ALAN ANSWERS

When it comes down to the nitty-gritty, the #1 reason why most men shy away from being verbally direct is usually because of one of these two things: 1) A profound fear of rejection; and/or 2) A profound fear of being harshly criticized and/or insulted by women; If you took those two fears away from men, just about all men would have no problem verbalizing their sexual desires and interests to women. I guarantee you.

Quote from: AnthonyD on January 15, 2011, 01:40:32 AM this is actually a question regarding your mode 1 philosophy, no bad intent meant but: i'm a college student, and it seems that indirect-direct is definitely the most effective way to go. direct, if unsuccessful, will lead to my 'perverseness' being spread among social groups like wildfire. so surely, in my own case, 'mode 1' isn't the way to go?

That is not true. Why do you think you will be perceived as a "pervert" in response to exhibiting Mode One Behavior? I've been exhibiting Mode One Behavior for over 25 years, and I don't think I've ever been called "creepy" and/or "perverted." The worst I've been called is 'rude' and 'crass' sometimes. You don't have to go up to a woman and say, "Hey Bitch ... I want to fuck you in the mouth! Boom!" You can simply say, "Excuse me ... I think you are very attractive and very hot, and I would love to get to know you in a more intimate manner sometime in the near future ... what about next Friday or next Saturday."
Quote from: AnthonyD on January 15, 2011, 01:40:32 AM i mean, i would love to tell certain lovely females that yes, i would indeed love to fuck you. but should it go wrong, it will forever harm my image.

Right now, that is a problem for you. You are afraid of harsh criticism and having your image & reputation tainted. This is what causes men to become, and remain, in a "Mode Two" frame of mind. You can never truly be Mode One if you afraid of harsh, subjective criticisms.
Quote from: AnthonyD on January 15, 2011, 01:40:32 AM now you might say, 'don't approach girls within your social circles', however even approaching girls whom i've never met before can end up badly, as i've discovered in the past. kids these days are linked up very well on facebook, and more often than not, if i'm approaching within my borough, or any neighbouring borough, there is likely to be at least one mutual friend. it has happened in the past, so it's likely to happen again. my question to you, really, is: is mode one really applicable in my circumstance? that is, without the fear of bad image?

Again, you cannot truly be Mode One if you are dreadfully afraid of being harshly criticized. You have to free your mind of all fears in order to be Mode One...

Quote from: Tony on January 15, 2011, 06:43:23 PM And you just went from 'caring about other people's opinions' to 'I don't give a fuck' in the blink of an eye? As this might well be one of the most common, so called, sticking points in the community... respect So how did that happen?

Here is the thing that most people don't understand about Mode One Behavior, and I said this to the guys at The Direct Approach Dating Summit in London: Mode One Behavior is not a "seduction technique" and/or a "method" designed to get men laid. For example, Erik Von Markovik's "The Mystery Method." Everything about that centers on getting laid. If you read my book, Mode One, you will see that I say in my book that getting pussy is more so a "fringe benefit" and "by-product" of exhibiting Mode One Behavior more so than it is the "specific objective" of exhibiting Mode One. Mode One is more so about overcoming your fear of rejection, and overcoming your fear of harsh, subjective criticisms from others. In other words, exhibiting Mode One

is about getting to a point where you just absolutely, positively do not give a fuck what other people ... and particularly women ... say about you and think about you. With Mode One, I just really concentrate on two things: 1) When a meet a new woman, why do I really want to converse with this woman, and why do I really want to share her company? 2) Once I have identified what my true desires, interests and intentions are ... how am I going to go about communicating these desires, interests and intentions to her? Answer those 2-3 questions is basically what Mode One is all about.

Quote from: 3under on January 29, 2011, 11:39:09 PM Quote from: ModeOne4Ever on January 09, 2011, 12:11:39 AM There was an attractive Asian woman who joined David X and I on stage named "Sophie." Initially, Sophie said, "No man has to 'tell' a woman that he wants to fuck her. We (as women) know as soon as men start a conversation with us what they want (i.e., some pussy)." But then ... about 20 minutes later ... David X asked her why she hadn't had sex yet with a guy who was one of her male "platonic" friends. Sophie's response? "Well ... I'm not

so sure my [platonic] friend actually wants to sleep with me ... I mean, he's never said that specifically ...."
I call bullshit on this woman. When she said, "I'm not so sure my [platonic] friend actually wants to sleep with me" what she's REALLY saying is, "Since he never stated his sexual intention, I'm going to PRETEND like I'm sexually interested in him by flirting to keep him around for attention (and then some if he allows it). If for whatever reason, he states his sexual interest in me, I'm going to say I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD SEXUAL INTERESTS EVEN IF I REALLY DID and reject him. After all, since he never stated his intentions upfront, he gave me the excuse to play stupid and manipulate him." For me, the important about M1 is, you get to quickly determine who is GENUINELY interested in you and those who are PRETENDING to be interested in you. 3Under knows what's up. Good post mate. So true. So true. I tell men all of the time: That's the main reason why I love exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Is not just simply or solely to "get laid."

The beauty of Mode One Behavior is that it helps you cut through all of the unnecessary bullsh** and manipulative head games. As 3Under said, Mode One Behavior helps you quickly and effectively distinguish women who are genuinely interested in you (i.e., Reciprocators) from those who are "pretending" to be interested in you (i.e., Time Wasters) ... and similarly ... Mode One Behavior helps you quickly and effectively distinguish women who are genuinely notinterested in you (i.e., Rejecters) from those women who are "pretending" not to be interested in you (i.e., Wholesome Pretenders / Erotic Hypocrites). Again .... 3Under knows what's up.

Quote from: 3under on February 01, 2011, 04:20:57 AM One of the main benefit for me with M1 is how fast I get rejected from women who would've rejected me later. Before, it was a crap shoot for me. If the woman had sexual interest in me, I eventually got laid. If she didn't, I'd go on dates and waste anywhere from 1-20 hours. In other words, I got the timewasters to reject me in the 5 minutes rather than 5 hours (or more). Yep, yep. This is the primary benefit of exhibiting Mode One Behavior. You're able to identify both "Pretenders" and "Time Wasters" much quicker than you would if you were exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. I hate wasting time with "manipulative head games." I want to cut through the B.S. and get to the point.

Quote from: 3under on February 01, 2011, 04:20:57 AM Let me get your opinion on this, Alan. I think this whole thing about "what to do if a woman says this" or "what to do if she does this or acts like this" or "this is how you should say or act to get her attracted to you" is pretty much trivial. Yep, yep. Secondary and trivial, if not flat-out irrelevant. Quote from: 3under on February 01, 2011, 04:20:57 AM The reason I find it trivial is that I believe a woman has sexual interest in you or she doesn't, and if she doesn't, the odds are pretty much against you. As you know, I say all of women fall into four categories: - Women who are interested in you, and will straightforwardly tell you (Reciprocators) - Women who are NOT interested in you, and will straightforwardly tell you (Rejecters) - Women who are interested in you, but will initially, temporarily or indefinitely "pretend" as though they are not (Pretenders) - Women who are NOT interested in you, but will initially, temporarily or indefinitely

"pretend" as though they are (Time Wasters) At any given point in time, a woman is one of those four categories. Quote from: 3under on February 01, 2011, 04:20:57 AM I say that women make up their minds very quickly (about 30 seconds) whether they'll sleep with you or not, so why invest any time or effort after she makes up her mind? Go M1 after she makes up her mind and be willing to walk away if you don't get your desired result. If she sticks around, she's interested in you. Just let nature take its course. What do you think, Mode? You're about right. It may not be exactly 30 seconds ... but at maximum, it's about 10-15 minutes. The average is about 3-to-5 minutes, based on my conversations with women. Women have two different decisions, regarding their interest in you: The "if" decision, and the "when" decision. Deciding IF they are going to sleep with you COMES FIRST. Again, that happens usually within the first 3-to-5 minutes of the conversation. Deciding WHEN they are going to sleep with you could happen in the first conversation (especially if you're Mode One), or it could come in the 2nd, 3rd or 4th conversation. Now I do believe that your personal charm and confidence can get you to change a woman's mind from wanting to have sex with you after the 4th Date to wanting to have sex with you after the 1st or 2nd interaction. That can happen. But again, if a woman is just flat-out NOT INTERESTED ... you are not going to change that woman's mind. Ever.

More than likely, she is going to toy with you while you are "gaming" her. A man should lay his desires and interests on the table in a confident, upfront, unapologetic and straightforwardly honest manner ... and then let the results take care of themselves.

Quote from: 3under on February 04, 2011, 09:14:02 AM With those ambivalent woman, "putting them on the spot" by going M1 before she made her decision might make her reject you (actually, it can go either way). That's why it's important to be able to read woman (which is easier said than done, it's not like I'm good at it) and time when you go M1.

Being able to read a woman's body language signals and cues is always important. But men should not concern themselves with the prospect of being rejected.

Good stuff Neil. I always tell guys: Mode One Behavior is not a "seduction technique" or a "method." Mode One Behavior is a MINDSET and an underlying attitude and demeanor you maintain CONSTANTLY. Being Mode One is not solely and specifically about getting laid. That is what a lot of guys don't get.

That has not been my experience. Matter of fact, I would argue almost just the opposite. In my opinion, it is many of the indirect approaches that further damage the "newbies" selfconfidence. Why? Because most indirect methods and techniques are all about preventing and/or avoiding negative reactions, criticisms, insults and rejection. As 3Under just pointed out above, when you do that ... that is a for-sure recipe for getting played/manipulated by women. Rejection is not what causes misogynistic bitterness in the long-run. It is being MISLEAD and MANIPULATED that causes men to become bitter misogynists.

Speaking for myself, the only time I liked indirect approaches was when I successfully ended up dating a woman and/or having sex with a woman. But in those instances where I got rejected, I usually felt angry, frustrated, and bitter. Primarily because I usually ended up investing a lot of time, effort and even money. When I switched to direct / Mode One, not only did I feel good when I got laid ... but I felt good even after being rejected. Rejection no longer bothered me, or left me feeling angry, frustrated or bitter. It was usually the opposite. With Mode One, you will find it is typically THE WOMEN who leave the conversation feeling angry, frustrated and bitter. Not you. For me, there was no "slow transition" from being indirect to direct. I literally switched from indirect to direct in a matter of a few days and/or a handful of weeks.