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ENTERTAINMENT
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AROUND TOWN
Around Town 20
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FEATURES
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One Man’s Opinion 02
It’s A Man Thing 07
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EVENTS HOT SPOT Times 11
Under Grace Music & Dance 35 HOT SPOT Rates 15
Rose Royce at Frozen Paradise 06 Hot Girl 22
Police News 33 Man Spot 22
On The Job 19
W. W. Law Foundation 03
“One Man’s Opinion”
Part I
I reached in my desk drawer the other day to clip some papers
together and found out I only had one paper clip left. No big deal, I’ll
just pick up a box on my next trip to the business supply store. In a
day or two I go into Maximum Office and find out that I can’t just buy
one box of paper clips, I have to buy four boxes, because they’re bundled together. I don’t want four
boxes, I want one, It will take me eight or nine years to use up four boxes of paper clips. So I asked
for help and the clerk hands me a box of Special Gold Tone Premium Paper Clips for I guess about
$300 a box, or so it seemed. I don’t want Special, Royal, Premium, Blessed, Intergalactic, Hand
Formed Paper Clips, I want plain old fashioned paper clips.

So I go to Office Station, they don’t carry single boxes of paper clips either. They only have four
boxes together or the Ergonomically Correct, Environmentally Friendly, Sterile, Child Safe Paper
Clips made from Recycled Materials for $9.99 each, I think. So again I walk out of the store.

I decided to give it one more try, so I go to The Stapler House. Once more, I find the usual four box
package of paper clips in Name Brand and The Stapler House Brand. The only single boxes were
for Gourmet, Individually Wrapped, Pre-Cleaned, Processed, with Electrostatic Paint, Hand Woven
Paper Clips imported from the Arunta Tribe of Central Australia which sold for $9,000 with a three
year parts and labor warranty and a $200 gift card rebate, I think. So I just gave up in defeat.

No I didn’t buy ANY paper clips, I just asked the teller at the bank if she had any paper clips lying
around from deposits and she handed me a handful and thanked me for taking them, saying she
normally just threw them away and really didn’t want to because she got so many. When I got home,
I checked to see if I had any clips from the Arunta Tribe, because I’m sure I can make a killing if I
sold them on Ebay.

Just, One Man’s Opinion.


“Live Long and Prosper”

Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher

Thanks Savannah, for 11 Years of the HOT SPOT!


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Laughs Laughs

A guy named Ron is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he A young blind boy is being tucked into bed
knows everybody. So his buddy bets $10 the next person by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy,
to walk in the bar didn't know him. Somebody walks in pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your
the bar and says "Hey Ron what's up?" so the guy then
bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see
wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok
outside walking down the street. So they go outside and mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morn-
see some coming up to the bar and says "Hey Ron how are ing, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY!
things going?". Flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the
know the President. So they drive up to the white house
and the security guard says "Ron you know you can't just mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
show up here like this." Then a limo pulls up with the
president in it and he rolls down the window and says The patient says, "Give me the bad news
"Hey Ron how have you been?" So then he bets him first!"
$1000 he doesn't know the Pope. So they take a plane
down to Rome and he says" OK now watch up there on Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope." So "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?"
he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. asks the patient.
He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I
know the Pope?" he goes "No somebody walked behind
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
me and said who's that guy up there with Ron!" Looking relieved the patient says,
"Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't
have AIDS."
Laughs Laughs
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any
office and asked to speak with her doctor. horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby
When the receptionist asked why she was city. The farmer cocked his head for a
there, she replied, “I’d like to have some moment, then began in a patient tone, "
Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of
birth control pills.” damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em
trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a
and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, couple drops of acid where their horns
but you’re 80 years old. What would you would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still,
possibly need birth control pills for?” there are some breeds of cattle that never
grow horns. But the reason this cow don't
The woman replied, “They help me sleep have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a
better.” horse."

The doctor considered this for a second, and "What time does the library open?" the man on the
phone asked. "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And
continued… “How in the world do birth what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle
control pills help you sleep?” of the night to ask a question like that?" "Not until
nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
The woman said, “I put them in my grand- "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do
you want to get in before nine A.M.?" "Who said I
daughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to
night.” get out."
The Cheaters or So They Say
For Advertising in the For Advertising in the
HOT SPOT Contact: HOT SPOT Contact:
Gary (843) 226-8829 Denny (912) 428-3701

TheHotSpotMagazine.com
Laughs
An old farmer had owned a large farm
for several years. He had a large pond
in the back forty, had it fixed up nice;
picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basket-
ball court, etc. The pond was fixed for
swimming when it was built. One eve-
ning the old farmer decided to go down
to the pond, as he hadn't been there for
a while, and look it over. As he neared
the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. As he came closer
he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made
the women aware of his presence and
they all went to the deep end of the
pond.

One of the women shouted to him,


"We're not coming out until you
leave!" The old man replied, "I didn't
come down here to watch you ladies
swim or make you get out of the pond,
I only came to feed my alligators." Old
age and treachery will triumph over
youth and skill every time!
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Laughs

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's
a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on
the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made
a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Lucy raised a hand and said, "Our family are farmers, too. But we raise chickens for the meat mar-
ket. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this
story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched." "That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a
story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am! My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Marge. She was a flight engineer during Desert
Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey,
a machine gun and a Machete. So .. she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until it ran out of
bullets! Then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last 10 with her bare
hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that hor-
rible story?" "Stay away from Aunt Marge when she's been drinking."
Laughs Laughs
A man was chosen for jury duty who really A lawyer defending a man accused of
wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried
every excuse he could think of but none of them
burglary tried this creative defense: "My
worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to client merely inserted his arm into the
give it one more shot. As the trial was about to window and removed a few trifling
begin, he asked if he could approach the bench. articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail
to see how you can punish the whole
"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from individual for an offence committed by his
this trial because I am prejudiced against the de-
fendant. I took one look at the man in the blue
limb."
suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest
face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, "Well put," the judge replied. "Using
your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!" your logic, I sentence the defendant's
arm to one year's imprisonment. He can
With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get accompany it or not, as he chooses."
back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the
defendant's lawyer."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's
assistance he detached his artificial limb,
laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Laughs Laughs

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural
want to speak to my lawyer." The recep- Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into
a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
tionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer
died last week." The next day the same As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
guy phones the law firm and says, "I farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer
what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a
want to speak to my lawyer." Once again duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to
the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but retrieve it."
your lawyer died last week."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and
your not coming over here."The indignant lawyer
The next day the guy makes his regular replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in the UK,
call to the law firm and say, "I want to and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and
take everything that you own.
speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir,"
the receptionist says, "but this is third The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you
time I've had to tell you that your lawyer don't know how we do things in Scotland. We settle
small disagreements like this, with the Scottish
died last week. Why do you keep call- Three Kick Rule."
ing?" The guy replies, "Because I love
hearing it!" The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick
Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you
three times and then you kick me three times, and so
on, back and forth until someone gives up."
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
party. Their conversation was constantly contest and decided that he could easily take the old
interrupted by people describing their codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
ailments and asking the doctor for free
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor
medical advice. After an hour of this, the and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted
exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's
"What do you do to stop people from groin, which dropped him to his knees.
asking you for legal advice when you're His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
out of the office?" The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's
third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up,
but didn't.
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer,
"and then I send them a bill." The doctor The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and
was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old
tosser, now it's my turn."
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty,
the doctor prepared the bills. When he The old farmer smiled and said,
went to place them in his mailbox, he
"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"
found a bill from the lawyer
The HOT SPOT Man “On the Job”
at Frozen Paradise

Instructions by Damon
Laughs Laughs

In this life I'm a woman. An accountant dies and goes to heaven. He


reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a
In my next life, I'd like to come back as happy crowd all waving banners and chanting
his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes
a bear. When you're a bear, you get to running across and says, "I'm sorry I wasn't
hibernate. here to greet you personally. God is looking
You do nothing but sleep for six forward to meeting such a remarkable man as
months. I could deal with that. Before yourself."
you hibernate, you're supposed to eat
yourself stupid. I could deal with that, The accountant is perplexed. "I've tried to lead
too. a good life, but I am overwhelmed by your
welcome," he tells St. Peter. "It's the least we
can do for someone as special as you are.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your Imagine, living to the age of 160 and still
children (who are the size of walnuts) looking so young," says St. Peter. The man
while you're sleeping and wake to par- looks even more dumbfounded and replies,
tially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could "160? I don't know what you mean. I'm only
definitely deal with that. 40."

St. Peter replies, "But that can't be right -


If you're a mama bear, everyone knows we've seen your time sheets!"
you mean business. You swat anyone
who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get
out of line, you swat them too. I could An efficiency expert concluded his lecture
deal with that. with a note of caution. "You don't want to try
these techniques at home." "Why not?"
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS asked somebody from the audience. "I
watched my wife's routine at breakfast for
you to wake up growling. He years," the expert explained. "She made lots
EXPECTS that you will have hairy of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table
legs and excess body fat. and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a
time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you
Yup... gonna be a bear. try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it
save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used
to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast.
Now I do it in seven."
Laughs Laughs
A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD
player that he wants so he takes it. Then he
hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He
looks around with his flashlight wandering
"What The HELL Was That?". He spots some
money on a table and takes it.

Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is


watching you". He hides in a corner trying to
find where the voice came from. He spots a
birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and
asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES".

He then says "What's your name?". It says


"Moses". The burglar says " What kind of
person names his bird Moses??" The parrot
replies "The same person that names his
Rottweiler Jesus.
Metro Chief Michael Berkow Resigns

Savannah Chatham Metropolitan Police Department (SCMPD)


Chief Michael Berkow announced his resignation Tuesday at a
press conference at the Police Barracks at 201 Habersham Street.
Radar Hot Spots
Berkow was joined by Savannah Mayor Otis Johnson, Chatham
County Manager Russ Abolt, City Manager Michael Brown and September 2009
County Chairman Pete Liakakis. School Zones are ZERO TOLERANCE Every Day
Berkow announced his resignation, effective October 10, to Metro
Command Staff and members of the media. Berkow will become
President and Chief Operating Officer, Altegrity Security Weekday Date
Consulting (ASC), a new business unit in Altegrity. ASC will Tuesday 1 Anderson St
provide products, services, and solutions—including training,
information, and consulting—to law enforcement agencies and the Wednesday 2 Abercorn St.
federal government, both in the United States and overseas. Thursday 3 Whitfield Ave.

Berkow said he was not actively seeking a new job opportunity, Friday 4 Islands Expressway
but this offer affords him an opportunity to be closer to his son. Monday 7 Hwy 204 & Veterans
Pkwy.
"Leaving is very difficult. I love this job, I love these people and I Tuesday 8 Henry St
love this community," said Berkow. "However, I have missed three
years of my son' s life. Of his soccer games, basketball games and Wednesday 9 White Bluff Road
his homework. I cannot afford to miss much more. I owe him Thursday 10 Ferguson Ave.
more of me.
Friday 11 Hwy 80 from Thun-
"I was approached about a new career opportunity in April and I derbolt to Tybee
have thought about it...struggled with it... and truly agonized over Monday 14 I-16 & I-516
what to do," he said. "In the end, I decided to accept this very
unique and special position, working on issues that have been a Tuesday 15 Truman Pkwy (north
personal passion of mine for years." of Victory)
Wednesday 16 Montgomery Street
Amongst his accomplishments during his tenure, Berkow changed
the Metro Cop applicant profile and increased psychological testing, Thursday 17 White Bluff (between
raised physical standards, and added a more detailed background Windsor & Mont-
investigation resulting in more qualified candidates. gomery Crossroads)
Friday 18 Truman Pkwy
"Our technology is moving forward: in the past eight month Monday 21 Hwy 17 & Quacco
we have gone from virtually none of our reports being done on Road
computers, to 87% being done directly on laptops in the police car,"
Tuesday 22 Price St
said Berkow. "A result that will save us money and positions.
Wednesday 23 52nd Street
City Officials expressed their joint appreciation for his contribu-
Thursday 24 Middleground Road
tions and cited the numerous improvements during his tenure.
Friday 25 Johnny Mercer Blvd.
"Thanks Chief for the three years, a lot of progress has been
Monday 28 I-95
made," said Johnson. "We all appreciate the sacrifices that you
have made. " Tuesday 29 Whitaker St

Berkow will continue in his position as chief until his effective Wednesday 30 Derenne Avenue
resignation date.
HOT SPOT MAZE

SUDOKU
The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter
digits from 1 to 9 into the
blank spaces. Every row must contain
one of each digit. So must
every column, as must every 3x3
square. Each Sudoku has a
unique solution that can be reached
logically without guessing.
The Solution is at the end of the Book.
No Peeking.
Laughs

A little girl asked her mother for a dol-


lar to give to an old lady in the park.
Her mother was touched by the child's
kindness and gave her the required sum.
"There you are, my dear," said the
mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able
to work any more?"
"Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells
candy."

My wife came home the other night


and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt.

Then she told me not to wear her


clothes anymore.
Laughs

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole


after a hard day's work to relax. He no-
ticed a man next to him order a shot and a
beer. The man drank the shot, chased it
with the beer and then looked into his
shirt pocket. This continued several times
before Joe's curiosity got the best of him.
He leaned over to the guy and said,
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice
your little ritual. Why in the world do you
look into your shirt pocket every time you
drink your shot and beer?"
The man replied, "There's a picture of my
wife in there, and when she starts lookin'
good, I'm headin' home!"

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a


very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve
falls 50 feet to the ground below and he
is killed instantly.

After the coroner leaves with Steve's


Sudoku Solution body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve's
wife of the terrible news. Some two
hours later, Bob returns to the work site
with a six-pack of beer under his arms.
"Say, Bob, where did you get the six-
pack?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me!"


"What! You just told her that Steve died
and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Well, before I broke the news to her, I
asked her if she was Steve's widow. And,
she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a
six-pack she was

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