earth begins.
MISSION. Reversed = NO IS SIM. A cosmic joke, indeed. For many years in the Air Force, I dealt with
SIMulation requirements. At Loral, I'm in the Modelling and SIMulation Group. The immediate response
that comes to mind is IS REAL = 91 9513
Death Exalted : Death => Aquarian Age , span of 46 CCW, center at 36.
7 Feb 96
Found out earlier today that my cubicle is # 22:The Fool Exalted, my Heart's Desire. Interesting and
appropriate. It seems that everywhere around me the numbers are starting to click in a way that they never
have before.
wayne = 23, ellis = 21, hartman = 30, jr = 10
2^3 x 2^1 x 3^0 x 1^0 = 8 x 2 x 1 x 1 = 16:The Tower = 2^4 = 24 = "X".
NZ = "X" in a square when written one over the other. 24^2 = 576 = 9:The Hermit x 64:Thy Will, not
mine, be Done. Major shivers!!!!! From the inside out 576 = 7:56.
So, Be NZ = 25 7:56, center = 7:54 = 628 or 5:74 from the inside out. This is the swing from The
Benefactor to HARTMAN or from The Chariot:The Emperor to The Chariot:The Hierophant.
"Y" squared = 25 x 25 = 625 = 25-26 time click.
"Z" squared = 26 x 26 = 676 = 76, the year the US was founded [1776] and the year I graduated from high
school [1976]. Also, the year that my niece Jamie was born. Hmm, this is also 7:66 from the inside out.
215
8 Feb 96
Started out OK, but never got back to writing yesterday. Did get an e-mail off to Steve Forbes. It's not too
likely anything will come of it given his conservative stance, but who knows? Eventually I'm going to
reach someone who appreciates what I have to say and is in a position to carry the ball and run with it.
Somehow, my role seems to best be played out behind the scenes in an advisory capacity. The ideas speak
for themselves. It matters not from whom they were uttered. And, as the saying goes "nothing can stop an
idea whose time has come".
2/8/96 = 82-96, span of 14, center at 89 = Justice Exalted, the center of my "X" reading. Interesting that
this comes on day after my X squared revelation. Interesting indeed!
Pace for notes is OK. Not great, but normal. I'm finding that there is more and more to work out between
the writing times. Life offers the experiences that reflect how spirit is expressed in flesh. It is still not
clear what role I am to play in relationship to others. To date, no specific connections have arisen that
seem deep and lasting. However, each week I am indeed reaching more people, if only one or two at a
time. What keeps me going is a knowingness that it just takes one, the right one, and that will happen
when the time is right. The bottom line is that I TRUST consciousness. No matter how things seem, there
is a Plan at work, and circumstances will work out in a manner that conforms to the Plan. My only
responsibility is to do what I am moved to do, and to do it to the best of my ability. Indeed, no more could
be asked of anyone.
One might ask, why do I trust consciousness? The answer I would offer is because doing so is
empowering. I know this from direct experience. Also, it allows life to be lived with a sense of magic as
well as majesty. There is a Purpose to creation, to life. And, we as individuals have specific purposes
within that larger Purpose. We are indeed spirit expressed in flesh, forever learning how to embody more
of whom that we truly are. This is the Great Work. All else pales in comparison. For me, words -- in
particular the written word -- are my medium of expression. Pictures and graphics are nice, but they
operate in a realm that is foreign to me.
-----
The keys to my office that I was given yesterday say cube #22. 22 x 22 x 22 = 10648 = The Magician:
The Lovers: The Man in Search of More.
6:01-48, span of 47:ASLAN, center at 6:25-6:26. Hmm, a 25 => 26 transition again. That's the "Y"
squared stuff from yesterday. This 47 year cycle started at age 19 in 1977. Interesting. 1977 = 77-91, span
of 14, center at 84:The Lovers Exalted, The top of my "A" reading. It's especially noteworthy that this
was also the transition to the 6: The Lovers cycle. With each revelation I am more and more amazed. The
sheer number and variety of connections is nearly unbelievable. Yet, here they are. Consciousness has led
me to every one of them, and without any regular system or process to guide me.
Essentially, I operate on intuition, allowing free association to guide me to the appropriate circumstances
that stimulate me to make connections. I guess this is the stuff of which lunatics are made. Yet, it is my
reality. And, the symbols and connections have a meaning that cannot be denied. Is the process that I use
repeatable? No. However, why should it have to be? The more important question is whether the process
results in useful information. Here, I must answer yes. But, I can only answer for myself. Whether what I
do is useful to others is for them to decide. At the very least I offer a picture of how another consciousness
works, even if that is quite different from your own. I don't know enough to know how similar or different
216
that might be. At the same time, I don't know that I possess any special capabilities that necessarily make
what I do unique.
12 Feb 96
Once again, another three days without writing. Though, I did write several introductory letters to people I
learned about via the Internet. Lately, this has become my modus operandi. I surf the net for sites that are
related to the Beyond Imagination and write to the associated e-mail addresses to introduce myself and the
Beyond Imagination works. I am deeply moved to establish connections right now. It doesn't matter why.
It is enough to know that I am so moved and to note that I am aware of being moved in this manner. It's as
if I'm answering an innate directive. For many, this is a directive to procreate. In my case, my creations
are the work of consciousness, and for them to live, they must be disseminated. I trust that consciousness
will guide me in this process. As always, I must do only that which I am moved to do. It's not that this is
difficult. For me, anyway, there is no denying the force that moves me.
The 21 x 96 days all have a span of 84, with center at x:54, The Page of Swords, cutting the True from the
False. We have 10 days of this in Feb. 22 x 96 days follow with a span of 74, and a center at x:59, The
Aquarian Age. It seems that we're in for a very interesting month.
Just noticed last night that "beyond imagination" = 29 58 = the 29 triangle! It's amazing that I had not
discovered this before, especially given how involved I've been with triangle numbers. 29 is the number
of "light". Further, 58-92 CCW has span of 34, center at 75 = HARTMAN.
Also interesting is that Light = 38:VISION, and LIGHT = 56:Balance, center of my inverted triangle.
Just made an interesting connection, WEH = 23 * 5 * 8 = 920 = 11:62(78). This number came up two
years ago in the 1994-832 = 1162 context. It marks the year of Genghiz Khan's birth as well as the year
that Becket became Archbishop of Canterbury -- the Hierophant.
beyond imagination = 29 + 58 = 87: The Hermit Exalted. Interesting that I hadn't noticed this before
either. Now, how does an Exalted Hermit make his way in the world? That's a very good question. It will
be interesting to see what answer becomes manifest in the days ahead. Yes, interesting indeed.
weh = 5 * 5 * 8 = 200 = WAYNE ELLIS HARTMAN. Coincidence? Maybe. But, I wouldn't count on it.
Only three of 1000 combinations would yield this sum.
-----
bi = 29 polar = 7/13/16/17/26. 29 + 26 = 55. Also = light GOD. Now, just what might that mean? Clearly
it's an important discovery. Why was I led to handle the first part of the word different than the latter?
Only consciousness would lead me in that manner. Something about consistency being the "hobgoblin of
little minds" just flashed by. No one can accuse me of that anyway. They might think I'm loony, but
definitely not consistent. Though, I can be very stubborn at times, as my wife will attest.
There is something amazing about connecting my initials to a number that came out of the blue nearly two
years ago. In fact, it was one of the numbers that was instrumental in taking me on my continuing
excursion with finding meaning in the day-to-day symbols around me.
217
832 was a 104 number = 8:00(104). So was 1976 = 19:00(104), my high school graduation year and the
bicentennial for the country. The next 104 year is not until 2080. The one after that is 2184, the last four
of my SSN.
13 Feb 96
The days get flying by. The end of March draws nearer and nearer. I know not where my immediate
destiny lies. But, I trust that consciousness doth know, and that wherever it is will be right for this point in
my life. Yes, I am resigned to a fate I know not what. But, it is an optimistic resignation, for I know that
consciousness is using me to do her works. Further, I willingly cooperate in this endeavor. There is no
sacrifice that I sense, no giving up of anything of value. Yes, I mean this wholeheartedly. I have no
awareness of my will having value anymore. I once did, but that was before the transformation of 1993.
-----
ELLIS = 57 = 3 + 19 = 22 = 2 + 11 = 13
WAYNE ELLIS HARTMAN = 23 13 23 = 59: The Aquarian Age.
wayne ellis hartman = 23 7 7 = 37: The K of Cups, the middle of my "H" reading.
Wayne Ellis Hartman = 41 7 7 = 55 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
62 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ... There we go again 25, 52, 35, 12.
REDUCTIONS
1
2
3
4 = 22 = 13
5
6=5
7
8 = 23
9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
10 = 7
11
12 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = ...
13
14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = ...
15 = 8 = 23
16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
17
18 = 34 = 19
19
20 = 27 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
21 = 10 = 7
22 = 13
218
24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
26 = 15 = 8 = 23
28 = 29
30 = 10 = 7
35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35 = ...
36 = 54 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35 = ...
38 = 21 = 10 = 7
39 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
44 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
45 = 37
48 = 27 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
50 = 54 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35 = ...
56 = 30 = 10 = 7
57 = 22 = 13
58 = 31
62 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
64 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
65 = 18 = 34 = 19
66 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
68 = 21 = 10 = 7
69 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
70 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
74 = 39 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
75 = 55 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
76 = 23
77 = 18 = 34 = 19
78 = 18 = 34 = 19
87 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
88 = 34 = 19
91 = 20 = 27 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = ...
95 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
104 = 36 = 54 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35 = ...
219
23: 8 15 16 23 24 26 39 55 64 66 69 72 74 75 76 90 94 95 98
7: 7 10 21 30 38 45 56 60 68 86 92
13: 4 13 22 57 85 102
19: 18 19 34 65 77 78 81 88
25 52 35 12 9 12 14 20 25 27 32 33 35 36 42 44 48 50 51 52 54 62 70 84 87 91 104
It's amazing that all of these numbers reduce to these 5 cases. It's particularly interesting that 19 numbers
reduce to 23 = wayne and that 23 numbers reduce to the sequence.
14 Feb 96
Valentine's Day! I'm obsessed with my numbers again, this time over a strange reduction process that
convert powers into digits and adds factors rather than multiplying them. For the numbers from 1 through
104 the results are:
23 21 times 23 21 = wayne ellis

25 17 times
23 + 25 = 48: The Hermit, 23 * 25 = 575, 21+17 = 38 = VISION.
7 10 times + 7 = 55: The Ace of Swords

19 9 times +19 = 74: The Benefactor
13 6 times +13 = 87: The Hermit Exalted
29 6 times +29 = 116: VISION Exalted
35 5 times +35 = 151: Heaven Lies Within Exalted
5 2 times + 5 = 156: The High Priestess
12 2 times +12 = 168: The Hanged Man Twice Exalted
31 2 times +31 = 199: Abundance Twice Exalted
41 2 times +41 = 240: The Lovers Thrice Exalted
43 2 times +43 = 283, 823 from the inside out. 8 = 23, interesting.
Note that if we convert the first 5 numbers to letters we get:
WYGSM
If we use the corresponding counts, we get:
UQJIF
WAY 23 1 25 49 = 72 = 55 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
WHY 23 8 25 56 = 30 = 10 = 7
WXY 23 24 25 72 = 55 = 16 = 24 = 26 = 15 = 8 = 23
220
23 * 1 * 25 = 575
23 * 8 * 25 = 4600
23 * 24 * 25 = 13800
Curious. The three main letter readings that I use are my "A", "H", and "X" readings, in that order. These
are the only letter readings I felt moved to copy and hang on my wall at work!
If we do number reductions on the letters, before we multiply, we note that both 8 and 24 "reduce" to the
same number, 23.
23 * 23 * 25 = 13225 = 2:25-31 CCW, span of 6:The Lovers, centered at 2:28. This is The High Priestess:
The Man with the World in His Hand. Now isn't that interesting. 228 is the sum for my whole name,
WAYNE ELLIS HARTMAN JR.
228 = 2**2 * 57 = 79: The Magician.
WAYNE = 23 1 25 25 5 = 79: The Magician. Note 7:The Chariot and 9:The Hermit
ELLIS = 5 12 12 25 19 = 73: True Heaven Lies Within.
HARTMAN = 23 1 19 25 13 1 25 = 107: "light" Exalted.
It's interesting that none of my names reduce. All three are prime!
Sum = 259 = 7 * 37 = 44 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25
From the inside out we have 529 = 23 * 23. Now isn't that interesting.
WAY = 575. WAY + 1 = WAY + ONE = 575 + 1 = 576 = 24 * 24.
But, ONE = 23 25 5. WAY + ONE = 23 1 25 + 23 25 5 = 46 26 30 = 25 23 7. Now isn't that interesting.

These are the top three reduction numbers. Further, if we map the other members of the (25 52 35 12)
repeating sequence to 25, the three numbers would be in order of frequency as well.
We're definitely onto something here. The numbers are connecting in ways that are amazing, literally
beyond belief. There is a strong sense of discovery. These relationships are not there by accident. Bit by
bit, my mission and the nature of reality is unfolding before my eyes and mind. I am a participant in the
process, but my major role is to watch what unfolds and try not to get in the way of what is being
revealed. This requires a deep trust in the process and an allowance that accepts that things may be other
than they seem.
The thought crosses my mind that I am indeed crazy. My methods and my interpretations are without any
prior basis, foundation, or training. As far as I know, they are unique and unrelated to anything that I have
ever been exposed to in this existence. Curious that this would be so given how much I have been exposed
to.
15 Feb 96
221
Down to six weeks and counting! Still not worried, but I have no idea as to what is in store. There is a
sense of excitement living on the edge. However, it is not really on the edge. The universe or
consciousness has things well in hand. I just don't happen to know what she has planned. It will be what it
must be. I have a destiny awaiting me. More and more, it appears that it is time for that destiny to
manifest. There is a heightened sense of readiness, a sense that I am prepared now to embark on a path
that allows my works to be done. Of course, my works are whatever works consciousness would choose
to do through me.
19 Feb 96
Once again, another three days without writing; and I was doing so good for the month. There is
something about the difference in location between here, Sunnyvale, and home, Monterey, that makes a
difference. A quick estimate would be that the split of writing output is something like 90% vs 10% even
though the free time split is closer to 30% vs 70%. Interesting. My sense is that it has something to do
with astrocartography. The 80 mile delta (60 as the crow flies) is enough to bring two additional lines into
play. The Mercury line (communication and writing) comes very close to Sunnyvale.
Larry found a few mistakes in my number reductions from last week. It turns out that there are exactly 23
out of the first 104 numbers that "reduce" to 23. Interesting. 23**2 = 529 = 855 = weh reversed.
Something tells me that this is no coincidence. Also curious is that there are exactly 16:The Tower
occurrences of 25:First Knight.
These two numbers have an interesting place in the sequence:
(5) 2 7 9 16 25 41 66 107
My sense is that this is another piece in the puzzle that indicates where I am currently at. It seems that I
have reached or am soon to reach 23**2. I just had a visualization of checkers and "squared"
corresponding to being "KING-ed". Interesting. Perhaps "philosopher king" is in the cards after all. And
further, sooner than I think.
It's very interesting that (wayne)**2 = weh reversed. It's also interesting that 16 = P, 23 = W, and 25 = Y.
Hmm, it's the squares that really matter however.
16**2 = 256 = 2**8 = 28 = 29
22**2 = 484 = 2**2 * 11**2 = 134 = 2 * 67 = 69 = 3 * 23 = 26 = 2 * 13 = 15 = 8 = 23
23**2 = 529 = 232 = 2**3 * 29 = 52 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52
24**2 = 576 = 26 * 32 = 58 = 2 * 29 = 31
25**2 = 625 = 5**4 = 54 = 2 * 3**3 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35
26**2 = 676 = 2**2 * 13**2 = 154 = 2 * 7 * 11 = 20 = 2**2 * 5 = 27 = 33 = 14 = 9 = 32 = 25 = 52 = 35

= 12 = 25
27**2 = 729 = 3**6 = 2**2 * 3**2 = 54 = 2 * 3**3 = 35 = 12 = 25 = 52 = 35
222
28**2 = 784 = 2**4 * 7**2 = 96 = 2**5 * 3 = 28 = 29
29**2 = 841 = 292 = 2**2 * 73 = 95 = 5 * 19 = 24 = 2**3 * 3 = 26 = 2 * 13 = 15 = 8 = 23
30**2 = 900 = 2**2 * 3**2 * 5**2 = 106 = 55 = 16 = 24 = 2**3 * 3 = 26 = 2 * 13 = 15 = 8 = 23
31**2 = 961 = 312 = 2**3 * 3 * 13 = 39 = 16 = 24 = 2**3 * 3 = 26 = 2 * 13 = 15 = 8 = 23
32**2 = 1024 = 2**10 = 2 * 3 * 5 * 7 = 17
Note that 32 squared reduces to The Star and its factors are the first four primes! Further, it is preceded by
a 23 triple. 28**2 reduces to the same number that 28 reduced to (29). Prior to that we have three years in
a row that reduce to the (12 25 52 35) cycle.
My intuition tells me we're at or moving rapidly to the 24**2 step. This is my 7:56 merkaba combination
that is reflected in my triangle readings. [Pg 16 : The Tower Ln 7:56]. How's that for confirmation. There
is even information embedded in how the words are placed on the page. It's amazing just how
orchestrated everything is. Clearly this is not done consciously. It is amazing nonetheless.
23**10 = 2310 = 2 * 3 * 5 * 7 * 11 = 28 = 29 = beyond!
This is the number whose factors are the first five primes, the next major step.
20 Feb 96
I also found that the sequence (n-1)(n)(n+1) has some interesting properties.
10 11 12 1320
11 12 13 1716
12 13 14 2184 28:00(78) = 21:00(104)
13 14 15 2730
14 15 16 3360
15 16 17 4080 40 Triangle
16 17 18 4896 48 Triangle
17 18 19 5814 [ADDED 10/97: 57:ELLIS * 102]
18 19 20 6840 [ADDED 10/97: WAYNE @ 40]
19 20 21 7980 [ADDED 10/97: 798 = 228!]
20 21 22 9240
21 22 23 10626
27 28 29 21924 Centered at 918 = 9 Triangle
Note that consecutive numbers 16 and 17 result in triangles and further that these triangle numbers are a
perfect pair 40 + 48 = 88. The second of these is 48:The Man in Search of More and the date 4/8/96 is my
upcoming birthday.
Note also that n=28:The Man with the World in his Hands has The Hermit triangle buried within it.
Further, it has a span of 13 counting both endpoints, running from 9:12 to 9:24. Its interesting that this
stops one shy of 925, which reversed = 529 = 23**2.
223
So, am I making mountains out of molehills? Am I seeing things that aren't really there? My sense is no.
These are indeed valid observations. Further, that they are guided by an intuitive process gives them that
much more credibility, at least in my eyes. Interesting.
21 Feb 96
Didn't get much sleep last night. Between the rain, the wind, and thinking about how I wanted to respond
to the President's letter, I was was up most of the night. I must have composed the letter in my head 20
times during the night. When I got to work, I wrote what I regard to be the best letter of my life. If that is
not sufficient to get attention, then nothing is. I'm curious to see what the response will be this time.
7:56 showed up twice on my way home last night. The first occurrence was as a time during the first third
of my commute home. The second was the tripmeter mileage as I purchased my dinner at Jack In The
Box. These occurred within about 10 minutes of each other. This number is 428 = The Emperor: The Man
with the World in his Hands.
22 Feb 96
Looking back, it was pretty audacious of me to write to the President in the manner that I did yesterday.
But, it was something that I just had to do. He may not know me from Adam, however if yesterdays
message wasn't enough to get his attention and the attention of his staff, then nothing will. Anyway, what
will be will be. I took the initiative and did what I could in the best way I knew how. Now, the ball is in
his court -- or, more accurately, in consciousness court. Interesting.
Just noticed that the 88 completion number for 23 is 55 = New Way. Now isn't that interesting. wayne (+
The Moon) => Wayne (+ The Hierophant) => new Way (+ The Hermit) New Way.
The Moon + The Hierophant + The Hermit = 1859. That's 99 years before I was born. I wonder what
happened then. Whitman's "Leaves of Grass" was published four years earlier in 1855. My house was
built 11 years later in 1870. 59-81 has a span of 22 CCW, centered at 70 = 528.
529 expresses the sequence 25 26 27 28 29. These are very important steps for the world. Hmm. I wonder
if these are timing marks? Major shivers.
1859 528 25 26 27 28
1996 529 25 26 27 28 29
Delta = 137 = 1:59[78] years. The Aquarian Age Exalted. Now isn't that interesting.
Backing up 137 years yields 1722 = The Star: The Fool Completed
1859 = The Moon: The Aquarian Age
1996 = The Sun: The Moon Exalted
Moving forward 137 years yield 2133 = The World: The Christ
1958 = 14:40[137] The Page of Cups year of The Temperance Cycle

1974 = 14:56[137] The Balance year of The Temperance Cycle
1976 = 14:58[137] The Peace year of The Temperance Cycle
224
1996 = 14:78[137] The Tarot Completion year of The Temperance Cycle.
2007 = 14:89[137] The Justice Exalted year of The Temperance Cycle
2012 = 14:94[137] The Tower Exalted year of The Temperance Cycle
2025 = 14:107[137] The Light Exalted year of The Temperance Cycle
Just noticed that 89:Justice Exalted and 87:The Hermit Exalted are an 88 completion pair. However, they
sum to twice 88 rather than 88. For the numbers between 89 and 98, the 88 completion is a number
between 78 and 87 and results in double 88 or 176.
83:The Hierophant Exalted + 93:The Devil Exalted. These two are side by side in the upper right corner
of my inverted triangle reading. Isn't that curious?
This 137 base places my lifespan in an interesting place in a cycle, where the key events in my life line up
with very meaningful and relevant points in the cycle. There is no way that I could have discovered this
without giving my intuition full room to roam. Hmm.
1996 marks one cycle of 22 since my introduction to metaphysics in 1974. The next cycle of 22 would
complete in 2018 = 14:100[137]. The Fool Complete Exalted year of The Temperance cycle. Isn't that a
kick!
Another major shiver after the realization that 1996 marks the Tarot Completion year for me. For the
remainder of my life, I'm in the Exalted realm.
137 = 13**7 = 62748517
62 = The Blindfolded Lady

74 = The Benefactor
85 = The Chariot Exalted
17 = The Star
Reversed
71 = Building the Cathedral
58 = Peace, also the year I was born.
47 = ASLAN
26 = GOD
Note, if we add one and unfold from the inside out we get:
48 = The Man in Search of More. Also, my birthday.
75 = HARTMAN
21 = ellis. Also, The World.
68 = WAYNE
Now, isn't that interesting. All three parts of my name plus my birthday in one number! And further, only
those components with no extraneous digits. Also, if I took the number from the outside in instead of the
inside out, the parts of my name would have come out in the right order as well. In addition, the two
components that I use came out with their ALL CAPS sums, while my middle name, which I never use,
came out with its no caps sum.
4726 - 8518 = span of 3792, half span of 1896, center at 6622 = My Life Span: Fool Complete. This is
especially interesting since The Fool Complete is also My Heart's Desire.
225
1896, the half span, is The Moon: The Moon Exalted. No wonder The Moon plays such a prominent role
in my path. No wonder indeed.
68
2175
48 This is telling me that I am 9 years shy of 2184, my mission (last four of my SSN)
That would mean that my mission starts in 2005 and lasts for 20 years through Judgement, the top of my
triangle reading.
Further, 2025 is 45**2. 45 is required for the wayne => WAYNE transition. 45**2 = 3**4 * 5**2 = 86 =
2 * 43 = 45 = 3**2 * 5 = 37 : The King of Cups = Riding the Subconscious. This is my present age and
the center of my "H" reading. Further, the Tarot reading that I got over the Internet last night had 69 over
37, 68 next to 69 in the passing position, and 21 next to 89 in the future position. In the "H" reading, 68 is
to the right of 37, and 69 is to the left of 37.
It's absolutely amazing that all this information can be coming together in this manner. All the pieces of
the puzzle are fitting together. Further, it appears that they are definitely part of one puzzle. I haven't had
time to think of what the ramifications of this are on my world view. Observing and discovering the
nature of my personal reality is becoming a full time occupation.
Just noticed something about my SSN 575 68 2184. My SSN has revealed many meanings over the past
two years. 7 and 56, the two drivers of my triangle readings have been prominent for most of that time.
Yet I had never noticed that they were right there all the time.
My name is also embedded in my SSN
57 5 68 21 84
57 = ELLIS
5 = The Hierophant
68 = WAYNE
21 = ellis, also The World
84 = The Lovers Exalted [also, wayne ellis hartman jr]
5 75 68 21 84 This contains the same format for my name as 13**7.

5 = The Hierophant
75 = HARTMAN
68 = WAYNE
21 = ellis, also The World
84 = wayne ellis hartman jr, also The Lovers Exalted
-----
Another meaning for 413 is 41**3 = 68 9 21 = WAYNE The Hermit ellis.
9:21-86 = The Hermit: The World - Strength Exalted, span of 65, center at 9:53-54.
Hmm, this is 5:93-5:94 from the center out.
226
It's curious that the span is one year shy of my expected life span. That suggests the years line up with my
years. I was born as The Hermit: ellis. My final year 9:87 will be as The Hermit: The Hermit Exalted.
Further, 987 is the sweep from 87 to 89, The Hermit Exalted to Justice Exalted. The only number passed
in the sweep is 88, infinity above, infinity below. WOW!
The coming year, my 38th is 9:59, The Hermit:The Aquarian Age. WOW, again!
2007, 11 years hence, is 9:70, The Hermit: The Juggler [528]

2012, 16 years hence, is 9:75, The Hermit: HARTMAN
2024, 28 years hence, is 9:87, The Hermit: The Hermit Exalted
2025, 29 years hence, is 9:88, The Hermit: time to ascend.
26 Feb 96
More number stuff. I can't stop thinking about them. The moon's not full, but my attention is captivated
with uncovering what meaning the universe would have me find.
wayne 23 Wayne 41 WAYNE 68
ellis 21 Ellis 21 ELLIS 57
hartman 30 Hartman 30 HARTMAN 75
first + mid 44 62 125
total 74 92 200
jr 10 Jr 19 JR 28
TOTAL 84 111 228
210 = 2 * 3 * 5 * 7 --- 23 = wayne, 57 = ELLIS
210 (hex) = 528 --- 210 = 5 * 6 * 7 = 6 * 6 * 6 - 6
528 (hex) = 1320 = 10 * 11 * 12
888 (hex) = 2184 = 12 * 13 * 14
1320 (hex) = 4896 = 16 * 17 * 18 Also, my next birthday.
-----
8 1 = 1000 1 = 17: The Star

8 2 = 1000 10 = 34: Spirit
8 3 = 1000 11 = 35: Spiritual Inheritance
8 4 = 1000 100 = the pattern for WAYNE
8 5 = 1000 101 = the pattern for 69: Ace of Pentacles
8 6 = 1000 110 = the pattern for 70: The Juggler [528]
227
8 7 = 1000 111 = the pattern for 71: Building the Cathedral
8 8 = 1000 1000 = WAYNE * 2
8 9 = 1000 1001 = The Aquarian Age Exalted = 68 + 69
9 1 = 1001 1 = 19: The Sun

9 2 = 1001 10 = 38: VISION [NOTE: Jumps by 19!]
9 3 = 1001 11 = 39: Knight of Cups
9 4 = 1001 100 = 76 [NOTE: Jumps by 37!]
9 5 = 1001 101 = 77: CHRIST
9 6 = 1001 110 = 78: Tarot Completion
9 7 = 1001 111 = 79: The Magician
9 8 = 1001 1000 = 153 = 75 Exalted [NOTE: Jumps by 74!]
9 9 = 1001 1001 = 154 = 76 Exalted
It seems that we're in for some very interesting years ahead. This is a strange way to construct a sequence,
but turns out to be a very meaningful one. Curious.
I never know where my excursions are going to take me anymore. Long ago, I stopped following any
processes that I had ever read about. [Pg 29 Ln 7.56] Consciousness now is my sole guide. Further,
operating in solo, I must wonder whether what I do are the musings of a sane man. For over two years
now, I have had nothing with which to compare my works -- and further to compare my experience. This
hasn't bothered me. To a large degree, I have always lived in a different world than that of those around
me. However, never before has it been to such a large degree. I can function in the mainstream world.
Others, however, may find it very difficult to function in mine, assuming that they could relate to it at all.
Yet, there is a sense of magic in the air. Something is about to happen that will unleash a tidal wave of
change. Exactly when or how I know not. But, it is close at hand. I can feel it, HERE, in this very space
that surrounds me now.
The revelations are happening at a greatly increased pace. Everyday brings astonishing new discoveries.
Yet, I am only aware of my own experience. My sense is that there are others out there like me whose
mission is being activated. However, even with my extensive wanderings on the Internet, I have not yet
found like-minded others who have been compelled to document their process in the manner that I have.
Not that such people are not out there. I have no way of knowing one way or the other. If they are out
there, consciousness has not yet found it appropriate for me to make their acquaintance. This confirms my
own assessment that my nature is that of The Hermit and The Man in Search of More.
27 Feb 96
SPIRIT = 19/35/44/62/71/91 = Death Exalted

spirit = 37, Spirit = 55
CONSCIOUSNESS = 175 = 5**2 * 7 = 59. Also, 175 = 2:19(78).

consciousness = 3/9/14/15/18/27/33/36/37/42/47/48/49
FLESH = 6/18/23/42/50
flesh = 6/9/14/15/23 Now, isn't that interesting.
Observations:
228
flesh (23) + Temperance (14) = spirit (37)
flesh (23) + The Moon (18) = Ace of Cups (41)
spirit + The Emperor = Ace of Cups (41)
consciousness (49) + 1 = FLESH (50) (enlightened flesh)

consciousness (49) + 6:The Lovers = Spirit (55)
FLESH + Hierophant = 50 + 5 = Spirit (55)
FLESH + Ace of Cups(Wayne) = 50 + 41 = 91 = SPIRIT (91) = Death Exalted
PURPOSE: To enable SPIRIT to be more fully expressed in FLESH.
SPIRIT(91) + The Lovers Exalted (84) = 175 = CONSCIOUSNESS
23 Exalted (101) + 74:The Benefactor = 175 = CONSCIOUSNESS
flesh = 63 5 18, span = 18:The Moon, center = 527.

This is one short of 528.
-----
I see these numbers before my eyes, and I allow their meaning to be brought forth through my being, but
am I the one whose destiny is being foretold on these pages. Yes, I've always known that I was different,
and that I specifically came to this world and this incarnation to carry out the work of consciousness. But,
is this it? Did I truly come to play so prominent of a role? Or, is this ego coming out again? Yet, my sense
is that I could not make up these words if I tried. They are truly beyond my imagination. Given this,
where do I go from here? Thus far, I have no indication that any other soul in this world is aware of what I
have uncovered in the past 3 years. While I have made much of my material public, there is no feedback
to suggest a deep understanding of any kind. As the Hermit, perhaps such is what I should expect. Yet, I
do not see how to effect change without some connection with others who are to carry out some of the
ideas. There are over 5 billion humans on the planet. Surely there are others here to see that
CONSCIOUSNESS is enfleshed.
27 Feb 96
"we the people" = 55 285 756735
285 = 825 from inside out. This is 528 reversed.
How did I miss the more obvious 55 285 756735
Note that the middle is 575 = 7:55 from the inside out.
28 Feb 96
229
light = 29
Light = 38 VISION
LIGHT = 56 Isn't that interesting!
23 to 29 = flesh to light. How appropriate for enabling spirit to be more fully enfleshed.
165974 = 28856(hex) = 28 856 = 28 429 = 28 24-25-26-27-28-29

165975 = 28857(hex) = 28 857 = 28 329 = 28 23-24-25-26-27-28-29
Well. What do you know. "flesh" to "light" guided by The Man with The World in His Hand
Center of 165975 is 768 = 756 + 12. Also, this is the 67 to 68 transition
Center of 28856 = 869 = the 68 to 69 transition.
230
BEST OF NOTES
MARCH 1996
This is not work.

It is the playful expression of spirit through me.
I benefit in the pleasure of doing, and in what I learn as a result.

So, whence comes abundance?
231
BEST OF NOTES #29
7 Mar 96
Yes, it's the 7th already and this is the first time I've found time to write. Since finding Spirit Chat 10 day
ago, it has consumed the bulk of my free time. However, my sense is that this is exactly what I needed. It's
allowing me to make connections with people that are literally "all over the world".
The 2184 = 888[hex] discovery last week was a major revelation, as was 822-888, a span of 66.
12 Mar 96
Interesting numbers coming up. 7:55 came up on Friday morning, Friday evening, and again on Monday
morning. I've been doing a substantial amount of writing -- either in the form of e-mail correspondence or
in terms of posts on the Spiritual Web Chat at Stonehenge. I'm meeting some interesting people. In fact,
I've probably met more people over the net in two weeks than I have in person over the past few years.
Job situation seems to be settling itself out. I've been told anyway that I have a position in the core
engineering group indefinitely. However, there is a strong inner sense that this is temporary. The spiritual
work calls with a voice that will not be denied any longer. Yet, the bills must be paid ... and it doesn't
seem right for me to charge for the spiritual work. I do what I must do, but I do so because it is what I
love to do. This is not work. It is the playful expression of spirit through me. I benefit in the pleasure of
doing, and in what I learn as a result. So, whence comes abundance?
My focus is clear, to do that which I am moved to do by the force which flows through me. Thy Work be
done, that is what I agreed to on 1 Oct 93. I have no reason nor desire to change that commitment. The
Work must be done. I willingly do all that I can, all that I came to do, even though I am not consciously
aware of exactly what that may be. By now, I trust the process by which consciousness expresses through
me. It is the primary tool I have for facing the "unknown", Rune 25, how appropriate. It seems facing the
"unknown" is a major part of my mission. Hmm, the "unknown" might also be the "void". Curious indeed.
20 Mar 96
She = 1985, 85-91, span of 6, centered on 88. How curious! Interval goes from HE = Chariot Exalted to
91=Death Exalted.
12/20/93 is when Beyond Imagination was born.

The Hanged Man / Judgment / The Devil Exalted
20:21-93, span of 72, center at 20:57. Now isn't that a kick.

20(hex):57(hex) = 32[I AM race, Christ]:87[Hermit Exalted]
Just checked the time. It was 5:28, of course!
By the way, BI = 29 = "light" and 29(hex) = 41 = "Wayne".
232
bi-polar
29-76319 = 2/11 - 7/13/16/17/26 total = 37
Just noticed 26(hex) = 38 = VISION; 11(hex) = 17 = The Star
17 to 38, span of 21:The World, centered at 27-28! WOW!
27 Mar 96
Yes, this is already the 27th. And, yes, I am still on page 3. It's been a very productive month for Beyond
Imagination, just not for these notes. Interesting.
spirit = 179992 = 1/8/17/26/35/37 = King of Cups = my age this passing year! Now isn't that amazing.
Why is it that I hadn't realized this before. Another 12 days and it's on to 38.
Spirit = 19/26/35/44/53/55 = Top right of my "X" reading.
SPIRIT = 19/35/44/62/71/91 = Death Exalted = Bottom Right of my "A" and "X" readings.
-----
Just noticed, I would be 74:The Benefactor in 2032, and 84:The Lovers Exalted in 2042. There is still a
sense that this body will be ashes in 2025. Though, that doesn't necessarily mean my spiritual mission will
be complete at that time -- only that it doesn't continue from physical form. This is NEW. Haven't thought
in these terms before. But, it seems plain as day right now.
ashland = 1183154 = 1/2/10/13/14/19/23

23(hex) = 35 = my birth number.
ASHLAND = 1/20/28/40/41/55/59 = The Aquarian Age

59(hex) = 89 = Justice Exalted, the center of my "X" reading.
ashland => ASHLAND = 23 => 89, a jump of 66! Isn't that a kick!
Transition is 23 => 35 => 59 =>89. This requires jumps of 12, 24, and 30 respectively.
12:Hanged Man, achieved in 1993
24 = "X", also 24(hex) = 36, achieved in 1994
1224 is the 12 triangle.
30:Camelot, also 30(hex) = 48:Man in Search of More.

4/8/96, the 48 triangle, is only 12 days away.
-----
68(hex) = 102: "X" Exalted 57(hex) = 87: The Hermit Exalted 75(hex) = 117: The Knight of Cups Exalted
233
Total = 304: The Empress:The Emperor !!!
234
BEST OF NOTES
APRIL 1996
it is finished.
It Is Finished.
IT IS FINISHED!
The veil is lifted.
235
BEST OF NOTES #30
3 Apr 96
Interesting month last month. I was moved to get all of my writings to my site where they would be
available to the world. I was literally compelled, moved by a force so strong that it would not be resisted.
While I was successful, the end result was only 5 pages of Notes for the month. That's only half of the
output for Apr 94, when I was flying high all month. I did spend a lot of time on Spirit Chat however.
On the commute in this morning, I couldn't get the following out of my mind:
it is finished.
It Is Finished.
IT IS FINISHED!
The veil is lifted.
Don't know what it means yet, but it was quite insistent and intense. Further, the first time it came through
brought a sharp shiver down my spine.
It will be interesting to see what is revealed as the day proceeds. There is indeed a major sense of
completion -- and a feeling that something new and wonderful is about to unfold.
10 Apr 96
Resent letter to the President with cc: to first lady and vice president. Don't think anything will come from
it, but had to do it. I don't care if they like my ideas or not -- I just want someone to read them and
evaluate them for what they are worth. Is that so wrong? Should I not expect that ideas will indeed see
there time of day ... at least when the time is ripe for them?
I'm still in somewhat of a waiting pattern, expecting reality to change dramatically at any moment. And
yet, work appears locked in through 31 Jul with a nice bonus if I stick it out until then. Interesting. After
that, everything is wide open once again. My sense is that all I can do now is sit back and watch it unfold,
doing what I am moved to do, when I am so moved to the best of my abilities and with all my heart and
soul. This is expressing spirit in flesh to its fullest. Such is all that can be expected of anyone!
8/1/96 = 18-96, Moon to Moon Exalted. Isn't that interesting! Span of 78: Tarot Completion, centered at
none other than 57: Three of Swords = ELLIS. 57(hex) = 87 = Hermit Exalted. Now, is that timing or
what?
8/01/96 = 108-196, Camelot Exalted to 9:16 (inside out) = The Hermit: The Tower, span of 88: Infinity
above and below, center at 152 = 1:74 = The Benefactor Exalted.
[NOTE ADDED ON 10/10/97]
It is interesting that this was the last of the Beyond Imagination Notes. My job did end on 7/31/96.
This left me unemployed from 8/01/96 through 11/11/96, the first day of my new job with The
236
Aerospace Corporation in LA. It is particularly curious that I have now been working for the same
Air Force office since Jan 85, for over a dozen years -- as an Air Force officer, as a defense
contractor, and now as non-profit engineering support.
[END OF ADDITION]
237
CONCLUSION
Hopefully, you found the ideas captured in these Best of Notes pages challenging and consciousness
expanding. The intent in sharing them was just that, to allow you insight into another way of looking at
life and experiencing reality. I’m the first to admit that my reality is quite out of the ordinary. In fact, I
take pride that it is so. I wouldn’t have it any other way. As an explorer of consciousness and a
wayshower, this is what I am here to do.
Even though much of the expression is in the first person singular, I believe that it has much more global
applicability. What I can experience, you can experience also. No, not in exactly the same way … but in
a way that is right for you. It is my hope that I have provided sufficient guidance to point you in the right
direction … not so much by telling you where to go, but rather by allowing you to walk in my shoes for
awhile. For most of you, it has probably been some pretty interesting walking, especially all the
machinations with numbers. However, if I’ve kept your attention this long, I have indeed succeeded in
imparting something worthwhile. Only you can judge how valuable this experience and this material has
been to you. I do encourage feedback. It will help me in providing works with even greater utility in the
future.
Notes were the primary mode of expression at Beyond Imagination for over two years … in particular, for
all of 1994 and 1995. This work took you through the best of the first final year of Notes.
I still find it amazing that all of this could flow forth through me. I know that it did. I have the raw Notes
files to prove it, and I remember doing the selections for the Best of Notes pages. Yet, even so, reading
this material again after several years brings home the fact that there is an intelligence far greater than
anything that we are consciously aware of that is associated with each of us. I don’t consider my
conscious self as the source of all of this. Yes, it comes forth through me. And no, it would not exist in
this manner without me. But, that is not sufficient to make it mine. At the very least, it is of spirit as well.
One of my goals as a wayshower is to point the way for you to see and experience reality in new ways.
Numbers may not be your thing. But, something will be. It is a matter of finding it and becoming a
master at it. You are meant to be a master creating a masterpiece of your life.
Be Happy and Create Well!
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!
In Peace, Love, and Light,
Wayne
BEYOND IMAGINATION
http://www.redshift.com/~beyond/mainpage.htm
238
beyond@redshift.com
239
ABOUT BEYOND IMAGINATION
BEYOND IMAGINATION is an entity dedicated to building a better world in which SPIRIT is more
fully expressed in flesh. At the Beyond Imagination site you'll find over three thousand pages of
metaphysical works that have come from SPIRIT through Wayne to you describing a VISION of what we
are endeavoring to create and documenting our progress in achieving our goals of creating a
COMMUNITY where individuals are truly able to be all they can be in a cooperatively interdependent
environment where the real needs of all are met effectively. We are in the process of publishing much of
the Beyond Imagination material that has been created in the past ten years. We hope you enjoy our
works, and that they move you to want to participate so that we can co-create the WORLD in which we
would prefer to live in the Aquarian Age that lies before us.
Other Published Books
Beyond Imagination: Best Passages from 2002 Musings

Beyond Imagination: The Early Works
Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings – Vol I
Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes – Book 1
Planned for Release in 2003
Beyond Imagination: The Search for Center

Beyond Imagination Quotes
Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings – Vol II
240

Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes Book 2

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes Book 2

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Best of Beyond Imagination Notes – Book 2

May 1995 – April 1996

ENJOY! Be Happy and Create Well!

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

Redondo Beach, June 2003

Consciousness is amazing at finding its ways to send signals to us.

BEST OF NOTES #19

[... extensive Machinations with Perfect Numbers]

WOW! Look at these partial sums with total = completion!

License Plate Number = 4V36124.

Interpretation 1: 4436124 = 9:27:11:30 = 6::44::74::44. Now that's an interesting combination!

1996 = 22::60 and 25:46.

[Note added on 3 Feb 97]

I am on a spiritual quest that is taking me to places I had never dreamed

The world has little hold on me.

BEST OF NOTES #20

Thinking about a vocation as Philosopher King led to some quick calculations.

Philosopher King = 78 + 32 = 110 = 1:32 (78) = 1:26(84).

7832 = 1:22:32 (78) = 1:09:20 (84) Quite appropriate. Yes, indeed.

1161 = 13:69 (84) = 14:69 (78)

$20 B 74828021 N G3 G182 264 264 = 3:12 (84) = 3:30 (78)

ATLAN begs to be completed with a TIS = 20 9 19 = 48!

2024 = 8 x 253 = 2 x 2 x 2 x 11 x 23 = 88 x 23 = 22:88 (88)

GOLD = 7 15 12 4 = 38:VISION LION = 12 9 15 14 = 50:Happily Ever After [US Complete]

972 = 6:66 (151) 151 = 1:73 (78)

Li He = elements 3 2 with wts 7 4. 32 and 74 are very important numbers. Interesting.

Buddha = 23 44 81 = 148 = 1:70(78) = 1:64(84) = 1:60(88)

Christ = 38 99 12 = 149 = 1:71(78) = 1:65(84) = 1:61(88)

BUDDHA = 2 21 4 4 8 1 = 40. So that's why 40 is so important!

528 = 6:66 (77) based on my calculation a day or two ago.

MAITREYA = 40 1 9 20 18 5 25 1 = 119 + 40 [BUDDHA] = 159 = 2:03[78] = 1:75[84] = 1:71[88]. Very

The Emperor, The Hermit Camelot, K of Pents . K of Cups

Be nZ = 4 03 = 5:13(78) = 4:67(84) = 4:51(88)

benz = 25 58 = Manganese Cesium, weights = 55 + 140 = 195 = 2:39(78) = 2:27(84) = 2:19(88)

1422 = 6:66 (226) 2:70 2:58 2:50 2584 INTERESTING!

1428 = 6:66 (227) 2:71 2:59 2:51 2590 141414 Triangle

226 = Atomic Wt of Radium = Element 88.

RADIUM = 18 1 4 9 21 13 = 18/19/23/32/53/66, the complement of 22.

Fermium, element 100, with wt = 252 is interesting as well.

252 = 3:18(78) = 2:84(84) = 3:00(84) = 2:76(88).

218 = 2:62 (78) = 2:50 (84) = 2:42 (88) Interesting.

URaNUS = 92 88 9 92 16 = 297 = 3:63 (78) = 3:45 (84) = 3:33 (88)

IAsUS = 53 33 92 16 = 194 = 2:40(77) = 2:38(78) = 2:26(84) = 2:18(88) = 2:16(89)

What makes up AURORA?

97 = 1:20(77) = 1:19(78) = 1:13(84) = 1:09(88) = 1:08(89) = 1:06(91)

102 = 1:25(77) = 1:24(78) = 1:18(84) = 1:14(88) = 1:13(89) = 1:11(91)

925 = 12:01(77) = 11:67(78) = 11:01(84) = 10:45(88) = 10:35(89) Expected more.

I Be also = 53 4 = The Hierophant:Spirit Flying

534 = 6:72(77) = 6:66(78) = 6:30(84) = 6:04(88) = 5:87(89) Quite interesting.

No matter how far out I go,

BEST OF NOTES #21

Spider is Card 43. On page 208, we have:

208 = 2:54(77) = 2:53(78) = 2:40(84) = 2:32(88) = 2:30(89) = 2:26(91)

"When the moon is in the 7th house,

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.

for the characters now playing

I am a messenger, a scribe, of she who sent me.

"There is nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come".

There is no sense that I have to seek anything, or go anywhere to find anything.

"Weave me a peaceful world!" That's as direct an order as one can get.

No matter how far out I go, I am safe,

When I am HERE, there is no space.

No, not NOW, but in a NOW that is to be.

Giving up control. That is one of the hardest things to do in this society.