Encyclopedia Brown Based on the Character Created by Donald J.

Sobol

EXT. STREETS - DUSK SERIES OF SHOTS: A empty street. An decrepit apartment building casts its shadow amongst the setting sun. 1970s-esque music comes in as ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN struts down the street. Brown is the coolest motherfuckin 10 year old around. Hes wearing sunglasses. Maybe hes not the most practical cat, because theres no need for sunglasses at this time, but I digress. Hes chewing on a lollipop, but throws the empty stick the ground. He walks up to the apartment building and leans up against the wall. He is one cool cat. A lady carrying groceries buzzes herself into the apartment, and Brown slinks in behind her, the sly bastard. INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT Brown walks up the stairs as he takes off his sunglasses. He walks up to door 2B. Ratatatat, he knocks away. The door swings open. A strung out looking 20-something is standing in the doorway, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. His name is PHILIP CLARENCE PAULSON, better known as Phil. Since Brown is a mininature person, being ten and all, Phil doesnt see him right away. PHIL Who the hell... He looks down and sees the junior detective. PHIL Hey kid, whats up? You need to some H? ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN If by H you mean a hero, no, Ive got that pretty much covered. Encyclopedia Brown spits. Phil is kind of struck by his coolness, but snaps out of it when the spit hits the ground.

(CONTINUED)

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2.

PHIL What the fuck man!? Have some dignity. Dont just spit in my place of living! ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN Cut the cheese, man. You know what Im here about, dont act like a common Oscar the Grouch with me. Phil runs his hand through his hair. PHIL Whoa, that last Qualuude is fuckin with me. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN What? PHIL Why are you here again? This isnt Seseme Street, dude. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN Please, Seseme Street was like Compton compared to this poo-shack. Phil mouths "poo-shack" in confusion. PHIL Wait, do you need a little... Phil pantomines oral sex. PHIL ...because that aint me dude. Franklin on the other hand...I can give you his number. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN No thanks, I had a lollipop on my way up. May I come in? We have many an issue to discuss. PHIL Uh...sure. Encyclopedia walks into the room.

3. INT. ROOM 2B - NIGHT Phil follows him in. Brown sits on a couch and takes out a notepad from his polo-pocket. This cat comes prepared. Phil sits at the table and ashes his cigarette. PHIL So, seriously kid. Whats the deal? I can get you pot if you want, but itll be 25 a bag. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN I dont want any of your drugs, fiend! Phil is visibly hurt by the comment. PHIL Hey, man, its just a way to get through the day. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN I know it was you. PHIL What...what was me? ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN You sold poor Charlie Stewart some pot laced with that white coca-cola. Hes dead now. PHIL Fuck. How did you know it was me? ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN Well... FLASHBACK: A young boy is unconcious on the ground, Brown stands over him and holds up a half-full bag of pot. He smells it. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN I was the one that found Charlie. His body was pale and cold. The bag was on him. I brought it to my guitar teacher Tyrone who confirmed my suspicions. Now in Paterson, he talks to his boy Tyrone, who tells him the strain: Aspen Chairlift. They do a quick handshake and peace.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN It was Aspen Chairlift. A strain that was new to the east coast, but had been decemating the North west for almost six months now.

4.

Encyclopedia Brown holds a note that says the strain name as he sits on a swing at the playground. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN I decided to then go to the highschool where I quickly found my answer. At the highschool, Encyclopedia Brown interegates a high-schooler in the boiler room through water-boarding. Encyclopedia Brown is screaming at him, the ten-year old is cold, calculating and ultimately terrifying. I mean for gods sake, hes like a mini-sherlock Holmes. That kid must be smart as fuck, which means hes equally insane. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN A nice fellow quickly told me where I could score a bag of this fine erb. Encyclopedia leaves the highschool with a note in his hand. It contains an address. He takes a lollipop and pops it in. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN And that lead me right to you. FLASHBACK ENDS. Phil is flabbergasted. He puts out his cigarette and gets up and walks towards Encyclopedia. He leans in close. PHIL Fuck, did you call the police. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN Ha! I did this pro-bono. I dont need the pigs to bring a scumbag like you to justice. PHIL Good. Phil stands up straight, reaches into his robe and quickly produces a hand gun and points it to Browns head. CUT TO BLACK SCREEN. A gunshot. (CONTINUED)

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5.

CUT BACK TO: We see Encyclopedia Browns bloody corpse slumped on the couch, a huge blood splatter paints the wall red. Phil leans over the body, reaches in the dead boys pocket and takes out a library card. It reads Leroy "Encyclopedia" Brown. PHIL Hah. For someone with the nickname Encyclopedia, he sure knew how to use "pro-bono" in the wrong context. Fucking kid. CUT TO BLACK. FIN