Choice Feminism: the Importance of Accepting Voluntary Sadomasochism

Written by: Michelle Charette Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The purpose of this paper is to explore how bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism culture is either limiting or progressive for women and their sexual freedom in Western society. This paper will argue that the Western world's history of patriarchy encourages a compulsory disapproval of BDSM culture, which in turn oppresses women even further to reject any sexually fetishist or expressive lifestyle that first or second wave feminists would deem impure or confining. To support this argument, the following sub-issues will be examined: 1) why patriarchy does not support open expression towards female sexuality 2) the way in which social institutions reject and chastise female sexual expression and 3) third-wave feminists and the defence of personal choice. Women must be encouraged to participate in free choice regarding their sexual bodies and ways of expression. One of the more extreme cases of taboo practices is sadomasochism, a term that collectively describes a variety of sexual behaviours which may involve the administration of pain, deliberate humiliation, physical restriction and hyper masculine activities that are experiences as pleasurable by both partners (Rye, 41). While first and second wave feminists have promoted an ideology that suggests BDSM supports traditional habits of patriarchy, this essay will show why it is moreover crucial for feminism to offer women the opportunity to engage in whatever sexual practices they find pleasurable. Women's bodies traditionally and historically have maintained one instrumental purpose: reproduction. The aspect of pleasure has seemingly never ranked highly on the schematic list of importance in regards to why women have sexual relations. This is undoubtedly supported by a patriarchal history, by which men were considered the only rational species that could willingly engage in familial, societal, business oriented, or romantic relationships. While women were cherished and acknowledged as being the species biologically capable of creating, caring and sustaining life, they were simultaneously densely regarded as weak, fragile and emotional; leaving men responsible for owning women and consequently their offspring. The first category of what Michel Foucault considers the four great strategic unities which historically have constituted specific mechanisms of power and knowledge regarding sex is the hysterization of women's bodies, which he claims, after analysis, "was placed in organic communication with the social body, the family space, and the life of children - which it produced and had to guarantee, by virtue of a biologico-moral responsibility lasting through the entire period of the children's education" (Foucault, 104). It can therefore be seen how men and their control over women's bodies has created constricted and limited purpose of the female body. Intrinsically, it is useless. Only instrumentally, at the commandment and control of men, are women permitted to exercise any degree of sexuality. Moreover, this sexuality has traditionally been limited to two instrumental actions: first, accepting penile penetration in the attempt to achieve insemination, and secondly, by virtue of the first action: male orgasm. For years, pleasure was regarded as a

felt response that could seemingly only be reached by men, and therefore very little was known about the female genital region as well as techniques or methods that may or may not be pleasurable for a woman: after all, women were not meant to achieve orgasm; it serves no instrumental value. Only in the last hundred years has information about women and their parallel need to also achieve sexual stimulation surfaced. In a study conducted by the Departments of Psychology and Sexuality, Marriage and Family Studies at St. Jerome's University, when asked how often they thought about sex, 97% of men and 86% of women responded with a few times a month or more (Rye, 31). While these numbers are irrelevant, the fact remains that women do in fact possess the ability for sexual stimulation. Moreover, like men, they desire sexual pleasure. Patriarchy has rendered women incapable of being able to openly exercise this desire, and as will further be discussed, first and second wave feminism has promoted an attitude which maintains that, because women's bodies have historically been seen instrumentally and controlled by men, sex in general should be avoided. This belief is ignorant to the reality that women are just as equally in pursuit of sexual satisfaction, and should not be forced to repress this fundamental desire merely because of patriarchal history. Sexual satisfaction can be achieved in a multitude of ways, BDSM being one of them. Fetishism has widely been discouraged, assuredly due to the notion that sex is reserved for monogamous relationships attempting to have children. There are many facets of social institution that promote dialogue regarding sexuality. Though modern discourse aims to widen the topics of sexuality that are promoted, this task is not of simple nature. More often than not, the two most prominent methods that people receive information - the media and institutionalized education, are loaded with patriarchal undertones that reject and chastise female sexual expression. Within today's standard sex education curricula and many public classrooms, the following dialogues are often found: the authorized suppression of a discourse of female sexual desire, as well as the explicit privileging of married heterosexuality over other practices of sexuality (Fine, 30). It is found that, even when the subject of female sexuality is approached in the media, it is often surrounded around tactics, manners, methods and physical necessities that, rather than being intended to inspire personal and independent female expression, is designed to receive and maintain male attention. Although teen girls' and women's magazines, such as Seventeen and Glamour have increased their coverage of sexual health issues over the past ten years, the majority, if not all of this advertising and editorial content remains focused on what girls and women should do to get and keep their man (Brown, 42). In order for female sexualization to be appropriate, it ostensibly must be seen as desired by a man, and even then it is hardly regarded as progressive or worthy of attention. This significantly limits the ways in which women can demonstrate their sexuality in a multitude of ways, or even at all. While first and second wave feminist's firmly held the belief that sexuality in all forms ought to be oppressed from women's bodies and behaviours, as it fundamentally reinforced patriarchy and male violence and dominance, third wave feminism, or

"choice feminism" "responds to women who choose to engage in sex work, turn themselves into sexual objects, or eroticize male dominance" (Snyder-Hall, 256). A vivid example of how women who choose to express their sexuality in the public eye are chastised is the infamous performance by musician Miley Cyrus at this year's Much Music Video Awards. To the utter shock and disapproval of the entire Western world, Miley performed her newest musical number on stage wearing nothing but a childishly provocative one-piece, dancing sexually and rubbing her body on the genital area of co-performer and artist Robin Thicke. As Cyrus surely predicted, her actions on stage, in a matter of seconds, were being shown on every news channel, as if it was the first time a female artist chose to display her body as a sexual object. Even female musician Sinead O'Connor offered her two cents, writing a public letter to Miley in which she stated "Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely not in any way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent" (Smith). This perspective mirrors that of a first or second wave feminist, suggesting that women ought to distance themselves from public displays of sexuality because sex is designed for men. Interestingly enough, this portrayal of sexuality is not by any means the first. Historically, female pop stars have been notorious for displaying sexual frivolity upon reaching a certain status of popularity in the media. One begs the question if these artists are aware of the predictable attention that will be received, and consequently merely taking advantage of the inevitable outcome and subsequent heightening of popularity in the media. The fundamental issue with openly chastising and rejecting women who choose to engage in sexual acts, whether they be submissive at the hands of a man, provocative, or dominant, is that it tells women what they should not do. Feminism maintains one primary goal: to provide women with equal opportunity and status as men. While men receive no judgement for their sexual lifestyles, be it openly provocative or secretly non-existent, women are made to feel like they simply cannot participate in open displays of sexuality of any kind, especially those of outrageous nature. If second wave feminists disapprove of open displays of sexuality, or even sex in general, it is not hard to imagine their opinion on bondage, domination sadism and masochism. BDSM culture often revolves around two people that have sexually submissive and dominant roles. It is equally possible for the male to be the submissive partner as it is for him to be the dominant one, however; this essay examines whether or not female participation in submissive roles reinforces patriarchy. Sexuality, however, is a personal and relative experience for each individual. One cannot simply correlate private sexual practices to supporting primitive notions of male dominance as a mandatory function within a society. The debate regarding female sexual expression often occurs between two opposing feminist ideologies: those of the first and second wave versus the third. Second wave feminism maintains that the act of sex is fundamentally oppressive for women. Catharine MacKinnon expresses this belief by suggesting that femininity as we know it is how we come to want male dominance, which most emphatically is not in our interest (Snyder-Hall, 257). When women started openly discussing their individual struggles regarding male dominance, second wave and radical

feminists suggested that women examine how their own lived experiences contradicted the dominant ideology, and to recognize the ways in which internalized societal norms keep them complicit in their own oppression (Snyder-Hall, 257). The radical feminist mind-set seemingly suggests that, regardless of whether or not a woman finds something pleasurable, if the act itself promotes patriarchy, she ought to practice self-discipline and reject the motion all together. Historically, because women's role in sex had been viewed as instrumentally crucial if insemination was desired, though only intrinsically enjoyable for the man, the first two waves of feminism suggested that women opt out of sex all-together. As mentioned earlier, however, it seems unfair yet again to suggest that men can willingly engage in sexual acts while women should abstain. After all, it is ignorant to assume that women don't also require sexual pleasure. This can be demonstrated through the study conducted on masturbation, showing that no gender differences exist in reasons for masturbation: the majority of men and women stated that they masturbated to relieve sexual tension and the second most commonly cited reason was for physical pleasure (Rye, 33). One can understand how certain feminists would see a problem with BDSM culture, as it promotes a certain amount of violence and pain. The difference that we must bear in mind, however; is that people practicing BDSM in all its forms are doing so voluntarily. Sociologist Staci Newmahr insists that masochism is not a diagnosis or a deviant behaviour, but a form of committed play entered into by fully consensual subjects (Ross, 232). The practice is built around choice, and to claim that women should never participate in such fetishism is to fundamentally deny them equal rights. It is third wave feminism that offers a liberal and accepting approach to female sexuality. For third wavers, feminism requires not a particular set of choices, but rather acting with a "feminist consciousness", defined as "knowledge of what one is doing and why one is doing it" (Snyder-Hall, 256). Women in the Western public eye are increasingly practicing the notion of choice-feminism, as can be seen in pop culture media: "one fifth to one half of music videos depending on the music genre portray sexuality or eroticism" (Brown, 42). As this practice continues to grow, hopefully so will the normalization of fetishism and female sexuality in all its obscure and progressive forms. Patriarchy is a historical aspect of the current and past world that both men and women should seek to destroy, as it fundamentally favours the rights of men and shames women for engaging in personal choice. As sex traditionally and ignorantly has been viewed solely for the purpose of insemination, patriarchy supports that men can and ought to achieve orgasm, while it is not necessarily important for women. Female displays of sexuality are relentlessly chastised in the sphere of Western pop-culture, to which end fetishism is also regarded as absurd and immoral. Moreover, first and second wave feminists would suggest that, for this very reason, women should completely abstain from sex, as it traditionally could serve no benefit for the female body or for women's ranking within a society. These beliefs neglect the importance of choice: if women are yet again unable to make their own decisions, their bodies remain in the control of men and the public. In order to achieve hierarchical equality among human species, both men and women should be encouraged to engage in sexual acts that they find pleasurable, regardless of social implications. After all, sex is an incredibly nuanced act and methods of

achieving pleasure vary greatly for each individual. Additionally, bondage, discipline, sadist and masochist activities promote an even more profound feminist attitude: while an abuser has no regard for the feelings or limits of the victim, a BDSM dominant is concerned above all else with the needs and desires of the submissive (Ross, 232). Sexual submissiveness can consequently be viewed as incredibly feminist: the focus constantly centred on what does or does not turn a woman on, and how it is both partners responsibility to achieve such desire.

Bibliography

Brown, Jane D. (2002). Mass Media Influences on Sexuality. The Journal of Sex Research. Vol. 39 (1): pp. 42-45.

Ross, Amy D. (2012). Revisiting The Body in Pain: The Rhetoric of Modern Masochism. Sexuality & Culture. 16: pp. 230-240.

Snyder-Hall, Claire R. (2010). Third Wave Feminism and the Defense of "Choice". Symposium: Women's Choice and the Future of Feminism. Vol. 8 (1), pp: 255-261.

Foucault, Michel. (1978). The History of Sexuality. Pantheon Books. New York. Vol. 1, pp: 77-159.

Rye, B.J and Meaney, Glenn. (2007). The Pursuit of Sexual Pleasure. Sexuality and Culture. Vol. 11, No. 1, pp. 28-51.

Fine, Michelle. (1988). Sexuality, Schooling, and the Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire. Harvard Educational Review. Vol. 58, No. 1, pp: 29-50.

Smith, O'Grady. (2013). Sinead O'Connor pens open letter to Miley Cyrus: 'Don't let the music business make a prostitute of you'. Entertainment Weekly Online.