Contents

Dark Trade: Military Footprint the dark side of U.S. “soft power” p. 7
September 3, 2009 VOLUME 5 Issue 1
Editor-In-Chief Todd Morehead
todd@columbiacitypaper.com

ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos

News.Politics.Commentary
jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com

Design
Megan Weeks, Bobby Sutton
Letters to the reader dear Creepy Minds 3 Vocal Booth
regional briefs A boy and his hyena 3 Kingsley Waring
Mr. Meaners Cop sprays himself with pepper spray 4
good fight Fox news lies 4 Publisher
Statehouse report santee cooper, Sanford and Kennedy 6 Paul Blake
ted rall the nazi’s are among us 8 paul@columbiacitypaper.com
feature notes from a demint town hall 9 Pg. 9
Account Executives

Arts.Entertainment.Etc
James Wallace

Contributors
Andy Brack, Graeme Fouste, Harry S. Iarch,
jonesin crosswords 6 Magdalene Kellett, Ismail Lagardien, WR Marshall,
Red Meat 6 Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Fred Richardson,
Bacardi soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock 10 Dan Savage, Mike Serge,
Vocal booth s.c. hip hop review 10 Greg Slattery, Michael Spawn, Kingsley Waring
savage love God hates Dan Savage 14
Rock and Roll crosswords 15
Ask a Mexican One or tw0-liners 15 Columbia City Paper
Sudoku 17 2965 North Main Street
19 Pg. 14 Columbia, SC 29201
arts reefer moon 803.218.9455

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 Letters to the
Reader
Dear female Gamecock fans and the men
who love them,
We’ve noticed a disheartening trend this
summer, a hiccup in your normally ebullient
USC school spirit. Once there was a time, a
magical time, when traffic would back up like
a Yosemite bear jam, as herds of jogging young
fillies bounced across the roadways, their thick
caramelized booties threatening to jiggle out of
threadbare cotton mini shorts, tan lines at mid-
cheek, with the word “Cocks” stretched taut
across the whole glorious vision like a revelation
delivered from the gods. A time when guys had
a reason, a true reason, to go to the gym; R.
Crumb’s vision of heaven finally realized; when
googly-eyed young freshman and lecherous old
professors alike imagined themselves spinning
and leaping in slow motion through a field of
Chi Omegas in Cocks mini shorts doing yoga
stretches in the Horseshoe, buns glistening with
morning dew. It’s enough to bring a tear to the
eye...
And, now we’re lucky to get an ill-fitting pair
of sweatpants!
So, fellas, it’s up to us. It’s time to become
masters of our own destinies and buy Cocks mini
shorts for the ladies in our lives, be they young
or old, scrawny or morbidly obese! But, if you’re
going to buy them, you have to do it right: two
sizes too small at the minimum. They only work
if they’re tight enough to have the “C” on one hip
and the “S” on the other. Together, men, we can
still salvage this summer if we try!
Columbia City Paper
Dear “Creepy Minds” Lady,
How dare you insinuate that perverts run this
publication, madam! And if you plan to take us to
task, at least have the decency to come up with an
interesting argument. We’ve heard it all before.
Your “a child could pick it up and read it” rant
was lukewarm, at best. You didn’t even produce
any spittle!
That said, it’s interesting how the time-
honored “a child could pick it up and read it”
argument continues to come from a region with
one of the lowest literacy rates in the country. I’d
be thrilled if most adults in Columbia could pick
it up and read it.
And, it’s always a kick to imagine a kid at
TALKBACK!
Dear City Paper,
To clarify a point you made in Shady Business
[August 6, 2009, issue 25 vol. 4]:
I am known as a Spiritual Astrologer, not a “for-
tune teller.” I am a reputable Astrologer and pay
my taxes. I studied with two of the greats in NYC
for 26 years and would still be studying, but they
are no longer on the physical plane.
Rhynie Jefferson
Vernon Rockville, CT
one of our distribution points –which would
likely put the child in either a bar or on a city
sidewalk unattended— who toddles over to a City
Paper rack, stands on her little tippy toes to peer
over and is so enthralled by the cover blurb on
foreign policy in Afghanistan that she hungrily
tears open the paper to get at the 3,000 word
feature story within, only to accidentally land
on the Savage Love column. Assuming the child
can read above a third grade level (unlike Mom
and Dad, according to statistics), she must also
be well versed enough in fetish sex and scat porn
to even understand what Dan Savage is writing
about to then be further warped by it.
In short, Lady, if your child is reading a
sex column in an urban alternative weekly, it’s
probably more an issue of poor (or even perverted)
parenting than our admittedly poor standards.
Columbia City Paper
Dear WUSC,
We hold you near and very dear to our hearts,
so take this as constructive criticism and with all
due respect:
You guys really need to lose –or at least
cut down on—the number of in-house public
service announcements that feature white kids
lampooning an African American inflection. Last
Saturday, for example, you could argue parody
for the first two PSAs in a row, but after the fourth
in a row –same break—it started to come off as
white kids unknowingly putting their flip-flops in
their mouths. ...We’re just sayin’.
Columbia City Paper
Dear friend who borrowed my car,
Wow, so that’s what it looks and smells like
when a bum makes a nest in the backseat of a
sedan. I appreciate that you left my windows
down so the car wouldn’t be hot when I got in it.
But leaving it that way in front of your downtown
apartment for three days while you were out of
town might not have been the smartest move,
man. (And why did the bum use a screwdriver
to pry open the door when the windows were
down?) I just wish I’d known before I swung by
to pick it up for a dinner date. Oh, hey, and there
goes my ex in a brand new Z. Life is great!
Columbia City Paper
Compiled by Todd Morehead
BENNETTSVILLE
Robbery suspect found covered in feces,
wandering roadway
A Bennettsville man connected with a
strong-armed robbery did the exact opposite
of “laying low” following his alleged crime;
instead, police picked him up two days later
walking a roadway completely naked and
covered in feces.
Toney Lowe, 21, was subsequently
charged with disorderly conduct and strong-
armed robbery.
Lowe was wanted in connection with a
robbery at the Bennettsville Hotel. According
to reports, two victims were using lap top
computers in a car outside the hotel, when
Lowe accosted them and demanded money
and their computers.
It is still unclear why Lowe was later
found wandering naked near a highway
bypass.
CHARLESTON
Man brandishes laser-sighted handgun in
road rage incident
A Ladson man has been accused of
brandishing a handgun in traffic in North
Charleston.
According to a media report, a man in
an SUV cut in front of a motorist and the
motorist “flipped him off.” The motorist then
noticed that the man in the SUV had trained
the red dot of a laser sighted .40-caliber
pistol on him.
Police later found the driver of the SUV
at a gas station and arrested him. David
Gadsden, 31, was charged with pointing/
presenting a handgun.
MANNING
Couple wakes to drunken naked intruder
in home
A Manning man told police that he and
his wife woke in the middle of the night
to find a 6-foot-5 naked man staggering
down the hallway of their home near Lake
Marion.
John Black, 51, told the Clarendon
County Sheriff’s Office that he had met
the intruder, Chad Michael Glessner, 30,
earlier in the evening at the Lake Vue
Landing marina. Black said that Glessner
had indicated that he was “tore up” at the
marina. Black also said that he and his wife
had gone to bed without locking their doors.
After initially attacking Glessner when
he found him in his home, Black and his
wife later gave Glessner a towel with which
to cover himself and then told him to “get
the hell out” of their house, according to one
media report.
Police found Glessner around 6 a.m. the
next morning, responding to a report of a
drunken man in a bath towel wandering the
parking lot of the Waters Way Market on S.C.
260. Glessner was arrested and charged with
criminal trespass, public drunkenness and
was also charged on an outstanding bench
warrant from a previous open container
violation.
MYRTLE BEACH
Man gives up pet hyena in accordance
with city law
A man cited for keeping a hyena in his
backyard has agreed to find the animal a new
home as part of an agreement that would
drop the charges against him.
Nicolas Petock, 26, says the hyena, named
Bubbles, is now up for sale and has reportedly
placed ads in zoo magazines. Petock was
charged with owning and displaying a wild
or exotic animal after police saw the African
predator in his backyard. The hyena was
reportedly kept in a chain link enclosure with
a doghouse in the center.
ROCK HILL
Carowinds to honor Earnhardt with roller
coaster
Carowinds announced last week that
it plans to unveil “The Intimidator” roller
coaster in honor of late NASCAR driver,
Dale Earnhardt. The ride, expected to be
around 23 stories tall and reach speeds of up
to 80 mph, is slated to debut in 2010.
A park official said the $23 million ride
is the most expensive in Carowinds history.
Earnhardt died in a high-speed crash during
a race in 2001.
Couple renews wedding vows for 720th
time
A Rock Hill couple that has renewed
their wedding vows every month for the past
60 years reached their 720th ceremony last
week.
Rev. Charles and Mary Alice Mitchell
said, “I do” –just like they did last month
and the previous 718 months before—
during a small ceremony attended by family
and friends. According to one report, the
Mitchells have renewed their vows in bed at
night, in the car, at the kitchen table and even
in the hospital.
Rev. Boyce Wilson, who performed the
ceremony, said the Mitchells ran through the
vows with little help from him. “They know
the drill,” he said.
SPARTANBURG
Parents charged for leaving kids in
nightclub parking lot
Spartanburg Sheriff’s deputies have
arrested a Spartanburg couple who allegedly
left their two young children locked in a
truck while they were in a night club.
Luis Raul Mahones Andino and Rosa
Lopez were arrested and charged with
child neglect. A spokesman for the sheriff’s
department said they received a call shortly
before 2 a.m. about two children who were
reportedly crying from inside a locked truck.
The children, ages 5 and 3, have been placed
in protective custody.
September 3, 2009 3

Santee Cooper Rate increase,
Sanford and Kennedy
By Andy Brack
News this week that Santee Cooper was
suspending efforts to build a 600-megawatt
coal-fired power plant in the Pee Dee found
conservationists and environmentalists giving a
lot of high fives to each other.
As the utility spent hundreds of thousands
of dollars beating the drum about the need for
the new plant, grassroots and greenie organizers
mobilized support against the facility. While
their efforts were helpful, shelving the plant
basically was the result of one of the utility’s
biggest customers, Central Electric Power
Cooperative, deciding to buy 1,000 megawatts
less power production in future years.
Voila – the need for the extra power plant
here vanished because Central Electric plans to
get electricity from Duke Power plants in North
Carolina.
What wasn’t picked up by most of the
media this week was the doubletalk by Santee
Cooper about power and money. On one hand,
the company said it ended the plant for three
reasons: reduced demand for electricity due to
the recession, proposed federal regulations that
would boost the cost of the plant and Central
Electric’s reduced needs.
An Aug. 24 news release noted, “[Chairman
O.L.] Thompson added that Santee Cooper
customers could benefit from the decision,
because they may not need to bear the capital
costs of constructing the proposed Pee Dee
facility.” It later noted that the utility’s “sales” • Health care. If you are one of 300,000
were down 5 percent.
In a completely separate news release
delivered in the same e-mail as the one above,
Santee Cooper announced “an overall 3.4
percent base rate increase beginning Nov. 1,
2009 to offset rising costs of operating and
maintaining the utility’s generation, transmission
and distribution facilities.”
So on one hand, customers will save money
(over the long term), but they’ll really face
immediate increases to level out the company’s
revenue. Truth certainly is stranger than fiction.
Thanks, Santee Cooper.
So Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, said by some to be have to do is ask any one of several Republican
facing a lot of negative perceptions by voters, senators in Washington who enjoyed working
now wants Gov. Mark Sanford to resign over the with him.
whole mess over his love affair and plane trips.
4 September 3, 2009
Bonus: If done in the next month, Bauer will not
run for governor. Translation to voters: Bauer
is pandering.
As some outlets have suggested, Bauer has
reinjected politics into the Sanford scandal just
as it was kind of simmering down. Yes, the press
continues to scrutinize flights, but they’re finally
reporting that other governors upgraded seats
when flying on state dime.
We like most what U.S. Rep. Gresham
Barrett, a Republican gubernatorial candidate,
observed – that all of the continuing focus on
Sanford’s peccadilloes with talk of impeachment,
resignation and whatnot – is allowing state
lawmakers to keep their eyes off the real ball.
The state has horrible unemployment and our
leaders need to be focused on getting a lot of
people jobs, not fiddling with the one job of a
washed-up politician.
While we’ve never been a Sanford fan,
he should stick to his guns now and not be
“railroaded” out of office by political stunts.
Lawmakers should focus on jobs, not a leader
they haven’t really enjoyed working with
anyway.
The passing of U.S. Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-
Mass., has played a lot in the news, but little has
been said of the liberal senator’s lasting impact
here in South Carolina. Due to his hard work, he
changed lives of regular people in major ways.
Here are just three:
South Carolinians who gets health care through
one of the 22 federally-funded community health
centers, you can thank Teddy Kennedy and
former U.S. Sen. Fritz Hollings.
• Minimum wage. If you make a
$7.25 minimum wage today, you can thank
Ted Kennedy, a tireless advocate for raising
the minimum wage. Without his efforts, you’d
probably still be making $5.15.
• Disabilities. Kennedy is largely
responsible for legislation that makes it easier for
the disabled to participate in our communities.
If you wonder whether Teddy Kennedy’s
impact will be missed in Washington, all you
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
Mr. Meaner’s
CRIME WATCH
Subjects are innocent until proven guilty, this is not a court of law
Compiled by Michael Stafford
29201
If you’re going to sleep with married men
at least drive a cheaper car. A woman called to
report her Jaguar had been keyed. Her husband
later received a phone call saying it was in
retribution for the woman having an affair with
her husband.
29205
Complainant reported finding a mysterious
Compaq keyboard and PC power cord at
her home and a neighbor reported hearing a
disturbance on the back porch. Hopefully by
the time this electronics Robin Hood makes it
to my house, he’ll have upgraded to laptops and
flat screens.
29203
Firefighters responding to a fire in the
woods near an apartment complex noticed
damage to one of the apartments. There was a
broken window in the door and small stack of
burnt papers on the floor. Papers were not on fire
when they arrived. Next time, mystery arsonist,
consider investing in a paper shredder.
29204
A man emerged from a club on Two Notch
road and discovered his car was missing. No
broken glass was on the ground and he said he
had the only set of keys to the car. Who has only
one set of keys to their car? Next time, drink less
and remember where you parked.
29203
Complainant performing security rounds
at a church noticed the doors to the church bus
had been “preyed” open, and the door to a CD
compartment had been torn off. At least the
doors weren’t “prayed open.” ...That would be
creepy.
29210
Complainant notified police about a kid
who’d recently been released from DJJ and was
staying with him. He went to wake up subject
but instead discovered rolled up blankets and
pillows under the covers to make it seem like he
was in bed. Subject allegedly told complainant he
knows and frequents prostitutes at nearby hotels.
But let’s be serious – wouldn’t you rather be with
a prostitute than an unrelated man performing
“bed checks” in the middle of the night?
29206
You can’t make this stuff up: A cop pulled
over a car for having only one headlight, and
noticed an empty longneck in floorboard. The
suspect assured the cop that there was no
harm since the bottle was empty. When the
cop attempted to explain that it actually wasn’t
okay (since, you know, open containers are
illegal in S.C. and the suspect was only 19), the
suspect became belligerent and was arrested. A
subsequent search turned up an ID for someone
over 21, but the suspect said he looks nothing
like the person in the picture, so he couldn’t use
it effectively as a fake ID anyway. The cop then
found a “leafy green substance” and two digital
scales. Suspect said he doesn’t sell marijuana; he
only gives it out as favors to friends. I generally
don’t befriend idiots but this time I’ll make an
exception.
29212
Someone called the police to report someone
was stealing a temporary license plate while
another person acted as lookout. Some people
steal cars, some people steal temporary tags that
expire in a week. Tomato, tomatoh.
29204
Something fishy: Suspect slipped a bag of
shrimp into his pants and attempted to leave
the scene, but was detained and the shrimp was
“recovered from the suspect’s pants.” Shrimp
was “valued at $10.09 and couldn’t be resold.”
29204
Police responded to complaints about a
suspicious vehicle with possibly armed
occupants. When ordered out of the car, the
driver fled on foot. Officer attempted to subdue
suspect with pepper spray, and managed to spray
himself instead. Suspect was later apprehended,
and EMS treated the officer on the scene. I
can’t wait till officers get those new tasers!
JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS Living With the Lies
Fox News pollutes our democracy with them
“You Sound Like L”--and so do these entries. “I wouldn’t call it fascism have capped medial malpractice
by Matt Jones 53 Eagle’s nest 28 Green fruit exactly, but a political system payouts, healthcare costs have
55 Scaring yet again? 29 ___ instant nominally controlled by an continued to rise. DeMint knows
Across 59 Squealer 30 Neutral shade irresponsible, dumbed down this. Millions of people know it. But
1 It starts by “springing forward”: 61 Allergy spray brand 32 Clear the screen electorate who are manipulated by I’m sure the senator looked out over
abbr. 62 Message that never goes to the 33 “Ha!,” in chat dishonest, cynical, controlled mass this agglomeration of grits eaters and
4 New Year’s Eve mo. victor 34 Where newspaper may be laid
7 Member of the fam
media that dispense the propaganda said to himself, “These goobers will
63 Circle section: abbr. down
10 Half-___ (latte order) 64 Greek letter Ns 35 Shrek, e.g. of a corrupt political establishment believe anything.” And so they did.
13 “Yo te ___” 65 Braille bit 36 Conservative opener can hardly be described as Today the Republican Party
14 Largest school in the Granite St. 66 House member, for short 39 TV bounty hunter democracy either.” has been taken over by “birthers” and
15 Sea ___, animal that contracts 67 Gold, in them there cerros 40 Alternative to Reuters -- Columnist Edward Zehr teabaggers and a host of other angst-
when touched 68 College-level high school tests: 41 Lose an opportunity ridden, mostly older white people
17 Triscuit maker abbr. 42 Rock sci. Whatever else we have learned By Will Moredock (old yellers, they’ve been called for
19 Time that athletes prepare for 43 “In Utero” band
20 Hip to sounds from Rice Krisp- Down 44 Withers from the national healthcare their boorish behavior) who appear
ies? 1 Dinner follower, on some dates 45 She can see the future debate, it is resoundingly clear that willfully ignorant and willfully
22 Like some trigger fingers 2 More likely to join Mensa 50 Reason for a medal America’s education system is at least as bad as eager to believe anything that certain sources tell
23 Affirmative votes 3 Put that in your pipe and smoke it 51 Come up its healthcare. them. The leading source of misinformation about
24 They’re checked at the door 4 Like the sky just after sunset 52 Costly By one recent poll, nearly 70 percent of white healthcare today is Fox News.
27 IBM competitor 5 Env. attachment 53 Whisky ___ (L.A. rock club) southerners do not believe that Barack Obama was An NBC/Wall Street Journal poll,
28 Blood relatives 6 “Top Chef Masters” host Kelly 54 Reeeeeeally long time
30 “Dukes of Hazzard” deputy 7 Like bodies, after gravity takes 56 “My mama done ___ me...” born in the United States. In another poll of North released last week, identified four frequently told
sheriff over 57 “Provided that...” Carolina voters, only 54 percent said that Obama lies about healthcare reform:
31 Getting the right pitch and 8 With jaw to floor 58 Card or Cub, for short was native born. Among Republicans, 47 percent 1- It will give coverage to illegal
volume, for a lion? 9 Some tournament rounds 59 Pink Floyd member Barrett said he was born in the America; 29 percent were immigrants.
37 Dubuque’s state 10 Substance in some cough syrups 60 Overly not sure. (In the same poll, respondents were 2- It will lead to a government takeover of
38 Teen follower 11 Top-ranked tennis player asked if they “consider Hawaii to be part of the American healthcare.
39 Leftovers from sticking doughy Ivanovic ©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (edi-
lumps in a coffee percolator? 12 “SNL” alum Tina tor@jonesincrosswords.com) United States.” Among Republicans, 88 percent 3- It will pay for abortions.
46 Mayberry kid 16 My, to Mitterrand For answers to this puzzle, call: 1- said yes, seven percent said no and four percent 4- It will create “death panels” and allow
47 “I’m so excited!” squeal 18 I as in Innsbruck? 900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. were unsure. Numbers were only slightly better the elderly to die.
48 Indignation 21 Da ___ (Vietnamese port city) Must be 18+. Or to bill to among the general public.) According to the poll, Fox News viewers were
49 USO entertainees 25 Palme ___ (Cannes film award) your credit card, call: 1-800-655- Such a proliferation of ignorance and overwhelmingly more likely to believe these lies
50 Prefix for “dilation” 26 1040 digits: abbr. 6548. Reference puzzle #0430. misinformation is a veritable Eden of mischief for than viewers of MSNBC of CNN. (See the report
politicians and Sen. Jim DeMint was in full frolic at www.newscorpse.com/ncWP/?p=1370.)
when he spoke to more than 300 white people at As it happened last week, I went to my doctor
the Daniel Island Club last week. The white folks for my regular checkup. I like my doctor very
were gracious and mannerly. They laughed at all much. He is caring and supportive. After the
the Obama jokes. They applauded DeMint’s jabs prescriptions were written and the meeting was
at Democrats and federal bureaucrats. There was almost over, he mentioned that the pharmaceutical
no one packing heat here. No swastika signs. industry would be devastated by healthcare
Nobody standing up to scream, “You will stand reform, because government programs would
before god to answer for this some day.” No, these allow only the cheapest, generic drugs. It would
white people were a model of decorum. And why be the end of innovation in pharmaceuticals, he
not? They were hearing exactly what they wanted warned direly. And look at the Canadians coming
from their hero. down here to get healthcare. Why would we want
Unfortunately, DeMint did not return the to adopt a system like theirs?
favor. In fact, he was downright contemptuous Then I remembered that the television in his
of his audience’s intelligence, telling them that waiting room is permanently tuned to Fox News.
he favored controlling healthcare costs through Anywhere you sit you must listen to it. In many of
tort reform and and more competition among the seats you must watch it or hold a magazine in
insurance companies. Of course, anybody who was front of your face. My doctor is a good physician
familiar with the healthcare debate would know and probably a good man in his personal life. But
that DeMint was lying through his teeth. First, he has clearly made some errors of judgment. I
DeMint and the Republicans are doing everything hope they were not failings of character. He had
humanly possible to kill the public option plank drunk the Fox News Kool Ade and now he was
of the Democratic reform plan, which would offering it to me. It was definitely time to leave.
be the most effective competition for insurance Democracy is a messy business under the best
companies. The last thing Republicans want is of circumstances. In the atmosphere of malice and
honest competition in the insurance industry. misinformation that Fox News and its allies have
As for tort reform, less than one percent of created, it may be impossible.
the cost of American healthcare is the result of
litigation. In California and Texas, two states that talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

September 3, 2009 5
 In August last year, the senior officer
aboard USS Kearsarge, a U.S. Navy ship
deployed to Latin America, issued an unusual
order. Capt. Frank Ponds ordered the hundreds
of sailors, Marines, soldiers and airmen under
his command to avoid using the term “troops”
when describing themselves to Latin American
reporters.
At the time of Ponds’ order, Kearsarge
was just days into a six-month mission
delivering medical and engineering assistance
to impoverished communities in six countries,
including Nicaragua and Colombia. In her
staterooms, the 850-foot Kearsarge carried
hundreds of doctors, nurses and engineers.
In her holds were tons of medicine and
construction equipment. On the face of it,
Kearsarge’s deployment was a mission of
charity that would benefit tens of thousands
of needy people. The military had hopes of
“influencing generations to come” through
good deeds, Ponds said.
But there was perhaps a sinister intention
underlying the charity -- one that Ponds was
possibly trying to mask with semantics. If the
people under his command simply described
themselves as “humanitarians,” they might
downplay the imperial implications of the
word “troops.” For across Latin America, in
some of the same countries where Kearsarge
would be rendering assistance, some people
viewed the ship as the vanguard of renewed
North American dominion over the poorer
south.
Ponds denied it. And he might have
been totally sincere. But elsewhere in the
Pentagon’s labyrinthine command structure,
others were looking at ways of harnessing the
military’s humanitarian work for more cynical
purposes. To at least one general, aid work
like Kearsarge’s is a way of pressuring poor
nations into granting U.S. troops access to new
bases during wartime. This is the dark side of
the Pentagon’s good deeds.
There’s another. Even those aid missions
6 September 3, 2009
that truly represent the best of American
intentions, run the risk of undermining the
natural, sustainable development of poor
nations. Military humanitarians assistance to
Gabon, in particular, highlights this danger.
The bottom line is that we should be wary,
as the Pentagon gets more and more involved
in activities that are not traditionally military
in nature. Our armed forces are very good
at inflicting violence on our enemies. But
when they get involved in other, more subtle
expressions of national power, the results can
be quite sinister.
Soft power
Pentagon brass have a name for military
aid work. They call it “soft power.” Mix in a
little firepower, a.k.a. “hard power,” and it’s
called “smart power.” The latter is defined
as the ability to rapidly “dial” between aid
work and combat, according to Adm. James
Stavridis, the U.S. Navy officer who currently
heads NATO’s European land command.
Call it what you will, military forces doing
less-than-military things is all the rage these
days, even in active war zones like Iraq and
Afghanistan. Kearsarge’s cruise represented
one of the biggest recent soft-power missions,
but there have been many others. The Navy
regularly sends to poor nations ships laden
with doctors and engineers. The Air Force
lands cargo planes at remote airstrips to hand
out medicine. The Army rebuilds schools,
roads and bridges in Iraq, Afghanistan and
East Africa.
Such missions will only become more
common. “I am here to make the case for
strengthening our capacity to use ‘soft’ power
and for better integrating it with ‘hard’ power,”
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said in a
November 2007 speech.
Harvard professor Joseph Nye was the first
to propose soft power, back in the 1980s. “Soft
power is the ability to attract people to our side
without coercion,” wrote Nye, who served as
an assistant secretary of defense under Pres.
Bill Clinton. “Legitimacy is central to soft
power. If a people or nation believes American
objectives to be legitimate, we are more likely
to persuade them to follow our lead without
using threats and bribes.”
But in the two decades since Nye defined
the term, soft power has apparently become
the very thing that he had hoped to avoid: a
way for the Pentagon to coerce other nations
into supporting U.S. interests.
While many in the Pentagon characterizes
military aid efforts as being strictly benign,
there’s reason to worry. In July, Lt. Gen. Chip
Utterback told a reporter that his command,
the 13th Air Force based in Hawaii, uses soft-
power missions to ensure that the military
has access to back-up bases, in the event that
a unit’s primary facilities are destroyed in a
Chinese missile attack, during some projected
shooting war. “One of the reasons we’re out
there building partnerships throughout the
region, in addition to good will, is access,”
Utterback said. “If you want to land on their
airfields [during a future war], you have to
engage them now, not when the bullets are
flying.”
Aid for bases
Utterback’s comment was the first time
a senior U.S. officer had drawn a clear
connection between soft power and potential
wartime alliances. Previously, commanders
had depicted good-will missions as part of
a broad strategy for the early resolution of
potential conflict -- a so-called “phase-zero”
approach, to use one popular Pentagon term.
Ponds certainly referred to Kearsarge’s
mission that way.
But more than one Latin American leader
rejected Ponds’ characterization. Even though
his government had approved Kearsarge’s
visit, Nicaraguan president Daniel Ortega told
reporters he suspected the vessel of harboring
spies. “We welcome the humanitarian work, but
of course we cannot welcome the intelligence
work,” he said. Earlier, Venezuelan president
Hugo Chavez had accused the U.S. of
“want[ing] to relive the Cold War” -- a time
when the U.S. and Russia had both used Latin
American governments and rebel groups as
proxies in the broader East-West conflict.
It was Ortega’s comment about Kearsarge
hosting spies that had apparently inspired Ponds’
unusual order regarding the term “troops.” The
Navy’s careful image management extended
to similar missions across the globe. In the
spring of this year, another Navy ship, the USS
Nashville, visited West Africa on a similar
hearts-and-minds mission. Just weeks later,
the hospital ship Comfort retraced Kearsarge’s
2008 route, while carrying an even larger
medical and aid staff. As Comfort wound
up her deployment, the Navy converted the
cargo ship Richard E. Byrd into a makeshift
humanitarian vessel, for a soft-power cruise on
the Pacific, visiting five countries.
The Pentagon treaded particularly lightly
in Latin America. Capt. Bob Lineberry, senior
officer aboard Comfort, said his mission
was “enhancing security and stability, as a
continuing mission, primarily through medical
and engineering assistance -- also doing
education and community relations projects.”
But whether purposefully or not -- and
whether or not Lineberry was aware of it --
Comfort’s good-will efforts might have been
a factor in a controversial basing agreement
between the U.S. and Colombia. In June, a 10-
year-old treaty granting the Pentagon access to
Ecuador’s Manta air base expired. To replace
Manta, Washington is hammering out a deal
with Colombia that would allow the U.S. to
use up to five Colombian bases. The heads
of neighboring states said they only learned
about the deal after details were leaked to the
Colombian media in July. South American
leaders met last week in Bariloche, Argentina
to discuss growing concerns over the ramped
up American military presence in the region
–and the apparent secrecy in which the U.S.
- Colombia meetings were held.
While a formal contract has not yet been
signed, the Pentagon has already committed
$46 million to upgrade the base at Palanquero,
next year.
Venezuelan president Chavez said he was
worried about the motivation behind the base
deal. Colombia president Alvaro Uribe “should
show up, come and face the music and let’s sit
down and talk,” Chavez told a Colombian TV
station.
To be sure, most U.S. military activities
in Colombia will focus on interdicting drug
traffickers -- most, but not all. In March,
the Air Force’s Air Mobility Command
published a white paper analyzing potential
routes for U.S. military aircraft supporting
overseas combat operations. The “Global En
Route Strategy” identifies Latin America --
specifically, Palanquero -- as the best launching
pad for airlift into Africa, where the Pentagon
has a new regional command and is waging
campaigns targeting extremists and pirates in
Somalia.
Not coincidentally, Colombia is one of the
biggest recipients of U.S. aid, with military,
economics and humanitarian assistance totaling
some $6 billion since 2000. Ships such as
Kearsarge and Comfort are among the most
visible vehicles for this aid.
The danger, in Latin America, the Pacific
and elsewhere, is that the U.S. military’s
apparent generosity might have the effect
of influencing foreign governments’ basing
decisions, thus potentially involving them in
future wars. That’s not to say the Pentagon
shouldn’t have overseas facilities. But certainly,
Washington shouldn’t use humanitarian aid as
persuasion in basing discussions. That reduces
humanitarian aid to the very bribery that Nye
feared.
Bizarrely, some elements inside the
Pentagon itself have raised concerns over this
military “invasion” of humanitarian work.
“The United States military has become more
involved in a range of activities that in the past
were perceived to be the exclusive province
of civilian agencies and organizations,” Gates
noted in a speech in July last year. “This has led
to concern among many organizations … about
what’s seen as a creeping ‘militarization’ of
some aspects of America’s foreign policy. This
is not an entirely unreasonable sentiment.”
By contrast, two State Department officials
assigned to Nashville, in West Africa, said they
were aware of the militarization issue, but that
they weren’t worried. After Utterback’s recent
admission, and the possible “base bribing” in
Colombia, perhaps they should be.
Hand up, or hand-out?
Leaving aside the darker intentions perhaps
underlying U.S. military soft-power, there are
good reasons to doubt that even the most
honorable military-humanitarian aid programs
actually work. They might even hold back the
very nations they’re ostensibly meant to help.
Omar Bongo, the 73-year-old president
of Gabon, in West Africa, died of natural
causes on June 8, after 42 years in office.
He was the world’s longest-serving, elected
head of state, as well as one of its wealthiest
-- having carefully tailored the nation’s laws
to both keep himself in office and fatten his
many foreign bank accounts. Bongo treated the
country’s undiversified oil economy as his own,
reportedly skimming 8 percent of Gabon’s $20
billion annual, federal budget, and spending
much of it abroad on luxury goods. In recent
years, France and the U.S. have launched
investigations of Bongo’s finances.
Bongo left behind a country so accustomed
to his rule that his death sparked a nation-wide
security clamp-down, as well as a furious
scramble, by his scores of close relatives, to
pilfer Bongo’s stashes of cash and to position
themselves as potential successors. At press
time, Gabonese election officials are tallying
the results of the Aug. 30 election. Opposition
leaders have charged ruling party candidate,
Ali Bongo (the late Omar Bongo’s son), with
attempting to rig the election. One candidate
withdrew from the race, saying that he feared
post-election violence.
The president’s death came just two
months after Nashville -- and her 500 sailors,
doctors, diplomats and scientists -- visited two
Gabonese cities in one of the biggest soft-power
deployments of 2009. During her five-month
cruise down the West African coast, Nashville
delivered millions of dollars worth of medical,
scientific, economic and training assistance.
According to the Pentagon, Nashville’s
visits were aimed integrating Gabon, and its
neighbors, into the global economy.
But such missions ironically risk
encouraging countries’ isolation -- a dilemma
underscored by Bongo’s death. Pentagon soft
power, with its rich gifts of aid, is meant
to give developing countries a sustainable
“hand up.” But corrupt regimes often see that
assistance as a handout. After Nashville’s visit,
Bongo’s Gabon remained as deeply corrupt,
frighteningly inefficient and impoverished, as
before. The uncertainty gripping the country in
the wake of Bongo’s passing, highlights how
little progress it has made, despite decades of
sustained, foreign aid.
Bongo’s corruption impeded Gabon’s
development, according to the Paris-based
Organization for Economic Co-operation
and Development. Gabon’s per-capita
Gross Domestic Product hovers around
$5,000, compared to around $750 for all
of Africa, OECD figures show. But this
apparent wealth masks vast income inequality
and high unemployment in an economy
dominated by the inefficient, state-owned oil
industry. “Efforts must be continued in the
fight against corruption and in strengthening
the legal and judiciary system in order to
create an environment favorable towards the
development of the private sector,” OECD
stressed in its 2007 report on Gabon.
“Institutional weakness and skills shortages
are jeopardizing long-term development,” the
report continued. For example, the Gabonese
government has been slow to adopt the
international standards necessary to export fish
to major, Western markets. A fisheries expert
traveling with Nashville, who asked to remain
anonymous, blamed the delays on Gabon’s
strictly hierarchical bureaucracy, which ranks
among West Africa’s most Byzantine -- and is
the fruit of Bongo’s strict rule.
It’s unclear to what extent -- if at all -- aid
can help boost such rigid, fragile countries.
“Despite its noble intent, aid has not rescued
Sub-Saharan Africa from poverty,” the non-
profit National Center for Policy Analysis
contended in a 2007 report, noting $450 billion
in Western aid for Africa, between 1980 and
2003. “In many cases, it has undermined
development, propped up dictators and fueled
corruption,” the Dallas-based NCPA added.
International trade, not aid, is the only way
to spur growth in Africa, the NCPA’s report
claimed.
Inasmuch as smart-power missions, such
as Nashville’s, represent aid, they are perhaps
doomed to fail. Military officials are aware of
the risks. “We’re not wasting time with quick
and easy benefits,” the military fisheries expert
said of his plans for Gabon. He said he was
working hard to find long-term partners, inside
the Gabonese maritime bureaucracy, who
might benefit from Western advice and targeted
assistance. The idea is that these bureaucrats
would establish permanent programs that are
fully supported by the Gabonese government,
and don’t require foreign donations to keep
them running.
Steady demand
It’s too soon to say whether Nashville’s poor
results in Gabon are indicative of soft-power’s
viability, elsewhere. Soft power is still a new
concept, and its chief proponents are only now
figuring out how to measure the results. “The
indicators will be long-term, not near-term,”
said Thebaud, the top officer on Nashville.
But there are hints that can reveal whether
soft power is working, she added. “Part of is
receptivity of partner nations’ involvement in
a program like this. If people say, ‘Thanks, not
interested. Thanks for stopping by. Appreciate
your interest, but we don’t want to see you
again,’ clearly, we’re not succeeding.”
By that metrics, the military’s smart-power
missions are a smashing success. Demand
for ship visits, such as Nashville’s in Gabon,
has steadily grown, since the Navy’s first
soft-power cruise in 2005. But Thebaud is
discounting the possibility that African
governments are eager to accept handouts,
without embracing the institutional change that
the Navy wants. Bongo’s Gabon was certainly
guilty of that. \
Now, with Bongo dead, Gabon has a
chance for reform. The country must break
its rigid structures, clean up corruption and
diversify its economy, all in an effort to spread
its wealth across a greater proportion of the
population -- and better integrate into the
global economy. U.S. military missions might
play a role in guiding that change, or they
might continue feeding Gabon’s existing, bad
institutions.
It’s up to the Gabonese to decide how
their country will evolve. But it’s up to the
American people to decide what role their
military should play in trying to effect change
in other nations. At its worst, military soft
power might have the effect of coercing poor
nations into surrendering a measure of their
sovereignty, by granting the Pentagon access to
their bases. Even where military humanitarians
are not supporting some cynical land-grab,
the sincerest expressions of soft power might
simply be ineffective in encouraging any
lasting reform.
It’s naïve to expect the military to return
to a strictly traditional war-waging role, when
there are no longer any traditional wars to
fight. Soft power is surely here to stay. But that
doesn’t mean we should ignore its risks.
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
September 3, 2009 7
 Ted Rall
WE HAVE MET THE NAZIS,
AND THEY ARE US.
CIA Atrocities Revealed 1549 crashed into it earlier this year.
to a National Shrug (Remember the ice floes?) “Generally, a
person can survive in 41-degree water for
Nazis. Americans are Nazis. We
10, 15 or 20 minutes,” Dr. Christopher
are Nazis.
McStay, an emergency room physician at
Godwin’s Law be damned--it’s
New York City’s Bellevue Hospital told
impossible to read the newly-released
Scientific American magazine.
CIA report on the torture of Muslim
Like its Gestapo and SS
prisoners without thinking of the Third
antecedents, the CIA is highly bureaucratic.
Reich.
CIA employees were informed that
Sadism exists in every culture.
“Advance Headquarters approval is
A century ago, for example, Western
required to use any physical pressures
adventurers who visited Tibet reported
[against prisoners].” And those permissions came
that the authorities in Lhasa, that supposed capital
from the very top of the chain of command: the White
of pacifism, publicly gouged out criminals’ eyes and
House, which ordered the Office of Legal Counsel
yanked out their tongues. But Nazi atrocities were
and other legal branches of the federal government to
stylistically distinct from, say, the Turkish genocide
draft “CYA” memoranda. The memos, wrote Joshua
of the Armenians or the Rwandan massacres of the
L. Dratel in his introduction to “The Torture Papers:
early 1990s. German war crimes were characterized
The Road to Abu Ghraib,” a compilation of memos
by methodical precision, the application of “rational”
authorizing torture of Muslim detainees reflect “a
technology to increase efficiency, the veneer of
wholly result-oriented system in which policy makers
legality and the perversion of medical science.
start with an objective and work backward.”
Nazi crimes were also marked by public
Also reminiscent of Nazism is the utter absence
indifference, which amounted to tacit support. Here
of firewalls that has come to characterize the behavior
and now, only 25 percent of Americans told the latest
of top government officials. Totalitarian regimes like
Pew Research poll that they believe torture is always
Nazi Germany corrupt the judiciary by using the
wrong.
courts to carry out political policy. Beginning under
“The CIA’s secret interrogation program
Bush and now under Obama, judicial independence
operated under strict rules, and the rules were dictated
has been eradicated.
from Washington with the painstaking, eye-glazing
On August 28th The New York Times reported:
detail beloved by any bureaucracy,” observed The
“In July, Leon E. Panetta, the CIA director, tried
New York Times. We have much in common with the
to head off the investigation [of the CIA’s torture
Germans.
program], administration officials said. He sent
“In July 2002,” the declassified report reveals,
the CIA’s top lawyer, Stephen W. Preston, to [the
a CIA officer “reportedly used a ‘pressure point’
Department of] Justice to persuade aides to Attorney
technique: with both of his hands on the detainee’s
General Eric H. Holder Jr. to abandon any plans for
neck, [he] manipulated his fingers to restrict the
an inquiry.” There’s a term for this: Obstruction of
detainee’s carotid artery.” Another agent “watched
Justice. You’re not supposed to try to influence the
his eyes to the point that the detainee would nod and
outcome of an investigation. It was count six of the
start to pass out; then…shook the detainee to wake
impeachment proceedings against President Nixon.
him. This process was repeated for a total of three
To Holder’s credit, he has appointed a special
applications on the detainee.”
prosecutor. To his discredit, the focus of the
The CIA’s rinse-lather-repeat approach to torture
investigation is narrow: he will only go after officials
is reminiscent of Dr. Sigmund Rascher’s experiments
who went beyond the Bush Administration’s over-
at Dachau and a parallel project conducted by the
the-top torture directives (which allow, as seen above,
Japanese Imperial Army’s infamous Unit 731 in
freezing people to death). He does not plan to go after
occupied Manchuria in 1942-43. Rascher, who was
the worst criminals, who are the Bush Administration
tried for war crimes after World War II, froze
lawyers and officials, including Bush and Cheney
or lashed detainees nearly to death, then revived
themselves, who ordered the war crimes--much less
them over and over. German and Japanese doctors
those like Obama who are currently covering them
developed detailed protocols governing the severity
up.
of exposure to which inmates could be subjected--
He should change his mind. While he’s at it, he
protocols seized by U.S. occupation forces and turned
should throw Leon Panetta in jail.
over to the OSS, predecessor of the CIA.
Holder’s brief currently involves just 20 cases,
So it was in the CIA’s prisons at Guantánamo,
which include detainees who were murdered by the
Bagram, Diego Garcia, eastern Europe, Thailand and
CIA. But even those will be tough to prosecute,
elsewhere.
reports The New York Times: “Evidence, witnesses
(Or, to be more accurate, so it is. Bush publicly
and even the bodies of the victims of alleged abuses
banned torture in 2006, but we know it was still
have not been found in all cases.”
going on as of 2007. Obama supposedly banned
Because, you see, the bodies were burned and
it again earlier this year, but then his CIA director
dumped.
Leon Panetta told Congress the agency reserves the
They--the CIA--are Nazis for committing the
right to keep doing it. Until the entire secret prison
crimes.
network is dismantled and every single prisoner
And we are Nazis for not giving a damn.
released, it would be absurd to assume that torture is
Only a third of Americans told the April 27th CBS
not continuing.)
News/New York Times poll that there ought to be an
Among the verbal treasures in the CIA papers
investigation of Bush-era war crimes--and they don’t
is the “Water Dousing” section of the “Guidelines
care enough to march in the streets, much less break a
on Medical and Psychological Support to Detainee
few windows. So few of my columns on torture have
Rendition, Interrogation and Detention,” which
been reprinted by American newspapers or websites
“allow for water to be applied using either a hose
that I seriously contemplated not bothering to write
connected to tap water, or a bottle or similar container
this one.
as the water source.” Ah, the glorious war on terror.
We have met the Nazis, and they are us.
Detainees may be soaked in water as cold as 41
degrees Fahrenheit for as long as 20 minutes--no
(Ted Rall, President of the Association of
longer, no colder.
American Editorial Cartoonists, is author of the
For the record, the CIA’s medical expertise is
books “To Afghanistan and Back” and “Silk Road
about as reliable as its legal and moral sense. Forty-
to Ruin.”)
one degrees is bracingly cold; 41 was the temperature
8 September 3, 2009 of the Hudson River was when US Airways Flight
DeMint’s plan for health care:
More insurance companies
By Judit Trunkos
Jim DeMint shared his thoughts on health
care reform with a packed house in West
Columbia recently. And, as has been the case
with recent town hall meetings across the
country, many folks left with more questions
than answers.
As the senator began to talk, most people
seemed to be supportive of his statements, even
when he claimed that American health care
was the best in the world. DeMint also claimed
that the Obama Administration believes that
doctors use the current health care system to
their benefit and often suggest unnecessary
operations and procedures for monetary gain.
“I heard the president say that doctors
would take out a child’s tonsils for profit,”
DeMint said. “I have been working with
hospitals and doctors for the past 15 years and
I have not seen any doctor that would take
children’s tonsils out for profit. I have seen
politicians say that we cannot afford to take
the tonsils out, so we need to get the money
from somewhere else.”
The senator said he thinks that health care
is often the most private and complicated
aspect of a person’s life. And though, he said,
he wasn’t an expert in the medical field, he said
he did feel that he knew more about the subject
of health care policy than President Obama.
DeMint’s take: we need more competition
between insurance companies –and thus,
presumably more insurance companies to spur
that competition.
“Why don’t we just open up health care
for competition, not only within the state but
nationwide?” the senator suggested. “You will
see the price go down.”
Just as DeMint’s rhetoric began to spin
off it’s axis—“I introduced a bill in the House
and everyone voted on it, including President
Obama. He voted against it. Does he want to
make it affordable and available? I do not think
so...” –the floor opened up for questions.
The senator faced the usual questions
about preexisting conditions and high cost.
When it was all over, City Paper asked a few
participants what they thought of the meeting.
“I was very impressed with the idea
of opening up competition instead of a
government operated Health Care system,”
Bob Carpenter, a physical therapist, said.
Patrick Nolar, a Sociology Professor
at USC, said: “Senator DeMint has a
comprehensive bill to get insurance. We need
a more competitive system.”
But not everyone agreed with the senator.
An obstetrician based in West Columbia,
who gave his name only as Dr. Watt said,
“The system is broken and needs to be fixed.
I wanted to hear how the senator plans to deal
with the abuses of the insurance industry.
Today you have people at insurance companies
with only a bachelor’s degree disapproving
surgeries that the doctor feels necessary.”
There was a little bit of explanation as
to how DeMint plans would fix health care
(despite the fact that he already believes it
to be the best in the world.) My personal
question: then why didn’t he fix it when there
was a Republican majority to back him up?
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
September 3, 2009 9
 Hip Hop keeps rolling. TI is almost double
platinum, Jay-Z is prepping the release of Blueprint
3, Bow Wow has signed with Cash Money Records,
Spike Lee is planning a Brooklyn style Michael
Jackson Memorial (going to be great!!), and I’m
proud to announce that my new live talk show, The
Record Report (www.therecordreport.com) has now
hit the airwaves of WOIC 1230 AM on Sundays @
12:05p (Shout to my co-host Dirty Dickens)…Tune
in to get the true scoop on music. Let’s get it!!!!
CURRENT LISTENS
1) Mobb Deep- The Infamous Best Of (Banging!!!)
2) Maxwell-Black Summer’s Night
3) Method Man & Redman- Blackout 2
4) Mos Def- The Estatic
5) Laura Izibor- Let The Truth Be Told
6) Grand Puba- Retroactive
7) Dead Prez- Pulse of the People
8) The Beat Junction Project- Circa 197? (The Dirty
Version)
REVIEWS
Let me be clear, when it comes to Hip Hop, a
group of dope emcees will always get a few nods
& looks their way. Take this small list for example:
The Native Tongues (De La, Tribe, Jungle Bros...),
The Juice Crew (Big Daddy Kane, Kool G. Rap,
MC Shan…), Death Row (w/ Dr. Dre, Snoop, Daz,
Lady of Rage, Kurupt, 2Pac…), The Hit/Def Squad
(EPMD, Redman, Keith Murray, K-Solo...), The
Wu-Tang Clan, and many more that cannot be
forgotten. A new group on Hip Hop’s horizon had
their start on an album cut of one of their members
who’s been in the game since Eminem dropped his
1st 12 inch. Coming from all corners of the country
this group has amassed enough buzz and bang to
ensure that someone pays attention. Consisting of
Royce The 5’ 9” (from Detroit), Joe Budden (from
New Jersey), Crooked I (from Cali), and Joell
10 September 3, 2009
Ortiz (from Brooklyn); these four emcees known
collectively as The Slaughterhouse, really enjoy their
craft. From back to back rhyming, metaphorical
massacres, lyrical lane switching, and of course
the impromptu verses of the album, chemistry in
the mic booth runs deep. All emcees hail from
different backgrounds from gang life, college, the
workforce, and even to rehab, but all understand how
to rock. Coming off the buzz single, The One, getting
rotation on MTV2, Slaughterhouse gives you lyrics
multiplied by 5. Songs like ‘Microphone’, ‘Praying
For Help’, ‘Salute’, ‘OnSlaught 2’ and ‘Cuckoo’ all
bang. Although all of these emcees can spit, I’m
partial to Mr. Joell Ortiz. Simply put 3 words… ‘He
Getz Busy!!!’ Alchemist, Exile, and more helm the
soundboards. Slaughterhouse has dropped their debut
album (Slaughterhouse- E1 Records) a few weeks
back but I guarantee that if you love Hip Hop as much
as I do, you’ll definitely give this a spin.
EVENTS
Non Stop Hip Hop Live is preparing for one of
the greatest events to ever hit South Carolina…THE
CULTURE FEST. Music, Art, & Life…The show
hits September 6th @ The New Brookland Tavern.
On stage you’ll get to see some of the best acts SC
has to offer. Acts like Dan Johns, The Shaw.w. Bros.,
Preach, Rainey Vexen, Fat Rat Da Czar, Coolie G,
and many more. Whether Soul, Rock, Hip Hop,
or Reggae is your taste, make sure you come out,
enjoy yourself, tell a friend about it, and support your
homegrown music scene. Doors open at 8, show
starts at 9. Damage is $8 (advance tix)/$10 (show
price day of). It’s going to be one to remember!!!!!!
WORDS OF WISDOM
“Be on your A-Game, you never know who’s
watching!!!!” Stay Up!!!!
Kingpin@nonstophiphoplive.com
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 3 Mac’s on Main Fat Rat Da Czar The Predecessor The Thirsties
Soul Patrol Coolie G A Better Hell Calculator
Cafe Strudel Mike Smith This Island Earth American Gun
Ryan the Oneironaut New Brookland Tavern Rainey Vexen Magnetic Flowers
Graves Of Valor Ali-Rah Utopia Marry A Thief
New Brookland Tavern By The Sins Fell Angels Jim Snooka aka Logic David Beale Junior Astronomers
Truckstop Coffee Diavolo Hello Tomorrow
Harvard The Moultrie Killer MONDAY SEPTEMBER 7 Wild Wing Cafe
Junior Astronomers From Idle Hands Mighty McFly Cafe Strudel
The Rise Of Science Carolina Chupracabra New Brookland Tavern Compromise The Downpour
Sons Of Solomon EVA FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 11
Utopia Rita Repulsa Roam Alone Headliners    
Zack Seibert Emora In Regret Cafe Strudel Downcount
Mind Sludge Redd Wyne Outshine
Wild Wing Cafe Utopia Miles Apart
Tokyo Joe J’Ouvert Steel Drum Band THC Headliners     Mac’s on Main
Seven Mary Three Soul Patrol
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 4 Wild Wing Cafe TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 8 Ambertone
Rock Candy Starseed Project New Brookland Tavern
Cafe Strudel Headliners Just Ozzy Sweet Tooth
Brodie Porterfield Luke Marr’s Unemployed
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 6 Rose Funeral*
Whisteria Cottage Mac’s on Main Potential
Headliners Deleveled
Joe Tucker & The Class of 99 Art Bar What Lies Beneath The Tide Fatback and the Groove Band
1/2 Angela Easterling
Darren Woodlief WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 9 New Brookland Tavern The White Mule
Slow Decline Lovell Sisters
Beautiful Armor Motherless Chillin’ Prom King Cobra
Alien Carnival New Brookland Tavern Mainline
Kenley Young and the Death Eleven Fifty Seven Population Control Utopia
Mac’s on Main Wavy Space
Natural Desire Panels Reckless Abandon ...for science!
Echoes of Trenholm Ten Car Pile Up Defeat
DNR Akronim Wild Wing Cafe
Utopia Tokyo Joe
The Whatever Band Josh and Riley McGill Utopia
Pinna Utopia The Blue Iguanas
The Dirty Lowdown The Papa String Band SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 13
Wild Wing Cafe
U-Phonik Jellyroll and Delicious Dish Wild Wing Cafe
Stillhouse THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 10 The Reason Your Listening New Brookland Tavern
Scott Crossley Ice Nine Kills
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 5 At Last Glance
Justin Banks Cafe Strudel SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 12
Alien Carnival Noah Brock Emora
Art Bar Corporate Casual
Stillhouse Dirty Lowdown Art Bar
Cletus Baltimore Gypsy, Sun and Rainbows Headliners Death Becomes Even The
Devils In Disguise WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 16
Mother’s Finest Maiden
New Brookland Tavern The Heist and The Accomplice The White Mule
Cafe Strudel Preach New Brookland Tavern The Unawares -
The Good Witch David Mead
Dan Johns Human* Kenley Young & the Open Fires W.P.A

City Paper Pick:

Tuesday, Rose Funeral
September 8, 2009 Whisteria Cottage
Headliners What Lies Beneath The Tide

90+% humidity. Although I have to show...my feeling is that if you know

Well typically August and into
September is when I listen to the most
metal. There is nothing better to listen
to when the weather is brutally hot out
than, well, brutal music. Really there
is no reason to listen to happy shit to
try to lessen the blow of stepping out
of your house into 100+ degrees and
say as I write this it’s unseasonable cool
for late August early September. C’est
le vie. There are a number of good
metal shows on tap, it kinda depends
on what you’re into. (The Thursday
September 10th show at NBT* came
in a very close second as pick of the
week, and I recommend you check it
out if you have the time) Rose Funeral
is a quality death metal/deathcore band
out of Cincinnati OH...the promoter
has decided to prominently display
they are on Metal Blade (is the metal
scene in Columbia dominated by label
whores? I didn’t think so...but maybe it
is) My roomate tells me that if you are
into Oceano, Whitechapel and Misery
Index, then you will want to be at this
those bands you probably already
have tickets to this show and this pick
is pointless. (But I have been wrong
before...one time in 1988) The band’s
vocals are strong and utilize varying
styles with success (see Redeemer of
Flesh). While most of their songs are
composed of one catchy breakdown
after another (which can be a good or a
bad thing-I’ll side with good), between
the breakdowns the band is less
dynamic but still very solid.. Whisteria
Cottage is a deathcore band out of
Baltimore...what can I say, they play
fast and there are enough breakdowns
and melodic elements in their songs to
keep you attentive.
- Norbet Sykes
 Thursday 3 Friday 4 Saturday 5 Sunday 6 Monday 7 Tuesday 8 Wednesday 9
$5/$8 7pm $2 9pm $10 5pm $8/$10 8pm $3/$5 5:45pm $3/$5 7:30pm $5/$8 6:30pm
SEPTEMBER

Truckstop NBT’s End of Summer

Coalition of Brutality
End of Summer
Drunk Olympics Massacre w/:
Non Stop Hip Hop
Live Culture fest
Recession
Monday Acoustic Eleven Fifty
Coffee
Preach with Show Seven
Harvard
Hosted by:
Jesse!
Graves of Valor
By the Sins Fell Angels
Diavolo
Dan Johns
Fat Rat Da Czar
Coolie G
EVA
Roam Alone
Justing R.
Brightford Reckless Abandon
Competitions Include: The Moultrie Killer Mike Smith Adam Glover Ten Car Pile Up
Junior Astronomers Limbo, Hula Hoop, From Idle Hands Rainey Vexen In Regret Chris Brushwood Akronim
The Rise of Science Simon Says, Chugging, Carolina Chupracabra Ali-Rah Mind Sludge TBA
& more. Sons of Solomon Jim Snooka aka Logic Miles Apart
Rita Repulsa Breakdancing Showcase THC
Thursday 10 Friday 11 Saturday 12 Sunday 13 Monday 14 Tuesday 15 Wednesday 16
$5/$8 7pm $8 8pm $5/$8 8pm $8 7pm $5/$8 7pm $5/$8 6pm $5/$7 7pm
SEPTEMBER

Human Yukos Ice Nine Kills NBT’s

Prom King Cobra
Mainline the Crude At Last Glance Life on New Music Night Jam Room
Presents
The Predecessor
A Better Hell Population Control Sweet Tooth
Luke Marr’s Emora
Repeat
The Resistance
Sines of Silence Nux Vomica
...for Science! Ocean is Theory Famous Last Words
This Island Earth Unemployed Potential Corporate Casual Charlie NcIver Kakastocracy
Defeat Goldcure The Skuds
Deleveled Matthew Clifton
TBA Beyond This Point Defeat
Thursday 17 Friday 18 Saturday 19 Sunday 20 Monday 21 Tuesday 22 Wednesday 23
TBA TBA $8 5:30pm $10 7pm $5/$8 8pm TBA TBA NBT’s
TBA End
TBA Of Summer
TBA TBA
Drunk Olympics
SEPTEMBER

My Losing Season
TBA Phone Calls From Home Showbread Vadim von 9pm Doors $2 Cover / 18+ Only
The Venetia Fair
Behold the Messenger
Testing Ground Sein Zum Tode Hosted By Jesse!
$3/$4 9:30pm
Goodnight Caulfield Divulgence Competitions Include: Limbo, Hulu
Aviary Fire Hoop, Simon Says, Chugging, etc.
DANCE PARTY The Gallery More Events On The Way
hosted by
John Anthony
FRIDAY SEPT. 4

9/5 September 13th Colour Revolt

All Get Out
$10 $8 Ghosts of the Great
5pm 7pm Highway
Twin Tigers
Coalition of Brutality
End of Summer Massacre
with Showbread 8/24
Graves Of Valor Testing Ground
By The Sins Fell Angels
Diavolo
Goodnight Caulfield 6pm $15
The Moultrie Killer Aviary Fire EvergreenTerrace
From Idle Hands With The Gallery SticktoYourGuns
Carolina Chupracabra At Last Glance
September 19th September 27
Sons Of Solomon
Emora Oceano
7pm $10
Rita Repulsa
Emora Corporate Casual $10 7pm ForToday

122 State St. W Columbia SC 29169

12 August 6, 2009 www.newbrooklandtavern.com 803.791.4413 The Little Mermaid, Photo by Lyon Hill
SavageLove
Do you think post-op transgender people
have any obligation to tell their lovers they were
once the other sex?
On The Fence
Yes.
I’m in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine
years is no longer interested in sex. Period. I
haven’t had a blowjob in about eight years, I
can’t touch her beautiful tits, kissing is without
tongue, and our rare sex is missionary and in
the dark. I’m miserable.
I believe she’s depressed. She refuses to get
help, saying that if only I would do this or that,
she would be more willing. But I do this and
that, and she’s still not interested. After a lot of
talking, she suggested that I find a girlfriend
for sex. However, she set conditions that were
unrealistic: She wanted to meet and approve of
her before I slept with her; and I could only see
this other person late at night, with the wife’s
permission, which would only be granted after
ALL other family obligations were satisfied
(kids in bed, bills paid, trash taken out, etc.).
I preferred a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach.
She then withdrew the idea entirely. I proceeded
to meet and sleep with several different women
anyway, and I am now seeing one regularly. Sex
is enjoyable again.
My question: I know that people would say
I am cheating on my wife, but am I wrong to feel
just as cheated by her?
Need Some Answers
No.
Whose idea was it to give an asshole faggot
like you an advice column, anyway? You’re a
stupid piece of shit who doesn’t know anything
about sex or the human heart, and you will
regret everything you’ve ever done and every
word you’ve ever written once you die and have
to stand before your Creator.
God Hates You
Maybe so.
“You’re a stupid piece of sh#% who doesn’t know anything about sex or the
human heart, and you will regret everything you’ve ever done and every word
you’ve ever written once you die and have to stand before your Creator. ”
A couple months ago, I sent you an e-mail
thanking you for doing what you do. Today, the
power of your voice hit home. As you know, an
angry, sexually frustrated gunman went on a
killing spree at a fitness center in Pittsburgh.
Reading the killer’s blog, I was struck by the
similarity of his situation to that of the lonely,
sexually frustrated men you counseled in your
column the week before the shooting. But
George Sodini did not reach out; the men who
wrote you did.
The reason this strikes so close to home is
that my situation for years was very similar to
14 September 3, 2009
Sex advice column
by Dan Savage
Sodini’s and to the lonely men who you helped
in that column. Although I wasn’t a virgin, I was
“clogged up” and unable to get close to people
physically and emotionally. I overcame my fears
and hang-ups, and life is good now. But it wasn’t
easy. I was never as angry as Sodini, but I was
absolutely as lonely and isolated as he was and
every bit as lonely as the men whose letters you
answered. Maybe if I’d been alone another 14
years—I found my life partner at 34—I might
have become that angry.
Middle-Aged Family Guy
Thank you for the note, MAFG, and
thanks—I think—for pointing me to George
Sodini’s blog. The blog has been pulled down,
but it is extensively quoted in news reports and
it makes for depressing reading. It’s never pretty
when chronic sexual deprivation and a lifetime
of romantic rejection slam into a narcissistic
personality with sociopathic tendencies who
happens to live in a country awash in guns:
“I actually look good. I dress good, am
clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne—yet 30
million women rejected me, over an 18- or 25-
year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million
is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable
single women there are.”
So, hey, why not go shoot up an aerobics
class full of women?
A woman I knew at college—an
antiviolence activist, righteous and right-on—
used to say, “Testosterone is gasoline, porn the
match.” I disagree. Testosterone is gasoline—
which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (gas makes
things go)—but sexual frustration is the match.
I’m not suggesting that this tragedy
could’ve been averted if only some selfless
woman had “taken one for the team” and
married Sodini, an asshole and a sociopath. The
women who rejected him obviously saw him for
what he was and were right to run in the other
direction. But if someone had told Sodini, who
hadn’t had sex since 1990, to see sex workers—
something I advised the guys in my column two
weeks ago to consider (among other things)—it
might have taken the edge off his anger and kept
it from curdling into homicidal rage. Maybe if
we, as a society, valued sex workers and sex
work, if we legalized and regulated it, and if
we viewed “paying for it” as a legitimate option
for guys who would otherwise go without for
decades, perhaps this tragedy could have been
averted.
Don’t get me wrong: I wouldn’t wish a
client as sick as Sodini on any of my sex-worker
pals. But if Sodini had started seeing sex workers
back in 1991 and not, say, two weeks ago last
Monday, perhaps he wouldn’t have snapped.
But Sodini wasn’t taking advice from me.
He was getting it from R. Don Steele, author of
How to Date Young Women: For Men Over 35.
The book was sitting on Sodini’s coffee table in
a video he posted to the web. Steele apparently
traffics in—and profits from—instilling false
hopes in losers like Sodini. (“Immediately
improve your success with women!” Steele says
on his website www.steelballs.com. “Everything
is 100% guaranteed money back.”)
Sodini felt that he was entitled not just to
sex and a romantic relationship, but to sex and
a romantic relationship with a much younger
woman. And he was following the advice of a
love-and-romance guru who encouraged him
to cling to that belief. But Sodini wasn’t just
another socially maladapted schlub furious with
the world—and with women—for denying him
the twentysomething ass he felt he had coming.
Sodini was a nut. And he couldn’t understand
why, if he was doing everything right, he wasn’t
finding the success that Steele guaranteed him.
Someone needed to sit Sodini down and
explain that settling down requires settling for
and that young women are usually interested
in young men and that we can’t always have
what we want and that there might be women
out there who would date him—perhaps women
closer to his own age, women in his own league
in the looks and social-skills departments (and
Sodini wasn’t bad looking)—but no woman
was going to date him until after he got his shit
=>.<-*B<
Slice Night
$1.25
=1>;<-*B<
together. And someone needed to tell him that 2 for 1
he wasn’t going to impress the ladies by leaving
How to Date Young Women: For Men Over 35
Medium 2 toppings
on his coffee table. (Dine in Only!)
And someone needed to tell him that some
men—and some women—are alone all their
lives and, yeah, that sucks and it’s not fair and
it hurts.
Instead, Sodini had R. Don “Steel Balls” 341 S. Woodrow St.
Steele telling him that if he just bought a
matching sofa set—really—and the right suit, (Corner of Woodrow and Rosewood)
that success was guaranteed.
mail@savagelove.net
803.252.6931
ROCK N’ ROLL ¡Ask a Mexican!
CROSSWORDS
“YOU MAKE MY PUZZLES COME TRUE”
Across
1. Inspired ‘Turn On Your
Love Light’?
5. Sang about ‘Little
Earthquakes’
9. “At the car ___”
13. What Syd Barrett went
14. What Springsteen keeps
‘Spare’
16. Vedder’s ‘__ The Wild’
soundtrack
17. ‘___ Smile’ Hall and Oates
18. Pat Benatar ‘___ Me
Right’
19. They don’t have ‘The
Power’ anymore
20. Michael Martin Murphy
‘___ Knots In The Devil’s
Tail’
22. Social D ‘___ Between
Heaven And Hell’
24. What Metallica does right
before they ‘Destroy’
something
26. Verbal Queensryche
song?
27. Ramones ‘All Quiet On
The _____ Front’
30. The Wailers ‘Tom ____’
33. Pre-show room
35. Type of music?
37. “___ it on, bang a gong”
38. Lightning ___
41. Roxy Music’s Brian
42. Metallica ‘___ Sandman’
45. Morbid Three Days Grace
song?
48. Tool song off AEnima
51. Red Lorry Yellow Lorry
band nickname
52. What A&R guy swings
54. Cherry and American
55. “He said leave me alone!
I’m a ____ __ “(! 2 wds)
59. Needed to keep your job
as a recording artist
62. He had his ‘Parsons
Project’
63. Guns And Roses ‘Dust N’
___’
65. ___ Amos (!)
66. Kid Rock ‘All Summer
___’
67. Dressing room product
___ Lauder
68. Demonic Interpol song?
69. What we looked at ‘Peg’
through
70. “The __ is high, but I’m
holding on”
71. What has to be hit when
hangin’ w/Fiddy?
Down
1. The ‘Night’ Traveling
Wilburys sang about
2. “You’re so far __. Doesn’t
anybody stay in one place
anymore?”
3. ‘You Oughta Know’ singer
4. Spacey Teenage Fanclub
song?
5. Barenaked Ladies ‘The Old
__’, for short
6. Where Jared Leto’s going
in ‘30 Seconds’
7. If Dave Matthews Band
were cookies
8. What I’m From Barcelona
has a ‘Collection’ of
9. Where Nirvana’s ‘Muddy
Banks’ were
10. Actress that played ‘Mrs.
Robinson’
11. They were criminally not:
Big ___
12. ‘___ Of Deliverance’ Sir
Paul
15. Pricey Phish song off
‘Billy Breathes?
21. Bee ___
23. Rancid ‘The ___ End’
25. Kristofferson
27. U2 guitarist
28. 84’ live Duran Duran
album
29. Direction Aerosmith
drives home
31. All You ___ __ ___ (3
wds)
32. What Christina Aguilera
was on her first hit
34. Collective Soul “Come
together now, let’s __”
36. What starts tapping when
watching a good band
39. ‘Runaway’ singer Shannon
40. What Diana Ross told us
to do in the name of love 43. The
All American Rejects’
are ‘Happy’
44. ___ Big Fish
46. “When everything’s made
to be broken, I just want you
to know who I am”
47. “If I ___ you bad, you
bruise my face” Bush
49. Stereophonics ‘___
Tomorrow’
50. Florida band that “nearly”
made it
53. The Academy Is...album
55. Billy Idol ‘Catch My __’
56. ___ Blacc ‘Shine Through’
57. Til Tuesday’s Aimee
58. INXS ‘__ You Tonight’
60. Texan guitarist Johnson
61. Boz Scaggs ‘___ Degree’
64. Mazzy Star ‘So Tonight
That I Might __’
SPECIAL ONE- OR TWO-LINERS EDITION
Dear Mexican: A gabacho
in the local daily suggested some
of our prisons be outsourced to
Dear Mexican: How I do
I explain a dead Mexican in my
Mexico to save us some money. bed? Moments before, he was
What are your thoughts? Would alive and muy caliente. But when
wabs make for good guards I mentioned matrimonio, he
looking after homies and white- stopped and looked at me with
trash inmates? Have a chew on wide eyes. Then, that was it. El
that taco. fin, like it says at the end of an
Mike the Mick From old Mexican movie with Pedro
Missouri Infante. Is this how Mexican
lovers normally react?
Dear Mick: My thoughts? Sonriendo Gringa en
Ew, a Missouri taco. Tucson
   
Dear Mexican: I’m Dear Smiling Gabacha:
planning to do some landscaping The reaction you describe is
at my farm and wanted to know: By GUSTAVO ARELLANO endemic to all guys, not just
Is it better to hire the Mexicans wabs. No, the standard Mexican
looking for work who wait at Lowe’s, or the ones hombre’s coital aftermath consists of spilled
who wait at Home Depot? Which ones will do the horchata, a satiated chica and a new soldier for
best work? the Reconquista.
Farmer Baboso  
  Dear Mexican: What is it with Mexicans,
Dear Gabacho: Neither. Try the ones at the beer, LOUD music and prepaid phone cards?
local union, so a farmer can pay a non-exploitative Every day, they buy a $5 phone card that they say
wage to Mexicans for once. they’re using to call Mexico, but I know those cards
  have five-plus hours on them. Is that what they do
Dear Mexican: What is it with Mexicans and all day after getting drunk from cheap beer? I live
shoes? Or is it Mexicans and shoe stores? Is it in a once-quiet, peaceful Asian and Anglo-Saxon
a Mexican-national thing only, or are Mexican- neighborhood, but after 10 Mexicans moved into
Americans enamorados con zapatos y zapaterías, one of the houses, I have been up all night into
también? Here’s a story: My sis-in-law had a ungodly hours.
shower for her first baby, and her cousin-in-law, Raccoon Eyes
a Mexican national from Tijuana, gave her and  
her bebe SHOES—stiff, shiny, leather (plastic?) Dear Gabacha: Those Mexicans are courting
SHOES—even though the little guy was a good you. And judging by your intimate knowledge of
eight to 10 months away from starting to walk. their phone use, it’s working!
What’s going on here?  
Zapato-Liking-But-Not-Loving Gringo Dear Mexican: Don’t you get tired of
  answering these ignorant questions and somehow
Dear Gabacho: We like shoes! They help us becoming the voice of all Mexican-Americans
kick gabacho ass, flee gabachos, step over them because Lord knows you guys are ALL the same
for jobs, stomp on their illusions of a monolingual (just a hint of sarcasm there)? I understand that
America, climb over their walls and teach good if you didn’t set a few people straight, they would
posture for all of the above acciones. never know and continue to wallow around in
  their ignorance, but don’t you just want to slap
Dear Mexican: I was recently at a Mexican them? Maybe a little bit? Just to get it out of your
beach where people kept coming up trying to sell system?
me jewelry, key chains, time-share condos and all Curioso Caucasian
kinds of other shit I didn’t want. What I wanted was  
a joint. Virtually everyone I asked told me he’d go Dear Gabacho: No on all counts. Ignorance-
see his cousin and would be back in an hour. None busting is a muy bueno career, and written patadas
of them ever came back. What happened? beat physical cachetadas (use a Spanish-English
Sombrero Jones dictionary, gabachos!) in any era.
Dear Gabacho: They left for los Estados Ask the Mexican at themexican@
Unidos. Figured all Americans are as pendejo as askamexican.net
you.
September 3, 2009 15
 803.218.9455

SuDoKu

16 September 3, 2009
 Arts
External Signing
The Printmaking Artwork of Bill Hosterman
By Judit Trunkos
It is easy to be lost in Bill Hosterman’s prints
(in a good way). His images and shapes seem to
explore the world on an elemental level, as if he is
searching for the core elements that define living
things. Hosterman’s work explores ideas about the
essence of humans and our environment. Through
collage, he constructs and deconstructs each image,
keeping what feels essential and leaving other things
out until he finally reaches the perfect abstract.
Born and raised in Pennsylvania, Bill
Hosterman earned his BFA in printmaking in 1995,
and he received a Fulbright scholarship to study
printmaking for a year in South Africa. He spent
Call James Wallace at 803-466-3817 for advertising info!
a year in Johannesburg, working primarily at The
Artists’ Press, a lithographic print shop owned
and operated by Tamarind Master Printer Mark
Attwood, and which was featured at IMPACT 3 in
Cape Town. During his time at The Artists’ Press,
he was introduced to a printmaking technique called
dry point lithography. He completed his MFA in
printmaking at Indiana University-Bloomington in
1999.
Hosterman has also studied plate lithography at
Tamarind Institute’s summer workshop and non-toxic
printmaking with Keith Howard in Canada. Since
then, Hosterman has been teaching printmaking
at Grand Valley State University in Michigan and
enjoys a wide international fame as he exhibited all
around the world including: Hawaii, Italy, Germany,
China and the United Arab Emirates.
The exhibited prints at McMaster Gallery are
non-representational works, which allow the artist
to explore figurative styles without limitations;
perfect for Hosterman’s abstract depiction of the
world –which, as in life, seems somehow both
random and calculated at once. His piece “locus,” a
term in genetics that represents a fixed position on a
chromosome that can be occupied by multiple genes,
is a perfect representation of his work; an amalgam
of abstract curves and spirals that coalesce into a
beautiful whole.
McMaster Gallery presents “External Signing:
The Printmaking Artwork of Bill Hosterman”
through October 2.
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
14
18 July 23, 2009
 “Some doctor at the Melrose Resort was
comparing it to Brothers Karamazov,” Roger
Pinckney was saying about his new novel, Reefer
Moon, published last month by Joggling Board
Press. Then he grinned a rapscallion grin and
added, “I said I thought it was more like Brothers
Kutyernutzoff, myself.”
We were at the Freeport Marina on Daufuskie
Island. Daufuskie is the southernmost point in
South Carolina, our last sea island. If Hilton Head
looks like a boot, Daufuskie is the ball it’s about
to kick.
Freeport Marina is one of the two ways
on—or off—of the bridgeless island. In the middle
of the small store, surrounded by crackers, soda,
gum, and crab nets, sat a table loaded down with
Pinckney’s books. You could almost overlook his
previous titles—Seventh Son, Blue Roots, The
Right Side of the River, Signs and Wonders, and
Little Glory—so surrounded were they by the
“Lucky J” shrimp boats emblazoned with the pot
leaves on the cover of Reefer Moon. Then there
was the paraphernalia. T-shirts and hats sported the
Reefer Moon logo: the South Carolina state flag
with a marijuana leaf at the top of the palmetto.
The Reefer Moon state flag may not please
everyone—Pinckney’s own mother has warned
people away from the book, calling it trashy— but
the main character, Yancey Yarboro embodies the
peculiar characteristics of the modern Lowcountry
like no one else in our fiction. And it may just be
the trashiness that helps us learn to listen to things
Pincnkey has been trying to tell us for the past
twelve years.
Yarboro, a Vietnam War vet, farms tomatoes
at his father’s place on Daufuskie. His father,
a retired judge, had been mired in scandal and
alcohol ever since he shot two burglars through
the head with one bullet. Yancey discovers that
the old man may sell the land to an Atlanta Real
Estate Developer named Poogie Drake. Yancey
knows that the land is not his, it belongs to the
Gullah and to the Indians before them, and yet the
rages to save it.
After an affair with a Savannah stripper ends
in a bar fight, Yancey finds himself falling in love
with Susan Drake, the developer’s wife. Yancey is
always quoting scripture and he is a fundamentalist
Christian of a strange sort, but when he needs help
with Susan he goes to the local hoodoo man, or
root doctor, Gator Brown.
It’s when he’s gone to gather some graveyard
dust for Gator’s spell that Yancey finds the missing
dope that gives the book its title. Four hundred
pounds worth. This plotline is based on the true
events surrounding Operation Jackpot, one of the
biggest drug-busts in U.S. history, pulled off—or
almost pulled off—entirely by Beaufort amateurs.
Yancey, of course, gets irrevocably mixed up in
it all. Christy and Mike, the principle smugglers,
disappear, leaving Yancey to dance to the music.
Yancey seems to experience the world with
a prophetic intensity that the biblical rhythms of
Pinckney’s conversational prose captures well:
“He was in the world—like the Good Book says—
but often he was not of it, like John the Baptizer,
to lay an axe to the trunks of the trees not bearing
fruit.” Though motivated by such radical notions,
Yancey is not irrational. He works according to a
reason of his own, a reason he calls poetry, and
blames on the Chinese bullet lodged in his brain.
But, when his mother and father drunkenly try to
run him over with the car, we know Yancey didn’t
need a war to get the way he was.
In many ways Yancey Yarboro is like his
creator, though Pinckney warns “I made him a
little crazy so he could say things I couldn’t.”
Anybody who has ever met Roger Pinckney or
taken his tour of Daufuskie knows that he says
pretty much whatever he damn well pleases.
To tour Daufuskie with Pinckney is sort of
like taking a riverboat ride with Mark Twain. I
came out to ride along on the second tour of a hot
August day. We had six people, three generations
of an African American family from Maryland.
Most people get around the small island on golf-
carts, but we loaded into a van, equipped with a
microphone and were off.
“Daufuskie is the right side of the river. The
rest of North America is the wrong side,” Pinckney
was saying as the road cut through the jungle of
palmetto and oaks hung with Spanish moss and
resurrection ferns. “We try to be as self-sufficient
as we can over here. We got shrimp, we got fish,
we got oysters now again, we got venison and we
got big gardens and we got chickens, lay eggs.
But once in a while,” he added with a flourish of
his hand, leaning into the microphone like a soul
singer, “we got to go for liquor, light bulbs and
toilet paper. We got to go to Hilton Head. And we
hate to go there so that we call it Hilton Hell.”
Everybody laughed.
Roger went on to explain the development
battles that have shaped Daufuskie. “In the 1970s,
the real estate wizards over in Hilton Head were
looking around and they could see that one day
Hilton Head was one day going to be built up and
they were looking for another spot to work their
magic. So, in 1979, they came to Daufuskie…
They spent two hundred million dollars— and
went broke.”
Pinckney paused. The van edged forward past
an old oysterman’s shack.
“The second batch came in and bought at a
discount, spent another hundred and fifty million…
and all went broke. The third batch bought Melrose
Resort. Five years later, they declared bankruptcy.
Some say it was marine transportation that did
them in. But other people say that Dr. Buzzard did
it. Voodoo doctor from Beaufort who put the ‘No
Money Root’ on Daufuskie. Because when the
money came in, the property taxes went up so high
that people lost the land they’d had since they first
got Freedom.”
Roger Pinckney is white, but he believes that
being African American is about more than race.
“Africa defines the South. It makes southerners
different from all the rest of Americans, black or
white,” he was telling the black family on the tour
bus as we parked in front of the First Union African
Baptist church. “Because our speech patterns, the
food we eat… you know the statement that the
wealth of the South was built with the sweat of
slaves. It was also built with the brains of slaves.
They built this country not just with sweat but
with skills.”
Inside the old church Pinckney’s voice
boomed like that of a black preacher. During a
stint in Minnesota (where he was so addicted to
hunting bears that he changed his son’s birth date
so that it would not be on the opening day of bear
season), Roger was the preacher at Maplewood
Lutheran Church. He called the seven years he
spent there an interesting tenure but said he “eased
out” when Blue Roots, his book on the “African
American Folk magic of the Gullah people” came
out. “Much murmuring among the Norwegian
faithful,” he said by way of explanation.
Yancey Yarboro seems to share Pinckney’s
convictions and his proclivities. “Yancey was a
Baptist and they called him a backslider. Yancey
knew better. He ran with loose women because he
was tempted more than most men. Yes, he loved
his whiskey, but mostly drank beer.”
Well, except Pinckney seems to have found
himself a serious woman now. And he mostly
drinks liquor (it’s easier to transport on the ferry).
He wrote so well about Young Heaven Hill
whiskey that I had to bring him a big old plastic
half gallon jug of it. After the tour, we sat around
the living room of his Melrose cottage and drank
=>.<-*B<
it. Melrose? One of the abandoned resorts? Slice Night
“There was a lot of people mad after the
book,” Pinckney explained. “I needed to get a little $1.25
bit of distance between me and them.”
It was a nice place, you could see the ocean
from the window. It was one of maybe three dozen
duplex cabins, almost all of them pastel and cheery
=1>;<-*B<
but empty. A kind of eerie ghost town. 2 for 1
“Who was mad?” I asked.
“Real Estate people mostly,” he said. “I don’t Medium 2 toppings
know why. There’s not a bad person in the book.
Even Poogie is trying.” (Dine in Only!)
I thought maybe they were mad because
Pinckney had succeeded where they’d so often
failed. He owned the island. Not literally, but in
the way that only a writer can own a place when
a book gets it just right. Of course, writers don’t
often come afoul of Dr. Buzzard’s “No Money
341 S. Woodrow St.
Root.” And that, says Pinckney, is the other good (Corner of Woodrow and Rosewood)
thing about his cottage: since the resort is closed
down, it’s a cheap place to finish up the two books
he has in the works.
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com 803.252.6931
September 3, 2009 19