$1,725,681.

68

VOLUME TWO

11 . 1 4 .1 3

I S S U E 46

"'Tis but a scratch." - The Black Knight

NONE SHALL PASS ! PASS!

Sherri Cooks | Uncle Esel Advises | The Mexican Answers | Colby Gets Last Word

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S / S A N M A R C O S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

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Urbina's

Island Enforcer Press

Est. 1986

WITH Publishers Note: This Tuesday, mythological right to a private before we went to press, a island, that they would simply young man was airlifted from close the whole thing down. Canyon High School to a Ha! Now nobody can use San Antonio area hospital it. See? You outsiders ruined after a fight left him seriously it for everybody. (See Cover) injured. As of press time, the That didnt work either. victim was still being treated for his In response to the situation with injuries. We are updating the story as the Urbinas, visitors came a callin, and, information is released by law enforcement, understanding that private citizens dont have and posting those updates on our Facebook the right to close land they couldnt prove title page at facebook.com/txcitizen. All of us here sincerely hope for a full recovery for the to, went ahead and (GASP) stepped over the chain and caution tape. Once again, an injured student. Islander surfaced on The now-closed Island,

1 WORD
ST
MIKE REYNOLDS
and ordered the visitors to leave or hed call the police. That didnt work, because, frankly, if someone is willing to ignore a homemade closed sign and already knows the police wont arrest them, theyre pretty much already ready to stay put already. The police showed up, talked to everybody, and, once again, did not arrest anybody, write them a ticket, force them to leave, or even issue a warning. Our guess is that The Islanders thought their homemade signage and the chain upped the ante enough to either keep people out or force the police to take more serious action. After doubling-down on a losing bet, its now clear to us that the Islanders have a gambling problem. Tragic. Lets talk about some of the other signs down there. Wait. Before we do that, lets discuss the parties involved. Itll make the sign thing easier to understand. First of all, theres Comal County Water Recreation District #1. Thats a group of homeowners that pay into a fund set up by werent an emergency act of the States legislature for weed and mosquito abatement. Continued on page 6.

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Hey, remember how we said we cover that police understaffing problem for the last two weeks only to have Island hijinks bump the piece? Yeah, well, here we go again.

The Island, Occupied

Last Saturday, the Urbina family decided to visit The Island off the banks of the Landa Park Estates neighborhood. They were told to leave the premises by residents of said neighborhood under threats of calling the police. The Urbinas politely told them to, yes, please do call the police. Oh no. The Islanders werent expecting THAT. So the police were called, and the residents showed them a bunch of paperwork that supposedly proved that The Island is private property. The police werent convinced, and while they sat down and had a conversation with the Urbinas, they did not arrest them, write them a ticket, force them to leave, or even issue a warning. Uh-oh. The Islanders really expecting THAT. The next day, The Islanders decided that if the police werent going to enforce their TXCITIZEN.COM

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The First Annual New Braunfels Jeep Club Chili Bash is this 3 Saturday, the 1 2 16th, from noon till night at Koozies Ice House on River Road. There will be tons of stuff to do! Check out the ad below for more info. Saturday, November 16, from 1pm to 11pm at Rockin R in Gruene. Live music from Charlie Robison, The Hogg Maulies, Jennifer Sullivan and the Wes 5 6 7 Nickson Band, along with food, family fun and auctions. For more info, check out the ad on page 13, or at facebook.com/ FoodTrucks4Freedom. The fifth annual Doggie Carnival is this Saturday, the 16th, from 11 to 3 at Texas Ski Ranch, 6700 N IH35. There will be raffles, prizes & auctions. 9 10 11 Contests include paw art, limbo, peanut-butter-licking & many more. Check out newbraunfelsdogpark.com for more info.

ITS A JEEP THING

! Hot in the Kitchen with Sherri Gallagher

Schiller. Angie served in the Army as a medic. She was here last week sampling my Irish Cream and explained how disappointed she was that the potato pancake line at Wurstfest was so long! So, in honor of both of these proud Vets, I gave them what they wanted and rightfully deserve!

In honor of Veterans Day, I wanted to dedicate a recipe to my father who served in the Armys

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he responded with just a simple red beans & rice. So, I set out to make the best red beans &

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DOGGIE CARNIVAL

Fried Potato Pancakes

4 large russet potatoes, washed, peeled, and coarsely shredded 1 white onion, finely diced 2 eggs cup milk 2 tbls flour Salt & pepper to taste Shred the potatoes and dice the onions, blend and set aside to drain. Mix remaining ingredients and add potatoes and onions. Form small pancakes and place in skillet over sour cream and chives.

Come down to Got Toys at the corner of Mill & Castell streets for Santa pictures on Saturday the 23rd from noon to 3. Bring your own camera to 13 14 15 capture the moment.

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Well get the word out for you! Send the details to calendar@txcitizen.com.
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medium heat and cook until golden brown on each side. Serve with dollop of applesauce or

19

New Orleans Red Beans & Rice

1 white onion, chopped 3 cloves of garlic, chopped 1 green bell pepper, chopped 8 cups of water 1 lbs dry red beans 2 stalks celery, chopped 2 bay leaves 1 tsp Cajun seasoning Small bunch of fresh thyme Dash of Tabasco to taste 1 lbs Andouille or spicy sausage 3 cups cooked rice medium heat until the beans are tender; about 3 hours. You may grill the sausage or just cut into bite size chunks and add to you beans for the last hour. Cook rice as directed on package and serve. Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

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Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.
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Continued from page 3. Then there are the homeowners in general. While the two groups crossover, all claims to The Island come from deeds issued to homeowners, and there has never been any transfer of, well, whatever rights they believe they have, to the District. That means that, per their own arguments of Spanish land grants and what-not, the District does not own The Island. Oops. Comal County Water Recreation District #1 has signs all over the place obstructing public entrances to the water. These signs, according to the City of New Braunfels, were placed without an ordinance, making them non-enforceable, and probably very illegal, as State law provides that the public may enter a river where a street terminates at one. As you can see, the District also misspelled the initials of the District.

243 N. Union Ave 830-629-2662 Like us on

So if the City is correct that these signs were placed without an ordinance, we know, for a fact, that the District is willing to put up illegal signage at public entrances to the Comal River. Credibility = Shot. Here they misspelled Trespassing. Sloppy, sloppy:

So what do we have now? A stalemate, thats what. At this point, one or more of four things will happen. 1) The Islanders will stop calling the police on visitors. 2) The public will tire of going to The Island. 3) The police will stop showing up at The Island. 4) The police will start ticketing and/or arresting people. Once somebody gets arrested for trespassing, (or even, god forbid, TRESSPASSING), this whole thing goes to court. And thats where the fun really begins, because the Islanders will have to prove, with their unwieldy mish-mash of claims and paperwork, that they have an exclusive right to Spring Island. The fact that they are willing to put up illegal signs and chase people out of the water might work against them. I dont know. Just thinking out loud. On paper. After interviewing the police and Urbina family last Saturday, we asked the assembled Islanders if they had a comment for the media. They had no comment beyond We dont see any media here. We then asked if theyd like to file a complaint against us for trespassing on their private island. They all shook their heads in silence. Creepy. Every time we write about this, it gets worse for the Islanders, which is fine with us. But if they were smart they would have let the Urbinas hang out in peace, because calling the police not only attracted more visitors, it emboldened them, got our attention, cost them yet another article, and maybe worst of all, got a ton of people on Facebook very interested in the location of The Island. People that didnt even know it was there keep finding out exactly where it is, because we keep getting excuses to write about it. Heres a map:

Enjoy. \m/
Why stop at three Ss?

Mike Reynolds Publisher/Editor-in-Chief AD SALES 830.358.2493

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UNCLE ESEL
Uncle Esel is on vacation in the Philippines this week in order to get away from the drunken masses that invade New Braunfels for Wurstfest. Please enjoy these vintage letters and Uncle Esel will return just as soon as these people get the heck out of town and the vomit is washed out of the gutters. Dear Doug, Wow, thats some serious editorial type ranting going on there. So to answer your question, politicians at all levels often pass legislation that they do not know, understand or even care about. When the voluminous health care bill was presented, no one had enough time to read it and comprehend the impact, but it still passed. in 1971, Texas Representative Tim Moore put in language in a resolution that thanked Albert de Salvo for his dedication to his work and for being recognized by the state of Massachusetts for his work. Never heard of him? You may know him by his more common moniker, the Boston Strangler. It was a joke which passed, much like some of our recent ordinances. Love, K

ADVICE FROM

are instantly challenged in the courts and in my opinion our civil liberties get trounced on and these politicians just say they dont have a problem with that. Dont they know or understand what they are doing? Fed Up, Douglas
TXCITIZEN.COM

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@txcitizen.com. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.

Brand: BLL/SBL Item #:PLB201310433 Job/Order #: 249290

Ooo ooo Ooo ooo If one day you discover him Broken down Hes lost everything No cars, no fancy clothes To make him who hes not The woman at his side Is all that he has got So I guess what I mean to say, is that its all about the woman we choose that in the end, defines the measure of the man. Happy hunting to you and to Clay. Oooo, ooo. Love, K

Dear Beth, Our elections are run at the state level and not by the federal government, but a few states have reached out to a Spanish company that has an online voting system. Initial testing has shown it to be ineffective and riddled with security issues, so we arent likely to see it any time soon. Perhaps some readers are putting together news stories about this Spanish company and the Robin Williams movie, Man of The Year in which Williams plays a comedian turned would-be Senator after a computer glitch gives him a win. So, not to worry, at least for now, our jokers still get Uncle Esel, elected the old fashioned way, by bussing in I know you turn things into jokes, supporters and giving ballots to dead people but I want a real answer here. Dont our politicians understand what they and their dogs. Love, K pass? I mean, we have laws passed that
Closing Date: 5.26.13 QC: sm

Publication: NB Citizen

Trim: 5.06x11.31 Bleed: none Live: 4.81x11.06

Dear Uncle Esel, I come to you with a question that I have often pontificated. What is the measure of a man? And I dont mean length or height. There seems to be some confliction in the definitions I have been given in the past, such as how much money he has. Some of the greatest men have been broke more than once. What people think of them? Who cares what people think, magic happens when you dont care. Accomplishments? Some of the biggest jerks are very accomplished. Dear Uncle Esel, The amount of people that love them? Is it true the administration has Thats great but is that it? I mean really... bought an Internet voting system What IS the measure of a man? from a foreign company that will Do Tell, be used to run future election for Genuinely Curious the President? Seems just like the government to buy something from Dear Curious One, Well, Ive known many women who a foreign country instead of a US looked for all the traits above in search of their company. Should we be worried measured man, looking for their version of about the security of the election? Thanks, perhaps a Troy Aikman or the like, but I found Beth this song written instead by Clay Aiken:

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COMAL COUNTYS

ASK A MEXICAN!
Dear Mexican: Could it really be even a source to obtain the track. A MEXICAN NEW MEXICAN possible for a terrorist to sneak into the U.S. through the southern border, or is that just more fear-mongoring from the conservatives? NOT CRAZY ABOUT QUDS

By Gustavo Arellano the radio audience you might be able to

WANTED
HESS, JASON CHRISTOPHER
Male 600 240 lbs DOB: 03/27/1975 CHARGE: Motion to revoke for burglary of habitation

help me find the correct title and maybe

WRESTLING

Dear Wabette: The name of the cancin your family played is called Ay Pepito! because thats the memorable chorus of the song (and the girl you mentioned was

Breaking the

Fall

Dear Gabacho: Of course its possible, Marie). The performer was Baby Gaby, part but were really not going to know until we of the Sanchez dynasty of New Mexican find out, right? American officials have gone music headed by the legendary Al Hurricane

CHAVEZ, GERARDO

Male 509 160 lbs DOB: 11/15/1966 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxicated/open alcohol container 3rd or more

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on the record as stating drug cartels have (who once played at one of your humble established ties with groups like Hamas and Mexicans book signings in ABQ). But the Hezbollah yet havent offered conclusive songs real name is Shame and Scandal in proof (and that rumor you heard about Al Qaeda establishing camps in Mexico to the Family, and Gaby most likely covered the version sung by Mexican-American

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train terrorists to look like my To Lencho? artist Trini Lopez. Lopez, in turned, joined Pinche false). But I dont think the cartels are legendary American recording artists like so pendejo to assist terrorists hell-bent on the Stylistics and Johnny Cash in covering destroying America from withinafter all, a song called they already have that market to themselves. Shame and Scandal recorded by ska and reggae titans ranging from the Skatalites to the Wailers (with Peter

TORRES, ROXANNE STELLA

Female 508 180 lbs DOB: 11/25/1986 CHARGE: Failure to appear for theft of property

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Dear Mexican: Some years ago we Tosh in the lead). They, in turn, were giving attended a family reunion in Cuba, New their spin to a calypso classic originally Mexico where the Mexican branch of grabada by Sir Lancelot in the 1940s. And the family put on a skit and they used if you think Mexicans taking inspiration from a recording of a song but it has gone calypso is strange, you obviously dont know missing and we all would love to find the similarly tangled history of Esa Chica

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The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues.This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, November 4, 2013 at 10:05 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

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a source to purchase this song. The Me Vacila (That Chick Teases Me), the family says it was an old 45 rpm record techno-banda favorite by Banda Vallarta but they cant find it now and dont know who the artist was. Its a gas of a song and if youve never heard it before, I would bet you would have a good laugh over it. The song is about a young Mexican boy who falls in love with a girl (cant remember her name.) His daddy tells the boy he cant marry the girl so the boy asks the daddy why. The daddy replies something like Maria is your sister but your Mama dont know. In frustration the boy goes over and cries
Show, a remake of the punta ditty Ella Me Vacila(She Teases Me) by Grupo Kazzabe, itself taken from Lady Teaser by Byron Lee and the Dragonaires, who got his inspiration for the track from the soca standard Teaser by Becket. Back to Baby Gaby: Give him credit for Mexicanizing the song by crooning the lyrics in a Jose Jimenez accent and giving the previously nameless character of the tale the nombre Pepito, proving that there are some New Mexicans

830-515-9129 or 830-632-5627
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to his Mama about the situation and the not afraid of their Mexican roots. song ends with the Mama smirking and telling the son not to worry because Your Daddys not your Daddy but your Daddy dont know. A friend suggested the song might be titled Hey, Pepito but were just not sure. Perhaps in your travels, or over
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Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!

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Treat your body and tastes to a new standard of fun and sophistication! Find the styles you're looking for in clothing, hair and home decor. Indulge your cravings with fine dining, upscale wine and martini bars, a neighborhood pub, gourmet coffee, delectable cupcakes or a fine cigar with lounge service. Challenge your body at our yoga, ballet, and cycling studios. Bring the whole family and visit a new children's bookstore, a yarn and knitting boutique, and maybe take a class at our art studio! We even have church services on Sundays. Stop in anytime or plan a weekend getaway in a room at the inn. Come see what you've been missing in

The Republic Cigar Humidor and Lounge is the place to relish the fine art of smoking. Youll discover a wide variety of fine cigars, pipe tobacco and accessories inside our doors. We also carry the full line of The Art of Shaving. On Saturdays and the first Friday of every month you can come in, pamper yourself with a first-class straight-razor shave, and kick back with a great cigar. Our private lounge offers a luxurious atmosphere with choice amenities, as well as a state-of-the-art audiovisual system. Annual memberships are available as well as one and three-day passes so you can sit, relax and enjoy on your schedule. With Christmas just around the corner, its the perfect time to visit and find the perfect gift for the cigar aficionado in your life!

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Last Word
With Kelly Colby
Mid-Term NJ Trouncing, VA Street Fight
Our latest set of elections was part of an off-year and, therefore mostly boring, but there were two high points that are worth mentioning. The first of these was Chris Christies landslide win over his Democratic opponent what was her name again? (Barbra Buono) The race ended 60 to 39 percent for Christie. This would be an impressive trouncing anywhere, but for a Republican in a deep blue state, its shocking. How was this done? Well, Christies win was in no small part due to his ability to attract voters of all types. Christie, of course, did well with Republicans. He received 93 percent support overall, and exit polling had him doing quite well, the high 80s, with both conservatives and Tea Partiers. He also managed to beat his opponent in some key Democratic constituencies. He carried 57 percent of the womens vote and made inroads with black voters, taking 21 percent. Overall, it appears that Christie managed to garner 32 percent of the Democrat vote. Now, Christies win wasnt a surprise to anyone. He was expected to win, and he was expected to win big. His opponent was weak and received very little support from the party (who likely were unwilling to throw too much money away on a lost cause). Still, Christie will almost certainly be one of the frontrunners for the Republican presidential race of 2016, and a win like this says a lot about him as a candidate in the primaries, all of it good. Christies real problem in getting the Republican nomination will probably be the perception that he is not conservative enough. The RINO label has even been thrown about more than once. He has staked out typically conservative positions on both same-sex marriage and abortion, but many feel he has not been aggressive enough if trying to legislate on either of those positions. In addition, his perhaps poorly timed embrace of Obama may have helped him to facilitate funds for hurricane Sandy relief, but it did little to convince conservatives or the Tea Party that he was the candidate for them. (His handling of hurricane Sandy probably did help with both groups in New Jersey, but it hurt him nationally.) Lastly, he has been a little quick to criticize Tea Partiers and conservatives in their Washington battles, most recently in the shutdown battle. I have to admit, as a Tea Party supporter, I have my concerns about Christie too. I dont TXCITIZEN.COM need him to champion traditional marriage or anti-abortion legislation, but he does seem a bit too establishment for me. I would like to believe that Christie is a political realist, but Im not yet sure. I would like to see him take some strong constitutional stances to win me over. There are lots of options in this regard, and a little might go a long way. Christie has a strangely good-natured irascibility to him that plays well to me, and I think might make him a great national candidate. The second race of some import from the 2013 elections was the Virginia governors race. In this race the Democrat won. Terry McAuliffe beat Ken Cuccinelli, 48-45 percent. Again, McAuliffe was a favorite in the race, but the end result was far closer than most anticipated it would be. The race, as a whole, has a number of implications in future elections. The first of these is that Virginia now has a Democratic governor. Virginia will be a key swing state in 2016, and McAuliffe is a long-time friend of the Clintons. This can only be helpful if Hillary Clinton is the Democratic candidate, as she almost surely will be. Virginia has been getting bluer and bluer over time, its proximity to D.C. meaning plenty of Democratvoting federal workers in the north of the state. The fact that the race was so close is a second factor for Democrats. Cuccinellis popularity truly nose-dived after the government shutdown that was blamed on Republicans in general and the Tea Party in particular. Things quickly turned around, though, after the Obamacare website opened. It appears that Obamacare is worse news for Democratic candidates than anyone had anticipated. Democrats are distancing themselves from President Obama and his healthcare law in advance of the 2014 elections. If Obamacare should continue to be a kerfuffle, expect Democrats to suffer losses and perhaps even lose the Senate. For Republicans, Cuccinellis showing is equally important. Cuccinelli was not the Republican establishments choice. He was made the candidate by a coalition of Tea Party and conservative voters. The Republican Party, seeing that Cuccinelli was an underdog and happy to stick it to those voters intent on bucking the system, severely underfunded Cuccinelli, invested only a third of what they had in the last race for governor. The hope was clearly to offer an I told ya so to the more maverick-y portion of their base. With Cuccinelli coming within three percentage points of winning, that idea has backfired. The Republican Party looks to have thrown away a possible win, and an important one at that. Because of this, a new scapegoat will be needed, but fear not; you can always blame the Libertarians. The Libertarian candidate for governor took six percent of the vote in this race, and if you believe that most of those votes would have otherwise been Republican, it can be said that Libertarian lost the race for Cuccinelli. Thats a big if, though. One thing that should be noted is that both Ron and Rand Paul came out for Cuccinelli against the libertarian candidate. There has been some speculation that the Libertarian candidate, Robert Sarvis, was a spoiler placed in the race by Democrats, and both the Pauls appeared to see Sarvis as somewhat less than libertarian. This undoubtedly helped Cuccinelli with some libertarians, but it wasnt enough to send him over the top. I suppose I could wring my hands over this, but I wont for a couple of reasons. First, while the Pauls are acknowledged superstars with liberty-minded voters, they cant be said to speak for all libertarians after all, both ran and held office as Republicans. I cant speak with certainty about Sarvis origins, but his views dont appear to be completely outside of the realm of libertarian thought. Second, I just dont accept that the Republican candidate should have some sort of right to libertarian votes regardless of how close the race is. It may even be that there is an opportunity here for Republicans. I dont live in Virginia, but I can speak as someone who has libertarian values and might vote for a Republican like Rand Paul or even Ted Cruz. Since the Tea Party and Obama excesses have pushed Libertarians to the Republican Party, Republicans have been far too certain of their hold on our vote. The assumption is that a Democrat is so much worse a choice for liberty that the Republican is the only viable option. For most of us, this just isnt true. We have voted for, and been burned by, Republican candidates before. Its not enough to not be the other guy. Try to remember that you have to earn libertarian votes too. Consider this an open message to the Republican Party as a whole. Sometimes six percent can matter. If you want our vote, work for it.

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You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug. blogspot.com.

Thanks to all who helped make our Tailgate Party a roaring success! A special thanks to Wayne for making it happenBIG, BIG, BIG SCREEN! 15

Prizes for best costumes.

Cowboys & Indians!

Nov 29th Theme Party:

Win a Yeti!
New Braunfels Firefighters Pipes and Drums are raffling off two Yeti coolers (35 and 45 quart) on

December 5, 2013,
at the Fire Museum Wassailfest booth!

and the proceeds go to support our mission of honoring fallen Firefighters, Law Enforcement Officers, EMS and Military Service Members.

Tickets are just $5 each,

Santa at Got Toys!

Bring your camera, your family, and your friends, and join Santa at the Downtown Got Toys on Saturday, November 23, from noon to 3pm!

Photos with

Recently our band has traveled to West, Houston, Dallas and Arizona to honor fallen heroes. As a Non-Profit 501(c)3 we depend on fundraising to make these tributes possible. We appreciate the love and support of our local community in helping us.

830.491.2404 or nbfirepipesdrums@yahoo.com
to purchase your tickets

Please contact

! k c u l d o Go
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830.358.7200 180 W. Mill St. Ste 200

(Across from McAdoos)

PAUL J. SMITH
Attorney at Law
Board Certified in Criminal Law Texas Board of Legal Specialization 651 S. Walnut Suite D #228 New Braunfels, Tx 78130

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367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

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Karaoke Thursday & Sunday DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday

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Monday - Friday 10am to 2pm Saturday /olivesitalianmarket 9am to 5pm

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