Benjamin van Spijck

Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking

workbook

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Contents
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. Foreword..............................................................................................................4 Fear under the microscope...................................................................................6 Getting to know fear of speaking .......................................................................10 Fear of public speaking under the axe ...............................................................15 Stop unhealthy reasoning...................................................................................19 Think of healthy ways of reasoning....................................................................23 Imaginary exposure ...........................................................................................24 Coupling relaxation to speaking situations ........................................................27 Exercises, the power of repetition ......................................................................29 Natural speech-giving with mind mapping .........................................................34 Making a mind map ...........................................................................................37 Achieving Flow with visualization.......................................................................39 Applying visualization ........................................................................................43 Youre there! ......................................................................................................45 Afterword...........................................................................................................46 Glossary .............................................................................................................47

Copyright vanSpijck e-marketing BV, the Netherlands. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the publisher. ISBN/EAN 978-90-78974-01-7 NUR 770 3/49

1. Foreword
For many of us, the fear of public speaking is an everyday reality. Striking up a conversation with a stranger often goes quite well, but having to speak during a meeting is far more difficult. Even the thought of a round of introductions breaks many people into a sweat, and if they have to give a speech, many of them contemplate driving their car into a tree. But this isnt the fear of only a few. American research (Burnley, Cross and Spanos, 1993) shows that more than eight out of ten people suffer, to a greater or lesser degree, from the fear of speaking in public. Four out of ten people place fear of public speaking in the top three of their personal fears; often even above the fear of a terrorist attack or the fear of death. What is it with the fear of public speaking? People are by nature sociable beings. They share their lives with each other. They talk, laugh and cry together. They help each other, teach each other. They make each others lives miserable. Its all so natural. Until the moment one person steps out of the group to address the others. Thats when the tension strikes: the speakers mouth goes dry, he breaks out in red blotches and his hands tremble. And a replacement-tension fills the audience; a tense hope that all will go well. What is the speaker afraid of? That his public will devour him? If that were the case his fear would be justified. But its often the case that the public want only the best for the speaker; so that actually makes the fear ungrounded. Or is the speaker afraid that he will suddenly forget his story? But that doesnt happen when hes talking to friends or colleagues, does it? If he loses the thread then, he makes a joke of it and gets back to the essence. The more you think about it, the more you have to come to the conclusion that fear of speaking in public is unfounded. Thats why psychologists refer to it as an irrational fear. The bad news is that possibly eighty percent of the human race is afraid of something they need not be afraid of. The good news is that an irrational fear can easily be overcome. And thats what were going to do over the next 21 days overcome your fear. Ill tell you now how I personally overcame my fear of public speaking. As far back as I can remember, I was tormented by a fear of talking in public. I can clearly recall my earliest memory, when I was ten years old and had to stand in front of the class. Through the years my fear of speaking became a constant in my life. I mastered the avoidance of situations in which the spotlight would be on me. I made sure I was ill that day, I lied, hid behind others and, more than once, I even considered causing an accident while on my way to a meeting just so I wouldnt have to speak in front of others. So, at the age of thirty-five, I decided it was time to overcome my fear of speaking in public. I started by taking a presentation training workshop given by a reputable communications adviser. She taught me how to build up an effective presentation, but unfortunately did nothing to reduce my fear of public speaking. I then found a coach online who had developed a unique method for not only dealing with the fear of public speaking, but other phobias as well. I first read his book and, enthusiastic about the
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promises made in it, I took part in his training course. But unfortunately, this, too, did not help me get rid of my fear. I did, however, become more and more convinced that I absolutely wanted to overcome my fear of public speaking and that it must be possible to do so. I started to understand that the fear of public speaking is a lie, an irrational fear. After all, why be scared of speaking in front of an audience that is made up of fellow human beings who often only want the best for you? Why be afraid to talk to groups when talking to individuals is something you do with pleasure day in, day out? Why act as if talking in front of a group is some kind of major performance? It really is nothing more and nothing less than a meeting with other people during which information is exchanged. Why was I allowing that feeling of nervousness to reach panic proportions? Why shouldnt I be able to amplify the joy and energy I normally get from talking to others when talking to a group? If that were possible, then speaking in public would no longer lead to panic. It could actually be fun! With this motivation in mind, I started looking for answers. I studied the scientific background of the fear of speaking and other (social) phobias. I talked to psychologists and trainers. I delved into information about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). I began to understand what the fear of public speaking is all about and discovered why expensive workshops and books often do little to overcome it. With all the knowledge I had gained, I developed a training programme for my own personal use. And it worked. I succeeded in exposing the lie behind my fear of speaking. And by doing all the exercises I had developed, I completely overcame my fear. Now I can speak freely, comfortably and with pleasure. And very soon you will also experience that wonderful feeling of freedom. It is now your turn to say goodbye to your fear of public speaking. Believe me, in 21 days you will be speaking confidently and comfortably, just like me. Enjoy the course!

Benjamin van Spijck. First some important words of warning. If you suffer greatly from a phobia, or if you suffer from several phobias, seek advice from your doctor before starting this programme. If you suffer from, or have suffered from breathing problems, hyperventilation, a heart condition, muscle problems or psychological symptoms, seek advice from your doctor before starting this programme. Following this method and doing these exercises could worsen symptoms or conditions. You follow this programme at your own risk.

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2. Fear under the microscope

We cant live without fear. Fear is a fact and a very natural reaction to a threatening situation. From the beginning, fear, just like pain, has been an alarm signal of great importance for the survival of the human race. Ingrained and acquired fears Fears with which we naturally react to dangerous situations or objects are ingrained in human beings. Babies display a shock reaction when they hear a loud noise, and we very quickly realize that it would be foolish to dive into an abyss unprotected. But there are many fears that we acquire. A well-known experiment that falls within this framework is that of the psychologist John B. Watson who taught a child of less than a year old to be afraid of white mice. He did this by allowing the boy, Little Albert, to play with white mice, and every time the boy played with the mice, Watson made a loud noise behind him. After doing this only a few times, Little Albert was already afraid of white mice, even when the noise was no longer being made. Fear of loud noise was already ingrained in the boys survival system; fear of white mice was acquired. Real and irrational fears Both ingrained and acquired fears can be real, meaning that you are afraid of something that presents actual danger. But fear can also be irrational: being afraid of something that does not present danger. Even a real fear can take on irrational proportions: i.e. when you react to something quite harmless with the same intensity that you would if twenty-five hooligans were chasing you down a dead-end alley. The lack of a real threat therefore differentiates irrational fears from normal feelings of fear. The symptoms are the same in both cases: palpitation, dry mouth, an oppressed feeling, nervous tension, irritability, restlessness, increased muscle tension or sleeping and concentration problems. Anxiety disorder Real fear is therefore useful because it keeps us away from dangerous situations. Many people are able to live quite well even with irrational fears, but problems arise when the irrational fear takes on such proportions that people are hindered from functioning normally. In cases like these, psychologists speak of an anxiety disorder or a phobia. Many people suffer from a social phobia. Actually, this is a severe form of shyness; the fear of losing face with other people. As well as the fear of speaking in public, fear of telephoning, fear of eating out and fear of blushing or trembling also fall into the category of social phobia. Another group of frequently occurring fears is the fear of situations. People who suffer from this often have a persistent fear of things like water, heights, enclosed spaces, speed, flying, and the like. A third group of frequently occurring fears is the fear of animals, and all sorts of other fears such as the fear of public spaces, and fears of blood, pain and illness. If someone suffers from one, or a few, of the mentioned phobias, the impact on their life is often manageable. Instead of seeking help, they often choose to avoid the fearful situation. However, it is often the case that people suffer from more than one or a few fears. If they choose not to seek help but avoid all fearful situations, it almost certainly leads to social isolation.
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This programme has been written in order to offer help to people who wish to overcome their fear of public speaking. It appears that this method has also proved successful in overcoming other social phobias. And thats logical. The same twisted thoughts lie at the root of the various social phobias, and it is these twisted thoughts that we are going to unmask in the coming weeks. The exercises in this book are also perfectly suited to overcoming irrational fears that do not fall into the social phobia category. But, if you suffer greatly from a phobia, or several phobias, then I seriously advise you to seek professional help; in the first place from your doctor. In the following exercises, we put your fears under the microscope. In the first exercise you gain insight into the fears you have and the extent to which you have them. In the second exercise you get a picture of the characteristics of your major fears. This insight into your fears is the first step to overcoming them.

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Day 1 - exercise 1 insight into your fears This is a list of frequently occurring fears. Indicate by ticking the boxes to what degree you experience fear. Enclosed spaces Deep water Talking to a group Illness High speed Terrorism Aggression Dogs Telephoning Lightning Fire Blood Death Travel by plane Public places Heights Driving Arguments Being alone Snakes Blushing Mice Crowds Having to succeed Natural disasters Panic attacks Bees and wasps Death of a loved one . .
no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear no fear very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful very fearful

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Day 1 - exercise 2 personal fears Top 5 Take the list of fears from the previous exercise and determine your personal Top 5. Write these in the first column below. Begin with your biggest fear at position 1. Then for each of your Top 5 fears, determine whether or not you think the fear and the degree of fear you experience are real or irrational. A fear is real for you if it is caused by something that actually presents a threat or danger. And the degree of fear is real for you if it is logically proportionate to the degree of danger you are in. Conversely this means that a fear is irrational if it is caused by something that actually presents no danger to you. The degree of fear is irrational if you very fearfully react to something that actually presents relatively little danger.

Personal fears Top 5 Fear 1. .... 2. .... 3. .... 4. .... 5. .... real real real real real irrational irrational irrational irrational irrational .

Is talking to a group in your Top 5? Wherever it is, by using this method you will overcome your fear of public speaking in 21 days. And if you suffer from other irrational fears, then it is possible that these will also lessen in intensity during the coming weeks. One thing is certain, as soon as you speak confidently and comfortably you will be greatly motivated to work on any remaining irrational fears. You can use the theory and exercises in this book for those fears, too.

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3. Getting to know fear of speaking

Eight out of ten people suffer, to a greater or lesser degree, from the fear of speaking in public and this fear can be found in all age groups. Men and women suffer to an equal extent. The fear of public speaking is a persistent fear of critical judgement from others. Actually, it is fear of making ourselves look ridiculous. The fear of public speaking is a social phobia that comes in various kinds and to varying degrees. Many people have trouble speaking to large groups. Others particularly experience fear during a one-to-one conversation. And there are still others who find it difficult to remain calm while talking to superiors. Also, many people are terrified when they have to speak in situations on which something depends, like interviews and oral exams. The fear of public speaking is also referred to as an anticipation fear, which means that the fearful person anticipates that speaking will lead to something awful like public failure or a black-out. He then anticipates avoiding the situation. For the fearful person, this seems to be the best solution. What he doesnt realise is that by avoiding such situations, the fear not only remains, it grows. Opinions differ about the precise cause of public-speaking fear, although there are three groups of causes that often play a part in the creation and persistence of the fear. These groups are: lack of knowledge or skills, bad experiences and negative thought. Lack of knowledge or skills For people who dont know how to give a speech, the very prospect of having to do so can make them fearful. And fear of failure can strike those who have to give a speech on a subject they know little about. Fear that is based on a lack of knowledge or skills is, in general, quite easy to resolve. The level of knowledge can be raised by a little study of the subject, and the necessary presentation skills can be gained by following a presentation training course. If someone with a lack of knowledge or skills does give a presentation, it can indeed result in a bad experience. Bad experiences Bad experiences lie at the root of many peoples fear of public speaking. That could have already begun in early childhood. Many small children have bad speaking experiences because others dont really listen to what they have to say. Being laughed at during a talk at school is a bad experience. Repeatedly receiving negative feedback from colleagues or boss about your presentations is a bad experience. Bad experiences lead to negative thought: it didnt go well then, so it wont go well next time, either. That is the thought pattern that hinders good preparation and strengthens the fear of speaking in public. You cant undo bad experience, but you can do something about the negative thoughts bad experiences have produced.

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Negative thought Negative thoughts are far and away the most important cause of the fear of public speaking. Negative thoughts are thoughts like: if I have to give a presentation, Ill certainly be terrified and everyone will think Im an idiot or theyll be bound to find my presentation boring and think Im stupid. The source of negative thoughts is not always clear, although it is accepted that in many cases they spring from bad experiences. Negative thought leads to an avoidance of situations in which public speaking is necessary. Overcoming fear of public speaking resulting from negative thought is the essence of this training programme. Fear of public speaking is unnatural, as are other social phobias. People are sociable beings by nature; they depend on each other and most of them enjoy that. So, people with a social phobia are afraid of something that, by nature, they should enjoy. You probably know the inner conflict: on the one hand the dream of speaking confidently and comfortably, and on the other the fear of actually having to speak. The following exercise will give you insight into how your fear of public speaking relates to your wish to speak confidently and comfortably in public. Day 3 - exercise 1 test fear and pleasure in public speaking Answer the following questions by indicating to what extent you agree with the statements. Dont think about it for too long; go with your first thought. 1. I feel pleasantly excited when I give a speech. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 2. When I give a speech, I am afraid Ill have a panic attack. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 3. I say as little as possible when Im in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 4. In general, I feel comfortable taking part in a group conversation. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 5. I enjoy taking part in group conversations. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 6. When I talk to a group, Im afraid Ill make myself look ridiculous. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 7. If I say something in a group, I say it as briefly as possible. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 8. I believe that its possible for me to feel relaxed when giving a speech. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 9. When giving a speech, I try to make contact with my audience. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree

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10. I feel afraid when speaking in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 11. I am uncomfortable speaking to strangers. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 12. In general, I can say what I want to when speaking in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 13. I enjoy speaking in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 14. When giving a presentation, Im afraid Ill make mistakes. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 15. I am extremely uncomfortable speaking in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 16. I feel fairly calm when speaking in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 17. I can easily express my opinions. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 18. Im afraid and nervous if I have to give a speech. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 19. It would be great if I never had to speak in public again. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 20. I am confident in my attitude and behaviour in a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 21. Speaking in a group gives me a sense of satisfaction. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 22. When I give a presentation, Im afraid they can see that Im nervous. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 23. My audience will probably find what I have to tell them boring. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree 24. I can speak to a group. (1) totally agree (2) agree (3) dont know (4) disagree (5) totally disagree

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Calculate your own personal scores Extent of public-speaking pleasure Start with 24, add to it the values of the answers to questions 3, 7, 11, 15, 19, 23 then deduct the values of answers to questions 1, 5, 9, 13, 17 en 21. My score is

Extent of public-speaking fear Start with 24, add to it the values of the answers to questions 4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24 then deduct the values of answers to questions 2, 6, 10, 14, 18 en 22. My score is

If your extent of public-speaking fear score is 24 or lower, then you often accept this fear as controllable. But you dont have to learn to live with it. If you scored higher than 24, then your fear of public speaking probably hinders your daily functioning. See this as an extra stimulus for overcoming your fear in the coming weeks. If your extent of public-speaking pleasure score is lower than 24, then you dont enjoy being in the spot-light. Ask yourself why. Is it because of your fear? If it is, let this be your motivation for attacking the fear. If it isnt, then its going to be difficult to remain motivated over the coming weeks. Think of ways to motivate yourself to continue following the daily programme. You can use the following exercise for that. If you scored higher than 24, then you actually take pleasure in speaking in a group. But this pleasure can go hand in hand with the fear of speaking, and when it does, it causes frustration. If that is the case with you, understand that the wish to speak confidently and comfortably in groups is the perfect basis for overcoming your fear.

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A promise to yourself Do you dream of speaking confidently and comfortably in public? Or speaking with pleasure? Or explaining your standpoint with enthusiasm? Or remaining calm if you are forced to the front? And if you could speak confidently and comfortably, what would you do with your new-found freedom? Start going to parties again? Do that voluntary work youve been planning to do for so long? Would you finally have the courage to apply for that job? Many people with public-speaking fear deny themselves a great deal by avoiding situations that evoke fear. But that means that there are so many possibilities, once the fear has been conquered. What will you do with your new freedom? Day 2 - exercise 2 a promise to myself Think about what you will do when you have overcome your fear of public speaking at the end of this programme. Which possibilities will you take advantage of? Which goals will you set yourself? Goal 1: .. . Goal 2: .. . Goal 3: .. . Now, with these goals in mind, make yourself a promise to persevere during the coming weeks and overcome your fear of public speaking. Say, for example, in your own words: I am prepared to do everything necessary to overcome my fear of public speaking. Or: I will do the exercises every day for three weeks so that I will then be able to speak confidently and comfortably. Formulate your promise positively! A promise to myself: . ..... Just imagine; no more fear of speaking in public. In a few months, confident and comfortable speaking will be normal for you; as it should be. And yet, if you have struggled with this fear for a long time, overcoming it will most certainly be worth celebrating. Dont let the victory pass uncelebrated. What will you do when youve completed the programme? Go out to dinner with your partner? Throw a party for your friends? Buy yourself something expensive? Donate a large amount to charity? Whatever you do, your victory must be celebrated! On day 21 I will celebrate overcoming my fear by: .

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4. Fear of public speaking under the axe

Youve managed to get a good picture of your fear over the last two days. You have also discovered how your fear relates to the pleasure you have in speaking. And you have written down everything you are going to do with the freedom living without fear of public speaking will offer you. It is high time, therefore, to attack your fear. Hanging on to fear by avoiding situations First we are going to return to Little Albert and his acquired, irrational fear of white mice. That fear was acquired because it was coupled to a loud noise. The fear was irrational because the white mice presented no danger. In that way, it is comparable to fear of public speaking. You acquired your fear in the past, maybe by not being taken seriously as a child. Or by being laughed at or teased, or, for one reason or another, you began to believe that what you had to say wasnt worth saying. And that is why the fear symptoms with which you react to public speaking are out of proportion. Speaking in public is actually just as harmless as playing with white mice. You could be wondering why irrational fears dont disappear as quickly as they appear. Little Albert probably reached an age at which he asked himself why he was afraid of something as insignificant as a white mouse. He probably saw others allowing small mice to walk up their arms without any reservations. And he might have sought advice from experts who would have confirmed that white mice are harmless. You could also have discovered long ago that speaking in public is harmless, and that it is totally unwarranted to react with a thumping heart, red blotches and a dry mouth. But it doesnt work like that, unfortunately. After the first learning experience which convinces us that a situation or an object is something to fear, we continue, subconsciously, to strengthen that fear. We do this by avoiding situations that could evoke the fear. Little Albert probably avoided being anywhere near white mice (and maybe he soon began avoiding all rodents). Some people walk up twelve flights of stairs rather than take the lift. Others avoid parks where dogs are taken for walks. Maybe you hide behind a colleague if a presentation has to be given. It feels good to avoid a fearful situation. We actually receive a reward for our avoidance behaviour: less fear. But this rewarding of negative behaviour preserves the fear and helps it grow. In this programme, we are going to use a few useful psychotherapy tools to break this vicious circle: cognitive restructuring and imaginary exposure.

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Cognitive restructuring Cognitive restructuring is a technique used in cognitive therapy, one of the larger movements in psychotherapy. Cognitive therapy is a form of therapy that is based on the idea that psychological symptoms or problems stem from the way in which people select and process information. Cognitive restructuring is based on the fact that you dont so much react to a situation itself with fear, but to the way in which you interpret that situation. In other words, to a large extent you yourself define whether or not you see something as a problem, and how intense that problem is for you. That defining happens in a fraction of a second and is often based on a whole complex of twisted ideas. With cognitive restructuring, you learn to replace twisted ideas with realistic, positive thoughts: positive affirmation. You will be doing exercises that will challenge you to correct irrational thought. Through insight and practise, you will learn to understand that your fear is not a rational reaction to (the thought of) public speaking. And just that understanding will give you a great feeling that your fear is diminishing. And then youll ready for the next step. Imaginary exposure The next step is imaginary exposure. It is a technique used in behavioural therapy, a second important movement in psychotherapy. The basic principle of behavioural therapy is that undesired behaviour is learned and can, therefore, be unlearned. With imaginary exposure, you will expose yourself to situations that evoke fear, not in reality but in imagination, in the safety of your own home. You begin with a situation that is the least fearful and gradually, when youre ready, build up to situations that terrify you. By breaking through the avoidance, your fear will gradually decrease and you will become used to what are for you very difficult situations. As your fear decreases, the desire to try speaking in public will grow, which is something that, until now, you have often avoided. You will, therefore, have to become familiar with a technique that will help you tell a story or give a presentation in a natural way. Mind mapping is such a technique. Mind mapping Mind mapping is a way of organising and recording information that well suits the human brain. With mind mapping, information is not linearly stored, as we are used to, but is stored in a logically structured and, as much as possible, visual manner. Neurologists agree that this is a better way of clearly organising and remembering information. By making a mind map, the presentation is actually recorded as a film in your brain. During the giving of a presentation, you will be able to link outlines and details in a very natural way. You will be able to give a presentation confidently from memory because you know that the information has been stored in an effective manner.

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Visualization Visualization is an important part of the psychological training of top-class sportsmen. They prepare themselves mentally for a match or competition with this technique. Before the competition, they repeatedly visualize the event, and in that visualization they see themselves performing well. They mentally practise an explosive start that immediately puts them in the lead. They imagine the forceful punches they will deliver. They feel the skilful goals they will score and they enjoy the crowds cheering. By doing this they build healthy, positive tension in their minds. In addition, they mentally work on their skills by frequent repetition. By applying this technique to the mental preparation of presentations you will learn to build positive tension under which you will be able to perform optimally. So, from this moment onwards, no more crippling stress but measured, positive tension that will better help you to perform. And, with visualization, you will learn to construct your routine so that during the presentation you will have time and energy for interaction with your audience. Do it! With the help of the above mentioned techniques, you can overcome your fear of public speaking in the safety of your own home. You will learn how to speak from memory and give presentations in a natural way. When you reach this point, then you will be ready to give your first presentation confidently, free of public-speaking fear. The first presentation should, preferably, be given to a trusted group of between five and ten people. After that, grab as many opportunities as possible to speak in public: at work, with friends, etc. Keep a note of what goes well, ask for feedback and work on your technique. In this way, your skills will increase and your confidence will grow. The vicious circle of fear has been broken; it has finally made place for an upward spiral of peace, pleasure and confidence.

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Day 3 - exercise yoga exercise full breathing In this programme you will learn to react in a pleasant way to having to give a speech, or even the thought of having to do so. At the moment you react with fear symptoms like blushing and trembling. Soon you will react calmly and in a controlled manner. In a number of exercises you will learn how to call upon that feeling of relaxation. Today you will learn full breathing. This breathing technique is the basis of all the yoga breathing ever described. By breathing fully, body and mind find rest. All cells in the lungs are supplied with oxygen and therefore the oxygen supply to the muscles and to the brain is increased. This gives rise to a feeling of peace and calm combined with a feeling of strength and concentration: the ideal combination for giving a speech. If you suffer from breathing problems, hyperventilation or a heart condition, consult your doctor before starting full breathing exercises. Such conscious breathing could worsen symptoms or conditions. Full breathing Find a quiet place where you wont be disturbed. Sit in an upright, relaxed position with your back as straight as possible. Breathe calmly and evenly through your nose: - allow the collarbone and midriff to drop: this makes the stomach expand and oxygen automatically flows into the lower lungs. Allow the air to flow out naturally; - then expand the ribcage and chest in a smooth motion so that space is made there and oxygen fills the middle of the lungs; - in the same smooth motion, gently lift the shoulders and collarbone so that oxygen fills the upper lungs. Hold your breath and smile. Then, in one flowing movement, breathe out calmly and evenly through the nose: pull in the stomach and gently lift midriff and collarbone; pull in ribs and chest and; allow the shoulders to drop.

Breathe in this way for five minutes. Try to do it as smoothly as possible. Allow the breath to flow naturally in and out by creating then reducing space. At the end of the exercise, rest for a few minutes by lying on your back with your eyes lightly closed and breathe calmly. This breathing exercise might be a bit difficult at first; the movements may demand a lot of concentration and may not yet be smooth and flowing. But after having done this exercise a few times, you will see that it is actually very natural and automatic. It becomes second nature and you will always, wherever you are, be able to call upon that peace and calm that is coupled with strength and concentration.

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5. Stop unhealthy reasoning

Your fear is based on illogical, twisted thoughts. Yes; its not that speech that scares you but the string of negative thoughts that you have allowed yourself to acquire. One of the originators of this insight was the cognitive psychologist Albert Ellis. He discovered that people are not so much confused by events themselves but by the manner in which they interpret the events. In other words, to a large extent people themselves determine how intense problems are for them. So, if someone wants to change something unpleasant, he can best begin by changing his own way of thinking. An example: Imagine Ive been asked to give a presentation for a new client and it totally stresses me out: palpitations, panic, thoughts of escape. I assume my fear is caused by the fact that I have to give the presentation. In reality, my fear is caused by the following reasoning: I must deliver a perfect presentation for the new client. Oh no! Thats bound to go completely wrong and my boss will be there and hell see that Im useless. And thats true; I am utterly unsuitable for this job. What can I do now? Help! You can see that theres something wrong with this reasoning. Why would the presentation have to be perfect? And even if a few things didnt go as well as others, why would the whole thing be completely wrong? Its true that Im not perfect, but the idea that Im unsuitable or useless is rubbish. Do you see whats happening? It is not the situation that instils fear in me, its my own illogical reasoning with which I interpret the situation. Im entitled to feel a little stressed if Im asked to give a presentation, but it is absurd that that should lead to the conclusion that Im useless. Physical and emotional reactions to fear are therefore not a result of the situation itself. These reactions exist because we see the situation through glasses of rational and irrational thoughts. That is why it is pointless to avoid situations. Avoiding presentations or hiding behind an impressive PowerPoint presentation will not rid you of the fear. No, it is time to clean those glasses so you will be able to reason in a healthy manner. In the following exercises you will attack your irrational reasoning. That doesnt mean that you will learn to drown out or eradicate your negative thoughts, but that you will bring them back to a realistic level. Of course you are not perfect, but who expects you to be? And yes, you are a bit stressed about that presentation, but that doesnt mean that youll clam up or black-out. And of course something could go wrong during the presentation, but that certainly doesnt mean you are useless.

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Day 4 - exercise 1 cognitive restructuring 1 You start with an exercise in which you map out which fears and worrying thoughts you have with regard to speaking in public. Step 1: think of three situations with regard to speaking in public that you might be confronted with and that evoke intense feelings of fear. For instance: Giving a presentation to the management of a new client in which you have to explain the advantages of your organisation. Giving a speech at your best friends wedding. A round of introductions at the beginning of a training day in which you and your colleagues are taking part. Take your time. Think of personal and work related situations in which you could be asked on stage. Situation 1: .. Situation 2: .. Situation 3: .. Step 2: Choose the most fearful of these three and place a cross beside it. Now concentrate on that situation. Try to put yourself in that situation. Step 3: If you were able to put yourself in that most fearful situation, make a list of as many fears and worrying thoughts that you had. For example: It will be a disaster if I look nervous. Everyone will think Im an idiot. I have to appear intelligent. Only then will I be taken seriously. Im so afraid that Ill have a black-out and forget everything. They probably think my presentation is boring and that Im stupid. Soon theyll ask a question to which I wont know the answer. Why am I doing this? If youre not a good speaker, you shouldnt give a speech. It will probably go really wrong this time and then Ill never dare speak in public again. How could I justify that in my job? When I feel myself getting nervous, I know for sure that my presentation will be rubbish. Im afraid Ill have a panic attack and that Ill still have to completely finish the presentation. When will I ever overcome this fear of speaking in public? I should just be able to do this. Take your time be thorough. Write the most fearful and worrying thoughts on the top line. Keep the second and third lines empty for the time being. Thought 1: .. .. ..

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Thought 2: .. .. .. Thought 3: .. .. .. Thought 4: .. .. .. Thought 5: .. .. .. Thought 6: .. .. .. Thought 7: .. .. .. Thought 8: .. .. .. Thought 9: .. .. .. Thought 10: .. ..
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Step 4: You have seen that fear of public speaking is not the result of the situation itself, so the situation you named in step 2 is not in itself fearful. Many other people would not react with fear to the same situation. Its those glasses of illogical and irrational thoughts through which you view the situation that cause your cold sweats and panic. Examples of illogical and irrational thoughts that cause fear: I have to be perfect and appear intelligent. Everyone has to like me. To be able to give a good speech, I must be completely relaxed. Speaking in public is a top-sport for which you need to be in top condition. Everyone observes me closely and judges me when I speak. Someone of my status or with my job shouldnt be afraid of speaking in public. Giving a speech is dreadful. You should only speak in public if you are good at it. A negative reaction to my speech would be a disaster. Everyone in the audience has to look interested. One small mistake will ruin the whole presentation. Now take the list of fearful and worrying thoughts that you compiled in step 3 and write on every second line, per thought, the illogical and irrational elements that lie at the root of the thought. Day 4 - exercise 2 yoga exercise full breathing Now do the full breathing that you learned yesterday for five minutes.

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6. Think of healthy ways of reasoning

I am curious as to how you experienced yesterdays exercises. It is often a great eyeopener when people realize that they have made themselves afraid by their own irrational reasoning. Today you are going to replace that illogical, fearful reasoning with rational, positive affirmation. From a rational point of view, giving a speech is imparting information to a gathering of people. Most people enjoy meeting other people. People are sociable beings. Total isolation is reserved for very few, and an ideal for even fewer. The imparting of information is also something that man does from the beginning. Even small babies communicate in their own way, and a three-year old child never stops asking questions. Many people enjoy sharing their opinions with others; opposing views often lead to ones own standpoint being more forcefully and enthusiastically put forward. And approval and compliments affirm the speaker in his own ability. Speaking to people is natural behaviour that makes you happy. No more and no less. Day 5 - exercise 1 cognitive restructuring 2 Take your list of fearful and worrying thoughts and replace the irrational thoughts with positive affirmations. For example: It will be a disaster if people see Im nervous. My public consists of fellow human beings. They want only the best for me. Im not a good speaker so I shouldnt speak in public. Speaking in public is not some sort of blown-up performance; it is a meeting of people and an imparting of information. I do that every day. I enjoy it and it energizes me. The whole presentation will be effected if I start shaking or have difficulty swallowing. Tension is normal; its a sign Im alive. But I dont have to exaggerate the nervousness the pleasure I get from speaking to people is far greater and more deserving of emphasis. When will I ever overcome my fear of public speaking? Tension is normal and useful. Im very good at speaking enthusiastically. Some tension helps with that. I dont have to be perfect. Whats wrong with me? Why am I still seeking approval? I usually get positive feedback on my ideas, and thats nice. And Im always ready to hear other opinions. Im not afraid to be vulnerable and I love new ideas. I should be able to speak in public. I can speak in public! I love enthusiastic communication with people! I dont have to make the nervousness more important that the pleasure I get from speaking to people. Now go back to the list of fears and irrational thoughts that you compiled yesterday and, on every third line, place the positive affirmation that you will follow from now on. Day 5 - exercise 2 Now do full breathing for five minutes. yoga exercise full breathing

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7. Imaginary exposure
Over the last few days you have discovered how you scare yourself with illogical reasoning, and you have replaced the illogical reasoning that evokes fear, with real positive affirmations. Then the question is: What now? The fear is there and wont disappear just because you know how it came into being. Everyone knows about the Pavlov dogs that started drooling the moment they heard a little bell. If you ring a bell then give a dog something tasty to eat often enough, eventually he will react to the bell in the same way he would to being offered a bowl of dog food; namely drooling and wagging his tail. This phenomenon is called conditioned reflex. Conditioned reflex is a deep-rooted acquired reaction to an event or stimulus. This conditioned reflex is also in effect in the fear of public speaking. For years you have been associating speaking in public with all sorts of negative, irrational thoughts. These thoughts result in cold sweats, a dry mouth, palpitations, the urge to escape, and so on. You dont even need the irrational thoughts anymore in order to have the various fear reactions, Moreover, you now experience fear reactions with anything that makes you even think about public speaking. Many people have told me that they feel their stomachs tighten just by hearing the word speech. This conditioned reflex creates a vicious circle that the American psychologist Thorndike called law of effect. This law, simply stated, says behaviour is strengthened if it is followed by a pleasant reaction or reward, and, conversely, behaviour weakens if followed by an unpleasant reaction or punishment. People with public-speaking fear experience unpleasant emotional and physical reactions when confronted with anything to do with public speaking. Because of this punishment, they try to avoid situations in which they have to give a speech, and situations in which they may be asked to give a speech. This avoidance is then rewarded with less fear. Every time you reward a feeling of fear with avoidance, that avoidance becomes more pleasant. But the fear of the situation will just keep on getting stronger. This vicious circle also works the other way round, fortunately. The more speaking in public is rewarded positively, the more pleasant it will feel. Because of this pleasant rewarding, you will more frequently seek out situations in which to address people. This stimulates a feeling of victory, and you will probably receive compliments and reactions praising your performance which will further strengthen your pleasure in speaking in public. The exercise for reversing the vicious circle can, luckily, be done in the privacy of your own home. Psychotherapists have developed a technique called imaginary exposure. With this technique you imagine all the steps before, during and after a presentation. These steps are still coupled with feelings of fear, but you are going to break this coupling and replace it with a pleasant feeling of well-being. Repetition of this exercise will gradually diminish your fear until it has totally disappeared.

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Day 6 - exercise progressive muscle relaxation With imaginary exposure you call up a feeling of relaxation that you couple with the thought of a situation that causes you fear. In a few days you will try that out for the first time. Today you will learn a technique that you need for that, a technique in which you consciously reach a state of complete relaxation: Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). PMR is a much-used technique that was originally developed by Doctor Edmund Jacobson (1888 - 1983) If you suffer from serious physical complaints, back or muscle problems, consult your doctor before starting PMR. The conscious relaxation of the different muscle groups could worsen symptoms or complaints The process of Progressive Muscle Relaxation uses a muscle physiology principle. That principle states that a muscle, after it has been tensed, reaches a relaxation that is deeper than it had been before the tensing. With PMR you tense isolated muscle groups in order to then relax them. Make a fist with your right hand and clench it tight. You can feel the muscle tension increase in your hand and lower arm until it becomes unpleasant. After about ten seconds, unclench your fist, open your hand and feel the difference. The muscle tension flows away, and more, the muscle is totally relaxed. By individually tensing then relaxing all the muscle groups, you will reach a state of complete relaxation. This is because of a domino-effect of the relaxation of body and mind. That domino-effect begins with total muscle relaxation. Relaxed muscles need less oxygen so breathing automatically becomes slower and deeper. The heart has to supply less oxygen and therefore both heartbeat and blood pressure drop. Blood pressure in the whole body becomes more even; hands and feet become warmer and stomach and intestines feel good. This relaxation of the body provides a general feeling of well-being. You feel calm and alert. By practising PMR regularly you will learn to recognise the difference between a tensed muscle and a completely relaxed muscle. And if muscle tension occurs, as a result of fear for example, you can respond by relaxing the muscle. The domino-effect will then ensure that this muscle relaxation leads to deep relaxation of body and mind. This relaxation can be evoked in any situation. Progressive muscle relaxation Find a quiet place where you wont be disturbed. Sit in an upright, relaxed position with your back as straight as possible. Do full breathing for a few minutes. After the full breathing you may take a more comfortable position. Now you are going to tense a number of muscle groups individually, each for the count of ten. Then you will relax them, again for the count of ten. Concentrate on the individual muscle groups; be fully conscious of the difference between the sensation of tensing and that of relaxing. Isolate the muscle groups as well as you can. Try not to tense any muscles not belonging to the group you are working on. Continue breathing calmly.

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1. Bend your right hand backwards from the wrist and tense for the count of ten. Release the tension. Experience the feeling of relaxation for the count of ten. Now do the same with the left hand. Bend it back from the wrist; tense for the count of ten, then release. 2. Make a fist of your right hand. Clench it tightly and feel the tensing in the hand and lower arm. Unclench the fist. Now do the same with the left hand. Be conscious of the feeling of relaxation in both hands and lower arms. 3. Stretch your biceps by bringing your right lower arm to your upper arm and tensing the muscles. Hold for the count of ten, then release. Do the same with your left arm. 4. Now concentrate on your face. Tighten your forehead by lifting your eyebrows as far as possible. Hold for the count of ten, then release. 5. Squeeze your eyes tightly shut. Feel the tension around the eyes. Hold the tension and breathe calmly. Release. Be conscious of the relaxation in the area around the eyes. 6. Clench your jaws tightly together. Hold the tension for the count of ten. Release and feel the relaxation in the jaw for the count of ten. 7. Press your tongue hard against the roof of your mouth. Hold the tension. Release and feel how loose your tongue seems in your mouth. 8. Bow your head by dropping your chin to your chest. Feel the tension in the neck and hold for the count of ten. Release. Be conscious of the relaxation in your neck and feel the relaxation spread to your upper back. 9. Raise your shoulders as far as possible. Continue breathing calmly. Feel the tension, then release and relax. 10. Breathe in deeply and at the same time push your shoulders back by stretching your arms behind you. Feel the tension in your chest and surrounding area. Concentrate on this tension for the count of ten. Release and enjoy the relaxation in the chest for the count of ten. 11. Pull your stomach in as far as possible. Hold it in. Release and enjoy the relaxation in your stomach. Take a breath and now tense your stomach muscles as if you are preparing to be punched in the stomach. Release and relax. 12. Tense the buttock muscles by squeezing them together. Hold for the count of ten then release. Be conscious of the difference between the tension and the relaxation. 13. Stretch both legs and lift the feet a little from the ground. Feel the tension building. Release. Feel the relaxation flow through the legs. 14. Bend your toes upwards so they point to the ceiling. Feel the tension in the feet and ankles. Release and relax. Remain seated in this relaxed state with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Continue breathing calmly. Experience complete relaxation.
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8. Coupling relaxation to speaking situations

With imaginary exposure you break through the vicious circle of fear to make place for an upward spiral of pleasure and well-being. With imaginary exposure you expose yourself to fear-inducing situations. Not in reality, but in imagination, in the safety of your own home. And you learn to replace the feeling of fear with one of calm and relaxation. You begin with a situation that is the least fearful and gradually work up to situations that terrify you. Imaginary exposure works by means of a ladder of fear. This is a list of situations surrounding the giving of a speech that instil fear in you. At the top of your ladder is the situation that most terrifies you. At the bottom is the situation that causes you the least fear. The ladder is, therefore, a reflection of the situations that cause you fear listed by intensity. Imaginary exposure begins with the creation of a pleasant state of relaxation. To reach this state you need full breathing and PMR. Once complete relaxation has been reached, visualize the situations that evoke fear. Visualize the situations one at a time, as they are on your ladder of fear. In this way you learn in your subconscious to associate these situations with a pleasant feeling of relaxation. The negative vicious circle gets broken. You will be amazed at the result. In the following exercise you will make your own personal ladder of fear. The imaginary exposure exercise is planned for the day after tomorrow. Day 7 - exercise 1 the ladder of fear Do you feel stressed when you are asked to give a speech? Do you feel agitated on your way to a meeting? Does your heart start pounding faster when you enter a room where you have to address an audience. Do you break out in a sweat when youre asked to the front? If so, the stress must be extreme when you take your place and all eyes turn to you. Everyone with fear of public speaking knows that there are situations before, during and after the actual giving of a speech that evoke fear. And it is these situations that you are now going to place on your ladder of fear. Get exercise 1 of day 4. You began there by writing down three situations that instil intense fear. Think about each of these situations separately. When you have, write down on a separate piece of paper the precise moments or events around the situation that evoked fear. Try to make a list of ten moments or events, as specific and personal as possible. If there are less than ten on your list, split them up into moments and events, or allow the following examples to inspire you. Asked to give a presentation. Practising the presentation at home in front of a mirror. Choosing clothes in the morning that you will wear for the speech. Travelling to the presentation. Thinking about who will be present and watching you. Meeting the other speakers and the team from the organisation beforehand. Inspecting the place the speech will take place. Being asked forward after having waited for your turn. Looking at your audience and giving your opening line. Giving the speech with all eyes on you.
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Closing your presentation while everyone is looking at you. Being in the room after the speech, after everyone has heard your speech.

When you have compiled your list of ten, place them on the ladder in order of the intensity of fear they instil. At moment 1 on the ladder below, write the item that instils the least fear and build up to moment 10, the most fear. Ladder of fear Moment 1: Moment 2: .. Moment 3: Moment 4: .... Moment 5: Moment 6: .. Moment 7: Moment 8: ... Moment 9: Moment 10: .... Day 7 - exercise 2 Do full breathing for five minutes. yoga exercise full breathing

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9. Exercises, the power of repetition

You have completed the first week of the programme just fourteen days to go. Well done for getting this far. You have recognised your fears and you now have a better understanding of them. You have also become acquainted with ways to deal with your fear of public speaking. I hope that you have come to realise that even you can overcome your fear. That moment is getting ever closer. Last week you learned relaxation techniques and you worked on cognitive restructuring and imaginary exposure. This week you are going to put what youve learnt into practice with daily exercises. I want to impress upon you the importance of doing the exercises every day. Take time for them because by daily practise your old pattern of thought will gradually be broken. A new pattern will replace that of tension and fear; one of calm and pleasure. If you notice that its difficult to keep yourself motivated, look again at what you wrote for exercise 2 of day 2. Remember the space and opportunities that will arise once you have overcome your fear of public speaking. Look again at the promise you made yourself. Look forward to the reward you promised yourself. You have never been this close to overcoming your fear. Hang on in there! Day 8 - exercise cognitive restructuring On day 4 you compiled a list of fearful and worrying thoughts that afflict you at the very thought of speaking in public. And then, per thought, you unmasked the irrational twisted thought that lies at the root of each of those fearful and worrying thoughts. On day 5 you determined how you are going to react to those worrying thoughts in a rational and positive way, because speaking in public is nothing to be afraid of; it is a meeting of people and the sharing of information. We communicate from birth and it is as much a part of us as breathing. Speaking to people is natural behaviour that you enjoy. During the following exercise you will learn how to have your positive affirmations always at the ready. Begin by doing five minutes full breathing. Breathe calmly and deeply through your nose. Hold the breath and smile; then breathe out through your nose. Try to breathe as smoothly as possible and allow the air to flow naturally in and out. Take your time. Experience that pleasant feeling of peace and calm. At the same time, notice how strength and concentration increase. Rest for five minutes at the end of the exercise; lie on your back breathing calmly. Now take the list from day 4, exercise 1. Steadily read through the worrying thoughts and the positive affirmations. Think about how it will feel from now onwards to react rationally and positively whenever those worrying thoughts appear. Concentrate today on the first four worrying thoughts and the accompanying positive affirmations. Learn the first four worrying thoughts and the accompanying positive affirmations by heart. In this way you will ensure that you always have your positive affirmations ready when worrying thoughts appear.

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Day 9 - exercise imaginary exposure Take your ladder of fear and go to your quiet place. First you are going to relax with full breathing and with PMR, the technique you learned on day 6. Once you have reached complete relaxation, you will then mentally couple that pleasant feeling to situations on your ladder of fear. Begin with full breathing for a few minutes. After the full breathing you may take a more comfortable position. Now do the PMR exercise. Tense the muscle groups one at a time; ensure that you dont tense muscles not in the muscle group in which you are working. Continue breathing calmly. Hold the tension for a count of ten and concentrate on the feeling of tension. After the count of ten, abruptly release and allow the muscle to relax. Notice that it can do nothing but relax. Continue experiencing that wonderful relaxation. Be conscious of the difference between the sensation of tension and the sensation of relaxation. Remain sitting calmly after the PMR exercise. Keep your eyes lightly closed and breathe calmly. Be conscious of that wonderful relaxation. Remember this feeling. Now think of the first item on your ladder of fear. Try to envisage the situation really happening. Form an image of the situation in your mind and keep that image for thirty seconds. Breathe calmly and remain completely relaxed. If tension appears anywhere, allow the image to gently disappear. Concentrate calmly on the place you feel tension. Tense the relevant muscle, hold the tension for the count of ten then release. Feel the relaxation. When you are completely relaxed again, allow the image of the situation to slowly return. Envisage it really happening and hold the image for thirty seconds. Only when you succeed in attaching the feeling of complete relaxation to the image may you continue with the next item on the ladder of fear. Do not visualize more than the first four items this first time. When you have finished your visualization, remain sitting calmly and relaxed. Then do five minutes full breathing. Rest for a few minutes afterwards by lying on your back, breathing calmly with your eyes gently closed.

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Day 10 - exercise cognitive restructuring Today you are going to concentrate on learning a few more positive affirmations. Take your list of worrying thoughts and positive affirmations from day 4, exercise 1. Begin with five minutes full breathing. Be sure not to omit this. It is important take the time for it. Now test yourself. What do you remember from the positive affirmations accompanying the first four worrying thoughts? Practise these four again and enjoy the positive thoughts you are teaching yourself. Then concentrate on numbers five and six on the list and try to learn them by heart. Day 11- exercise imaginary exposure Today you are going further with the imaginary exposure exercise. Take your ladder of fear and go to your quiet place. Begin by relaxing. Once you have reached complete relaxation, you will then mentally couple that pleasant feeling to situations on your ladder of fear. First do full breathing for a few minutes; then do the PMR exercise. Remain sitting relaxed with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Continue to breathe calmly. Be conscious of complete relaxation. Notice that you are finding the exercises easier to do and that the feeling of relaxation is getting deeper. Now go mentally to the first item on your ladder of fear. Hold that image for thirty seconds. Breathe calmly and remain relaxed. Go to the next items on your list and hold them for thirty seconds. Continue breathing calmly. If tension appears anywhere, allow the image to gently disappear. Concentrate calmly on the place you feel tension. Tense the relevant muscle, hold the tension for the count of ten then release. Feel the relaxation. When you are completely relaxed again, allow the image of the situation to slowly return. Envisage it really happening and hold the image for thirty seconds. You may only visualize the first eight items on your ladder of fear today. But go slowly; only move on to the next item when you have been able to visualize the previous one in a state of complete relaxation. Do full breathing for five minutes.

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Day 12 - exercise cognitive restructuring Take the list of worrying thoughts and positive affirmations from day 4, exercise 1. Do full breathing for five minutes. Is this breathing becoming more automatic? If so, you can apply it to calm yourself and help you concentrate wherever you are. Try it out, at work, during a meeting, etc. Test yourself. Read the first six worrying thoughts and try to remember the accompanying positive affirmation for each one. Practise them a few more times. Then concentrate on numbers seven and eight of the list and learn them by heart.

Day 13 - exercise imaginary exposure Today you are going further with the imaginary exposure exercise. Take your ladder of fear and relax with full breathing and the PMR exercise. Recall the items on your ladder mentally, one at a time. Hold the image of each for thirty seconds. Relax if you feel tension and only continue when you are able to visualize that item for thirty seconds feeling completely relaxed. If you are able to keep complete relaxation while holding the image of every item on the ladder for thirty seconds, then you may visualize the remaining items on the ladder. Do full breathing for five minutes.

Day 14 - exercise cognitive restructuring Take your list of worrying thoughts and positive affirmations. Relax by doing five minutes full breathing. Practise the first eight positive affirmations on your list. Read the worrying thoughts and try to mention each ones accompanying positive affirmation from memory. Afterwards, concentrate on the last two and learn them by heart. If you have succeeding in learning all the positive affirmations by heart, then from now on you will always have them ready the moment a worrying thought appears. But dont worry if you are not yet able to call them all up spontaneously. Keep the list with you for a while and practise regularly.

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The power of repetition You now have one week of practise behind you. You have repeated a great deal and that repetition is extremely important. The old thought patterns have had years to nestle in your brain; fortunately, breaking them will go much faster as you now know that they are irrational. But still, practise is essential for your brain to learn the new positive associations. If you have been doing the exercises regularly, you are now well on your way to overcoming your fear of public speaking. Take a moment. What is going better for you now than it was two weeks ago? Can you think about a speech without fear? Can you evoke relaxation with full breathing and PMR? Have you got up to speak more often? Speak your progress out loud and be proud of yourself. Many people, at this point, dont yet dare to admit to themselves that things are getting better. On the contrary, irrational thoughts can still appear and some people say: See, Ill never succeed. Or: Ill never be able to give a speech without this fear of public speaking. Dont allow such thoughts to make you despondent. Recognise them for what they are, determine why they are irrational and decide which positive affirmations you will use to combat them in future. Of course I can give a speech without fear! Giving a speech is nothing more than the meeting of people and the exchanging of information. You do that every day; it is natural and pleasant. You dont have to be perfect.

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10.

Natural speech-giving with mind mapping

If you pay attention, youll see that many speeches actually come across as very unnatural. The speaker stands bolt upright on the rostrum, his nose in his notes. Or he hides behind a row of impressive PowerPoint sheets. In no way does it look like a pleasant meeting between people. Both the speaker and the public subconsciously realise that something isnt right. The message misses warmth and energy. The content doesnt come across and the essence is lost. How different it is when someone tells a story from his heart: a father who expressively tells his child about the adventures he had when he was a small boy; a young woman who tells her friends about the first date with her new boyfriend or who transports them with words into the wonderful world of her new job. Thats how speeches should be. Personal, committed; warm and compelling. The difficulty is that the story you want to share with your public during your speech is often less personal than that of a new partner or job. The first evening with your new love is clear and vivid. You can replay every detail of it like a film in your brain. And thats why you can impart those images to your public who hang on your every word. And you have every detail of the event at the ready, so if you realise that your public wants to hear more, you can oblige by providing more details. But you jump effortlessly back to the outline if their attention wanes. Thats what speeches and presentations should be like, just as compelling as the personal stories you share with family and friends. And they can be. Theres a simple technique you can learn that will help you visualize stories and speeches. One by which you can create a film in your brain about any subject so that when you have to speak about that subject you will be able to do so expressively and capture your public. That technique is mind mapping. Mind mapping Mind mapping is a way of organising and recording information that well suits the human brain. With mind mapping, information is not linearly stored, as we are used to, but is stored in a logically structured and, as much as possible, visual manner. Neurologists agree that this is a better way of clearly organising and remembering information. If you record your presentation in a mind map, you can begin your presentation in complete confidence. You know that the information has been stored effectively in your memory. British psychologist Tony Buzan (1942), claims to be the inventor of the mind map. He certainly did a great deal to stimulate the use of this technique, but the invention of it cannot be attributed to him. Writers and philosophers have been using mind maps for centuries. Dr. Allan Collins examined the human learning process and improved the mind map technique in 1960. The positive effect of mind mapping was proven by students in extensive scientific research in 2002: The efficacy of the mind map study technique Farrand, Hussain and Hennessy.

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How mind mapping works Maybe you are used to writing out an important presentation or speech beforehand. You practise by repeatedly reading it out loud and try to commit chunks of it to memory. You take your script with you to fall back on during the speech. If you have done that, you know how frustrating it is. The text wont commit to memory; the sentences you speak sound unnatural and, after youve lost the thread a few times, you decide to simply read your story from the script. You thoroughly prepare your presentation with mind mapping, too. Not by linearly writing it all down but by logically structuring and connecting the various elements of your story, and by visualizing the elements and connections where possible. Below is a mind map of the training programme Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking. By making this simple mind map, I have logically structured all the information I want to communicate to you. And by making the mind map, I have the construction of it like a film in my head. Every time I give a speech or course about public-speaking fear, I follow this mind map for the logical structure of my story. And one thing is certain; at the end of my presentation everyone in my audience knows how he can overcome his fear of public speaking in 21 days.

Mind mapping combines writing and drawing. By using various colours, pictures and connections, you construct strong associations. And that fits well with your memory, which also works through associations. Mind mapping stimulates both sides of your brain; the left side for rational and logical thought, the right side for creative thought. Mind mapping stimulates the recording, processing and retrieving of information in images visual thinking.

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A mind map begins with a central word or concept in the middle of a piece of paper. From that central word, lines are drawn and on those lines the most important concepts are noted. And from those concepts, more lines are drawn, and in this way you can make the mind map as detailed as you wish. By the making of a mind map for a presentation, you begin by noting the essence of the presentation in the centre of a piece of paper. The essence is the part of the message that your presentation is all about; the part that you want those hearing your presentation to remember, even if they forget everything else. Pay a lot of attention to the visualization of the essence. Use various colours for this. Now think of the most import subjects that you want to share with your audience. Place them around the drawing of the essence. Connect the essence and the subjects with lines. Its best if you also visually represent the main subjects. If you write them, be sure to use colours and alternate large and small letters. Underline the important parts, or make the letters bold. Construct the mind map clockwise place the subject you want to talk about first at 1 oclock and your closing subject at 11 oclock. Now fill in the main subjects. Think of what information you want to impart per subject. Which experiences do you want to share? Which examples do you want to mention? Place this information in catchwords or small drawings around the main subjects. Connect the main subjects with the relevant sub-subjects. Emphasize the examples that you particularly want to impart. Use different supporting colours.

Day 15 - exercise visualizing your speech Soon you will be giving your first speech free of fear. You will enthusiastically share your story with others calmly and relaxed. Think today about which opportunity you are going to seize for your first speech. Choose a situation with between five and ten people present, preferably in a safe environment: family, friends or close colleagues. Think of a subject that you feel comfortable with and plan a talk of about ten minutes. Take your time until tomorrow calmly familiarizing yourself with all aspects of giving your speech. Try to visualize the essence and think about which subjects you want to communicate to your public. Tomorrow you will make a mind map. The essence of my first speech free of fear is: .. Those present will be: ...... ... ...

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11.

Making a mind map

How does it feel being mentally busy with your first speech free of fear? Enjoy the pleasant thoughts that appear: the relaxed manner in which you speak; the interest of your public; the compliments you receive afterwards. Concentrate on these positive thoughts and dont worry if any worrying thoughts appear. Unmask them and think about how you will deal with them in a rational and positive manner. Relax; do full breathing and the PMR exercise. Today you are going to mind map for your first speech. In so doing, you will organize the information you want to communicate. You will establish the essence, the core of your story. You will determine the main subjects and separate them from the details. And by visualizing, underlining and making connections, your story will form like a film in your brain. Dont be afraid to make a rough copy in the beginning, or of making mistakes. The making of a mind map is itself a very useful process. Allow the creativity to flow; thats what making a mind map is. Combine text and drawings. Use colours, images and connections. Use both sides of the brain. Think in words and pictures. The more you immerse yourself in making the mind map, the better the presentation will lodge in your memory. Day 16 - exercise mind map of your first speech without fear 1. Take a fresh sheet of paper or use the following page. Write or draw the essence of your speech in the middle of the page. Visualize the essence using at least three colours, and write the essence in capital letters. 2. Draw a line from the essence to the side. Place three to five main points around the essence. Begin at 1 oclock with the subject your want to kick off your speech with, and place the subject you want to round off your speech with at 11 oclock. Keep enough space free between the main subjects. Try to visualize the main subjects. If you use text, use only short sentences, catchwords or abbreviations. Use colours and notes that are logical for you. 3. Then fill in the main subjects. Draw a line from each main subject outwards and place the subjects and examples you want to talk about on them. Think about how you are going to divide the available ten minutes. What information and examples are you definitely going to communicate? What will you keep back? How are you going to make that clear by use of colour or other accent? 4. When the basis of your mind map is ready, concentrate on the details. Make connections between subjects clear. Accentuate. Use supporting colours. Remember, no-one has to understand the mind map but you.

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Mind map of my first speech without fear

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12.

Achieving Flow with visualization

It is well known that top-class sportsmen train long and hard. The pressure under which they have to achieve is enormous. The high level in many sports is almost inhuman. The difference between the competition is wafer-thin. Everything depends on winning. Television records every millisecond with great precision, and that moment of winning or losing covers the front pages of the newspapers the following morning. No wonder then that, as well as the intense physical training, psychological training plays a very important part in top-class sportsmens lives. A much-used technique for the psychological training of top-class sportsmen is visualization. Sport coaches worldwide include visualization in the training of their athletes. The Flow concept By using visualization, sportsmen strive to deliver their performances in a situation of Flow. Flow is best described as a concentrated relaxation in which everything seems to happen automatically. Flow is found between maximal tension and maximal control. You feel strong and alert and you have control over the situation. Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe youve felt as if you were flying during a sports performance; or maybe in a pleasant way youve been totally absorbed in your work. The American-Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi carried out pioneering research into this phenomenon in the 1970s. During the research, one of the participants spoke of a feeling like a current that carried him along. That metaphor led to the use of the word Flow. Flow isnt just something for top-class sportsmen to strive for; Flow is also a wonderful state of mind for the giving of speeches and presentations. A speaker who is in Flow performs to the very best of his ability. He is concentrated, inspired and enthusiastic. And he is calm and pleasantly tense at the same time. Flow exists in the area between challenge and skill. If an upcoming performance is a huge challenge and you barely have the necessary skills for it, then you experience fear and stress. Imagine someone having to pilot a Boeing 747 after having only had one flying lesson; the challenge is huge but the skill is negligible.
routine high fear stress flow challenge

On the other hand, if the challenge is minor and the skill is great, the result is apathy and boredom. Youll know that feeling if you have ever had to do boring and routine work for any length of time. You achieve Flow when the challenge and the skill are in balance with each other.

boredom low low

skill

high

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Achieving Flow with visualization Flow is a concentrated tension; everything happens automatically; you have energy and strength; everything succeeds without effort, pain or fear. To achieve Flow during a competition, sportsmen visualize the event beforehand, over and over again. They visualize themselves performing well. The mentally practise an explosive start that immediately puts them in the lead. They imagine the forceful punches they will deliver. They feel the skilful goals they will score and they enjoy the crowds cheering. By doing this they build healthy, positive tension in their minds. In addition, they mentally work on their skills by frequent repetition. Visualization works best if it is begun the evening before an event and repeated in the morning and again shortly before the event. Notice how athletes close their eyes and sway gently from side to side before a competition. They are visualizing the event, enjoying their times and seeing themselves being the first over the finish line. They are ready for their performance in ultimate Flow. Visualization as preparation for a speech When you make use of visualization in the preparation of a speech, it is important to be calm and quiet. Use full breathing and Progressive Muscle Relaxation for this the evening and the morning before the speech. Full breathing will be sufficient for the final visualization shortly before the speech. Taking it slowly, in chronological order, go through all the aspects of your speech, and declare everything positive. Allow your positive affirmations to inspire you. Think of speakers who have made an impression on you because of their style. Remember some of your past successes. By preparing a presentation in this way you are building positive tension under which you will best perform. From now onwards, you will use tension in a positive way instead of allowing it to paralyse you. And you are building routine. Because you have thoroughly gone through your presentation a few times beforehand, you are prepared for anything. And during the presentation itself you will have time and energy for interaction with your public.

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Day 17 - exercise 1 plan of your first speech without fear In four days you will be giving your first confident speech. You have already decided what the essence is and who your public will be. And you have made a mind map so that you can play your speech like a film in your brain. Now you are going to make a plan which you can use, in combination with the mind map, for visualization training. The time I need to arrive: .. The props I need to have ready: .... My public: ... The essence of my speech is: .. My opening sentence is: My closing sentence is: ....

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Day 17 - exercise 2 checklist for your first speech free of fear To be able to look forward to your speech in a relaxed way, you have to make sure that everything has been well prepared. Give yourself enough time for this. A short speech can be prepared one or two days beforehand; the preparation for a more extensive presentation with a large public at an external location needs to begin weeks or even months in advance. Indicate what you have already arranged and what still needs to be done for next weeks presentation. Checklist Location arranged Location inspected Participants invited Route description Parking spaces Clothing prepared Mind map prepared Laptop and projector Flip-chart and felt-tips Sheets en hand-outs Back-up memory stick Notebook and pens Name badges Catering .. .. .. n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a n/a yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

Laptop and projector tested n/a

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13.

Applying visualization

You are slowly approaching your first speech free of fear. You are almost ready. The connection in your mind between public speaking and fear has been broken. You have determined the essence of your speech. By making the mind map, the content of your speech is stored in your brain like a film. You have a powerful opening sentence and your closing line is one the public wont soon forget. All the practical things have been taken care of; time, therefore, for building healthy, positive tension under which you will be able to perform comfortably. And time to build up your routine so that you will have time and energy for a real meeting with your public during your speech. Days 18, 19 and 20 - exercise visualization Begin by taking another look at your plan and the mind map of your speech. Ensure that form and content are clear in your mind. Now relax. Find a quiet spot and do full breathing for a few minutes. Then do the PMR exercise. Remain seated in a relaxed state for a few minutes afterwards with your eyes closed. Breathe calmly. Experience full relaxation. Now visualize all aspects of your speech in chronological order. Declare everything positive. Remember your positive affirmations. Remember the times youve enthusiastically told a story. Think about speakers who have impressed you with their style. Visualize those who will be present in your audience. Think about how interested they are going to be in your story. See yourself talking to them before the speech. You feel like a fish in water; they are such sympathetic, warm people. You walk forward to begin your speech. You wait for a moment, smiling at the latecomer. You take two deep, calm breaths. Hear yourself deliver that first powerful sentence. Feel the curiosity of your audience increase as you allow a moment of silence to fill the room. Notice how physically strong you feel and how wonderfully relaxed you are. Those PMR exercises really work! You look for a moment at the mind map that you have in front of you, but you realise that its in your head like a film. You wont need it today. You explain the essence of your story and introduce the audience to the main subjects. You can see from their faces that they understand the logical construction of your story. You hear yourself talking about all the main points. You notice how calmly and with exactly the right timing you support your story with gestures. You go through the individual parts of your mind map. Your story is taking care of itself. You are actually speaking as naturally as you do with family and friends.

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The speech is coming to an end. With the mind map in your thoughts, you mention the essence once more and summarize your story. Your closing sentence is a powerful statement that your audience wont soon forget. Your public applauds enthusiastically, and you see people who are important to you looking at you in admiration. You return to your seat and accept the compliments. Speaking in public is such a wonderful experience! You are already looking forward to the next time. Remain seated calmly for a while. Do full breathing for a couple of minutes. Do this whole exercise on three consecutive days: 18, 19 and 20. Go through the full presentation each time. Dont be afraid to vary the content, but follow the lay-out of the mind map.

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14.

Youre there!

Youre there. Youre ready. Today is the day you give your first speech free of fear. Make today a special day. You have prepared well, so relax, take it easy. If you have to go somewhere to give a speech, ensure that you are completely ready to go an hour before you have to leave. Take time for the last mental preparation. If your public is coming to you, begin your mental preparation an hour and a half before they are expected. Take your list of situations and positive affirmations from day 4. Take your mind map and your plan for the speech you are going to give today. Go and sit in your quiet place. Do full breathing for five minutes. Calmly read through your positive affirmations again. Speak them to yourself, powerfully and convincingly. Remain sitting relaxed for a while, breathing calmly with your eyes closed. Go once more through your mind map and plan mentally. By now you know that film in your brain like the back of your hand. Do the PMR exercise for complete relaxation. Now do the visualization. Visualize all the aspects of the speech. Feel totally confident and relaxed. Everything you see is positive. Enjoy the feeling. Youre ready.

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15.

Afterword

Congratulations! You have completed the training programme Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking. You have put your fear under the microscope, learnt to recognise your twisted thoughts, and you have attacked them. You have given your first speech free of fear. You are speaking confidently and comfortably. Do you remember how much you wanted this? Dont let it slip away. Enjoy your new-found freedom! What did you promise yourself on day 2? Dont forget to celebrate this victory. Keep practising. Search out opportunities to speak in public. Continue improving. Prepare by making mind maps. Immerse yourself in visualization. And if you do happen to notice a feeling of fear creeping in, dont worry; grab the exercise for day 4. Realise which twisted thoughts cause the feeling of fear, and get to work on them with the axe positive affirmation! I get great pleasure when people learn to speak confidently and comfortably by using my method. You can do me no greater favour, therefore, than mailing me your story. Have fun and enjoy your freedom,

Benjamin van Spijck benjamin@vanspijck.com

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16.

Glossary

A list of names and terms from the training programme Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking and the accompanying website www.overcoming-fear-of-public-speaking.com. Albert Ellis (1913) Cognitive psychologist from New York: one of the most influential psychotherapists in history. Architect of Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), Ellis discovered that people are not so much confused by events themselves but by the manner in which they interpret these events. Anxiety disorder Psychological problem characterised by recurring periods of fear without any real underlying threat or physical cause. Behavioural therapy An important movement in psychotherapy. The basic principle of behavioural therapy is that undesired behaviour is learned and can, therefore, be unlearned. Cognitive restructuring Technique used in cognitive therapy, based on the fact that fear and depression are often caused by irrational thought. Cognitive restructuring replaces irrational negative thought with realistic positive thought. Cognitive therapy An important movement in psychotherapy. Cognitive therapy is a form of therapy that is based on the idea that psychological symptoms or problems stem from the way in which people select and process information. Edmund Jacobson Doctor from Chicago (1888 - 1983), founder of Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). Jacobson studied the relationship between muscle tension and various disorders of body and psyche over a period of 50 years. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) A controversial psychotherapy tool developed by Gary Craig in the 1990s. The theory behind EFT is that negative emotions are caused by disturbances in the bodys energy field. EFT treatment aims to restore the balance of the bodys energy field by tapping on meridian points while thinking of a negative emotion. Fear A sense of threat or danger: a useful and natural reaction to a threatening situation. The symptoms of fear are palpitations, dry mouth, an oppressed feeling, nervous tension, irritability, restlessness, increased muscle tension or sleeping and concentration problems.

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Fear of speaking Severe irrational fear or phobia of speaking. The main manifestation of this phobia is the fear of speaking in public; but one can also be afraid of talking to superiors or experience fear during one-to-one conversations. Flow Phenomenon researched and promoted by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is the state of concentrated relaxation; the state between maximal tension and maximal control. Flow exists in the area between challenge and skill and can be achieved when the challenge of a certain task is in perfect balance with the necessary skills to fulfil that task. Imaginary exposure Technique used in behavioural therapy in which the patient, in his imagination, is exposed to situations that evoke fear. The goal of imaginary exposure is to break the conditioned connection of fear to a certain situation and replace it with a pleasant feeling of well-being. Irrational fear A sense of threat or danger that is not caused by something that presents actual danger; or the intensity of fear to a threat that is not in reasonable balance with the measure of that threat. Ivan Petrovich Pavlov (1849 - 1936), Russian physiologist and doctor: awarded with the Nobel Prize. Widely known for the phenomenon of the learned reflex which he stumbled upon during his study of the digestive system of dogs. John B. Watson American psychologist (1878 - 1958); established the psychological school of behaviorism: the school that studies the conditioned relationship between situations and the human response to it. He also conducted the white mice experiment with "Little Albert". Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi American-Hungarian psychologist (1934). Professor at Claremont University, California. He is noted for his work in positive psychology; is one of the most widely cited psychologists today, and architect and promoter of Flow. Mind mapping A visual method of organising and recording information that better suits the human brain than the traditional linear way. Used for centuries but popularized by the work of British psychologist Tony Buzan. Neuro-Linguistic Programming A system for personal development developed in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler, John Grinder and Gregory Bateson. It uses a variety of techniques from linguistics, hypnotherapy and psychotherapy. The core idea behind NLP is that an individual's thoughts, gestures and words interact to create one's perception of the world. By emphasizing the positive thoughts, gestures and words, and diminishing the negative ones, the individuals perception of the world will be positively influenced.

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Neurology A branch of medicine dealing with the working of the brain and the nervous system. Phobia Severe irrational fear. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) A technique used for the reduction of psychological tension by means of deep relaxation of all the muscle groups. Developed in the early 1920s by Edmund Jacobson and still widely used by physical therapists and psychotherapists. Psychotherapy Intervention to treat mental problems like anxiety, phobias, depression and addiction. There are various schools of psychotherapy, including cognitive therapy and behavioural therapy. Real fear A sense of threat or danger that is caused by something that presents actual danger and from which the intensity is in reasonable balance with the measure of threat. Social phobia Severe irrational fear of losing face in front of other people. Examples of social phobia are the fear of speaking, fear of telephoning, fear of eating out and fear of blushing or trembling. Tony Buzan Tony Buzan (1942), British psychologist and author: widely known for his studies of the human brain and its functions, especially with regard to memory skills, speed reading, mind mapping and creativity. Visualization Part of the psychological training of top-class sportsmen for the mental preparation of their performances. Through visualization and positive associations, healthy, positive tension and routine is built up.

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