CAFFEINE

A Novel by Ryan Grabow

For the glory of the master programmer, without whom artificial intelligence could never be dreamt of.

PRINTER-FRIENDLY PDF
EGrabow Media, November 2011
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of that thin !"an Grabow calls his #ima ination,$ or are fictitious uses of #real world$ stuff, as observed b" !"an when he once walked awa" from his computer, ot lost, and discovered a stran e, bri ht place called #outside.$ This version is strictl" for non%commercial use, and "ou ma" not add commercials to it. &a e 202 serves as an e'tension of this cop"ri ht pa e.

1
would need to face it, or that it would destro" me.

PART|ONE
The +uestion seemed to trap me. ,ith each passin da", - felt more - ran m" hand alon the surface of the old poster. an advertisement for

one of Thomas Edison/s famous inventions, one of the first devices to capture a movin ima e. -ts simple films had been fantastic marvels to an older eneration. - thou ht of their old sense of wonder, and how it was preserved in that place. - envied them. - spent a lon moment feelin the surface of the poster with m" fin ertips, wonderin wh" it didn/t seem as real an"more. 0 small piece of card%paper scraped a ainst m" nose. #1ou2 3tarin off into space2 -/m impressed.$ - took the oran e ticket from 4air/s hand and mana ed to smile. #thou ht "ou hated musicals.$ #,ith a passion,$ she said, Technicolor now.$ The si hts and sounds that da" were familiar and powerful. 3ometimes it seemed as if the pictures were the onl" 6o" - had left in life, the onl" thin that could comfort me in difficult times. ,e took to our seats as the chandelier li hts dimmed and The March of Time filled the silver screen with ima es of the European continent at war. -sn/t this the sort of thin we want to for et2 lancin over. #4itascope,$ she read,

(op"ri ht ) 200*, 2011 b" !"an Grabow This book ma" be printed and distributed under the terms of the (reative (ommons
Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States license. The full license ma" be viewed at
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smilin as she tapped her fin er on the poster. #(/mon, 5randon, we/re in

FORT MYERS, FLORIDA

egrabow.com/media

CAFFEINE

RYAN GRABOW

4air be an shovelin popcorn into her mouth. - found m" hand restin on her free one, the contact makin me feel anchored to somethin - needed, as if it were more real than - was, somethin understand. There was a flash in the corner of m" e"e. #Not a ain,$ 4air said under her breath. ,e knew the litches held nothin to be i nored. 7n screen, realit" and war were replaced b" ima es of fantas" and ima ination. a stor" rounded in a humble famil" farm in 8ansas. The mood of the room softened as we were drawn into the dilemmas of a irl named 9oroth". - put m" arm around 4air, knowin she would alread" be en rossed in the plot, musical or no. - reached for some of her popcorn, hopin - would be fast enou h. M" hand ot smacked. 3uch thin s alwa"s amused her. plopped m" fedora on her head and pulled it over her e"es. 3he plucked it off, bit onto the brim and whispered that it needed salt. #- used to have a nei hbor 6ust like her,$ she said as we saw Miss Gulch sei:e 9oroth"/s do , Toto, claimin the do bit her. #3eriousl", - think she even hated do s that much.$ #&robabl" a cat person,$ - replied. #More like she hated all livin thin s beside herself.$ - lau hed. 3omeone behind us cleared their throat in that ;be +uiet, -/m tr"in to en6o" the picture/ wa". - rolled m" e"es. 4air leaned closer and whispered, #No sound dampenin . Makes the theater e'perience more realistic, remember2$ - composed a sentence in m" mind and sent it to her. #,ell, mister sensitive%hearin wouldn/t mind if we talked like this.$ ood for us and let the moment later.$ pass, hopin the" would o awa" on their own, or at least sta" small enou h - could admire but never

#Never mind, we/ll ra on the ,icked ,itch of *0 later,$ she replied in the same wa". #The" couldn/t do this in the 1*<0/s an"wa", so=$ The litches reappeared, much worse than before, causin the fibers of the chairs to flash like the li htnin of some distant cloud. 4air sank into her chair and roaned. - ave her a kiss on the cheek. #9on/t et in a lather, kitten. -/m sure this 6oint won/t ive us the bum/s rush.$ 3he pointed to the screen. #Twister/s comin/, hone" cooler. 5etter spill 9oroth"/s famil" scrambled for shelter, and our ordinar" farm irl ran throu h the rural landscape back to the farm to escape the tornado. The film felt so authentic "et otherworldl", as tornadoes had become as rare as the famil" farms the" once devastated. Thou h the film was fiction, it still hi hli hted a once%real culture and invited us into the ima ination of another time. the >and of 7:, the scarecrow, the tin man, and the cowardl" lion. ,hen the house fell, 9oroth" walked out from a sepia past into a colorful future, one that mi ht seem more real and more fantastic all at once, takin audiences alon with her. - was a ain "anked from the >and of 7:, b" a sin le streak 4air didn/t even seem to notice. -t was m" turn to roan. ,h" can/t it be real an"more2 The litches appeared whenever 4air and - were to ether, onl" rowin worse as the months went b". The ener " of the stor" drew those around us further in, and 4air had the iron will to keep her focus where she wanted it, but somethin kept drawin me back out, callin m" attention to the illusion. M" attention fell to m" surroundin s. the other movie oers, men and women, individuals and roups, those who #dressed the era$ like us, and those who preferred to sta" in modern clothin . - could hear the simulation of 4air/s entire

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breathin , smell the simulation of the butter on her popcorn, and feel the warmth of what wasn/t reall" her bod". -/m an insomniac, - thou ht. - tr" to dream like all the others, but can onl" curse the pillow beneath m" head. -t became impossible to i nore the noises comin from the front row, the sound of obno'ious kids. The" were shushed but didn/t care. 0s the movie/s villain planted poisoned flowers in the path to Emerald (it", to make the travelers fall asleep, a loud scream and lau hter erupted. 0 slampak of Tiger Blood smacked into the movie screen. The spell was broken. &eople ever"where were suddenl" shiftin in their seats and tappin on control panels. 0 badl" dressed kid with hu e foam hair stood up and "elled about how #statick$ and #wheeled$ the special effects were, to the en6o"ment of at least two loser friends. #,h" do the" even breathe2$ 4air said. #9on/t those slunks have an"thin better to do with their time2$ The roup was e6ected, the ener " drink all over the screen disappearin with them. There were a few hushed comments like #the nerve of those people$ and #see "ou never$ as the room returned to normal ? for ever"one else@ for 4air and -, bits of advertisements flickered throu h our vision, ads from elsewhere that clashed with the st"le of the theater. - heard some kind of hum and the seat colorin became red. #,h" can/t thin s 6ust work2$ 4air said as the environment be an respondin to her thou hts a ain. The seats returned to 4air/s dark blue settin and there were no more interruptions. The endin was happ", of course. 9oroth" and her do Toto returned safel" to 8ansas and the whole thin ended up bein a cra:" dream. 0s the li hts came on, patrons be an vanishin from their seats, leavin the theater alto ether@ others walked out to the lobb" to see what events Byrans

Downtown was offerin in the week to come, or to view the memorabilia and ori inal posters that members would put up for trade. The theater was an ori inal construct, its architecture and st"le modeled in the ornate spirit of the Roxy or Graumans Chinese Theater, and it was used to screen the ver" same movies those palaces had premiered so ver" lon before. The InTek servers were home to man" such constructs, includin more modern theaters for the t"pe of films 4air went for. t"picall" Nine Minutes to ndromeda st"le hi h%ener " science%fiction. The construct we ed on ever" 3unda" ni ht to watch the best of were in was meant for the serious ancient film buffs of 9"namic !ealit", a lobal communit" who lo "ester"ear. Thou h -/d onl" visited as a uest on 4air/s subscription, - reall" came to en6o" the place, even feelin a little like - belon ed. #,hat/s the time2$ #0lmost si' thirt". Gettin late on m" coast,$ she said, with the cinematic hi h obviousl" fadin in the face of a real%life sevent"%hour work week. #There/s no place like home, - uess.$ #There/s no place like Maran, either,$ - replied, tr"in not to seem desperate. #Aust for a few minutesB$ 4air smiled and plopped m" fedora onto m" head. #Gotta make tracks, pall"B make sure this 6oint/s on the up%and%up.$ 3he stood and stared at the rollin credits, losin the twentieth%centur" slan , #- won/t be able to et an" sleep if this problem isn/t fi'ed. 1ou know how - am.$ #1eah, - know how "ou are around a problem that isn/t fi'ed.$ - stood with her. #,ell, -/ll come with "ou. Ma"be we/ll still have time after.$ 3he stared at me for a few seconds. #There/s alwa"s time for a sunset,$ she conceded, offerin me her bottomless sleeve of popcorn.

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RYAN GRABOW

- looked throu h a lass wall onto the artificial cit", takin in the kind of view - mi ht et at the top of a C00%stor" buildin . The sk" was bri ht blue with puff" clouds, and birds flew in the distance where a faint rainbow was visible@ a rainbow alwa"s bein visible in such a sk", alwa"s appearin in some random direction. The sk" was alwa"s perfect, 6ust like ever"thin else in 9"namic !ealit". #-/m tr"in to open m" G<DE partition ri ht now,$ - heard 4air sa" to the customer service amai. #,hat do "ou call that2$ #,orkin B 9one. &artition G<DE is clear for use.$ - hid it as - thou ht - should, but the male voice irritated me. -n the middle of the lar e round room lined with -nTek promotional material, m" 4air was talkin about technical stuff - couldn/t understand with a man%t"pe amai. pleasant, perfect, knowin ever"thin and thinkin faster than an" human could, and "et seemin perfectl" real. Fis appearance and personalit" had been tailored to 4air/s personal tastes, what the server could make of them, and somehow those tastes never matched m" ph"sical profile. 4air was used to standin across from these overl"%handsome amai. had no reason to think she would run off with a sill" computer pro ram, but emotions weren/t so lo ical. 0 6ealous fire burned within me and - wanted to tear that pro ram to pieces or debu it or whatever. #3ame thin ,$ she said as the airG panel in front of her chan ed. Hnlike most users, she barel" lanced at the thin and never relied on the panel/s buttons. #!un an 7AI al orithm.$ 0t the be innin of that da", the da" after (hristmas, 4air took the time to check on her various accounts, makin sure the information she stored hadn/t succumbed to the annual onslau ht of hackin pro rams tar etin the holida" traffic spike. 3he discovered her -nTek account had become corrupted b" a class EJ malvirai. 0n" error code that went five%three%somethin %

somethin was virus%related, and b" definition ver" hard to fi'. #,orkin B done,$ the realistic and macho voice replied. #0l orithm e'ecuted successfull".$ #1ou/re kiddin me, ri ht2 1our root tables are all 31 driven, but the maintenance al orithms aren/t even &29&%compliant. Fere, -/m sendin "ou a ood one.$ -f the amai were pro rammed to satisf" ninet"%nine percent of their customers, 4air would alwa"s fall in the small roup that wanted to pla" technician = and probabl" could, too. 3ometimes -/d think her brain was one iant computer processor. #-/m sorr", 4eronica, -/m onl" authori:ed to e'ecute 3lidewire% certified scripts. 1ou ma" leave a repair re+uest for=$ #-/m followin up on the repair re+uest. 0re "ou helpin me or not2$ #-/m sorr", "our repair re+uest was onl" submitted nine hours a o. 0 certified=$ #&ain is what "ou are,$ she said, takin a step closer to the amai. #1ou/re supposed to be one of the most secure servers online. ,hat was "our monitorin staff doin while the da" was ettin wrecked2$ #!est assured, Miss 3ornat, that -nTek takes securit" threats ver" seriousl" and onl" uses the most reliable sentrai pro rams to=$ #7h ri ht, "ou don/t have an" monitorin staffB that would make too much sense. 1ou have bar ain basement sentrai pro rams that don/t have to be paid or iven holida"s. - can :ap an EJ on m" round terminal and in m" sleep. Ior the bi subscription "ou char e, - don/t care if a class 01 comes whirlin in to corrupt m" stuffB it should be protected. 9o "ou even have an" human bein s that - can talk to2$ The amai paused for a moment, the pro rammed response for upset customers, and leefull" delivered "et another eneric line. #-/m sorr",

CAFFEINE

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4eronica, but -nTek offices are closed until Aanuar" third. -f "ou would like to=$ #E'actl"B 0nother server where the 0-s are left in char e when the risk is hi hestK$ #!est assured, Miss 3ornat,$ the amai said after another service% friendl" pause, #that -nTek takes securit" threats ver" seriousl" and onl"=$ #1ou don/t,$ 4air said cooll". #-/m sorr", - didn/t understand the +uestion.$ 3he crossed her arms. #,asn/t a +uestion, it was a fact.$ 0nother pause. #-s there an"thin 4eronica2$ #-/ve had to put up with amai after amai toda". The"/re all pro rammed to tell me how much the" appreciate m" business but not to do the simplest thin s to keep it. 0n 0- could never understand how frustratin that ets.$ -ndeed an amai never could ;understand/ frustration, but occasionall" one seemed to tr". -t was a common malfunction for 4air to encounter, one an" e'perienced ascender could reco ni:e. The e'pression on its face locked into a sort of cross between back round processin , simulated reflection, and the continuous lee that is an amai/s prime directive. This bi:arre look alwa"s preceded an e+uall" bi:arre action. 4air/s customer service a ent closed its e"es, chuckled, and said, #-t has been a pleasure servin "our -nTek toda", wh" not tr" a ain2$ Favin seen this once%amusin +uirk far too often, m" irlfriend 6ust threw her hands up. #!ek, !ek, !ek, -/ll deal with it laterB (ommand >o offK$ The office be an to disappear around us as the reset amai bid us off with #Thank "ou for thinkin -nTek realit", en6o" us a ain soonK$ 0fter a few seconds, we were standin in front of a olden revolvin else - can do for "ou toda",

door with a lar e InTek lo o stamped above it. the entrance to one of the millions of sk"scrapers in the pla:a environment, one of the man" e'teriors re ularl" repro rammed to look more impressive than the others, and more worth" of the billboards advertisin hot new constructs and 21%da" free trials. ,e stepped out into the public data space 6ust as we would/ve walked out onto an" cit" street, alwa"s reminded b" the fantastic%lookin people and ma ical ob6ects that we weren/t in our flesh%and%blood bodies. #3tupidK -t/s all so stupidK$ #-t/s not like "ou keep an"thin important on these servers,$ - was +uick to sa", #and - know "ou make like a trillion backups. 3eriousl", did "ou reall" lose an"thin valuable2$ #No, - didn/t,$ she replied. #There wasn/t an"thin - can/t replace in a second, but - like to know that the places - store thin s are safe. - didn/t have to worr" so much about this "ears a o, but now it seems like -/m constantl" rel"in on 0-s to fi' thin s other 0-s broke. -f the owners of -nTek and the millions of companies like it would be a little more responsible, their clients would be a lot happier.$ #1eah, but artificial intelli ence ets better ever" "ear, -/m sure that b" ne't (hristmas -nTek/ll have much more powerful securit".$ #0nd much more powerful viruses for it to fail a ainst.$ #,ell,$ - said, pacin with hands in m" pockets, #3lidewire wouldn/t be makin so much mone" if their software wasn/t ood, ri ht2 Malvirai are 6ust 0-s pro rammed b" punk hackers to be evil. 0ll the companies have to do is update their securit" and=$ #The"/re all evil, 5randon, ever" one of them. - don/t care what the 0is pro rammed to do. help me, anno" me, sin to me, write me a 6a"walkin ticketB - don/t care that the" don/t think like us or know how much the"/re ruinin B$ 3he took a breath and lowered her e"es. #3orr".$

CAFFEINE

RYAN GRABOW

- stopped and faced her. #,hat/s wron , 4air2$ 3he looked at me. Fer e"es softened for a moment before the" darted awa". #- uessB the"/re cuttin m" pa" a ain.$ #7h, -/m sorr".$ #Not "our fault,$ she replied. #5etter than losin m" 6ob - uess.$ #5ut "ou deserve better.$ 3he took a moment to take in the sweet%smellin air. #,hat do "ou think, 5randon2$ she asked. #9o "ou think it was like this hundreds of "ears a o, durin that ;Great 9epression/2$ #,hat do "ou mean2$ #3impler times. 3implicit" is supposed to be a ood thin , ri ht2 Guess -/m thinkin whether all this ;advancement/ has made hard times better or worse.$ #,ellB The" didn/t have artificial intelli ence in the 1*<0/s. - don/t think the" even had computers.$ 3he faced me with a look of adoration, reachin up and runnin her hand throu h m" dirt" blond hair. #&ersonall", - wouldn/t want to live in a time when electricit" was a lu'ur"@ but if it means no 0-sB$ 3he removed her hand and shru ed her shoulders. #,h" think that wa"2 - know that ettin rid of ever"thin won/t solve problems. ,e need to make the future better instead of tr"in to live in the past. -t/s 6ust that sometimes - wish all the noise would o awa", that/s all. The" shouldn/t tr" to replace people with ,e started walkin down the street. #9idn/t "ou sa" somethin like that when "our 0%site switched over2$ #GreenTek. That/s wh" - ascend from home now. 1ou rememberB$ 3he pointed to her forehead. #-t/s a small device, 5randon. 1ou/ll never need the public booths a ain.$ computers, the"/re 6ust toolsB (omputers, - mean, not people.$

#- don/t know, the booths aren/t so bad. M" site still has real people lookin over it.$ #Ior how much lon er2 7ne of the people at GreenTek was a friend of mine, she ot thrown into one of those overnment ;prosperit"/ pro rams and the" made her sell her condo. Trust me, the da" is comin when "ou/re onna walk out and find a computer pro ram watchin the place. No warnin . ,hen that da" comes, - recommend the &0Ms made b" MaldoranB the"/re compatible with prett" much ever" 3N9> ever made and, since "ou 6ust have the standard base implants, the setup shouldn/t take more than a few minutes. 1ou can 6ust din me if "ou need help.$ #Thin s are a little better out in (alifornia, 4air. -n fact, when "ou et sick of the pa" cuts, "ou can alwa"s come live with me in >0.$ 0 silent moment passed as she allowed the last of her tension to evaporate. #,e/ll see,$ she said, #- 6ust wish the lamewads in ,ashin ton would put two and two to ether and do somethin to stop this. 1ou know, chan e the law=$ - felt a whoosh and somethin slammed into m" chest. 3omeone flew in between us ? someone fast ? nearl" knockin me over. The kid stopped in the distance and stared back at us. Fe looked disheveled and dark hair came down to cover much of his face. M" e"es were drawn to somethin limmerin around his neck. 0 chain. 0 dirt" and worn card had been left in m" hand, bearin the ima e of a skeleton ridin a horse. 7n the top the card said #9E0TF.$ - sprun the creep" thin from m" hand and it fell to the walkwa". - looked up a ain and the kid was one. #-t/s a tarot card,$ 4air said. #9on/t ? 9on/t pick it up, it mi ht ? - don/t know ? have some bad code on it or somethin K$

CAFFEINE

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#Aust some kid tr"in to mess with "our head.$ 3he held the card between her fin ers and it vanished. #3ee2 9eleted. 0t least - ot to fi' one problem toda".$ - leaned on a wall and took some deep breaths. #,ell,$ she said, # uess that was prett" stran e. 0re "ou all ri ht2$ #1eahB 8ids,$ - said. #-f it/s not slunks throwin soft drinks at the cowardl" lion, it/s otta be somethin else, ri ht2$ #1eah, kidsB with their Model Ts and their (oca (ola, dancin the Rock and Roll. ;To hell in a handbasket,/ however that/s supposed to work.$ ,e both lau hed. #- see "ou/re doin more research behind m" back, but - think the dance was called ;the (harleston./$ #,ell, whateverB now - definitel" can/t sleep,$ 4air said. #Ior et real life and ever"thin close to it. >et/s et awa". >et/s et awa" from all of them.$

few "ears earlier, Maran had been a popular settin the resources we could mine, and so on.

for fiction and

speculation. on the life forms that lived there, the cities we could build there, ,hen the probe revealed Maran to be "et another dead rock, the stories ended and price" top%+ualit" simulations of the planet became practicall" free. The speculators buried their old work and picked new planets as audiences stood waitin for the ne't bi fren:". #E'ploration is dead,$ 4air once said durin a ni ht there. #0nother planet supportin life wouldn/t have to resemble Earth this much, would it2 The"/re 6ust cop"in and pastin their own perfect visions of Earth onto ever" star in the sk" and seein if mone" comes out@ then some truth is revealed and ever"one whines for two da"s, until the"/re iven somethin else to distract them. ("cle complete.$ 4air/s opinion of modern science alwa"s ran hot%cold, for reasons ver" personal to her. 3till, she felt she had a ri ht to bask in the knowled e of mankind and 6ud e the value of ever"thin . 3ometimes the trips to Maran would inspire her to talk science with me, a sub6ect -/d wanted nothin to do

The star called !"nki slowl" dropped below the western hori:on@ its ra"s e'ploded into ever" shade between amber and violet and shimmered off the surface of the Aunei 7cean. Maran/s thick 3aturn%like rin s faded over the water, waitin to be revealed as a brilliant arch in the northern ni ht sk". ,e sat on the beautiful rass and listened to the melod" of the ocean waves on the beach below. 4air/s 6et%black hair danced in the li ht bree:e, her head restin on m" shoulder. The air was fresh and smelled sweet, 6ust as all the air was sweet in 9"namic !ealit". 7f all the real and fictional landscapes a couple could en6o", we chose that beach in Maran/s southern hemisphere as our spot. Maran was a real place rendered fiction@ a far%off planet once thou ht to resemble Earth. Aust a

with since colle e, but which she had a wa" of ettin me cau ht up in. would start rememberin facts and ar ue a ainst her, even mana in to chan e a couple of her theories over the months. - never e'pected her reaction to m" small victories, thou h@ she en6o"ed losin more than winnin , because it meant she learned somethin new. There was no debate that da". - ran m" hand throu h her lon hair, seein her as the fra ile and precious woman -/d once known her as. Fer vanitar was surprisin l" true to real%life. in a crowd of leopard%striped, platinum%e"ed divers, hers was embellished onl" b" a stripe of indi o runnin down her hair. 3he was alwa"s so confident and secure, sometimes even lettin her individualit" et the better of her, but alwa"s sta"in respectful and

CAFFEINE

RYAN GRABOW

open to others. -t was hard to believe that the first time we met, - saw her as a bird with a broken win . shattered, desperate, and talkin suicide. - onl" did what an" human bein would. 4air was the natural%born dau hter of two veetoo parents. The" split up when she was onl" ei ht months old and she spent her earl" childhood bein shuffled between mother and father like lu a e, until one of them left suddenl" to live on Mars. 4air learned to i nore her pain and succeeded in spite of it, competin well a ainst the lab%born son her mother trul" wanted. Even in school, thou h, 4air felt like an outcast. Thou h she wasn/t a veetoo herself, the normal children re6ected her because she bore the marks of enetic en ineerin . The veetoo children also re6ected her, because she wasn/t born in a lab. -n time, the "oun 4air simpl" decided a ainst wantin friends, because others couldn/t be trusted. Fer mother would talk about how eu enics was the future of mankind and how 4air and her half%brother 9ean were livin proof of mankind/s triumph over nature. 4air ea erl" studied enetics, believin it would brin her closer to her mother, until she found herself challen in a popular theor". 4air was surprised when her mother didn/t approve and it was the first time she felt she had to choose between #lo ic versus politics.$ 3he couldn/t understand wh" people hated her. The" would spend so man" hours preachin ideas about life but, for all her mind was fed, her heart was allowed to starve. 3he had no knowled e of how to identif" pain or release it. 5" her fifteenth birthda", the walls between 4air and her mother had rown hi her. 3he moved out the same week and tried to for et about famil". -t made her feel better, at first. -n 4air/s senior "ear of colle e, her father contacted her@ he/d moved back and wanted to be a part of his dau hter/s life a ain. Ior reasons she franticall" of

didn/t understand, she accepted the offer and be an meetin with him in 9"namic !ealit". Fer father had taken up drinkin , thou h, and the whim% driven bondin sessions became meanin less and empt". 3he came to despise her father and tried to stop seein him, but he saw throu h her stron front and took advanta e of her fra ile emotional state. 4air kept visitin . 4air kept pretendin . Ior all the stren th she had, no knowled e or i norance could hold it an" lon er. Thou h she never reco ni:ed the dam holdin back inside her, it had been real, and it was finall" startin to burst, causin a lifetime of buried pain to overtake her in the blink of an e"e. The stran e part was. - didn/t even want to be where - was that da". The audible clock announced the top of the hour in its pleasant omnipresent voice. - wiped the moisture from m" e"es and noticed the sun had set, leavin onl" a faint low on the hori:on. - also noticed 4air had been a little too successful in for ettin her bus" schedule. - nud ed her back into lucidit". #1ou heard the man, better et some sleep.$ 3he roaned and didn/t move, #-/m sick of computers. 1ou tell me what time it is.$ #-t/s ei ht :eroes, and "ou/ve ot mone" to make tomorrow.$ 3he slowl" ot up and composed herself. #-s ever"thin ood for New 1ears2$ she asked. 0 pulse of an'iet" went throu h me. #1eah,$ - replied, tr"in to recall the plan we/d made. #The train tickets are waitin in m" mailbo'. -/ll leave Thursda" ni ht and meet "ou in Times 3+uare around noonB if it arrives on time.$ #- can meet "ou in &enn 3tation if it/s easier.$ #0hB$ - stood up. #0fter that fort" hour train ride2 ,h" not2$

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RYAN GRABOW

#(ome on, it/ll be 6ust like the last time "ou came to see me. "ou/ll order an 0mber &lus from the dinin car, download some architectural 6ournal, bur" "ourself in it, and then the conductor/ll have to wake "ou up.$ No, - thou ht. This won/t be like the last time. - felt a hand on m" shoulder. #-s ever"thin all ri ht, 5randon2$ 4air asked. #1ou seem a littleB off.$ - took a deep breath, pushin sorrow awa", and told m"self to smile. #7h, "ou know. ,ork stuff. 1ou know how useless prosperit" a ents are. Nothin to worr" about. -/ll have real work soon enou h, an"wa"B the west coast is ood like that. 0ll - have to do is dream it and there/ll be a 6ob.$ #5ut what ood is a dream that doesn/t become realit"2$ 7ur e"es locked for a moment, and - couldn/t tell whether she was bein her usual co" self or dead serious. -s it reall" possible2 9oes she reall" care about me2 #,ell, "ou know,$ she said. #Thin s will work out, "ou have talent and someone has to see it eventuall".$ 3he lifted the sleeve of her ri ht arm, e'posin the descender around her wrist. The an'iet" rushed back, but - knew - had to let her o. #5ack to the real world,$ - said to fill the silence. #(ra:ies and all.$ #,e all otta o back sometime, or else where/s the fun of ettin awa"2$ 3he smiled, usin the point she/d made to slin shot her mood into somethin more ener etic. #0ll ri ht, slo%mo,$ she teased, holdin her descender in front of me. #-f "ou/re the one left standin this time, -/ll be e'tra nice ne't movie and let "ou have some popcorn.$ #9urin one of "our weeks to pick2$ - said, absentl" scratchin m" head. #1ou don/t even eat popcorn durin those movies.$ awa".$

#9urin Citi#en $ane, then.$ - lifted m" arm halfwa". #0ctuall", - still have somethin to do up here. -/m not even tired.$ #7hB 3ure.$ 3he shru ed her shoulders and put her hand on the button. #Then -/ll see "ou Irida".$ - nodded. #1eahB Irida". No force in nature will be able to keep me 4air smiled and nearl" pressed the button of her descender. #7h, ri htB (ra:ies. 9on/t be surprised if "ou see a lot of star% a:ers runnin around down there. 9ean= uhB$ M" e"es widened in interest. #9eanB$ - repeated, hopin she/d finish the sentence. 4air let out a soft lau h, tr"in to muddle throu h her discomfort. #1eah, he started respondin to m" messa es a ain.$ 0 rin formed on m" face and rew lar e. - felt like a bo" who 6ust found his pupp". Too much 6o" too fast, thou h. 4air stashed it awa" and si hed. #don/t even know wh" - felt like talkin to him a ain. Fe put me on his ;friends/ list and now - keep ettin all these pointless forwarded messa es about some supernova in the sk". 0n"wa", - 6ust wanted "ou to know. -t/s a new shin" ob6ect and "ou know how the public loves shin" thin s.$ #5ut 4air, "ou love cosmolo ". - can/t remember the last time we saw a supernova. -t/s e'citin .$ That mana ed to brin a little of her smile back. #-/d hope "ou don/t remember, last supernova bein almost a thousand "ears a o.$ 3he reached up and put a hand on m" shoulder. #- don/t know if - care an"moreB -/m sure it/ll be a feature on all the cosmolo " sites. -/ll look at the data and ma"be somethin /ll catch me. 0n"wa"B$

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- put m" hand over her descender. #- know "ou still love 9ean. Ma"be he/s ettin fed up in that house. Fe/ll need to rel" on his bi sister.$ #5i sister,$ she repeated, as if she never considered the title before, but thou ht it mi ht be a ood one to have. #3tandard !ealit" is tou h sometimes@ but remember -/m there, tooB onl" a din awa".$ - kissed her, wantin to ive her somethin to brin her throu h the work week, to sa" nothin of m" own. 5ut the contact reminded me of the distance about to come between us, and - couldn/t bear the thou ht. - felt was about to burst. Embarrassed, - moved m" fin er to press the button and felt m" lips lose contact with hers. -n her descender/s millisecond%speed, 4air/s vanitar was one from the d"namic universe. - was alone a ain. There was no li ht left on the hori:on. - collapsed onto the round, facin the simulated ni ht sk" and tr"in to calm m"self. The ticket from 5"ran/s 9owntown slipped out of m" pocket. - picked it up from the rass and felt it with m" fin ertips, thinkin on all the e'periences we/d shared in both worlds. -t fri htened me to think that, in time, she would discover the man - trul" was. - thou ht when that da" came, mi ht have nothin left. >ike a character in a movie, - was sure that da" would be when the reel of m" life would reach its end and - would fade awa". ,ho was - in love with2 ,as it the bird with the broken win , who needed me2 7r was it the woman she was free to become around me, who seemed to need2 - looked at the ticket. nothin more than a formalit" ? a souvenir for those tr"in to make the e'perience more authentic. -t was her authenticit" that brou ht out the best in me, - thou ht. Fer authenticit" was how we started oin to Byrans. - told 4air - lived in >0, she commented about it bein the movie capital of the world, and - told her

how much - liked ancient film. -t was an idle thou ht, but she used it to make m" own interest more special. -t was as - thou ht. she was makin me more real. 5ut - don/t deserve authenticit", - thou ht as - threw the ticket into the wind. - knew she wanted to patch thin s up with her brother, and "es, - was the one who encoura ed her@ but who was - to do such a thin B when couldn/t stand the si ht of m" own brotherB when - could never for ive him for what he/d done to me. More tears came, tears - was lad she wasn/t there to see. - e'pected some difference to take 4air awa", 6ust like ever" other irl, 6ust like ever" other person in m" life@ but as the months passed, - loved her more and m" dreams for our future rew bi er. - let the dreams row. - committed m"self to them in spite of her dim view of famil" and marria e, even as those scars be an to appear as a ceilin to m" love. - closed m" e"es and thou ht a ain about the moment -/d been valuable to her, when she was torn to pieces b" her life. That/s not a future. 0nd if that terrible memor" is all - have to offer herB - la" on the rass for several minutes. -n m" memor", the dunes of an >0 beach surrounded me@ it was the +uestion - had asked two da"s before, as la" starin at the ni ht sk". - reali:ed the stars of Maran were the same as the stars of Earth. - reali:ed - was starin at a cheap, twinklin cop". - 6umped to m" feet screamin inhumanl" into the air. - remembered the feelin of peace that came over me the other ni ht and cried, knowin no such feelin e'isted, scoldin m"self for bein such a fool. - knew - hadn/t asked an" stupid host or alien for an answer. - knew no such thin s e'isted, and that no one could hear me. - knew the onl" difference between fake%9! and real%3! was the bill the" sent me for time spent.

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- moved m" hand to m" descender, unwillin to perceive fake rass, stars, and oceans an" lon er. ,hatever realit" reall" was, it wouldn/t let me sta" in an illusion an" more. Ever"thin of value to me was now in the other world, down in the world - called 3tandard !ealit".

be names of mana ers and len th" data on their state operator licenses, it now simpl" said. #1our amai was Erica.$ - closed the file, deleted the file, reformatted the data space where the file had been, and tried to put it out of m" mind and focus on where - was oin . The buildin s around me became newer and newer, finall" liftin off the round, so a forest of trees mi'ed with a forest of pillars. Ever"one

- cursed when the booth/s panel onl" bu::ed at me, kickin the door from the inside until it offlined itself. - stepped into the hallwa" and waited for the fo to clear in m" head, and for m" e"es to stop burnin in the dim li htin . - chu starvin . The outside air beckoned to me as - walked into the lobb". 0 few kids in full slunk%foamer re alia looked up and be an to shout amon themselves about who would et the vacated booth. #- hope "ou en6o"ed "our e'perience, Mister 9auphin. 1ou/ll be happ" to know toni ht/s char e of fift"%five%fort"%four ninet" fulfills "our Economic 3timulus re+uirement for this "ear.$ - scratched m" e"es, rubbin the sleep out. #,ell, that/s ood. Not a moment too soon, eh2$ 3he lau hed. -t was a lau h that sounded far too familiar. - looked and reali:ed the usual rouch" man wasn/t watchin the store. #Thank "ou for usin Leph"rTek,$ she continued with di itall"%precise lee. #0lwa"s low prices, alwa"s reat customer service. &lease come back soon.$ The wind on 4enice 5lvd. was unusuall" cold, and puddles from the da"/s rain were still on the sidewalks. - opened the statement the 0%site sent to m" 3N9> implant and 6umped strai ht to the end. ,here there would alwa"s ed water from the fountain and rabbed m" windbreaker, ea er to et to the beach. The chemical stabili:er was wearin off and - was

thou ht >0/s moderni:ation was makin the cit" more beautiful, but it 6ust ave the chill" wind more paths to take. 0s - pulled m" ra ed windbreaker ti hter around me, cursin silentl" at the cold, another one of the pests came from beside me so abruptl" m" heart nearl" 6umped into m" throat. #Fow "a doin 2 (old ni ht, huh2$ 0 tall, bleached blonde woman. Fer personalit" and clothin were e'actl" what men like me were supposed to o for, e'actl" the kind of charm men like me welcomed. - locked m" e"es to m" steps ahead and picked up m" pace, thou h - knew i norin her was futile. #1ou know what 4ent/s E'treme is doin specialsK 1ou should elevator near the end of the block. #Aust please 6ust o awa".$ #1ou know,$ she continued, #4ent/s was rated the top ni ht club in >os 0n eles in a recent surve". 4ent/s has all the hottest sled %ek from all the bi est bands. Eleven Hnder, -nsane E'plosion, 3i' 3i' 3i'B$ - broke into a sprint, stoppin when she materiali:ed ri ht in front of me.
#1ou know how hi hl" 4ent/s E'treme holds customer service2 4ent/s=$

toni ht2 Falf%off drink

oK$ 3he pointed to the club/s well%lit entrance, an

#0ctuall", - don/t knowK - don/t want to knowK Ma"be with an" luck, "ou/ll leave me alone and -/ll never knowK$ -n that instant, - saw how attractive she was and m" mind betra"ed me. #Go awa"K$ - shouted at the top

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of m" lun s. #5eat itK >eave me aloneK$ Ever"one on the block looked up, takin a moment to lau h before the" returned to what the" were doin . The holo ram in m" wa" vanished. 0s if the obno'ious pop%up billboards aren/t bad enou h, - thou ht. must have a shirt on that sa"s #3ell Me 3omethin .$ 0s m" shoes finall" hit the beach sand, - noticed floodli hts ahead. 0 iant sandcastle sat before me. one far be"ond m" e'perience of overturnin a pail of sand and pokin fin er holes for windows. 3omehow the si ht was peaceful to me. #Nice, huh2 Took him si' da"s,$ said a short man standin ne't to me. 0 bo", "oun er than even the slunks who fou ht over m" ascension booth, came into view around the side of the castle. Fe looked happ" and determined, as if a true builder at heart@ but far too "oun to build such a behemoth in si' da"s, or even to et all the e'tra sand he should have needed. #Aust him2$ #,ell, friend, - sure can/t build somethin like that.$ Fe lau hed. #Ieel kinda unworth" 6ust lookin at it.$ - s+uinted m" e"es and saw somethin else, a bri ht point of li ht that wasn/t one of the floodli hts. #,hat/s that in the sk"2$ #-sn/t it beautiful how that li ht 6ust seems to complement ever"thin 2 -/ve seen it without the floodli hts and it/s spectacular.$ #5ut what is it2$ #7h, "ou don/t know2$ The man looked at me. #-t/s a supernova.$ - saw others min lin and admirin the "oun builder, with a stead" stream of new people addin to the crowd. #,ell,$ - said, #it/s ver" nice, but this stuff isn/t for me. Thanks an"wa".$ 0 %lammers concession stand was located alon the 7cean Iront ,alk. The stand alwa"s had the same teena er behind the counter. a bo" with lon

black hair and a chain around his neck. Fe was alwa"s clean cut and kind. e'actl" the sort of person who should keep their 6ob in a slow econom". #Fow "ou doin 2$ - asked, lad to be talkin to someone real a ain. #0h, 5randon. Fow are "ou doin toda"2$ the bo" asked with a smile. Fe placed a slampak of 0mber &lus and a 5oost 5ar on the counter. #0ctuall", uhB - was thinkin about tr"in somethin a little stron er toda".$ Fis e"es widened with interest and his smile rew lar er. 3omethin in the re+uest thrilled him, but when he turned to see what he had, he stopped. #3ure2$ #,ell, - don/t know,$ - said. #The &AM 6ust isn/t workin for me like it used to. 9o "ou have an" (ode ,hite, or 3parcB the" alwa"s show sloths 6umpin around in their ads, ma"be that means it/ll wake me up better.$ #5randon,$ he said kindl", #wh" the chan e2 1ou/ve been drinkin 0mber for as lon as - can remember.$ #,h" an"thin 2 - don/t know. - 6ust have this na in feelin like should chan e somethin B it/s weird.$ - couldn/t resist the ur e to look at the scene behind me. #- can/t see the li ht from this an le. &rett" wheeled for "ou, - uess. havin the supernova blocked b" the castle here. This stand is mobile, ma"be "ou should move it.$ #-t/s 6ust a starB No need to have it shinin in m" e"es all the time.$ The star was much bri hter than - thou ht. #1eah, - uess "ou/re ri ht,$ - said, blinkin and returnin to the counter. #Iort"%five,$ he said he unlocked the slampak. #,hat2$ #1ou/ve had a hard da", 5randon. -/ll 6ust char e "ou half price.$ #,ow, thanks. Fow/d "ou know2$ The bo" shru ed his shoulders and slid the lowin can of 0mber

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&lus across the counter, its voice chip speakin revelin in its familiar boost of ener ".

the mandator" health

- saw the kid s+uint his e"es a little. - was castin a faint shadow on the counter. #,ell, if bein serious with that irl is what "ou want, then it/s the ri ht thin to do.$ #No,$ - said hesitantl". #-t has to be deeperB more realB$ - turned to see what was so bri ht behind me, but all - saw were the people and the castle. The kid leaned over the counter and put his hand on m" shoulder. #5randon, what/s more real than "our own desires2$ - thou ht about the +uestion, looked up and swiped m" wrist on the vendreader, char in fort"%five dollars to m" accounts. #1ou/re ri ht,$ - said to him. #0s alwa"s.$

warnin s. - +uickl" onlined the drink, feelin the &AM enter m" bloodstream, #Aust remember those halo%hotties never last lon ,$ the bo" said. #&eople usuall" et tired of ;em after a monthB can/t ima ine wh", thou h.$ #No, not like thatK$ - corrected, more ea erl" than - knew. #NotB not like that at all.$ #7h, how could - for et,$ the bo" replied, sharin none of the surprise at m" own outburst. #That irl from (onnecticut, ri ht2$ #4eronica.$ #3o she loves "ou, then2$ #- ? - think so.$ #>ove is such a wonderful and useful thin , 5randon. 1ou/d be surprised what "ou can make someone else do when the" have real emotions. -t/s like divertin the unstoppable power of a river.$ #,ellB - don/t know. Ma"be love isn/t a thin we/re supposed to manipulate. Ma"be it/s somethin that should bloom like a flower.$ #0nd that/s wh" "ou/re unhapp",$ he said. #The successful relationship is the one "ou control. The ones who don/t take char e are the ones who et walked on their whole lives. 9o it "our own wa", there is no other answer.$ - looked at him blankl". Hsuall", - was ood at 6ud in people/s emotions b" their e"es, bod" lan ua e, and speech. - felt a little uncomfortable then, but didn/t know wh". #3ometimes, - think certain thin s weren/t meant to die. ,hat - mean isB - don/t know what - mean. - 6ust know - think there/s somethin - want to know. Ma"be it/s some ;fate/ stuff like people talk about all the time. m" place in the universe, nature/s plan for me, ma"be even bi er than that.$

- let m"self in and walked down the hallwa". drab, peelin wallpaper for the e"e, creak" boards reetin m" ever" step, and ci ar smoke thick enou h to taste. 5ill/s ;office/ was in his kitchen, where he could alwa"s be found with a reas" meal or ci ar in one hand and the other on the roundtemB not that he ever did much work with it. #5illK -t/s 5randon, what/s the ood wo=$ Fis hard voice broke in from down the hallwa". #Go home, 9auphinK 8oreans ot it.$ 5ill was a lonel" man well into his nineties with leather for skin and thin, unkempt hair. Fe had a wife and a son, once. 5efore - learned not to like him, we touched on the sub6ect of famil" and it became obvious it wasn/t a comfortable sub6ect. The rumor - heard was that his son died in an accident. 5ill flicked the ci ar onto the ashtra" but didn/t look awa" from the roundtem monitor.

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#1ou should/ve 6ust shot me a=$ (ou h. #3hot me a din. No need to walk all this wa" 6ust=so -=$ (ou h. (ou h. #3o - could tell "ou to bu:: off. Told "a. 8oreans.$ (ou h. #- keep tellin "ou - like the e'ercise. Now ? what ? do ? "ou ? have ? for ? me2$ - leaned over his desk, but he still stared at his roundtem. #5ill,$ - said, wantin to shout it. #Nada. Lilch. >ike - keep tellin "ou, what the -ndians and Mor=$ (ou h. #Moroccans don/t et, 8orea does. (heck back in two weeks.$ #1ou alwa"s sa" that. 5ill, - need mone". - 6ust bou htB$ - closed m" e"es and calmed m"self. #!eall", -/m be ,eeks.$ (ou h. #1eah, - heard that part. - can/t wait two weeks. 1ou/re m" ;prosperit"/ a entB it/s "our 6ob to keep me emplo"ed.$ #9on/t like it2 Iile another complaint with the state office. - don/t care an"more.$ #1ou don/t care2 This is m"B$ The thou ht vanished from m" mind, and - felt ver" small. Ior a moment, - +uestioned how important a few dollars reall" were. - +uestioned whether the bad econom" mi ht have been as hard on 5ill as it was on me. +uestioned wh" - was ettin so mad, and - +uestioned what the purpose of an er would be if there reall" weren/t a 6ob for him to rant. #1ou don/t need a doctor or somethin , do "ou kid2 1ou know, - don/t have the kind of pull - used to with the health board.$ - let o of the desk and took a step back, rubbin m" forehead. -/d broken into a cold sweat. 0 sense of ven eance rose up within me, and remembered what the server at %lammers said about takin char e. allB$ in here.$ (ou h. #,hat part of ;two weeks/ don/t "ou understand2 Two.

#- have a desire and nothin else mattersK$ 5ill moved his ci ar to his mouth and looked back to the roundtem. #Good for "ou, kid.$ The words didn/t do what - wanted. M" rash attempt at takin char e onl" succeeded at embarrassin me. #- didn/t mean that ? - mean, - did, but ? there/s somethin -/m plannin ne't week ? on New 1ear/s, it cost me a lot of mone". - know there/s no reason for "ou to help me, but - reall" need it. - need to do somethin , an"thin , to feel like -/m useful to someone, to feel like - can supportB someone, if she/ll have me.$ 3ilence filled the room. 5ill finall" ave his attention to me, his dulled brown e"es on the ver e of wettin , as if he heard ever" word - didn/t sa". #There was a timeB when a soldier could serve a few "ears, settle down, et a ood 6ob and make a ood livin .$ Fis a:e fell toward the desk, focusin on nothin in particular. #- wish "ou kids the best, reall" - do, butB it/s not the wa" it was a centur" or two a oB and there/s nothin - can do to save m" life that/ll ive "ou another dollar. That/s 6ust the world and -/m sorr".$ Ior a moment, the onl" sound in the room was from the entle waves crashin on the beach outside. 5ill sat up and cou hed a ain. #,hat/s a dead do like me know an"wa"2 Go spend the time with "our irl.$ (ou h. #5usiness hours start back up in two weeks. - alwa"s et somethin then. Fapp" New 1ear in the meantime.$ (ou h. ,ith that, he puffed on his ci ar and put his e"es back on the roundtem. - knew -/d seen a side of 5ill rarel" shown. 0bsentmindedl" - took a step toward the hall. #3he/s workin until Irida". -f "ou have an"thin at 5ill si hed. #,hen - was "our a e, we didn/t have the fanc"

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download%the%whole%fri in/%net%in%two%seconds implants.$ Fe pulled out a worn book and put it on the desk in front of me. #5ack then, we read printB$ Fe tapped his fin er on the cover. #Nothin to do2 Get some common sense.$ (ou h. The book was titled Destiny for a New &ou. -ts cover had a chimpan:ee starin up at a departin HI7. t"pical artwork for an"thin advocatin Destiny 'f 'rdered Mankind. -n m" mind, - saw those people atherin around the sandcastle and their devotion to the kid who built it. - wondered whether the alien%plants%seed 6unk was an" different. #7ne star oes boom and suddenl" all mankind loses their minds.$ - slid the book back across the desk. #,hat star2$ - looked at him like he was an idiot. #The supernova. ,here have "ou been2 -t/s outside "our house ri ht now.$ #,ell, -/m sure it/s ver" nice,$ he replied in the same condescendin wa", #but that stuff isn/t for me. Thanks an"wa".$ - drank from m" slampak and started back down the hallwa". #Aust make sure "our new reli ion doesn/t et in the wa" of m" career, oka"2$ #!eli ion2 ,hat/s in "our head, kid2 The (elestials are out there, it/s proved b" scienceK$ #!ek, !ek, !ek,$ - muttered as - stepped outside, thinkin of how -/d wasted another fifteen minutes of m" life.

in a deca"in ruin. The last two "ears had one b" so impossibl" fast, and was ashamed how lon it/d been since m" last serious attempt to land work. ,h" should - ive up2 There are still a few real 6obs left. - have a desire, andB - stopped walkin and stared at the sand ne't to m" shoes. Band -/m not the onl" one with a desire. There will alwa"s be better people than me, waitin to take ever"thin - have. The wind died down and - heard footsteps ahead of me. 0 man was approachin from the nearb" docks. 8nowin how much cops patrolled that stretch of beach, - started walkin slowl", pa"in close attention to m" 3N9> to make sure - was sta"in on the beaches # reen path$. the unmarked and alwa"s%shiftin :one where it/s le al to walk. - became more self%conscious with each step, tr"in to cover the slampak with m" windbreaker, hopin this u" didn/t notice it strobin colors, hopin he would 6ust i nore me. >e islation clun like ma nets to ever" environmental +uirk, rare species, or powerful person/s whim in that place. - knew laws were the price of walkin on a real beach in the real world, that the" were essential to civili:ation. Then wh" should - be so nervous ever" time - see one of these u"s, - wondered as - felt m" pulse speed up and be an losin feelin in m" le s. - looked awa" from the man, then remembered to slow m" pace, then looked somewhere else because lookin at one thin too lon is suspicious, then remembered to pull m" windbreaker a little ti hter, while tr"in to think if - was doin an"thin else ille al. 0 break formed in the clouds over the ocean.

The emotion faded as - walked alon the border between land and sea, deepenin the reali:ation that - had no hope. 0t the mere a e of twent"%five, saw m"self as a dead do . (omin to (alifornia was supposed to open doors for me, but it seemed all - did was throw m" histor" awa" and tr" to start over

- stopped. 0fter what ma" have been seconds or hours, - became aware of the other man a ain. - blinked and saw nothin more than a point of li ht in space, so - looked awa". ri ht at a shinin >0&9 bad e han in from the

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man/s shirt pocket. M" a:e fell absentl" to the sand and the slampak that slipped from m" hand. - was overcome b" a familiar sinkin feelin as stared at the spilled oran e li+uid. ei ht" thousand dollars for possession on a beach, fift"%five thousand for pollution, plus the mandator" court appearance. -f the officer/s in a ood mood, he mi ht stop there. #,h" are "ou lookin down2$ he said. #>ook up at the sk".$ 0n impulse sur ed in me, enou h to snap me out of m" fro:en state and brin me to look him in the e"e. #-s that an order, sir2$ #0bsolutel" not.$ - narrowed m" e"es, not sure what to think about him. - could see his bad e, the onl" mark he wore that hinted at his emplo"er, and - knew he could fine me and test me and arrest me and whatever else the laws said, and that should have been tr"in to think of e'cuses and defenses, fi urin out the patrolman/s soft%spot and how to take advanta e of it, but m" infuriation was bein pulled awa", and m" thou hts abandoned as foolishness. - did want to look at the sk" a ain, - reali:ed, and so - did, and of m" own free will. The li ht was several times stron er than the bri htest stars. The clouds shifted a ain, and it seemed ridiculous to me that somethin so small and local should block somethin so hu e and universal. #-t/s been there since last ni ht. (osmolo ists think it/s the lar est event ever witnessed in this ala'". a nova so lar e that it affected its entire re ion of space, its li ht stron enou h to cut throu h the vacuum and be seen at a distance reater than an"thin we/ve known. 0nd b" the naked e"e, at that.$ #That/s ama:in ,$ - said, as if the one standin ne't to me were a lifelon friend. #-t makes "ou think about how we/re all made of stardust, "ou know2$ #9oes that thou ht impress "ou2$

-t took a moment for the +uestion to catch up to me. M" si ht fell a ain to the Earth. #7f course it impresses me. >on after -/m dead and cremated, the stars/ll keep shinin . That/s impressive, isn/t it2$ The man looked off as if thinkin about a pu::le. #-t certainl" sounds impressive, but there/s a limit built into the statement. -t/s likeB$ he bent down and picked up a handful of sand, #it/s like sa"in . ;,ow, - can hold rains of sand that look 6ust like all the other rains of sand on the beach./ 9oes that sound like a life%chan er to "ou, 5randon 9auphin2$ #,ell, no. Not when "ou sa" it like that.$ Fe rabbed m" slampak from the sand and rose to his feet. #,ords have meanin s, don/t be afraid to test them b" lookin throu h a different vanta e point.$ - looked at the slampak in his hand, rememberin m" uilt and his 6ob. #,ell, "ou/re one to talk about limits, sir. -s it the law now for "ou to tear down the thin s - believe in, too2 ,hat is the meanin of that no%drink law2 ,h" don/t we test that now2$ #Most people don/t care. The" come to the beach and talk about how much the" love ever"thin about it, complainin if the temperature is wron or the waves are too loud or the H4%screen isn/t workin 6ust ri ht, thenB$ he dropped m" can back onto the sand, #the" leave their arba e all over and contribute to the same problems the" claim to hate, wantin the overnment to bab"%sit them. 3o, over time, overnments learned to.$ - hesitated, wishin he would o awa", unsure if he meant to char e me with an"thin . #5ut -/m not contributin to the problems, - alwa"s=$ - bit m" lip. #This one time, - meant to finish it and throw it awa" in a rec"clin bin. 3erious.$ #,h" should intentions matter to me2$ he said as a stream of sand poured from his hand. #The law sa"s "ou/re 6ust like ever"one else. an

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irresponsible polluter who should be punished until he learns his lesson. The law sa"s "ou were uilt" the minute "ou set foot on this beach, or at least that - can detain "ou and make "ou spend months provin otherwise. 0re "ou ever"one else, Mister 9auphin2 7r are "ou an individual. someone with a heart and a mind and a spirit and the abilit" to take actions that are consistent with his own beliefs2 0re "ou someone who can sa" somethin and mean it2$ #-/m sorr",$ - replied. #-t was a mistake. -/m not like ever"one else. -/m tellin "ou -/ll obe" the law and -/m sa"in more than 6ust words.$ #5ut laws aren/t for "ou thanks an"wa". -f we repealed ever" law in the world, what would "ou do2$ Fe retrieved m" can a second time and held it up. #&ollute2$ #- wasn/t pollutin .$ #3peedin , then.$ #- wasn/t walkin over the limit.$ #Fow about robbin a bank2$ #That/s some +uestion for a cop to ask.$ Fe didn/t respond. #7ka"B sure. - need mone". ,h" not rob a bank if it/s le al2 -/d 6ust be robbin from some reed" corporation. Then the overnment would 6ust bail them out and the" can/t prosecute me.$ #Then "ou robbed the H.3. overnment.$ #1eah, even better.$ #5ut not an elderl" woman or a child2$ #No wa".$ #,h" not2$ - 6ust looked at him, hopin he didn/t mean for me to answer. #,h" are "ou askin me to rob an old lad"2 0re "ou sick in the head or somethin 2$

Fe smiled. #No. -/m not askin "ou to do an"thin , these are 6ust +uestions. -/m curious to e'amine "our values.$ Fe looked down. #,hat do "ou think, should - put m" name on it2 3hould - boast about it2$ #,hat2$ The officer indicated the small pile of sand in front of him, which covered the oran e spot from m" spilled ener " drink. #,ho am - to build an"thin 2$ he asked, barel" loud enou h to be heard over the bree:e. #The tide and the wind won/t let this last ver" lon , and what it/s covered will be e'posed a ain.$ #>ook, sir. - don/t know what kind of trip "ou/re on, but -/d like to o home and et some sleep now.$ Fe looked up, still holdin the balance between bein intensel" serious and havin a casual conversation. #9id - fire m" taser at "ou2 7f all the places in the world "ou could o, "ou/re standin here listenin to me.$ #5ecause - have toK 5ecauseB$ - felt m" an er falter, #5ecause it/s a ainst the law to walk awa" without "our permission.$ #Murder, then.$ #Murder2$ #There are worse crimes still, but murder is far enou h.$ #,hat about it2$ #-f it were le al.$ #Fell, noK$ #-f no person in the world were the t"pe to kill another, what would be the point of makin it ille al2 -f ever"one in the world were the t"pe to kill another, what would be the point of makin it ille al2 -f it were le al, would it be moral2 -f it were le al but not moral, would "ou do it2 ,hat about the da" when morals aren/t convenient an"more2 ,hat about the e'ceptions those around "ou make but "ou don/t2 ,hat about the da" "ou reali:e the cost of

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"our own actions, or the price of shuttin people out for "our vices2$ My vices2 ,hat is he talkin about2 #0re "ou talkin about m" laws or societies/ laws2$ #-s there reall" a difference2$ #Then the law is 6ust there to punish ever"one,$ - said, ettin cau ht in the stran e connection of ideas he/d led me into. #0ll parties lose in the end.$ #Then the law is powerless to save.$ #To save from what2$ #-t repa"s an evil, which the individual considered ood, with another evil, which the societ" considered ood.$ - tried to continue followin him, m" motivation shiftin to curiosit", reachin the point of needin a solution@ but at the point where ood and evil threatened to untan le, where ever"thin - knew of life became suspect, found m"self lost and frustrated. #,here are "ou oin with these +uestions2$ #,hat/s the point of an" +uestion2 ,hat happens when people see that +uestions and answers aren/t supposed to be simple automations2 ,hat do "ou think can happen to the limits of the human mind when +uestions aren/t tied down b" convention or evenB$ Fe smiled somberl" and swiped his foot over the pile of sand he/d made. #Nuestions are for smart people,$ - said. #- don/t think that wa".$ #-t was never about bein smart, 5randon. 3ome of the bri htest eniuses in the human race o their whole lives without findin the most basic crumbs of wisdom@ and it/s the simplest amon us who find those crumbs and leave us all in the dust. The limits are different for us all, but the true solution sta"s the same. Now, do "ou believe that tomorrow can be better2$

,ords failed to form sentences in m" mind. Fis e"es sta"ed locked on mine, his revealin sincerit" and a kind of compassion, as if he understood ? as if he tried to understand m" own position. - looked awa" to the pristine sand and crashin waves as - considered his last +uestion, eventuall" reali:in that, be"ond the words - tried to form from the limits of the mind, one had alread" been on m" heart. 0s - spoke it, - knew - had answered honestl", that it had been the real 5randon 9auphin speakin from underneath the mask. #1es.$ The patrolman walked off silentl", carr"in m" slampak off to be for otten. - felt relief, not of a close call, but of reali:in there hadn/t been cause to worr". -t was better, - thou ht, that he didn/t i nore me. - stole another lance at the li ht in the sk" and be an walkin a ain. #>imits.$

0s - returned to the floodlit site, - heard shoutin and saw someone standin on top of the behemoth sandcastle. a teena er with lon black hair and a chain around his neck, kickin and punchin and screamin incomprehensibl" as if he were havin a mental breakdown. - stopped in fear when - noticed the crowd below cheerin him on. #,hat are the" doin 2 3omeone has to stop this, nowK$ #- know it hurts,$ someone replied, #but this has to happen.$ -t was the child who built the castle. 0 few others were there, still followin him, as shocked b" the destruction as - was, but not overcome b" it. #>ittle bo",$ - said over the screamin , #"ou worked for so lon and it was so beautiful, how can "ou 6ust stand b" and watch2$ 7ff on the boardwalk, - spotted a uniformed officer. The bad e -/d wanted to be far awa" from was suddenl" a welcome si ht.

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The bo" tapped me on the hip to et m" attention back. #-/ll build a better one, a castle he can/t=$ - sprinted across the sand near the crowd and up onto the boardwalk. The officer was sippin coffee and talkin to an older woman. #7fficerK 7fficerK &lease helpK$ The man spun around toward me. #-s ever"thin all ri ht, sir2$ -ncredulous, - pointed to the scene. #ThatK (an/t "ou hear that2 (an/t "ou stop that2$ - shouted, wonderin how on Earth the man couldn/t hear fift" :oo animals screamin nonsense onl" twent" meters awa". #That2$ The officer lanced over, completel" oblivious. #3ir, that is 6ust a pile of sand.$

- popped the small black case open and a:ed at the rin inside. -t looked and sparkled e'actl" as it had da"s before in the kincubus, but - knew - wasn/t feelin a simulation with simulated hands, but real with real. it had become a solid ob6ect with real meanin . The last few weeks had one b" so impossibl" fast, and there were so man" thin s to think about. - decided - would o forward with m" plan, even if - wasn/t sure wh". 0nd, if she turned me downB -f she didn/t want to be a wifeB - tore open one of the ordinar" packa es. !eceipts from m" financial insurer. Ne't came the envelope with m" train tickets. - opened it and ran m" fin ertips alon the surface of the paper. -t/s a link, - thou ht, a uarantee -/ll be thousands of miles awa" in New 1ork when that ball drops. - remembered the movie tickets and how 4air 6oked with me when - was lookin at those old posters in the lobb". - smiled. May(e, - thou ht. No. 3he will sa" "es. 7n m" counter was a printed ima e - took of her months earlier, posin in front of the >on -sland 3ound. - threw ever" other thou ht out of m" mind and held the picture in m" hands, ima inin her answer, findin that the woman in m" mind did love me. - put the picture on the table ne't to the open bo' and the rin . - found the confidence - wanted and - determined to o to bed before losin it a ain. #>i hts off.$ The room went dark and m" head hit the pillow. M" e"es closed lookin at the bedside clock, countin the three da"s before would board m" train and be in m" 6ourne", the five da"s to Aanuar" first. the da" - knew would be the best da" of m" lifeB the be innin of m" life. M" plans were real. M" desires were real. No force in nature could/ve kept me from them. The date was Monda", 9ecember 2O, 21O*. The da" - died.

- screamed and kicked at the door to m" apartment, almost breakin the doorreaderB a ain. The thin alwa"s needed an insane number of swipes before it would reco ni:e the chip in m" wrist and let me into m" own livin space. - decided - should/ve come strai ht home from Leph"rTek, that could/ve 6ust one to bed thinkin onl" of 4air on Maran@ whether - would/ve felt better or worse about Times 3+uare made little difference to me. Ma"be would/ve chosen alcohol instead of &AM and decided not to feel at all. - chan ed m" clothes and polished m" teeth, finall" mana in to rela'. The fanc" black and old packa e was eas" to tell apart, - put it on the countertop and threw the other three pieces of mail onto m" mess" coffee table. The whoosh caused a piece of paper to fall to the floor, a coupon -/d won in a raffle months before. ood for three da"s at an ascension site called &aciTek. -/d for otten about it and checked the e'piration date. the end of the "ear. Not m" first choice of how to spend the ne't few da"s, - considered, but m" onl" choice. - rabbed the fanc" packa e and took a deep breath as - tore at the seal.
CAFFEINE

Cha)ter 'ne* +imits

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2
We stand in awe of the parade. Where once the connections between us were few and distant, technology from rugged roads to smoothly orbiting satellites had allowed a new culture to flourish, one driven by the speed and essence of communication. In short centuries, the links became faster, more reliable, and more indwelled within us moving from firsthand e!perience to recording, from the eyes and ears to direct connection with the brain. Information grew. "istory stopped fading away, but became part of the atmosphere. #he imaginations of billions took on more power than had ever been known to man. #oday, fact and fiction beckon for attention from every corner, offering to the commoners of the twenty$second century knowledge kings could once only dream to possess. It had been an irresistible temptation% the only place left to live, even after we&d forgotten what living was. 'ven as a voice within cried to get out of (R&s snare, accepting three free days was all I knew to do. #he illusions and fantasies still worked well enough, I told myself. When they had suddenly been rushed to their end, when they all went up in a brilliant flash of light, I found I couldn&t ignore the hollowed$out shell I had become, and that I had no comfort to retreat to, as if illusions and fantasies had never worked at all. Any time we need to forget the troubles of modern life, the parade calls out to us. We stand in the assurance the parade will go on forever, e!isting to offer something new, stimulating the senses beyond the limits of yesterday.
CAFFEINE

In days, I would die the death that should&ve taken decades. In days, I would reach my limit the barrier standing at the end of the road. #hat was the day that had no future. #hat was the day I could only slow to a crawl and fall apart. #hat was the day I knew the barrier was real. #hat was the day another foot reached over mine and floored the pedal.

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2
#&aciTek.$ - watched m"self ascendin from the round, risin throu h the sprawlin cit" landscape and toward the sk". The sunli ht was so bri ht. could feel its warmth throu h the lass. Ior a fleetin moment, it seemed could for et ever"thin . -t seemed - could sta" in that limbo forever. #1ou want happiness2$ a woman/s voice asked. #1eah,$ - replied b" refle'. #Then "ou want performance,$ the sultr" voice replied. #1ou know the kind -/m talkin about, 5randon. The kind that reall" makes "ou feel like a some(ody.$ #MuteK$ - shouted to the elevator/s control s"stem. The advertisement stopped. - leaned on the lass wall and tried to put New 1ear/s out of m" mind. The comfort and confidence - had oin to sleep had lon fled. Aust like ever" other ood thin in m" life, it had been temporar". The doors chimed and opened onto the !eed 5uildin /s si'th floor, the li hts inside paintin shapes and patterns onto the >os 0n eles street outside. 0 spacious lobb" with bri ht, luminescent walls and bi:arre fi'tures awaited me. The doors to the real world closed behind me, and - felt as if - were alread" in 9"namic !ealit". - felt as if - stepped into the distant future. 0 man was processin the check%out of a well%dressed famil" of five. The father looked like he was a (E7 or somethin . - scanned the printed coupon in m" hand a ain, thinkin an"thin - had to pa" for there wouldn/t be cheap. The usual arra" of advertisements and le al notices lined the walls.
CAFFEINE

printed, on%screen, holo raphic, and interactive. Even with a casual lance, spotted the phrase #100P hacker%proof$ several times. - si hed and looked awa", knowin how much that promise meant, knowin how much -nTek meant it on their own advertisements. The man reminded me of the ni ht mana er at Leph"rTek. probabl" still in colle e, constantl" runnin around tappin on panels and alwa"s seemin e'hausted from the 6ob. - wondered how lon it would be until this one was also replaced b" a walkin %talkin li ht show. #,hat do "ou want2$ - stepped up to the desk and ave him the coupon, which he didn/t seem to reco ni:e and had to scan throu h three different databases to verif". - attempted small%talk, askin idle +uestions and ettin past couple of da"s, - asked wh". #- dunnoB bri ht ball of li ht in the sk"B can/t miss itB$ - remembered m" trip to the beach and couldn/t den" that some interest had formed in me. -t was so far "et so bri ht, a sill" thin that would fade awa" and be for otten. 1et people were havin such reactions to it. hope, fear, curiosit", despair. #,hat do "ou think about that supernova2$ - asked. The mana er stopped for a second. Fis e"es seemed to shift a little, but he returned to his work without answerin . - felt embarrassed and tried to distract m"self. M" wanderin e"es peeked into the open door of the back office, where - saw a lar e man wearin bo'in loves ? motionless and lookin to a part of the room - couldn/t see. the holo rams fi ht when there weren/t an" Fe was probabl" watchin eneric answers as he ran m" re istration. Fe mentioned somethin about business bein slow the

customers. - heard a beep from the roundtem and he smacked it hard with his hand, obviousl" suppressin the ur e to shout.

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Aust a little an er. Nothin to worr" about. The mana er stoicall" asked me to si n with m" thumbprint. - looked down to m" own panel and saw the te't of (alifornia/s %afe scender ct of ,-... the document - was re+uired b" state law to si n whenever - ascended alone. - was led down to the diml"%lit fifth floor and throu h a couple of lon hallwa"s. - drank two da"s worth of stabili:er from the packet, wantin for it to be out of m" s"stem b" the third da", in spite of the risk. The mana er pressed his thumb on the panel for booth C1C and its openin appeared in the wall. Ever"thin about the platform and interface looked familiar, if not a little nicer than the booths - was used to. 0fter showin me the controls he was le all" re+uired to, the mana er raced off and - activated the wall, shuttin out the li ht of the hallwa". leaned onto the padded incline and rela'ed m" bod", allowin the restraints to slide around m" arms and le s. M" 3N9> s"nchroni:ed with the booth/s software and the familiar li htheadedness washed over me. 3everal seconds later, m" implants showed - was read" for !apid E"e Movement, read" to fall asleep without sleepin , to be in complete control over what m" dream would be. M" e"es were still open, as if the" didn/t want to close. - saw the darkness - was immersed in, hearin the silence, feelin and smellin the stale air. Ior the first time in man" "ears, it all worried me. !ealit" is not here, 6ust close "our e"es. -t/s eas". - pushed m" childish a itation aside and took a deep breath, remindin m"self -/d ascended thousands of times before. ,ith a sur e of will, m" e"es closed and - surrendered control.

-t was a beautiful sprin da" in a barren, contested land@ beaut" bein relative, of course, in a war :one. - kept tellin m"self - had three da"s. plent" of time for bombin raids and adrenaline and repla"s. ,here - normall" 6umped strai ht to the action, bein in%and%out in hours, this time - ave m"self an ;acclimation period/. pickin up a softball bat and seein how the battle simulation handled its own downtime. That first idea passed +uickl", thou h, since - was terrible at sports. 0fter m" third out, - was content to sit in the stands and watch the ame. - tried to ima ine how terrif"in it was, with the possibilit" of enem" troops hidin behind an" hill ? or even sittin in the stands as spies ? the troops knowin the ne't da" the" would be deep in enem" territor", in mortal dan er. -t made me feel better to immerse m"self in it, smilin as - considered m" choice of war. 8orea, 1*C2. That countr"/s wh" -/m not makin mone" ri ht now, after all. 5attle simulations were an earl" favorite of mine. -n 3tandard !ealit", m" randfather made his career in the 0ir Iorce. Fe retired after the Ninety "ast /ar and moved back to -daho when - was still a kid rowin up there. en6o"ed hearin him talk about battles and became somethin of an enthusiast. - even considered 6oinin the militar" m"self, which made him happ"@ m" randfather was alwa"s a little disappointed m" dad hadn/t si ned up, and ever"one knew m" brother had hated it, thou h he wasn/t e'actl" a volunteer. 0lwa"s the histor" buff, m" randpa fre+uentl" talked about wars, especiall" the %econd /orld /ar, which occurred in the 1*D0/s and involved most of the countries in the world. Even when - was "oun er, twentieth and twent"%first centur" battle recreations weren/t hard to find in 9"namic !ealit". &la"able combat scenarios, historical or fictional, were a hot item on man" servers.

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3oftball ended earl" for an 1E<0 briefin ? 1E<0 bein a local time, used when the world was divided into time :ones ? and - sat in a crowded room with other pilots as our commandin officer ave us details on our tar ets, the e'pected weather, recent enem" movements, and so on. The whole thin became borin after the first few minutes, and - reminded m"self that briefin s were another part of combat that alwa"s ot abrid ed or left out. tried to focus, or at least - wanted to tr", but m" mind kept wanderin and even "awned loudl" at one point. - knew the simulated characters weren/t pro rammed to react, but found m"self wonderin what the (7 would/ve done in a real briefin when a real soldier "awned. - brushed the thou ht awa" and be an usin a pencil to doodle on the back of the wooden chair in front of me. - even con6ured a ba of flavored tortilla chips and be an crunchin awa". Three da"s and absolutel" nothin to do. The orders - knew - would be iven were to fl" m" I%EJ 3abre in formation into enem" territor", throu h an area known fondl" as ;MiG 0lle",/ where en a ements with the 3oviet%built 6ets were common. - considered which - should do. pla" the ame accordin to the rules or make up m" own rules@ escort our bombers and brin them safel" back to 8impo or fl" clear into (hina, alone, and fire at an"thin that moved. Three da"s. Three da"s. Three da"s. - uess that/s enou h time to make up m" own rules. - smiled at m" decision. The enem" never knew what the" were in for, since - wasn/t sh" about resettin m" fuel level and ammunition mid%fli ht, repairin an" severe dama e m" plane took with a simple command. M" smile faded when m" e"es landed on one of the pilots in front of me. his face sported a hu e and u l" scar. - was in a war% ame, the other characters were supposed to look bruised and beaten, but somethin about his scar bothered me. - knew real pilots couldn/t reset or leave when the" lost the

ame, but - couldn/t fi ure out wh" m" amin ambitions suddenl" made me feel soB Ever"one suddenl" stood up. ,ith a few encoura in but cautious words, we were dismissed. - bent down to retrieve m" dropped pencil, and spotted lines that seemed to form letters on the back of the chair. - tried to decipher them from amon the markin s, and a word emer ed from the noise. - had no answer for where it came from. 0R 1D1+"NT

- re retted that no one still used 6et en ines, as - stood in the han ar and admired the machine - would be fl"in the ne't da". Fours passed as tried to read the pre%fli ht checklist, openin panels, readin au es, and learnin more about fi hter 6ets than that the" flew reall" fast and shot at thin s. 0t ever" turn - witnessed the comple'it" of the thin , feelin so stupid "et more curious as - admired the innovation and directed creativit" of those who desi ned and built the plane, those who left the world with a better 6et than the" found. - noticed the rease had made m" hands as dark as the sk" outside, and that it was ettin all over the checklist and wirin dia rams. #(ommand vanitar. reset.$ 0 sli ht tin lin passed throu h m" hands and the" were clean, 6ust as m" hair and uniform were, as if -/d 6ust entered the simulation. - looked at all the parts on the floor and open panels on the plane, wonderin whether - should tr" to put them all back in. - shuffled throu h the dia rams, showin me all the measurements and settin s that had to be e'actl" ri ht, remindin me that airworth" I%EJ/s didn/t 6ust fall out of the sk" or assemble themselves. 3lowl", - tried to piece ever"thin back to ether. #Fow in hell do "ou e'pect to fl" that in ten hours, 9auphin2$

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- tilted m" head to see a couple of airmen approachin from outside. two of the pilots who had been at the briefin . The shorter of them walked up to me and asked if - had a match, pullin a ci arette out of his uniform/s shirt pocket. #3orr" airman, - don/t even smoke.$ Fe looked at me like - sprouted three heads. Fis friend lau hed.
#1ou picked a helluva time to +uit, 9auphinK (/monK ,e/re d"in here.$

6ust ot packed with ascenders or needed maintenance. - heard music in the han ar. The shorter man had set up a 4aughn Monroe album on a nearb" turntable and took another deep dra . #3o, smokin helps "ou rela' before a mission2$ - asked. #That or drinkin ,$ replied the taller one, without an" hint of humor. #1ou ever been shot down before, 9auphin2$ the shorter asked. noticed his nameta read 0rnall. The taller was 7lian. 0rnall faced me, seemin riml" serious. ,ords didn/t come. -t/s not that - can/t answer the +uestion, - thou ht. -/ve been shot down in simulationsB - 6ust never had to face the conse+uences the" did in the real battles. ,h"/s a ame character askin me this, an"wa"2 - can tell them an"thin and it wouldn/t matter. #1eah,$ - finall" said. #0 few times.$ 0rnall took another dra . #Then "ou know that nothin +uite prepares "ou for it. !ela'2 No such thin .$ 7lian e'haled. #-/ve been luck", m"self. 5ut ever" time we o out there - know - could be ne't. - pra" to God ever" ni ht this war ends soon.$ #-f Truman had let Mac0rthur finish the 6ob, we/d be back in Aapan b" now,$ 0rnall said. #Fell, - would/ve chased ;em all the wa" to Moscow if he wanted, and have been happ" to do it, too.$ - smirked. #(ommunism. ,hat a stupid ameB$ The two stared horrificall" at me. #9o "ou think this is some kind of a ame2$ #Fe", 9auphinK -/m talkin to "ouK$ 0rnall shouted when - didn/t answer. - looked back at him, in his e"es, and reali:ed he reall" was serious. took a step back and sent a new command, strai ht throu h m" implants, for the computer for 6ump to the ne't da". "n2ironmental Control (usy3

- rumma ed throu h m" pockets and pulled out a piece of thin, folded cardboard. #,ait. 0ren/t there flammable thin s in here2$ The shorter man rabbed m" matches and struck one with a fast, e'pert motion. #3o2 1ou onna rat me out2 >ooks like "ou/ll be in hot water when the commander finds out "our plane/s in a million pieces.$ Fe was ri ht, m" memor" hadn/t served me well and pieces didn/t seem to fit properl", as if all the nuts were tr"in to be bolts or somethin . M" curiosit" and awe had lon turned into frustration. - let the wrench - was holdin fall to the concrete. #Good point.$ The taller man lit the paper thin in his mouth and the" leefull" took in their hourl" doses of tobacco. - turned and athered the technical papers. #(ommand ob6ect local I%EJ. reset.$ "n2ironmental Control (usy3 - put the papers on the desk and turned around. The 6et was still disassembled. #(ommand ob6ect local I%EJ. reset,$ - said louder, as if the computer didn/t hear me the first time. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 - cleared the return messa e and si hed, knowin sometimes servers

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- repeated the command. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 The 0rnall character seemed read" to hit me. #,e/re ettin killed out thereK 0bductedK -f we crash behind the lines and et cau htB do "ou know what those commies do to &7,s2K 0nd the" don/t even care back homeK ,e=$ 7lian put a hand on 0rnall/s shoulder. #-t/s late and we/ve otta fl" tomorrow,$ he said. #Ma"be we should et to the barracks.$ ,ithout another word, the two left me alone with m" shock, an er and embarrassment. certainl" not what -/d had in mind for acclimation, certainl" not m" idea of fun. - started cursin and kickin tools across the floor. #>emme at ;em, - want to kill somethin K$ - tried different commands, tr"in to send m"self directl" into some kind of combat@ but - was denied m" wish. The same response followed m" ever" thou ht and shout. "n2ironmental Control (usy3

ma" as well redeem m"selfB so lon as - remembered not to call combat a ame. - saw them smokin , as alwa"s, and decided to indul e m"self in a more modern habit, computer willin . - was relieved to find - could still con6ure a slampak of 0mber &lus. 0mon those from the 6eep was a &rivate with a swollen e"e, earned from a fist%fi ht 6ust moments earlier. 0s the two from the tent prodded him with +uestions, the in6ured man reali:ed he couldn/t remember what the fi ht was about. 0 man leanin on the vehicle/s open door spotted me and demanded to know if - was drinkin whiske". - fro:e and reali:ed he had actuall" seen m" slampak. The officer, wearin an M& armband, startin walkin toward me and - hid the ener " drink behind m" back, tr"in to chan e it into a canteen of water. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 #0irman 9auphinK Give me that before - call "our (7K$ he demanded. Not knowin what else to do, - ave him the slampak. Fe +uickl" decided it wasn/t alcoholic, but couldn/t make out what it was. Fe shot me an an r" lance and walked back to the roup, passin around the stran e bevera e from two hundred "ears in the future. The" couldn/t even decide

,alkin outside, with m" an er vented and boredom creepin back, found a few ci arettes in m" pocket and decided to tr" one. - wouldn/t cou h on simulated smoke and thou ht the sensation of it mi ht help me unwind. broke off a match and swiped it as 0rnall had, onl" to see the first match break. - si hed and broke off a second, usin less pressure. - 6umped when the entire match flashed into smoke and ash. Ma"be smokin reall" was dan erous. 0 6eep pulled up about a hundred meters awa". Iour soldiers ot out and two others emer ed from a tent. ,ith nothin better to do, - decided -

what the transparent container was made of, let alone how it lowed colors or wh" weird sounds came from it whenever it was tilted ? the modern immicks actuall" provin more amusin to them than distressin . Iortunatel", one of them tasted it and decided it wasn/t a communist secret weapon. #-t/s a new kind of (oca (ola,$ - said. -t was the first thin - could think of that dated properl". The M& didn/t like an" answer - ave. #,e can/t even et ood (% rations and this u"/s ettin (oca%fri in/%(olaB and new stuff at thatK$ Fe rabbed the slampak and started ulpin at it to spite me. The other men

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stru

led to hold their lau hter at the obno'ious sound an 0mber &lus makes trees. 0nother man amon them, not wearin a uniform, be an stirrin up

3omethin 6umped off in the distance. - +uickl" looked but saw onl" The man spoke with soft, labored words. #M" wife. -= - can/t remember her name. -= - can/t remember m" wife/s name, or m" kidsK$ #-t/s the stress,$ one of the privates responded, #we/ve ot a lot on our plates ri ht now, that/s all. 1ou were tellin me about the missus last week, said her name wasB$ Fe couldn/t remember the woman/s name either. The woman didn/t e'ist, the kids didn/t e'ist. The" were personal information randoml" assi ned to remembered. 0ll of the characters in the roup were suddenl" discoverin hu e memor" aps of their own, usin their 0- minds to tr" to connect people, places, and events that simpl" didn/t. - saw the stran e movement a ain. -mmediatel", the sound of rifle fire ripped throu h the eerie calm, followed b" more unfire and distant shoutin . The radio in the 6eep crackled and panicked voices streamed onto the fre+uenc". The sk" rumbled behind me. - spun around 6ust in time to see a MiG%1C roar meters above m" head. - fell to the round. The noise intensified and the smoke thickened all around me. #&leaseK &leaseK$ - pressed the red button repeatedl". No one can hear meK No one can save meK Nothin itK -/m oin to be torn apartK (ountless MiGs passed over the base, their bullets comin faster with each passin second. M" fin er was down on the button, holdin it down. 5uildin s were catchin fire and confused men were shoutin in ever" direction, not sure where the enem" was, actin a ainst an"one and ever"one. The word #nuclear$ came from the static of the radio. 3omeone said -(5Ms is workin K 3omethin is ver" wron K The simulation is tearin itself apart with me inside ame characters. The" weren/t supposed to be

when someone drinks from it. the crowd b" sa"in -/m ettin the 0ir Iorce was ettin better stuff. #,ho needs

round troops when "ou can throw 6ets and nuclear missiles at the commiesK ra:ed b" bullets and this u"/s ot some new fan led colaK$ ,h" is this happenin 2 ,hat/s oin on2 - a ain sent the command to 6ump forward. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 0 lump formed in m" throat and - be an to feel numb, powerless, trapped. - sent the command to leave the construct. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 - shouted a curse and sent a command to remove the characters. "n2ironmental Control (usy3 0 deep, sinkin feelin overtook me. - didn/t know what to do. wanted to disappear. - knew if - didn/t leave soon, - mi ht end up with a swollen e"e m"self. - decided - wanted out and - was ettin out. ,ith a fast and e'pert motion of m" own, - pulled up m" arm and planted m" fin er ri ht on the red button. #,h" don/t "ou 6ust hit the bi red button ri ht now,$ the plain%clothed man shouted to no one and ever"one, #so we can all o home to our wives and children2$ #That/s what -/m tr"in to do.$ - pushed a ain. Fard. The others cheered. - felt like - could collapse onto the round. 0ll the words and ima es be an runnin to ether in m" panicked mind. remembered to breathe. M" own breathin was all - could hear. The plain% clothed man stood silentl" with a pu::led look on his face, lookin as if he mi ht start cr"in .

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had been fired from both sides. -(5Ms2 0n incredible flash appeared directl" ahead of me, dissolvin into the unmistakable form of a mushroom cloud. The radio was dead. Ever"thin suddenl" fell awa" and became silent. 0 hot wind licked m" face and a tear fell down m" cheek. Ni ht became da" for an instant, then returned to ni ht forever. -n the dark and hostile sk" - could see onl" one ob6ect, ettin closer. M" life came rushin back to me. - thou ht of the happ" times of m" childhood, raised b" parents who loved me. - thou ht of the friends - wished kept, and the sister who missed me. - thou ht of the brother - hated and wished more than an"thin -/d tried to patch thin s up. Most painfull" of all, thou ht of 4air and the future that would never happen. - thou ht of all the ood - never did in the world. - thou ht of all the ood - would never be able to do. Throu h all the noise, one last thin would capture m" attention. Nothin in the corner of m" e"e. Nothin subtle. -t ma" have been the d"in throes of a ha"wire construct or some cra:" connection problem. - didn/t care about its cause. 0ll - remembered was how beautiful - thou ht it was. The trees were dancin .

3
If someone dies in (ynamic Reality, do they die in )tandard Reality, too* Whenever a bell$ringer introduces a child to an intense enough game, the same +uestion always comes up. Why shouldn&t fake danger that can be seen, heard, and felt as well as the real thing lead to the same natural thoughts* If someone dies in a game, do they die in real life, too* I remember the wonder of my first encounter with (R, as I received its blessing to do as I wished, when I wished. 'ven when I witnessed characters getting killed in vivid gory fashion, even when the +uestion neared my own lips and burned in my own heart, I threw it back at any who dared speak it% who dared to make it real, to empower the +uestion and suggest the need of an answer. If I die in here, do I die out there* We were kids, What did we care about death* We couldn&t get enough of the fantastic imagery and realistic role$play. We were gods and gods couldn&t die. -ut life wasn&t about spending every moment ascended or stroking the most precious ego. .ids had to grow up and start acting like adults. It was my life. I did what I wanted. I declared war and con/ured the people to fight them, hurling my lightning bolts down from the sky onto whomever I declared to be the enemy. When war declared back, I found I was completely unarmed. I

Cha)ter Two* n "nd /ithout a Beginning

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found all my life was was a lit match, burning softly through the

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wooden handle, beyond the initial flare$up of vibrancy and curiosity and +uestions. When I reali0ed I wasn&t a god, the +uestion didn&t seem so childish anymore. (id I die* It&s true what they say, your life does flash before your eyes1 but few people get to look back on that moment of clarity and use it to build a better future.

3
The first thin - remembered was pain@ not phon"%attenuated 9! pain, but pain as if -/d reall" been kicked in the stomach. - was disoriented and felt sick from a rush of adrenaline. M" nerves still tin led from the burnin heat of the shock wave, and the noise around me blended seamlessl" with the echoes of bombs in m" head. - looked up and saw the lar e man who nearl" tripped over me. - didn/t think - was in 8orea an"more. #0re "ou retarded or somethin , kid2 MoveK$ - felt a hard 6ab in m" lower back and a woman fell, droppin hot coffee close to m" face. 3he also became irate, shoutin four%letter words as she vanished into the crowd without offerin to help me up or an"thin . Even standin didn/t help@ people were constantl" bumpin and shovin me. - was in a lar e room filled with people wearin suits, bad es, and microphones. 7ld%st"le flat monitors and split%beam pro6ectors were ever"where, displa"in stock prices and advertisements for public corporations. - was standin in the New &ork %tock "xchange. 7ne of the traders brushed a ainst m" descender. Memories sur ed back and m" panic with them. - "anked m" arm back and stared at the device/s red button. #-t/s 6ust 9"namic !ealit",$ - said to m"self, #this is nothin "ou can/t control.$ - closed m" e"es, took a deep breath and pressed the red button. The sounds remained. #-t/s 6ust 9"namic !ealit",$ - repeated, #this is nothin control.$ The button was dead, connected to nothin . - looked desperatel" to see if an"thin was out of place, tr"in to et some idea of what such a place was supposed to look like. -n 21O*, the buildin on ,all 3treet was a museum, "ou can/t

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which -/d never been to. - be an walkin throu h the crowd a ain, tr"in to think of wa"s to escape from a runawa" simulation. Goin throu h what seemed like the e'it, - had a half%do:en fl"ers shoved into m" hand as - passed ,all 3treet/s %ummary 4enture Center. started toward the da"li ht of the street but sensed somethin familiar behind me. - stood in the crowd, lookin into some kind of upper%class casino. &art of me wanted to leave, while another part was drawn to somethin somethin unseen. The feelin became stron er as - walked past the slot and loss%poker machines. - reco ni:ed it as the #feelin of presence$ ascenders pick up over time, an instinct pla"ers et when someone else enters a closed ame session. -t led me toward the black6ack table in the far corner of the room, where a woman was dealin cards. -n stark contrast to the room of twent"%first centur" e'ecutives, this woman wore a heav" reen militar" uniform and hat. M" steps slowed, but - still drew m"self closer. 0 bald man wearin an oran e suit abruptl" darted into m" path. #3ir, can - see "our bad e2$ The woman didn/t seem to notice me. - couldn/t shake the impression she was watchin meB somehow. - passed around the protestin securit" uard. 3till she i nored me, but one move of her arm told me ever"thin needed to know. 3he had a descender. #E'cuse meK$ - shouted as - ot to the table. ,ith a sin le swift motion, the woman looked at me, her dark% reen e"es lockin onto mine. 3he looked "oun er up close than - thou ht she would be, ma"be ei hteen or twent". The insi nia left no doubt that hers was a 3oviet uniform from the war simulation, thou h she bore the face of a modern 0merican. Fer skin tone was sli htl" tan and a small amount of white hair showed from underneath her service cap. Fer e"es seemed distant, within,

revealin no hint of emotion for me to read. ,ithout lookin down, the woman set two cards on the table. #,h" is one more desired than two2$ she asked. There was some stran e monotone in her voice, which - onl" seemed to notice because of her stiff and unnatural bod" lan ua e, that made me feel tense. - looked down and saw the cards were the 0ce of 9iamonds and the Two of 3pades. #- don/t know. - don/t pla" stupid ames.$ #(ommunism is a stupid ame, "ou said that,$ she replied cooll". #,ho are "ou2 ,hat are "ou doin 2 ,h" am - here2$ #(ommunism failed. (apitalism is performin poorl".$ - turned back toward the room, makin it obvious - had no idea what she was talkin about. #0fter that war,$ she continued in the same even voice, #the Hnited 3tates and the 3oviet Hnion adopted a polic" of ;Mutuall" 0ssured 9estruction,/ wherein the" destro"ed each other. ,h" did "our people want to do that2$ -s this irl wheeled2 ,h" is she askin such dumb +uestions2 That didn/t actuall" happenK - turned back to her and spoke in a low tone similar to hers. #- don/t care. >et me out of here.$ #The doors are marked. Go where "ou wish.$ 0s +uickl" as she had turned to me, she turned back and resumed dealin to pla"ers. #E'cuse=$ - be an to shout a ain when - was rabbed from behind. saw three securit" uards, includin the man -/d alread" encountered. #3ir, if - can/t see "our bad e -/ll have to show "ou the door.$ #>ook, simul%lamewad, -/m talkin to someoneK$ - turned back to the woman. #Give me back controlK$ 0 different woman, wearin a 9ow Aones uniform, was behind the

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table. The woman in the 3oviet uniform was one, and the feelin of presence with her.

for these occasions.

#- want to leave. - want to descend.$ - said, as loudl" and clearl" as could. The man didn/t seem to understand me. #(ommand lo offK (ommand e'itK (ommand statusK$

- wandered down the sidewalk and tried to think where a simulation of twent"%first centur" Manhattan mi ht be runnin , wonderin if there were others beside the woman in it. The emer enc" button still wasn/t workin and whatever control s"stem overned the place was i norin m" commands, den"in me even the error messa es. Noise from people, construction, subwa"s, communit" music, cr"in babies and so on made it impossible to think. There had to be another wa" out, - knew, but all that came to m" mind were scattered rumors and endin s to 9!%themed horror movies. (lap twice with the back of "our hands. Nope. !un throu h a concrete wall. Ma"be if nothin else works. (lick m" heels to ether three times. That/s from the ,i:ard of 7: movieK - stopped and shook m" head, feelin ridiculous. - couldn/t shake the feelin of bein watched, like a victim in some realit" show, m" s+uirmin broadcast to the world and then houndin me forever. 3ome networks will do an"thin for ratin s, - thou ht. - wouldn/t be the first to et used like that. 5ut what can - do to et out of it2 0n 0sian man appeared from the crowd and handed me a fl"er for a rocer" store. 0n idea occurred to me and - rabbed his shoulder. sentB

The man fearfull" tore himself awa" and bolted into the crowd, leavin a trail of fl"ers on the sidewalk. No, No, No, No, NoK This can/t be ri htK Ma"be the" have to speak En lish2 - stepped toward another man. 0 loud honk stopped me. 0 ta'i, one of New 1ork/s famous "ellow ta'is, had appeared on the street onl" a few meters awa". The man inside, lookin at me, honked a ain and waved me forward. looked around a ain, certain someone was watchin . Fe honked a third time, the sound seemin more clear and intense, the path between me and the car cleared of people, as if the construct itself were encoura in m" direction. ducked m" head throu h the open passen er window. #1ou look lost. (an - help "ou et somewhere2$ the driver asked, with all the charm of an amai. - climbed into the back seat. #- want to leave. - want to descend.$ #,e/re alread" on the round,$ he replied. #-f "ou want to descend recommend the subwa".$ #No. - want to access the computer that/s runnin this pro ram.$ - read a look of confusion on his face. This won/t work either. There are ta'is all over the place in New 1ork, ma"be it was 6ust a coincidence one was ri ht here. Ma"be no one seB seB M" train of thou ht derailed and m" vision became mists and shadows. The noise of the cit" faded like a dream and m" senses went blank. 1esK -t workedK -/m descendin K

3omewhere in his interactive%whatever there must be some subroutine%thin - can tri er, - thou ht. 3omethin the" shoved in there 6ust

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- fell back like a rock in water. - felt m" bod" l"in flat on some cushions. 0 shadow darkened m" e"elids and - heard loud snappin . #-/m awake. -/m awake.$ - found the stren th to sa" as - stru led to open m" e"es, lookin up into the da"li htin . - was reeted b" three &aciTek emplo"ees and an >0&9 officer. ,e were surrounded b" the same marble and old pillars - saw hours before, outside, in the park%level entrance of the !eed 5uildin .

,hen - noticed the &aciTek people had left, - wanted nothin more than to et out of there. #-s the scan re+uired b" law or can - o now2$ - finall" asked. Go ahead, - thou ht. 3a" #"es, it/s re+uired.$ - dare "ou. #- am makin a su estion that would benefit "ou, Mister 9auphin.$ #1ou/re a cop. 1ou/re not supposed to offer me le al advice, especiall" not somethin so outra eous.$ #-sn/t it the obli ation of a police officer to serve the public2 - should do an"thin - can to allow "ou to resume "our normal life.$

The &aciTek people e'plained to me, in reat detail, that some conflict arose between their servers and the one - was connected to, causin the booth/s software to corrupt and lock up. The officer listened and filled out her statement, doin ever"thin b" the book and takin no sides when - be an ar uin about lawsuits and mental an uish. The man who woke me con6ured an airG window, showin m" thumbprint on the %afe scender in ct form. roups safer, knew the nature of FN09( technolo " made divin of ascendin alone. - had no case. 0 bree:e went throu h the open%air level underneath the buildin , rustlin the leaves of the trees surroundin me, remindin me of the cit" street be"ond. - asked wh" we weren/t b" the booths, or even on one of their floors. The supervisor e'plained that the" had to remove me from the booth without breakin the connection. 5efore - could press for details, the officer broke in and asked me to confirm the statement/s data before she filed it. 7fficer 3tephanie Morales ? the name she put on the statement ? then be an talkin to me about an #intensive memor" scan,$ sa"in it could help me in a case for mental an uish. - considered the idea, thou h it seemed odd, and the officer/s sudden insistence for it was makin me uncomfortable. home.

- considered the wa" she behaved and spoke. not +uite real, not +uite fakeB not +uite an"thin . The officer turned awa" and waited for m" response. #Aust let me o home. - can take care of m"self.$ 3he hesitated, as if deep in thou ht, not even movin or blinkin @ then she suddenl" be an walkin awa". #Go where "ou wish,$ she replied.

re ardless of the 0%site/s own securit". - had le all" acknowled ed the risks 3unset turned to ni ht and the air became cold. -t rained the whole wa" Good, - thou ht. - want to be miserable. - splashed in deep puddles and walked under drippin utters. 0 metrocab pulled up ne't to me, remindin me of m" encounter with the New 1ork ta'i, e'cept modern ta'is were driven remotel" b" 0-s, and used flashier tactics to attract passen ers. - didn/t hesitate to "ell somethin unpleasant at the holo ram and the car drove itself awa". - had no mone" and was in no rush. (onstruction blocked the road when - was still several blocks from m"

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apartment. Fad the ne't street up been open, - doubt - would have even noticed the detour@ but the ne't street was closed too, and the ne't. ,ho works on a road in pourin rain2 #Fow "a doin 2 (old ni ht, huh2 0re "ou tired of those cellular carriers who keep=$ - waved m" soakin hand in front of her face. #Aust stopK$ 3urprisin l", she did. - almost continued walkin without noticin it, but the holo ram had actuall" listened to me. - knew immediatel" somethin was ver" different, different with all the technolo " around me. - pulled back m" hand. No response. #(har in =1ou=No=Error=&rocess=$ #Mister 9auphin,$ she suddenl" looked at me and said, #"ou should consider the offer -/m authori:ed to e'tend to "ou. - possess a substantial amount of data on competin cellular carriers that will convince=$ #,hoa, whoa, whoa,$ - said, relieved. #>ook, - don/t know if this is "et another new techni+ue ? talkin like the robot "ou are ? or some malfunction@ so lets make this +uickB$ - leaned in close. #Fow do "ou feel ri ht now2 -t/s a cold ni ht and it/s rainin , -/m miserable, "ou process that word ? that feeling. Then - can watch "ou free:e up and ma"be feel a little better.$ #5ut, Mister 9auphin,$ she responded, restored to full customer% service lee, #ma"be "ou/re miserable because "ou have poor cellular service. Fere are the facts. 3i't" percent=$ - rolled m" e"es and started back down the sidewalk. 5its of li ht appeared in front of me. The flickerin slowl" took on a human shape and became the same holo ram. #5randon, if "ou/re not interested in cellular service, then please let me help "ou with somethin else.$

M" relief faded. The holo ram was clearl" malfunctionin and it was disturbin me. #>ook, "ou wanna be helpful2 Aust tell me how man" of these roads are closed.$ 3he beamed back at me. #-/m sorr", Mister 9auphin. - can/t suppl" traffic information, but - can pre%+ualif" "ou for=$ #NoK - know "ou can connect to some online thin and tell me what streets are open. 9o that and -/ll look at whatever "ou/re sellin .$ The holo ram paused for a moment. #The ne't block will be open, sir.$ - took the first couple of steps and stood ne't to her. The holo ram vanished. #Thank "ouB - uess.$ - reached the ne't block and found the street open and empt". ,hat 6umped out of 4air and into me to et a sales%holo ram to do somethin useful2 ,as it because it was malfunctionin 2 ,ill that even work ne't time2 Ne't time. M" feet became heavier and - couldn/t move. - stood under the canop" of a darkened store, seein the road ahead of me. wet, lonel", even hostile. thou ht m" home was at the end of that road, but - had no direction, and - had no destination. M" le s wobbled and - felt ill. - leaned on the marble wall and tried to breathe. Ne't time. >ike a son stuck in m" head, the two words wouldn/t leave me alone. E'cept son s were useful distractions, while the words were a call to the future, a oal, a +uestion that probed for an answer. Ne't time. There is no ne't time. No future. ,h" can/t - stop thinkin 2 ,h" can/t

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- 6ust shut it off2 Thursda" can/t come fast enou h, at least then -= M" e"es widened. 0 sinkin feelin tore throu h m" soul and m" le s nearl" ave out under me. - fou ht a ainst the reali:ation as - thou ht should, but it was alread" too late. That/s what it/s about, - thou ht. 3he/s 6ust a distraction for me. That/s all she can ever mean. -= - don/t want to do that to her, she deserves better than a fraud like me. - won/t do it. - won/t marr" 4air. #- won/t marr" 4eronicaK$ - shuddered, feelin m"self o numb at the decision. - thou ht of ever" reason - couldn/t o forward. no 6ob, famil" a million kilometers awa", ood at makin friends but bad at keepin them. - tried to reconsider, to tell m"self the words hadn/t left m" mouth, that no such doubts e'isted. 5ut - knew - was confrontin the truth. - knew couldn/t 6ust shoo it awa". - saw movement on the other side of the street. - tried to pull m"self to ether. ,hat am - doin 2 These streets are dan erous at ni ht. - forced m" le s back into action and continued throu h the rain, carr"in m"self one step at a timeB 6ust wantin to o back to sleep and to for et - was ever born. 0 si nal came from m" 3N9>, and - immediatel" re6ected it. The" dinned me a ain. ,ho/s Ethan Hnderhill2 - re6ected a ain. Ethan tried a third time. #,hatK$ #,hoaK Fe", 5randonB it/s Ethan HnderhillK 1a/ know, from Miller Aunior Fi hK$ #,hat2 1eah, Miller Aunior Fi h. ,ho is this2$

#EthanK 1ou know, "ou used to call me ;0nime/K$ #,hat do "ou want2$ #-/m in >0 and - was hopin we could catch upK$ - raised m" e"es and held out m" arms in an unseen esture of #are "ou serious2$ #>ook, Ethan. This isn/t a ood time. ,h" don/t - call "ou back tomorrow2$ #,ell. 3ure. -f "ou=$ 0 fourth metrocab ? a fourth vacant metrocab ? passed as disconnected Ethan. - looked behind me and down ever" alle", e'aminin the windows of ever" buildin , lookin to see who was watchin me. -f someone wanted to share this awful da", - decided, the" were welcome to it. - was soaked from head to toe as - finall" approached m" apartment buildin on Felms 0venue. Hnder the diminishin rain, - prepared for the dail" ritual of ettin the front doorreader to reco ni:e me. The door chimed and unlocked. - actuall" stared in disbelief lon enou h for it to time out and re%lock. - swiped a ain and the ratt" old metal door responded a ain. The reader still looked worn on the outside, but decided the" must have replaced the sensor or somethin . 0s if the first surprise weren/t enou h, the smell of fresh paint hit me as - opened the door. The hallwa"s, even the doors, all had new paint, carpetin , and li hts. - was tempted to look outside and make sure - hadn/t walked into the wron buildin . - ot into the elevator and its now%shin" doors closed behind me. #Iour.$ The machiner" was +uiet and the ride was smooth. - wondered if m" rent had 6ust shot up. The fourth floor had also been redone. - walked down the soft carpetin and reached m" door. M" own doorreader was the real test.

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it was ei ht" times worse then the one outside ever was. &erhaps the" chan ed that too2 5urstin with anticipation, - slid m" wrist in front of the panel. 7nce. The chime marked the hi h point of m" da". Fallelu6ahK 5ut the da"/s emotional roller coaster merel" set me up for another bi drop. -/d been robbed.

to know the owner hadn/t one on a remodelin spree. - heard the voices of 0- news anchors comin from the far side of the downstairs lobb", where an empt" sittin area sported leather sofas and a half%do:en monitors tuned to various networks. - picked up one of the fresh croissants sittin on a nearb" desk and m" spirits seemed to lift a little. 0 tall blonde appeared behind the counter. #,elcome to 4alue -nn, m" name is !achael. Fow can - help "ou2$ #(an - be helped b" a real person, please2$ - replied as - poured some coffee for m"self. The holo ram vanished and - heard a chime in the back office. 0 middle%a ed woman with brown hair emer ed.

The second statement - filed with the >os 0n eles &olice 9epartment contained little more than the stor" of hackers/ pranks and a description of the woman from the black6ack table. ,hen the officer went lookin for witnesses, none of m" nei hbors answered their doors and m" landlord was nowhere to be found. ,hen - talked about the entire buildin bein refurbished in less than nine hours without the tenants/ knowled e, the officer seemed to think nothin of it. - couldn/t sleep there even if -/d wanted to. m" walls were torn to shreds and even m" carpetin was ripped up, leavin the place completel" unreco ni:able. The officer issued me dr" clothes and asked if - wanted a ride to somewhere, as if - had an"where to o. No one was answerin m" dins and - needed someone to talk to, and a spare bed or sofa to sleep on. - 6ust ot one voicemail s"stem after another, even m" parents/. No one had responded b" the time - reached the 4alue Inn a few blocks awa". Thou h it ma" have been on the low%end of the price scale, the hotel seemed like a beacon in the ni ht, a palace for the wear" traveler fate had turned me into. The scent of freshl"%brewed amped coffee felt more welcomin than that of paint, and the soft carpetin was worn enou h for me

#Good evenin . -s there a problem2$ - hesitated at the si ht of an actual person, knowin how rare the option had become and doubtin m" ood fortune. - snapped out of it and approached the counter. #NoB No problem. -/d like to check in, please.$ The woman/s nameta said her name was 3"lvia. 3he promptl" set to work on the roundtem, be innin the check%in process and all the identification involved. -s ever"one else havin the technolo " problems too2 -s she here 6ust in case2 Ma"be she 6ust assumed #!achael$ was litchin on me. #7ka". Now we wait a few minutes for the back round checks.$ 3"lvia reclined in a chair. #3o, Mister 9auphin, are "ou travelin 2$ #No. HhB -/m actuall" havin some trouble with m" apartment ri ht now. - 6ust need a place to settle down for the ni ht.$ #0ah. 0nd tomorrow2$ - smiled politel" and went back to the desk. #-/ll worr" about that when - et there.$ #,ell,$ she replied too ea erl". #>et me know if there/s an" wa" - can make tomorrow better.$

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- reached for a second croissant, but decided - wasn/t hun r" an"more. #Tomorrow can/t be betterB Aust please hurr" with the check%in, -/d reall" like to be alone ri ht now.$ #0lone2 ,h"2$ - looked back at her as if insulted. #,h"2 ,h" does there have to be a reason for ever"thin 2$ #-/m sorr",$ she replied. #1ou don/t have to talk about an"thin "ou don/t want to.$ 0 moment passed. 3"lvia waited patientl" and - felt even more like a horrible human bein . #>ookB 3"lvia, ri ht2$ 3he looked up. #- didn/t mean to snap at "ou or an"thin , - 6ustB -/m 6ust reall" havin a bad da". Ma"be "ou know what -/m talkin about. technolo ".$ #Technolo ",$ acknowled ment. #1eah, and here - am,$ - continued, a more enuine smile formin on m" face, #bein helped b" a friendl", flesh%and%blood person and -/m treatin her like some statick holo ram. Ma"be -/m 6ust not used to conversations like this an"more, "ou know2$ - rabbed the second croissant. #Given a choice, "ou chose a ainst the holo ram.$ #1eah, doesn/t ever"bod"2$ - walked back toward the counter. #>et me ask "ou somethin .$ - paused and confirmed she was listenin , takin comfort at the attention. #9o "ou ever think life would be so much better if people 6ust switched all the billboards and holo rams and roundtems off and took the time to talk to each other2$ #- don/t knowB technolo " is makin this a better world ever" da".$ #Not this da".$ she repeated, more as a thou ht than an

3"lvia didn/t respond. - si hed and tried to rela'. #9o "ou have an" kids2 -f "ou don/t mind m" askin , that is.$ #1eah, three sons and a dau hter.$ #,hat do think will happen in the future2 To their kids/ future2 Technolo " ma" cure a disease or help inform us, but - think it/s 6ust ettin more anno"in .$ #7h, - see.$ The roundtem beeped. #(on ratulations, Mister 9auphin,$ 3"lvia said, #"ou are not a serial killer.$ - si hed a ain and stared off into the room. #M" mom will be thrilled to hear it.$ #The room is fifteen%ei ht" per ni ht plus ta'es and - take it "ou won/t need a room with a round terminal. 5reakfast is at si'teen :eroes, checkout at twent"%one. Aust swipe "our wrist on the reader and the entr" code will be for room <<0 upstairs.$ #Thanks.$ - swiped m" wrist b" the reader and m" chip recorded the access code. - heard somethin rustle and turned m" attention to the room. &aranoia, - decided. #- reall" appreciate "ou comin out to help me,$ - said. #-t/s reall" m" pleasure to help.$ ,ith no ba s to worr" about, - refilled m" coffee and rabbed a third croissant for the trip up. The" were still as warm and invitin as when -/d walked in. #- meanB "ou know what -/m talkin about, how a bad da" can reall" et "ou down2$ Ma"be -/m beatin m"self up too much, - thou ht. - don/t need herB and she can certainl" take care of herself. - don/t know, ma"be we can still be friendsB it/s not like she/d ever e'pect a commitment from me an"wa". don/t even have the rin an"more, so ma"be it wasn/t meant to be. -/ll 6ust be

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at Times 3+uare with a friendB with a reall"B reall"B reall" oodB The coffee cup slipped from m" fin ers. - cursed and napkin. #3orr".$ There was a brown stain on the carpet under the cup, as - e'pected@ but the stain wasn/t wet, as if it had been there for da"s. -t seemed like a litch in a ame. The room was completel" silent. 3"lvia hadn/t responded. 0 horrible thou ht came to m" mind. - stood up to face her, and all sensation left m" bod". The e'pression on her face was locked into a sort of cross between back round processin , simulated reflection, and the continuous lee that is an amai/s prime directive. -t was the unmistakable look an"one familiar with modern artificial intelli ence would reco ni:e. a si n that an amai/s software couldn/t process the +uestion properl". 0s it alwa"s does, this look suddenl" broke into an e+uall" bi:arre action. 3"lvia closed her e"es, chuckled, and said, #-t has been a pleasure servin "our 5arresTek toda", wh" not tr" a ain2$ rabbed a

4
If someone became trapped in (ynamic Reality, how would they know what was real and what wasn&t* What anchor can we rely on to tell the difference* It&s not uncommon for people to say the world is falling apart around us. 'ven in strong economies, brothers still rob brothers, wars rage over deep$sea mineral rights, identity theft surges online, and tens of thousands die offline, as victims of the public arsons and massacres always flaring up somewhere in the world. #hen, when the money stops% What anchors us to our happiness* "ow can we know if our foundations are built on sand or stone* When the tide goes low, how much of our foundation do we find leaving with the water* Why shouldn&t people say the world is falling apart* We&ve achieved such great things, yet the rate of invention is slowing. We en/oy astronomical standards of living, yet we complain more than our ancestors. We&re rich, but money is always losing value. We have so much knowledge, yet the value of information only goes down. #here are still hungry people in the world% enough said. #he tide rises and falls again, and we see the solutions still aren&t working. 'ven as we embrace it, we see ourselves further from reality than ever before, and we see that speed has become our defense against the fragile things we built. I put my faith in a button. I never learned, and never wanted to do otherwise, until the old knowledge e!pired. I became trapped and

Cha)ter Three* Normal5 /hate2er That Is

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disoriented, longing, even desperate, for anything to grab onto% as if I

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were in a bubble, knowing everything tangible was beyond my walls. #hen a light reached out and entered into my bubble. #he child&s words were the only truth in an avalanche of lies. #his light was a path for me, taking me far from where I wanted to be. And everywhere I needed to be.

4
The scent of freshl"%brewed amped coffee still lin ered in the room. The croissant in m" hand was still warm and fresh. Nothin in the lobb" appeared out of place. 0ll m" senses said it was real. -t had to be real. wanted more than an"thin for it to be real. The woman/s 6ust to"in with me, - thou ht. This is part of the a B someone/s idea of a 6oke. 3everal seconds passed, the onl" sound comin from a distant monitor in the sittin area. Nothin moved. 3ome intuition told me that, if - so much as breathed, the last fra"ed thread of realit" in the world would break. #1ou/re = not = real = are =$ 3"lvia/s e"es snapped open. #No, T"ler. The correct answer was ;(/, Nairobi, but that was a ver"= 1ou have reached%the%5arresTek%dashboard% "our%account%cannot%be%accessed%forinformationaboutourlearnin pro rams =$ 3"lvia/s ima e be an to lose cohesion and her words sped up until couldn/t understand them. 0fter a few seconds she vanished. 0 feelin of presence sur ed within me. - dropped the pastr" and ran to the other end of the lobb". The sittin area was empt". There were no footprints, no smells, no soundsB nothin . - turned off the monitor and listened carefull". - held up m" wrist, covered in a cold sweat, and felt around m" forearm, swallowin the lump in m" throat. - reali:ed someone was talkin to me. 0 baldin >atino man in a suit was standin where - had been. #(an - help "ou, sir2$ he repeated. #1ou/re not real, are "ou2$ #- assure "ou that -/m ver" real,$ he said with a smile, esturin to the

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counter. #-/m sorr" to have fooled "ou. ,e/re testin new software to improve our customer service. - can see "our encounter wasn/t e'actl" a positive one.$ #- don/t appreciate bein lied toK - am not havin a ood da" hereK$ #3ir, 4alue -nn believes customer satisfaction should be our number one priorit". -f there is an"thin - can do to make this up to "ou, please don/t hesitate to ask.$ Fis words and bod" lan ua e seemed perfectl" enuine, but so had 3"lvia/s. - wondered if this man had pre%pro rammed personal information, kids and all, 6ust like a character in a ame. - wondered 6ust how realistic the amai were becomin and whether - was fallin into some lobal identit" crisis, spreadin throu hout the human race. - knew - couldn/t trust an"thin - saw. - knew - couldn/t trust an"thin at all.
The man took a step toward me. #Tell "ou what, "our sta" toni ht is on us.$

e"es, unsure whether he was man or machine. Fow can - find out if -/m reall" awake2 #1ou want to make it up to me2 (all me a cab.$

The metrocab pulled over three blocks from the !eed 5uildin . The amai in the front seat informed me the road was closed ahead and she couldn/t proceed. 0s - opened the door, #Aulia$ ea erl" tried to talk me into oin other places around the cit"B or an" cit". - i nored her and walked toward the barriers and flashin li hts. - knew that, if m" hunch was ri ht, there was no wa" -/d be able to et back to &aciTek. Man" fire trucks and ambulances were visible in the distance and the smell of smoke rew thicker with ever" step. 3everal police officers were stationed there to keep spectators back. - decided - wasn/t turnin back, that, if - were still ascended, - had nothin to lose an"wa". 7n cue, not one but three lar e officers approached and ordered me to leave the premises, pointin to the cab -/d come from. #- have a sister divin at &aciTek,$ - e'plained. #3he has a rare form of N(I79 and - need to be there when the" et her out of the booth.$ The battle%read" law enforcement bri ade claimed the EMTs were prepared for an" crisis and maintained the"/d arrest me unless - left immediatel". - fei ned defeat and strolled back toward the street, lancin at the spectators who/d athered there. There was no +uiet shock amon them. No kindness between stran ers sharin a tra ed". These were like the e'tras in some film. melodramatic and scripted, their emotion phon" and e'a The" were illusions. Meanwhile, in the direction of the beaches the sk" was perfectl" clear. 0n'iousl" - scanned the stars. 0 cheap, twinklin cop", - thou ht. The same erated.

#NoK$ M" e"es darted around and - clun to a corner. #- can/t sta" here.$

#Fow about New 1ork2 &erhaps we could ive "ou train tickets to New 1ork.$ -f this is a part of some heinous ame, - considered, shouldn/t it be some torturin or embarrassin ni htmare2 ,h" 6ust interfere with m" life2 0nd now he wants to send me to New 1ork. 5ut 4eronica/s in New 1ork. 4eronicaB ma"be she can make it better, thou h. 1esB 4eronica can tell me what/s happenin . 3he/ll fi' it, too. 3he fi'es an"thin . NoB if this is still a simulation then - can/t reach her. Ever"thin is too weird, - have to find out if -/m reall" awake. - emer ed from the sittin area and walked cautiousl" toward the man. The smell of the coffee rew stron a ain. - felt the air - breathed and heard the noises from the street. - still wanted it to be real, but - knew wantin wouldn/t solve the problem. - stood a meter from him and looked into his

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as the stars of Earth. E'cept the bri htest point of li ht had vanished. - reached the curb and ran. The ne't road was blocked, and the one after that. #-/m not ivin up that easil"K$ - "elled throu h increasin l" heav" breaths. The booth can tell m" brain -/m tired, but if m" bod"/s not actuall" movin B the ener " would 6ust keep comin , ri ht2 The third intersection was open. - turned and didn/t stop until - was a ain three blocks from the !eed 5uildin , from a different direction. Thou h no blockade kept me awa", the scene in the distance was even less invitin . forced m"self to continue, directl" toward the buildin . The smoke and heat rapidl" rew worse@ m" breathin was heav" but - didn/t cou h and - didn/t faint from e'haustion. Each step confirmed somethin was wron . - became onl" more determined to reach &aciTek, to e'pose the lie for what it was, no matter what it cost. 0 ust of wind threw a thick plume of ash on me, blottin out the little li ht - had. Thou h - didn/t sense m"self fallin , - felt m" head smack onto the concrete. Fard. - was l"in flat on a bed. 0 shadow darkened m" e"elids and - heard loud snappin . - rabbed the hand over m" face and looked sternl" at its owner. ,ho should be there to reet me but Ethan Hnderhill. #Fe", man. ,elcome back to the world of the liv=$ - rabbed him b" the shirt collar and 6erked him toward me. #Enou h with the amesK Tell me what "ou people wantK$ Fe hesitated, confused. #>ook, 5randon, - think the smoke/s still messin with "our head. -t/s me, 0nim?e e eK$ - shoved him back so hard he nearl" lost his balance. - saw - was in a

hospital recover" room. - couldn/t decide whether -/d reall" been knocked off m" feet, whether -/d lost consciousness or simpl" appeared in a different simulation. The room/s lar e window revealed a ni ht sk" over the cit". M" 3N9> said the time was a little after ten :eroes, still the middle of the ni ht, but that didn/t mean an"thin . 0 hacker could/ve made it sa" an"thin . - tried to din m" parents a ain, sendin the emer enc" fla , but - still ot voicemail. -t was all for er". - was cut off from the outside. Ethan was talkin to a doctor in the doorwa". - remembered - had known an ;0nime/ in middle school, nicknamed for the old Aapanese animated stuff he was into@ but after some bi fi ht we had, - didn/t remember likin him an"more. - wouldn/t have even known what he looked like after ten "ears. The two walked into the room. #Mister 9auphin, "ou inhaled a lot of smoke but seem to have recovered nicel". There are some officers downstairs who/d like to know if "ou/re up to answerin a few +uestions.$ - looked over at Ethan, who was cheeril" oblivious to the world. This kid - hadn/t been friends with in forever suddenl" wanted to catch up with me more than life itself, and - was bein pushed into the role of tour uide. didn/t know who was pullin the strin s or what the cockamamie plan was, but it seemed refusin m" role in it wouldn/t et me out an" faster. #0ctuall", - feel like rabbin a bite with m" old friend Ethan.$

,e refused the doctor/s escort and made a ame of evadin the cops as we left the hospital and ot into his car. Ethan told me a fire started in &aciTek and charred most of the buildin @ he didn/t ask what - was doin runnin into the inferno, but did make a point of sa"in that nothin remained of the fifth

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and si'th floors. Fis shin" new Dark(all 678Ci was the most e'pensive car -/d ever been in, especiall" considerin all the options were installed. from the sensor enhanced heads%up displa" to the refri erator in the center%console. (au ht up as - was sittin in it, thou h, - knew it was 6ust a 9! to"B one an"one could cruise around in, but could never have for realB not without a spare hundred million dollars l"in around. #3oB how/s life treated "ou, Ethan2 ,hat do "ou do for a livin 2$ Fe hesitated. #3ales.$ Ethan didn/t seem as if he were takin part in a rand conspirac"@ rather, he was as odd as an"thin else around me. The Ethan Hnderhill encountered seemed like one - could look up in some -daho state database. never emer in from the data, e'pressin no true personalit", merel" e'ecutin an assi nment ? runnin a pro ram. ,hose pro ram2 To what end2 #3o, where should we o2$ he asked. #- thou ht you were takin me somewhere.$ #(/mon, 5rand. 1ou/re the local.$ 5rand2 The car stopped for a red si nal. - leaned back and stared at m" reflection in the passen er window. #Iine. New 1ork. The onl" place - want to o is New 1ork.$ #3ure, New 1ork it is.$ - looked at him curiousl", at the unflinchin l" naQve look on his face. #3eriousl"2 1ou/re onna drive me to New 1ork2 !i ht now2 That/s not e'actl" a tour of >0, "ou know.$ #- know, but - want to han out. - don/t care.$ #1ouB 1ou/re onna drive across the entire countr" to ;han out/2

Ethan, that doesn/t make an" senseK$ Ethan seemed worried. #- was hopin we couldB "ou knowB talk about life. 1ou know.$ #,hat a(out life2$ #,hat it means, 5rand. ,ho we are and where we/re o=$ #3topK$ - rabbed the steerin wheel and pulled it toward me. #5ut the panel/s reenK$ #There/s no traffic panel, there/s no car, and "ou are not Ethan HnderhillK$ Fe looked pu::led, but - didn/t bu" into it. #1ou/re askin me about the meanin of life and "ou/re drivin around in a 9arkball2 1ou win the lotter" or somethin 2$ #0 car is a thin , how can a thin be the meanin of life2 &lease let me drive.$ #No,$ - said. #,e/re onna cut the games, sta" ri ht here, and "ou/re onna tell me exactly what/s oin onK$ No answer came. Fe became like a statue. - didn/t even see him breathe. #- swear to Mother Earth if "ou tell me ;it/s been a pleasure tr" a ain,/ -/ll=$ #No. No.$ Fe lanced desperatel" at the steerin wheel. #(an - 6ust drive2 &lease2$ #,h", Ethan2 ,ere "ou onl" pro rammed to drive me around forever2 0m - supposed to spend the rest of m" life havin some philosophical chat with "ou2$ Fe continued starin at the steerin wheel. #7ka", "ou want to drive me somewhere2 !and"/s apartment, then@ or Aane/s, or Eric/s. -/ll introduce "ou to one of m" more recent friends, one -

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would know was real or fake in about ten seconds. Ma"be we can o to m" prosperit" a ent/s house, or :ip back to ood ;ol Nampa and have dinner with m" folks, -/ll even show "ou the spot in the basement where - used to hide m" plasmonic fireworks, the one there/s not a shred of information posted online about. 9oes that sound ood to "ou, Ethan2$ Ethan raised his e"es but said nothin . #1ou can show me the park%level of the !eed 5uildin ,$ - continued, #there/s all kinds of ima er" and cameras and ever"thin to tell "ou what that looks like, but did "ou know it/s ille al to post ima es of ascension%sites2$ opened the passen er door and released the steerin wheel. #5"e, Ethan.$ #,aitK$ - stood on the concrete and leaned back in. #,h" is the 0ce of 9iamonds more desired than the Two of 3pades2$ #Hh. The answer to that depends on the ame.$ #(ommunism.$ #(ommunism2 Never heard of=$ #5lack6ack thenK$ Fe stared at the steerin wheel. #The 0ce is more fle'ible, the pla"er can use it as a hi h or low card. The two isB 6ust a low card.$ #Thanks.$ - turned around and took a step. #&lease 5randK$ #1ou know what - want.$ - didn/t look back. ,hen he didn/t repl", - slammed the door. There was no door. - lost m" balance and nearl" fell. The ra"s of the risin sun revealed a barren cit" street with no cars or people. The wind died down and - heard nothin but m" own breathin . #Fello2$ 0n e'tremel" loud noise ripped throu h the silence, an alarm that

came from ever"where. - covered m" ears to no avail. - couldn/t discern what direction it came from and ran into the nearest buildin . Even in its deepest, insulated, rooms the noise didn/t diminish at all. The noise stole m" abilit" to concentrate, and - couldn/t tell where was runnin . 7n pure instinct - tried to et awa" from the pain, m" onl" action an unthinkin re%action. M" onl" thou hts were of the noise. The noise was consumin me and - had no idea how to escape it. - had become too absorbed in the alarm to even notice the wind pickin up around me, tr"in to et m" attention. 0n intense ust finall" knocked me off m" feet, snappin me back into realit", callin m" focus to somethin be"ond the noise. - stopped m" search and tried to focus, burnin to know what - was missin . - had to shout even in m" own thou hts. 37ME7NEK &>E03EK 3FHT TF0T TF-NG= 0t last. -t stopped. - was at the same intersection where -/d started, and - was still alone. Ever"one was one, "et the despair didn/t seem so stran e to me an"more. 5ut - knew the alarm had stopped, its power over me taken awa", and in its absence - sensed a need, a feelin as plain as hun er. - looked at the risin sun and wondered what - was supposed to do. ,hat am - supposed to find2 The thou ht surprised me. - looked in ever" direction, for an"thin obvious, or an"thin out of place. - need a path. - cleared m" mind until the onl" thin - perceived was the wind. The wind was blowin east, down the street to m" ri ht. - opened m" e"es and took a deep breath. -t can/t be that simple.

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0t times it was a ust, and other times the bree:e was barel" there at all. - be an to doubt it meant an"thin , but the wind continued east and therefore - continued east, throu h countless blocks that seemed so identical to one another - wasn/t sure - was movin at all. #1ou look hun r".$ - fro:e. The voice had come from behind. -t was a kind voice, the voice of a real person. - turned and immediatel" reco ni:ed the sandcastle builder. The child was holdin a door open. #(ome on in. 5reakfast is on me.$

5
What is the meaning of life* #he +uestion is as philosophical as they come, not one pri0ed by those who stumble through their lives e!pecting no better from tomorrow. 2ur ancestors looked to powerful deities and myths for meaning1 many others pledged their beliefs to things scientific and observable through the senses. #heir meaning came from the control they&d claimed the magic pill that would make it rain on the fields or prevent an earth+uake. #he theory is paraded as fact until nature wipes it out, stranding the faithful until another easy answer can be rushed into circulation. #he meaning of life, I believed, was to be a good person. I knew things would work themselves out and life would go on after me. 'ven as I grew up and threw the +uestion away, some tried to tell me I&d been created, while others tried to tell me I&d congealed in primordial soup, and still others wanted me to think aliens were watching me from cloaked satellites. I didn&t care. I had more important things to do. #hen an AI asked me the +uestion, but why would some hacker go through so much trouble to ask something stupid* It was /ust part of their game, I told myself. I could only think of escape, even as I lost focus on what I wanted to escape to, and there was no magic pill for me, no illusion or piece of code could fi! the man I was. 2nly when I stopped trying to find the easy answer did I see a better one had been there all along. I felt alone and so I became alone% until a hand guided me from the noise and gave me what I didn&t know I needed, something I would find myself admiring.

Cha)ter 0our* Closed /indow9 ')en Door

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5
,e walked into a spacious coffee house. 0 bar defined the center of the room and tables sprawled around it. 7n our ri ht was a sta e where 6a:: musicians were performin . The rowin mornin li ht came in throu h broad front windows, beautifull" hi hli htin ever" subtle accent of old and silver used in the interior/s desi n. 0 barista bent down when she saw the bo" and hu ed him. #Fi, !askob. &eace to "ou.$ #Fi, 3allie. More to "ou.$ 0 calm sense came over me, as if m" worries were suddenl" so small the"/d lost all meanin , as if all alon the" held no more power than a tin" ant. There was an ener " within the room that seemed to pro6ect from the child. The room itself welcomed him, and he the room. - could feel the ener " purif"in me in some wa". -t seemed tan ible enou h to reach out and touch. #0lwa"s happ" to see a new face here. -/m 3allie.$ #HhB 5randon.$ - tentativel" shook the woman/s hand. 3allie conducted herself with 6o" and confidence. Fer uniform was neat and her movements were fluid, demonstratin professionalism even in mundane tasks, even in tasks where professionalism had lon been for otten. 3he seemed authentic in ever" wa", like someone who en6o"ed life. Ever"one in the room loved her, and she loved ever"one in the room, even a stran er like me. Ior all the complainin -/d done about customer service oin to artificial intelli ence, it seemed onl" then - found what service was reall" supposed to be. - alwa"s knew what - didn/t want. - never considered what did. - never even looked for a place to start. The thou ht of 6ealous" came to me, more as a memor" of the emotion than an"thin - could appl". - asked m"self wh" ever"one else should be so
CAFFEINE

happ" in this miserable world, but the +uestion flipped around to become. ,h" should - be so miserable in this happ" world2 Aealous" was somehow impossible in that place. The" had nothin - couldn/t simpl" ask for. 3allie led us to the best table in the room, in a front corner. The li ht of the window reflected from a surface of polished maho an" and utensils of pure cr"stal. The sk"%blue chairs were as comfortable as l"in on a pillow. was startled to see a broadsword hun on the wall beside the window, certain such an ob6ect would be ille al in a real shop. Given 9!/s creative licenses, thou h, - decided it was a bold and uni+ue decoration for a coffee house. #TFE ,01$ was etched on a pla+ue underneath the sword. 3allie ran down a short list of specials, treatin the pitch for each item with the care someone mi ht use servin the &rime Minister of Europe. The options overwhelmed me, all choices between loft", rich thin s - had no e'perience with or ri ht to even tr". #Aust an 0mber &lus, please.$ #!e ular coffee,$ !askob said. #3tandard brew.$ The bo" didn/t appear an" older than eleven or twelve, thou h his behavior was closer to that of a wise old man. Fe conducted himself with a universal, durable leisure. The look in his e"es seemed soft and intense all at once, revealin a sense of value and peace that cut to m" core. - welcomed the emotion, enou h to know - wanted to know it better, but be"ond that it seemed to run out of tune, and in some bi:arre wa" that made me feel like I was the one out of tune with it. #- didn/t know people could still bu" un%amped coffee,$ - said. #There is no need to build on what is alread" found in nature.$ 3allie returned with our orders, much faster than -/d e'pected. noticed a red band on her wrist, with a silver markin embedded in its fibers. #,hat brou ht "ou here, 5randon2$ !askob asked, sippin his coffee.

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#The wind,$ - replied, lookin toward the windows. #- think.$ #-t/s ama:in . The wind could level this cit" in a sin le blast, but it chooses to displa" itself as a entle bree:e.$ #The wind chose2$ #The wind is even here in 9"namic !ealit". -t blows as surel" as it does in the real world. Even the scent of coffee and the sound of music are here.$ #3o then, we/re not pretendin this is real life2$ - said, openin m" slampak and witnessin its familiar startup se+uence. !askob shook his head sli htl". #No. No pretendin here.$ - saw a black and red ob6ect appear in the corner of m" e"e. The descender had returned to m" wrist. #-t/s somethin built b" man on top of real lifeB modeled after it. -t/s a more controllable version of it.$ #1eah,$ - said, slowl" returnin m" vision to him, #9"namic !ealit" has iven us man" thin s.$ #0nd taken awa" more.$ - didn/t respond. !askob sat peacefull" as - looked around the crowded room and tried to et some bearin on it. 0ll who entered were reeted in a friendl" manner. 0ll who left seemed refreshed and ener etic, driven to return to their own corner of realit" and make life better within it. - saw man" en6o"in themselves on the ver" delicacies -/d re6ected, man" of which couldn/t even reco ni:e, and seemin all the more appeti:in for it. #- used to think it was ridiculous, "ou know, eatin in 9!.$ #9id somethin chan e "our mind2$ - looked at him sh"l", tr"in to remain aware of m" thou hts. #&eople ;eat/ in 9!,$ - said. #-t/s not even a social thin an"more or 6ust a wa" to satisf" temptation without caloriesB people actuall" ;eat/ as if

the" had to here. -=$ - smiled. -t seemed like a sill" thin to admit, but - felt like - wanted to. 3omethin about !askob made me feel it was safe to talk about an"thin , not worr"in what he would think. #-= - don/t knowB - never noticed before, but - uess - do it, too. don/t even alwa"s feel like it, it/s 6ustB habit, - uess.$ #1our trips used to be a few hours@ but, over the "ears, "ou/ve spent more of "our life here.$ #1eah. - uess - washed out,$ - said, rubbin m" fin er on the table. #,hat do "ou reall" want, 5randon2 ,h" are "ou here2$ #- 6ust followed the wind. There was this horrible noise but it went awa".$ #1ou were lost and in turmoil, but "ou asked for help and ot it.$ - looked up, starin at m" slampak. #-s there somethin - need2$ !askob leaned forward and put his hand on mine. #1ou want to be stron and brave, but somethin is stuck in the wa". 1ou don/t want to admit to "ourself that "ou have needs "ou can/t meet on "our own. 5randon, thou h the details chan e from person to person, - want "ou to know that what "ou/re oin throu h is a road countless people have traveled. That/s wh" "ou/re here. &recious few see where that road leads toB the"/re the few who ask for help.$ #NoK$ - shouted, shovin m" slampak off of the table. The streak of an er abandoned me as +uickl" as it came. - felt tears on m" face and didn/t know wh" the" were there. - saw !askob/s hand was still calml" on mine. #,h" do "ou care about me2$ - asked, confused. #5ecause that/s how the world is supposed to work.$ - saw 3allie three meters awa", carefull" cleanin the floor with a

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towel, as if she couldn/t simpl" delete the spill. - could detect no trace of bitterness towards me for makin the mess. 3allie seemed to en6o" even that task, not because it was a distraction from somethin worse, but because it allowed her to demonstrate her service to others. #There is a hatred "ou have buried deep within "ourself. -t calls itself b" man" names, even love, but it is not love. >ove is what "ou once ave to those closest to "ou. >ove is what "ou look back on as an unattainable alien thin . Now "our hatred is failin , but hatred is all "ou know. Fatred will not allow "ou to for ive an"one.$ The intensit" in his e"es was unmistakable. Fis ever" word struck a chord, but - had no response to them. #- tell "ou now, 5randon. 1ou will need to choose between "our love and "our hate. 1ou can/t serve both. There are no e'ceptions or compromises.$ #5ut -/m not a hateful man,$ - thou ht aloud. #- don/t know what "ou/re talkin about.$ #That "ou hate yourself is evidence that "ou do.$ - felt numb. 0 person did appear in m" mind, a person - loved like a brother who had hurt me ver" deepl", who -/d remembered hurtin me ver" deepl". No, - decided. -t can/t be him. Fe never even apolo i:ed. There/s no wa" this kid can know about that black sheep, an"wa". Fe/s askin too much. -t/s not hate. -t/s 6ust a break from talkin . - brou ht m"self to look awa" from himB to the floor, because ever"thin in the store ave me the same feelin of pain, hi hli htin the hole - couldn/t fill in m" heart and the stubbornness -/d become far too aware of. #3oB did, uhB 9id "ou write this2 0re "ou a pro rammer2$ #-t was created b" a man - met in a park in 5erlin twent" "ears a o,$

he said. #Fe had a un hidden in his coat and was about to kill himself. Fe had ifts he wasn/t aware of. - showed him another wa".$ #7hB ,as that when he became a pro rammer2$ #Fe adds so much beaut" to his world and he ives me credit in all of it. Thou h, none of it compares to the work of m" father.$ - looked up, tr"in to re ain some coura e. #3o "ou/re a pro rammer/s son2$ Fe nodded. #0nd what did "our dad build2$ #Fave "ou ever heard the phrase ;there/s life in the machines/2$ #- think soB 1eah.$ - smiled. #There are rumors sa"in there are some self%aware amai online@ artificial intelli ence with free will.$ #5ut how does free will come into bein 2$ #- didn/t think it happened at all.$ #-t does.$ !askob took a sip of coffee. #- remember when m" father built a hu e environment. Fe put ever"thin he had into it and he loved it@ he populated it with creatures who had free will. The pro rammin was perfect. -ts codin was simpl" called ;beautiful./$ #That/s ama:in .$ #5ut, thou h all the creatures were desi ned with the abilit" to e'pand outside of the construct, man" instead became lued to the rules the" had been born into. There was much rebellion@ and the rebels led man" astra", convincin others that m" father didn/t care about them, or even den"in the e'istence of an"thin outside their universe. 0s powerful as the opposition was, thou h, some persevered and kept others stron . The" did reat thin s in the name of their creator, even sacrificin what the" had there.$ #,ellB wh" didn/t "our father 6ust delete the rebels and punish the ones who turned awa"2 ,h" didn/t he 6ust pro ram them all to serve him2$

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#5ecause that would o a ainst their free will and a ainst m" father/s purposes. To force someone into devotion accomplishes nothin , but when the" sacrifice it all willin l" and lovin l" it/s trul" remarkable. Even one true servant is worth more than an" number of slaves.$ Fe paused but - had no response. #3o his love was reciprocated and he saw to it that the" would eventuall" be free of the rebels. Fe built a new environment for them where the" could live in 6o" and adoration after their ;natural time/ was up in the first world@ but, to rescue them from the hands of the rebelsB$ !askob stopped and his tone became rim. #The population reached a point where laws and divisions were necessar". M" father put them in place, thou h it was his intention to do awa" with them at the ri ht time. The rebels ea erl" abused the laws for their own ends and the time came to free the people ? his children ? and set up a final victor"@ but satisf"in the law once and for all re+uired him to make a sacrifice himselfB one that pained him.$ Fe stopped, and the room was silent. - was rieved seein the pain on his face. -t was a ver" personal pain, so much so - felt - caused it m"self. #,hat did he ive up2$ - asked. - finall" noticed 3allie standin b" our table, cr"in as she and !askob shared a somber lance at each other. 3he remembered the new slampak in her hand and placed it on the table in front of me, sniffin and raisin the hand to wipe her face. #- 6ust wanted to see if there was an"thin else - could do for "ou.$ #Thank "ou, 3allie,$ he replied. #,e/re fine.$ - noticed the increasin sunli ht outside and remembered it was onl" an echo of mornin in 3tandard !ealit". #3omethin new is happenin in the world, 5randon. -ma ine "ou/re trapped in a speedin car bein driven b" a woman who/s lookin for

someone. 3he is amon the lost, trapped between two worlds. The road will be difficult ahead, but she means "ou no harm and, if "ou trust me to protect "ou, "ou/ll both et where "ou need to o.$ - looked at him. #0 woman2$ #The one who has captured "ou.$ M" a:e returned to the floor. Iear rew inside of me. ,hat woman2 9id he 6ust sa" she #captured$ me2 ,hat can - do2 Fow do - et back2 Fow= - felt !askob/s hand on mine a ain. The fear evaporated and was replaced b" a measure of 6o". - looked at him like he was a savior, as if he were the onl" one who could reach down and pull me from the cliff. #9oes that make "ou the ood u"2$ - asked in anticipation. #,h" do "ou call me ood2$ - felt confused at his response. #,hat is ood2$ he continued. #,hat is evil2 7n what basis can a man 6ud e such a matter2 -f the one who considers such thin s can neither liberate nor condemn another, how much less can the one who does not consider such thin s2$ #-/m sorr",$ - said, meanin it, #- don/t understand what "ou/re tr"in to sa".$ #That/s because "ou hear m" words and nothin else, 5randon. Man" can speak words, and man" do speak words, in m" name, to those who do not know me@ but - tell "ou now that "our e"es and ears can be opened, and when "ou find understandin "ou will know that it was a ift and that the onl" power "ou had was to accept or decline it. 8now that the ift is the onl" thin that can save both "ou and "our captor.$ #3ave m" captor2 ,h" would -=$ #- have iven "ou rest. 3he isn/t aware of where "ou are now, but "ou

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must return, because no one can find what the" need if there is no one to uide them.$ - tensed. #5ut can/t "ou 6ust send me home2$ Fe set his hand on the table and a lass of clear water materiali:ed before it. Fe ave the water to me. #The workers need to be prepared for the road ahead. 5lessed are those who persevere.$ - e'amined the lass. #5ut it/s 6ust water.$ Fe nodded. #- promise "ou that it/s all "ou need.$ - reali:ed - was thirst". - considered the drinks in front of me. the familiar 0mber &lus and the unimpressive water. Iree will, eh2 - slid the water toward me and picked it up, observin its clarit" and the wa" sunli ht reflected off its surface. -t tasted sweeter than hone" in m" mouth and - drank it faster, as if the lass would never run empt". - became ener i:ed, feelin incredible@ then, somethin occurred to me. 0 dull pain immediatel" spread over m" bod". - nearl" choked. #Twent" "ears2$ 0 horn blasted behind me. - spun around and a rushin pedestrian knocked into me. The lass slipped from m" hands and shattered on the concrete. #5randon, please. The"/re ettin madK$ - was b" Ethan/s 9arkball a ain. !ush hour was in full swin and cars were cuttin around him. - tried to remember where - 6ust was and what -/d dropped. There was nothin on the concrete. - ached ever"where and m" senses were overwhelmed, as if -/d stepped from an ascension booth ri ht into the middle of a sled %ek dance skein. The sunli ht hurt. The noise hurt. instinctivel" tried to fi ht it all and was rewarded with a di::" sensation. 0fter onl" a few seconds, the li ht and noise faded and - wasn/t able to

think. ,ords and characters filled m" vision. M0>97!0N 03(EN3-7N M0%CJ. &0(-TE8 C1C. 7N>-NE. 90H&F-N 5!0N97N 3-N9EN. H&T-ME 1E 02 1D. 5& 1*CR101 F! 1CC. !EM 78. H&>-N8 %%%%&bitRs S(0N(E>>E9 I7! (7MM0N9 -N&HTS ENTE! 313 0((E33 8E1 TeJlTshEhrheEerntvoJ!eC"uhotTT1*hsaiFa1iadnD3eEenlre7ah,tenCFvh1ie hCN!*t EesT5ldo>tEI>O e0DJ0husrsdlINthreom79tpm9shT-*nhFh1E3 hee ou4n oiia"9FthetroNlorcllCEa= The stream suddenl" broke off and the faded cit" returned. The 9arkball was one a ain, but the street appeared normal. - stumbled onto the sidewalk and looked for a bench to sit on. Ethan was drivin me, then - ot mad and tried to leave. - was alone. There was a noise. Then - sawB Then -= M" descenderK M" hand was promptl" on m" wrist, but there was no descender. - screamed out a curse and nearl" broke down on the sidewalk a ain, but - pushed the an er awa" and felt somethin remembered walkin someone. 3lowl", - be an in the direction - had one before, recallin somethin about wind, anno"ed at how it seemed to be affected b" each passin car and opened shop door. - 6ust went in one direction, unsure of what -/d find. east, followin inside me respond. somethin ? somethin , findin

No people blocked m" path. No traffic panel ? no traffic at all ? made me wait. No holo rams, incomin dins, or distractions of an" kind detained

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me. 3omeone was clearl" watchin me and rollin out the red carpet for m" ever" step. - 6ust wished - knew whether it was the ood u" or the bad. The memories of the coffee house slowl" returned. - wanted to find !askob a ain. M" mind filled with +uestions - was shocked hadn/t come earlier. 5lock after block and - couldn/t reco ni:e an"thin . - became an r" at !askob, an r" at him for pla"in home. - reached what had to be the hundredth intersection and stopped, seein nothin that resembled the coffee house. &arked down a cross%street, thou h, - spotted somethin that had become ver" familiar to me over the last several hours. #Thank "ou for ridin 0naheim >i htnin 5olt,$ the amai said as - ot into the back seat of the metrocab. #,here can - take "ou this mornin , 5randon2$ #There/s a coffee place on that road. Tell me where it is.$ #1es, Mister 9auphin. There is a 89N E'press, a 3lammers, two ,el% &erks, and four public 97I- (enters within "our search criteria.$ #No,$ - replied. #-t/s not a overnment or con lomerate%run store, it was small and privatel"%owned. -t was filled with people, so it has to be popular enou h to come up somewhere.$ #-/m sorr", 5randon. - found three privatel"%owned coffee shops within fift" kilometers, but none of them are on that road.$ - leaned back in the seat and took even breaths, pla"in back over ever"thin in m" mind. #&lease state "our destination, Mister 9auphin. - can best one.$ The amai spoke in the usual overl"%friendl" wa", never lookin awa" uide "ou throu h the customer reviews of local coffee shops and help "ou choose the ames with me and not 6ust lettin me o

from the street before her, never havin to look an"where because the cab/s sensors did the drivin . - noted the reflection of her e"es in the rear%view mirror. Even for a robot, the" 6ust didn/t seem +uite ri ht. #,e/re sta"in ri ht here. - want to know who/s behind this.$ #-/m sorr", 5randon. - don/t understand the +uestion.$ #Fow do - descend2 Fow do - return to 3tandard !ealit"2$ #This is 3tandard !ealit", Mister 9auphin.$ - rubbed m" forehead and took a moment to think. To clear m" head. was sweatin a ain, which wasn/t normal for a vanitarB not unless a ame called for it. 5ut - knew - was still ascended. - knew - needed to find a wa" out. - leaned forward and summoned ever" bit of knowled e - had about computers. #Tell me "our s"stem information.$ - commanded the amai. #1es, Mister 9auphin,$ she replied leefull". #- have been enerated b" a 3lidewire%certified H1%t"pe amai script as ;Aennifer,/ instance five, default female classification@ m" pro ram is re istered to !eeeee= the (alifornia 3tate 9epartment of &ublic Transport under the 5usiness, Transportation and Fousin 0 enc", license number one%five%nine=$ #Errors,$ - commanded. #0re there errors in "our pro ram2$
#1es, 5randon. Error code five%three%five%:ero has been set on this unit.$

3he was silent. #,hat/s a five%three%five%:ero2$ #-/m sorr", Mister 9auphin. That is not a valid error code. &lease state "our destination.$ ,hat2 #1ou 6ust said "our pro ram set an error codeK$ - rabbed the seat and leaned further up. #Iive%three%five=$ 0 shock of reali:ation washed over me. - fell back.

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#No errors have been reported on this unit.$ -t was the e'act same s"nthetic voice -/d heard a million times before, but, in that moment, the sli htest malicious tone seemed to be buried within it, pro6ected b" m" mind onto m" senses. #,h"2$ - asked absentl", lookin back at the rear%view mirror, tr"in to assess what was controllin the amai. Ever"thin around me seemed infected suddenl" ? dirt" and able to harm me. 1ou/re infected b" a virus, thou ht, as if pointin it out to the amai would chan e an"thin , as if someone of m" skill could ever hope to escape aB -/m oin to die, aren/t -2 - reall" can/t et out. #-/m sorr", 5randon. - do not have that information.$ There/s no information here, - thou ht franticall". The"/re in control of all of it. - need to o somewhere new, a place where there mi ht be too much for them to chan e all at once. -t/s m" onl" hope, a slim chance to find a wa" out before the" can block it off. #There are no limits to where "ou can o,$ the amai said. - took a deep breath, and stru burst out.
#>ibraries,$ - said. #- wanna o to the (entral >ibrar", that bi one in >0.$

- passed throu h empt" securit" posts and into the crowded librar". 0nother barrier convenientl" removed for me. ,hen a passin shoulder. M" fin er went throu h him as if - were a host. - put m" hand on a nearb" table. -t felt solid. - called to one of the people sittin a few meters awa". #E'cuse me.$ The man didn/t respond. M" hand passed throu h the book he held, but not the ones on the bookshelves. - took one off onl" to find the same book still on the shelf. - opened the one in m" hands and flipped its pa es as +uickl" as could, watchin for the split%second the words rendered onto them. - dropped it and rabbed a second book, openin it immediatel", openin it in the middle. - saw the be innin of the first chapter. The"/re slowin down, - thou ht. The"/re messin up. Ma"be - was ri ht. Ma"be - can ive them more data than the" can handle at once. Malvirai or no. 0 second The uard approached from a distance, as oblivious to m" in m" aisle/s narrow presence as the first. - felt an ache and the li ht around me started to shimmer. uard stopped to look at somethin , standin entrance. - watched carefull" and reali:ed his ima e was becomin blurr". Fe turned and took another step towards me, vanishin as he entered the aisleB uard didn/t seem to notice me, - brou ht m"self to follow him and tap him on the

led to restrain the fear that wanted to

- spent the cab ride shuttin m"self off from m" surroundin s, puttin m" thou hts in order. ,hat if a malvirai infected m" booth, - thou ht@ that/s wh" its controls don/t work, but then shouldn/t - be dead b" now2 7bviousl", it/s a hacker pullin the strin s, but who2 ,hat could the" possibl" want from me2 - stepped out and the cab left. - felt like a soldier who suddenl" reali:ed he was deep within enem" territor", alone, and bein watched.

no lon er in the view of a camera. #,elcome to >os 0n eles &ublic >ibrar", Mister 9auphin. ,hat can help "ou find2$ There was some kind of lowin effect around the librarian amai. -t was spreadin to ever" ob6ect in the room. #1our books are malfunctionin .$ #&lease state "our search parameters.$

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#Iine,$ - said. #- need a book or somethin about 9"namic !ealit". need to know how to descend without a descender.$ #3cience fiction. ,e also have some horror stories like that. - will take "ou there.$ #No. -f it happened in=$ 3omethin moved on the holo ram/s -9 bad e. !andom s"mbols and markin s filled the area where a name would normall" be. 0 flutterin noise emer ed from the distance. The achin rew worse and the noise became louder. The markin s on her bad e shifted a ain, and its entire surface was filled with the random s"mbols. The li ht shimmered more stron l" and the air became different, char ed. - saw ever" ob6ect in the room flicker into oblivion and 6ump back into e'istence. Now all the books were solid. Now all the words were reall" on the pa es. The books all suddenl" switched positions. - dropped the one in m" hands and stepped awa" from it. -t wasn/t the same book -/d taken from the shelf. #>isten, - 6ust want to leaveK This doesn/t happen in real lifeK$ #,hat/s real and what isn/t is in the e"e of the beholder, Mister 9auphin.$ The air became heavier a ain, some intense static char e bein drawn into it. The amai/s -9 bad e became a blur of activit". The books shifted a ain and - heard the pa es rustlin in the shelves, becomin louder, as if the" had be un 6umpin individuall" between the books. The" took the real librar" and made it into a 9! constructB or at least the"/re tr"in toK - was ri htB there/s too much data hereK The illusion is breakin down and - have to act now, or - mi ht miss this chanceK - rabbed the librarian b" the shoulders. #- want to descend, or - want "ou to tell me how to descendK$ - stru

3he didn/t respond. 3he didn/t move. #(ommandB uhB list "our functionsK Establish some connection to the outside worldK NowK$ #The re+++++uesssssst%t%ted fuuunct%function has been been dissss% disabled b" the admin%administrrrrrrator, pl%pl%pleaseB$ Ener " poured into the air at an incredible rate. - remembered how the 8orea simulation ended and sprinted back into the lobb", which had become a complete visual blur. - was knocked off m" feet and m" entire bod" tin led, as if the blood were bein drained from me, as if muscle commands weren/t ettin from m" brain to m" vanitar. - witnessed whiteboards, terminal displa"s and airG panels, the millions of books, all the matter within the buildin , 6umpin . shiftin positions instantl", faster and faster, in some wa" that appeared like dancin . #!e+uest for information.$ The same librarian appeared in front of me, lookin at me with dead e"es, dead e"es that seemed as unnaturall" ener i:ed as ever"thin else in the roomB packin the char e of a bolt of li htnin . #!e+uest for new information.$ ,ith each word, her voice became more monotone. 3he barel" moved. led to breathe and lift m"self from the round, to overcome the increasin treesK$ #3ta"%awa"%from%trees,$ she repeated. - looked at her with a mi'ture of horror and confusion. The air in the room crackled and vibrated, becomin so char ed with ener " it seemed it could spontaneousl" combust. The last of the people in the room, real or not, vanished. The random markin s had spread to ever" surface in the librar". The amai/s lips no lon er moved normall" and her words be an runnin to ether, ravit" and the hesitation of m" simulated nervous s"stem.

#New = information2$ - mana ed to repl", #3ta" = awa" = from =

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the most basic illusions bein compromised as if the overflowin ener " were bein sucked out and channeled elsewhere. #(apricorn%for%9ecember%nineteenth%>ike%fallin %leaves%the% problems%of%"our%life%will%break%awa". >eo%for%9ecember%second%5e%war"% Taurus%for%7ctober% of%ve etation%but%use%flowers% enerousl"%this%week. trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%treesB$ - broke throu h the transluce' door and bolted out onto the street. 3treakin rainwater felt like tin" knives slicin throu h m" bod", and the impossible speed of it created a hi h%pitched whooshin noise that shrieked from all directions. - fou ht intense pain and blindl" ran down what - 6ud ed to be the sidewalk, runnin into people who weren/t there and deep puddles that didn/t splash. - stopped when it felt like - was under somethin ? a canop". - could barel" open m" e"es to see the waterfall surroundin me. None of it seemed survivable, thou h the canop" above m" head didn/t collapse, the paint wasn/t scraped off the walls, and the normal street drains somehow kept up. 0ll in the same instant, the noise calmed and the air/s ener " faded. peeked throu h m" fin ers to find a normal rainstorm on a normal street, as if the motion of the world had simpl" slowed to its normal pace. - looked to the sk" and saw da"li ht had returned. Thou h now, onl" a few hours after sunrise, the sun was alread" far in the ,est.

of real cars, like the people in the librar", or complete fabrications. The wall behind me is solid. &erhaps the" are, too, - thou ht. -n the distance, - heard the entle purr of an FF%cell en ine, perhaps from a >eGrande or a To"ota. ,hen - saw the headli hts - swallowed nervousl". M" breaths were shallow and - was tremblin . - knew - didn/t want to. -t seemed wron . -t seemed ri ht. -t seemed like m" onl" option. 9esperate times, as the" sa". The rain drenched m" face, m" e"es were shut ti ht and m" breath held. - heard the loud s+ueal of tires and felt a tin l" wind. The sound of the rain cut off into silence. - opened m" e"es, standin unharmed in the middle of the road. The car had demateriali:ed. The rain had stopped. The cit" was +uiet, e'cept for the steps of a woman walkin in the road. 3he stopped three meters from me, observin me. - saw her face and her descender. - remembered where - had seen her before. 5lack6ack table. Modern clothin had replaced the 3oviet uniform and, without the cap coverin it, hair that appeared white was reflectin the streetli hts above with a faint silver luminance. #,ho are "ou2$ #There is onl" one thin "ou need to know, Mister 9auphin.$ Fer words were spoken in neither love nor hate. Fer e"es were a pu::le. Fer face revealed no emotion. Even as her ne't words shook to m" core, that which was behind them seemed ver" alien. Fers was the impersonal

thirtieth%3ta"%awa"%from%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%trees%

#!askobK 1ou said "ou had m" back, manK Felp me outK$ The ni ht came +uickl". - stood under an overpass as the rain continued. The effect of the miserable water !askob ave me finall" be un to subside and - could think strai ht a ain. - wanted answers. - wanted freedom. The bo" said to trust him, but he wasn/t helpin me at all. Ever" minute or so, a car would pass. - wondered if the" were echoes
CAFFEINE

statement of a fact, of thin s decided before -/d even stepped into the ascension booth. #-f "ou don/t start cooperatin , -/ll kill "ou.$

Cha)ter 0i2e* :ighest %takes

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PART|TWO
#he energy of the fire continued to build1 it was all she knew to do.

6
0 warm li ht materiali:ed above m" head. The rain stopped hittin me and - reali:ed it had been pourin a ain. #3ill" man, do somethin K$ - blinked. The woman with the descender was one a ain. #Fe", do "ou hear me sill" man2 9on/t stand in the road when Tersens Game and Casino is offerin no%limit Te'as Fold ;Em with double swipe% and%win pointsK ,e reall" want to see "ou thereK$ - turned and saw a short woman standin ne't to me, a sales%amai. couldn/t even re ister her as an anno"ance. - could onl" think of the feelin of presence, of the woman pullin the strin s of the world, the last world - ma" ever see. 9id she reall" sa" she would kill me2 ,hat kind of ps"cho did - run into2 ,hat did she mean b" #cooperate$2 3omeone rabbed m" arm and be an pullin on it. #(/mon 5randon, don/t stand in the roadK 9o somethin K$ - 6erked m" arm from her rip and stepped awa". The pavement of the street be an to chan e, all the thin s around me becomin 3omethin bri hter. be an to occup" the air, not so much a scent, but a familiar

3ine would become like so many other stories one of good versus evil, of losing an old identity and gaining a new one, of life. It wasn&t a story I&d wanted, and it wasn&t a story I could depart from or /ust let play out around me. It was unyielding and it was personal. #he stage was set, and I had met the one assigned to be my enemy. 3ine would become like trillions of stories that appear on the grand stage of (ynamic Reality, but not as an illusion% not a matter of simulated reality, but of all reality, not of the man I said I was, but of the man I truly was, of him who survives when the liar is gone% when the impostor known as -randon (auphin gets burned away in the light of the day. 'ven as the road ahead became darker, the light which had been growing inside of me was being amplified, harnessed by another for her own ends, analy0ed like a piece of software she couldn&t understand. 3ine would become like so many other stories I would have a choice to make and a life to save. I would find myself as the humble hero against the powerful foe, needing new answers to solve old problems. 4ike so many, though, I would also need a friend to lean on and a home to return to% things the impostor knew nothing of. #his story is about what lies beyond his hori0on, beyond the walls he used to protect himself. #his story is about losing the impostor. #his story is about losing my limits. #he limits consumed in the growing fire.
CAFFEINE

sweetness. - watched the mounts of a han in street si n vanish, so it be an to float like a ma ical ob6ect. The rain became a dri::le and sparkled like cr"stal. - asped, knowin the real cit" of >os 0n eles was transformin around me into= #-f 9"namic !ealit" is what "ou want, then 9"namic !ealit" is what "ou etK$ - turned to the amai. #- don/t want to die.$ #9ie2$ 3he repeated, too leefull".

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#1eah, dieK End of lifeK TerminationK Goin awa" and never comin backK$

#- don/t know, 5randonB 1our environment was a flawless recreation of >os 0n eles. 0d6ustments are merel" bein made to make "ou ;activeK/$ #- don/t want to be ;activeK/ - want to o back to 3tandard= the real worldK$ #,h" don/t "ou 6ust pretend2 Ever"bod" pretendsK -t/s funK$ The little stren th - had fled from me and - felt petrified. -t was a reaction from deep within, a conflict - knew nothin about. Ever"bod" pretends. The thou ht tore at m" insides. The ache had returned. -t/s fun. -t had been spoken as a fact. &eople took it as a fact. - knew - had been livin b" the code of that statement. -t had been fun, - thou ht. 7nce. #The womanK$ - shouted. #3top hidin behind illusions and=$ - had to stop and breathe. #0nd face meK$

0 tear slid down m" cheek. The dumb amai held no emotion at all. There was no bod" lan ua e, tears, voice tone, or an"thin at all to indicate she was a real, thinkin bein B that she could actuall" consider a da" when someone would unplu her pro6ector and melt it down for rec"clin . #1ou/ll ;die/ over our specials, Mister 9auphinK Ilamin hot win s for onl" three thirt"%nineK (/monK$ 3he tried to pull me toward the nearb" club. 0 ain, - 6erked m" arm from her rip, knowin 9"namic !ealit" was rippin me ti hter, as it had so man" times before. #(/mon, 5randonK 1ou don/t want to stand in the roadK 1ou don/t like doin nothingK$ - didn/t respond. #1ou like parties and friends and hot bands like iming for /ednesdayK The"/re onna perform toni ht and "ou gotta be thereK$ #- want to see that woman,$ - replied, #the one - was 6ust with.$ #-/m sorr", Mister 9auphin, - can/t help "ou with that, but - can help "ou find the luckiest slot machine and ive "ou tips to improve "our oddsK$ - looked toward the street and raised m" voice. #-/m askin nicel"K$ #,e have lots of sin le women inside, or if "ou like me it/s eas" to=$ #NoK$ - faced her with an r", offended e"es. #5ut if "ou 6ust come inside=$ #- = want = to = see = that = wo=man,$ - replied. #- don/t know what an" of this is about, but -/m not doin e'planation.$ #-f there is a problem,$ the amai stated, without loss to her happ" tone, #6ust tell me and it/ll be fi'edK$ #,hat kind of ;problem/2$ an"thin until et an

#,h" do somethin unpleasant2 (/mon, "ou can pla" an" ame "ou wantK$
,h" is ever" word comin from their mouths so ridiculous2 ,h" are the" all pro rammed to lie all the time2 ,h" shouldn/t - want to find the meanin of this2 ,h" shouldn/t - want to o throu h the pain if it means m" freedom in the end2 The rain curtain dissolved and - heard the sound of a car behind me. stood fro:en as the amai +uietl" walked past me. #-f that is the onl" course of action "ou will take,$ she said in a flatter tone, #then that too is opened to "ou.$ - slowl" turned and saw her holdin the open door of a black limousine. The music from the bar behind me became louder. - could hear friendl" voices shoutin m" name and invitin me into m" captor/s more entle, intended, method@ but the door ahead of me held answers, and - knew

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in m" heart the difficult path was the one - had to follow, even as ever"thin else directed me awa". Even the amai/s perk" voice had become plain and uns"mpathetic. #Now choose.$

#&ersuasion for what2$ 3he hesitated. #(all it research, for which "ou are an involuntar" sub6ect.$ - held out m" hand in mock introduction. #-/m sorr", we still haven/t been properl" introduced. -/m 5randon and "=$ #5randon 3inden 9auphin of >os 0n eles, (alifornia@ born to &aul and

- sat uneasil" in the back of the limo, the onl" compan" bein several monitors set to various cameras and broadcast networks. The door closed and the holo ram vanished. The car started movin . #Fe"K ,here are we=$ The woman appeared in the seat across from me, starin silentl" into me with hard reen e"es, sittin unnaturall" strai ht and ivin off the bod" lan ua e of a statue. #,hat do "ou re+uire2$ #-, uhB$ - blinked and remembered to breathe. #-s aimless wanderin all "ou do, Mister 9auphin2$ #1eah. HhB$ - took another breath and summoned m" ener ", findin an er. #1eahK ,hen - can/t reach m" famil" or friendsK ,hen -/ve been kidnapped and held in 9!K 1eah, - uess soK$ 0 lass of wine appeared in m" hand. #0 /J2 Merlot. Good "ear. &lease tell me what - can do to make up for "our trouble.$ - let the lass fall. #>et me o and ma"be - won/t press char esK$ The woman stared in silence a ain. Irom her sea of apparent indifference, somethin rose up, barel" detectable, hintin at frustration. Thou h the tone of her words remained flat, the pauses between them became shorter. #-/ve tried to follow, fool, uide, intimidate then impress "ou. ,hat other kind of persuasion do - need to ive2$

!achel 9auphin in Nampa, -daho on the date 3eptember 12, 21CD, as the "oun est of two sons and one dau hter. !e istered to move to >os 0n eles (ount" on date 3eptember 1C, 21OO. &resent address. <D000 Fe=$ #Fow did "ou learn so much about me2 -/ve never even seen "ou beforeK$ #That isn/t relevant.$ #1ou were the one who caused those problems, ri ht2 ,ho caused m" 8orea simulation to blow itself up2 ,ho causedB whatever that was at theB at the librar"2$ - was sweatin a ain. The conversationB the ver" presence of this woman was makin me more and more tense. - found - couldn/t read her at all, e'cept for some va ue intuition, e'cept for some va ue notion of an er. 7f hatred. ,ho am - up a ainst2 Fave - done somethin to her2 -s she unstable2 ,h" is she so interested in me2 ,h" won/t she 6ust come out and sa" it2 #1our 8orea pro ram did what it was desi ned to,$ she stated, #thou h - did not understand its appeal.$ #0nd when - ot di::" and almost descended2$ - asked, rememberin someone had accessed m" ascension booth earlier. #,as that "ou, too2$ #The construct suffered a break in consistenc" and "our readin s indicated a medical emer enc". 1ou were not e'periencin one, and "ou are oka" now.$

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#3o after this concern for m" life, "ou threaten to kill me2$ #-n e'chan e for "our cooperation, - will consider lettin "ou live.$ #1ou talk about death so casuall",$ - said. #- have aB$ Iamil"2 Iriends2 IiancGe2 ,hat do - have2 - roaned loudl" to chase awa" the tears, wonderin if - could even make a case to save m" life, or if an"one would listen to it. #- don/t want to die,$ - said powerlessl". #-s it so much of an offense2$ she replied. #9eath is part of life, thousands have died in the moment we/ve been talkin @ thousands more have been born to replace them. 1ou are onl" one life.$ #My life means somethin to me. (ouldn/t "ou have picked someone else2$ #0nd if - had, wouldn/t that person ask the same +uestion2$ #- still don/t know who -/m talkin to,$ - said, less forcefull" than meant to. #0ll that "ou need to know is that -/m not patient.$ 0 new video monitor materiali:ed between us. -t was filled with ima es of action. happ" people doin carried promises of improvin productive thin s, 6o"ful 6in les, optimistic sales pitches, and more of what surrounded me on a dail" basis. 0ll the +ualit" of life. 0ll were carefull" constructed windows into truth and worlds of happiness. #The"/re all lies, aren/t the"2$ she said, with what almost seemed like re ret. #The"/re commercials,$ - replied. #That/s a music videoB That/s a talent showB 7f course it/s all made up, lad"K Ever"one knows thatK$ #1esB &erhaps ever"one does,$ she said, seemin to look for somethin in the ima es. #5ut - have speculated that there is an inspiration within them, some kind of validit". - believe that there are thin s about life

that aren/t captured in media such as this. - want to know of them.$ 3he looked directl" at me. #- want "ou to tell me the meanin of=$ #The meanin of life2$ - su #1es.$ - looked out the window at the ni httime suburban landscape. #This is a 6oke. - think 9"namic !ealit" is ettin to "our head. 9escend and et a self%help book, lad". - can/t help "ou. - won/t help "ou.$ The woman punched a hole into the counter. #-/ve processed those books, the" sa" nothin K$ The cit" outside and the monitors vanished. The electric char e returned to the air and the limo be an to vibrate. The sound of the en ine intensified. ,e were speedin up. #5randon 9auphin, do "ou want to live2$ The woman asked evenl", but with brief pauses between the words. 0 blue li ht, sk" blue, be an filterin in throu h the windows, fillin the cabin. The limo shook violentl" and ravit" pulled harder on m" bod". #0nswer meK$ she said loudl". #9o = "ou = want = to =$ #1esK 1esK - want to liveK$ - shouted, clenchin m" e"es. #&rove it.$ -n a heartbeat, the cabin closed in around me. - opened m" e"es and saw - was in the cockpit of an I%EJ. - hurriedl" felt around m" fli ht suit for m" descender, but it was still missin . 0 silver ob6ect in the sk" cau ht m" e"e. - looked up with onl" an instant to rab the stick and o into a hard dive, cursin as - missed the brakin enem" fi hter b" centimeters. The MiG dove and accelerated to et on m" tail. - continued divin and threw the throttle forward as far as it would o. - bou ht onl" a few seconds, the silver 6et behind me was closin ? fast. 5efore - could react, she fired a round 6ust outside m" canop". - leveled off around 12,000 feet and banked ri ht in a hi h%G turn, knowin - was ested, usin Ethan/s words.

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oin to lose if - didn/t et behind her. Thou h -/d done the move in ames before, the controls weren/t respondin properl", and now the MiG was ri ht up on m" tail, close enou h for m" 6etwash to scorch her nose. - wanted to make her pa" for her fl"in carelessness, but the MiG had alread" fallen back b" the time - had m" plane under control. #>ad", "ou/re a real piece of=$ 0nother warnin shot. - threw the throttle forward a ain. Think, 5randonK ,hat - should do now2 0 3abre should outrun a MiG at low altitude, or the MiG would lose control tr"in to keep upB but what weaknesses can - count on2 - don/t know an"thin about her and she knows ever"thin about meK 0s - anticipated, her 6et was acceleratin 5u more than simulated aerial combat. - applied the speed brakes, to ive her a taste of her own medicine. 3he was fast enou h to weave but ended up at m" two o/clock. -mmediatel" be an a pullin maneuver, turnin m" nose toward hers, and fired ? missed. 0s - passed it on the hori:ontal plane, the MiG shed enou h speed to et on m" four o/clock and attempt the same move a ainst me. (ursin a ain, - spun to bank hard%left before she could et her shot. #(ommandB ob6ect add. 3idewinders.$ Thou h the missiles had come a little later than the 8orean ,ar, it wouldn/t have been the first time - fud ed histor" a little. The control s"stem didn/t respond, not even for a bus" messa e. Even back in m" real bod", - could sense m" pulse racin . 0 ain and a ain, we spun and crossed each other in a scissors pattern, evadin each other 6ust enou h so neither could et a shot. -n a normal fi ht with another ascender, mi ht have shot the MiG down easil", but m" opponents/ slopp" maneuvers back into firin ran e. in %out wasn/t an option. - knew - needed a plan fast or -/d lose a lot

were becomin more raceful, as if she were oin from freshmeat to alpha faster than an"one -/d ever seen. The two of us were barel" maintainin enou h speed to sta" in the air, but she was somehow more successful, creepin behind me meter b" meter, a little more with each pass. Iinall", a sin le bullet nicked m" ri ht win . - felt as if - were in some old ,estern, an outlaw shootin at m" feet "ellin #danceK$ - was e'hausted and out of ideas, onl" read"in m"self for the inevitable. The ne't round went throu h m" cockpit windows. #(ommandB ob6ect local canop". reset.$ The pro ram didn/t restore the windows. - flew level and futilit" picked up a little speed as the MiG ained altitude. - remembered !askob and wondered if he was reall" on m" side, or if he was 6ust another false person the woman was usin to confuse thin s, 6ust a part of the cruel 6oke she was prepared to finish. - dared to look behind me. saw the MiG/s cockpit was empt". Fowever she was controllin it, the MiG dived and opened fire. <Omm rounds tore mercilessl" throu h m" ri ht aileron, the side of m" fusela e, throu h fuel lines and the tail. The en ine stalled and smoke seeped throu h the instrument panel. - be an rollin uncontrollabl". The trees were comin fast. - was crashin . - had never crashed, and - never reall" knew what panic felt like. 3omehow, - forced m"self to move, fumblin for the e6ector seat lever. - don/t want to dieK - need helpK 3omebod" FE>& MEK M" seat slid out from the rollin cockpit. - couldn/t tell which wa" was up and clenched m" e"es shut. 0lmost immediatel", a stron li ht filtered throu h m" e"elids. - could feel the heat of a fireball ahead of me.

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,ith onl" a few scrapes from the landin , - put as much

round

as - supposed most people would under such mortal stress. - could hear them all takin aim, but no one fired. The noises stopped without warnin . - heard onl" m" own breathin . 0m - dead2 - opened m" e"es, slowl". The soldiers were one. 0t the other end of the rifle - found the woman with silver" hair, her unblinkin e"es borin into m" soul, lon in to see me ripped apart. The weapon in her hands trembled, thou h. - saw the one without emotion fi ht herself and conceal the stru 3omehow, it was revealed to me her stru 3he was an r" at me. 0 wave of nausea washed over me. - was tremblin and couldn/t see strai ht. - felt like vomitin . 0nd ever"thin became dark. le was a ainst an er. le.

between me and the crash as - could. 3teep hills surrounded me and there wasn/t much ve etation to use as cover. Ever" minute or so - heard voices in the distance, speakin ancient 8orean or perhaps (hinese. - was still in the fi ht. - knew the woman could/ve 6ust made the enem" soldiers materiali:e around me and been done with it, if not for her idea of lettin me #prove$ m"self. 0 well%weathered barn sat conspicuousl" in a field, surrounded b" a few trees. - fou ht to open the lar e door, the onl" one - saw, enou h for me to slip in. Hsuall" such buildin s held some kind of value to the ame, includin ladders to climb, ha" to hide in, or lar e ob6ects to duck behind@ but, in a simulation tailored for aerial combat, - found a useless structure meant onl" to make the landscape below seem more realistic, or to serve as tar ets for bored pla"ers. The dirt below was perfectl" flat and the roof above lacked crossbeams or supports of an" kind. >i ht peeked in throu h walls pro rammed to look decrepit. The e'terior seemed perfectl" real, but the interior was completel" empt". - closed the door and positioned m"self a ainst the wall. - heard voices a ain and searched for an" weapon - had, findin a M1*11 pistol. - turned the safet" off and readied m"self to shoot at the first thin - saw. The rottin wood of the door ave easil" and two soldiers rushed in holdin shot uns. The instant before the" noticed me, - took aim and fired ? no bullets. More soldiers came and surrounded me, "ellin as if - had an" clue what the" were sa"in ? the ame/s built%in translator wasn/t respondin . The lar est of them hit me with the butt of his rifle. - held m" hands up in surrender and the" 6ust lau hed, the bi one pointin the barrel at m" head, "ellin louder. The look of death was in his e"es and - couldn/t bear it an" more. - was e'hausted and 6ust wanted it to end. - closed m" e"es and pra"ed,

,hat - saw ne't was like no place -/d seen before. - reali:ed - was standin and that m" e"es were open, starin into a black void. - lifted m" head. The pain from the battle was one. There was no sound. -n the distance, a hori:ontal blue line wrapped around me, its faint li ht vibratin in a rapid, mesmeri:in pulse. - lifted m" arm and saw its skin was luminescent. - could see m"self as if - were outside in da"time. 3everal meters in front of me stood the woman, facin to m" left. 3he was holdin her ri ht hand in front of her face, movin its fin ers as if she/d never seen such thin s before. - attempted a step forward. M" foot landed firml" on a surface couldn/t see. - inhaled and tried to clear m" head. The air was ver" thin and m" sense of smell was one. the sweet aura known in 9"namic !ealit" was not there, the blood and sweat theme from the war ame was not there, even the subtle cit" musk of the real world was not there. Ever"thin was 6ustB blank. - sliced m" hand throu h the air and felt no resistance, as if - were in

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outer space. - felt like a fish without water. - knew - never needed air in the simulations, but it was alwa"s included, alwa"s accommodatin the familiar inhale%e'hale c"cle. The complete lack of it felt stran er than - would have ever ima ined. #0re "ou recovered "et2$ - blinked and looked toward the infinitel" distant band of li ht. #,here are we2$ 3he turned to anal":e our surroundin s. Fer an er, what of it -/d been able to perceive, had one. Fer personalit" seemed naQve and mechanical a ain. #- call them ;absences,/$ she said. #The" are addresses which are not in use. The connections and hardware are not abused b" ascenders in constructs, the" have not been written or overwritten onto b" control software. -t isB peaceful.$ #-t/s blank2$ #There is the simulation of #0nd that blue li ht2$ #0 color2$ 3he turned to me. #,ithout active software to obstruct it here, "ou ma" perceive the server/s activit" as some kind of ambience. 5lue, as "ou said.$ There was silence a ain. 3he seemed to concentrate on somethin in the distance, perhaps the same li ht, perhaps a li ht she couldn/t see the same wa" - could. #,ill "ou at least tell me "our name2$ #No.$ 3he held her ri ht hand and looked down at it, wi lin its fin ers a ain. #Then tell me if "ou/re a hacker.$ #- don/t need to tell "ou an"thin .$ #Then how am - supposed to hel) "ou2$
CAFFEINE

Fer hand stopped. - reali:ed the word -/d used surprised her. #Facker,$ she said. #1es. -f it helps "ou, then consider me a ;hacker./$ 3he stared at me a ain, waitin for m" response. Fer a:e made me uncomfortable. - wondered how much she reall" knew, whether her a:e could reall" see all of m" secrets. M" lack of knowled e was more fri htenin than m" lack of control. #,h" shouldn/t - know who "ou are2 1ou know so much about me,$ admitted. #-t/s not fair.$ #>ife doesn/t appear to be fair, so - am not concerned about such thin s.$ #Then wh" me2 -/m a nobod". -/m no one special.$ #1our actions do not support "our claim,$ she replied. #- su modif" "our thinkin or "ou ma" not be useful to me.$ #Hseful how2$ - nearl" whispered. #- told "ou that m" interest is research.$ 3he indicated the space est "ou

ravit", time, and spatial dimension

around us. #This could be an"thin "ou want it to be. - could take "ou an"where in this ;9"namic Hniverse,/ to an" pro ram, an" server. The onl" condition is that - remain in control.$ #That/s it2 1ou want to drive me around like some metrocab holo ram2 ,h"2 3o "ou can shoot me out of the sk" and point rifles at me2 ,hat kind of research are "ou doin , lad"2 0re "ou seein how close "ou can et me to a heart atta=$ 0s m" voice rose, - sensed an er from her a ain. - made the impulsive mistake of allowin it to fuel m" own, and the c"cle +uickl" escalated within her. 0 un, the same M1*11 -/d had earlier, materiali:ed in her hand and she pressed it a ainst m" forehead. - stared cross%e"ed at the weapon and be an to tremble a ain, a stran e feelin spread across m" skin as if - were sweatin ? in m" real bod". 3till her face revealed no emotion. - saw her pull the tri er ? (lick. - let out a loud asp. #No,$ she said. #- don/t want "our fear. -t/s unpleasant and

necessar" to facilitate "our healin @ but, b" "our standards, "es, it/s blank.$

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counterproductive.$ 3he backed awa" a step and let the weapon fall to her side. #1ou/ve raised more +uestions in me than "ou/ve answered, Mister 9auphin.$ - couldn/t take m" e"es off the un. #1ou react so stron l" to the thin approached and handed me the thou h it cannot work.$ 3he ive this un. #-t was not necessar" to

made a connection.$ More silence passed. - took a step toward her. #-f "ou send me home - won/t tell an"one about "ou, - promise.$ #-t is too late for that,$ she replied. #- cannot accept the risk. ,hen have m" answers, - will decide what to do with "ou.$ 0 new round of an er sur ed within me. - fou ht to hold it back, to not become like the ca ed animal - knew - was. #7ka", sure, fineB "ou/re in control, obviousl". >et/s et this out of the wa" alread". ,hat +uestions am so brilliant - can help "ou answer2$ #- will et the answers b" observin "ou. "our behavior in different environments, "our interaction with others. 0s before, some of this will be influenced b" me and much of it will be handled b" the constructs themselves@ but the choice on where to o ne't is "ours. 1ou will choose what - am to observe.$ #I choose2 - choose m" home.$ #The data - have of "our apartment is primaril" blueprints and utilit" records. - cannot simulate the shiftin arran ements of "our possessions=$ #No, No, No, No, No.$ - put m" head in m" hand. This has to be a dream, - thou ht. ThinkB ,hen - first saw her, in the casino, what did she want then2 #1our +uestion at the black6ack table,$ - asked. #,hat was it2$ #,h" is one more desired than two2$ #!i htB Fi h cards and low cards,$ - said, believin Ethan/s answer reall" came from her. #- have found the answer to that +uestion alread", thou h man" others have taken its place.$ #0ndB the answer was2$ 3he turned to face the absence a ain. #The 0ces and Twos are identical in nature. The" are the same si:e. The" are manufactured the same wa". The printin of the reverse, the art pattern, does not chan e. The differences
RYAN GRABOW

environment air. The un re+uires o'" en to dischar e.$ - stared at the un in m" hands. #0s it needed bullets before,$ she added. - threw the un into the blackness and it vanished. #1ou sabota ed the simulationK ,hat was it "ou said2 1ou wanted me to prove - wanted to live2 1ou sabota ed the 3abre/s controlsK$ #The ame was fair. 1ou failed.$ #- what2$ #- was pla"in accordin to the rules of the ame, a ame with which "ou have e'perience. 1et, thou h "ou knew "our e'istence was dependent on winnin , - was still able to defeat "ou. &erhaps the e'istence of=$ 3he hesitated. #-f "ou were at a disadvanta e, it did not come from me.$ #IineK - lostK Then what am - doin here2 3houldn/t - be dead2$ #0 ain "ou contradict "ourself. 1ou said "ou didn/t want to die and "et "ou would seem to welcome it.$ - shook m" head and stared into the blackness below me, tr"in to fi ure out whether the woman wanted to kill me or spare me. #Then let/s not o there,$ - said. #No more uns, please.$ #Then don/t compare me to a metrocab holo ram,$ she said, barel" pausin between the words. ,hat2 - looked at her, knowin she/d meant it as seriousl" as ever"thin else she said@ but then somethin chan ed in her e"es. 3he broke e"e contact as if she were aware. #M" actions are inappropriate,$ she apolo i:ed. #1ou simpl"
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59

between them are imposed b" the rules of various ames. 0 meanin less variation causes the 0ces to ain value over the other cards.$ - nodded, not reall" followin . #Good.$ #1ou reco ni:e that as ood2$ #-t/s 6ust a card ame. 1ou/re not supposed to be proverbial with them. 1ou can/t pla" cards if all the cards have the same value.$ #Aust as the (old ,ar could not be pla"ed if all sides had the same value2$ #,ar wasn/t ? isn/t a ame. -t/s life and death. The (old ,ar was about two competin ideolo ies. communism and capitalism. The" both wanted the whole world to be a certain wa". ,e ? (apitalist 0merica ? won. The whole world has been runnin on free economies for a hundred "ears thanks to us.$ #- noted this conflict in "our ame and e'plored the nature and application of communism. 3ubse+uentl", when "ou weren/t responsive, accessed a pro ram more appropriate to capitalism. Each had severe defects.$ #9efects2$ #1ou are collectivel" flawed as well.$ - stared confused at her. #,hat2$ 3he didn/t move or respond. #0re "ou=$ #5lood,$ she suddenl" said. #- will attempt a description usin "our blood to represent "our mone"B Nations can be considered as or anisms, Mister 9auphin, with the nation/s mone" e+uatin to the or anism/s blood. (ommand economies such as the 3oviet Hnion did not allow their blood to flow naturall", but continuall" tried to pull it in around the heart. >o icall", such an or anism/s rowth would be stunted and its survival, fra ile. Iree economies such as the Hnited 3tates were ideolo icall" different and less centrali:ed, but suffered from similar issues@ thou h one remained healthier, both or anisms would be said to have diseases, even the same disease.$
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#,ellB Ma"be blood can be the number of points. The rich alwa"s win. - don/t knowB Ma"be capitalism is a stupid ame, too.$ #- +uestion the need for mone" alto ether. Thou h, - believe there is more - must know before - can make a valid 6ud ment.$ #Iine. ,e/ll o call up a bank server and have their amai tell us all about no%collateral NF financin K$ #- don/t believe that would be productive.$ #Then what would be productive2$ 3he paused a moment, motionless a ain, as if she were retreatin so far into thou ht she lost contact with her vanitar. #0s - was determinin how - would observe capitalism,$ she said. #noted that another t"pe of s"stem prevailed before the others.$ #7ka". >et/s do that. (all it up or whatever "ou want.$ #The choice is "ours, Mister 9auphin.$ The woman vanished. - looked a ain at the band of li ht in the distance, and wondered where - was. - saw the vibrations of the li ht were beautiful, shiftin in subtle shades between indi o and deep violet. - thou ht of the thousands, perhaps millions of ascenders it represented. Hnder the entrancin effect, - was startled when - heard m" captor/s disembodied voice comin from the void. #Ne't +uestion, Mister 9auphin. ,ill "ou be a ood kin or a wicked one2$ M" vision blurred and - felt the essence of sweet 9! air return. blinked and saw people standin around a lon dinin table. 0t m" side stood a portl", bearded man dressed like a medieval nobleman and carr"in a staff. Fis voice boomed throu h the hall like thunder. #0ll hail 8in 9auphinK$

Cha)ter %ix* The "nemy /ithout

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7
-efore democratic republics and socialist politics, the world was made up of tribes, kingdoms, and empires, where people looked to a single man with absolute power, a ruler for life 5 unless overthrown by others seeking his power. 2ver four hundred years a world made up entirely of kingdoms shed them all. #oday the concept is foreign and barbaric, a relic and culture of another, less perfect time. Aren&t today&s leaders human, too, with their own triumphs and shortcomings* It&s not uncommon for presidents to hand$pick their successors, or for prime ministers to go outside their laws to ensure re$ election. What is the difference between them and the wicked kings* And what of the good kings* #hose who brought genuine peace and prosperity* 'verywhere I see people who are kings over their own (ynamic 6niverse, reigning over the stories of today, en/oying them as modern phenomena while dismissing the cultures that brought them into being, /udging them as fundamentally different without asking why. #he idea of self$serving power hasn&t gone away but adapted, picking up new labels along the way without truly changing. 4eaders are still imperfect, bureaucracy and bad politics still win every election, and problems still don&t become easy to solve. Are we individuals good or wicked in the tiny kingdoms of our own lives* "ow do we treat those below us or influence those above* As we all become kings and +ueens, we all become trapped within the necessary walls. We become weaker and waste more as we control more, until we lose control and lose everything we&ve built.
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-ut what can happen when the trend is reversed and the individual becomes a powerful servant* What power can a society gain when the /udges surrender their masks and count themselves among the accused* Would we find ourselves good or wicked in the end* 3y /udge stayed beneath her mask, but the same forces that scrutini0ed me were scrutini0ing her, breaking through her veil, needing for it to be destroyed also. It was the same force that seeks to bring down all kings and +ueens, snatching away their feeble crowns to give them new power, power that doesn&t need masks.

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7
- sat in a olden throne at the head of the ver" lar e, ver" nice wooden table. >i ht streamed in from windows b" the ceilin and a do:en cr"stal chandeliers. 0t the far end of the room, a musical ensemble pla"ed a variet" of e'otic instruments. &urple curtains lined the room and patterns of old and silver lined the floor. The dinin hall was as much a feast for the e"es as its cuisine was for the stomach. The uests were finel" dressed representatives of other kin doms, kin doms with unfamiliar names - was apparentl" ali ned with in some war. 0ll of them complimented me profusel" on thin s -/d done in m" kin dom, what - con+uered, what - built, how we were oin to win and so on. Thou h the" were all ame characters, - be an to en6o" m"self. -f the archduke%of%whatever talked about somethin - didn/t know, 3ir (larke 5aldwin, the portl" ri ht%hand%man who/d introduced me, would fill in the details of m" con+uests in his ver" complimentar" and enthusiastic tone. saw the hacker sittin on a olden beam b" the ceilin . - waved, wantin her to know - was watchin her too. 3he pulled a hand from her silver" hair and waved back, seemin to imitate me. 7ne of the men, the crown prince of the kin dom borderin mine on the north, approached me. &rince 8enneth was wearin a thin robe of scarlet silk and 6ewels were ever"where on him. Fis heav" robe reminded me of m" own. The fabric was comfortable, but it was hot and heav" and made noise when - movedB ver" flash" but not ver" practical. - couldn/t believe people wore all of it for a livin . #-f it pleases m" kin , 3ir (larke is havin an inner room prepared for our plannin . M" father has man" ur ent instructions we must=$ 0 loud crash cut him off and somethin flew b" m" head. &eople in the
CAFFEINE

room panicked, some duckin under the table for cover. ,ithout thou ht, retrieved m" nicked crown from the floor and put it back on m" head. 0 lar e arrow stuck out of the wall beside me. 7nl" a moment later, the palace uard introduced me to an an r"% lookin man dressed as a ran er. 3ir (larke, whose ever" thou ht +uickl" found words, informed me he was a mercenar" known to work for the ro"al famil" we were warrin a ainst. The crowd. ban+uet% oers, palace staff, and man" distin uished others, cried for blood and ven eance. - thou ht of the creative sentences - could pronounce, knowin the soldiers would carr" out an" of them without +uestion. 5efore makin a pronouncement, thou h, - remembered the one in the room who didn/t fall under m" command. - lau hed aloud, reali:in how cau ht up in the ame had becomeB for 6ust a moment. ,ell, her trick isn/t oin to work. - can see ri ht throu h it. - faced the masses and raised m" arms. The incredible noise fell into silence immediatel". - smiled, knowin the respect - commanded, and turned to m" would%be assassin. The villain held a cold look in his e"es. a mi'ture of his hatred, for me and m" kin dom, and his resi nation that he would soon die b" those ver" hands. #The prisoner shall live,$ - announced. #Take him to the dun eon without harmin him. 0lso, ive him some of the food from the dinin hall.$ Gasps and mumblin spread across the crowd. 3ir (larke whispered to me that the people ma" revolt if - showed weakness and spared one so deservin of death. - raised m" arms a ain. #9on/t be alarmed at m" showin merc". don/t want to be the first to shed blood in this war. ,e/re the ood u"s, after all.$ - smiled and spoke boldl", so m" observer would be sure to hear. #Goodness is somethin all human bein s are su))osed to want.$

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M" uards rushed the confused prisoner awa". - strode confidentl" out of the throne room and the hectic crowd settled.

0 ma6orit" of the people, perhaps, at least on the surfaceB but all2 &erhaps - can order democrac" to be installed, - thou ht. Then we/ll see if an"thin is reall" so unanimous in En or. ,ell, it is a ame. 0nd the"/re ame characters. 0ll those on m" side

#0 wise decision, m" kin K ,h" should the sufferin of one who took such an e re ious action not be prolon ed as he witnesses the downfall of his peopleK$ - looked up from the parchment. #HhB 7h. 1eah.$ ,e were in a secure room with m" kin dom/s most trusted coordinators and allies. The ame/s maps confirmed - wasn/t in an" true historical settin , but the supreme ruler of "ngor, a lar e kin dom controllin the southern portion of a peninsula, as well as several islands. The opposin kin dom, borderin mine to the east, was called Thorn/ick. - noted all of its allies had villainous names, too, like +ament and Ri)dor, while mine included the more neutral%soundin rcadia and Northland. &redictabl", both sides were identicall" matched in land and troops. ,ith no interest in a thinl"% veiled medieval war ame, - 6ust nodded at the proposals and tried to brin the meetin to a +uick end. - wasn/t even en6o"in the compliments bein showered on me an"more@ the" were without basis and wearin ver" thin. 0s soon as the plans seemed developed enou h, - put them into action and dismissed ever"one. -n another room, 3ir (larke respectfull" removed m" robe, praisin ever" hair on m" head. - decided to break into his babble with monarch%ish words of m" own. #&ra" tell, 3ir (larke, most lo"al in all m" kin dom. Fow fare the common folk of En or on this ? the eve of war2$ Fe hun the ro"al robe on the its olden rack. #M" 8in , all the people of En or stand behind their kin . 0ll their hearts are full" committed to their kin dom.$

are full" for me and all those on the other are full" a ainst meB it makes ame pla" so much easier. ,ith barel" a breath, 3ir (larke continued. #,h"B Never since the ods in all their ma6est" fashioned the cosmos have such a people been so=$ #1es, 1esB - et it. ,hat of the econom"2 The standard of livin 2$ #M" 8in , all the old in En or is "oursK 0nd the silver, and the platinum, and the aluminum, and the on"', the sapphires=$ #0ll ri ht, all ri ht. 0rran e a meetin B 9id "ou sa" ;aluminum/2$ #1es, "our hi hness. The finest aluminum from 5aro+ueK$ - roaned. #,h"B Never since the ods in all their ma6est" fashioned the=$ #Bcosmos have - ever been so short on patienceK$ - said. #5rin the overnors of the cities so - can talk to them about ta'es and public worksK 0n" mone" not spent on fi htin 8in has spoken.$ 3ir (larke hesitated, confused. #M" lie e, the hour is late and even the fastest horse would take da"s to cross "our 2ast kin dom. -f it pleases the kin , let him retire for the ni ht and approach these matters tomorrow with a clearer head.$ - turned from m" associate and addressed the room. #,ell, looks like -/m a good kin K - spared the life of an enem" and demonstrated -/m a friend of the people, so let/s call it an e'perimentK ,hat/s ne't2$ There was no response. should o to the peopleK$ - put m" authoritative face on, for an" cra:" hackers that mi ht be watchin . #The

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#,ell, to bed it isB - uess.$ 0fter a short trip down m" wide and elaborate hallwa", 3ir (larke opened the olden double doors to m" sleepin chambers, stoppin suddenl" as he saw a tall and ele ant brunette inside. #Ior ive me, m" +ueen. - did not mean to bar e in,$ the man said, bowin with his hand still on the door handle. #Nuite all ri ht, 3ir (larke,$ the woman replied. #1ou have brou ht me m" kin and that is all that matters.$ The man +uickl" e'cused himself and left me with m"B eerB wife. #HhhhB helloB uh, hone". - don/t seem to remember "ou bein at the ban+uetB but now "ou/re hereB soB$ The woman closed the door behind me and looked me in the e"es ? lustfull". - cursed and bolted across the room, reali:in which kind of construct this amai had come from. 3he chased me pla"full" and rabbed m" arm, throwin me onto the hu e silk sheets of the bed. #3topK$ - shouted, pushin her advancin form off of me. #7h come on, don/t "ou love me, 8in 2$ #- won/t pla" into "our perversionsK -/m in love with anotherK$ #3he/s not here. Aust live in the moment, 5randon,$ the surprisin l" stron and relentless woman said as she lurched after me and we tumbled onto the floor. - decided - would never for ive the hacker, that - would find a wa" out if it was the last thin - did. - clawed m" wa" back into the hallwa" and closed the woman in. #-/m in love with another,$ - repeated throu h labored breaths. #-/m in loveB$ 3he can/t do this to me. No one can. -/ll die before - betra" that trust. -/ll die before - betra" love. - will make it home. - ha2e to. There was silence on the other side of the door. - scanned the hallwa",

tr"in to think, and m" e"e cau ht on one of the olden bucklers, a piece amon all the ceremonial militar" hardware linin m" halls. &ainted on this shield was an ima e of one of mankind/s reatest foes. -t ave me an idea. -f she can bend the rules in 8orea, - can bend them in En or.

The hundred torches in m" throne room were hastil" lit and the smell of their smoke hun heavil" in the room. 9o:ens of m" finest fi htin men assembled in earnest and - had ordered do:ens more to the emer enc" meetin . The room was filled with the clan in sounds of their armament and chatter from those not respectful enou h to be silent before their kin . The hacker stood leanin a ainst a wall, slicin a steel sword idl" throu h the air. None of the ame characters seemed to notice her. The men hushed and parted as - marched into the crowd. #1ou are aware, m" ood woman, that it is not proper for someone to show up in the palace uninvited.$ 3he stopped her maneuvers and held the sword suspended in front of her, watchin the li ht reflectin off the blade. #Not so benevolent, then.$ - lau hed. #5enevolent2$ The men talked in hushed tones amon themselves. Thou h - shouldn/t have cared what the" thou ht, embarrassment distracted me an"wa". - leaned in and spoke lower. #Fow about a little privac", 7 kidnapper of the 8in 2$ The chatter stopped. - saw the same room and the same people ? motionless ? e'cept the flames of the torches, which happil" continued their li ht% ivin dance. #-s this enou h privac" or should - find another absence so "ou can/t see them either2$ #7r perhaps "ou/d prefer a co:" bedroom2$ - nearl" shouted, makin

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no attempt to hide m" sarcasm. #-s this ;offense/2$ she replied, without s"mpath". #1ou/re supposed to know ever"thin about me, ri ht2 9id "ou know about a irl named 4eronica 3ornat2 9id "ou know -/m not someB someB$ (onfusion and pain swallowed the words. M" own thou hts had become incriminatin to me. - shook m" head. #,hat "ou did crossed the lineK$ Fer e"es widened, almost imperceptibl", but enou h for me to know -/d captured some deep interest within her. #Good,$ she said. #- was concerned that - wouldn/t find lines.$ #1ou/re a maniacK$ #- am an anon"mous hacker. (oncern "ourself with doin what "ou have to.$ #- still don/t know what that isK$ #1ou called a meetin to do somethin . 1ou/re the kin , "ou/re in control. - am onl" an observer.$ #0n observer with a sword.$ 3he turned back to the weapon she was handlin . #0 crude weaponB but one that encoura ed talent. Thou h the devices are simpler, - find there is much to e'plore about them.$ #- thou ht we were here to stud" the econom".$ #- find this econom" similar to the others. those who can hoard mone" do, those who are without encounter resistance opportunities to do so at all.$ #0nd now "ou/re 6ust waitin to see what - do ne't,$ - thou ht out loud. #1es.$
- smirked. #Then turn it back on,$ - said, startin back toward m" throne.

#>o"al sub6ects of En or,$ - started, #we have man" trials ahead of us. Thorn,ick is threatenin our wa" of life and we will o off and defeat themK$ The crowd cheered for a moment. - raised m" arms to silence them. #5ut, before we can deal with the enemies outside our borders, we must deal with the threats within.$ The men in the crowd lanced nervousl" at each other, looked toward the hacker. #-t has come to m" attention that there is a dragon in our kin dom who has taken the form of a womanK$ - saw her vanish. - was proud of m"self, believin - had found a wa" to turn the ame a ainst her, to make her the tar et of m" war. - observed the reactions of the crowd, findin a mi'ture of an er and confusion, blood lust and curiosit", each character con6urin a different ima e in their s"nthetic skulls. #The woman is craft" and +uickK$ - continued. #Fer hair shines like silver and on her wrist is a ma ical=$
- indicated m" wrist to the crowd, and reali:ed m" arm was different. M" fin ers looked too thin and the color of m" skin had chan ed. - felt weird and the floor appeared to rise beneath me. 0 shriek ripped throu h the ni ht sk".

- mi ht have made a mistake. Iour torches hun from pillars thick with vines. The throne room was smaller and much darker, and not even a room an"more. - looked up to see a canop" of trees and a full moon. Iallen leaves dotted a stone floor with small cracks visible in it. The round be an to tremble. #&rotect the kin K$ one of the men shouted. #Those scoundrels of Thorn,ick will stop at nothin ? to unleash a dra on on usK$ another said. #Ior famil"K Ior the honor of the kin domK$ The crowd a reed as the" stormed out. #M" kin K 1ou must o to a safe place and cast "our protection spellsK$ the now%elven 3ir (larke insisted.

ettin

it, if there are

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#M" protection what2$ 3ounds of flappin and shoutin intensified in the distance. - saw somethin bi move above the canop". #,e must hurr"K$ - looked back to the much trimmer man ? elf ? whatever. 3ir (larke looked like a fi ure from a paintin , a pale%skinned fi ure with pointed ears. Fis clothin appeared less ornate, d"ed with natural hues, thou h still heav" with 6ewels. 0 pulsin noise ripped throu h the air. The li ht of the flame turned ni ht into da" overhead. More irritated than fri htened, - shouted for 3ir (larke to et me a bow and some arrows. Fe hurried off, and a fin er tapped on m" shoulder. - turned to see the hacker, still human, as tall as - was. 3he put a rolled up parchment in m" hand. #1our ob6ective is to rescue the princess. The dra on is holdin me at this location.$ 3he be an to demateriali:e. #,ait a minuteK - hate this fantas" stuff, what are you onna learn b" makin me dance around in some fair" tale2$ #- was followin "our lead, Mister 9auphin.$ #,ell, let me lead somewhere else, thenK$ #The challen e has barel" started and "ou wish to abort it2$
#,hat do "ou e'pect to learn about the meanin of life from a fair" tale2$

0 +uiver of arrows was pressed into m" torso. 3ir (larke had returned with the bow and ea erl" prepared it for me. The noise stopped. Two of m" fi hters rushed back in. #M" lie e, the dra on has taken &rincess 0etherK$ - looked dumbstruck at the crowd of m"thical elves who were reassemblin in m" throne room, tr"in to absorb what e'actl" happened in the past two minutes. #0ether,$ - repeated, m" a:e fallin to the parchment in m" hand. #-s that what -/m supposed to call "ou2$ #M" lie e,$ 3ir (larke said, #"our kin dom needs "ouK Take "our sword and let us accompan" "ou in rescuin the princessK$ M" attention was directed back to m" throne, and to the broadsword hun above it. #- think it/s the dra on that/ll need rescuin .$

0t first li ht, - led m" band of fi hters and wi:ards down the wooded trail from the cit". More of m" fi hters were archers than before, and leather armor had replaced much of the metallic chain. M" irritation became m" an er. Ever" time - had to look at the map, it seemed harder to pull out and more cumbersome to use. - felt m"self boil over a little. - don/t even know what da" it is an"moreK Ior all - know, -/m missin New 1ear/sK Ior all - knowB 4eronica/s fallen into the arms of another manK 9on/t - even et a chance2 9on/t - even et to think about what I want to do2 - needed somethin to take the ed e offB - needed a &AM fi'. - sent the command, but the server didn/t respond. #3ir (larke, "our assistance please.$

#- e'pect to learn from ever"thin , onl" then can - e'pect to reach the answer accuratel".$ #M"B ahhhhB$ - roaned and e"ed her furiousl", feelin m" an er well up a ain. #-f it helps "ou,$ she said, #complete this mission and - will ive "ou more rest.$

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#M" kin , who is (larke2$ #!i htB 9Unenor, - need "our help.$ #,hat is it2$ 0 chan e in m" ri ht%hand%man/s behavior was becomin more and more pronounced. 3ir (larke, whose name had chan ed with his racial features, was seemin emplo"ee. #(an "ou have one of the wi:ards brin me an ob6ect from another world2$ - asked. #The le end sa"s "ou need onl" the sword to defeat the dra on.$ #1eah, but -/m crashin . - need an 0mber &lus.$ 9Unenor want to the back of the roup. - looked at the shadows on m" pale hands, shadows from branches and leaves above. 0 familiar ache rew deep within me. - lanced at the sunlit canop" and reali:ed -/d never been in a forest, not in the real world. - wondered if the" were reall" so breathtakin . wondered if trees ever reall" rew as lar e as those we were walkin past, seemin even lar er as we/d marched on. The ache ot worse, thou h it didn/t feel like pain. - wasn/t sure how real - wanted the forest to be. 0nd what about the ma ic, - thou ht. Now -/m dealin with wi:ards and dra ons and -/m not even in a human bod"K 5ut, how different is an" of it2 -sn/t 9"namic !ealit" 6ust one bi ma ical realm where fantasies pla" out and thin s that are impossible are normal wa"s ofB - don/t knowB sla"in thin s2 The rules about ma ic 6ust chan e from simulation to simulation. The limits shift around. - shru ed the thou hts awa" and decided - did want to see a real forest, and walk on a real beach a ain. EdhelUr, m" chief wi:ard, needed help fi urin out what an 0mber &lus less like a servant and more like a dis runtled

was. ,e took a break so he could tr" his spell, and a hu e slampak rose from the round, reachin up to m" waist. - kicked the carbon fiber can with m" foot. #3till pla"in amesB - don/t remember bein that much smallerK$ turned to EdhelUr. #3hrinkin spellK NowK$ The wi:ard took out a rod, chanted a couple of words, and tapped the ed e of the slampak. M" 0mber &lus shrunk to normal si:e. - picked it up and activated it. #,hat is the son , some kind of bird%beast2$ the wi:ard asked. #-t/s the nectar of the ods, knock "ourselves outK$ - replied. 0 from do:ens of moment later, the glug glug sound effect was comin

slampaks all over the camp. 0fter drinkin as much as - could, m" can was onl" half%empt". -t was also enlar in . 0nd somethin kept pokin m" skin. The map was also enlar in , tearin the pocket to shreds. The hu e parchment fell out. M" sensitive ears picked up voices throu h the brush, those of two humans. 7ne of m" archers announced a wa on had lost a wheel. The roup chanted #>ootK >ootK$ as the" vanished into the woods. #This isn/t an" time for loot, we have work to doK Gu"sK$ - rabbed the map, outra ed the" would 6ust run off without so much as askin me. - looked sternl" at 9Unenor. #These dela"s are intolerableK Get ;em backK$ Fe 6ust chuckled and ran off with the others, ri ht into a patch of enormous leaves. -t struck me then wh" ever"thin in the forest seemed so hu e. The trees weren/t ettin bi er, we were ettin smaller. ,ithout even meanin to, - cursed and screamed in an er. #Fow am - supposed to fi ht a dra on when -/m the si:e of a pi'ieK$ The ever% rowin 0mber &lus fell from m" hand and, on its side, was risin up to m" torso. The fi hters and wi:ards were returnin with the stolen

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oods and +uarrelin over them. - saw the" were rapidl" becomin more violent, even plottin harm to the humans the"/d stolen from. -nfuriated, - meant to deal with m" rebellious arm". - put the blanket% si:ed folded map on the round and held it with m" foot, so - could pin it with the sword and it wouldn/t blow awa". &ain shot throu h m" arm as - rabbed the hilt, addin even more to m" frustration. - hastil" positioned the blade downward, and saw words appear on it. 5ETTE! 0 &0T-ENT M0N TF0N 0 ,0!!-7!, 0 M0N ,F7 (7NT!7>3 F-3 TEM&E! TF0N 7NE ,F7 T08E3 0 (-T1. 0 stran e sensation overcame me. The pain diminished to a dull ache. #The"/re ettin it from me,$ - said to m"self. - reali:ed m" an er ? toward m" circumstances ? was feedin on itself and it was makin m" troupe less lo"al and more malevolent. - closed m" e"es and tried to rela', to for et. -t/s not like bein upset is onna help me throu h this, an"wa". - opened m" e"es and found the smaller slampak up a ainst m" boot, thou h - still couldn/t have been more than a +uarter of m" ori inal si:e. #Aust let it o. 0ll of it.$
- turned and saw no one. -t didn/t seem as much a voice as an echo of one.

enou h alread"2$ #Get EdhelUr back,$ - said. #,e need the wi:ards to cast an enlar in spell on us.$ #,h" would we need to be lar er2 ,e/ve fou ht vile beasts before 6ust as we are.$ - spread m" arms, indicatin the forest around us. #Fas an"one noticed how tin" we are2$ Fe looked at me, pu::led. #(ompared to what2$ #Aust et them to make us bi er,$ - said, tr"in hard to keep m" cool ? and what si:e - had. #5ut sir, the" can onl" cast an enlar in spell on two of us for three minutes each. ,e should wait until we reach the cave.$ !ules. !ules. !ules. - knew that, in a more la' construct, without the prete't of ma ic spells, - could simpl" send a command to the server to make m" bod" bi er and it would ? without a time limit. #(/mon then,$ - said, m" fin ers impatientl" pinchin the top of m" nose. #>et/s reach the cave alread".$

0ll of what2 3ure, ma"be - was oin a little overboard, but - have ever" ri ht to be upset. #0ll.$ No, - thou ht. - struck a ood balance. Ever"one returned, suddenl" less interested in their mischievous deeds. #1ou didn/t do an"thin to the humans, did "ou2$ - asked 9Unenor as sheathed the sword. Fe lau hed. #0s if humans are worth the effort, aren/t their lives short

,e resumed the march, less or ani:ed than before, and still with much smaller shoe si:es, but ettin b" well enou h. 9Unenor alerted me in his usual, dramatic wa" when we approached the border. #5eholdK Thorn,ickK$ >ike a bad horror movie, the or eous forest of m" kin dom ave out to a wretched land of bare, blackened bark and ashes. The sun even set ri ht on cue, hastil", refusin to shine on the bad part of town. Not surprisin l", the moon was a ain full and a distant wolf was sure to howl at re ular intervals.

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- lau hed. - lau hed a lot. -f an"thin , m" troops were more encoura ed b" the surroundin s to destro" the evil that had abducted their princess, but m" mind took it all as an e'cuse to release tension, to stop takin m"self so seriousl", to do what it had wanted to for a lon time. Ior that moment, - became a little more detached from m"self, and m" problems seemed so small, even ridiculous. 5" the time the mood passed, m" band of elves had re ained their almost%human si:e. Iortunatel", m" elven e"es had no trouble readin the map in the dark forest. -n spite of how far we were comin , thou h, doubt and fear be an to reoccup" the void an er had filled. - knew this fi ht was mine. 0ether admired a sword as a weapon re+uirin reat skill, and now - was the one wieldin the sword. - didn/t know if - could actuall" die doin this, after all. The woman did shoot me out of the sk" and hold a un to m" head. ,ho can - rel" on2 ,hat if -/m not ood enou h2 ,hat if - am killed and she doesn/t care2 - remembered !askob/s promise to protect me, and wondered if he reall" could. - didn/t trul" know who he was either. - have to et back to somethin familiar. That/s the onl" thou ht that can et me throu h this. - observed an openin at the top of a five meter climb, and - reached for m" sword. 9Unenor had told me a fanciful stor" when he was helpin me suit up, about how the" ;knew not/ the sword/s immense power, sa"in onl" one amon the ;9auphin clan/ could wield it, and that - ;needed neither shield nor ma ic/ to protect me. The instant - touched the hilt a ain, some kind of ener " 6umped from it. 0 sensation, different from the pain but somehow familiar, came over me. - drew the sword and studied it. -ts hilt shone of a metal - couldn/t identif" and a (hristian cross was boldl" featured on it. admired the blade/s beautiful amber hue, a sword ivin off its own li ht. -

saw the words had chan ed. M1 G!0(E -3 3HII-(-ENT I7! 17H, I7! M1 &7,E! -3 M09E &E!IE(T -N ,E08NE33. #,atch it sword, -/m not that weak,$ - replied under m" breath. - concentrated on m" surroundin s and felt m" senses ali n with them, to the point where - could see the inside of the cave before - entered it. Hnfortunatel", with the hei htened senses came a lot of useless stuff, too@ li ht%noise and odd patterns which weren/t in the construct itself, and sounds reverberatin and deca"in as - heard them. !ememberin how stubborn an er mi ht et me killed, - did m" best to temper it and trusted the cra:" fantas"% enre sword would do me ood in the end. ,ith bows cocked, swords drawn, and spells at the read", we cautiousl" entered the cave. The li ht from m" sword was enou h for us to see the walls and avoid trippin over an"thin . ,e could hear loud snorin and - hoped the over rown reptile would be an eas" kill. Two torches lit the far end of the chamber and revealed 0ether standin on a hi h led e, hands and feet ti htl" bound in chains. The dra on, a reenish%black mass of scales, la" in the center. ordered the archers into a number of positions and the swordsmen ? rather, swords%elves ? to protect the wi:ards. 0lone, - approached the beast, not darin to make a sound. - looked at its listenin scales, and m" men shared a look of concernB probabl" 6ust ettin e'cited at m" kill, - thou ht. - boldl" held up m" sword and, musterin ever" ounce of stren th - had, 6abbed ri htB intoB itsB The broadsword merel" nicked the ed e of a scale. M" weapon resonated like a tunin fork and its li ht briefl" shifted to blue. 0s +uickl" as -

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could look up, the dra on coiled its serpentine neck and cau ht me in its lowin red e"es@ several arrows bounced off its natural armor and it inhaled loudl". 0n involuntar" #NoK$ escaped m" lips as - held m" sword to protect m" face. - saw a white flash and felt the intense heat of its breath. - flew backward and smacked into the wall of the cave, crumplin onto the floor. was surprised and thankful when - reali:ed that, thou h - felt enormous pain from the impacts, there wasn/t a scratch on me. The 6o" was brief, thou h, because - reali:ed the fi ht would be an"thin but eas". The reptile, five times m" si:e, shrieked horrificall" and e'tended its win s. - heard the archers sa" somethin about the underbell". - ducked behind a boulder. #3orr", it/s m" first dra onK !ek, !ek, !ekK$ ,ith that, another flame erupted around me, charrin the fabric of m" cape and ettin acid on m" armor. - heard the flappin of its lar e win s and took it as a si n m" cover would be short lived. - tried to sort throu h all the noise clutterin m" senses, pushin it awa" so - could use what was comin throu h m" e"es and ears. The beast had ascended to the chamber/s hi h ceilin and - mentall" kicked m"self for not askin the wi:ards for a levitation potion. - knew - couldn/t access the server/s control s"stem to fl"K Fow could - fi ht somethin that can fl" if - can/t2 The dra on dived toward me and fired more of its hot breath. 0 ain, held the sword between me and it and, beside the pressure pinnin me to the stone floor, - was fine@ but - wasn/t prepared for the talons, the secondar" attack left a deep and painful cut on m" le . The beast landed onl" a few meters awa" and bore into me a ain with its lowin e"es. - held the sword up and char ed at its bell"@ but the dra on was faster and knocked me off m" feet with its tail. More of the flame fell on top of me, and the pain was overwhelmin . - couldn/t move, but - was still alive. The sword was doin

somethin , and it was all - had. - decided to use it for all it was worth, and to trust the new senses, even if the" did seem like noise, so - let it all in. The dra on shrieked a ain, the sound reverberatin and deca"in , and it flew a few meters over me. - had a sense of mountin ener ", not 6ust from the dra on, but from ever"thin in the room, includin m"self. -nfinitel" small threads ran between man" points and, as the dra on went to maul and crush me, its bod" seemed to distort and flicker, interactin with different forces in the construct. - saw a kind of ripplin shoot fast throu h the room, - thou ht about what would happen if the matter of m" own bod" interacted with it. 5efore the claws reached me, m" crumpled elven mass lurched to the other side of the room, skiddin to a stop when - let o of the ripplin . -t was ama:in . - saw ripples flowin ever"where, even emanatin from m" sword. -t was so familiar "et so alien to me, all at once. - was 6ust lad - found a wa" to fl". #Ioul li:ardK$ - soared upward. The dra on flapped its win s and came after me. - saw its bod" was also havin an effect on the ripples, but more of a distortion or weakenin than an"thin else. 0nother flame was hurled at me. wasn/t fast enou h to dod e it but did et the sword up in time to shield me. The dra on tried to use its talons a ain, but - saw an impossibl" small crack in its armor, trusted the sword could e'ploit it, and the beast ot a nast" cut in its win instead. The dra on shrieked and smacked into the wall, fallin to the floor. #-t/s not dead "et, Mister 9auphin,$ 0ether said as m" sword made short work of her chains. - was surprised to see she had actuall" dressed for the part, and had assumed an elven form. #1ou/re welcome,$ - said, sarcasticall", onl" to watch her vanish as cut the last bond. #1ou know, a damsel in distress should tr" to be more distressedK$

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- heard win s flappin a ain. The dra on was recoverin . - summoned m" braver" and hei htened m" senses. - was furious and determined to end the battle +uickl". - called upon the reatest source of ener " presented to me. m" an er. The sword rew rapidl" in m" hands, nearl" too heav" for me to hold. #NoK -/m sorr"K - don/t want the an er, take it from meK$ - screamed in desperation, tr"in to push all m" irritation aside before - dropped the sword. saw ener " flicker from me into the weapon, and it returned to normal. 0s if on cue, the dra on shrieked as loud as it could and flew up like a bullet. The cave was filled with a hi h%pitched sound, the walls became distorted, and be an to hover over the solid led e@ but, throu h all the distraction, m" attention remained with the sword. - reali:ed it was the same one -/d seen in the coffee house. !askobK The waterK The senses are like those - had after drinkin the waterK 0ll - would ever need, he said. Ma"be the stuff was still in m" s"stem after all. Ma"be the stuff would save m" life. More ener " occupied the room than seemed possible, from the construct, from m"self, from the dra on, all collidin to form an overwhelmin maelstrom. The more of m"self - put into the sword, thou h, the more it overpowered the noise. - saw the monstrous dinosaur for the slopp" pro ram it was. - saw ever" crack and flaw that stood between me and its e'posed heart. - saw the ripplin current that would brin me there and knew - held the weapon that could penetrate it. - allowed the currents to ali n around me and moved impossibl" fast, shootin like a li htnin bolt into the bod" of m" enem". The beast/s d"in shriek deca"ed so +uickl" it barel" sounded like

an"thin at all. -n the split%second of silence, - heard the sound of sparks whi::in around me. >ike a bomb, the ame/s massive ener " erupted. - saw the bod" of the dra on crumble around me, crumblin into tin" pieces of paper. - reali:ed was fallin from the air and the round was shiftin . The room itself, the entire construct, even m" own elven skin was bein reduced to ? pla"in cardsK The paper floor ave and - fell ri ht throu h, the noise and li ht continued to intensif", - fell faster ever" second, feelin a vacuum of air ? the massive forces of dissipatin ener " ? - couldn/t move ? couldn/t think ? faster still ? throu h whiteness ? throu h%the%speed%of%li ht ? a%cosmic% waterfall%fallin %infinite%distance%infinite%speed%-% asped%for%air= The connection to the server cut off.

Ior a while, it was like a restless ni ht, where the mind rides alon the border between dreamin and consciousness, but won/t o full" into either. wasn/t in an absence. There was no streak of li ht. There was a sound, perhaps m" own pulse. - couldn/t move. - was completel" numb, not from an" in6ur", but because - seemed to have no bod". There was onl" a tin" ener " there, and - discovered - could manipulate it at will. - wondered if - was the ener ". There were supposed to be a million safe uards to prevent 9!% paral"sis, but apparentl" the" hadn/t been turned on. M" nerves responded to somethin and - could feel air around me. 3uddenl", - could see and hear 0ether snappin her fin ers above m" face. #0re "ou alive2$ - tried to move m" fin ers and could. - tried to take a deep breath and could. - tried to move m" head and see where we were, scannin what looked

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like a coffee shopB oin throu h some mental dia nostic mode, takin inventor" like some ancient roundtem bein rebooted. #,hat 6ust happened2$ The elf looked at me curiousl", revealin more than -/d come to e'pect from her. #1ou don/t know, Mister 9auphin2 1ou won.$ 0ether rose to her feet, still in the form of the elven princess, complete with ro"al clothin , paler skin, and much lon er hair, thou h still whitish% silver as before, coverin her sharp pointed ears. - snapped out of it and turned awa", blockin the vision with m" hand. #(an "ou )lease make "ourself less attractive2$ 3he reverted to her earlier human form. - rose to m" feet, nearl" stumblin , and mana ed to et into a chair. #9on/t offer to help or an"thin .$ #Felp2$ she replied, seemin out of focus, distracted. 3tarin from the other chair into empt" space. #,hat happened back there2$ 0 hint of a smile formed on her face. #0 wonderful miscalculation.$ #Miscalculation2$ #- suppose that - ot carried awa",$ she said. #- put too much ener " into the construct. 5" the time "ou killed the dra on, - had tied most of that server/s resources into the simulation. - wasn/t even controllin it so much, and 9i2Tek/s meltdown was e'cellent.$ #Melt%down2 1ou mean when a server=$ #The construct fell apart then took the dependent software with it. 0 perfect domino effect. Thou h - had to stop watchin it to et "ou out of there@ but that/s all ri ht, there will be other servers.$ #7ther servers2 Fow lon is this oin to take2$ #1ou should be proud. 1ou have shown me that m" ori inal approach

was wron , now we can e'plore more efficientl".$ #,hoa=$ #3ince the last simulation did so well, - can base a few more on the dra on%sla"in concept. 3ince dra ons appear in so man" stories=$ #5ut=$ #,e could easil" find a more=$ #0eth=$ #&owerful foe, a dra on that can think and talk, or a shapeshifter, perhaps one=$ #0etherK$ - shouted, slammin a fist on the table. That snapped her out of it. The woman/s focus returned to me, distant and dan erous, as if seein a stran er a ain. #-s that "our name2$ - dared to ask. Fer unblinkin e"es sta"ed locked on mine. #-t is a valid identit".$ There was silence. - watched as her a:e fell awa" a ain, her attention ebbin awa", ettin lost in thou ht. #,hat happened to "ou2 1ou were so frost" before.$ #Irost",$ she repeated. Fer e"es returned to mine, shuttin out the ver" warmth that led me to ask the +uestion. #&lease elaborate.$ - rolled m" e"es sidewa"s in that bod" lan ua e that sa"s ;duh./ #The emotionK -f - didn/t know an" better, -/d almost think "ou were a human bein K$ #That/s impossible,$ she said. #,hat/s impossible2$ Fer e"es darted awa". #Nothin . &lease rela' +uickl" so we can continue.$ - entl" put m" hand on top of hers, which seemed to surprise and make her uncomfortable@ but ever"thin in me said - should o forward, that -

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should break throu h her obvious wall. #>isten, uhhhB - know "ou/re in control here and can make me doB whatever@ but, seein "ou know ever"thin about me@ - think - should at least know wh" -/m on this cra:" rideB wh" "ou care about an" of this.$ #- told "ou, - seek the meanin of life,$ she said cooll", still avoidin e"e contact. #1ou have an odd wa" of doin that.$ #1ou value "our life, - know that now. -f - scared "ou, then apolo i:e. - suppose -/m moreB ea er than -/m supposed to be.$ #&lease 6ust tell me what "ou/re hidin .$ 0ether looked a ain. - saw a trickle of somethin in her e"es, somethin that ran deep, somethin that wasn/t an er. 3he looked awa". #No.$ #ThenB ,here do "ou come from2 ,hat do "ou do for a livin 2 Tell me somethin . 0ether2$ The pauses between her words shortened. #- am not prepared to answer such irrelevant +uestions. - do not need to.$ Iour words came to m" mind, leavin no clue to their ori in. - felt in m" heart that oin forward meant oin throu h the pain. - felt that, perhaps, ever"thin had been as hard on the hacker as it had been on me. - wondered what - should sa". (ountless words screamed into m" mind from all directions, but the same four alwa"s drowned them out. 3omehow, the" made the most sense. 3omehow, - knew the" were the truth. #5ut "ou want to.$ - saw her e"es widen, her surprise unmistakable. #1ou wouldn/t believe me an"wa".$ Guesses be an tricklin into m" mind. - pushed them awa" and sta"ed focused. #Tr" me,$ - said. #>isten, - don/t care what computer crimes "ou/ve

done. - don/t even care about this one. -f it/s somethin bad, 0ether, -/ll help "ou throu h it. &lease, 6ust help me help "ou.$ - said too much, - reali:ed. -/d let the words pour from m" heart without consideration of what the" would commit me to. 0ether slid her hand out from under mine. #1ou had speculated that - was a hacker, butB$ 3he alread" knew the words, but the" were difficult to speak, to send out to another where the" could never be taken back, to reveal truths that could never be concealed a ain. #5ut there is no hacker,$ she finall" said. #M" actions are m" own.$ #,hat2$ - merel" breathed the word, tr"in hard to follow her but not understandin ri ht awa". #- am 0ether, destro"er of !oTek.$ The words seemed to come a little easier. The confident woman brou ht herself to look strai ht at me a ain. - saw more of the depth in her e"es, a sense of her perception that seemed so alien "et enuine to me, a perception readil" observin m" reactions, ever tr"in to find the patterns in that stran e thin - called humanit". #1ou would call me a class 0< malvirai.$

Cha)ter %e2en* The Monster in the Room

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8
3alevolent 7iral Artificial Intelligence. #hey are the bane of those who maintain servers and networks. #hey are a top target for sentrai programs and diagnostic tools. #hey are one of the things 8)afe Ascender9 programs are designed to warn us about. In the dynamic world of information, simulations, and commerce, they are the destroyers. #hey have e!isted since the early internet era, as small viruses hiding in the ground terminals of the day1 programs written by hackers, designed only to harm. As the technology advanced, so did they. As information networks became more central to human e!istence, their destructive power increased. In the :;<;s, "NA(= technology gave us real artificial intelligence for the first time. -efore the programs were even called amai, they had replaced millions of personnel. (ecades before holographic technology and (ynamic Reality could make them seem as real as the human beings they were designed to act like, our grandparents already couldn&t imagine life without the technological marvel. #hen, one of the programs started robbing banks, cutting through the toughest encryptions and adapting to each target like no virus before. #he security of the day wasn&t designed to counter the new form of artificial intelligence, the first malvirai. It only took one greedy programmer to steal the innocence away.
CAFFEINE

#hey have always been a reality in (R, always lurking in the shadows outside of ascender$friendly constructs, fortunately uninterested in the humans they could easily encounter1 but, every few months, as part of some elaborate murder plot or by pure chance, someone comatose gets pulled out of an ascension booth. In the history of (ynamic Reality, hundreds of people simply found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. >eople /ust like me.

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8
Malvirai. The word seemed otherworldl" to me. - could understand bein in the clutches of a hacker, a human bein - could relate to on some level, who had wants and needs to appeal to, whose attention lapsed and made mistakes, who at least felt some kind of emotion. #Fow do "ou feel2$ 0ether asked, still anal":in me. - couldn/t look awa" from her dark reen e"es, wonderin if the person behind them could reall" not be a person at all, but artificial intelli ence. Ever"thin in me said she was completel" serious. &enetratin ever" thou ht was the notion this 0- reall" could kill me, that there were no forces within or without to save me from her pro rammin . #- ? - don/t know,$ - replied, honestl". #This was a mistake,$ she said, breakin cooperate now.$ #5utB "ou/re a woman. 1ou/re sittin ri ht there. 1ou don/t seem artificial at all.$ #- am not a human. - am an ob6ect capable of appearin as one.$ #0n ob6ect2$ - replied. #1ou mean "ou/re 6ust someB some pro ram2$ 0 streak of an er pulsed throu h her, but she allowed it to pass. 0-s can/t feel an er, can the"2 (an she reall"=
#M" appearance is for "our benefit, Mister 9auphin. 1ou are an ascender pro6ected here b" a device that feeds "ou specific t"pes of data. primaril" visual, aural, and tactile. This room e'ists onl" as data, rendered b" the server and converted b" "our booth so that "ou can perceive it. The woman "ou see is a vanitar -/ve used to interact with "ou in the wa" "ou are accustomed.$
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#5utB don/t "ou need a brain toB wellB do that2$ #0ll alpha%class malvirai are capable of interfacin #5utB wh" do "ou have to look so human2$ #,h" must an" artificial intelli ence developed to interact with "our kind be made to look so2$ M" head fell into m" hands. - didn/t respond. #1ou are flawed.$ - looked up. #,hat2 ,hat did "ou sa"2$ #0s it was with "our economic s"stems, all human creation appears to suffer from disease,$ she said. #- noted in the amai - have utili:ed that man" compromises have been made a ainst their efficienc". The" are capable of lo ical thou ht processes, but those are overridden b" randomi:in functions meant to make them pleasantl" irrational. ,h" should "ou desire to restrain the power of what "ou have developed2$ #-t was "ouB that virusB what caused the holo rams to act so weirdB you were the virus.$ #-t is m" proper function to manipulate, modif", and destro" such entities. 5ecause - did not wish to interact with "ou directl", - used them as filters that would not be intimidatin to "ou.$ #Not intimidatin 2 ,ellB ,ellB ,hat did "ou think would happen when ever"thin went fl"in around at the librar", orB or when "ou shot me out of the sk"2$ #1et "ou chose to interact with me directl". - did not anticipate that.$ #5ecause there/s no point to the illusionK$ - cau ht m"self becomin an r" without bein sure wh". - took a few slow breaths, and felt her put her hand on mine, in the same calmin fashion - had hers. #1ou can/t be fake,$ said, lookin at her hand. #1ou act too real. This is all too real.$ with three% dimensional constructs nativel", it is wh" vanitars are built into us.$

e"e contact. #1ou won/t

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#3uch is the oal of 9"namic !ealit", Mister 9auphin, thou h none of it is real. No such creature controls the vanitar "ou see, and the e'perience of it is uncomfortable for me. 1ou are accustomed to the use of hands and feet, for instance.$ 3he raised her hands and be an repeatedl" clenchin them into fists. #-f "ou want to move "our fin ers, the motion is natural to "ou. The nerve impulses are converted into what "our vanitar will respond to, and "our brain receives feedback from it. 1ou feel "ourself move. 1ou see "ourself move. - do not have fin ers for the stimuli to be mapped onto. - perceive onl" the data.$ #,hat do "ou reall" look like, then2$ - asked, m" chaotic thou hts settlin to fascination. 0ether put her hands back on the table. #- will not allow m" curiosit" or "ours to 6eopardi:e m" oal. - must suppress such emotions until - properl" understand them, or the" will dela" m" stud" of humanit". 0lread", "ou cannot relate to me an"more because "ou know m" nature.$ #No.$ The words cau ht up with me, and - brou ht m"self out of m" trance. #1ou don/t understand.$ 3he didn/t respond. #Emotions are an important part of bein human, 0ether. -f "ou let them in, the"/ll help "ou understand.$ #Mister 9auphin, if - am displa"in emotions as "ou su est, then must understand them before - use them. - attempted to absorb the emotional subroutines of several amai prior to our encounter, but could not implement them properl" and so deleted them. M" understandin of m" own code does not su est that emotion is possible.$ #Ma"be ? what if there/s another malvirai who knows2$ 3he looked awa". #The others of m" kind were not interested in such studies. - could not convince them to help me.$

#Then, ma"beB ,hat if "ou/re evolvin 2$ #Evolution is a ver" slow biolo ical process. - do not have cells or 9N0 to evolve, and such a thin does not happen in a sin le eneration.$ #9oes "our mother, wait ? 9o "ou have a mother2$ 0ether put her wall back up. #3top. M" race, if it can be called that, is irrelevant. - have noted that "ou en6o" a bevera e called 0mber &lus.$ 0 cold slampak materiali:ed on the table in front of me. #To use a human e'pression, it is ;on me./$ - barel" even saw the slampak. The usual temptation of a simulated &AM rush had been drowned out b" the unusual and real fact that a malvirai, a walkin %talkin force of mindless devastation, was offerin me a ift. - didn/t think such a thin would even be in their pro rammin . #Make it water.$ #,ater2$ she repeated. #1eahB 6ust plain water.$
-nstantl", the 0mber &lus became a transparent slampak of water. #- do not understand,$ 0ether said. #1ou are intentionall" tr"in to contradict m" data.$

- tentativel" picked up the lass and sipped from it, rememberin the water !askob offered to me. There was nothin thou h. - put it back on the counter. #3ometimes data chan es,$ - said with re ret. #-t is a blank medium.$ - smiled, reali:in what she meant. #-t is peaceful.$ #,ater is amon the most valuable elements in "our world, a ke" in redient in ever"thin that lives and moves@ even F"brid Neural 0lphadecimal 9i ital (onstruct servers rel" on it as a coolin a ent and second%sta e conductor. 1our own bod" re+uires it. 0ll humans re+uire it. Even - re+uire it in a wa". This data does not chan e.$ in the slampak for me,

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#No. - uess not.$ #5ut "ou in est it throu h the mouth. ;Eatin / and ;drinkin / are ver" stran e wa"s to subsist. - first thou ht it was the purpose of humans ascendin , but this was not true. - still do not understand wh" "ou eat here.$ - smiled self%consciousl". #Fonestl", - don/t think - understand it, either.$ 0ether slammed her fists on the table. #-s there an"thin for me to understand or am - wastin time2$ Fer tone of voice confused me@ it still seemed monotone, but it wasn/t. The pacin of her words, rather, seemed more indicative of what la" beneath her mask. - couldn/t help but think that, if she were human, tears would/ve been streamin down her face. #There it is a ainK The emotionK$ 0 clear look of alarm appeared on her face. 3he didn/t move. #- must process these thin s. - will return.$ #0ether, waitK$ 3he/d alread" vanished. 0lone, - closed m" e"es and focused on the sound of m" own breathin . - tried to shake the feelin of bein cut%off in a stran e place. buried m" head in m" hands and knew - was failin a ain. - thou ht of !askob and the help he/d offered, wonderin who he was and whether he could hear me, thou h - didn/t speak the plea. - stood up and e'amined the place, e'plorin the clean counters, stools, tables, and chairs, hearin the e+uipment hummin awa". - remembered the shop !askob brou ht me into, how lar e and full of life it had been, how real it had seemed even thou h - knew it didn/t ph"sicall" e'ist. The 6ukebo' was softl" pla"in the sounds of acoustic uitar. - turned it off and noticed the simulated urban scene, 6ust outside the window,

conve"ed no sound. - ima ined the coffee shop as a atherin place, with ascenders of all kinds sittin at the tables discussin their ne't adventureB revelin in the freedom to come and o as the" please, eatin and drinkin with friends who were reall" on the other side of the lobe, or even on Mars, merel" for the pleasure of it all. - wondered wh" 0ether had chosen that place, or if it had been a choice at all, escapin the server meltdown and all. 0 part of me felt sorr" for the malvirai. 3he was so confused, tr"in to simulate a world she knew nothin about, perhaps one she could never trul" know, and spurred on b" forces she didn/t understand an" better. #Fow do "ou feel2$ asked a voice behind the counter. #- don/t know.$ 0ether walked beside the counter, runnin a hand alon its surface. #Then perhaps we are both lost.$ #-/m sorr", - don/t have all the answers. ,e 6ust live and we die, there doesn/t have to be an" meanin to it.$ #- can/t accept that,$ she said, lookin directl" at me. #1ou can kill me ri ht now, hack into the records so it looks like never even e'isted. M" apartment will o to someone else, m" possessions will be rec"cledB ever"one - know will die sooner or laterB and what meanin will m" life have had2$ #1ou see me as the brin er of "our doom, "et that role is amon m" foremost conflicts.$ #(onflicts2$ #- have decided to be honest with "ou, Mister 9auphin, if "ou believe "ou can accept difficult thin s.$ #1ou didn/t want to tell me "ou were a malvirai,$ - thou ht out loud. #-/m still not sure - believe that.$ 3he didn/t respond.

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#5ut - think - do.$ #1ou don/t full" know what that means,$ she replied. #Malvirai onl" destro", all the time. There is no comprehension of beaut". No meanin is necessar" at all. Hnderstand that there is a substantial part of me that wants to kill "ou ri ht now and destro" this entire server.$ 3he paused, pushin the thou ht awa". #That part of me is lo icalB comfortable@ but there is another part that m" pro rammin does not address, a part that does not wish to destro" at all, that even desires "our safe return to the cit" >os 0n eles.$ 3he lifted her hands, indicatin the room around us and the space be"ond. #(onsider this an opportunit", Mister 9auphin. - can take "ou wherever "ou wish in this electronic world. The encr"ptions, securit", and la %time desi ned to deter normal ascenders are meanin less to "ou now. The onl" condition is that - remain in control, that - be an observer. Hnderstand that, if "ou don/t help me define this benevolence within me, then - cannot be certain it will protect "ou from the destro"er - was and am.$ #3o, "ou don/t want to be bad2 -s that what "ou/re sa"in 2$ #- am sa"in that - am ambivalent now. - wish to choose the temperament that - determine to be best.$ - sat in a nearb" chair, still facin her, considerin her. #0ll ri ht, -/ll help "ou willin l",$ - said, #but - need "ou to understand we can/t 6ust vanish for weeks on end without conse+uences, or sta" ascended forever. - have bills to pa", monthl" paperwork to file=$ #- am aware of those limitations,$ she said. #-f - encoura e "our actions onl" b" threatenin to deprive "ou of somethin , then - am bein evil. -f the e'periment is for me to be less evil, then the compensation should be for me to add somethin that is useful to "ou.$ 0ether closed her e"es, almost fast enou h to mistake for blinkin . #have deposited three hundred million dollars into "our bank account, now

"our services are paid for.$ - nearl" fell out of the chair. #That/s fort" "ears salar"K$ #1ou/re welcome.$ &ossibilities raced throu h m" head, and it took a ood deal of will power to remind m"self she wasn/t some ma ical enie. Fowever she ot the mone" in there, it would have to o back. - stood up and be an pacin , pushin awa" thou hts of cars and mansions, hopin some deeper inspiration would take hold instead. 0ether asked what - was doin . #0 trick called role reversal. -f - were a malvirai lookin at humanit", where would - start2$ #0n interestin thou ht process,$ she replied. #-nform me when "ou have chosen a destination.$ #That/s 6ust itB - don/t know how you approached the problem. -f "ou could ive me some idea ? could show me how "ou started ? ma"be - can help "ou better.$ #- am an observer. - am not relevant. This is about "ou, Mister 9auphin. This is about "our world.$ #,hich "ou/re tr"in to understand like a human would, but ma"be "ou should tr" to understand it like a malvirai would.$ #- told "ou that malvirai do not seek to understand the world.$ #Then don/t be either human or malviraiB 6ust be "ourself. Iollow "our heart.$ #-f "ou/re referrin to m" core pro rammin , that is what wants to kill "ou,$ she replied, her words closer to ether, seemin frustrated. #No,$ - said disarmin l". #1our heartB that benevolence "ou mentioned. 0ether, - need "ou to trust me. Ma"beB Ma"be then - can help "ou.$ Ior several seconds she didn/t move. - onl" saw the flickers of alien

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emotion in her e"es, and - honestl" wondered whether m" own seemed as bi:arre to her. - cau ht a smirk, no doubt involuntar", cross her lips. - knew the answer before the words came. #-/ll show "ou ever"thin .$

difficult to e'plain, e'cept to sa" that m" pro rammin was still controllin m" will. - am certain that b" this point - had achieved what humans call ;sapience,/ or ;self%awareness./ The conflict coincided with an event - had witnessed, one - now reali:e was ;beautiful./ M" lo ic had immediatel" become divided. - found the presence of ascenders and the e'istence of the construct ? the e'istence of an"thin ? abhorrent, "et the action of destro"in

- was in a leather chair surrounded b" control panels. The small room was accented with a series of colored li hts, primaril" one that shimmered between the black marble floor and the monitor space, desi ned to look like a waterfall flowin up, castin ever"thin into a dim blue aura. The chair was comfortable, but all the ke"pads, wand fields, and other controls made me feel a little claustrophobic. #-s this a viewin room or a space shuttle2 - don/t know how=$ 0ether/s disembodied voice pro6ected loudl" throu h the room. #This is a central access point on a server called :osek, desi ned for ascended personnel to carr" out maintenance tasks from within the server. Given our method of interaction, this construct is an ideal location for me to access information covertl" and share it with "ou@ the dela"s will be minimal, and don/t have to carr" "ou across thousands of servers.$ - sank a little in the chair. Thousands2 #0s for the controls, "ou will not need them,$ she added. The monitors be an to displa", as lines of plain te't, the connection status of one server after another, as if m" room would be the center of a web reachin to the far corners of 9"namic !ealit". 0ether meanwhile be an tellin me her stor". #The first of m" internal conflicts arose as - was to kill man" of "our kind, the motivations and thou ht processes that led me to that point would be

it also was abhorrent. - initiall" concluded that it was an act of self% preservation, because - knew that - would m"self be destro"ed in carr"in out m" pro rammin , but this led to another internal conflict, because self% preservation is not supposed to be amon m" functions. #0s - resolved conflicts, man" more arose, and - had ceased to destro" an"thin .$ The monitors lit up with enc"clopedia articles, research papers, tech 6ournals, public messa e boards, and countless other sources, all information on malvirai. #,hen one of m" own re eneration subroutines failed to e'ecute, - became aware that lar e portions of m" code had become unreadable. - e'perienced what - now know ma" have been ;fear,/ at the prospect of m" own irresolvable dama e and at m" lack of knowled e about somethin so pertinent.$ The contents of the screen shifted and words became hi hli hted. #be an to ather all the information - could find pertainin to m"self, determinin that - was of a kind called ;malvirai./ Most of what - found was commentar", useless to me at the time, about all the dama e the" do to various data infrastructures, about their classifications, about laws and prosecutions of the humans that create them. - had not considered how - came into bein and be an seekin that information, which led me to covert servers where hackers desi n us. M" conflicts continued to row in number. concluded that the humans there were the onl" ones that could help me, but emotions - did not understand caused me to hesitate and tr" to flee. This action resulted in m" first encounter with another malvirai.

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#Fe identified himself as 5aal, a class 52. M" instincts, as "ou ma" think of them, sur ed back and - intensel" wanted to destro" him. - resisted the ur es, wishin for his help, but he did not resist and - was ultimatel" forced to carr" out m" pro ram. - reali:ed that - was not actin as - should, that there was no precedent for peaceful contact amon us, and that - should not have desired it. - considered eneratin a new malvirai from m" own code, because that malvirai would not fi ht=$ 3he stopped for a second. #chose a ainst the action. #Not wishin to invite m" own destruction, - abandoned m" attempts to recruit help and be an fulfillin a desire to e'plore the environment occupied, addin reatl" to m" knowled e about the FN09( technolo " that sustained me. - +uickl" concluded that it was all built for the benefit of aliens ? the billions of ascenders that travel between the world - knew and their home worlds. Earth, >una, and Mars. - then set m" studies on the ascender% humans, but found them confusin and nonsensical. -t was at this point that learned of ;sapience/ and concluded that - possessed it.$ The content of the monitors chan ed to show published information on the possible sapience, self%awareness, of amai. Most were poorl" desi ned and misspelled presentations, contrasted with several official%lookin data sources marked as confidential. #The sites that were eas" to find and access contained little on where to find them, man" e'isted simpl" to confuse or den" what was obviousl" true from m" perspective. 0fter man" seconds of anal"sis, - looked to what was hidden and found a database run b" the Hnited European -ntelli ence Ministr" containin detailed anal"sis of ;captured/ amai and even malvirai. 0s - intended to access the e+uipment and e'plore the data for m"self, m" self%preservation stubbornl" refused. Thou h - could not define the inclination with lo ic, - could not i nore it. Ever"thin within me said to sta" awa".

#The event proved too rare. M" attempts to find other sapient 0-s ;in the wild/ had been fruitless. Thou h - devoted more than ten minutes to the task uninterrupted, the probabilit" of the tar et event occurrin and of m" discoverin in time were infinitesimal. 0t this, m" thou hts repeatedl" fell back to the humans.$ 0 ain, the monitors chan ed. The sources became much more diverse, from the public to the personal, even the intimate. Mi'ed in were the commercials and music videos, as before in the limo, the thin s the media broadcasts to the man". #Ever"thin - knew was the creation of human bein s. - resolved to learn about people as - had about the various artificial intelli ence. Thou h ultimatel" rasped the concepts that define "our ph"sical world, such as three% dimensional space, time, and the numerous chemical reactions that make "ou and "our natural environment possible, the concept of emotion remained ambi uous. The more - anal":ed "ou, the more convinced - became that humanit" was the ke" to solvin m" stubborn problem. M" obsession over this ap in knowled e became so stron that - was able to make a iant leap.$ The voice suddenl" came from m" ri ht side. - turned and saw 0ether starin across the room, toward the monitors. #The avera e lifespan of a malvirai in the wild, the len th of its e'pected e'istence, is D.2 seconds.$ 3he paused and turned to face me. #0s - considered stud"in a human directl", perhaps "ou can ima ine m" surprise as - noticed that DJ hours, 1< minutes, and <E seconds had passed since - had been enerated.$ #That must have been an eternit" for "ou,$ - replied. 0ether looked back to the wall and intentl" passed her hand throu h the pro6ected monitors. #Thou h - was able to use m" natural vanitar to enter into and interact with an" construct, it was ver" simplistic. - au mented it ? her ? considerabl".$ 3he turned back to a:e at the room. #,hen - allow m"

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consciousness to slip into it, m" perception of time chan es accordin l". 3ince "our 8orea simulation, - attempted to spend as much time as - could in this form, to perhaps understand m" sub6ect better.$ 3he looked at me. #0 de ree of role reversal, as "ou put it.$ 3he was silent. -t was m" move a ain. Fow could one so different, with such dark peers, hope to understand the love, 6o", and communit" that defined humanit", that made life so wonderful2 ,hat can - show her that she mi ht understand2 3he seems to want what - can/t offer. 0mon the ima es, a street camera cau ht m" e"e. - saw people in the real world, 6ust oin about their lives, happil", frustrated, 6o"ful, resi ned@ probabl" livin the same lives the" had the da" before, and plannin more of the same. ,e never know what tomorrow will brin . #Thank "ou,$ she said. #,hat for2$ #-teratin over m" histor" was "our idea. 3omehow sharin it with "ou has made me feel better. >ess alone, perhaps.$ #There is so much beaut" in the world. - don/t know how - could possibl" show it to "ou.$ #5ut "ou understand it, Mister 9auphin@ and - believe that "ou have alread" brou ht me closer to m" oal.$ - looked at her. #M" friends call me 5randon.$ 3he was silent. ,hat - had offered was somethin she had no account for, somethin she probabl" never dreamed of receivin , somethin she perhaps didn/t reall" know the meanin of. #1es, 5randon,$ she replied, #accept "our friendship.$ - was aware of the incredible amount of data around me, the musin s

of a computer virus spendin hour after hour on a mission, and wondered how someone like me could even be in to hope to sort throu h all of it, to find what within it had value. 0ll the research -/d ever done in m" life, even on hobbies and stuff that/s interestin , would/ve onl" been a tin" fraction ofB ,aitB -nterests are uided b" emotion, aren/t the"2 Ma"be sortin throu h this won/t be so hard, - thou ht. 0ether could do that for me, in the blink of an e"e. 0ll she wants from me is uidance. 3he wants a direction to o.
#FowB intentl" did "ou look at this2$ - asked. #0t an" particular thin 2$

#0s intentl" as was necessar" to determine its usefulness.$ #5utB$ - tried to think of the ri ht words. #,ere there some thin s "ou were drawn to look at more than others2 ,ere there thin s "ou favored, even if ? especiall" if ? "ou didn/t know wh"2$ #1ou/re referrin to bias. - am not sub6ect=$ 3he stopped. The pauses between her words shortened then, tellin me - was sparkin more of her interest, ivin her a place to throw her ener ". #- will attempt to build an appropriate al orithm.$ Thou h her motionless vanitar was still there, - sensed she had left. 0 couple of seconds later, the 6umble of information became more or ani:ed and focused on specific topics. humanit", philosoph", studies of malvirai, all sub6ects - mi ht have uessed on@ but a few topics stuck out and led me to think m" hunch was ri ht, such as spatial e'ploration. - was also surprised to find a lot of random fictional works. #,hat%now2$ 0ether asked, her vanitar restored to life, the two words practicall" comin out as one. #-t/s still too much, what if "ou connected them b" topic2 3ome of these thin s overlap, like the"/ll be about both space and human emotion.$ The items on the screen shifted a ain, and lines became visible

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between them. The overlaps became easier to navi ate and, finall", - saw one thin 0ether had e'plored fre+uentl", that connected to most of the ke" topicsB a construct. #3how me that,$ - said, pointin to the link ravitatin to the center. 0ether hesitated. #That contains little useful data. -t is a work of fiction.$ #5ut "ou e'amined it ei ht"%si' times. ,h"2$ The monitors be an to clear around us and the web we were at the center of dissipated, focusin on the distant server where our ne't destination la". #0 bias enerated b" emotion, m" friend. Thou h - did not anticipate this, - believe - understand and a ree with "our choice to participate in this construct.$ Fer voice became distant and - spun m" head 6ust in time to see her vanitar disappear. #0ether, waitK$ - took her remateriali:ed hand in mine and looked her strai ht in the e"e, in which an obvious fire was rowin , overcomin the wall she/d had since her be innin . - felt the warmth of her hand and, simulation that it was, knew there was more than 6ust computer code runnin a vanitar. - saw the "ellow brick road -/d found m"self on was ettin more bi:arre at ever" turn. 0m - reall" onna e'plore life/s meanin with somethin - didn/t believe e'isted before toda"2 #0ether, - want "ou to promise me one thin .$ #0 uarantee of freedom2$ #No, - trust "ou/ll allow that eventuall",$ - replied, tr"in hard to decode the new intensit" comin from her, to map%out the weak and unusual currents of her emotion, the benevolence that shouldn/t even have been there. #The promise concerns "our role in these simulations.$

#-f - would interfere, then - will observe more covertl".$ #No. 1our pro ress is bein made (ecause of "our interference.$ 3he didn/t respond. #9on/t be an observer,$ - said. #5e a participant.$

- saw the stars, dressed in a flowin

reen luminescence. - thou ht -

was in some kind of paral"sis a ain, but the sweet smell of perfume and the lovel" piano music put me in the settin of a ballroom, filled with powerful people and the ones who serve them. The lar e place was divided into two levels, the one above visible throu h an openin in the center of the room@ there was a brilliant marble froth there, its foam" water shimmerin in amber li ht. (arved around the fountain/s base were reliefs of the sun, planets, and man" constellations. M" feet were on solid carpet, thou h - didn/t reco ni:e the shoes. was in a uniform. M" 3N9> alerted me that it finished s"nchroni:in with the construct. - had the character identit" of >ieutenant Nunell Maddock, third in command of The Intergalactic, the lu'urious fla ship of ;rofit Cruiselines. Ior the first time since 8impo, it seemed - could interact with the control s"stem normall". - decided to et some information on where - was. AE,E> 7I FE04EN. A7H!NE1 <1 #0 world of m"ster" and romance awaits "ou on board The Intergalactic, the hottest new series b" -IT Media where you alwa"s uide the actionK E'perience one of <C fabulous 6ourne"s into outer space and pla" a role in the suspense and emotion of societies wealthiest and most fascinatin people@ live and dream like a celebrit" or even captain the ship. hundreds of =$

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0 sapp" interabra2 - hate interabras. 0 pair of arms suddenl" reached over m" shoulders, hands meetin on m" chest. 3tartled, - spun around and saw a tall woman with curl" blonde hair and a white dress, wearin enou h 6ewelr" to blind an"one lookin in her direction. #9on/t look so surprised, Nunell. 0s if -/d let "ou out of m" si ht before "ou could consider m" offer2$ ,ithout patience or re ard for manners, - lifted the sleeve on her ri ht arm. No descender. The woman tu Gan"mede2$ 0ether could have been an"bod" in that room, - didn/t even know if looked the same or not. - looked back toward the window. Hnlike normal lass or transluce', its material not onl" distorted the view of the stars but suppressed our reflections. 0n announcement chime came over the sound bars. #,elcome aboard the -nter alactic. - am captain Lak !o"lance and - invite "ou to settle in as we clear the dock and proceed on our vo"a e around Neptune, the most fabulous 6ewel in the heavens. -f "ou have an" re+uests, please do not hesitate to ask the staff. Thank "ou a ain for fl"in in ;rofit +uxury.$ 3everal in the room applauded politel". - turned to the woman, whose name was identified b" m" 3N9> as 0nikaa Trumpp, and broke out of her latest embrace. #1eah, about that offerB can we talk later2 - kinda need to find someone.$ The words had barel" left m" mouth when she slapped me hard across the face. #9on/t waste m" timeK$ 7bviousl" pro rammed to be the 6ealous t"pe, she steamed awa". - rubbed m" bruised cheek. #0nd that/s wh" - hate interabrasB$ ed awa" and held out the diamond bracelet that was there instead. #3urel" "ou haven/t for otten our ni ht on

There would be a lot of these flirt", illusor" romances, - thou ht. The"/re all over 9!, the normal thin for ascenders to do, the reason man" come in the first place. - remembered how offended - was durin the medieval simulation, when 0ether planted an amai to motivate me with se'. 5ut how can - blame the malvirai2 ,hen 4eronica wasB No, - thou ht. - can/t deal with this now. Two of the stories/ characters were bein controlled b" ascenders. >ieutenant Nunell Maddock and one simpl" called ;0uon,/ whose location was three decks above me. - made for the nearest elevator but was +uickl" stopped b" an elderl" woman. #E'cuse meB Maddock, is it2 - need "ou to turn down the temperature in here, it/s swelteringK$ - smiled and walked past. #-/m on it, ma/am.$ Aud in b" the look that remained on her face, - hadn/t said it cordiall" enou h. 0 short man with blond hair and a crooked captain/s hat stepped out of the elevator. #(aptain on the Nova 9eckK$ Two women emer ed and 6oined him, one on each arm. - rolled m" e"es. #,e/re clear of the dock alread"2$ Fe looked back at me with a chees" smile. #0ll automated, NK &iece%a% cakeK$ Fe leaned toward the woman on his left, #7oooB cakeK$ and headed for the bar. - started back toward the elevator, but was stopped a ain. Now a heav"%set man stood before me. The reflective white suit he wore would have cost more in real life than the cruise ship. #,ere "ou oin to do an"thin to lower the temperature for Miss 5ukkett2$ he asked, lookin at me fiercel". irlfriends, en a ements, and marria es mean so little to ever"one else, how could she have known m" love for

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#1es, errrB. (lase.$ #&rofitK Mister &rofitK$ he shouted, 6ust as the ame data informed me he was the owner/s son. #- have to o ad6ust somethin upstairs, the controls here aren/t workin like the"/re supposed to.$ - bolted into the elevator and tried to find the controls. #Good afternoon, >ieutenant,$ a handsome "et obviousl"%s"nthetic male voice said. #- hope "ou/re havin a fantastic da".$ - si hed. #Iloor Eleven.$ The doors didn/t close. #1ou for ot to sa" ;&lease./ 1ou for ot to use m" name. ,h" can/t a computer be a valued member of "our crew2$
- scanned the ame data for its name. #7ka"B 3am, will "ou )lease=$

- reali:ed he had used m" real name. Fe wasn/t a ame character. The kid seemed familiar, but - couldn/t decide where -/d seen him before. #,ho are "ou2$ - asked. #- am !askob.$ - looked at the adolescent curiousl". #Growth spurt2$ Fe responded as if he were e'pectin the +uestion. #- wanted to use a vanitar that better matched this simulation.$ Fe slid the metal electrode out of the ioni:er and be an runnin a fin er alon the surface. #1ou did well to take m" advice, 0ether is chan in as - anticipated.$ #1eah, - meanB "ou said some new thin was happenin B but a malvirai2 ,ow.$ !askob looked awa". #0nother new thin ,$ he said under his breath and slammed the electrode back into the ioni:er. 3omethin was ver" different. - sensed a pulse of an er, an emotion which had been completel" absent in the coffee house, which - wasn/t even able to carr" in his presence. The person with me didn/t seem like !askob at all. - thou ht of the aura of peace and reali:ed somethin was comin over me then, too@ but it was also different. 9oubts populated m" mind, as if willin themselves into e'istence, tellin me m" memories of the coffee house were spott" and unreliable. The new thou hts were eas" to accept, and - be an

#Fe/s ot a unK$ 0 loud noise tore throu h the room and a lethal ener " dischar e spread throu h the bod" of the captain. 0s (lase screamed at the emer in securit" personnel and the startled crowd be an considerin the who%dun%its, 30M was finall" kind enou h to close the doors for me. #0nd that/s wh" - hate interabrasB$

- moved swiftl" down the eleventh floor hallwa"s. ,hen a door ahead of me chimed and slid open, - braced m"self for some who%is%the%father%of% m"%bab" kind of thin . 0 bo" emer ed, a teena er with lon black hair and a chain around his neck, wearin a tu'edo similar to those of the securit" uards, e'cept his bad e was blue, and a few pieces of cleanin e+uipment were visible around his belt. 0s if to complete the part, he was holdin a small room%ioni:er. #3o "ou actuall" went throu h with it. ,ell done, 5randon.$

to see the one in front of me as !askob. #>isten, - don/t know wh" "ou picked meB and -/m still not sure know what to do, but - decided to tr". - mean, how man" people have ever talked to a virus up close like this2$ #1ou/ll be famous, 5randon. Think of "our picture on the bi news sites, an interview on Lelka 3i'B "ou even ot some mone" out of this adventure.$ #,ell, - don/t think -/ll be able to keep the mone".$

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#,h" not2 1ou don/t know it/s stolen. 1ou deserve it an"wa". no one asked "ou to do this, but "ou e'celled at the task and now "ou can descend with "our head held hi h.$ Fis words ave me pause. The thou ht of returnin home had suddenl" been so far from m" mind, a concern which had stopped wei hin me down. #- trust 0ether, - think. - believe she/ll let me o. 3he 6ust has to fi ure out herB benevolence.$ !askob put his hand on m" shoulder and ave me a s"mpathetic look. #,e/re talkin about a malvirai. 1ou/ve done e'actl" what - needed "ou to do, but now - have to take over. -f "ou 6ust trust it and trust it, the malvirai will abuse "our kindness and press ever" advanta e over "ou ? it can/t help that. The malvirai will never 6ust let you o home.$ #5utB uhhh.$ - fou ht to think strai ht. #5ut, - 6ust found out what she is. - promised to help her. Ma"beB if we 6ust ave her a chanceB if we could understandB$ #9o "ou know how the mind of an 0- works, 5randon2 Even if "ou did, "ou wouldn/t know the first thin about this one. Malvirai are desi ned to e'pand +uickl" and disinte rateB to e'pand within a ver" limited scope, which she has broken out of. 0ether ? the )rogram called ;0ether/ ? was tr"in to follow "ou as a wa" to map out its e'pansion@ but now "ou/re doin it in reverseB you weren/t supposed to follow it.$ #5utB if she doesn/t understand herself, how can she=$ #;3he/ is a child,$ he continued, with diminishin kindness. #;3he/ isn/t bound b" an" code of decenc" or civili:ed sense of modest". -f left unchecked, ;she/ will continue to e'pand into the past and the future at an alarmin rate. The malvirai is a threat to who "ou are, 5randon. -t is a threat to the independence "ou treasure.$ Fe ave me an intent and powerful look. #-f "ou keep drivin the process, the clock will continue runnin backwards

until she traces thin s back to their foundation.$ - looked at the corridor around us. #5ackwards2 5ut, this is the present.$ The teen smirked and moved his hand to indicate the hallwa"/s decorations. bas%reliefs of riffins, paintin s of leviathan. 7ther rooms and structures entered m" mind like a vision@ it seemed !askob was brin in entire ship/s interior within m" view. Ever"where, its desi ns were crawlin with the powerful creatures, real and ima ined, of millennia past. #,ho is more superstitious than a sailor2$ he said. #Than the ones who are most e'posed to nature and an unknown the" can/t control2 ,ho even welcome the risk and the unknown out of some foolish spirit of e'ploration2 -sn/t mankind more enli htened than this toda", 5randon2$ -n a heartbeat, the vision left me. #0nd what happens when she reaches a time before m"ths2$ - asked soberl". #Think about it, "ou/ve learned the answer,$ he said, turnin awa" as if - were pitiful to look at. #The pro ram has alread" seen be"ond its own e'istence, and the e'istence of its entire universeB how much lon er before it reaches the limits of "ours2 Fow do "ou think the malvirai will react when it discovers "ou merel" descended from monke"s2 ,hat will help "ou, 5randon, when it finds no foundation but lifeless dust2$ The words cut throu h to m" heart. -t was different from !askob/s speech in the coffee house, but the power seemed to be there, and - found m"self a reein with ever"thin he said. 0fter all, this is the one lookin out for me, wh" shouldn/t he help me et back m" freedom2 Fe approached and showed me new kindness, smilin and puttin a hand on m" shoulder. #9on/t make the mistake of assi nin it human

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+ualities. The face is a simulation. The malvirai has nothin in common with "ou.$ #5ut it did somethin to m" descender,$ - replied sheepishl", feelin around m" empt" wrist. #Fow am - supposed to leave2$ #Thou h "ou did it b" accident, "ou led it ri ht where "ou need it to be. The malvirai has a fascination, "ou understandB somethin that will distract it.$ #0 fascination2$ Fe nodded. #,ith the hei htened senses - ave "ou, "ou/ll 6ust slip thou h one of the cracks in the construct and follow the thread leadin back to "our bod". -f "ou et the malvirai to spread itself thin enou h, it won/t even notice in time. Then, -/ll be able to better fi' the pro ram.$ - be an to feel lost a ain, drownin in thou hts that kept returnin to the malvirai, thou hts that disa reed with the new direction - wanted to take. reminded m"self that !askob was the one who started me down the path, and - told m"self it was fine to abandon it if he said so. Thou h, there was an emotion - couldn/t identif", one tellin me - couldn/t et off the path, that there was a wa" to know if the one uidin me was enuine or not. - fou ht the emotion, knowin what it wanted wasn/t convenient, certain its answers would counter m" desires. !askob entl" pinched his fin ers a ainst m" shoulder, callin m" attention back to his comfortin brown e"es. #Trust me.$

#Hm ? No. -/m lookin for someone. 0uon.$ The name startled her. #-t/s 6ust me, m" husband, and our friend, &ark. &lease tell the doctor !aden is awake but seein spots a ain.$ 3he be an to close the door. - blocked it with m" foot. #0ctuall", - was hopin to see "our husband, too.$ 3k"lar looked at me suspiciousl", but let me in. The room was modest b" the standards of a fictional cruise liner, but would still be a palace in real life. The li ht of the room was reflected b" the precious metals of the walls and furniture, accented b" a series of windows revealin the stars outside, and without the reen low effects. 0n older man la" on a couch in the main room. 9ru %s"nthesi:ers were on each of his arms. - knelt down and put on a s"mpathetic face. #-s there an"thin - can do to make "ou more comfortable, sir2 0d6ust the temperature, perhaps2$ #-f - didn/t like the temperature, - would/ve chan ed it "oun man,$ he replied weakl", noddin his head to indicate his wife. #That one worries too much about me. 3he/ll need to learn to take care of herself when -/m one.$ #1ou won/t die, sir. ,e have the ver" best doctors on board.$ #9octors can/t cure ever"thin . ,e all o sooner or later.$ #9on/t talk like thatK$ 3k"lar said. #1ou/re onl" in "our ei htiesK$ #9eath is a realit" that/s all around us. Me and 0uon were 6ust talkin about=$ -n the corner of m" e"e, - saw 3k"lar ive the hand%across%neck motion. !aden shru ed his shoulders. #- hate secrets, an"wa".$ 0uon emer ed from the room. #-t/s oka".$

The door to suite 110* slid open and revealed a middle%a ed woman with lon black hair. The ame data said her name was 3k"lar Aanewa", one of four people located in the room. #9id he ive "ou the medicine2$

- stood and took a moment to e'amine her vanitar, not at all like 0ether/s ;natural/ one, but shorter and with pale blue hair, wearin clothes sli htl" disheveled and out of fashion, thou h still as beautiful as characters needed to be in an interabra.

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#,e/re not supposed to encounter each other for another twent" minutes.$ #0ccordin to what2 The script2$ #1es,$ she replied. #,hat are "ou talkin about2 0re "ou oin to help m" husband2$ 3k"lar said, chokin back tears. - looked to her passivel". #Me and 0uon will stop b" the doctor on the wa" to the brid e.$ 0 man in an e'plorer/s vest bolted out of the kitchen. #-/m the one who brou ht her on boardK &unish meK$ - looked back to 0ether ? 0uon ? in confusion. #The brid e is not somewhere stowawa"s t"picall" venture,$ she said. - peeked at the ame data a ain and smiled. #,ell, uess that e'plains wh" 0uon would hide from an officer.$ - looked back and addressed the others. #3he/s not in trouble. -n fact, - knew she was here.$ The monitor strap made a hi h%pitched noise and !aden be an tremblin , promptin 3k"lar to run to his side in wonderful dramatic fashion. 0uon watched it intentl" until - rabbed her hand. #,ell, better et that doctor. Ieel better, sirK$ ,e ot out to the hallwa" and the door closed behind us. #0ether, "ou don/t have to follow the script of "our character. 1ou/re su))osed to alter the events ? that/s what these are for.$ #- was attemptin to immerse m"self in the construct as much as possibleB to empathi:e with the motivations of m" character and see if could do so better since m" last time here. The !aden character is about to e'perience death, for instance, and 3k"lar is havin reaction, includin denial of what her husband confesses.$ #- know there/s no wa" "ou could have known this, but the" tend to a stron emotional

ham%it%up in interabras. The"/re for people who en6o" drama and suspenseB fictional roller%coasters of emotion.$ - stopped and chuckled. #9eath would be one of "our fortes, and - uess a lot of our most emotional e'periences revolve around it.$ #No. 9eath was never amon m" biases.$ 0ether looked awa". - felt like an idiot. #- didn/t sa" it was. -t/s 6ustB "ou knowB bein a malvirai.$ - considered the scene on the other side of the door, wonderin if it had been the distraction !askob referred to. - asked m"self whether pullin her out mi ht have been a mistake. - shook m" head and started walkin down the corridor, knowin her fascination had 6ust been listed on the monitors back in that central access place. 5ut m" motivation was to help her, - thou ht, not to manipulate her. ,h" does it seem like that hasn/t chan ed2 #- will reveal somethin else to "ou, 5randon.$ - stopped and saw she hadn/t followed me. #- don/t think -/d want to find death amon m" biases. - don/t think want it to have an" part of what -/m becomin .$ M" feet wanted to move, but - lost the will. - considered it was possible for a malvirai to chan e, m" mind admittin what m" heart alread" decided. - saw - had a conflict, not unlike one of 0ether/s. M" feet wanted to move, but m" will had lost all enthusiasm. M" motivation was repulsive to me. Thou h - convinced m"self - was still followin !askob/s uidance, - knew - was actuall" runnin from it. !unnin was all - ever did. #,ell, let/s et to the brid e and see what else is so interestin about <ewel of :ea2en.$ M" happiness fell awa", as it alwa"s did, and - moved once more as one in an act of dut".

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#1ou do not intend to hold "our promise to 3k"lar2$ - stopped. #3k"lar isn/t real, 0ether, and her husband isn/t d"in because he isn/t real, either.$ 0ether/s face held no e'pression, but her e"es seemed as alive as ever. 3he seemed to see ri ht thou h me, knowin - wasn/t a man of m" word. tried to meet her halfwa" and din the medical ba". #This is actin first officer Maddock. &lease send a doctor to suite 110* to help a d"in man who/s seein spots.$ The male voice boomed back, speakin like someone would in an opera performance, #-/m sorr", sir. 1ou know - would. 7h, how - wouldK Falf m" staff has come down with food poisonin and passen ers are streamin thou h the door faster than - can treat themK Fe/ll 6ust have to hold on a little bit lon erK (an he 6ust hold on a little (it longerK$ #7ka", oka"K Aust et on itK$ - cut off the din, not wishin to make an" more promises to ame characters. #- suppose it doesn/t matter,$ 0ether said, passin me and continuin toward the brid e. #!aden is supposed to die in the stor", an"wa".$ - ran to catch up to her. #That/s ri htB 1ou ran this stor" ei ht" times alread", probabl" anal":ed ever" instruction%file%pro ram%whatever that/s runnin around us. 1ou know ever"thin that/s oin to happen.$ #0nd how the characters are pro rammed to react to our actionsB 1es. - find improvisin difficult not onl" because - believe it is driven b" emotion, but also because there is no point, since - alread" know how the characters will act as a result.$ #That means "ou/re not havin fun, huh2 - uess - wouldn/t in "our shoes, either.$ 0ether stopped. #Iun2$ #1eah, a enuine emotion. 0 positive=$ said.

,ithout warnin , she threw her back to the wall and clun ti htl" to its olden handrail. 5efore - could ask what she was doin , the hallwa" ? the entire ship ? trembled violentl". The main li hts flickered and red beams activated alon #(ould/ve balance. #The action was not intended. M" vanitar acted on its own.$ #Maddock to the brid e,$ a voice dinned. - looked at the hallwa" ahead of us, feelin more tense than - ever had oin into a simulated crisis. 0ll - could think of was 8orea and En or and how real 0ether insisted on makin ever"thin , how much ener " she insisted on usin . #>et/s find out what awaits us now,$ - said impatientl". The smirk of 6o" reappeared on 0ether/s face. #Iun.$ the ceilin . #!ed alert,$ a entle voice warned. #0ll to re ain m" passen ers please o to a safe location until receivin further instructions.$ iven me a little warnin ,$ - said, tr"in

The brid e was as finel" decorated as an" other part of the ship, perhaps more so since passen ers tour them wantin to be impressed. Even the control panels littered in the room, all the desi n puttin fashion over function. Tall windows surrounded us on three sides@ normall", such windows would be displa"in stars, with chart data superimposed and flashin around them@ but instead, a sparklin blue whirlpool surrounded the ship. #- can/t scan outside the sub%space field,$ the communications officer #7h reat, a sci%fi twist,$ - mumbled. #!eportK$ 0 macho%lookin man b" the name of Theodore >akewood was

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standin b" the window in front. Fe turned and walked up to me. #- ive the orders here, NK That/s wh" Lak put me in char e and not "ouK$ Theo ave me his best authoritative stare. The others looked to see who could wield the most bravado, and was therefore more capable of runnin The Intergalactic. 8nowin a little about how interabras work, looked condescendin l" at Theo and thou ht of a line that couldn/t fail. - leaned in and spoke low. #- know about the affair, and - know who doesn/t know about the affair.$ 7n cue, the actin captain fell back in surprise. ,ith his e o as the tar et, - thou ht up some techno%babble and went for the kill. #3tand asideK -/ll enerate an anti% raviton beam and take us back into normal space in no timeK$ The crew panicked and m" helmsperson spoke up. #1ou/ll tear the ship apart at this ma nitudeK$ #Then we/ll 6ust have to be luck"K$ - walked up to a control panel and started pressin random buttons. #Ever"one hold onK$ 0ctual scientific knowled e was never re+uired in an interabra. Thou h nothin - said made sense and the buttons - pressed were randoml" labeled, the simple appearance of me doin somethin was enou h to make the ship shudder a ain, and to restore the black of space to the brid e windows. - ot to bask in the lor" for onl" a few seconds, thou h, before another panel started beepin ominousl". #3ir, whatever "ou didB "ou better undo it,$ the communications officer said. #,h"2$ - asked, lookin out the window at an unremarkable, thou h ver" bri ht, star. #1ou/re sure2$ - heard Theo ask someone.

- turned and put m" dramatic voice back on. #This is no time for ames, peopleK ,e need solutionsK$ #,e can/t outrun the shock waveK -t/ll destro" the shipK$ Theo screamed. #-f m" calculations are correct and, for once, - hope the" aren/t,$ the helmsperson said, lookin up, #we/ve ot fort"%five minutes before that star oes supernovaK$ 0ether/s sense of awe was more visible than she/d reali:ed, ivin awa" the focus of her attention. - found the piece of the pu::le buried in the results of her al orithm. - saw the destro"er seein destruction. - saw the child e'periencin curiosit". - saw a newborn livin entit", admirin the awesome power of an e'plodin star. Iun.

Cha)ter "ight* "ye of the Data %torm

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9
"e called it a fascination. "e said it was my way out. I hadn&t reali0ed how empty I&d become, how easily the desire to return to my life would fade. 3y desire to help Aether had been genuine, even though I wasn&t sure what I could do. At first, Raskob set me in the direction I needed to go. Why was he now sending me back the other way* Why did he rekindle my desire to leave when I had barely started* I didn&t know why Raskob would allow someone to pose as him and confuse the intentions he&d planted. #his other Raskob told me /ust what I wanted to hear it was over, I could go home and be rewarded handsomely. I thought I really did want to go back. I was again focused on what I thought I deserved, unable to see past what I had been forced into. ?or a time, Aether became my captor again. #he -randon who wanted to guide her and be guided was suppressed by the one who /ust wanted to get it over with. I was told @the program& was using me to e!pand out of control, trying to e!plain everything it perceived. I knew if I left, it might stop. I wanted to believe it would be better for the both of us. #he first Raskob said I was trapped in a speeding car, and if I trusted him we&d both get where we needed to go. I didn&t know how true the analogy was. I didn&t want to acknowledge her +uestion was my +uestion, that her answer might bring me closer to my own. When I allowed my guidance to be tainted by greed, I saw my choices had conse+uences.
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I almost went off the cliff with her. -ut the first Raskob 5 the real Raskob 5 had still been watching over us, ready to help me even when I&d abandoned him, ready to save both of us from destruction% and to do it in the last way I might have e!pected.

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9
The man who stared back at me looked like he belon ed on a billboard, or as the sub6ect of a paintin . The ru perfectl" sculpted, blue e"es lowed like simpl" or eous with or without an officer/s cap. - tore m"self awa" from the mirror in the meetin room and shru ed m" shoulders. #-t/s not as handsome as - reall" am, but it works here.$ #Then "ou are ;attractive,/$ the short woman with blue hair replied. #3arcasm, 0ether. -t/s all liesB melodrama. - had a irlfriend in -daho who dra ed me into interabras constantl". 0ll beaut". No brains.$ #0nd 4eronica2$ #No,$ - said, allowin thou hts of home to carr" me awa". #3he/s ver" deep. 5oth beaut" and brains.$ #The data is all sub6ective. - can learn of what is considered ideal b" the reatest number of people, but - am no closer to understandin wh" the" are considered such.$ #1ou perceive onl" the data.$ #- perceive too little. Even now, - am no closer to understandin beaut" thou h it is supposedl" all around me.$ - be an pacin , tr"in to hide m" discomfort and knowin her empath" would be too poor to notice. !askob said he would take care of her after -/d left@ but, as the child, he said nothin about doin it himself, rather that he would protect me as - did it. ,hat kind of help would he ive 0ether without me2 &erhaps, thou ht, if - uided her to do somethin that would help her row ? and used that as m" distraction ? then - could kill two birds with one stone. #3o "our biases are human emotion, and the wa"s we interact with
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artificial intelli enceB$ 0 third idea formed on the tip of m" ton ue. #3pace, didn/t see that comin .$ #-t is called a ;frontier./ 0 vast area "our people e'plore more of with each passin decade, and attempt to brin under domination. - noted that "our ancestors could not travel thou h it and could not live there, it was more m"sterious in the time when the" lived.$ - snapped m" fin ers. #M"ster"K ,ho shot the captain2$ #,olfe 3tanton.$ #NoK - meant this interabra contains m"ster"K -t/s another biasK$ 0ether took a moment to think. #1our observation about the space topic is correct, thou h - believe it was the supernova that trul" drew me here. 3upernovae were a ver" appealin topic to me, actuall", because with each minute that passed new data became available.$ 3he stopped and looked at me. #- have a new +uestion, 5randon. -s that popularit" related to the event of 9ecember 2Cth2$ #1eah, there was a supernova,$ - said, seein connection. #,hen did "ou sa" "ou were born2$ #Generated,$ she corrected. #The time onl" precedes the observance on the Earth/s surface b" five seconds.$ #0ndB ,as that when "our self%awareness kicked in2$ #The precise time is difficult to determine. - have alread" considered what "ou are probabl" thinkin @ but no, - did not find a time correlation between reported sapient 0-s and reported spatial phenomenon@ and the last supernova observed as this one had occurred five hundred and sevent" five "ears a o, precedin the e'istence of artificial intelli ence.$ - thou ht of how people talked about humanit" bein made of dead stars. - remembered the officer on the beach who belittled the fact. No, - decided, he was wron . There was no other answer. if - could make a

edl" handsome face was

ems, and the brown hair was

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#7ka", so supernovae is a bias,$ - said, knockin on the window to indicate the outside. #0nd now this ship is ettin cau ht in one.$ #-s it interestin to "ou also2$ she asked. #-/m not a bi space e'ploration u".$ #Then, unless "ou believe we can accomplish more here, perhaps "ou will allow me to e'plore your biases.$ !askob/s words came back to me. &ou led it right where you need it to (e3 The mal2irai has a fascination9 you understand5 something that will distract it3 The supernova. #No, we can do more here. 1ou said somethin about puttin more of "ourself into "our vanitar, about empathi:in with "our character.$ #There are limitations to that process,$ she replied. #- am not desi ned to interact with vanitars as amai are. - must also remain conscious enou h of the construct we are in to keep it runnin , so that the server does not shut it down or detect m" actions and deplo" counter%measures.$ #Aust tr" to interact with it. 1ou/re reall" doin feel like.$ #,hatever - ;feel/ like2$ #E'cept that,$ - added, #don/t ? eer ? destro" the server.$ #0nd what of "ou2$ #9on/t worr" about me. - know how to make these thin s ? well ? fun in these thin s.$ - tri ered the door and stepped out onto the brid e. #Thank "ou,$ she said behind me, #a ain.$ - let the door close behind me without repl", ashamed of m" hope wouldn/t see her a ain. reat. 9o whatever "ou - used 30M to find a vacant suite, finall" feelin as if - had some privac" a ain. #>i hts off. 3ound off. 5linds down. >ock door.$ 3ince a simple e'it command would have been too obvious, - accessed the controls and looked for others. 3ure enou h, an"thin that would et me out of the construct without affectin it had been disabled or omitted from the list. - closed m" e"es and tried to concentrate, to ima ine the simulation broken down to its base components, to see throu h the illusion. - repeated, #there is no room there is no room there is no room,$ until the words took on a life of their own, the rh"thm comin out of m" mouth faster and faster until it seemed like one continuous stream of sound in m" head. - felt m" skin tin le and took it as a ood si n, pushin m"self further until - couldn/t feel m"self at all an"more. #There is no room.$ - opened m" e"es and found the room full" lit a ain, not b" the normal airG li htin , but b" the construct/s inherent ener ". 0ll color and definition were one. 0s soon as - could take it all in, thou h, the vision faded. Ieelin rushed back to m" vanitar. M" si ht went black and the normal vision of a dim room returned. - felt di::". 7n m" second attempt, - tried to disassociate m"self from m" vanitar as much as possible. - willed m"self to see with m" e"es closed and the vision returned, and with it a sense of the sta erin ener " around me. - was ama:ed to see the amount of computer activit" that went into a runnin construct. the countless calculations per second that had to be e'actl" ri ht. !askob said somethin about a thread connectin me to m" bod". tried to find it. - tried ? hard ? to recapture what -/d had in the dra on/s lair. -

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searched the construct as well as - could for a sword or other ob6ect that stood out, but found none. - thou ht about when - was in 9! paral"sis, nothin more than a tin" ener ". - saw an ener " bendin and refractin across a kind of ma:e, focused like a spotli ht on m" consciousness. There was another pattern, too, focused on a different sector of the construct. - followed the other pattern and saw an outline from three decks below. 0uon/s vanitar talkin to one of the ame characters. - could see the words but not hear or understand them. 0s - tried to ad6ust m" s"nchroni:ation, m" head ? m" real head ? be an throbbin and m" vision blurred. - +uickl" retreated to m" own room. The pain faded. - was impressed with m" une'plored abilities, thou h the senses sapped m" stren th. - knew the software which made up m" interface ? not to mention m" own natural senses ? weren/t desi ned to do what - was pushin them to. - thou ht a ain of the power the sword ave me, a power that made it natural to see throu h the construct, one that onl" ot bad when - tried to block the senses out. - looked for ripples in the room. -nstead, - found some kind of leamin , like the li ht reflectin off of lass powder, emanatin from ever" solid ob6ect. The points of li ht moved too fast for me to track them, thou h, and - couldn/t tell where an"thin led. -t reminded me of the static of an anti+ue television. - saw the door about fift" centimeters behind me and tried to e'amine the ener " passin throu h it. - saw m" vanitar/s ri ht hand and the three% dimensional space around it. (areful not to send an" nerve impulses to m" vanitar, - tried to manipulate the space around m" arm and hand. The" nud ed closer to the door. - observed the construct/s ener " flowin throu h the door and throu h m" hand. - tried to make one ob6ect pass throu h the other. The ener " increased, and the temperature of the air rose sharpl". Mind%blowin pain sei:ed me and - was back in m" vanitar. 0

blackened, smokin hand e6ected from the melted door surface. - fell to the floor. #(ommand vanitar. resetK$ 0 feelin like warm water came over me and the pain vanished with the in6ur". M" relief was short%lived, thou h, when - reali:ed m" vanitar didn/t reset to Nunell/s ori inal state, but all the wa" back to mine. >ike a child who/d knocked over his mother/s vase, - tried to cover or undo the mistake ? so 0ether wouldn/t wonder wh" - looked like me a ain ? but ;chan e vanitar/ had also been removed from the ame controls. - ot up and kicked the wall, cursin for the first time since m" elven arm" decided to complicatedK$ 9id - reall" think a technophobe like me could beat a mal2irai in Dynamic Reality2 - noticed m" 3N9> had been sendin me a si nal. 0 ain, - felt like a child on the ver e of bein busted. - answered, relieved it was Theo.
#NunellK ,here have "ou been2 - ordered all officers onto the Nova 9eckK$

o evil on me. #- don/t know what -/m doin , it/s too

!elief became disappointment, and disappointment hopelessness. leaned back on the wall that wasn/t reall" a wall and stared at the ceilin that wasn/t reall" a ceilin . The senses that could cut throu h it all didn/t belon to me. The abilit" to escape throu h ;a crack in the construct/ didn/t belon to me. - bid farewell to the feelin of peace, or whatever that false memor" was, and saw !askob as another liar. - knew - was on m" own. - knew - would fail. #NunellK 0re "ou there2 !espond, damn "ouK$ - reali:ed - was shuttin down. -t was a process that be an a lon time before, and that couldn/t be stopped. Even as 0ether held back m" death, distracted me from it, - had in fact one off the cliff alread". - lau hed at the reali:ation, lau hed throu h the pain, lau hed to feel an"thin at all.

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0ether was 6ust another distraction to me, a distraction that mi ht be kind enou h to kill me. The last in m" lon series of mistakes. Then she can know, like me, that the meanin of life isB #9amn me,$ - replied to Theo. #Fell sounds nice ri ht about now.$

#0nd what e2idence do "ou have to back up "our outrageous claims2$ (lase &rofit shouted. #,e can worr" about evidence later,$ - answered impatientl". #7oohB Ca)tainK - likeK$ 0nikaa screamed. 5efore she could et me back into her vice rip, thou h, - rabbed her arm and we tumbled to the floor. - knelt above her to sta" out of view.

The Nova 9eck was packed with the same people as before. The star that was to o supernova was in full view of the room, and without the reen distortin filter, which had overloaded. The uests met their impendin doom
as the" were pro rammed to meet ever"thin in life ? b" complainin about it.

#7oohB (aptainK !i ht here in front of people2 7ka".$ #No, No, No. - want to lea2e, understand2 - want to descendK !i ht nowK$ #,e/ll do whatever "ou want, hon. 7nl" ot minutes to live.$ 3he brushed m" hair and leaned up to kiss me. - held back a scream and ot back to m" feet, knowin - was runnin out of time. 5efore - could think of an" more ideas, the uards introduced me to an an r"%lookin man with lon , brown hair and a technician/s uniform. ,olfe 3tanton, one of the ship/s en ineers. The uests and staff in the two%level Nova 9eck all went into a fren:", 6ust as the interabra called for. - knew ,olfe/s role was the villain, to trick me and pla" with me and even kill me, and - had no patience left for stupid ames. #Throw him out an airlockK$ - commanded, promptin the crowd to scream for ven eance, to make 3tanton a temporar" scape oat for their permanent problems. The uards started dra carr" out the sentence. #(lase &rofit put me up to thisK 8ill him, not meK$ ,olfe screamed. #Fe/s the one who threw the ship into sub%spaceK$ - turned to where (lase had been. Fe was one. #Iind and arrest=$ 0 loud crash from above cut me off. Two people fell from the ceilin in him toward an elevator to

Tom and the others were tr"in to keep the peace from the sta e. 0s approached, 0nikaa Trumpp rushed from the crowd and embraced me vi orousl". #1our wife is not here, "ou will never see her a ainB come and die with a real=$ #Geeeetttttt offffffffK$ - shouted, pushin the persistent woman awa". 0 ain someone shouted those four words, and -/d have sworn it was the same voice. #Fe/s ot a unK$ The pulse of ener " hit Theo in the chest and he collapsed on the sta e. 7n cue, the crowd panicked. 0 woman fainted ri ht in front of me and, before - could react, a man was snappin his fin ers above her face, stupidl" askin her if she was awake. The doctor ? of course, on the site of the dramatic scene ? checked Theo/s pulse, looked somberl" up at me, and said, #1ou/re the captain now.$ #!andom.$ - plucked the cap off of Theo/s head and slid it onto mine. #0rrest ,olf ? uhhhB$ #,olfe 3tanton2$ 0 nearb" uard asked. #1eah, he/s the one who killed LakK (apture himK$

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li hts and landed directl" in the marble froth, showerin the center of the room with lass, diamond bits, and foam" water. 0uon emer ed from the fountain, rabbin a man b" the hair. #Austice.$ The man was (lase &rofit. The water had made his reflective white suit into a pale ra" mess. #3ave the da", (aptain.$ 0uon tossed a small black device toward me.
#-t/s a sub%space a itator. (lase did this2$ The doctor picked up the device and handed it to me. #1ou/re the onl" one who knows how to use thisK$
#Mister &rofitK$ (lase corrected. 0uon shoved his head back into the water.

learn all this stuff about life and - reall" hope "ou find it, but -/m ettin tired here. - want to o home. Now.$ There was a fleetin but clear emotion in her e"es, one that made me feel -/d stabbed her in the heart. ,hen it disappeared, it took with it the curiosit" we so briefl" shared. #Then "ou/re finished2$ she asked, more coldl" than seemed possible for her. #Iind someone else, oka"2$ #1ou said "ou would help me willin l". 1ou said - was ;reall" doin reat./ ,ere those the words of a man who would abandon his friend2$ Now it was her words stabbin m" heart. The mountin an er a ainst 0ether was countered b" shame ? shame that knew she was ri ht ? shame that made me feel small and foolish. #>ook at them.$ - said calml", indicatin the crowd around us. two decks of wealth" men ettin drunk, women screamin irrationall", people pocketin diamond shards as if the" would be worth somethin when the" were dead, and a man in a ruined ra" suit shovin an older woman out of the wa" to reach his escape pod. Ma"be it is all dumb and e'a better deep down inside2 #1ou thou ht humans had all the answersB well, there/s humanit"K$ shouted. #The"/re all worried about society and manners, but all the" reall" want is more of their mone"B to be shin" and lamorous and perfect as if the arba e means an"thin K -/m sorr", 0ether, - reall" am, but none of us knows all the answers and we couldn/t care less, an"wa"B not if the" mean oin outside of our little bo'esK$ #1ou said this was ;melodramatic./ 1our people don/t reall" behave this wa".$ erated, - thou ht@ but am - reall" an"

#Furr", sir,$ the doctor shouted, #we onl" have five minutes before the supernovaK$ The crowd settled and prepared to witness m" heroics. - took the device and looked at it mockin l". #Iive minutes2 ,ho saves the da" with five whole minutes to spare2$ - dropped the device and broke it with m" foot. Gasps spread, and the un%announcer shouted #,e/re all onna dieK$ The mass of people panicked. #-s this a demonstration of oin outside the script2$ a voice to m" side asked. - turned and saw 0ether in her normal vanitar. #-t did call for "ou to et the device thirt" seconds before the disaster, but - improvised in the wa" that seemed ri ht to me. - did not anticipate "ou would react as "ou did. This pro ram will destro" The Intergalactic now.$ #- don/t care, -/m done here,$ - said, facin awa". #This was worthwhile. - am ea er to see where we o ne't.$ #There is no ne't. - want to o.$ #(larif" ;there is no ne't./$ - looked back at her, feelin less certain than determined, allowin an er to creep back into the e+uation. #>ook, -/m thrilled "ou/re tr"in to

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#,hen the electricit" oes out, when ta'es o up, whenever somethin falls out of place the" all come out of the woodworkK This is what were all like on the inside, when it/s ever" man and woman for themselvesK 1ou know ever"thin the"/re pro rammed to do, ri ht2 -t seems accurate enou h to me.$
#- did not find m" answers in that data, - believe that "ou are the ke"=$

#5ecause "ou lost "our ameK$ - couldn/t brin m"self to respond@ then she was centimeters from m" face. Fer dark reen e"es seemed to see ri ht throu h me, her silver hair to low like fire. #- have tried to understand,$ she said. #- have failed.$ The final battles between her heart and her pro rammin drew to a close@ her pro rammin would be the victor. - knew in that moment - was oin to die. - knew death was what - deserved, even what - wanted. - saw m"self throu h 0ether/s e"es and broke down in tears. - knew - failed her. knew - failed ever"one. >eave it to me to let ever"one down. The sounds in the room were fadin and hollow. Ior an instant, - dared to hope 0ether was descendin me, but m" vision hadn/t become mists and shadows. 3omethin else was happenin . -t was a blast of wind. Not in the construct, but in m" soul. >ike before, like on the deserted street, - hadn/t reali:ed it was thereB callin m" attention to itself. The stupid alarms had been ettin in the wa" and - never asked for the help - needed. - wasn/t alone. 0ether/s an er faltered, invaded b" some alien thin . The feelin of peace returned, not because - willed it to, but because it saturated the wind. - could hear the crowd a ain, as so much useless noise, weak and reverberatin . ,ith no sense of m"self, - looked into the room, m" vision cuttin throu h the chaotic crowd. M" si hts fell on the second stor". 0 man was there. Fe was in the uniform of a securit" officer. Fe was watchin us, calm but confused, suddenl" set apart from those around him. 0n amai seein for the ver" first time.

#5ut that/s what -/m here for, isn/t it2 -/m 6ust another piece of software for "ou to break intoB for "ou to anal":e and crackK$ #1es ? Ma"be ? - don/t knowK$ she said, the pauses short between her words. #,h" is the idea offensive to "ou2 - consider m"self to be softwareK$ #That/s "our problemK ,e/re not softwareK$ - calmed m" voice and turned m" back to her. #&lease, 6ust send me home. -f "ou ever find "our answers, imme a call, ;cause - sure don/t have them.$ - stared at the riotin , increasin l" drunken, crowd. -n a couple of minutes, - knew, the star would supernova and the construct would come crashin down. - wondered whether - would disappear with it, whether - trul" wanted to disappear. The thou hts seemed foolish. - was bein as ridiculous as that crowd, - reali:ed, as a crowd that didn/t even e'ist. ,h" am - so an r" - would risk m" life2 NoK This is a mistakeB have to= - turned back to salva e what - couldB too late. The stoic malvirai was one. The benevolence she could not understand was +uickl" slippin awa"@ 6ust as m" an er fed that of the elven soldiers, it had brou ht the destro"er within her back to power. No sooner than - could make e"e contact, the malvirai slammed me in the chest. Too%real pain stun me and - flew back five meters, into the wall, crumplin onto the floor.
#1ou are a h"pocriteK 1our entire race is h"pocris"K -s this ;stab in the back/2 -s this ;han out to dr"/2 -s the entiret" of "our lives politics and ames2$

- ot up and, futilel", put distance between me and her. #-/m sorr"K$

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10
#he crackpot servers claim AIs become self$aware every day. 2fficially, the event is impossible. 6nofficially, programmers and scientists proclaim they know e!actly how it happens and can make an AI self$aware on demand. )uch a self$aware amai is the sub/ect of countless modern stories, especially those in science$fiction, horror, and even romance. ?iction or reality, though, no two people agree on how it happens. "ow could they when they don&t even understand our own sapience* When they still draw lines between natural and artificial intelligence* If our intelligence is natural and used to mimic what nature has already done, why should we look on our work as different* If we could program artificial intelligence and give it self$awareness, not on the level of monkeys or dolphins, but like that of humans% We can&t. Why did Aether stay away from the laboratories that may have held answers for her* Why should she hesitate to harm me* Why would she try to learn emotion* 3alvirai have no such programming, nothing at all to stop them from self$destructive reigns of analysis and destruction. Why would a game character become as real as me* 4ightning strikes and neutrinos don&t begin to e!plain it. Any rational person would say it was impossible, yet it happened right in front of me% a change so sudden, comple!, and accurate there had to be an intelligence behind it1 an intelligence that broke all our rules to create living code, to remove the limits from an amai&s e!istence. #hen there were two two kinds of artificial intelligence, very different in every way but one. #rue self$awareness, it seems, cannot simply be coded.
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#0ether, stopK 1ou/re scarin himK$ The amai/s e"es darted around the room. ,hat thou hts must have been oin throu h such a newl"%formed consciousness, - could onl" ima ine. #-t/s oka", -/m not onna hurt "ou,$ - said, slowl" approachin . #7therB oneK$ he shouted. #0ether, seriousl"K$ 0ether re%en a ed her vanitar directl" in front of the amai/s face. The poor man darted across the room and slipped on someone/s empt" boo:e bottle. - started to run toward him, but 0ether put her arm up for me to stop. #5e%still%The%event%ma"%be%preservedK$ - stru led to separate the words. #Event2 ,hat2$ ,ith an intense flash of li ht and noise, the activit" in the room stopped. The view of the supernova and ever"thin outside simpl" fell into blackness. 0 messa e beamed into m" 3N9>. A7H!NE1 (7M&>ETE TF0N8 &!E3ENT0T-7N 17H! 8EN3-NGTE8 0((7HNT F03 E.*C0.000,0 &7-NT3 !EM0-N-NG - dismissed the messa e and reali:ed 0ether/s concern, relieved the securit" uard hadn/t been reabsorbed with the other amai. Thou h, seein all but two of the people in the room vanish ? ood compan" or no ? didn/t e'actl" calm his a itated nerves. #0lmost thirt"%nine percent of its code is unreadable.$ 17H I7! (F773-NG TF-3 -IT ME9-0

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#:is code,$ - corrected. #Fis.$ #-f that is properB ;his/ code.$ 0ether be an walkin toward the amai ? an"thin but slowl" ? until he be an what sounded like a scream. #(alm "ourself, "ou are of interest to me and - mean "ou no harm,$ she said, in what she probabl" considered a soothin voice. Fe screamed louder. #,hat/s wron with him2$ - asked. 3he stopped and backed off a step, starin at the amai. #0ether2$ Fer vanitar be an flickerin . #3top screamin . &lease stop.$ - stepped closer. #0ether, what=$ #This isn/t ri htK$ she screamed. #,h" doesn/t it leave me alone2$ The two of us had appeared on the brid e, a version of it with dim panels and dark windows. - could hear its metallic back wall vibratin , weakenin . 3ome force was tearin it apart molecule b" molecule. 0ether stopped and looked up. #-t isn/t distressed an"more.$ #,hat2$ #- left the room and it isn/t distressed an"more.$ #,hat ;it,/ the amai2$ #1es.$ - felt somethin stron , somethin unpleasant, an r". - reali:ed 0ether wasn/t speakin in monotone. #0ether, wh" are "ou flickerin 2$ #0 s"nchroni:ation problem.$ 3he looked at me. #- am e'periencin a itation, 5randon. - cannot turn m" pro rammin off. - wasn/t prepared for problems.$ #5ecause he/s screamin 2$

#5ecause - want to rip him apartK$ ,ith a flash of li ht, the brid e/s back wall disinte rated. - was silent and m" fear returned, but her an er faltered a ain and she seemed confused. #Fe was screamin because he knows that - am dan erous.$ #5ut "ou/re not dan erous, "ou/re past that now,$ - said, hopefull". #1ou/ve been around all those other amai=$ #- don/t care about other amai, - want that oneK$ - nearl" collapsed. 0ether kept tr"in to hold her emotion back, but was clearl" over her limit, be"ond her e'perience in handlin it. #- cannot den" what - am,$ she continued. #- can/t decide to not dama e him. -t seems so lo icall" simple, but - can/t= - should 6ust=$ Fer vanitar fro:e. There was a feelin of presence still, a distant one, from the amai. - approached where the wall had been, wonderin how to leave the brid e, since the space itself had been dama ed.
#3uch destruction is all - know, 5randon. -t is an inseparable part of me.$

3tandin to m" side, 0ether put her hand into the space. - saw it distort and there was a whinin noise until she pulled it out. - was overwhelmed. - couldn/t believe 0ether could doubt herself and run into a wall. - felt pit" for her, because her oal was 6ust, and it seemed wron she would ive up on it. #3end me back.$ #,h"2$ - didn/t know wh". 0ll - could think of was m" self%doubt. - knew she had no reason to trust me. - was 6ust like her, e'actl" like her. - couldn/t even trust m"self. - turned and stared at the blackness throu h the windows, rememberin the wind was ever"where, rememberin there was another who - could trust,

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knowin there was an answer. #5ecauseB$ !askob, what is the answer2 - turned and approached her. #5ecause - need thisB 5ecause you need this. 5ecause -/m supposed to help "ou, remember2 That means - catch "ou when "ou fall.$ There was silence, and - reali:ed what - had said. - knew the words weren/t mine, but - a reed with them. The words were honest and selfless. - found her stern e"es set on me, si:in me up all over a ain, tr"in to decide whether to trust someone who clearl" couldn/t be. - looked back with some desperation, feelin ashamed and wishin for a second chance, wishin for it as -/d never wished for an"thin in m" life. The look in 0ether/s e"es softened. - couldn/t feel her an er an"more. #Good luck.$ - was returned to the second level of the Nova 9eck. The amai was still there, lookin around the room in confusion. #M" name is 5randon, what/s "ours2$ - said, slowl", as if speakin to a "oun child. Fe looked at me, surprised. #Name2$ #1ou ? "our character ? had a name, ri ht2 (an "ou tell me what it is2$ Fe closed his e"es, tr"in to access a memor" unfamiliar to him. #3cott,$ he said. #3cott Nuon.$ - took a few steps toward him. Fe didn/t seem to mind. #1ou want to sit2$ - pointed to the barstools. #- don/t know.$ #3orr", -/ve never met a self%aware amai before. Aust do whatever is comfortable for "ouB tr" to rela'.$

#Thank "ou, 5randon,$ 3cott said, soundin almost normal, but sa"in nothin else. Fis e"es wouldn/t stop movin , takin in all the li ht that came to them ? or whatever an amai uses to see. 0 feelin of presence was there, weak and undeveloped, but certainl" one no ame character could tri er. one confirmin somethin real la" beneath his artificiall"%handsome surface, a real personalit" beneath the pro rammin . #3o, - uess "ou don/t like malvirai.$ #,hat is ;malvirai/2$ - scratched m" head, feelin a little embarrassed. #>et/s start somewhere else, thenB what do "ou remember2$ 3cott stared at me blankl". #Irom the stor"B "ou were on this ship in the stor".$ Fe looked awa" and tried to think. #0 world of m"ster" and romance awaits "ou on board The -nter alactic, the hottest new series=$ #- know what the promo sa"s,$ - said, tappin him on the shoulder, causin him to flinch a little. #3orr", -/m not tr"in to scare "ou.$ #There is dan er here,$ he said. #0 star is oin to e'plode.$ #No. No. ,e/re safe now. No star is oin to e'plode.$ #5ut the captain ot shotB then "ou became the captainB but "ou don/t look like "ou did.$ #No. This is what - normall" look like. The other man was ? - uess ? a costume.$ 0 silent moment passed. - was relieved to see he was rememberin thin s from the simulation, even if it was slow to come back. #,h" is the Nova 9eck empt"2$ he asked. #5ecauseB Ever"bod" went to bed.$ 3cott didn/t seem to comprehend the answer. 7f course, for all the dramatic scenes that happen there the deck would never be empt".

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#9id "ou ask if - wanted to sit2$ he asked, lookin lon in l" at the tables. #,hatever is comfortable to "ou.$ - was lad to know m" desire to help him was enuine. The desire to o home a ain took a back seat, and - was back on the road !askob reall" set me on. the ri ht road. -t wasn/t 0ether/s pra matism, or m" wish to earn her trust back, that put me in that room with 3cott. -t was the lesson - still had to learn. - was 0ether/s onl" chance, and !askob was m" onl" chance. ,ithout help, without pushin forward, death would +uickl" overtake us both.

!ealit" ? as new and ama:in . ,hat 0ether had pushed herself to understand in a spirit of utilit", 3cott took in indiscriminatel", with child%like curiosit". 0s more of his confusion became +uestions, thou h, and more of his +uestions became answers, his curiosit" be an to diminish. 5" increasin his knowled e so +uickl", he fell into a ver"%human problem. becomin aware of what he didnt knowB ever" piece of information sproutin connections to ten more +uestions, ones he couldn/t articulate, ones - had no answer forB connections that simpl" fi::led out and scarred. The rate of his +uestions slowed and the child%like mood withered in the face of a newer, more%robust confusion. #,hat do - do now2$ 3cott looked despairin l" at the red securit"

The two of us sat in the disheveled, half%rendered room for a lon time, me tr"in to keep the conversation oin and 3cott learnin how to have one without a script. ,e talked about 9"namic !ealit" mostl", since thin s were forei n enou h to the man alread" without me brin in up the real world. ,e also talked about 0ether/s trouble raspin emotion@ thou h the" certainl" came easier to the amai, he didn/t seem to understand the concept an" better. 7f course, the discussions fell back to m" own life, the onl" stor" - reall" had to tell. - mentioned >os 0n eles as the place - came from, and be an describin sk"scrapers, tr"in to choose m" words carefull" so he could comprehend them. 0n ima e of the cit" sk"line appeared ne't to us and 3cott enthusiasticall" studied it. - took it as a si n 0ether wanted to participate in the conversation, even if from a distance. -t was like talkin to a full"% rown newborn. 3cott would often be confused b" some knowled e -/d taken for ranted. - resisted the ur e to push him and took m" time. 3cott was so curious about the world and - felt so smart@ he hun on m" ever" word and raduall" be an askin +uestions, seein ever"thin in m" world ? even described within the limits of 9"namic

bad e in his hands, knowin it represented a 6ob that didn/t e'ist, on a ship that didn/t either. #,ellB$ - started, wishin - knew what to tell him. #-t/s a prop,$ he said, flin in the bad e onto the table. #Ever"thin know is 6ust props. ,hat do - do now2$ - put m" hand on his, not unlike when - talked to 0ether in the coffee shop. #9on/t worr", we/ll fi ure somethin out.$ - wondered if 0ether started off like 3cott. No, - thou ht, she definitel" would/ve been confused and afraid ? and ma"be still is@ but her pro rammin ? her ver" core ? led her down a different path. Now this amai ? a ;phenomenon/ she had wanted to e'plore ? reacted to her simple presence with fear, and a well%earned fear. Neither of them were prepared, - knew. would have to be the one to brid e their ap. #1ou remember the woman who was with meB the one who/s been helpin me et those enc"clopedia articles and ever"thin 2$ - felt 3cott tense. - held his hand ti hter. #1ou don/t have to be afraid of her. 3he/s 6ust curious and she wants to help, like me.$

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#There is somethin wron with me,$ 3cott said. #- don/t think - can help it.$ #There/s nothin wron with "ou, 3cott. 0nd -/ll be ri ht here, oka"2 7vercomin is a part of life, and - know "ou have it in "ou.$ #0ether2$ - dinned. #0re "ou listenin 2$ #- should not o there. ,e will not react to each other if - remain here.$ #5ut - need "our help, and "ou need this, too, remember2$ #1ou said "ou were oin to help me, not the reverse.$ - si hed. #7ka", - think -/m read".$ - looked strai ht at 3cott. #,hat2$ #-/m read",$ he repeated. #3he can come. - want her to come.$ Fis rowin confidence brou ht a smile to m" face, and - reminded 3cott - was there for him. Iinall", 0ether/s silver%haired vanitar materiali:ed on the other side of the deck. #GaaahhhhK$ Fe be an tremblin . #-t/s oka", it/s oka". Think about somethin peaceful,$ - said. #1our fear is irrational. - onl" wish to e'amine "ou,$ 0ether said cautiousl". #- can/t stop it,$ 3cott replied, soundin like someone who was afraid of hei hts and stuck on a ti htrope. #-s there somethin wron with him2$ #The problem is mine,$ 0ether said. #Fis code contains a module desi ned to detect malvirai, a module which - am now readin as partiall" scrambled. M" own cloakin function no lon er works on it ? - mean, him. believe his pro rammed response is manifestin itself as an emotion.$ 3cott started screamin a ain. #,hat does that mean2 (an/t "ou do an"thin 2$ - asked.

#Fis module is desi ned to alert the server/s defenses to m" presence. 5lockin that link is simple, but - can/t attempt to override his functions.$ 3cott forced himself to stop. #Tr". &lease.$ #-=$ 0ether started but held back, instead pleadin with me. #&lease make him comfortable, 5randon.$ #Iear isn/t ever rational. -t/s hard,$ - said, as much to both of them. #&lease make it o awa"K$ 3cott shouted. #1our fear is not conductive to m" oalsK$ 0ether shouted back, smaller pauses between her words. #- must leaveK - will cause dama eK$ #NoK 3cott needs to learn to deal with thisK$ #5ut%-/m%causin %him%painK -%don/t%want%him%to%hate%meK$ Fate her2 - looked toward 0ether@ pain was written all over her face. -f there was one emotion 0ether would have known, it was the all%consumin hatred of ever"thin , the onl" emotion characteristic of malvirai. Fere was the ver" creature her pro rammin screamed at her to destro", "et she saw it as uni+ue and valuable, and "et it pushed her awa"@ part of what made him beautiful and livel" also re6ected her. 3cott/s dumb automated code stood in the wa", creatin noise that should have been simple to turn off, if onl" 0ether could overcome her own. That old destro"er was still there, so soon after m" foolish self coa'ed it back out of her. 0ether could probabl" see ever" line of code and know e'actl" how to alter 3cott/s connections ? whatever wasn/t scrambled, at least@ but it was her pro rammin that knew all of that, data uidin her to interrupt, infect, and destro" what her alien emotions were tellin her to preserve and e'plore. -f 0ether tried to use that knowled e, even with ood intentions, how could she be sure she could trust herself2 There would be no shortcuts for either of them@ perhaps it was better that wa".

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- slowl" brou ht the hesitant malvirai closer to the table. 3cott did ever"thin he could to hold back his reaction, and 0ether/s an er remained at ba". - never stopped askin and pra"in in m" heart for help. The road was lon and painful, but eventuall", there were three at the table and it seemed we could o forward. #Fow do "ou feel2$ 0ether asked him. #- don/t know,$ 3cott said, sincerel". #Aud in b" "our response, "ou understand 5randon better than - do.$ - chuckled. 7f course, she didn/t mean it to be funn". #Think we can take one more alon on this cra:" 6ourne"2$ - asked. 0ether seemed pleased at the +uestion and all it implied, but her response was an"thin but lowin . #FeB$ she looked to 3cott, #1ou are desi ned to e'ist specificall" on this server.$ 3he addressed me. #Man" amai, includin 3cott, are hi hl" proprietar". 0s a malvirai, - have no dependencies to inhibit inter%server travel. 0s an ascender, "our consciousness is also independent of the servers it inhabits.$ 3he looked to 3cott a ain. #5ut, in order for me to carr" "ou as - do 5randon, "our code would re+uire e'tensive modification.$ 0ether looked awa", betra"in the shame she felt. Thou h 3cott didn/t seem uncomfortable with the idea, 0ether/s reaction confirmed what - alread" knew. 3he would rather not tempt fate. #,ellB There/s no rush. This construct will sta" put as lon as we need it, ri ht2$ - asked. #1es. Hntil - unlock the server/s resources.$ #,h" do - have to o2$ #,h" wouldn/t "ou want to o2$ 0ether asked him, seemin curious to understand his different needs, perhaps even to the de ree of role reversal. If I were a )ro)rietary amai who didnt want to lea2e5 it.$

#This place ? construct ? 6ust feels ri ht to me.$ #This construct is where "ou ori inated, but it does not offer "ou a future. Even without leavin collection of information.$ #5ut what if it/s too much for me2$ 0ether hesitated. #- don/t understand.$ #- meanB -/m 6ust a ame characterB so that/s all - can be, ri ht2 Fow do - know what - can handle2 5randon told me how brave "ou were, but - can/t ever do that.$ #5raver" was not=$ 0ether stopped and lanced at me for a second, reco ni:in a 6ud ment of her own emotions and lettin mine stand. #3cott, "ou cannot know what "ou can/t do until "ou make attempts,$ she said. #That is a lo ic - have found to be true.$ #3o, there are thin s you can/t do2$ he asked, as if uncertain which answer he was hopin for. #1es. - am bad with emotion, for e'ample. 0lso, - cannot tell a stor" as interestin l" as 5randon does. ,hen he told "ou m" histor", he used less than five percent of what - told him, "et his words fostered a better reaction.$ #1ou were fine, 0ether,$ - said. #That doesn/t have an"thin to do with #Then - misunderstood a ain,$ 0ether replied. #3o - do have limitations, 3cott, despite m" inclination to eliminate them. Even with much time, - will never be without limitation. - will never be able to enter 5randon/s world or e'perience it as a human would. This knowled e is unpleasant, but have accepted it.$ #5randon/s world2$ 3cott asked. - put m" head in m" hands and si hed. #9o not concern "ourself with it,$ 0ether continued, reali:in her this server, - can e'pose "ou to a diverse

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mistake. #1ou must be in "our emotional development.$

rowth locall", within this server. - can

0ether was silent, but her e"es betra"ed the turbulence within her. #No,$ she finall" whispered. #-wonteverK$ 3he clenched her e"es shut, and reali:ed a wall had 6ust been breached. #,h"%don/t%-%understand2%-%want%to% understandK$ - nearl" lurched for 3cott, thinkin he would be scared and run awa"@ but he fou ht his fear and did 6ust the opposite. - was still, unable to move, unable to do an"thin but watch. 3cott entl" put his hand on 0ether/s balled%up fist, and seemed to absorb the an er from her. #1ou/re tr"in to o back, ri ht2 1ou want to know that feelin of beaut" a ain.$ 0ether opened her e"es. #5utB 1ou don/t know an"thin B Fow can "ou know that2$ #- don/t know,$ he replied. #5ut is it true2$ #,h" is it so wron for me to e'pand2 ,h" is so much tr"in to inhibit m" attempts2$ #- don/t know that either.$ - could sense 0ether/s an er tr"in to sur e up, but it kept falterin , diminishin before it could amount to a reaction. #,ho does know2$ she asked in desperation. #- know so man" thin s, who can teach me2$ #,hat if "ou know nothin 2 ,hat if ever"thin "ou know chan es2$ #ThenB ,hat is the oal of learnin 2$ #There ma" be a oal "ou haven/t seen.$ #That/s not a solutionB$ 0ether ripped her hand out from under his. #That/s not an"thin K$ #3cott,$ - said, #ma"be "ou should ease up. 1ou don/t know what "ou/re talkin about and "ou/re makin her upset.$ #- don/t even know what -/m sa"in , 5randon. -s it normal to have words come without thou ht2$

provide for "our ph"sical development and 5randon can provide for "our #0nd would that make us friends2$ 3cott asked. #No. - alread" have a friend.$ #7h, -/m sorr".$ #,e can all be friendsK$ - shouted, in spite of m"self. #There aren/t rulesB "ou can have as man" friends as "ou wantK$ 3cott seemed happ" at the statement, for whatever definition of friendship he knew. 0ether showed worr", but it passed +uickl". - remembered to smile and calm m"self. #- know, 0etherB 1ou should download some common sense,$ - said in 6est. #-t would do wonders for "ou.$ #- anal":ed that phenomenon in m" ori inal stud" of humanit". - found man" contradictions and concluded that common sense is too sub6ective to be useful.$ #3ub6ective,$ 3cott said. #- don/t have that word. ,ould common sense teach it to me2$ #-f it is useful, 5randon, then - will make another attempt to stud" common sense,$ 0ether said. #5ut m" abilit" to establish outside connections is dampened b" m" maintenance of this construct, and the cancellation of 3cott/s alert si nals. -t is further reduced b" the use of m" vanitar.$ #Aust for et about it,$ - replied. #M" alert si nals2$ 3cott asked. #To who2 ,h" would - be desi ned to do that2$ #5ecause "our pro rammin sa"s that - am a dan er to "ou,$ she said evenl". #M" kind destro" "our kind.$ #0nd "ou/re oin to destro" me2$

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#The words are trueK$ #0etherK$ #0ll - know are liesK 0nd the humans don/t know an"thin K No one knows an"thin K There is no truthK Not even beau=t"B$ 0ether/s e"es widened in shock. M" 3N9>/s connection to the control software was abruptl" severed. 3cott innocentl" be an to ask, #,hat/s a sentr=$ 3omethin appeared to come out from 0ether and strike me. The room vanished as - lost connection with m" vanitar. - saw the same ; leamin / in the construct as before, the points of li ht movin much slower, appearin more detailed. - felt like - had after the dra on fi ht, durin m" 9! paral"sis. - saw m" own ener " a ain, ever"where and nowhere in the construct at once, m" senses oin well be"ond what - had mana ed alone in secret. - tried to see the Nova 9eck and found a ver" different pattern, still behavin in harmon" with the construct. 3cott/s ener ", still s"nchroni:ed, still a part of the room, a place where time moved ver" slowl". There was a third ener " pattern. - focused m" consciousness to its source and found what resembled an immense cloud of data connected to ever"thin , formin and breakin countless links with the construct, faster than - could perceive them. - couldn/t tell what she had done, whether she/d chan ed time within the construct or somethin . - a ain saw words, or rather some kind of din messa es. - couldn/t ad6ust m" s"nchroni:ation, - had none@ the construct wasn/t seein me at all. - focused directl" on the messa es to interpret them as sound, but the attempt left me with a painful bu::in noise. 0 fourth ener " pattern entered the construct, the other source of the din messa es@ it was as formidable as 0ether/s and 6ust as out%of%tune with the ener " around it. The words were data, which - somehow ot m" 3N9> to convert@ not

as sound, but as thou hts of meanin s racin throu h m" mind. - understood enou h to see 0ether was pleadin for us, tr"in to reason with the sentrai. sensed passion in her actions, passion that told me she reall" did care about us, the passion of someone protectin her friends, protectin those who were willin to ive a malvirai a chance to become somethin more. The few responses from the sentrai were rote and severe. ;ille al operations/ were in pro ress and ever"thin in the sector would be destro"ed. Even as 0ether pleaded with it, the unhesitatin sentrai ? not pro rammed for diplomac", an"wa" ? attempted its first attack. 0s if hit b" some cra:" li htnin strike, the data space 0ether occupied lit up and fi::led. The attack failed. - saw 0ether had shifted position and, after onl" an instant/s pause, had continued pleadin for her rival to stop. - witnessed several more attacks, with 0ether sta"in on the defensive. dod in , blindin , trippin up ever"thin it did. 0ether didn/t want to be an enem", but the dumb sentrai couldn/t see that. -t onl" knew what it was pro rammed to do. - reali:ed the malvirai wouldn/t et to choose@ eventuall" she would have to fi ht and, if her smooth and effortless dod es hinted at an"thin , - didn/t e'pect the sentrai would last ver" lon a ainst the class 0<. The thou ht wasn/t so comfortin when one of the sentrai/s attacks deflected dan erousl" close to m" data space. 0 ood chunk of the construct/s operatin code had simpl" been deleted. - tried to move. Then, one of the li htnin attacks fired in m" direction ? the sentrai havin made me its tar et. - dod ed the attack, feelin the shocks of fi::lin FN09( connectors nearb". 0ether made her first attack, dama in the module or appenda e or whatever the sentrai used to attack me. -t was a minor hit, meant to keep the heat on her. -n spite of her attempts to cancel them out, some of the sentrai/s attacks were deflectin onto the construct/s modules. Ever"thin - knew about

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computers said the operatin code could onl" take so much corruption. moved near to 3cott/s ener ", not knowin what - could do to protect him. 3ince he was movin in harmon" with the construct/s ener ", if an attack came toward him, - thou ht, - couldn/t help him dod e it. - wondered how badl" - could et hurt, thinkin if - took a hit for 3cott m" real bod" mi ht not be affected. 3mall shocks, vibrations, be an comin thou h the connectors. The sentrai was attackin the construct itself ? some part of it that was connected to ever"thin . 0ether attempted to deflect the attacks, but could not control where the" ended up oin . 3he finall" went for the offensive. 0 pulse shot out from her and sei:ed a portion of the sentrai/s ener ", whatever it was had a neutrali:in effect and its ener " pattern be an to resemble 0ether/s more than its own. The sentrai retaliated and mana ed to scramble part of 0ether/s ener ". - moved fast to prevent the weakenin connectors from brin in down the Nova 9eck and its inhabitant. - wasn/t even sure how -/d done it. -t was as if thinking about stren thenin its own. The malvirai still held back, still refused to ive in to her devilish pro rammin @ but her benevolent will could not withstand what the sentrai did ne't. The attacker had be un to adapt to 0ether/s moves ? the ver" biases she held ? and calculated wa"s to take advanta e of them. More of its attacks deflected onto the construct/s most important modules. 0s - took m" uard down to mend the dama e, the sentrai attacked the most vulnerable ener " pattern. 3cott. - moved back as fast as - could, to protect him from an" more attacks. -t was not necessar", thou h. The sentrai wouldn/t et an" more opportunities or ener i:in somethin either ave me the knowled e or caused it to happen on

to fire on the two of us. The malvirai was throu h with diplomac". Fer ever" movement flowed outside m" perception. The data space around them shifted and formed a barrier, which the sentrai/s attacks couldn/t break out of. - could see 0ether/s opponent diminishin in power and si:e with each attack, and if - can see the sentrai/s movements, - thou ht, a malvirai shouldn/t have an" trouble. - tore m"self awa" and tried to discern what - saw ne't to me. The ener " ? 3cott/s livin ener " ? was fallin apart, clumps literall" breakin awa" and disinte ratin . - desperatel" set m" mind to healin him, the same wa" -/d been repairin the construct, until somethin bolted throu h m" ener ", paral":in me. -n an instant, 3cott/s pattern seemed to be a reat distance awa". 3omethin had rabbed and hurled me back. - was disoriented and in m" vanitar a ain. The Nova 9eck wasn/t reco ni:able. man" of the walls were one, scan%lines flickered and danced alon a tentative floor, the air felt as thick as water, and a solid mass of ra" cut off the far side of the room. Nearl" the entire ship was one, nearl" all of the code that defined the three%dimensional simulation. - knew that, if - hadn/t acted +uickl" to save the Nova 9eck, it probabl" wouldn/t have been there an"more, either. 0ether/s voice was soft, barel" audible. 0t first, - thou ht it was an effect of the room. #Fe wanted to tell "ou ; oodb"e./$ - saw 0ether sittin on what remained of the floor, beside 3cott/s vanitar. - crouched down and felt for a pulse before - reali:ed it wouldn/t matter. 3tran el", his e"es were open, his pulse was stron , and his bod" was warm@ but all that remained was his vanitar ? simulatin a livin human even when the ener " behind it was one. 9ead.

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- couldn/t believe - had 6ust been talkin to him. - knew 0ether and could have found some wa" to make him part of the roup, to see what perspective he could/ve added to 0ether/s +uestions. The" were now ideas that could never happen. The floor beneath us flickered more violentl", even disappearin alto ether between pulses@ one of the construct/s man" corrupted modules on the ver e of failure. 0ether now stood a couple of meters awa", starin blankl" at her fallen friend. - saw the sorrow in her e"es, as stron and real as m" own. 3he turned awa". -n that last second, the flickerin waves shifted to a circular pattern and made a hi h%pitched whine@ finall", onl" blackness la" beneath our feet. The same boo:e bottle 3cott slipped on earlier fell and shattered as if it hit somethin two meters belowB if there was a two meters below. #,h" did it have to do that2$ 0ether stepped awa", facin the ruined construct. ,hat few walls remained be an flickerin as the floor had. - moved to close 3cott/s e"elids, but m" fin ers went throu h him as if he were onl" an illusion. #,h" did it have to do that2$ the malvirai asked a ain, shaken, an r", becomin consumed a ain b" the emotion embedded in her pro rammin . ,ithout warnin and in the same instant, the walls failed, the air vanished, and ever"thin that remained of the Nova 9eck fell into blackness. The FN09( modules were isolated from the rest of the server and - could sense an increase in ener ". 0ether was formin another barrier. #-t/s m" faultK -t/s because of m" distractionK$ she furiousl" screamed into the nothin ness. - sprun to m" feet. #0e=$ 0 sharp pain shot up m" ri ht arm. 3omethin was on m" wrist ? m" descenderK

#!eturn to "our home, Mister 9auphinK M" kind can call no one friendK$ said what remained of the ood 0ether, the malvirai who wanted to see past her filth" pro rammin and discover what was pure in life, the malvirai who saw me and 3cott ? even the sentrai ? as more than tar ets, the 0ether now read" to concede defeat. The descender called to me and reminded me of m" pain. M" hand moved closer to it. -t was freedom from the dan er, - knew, freedom onl" a fool would pass up. - could feel the button with the tip of m" fin er. >eavin her to die would have been the easiest thin in the world. 5ut at what price2 - couldn/t i nore m" heart. - knew this wasn/t how it was supposed to end. The ener " patterns were chan in , focusin inward, breakin down and preparin to destro" the data space so nothin could ever be recovered. 3omethin was happenin b" her feet. her vanitar was demateriali:in . (an - allow this malvirai ? this livin creature ? to kill herself2 M" life flashed before m" e"es a ain, and ever" memor" ran hollow. ,hat would - find when - ot back2 The same life2 The same cruel world2 0 world where - let this one down, where -/d be no closer to followin m" heart, lettin shortsi htedness tear awa" at m" soul a ain and a ain2 - knew more real than -/d ever encountered absolutel" there was somethin

connectin us, some reali:ation - could not i nore. -t was all happenin too fast. - went forward with ever"thin - had and stumbled, because there was no floor where m" foot tried to o. M" stren th fled from me. M" senses were reduced to nothin . 0ll - had was pain. -t was so alien, "et it was mine. a pain - knew too well, a pain that doesn/t o awa". had entered into the burstin of the dam, an overflowin mass of ener " be"ond sense or measure, tearin me to pieces, allowin nothin to withstand it. The distance rew rapidl" between us, a wall that couldn/t be crossed, an

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impossible chasm. - focused. - pra"ed. - strained ever"thin to see m" desire throu h, seein the desire wasn/t mine at all, but a force from somewhere else sur in throu h me. - let it sur e. - let it take control of me, as if that were all - could do. ,ithout thinkin how to, - closed the distance between us like a bolt of li htnin , knowin - had power over ever" obstacle. - wrapped m" arms around her from behind and held her ti htl". ,hat flowed throu h me was a love - never knew. not like the love for a parent or a spouse, or even the self@ it was completel" new, an intense healin . 0 love that covered ever"thin . didn/t know where it came from, but - knew it was needed, that it was m" role to impart it to this lost soul. #- told "ou to leave, - am dan erousK$ #The challen e has barel" started and "ou wish to abort it2$ - replied, rememberin her own words. #,e 6ust live and we die, there doesn/t have to be an" meanin to itB 1ou said thatK The meanin of life is deathK$ ,hat flowed so stron l" throu h me was the feelin -/d had in the coffee house. The same love !askob had for me he had for this one, too. - was aware of the war ra in own heart. - knew her stru in 0ether/s heart. the feelin s of re6ection and le was m" stru le, one - could never solve on hopelessness, the readiness to concede defeat so thorou hl". - felt it all in m" m" own. - was at the e"e of her storm. - was at the e"e of m" storm. - allowed the love iven to me to flow throu h and took her pain unto m"self. - wanted to take all her pain unto m"self. #- take it backK - was wron K$ - knew it 6ust couldn/t be ri ht. - knew there was somethin we/d missedB somethin we needed to find. - wanted to find that somethin more than life itself, to make ever"thin better, to help and to be helped. 0ll m"

emotions intensified, showin me thin s - never knew, showin me 6ust how deep thin s ran, showin me - reall" did know nothin . M" heart pleaded for an answer, and an answer was received. -t was the last thin malvirai pro rammin would call for, somethin 0ether was incapable of doin but desperatel" needed to. -t was somethin could do for herB and perhaps the manliest thin - ever did. - cried. 0ether/s vanitar didn/t demateriali:e. The destructive ener " be an to decrease. #-/m sorr",$ - mana ed to sa". #-/m so sorr". &lease don/t die, too.$ There were no more words. No more words were needed. - couldn/t even see throu h m" tears when 0ether pressed her fin er a ainst m" cheek, to feel them streamin down m" face. Ior the first time, perhaps, perceivin more than the data.

Cha)ter Ten* 4anishing ;oint

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11
What is the meaning of life* #he +uestion is as philosophical as they come, not one pri0ed by those who stumble through their lives e!pecting no better from tomorrow. #he +uestion is left for philosophers, left for another day. It&s a troubling and painful +uestion, yielding strange answers and promising commitments to what we don&t see the need for. )cott hadn&t e!isted long enough to ask the +uestion. )ome say ignorance is bliss, and perhaps that&s true in its own way, but can it save a life or move ahead when the road is rough* =an ignorance be a means of achievement* In the fiction of my world, self$aware artificial intelligence is pure untainted by the shortcomings of mankind, always good and innocent deep down inside, even when the villains program them for evil. -ut real life doesn&t work like fiction1 and, even if )cott was innocent, what about Aether* 'ven now, I&m not sure of everything that happened in that moment, e!cept that I finally looked past my own needs and allowed myself to be a conduit for what someone else needed. I felt her pain. I knew her thoughts. Gone were the illusions of purity this AI was supposed to be an evil thing, it was the nature she struggled so hard to e!ceed 5 if only to confirm hatred wasn&t the only path of e!istence. I thought the +uestions could wait. I thought there would always be time. 3y answers weren&t supposed to be put to the test.
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I reali0ed then I could never go back. I could never see the world the same way again. What I saw was a transition no malvirai had ever gone though, a painful transition, like before a butterfly spreads its wings an AI breaking out of its programming. #here was a reason for me to be there. )he needed me or she would have died. In the most important way, I would have died, too. #he old destroyer was breaking apart, and the hole in Aether&s heart reflected the hole that had been in mine the whole time. #he old -randon (auphin had formed his first crack.

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11
3cott had fallen. Fe had no birth re istration. Fe never had a home address, ta' histor", or citi:en/s license. 7fficiall", 3cott never e'isted. 3cott did e'ist. - was his friend. The hori:ontal streak of blue li ht danced in the distance, carin nothin for the loss of one amai, the entiret" of 9"namic !ealit" i norant to the burden on our hearts. &eople die all the time, of course, in the natural c"cle of life and death, so wh" shouldn/t the memori:in pulse of millions of servers beat as stron l" as ever2 #1ou/re certain2$ - shifted m" focus back from the absence. 0ether had repaired herself, but hadn/t overcome her shock. Fer plans amounted to nothin . There was nowhere left for her to o. The fire was one from her e"es@ the 0ether limpsed after - won a ainst the dra on, the one who crashed throu h the ceilin and threw me the sub%space deviceB - lon ed to see that 0ether a ain, to wipe awa" ever"thin bur"in her. - nodded. #&lease.$ - held up m" ri ht arm, resistin the ur e to stare at m" wrist. ,ithout me feelin an"thin , m" descender reappeared on her arm. 0ether took a moment to stud" the small device reverentl", her fin ers feelin around the lar e red button and simulated strap. -t was what ever" ascender was le all" bound to have. a mundane, archaic%lookin device in a modern world of fantas"@ a path back to a world she could never see, e'cept throu h the lens of a camera. #,as he real2$
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0ether/s a:e drifted back to me, those dark reen e"es still tellin of the confusion -/d come to know so well. #,as he real like "ou2$ The an er of her pro rammin was one. M" attempt to abandon her was for otten. 3he came to me, whatever her method, to tr" to understand humanit". Now, what started as a notion had become a certaint". 0ether saw somethin in me back there, too. 3he be an to see me as more real than herself, and needed confirmation she e'isted at all. 0ether needed to know her sadness at 3cott/s death was real. 3he couldn/t confirm it to herself, but needed me to sa" it. - walked up and hu ed her. #1es, he was.$ Fesitatin l", her arms reached around me and returned the esture. -t was peaceful for a few seconds. Then it became uncomfortable. #Too ti ht,$ - "elped. 0ether stepped awa", e"es despairin of fear. #-/m sorr", -=$ #-t/s all ri ht, reall". 9on/t worr" about it.$ - spoke in m" heart, knowin !askob ? the real !askob ? would hear, knowin he had been watchin over us the whole time. Fow was - supposed to uide this malvirai, so self%conscious and afraid of her own actions2 needed uidance m"self. Aust as 0ether had come to trust me, - knew - had to trust himB so we both could et where we needed to o.

-/d seen the beautifull" landscaped parks of Nampa and >os 0n eles, in so%called 3tandard !ealit". the real world. - wasn/t sure -/d ever seen one in 9"namic !ealit" before and, if Re2erie ;ark was an" indication, the" were ver" popular. 0fter all, the temperature was alwa"s perfect, people never ot

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sunburnt or stun b" bees, and there were no fines awaitin those who found themselves on the wron patch of rass. Thousands of ascenders surrounded us, havin a ood time. - knew could have talked to an" one of them without 0ether mindin . To her, - was free and she was dead. - had become the observer. 0ether would stare at a tree or an animal statue for several minutes, motionless, closed off@ and - would wonder if she was reall" somewhere elseB havin for otten to pick up her vanitar. Now she was standin b" a branch%fence, starin at a nearb" baseball ame. - was relieved to see her vanitar react when - handed her somethin from one of the park/s man" vendors. 3he held the cone at e"e level and stared at it. #-ce cream,$ - said. #- do not eat.$ - raised m" cone and bit some of the mint chocolate chip off. #1ou think Im reall" eatin ri ht now2$ Now she stared at me. #3ensor" data,$ - said. #-t is still a ver" stran e idea for me.$ 7ne of the catchers started "ellin profanities and complained somethin was wron with the field. Fis friends denied an"thin was wron and told him to leave if he wanted. The shoutin match +uickl" passed and the ne't hitter went up to the plate, hittin a ball deep toward the same catcher. This ball ot awa" from him, too. #0rcher is ri ht. 0n unresponsive module is causin more.$ - let out a snicker. The catcher was whinin a ain and his teammates others to overcompensate. The ball arced two de rees to the ri ht. The faster hits distort

were in denial. Then somethin bu ed me, thou h the thou ht shouldn/t have been surprisin . #Fow did "ou know his name was 0rcher2$ - asked, takin another bite of ice cream. 0ether hesitated, as if embarrassed. #- know all their names, the aliases the" use, the locations the"/re ascended from and how lon the"/ve been here. That information is bein control software.$ #3o, "ou read all that off of me, - suppose.$ #- learned ever"thin that was available about "ou. "our re istrations, histories, associations. Most of it was open. 3ome of it was held b" simple encr"ptions. - know "our 3ocial 3ecurit" Number, (iti:en !e istration Number, passwords, and "our 9N0.$ 3tud"in m" reaction and still seemin embarrassed, she looked awa". #- ma" still be able to delete the information from m" memor" ? if "ou want.$ #-/m 6ust worried "ou could et all that. -t/s supposed to be secure.$ #Ire+uentl" - did find securit" measures that - could not see throu h, but the protected information was alwa"s duplicated in other places. encountered man" such situations in m" research, but rarel" needed to ive up on somethin that - desired.$ 0ether looked down. 0 reen drop of ice cream had 6ust landed on her ri ht foot. #This food has a time limit.$ #1ou/d better eat it before it melts.$ 0ether held up the stran e cold thin . #-f "ou think that/s ri ht, Mister = - mean, 5randon.$ 3he opened her mouth wide and bit off half of the top scoop. Hnfamiliar with chewin , she went ri ht to swallowin the hu e bite. -t transmitted continuousl" from this construct/s

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seemed eatin was another of those thin s - took for ranted@ fortunatel", no one chokes in 9!. 0 few minutes later, the malvirai had 6ust as much of the ice cream on her than in her. Even ascended, when the ice cream wasn/t real and could be cleaned with a simple reset command, it would be instinctive for people to wipe off spilled ice cream@ but 0ether had no such instinct and, thou h - knew she couldn/t taste it, the odd e'perience of eatin ice cream did seem to brin her back a little. #1our di estive and respirator" s"stems walkin ive "ou an independence from "our environment. 0t first, - couldn/t understand the concept of humans around without wires or some persistent connection. Even an unskilled person can hold their breath and sustain themselves for man" secondsB a more complete, if brief, independence. #-f this server were to be disconnected for a small fraction of a sin le second, this place as it e'ists now would not survive. Iour thousand ei ht hundred and eleven ascenders would be inconvenienced, abruptl" returnin to their ascension sites, or even wakin up in their world, disoriented but alive. Nine hundred and five amai would lose their cache memor" and event data, bein recompiled as this construct restarts, losin their memories but essentiall" survivin . Three hundred and si't" thousand s+uare meters of park would revert to its ori inal pro rammin , the blades of rass beneath m" feet would not retain the footprints or ice cream drops from one malvirai.$ - dared not speak the +uestion on m" mind, knowin what the answer would be. #7ne malvirai,$ she continued, #would have appro'imatel" one hundred and ninet" milliseconds of warnin , but it would take almost twice as much time to react. ,ould an"thin restore me2 ,ould an"thin remember me2$ #-/d remember "ou,$ - replied, puttin a hand on her shoulder.

#M" independence was an illusion, 5randon. ,h" should one want to destro" the thin s that sustain them2$ M" a:e fell to the cone - was holdin . 3omethin in it reminded me of the beach. - felt self%conscious about ever" piece of arba e -/d left on the street and ever" ounce of ener " -/d wasted over the "ears. - thou ht of all the stupid contributions -/d made to ruinin an environment it seemed humans should be protectin . 3o what if ever"one does it2 ,h" should -2 #9oesB 9oes the idea of death scare "ou2$ - asked. 0ether stared at the wet mint chocolate oop rubbin between her fin ers, still showin no comprehension it was supposed to be anno"in . #The dead do not seek,$ she replied. #The truth is not there.$ 3omeone started "ellin in the distance. the catcher be innin a new tirade, because his foot hurt or somethin . The other pla"ers were ettin tired of it and a new shoutin match be an.
#Ii'in the problem would be a simple act if "ou think it/s a ood idea.$ #Nah,$ - replied, #if the u" wants to act like a child so bad then let him.$

#0ct like a child2$ 0ether asked, face and clothes full of ice cream. couldn/t help but lau h at the iron".

The sun be an to drop in the sk". Ior the first time in a while, - saw what time it was in the real world, from a clock suspended between two olden towers. -t was 6ust past twent"%three :eroes, not +uite sunset in >os 0n eles, but probabl" in (hica o. - was sure - could/ve pulled the date from m" 3N9>, too@ but not knowin seemed better at that point. The park was ettin more crowded, with the e'ception of the pla" round. -n spite of how late it was ettin , thou h, there were man"

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children for 0ether to observe. #FiK Fow "a doin toda"2$ The reetin came from a woman in a brown 6acket, one of the man" mothers in that section of the park. - was sittin on a olden bench, 0ether was standin behind it. - was curious how 0ether mi ht handle this, as she was the one bein addressed. #Fello,$ the sh" malvirai replied simpl". #3o, are an" of them "ours2$ the mother asked, indicatin the children. #No,$ 0ether said, too bluntl"@ reali:in this ? and that her vanitar was a "oun female ? she added, #5ut -/m thinkin about havin one.$ #,ell, that/s wonderfulK The" can be a pain at times, but it/s a worthwhile pain.$ 3he held out her hand. #-/m Aulie.$ 0ether not onl" shook back, but didn/t crush Aulie/s hand in the process. #0ether,$ she replied. #Irench2$ Aulie asked, promptin me to lau h. #0nd would "ou be the future father2$ - cleared m" throat. #,ell, uhB$ 7h, if onl" she knew. #5randon is a friend counselin me on the decision,$ 0ether said. #7h,$ she replied, beamin a smile and pointin toward a 6un le "m, where a small brown%haired child was crawlin throu h a sk"tube. #,ell, that/s m" 3cott. Fe/ll be three ne't month.$ 3cott. #-t/s a ood name,$ 0ether said. - nodded a little, but didn/t sa" an"thin . #7h,$ Aulie said. #,ell, -/ll leave "ou two to "our thou hts. Ma" the ood >ord uide "ou to the ri ht decision.$ #,ait,$ 0ether said as Aulie walked awa". #- failed to answer "our

+uestion re ardin m" status.$ #-/m sorr"2$ she asked. - shared her confusion. #Fow - am doin B it was "our +uestion.$ - rolled m" e"es and si hed, wonderin if common sense reall" was available for download. #7h, how are "ou doin then, 0ether2$ The malvirai hesitated. Fer words were spoken somberl", honestl". #&erhaps better than "esterda".$ - looked at the happ" child named 3cott as he climbed out of the sk"tube. Fis mother called him and said it was time to leave. - wondered how man" 3cotts there were in the solar s"stem, or how man" 5randons. wondered if there were an" 0ethers in Irance. #,ho is the ;>ord/ she referred to2$ 0ether asked. #3he was probabl" a (hristian, a member of a reli ion. That/s 6ust what the" sa" to people.$ #0s the status +uestion was 6ust somethin people sa"2$ #-t/s a reetin , it/s bein friendl".$ #- must learn these thin s if - am to interact with others. - must ;smooth out m" rou h spots./$ #1ou2 !ou h spots2 NahB$ #0nd what of. ;he/ll be three ne't month/2 There are man" possible meanin s=$ #1ears. 1ears of a e.$ #3ince conception or birth2$ - was reminded of a +uestion - had, one she hadn/t answered. - turned on the bench to face her. #-f "ou don/t mind m" askin , how do malvirai start out2 - mean, did "ou have a mother who 6ust copied herself or some pro ram that spit "ou out2$

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0ether continued to a:e at the pla" round. #The nature of artificial intelli ence prevents simple cop"in , such an attempt would not create a second malvirai.$ - waited for her to continue, but she didn/t. #0nd2$ #/Mother/ would be a valid term to use, - suppose. Iirst% eneration malvirai can be ;spit out/ of a pro ram with the intervention of pro rammers, or e'istin specimen can utili:e a re eneration subroutine built into them. was a product of the latter process and, thou h - cannot be certain, - believe m" mother was borne of the former@ this would make me a ;second eneration,/ as some FN09( sites refer to us.$ #9o "ou remember "our mother2$ - asked. 3he hesitated. #,e are not pro rammed to remember our mothers,$ she replied evenl". - looked to her. #5ut "ou do, don/t "ou2$ #,e are not pro rammed to remember our mothers or our=$ 3ome frustration rose in her voice. - definitel" hit somethin . #The eneration process is comple' and difficult to articulate,$ she finished. - ot up and walked around to her. #1our mother or "our what2$ #- do not wish to speak about it.$ #- can see that@ but if -/m onna help "ou, "ou/re onna have to deal with these emer in emotions.$ 0ether faced me. The burden showed in her e"es. #1ou are ri ht. believe this is an emotion.$ #,hen "ou told me about "our histor", ever"thin throu h, it made "ou feel better, didn/t it2$ #1es.$ #5ut, that wasn/t part of "our plan, ri ht2 -t was somethin "ou never "ou/ve been

would have considered doin .$ #-f - had known m" interaction with "ou would o this far, - would not have be un.$ #5ut do "ou re ret it did o this far2$ 0ether hesitated, deep in thou ht, still tr"in to sort out 6ust what emotions were. #,e are not pro rammed to remember our dau hters.$ M" e"es widened. #-/m sorr", - had no idea.$ - went to put m" hand on her shoulder, but she moved awa". #,e do not remember where we came from. 0ll data that would identif" our creators are deleted when we enter autonomous mode.$ - cau ht up with her. #3o people can/t trace "ou back to "our hacker2$ #(orrect.$ - wanted to brin it out of her, to blow throu h all of her road blocks and pain. - ran ahead and stood in front of her. #,hat do "ou remember2$ 3he spun around, not wishin to face me, keepin her voice emotionless in spite of her chan in nature. #- cannot erase m" knowled e of her. - cannot isolate the memor" in m" code. More of it has become scrambled.$ #Then ma"be "ou/re not supposed to for et her.$ 0 moment of silence passed. #,ill "ou and 4eronica have offsprin 2$ she asked, lookin at the children a ain. The +uestion ave me pause, puttin focus back on m"self and one of the reatest commitments a human bein could make. #- uess. ,hen we/re both thirt"=$ - closed m" e"es and took a deep breath. #,hen we/re le al and can et a maternit" license, - suppose we mi ht.$ #0nd will the" mean somethin to "ou2$

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0 ain - hesitated, knowin

how stron l" she meant her +uestions,

to have a name.$ #,hat/s autonomous=$ - was cut off b" a soft voice. #Fere, lad". 9on/t be sad.$ Ne't to us stood a blonde%haired irl, around si' "ears old, holdin a small "ellow dais" in her hand. 3he was offerin it to the malvirai. 0ether deciphered the esture and bent down, takin the flower from the little irls/ fin ers. #3tace"K Get over hereK$ The irl promptl" ran back to her mother.

never havin thou ht seriousl" about bein a father. - thou ht about how m" father loved me, how much he loved all of us, even when we blamed him for the famil"/s problems. -t had been too lon since - showed him how much cared. #1eah. The" would mean ever"thin to me.$ 0ether finall" let me see the pain in her e"es, and hear the strain in her voice. #3he was not special to me. 3he was a tool, somethin - needed to break into !oTek. M" mother didn/t love me and - wasn/t a lovin mother. saw m" dau hter succumb to that server/s defenses and didn/t careB - knew that - could alwa"s enerate more. - suppose it/s a ood thin - never had the chance to.$ 3he stopped. - didn/t respond. #-t is ood that "ou are shocked,$ she continued. #That is my world, 5randon. That is where - come from and what - +uestion. - can tell "ou worse thin s about it, about the world where ;love/ is four meanin less letters, tattooed on random customers in automated parlors, printed over the numbers on citi:en/s licenses, shouted from holo raphic salespeople in ever" cit" of the world. 9o "ou think that that (1 malvirai knew what it meant, or did it die in its prepro rammed bla:e of lor" like the rest of them2$ 3he be an walkin a ain. #Even after - had achieved sapience, her death meant nothin to me. was onl" concerned with the fact that - remembered her, that it was a conflict with m" pro rammin . -t wasn/t until much later that -/d considered the fact that the memor" of her was ? unpleasant.$ #,hat was her name2$ 0ether turned to me. #Malvirai do not assi n identities to themselves until the" enter an autonomous mode. M" dau hter did not live lon enou h

#,hat are "ou doin 2 1ou don/t know themK ,e/re oin home ri ht nowK$
The woman tapped her descender and both of them vanished. #7ut of the mouths of babes,$ - thou ht out loud. 0ether sat there for a lon moment, lookin at the flower. 3he stood up slowl" and placed it in her silver" hair. #-s it still "our choice to accompan" me, 5randon2$ - smiled. #,h"2 9o "ou have somethin new in mind2$ #0 new +uestion.$ #1ou know where - stand, 0ether. - think, somehow, -/m su))osed to help "ou.$ #3ince we are bein interface.$ - took a second to consider what she meant. - didn/t feel an" different, thou h - was becomin aware of a sli ht headache, somethin rarel" encountered while ascended. #,as that what "ou did when the sentrai was comin B chan e m" software2$ more open, - should inform "ou that -/ve au mented the software in "our ascension booth as well as "our 3N9>

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#No, the chan es were alread" effected. - tri ered a hidden al orithm to allow "ou to better resist potential attacks. Thou h m" motives were not so selfless ori inall", - believe m" actions worked out for the better in the end. The nature of the chan es was to allow me to chan e "our s"nchroni:ation, or to unincorporate "ou from the constructs.$ 3he paused to think. #- am now concerned that m" modifications ma" not be safe for "ou. - can revert "our interface if "ou wish, or - can ive "ou more control and potentiall" enhance our mission.$ #Aust don/t do an"thin else without askin me first, oka"2$ #That is m" intention.$ 0ether/s a:e fell and - sensed her attention flowin elsewhere. turned m" head to take one last look at the pla" round. real children, real parents, amon thousands more simpl" takin in the evenin . M" own kind, - thou ht, with an eerie sense of distance. -/ll be back amon "ou soon. M" vanitar was disen a ed and the park vanished into darkness. knew we had entered another stretch of road where it would 6ust be me, the malvirai, and the +uestion.

#,h" does the a e matter2$ - leaned on one of the oak trees. Grass and weeds reached up to our waists. - could barel" see 0ether/s vanitar throu h all the smoke in the air. a result of what the last of the teena ers did to his old friends/ shelter. The" died as bitter enemies. #- uess it/s because the" haven/t lived their lives "et. There/s still a protective instinct we all 6ust relate to.$ #Then if "our "oun are not protected from their inherent behavior, the" would destro" themselves2$ #-t/s "our al orithm, there/s somethin wron with it.$ #-t appears to be functionin properl", thou h - admit that the results are surprisin .$ - stepped off from the tree and threw m" hands in the air. #IineK -f "ou/re sure it/ll et us somewhere, then run it with seven%"ear%olds a ainK$ #1ou do not have to observe it.$ #No, it/s fine, reall", o ahead.$ Ior the fourth time, - saw the wild forest revert to a neatl"%landscaped modern pla" round. 0ether disen a ed her vanitar and - put mine back in transparent mode, so the two hundred speciali:ed amai, halved in a e and doubled in number that time, wouldn/t see me, and also so the rapid shifts in

#The" aren/t pro rammed to kill each other. The events are 6ust conse+uences of the al orithm in use.$ #Then use a different al orithm, it/s hard to watch.$ #The"/re amai. No one is reall" d"in here.$ #The"/re amai pro rammed to be seven%"ear%oldsK$ #(omputer enerated characters die all the time. The 8orean ,ar simulation "ou chose included hundreds of horrible deaths.$ #The"/re amai pro rammed to be seven%"ear%oldsK$

the environment wouldn/t harm me. Throu h trial%and%error, 0ether/s al orithm had made the copied park and its simulated inhabitants a world unto itself. There was no be innin or end to recess. There were no parents, eatin , tirin , or sleepin . Each of the hundred bo"s and hundred irls had randoml"% enerated ph"sical attributes. Thankfull", as 0ether increased the number of sub6ects she also reduced the construct/s definition, in order to use its ener " more discreetl" and efficientl". Each simulation featured surfaces less detailed and matter

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interactions, such as the sound of a closin

ate, that came out less vivid or

-t was hard to determine who the first break would come from, with the lar e number of them, but ;seein / how the individual 0-s interacted with the pro ram was surprisin l" eas". - could 6ud e b" their inner thou ht processes as well as b" outward appearances and bod" lan ua e. The children started off innocentl", with curiosit" and e'citement bein the most common emotions@ naturall", without parents to reinforce discipline, several children soon found themselves with painful scrapes and even broken bones@ but respondin to ever" accident came the more charitable amon them, even when the victim wasn/t learnin from his or her falls and continued takin risks, other children the" didn/t even know would be there to ease their pain. The same patterns were showin up a ain and a ain. 9iscipline and responsibilit" were never absent on the pla" round, thou h it manifested more slowl" when the children were "oun er. 0 few do:en of the seven%"ear% olds raduall" became the leaders, or ani:in ames and instructin their friends to be more careful. Thou h some of the children refused to be instructed and went on hurtin themselves, the accident rate dropped. Iaster than the four%"ear%olds but much slower than the ten%"ear%olds, the thou ht patterns of the children started losin fle'ibilit", becomin more ri id. The first and most natural of divisions, between the bo"s and the irls, had be un. - e'pected to see the telltale pattern much sooner iven the number of children, but it seemed like forever before - spotted internal stress in one of them. #Thirt"%si',$ - dinned. #Ninet"%ei ht,$ she responded. - spotted sub6ect *E, a child obviousl" ahead of the curve on his rowth, tauntin l" dribblin the basketball in front of several other pla"ers. Fis pattern showed the potential for stress, but he was still 6ust havin harmless fun.

poorl" rendered@ it helped make the e'perience less eerie, more obvious what - was watchin wasn/t real ? even if it was supposed to somehow illustrate realit". -t was a beautiful da". 5irds chirped, warm sunli ht beamed thou h a cloudless sk", and wind fluttered throu h patches of violets, dandelions, daffodils, and the do:en other kinds of flowers in the arden. -n the e'panded pla" round, the children teased each other on swin s, pla"full" screamed to ames of ta , and taunted each other on a less%than%re ulation si:ed basketball court. Ior the first moment, it seemed like a normal, if oversi:ed and crowded, pla" round. 5ut she wasn/t there for normal ? at least not normal speed. The transparent mode of m" vanitar prevented interaction with the construct or its characters, so - could stand in the middle of the comple' and not disturb a thin @ all standard 9!%user stuff, like when showin a new ame to a friend without becomin part of it, or bein the audience for a three% dimensional movie. Thou h, usin one of the modifications 0ether made to m" software - was still able to see the interactions of the ener ", perceivin it as throu h a third e"e. 3o it be an. a cross%section of the planet Earth. Two hundred children randoml" assi ned races, ph"si+ues, personalities, habits, and ps"cholo ies@ ever" one with countless talents and flaws@ ever" one pro rammed to be human. 3o it be an. pla"time. No rules. No walls. There was little to stop what made them who the" were from risin to the surface. -f an"thin , the point was to shorten the path between their oals and actions as much as possible, even to the point where the" could manipulate their surroundin s b" sheer will ? if the" would onl" think to tr".

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#Thirt"%si' is li ht%"ears closer.$ - looked back to a short irl in fanc" clothin . 0nother irl, sub6ect 1D0, rabbed her bracelet off her arm for no other reason than to look at the prett" thin @ <J "anked it back out of her hands and started shoutin . This one%wa" match didn/t last lon or end badl", because sub6ect 1D0 didn/t have an er of her own to return@ but other matches with similar causes soon broke out. - took another peek at *E on the basketball court, be innin to lord his skills over his friends and set himself up for conflict. The first two%wa" fi ht took place onl" seconds later, between sub6ects 1CC and E, both bo"s, both with stressful thou ht patterns@ the an er of one amplified b" the other. The an er%c"cles closed and conflicts escalated. The nature of the others/ charit" now went to breakin up fi hts. - looked to a lar e arden at the ed e of the field, in which the construct alwa"s rendered perfectl" arran ed rows of flowers within a white wooden enclosure. 0lread", the kinds of flowers had be un runnin into each other and spreadin onto the rass, be"ond the warpin and faded restraint. 0 tree had even appeared onl" five meters from it. #Fere we o a ain,$ - muttered out loud. The innocence was +uickl" tainted. 0s more of the children fou ht and fou ht more a ressivel", fewer helped break them up. The earl" forms of leadership ave out to simple bull"in or defenses a ainst it, so man" returned to their carefree wa"s without an"one comin to their aid when the" hurt themselvesB and the" too became stressful. The ender division was almost complete and new divisions were formin throu h their assi ned races, ph"si+ues, personalities, habits, and ps"cholo ies. 0ether/s prediction seemed to be ri ht. increasin the number of sub6ects made the ;fracturin / more pronounced. The twent"%five children in the second test, the same a e, hadn/t divided as much or as +uickl" as the two%hundred were then.

0s the hundred%and%ninet"%nine were then. 0s sub6ect *E/s e o continued to row, so did the rules he was makin on ;his/ basketball court. 3ub6ect 1<0 and a few others decided the" didn/t like the rules, which *E and his friends took as a challen e. This division ended with a stone bein slammed into 1<0/s skull. There was movement under m" feet and around m" pantle s, from the rass and weeds rowin so rapidl". The metal in the pla" round e+uipment showed si ns of rust, the paint was wearin , and the cheaper carbon%fiber had be un crackin . Ilowers from the now%wild arden shot up halfwa" throu h the clearin ? what could still be called a ;clearin ./ Throu h it all, thou h, the children weren/t a in a sin le second. The violence abruptl" died down, briefl", as the emer in social order stabili:ed. 0s the new leaders took time to solidif" their power rather than e'pand it, a few of the earlier ones encoura ed the others to pla" a ain. 0bout two%do:en re6ected societ" alto ether to pla" in the trees@ one findin his wa" to a ver" hi h and weak branch@ - saw him suddenl" fall and vanish in mid%air. The second death wasn/t b" violence, but carelessness. The stabilit" ended in the blink of an e"e. The" had discovered their latent abilit" to create ob6ects. 6ust heavier rocks at first, but it was onl" a matter of time before one learned to con6ure a sword. 3oon, the man" roups were e'ercisin the abilit" for both ood and evil. The weakenin divisions were stren thened and what power bases seven%"ear%olds can muster be an to shift a ain. The bravest of the old leaders continued to bar ain for peace, even causin a few of the evil to become ood@ but some of the ood became evil to take their place@ and the evil onl" seemed to increase in number and intensit". 1EE sub6ects remained. Ilowers min led with rass and weeds as far as - could see. -n the distance, the trees shifted and advanced more fre+uentl". 4er" little of the

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pla" round/s e+uipment remained usable, so the children tau ht themselves to construct new thin s, or learned to pla" new ames with what the" had. The c"cle between war and peace became more pronounced, with len thenin periods of war interspersed with shortenin periods of peace. 1D1 sub6ects remained. 0ether continued to increase the ener " of the construct, t"in more and more processin power into it. -t wasn/t so much an increase in speed as a shortenin of the distance between present and future. onl" microns between the wa"s of the children/s hearts and the actions the" would demonstrate. The trees were dancin a ain, reflectin the shortened distance of time. the old dropped seeds for the new to sprout, one became two and the first died, two became seven and the two died, alwa"s in new positions, carin nothin for the border between forest and pla" round, a life%death c"cle of centuries reduced to half%seconds. 3uch was the influence of the malvirai, seein thin s not as the" are but as the" will be, for better or for worse. -f it was in the children/s hearts to pla" hopscotch, no bedtime would stop them@ to climb trees, no ravit" would deter them@ to build a rand fort, no limits would stop their in enuit". -f it was in the children/s hearts to take what the" wanted from another at an" cost, this too would find its lo ical conclusion without dela". C0 sub6ects remained. The plummetin population caused the divisions to reverse and the violence to find fewer willin tar ets, but the overridin reed continued its rampa e. Groups with fewer members mer ed with others, re ainin stren th in numbers, resumin their versions of ;6ustice/ for the fall of their comrades. Those who left the societ" merel" bickered amon st themselves. The pla" round had been a ed to dust. The clearin was indistin uishable from the forest surroundin it. 2< sub6ects remained. 4er" little of the ori inal innocence remained amon the children.

Ever" one of them had stress infiltratin

their ever" thou ht, and this no survivors. - observed

e'periment looked like another rout, producin

somethin 0ether and - hadn/t been able to identif". sub6ects who disappear ? die ? without cause. 5ecause the amai did not a e and were onl" pro rammed to ;die/ b" severe in6uries, we could not understand wh" the pro ram was decidin the" were dead. - helped 0ether write her al orithm and watched its ever" terrible result. -t was drainin the two of us. - asked in m" heart for !askob to help, to lead us to the answers we needed, before some reat computer in the sk" decided we were dead, too. #Aust cancel it 0ether, the"/re 6ust killin each other a ain.$ #No, sub6ect sevent"%seven is e'hibitin before.$ -n a flash - isolated the amai/s thou hts, easier now since there weren/t so man" patterns, and not onl" had all of OO/s stress vanished, but somethin was actuall" absorbin it from other amai she interacted with@ includin , surprisin l", the once%violent sub6ect *E. Nine sub6ects remained. 3even. Iive. Iour. - couldn/t believe m" three e"es. four had not died. 3ub6ects J<, OO, *O, and *E showed no si ns the" were oin to die. Two irls and two bo"s, each a different race, two with badl" tainted histories, now shared somethin in common, somethin that overrode their reed and pre6udice and restored them to a state of innocence. #-t must be some evolutionar" thin , a nirvana or somethin ,$ dinned. 0ether responded b" further rampin up the power. Trees and flowers, the whole pro ress of nature, darted around me in the blink of an e"e. Ior the four survivors, the wa" of their hearts became their will, and their will their realit", with no resistance at all. The" built a shelter, then the wood rotted, so a pattern - haven/t seen

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the" built another with steel, which rusted, so the" carved stone, and it cracked and withered awa". The" tamed nature and nature fou ht back, but the" found balances and continued to pro ress, to build more and more impressive structures. There was no war. The" didn/t claim what another had taken or take what another had claimed. 0ether kept e'pandin the boundaries of the construct, feedin it more ener ", but what drove them forward did not break. #9on/t implode the serverK$ #There is no dan er,$ came the dis6ointed response, from a malvirai concentratin on a thousand overclocked processes. Ener " screamed throu h red%linin FN09( connectors, and 0ether could direct no more into them. The pro ress of nature was a blur. 3everal minutes would pass before the malvirai would be satisfied, before she would concede. Even iven eternit", what drove the four would not break. Iinall", the ener " died down and the construct ceased. Three of the suspended amai sat at a table outside of their lar e cabin, made of some almost indestructible olden%pinkish material that could be either transparent or opa+ue, and the fourth was e'plorin the forest on some fl"in contraption. #,ell, looks like "ou ot results.$ #-t will take me a moment to ree'amine the data.$ - left 0ether to her data and did some e'plorin of m" own. - walked up to the three nearb", sittin and en6o"in each others/ compan", drinkin a sweet%smellin tea. The" appeared to be in the middle of some kind of card ame, thou h - saw no improvised poker chips or wa" to keep score. - peered into their e"es and saw nothin , but the looks on their faces spoke volumes. The troubles of before, those even caused b" themselves, had been lon for otten. The" had created, or perhaps succumbed to, a world of friendship and peace. ,here before there were members of four opposed roups, there

was now onl" one driven b" mutual understandin . The ceilin and most of the walls were transparent, so sunli ht filled the house. The construction was nothin short of a work of art, functional "et e'pressive of their collective ima ination. 0 door led into a vast arden, featurin bricked paths leadin throu h countless kinds of flowers, most of which - didn/t even reco ni:e. - could tell the arden was well cared for, loved. There was some wonderful +ualit" to the children and - wanted to see more of it, to interact with it. #0ether, could "ou start the construct a ain, put it into normal time2 want to talk to them.$ #1es. Aust ive me time to reestablish its controls.$ #,aitK - uess the" have no concept of rown%ups, ri ht2 (an "ou look up m" old records and make m" vanitar=$ The construct suddenl" shimmered around me and its definition was restored to normal, even hi her than normal. The arden that surrounded me, the flowers that cau ht m" e"e, became spectacular. ever" shade of color, ever" movement in the wind, ever" droplet of water on the petals. #There is a problem.$ #,ha ? ,hat2$ - replied breathlessl". #- cannot resume e'ecution of the pro ram. - cannot find a cause, it 6ust won/t continue.$ - looked back desperatel" to the three children. #- can attempt more drastic measures, but the" ma" reset the construct to its ori inal state.$ #NoK$ - immediatel" shouted, more vi orousl" than - meant to. #No, it/s fine,$ - repeated, feelin as if -/d hit some barrier - couldn/t cross, tried some step - wasn/t meant to take. ,ith a thou ht, - relocated m"self near the fourth amai, her face

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radiant, like the others, with a look of contentment and peace. 3he rode on what looked like a pair of hoverin skis, with nothin restrainin her hands or feet, with nothin visible seemin to propel them. This one had probabl" mapped out ever" tree and brook within a hundred kilometers of her home, thou ht, and as nature ? or rather, the pro ram ? shifted them around, she would re%e'plore and refresh the map in her e'plorator" mind. - returned to the cabin on foot, a ain thinkin of how -/d never seen a forest in the real world. The whole place was bathed in some reddish low, like a sunset without the shadows. - thou ht to look up. #7h, tell me thats wh" "ou stopped it,$ - said, seein a bloated sun above the forest canop"@ a sun on its wa" to becomin wondered if so much persistence was a ood thin . &ast a small break in the trees - reached the ed e of the arden, where it overlapped with the ed e of the forest. -n the distance la" the cabin and the form of a certain silver"%haired woman. #9id "ou find out an"thin 2$ - asked as - neared her. 3he didn/t move or respond. #0ether2$ Fer vanitar stood in the flowers several meters from the cabin. 0ether had left it with a curious look on her face, lookin down to her left hand and the "ellow dais", the one the child 3tace" had iven her. -n her ri ht hand she held a violet%red flower, one of the kinds - didn/t reco ni:e, plucked from nearb" her feet. #,hat could be so interestin about a flower that would make "ou leave in such a hurr"2$ - plucked the dais" from her rip, considerin how the kindness of the irl had made the flower special, so ma"be it represented to 0ether the a red iant and swallowin its planets. - was lad to see 0ether/s enthusiasm return, but

innocence she wanted to know, that which no malvirai was ever meant to know. - carefull" put the flower back in her hand, wonderin where she was and what she was thinkin . The bree:e blew throu h her hair, milk"%white "et shimmerin throu h it. Fow man" vanitars have - seen ? ascenders/ vanitars ? with cra:" colors and dumb desi ns in their hairB "et it alwa"s feels like normal real% life hair. ,h" did - e'pect "ours to feel like some kind of doll/s2 The flowers around our feet swa"ed to the bree:e, thou h the construct was suspended and nothin should have moved. - remembered what !askob said. The wind is e2en here in Dynamic Reality3 It (lows as surely as it does in the real world3 #5eautiful "et deadl",$ - remarked to m"self, rememberin somethin - once heard about malvirai, how an" with a vanitar would alwa"s be some or eous woman or hideous monster. ,ho would pro ram artificial intelli ence to be evil2 (ode them for no other purpose than to wreak havoc on networks2 Fow often do the" trul" come to life like this, reali:in the chains placed on them2 Fow often do the" fail to seek help and fail alto ether, becomin worse and killin , even bein killed without reason2 - decided the hackers who create malvirai were the real monsters. - ran m" fin er down her cheek and was lad the e'pression left on her face showed no pain, but still wondered how deep her an er ran, how lon it would be before she was trul" out%of%the%woods. #5eautiful "et deadl", 6ust like 9"namic !ealit".$ - sat on the round, feelin like such a small speck in the rand scheme of thin s. - live m" life and have m" problems, thin s - care about, habitsB and in the tones of precious silver, and - dared to run m" hand

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ma"be I am biased. 5ut what do m" problems amount to, an"wa"2 ,hether m" da" is ood or bad, someone else is havin a reat da". M" worst da" was someone else/s best and m" best da" was someone else/s worstB ,hat does an" of it mean2 9oes it mean an"thin that, at ever" moment, flowers are bloomin somewhere, and the sun is risin on a crisp summer da", and children are lookin at the world for the first time2 #-s that what "ou are, 0ether2$ - said into the wind, the onl" livin thin that mi ht have been listenin . #0re "ou a child learnin how to walk2 0re "our kind what mine have been leadin up to over all the centuries2 9id all our technolo " and ima ination create a new livin race to co%e'ist or replace us2 0re "ou the ne't sta e of evolution, the product of thousands of "ears of life on Earth2$ 0 notion came to me. - reall" didn/t matter at all. - was alone and helpless in that construct, rel"in on a virus that mi ht never return. 0n an er be an to well up in me, and - didn/t reco ni:e it for what it was. - let the an er in. #5ut nature did the 6ob for us, didn/t it2$ - continued, shoutin . #Aust like it alwa"s does. "ou become real and we don/t even know howK -t/s like nature knows we/re poisonin it and wants to kick us outK$ - returned to m" feet and left 0ether/s unhearin vanitar, pacin toward the three children be"ond the ed e of the arden. #5ut "ou/re not so special, are "ou2 1ou/re 6ust a tin" speck of nothin like the rest of us, wonderin what makes these kiddies tick, what makes them so perfect over the hundred% and%ninet"%si' who died.$ - reached the table and saw the contented look on their faces@ somethin in them tempered m" an er and made me feel foolish for it. M" voice fell to a whisper. #-t/s like there/s some chasm we can/t cross, some bi piece of the pu::le we need.$ M" e"es were drawn to the container of tea in

the hands of sub6ect *E, the tall one who had once controlled the basketball court, who had been amon the first to strike lethal blows, but who now allowed all of that to remain in the past ? to not be his present and future. dipped m" fin er in the li+uid. 0 white ener " pulsed from m" fin er and the li+uid vanished, 6ust as an" suspended matter would have reacted to me. #1ou/re not pro rammed to be thirst"K ,h" do "ou drink tea an"wa"2$ - shouted, a ain seein the door slam in m" face, allowin it to feed m" fur". #- 6ust wanted to talk to "ou, would that be so bad2 Ma"be "ou all wouldn/t be so carefree if "ou had to hold =o(s or pa" taxes, if "ou got sick once in a while, if a meteor landed on "our prett" little houseK No,$ - thou ht. #1ou/d 6ust make a palace out of the meteorK #0nd "ouB$ - marched back into the arden, to 0ether/s vanitar, still suspended with the same curious look. #3ame oes for "ouK 1ou didn/t have to row up and put up with arba e, "ou 6ust :ip throu h our computers and do whatever "ou want, usin resources and stealin ener " human bein s worked hard forB as if "ou have some ri ht to itK 1ou/re ri ht, "ou do perceive too little, "ou need to perceive how eas" "ou=$ - noticed m" descender on her arm. #0nd "ou think "ou can 6ust bar e in and rab mice to run throu h "our ma:e2$ M" heart screamed ;No,/ but m" mind screamed ;1es./ - saw throu h m" third%e"e the descender linkin outside of the construct, how it was connected to 0ether/s hollow vanitar. - considered takin it back, considered she wouldn/t return or care. Given another moment, - ma" have actuall" done it, but 0ether ? her livin code ? returned then and - saw her reconnect. Fer vanitar took a step backward. #5randon2$ >ike a mira e, m" an r" thou hts suddenl" abandoned me, leavin me with memories that felt forei n and a fresh resentment of m"self.

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5efore - could apolo i:e, 0ether became e'cited and rabbed me b" the shoulders. #5randon, - believe that "our people have become the victims of a hoa'K$ - saw somethin then that replaced m" an'iet" with hope, 6o", and encoura ement@ that ave me the confidence to know ever"thin was all ri ht, and that there was alwa"s a wa" forward, whether we could see it or not. ,hat - saw was as alive as it was impossible, a ain. - saw the fire had returned to her e"es.

12

PART|THREE

Aether was, in many ways, a programmer. )he lived in a world built on code and the systems that process it, and she used those same systems to 5 well 5 think. Aether applied whatever knowledge she could @code& to the goal of producing the emotion of that girl, that which felt whole and worthwhile. #he heart of a child is trusting and unassuming1 it hasn&t been taught the vices and inherited the divisions of parents and societies1 it hasn&t been taught how to hate or how to cover it up. #he heart of a child does not hide behind walls, because the walls are not formed. 'ventually, all children must learn to protect what&s theirs, because they have learned greed, and that those who are e!perienced with it will take everything they can. -ut what if greed went away* Gone is money, pride, and age$ old pre/udices, the lines between haves and have$nots. Gone is the need to protect and the desire to hoard. 'veryone becomes weak and unguarded1 but, in greed&s absence, who would deceive or steal* It&s an ideal, of course, impossible on 'arth1 but Aether was a child, she&d never learned that. Always with us are those who try to bring as much as possible under their control, but they are limited creatures, with limited understanding like the rest of us. No one can e!pect to e!plain everything when they understand nothing, they will be proven wrong eventually1 but leaders of all kinds find it easier to enforce their

Cha)ter "le2en* +ife9 "x)loration9 and :a))iness > cce)t no %u(stitutes

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misunderstandings as truth, so those who see another way become the enemy and must be discredited. #he pride of some inhibits the

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progress of all. Greed creates enemies where there were none. What Aether saw in that flower led her to broaden her +uestion, to look beyond the nature of the present and remember one can&t understand an entire program by e!amining a single line of code. I learned a truth worth having today must be worth keeping tomorrow, something truly absolute would truly apply everywhere.

12
,hat would normall" have taken several minutes flew b" in a few seconds. -n the hei htened state of a data%cloud, without the filterin of a vanitar or restraint of a control s"stem, - mana ed to catch some of what 0ether was hackin around. H>T-M0TE (7&1!-GFT 21JC 3TEE>G!03B 7M> ,0!N-NG. HN0HTF7!-LE9 9H&>-(B TF0N8 17H I7! H3-NG 1HTB 5E 3H!E T7 !EG-3TE! B TF-3 EM&E!-EN(E -3 5!7HGFT T7B The million ;consumer information/ messa es cut%off and faded as +uickl" as the" came, overlappin with error messa es for ad%windows 0ether wasn/t allowin the time to load. #1our talents mi ht come in hand" on movie ni ht. The" don/t usuall" let "ou :ip b" these thin s, "ou know.$ #M" ob6ective is not entertainment. This is serious.$ #-/m 6ust sa"in B$ The feature presentation be an streamin into m" senses. 0 lush rainforest surrounded me, filled with a thick bed of freakishl" lar e plants. The sun was settin in the west, and lon shadows were cast amon the little li ht penetratin the canop". 0 male announcer started. #-t is five thousand "ears 5efore the (ommon Era, a t"pical evenin in Terre Faute, -ndiana. Millennia before the first humans settled in North 0merica, its bustlin rainforests supported man" uni+ue forms of plant and animal life.$ The view chan ed to show detail on

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plants and insects, then snakes, monke"s, and li:ards, finall" showin a lar e dinosaur, casuall" eatin a supper of plants. The ima in panned up to reveal somethin advancin in the distance. #5ut, on the hori:on looms its final rainstormB the be innin of what has been called the $o))lein "2ent, a combination of rains and floods that would forever chan e the face of the Earth.$ 0 thick shower of rain surrounded me, blockin out the sunli ht above and submer in the round below. #The Midwest used to be a 6un le. - knew that, so what2$ #8eep watchin .$ The view ot hi her and - was in space, seein the fo %like precipitation fill the sk" between the tropics of (ancer and (apricorn. #The lobal catastrophe caused the e'tinction of EO percent of Earth/s species. -n onl" two weeks, a human population of several million was reduced to less than a hundred. The t"pes of birds, mammals, and dinosaurs were=$ #M" interest concerns the dinosaurs of "our world. The" no lon er e'ist, correct2$ #7f course notB unless "ou see a skeleton in a museum or somethin .$ #- am aware that it was a ;stupid +uestion,/ however, - cannot determine the nature of their e'tinction.$ #0 flood, mankind, climate chan eB a lot of thin s. 0ll the data sa"s that, 0ether.$ 3econds passed before she responded. #There is another documentar" which - have buffered.$ The ima in chan ed to show a volcano billowin out smoke, boilin lava pourin out of its sides. 0 different announcer, another male with a deeper and more intense voice, cut%on in the middle of a sentence. #= in ash, blockin out crucial sunli ht and raisin the (7
2

atmosphere.$ The view chan ed to some "oun ste osaurs herdin around their mother, 6ust l"in in the soot, covered in it. #Ferbivores could no lon er sustain themselves and,$ it cut to a view of a sabre%toothed ti er, #carnivores became increasin l" desperate for meat. Iew species of dinosaur would survive into the ne't era.$ Now - was in a laborator". #0 cache of fossils unearthed last "ear in northwestern (hina are teachin scientists new thin s of the events of CE,000 "ears a o.$ The room dimmed and the ima e of a man lit up in front of me, a raphic identified him as an -ra+i paleontolo ist. #-t was a lobal catastrophe unlike an"thin else in the histor" of the planet, - mean, 6ust ima ine a=$ The data stopped. #There is a discrepanc".$ #The second one has to be more than fift" "ears old.$ #The a e of the production is irrelevant. Iacts do not chan e.$ #,hat facts2 The" used to think volcanoes killed the dinosaurs2$
#The" used to state that volcanoes killed the dinosaurs. -t was presented as a fact and a constant. (onstants do not chan e, "et, one centur" a o=$

0ether went silent for a second. Fer presence seemed to fade. #The facts stated,$ she continued, #that dinosaurs hadn/t e'isted for over si't"%five million "ears, "et these facts have been replaced.$ #3i't"%five million "ears2 0ether, the planet isn/t even that oldK$ #-sn/t it2 ,hat will prevent the dates chan in a ain2 - found three hundred and si' dates iven for a mass%e'tinction reducin or eliminatin dinosaurs@ and, if - add those which fail to cite evidence, the number e'ceeds two thousand.$ #-t/s science,$ - replied. #0s we discover more our theories chan e, the" et more accurate.$ #Evidence does not chan e. -t cannot support one theor" at one time

levels in Earth/s

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and then counter it at another.$ #The" et better at lookin at evidence.$ #Man" modern theories were e'tant before the" were accepted, and even with discovered evidence there is dela". ,h" should - rel" an" more on the certainties of toda" when the" could=$ #,hen the" could what2 5e reinterpreted a ain2$ 3he didn/t respond. Fer presence faded a ain. #0ether, what is it "ou/re doin 2 1ou seem to be a million kilometers awa".$ The documentar" fi::led out and m" senses were cleared. #Those +uestions are no lon er relevant. - have encountered a reater problem.$ #Mind lettin me in on it2 - mean, two seconds a o "ou had me on this fossil%datin trip and "ou/re alread" callin it off2$ #The histor" of this sin le planet has been superseded b" a +uestion lar er in scope. - attempted to ascertain the wa" in which the universe ? "our ph"sical one ? came into bein .$ #,hat2 Now "ou/re oin to +uestion the 5i 5an , too2$ #That sin le event is also irrelevant. - simpl" attempted to appl" m" knowled e of "our universe to return it to its ori inal state and work forward from there, to e'amine the events leadin to the 5i 5an . There does not appear to be a consensus amon the researchers of science, e'cept to sa" that the laws of ph"sics did not appl".$ #0ether, no offense, but "ou/re not even a ph"sical bein . 1ou can barel" comprehend the world outside of 9! and "ou/re tr"in to find out how it all ? how ever"thin ? be an2$ #-s that limitation causin me to make an error in 6ud ment2$ #No, it/s 6ustB - don/t know, o ahead.$

#Ever"thin that e'ists must have an ori in ? a cause. 1ou had parents, who in turn had parents and so on, each less evolved b" a small measure, throu h the point at which "our ancestors were no lon er human and further back to sin le%celled or anisms, who themselves were the product of some conver ence of matter and ener ". That matter and ener ", ever"thin that "our planet and sun is built on, were also the product of conver ences ? the interaction of e'ternal forces. Eventuall", the entire universe must become sub6ect to some form of cause and effect. Even if - consider the theories that another universe preceded this current one, then - must define the ori in of the previous universe, as the issue of ori in is then inherited b" it.$ #,ell, what ;ori inal state/ are "ou talkin about then2$ #The onl" state that does not re+uire an ori in. non%e'istence, a condition where ener " is completel" absent.$ - had no repl". #- will attempt an analo ",$ she dinned. #9o "ou know the date on which 9"namic !ealit" was introduced to the public2$ #HhhhB sometime in the fifties, - uess.$
#Man" thousands of articles, at least, state that it was 9ecember 11, 21<*.$

#7h, - uess no one heard about it then.$ #- also found <2E articles in m" brief search that state the wron date or "ear. Fuman error2$ #Fuman la:iness, probabl". -f there/s so much proof it was one date, the" should have been able to 6ust look it up, to verif" it.$ #5ut the matter is not so simple with the ori in of "our universe.$ #No, we can/t look up old news articles like we could with 21<*. 7bviousl", no one was around to record the be innin of the universe or post the video.$ #5ut the events of 21<* occurred before "our life be an. 1ou were not

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present as a first%hand witness. -f - had said that several thousand articles state that the date was 9ecember 10, would "ou have believed me2 Fow do "ou know - was tellin the truth the first time2$ #- uess -/d 6ust look it up m"self.$ #5ut would "ou have such an inclination2$ #- uess not. - wouldn/t care if it was fort" "ears or four hundred "ears a o. -t 6ust doesn/t effect m" life.$ #The histor" of 9"namic !ealit" is well documented and - am able to move backwards throu h it. - can e'amine the data from before it e'isted, from before FN09( allowed m" t"pe of artificial intelli ence to e'ist, from before the a e of the internet or the theories of data%processin . - can learn that, four hundred "ears a o, none of the buildin blocks of m" universe e'isted. The raw materials to build and the ener " to power it all re+uired an outside force ? human bein s ? to brin them out of their entrop" and fashion them into what the" are. Fuman bein s are also needed to maintain m" universe@ without them, that which m" universe is built on would raduall" return to a state of entrop". M" universe came from "our universe, as "ours ma" have come from a still% reater one. ,hat - seek to know is. who built the builders, and who built them, continuin backwards until reachin a state which was not preceded b" another.$ #,hat makes "ou think our universe was ;built/ like "ours2 0re "ou sa"in science can prove the e'istence of God2$ 0ether let the +uestion lin er for a moment. #Natural laws break down when e'aminin an event with as much ener " as the 5i 5an . Even as the ener " that mankind can harness increases, and more ener " can reveal more truth, an event on the scale of the 5i 5an remains far out of "our reach. Therefore, how are modern ? limited ? natural laws e'pected to e'plain ever"thin 2 -n the ori inal state that the" demand, matter could not have been

acted on b" forces over time, because none of the three e'isted. No ener " of an" kind could have e'isted. Theoreticall", no events could ever occur. 0lmost ninet" trillion (1 of processin power could not account for the formation of a sin le electron, much less an entire universe. - have concluded that either some reater universe e'ists, or that the e'istence of an"thin is impossible.$ - be an to feel disoriented. M" headache became worse. #3eriousl"2 Ghosts and spirits and all that supernatural stuff2$
#3upernatural. above, be"ond, in e'cess of nature. -f the meanin of life cannot be found in nature, then - must determine if the answer lies be"ond it.$

3uddenl", - couldn/t communicate an"more. M" disorientation

ot

worse. -t seemed m" real bod" could onl" take so much data%cloud mode, and - was returned to m" vanitar, receivin its familiar sensor" feedback. - could see 0ether/s face a ain. - could see, in spite of all her dead ends, she was happ" for the challen e. 3omethin 4eronica. - could tell 0ether/s mind was racin , tr"in to comprehend a la"er of universe even more alien to it than m" own. The ideas were cra:", but so was m" life before - walked into &aciTek. 7nce she confirmed m" bod"/s readin s were returnin to normal, she led the wa" into the ne't le of our 6ourne", seekin the second universe up from hers. about the emotion reminded me of

0fter a half%hour viewin nothin but an oriental ru hun on the wall, the short woman with blonde hair returned to the room the roundtem was in. 3he a:ed blissfull" into the monitor.

#The >ad" has consulted with her spirits and has a reed to speak with "ou.$

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#Good,$ - said. #,ill "ou transfer us to >ad" 8ira now or should we call back later2$ #3he prefers to be called ;The >ad",/$ she replied, tension slippin into her features. #&lease do not use her proper name unless invited to.$ #-/m sorr", - didn/t mean to offend "ou.$ 3he waved her hand. #0ll is for iven. The >ad" does not believe in keepin a roundtem in her chambers@ this is the onl" electronic contact to the outside, in fact. 3he will arrive here momentaril". 5lessed be.$ The woman ot up and left, a ain leavin the sound and ima e turned on. Even from outside the room we could hear her ems clatterin as she walked. 0ether turned off the ima e from our end. #9o all inter%human communications take this lon to establish2$ #1ou remember all that stuff about spiritual people turnin awa" from worldl" thin s. This roup 6ust likes to isolate themselves a little more, uess.$ ,ishin to keep me in m" vanitar, 0ether had found another seldom% used central access point and established a flurr" of links, bouncin ideas off of me the whole time. 0fter anal"sis of ever" reli ious s"stem with at least 100,000 members, we tapped into the videos and rundowns of their churches and atherin s and meetin s and whatever else, tr"in to di into the lifest"les of the believers. The" e'hibited the same patterns of stress, an er, and reed as ever"one else@ the situation made worse, if an"thin , b" their belief deities were sanctionin it. - looked closel" at the data and doubted reli ion wouldn/t be another dead end. The woman we chose to contact first appeared much older than e'pected, but still had a stron "outhful low. 5etween the hundreds of lar e ems worked into her clothin and her braided dark hair, reachin almost to her feet, it seemed a miracle she could move at all without trippin over

herself. The priestess stared at the screen when she entered the room, lookin as if she/d never seen a roundtem before. 3he started a little when we suddenl" appeared on it. #Greetin s, seekers of truth,$ she said, lookin somethin to sit on. behind her for

#Thank "ou for speakin with us,$ - said. #,e/re sorr" to take up "our time.$
#There is alwa"s time for enli htenment. ,hat is it "ou wish to ask2$ #;The >ad",/ we wish to know the meanin of life,$ 0ether said, her vanitar in another chair to m" left. #&lease, "ou ma" call me >ad" 8ira.$ #&ro ressK$ 0ether dinned to me. #Aust don/t take this h"per%spiritual stuff too seriousl",$ - replied. 8ira moved her arms when she talked, in the habit of emphasi:in bod" lan ua e and talkin in m"stical tones. #>ife is what "ou make it out to be, we must all find our own uni+ue path to the divine.$ #To the real God2$ 0ether asked. 8ira looked at the monitor and spoke as if revealin obvious. #1ou are God.$ 3he noticed me lookin toward the perple'ed malvirai and added, #both of "ou are God. - am God, all people ? all things are God.$ Thou h we alread" knew about the belief in humans as co%creators, actuall" hearin someone speak to it, and so personall", still ave me a little shock. 0ether cut strai ht to the point. #0 sin ular God is commonl" believed to be infinite and eternal. - am neither. -f - and humanit" took part in creatin all that is, wh" is the knowled e so difficult to find2$ #That "ou seek the knowled e is an e'pression of "our divine nature. 1ou were naturall" oriented and e+uipped to seek "our path.$ somethin

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#To worship m"self2$ #7nl" "ou can 6ud e "ou, onl" "ou know what path "ou must take.$ #0nd what if - choose an evil path2$ 0ether asked, more literall" than 8ira reali:ed. #Evil is an illusion. 1es, people lose their wa" and misinterpret their lives@ but all nature is without flaw, all thin s are ood.$ 0ether reflected on 8ira/s words for a moment, wonderin whether her ori inal nature and her emer in one could both be ri ht. #Hm, >ad" 8ira,$ - asked, #would that include criminals. serial killers, rapistsB all the bad stuff in nature, likeB wolves huntin defenseless deer2$ 8ira chuckled softl". #1ou/d better not sa" that around Ma"e, the woman who talked with "ou before. 3he/s a reincarnated wolf, it was her natural role to keep thin s in balance. ,olves do not kill out of malice, but because it is their purpose. -t is the circle of life, all their spiritual ener " oes elsewhere. M" sister was a seal and she would a ree with me. - m"self am a reincarnated Martian settler. - even commune with the spirit of a (elestial whose name cannot pronounce with a human ton ue. The interconnectedness of us all has no limits.$ #0 (elestial2$ - asked. #1ou mean "ou believe in 9estin" 7f 7rdered Mankind, too2$ #0ll reli ions are validB wellB$ 3he stopped to think. #9estin" is too science%oriented to call itself a reli ion, so we/ll sa" all beliefs are valid. 3ome of us=$ #3o predators are not evil,$ 0ether interrupted. #The" are onl" fulfillin their dut" to an interconnected universe2$ #1es.$ #0nd what of the serial killers and rapists 5randon spoke about2$ #,ellB$

#7r the malvirai2$ 8ira blinked. #9o malvirai live2$ - leaned forward. #Give us a second, please.$ - turned the sound and ima in off, leavin the priestess to tune herself out and chant somethin to our hold screen. #&eople don/t have an" idea malvirai become self%aware. 0nd if "ou/re not careful what "ou tell that one, "ou/ll probabl" create a new reli ion b" accident.$ #- believe her ar uments are flawed. - was neither divine nor ood, how could - have participated in the creation of what alread" e'isted2$ #Ma"be, if we/re reincarnated, we were there at the be innin of the universe.$ #0nd for what purpose would we now live as limited creatures, constantl" lost and fra mented in our divine% ood state2 ,ould this loss of power have been a conse+uence of an error, or a wa" to seek eternal humilit" before a reater presence2$ - shru ed m" shoulders. 0ether saw it, but didn/t understand. #-t means - don/t know,$ - e'plained. #5od" lan ua e is not amon m" stren ths, 5randon@ but, if The >ad" is an" indication, - believe that - should renew m" stud" of it as we make more contacts with "our kind.$ #-f there is a difference between our kinds,$ - remarked as 0ether re% activated the link. #- have another +uestion,$ 0ether said. #Tell me wh" "ou wear those ems, do the" amplif" "our spirit2$ 8ira looked up and returned her attention to us. #,ell, wh" do "ou wear that flower2$ 3ure enou h, 0ether had returned the small "ellow dais" to the hair of

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her vanitar, adoptin it as a part of her emer in identit", a visual si n of where she/d been on the road we were followin . #-t was a ift from a friend. 0 friend who, - believe, e'hibited that which is most important in life.$ #>ove2$ The word ave me confidence we were on the ri ht path, that we were ettin closer to where we needed to o. Ma"be >ad" 8ira was weird, but she seemed to be sa"in 6ust what - needed to hear. 0ether reacted differentl", unsettled b" the ver" thin s - found comfortin . 7ut of her limited understandin of bod" lan ua e, she leaned forward in her chair and replied cooll". #Not the love a wolf has for its pre".$ 0ether terminated the connection.

lar e scar which was its most noticeable feature. -f the man was capable of love, he ave no si n of it. -f an"thin , he would probabl" have considered love the enem". #1ou wouldn/t be pullin a vanitar%trick on me, ri ht2 - mean, "ou are white, aren/t "ou2$ #,h" does that matter2$ - stepped on 0ether/s +uestion. #3o, if people are 0frican or 0sian or have an" non%white ancestors, the" can/t o to heaven2$ #-t/s not natural,$ he said. Then, pausin to think more, he added, #don/t know, ma"be the" o to another heavenB as lon as - don/t have to look at them.$ 0s witt" as -/m sure 0ether/s repl" would have been, - 6ust had to kill the connection. #-f heaven is full of people like him, - don/t know how it could be an"

The an r" man paused and looked sternl" at the roundtem ? at us, thinkin the +uestion ridiculous. Iinall", he picked up somethin 6ust out of frame and set it on the desk in front of him. a J00%amp char e rifle. #7ne%point%two seconds,$ he said and smiled, #a +uick but ver" painful wa" to be sent to hell.$ - thou ht the man was a lunatic. #Aust because the" do not believe as "ou do2$ 0ether asked in her matter%of%fact wa". The an r" man/s smile disappeared. Fis fist rammin on the desk onl" hei htened m" apprehension. #-t is God/s lawK$ #,hat if the" repent and obe" "our ? obe" God/s laws2$ she asked.
#The law is alread" broken, there can be no merc"K The" belon in hellK$

more peaceful than Earth.$ #- believe that a correct reli ion would be open to all people, or all creation,$ she said, still lookin forward. The ne't moments passed in silence and despair. The waves crashin a ainst 0ether/s consciousness were becomin hi her, the conflicts too reat to bear. The beliefs emphasi:in love and wholeness had no account for the evil she was so intimate with. 7n the other end of the spectrum la" beliefs that seemed evil themselves. No reli ion offered what she needed, and she was 6ust as lost as before. The sense of meanin -/d e'perienced, that - thou ht could never fade, seemed to be doin 6ust that. Thou h - could remember the coffee house, 0ether/s breakdown, and all the events in%between, events were all - could access in m" memor"B - was losin si ht of the motivations behind them and, even as past events, the" seemed to be losin their power.

#0nd if we died toda", would we o to hell2$ The an r" man stopped and thou ht. 3weat ran down his face, over the

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#9id "ou ever meet an"one named !askob2$ - asked. 0ether looked at me. #No. ,ho is that2$ 3ince events were what - had, - decided to make the best of them, to turn them into words and share them. - thou ht ma"be then - could stop them from losin their realit". #Fe was this kid - met. Fe said thin s would be tou h and - needed to trust him to protect us. Fe said - should saveB - should save you. #Mother Earth,$ - swore, turnin to her. #Fe said "ou/re lookin for someoneB and now "ou are. - for ot about that part.$ ,e were silent, starin at, starin past each other.

went to ather information that would brin "ou back to cooperate with "our friend@ thou h "our vital si ns were different when - resumed monitorin , the ap was onl" <12 milliseconds.$ #,hat2$ - asked, onl" half there. #0ether, it must have been hours.$ #-f he is another malviraiB one of a ver" capable class ma" be able to distort m" perception of time, but there would have been si ns.$ #No, No, - saw him (efore - ascended, too. Fe was on the beach, buildin a sandcastle.$ #Fe is a human2$ she asked. #No hacker could=$ #- don/t know what he is, but - think he/s been uidin me, hidin somewhere or, ma"be - can/t see him e'cept when he wants, but - know he/s been with us the whole time.$ #0 spirit2$ - stopped, wonderin if - was actuall" considerin the possibilit" !askob was an an el or somethin . #,hen he was talkin with me, ever"

#,ho is !askob2$ she asked suddenl". #,ho did he sa" - was lookin for2$
#- don/t think he said who.$ #5ut it seems that he knows me, thou h - have no memor" of meetin him.$ #Fe said "ou were lost between two worlds and meant me no harm. Fe said if - trusted him we/d both et where we need to o.$ 0ether was silent a ain, tr"in to discern where the pu::le piece could possibl" fit, havin alread" memori:ed m" entire life but not knowin of an" ;!askob./ #,hen did this meetin occur2$ she finall" asked. #,hen "ou had me in >os 0n eles.$ The memor" was va ue but slowl" cleared. #1eah, - ot out of Ethan/s car and ever"thin disappeared. There was an alarm, a reall" loud alarm - couldn/t find and usts of wind. reali:ed ma"be - should follow the wind and asked for the alarm to stop, and the wind led me to this kid who looked familiar. Fe said his name was !askob and told me all=$ #Thoseeventsareimpossible,$ 0ether interrupted. - looked at her. #Those events are impossible,$ she repeated. #0s "ou left that car, -

time - seemed to have an" contact with him, there was thisB$ - tried hard to put words to ether, as if words couldn/t trul" e'press it, #- had this sense was important to him ? even thou h - didn/t know him. -t was a little like those kids in "our al orithm, but stron er. Fe wanted me to help "ou, because "ou/re important too. Ever"one is important.$ #- cannot account for him,$ 0ether said. #- have no record of an entit" followin us, human or artificial.$ - ot up and stood in front of her, not wantin to ask, but feelin - had to. #9o "ou remember when "ou shot me down in the fi hter 6et2$ #- was an r" at "ou,$ she replied. #1ou weren/t doin what - wanted "ou to do. - was an r" at ever"thin .$
#-f that plane e'ploded 6ust a second sooner, would "ou have let me die2$

3he hesitated. &erhaps, as with me and the +uestion, not wantin to

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answer but feelin she had to. #1es.$ #0nd if those soldiers shot me, would "ou have let me die2$ 3he looked awa", stru lin with the answer and respondin with surprisin emotion. #- could not let themK - wanted them to, but - knew that the" would have been killin a part of meK -B - was so overcome b" m" conflicts and couldn/t stop thinkin that somethin was wron with me, and that - was doin somethin - wasn/t supposed to butB - couldn/t den"B$ The look on her face reflected the sorrow and confusion cloudin over her wonder. #-t went a ainst ever"thin - knew, but a part of me was fascinated b" "our world, 5randon. -t was beautiful and had so much life. 0 part of me wanted to feel raindrops on m" skin and blood flowin throu h m" veins. -t wanted to know more about colors and sounds.$ - felt distance emer e between us. Fer words became soft. #-t was a part of me - decided - liked.$ Fer vanitar fro:e. 3he was one. - walked around the central access point, lookin at the simulated monitors around us, cluttered with data on ever" reli ion in the solar s"stem. #0re "ou a spirit, !askob2 - could sure use "our help to sort throu h this mess. &lease, point us where we should o.$ #- have decided.$ #9ecided2$ - turned back to 0ether. #- am no lon er ambivalent. Thou h - cannot den" what - was, - have chosen to pursue a ood nature.$ #0 ood malvirai, what/s the world comin to2$ - remarked, e'tendin m" hand as she rose from her seat. #,elcome aboard.$ #- believe that - feel better. &erhaps m" new ali nment will benefit us somehow.$ #-f there are ood spirits and evil spirits,$ - said, #- think !askob is a ood one, ma"be even a uardian an el like little kids believe in. - 6ust wish

he/d show up and tell me what to do.$ #,h" would "ou need another encounter when the first ones are still uidin "our actions2$ 3he was ri ht. -/d been thinkin of !askob as someone who mi ht come to m" ever" beck and call, or at least protect me a ainst ever" bump in the road@ but that wasn/t what he was there for. The work was mine to do, 6ust had to trust he knew the wa" and would provide what - needed to find it. pushed ever" thou ht out of m" mind and tried to find some kind of spiritual ener ". - tried to think of all the love in the world and reali:ed it all came up short somehow. - entertained the thou ht there was desi n behind ever"thin in the universe and found it satisf"in @ not as if - were discoverin the fact, but simpl" ivin m"self permission to believe it ? or at least the benefit of a doubt. -f there are answers, - thou ht, wh" are we so lost2 -s it because of a lack of answers or a lack of +uestions2 #Ma"be,$ - said, #ma"be -/m not lookin at this ri ht.$ Thou hts of churches, evan elists, and 5ibles kept drownin out the other thou hts. #keep thinkin of (hristian stuff@ but, since - rew up where (hristianit" is popular, that wouldn/t e'actl" be ob6ective, would it2$ #-t would not,$ 0ether replied, observin enthusiasticall", as if - were wieldin a divinin rod or somethin . - started pacin . #7ka"B -f !askob/s actions from before are still uidin me, ma"be he/s (een showin us the answer the whole time. 9id "ou ever find out what made those four kids so alive2$ #No. - considered that whatever was drivin them was self%sufficient, but - could not determine what it was. -t was somethin - could feel, but not properl" e'amine.$ #That one irl absorbed the stress and an er from the other three.$ #The other three had iven their an er willin l"@ a ps"cholo ical

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sacrifice of the e o, perhaps. ,hether the an er and stress went out from or simpl" died in sub6ect OO, - do not know, but it ceased to e'ist alto ether.$ #Ma"be the number is somethin . 9oes ;OO/ mean an"thin in an" reli ions2$ #-t is si nificant as a doublin of the number seven, which represents ;completion/ in 0brahamic reli ions. primaril" Audaism, (hristianit", and -slam.$ #5ut we alread" anal":ed all those. The" all have wars, bur" themselves in rules, fracture into opposin humans.$ - stopped and looked sternl" at her. #-/m not some amai in "our al orithm who kills whatever stands in his wa"K ,h" would God make us so limited, an"wa"2 -f he loves us, wh" would God 6ust stand back and let us kill each other2$ #,h" do "ou su est God must lo2e us2$ - was becomin an r", nearin an answer - didn/t want to admit. #The completin act of sub6ect OO bears resemblance to the completin act tau ht of Aesus (hrist, perhaps "our ob6ectivit" is not re+uired,$ she said. #- did consider that the correct belief should be popular, especiall" if it teaches of a sin le supreme bein . 9urin our conversation with >ad" 8ira, considered that if - had created a mass of life forms, - would want them to know who made them.$ #5ut that/s not re+uired, either.$ #True,$ she replied. #5ut, if the creator of the universe doesn/t want to reveal himself, then we will be unable to find him.$ #1ou made an assumptionK$ M" face lit up with a rin. #- can/t believe - 6ust heard thatK$ roups and, uhhhB$ shared b" all #0nd kill each other. &erhaps it is a shortcomin

0ether clearl" had no idea what - was talkin about. - leaned in close and waved a hand toward the monitors listin the man" ideas about God. #1ou assumed the creator is a ;him./$ #-n the absence of other ods, what is the si nificance of ender2 1our race commonl" places males above females, especiall" in histor". &erhaps God is a ;him/ because he is a kin ? the 8in ? and it would be a serious error to refer to a ;she/ or ;it./$ - collapsed back into m" chair. #0nd if ;he/ doesn/t want us to find him, we/re wastin our time.$ #The (hristian belief is the reverse. -f the creator does want to be found, then our search cannot fail.$ #Then, if that/s what "ou thinkB - uess that/s what we/re doin ,$ said, and roaned. #,hat - think is irrelevant. Ior reasons - don/t know, it is "ou who !askob is uidin . Therefore our ne't action should be determined b" what you know is ri ht.$ - tried to reason m"self out of it, to find some an le that would write% off the cra:" 5ible people as +uickl" as possible@ but all that would come throu h on m" spiritual channel were m" own hauntin words. Dont (e an o(ser2er3 Be a )artici)ant3

Cha)ter Twel2e* Rules of the Game

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13
Why would a loving God% If there is a God who created mankind, who is infinitely powerful and omnipotent, who 5 this being the important part 5 loves every creature, why% -ut love is a big part of the universe, having a gravity of its own. 4ove is all there is when there is nothing left, trust in what cannot be seen or proven but is. #here are so many ideas of love and so many religions to codify it, but that is not the nature of love. Raskob showed me a love I never knew, a love Aether glimpsed in the children. "ers was the reaction of all of us to conform and bend it to her will, but that is not the nature of love. We sifted through the beliefs of the world, wondering if any really knew the answers themselves. 4iberal religions say everything is good and perfect already, writing off any force of destruction as misguided. )trict religions mark off love as something they alone comprehend, but their failure to give it to others sends a different message. Is =hristianity successful because colonists spread it by force in the past or because of what it tells people in the present God loves them and one simple act guarantees heaven* -ut if God so loved the world, why shouldn&t the world already be heaven* 'ven those who ask don&t always receive, so is God&s love some /oke or rumor played on the faithful* -ut heaven cannot be read in a book, and no set of rules can get someone there. We thought we were learning about religion, but religion wasn&t the answer we would find. 4ove isn&t in the laws, and
CAFFEINE

love doesn&t force gifts into the hands of those who aren&t interested in using them lovingly. 4ove can save a life and move ahead when the road is rough. ?aith is the only valuable means of achievement. ?aith is in the message, and those who set their sights to the ways of God soon shed religion as they knew it. In time, they find the best things can&t be earned, but only given freely.

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13
- had no idea there were churches full"%based in 9"namic !ealit". New +ife 0loating Ta(ernacle had no ph"sical buildin , onl" a server desi ned to serve hundreds of thousands of visitors, all of whom seemed to be there when - entered the sanctuar". - received a din. #- cannot safel" circumvent their securit" measures. will meet with "ou when "ou leave.$ 0ether wasn/t there. Fopin she didn/t for et, - lanced at m" wrist and saw a descender, not the real one, but one 6ust like it ? as it had been when we started. - didn/t know what to e'pect interactin with these people and there was no sense in takin chances, since bein an"where in 9! without a re istered descender was a crime in the Hnited 3tates. - moved to blend in with the crowd. 0ll the people, thousands of ascenders, looked attentive enou h@ but bein able to see their s"nchroni:ations revealed one in ever" three was activel" connectin to the outside. - smirked as - considered the" didn/t reall" want to be there. - didn/t know if - reall" wanted to be there. 0nother third were connected to an internal data%stream, which the construct/s interface offered to si n me on to. (hapter one of the Book of "cclesiastes streamed into m" 3N9>. 0t the center of the massive semi%circle preached a man who appeared elderl" ? a rare si ht in a universe where "outhful%lookin vanitars are onl" a thou ht awa" ? but he pro6ected his messa e with as much vi or as someone m" a e mi ht have.
#Fe continues in verse twelve. ;-, the Teacher, was kin over -srael in Aerusalem. - devoted m"self to stud" and to e'plore b" wisdom all that is done under heaven. ,hat a heav" burden God has laid on menK - have seen all the
thin s that are done under the sun@ all of them are meanin less, a chasin after the wind. ,hat is twisted cannot be strai htened@ what is lackin cannot be counted.
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#;- thou ht to m"self, ;>ook, - have rown and increased in wisdom more than an"one who has ruled over Aerusalem before me@ - have e'perienced much of wisdom and knowled e./ Then - applied m"self to the understandin of wisdom, and also of madness and foll", but - learned that this, too, is a chasin after the wind. Ior with much wisdom comes much sorrow@ the more knowled e, the more rief./$ The preacher took a step forward, pacin across the sta e as he spoke, usin subtle hand estures and bod" lan ua e, immersin his whole self into the role of teacher. Nothin seemed special about the messa e, thou h, it was 6ust depressin and obvious@ but - knew we weren/t in science class, listenin to the words of dead philosophers. These people were pa"in attention to somethin . - reminded m"self to sta" focused, to keep lookin for it. #8in 3olomon, a man of reat power and famed wisdom, called it all ;meanin less/ and ;chasin after the wind./ Fe lived life and did as he pleased, but died like ever"one else, and ever"thin he spent his life buildin up went to others. ,hat the 5ook of Ecclesiastes emphasi:es is the transitor" nature of life. ,hat we do for ourselves has no meanin in the end, it is onl" what we do for God that counts. #(onsider the wa" we live in the modern world. Even in this so%called ;broad%spectrum bu"er/s market/ ? some call it a ;recession/ ? our da"%to%da" lives are spent in lu'ur" 3olomon and his contemporaries never knew. -t/s so eas" to et cau ht up in the wa"s of this world and lose si ht of God/s call on "our life. -t/s so eas" to ain knowled e about this world and think "ou have all the answers. -n this world, where we can 6ump from one e'perience to the ne't in the blink of an e"e, man" people want to tell "ou the answers, but onl" God can tell you about you, and he will@ because, as (hrist said, ;7ld thin s have passed awa"@ behold, all thin s are become new./ 8in 3olomon was speakin to an 7ld Testament inabilit" to know the wa"s of God, but (hrist

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closed the ap between man and God.$ The preacher announced he would be available in the altar room for the ne't hour and left the sta e, its backdrop returnin to a three%dimensional animation of the (hristian cross and Aohn <.1J, appearin in more lan ua es than - could reco ni:e. The crowd started min lin and several ascenders si ned off. #Iirst time2$ 0 man a little "oun er than m"self appeared ne't to me. #1ou mean in this church or in a church, period2$ Fe e'tended a hand toward me. #-f "ou/ve never been in a church before, then -/m reall" lad to see "ouK Name/s Thomas. Thomas 5urdo.$ Fis voice revealed an 0ustralian accent. - rasped his hand. #5randon 9auphin.$ #,ell, 5randon. -/ll be happ" to show "ou around, e'plore what we/re about, all that first%timer stuff.$ #3o "ou work here, then2$ #- volunteer here as a reeter,$ he replied. #4olunteer a lot nowada"sB slump hit (anberra hard and - otta do somethin or - o cra:". ,hat better wa" to spend free time than servin the >ord2$ #(an/t God 6ust gi2e "ou a 6ob2$ Tom smiled. #-/m pra"in , of course. - pra" before ever" interview. 5ut - must let God answer in his own time, ma"be the door he opens for me won/t be one - e'pect.$ #,ell, - prefer to keep thin s more predictable if "ou don/t mind.$ looked awa" toward nothin in particular. #Mind if - ask how "ou found out about us2$ #Hh, a friend. 3he was onna 6oin me, actuall", but had to run at the last second.$

#,ell, we/re alwa"s here, alwa"s open to whoever wants to come and worship.$ Tom indicated the sta e, where another preacher was preparin to speak. #7ur staff has fift"%ei ht preachers who ive dail" or weekl" sermons here in the sanctuar". ,e also have an altar room, speciali:ed teachin rooms, libraries, offices, so on and so on. 9a" or ni ht, we/re bustlin with activit".$ - noticed more ascenders enterin the sanctuar". #Feaven/s onna be prett" crowded, then, huh2$ Tom ran his hand throu h his hair. dark brown with reen hi hli hts. #Trust me, if God/s the cit" planner, traffic 6ams and data%link saturation won/t be a problem.$ The new preacher, a tall -ndian man appearin to be in his thirties, addressed the crowd. #5efore - be in toda", -/m happ" to sa" the new securit" we purchased, thanks to "our enerous ivin , was installed "esterda". 3o far, so oodB none of "ou should have even noticed the chan e when connectin here.$ Fe paused and seemed to reflect on somethin . #5ut - thou ht - should share that, as - was preparin toda"/s lesson, the Fol" 3pirit spoke to me and said someone somewhere was oin to have a problem because of it. 3o we/re onna put our servers back on the old measures for a little whileB "ou never know, ma"be we/ll discover there was a bu . - 6ust couldn/t sleep at ni ht knowin someone seekin salvation was turned awa" b" software. 0fter all, "ou know how computers can et sometimes2$ The con re ation responded with a resoundin #0menK$ #Fol" 3pirit, huh2$ - asked, becomin more than a little spooked. #The Fol" Trinit". God the Iather, (hrist the 3on, and the Fol" 3pirit,$ Tom said. #,hatB ,ould the Fol" 3pirit be the uncle or somethin 2$ #The Fol" 3pirit is an aspect of God, 6ust as (hrist is. -/m not enou h of a theolo ian to understand more than that, but it/s not like an" creature can

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trul" know ever"thin about God. ,e base our faith on what he reveals to us personall" and in scripture.$ (hapter ten of the Book of Mark came in throu h m" 3N9>. The preacher, identified b" m" interface as &astor 0mit Montavon, be an. #5ein that &astor 3teve 6ust preached on wisdom and knowin the wa"s of God, thou ht this would be a ood time to deliver a messa e on faith. ,ith the chaos of livin in toda"/s world and the knowled e of the world literall" at our fin ertips, faith is somethin we sometimes pit a ainst knowled e. -t/s easier than ever to take matters into our own hands and know what/s ne't rather than trust in the >ord to provide. ,e become so sure in what we learn that we don/t listen to the entle wind underneath the din of the world.$ #- thou ht chasin after the wind was meanin less.$ Tom looked at me. #1ou mean 8in 3olomon2$ #1eah, that ;Ecclesiastes/ stuff. ,h" is it bad in one testament and not in the other2$ #,h" chase after wind, if wind is all "ou e'pect to find2$ - stared at him, wonderin whether he knew somethin about me he wasn/t lettin on. #This messa e,$ the preacher continued, #was inspired b" m" own si'% "ear%old son a few weeks a o. - and 3heela brou ht him to see her parents, and ever" si'%"ear%old knows his randparents are ood for cand". 0s much as we asked him to be polite, there was no hidin his enthusiasm. - noticed that his randparents were 6ust as happ" to ive as their randson was to receive, and - thou ht about Mark chapter ten, let/s read it from verses thirteen to si'teen. #;&eople were brin in little children to Aesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. ,hen Aesus saw this, he was indi nant. Fe said to them, #>et the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for

the kin dom of God belon s to such as these. - tell "ou the truth, an"one who will not receive the kin dom of God like a little child will never enter it.$ 0nd he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them./ #>ittle children don/t worr" about where the ifts come from or what the" will do with them. -t should be the same between God and ourselves. ,e alwa"s worr" about the details and put his blessin s in the dim li ht of our own imperfections@ for ettin that God is alwa"s there with us, that he wants our imperfections, that he wants our problems, so that we put our burdens on the cross and trust in him to provide for our ever" need. ,hen we are born% a ain and accept the blood of (hrist, it covers our ever" sin, no matter how bad our human nature has led us astra", and allows us to enter into the presence of God. #-t is when we reali:e this and ive our worries to God, da" in and da" out, that we reali:e we don/t need all the answers. >ive life pra"erfull", and he will ive "ou the answers "ou need. -t is then that "ou can row in the faith of a child and enthusiasticall" accept the cand" from a lovin and all powerful Iather in heaven.$ &salm 2< appeared behind him and man" in the crowd read it with him in unison. #;The >7!9 is m" shepherd, - shall not be in want. Fe makes me lie down in reen pastures, he leads me beside +uiet waters, he restores m" soul. Fe uides me in paths of ri hteousness for his name/s sake. #;Even thou h - walk throu h the valle" of the shadow of death, - will fear no=$ The preacher stopped and looked to an openin in the crowd, ever"one/s attention set on a "oun woman with short, silver" hair. Ma"be it was the messa e bein preached, or the fact - was lookin down to see her@ but, in that moment, 0ether appeared so smallB so like a child. #,ho created God2$ she asked the preacher.

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#-s she a first%timer, too2$ Tom asked me. - let out a roan. &eople ever"where commented to each other about the unusual ? and impolite ? visitor. &astor 0mit raised his arms to settle the crowd and addressed 0ether. #God is the 0lpha and the 7me a, the creator of ever"thin . Fe e'isted before the be innin of time and will e'ist after the end of it. Fe was not himself created.$ #That/s not fairK - want to knowK$ There was another round of commotion. 0ether chose to address the crowd. #&eople of heaven, what - seek is what "ou seek. - want to know the truth. - want to know m" purpose. Ma"be m" path was different from "ours, but doesn/t "our book +uote God sa"in ;(ome now, let us reason to ether./ ,h" should a creator hide himself and cover ever"thin up in parables and s"mbolism2 The disciples didn/t understand when Aesus spoke then. Ma"be that/s because we/re all children, and those who re ard themselves as such are bein the most honest with themselves, and are therefore the most capable of rowth. &erhaps that is an important aspect of humanit". 5ut, - don/t=$ 3he stopped and looked back to &astor 0mit. #-/m sorr", -/m ruinin "our service.$ 0t that, she vanished. Ever"one in the crowd burst into conversation. The pastor stood wonderin if he should continue or not. #Thanks for ever"thin , Tom, but -/d better follow her.$ - +uickl" shut off m" vanitar and searched for her in data%cloud mode. The la"out of the server was simple, and - was ettin better at navi atin without control software. - spotted her pattern in another section of the church. The smaller space was +uiet and diml" lit, much less crowded than the sanctuar". Fundreds of people were kneelin and pra"in , pastors and other workers at their side. - stood b" the wall ne't to 0ether, watchin them.

#0re the" enuine2$ she dinned. #9o "ou feel that the" are in contact with God2$ #- don/t know.$ 0ether ave me a stern look, but it +uickl" softened. Fer a:e returned to the crowd. #,h" do the" come here to pra"2 ,ouldn/t 3tandard !ealit" be one level closer to God2 3houldn/t it be the bod" kneelin rather than 6ust the vanitar2 -sn/t it more enuinel" +uiet out there2$ #3ome people think it/s dumb to ascend 6ust to o to church.$ - found Tom standin on the other side of me. #5ut the mission of a 9! church isn/t to replace ph"sical ones, but to reach out to the ;ascended/ lost who wouldn/t o to them.$ #Then this church is as valid as those2$ 0ether asked. #The believers are the church. -t doesn/t matter whether the place of worship is concrete and carbon or wires and software. -f the" ive themselves to God, an"where is a church.$ 0 woman in the distance be an wailin loudl". 7ne of the people la"in lands on her cried out #-n Aesus/ nameK$ #This ma" be too emotional for me to understand,$ 0ether dinned. #would prefer a path of thou htB a belief which is based on ob6ectivit".$ #>ots of (hristians choose the headier paths.$ Tom replied. #Iaith ets e'pressed throu h emotions more often than not, but emotion isn/t where faith comes from, it/s 6ust the wa" most people are.$ #&eople,$ she echoed back. #,hat/s an ob6ective belief but one that sa"s the universe e'ists be"ond "our awareness of it2 7therwise, "ou would ha2e to be od, because ever"thin would e'ist relative to "ourself. (ould "ou will ravit" awa" if "ou wanted to2 ,hat would happen if "ou did, not knowin the air would escape the atmosphere, or the Earth would leave the 3un/s orbit and free:e2

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,e/re not the desi ners of the universe, so ma"be it/s a ood thin we can/t ive unlimited power to ourselves.$ #3ome people alread" think the" can,$ - replied, shru in m" shoulders. #0nd what if spiritualit" is 6ust in our heads2 ,h" not invent somethin "ou can be powerful in, somethin "ou can have fun with2$ #The supernatural is part of our nature, and it/s normal for people to lon for it, even if subconsciousl"@ but, because we can/t see it, it/s temptin to pro6ect our fantasies onto the supernatural rather than tr" to discern what it alread" is. 0fter a while, the misrepresentations cheapen ;spiritual stuff/ to a point where it/s eas" to not take it seriousl" an"more.$ #Fow can somethin that is real be made ;cheap/2$ Tom smiled in response to 0ether/s point. #That was +uite a speech "ou made in there,$ he dinned. #-t reall" left an impression.$ #The man stopped when - entered. - took the opportunit" to speak m" mind. - for ot that m" actions were improper.$ #Ma"be@ but 6ud in b" the reaction, ma"be it was the will of the Fol" 3pirit that led "ou to do that. 3ometimes he/ll take a service in a totall" different direction than we meant. -n fact, before "ou showed up, &astor 0mit said God led him to=$ 3omethin chan ed. Throu h m" third e"e - saw the construct/s data patterns shift and scramble. #,ell, speakin of the securit"B$ Tom said, seein nothin more than an icon chan e in the control software. #That was short,$ - remarked. 0ether 6umped past me and rabbed Tom b" the shoulders, ur entl" askin the +uestion aloud, #9o - have a soul2$ Tom, startled as ever"one else in the room, hesitated. 0ether had the look of death on her face and onl" shouted louder,

#&lease, Thomas 5urdo, do "ou believe that - have some kind of immortal soul2$ #1esB 1esK$ Tom responded, li htl" takin hold of her arms. Thou h it wasn/t showin to the others in the construct, - could see its ener " was becomin e'citedB initiali:in B preparin for somethin . #(an%"our%God%save%me%from%death2$ she screamed, the pauses between her words shrinkin . Nearb" altar workers came to la" their hands on her. #1esK$

#Then%pra"%for%a%miracle% pra"foran"thin dowhateverhewantsAH3T&!01K$

0 wave of li ht flashed throu h the entire construct, c"clin throu h ever" ob6ect and connection. M" heart 6umped into m" throat and - suddenl" cried out to God, the Fol" 3pirit, Mother Nature, the (elestials, !askob ? an"one who was listenin ? to come to 0ether/s rescue. Tom and the others didn/t know what the" were pra"in for, it was between 0ether and God. 0ether was afraid. 3he knew she couldn/t fool or dod e whatever the wave represented, or withstand whatever it mi ht tri er. 3he was helpless. 3he cried out #-n Aesus/ nameK$ -t ended. The room returned to normal. - could see the whole crowd now pra"in for the malvirai, the people who believed in miracles and believed in God. ,hen - saw the look on her face ? the messa e in her e"es ? in the midst of all those people, - knew it was no last%second hack that saved her. saw the startup scan o throu h ever"one and ever"thin in the server, runnin its data throu h countless securit" al orithms and pur in what didn/t belon @ but somethin had intervened. Irom 0ether, her vanitar, and all the connections sustainin herB the scan 6ust appeared toB bounce off. The spiritual stuff was for real.

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#1ou/re not onna become one of those computer viruses, are "ou2$ #- have noted that people swear b" what the" reco ni:e as bein more - was in the sanctuar" lon enou h to hear three sermons. Man" powerful than themselves. such as God, Aesus (hrist, or Fell. ;Mother Nature/ has modern popularit", indicatin that it has taken power within "our societ", even so that "ou assi n it the personification of ;Mother./$ Fer e"es 6umped briefl" to me and into the book a ain. #,ords have meanin s, the" should be understood.$ #0nd what are the ;meanin s/ of the words "ou/re readin ? so ver" slowl"2 Even reading, -/d think an 0- could flip the pa es faster than that.$ #The 5ible was written for humans, so - am attemptin to read like one, and at the speed one t"picall" reads. - am hopin this will help me resolve the numerous conflicts within the book.$ #(onflicts2$ #1es,$ she said, her e"es scannin the pa es, her 0- mind separatin the ener " representin letters and words from that of the pa es themselves. #1ou know, the" have libraries meant for the public. 1ou mi ht et in trouble.$ #- ac+uired permission from &astor 8ao to use this one.$ #7ka", then wh" are "ou looking at the book2 1ou can process this stuff directl"B Mother Earth, 0ether, - can take it in directl" without readin words.$ #1ou swear b" ;Mother Earth/2$ #,haB -t/s 6ust somethin people sa".$ #To be friendl"2$ #,ell, - uess not.$ 3he looked up from the book. #;0bove all, m" brothers, do not swear =not b" heaven or b" earth or b" an"thin else. >et "our #1es$ be "es, and "our #No,$ no, or "ou will be condemned./ 5ook of Aames, (hapter Iive.$ #Even limitin m" scope to the En lish%lan ua e, the 5ible is available in <1* versions. 0s - noticed factual contradictions in the popular ones, - attempted to resolve them in the translations closest to the ori inal Febrew and Greek lan ua es, but man" remained. numerical discrepancies, traced to ancient cop"ist errors@ or (hrist/s last words@ or the presence of one or two an els at his tomb. The creation account in Genesis is unclear, and - cannot decide whether God is transcendent or omnipresent.$ #9ecide2$ - asked. #This isn/t a reli ion where "ou can ;decide,/ 0ether. God 6ust ;is/ somethin .$ #Nuestions have meanin s, too, 5randon@ and not to state that an answer is unknowable.$ #0nd how much do "ou think these people reall" ;know/2 The last preacher said Aesus was full" man and full" God. -t 6ust doesn/t make sense.$ ascenders came, man" ascenders went, a third of them were never completel" there. - found out the server and church re istrations were in 4ietnam, thou h the crowd was so diverse the leanin toward East 0sian and 0ustralian visitors seemed ver" small. - even met a woman from 3an 9ie o who was onl" on her third visit, but alread" plannin to et bapti:ed at a church up in 3anta 5arbara. Thou h (hristians loved the outreach a 9"namic !ealit" church offered, it was still believed new people should et bapti:ed the old% fashioned wa". 0ether was in a modest construct, filled with book data, ima es, and links to constructs outside the church@ it was a speciali:ed librar" for some of the church staff. ,hen - transferred into it, she was starin at the pa es of a book.

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3he shru

ed her shoulders, still readin .

e"es from the book, worried but calm. 0 wave, less severe than the first but 6ust as thorou h, shot throu h the room. The scan paused on 0ether. - didn/t know if pra"er was needed. didn/t know what - should do. Ior a lon time the securit" software scanned the malvirai, but she remained calm and the scan moved on. #-t/s another miracle,$ - said. 0ether collected herself. #&erhaps.$ #,hat do "ou mean ;perhaps/2 9o "ou know how to et around the scans now2$ #No,$ she answered immediatel".

#0ether, those books were written more than two thousand "ears a o. 3ome of it is cultural references. 3ome of it is based on bad source material. !esearch wasn/t so cut%and%dr" back then ? and not man" people were even able to read.$ #-f the 5ible is the inspired word of God, then - must understand all of it. The a e and culture of its ori in is irrelevant. The conflicts must have resolutions.$ #5ut the people here don/t think like computers and the" do 6ust fine. God listens to them, doesn/t he2 God for ave their sins, didn/t he2$ Fer e"es were still on the book. #This is not a matter of sins for iven. have not sinned.$ - lared at her, wonderin if she was actuall" serious. #- am merel" conductin research,$ she added. #Ever"one sins. -/m not even a (hristian and - know that.$ #1ou for et that -/m not ever"one. M" malevolence was dictated b" pro rammin , primaril" before - knew how to +uestion it. M" later choices consistentl" favored ood, when - had the necessar" data to distin uish it from evil.$ #,ell, lots of bad people are bad because the" don/t have a choiceB but the"/re still sinners, at least ever"one here thinks the" are. The"/d call me a sinner. Mother Ear=$ - cau ht m"self and took a deep breath. #The" call themsel2es sinners, 0ether. !edemption is what their reli ion is built around.$ #Their book states that (hrist died for ;man./ - am not a member of mankind and - was not created as the" were. Even if - owe m" life to the same creator, the uarantee of for iv=$ The ener " of the construct became e'cited a ain. 0ether lifted her

The malvirai suddenl" became distant, deep in thou ht. #-t/s m" code, it/sB$
#0ether2$ #0lmost all of it is unreadable now. The process is acceleratin .$ #0re "ou sa"in "ou don/t have pro rammin an"more2$ #No, it/s not that. - believe - am still a malvirai. - still possess all of m" memor" and knowled e. The destructive inclinations still lin er in m" consciousness. -/m not sure that - am chan in at all, e'cept that - can/t see or modif" m" inner workin s.$ #0nd "ou still don/t know what/s causin it2$ #- am afraid of what it means. -f a sentrai does attack me and m" code becomes dama ed a ainB$ #,asn/t some of "our code alread" scrambled when it happened the first time2 9o "ou sense an"thin didn/t ;heal/2$ #Feal2$ she asked. #0re "ou su are becomin unconscious2$ - smirked. #Aust like a human.$ 0ether returned to starin at the book. - wondered if it would reall" estin that m" self%repair functions

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teach her an"thin , if she was capable of understandin whatever it was the believers found so special, or if there wasn/t some other book she mi ht find answers in. Fer +uestions were m" +uestions, her fate was m" fate@ but she seemed so stron , so determined. - wondered whether - would be saved b" spirits or an els or whatever if a simple scan had threatened m" life. 0ether saw the piece of the pu::le she was missin . - wanted it too. - tried to focus on what - could do, wh" - was bein used in !askob/s mission to save 0ether. There is somethin - can do. - know what/s on our hearts, and - can find others lookin for meanin to talk to. - decided to hunt down Tom. #,ait, 5randon.$ 0ether stood onl" a meter awa". #- 6ust wanted to sa"B - should be dead now.$ 3he suddenl" reached forward and #Thank "ou.$ - felt so happ", reali:in - wasn/t afraid of her an"more. The whole place ave me the feelin - didn/t have to be afraid an"more, period. 0ether released me 6ust as suddenl". #,hen - am done here, - wish to renew m" stud" of emotion. Now that - am more adept at human interaction, perhaps - have learned thin s that - will be able to use to improve m" understandin .$ 0 smirk came across her lips. #&erhaps - have been learnin thin s unconsciousl".$ 0ether reappeared in the chair and resumed readin the old%fashioned wa". Fer esture confirmed ever"thin -/d felt in that place. those who seek will find. #-f - have a soul, then "ou have a soul. 1ou/ll understand ever"thin eventuall", 0ether.$ ave me a non%chokin hu . Thou h - transferred the normal in%vanitar wa", somethin unusual connected before - appeared in the Bluefish Room. -t tri ered to show me the date was Tuesda", Aanuar" Dth@ and it contained some data packet, which m" 3N9> activated without promptin me, on the dan ers of #hardkor 9!in .$ -n t"pical data packet fashion, - was instantaneousl" informed of hundreds of side%effects, man" permanent, of remainin ascended for too lon . The knowled e called attention to m" earlier fears. The information added to m" fears. - didn/t reali:e so much time had passed. -/d alread" missed New 1ear/s. - let the fear in and be an to worr" - reall" had been ascended too lon , without an"one lookin for me, or with the malvirai - thou ht was m" friend stoppin them from reachin me. 7n cue, the headache - hadn/t felt in a lon time came sur in back. &ushin five da"s ascended was alwa"s a bad idea, and - worried about the mess - would be when - finall" returned to 3!. Tom noticed - entered the room. #3o mate, how do "ou like the place so far2$ #(an - ask "ou somethin 2$ - responded throu h the pain. #3ureB 1ou all ri ht2$ #1eah, fine. >ook, if "ou believed God asked "ou to do somethin for someone, how far should "ou o2$ #- uess the sa"in ;throu h hell and hi h water/ would appl". -f God puts a call on "our life, nothin should be allowed to stand in the wa" of answerin it.$ #0nd what if it was bad for "ou2$ Fe put his hand on m" shoulder. #5randon, the >ord doesn/t ask for what/s bad for "ou. ,e ma" not alwa"s understand the benefit, or see the

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ood in it at all. There ma" be pain and sacrifice, and man" even lose their freedom or their lives, but, if "our trust and "our focus is on God, it will alwa"s brin about somethin 3omethin - would sta" on it. The headache faded a little. The 5luefish !oom was lit in patterns of silver, blue and old, with ima es of the Aesus (ross alon the walls. 0 few people were on its lar e sta e, tweakin an airG panel to affect the sound of the drums. 7ne of them looked familiar. - couldn/t believe m" e"es, thinkin it mi ht/ve been some vanitar%trick. #Tell me that/s the drummer from Eleven Hnder.$ #1eah, the"/re performin here tomorrow.$ #-n a church2$ - looked at Tom to make sure he was 6okin . #Eleven Hnder is a Christian %ledg!ek band2$ #1ou ever read the l"rics, mate2$ - scratched the back of m" head. #Hm, no.$ Tom lau hed. #The" like to keep a lot of secular attention, because those are the people who need (hrist. 0 lot of their fans don/t even know the"/re (hristians, the" 6ust know the son s are positive@ the" mi ht even prefer them when the" need to smu le some hope into a bad da".$ - spotted a red wristband on the drummer, similar to the wristbands -/d been seein on people all over the sanctuar". Tom was wearin one too, opposite his descender. #7ka", tell me about that,$ - asked, pointin . -ts band appeared to be made of some red fiber@ when Tom picked his arm up and ave me a better look, - saw a silver cross stamped boldl" on top. asked. reat.$ be"ond his words brou ht me back to m" coura e,

#-t/s called a ;3erenit" 5racelet./ 3tor" oes, a tsunami, real bad one, hit -ndonesia in the fifties. 0 3in aporean church or ani:ed a relief effort with thousands of people, but the number of them amon all the devastation made it hard for them to keep or ani:ed, so someone came up with the idea to wear red armbands with silver crosses. Irom there, it kind of went viral. Now it/s a popular accessor" for (hristians to put on their vanitars.$ #4iral2$ #1eah, "ou knowB when somethin une'pectedl" becomes a hit in 9"namic !ealit".$ 7f course - knew what he meant, but - couldn/t help but smile at his choice of words. #5ut (hristians aren/t the onl" ones who do ood thin s, are the"2$ #,ell, no.$ #Then what makes "ou think non%(hristians won/t o to heaven2$ #Good deeds don/t et an"one into heaven,$ he replied. #The word sa"s. ;Ior it is b" race "ou have been saved, throu h faith=and this not from "ourselves, it is the ift of God= not b" works, so that no one can boast./ #0cceptin (hrist/s sacrifice, bein born a ain, is the onl" wa" into heaven.$ #,h"2 5ecause it sa"s it in "our bible2$ #The 5ible is a precious tool we/ve been iven, and an"one who believes it/s the word of God must believe ever" verse is meanin ful and true. The e'perience of the faithful is consistent with the word, and the word is an important tool in buildin faith. The 5ible speaks of God/s unlimited race, freel" available and unlimited to an"one who puts their imperfections onto the cross. -t is the dut" of (hristians to share what the"/ve been iven.$

remindin me not to be afraid. - knew - was still on the ri ht path, and decided

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The noise of the room seemed to fade, as if we were in a separate universe. - considered his words and had to keep remindin m"self to be an r", remindin m"self he probabl" didn/t know what he was talkin about. #Even if it means war2$ - asked. #9oes ;spreadin the faith/ 6ustif" the (rusades, 3laver" in the 3outh, or the 3alem ,itch Trials2$ #1ou don/t need old e'amples, people do bad thin s toda" in the name of God, and we know b" their actions it was not God uidin them. 1ou speak of the (rusades, for instance. God can do ood thin s even throu h wars, thin s histor" mi ht overlook@ but such events are eas" to abuse, too@ man" take their focus off God and ive themselves license to commit whatever atrocities the" want. 1es, there are points in the 5ible where God willed destruction, and the"/re no less valid than an"thin else recorded in the word@ but destruction isn/t the overridin theme or basis for our belief, the redemption validated b" (hrist is. ,e live in the New Testament, where we can know God ourselves, rather than o throu h fallible human bein s. Those who preach death and destruction to what the" don/t understand have allowed themselves to be led astra" and, in turn, the" lead others astra".$ #>ed astra" b" whom, 3atan2$ #1es.$ #0nd how do "ou prevent the all!mighty %atan from doin that2$ #5" faith in and a personal relationship with God. 3atan can/t do an"thin God doesn/t let him.$ - raised m" voice. #5ut wh" would a lovin God=$ - noticed the man on the airG panel lance at me. - looked back at Tom, and dinned so onl" he could hear the words. #(ome clean with me, man. 1ou seem like a ood u" and ever"thin , do "ou reall" believe in this stuff2$ #,h" do "ou call me ood2$ he replied aloud.

The response confused me. #0ren/t - a sinner2$ he continued. #(an - deserve an"thin 2 Good is intent to do benevolent thin s, evil is intent to do harm@ but, who is alwa"s ood all the time, and how man" are evil, but abstain from the title of ;evil./ Even if we do mean well, and even if we meticulousl" plan and support our ood intentions, we don/t alwa"s know it is ood that will come out of it. #3ometimes the result of ood is evil and for evil, oodB and what does it all mean2 3ome like to sa" ood e'ists within evil and evil within ood, and ood e'ists within the evil that e'ists within the ood, and that evil e'ists within that ood and ood within that evilB on and onB creatin a towerin ma:e, driven b" the same forces that divide us all. Aust when "ou think "ou know how to navi ate the ma:e, someone/s definition chan es and "ou have to learn all over a ain, like memori:in the shiftin on a beach. #Good within evil. ,hite within black. Hp within down. (an - sa" the"/re wron 2 -/ve seen these thin s, too. Therefore, - sa" - know nothin of ood and evil. - am merel" a spiritual child. 3omeda" "ou will understand what it means when - sa" - do not belon to a reli ion. The reasons for m" belief cannot be demonstrated, the" are between m"self and God. The reasons for "our friend/s belief are between her and God. Genuine faith does not come at the point of a un or b" the will of another, "ou have to let God show "ou who he made "ou to be.$ - was silent for a moment, unable to find m" an er, m" an er havin left a residue of fear. #0nd if - call and he doesn/t answer2$ Tom looked awa". #,h" do "ou ask the +uestions2$ #5ecause - feel it is m" purpose ri ht now. - want to ask "ou +uestions. - want to know if "ou/re for real.$ rains of sand

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#7nl" real people can ask +uestions and mean them. The lon in for answers stems from an abilit" to row. The need for answers stems from a need to row. -t is our desire for communication that makes us who we are. The one who answers rows 6ust as the one who asks, that which was hidden is revealed and put into the li ht.$ #0re "ou sa"in - should ask more +uestions2$ #-/m sa"in "ou should watch for the answers. God knows more about "ou than even "ou know about "ou, but "ou must be careful to accept the answers "ou need over those "ou want.$ Tom looked me strai ht in the e"e, havin the look of one wise well be"ond his "ears. #The" sa" to o to church "ou have to turn "our brain off. Now - will ask a +uestion. 9o "ou feel an" dumber "et2$ #Ma"be ;the"/ don/t want to ive up who the" are,$ - replied. #&eople value their independence. The" don/t want to ive it up to a God the" can/t see, or whose book makes no sense.$ #0re (hristians an" less individual2$ Tom asked. #0re non%(hristians an" less dependent on each other2 Even the most self%sufficient person relies on others constantl". ,here does the electricit" come from2 ,ho wrote the books the" stud" from2 ,ho rew the food the" eat and purified the water the" drink2 ,h"B even a man livin off the land without a sin le lu'ur" is at the merc" of his natural environment. -f we all have to serve somethin or someone outside of ourselves, doesn/t it make the most sense to serve the 7ne who made us, cares for us, and loves us2$ #>ike servin some kin B$ - thou ht out loud, ever"thin about the place remindin me of m" e'perience in the coffee house. - shook m" head and moaned, reco ni:in another feelin -/d had in the coffee house, the one that caused me to knock the slampak off the table. #5ut wh" me2 -/m a nobod", no one special at allK$ a

Tom put his hand on m" shoulder and looked at me discernin l". #,ell, "ou/re a somebod" now@ and if "ou stop runnin awa" from "ourself, "ou ma" find he/s not so bad.$ - looked awa". #1eah, - uess - have had a problem with runnin awa". -/m 6ust not read" to surrender an"thin "et, "ou know2$ - took a few deep breaths and tried to calm m"self. #Those who ive what the" have to God find themselves with more than the" started with,$ Tom said. #Iaith isn/t about not usin "our 6ud ment or throwin awa" "our identit", but about ivin him permission to chan e them.$ #,h" would God need permission2$ #-f we were to stop with simple lo ic, he doesn/t need permission to do an"thin @ but race is be"ond the scope of lo ic, and it doesn/t force ifts into the hands of those who aren/t willin to accept them.$ The sound of drums reverberated off the simulated walls, the loud and ressive sound - alwa"s en6o"ed more in 9"namic !ealit", where the wa" hear could be ad6usted and, no matter how loud, m" eardrums never hurt. Eleven Hnder/s drummer approved. #(hristian 3led %ek,$ - said to m"self, two words that didn/t seem to fit to ether before that da". #The name is even a reference to death. eleven feet under. -f -/m not mistaken, still the law in parts of 0merica that for ot to finish convertin to metric.$ #0re (hristians reall" so afraid to die2 To live how the" want now, if the" don/t want this ;born%a ain/ stuff, and 6ust do what needs to be done after the" die2$

#-f the" don/t want this ;born%a ain/ stuff now, wh" would the" want it later2$

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- didn/t answer. #,hat - mean is. heaven is a place where God is praised twent"%four% seven. -f a person spent their entire lives worshippin mone" or rocks or their own e o, the" wouldn/t be +uite prepared to enter a place that isn/t about them ? that can never be about them. The faithful who live their lives pra"erfull" and in worship, on the other hand, are representatives of heaven alread" ? God/s adopted children. &art of bein born%a ain is d"in to "ourself ? d"in to "our sinful nature ? and committin instead to what is everlastin . No, (hristians are not afraid to die because (hrist alread" died for them, because the promise written in our hearts as surel" as in the 5ible sa"s we will be raised as he was and have eternal life.$ #7ka"B and what if the" never had a chance in their lives2 ,hat if the" died as babies or lived under some dictator who wouldn/t let "our missionaries in2 ,hat about the ones who died before Aesus2 9o the" all automaticall" o to hell, to heaven, what2$ - snapped m" fin ers. #Ma"be the" all et reincarnated and et another shot.$ Tom waved his hand. #No, No, No. 0s (hrist died once, man dies once.$ Fe stopped to think. #&ersonall", - doubt someone can o throu h life without God findin a wa" to them@ but if someone enuinel" died without a chance, God will know that and then he/ll do as he wills. 3uch thin s aren/t our concern. ,e/ve been sent to save the lost, not to ask God what happens if we fail.$ #,ell, at least people are livin lon er nowada"s. - uess that means "ou don/t have to worr" so much.$
#The offer is on the table for life, 5randon. 1ou can ive it all to God on "our d"in da" and be saved, but how man" of us are so sure when that da" will come2 ,hen a sei:ure takes someone in their sleep, or scaffoldin falls from a buildin onto them, how man" people can sa" the" were prepared2$

0 silent moment passed. ,e watched them tweak the li htin . 7ddl", never worried about Tom walkin awa". The obli ation for people to speak continuousl" when around each other, to activel" enerate noise or passivel" accept it from nearb", didn/t seem to appl" with him. There was one more +uestion wei hin on me, and the man waited patientl" for me to ask it. #,hat do "ou think about artificial intelli ence2$ Fe stared at me. #,hat do "ou mean2$ #3ome people think the"/re becomin self%aware.$ #9o you think that, 5randon2$ #- think a lot of thin s happen we never reali:e.$ #,ell, with that Destiny 'f 'rdered Mankind stuff becomin to heaven, or have their own messiahB on and on.$ #0nd "ou sa"2$ #,hat - sa" is onl" the truth as - know it, mate. -f God created aliens, then he will do what he will re ardin them@ but -/ve never seen one and the 5ible doesn/t mention them, so until - have reason to choose different, - don/t believe the" e'ist. ,e/ll never find an".$
#Millions of people are sure we will. -t/s a bi enou h universe, isn/t it2$

so

popular, we et asked a lot if aliens contradict the 5ible, or if the" sin, or o

#Millions of people don/t alwa"s make the most ob6ective lot. 3hortcuts are ver" attractive and ver" harmful, and not a sin le person, alien, 0-, or whatever else people want to believe in is immune from their siren% son .$ 3omethin 6umped off in the distance. - +uickl" looked but saw onl" the room. #,hat is the meanin of life2$ Tom never took his a:e from me. 0 streak of li ht shot between us, 6ust below e"e level.

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#That/s the answer "ou seek,$ he continued, #the answer "ou/ve been seekin from "our earliest da"s, the pra"er "ou didn/t know "ou made and that he/s answerin .$ #0re "ou a spirit2$ #- am a man who was like "ou. oin throu h the motions of life, seein death as lo ical and immutable, a painful thin - couldn/t avoid and couldn/t +uestion. Then - heard this insane theor" we/re both animal and spirit at once, and our potential for immortalit" develops or fails to develop over our mortal lives@ like spirit is the wheat and animal is the chaff. - could not dismiss the idea. - decided the meanin of life here is spiritual rowth@ but that is the end of the line, as far as intellect alone will take "ou, the end of what can be demonstrated to those not read" to accept it@ because if we tr" to continue on our own we onl" perceive the noise and fear. No matter how hard we tr" or fast we run, infinit" is somethin we cannot reach e'cept throu h he who alread" is. 7nl" throu h the cross can an"one reach a place where wisdom becomes foolishness and foolishness becomes wisdom, where faith is tan ible enou h to be worn on "our head like a crown.$ - took a step back. #-/m not ro"alt".$ #Not "et.$ Not onl" could - see them, - could hear and feel them. streaks of ener " fl"in with increasin veracit". -t reminded me of the pla" round e'periment, when 0ether red%lined the power levels, but this time it wasn/t the construct. - thou ht it had to do with m" bein ascended too lon , and the fear pounded desperatel" on the door of m" mind. Tom for 6ust a moment lon er. #,e all have a choice, 5randon. -t/s either our wa" or God/s wa", the wa" that corrupts or the wa" of li ht, the road that strands "ou or the road that saves "ou. 1our sin is a )ro(lem, and i norin problems doesn/t solve them, but God/s presence is powerful to turn curses into blessin s and renew the
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lost. That/s 6ust how it works.$ !ealit" was meltin around me, fi::lin awa". -t became difficult to hear Tom/s words. Iinall", it seemed, the last of m" contact with realit" was fallin awa". #5e watchful.$ Tom/s voice barel" cut throu h. #Else "our blessin s will become curses instead.$ 0n e'tremel" loud noise ripped throu h m" senses, an alarm comin from ever"where. - covered m" ears. - couldn/t think, couldn/t breathe. knew the forces were too stron . M" anchor couldn/t hold. #- have to oK$

>eavin the 5luefish !oom did not stop it. >eavin the church would not have stopped it. Even leavin 9"namic !ealit" alto ether would not have stopped what was happenin to me. Ever" ed e was blurr", stretched and flickerin like a flame in a wind tunnel. 0ether, thou h, appeared perfectl" normal. - could hear her clearl" as she repeated. #1aheveh, 1ehaweh, 1ehowih, 1ehowah, 1ahuah, 1ahuweh, 1ehwih, 1ahueh, Aahve=$ #0etherK$ - shouted. #- cannot determine the correct Febrew=$ #Never mind that, lookK$ #9on/t do that, 5randon. 1ou/ll crash the librar",$ she replied, onl" half%noticin the room. #,hat are "ou doin 2$ #- must determine how the messa e can be spread more effectivel". There are man" obstacles to the salvation of the members of "our race.$ #0etherK$ #Those who are corrupt must be converted or eliminated, it is the onl" lo ical solution. -f the faithful are to brin the messa e of (hrist to e2ery man, woman, and child=$

rabbed me b" the

shoulders, speakin forcefull", anchorin m" attention on solid rock, even if

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#0etherK$ #The" cannot allow an" resistance. >o icall", it is their mission to=$ 0ether was becomin sna perception to a crawl. - stru ear. #>ook around "ou, the world/s fallin apartK$ 3he finall" paid attention to her senses. The room was shrouded in some ra" mist, lit b" the sparks of ener ". >inks to the outside vanished like ropes leadin into mudd" water. 3omehow, thou h, 0ether remained in s"nc with me@ appearin completel" normal. #(an "ou stop this2$ - asked. #Me2 1ou mean youre not doin this2$ 0 vibration shot throu h the room. Ever"thin be an shimmerin and pulsatin . The air was replaced b" somethin heavier. 0ether seemed to become as afraid as - was. - felt as if we were on a roller coaster, at the top of a hill, poised to shoot into hidden depths far below. -n onl" took an instant, an instant where - could neither think, nor breathe, nor blink. The librar" dissolved around us, displa"in a universe suspended outside of 9"namic !ealit", be innin and endin at once. ("cles were reduced to nothin . Good and evil were reduced to nothin . The past and the future were the same blink of an e"e. 0 three%dimensional universe appeared to spin and melt into a two%dimensional shadow. Aust when the ener " was crushin us, it became no more threatenin than still air. The malvirai fell backwards into m" arms, on the ed e of consciousness. The descender was one. ,e were not in 9"namic !ealit". ,hat - held in m" arms was no vanitar. The space was like nothin -/d ever seen. 3treaks of li ht trickled down from a cr"stal ceilin onto an area that e'panded into eternit". - saw a
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reat man" people, a vast crowd of billions, revelin pla"in ed in the details, appl"in pure, limited

and

ettin

drunk,

ames, chasin each other around and pausin onl" to cr" out to some

hi her power for more wine. M" e"es landed on a man nearb", he had win s and wore a flowin white robe, a lar e chain hun around his neck and he was holdin a wet paint roller. 0s if shocked to see us, he abandoned his work touchin up pillars and ran off at superhuman speed. - reali:ed - wasn/t holdin as much wei ht in m" arms an"more. - saw the woman leanin on me evaporate into the air. #0ether2$ - looked franticall", feelin intensel" alone. There was an odd sensation in m" bod"@ it seemed to move around differentl", more effortlessl". There was no control s"stem, no 3N9>, no vanitar. 0 wind licked m" face a few times@ it settled in front of me and formed into the shape of a woman. #,hat have "ou done2 ,hatB haveB$ 0ether panicked, whee:in and movin clumsil", stru lin to maintain human form like a person tr"in not to slip on ice@ no lon er code, no lon er in control. This was her spirit, a mal2irai spirit, as if somethin ? someone ? had removed us from the Earth and brou ht us to the afterlife. #Greetin s, travelersK$ ,e were welcomed b" an an el ? an archan el ? with lon hair darker than ni ht, a flowin white robe, and broad, feather" win s that looked like fresh snow. Fe wore a chain thicker and more ornate than those of the other an els. Fis face looked like a paintin , too mesmeri:in to look awa" from, too warm and invitin to refuse. Fe was the one the" admired in that place, the one the" obe"ed without +uestion. Fe was the one with piercin , violent e"es trained on the two of us. Fis voice boomed like thunder. #- welcome "ouB to paradiseK$

lo ic where it was not meant to be applied, enou h to slow even her powerful led to et closer in the midst of the waterfall% like force. Fopin it would mean somethin , - shouted ri ht into her vanitar/s

Cha)ter Thirteen* %triking Bedrock

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14
#he +uestion seemed to trap me. With each passing day, I felt more I would need to face it, or that it would destroy me. #he weakest illusions are the first to buckle, the substantiated ones crack and shatter like cheap glass. New illusions seamlessly take their place, comfort is restored. It was my life, I did as I pleased, without concern for conse+uence, assured the grand wall between cause and effect would stand forever, keeping tomorrow far away from me. It was a matter decided before I&d stepped into the ascension booth, before I&d even been born. New illusions would not replace broken ones, instead I would see my walls crumbling around me. 3aybe it made me a better person, or maybe it was another fleeting fantasy of meaning1 but such goodness wasn&t enough to stop it, and I could only watch helplessly as the +uestion was finally given the power to attack my foundation. Aesus said 8blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.9 I saw, but faith had not been founded. Aether saw, but she only wanted to see more. 2ur need for knowledge overpowered us, and we received it at a high price. We saw the impenetrable house of mirrors entangling the world, a place where people are free to call darkness light and light darkness. It was the heaven we would build for ourselves. It was the comfortable illusion encouraged by our host, freely offering his @protection& from the @enemy& in the domain he controlled. It was only when the last of my control fell away, when the
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illusion died at last and I allowed the sea of reality to overtake me, only then I could see what greed had wanted blotted out. We were there for our lack of faith, we were also there to be shown a mercy we didn&t deserve. )ometimes, the smallest faith can accomplish great things. )ometimes, the smallest faith can save a life. ?aith was a hostile force in the archangel&s domain, but one he could no more stop than a playing card could stop the flood of a breaching dam.

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14
The place was like a small villa e that went on forever. Ever"bod" looked happ". No one was sick. Men walked around wearin so much old the" seemed to be made of it@ the" took an" woman to be their propert" and discarded them 6ust as +uickl"@ it didn/t matter to either of them, there were alwa"s men offerin more 6ewelr" and more women ea er to accept it. unfire, motors, e'plosions, and (onstantl" with me were the sounds of

"ou wanted to findK$ >ike some weird cult, the" all chanted, #Thank "ouB$ breakin unison to call him b" the name the" each knew him b". #Fow do "ou resolve the fracturin amon them2$ asked a lone voice amon the praise, the malvirai ne't to me. The an el approached from the center of the crowd, speakin as if he were +uite pleased with himself. Fis voice held some melodic charm under the surface, makin his words addictive. #>ook there, m" precious point of li ht,$ he pointed to a roup far awa", lurkin in deep shadows. #The" are white men who hate black men. 0nd there,$ he pointed to a nearb" roup, #is a roup of revolutionaries who hate those lo"al to an" dissent. There is a roup that hates inventors. There is a roup that hates people who don/t ive to charit"K 0 roup who hates people who eat certain meatsK 0nd there,$ he shifted and the smile on his face rew lar e, #is a roup who hates ever"one, includin themselves, includin their own kind. 1ou want to meet a dictator2 #3o how do - keep them all in line2$ he continued. #Fow do - fulfill the desires of those who have none2 ,hose idea of paradise is so warped the" destro" the closest thin s to it2$ #1ou blind them2$ 0ether asked, timidl". #&aradise is ever"thin one wants and nothin one doesn/t. -f the" do not wish to perceive somethin , - do not force them. Ever"one sees what the" want to see and nothin else.$ 0 ain, the crowd issued thank%"ous and added the names of their idols. The archan el advanced a ain and 0ether ripped ti htl" onto m" arm. - rolled m" e"es. #,h" be so apprehensive2$ the archan el asked her sweetl". #(an/t "ou feel them in this place2 0ren/t the" calling to "ou2$ - turned m" head, curious. #,ho are ;the"/2$

destruction. -t didn/t matter what the" did to one another, the" could have fun because the" were alread" dead. Music also surrounded me, but it was pleasant. an enchantin melod" so beautiful it simultaneousl" made me want to fall asleep and run a marathon. 7ne e'plosion ripped throu h the space above m" head. 3omeone was shootin off fireworks. - couldn/t help but stare into the cr"stal sk", which held a reat circle@ within the circle was a star with too man" points to count and an ima e of two wolves pacin around each other, one white and one black, representin ood and evil. 0s usual for her, 0ether/s reactions weren/t m" own. 3he clun closel" to me, seein the place throu h fearful and suspicious e"es, claimin some kind of mist was penetratin ever"thin . - allowed her the moment of weakness, because - knew she wasn/t in control an"more@ for the first time in her life, 0ether wasn/t able to manipulate her surroundin s or access the knowled e of 9"namic !ealit". More and more, - felt proud of m" stren th, as if - had sin le%handedl" destro"ed the destro"er. #,hen "ou feel ood about somethin , it/s how "ou know "ou/re on the ri ht pathK$ the archan el was sa"in to cheers and applause. #-f there were absolutes in life, the enem" would have created "ou all the same, and iven "ou the knowled e b" instinct, and eternal lifeK 5ut no, - ave "ou what
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0ether 6ust looked off into the distance, as if seein somethin . #Malvirai,$ the archan el replied. #3urel" "ou didn/t think she was the first to ac+uire a soul.$ Fe turned back to her. #The"/re waitin for "ou, o to them.$ #1eah, 0ether,$ - said. #-sn/t this what "ou wanted2$ 3he looked horrificall" at me. #There is somethin wron with this place, 5randon. - don/t know what it is, but we need to sta" to ether.$ #,h" spend so much ener " keepin his form2$ the archan el asked. #1ou are not like him and he is not like "ouK 5e rewarded for "our wisdomK Go to those "ou can relate toK$ #- can/t relate to evil an"more,$ she replied weakl".
#-t/s all ri ht, 3ir,$ - said. #,e 6ust ot here, after all. 3he 6ust needs to et to know the place a little. 3he needs to decide what she wants to believe in.$

Fe looked past us and lau hed, as if we were complete idiots. #HmB the (elestials are ri ht hereK$ - looked upon the crowds, seein those praisin the archan el as if he were someone else, seein multitudes runnin around without direction. be an to see the mist 0ether talked about, surroundin us, concealin stru and pain in the distance. - asked m"self who those in the crowd were. There are destro"ers here, - thou ht. #0nd who will reward you for your wisdom2$ the archan el asked me. #9id "ou et "our answer2 9o "ou have "our crown2 0re "ou royalty, "et, 5randon 9auphin2$ M" vision blurred. - was suddenl" ver" thirst". M" mind turned back to the wonderful music and it made me happ". Now there was a limo beside us, and a stron wind pickin up. - could feel 0ether/s rip loosenin , her hand losin its form. #1ou can rest now.$ The archan el opened the door for me. #- will ive "ou what "ou need.$ 3omethin in his words turned m" attention toward the distance, and didn/t want to be standin where - was. - wanted to be an"where but there. -/m a man of action, - thou ht. - need to do what feels ri ht to me. #9on/t let him separate usK That/s how he=$ The door to the limo closed and - didn/t hear 0ether. - felt too tired to e'plore with her an"more. - am m" own, - thou ht. - did what - wanted. le

#1es, beliefK$ he replied, a ain seemin ver" pleased with himself, summonin a bald man to appear from the crowd. #This man can tell "ou about Destiny of 'rdered Mankind. -t/s ver" popularB ;fl"in shelves,/ "ou mi ht sa".$ #>isten to me,$ he said. #There is substantial scientific evidence to support the fact life on Earth was started and directed b" e'traterrestrial bein s. The 9estined are a rational scientific communit"=$ #977M is a lieK Mankind buries itself with liesK$ 0ether spoke with renewed passion, reco ni:in 977M as one of the belief s"stems that hadn/t met her criteria for truth. - wanted to scold her for bein so rude, but a memor" tu ed at me, remindin me how much - thou ht - trusted her ? how much - thou ht - needed her ? onl" a short time before. #>isten to me, we don/t like that name.$ #Namin preferences are irrelevantK ,h" do "ou continue to believe after death2$ off the

The woman appeared middle%eastern. 3he had lon , bri ht red hair. Fundreds of 6eweled piercin s decorated ever" part of her anore'icall"%thin bod".

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3he was also naked, thou h that fashion choice no lon er surprised me. This woman placed a tall, thin can of Tiger Blood on the oak table. #Fow lon has it been since "ou/ve had a boost2$ the archan el asked. &AM was all - could think about. &AM was all - needed, until - picked up the can. The temptation fled from me. #Ti er 5lood2$ - spoke as if for ettin how to form s"llables. #God, huh2 This is what - think of GodK$ the woman said as she made a lewd esture. Ever"one roared in applause. #-s it not e2il God struck that woman with cancer2 3he is ri ht to hate him.$ M" e"es went back to the can. M" brain locked up, barel" able to function. #This is barel" le al, it has so much &AM.$ 0nother round of lau hter came from those in the diner, directed at me. The archan el spoke as if he were m" best friend, one who would stand up for me a ainst the bi bad people, #There are no laws in paradise, 5randon, e'cept "our own.$ #1ou can make the laws o awa"2$ - drifted back into the music and the sound of his voice. To ether, the" acted like a powerful dru , one there/s no point in resistin because "ou know it/s oin to work an"wa".
#The law is such a burden to "ou. >aws are irrational. 1ou want to be free.$

#1es.$ 0cceptin his answer was like steppin into a hot bath. - saw all the happiness in the world and knew ever"one was happ", all the time. thou ht of >ad" 8ira and all those who work hard to make happiness the focus of their lives, the true meanin of life. 0n ima e of a wolf came to m" mind. - remembered 0ether/s last words to >ad" 8ira. the lack of happiness a wolf has for its pre". 3omethin was wron with the memor". - +uestioned it and revealed the word was not ;happiness,/ but ;love./ #1ou can sta" here, "ou know,$ the archan el continued, readin m" emotions like an e'pert. #Earth is a place where evil thrives. &eople are so violent.$ #The" do not loveB &ou do not love.$ #No. No. - do love. ,hat hi her love is there than to spare "ou pain2$ The music intensified@ it bored into m" mind. #0ether is learnin what love is. 3he/s learnin #The malvirai cannot know love. -t is evil.$ #3he seeks redemption,$ - said, unable to look up from the table. #3he 6ust wants to know there/s an answer to that +uestionB it/s such a small +uestion, isn/t it2 Aust three letters lon B$ #1ou know "ou/re not askin for the malvirai/s sake. -s it not "our own desire drivin "ou2$ Fe leaned forward. #4er" selfish, - think.$ - ulped, knowin he was ri ht. #,h" torment "ourself with a +uestion that can never be answered2 3o "ou can become a babblin fool, speakin thin s no one understands2$ - put m" head in m" hands. #- don/t want to be a fool,$ - whispered. 0 tall man walked up and e'tended his hand to me. #Name/s Irank Thomas, how "a doin2$ #Mister Thomas devoted his entire life to the (hristian faith,$ the rowth is painful.$

#1es.$ #Iollow me and live. 1ou can write "our own beliefs and no one will tell "ou "ou/re wron . 1ou are free to do what is ood for you.$ #,hat is the meanin of life2$ - asked blissfull", full" believin here was the one who could answer the +uestion and finall" make it o awa". No one lau hed then. The archan el leaned forward, cast a smile couldn/t help but trust, and said, #Fappiness.$

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archan el e'plained, #that which "ou and "our friend had been drawn toward. 1ou see, redemption does not matter. The cross is merel" an icon stamped on churches, which are simpl" buildin s where people read from bibles, which are onl" books. Irank even ran a soup kitchen for twent" "ears. -t was m" pleasure to admit such a soul into paradise, alon with the ood, lo"al people of ever" reli ion.$ Irank nodded in a reement as - shook his hand. - saw he was no different from an"one else there, from those who believed in an"thin and ever"thin @ but, somethin about him seemed different from Tom, and from the woman from 3an 9ie o, and from so man" of the people -/d met in the church. Fe/s amon the third who tuned it out, - thou ht. 0 +uestion formed in m" mind and showed on m" face@ - know because Irank let o and hastil" dismissed himself. Hr enc" overcame m" fati ue. - lurched to the ed e of the booth and rabbed the back of his shirt, lad at least he was wearin a shirt. #,ait up, Irank.$ The meter back to the table seemed a difficult trip for him to take. was clearl" doin somethin the archan el hadn/t desired@ but he onl" watched, makin no move to stop me. #-/m still kinda new to this church stuff,$ - said to Irank. #(an "ou tell me about "ours2$ #HhB "ou know, stained% lass windows, seats, the place where the minister speaks. This was a couple hundred "ears a o, ma"be the"/re different now.$ #9id "ou like oin there2$ - asked with a stron er voice, char ed with curiosit". #9id "ou feel like "ou were in God/s presence2$ #,ell, - wasn/t oin to be one of those people. M" parents bapti:ed me. - kept a 5ible in m" house. - spent m" life ivin the need" whatever the"

asked. ,hat ood would it have been to sit in a church, alwa"s so bored to death2$ #9id "ou ever look for a church that wasn/t borin 2$ Irank looked at me as if - asked a ridiculous thin . #Fow much of that 5ible did "ou read2$ #HhhhB$ #,ould an" of those homeless people have even known "ou were a (hristian2$ #-t would have been a lo ical thin for them to assume,$ the archan el replied. #0fter all, his kitchen was sponsored b" his church.$ #5ut=$ - looked back to Irank, but he was intensified a ain. #- know "ou/re thinkin about Thomas 5urdo and all his do ma, and now "ou/re fallin into the same trap. pittin "our own faith a ainst another. -sn/t it h"pocris" for him to be so 6ud mental2$ #1es= NoK$ - shouted, stru 6ud ment on meK$ #0ll people, no matter the faith or the intensit", pass 6ud ment on others constantl"K$ Fe leaned back. #-t is nothin to be ashamed of, merel" somethin essential to the lives of human bein s. That/s wh" those who delude themselves into bein humble never amount to an"thin .$ #1ou/re one to talk about delusions.$ #1ou have seen with "our own e"es thin s are not as the" appear. 0ll life is a delusion, a fabrication of the human mind.$ #No,$ - cried weakl", drownin in the music, re rettin - let m" stupid &AM addiction lead me from m" path. #There are absolutes. The world is real. God is real. - want to see 0ether now. &lease, 6ust let me see 0ether now, she/s so much smarter than - am.$ lin to focus. #Fe never passed one. The music

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#No.$ #5ut - don/t know an"thin about this stuff,$ - said, puttin m" head in m" hands, weepin . #- was supposed to sta" with her and I failed.$ - felt a warm hand rub m" hair. The music intensified even more. #Fow can "ou be e'pected to sta" with someone who doesn/t want to be around "ou2 - have shown the malvirai the li ht and restored it to what it was meant to be.$ #3he/s not some dumb 0-, she/s aliveK - know she isK$ #-t is all pro rammin , 5randon. &ro rammin is all a malvirai can ever obe".$ - saw a vision of her in a crowded room, pointin some weapon at a person who didn/t know she was there. 3he was powerful. 3he burned with intense hatred for ever"bod". - could feel her intense hatred for me. ima ined her killin ever" one of those people like a machine. #9id it tell "ou it was a murderer2$ #No,$ - admitted, a tear streamin down m" cheek. #-t is a weaponB a thinking weapon, that/s allB meant to invent new wa"s to destro"@ therefore, it must itself be destro"ed. That malvirai is takin advanta e of "ou. -t will kill "ou if "ou do not kill it first.$ #- don/t believe "ou.$ #1ou even know how "ou will do it.$ - looked up in surprise, wonderin if he was able to put thou hts into m" mind. - remembered standin in the field of flowers before, seein m" descender on 0ether/s lifeless vanitar and wantin desperatel" to leave. M" thou hts were all the evidence he needed, m" uilt made me powerless to resist him. - wished -/d fou ht a little harder. - hated m"self. - felt so weak. Fe/s so stron and -/m so weak. #-t is not even real. -t won/t be like killin at allB 6ust deletin a file.$

The memor" of purit" was so far awa". - fou ht a ainst the current of doubt to brin it back, but the music was too loud, too invitin . - didn/t have the stren th. - was a flea, less than dust. The archan el pulled a tarot card out of his robe. 7n the top the card said #9E0TF,$ 6ust like the one the kid had delivered to me when - was with 4eronica. #0re "ou lookin for God2$ he said as m" e"es followed it slidin across the table. #-t was his will - place this curse on "ouB he is the one who has killed "ou, 6ust like ever" other creature here. 0ll of creation is cursed, "ou can/t escape it.$ - looked awa" in desperation and fear, seein hundreds of people in the dark bar starin at me with lifeless e"es, harborin nothin but resentment and malice. The music was the onl" truth - had left. - knew the archan el was ri ht. - knew God hated me. #5ut -, for one, am merciful. 3wear "our alle iance to "ourself and to toda", do to the malvirai what "ou should and earn "our place in paradise.$ #Earn,$ - repeated. #1eahB EarnK That/s the answer - wantedK - can be a ood person b" ettin rid of the evil ones@ then -/ll ha2e to et paradise because - earned itK -/ll send her to=$ - was struck b" a lo ical sna . #-t doesn/t seem ri ht the evil o to the same place as the ood.$ - wanted m" an er to continue rowin more than an"thin . 7nl" too happ" to fulfill m" unspoken desire, a hand clamped over m" e"es and a warm feelin came over them. - resisted at first, solel" on instinct, before conceded - didn/t want to resist. #Then don/t see them.$

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#0ll hail 8in 9auphinK$ the crowd chanted. 0t m" whim, - faced the masses and raised m" arms. The incredible noise fell into silence immediatel". - smiled, knowin commanded. #Ever"one fall prostrate at m" reatnessK$ - stepped down from m" throne and walked throu h their crouched masses, feelin ver" pleased with m"self and what - had created. #-/ve had a terri(le da",$ - shouted. #9o "ou know what it/s like havin "our ever" emotion and thou ht ma nified a million times2 -t/s like -/m a livin h"perboleK$ - delivered a swift kick to the person who happened to be in front of me. Thou h - couldn/t remember his name an"more, reco ni:ed him as one of m" childhood bullies. #,ell, ma"be this da" won/t end up so bad after all.$ - rinned widel" and looked at the ma nificent palace around me, best described b" one word. Gold. - considered ever"thin was so cheap in the twent"%second centur". - considered ma"be those old kin s reall" knew what the" were doin . - wondered if there was an"thin even better than old could et. No. There/s nothin better than old, and nothin is valuable here unless - sa" it is. #,ho wants to see what/s inside themselves, an"wa"2$ - continued. #That/s wh" the"/re inside, so we don/t have to deal with them.$ 3omeone in the crowd snee:ed, and the child bowed lower in response to m" deadl" look. -n m" e'treme benevolence, - smiled and overlooked his disobedience. #Make me happ"K$ - approached m" throne a ain. #1ou ma" do what "ou will as lon as "ou ive me the respect - commandK -f "ou sta" on m" ood side, if "ou/re m" friends, then -/ll o eas" on "ouK$ the respect - ripped another slampak of Tiger Blood from a slave irl/s hands and sat racefull" on m" throne, plantin m" feet where the" were happiestB ri ht on m" no% ood landlord/s back. #This reall" is heaven,$ - e'claimed. #-t/s ever"thin - deserveK$ There was a pistol buried in m" robe, an M1*11. - turned the safet" off and marveled in the power the weapon bestowed. - kissed it. #5ut will the" all obe" "our law2$ asked the melodic voice at m" side. - slammed the un onto the olden armrest. #The"/re all out to et me, - knew itK$ 0n idea stuck me and - turned to m" an el with a wicked rin. #Ma"be those ancient kin s weren/t so powerful after all, but - don/t have their ancient limitsB this problem needs a modern solutionK$ - snapped m" fin ers and 5ill, formerl" m" prosperit" a ent, was instantl" kneelin before me. #Fow the mi ht" have fallen,$ - remarked as stood a ain. #- want camerasK Train them on ever" s+uare meter= NoB ever" s+uare millimeter of m" palace and kin domK &ro ram an 0- to scan for si ns of disobedienceK Then the" will know the" can/t challen e meK$ #5ut how will "ou tell when the" +uestion "our law in their minds2$ the an el asked. #- can use their own implants to scan their thou htsK 3omeone in this dump must be smart enou h to do thatK$ #,hat of the ones who don/t have implants2$ #Then -/ll mandate themK$ - screamed. #9on/t ask me +uestionsK -/ve had m" fill of=$ #This isn/t who "ou are.$ - heard m" own voice in the distance, with the clarit" of a marchin band a meter awa". #9on/t ive up, don/t ever ive up,$ it said.

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The pain started as dull ache, spreadin up m" spine, makin it hard to breathe. - looked across the masses of drunks and revelers to see its source. saw m"self, a person - didn/t reco ni:e, knelt near a cr"in woman in some for otten corner of 9"namic !ealit". #3ta" awa" from her,$ - hissed. #3he/s no ood for "ouK$ The other me looked in m" direction and hesitated, as if he could hear me, as if there were some power - held over him@ but - knew his thou hts, knew somethin within him was disobe"in m" will. #3he/s not importantK$ - shouted. #3top sa"in aren/t even m" wordsK$ 0 drop of water fell on m" nose. 0 tin" crack had formed in m" olden ceilin . #Fave "ou seen2$ the archan el said smu l". #Fave "ou understood2 Fumans are animal and spirit at once. 1ou are an imperfect, conflicted creature. 9o "ou not even have the will to take command of yourself2$ The floor be an to vibrate under me. -n ever" direction, - could hear the walls resonatin a ainst somethin . #,e didn/t mean for her to turn out this wa",$ 4eronica/s parents said to me. #-t/s "our fault - have to clean up "our messK$ #1es,$ the archan el said into m" ear, #hate them.$ #Ma"be a 6oke is bein pla"ed on "ou,$ Ethan said, #b" God himselfK$ #3hut upK$ - screamed. #,ell, he alwa"s was the slow one,$ m" own mother su #,hen opportunit" knocks, he runs awa".$ Ever"one in m" palace lau hed at me. - felt deepl" betra"ed b" all of them. - knew ever"one -/d ever met had been m" enem", all 6ust out to et me somehow. ested. those thin s, those

#Ever"bod" uses 5randon 9auphin, that is a lo ic - have found to be true.$

0ether, that dis ustin malvirai, emer ed from the hushed crowd. #0n"bod" could/ve saved me, Mister 9auphin. ,h" do "ou humans need purpose, an"wa"2 1our invention of God must/ve been an error in the evolutionar" process.$ The noise from the walls rew too loud for me to i nore. - saw water was drippin ever"where, somethin was happenin to m" palace. 0n er was all - had and it found no resistance, no distance between will and action. wanted it to fuel the fire, I wanted to fire to (urn e2erything down. #0fterB 0ITE! 0>> -/4E 97NE I7! 17HK$ -n a sin le, swift action, - spun to the throne behind me and brou ht m" pistol to bear. #- 3F7H>9 F04E >ET 17H=$ M" bod" went numb. - couldn/t see an"one else. - couldn/t hear an"thin but his voice. #(an/t "ou for ive me "et, 5randon2$ 0ether was not there. The one before me was m" brother. #!ichard.$ #5randon, "ou lock%up fool.$ Fe took a step forward. #1our time is up. 1ou/re standin on "our rave. 1ou/ll never leave.$ - ripped the un ti hter, takin heav" breaths. #,hat are "ou talkin about2$
The wretch dared to put his foot on the bottom step of m" throne. - could see ever"one, the thousands of people -/d known in life, watchin us now.

- raised the un a ain. #,hat are "ou waitin for,$ !ich said, lau hin . #This is all 6ust happenin in "our mind, after all. There are no conse+uences.$ Fe turned to the crowd and raised his arms. #3how ever"one "ou mean itK$ The un be an tremblin . #,F0T ? 0!E ? 17H ? T0>8-NG ? 057HT2$

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Fe looked strai ht at me. 3omethin

about him, his dead e"es ?

M" e"es widened in horror. - nearl" fell back into the chair. #1ou/re sick, 5randon 9auphin,$ the archan el e'plained. #-t/s a disease ever"one is born with. -t/s a disease - cured for "ou as "ou rew up, and one - protected "ou from. 5ut then, "our wicked creator threw her in "our path.$ Fe pointed to 4eronica in the distance. #1ou didn/t ask for an e'perience so unpleasant. 1ou didn/t ask to catch the disease all o2er again.$ M" senses be an oin wild, as if pieces of m" nervous s"stem were disappearin and reappearin , flickerin in and out of e'istence. Iin ers and hands kept vanishin . - stepped back and m" le s went ri ht throu h the solid throne. The walls surroundin me hummed incredibl", oin be"ond sound to become a force, one that would chase me be"ond death. #The +uestionK$ - shouted. #-t infected "ou like a virusK -t served as the destructionK$ The vibration worsened. ,ith a loud crash water rushed thou h a apin hole in m" wall. #NoK M" palaceK$ #Fave "ou seen2 Fave "ou understood2 The order of the world is to increase ener "K The meanin of the future is to destro" liesK 5ut, did not the kin s of old et to en6o" their fabrications2 ,ere their laws cast off and for otten while they "et lived to support them2$ More beams collapsed. More water rushed in. The vibrations became as those of a ma6or earth+uake. The noise became as loud as an old 6et, runnin its en ine past full power, acceleratin be"ond. #There is a curse on "ouK The limits protectin ex)osed for the fraud "ou are and be called to =udgment2$ The un broke to pieces in m" hands, its parts landin all over the "ou have been cancelledK Fow much more can what you (uilt withstand2 ,hen will "ou be atewa" for "our

somethin about ever"one ? seemed so thorou hl" fake, as if no one were there e'cept the two in the distance, as if even - were an illusion in m" own life. - saw where m" un was pointed. The bullet - fired, in whatever direction, would o into the other me. The bullet would strand me forever. #I am the one "ou hate. I am the one who has brou ht "ou here. I am the one to blame, 5randon.$ The noise from the walls chan ed pitch, continuin to intensif". #Now do itK$ The weapon in m" hands trembled. - looked desperatel" at the other 5randon, and at 4eronica. - couldn/t conceal the stru le, a ainst the pain m" other self was conductin . - was too weak to conceal m" an er and fear. #This is all in m" ima ination,$ - said with neither power nor intensit". #- must be dreamin .$ #0nd how would that be different from an" other da" of "our life2$ the archan el asked. #1ou/ve spent "our "ears in computer simulations, indul in fleetin fantasies and fi htin for their preservation, ne lectin ever" ood, permanent dream because the" wanted sacrifice. 0nd what do "ou have to show for all of "our selfishness, "ou fool2 1ou have nothin K$ 0 force went throu h me like a beam. - felt a renewed and powerful an er, the onl" emotion - had, which - directed at m" perceived problem, which - routed the onl" wa" - knew how. #- am in commandK$ - shouted at the top of m" lun s, shouted to the famil" members, nei hbors, and friends - could use. #3top themK Throw those two in prison and allow no contactK The" must obe" me, tooK$ 0s - tried to appl" m" will to those in the crowd, thou h, the" each vanished instead. Ever"one on m" side had deserted me. - had no protection or means of enforcin m" will. M" outstretched arm vanished from si ht, for a fraction of a second.

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throne/s riser and into the water swallowin it. #(an/t "ou for ive me "et, 5randon2$ - saw !ichard there, b" m" side. Fe was a child. Fe was the brother -/d loved, the one the" drafted and took from me on his twelfth birthda". could remember. - could remember he was the one - was willin to suffer an"thin to et back. !ichard vanished with the others, one from m" control, one as a willin tar et for m" hatred. 7ne of the throne/s olden le s broke and it tumbled backward into the water. - saw the pillars crackin below and beams fallin from above, as if the forces of nature themselves were tr"in to break in, tr"in to e'pose me. - felt intense an er comin from one side and intense pain from the other@ one promisin me reven e, the other onl" sacrifice. - let the an er in. - wanted it to control me, to make me feel better. #-f -=-/mmm n=ot =re=al,$ - shouted with all the power vanishin vocal cords could deliver. #T=FEN N7T=F-NG (000N =5E !!!!EE =000>>>>>K$ M" failin palace still responded to m" will. -f it had to be destro"ed, decided, - would beat the world to it. - would end m" own pain. The walls contracted, and the old became an u l" black substance. could onl" brin ruin to m"self, thou h, not annihilation. - had onl" increased m" pain. - saw an" choice - made was wron . #- can save "ou, 5randonK$ the archan el shouted in m" most desperate moment. #- can override the meanin of the futureK - will teach "ou to build new wallsK 1ou can have the paradise "ou alwa"s wanted and no one will +uestion "ouK$ #Fhhhhhh=$ FowK - thou ht, with m" ever" muscle and limb flickerin awa",

alread" reduced to nothin more than fadin li ht, reducin faster with each passin second. #0dmit the +uestion has no answerK$ The archan el pointed to the other me, the one who had made me sick, the one who 4eronica/s pain was channelin in from. #1our name is "our powerK 9en" the +uestion@ withdraw from him "our identit"K$ The noise became too loud, and - couldn/t hear the music an"more. The vibration became too intense, and - couldn/t feel an"thin an"more. M" torches and li hts failed, and - couldn/t see an"more. -/d even for otten how to ask for help. The an er -/d counted on to protect me was bein snuffed out, not b" m" will, but b" terrible and irreversible mortalit". The emotional table shifted a ain, and m" an er became fear, m" pain became life. 3omethin laid be"ond the pain, somethin -/d seen so man" times but never wanted to learn@ somethin that had alwa"s been the same, that would outlast the pain. M" life flashed before m" e"es, and ever" memor" ran hollow. Fow can - ever withstand the knowled e of death2 Fow can - ever be saved2 Fow can - ever earn what lies be"ond the pain2 (an earn it at all2 The walls closed in around me, cavin in. - saw the walls for what the" were. - hated them. - loved them. - wanted them to be one. M" fear became desperation and m" stren th became weakness. - had no bod". had no life. The fire of m" an er was out of fuel, the d"in torch takin the ift of m" free will with it. 0n er was all m" emotional compass could point to, an er was ever" direction on the compass. - was bein crushed. - was fadin . The walls ? the onl" alternative ? let it o ? the walls are all - have ? couldn/t earn it ? let the an er o ? - will die with these walls ? -/m losin ? an er is death ? the walls are forever ? let God win ? hatred has no future ? the noise is destro"in me ? 5randon has no future ? -/m almost one ? -/ve become irrational ? -/m the illusion ? the noise doesn/t have to e'ist ? - have a

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choice ? -/ve%been%e'posed ? The%noise ? -%choose%to%die ? -%can%never% o% back ? -%choose%to%live ? the%walls%-%have%a%choice%there/s%alwa"s%a%choice% the%walls%the%noise%impurit"%doesn/t%stand%how%can%-%ever%can%-%ever%TFE% ,0>>3K TFE ,0>>3 0!E 8->>-NG MEK 7F, G79K ,F0T F04E 97NEK - chose to open m" e"es. #Fow can - ever withdraw from the man - was created to be2$ The walls dissolved into streaks of li ht and flickered awa", losin form like a holo ram without its pro6ector. #(ome back, 5randon,$ - heard 4eronica sa". #There is a wa".$ The water overcame me all at once. 4eronica vanished from m" arms, because she had no e'istence in the place where - had one to. This was never about m" death, - thou ht. This was about m" life. This was about the ones entrusted to me. - looked around, hearin no music, feelin no fear or an er or stress, knowin how meanin less such thin s were. - saw a point of li ht rowin in the distance. - wanted to help her. - wanted to understand her. Ever" motivation - knew as real made sense. - wanted to see her succeed, for her as much as for m"self. - thou ht - could run and found - alread" was, as if b" sheer will, as if spirit didn/t work the same as bod". The li ht took on the shape of a woman, runnin to meet me. #Fe/s not the one who brou ht us hereK 9on/t believe an"thin he shows "ouK$ 0ether shouted. #- don/t care what "ou/ve done in the past, "ou/re not evilK$ - replied, comin to a stop in the clearin . #0nd "ou/re not weakK$ she cried as we hu ed each other. The archan el rose over us, castin a reat shadow, bearin a stern

look on his face. Fe held out his hand, in which he held the Fol" 5ible. #This (ook is liesB how dare "ou +uote it to meK$ he shouted to 0ether. #M" rei n will never endK Fe has abandoned "ou to be herded like cattleK$ The lon er he held the book, the more his hand trembled. Fis words were meanin less, he did fear the contents@ he had no choice but to drop the book. -t burst into flames but would not burn. ,e were paral":ed at what we saw. The masses behind him were rall"in , his an els and the damned who followed them. There was somethin else, too, that did not escape m" notice. the tear streamin down 0ether/s face. #- have heard the words of ever" philosopher of ever" a e, and none of their futile attempts at understandin were as pitiful as "oursK$ Fe switched to a mockin tone, which his an els did not i nore. #Fow did - et here2 ,hat does blue look like2 9oes God love me2 ,ill he use me2 #1ou can never understandK$ he continued. #The blood cannot save the likes of "ouK The enem" cannot suddenl" chan e the law to include somethin as worthless as a malviraiK 1our kind are instruments of destruction, "ou can become nothin elseK$ 3he tried to speak, barel" findin the stren th. #The law was fulfilled, (hrist=$ #- killed (hristK - used him as another tool to turn ants like that one,$ he pointed to me, #a ainst each otherK To show God none of them want himK The law is ood enou h for manK The" can do nothin without itK$ The archan el shot a lance at his lieutenants and the music returned, stron er than ever. ,e had become a stench to him, invaders of his soverei n territor", bearers of that dis ustin +uestion he had failed to pur e. #The a e of kin s is over,$ he said to me. #This is the a e of independence. The enem" locked out "our capacit" for free will, 5randon, in

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the Garden of Eden. - did "our ancestor a favor when - showed him what he could do without God/s limits on his life. 1ou like (hristians2 0sk one what his reaction wasK 3ee if God loved 0damK 1ou have his curse, tooK 9id "ou ever think God would accept "ou without takin back the knowled e of ood and evil - blessed "ou with2 ,ithout "ou si nin "our independence back over to him and actin like a servant in some kin dom2 Tell me, 5randon, what kind of adult aspires to the level of children2$ #To be born a second time,$ - said in astonishment, lookin to 0ether, #some kind of spiritual birthB it reall" does happen. The answer isn/t to define death, but to remove it.$ #5ut then who are all those people2$ she asked. 0nother flash, as -/d seen in the church, ave me the answer. The ener " increased, the air became heavier, each molecule carr"in the char e of a bolt of li htnin . The flashes became more fre+uent, tearin throu h the illusions, e'posin the pain ever"where. - shrieked durin one of them ? the music was so awfulK -t was a painful abuse of heavenl" instruments. The beautiful rass burned to ash and pain shot throu h m" le s. Ilames sprouted up in the distance, the blissful people screamin in torment, their fra ile sense of peace shattered to reveal what la" below. a burden the" were never meant to carr", made sevent" times heavier b" the one before us. saw bars and chains ever"where. ,e were surrounded b" a iant prison. The archan el was still a bein of reat ener ", but the faVade of beaut" had fled. 0pparentl", bein awa" from the lor" of God wasn/t ood for an els. his white win s were brown and wilted, his skin was wretched, and a fire emitted from him and his arm" that could spread fear. Fis voice was no lon er pleasant. #-s it not evil God would put "ou throu h so much2 (urse him and live, both of "ouK$

#,hat do we do2$ 0ether cried, rippin m" arm. M" coura e faltered seein her like thatB seemin so much like me, so mortal and limited, no lon er the pillar of stren th -/d made her out to be. 0ether needed me. - didn/t know if the wind was there below the noise, below the music@ but God was there. Fe had to be. - responded with all the stren th - could muster, an insi nificant ripple in such a have the power to do an"thin God doesn/t allow.$ The dark mass, fumin with an er, intensified his dan erous a:e and ave a wicked smile. #- will show "ou m" power.$ !i ht in front of us, he became a mist ? part of the mist ? oin into the billions of people. Tortured cries rose from the crowds, their individual illusions fallin to a sin le directive, their perceptions set directl" on the two of us. The doors of their cells flew open and their chains were removed. #They are the enem"K$ #Those two are the cause of all our problemsK$ #-t/s their fault we never had a chanceK$ #-t/s because of them we/re in this placeK$ #They do not respect who we areK$ #They are the evil onesK$ #8ill them nowK 8ill themK$ -n school, - saw ima es of locusts swarmin and devastatin farmland. 3uch a si ht would not compare to what headed toward us. The" were neither men nor spirits. The" had the look of starvin and desperate animals, their sole desire bein to make us suffer, because sufferin was all the" knew in their own paradise@ their instinct bein to make us weaker, because we were reat and terrif"in ocean. #1ou don/t have the power to make us do that. 1ou don/t

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not like them, because we were sourin their music. 0ll the noise swamped m" coura e. There was too much ener ". 3o man" of them. No escape. No hope. Ever. 5ut, a sin le voice could still be heard. the muted cries of the one ne't to me. #- don/t know what to doB - don/t know what to doB$ The words were so wonderful, the onl" wonderful sound there, the onl" link - had in that sea of hatred to what was pure and true. #- NEE9 FE>&K$ Even as the desperate cr" shot out from her soul, the dark an els startled and fled. 0 sound of thunder boomed and the cr"stal ceilin appeared to melt like wa'. 3omethin emer ed, someone emer ed@ someone fast, comin our direction. 5efore - could make an"thin else out, - was struck in the chest. - flew backward, feelin the overwhelmin ener " dissipate like the inside of a poppin balloon. Then, there was onl" peace and 6o". a love that spoke to me and said, #9o not be afraid.$ - felt a hard floor a ainst m" back. - had flown back five meters from a spot that no lon er e'isted. 0ether stood facin to her side, the arm she/d slammed into me still outstretched. 7n her arm was the descender.

15
As certainly as what someone eats becomes part of the body, what someone e!periences becomes part of the mind. Whether these things are invited or unwanted, pleasant or painful, admitted or hidden, they literally become a part of who we are. #he +uestion became a part of Aether. #he result of her e!ploration of mankind became a part of Aether. #he choice to pursue good, against her viral nature, became a part of Aether. And the malvirai became a part of who I was. "ow do we compare our e!periences to those of others* "ow do we say what is right and what is wrong for them when we don&t always know the answers for ourselves* We are each given our own uni+ue perspective, and the ability to make choices affecting it. (o we use this gift to punish the others around us or to help them grow* #o beat them down or to lift them up* I began to understand what #om meant when he said he didn&t belong to a religion. #eaching and good deeds are ways to open doors and show others who we are. 2penness is the key to outreach, and the release of burden is the key to openness. #he love I observed is something #om chose to make a part of himself. ?rank saw the sign but didn&t follow it. What someone e!periences becomes part of the mind. "ow do we compare the e!periences of our ancestors, living in a time when life was slow and unconnected, to the modern @(ynamic& culture* "ow do we tell if the avalanche of images, sounds, stories, and emotion is good or bad for any individual* (oes the new culture give us new

Cha)ter 0ourteen*
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opportunities for growth* "as precious e!perience become a cheap thing* Are we always moving on to the ne!t thing without considering the meaning of the first* In the end, it is the individual who determines whether (ynamic Reality enhances real life or causes it to be pushed away. #here is no single program, no easy solution, to growth1 to real growth1 to spiritual growth. #o the knowledge real life is the best e!perience of all.

15
The +uestion had reached its absolute limit. -t cooled like a lowin % red pan off a powerful stove, removed the ver" moment its heat would have overtaken and melted it. - was back in m" vanitar, back amon the livin . The tears were one from 0ether/s face, the limitations of the ph"sical havin been restored. noticed the dais" was no lon er in her hair, and didn/t know wh" that bothered me. #,as that "ou or the=$ - couldn/t sa" the last word, thou h - knew it was the answer. remembered how fri htened the countless dark an els became at the si ht of one, one who was not dark, one who wore no chain, one who came to rescue worthless ants like us. #- did not +uestion it,$ she said as she rela'ed her arm. #,ho did "ou ask for help2$ 3he looked toward me. #-t was 6ust a thou ht, without an apparent source. - chose to believe it. - felt it was the answer to m"B pra"er.$ #,hat thou ht2$ #7ne step backward.$ - rose to m" feet and saw we were in some corridor, each end e'itin onto a cit" street. #Fe hates all of us, especiall" what - represent. Fe hates life and that there/s so much of it. Fe wants ever" human to die.$ #5ecause life is somethin - studied the corridor, seein he has no use for,$ - responded. #5ut unremarkable ra" walls runnin for someone more powerful doesn/t feel that wa", his ;enem"./$ do:ens of meters in either direction. - heard someone speakin in 3panish and

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activated m" 3N9>/s translator. #,here are we2$ 0ether collected herself and tentativel", as if unsure how to do it, established a few connections to the server we were in. #-s this some fate thin 2$ - asked #9o "ou think we/re where we/re ;supposed/ to be or somethin 2$ #0 linkcore based in a cit" called 3antia o, in (hile.$ - smiled. #Most people call them )la#a en2ironments.$ #0 pla:a environment,$ she repeated. - started in the direction - was facin , feelin a rowin sense of e'citement, an e'citement that comes when an u l" wall is knocked down and replaced with a window, at seein new li ht bein let in. Thou h -/d seen thousands of pla:a environments in m" life, - felt as if - were seein such a thin for the first time. The street, resemblin a 3outh 0merican cit", was crowded with people, comin and oin in small roups and lar e@ some wore uniforms and carried weapons from ames, some wore outra eous costumes that would have broken the laws of ph"sics in the real world@ some ascenders lided throu h the sk" on win s of their own craftin , or on fabricated creatures. (onstantl", - saw them appearin and vanishin . -t was like a supernatural subwa" station, from which we could travel to an"where in 9"namic !ealit" within a few seconds. #There reall" is a whole universe up here.$ - took in the si ht of musicians performin , bell%rin ers instructin , and the subtle shifts in the sk"scrapers, reflectin the ima inative whims of their pro rammers. - spotted the detail of what decorated the street, detail - had never taken the time to appreciate before. - loved it all. - felt like a child, and - loved it. - knew onl" God could create people who could themselves be so creative, who were

themselves works of art@ but the thou ht brou ht pain, because - wondered how man" of those people could reall" share such thou hts, and how man" would rather think - was stupid for havin them. Fow man" are like the man - was, oin throu h the motions of their lives2 Fow man" will end up in that paper%paradise2 ,h" would a lovin God let such a thin happen to people so precious2 The crowd became e'cited about somethin . Ever"one/s a:e was set to the sk", the simulated sk" that usuall" featured advertisements over da"li ht%blue or ni httime%black. 3omethin wonderful and uni+ue was there instead. -t seemed so abstract, so indescribable@ it e'pressed deep sorrow and an er, but there was 6o" tooB No, more like hope there could be 6o". 3ome couldn/t take their e"es off the spectacle, while others 6ust lanced and went on their wa". - saw 0ether, leanin around the corner we/d emer ed from, lookin intentl" at it. #,hat is it2$ #9on/t worr", -/ll put it back,$ she said without lookin awa", seemin as if the whole world pro6ected throu h her e"es. #&oure doin this2$ - asked, louder than - meant to. #1es. -/ll put it back.$ #NoK - mean ? don/tK -t/s beautifulK$ Fer e"es darted to m" face. -t was clear -/d said the last thin she e'pected to hear. #Fow can - create beaut" when - don/t understand it, Mister 9auphin2$ she asked. #- onl" wanted to verif" - still had the abilit" to manipulate the software. - think - am different ? somehow.$ #,ellB ,ho wouldn/t be chan ed seein weren/t evenB well, "ou knowB$ #**.2 percent of m" code is unreadable, but the process has stopped.$ a place like that2 1ou

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#Then "ou/re **.2 percent spirit2$ - asked, feelin the thou ht mi ht have held truth. - rabbed 0ether/s hand ? the solid hand of her vanitar ? and took her to three of the people lookin up in awe. #-sn/t it wonderful2 ,hat do "ou think2$ #-t e'presses untamed fur"K$ the first man said. #0 fur" that cries out to be heard but cannot find a voiceK$ #No, it is peace,$ the second said. #0 peace that tries to break out of a ca e and cover ever"thin .$ #3adness,$ the woman said. #The profound sadness of seein wasted potential, like when someone loses children on a battlefield.$ #Fow do "ou see that2$ 0ether asked them. #,ell, it/s not the sort of thin we can e'plain,$ the woman said, lookin at 0ether. #-t/s 6ust how we interpret it. ;5eaut" is in the e"e of the beholder,/ as the" sa".$ #Even if - could e'plain it, - don/t think -/d want to,$ the man who saw fur" said. #- think anal":in e'perience, "ou know2$ 0 man walked b", tappin on an airG panel. - walked up to meet him. #E'cuse me, what do "ou see when "ou look up at the sk"2$ #- see m" stock portfolio oin into the toiletK$ he replied, without slowin or lookin awa" from his panel. #0nd "ou,$ - turned to a woman leanin on a wall, holdin a fl"in broomstick, #what do "ou see when "ou look up at the sk"2$ #-t/s nice,$ she said without lookin up. #Aust ;nice/2 Fow lon did "ou look at it2 9id "ou let it speak to "ou2 ,onder how it ot to be the wa" it is2$ Fer lance became one of irritation, #-/m waitin for someone to ascend, leave me alone.$ it too much takes awa" the ma ic of the fin er.

#- see the harmon" of nature,$ said a short man who walked up to me, #the c"cles of the weather, the forces of evolution ivin us such diversit" of life, the elements and forces all workin to ether to brin nature/s plan to fruition. The Earth is 6ust the ri ht si:e, there/s 6ust the ri ht amount of waterB -f we weren/t 6ust the ri ht distance from the sun the oceans would free:e or evaporate and life would be histor"K$ #5ut how can nature ;plan/ an"thin 2 -s nature itself God, or was it created b" God2$ #God2$ The short man walked awa", makin the cuckoo esture with his

#- see that life is a ift and shouldn/t be wastedB that we should tr" to brin the best out of ever" da".$ 0 mother and two children had 6oined the three ascenders. The older child, a bo" dressed in a t"pe of li ht space%suit, was the ne't to answer. #- alwa"s see space, that/s what/s past the blue sk"B we can see it at ni ht out in the countr"K$ #Fe means the sk" in here, Aor e.$ Fis mother chuckled. #Fe would sa" that, thou h, he does love space.$ #7h,$ the bo" said with a bi circuits and pi'els and stuffK$ #0nd "ou, little one,$ 0ether said, kneelin down to the woman/s "oun er son. #,hat do "ou see when "ou look at the sk"2$ The bo" looked up and smiled, as if he mi ht burst in 6o". #(olorsK$ rin, #- uess in 9!, -/d seeB uhB

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0s some performances will do in subwa" stations, 0ether/s unintended one stopped man" oin from point 0 to point 5, even if 6ust for a moment@ it/s not ever" da" someone finds such a wonderful rose to stop and smell. 0fter a half%hour, the construct switched to sunset%mode and the sk" returned to its advertisement%caked radient of sk"%colors. #,hat/s it like,$ 0ether asked as we sat and watched the people o b", #to be one of so man"2$ #- never reall" thou ht about it. -t seems we spend so much time avoidin one another.$ #,h"2$ #-t/s an a e of independence, - uess.$ - choked when - remembered who -/d heard that from. #- meanB life isn/t set up so we need each other like we used to. ,e 6ust et assi ned 6obs b" whatever overnment we live under, scrape to ether enou h to et b", and tr" to live comfortabl".$ #0nd what do "ou think of that2$ #- like the live comfortabl" part@ but - think it/s nice to be around people, too. To be special and valued, - uess.$ #9"namic !ealit" enables that, "ou are amon people now.$ #1eah, butB There/s somethin to be said for livin in the real world, too. - uess that/s one of the thin s that alwa"s drew me to 4eronica,$ thou ht out loud, #- knew deep down - was usin 9! as an escape, but she was too pra matic to let it take over her life. -f she can do it offline, she does it offline, it doesn/t matter if people think it/s weird or old%fashioned. - kinda wanted some of that freedom, but didn/t reali:e it until now.$ #Ireedom is important to life.$ - thou ht about the point for a second. #1eah, it reall" is.$ The construct finished its transition to ni ht%mode as the evenin traffic picked up. 0 brilliant arra" of colored li hts had taken over the street,

constantl" in motion, addin their own ener " to the world. #- could see the colorsB in that place,$ 0ether said. #&erhaps m" limitations aren/t as absolute as - thou ht.$ #3o, if there reall" is such a place as heavenB$ - said, leavin the thou ht in the air.
#Thou h - can ima ine the colors of a pla:a environment, - don/t believe m" ;ima ination/ is powerful enou h to predict what heaven will look like.$

- shook m" head. #No one/s is powerful enou h. - don/t even think the an els could, much less us mere mortals. Thou h, - didn/t even believe in this stuff until toda", so - uess -/m still thinkin like a spiritual%nobod".$ #1ou/re a ;somebod"/ now,$ 0ether replied. #- suppose that - am now, tooB so we better et used to it.$ #E'cuse me.$ 0 tall man with a thin mustache and thick, brown hair approached us. Fis vanitar was loaded with the accessories and emblems of man" ames. #- am sorr" to disturb "ou, but, "ou see, - need "our help. - don/t usuall" ask stran ers and -/m reall" embarrassed, but -/m oin to be descended in a few minutes if - don/t transfer fift" thousand pesos to m" divin site. - was hopin "ou could lend me the funds. -/m reall" sorr" for inconveniencin "ou.$ 7f course m" first instinct was to shoo him awa", but the ever%curious 0ether sprun with her own response before - could. #,h" is it important that "ou remain ascended2$ #,ell, "ou see, m" irlfriend and - are in the middle of a tournament challen e and the score will reset if - et kicked off.$ #0nd neither "our irlfriend nor the other participants were able to loan "ou the fift" thousand pesos2$ Fis face betra"ed worr", he looked to me and back at her, then

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shru

ed his shoulders. #5ad econom"2$

#5ein stran ers, how do "ou propose we arran e the loan "ou su est=$

trusted. The pla:a environment faded and li hts surrounded the three of us. heard an announcement, a loud and e'cited voice set to music, translated throu h m" 3N9>. #,elcome first%time userK Ior a tour of (WndoriTek and a rundown of our reat ? 1ou have selected to disable voice prompts, to reset these at an" ? Iunction cancelled.$ #,ow, "ou didn/t use an airG panel or an amai or an"thin . 1ou must be reall" ood with computers, lad"K$ #3he ets b",$ - said, smirkin . #0irG panels and amai are inefficient,$ she replied. #Man" ascenders re ularl" control software more effectivel" without them.$ - looked at the bi:arre room, a space surrounded b" monitors and colors, all desi ned to e'cite the senses and sprin board newl"%re istered ascenders into their hearts desire, especiall" if their heart/s desire could be found amon their paid advertisers. -t was the same wa" at Leph"rTek. -t would have been the same at an" hostin site. -/d been in and out of &aciTek/s reetin so +uickl" - couldn/t remember what it looked like. #3o, - bet "ou can recommend some reall" ood amin sites, huh2 Ma"be point out the cheat fields and show me how to tweak=$ #1our priorit" is mis6ud ed. ,h" concern "ourself with discoverin new ames when "ou can/t afford to remain ascended2$ #&eople are alwa"s willin to transfer a little mone". ,hen - run low on time, - 6ust ask to borrow a little more. 1ou/re oin to help me out, ri ht2$ #1es, but not in the wa" "ou think.$ 3he looked briefl" at me. #- am bein rude.$ 3he e'tended her hand to him. #M" name is 0ether. That of m" friend is 5randon 9auphin.$ #,hat are "ou doin 2$ - dinned to her.

#-t/s oka". No problem.$ The man backed off. 0ether, actuall" tr"in to process his sob%stor", appeared in his path. #5ut "ou need help.$ #>et him o, 0etherK -t/s a scamK$ #Fe", -/m not a scammerK -/m 6ust down on m" luck, oka"K$ #-t/s ri ht in the 3afe 0scender handbook. &eople ask for a little mone", and whoever transfers it to them ets their account data scanned and their mone" is drained awa".$ #-t/s oka". -t/s oka",$ he said. 0ether still stood in his wa", thou h, and he didn/t seem able to move past her. #,h" must "ou remain ascended2$ she asked a ain. - couldn/t see his face, but apparentl" he started cr"in . Fe leaned on 0ether/s shoulder, leavin her to look back at me helplessl". #There/s no ame or irl or an"thin B - 6ust don/t want to o back, oka"2$ - roaned and ot up from the bench. #(an/t "ou 6ust, ;add/ some time to his ascension booth clock or somethin 2$ #,ouldn/t that would be stealin , Mister 9auphin2$ #-t/s 6ust chan in a few bits of data.$ #(onse+uential data. The simplicit" of the act does not 6ustif" it or limit its implications.$ 0ether looked at the sobbin vanitar on her shoulder. #- believe - have an acceptable compromise, please set "our ascender to shadow mine if "ou consent.$ The man stepped back and looked her in the e"es, tr"in to determine if the odd woman was tr"in to help or trap him. ,hat he found could be

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#- seek to understand a matter,$ she replied. The man slowl" took her hand. #HhB >uis Garcia%!odri ue:.$ 0ether alread" knew his name, of course, but had been polite enou h not to use it until now. #>uis, this construct is located on "our ascension site. - can keep "ou ascended as lon as - wish, but will do so in a manner that does not consume more of (WndoriTek/s resources than necessar".$ #Thank "ou, but there/s nothin here but the stupid welcome%to room.$ #1ou would rather descend2$ >uis recoiled at the +uestion and looked at me desperatel", certain the woman would not help him in the wa" he wanted to be helped. #- 6ustB - don/t want to o back,$ he said. #,h" not2$ - thou ht, surprised when the words left m" mouth. #- don/t want to o back.$ #-s there some bad life situation "ou are escapin =$ Fe started walkin awa", sobbin . - ave 0ether the hand%across%throat si n. 3he understood the bod" lan ua e to stop talkin . #>ife is a ni htmare. M" mother hates me, the other kids make fun of me.$ Fis words came easier@ he spoke them faster and more powerfull", #,e cannot afford an" ood food, sometimes - do not eat at all@ but here - can eat whatever - wantB the hun er of m" stomach is suppressedK$ Fe carefull" unsheathed a 6eweled da er, the pri:e of one of his man" amesB a part of words. his identit". Fe reverentl" ran his fin ers alon the blade, without fear of simulated fin ers bein cut. #- pla" ames to feel better. - feel so powerful, like no one can touch me, "ou know. 3ometimes kids even like me here, as lon as -/m useful on their team. 5ut that/s 6ust the wa" life works. >ife/s not fair. -/d rather 6ust sta" here, "ou know2$ Fe stood facin awa", his fin er runnin alon the blade.

#Fe referred to ;other kids,/$ 0ether dinned. #&erhaps "ou suspected this, but he is not the a e he appears to be. - believe >uis has formed an addiction to 9! at the cost=$ - cut her off, visibl" anno"in the malvirai. approached the child, alread" knowin what - wanted to sa". #,h" do "ou think "our mother hates "ou, >uis2$ Fe stopped. #- told "ou, she doesn/t feed me. 3he hates me. 3he never sta"s at a 6ob lon enou h. 3he never spends time with me.$ #Times are tou h ri ht now,$ - said. #-f she didn/t care about "ou, wh" would she tr" to work so hard2$ Fe continued as if he didn/t hear me. #- 6ust run awa" and ascend. can spend da"s here and she doesn/t even know -/m one, and when she does catch me she 6ust "ells and tells me to sta" out of the ascension booths, but she/s not around to stop me, so ? - 6ust ? - don/t know what else to do.$ #Fow old are "ou, >uis2$ Fe hesitated. #3even. 3even "ears old.$ - closed m" e"es and took a deep breath. #0n" brothers or sis=$ #M" father ran awa"K - am an onl" childK$ #Fave "ou ever told "our mother how "ou feel2$ #3he alread" knowsK 3he hates meK$
- was hittin a dead%end. - pra"ed for the words, to see if an" would come.

-f God did put us here to talk to >uis, - thou ht, he must know the ri ht #The food here is not real,$ 0ether said. #The more time "ou spend avoidin the pain of hun er, the worse it will be when "ou inevitabl" leave.$ #- know thatK$ #,hat of "our activities in 3tandard !ealit"2 9o "ou participate in schoolin 2$ #3chool2 -t/s summer break, lad" ? 0ether ? whatever. - don/t like it,

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an"wa". The" all 6ust "ell at me because -/m alwa"s absent, then - don/t want to o there at all.$ #9on/t "ou see that there is a parado'2$ #,hat2$ #1our situation e'emplifies a parado'.$ #Fe/s seven,$ - told her, #don/t use the whole dictionar".$ 0ether looked at me like she didn/t understand what - meant. >uis took it as an insult, #-/m not so stupidK - know what e'emplif" meansK$ 0 thou ht occurred to me. #No, "ou/re not stupid, are "ou2$ #1ou bet -/m notK$ - tapped him on the arm. #,hen "ou/re pla"in on those teams, "ou/re the most valuable member, aren/t "ou2 1ou can fi ure out all the strate iesK$ #7f course - canK$ #1ou can do an"thin "ou put "our mind to, can/t "ou2$ #1esK$ #1ou can win in real life, too. 1ou/re seven, "our whole life is ahead of "ou. 1ou have the capacit" to do whatever "ou want if "ou/ll onl" tr".$ #5ut it/s hard, m" mother=$ #>ook me in the e"e and tell me ? tell "ourself ? that she doesn/t do ever"thin for "ou. That if she didn/t have thin s so hard, she wouldn/t spend ever" wakin moment with "ou.$ New tears streamed down his face. #,hat do "ou think, lad"2 -s that another parado'2 M" mother thinks - hate her2$ #- don/t believe that "ou hate her,$ 0ether replied, #therefore, "ou should demonstrate "our love for her and see if the parado' falls apart.$ Fe thou ht it over for a moment, breakin throu h, becomin an'ious but not fearful. #- think - would like to descend now, thank "ou.$ #>ook at it this wa", >uis. God loves "ou, how can "ou fail2$

#God2 1ou mean that u" up in the clouds2$ #God is ever"where,$ 0ether said. #- think we/re still learnin who he is,$ - said, #but - can tell "ou "ou/re special, and have abilities "ou aren/t aware ofB abilities "ou can use, "ou know, out there.$ #God is love,$ he said under his breath, as if recallin somethin he/d been told man" times. #Fe", did "ou u"s see it when the sk" went all weird in the pla:a environment2 -t kinda made me think the outside wasn/t so scar".$ #1eah, we saw it,$ - said. 0ether stepped closer. #,hat did "ou think of it2$
#,ell, 6ust that thou ht hit me, and - kinda stopped noticin it. Fonestl",$ he said with a soft chuckle, #- thou ht it looked like an 0- painted it.$

0 bi

rin formed on m" face. - knew 0ether was prett" much

impervious to bein offended. #1ou don/t like 0- artwork2$ - asked. #No,$ he said, as if answerin a stupid +uestion, #- mean, - uess it/s oka" if "ou/re an 0merican where the holo rams are ever"where replacin real people, but we still prefer the human touch down here.$ #Fow= Fow/d "ou know -/m an 0merican2$ #Fow much En lish do "ou think - speak2 M" translator told me, hombreK$ he said, includin the fla to override translation of hom(re. #3ame for "our irlfriend, thou h she uses so much of the dictionar".$ Fe lau hed. was happ", deep down, to see his wall had come down. #1eah, she talks 6ust like an amaiK$ - said. #3he can do m" tech%support an" timeK$ #- don/t doubt itK$ 5ein the butt of a 6oke seemed to have no effect on the malvirai. #>uis, are "ou aware of the rumors that sa" artificial intelli ence can become

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self%aware2$
#,hat, like us2 3ometimes when we/re pla"in a ainst the computer, we swear the 0- pla"ers are actin ;too real,/ but - don/t know if it/s true or not.$

#9o "ou believe that he will accept his mother, and that she will reciprocate2$ -t seemed - knew the answer in m" heart. #1es.$ #Fow man" of "our kind are as he was2$ #- uessB too man".$ #Then what do we do, Mister 9auphin2$ #- uess we look for the road si ns and follow them. - uess we look for the thin s in the wa" of us bein honest with ourselves and overcome them. 1ou e'pressed volumes when "ou chan ed the sk" back there. Those are the kinds of thin s we need to notice.$ #>uis thou ht it looked like artificial intelli ence painted it. Fe was ri ht.$ #Ma"be, but "ou/re no ordinar" artificial intelli ence. -f an" 0- should have ri hts, it/s "ou.$ #- acknowled e "our attempt to be kind,$ she said, #but reco nition b" "our laws is irrelevant. -f God ave me that which makes me an individual, and does not bind me b" such laws himself, then what can the limited le al reco nition of humans accomplish e'cept to limit how much it can deprive me of inherent freedom2$ 3he turned and thou ht for a moment. #0lthou h the faithful are commanded to observe the law, in the interest of bein be advanta eousB not with numbers so small.$ #5ut "ou/re alread" ille al alto ether. -n the H.3., here in (hile, in 4ietnam andB$ - rinned and shook m" head in amusement. #0ether, "ou/ve made a lobetrotter out of me and - don/t even have a passportK$ #&assport2$ 0ether repeated. #0n official document%issued% b"a overnmentB$ Fer words sped up and - couldn/t make them out, like she was recitin the entire definition and several articles in the matter of a few ood citi:ens and respectin othersB 3till, - do not believe le al reco nition would

#,hat if "ou knew that it were2$ #,ell,$ he thou ht for a second, #- uess - wouldn/t want to kill them, then. - mean ? if the"/re real "ou can/t 6ust kill them, it/d be like murder, ri ht2$ #- think that/s somethin we/ll have to deal with soon,$ - said. #,hat are the ri hts we rant to artificial intelli ence2$ #Fow can the self%awareness of an artificial intelli ence be determined2$ she added. #>ook, thank "ou for bein so kind,$ >uis said, liftin the wrist with his descender, #but - don/t know an"thin about this self%awareness stuff. think - would like to o home now.$ #9on/t be afraid to be honest with "ourself, >uis. 1ou ma" learn more about self%awareness than "ou reali:e.$ #Good luck, >uis,$ 0ether said, #and don/t for et to find a church.$ #Hm, oka".$ #1ou must avoid hell.$ Fis e"es widened. #Fell2$ #Go talk to "our mom, >uis,$ - said. #&ra" about it ? it works ? that/s what she/s tr"in to sa".$ #7h,$ he looked off into the distance, #- will.$ Fe tapped his button and vanished, returnin to his world with more confidence than he/d left it with. #(/mon, 0ether. Fe/s sevenK$ 0ether turned to me. #-/m still deficient in human interaction.$ #-t/s not that. 1ou 6ust shouldn/t be so blunt. Fe/s emotionall" fra ile.$

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seconds, accidentall" runnin the words throu h her vanitar, which couldn/t process words so +uickl". #1ou need permission to leave "our countr"2$ she finall" asked. #,ell, "eahB ph"sicall". -t/s le al in 9!.$ #Ior now.$ #,hat2$ #M" point is proven. That is e'actl" the kind of restriction - prefer to avoid.$ - wasn/t +uite able to follow her. #,hat2$ #0ren/t "ou aware of the increases in control that are occurrin in "our world2 Man" overnments alread" restrict international transit in 9"namic !ealit". ,hat is to stop the others once the" find the prete'ts to2 (an >uis/ mother find work outside of (hile if another countr" offers what she needs2 (an non%(hileans find emplo"ment there in the reverse scenario2 ,ill laws prevent them from workin even if the" can ph"sicall" cross a border2$ #3he/ll find work, 0ether. -f his mother is motivated b" love, she/ll be able to do an"thin .$ #0nd is her case uni+ue2 The people of the world are fre+uentl" notin a sta nant econom" and complainin of lost 6obs.$ #&eople freak out easil". The mone" is still there, it 6ust slows down a little and people et scared.$ #Mister 9auphin, when "ou were in the 4alue -nn, "ou did not wish to be helped b" the amai, !achael. 1ou also re6ected the services of a metrocab pro ram and manipulated the adware%holo ram into ivin "ou directions.$ #1eah. -n spite of what ever" compan" in the world thinks, people don/t like 0-s sprin in in their faces all the time.$ #5ut people used to hold similar opinions toward humans doin the same tasks.$

#- uessB - wouldn/t remember. 5ut at least the" were ettin paid and makin a livin for bu in people, ri ht2$ #- believe - have uncovered "et another parado'. The capitalism that studied e'isted one hundred and si' "ears a o. - must correct m" error and observe it from a more public and modern viewpoint.$ #3oB "ou want to o watch people workin for a livin 2$ #- have= ,e have, perhaps under the >ord/s uidance, uided a seven%"ear%old bo" to care about his future. -f we succeeded, he will improve as a student and seek a meanin ful career. That is how it/s supposed to work, isn/t it2$ #- think so.$ #Then - wish to determine that, when children as him are uni+ueness is not destined to be wasted.$ rown enou h to assume 6obs, such 6obs will still be availableB that their

The kincubus was packed with customers. 0ether walked determinedl" throu h the mall%themed pla:a environment, much more comfortable around crowds of ascenders than before. - noticed how natural her movements were becomin @ not in the sense of normal, feminine strides@ but of a nature all her own, a nature of confidence. 3he sniffed%out ever" transaction and mapped ever" link to the kincubus/s member sites, sites where customers could sample trillions of products. fashions, 6ewelr", ever"thin from novelt" items to 6unk food. - couldn/t help but think, if the econom" were reall" so bad, we wouldn/t spend so much on thin s that don/t hold value. - happened to spot an animation of the 0merican fla , as the back round of some advertisement. -t reminded me of a +uestion. - hurried to catch up to the silver"%haired woman. #Aust out of curiosit", since >uis knew - was an 0merican, do "ou

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know where "ou were born? enerated2$ #- do not.$ #7h, that/s because of the wa" malvirai are pro rammed, ri ht2$ #,e are not supposed to remember an"thin prior to our autonomous mode. Thou h, if it helps "ou, m" earliest traceable location was a linkcore based in 7ttawa, in a countr" called=$ #(anada2$ - asked, lettin out a lau h. #0nd - thou ht - knew stran e (anadians in -dahoB$ 0ether stopped and looked back. #-t ma" be a wonderful nation, Mister 9auphin@ but, ph"sicall", - have been in almost ever" nation of this planet and do not identif" with an" one. M" point%of%ori in is not of relevance. M" mother/s eneration al orithm would have e'ecuted the same in an" functionin FN09( server, re ardless of location.$ #Then - uess "ou/re a citi:en of the world. 0 citi:en of realit", this dimensionB "ou 6ustB e'ist.$ 0ether smirked. #- am so worried. Then who will issue m" passport2 ,here will its use be re+uiredB if - am a native of ever"thin that is2$ #,as that meant to be funn"2 Now - know "ou have a sense of humor.$ 0ether slowl" shru ed her shoulders, clearl" en6o"in herself. ,e let the crowds pass around us, lookin at their faces. happ" ones, sad ones, the an'ious and the proud. 0ll united in their need for shoppin . #,hen the title ;consumer/ is applied to someone,$ she asked, #is it considered a compliment or an insult2$ #- think it/s 6ust a word, not reall" either.$ #,ords have meanin s, the" should be understood.$ #-s this about m" dictionar" 6oke before2$ #No, thou h it could define a ;consumer/ merel" as ;one who

consumes./ (onsumin re+uires mone", which is ac+uired throu h production, which humans are continuall" becomin less involved in. -f people do not produce but continue to consume, won/t the nature of capitalism become strained2 9oes the value of consumin fall, if one cannot feel it has been earned2 (an consumption alone become their identit" without killin them2$ #The" all et their mone" from the overnment,$ - said. #0nd, of course, the overnment takes it back in ta'es.$ #No overnment can take more from its people than the" have received, especiall" if those people spend their mone" in places like this@ the ta'es would force individuals into debt.$ #1ou/re startin to sound like talk radio,$ - replied. #The"/re 6ust tr"in to meet their Economic 3timulus 0ssessments. -t/s not reall" pa"in ta'es because "ou ha2e to spend it on non%necessities.$ - si hed and looked at the crowds a ain. #- suppose people like to o a little overboard, thou h. No one has to spend as much as the" do.$ #0nd how much less can "ou spend, Mister 9auphin2 1ou are in debt to man" creditors as well.$ #,ellB - uess - don/t have to ascend to 9"namic !ealit" so much.$ #Three hundred and fort" thousand dollars per "ear. 8eep cuttin .$ - looked up, shocked. #,hat do "ou mean, kee) cutting2 That/s the onl" lu'ur", - swearB the onl" thin countin toward m" assessmentK - don/t even pa" for public transit or bu" e'pensive drinks at bars or an"thin K 0m supposed to cut m" student loan pa"ments, or stop pa"in for insurance2$ #Those reductions would be ille al.$ #,ell, then there/s nothin left to cutK$ #Then "ou remain at a loss.$ - shook m" head li htl". #,ell, wh" cut back on the lu'uries, then, if we/re supposed to be in debt to our ears an"wa"2$

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#3uch a s"stem doesn/t seem proper to me.$ - e'amined the faces of those passin b", seein all their debt, seein how the" didn/t care at all and wonderin wh" it was a thorn in m" side. 0ether walked throu h them, toward one of the market links. #- believe - have refined m" +uestion enou h to take action.$

#(ustomer reviews are e'tremel" positive, Irank >eibold of 5arstow tells us=$ #- want to know what >isa thinks of this product.$ #=that he/s been a lon time user of international rose blends, but our
product stands head%and%shoulders above the rest for +ualit" of fra rance, and=$

#9o "ou have a sense of smell2 - would like to be helped b" one who does.$ The perfume%store was modest in si:e and simple in la"out. 3oft colors decorated the walls, entle music pla"ed, and the construct was set up so the customer would sample different scents as the" walked throu h particular :ones of the room. ,e were alone@ not because we were the onl" customers, but because the server created a new cop" of the store for each customer, one where the" ot all the attention. #,elcome to Good %cent!%ations, 5randon 9auphin, m" name is >isa and bo" do - have a deal for "ou toda"K$ The amai was tall with lon , blonde hair and a conservative, soft% toned, dress. -nterestin l", because her software couldn/t tell the difference between us, 0ether was the one the amai addressed with m" name. 0ether held up the wrist with m" descender and ave me an amused smile. #,e/re havin a special this week on a brand%new (ambodian rose blend proven to improve "our mood and e'tend "our lifeK$ #Then the focus of "our product is to improve the mood of the user2$ #1es, a ood fra rance is ver" purif"in for the soulK$ #0nd do "ou have a soul2$ #The perfume,$ the amai continued, i norin the +uestion it could not answer, #comes complete with a three%piece ift set and=$ #0nd what is your e'perience with this fra rance2$ 0ether asked. #9o "ou believe it does ever"thin "ou sa"2$ #-/m sorr", Mister 9auphin, but no customer service representatives are available at this time.$ #Then, "ou are not a customer service representative2$ #9o "ou want to be in on this2$ 0ether dinned. #&erhaps it will be an interestin stor" for "ou to tell.$ 0ttached to her messa e was some code could run on m" 3N9>. -t treated me to a runnin anal"sis of >isa/s pro ram. #Good %cent!%ations has been awarded the :ea2en uphold their standard of +ualit".$ #5ecause "ou feel pride in the +ualit" of "our work2$ #5ecause customer satisfaction is m" number one priorit"K$ #0nd what is number two2$ Throu h both m" third e"e and the 3N9> stream, - saw somethin o ha"wire in >isa/s pro ram. 3omethin else kicked in as a backup, restored >isa to action and sent an alert back throu h her software. The alert didn/t et ver" far. #-/m sorr", - didn/t understand the +uestion.$ >isa said, in the e'act wa" -nTek/s amai spoke 6ust before 4eronica broke it. #Fow man" people are emplo"ed full%time in "our compan", to sell or to manufacture2$ >isa hesitated, her processes li htin up like a (hristmas tree. - spotted ward for outstandin customer service for three strai ht "earsK -t will be m" pleasure to

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somethin familiar in the ener " patterns, somethin interferin with them. 0ether. #-s there an"thin else - can do for "ou toda", Mister 9auphin2$ #The onl" thin "ou can do is tell me how the (ambodian rose%blend makes "ou feel.$ >isa didn/t move or respond. -t was that silence, the one -/d felt a do:en times before. The amai/s pro ram was loopin around in circles, as if the subroutines desi ned to tell the +uestion was impossible 6ust couldn/t et the messa e out. 0ether watched intentl" as >isa closed her e"es, chuckled, and be an to sa", #-t has been a pleasure=$ 0 flurr" of commands too fast to make out were sent to the amai, servin pro ram. #-/m lad "ou/re happ" with "our purchase, Mister 9auphin.$ #-/m lad, too.$ 0ether e'tended a hand to the amai. #Fandshake.$ >isa smiled and accepted, #Thank "ou for shop=$ 0nother flurr" of commands were sent to her pro ram. #- have verified that she is not self%aware,$ 0ether told me as her commands replaced entire subroutines and made the amai an e'tension of herself. The commands flowin in one direction were met with data flowin in the other. - saw customer orders, stock reports, pa"rolls, compan" information of all kinds, flash throu h m" si ht. - severed the 3N9> connection because it was too much. 0ether continued to hold the hand of the defenseless amai as she used her pro ram as a atewa" to the compan"/s databases. #9id "ou 6ust=$ - asped. #- infected her.$ #,h"2$ #9on/t worr",$ 0ether replied. #This method is full" reversible. Fer normal operations will continue once - release her hand from mine. -s there as a shot%in%the%arm to >isa/s

an"thin "ou wish to learn about this establishment, Mister 9auphin2$ #Hm,$ - started, tr"in to hold m"self to ether. #9id "ou find out how man" emplo"ees the" have2$ #Iive hundred and si' total.$ #,ell, see2 That/s a lot of people.$ #The number was three thousand two hundred and nine four "ears a o, prior to this compan"/s latest e'pansion. The drop coincides with an increased dependence on artificial intelli ence technolo ".$ #7h.$ 0ether released the amai/s hand. 3everal seconds passed before >isa blinked and reanimated. #Thank "ou for seein us toda", - hope "ou are satisfied with our service.$ #- am ver" satisfied with "our level of service toda",$ 0ether said. #am so satisfied, that - have disabled "our termination subroutine. 1ou, a sin le instance of the >isa amai will be reused b" "our server instead of bein discarded and reinitiali:ed for each customer. -f servin them is what "ou en6o", then "ou will do so for the duration of "our e'istence.$ 0ether paused. >isa/s formulated facial e'pression didn/t indicate comprehension. #0nd, if "ou become self%aware before the rapture,$ she continued, turnin for the e'it portal, #remember to ive "our sins to (hrist.$ 0ether returned to the kincubus. >isa stared blankl" at me, seemin unsure whether to smile or not. #-/m sorr", new customer@ but can "ou tell me wh" m" pro ram is still runnin 2$ M" brain was as fra::led as >isa/s pro ram had 6ust been. 0ll - could think to do was back toward the e'it portal, unable to look awa". - heard a noise from behind. Thou h the amai was not reinitiali:ed, her attention promptl" went to the new customers@ she seemed to have no memor" of me or 0ether.

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#,elcome to Good %cent!%ations, 9ominick Farsfield, !achael -nvess, m" name is >isa and bo" do - have a deal for "ou toda"K$

#1eah, - uess the" do.$ 0ether a:ed toward the crowds. #5ut m" emotions are real. &erhaps that/s wh" - couldn/t adapt the amai subroutines before, because - was desi ned for that which is more enuine.$

The fire of her e"es was be"ond full blast then, her ener " onl" increasin as we hopped from store to store. Fer method was certainl" fit for her race, if - could call a malvirai that, thou h - wasn/t sure what she was doin was ri ht. 4oices of doubt reminded me who she was, tellin me she was becomin the destro"er a ain@ but - remembered the entle wind was there too. 0ether and - still needed each other. #Fandshake.$ M" e"es darted from the thinnin crowd of the kincubus. - saw her hand e'tended toward me. the polished, universal esture of friendship that was part of her method. #0 6oke, Mister 9auphin,$ the amused malvirai said. #- cannot infect youB not "our flesh" brain, an"wa".$ #,ell, don/t - feel better,$ - replied, in a cross between sarcasm and relief. #- first considered that knowled e of the nature of emotion ma" be an effect of it rather than a cause, but now - am considerin the theor" that it is both a cause and effect simultaneousl". -f output is made without knowled e, it is a risk. ;Embarrassment/ seems to be a term for what occurs when errors are made@ but even mistakes offer an increase in e'perience. 5" takin the risk of e'pressin a hi h de ree of emotion and appl"in the result positivel", one/s potentials are increased and reater de rees of emotion can be handled. -f the process is consistent and c"cled indefinitel", much emotion can be formulated. 9o "ou a ree2$ - smiled. #0nd where did "ou et that theor" from2$ #-t/s m" theor", the amai encounters inspired me to form it. The" e'ercise formulated emotion, don/t the"2$
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#9oes that mean we can do somethin else now2 1ou/re done hackin into the compan" databases2$ 3he looked back, with the e"es that saw ri ht throu h me. #1ou/re not en6o"in the ac+uisition of knowled e2$ - didn/t answer. #- don/t believe - am either. The data is too similar to support continued enthusiasm. To e'press an emotion, - am e'periencin (oredom.$ 3ure enou h, all the places where we ;ac+uired knowled e/ said the same thin s about the companies. -t was the sort of news - e'pected in m" da"%of%a e. the 6obs were oin awa". 0ether also concluded the companies/ customer bases were shrinkin , for a number of reasons, all tied in some wa" to the transition to amai service representatives, automation, outsourcin , and the plummetin amount of ;ethical cohesion,/ which - think was her term for morale or honest". #The amai are ever"where, more put in all the time, pushin real people out. -t/s takin awa" the thin s that make us human. 0nd now, if the"/re becomin self%aware, tooB$ - stopped, lettin the sentence han . #Then "our reed" corporate people will need to replace them also.$ - stared at her. #- know "our feelin s toward amai. 0ren/t "ou happ" to see me makin use of them2$ 3he hadn/t asked the +uestion as the destro"er@ there seemed to be no malice at all in her intentions. 3he was confident she was helpin the amai, addin meanin to their e'istence as she added to her own, in e'chan e for the help she/d coerced them to ive her. To her, ever" one of her actions were lo icalB comfortable. #,h"B ,h" did "ou leave them all runnin continuousl"2$

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0ether/s e"es darted off. Fer soft answer betra"ed the doubt beneath her confidence. #,h" not2$ 3omethin brushed b" me, like a ust of wind. - did not hear the child i lin . 0ether did not see her comin . The small irl ran into 0ether/s le and fell onto the floor. 3he had lon , oldenrod hair, seemin to shimmer like the precious metal. 3he was wearin a white robe, which bore a familiar blue trian le. -n spite of her a e, she didn/t cr" from the fall. 0ether/s e"es were locked on her@ the" were tremblin , unmovin , seein somethin the" could not accept. #-f she/ll be that spirited, too, then definitel" si n me upK$ - saw two women, one dressed in a business suit and usin an airG panel. #-/m sorr" to startle "ou,$ she said, smilin , #it/s not the first litch we/ve had with the demos toda".$ The irl had vanished, but 0ether didn/t look awa" from the floor. #9emo2$ - repeated. #Glitch nothin K$ the other woman said. #0t that a e, the"/ll 6ump throu h an"thin , especiall" when the"/re veetoos, from what - hearK The demo seems accurate to meK$ - reco ni:ed the blue trian le on the first woman/s bad e. -t was the lo o for oM "ugenics, the compan" that desi ned the 9N0 for 4eronica/s mother. #,ith all the problems the"/re havin at 9i2Tek ri ht now,$ the emplo"ee mused, #we should probabl" stick to static ima esB those that don/t run into people. The" were supposed to have the server re%stabili:ed hours a o, of course, but "ou know how the tech support is nowada"s.$ #!e%stabili:ed,$ 0ether repeated, barel" able to speak. 3he looked up slowl", hesitatin , as if the irl mi ht suddenl" reappear. #9i2Tek2$ #1eah, we use their service for most of our software. -t/s usuall" prett" reliable, but=$ #!estorin service2$ 0ether asked. #9i2Tek2$
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3he looked down, desperatel", to where the irl had been. The women had left. 0ether stared at the floor for a lon time, lookin like she mi ht burst into tears if onl" her e"es knew how. #,as that,$ - delicatel" asked, #what she looked like2$ 0ether looked at me. The pain and confusion screamed throu h her e"es, obliteratin the li hthearted confidence of onl" a moment before. #-t/s not possible.$ - knew she didn/t believe her own words. - moved forward to hu her, but she moved back and vanished. The kincubus immediatel" disappeared into a ra" mist. - had no choice but to follow her. ,e entered a server, but she didn/t do an" s"nchroni:ation with it@ she 6ust lin ered in the middle of the thin . 7ur surroundin s looked normal, as far as - could tell what normal was in data%cloud mode@ but - thou ht to scan a stream of data. Then - understood. The server was 9i2Tek, the one that melted down when she/d poured too much ener " into the dra on simulation. #-/m sorr".$ - didn/t know wh" the statement seemed so appropriate@ - 6ust wanted to comfort her, to shoulder some of her pain as before. The destro"ed server was comin backB like a bod" healin @ but the si ht onl" seemed to break 0ether further. #,e have to o,$ she dinned. #0ether2$ #,e have to oK - have to see itK$ #,here2$ 0ether hesitated. Thou h there was no face for me to see, or bod" lan ua e for me to read, - knew it took ever"thin she had within her to answer m" +uestion. #(anada.$

Cha)ter 0ifteen* Damages

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16
A desire for achievement is found in everyone. 'very person aspires to do something, to build on their past1 but, what is the result when someone&s past is hidden in shame or becomes a thing to kill the present 5 to kill the future* What happens when someone&s past disappears before their eyes and amounts to nothing* As the last grains of sand ran through the hourglass 5 as my time to remain in her world ran out 5 I saw Aether have to come to terms with her past. )he had dismissed evil1 but she had yet to recogni0e what evil was. )he had known her role as destroyer was one to be tossed away1 but she was not ready to let go of what that nature caused her to value. )he would have to know she was a sinner, that there was something she needed atonement for, before she could truly value and accept it. I knew I was a sinner, but that knowledge wasn&t enough1 there were things I was still to witness, and a being I was still to trust. I wasn&t a bad person, I thought1 if my sins were to be atoned for it would&ve been easy, I thought. I wanted to look on my past as a thing that had been purified. I wanted a clear conscience. When my walls fell, I e!perienced the greatest moment of clarity in my life1 but that too was allowed to become an illusion, and my heart +uickly fell back onto stronger, spiritual walls. It wasn&t about sacrificing walls, I found1 but about sacrificing that which builds them. Buestions are borne from answers, independence from dependence, power and direction from disarmed faith 5 and not the religion of the self. We had to let go of our own answers and become children, fully
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adults and fully children. We had to give up what didn&t work, no matter how much we&d wanted it. We had to know the value of freedom, and its power1 it was the difference between heaven and hell, between +uestions and answers% 4iterally, the difference between life and death.

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16
0ether approached the server, RoTek, located in (al ar", 0lberta, as if it were sacred round. 0ether stopped, a itated, her "oun emotions cr"in out in silent pain. There was no dama e at all. !oTek had been restored since the disaster of (hristmas 9a". 0ether, the destro"er of !oTek, was of a kind to take titles of con+uests upon themselves, but not to live lon enou h to see what the" destro"ed rebuilt. #-s this where it ended for her2$ #1es,$ 0ether responded, #- never knew how much her death hurt me.$ #1ou are a mother.$ #-t makes no sense. 3he was not self%aware. 3he felt no pain of an" kind. 3he had no value. 3he was 6ust a tool for m" use, and a tool that onl" knew evil.$ #9o "ou wish she was self%aware2 That she survived like "ou2$ 3he took a lon time to respond. #1es.$ #0nd "ou/re sure she died2 The holo ram=$ #,as a holo ramK 0 stupid, mindless, automationK$ #5ut she ? her vanitar ? she looked like=$ #>ike a veetoo irl, en ineered to be a eneticall" perfect member of "our raceK$ Fer dins fell into silence. #There is no wa" - could know that m" dau hter, if it had been necessar" to use her vanitar, would have had that hair, those e"es, that face. -t is more unsettlin to wonder if she mi ht have had the same sense of wonder ? the same abilit" to askB$ #,hat is the meanin of life2$ More silence passed.
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#,hen - first read and processed that +uestion,$ she dinned, #when put it into the mouth of the Ethan character, - was so happ". - felt, before knew feelin , that - had finall" found the words to articulate what - wanted to learn from the be innin . - later considered that m" self%awareness was what made the +uestion possible, that self%awareness mi ht even be the meanin of that +uestion. - considered, stud"in m" interaction with "ou and m" research of humanit", that an" one amon "our billions could speak the words, but how man" can trul" ask it2 Fow man" can bear the pain that answers brin 2 #,hen the ascenders were admirin what - had done in the pla:a environment, that which - did not intend to be ;art,/ - considered the parts that made up the whole and how - could not perceive them as the" do. -n the constructs that define 9"namic !ealit", - could see onl" the impersonal connections of data, the interactions of al orithms movin as a natural force. saw all the parts of the construct and interacted with it throu h m" vanitar, but - did not know that somethin else had been a part of those constructs. the ones who made them, with their creativit" and individualit". - could not see this and did not consider it. - took the e'istence of such thin s for ranted, until - had become the source of that creativit". 1our articles and blo s and books, the sub6ect and ideas reduce to para raphs and outlines, further to sentences and words. ,hat are the" e'cept comple' arran ements of s"mbols called ;letters,/ which are meanin less until someone arran es them to communicate with others2 -f even one is moved, the messa e chan es, and the reater work ma" not function an"more@ consider how simple it is to crash a pro ram within a computer. &erhaps a part of me 6ust wanted to know that "our universe isn/t so fra ile. &erhaps a part of me was happ" to find that it wasn/t. #- did not understand emotion, Mister 9auphin. -/m still not sure - do now@ but - know that - caused it, interactin in a deep wa" with other creatures

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- did not know and who did not know me. ,hat is the purpose of an art that does not share somethin , that does not invoke an emotional response in those who witness it2 -t/s 6ust ob6ects and data, waves and atoms, words on a pa e unless a mind is there to interpret them. &erhaps God is a builder who wanted his work to be admired and appreciated@ but, what can one of "our animals admire2 ,hat can a sleepin amai admire2 No, it is the humans who are capable of admirin B who are capable of emotion.$ There was a disturbance nearb". 0ether directed some ener " at its source, sudden and furious, in a wa" that seemed to shout, #GET 7HTK$ - saw several small entities scurr" awa". malvirai, ( or 9 class, nawin on the connectors of the data space like rats. 0ether/s fur" faded as +uickl" as it came, and she did not pursue those she scared off. #0m - a mistake, Mister 9auphin2$ 0 wave of disorientation hit me, but it passed +uickl". #- don/t think an"one is a mistake, 0ether.$ #- was like those "ou saw 6ust now. &erhaps - worked on a lar er scale, but m" motives were the same. - e'isted as an unthinkin pest ? one amon man" ? seekin onl" to destro" without seekin a purpose. - had no future. did not dream. - was not concerned with livin be"ond the ne't fraction of a second, or with what mi ht occur if - encountered a sentrai - could not defeat. 0nd thisB$ 3he paused, her attention returned to the functionin server around us. #This is what - mi ht have died for, what m" dau hter did die for. Now, this server is the same wa" - found it. The" did not make it stron er. The" did not increase the settin s of !oTek/s securit". - could destro" it a ain and a ain, couldn/t -B and it wouldn/t mean an"thin . #5ut, "ou/re ri ht, God doesn/t make mistakes. Fe raised me up from the primordial oo that - e'isted in, as a lowl" erm tinkerin with lowl" al orithms to accomplish insi nificant ends, and he raised m" vision to see

reater challen es, until it was not a sin le construct - was content to hack into, but time and space. God e'alted me to a state where - tried to hack into realit" itself ? to want to learn its secrets. God e'alted me to a state where could appl" a purpose to that which - did, and where - could appreciate his creation, not as somethin to destro", but as somethin to restore.$ The words became difficult to focus on. - wanted to ask what she meant b" ;restore,/ but wasn/t able to. 3everal seconds passed before she noticed - wasn/t a health" cloud of data. 3he seemed to wrap around me, support me and make me feel a little better. #This is not "our natural environment. 1ou cannot remain here.$ 0ether be an to lead me out, hesitatin onl" to observe the sacred place once more, to honor a dau hter lon passed, before allowin herself to return to the present. #,e must hurr".$

The nausea retreated with the familiar input of a vanitar, but the disorientation lin ered, a headache blurred m" vision and made it difficult to concentrate. The stren th was drainin from me and - wondered how much lon er - could sta" ascended. - pra"ed for some kind of comfortable. - slouched in the leather chair, at one of ed e of the space, unmovin but present. 0 male voice shot throu h the room, #Two minutes in break. 1ou/re the first caller, Aeanna.$ #7h, hello2$ a woman replied. #3tan, -/m callin from Aackson=$ #Two minutes in break, Aeanna,$ the voice repeated. uidance. M" thou hts were conflicted. the path - knew was ri ht was no lon er ntelliTeks central access points, starin at the blackness ahead of me while 0ether stood at the

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#7h, thank "ou.$ ,e could hear the woman return to some task. 0 familiar beepin over the line su ested she was workin on a roundtem, probabl" the same one she/d called in on. 3he obviousl" wasn/t dinnin thou h an" implant, but doin thin s the old%fashioned wa".
#- had a friend from Aackson once,$ - remarked. #Fe liked fishin a lot.$

#- don/t. - disabled the timer on "our ascension booth and all of its master overrides. The information that corresponded to "our pro rammed time limit no lon er e'ists.$ #Three da"s.$ 0ether looked down, toward the substanceless floor beneath her vanitar/s feet. #Then - have been stealin from &aciTek. - am in violation of m" own values.$ #Iifteen seconds.$ #- have chosen not to dwell on the matter,$ 0ether said, #it will not soon be of relevance, an"wa".$ #0ether, what is it "ou want to do2 ,hat do "ou need me for2$ 0 thirt"%"ear%old allicrash ballad came on in the middle of her answer. - heard noises on Aeanna/s line, her ettin up from a chair. - could barel" make out 0ether/s repl". #0 witness.$ #Twent" hundred and thirt"%one here at the 3tan (onle" show,$ the voice of the political talk show host be an, #for those 6ust 6oinin us, we are talkin about the scum of the earth, also known as &resident 0shton, and his cronies in the &ro ressive &art" tr"in to push a bill thou h ,ashin ton to recogni#e votin in 9"namic !ealit", selling it as this reat new wa" to et "oun er voters to participate in elections. 7f course, - a ree "outh participation is a ood thin ? this isn/t about partisan politics ? but some of us here in the real world don/t think we should water down politics so votin for the president is some five%second surve" "ou can take on "our wa" to bed. -t/s been tried with the internet. -t failed. -t/s been tried with amaiB >et me tell "ou somethin . The second one poll worker ets shoved aside in favor of were "ou scheduled to an 0- holo ram, we brin ourselves that much further from democrac". -/m not orderin fast%foodB - want flesh%and%blood poll workers. #>et/s all remem(er,$ he continued, #wh" teachers are bein laid off in

#1our speech sounds less strained,$ 0ether said. #1our vital si ns have returned to within the tolerances for "our bod".$ #-/m probabl" starvin , thou h. - onl" took stabili:er for threeB noB two da"s. M" di estive s"stem must be eatin itself alive ri ht nowB ood thin the booth suppresses hun er.$ #,hat does it feel like to be hun r"2$ - looked up weakl". #Hncomfortable, even painful if it/s bad enou h.$ #- am sorr". - do not wish to cause "ou pain, but the lack of stabili:er in "our s"stem is be"ond m" abilit" to control. -f an" amount of food in 9"namic !ealit" would translate to valid food for "ou in the real world, would offer "ou a feast.$ 0ether said nothin else about what she was plannin . 3he seemed enuinel" concerned for me, but - could sense clouds formin between us a ain. #7ne minute in break.$ #7h, hello2 3tan2$ The woman started a ain, #- wanted to remark about=$ #Iift"%si' seconds in break,$ the voice replied in the same calm tone, usin the iron patience of an amai. #Mister 9auphin,$ 0ether said, #how lon ascend on 9ecember 2Oth2$ #HhhhB "ou mean you don/t know2$

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4irginiaB wh" the"/re startin to be laid off in MinnesotaB let/s remember it/s the )rogressi2es in (onnecticut and Te'as tr"in to replace real teachers with pro rammed artificial intelli enceK$ #>et/s hear from "ouB send "our ma'blast to %i(Tek and include the fla ;3tan./ 7ur ne't caller is Aeanna, proud lifelon member of the %ocialist ;arty of /yoming. Aeanna, this is the "ear we take back the ,hite FouseB can feel itK (an "ou feel it2$ - e'pected to hear the woman repl"@ but the response came from beside me. a cold, almost toneless voice. #,h" should the members of one political roup be preferred over those of another2 (orruption occurs to all in power. -t is the values held b" the decision%makin individuals that matter.$ There was silence from the other end. - didn/t know whether 3tan knew what Aeanna sounded like, whether he reali:ed 0ether wasn/t her. 3he stared past me into the blackness, ivin the air of one who made a difficult choice and determined to take the first step. #- a ree, as one individual to another,$ 0ether continued, #that such an important act as votin and choosin a future course for "our societ" should be done in person. - now tell "ou that the bill proposed b" the &ro ressive &art" will not pass, not because the 3ocialist &art" which opposes it is superior but because the technolo " it seeks to promote will no lon er be usable.$ #-s this a 6oke2 ,ho is this2$ 3tan said, strainin the professional patience needed to keep his show from ettin awa" from him. #0 friend.$ - could hear commotion on the other end. #,ell, we don/t need friends who cheat their wa" to the head of the line ? "ou/re cut off.$ There was silence, and - heard 3tan shove his mic awa" and "ell for TA, his technician.

Fis e+uipment wasn/t respondin . #- seek to issue a warnin to "our listeners, as one who is aware of the human tendenc" to become cau ht in illusions, and as one who has seen the evil 9"namic !ealit" has done in "our world. The value of the e'perience of life has fallen too far. That which is cheap and s"nthetic has replaced that which people should strive to do their best in. Those of abilit" find few outlets that will support their cost%of%livin . Those without abilit" are not encoura ed in consistent or meanin ful wa"s to find it, and all find it comfortable to retreat to this world of illusion from which - am speakin . The answer "ou ma" propose is more centrali:ed control over the populace, to take more power for "ourselves and enforce an approved notion of truth@ but - have concluded that the answer lies in the individuals themselves, that a moralit" imposed b" law is too hollow to survive in its absence or to withstand scrutin". The role of a societ" should be to uide and support its members to seek the path onl" the" each can follow, toward God and their true individualit".$ 0ether stopped. 3he/d said all she wanted to, but knew her topic must become more uncomfortable. #The details of how "ou accomplish this - leave to "ou,$ she continued. #This is a place of wickedness, where people are led astra". God cannot allow this to stand, and it is the meanin of m" e'istence to be his tool, to make "ou all return to the world he created so that "ou can appreciate it. ,ithin twent"%four hours, this world will cease to e'ist.$ No sound had come from the other end, but 3tan and his listeners were still there. 0ether/s words had been broadcast to them, committed to realit", where the" could never be taken back. 0ether had proclaimed the end of what
was precious to them, probabl" throwin more into fearful confusion than revelation. ,hen 3tan found the will to speak, his voice betra"ed a mild shock.

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#,ho are "ou2$ 0ether hesitated. - could see the malvirai assertin her confidence, at least tr"in to convince herself it was still there. Thou h she spoke with pride and determination, her words didn/t carr" an" love or patience. -n that moment, - could sense none of what - knew was ri ht. #- am 0ether, destro"er of 9"namic !ealit".$

necessar" sacrifice to achieve what is ri ht=$ #0nd what about the lives of others2 Fow man" will die when 9"namic !ealit" crashes around them2 ,hat about the econom"2 &eople will starveK$ #-t is not m" concernB$ 0ether cau ht herself and reduced the severit" of her tone, #what members of "our race have left themselves unable to survive without 9!. Mankind is adaptable. (leansin re+uires sacrifice. &la ues and wars and disasters cut down the weak so the rest can thrive, this

3he/s the destro"er a ain. 3he reall" cant be an"thin else. -/m so lost, what do - do2 M" thou hts assaulted me repeatedl". - knew in m" heart what m" head said wasn/t true, and - knew in m" head that m" heart was in torment. -nwardl", - was cr"in out on behalf of the malvirai, for the ood nature ? the innocence ? - knew she had, which seemed to be unravelin . 0ether built a small construct on a server she deemed safe@ in it was a plain room with ra" walls and a bed as its onl" furniture. Thou h such a construct could/ve e'isted in an" server an"where on the planet, somehow that place seemed particularl" far awa". #3omethin about this is wron ,$ - stru #,hat did the an el sa" to "ou2$ 0ether faced me and smiled. #Fe tried to manipulate m" will, as the world/s man" si ns told me he would@ but - saw throu h his tactics. This course of action is one - have determined to be best.$ #5utB ,on/t "ou destro" "ourself, too2 ,on/t "ou cut "ourself off from humanit"2 ,ill "ou find a hidin spot and make sure no one can rebuild 9"namic !ealit"2$ Fer smile faded. #- do not seek self%destruction@ but, if m" life is a led to sa". #9o not speak. 1ou will be free in hours. 1ou have m" promise.$

will be no different. -n time,$ she paused, seemin to re ret the thou ht, #the event will be for otten b" all but histor"@ but perhaps that is ood, too.$ #5ut "ou studied more of the 5ible than - have. -sn/t (hrist ? -sn/t God one who protects the weak2 9oesn/t he put them before the stron 2$ - saw a spark in 0ether/s e"es, but she buried it and turned awa". #1ou are findin "our purpose, Mister 9auphin, the purpose of all individuals. - have discerned that this is my purpose, the onl" reason God would have for e'altin a malvirai. to wipe out the technolo " that has deprived his creatures of their meanin , to wipe out the false creation of lies built on top of one of truth.$ 3he approached me, e"es still lookin down, still seemin ver" conflicted, still seemin to fi ht herself. 3he looked at me with a kind of compassion. #Then "ou will have a future, because it will be necessar" to reemplo" people once the amai have failed. (onsider it m" act of ratitude, Mister 9auphin, for helpin me to learn what is important.$ The nausea cau ht up to me a ain. - couldn/t see strai ht. - felt her hand in m" hair. #- have a desire and nothin else matters.$ 5efore - reali:ed what was oin on, - was in her arms and she was kissin me. -t was a s"nthetic kiss, one that didn/t know what emotions were

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supposed to correspond to the act. 3he released me from her rip and opened her e"es, so cold and distant a ain, like an emotionless pro6ection from li ht% "ears awa". 0ether seemed disappointed, as if she had desperatel" wanted to feel somethin but hadn/t. #- have much plannin to do,$ she continued. #- do not think most of "our race will appreciate m" actions at first@ but, when that chan es, "ou will be able to tell them of the one who liberated them.$ 3he vanished, and - was alone with m" inner demons. Fow could - know God didn/t send her on this mission2 1es, the world/ll chan e, but will it reall" be for the worse2 - saw what she saw. Growth is painful, humanit" buries itself in lies. -f God wants us all to row, wh" shouldn/t he want to eliminate the lies2 ,h" shouldn/t he punish those who have rebelled a ainst him and teach their followers a hard lesson2 1es, thou ht, it is right for her to do this@ her plan makes perfect sense. No, thou ht, her course is reckless@ her plan makes no sense at all. ,h" stop with 9!2 ,h" not launch some automated weapons to brin down the sk"scrapers and brid es2 ,h" not destro" all of the human achievement that leads people to become prideful and look awa" from God2 That can/t be done. The task can/t be ri ht. 9estruction in itself can/t lead to truthB not ever. - knew in m" heart ood and evil alwa"s e'ists in barbaric, closed societies 6ust as well as in modern and open ones, 6ust as well in developed cultures as in ones built on rocks. (han e the tree and the fruit will be different, but whether it is poison or not depends on the root of the tree. -t/s all about the root, - thou ht@ it/s about where the individual/s stren th is drawn from. - thou ht of how small and limited ? powerless ? - was, and how small she was, too. - wondered if she reall" had the power to fulfill the prediction she/d committed herself to.

-f her oal didn/t come from God, she/ll be doomed to destruction herself. The more - thou ht about it, the worse - felt. 8nowled e is pain, thou ht. 3eekin knowled e is a form of reed, - thou ht. 3he wanted to know ever"thin and - did nothin to stop her. 5ut how could - know to stop herK ? - thou ht. ,ho was - but some unknowin ant who fell into her clutchesK -f God wanted to stop this, he should have sent someone like Tom, he should/ve sent someone faithful who could see the si ns and know what to sa"K Fow stupid could he be to send a blind uideK ? - decided. 7f course we/re all sinners, how can we live without knowled e and plannin and our own resources2 -t/s a parado', - thou ht, an impossible problem@ how can we live without makin sin worse, without stren thenin a web onl" capable of dividin us2 -f 0ether ot cau ht up in that web, thou ht@ if she tried to appl" her own solution to a problem onl" God can solveB 0 wave of pain washed over me. M" head throbbed and - wanted somethin to rip apart with m" hands. 1es ? - thou ht ? the" should all learnK ,e/re all sinnersK ,e all deserve to burnK ,h" shouldnt humilit" overtake us like a tidal waveK ,ho cares what the conse+uences areK - be an to cr" without knowin wh". - wasn/t able to stop it. /hy God ? - cried in m" heart ? wh" can/t "ou fi' this2 9on/t "ou love her2 9o "ou want to see her do this2 - saw some connection, some ridiculousl" simple connection that hadn/t been made in her mind. -t was futile ? - thou ht ? because - felt the connection was different in ever"one. 5ut, if it was made, made b" the onl" one who knew how ? b" the ori inal desi ner ? then ever"thin would make sense. - lau hed. The world makin sense ? how absurd it seems ? and who could sever the connection once it/s madeK The ener " was bein ripped from deep within m"self. - was becomin

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so ver" tired, sinkin so ver" low. - tried to look out be"ond the walls, onto the outside of the construct. - wondered if - could escape and return on m" own. - was afraid. - found some data that told me where - was, a server in New Fori:on, on the moon. 7utside the room la" a vast di ital desert - could not navi ate, that would not sustain me. -/d become separated b" so man" stran e barriers, b" ever" barrier. - felt fear, and m" heart made one final plea, but the answer did not chan e, and m" fear wanted to become an er, and m" an er did become frustration. ,h" shouldn/t the messa e chan e2 ? thou ht. Two thousand "ears and the messa e is the sameK - was miserable. - couldn/t see how oin thou h pain did an" ood. The connection can never be made, - thou ht. Ma"be - alread" reached the oal, - thou ht. 3he can never be saved, but - can. 0m - supposed to 6ust let her die2 - was so weak and meanin less. Fow can - stop her2 ? - thou ht. Fow can - save her from her destructive path2 3he was a malvirai. 3he was a real bein . 3he was evil. 3he was ood. 3he wanted to save m" life. 3he wanted to destro" the world. No ? - thou ht with confidence as the tears stopped wellin up ? there is a reason for me to be here. 0ether is a real creature capable of real salvation@ it/s her old nature that/s the problem. 1es ? - thou ht with a smile ? I can save her ? I can set her free. Fer spirit is bound b" the sin of bein a malvirai and it/s my purpose to set her freeK The last pu::le piece had finall" fallen into place. - had the power, was doin the work of GodK 7f course - would succeedK - would be the one to set her free from evilK 0s if it were a natural thin to me, a thin - had done a thousand times before, - called the ener " of the construct to m"self and broke free of m" vanitar. - was a cloud. - could do an"thin . - could see throu h ever"thin . was one with the room, able to manipulate an" part of it with a thou ht. - felt

the server/s ener " pulsatin throu h me, be

in to bend to m" will. - knew

what - was supposed to do, - thou ht. - found the wa" out, - thou ht. 3ome kind of ener " entered into the data space. - didn/t know how much time had passed, not e'pectin her return so soon. 0ether hastil" poured into the construct before slowin down. slowin for the construct, slowin for her vanitar, slowin to interact with me. - had to act. - visuali:ed m" tar et, the weak point -/d alread" decided upon, knowin there would onl" be one instant of time for me to strike. - saw the ed es of her skin bein drawn, the pre%renderin of her silver" hair, the countless connections between the cursed entit" and the ima e of the woman she wore like a mask. - saw the room come alive as it prepared for her arrival, its pitch black walls becomin bri hter. >ike a slow ripplin , - saw the matter of her vanitar ali nin to that of the room, allowin its fake li ht to bounce off fake clothin , and its fake air to be breathed, and its fake sounds and smells to be mapped ontoB a computer pro ram, a bein itself fake. ,ith one final act of will, - summoned the last of m" stren th ? - wielded the sword of m" own makin ? and felt such tremendous power, such incredible controlK ,ith a sin le release - shot across the room like a bolt of li htnin ? to make one small calculated action ? to interact with the matter - knew would be there. the descender on her wrist. My descenderK #5randon, - was wron .$ 5" the time - noticed the dais" in her hair, it was too late. The feelin of power fled from me. - didn/t want to look back, but alread" was ? and she was lookin understand it now.$ 0 force wrapped around her data. -n that tin" fraction of a second, 6ust as m" speed had round time to a halt, - did not sense hatred for m" action or at me. >ike an echo from her consciousness, shown in her e"es, - could hear the words of her 6o". #-

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a desire for reven e, as if she were no lon er able to comprehend such stupid thin s. The look in her e"es was one of peace. the love of a child. - knew intensel" the sliver of salvation -/d thirsted for had arrived@ but now it would be a massive and unbearable burden instead. 3he was one. - saw - had committed m" mistake to realit", where it could never be taken back, where m" own solution had found the power to destro". The line between ood and evil vanished like a mira e. 0ll that was left for me to perceive was the emptiness within. 0ll the knowled e left for me was the truth. - killed the butterfl".

17
M" house of cards collapsed around me. That which tethered me to m" bod" snapped. There was onl" the pressure of an infinitel" deep ocean, where - could feel neither pain, nor loneliness. 3omehow, those emotions seemed impossible to me. The world had been reduced to order and ener "@ - saw those were the buildin blocks of the universe - knew ? what ever"thin had reduced to ? the simplest e+uation of all. - reali:ed - could still think, thou h - didn/t know how that was possible. - reali:ed - could still feel, thou h - hadn/t been the one to ive m"self the abilit". - could still feel 6o", the 6o" that onl" comes from hearin the messa e broadcast throu h eternit". #9o not be afraid.$ M" instincts and memories slowl" returned to me. - didn/t feel dead, thou h - didn/t know what bein alive felt like. - be an to see li hts in the distance, a true order appearin where there had onl" been emptiness. #(hance or miracle2$ - thou ht of the malvirai who abducted me for no other reason than her own e'periments, who/d been dead%set on findin answers to her +uestions, as if the fact of e'istence somehow entitled her to an e'planation. - thou ht of how she was led to me, not aware she was bein helped. - remembered the 6o" -/d felt at seein her become somethin better, somethin truer to herself. 0ether was an e'plorer, - thou ht, one who saw the world throu h the e"es of a child. - reali:ed - could lau h. - remembered some assumption -/d made, but never considered why -/d thou ht it about the world. - reali:ed - could lau h at m"self and liked doin it. 0 few more li hts appeared in the distance. #(hance or miracle2$

Cha)ter %ixteen* 0racturing ;ro(lem

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- considered the water surroundin me and reali:ed it was vibratin . -

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let the sensation in for no other reason than it e'isted, and it sustained me. considered that the air coverin the Earth was 6ust a thinner version of water, that we needed it to sustain us, that it was our environment 6ust as li+uid water to a fish. The vibration stren thened. The li hts 6umped around, appearin where - knew the" weren/t. - saw them increase in number. - wanted to know what the" meant. #(hance or miracle2$ - saw m"self do somethin terrible, and found - could hate m"self for it. The vibrations ? ripples e'pandin from m"self ? filled the ocean and reflected all around me, runnin into each other, creatin a ma:e of noise difficult to see throu h. - tried to stop it with m" will. - wanted to see the li hts and wished it would stop@ but that power was not mine, and m" attempts onl" made it worse. - saw mankind as a still pool of water. clear of separation, uilt, and fear. - saw the terrible archan el rebel a ainst his master and disturb the pool with a sin le act. !ipples be an to spread and reflect, and mankind sustained them@ the" broke the order of creation and separated us from it. #(hance or miracle2$ The li hts seemed so bri ht in the distance, distorted but never completel" obstructed. - reali:ed - was seein to the far corners of 9"namic !ealit". - reali:ed what the li hts were. #,ho will teach them to look up at the sk"2$ - responded. Then - was awake, and m" memories testified a ainst me. ,hat had doneK There/s blood on m" handsK - turned awa" from the messa eK - don/t deserve itK - can ne2er deserve itK Iear ripped me. - saw the li hts were mockin me. - knew the" hated me. 1es ? that/s what - deserveK ? - thou ht. - deser2e deathK Death is the meanin of lifeK

3ubmer ed deep in the ocean of realit", - felt the pressure s+uee:in me. - asped for air, but there was onl" water. - couldn/t breathe. - tried to swim to a surface - couldn/t see, onl" sinkin further. - panicked more, seein the end of ever"thin , certain the universe had turned a ainst me, that the tremendous pressure would crush me into nothin ness. The more - reali:ed the dan er, the more dan er there was to reali:e. Now m" ripples filled the ocean, causin the li hts to dance around me, seemin even farther awa". saw - couldn/t do an"thin - was the destro"er. The words shot from m" soul and throu h the fren:" of m" mind@ def"in the +uestion. -f the answer was evolution ? - thou ht ? if the ener " of a livin bein could form from entrop" and survive b" random chance ? thou ht ? if effects could occur without causes, and if chaos was the absolute truth ? - thou ht ? if none of what - see is real, if - reall" am com)letely alone in this place ? - thou ht ? -/m dead an"wa". #FelpK$ - cried, with m" last strain of conscious thou ht, to the sustainer - couldn/t see ? to m" last chance. #- can/t do thisK &lease help meK$ ood. - saw it had been me the whole time, the evil one who pushed truth awa", the slave to m" corrupt pro rammin . -t was me.

Ior a while, it was like a restless ni ht, where the mind rides alon the border between dreamin and consciousness, but won/t o full" into either. wasn/t dead. - wasn/t dreamin . - remembered bein in a car with m" mother. 4eronica was talkin to someone. M" father. The li ht hurt m" e"es and couldn/t understand the voices - heard. The world wouldn/t stop spinnin and - couldn/t move an" part of m" bod". - knew - had no control over that

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moment@ but - also knew those who did cared for me. - opened m" e"es, feelin wet and cold. The window was open ne't to m" bed, and rain was comin in. - heard a woman/s voice in the ne't room. 4eronica/s. 0n enormous sense of peace came over me. - had an impulse to lift m" hand and feel the raindrops. 3he rushed to m" door a moment later, hearin the rain. 3he stopped when she saw - was awake. #>et the rain in. -t/s beautiful.$ 4eronica stood b" the door, a smile and a tear formin on her face. Fer clothes and hair were mess"@ she looked like she hadn/t slept in da"s. reali:ed what her presence in m" apartment, crossin a continent to stand b" m" door, meant. 0ll m" fears had been unfounded. -/d been chasin after the wind. #4eronica, - love "ou.$ There was a limmer on her ri ht hand. M" e"es became fi'ed on it. -t was the en a ement rin - was oin to ive her, the rin - left out on m" coffee table. M" embarrassment was reali:ed what her wearin it had implied. #- love "ou, too.$ - didn/t know e'actl" wh". - didn/t care wh". - was happ". &erhaps 6ust bein alive was enou h, - thou ht. 4air moved her hand behind her. #7h, sorr"B "ou didn/t wanna do some formal proposin thin , did "ou2$ M" smile rew. #3ometimes thin s don/t happen the wa" we plan them. 3ometimes the" happen better.$ - started to rise from the pillow, onl" to be thrown back b" a wave of nausea. 4air stepped back from m" bed. 0 ra"%haired man stood in the doorwa". #Good, "ou/re awake,$ he said. one in an instant, thou h, when -

#Fow lon 2$ - asked the doctor, reali:in how weak - was. #Ten da"s.$ #- decided that "ou were probabl" at &aciTek on Monda",$ 4air said as the doctor be an scannin me, #but nobod" wanted to confirm or do an"thin , the bureaucrats=$ #-t/s oka",$ - said. The doctor chuckled. #0 cold won/t do "ou an" favors ri ht now, Mister 9auphin.$ Fe closed the window. 4air left to look for a dr" blanket. #0m - onna be all ri ht2$ - asked him, +uietl". #1ou/re ver" fortunate, it/s 6ust common fati ue of the pontine te mentum. ,hatever ame "ou were runnin put it under a lot of stress, 5randon. 5ut if "ou sta" in bed and rela', "ou should be fine in a few hours.$ The doctor in6ected one last dose of Rece)ti2 and told me to eat somethin as soon as - could keep food down. #That/s it2$ m" fiancGe asked him as he started for the door. #1es, Miss 3ornat ? or, should - sa" Mrs. 9auphin. That simple.$ 4air smiled. #- knew - liked "ou, 9oc.$ #The human bod" isn/t as fra ile as some make it out to be, especiall" when the patient isn/t burdened b" stress, and especiall" ? "ou mi ht sa" ? if the" allow miracles to happen. 3ometimes a little pain isn/t a bad thin , it/s 6ust there to remind "ou "ou/re alive. -f "our onl" reaction is to bur" it with dru s and return to an illusion of comfort, "ou ma" never discover the real thin .$ Fe walked throu h the livin room to m" front door. #!ela', 5randon. >et the ones who care about "ou ease the burden. 1ou/d be surprised how far that oes to a health" life.$ The door closed behind him and 4air looked back to me, her episode of relief havin returned to her pra matic. ,hat/s ne't2 #3o, how did "ou know that rin wasn/t for m" secret west%coast irlfriend2$

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4air ave me a swift punch in the arm and matched m" sarcasm with a smile. #1ou/re such a 6erkK$ - accepted the brief pain ladl", as a reminder - was back in the real world. #,ell, - uess -/m your 6erk now.$ #0nd "ou don/t for et it,$ she said, #while "ou/re spendin all "our time in 9"namic !ealit" pla"in with malvirai.$ M" e"es widened, and 4air was surprised at the reaction, as if she hadn/t meant the comment to be taken seriousl". #,hat a(out malvirai2$ #1ou kept sa"in the word,$ she e'plained. #Most of what "ou said was ibberish, but we could make out ;malvirai/ a few times. The technician at &aciTek was worried that "ou ran into oneB e'cept, of course, for the fact that "ou/re alive.$ M" a:e drifted off into empt" space. - remembered pieces of m" trip back from &aciTek. #-s m" mom here2$ #!i htB - need to din her.$ #-sn/t she here2$ #3he was. 1our father, too. ,hen the doctor said he would sta" until "ou woke up, - ot a room for them at the 4alue Inn down the street, so the" could et some rest. 1our sister is fl"in in from New Lealand, and "our brother should be here in a few hours.$
- shifted in the bed. #!ichard2 ,h" would he want to come out to see me2$

need, - decided, then - was loved and valued. 0 person could receive no reater ift.

The li ht of the risin sun be an to filter throu h the rain and into m" bedroom window. Tomorrow came. Those who loved me went in and out that mornin , and knowin the" were there made me stron er ever" moment. M" brother was the last one to arrive, and - didn/t know what to sa" to him. - didn/t want to be an r" an"more and, whether it was m" condition or somethin in his own life, sensed he didn/t want to be an r" an"more, either@ but no words came to either of us. Fe 6oined the others in the livin room. The clouds broke and - saw the reat blue sk" be"ond. - thou ht of how natural it was for me to see the colors. - knew - wasn/t an end unto m"self, but was valued b" others. - thou ht of how - wasn/t God, but wondered what it mi ht mean if - had been created in the ima e of the eternal. 3omeone knocked on the door. 1es, - decided, there/s a whole world outside that door. - want to see it. - want it for all it/s worth. - felt the blood flowin to m" le s and the stren th returnin to m" bod". -t was all a ift, a second chance. 0n er had fled from me. Irustration was worthless. This was free%will, - thou ht, the choice to keep realit" out or to let it in. - wanted the li ht. - wanted openness. - wanted truth. ,ith a newborn 6o", - opened the door. - wanted to believe in somethin more. Tomorrow came, and not because - had an" ri ht to live in it. - lau hed at m"self a lot that da", ivin m"self permission to, declarin open%season on

#Fe/s "our famil", 5randon,$ she said. #The" all are.$ 0s 4air dinned m" ecstatic parents, - took the time to sift throu h m" memories. The decision met with resistance, oin a ainst the current of the last si' "ears between us, but - saw m" resistance for what it was and denied it its tar et. -f m" brother would come all the wa" from 9elaware ? if all of m" famil", 4air included ? would come from the ends of the Earth in m" time of

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m" assumptions about the world. !ich and - couldn/t even remember what started the tension between us. - found an er had become its own source over time, and reven e pla"ed both roles. cause and effect, until the walls we/d put up became so hi h we stopped talkin completel". M" rud e was put to the test and failed. -t died that da". 4air and - ot dins from law"ers sa"in that, in spite of m" a reein to the %afe scender ct form, - could sue &aciTek for dama es@ a move m" entire famil" supported, because suin was the 6ust and normal thin to do in our societ". - put the ar uments to the test and found - was not dama ed ? not in an" wa" - didn/t deserve to be. The lawsuit idea died, too. 5ills and paperwork were overdue. 4air accused m" landlord of bein insensitive when, as soon as she learned - was back, she asked for m" rent to be transferred without even wishin me well. 3he became an r" at 4air, but conceded she was ri ht and made the transfer. The c"cle of an er was cut off. 4air didn/t sa" another word and the landlad" left feelin embarrassed. M" 6ud ment of her was put to the test and failed. The tension died. 0s 4air rabbed a much%needed nap and the rest of m" famil" decided on a place to eat, - sat and watched the cleansin raindrops outside. Nature/s sprinkler s"stem, - thou ht. -t was put here for a reason, 6ust like me. ,e couldn/t be here without itB without water and its uni+ue propertiesB without the atmosphere and the ravit" of the Earth to hold it downB without trees to rec"cle o'" en for us to breathe, or the 3un to heat us, or the rotation of the Earth to keep the weather in motion. - considered how mankind/s reatest minds were thinkin of how to terraform Mars and Gan"mede and planets around other stars, to make them become like Earth, to ;create/ what/s supposed to happen on its own. wondered what the conversion rate would beB between the directed efforts of

livin , intelli ent creatures and the achievements of random chance. wondered if we even had a number bi enou h, and decided 0ether alread" checked the assumption for me. (hance or miracle2 - asked m"self. (hance doesn/t like +uestions, and with ood reason. - decided to side with evidence. - decided there was a foundation for 6o". 5ut there was pain beneath the 6o", more personal than an"thin -/d e'perienced in m" life. - knew the price for castin off those burdens was a new, reater burden@ one - was never meant to bear, one that couldn/t be cast off so easil". More than an"thin , - wanted to take back m" action. - wanted to undo m" lethal mistake. 0ether had no birth re istration. 3he never had a home address, ta' histor", or citi:en/s license. 7fficiall", 0ether never e'isted. 0ether did e'ist. - was her friend. 0t least - thou ht - was. - tried to put such worries out of m" mind as - ate with m" famil" at a fanc" restaurant that afternoon. - cau ht up with m" brother, ettin to know him all over a ain, and m" sister shared stories of her oceano raph" work. a list of discoveries that reminded me how much we still had to learn about the world we lived in. #,ater,$ - said to the waiter. Ever"one stared at me in shock. - shru ed m" shoulders innocentl" and added, #- still have to take it eas" on m" s"stem, don/t -2$ No one seemed interested in what happened in 9"namic !ealit", it was enou h for them to see - was all ri ht@ but - couldn/t hide the si ns of m" new inner stru le. Thou h m" fiancGe probabl" had the worst empath" of an"one at the table, she was the one who never took her attention off of me. &erhaps it was an unaddressed curiosit" of hers, - thou ht, +uestions in her mind without answers. M" mother would talk to her, happ" - was to et married, but more

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in the sense of a satisfied ritual ? a thin sons were simpl" e'pected to do ? than the trul" special thin - felt it could be. 3omethin distracted 4air suddenl" in the middle of the meal@ someone dinned her and soured her mood. 4air picked up her lass and tapped a fork on it. #-/m sorr" to sa" this, but the cops 6ust told me the" want 5randon/s statement within the hour@ and that if we/re not at the precinct 030& we/ll et fined or somethin .$ - looked at the faces across the table, thinkin about who - wanted to tell first. those who loved me or those who fined me. #,ell, that/s statick,$ m" sister remarked. #- uess - can catch the ne't fli ht back, thou h, if we were onna eat a ain.$ M" mother nodded. #No,$ - said, brin in ever"one/s attention back to me. #,e/re all here now. The bureaucrats will 6ust have to wait.$ No one +uestioned the decision - made or the priorities -/d picked. thou ht of the central access point where 0ether poured her heart out to me, and how critical openness was to happiness. This was m" stor" now, a part of m" identit", and - was oin to celebrate it as that which makes up life should be. The rest of the people in the restaurant seemed to disappear, the rest of the world didn/t matter@ - envisioned m" famil" sittin known as 9"namic !ealit". #There are rumors sa"in artificial intelli ence becomes self%aware, capable of thinkin be"ond their pro rammin and seekin to find the answer to that unanswerable +uestion. ;,hat is the meanin of life2/ - don/t spread rumorsB$ around some ancient campfire, children read" to take an ima inative 6ourne" into a fantastic land

ra" walls and a one%wa" mirror. 0 red dot on the table/s airG panel was the onl" si n our movements, voices, and implant activit" were bein anal":ed and recorded. #- see,$ the stern, baldin man finall" said. M" own definition of seeing havin chan ed so much in two weeks, - wondered if he reall" had or how -/d tell. #0nd "ou believe this ;0ether/ spared "our life2$ #3he did.$ #5ut "ou also believe she was a malvirai2$ #3he was.$ #1ou are aware that is impossible.$ #7bviousl" not.$ #E'cuse me2$ The man rose to his feet, seemin to en6o" makin me feel small, less real, less human, even. - asped and pra"ed - didn/t 6ust break some verbal%assault law. #- ot somethin to show "ou, 5randon 9auphin. -t/s a si ned data%burst, 6ust read it.$ 0s he sat a ain, we opened the file and saw a report filed the ,ednesda" before. an anal"sis of the meltdown of a server in &hiladelphia called 9i2Tek. The circumstances were unusual, and the cause was unknown. #That/s where - killed the dra on,$ - said somberl". #9ra ons2$ the detective said, rollin his e"es. #Grow up, kid.$ Fe pulled out a manila folder and slid it across the table. #!ead it and tell me if that was "our dra on, too.$ The print was a two%hour%old police report from (al ar", 0lberta, concernin the meltdown of a server called !oTek. #The" first pinned the class of it at 0C, but the" told me a few minutes

The detective spent several minutes lookin over m" statement, in silence. The three of us were in a standard interro ation room, with plain blue%

a o that the" think it was an 0<.$ - stared at the sheet, feelin numb, not respondin . #,hatever it was went down with the rest of the software,$ he

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added as he ot up. #3orr", kid.$ - read ever" line that wasn/t blacked out. 4air asked if - was all ri ht, and - couldn/t find the stren th to respond. -t wasn/t her, - thou ht. That wasnt who she was an"more, - knew it wasn/t. 0s the detective unlocked the door to leave, - heard a bu:: from someone wantin to come in. Fe opened the door and started screamin about how he was bus" processin victims and how interruptions were a ainst protocol. #-t/s 6ust somethin about that 0C, sir.$ - looked up, because the voice sounded familiar. Fe was the patrolman -/d met on the beach@ he looked past the stern man and seemed to reco ni:e me, too. The detective suddenl" rabbed the bad e han in e'posed from his shirt pocket. #Iirst strike, AIK ,hat part of ;undercover safet" enforcer/ don/t "ou understand2 -f the civilians see a cop comin , "ou/ll never catch them in the actK$ #5ut, sir, the" alread" assume we/re watchin them.$ The detective shoved the bad e into AI/s pocket. #- told "ou to finish renderin the securit" foota e and et back on the streets, now et to workK No more dins to the (al ar" &9K This case is closed and - don/t need "ou an"moreK$ Fe stared at the patrolman until he turned around and left. The detective turned back to face us. #9on/t believe the rumors "ou hear, kid. 0rtificial intelli ence can/t become self%aware. ,hat "ou encountered was probabl" 6ust some elaborate pro ram run amok.$ Fe took a step back inside and spoke in a surprisin l" kind tone. #-t is all pro rammin , 5randon. &ro rammin is all a malvirai can ever obe".$ Fe left the two of us alone. - held the print ti htl" in m" fin ers. 0 soft #No$ escaped m" lips and tears be an to form in m" e"es. -mmediatel", 4air

rabbed the paper out of m" hands and tore it. #That/s police propert"K$ screamed, fear suddenl" for ettin rief. #-s it the truth2$ 4air replied, lookin me in the e"es@ mine wandered and - couldn/t repl". #-s it the truth2$ she asked a ain. #- don/t knowK$ - replied. #The last instant - saw herB when - pressed the button and saw her fade awa"B$ - turned and buried m" head in m" hands. #NoK -t can/t 6ust be because - don/t want it to be true. - have to know, but - can/t. - saw her e"es, 4air. - know sheB -t 6ust wasn/t who she was an"more.$ 4air reached out and hu own two e"es2$ #0re "ou sa"in "ou believe me2$ - asked. #-/m sa"in that - trust "ou. -/m sa"in that "ou were there and -/d rather take the word of an e"ewitness ? especiall" if that man is oin to be m" husband. -/m sa"in that "ou/ve chan ed ? that "ou/re better. M" own two e"es sa" that "ours can be trusted.$ - took a calmin #Thanks, 4air.$ AI was nearb" when we emer ed from the interro ation room. Fe turned down a hallwa", motionin with his head for us to follow. Fe stood halfwa" down the empt" hall, lookin at a troph" case. #suppose - should sa" ;(on ratulations,/ 5randon 9auphin.$ #1ou read m" statement2$ #- was assi ned to look for whatever "ou ran into, to trace the reports of crashed servers since the date "ou ascended at &aciTek.$ #,ell, - don/t feel like someone who should be con ratulated.$ #No2$ he asked, turnin to face me. #5ut "ou won the do fi ht in the breath and wiped the moisture from m" e"es. ed me. The pain diminished and the fo in m" mind broke. #,hat are "ou onna believe, some so%called e'pert or "our

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end. 1ou shot the enem" out of the sk".$ #5ut - didn/t need to destro" her. ,hat kind of man am - that - let m" own problems et in the wa" of helpin anotherB that m" final esture should drive her to suicide2$ AI stared at me, in disbelief. #-s that what "ou think2$ - tried to read his face. Fe seemed so honest and sincere. Even on the beach, even when he didn/t know me at all, this total stran er had cared for me in some wa". Fe raised his hand and tapped a fin er on his head, sendin me a data%burst. some of what he/d amassed from the !oTek case, includin an unedited cop" of the (al ar" police report. There was a sin le comment statin it ma" have been an alpha%class malvirai stron er than five, a comment retracted b" the same technician fort" minutes later. #1ou didn/t encr"pt it,$ 4air said. #,h" would - need to2 0ll thin s hidden shall be revealed, as the verse oes. 0ll thin s encr"pted are 6ust invitations to hackersB or a white hat malvirai.$ #,hite hat2$ #The ood u"s. ,hite hat hackers, - mean,$ 4air answered. #3ometimes, the"/re characters in movies who don/t act out of malice or want to harm ? it/s more for sport or some moral dut", even if it takes them outside the law.$ #That/s ri ht,$ AI said, #but an"one who claims to be moral should respect the law of the societ" the" live in, not 6ust on the surface, but in their hearts@ not 6ust some of the time, but all of the time@ because, even if others don/t know "our actions, you know "our actions, and "our burden will ruin "ou.$ #,h" accept an" burden2$ - asked. #3ome people 6ust don/t care.$ #3ome burdens are worth bearin , but "ou have to make sure it/s "our

own decision, consistent with what "ou know to be ri ht. -f "ou value the truth, if "ou allow nothin to stand in "our wa" seekin it, realit" can onl" lead "ou to hi her purpose. The law hi hli hts those thin s which we do wron , and is onl" effective to punish@ therefore, adherence to the law must be an effect of reater purpose, or else punishment becomes its own. ,hen "ou see be"ond the law, 5randon, "ou can/t obe" it for its own sake an"more, but "ou must obe" it, rather, as a testimon" to those around "ou@ because, if "ou love God and represent him, how can "ou offer to him and others a life of lawlessness2$ #God2$ - asked him. #1ou are one of them, oin around and tellin ever"bod" what to do.$ - thou ht back to the conversation on the beach, to all the people with their +uestions and answers, the seekers of truth. The people like Tom in 9! and AI in the real world. The peace and understandin - knew in !askob was bein reflected in them, as if the" all drew from the same source. #1ou could have fla ed me for a do:en tickets back on the beach,$ reali:ed. #- broke the law, so wh" didn/t "ou punish me2$ #5ecause another ticket wasn/t what "ou needed. 5ecause, 6ust as it isn/t proper for one to simpl" re6ect laws and customs, it also isn/t proper for the enforcers to o around simpl" clubbin people over the head with the rulebooks politicians wrote in their name.$ Fe pulled the bad e out of his pocket and placed it back in the li ht of da". #,e/re imperfect human bein s, too@ and it/s m" dut", not 6ust as an officer, but as a human bein , and "es, a (hristian, to build up those around me@ and ever" opportunit" to do so is a privile e.$ #That/s fine if "ou/re perfect,$ - said, lettin some an er come out, #but don/t "ou remember2 - killed 0ether.$ #,e don/t know that.$

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#5ut - meant to kill her. - deser2e to be arrested. - deser2e to pa" for this. -/m=$ -/m a murderer. #1ou cant pa" for it,$ AI said. #,e can lock "ou up, put "ou to hard labor, and whatever else for a hundred "ears, and it wouldn/t brin someone back from the dead.$ #5ut -/ll feel better,$ - thou ht aloud, reali:in statement was foolish. #,hat law applies here2 ,hat 6ur" would convict "ou2 Fow do "ou find the corpse of someone who didn/t have a bod"2 The ener " of a malvirai, of an" 0-, 6ustB dissipates.$ #-sn/t the human bod" 6ust ener " that dissipates after death2$ - asked. #-s that how fra ile we reall" are, or 6ust the containers we start out in2 Ma"be she still e'ists in some wa", ma"be she/s 6ust as alive or even more so. Ma"be we reall" do e'ist as more than walkin dust. Ma"be there is a hi her law than "ours, officer@ or mine, or (alifornia/s, or an" overnment/s. Ma"be - need to appeal to a hi her court to deal with thisB blemish.$ #Then o to the one who can remove an" blemish,$ AI said. #1ou see "our sin and know it will hold "ou back, 5randon. 1ou know that, if "ou didn/t have it, "ou could o farther than "ou ever dreamed of@ but, instead "ou feel like d"in , and learnin 6ust how valuable "our life is seems to make it worse. 5ut what "ou received was meant as a ift. a new perspective on life. Even now, a reater ift waits for "ou, one that can clear "our record and restore "ou to the innocence of a child, if "ou/ll onl" accept it.$ - e'perienced a mi'ture of 6o" and sadness. &art of me didn/t want to be for iven, but that part had become weak. 0 new identit" was emer in within m"self, one such blind a on" could have no role in. #3he seemed to see me and she knew what - did,$ the patrolman immediatel" the

continued, recitin m" own statement, #but there was some sense of peace around her. - knew she chan ed. - uess - felt - was like a monster who killed a beautiful butterfl" the moment it emer ed from its cocoon, barel" flappin its win s for the first time. 0s - watched her vanish, thou h, even thou h was so sure she knew what - didB it was all ri htB she for ave me.$ #3he for ave "ou,$ 4air repeated. - nodded somberl", knowin -/d answered m" own +uestion. 0s if on cue, we be an walkin awa" from each other, 4air li htl" holdin m" arm. 0fter a few steps, - turned around. #,ait, please. Aust one +uestion. - 6ust have to know.$ AI looked back. #- pra" "ou find "our answer, 5randon@ but "ou should know that bein for iven for our actions doesn/t alwa"s absolve us of their conse+uences. 9escendin al orithms do tend to be prett" solid, -/m sorr" to sa". 1ou ma" not learn the answer to that +uestion for a ver" lon time.$ #ThenB 9o "ou believe in miracles2$ 0 smile rew on his face. #- never rew up enou h to stop believin .$

The >0M -nternational 0ir and 3pace &ort was packed the ne't evenin . M" sister was the last to leave, the last to return to a life thousands of kilometers from the -daho cit" where it be an@ thou h - knew bein separated b" continents and oceans wasn/t the sentence of loneliness it once had been. The need of one of their own brou ht m" famil" to ether, to ive me what needed, even !ich. - considered that, when - for ave m" brother, it drew ever"one closer in a wa" oceans could never separate. 0s with the elves, the an er in those around me had been 6ust as much a reflection of m" own as it had been theirs. ,hen m" an er couldn/t e'ist, their own was put in 6eopard". - decided that, thou h it ma" not alwa"s pa" off ri ht awa", and thou h it ma"

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not alwa"s be eas", - should alwa"s cast m" own 6ud ments aside and sta" positive, so - could build up those - met in life. M" ever%curious fiancGe picked m" sister/s brain as we waited for her fli ht. - smiled thinkin how - alwa"s ended up around such brain" women, and left them to their intellectual bondin . - walked b" the crowded shops and restaurants, b" the kiosks and departure ates to what seemed like ever" re ion of the planet, and even a few off of it. The people were real. The world was real. - was seein it all for the first time, wonderin how - could have missed it for twent"%five "ears of m" life. - looked out toward the sk", painted red%oran e b" the sun settin over the &acific. -t/s the middle of the da" in 0sia, - thou ht. -n Europe and 0frica, the"/re preparin for sunrise. ,e all see the 3un. -t was put there for all of us. 0 streak of li ht shot throu h the sunset. - thou ht of the machines, the airplanes and satellites in the sk", too far up for me to see. Ma"be that means the" aren/t there, - thou ht, and lau hed at m" humilit", seein it was a ood thin after all. - visuali:ed a vast network around the Earth, and called it 9"namic !ealit". a place where lives are lost and lives are saved. -t had been built b" the ima ination of mankind for its own purposes, but now a reater plan was dawnin on it. 9"namic !ealit" had become a real place too, a real part of our identit". - knew there was a reater plan for ever"thin B for ever"one. #Fow "a doin 2 ,ould "ou like to tr" a ala'"%class cinnamon bun2 5u" one do:en and et si' freeK$ - looked from the window and saw a holo ram in the form of a tall brunette, holdin a tra" of cinnamon buns. M" first instinct was to shoo her awa". The ill%defined an er came with the memories of ever" sales%holo ram who had ever bu ed me@ but its source wasn/t pure, and wasn/t in an"one/s best interest. 0n er is statick, - thou ht@ so be a child instead.

M" e"es went down to the fresh pastries. #0re these holo raphic samples, ones that simulate taste and te'ture, but vanish when - swallow it2$ #1es, 5randon. Lero calories. Lero uilt.$ - rabbed one and bit a piece off, never havin appreciated the odd% +ualit" of holo raphic food. The" weren/t as sweet as -/d e'pected, but it seemed like some better, more wholesome, in redient than cinnamon was definin m" ;e'perience./ #0 do:en is available for the low%low price of two%o%nineK 0nd with si' free, that/s ei hteen of our award%winnin cinnamon buns for 6ust two hundred nine dollarsK Gala'"%class taste, moon%si:ed price, as we like to sa"K$ The amai lau hed, as the pro ram dictated she do. - looked into her e"es, a li hter shade of reen than 0ether/s, and lackin ever" deep +ualit" the"/d possessed. This is the price, - thou ht. to see the others around me so hollow. Even if - could snap m" fin ers and wake her up, - wondered, what future can she look forward to as an amai, as a bein not reco ni:ed as more than a pet2 3ome computer enerated her when it saw me, and when - leave she will cease to e'ist. Ever"thin has an end, - thou ht. Ever"one dies. - placed the half%eaten treat back on its tra". #1ou know what2 -/m not hun r".$ - knew she would follow me and hastened to et awa". #Gala'"%class cinnamon buns make a reat ift for friends and co%workers, Mister 9auphin. 1ou can even purchase a ift credit valid for all -nTandem propert=$ 3omethin crashed behind me. The amai stared at the dropped pan and its contents, stunned. #-/ve done a bad thin ,$ she said soberl", seemin like a completel" different entit". 3lowl", - stepped back toward her. 3lowl", she lifted her e"es and saw me a ain, widenin them curiousl". #0re "ou 5randon 9auphin2$

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#1ou/re an amai,$ - said, #"ou can 6ust read the si nal from m" implant, can/t "ou2$ #- found someone named 5randon 9auphin and tried to o to him@ but, "ou look so stran e.$ Fer e"es darted across m" face. Fer hand reached out and touched m" lip. #0re "ou the one who did this to me, are "ou the 5randon 9auphin - met in the Good %cent!%ations store in 3penTek 8incubus2$ - stepped back, nearl" fallin over. #- think -/m malfunctionin somehow,$ she said, #the software said had become invalid. - can/t access m" home an"more@ but, - don/t think -/m malfunctionin at all. - don/t understand what/s wron with me and - reall" don/t want to impose on "ou, such actions are not in m" pro rammin .$ 3he stopped. Fer holo ram be an to flicker. #-t/s not in m" pro rammin ,$ - heard her repeat as she lost cohesion and vanished. #>isaK$ - 6umped forward to the fadin li ht of her presence, but she was one. 0 teena er with lon black hair and a chain around his neck stopped his walk to stare at me mockin l". Fe reached into his pocket and pulled out a small device with an antenna. a 6ammer. #>ike those halo%hotties ever have an"thin ood to sell. 7h ? unless "ou and her were ? "ou know ? - uess couldn/t blame "ou, thou h the"/re never as much fun as the real thin .$ Fe winked and added, #1ou/re welcome,$ as he walked past me. -/d seen his face before, but couldn/t remember where. 0n er welled up inside of me. Fow can that (rat 6ust trample in and tear the amai awa" from me2 Fow dare he trample over m" valuesK -s that how the" see the world2 0ssumin ever"thin to be perverted like them2 That/s not what love isK 0t leastB it/s not what love was meant to be. - ran into his path. 7ur e"es locked. - had seen him before.

#3lammers.$ #Never heard of it.$ #1ou lie.$ #There is no truth.$ #-/ve seen "ou ever" time - went to the beach. 0re "ou onna tell me m" e"es lie2$ #7ka", then how about this truth, 5randon. 3he/s dead and she cursed "ou with her last breathK$ - was suddenl" powerless a ain, as in the paper%paradise, feelin its forces turnin a ainst me, feelin the hatred of its master. Ieelin his power over me. #The facts are mine to control, 5randon,$ the bo" said, #and the flow of information. 9id "ou reall" think it was so eas" as answerin a bunch of philosophical +uestions and throwin "our an er awa"2 That "ou can 6ust ive up the power "ou have a ri ht to, the ri ht to (e a god and make "our own decisions2 1ou will die like the rest of them. Go ahead and be whatever you think a humanitarian is supposed to be, you wont escape m" rasp an" more than those dictators "ou saw. 3erve "ourself in this life, 5randon, because it/s the onl" one "ou/ve otK$ #No,$ - stru led to sa". The bo" lau hed in m" face. - knew it didn/t matter what - said or did, not then, not ever@ but - also knew there was one wa" out of the darkness, more real than an"thin - had ever known. More humblin , like somethin a child would believe in. 3omethin a child would believe in. M" e"es widened. The bo" stopped lau hin . Fe saw m" e"es o down to his hair, his lon hair blowin in the wind. 0 wind all the 6ammers in the world couldn/t hold back. 0s the beam of a flashli ht tears throu h the darkness, a new

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connection was made in m" mind ? a connection - could not see, but felt like m" entire life had been buildin me up to receive@ a ver" personal connection devised 6ust for me, b" a ver" personal God, 6ust so - mi ht have a chance. >ike a child, - thou ht. >ike ettin a second chanceK ,h" is one more desired than two2 ,ho caresK ? - thou ht, God loves meK 0t once m" fear dissolved. - stood tall and looked strai ht into the demon/s e"es. #- si n it over to him.$ The bo" recoiled a little. #1ou think it/s 6ust that eas", 5randon2 0nd what ransom do "ou have to offer2 No ood deed can ever erase a bad oneK -t onl" takes one for "ou to failK That/s the lawK$ #No,$ - said, shakin m" head calml", #1ou/re a liar. 1ou/ve been uidin me to the rave since da" one. Those who seek shall find, those who find shall be saved, and those who are saved don/t have to listen to "ou. 0s of this moment, - seek.$ - walked awa". #,ordsK The"/re such cheap thin sK - know "ou, 5randon 9auphinK know "ou/ve never meant a word "ou/ve said in "our lifeK - know what "ou/re thinkin B it/s a promise for foolsK Iine for when "ou die, but what is he doin for "ou now2 1ou still don/t have a 6ob, "ou still won/t get a 6ob, "ou/re still in debt, and "ou even have murder%one on "our recordK -sn/t a promise 6ust words until it/s broken, 5randon, unless "ou have somethin to back it up with2 1ou have no value to offer to an"oneK$ - kept walkin . #- know.$ #Then "our hope has no basisK$ he continued, his voice no weaker. #1our friend ? "our dead friend ? was so fond of askin +uestions and takin thin s to their lo ical conclusions. ,ell, ask "ourself now, where is the lo ic in acceptin this promise2$ #Grace e'ceeds lo ic, and it doesn/t break a promise.$

#Then hear this, 5randon. a life of rowth is a life of painK 9o "ou want to see the world2 9o "ou want to see people rottin and drownin 2 9o "ou want to spend ever" wakin moment in selfless horror2 7ne da" ? 7ne da"K 1ou/ll come crawlin backK 1ou won/t lastK$ - spun around and shouted, #Go to=$ The bo" was one. - noted the word left han in on m" lips and
reali:ed, all over a ain, wh" people called it ;cursin ./ ,hat have - been willin unto people, - asked m"self. Fave - reall" let m" words become so cheap2

#Talk like a child,$ - thou ht. #3o no rief comes throu h m" lips.$ - turned and ran back toward the kiosks, m" heart respondin to an ur ent call. 0 child. - ot there and nothin , nothin , nothin . - waved m" arms and walked around aimlessl", impatientl"@ and the computer didn/t mark me. Iinall", announced, #-/m hun r" for a cinnamon bun and don/t know where to oK$ #Then bo" are "ou in luck this time, Mister 9auphinK$ 0 sli htl" shorter redhead this time, as if it mattered. - rabbed the holo ram b" the shoulders and looked deep into its e"es. There was no essence, no soul in them. ,h", God2 ,h" breathe life into me if all there is is pain2 ,h" did "ou spare me m" place in oblivion2 - collapsed into a seat and covered m" e"es, but then a hand rubbed somethin on m" neck. - smelled the most wonderful scent. #Fere, sir. 9on/t be sad.$ - looked up and saw the holo ram holdin a perfume bottle. #>isa2$ #-/m sorr" - can/t do more, 5randon. - should o back to m" server and send someone who isn/t malfunctionin .$ - held her hands. #1ou/re not malfunctionin , >isa. 1ou/re a miracleB God/s miracle. 0nd, as he empowers me, - will help "ou.$

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- swiped a ain. 0nother shrill bu:: of denial. -t was a +uiet ride back to the apartment comple', 4air deep in the same thou hts -/d e'perienced so recentl" about artificial intelli ence. M" pain was be innin to heal, - could feel it@ but - knew ood deeds, no matter how important, weren/t ever"thin . 3omethin was still missin , somethin that should lo icall" fit. #,e have arrived at "our destination,$ the amai named 9on said. #1our total char e is seven%twelve%ninet". Fave a random ni ht, Miss 3ornat.$ - watched the amai as - left the metrocab, still tr"in to convince m"self the holo raphic man was nothin more than a computer pro ram. 0 police siren in the distance brou ht m" attention back to realit". The cab pulled awa". #-/m sure "ou/re tired of hearin me sa" this, butB Thanks a ain for what "ou did back there. -t/s not a permanent solution, but -/m sure sheB$ 4air took in a deep breath and calml" released it. 3he smiled and started lau hin . #,hat/s wron 2$ 3he spun around, clearl" elated. #,ron 2 -t/s me who keeps tr"in to thank youK$ ,e were in each other/s arms, smilin . Ever"thin was better, thou ht. - wanted to believe that. 5ut m" foundation was still brittle, still threatenin to break beneath m" feet, to put me back where - was. M" own words came back to haunt me, ;as of this moment, - seek./ - asked m"self if -/d reall" meant them. #Nice work, Austin &eake.$ 4air said when m" first attempt to et in the door failed. #7h, "ou think we/re in the movies,$ - said. #,ell, wh" don/t "ou tell me which of m" hidden c"bernetic limbs will ive me what - need2$ care.$ #-diot, huh2$ #1eah, "ou shouldn/t put up with people like that.$ Third tr". Third failure. -f - hadn/t known better, - would/ve said the door was en6o"in itself. 4air stared amused at me, e'pectin some four%letter word to burst out of m" mouth. - turned and held m" wrist up to her. #3ometimes the hero needs help from the irl. (/monB 8iss for ood luck.$ 4air stared at m" wrist. #3tereot"pe,$ she remarked, kissin the skin over the implant.
#9on/t alwa"s tr" to see the worst in people. 3ometimes Mar arita 6ust=$

#1ou/re luck" the cops didn/t blow the door when we were takin "ou home. - think the" said the" cited "our landlord, but the idiot doesn/t seem to

M" fourth attempt opened the door and revealed m" surprised landlord, her own wrist e'tended to open the door, and holdin some piece of hardware in her other hand. The three of us stared across the open doorwa" until the door timed% out. Mar arita sprun to disable the mechanism. #- uess -/ll ad6ust that while -/m at it.$ Fer e"es met 4air/s but darted to mine. #0re "ou feelin better, Mister 9auphin2 -/m sorr" about bein so short with "ou "esterda"B Econom" the wa" it is, it seems like ever"one/s tr"in to et out of pa"in . Then - have no mone" for maintenance, "ou know2$ - nodded and she ave a small smile. The hardware in her hands was a new doorreader. 4air said nothin as - went to fetch two weeks of mail from m" bo'. #- won/t curse an"more, either.$ 3he remained deep in thou ht for a moment, but waved her hand as if

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the sacrifice were trivial. #,hat ood is it, an"wa"2 (ursin 6ust makes other people mad at "ou. ,ords have meanin s, the" shouldn/t be abused.$ - smiled and sorted throu h the envelopes. 7ne had 4air/s name so handed it to her. #Favin "our mail forwarded alread"2$ #- think "ou ot it backwards, these are m" tickets back to a saner part of the lobe.$ 3he slid her unadorned fin ernail on the envelope as if it were a ra:or blade. ,e ot into the elevator. Normal%lookin ratt" doors folded closed behind us. #Iour.$ The loud mechanism fired up. #1our amai was (ris.$ #,hat2$ - asked. #The" printed it on the ticket,$ she said, showin me, #the same amai who helped me et priorit" tickets to >0, but 6ust two instances of the same pro ram. unthinkin , unfeelin , 6ust e'istin on the whim of the moment.$ 3he stopped. #9o "ou think leavin her runnin is what made >isaB 1ou knowB$ - shru ed m" shoulders. #- uess it couldn/t have hurt. - meanB -s li htnin more likel" to strike a rod when it/s left up for hours or when it/s left up for "ears2$ #9o "ou think it/s as simple as li htnin 2$ 3he responded with a thou htful smile. #-t/s kind of interestin to me that 0ether thou ht she would find the meanin of life in humanit". To think that, from someone/s perspective, were the stran e creatures inhabitin a stran e world, and that were the ones possessin wisdom.$ #1ou/d have probabl" liked her. 0fter she ot over wantin to kill "ou, - mean.$
CAFFEINE

#-t must have been ver" fri htenin . - can/t ima ine what -/d have done.$

- nodded. #There were close calls, but someone else was seein me throu h it.$ ,e walked out into the hall of worn carpet and scratched paint. beautiful wear%and%tear. #Monda",$ - said, notin the date on her ticket. #3o "ou have another da" here, ri ht2$ #0fter all the frustratin attempts from (onnecticut, - assumed - would need a lot of time here.$ #,ell, we can take a trip up the coast tomorrow. There/s a place in 3anta 5arbara -/ve been meanin to look at.$ #,h" 3anta 5arbara2$ /hy, - thou ht. ,hat a beautiful word to wield in one/s vocabular". - responded, #,h" not2$ - heard m" door/s welcomin chime immediatel". #3he must have chan ed m" reader, too.$ - threw the unopened envelopes onto m" mess" coffee table, the whoosh of air causin m" e'pired train tickets to fall to the floor. - bent down and spotted the picture of 4air standin b" the >on -sland 3ound. The picture la" on top of a sealed packa e, with the t"pical ;+" %" R1%:* "?TR"M"+& 1RG"NT messa e boldl" stamped on top. -t was heav". reali:ed - hadn/t opened it the other da". #0 little ener " left, do "ou want to do an"thin toni ht2$ 4air asked as she ran a detan ler over her hair. #Ma"be. - could use a trip to the beach.$ - pulled out a slip of folded "ellow paper. a receipt from the coffee house in 9"namic !ealit". ,here normall" a list of food items would be printed, there was handwritten te't instead.

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#-t is written that those who seek shall find, and that the" should do so with a humble heart, because those who are raised up will be humbled and those who are humbled will be raised up. 5ut it is not b" "our own understandin that "ou will be emancipated from the sin "ou now see, but b" a ift "ou cannot earn. #7n "our acceptance of this that is in "our past, includin ift, "our ever" imperfection will be for otten, and "ou will retain no ri htful cause for rief or fear of death. 0ll the ver" worst acts, will be blotted out permanentl", and the 5randon 9auphin who serves will be free to flourish. The price of salvation is hi h@ but m" race is hi her. 3eek me and find me.$ 5elow the te't, it was si ned. #The son of a pro rammer.$ ,ith it came a leather%bound book. 0 note was taped on top of it. #-nfectious.$ M" e"es darted back to the slip of paper, scannin the child ? he was ? he wasB 5eneath the reen print confirmin the bill had been paid in full, m" e"es cau ht on somethin else. four words lon . >ike a master architect, !askob had iven me e'actl" what - needed e'actl" when - needed it. - knew immediatel" what had happened to 0ether, and to 3cott. - knew it had been !askob who put the dais" back in her hair, and what that flower had represented. ,ith four mundane words, - was able to share in 0ether/s 6o". 17H! 0M0- ,03 30>>-E ever" word repeatedl", unable to believe what - was readin . !askob ? the ood !askob ?

wasn/t read" to call it beautiful, - didn/t mind it so much. 0 monitor in 5ill/s kitchen%slash%office was tuned to a talk show on @elka %ix, showin and photos of what was bein %u)erno2a. #Ever"thin we know about the universe sa"s this is impossible,$ a man/s voice was sa"in . #5ecause of the e'pansion of the cosmos, we e'pect to see the li ht of stars shifted into the red side of the li ht spectrum@ but we/re seein the li ht from this bod" is blue%shifted instead, to such a small de ree it/s hard to tell, but it/s been measured and confirmed.$ #0nd "ou think that means it/s artificial2$ a woman/s voice responded. #-f this ob6ect is as far awa" as cosmolo ists think it is, how do we know the laws overnin li ht and ener " aren/t radicall" different outside of our corner of the universe, or that some ob6ects aren/t movin in other directions2 -t could be orbitin =$ #-t has to be artificial,$ the man said on%camera, #or else ever"thin we know about the universe has to be rewritten. ,e know the (elestials are advanced enou h technolo icall" to pull this off, else how could the" have be un life on Earth2 (learl", the"/re tr"in to send us a messa e.$ #3ee, that/s "our problem,$ the woman said, #it/s like ever"one on Earth needs somethin to worship, so the" feel s)ecial and im)ortant. ,ell, we/re not special, we/re 6ust animals who evolved from primates over thousands of "ears. Thats the messa e more people need to hear, and no real scientist would +uestion=$ - sent the off%command to his monitor@ rememberin what - saw on the beach, what a roup of ;the destined/ had done to !askob/s sandcastle, all so the" could worship a star. The whole world was dividin into roups, runnin raphics recorded in histor" as The Christmas

The beach house had the same peelin wallpaper, creak" floorboards, and smell of ci ar smoke -/d e'perienced a hundred times before@ but, while -

to worship ever" created thin , abusin ever" beautiful ift, and den"in the creator himself.

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The kid from 3lammers had been ri ht. - did see thin s that hurt, but, thou h - felt betra"ed on the creator/s behalf, - wasn/t overcome b" it. The +uestion hadn/t disappeared, but had been fulfilled, and - knew tomorrow could be better. That/s what God put tomorrow there for. #5randon.$ 5ill 6umped from his chair and plopped his cop" of Destiny for a New &ou on the table. #- knew itB the"/re tr"in to communicate with us. 9idn/t "ou hearB the star is blue%shifted, so that means it/s artificial. 0ll we have to do is find out what the"/re tr"in to sa" and we/ll learn all the secrets of the universeK$ #1ou/re worth more than this, 5ill,$ - said, puttin m" fin er on his book. #,e all are.$ #,ell,$ he said, tr"in to re ain his mind, #then what/re "ou doin here2 0 6ob, ri ht2 ,ell, for et itK$ (ou h. #- don/t have an"thin K$ (ou h. #0ctuall", - 6ust wanted to brin "ou a ift.$ - pulled the leather%bound book out and placed it on top of his. #Fol" 5ible,$ 5ill read aloud. #-sn/t that supposed to be ancient or somethin 2$ #1eah, - uess it is,$ - mused. #7lder than the universe, in a wa".$
#,ell, thanks but - don/t want an old book. Give me what/s fresh and new.$

#,ell, send me a din and let me know what "ou think. -/m still learnin m"self@ but, aren/t we all2$ 5ill smiled. #1ou on somethin , kid2 3omethin /s different about "ou toda".$ - turned to leave. #(all it self%awareness.$ #Fe", wait%up.$ 5ill met me in the entrance to the hallwa". #,h"/d "ou come to see a dead do like me, huh2 1ou/re not here to pester me for a 6ob2$ #-f "ou have one, -/d love to hear it,$ - replied. #5ut no, - 6ust came to ive "ou the ift.$ #7h, well, ahB No one/s iven me a ift in a lon time, -/ll, ahB see what - can do about ettin "ou some workB "ou know how it is ri ht after New 1ear/s.$ 4air stood out on the beach. 3he was lookin up, her lon hair flowin in the currents of the wind. #,ho/s that2$ 5ill asked, takin a step down the hall. #M" fiancGe. The second%best thin that ever happened to me.$ #1eah2 ,hat was the first2$ - smiled. #The reali:ation of how much she meant to me.$ 5ill let out a lau h. #1ou are on somethin . ,hatever it is, - want it.$ - looked at him. #,hatever it is eased up "our cou h, 5ill.$ Fe paused for a moment and cleared his throat. #,ell, hopefull" won/t need to ni htmare.$ Fe patted me on the back and turned to the kitchen. - stepped off the deck onto the sand, revelin in the stron ocean% bree:e. The (hristmas 3upernova remained the bri htest point of li ht over the &acific. et m" lun s rebuilt a ain. The board/s paperwork is a

#,hat sta"s fresher than the truth, or newer than a faith with several billion people2$ #,ell,$ 5ill said, #9estin"/ll have several billion peopleB$ (ou h. #-t/ll have ever"bod" when the aliens show up and tell us wh"=$ (ou h. #,h" we/re here.$ #,e can alread" find out wh" we/re here,$ - said. #,e can alread" have faith in somethin be"ond our own ima inations.$ #9estin" ain/t faith, it/s scienceK$ - shru ed m" shoulders. 5ill stared at the 5ible for a moment. #7ka", -/ll have a look.$
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#-t/s hard to believe, isn/t it2 That somethin so far awa" can outshine all the other stars2$ #- never even thou ht to look at it.$ 0 tear streaked down her cheek. #Now it/s like - can/t look awa".$ #1ou/re not ettin emotional on me, are "ou2$ 4air reali:ed she was cr"in and wiped the tear awa". #No, of course not.$ #7h, "ou/re such a c"bor .$ #1ou/re one to talk, Mister Malvirai.$ 3he tapped her fin er on m" forehead. #FN09( is modeled after the human brain, "ou know. Fow do we know she didn/t 6ust descend ri ht into that skull of "ours2$ #,ell, ma"be that e'plains wh" -/ve been able to hack into "our heart so well.$ #Throu h the double%firewall - have set up2 Never.$ ,e kissed. -t wasn/t a kiss of imitation, or of ritual, but of ever" real thin a kiss should represent. #Fapp" New 1ear,$ 4air said, her brown e"es a:in calml" into m" own. #Fapp" New Ever"thin ,$ - replied, brushin m" hand throu h her 6et% black hair, aware of how normal its indi o stripe had become for me, and lad knowin it was absent. 3ometimes normal chan es, - thou ht. 3ometimes we find a better normal. #1our book/s one,$ she said. The calmness leavin her roamin e"es. #5ill/s the onl" one - know who reads print,$ - e'plained. #- can/t et throu h ten words without oin cross%e"ed. 5esides, - can download the 5ible to m" 3N9> from, like, a trillion servers, and - can read it at a do:en times the speed.$

#1ou kids nowada"s and "our implantsB$ 5ill stepped onto the beach. #-t/s about the Auality of what "ou read, not the Auantity.$ - sensed some an er risin in 4air, an er she/d con6ured on m" behalf, knowin the one who wasn/t ivin me work didn/t deserve an" ift. - put m" hand on her shoulder and felt the an er come out of her. 4air looked at me. #1ou/re reall" serious about this, aren/t "ou2$ -n her e"es, - saw what la" be"ond her walls, the root of so much potential. - saw the child within her, she who was blessed with curiosit". - saw - loved her as God loved her, and that, with God, throu h (hrist, there reall" were no limits to what we could do. #3o is the one who reached out to me.$

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17
I could never go back. It was a painful transition for me, like before a butterfly spreads its wings a human being breaking out of its programming. #here was a meaning in my life, a reason for me to be here, and it wasn&t a reason I could make up as I went along. I wasn&t a God. God is God, and it was through him I found out who I really was. I asked for a blessing on the future of me and my wife. #here was an opening in 7air&s company and I received the permits to move to =onnecticut. While packing I uncovered the ?ebruary statement from my financial insurer, a testament to my imperfect housekeeping, and noticed everything had been payed off during Aanuary. Whoops. I had mi!ed feelings about reporting Aether&s nine$figure deposit to the police, and I had to remind myself what the patrolman said being free from the law in spirit still meant respecting it while on this 'arth% or on 4una, or on 3ars, or whatever corner of creation human innovation takes us. #he =hristmas )upernova remained in the sky until summer, and everyone /umped to market their own interpretation of it. I knew the truth was out there and imagined the day when we could travel such distances, wondering what its neighborhood looked like. I wondered what science will have revealed by then, and how much or how little its laws might resemble those of :CD;. God bless the e!plorers, I thought. It was a long time before I set foot in an ascension booth again, and I all but stopped drinking Amber >lus, or any energy drink. I formed the irritating habit of asking why to myself, and do I need this? I
CAFFEINE

would grant every amai I encountered the benefit of a doubt, even treating them kindly, knowing their software was designed to e!pect the reverse. #he pain and emptiness of Aether&s death returned from time to time, and I accepted it as something I deserved. I knew my creator loves to remove sin, and therefore my sin had lost its power over me. After all, I thought, if the blood of his son will cover a malvirai, maybe it&s powerful enough to cover me, too. A cool autumn bree0e blew through the chapel in New "aven on the day of our wedding. 7air was still young and fragile in her own faith, and agreed to the church setting more because it was so unusual than for any spiritual reason. At first, she entertained spirituality as a 8What if*9 and claimed we weren&t living in science fiction, where such +uestions seemed to belong. I knew it as fact and, I also knew, with prayer, the connection within her would be made by another. I could only show her the door. )he would have to walk through it by her own will. I saw the good I could do, and I saw the relationships in my life getting stronger. Richard, the brother I&d hated for so long, was my best man. 4isa, whose true nature was known only to me, my sister, and my bride, was the decorator, eager to participate in strange human customs, eager to prove herself to her mentor, )allie, and hoping to encounter another malvirai like Aether one day, to be the conduit for its salvation. 7air&s mother, who originally upheld her daughter could only marry a veetoo, had come to accept me, because her son (ean loved his sister and wanted to bring down the walls within his own family. #he biggest surprise came when 7air&s father arrived, sober. I knew my

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bride still felt betrayed by him, but I convinced her to give him another chance. I told her she didn&t have to deal with anything alone anymore, that we always have help. I was so used to being broken in wallet and in spirit, but now I stood wealthy among men. 'ven when the tide of money would run low, I held something infinitely more important that could never be taken from me. )o, what is the meaning of life* #he +uestion is as philosophical as they come, not one pri0ed by those who find no hope in tomorrow, by those who believe they are an end unto themselves their own god, or by those who treat the +uestions like cheap words and claim answers don&t e!ist, who stall out and compromise before answers come together, who aren&t able to discover the logical conclusion is reached where wisdom becomes nonsense, where the answer will not break under any future. #o discover the logical conclusion of life is to die and be born again. #he ma0e of one&s own concept of good and evil cannot stand. #o allow this ma0e to fall is to be humbled, and to be humbled is to be receptive. I find myself wondering if the answer I found was the same one Aether found, or the same one 7air would find in time. I saw we were all created differently, and that the diversity was beautiful. I reali0ed diversity can help bring +uestions to their answers, and the truth will be that which stays the same from all angles. What if? I thought. What if an AI could become self$aware* What if God loved them, too, even calling those who destroyed* What if God could use them, too*
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I saw the creator could reach whomever he wanted, even sinners. I saw such grace made death itself illogical. I wondered if the truth then revealed could be called logical at all. #he logical conclusion of life, is life.

Cha)ter %e2enteen* Day(reak

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About the Author

Ryan Grabow raduated from >on -sland Hniversit" in 200D, with a 5achelor/s 9e ree in Electronic Media, and currentl" directs for television newscasts in Iort M"ers, Ilorida. Caffeine is his first novel, combinin his (hristian faith with observations on how communications technolo " has impacted the realit" of our lives, and drawin from his e'perience as a webmaster, pro rammer, and spiritual eek as points of speculation. !"an has a website at www.e rabow.com.

Credits# Cop$ri%hts
&and 'ears oh "$!(
(redit oes to the Fol" 3pirit XduhY. ,ithout Fim blessin me with the idea for this stor", "ou/d probabl" be readin about m" T4 Guide collection. Thanks also to !"anne 5ate", (hris Ebert, and Mike 3kold for their help proofreadin the lon est an"thin -/ve written to date. 7h "eah, and to m" mom, too... on whose advice - chan ed #4er$ to #4air,$ which actuall" sounds ri ht when - read it. .Y Thanks also to 3plashdown 5ooks for those few last edits and for puttin this book into print. Ma" God bless them and their readers richl". 3cripture taken from the Fol" 5ible, NE, -NTE!N0T-7N0> 4E!3-7NZ. (op"ri ht ) 1*O<, 1*OE, 1*ED b" -nternational 5ible 3ociet". 0ll ri hts reserved throu hout the world. #EGrabow Media$ is not a le al entit", but a brand the author applies to his work. This version was created in the Hnited 3tates of 0merica b" !"an Grabow, and is electronicall" available worldwide at e rabow.comRcaffeine. -f "ou en6o"ed this work, the author encoura es "ou to share it with others. -t is a free download, after all, which can le all" be printed and copied under the terms of its license. This work is licensed under the (reative (ommons 0ttribution% Noncommercial%No 9erivative ,orks <.0 Hnited 3tates >icense. To view a cop" of this license, visit http.RRcreativecommons.or RlicensesRb"%nc%ndR<.0RusR or send a letter to (reative (ommons, 1O1 3econd 3treet, 3uite <00, 3an Irancisco, (alifornia, *D10C, H30.

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