From The Editor

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Contents
I Never Learned Anything From A Match I Won 10
Eighteen Holes of Match or Medal 12
Choosing The Right Golf Club 13
Preventing Sunburn 15
Famous Golf “Isms” 16
Golf Gives You Insight 17
Seniors Golfing Forever 19
I’d Play Everyday If I Could 23
It’s Almost Impossible To Remember How Tragic A Place This World Is... 25
Breaking 80 27
Take 5 Strokes Off Any Golf Game 30
Golf Exercises Have A Direct Impact On Your Swing 32
Golf is a Game Played On A Five Inch Course 33
I’ve Spent Most Of My Life Golfing 35
Proper Putting Fundamentals 37
Teaching Your Kids To Golf 43
They Say Golf Is Like Life 46
Breaking 90 48
Golf Is The Closest Game To The Game We Call Life 51
Time To Refinace Or Buy!? 52
Carolina Girl Gear 53
Is Golf Really Better Than Sex 55
It’s A Funny Thing The More I Practice The Luckier I Get 58

www.Golf.sc Online Magazine | 2009 3

Famous Golf “Isms”
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the
ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers
my prayers everywhere except on the course.- Billy Graham

A hungry dog hunts best.- Lee Trevino
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a
rake. - Henny Youngman
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and
one over a swimming pool. - George Brett
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart
never has to play the bad lie.- Mickey Mantle
I’d like to see Tiger play with my bad swing, my swing
thoughts, and hung over every Sunday.
– Half of American Golfers
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation.
If you work at it, it’s golf.- Bob Hope
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the
wrong golf ball.- Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my
ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their
husbands work.- Lee Trevino
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew
tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.- Lee Trevino

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re
not good at them. - Kevin Costner

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers

for par. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play

on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie
for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a
ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

Swing hard in case you hit it. - Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded

putt. The rest can never be mastered. - Lord Robertson

Sam Snead: Slammin’ Sammy Snead accumulated 81 PGA

Tour victories, the most of any PGA Tour player in history,
and had an enviable swipe at the ball. While he didn’t win a
ton of majors his 81 victories has assured him a place in golf
history.

Snead knew something about fundamentals had enviable

tempo. Writer Bill Fields said that Sammy’s swing “used
to resemble a Faulkner sentence. It was long, laced with
the perfect pause and blessed with a powerful finish.” The
average touring professional has a nice looking swing but
Snead’s was that much smoother. His famous “ism” : If a lot
of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf
club, they’d starve to death.

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they aretwo

different games, one played in the air, and the other on the
ground.- Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of

the time, you’re the best. - Jack Nicklaus
Is Golf Really Better Than Sex ?
Consider the Following Arguments made by Golfers:

You never have to sneak your golf magazines into the

house.

If your equipment gets old and rusty, you simply

replace it.

If you’re really good you can turn pro and do

it full time.

If you are having trouble with your Putter, it is

perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show
you how to improve your techniques.

A below par performance is considered darn good.

Golfers have a scientific way to figure out

their handicap.

Bad golfers do not have to take Viagra.

The Ten Commandments do not say anything about golf.

It’s really hard to gamble on sex.

Your don’t get embarrassed about the size of

your putter.

If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you

golfing, you don’t have to worry about them
showing up on the Internet.

You can make money doing it as a senior.

Your golf partner won’t keep asking questions

about other partners you’ve golfed with.

It’s perfectly respectable to golf with a total

strangers, and even your wife will admit
that in golf twosomes are boring.

When you see a really good golfer, you

don’t have to feel guilty about
imagining the two of you
golfing together.

If your regular golf partner isn’t

available, she won’t object if you
golf with someone else.

Nobody will ever tell you that

you will go blind if you golf
by yourself.
Your partner doesn’t necessarily hire a lawyer if you do it
with someone else.

When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they
are really an undercover cop.

You can stop half way through and have a cheeseburger and
a couple of beers.

You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood

to buy golf stuff.

You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes
and invite co-workers to golf with you without getting sued
for harassment.

Three times a day is possible.

In golf, it is acceptable to watch how the pros do it on TV, just after

completing a round.

There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease.

If you want to watch golf on television, you don’t have to subscribe

to a premium cable channel.

Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the
rest of your life.

Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest

in the game.

You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for

the enjoyment of golf.

Your golf partner will never say, “What? We just golfed last week!
Is that all you ever think about?”