Absence of Frustration, Part III

Copyright 2001 by Thomas J. Leonard. No duplication. All rights reserved. If you get frustrated ith people! here"s hy.... and hat to do about it.

6. We get frustrated with others because we haven't been communicating fully enough before this current event. I #no that I used to get frustrated ith clients but it as $$% because I hadn"t been fully communicating ith them all along. &ither I as afraid to broach sub'ects or point out important things(problems to them or I set them up so that I could be right. )oth! I"m sure. . We get frustrated with others because we haven't educated them enough on e!actly what"how we want something, or motivated them effectively enough so that they do it by themselves. I"m a great believer in being selfish in that I"ve gotten really! really clear ith people &*ACT+, hat I ant(e-pect(need. )efore e get started. And I don"t 'ust "tal# these at them." I listen to see if they are ith me and care as much as I do about these important things. I also no ma#e it clear ho people can in for themselves by helping me in as ell. I ma#e sure that people around me are self motivated. If they are not! I"ll get frustrated. And so ith they. #. We get frustrated with others because we need a source of conflict"friction in our life and $eo$le are great sources for that. I thin# e do this unconsciously! a lot. .umans need energy to live(feel alive and e"ll get it from 'ust about any source. &ven e-pensive sources li#e setting people up for conflict. %. We get frustrated with others because it's a way to cover u$"avoid where we haven't been res$onsible. /etting frustrated ith others is a pretty clever ay of placing blame for hat e haven"t done properly to set things up to ma#e them in. It"s also a ay to be a fireman and the hero(savior. .o ever! e"re the arsonist too! so hat good is that... &'. We get frustrated with others because they trigger something $sychologically based in us that we have not resolved emotionally. .umans usually have an inventory of repressed feelings! unresolved emotional issues! traumatic life events. 0e 'ust do. As #ids! e don"t have enough freedom! or language! to fully communicate. And the same can be true as adults. As a result! e stuff it. ,et this stuff ants(needs to get out! li#e a volcano! and it doesn"t ta#e a lot to prompt the release! even if in small puffs. I could go on and on ith more e-amples of hy e get frustrated! but let"s 'ust say it"s part of the human condition. And something! in this course! that e are see#ing to absence. Completely. And by being a are of some of the "real reasons" that e get frustrated! e can more easily transcend this reaction. I hope that this as helpful. Thomas