Burns 1 Danny Burns ENGL 1101 Ms.

Hinnant October 10, 2013 Sector Nine Longboard What is it about longboards that make them so different? It could be the graphics on the bottom, the wheels it rides on, or simply what it is made of. There are so many factors that can distinguish one longboard from another. This particular longboard is made by Sector Nine, it is approximately three feet long, crafted out of bamboo, has a unique design on the bottom. It has soft bushings, and a W shaped concave. This longboard has many scratches, chips, and dents on it from heavy use. All of these factors make this longboard unique and easily distinguishable and more appealing from other longboards. One of the most unique aspects of this longboard is the graphics on the bottom. The picture on the bottom of the board is artsy, but also appeals to long boarders. They include a small shack with a surfboard lying near it on top of a cliff that overlooks the ocean. Sector Nine put these graphics on the board for a specific reason. Longboarding is a lot like surfing, and a lot of people who are interested in longboarding are likely to also be interested in surfing. The sharp turns and smooth riding that you can execute on a longboard are similar to carving and smooth riding on a surfboard. These graphics could draw the attention of someone who surfs because if someone enjoys surfing, they are more inclined to buy a board with graphics on the bottom that relate to surfing. The graphics on the bottom of the board can also appeal to someone who likes nature. The life of the person, who would live in the shack that is pictured on the bottom of the board, would be very primitive and very natural. This would incline someone who likes nature to
Comment [B2]: How so? Comment [B1]: Nice summary herenot too much, not too little.

Burns 2 buy this board, because if someone wants to look natural then they could show that by owning a board with natural graphics on the bottom. In order for a longboard to be mobile, it needs to have wheels. This longboard has thick, big, soft, orange wheels that Sector Nine put on the board for specific reasons. The sizes of the longboard wheels are very important to someone who is looking for a longboard, because larger wheels help a longboard go faster. The diameter of the wheels that a longboard rides on is directly proportionate to the speed the rider can reach on the longboard. Sector Nine put the big wheels on the longboard so the board would appeal to people who want to be able to go faster on a longboard, as opposed to a longboard with smaller wheels that would not be able to go as fast. The thickness of the wheels is also an asset of the board. Sector Nine also made the wheels thick to attract buyers who want to go fast on the board, because it allows for more control at higher speeds. Having control over the board while traveling at high speeds is important to a long boarder so turning and carving is easy to execute at high speed. The wheels are also soft and easily grip the ground, Sector Nine made the wheels soft to appeal to those that want to carve and go fast. The softness of the wheels allows the board to make sharp turns, because the friction between the ground and wheels does not make the wheels slide against the surface. This also helps for the board to not slide out from under its rider while taking high speed turns. The wheels also have an aesthetic factor that makes them unique. The wheels are bright orange to draw your attention to the board. Someone is more inclined to buy a board that has bright wheels because it draws their attention to the wheels, and then they begin to look into the complete board. This particular longboard is very different in terms of the material it is made of. The deck is crafted from one-hundred percent bamboo. Sector Nine would choose to make a board made from bamboo to get a natural image, and to appeal to unique people. Making a board from
Comment [B6]: Im not sure I understand this connection. Comment [B4]: Youre throwing a lot of information in this one paragraph. You may want to consider breaking it up. Also, just to be sure, none of this information comes from outside sources right? This is all your analysis? Because it feels technical its hard to tell. Comment [B3]: Theres a nice discussion of audience happening here, but I think you could push it a bit further. Do you think these are the only possible audiences? I feel like theres a lot more to the art than what youre giving me here.

Comment [B5]: What else? Why bright orange? I feel like your analysis here is very, very brief.

Burns 3 bamboo may appeal to someone who likes nature, because bamboo is far less harvested than wood and deforestation is a major problem in todays world. If someone is shopping for longboards, and has an interest in nature they would be more inclined to want this longboard than one made of wood. The bamboo deck might also appeal to people to who like to be different. Sector Nine was the first company to craft a longboard from bamboo. Since crafting a board from bamboo hasnt been done before, someone who likes to be different would rather buy a board from a unique material, than one made of wood like every other longboard. The material of the deck is not the only aspect of the deck that makes it special. The shape of a longboard deck is a very important factor during the selection of a board. This particular longboard has a W shaped concavity, and Sector Nine crafted this deck in that shape for specific reasons. A W shaped concave makes the board more stiff and sturdy, which also helps when taking turns. A sturdy board is valued because it helps to prevent the board from flexing and bending, which can cause a rider to lose control or get speed wobble. Sector Nine made a W shaped concavity to show durability and quality in the board, which appeals to anyone looking for a longboard. The deck is a very important part of the board because it has so many variables that make it different from other longboards. Along with shape, material, and design, the length of the deck is important to someone looking at a longboard. This longboard is approximately three feet long, which is important for many reasons. The length of the board allows it to be portable and easily carried for someone who wants to use a board to get from place to place, as opposed to a longer more inconvenient board to carry. The length of the board also improves the way it rides, because it is not too short. Shorter boards are harder to control because there is less space to put your feet on the board, and pumping while on the board is more difficult. Sector Nine made this
Comment [B8]: Who would this be important to? I feel like a lot of your analyses lose me because you arent always addressing audience or the why does it matter question. Comment [B7]: I follow you here, but I still think this could be pushed further.

Burns 4 board three feet long to show that it is small enough to be portable, but it still long enough to be comfortably and safely ridden. Sector Nine included a lot of assets to the board that would draw the attention of people who ride longboards, including the bushings. The bushings on the board are white and softer than other bushings, which is something that the longboarding community looks for. The bushings are the small rubber pieces that are between the trucks and the king bolt, to make turning on the board not so stiff and sensitive. The bushings on this board appeal to the longboarding community because soft bushings are ideal for a longboard. Soft bushings allow for smooth turns and they reduce speed wobble. They allow for more control over the board, and provide a much smoother ride. Someone who rides longboards would want more control over their board and a smooth ride to be able to ride better and more comfortably. One of the first things one might notice when looking at the longboard are the scratches and dings all over the board. The nose and tail of the board are scratched and chipped, and the underside of the board has a few noticeable scratches. Even though they might not be aesthetically pleasing, they reveal something very important about the board. The chips and scratches on the board show that it has been ridden and used before. They show that this longboard has been useful to someones life already. The marks indicate that the longboard is durable and reliable, and other than a few scratches and dents that it functions perfectly. Someone who rides longboards would want to know that a longboard is durable and reliable, so they know they are going to get a quality product that they can have for a long time. Although this longboard has been visibly worn, it shows that it is durable and reliable. All of the aspects Sector Nine has added to the board including the bushings, the wheels, the graphics, the deck shape, the deck length, and the material it is made of; make it visibly and
Comment [B11]: Didnt you just say this? Comment [B10]: Would this person ride at an expert, beginner, or intermediate level. Would the bushings affect this? Ask yourself this question throughout the revision process, as I feel that right now youre just saying that the longboard appeals to longboarders. Comment [B9]: Why? I feel that some of your statements are still too vague.

Burns 5 technically different from other longboards. Sector Nine made specific modifications to the board to appeal to the longboarding community. They included everything from the picture on the bottom of the board having to do with surfing, to less noticeable details like the softness of the bushings, to ultimately make this board more appealing than any other longboard.

Daniel, While I think that this analysis has a lot of potential, I still think theres a lot of room for expansion and development. I appreciate the amount of attention youve paid to the details of your text, but I feel like theres a lot more summary here than analysis. That isnt to say, however, that there arent points of analysis (as I can see where youre trying to make connections and arguments), but rather that your points of analysis are far too vague as of now. You say that the art on the board would appeal to surfers and longboarders, but I feel like there are plenty of other audiences it might appeal to as well. In fact, any time you discuss audience you appear to say that this longboard would appeal to longboarders which is a very evident statement. What kinds of longboarders? At what level are they performing? What gender are they? Or age? Where do they prefer to ride? You dont answer any of these questions at this point, and those answers are important to a thorough and meaningful analysis.