Preferred Citation: Lamb, Sarah. White Saris and Sweet Mangoes: Aging, Gender, and Body in North India.

Berkeley: University of California Press, c2000 2000. http: ark.cdlib.or! ark: "#0#0 ft$%&00'c0

White Saris and Sweet Mangoes

Aging, Gender, and Body in North India Sarah Lamb
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA RESS

Berkeley Los Angeles London

! "### The Regents o$ the Uni%ersit& o$ Ca'i$ornia

Preferred Citation: Lamb, Sarah. White Saris and Sweet Mangoes: Aging, Gender, and Body in North India. Berkeley: University of California Press, c2000 2000. http: ark.cdlib.or! ark: "#0#0 ft$%&00'c0

re$a(e
(his book is abo)t a!in!, !ender, and the makin! and )nmakin! of persons. *arly on in my days in +an!aldihi ,the villa!e in -est Ben!al .here / did most of the research for this book0, / came across a .hite1clothed .ido. in her seventies called +e2o +a ,+iddle +other0, sittin! in the d)sty lane in front of her home. She co)ld not stop complainin! abo)t clin!in!. 3er attachments to her family, to thin!s, to !ood food, and to her o.n body .ere so ti!ht, she said, that she .as afraid of lin!erin! for years in a decrepit state, )nable to die. 43o. .ill / leave all these kids and thin!s and !o56 she lamented. She feared that after her body died her so)l .o)ld not ascend b)t .o)ld remain emotionally shackled nearby as a !host. *thno!raphic kno.led!e is al.ays infl)enced by the life e7periences of the anthropolo!ist. -hat anthropolo!ists perceive in the field and .hat they choose to .rite primarily abo)t is .hatever matters most to them. -hat str)ck me, .hile livin! and doin! research in +an!aldihi, .as not so m)ch old a!e per se, b)t the .ays people tho)!ht abo)t and mana!ed one of the f)ndamental dilemmas of the life co)rse8its compellin! intensity, on the one hand, and its irrevocable transience, on the other8a dilemma hi!hli!hted for Ben!alis ,and for )s all, perhaps, in some .ays0 in late life. 9s a child livin! in northern California, / had observed a !randmother and !reat1!randmother each .ido.ed and livin! alone in a bi!, separate ho)se. (hese older ad)lts, like my divorced parents and ad)lts in !eneral, str)ck me as very independent bein!s .hose d.indlin! relations .ith others left them too isolated for their o.n or anyone else:s comfort.

+e2o +a:s predicament .as a little different, tho)!h. She felt that her connections to others .ere not too loose b)t too tight. 9nother ancient villa!er, a spry ninety1seven1year1old Brahman .ido. named ;h)di (hakr)n, p)rs)ed many attachments that she did not consider .orrisome, even tho)!h others did. She lived in a ho)se .ith three !enerations of descendants and daily roamed the villa!e to !ossip .ith friends, arran!e marria!es, seek o)t the s.eetest man!oes and bananas, and transact her prospero)s b)siness of moneylendin!. <ther residents spoke of her disapprovin!ly, sayin! that her o)t!oin! behavior .o)ld ca)se her so)l after death to become an insatiable !host tro)blin! the villa!e. People in +an!aldihi spoke of their connections to the people, places, and thin!s of their .orlds as my, a m)ltivalent term often translated as 4ill)sion6 b)t to Ben!alis havin! the more immediate meanin! of attachment, affection, compassion, love. People described maya to me as somethin! .onderf)l and compellin!, yet nonetheless problematic and painf)l8beca)se the more maya people feel for other persons, places, and thin!s, the more diffic)lt become the separations that inevitably ens)e. (his is a dilemma faced especially in late life, people said, for the lon!er one lives, the stron!er and more n)mero)s the ties of maya become. =et it is in late life also .hen relations are the most ephemeral, as people face the myriad leave1takin!s of death. >)r)saday +)kher2ee, a middle1a!ed Brahman man, e7plained to me one day .ith tears in his eyes: 4?/n old a!e, a person@ realiAes that he .ill have to leave everythin! in this earth and !o a.ay. -hen / die, then / .ill have to leave everyone and everythin!8my children and everythin!. (hen all of the love and all of the affection that / .ill have8that is all maya. /t .ill make tears come.6 (hese sentiments of the older .omen and men / came to kno. in +an!aldihi reminded me of .hat / had felt .hen !ettin! to kno. my no. h)sband, then colle!e companion, ten years before !oin! to +an!aldihi. / .o)ld tell him that it is painf)l to fall in love, beca)se it .ill be all the more painf)l .hen it ends. ,3e .as perple7ed, sayin! that .e never had to separate if .e did not .ish to.0 (heir statements abo)t maya also reminded me of a passa!e / had first read a fe. years earlier in -endy Boni!er <:Claherty:s Dreams, Illusion, and Other ealities. She describes the .ay some /ndian te7t)al traditions present sam!sra, or the nat)re of e7istence in the fl)ct)atin! .orld: 4?+@any people distr)sted sam!sra not beca)se the .orld .as f)ll of pain b)t rather that it .as so .onderf)l that one co)ld not bear to be parted from it over and over a!ain at the end of each life, to be torn a.ay from all the people one had come to love6 ,"D&$:2DD0. 9nthropolo!y invites )s to e7pand o)r sense of h)man possibilities thro)!h the st)dy of partic)lar forms of life. Clifford >eertA ,"DE#:#00 has s)!!ested that 4(he essential vocation ofFanthropolo!y is not to ans.er o)r deepest G)estions b)t to make available to )s ans.ers that others, !)ardin! other sheep in other valleys, have !iven, and th)s to incl)de them in the cons)ltable record of .hat ?h)man bein!s have@ said.6 /n today:s .orld, one cannot really claim that /ndia or the people of +an!aldihi are 4other68c)lt)rally or !eo!raphically8for / no. kno. almost as many Ben!alis here in the United States as / did in +an!aldihi. /t is not the 4otherness6 of 4other sheep in other valleys6 that is important to an anthropolo!ical G)est. B)t the discipline:s end)rin! val)e does lie, as >eertA s)!!ests, in its vent)re to e7plore in depth partic)lar people:s ans.ers8.ithin any c)lt)ral and historical settin!8to abidin! h)man G)estions. <ver the follo.in! pa!es, / e7plore the .ays the Ben!alis / kne. in +an!aldihi tho)!ht abo)t and practiced a!in!, and ho. their visions of a!in! .ere tied to their )nderstandin!s of the makin! and takin! apart of social relations8incl)din! those of !ender8over the life co)rse. (hese G)estions form cr)cial components of Ben!ali )nderstandin!s of the h)man condition, and of .hat it is to be a person. H H H +any people and instit)tions have contrib)ted to this pro2ect, in .ays more profo)nd than / can e7press here, over the years that it has been in the makin!. +y field.ork in /ndia .as f)nded by the

C)lbri!ht13ays Pro!ram, the 9merican /nstit)te of /ndian St)dies, and the -enner1>ren Co)ndation for 9nthropolo!ical Iesearch. / received additional s)pport for periods of research and .ritin! from the 9merican 9ssociation of University -omen, the Committee on So)thern 9sian St)dies at the University of Chica!o, the Jational /nstit)te of 9!in! ,!rant K(#2000$% in Socioc)lt)ral >erontolo!y, Linda +itteness, director0, and a +arver and Sheva Bernstein Cac)lty Cello.ship at Brandeis University. /n /ndia, the C)lbri!ht Co)ndation and the 9merican /nstit)te of /ndian St)dies provided far more than simply f)ndin!. (hey offered indispensable assistance, n)rt)rance, and intellect)al !)idance from my first arrival in Calc)tta to my depart)re from Belhi. / am indebted especially to Uma Bas >)pta of the C)lbri!ht Co)ndation and to (ar)n +itra of 9//S. (his book has !ro.n o)t of the kno.led!e and er)dition !ained from my teachers at the University of Chica!o, .here this pro2ect first took shape. +y most profo)nd debt is to +c;im +arriott. 3is .isdom, penetratin! mar!inalia, and !enero)s disc)ssions have challen!ed, inspired, and s)stained me and this .ork in inn)merable .ays. / am also indebted to the invi!oratin! intellect)al insi!hts / have !ained from the mentorin! of Lean Comaroff, Ialph Jicholas, Jancy +)nn, Bernard Cohn, and (erence ()rner. *d.ard Bimock, Clinton Seely, and 9ditinath Sarkar at the University of Chica!o, and Sipra Chatter2ee at 9//S in Calc)tta, imparted to me not only kno.led!e of the Ben!ali lan!)a!e b)t also a !reat admiration for Ben!ali literat)re, c)lt)re, and people. <ther collea!)es, professionals, and friends have offered time, conversations, and critical readin!s that have been of !reat val)e. (hey incl)de Shelley 9dler, +e! 9rmstron!, Beb ;)mar Baner2ee, ;)mk)m and Ian2it Bhattacharya, P. ;. Bho.mick, 9my Borovoy, +arty Chen, La.rence Cohen, Lody Shapiro Bavie, Bob Bes2arlais, 9nn >old, ;athleen 3all, Linda 3ess, Lee 3orne, *)!ene /rschick, Pa)line ;olenda, Crank ;orom, Stanley ;)rtA, Sa2al +a2)mdar, Iachel and Scott +cBermott, *rnestine +c3)!h, Chas +c;hann, Linda +itteness, 9loka +itra, +ichael J)nley, >loria Iahe2a, P. J. ,Bacc)0 Ioy, Jancy Scheper13)!hes, Iichard Sh.eder, Stefan (immermans, Becky (olen, Sylvia Mat)k, Bonna -)lff, and especially Biane +ines. +y collea!)es in anthropolo!y and .omen:s st)dies at Brandeis University over the past several years have provided a s)pportive and stim)latin! abode. / am !ratef)l to the editors at the University of California Press8in partic)lar La)ra Bri)ssi, 9lice Calk, S)e 3einemann, and Lynne -ithey8for their s)pport of this .ork and for their editorial sa!acity. Several anonymo)s revie.ers also provided very )sef)l s)!!estions. (.o research assistants in +an!aldihi, Iabindranath +)kher2ee and Bipendra Jarayan (hak)r, assid)o)sly !ave of their time in cond)ctin! a villa!e cens)s, dra.in! maps, and transcribin! tapes. 9t Brandeis, 3a!ar Boitel and +ichelle Iisley provided .elcome assistance )ncoverin! so)rces and sketchin! dia!rams. /t is impossible to thank individ)ally all the many people in +an!aldihi, Santiniketan, and Calc)tta .ho have provided me .ith hospitality, friendship, and kno.led!e d)rin! the t.o and a half years / have th)s far spent there. / am !ratef)l to them all b)t .ish to mention a fe. in partic)lar. /ndira Bey ,4+asima60, +ita Bas), +an!al, Lamph)l, B)ri, and Bh)dan all helped provide me .ith a bea)tif)l and s)stainin! ref)!e in Santiniketan to .hich / co)ld periodically retreat. (he people of nearby >oyalpara villa!e8especially Chabi, Ian!a, Savitri, Bandana, and Latika8e7tended a .arm and open friendship that never failed to re2)venate and s)rprise me. B)rin! my lon! early stints of lan!)a!e trainin! and later research in Calc)tta, Satyabrata Bhattacharyya and his family, J. J. Chakraborty and 4Bo)di,6 S)bal and Chot) 3alder, +ith) and Ch)nam +itra and their parents, B)la and +on) Saha, and 92it ;)mar Sinha all provided me .ith s)stainin! hospitality and friendship. +ost important, it .as the people of the villa!e of +an!aldihi .ho very literally made this research possible, by takin! me into their homes and lives as a 4sister6 and 4da)!hter6 for ei!hteen months. B)lal +)kher2ee and his family !enero)sly .elcomed me as part of their family compo)nd .hen others .ere still .onderin! abo)t my presence. +y primary companion, 3ena +)kher2ee, !ave me

)n.averin! s)pport, advice, and friendship d)rin! .hat .ere sometimes tryin! times for )s both. 3er family and that of +amata and Liban ;rishna +)kher2ee .ere like second families to me in the villa!e. >)r)saday +)kher2ee devoted lon! ho)rs to teachin! me patiently abo)t the .ays of villa!e society and 3ind) reli!ion. 9nd the many elder or 4!ro.n6 ,"r!iddha0 .omen and men of +an!aldihi8Choto +a, +e2o +a, ;h)di (hakr)n, and Bho!i Ba!di notably amon! them8!ave me ho)rs of their time, revealin! their life stories and confidin! their aspirations and fears. /t is their e7periences and reflections abo)t daily life that make )p the heart of this st)dy. Cinally, / co)ld not be the person or scholar / am today .itho)t the lovin! s)pport, kno.led!e, and inspiration !ained from members of my family. +y father, Sydney Lamb, .as the one .ho first incited me at a very yo)n! a!e to G)estion and e7plore ho. .e and others make sense of the .orlds .e live in. +y mother, Sharon Io.ell, has al.ays enco)ra!ed me to p)rs)e my dreams and to do .hat / .ished ,even if that .o)ld mean not to complete a dissertation or .rite a book0. S)san Lamb and Boris Black have also, in distinct and important .ays, enco)ra!ed me and my .ork. +y t.o da)!hters, Iachel and La)ren, .ere born d)rin! the period of the .ritin! of this book. (hey have bro)!ht so m)ch 2oy and perspective into my life. (hey have also helped me come to )nderstand .hat many of the older .omen in +an!aldihi meant .hen they spoke of the intensity of a mother:s maya for her child, as al.ays !reater than a child:s maya for her mother. 9ltho)!h the e7i!encies of children and diverse 2obs have meant that my h)sband *d and / do not read as many of each other:s .ritten .ords as .e once did, / can still attest that .itho)t *d:s love, patience, shre.d disc)ssions, and selfless s)pport, this book .o)ld not have emer!ed as it has.

Note on Trans'ation and Trans'iteration

Unless other.ise noted, all statements and conversations reported over the follo.in! pa!es came from intervie.s and conversations that / either tape1recorded or 2otted do.n in fieldnotes d)rin! or several ho)rs after the disc)ssions. 9ll translations of conversations, stories, son!s, and printed Ben!ali materials are my o.n, )nless other.ise noted. /taliciAed terms in Ben!ali have been transliterated )sin! standard diacritics, .ith certain alterations made to preserve some faithf)lness to pron)nciation in Ben!ali. /n Ben!ali, the medial a is )s)ally prono)nced closer to an 4o6 than an 4a,6 so / have occasionally chosen to transliterate it as an 4o,6 especially .hen this chan!e is commonly made ,s)ch as "or!o for 4bi!,6 instead of "ar!a0. (he final a in Ben!ali is )s)ally not prono)nced, so it has been omitted from most .ords ,e.!., sam!sr, rather than sam!sra0. / employ a tilde .here a #andra"indu symbol .o)ld have occ)rred in the ori!inal. (here are a fe. terms, s)ch as my, that / )se repeatedly thro)!ho)t the bookN they appear in italics and diacritics on the first )sa!e only. 9ll freG)ently )sed Ben!ali terms can be fo)nd in the !lossary. James and other proper no)ns have been !iven their common *n!lish spellin!s ,e.!., Calc)tta, ;rishna0.

Introd)(tion
ers*e(ti%es thro)gh Age
+y sons all !re. )p, and / 4!ave6 all their .eddin!s. 9ll of them have their o.n families, and no. to .hose do / belon!5 Jo. .hose am /5 / am no lon!er anyone. Jo. one son is sayin!, 4/ came from a hole in the !ro)nd.6 9nother is sayin!, 4/ fell from the sky.6 9nother is sayin!, 4/ came from >od.6 9nd yet another is sayin!, 4+y hands and feet came on their o.nN / !re. )p on my o.n.6 -ho am / no.5 /:m speakin! the tr)th. -hat kind of thin! is a mother5

9 mother, a !randmother is like a deity. /:m still embarrassed to say that / live in a 4home.6 B)t .hat can / do5F9ffection and compassion no lon!er e7ist as they did. -e place so m)ch importance on the bodyN .e think of it as a very val)able thin!. B)t this is an erroneo)s, del)ded belief. -hen a!e happens, the body !ets .orn o)t like old, .orn clothesN and .hen .e die it is discarded. 9ll thin!s of this .orld are perishable, transitory. /t is only >od and the so)l that are lastin!. (his book e7plores a!in! as a means of !ainin! perspective on notions of !ender, the body, kinship, and the forces of c)lt)re. /t does so in -est Ben!al, /ndia, beca)se of the rich )nderstandin!s of a!in! fo)nd there, as s)!!ested by the passa!es G)oted above. <ne common ima!e of older .omen in /ndia is that of po.erf)l matriarchs .ho have finally come into their o.n as elderly mothers, mothers1in1la., and !randmothers, revered in some .ays, as 3ena reports, as deities. B)t .hen older .omen, like Billo:s +a, describe their o.n lives, they more often speak not of po.er and reverence b)t of losses and .anin! po.ers, of bein! for!otten by sons and their .ives, of havin! po)red o)t love, breast milk, and effort to raise their children and serve their families all of their lives8and in the end never receivin! as m)ch as they have !iven. 9nother common ima!e is voiced by >)r)saday: that old a!e hi!hli!hts the perishability of the body and all earthly matters, si!nalin! a time to foc)s on >od, the so)l ,tm0, and the heavenly so2o)rns or rebirths that .ill take place after this evanescent life. B)t for +asima, old a!e is a time .hen she is forced to break her family ties and seek an instit)tional ref)!e in a 4modern,6 sec)lar city. (he m)ltifaceted lens of a!in! is )sed in this book for vie.in! the varied .ays social ties may be formed and taken apart, and bodies and !enders transformed. Several theoretical concerns emer!e o)t of this ethno!raphy, havin! to do .ith recent initiatives .ithin anthropolo!y and !ender theory to rethink notions of c)lt)re, !ender, and the body. -hen / first be!an to st)dy the e7periences of a!in! amon! those / kne. in -est Ben!al, .hat str)ck me immediately .as ho. different the shape and feelin! of social relations and !ender constr)ctions looked to me thro)!h the eyes of the elderly .omen and men / so)!ht o)t. (he acco)nts / had read of So)th 9sian social life had been based predominantly on the perspectives of yo)n!er and middle1a!ed ad)lts.?"@ Cor instance, So)th 9sian .omen are commonly depicted as reG)irin! veilin! and modestyN b)t / sa. .hite1haired .omen .ho left their homes to roam villa!e lanes, not only .ith their heads and faces )ncovered b)t bared to the .aist on hot days, .itho)t re!ard for sho.in! their lon!1dry breasts. / had read yo)n!er ad)lts: vie.s of older .omen as havin! the po.er to limit a da)!hter1in1la.:s movements, to interfere .ith a son:s marital intimacies, and the likeN yet the older .omen / kne. spoke of feelin! that they .ere losin! in the contest for a son:s affection, loyalty, and favor. St)dies of /ndian .ido.hood rarely distin!)ished bet.een the conseG)ences of .ido.hood for a .oman in her yo)th and for a .oman past menopa)se, altho)!h / fo)nd strikin! differences. 9nd .hat of all the people .ho told me that older .omen .ere, in important .ays, 4like men,6 implyin! that .hat differentiates a 4man6 from a 4.oman6 is not constant over the life co)rse5 /n attemptin! to find .ays to think and .rite abo)t these competin! disco)rses on social practices, / fo)nd some le!itimation and !)idance in recent shifts in both anthropolo!y and feminist st)dies to.ard

vie.in! 4c)lt)re6 and 4.omen6 as m)ltivocal, contradictory, and inconsistent. / also came to realiAe that perspectives s)rro)ndin! a!in! in Ben!al co)ld be )sed to p)sh these theoretical innovations even f)rther and co)ld address on!oin! problems in o)r thinkin!, especially abo)t !ender and the body. H H H

C)'t)re+ ,ender+ and M)'ti%o(a'it&

(he concept of 4c)lt)re6 has had many identities. C)rrent anthropolo!ical disc)ssions reflect si!nificant chan!e over recent years, from a concept that stressed coherence and systematicity to one emphasiAin! hetero!eneity and open1endedness.?2@ /n the midOt.entieth cent)ry, d)rin! .hat many no. label as the 4modernist6 period, c)lt)re .as !enerally )nderstood as a more or less p)blicly shared, internally homo!eneo)s and distinctive system of patterns, symbols, or meanin!s.?#@ S)ch a perspective, critics no. ar!)e, ass)mes that all members of a c)lt)re more or less a!ree .ith each other, 2)st as people of one c)lt)re are also set off, )niG)ely different, from people of other c)lt)res.?$@ 9n ethno!rapher takin! s)ch a vie.point need not attend to the partic)lar voices, e7periences, and perspectives of specific members of a c)lt)re or society, since all ,pres)mably0 share in its val)es, visions, and .ays of thinkin!. 9s Ienato Iosaldo ,"D&D:#20 comments, 4/n this ?earlier anthropolo!ical@ tradition, c)lt)re and society determined individ)al personalities and conscio)snessN they en2oyed the ob2ective stat)s of systems. Jot )nlike a !rammar, they stood on their o.n, independent from the individ)als .ho follo.ed their r)les.6 S)ch critiG)es themselves are often e7a!!erated and oversimplified. Iobert Bri!htman ,"DD%:%$"0 points o)t .ith 2)stice, 4Jeither in earlier disciplinary history nor as deployed in recent anthropolo!ical .ritin! does the c)lt)re concept consistently e7hibit the attrib)tes of ahistoricism, totaliAation, holism, le!alism, and coherence .ith .hich its critics selectively reconstit)te it.6 /ndeed, some passa!es from leadin! 4modernist6 anthropolo!ists s)ch as Bronisla. +alino.ski or *d.ard Sapir so)nd as if they mi!ht have been .ritten today. +alino.ski asserted in "D2' ,p. "2"0 that 4h)man c)lt)ral reality is not a consistent lo!ical scheme, b)t rather a seethin! mi7t)re of conflictin! principles.6 /n "D#& Sapir concl)ded that anthropolo!y is concerned 4not .ith a society nor .ith a specimen of primitive man nor .ith a cross1section of the history of primitive c)lt)re, b)t .ith a $inite, tho)!h indefinite, num"er o$human "eings, .ho !ave themselves the privile!e of di$$ering $rom ea#h other not only in matters !enerally considered Pone:s o.n b)siness: b)t even on G)estions .hich clearly transcended the private individ)al:s concern6 ,Sapir "D$D:%'DOE0, Gtd. in Bri!htman "DD%:%##N my italics0. By the mid1"D'0s Mictor ()rner .as ar!)in! that 4?a symbol@ is alive only in so far as it is Ppre!nant .ith meanin!: for men and .omen, .ho interact by observin!, transgressing, and mani%ulating $or %ri&ate ends the norms and val)es that the symbol e7presses6 ,"D'E:$$, my italics0. -e are .itnessin!, then, not a total transformation or revol)tion b)t a chan!e in emphasis, a shiftin! of disc)rsive paradi!ms, in ho. .e think and talk abo)t anthropolo!ical analysis. Jonetheless, it is fair to say that coherence, totality, and systematicity did lar!ely characteriAe the vie. of c)lt)re and society / received in my early years of !rad)ate trainin! at the University of Chica!o in the mid1"D&0s. / remember !oin! into anthropolo!y to st)dy %eo%le ,havin! completed an )nder!rad)ate ma2or in reli!io)s st)dies that foc)sed more on te7ts, abstractions, and !eneralities than on real people:s everyday lives0. Several months into the reG)ired !rad)ate theory co)rse appropriately labeled 4Systems,6 ho.ever, / .rote a perple7ed letter homeN altho)!h / .as learnin! fascinatin! thin!s abo)t 4social .holes,6 4total social .holes,6 4social facts,6 4total social facts,6 4social str)ct)res,6 4social systems,6 4c)lt)res,6 and so on, / had yet to enco)nter any reco!niAable persons ,.ith )niG)e, diver!ent e7periences and perspectives0, or any of the ambi!)ities, contests, or messy ed!es that / tho)!ht socioc)lt)ral8human8life .as filled .ith.

/ .as to discover that many of my !eneration shared these concerns. By the late "D&0s, .hen / .as embarkin! on my dissertation research in -est Ben!al, /ndia, .orks be!an to appear that ar!)ed for the importance of heedin! partic)lar voices, lived e7periences, and contests. 9ct)ally, these paradi!m shifts be!an to emer!e even earlier, rooted in many of the theoretical innovations and endeavors of the "DE0s and early "D&0s. (he interpretive anthropolo!y of Clifford >eertA ,"DE#0 and Pa)l Iabino. ,"DEE0, for instance, be!an to emphasiAe that a c)lt)re is not a fi7ed and complete ,and entirely systematic, inte!rated0 .hole, b)t rather somethin! emer!ent and co1created in dialo!)e, both amon! members of a c)lt)re and bet.een informants and anthropolo!ists. (he practice theory of the late "DE0s and "D&0s ,e.!., Bo)rdie) "DEE, "DD0N <rtner "D&$0 .as also infl)ential in brin!in! the individ)al actor or person to center sta!e and emphasiAin! individ)al a!ency ,cf. ;na)ft "DD':"0%O$00. (he hi!hly infl)ential political philosophers +ichel Co)ca)lt ,e.!., "DED, "D&0b, "D&0c0 and 9ntonio >ramsci ,"DE"0 scr)tiniAed the inescapable technolo!ies of po.er that shape social relations and forms of kno.led!e. Ceminisms, !ay and lesbian liberation, and civil ri!hts movements also G)estioned the apolitical nat)re of c)lt)re and representation, alon! .ith anthropolo!y:s previo)s )niversaliAin! tendencies8makin! )s heed the 4differences6 of class, race, ethnicity, !ender, a!e, and se7)ality. By the late "D&0s, one co)ld say that postmodernism ,incorporatin! a mQlan!e of these perspectives0 had b)rst into anthropolo!y, brin!in! .ith it a profo)nd .ariness of !eneraliAations and totaliAin! theories, and emphasiAin! diver!ent perspectives, partic)larities, difference, and po.er. (heories of c)lt)re also had to accommodate the chan!in! demo!raphics of a contemporary transnational .orld. People, ideas, and !oods flo. no. .ith increasin! prof)sion and speed across borders, makin! any idea of a neatly bo)nded, separate, and )niG)e 4c)lt)re6 impla)sible.?%@ (his is tr)e in r)ral -est Ben!al ,.here BBC pro!rams play on the radio, O%rah is a favorite on television, and people, incl)din! social scientists, to)rists, and kin, come and !o across national borders0, 2)st as it is tr)e in Je. =ork City. 9s Br)ce ;na)ft ,"DD':$$0 p)ts it: 4C)lt)re is no. best seen not as an inte!rated entity, tied to a fi7ed !ro)p of people, b)t as a shiftin! and contested process of constr)ctin! collective identity.6 (his vie. of the fl)id, m)ltivocal, and contested nat)re of c)lt)re has in fact become so .idely accepted that, as *. Malentine Baniel ,"DD':#'"O'20 notes, 4Contestation itself has become a clichQ,F an obli!in! mannerism, part of a hi!her1order consens)s ?amon! anthropolo!ists@.6 =et s)ch a vie. does not imply that .e can no lon!er say that anythin! is shared or distinctive abo)t a c)lt)re. /n fact, some shared !ro)nd m)st e7ist even to make disa!reement, contest, and resistance meanin!f)l ,see chapter 2 and after.ord, and *. M. Baniel "DD':#'"0. Jonetheless, it is no lon!er tenable to think of c)lt)re as a neatly shared, stable, and bo)nded system. Iather, most see it no.8if they contin)e to accept the idea of c)lt)re at all ,see, e.!., 9b)1L)!hod "DD"08as an on!oin! process of creatin! collectivity o)t of the diver!ent and shiftin! perspectives and voices of those .ho make its conversations. 9ro)nd the same time that social theorists .ere refashionin! the concept of c)lt)re to incl)de the disparate voices and contests of its members, feminist theorists .ere endeavorin! to rethink, de1 essentialiAe, and fra!ment the concept of 4.oman.6 ?'@ (his .as not tr)e, ho.ever, .hen the anthropolo!y of .omen, or feminist anthropolo!y, first emer!ed in the early "DE0s. Consistent .ith the modernist tendencies of the times, early feminist anthropolo!ists had so)!ht !rand theories that co)ld ans.er ve7in! G)estions8in partic)lar, the basis for the 4)niversality6 of female s)bordination. (.o hi!hly infl)ential theories .ere those of +ichelle Iosaldo ,"DE$0 and Sherry <rtner ,"DE$0. *ach ar!)ed that the meanin!, shape, and val)e of bein! a 4.oman6 is profo)ndly variable ,and th)s not the res)lt of a simple, )niversal biolo!y0N nonetheless, certain )niversally fo)nd c)lt)ral phenomena, s)ch as .omen:s association .ith 4domesticity6 ,Iosaldo0 or 4nat)re6 ,<rtner0, res)lt in the s)bordination or deval)ation of .omen in all societies. (h)s, altho)!h ostensibly ar!)in! for variety, Iosaldo and

<rtner both posit a )niversal core or base definin! .omen, tied especially to notions of female physiolo!y, se7)ality, and reprod)ctivity. Beca)se .omen every.here menstr)ate and bear and raise children ,and are in other .ays associated .ith their bodies, se7)ality, reprod)ctivity, and domesticity0, .e can find a commonality to the notion of 4.oman6 cross1c)lt)rally and .e can discern an )nderlyin! lo!ic as to .hy .omen are every.here, in cr)cial .ays, s)bordinate to men. S)ch )niversaliAin! theories .ere not lon!1lived. (hey came )nder fire from Iosaldo ,"D&00 and <rtner ,"DD'0 themselves, as .ell as from others .ho critically reinterpreted the notion of a )niversal cate!ory of .omen by incorporatin! iss)es of race, nation, class, and se7)al orientation, as .ell as cybor! ima!ery.?E@ -omen, Chandra +ohanty ,"DD":%%0 ar!)es, cannot be ass)med to be 4an already constit)ted, coherent !ro)p .ith identical interests and desires, re!ardless of class, ethnic or racial location.6 <rtner ,"DD':"#E0 similarly .arns a!ainst the tendency to slip into an 4ass)mption that P.omen: in some !lobal and sociolo!ically )nG)alified sense really e7ist o)t there in the .orld, as a nat)ral class of ob2ects .ith their o.n distinctive attrib)tes.6 >ender theorists have no. come to reco!niAe that .hat it means to be a .oman ,and man8tho)!h to date this cate!ory has been less disc)ssed0 takes s)ch distinct shape in specific times and places, and alon! cr)cial a7es of difference ,most commonly listed as the m)ltiple racial, ethnic, class, and se7)al identities of .omen0, that it is not possible to hold )p a )niversal cate!ory of .omen .ith a pres)med common, essential si!nificance. C)rthermore, even .ithin a partic)lar time, place, social !ro)p, or individ)al, !ender identity is likely to be fl)id, partial, and fra!mentary. 9s a res)lt, methods of !ender analysis in anthropolo!y, like those of c)lt)ral analysis, have come to foc)s more and more on partic)larity, specificity of conte7ts, fl)7, and contradiction ,see 9b)1L)!hod "DD#N +oore "DD$:""O "20, .hile movin! a.ay from )niversaliAin! theories and !eneraliAations. 9nthropolo!y:s ne. emphasis on m)ltivocality, fl)idity, and hetero!eneity has certainly informed recent .ork on !ender in So)th 9sia. >loria Iahe2a and 9nn >old ,"DD$0, for instance, e7plore compellin!ly the m)ltiple perspectives evident in .omen:s son!s, stories, personal narratives, and everyday talk in r)ral north /ndia. 9!ainst scholarly representations that have portrayed the 4s)bmission ?of .omen@ to a monolithic Ptradition,:6 Iahe2a and >old ,"DD$:7viiiO7i70 ar!)e that, in fact, .omen:s speech reveals !reat hetero!eneity and resistance: 4-hen /ndian .omen represent themselves in their o.n .ords, no sin!le )nitary voice is heardN .e have only be!)n to listen to a fe. of these voices6 ,p. D0. /n their st)dy of 3ind) and +)slim .omen:s lives in north /ndia, Patricia and Io!er Leffery ,"DD':"DO200 similarly ar!)e that .omen in r)ral Bi2nor 4did not speak .ith a sin!le voice.6 (hey stress: 4?-@e haveFtried to avoid inventin! a sin!le reality o)t of the comple7 and ambi!)o)s realities of .omen:s daily lives.6 =et .hen / t)rned to this literat)re to try to )nderstand older .omen:s ,and men:s0 lives in +an!aldihi, / did not find all that / needed. 9ltho)!h the past t.o decades have seen a s)r!e of .ork on So)th 9sian .omen, very little has concerned the later years of .omen:s lives.?&@ Iahe2a and >old:s important st)dy ,"DD$0 does incl)de an en!rossin! narrative of 4a .ido. in her si7ties6 ,pp. "'$O&"0, b)t the .ork as a .hole foc)ses on the stories and son!s of yo)n!er sisters, .ives, and da)!hters1in1 la.. 9ltho)!h Leffery and Leffery make the cr)cial point that .omen:s positions and interests chan!e thro)!ho)t the life cycle ,"DD':20, their data are also concentrated on .omen in their childbearin! years, as their ori!inal research foc)sed on pre!nancy and reprod)ctive histories. Stanley ;)rtA:s en!a!in! st)dy ,"DD20 like.ise centers on ima!es of yo)n! .omen as mothers raisin! their children. (he many .orks concerned .ith iss)es s)ch as p)rdah, veilin!, modesty, marria!e, and se7)ality also pertain chiefly to yo)n!er .omen, altho)!h researchers rarely feel it necessary to ackno.led!e and e7amine the si!nificance of their foc)s.?D@ -hen an older .oman does fi!)re in st)dies of !ender in So)th 9sia, she appears most often as a villain ,s)ch as a domineerin! mother1in1la.0 in the story of a yo)n!er .oman .ho is the .riter:s

primary concernN or she is more !enerally a repository and enforcer of patrilineal kinship ideolo!ies, dominant social norms, and 4traditions6 ,cf. S. Mat)k "DD%:2D0N Lamb "DDEa0.?"0@ <f co)rse, .e sho)ld attend to the voices of yo)n!er .omen .ho do present older .omen ,and men0 in s)ch a .ay, voices that scholars have only recently be!)n serio)sly to listen to. Cor instance, Iahe2a and >old provide a rich collection of son!s from a yo)n! bride:s or da)!hter1in1la.:s perspective that sho. ho. yo)n! .ives can resist ideals of .ifely obedience to a h)sband:s older kin ,"DD$:"2"O$&0. <ne of many !ems is a dancin! son! s)n! by .omen !athered at home .hile the !room:s party is con!re!atin! at the bride:s natal villa!e ,p. "2E0: ?Bride speakin!@ 3o. can / come, ho. can / come near yo)5 3)sband, yo)r !randmother is very c)nnin!. She fi!hts .ith me and then p)ts her o.n cot do.n ne7t to o)r bed. ?3)sband speakin!@ Bea)tif)l one, take the s.ord from my hand. Come .avin! it, come brandishin! it, come near me. (he dr)m .ill so)nd, the cymbals .ill so)nd, they:ll so)nd the .hole ni!ht thro)!h. 9re yo)n!er .omen alone in resistin!, rebellin!, complainin!, offerin! alternative visions of family and social life5 Iahe2a and >old make the important observation that older .omen 'oin their yo)n!er da)!hters and da)!hters1in1la. in sin!in! these rebellio)s son!s, s)!!estin! perhaps .omen:s 4ironic apprehension of the oppressiveness of a kinship ideolo!y that splits their identities and pits one .oman a!ainst another6 ,"DD$:"$&0. B)t .hat .o)ld older .omen:s ,or men:s0 son!s and stories look like if they .ere the central characters and tellers of the tales5 3o. do they vie. the comin! of a yo)n! bride5 the marria!e of a da)!hter or a son5 their o.n chan!in! se7)ality5 approachin! mortality5 H H H

The Anthro*o'og& o$ Aging

<ne place to t)rn for insi!ht into these matters is .ritin!s on the anthropolo!y of a!in!. <ver the past t.o decades, interest in this ne. field has b)r!eoned forth in a series of edited vol)mes as .ell as n)mero)s book1len!th e7plorations of old a!e in this and other societies.?""@ =et even tho)!h this area of inG)iry has developed contemporaneo)sly .ith investi!ations into the hetero!eneo)s and fl)id nat)re of c)lt)res and !enders, the t.o have proceeded on parallel tracks. L)st as old people are often separated socially in the United States ,in old a!e homes and a!e1se!re!ated retirement comm)nities0, a!in! is also often separated theoretically in anthropolo!ical disco)rse and treated as a closed domain of inG)iry, isolated from broader G)estions abo)t ho. socioc)lt)ral .orlds are constit)ted more !enerally. (his tendency e7tends back to classic ethno!raphies ,before old a!e had become a pop)lar ob2ect of st)dy in its o.n ri!ht0, .here chapters on the 4life cycle6 often incl)ded s)bheadin!s s)ch as 4childhood,6 4ad)lthood,6 4old a!e,6 and so on b)t seldom )sed these descriptions as inte!ral parts of the analysis of other aspects of social life ,cf. ;eith and ;ertAer "D&$:2#O2$0.?"2@ Like.ise, anthropolo!ists concerned .ith the fl)id and contestatory nat)re of c)lt)res and !enders tend to overlook processes of a!in!. Contemporary st)dies of !ender, as .ell as other feat)res of social life, commonly list ,in a no. almost obli!atory practice0 race, class, !ender, ethnicity, se7)al orientation, and ,in /ndia0 caste as cr)cial distinctions that c)t across all !ro)psN b)t a!e is mentioned only rarely. (h)s many of the potential advanta!es that attention to a!e can brin!8by trainin! o)r !aAe on fl)7,

m)ltivocality, chan!e, and process8have been i!nored. +arilyn Strathern, in her st)dy of .omen and society in +elanesia, b)ilds on the feminist insi!ht that 4in dealin! .ith relations bet.een the se7es, one is dealin! .ith social relations at lar!e6 ,"D&&:#%0. / .o)ld e7tend this notion to o)r dealin!s .ith a!e. Social relations are 4a!ed6 2)st as they are !endered, tho)!h of co)rse the meanin!s and politics of a!e alter accordin! to c)lt)ral and historical conte7t. Processes of a!in! ,ho.ever defined0 c)t across all of o)r bodies and livesN they play a central role in ho. .e constr)ct !ender identities, po.er relations, and the .ider social and material .orlds .e inhabit8indeed, .hat it is to be a person. By overlookin! a!e, those in .omen:s st)dies and !ender theory have increased the diffic)lty of their task of theoriAin! abo)t the .ays .omen and men are constit)ted as !endered bein!s. /n her "D&% plenary session speech to the Jational -omen:s St)dies 9ssociation in Seattle, Barbara +acBonald char!ed that .omen:s st)dies has made invisible the lives of .omen over si7ty, havin! failed in the classroom to provide any feminist analysis of .omen:s a!in!: 43as it never occ)rred to those of yo) in -omen:s St)dies, as yo) i!nore the meanin! and the politics of the lives of .omen beyond o)r reprod)ctive years, that this is male thinkin!5 3as it never occ)rred to yo) as yo) b)ild feminist theory that a!eism is a central feminist iss)e56 ,"D&':2"0. (he brief references to st)dies in So)th 9sia have already sho.n ho. foc)sin! e7cl)sively on yo)n!er .omen tends to limit o)r )nderstandin! of the fl)ct)atin! and n)anced character of .omen:s lives. CreeAin! .omen:s lives in one sta!e8as .ives, da)!hters1in1la., or yo)n! mothers8is even more limitin! .hen .e consider the place of 4the body6 in recent anthropolo!ical and feminist theory. H H H

The -od& in ostmodern and Feminist Anthro*o'og&

-hen yo) !et old, everythin! becomes closed or stopped. (hat .hich happens bet.een h)sband and .ife stops. +enstr)ation stops. 9nd then .hen yo)r h)sband dies, eatin! all hot food stops as .ell. (his is so that the body .ill dry o)t and not be hot. <ver recent years anthropolo!y and feminist theory ,like the .ider academy0 have foc)sed intensely on the body, .ith ne. .orks po)rin! forth at a rapid pace: (he Woman in the Body ,*. +artin "D&E0, (he Body in the Mind ,Lohnson "D&E0, )ragments $or a *istory o$ the *uman Body ,Ceher "D&D0, Gender+Body+,nowledge ,La!!ar and Bordo "D&D0, Body and -motion ,Bes2arlais "DD20, Bodies (hat Matter ,B)tler "DD#0, Bodies and .ersons ,Lambek and Strathern "DD&0, Body (al/ ,Rita "DD&0, Body Image ,>ro!an "DDD0, and many more. / introd)ce briefly here some of the ma2or trends in o)r c)rrent theoriAin! abo)t the body, for / believe that Ben!ali ethno1theories of the body8the .ays many Ben!alis )se bodily ima!es and processes to define old a!e and !ender relations8can help )s address some of the problems in the c)rrent anthropolo!ical and feminist literat)re, .hich has tended to present 4the body6 as a reified, deconte7t)aliAed, someho. transhistorical and transc)lt)ral ob2ect. *mily +artin ,"DD20 e7plains this c)rrent s)r!e of attention by pointin! o)t that the body as .e have kno.n it ,d)rin! a Cordist era of mass prod)ction0 is bein! replaced by a ne. kind of body s)itable for late capitalism, the postmodern era of fle7ible acc)m)lationN it is precisely d)rin! s)ch times of transition, .hen phenomena are comin! to an end, that they dra. academic and p)blic attention. / .o)ld s)!!est instead that the body has become pop)lar in the h)manities and social sciences beca)se it is tan!ible, partic)lar, and located8a stone .e can to)ch, so to speak8amid the shiftin! sands of postmodernism ,cf. Lohn and Lean Comaroff "DD2:#DO$00. -hile the postmodern c)lt)ral theory of the past t.o decades has disco)ra!ed efforts to speak of !eneral, all1encompassin! ,modernist0 systems or principles, the body seems to provide a )niG)e vehicle for sit)atin! perspectives and !ivin! a partic)lar locatedness. Coc)sin! on the body becomes a .ay both to move a.ay from overarchin! totaliAations

and at the same time to provide somethin! apparently tan!ible, e7perienced, and 4real6 to han! on to and st)dy. S)san Bordo observes that in a Cartesian .orldvie. there is no place for the body, since the body, by sit)atin! and thereby relativiAin! any perspective, prevents the possibility of an all1 encompassin!, transcendent ,4 o"'e#t1ive60 perspective. Cor postmodern thinkers, in contrast, there is no escape from h)man perspective: 4(he body, accordin!ly, is reconceived.FJo lon!er an obstacle to kno.led!e?,@Fthe body is seen instead as the vehicle of the h)man makin! and remakin! of the .orld, constantly shiftin! location, capable of revealin! endlessly ne. Ppoints of vie.: on thin!s6 ,"DD0:"$#O $$N the G)otation refers to S)leiman "D&'0. Co)ca)lt:s e7tremely infl)ential analyses of the .orkin!s of po.er in modern society also foc)s on the body ,"DE#, "DE%, "DED, "D&0b, "D&0c0. Iather than treatin! po.er as an abstract force, he e7amines ho. forms of po.er are localiAed, inscribed on, and inflicted on individ)al bodies and pop)lations ,the social body0 as these bodies are controlled, re!)lated, and disciplined .ithin partic)lar prisons, asyl)ms, hospitals, psychiatrists: offices, and )niversities. +ichael Lackson, infl)enced by the earlier .orks of +a)rice +erlea)1Ponty ,"D'20 and Pierre Bo)rdie) ,"DEE0, similarly foc)ses on embodied practice and kno.led!e in social analysis. Lackson ,"D&D:""DO%%0 e7plains his foc)s on bodily movement and pra7is as a means of p)shin! a.ay from 4disembodied6 and abstract theories of c)lt)re, .hich he, like Bordo, sees as !ro)nded in the Cartesian split bet.een kno.in! s)b2ect and )nkno.in! inert body. 3e critiG)es his earlier 4bo)r!eois6 conception of c)lt)re8that is, 4as somethin! Ps)peror!anic,: somethin! separable from the G)otidian .orld of bodily movements and practical tasks6 ,p. "2'08and he ar!)es that in order to make anthropolo!ical disco)rse more consonant .ith the practices and interests of the people .e st)dy, .e m)st foc)s o)r ethno!raphic analyses on partic)lar body movements and practices, on the embodied character of lived e7perience as ha"itus ,pp. ""DO%%N cf. Bo)rdie) "DEE, "DD00. /n !ender and feminist theory as .ell, the body has played a leadin! b)t m)ch more ambivalent role. -hen social theorists developed the term 4!ender6 in the late "D'0s, they set it a!ainst 4se7,6 depictin! that .hich is socially or c)lt)rally constr)cted as opposed to that .hich is biolo!ically !iven ,cf. Jicholson "DD$:EDO&00. 3ere, the body fell into the domain of se7 and nat)re, .hile !ender .as a matter of c)lt)re. (oday, feminist theorists contin)e to see !ender ,i.e., beliefs and practices s)rro)ndin! male female distinctions0 as c)lt)rally constr)cted, b)t their positions diver!e re!ardin! the place of the "ody and se0 in relation to !ender. Cor some, the body f)nctions cr)cially ,as in postmodern anthropolo!y in !eneral0 in providin! a locatedness to abstract social theory and analysis ,e.!., Bordo "DD0:"$%N +arshall "DD'0. +any feminist theorists take the si!nificance of the body even f)rther, claimin! ,often s)btly or by implication only0 that .e need to reco!niAe the specifically $emale body in order to theoriAe abo)t .hat it is to be a .oman.?"#@ (his position can appear )nder different !)ises8biolo!ical determinism, biolo!ical essentialism, biolo!ical fo)ndationalism, or feminism of difference ,cf. Jicholson "DD$08 b)t in each case it is ass)med that real bodily, or biolo!ical, phenomena differentiatin! .omen and men are )sed in all societies ,tho)!h perhaps in varyin! .ays0 to shape a male female distinction. 3ere, the body and biolo!y are taken as the "asis on .hich c)lt)ral meanin!s of !ender are constr)cted. Linda Jicholson ,"DD$0 calls this a 4coatrack6 vie. of the body, as the body is vie.ed as the common base or coatrack on .hich different c)lt)ral artifacts of !ender are h)n!. <ne cr)cial advanta!e of s)ch a position is that it enables feminists to post)late both commonalities and differences amon! .omen. 9s Jicholson ,"DD$:&"0 p)ts it: 4?(he coatrack vie.@ enabled many feminists to maintain the claim often associated .ith biolo!ical determinism8that the constancies of nat)re are responsible for certain social constancies8.itho)t havin! to accept one of the cr)cial disadvanta!es of s)ch a position from a feminist perspective8that s)ch social constancies cannot be transformed.6 Claimin! the female body as a common !ro)nd broadly )nitin! the cate!ory of .oman

across histories and c)lt)res is also tho)!ht to s)pport feminism:s political pro!ram. +any ar!)e that )nless .e provide a clear basis definin! .hat it is to be a .oman ,transhistorically and transc)lt)rally0, then .e cannot !enerate a politics aro)nd this term ,e.!., Bo.ns "DD#N cf. Jicholson "DD$:DDO"000. (he body seems to provide 2)st that necessary common !ro)nd. /n these ar!)ments8not s)rprisin!ly, perhaps8the G)alities tho)!ht to distin!)ish .omen:s bodies s)rro)nd reprod)ction, motherhood, and se7)ality, G)alities !enerally associated .ith femininity in the -est. 9n eG)ally stron! co)ntervie. of the relationship bet.een the body and !ender in contemporary feminist disco)rse, ho.ever, is very .ary of any theory that depends on a prec)lt)ral or panc)lt)ral notion of the body to define .omen and !ender. (h)s <rtner ,"DD':"#E0 remarks: 4Personally, / tho)!ht the .hole point of feminism .as to brin! abo)t a sit)ation in .hich .omen .ere not seen as a nat)ral class of bein!, defined primarily by their bodies.6 +any are 2)stifiably resistant to ideas that seem to assert an )nalterable, essential female nat)reN critics often challen!e the ori!inal form)lation of the se7 !ender distinction, ar!)in! that the body, or se7, itself is %art of the social constr)ction of !ender. *ven .hen a social !ro)p reco!niAes distinctions bet.een male and female bodies, these are al.ays interpreted thro)!h a c)lt)ral lens. 9 society not only shapes beliefs and practices aro)nd .hat .e have become acc)stomed to label 4!ender,6 it also shapes the .ay the "ody appears and is interpreted8meanin! that the body ,and se70 can be best )nderstood to be %art of !ender.?"$@ 9s Co)ca)lt ,"D&0a, "D&0b0 has demonstrated, bodies have no 4se76 o)tside of disco)rses that define them as se7ed. (hese theorists believe not that the body necessarily becomes irrelevant to feminist analysis b)t simply that it cannot be held )p as a pre1 or transc)lt)ral !iven. /nstead it becomes, as Jicholson ,"DD$:"0"0 p)ts it, 4a historically specific variable .hose meanin! and import are reco!niAed as potentially different in different historical conte7ts.6 She pers)asively ar!)es: +ost societies kno.n to -estern scholarship do appear to have some kind of a male female distinction. +oreover, most appear to relate this distinction to some kind of bodily distinction bet.een .omen and men.F?B)t@ 4some kind of male female distinction6 and 4some kind of bodily distinction6 incl)de a .ide ran!e of possible s)btle differences in the meanin! of the male female distinction and of ho. the bodily distinction .orks in relationship to it.F/n short, .hile all of these societies certainly possess some kind of a male female distinction and also relate this distinction in some important .ay or another to the body, s)btle differences in ho. the body itself is vie.ed may contain some very basic implications for .hat it means to be male or female. ,p. D'0 (his brin!s me to .hat / .ant to say abo)t the body in relation to my .ork on a!in! and !ender in -est Ben!al. (hose / kne. in Ben!al )sed rich ima!ery of the body to define, practice, mana!e, and control processes of a!in! and of !endered identity. (hey .ere hi!hly body1 and material1oriented in their constr)ctions of social identity. 9!in! .as defined in +an!aldihi, for instance, lar!ely in terms of 4coolin!6 and 4dryin!,6 processes that .ere at once somatic and social, emotional, and spirit)al ,see chapters 2, $, and '0. Bominant disco)rses defined !ender identities, too, in terms of bodily nat)res: .omen .ere often spoken of as more 4open6 and 4hot6 than men ,somatically and socially08at least )ntil their postmenopa)sal and postmarital years, .hen their bodies became cooler and more self1 contained, and their practices and social identities in some .ays more 4like men:s6 ,chapters ', E0. 3o.ever, in strivin! to think and .rite abo)t this material, / fo)nd that m)ch contemporary theoriAin! abo)t 4the body6 in anthropolo!y and feminist disco)rse co)ld not .ork in Ben!al, beca)se many of the 4body6 theorists have failed to reco!niAe the historicity and c)lt)ral partic)larity of their o.n insi!hts. (akin! very specific *)ro19merican notions of the body and ass)min! these to be )niversally valid, they have tended to reify the body as an individ)al, material place8an isolable thin!. (his tendency, / sho)ld note, is one that e7tends back to the pioneerin! .ork of +ary Bo)!las ,"D'', "DE00,

.ho ass)med the body to be 4a model that can stand for any "ounded system6 ,"D'':""%, my italics0. <f co)rse, from a phenomenolo!ical point of vie., .e #an reasonably ass)me that all people more or less e7perience some sense of a )niG)e body1self ,+a)ss "D&% ?"D#&@0. B)t there are also many societies ,and some conte7ts .ithin o)r o.n society0 .here other perceptions, e7periences, and constr)ctions of the body are hi!hli!hted8ones that do not ,.holly or even predominantly0 ass)me the body to be local, tan!ible, bo)nded, stable, or individ)ally e7perienced, as c)rrent theoretical disco)rses on the body pres)ppose. Cor instance, as the follo.in! pa!es .ill sho., m)ch of .hat the Ben!alis in +an!aldihi perceived and disc)ssed as their 4bodies6 incl)ded .ider processes and s)bstances than those directly tan!ible or limited to their o.n bodily bo)ndaries. Properties of one person:s body e7isted in others: bodies, in the places they lived, and in the ob2ects they o.ned and handled ,chapter "0. /t may make more sense, then, to ass)me bodies to be ,like persons0 open, composite, and 4divid)al6 ,+arriott "DE'0. Ben!alis spoke of a body or person as materially and emotionally %art of other bodies, persons, places, and thin!sN a body .as said to belon! to a 4family6 ,sam!sr0 rather than to a sin!le person ,chapter 20.?"%@ +oreover, .hen they described the bodily chan!es that are part of a!in!8s)ch as coolin! and dryin! 8they .ere speakin! 2)st as m)ch abo)t social1relational processes as somatic ones: for to become cool and dry in the body means to become increasin!ly ,s)bstantially and socially0 self1contained and noninteractive ,chapters $, '0. So, altho)!h / believe that a foc)s on some form of locatedness and positioned s)b2ectivity is itself a sal)tary move in contemporary socioc)lt)ral theory, it may not be appropriate to ass)me that 4the body6 ,as a kind of prec)lt)ral materiality0 can provide )s this s)b2ectivity ,cf. (. ()rner "DD%N Pollack "DD'0. C)rthermore, the body is not 4male6 or 4female6 in any constant, transhistorical, or transc)lt)ral .ay, as pres)med in so m)ch feminist theory !ro)nded on a notion of female bodiliness. We certainly think abo)t !ender in terms of essential bodily differences bet.een the t.o se7es, in this partic)lar historical moment,?"'@ and th)s .e ,many 9mericans0 have !reat diffic)lty lookin! past s)ch an ass)mption. / find that the idea of the c)lt)ral constr)ction of gender ,as roles, beliefs, practices, etc.0 is easy for my st)dents to accept, b)t the notion that the "ody itself ,the .ays it is )sed to si!nify maleness and femaleness0 is also a c)lt)ral constr)ction r)ns into m)ch more resistance. (he .ays the Ben!alis in +an!aldihi )sed the body in their constr)ctions of !endered social identities partic)larly ill)minate this problem of the relationship bet.een body and !ender, partly beca)se !endered and bodily identities shifted for them in specific .ays d)rin! their lives. >ender .as not a constant determined by dichotomo)s physical differences bet.een .omen and men. (he Ben!alis / kne. definitely )sed the body to define !ender differences, b)t not in terms of a fi7ed, binary male female distinctionN instead, they often e7plained the biolo!ies of the t.o se7es in terms of differences in the relative amo)nts of G)alities, s)ch as 4heat6 and 4openness,6 that all bodies and persons possess. 9ll bodies ,male and female, yo)n! and old0 possess relative amo)nts of heat ,or coolness0, fl)idity ,or dryness0, and openness ,or bo)ndedness0. -omen, in !eneral, .ere commonly described as bein! more open and hot than men ,feat)res that distin!)ished their female !ender0. B)t these G)alities fl)ct)ated si!nificantly over the life co)rse, .ith important somatic as .ell as social, political, and spirit)al implications. -omen after p)berty, partic)larly d)rin! their married and reprod)ctive years, .ere taken to be the most 4hot6 ,garam0 and 4open6 ,/hol0, especially beca)se of their involvement in menstr)ation, marria!e, se7)ality, and childbirth8all processes tho)!ht to entail, for .omen, s)bstances !oin! into and o)t of the ,open0 body, as .ell as the 4heatin!6 properties of se7)al desire ,chapter '0. 3o.ever, as .omen .ent thro)!h the social and somatic processes of a!in! ,incl)din! menopa)se, the cessation of childbearin!, and .ido.hood0, they .ere seen as becomin! increasin!ly 4cool6 and 4dry,6 and th)s, in important .ays, 4like men68.hich bro)!ht them increasin! freedom of movement beyond the home and the options to participate in inner temple life,

.ear men:s .hite clothin! ,dhotis0, and e7pose the body ,chapters ', E0. /t is not that older .omen ever precisely "e#ome men. B)t it .o)ld be nonetheless hi!hly misleadin! to think here of .omen and men, femaleness and maleness, as binary, opposin! cate!ories, !ro)nded in )nchan!in! physical differences. By payin! attention to a!e any.here, .e co)ld train o)r !aAe on this kind of fl)7 in the .ays the body is )sed to create !endered identities. (he relatively fe. cross1c)lt)ral st)dies to date on !ender identities over the life co)rse have often fo)nd that .hat it is to be a .oman shifts si!nificantly in late life.?"E@ Cor instance, CitA Lohn Porter Poole describes ho. old, no lon!er married, and postmenopa)sal .omen amon! the Bimin1;)sk)smin of Pap)a Je. >)inea are tho)!ht to be ase7)al and of ambi!)o)s !ender, neither e7actly male or female b)t 4bet.i7t and bet.een6 ,"D&":""E0. (his andro!yno)s stat)s !ives older .omen rit)al and leadership opport)nities that yo)n!er .omen and men do not have. L)dith Bro.n ,"D&2, "DD20 and ;aren Brodkin Sacks ,"DD20 observe thro)!h s)rveys of cross1c)lt)ral data that later life is often a time in .hich a .oman has her !reatest po.er, stat)s, and a)tonomy, en2oyin! prero!atives that are often characteriAed as 4male.6 S)ch freedoms can come abo)t beca)se of a pres)med ase7)ality ,as in /ndia0, b)t in some societies8for e7ample, amon! the L)si of Pap)a Je. >)inea ,Co)nts "DD20, the >arif)na of the Black Carib ,;erns "DD20, and the S;)n! of so)thern 9frica ,Lee "DD2N Shostak "D&"08middle a!e brin!s e7panded freedom for .omen to 2oke abo)t se7)ality and to display se7)al interest, activities that are also often seen as 4male6 privile!es. -omen:s a!in! bodies can sometimes evoke more ne!ative associations8for instance, a sense of .anin! femininity, se7)ality, bea)ty, or social )sef)lness.?"&@ S)ch vie.s are especially common in reflections on a!in! and .omen in the United States ,see Chapkis "D&':%O#%N L. 9le7ander et al. "D&'0. (he diversity and richness of s)ch data on chan!in! ima!es of bodies and !enders reveal the profo)nd limitations in foc)sin! on only one life sta!e ,namely, the reprod)ctive phase0 in o)r theoriAin! abo)t .hat it is to be a 4.oman6 ,or a 4man60, as if !endered identity .ere essential and fi7ed. =et this relatively lar!e, interestin! set of ethno!raphic data on a!in! still has not been .idely incorporated into the level of !ender theory.?"D@ /t is strikin! that so m)ch !ender and feminist theory persists in foc)sin! on se7)al reprod)ction, motherhood, and the ho)sehold. 9s +icaela di Leonardo ,"DD":2'0 reports, even in the postmodern era 4Both feminist essentialists and conservative anti1feminists have contin)ed to dra. on the nineteenth1cent)ry storeho)se of moral motherhood symbolism, stressin! .omen:s innate identity .ith and n)rt)rance of children and nat)re.6 She adds, 4?Ceminists@ have fallen victim to the vision of an innately n)rt)rant, maternal .omankind6 ,p. 2E0. <rtner ,"DD':"#E0 similarly blames 4certain problematic directions in feminist theory, .hich concentrate heavily on female physiolo!y, se7)ality, and reprod)ctivity,6 for the on!oin! tendency to ass)me that 4P.omen: in some !lobal and sociolo!ically )nG)alified sense really e7ist o)t there in the .orld, as a nat)ral class of ob2ects .ith their o.n distinctive attrib)tes.6 /t has been easy for many feminist theorists to think of .omen ,transc)lt)rally and transhistorically0 in relation to reprod)ction and motherhood, lar!ely overlookin! postreprod)ctive life phases, beca)se that is ho. .e tend to define .omen .ithin o)r o.n dominant pop)lar c)lt)ral and medical disco)rses in the United States. +ar!aret Lock ,"DD#0 has done partic)larly ill)minatin! .ork in this area. She e7amines ass)mptions made in the basic scientific and medical literat)re, and in pop)lar .ritin!s, over the latter part of the t.entieth cent)ry on a!in! .omen in the United States. 9!in! .omen are !enerally represented as 4anomalies6 ,pp. 77ivO77vii0. Cor e7ample, t.o leadin! physicians .rite in an article addressed to specialists in !eriatrics, 4(he )npalatable tr)th m)st be faced that all postmenopa)sal .omen are castrates6 ,I. -ilson and -ilson "D'#:#$E, Gtd. in Lock "DD#:7vi, #$'0. 3elene Be)tsch, in her .sy#hology o$ Women ,"D$%0, professes: 4-omen:s capacity for reprod)ction normally lasts as lon! as menstr)ation is re!)lar. -ith the cessation of the f)nction, she ends her service to the species6 ,Gtd. in Lock "DD#:7iv0. By the "D'0s, menopa)se had been desi!nated as an estro!en 4deficiency disease,6 characteriAed by the fail)re of the ovaries to secrete the hormone taken

to be the 4essence6 of the female. (he barely concealed ass)mption )nderlyin! s)ch medical vie.s is that reprod)ction of the species is .hat female life is all abo)t ,p. 77vii0. /n medical research on menopa)se, the chemistry of .omen of reprod)ctive a!e is taken as the standard meas)re for .hat is 4normal6 and 4healthy,6 thereby markin! the a!in! female body as abnormal ,pp. 777iiO777iii0. (hese are pres)mably some of the reasons .hy menopa)se mana!ement and its spin1off, hormone replacement therapy, are c)rrently s)ch bi! b)siness in the United States8the only co)ntry in the .orld ,ind)strialiAed or not0 in .hich hormone replacement therapy is so .idespread. +any 9merican physicians recommend it to almost all their patients, in a seemin! attempt to keep .omen, in some .ay, 4yo)n!,6 4normal,6 and 4female.6 ?20@ -endy Chapkis ,"D&'0, .ho also incisively e7amines pop)lar 9merican c)lt)re, finds that altho)!h all people8men and .omen8fi!ht a!ainst the chan!es of a!e, it is .omen:s bodies especially that .e feel compelled to control and preserve, resistin! the 4chan!in! landscapes6 of time. S)ch pop)lar and scientific ass)mptions s)rro)ndin! a!in! .omen have permeated o)r theoriAin! abo)t !ender and the body as .ellN it becomes 4nat)ral6 for !ender feminist theory to center on female reprod)ctivity, as if this .ere the most si!nificant, sin!)lar dimension of .omen:s bodies and biolo!ies, and th)s, by e7tension, the cr)7 of their socioc)lt)ral identities, in all times and places. S)ch theories are ill)minatin! if .e )se them to e7amine o)r o.n val)es. ,/n this .ay, one can )se social theory as a .indo. into the belief systems and ass)mptions of those .ho prod)ce it.0 B)t these same theories can lead )s far astray if .e import them )nG)estionin!ly to the analysis of other times and places. /n addition, they perpet)ate .ithin o)r o.n society he!emonic norms, ne!atin! the identities and e7periences of those .omen .ho have chosen not to center their lives aro)nd reprod)ction. 9 foc)s on the body, or bodies, #an be provocative and enli!htenin!, then, if .e e7plore the specific and m)ltiple .ays the body ,and female and male bodies0 is f)rnished meanin! and si!nificance .ithin partic)lar c)lt)ral1historical conte7ts. /n this pro2ect, it is val)able to e7amine ho. variable c)lt)ral notions of the body serve specific interests .ithin societies: ho. relations of po.er may be e7perienced, implemented, contested, and ne!otiated by alternate .ays of speakin! abo)t and representin! the body ,cf. Lock and Scheper13)!hes "D&E, Scheper13)!hes "DD20. 3eedin! local meanin!s of the body may also necessitate movin! beyond o)r c)rrent preocc)pation .ith the body alto!ether. (h)s, / e7plore in the follo.in! pa!es the .ays specific representations of the body are )sed to define persons, a!in!, and !ender, b)t / am not ass)min! the body to be already present in some sense as a startin! point. 3ere / find 3enrietta +oore:s co)nsel to be val)able: 4/n fact,6 she .rites, 4/ .o)ld s)!!est for the time bein! that .e mi!ht be better .orkin! back to.ards se7, !ender, se7)al difference and the body, rather than takin! them as a set of startin! points6 ,"DD$:2E0. H H H

Li%ing in Manga'dihi
+ost of .hat / report here describes people of modest means and middle or hi!her 3ind) caste residin! in the center of the villa!e of +an!aldihi, .here / lived for a year and a half from "D&D to "DD0. +an!aldihi is located in -est Ben!al, /ndia, abo)t "%0 kilometers from Calc)tta, .here / had previo)sly lived and st)died lan!)a!e in "D&% and "D&' ,see map0. (he villa!e of some ",E00 residents and ##% ho)seholds comprised seventeen different 3ind) caste ,or 'ti0 !ro)ps, one nei!hborhood of +)slims, and one nei!hborhood of tribal Santals.?2"@

/ndia. Brahmans .ere reco!niAed as bein! the villa!e:s 4dominant6 caste, as meas)red by landholdin!s,

political clo)t, social mores, and the history of the villa!e. <ral traditions told that +an!aldihi had been fo)nded abo)t 2%0 years earlier by Brahmans carryin! fi!)res of the deities Syamcand and +adan >apal8forms of ;rishna8from Brindaban far to the east, to protect them from +)slim invaders. Brahmans still lived in the villa!e:s central nei!hborhoods, and the villa!e:s ma2or reli!io)s festivals still revolved aro)nd their ancient Maishnavite deities. Brahmans also o.ned the ma2ority of the villa!e:s land ,'0 percent0, altho)!h their landholdin!s had si!nificantly decreased over the past several decades )nder a series of !overnment land reforms.?22@ +ost of the villa!e:s Brahman families still s)pported themselves by farmin! ,rice .as the staple crop0, b)t only a handf)l of families o.ned more than ten acres of land. +ost s)pplemented their a!ric)lt)ral income by findin! salaried 2obs in nearby cities and to.ns, .orkin! as priests, or openin! small villa!e !rocery, tea, and video shops. J)merically, the Brahmans in +an!aldihi .ere 2)st abo)t matched by the Ba!dis, a lo.er or Sched)led Caste !ro)p occ)pyin! several villa!e nei!hborhoods.?2#@ (he Ba!dis .ere m)ch poorer than the Brahmans, o.nin! an avera!e of 2)st a bit more than half an acre of land per ho)sehold. (hey s)pported themselves mainly by .orkin! in Brahman ho)seholds, tillin! Brahman land, fishin!, and c)ltivatin! small plots of their o.n. Ba!di representatives al.ays sec)red several seats on the local %an#hyat ,!overnment representative system0, tho)!h, and they had a stron! c)lt)ral and political presence in the villa!e. (ables " to # list the other 'ti !ro)ps of +an!aldihi, their traditional and c)rrent occ)pations, and siAe of their landholdin!s. 9ltho)!h most in the villa!e did have eno)!h to eat, very fe. .ere .ealthy, and many families had to str)!!le to !et by. (here .as a !eneral feelin! of scarcity and .ant in the villa!e, .hich clearly seeped into the .ays people str)ct)red and e7perienced their family relationships, their processes of a!in!, and the kinds of 2ealo)sy and bonds of maya, affection, and love that / describe in the follo.in! pa!es. ". LTtis of +an!aldihi by J)mber and <cc)pation N)mber o$ Traditiona' O(()*ation O(()*ation in Manga'dihi 0o)seho'ds D% 9!ric)lt)ral laborer,fisher &$ #$ 2# 22 "% "$ "$ "0 ' # Priest (ribal C)ltivator Leather.orker, m)sician, dr)mmer <il presser 9!ric)lt)ral laborer (ribal Ieli!io)s mendicant Betel n)t c)ltivator -asherman 9!ric)lt)ral laborer, fisher, servant, co. tender Lando.ner, priest, salaried 2ob, shopkeeper 9!ric)lt)ral laborer <.ner c)ltivator, a!ric)lt)ral laborer, shopkeeper 9!ric)lt)ral laborer, m)sician, dr)mmer <.ner c)ltivator, shopkeeper, salaried 2ob 9!ric)lt)ral laborer 9!ric)lt)ral laborer <.ner c)ltivator, shopkeeper,salaried 2ob <.ner c)ltivator, shopkeeper, salaried 2ob -asherman, o.ner c)ltivator

./ti Name Ba!di?U@ Brahman Santal +)salman ,+)slim0 +)ci?U@ ,or Bayen0 ;)l) Ba)ri?U@ ;ora Baisnab ,or Baira!ya0 Bar)i Bhoba?U@

./ti Name 3ari?U@ Japit Bene S)ri?U@ Bhatri?U@ ;armakar?U@ Sad!op S)tradhar

N)mber o$ 0o)seho'ds # # 2 2 " " " "

Traditiona' O(()*ation +id.ife, dr)mmer Barber +erchant LiG)or maker +id.ife Blacksmith C)ltivator Carpenter

O(()*ation in Manga'dihi 9!ric)lt)ral laborer Barber, o.ner c)ltivator Shopkeeper,salaried 2ob, lando.ner Shopkeeper, liG)or maker, o.ner c)ltivator 9!ric)lt)ral laborer Blacksmith, o.ner c)ltivator <.ner c)ltivator Carpenter, o.ner c)ltivator

;*=: U LTtis classified by the !overnment as Sched)led Caste. U LTtis classified by the !overnment as Sched)led Caste. 9!ric)lt)ral laborer (hose .ho c)ltivate the land of others b)t o.n no ,or very little0 land of their o.n ,see also table #0 <.ner c)ltivator (hose .ho o.n and c)ltivate their o.n land. Lando.ner (hose .ho o.n land b)t do not c)ltivate it themselves. 2. Bistrib)tion of Landholdin!s in +an!aldihi, "DD0 Size of Holding (acres) Nu !er of Households Landless V" "1% %1"0 "01"% "%120 W 20 ""% &# &E #D E $ 0 #. Bistrib)tion of Landholdin!s in +an!aldihi by Lati A%erage $otal Land Nu !er of Landholding 'ercent of total (illage Held Households (acres &er Land (in acres) household) &$ "% 2# D% ' "0 2 $0' 'D %' %# #' "# "2 $.& $.' 2.$ 0.' '.0 ".# '.0 %&.$ D.D &." E.' %.2 ".D ".E

"#ti Na e Brahman ;)l) +)salman Ba!di Bar)i Baisnab Bene

"#ti Na e S)ri +)ci Sad!op Japit Bhoba Santal ;ora Ba)ri ;armakar S)tradhar Bhatri

Nu !er of Households 2 22 " # # #$ "$ "$ " " "

$otal Land Held (in acres) "2 "" E ' $ $ # " " " 0

A%erage Landholding (acres &er household) '.0 0.% E.0 2.0 ".# 0." 0.2 0." ".0 ".0 0

'ercent of total (illage Land ".E ".' ".0 0.D 0.' 0.' 0.$ 0." 0." 0." 0.0

3ari " 0 0 0.0 /t .as in a Brahman nei!hborhood that / settled, in the m)d h)t8nearly abandoned8of a .ealthy Brahman family .ho had since moved to an ad2acent three1story brick ho)se. (hey later invited me to move into an )pstairs room of that ho)se. So it .as almost inevitable that / became closest to the villa!e:s Brahman comm)nity, and it is their voices that fi!)re in the follo.in! pa!es most saliently. / also spent a !ood deal of time in Ba!di nei!hborhoods, and / strove to interact .ith and !ather data from members of each of +an!aldihi:s other caste and ethnic !ro)ps. / often fo)nd a hi!h de!ree of variation in the .ays the different castes or 'tis of +an!aldihi practiced and perceived matters of !ender and a!in!, distinctions that / hi!hli!ht .hen especially relevant. +y research foc)sed on older .omen and men. / often fo)nd them han!in! o)t at temples, on roadsides, and in the co)rtyards of their homes, relatively free from the .ork that so en!rossed most of their yo)n!er ad)lt kin. -e spent ho)rs to!ether talkin! abo)t life, family relations and str)!!les, fears and hopes s)rro)ndin! death, memories of childhood and romance, c)rrent television dramas, the problems of poverty, the s)fferin!s of .omen, and the chan!in! nat)re of modern society. / so)!ht o)t men as m)ch as / did .omen, for 4!ender6 ,one of the problems / .as most interested in0 m)st, / believe, incl)de .omen and men. /ndeed, !ender st)dies done in So)th 9sia have !enerally been .eakened by the relative dearth of attention paid to men. /n the field of !ender st)dies, 4!ender6 has been )sed lar!ely as a code for 4.omen.6 ?2$@ -omen and men are eG)ally !endered bein!s, ho.ever, and neither can be )nderstood in isolation from the other and from the broader social .orlds in .hich !ender identities are constit)ted. <ne of my main aims in han!in! o)t .ith these older .omen and men in +an!aldihi .as to !ain a sense of their voices, lived .orlds, and everyday e7periences. La.rence Cohen ,"DD&0 has .ritten a fascinatin!, masterf)l acco)nt of constr)ctions of old a!e and senility amon! families and instit)tions in the /ndian city of Maranasi, and more !enerally in /ndia:s !erontolo!ical and pop)lar c)lt)ral te7ts. Perhaps partly beca)se he is foc)sin! on senility, Cohen lar!ely omits old people:s own voices and e7periences. ,Senile, or in Maranasi parlance 4.eak1brained6 or 4hot1minded,6 old people are pres)mably el)sive informants.0 / have taken +an!aldihi:s older people themselves as key s)b2ects, as / have scr)tiniAed ho. they envisioned, practiced, and e7perienced their o.n a!in!, embodiment,

family relationships, !rapplin!s .ith love and maya, and everyday lives in the .orld. B)t since / myself .as a yo)n!er .oman, recently married, in my late t.enties and early thirties, / also spent a !ood deal of time .ith my 4peers,6 yo)n!er )nmarried and recently married .omen. +y closest daily companion .as 3ena, a yo)n! .oman in her mid1t.enties .ho married d)rin! my time in +an!aldihi. She shared a room and sin!le pillo. .ith me every ni!ht )ntil her marria!e, tellin! me of villa!e !ossip, her concerns and dreams, and her o.n visions of older people. Jei!hborhood !irls and boys also cro.ded into my room daily, sharin! tea and snacks .ith meN and the yo)n!er .ives in the nei!hborhood, .hen they co)ld free themselves from .ork, .o)ld also make some time for me8as .e perhaps bathed to!ether, or took a trip to to.n to b)y a sari, or stopped to make a c)p of tea in the still afternoon .hile others .ere takin! their naps. / also learned a !reat deal from these yo)n!er people, .hich hi!hli!hted for me the ambi!)ities, m)ltiple perspectives, and shiftin! meanin!s inherent in .hat it is to be a .oman, a man, and a person in this comm)nity of -est Ben!al. / concentrate here on these competin!, ambi!)o)s perspectives, and especially on the .ays in .hich the .omen and men / kne. made and remade their social .orlds and !endered identities as they moved thro)!h the latter phases of their lives. 9ltho)!h / .ent to /ndia and +an!aldihi to seek o)t their stories in the p)rs)it of .ritin! a dissertation and then a book, many of these older people also so)!ht me o)t as a listener. (hey called to me as / passed, climbed the three fli!hts of stairs to my home, or tapped me on my arm, sayin! 4=o) haven:t taped my life story yet,6 4=o) m)st .rite this do.n,6 4Bid yo) !et that in yo)r notebook56 / hope that the follo.in! pa!es are tr)e to their tr)st in me to artic)late my sense of their e7periences, and )nderstandin!s, of their o.n lives and the lives of their nei!hbors.

Notes
". (he fe. st)dies of a!in! incl)de Bis.as ,"D&E0N Cohen ,"DD2, "DD%, "DD&0N 3iebert ,"D&"0N Ioy ,"DD2 ?"DE2@:"2%O$&0N and S. Mat)k ,"DE%, "D&0, "D&E, "DD0, "DD2, "DD%0. 2. See 9b)1L)!hod "DD", "DD#N Bri!htman "DD%N Clifford "D&', "D&&N *. M. Baniel "DD'N ;na)ft "DD'N Iahe2a and >old "DD$:"O2DN and I. Iosaldo "D&D. #. See >eor!e Stockin! ,"DE'0 for an incisive look at the !ro.in! systematicity of the c)lt)re concept d)rin! the inter.ar period ,"D2"O$%0. Bavid Schneider ,"D'&, "DE'0 provides a partic)larly vivid e7ample of the systematicity and internal coherence of c)lt)re d)rin! a some.hat later period of 9merican c)lt)ral anthropolo!y, assertin!, for instance: 49 c)lt)re is a total systemN it does not have loose ends and )ninte!rated pieces and parts that do not artic)late .ith other parts. /t holds to!ether as a meanin!f)l system6 ,"DE':2"D0. $. Critics of modernist approaches incl)de 9b)1L)!hod ,"DD", "DD#:'O"%0 and Said ,"DE&0. 9ppad)rai ,"DD2:#%O#'0 has characteriAed this traditional vision of c)lt)re as a 4mode of tho)!ht6 that 4incarcerates6 the native in a fi7ed 4.ay of thinkin! that admits no f)AAy bo)ndaries and is splendid in its internal consistency6 ,cf. Iahe2a and >old "DD$:20. %. <n the increasin!ly fl)id bo)ndaries of c)lt)re, see 9ppad)rai "DD'N >)pta and Cer!)son "DDEN 3annerA "DD#, "DDEN and ;earney "DD%. '. Postmodern analyses of .omen form a vast literat)re, b)t some important .orks incl)de 3ara.ay ,"DD00, +inh1ha ,"D&D0, +ohanty ,"DD"0, +oore ,"DD$0, <rtner ,"DD'0, Iiley ,"D&&0, Loan Scott ,"D&&0, and Spelman ,"D&&0. E. -orks critical of early feminist anthropolo!y incl)de 3ara.ay ,"DD00, hooks ,"D&$0, +ohanty ,"DD"0, <rtner ,"DD'0, Iich ,"D&'0, Loan Scott ,"D&&0, and Spelman ,"D&&0.

&. Jotable e7ceptions to the lack of interest in older .omen incl)de S. Mat)k ,"DE%, "D&E, "DD2, "DD%0, +arriott ,"DD&0, Ioy ,"DD2 ?"DE2@:"2%O"$&0, and -adley ,"DD$:2%O2D, "DD%:D&ODD0. +enon and Sh.eder ,"DD&0 consider <riya 3ind) .omen:s 4mat)re ad)lthood6 ,.hat .e mi!ht term 4middle a!e60, or %rauda. D. <n p)rdah, se7)ality, etc., see, e.!., Bennett "D&#N B)be "D&&N Cr)AAetti "D&2N Leffery, Leffery, and Lyon "D&DN and Papanek and +ina)lt "D&2. "0. / am str)ck by ho. often media reports and pop)lar disc)ssions ,in Calc)tta, +an!aldihi, and the United States0 on the recent intensification of do.ry ,or bride0 b)rnin!s in /ndia claim .itho)t evidence that the mother1in1la. is primarily responsible for the m)rders. /f tr)e ,and more research on the G)estion is needed0, it is hard to believe that she .as actin! alone. Cor more on do.ry b)rnin!s, see >hadially and ;)mar "D&&N >rover "DD0N ;)mari "D&DN Jandy "DD%N Stone and Lames "DDEN and van -illi!en and Channa "DD". "". Cor edited vol)mes e7plorin! a!in!, see 9moss and 3arrell "D&"N Cry "D&0, "D&"N ;erns and Bro.n "DD2N ;ertAer and ;eith "D&$N +yerhoff "DD2N +yerhoff and Simic "DE&N and Sokolovsky "D&D. Cor book1len!th .orks, see Cohen "DD&N Co)nts and Co)nts "DD'N 3aAan "DD$N ;a)fman "D&'N ;eith "DEEN Lock "DD#N +yerhoff "DEDN Plath "D&0N Iasm)ssen "DDEN and Mesperi "D&%. Cor revie.s of m)ch of this material, see Cohen "DD$ and ;eith "D&0. Cor a related edited vol)me on middle a!e, see Sh.eder "DD&. "2. *7ceptions to the tendency to compartmentaliAe st)dies of the old are most common in research on societies .here a!e stratification is a hi!hly marked dimension of social or!aniAation. 9nthropolo!ists st)dyin! s)ch societies in 9frica and central BraAil have often bro)!ht analyses of a!e to a societal level ,see, e.!., +ayb)ry1Le.is "DEDN La Containe "DE&N Spencer "DE'N (. ()rner "DEDN +. -ilson "D'#0. 3)!h1Lones ,"D&&0 also attempts to inte!rate her analysis of the f)ll life cycle .ith analyses of other domains of socioc)lt)ral life. "#. (he ar!)ments emphasiAin! the specifically female body are G)ite variedN see, e.!., Braidotti "DD"N Ci7o)s "D&"N >allop "D&&N ;risteva "D&0N Iich "DE'N and S)leiman "D&'. Cor disc)ssions of this kind of ar!)ment, see +oore ,"DD$, esp. pp. "EO2"0 and Jicholson ,"DD$0. "$. <n the body as !endered, see, e.!., B)tler "DD0, "DD#N Jicholson "DD$N and Loan Scott "D&&, "DD#. "%. 3enrietta +oore:s observations ,"DD$:##0 are relevant here: 4(he idea of persons as divisible, partible and )nbo)nded has no. !ained a certain acceptance in the discipline ,see, for e7ample, +arriott, "DE', and Strathern, "D&&0, b)t there is still considerable resistance to any s)!!estion that the body mi!ht not be the so)rce of identity, or that e7perience ,both of self and of the .orld0 is not al.ays possessed by or located in an interior self.6 "'. <n o)r thinkin! on the relationship bet.een body, se7, and !ender, see Co)ca)lt "D&0a, "D&0bN LacG)e)r "DD0N and Jicholson "DD$. "E. <n !ender identities over the co)rse of one:s life, see, e.!., >)tmann "D'$, "DD2N 3a.kes, <:Connell, and Lones "DDEN ;erns and Bro.n "DD2N Poole "D&"N Iasm)ssen "D&EN and S. Mat)k "DE%, "D&E, "DD2. "&. <n ne!ative chan!es in the female body, see, e.!., Beyene "D&D:"2$N Boddy "DD2N Chapkis "D&'N Copper "D&'N 3ealey "D&'N and ;a)fert and Lock "DD2. "D. Some biolo!ical anthropolo!ists have be!)n to attempt to incorporate postmenopa)se into e&olutionary theories. (h)s recent .ork by 3a.kes, <:Connell, and Lones ,"D&D, "DDE0, based on a st)dy of the 3adAa h)nters and !atherers of northern (anAania, s)!!ests that postmenopa)sal .omen are stron!er and are able to .ork harder than almost all others in the comm)nity, as they !ather food

and .ood and care for !randchildren. 3a.kes, <:Connell, and Lones hypothesiAe that there may be an evol)tionary advanta!e to menopa)se, .hich ens)res that .omen live lon! eno)!h to help their children bear and s)pport children ,cf. I. 9le7ander "DE$N >a)lin "D&0N Lancaster and ;in! "DD2N P. +ayer "D&20. (his perspective marks a break from that of other evol)tionary theories, .hich have often presented menopa)se as a p)AAlin! anomaly: .hy .o)ld .omen live beyond their reprod)ctive years, .hen they have ostensibly completed their service to the species5 20. Cor a similar look at menopa)se and hormone replacement therapy in 9)stralia, see ;lein and B)mble "DD$. 2". See Lamb "DD#:#$O%# for a more detailed acco)nt of +an!aldihi:s history, political economy, and social str)ct)re. 22. /n "D%#, the -est Ben!al state !overnment passed an estates acG)isition act that aimed to abolish the 1amindari system of lar!e reven)e1collectin! lando.ners and to redistrib)te land to the landless ,Bas) and Bhattacharya "D'#0. (he Bar!adars 9ct of "D%0, and more recent reforms in the late "DE0s, also imparted ri!hts to landless "argdrs, or sharecroppers .ho c)ltivate the land of others. Beca)se of these reforms, Brahmans in +an!aldihi commonly state .ith some cha!rin that the 4a!e ,yuga0 of the Brahmans6 has passed. +any of the villa!e:s lo.er1caste families do see themselves as better off than their forebears, altho)!h most have not come near to !ainin! the kind of economic sec)rity that )pper1caste families in the re!ion !enerally en2oy. 2#. /n fact, there .ere more ho)seholds of Ba!dis than Brahmans ,table "0. B)t Brahman and other hi!her1caste families in +an!aldihi tended to maintain lar!er ho)seholds ,remainin! more often 42oint60 than did lo.er1stat)s and landless families. Cor these reasons, my cens)s fi!)res indicate that co)nted individ)ally, Brahmans sli!htly o)tn)mbered Ba!dis. 4Sched)led6 is an official !overnment classification of disadvanta!ed castes and tribes. 2$. (en! ,"DD':"$#O$$0 makes this same point re!ardin! the eG)ation of 4!ender6 .ith 4.omen6 in !ender st)dies in the *ast 9sian field.

12 ersons and Fami'ies

12 ersonhoods
H H H

Entering a Net o$ Ma&a in Manga'dihi

/ arrived in +an!aldihi G)ite by chance. / had landed in /ndia at the end of Becember "D&&, an7io)s to be!in research. / had tho)!ht / .o)ld foc)s on a r)ral comm)nity or villa!e, .here it mi!ht be easier for me to !et to kno. a .ider variety of people, since villa!ers .o)ld tend to be less enclosed than city d.ellers .ithin the .alls of their o.n homes and .orkplaces. Several restless .eeks slipped by in Calc)tta and then in the sophisticated )niversity to.n of Santiniketan .hile / so)!ht s)!!estions abo)t a specific location. (o most of the Ben!ali city and to.n people / met, villa!es ,grm0 .ere distant, almost forei!n places that elicited nostal!ia.?"@ 9ncestral connections mi!ht lie there or the roots of one:s identity ,Calc)tta schoolchildren reportedly had to compose an ann)al essay on 4+y Milla!e60. B)t many times / .as told that / co)ld not possibly li&e in one. / co)ld perhaps visit a villa!e on a bicycle, b)t if / .ere to live there8/ .o)ld certainly !et sick, perhaps even die, and definitely s)ffer. / finally met a fe. people .ho still had family or ancestral homes in villa!es that they visited re!)larly.

<ne of these .as +anik Baner2i, .ho .orked as a schoolteacher near Santiniketan and .hose mother:s brother lived in a lar!e villa!e called +an!aldihi abo)t thirty kilometers a.ay. (he relationship .ith a mother:s brother ,mm0 is a very special one for Ben!alis, f)ll of pamperin! and s.eetness. <ne can ask one:s mother:s brother for almost anythin!, and he is e7pected to ind)l!e the reG)est. So .hen +anik Baner2i .rote a letter of introd)ction for me to his mother:s brother in +an!aldihi askin! this man to help me o)t in any .ay he co)ld, +anik Baner2i ass)red me ,.ith a !lint in his eye0 that his mm .o)ld s)rely obli!e. 3e !ave me directions to the villa!e and ho)se: a cro.ded b)s ride to the to.n of Par)i and then a lon! cycle ricksha. ride past rice fields and small villa!es to the siAable villa!e of +an!aldihi, .here / co)ld not miss his )ncle:s three1story brick home, the lar!est ho)se in the villa!e. 9nd s)re eno)!h, the mother:s brother, B)lal +)kher2ee, !enero)sly a!reed to let me live in his compo)nd, on the second floor of his family:s old and little1)sed m)d ho)se, above a dark and little1)sed doctor:s office, .here my landlord kept a store of vario)s medicines. 9nd so / .as introd)ced to +an!aldihi, .here / .as to become ca)!ht )p in .hat / .o)ld later learn to call the 4net of maya,6 or .eb of attachments, affections, 2ealo)sies, and love that in Ben!alis: eyes make )p social relations. /t be!an on my first ni!ht in +an!aldihi .hen a yo)n! .oman from the nei!hborhood, 3ena, came to sleep .ith me and be my companion. <r perhaps it be!an earlier that day, .hen / visited +an!aldihi briefly, accepted a !lass of s)!ar .ater ,2ar"at0 in B)lal +)kher2ee:s home, and a!reed to live in his nei!hborhood. Ben!alis re!ard maya as bein! formed thro)!h the everyday activities of sharin! food, to)chin!, sleepin! in the same bed, havin! se7)al relations, e7chan!in! .ords, and livin! in the same home, in the same nei!hborhood, or on the same villa!e soil. (hese attachments link people ,family, friends, nei!hbors0, as .ell as people and the places, animals, and ob2ects that make )p their .orlds. 9nd once bonds of maya are formed, Ben!alis often say, they are very diffic)lt to loosen. / learned this first thro)!h my relationship .ith 3ena, the person .ith .hom / developed the most intimate ties. +y landlord and nei!hbors decided that / sho)ld have a companion to sleep .ith at ni!ht and to sho. me aro)nd, so they sent me an )nmarried yo)n! .oman in her early t.enties from a poor Brahman family in the nei!hborhood. 9t once a yo)n!er sister and companion, she soon became a research assistant, a confidante, and a dear friend. 9fter a fe. .eeks .ent by, ho.ever, / decided that / needed to have at least a little time and space to myself ,separation bein! val)ed by 9mericans0, and / s)!!ested to 3ena that she let me sleep alone at ni!ht, that / needed the time to st)dy and .as not afraid of the villa!e !hosts. 3ena b)rst o)t .eepin!, 4=o):re tryin! to Pc)t: ,/t!0 the mayaS 3o. .ill / live .itho)t yo)5 / .on:t be able to bear it.6 So she remained my daily and ni!htly companion, as .e cooked to!ether and shared food, my sin!le pillo., and confidences. (he people in the +)kher2ee ho)sehold and nei!hborhood also protested vehemently .hen, after abo)t si7 months, / attempted to move into a lar!er, more comfortable home to prepare for my h)sband:s arrival. +y nei!hbors and my landlord:s family .o)ld not have me movin! into .hat .as technically a different nei!hborhood, altho)!h the ho)se .as literally only a stone:s thro. a.ay: 43o. can yo) 2)st c)t the maya like that and move5 =o):ll become an Pother person: ,%arer lo/0.6 9nd / .as del)!ed .ith milk, fish, s.eets, visits, and pleas to pers)ade me and stren!then o)r bonds, so that / co)ld not leave. Crom the very be!innin! of my stay in +an!aldihi )p )ntil the end, / heard a contin)al refrain8even after 2)st one shared c)p of tea, or a brief conversation on the roadside84<h, it is so sad that yo) have come, for yo) .ill have to leave a!ain. 3o. .ill .e c)t this maya .hen yo) leave5 +aya cannot be c)t.6 9nd one day Sankar, a .ell1ed)cated yo)n! Brahman man from +an!aldihi, sat do.n ne7t to me on the b)s as / .as on my .ay to shop at the market in a nearby to.n and said: 4(here is one Ptra!edy: ?he )sed the *n!lish .ord@ abo)t yo)r comin! here. (hat is that yo) .ill have to leave. =o) m)st be hearin! a lot abo)t this. Ben!alis hate separations. (hey feel so m)ch maya for everythin!. =o) kno.

maya5 <nce there is a relationship ,sam%ar/a0, they .ant to keep it stron! ,2a/ta0. (hey .ant everyone to be to!ether al.ays.6 People .o)ld also chide me, 4=o):ve 2)st come here to ca)se maya to !ro. and then !o a.ay.6 3)man relationships for +an!aldihians involved not only bonds of maya, attachment or affection, b)t also him!s, 2ealo)sy. <n one of my first e7peditions to +an!aldihi / sat behind a +)slim ricksha. driver pedalin! alon! the narro. paved road past fallo. .inter rice fields. 9s he !aAed at the landscape he said to me, 4Birbh)m ?the district +an!aldihi lies in@ is the best place in the .orld. *veryone here kno.s each other and everyone loves each other.6 3is .ords made me feel e7ceedin!ly l)cky to have happened on s)ch a place: / looked aro)nd, .ith the .inter s)n .arm on my face and arms, and admired the !entle hills )nd)latin! into the distance. Jo. his statement seems even more strikin!, beca)se it .as the only one of its kind that / heard. +)ch more freG)ently, / heard abo)t and e7perienced the pervasive him!s in the re!ion:s villa!es. People .o)ld tell me, 4Ben!alis are a very 2ealo)s people ,"ngl3r /hu" him!sute 't0.6 9nd the people of +an!aldihi tho)!ht that they .ere even more 2ealo)s than other Ben!alis. / certainly e7perienced 2ealo)sy in +an!aldihi, .hich seeped into almost everythin! / and other people did8as people ,especially .omen0 bickered and ar!)ed abo)t .ho !ave more tea, rice, s)!ar, snacks, money, fish, land, photos, saris ,on loan0, attention, and so on to .homN .ho .as favored, .ho .as notN .ho .as loved most, .ho .as not. / often .ondered to myself, near despair, if they co)ld be ri!ht abo)t the !eneral disposition of +an!aldihiansN and if so, why had / chosen this villa!e5 B)t it takes a certain amo)nt of intimacy to be involved in s)ch str)!!les, and so / finally realiAed that the intense 2ealo)sies / often enco)ntered .ere d)e in part to my privile!ed position. Bein! in some .ays one of their o.n people ,ni'er lo/0, / .as inevitably embroiled in the tan!les ,'at!0 of 2ealo)sy and .ants and !ivin!s and receivin!s and affection and love that Ben!ali relationships entail. By the end of my stay in +an!aldihi, the people of the villa!e had indeed finally be!)n to vie. me as one of them8for they .orried less abo)t their pain and t)!s of maya than abo)t mine. People .o)ld say .ith compassion, a!ain and a!ain over the .eeks before my depart)re, 4-e have maya for only one person8yo)8.ho .ill leave and ca)se )s pain. B)t ho. m)ch more pain .ill yo) s)fferS Cor yo) have maya for all of )s, and .ill have to leave all of )s.6 (hey vie.ed me as in the center of a 4net6 ,'l0 of maya, holdin! m)ltiple strands that / had !athered d)rin! my ei!hteen months there8bonds of affection and attachment for all of the people of the villa!e, and also for all of my thin!s: the ho)sehold items / had collected and lived .ith over a year and a half, my saris, my conch shell ban!les ,a si!n of a married .oman0, my taste for Ben!ali food ,ho. .as / !oin! to !et by .itho)t eatin! lu %osta, potatoes .ith poppy seed paste, a re!ional favorite50, the villa!e deities, the villa!e land. 3o. .o)ld / be able to c)t the maya for all of these people, places, and ob2ects and leave5 / came to vie. the .ays people reacted to and interpreted my relatively brief and inconseG)ential stay in +an!aldihi as an aven)e to.ard )nderstandin! ho. Ben!alis think abo)t and e7perience the formin! and loosenin! of social1s)bstantial relations in their o.n daily lives. /ndeed, / fo)nd my comin! and !oin! to be partic)larly relevant for )nderstandin! practices and attit)des that s)rro)nd a!in! and dyin!. Cor if the people / kne. felt that it .o)ld be so e7ceedin!ly diffic)lt for a person like me to leave +an!aldihi after residin! there for only a n)mber of months, .hat happens .hen a person .ho has lived for years and years .ith a family, in a villa!e, on a piece of land, .ith all of his or her possessions, has to take leave of them all and die5 <ver and over a!ain, this .as a .orry / heard e7pressed by older people, and by yo)n!er people contemplatin! their o.n f)t)re. H H H

O*en ersons and S)bstantia' E3(hanges

S)ch concerns abo)t maya and a!in!8the formin! and loosenin! of emotional relations over a lifetime 8speak also to Ben!ali notions of .hat it is to be a person. 9 principal theme in socioc)lt)ral st)dies of So)th 9sia over the past several decades has been the investi!ation of So)th 9sian notions of .hat a 4person6 or 4self6 is.?2@ Several of these st)dies have foc)sed on the fl)id and open nat)re of persons in /ndia. (his insi!ht .as first voiced by +c;im +arriott ,"DE'0, .ho .ith Ionald /nden ,+arriott and /nden "DEE0 pointed to everyday /ndian practices reflectin! the ass)mption that persons have more or less open bo)ndaries and may therefore affect one another:s nat)res thro)!h transactions of food, services, .ords, bodily s)bstances, and the like. +arriott and /nden, .ho described the /ndian social and c)lt)ral .orld as one of partic)late 4flo.in! s)bstances,6 s)!!ested that /ndians vie. persons in s)ch a .orld as 4composite6 and hence 4divid)al6 or divisible in nat)re. By contrast, *)ropeans and 9mericans vie. persons as relatively closed, contained and solid 4 individ)als6 ,see also +arriott "DD00. *. Malentine Baniel ,"D&$0 similarly emphasiAed that amon! (amils, all thin!s are constit)ted of fl)id s)bstances. /n perpet)al fl)7, these s)bstances have an inherent capacity to separate and mi7 .ith other s)bstances. (h)s it is possible8indeed, inevitable8for persons to establish inters)bstantial relationships .ith other people ,se7)al partners, ho)sehold and villa!e members0 and .ith the places ,land, villa!e, ho)ses0 in and .ith .hich they live. S)ch s)bstantial mi7in!s point to .hat Baniel has called 4the c)lt)ral reality of the nonindi&idual person.6 (hey reveal the 4fl)idity of enclos)res6 in (amil concept)al tho)!ht, .hether those be the bo)ndaries of a villa!e, the .alls of a ho)se, or the skin of a person ,"D&$:D, his italics0. Ionald /nden and Ialph Jicholas ,"DEE0 described similar personally transformative transactions amon! Ben!alis, .ho to form kinship relations partly share and e7chan!e their bodies by means of acts s)ch as birth, marria!e, sharin! food, and livin! to!ether ,e.!., pp. "#, "EO"&0. Crancis Rimmermann ,"DED, "D&00 and S)dhir ;akar ,"D&2:2##O#$0, too, fo)nd notions of the fl)id and s)bstantially interpenetrative nat)re of persons, !ods, places, and thin!s in 9y)rvedic te7ts and practices. Rimmermann in partic)lar emphasiAed that the body in 9y)rveda e7ists in a state of fl)idity or snehat&. (he body is composed of a net.ork of channels and fl)ids, .hich flo. not only .ithin the body b)t also amon! persons and their environments ,Rimmermann "DED0. /n +an!aldihi, / first enco)ntered a notion of persons as relatively open and )nbo)nded as manifest in .hat is called 4m)t)al to)chin!6 ,#h4y#h5yi0. (he people / kne. .ere concerned abo)t .hom and .hat they to)ched beca)se to)chin! involves a m)t)al transfer of s)bstantial G)alities from one person or thin! to the ne7t. /nitially, / sa. their concern most clearly in the mana!ement of 4imp)rity6 ,a2uddhat0 in daily life.?#@ 3i!h1caste 3ind)s avoided to)chin! lo.1caste 3ind)sN 3ind)s avoided to)chin! +)slims or tribal SantalsN people of all castes freG)ently avoided to)chin! those .ho .ere in states of 4imp)rity6 beca)se of recent activities ,e.!., defecatin!, visitin! a hospital, or handlin! a dead body0N persons abo)t to make a rit)al offerin! to a deity avoided to)chin! any other person at all. (o be s)re, people often to)ched one another in the co)rse of their daily affairs. B)t .hen they did, each considered that s)bstantial properties from the other had permeated his or her o.n body, and the person .ho .as in the 4hi!her6 or more 4p)re6 position .o)ld often feel it necessary to bathe to rid him1 or herself from the effects of the contact. (here are many forms of #h4y#h5yi. (o)chin! can take the form of simple bodily contact, as .hen a person to)ches another:s arm .ith her hand or br)shes into another on a cro.ded b)s. /t also occ)rs .hen t.o people to)ch an ob2ect at the same time, s)ch as .hen a person hands a pen or a photo or a c)p of tea to someone else, or .hen t.o people sit on the same bench or mat at the same time. (he ob2ects in s)ch cases cond)ct s)bstantial G)alities bet.een the t.o people. +an!aldihi villa!ers told

me that the only material that does not act as a cond)ctor in this .ay is the earth ,mt!i0, incl)din!, as a kind of e7tension of the earth, the m)d or cement floors of ho)ses and co)rtyards. (h)s, to avoid to)chin! and the e7chan!es of s)bstance that to)chin! entails, people often refrained from handin! ob2ects to each other directlyN instead, one placed an ob2ect on the !ro)nd for the other to pick )p, or dropped an ob2ect into another:s o)tstretched hands. People themselves, like ob2ects, act as conveyors or cond)ctors of contact8so that t.o people .ho to)ch another person at the same time also to)ch each other. C)rthermore, )nlike ob2ects, people !enerally retain the effects of to)ch: if someone to)ches one person and then ,.itho)t bathin!0 another, this second person is considered to have been to)ched as .ell by the first. /t took many conf)sed days and a.k.ard e7periences for me to learn abo)t ho. to)chin! .as conceived as part of social interaction in +an!aldihi. People .ere constantly tellin! me that / had to)ched someone 4lo.6 ,ni#u0 or 4imp)re6 ,a2uddha0 and therefore needed to bathe .hen /, .ith my definition of .hat constit)tes to)chin!, failed to see ho. / had to)ched anyone at all ,and felt no need to bathe in any case0. / have a partic)larly vivid memory of visitin! +an!aldihi:s +)slim nei!hborhood for the first time, accompanied by my companion, 3ena. <n o)r .ay back to the Brahman nei!hborhood .here .e lived, 3ena told me that .e .o)ld both have to bathe. 4-hy56 / asked. 4Beca)se .e to)ched +)slims.6 4Jo .e didn:t,6 / protested, 4-e didn:t to)ch anyone .hile .e .ere there.6 4=es .e did,6 she insisted, 4-e .ere sittin! on the same mat .ith them, .eren:t .e.6 4 (hat6s not to)chin!S6 / e7claimed. 4=es it isN of co)rse it isS6 4-ell, .e don:t consider that to)chin! in my co)ntry,6 / retorted. 9 little fed )p after a lon!, hot day, and partic)larly dist)rbed by the implied pre2)dice that the act of bathin! entailed, / let slip my )s)al anthropolo!ical stance of attemptin! to soak in information .itho)t challen!e. 4-ell, here,6 she said as she reached o)t and to)ched my )pper arm, 4 I to)ched them and no. / to)ched yo), so no. yo) have to)ched them too, and yo) have to bathe.6 / also e7perienced, especially d)rin! my first fe. months in +an!aldihi, many people .ho avoided to)chin! me8a non13ind) and therefore in their eyes potentially very poll)tin! indeed. / visited the home of an elderly Brahman .ido. several .eeks after / had moved into the villa!e in order to !ive her a photo that / had taken of her !randson. She stretched o)t her palms to receive it, in a !est)re .hose meanin! .o)ld have been obvio)s to any villa!er: she did not .ant to be to)ched by me. She .as reG)estin! that / drop the photo into her open palms .itho)t makin! contact .ith her. B)t / only later )nderstood the !est)reN at the time, / naively placed the photo directly into her hands, thereby )n.ittin!ly contaminatin! the .oman by my to)ch and makin! it necessary for her to !o a!ain to the pond to bathe. Some forms of interpersonal e7chan!es have m)ch more lastin! and e7tensive effects than the relatively brief forms of bodily contact or to)chin! described above, effects that cannot be removed simply by bathin!. 9ccordin! to r)ral Ben!alis, .hen a person cooks, for instance, his or her G)alities and bodily s)bstance permeate the cooked food and are therefore absorbed by those .ho eat it. People .ho eat the same food to!ether at the same time and in the same location ,as in persons served in the same ro. at a feast0 also share s)bstantial G)alities .ith each other. /t becomes obvio)s .hy people in most parts of /ndia, incl)din! +an!aldihi, are so concerned abo)t .hose food and .ith .hom they eat: in sharin! food, they also share the s)bstance, nat)re, and G)alities of those .ho prepare, serve, and partake in it. (he people / kne. vie.ed food leavin!s8food that had been to)ched .ith the saliva ,ll0 of the eater 8as also hi!hly permeated .ith the eater:s s)bstance. Leftovers, alon! .ith boiled rice, are considered to be e7to, a term that refers specifically to food items that have become very hi!hly permeated .ith the s)bstances of those .ho have cooked, handled, and eaten them. People .ere very caref)l and selective abo)t .hose e7to they .o)ld to)ch or in!est. -ives .o)ld eat their h)sbands: e7to ,b)t often not vice

versa0, servants .o)ld eat their employers: e7to foods and .ash their e7to dishes ,b)t definitely not vice versa0, and close sisters or mothers and da)!hters .o)ld often share and trade e7to food .ith each other. (he condition of bein! e7to also spreads easily from a hand that has to)ched the mo)th ,either directly or via an ob2ect, s)ch as a c)p or eatin! )tensil0 to other persons and ob2ects. -hen / drink a c)p of tea, for instance, my mo)th to)ches the tea c)p, .hich to)ches my handN and th)s my hand becomes e7to. /f / .ish to prevent the e7to from spreadin! to other ob2ects and persons, / m)st G)ickly .ash it. / tried hard to re!)late s)ch practices, .ashin! my hand after any eatin! or drinkin!, b)t in the eyes of my nei!hbors / .as clearly not fastidio)s eno)!h. (hey .o)ld tease me that my .hole ho)se and everythin! in it had become e7to, that people concerned .ith p)rity and maintainin! separateness from others ,s)ch as Brahman .ido.s0 sho)ld not even set foot into my home. B)t a more serio)s breach in my cond)ct, a more reckless spreadin! of bodily s)bstances, came m)ch earlier, before people .ere comfortable eno)!h .ith me to tease and criticiAe me abo)t my .ays8on my second visit to +an!aldihi, before / had moved to the villa!e. 3ena had taken me to her home, .here she and her yo)n!er sister .ere eatin! their noon meal aloneN their parents .ere a.ay. 3ena offered me a little bit of their rice and e!! c)rry, and / accepted. -hen she stood )p to clear a.ay the dishes, / tho)!ht / .o)ld be helpf)l ,in the 9merican style0 and / picked )p my dish and placed it on the stack that she .as holdin!. -itho)t sayin! anythin! at the time, she .ent do.n to the pond to .ash them. B)t .hen / ret)rned to +an!aldihi the ne7t day, she b)rst into tears and told me that several nei!hbors had seen her handle my e7to dish and told her that they .o)ld not be able to to)ch her. / felt horrible for her. /t .as of co)rse entirely my fa)lt, for / had carelessly placed my dirty, saliva1covered dish in her hands .itho)t !oin! to .ash it myself ,or at least leavin! it on the !ro)nd, .here she co)ld have inconspic)o)sly later called for a lo.1caste person to take it a.ay0. 9nd her !enerosity and open1 heartedness to.ard me had ca)sed her to be slandered and ostraciAed by her nei!hbors. 9t the same time, / .as also s)rprised by ho. )ncomfortable, embarrassin!, and even stin!in!ly painf)l it felt to learn that other people fo)nd me literally )nto)chable. 9fter / left +an!aldihi that day / .ent to speak .ith Lamph)l, an older Santal tribal .oman .ho .orked in my landlady:s home in the to.n of Santiniketan. She .as at first indi!nant .hen / told her abo)t the incident, sayin! 4-hy5 -hy didn:t yo) 2)st ask them8:9m / poor like yo)5:68an interestin! response, revealin! ho. she ,like many in +an!aldihi0 perceived real stat)s and po.er to come from possession of money, .hich can in some .ays even transform 'ti or caste hierarchies. (hen she added compassionately, 4/t makes yo) feel bad ,/hr%0, doesn:t it5 /t makes yo) feel ill at ease ,a2nti0.6 She herself e7perienced )nto)chability all the time as a Santal, and like many lo.er1caste and Santal people in the re!ion she fo)nd )pper1caste concerns .ith rank orderin! and imp)rity )n2)st and h)rtf)l. +arriott ,"DE'0, Baniel ,"D&$0, and others .ho have looked at s)ch interactions have termed the properties that are felt to be transferred amon! people 4s)bstance,6 translatin! an incl)sive Sanskrit term ,dra&ya0 for somethin! that is treated as material, tho)!h it is not necessarily visible. Cor .ant of a better .ord, / too sometimes )se this broad term. B)t the Ben!alis / kne. did not )se any specific eG)ivalent .ord or phrase. -hen they disc)ssed the effects of to)chin!, it .as simply clear that somethin! .as transferred bet.een persons8that persons, after to)chin!, shared somethin! ,parts of themselves, their G)alities, their bodily s)bstance0 .ith each other. (his transfer formed part of their taken1for1!ranted, commonsense .orld, and in o)r conversations abo)t ho. to)chin! .orks, .hat constit)tes to)chin!, and the effects of to)chin!, they co)ld not believe that / did not vie. to)chin! in the same .ay. 4(o)chin!6 ,or #h4y0 simply means a m)t)al contact that has a lastin! effect on persons involved, so that the s)bstance of each is chan!ed by the other. <nly the most insi!nificant kinds of to)chin! ,i.e., brief e7ternal bodily contacts0 have effects that can be ended .ith bathin!. <thers, s)ch as eatin! to!ether, handlin! another:s e7to, livin! in the same ho)se, se7)al interco)rse, and marria!e,

have more permanent effects. (hey for!e real bonds of relation8sam%ar/a, 4relation,6 4bodily connections6N or my, 4attachment,6 4affection68amon! persons, .ho come to share somethin! f)ndamental. Iankin! in !eneral, partic)larly the rankin! of 'tis, or castes, has lon! been taken ,partic)larly by *)ropean observers, as s)mmariAed by B)mont "D&0a0 as the most distinctive dimension of /ndian society. (h)s ethno!raphies s)ch as those by 9drian +ayer ,"D'00 and +arriott ,"D'&0, as .ell as analyses s)ch as +arriott and /nden:s ,"DE$, "DEE0, foc)sed on asymmetrical transfers of food, .ater, and bodily s)bstances ,hair, saliva in food leavin!s, feces, menstr)al blood, etc.0 amon! castes. Lo)is B)mont ,"D&0a0 treated s)ch transfers as reflectin! an other.ise fi7ed vertical hierarchy of 4p)re6 and 4imp)re6 castes, .hile +arriott ,"D'&0 and +arriott and /nden ,"DE$0 vie.ed transactions as contin)ally creative of caste ranks. +arriott ,"DE'0 later analyAed intercaste transactions as also creatin! a second, horiAontal dimension of 4mi7in!6 or alliance, and >loria Iahe2a ,"D&&0 a third one of 4a)spicio)sness6 or centralityN b)t all earlier vie.s of transactions had stressed only the differentiation of caste ranks. /, too, initially fo)nd that the most strikin! and obvio)s dimension of the e7chan!es practiced by people in +an!aldihi pertained to 'ti or caste hierarchy and partic)larly the mana!in! of 4imp)rity6 ,a2uddhat0 thro)!h avoidance. B)t as the days and months .ent by, / came to realiAe that an even more important and pervasive dimension of the open and )nbo)nd nat)re of persons in +an!aldihi had to do .ith seekin!, c)ltivatin!, and intensifyin! mi7in!s .ith kin, loved ones, friends, nei!hbors, thin!s, and places. 3ena .as the first to seek s)ch mi7in!s .ith me. 9fter / had been in +an!aldihi for several .eeks, she be!an re!)larly to come over to my home to trade and mi7 some of her food .ith some of mine. 3ena:s mother .o)ld often make rut!i ,flat bread0 for me and / .o)ld cook rice for 3ena. (hen .e .o)ld trade ve!etables .ith each other and eat side by side. +y landlord:s yo)n! da)!hter, Chaitali, .o)ld freG)ently do the same, r)shin! over after their family:s meal .as prepared .ith a plate of rice and cooked ve!etables to trade and mi7 .ith some of mine. 9nd after t.o yo)n! sisters from the nei!hborhood became my cooks, they .o)ld eat all their meals .ith me and often r)sh to clear a.ay my e7to dish or .ipe the place .here / had been eatin!. / sa. also ho. in their o.n homes, .omen in partic)lar .o)ld trade rice and food, eat off others: plates, finish one another:s e7to leftovers, and ea!erly call children to them to feed them food from their o.n plates .ith their o.n hands. Parents, too, .o)ld clean a.ay their children:s )rine, e7crement, and m)c)s .itho)t .orryin! abo)t s)fferin! any kind of bodily imp)rity. 9nd as / .ill disc)ss in chapter 2, Ben!alis defined the relations of children .ith their a!ed parents in important part by describin! ho. children clean )p parents: )rine and e7crement lovin!ly and .itho)t complaint .hen they have become incontinent in old a!e and a!ain after death. Camily and kinship ties in +an!aldihi ,as thro)!ho)t Ben!al0 .ere perceived as created and s)stained thro)!h vario)s kinds of bodily and other mi7in!s, sharin!s, and e7chan!es ,see also /nden and Jicholas "DEE0. People of the same 4family6 .ere said to 4share the same body,6 as sa%in!d!as: a .ord formed from %in!d!a, 4body particle6 or 4ball of rice,6 and sa, 4shared6 or 4same.6 Sa%in!d!as are people .ho share the same %in!d!as, or body particles, passed do.n from common ancestors, as .ell as people .ho offer to!ether the same rice balls to the same ancestors. Camilies .ere also constit)ted by e7chan!in!, sharin!, and mi7in! via all sorts of other media, s)ch as food ,especially rice0, ho)ses, and blood ,ra/ta0. +an!aldihi villa!ers often referred to their families as those .ho 4eat rice from the same pot6 ,e/i h7rite /hi0. (hey also called the members of their families gharer lo/ or 4ho)se:s people.6 (hey spoke of the 4p)ll of blood6 ,ra/tar t!n0 that they share .ith parents and siblin!s, and of the 4p)ll6 ,t!n0 they have for their mother beca)se they drank her breast milk ,"u/er dudh0 and .ere carried in her .omb ,nr!30.

(h)s social relations of kinship and friendship, as .ell as of 'ti, relied on daily !ivin!s and receivin!s. / fo)nd that people in +an!aldihi b)ilt bo)ndaries and avoided contact less often than they so)!ht to become parts of each other8thro)!h sharin! and e7chan!in! their bodily s)bstances, food, possessions, .ords, affections, and places of residence. (his resonates .ith .hat +ar!aret (ra.ick .rites of (amil ho)seholds, .here mi7in! ,/alattal,maya//am0 .as vie.ed as a !oal and pleas)re in and of itself8one to be celebrated and rene.ed daily, and ta)!ht and learned as a val)e ,"DD0b, esp. pp. &#O&E0. (hese kinds of e7chan!es res)lt in .hat r)ral Ben!alis often refer to as maya, the 4net6 ,'l0 of bodily1emotional 4ties6 ,"andhan0, 4p)lls6 ,t!n0, or 4connections6 ,sam%ar/a0 that make )p people and their lived1in .orlds. S)ch a vision of persons as open and partly constit)ted by .hat comes and !oes also informed people:s conceptions of !ender differences over the life co)rse. +any spoke of .omen as bein! even more 4open6 ,/hol0 than men, especially d)rin! their married and reprod)ctive years. (his not only made .omen v)lnerable to imp)rities or )n.anted s)bstances from o)tside ,as .ere also the lo.er castes, several e7plained, comparin! .omen to S)dras0N it also !ave .omen the hi!hly val)ed capacities to receive a h)sband:s seed and prod)ce a childN to mi7 .ith, n)rt)re, and s)stain a family ,see chapter '0. People in +an!aldihi like.ise e7pressed the ambivalences and transitions of a!in! by referrin! to chan!es in the fl)id and open nat)re of their bodies and personhoods. 9!in! .as tho)!ht to involve sim)ltaneo)s, contrary p)lls in the kinds of ties that make )p persons. <n the one hand, these ties .ere felt to !ro. more n)mero)s and intense as life !oes on. <n the other hand, a!in! .as tho)!ht to involve the diffic)lt .ork of takin! apart the self or )nravelin! ties, in preparation for the many leave1 takin!s of death ,see chapter $0. H H H

St)d&ing ersons Cross4C)'t)ra''&

+elford *. Spiro ,"DD#0 takes e7ception to the findin!s of several anthropolo!ists, incl)din! notable So)th 9sianists ,Sh.eder, Bo)rne, B)mont, and +arriott0,?$@ .ho have s)!!ested that .hile many non1-esterners de1emphasiAe individ)ality, -esterners vie. persons lar!ely as bo)nded or a)tonomo)s individ)als. Spiro:s article .as stim)lated by another article on the self by t.o social psycholo!ists, e7pert on Lapan ,+ark)s and ;itayama "DD"0, .ho approvin!ly cite Clifford >eertA:s celebrated characteriAation of this -estern conception as 4a rather pec)liar idea .ithin the conte7t of the .orld c)lt)res6 ,>eertA "D&#:%D, Gtd. in Spiro "DD#:"0E0. 9ccordin! to >eertA, -esterners see the person as a 4bo)nded, )niG)e, more or less inte!rated motivational and co!nitive )niverse, a dynamic center of a.areness, emotion, 2)d!ment and action or!aniAed into a distinctive .hole and set contrastively a!ainst other s)ch .holes and a!ainst its social and nat)ral back!ro)nd6 ,"D&#:%D0. /f s)ch a conception of the person as bo)nded is cross1c)lt)rally 4pec)liar,6 then other ,4non1-estern60 people m)st vie. persons to be relatively not bo)nded. (his premise8.hich is precisely .hat >eertA, and after him 3aAel +ark)s and Shinob) ;itayama, does imply8is challen!ed by Spiro. / .ill briefly take )p Spiro:s key ar!)ments here, beca)se / believe that Ben!ali ethno1theories of persons can effectively resolve some of Spiro:s con)ndr)ms. Coc)sin! his ar!)ment on the s)pposed bo)nded1)nbo)nded ,-esternOnon1-estern0 dichotomy, he be!ins by .onderin! .hat it co)ld mean to be relatively )nbo)nded as a person. +ark)s and ;itayama ,"DD":2$%0 observe that in the case of many 4non1-estern6 selves, 4others are incl)ded within the bo)ndaries of the self6 ,Gtd. in Spiro "DD#:"0&0. Spiro responds, 4(his propositionFstr)ck me as stran!e, beca)se it seemed incomprehensible8.hat co)ld it mean to say that others are incl)ded .ithin the bo)ndaries of myself56 ,pp. "0&OD0.

(he ans.er to this G)estion rests in lar!e part on .hat Spiro, +ark)s and ;itayama, and other scholars mean by the terms 4self6 or 4person.6 Spiro entertains briefly the notion that +ark)s and ;itayama co)ld be referrin! to the self as the psychobiolo!ical or!anism, bo)nded by the skin. S)ch a self #ould be permeable to 4others68for e7ample, microor!anisms or !erms that penetrate the body to ca)se disease, or spirits that possess an individ)al. 3o.ever, s)ch bo)ndary crossin!s entail only impermanent and abnormal conditions, and Spiro therefore concl)des that ethno!raphers .ho describe notions of )nbo)nded selves co)ld not be )sin! the term 4self6 ,or 4person60 to denote the psychobiolo!ical or!anism. (he more likely referent, he believes, is some psycholo!ical entity: an e!o, a so)l, or an 4/.6 B)t .e still have a problem, Spiro insists, beca)se all those .ho believe that others are incl)ded .ithin the bo)ndaries of their psycholo!ical self .o)ld have little, if any, 4self1other differentiation.6 (hat is, they .o)ld lack 4the sense that one:s self, or one:s o.n person, is bo)nded, or separate from all other persons6 ,"DD#:""00. Since all people m)st be able to differentiate themselves from others, they m)st think of themselves as bo)nded and separate from all other persons. (his, he ar!)es, is a 4distin!)ishin! feat)re of the very notion of h)man nat)re6 ,p. ""00.?%@ (hese ar!)ments !ive rise to several interestin! G)estions. Cirst, consider the self as a psychobiolo!ical or!anism. Clearly an )nbo)nded psychobiolo!ical self mi!ht entail a broader ran!e of possibilities than invadin! !erms or possessin! spirits. *ven in the scant material from r)ral -est Ben!al that / have presented so far, it is evident that the Ben!alis / kne. vie.ed the sharin! and e7chan!in! of bodily and other s)bstances8not only .ith other people b)t also .ith the places in .hich they live and the thin!s that they o.n and )se8as vital to the .ays they think abo)t and define themselves and social relations. Parts of other people, places, and thin!s become part of one:s o.n body and person, 2)st as parts of oneself enter into the bodies and th)s the persons of others. Ben!alis vie.ed s)ch e7chan!es as neither abnormal nor temporary ,tho)!h some are more or less desired, more or less lastin!0, b)t rather as an elemental part of everyday life and practice. (his does not mean that the Ben!alis / kne. co)ld not differentiate themselves psycholo!ically from others8they, like all people, percept)ally perform self1other differentiation. B)t / see no reason for Spiro:s ass)mption that the ability to differentiate one:s conscio)sness from others is dependent on a notion of the self as 4bo)nded, or separate from all other persons.6 3e conflates a sense of personal identity .ith that of personal bo)ndaries: either people vie. themselves as perfectly bo)nded and separate, or they lose all capacity to differentiate themselves from others. <ne can, like the Ben!alis / kne., have a clear sense of a differentiable self that in#ludes bodily and emotional ties .ith others. /ndeed, these ties make )p the very st)ff of .ho and .hat a ,distinct and differentiable0 person is. C)rthermore, Spiro:s added ar!)ment that 3ind) and B)ddhist theories of karma prove that there can be no 4)nbo)nded6 3ind) or B)ddhist selves seems eG)ally mis!)ided. 9s Spiro describes it, the 3ind) and B)ddhist theory of karma holds that every livin! person is the reincarnation of myriad past selves and that any person:s c)rrent and f)t)re incarnations are the karmic conseG)ences of the actions of 4his or her, and only his or her, o.n person6 ,"DD#:""2O"#, "D&20. /n short, he ar!)es, 4even if it .ere the case that other selves are incl)ded .ithin the bo)ndary of the B)rmese ?or any B)ddhist or 3ind)@ conception of the self,Fho. then .o)ld .e e7plain the fact that the B)rmese e7plicitly affirm that no actor bears any responsibility for the action of others, even tho)!h the latter are alle!edly incl)ded .ithin the bo)ndary of the actor:s o.n self56 ,"DD#:""#0. 3ere Spiro provides only one of the m)ltiple theories of karma held by 3ind) /ndians, if not B)rmese B)ddhists. Several anthropolo!ical st)dies of different re!ions in /ndia, as .ell as my Ben!ali informants, reco)nt ho. karma may be shared amon! members of a family or comm)nity, makin! it not al.ays simply an individ)al affair.?'@ S)san -adley and Br)ce Berr ,"DD00, for instance, tell of ho. a devastatin! fire in the north /ndian villa!e of ;arimp)r sp)rred a debate amon! villa!ers over the e7tent that karma is shared8the e7tent that the deeds of one person affect the lives of others. /t

became clear that 4;arimp)r residents vie.ed the fire as a comm)nity p)nishment, not merely an individ)al one6 ,p. "$20. (he people / kne. in -est Ben!al also offered theories of shared karma to e7plain a person:s or !ro)p:s misfort)ne. <ne respected Brahman priest and his .ife .ere enterin! into old a!e .ith no childrenN the priest:s brother also had none. (he family line ,"am!2a0 .o)ld be e7tin!)ished, and there .o)ld be no one to care for the t.o brothers and their .ives in old a!e. (he common villa!e e7planation .as that they .ere s)fferin! the karmic fr)its of the misdeeds that their dishonest father had performed in his lifetime. 9s one .oman told me, 4-hen a father does sin, his sons have to eat the fr)its.6 9ltho)!h 3ind) So)th 9sians also offer individ)al theories of karma to e7plain a sin!le person:s o.n life circ)mstances, they freG)ently vie. karma as somethin! that is shared by .hole families or comm)nities.?E@ (his brin!s me to my ne7t point, and here / a!ree .ith Spiro: dichotomies bet.een -estern and non1 -estern, individ)al and nonindivid)al, bo)nded and nonbo)nded conceptions of self or person sho)ld not be overdra.n ,Spiro "DD#:""'0. (h)s, tho)!h the ethno!raphic literat)re on So)th 9sia sho.s a lon! tradition of research holdin! that /ndians ,in vario)s .ays0 de1emphasiAe individ)ality,?&@ anthropolo!ists have also e7amined .ays in .hich So)th 9sians vie. persons in terms that .e mi!ht consider 4individ)al.6 ?D@ 9mericans, too, may not al.ays consider themselves to be as neatly bo)nd, closed, and individ)al as many scholars have pres)med. 9 st)dy by Carol Jemeroff and Pa)l IoAin ,"DD$0, for instance, e7amines the so1called conta!ion concept amon! ad)lt Philadelphians, the ma2ority of .hom, it t)rns o)t, believe that some kinds of essences ,4vibes,6 4cooties,6 !erms, moral G)alities, etc.0 are transferred from person to person thro)!h everyday e7chan!es s)ch as sharin! a s.eater. Some feminist theorists have s)!!ested f)rther that models of the self emphasiAin! individ)al a)tonomy do not adeG)ately describe the self1conceptions of 9merican .omen, .ho are more likely than 9merican men to foc)s more on connectedness to others. +)ltiple perspectives e7ist in any society or c)lt)re ,e.!., Chodoro. "DE&N >illi!an "D&2N Lykes "D&%0. -hat are often taken as the m)t)ally e7cl)sive val)es of 4individ)ality6 and 4relatedness6 may in fact interpenetrate .ithin the same c)lt)re. 9nd obvio)sly persons steeped in So)th 9sian c)lt)re live in the -est and vice versa, makin! it even more diffic)lt to dra. any meanin!f)l bo)ndaries bet.een 4-estern6 and 4non1-estern6 conceptions. -hile / believe that it is possible to e7plore .hat people believe a 4person6 or 4self6 to be, / do not intend to investi!ate Ben!ali notions of personhood as a means of contrastin! them to a p)tative !eneraliAed 4-estern6 conception of the person. Iather, / )se the r)ral Ben!ali material to e7amine vie.s abo)t personhood in a partic)lar society, and then brin! these vie.s or ethno1theories into the arena of -estern theoretical disc)ssion abo)t persons, selves, and !enders.?"0@ +ore specifically, / e7plore ho. Ben!ali notions of persons as relatively open and composed of relationships ,a notion / .ill contin)e to elaborate on0 are tied to their perceptions abo)t a!in!, dyin!, !ender, and the formin! and takin! apart of social relations over the life co)rse.

Notes
". Bipesh Chakrabarty ,"DD'0 has .ritten an ele!ant essay e7aminin! 3ind)1Ben!ali nostal!ia for 4the villa!e,6 in the aftermath of the "D$E partition of -est Ben!al from *ast Ben!al, .hen *ast Ben!al became *ast Pakistan ,in "DE", this same territory became Ban!ladesh0. 2. <n So)th 9sian notions of person or self, see, e.!., *. M. Baniel "D&$N B)mont "D&0aN *.in! "DD0, "DD"N Lamb "DDEbN +arriott "DE', "DD0N +arriott and /nden "DEEN +c3)!h "D&DN +. +ines "D&&, "DD$N <stor, Cr)AAetti, and Barnett "D&2N Parish "DD$N Parry "D&DN Ioland "D&&N and Sh.eder and Bo)rne "D&$.

#. / .rite abo)t 4imp)rity6 here at some len!th, partly beca)se the topic has received so m)ch attention in the anthropolo!ical literat)re on /ndia and partly beca)se it at first seemed to me so important to the local constit)tion of open persons and inters)bstantial social relations. 3o.ever, / !rad)ally learned that social relations for Ben!alis do not by any means center on avoidin! imp)rity. $. Spiro ,"DD#0 disc)sses these So)th 9sianists partic)larly on pp. ""%, "2#O2E, "#2, .here he concentrates on Sh.eder and Bo)rne:s ,"D&$0 notion of a 4sociocentric6 self. %. Spiro s)pports his ar!)ment on self1other differentiation by dra.in! on Lames ,"D&" ?"&D0@0 and 3allo.ell ,"D%%0. '. <n shared karma, see -adley and Berr "DD0 and S. Baniel "D&#:2&O#%. E. Cor a detailed e7amination of ho. diverse theories of karma are )sed sim)ltaneo)sly by (amil villa!ers, see S. Baniel "D&#. &. <n de1emphasiAin! individ)ality in So)th 9sia, see, e.!., +arriott "DE', "DD0N *. M. Baniel "D&$N B)mont "D&0a:"&%, 2#"O#D, and passimN and Sh.eder and Bo)rne "D&$. Jote that 4individ)ality6 is a polysemo)s term .hose implications differ amon! these scholars. D. Cor e7amples emphasiAin! the So)th 9sian 4individ)al,6 see +c3)!h "D&DN +. +ines "D&&, "DD$N +. +ines and >o)rishankar "DD0N and Parish "DD$:"2EO2D, "&'O&E. +arriott:s position is also more comple7, variable, and n)anced than simply holdin! 3ind) persons to be 4)nbo)nded.6 +)ch of his .ork is devoted to .hat he sees as stren)o)s 3ind) efforts to.ard closin! bo)ndaries ,coolin! oneself, minimiAin! interactions, 4)nmi7in!,6 etc.0. "0. +)ch of the conf)sion s)rro)ndin! the cross1c)lt)ral st)dy of personhood stems from a lack of specificity abo)t .hat is meant by terms s)ch as 4person6 and 4self.6 4Self6 often implies .hat .e mi!ht consider to be a psycholo!ical entity, s)ch as an e!o or a s)b2ective e7perience of one:s o.n bein!. / therefore prefer to )se the broader, more open term 4person.6 Beliefs abo)t .hat it is to be a person in any c)lt)ral1historical settin! mi!ht incl)de notions and practices concernin! some or all of the follo.in!: a s)b2ective sense of selfN a so)l or spiritN the bodyN the mindN emotionsN a!encyN !ender or se7N race, ethnicity, or casteN relationships .ith other people, places, or thin!sN a relationship .ith divinityN illness and .ell1bein!N po.erN karma or fate ,perhaps in!rained in or .ritten on the body or so)l in some .ay0N and the like. <)r task as anthropolo!ists st)dyin! personhood is to investi!ate .hat defines bein! a person, or bein! h)man, for the people .e are strivin! to )nderstand. Cor other disc)ssions of .hat anthropolo!ists mean by the terms 4person6 and 4self,6 see 3arris "D&DN Lindholm "DDEN Pollock "DD'N and -hittaker "DD2.

"2 Fami'& Mora' S&stems

(he most common Ben!ali term )sed to refer to .hat .e in *n!lish mi!ht call a 4family6 is sam!sr. /t literally means 4that .hich flo.s to!ether,6 from the roots sam!, 4to!ether, .ith,6 and sr!, 4to flo., move.6 /n its most comprehensive sense, sam!sr refers to the .hole material .orld ,%r!thi"3 or 'agat0 and to the fl)7 of births and deaths that all livin! bein!s and thin!s !o thro)!h to!ether. +ore commonly, the term desi!nates one:s o.n family or ho)sehold ,.hich is in some .ays vie.ed as a microcosm of the .ider .orld:s processes0. (h)s sam!sr not only refers to the people of a family or ho)sehold, b)t also incl)des any ho)sehold animals, s)ch as co.s, !oats, or d)cksN any family deitiesN the space of the ho)se itselfN and the material !oods of a ho)sehold8cookin! )tensils, beddin!, .all han!in!s, and the like. 9ll of this collectively makes )p .hat Ben!alis call their sam!sr, the assembly of people and thin!s that 4flo. .ith6 persons as they move thro)!h their lives. (he SamsadBengali8 -nglish Di#tionary, like some of my h)man informants, also lists 4the bindin!s of maya6

,my"andhan0 as one of the overlappin! meanin!s of sam!sr8that is, the bodily and emotional attachments or 4bindin!s6 that connect people .ith the persons and thin!s that make )p their ho)seholds and .ider inhabited .orlds. /t .as .ithin sam!srs, or families, in +an!aldihi that m)ch of .hat constit)ted a!e and !ender relations .as played o)t. /n this and the follo.in! chapter, / foc)s on people:s visions of the .orkin!s of families. (hese visions entailed both consens)s8.hat .ere often presented to me as shared 4Ben!ali6 val)es8 and dissension or conflictin! perspectives ,for instance, bet.een !enerations or !enders0. /n today:s theoretical climate, it is often dissension or contestation that is hi!hli!hted ,as / disc)ssed in the introd)ction0. /ndeed, contestation8or the absol)te hetero!eneity of c)lt)re8has someho. become an overpo.erin! trope, almost silencin! .hat it .as meant to allo. for: that is, a heedin! of the f)ll ran!e of diverse perspectives, visions, and e7periences of those .e are seekin! to )nderstand.?"@ Cor it is not only anthropolo!ists .ho have often ,perhaps more often in the past0 so)!ht !eneraliAed or essentialiAed feat)res of 4c)lt)res6N very often people essentialiAe themsel&es. Cor instance, those / kne. in +an!aldihi commonly spoke to me of 4Ben!ali c)lt)re,6 or 4Ben!ali people68especially .hen describin! to me ,admittedly an o)tsider, for .hom this kind of lan!)a!e mi!ht have been tho)!ht partic)larly appropriate0 ho. families .ork and ho. a!in! is constit)ted .ithin families. Scholars s)ch as Partha Chatter2ee ,"DD#0 and Pradip ;)mar Bose ,"DD%0 have e7amined elite middle1 class disco)rses on the family in nineteenth1 and early1t.entieth1cent)ry Ben!al, in .hich the family .as often presented as the inner domain of a national c)lt)re, a ref)!e from e7ternal colonial society. S)ch an a.areness of c)lt)ral difference also )nderlay many +an!aldihi villa!ers: disco)rses of Ben!ali family val)es ,a point / disc)ss f)rther in chapter #0. (he .orkin!s of inter!enerational family relations .ere presented as key parts of a Ben!ali local morality, a Ben!ali .orld. (he material in this chapter, as the label 4family moral systems 6 .o)ld s)!!est, concentrates on s)ch disco)rses of a shared pro2ect. Some readers may be )ncomfortable .ith the level of apparent a!reement or systematicity they find. B)t / have stayed close to the visions and lan!)a!e of many of my informantsN and if / had omitted this material, / .o)ld not have done 2)stice to the .ays they often .ished to represent themselves. / .ill then t)rn in chapter #, 4Conflictin! >enerations,6 to other, eG)ally vital perspectives on a!e and !ender relations .ithin family life. Both chapters e7plore cr)cial components of the .ays those / kne. in +an!aldihi e7perienced and envisioned processes of a!in!, !ender, and personhood .ithin the arena of family life, an arena informed by specific politics and history. H H H

5e$ining Age
-hen / be!an research in /ndia, / did not decide in advance .hom / .o)ld consider 4old6 ,altho)!h my advisor in Calc)tta, tro)bled by the lack of specificity in my research proposal, advised me to do so: 4B)t .hom .ill yo) be callin! Pold: in yo)r st)dy5 -ill it be people above a!e fifty1five5 or a!e si7ty1five560. /nstead, / .ished to find o)t ho. the people / lived .ith defined a!in!. <nce in +an!aldihi, .hen / searched for .ays to speak abo)t .hat / .o)ld call 4old a!e,6 / necessarily had to be!in by )sin! Ben!ali .ords that appro7imated the topic. / asked .hat it is to be 4!ro.n6 or 4increased6 ,"r!iddha0 or relatively 4senior6 or 4advanced6 ,"ur!o0 in life and social importance.?2@ / soon also heard the term "ayas, referrin! to life:s 4prime sta!e,6 or an advanced 4a!e6 or 4phase6 of life. / .as virt)ally never told directly abo)t a!e in absol)te meas)res. +ost people in +an!aldihi, in fact, did not kno. their a!e in years and placed little importance on s)ch information. 9ltho)!h people of co)rse sensed the repetitive cycles of seasons and celestial events as .ell as the acc)m)lation of

chan!es in their bodies, families, comm)nities, and nation, fe. co)nted the partic)lar n)mber of years passed in their lives as markers of identity or of life sta!e, or kept track of and celebrated their birthdays. Some of the more elite and literate families, especially amon! the Brahmans, did keep acco)nts of birth dates and s)ch in record books, partic)larly so that they mi!ht cast horoscopes .hen arran!in! marria!es. Some of those in +an!aldihi .ith salaried 2obs also noted their seniority in years for b)rea)cratic p)rposes. B)t s)ch kno.led!e .as !enerally considered to be elite or technical information, a kind of 4symbolic capital6 ,Bo)rdie) "DEE:"E"O&#0 that demonstrated the possession of ed)cation, record books, salaried 2obs, and the .ealth that these !oods entailed. <ne elderly ;ora .ido. ans.ered sharply .hen / asked her a!e, 43o. .o)ld / kno. that kind of thin!5 (hat:s a matter of paper and pencils. -here .o)ld .e !et thin!s like that5 ;no.in! yo)r a!e ,"ayas0 is for "or!o ,Pbi!: or Prich:0 people like yo) or Brahmans.6 +)ch as Sylvia Mat)k ,"DD00 had observed in Belhi, in +an!aldihi family criteria, and partic)larly the marria!es of children, .ere held above all to constit)te the be!innin!s of the senior phase ,"ur!o "ayas0. (he family heads initiated their transition to bein! 4senior6 by !rad)ally8often .ith years of ambivalence, ar!)in!, and competition8handin! over their d)ties of reprod)ction, cookin!, and feedin! to 42)nior6 s)ccessors, )s)ally sons and sons: .ives. -hen their children married, .omen .o)ld also start to .ear .hite saris, .hich si!nified their increasin! seniority and ase7)ality.?#@ Since s)ch s)ccessions and retirements mi!ht occ)r .hen members of the ascendant !eneration .ere of any a!e bet.een abo)t thirty1five and si7ty, the Ben!ali senior sta!e corresponded ro)!hly to the second halves of most villa!ers: lives and to .hat today:s 9mericans mi!ht call 4middle6 and 4old6 a!e. People defined a!in! physically as .ell, describin! the old body as 4.eak6 ,dur"al0, 4cool6 ,t!hn!d!0, 4dry6 ,2u/na0, and sometimes 4decrepit6 ,'r0. La.rence Cohen ,"DD&0 scr)tiniAes the 4hot6 and 4.eak6 minds of the senile .hom he searched o)t amid the nei!hborhoods of Maranasi, b)t in +an!aldihi s)ch chan!es in the mind8tho)!h noted at times8.ere not commonly stressed as constit)tive of old a!e. -ell1ed)cated Brahmans in +an!aldihi .o)ld also sometimes disc)ss a!in! in terms of the 2rama dharma schema: the idealiAed fo)r1sta!e life cycle of the dharma2stras, the classical 3ind) ethical1 le!al te7ts.?$@ /n this schema, men move thro)!h a series of fo)r life sta!es or 4shelters6 ,2ramas08as a st)dent, a married ho)seholder, a disen!a!ed forest d.eller ,&na%rastha0, and finally a .anderin! reno)ncer ,sannys30.?%@ -hen a man sees the sons of his sons and .hite hair on his head he kno.s it is time to enter the forest1d.eller phase8departin! from his home to live as a hermit, or remainin! in the ho)sehold b)t .ith a mind foc)sed on >od. (he final life sta!e is concept)aliAed as a time of complete abne!ation of the phenomenal .orld and its pleas)res and ties. Some in +an!aldihi compared spirit)ally minded elders ,especially Brahman men0 to the forest d.ellers or ren)nciants of the 2rama dharma schema, a comparison / scr)tiniAe f)rther in chapter $. (he people / kne. in +an!aldihi often e7plained the .orkin!s, meanin!s of, and val)es behind the transitions of a!in! by referrin! to transactions8.ho !ives .hat to .hom, and .hen, and .hy. /n the previo)s chapter, / described ho. s)bstantial1emotional connections of maya .ere created bet.een kin and close companions thro)!h sharin! and e7chan!in! s)bstances, s)ch as food, material !oods, a ho)se:s space, breast milk, body particles, .ords, and the like. B)t people did more than share !oods .ith one another ,a relationship / .ill call 4m)t)ality,6 follo.in! Iahe2a "D&&, esp. p. 2$#0. (hey also defined and created relatedness in terms of three other distinct modes of transactin!, .hich / .ill call lon!1term ,deferred0 reciprocity ,e.!., a parent provides food for a child, e7pectin! the !ro.n child to provide food for the parent years later in ret)rn0, centrality and peripherality ,e.!., an ad)lt is positioned in the donative center of a ho)sehold, distrib)tin! !oods and services to peripheral children and elders0, and hierarchy ,seniors, the 4increased6 and 4!ro.n6 folk, !ive o)t blessin!s and !)idance to, and

receive services and respect from, 2)niors and little ones0. >loria Iahe2a ,"D&&0, in her analysis of the prestations or !ifts !iven and received by people in the northern /ndian villa!e of Pahans), has also fo)nd it )sef)l to think of confi!)rations of castes and kinsmen in Pahans) in a tripartite set of transactional dimensions84m)t)ality,6 4centrality,6 and 4hierarchy.6 3er st)dy foc)ses on the prestations that move "etween ho)seholds of different castes and kinsmen. /n this chapter and the ne7t, / foc)s on the kinds of !ivin!s and receivin!s that .ent on within ho)seholds in +an!aldihi. 9nd tho)!h an important part of Iahe2a:s st)dy of interho)sehold prestations s)rro)nds the dispersal of 4ina)spicio)sness,6 / enco)ntered no similar transfers .ithin +an!aldihi ho)seholds. By e7aminin! ho)sehold transactions, / shed li!ht on the internal dynamics of families and on ho. relations of a!in! and !ender .ere constit)ted, tho)!ht abo)t, and val)ed. H H H

Long4term Re'ations6 Re(i*ro(it& and Indebtedness

People in +an!aldihi described Ben!ali family relations as entailin! lon!1term bonds of reciprocal indebtedness e7tendin! thro)!ho)t life and even after deathN foc)sin! on this transactional relationship provided one of their main .ays of speakin! abo)t the connections bindin! the !enerations. L)niors provided care for their elderly parents, reconstr)cted relations .ith parents as ancestors after death, and rit)ally no)rished these ancestors as a means of repayin! the tremendo)s debts ,r!n!0 o.ed for prod)cin! and carin! for them in infancy and childhood. 9ccordin! to my informants, this8the moral obli!ation to repay the vast debts inc)rred8.as the primary reason ad)lt children cared for their a!ed parents and n)rt)red their parents as ancestors after death.?'@ (he process of prod)cin! and raisin! children .as described by +an!aldihians as a series of !ivin!s. Parents !ive their ne.born children a body, made )p of their o.n blood8from the father:s seed or semen ,2u/ra, a distilled form of blood0 and the mother:s )terine blood ,ra/ta,rta"0, .hich no)rishes the fet)s in the .omb ,gar"ha0.?E@ Parents then no)rish their children .ith food: a mother:s breast milk ,"u/er dudh0, rice, and treats of s.eets and fr)it. (hey also provide their children .ith material necessities8clothin!, beddin!, money, and the like. (hey clean )p their infants: )rine and feces. (hey are responsible for their children:s havin! the .hole series of life or family cycle rit)als ,sam!s/rs0, from birth thro)!h marria!e. 9nd finally, thro)!h all of these !ivin!s, they end)re tremendo)s s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0. /n the end, after !ivin! to and constr)ctin! their children, the parents have lar!ely depleted their o.n reso)rces and th)s they advance to a 4senior6 ,"ur!o0 life phase. B)t this series of !ivin!s from ad)lt parents to yo)n!er children is only one phase of a m)ch lon!er story. 9ccordin! to +an!aldihians, by !ivin! to and raisin! their children, parents create in their offsprin! a tremendo)s moral debt, or r!n!, that can never be entirely repaid. =et children are obli!ated to stri&e as best they can to pay it off by ret)rnin! in kind the !ifts once !iven to them, principally by providin! for their parents .hen they become old and by rit)ally no)rishin! their parents as ancestors after death. 9s >)r)saday +)kher2ee, ;h)di (hakr)n:s eldest son, e7plained: Lookin! after parents is the children:s ,#heleder0?&@ d)ty ,/arta"ya0. Sons pay back ,2odh /are0 the debt ,r!n!0 to their parents of childbirth and bein! raised by them. (he mother and father s)ffer so m)ch ,/hu"i /as!t!a /are0 to raise their children. (hey can:t sleepN they .ake )p in the middle of the ni!ht. (hey clean )p their children:s@ bo.el movements. (hey .orry terribly .hen the children are sick. 9nd the mother especially s)ffers ,myer "e2i /as!t!a hae0. She carries the child in her .omb for ten ?l)nar@ months, and she raises him from the blood and milk from her breasts. So if yo) don:t care for yo)r parents, then !reat sin ,/hu"i %%0 and in2)stice ,anye0 happens.

9nother Brahman man and family rit)al priest servin! +an!aldihi, Jimai Bhattchar2, provided a similar e7planation: Carin! for parents is the children:s d)ty ,/arta"ya0N it is dharma. 9s parents raised their children, children .ill also care for their parents d)rin! their sick years, .hen they !et old ,"r!iddha0. Cor e7ample, if / am old and / have a bo.el movement, my son .ill clean it and he .on:t ask, 4-hy did yo) do it there56 (his is .hat .e did for him .hen he .as yo)n!. -hen / am old and dyin!, .ho .ill take me to !o pee and defecate5 +y children .ill have to do it. -omen also spoke to me of the lon!1term relations of reciprocal interdependence and indebtedness they had as da)!hters1in1la. and mothers1in1la.. 9s / .ill describe belo., da)!hters lar!ely cleared their debts to.ard their o.n parents .hen they married, inheritin! at the same time ne. obli!ations to.ard their h)sbands: parents. (hese ne. relations bet.een da)!hters1in1la. and parents1in1la. .ere in part conceived of as reciprocal8for da)!hters1in1la. .ere often married as yo)n! !irls. (his .as especially tr)e of the older .omen of +an!aldihi, .hose marria!es took place before child marria!e re!)lations .ere implemented in /ndia, .hen brides often .ere !irls as yo)n! as ei!ht, five, or even t.o. +any of these .omen described ho. they .ere cared for, raised, and n)rt)red by their mothers1 in1la. as ne. brides, sleepin! .ith their mothers1in1la. at ni!ht, and even8one .oman told me8 n)rsin! from a mother1in1la.:s breasts. Choto +a e7plained the relations of reciprocal interdependence that she, as an older .oman, no. had .ith her da)!hters1in1la.: 4/f o)r ?da)!hters1in1la.@ didn:t care for )s, then .ho .o)ld5 9t this a!e5 -e took these da)!hters1in1la. in. 9nd in o)r time, o)r mothers1 in1la. took )s in and cared for )s.FJo. .e are dependent on o)r sons and on o)r da)!hters1in1la.. /t has to be done this .ay.6 (he attempt to pay back parents ,or parents1in1la.0 the debts of birth and rearin! does not end .ith care in old a!e, people said, b)t contin)es after death8as children s)ffer a period of death1separation imp)rity ,a2au#0 for their parents, perform f)neral rites, reconstr)ct their parents as ancestors, and rit)ally no)rish them. 9s S)bal >orai p)t it as he approached the end of the ri!oro)s month of death1 separation imp)rity for his deceased mother: 4-e m)st do the observances ?of death1separation imp)rity@ for o)r parents. /n doin! observances for o)r mother, .e pay her back ,2odh /ar hae0 for raisin! )s. She s)ffered very m)ch for )s, so .e .ill no. s)ffer for her also.FB)t o)r s)fferin! cannot eG)al hers. -e are tryin! to pay ?her@ back b)t .e cannot ever do it.6 -hen villa!ers reasoned abo)t s)ch iss)es .ith me8abo)t .hat children !ive to and o.e their a!ed and deceased parents8/ .as str)ck by the near1identity of .hat parents once !ave to their children and .hat children are later obli!ated to ret)rn. (hese reciprocated !ifts incl)ded the !ift of a body ,after death0, food, material necessities, the cleanin! of )rine and e7crement, the final sam!s/r or f)neral rites, and the s)fferin! and toil ,/as!t!a0 that all of these acts of !ivin! and s)pportin! entailed ,table $0. $. Ielations of Lon!1term, Beferred Ieciprocity 'hase +* ,eci&rocated gi%ing, or the deferred re&aying 'hase )* Initial gi%ing (d#oy#) of de!ts (r-n-) .ediu of $ransaction Body Cood Breast milk +other X $ransactors, Senior / "unior .ediu of $ransaction $ransactors, "unior/ Senior Son ,2)nior X parent of male line0 ,%ret, %itr!0 2)nior X elder, pret, pitrY

Parent X child Body Cood ,Co.:s0 milk

'hase )* Initial gi%ing (d#oy#) .ediu of $ransaction $ransactors, Senior / "unior child Iice (reats ,fr)it, s.eets, etc.0 +aterial !oods Clothin!, money, etc. Services Clean )p )rine and e7crement, daily care, etc. Sams/rs Cirst feedin! of rice, marria!e, etc. ;*=: X Parent X child Parent X child Parent X child Parent X child Senior X 2)nior

'hase +* ,eci&rocated gi%ing, or the deferred re&aying of de!ts (r-n-) .ediu of $ransaction $ransactors, "unior/ Senior

Iice (reats +aterial !oods Clothin!, money, etc. Services Clean )p )rine and e7crement, daily care, etc. Sams/rs C)neral rites

2)nior X elder, %ret, %itr! 2)nior X elder,

2)nior X elder, %ret

2)nior X *lder

2)niors X %ret, %itr! ,of male line0

Birection of transaction. L)nior +ay incl)de a child, child:s spo)se, !randchild, niece, nephe., etc., and especially sons and da)!hters1in1la.. Senior +ay incl)de a parent, parent1in1la., !randparent, a)nt, )ncle, departed spirit ,pret0, ancestor ,pitr0, especially those .ithin one:s o.n family line. *lder 9 senior .hen old. Pret Beparted spirit ,see chapter %0. PitrY 9ncestor ,see chapter %0. Some of these forms of reciprocal transaction have already been ill)strated by villa!ers G)oted above. Cor instance, villa!ers often described their o.n and others: relations .ith a!ed parents by relatin! ho. they as ad)lt children clean )p the )rine and e7crement of their parents .itho)t complainin!, 2)st as their parents once tended to them .hen they .ere infants. 9s .e have seen, Jimai Bhattchar2 reasoned, 4Cor e7ample, if / am old and / have a bo.el movement, my son .ill clean it and he .on:t ask, P-hy did yo) do it there5: (his is .hat .e did for him .hen he .as yo)n!.6 +an!aldihi villa!ers freG)ently praised the .ay one Brahman man, Syam (hak)r, cared for his very a!ed father .ith )nfailin! devotion )ntil the day he diedN Syam (hak)r, / .as told repeatedly, .o)ld himself take the e7crement1 covered sheets from his father:s bed to the pond to be .ashed, three or fo)r times a day if necessary, never complainin! and never ,several remarked0 tempted to feed his father less so that there .o)ld be

less .aste prod)ced. 9ltho)!h not all old people become incontinent, dealin! .ith a parent:s )rine and feces .as often held )p as a paradi!matic component of the relation bet.een an ad)lt child and an elderly parent. +oreover, people said, 2)st as parents constr)ct their children:s bodies by !ivin! birth to them and no)rishin! them .ith food, so children ,partic)larly sons0 m)st provide ne. bodies for their parents after death. / .ill later e7plain in detail ,chapter %0 the elaborate series of 3ind) f)neral rit)als by .hich 2)niors constr)ct ne. s)btle, ancestral bodies for their deceased seniors, and then caref)lly no)rish these bodies thro)!h on!oin! rit)al feedin!s. /n fact, the ten1day ,or sometimes lon!er0 period of death1separation imp)rity that s)rvivors end)re .hen an elder dies .as sometimes compared by villa!ers to the ten1month period of !estation d)rin! .hich an infant is prod)ced in the .omb ,cf. Parry "D&2:&%0. 9nd several of my informants stated that by !ivin! birth to their o.n children, they are also f)lfillin! a debt ,r!n!0 to their parents to prod)ce children to carry on the family line, 2)st as their parents had prod)ced them.?D@ By performin! the last f)neral rites for their parents, children also reciprocate the !ift of a sam!s/r to them. Parents constr)ct their children by !ivin! them the series of sam!s/rs from birth thro)!h marria!e, and in t)rn children !ive their parents the final sam!s/r, the 4last rites6 ,antyes!t!i0 and 4faithf)l offerin!s6 ,2rddha0, after death. Providin! parents .ith food in late life and after death .as re!arded by villa!ers as perhaps the most f)ndamental of all filial obli!ations. People providin! care for their parents in old a!e often spoke of 4!ivin! ?them@ rice6 ,"ht doy0. (hey especially stressed the effort mothers e7pend in no)rishin! their children, feedin! them milk from their o.n breasts, and the children:s obli!ation to reciprocate this n)rt)rin!. S)bal >orai said .ith emotion as he ministered to his mother d)rin! her last days, 4?+y mother@ fed me .ith milk from her o.n breastsN ho. co)ld / not feed her no.56 /f families co)ld afford it, they often tried to provide their elders, as they do yo)n! children, special treats s)ch as fr)it and s.eets made from milk. Milla!ers e7plained that as people !ro. older, their desire ,lo"h0 for special kinds of food increasesN if possible this desire sho)ld be ind)l!ed a bit. 9fter a death occ)rred, too, 2)nior s)rvivors spent a !reat deal of effort feedin! rice, .ater, and treats ,milk, honey, yo!)rt, fr)it, s.eets0 to the departed spirit and the ancestors. Cinally, villa!ers said that ad)lt children have an obli!ation to provide their a!ed and deceased parents .ith the material !oods needed to live comfortably. Livin! parents sho)ld receive clothin!, a place to sleep, perhaps a little spendin! money, their medications, and the likeN once deceased, in the f)neral rites they receive clothin!, shoes, a bed, eatin! )tensils, an )mbrella, money, and so forth. /n this .ay, 2)st as parents once provided their children .ith the s)bstance of ho)sehold life, the children years later reciprocate .ith these same kinds of !oods. 9ll of these 4!ifts6 to a!ed and deceased parents8performin! the final sam!s/r, constr)ctin! ne. bodies for them, cleanin! them of )rine and feces, feedin! them, and providin! them .ith material necessities8.ere spoken of as acts entailin! considerable effort ,'atna0 and s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0. B)t no matter ho. m)ch effort the children e7ert, / .as told, they can never eG)al their parents in s)fferin! and e7pense. By en!a!in! in this series of reciprocal transactions, people in +an!aldihi .orked to constr)ct lon!1 term bonds of interdependence that connected people across the fl)ct)ations of family life. Cr)cial to these reciprocations .as the dimension of time. (hose .ho en!a!ed in a transaction ,of food, a body, material !oods0 at one partic)lar time ,as a !ift from parent to child0 potentially !ained somethin! beyond that time8in f)t)re material ret)rns and desired acts provided by their children m)ch later, .hen they .ere old. <ther anthropolo!ists, s)ch as +arcel +a)ss ,"D'E ?"D2%@0 and Jancy +)nn ,"D&'0, have looked at the kinds of transactions or !ift e7chan!es practiced by people in vario)s parts of the .orld that similarly aim to create debts in the receiver and thereby possibly .in later benefits for the !iver. /n +an!aldihi, the dynamic applied .ithin inter!enerational transactions. (he reciprocated

transaction .as de$erred to a later family phase, .hen the parents had become old and the children .ere ad)lt ho)seholders ,fi!)re "0. (h)s, a ma2or concern here .as the dura"ility of family relations over time, and not simply the eG)ivalence of reciprocated e7chan!es.

Ci!)re ". Ielations of lon!1term, deferred reciprocity. (his kind of thinkin!8investin! no. for f)t)re family phases and reciprocated ret)rns8.as e7plicit in villa!ers: reasonin! abo)t .hy they provided care for their elders. 9t the same time that ad)lt ho)seholders .ere providin! for their elders, they .ere also raisin! their o.n children8and lookin! ahead to the time .hen they .o)ld be in the position of the elder receivers, and their o.n children .o)ld ,they hoped0 be doin! the providin!. 9s one .oman told me: 4/f .e don:t serve and respect o)r elders, thenFmy o.n sons and da)!hters1in1la. .ill not serve me .hen / !et old. /f / don:t serve my 22ur!3 ,mother1in1la.0 no., .hen / !et old, my son .ill ask me, PBid yo) serve yo)r 22ur!39 -hy sho)ld / serve yo)5:6 S)ch lon!1term reciprocal transactions also served in lar!e part to maintain the 4bindin!s6 of a sam!sr, or family. 9 child may cry o)t in h)n!er, ca)sin! a 4p)ll6 ,t!n0 in his mother8and the mother .ill !ive him or her a breast to n)rse, or s)pply a plate of food. So an a!in! mother can also 4p)ll6 in h)n!er on the bindin!s that tie her to her child .hen her breasts are empty of milk in late life8and e7pect her !ro.n child to provide food in ret)rn. (hese !ifts of food, material !oods, and bodies back and forth over several family phases and even in death played a ma2or role in s)stainin! ho)seholds and family lines, as .ell as the people .ho made them )p. Sylvia Mat)k ,"DD0:'' and passim0 also .rites of relations of 4lon!1term inter!enerational reciprocity6 .ithin /ndian families livin! near Belhi. She s)!!ests that this conception of parent1child reciprocity as a 4life1span relationship6 sharply distin!)ishes /ndian from 9merican vie.s of dependence in old a!e. St)dies s)ch as those by +ar!aret Clark ,"DE20, +ar!aret Clark and Barbara 9nderson ,"D'E0, and +aria Mesperi ,"D&%0 reveal that many 9mericans find the need to depend on yo)n!er relatives for s)pport in old a!e destr)ctive to their sense of self1esteem and val)e as a responsible person. (hey are distressed primarily beca)se the relationship bet.een an a!ed parent and yo)n!er care!iver is !enerally not perceived by these 9mericans8either the older person or the care!iver8as reciprocal, b)t rather as a one1.ay flo. of benefits from the caretaker to the 4dependent6 ,S. Mat)k "DD0:'%0. C)rthermore, most 9mericans e7pect the benefits in parent1child transactions to flo. 4do.n,6 not 4)p6 from children to parents. /t is proper for parents to !ive to children ,even, thro)!h !ifts of money or inheritances, .hen their children are ad)lts0N b)t if an ad)lt child !ives to an a!ed parent, then the parent is seen as childlike. Mesperi st)died !ro.in! old in a Clorida city, .here these old people 4find themselves in life sit)ations .here they are defined a %riori as dependent and child1like. (hey e7ist as s)pplicants, not as partners in reciprocal e7chan!e. (he s)pplicant is a shado.y form, an empty cofferN he or she receives b)t is not e7pected to !ive in ret)rn6 ,"D&%:E"0. <f co)rse, the de!ree of dependence in old a!e varies accordin! to class and ethnicityN the problem is partic)larly ac)te for poorer people, .ho late in their lives have no accr)ed estate to dra. from and potentially pass on to children. /n Dis#i%line and .unish ,"DED0, +ichel Co)ca)lt raises iss)es that pertain to this ne!ative constr)ction of dependence in old a!e. /n a modern ind)strial society, he points o)t, people have been defined in terms of their ability to prod)ce .ealth and the means of their o.n s)bsistenceN anythin! less is disciplined or despised. 9s / .ill e7plore in !reater depth in the follo.in! chapter, many people in and aro)nd +an!aldihi did indeed .onder and .orry .hether their children .o)ld feed them rice in old a!eN others lived in s)ch poverty that they .ere )nable to s)pport a!ed family members, ho.ever m)ch they mi!ht .ish toN and

still others .ere left .ith no children even to hope to depend on. Jonetheless, most contin)ed to think of parent1child relations as lon!1term reciprocal ones, and those .ho kne. somethin! of the United States reflected on the care, or .hat they had heard to be the noncare, of the 9merican elderly .ith horror. /n +an!aldihi, even as many perceived fa)lts and fla.s in their relationships, the ma2ority of 4senior6 people .ere cared for by sons and their .ives in ho)seholds cro.ded .ith cookin! fires and descendants ,table %, pa!e %$0. %. +an!aldihi:s Seniors: So)rces of S)pport, "DD0 Source of Su&&ort Lived .ith sons and "ous Lived .ith da)!hter or other close relatives S)pported self thro)!h labor ,maidservant, co. tender, maker of co. d)n! patties, etc.0 S)pported self thro)!h independent income ,property, savin!s, etc.0 Be!!ar (otal J<(*: ZSeniorZ here .as defined as anyone .hom my research assistant Bip) ,.ho cond)cted most of the ho)se1to1ho)se villa!e cens)s0 and the ho)sehold members he spoke .ith considered to be Zsenior,Z Zincreased,Z or ZoldZ ,"r!iddha, "ur!o0. (hese .ere !enerally those .hose children .ere all married, .ho had !ray or !rayin! hair, .ho .ore mostly .hite, and so on. 9ll those listed as selfs)pportin! lived ad2acent to 2)nior kin. Nu !er of Seniors '$ % "E $ # D#

The Marriage o$ 5a)ghters6 Re*a&ing arenta' 5ebts with Mo)se7s Earth

/t .as at the marria!es of their children that parents insti!ated the ne. phase in .hich the direction of !ivin! .o)ld be reversed and be!in to flo. from children to parents. Specific portions of the marria!e rit)als performed for both sons and da)!hters dealt .ith the iss)e of repayin! debts to parents, tho)!h to G)ite different effect. -omen and men in +an!aldihi told me ho. da)!hters, like sons, inc)r vast debts to.ard their parents by virt)e of bein! prod)ced and raised by themN b)t )nlike a son, a da)!hter rit)ally clears a.ay these debts .hen she marries by performin! a rit)al of 4!ivin! mo)se:s earth6 ,:durer mt!i doy0 as she leaves her father:s home for her father1in1la.:s home. (he mornin! after the ni!htlon! marria!e ceremonies have been performed at the bride:s father:s home, the bride, !room, and the bride:s mother perform a rit)al of partin! ,"ide0, one of .hose f)nctions is to enable the departin! da)!hter to 4pay back6 ,2odh /ar0 her parents, and especially her mother, for the debts ,r!n!0 she has inc)rred !ro.in! )p. (he mother, da)!hter, and !room come to!ether ne7t to the vehicle that .ill carry the da)!hter and her h)sband a.ay8)s)ally a rented car ,4ta7i60 if the family is fairly .ealthy, a cycle ricksha. or o7cart if poor. Jei!hbors and relatives cro.d aro)nd to .atch the poi!nant event, often .ith tears streamin!. (he mother blesses the bride and !room, imb)in! them .ith a)spicio)s s)bstances by first .ashin! their feet .ith t)rmeric paste and milk, and then to)chin! their feet .ith .hole rice !rains ,dhn0 and sacred !rass ,/u2a0. Je7t she .ipes their feet .ith her )nbo)nd hair. Milla!ers e7plained that by this act a mother maintains connections .ith her da)!hter, even as she sends her a.ay. 3air, especially in its )nbo)nd or 4open6 ,/hol0 condition ,i.e., not braided or tied )p in a knot0, is tho)!ht to have properties very cond)cive to mi7in! or connectin!. 9 mother also .ipes the navel of her ne.born child .ith )nbo)nd hair after the )mbilical cord has been c)t, to miti!ate the separative effects of severin! this physical bond. So, villa!ers e7plained, a mother .ipes her departin! da)!hter .ith her )nbo)nd

hair to keep the mother and da)!hter 4one6 ,e/0. /f she .ere to .ipe her da)!hter:s feet ,or her ne.born child:s navel0 .ith her hand, .hich is colder and more contained, the child .o)ld become 4other6 ,%ar0.?"0@ Cinally, the mother .ipes dry the feet of the bride and !room .ith a cotton to.el, or gm#h. (he critical point of the rit)al comes ne7t: the bride:s mother stands, opens the blo)se )nder her sari, and has her da)!hter !est)re to.ard n)rsin! at her breast. Up )ntil no., villa!ers e7plained, the mother has n)rt)red her da)!hter, and she offers her da)!hter her breast for the last time, before she t)rns her over to be fed and s)pported by her h)sband and his family. (he da)!hter then takes from a handkerchief a handf)l of earth d)! from a mo)se hole ,:durer mt!i, 4the earth of a mo)se60 and places it into a fold in her mother:s sariN she repeats the act three times, as her mother hands the earth back to her. -ith each offerin!, the da)!hter repeats, 4+a, all that / have eaten from yo) for so many days, / pay back today .ith this mo)se:s earth6 ,M, eto din tomr ' /heye#hilm, ' ei :durer mt!i diye t 2odh /arlm0. +other and da)!hter )s)ally .eep as they perform this final act. (he mother hands the bride a brass tray or c)p filled .ith rice and s.eets that the bride is to !ive to her mother1in1la. .hen she arrives at her ne. home. (he mother then t)rns a.ay in tears and )s)ally does not .atch her da)!hter depart. / heard several theories on the rit)al si!nificance of mo)se:s earth. Some tho)!ht that beca)se mice live in the ho)se and eat rice !rains, the staple food of a ho)sehold, they are in some .ays like the !oddess Laksmi, the !oddess of .ealth and prosperity .ho is associated .ith rice. +o)se:s earth can therefore be re!arded as a form of .ealth, like rice, and can be !iven to a mother in compensation for her considerable e7pendit)res. 9lternatively, Lina Cr)AAetti ,"D&2:%%O%'0, .ho describes a similar rit)al amon! other Ben!ali .omen, s)!!ests that the earth of a mo)se represents the life of a married .oman, .ho shifts .ealth from ho)se to ho)se as the mo)se shifts earth. (he e7planation that seemed most convincin! to me, ho.ever, derived from the rit)al:s triviality. Several villa!e .omen told me emphatically that of co)rse a da)!hter:s debts to her parents can never be tr)ly repaid. (hat is .hy the da)!hter !ives s)ch a .orthless item to her mother before she leaves, makin! it plain that she has not matched the val)e of the debt. <ne mother of fo)r as yet )nmarried da)!hters said to me, 4Can the debt ?to one:s parents@ be paid back .ith the earth of a mo)se5 JoS (hat debt .ill not be repaid.6 Jonetheless, beca)se she had !one thro)!h the rit)al motions of payin! back her mother .ith mo)se:s earth, a married da)!hter:s debts to.ard her parents .ere re!arded as formally erased. -ith the clearin! of this debt, the bride also .eakened her bonds .ith her parents, for indebtedness entails a connection bet.een t.o parties. Jot )nderstandin! the positive local f)nction of indebtedness, / )n.ittin!ly ins)lted several nei!hborhood .omen early on in my stay in +an!aldihi by attemptin! to pay off debts, ret)rnin! a borro.ed c)p of s)!ar, or payin! a fe. r)pees in e7chan!e for havin! a sari:s hem se.n. (hey .o)ld say to me, h)rt, 4-hat are yo) tryin! to do5 Pay back ?the debt@ and c)t off all ties56 Cor this reason, many mothers told me that they fo)nd the rit)al of bein! paid back by their da)!hters almost impossible to end)re. 4(o hear a da)!hter say, P/ have paid off my debts to yo): ,tomr r!n! 2odh /arlm0,6 one .oman said, 4!ives so m)ch pain.6 Some m)sed that they .o)ld try to find others to perform the rit)al in their stead, a h)sband:s brother:s .ife or the like, b)t / never sa. this happen. By clearin! her parental debts and movin! on to her h)sband:s and father1in1la.:s home, a da)!hter th)s removes herself from the cycle of lon!1term reciprocal transactions that tie her natal family to!ether. 9 da)!hter receives from her parents for years b)t repays these debts in a rit)al instant only, .hich ends her most vital transactions .ith them. <n rare occasions, especially if there .ere no sons in the family, a da)!hter .o)ld s)pport her a!ed parents ,see table %0N b)t doin! so .as not re!arded as her obli!ation ,dyit&a0. +arried da)!hters also )s)ally contin)ed to visit their natal homes, several times a year and even for .eeks at a time, especially over the first fe. years of marria!e. <n s)ch

visits, they often secretly !ave their mothers !ifts of money, sari blo)ses, petticoats, and the like, especially if their h)sbands: ho)seholds .ere better off than their parents:. 3o.ever, people believed that it did not look !ood if a married da)!hter !ave too m)ch to her natal parents. +arried da)!hters are transformed from ni'er lo/, 4o.n people,6 to /ut!um"s, relatives by marria!e,?""@ and th)s no lon!er ri!htf)lly had the role of lookin! after and providin! for their parents. 9 married da)!hter does, ho.ever, inherit ne. debts to.ard her parents1in1la., 2)st as her h)sband and parents1in1la. take on the responsibility of s)pportin! her. (he ne.ly married bride brin!s to her father1in1la.:s home a brass tray of rice and s.eets that she !ives to her mother1in1la. )pon arrival, and this initial !ift demonstrates that she has no. taken on the obli!ation to serve and !ive to them ,see also Cr)AAetti "D&2:%%0. 9 da)!hter1in1la. ,"ou0 not only provides m)ch of the labor of servin! her h)sband:s parents .hile they are alive, she also m)st 2oin her h)sband in observin! death1separation imp)rity, performin! f)neral rites, and rit)ally no)rishin! her parents1in1la. as ancestors after their deaths. (he da)!hter1in1la.:s position as caretaker and server of her h)sband:s parents .ill become clearer as .e e7amine the marria!e rit)als of a son.

The Marriage o$ Sons+ the -ringing o$ 5a)ghters4in4Law+ and the Re*a&ing o$ arenta' 5ebts
Before a son leaves to be married, he performs a rit)al that in some respects parallels the da)!hter:s rit)al of !ivin! mo)se:s earth to her mother. 9s this marria!e constit)tes the be!innin! of the parents: 4senior6 or 4increased6 a!e and the end in many .ays of the son:s childhood dependence on them, the son m)st mark the shift in direction of the reciprocal relationship .ith his parents, insti!atin! a ne. family phase in .hich he ,and his .ife0 .ill be!in to !ive to and pay back his parents in e7chan!e for all that they have !iven to him. (he !room is accompanied on his 2o)rney to the bride:s home, .here the marria!e ceremonies .ill take place, by a !ro)p of relatives and friends kno.n as the "ar 'tr3, or 4!room:s procession,6 b)t he leaves his parents behind at home. /mmediately before the !room departs, his mother performs a series of rit)al acts similar to those for a departin! bride1da)!hter. She .ashes her son:s feet .ith t)rmeric paste, milk, and .ater and .ipes them first .ith her )nbo)nd hair and then .ith a cotton to.el. She ne7t stands and is s)pposed to have her son symbolically n)rse at her breast one last time. /n practice, many mothers and sons skip this part of the rit)al, o)t of 4embarrassment6 ,la''0. B)t everyone / spoke .ith a!reed that the offerin! of the breast or the 4feedin! of milk6 ,dudh /hoyno0 should be done. /t si!nifies, / .as told, that the mother:s 4.ork6 ,/'0 to.ard her son is no. finished. Cor his .hole life, the mother has fed and cared for her son thro)!h offerin!s of breast milk, food, and loveN b)t from no. on his .ife .ill look after him instead. 9t this point, the rit)al diver!es si!nificantly from that performed for a departin! da)!hter1bride. (he mother asks her son three times, 4<h, son, .here are yo) !oin!56 9nd the son responds three times, 4+a, /:m !oin! to brin! yo) a servant6 ,M, tomr ds3 nte '"o0. /nstead of clearin! his debts to his mother by !ivin! her mo)se:s earth, he anno)nces8.ith the same n)mber of repetitions as in the bride:s rit)al8that he .ill be brin!in! home a .ife, .ho .ill be a 4servant,6 or ds3, to her. (his da)!hter1in1la. or servant is th)s in some .ays eG)ivalent to the mo)se:s earth that a da)!hter !ives her mother8both are offered to a mother in e7chan!e for .hat she has previo)sly !iven her child. (he son brin!s home a .ife and da)!hter1in1la. to take on .ith him the obli!ation of servin! his parents and bearin! sons to contin)e the family line. /n this .ay, a son be!ins the phase of reciprocatin! his tremendo)s debts to.ard his parents, and a da)!hter1in1la. inherits the b)rden of providin! m)ch of the labor that !oes into this reciprocation. H H H

Centra'it& and eri*hera'it&

(he shift to a ne. phase in family relations of deferred reciprocity, as sons and their .ives be!in to !ive to their a!in! parents, also brin!s abo)t a repositionin! of family members. (he principal married co)ple of a ho)se .hose sons .ere not yet married .ere felt to be at the .arm, reprod)ctive, and redistrib)tive h)man 4center6 ,m'h/hne0 of life in a Ben!ali ho)sehold: they !ave food, kno.led!e, and services to and made decisions for all the others aro)nd them, incl)din! retirees and the yo)n! children .ho .ere located on the ho)sehold:s peripheries ,fi!)re 20.

Ci!)re 2. Ielations of centrality. (heir removal to the o)ter peripheries of a ho)sehold bro)!ht si!nificant chan!es for the elders. 9ltho)!h peripherality !ranted senior men and especially .omen increased freedoms8to !ive )p b)rdensome .ork, .ander o)tside of the ho)sehold, visit friends or married da)!hters8it also )s)ally entailed forfeit)res of po.er. /ndeed, becomin! peripheral .ithin a ho)sehold .as accompanied by losses alon! many of the same dimensions8of space, transactions, and po.er8involved in bein! lo. caste in +an!aldihi. +)ch as Brahmans .ere re!arded as bein! at the 4center of the villa!e6 ,grmer m'h/hne0, .ith the other, lo.er castes on 4all fo)r sides6 ,#rdi/e0, married ad)lts .ere vie.ed as occ)pyin! the spatial centers of their ho)seholds. Brahmans also had more control than any other !ro)p over transactions and distrib)tions concernin! villa!e reso)rces, s)ch as land, rice, and money, for they o.ned the lar!est amo)nt of land, held by far the !reatest n)mber of salaried 2obs, and hired many of the lo.er castes as employees and sharecroppers. (he lo.er castes .ere th)s lar!ely s)pported8albeit often inadeG)ately, many asserted8by the Brahmans, 2)st as the old ,and yo)n!0 .ere s)pported by the ad)lts in their families. 9s a res)lt, Brahmans tended to have the most political and economic po.er .ithin the villa!e ,altho)!h the lo.er 'tis in +an!aldihi .ere increasin!ly !ainin! local po.ers, in part beca)se of land reforms and in part beca)se of the %an#hyat system of local self1 !overnment, .hich no. ens)red that there .o)ld al.ays be a Ba!di representative0. Like.ise, it .as ad)lt ho)seholders .ho tended to have the most domestic po.er or a)thority. 9ltho)!h some .ealthier, stron!er1.illed, or more revered seniors, like ;h)di (hakr)n, often retained G)ite a lot of domestic a)thority and centrality )ntil their deaths, their voices .ere also freG)ently dismissed by 2)niors as empty "a/ "a/ .ords82)st so m)ch hot air and chatter. H H H

0ierar(hies6 Ser%ing and -'essing

9t the same time that elders moved o)t to the relatively po.erless peripheries of their ho)seholds, they also moved 4)p6 on a hierarchical scale of 2)nior1senior relations. L)niors in +an!aldihi !ave to and served their elders not only beca)se they .ere morally obli!ated to reciprocate their parents: earlier !ifts b)t also beca)se an elder person had a s)perior position in this hierarchy. <ld people .ere considered to be 4bi!6 ,"or!o0, 4increased6 ,"r!iddha0, 4venerable people6 ,guru'an0, 4over others6 ,la/er a%ar0, and even 4similar to !ods6 ,t!h/urer moto0. Milla!ers freG)ently commented that the relationship older parents have .ith their children is like that of a !od and devotee ,see also /nden and Jicholas "DEE:2E0. +y landlord:s sister Saras.ati e7po)nded their society:s attit)des to.ard the a!ed: 4-e think of o)r elders like >od ,"haga&n0.F-e call o)r !randparents t!h/ur8m ,literally, P!od1mother:0 and t!h/ur8 dd ,literally, P!odOelder brother:0 beca)se they are like t!h/urs ,visible !ods0 to )s.6 ?"2@ People in +an!aldihi also often compared ;h)di (hakr)n to a t!h/ur or !od. +y companion 3ena said, 4-e respect ;h)di (hakr)n very m)ch, beca)se of her a!e ,"ayas0. <nce they !et to be that increased

,"r!iddha0, they are t!h/urs ,visible !ods0.6 9nother yo)n! !irl e7claimed to me as .e roamed thro)!h the villa!e lanes past ;h)di (hakr)n:s ho)se: 4;h)di (hakr)n is the bi!!est ?or Poldest,: sa" #eye "or!o@ of the .hole villa!e. 9nd s)ch a lar!e villa!e as +an!aldihiS (hat means that she is eG)al to a !od ,t!h/urer samn0S6 /n this hierarchical sense, old persons co)ld be compared to the higher castes and classes in +an!aldihi. 4Bi!6 ,"or!o0 is a m)ltivalent term .ith overlappin! meanin!s: a person co)ld be 4bi!6 as an elder by havin! increased his or her seniority, kno.led!e, and connections over a lon! lifeN 4bi!6 as a rich person .ho has acc)m)lated m)ch material .ealthN or 4bi!6 as a person of a hi!h ,u##a0 caste. Providin! se&, or 4service,6 .as one of the ma2or .ays that 2)niors in +an!aldihi bro)!ht the hierarchical dimension of their relations .ith their elders to the fore. (his term, like se& /ar, 4to serve,6 has implications of rank in Ben!ali, 2)st as it does in *n!lish. /n +an!aldihi, se& .as somethin! performed for temple deities as .ell as for elders, and also sometimes for employers.?"#@ -hen performed for deities, se& incl)ded keepin! the temple clean, providin! the deity ,t!h/ur0 .ith daily food and .ater, offerin! the deity respectf)l devotion or "ha/t3, and often !ivin! the deity daily baths, fannin! it in the s)mmer to provide cool relief, and layin! it do.n to sleep for an afternoon rest and at ni!ht. Providin! se& for an elder involved similar practices. Cirst, it entailed satisfyin! the elder:s bodily needs and comforts. 9!ed men and .omen .ho praised the service they received from their ad)lt sons and da)!hters1in1la. detailed their ministrations .ith !reat specificity: they .ere fed several times a day, .ith care and before all othersN their le!s and feet .ere massa!edN their backs .ere oiledN their hair .as combed and braidedN their bodies .ere fanned in the s)mmer heatN their clothes .ere .ashed and their bedrolls .ere laid o)t at ni!ht. Ienderin! service to elders also incl)ded providin! medical care if needed, and the dark1rimmed eye!lasses displayed prominently on the faces of many of +an!aldihi:s better1off elders si!nified the se& of their sons. -ithin the first fe. days of marria!e, a da)!hter1in1la. ,"ou or "oum0 .as also e7pected to be!in to perform acts of se& to.ard her parents1in1la.. 9 ne. "ou may shyly and s)bmissively approach her father1in1la. to be!in massa!in! his feet as he rests, or she may !o to her mother1in1la. to pl)ck o)t her !ray hairs. /f a "ou did not herself initiate s)ch service, a mother1in1la. or other senior relative .o)ld often !ently direct the ne. "ou to do so, as servin! her in1la.s .as re!arded as one of her most important d)ties as a .ife. -ithin the first several .eeks follo.in! a .eddin!, it .as common for a mother1in1la. to travel .ith her ne. "ou, .ith or .itho)t the son, to the homes of relatives to sho. her off and introd)ce her to the .ider family. <ne s)ch mother1in1la., my landlord:s older sister Saras.ati, arrived one day in +an!aldihi .ith her first da)!hter1in1la. 2)st a .eek or so after the .eddin!. Saras.ati spent several ho)rs in my home .ith her "ou, talkin! to me abo)t ho. yo)n! people care for their elders in Ben!ali society. 9s she spoke, she seemed to !loat .ith pleas)re and pride as she had her !ray hairs pl)cked and her feet massa!ed by her "ou. Ieceivin! this service as a mother1in1la. .as ne. to her, 2)st as providin! it .as ne. to her da)!hter1in1la., .ho .as abo)t seventeen. (his yo)n! .oman, G)iet and s)bmissive, also appeared pro)d of her novel role of d)tif)lly servin! her mother1in1la.. Jot all "ous .ere so ea!er to serve, b)t her demeanor .as not )ncommon. She bl)shed .ith pride and embarrassment as the nei!hbors and relatives praised her service, and as her mother1in1la. proclaimed, 4<)r "ou is very !ood. She kno.s ho. to .ork. She r)bs oil on o)r feet. She respects and serves )s ,"ha/t38se& /are0.6 Se& also incl)ded acts of deference. *lders e7pected their 2)niors to comply .ith ,mn0 their reG)ests, to refrain from talkin! back and ar!)in!, and to ask their advice ,u%ade20 .hen makin! decisions. (he yo)n! people .ere also e7pected to feel 4respectf)l devotion6 or "ha/t3 for their elders, a hierarchical form of love also felt for a deity. (o display this devotion, as .ell as inferior stat)s, a

2)nior .o)ld often bo. do.n before an elder and .o)ld place the d)st from the elder:s feet on his or her headN this act, called %ran!m, is performed by devotees for a deity and by servants at times for their employers. (o sho. deference, Ben!alis also !enerally avoid )sin! any senior person:s personal name, )sin! instead an appropriate kin term, s)ch as !randmother ,t!h/urm,didim0, father:s sister ,%isi0, elder brother ,dd0, and so forth. (aken to!ether, these acts of deference and respectf)l devotion manifested se&; if they .ere not performed, an elder .o)ld feel that he or she .as not bein! served .ell. +any, ho.ever, felt that the obli!ations of se& co)ld never be satisfied. 9ccordin! to many elders, 2)niors can never !ive eno)!h, in the ri!ht .ay, at the ri!ht times. 9ccordin! to many 2)niors, elders make impossible, )n2)st, )nreasonable demands8insistin! on a man!o months past man!o season, demandin! a c)p of tea after the cookin! fire has already been p)t o)t, )rinatin! and defecatin! in bed so many times that no other ho)sehold .ork can be done e7cept keep them clean. Providin! se& is ironically also a form of po.er. 9t the same time that se& overtly si!nifies the s)periority of the elder bein! served, more covertly it reveals the elder:s declinin! domestic po.er and bodily stren!th. +any of the acts that constit)te se& embody this do)ble meanin!. 9s a ne., yo)n! da)!hter1in1la. s)bmissively pl)cks the !ray hairs from her mother1in1la.:s head, she displays at the same time the .eakenin! and a!in! of her mother1in1la.:s body. (he massa!e also has a do)ble si!nification: the s)bservience and inferiority of the 2)nior .ho provides it, and the .orn limbs and .eakened body of the senior bein! massa!ed. (he act of cleanin! )p an elder:s )rine and e7crement marks a 2)nior:s hierarchically inferior position, as someone .ho .ill accept even the imp)re ,a2uddha0 feces of a s)periorN b)t it points sharply as .ell to the elder:s incontinence, loss of control over even basic bodily f)nctions, and infantility. Similarly, sons often asked their a!ed fathers for advice abo)t decisions that both kne. the elder really had no control over. 9s se& demonstrates the a!ed movin! 4)p6 in a hierarchy of older and s)perior over yo)n!er and inferior, it is also part of their movement 4o)t6 to the peripheries of ho)sehold life, .here domestic po.er and bodily stren!th have diminished.

-'essings+ C)rses+ and A$$e(tion6 0ierar(hi(a' ,i$ts $rom Seniors to .)niors

Se& does not constit)te simply a one1.ay transaction, a flo. of services, !oods, and benefits from 2)nior to senior. 9ccordin! to +an!aldihi villa!ers, elders also provided a series of .hat / call 4hierarchical !ifts6 to their 2)niors8blessin!s in e7chan!e for se& and %ran!m, affection in e7chan!e for respectf)l devotion, b)t also c)rses and complaints to retaliate a!ainst ne!lect. (hese kinds of !ifts .ere not the same as .hat parents !ave to children as ad)lts and then ceased to !ive in late life ,food, bodies, material !oods, etc.0N rather parents, as seniors and s)periors to their children, provided them throughout their lives. (hese transactions, .e .ill see, .ere cr)cial in constit)tin! relations of 2)nior1 senior hierarchy .ithin +an!aldihi families ,see table ' and fi!)re #0.

(able '. Ielations of hierarchy. Ci!)re #. Ielations of hierarchy. Cirst, it is important to note that altho)!h elders may lose m)ch of their previo)s physical po.er8for e7ample, control over acG)irin! and distrib)tin! material !oodsN centrality amid the material e7chan!es ,of food, money, !oods, and the like0 .ithin ho)seholds8they .ere tho)!ht to !ain other kinds of po.ers, partic)larly verbal ones of c)rsin! and blessin!, and also of reG)estin!, demandin!, and

complainin!. 9ccordin! to +an!aldihians, old people co)ld )se these verbal po.ers ,often s)btly0 to e7ert levera!e over their 2)niors8providin! a stream of blessin!s in e7chan!e for acts of se& and %ran!m, and metin! o)t c)rses .hen se& .as fla!rantly .ithheld. +an!aldihi villa!ers said that the blessin!s ,23r"d0 of old people brin! !reat re.ards, and that their c)rses ,a"hi2%0 al.ays 4stick6 ,lege 'e0. Cear of these c)rses and anticipation of blessin!s motivated many villa!ers, on their o.n acco)nt, to serve their elders .ell. <ne t.elve1year1old +an!aldihi !irl, Chaitali, told me a story abo)t these po.ers of old peopleN she spoke in h)shed tones as she h)n! on my chair .hile / typed: Bid yo) kno. that old people ,"ur!o lo/0 can !ive o)t c)rses and blessin!s, and that they al.ays come to be5 +y !randfather !ave my 'et!h ,father:s older brother0 a c)rse before he died. 3e said that my 'et!h:s da)!hter .o)ld die. (his .as beca)se my 'et!h did not look after him. 3e didn:t clean )p his )rine and e7crement, and he didn:t even send him money home from .here he .orked in Bihar. (he c)rse came to pass ?her tone .as lo. and serio)s@. +y 'et!h:s da)!hter did die a fe. years a!o. She .as b)rned to death in a fire. B)t my !randfather !ave my father ?the yo)n!er son@ blessin!s. +y father cared for my !randfather )ntil his death. 3e fed him and !ave him a special chair to sit in, and he cleaned )p all of his )rine and e7crement. So my !randfather !ave my father a blessin! that he .o)ld become rich. 9nd he did. /ndeed, Chaitali:s father had become one of the richest men in the villa!e over the past decade or t.o, thanks to all sorts of profitable b)siness deals involvin! his land and crops. / heard many other stories like this one in +an!aldihi8stories in .hich an old person heaps c)rses on a ne!li!ent son, or even in .hich a .hole family line becomes e7tinct beca)se of the an!ry c)rses of a ven!ef)l, ne!lected elder. (he dama!in! po.er of old people:s c)rses .as often invoked, sometimes after the fact, in e7plainin! the e7treme misfort)nes befallin! a family, s)ch as the early death of a child or the e7tinction of a linea!e. *ven more pervasive .ere the blessin!s ,23r"d0 that old people besto.ed, often in !enero)sly flo.in! streams, in e7chan!e for service, %ran!m, and lovin! respect offered to them by their 2)niors. (he most common .ay that 2)niors so)!ht blessin!s and that elders !ave them o)t .as thro)!h acts of %ran!m..ran!m does not merely entail a 2)nior:s demonstration of respectf)l devotion to a s)perior b)t involves a t.o1.ay e7chan!e: the 2)nior or inferior bo.s do.n before an elder, and the elder places his or her hands on the 2)nior:s bo.ed head and offers blessin!s. *specially d)rin! rit)al !atherin!s, .hen relatives assembled from near and far, older people tended to sit and receive endless acts of %ran!m as they contin)o)sly !ave !entle blessin!s: 4+ay yo) be happy, may yo) live lon!, may yo) have a son, may yo) !et a 2ob, may yo)r health be !ood, may yo) have .ell1bein!.6 /t .as common to do %ran!m to ho)sehold elders each mornin! on risin!, to demonstrate respect and receive blessin!sN and 2)niors in +an!aldihi almost al.ays did %ran!m to their elders before embarkin! on any sort of 2o)rney, to receive blessin!s to help them on their .ay. +any families also saved photo!raphs or prints of their deceased elders: feet for the p)rpose of doin! %ran!m and receivin! ancestral blessin!s. *lders also !ave blessin!s .hen their 2)niors offered them acts of se& by massa!in! their feet, pl)ckin! their !ray hairs, providin! them food or special treats, and the like. /f the service or favor .as partic)larly lar!e and appreciated, s)ch as a !ift of a s.eet ripe man!o, then the strin! of blessin!s .as lon!er and more enth)siastic. -e mi!ht .ell .onder ho. old people, .ho .ere in many .ays tho)!ht to be 4dry6 ,2u/na0 and depleted, had the ability to bless and c)rse. Milla!ers most freG)ently e7plained these verbal po.ers by pointin! o)t the similarity of old people to !ods or t!h/urs, as 4above6 ,a%ar0 others, 4bi!6 ,"or!o0, 4increased6 ,"r!iddha0, and 4venerable6 ,guru'an0. L)st as !ods have the po.er to besto. blessin!s and

c)rses, so do old people .ith their !odlike G)alities. <lder people .ere also tho)!ht to be like ascetics in lifestyle and in their lar!ely .hite clothin!N and some noted that both matched the final, sannysa sta!e of the 2rama dharma schema. Peter van der Meer ,"D&D0 states that ascetics !ain po.ers to c)rse and bless lar!ely thro)!h practicin! a)sterities that transform se7)al heat into stored creative heat, or t%as, .hich can in t)rn be transformed into potent blessin!s and c)rses. Like ascetics, senior people in +an!aldihi .ere lar!ely celibate and removed from many of the heat1prod)cin! e7chan!es at the center of ho)sehold life. 9nd many told me that as the bodies of old people cooled ,as se7)al heat cooled0, their heads or minds ,mth0 co)ld remain hot, .hich often led to an!er or e7cesses of .ords. C)rses and blessin!s may be a manifestation of s)ch mental or verbal heat, one remainin! so)rce of potency that enabled elders to !ift their 2)niors, for !ood or ill. Some described old people as also havin! increased G)antities of 4.ind6 ,&ta0 in their bodies, a h)mor that is often associated .ith tro)blesome speech. So it may be a combination of factors that !ave the verbal emissions of the elderly s)ch destr)ctive or beneficial potency. /n addition to the ability to c)rse and bless, old people possessed other verbal capacities: they co)ld demand lo)dly that they be served, and they co)ld complain p)blicly8ca)sin! m)ch embarrassment for their families8that they are not bein! served .ell. (hro)!h case st)dies of several older people and their families in chapter #, / provide ill)strations of these kinds of verbal po.ers, .ielded very effectively. 9s Sylvia Mat)k ,"DD0:E#0 notes, ho.ever, many old people choose not to complain too p)blicly abo)t the inadeG)ate treatment they receive from 2)niors, for s)ch complaints make themselves and their entire families, not only the ne!li!ent 2)niors, look bad. Cinally, Ben!alis commonly vie. 4affection6 ,sneha0 as another !ift that flo.s do.n from seniors to 2)niors, movin! parallel to the 4respectf)l devotion6 ,"ha/t30 that their 2)niors offer )p to them. 9ffection and respectf)l devotion are both considered to be forms of 4love6 ,"hlo"s0 of the type !iven and received in hierarchical relationships, as bet.een parents and children and bet.een older and yo)n!er siblin!s ,see also /nden and Jicholas "DEE:2%O2D0. (h)s, many of the daily transactions practiced by 2)niors and seniors .ithin +an!aldihi families enforced hierarchical relations of the s)perior and older over the inferior and yo)n!er. -hat 2)niors !ave to seniors ,e.!., se&,%ran!m,"ha/t30 and .hat seniors !ave to 2)niors ,e.!., blessin!s, c)rses, affection0 .ere necessarily different8not eG)ivalent, as in transactions of lon!1term or deferred reciprocity disc)ssed above8beca)se of each party:s different stat)ses and capacities .ithin the hierarchy. *ven as the !ivers and receivers .ithin relations of deferred reciprocity reversed .hen elders moved to the peripheries of the ho)sehold and !ave )p many of their domestic po.ers, elders maintained their hierarchical position as s)periors. (his stat)s .o)ld never be reversed and in fact only seemed to increase, as persons !re. older and older ,and th)s more 4increased6 and !odlike0, and .ere then transformed into even more !odlike ancestors.

Re(i*ro(it&+ Centra'it&+ 0ierar(h&+ and M)t)a'it&6 As*e(ts o$ Fami'& Re'ations in Manga'dihi

/ have been describin! the .ays in .hich family relations .ere ordered and s)stained by parents and children, parents1in1la. and da)!hters1in1la., or seniors and 2)niors in +an!aldihi by means of different transactions8of bodies, blood, breast milk, food, material !oods, services, blessin!s, complaints8that in vario)s conte7ts helped establish reciprocity, centrality, and hierarchy ,see dia!rams 9, B, and C of fi!)re $0. (hese three forms of orderin! inter!enerational relations .ere cr)cial, / have ar!)ed, to ho. Ben!alis in +an!aldihi conceived of the nat)re of families, family moral systems, !ender differences, and .hat it is to be old.

Ci!)re $. 9spects of family relations in +an!aldihi. (hese diagrams were ins%ired "y ahe'a<s =Ordering o$ #astes and /insmen in .ahansu> ?@ABB:CDE, $ig. @DF / be!an the chapter .ith another important dimension of family relations, ho.ever, .hich / called 4m)t)ality6 ,see dia!ram B of fi!)re $0. Ielations of m)t)ality .ere also basic to constit)tin! and s)stainin! families in +an!aldihi. (hey incl)ded acts that .ere repeated daily, .ere completed immediately, .ere nonhierarchical, and involved a m)t)al e7chan!e of !oods and s)bstances8food, a ho)se, love, to)chin!, .ords8so that members of a ho)sehold or family came to be m)t)al parts of each other. S)ch m)t)al transactions incl)ded 4eatin! rice from the same pot6 ,e/i h7rite /hoy0N bein! part of a 4one rice ho)sehold6 ,e/anna"arti %ari"r0N livin! in the same ho)se ,"7ari or ghar0 and m)t)ally partakin! in its air, soil, .ealth, and spacesN !ivin! and receivin! a m)t)al, e!alitarian form of 4love6 ,"hlo"s0N to)chin!N and e7chan!in! .ords ,see table E0. .ediu Cood E. Ielations of +)t)ality of $ransaction $ransactors* 0a ily .e !er 1 0a ily .e !er Sharin! rice: eatin! rice from the same pot ,e/i hr!ite /hoy0, bein! part of a Zone rice ho)seholdZ ,e/nna"art3 %ari"r0 Livin! in the same ho)se, bein! the same Zho)se[s peopleZ ,gharer lo/, "r!ir lo/0 >ivin! and receivin! "hlo"s, m)t)al e!alitarian love +)t)al to)chin!, sittin! and sleepin! side by side, embracin!, etc. Conversation, !ossip, storytellin! pleasantries, etc.

3o)se Love (o)chin! -ords

Jote: (ransactions of m)t)ality are participated in by all members of a ho)sehold, not only ,or primarily0 by 2)niors and seniors. Seniors and 2)niors .ithin ho)seholds8even .hile en!a!in! in any of the other transactions not considered directly m)t)al8also participated in m)t)al !ivin!s and receivin!s. Parents, especially mothers, .ere tho)!ht to e7chan!e m)t)al e!alitarian love ,"hlo"s0 .ith their children, 2)st as they !ave and received forms of hierarchical love, sneha ,affection0 and "ha/t3 ,respectf)l devotion0. Like.ise, seniors did not merely !ive their 2)niors blessin!s, c)rses, reG)ests, commands, and complaints b)t en!a!ed them in verbal e7chan!es of a m)t)al nat)re, s)ch as conversation, !ossip and storytellin!, pleasantries, and the like. Children:s to)ch of their a!ed parents .as not limited to acts of %ran!m and the takin! of d)st from their feet, nor a!ed parents: to)ch of their children to placin! their hands on their children:s heads to bless themN b)t a!ed parents and yo)n!er children and !randchildren also to)ched one another as eG)als, by sittin! side by side, embracin!, and often ,especially !randparents and !randchildren0 sleepin! to!ether. C)rthermore, the !ivin! and receivin! of food and material !oods .ithin families .as not perceived only in terms of relations of deferred reciprocity and centrality, .ith ad)lt ho)seholders ,as those in the 4center60 the !ivers and all others ,elders, children, !)ests0 the peripheral receivers. (he food and .ealth of a family or ho)sehold .as also tho)!ht to be shared. *ven if one set of people acG)ired,

cooked, and served the food and others received it, "oth the !ivers and receivers .ere 4eatin! food from the same pot.6 S)ch m)t)al e7chan!es of love, .ords, body contact, food, and so on played a si!nificant role in ho. people in +an!aldihi defined .hat it .as to be a family or sam!sr. B)t these kinds of relations of m)t)ality .ere irrelevant to the positionin! of older people .ithin families. 9ll ho)sehold members, re!ardless of their phase .ithin a family cycle or de!ree of centrality or hierarchy, .ere tho)!ht to participate eG)ally in them. (o )nderstand ho. relations bet.een the older and the yo)n!er .ere constr)cted, perceived, and val)ed .ithin +an!aldihi families, .e m)st look beyond synchronic relations of m)t)ality to the kinds of diachronic orderin!s on .hich / have foc)sed in this chapter: those of deferred or lon!1term reciprocity, of centrality, and of hierarchy. (hese .ere the orderin!s that people in +an!aldihi stressed .hen they spoke of inter!enerational relations and .hen they practiced, in their everyday and rit)al lives, transactions that bo)nd to!ether persons across !enerations .ithin their families.

Notes
". S)san Bordo ,"DD#0 also makes a stron! ar!)ment a!ainst the 4absol)te hetero!eneity of c)lt)re.6 She ar!)es that a sole foc)s on hetero!eneity blinds )s to the fact that there are dominant, stron!ly 4normaliAin!6 forms people m)st contend .ith .ithin c)lt)res: 4(o str)!!le effectively a!ainst the coerciveness of those forms it is first necessary to reco!niAe that they ha&e dominance, and not to efface s)ch reco!nition thro)!h a facile and abstract celebration of Phetero!eneity,: Pdifference,: Ps)bversive readin!,: and so forth6 ,pp. 2DO#00. *. M. Baniel ,"DD':#'"O'20, too, disc)sses the interplay bet.een consens)s and contestation in c)lt)ral analysis. / e7plore these points a bit f)rther in the after.ord. 2. Both "ur!o and "r!iddha, .hich are commonly translated into *n!lish as 4senior6 or 4old,6 come from the same root: "r!, meanin! 4to !ro.6 or 4to increase.6 #. (he si!nificance of older .omen:s .hite clothin! .ill be disc)ssed f)rther in chapters $, ', and E. $. Cor acco)nts of the 2rama dharma schema in the dharma2stras, see ;ane ,"D'&OE%:vol. 20 and +an) ,"&&', "DD"0. %. /n the dharma2stra te7ts, the 2ramadharma schema specifically applies only to an )pper1caste man:s life. +an) devotes little attention to definin! the appropriate sta!es of a .oman:s life, .hich are determined by her relationships to the men on .hom she depends for s)pport and !)idance8her father, her h)sband, and finally her sons ,(he Gaws o$ Manu M."$&, +an) "&&':"D%, "DD":""%0. '. (he cate!ory of debt has a comple7 !enealo!y in So)th 9sian st)dies. +alamo)d ,"D&#0 and B)mont ,"D&#0 e7amine the theolo!y of debt in 3ind) te7t)al traditions, .hile 3ardiman:s analysis ,"DD'0 is part of his st)dy of the G)ality of po.er that )s)rers have e7ercised over s)baltern classes d)rin! the past several cent)ries in r)ral /ndia. / look here at local )nderstandin!s of debt as a means of bindin! family members across !enerations. E. /n chapter ' / disc)ss reprod)ctive processes in more detail. (he man is said to provide the 4seed6 ,"3' or 2u/ra0, .hich is the )ltimate so)rce of the body, b)t the .oman as the 4field6 ,/shetra0 also contrib)tes to the body by no)rishin! it .ith her )terine blood. &. (he Ben!ali term for 4child6 ,#hele0 is also that for 4son.6 3ere, >)r)saday +)kher2ee may have been e7pressin! the d)ty of children in !eneral to care for their a!ed parents, b)t it is also likely that he intended to fore!ro)nd sonsN for as this chapter !oes on to sho., it is primarily sons ,and da)!hters1in1 la.0 rather than da)!hters .ho are obli!ated to care for their parents in late life. D. /n fact, the obli!ation to be!et children, partic)larly sons, is vie.ed in 3ind) te7ts as one of the three

4debts6 ,r!n!as0 that )pper1caste or 4t.ice1born6 sons o.e their parents, ancestors, and !odsN the other t.o are st)dyin! the &eda, or reli!io)s kno.led!e, and performin! rit)al sacrifices ,e.!., see B)mont "D&#0. <nly one person in +an!aldihi, ho.ever, a man .ho sa. himself as a reli!io)s scholar, specifically spoke to me of these three debts. "0. 9s / disc)ss in chapter ', a married da)!hter does in many .ays become 4other6 ,%ar0 to her mother and natal kin. -hen a mother .ipes her da)!hter:s feet .ith hair, she simply lessens the severity of the c)t bet.een them. "". Ben!alis most commonly define /ut!um" as a class of relatives related by marria!e, altho)!h the cate!ory does not match that of 9merican relatives 4by marria!e,6 or 4in1la.s.6 Persons .ho are classified as /ut!um"s incl)de married da)!hters and sisters. Some people .hom 9mericans .o)ld consider related by marria!e, s)ch as a h)sband and .ife, or a married .omen and her h)sband:s parents, are for Ben!alis not /ut!um"s b)t rather ni'er lo/ ,o.n people0. See /nden and Jicholas ,"DEE:"%O"E0 as .ell as chapter ' for f)rther disc)ssion of s)ch relationships. "2. Jote here Saras.ati:s )se of t.o different terms to refer to divinity. Bhaga&n is )s)ally translated as 4>od6 and refers to deity in an )nspecified, formless sense. (!h/ur also means 4lord6 or 4!od,6 b)t )s)ally refers to a specific manifestation of a deity .ithin a visible form or mHrti, s)ch as the visible ima!es established .ithin temples. Senior people are most often referred to as t!h/urs, visible !ods, rather than as "haga&n, a formless >od. "#. (hese days, ho.ever, in keepin! .ith !ro.in! sensitivities abo)t class and caste hierarchies in -est Ben!al ,.hich are d)e partly to the stron! infl)ence of the Comm)nist Party0, people rarely speak of 4servin!6 their employersN instead, they 4.ork for6 them. Like.ise, the common terms for 4servant6 ,'hi for a female and #/ar for a male0 are )sed only rarely no.N they are !enerally replaced .ith the more ne)tral 4.ork person,6 /'er lo/.

82 Con$'i(ting ,enerations
Unre(i*ro(ated 0o)se$'ows in a Modern So(iet&
9t the same time that the people in -est Ben!al spoke to me of family moral systems that bo)nd persons to!ether across !enerations, they also .orried that the ties connectin! persons .ithin families .ere becomin! increasin!ly loose. / asked one old man, Iabilal, a +an!aldihi be!!ar of the +)ci ,leather.orkin!0 caste, .hat happens .hen someone !ets old, and he replied pessimistically, 4-hen yo) !et old, yo)r sons don:t feed yo) rice.6 (he yo)n! !irl .ho cleaned my home, Beli Ba!di, responded .hen / asked her .hat .o)ld happen to her .hen she became old: 4*ither my sons .ill feed me rice or they .on:tN there:s no certainty.6 /n Ben!al:s villa!es and cities, .anderin! be!!ars, mostly a!ed, drift from ho)se to ho)se in search of rice, a c)p of hot tea, or a fe. coins. <ld .ido.s dressed in .hite cro.d aro)nd the temples in pil!rima!e spots .aitin! for a handf)l of rice doled o)t once a day. (he openin! scenes of the pop)lar Ben!ali novel and film .ather .an#hali feat)re a stooped, toothless old .oman .ho, .ith no close livin! relatives, m)st .ander from ho)se to ho)se in her villa!e, constantly movin! on after the initial .elcome fades ,Bandyopadhyay "D'&0. (he po.erf)l "DD# doc)mentary Mo/sha ,Sal&ation0, directed by Panka2 B)talia, portrays destit)te Ben!ali .ido.s at a Brindaban ashramN they recall poi!nantly the fi!hts and re2ections they e7perienced in the homes of their sons and da)!hters1in1la., and their )tter loneliness in their separation from kin. /n this chapter, / e7plore family moral systems from the perspective of the problems and conflicts b)ilt into family relations, and in the process / also look at constr)ctions of modernity. Cor Ben!ali narratives of modernity center on ima!es of loose, )nconnected, )ncared1for old persons, .ho become

paradi!matic si!ns of a .ider problem of a disinte!ratin! 4modern6 ,dhuni/0 society. H H H

Contrar& )''s
9ccordin! to the Ben!alis / kne., family conflicts .ere the most common so)rce of affliction facin! people in old a!e. Co)r kinds of inter!enerational relations seemed to !enerate the most problems: relations bet.een mothers1in1la. ,22ur!30 and da)!hters1in1la. ,"ou0, bet.een mothers and married sons, bet.een fathers and sons, and bet.een mothers and married da)!hters. +an!aldihians vie.ed these fo)r dyadic bonds as partic)larly prone to atten)ation, partly beca)se of their tendency to conflict .ith other family bonds. 9s +ar!aret (ra.ick ,"DD0b:"%E0 .rites abo)t (amil families: 49t certain times in his or her life, ?the@ different kinds of bonds ?bet.een !enerations, bet.een siblin!s, and bet.een spo)ses@ are likely to p)ll an individ)al in different directions. 9s one bond !ro.s closer, another may stretch and break, and someone may be left o)t in the cold.6 / .as told that bonds bet.een !enerations .ere especially v)lnerable, as members of each !eneration moved on to ne. phases of life and the 4p)lls6 ,t!n0 of the relationships that these life phases entail. -hen a son t)rns to.ard his .ife, he may t)rn a.ay from his mother. -hen a da)!hter1in1la. t)rns to.ard her o.n children, she may ne!lect her parents1in1la.. -hen a da)!hter moves to her h)sband:s home, she becomes lar!ely 4other6 to her parents. /f a father t)rns to.ard >od and death, he abandons his mo)rnin! sons. /n addition, there are f)ndamental problems in ho. relations of inter!enerational reciprocity, and family ,re0prod)ction and e7chan!e systems, are str)ct)red in -est Ben!al. (he .hole system8as / be!an to e7plore in the previo)s chapter, and as .ill become more clear belo.8pivots on a kind of contradiction, as families send their 4o.n6 ,ni'er0 da)!hters a.ay to become 4other6 ,%ar0 and brin! 4other6 .omen into their ho)ses to become 4o.n.6 (he .omen on .hom families depend to prod)ce sons and provide m)ch of the labor of carin! for elders are th)s perceived8by both themselves and others8to be partly 4o.n6 and yet at the same time still 4other.6 (his ambi!)ity in the position of .omen .ithin ho)seholds, .e .ill see, .as the so)rce of many of the conflicts and r)pt)res .ithin Ben!ali families.

Mothers4in4Law and 5a)ghters4in4Law 9The *rob'em o$ bringing in women $rom :other; ho)ses<
(he family relationship perhaps most fra)!ht .ith tension and contrary p)lls, and the one most often blamed by +an!aldihians for the ne!lect of elders, .as that bet.een mother1in1la. ,22ur!30 and da)!hter1in1la. ,"ou or "oum0.?"@ +others realiAe .hen they brin! a ne. .ife into the ho)sehold that they .ill be lar!ely dependent on her for their .ell1bein! in old a!e. Ba)!hters1in1la. cook, serve food, clean clothin!, lay o)t beds for sleepin!, massa!e cramped le!s, and comb hair. /t is they .ho .ill event)ally control most of the ho)sehold affairs, and decide either to provide or not to provide the day1to1day service ,se&0 to f)lfill their mothers1in1la.:s needs and desires. 9 da)!hter1in1la. may also have the po.er to take a son:s loyalties a.ay from his parents and even to pers)ade the son to be!in a separate ho)sehold of his o.n. +others are th)s nervo)s .hen they arran!e their sons: marria!es. (hey search caref)lly for a "ou .ho .ill be deferential, .ho .ill be loyal to her elders, and .ho kno.s ho. to .ork and to serve .ell. B)t they never kno. for s)re. 49fter all,6 one .oman e7plained, 4my son:s .ife is not my o.n belly:s da)!hter ,mr ni'er %et!er meye nae0N she is the da)!hter of another ho)se ,anya gharer meye0.6 B)rin! the first years after a .oman:s marria!e, ho.ever, it is the da)!hter1in1la. ,"ou0 .ho lives )nder the a)thority of her mother1in1la. ,22ur!30. 9 mother1in1la. !enerally maintains control over domestic affairs for several years after a son:s marria!e, and she therefore determines .hich ho)sehold

chores the "ou performs, .hether and .here the "ou can come and !o from the ho)sehold, and .hen and if she may spend time alone .ith her h)sband. B)rin! this time, the mother1in1la. and da)!hter1 in1la. relationship can be very lovin! and tender. +any .omen told me stories of ho. !ood their 22ur!3s had been to them .hen they .ere yo)n! and first married, and several compared their 22ur!3s to their o.n mothers. Some, .ho had been married before adolescence, spoke of sleepin! at ni!ht .ith their 22ur!3s for several years, )ntil they .ere !ro.n eno)!h to sleep .ith their h)sbandsN and one, as / noted earlier, told me that she had even n)rsed at her 22ur!3:s breasts .hen she had been married years a!o at only five. B)t the 22ur!31"ou relationship can also be a very diffic)lt and bitter one for a yo)n! da)!hter1in1la.. +any complained that their mothers1in1la. ordered them aro)nd )nfairly, treated them like servants ,ds3s0, and prevented them from !ettin! close to their ne. h)sbands. /ndeed, a yo)n! h)sband and .ife !enerally .ill not spend m)ch time at all to!ether d)rin! the day, and .hen they are in the presence of others they may not e7chan!e more than a .ord or t.o. S)ch reticence demonstrates the yo)n! co)ple:s modesty, as .ell as ens)rin! that the ne. "ou .ill form stron! relationships .ith other ho)sehold members and not an e7cl)sive one .ith her h)sband. Us)ally the ne. h)sband and .ife .ill have a separate room to share at ni!ht, b)t a 22ur!3 .ill often keep her ne. "ou )p later than anyone else in the ho)sehold and have her rise the earliest, thereby minimiAin! the time she can spend alone .ith her h)sband. <lder .omen told me stories abo)t ho. their 22ur!3s )sed to !)ard their activities o)tside of the ho)se as .ell, follo.in! them to the bathin! ght! ,bank of a river or pond0 and back .ith a stick to make s)re that they did not loiter or talk to any men alon! the .ay. Several local tales ill)strate this vision of the 22ur!3 as a dominant near1tyrant r)lin! over her s)bmissive and fearf)l "ous. 9 !ro)p of married and )nmarried .omen of my nei!hborhood told me one s)ch story one afternoon as .e sat cas)ally talkin! over tea. /t .as ostensibly abo)t ho. musurd!Il, a favorite Ben!ali p)lse, came to be red1oran!e in color and a 4nonve!etarian6 ,7as!0 food, b)t it also conveys a !reat deal abo)t 22ur!31"ou relations. (he story .ent like this: <ne day a 22ur!3 told her "oum to h)sk some musurd!Il. She told her to brin! at least one kilo!ram to her .hen she .as done. So the "ou .ent off to do her task. She soon realiAed .ith dismay, tho)!h, that the h)sked d!Il .o)ld not come o)t to be a f)ll kilo!ram. -hat .o)ld her 22ur!3 do5 <)t of fear of her 22ur!3 the "oum took her little son and c)t him )p into bits to mi7 .ith the d!Il. (he blood from her son mi7ed .ith the d!Il, and this is ho. it became 7s! ?or mis!, 4nonve!etarian6@ and ho. it !ot its reddish color. 4=o) see,6 one .oman interr)pted, 4ho. fearf)l "oums )sed to be of their 22ur!3s5 (hat she .o)ld even kill her son o)t of fear of not complyin! .ith her 22ur!3:s reG)est56 (he teller .ent on: (he ne7t mornin! a bird called o)t, as it still does today, 4 .ye %ar!a ut!h %utuJ .ye %ar!a ut!h %utuJ 6 .hich means, 4>et )p, little boyS >et )p, little boyS6 ?2@ B)t ho. co)ld he !et )p5 3e .as dead. (he 22ur!3 then fo)nd o)t .hat had happened, and she .as even more enra!ed .ith her "ou. 4So, yo) see,6 she ended, 4/t:s bad if yo) don:t obey yo)r 22ur!3 and it:s even .orse if yo) do.6 >loria Iahe2a and 9nn >old ,"DD$0 have also compiled many vivid stories of this sort, depictin! yo)n! da)!hters1in1la.:s ambivalent attit)des to.ard their senior marital kin. B)t !rad)ally the tides chan!e. *vent)ally it is the "ou .ho has control over ho)sehold affairs, .ho makes decisions abo)t .ho .ill do .hat .hen and .ho .ill eat .hat .hen. (he years of transition, .hile the mother1in1la. slo.ly !ives )p control and the eldest da)!hter1 or da)!hters1in1la. take over, can be f)ll of t)m)lt)o)s str)!!le and competition. B)rin! this phase, the da)!hters1in1la. are no

lon!er so ne. and meek that they cannot fi!ht back, and the mothers1in1la. are not yet so feeble that their .ords and .ills have no po.er. (he res)lt .as some of the fiercest ar!)ments in +an!aldihi ho)seholds. / .o)ld often hear from nearby ho)ses and co)rtyards the attendant screamin!, pan thro.in!, and .ailin!. -omen and children from nei!hborin! ho)seholds .o)ld cro.d aro)nd to .atchN b)t others .o)ld shr)! their sho)lders and say, 4+other1in1la. and da)!hter1in1la. are G)arrelin! a!ain6 ,22ur!38"ou 'hagra /ar#he0, as if to imply, 4-hat else is ne.56 -hen a mother1in1la. finally ceases to control ho)sehold affairs, she becomes dependent on her "ou or "ous for her .ell1bein!, 2)st as her "ous .ere once dependent on her. Some mothers1in1la. tenderly praise the lovin!, selfless care their "ous provide for them. B)t, more than anyone else, it is the "ou .hom mothers1in1la. blame for their )nhappy, ne!lected old a!e. (.o old .omen of +an!aldihi )sed to !et to!ether almost daily at the bathin! !hat to commiserate abo)t their "ous and ar!)e over .hose "ou .as .orse. People .o)ld tell me to !o listen to them to learn abo)t ho. "ous mistreat their 22ur!3s, and ho. 22ur!3s never cease to criticiAe their "ous. 3o)ses th)s !ive each other .omen from .hom they demand the most selfless devotion and e7act the most onero)s ho)sehold labor, thereby e7tractin! val)e from those .ho are in many .ays 4other6 than their o.n. /t is a little like takin! a servant and, as .e sa. in chapter 2, the process of brin!in! a .ife into the home is rit)ally referred to as 2)st that: a !room tells his mother three times, 4/:m !oin! to brin! yo) a servant6 ,tomr ds3 nte '"o0. L)st as +an!aldihi villa!ers .ere never G)ite s)re .hether they co)ld tr)st their servants to be honest, hard.orkin!, loyal, and devoted, many felt that they co)ld not really tr)st their da)!hters1in1la.. ,9s one .oman e7plained, 4Ba)!hters don:t even look after their o.n parentsN ho. can .e e7pect a da)!hter1in1la. to look after her parents1in1la.560 9nd 2)st as servants themselves often feel e7ploited, yo)n! .ives freG)ently complain of bein! forced to labor too hard. /t is not )ntil a .oman has lived thro)!h the period as a yo)n! da)!hter1in1la., has prod)ced and raised sons of her o.n, and has finally bro)!ht her o.n da)!hters1in1la. into the home that she f)lly becomes one of the 4o.n people6 ,ni'er lo/0 of a ho)sehold. /t is then that she herself m)st contend .ith brin!in! 4other6 .ives into her ho)se for her sons.

Mothers and Married Sons 9The *rob'em o$ )nre(i*ro(ated ho)se$'ows<

9ccordin! to the family moral systems 2)st described, .omen are e7pected first to serve others in their ho)seholds as yo)n! .ives and da)!hters1in1la., and then to "e served as older mothers and mothers1 in1la.. (his shift from servin! to bein! served takes place after the .ife prod)ces a son, the hoped1for o)tcome of the movement of .omen from ho)se to ho)se. (he bond bet.een mother and son, accordin! to many of the villa!e men and .omen / spoke .ith, is stron!er than all other h)man bonds. Sons come from deepest .ithin their mother:s body, from her .omb or nr!3, and th)s e7perience a tremendo)s 4p)ll of the .omb6 ,nr!3r t!n0 for her. 9 mother:s milk is also a special s)bstance, mi7ed .ith the mother:s love ,"hlo"s0 and distilled from her body:s blood ,ra/ta0, .hich creates a !reat p)ll ,t!n0 of affection and attachment ,my0 bet.een her and her children. +oreover, a son often does not move a.ay from his mother at marria!e as a da)!hter does, b)t lives in the same home .ith her for the rest of her life. Jonetheless, older .omen in Ben!al told me many personal and folkloric narratives that pointed not to the d)rability of the mother1son bond b)t to its potential to be loosened or broken. (his breakin! .as framed most commonly as a fail)re of reciprocity: the ho)seflo.s8!ifts of !oods, services, and love that s)stain homes and relationships8are blocked before they can flo. back )p to the mother. +others told of ho. they po)red o)t their breast milk, love, material .ealth, and service to their sons and to others for their entire lives, b)t in the end they received nothin! in ret)rn. *ven villa!e men often spoke

to me of the service ,se&0 .omen !ive thro)!ho)t their lives, a service )neG)aled by .hat they receive. <lder .omen in +an!aldihi )s)ally blamed s)ch fail)res of reciprocation on their sons: .ives. 9t the center of the complicated relationship bet.een mother1in1la. and da)!hter1in1la. is the man .ho is the mother:s son and the .ife:s h)sband. 9 .ife is bro)!ht into the ho)se in order to serve her mother1 in1la. and bear children to contin)e the family lineN b)t she also often replaces her mother1in1la. as the primary n)rt)rer and most intimate partner of the son. (he mother and .ife may compete for years for the son:s and h)sband:s attention and loyalty. Sometimes the mother .ins: / kne. one son .ho .as so devoted to his .ido.ed mother that his .ife ended )p leavin! them, ret)rnin! to her father:s ho)se .ith their yo)n! da)!hter. +any told me that the bond bet.een h)sband and .ife is m)ch more fra!ile than that bet.een mother and son. Crom a mother:s perspective, ho.ever, it is more often the da)!hter1in1la. .ho tri)mphs in the str)!!le to !ain her son:s affections. (hak)rma .as a ;ayastha ,hi!h1caste0 .ido., nearly one h)ndred years old, .ho lived in Batikar, a lar!e villa!e near +an!aldihi. She en2oyed talkin! abo)t the problems of old mothers, their sons, and their da)!hters1in1la.. She herself .as pro)d to live in a lar!e ancestral home .ith fo)r !enerations of descendants still eatin! rice to!ether from the same potN b)t she said .ith sadness that she had seen d)rin! her lon! life the .ay so many other sons and "ous for!ot their mothers .hen they !re. old: 4+others raise their children .ith s)ch effort and pain. B)t the children don:t even reco!niAe their parents .hen they !ro. )p. Children are created from their father:s blood, and they come from their mother:s deepest insides .ithin the .omb. (he mother feeds them her breast milk and cleans )p their )rine and e7crement. B)t does the son no. remember those days5 Jo. (he mother )ses all of her .ealth to raise and ed)cate her son, b)t at the end he !ives nothin! back to her.6She then be!an tellin! a story to ill)strate these .ays of mothers and sons, and the role "ous play in tearin! sons a.ay from their mothers:?#@ (here .as once a mother .ho raised her only son .ith m)ch effort and s)fferin!. She )sed all of her .ealth to feed him .hen he .as yo)n! and to !ive him a !ood ed)cationN b)t in the end he !ave nothin! back to her. -hen he !re. )p and she !ave his marria!e, he and his .ife left her alone and .ent to spend all of their time travelin! aro)nd here and there. So .hat co)ld the mother do5 She ended )p as a be!!ar. 9fter a .hile she made her .ay to Bakresbar ?a local Saivite pil!rima!e spot@ and there she lined )p every day .ith all of the other old be!!ars .ith her be!!in! bo.l in front of her. <ne day it happened that her son and his .ife .ent on a trip to Bakresbar. (here the son:s mother .as sittin! as )s)al in a line .ith all of the other be!!ars alon! the path to the bathin! area. Can a mother ever for!et her son5 Jever. B)t the son did not reco!niAe his mother. 3e dropped a coin into her be!!in! dish, and at this moment, his mother called him by his name, the name she had called him .hen he .as a child. 3e .as startledN he kne. that no one kne. this name b)t his mother. 3e .as abo)t to stop and say somethin! to her, b)t his .ife .o)ld not let him stand there. She p)lled on his arm and said, 4=o) don:t have to talk .ith that old .oman,6 and she led him a.ay. 4So, yo) see,6 the old .ido. closed .ith a si!h, 4mothers raise their sons .ith s)ch tremendo)s effort and pain, b)t the sons for!et ,mr #heleder "ahut /as!t!a /are mnus! /are, /intu #heler mane r/he n0.6 9nother .oman8Billo:s +a, a Ba!di .ido. .ith fo)r married sons8spoke to me bitterly of ho. her sons had t)rned from her no. that they had families of their o.n. She lived in a compo)nd .ith three of her sons and their .ives, b)t she had a small h)t of her o.n .here she slept and cooked separately, s)pportin! herself mea!erly by makin! co. d)n! patties for f)el for .ealthier Brahman ho)seholds.

She told me first, .ith !reat emotion and at times breakin! into tears, of raisin! her fo)r sons and t.o da)!hters all alone after her h)sband had died. /n order to !et food and clothin! for her children, she had labored every day in .ealthy people:s homes and fields, and sold the fe. ornaments she had bro)!ht .ith her from her parents: ho)se as a bride. B)t then, she said .ith cha!rin, +y sons all !re. )p, and / !ave all their .eddin!s. 9ll of them have their o.n families, and no. to .hose do / belon!5 Jo. .hose am / ,ei "r mi /oth/r /e05 / am no lon!er anyone ,r to mi /eu nay0. Jo. one son is sayin!, 4/ came from a hole in the !ro)nd.6 9nother is sayin!, 4/ fell from the sky.6 9nother is sayin!, 4/ came from >od.6 9nd yet another is sayin!, 4+y hands and feet came on their o.nN / !re. )p on my o.n.6 -ho am / no.5 /:m speakin! the tr)th. -hat kind of thin! is a mother5F Listen. / have fo)r sons. /f they had all lived in one place, that .o)ld have been !ood, .o)ldn:t it5 /f they .o)ld all come to eat ?to!ether@. /f they .o)ld take the money they earned, p)t it into my hand and say, 4+a, .ill yo) handle this for me56 (hen my heart .o)ld have been happy. B)t no., .hatever yo)r brothers ?i.e., her sons@ brin! home8.ho do they !ive it to5 their mother5 or their .ives5 3)h5 / asked, 4=o) mean yo)r sons !ive everythin! to their .ives56 Billo:s +a ans.ered, 4=es. (hey have their o.n families and their o.n .ork. 3o. .ill / take anythin! from them56 /n these t.o stories, a mother yearns for intimacy .ith her son or sons, b)t her sons abandon and for!et her. (hey present a seG)ence of events familiar in others / heard told by and abo)t old mothers: 9 mother sacrifices everythin! for her son, b)t )ltimately there is a fail)re of reciprocity. -hen the son !ro.s )p, he !ives nothin! back to her. (he son t)rns from his mother to his .ife, and in the end he for!ets her alto!ether. Bein! abandoned and for!otten by her son in this .ay, the mother is stripped not only of material s)pport b)t also of her identity as a mother. She is left .ith no option other than to become one in an indistin!)ishable line of old be!!ars, literally or metaphorically. +oreover, the blame in s)ch stories )s)ally falls more on the son:s .ife than on the son. Cor altho)!h the son abandons and for!ets his mother, it is often the son:s wi$e .ho plays the active role in leadin! him a.ay. (he theme of the immense self1sacrifice of .omen as mothers, co)pled .ith the fail)re of reciprocity and betrayal by sons, s)rfaces po.erf)lly as .ell in a modern Ben!ali short story called 4Stanadayini6 ,4Breast1>iver60 by +ahas.eta Bevi ,"D&&0. /t centers on Lashoda, a poor r)ral Brahman .oman, mother of t.enty and n)rsemaid of thirty more, .ho spends her life po)rin! o)t her body:s milk to no)rish her o.n and her master:s children. B)t in the end she is abandoned by them all. -hen she becomes old and can no lon!er reprod)ce or n)rse, her almost fifty sons all for!et her, and her breasts 8the distin!)ishin! or!an of the .oman as mother8become the site of )!ly, festerin!, cancero)s sores. Lashoda cries, 4+)st / finally sit by the roadside .ith a tin c)p56 ,p. 2#$0, and then moans spiritlessly, 4/f yo) s)ckle yo):re a mother, all liesS Jepal and >opal ?t.o of her sons@ don:t look at me, and the +aster:s boys don:t spare a peek to ask ho. /:m doin!.6 -e are told, 4(he sores on her breast kept mockin! her .ith a h)ndred mo)ths, a h)ndred eyes6 ,p. 2#'0. /n the end, Lashoda dies alone and .itho)t identity, save a ta! markin! her as 43ind) female,6 and she is cremated by an )nto)chable. (he a)thor vie.s the narrative as a parable of /ndia8seen as mother1by1hire8after decoloniAation. /f nothin! is !iven back to /ndia as mother, then she like Lashoda .ill die of a cons)min! cancer ,Spivak "D&&:2$$0. B)t / also hear in this story of the breast1!iver the voices of older mothers in Ben!al, .ho lament in their o.n oral tales: ho. fickle and short1lived are the 2oys of motherhoodS ho. .omen as mothers !ive of themselves their .hole lives and receive nothin! in ret)rnS -e m)st remember, ho.ever, that most older .omen in +an!aldihi, even those .ho told stories of be!!ared and for!otten mothers, .ere not for!otten or ne!lected ,at least in any blatant .ay0 by their

sons and sons: .ives. (he ima!e of the mother as be!!ar .orks more here as a metaphor conveyin! a loss of love. +others .ill al.ays love and !ive to their children more than they are loved and !iven to in ret)rn. -omen as .ives and mothers !ive all of their lives, never receivin! as m)ch as they have !iven.

Fathers and Sons 9The *rob'em o$ a son who is more 'o&a' to his wi$e than to his $ather<
(he Ben!ali people / kne. did not !enerally perceive fathers to be .idely threatened by ne!lect in old a!e. <nly a fe. older men complained to me of inadeG)ate treatment by their children, compared to the co)ntless mothers and mothers1in1la. / heard. C)rthermore, the t.o homes for the a!ed in Calc)tta called Javanir ,Je. Jest08in "DD0, the only s)ch homes in Calc)tta for non1Christians8.ere filled .ith .omen. <f their "20 residents in "DD0, only E .ere men. (he residents of the instit)tions as .ell as the directors told me that there is no !reat need for old a!e homes for men in -est Ben!al, for most old men are taken care of by their families .ithin their o.n ho)seholds. <ne of the reasons for this disparity is that most men retain at least nominal control over a ho)sehold:s property and money )ntil they die. By contrast, .omen in Ben!al rarely o.n or control property in their o.n ri!ht, altho)!h some do inherit property from their fathers, especially if their fathers had no sons. Some, too, have infl)ence over their h)sbands: property .hile their h)sbands are alive. B)t even tho)!h Ben!al has la.s reG)irin! that .ido.s inherit a portion of their h)sbands: property, virt)ally no one, in +an!aldihi at least, follo.s them. <lder .ido.s almost )niformly t)rn over any property ,either by verbal a!reement or le!al transfer0 to their sons .hen their h)sbands die, if their h)sbands have not already done so directly. /n "DD0, o)t of a total of ##% ho)seholds in +an!aldihi, only "E .ere considered to be headed by .omen ,that is, .ith .omen in control of the ho)sehold property0. (hese incl)ded eleven Ba!di, t.o Santal, t.o +)slim, one ;)l), and one +)ci ho)sehold ,note the total absence of hi!h1caste 3ind) ho)seholds0, all of .hich .ere headed by .ido.s, most of .hom either had no sons or .hose sons .ere not yet !ro.n and married.?$@ +any villa!ers told me, .ith some re!ret and cynicism, that only those .ho have their o.n financial reso)rces can e7pect !ood treatment in old a!eN?%@ by this lo!ic, more men can be e7pected to be treated .ell than .omen. Possession of property, like the capacity to bless, can be )sed as a form of levera!eN the holder can promise a f)t)re inheritance to those .ho serve him .ell in old a!e. <lder people .ith property may also contrib)te economic reso)rces to the ho)sehold f)nds to help defray the cost of carin! for them. C)rthermore, men m)ch less often than .omen are left .itho)t a spo)se or descendants to perform the act)al labor of providin! care in old a!e. Beca)se men are )s)ally several years older than their .ives, the ma2ority of Ben!ali .omen o)tlive their h)sbands to become .ido.sN most men live thro)!h their old a!e still married. 9dditionally, if a man:s first .ife dies at a yo)n! a!e or is barren he may easily remarry in the hopes of prod)cin! sons, b)t the ma2ority of Ben!ali .omen ,especially if )pper caste0, once married, never a!ain remarry, even if their h)sbands die or abandon them childless ,see chapter E0. 9nd the villa!e men .ith .hom / spoke seemed to vie. the father1son bond as )niG)ely end)rin! and almost sacred. 9ccordin! to dominant patrilineal disco)rse in +an!aldihi, father and son are both central, str)ct)ral parts of the same contin)in! linea!e or "am!2a ,literally, 4bamboo60. Like bamboo, .hich is a series of contin)o)sly linked and !ro.in! nodes, the "am!2a .as re!arded as a contin)in! s)ccession of linked fathers, sons, and .ives. 9 "am!2a incl)des the male line of descendants from a common 4seed6 ancestor ,"3'8%urus!0, to!ether .ith their inmarryin! .ives and )nmarried da)!hters.?'@ -omen th)s come and !o to and from this line, b)t fathers and sons e7tend it.

(he bond bet.een fathers and sons also lasts after death, as fathers ,and then later their sons0 are transformed into ancestors and no)rished by sons and sons: sons. -omen, in contrast, become end)rin! ancestors not in their o.n ri!ht, b)t only as parts of their h)sbands ,see chapter %0. (h)s by s)pportin! and rememberin! partic)larly $athers, as old men and then as ancestors ,%itr!, literally 4father60, sons s)stain their o.n selves, for both fathers and sons make )p the same "am!2a. 9ll of these factors8a man:s !reater chances of havin! control over property, a livin! .ife, sons, and a lastin! place in the family line8contrib)ted to local perceptions that older men tend to be served and remembered by their sons, both in old a!e and after death. (o be s)re, there are e7ceptions: fathers and sons may G)arrel and break their tiesN sons may cease to feed their fathers rice. Sometimes these r)pt)res and omitted transactions are ca)sed by poverty. /n several ho)seholds in +an!aldihi, sons may have .ished to feed their a!ed fathers b)t simply lacked the reso)rces to do so. Iabilal, a be!!ar of the +)ci ,leather.orkin!0 caste, .as one s)ch ne!lected father. 3e himself had become too old and blind to .orkN his .ife str)!!led in the fields as a day laborer to earn a mea!er bit of money for both of them, b)t it .as )s)ally not eno)!h. Iabilal .o)ld moan, 4*ven no. that / am old, my sons don:t feed me rice,6 and he .andered thro)!h the villa!e every day be!!in! for rice and leftovers from cooked meals. / also .itnessed a fe. serio)s fi!hts in +an!aldihi ho)seholds bet.een fathers and sons, tho)!h )nlike frays bet.een mothers1in1la. and "ous, these .ere not re!arded as everyday occ)rrences. Biscord most commonly arose over money and sons: .ives. (he most serio)s father1son altercation that took place .hile / .as in +an!aldihi t)rned into a ma2or villa!e event beca)se of its )n)s)al severity. People dropped their .ork, cro.ded aro)nd to .atch, and talked abo)t it for days after.ard. (he fi!ht took place in a Brahman ho)sehold in a nei!hborhood borderin! the one / lived in. <ne mornin! the ho)sehold:s only "ou, a .oman / .ill call P)rnima, .as cookin! in a room .ith a tin roof. 3er father1in1la., Satyabrata Chatter2ee, came into the room and complained that the smoke from the cookin! fire .as r)inin! the roof. P)rnima and her father1in1la. be!an to ar!)e an!rily, and P)rnima became so enra!ed that she 2)mped )p and str)ck her father1in1la. on the head .ith the bl)nt end of a lar!e iron kitchen knife. 3er father1in1la. be!an to beat her. 9t this point, P)rnima:s h)sband, Ben), stepped in to defend his .ifeN he repeatedly hit his father .ith a .ooden pole, and the old man:s head .as soon bleedin! heavily. Crom .here / .as standin!, on a nei!hbor:s roof, / co)ld hear .hat so)nded like the th)ddin! so)nds of flesh bein! beaten, alon! .ith terrible sho)tin!. Several other .omen .ere .atchin! .ith me on the roof, b)t most of the nei!hborhood:s yo)n! men and children had r)shed )p to the ho)sehold .here the fi!ht .as takin! place. +y yo)n! .ork !irl, Beli, ran back to report e7citedly to )s that the son, Ben), had cracked his father:s head open, and that the father .o)ld most certainly dieN b)t .e fo)nd o)t shortly after.ard that the man had s)ffered only a fe., relatively minor, c)ts on his head. Cinally, after the father:s yo)n!est son, Bapi, had 2)mped in to defend his father and beat his older brother:s .ife, nei!hbors p)lled the family apart, and the eldest son Ben) fled .ith his .ife to a nei!hborin! relative:s ho)se. 9lmost immediately, representative men from all of the nei!hborhood ho)seholds ,most of .hom .ere from the same "hiyat, or male linea!e !ro)p0 !athered to!ether on the veranda of another ho)se to disc)ss .hat sho)ld be done .ith P)rnima and her h)sband. (his sort of !atherin! periodically occ)rred in +an!aldihi .hen family or nei!hborhood problems arose. / listened from the sidelines .ith several other .omen, incl)din! P)rnima herself, .ho .as still distra)!ht and s.eatin! prof)sely from her e7ertions. / soon learned that P)rnima had never !otten alon! .ith her parents1in1la., and partic)larly her father1in1la., d)rin! the ten years of her marria!e. Iecently thin!s had !ro.n even .orse. 3er father1in1la. had taken o)t a loan of three tho)sand r)pees ,abo)t one h)ndred dollars0 from the bank and he had asked his son Ben) to co1si!n the loan .ith him. B)t the father had not been

able to make the loan payments, so recently the bank had been after Ben) for the money. Ben) himself .as .itho)t a 2ob and had no income of his o.n, save the pittance he earned from foldin! pieces of ne.spaper into small paper sacks to be )sed as !rocery ba!s at local stores. (his arran!ement bet.een Ben) and his father th)s in itself constit)ted an inappropriate reversal of father1son relations: even tho)!h the father .as still the reco!niAed head of the ho)sehold ,/art0, he .as seekin! to sec)re money from his still )nemployed and )npropertied son. So the b)rden had fallen on Ben):s .ife P)rnima to !et money from her o.n father to help s)pport them, and to pay back the loan. /n this .ay, da)!hters1in1la. in the re!ion often contin)ed to act as cond)its bet.een families, as they dre. on .ealth from their fathers: homes to brin! to their fathers1in1 la.. B)t her position an!ered and embarrassed P)rnima, .ho s)ffered an )nendin! stream of ins)lts abo)t her in1la.s from her father:s family. (ensions bet.een the da)!hter1in1la. and the rest of her in1 la.s ,aside from her h)sband, .ho .as very devoted to her0 had therefore hei!htened considerably. (he men .ho !athered primarily blamed the 4tro)blemakin!6 ,"admi20 "ou, P)rnima, for the conflict, and several ,incl)din! her father1in1la.0 s)!!ested that she no lon!er be allo.ed to live in the villa!e. <thers proposed a more moderate co)rse of action, .hich finally prevailed: the yo)n! co)ple, .ith their one son, .o)ld separate completely from the father1in1la.:s ho)sehold. Several of the nei!hborhood men .ent over to the family:s ho)se and removed all of Ben) and P)rnima:s thin!s. (hey p)t the co)ple:s possessions in a small, one1room h)t ad2oinin! the main ho)se and r)mma!ed )p a lock for the ne. place. (hey then told the members of the separate ho)seholds to stay a.ay from each other. 9nd so the conflict .as settled, b)t not .itho)t ca)sin! a ho)sehold to break )p and providin! days of disc)ssion. 9ltho)!h the villa!e people did insist that the father, Satyabrata, shared in the blame or fa)lt ,dos!0 for the fi!ht, they mostly condemned P)rnima, callin! her a 4tro)blemaker6 by nat)re. (hey .o)ld say, 4/sn:t it horrible that a "ou co)ld hit her o.n 2&a2ur ,father1in1la.05 that she co)ld ca)se her h)sband to hit his o.n father on the head5 ChiS ChiS (his is a !reat sin ,mah%%0S6 P)rnima:s h)sband Ben) !enerally .as fo)nd to be lar!ely innocent, a naive and simple ,saral0 type ca)!ht )p in a mess bet.een his .ife and fatherN villa!ers felt compassion and tenderness ,my0 for him. /t is very sad to see a father and son become separate ,%r!tha/0, they said, over a .ife. Iabindranath (a!ore:s 4Sampatti1SamarpanY6 ,4(he S)rrenderin! of -ealth6N "D2':$&O%$0 also deals .ith the theme of tensions that r)pt)re the ties bet.een fathers and sons. (he story, set in late1 nineteenth1cent)ry r)ral Ben!al, portrays a son .ho abandons his father over a disa!reement abo)t his .ife. (he father lives .ith his son, "oum, and !randson. (he father is old, b)t he maintains a firm position as head of the ho)sehold and mana!es all of the ho)sehold f)nds .ith a miserly strictness. <ne day his "oum becomes very ill, and the son tries to pers)ade his father to spend the money to take her to an allopathic doctor. B)t the father insists that s)ch e7penses are not necessary, and he instead brin!s a traditional 9y)rvedic doctor, or /a"ir', .ith ine7pensive herbal medicines to heal her. 9fter this treatment, the .ife dies. (he son, deeply pained at the loss, blames his father: he leaves, takin! his only son .ith him. (he villa!ers .ho .atch these events )nfold provide a r)nnin! commentary. 9s .ith similar dramatic family events in +an!aldihi, all the entertainin! commotion !ives the villa!ers some pleas)reN b)t after the yo)n!er man leaves, they sympathiAe .ith the abandoned father abo)t the 4sorro. of separatin! from a son6 ,%utra"i##hed du/ha0. (hey cl)ck their ton!)es .ith amaAement and disapproval that the son co)ld have val)ed his relationship .ith his .ife more than that .ith his father. (he villa!ers e7claim: 49 son takin! leave of his father over s)ch a trivial thin! like a .ifeS (his co)ld only happen in these ?i.e., modern@ times.6 (hey add: 4/f one .ife dies, another .ife can be collected before lon!. B)t if a father !oes, no matter ho. m)ch one tears o)t one:s hair, another father can never be obtained6 ,(a!ore "D2':$D0. (he story:s plot is G)ite complicated, b)t in essence thin!s !o from bad to .orse.

(he !randfather, .ho spends a lonely old a!e .orryin! abo)t the destr)ction of his "am!2a ,family line0, becomes G)ite deran!ed, and his only !randson is killed. 9t the end, only the sin!le son is left aliveN the "am!2a is threatened .ith e7tinction. By his tone, (a!ore implies that the !randfather is lar!ely to blame for the disinte!ration of his family: he is stin!y and insists on ti!htly controllin! his money, even .hen his son is !ro.n and has desires and a family of his o.n. (he story to)ches also on the effects of !lobal chan!e, here represented by the spread of allopathic medicine, on local inter!enerational relations. (he son .ishes to 4moderniAe6 in order to save his .ife, .hile his father clin!s, perhaps )n.isely, to more traditional and less costly .ays. B)t from the villa!ers: perspective, the son, not the father, is responsible for the r)pt)re. 3o. co)ld a son val)e his .ife more than the bond .ith his father5 9 r)pt)re in the father1son bond leads not only to the disinte!ration of the immediate ho)sehold b)t to the end of the .hole linea!e8and th)s denies the end)rin! meanin! of, and reason for, the father1son bond.

Mothers and Married 5a)ghters 9The *rob'em o$ sending one7s own awa& to be(ome :other;<
9 da)!hter has a more fra!ile relationship .ith her a!in! parents than does a son, for a da)!hter:s bonds .ith her parents are in effect broken .hen she is !iven a.ay in marria!e. / often heard mothers say of their da)!hters: 4=o) 2)st keep them .ith yo) for a fe. days and then !ive them a.ay to an other:s ho)se.6 (he bond is precio)s, b)t fleetin! and ephemeral. Precisely beca)se married da)!hters become 4other6 in this .ay, most Ben!alis state that parents cannot be cared for by da)!hters .hen they !ro. old, even if they have no sons. Several sonless older .omen / enco)ntered insisted that they .o)ld rather live alone, or even in an old a!e home in Calc)tta, than .ith a married da)!hter. <ne .oman, Pratima1masi ,9)ntie Pratima0, a resident of a Calc)tta old a!e home, e7plained her reasonin!: Masi6 / have no sons, only three da)!hters. /f / did have a son, / .o)ld have certainly lived .ith him. B)t .e Ben!alis hate very m)ch to live .ith da)!hters. SL6 -hy5 Masi6 Beca)se .hen .e !ive o)r da)!hter:s marria!e she becomes other ,%ar0. / have !iven my da)!hter into an other:s hand ,meye to %arer hte die#hi0. +y son1in1la. is not my belly:s iss)e ,%et!er santn nae0. SL6 B)t a da)!hter1in1la.5 She is not yo)r belly:s iss)e either, is she5 ?/ .as seekin! to )nderstand .hy elders felt so m)ch more comfortable livin! .ith their sons: .ives than .ith their married da)!hters.@

Masi6 Jo, that:s different. *ven if my "oum ,da)!hter1in1la.0 hit me .ith a cane, that .o)ld be all ri!ht. / co)ld still live .ith her. Beca)se she is my son:s .ife. B)t livin! .ith a 'mi ,da)!hter:s h)sband0, that:s impossible. -e Ben!alis hate it. /f there:s a son, then the "am!2a ,family line0 remains, and the "oum becomes part of the "am!2a. B)t a da)!hter:s "am!2a is different than o)rs. -e don:t hold a da)!hter:s "am!2a ,meyer "am!2a mr to dhari na0.

So a "oum, .ho is not one:s belly:s iss)e b)t comes into one:s o.n ho)se and becomes part of one:s o.n "am!2a, becomes closer in many .ays than a da)!hter, .ho is a mother:s o.n belly:s iss)e b)t marries a.ay to become part of an )nrelated person:s ho)sehold and linea!e. Parents also inc)r a considerable loss of respect ,asammn0 if they live .ith or are cared for by a married da)!hter. +any / spoke .ith stressed that Ben!alis believe that married da)!hters and sons1in1 la. sho)ld be !iven to and not taken from. 9nother .oman in an old a!e home e7plained: 4/t:s not ri!ht to live .ith da)!hters. Ben!alis feel a disrespect ,asammn0 if they live .ith their da)!hters. (hey live .ith their sons. B)t / have no son.F/ visit my da)!hter:s ho)se sometimes, b)t / never stay lon!er than t.o or three days. *ven if they tell me to stay / don:t. Beca)se it:s my da)!hter:s and 'mi:s ho)se. 9nd amon! Ben!alis .e m)st !ive to da)!hters and 'mis, b)t .e can:t take from them. /n takin! from them a disrespect happens.6 (he proper direction of the flo. of !ifts is from a .oman:s natal to her marital ho)sehold ,Cr)AAetti "D&2:'00. (he ma2or !ift that insti!ates this pattern is the father:s offerin! of his da)!hter8/anydn, or 4!ift of a vir!in68to his son1in1la. ,'m7i0 at marria!e. (hro)!ho)t the da)!hter:s married lifetime, do.ry and other !ifts are e7pected to flo. predominantly from her natal to her marital home. (h)s in +an!aldihi, P)rnima, a da)!hter1in1la., received money from her father:s home to !ive to her father1 in1la. ,tho)!h not, as .e sa., .itho)t considerable resistance on her o.n and on her natal family:s part beca)se the demand .as seen as e7cessive0. 3)sbands and .ife1takers are re!arded as s)perior to .ives and .ife1!iversN the proper flo. of !ifts )p.ard reflects this hierarchical orderin!. 9 married da)!hter:s parents, then, inc)r a si!nificant loss of respect if they cannot contin)e to make occasional !ifts to their married da)!hter:s ho)sehold, or if they are reG)ired to ask their da)!hter:s h)sband for monetary assistance or other !oods. Pres)mably, this concern .ith 4respect6 ,sammn0 .as even more important to some than havin! a family to live .ith, for many of the .omen in the Javanir old a!e home had da)!hters b)t no sons. Cinally, many sonless older .omen e7plained that if they .ent to live in their married da)!hters: homes, there .o)ld be a considerable amo)nt of tro)ble, discomfort, and )neasiness, especially if the da)!hter:s o.n parents1in1la. .ere livin! there. 9r!)in! and overcro.din! .o)ld res)lt. 9nd the da)!hter:s mother .o)ld have no po.er ,2a/ti0 or real place in the ho)sehold. She .o)ld be simply 4dependent6 ,%ardh3n0: that is, someone .ho is s)pported .itho)t !ivin! anythin! in ret)rn. / rarely heard this term applied to a mother in her son:s home, for a mother:s earlier years of !ivin! to the ho)sehold and its 2)nior members .ere taken into acco)nt, ens)rin! her ri!htf)l place .hen she no lon!er .orked in the ho)sehold. Jonetheless, some sonless mothers .ho had no other options did end )p seekin! to live .ith their married da)!hters. (.o elderly sonless .omen came to +an!aldihi .hile / .as there. <ne .as a Brahman .oman .hom most of the villa!e:s yo)n! .omen called B)k)n:s Bidima ,B)k)n:s maternal

!randmother0, after her da)!hter:s da)!hter, B)k)n. <ne .inter day / noticed a thin and stooped .oman dressed in a plain .hite .ido.:s sari descend from the noon b)s: this .as B)k)n:s Bidima. She made it to their home and anno)nced that her health and eyesi!ht had deteriorated so m)ch that she co)ld no lon!er live alone. She came .ith a fe. mea!er possessions and the considerable s)m of si7 tho)sand r)pees, all of her savin!s, .hich she beG)eathed to her da)!hter:s ho)sehold to offset the e7pense of feedin! and carin! for her )ntil she died. Several months later, tho)!h, after she had ret)rned from a visit to her other married da)!hter:s home, B)k)n:s Bidima reG)ested that her first da)!hter ret)rn the si7 tho)sand r)pees. She had decided that she co)ld no lon!er tolerate livin! in her da)!hters: homes and .anted to try a!ain to live alone in her o.n ho)se. B)t by that point, her da)!hter:s ho)sehold .as decidedly not ea!er to ret)rn the money. Cor the rest of the afternoon, B)k)n:s Bidima ar!)ed and pleaded .ith them, especially .ith her three !randda)!hters. (he !randda)!hters sho)ted at her, 43o. dare yo) come no. to take a.ay yo)r money5S =o) came .hen yo) .ere sick, and .e served yo), fed yo), r)bbed oil on yo)r body, and made yo) .ell. -e said yo) co)ld stay here .ith )s for the rest of yo)r life. B)t no. that yo):re .ell, yo) .ant to take yo)r money back and !o. -hat kind of !ratit)de is that5 (hat:s not ri!htS =o):re a small, lo. person ,#hot!olo/0S6 (hey called her all sorts of dero!atory names ,most of .hich / co)ld not )nderstand0 and spitef)lly mimicked her .hen she cried, 4/:m !oin! to die, /:m !oin! to die ri!ht hereS6 (hey said they .o)ld not feed her any rice )ntil she chan!ed her mind, and finally she left, .ailin!, to eat at a nei!hbor:s ho)se. +any people cro.ded aro)nd to .atch. (hey said that this is .hat happens .hen an old .oman !oes to live in her da)!hter:s home. Several months later, B)k)n:s !randmother .as still .ith her married da)!hter in +an!aldihi. <ne s)ltry s)mmer afternoon, she spoke to me of her predicament in lo. tones: 4(his ?my da)!hter:s ho)se@ is an other:s ho)se ,%arer ghar0. -hen / !ave my da)!hter:s marria!e she became other ,%ar0. (hat:s .hy / don:t like it here.FB)t first /:m !oin! to take my si7 tho)sand r)pees and then only .ill / !o. (hey:ve eaten )p my si7 tho)sand r)pees and they aren:t !ivin! it back. B)t /:m !oin! to take it back.6 -hen / left +an!aldihi, B)k)n:s Bidima .as still there .ith her da)!hter. (hey ar!)ed contin)ally, and the older .oman preferred to spend most of her time in nei!hborin! ho)seholds. 9nother .oman, called by most villa!ers 4;h)di (hakr)n:s da)!hter6 ,after her mother, .hom she contin)ed to visit freG)ently0, .as also compelled to live .ith her married da)!hter in her old a!e. She had been .ido.ed m)ch earlier in her life .hen she .as nineteen and her only da)!hter .as a toddler. Like B)k)n:s !randmother, ;h)di (hakr)n:s da)!hter had felt obli!ated to !ive her married da)!hter and son1in1la. her .ealth in e7chan!e for bein! cared for in old a!e. B)t she lamented that ever since she had transferred her property to them, they no lon!er cared for her as they once did. She came to my home one afternoon to tell me the tale of her s)fferin!: / have !iven everythin! that / had to my da)!hter. Jo. / have nothin! at all. / am no. sittin! dressed as a be!!ar ,"hi/hri0. / have nothin! at all. /:ve !iven everythin! to my da)!hter and 'mi. / had a ho)se in my name, and even that / !ave to them. *verythin!.F 9nd no. / live there ?.ith my da)!hter@ and eat there. / have no more po.er ,2a/ti0, no more stren!th ,/shamat0, no more material .ealth ,artha0, no more money. / have become old ,"ur!o0N / can:t do anythin!. So no. / have to sit and be fed. B)t no. they no lon!er look after me like they )sed to.F(hree days later ?after / !ave them my property@ and they no lon!er love me like they did. / !ave everythin! to them and no. they don:t really care abo)t .hat:s left. /:ve become old, .itho)t stren!thN / can:t do anythin! any lon!er, and can:t !ive anythin! more. 9nd they no lon!er look after me. (his is my life of sadness. <ld .omen feel that they are e7pected to 4pay6 their da)!hters and 'mis, .ho are 4other6 ,%ar0 rather than 4o.n6 ,ni'er0 people, for care and service provided in old a!e. S)ch a property1based relationship is not one of ease, and it is apt to .ither once the elder:s property is !one.

/nstallin! a ghar 'mi, or 4ho)se son1in1la.,6 is one final .ay that some parents of da)!hters plan to be cared for in their old a!e: they acG)ire an inmarryin! son1in1la. to settle .ith their da)!hter in their o.n home. (he son1in1la. and da)!hter both receive a kind of 4payment6 for doin! this, for they stand to inherit the parents: home and most or all of their property .hen they die ,and they are also able to live on the property )ntil then0. 9 ghar 'mi is !enerally from a poor family, or a yo)n!er son in a family of several sons8someone .ho .o)ld have had diffic)lty s)pportin! a .ife and family on his o.n. 3e a!rees to move into his .ife:s ho)sehold in e7chan!e for the property he .ill live on and inherit. (his arran!ement .as !enerally considered to be diffic)lt for all concerned, and partic)larly embarrassin! for the 'mi ,and, to a lesser e7tent, for the married da)!hter0. 3ere the 'mi becomes in some .ays like a .ife: he shifts from ho)se to ho)se and is contained in the ho)se of another, rather than practicin! the more presti!io)s male pattern of developin! and refinin! himself in a contin)o)s, strai!ht line, in the home and on the land of his fathers: fathers ,see also Sa7 "DD":&2O&#0. Ba)!hters .ere sometimes embarrassed to marry s)ch a feminine1seemin! man. (hey also e7pressed rel)ctance to miss the opport)nity of bein! honored as a ne. bride in a ne. home, intimatin! that the ne. "ou stat)s, ho.ever diffic)lt to end)re, .as val)ed as .ell. +any parents of only da)!hters therefore did not choose this arran!ement. <ne mother of three da)!hters and no sons, S)bra1di, told me firmly: 4-e don:t .ant to place a ghar 'mi in o)r ho)se. <)r da)!hters .o)ldn:t like it, and neither .o)ld .e. /t .o)ld make )s all feel )neasy ,a2nti0. -e .ill 2)st live alone.6 (h)s as da)!hters become 4other6 ,%ar0 to their parents .hen they are married, parents cannot co)nt on them for care in old a!e. =et a mother:s bonds .ith sons and their .ives are not as inescapable and end)rin! as those .itho)t sons mi!ht ima!ine. / heard many old mothers of sons say the same thin!s abo)t the 4otherness6 of their "ous, their sons: .ives, that mothers of da)!hters say of their married da)!hters. <ne .oman e7plained .hy she did not .ish to live .ith her son and his .ife: 4+y son:s .ife is act)ally not my o.n child. She:s a da)!hter of another ho)se ,%arer gharer meye0.6 9nd another .oman, a Calc)tta old a!e home resident, told me re!retf)lly that she had come to the home beca)se she had only sons and no da)!hters: 4/ have no da)!hter .ho co)ld look after me. Ba)!hters are more Plovin!: ?she )sed the *n!lish .ord@ than sons.6 9ll old people, both those .ith sons and those .ith da)!hters, m)st !rapple .ith dependin! on 2)niors 8.omen8.ho are in many .ays 4other6 to them. /t is necessary to the family cycle and contin)ity that parents brin! da)!hters1in1la. into their homes for their sons and send their o.n da)!hters o)t to the homes of others. B)t in so doin! they ca)se their sons and da)!hters to become enmeshed in bonds that .ill, to some de!ree, inevitably distance them from their peripheraliAed parents. (hose / kne. often blamed this distancin! for the ne!lect and )nreciprocated ho)seflo.s afflictin! older people. H H H

The 5egenerate Wa&s o$ Modern So(iet&

(he kinds of conflicts and problems Ben!alis perceived to be b)ilt into family relations cannot be )nderstood .itho)t considerin! as .ell Ben!ali constr)ctions of modernity. Bominant disco)rses in the "D&0s and "DD0s8in +an!aldihi and Calc)tta, and in /ndian ne.spapers, ma!aAines, and !erontolo!ical te7ts8assert that social problems have b)r!eoned in modern times. /n these disc)ssions, ima!es of a bad old a!e are often invoked as paradi!matic si!ns of a disinte!ratin! 4modern6 ,dhuni/0 society. La.rence Cohen ,"DD&0 offers a penetratin!, detailed analysis of disco)rses of old a!e, senility, and modernity in /ndian !erontolo!ical literat)re and amon! the )rban middle class in Maranasi and other north /ndian cities. 9fter lookin! briefly at some of the same cosmopolitan disco)rses ,enco)ntered mainly d)rin! my many visits to Calc)tta0, / .ill relate these to +an!aldihi perspectives

on modernity and the modern afflictions of old a!e. Since the early "D&0s, a prof)sion of literat)re on a!in! has appeared in /ndian !erontolo!ical and sociolo!ical te7ts, 2o)rnal articles, and pop)lar ma!aAines.?E@ +ost of it is or!aniAed aro)nd the strikin!ly )niform theme of a loomin! 4problem of a!in!,6 framed as an increasin! n)mber of old people and a decreasin! social desire to take care of them. (he cover story of the #0 September "DD" iss)e of India (oday e7emplifies this trend. /t is titled 4(he >reyin! of /ndia,6 and its cover bl)rb reads: 4-ith life e7pectancy !oin! )p, the n)mber of people above '0 has risen past %0 million. Co)pled .ith this, rapid )rbaniAation is disr)ptin! traditional relationships, leavin! /ndian society str)!!lin! to cope .ith a ne. dimension of alienation and despair6 ,+. Lain and +enon "DD"0. Sarita Iavindranath:s story 4 Sans *verythin!FB)t Jot Sans Ii!hts6 ,Statesmen, " Cebr)ary "DDE0 covers the recent passin! of the 3imachal Pradesh +aintenance of Parents and Bependents Bill, .hich reG)ires children in the state of 3imachal Pradesh to provide for their a!ed parents. (his bill .as necessary, Iavindranath and local p)blic officials contend, beca)se of the sharp decline in family bonds in today:s /ndia. 4?9@!ed and infirm parents are no. left be!!ared and destit)te on the scrap heap of society. /t has become necessary to provide compassionate and speedy remedy to alleviate their s)fferin!s,6 the 3imachal Pradesh minister, Midya Bhar, states in the bill:s preface ,Gtd. in Iavindranath "DDE0. B)t Chittatosh +)kher2ee ,retired chief 2)stice and chairman of the state 3)man Ii!hts Commission0 comments that le!islation can only do so m)ch to remedy a family:s and society:s ills. 49 man mi!ht !et eno)!h money to s)stain himself, b)t .here .ill he !o for love and affection56 he asks. 49s lon! as there .ere stron! family bonds, there .as no need for .ritten la. to dictate that yo) have to care for yo)r parents.6 (he article concl)des: -hatever its merits or defects, it is )nlikely that the 2oint family system, .ith its insistence on carin! for the elderly, .ill make a comeback to /ndian society. 9s more and more people leave home in search of a better life, the ne!lected ones are parents, .ho most often invest their life savin!s in their child:s ed)cation and !ro.th. 9nd .hile it is impractical to tie children to their parents: strin!s for life, it is as important to ens)re the ri!hts of the elderly to lead a di!nified life.F<nly the la.Fcan reach o)t and help bent, sad people stand )p strai!ht .ith pride. <ne of the primary forces of chan!e and modern affliction in these narratives is -esterniAation. (he 42oint family,6 a m)lti!enerational ho)sehold in .hich elders make )p an intrinsic part, is often described as somethin! 4)niG)ely /ndian6 or 4characteristic of /ndian c)lt)re.6 Cor e7ample, in his preface ,"DE%:ii0 to L. B. Pathak:s InKuiry into Disorders o$ the Old, S. P. Lain professes: 4(he old .ere .ell looked after in the 2oint family system, so characteristic of the /ndian C)lt)re.6 +adh) Lain and Iamesh +enon ,"DD":2'0 declare that 49!e .as synonymo)s .ith .isdom, val)es and a host of thin!s that made /ndian society so )niG)e.6 /n contrast, the 4-est6 is associated .ith old a!e homes, ne!ative ima!es of a!in!, independence ,that is, small or none7istent families0, and individ)alism. /n fact, the first old a!e homes in /ndia .ere prod)cts of colonial penetration, constr)cted by Christian !ro)ps s)ch as the Little Sisters of the Poor from the late nineteenth cent)ry on.ard and inhabited ,)ntil very recently0 almost e7cl)sively by 9n!lo1/ndians. (he cover story of the E Lan)ary "D&# iss)e of )emina 84<ld 9!e: 9re -e 3eadin! the -ay of the -est568foc)ses on the rapid !ro.th of /ndia:s old a!e homes, ne!ative media ima!es of the elderly, and modern yo)th:s rel)ctance to care for the a!ed. British colonial r)le, comments 9shis Jandy ,"D&&:"'O"E0, also played a decisive role in 4dele!itimiAin!6 old a!e in /ndia by importin! *)rope:s 4modern6 ideolo!y, .hich casts the ad)lt male as the perfect, socially prod)ctive, physically fit h)man bein! and the elderly ,as .ell as the effeminate0 as relatively socially inconseG)ential.?&@ UrbaniAation also fi!)res in )rban middle1class narratives of the problems of a!in! in contemporary society. /ndian !erontolo!ical literat)re blames .hat it calls the break)p of the 2oint family at least as

m)ch on the !ro.th of /ndia:s cities, bolstered by an increasin! stream of ne. inhabitants from the co)ntryside, as on the forces of colonialism and -esterniAation. (he ar!)ment !oes that )rban ho)ses ,and th)s families0 tend to be smaller than those in villa!es, and their .alls more divisive and isolatin!N they are less likely to incl)de old people, .ho are commonly left behind on villa!e lands. (he chaos and separations bro)!ht abo)t .ith the emer!ence of the postcolonial order in So)th 9sia, and the partition of /ndia from Pakistan and Ban!ladesh, are feat)red in these modernity narratives as .ell. People / kne.8especially those in the ne.er nei!hborhoods of so)thern Calc)tta, .hich are replete .ith middle1class ref)!ees from .hat .as formerly *ast Pakistan, no. Ban!ladesh8often spoke poi!nantly of postindependence and postpartition as o&erly independent ,s&dh3n0 and maya1red)ced times. People torn a.ay from their ancestral lands and homes live no. in compact )rban apartments, makin! m)lti!enerational family relationships ever harder to s)stain. People in +an!aldihi also talked contin)ally abo)t ho. thin!s had !one a.ry in c)rrent times: families .ere breakin! )p, old people .ere bein! left alone, and ,partly as a conseG)ence, partly as a ca)se0 the society ,sam'0 as a .hole .as deterioratin!. Cohen finds that ,)nlike his )rban middle1class informants0 those livin! in the lo.1caste Ja!.a sl)m of Maranasi .here he did comparative field.ork did not invoke the modern or the -est to !ro)nd a rhetoric of the .eaknesses of old a!e or the collapse of families. Iather, the afflictions of old a!e .ere blamed on poverty, the caste order, oldness itself, and frictions bet.een brothers ,.hich broke families into small )nits0. Bad families .ere not spoken of as a recent or )n)s)al phenomenon ,"D&&:22#O$&0. /n +an!aldihi, ho.ever, there .as a pervasive sense that the 4modern6 ,dhuni/0 .as at the root of many social ills. (his sentiment, tho)!h e7pressed across caste and class lines, .as most prono)nced in )pper1caste nei!hborhoods. (he three main villains of modern affliction in +an!aldihi .ere -esterniAation, )rbaniAation, and .omen. +any of the less literate in +an!aldihi .ere not G)ite certain .here the 4-est6 ,or "ilt8 *n!land, 9merica, forei!n places0 .as located or 2)st .hat it entailed. People asked, -as "ilt8or my co)ntry, 9merica8near Bar2eelin!5 Belhi5 -as 3indi spoken there5 <thers .ere ac)tely interested in and informed abo)t /ndia:s lon!time en!a!ement .ith the -est via British colonialism, the increasin! !lobaliAation of the media and the national economy, and the o)t1mi!ration of /ndians to places s)ch as the United States. 9 !ood proportion of +an!aldihi:s Brahman men comm)ted to nearby cities for .ork, read *n!lish lan!)a!e ne.spapers daily, and .atched international television pro!rams in their or their nei!hbors: homes. /t .as in these Brahman nei!hborhoods that people most often invoked the -est, "ilt, or 4forei!n .inds6 as a key so)rce of the travails of modernity. >)r)saday +)kher2ee commented that pop)lar 9merican television pro!rams and British1style ed)cation systems .ere in part responsible for the fail)re of yo)n! people to respect and fear their elders as they once had. S)bal, an older Ba!di man, conc)rred. 3e said that the school ed)cation of his sons and !randsons had led to a ne. lack of respect and loss of a)thority for old people: 4(he old people:s .ords are not mi7in! .ith the yo)n! people:s any more. Jo. the yo)n! people:s intelli!ence has become very ?or Ptoo,: "e2i@ !reat.6 Some people in +an!aldihi had heard of old a!e homes in *)rope and 9merica, and compared them dispara!in!ly to their ashrams or shelters for dyin! co.s. 9nd they noted .ith dismay that this system .as penetratin! their o.n society. +any +an!aldihi .omen .ere fascinated by the tape1 recorded intervie.s / bro)!ht back from the t.o Javanir old a!e homes in Calc)ttaN they cro.ded aro)nd my tape recorder to listen to the residents: stories, then .o)ld often analyAe these .omen:s predicaments in terms of the -esterniAed modern era in .hich they all .ere findin! themselves. Some in +an!aldihi also linked the !eneral decline in the G)ality of villa!e life, and the increasin! precario)sness of the condition of old people .ithin their families, to )rban mi!ration. Lar!e n)mbers of residents have left the +an!aldihi re!ion over the past several decades8especially the better ed)cated and the hi!her castes, .ho can find salaried 2obs in the cities. /n "DD0, abo)t "$ percent ,or 2$# o)t of a total pop)lation of ",E000 of those .hom +an!aldihians themselves considered to be

+an!aldihi residents act)ally lived most of the time a.ay from 4home,6 ret)rnin! from the city only periodically to attend ma2or festivals, at harvest times to sell crops that had been c)ltivated by their sharecroppers, or to visit relatives remainin! in the villa!e. 9ltho)!h / kne. of no families that abandoned their older members completely, in several cases sons left their parents alone for some years, )s)ally )ntil one spo)se died.?D@ -hen that happened, the sons and their families .o)ld ret)rn to +an!aldihi for the elaborate f)neral rit)als and, after the f)neral .as over, take a.ay the s)rvivin! parent, often arran!in! to have him or her shift from ho)se to ho)se amon! the vario)s sons livin! in different cities. S)ch )rban mi!ration not only left some old people alone for lon! intervals b)t also left ho)ses dist)rbin!ly empty. Criends and / .o)ld .alk do.n villa!e lanes and see homes boarded )p, to be vitaliAed only once or t.ice a year by voices and the .armth of cookin! fires. People .o)ld say, 43o. !reat o)r villa!e )sed to beS Cro.ded .ith people at all timesF6 (hey did not like passin! by those lonely homes. 9ltho)!h .omen do not play m)ch of a role in the lar!ely de1!endered !erontolo!ical te7ts foc)sed on the )rban middle class, they fi!)re prominently as a!ents of chan!e in the r)ral men:s and .omen:s narratives / heard. +odern1day da)!hters1in1la., / .as told, are better ed)catedN they !o o)t and !et 2obs, they are interested in make)p and movies, they desire their independence, and they are not .illin! to serve their h)sbands: parents as da)!hters1in1la. once did. (he tellers of s)ch stories are mainly old .omen ,yo)n! .omen, of co)rse, mi!ht appla)d s)ch chan!es0, .ho are also portrayed as s)fferin! the most from ne!lect by yo)n! .omen8and th)s .omen become both the a!ents and victims of modernity. <ne middle1a!ed +an!aldihi .oman, Bani, told me: 4<)r P2oint families: are becomin! r)ined ,nas!t!a0 and separate ,%r!tha/0, beca)se .omen have learned ho. to !o o)t. (hey are irritated by all the ho)sehold hassles.6 9n elderly .ido.ed ;ayastha .oman similarly spoke of the role yo)n! .omen play in the decline of traditional val)es: 4Back then, sam!sr ,family life0 .as very p)re ,%a"itra0. Ba)!hters1in1la. kept their saris p)lled )p over their heads ?a si!n of modesty and deference to elders@, and the yo)n! .ere devoted to and served the old.F/n this a!e,6 she .ent on, 4da)!hters1in1 la. .ant their independence. (hey .ant to live separately ,%r!tha/0.6 S)san -adley finds that residents of the villa!e of ;arimp)r, north /ndia, e7press similar concerns abo)t ne. ho)sehold a)thority patterns and family separations in modern times, also blamin! these in part on the da)!hter1in1la.:s ne. demands ,"DD$:2#'0. (his son! .as s)n! by a !ro)p of Brahman !irls at a .eddin!, pres)mably .ith a de!ree of irony ,p. 2#&0: +other1in1la., !one, !one is yo)r r)le, (he a!e of the da)!hter1in1la. has come. (he mother1in1la. spreads a bed, (he da)!hter1in1la. lies do.n. 4+other1in1la., please massa!e my feet.6 (he a!e of the da)!hter1in1la. has come. Patricia and Io!er Leffery ,"DD':"'"O'20 hear similar voices: 4Ba)!hters1in1la. )sed to be afraid of their mothers1in1la.. -e )sed to tremble .ith fearF(hese days, it:s the mother1in1la. .ho fears the da)!hter1in1la..6 (hese contemporary r)ral critiG)es of modernity both recall and provide a revealin! contrast .ith late1 nineteenth1 and early1t.entieth1cent)ry Ben!ali anticolonial nationalist disco)rses, .hich .ere !endered in parallel .ays.?"0@ /n those earlier debates, Partha Chatter2ee sho.s, .omen ,and the home, family, reli!ion0 .ere represented as )pholdin! a 4traditional,6 /ndian spirit)al inner domain, distinct from an increasin!ly 4-estern6 material o)ter .orld. Jationalists asserted that altho)!h *)ropean po.er had relied on s)perior material c)lt)re in s)b2)!atin! non1*)ropean peoples, it co)ld not coloniAe the inner, essential identity of the *ast, .hich m)st be preserved in the home. 3e observes:

4/n the .orld, imitation of and adaptation to -estern norms .as a necessityN at home, they .ere tantamo)nt to annihilation of one:s very identity6 ,"DD#:"2"0. B)t a strikin! proportion of the literat)re on Ben!ali .omen in the nineteenth cent)ry concerned their threatened -esterniAation. Contemporary .riters s)!!ested that the 4-esterniAed .oman .as fond of )seless l)7)ry and cared little for the .ell1 bein! of the home6 ,p. "220. *ven more damnin!, 49 .oman identified as -esterniAedF.o)ld invite the ascription of all that the Pnormal: .oman ,mother sister .ife da)!hter0 is not8braAen, avaricio)s, irreli!io)s, se7)ally promisc)o)s6 ,p. "#"0. /n +an!aldihi, remarkably similar disco)rses, tho)!h not as e7plicitly .rapped )p .ith nationalist and co)ntercolonial sentiments, still formed part of an overall narrative deplorin! recent chan!es and yearnin! for a more 4traditional6 Ben!ali past. /n this past, .omen ,young .omen08as s)bmissive and carin! da)!hters1in1la., mothers, and .ives8!)aranteed close m)lti!enerational families, the social1moral order, a !ood old a!e. (o be s)re, .e have little or no evidence that the past really .as more perfect, harmonio)s, and filled .ith 2oint families, s)bmissive yo)n! .omen, and venerated elders than the present is. /n the ab)ndant !erontolo!ical and sociolo!ical literat)re on the contemporary 4problem6 of a!in! in /ndia, no baseline or lon!it)dinal data have been presented to s)pport the assertions of rampant 2oint1family decline ,see Cohen "DD2:"#2O#%N L. +artin "DD0:"0$O"0N S. Mat)k "DD":2'#0. /n fact, one of the fe. lon!it)dinal st)dies of family str)ct)re in /ndia that .e do have ,;olenda "D&Eb0 sho.s that contrary to pop)lar belief, the proportion of 2oint families in the villa!e of Lonikand near Poona, at least, did not d.indle over the years b)t has increased from 2D percent in "&"D to $%.' percent in "D'E ,Ieddy "D&&:'#0. Bata from another st)dy of thirteen villa!es in Bihar ,Bis.as "D&%:2$'0 sho. that the proportion of men and .omen a!ed si7ty and over livin! .ith sons remained relatively constant bet.een "D'0 and "D&2, at abo)t &0 percent ,L. +artin "DD0:"0E0. 9s s)!!estive as they may be, neither of these small st)dies provides concl)sive evidence abo)t ho. the family in /ndia either has or has not chan!ed over time. /t is therefore impossible to tell precisely if or ho. G)ickly the 2oint family is declinin!, or to .hat e7tent it ever did e7ist in the past as the 4self1s)fficient )nit,Fcentre of )niverse for the .hole family6 ,>an!rade "D&&:2E0. /n addition, alarmist statements in the media abo)t the increasin! n)mbers of old people in /ndia ,and the s)bseG)ent inability of families and society to care for them0 fail to take into acco)nt that most cens)s st)dies sho. no dramatic chan!e in the proportion of persons si7ty and over in the /ndian pop)lation, beca)se fertility remains hi!h ,Cohen "DD2:"##N S. Mat)k "DD":2'$0. Based on n)mbers alone, .e cannot easily predict that there .ill be ever more old people in /ndia .ith ever fe.er yo)n! people available to care for them. =et despite their apparent lack of !ro)ndin! in fact, s)ch narratives of a!in! and modernity are pervasive and .idely felt as pers)asive. 9r!)ably one m)st consider disco)rse abo)t the de!enerate .ays of a modern society in the conte7t of a !eneral devol)tionary o)tlook that permeates the thinkin! of many in -est Ben!al, and in /ndia more .idely. 9ccordin! to the .ell1kno.n theory of the fo)r yugas or a!es, thin!s !et pro!ressively .orse rather than better as time passes. -hen this .orld first came into bein! many tho)sands of years a!o, people lived in the Satya =)!a, the a!e of tr)th and !oodness in .hich dharma or moral1reli!io)s order flo)rished. B)t ever since then, the social and material .orld has !rad)ally deteriorated )ntil, accordin! to my informants, abo)t five tho)sand years a!o .e entered the fo)rth and most de!enerate of all a!es, the ;ali =)!a. /n addition to stories abo)t the .orsenin! of family ties and the mistreatment of old people, / constantly heard tales of re!ret abo)t other deteriorations: man!oes are not as lar!e and s.eet, co.:s milk does not flo. as ab)ndantly, trees do not provide as m)ch shade, villa!ers do not share the same fello. feelin!, people are no lon!er tr)st.orthy and honest. S)ch narratives of modern decline m)st also be placed in the historical conte7t of colonialism, nationalism, and postcolonialism in Ben!al. Partha Chatter2ee scr)tiniAes Ben!ali narratives of modern

decline and like.ise asks: 4-hy is it the case that for more than a h)ndred years the foremost proponents of o)r modernity have been so vocal abo)t the si!ns of social decline rather than pro!ress56 ,"DDE:20#0. (o ans.er, he s)!!ests, .e m)st look at the interpenetration of modernity .ith the history of colonialism. 3e points o)t ,p. "D$0 that the .ord dhuni/, in its modern Ben!ali sense of 4modern,6 .as not in )se in the nineteenth cent)ry. (he term then employed .as na"ya ,ne.08the ne. that .as e7plicitly linked to -estern ed)cation and tho)!ht, the civiliAation ina)!)rated )nder *n!lish r)le. Beca)se of the .ay that the history of Ben!ali modernity has been intert.ined .ith the history of colonialism, Chatter2ee ar!)es, Ben!ali attit)des to.ard modernity 4cannot b)t be deeply ambi!)o)s6 ,p. 20$0. 3e proposes that 49t the opposite end from Pthese days: marked by incompleteness and lack of f)lfillment, .e constr)ct a pict)re of Pthose days: .hen there .as bea)ty, prosperity and a healthy sociability, and .hich .as, above all, o)r o.n creation6 ,p. 2"00. (hese narratives of modernity impart a sense of a more tr)e and bea)tif)l, a morally s)perior, an 4o.n6 /ndian or Ben!ali past, at the same time that they frame c)rrent social problems ,some of .hich may also have e7isted lon! before today0 as part of historically specific processes of chan!e in a postcolonial and !lobal era. / .ill close this section .ith t.o narratives portrayin! visions of the deterioration of modern society, the chan!in! constit)tion of persons and social relations, and the concomitant afflictions pla!)in! old people. (he first is the story of a resident of one of the Javanir homes for the a!ed in Calc)tta. (his msim ,or 4maternal a)nt,6 as the home:s residents are called0 .as a .oman .ho had never married, and .hose n)mero)s nephe.s and nieces born of her ten brothers and sisters ref)sed to care for her. She said that people )sed to consider %isis, paternal a)nts, close relatives b)t that they no. treat %isis as %ar, 4other,6 and send them to old a!e homes. She blamed m)ch of the chan!e in her society on the introd)ction of -estern1style 4family plannin!6 or birth control policies, .hich have red)ced the siAe of families and contrib)ted to a !eneral decline in 4family love6 ,sam!sri/ "hlo"s0: =o) in yo)r co)ntry have 4family plannin!6 so there are only one or t.o children per family. B)t not )s. Jo., .hich system is better5 / think o)r system is better. Beca)se / heard that in yo)r co)ntry old people become asahy ,helpless, solitary0. B)t not so in o)r co)ntry, at least not before. (he old people lived on their land in the villa!es. (hey .o)ld do %H's ,reli!io)s rit)als0, read the >ita, +ahabharata, and Iamayana. (heir sons .o)ld serve them. B)t no. .ith 4family plannin!,6 disaster has come. (here:s no bindin! ,"andhan0 any more in the family. (he sons become ed)cated, !et 2obs, and take their .ives .ith them to live. -ho .ill look after the old people5 (hat:s .hy / came here. Jo one thinks of anyone else any more. /:m still embarrassed to say that / live in a 4home.6 B)t .hat can / do5 -ho .ill look after me5F/:m sayin! that family plannin! is not !ood. <)r hearts have become small. -e )sed to feel a sense of d)ty to.ard o)r //s, 'et!hs, t!h/urds ,)ncles and !randfathers0. B)t .e don:t even kno. the names of o)r relatives any more. <ne person is b)ildin! a bi! ho)se and another is !oin! to an home. 9ffection and compassion ,my8day0 no lon!er e7ist like they did. (his .oman failed to note the irony in her acco)nt: tho)!h she had ten brothers and sisters, reflectin! a family before 4family plannin!,6 she still had no one to care for her in her old a!e. (he c)lprits in her tale are not her family, ho.ever, b)t modernity and -esterniAation8penetratin! into the inner sanct)m of families thro)!h !overnment1sponsored birth control pro!rams. +y second e7ample is a son! that richly portrays a vie. of the manifold deteriorations of society in modern times, .ith partic)lar attention to the disre!ard of elders and a !eneral disinte!ration of family life. (he son!, titled 4+odern Society6 ,4\dh)nik SamT260, .as composed in the "D&0s by Ian2it Chitrakar, a %at!uy sin!er and scroll painter of +edinip)r Bistrict, -est Ben!al. Pat)as .ere previo)sly very pop)lar in Ben!alN they traveled from villa!e to villa!e sin!in! narrative son!s ill)strated by their scrolls, called %at!s, and they sold these scrolls in the markets aro)nd Calc)tta:s

famo)s ;ali temple at ;ali!hat.?""@ (heir stories .ere traditionally dra.n from 3ind) mytholo!y, b)t in the late nineteenth cent)ry they be!an also to provide critical and satirical commentary on feat)res of contemporary society, like the ne.fan!led *n!lish1ed)cated ""u, or Ben!ali !entleman8or, as in this tale, the maltreatment of old people, the braAenness of .omen, and the mis!)ided la.s of the !overnment in modern times. / heard and recorded this son! in Calc)tta in "D&DN t.o of the %at! ill)strations that !o .ith it appear belo., on pa!es D&ODD ,fi!)res % and '0.

Ci!)re %. 4Cather and son[s fi!ht6. .at!at illustration "y an'it Lhitra/ar. A son and wi$e "eat u% his %arents. Note how the senior #ou%le is dressed in white. (he daughter8in8law<s eyeglasses are a sign o$ her =modernity>. fi!)re '. 4>et o)t of the road, sirS /[m !oin! to the cinemaS6. .at!at illustration "y an'it Lhitra/ar. A =modern> daughter8in8law, wearing sla#/s, eyeglasses, and a wat#h, em"a/r/s "ra1enly on a motor s#ooter. modern so(iet& Listen, listen everyone caref)lly. Listen caref)lly to a son! abo)t ;ali =)!a. -hen ;ali is spoken of, the head is filled .ith embarrassment. /t is only abo)t people !oin! to the cinema day and ni!ht. -hen a !room !oes to !et married he looks for the best1lookin! bride. /f her color is dirty or if she has sG)inty eyes, Sno.1.hite po.der is spread all over her dark body 9nd /'al ,eyeliner0 is painted on her eyes to make them lon! and .ide. /n the Satya =)!a people !ot married .hen they .ere over thirty. B)t in the dark ;ali =)!a people are marryin! before a!e si7teen. 9nd .hen brides !o to their h)sbands, they !o .ith their heads )ncovered and smilin!. ?"2@ (hey tell their h)sbands, 4/ .ant to !o to the cinema .ith yo).6 9 t.elve1year1old !irl r)ns a.ay .ith a little boy and has t.o children, 9nd all the .hile the !overnment is makin! la.s abo)t takin! medicine ?i.e., birth control pills@. 9nd then there are old .omen of si7ty years still .earin! conch shell bracelets and vermilion,?"#@ -ho leave their old h)sbands to find themselves a yo)n! !room. Seein! the events of ;ali =)!a, everyone:s head spins. (he people of ;ali =)!a don:t tell the tr)th, b)t only lies.

(he a!e is afflicted .ith the sins of !oin! to cinemas. 9ll of the practices of o)r land have become depraved. .F.F.F.F. . . (he da)!hter1in1la. r)bs so many kinds of oil on her hair. B)t the old mother1in1la. is left only to )se the kerosene oil from the lamp. (he da)!hter1in1la.:s combed hair shines .ith oil in the mirror, -hile the old lady:s hair is tan!led and bedra!!led. (he da)!hter1in1la. sleeps on a hi!h bed .ith three pillo.s, -hile the old lady lies on a board .ith a torn bedsheet. .F.F.F.F. . . /n the Satya =)!a there )sed to be .ealth in the fields, B)t in the dark ;ali a!e the crops are r)ined by sins. Seein! all these events, Laksmi is leavin! people:s ho)ses.?"$@ /n the ;ali =)!a everyone is eatin! rice separately o)t of separate cookin! pots. 9nd they steal from their fathers .itho)t feedin! them rice. (here is a la. from the !overnment abo)t abolishin! lo. castes, 9nd there is nothin! to eat e7cept .heat and flo)r.?"%@ 9s m)ch as people sell and b)y, that m)ch prices are risin!. 9nd ta7es are increasin! steadily in each ho)se. (here came a la. from the !overnment that .ido.s can remarry. So no. a mother of three or fo)r sons says she m)st !et married. She says, 4/ .on:t live .ith my sons8.hat happiness do / have from them56 She dresses )p a!ain, .ith sno.1.hite po.der, soap, and shoes, and says, 4/ .ill !o to my father:s ho)se to look for a ne. !room.6 9nd if the ne. h)sband has a sister or mother, they are 2)st thorns in the road. .F. . (his son! is over, b)t there is a lot more to say. / .ill .rite more, older brother, if / live. +y name is Ian2it Chitrakar. +y address is +edinip)r. (his son! capt)res the sense that prevails amon! r)ral and )rban middle1class Ben!alis of the incoherence and de!eneration of modern society and the postcolonial state. (his de!eneration is manifest most starkly in the separations and reversals in inter!enerational family relationships: ne. brides !o boldly to their h)sbands and in1la.s .ith their heads immodestly )ncoveredN old married .omen leave their h)sbands to find ne., yo)n!er !roomsN da)!hters1in1la. treat themselves to l)7)ries .hile abandonin! their mothers1in1la. to torn sheets and )nkempt hairN sons steal from their fathers .itho)t feedin! them riceN and old .ido.s leave their o.n sons to remarry, .hile thro.in! their ne. mothers1in1la. into the road. 3ere a!ain, .omen are painted as the primary a!ents, as .ell as

the primary victims, of the present evils. (he !overnment is also held to acco)nt for fashionin! la.s that ostensibly aim to remedy social ills ,abolishin! caste, permittin! .ido. remarria!e0 b)t that in fact res)lt in increased poverty, chaos, and distress. H H H

Three Li%es
(ho)!h / have disc)ssed consens)s and contest in separate chapters, in the real e7chan!es of everyday life they do not e7ist in neat isolation. (he very people .ho strove to s)stain lon!1term relations across !enerations, and .ho stressed to me the 4Ben!ali1ness6 of their family ties ,see chapter 20, also e7perienced distressin! inter!enerational conflicts and sa. the modern postcolonial a!e as rife .ith s)ch conflict. (he follo.in! description of the ambi!)ities and n)ances of the family lives of three elderly people in +an!aldihi provides a fittin! concl)sion for both aspects of my e7amination.

=h)di Tha>r)n
;h)di (hakr)n. ;h)di (hakr)n .as pro)d to be the oldest or most 4increased6 ,"r!iddha0 person in +an!aldihi. Jearin! one h)ndred years old, her face .as made of an intricate desi!n of .rinkles, her .hite hair .as cropped short in the style of old .ido.s, and she roamed the villa!e covered sparsely .ith a man:s .hite dhoti, .ith her loose breasts han!in! lo..?"'@ She had one of the stron!est, most .illf)l characters in the villa!e, .hich .as perhaps intensified by her advanced a!e. She lived alternately in the separate homes of her three sons and "ous, .ho cared for her attentively. She contin)ed ,)n)s)ally for someone of her a!e and se70 to maintain s)bstantial control over her o.n money and land, and she still lent money and collected interest to increase her .ealth, and to b)y e7tra man!oes and s.eets to satisfy her palate. ;h)di (hakr)n .as the only s)rvivin! and m)ch1beloved child of her very .ealthy Brahman father. Before she .as born, her parents had had fo)r sons and fo)r da)!hters, all of .hom died in infancy. So )pon her birth, her mother had a Ba!di .oman come to the birth room to b)y her for a piece of broken p)ffed rice called /hud; that is ho. she !ot her name ;h)di ,4little broken piece of p)ffed rice60. (his act, she e7plains, enabled her to live.?"E@ 9s an only child, she .as !reatly adored, and ab)ndant !ood food and e7pensive clothin! .ere lavished on her thro)!ho)t her !irlhood. -hen ;h)di .as 2)st eleven and it .as time for her to marry, she told her parents that she ref)sed to move a.ay from them by marryin! into another villa!e. So her parents married her to a seventeen1 year1old boy from +an!aldihi. +)kher2ee, to .hom she referred by his last name, .as also from one of the lar!er and .ealthier families in +an!aldihi. 9fter ;h)di (hakr)n:s father died and she inherited all of his .ealth ,incl)din! acres of land, thirty ponds, a lar!e ho)se, and tho)sands of r)pees0, she became probably the .ealthiest person in +an!aldihi, as .ell as a senior member of one of +an!aldihi:s lar!est and oldest families. She and her h)sband themselves had several children .ho died in infancy before her first son, >)r)saday, s)rvived. -hen he .as born, she promised Syamcand, the dominant ;rishna deity in the villa!e, that she .o)ld !ive him a p)re !old belt if her son lived. >)r)saday did s)rvive, and the icon of Syamcand still .ears that !old belt today. She later bore t.o more sons and three da)!hters, .ho all s)rvived past infancy. 9fter ;h)di (hakr)n and her h)sband !ave their yo)n!est da)!hter:s marria!e .hen she .as ten, ;h)di (hakr)n .o)ld not !o near her h)sband or even speak to him o)t of fear that

she .o)ld become pre!nant a!ain. B)t several years later she did become pre!nant .ith another sonN and .hen he .as only ten days old, her h)sband died. ;h)di (hakr)n said that she herself .as over fifty at the time. -hen / met her over forty years later, she .as bein! cared for by her three sons and their .ives. 3er da)!hters1in1la. told me that she )sed to r)le firmly over them, controllin! every aspect of their ho)sehold affairs. She .o)ld ar!)e and even fi!ht .ith them, and they .ere afraid of her. Cor several years after her h)sband died, she s)bstantially controlled the family:s property and financial affairs. (his is )n)s)al for a .ido. in +an!aldihi, b)t ;h)di (hakr)n had !ro.n )p in many .ays as her father:s son, and m)ch of the family property .as in her name. 3er .ealth to some e7tent transformed her !ender. B)t more recently she had lost a considerable amo)nt of her po.er. Several years earlier, her three sons had become separate ,%r!tha/0 and she transferred almost all of her property to them, keepin! 2)st a small bit of land in her name so that she co)ld have some money to )se for her o.n interests and th)s maintain some independence. She still asked her sons abo)t their financial matters8ho. the crops did every year, ho. many fish .ere in the ponds8b)t by and lar!e she let them r)n thin!s themselves. 3er "ous e7plained to me that she co)ld no lon!er dominate their ho)sehold affairs. (he middle "ou remarked: 4She )sed to have so m)ch po.er ,2a/ti0. B)t no. .hat can she do5 *ven if she sho)ts at )s, .e don:t heed her too m)ch. She can:t tell .hat .e:re doin! any.ay, she has become so blind and deaf.6 9fter the sons became separate, they decided to divide )p the care of their stron!1.illed mother, as none of them .anted to be solely responsible for her. So ;h)di (hakr)n be!an a re!imen of movin! from ho)se to ho)se, spendin! fo)r months o)t of the year .ith each son. 9ll three ho)ses .ere .ithin a stone:s thro. of each other. / talked freG)ently .ith ;h)di (hakr)n, her sons, "ous, and nei!hbors abo)t her and her relationships .ith her family members. ;h)di (hakr)n never complained abo)t the treatment she received from her 2)niors. She said that all of her sons and "ous looked after and served her .ell, and she especially praised her middle "ou for her e7cellent cookin! and attentiveness, and her yo)n!est !randson for his )n)s)al devotion to her. (he 2)niors themselves, ho.ever, complained abo)t her considerably. (hey seemed almost to dread the months that she .o)ld spend in their homes, for she .as so demandin!. She insisted on eatin! the best foods8partic)larly fr)it, .hich is diffic)lt to obtain and very e7pensive, and ab)ndant G)antities of milk. -hen she .as at the ho)se of her oldest son, >)r)saday, .ho .as the poorest of the three brothers ,the only one .itho)t a salaried 2ob0, her 2)niors complained that none of the other ho)sehold members co)ld have any milk, beca)se she drank all that their t.o co.s co)ld s)pply. -hen she .anted somethin!, s)ch as tea, a snack, or m)stard oil to p)t on her body, she demanded in her deep, raspy voice that it be bro)!ht instantly. 3er middle "ou thre. )p her hands in e7asperation one day .hen / .as visitin! and e7claimed, 4/ can:t stand it any moreS She:s so hard of hearin!, she can:t even hear me .hen / tell her, P/:m comin!, /:m comin!S:6 <ne a!!ravated "ou told me once .hen ;h)di (hakr)n .as stayin! at their ho)se, 4/t:s not necessary to live as lon! as +a. /t:s past time for her to die.6 3er oldest son .o)ld chastise and criticiAe his mother as .ell. -hen she .o)ld see me at his ho)se talkin! .ith him, she sometimes tried to come over to sit by me, b)t her son .o)ld 2)mp )p, .ave his .alkin! stick at her, and yell, 4>et a.ayS >et a.ayS (his is no place for yo)S6 and then t)rn to me and say, 4-hat a diffic)lt personS +y mother is s)ch a diffic)lt personS6 B)t they .ere all concerned .ith dharma and believed stron!ly that servin! ;h)di (hakr)n .as an inte!ral part of livin! correctly and )pholdin! the moral1reli!io)s order of the .orld. >)r)saday .o)ld lect)re me for ho)rs on end abo)t the importance of !ivin! service and respectf)l devotion to elders as a preeminent form of 3ind) dharma. 3er middle "ou added G)ickly after one critical o)tb)rst: 4B)t .e still feed her and !ive her respect. <ther.ise o)r !reat sin ,mah%%0 .o)ld happen. /t is o)r dharma

to care for her.6 (he sons, .ives, and !randchildren all did %ran!m to her daily, demonstratin! their respectf)l devotion and seekin! her blessin!s. /t .as perhaps their stron! concern .ith f)lfillin! their d)ties to their elders, as .ell as their concern for the family rep)tation or 4name6 ,nm0, that ca)sed ;h)di (hakr)n:s sons and "ous s)ch !reat irritation at her habit of roamin! the villa!e almost daily to seek o)t fr)it and s.eets from other people:s ho)seholds. -henever she !ot ne.s that someone had come back from a trip or that some family:s relatives had arrived from another villa!e, she .o)ld immediately pick )p her .alkin! stick and .alk over to see .hat kind of delicio)s fr)it or s.eets had arrived. -hen local fr)it be!an to ripen, she made re!)lar visits to anyone .ho had trees8s)ch as man!o, banana, and /ul ,so)r pl)m08in their yards. She .o)ld commission people .ho .orked in or visited cities to brin! back treats for her, either !ivin! them some of her o.n money to do so or simply askin! them to !ive the treats to her. Jo one felt comfortable ref)sin! her: beca)se of her a!e, s)ch ref)sal .o)ld be an act of disrespect, an act of adharma, .hich mi!ht res)lt in a c)rse or slander. / myself G)ickly became one of her most favored so)rces of bananas and man!oes. 9ll of these reG)ests for food made her sons look bad. 9 nei!hborin! .oman said to me once, 4S)ch an old .oman .ith three capable sons is still !oin! aro)nd pesterin! others for foodS ChiS ChiS 9n old .oman .ith three sons like that is not s)pposed to ask others for thin!sN her sons are s)pposed to !ive them to her.6 (he sons and their .ives in fact did try to c)rtail her activities, b)t to little effect. -hen t.o of her !randsons and her middle da)!hter1in1la. fo)nd o)t that she had asked me to brin! her back a cotton bedsheet from Calc)tta, they .ere f)rio)s at her. (hey called me over to find o)t if it .as tr)e and then scolded her: 4-hy are yo) askin! some !irl .ho has come here from a forei!n co)ntry to !ive thin!s to yo)5 =o) have three sons. (hey can !ive thin!s to yo). =o) also have plenty of money of yo)r o.n.6 /n this case, an old .oman:s sons and da)!hters1in1la. strove sincerely to serve their a!ed mother attentively and to f)lfill all her needs. (hey sa. service to their mother as a moral and reli!io)s obli!ation, as .ell as important to maintainin! their presti!e in the comm)nity. B)t the mother herself had been very stron!1.illed and independent her .hole life, and she .as )n.illin! to become passive and peripheral, like most elders receivin! care. 3er .ealth and determination both !ave her a considerable amo)nt of po.er over her children and allo.ed her to maintain independent ties .ith the .orld8nei!hbors, friends, debtors8that .ere not channeled thro)!h her kin, as people e7pected at her a!e and as her children .o)ld have liked. (he family str)!!les over c)rtailin! her transactions did not seem to bother her m)ch, ho.everN they primarily irritated and .orried her sons and da)!hters1in1la..

-hogi -agdi
Bho!i Ba!di. Bho!i Ba!di .as an elderly Ba!di .ido. .ho had t.o sons b)t lived alone. (he first time / met her, she .as sittin! at the ed!e of the path that ran in front of her small m)d ho)se, holdin! her head in her hands and moanin! lo)dly. +y companion 3ena and / asked her .hat .as .ron!, and she ans.ered plaintively, 4+y da)!hter died.6 3ena co)ntered, 4(hat happened several months a!o. -hy are yo) cryin! no.56 Bho!i ans.ered that her "ous had 2)st been ar!)in! .ith her, that she had no one .ho .o)ld feed her or look after her, and that she mi!ht as .ell 2)st die ri!ht there on the path. / soon learned that the path in front of her ho)se .as one of Bho!i:s favorite places to sitN / often fo)nd her there, moanin! abo)t her inconsiderate sons or chattin! .ith and .atchin! the vario)s people !o by. She .as a short, st)rdy .oman .ho had !ro.n G)ite stooped over the years. She kept her thin,

.hite hair p)lled back in a loose knot, and she dressed in old, plain .hite saris. She had very lar!e, deep eyes that seemed to spill over .ith self1pity. 3er t.o sons lived .ith their .ives and children in ho)ses a fe. yards a.ay from hers. (hey had become separate ,%r!tha/0 several years earlier .hen her h)sband died and his mea!er landholdin!s .ere divided amon! them. (he ho)se that she lived in .as still hers, and in another villa!e she o.ned a bit of land that she had inherited from her father. 3er da)!hter:s da)!hter looked after that land, and Bho!i .as able to s)pport herself8tho)!h 2)st barely, she insisted8off its rice. Bho!i:s constant lament .as that her sons and "ous did not look after her. Sometimes she blamed this ne!lect on her o.n bad fate, sayin! that she m)st no. be s)fferin! the fr)its of her bad karma from previo)s births. B)t at other times she blamed her sons. <nce, .hen / asked her .hy her sons did not look after her, she replied, 4(hey .ant to have se7 all the time .ith their .ives and other !irls. /f /:m there, it:s inconvenient for them.6 She also said that altho)!h her older son !ave her a c)p of tea every once in a .hile, her yo)n!er son !ave her nothin!, not even a drop of tea or a fe. kind .ords. 43e:s even sayin! no. that he:s not from my stomach, that he came )p from the earth or somethin!,6 she added bitterly. She sa. herself as someone .ho had no one. (ears .o)ld .ell in her eyes as she h)n! her head and said, 4/ have no one of my o.n.6 <ne day .hen / asked if / co)ld take her photo, she ans.ered sarcastically: 4-hy do yo) .ant to take my photo5 +y sons .on:t look at it. -hat .o)ld / do .ith it5 St)ff it )p my crotch56 Bho!i:s da)!hters1in1la. had a different story to tell. (hey told me that they tried every day to care for herN that they bro)!ht her cooked food, tea, and even an occasional sariN b)t she .o)ld only slander them, c)rse at them, and say that the food .as no !ood. (hey e7plained that their 22ur!3 Bho!i, act)ally had a .hole storeho)se of rice, dal, tea, s)!ar, and salt that she had acc)m)lated over the years from people:s donations to her and from her land, b)t she did not like to dra. on her s)pplies. ,Bho!i had also told me abo)t her store of !oods, .hich she said she .as savin! for the f)t)re .hen she may need them even more.0 B)t that .as one reason, her yo)n!er "ou e7plained, that many people did not .ant to help Bho!i o)t: they kne. she had so m)ch, even more than they did. C)rthermore, hoardin! food instead of !ivin! it a.ay .as considered to be inappropriate, !reedy behavior, partic)larly at Bho!i:s a!e. (he "ous claimed as .ell that Bho!i:s )nr)ly personality, and her tendency to s.ear and scold, made her a very )npleasant person to care for. (he yo)n!er "ou said that sometimes her older sister1in1la. chided her for contin)in! to try to feed their mother1in1la., sayin!, 4=o) sho)ld 2)st leave her alone. /f she:s actin! like this, then she doesn:t need )s to care for her.6 4B)t .hat can / do56 the yo)n!er "ou asked, 4/ still feed her. She is my 22ur!3i after all.6 =et Bho!i seemed to find it important to deny that her sons and da)!hters1in1la. .ished to care for her. / once asked her if they ever bro)!ht her food and she admitted that sometimes they did, b)t added scornf)lly, 4/t:s 2)st beca)se they:re eyein! my ho)se. (hey each have a !reedy desire ,lo"h0 for this ho)se, and they think that if they feed me no., /:ll !ive it to them.6 She insisted, tho)!h, that she .o)ld not leave the ho)se to them: 4/:ve already .ritten that / .ill !ive it to my da)!hter:s da)!hter. She:s the only one .ho:s !ood to me. She:s the only one .ho loves me.6 +any people like Bho!i seemed to consider da)!hters and !randda)!hters more 4lovin!6 than sons and da)!hters1in1la., perhaps beca)se da)!hters .ere not tho)!ht to be actin! o)t of obli!ation8they had none, as .e have seen8b)t o)t of affection. (his pattern reveals intri!)in! reversals s)rro)ndin! da)!hters and their attachments to natal families: sentiments like Bho!i:s foc)sed not on linea!e ,"am!2a0 b)t on maya, affection. <n another occasion, Bho!i denied that her sons and "ous tried to care for her at all. (he follo.in! is an e7cerpt from o)r conversation:

-hogi6 *ver since my da)!hter died, my life has been f)ll of s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0. *ven after my h)sband died, it .asn:t so bad, beca)se / had my da)!hter to look after me. She fed me !ood thin!s and loved me. B)t no. / don:t have any1one. 9sk anyone, and they:ll tell yo) that / have no one. SL6 -hat abo)t yo)r t.o sons and "ous5 -hogi6 <h, them. (hey don:t look after me at all, not a bit. (hey don:t even feed me a c)p of tea. SL6 =o)r yo)n!er "ou told me that she does feed yo), that she .ants to feed yo). -hogi6 Jo, they don:t do anythin! at all. SL6 -here did yo) !et this sari5 ?/ contin)ed to probe, noticin! that she .as .earin! an )n)s)ally clean, ne.1lookin! sari that day.@ -hogi6 (his5 -ell, my older son and "ou !ave it to me at %H' ,festival0 time. B)t / didn:t ask for it or anythin!. (hey 2)st !ave it8left it at my ho)se. (hey didn:t hand it to me, they 2)st left it there. -hat .ill / do5 (hey left it, so /:ll .ear it.

L)st as villa!ers criticiAed ;h)di (hakr)n for askin! other people for food .hen she had sons of her o.n, so nei!hbors .o)ld chastise Bho!i Ba!di for cryin! in front of others, tryin! to !et their pity, .hen she had t.o sons. 9 nei!hborin! Brahman .oman, Bani, scolded her one day: 4Bon:t .hine so m)ch in front of othersS -hy sho)ld they !ive yo) tea and mur!i ,parched rice0 .hen yo) have t.o sons and "ous of yo)r o.n to feed yo)56 Bho!i Ba!di .as a .oman .ho had almost c)t off all transactions .ith others. She did not easily accept .hat .as offered to her by her sons, nor did she !ive o)t her store of !oods to them. She had no real relations of e7chan!e .ith either her kin or .ith others, and her self1isolation on the e7treme peripheries of family and villa!e life complicated her old a!e. 9ltho)!h she had t.o sons and "ous .ho lived ri!ht ne7t to her, in many .ays she .as, as she claimed, a person .ith no one of her o.n.

Se>h Abd)' ,ani

Sekh 9bd)l >ani. Sekh 9bd)l >ani .as a senior +)slim man .ho lived .ith his .ife, fo)r sons, t.o da)!hters1in1la., and several !randchildren. 3e had become blind several years before / met him, and he spent most of his time simply sittin! in a clearin! in front of his ho)se, near .here children played or men threshed rice, or .ithin the inner co)rtyard of his home .ith his .ife, da)!hters1in1la., and !randchildren. 3e lived in the one lar!e +)slim nei!hborhood of +an!aldihi, at the northern end of the villa!e. -hen / first came )pon him, he .as sittin! in the mornin! .inter s)n, leanin! a!ainst a haystack in the clearin! in front of his home. 3e had the lon! !ray beard typical of older +)slim men, and his blank eyes !aAed )p.ard and o)t.ard beyond all the passersby, the earthen homes, and the tall, !olden haystacks. / .ent over to talk .ith him, and he be!an to tell me a tale of .oe, of ho. his fate .as bad, his body had deteriorated, and his sons did not care for him. 3e said that he lived .ith his .ife and that she !ave him a little bit of rice, b)t that .itho)t her he .o)ld s)rely die. 3e moaned and str)ck his forehead .ith his hand, sayin!: 4+y fate is very bad. / have fo)r sons b)t they don:t look after me. Jeither do my "ous. / can:t see .ith my eyes, and / have s)ch problems .ith my feet and arms that / can hardly .alk. -hen / !et )p, / keep fallin! do.n. B)t my sons, they don:t help me. (hey 2)st say, P(u more 'J ,=o) dieS0.: 9nd their kids don:t help me either.6 /n this retellin! of his sons: dismissal of him, he )sed the tui or tu form of 4yo).6 (his form of the Ben!ali second1person prono)n is )s)ally reserved for addressin! inferiors s)ch as yo)n! children or servants, or for addressin! intimate childhood friends. /t is !ravely ins)ltin! to address a parent, especially a father, as tui. Children )s)ally call their fathers tumi ,second1person eG)al0 or occasionally, if their relationship is a formal one, %ni ,second1person s)perior0. 3e then t)rned his head to face the small cro.d of nei!hborhood children .ho had !athered behind me, and said, 4=o)S =o), Ja2r)l:s da)!hterS Speak )pS / kno. yo):re there.6 <ne !irl sheepishly and rel)ctantly replied. (he old man said to her, 4See, here yo) are and /:m sittin! here dyin! in the s)n and yo) .on:t even brin! me a !lass of .ater.6 She sG)irmed a bit b)t did not say anythin!. 3e t)rned to me and said, 4(hat:s my middle son:s da)!hter. See, no one looks after me. <nly my .ife !ives me a little bit of rice.6 3e added that his sons ar!)ed .ith him all the time and did not listen to .hat he said. S)ch disrespect ,asammn0, he insisted, .as possible only in these modern times. 4/ )sed to respect and be devoted to my parents so m)ch,6 he said. 4B)t these days sons no lon!er pay attention to .ho is their guru ,s)perior, respected person0. (hey don:t have any respect for s)periors. (hey don:t fear their elders. (hey don:t listen to their .ords. (hey )sed to listen. B)t not any more.6 (he ne7t time / .ent back to visit / .as e7pectin! to hear more of the old man:s complaints. B)t to my s)rprise, he seemed to be in an entirely different mood and portrayed his family relationships in an alto!ether ne. li!ht. / asked him if his fate ,"hgya0 .as !ood or bad, and this time he ans.ered: 4Some !ood and some bad. Crom my second marria!e ?his first .ife had left him .itho)t bearin! any children@, / had fo)r sons and t.o da)!hters. (his is my !ood l)ck. Jo. / am sick, b)t my sons are able to do the farmin! for me. /f / didn:t have sons, / .o)ld have had to sell everythin! and 2)st sit here. +y l)ck is very !ood that / have fo)r sons. 9nd beca)se of the sons, my "am!2a ,family line0 .ill remain. (here .ill be a lot of "am!2a. -e are all of one "am!2a, and my sons .ill be fo)r parts.6 3e pro)dly told me that his fo)r sons all still lived and ate to!ether .ith him and his .ife, and that the responsibility for r)nnin! the ho)sehold .as no. in his oldest son:s hands. (he old man himself had .illin!ly passed on the responsibility of bein! head of the ho)sehold ,/art0 to his son many years

earlier. 3e e7plained: 49ll the responsibility has been in my oldest son:s hands for abo)t the past t.enty to t.enty1five years. (hat .as after my son !re. )p and .e !ave his marria!e. 9t that time my health .asn:t !ood. / had ?hi!h blood@ Ppress)re: ?he )sed the *n!lish .ord@ and / .o)ld make all sorts of mistakes. Crom then on, / told my son to look after everythin!.6 -hen / asked him if his sons still ar!)ed .ith him a lot, he ans.ered, 4-e both ar!)e .ith each other, it:s not 2)st that they ar!)e .ith me. 9r!)in! doesn:t happen alone. L)st like clappin! doesn:t take place .ith 2)st one hand.6 3e seemed no lon!er to .ish to blame his condition on his sons. (he old man alternated bet.een complainin! abo)t and praisin! his 2)niors in this .ay for the rest of the time that / kne. him. B)t d)rin! the fe. days before he died, he seemed pleased to have all of his needs attentively cared for by his 2)niors. / .atched as his t.o da)!hters1in1la. took t)rns by his side, massa!in! his feet and le!s, chan!in! his soiled bedsheets, and patiently spoon1feedin! him .ater, tea, and small bits of cooked food. 3is .ife, sons, and !randchildren stood and sat respectf)lly in the room aro)nd him. 3e told me the day before his death that he .as happy to die s)rro)nded by his family. 3e said, 4Let my children be happy, and / .ill die.6 (he str)ct)re of Sekh 9bd)l >ani:s family .as e7actly .hat most Ben!alis believe families properly sho)ld be. 3e lived to!ether .ith his sons, da)!hters1in1la., and !randchildren in the same ho)sehold, eatin! the same food. 3e had already passed control over the ho)sehold:s financial affairs to his oldest son, so he co)ld rest .itho)t .orry in his old a!e .hile his son p)rs)ed his o.n aims and s)pported the family as a ho)seholder. (he old man died s)rro)nded by his yo)n!er relatives, .ho co)ld both care for him in his death and carry on his family line. B)t these relationships .ere also accompanied by on!oin! str)!!les and dissatisfaction. (he old man sa. himself at times as e7tended and cared for by his sons, and at times as ne!lected by them. (he fo)r sons for their part often complained, nei!hbors told me, of their irritation in havin! to listen to their decrepit father. B)t they .ere saddened by the loss .hen he diedN and they also had to face the separation from each other as fo)r fatherless brothers moved into separate ho)seholds.

Notes
". Bavis ,"D&#:"2DO#00 e7plores this relationship as sasuri8"ou ma 'hogra: that is, rivalry ,'hogra0 bet.een mother1in1la. and da)!hter1in1la.. 2. 9 more literal translation of 4 .ye %ar!a ut!h %utuJ 6 .o)ld be 4Callin! at yo)r feet ?/ implore yo)@, !et )p little boyS6 #. (his story is also told and disc)ssed in Lamb "DDEa:'0OE2. $. See also Lamb "DDD for a disc)ssion of .ido.s, caste, and property in +an!aldihi. %. Cohen:s Maranasi and Mat)k:s Je. Belhi informants also tie money to !ood treatment in old a!e ,Cohen "DD&:2$"N S. Mat)k "DD0:E&O&00. '. /nden and Jicholas ,"DEE:%0 note that a "am!2a in its p)rest form e0#ludes inmarryin! .ives and o)tmarryin! da)!hters. /n +an!aldihi, ho.ever, people e7plicitly stated that a .ife comes to share her h)sband:s and father1in1la.:s "am!2a thro)!h marria!e, and that a da)!hter is part of her father:s "am!2a )ntil she is married. E. Cor ma!aAine and ne.spaper articles on a!in!, see +. Lain and +enon, 4(he >reyin! of /ndia6 ,"DD"0N Iavindranath, 4 Sans *verythin!FB)t Jot Sans Ii!hts6 ,"DDE0N Satish, 4(he <ld PeopleFa 3eadache56 ,"DD00N and the E Lan)ary "D&# iss)e of )emina, .hich declared its theme: 4<ld 9!e: 9re -e 3eadin! the -ay of the -est56 >erontolo!ical books incl)de Bhatia ,"D&#0N Bis.as ,"D&E0N 9. Bose and >an!rade ,"D&&0N Besai ,"D&20N de So)Aa ,"D&"0N de So)Aa and Cernandes ,"D&20N Pathak

,"DE%0N Pati and Lena ,"D&D0N +. Sharma and Bak ,"D&E0N and Soodan ,"DE%0. S. Mat)k ,"DD"0 and Cohen ,"DD2, "DD&0 revie. and disc)ss m)ch of this .ork. &. See +rinalini Sinha:s Lolonial Mas#ulinity: (he =Manly -nglishman> and the =-$$eminate Bengali> in the Gate Nineteenth Lentury ,"DD%0 for a related disc)ssion of 4modern6 -estern masc)linity and colonial domination. D. Jote that even .hen elderly parents .ere left behind in the villa!e .hile 2)nior family members moved off to a city to .ork, the family members involved often considered themselves to be part of one ho)sehold, beca)se they pooled many of their reso)rces and made many important decisions 2ointly. *pstein ,"DE#:20E0 has labeled this kind of family arran!ement a 4share family,6 and she s)!!ests that it emer!es partic)larly .hen families combine )rban .a!e earnin! .ith r)ral farmin!. "0. <n the !enderin! of anticolonial nationalist disco)rse, see in partic)lar P. Chatter2ee "D&D, "DD0, "DD#. "". See Baner2ee "D&D for a more detailed disc)ssion of Ben!ali %at! scrolls and narratives d)rin! the nineteenth and early t.entieth cent)ries. "2. Je. brides are !enerally e7pected to !o to their h)sbands: homes .ith a ghomt!, or part of the sari, p)lled over their heads, to demonstrate modesty and deference. "#. Conch shell bracelets and vermilion .orn in the part of the hair are the si!ns of a married .oman .hose h)sband is alive. "$. Laksmi is the !oddess of .ealth and prosperity. "%. (hat is, people are bein! forced to eat .heat instead of rice, the preferred Ben!ali staple. "'. /n chapter ', / disc)ss the implications of older .omen:s dress, and the si!nificance of the acceptability of their p)blicly e7posin! m)ch of their bodies, incl)din! their breasts. "E. S)ch 4p)rchases6 are still performed today. /f parents have lost one or several previo)s children, they often have a lo.1caste .oman 4b)y6 their ne. infant from them .ith somethin! almost .orthless, like a broken piece of p)ffed rice, or a three1cent coin. By callin! attention to the child:s p)rported .orthlessness, the transaction helps divert the evil eye ,na'ar0 or 2ealo)sy ,him!s0 that can brin! harm to the child. ,Cor st)dies of the evil eye in r)ral So)th 9sia, see +aloney "DE' and Pocock "D&".0

"2 Aging and 5&ing

?2 White Saris and Sweet Mangoes+ artings and Ties
/n the previo)s t.o chapters, a!in! and !ender .ere considered from the perspective of persons .ho strive to maintain family relations in the face of s)ch menaces as inter!enerational conflicts and the chan!es bro)!ht by modernity. Cor both .omen and men in +an!aldihi, ho.ever, a central problem of a!in! .as not ho. to maintain family ties that threatened to be too loose b)t ho. to loosen bonds8to kin, places, thin!s, one:s o.n body8that had become very ti!ht. (his is the problem / hinted at in the preface, in describin! +e2o +a:s predicament8ho. co)ld she die, .hen she .as clin!in! so ti!htly to her .orld58and in chapter ", .hen / disc)ssed the villa!ers: .orries abo)t the diffic)lties of my o.n depart)re from the villa!e, after / had become so m)ch a part of their net of maya. Ben!alis believe they face a kind of tra!edy in the life co)rse. (he ties makin! )p persons8.hat they often call the bindin!s of maya8are in !eneral likely to increase in n)mber and intensity .ith the len!th of lifeN and yet it is also in later life .hen these ties m)st be loosened, as part of preparin! for the myriad leave1

takin!s of death. (hey perceive old a!e as a parado7ical time of life, .hen relations are the most fra!ile b)t the p)lls of maya the stron!est. +en and .omen seemed eG)ally affected by this aspect of a!in!. Unlike men, ho.ever, .omen also e7perienced the ,often painf)l0 )nmakin! and remakin! of their personhoods, not only in a!in! and dyin! b)t also in marria!e and .ido.hood. Before / t)rn to those s)b2ects ,in part #0, ho.ever, / .ish to e7plore in part 2 the .ays both .omen and men in +an!aldihi envisioned and confronted this comple7ly ambi!)o)s dimension of the h)man condition: its irrevocable transience, on the one hand, yet its compellin! intensity, on the other. / .ill also reflect briefly on ho. Ben!ali theories of a!in! speak to some of the trends in contemporary academic and pop)lar thinkin! on a!in! in the United States. H H H

The rob'em o$ Ma&a

+aya is a m)ltivalent concept fo)nd in all /ndian lan!)a!es. /n its commonly !lossed sense, 4ill)sion,6 maya refers to the nat)re of the everyday, lived .orld of e7perience, kno.n as sam!sra in Sanskrit and in Ben!ali as sam!sr. 9s -endy Boni!er <:Claherty ,"D&$:""'0 notes, the .orld of sam!sra has lon! been vie.ed by many /ndians as )nreal or ill)sory ,that is, f)ll of maya0, either beca)se other realities, s)ch as >od or "rahman, are deemed to be more transcendent or tr)e or beca)se of its o.n )ltimate impermanence. +ar!aret (ra.ick, too, takes maya as ill)sion and .rites of it as the ambi!)o)s, bafflin!, and deceptive nat)re of 4the e7perience of life itself6 ,"DD0b:#D, "0$0. /n r)ral -est Ben!al, altho)!h some more sophisticated and philosophically minded people speak of maya as 4ill)sion,6 maya is more commonly eG)ated .ith affects s)ch as attachment ,sa/ti0, affection ,sneha,mamat0, compassion ,day0, or love ,"hlo"s0. (he term bears similar meanin!s in everyday Jepali.?"@ 9 mother has maya for her son, and a son for his mother. 3)sbands and .ives have maya for each other. People have maya for their ho)ses, the trees that !ro. in their co)rtyards, and their belon!in!s. People feel maya .hen they see a helpless person bein! h)rt or a tiny calf bleatin! for its mother. +aya not only consists of .hat .e .o)ld classify as emotional ties b)t involves s)bstantial or bodily connections as .ell. Persons see themselves as s)bstantially %art of and tied to the people, belon!in!s, land, and ho)ses that make )p their personhoods and lived1in .orlds. (hese ties, for Ben!alis, are all part of maya.?2@ Ben!alis refer to maya as takin! the form of 4bindin!s6 ,myr "andhan0 or a 4net6 ,my 'l0 in .hich people, and all livin! bein!s, are enmeshed. Strands of this net can be e7perienced as 4p)lls6 ,myr t!n0. (he bindin!s of maya can also be loosened or 4c)t6 ,my /t! 'e0 by acts s)ch as movin! a.ay from a home or villa!e, ceasin! to !ive to and receive from others, or ar!)in!N b)t .e .ill see that 4c)ttin!6 maya is somethin! that most Ben!alis believe to be e7tremely diffic)lt to do. Beca)se maya means ,at least in part0 affection or attachment for others, it str)ck me, .hen / first be!an to hear +an!aldihi villa!ers speak of it, as a desirable G)ality, or at least one that many 9mericans .o)ld seek to c)ltivate. B)t people in +an!aldihi tho)!ht of maya ,as both attachment and ill)sion0 as problematic. +aya is, in fact, classified by Ben!alis as one of si7 chief evils or 4vices6 ,ri%us0 that pla!)e h)man e7istence, alon! .ith an!er ,/rodh0, passion ,/m0, !reed ,lo"h0, pride ,aham!/r0, and 2ealo)sy ,him!s0. <ne day / .as talkin! to a yo)n! man, Bab), and my companion1 assistant, 3ena, abo)t the meanin!s of maya. (hey e7plained that maya means 4love6 ,"hlo"s0, 4affection6 ,sneha,mamat0, and the 4p)ll6 ,t!n0 persons feel for other people and thin!s. (hen 3ena added: 4+aya is a very bad thin!.6 / .as s)rprised and remarked, 4-e don:t think of maya ?translated in my mind here as Paffection: or Plove:@ as a bad thin! at all.6 (hey both replied strai!hta.ay, 4(hen yo) m)st not have m)ch maya.6

3ena, Bab), and others !rad)ally led me to appreciate that maya is 4bad6 ,/hr%0 beca)se it ca)ses immense pain and s)fferin!. Life is f)ll of separations and losses, as sisters and da)!hters leave for their h)sbands: homes, !randparents and parents die, a favorite calf is sold, a beloved sari is tornN and the more maya people have for all of these thin!s, the more they s)ffer the pain of separation. /n fact, maya creates problems .henever there .ill be separations or conflictin! attachments, .hich is )ltimately the condition of all h)man relationshipsN accordin! to those / kne., relationships are over.helmin!ly intense b)t inherently ephemeral. (he moment people feel the first t)!s of maya, they immediately become sad thinkin! of the separation and loss to follo..?#@ (hose .hose reasonin! is more abstract fa)lt maya for hinderin! one:s perception of >od ,"haga&n0 or 4tr)th6 ,satya0. >)r)saday +)kher2ee e7plained to me that everythin! .e have maya for is false or mistaken ,"hul0, beca)se these thin!s are not )ltimately real or lastin!. /n this sense, maya means .hat B)ddhists and Medantists have called 4ill)sion.6 >od creates all the thin!s .e have maya for so that .e .ill remain in the .orldN b)t as lon! as .e have maya, .e cannot find >od or tr)th. (hese )nderstandin!s resonate .ith those conveyed in the >opi Chand epic translated in 9nn >old:s Larni&al o$ .arting ,"DD20. (he epic, altho)!h Ia2asthani, is said to have ori!inated in Ben!al. +aya here is presented as a comple7 intert.inin! of ill)sion, love for .omen, creative divine !race, del)sive ma!icians: skills, and bindin! h)man attachments ,see also >old "D&D, "DD"0. <ne tellin! refrain of the tale !oes 4+eetin! is !ood, and partin! is bad, and the noose of +aya:s net is al.ays very bad6 ,"DD2:##"O##0. / ended )p spendin! many ho)rs talkin! .ith older people abo)t maya. >rad)ally, / foc)sed on some central G)estions: Boes maya decrease .ith a!e8as 3ind) te7ts stressin! the val)es of ren)nciation in late life s)!!est should at least happen?$@8or does maya increase as people !ro. older5 9nd if maya increases, then ho. do people mana!e their m)ltiplyin! connections as they face the myriad leave1 takin!s of death5

Long Li%es and In(reasing Ma&a

(he responses to my G)estions abo)t maya .ere complicated and varied, and they depended lar!ely on people:s personalities, family livin! sit)ations, material .ealth, physical health, and so on. <f those .ho had plenty8of kin and possessions8most ar!)ed that maya definitely increases .ith a!e. <f those .ho had almost nothin!8s)ch as be!!ars and d.ellers in old a!e homes8many claimed that for them, maya had all b)t disappeared. /n +an!aldihi, by far the ma2ority of villa!ers / asked conc)rred that maya, for most people, increases .ith the len!th of life. (hey provided several reasons for this concl)sion. Cirst, villa!ers ar!)ed G)ite lo!ically that beca)se kin s)ch as children and !randchildren ,and a spo)se and affines0 tend to increase in n)mber as a person !ro.s older, then maya necessarily increases as .ell. 3ere is ho. Billo:s +a, an older Ba!di .oman, p)t it: SL6 Boes maya decrease or increase .ith a!e5 ,Bayaser sange my /i /ame n "r!e 'e90 -i''o7s ma6 /t doesn:t decrease. /t increases. =o) have sons and da)!hters, and then yo)r children have children. -on:t maya increase then5

+y companion, 3ena, and her friend Bab) e7pressed the same idea in a sli!htly different .ay: -ab)6 Cor ordinary people .ho do sam!sr ?i.e., have a family@, maya increases day by day. SL6 -hy5 0ena6 -hen yo) are yo)n! yo) have maya and p)ll ,t!n0 only for yo)r mother, father, and older sister. B)t then .hen yo) marry, maya increases8for all of the people of yo)r 2&a2ur ghar ,father1in1la.:s ho)se0. 9nd then yo) have kids, and then they have kids. =o) see, from all of this, maya is increasin!. Look at ;h)di (hakr)n. 9lmost everyone in the villa!e is her relativeS She .ill never be able to abandon maya8never.

Choto +a, an a!ed Brahman .oman livin! .ith her t.o married sons, their .ives, and t.o !randsons, similarly e7plained her increase in maya by pointin! to her increasin! attachment, especially for her da)!hters1in1la., or "ous: SL6 Boes maya increase or decrease .ith a!e5 Choto Ma6 -ith a!e5 -ith a!e maya increases of co)rseS 9s m)ch as a!e happens, that m)ch / feel, 4Let my "ous live .ell, let my "ous live happily, let my "ous .ear !ood clothes68and all that !ives me m)ch happiness. 9nd if the villa!e !irls .ear very nice clothes, that makes me very happy, too. (hat:s all maya. +aya increases, of co)rseS /f my "ous don:t eat, then / think, 4+y "ous haven:t eaten yet,6 and / tell them, 43ave some .ater, have some mur!i ,parched rice0, have some rice.6 / .ant to !ive them food .hen / eat. (hat:s all maya.

+any villa!ers / spoke .ith )sed the same reasonin!. (his ar!)ment seems to reG)ire that a person hi!hli!ht 'unior rather than senior kin, for older relatives .o)ld inevitably decrease as they mer!ed into the collective body of deceased ancestors.?%@ B)t !iven the lar!e families that nearly everyone in +an!aldihi favored, people e7pected the n)mbers of their direct, collateral, and affinal descendants to increase. (h)s people .ere !enerally tho)!ht to be made )p of more and more ties .ith kin as they moved thro)!h life. People also seemed to feel that maya is felt more intensely for 2)nior rather than senior kin: like affection ,sneha0 and blessin!s, maya flo.s more po.erf)lly do.n.ard than )p.ard. <ne elderly ;ayastha .oman, +ita:s +a, e7pressed this vie. G)ite e7plicitly, as she e7plained that the mother:s maya for her son is !reater than the son:s maya for his mother, and that the !randmother:s maya for her

!randchild is the !reatest of all: SL6 Boes maya increase .ith a!e or decrease5 Mita7s Ma6 +aya increases .ith a!e. SL6 -hy does it increase5 Mita7s Ma6 9t that time, .ith a!e ,"ayaser sange0, stren!th is decreasin!. ?<ld people@ aren:t able to .ork any more, and they aren:t receivin! money. (hey .orry abo)t ho. their children .ill !et money and eat .hen they !o a.ay. 9t that time maya increases. 9nd, compared to her son:s, a mother:s maya is !reater ?i.e., a mother has more maya for her son than the son has for his mother@. 9nd there is even !reater maya for the son:s child than for the son himself. ?L)st like@ there is even !reater maya for money:s interest than for money itself. Let:s say yo) !ave a loan or p)t money in the bank. =o) .ant the interest to be bro)!ht to yo) G)icklyS ?=o) say,@ 4Brin! me the interestS Brin! me the interestS6 9nd in that .ay, after a person:s child has a child, ?the !randparent@ doesn:t feel that m)ch maya for her o.n child, she feels the most maya for the !randchild. F?+y mother@ .as dyin! on her bed, and even then she called to her !randda)!hter, my da)!hter, and said, 4*at. 3ere, have this milk.6 =o) see5 She .as dyin! on her bed, and even then she had maya.

<ther people in +an!aldihi e7plained that not only does the n)mber of kin increase, b)t also connections .ith all thin!s8incl)din! possessions, money, ho)ses, and villa!e soil8acc)m)late and intensify over a lon! life. 9s ;h)di (hakr)n:s middle1a!ed son, >)r)saday, p)t it: 4Cor Pincreased: people ,"r!iddha lo/0, maya and desire ,/man0 increase and increase ,"r!e "r!e0S /f they don:t learn to abandon it at a yo)n! a!e, then this desire increases. 9t the time of death, ho.ever many possessions ?a person@ has, that m)ch maya and sa/ti ,deep love or attachment0 .ill he have8for all of those thin!s.6 3e .ent on to e7plain: 4/f yo) thro. !hee in a fire, then the fire increases. /n this .ay, desire and maya increase and increase as one !ets old. People sho)ld think, P/:ve received and done ?thin!s@ all of my life. / .on:t do any more.: B)t instead they think, PLet more happen, let more happenS: =o) see, it:s like addin! !hee to the fire. (he more he !ets, the more he .antsS6 3e repeated this last phrase several times in *n!lish84(he more he !ets, the more he .antsS (he more he !ets, the more he .antsS68.ith a .ide !rin and enth)siastic voice, seemin!ly pro)d to have come )p .ith s)ch a .ise proclamation in my ton!)e. 9nd indeed this man:s mother, ;h)di (hakr)n, .as an e7cellent e7ample of someone .ho in old a!e displayed this kind of passion for attachment. >)r)saday +)kher2ee e7plicated his statement f)rther: the 4fire6 here refers to "hog ,pleas)re or

en2oyment0, and 4maya is related to "hog. 6 3e said that the 4!hee6 thro.n into the fire incl)des !ood food, money, se7)al pleas)re, nice clothes, s.eet scents8the .hole ran!e of possessions, relationships, and pleas)res. (he more of these thin!s a person enco)nters and acG)ires as the years !o by, the stron!er becomes his or her desire for them all82)st as addin! f)el to a fire makes it necessary to add even more f)el. So maya for the thin!s and pleas)res of the .orld increases over a lon! life, as a person:s pleas)rable e7periences and possessions acc)m)late. Some offered a third e7planation of maya:s increase in late life: as people !ro. closer to death, they become more and more a.are that they .ill have to part from all of the people and thin!s they have !ro.n so close to, and this a.areness of impendin! separation ca)ses feelin!s of connection or maya to intensify. <n another occasion .hen / asked >)r)saday if maya increases or decreases .ith a!e, he ans.ered, as / related in the preface: 4+aya increases.F-hy5 Beca)se ?in old a!e a person@ realiAes that he .ill have to leave everythin! in this earth and !o a.ay.6 9s he spoke, tears rose in his eyes, and he added: 4-hen / die, then / .ill have to leave everyone and everythin!8my children and everythin!. (hen all of the love ,"hlo"s0 and all of the affection ,sneha0 that / .ill have8that is all maya. /t .ill make tears come.6 B)t a fe. people told me that maya decreases .ith a!e, or perhaps stays the same. (h)s one a!ed Brahman man8;h)di (hakr)n:s yo)n!est brother1in1la., 9nil +)kher2ee8ans.ered my G)estions: 4+aya5 Before it increased. Jo. .hat .ill increase any more5 /t hasn:t decreased, nor has it increased. /t .ill stay )ntil / die.6 +ost if not all of those .ho believed that maya decreases .ere people .ho considered themselves to be already livin! 4o)tside of sam!sr, 6 s)ch as .anderin! be!!ars, old a!e home d.ellers, and childless .ido.s, none of .hom had real families of their o.n. (hey .ere distinctly in the minority, ho.ever, as most +an!aldihi villa!ers professed that the n)mber of connections and the intensity of these connections8and th)s maya8contin)e to !ro. .ith the len!th of one:s life.

The 5angers o$ Ma&a in Late Li$e

/f maya becomes increasin!ly stron! over the life co)rse, then the livin! of one:s final years8facin! losses, separations, and death8can be very painf)l indeed. C)rthermore, people fear that those .ho have very stron! attachments may han! on in painf)lly decrepit old a!e rather than die, or may t)rn into a lin!erin! !host ,"hHt0 after death. (he older people of +an!aldihi spoke and .orried abo)t maya all the time8chidin! their friends for havin! too m)ch maya, claimin! sometimes that their o.n maya had all b)t disappeared, or .onderin! ho. they .o)ld be able to c)t their maya and leave. +aya is most tro)blin! to the old beca)se it hampers the so)l ,tm0 after death. +aya, accordin! to Ben!alis / kne., can res)lt in a person ,or the person:s so)l0 bein! G)ite literally 4bo)nd6 ,"andhan /ar0 to his or her body, s)rro)ndin!s, and relationships, ca)!ht as in a 4net6 ,my'l0 and therefore )nable to die, even if very ill and feeble, and )nable to depart from his or her previo)s residence and relations after death. <ne frail a!ed .oman, 9nanda:s +a, .orried abo)t the bindin! nat)re of maya: 4/t:s time for me to die no.. B)t /:m not able to shed off maya. (hat:s .hy /:m not dyin!. 3o. .ill / leave all my kids and thin!s and !o5 -hen / c)t the maya, then / .ill !o. B)t ho. .ill the maya be c)t56 Choto +a e7pressed her concerns abo)t maya this .ay: 4/ .orry abo)t sam!sr ,ho)sehold life, this ho)sehold0. 3o. .ill my kids and everythin! all live .ell ?after / die@5 3o. .ill / !o and leave this all behind5 (he more a!e happens, the more my stren!th decreases, and it becomes diffic)lt to live. +y time for dyin! has come already. /f / die, / .ill receive peace, relief ,/hls0. B)t there:s maya. 3o. .ill / c)t the maya and !o56 /n another conversation / had .ith Choto +a and her lon!time friend and sister1in1la., +e2o +a, .hich also foc)sed on the problems maya can ca)se to those facin! death, Choto +a interr)pted to

chide +e2o +a for havin! too m)ch maya. Me@o Ma6 /f / died no. it .o)ld be !ood. / have no .ish to contin)e livin!. Jo. /:m thinkin!8/:ll !o, /:ll !o. ?pa)se@ B)t there:s maya. SL6 +aya for .hom5 Me@o Ma6 Cor everyone. SL6 -ill yo) try to red)ce maya5 Me@o Ma /t doesn:t happen. *ven if yo) try to red)ce maya, it doesn:t happen. =o)r insides !o 'ig'ig'ig'ig ?i.e., t.in!e or fl)tter@, .antin! to see everyone a!ain. +aya can:t be c)t at all ,my /i#hutei /t! 'e n0. SL : /s it !ood to c)t maya5 Me@o Ma6 /t:s !ood. ?Sli!ht pa)se.@ / don:t e7actly kno.. Choto Ma6 She !ets scared .hen she:s alone at ni!ht. She lies a.ake )ntil t.elve o:clock thinkin!, 4/:m !oin! to die. /:m !oin! to die. /f / die it .ill be !ood.6 B)t then .hen she thinks of =amara2 ?the !od of death@ comin!, she thinks, 43o. .ill / !o5 / .on:t be able to !o. / .ant to see my children, talk to them, and then !o.6 Me@o Ma6 =es, / m)st see one of my !randchildren:s .eddin!s before / !o. Choto Ma6

SeeS (hat:s mayaS She:s sho.in! her mayaS She .on:t be able to !o )ntil the maya is c)t.

/t .as common for people, especially older .omen, to talk like this abo)t .ho amon! them does or does not have m)ch maya, scoldin! one another for havin! too m)ch maya and lin!erin! on past the proper time for dyin!. <ne day as / .as .alkin! thro)!h the villa!e .ith a married Brahman .oman, Bani, .e came )pon Bho!i Ba!di as she .as sittin! in the lane in front of her home, complainin! ,as )s)al0 abo)t her s)fferin!s and the ne!lect of her sons. Bani said first to me, disapprovin!ly: 4Bho!i is in her decrepit a!e ,'r "ayas0, b)t she is still Plin!erin!: ?she )sed the *n!lish .ord@.6 She then t)rned to Bho!i: 4=o) m)st have a lot of .ishes ,i##h0 left. <ther.ise yo) .o)ldn:t keep on livin! like this.6 Bho!i protested: 4Jo, noS (he lon!er / live, the more pain ,/as!t!a0 / s)ffer. /f / die it .ill be !ood.6 B)t Bani insisted that Bho!i:s .ishes m)st be ca)sin! her to lin!er on, and .arned that )ntil she 4c)t ?her@ maya6 she .o)ld not be able to die. Jot only can maya ca)se people to han! on into .asted old a!e, b)t it can also make the process of dyin! itself very slo. and painf)l. / asked one elderly ;ayastha .oman, +ita:s +a, .ho .as blind in one eye and lame in one le!, 4/s it !ood to try to !et rid of maya before death56 She ans.ered: 49t the time of death, maya does not !o a.ay. /t does not !o a.ay easily. 9t the time of death, ?the person@ is lyin! in the bed, and all the people are aro)nd him. 3e cannot say anythin!, b)t if yo) look at his eyes, yo) .ill see that tears are comin! o)t of them. 3e .ill cry. 3e can:t say anythin!N he:s )nconscio)sN his eyes are closed. B)t yo) .ill see that .ater is comin! o)t of his eyes. (hen people .ill say, P3e is cryin! from mayaN he is not able to !o: ,myte /nn /7d#he; 'ete %r#he n0.6 9fter death, a person .ith too m)ch maya may clin! to his or her familiar places and relations in the form of a lin!erin! !host, or "hHt.MNO >)r)saday +)kher2ee described this dan!er: 4/f someone dies .ith very m)ch maya or love ,"hlo"s0, then he .ill try to love after death. 3e .ill han! aro)nd his ho)sehold in the form of his s)btle body ,sH/s!ma deha0 and bother people. Some people call this a !host ,"hHt0.6 +ita:s +a, the old and partially blind ;ayastha .oman, .orried abo)t this possibility. She told me of the s)fferin! of the !host8ho. it becomes conf)sed, h)n!ry, and trapped, and painf)lly lon!s to be re)nited .ith its former ho)sehold: Mita7s Ma6 /f there is a lot of maya, then one can become a !host. SL6 <ne can become a !host5 Mita7s Ma6 =es, if there is a lot of maya, then ?the tm or so)l@ stays ca)!ht ?near@ the ho)se ,ghar0. (he more the ho)sehold people cry, the more the tm cannot leave. (he tm tries to !et inside the ho)se, b)t it can:t. /t has become closed. (hen the tm becomes h)n!ry. B)t it doesn:t kno. ho. to !et in. Jo one can see it.?E@ Mita7s Ma6

?.ho had been listenin!@ (he tm becomes late ?deri; da)ghter6 perhaps 4late for reachin! .here it is s)pposed to !o after death6@ beca)se it .ants to have some .ater. ?/ts@ throat becomes s)ch a .ay ,/i ra/am0 for the sake of the ho)se. Mita7s Ma6 =es, for the ho)se, the ho)se. (he ho)se is .here his maya is. 9nd for that reason, he cannot leave. 3e .ill take another birth .ithin the same "am!2a ,family line08that is .hat / have heard. SL6 /s that a !ood thin!5 ?(o me, the idea of a lon!in! person bein! reborn .ithin the same family line so)nded rather nice.@ Mita7s Ma6 Jo, the !ood thin! is to !o to heaven ,s&arga0, to attain release ,mu/ti0.

/n this scenario, the maya not only of the dyin! person b)t of the clin!in! and mo)rnin! s)rvivors as .ell is a problem, keepin! him bo)nd to his former ho)sehold as a !host: 4(he more the ho)sehold people cry,6 +ita:s +a reports, 4the more the tm cannot leave.6 (. J. +adan ,"D&E:"2%0 observes that 3ind)s !enerally believe that e7cessive attachment and clin!in! on the part of s)rvivin! relatives can ca)se one:s death to be lin!erin! and painf)l. +an!aldihi villa!ers most commonly defined the desired state of mu/ti or 4release,6 named by +ita:s +a, as liberation from the partic)lar bindin! ties of a lifetimeN above all, it entails freedom from lin!erin! !hosthood. Mu/ti also means the attainment of peace ,2nti or /hls0 and, perhaps, an opport)nity to d.ell temporarily in the realm of heaven, or s&arga. Some villa!ers, m)ch more rarely, spoke as .ell of mu/ti or mo/sha as the state of absol)te freedom from all ties to the .orld of sam!sr, a permanent end to the cycle of rebirths and redeathsN b)t all a!reed that this state .as virt)ally impossible to achieve and not m)ch .orth strivin! for.?&@ /t is maya that can prevent both forms of mo/sha8as permanent freedom from all ties and as freedom from the ties of one partic)lar life8from bein! achieved. H H H

Loosening Ties+ 5isassemb'ing ersons

+any in +an!aldihi e7perienced a conflict bet.een the nat)ral drive to ma7imiAe connections and the .ish to minimiAe the comple7ities of life and pains of separation at death. (o deal .ith this conflict, many older people tried vario)s approaches to )ndo the !ro.in! ties of their maya. / s)!!est here that the everyday ro)tines often practiced by older people that constit)ted aging .orked also as techniG)es for loosenin! their ties of maya or disassemblin! their personhoods, at least a bit.

(he set of practices associated .ith retirement to the 4senior sta!e6 ,"ur!o "ayas0 in +an!aldihi seemed to help in dissolvin! e7tensions of the person. S)ch practices incl)ded decenterin! and 4coolin!6 the body and heart1mind ,mnas0, as .ell as !ivin! )p one:s possessions and po.ers to others. 9!in! persons co)ld decenter themselves by physically relocatin! either inside or o)tside the ho)sehold. Pierre Bo)rdie) ,"DEE:&DOD"0 has s)!!ested that in the plan and )sa!e of a ho)se, f)ndamental c)lt)ral principles are !enerated, e7perienced, and ob2ectified. B)t most ethno!raphers ,incl)din! Bo)rdie)0 !enerally overlook the .ays in .hich hierarchies and val)es associated .ith a!e may inde7 ,or be inde7ed by0 )ses of domestic space. /n +an!aldihi ho)seholds, a primary dimension of the str)ct)rin! of old a!e .as a movement from center to periphery ,see chapter 20. (he h)b of activity and commin!lin! .as )s)ally the central co)rtyard or the main front veranda of a ho)se. (his .as .here people con!re!ated and socialiAed, ate, prepared food, st)died, ne!otiated b)siness deals, and freG)ently slept8often to!ether, in lon! lines of mats spread on the floor. Senior men and .omen, .ho had ad)lt sons and resident da)!hters1in1la. to s)cceed them, tended to move to the o)tskirts of the ho)sehold, perhaps restin! on a strin! cot at one end of the veranda, or tendin! a yo)n! child in a patch of .arm .inter s)n, or c)ttin! ve!etables .ith a c)rved iron kitchen knife ,.hile leavin! the act)al cookin! to a da)!hter1in1la.0, or listenin! to and .atchin! the activities of visitors and kin. S)ch moves to.ard the periphery indicated their freedom from former ties and d)ties, .hile also si!nalin! s)rrender of the kinds of control over !oods and people that are best e7ercised from centers. /t is th)s )ns)rprisin! that retirement to the ed!es of activity .as e7perienced ambivalently by most senior .omen and men, and .as often accompanied by serio)s inter!enerational conflict: the peripheral elder may rise in the hierarchy of respect and !ain freedom from enc)mberin! ties and responsibilities, b)t he or she loses tan!ible political and economic po.ers.?D@ /n addition, retirees displayed their !reater detachment from family centers by movin! beyond the confines of ho)sehold space: they spent more of their days at others: ho)ses chattin!, playin! cards, and drinkin! teaN restin! on the cool platforms of templesN and loiterin! at shops or on roadsides, simply .atchin! people come and !o. (hese behaviors, appropriate for them, .o)ld have been criticiAed amon! yo)n!er persons, especially yo)n! .omen, as defections from d)ty. +ost sa. their seniority as presentin! opport)nities for leavin! the villa!e to visit married da)!hters or )ndertake pil!rima!es to fara.ay holy places. Senior people also tended to remove themselves increasin!ly from the 4heat6 of a ho)sehold:s ma2or transactional flo.s. (h)s elders .ere )s)ally fed before and separately from others, a privile!e that reflected their seniority and at the same time kept them from mi7in! their s)bstance .ith others:. (he principal married co)ple of a ho)se .hose sons .ere not yet married .ere felt to be at the .arm, reprod)ctive, and redistrib)tive h)man 4center6 ,m'h/hne0 of life in a Ben!ali ho)seholdN they made decisions for and !ave food, kno.led!e, and services to all the others aro)nd them, incl)din! retirees and the yo)n! children .ho .ere located on the ho)sehold:s peripheries. Co)ples .ho had passed that central reprod)ctive and c)linary sta!e commonly became celibate, conventionally sayin!, 4/t:s the time of the yo)n! ones no.N o)r time has passed,6 or feelin! it 4embarrassin!6 or 4improper6 for t.o !enerations sim)ltaneo)sly to en!a!e in se7)al relations ,see also S. Mat)k "DD0:E$0. (hese c)rtailments of ho)sehold !ivin!s and receivin!s .ere desirable, a fe. villa!ers told me, beca)se they red)ced possible competition, as .ell as makin! the retired heads more 4separate6 ,%r!tha/0 in anticipation of their moves to.ard )ltimate separation. Jitai +)kher2ee, my companion 3ena:s father, described his late1life strate!ies: 4/ don:t !ive anythin! to anyone, and / don:t take anythin! from anyone either. / have become absol)tely separate ,%r!tha/0, absol)tely sin!)lar ,e/0. Before / didn:t )nderstand thin!s so .ell and / )sed to mi7 ,mi2tm0 .ith people, b)t not any more.6 Ietirees .ho took peripheral places in +an!aldihi ho)seholds spoke also of the bodily chan!es that

accompanied this transition. <lder people characteriAed their bodies as increasin!ly 4cool6 ,t!hn!d!0 and 4dry6 ,2u/na0.?"0@ 9ccordin! to local theories, coolin! and dryin! constrict the channels thro)!h .hich an individ)al:s s)bstances flo. and mi7 .ith those of others, thereby makin! the bodies of older people relatively self1contained. 9ltho)!h people vie.ed bodily coolin! and dryin! as part of the physiolo!y of a!in!, most also took steps to enco)ra!e these nat)ral internal chan!es. (h)s some people, especially )pper1caste .ido.s and men .ho professed spirit)al !oals, be!an methodically e7cl)din! from their diets any 4hot6 ,garam0 foods ,s)ch as meat, fish, onions, and !arlic0, .hich they tho)!ht .o)ld e7cite their .orldly passions and attachments ,/ disc)ss .ido.s: dietary practices f)rther in chapter E0. (he celibacy commonly practiced by ,and e7pected of0 elders .as also re!arded as a 4coolin!6 lifestyle, and many older .omen and men told me that beca)se of the coolin! and dryin! of their bodies, they .o)ld not be able to en!a!e in se7)al activity even if they had .anted to. By .earin! clothin! that .as mainly .hite ,a 4cool6 color0, most older people advertised their celibacy or .ido.hood, their claims of se7)al p)rity, and their !eneral intention to reno)nce the .orld for the sake of their so)l1selves. (he transition to .hite .as especially dramatic for .omen, .ho d)rin! their reprod)ctive years !enerally favored red, a 4hot6 color si!nalin! se7)ality, fertility, and a)spicio)s attachments. Merbal techniG)es, too, co)ld both red)ce .orldly connections and promote heavenly ones. 9r!)in! and c)rsin! .ere sometimes )sed, perhaps )n.ittin!ly, to promote alienation. (his may be .hy the a!ed Bho!i Ba!di )sed to sit in the middle of the d)sty lane in front of her m)d ho)se, lo)dly beratin! and effectively drivin! a.ay any of her sons, sons: .ives, or nei!hbors .ho mi!ht be .ithin hearin!. =o)n!er people co)ld practice similar methods to red)ce their maya, .hen necessary. <ver the .eeks before 3ena .as to be married, she .o)ld sometimes plead .ith me to ar!)e .ith her, and she .o)ld pick fi!hts .ith me. She had been livin! in my home for abo)t si7 or seven months and .e had become very close. <nce after .e had G)arreled she apolo!iAed and e7plained, 4=o) see, if .e fi!ht .ith each other no., then / can c)t the maya a little "e$ore / have to leave.6 Some elders similarly attempted to loosen their bonds .ith their o.n bodies by deni!ratin! their flesh, .hich they compared .ith old clothin! that sho)ld be discarded, or .ith rice plants that have dropped their seeds and are abo)t to .ither a.ay. <thers spent ho)rs every day and fell asleep at ni!ht chantin! the names of deities so they mi!ht .eaken their o.n earthly ties and acc)stom their so)ls to the disco)rses of the heavenly abodes they desired. People diminished their ties of maya to thin!s as .ell, freein! themselves of their favorite possessions in late life8!ivin! a.ay property, 2e.elry, favorite saris, keepsakes. >)r)saday +)kher2ee e7plained, 4+aya and attachment ,sa/ti0 increase in proportion to the amo)nt of possessions held. Cor this reason,6 he added, 4.ise people .on:t .ear shoes or eye!lasses in old a!e.6 <ne Brahman .ido., Petan Pisi, told me: 4Last Becember / !ave all my land to my da)!hter in .ritin!.F?Jo. / am@ completely possessionless ,nis&a0.6 (o be possessionless ,nis&a0 is also a .ay of sayin! that one is 4.itho)t self6 ,from ni, 4.itho)t,6 and s&a, 4self60, for possessions help make )p a person or self. She .ent on to e7plain that property both is heavy ,"hr30 in itself and also ties one to others .ho .ish to share in it: 4/ didn:t keep all of those heavy thin!s. -ealth ,artha0 is a very heavy thin!. +any people .anted it. <ne .o)ld say, P>ive me this,: and another .o)ld say, P>ive me that.: =et another .o)ld say, PCome stay .ith me, /:ll look after yo).: B)t / didn:t !ive anythin! to anyone b)t my da)!hter. / said, P-hen / have someone from my o.n belly, /:ll !ive it to her.:F/ have no need for money. /t:s a very heavy thin!. -hat / need is >avinda ,>od0.6 (hakakrisna (hak)r, at a!e ninety1si7 the second oldest person in +an!aldihi, described ho. he had abandoned his possessions, incl)din! the sacred thread or %ait that Brahman men .ear, in an attempt to free himself from the bindin!s ,"andhan0 that seemed to be keepin! him alive. 3e spoke in a pained voice, soft and raspy .ith a!e, as he lay on a stra. mat at one ed!e of the family:s veranda: 4/ tore off

both the sacred thread ,%ait0 and "ais!n!a" ml,M@@O beca)se / felt that they .ere bindin! ,"andhan0. / tho)!ht that if / opened them then / .o)ld die. 3o. many more days .ill / have to s)ffer like this5F/ have abandoned all thin!s. Before / never thre. anythin! o)t, not even one piece of !rain, b)t no. / have !iven it all a.ay.6 -hen / asked Satya Jarayan +)kher2ee, 3ena:s .hite1bearded )ncle, 4-hat more do yo) .ant to do in the rest of yo)r life56 he ans.ered: 4/f my da)!hters: .eddin!s happen, then / .o)ld like to start an ashram. / .ill say >od:s name from the ashram for the rest of my life.F/ .ant to live completely .itho)t attachments ,nirli%ta "h"e0. / .ant to have no more responsibilities ,dyit&a0. (his is my inner .ish8to !o on to this sta!e.F/f .ealth ,artha0 e7ists there is no peace ,2nti0. (hat:s .hy people say, P3appiness is at the cremation !ro)ndN peace is at the cremation !ro)nd.:F3e .ho is happy is he .ho abandons ,tyg30.6 By movin! from the center to the peripheries of ho)sehold life, coolin! the body, diminishin! their s)bstance by !ivin! a.ay possessions, and transcendin! the self and its ties by min!lin! .ith >od, many +an!aldihi seniors strove to shrink those personal e7tensions that .ere kno.n as maya. B)t .e m)st reco!niAe that those .ho spoke the most e7plicitly abo)t the need to c)t maya in late life .ere the .ell1off and )pper castes. (he most conspic)o)sly favored .ith property and plentif)l descendants .ere said to be in the most dan!er of becomin! e7cessively bo)nd by maya. +ost of the lo.er1caste people in +an!aldihi, for instance, co)ld not afford eye!lasses, so they .o)ld not have the l)7)ry of re2ectin! them to dra. back on themselves in old a!e. 9ltho)!h lo.er1caste people did sometimes voice concerns to me abo)t maya, they .ere often m)ch more .orried abo)t immediate economic needs, s)ch as proc)rin! the ne7t meal, or a sha.l to keep .arm, than abo)t ho. to achieve a peacef)l old a!e, death, and afterlife. Some of the criticisms / heard in lo.er1caste nei!hborhoods a!ainst people like ;h)di (hakr)n8.ho maintained .hat some condemned as an )nseemly hold over her .ealth into her senior years8co)ld th)s be vie.ed as a ,limited0 form of attack by the .eaker and poorer a!ainst s)periors, one of their 4.eapons of the .eak6 ,Lames Scott "D&%0: a circ)mscribed .ay of valoriAin! the 4poor6 or 4small6 person ,gari" lo/,#hot!o lo/0 over the 4rich6 and 4bi!6 ,"or!o0. H H H

i'grims+ -eggars+ and O'd Age 0ome 5we''ers

9ltho)!h dominant disco)rses in the +an!aldihi re!ion, as thro)!ho)t north /ndia, proclaim that elderly people sho)ld live .ith their descendants .ithin homes filled .ith e7tended family, / co)ld not help noticin!, as / traveled thro)!h train stations, cities, pil!rima!e spots, and even +an!aldihi:s lanes, that many did not follo. the 4appropriate6 co)rse. (he ma2ority of pil!rims in -est Ben!al, on spirit)al b)s to)rs or livin! permanently aro)nd temples at holy sites, are .hite1clad people old eno)!h to be !randparents. Be!!ars in r)ral Ben!al are also more often than not advanced in a!e, .ith .hite hair and !arb and leanin! on lon! .alkin! sticks. <ther people no. are t)rnin! to old a!e homes in Calc)tta ,or other s)ch ma2or north /ndian cities0 to live o)t their final days. /t may seem stran!e to !ro)p to!ether these three classes of people8pil!rims, be!!ars, and old a!e home d.ellers8b)t / !rad)ally discovered profo)nd similarities in their e7periences. 9ll .ere livin!, temporarily or permanently, o)tside of sam!sr, or ho)sehold life. +ost of the be!!ars and old a!e home residents / met ,and some of the pil!rims, especially the permanent ones0 had been forced to leave their ho)seholds beca)se they had no money, land, or sons on .hom they co)ld depend for s)pport. /n many .ays, they .ere the poorest of the poor. =et over time / .as str)ck by a common refrain in many of their stories: 4(his life has been so painf)l,6 one old .oman, .ido.ed in childhood, told me from the co)rtyard of the temple .here she resided, 4b)t in one sense it:s been !ood: / don:t have all the bindin!s of maya.6

Ta>ing i'grimages in Late Li$e6 Loosening Ties thro)gh O)ter Wandering

<ver the first year or so of my stay in +an!aldihi, / had heard many older people tell the stories of their pil!rima!es to holy 4crossin! places6 ,t3rthasthns0,?"2@ s)ch as >aya, 3ard.ar, and Maranasi alon! the >an!es, and to P)ri at the .ondro)s ocean in <rissa. (hey spoke, as 9nn >old ,"D&&:2'#0 notes of pil!rims in Ia2asthan, of pil!rima!e as an appropriate activity for the old. B)t altho)!h / had .ritten in my vario)s research proposals that /, too, .o)ld !o on one of the pop)lar dar2an b)s pil!rima!es and investi!ate the meanin!s and aims of pil!rima!e for older Ben!alis, my so2o)rn in +an!aldihi had almost come to a close before / fo)nd a pil!rima!e leavin! from the re!ion. <ne day early in my second sprin!, 2)st .hen it .as becomin! almost too hot to consider takin! s)ch a 2o)rney, three older +an!aldihi .omen, all .ido.s from the ;)l) ,a middle1caste0 nei!hborhood, informed me that they had si!ned )p to !o to P)ri. (he b)s .o)ld be leavin! in three days, loaded .ith people from a n)mber of s)rro)ndin! villa!es. / immediately so)!ht o)t the leader of the b)s to)r at the local !overnment ration store to reserve a place. B)t three days later, as / .aited seven ho)rs .ith my fello. +an!aldihi pil!rims by the side of a sparsely shaded road for a b)s that, it seemed, .o)ld never come, / be!an to have mis!ivin!s: /f the b)s is seven ho)rs late no., .hat .ill the rest of the trip be like5 S)mmer is settin! in8.ill / be able to bear the s.elterin! heat for a .eek on a crammed b)s5 9nd .hat if there are no older folk besides my +an!aldihi companions on this to)r5 9fter all, / had come to /ndia to st)dy a!in!, not pil!rima!e per se. -o)ld / have to s)ffer a .eek on a cro.ded b)s pil!rima!e .itho)t !ainin! anythin! tan!ible for my research5 (he last of these .orries, if not the others, .as ass)a!ed as the b)s finally arrived. / .earily boarded and .as pleased to see a sea of .hite saris and dhotis, the s)re si!n of a b)sload of people .ho consider themselves 4senior6 ,"ur!o0. /ndeed, abo)t E0 percent of the people on this b)s .ere G)ite advanced in a!e. (here .ere forty1five pil!rims on the 2o)rneyN thirty1one co)ld be classified as old, .ith married children, !rayin! hair, and predominantly .hite clothin!. 9bo)t t.o1thirds of these elders, or almost half of the total !ro)p, .ere .ido.s. (he five yo)n! men .ho acted as !)ides confirmed that the pil!rims on s)ch b)s to)rs )s)ally .ere older people. ,9ltho)!h, they added, it .o)ld be easier for the guides if the pil!rims .ere yo)n!er. 43ave yo) noticed ho. these people have to )rinate and defecate all the time5 Bid yo) see ho. .e had to carry that old !randfather do.n from the S)n temple o)tside of P)ri560 (he pil!rims .ere from a variety of castes, hi!h and lo.8incl)din! Brahmans ,""0, ;ayasthas ,D0, ;)l)s ,D0, Chasas ,E0, S)ris ,#0, Boms ,$0, and Bor!is ,208and they came from five different villa!es in the +an!aldihi re!ion. 9bo)t half of the pil!rims ,most of the .ido.s0 .ere travelin! aloneN the others came .ith one or a fe. relatives, )s)ally a spo)se, son, or siblin!. 9ll .ere fairly .ell1to1do, for takin! s)ch a 2o)rney reG)ires considerable f)nds8the initial b)s fare of "%0 r)pees, pl)s the constant stream of money that po)rs o)t to temple !ods, pil!rim priests, be!!ars, and tea stalls alon! the .ay. (he .eeklon! trip c)lminated at the La!annath temple and ocean at P)ri, b)t the b)s also stopped at n)mero)s smaller temples and t3rthasthns, incl)din! the old terra1cotta temples at Mishn)p)r in -est Ben!al and Bh)banes.ar in <rissa. 9t ni!ht .e slept either on the b)s or on the !ro)nd ne7t to it, .ith the e7ception of t.o relatively l)7)rio)s ni!hts spent at a dharma2l, or pil!rim:s shelter, in P)ri. +ost people:s diets consisted lar!ely of parched rice ,mur!i0 bro)!ht from home, tho)!h some of the .ealthier pil!rims and those less finicky abo)t p)rity so)!ht o)t hot meals of rice and dal at small roadside resta)rants kno.n as 4hotels.6 /n e7aminin! this b)s 2o)rney, / foc)s only on ho. Ben!alis vie. the relationship bet.een pil!rima!e and the self in old a!e.?"#@ (he pil!rims on o)r .eeklon! b)s to)r, and older people from +an!aldihi .ho had !one on other pil!rima!es, responded in several .ays to my G)estions abo)t .hy old a!e is

considered an appropriate time for takin! pil!rima!es. Cirst, some said, it is their last opport)nity to !o. 9fter this, they .ill die, or their bodies .ill become too .eak ,dur"al0 and decrepit ,'r0 to .ithstand s)ch a 2o)rney. +ost also stressed that .ith their children married, they are for the first time free to leave home. =o)n!er people, several said, are 4in the field of sam!sr 6N they are too b)sy .ith ho)sehold .ork to have the l)7)ry of departin! on s)ch trips. B)t for those .ho have sons and da)!hters1in1la. to take care of ho)sehold responsibilities, old a!e offers a ne. opport)nity to 2o)rney. Several older .omen also mentioned that they felt free to !o on pil!rima!es only after they had ceased to menstr)ate. /t is a 4!reat sin6 ,mah%%0 to !o on a pil!rima!e8and especially to bo. do.n before a temple !od8.hile menstr)atin!N so postmenopa)sal .omen are most fit to be pil!rims ,see chapter ' for more on menopa)se0. Several yo)n!er .omen of +an!aldihi spoke to me lon!in!ly abo)t !oin! on the b)s to)r to P)ri, and even toyed .ith the idea amon! themselves and .ith their h)sbands )p )ntil the very end. B)t in the end each decided that she co)ld not !o8either beca)se of ho)sehold responsibilities, the inability to attain a h)sband:s permission, fear of menstr)ation, or lack of f)nds. People also told them, 4=o)r time for pil!rima!e has not come yet. =o) can !o later.6 Cor older pil!rims .ho have the freedom from sam!sr to embark on pil!rima!es, 2o)rneyin! to distant temples and crossin! places can be a partic)larly effective means of loosenin! all ties to ho)sehold life. Several pil!rims mentioned e7plicitly that they sa. the pil!rima!e as an important point of transition from life in the ho)sehold to a life of foc)s on >od. >old notes that some of the older pil!rims on her b)s trip from Ia2asthan to P)ri also spoke of the trip 4as a ma2or break in their .ays of livin!. 9fter they ret)rned they .o)ld devote themselves sin!le1mindedly to praisin! >od6 ,"D&&:2'#0. (o be s)re, older pil!rims on this and other 2o)rneys !ave other reasons for !oin! on pil!rima!es as .ell. (ho)!h G)ite varied, these divided people into t.o ma2or cate!ories: those .ho .ent simply 4to see6 ,de/hte0 and those .ho .ent 4to do t3rtha 6 ,t3rtha /arte, literally 4to do crossin!,6 or to !o on a pil!rima!e0. +any claimed that their motivation for takin! the 2o)rney .as to do both. 4Seein!6 incl)des the pleas)res of travelin!, vie.in! distant places and sites, meetin! ne. people, brin!in! back so)venirs, and havin! f)n ,nanda /ar0. +ost of the yo)n!er pil!rims on the b)s to)r emphasiAed these reasons, and many of the older people also incl)ded the 2oys of 4seein!6 in reco)ntin! the fr)its of the 2o)rney. 4Boin! t3rtha 6 is another matter alto!ether. (o do t3rtha distinctly involves s)fferin! and e7ertion ,/as!t!a0. / learned this on the first mornin! of the trip, .hen8after .e had all s)ffered thro)!h an entire day .aitin! impatiently for the b)s to come, and then spent a restless ni!ht on a stalled b)s only abo)t three ho)rs do.n the road from o)r villa!e homes8many of the pil!rims be!an to complain lo)dly that they .ere h)n!ry, tired, and needed a place to relieve themselvesN that .e hadn:t !otten any.here yetN and that somethin! m)st be terribly .ron! .ith o)r !)ides for !ettin! )s off to s)ch an )npromisin! start. Several of the other pil!rims, ho.ever, chided the complainers ,incl)din! me, .ho .as one of the more vocal amon! them0, sayin!, 4(o do t3rtha yo) m)st s)ffer.6 (hey added, 4/f yo) .anted to sleep and eat, yo) sho)ld have stayed at home. -e:ve come to do t3rtha. (herefore .e m)st s)ffer ,/as!t!a /arte hae0.6 9nd: 4/f the 2o)rney is comfortable, then travelin! ,"er!no0 happens, b)t not t3rtha. (o do t3rtha, yo) m)st have tro)bles ,/as!t!a0 alon! the .ay.6 Boin! t3rtha .as also tho)!ht to involve takin! dar2an ,a)spicio)s si!ht0 of !ods, eatin! %rasd ,the leftovers of deities0, and !ivin! o)t money to deities, temple priests, and be!!arsN b)t it seemed to me that perhaps the most important in!redient .as s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0. (he s)fferin!s to be end)red on a proper pil!rima!e incl)de, / came to learn, sleepin! on the !ro)nd and on cramped b)s seats, !oin! barefoot, .earin! cr)mpled clothin!, becomin! h)n!ry and thin, !ivin! o)t too m)ch money into the insistent hands of pil!rim priests and be!!ars, bein! pla!)ed by mosG)itoes, !ettin! dysentery from forei!n .aters, and simply bein! far a.ay from the comforts and company of home life. (hese kinds of s)fferin!s are )sef)l in that they all entail !ivin! )p thin!s,

emptyin! oneself, and loosenin! attachments to the people, !oods, and .ays of home. 9s >old .rites: 4Pil!rima!e helps to loosen all kinds of bonds.F(he effect is one of li!htenin!: the ret)rnin! pil!rim sho)ld be thinner and poorer6 ,"D&&:2'#0. Ben!ali pil!rims say that .itho)t li!htenin! oneself and end)rin! hardships in this .ay, one cannot really reach >od. 9nd li!htenin! the self thro)!h s)fferin! can also be an effective techniG)e of red)cin! the bindin!s of maya. /t is specifically thro)!h /as!t!a8 by forsakin! material comforts, the pleas)res of home life, the company of loved ones, the tastes of plentif)l food8that persons diminish their s)bstance, become li!hter and freer, c)t the ties of maya. *ffective pil!rima!e m)st involve tro)bles beca)se, Ben!alis say, any time that maya is 4c)t,6 /as!t!a m)st be end)red. +ost on this pil!rima!e remarked, ho.ever, that even .hile end)rin! the ri!oro)s practice of pil!rima!e, they cannot f)lly c)t maya. <ne pil!rim, a .ell1ed)cated older man of the S)ri caste named Bh)deb Saha, told a fe. fello. pil!rims on the final day of o)r 2o)rney: 4/ came on this pil!rima!e to do t.o .orks ,/'0. <ne .as to take dar2an of the !ods. (he other .as to !ive )p all the thin!s of sam!sr ,ho)sehold life0. B)t,6 he added in a somber tone, f)ll of emotion, .hile !est)rin! to his .ife sittin! ne7t to him, 4/ left everythin! to come, b)t / co)ldn:t leave her.6 9 fello. pil!rim asked in a teasin! tone, smilin!, 4-hat .ill happen .hen yo) die5 (hen yo) .ill ha&e to c)t yo)r maya and leave her.6 (he first pil!rim did not respond. (ears .elled in his eyes and he sat silently for a moment. (hen he .iped his eyes dry and chan!ed the s)b2ect. <ther pil!rims complained that they had s)ffered too m)ch on the 2o)rney, that they had become too empty. (hey did not see s)ch a de!ree of self1diminishin! to be necessary and .ere lookin! for.ard to ret)rnin! to the familiar comforts and attachments of home. <ne elderly Brahman pil!rim, .ho had made the 2o)rney .ith his .ife, stated decisively on the final day: 4Crom no. on /:m stayin! at home. / don:t .ant to !o on any more pil!rima!es. 9ll of these people .ant to take all of o)r money. (hey have taken everythin! o)t of my ba! and left me completely empty ,/hli0. Crom no. on /:m not !oin! to leave home.6 *ven .hen they so)!ht to move a.ay from ho)sehold life on a pil!rima!e, most said that it is impossible to c)t the ties of maya alto!ether. /n the end, people tend to clin! to at least a fe. possessions or persons they hold most dear, s)ch as a spo)se, home, or money.

Wandering -eggars
Like pil!rims, most of the be!!ars in r)ral -est Ben!al are older people. +ost villa!es in the +an!aldihi re!ion s)pport a fe. re!)lar senior be!!ars. +an!aldihi had three. 9ltho)!h be!!in! is not )s)ally be!)n by choice, and altho)!h it entails even more s)fferin! than the temporary ri!ors of pil!rima!e, some be!!ars .hom / enco)ntered claimed that a life of be!!in! prod)ces many of the same fr)its, and even more dramatically: an emptyin! and li!htenin! of the self, a loosenin! of ties. By .anderin! contin)ally from place to place, be!!ars loosen their attachments to partic)lar homes, villa!es, and soils. By livin! essentially alone, they ease their attachments to kin, nei!hbors, and friends. By eatin! food prepared and offered by n)mero)s others, be!!ars become partially mi7ed .ith many b)t thoro)!hly mi7ed .ith none. By livin! .itho)t possessions and dispersin! money as soon as it is received, be!!ars forsake bindin! ties .ith belon!in!s and material .ealth. Be!!ars become some of the li!htest, most )nconnected, and peripheral people of all, similar to the sannys3s, or ascetics, that 3ind) te7ts recommend as modelin! the last life sta!e. >ranted, none of the be!!ars .ho spoke to me of the advanta!es of be!!in! had p)rposef)lly left behind a prospero)s family of carin! sons in order to c)ltivate an ascetic, .anderin! lifestyle. *ach had been driven to be!!in! o)t of poverty, and )s)ally o)t of sonlessness as .ell. =et several e7plicitly described ho., after many days of be!!in!, they had come to realiAe the maya1red)cin! benefits of s)ch a red)ced, yo!ic life. (he be!!ar .ho voiced this perspective most artic)lately .as Praf)lla 9dhikari, kno.n in +an!aldihi

as 4Cl)ber Bad)6 or the Cl)b:s >randfather, as he .as initially fo)nd and bro)!ht to +an!aldihi by several yo)ths of the +an!aldihi yo)n! men:s 4cl)b6 on one of their picnic o)tin!s to a nearby ;ali temple and cremation !ro)nd. (hey had fo)nd the old be!!ar asleep lyin! face do.n on the !ro)nd, dr)nk, and .hen he .oke )p they pers)aded him to ret)rn .ith them to +an!aldihi. (his happened several months before / moved into the villa!e. Cl)ber Bad) .as a Brahman man .ho had never married and had spent most of his life movin! from location to location doin! temporary 2obs8 .orkin! in a s)pply office for the British, cookin! for a medical colle!e, r)nnin! errands for a Calc)tta bank, and the like. B)t after he had lost a 2ob as a threshin! machine operator several years earlier, he had not been able to find any more .ork. 49!e had happened,6 he e7plained. 4/ didn:t have the stren!th / )sed to. Crom then on ?/ have had@ this profession, of be!!in!.6 /t .as not easy for him to be!in be!!in!. 9fter he had e7ha)sted his mea!er savin!s, he had spent several days sittin! in a tea shop in a small to.n named >ar!ariya near +an!aldihi, cons)min! nothin! b)t t.o or three c)ps of tea a day. <ne noon, the local schoolteacher invited him to his home to eat a meal, b)t that .as 2)st one meal. Cinally, after fo)r days had passed like this, another old be!!ar came to the shop and said, 43ey, yo) sho)ld come be!!in! .ith me.6 4/t .as he .ho first ta)!ht me ho. to be!,6 Cl)ber Bad) told me. 4/ .ent .ith him for the first time to be! at a +)ci ?leather.orkin! caste@ ho)se. (hen / co)ldn:t really do it ri!ht. /t )sed to bother me a lot. B)t no. it:s !otten all ri!ht. /f ?one:s@ head.ritin! ?i.e., fate .ritten on one:s forehead@ is bad, then my type of condition happens. Jo. / have only one identity8as a be!!ar ,"hi/hri0. / have no ho)se. / live on the road.6 /n +an!aldihi, Cl)ber Bad) did end )p !ainin! a ho)se of sorts, tho)!h he contin)ed to vie. himself as homeless. 9 prospero)s ;)l) man of the villa!e donated a ten1foot sG)are piece of land across from the villa!e post office on .hich several yo)n! men b)ilt a tiny m)d h)t. (here Cl)ber Bad) spent most of his ni!hts. By day he .o)ld .ander aro)nd the villa!e be!!in!. Some days people .o)ld offer him leftovers from a cooked meal or even invite him in to eat, and on other days he .o)ld simply boil )p .hatever rice he had collected in his be!!in! bo.l and eat that. Sometimes he .o)ld leave for a fe. days or even months, b)t over the ei!hteen months that / .as there he contin)ed to ret)rn to +an!aldihi as his most freG)ent abode. (his man described his life as one f)ll of sadness ,du/ha0, s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0, and silent h)n!er. B)t at the same time, he spoke of the advanta!es of his life as a driftin! be!!ar, beca)se it had made him free of the bindin!s of maya, !ivin! him m)ch !reater peace ,2nti0 than co)ld be en2oyed by those .ho p)rs)e a ho)sehold life. 3e narrated his life story one .inter afternoon, from his cramped m)d h)tN some e7cerpts follo.. *ver since then / be!an a life of be!!in!. B)t this kind of life is happy. Beca)se .hether / eat or don:t eat, there:s no one to see it or .orry abo)t it. Jo hassles. <n the days that / be!, / eat. /f / don:t be!, / don:t eat. / have no .ife or sons, none of the hassles of ho)sehold life ,sam!sr0. / live o)tside of sam!sr. / can perceive sam!sr, b)t / don:t have the bindin!s ,"andhan0 of maya.F / asked then, 4/s it !ood or bad to have the bindin!s of maya56 3e contin)ed: /t is !ood if the bindin!s of maya do not e7ist. /n this .ay the tm ,so)l0 receives peace ,2nti0. Beca)se the bindin!s of maya are passin! ?or 4momentary,6 samayi/@. /t is !ood to attain release ,mu/ti0 from this passin! bindin!.F/ didn:t )se to )nderstand this. B)t even then, .itho)t )nderstandin!, / didn:t do sam!sr ?i.e., make a family life@. Jo. / realiAe that this ?absence of sam!sr@ is ri!ht. 3o)sehold people ,sam!sri lo/0 are very rarely happy. (hey .orry. B)t / don:t have any of that. 9s a res)lt, / do s)ffer some, b)t / !ain m)ch more peace ,2nti0. <f co)rse, he did .orry at times, if not abo)t ho. to feed a .ife and sons, then abo)t .ho .o)ld

perform his f)neral rites after he died, or ho. lon! he .o)ld remain .elcome in +an!aldihi. <ne day he came to tell me that he had decided to leave +an!aldihi, for he had be!)n to feel that people no lon!er !reeted him .armly and !ave to him openly as they once did. 3e san! me a son! that he said he had composed abo)t his life: <f those .hose lives are filled only .ith tears, / am amon! that !ro)p. Jot a !arland of pl)ms, b)t a necklace of thorns / have .orn aro)nd my neck. (his is not a son! b)t the cryin! of my heart. (he de. of all of life:s sorro.s is fallin! in the dark forest ni!ht. Be!!in! may brin! peace and a freedom from the bindin! ties of maya, b)t it entails m)ch s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0. (he Bad) sin!s, 4(he de. of all of life:s sorro.s is fallin! in the dark forest ni!ht,6 that is, .here there is no one even to .atch it fall.

O'd Age 0ome 5we''ers

<ld a!e homes are still a relatively ne. and rare phenomenon in /ndia. 9s / noted in chapter #, vario)s Christian1r)n homes for the a!ed have e7isted in /ndia for over a h)ndred years, and they are vie.ed by many as vesti!es of a colonial era. Iesidents of s)ch Christian homes for the a!ed are primarily 9n!lo1/ndians and converted ChristiansN fe. are 3ind)s or +)slims. /n "DE&, ho.ever, the first non1 Christian old a!e home in north /ndia opened in so)th Calc)tta. (he home .as called Javanir ,Je. Jest0 3ome for the 9!ed and .as fo)nded by a nonprofit or!aniAation, the -omen:s Coordinatin! Co)ncil, primarily to ho)se .ell1ed)cated Calc)tta .omen ,mostly childless .ido.s and never1 married .omen0 .ho had no place to !o.?"$@ 9 second Javanir home .as opened in "D&2, and old a!e homes have spr)n! )p in several other ma2or /ndian cities as .ell. <ld a!e homes .ere vie.ed by most people / spoke .ith as feat)res of an overly -esterniAed and de!enerate modern society, a society that is characteriAed by e7cessive independence and a lack of family love ,see chapter #0. B)t they .ere also bein! reinterpreted, by some of the residents ,or ms3ms, 4maternal a)nties60 .ho live in them, as a kind of Indian instit)tion8a place comparable perhaps to the 4forest6 that 3ind) te7ts describe 4forest d.ellers6 ,&na%rastha0 as livin! in d)rin! their third sta!e of life, as they leave the realm of the ho)sehold. Several of the Javanir .omen / intervie.ed made 2)st this comparison, sayin! that it .as all ri!ht that they lived in s)ch a home, for it .as like enterin! the 4forest1d.ellin!6 sta!e of life. Several .ere also relieved that s)ch an instit)tion e7isted ,re!ardless of its potential spirit)al benefits0, for they felt that their other options mi!ht have been limited to livin! on the streets. +any also spoke of livin! in an old a!e home as a process of c)ttin! maya for kin, homes, and belon!in!s8for they had had to leave all these persons and thin!s behind. +ost of the Javanir .omen a!reed that partic)larly for them, maya sho)ld be c)t in old a!e, even if the tendency is for it to increase8beca)se they are bein! forced to live apart from their loved ones and thin!s. 3o. painf)l it is to live in an old a!e home if yo) still have maya for yo)r family and belon!in!sS several told me. Several declared simply, /t is time to die8.hat more need do / have of

maya5 <ne .oman .ho had been a schoolteacher most of her life and had never married e7plained the problem of maya, partic)larly as it pertained to those livin! in old a!e homes: +aya increases ?.ith a!e@, / think. 9t least as far as / )nderstand, as a!e increases, so does maya increase. B)t, at present, it is better not to make so m)ch maya, not to have so m)ch maya.F-hy5 Beca)se .e ?in Javanir@ have to live apart from everyone. / see everyone here ?in this home@8there are those .ho have made families, those .ho have fit and .orthy sons and !randchildren8.ho have everyoneS8and still, even then, they have had to come here. So, .hat !ood does maya do5 9nd it:s time for )s to !o ?i.e., die@. So .hat need is there for maya5 B)t maya is s)ch a thin!8that it cannot be moved o)t from the heart. 9fter years of livin! in an old a!e home s)ch as Javanir, tho)!h, many ackno.led!ed that their maya had be!)n to abate. Since maya tends to increase .ith increased sharin! and e7chan!in! of food, .ords, beds, ho)sehold spaces, and the like, maya .anes .hen people live apart from and c)t off e7chan!es .ith each other. /ncidentally, that is .hy 9mericans, several of these kno.led!eable )rban 4a)nts6 said, do not have m)ch maya for each other or for their elders: families in 9merica are small and separated. -omen in Javanir left behind not only kin b)t most of their possessions, comin! to live in a dormitory1style settin! .ith fo)r residents to a room, each .ith a cot and a corner in .hich to place a fe. belon!in!s. Several mentioned that they conscio)sly strove to loosen their bonds to the .orld even more after enterin! the home, by t)rnin! their minds to.ard >od, chantin! >od:s name, and performin! %H's ,reli!io)s rit)als0. Still, even after makin! the radical and separative move to an old a!e home, most said that it takes a lon! time of immense sadness ,du/ha0 and s)fferin! ,/as!t!a0 to ca)se maya to be c)t. L)st as maya intensifies slo.ly as people live to!ether, so it takes a lon! time to fade a.ay. +any of the old a!e home a)nts .ept in their intervie.s .ith me, thinkin! of sons, da)!hters, nephe.s, or nieces .hom they no lon!er see. <ne .oman, the .ido.ed mother of an only da)!hter, admitted: 4Cor me, maya hasn:t completely left yet ?she la)!hed a bit sheepishly, apolo!etically@. /:ve only been here for a short time8three years8and / .as .ith them ?my da)!hter and son1in1la.@ for so lon!. So that:s .hy / still have it. B)t /:m tryin! to t)rn my mind to.ard >od. Beca)se .hat need have / for maya no.5 /t:s time for me to !o. So .hat need is there for maya5 / try to keep my mind stron!. B)t maya does not !o a.ay easily.6 H H H

The .o&s and eri's o$ Remaining :0ot; and Centra'+ E%en in a Ri*e O'd Age
Jot all the people / kne. in and aro)nd +an!aldihi spent their old a!e practicin! techniG)es of coolin! and decenterin!. ;h)di (hakr)n, +an!aldihi villa!e:s oldest member ,described more f)lly in chapter #0, .as a notable e7ample of a .oman .ho remained 4hot6 and central, f)lly en!rossed .ith family and villa!e affairs, even at her ripe old a!e of ninety1seven. >ranted, this Brahman .ido. did practice some of the coolin! and decenterin! techniG)es c)ltivated by most older Ben!alis: she .ore entirely plain .hite clothin! and ate a strict ve!etarian dietN she ate most of her meals separate from others, before anyone else in her ho)seholdN she slept in a room of her o.nN and, after arran!in! all of her children:s marria!es and becomin! a .ido., she had embarked on several pil!rima!es. 3o.ever, she remained in many .ays one of the more centrally involved fi!)res of the villa!e. She roamed the villa!e daily8arran!in! marria!es and spreadin! villa!e ne.s, !ivin! loans and collectin! interest to increase her .ealth, and ever searchin! for man!oes and bananas to eat. ])ite )nlike most elderly people, especially .omen, ;h)di (hakr)n contin)ed to hold a considerable amo)nt of money and property in her o.n name. /ndeed, she contin)ed to .ork at increasin! her .ealth, loanin! o)t

money to desperate and impoverished, mostly lo.er1caste, people and char!in! them hi!h interest rates 8ten r)pees a month for each one h)ndred r)pees lent8)ntil the entire s)m .as repaid. She had c)ltivated relations .ith virt)ally everyone in the villa!e, either as a relative ,she .as the da)!hter of one and .ife of another of the villa!e:s lar!est families0, as a lender ,almost every lo.1caste family had borro.ed money from her at one time or another0, or as a nei!hbor and visitor. She also persisted in attemptin! to control her three da)!hters1in1la. .ith an iron .ill and a hot ,garam0 temper. ;h)di (hakr)n en2oyed all of these involvements and sho.ed little desire to have thin!s any other .ay. She kept seekin! o)t and accr)in! relationships and attachments, .ith no tho)!ht of dispersin! them. She boasted abo)t all the villa!e people bein! related to her, as 4her people,6 and abo)t ho. m)ch of the land and .ealth of the villa!e .as hers as .ell: 4(he .hole villa!e is filled .ith my people ,mr8i lo/0. 9nd all these ponds, fo)r ho)ses, and acres of land8it:s all mineS6 <n another occasion she !loated abo)t the h)!e f)neral she .o)ld have: 4(here .ill be tons of people and a h)!e feast.F9fter all, the .hole villa!e is mineS 3ere is both my father:s ho)se and my h)sband:s ho)se. 3)hS (hey are all my people.6 <ther villa!ers .orried, tho)!h, abo)t the dan!ers of s)ch bindin! attachments and involvements, especially at ;h)di (hakr)n:s a!e. People of all nei!hborhoods often spoke .ith disapproval abo)t ;h)di (hakr)n:s e7cessively involved .ays. Sadan Bhattacharyya, a temple priest, told me: 4?;h)di (hakr)n@ eats her man!oes and cotta!e cheese th very e7pensive foods@ by eatin! interest off all the poor people in the villa!e.?"%@ 9t this a!e it .o)ld be better for her not to do that. 3er a!e has happened ,"ayas haye#he0. 9t this time, it .o)ld be better for her not to acG)ire so m)ch sin ,%%0, b)t to accr)e merit ,%un!ya0 instead.6 9nother Brahman man .as similarly critical: *atin! interest in s)ch a .ay is a !reat sin ,mah%%0 for anyone. B)t at her a!e8nearin! and perhaps s)rpassin! one h)ndred8the sin is especially badS /n old a!e, people sho)ld stop .orryin! abo)t money and especially stop makin! money off othersS /nstead, they sho)ld kno. that their sons .ill feed and clothe them and .ill look after the ho)se and b)siness affairs, so they can t)rn to.ard dharma and >od. (hey sho)ld think abo)t ho. >od .ill be takin! me no.. 9lso, in old a!e, people sho)ld desire to feed others if they come )pon some !ood food. +ost old people .ant to !ive food to their kids, !randkids, or servants. B)t instead ?;h)di (hakr)n@ .ill eat in front of everyone else, and even ta/e from them and eatSF9ll this is part of her nat)re as a !reat sinner ,mah%%i0. 9 !ro)p of poor .omen from one of the Ba!di nei!hborhoods also condemned ;h)di (hakr)n:s .ays, especially her practice of loanin! money to desperate people at hi!h interest rates. (hey described ho. she comes ri!ht into their co)rtyards at the end of every month to collect her interest, shakin! her cane at them and ref)sin! to leave )ntil she is paid. 4She eats h)!e piles of !ood food8have yo) seen it5 Cotta!e cheese, man!oes, s.eets. 9nd she does this by eatin! the interest off poor people like )s,6 one .oman !riped. 4Certainly her sin is pilin! )p from all of these actions,6 another e7claimed. 4*specially at her a!eS6 *ven ;h)di (hakr)n:s o.n da)!hters1in1la. and !randchildren pondered the e7cesses of her attachments, partic)larly for food. / came )pon them 2okin! to!ether one afternoon that she .ill certainly t)rn into a cravin! !host .hen she dies and .ill !o aro)nd pesterin! people for man!oes and other treats. -hen they sa. me they added, la)!hin! still, that ;h)di (hakr)n .o)ld certainly be visitin! me in my dreams after her death, pleadin! for !ood food as she so often did at the end of her life. Milla!ers both close to and more distant from ;h)di (hakr)n seemed to a!ree that there .as somethin! dist)rbin! abo)t her absorption in the pleas)res of makin! money and eatin! !ood food. (hey co)ld

point to the tan!ible dan!ers of her bein! .ei!hed do.n by heavy sin or st)ck in the .orld as a pesterin! !host. B)t they also simply felt stron!ly that there is somethin! not G)ite ri!ht or appropriate abo)t a person of ;h)di (hakr)n:s a!e bein! so involved .ith .orldly matters.?"'@ <ther .ealthy villa!ers loaned money at the same rate that ;h)di (hakr)n did ,incl)din! my landlord, .ho criticiAed her for the practice0, and other .ealthy villa!ers ate delicio)s foods, s)ch as man!oes, s.eets, and cotta!e cheese. (heir practices .ere not the tar!et of dispara!in! comments. =et there .as !eneral a!reement ,tho)!h not on the part of ;h)di (hakr)n herself0 that in old a!e8even if the ideal cannot be perfectly achieved8it is best for people to be!in to !ive thin!s a.ay, rather than to take them inN to loosen ties to the .orld, rather than to c)ltivate them: in short, to strive to red)ce the bindin!s of maya. ;h)di (hakr)n demonstrated in her o.n life the ironies and dilemmas of .ealth and family: she .as blessed .ith havin! probably more .ealth and more kin than any other person in the villa!eN and it .as those very blessin!s that, accordin! to many, bo)nd and b)rdened her. H H H

The Va')es o$ Atta(hment and Ren)n(iation

9nother model of personhood, and the potentially conflictin! val)es of attachment and ren)nciation in late life, is fo)nd in the .ell1kno.n 2ramadharma theory of life sta!es described briefly in chapter 2. 9ccordin! to this schema, persons ,specifically )pper1caste males0 move thro)!h fo)r life sta!es: they are first celibate st)dents, then become ho)seholders enmeshed in family and social ties, later move on to live as 4forest d.ellers6 or hermits ,&na%rastha0, and )ltimately become reno)ncers ,sannys30. 9s a reno)ncer, a man strives to become free from all attachments to people, places, thin!s, and even his o.n body, thro)!h takin! leave of family members, abne!atin! caste identity, !ivin! )p all possessions, performin! his o.n f)neral rites, be!!in!, and constantly movin! from place to place so that no ne. attachments .ill develop. /f a person is able to free himself from all bindin! attachments in this .ay, he may be able to attain )ltimate 4release6 ,mo/sha0 from the cycle of rebirths, redeaths, and reattachments to .orldly life, or sam!sr. Scholars of /ndian society and reli!ions have !iven m)ch attention to this model, s)!!estin! that these life sta!es, .ith their accompanyin! val)es, !oals, and practices, provide a key to )nderstandin! 3ind) personhood, reli!ion, and society.?"E@ Specifically, they have seen a f)ndamental opposition in /ndian society and c)lt)re bet.een the val)es of attachment or involvement in .orldly life, on the one hand, and ren)nciation or detachment, on the other. 9ccordin! to these scholars, the classical theory of the 2ramas is one brilliant attempt to reconcile these opposin! val)es by assi!nin! them to chronolo!ically distinct phases of life: .orldly val)es are p)rs)ed as an ad)lt ho)seholder, and ren)nciation is p)rs)ed at the end of life as an ascetic or sannyasi.?"&@ /n this .ay, asserts Lo)is B)mont, the val)e of ren)nciation is !iven a limited and lesser position in a hierarchy of 3ind) val)es. Ien)nciation is dan!ero)sly 4fatal to6 more .orldly val)es, beca)se it is aimed to.ard a 4ne!ation of the .orld6N th)s it is rele!ated to the latest possible life sta!e only, after all .orldly obli!ations have been f)lfilled ,"D&0b ?"D'0@:2E$0. B)t / did not find that s)ch acco)nts of the tension bet.een ho)seholdin! and ren)nciation in 3ind)ism matched the emotional comple7ity and ambi!)o)s G)ality of everyday lived life in +an!aldihi. Cor most people / kne., techniG)es of ren)nciation .ere not practiced in old a!e to oppose or ne!ate life in the .orld. Iather, they seemed to c)ltivate techniG)es of detachment as a means of dealin! with the .orld and the intensity of affections and attachments that e7tended livin! in the .orld entails. Cor if, as .e have seen, connections and affections8the bindin!s of maya8increase in n)mber and intensity over a lon! life, then one:s final years facin! losses, separations, and death can be very painf)l and diffic)lt indeed. Jor did the +an!aldihi villa!ers find val)es s)ch as ren)nciation and attachment arran!ed in a coherent, sin!le line of precedence or chronolo!y, as B)mont and other

scholars8relyin! lar!ely on their st)dies of classical te7ts8have s)!!ested. /nstead, val)es .ere e7perienced and p)rs)ed by +an!aldihi villa!ers as f)ndamentally varied, as coe7istin! and creatin! G)andaries. People did not sin!le1mindedly .ork at loosenin! the ties that make )p their selves as they !re. oldN they also .anted to see another !randchild:s .eddin!, to be cared for in a cro.ded ho)sehold, to travel .ith a lon!1loved spo)se, to eat another s.eet man!o, to increase their family:s .ealth. <ld a!e for Ben!alis contains a dilemma: it is the time of life .hen connections are the most n)mero)s and stron!ly felt, and also the time .hen relationships8.ith all the people, places, and thin!s one has become a part of over a lon! life8are the most transient. 9nn >old:s e7G)isite e7amination of the story of ;in! >opi Chand ,"D&D, "DD20 resonates strikin!ly .ith these Ben!ali villa!ers: sentiments. >opi Chand ,.hose tale has a place in pop)lar folk traditions from P)n2ab to Ben!al0 .as a kin! .ho left his family and palaces to be initiated as a reno)ncer and !ain immortality. Unlike other more standard sa!as of /ndian reno)ncers, tho)!h, >opi Chand:s 2o)rney a.ay from .orldly life is not easy or total. 3e yearns a!ain and a!ain for the 4thin!s of his r)lin! condition6 ,"D&D:EE2OE#0, especially his loved ones, his family. >old reflects: 4>opi Chand:s sorro.f)l partin!s are reminiscent of the ones that come to every h)man bein! .hen confronted by mortality and its inevitable severances. (h)s they are emphatically shared by rapt a)diences .hen the villa!e bard narrates his tale6 ,p. EE#0. Milla!ers .ith .hom >old talked praised the scenes of partin! as the 4best6 parts of the performance ,p. E&$0, beca)se they .ere felt to be the most poi!nant, the closest to their o.n everyday e7periences. (. J. +adan ,"D&E0 similarly finds that in the daily lives of ;ashmiri Brahmans, ren)nciation and ho)seholdin! are not neatly opposed. 3is ;ashmiri informants held )p detachment as a val)e to be p)rs)ed in the midst o$ worldly in&ol&ements, not in order to re2ect the .orld alto!ether b)t to resist bein! overly enmeshed in it. H H H (he processes and concerns / have described, s)rro)ndin! the loosenin! of ties in late life, are similar to some of those proposed by Claire C)mmin! and -illiam 3enry in their .ell1kno.n and controversial 4disen!a!ement theory6 of a!in!. (heir theory post)lates that as a person a!es, a m)t)al .ithdra.al occ)rs on the part of the a!in! person and others in his or her social system. /n this process of disen!a!ement, a.areness of approachin! death plays an important role: 4(he apprehension of death as a not1so1distant !oal may be a time of redefinition of the self as less bo)nd to the s)rro)ndin! net.ork of interaction.6 By the end of a person:s life, C)mmin! and 3enry !o on, 4his bonds have been all b)t severed8disen!a!ement is complete, he is free to die6 ,"D'":22'O2E0.?"D@ (his theory has been .idely critiG)ed by 9merican !erontolo!ists and sociolo!ists over the years since it .as proposed, in part ,and ri!htly so, / believe0 for its overly )niversal, de1c)lt)red claims ,3ochschild "DE%0. Some may have ob2ected beca)se, as C)mmin! and 3enry themselves report ,"D'":"&O220, many 9mericans seem to be )ncomfortable proposin! that any si!nificant chan!es occ)r at all in old a!eN instead, many .ish to define 4s)ccessf)l a!in!6 as a process that entails, ideally, no ne. chan!es or characteristics at all. 9 radical process of 4disen!a!ement6 .o)ld mean movement to.ard a ne. and different sta!e of life, and th)s an )ndesired end to a 4permanent6 ad)lthood. (his 4s)ccessf)l ?perhaps better called non1@ a!in!,6 or8as / refer to it else.here ,Lamb "DD#:20O2E0 84permanent persons6 theory, is reflected nicely in c)rrent book titles in the contemporary United States, s)ch as (he Ageless Sel$ ,;a)fman "D&'0 and De#lining to De#line ,>)llette "DDE0.?20@ /t is also reflected in the proliferation of technolo!ies for disciplinin! and reconstr)ctin! a!in! bodies so that they are no lon!er visibly marked as old. 9!e1calibrated e7ercise ro)tines, hormone replacement therapy, special diets, hair dyes, antia!in! skin creams, and cosmetic s)r!ery .ork not so m)ch to redefine the a!in! body b)t rather, as ;athleen -ood.ard ,"DD":"'"0 also observes, 4to virt)ally eliminate it8to make it indistin!)ishable from a yo)n! or middle1a!ed body.6 Perhaps also playin! a si!nificant role in academic and pop)lar reactions to the disen!a!ement theory

of a!in! is the sense shared by many 9mericans that they are already, even in their yo)n!er years, G)ite ,or at least s)fficiently0 disen!a!ed from others. -hen / have spoken to 9mericans, old and yo)n!, abo)t the ro)tines practiced by many Ben!alis aimed at loosenin! ties in late life, a consistent response has been, 43o. depressin!.6 (he tho)!ht of their ties becomin! even looser in old a!e than they already are makes them feel cold and lonely. *ven in yo)th many in 9merica and *)rope tend to think of themselves, as / disc)ssed in chapter ", as separate 4individ)als6N?2"@ they tend not to think of themselves as s)bstantially8physically8interconnected .ith those .hom they to)ch and .ith .hom they live, eat, and transact. +any 9mericans live alone for si!nificant portions of their lives, especially in old a!e, and val)e sleepin! in separate rooms and certainly separate beds, )nless they are 2oined by a spo)se or lover. B)t in the villa!e of +an!aldihi, people tended to live their .hole lives in ho)seholds cro.ded .ith othersN to sleep every ni!ht in lar!e beds or on overlappin! mats intert.ined .ith siblin!s, parents, children, and nei!hborsN to think of and e7perience themselves as bein! s)bstantially, as .ell as emotionally, %art of others. 9nd they tho)!ht, too, that s)ch s)bstantial1emotional interconnections tend nat)rally to increase over a lon! life rather than decrease. (here it makes sense that the problem of ho. to loosen bonds in late life, and become separate eno)!h to be able to depart in death, co)ld be perceived as pressin!.

Notes
". <n the meanin!s of maya in Jepali, see Bennett "D&#:#D and Parish "DD$:"%'O'$. 2. 9nthropolo!ists mi!ht find s)ch a theory of maya as emotional1c)m1bodily ties )sef)l in addressin! their !ro.in! n)mber of G)estions on emotions and the relationship bet.een emotions and the body ,see, e.!., Bes2arlais "DD2N Lynch "DD0a, "DD0b:"#O"DN L)tA "D&&0. #. (ra.ick ,"DD0a:$E0 .rites similarly of %a#am, affection, .ithin her (amil family: 4 .a#am, the bond of affection, .as cr)elFbeca)se .hen the bond .as broken, as al.ays it had to be, the ne.ly )nbo)nd person s)ffered pain. -hen yo) become habit)ated to somethin!, it becomes part of yo), and, .hen yo) lose it, part of yo)rself is severed.6 $. <n the val)e of ren)nciation in late life, see, e.!., ;ane "D'&OE%:vol. 2N +an) M/ ,"&&':"D&O2"', "DD":""EO2E0N B)mont "D&0b ?"D'0@N and (ilak "D&D:$"O$0. %. /nitially / ass)med that senior relatives necessarily decrease. B)t s)ch an interpretation may not be acc)rate, for maya can be felt G)ite stron!ly for deceased kin ,see chapter %0. '. >old ,"D&&:'#OED0 e7amines s)ch lin!erin! spirits of the dead in Ia2asthanN many are said to be clin!in! to their previo)s habitations. E. <ther people sometimes referred to the body as the tm:s or so)l:s 4ho)se6 ,ghar0, sayin! that the tm has a lot of maya for the body and does not .ant to leave it. /n this conversation, +ita:s +a and her da)!hter seem to be speakin! literally of the deceased person:s ho)se ,ghar0, as somethin! the tm .ishes, b)t does not kno. ho., to reenter. &. >old ,"D&&:2#$0 similarly finds that villa!ers in Ia2asthan most commonly define mo/sha not as absol)te release from all births and deaths b)t rather as 4liberation from the state of hoverin!, malevolent, and disembodied !hosthood,6 or as 4depart)re from the scenes of one:s previo)s life to d.ell in Pheaven: ,s&arg0,6 in the process of movin! on event)ally to take a ne., preferably h)man, birth. D. See also chapter 2N Lamb "DDEaN and S. Mat)k "DD0:E&O&".

"0. (heir disco)rse parallels the physiolo!y of a!in! as described in the classical medical te7ts of 9y)rveda, in .hich yo)n! ad)lthood is characteriAed by a s)rfeit of the h)mor %itta ,hot bile0, .ith an increase of the h)mor &ta ,cool, dry .ind0 as one:s years increase ,P)rohit "D%%:"D"N Iay, >)pta, and Ioy "D&0:"', $$N (ilak "D&D:E"0. "". 9 "ais!n!a" ml is a necklace made of .ooden tuls3 beads that some devotees of ;rishna .ear. "2. / follo. *ck ,"D&":#$$0 and >old ,"D&D:$0 in translatin! t3rtha as 4crossin! place6: places .here branches of rivers, the land and the sea, and !ods and h)mans conver!e or cross over into each other. (3rtha can also be translated as 4pil!rima!e.6 "#. 9 more detailed acco)nt of a 3ind) b)s pil!rima!e can be fo)nd in >old ,"D&&:2'2OD&0. 9ltho)!h she describes a pil!rima!e from Ia2asthan to P)ri, / fo)nd many similar feat)res in the shorter pil!rima!e / took from -est Ben!al to P)ri. "$. / address in chapter # .hy .omen so over.helmin!ly o)tn)mber men in old a!e homes. Cohen ,"DD&:""'O200 also disc)sses the Javanir homes for the a!ed. "%. *arnin! interest from a loan is commonly called 4eatin!6 interest ,2odh /hoyno0. "'. Sylvia Mat)k also notes that in the comm)nity she st)died o)tside of Belhi, old people risk criticism or ridic)le if they display )nd)e concern over the food offered to them, 4beca)se this s)!!ests lin!erin! attachment to another sens)al en2oyment6 ,"DD0:E%0. "E. Cor scholarly analyses of the fo)r life sta!es, see, e.!., Bas "DED:"0"O2, "D&2N B)mont "D&0b ?"D'0@N 3eesterman "D&%:2'O$$, "D&&N and (ilak "D&D. Cor disc)ssions of the vario)s .ays /ndians think abo)t the 2ramadharma theory of life sta!es in relation to the co)rse of their o.n lives, see also 3iebert "D&"N ;akar "DEDN and S. Mat)k "D&0, "DD0, "DD2. "&. See Bas "DED:"0"O2N Boni!er <:Claherty "DE#:E&N B)mont "D&0b ?"D'0@:2E$N 3eesterman "D&&:2%"O%2N and (ilak "D&D. "D. Cor f)ller treatment of the disen!a!ement theory of a!in!, see also C)mmin! "D'$N 3avi!h)rst, Je)!arten, and (obin "D'&N and +addo7 "D'$. S. Mat)k ,"D&00 and (ilak ,"D&D:#, "'00 provide interestin! disc)ssions of this 49merican6 hypothesis in the conte7t of /ndian c)lt)ral traditions. 20. ;a)fman proposes that it is 4old6 people themselves in 9merica .ho ref)se to define themselves as old ,hence her title, (he Ageless Sel$0, ar!)in! that 4Contrary to pop)lar conceptions of old a!e, .hich tend to define it as a distinct period of life, old people themselves emphasiAe the contin)ity of the a!eless self amid chan!es across the life span6 ,"D&':"#0. >)llette ,"DDE0, too, re2ects the 9merican master narrative of de#line in middle a!e, b)t not in order to hold )p .hat / see as the alternative dominant 9merican narrative of ad)lthood8permanence, a!elessness. /nstead, >)llette is advocatin! a set of .ide1open possibilities for envisionin! and practicin! o)r later lives, possibilities that #ould b)t need not entail either decline or permanence. 2". <n the 4individ)alism6 of 9mericans, see, e.!., B)mont "D&%N >eertA "D&#:%DN +acCarlane "DE&N and (ocG)eville "D$% ?"&#%@.

A2 5ea'ing with Morta'it&

9n enormo)s amo)nt has been .ritten abo)t 3ind) f)neral rit)als by anthropolo!ists and historians of reli!ion,?"@ and one mi!ht think that there is nothin! ne. to be said. B)t almost all previo)s st)dies of death in /ndia have foc)sed on the f)neral rites themselves and not on ho. people think abo)t and plan for death in their everyday lives, partic)larly as they !ro. old.?2@ Iit)als of death themselves are important and fascinatin!, b)t they certainly do not e7ha)st the h)man enco)nter .ith death. 3o. does

the e7perience of death fit .ith daily life5 .hat abo)t bereavement5 the sentiments of those facin! their o.n deaths5 9nthropolo!ical st)dies of death in !eneral, not 2)st those concerned .ith So)th 9sia, have concentrated on rit)al rather than on everyday life, bereavement, or emotion. (here are !ood reasons for this foc)s: rit)als are )s)ally p)blic and easy to observe, and rit)als pertainin! to death )s)ally aim lar!ely at maintainin! the social str)ct)re as a .hole, repairin! the torn social fabric8a ma2or concern of anthropolo!y, partic)larly in the modernist era.?#@ Ienato Iosaldo has commented, 4*thno!raphies .ritten in accord .ith classic norms consider death )nder the r)bric of rit)al rather than bereavement. Iit)al itself is defined by its formality and ro)tineN )nder s)ch descriptions, it more nearly resembles a recipe, a fi7ed pro!ram, or a book of etiG)ette than an open1ended h)man process.6 3e adds: 4*thno!raphies that in this manner eliminate intense emotions not only distort their descriptions b)t also remove potentially key variables from their e7planations6 ,"D&D:"20. Iosaldo ,"D&D:"2O"#0 !oes on to e7amine a classic anthropolo!ical st)dy, -illiam Bo)!las:s Death in Murelaga ,"D'D0, that s)cceeds in presentin! death in a detached, formaliAed manner. Bo)!las provides a .indo. into BasG)e social str)ct)re by foc)sin! not only on mort)ary rit)als b)t also on an old .oman dyin! after a f)ll life. Bo)!las, and after him Iosaldo ,tho)!h not .itho)t some irony0, seems to take this case8an old person:s death8as a nat)ral e7ample of an 4easy death.6 /s this beca)se they ,.e50 often ass)me that it is 4appropriate6 for old people to die, that they are 4ready6 for it5 9s .e sa. in the previo)s chapter, ho.ever, even in a comm)nity ,like the one / kne. in -est Ben!al0 .here death is somethin! e7pected, planned for, and indeed in many .ays looked for.ard to by older people, it is still not easy or simple to achieve. C)rthermore, as Iosaldo himself notes, re!ardless of ho. 4easy6 or not the death may be for the old person him1 or herself .ho is dyin!, the sentiments of the s)rvivors m)st also be considered. / foc)s on these s)b2ects in the present chapter, e7plorin! first the .ays the Ben!alis / kne. tho)!ht abo)t and e7perienced death8their o.n and others:8in their everyday lives. / .ill then take a ne. look at 3ind) rit)als of death and dyin!, interpretin! them thro)!h the lens of maya. (he many death rit)als / observed in and aro)nd +an!aldihi seemed consistently to foc)s on the problem / be!an to e7plore in chapter $: the ambi!)ities and comple7ities of maya, as f)ndamental to the nat)re of h)man relationships. Iit)als of death enacted a necessary radical separation, a severin! of mayaN yet they .ere also .ays by .hich people remade their connections, mi7in! a!ain .ith the spirits of those .ith .hom they once made their lives. / do not concentrate here on !ender differences, .hich are in many .ays ne)traliAed by death. 3o.ever, / briefly e7plore men:s and .omen:s differin! positions as ancestors, and in chapter E / look at the sharply contrastin! .ays that .omen and men face the death of a spo)se. H H H

:0ow Am I ,oing to 5ieB;

(alkin! abo)t and plannin! for death8fi!)rin! o)t how, emotionally and practically, to die8.as an important part of later life for +an!aldihi villa!ers. People / kne. sho.ed a ran!e of emotions and concerns. +any said that it .as appropriate and desirable for older people to e7press an emotional and spirit)al readiness for death, even to embrace and pray for death ea!erly. People said that s)ch attit)des helped make the leave1takin!s of death easier and smoother and deterred the elderly from prolon!in! life .hen they had reached the fittin! time for passin! a.ay. / first enco)ntered these feelin!s in a conversation .ith Choto +a, a .hite1haired and .hite1saried Brahman .ido. .ho lived ,ne7t to her sister1in1la., +e2o +a0 in a ho)sehold cro.ded .ith

descendants, nei!hbors, and the smoke from several cookin! fires. Choto +a:s ei!hty1year1old eyes sparked .ith a lively .it and tho)!htf)l intelli!ence, and she G)ickly became one of my most val)able informants and dearest friends in the villa!e. L)st a fe. .eeks after / had moved into +an!aldihi, .e .ere sittin! .ith several others on the cool, polished floor of the +adan >opal temple ne7t to her home. She mentioned .istf)lly ho. hard it .o)ld be for them all to c)t their maya for me .hen / left the villa!e after a year and a half. / replied that / .o)ld probably be able to visit every five years or so, b)t Choto +a said resol)tely, 4/ .on:t be here anymore at that time.6 / G)ickly responded, 4<h, yes yo) .illS =o) may live to be one h)ndred,6 in a manner consistent ,/ believed0 .ith 9merican etiG)ette, .hich mandates a protest .hen someone states that he or she is not m)ch lon!er for this .orld. Choto +a and the others s)cked in their breath G)ickly and admonished, 4Bon:t say thatS6 4-hy56 / asked, conf)sed. 4Beca)se,6 Choto +a ans.ered, 4-hat if it happened ?that / .o)ld live that lon!@5 Jo. / can .alk aro)nd, eat, see. /f / !o no., it .ill be !ood. 9t any time no., / .ill 2)st !o86N and, .ith a smile, she st)ck her ton!)e o)t, closed her eyes, and thre. back her head in a !est)re meant to indicate her comin! death. / .as shocked by her !est)re b)t soon fo)nd that e7pressin! an open acceptance of and readiness for death .as considered to be appropriate and desirable in the elderly and .as a part of their everyday conversations. -hen / .o)ld !reet an older person by cas)ally askin! ho. he or she .as, a common response .o)ld be 4/:m ready to !o at any time no.. /:m 2)st .aitin! for >od to take me a.ay.6 / heard very different responses .hen / visited the Little Sisters of the Poor8a Christian, lar!ely 9n!lo1 /ndian home for the a!ed in Calc)tta. (here, residents .o)ld )s)ally ans.er the same G)estion, 4/ 2)st thank >od that /:m still here,6 or 4/ thank >od for each day,6 or 4/ can:t complain. /:m very l)cky still to be alive.6 S)ch contrastin! e7pressions most likely in lar!e part reflect the differin! vie.s of death in the 3ind) and Christian reli!io)s traditions. (here .ere several elements to the .idespread +an!aldihi stance of ready acceptance of death. Cirst, people .anted to be able to die .hile their bodies .ere still in !ood .orkin! condition. (hey .ished to avoid the decrepit)de and prolon!ed s)fferin!8for both themselves and their families, on .hom they .o)ld depend8that livin! to too !reat an a!e often entails.?$@ Choto +a:s sentiments84Jo. / can .alk aro)nd, eat, see. /f / !o no., it .ill be !ood68.ere !enerally shared. (he 4Cl)b:s >randfather,6 Praf)lla 9dhikari, also e7pressed his .ish to die 4.hile still movin!6 ,#alte #alte0, fearin! partic)larly the need to depend on other people for care: 4/t .o)ld be !ood if / co)ld !o no. .hile still movin! and able to care for myself. (hat is my main .orry. Jo. / am healthy and e7periencin! no tro)bles. /t .o)ld be !ood if / .ent no. before / s)ffered or ca)sed anyone tro)ble. People:s o.n sons and da)!hters often don:t even look after them. -ho then .ill look after me56 +e2o +a had a similar ans.er .hen / asked her ho. lon! she .anted to live: 4/ can !o any time no.. / don:t .ant to live anymore. /f yo)r body does not e7ist ,deha n th/le0, then .ho .ants to live5 -hen yo) !et old ,"ur!o0, yo)r hands and feet break, yo)r eyesi!ht .eakens. /:m ready to !o ri!ht no..6 <lder villa!ers also vie.ed readiness for death as a sta!e of their family:s development. /f a person:s children .ere all married and had prod)ced sons, and especially if !randchildren .ere married and reprod)cin! as .ell, people .o)ld say that it .as time to die. (heir ma2or life tasks in the family had been f)lfilled: they had prod)ced children and !randchildren to carry on the family lineN they had !)ided their 2)niors thro)!h the seG)ence of life cycle rites, or sam!s/rsN and by that point most had also performed the f)neral rites for their parents. ;h)di (hakr)n freG)ently predicted her death to me: 4/:ll die in abo)t a month,6 or, 4=o):ll see my death and eat at my f)neral feast before yo) leave.6 -hen / .o)ld ask her if this .o)ld be !ood or bad, she .o)ld smile and ans.er, 4/t .o)ld be fine. 9ll my sons are taken care of no., so / can !o.6 Later, .hen one of her !randson:s .eddin!s .as approachin!, she be!an to e7press the desire to see 2)st that one .eddin!N b)t she al.ays added that she .o)ld be ready to die at any time after that.

/n addition, conceptions abo)t the nat)re of death .ere cr)cial to older people:s emotional and spirit)al readiness to die. Cor 3ind)s, death is not an end to life b)t rather a chan!e in form. +ost 3ind)s believe that in death ,mr!tyu0 the spirit or so)l ,tm0 leaves a body that has no. !ro.n )seless and is ready to be discarded. 9 person is made )p, more kno.led!eable and .ell1read folk say, of a !ross material body ,sthHla 2ar3r0 and a s)btle body ,sH/s!ma 2ar3r0 that ho)ses the so)l ,tm0. (he material body is commonly ima!ed as bein! constit)ted of 4five elements6 ,%7P#"hHt08ether, air, fire, .ater, and earth8.hich are dispersed and recycled after death. (he body particles that a deceased person has shared .ith kin, land, ho)ses, possessions, and so on live on in the bodies of the people and thin!s left behind. (he so)l ,tm0 itself is chan!eless in life and in deathN it simply takes on ne. forms. 9fter death, the tm first becomes a departed spirit ,%ret0 and then an ancestor ,%itr!0. /t also ,)nless it attains )ltimate 4release6 from the cycle of births and deaths0 is reborn .ithin a ne. body, either here on earth or in 4heaven6 ,s&arga0. Both body and so)l therefore e7tend into past and f)t)re persons and thin!s. 9 person is never .holly ne. .hen born, and never .holly !one .hen dead ,see also Parry "D&D:%0%0. -hen people spoke of their o.n deaths as .ell as of death in !eneral, they took s)ch e7tensions for !ranted. +y landlord B)lal +)kher2ee )sed the common metaphor of old clothes .hen e7plainin! the discardability of the body in death: 4L)st like .hen yo)r clothes !et old, and yo) thro. them o)t and p)t on ne. clothes, so the body ,deha0 is also discarded at death and the so)l ,tm0 accepts a ne. body.6 >)r)saday +)kher2ee defined death to me this .ay: 4Beath is a transformation of the body ,deha0, an abandonin! of the body. (he family ,sam!sr0 is transformed. B)t the so)l ,tm0 does not chan!e.6 People often spoke also abo)t the kinds of lives and bodies they .o)ld ass)me after dyin!. <ne elderly and ener!etic Ba!di .oman, Billo:s +a, responded .hen / asked her .hat .ill happen after she dies: 4-hat >od ca)ses ?me@ to do / .ill do.F9nother birth .ill happen. Boes life have a death5 Life has no death ,'3"aner maran! nei0. Jot ever. Some people say, P-hen yo) die, yo):ll be a co. or a b)!.: /:ll be something, at least. (here is never a death to life.6 Bho!i Ba!di ans.ered the G)estion similarly: 43o. can / kno.5 +aybe /:ll be a do!, or maybe a cat, or maybe a person ,mnus!0. <nly >od kno.s. -hat >od does .ill happen.6 <lder people also anticipated .ith pleas)re the .ay their sons .o)ld contin)e to n)rt)re them as ancestors. (hese .ere visions held by older men more often than by .omen, beca)se men held more important positions in the family line as ancestors ,see belo.0. <ne man spoke .ith a sense of pride and ease: 4-hen / die, / .ill still be here .ith my sons. / .ill abandon my body, b)t my sons .ill feed me .ater and rice balls ,%in!d!as0.6

re*aring to 5ie6 ra&ing+ Ta'>ing o$ F)nera's+ and 5ea'ing with Fears

Since, accordin! to +an!aldihi villa!ers, there .as no sense in clin!in! to an old body and completed life span, they sa. c)ltivatin! an emotional and spirit)al readiness for death as key to loosenin! the attachments that other.ise .o)ld keep people bo)nd to their c)rrent bodies and lives. Milla!ers believed that if they .ere ready and .illin! to die, then they co)ld die .hen the proper time arrivesN b)t if they retained a desire to keep on livin! and .ere still attached to the thin!s of their lives, then they .o)ld not die. Choto +a told me that she anticipated her deceased h)sband callin! her at her time of death, b)t she .o)ld only !o .ith him if she .ere ready to relinG)ish her attachments to life: -hen / die,F?my h)sband@ .ill come here and call me. 3e:ll call me by sayin!, 4Come, comeS6 9t that time if / am able to see him, then he:ll take me. /f / am lyin! here easily .hen he comes and says, 43ey, after all this time, comeS6 then / .ill die. B)t if / say, 4Jo, my time still hasn:t comeN / .on:t !o yet. / still .ant to Peat: ?i.e., e7perience@ my son:s service ,mi e/hano mr #heler se& /hi0,6 then he .on:t take me. 9nd if / say, 4=es, let:s !o. (ake me a.ay .ith yo). / don:t have any more desire ,i##h0 left to live,6 then ?/

.ill die@. <ne common techniG)e to develop s)ch a readiness for death .as prayin! to >od and chantin! the names of deities. +e2o +a told me that she spent ho)rs every day chantin! >od:s name, especially as she fell asleep at ni!ht: 4/ keep prayin! to >od to take me no.. / say >od:s name so that my death .ill happen no..6 <ne evenin!, as .e stood at the Syamcand temple .atchin! rati, the circlin! of li!hts before the deities, Syam (hak)r told me: 4/ think of >od no., so that my sins .ill be .iped a.ay, .ashed a.ay, and / .ill be clean ,%aris!/r0 .hen / die. / don:t .ant to live any more.6 9s families and nei!hbors !athered to!ether in co)rtyards over late afternoon tea, conversations not infreG)ently t)rned to.ard the f)neral plans of those .ho .ere becomin! advanced in a!e. / spent several afternoons .ith elderly .omen in +an!aldihi listenin! to them talk abo)t the kinds of f)neral rit)als and feasts that .o)ld be held for them. <n one occasion Choto +a and +e2o +a disc)ssed at len!th .here they .o)ld like to be cremated and .hy. +e2o +a spoke of bein! taken to Bakresbar, a pil!rima!e site for Siva .here many of +an!aldihi:s .ealthier people .ere cremated, to be .ith all her relatives .ho .ere taken thereN she looked for.ard to travelin! there on the tr)ck .ith all of her s)rvivin! descendants, .ho .o)ld be sin!in! /3rtan ,hymns abo)t ;rishna0 as they .ent. B)t her sister1in1la., Choto +a, preferred to be cremated ri!ht in the villa!e of +an!aldihi, beca)se then she .o)ld be carried on the sho)lders of local Brahmans and b)rned by the yo)n! Brahman men of the villa!e. 4/ .ill be able to look do.n and see everyone,6 she said .ith anticipatory pleas)re. (hen +e2o +a spoke .ith deli!ht of all the food her children .o)ld feed her as a departed spirit or !host ,disc)ssed in more detail belo.0: 4-hen they feed me man!o, s.eets, and banana, / .ill !obble it all )p ,ga"8ga" /are /h"o 60. ?She la)!hed.@ /:ll take it all a.ay on a plate as a !host. /:ll eat .hatever they !ive me. ?She la)!hed a!ain.@ (hen on the tenth day, the day of shavin!, they .ill cook %in!d!as ,rice balls0. 4-hat are the %in!d!as for56 / asked. 4/ don:t kno.,6 she ans.ered .itho)t concern, 4b)t they have to be !iven ?to the dead person@. /:ll also eat %in!d!asS *veryone .ho dies has to eat them.6 Like.ise, ;h)di (hakr)n envisioned the rit)als follo.in! her death in detail: 4+y death .ill be a bi! dealS6 she said .ith pride, beca)se she .as so senior and .ealthy, and had so many relatives. 4(here .ill be over forty people !oin! on the tr)ck ?to the cremation !ro)nd@, a h)!e feast, and lots of /3rtan ?sin!in! for ;rishna@S =o):ll !et to see it all before yo) leave.6 ?%@ 9t other times / heard older people e7press fear and rel)ctance to die, even tho)!h s)ch statements seemed to be less p)blicly acceptable than professions of readiness for death. Some, tho)!h G)ite 4increased6 ,"r!iddha0 in years or in poor health, had children or !randchildren .ho remained )nmarried or childless. 9nil +)kher2ee, ;h)di (hakr)n:s yo)n!est and only s)rvivin! brother1in1la., .as one of the more senior men in the villa!e, .ith a .eak and ailin! body, a voice raspy .ith a!e, and eyes that co)ld barely seeN b)t )ncharacteristically for someone in his condition, he freG)ently e7pressed his desire to keep on livin! so that he co)ld see all of his sons married. 3e la)!hed a little sheepishly .hen / asked if he still .ished to live, respondin!: 4/ do still have a little bit of a .ish to live ,"7P#te e/tu/u #i0. (hese sons8they:ve all !ro.n )p. /f their marria!es happen / .ill e7perience peace ,2nti0. /f / co)ld see that, / .o)ld receive peace and !o. B)t .hat hand do / have in this56 he added sadly. 4/f it:s in my fate, then it .ill happen. /f notF,6 his voice trailed off. <thers e7pressed fears abo)t the process of dyin! itself. -ill it be very painf)l at the moment the so)l leaves the body5 -ill / die all alone or s)rro)nded by people5 -ill / be able to face and accept death, or .ill / r)n from it, like someone fleein! from a poisono)s snake5 / taped a len!thy disc)ssion of these G)estions by +e2o +a, Choto +a, and some of their family members, in the co)rtyard of Choto +a:s home, .here family and nei!hbors often !athered in late mornin!s and afternoons to socialiAe and have tea. / incl)ded part of this conversation in chapter $ and present more of it here, as it to)ches on these

.omen:s comple7 and ambi!)o)s feelin!s abo)t death8their ea!erness to die, on the one hand, and yet their fears of death and lin!erin! attachments to life, on the other. SL6 3o. are yo) likin! life5 Me@o Ma6 /f / died it .o)ld be !ood. / have no .ish to contin)e livin!. Jo. /:m thinkin!8/:ll !o, /:ll !o. ?Pa)se.@ B)t there:s maya.F Choto Ma6 She !ets scared .hen she:s alone at ni!ht. She lies a.ake )ntil t.elve o:clock thinkin!, 4/:m !oin! to die. /:m !oin! to die. /f / die it .ill be !ood.6 B)t then .hen she thinks of =amara2 ?the !od of death@ comin!, she thinks, 43o. .ill / !o5 / .on:t be able to !o. / .ant to see my children, talk to them, and then !o.6 Me@o Ma6 =es, / m)st see one of my !randchildren:s .eddin!s before / !o. Choto Ma6 (hat:s mayaS She:s sho.in! her mayaS She .on:t be able to !o )ntil the maya is c)t. )'a>6 ?a nei!hborhood yo)n! man, a friend of Choto +a:s !randson@: <h, +e2o +a, tell )s .hen yo):re !oin! to die. 9re yo) afraid of dyin!5 Me@o Ma6 Jo, /:m not afraid of dyin!. / tell >od to let me receive a little .ater at the time of death. / don:t ask for anythin! else. )'a>6 Bo yo) still .ish to live5 Choto Ma6 =es, she .ants to live very m)chS

Me@o Ma6 Jo / don:tS / 2)st .ant to see one !randchild:s .eddin! and then !o. 9ny !randchild .ill do. (hat:s all.

9t this point, the nei!hbors and kin present sho)ted at +e2o +a that there .ere plenty of !ood !rooms aro)nd8she sho)ld simply choose one for her eldest !randda)!hter. +e2o +a protested that she and her family had not been able to find anyone s)itable. (he conversation .ent on: )'a>6 -hat do yo) .ant to happen before yo) die5 Me@o Ma6 /f / co)ld die .hile speakin! that .o)ld be !ood. / become afraid .hen / lie alone at ni!ht. /f my life !oes o)t at that time then / .on:t even receive a drop of .ater at the time of death. SL6 /s it !ood to receive .ater at the time of death5 Me@o Ma6 =es. -hen life is leavin! there is e7treme pain. /f yo) take a thorn o)t ?of the body@ ho. m)ch pain is thereS So also .hen life is !oin! o)t ?of the body@ there is pain and s)fferin!. ?'@ /f yo) receive .ater the s)fferin! is eased a bit. )'a>6 Bo yo) say >od:s name5 Me@o Ma6 =es. SL6 -hy5 Me@o Ma6 So that / can !o .ell. So that my death happens .ell.

<n another occasion Choto +a spoke at len!th abo)t her o.n tho)!hts, e7pectations, and fears s)rro)ndin! her approachin! death. Like +e2o +a, she .ishes for death at the same time that she resists it. SL6 Bo yo) still have the .ish to live5 Choto Ma6 Jo, / don:t still have any .ish to live. B)t .hat .ill / do5 / am bein! compelled to live. -hen >od takes me, then / .ill !o. /f / say no., 4Let death happen, let death happen,6 then .ill it happen5 Jo, it .on:t happen.F SL6 Bo yo) still have any .ishes ,i##h0 left in life5 Choto Ma6 (here are no more .ishes left. B)t / do have in my heart that / .ill see Bip):s and Iakhi:s ?her !randchildren:s@ .eddin!s. -hen .ill they happen5

She pa)sed a bit, .orried, b)t .ent on .ith ne. enth)siasm: B)t if / don:t see them, that:s also !ood. (o !o .o)ld be even better. /f / !o a.ay myself that:s even better. So / don:t have so many .ishes. /t:s not that / ha&e to see these .eddin!s. /t:s in >od:s hands. / say sometimes, 4Lord ,(!h/ur0, take me a.ay at this time.6 / feel that .ay. B)t .hat can / do5 / am compelled to live. / don:t have any more .ishes. ?/ .orry abo)t@ becomin! dependent ,%ardh3n0. -hat .ill happen5 -hat .on:t happen5 -ill / be able to .ork or not5 Baba, .hat condition .ill / die in5 -ho .ill contin)e to take care of me5 Lord, please take me ri!ht a.ay, so / .on:t have to s)fferS Bon:t yo) a!ree5 B)t .hat can / do5 / am bein! compelled to live. B)t / don:t have any .ish toS (hen, after another short pa)se, she chan!ed her stance: B)t there is al.ays a fear of death. Let a snake come. /f a snake comes, .ill / be able to say, 4Bite me65 Jo, / .on:t. /f a snake comes, .ill / be able to pick it )p and stand .ith it ri!ht by my head5 Jo, /:ll r)n a.ay. (hat:s .hat life is like. / say, 4Jo, no. / .on:t dieS (here:s a snake, /:m !oin! to r)n a.ayS6 (hat .o)ld happen, .o)ldn:t it5 / asked her, 4-hat .ill happen after yo) die56 and she replied: 3o. .ill / kno. .hat happens after / die5 / .on:t be able to kno. anythin! then. =o) .ill all kno. ho. / died, .hether / s)ffered or not at death, or .hether / died s)ddenly. +aybe if / die slo.ly over fo)r or ei!ht days, then / .ill kno. .hat happens. B)t if / die s)ddenly,

then / .on:t kno. .hat happens to me. 9nd if / !et a fever for several days, then / .ill .orry, 4<h, /:ve been lyin! here for fo)r days, .hat .ill happen56 / .ill .orry, don:t yo) think5 9nd then .hen / die, .ho .ill take me .here to do .hat ?i.e., perform the f)neral rites@8 all that / .on:t be able to )nderstand. Bo yo) think / .ill be able to see if they take me to Bakresbar ?to be cremated@, or 2)st thro. me in the .ater some.here5 / .on:t be able to perceive any of that. 3ere, Choto +a do)bts that she .ill have any a.areness of the events follo.in! her death, b)t moments later she tells .ith anticipation ho. she will be able to e7perience and en2oy the company of her relatives at her f)neral rites. -hen / asked her, 4-hich .o)ld be better8takin! yo) to Bakresbar or thro.in! yo) in some .ater56 she ans.ered: (akin! me to Bakresbar of co)rseS /s it !ood to be simply thro.n into a pond5 9nd if they !ive me ?to the flames@ in the villa!e, that:s also !ood. /:ll be able to !o on Brahmans: sho)lders. (he Brahmans .ill li!ht the fire. (hat:s even better. /f / am taken to Bakresbar, .ho kno.s .ho .ill carry me5 Compared to that, it is better to be carried on the sho)lders of villa!e Brahmans, and b)rned at the hands of villa!e Brahmans. B)t no one !ives ?cremation@ in the villa!e.?E@ FPeople .o)ld say, 4Jo, this is Candi:s mother. 9 Brahman:s mother. -hy .ill they !ive ?her cremation@ in the villa!e5 >o !ive ?her@ at Bakresbar. <r !o !ive ?her@ at the >an!es. 9 mother of t.o sonsS -hen s)ch !reat sons e7ist, does anyone !ive ?their mother@ in the villa!e5 Jo. >ivin! in the villa!e .ill not do.6 *ven if / tell them no., 4>ive me in the villa!e. / .ill be able to see the villa!e people, and !o on the sho)lders of Brahmans, be b)rned at the hands of Brahmans, that .o)ld be best,6 still they .on:t !ive me here. (hey .ill say, 4Jo, father .ent to Bakresbar. Qet!h ,father:s brother0 .ent to Bakresbar, so1and1so .ent there and so1and1so .ent there. -e:ll also !ive yo) at Bakresbar.6 9nd o)r mother:s brother:s ho)se is in Bakresbar. -e have a ho)se of linea!e ,gos!t!h30 members there. 9nd they .on:t !ive ?my cremation@ 2)st in the middle of Bakresbar. (hey:ll do it )nder the banyan tree, by the river. Choto +a desires to leave the entan!lin! en!a!ements and pains of this old life and body, to avoid becomin! a b)rdensome dependent, and to move on8to her lon!1deceased h)sband, >od, the lovin! family e7c)rsion to her cremation pyre, and f)t)re rebirths. 3o.ever, 2)st as it is diffic)lt, perhaps impossible, to f)lly c)t the ties of maya, so it is diffic)lt to f)lly embrace death. /n the end, Choto +a says, .on:t she and others recoil from death, .ith an instinctive fear5 Lin!erin! bonds of maya or affection t)! at the heart, and .ishes to see a !randchild:s .eddin!, to drink .ater from a loved one:s hand, and to remain s)rro)nded by kno.n relatives rather than pass alone into a ne. .orld persist, never to be completely f)lfilled. H H H

Rit)a's o$ 5eath6 Ma>ing and Rema>ing ersons and Fami'ies

])ite a n)mber of deaths took place over the period of my stay in +an!aldihi: nineteen in all. B)rin! the sticky month of Sraban ,L)lyO9)!)st0 of my first year, there .ere five )nrelated deaths in rapid s)ccession, and my notebooks that month treated almost nothin! else. (hese deaths occ)rred amon! people of different sta!es of life, castes, and classes, differences reflected in the reactions of the s)rvivors and the elaborateness of f)neral rites performed. 9s one .o)ld e7pect, the s)dden loss of a loved one in the prime of his or her life, leavin! behind small children, a yo)thf)l spo)se, or livin! parents, i!nited the most heart1.renchin! !rief amon! the

s)rvivors. <ne yo)n! .oman committed s)icide soon after ret)rnin! to her parents after a so)red marria!eN her mother .as overcome for months .ith inconsolable an!)ish. (o die amid the en!rossin! attachments and )nf)lfilled dreams of an incomplete life span .as re!arded as e7tremely painf)l, both for the deceased and for the s)rvivors. (he s)rvivors find it impossible to let !o s)ddenly of their affections for their dead oneN and the deceased:s spirit, people said, can also have diffic)lty G)ittin! the relationships of its )nf)lfilled life. 3o.ever, the ma2ority of deaths d)rin! my stay .ere of older people in the final sta!es of their lives. (hese deaths evoked !rief and mo)rnin!, b)t often mi7ed .ith the mo)rnin! .as also a sense of f)lfillment and even celebration8that a person had reached a ripe old a!e, left behind the sons of sons, and had moved on s)ccessf)lly to the realm of ancestors, to heaven, and to a ne., perhaps better, rebirth. (he sta!e of life at .hich death occ)rred mandated the specific rit)al performance. Mery yo)n! children, especially those .ho had not yet !one thro)!h the first feedin! of rice ceremony, )s)ally received abbreviated f)neral rites only, for these children had not yet been f)lly incorporated into the social .orldN their deaths accordin!ly did not reG)ire the f)ll comple7ity of rit)als to sever and rearran!e family ties. (heir bodies .ere most often b)ried discreetly in the open land beyond the villa!e, and their deaths inflicted only minimal restrictions of death1separation imp)rity on the family. (hose .ho died )ne7pectedly and tra!ically in the middle of their life ,e.!., s)icides and accident victims0 reG)ired some of the most elaborate f)neral rit)als, as they .ere re!arded as havin! the !reatest potential of becomin! !hosts, beca)se their )nf)lfilled desires and attachments .ere so stron!. Special rit)als to 4c)t6 the ties and cravin!s potentially trappin! the spirit as a !host had to be performed, preferably at a ma2or 4crossin! place6 ,t3rthasthn0 s)ch as >aya, .hich .as said to be able to brin! release ,mu/ti0 to even the most tro)bled and clin!in! of spirits. (hose .ho died in old a!e .ho had mat)re, livin!, and preferably male pro!eny received the f)ll and elaborate series of f)neral rites, b)t their deaths ,tho)!h often mo)rned earnestly on a personal level0 )s)ally posed no !reat .orries for the family as rit)al performers, other than the considerable cost involved. / be!in by describin! the events leadin! )p to and the immediate aftermath of the )ne7pected death of the +iddle Barber -ife, .hose passin! .as one of the first / .itnessed in +an!aldihi. (his description !ives a flavor of the family ambience in the aftermath and mo)rnin! of a death. / then foc)s on the rit)als performed to mana!e the transformations of death. Iather than presentin! here every detail in the comple7 seG)ence of rites8a task too lar!e for the present pro2ect and one accomplished by several before me?&@8/ concentrate on those feat)res of the rit)als that are important to my central themes: those rit)als aimed at c)ttin! maya and separatin! ties, and others intended to reassemble and e7tend persons .ithin contin)in! family str)ct)res.

The 5eath o$ the Midd'e -arber Wi$e6 Mo)rning and A$termath

/n the middle of the afternoon on 2 9)!)st "D&D, the middle .ife of the Barber family died. She .as kno.n by most in the villa!e as Japiter +e2o Bo), the 4Barber ?family@:s +iddle -ife,6 or as Jarayan:s +a, after her only son. She died of heart tro)ble, perhaps a heart attack, d)rin! .hat co)ld be considered her middle a!e. (.o of her fo)r children .ere married, she had seen the births of several !randchildren, she had be!)n to .ear the predominantly .hite saris of older .omen, and her hair .as t)rnin! !rayN b)t she still had t.o )nmarried children, a son and a da)!hter, at home. -ithin min)tes of her death, a yo)n! .oman from her nei!hborhood, Pratima, arrived breathlessly at my door, 4Come G)icklyS (he +iddle Barber -ife 2)st diedS =o) need to take some photosS6 (his .as, incidentally, the .ay / .as informed of most ma2or villa!e events. 9s / r)shed to the Barber family:s home .ith vario)s cameras sl)n! over my sho)lders, the .hole villa!e .as callin! o)t to spread the ne.s, 4(he +iddle Barber -ife 2)st diedS Jarayan:s +a has diedS6

-hen / arrived, the body .as laid o)t on the floor of the ho)se:s front veranda, .hich .as cro.ded .ith e7tended family and nei!hbors .ho .ere hoverin! aro)nd, strokin! the body, .eepin! and .ailin!. She had already been bathed, dressed in a fresh .hite sari .ith a red border, and adorned .ith a .ide strip of red sindHr in the part of her hair and red lt on her feet ,as she had been l)cky eno)!h to die as a married .oman0,?D@ .ith a !arland of flo.ers aro)nd her neck. 3er lon!, !ray1black hair .as spread o)t behind her. (he family p)lled me in and had me take several photos of her in this condition. (hey also b)sied themselves .ith makin! prints of her feet, as is the )s)al practice, by paintin! her feet red .ith lt and pressin! them a!ainst .hite sheets of paper. (he footprints .o)ld be saved as ob2ects for her descendants: %ran!ms. 9s ne.s of her death spread aro)nd the nei!hborhood and villa!e, people of all castes be!an to arrive to pay their last respects and e7press their condolences to the family. (.o nephe.s .ere sent to inform the .oman:s married da)!hters of the death, and .ithin several ho)rs they arrived from their h)sbands: villa!es, .ailin! and thro.in! themselves on the body of their mother. (he !rief of the yo)n!est and still )nmarried da)!hter, +ona, a yo)n! .oman in her early t.enties, .as visibly the most ac)te. She took the lead in performin! the son!s of mo)rnin! for her mother, in the styliAed .ay typical of local .omen !rievin! a death. 3er .ailin! alternated bet.een reco)ntin! her mother:s last scenes and speakin! to her mother directly, e7pressin! both affection for her and feelin!s of h)rt at havin! been left behind. / did not have my tape recorder .ith me at the time, b)t soon after.ard / .rote +ona:s plaintive .ords in my notebookN in part they .ent somethin! like this, s)n! to a repetitive risin! and fallin! melody: <h +a, go,M@RO .hy did yo) !o a.ay5 -hy did my mother die5 -hy did my mother !o a.ay5 *veryone else has a mother, .hy don:t /5 9t s)ch a yo)n! a!e, my mother died. <h +a, yo) .ere actin! stran!e all day, speakin! .ron! .ords ,"hul /ath0 and irritatin! )s. / didn:t )nderstand anythin!. /f / had kno.n yo) .ere !oin! to die, / .o)ld have !otten an!ry at yo) and c)ssed yo) o)t ,gl ditm0, sayin! that / .o)ld eat poison and die if yo) died. <h +a, yo) .anted to eat a chicken, b)t that desire ,sdh0 .asn:t f)lfilled, beca)se there .asn:t eno)!h money. +a, .hy didn:t .e !ive yo) a chicken to eat5 / cleaned )p the ho)se all mornin!. +a didn:t defecate since noon. (hen it came o)t after she died8/ cleaned it )p and that didn:t dis!)st me at all. / chan!ed her clothes that !ot soaked .ith pee. <h +a, .e don:t have anyone b)t yo). / tho)!ht / .o)ld !o !et my older sister to see yo), b)t then yo) died. <h +a, go, .hy did yo) !o a.ay5 <ccasionally, one of +ona:s older sisters .o)ld take over the lo)d mo)rnin! cries, or the .ails .o)ld s)bside briefly to m)ted so)nds of comfortin!, as nei!hborhood .omen .o)ld stroke the children:s arms and say, 4Can a mother live forever5 She .as s)fferin!N it:s better that she .ent no..6 <r, 4Look at her, she:s sleepin!. Look ho. she:s sleepin!, she looks so pretty.6 <r, 4Beath al.ays follo.s birth. Jo one can live forever.6 (here .as also repeated talk of ho. the .oman died, .ith the story of her last moments told over a!ain each time a ne. visitor arrived. (he +iddle Barber -ife had been takin! medicine for heart tro)ble for some time, b)t on the mornin! of her death, everyone noticed that somethin! more serio)s .as .ron!. Later they said that she m)st have s)ffered a stroke. She .as talkin! stran!ely .ith 4false .ords6 ,"hul /ath0 all mornin! and she ref)sed to eat. <ne of her nephe.s made a h)rried trip to to.n to !et some more medicine for her, b)t even that did not help. She became )nconscio)s at one point and her da)!hter be!an to .eep lo)dly beside her. B)t then s)ddenly she re!ained conscio)sness and said, 4Bon:t .orry, stop cryin!, / haven:t died.6 9nd then a fe. moments later she died. Beca)se no one, incl)din! the dyin! .oman herself, had e7pected her to die at that moment, the rit)als that )s)ally assist a person in dyin! .ere not performed for the +iddle Barber -ife. Jei!hbors soon

be!an to .orry that this rit)al lapse .o)ld res)lt in the +iddle Barber -ife becomin! a lin!erin! !host ,"hHt0. 9t one point .hen +ona cried o)t that she had not )nderstood that her mother .o)ld die, a nei!hbor .oman scolded her mildly, 4-ell, yo) sho)ld have. She .as speakin! f)nny all day lon!. She ate so m)ch medicine, b)t still she didn:t !et .ell.6 Plans for the cremation be!an ri!ht a.ay. (here .as some talk of takin! her to the 4crossin! place6 of Bakresbar for her last rites. B)t the e7penses of this 2o)rney are considerable and the Barber family .as poorN the deceased .oman:s h)sband did not seem to think that s)ch e7pendit)res .ere necessary. /t .as decided that the cremation .o)ld be performed in +an!aldihi before da.n. Cor the rest of the evenin! and ni!ht, relatives remained near the body of the .oman, .ailin! and strokin! her. /n the still of the ni!ht, several ho)rs before da.n, the body .as taken o)t of the ho)se and prepared for cremation. H H H

C)tting Ma&a+ The Se*arating o$ Ties

9s .e have seen, a person:s emotional and material attachments for other people, places, and thin!s .ere considered to be e7ceedin!ly stron!, often partic)larly so at the end of a lon! life. Milla!ers feared that at death they .o)ld not be able to 4c)t6 ,/t!0 their maya and leave, lin!erin! on instead in painf)l decrepit)de, or hoverin! aro)nd after death as a h)n!ry, lonely, and disembodied !host. / fo)nd that therefore one of the central aims of the rit)als of death and dyin! .as to effect 2)st this: to c)t maya, or to separate ties, so that both the spirit of the deceased person and the s)rvivors mi!ht be!in to restr)ct)re their relationships and move on to ne. )nions and forms of bein!. 9s people e7plained it in +an!aldihi, death entails a series of separations: the deceased person:s so)l ,tm0 or departed spirit ,%ret0 has to be separated from its previo)s body, ho)se, belon!in!s, and familyN the family s)rvivors have to separate themselves first from the body, and then from the departed spirit ,%ret0 or !host ,"hHt0 of the deceasedN and family members have often to separate from each other, especially if it is the head of an e7tended family .ho has died. (he f)neral rit)als performed over the ten1 to thirty1day transitional period follo.in! a death served lar!ely to accomplish this threefold separation. / hi!hli!ht here three ma2or rit)al phases in this separative process: rites of dyin!N cremation, .hich dissolves the bodyN and death1separation imp)rity, .hich separates the lin!erin! spirit from the family. 9ltho)!h other scholars have analyAed these rit)als, / foc)s on a little1 considered yet f)ndamental dimension: the ri!oro)s process of c)ttin! the ties of maya.

Rites o$ 5&ing6 0e'*ing A'ong the Lea%e4Ta>ings o$ 5eath

Separations sho)ld be!in before a person dies. /n +an!aldihi, the series of rites that .ere performed prior to death .ere concerned lar!ely .ith helpin! life ,'3"an0 or the so)l ,tm0 leave the body and scenes of its passin! e7istence. (hese premortem rites co)ld only be performed if the dyin! person or family members .ere a.are that death .as impendin!, and villa!ers therefore fo)nd it far preferable for a person to have prior kno.led!e of his or her comin! death. /n that case, .hen it .as clear that death .as approachin!, the family .o)ld first p)rify a spot of the !ro)nd in the open co)rtyard by smearin! it .ith co. d)n! and spreadin! sacred !rass ,/u2a0 or tuls3 leaves thereN they .o)ld then move the person to the !ro)nd to die. /nstead of a pillo., a small ball of co. d)n! or tuls3 leaves co)ld be placed )nder the head. (his is done, villa!ers said, beca)se 4it is diffic)lt for life to leave ?the body@6 .hen a person is lyin! on a bed or a pillo.. By movin! the dyin! person to the !ro)nd, they enable death to come more G)ickly and easily. C)rthermore, villa!ers e7plained, the !ro)nd is preferred as a site of death beca)se it is 4p)re6 ,2uddha0, .hereas beds are 4imp)re6 ,a2uddha0.

(hese t.o forms of reasonin!8that the !ro)nd ,or mt!i0 is an easier place to die and that it is %ure ,2uddha08are, / believe, related. +any scholars have noted the earth:s 4p)rity6 as a site of death b)t have been )nable to e7plain e7actly in .hat sense it is p)re and .hy its p)rity makes it a partic)larly desirable place to die.?""@ 9ccordin! to +an!aldihi villa!ers, the p)rity of the earth ,in this and other conte7ts0 derives lar!ely from its capacity to remain )nmarked and )ncorr)pted by the people and thin!s that come into contact .ith it. (he !ro)nd .as said to be a 4p)re6 ,2uddha0 container by villa!ers beca)se instead of transmittin! imp)re properties, it transforms them in positive .ays.?"2@ Cor instance, a person .ho .as in an imp)re state, or one .ho .ished to remain in a p)re state ,for rit)al or other p)rposes0, .o)ld avoid to)chin! any ho)sehold ob2ect .ith .hich other people .ere in sim)ltaneo)s contactN s)ch a person .o)ld strive instead to transact .ith others only thro)!h the ne)tral channel of the !ro)nd. /f a person handed an ob2ect to another by first placin! the ob2ect on the !ro)nd and lettin! the other pick it )p from there, the t.o .o)ld have avoided 4to)chin!6 ,#h4y0. B)t if t.o or more people to)ched the same ho)sehold ob2ect at the same time, or if they stood or sat sim)ltaneo)sly on the same mat or bed, their bodily s)bstance and properties .ere transferred from one to the other: they .ere considered to have to)ched. By mediatin! their contact thro)!h the !ro)nd, people co)ld retain their respective different states of 4p)rity6 ,2uddhat0 and remain relatively )nmi7ed .ith each other. /n contrast, people described beds as bein! permeated .ith the s)bstances of other people, probably beca)se they are the sites of many e7cretions and e7chan!es8s)ch as of saliva thro)!h droolin!, se7)al fl)ids, and .hat .e consider to be 4ordinary6 to)chin! as arms and le!s are stre.n over others sleepin! close to one. (his means that if a person dies in a bed, he or she is dyin! .hile contin)in! to mi7 intimately .ith the s)bstances of other family members, rather than separatin! from them. Beds .ere also inappropriate places to die beca)se they .ere considered to be relatively l)7)rio)s ho)sehold possessions, thereby themselves representin! an attachment. +ovement from a bed to the open !ro)nd before death th)s constit)ted a dramatic movement from a condition of intimate embeddedness at the center of ho)sehold life to a state of peripheral ins)lation. (his .as especially tr)e if the !ro)nd chosen .as open to the air and skyN bein! o)tside of sam!sr, it offered a separative and freein! place in .hich to die. Je7t, after the dyin! person .as placed on the !ro)nd, he or she .as !iven a fe. drops of >an!es .ater and pieces of sacred tuls3 leaf ,a plant embodyin! Lord ;rishna0 to in!est. (hese potent cleansin! s)bstances .ere like.ise said to brin! abo)t a G)ick and easy death. People believed that the moment the so)l, or tm, leaves the body is e7tremely painf)l ,as +e2o +a p)t it, it is like havin! a deeply embedded thorn p)lled from the body0, b)t that !ivin! .ater, especially >an!es .ater, at this moment leads to the so)l:s 4release6 ,mu/ti08at least from the bindin! ties of this life and possibly, some said, from all f)t)re lives in the .orld of sam!sr. (hen a family member .o)ld chant the name of >od ,43ari Jam, 3ari Jam60 or read passa!es from the Bha!avad >ita at the head of the dyin! person, to enco)ra!e him or her to concentrate on >od at the moment of death. (his helps lead to release from bindin! ties as .ell as brin!in! the dyin! person closer to >od and thereby perhaps heaven ,s&arga0 or at least a !ood rebirth. Persons .ere also advised to think of >od themselves d)rin! their dyin! moments. Cinally, especially if the person appeared to be havin! diffic)lty dyin!, a Brahman priest co)ld be called to perform a ceremony called anga%ryas#itta ,body e7piation0, a rite that .as said to make the body p)re ,2uddha0 and to 4c)t the sins6 ,%% /t!no0 that mi!ht be keepin! the so)l bo)nd to its present body and life. +any scholars of /ndian society have described and analyAed these rites of dyin! commonly practiced by 3ind)s all over /ndia. Several have s)!!ested that the 3ind) rites of dyin! .ork as a means of

p)rifyin! the dyin! person and his or her family, by cleansin! the dyin! person of moral imperfections or sins ,%%0 ,+adan "D&E:"#$O#%N Parry "D&2:&20,?"#@ or by dispersin! the ina)spicio)sness created by death ,B. +ines "DD0:"2"N Iahe2a "D&&:"$EO%'0. <thers have stated that the 3ind) rites of dyin! are aimed primarily at release ,mu/ti0 from reincarnation, or at least at a better rebirth ,>old "D&&:&"N +adan "D&E:"2$0. (he .ay +an!aldihi villa!ers told it, ho.ever, the most salient and immediate aim of the rites of dyin! .as to assist the deceased in the very diffic)lt process of loosenin! his or her ties to the thin!s of life. /n so doin!, people also sometimes aimed to receive a better rebirth, to !o to heaven ,s&arga0, or even possibly to attain )ltimate 4release6 ,mu/ti0 from repeated lives in the .orldN b)t everyone realiAed that the necessary and very diffic)lt first step to achieve any of these !oals .as the attainment of immediate release ,also called mu/ti0 from the bindin! ties of maya of this partic)lar life.

Cremation6 5isso')tion o$ the Materia' -od&

9fter s)ch preparatory rites, the ne7t ma2or separative act to be performed .as cremation. (he p)rpose of cremation .as to red)ce and disperse the !ross material body ,or sthHla 2ar3r0 as completely as possible. Iit)al priests e7plained that thro)!h cremation, the body is dispersed into the five cosmic elements ,%SOhHt0 from .hich it came, leavin! behind no traces of the body as it once .as. 9ll that tan!ibly remains after the f)neral fire are bones ,asthi0, and even these are later immersed in the >an!es or some other holy .aters, and th)s made to flo. a.ay. +an!aldihians believed that dispersin! the body in this .ay .as an important part of freein! the %ret8 tm, or spirit1so)l, from the scenes of its previo)s life. Milla!ers said that the tm had a tremendo)s maya or attachment for the body, .hich .as its 4ho)se6 ,ghar or "r!i0 thro)!ho)t life. /f the body is not b)rned, the so)l:s maya for the body may also remain )nbroken. 3ind) villa!ers .ere decidedly )ncomfortable thinkin! abo)t the bodies of 9mericans ,or local +)slims, for that matter0 bein! b)ried intact )nder the !ro)ndN it !ave them the feelin! of bein! stifled and trapped. (he body is also the primary site of the material1emotional attachments a person has for the people and thin!s of his or her life. (he spirit1so)l is attached to the body per se as its ho)seN b)t in addition, particles of the body are the main so)rce of a spirit1so)l:s attachments to other persons and thin!s. 9 person:s body comes to be made )p of the shared s)bstances of many other people:s bodies, of possessions lon! held, of ho)ses lon! lived1in, and land lon! lived1on. (h)s, by dispersin! the elements of the material body the deceased person:s ties to the loved people and thin!s of this passin! life8and not merely to the body itself as 4home68co)ld be loosened. Conversely, cremation .as an important means by .hich s)rvivin! family members loosened their attachments for the deceased. (he material body of the deceased represents tan!ibly and visibly the person as he or she once .as. By participatin! in the fiery destr)ction of this body, the s)rvivors strove to come to terms .ith their loved one:s physical demise. /n +an!aldihi the cremation !ro)nd, or 2ma2n, .as located to the so)theast of the main inhabited area of the villa!e8across the paved road r)nnin! alon! the villa!e:s ed!e, and ne7t to o)tspread rice fields and a lar!e pond. (here .ere separate sites for Brahman and S)dra ,lo.er1caste0 cremations, and the tribal Santal cremation !ro)nd .as in a different place alto!ether. Cremation had to be performed on the day of death, before the follo.in! da.n. Ielatives bathed the corpse a final time, .rapped it in a clean shro)d, !arlanded it .ith flo.ers, and placed it, at the threshold of the ho)se, on a bier made of bamboo. 9ll members of the ho)sehold circ)mamb)lated the body three times in the a)spicio)s clock.ise direction, .ith their ri!ht side to.ard the body, as a final means of honorin! it before the !reat separation.?"$@ (he .omen of the ho)sehold then took leave of the body by standin! at the feet of the corpse and pressin! their palms to!ether in a final respectf)l sal)tation of %ran!m. -omen in

+an!aldihi !enerally did not accompany the men and corpse to the cremation !ro)nd.?"%@ (he bamboo bier .as carried on the sho)lders of fo)r men, )s)ally 2)nior male relatives of the deceased. <ther male relatives and friends 2oined the procession. +ost essential .as the man .ho .o)ld act as chief mo)rner or 4mo)th1fire6 ,mu/hagni0 person, the one to place the fire ,agni0 in the mo)th ,mu/h0 of the corpse. (his .as preferably the eldest son of the deceasedN b)t if no sons .ere available, then another male of the same family line co)ld perform the chief mo)rner:s d)ties. (he chief mo)rner )s)ally carried a small clay pot .ith the fire in it that .o)ld li!ht the f)neral pyre. 9s the !ro)p .alked, they .o)ld sin! /3rtan ,hymns to ;rishna0 and chant the name of >od. -hen the procession crossed the main inhabited area of the villa!e 2)st across the paved road, they placed the frame.ork and body on the !ro)nd ne7t to a lar!e pond, .ith head to.ard the villa!e. (here the chief mo)rner prepared three rice balls, or %in!d!as, to no)rish the deceased person:s spirit, placin! a bit of each rice ball into the corpse:s mo)th and leavin! the remainders on the !ro)nd for any other disembodied and potentially h)n!ry spirits.?"'@ (hen all proceeded directly to the cremation !ro)nd, .here an o7cart had previo)sly deposited a s)pply of f)el: .ood, coal, stra., kerosene, and !hee. (he men set abo)t constr)ctin! the pyre, smearin! the !ro)nd .ith p)rifyin! co. d)n! and placin! on it stra., coal, and .ood crisscrossed in layers. ;erosene and a bit of !hee .ere sprinkled on top. (he central severin! act of the rit)al follo.ed: (he body .as lifted and placed on the f)neral pyre .ith head facin! so)th. (he chief mo)rner circ)mamb)lated the corpse and pyre three times in the co)nterclock.ise direction, .ith his left side to.ard the body, as a means of separatin! himself from it. (hen solemnly, often .ith open .eepin!, he )sed a small .ooden pole to place !hee and fire into the mo)th of the body three times, the act that finally severs him from it and initiates the body:s b)rnin!. 3e and others then lit the pyre in different places .ith !rass torches. 9s the men stood to one side to .atch the b)rnin! in .hich the spirit1so)l ,%ret8tm0 separates from the body, they dramatiAed their o.n separation from the corpse. 9t home, before cremation, family members treated the body .ith reverence, sadness, and lon!in!: they thre. themselves on the body, stroked it, and disc)ssed it as if it .ere still the loc)s of their family member:s spirit and identity. (hey offered tender comments, s)ch as 4Look ho. pretty she looks. She looks like she:s sleepin!.6 B)t as cremation proceeded, the men be!an to treat the body as simply a material con!lomerate of elements that needed to be disassembled. (hey made ob2ective observations: 4/t:s only the body no.N the tm ,so)l0 has !one.6 9t the +iddle Barber -ife:s cremation, their talk G)ickly t)rned to a very detached disc)ssion of ho. bodies b)rn. <ne remarked that .omen b)rn differently than men, and another .orried that the le!s, .ith their red1painted feet, had not yet i!nited, as they .ere still stickin! o)t of the fire. -hen the head ca)!ht on fire, one yo)n! man rolled back his o.n head, bared his teeth, and said li!ht1heartedly, 4Pretty soon the teeth .ill be stickin! o)t, like this.6 -hen the body .as f)lly cremated, the !ro)p of men came for.ard to sprinkle drops of >an!es .ater on the smolderin! pyre. (his .as done to cool the overheatin! of the disembodied spirit ,%ret0 that the fire ca)sed and to feed the thirsty spirit, th)s helpin! it on its .ay. (he men then pressed their palms to!ether in a final respectf)l act of %ran!m before they moved to!ether to a pond to bathe and ret)rn home. (hree days later, the chief mo)rner ret)rned to the cremation site .ith a Barber and Brahman priest to collect the last remnants of the material body8a fe. pieces of bone or asthi8to be placed into a clay )rn and later scattered into the >an!es river or some other holy .aters. (his final dispersin! act .as preferably done .ithin ten days of the cremation, b)t for some it .as considerably lon!er before they .ere able to afford and find time for the 2o)rney. (hose .ho .ere very poor co)ld scatter the bones into the .aters of one of the villa!e ponds, for any body of .ater can be vie.ed as comparable to the >an!es, if necessary. (he flo.in! .aters of the >an!es .ere tho)!ht to be potently freein!: placin! the bones in s)ch .aters .as said to lead to the immediate release ,mu/ti0 of the so)l from the .orld of sam!sr, or at least from the ties of this partic)lar life. /t also brin!s peace ,2nti0 and .ell1bein!

,mangal0 to the so)l. 9s one ;)l) .oman, .ho had deposited her h)sband:s bones in the .aters of the >an!es at >aya, e7plained: 4/f 2)st one bone piece falls into the >an!es, then the so)l ,tm0 receives release ,mu/ti0 and accepts a ne. birth. /f the bones are not !iven ?into the >an!es@, then ?the dead person@ remains a !host ,"hHt hae hae0, .anderin! aro)nd its previo)s ho)se.6 ?"E@ /t is beca)se of the potently freein! po.ers of the holy .aters at 4crossin! places6 ,t3rthasthns0 that many villa!ers also .ished to perform cremations directly at these sites. Cor +an!aldihi villa!ers .ho co)ld afford it, the Saivite pil!rima!e site of Bakresbar .as the preferred place of cremation, and / estimate that almost %0 percent of the villa!e bodies .ere taken to be b)rned there. 9 fe. also made the lon!er 2o)rney to Udanp)r on the >an!es river in -est Ben!al. -ealthier families rented tr)cks to carry the corpse and accompanyin! male relatives and friends to Bakresbar, and poorer families took the fo)r1 to five1ho)r .alk thro)!h the d)sty lanes of villa!es and over the raised .alk.ays of rice fields, carryin! the corpse on their sho)lders and sin!in! /3rtan as they .ent. Bein! cremated at a crossin! place8.here !ods and h)mans meet, desires and attachments are dissipated, and the river of death can be easily forded8loosens bonds even more effectively than does ordinary villa!e cremation. ?"&@ Iabilal I)idas, +an!aldihi:s old blind be!!ar of the +)ci or leather.orker and m)sician caste, one day san! for me .hat he called 49 Son! of Beath6 ,marr gn0 abo)t the poi!nant process of c)ttin! maya for loved kin and possessions at the cremation !ro)nd. 3e told me that members of his caste !ive voice to son!s like this as they stand aro)nd .atchin! the cremation fire b)rn: a song o$ death (hat maya that is certainly abo)t to be c)t, /n that maya of yo)rs yo) lie at the cremation !hat, Jo matter ho. m)ch yo) say, 6(his is mine, this is mine,6 *verythin! of yo)rs is empty no..F -ealth, property, no one, nothin! .ill be yo)r o.n any more. F (hey take yo) on fo)r sho)lders sin!in!, 43ari, 3ari.6 *ven yo)r o.n mother and a)nt .ill be c)t from yo). Jo one .ill be yo)r o.n any more. Love !oes, love !oes, yo) kno.. Bo not love me any more. (hat maya that is certainly abo)t to be c)t. -hen yo) are lyin! on the cremation !ro)nd, .ho .ill be yo)r o.n5

5eath4Se*aration Im*)rit&6 The Containing o$ -odies+ the C)tting o$ Ma&a

(he ties of maya8here those bet.een the livin! and the deceased8are not completely dissolved at the cremation !ro)nd. 9fter cremation, for a transitional period of ten days ,for Brahmans0 to thirty days ,for S)dras0, the disembodied spirit or %ret ,literally, 4departed60 .as said to lin!er on, near its previo)s body and home. <ver this period, villa!ers said, the %ret is perpet)ally h)n!ry and thirsty for .ater, food, and attention, often 2)st as rel)ctant to separate from its former family and s)rro)ndin!s as the family is to separate from it.

/t .as d)rin! this transitional period that s)rvivin! kin .ere thro.n into a condition of death1 separation imp)rity ,called a2au#, literally 4not p)re60.?"D@ (his condition lasts any.here from one day to the f)ll ten1 to thirty1day period of %ret1hood, dependin! on caste, a!e, and closeness to the deceased. L)niors in the deceased:s family line, or "am!2a8a .ife, sons and their .ives, )nmarried da)!hters, !randsons, and )nmarried !randda)!hters8s)ffered the most e7tensive death1separation imp)rity. <ther kin, s)ch as married da)!hters or those in a senior relation to the deceased ,e.!., a parent, a h)sband0, had more abbreviated periods of death1separation imp)rity.?20@ (hose in the condition of death1separation imp)rity ,.hom / .ill call 4s)rvivors6 or 4mo)rners60 practiced a cl)ster of activities to make their bodies8as .ell as the departed spirit or %ret8relatively cool, dry, and self1contained. (o!ether these practices constit)te .hat +c;im +arriott ,"DE'0 .o)ld term a 4minimal transactional strate!y.6 By coolin! and containin! their bodies, and th)s transactin! only minimally .ith others, s)rvivors loosened their ties .ith the deceased and kept their o.n bodies8 .hich .ere partly dead8temporarily separate from other livin! persons. <ne of the principal .ays that bodily1social transformations .ere effected d)rin! death1separation imp)rity .as thro)!h a chan!e in diet. S)rvivors avoided hot ,garam0, nonve!etarian ,mis!0 foods, s)ch as meat, fish, e!!s, onions, !arlic, betel n)t, and a certain kind of 4heatin!6 dal ,musur d!l0, in order to help cool do.n the body to make it more self1contained. 9s / have disc)ssed above, bein! cool ,t!hn!d!0 .as associated .ith detachment, asceticism, stasis, old a!e, .ido.hood, death, and the color .hite. 3ot ,garam0 states, conversely, .ere associated .ith attachment, passion ,/m0, se7)ality and fertility, marria!e, an!er, cookin!, the mi7in! to!ether of s)bstances, and redness. 9ltho)!h death itself ,mr!tyu0 .as often spoken of as a cool state, the %ret and family d)rin! the transitional period seemed to be overly hot in certain .ays. (he %ret, alon! .ith the s)rvivors, had to be fed only coolin!, ve!etarian foods, s)ch as milk, fr)it, and .ater. C)rthermore, the %ret .as said to take shelter over this period in a special plant called a "en g#h ,verbena0, .hich .as partic)larly kno.n for bein! able to .ithstand heat. 9 %ret that became a tro)blesome !host ,"hHt0 ca)sed harm to the ho)sehold primarily in 4heatin!6 .ays8by pesterin! ,'lno, literally 4ca)sin! to b)rn60, blo.in! hot .inds into the home, i!nitin! heatin! ar!)ments and b)rnin! fevers, and in e7treme cases even ca)sin! the ho)se to b)rn do.n. (he overheated nat)re of the spirit and s)rvivors over this transitional period may have been ca)sed by the heat of the cremation fire. /t may also have been connected to the intensity of attachments and desires ,both often considered to be 4hot60 that persist after death. *ven tho)!h death itself .as often spoken of as a cold state, d)rin! the transitional period of %ret1hood old attachments and desires remained stron! and heatin!. By eatin! coolin!, ve!etarian diets the s)rvivors and the %ret co)ld both be!in to cool their nat)res, an important step in the process of atten)atin! their lin!erin! attachments. /n addition to abstainin! from hot foods, the s)rvivors also strove to dry o)t their bodies ,2ar3r u/iye r/hte0 by avoidin! .arm, salted, and .et foods s)ch as ordinary boiled rice ,"ht made from siddha #l: rice !rains prepared by boilin!0 and by limitin! intake of the drier s)n1dried rice ,ta% #l0 to only one meal a day ,and even s)n1dried rice co)ld not be eaten on the first three days follo.in! death0.?2"@ Cor boiled rice, death1imp)re persons s)bstit)ted dry p)ffed or parched rice ,/hai or mur!i0 in the evenin!s. (his .as eaten cold and separately from moist foods, s)ch as ve!etables or milk, so that it co)ld retain its dry ,2u/na0 state. 9ccordin! to Ben!alis, boiled rice ,"ht0 is the most )nitin! of all foods. +ore than any other, it entails the sharin! of s)bstance amon! those .ho cook or serve it and those .ho m)t)ally partake of it. Boiled rice, even if it has not been eaten yet, .as considered to be e7to: that is, food that is permeated .ith the s)bstance of those .ho have cooked, handled, or eaten it. Cor this reason, boiled rice had the most restrictions on .here, .hen, and .ith .hom it co)ld or co)ld not be eaten. +any )pper1caste villa!ers, even if they .o)ld take tea or fried foods in other people:s homes, .o)ld never eat boiled rice in an

)nrelated person:s ho)se or a resta)rant, especially if the cook or server .as of a lo.er caste. Boiled rice .as th)s the primary food ,alon! .ith nonve!etarian, mis!, food0 that .as avoided by those aimin! to cool or contain their bodies: those .ith fevers, those fastin! for spirit)al or rit)al p)rposes, those .ho .ere .ido.s ,see chapter E0, those s)fferin! birth1separation imp)rity, and those s)fferin! death1separation imp)rity. By avoidin! boiled rice and s)bstit)tin! other drier foods, villa!ers .ere said 4to keep the body dry6 ,2ar3r 2u/iye r/hte0 and therefore, as / see it, relatively distanced from others. (o be moist is to have a fl)id and open body, capable of transactin! .ith othersN to be dry is to be relatively self1contained. (he %ret, too, co)ld not be fed boiled rice over this period. <ther foods and spices that had to be avoided incl)ded ordinary salt ,.hich is, some said, an mis! and hot food and therefore )nacceptable0N?22@ oil ,a moist)riAin! s)bstance that co)ld neither be )sed in cookin! nor applied to the body0N !reen ve!etables that are moist)riAin!, slimy, ll8't3ya ,saliva1like0, like okraN and t)rmeric ,a partic)larly a)spicio)s s)bstance0. Some of these forbidden foods, s)ch as oil and saliva1like !reens, co)ld be prescribed for old people .hose bodies had become too dryN b)t they .ere to be avoided by death1imp)re people .ho had to c)ltivate a dry and cool bodily state. /n addition to chan!in! their diets, the s)rvivin! kin had to avoid fire by refrainin! from )sin! their cookin! hearths on the day of the death. (hey had also to discard on the o)tskirts of the villa!e any previo)sly cooked food or )sed clay cookin! pots. Clay pots .ere re!arded as hi!hly permeable, absorbin! the s)bstances both of the people .ho cooked .ith or ate from them and of the food, partic)larly cooked rice, that .as cooked .ithin them. *ven if .ashed, these pots .ere considered e7to, that is, permeated .ith saliva or cooked rice, t.o of the most connective ho)sehold s)bstances. (he modern al)min)m and stainless steel pots and dishes no. common in most villa!e ho)seholds, ho.ever, .ere re!arded as relatively impermeable, and co)ld be cleansed and re)sed. By discardin! the )sed clay pots, the family cleared a.ay old connections .ith the dead person. (hey also made a break .ith the s)bstances of the .hole previo)s ho)sehold8no. devoid of a member8thereby makin! it possible to form ne. ho)sehold relationships after the period of mo)rnin!. Persons 4imp)re6 from a death had also to refrain from other activities considered to be )nitin!, heatin!, a)spicio)s, or partic)larly l)7)rio)s, s)ch as havin! se7, sharin! food .ith others, combin! or oilin! the hair, )sin! soap, shavin!, applyin! red sindHr or lt to their bodies, .earin! shoes, )sin! an )mbrella, or .earin! ne. clothin!. (he chief mo)rner, the man .ho placed the fire in the corpse:s mo)th ,and th)s the most dan!ero)sly 4hot6 of the s)rvivors0, .as reG)ired in addition to .ear only plain, p)re .hite cotton clothin! ,called /hdi or mr/in0, sleep on the !ro)nd ,on a stra. mat or .ool blanket0, and carry aro)nd his o.n .ool seat ,san0 to sit on. <rdinary cotton clothin!, seats, and beddin! .ere considered )nfit beca)se they .ere not )niG)ely p)re ,%a"itra0 and .ere easily contaminated or permeated by the s)bstances of those .ho handled them. /f of a S)dra caste, the chief mo)rner had also to .ear a protective iron key aro)nd his neck to keep !hosts a.ay. 3eat opens the body to a !host:s invasion. (he density of iron ,loh0, one Brahman man e7plained, can co)nteract the attraction ,/ars!an!0 that the !host has for the chief mo)rner. /t is perhaps beca)se Brahmans .ere tho)!ht to be in !eneral cooler ,and th)s more resistant to heatin! penetrations50 than non1Brahmans that they did not need to .ear an iron key to keep !hosts a.ay. -hen / asked villa!ers .hy it is necessary for family members of a dead person to perform this ri!oro)s set of a2au# practices, / received vario)s responses. (he most common .as simply that the observances of death1separation imp)rity m)st be practiced8it is dharma ,part of )pholdin! the social1moral order0 to do so, and dharma .o)ld be r)ined if they .ere not practiced. Milla!ers also freG)ently s)!!ested that a2au# is a .ay of e7pressin! the family:s !rief ,2o/0 at havin! lost a loved member, and in partic)lar a .ay of demonstratin! a kind of 4fello. feelin!6 ,or sam"edan0 .ith the deceased, beca)se the practices of a2au# act)ally brin! the observant s)rvivors to a condition similar to the dead person:s: bereft of normal food, intimate company, ho)sehold l)7)ries, !ood clothin!, and

bodily adornments.?2#@ 9fter observin! several deaths in +an!aldihi, / .as also inclinin! to.ard the belief that death1 separation imp)rity had a lot to do .ith c)ttin! maya, tho)!h no one !ave me this reason directly. / .as th)s s)rprised .hen one day a local Brahman priest, Jimai Bhattchar2, after e7plainin! first that a2au# had to do .ith e7pressin! sympathy for the deceased, told me: 49nd there is another aim of the practices of a2au#8to become free from the bindin!s of maya.6 (his priest .as in fact the only villa!er to state so e7plicitly that by practicin! a2au#, both the s)rvivors and the deceased person:s spirit are able to loosen the bindin!s of maya they have for each other. B)t other villa!ers s)pported s)ch reasonin!N they freG)ently e7plained that if a2au# is not observed properly, the dead person:s spirit may ret)rn to its former ho)sehold as a dist)rbin! !host ,"hHt0N or the spirit may even enter the .omb of a ho)sehold .ife, only to die as a fet)s and thereby incite the ho)sehold people to perform a!ain the practices of a2au# more thoro)!hly and effectively. /ndeed, .hile / .as in +an!aldihi the fet)s of one of the yo)n! .ives in a ;)l) ho)sehold died in the .omb, and the .hole family decided to )nder!o an especially ri!oro)s period of death1separation imp)rity. (hey believed that the fet)s m)st have held the spirit of a recently deceased ancestor for .hom the observances of a2au# had not been satisfactorily performedN and th)s the spirit .as still )nable to depart from its former ho)sehold. (o perform a2au# properly means to c)t maya, to allo. the deceased to leaveN not to perform a2au# means to keep the deceased:s spirit near. (he practices of death imp)rity have been closely scr)tiniAed by n)mero)s scholars of /ndian society. ?2$@ +any, as Lonathan Parry observes, have not fo)nd it easy to specify 4.hy death is s)pposed to ca)se it ?imp)rity@, or ho. the re!ime of mo)rnin! helps to !et rid of it6 ,"DD$:2"E0. Some have interpreted death imp)rity as a means of handlin! involvement .ith the severely poll)tin! dead body ,e.!., B)mont and Pocock "D%DN <renstein "DE0N Pandey "D'D:2%'O%E0. B)t more .idely accepted is the vie. that it is a partic)lar .ay of ackno.led!in! the transitional condition bet.een the severin! of old relationships after a death and the establishin! of ne. ones ,Bas "D&2:"2'N B. +ines "DD0:"2EN Jicholas "D&&:"E$N Parry "D&2:&%0. Meena Bas interprets this time as one of 4liminality6N the practices of death imp)rity serve to 4symboliAe6 the liminal condition of the s)rvivors, .ho are temporarily o)tside of the ordinary social .orld as they deal .ith the departed spirit or %reta ,"D&2:"2'0. Biane +ines ,"DD00 sees death imp)rity as part of a temporary state of rit)al 4incapacity6 ,her translation of the term a2au#a0 of the family body, ca)sed by the loss of one of its vital members. /n +an!aldihi, at least, a primary aim of the practices of death1separation imp)rity .as very practical: to separate and to loosen ties8bet.een the family s)rvivors and the spirit of the deceased, bet.een the family body as it .ill be and the family body as it once .as, and also ,temporarily0 bet.een the family s)rvivors and those comm)nity members )naffected by the death. (hese practices do not merely 4symboliAe,6 4e7press,6 or 4point to6 a state of separative liminality, as Bas claims ,"D&2:"2'O2E0. Iather, they .ork pra!matically to e$$e#t s)ch a separative state8and if they are not properly performed, then the desired separative state .ill not be created. (hese practices have po.er not simply beca)se of .hat they refer to or e7press b)t, more f)ndamentally, beca)se of .hat they perform. H H H

E3tending Contin)ities
/ have been emphasiAin! )p )ntil no. the separations that death entailsN b)t death is only a relative separation. /n 3ind) mytholo!y, cosmic destr)ction ,or %ralaya0 is often a necessary prel)de to creative re!enerationN so in death, as Lonathan Parry ,"D&20 and Biane +ines ,"DD0:"220 aptly observe, the destr)ction of the material body ,and other social ties, / .o)ld add0 is necessary to the re!eneration of life. (he separations of death, ho.ever painf)l and diffic)lt to achieve, are only partialN )ltimately,

ne. )nions are created o)t of the old, loosened ties. B)rin! the latter phase of the period of mo)rnin!, the s)rvivors concentrate on s)ch re!enerative f)neral rites. By rit)ally feedin!, reprod)cin! a ne. body for, transportin! to the ancestor .orld, and rememberin! the spirit of the deceased, they .ork to re1form family relationships and e7tend the family line.

Feeding+ Fostering+ and Re*rod)(ing a -od& $or the 5e*arted S*irit6 Re4(reating Channe's o$ Re'atedness
/t .as primarily thro)!h a series of rit)al feedin!s that channels of relatedness bet.een livin! and deceased kin .ere re1formed in +an!aldihi. L)st as people strove to c)t off social ties lar!ely by ref)sin! to share food .ith others ,and by in!estin! a cool and dry diet0, so in sharin! food .ith and feedin! others they so)!ht to create and s)stain relationships. <ver the ten1 to thirty1day transitional period .hile the spirit of the deceased lin!ered near its former home as a %ret, it had to be no)rished .ith food and .ater 2)st like a livin! person. (he family provided this no)rishment thro)!h a series of 4faithf)l offerin!s,6 or 2rddhas, to the deceased. (he most characteristic offerin! in a 2rddha is a %in!d!a, a ball of food made from rice pasted to!ether .ith other in!redients. .in!d!a is a m)ltivalent term, meanin! at the same time 4rice ball6 and 4body6 ,or 4body particle60. (hro)!h feedin! the spirit %in!d!as and other foods, the family .o)ld accomplish several ends: they no)rished the departed spirit, they prod)ced a ne. body for the spirit, and they re1 created and s)stained a 4shared body6 ,or 4shared rice ball,6 sa%in!d!a0 relationship .ith the spirit as an ancestor. /n addition, thro)!h ab)ndantly feedin! the departed spirit, families co)ld try to make )p for any possible lapses in providin! care .hile the person .as still alive. People .o)ld tell me that many families ,tho)!h no family .o)ld openly admit this of themselves0 .ithhold s)fficient G)antities of food from very elderly and incontinent members, hopin! to avoid cleanin! )p the elder:s e7cessive bo.el movements. So, several villa!ers e7plained, after death families can compensate for .hat they had earlier .ithheld .itho)t reservation, feedin! the departed spirit plentif)l G)antities of all the foods that the person loved best. 9s .e have seen, the first rice balls .ere !iven to the spirit of the deceased even before cremation, 2)st after the f)neral procession carryin! the corpse crosses the threshold of the main inhabited area of the villa!e. 3ere the chief mo)rner, )s)ally the eldest son of the deceased person, prepared three %in!d!as to no)rish the departed spirit for the three days bet.een cremation and the ne7t feedin!. Bits of each %in!d!a8formed from s)n1dried rice, honey, black sesame seeds, tuls3 leaf, !hee, and banana8.ere placed in the corpse:s mo)th. (he ne7t series of food and .ater offerin!s to the departed spirit took place at the ed!e of a pond .here a verbena plant ,"en g#h0 .as placed by the chief mo)rner in the name of the deceased, to be )sed as the departed spirit:s first temporary restin! place or shelter ,2raya0. (his plant .as set in the !ro)nd on the fo)rth day follo.in! cremation, and it .as there that the family offered the departed spirit food and .ater. Brahman families made offerin!s to the %ret at the "en plant every day bet.een the fo)rth and tenth days follo.in! the deathN S)dra families ,.ho observed a lon!er period of death1separation imp)rity0 fed the %ret on the fo)rth, nineteenth, and thirtieth days. <n these days, the mo)rners .o)ld make their .ay to the "en plant 2)st after noon in a bathed and p)rified condition, and there they offered the %ret .ater and some of its favorite ,all ve!etarian0 foods, s)ch as milk, yo!)rt, s.eets, and fr)it. 9s / noted above, the foods !iven to the %ret m)st be 4coolin!6 ones beca)se of the need to atten)ate previo)s tiesN b)t at the same time, the very act of feedin! the %ret s)stains and keeps open channels of relatedness. (he feedin!s .ere performed .ith love, respect, and tender concern for the deceased:s .ell1bein!. (here .as often m)ch disc)ssion abo)t .hat the person liked to eat .hile alive, and attempts .ere made to provide these favorite foods. (he family

s)rvivors had a real sense of act)ally feedin! the dead person, .ho .as terribly h)n!ry and thirsty in this state, and they .ere s)re that he or she .o)ld receive the food and en2oy eatin! it. 9s earlier G)otations from villa!ers sho., old people themselves often looked for.ard to eatin! these treats from the hands of their descendants after they died. <n the tenth day after death for Brahmans and on the thirtieth day for S)dras, the family made the departed spirit an even more important set of food offerin!s, .hich provided the %ret .ith a temporary body. (hey .ere placed at the "en plant by the !hat or pond:s ed!e, as part of a series of other rit)al acts collectively called ght! /', or 4!hat .ork.6 L)st after noon, the family made its .ay to the !hat accompanied by the family priest. (he family members bathed and then offered the %ret .ater and food ,s.eets, milk, fr)it, etc.0 at the "en plant, as they had on earlier days. (hen came the central rit)al offerin! of the day. (he chief mo)rner, .ith the help of the priest, prepared ten %in!d!as by kneadin! to!ether in a clay pot s)n1dried rice, barley, black sesame seeds, milk, !hee, honey, and banana. Brahman families prepared the in!redients by boilin! them over a small oven near the "en plant, .hile S)dra families simply kneaded them to!ether ra.. (he mi7t)re .as then formed into ten balls, .hich the chief mo)rner !ave to the deceased one after another. (hese %in!d!as .ere said both to no)rish the %ret as food and to constit)te a temporary body for it. (he ten rice balls !iven to the %ret are analo!o)s to the time of a pre!nancy8ten l)nar months8and they .ere also said each to constit)te a different part of the %ret:s ne., s)btle body. (hro)!h these rice ball offerin!s, a son G)ite literally prod)ced a ne. body for his parent or elder, 2)st as the parent once !ave the child his o.n body at birth.?2%@ (he chief mo)rner .o)ld then )proot the "en plant and immerse it in the pond, for no. that the %ret had a temporary body, it no lon!er reG)ired the "en plant as a restin! place. 9ll of the close kin bathed and had their nails c)t by a Barber, and the men additionally had their heads and armpits shaved. 3air and nails, e7istin! as they do on the peripheries of the body, .ere often associated by villa!ers .ith interpersonal e7chan!es, and they .ere manip)lated to transform social relationships. (he act of to)chin! someone .ith one:s )nbo)nd hair ,as a mother does a departin! bride1da)!hter0 formed relations of shared bodily 4oneness6N c)ttin! the hair and nails diminished social bonds.?2'@ (hese separative acts8the discardin! of the "en plant, shavin!, nail trimmin!, and bathin!8p)t an end to the most severe period of death1separation imp)rity, the phase .hen the s)rvivors and the %ret are closest. B)t s)ch destr)ctive acts of separation .ere performed only after the family had no)rished and prod)ced a ne. body for the %ret, as a means of helpin! it on its .ay to formin! ne. )nions as an ancestor ,%itr!0 and as the life force ,%rn!0 reborn .ithin a ne. fet)s. (he day of 4!hat .ork6 .as follo.ed in +an!aldihi by a day called the day of 2rddha ,faithf)l offerin!s0 or the day of /' ,.ork0. *arly in the mornin!, the family priest and a Barber arrived to help the ho)sehold .ives set )p the rit)al space and !ather to!ether all the necessary in!redients. (he central 2rddha of the day .as performed in the ho)se:s co)rtyard, as relatives and !)ests be!an to arrive, cas)ally lookin! on as they came and .ent. /n this 2rddha, the family !ave the departed spirit as dn ,!ifts0 all of the food and s)pplies it .o)ld need on its yearlon! 2o)rney to the realm of the ancestors. Je7t to the rit)al space .as laid a symbolic year:s s)pply of food, incl)din! t.elve portions of )ncooked rice, potatoes, lentils, salt, s)!ar, t)rmeric, and chili peppers. <ff to the side .ere arran!ed all the nonfood s)pplies that the %ret .o)ld need on its 2o)rney, incl)din! ,if the family co)ld afford it0 a cot, mattress, bedsheet, pillo., mosG)ito net, shoes, )mbrella, dhoti or sari, cotton to.el, oil lamp, brass plate, bo.l, and c)p. 9 framed photo!raph of the deceased person adorned .ith a !arland of flo.ers .as also !enerally placed on the cot. 9t the c)lminatin! moment of the rit)al, after a series of prayers and smaller offerin!s of .ater, betel n)t, flo.ers, and so on .ere !iven, the chief mo)rner .o)ld rit)ally hand over all of the s)pplies as !ifts to the Brahman priest, .ho accepted them in the name of the deceased person. /n a Brahman

2rddha, a special 4lo.er6 form of Brahman called an agradn3 ,the first, or 4earlier,6 agra, receiver of 4!ifts,6 dn0 had to be present to receive the nonfood s)pplies intended for the deceased, as the )s)al Brahman priest co)ld not accept these items from a Brahman family.?2E@ >ifts of small >ita books, sacred threads ,%ait0, betel n)ts, betel1n)t tree ,su%ri0 leaves, and one1r)pee coins .ere also made to three Brahman men at this point, to ens)re the peace of the %ret8tm and in partic)lar ,several villa!ers told me0 to remove any of the %ret8tm:s sins ,%%0. Like the agradn3 Brahman, these Brahman men seemed to be important receptacles of ne!ative resid)es. (he family th)s .o)ld provide the departed spirit not only .ith food and a ne. body, b)t also .ith all of the other basic necessities of daily life, s)ch as clothin!, dishes, and a bed. (hese thin!s fostered the spirit 2)st as they .o)ld a livin! family memberN the same items had been )sed by the spirit, as a onetime parent or elder, to foster the family. <nce these !ifts .ere received, the %ret .o)ld finally be able to depart on the 2o)rney to the realm of ancestors ,%itr!lo/0.

Co)r brothers practice the separations of a2au# follo.in! their father[s death. 9s the %ret 2o)rneyed a.ay from them, the restrictions of death1separation imp)rity .ere lifted for all b)t the closest s)rvivors, the sons and their .ives. (he family .o)ld dramatiAe the end to its period of separation by offerin! a !rand f)neral feast to .hat .ere sometimes scores of relatives from near and far, nei!hbors, and other villa!ers. (he food for the feast .as as ab)ndant and lavish as the family co)ld afford, and it .as by no means limited to the ve!etarian items that the family and %ret had been s)bsistin! on )ntil then. Lar!e G)antities of fish .ere served, .ith sa)ces prepared .ith plenty of 4hot6 onions and !arlic. (he feast food .as also served over steamin! piles of boiled rice ,"ht0, another food that the bereaved family had bein! avoidin! )ntil this moment. (he chan!e in diet to hotter and more connective foods p)t an end to the separative phase of coolin! and containin!, as the s)rvivors once a!ain be!an to transact .ith others, reb)ildin! their net.ork of ties. (he %ret, like the family and !)ests, .o)ld also !et to eat the feast food. 9 lar!e banana1leaf plate of rice, fish, dal, ve!etables, yo!)rt, and s.eets .as made )p for the %ret and .as left o)t ne7t to .here the 2rddha had been performed, .ith a stick of incense and !lass of .ater. (his .as the first time that the %ret .as able to eat heatin!, moist)riAin!, and connective nonve!etarian food and rice since the death, and people commonly remarked on ho. m)ch the %ret m)st be en2oyin! the delicio)s meal. (he %ret .as also fed by a special meal !iven to t.elve Brahman men, .ho .ere fed at the f)neral feast before any of the other !)ests. *ach had to be !iven a one1r)pee coin, small >ita book, and betel n)t as a form of payment ,da/shin!0 for the service of eatin! the meal in the name of the deceased and perhaps, one Brahman man s)!!ested to me, to compensate for the b)rden of in!estin! the deceased person:s sins ,%%0. +ean.hile, .hile the feast .as takin! place, the chief mo)rner .o)ld perform the final 2rddha of the day, called the %in!d!adn, or the 4!ift of a body of food.6 ?2&@ (his 2rddha .as performed in a co.shed ,goyla0, .hich .as said to be the most p)re ,%a"itra0 place in the ho)sehold, comparable to the banks of the >an!es river. (here the chief mo)rner, a!ain .ith the assistance of the Brahman priest and Barber ,and if a Brahman family, .ith an agradn3 Brahman as .ell0, prepared one or more rice balls to offer to the %ret, 2)st like those offered earlier. (he %in!d!as offered .ere intended e7cl)sively for the deceased person:s benefit, to no)rish it as it made the yearlon! 2o)rney to the ancestors. (his form of 2rddha .as th)s termed an e/oddis!t!a2rddha, a 2rddha 4intended for one.6 9lto!ether, t.elve rice balls .ere s)pposed to be offered to the %ret over the co)rse of its yearlon! 2o)rney, one for every l)nar month. Some families did perform t.elve s)ch 2rddhas over the yearN b)t most families sped )p the process of no)rishin! the %ret, either by providin! all t.elve %in!d!as at once on the f)neral feast day or

by offerin! three or fo)r %in!d!as to!ether over an abbreviated 4year6 of a fe. months. 9fter the %in!d!as .ere offered to the %ret, the chief mo)rner, if a non1Brahman, picked them )p and deposited them in a pond. 9t a Brahman %in!d!adn, the agradn3 Brahman had himself to eat the %in!d!as in the name of the deceased, 2)st as he accepted the bed, )mbrella, shoes, and other s)pplies for the dead person. (his .as a task that the agradn3 Brahman .as G)ite embarrassed and rel)ctant to perform. >)ests at Brahman 2rddhas freG)ently .hispered to me to make s)re / noticed the eatin! of the %in!d!as, b)t the man himself al.ays attempted to t)rn f)rtively a.ay from me and others .hile he did so. Milla!ers e7plained that it .as embarrassin! ,la'' hae0 to eat %in!d!as in the co.shed, b)t the agradn3:s rel)ctance may also have to do .ith the in!estin! of sins or ina)spicio)sness !enerated by the death. <nce the %in!d!as .ere !one, the chief mo)rner, any of the deceased:s other sons, and their .ives .o)ld all bathe. (he chief mo)rner co)ld discard the iron key meant to keep the !host1spirit a.ay from him. Jo. all remainin! kin had p)t an end to their most restrictive period of death1 separation imp)rity. (he cycle of food offerin!s to the departed spirit c)lminated .ith the sa%in!d!i1/arna, or 4makin! of a sa%in!d!a, 6 rit)al performed one year ,or an abbreviated symbolic year0 later on the first anniversary of the death. (his rit)al has received m)ch attention from anthropolo!ists and historians of reli!ion beca)se it so dramatically represents 3ind) notions of death and family ,or sa%in!d!a0 relationships.?2D@ (hro)!h this rit)al, the deceased person is concretely mer!ed .ith the bodies of his ancestors, or %itr!s ,literally, 4fathers60, thereby endin! the yearlon! transitional sta!e as a departed spirit, or %ret. /n +an!aldihi, spirits of deceased .omen, too, .ere mer!ed .ith ancestral 4fathers6 ,%itr!s0, tho)!h ,as disc)ssed in a moment0 they never became f)ll ancestors in their o.n ri!ht. Like the earlier %in!d!a1dn rit)als, this final rite .as performed by the chief mo)rner in a co.shed .ith the assistance of a Brahman priest. (he chief mo)rner prepared %in!d!as as before, b)t this time he made fo)r distinct %in!d!as, one for the dead person ,.ho .as )s)ally the mo)rner:s father or mother0 and one for each of three ascendin! ancestors ,or %itr!s0 in the male line: his father ,or, if the dead person is a .oman, her h)sband:s father0, father:s father, and father:s father:s father. (h)s, if the deceased .as male, the three ancestor %in!d!as .o)ld be for the three ascendin! ancestors in the paternal line ,to!ether .ith their .ives, .hose names .o)ld not be mentioned separately0. /f female, the %in!d!as .o)ld be for the deceased .oman:s hus"and6s paternal ancestors ,and their .ives0.?#0@ (hese %in!d!as .ere sim)ltaneo)sly representations of the deceased elders and food offerin!s to them. (he %in!d!a for the deceased person .as placed on one banana1leaf plate, and the %in!d!as for each of the three ancestors .ere placed to!ether in a ro. on another ad2acent plate. (he chief mo)rner offered each of the %in!d!as a series of respectf)l offerin!s, incl)din! flo.ers, .ater, betel n)ts, and /u2a !rass. (hen came the clima7: the chief mo)rner .o)ld take the rice ball for his deceased parent, divide it into three portions, and mer!e it caref)lly .ith the %in!d!as of each of the three ancestors. 9s Ialph Jicholas ,"D&&:#E'0 .rites, 4(he !est)re is simple and dramatic: both representationally and effectively, the particles of the body of the preta are mer!ed .ith the particles of the ancestral bodies.6 By performin! this rit)al of feedin! rice balls and mer!in! ancestral bodies, the s)rvivin! descendants effectively removed the spirit of the deceased from the environs of its previo)s home, p)ttin! an end to its sin!)lar and threatenin! condition as a %ret. /n the process, bodily connections bet.een the spirit of the dead, his or her forefathers, and livin! descendants .ere re1created and s)stained. 9s an ancestor ,%itr!0, the deceased person:s spirit .o)ld no. be able to contin)e to share %in!d!as8body particles and rice balls8.ith the ancestors .ho had died before and .ith the livin! descendants .ho .o)ld contin)e to prepare and offer the %in!d!as, ideally for !enerations to come. (h)s death constit)ted only a relative separation in the bodies of livin! and dead family members. By contin)in! to feed and share food .ith the departed person8first as %ret and then as %itr!8the livin! maintained their shared body ,sa%in!d!a0 relationship .ith the deceased, albeit in different forms.

/t is important to note that .omen as ancestors had a m)ch more ten)o)s, amorpho)s identity than men. 9s already mentioned, the term for ancestor ,%itr!0 literally means 4father.6 -hen a man made a 2rddha offerin! to his ancestors at a f)neral or other rit)al occasion,?#"@ he .o)ld commonly call o)t the name or kin term of his father, father:s father, and father:s father:s father, as .ell as his mother:s father and mother:s father:s father8three !enerations of male ancestors traced thro)!h both his father:s and mother:s paternal family lines. Iit)al priests emphasiAed, .hen / asked, that .omen do also receive food and .ater d)rin! s)ch rites, for .hen male ancestors are fed, the .omen as .ives and 4half bodies6 of these ancestors are a)tomatically no)rished as .ell.?#2@ 3o.ever, .hen / asked the .omen millin! aro)nd .hether female ancestors .ere no)rished and honored, too, most .ere pert)rbed and )ncertain. B)t even if her lon!1term identity as an ancestor mi!ht be ten)o)s, a .oman:s departed spirit d)rin! the initial days and months follo.in! death .as attentively cared for and processed, receivin! the f)ll elaborate set of rit)als. /f one looks back to table $ ,in chapter 20, it becomes clear that the kinds of !ifts of food, clothin!, a body, and so on that s)rvivors provided to departed spirits and ancestors .ere precisely the same kinds of !ifts that these deceased persons once !ave, as parents, to their descendants. L)st as children co)ld not e7ist .itho)t their parents !ivin! them birth and s)stenance, so parents co)ld not e7ist after death .itho)t bein! fed, n)rt)red, and provided .ith a ne. body by their children. (hro)!h this reciprocal indebtedness and interdependence bet.een !enerations8a relationship that ideally e7tended thro)!ho)t life, into old a!e, and after death8people in +an!aldihi maintained personal and family contin)ities over time on a most profo)nd level.

Remembering6 S*atiotem*ora' E3tensions o$ Fami'& Lines

9nother .ay of re1formin! and e7tendin! connections .ith a deceased person .as by rememberin! him or her, and partic)larly by establishin! in the home d)rable si!ns of the person .ho had died, s)ch as photo!raphs, footprints, and names .ritten in books. /n recent years photos had become especially pop)lar, and villa!ers e7pended m)ch ener!y and f)nds attemptin! to acG)ire pict)res of their elders before they died. (hey escorted older relatives to photo st)dios in nearby to.ns, or convinced any relative or friend kno.n to have a camera ,incl)din! especially the resident 9merican0 to take their elders: photos. People caref)lly framed and placed these on the family altar ne7t to colorf)l ima!es of deities and other photo!raphs of earlier ancestors. 9lmost every ho)sehold had s)ch an altar. (he residents .ent there to li!ht incense, !arland the photos and ima!es .ith flo.ers, and do %ran!m to ancestors and deities. Photos of elders had to have the feet sho.in!, so that yo)n!er relatives co)ld do %ran!m to them and symbolically take the d)st from their feet. /n Lamera Indi#a: (he So#ial Gi$e o$ Indian .hotogra%hs, Christopher Pinney e7plores 4the different kinds of .ork that the Pface: and the Pbody: are reG)ired to do .ithin different photo!raphic traditions6 ,"DDE:"00. Pinney observes of the /ndian practice of retainin! photos of ancestors: 4/n Bhatis)daF, photo!raphy never seems to merely d)plicate the everyday .orld, b)t is, rather, priAed for its capacity to make traces of persons end)re6 ,p. "$D0. Camilies in +an!aldihi like.ise obtained the footprints of deceased elders by paintin! the feet of the dead body .ith red lt and pressin! .hite sheets of paper a!ainst them. (hese prints .ere often framed and displayed on ho)sehold .alls to facilitate %ran!m. Camilies .ho o.ned books and .ritin! materials also recorded the names of their ancestors so that .hen f)t)re !enerations made %in!d!a offerin!s, they .o)ld be able to remember and cite the names of the recipients. S)ch si!ns .ere partic)larly important beca)se of their po.er to e7tend linea!e contin)ity beyond the lives and transient memories of livin! family members. (hey provided one connection bet.een livin! and deceased kin, and e7tended kinship both spatially and temporally into f)t)re !enerations. (he

spatial domains of the ancestor and ho)sehold .orlds .ere linked: for even .hile the deceased .as bein! transported to the realm of ancestors ,%itr!lo/0, his or her vis)al forms .ere retained in the ho)sehold. (he temporal .orlds of livin! and deceased kin .ere also linked and e7tended: 3ere, memory had to do not so m)ch .ith brin!in! the past into the present as .ith e7tendin! the past ,and present0 into the f)t)re. B)rable si!ns of deceased kin .ere established so that f)t)re !enerations co)ld honor, kno., and remember them. 9s / mentioned in chapter #, "am!2a is a m)ltivalent term that means both 4family line6 and 4bamboo.6 9 family line is like a bamboo plant, >)r)saday +)kher2ee e7plained, beca)se if any individ)al part or branch of the bamboo dies off, other branches of bamboo spread o)t from it. B)t .hen a bamboo plant flo.ers, it has come to the end of its reprod)ctive life and .ill no lon!er contin)e to e7tend. S)ch a bamboo plant G)ickly becomes ina)spicio)s, villa!ers said, and is promptly removed from any ho)sehold land, so that its )nprod)ctiveness and impendin! e7tinction .ill not spread to the family line. Similarly, an 4e7tinct6 person is also removed via elaborate separative rit)als, b)t at the same time s)rvivors make stren)o)s efforts to no)rish and s)stain memories of them and th)s contin)e the family line or "am!2a. By !ivin! them ne. bodies as .ell as feedin!, fosterin!, rememberin!, and honorin! them, s)rvivors n)rt)red their deceased loved ones and the "am!2a to .hich all belon!ed. /n so doin!, by e7tendin! themselves as parts of others, both the livin! and the deceased .ere able to transcend the fl)7 and impermanence of everyday life.

Notes
". <n 3ind) f)neral rit)als, see, e.!., Bas "D&2:"20O#", "D&'N >old "D&&:%DO"#2N /nden and Jicholas "DEE:'2O''N ;ane "D'&OE%N ;a)shik "DE'N ;nipe "DEEN +adan "D&E:""&O$"N B. +ines "DD0N Jicholas "D&&N <renstein "DE0N Parry "D&0, "D&2, "D&%, "D&&, "D&D, "DD$N Iahe2a "D&&:"$EO'2N Stevenson "DE" ?"D20@N and Stone "D&&. 2. Several e7ceptions to this !eneraliAation have taken a broader vie. of death: S. Mat)k ,"DD0:&#0 briefly e7amines the attit)des to.ard death of older /ndians in the s)b)rbs of Belhi. L)stice ,"DDE0 e7plores e7periences of dyin!, amon! pil!rims and their families, at the holy city of Maranasi. Cohen ,"DD&0, in his disc)ssions of the 4dyin! space,6 >old ,"D&&0, and +adan ,"D&E0 also consider ho. /ndians think abo)t and plan for their o.n or others: deaths. Bas ,"DD00 presents a movin! analysis of e7periences of bereavement in the aftermath of the riots that follo.ed the "D&$ assassination of /ndira >andhi in Belhi. #. Cor a fe. e7amples of anthropolo!ical st)dies that approach death thro)!h mort)ary rit)als, see Bloch and Parry:s Death and the egeneration o$ Gi$e ,"D&20, an edited vol)me 4foc)s?in!@ on the si!nificance of symbols of fertility and rebirth in f)neral rit)als6 ,p. "0N Bo)!las:s Death in Murelaga:)unerary itual in a S%anish BasKue Tillage ,"D'D0N 3)ntin!ton and +etcalf:s Lele"rations o$ Death:(he Anthro%ology o$ Mortuary itual ,"DED0N +etcalf:s Borneo Qourney into Death:Berawan -s#hatology $rom Its ituals ,"D&20N and Parry:s Death in Banaras ,"DD$0. <n anthropolo!ical st)dies of death p)blished in the "D'0s, see Cabian ,"DE#:"E&0, .ho remarks that most st)dies 4dealt only .ith the p)rely ceremonial aspects of death6 ,cited in I. Iosaldo "D&D:22EO2& n. 2"0. $. S. Mat)k ,"DD0:'E,&#0 describes similar sentiments. %. Bespite ;h)di (hakr)n:s freG)ent predictions of her death, she .as still alive .hen / left +an!aldihi. /n L)ne "DD" / received a letter from her eldest son, >)r)saday, reportin! that his mother had died a G)iet and easy death at the a!e of ninety1ei!ht, 2)st a fe. days after the assassination of Ia2iv >andhi. '. 9ltho)!h / heard this specific analo!y of life as a thorn in the body only once, / think the ima!e .ell

conveys the common sentiment that life, or the so)l, is deeply embedded in the body d)e to maya, and that it cannot depart .itho)t si!nificant pain or diffic)lty. E. (hat is, )pper1caste and .ealthier families in +an!aldihi did not )s)ally perform cremations in the villa!e. (hose .ith s)fficient means preferred to take their deceased to holy crossin! places ,t3rthasthns0 like Bakresbar, a site for Siva .orship near +an!aldihi, or to Udanp)r on the shores of the >an!es river. &. Cor !eneral descriptions of 3ind) f)neral rites, see, e.!., Bas "D&'N >old "D&&:EDODDN ;a)shik "DE'N Parry "D&0, "D&2, "D&%, "D&&, "D&D, "DD$:"%"O22%N Srinivas "D%2N and Stevenson "DE" ?"D20@. D. See chapters ' and E for more on the si!nificance of the a)spicio)s red sindHr and lt .orn by married .omen and forbidden to .ido.s. "0. Go is an )ntranslatable term of affection )sed in addressin! a person close to one, s)ch as a mother or .ife. "". <n the earth as p)re, see >old "D&&:&"N ;ane "D'&OE%:$."&2N ;a)shik "DE':2E0N and Stevenson "DE" ?"D20@:"$2. "2. Perhaps villa!ers see the !ro)nd as transformative beca)se of the earth:s capacity to process and revitaliAe dead, decayin!, and poll)tin! matter, as +arriott s)!!ested in a personal comm)nication to >old ,>old "D&&:&" n. 2#0. "#. Parry ,"D&2, "DD$:"%&0 f)rther compares the dyin! person to a 4sacrifier,6 .ho offers his or her o.n self or person to the !ods. /n this respect, the dyin! m)st make him1 or herself a .orthy sacrificial ob2ect free of imp)rities and .ork to &oluntarily relinG)ish life. "$. Bas ,"D&2:"2"O220 and Parry ,"DD$:"ED0 disc)ss the corpse before cremation as p)re and a)spicio)s, th)s reG)irin! circ)mamb)lation in the a)spicio)s clock.ise direction. 9fter the body has been laid on the cremation pyre, it becomes ina)spicio)s and is circ)mamb)lated in a co)nterclock.ise and separative direction. "%. Jo one seemed to mind, ho.ever, that / .ent alon! to observe several cremations. /n fact, on several occasions the !ro)p of male mo)rners asked me to accompany them. (hey e7plained, 4(here:s no reason .hy .omen #an6t !o to the cremation !ro)ndN it:s 2)st that they don:t !o.6 Parry:s informants !ave the reason that .omen do not accompany corpses to the cremation !ro)nd as their bein! 4too faint hearted6 ,"DD$:"%20. "'. See also ;a)shik ,"DE':2E"0 and Bas ,"D&2:"220, .ho .rite of offerin! %in!d!as on the .ay to the cremation !ro)nd as a means of feedin! and appeasin! !hosts or disembodied spirits. Iahe2a ,"D&&:"$&0 sees leavin! these %in!d!as o)tside the villa!e bo)ndaries as a means of transferrin! the ina)spicio)sness created by death to the space o)tside the villa!e and to the animals .ho may eat them there. "E. >old ,"D&&0 provides an elaborate acco)nt of .ays that Ia2asthani villa!ers !ather and sink bones ,e)phemistically called 4flo.ers,6 or %hHl0 in holy .aters after cremation. "&. L)stice ,"DDE:"E20 and Parry ,"DD$:2", 2'O#0N "D&&0 describe the po.ers of /ndia:s !reatest crossin! place, Maranasi or ;ashi, to brin! release to anyone .ho dies or is cremated there. "D. A2au# is commonly !lossed by /ndolo!ists as 4imp)re.6 B)t this form of imp)rity, inc)rred by related persons at both death and birth, is distinct from the everyday 4imp)rities6 ,s)ch as that inc)rred by to)chin! leftover food, defecatin!, menstr)atin!, etc.0 most commonly referred to as a2uddha ,also 4not p)re60. (o avoid conf)sin! these t.o forms of imp)rity, / have chosen to !loss a2au# as 4death1 separation imp)rity.6 B. +ines ,"DD00 alternatively calls a2au# 4incapacity,6 notin! that it makes the

s)rvivors temporarily incapable of transactin! .ith other persons. 20. <n variations in periods of death imp)rity, see B. +ines "DD0N Jicholas "D&&N <renstein "DE0N and Parry "DD$:2"&O22. 2". Ben!alis have no sin!le term 4.etness6 to refer to the cate!ory into .hich certain foods seem to fall. /nstead, they .ere classified as those to be avoided if a dry ,2u/na0 bodily state .as to be created. /t is these 4nondry6 foods ,the most important of .hich is boiled rice, "ht0 that / refer to here as 4.et.6 22. +c;im +arriott ,personal comm)nication, 9pril "DD20 s)!!ests possible reasons for avoidin! salt: it stim)lates .etness, salivaN it is classified as a bile ,%itta01stim)latin! 4hot6 flavor in 9y)rvedaN and it is essential to a basic diet8and the food that makes )p s)ch a diet is )sed to seal alliances. /n one of his three1dimensional dia!rams, 4Clavors ,rasas0 of the 9y)rvedic year,6 +arriott p)ts salt in the same 4hi!h,6 4hot,6 4central6 corner .here the head of the ho)se sits ,"DD$:facin! p. '0. +an!aldihians said that sea salt or sindhu/ nun may be s)bstit)ted for ordinary salt, for it is considered to be a p)re ,2uddha0 and not an mis! food, perhaps beca)se it does not reG)ire h)man processin!. Parry notes: 4Jo salt sho)ld be added to the food .hich ?the chief mo)rner@ eats for the %ret. (o accept someone:s salt is to accept that one is bo)nd to them6 ,"DD$:2"&0. 2#. Some of Parry:s informants similarly describe the p)rpose of death imp)rity as 4a demonstration of sorro.6 ,"DD$:2"&0. 2$. <n death imp)rity, see, e.!., Bas "D&2:"20O#"N B)mont and Pocock "D%DN ;a)shik "DE'N B. +ines "DD0N Jicholas "D&&N <renstein "DE0N Parry "D&2, "DD$:"&"O&$, 2"%O22N and Srinivas "D%2. 2%. <n makin! a body for the departed via %in!d!as, see also ;nipe "DEE:""$O"%N Jicholas "D&&:#EEO E&N and Parry "D&2:&$O&'. 2'. Bas ,"D&2:"2E0 also analyAes, some.hat differently, the symbolism of hair and nails in rit)als of death. 2E. (he agradn3 Brahman stands in a rather )nenviable relationship to the deceased, as a kind of livin! receptacle of !ifts intended for the dead person. (hat is .hy, my informants e7plained, the agradn3 is tho)!ht to be a 4lo.er6 and rather embarrassin! form of Brahman. (he need for a special agradn3 Brahman may also have somethin! to do .ith his in!estin! of sins ,Parry "D&00 and his receipt of the ina)spicio)sness ,Iahe2a "D&&:"%$O'20 !enerated by a death. 2&. /nden and Jicholas ,"DEE:'#O'$0 also describe the %in!d!adn. 2D. <n the sa%in!d!i1/arna, see, e.!., Bas "D&2:"22N Boni!er <:Claherty "D&0N >old "D&&:D0OD$N /nden and Jicholas "DEE:'$N ;nipe "DEEN Jicholas "D&&:#E%OE'N and Parry "D&2:&$O&%, "DD$:20$O'. #0. /f a son .ere to predecease his father, his %in!d!a .o)ld be mer!ed .ith his paternal !randfather ,if deceased0 and paternal !reat1!randfather only. /n the case of an )nmarried !irl, no sa%in!d!i8/arna rit)al .o)ld be performed. Parry:s informants note that the spirit of an )nmarried !irl, .ho has no descent line, simply 4disappears into the air6 ,"DD$:20%0. #". Iites honorin! ancestors .ere performed not only at f)nerals b)t on a)spicio)s occasions s)ch as .eddin!s, as .ell as d)rin! other life cycle rites. 9 2rddha performed on an a)spicio)s occasion .as called a nnd3mu/h. #2. /n chapter ', / disc)ss f)rther the representation, common thro)!ho)t north /ndia, of a .ife as the 4half body6 ,ardhngin30 of her h)sband.

82 ,endered Trans$ormations
C2 Trans$ormations o$ ,ender and ,endered Trans$ormations
/ sobbed and sobbed after my .eddin!. / co)ldn:t stand to be a.ay from my father. / fled home .henever / co)ld, and / .o)ld stay there for days and days on end, )ntil someone from my father1in1la.:s ho)se .o)ld come to !et me. (hen / .o)ld sob and sob a!ain. B)t slo.ly yo) visit less, yo) cry less. 9nd no., in old a!e, there is hardly any more connection .ith my father:s ho)se. 9fter the blood stopped, my body dried o)t. *ven if / .anted to ?have se7@, / .o)ldn:t be able to. / had fo)r kids, then my blood dried )p, and then my body dried )p. Jo. / have desire ,lo"h0 only for food. (he .omen / kne. in +an!aldihi often spoke of their lives in terms of the profo)nd chan!es that they had e7perienced in their bodies, and in the kinds of social ties makin! )p their personhoods, over the life co)rse. /n this and the follo.in! chapter, / take a more foc)sed look at iss)es / first raised in the book:s introd)ction: ho. does a!in! affect definitions of !ender, and !ender affect e7periences of a!in!5 (hese G)estions speak not only to ho. .e think abo)t !ender relations in So)th 9sia b)t also to ho. the .ays the cate!ory of 4.oman6 has been constr)cted in !ender theory more broadly. / .ill e7plore t.o important and interrelated themes: first, the .ays in .hich .omen:s bodies in +an!aldihi .ere perceived, controlled, and transformed over their livesN and, second, the .ays in .hich .omen e7perienced their chan!in! ties of maya. H H H

,endered -odies and E%er&da& ra(ti(es

>ender .as constr)cted in +an!aldihi as else.here lar!ely thro)!h the )nceasin! .ork of everyday life, thro)!h daily social interactions and se7)al relations, thro)!h the .ays .omen and men dressed and adorned their bodies, and thro)!h people:s movements .ithin and beyond the home. 9s an anthropolo!ist in +an!aldihi, / first enco)ntered and e7perienced local constr)ctions of !ender at the level of daily practices involvin! the body, or .hat Carol Belaney ,"DD":2D0 has referred to as the 4bodily trainin!6 that anthropolo!ists ,perhaps especially .omen anthropolo!ists0 m)st !o thro)!h .hen learnin! to fit into a ne. socioc)lt)ral settin!. 9s a yo)n!, recently married .oman, / .as ta)!ht to dress, bathe, interact .ith others, keep my home, comport my body, and so on as a yo)n! villa!e .oman and .ife does ,.ith some important differences and freedoms beca)se of my anomalo)s position as a forei!ner and researcher0. (he specificity and pervasiveness of the everyday bodily reG)irements that / .as e7pected to observe seemed to me G)ite )n.ieldy, )nacc)stomed as / .as to these forms of discipline ,tho)!h ready to comply G)ite )nconscio)sly .ith many of the e7pectations of my o.n c)lt)re, s)ch as the reG)irements that .omen keep their le!s to!ether .hile sittin! or be thin0. / had to learn to .ear saris, to keep my sho)lders and le!s covered at all times ,even .hen bathin! in a p)blic area, as .as commonly done0, to bathe and chan!e my clothes after defecatin! or to)chin! anythin! 4imp)re6 ,a2uddha0, to keep my hair bo)nd in a braid or a knot, to .ash my hands after eatin!, to adorn the part of my hair .ith the red vermilion of married .omen, to refrain from keepin! the company of men in my home, and so forth.

<ften it seemed that / co)ld do nothin! G)ite ri!ht, and my body .as scr)tiniAed for its imperfections and G)irks. +y skin .as becomin! too dark: from the /ndian s)n5 from .anderin! too m)ch beyond the home5 / .as too thin: .o)ld / be infertile, or )nattractive to my h)sband .hen he re2oined me5 +y occasional pimples .ere also ca)ses for concern and comment: .ere they ca)sed, perhaps, by e7cessive se7)al heat er)ptin! from my body, heat that co)ld not be spent .ith my h)sband far a.ay5 (he process .as diffic)lt and at times irritatin!N b)t my learnin! to fit as a .oman into villa!e life provided a val)able aven)e to.ard )nderstandin! .hat it .as to be a .oman in +an!aldihi. +ichel Co)ca)lt has .ritten masterf)lly abo)t ho. forms of po.er operate )pon the body in modern societies. 3e ar!)es that distinctly modern forms of po.er do not emanate from some central so)rce or soverei!n fi!)re, b)t circ)late thro)!ho)t the entire social body via the most min)te and pervasive everyday 4micropractices,6 s)ch as those / have described here8in people:s !est)res, habits, bodies, movements, desires, and self1s)rveillance ,"DE#, "DE%, "DED, "D&0b, "D&0c0. S)ch a notion of capillary po.er8.idely dispersed and anonymo)s8is partic)larly )sef)l for analyAin! !ender relations, for it is thro)!h the m)ndane practices of everyday life that m)ch of the str)ct)rin! and playin! o)t of !ender hierarchies takes place. 9s Sandra Bartky ,"DDE:"#"O#20 convincin!ly ar!)es, ho.ever, Co)ca)lt himself consistently treats the body as if it .ere one, as if the bodily e7periences of men and .omen did not differ. B)t in fact, in many ,or all50 societies8certainly in the 9merican and Ben!ali societies / kno.8there are disciplines that operate specifically )pon .omen:s bodies to prod)ce )niG)ely feminine modalities of embodiment ,see Bordo "DD#:"EO"D0. (hese disciplines, moreover, often do not emanate primarily from the kinds of modern instit)tions that are Co)ca)lt:s foc)s ,prisons, schools, hospitals, armies, and the like0, b)t rather from the everyday bodily reG)irements ta)!ht to !irls and .omen .ithin their families and local comm)nities. / soon discovered that most of my trainin! in my first fe. months in the villa!e had to do, in the dominant patrilineal disco)rse of +an!aldihi, .ith containin!, controllin!, and channelin! .omen:s se7)ality to.ard a h)sband, marria!e, and fertile reprod)ction .ithin a patrilinea!e. (hese bodily re!)lations .ere 2)stified and e7plained lar!ely in terms of perceived differences in the biolo!ies of the t.o se7es. -omen:s bodies .ere commonly described to me as more 4open6 ,/hol0 than men:s, as .ell as more 4hot6 ,garam0. 9s a res)lt, .omen co)ld be vie.ed as partic)larly v)lnerable to imp)rity ,a2uddhat0 and to en!a!in! in improper se7)al liaisons. 9s / learned ho. +an!aldihians mana!ed imp)rity in their daily lives, / .as initially str)ck by their attit)des s)rro)ndin! the relative openness of .omen. /t .as common for both .omen and men in +an!aldihi to describe .omen as 4imp)re6 ,a2uddha0, a G)ality that seemed to be tied to their re!ardin! .omen8postp)bertal and married .omen, at least8as more open and e7posed to mi7in! than .ere men. 9ltho)!h people seemed to vie. the bodies of "oth .omen and men as relatively open or permeable, they sa. .omen as bein! even more so. Scholars have lon! noted that 3ind)s commonly attrib)te lesser p)rity to .omen. -hile Lynn Bennett ,"D&#:2"'0 finds the ca)se in a va!)e sense of sin and imp)rity attached to menstr)ation, Catherine (hompson ,"D&%0 adds that childbirth, like menstr)ation, is linked to female poll)tion, and that .omen are vie.ed as partic)larly poll)tin! .hen they are not stron!ly identified .ith men. /. L)lia Leslie ,"D&D:2%0O%20 also mentions the imp)rity of menstr)ation, vie.ed in many 3ind) te7ts as a mark of both a .oman:s se7)al appetite and her 4innate imp)rity.6 She notes, too, that .omen are often compared in 3ind) te7ts to S)dras ,the lo.est of the fo)r &arn!as, or caste !ro)ps, and defilin! to the to)ch0, beca)se like S)dras .omen have lost the ri!ht to u%anayana, the initiation rit)al that )pper1 caste 3ind) men )nder!o to become 4t.ice1born6 ,"D&D:#&O$0, 2%"N cf. C. Smith "DD":"&0. CrederiG)e +ar!lin, alon! .ith notin! the imp)rity of menstr)al blood and the 4once1born6 S)dra1like stat)s of .omen, offers a more !eneral interpretation of imp)rity.?"@ /mp)rity, she s)!!ests, has to do .ith

violations of the bo)ndaries of the body, as in menstr)ation and childbirth ,as .ell as elimination, se7)al interco)rse, and .o)nds0, .ith .hich .omen are pres)mably more involved than men ,"DEE:2'%O''N "D&%a:$$N "D&%c:"DO20, '#0. /n +an!aldihi, / .as first e7posed to notions abo)t the imp)rity of .omen .hen / .as confronted .ith people:s bathin! practices, as .ell as their attempts to teach me to control my bodily imp)rities, infl)7es, and o)tflo.s thro)!h bathin!. -omen apparently became a2uddha very easily8after sleepin! in a bed ,.here saliva or se7)al fl)ids may have spilled0, to)chin! )n.ashed clothin!, handlin! )n.ashed dishes ,.hich are e7to, permeated .ith saliva0, en!a!in! in se7)al relations, !ivin! birth, menstr)atin!, or to)chin! any other imp)re person or thin!. 4/mp)rity6 seemed to be defined in s)ch conte7ts as a condition stemmin! from inappropriate, )nmatched, or )ndesired mi7in!, often of bodily s)bstances. 9ltho)!h this definition is similar to that offered by +ar!lin, it emphasiAes ina%%ro%riate, unmat#hed, or undesired body crossin!s ,.hat / have called 4mi7in!60N as +ar!lin herself notes ,"D&%b:''0, and as / have e7plored thro)!ho)t this book, many bodily crossin!s or mi7in!s8s)ch as in!estin! the leftovers of a deity, or sharin! food .ith intimate friends or kin8are not considered imp)re at all. C)rthermore, in locatin! imp)rity in 4overflo.s .hich cross the bo)ndaries of the body,6 +ar!lin ass)mes that the body is ordinarily a 4bo)nded entity6 ,"D&%b:'EN cf. +ar!lin "DEE, "D&%a:$$, "D&%c:D00, becomin! imp)re .henever its bo)ndaries are 4violated.6 (his ass)mption does not match local conceptions of the body or person ,both male and female0 as ordinarily relatively open and permeable. (he .omen / kne. reacted to the perceived imp)rity of their bodies in .ays that varied considerably. +any .omen, especially lo.er1caste .omen and those .ho .ere very b)sy .ith .ork, sho.ed little concern .ith ho. p)re or imp)re they mi!ht be at any !iven moment. B)t in the Brahman nei!hborhood in .hich / lived, it seemed that .omen .ere contin)ally bathin!, and reG)irin! me to bathe, sometimes )p to five or si7 times a day: after / defecated ,.hich )nfort)nately co)ld occ)r more than daily, especially .hen / .as s)fferin! from mild dysentery0, or visited a lo.er1caste nei!hborhood, or came in contact accidentally .ith some do!1doo, or to)ched the e7ternal panel of a tr)ck carryin! a dead body and its mo)rners to the cremation !ro)nd, or ret)rned from a b)s trip ,.here people of many castes and back!ro)nds min!le closely0, and on and on. / am cha!rined to confess, ho.ever, that for my first several months in the villa!e, / did not notice that .omen .ere m)ch more v)lnerable than men to s)ch daily imp)rities, and th)s more freG)ently s)b2ected to these bathin! rit)als. (hen one day >)r)saday +)kher2ee mentioned, G)ite by chance, that men do not have to bathe after comin! into c)rsory contact .ith imp)re thin!s. +en may choose to bathe after defecatin! or to)chin! )nmade beds or lo.er1caste people, b)t they do not ha&e toN if they do not, no harm or dos! .ill occ)r ,)nless, that is, they are !oin! to enter a temple or make offerin!s to a deity, .hen special p)rity is reG)ired0. / .as asto)nded, not only beca)se / realiAed that a male anthropolo!ist in +an!aldihi .o)ld not have had to spend so many seemin!ly f)tile ho)rs bathin!, b)t also beca)se / co)ld not believe that / had been so oblivio)s to this cr)cial difference in men:s and .omen:s daily practices. / spent the ne7t several .eeks askin! everyone, men and .omen, .hy it is that .omen .ere more v)lnerable to imp)rity than men. (heir ans.ers led me to believe, as / have already s)!!ested, that most +an!aldihians vie.ed .omen as anatomically more open ,/hol0 than men, and th)s more e7posed to mi7in!. +an!aldihians )s)ally e7plained .omen:s openness by describin! their involvement in menstr)ation, se7)ality, and childbirth 8all processes that involve s)bstances !oin! into and o)t of a .oman:s body. Cor instance, a .oman is especially open, and also imp)re ,a2uddha0, d)rin! her menstr)al period.?2@ 9 !irl:s first menstr)ation marks the be!innin!s of a state of openness, and th)s her readiness for marria!e, se7)al relations, and pre!nancy. +enstr)ation .as vie.ed as a time .hen e7cess blood flo.ed from the body, and a .oman had to be 4open6 for this to occ)r. /n contrast, a pre!nant .oman is temporarily 4closed6 ,"andha0N

.omen .ho have stopped menstr)atin! after menopa)se are permanently closed in this respect. Se7)al interco)rse also involves openin! a .oman, and vir!ins .ere sometimes described as "andha. /nterco)rse, said +an!aldihians, takes place .ithin the .oman and o)tside the man. Se7)al fl)ids or semen ,2u/ra0 leave the man at the moment of e2ac)lation to enter and permeate the .oman. <nce she has slept .ith a man, a .oman contains some of his s)bstance .ithin her permanently, altho)!h a man can sleep .ith a .oman .ith no real lastin! effect. (he process of childbirth itself .as said to make .omen imp)re and leave them dan!ero)sly open for a period of one month after they !ave birth or e7perienced a late miscarria!e or abortion. (o remedy this condition8to close and 4dry o)t6 ,2u/ote0 her body and .omb8a .oman had to )nder!o a dryin!, self1containin!, and separative period of birth imp)rity ,a2au#0, similar to that occ)rrin! after a death in the family.?#@ (he villa!e .omen / kne. had clear ideas abo)t the relative openness and imp)rity of .omen:s bodies. S)bradi, a married Brahman .oman, told me, 4-omen are al.ays imp)re ,a%a"itra0, beca)se everythin! happens to them ,oder sa" /i#hu hae08menstr)ation, childbirth. (hese don:t happen to men. Cor this reason if men to)ch a +)slim?$@ or defecate, no harm ,dos!0 happens to them, and they don:t have to .ash their clothes or bathe. B)t harm happens to a .oman.6 +y companion 3ena offered similar comments: 4+en are al.ays p)re ,2uddha0. ?*specially Brahman men, she e7plained G)ickly, b)t even Ba!di men are relatively p)re compared to .omen.@ (hey don:t menstr)ate or !ive birth. -omen menstr)ate, !ive birth8all that happens to them. +en only defecate, and nothin! else.6 9s S)bradi and 3ena both p)t it, thin!s 4happen6 to .omen ,oder sa" /i#hu hae08menstr)ation, childbirth, defecation, and so on. 9s passive receivers of action, .omen have a !reater v)lnerability to o)tside a!ents. (hey are also involved in more processes d)rin! .hich thin!s ,bodily s)bstances, even babies0 !o out from their bodies. 3ena later e7plained the difference bet.een men and .omen this .ay: 4?+en@ can even come ri!ht back from defecatin! and to)ch the .ater 2)! to drink .aterS Co)ld .e ?.omen@ do this5 JeverS6 9nother .oman said .ith some sarcasm .hile disc)ssin! the s)b2ect .ith me and a !ro)p of other .ives, 49 Brahman man can even drink alcohol and sleep .ith a +)ci .oman ?member of the leather.orkin! caste, the lo.est 3ind) 'ti in +an!aldihi@ and no harm ,dos!0 happens. 9 .oman never co)ldS (his is 2)st the h)man ?or male@ system ,mnus!er "idhn0.6 ?%@ 9nother .oman added, 4Cor men, mi7in! is <; ,mi2mi2e #ale0 .ith all castes. Jo harm or fa)lt happens to them.6 <ne common north /ndian sayin! ill)strates this notion of the openness or permeability of .omen partic)larly vividly: -omen are like )n!laAed earthen .ater 2)!s, .hich are permeable and become easily contaminated to s)ch depth that they cannot be p)rified. +en are like impermeable brass 2)!s, .hich are diffic)lt to contaminate and easy to p)rify ,cf. B)be "DE%:"'#, "D&&:"'N Lacobson "DE&:D&0. Some told me that only .hen a 3ind) man en!a!es in prolon!ed contact .ith lo.er1caste people or non13ind)s8by eatin! .ith them, visitin! freG)ently in the same home, or en!a!in! in a lon!1term se7)al relationship8.ill lastin! imp)rities accr)e to the man:s body. Brahmans in +an!aldihi also often compared .omen to lo.1caste people ,or S)dras0, sayin! that both .ere 4imp)re6 ,a2uddha0. (heir reasons incl)ded the fact that lo.er1caste people in +an!aldihi .ere !enerally not able ,even if they had .ished, .hich many did not0 to maintain the levels of p)rity commonly so)!ht by Brahmans. Cor instance, they lacked s)fficient clothin! to be able to chan!e soiled clothes d)rin! the day. (hey also lacked the time reG)ired to bathe repeatedly, as their days .ere filled .ith labor. C)rthermore, beca)se many Ba!di men and .omen .orked o)tside of the home as field laborers or domestic servants, they .ere reG)ired to mi7 more indiscriminately .ith a diversity of people and 'tis, often even cleanin! the dishes or )n.ashed clothin! ,imp)re from defecation or menstr)ation0 of others. 9ccordin! to dominant Brahman disco)rses, then, .omen and S)dras .ere 4open6 and s)b2ect to imp)rities in some of the same .ays. /n addition, neither .omen nor S)dras co)ld .ear the sacred thread indicatin! the 4t.ice1born6 and p)re stat)s of an )pper1caste male.

9 final point made to me abo)t .omen:s relative openness emphasiAed not their receptivity b)t their diff)sion. /t is .omen, people told me, .ho n)rse children, cook, fetch .ater, feed and care for ho)sehold !ods, and handle on a daily basis all sorts of ho)sehold thin!s. (hat is .hy .omen, rather than men, m)st take the most care in re!)latin! their mi7in!s .ith others, lest they e7)de imp)rity or )n.anted s)bstances onto the ho)sehold thin!s and members they feed and care for. S)ch notions abo)t the relative openness of .omen:s bodies are not )ncommon cross1c)lt)rally. (h)s Carol Belaney ,"DD":#&0 finds that in ()rkish society the male body is vie.ed as self1contained .hereas the female body is relatively )nbo)nded. Ienne 3irschon ,"DE&:E'O&00 .rites abo)t the ambi!)o)s nat)re of female 4openness6 in >reek society, .hile Lean Comaroff ,"D&%:&"0 notes the relative lack of clos)re of female bodies amon! the (s.ana of So)th 9frica. B)t .e m)st remember that in this comm)nity of north /ndia, even the male body .as not )s)ally considered to be .holly bo)ndN it .as only relati&ely bo)nd compared to the !reater openness of the female body. H H H 9nother distinctive characteristic of the female body, accordin! to many / kne., .as its 4hot6 ,garam0 nat)re. 3eat .as vie.ed in +an!aldihi as an element of all mi7in! and m)t)ality in social life, incl)din! se7)ality, attachment, love, and maya, as .ell as an!er and the messy mi7in!s of daily imp)rities. -hen people spoke to me of the heat of .omen:s bodies, they most often .ere referrin! to female se7)ality. Both men and .omen, people told me, prod)ce heatin! ,garam0 se7)al fl)ids8)terine or menstr)al blood ,rta",ra/ta0 and semen or seed ,2u/ra0. Both male and female se7)al fl)ids are hi!hly distilled forms of blood derived from the cookin! of food .ithin the body. B)t .omen have more se7)al heat than men, at least d)rin! their postp)bertal and premenopa)sal years, as is demonstrated by menstr)ation, .hich res)lts from an overab)ndance of hot blood periodically drainin! from the body. ?'@ Cor this reason, people !enerally a!reed that it .as safe, even desirable, for .omen to have re!)lar se7)al relations .ithin marria!e, as a .ay to e7pend and re!)late bodily heat. B)t men had to be more caref)l to en!a!e in se7)al interco)rse .ith only moderate freG)ency. -hile complete abstinence for men co)ld lead to e7cessive bodily heatin!, very freG)ent se7)al activity, noct)rnal emission, or mast)rbation co)ld res)lt in e7cessive coolin! and an )nhealthy depletion of male vitality, even premat)re !rayin! or impotence.?E@ +any .omen told me that their h)sbands tho)!ht it best to have interco)rse only once a .eek, altho)!h some had en!a!ed in se7)al activity almost every ni!ht d)rin! their first year or t.o of marria!e ,thereby ca)sin! some h)sbands concern0. (he real dan!er for .omen and their families of this !reater se7)al heat attrib)ted to .omen seemed to be the possibility of se7)al liaisons o)tside of marria!e. Se7)ality within marria!e, if not )nd)ly e7cessive, .as a)spicio)s and desirable, both for the sake of pleas)re and, even more important, for creatin! children and carryin! on the family line. +ar!lin ,"D&%a, "D&%c:&DO""#0 makes the important point that altho)!h female se7)ality in the 3ind) .orld is imp)re, it is also inherently a)spicio)s. +ar!lin:s <riya informants also note that the separation reG)ired of .omen d)rin! their menstr)al periods is desi!ned not merely to prevent .omen from contaminatin! others b)t also to e7press reverence for .omen:s creative capacities and to allo. them, respectf)lly, to rest ,"DD':"'" and passimN +ar!lin and +ishra "DD#N +ar!lin and Simon "DD$0. /n +an!aldihi married .omen spent m)ch of their daily lives enhancin! their se7)al and reprod)ctive po.ers ,as .ell as their attractiveness for their h)sbands08by .earin! red ,a symbol of heat, se7)ality, fertility, and menstr)al blood0: they applied red vermilion to the partin! of their hair, .ore red ban!les and saris, and painted red lt on their feet.?&@ Brides1to1be and pre!nant yo)n! .ives .ere also often fed especially .ell in their ho)seholdsN they .ere !iven delicio)s heatin! and nonve!etarian foods in order to enhance their bodily

heat, se7)ality, and fertility. B)t the G)alities of se7)ality and heat co)ld be very dan!ero)s o)tside the conte7t of marria!e and the patrilineal family line. 9ccordin! to both male and female informants, .omen .ere even more likely than men to be )nable to resist a se7)al )r!e and be thro.n into promisc)ity. (his perception has lon! been common thro)!ho)t /ndia. Cor instance, Med and Sylvia Mat)k ,"DED:2"%0 G)ote a version of the ballad of the 4L)stf)l Stepmother6 pop)lar in Uttar Pradesh in the mid1"D$0s: 4;in!, there are tho)sands of old books describin! l)st, and all a!ree that "E 20ths of l)st belon!s to .omen, # 20ths to men. (hat is .hy yo) cannot tr)st her. She has so m)ch po.er in her bodyS6 +ar!lin ,"D&%c:'00 similarly finds that amon! the Brahman temple servants in P)ri, 4.omen are believed to have fo)r times the se7)al po.er of men.F(hey are th)s fo)r times more likely than men to be )nable to resist a se7)al )r!e.6 9nd indeed, many .omen / kne. did speak in !eneral terms abo)t the potential of .omen to s)cc)mb to se7)al )r!esN yet .hen speakin! of their own e7periences, almost all described the men in their lives as p)rs)in! se7 more fervently than they. Several of *. Malentine Baniel:s male informants similarly commented that altho)!h .omen have more se7)al desire than men, they are better able than men to control themselves ,"D&$:"E"OE20. Consens)s on these matters is th)s diffic)lt to reach. +ost in +an!aldihi seemed to a!ree, ho.ever, that the conseG)ences of .omen en!a!in! in se7)al relations o)tside of marria!e co)ld be !rave. 9n )nmarried !irl .ho has se7)al relations and .hose pre!nancy becomes kno.n r)ins her rep)tation and that of her natal family, serio)sly 2eopardiAin! her o.n and any yo)n!er sisters: chances for marria!e. +an!aldihians told me that in earlier times s)ch yo)n! .omen .ere thro.n o)t of their ho)seholds or even killed in order to protect the family:s rep)tation ,tho)!h no one co)ld s)pply a specific instance of s)ch e7treme action0. Jo.adays a pre!nant !irl:s family .ill )s)ally try to find o)t .ho made her pre!nantN and if the man is )nmarried and of the same caste, her family .ill press)re his family into takin! the !irl as a .ife, or at least providin! a siAable s)m of money for her f)t)re do.ry8attempts that are not al.ays s)ccessf)l, as a boy:s family can )se vario)s strate!ies to d)ck responsibility, incl)din! blamin! the .hole affair on the nat)ral promisc)ity and se7)al voracity of the yo)n! .oman ,Lamb "DD20. Brothers or a savvy mother may also intercede early on to !et the !irl an abortion or ind)ce a miscarria!e, sometimes s)ccessf)lly keepin! the .hole matter a family secret. B)t no family .ants to brin! a child into the .orld .ho co)ld not !ro. )p as part of a father:s family line and .ho .o)ld be a perpet)al reminder of his mother:s indiscretion. /n the one case / kne. in .hich an )nmarried !irl did !ive birth to a near f)ll1term baby, the baby .as immediately killed and b)ried on the o)tskirts of the villa!e. 9ccordin! to letters / still receive from the family, the yo)n! .oman and her yo)n!er sisters, years later, remain )nable to marry. 9 married .oman mi!ht find it easier to hide an e7tramarital liaison, beca)se a res)ltin! pre!nancy #ould be her h)sband:s. ,<ne villa!e .oman:s t.o children, for e7ample, looked distinctly like one of the main temple priests, not her h)sband. 9 fe. f)rtively !ossiped to me8had / noticed58b)t p)blicly people seemed to look the other .ay.0 Crom a traditional perspective of patrilineality, ho.ever, the conseG)ences for s)ch a .oman and her ho)sehold .ere eG)ally serio)s. (o )nderstand .hy, .e m)st look briefly at local theories of procreation. /n +an!aldihi, as in -est Ben!al and Ban!ladesh !enerally, conception .as said to come abo)t thro)!h the mi7in! of the man:s 4seed6 ,"3'0, contained in his semen ,2u/ra0, .ith the .oman:s )terine blood ,rta"0 .ithin the .omb ,gar"ha0, .hich is often referred to as a 4field6 ,/shetra0.?D@ (he child prod)ced from this )nion co)ld be called the 4fr)it,6 or %hal. /t is the man .ho is responsible for plantin! the 4seed6 of the f)t)re child in the .omb or 4field6 of the .oman. (he seed is !enerated from the father:s blood, and so by passin! his seed on to his child, the father passes on his blood ,ra/ta0. (he .oman also contrib)tes blood to the fet)s and child, for she no)rishes it .ith first her )terine blood and then her breast milk, both of .hich .ere vie.ed as distilled forms of blood. B)t it is the father8both men and .omen in +an!aldihi a!reed8.ho is the one

actively responsible for !eneratin! the child thro)!h prod)cin! and plantin! the 4seed.6 By passin! on his seed, the father also passes on his "am!2a, or family line, to his child. 9t the time of conception, if the parents are married the mother has the same "am!2a as the father, since a .oman becomes part of her h)sband:s "am!2a at marria!e. Jonetheless, Ben!alis say that it is fathers, not mothers, .ho provide a "am!2a for their children. (he forefather ,di%urus!0 of a "am!2a is the 4root6 ,mHl0 male, and the family line ascends )p.ard from this root thro)!h a line of fathers and sons, like a very lon!1!ro.in! and many1branched bamboo. /f a married .oman has se7)al relations .ith a man other than her h)sband, his se7)al fl)ids and bodily s)bstance enter her permanently. Jot only is she th)s tainted by a stran!er or an 4other6 ,%arer0 man:s s)bstance, b)t she co)ld pass his resid)es on to her .hole family8.hen she no)rishes her children in her .omb and .ith breast milk, .hen she cooks for her h)sband and ho)sehold members, and .hen she makes offerin!s to the ancestors. Several Brahman .omen told me, too, that ancestors .ill not accept food offered by an ad)lteress ,cf. +ar!lin "D&%c:%#0. 9nd obvio)sly, if a married .oman becomes pre!nant .ith another man:s seed, she threatens the contin)ity of her h)sband:s and his ancestors: family line, for the child born to the family .ill not be spro)ted from the same male line of 4seeds.6 So +ar!lin ,"D&%c:''O'E0 describes the vie.s of those in nei!hborin! <rissa: 49 .oman, like a field, m)st be .ell !)arded, for one .ants to reap .hat one has so.n and not .hat another has so.n.6 Cor men in +an!aldihi, chastity .as also re!arded as a virt)e. +en .ho openly en!a!ed in e7tramarital affairs co)ld be said to have a 4bad character6 ,#aritra /hr%0 or a 4bad nat)re6 ,s&a"h" /hr%0. B)t the merit or demerit res)ltin! from a man:s se7)al behavior affected mostly himself, not his ho)sehold, ancestors, or the contin)ity of his family line.

Co)ntermeas)res6 Containing the -od&

Beca)se of the perceived potential dan!ers of a .oman:s openness and se7)ality, .omen and !irls in the +an!aldihi re!ion .ere ta)!ht by their senior kin to discipline their bodies8to attempt selectively ,in certain conte7ts, especially in p)blic and aro)nd men0 to close themselvesN they relied on spatial secl)sion, cloth coverin!s, bindin! the hair, special diets, and the like. (hese disciplinin! techniG)es seemed to aim primarily at controllin! and channelin! a .oman:s po.ers to.ard desired ends .ithin a patrilinea!e. Bominant disco)rses indicated that a .oman:s body .as in most need of control or containment bet.een the onset of p)berty and marria!e, as .ell as d)rin! the early years of marria!e, beca)se a .oman .as most v)lnerable to violations8se7)al and other.ise8of her body and ho)sehold d)rin! those times. <ne .ay of controllin! a .oman:s v)lnerability .as thro)!h physical isolation. Prep)bertal !irls and boys en2oyed a relative freedom of movement thro)!h all the spaces of the villa!e8.alkin! to the primary school on the villa!e o)tskirts, r)nnin! to vario)s stores on errands, playin! in d)sty lanes and on the banks of ponds. By the time !irls !rad)ated from the villa!e:s primary school, ho.ever, their spheres of movement became increasin!ly constricted. +ost )pper1caste and some lo.er1caste !irls did vent)re beyond the villa!e to attend hi!h school ,e7cept d)rin! the fo)r days of their menstr)al periods0N b)t they .ere e7pected at other times to remain lar!ely .ithin their o.n nei!hborhoodsN lo.er1caste !irls mi!ht fish or .ork in the fields, b)t al.ays accompanied by their mothers or other female kin. -ithin their nei!hborhoods, )nmarried !irls still spent time o)t of their o.n ho)ses, as they sat in the co)rtyards or on the doorsteps of their nei!hbors: homes, talked, played .ith friends, and .atched people come and !o. >irls of this a!e also often .ent on brief errands for their elders8to pick )p a little s)!ar or a fe. matches, or to brin! .ater from the pond or hand p)mp ,attached to a t)be .ell0. B)t !rad)ally, e7cept if .orkin! o)t of the home .ith other .omen, they .ere pressed to confine

themselves more strictly to their o.n homes and nei!hborhoods. 9fter .omen married and moved to their 2&a2ur "r!i ,father1in1la.:s home0, their spatial domains contracted even f)rther. *specially .hen ne.ly married, a .ife .o)ld rarely !o o)t of the ho)se at all, save her 2o)rneys once or t.ice a day ,accompanied by other ho)sehold .omen0 to the fields to defecate and to a pond to bathe. >rad)ally, the demands of daily .ork reG)ired that most married .omen vent)re o)t of the ho)se8to fetch .ater, to .ash dishes, or ,if the .oman .as of lo.er caste0 to .ork in the fields or in other people:s homes. +arried .omen also con!re!ated freG)ently at villa!e temples to perform &rata rit)als for the .ell1bein! of their ho)seholds. 9nd in the late afternoons .hen their ho)sehold tasks eased, married .omen occasionally made brief visits to a nei!hbor .oman:s home for tea, or sat on a front doorstep talkin! .ith other .omen and children. B)t other than s)ch necessary or brief interl)des, married .omen confined their movements lar!ely to the interiors of their homes: cookin!, cleanin!, carin! for children, and talkin! amon! ho)sehold members and !)ests. +en, in contrast, lived and moved relatively 4o)tside6 ,"ire0 thro)!ho)t their lives. (he yo)n! men of +an!aldihi, both married and )nmarried, con!re!ated to!ether in !ro)ps in the villa!e:s most p)blic and central places, as .ell as on the villa!e:s o)ter peripheries and beyond. =o)n! men !athered for ho)rs every day at the villa!e tea shops, read the daily ne.spapers at the central library, h)n! o)t in front of the t.o ne. video halls, sat in !ro)ps in the central villa!e !reen, played soccer on the playin! field on the villa!e o)tskirts, sat on the paved road by the b)s stop .atchin! people come and !o, and had 4picnics6 in the villa!e:s o)ter fields. (hese .ere places .here .omen rarely vent)red, and / often lon!ed to be able to 2oin them there8their activities looked f)n and free. 3ena a!reedN b)t she advised me not to !o. +en also made freG)ent o)tin!s to to.ns and villa!es beyond +an!aldihi, .hether comm)tin! to .ork or b)yin! and sellin! !oods in lar!er markets. -omen .ere also contained by their clothin!, .hich covered their bodies and ne)traliAed their se7)ality. =o)n! villa!e !irls .ore knee1len!th, li!ht cotton 4frocks,6 .hich .ere !rad)ally replaced .ith f)ll1len!th salwar8/amee1 ,pants)its0 and then saris as the !irls passed thro)!h p)berty and reached marria!eable a!e. /t .as improper for married .omen, and mat)re )nmarried !irls, to e7pose too m)ch of their bodies, incl)din! their calves and sho)lders. Some !irls fo)nd the transition to these more modest and restrictive forms of clothin! G)ite dist)rbin!. Choto described ho. horrible she felt .hen her parents first be!an to make her .ear a salwar8/amee1 and veil to cover her le!s, sho)lders, and chest .henever she left the nei!hborhood. She had be!)n to develop earlier than her friends and co)ld not )nderstand .hy she had to .ear these ne. clothes, .hy her body had s)ddenly become a private and shamef)l thin!. +arried .omen also covered their heads .ith the ends of their saris ,as a ghomt!, or veil0 .henever they .ere in the presence of senior men in their h)sbands: ho)seholds and villa!es. (his veilin!, performed as an act of respect and avoidance, served a do)ble f)nction: it protected men from overe7pos)re to .omen:s po.er and it protected .omen from )n.anted male advances ,cf. Papanek and +ina)lt "D&20.?"0@ Cor their part, men had a .ide ran!e of clothin! available to them. +any .ho co)ld afford it and those .ho comm)ted to 2obs in cities en2oyed .earin! -estern1style shirts and tro)sers. B)t .hen days .ere .arm and .hen they .ere cas)ally han!in! o)t at home or in tea stalls, or .hen they .ent to .ork in fields, most men .ore lungis ,informal loin cloths0 or dhotis: cloths .rapped aro)nd the .aist, .ith chest and calves e7posed. 9s a meas)re to c)rtail e7cessive openness, .omen .ere also e7pected to bind their hair, keepin! it in braids or tied )p in a knot. -omen ordinarily bo)nd their hair .henever !oin! o)t in p)blic, and in fact in my early days in the villa!e people .o)ld disapprovin!ly .onder .hy / kept my hair loose or 4open6 ,/hol0, )ntil / !ave in and be!an ro)tinely to tie my hair )p. /t .as partic)larly important to bind the hair d)rin! menstr)ation, pres)mably to co)nter the .oman:s e7cessive openness d)rin! this period.?""@ Some .omen also employed coolin! diets ,avoidin! 4hot6 foods s)ch as fish, !arlic, and onions0 to

close their bodies and restrain their se7)ality. (his re!ime .as follo.ed after childbirth ,.hen a .oman:s body is dan!ero)sly open0, after becomin! a .ido. ,.hen a .oman has no le!itimate means of e7pendin! se7)al ener!y0, and sometimes after enterin! p)berty ,especially if a !irl s)ffers from acne, a condition said to come abo)t from e7cessive se7)al heat er)ptin! thro)!h the skin0. (he bathin! practices described above .ere also intended to contain the body ,controllin! its infl)7es and o)tflo.s0 by p)rifyin! it of )n.anted intr)sions and by preventin! these s)bstances from enterin! .omen:s ho)seholds. (hese co)ntermeas)res, partic)larly spatial secl)sion and veilin!, are kno.n in m)ch of north and central /ndia as 4p)rdah,6 a .ord literally meanin! 4a c)rtain.6 ?"2@ (he term ,%ard in Ben!ali0 is not commonly )sed in the +an!aldihi re!ion of -est Ben!al, b)t .omen:s daily practices often did create a protective 4c)rtain6 aro)nd them. (hese practices f)nctioned to contain a .oman:s most important and intimate interactions .ithin her ho)sehold, and to channel her se7)al and reprod)ctive po.ers to.ard her h)sband and to.ard e7tendin! his patrilinea!e. 9 !entle, middle1a!ed Brahman priest ill)minated their si!nificance .hen he told me, 4-omen have more po.er ,2a/ti0 than men, b)t their po.ers come from servin! others, not from actin! alone.6 H H H

Com*eting ers*e(ti%es6 E%er&da& Forms o$ Resistan(e

3o. did .omen in +an!aldihi feel abo)t all these forms of bodily trainin!5 Until recently, many ethno!raphies of !ender in So)th 9sia left the impression that .omen silently and compliantly accept a monolithic set of c)lt)ral val)es abo)t the poll)tin! and dan!ero)s dimensions of their bodies and se7)ality.?"#@ +ore recent .ork, ho.ever, has so)!ht to )ncover the .ays in .hich many .omen are able to critiG)e, reinterpret, or resist s)ch dominant ideolo!ies, thro)!h their son!s, stories, !est)res, and everyday practices ,e.!., Iahe2a and >old "DD$, Bas "D&&, Leffery and Leffery "DD'0. >loria Iahe2a and 9nn >old ,"DD$:"00 incisively ar!)e ,also citin! Bas "D&&0: 4?(@o ass)me that s)ch characteriAations ?of the poll)tin! and dan!ero)s dimensions of .omen:s bodies@ define the limits of .omen:s self1)nderstandin!s and moral disco)rse is to i!nore or silence meanin!s that are voiced in rit)al son!s and storiesFand in !est)res and metamessa!es in ordinary lan!)a!e thro)!ho)t northern /ndia.6 S)bmission and silence, f)rthermore, do not necessarily indicate an )neG)ivocal, f)lly internaliAed compliance or modestyN they may at times be conscio)s and e7pedient strate!ies deployed by .omen.?"$@ /n +an!aldihi, the .omen / kne. presented alternative visions and practices of the female body, .orkin! aro)nd and s)btly challen!in! ,even as they often voiced and acG)iesced to0 the kinds of dominant ideolo!ies / have been describin! th)s far. 9t the same time that / .as ta)!ht by many of the .omen in my nei!hborhood ho. to mana!e my body8by bathin!, bein! ca)tio)s abo)t .hat / to)ched, bindin! my hair, and so forth8/ .as also ta)!ht ho. to !et aro)nd some of these restrictions in more s)btle or private .ays. (ho)!h many .omen appeared to be metic)lo)s abo)t matters of p)rity, others seemed to observe these strict)res 2)st eno)!h to avoid criticism, .itho)t havin! f)lly internaliAed or accepted notions abo)t the dan!ers of female imp)rity. Cor instance, on several occasions .hen / and a female companion .ere ret)rnin! from visitin! a lo.1caste or non13ind) ,+)slim or Santal0 nei!hborhood, my companion .o)ld .hisper to me as .e approached o)r nei!hborhood, 4Let:s not tell anyone that .e to)ched anyone there 8then .e .on:t have to bathe.6 / sho)ld note, ho.ever, that this happened most often if the .oman accompanyin! me .as )nmarried8indeed, only once did a married .oman propose s)ch a plan. 9pparently .omen felt increasin!ly obli!ated as .ives to comply .ith e7pected standards as they took on more responsibilities of )pholdin! the ho)sehold, cookin!, carin! for deities, and so on. <n another occasion, a yo)n! .oman friend s)ddenly had to defecate 2)st as .e .ere abo)t to catch a

b)s to make a trip to to.n. -hereas most in the villa!e relieved themselves in the fields, my landlord let me make )se of their fancy o)tho)seN it .as a small brick b)ildin! .ith t.o chambers, one for )rinatin! and one for defecatin!. +y friend s)!!ested that she .o)ld )se that o)tho)se ,since she .as .ith me0 and said that if anyone noticed her !oin! in, she .o)ld say that she had 2)st !one into the )rinatin! chamber ,an action that .o)ld not reG)ire her to bathe0, beca)se she did not .ant to have to stop to bathe and chan!e her clothes before !oin! to to.n. 4>reat ideaS6 / said, happy to kno. that some .omen played .ith the r)les. ,/ had previo)sly tho)!ht of that same trick .ith the o)tho)se myself.0 9nother e7ample of a .oman .ho did not seem f)lly to accept p)blic notions abo)t the !ravity of female poll)tion .as provided by a pil!rim on the b)s to)r / took from +an!aldihi to P)ri ,see chapter $0. (he dominant ideolo!y in the re!ion held that menstr)atin! .omen .ere not fit pil!rims and sho)ld not enter temples. <ne mornin!, ho.ever, some )sed menstr)al ra!s .ere fo)nd in a corner of the bathroom of the pil!rim:s !)est ho)se .here the !ro)p had stayed the ni!ht. Some older .omen be!an e7claimin!, 4ChiS ChiS -hat a !reat sin ,mah%%0 to !o on a pil!rima!e .hile menstr)atin!S6 b)t then the matter .as dropped. / later happened to find o)t .ho the menstr)atin! .oman .as. She admitted to me that she realiAed that her period mi!ht be!in on the pil!rima!e, b)t she had really .anted to !o. She added that she believed that no harm ,dos!0 .o)ld occ)r, beca)se her devotion ,"ha/t30 .as p)re ,%a"itra0. ,/ .as a bit relieved to hear this, beca)se my period had )nfort)nately be!)n on the 2o)rney as .ell.0?"%@ 9s far as / co)ld tell, she s)ccessf)lly kept the matter a secret, and none of the other .omen made any real effort to discover .ho the so)rce of the ra!s .as. *ven those .ho maintained strict bodily p)rity sometimes acted for reasons more comple7 than a simple acG)iescence to the official vie.s abo)t female bodies. Cor instance, there .as one Brahman .oman in o)r nei!hborhood .ho .as kno.n to be e7tremely 4finicky6 or 4fastidio)s6 ,/h5t/h5te0 abo)t matters of p)rity. She .as contin)ally .ashin! her hands, bathin!, chan!in! her clothes, and scr)bbin! the ho)se. She made her t.o da)!hters bathe and chan!e their clothes each time they reentered the home from school or play. She resisted to)chin! other people or thin!s, even her o.n da)!hters, e7cept .hen necessary. <ther .omen told me, as a partial e7planation, that her h)sband .as havin! a lon!1term, p)blic affair .ith a lo.1caste .oman, .hom he kept in a separate home on the borders of the villa!e. Perhaps maintainin! an e7treme state of bodily p)rity .as the only .ay available to this .oman to !ain some control over her o.n body, and to close herself to the intr)sions the other .oman and her h)sband .ere makin! into her life. / also enco)ntered a .ide diversity of .omen:s perspectives and practices s)rro)ndin! female se7)ality, some of .hich s)bverted dominant patrilineal ideolo!ies. Se7)ality .as a common and .elcome topic of conversation amon! .omen, especially .hen a ne. bride .as present. (his !ave .omen the opport)nity to cro.d aro)nd and probe her abo)t her ne. se7)al e7periences: 3o. .as she en2oyin! it5 3o. many times had they done it5 <ne ne. bride, .ith her h)sband:s apparent approval, came to ask me for tips from my o.n c)lt)re or e7periences on ho. a .oman can increase her se7)al pleas)re. Some .omen ,married and )nmarried0 had se7)al relations o)tside of marria!e, and seemed to be able to mana!e them .ith no serio)s conseG)ences. / met one s)ch amoro)sly involved .oman, .hom / .ill call ;eya, on my first afternoon in +an!aldihi. Shortly after / had deposited my fe. ho)sehold belon!in!s in the small m)d h)t in .hich / .as to reside, t.o married .omen .hom / !)essed to be in their early thirties came to pay me a visit. -e chatted for a little .hile abo)t this and that, and then ;eya, to my s)rprise, asked me ho. to say the names of the male and female se7)al or!ans in *n!lish. / told her. She smiled .ith pleas)re, and then be!an to say the .ords lo)dly .hile la)!hin! .ith her friendN she repeated them for the rest of the afternoon, as they ret)rned to their ho)sehold .ork. ,/ .as only sli!htly comforted by the hope that no one else, other than .e three, .o)ld be able to )nderstand

.hat she .as sayin!.0 / later fo)nd o)t that probably some of her ea!erness to disc)ss se7)al matters in this stran!ely p)blic yet s)rreptitio)s .ay stemmed from her en!a!ement in a clandestine love affair .ith another married yo)n! man of the villa!e. 3er o.n marria!e had been arran!ed a!ainst her .ill to a man considerably older than she .asN he had married her after his first .ife, her o.n sister, had died .hile he had been attemptin! to !ive her an abortion ,/ never kne. precisely ho. or .hy0. ;eya had never been partic)larly romantically inclined to.ard her h)sband8nor he to.ard her, from .hat / co)ld !ather. /n lar!e part, her role in the marria!e consisted of carin! for her h)sband:s children by her sister. <ne .ay that she co)ld !ain some de!ree of pleas)re and a!ency in her life .as thro)!h takin! a lover. ,<nce, .hen her h)sband .as o)t of to.n for a fe. days, she borro.ed one of my lace 9merican bras.0 /n the one case / enco)ntered ,mentioned above0 in .hich an )nmarried !irl, 4+ith),6 did become pre!nant .ith tra!ic conseG)ences, it is important to note that criticisms of the villa!e .omen foc)sed not on the r)ined chastity or se7)al promisc)ity of the yo)n! !irl ,acc)sations voiced by the yo)n! man:s family, in an attempt to thr)st all blame sG)arely on her0 b)t rather on the )nfor!ivable na^vetQ of a yo)n! .oman and her mother .ho did nothin! to terminate a pre!nancy before it became p)blic. Underlyin! the villa!e .omen:s disco)rse seemed to be the notion that the virt)e of a .oman is tied not only or even primarily to traditional notions of chastity b)t also to the strate!ic capacity ,or lack thereof0 of a .oman to constr)ct a virt)o)s p)blic ima!e or 4name6 ,nm0. (hese conversations led me to realiAe that many of the .omen / kne. strove to maintain an appearance of self1containment, p)rity, or chastity not so m)ch beca)se they believed that they were more se7)ally dan!ero)s or imp)re than men, b)t beca)se they )nderstood that maintainin! s)ch a p)blic ima!e .as the only .ay for them to preserve both their o.n honor and that of the men and .omen in their families .hom they cared abo)t. (heir comple7, m)ltilayered perspectives seemed to resonate .ith those of Badi, the mother1in1la. of the evocative film Dadi6s )amily. Iememberin! her earlier years as a yo)n! .ife, Badi speaks in her resol)te and tho)!htf)l mode: 4/ piled on the yeses, b)t / did .hat / .anted to do.6 Iesistance m)st often be s)btle. / do not .ant to deny the felt oppressiveness of many of the ideolo!ies and practices that did discipline and control local .omen:s bodies, movements, and lives, or to e7a!!erate or romanticiAe their capacities to resist. 9t the same time, it .o)ld be .ron! and misleadin! to overlook the .ays that .omen in +an!aldihi did in many conte7ts reinterpret, play .ith, s)bvert, and critically eval)ate the disciplinin! practices and ideolo!ies that other.ise often served to control their bodies and lives. H H H

The Changes o$ Age O'der Women

/f one of o)r aims, as scholars of !ender in So)th 9sia and else.here, is to complicate o)r )nderstandin!s of the str)ct)rin! of !ender relations, then it is important not only to look at the m)ltiple, competin! .ays that .omen ima!ine and interpret, resist, and criticiAe dominant ideolo!ies of !ender in their societies, b)t also to e7amine the .ays that .omen:s bodies, identities, and forms of po.er ,or s)bordination0 are perceived to chan!e over the life co)rse. -omen:s bodies and identities in north /ndia do not stay the same thro)!ho)t their lives. 9 fe. scholars have ackno.led!ed the shiftin! roles that /ndian .omen ass)me .ithin their ho)seholds and families, as da)!hters, sisters, .ives, mothers, and mothers1in1la.. B)t almost no .ork has been done on ho. .omen:s "odies are perceived to chan!e over a lifetime, and the concomitant social and political implications of these chan!es ,an e7ception is S. Mat)k "DD20. 9s a res)lt, ethno!raphies of !ender in So)th 9sia ,incl)din! the earlier

pa!es of this chapter0 have tended to !ive the impression that local definitions of female embodiment revolve centrally aro)nd se7)ality, fertility, childbirth, and menstr)ation, and that cate!ories of !ender are tied to differences bet.een .omen and men perceived to be fi7ed and dichotomo)s. /n +an!aldihi, ho.ever, as / first mentioned in the introd)ction, .omen .ere believed to )nder!o si!nificant chan!es in their somatic ,and related social0 identities as they a!ed, in .ays s)!!estin! that to analyAe local definitions of !ender by concentratin! only on .omen d)rin! their married and reprod)ctive years .o)ld lead to serio)sly fla.ed concl)sions. 9ccordin! to the villa!ers, .omen e7perienced a relative closin! and coolin! of the body as they entered into postreprod)ctive phases of life. (h)s the G)alities of 4heat6 and 4openness6 that .ere often )sed to describe female bodies in fact pertained to .omen d)rin! their premenopa)sal ,and postp)bertal0 years only. S)ch bodily coolin! also meant that older .omen co)ld freely !ive )p most co)ntermeas)res of p)rdah, or 4c)rtainin!6 and containment, that many had earlier practiced. +enopa)se in and of itself did not constit)te a very hi!hly marked or visible transition in .omen:s lives in +an!aldihi.?"'@ /t .as importantN b)t many of the chan!es that .ent alon! .ith menopa)se ,namely, a cessation in se7)al and reprod)ctive activities0 )s)ally be!an earlier, as .omen married off their children and moved to the more detached, celibate peripheries of ho)sehold life ,see chapter $0. +enopa)se nonetheless added an important dimension to an a!in! .oman:s bodily and social transitions: a 4closin!6 of the body and, .ith this, an increased p)rity and freedom of interaction. (he process of menopa)se, .hich .as called a 4stoppin! ,or closin!0 of menstr)ation6 ,msi/ "andha hoy0, .as perceived to entail a coolin!, dryin!, and relative closin! of the .oman:s body. 9s menstr)ation involves the release of e7cess se7)al1reprod)ctive heat, so the stoppin! of the menstr)al flo. marks a depletion and coolin! of this heat, and th)s a decrease in ,hot0 se7)al desires and reprod)ctive capacities. -omen said that after menopa)se, their bodies had become cool and dry and they no lon!er felt the heat of se7)al desire. *arly on in my stay, / asked Choto +a if old people .ere hot or cold. She teased me at first for askin! s)ch a silly G)estion. 4<f co)rse the bodies of yo)n! people like you are hot,6 she said, and her kno.in! smile indicated that she .as referrin! at least in part to se7)al heat. (hen she added serio)sly, 4<ld people are not hot like that.6 3er friend and sister1 in1la., +e2o +a, added: 4-hen yo) !et old, everythin! becomes closed or stopped ,"andha0. (hat .hich happens bet.een h)sband and .ife stops. +enstr)ation stops. 9nd then .hen yo)r h)sband dies, eatin! all hot food stops as .ell.?"E@ (his is so that the body .ill dry o)t and not be hot ,'te 2ar3r 2u/iye '"e, garam ha"e n0.6 Bho!i Ba!di also spoke to me of the coolin! and dryin! of her body after menopa)se. She en2oyed sittin! in the narro., d)sty lane in front of her ho)se talkin! abo)t se7, )sin! v)l!ar lan!)a!e, and teasin! the yo)n! people .ho visited her abo)t their se7)al practices. So / asked her one day if she still had se7)al desire. She ans.ered G)ickly ,as / reported in an epi!raph to this chapter0: 4Jo, of co)rse notS 9fter the blood stopped, my body dried o)t ,ra/ta "andha hoyr %ar, 2ar3r 2u/iye ge#he0. *ven if / .anted to ?have se7@, / .o)ldn:t be able to. / had fo)r kids, then my blood dried )p, and then my body dried )p ,deha 2u/iye ge#he0. Jo. / have desire ,lo"h0 only for food.6 9ltho)!h most .omen be!an to refrain from en!a!in! in se7)al and reprod)ctive activity before menopa)se, menopa)se nonetheless si!nified for .omen a complete stoppin! of se7)al1reprod)ctive processes8not only of the activities themselves b)t of the capacities to en!a!e in them. (he nat)re of the body th)s f)ndamentally chan!ed. (his coolin! of somatic heat in con2)nction .ith the cessation of menstr)al flo. co)ld, some said, be accompanied by an increase in the heat of an!er ,rg0. Several mentioned that altho)!h old .omen no lon!er feel the heat of se7)al desire, they do become easily 4hot6 or an!ry in the head ,mth garam hae 'e0. -hile these mi!ht appear to be references to .hat .e label 4hot flashes,6 these sensations did not seem to be a c)lt)rally reco!niAed phenomenon for +an!aldihians. / asked G)ite a fe. .omen

abo)t feelin! .arm d)rin! menopa)se, and only t.o mentioned that they had e7perienced this: one described a feelin! of 4fire6 ,gun0 in the head, and the other spoke of havin! 4hot ears6 ,garam /n0. +ore told me instead that .omen can become easily an!ry ,also a 4hot1headed6 state0 in older a!e. (his transfer of heat from se7)ality to an!er did not seem to be vie.ed as !ender specific, ho.ever: it co)ld happen to older men as .ell ,cf. Cohen "DD&0. Cor .omen, the si!nificance of this transition lay in their chan!e to a state of increased p)rity, coolness, and relative bo)ndedness of the body. /t .as at this point, after a .oman:s menstr)al periods had stopped and especially if she .as .ido.ed and )pper caste, that a .oman .as considered to be 4p)re6 ,2uddha or %a"itra0, comparable to a deity ,t!h/urer moto0, and in some .ays 4like a man.6 (he perception that postmenopa)sal .omen are in si!nificant .ays 4like men6 can also be fo)nd else.here in /ndia ,e.!., Clint "DE%0 and in other societies, s)ch as the ;el *.ey ()are! of northeastern Ji!er ,Iasm)ssen "D&E0 and the Bedo)ins of *!ypt ,9b)1L)!hod "D&':"#", "##0. -hen / .o)ld ask why, villa!e .omen .o)ld e7plain that old .omen no lon!er menstr)ate, no lon!er !ive birth, no lon!er have se7, and ,especially if they are )pper1caste .ido.s0 no lon!er eat hot, nonve!etarian ,mis!0 foods. (his makes them contin)ally 4p)re6 ,2uddha0 like men, .ho also do not menstr)ate or !ive birthN and it makes them similar to the dominant deities of +an!aldihi as .ell ,Syamcand and +adan >opal, forms of ;rishna0, for these !ods .ere only served coolin!, ve!etarian foods and .ere, of co)rse, kept in a state of p)rity.?"&@ C)rthermore, it .as partic)larly postmenopa)sal widows .ho .ere described as 4p)re6 and manlike, pres)mably beca)se they .ere cate!orically free from the hot and female activities of se7)ality and .ifehood.?"D@ 9 married older .oman, even if not se7)ally active, .as still a .ife ,sadho", 4.ith h)sband60, after allN and she contin)ed to be associated .ith se7)ality, fertility, and marital relations as lon! as she adorned her body .ith a)spicio)s red vermilion and .ore red1bordered saris, as a proper .ife sho)ld. 9ccordin! to local opinion, the se7)al heat and desire ,/m0 of men also .anes in old a!e. B)t as men never have as m)ch se7)al heat and desire as .omen in the first place, their transformation to.ard increasin! ase7)ality is not as dramatic. *. Malentine Baniel ,"D&$:"'%0 describes a similar perspective offered by a resident of (amil Jad). 9ccordin! to this informant, the se7)al fl)ids ,intiriam0 of a male remain G)alitatively and G)antitatively the same thro)!ho)t life. 9 .oman, in contrast, prod)ces vastly more se7)al fl)ids than a man thro)!ho)t most of her life, b)t abo)t ten to t.elve years follo.in! menopa)se she be!ins to prod)ce only the smaller amo)nt that a man does. =o)n! and older .omen alike in +an!aldihi spoke of the process of stoppin! menstr)ation and becomin! more like a man as a positive one. /n the United States, menopa)se is pop)larly conceived as a lar!ely ne!ative e7perience that si!nifies an irreversible process of female a!in!, .ith its loss of yo)th, bea)ty, and se7)ality, and is accompanied by painf)l 4symptoms6 s)ch as hot flashes and diseases s)ch as osteoporosis ,e.!., Lock "D&2, "DD#N *. +artin "D&E0. -hen / asked .omen in +an!aldihi .hat they tho)!ht abo)t the end of menstr)ation, ho.ever, they almost )niformly replied that it .as a !ood thin! ,see also S. Mat)k "DD2:"'#O'$0. Ceasin! to menstr)ate meant bein! free from the hassles of monthly bleedin! and imp)rity, bein! able to travel ,.itho)t fear of ca)sin! an embarrassin! mess on a b)s or train0, bein! able to !o on lon!er pil!rima!es ,.itho)t fear of brin!in! menstr)al imp)rities before the deities0, and bein! able to cook for temple and ho)sehold !ods .henever one liked8all practices ,villa!e .omen noted0 available to men thro)!ho)t their lives.?20@ By the be!innin! of this phase, most .omen also felt that they had had eno)!h children ,e7cept those .ido.ed at a yo)n! a!e and not remarried, .ho co)ld not e7pect to bear children any.ay0N so loss of fertility .as not e7perienced .ith re!ret. 9 fe. .omen .ho had not yet stopped menstr)atin! even complained to me, 4-hy do my periods keep comin!5 +y time for stoppin! has come.6 9s .omen e7perienced menopa)se and a relative closin! and coolin!, they also made chan!es in ho. they dressed and adorned their bodies. 9s / mentioned in chapter $, men and .omen both tended to

.ear more .hite and dress more simply as they entered old a!e. B)t the transformation in modes of dress .as most strikin! for .omen. Crom .earin! mostly red and other bri!ht colors and adornin! their bodies .ith 2e.elry, hair ribbons, and perf)me in their yo)n! and ne.ly married years, .omen in +an!aldihi in their later years took to .earin! mainly the cool color of .hite and relinG)ishin! bodily adornments. <lder non.ido.ed .omen co)ld still .ear saris .ith red1colored borders, and they contin)ed to .ear marria!e ban!les and red vermilion in the parts of their hairN b)t as their children married, they also increasin!ly .ore saris that .ere predominantly .hite, as a si!n of their older and postreprod)ctive stat)s. +ost also !ave )p other forms of adornment, claimin! that it .as no lon!er appropriate or necessary for them to hi!hli!ht their physical attractiveness. (hey th)s avoided .earin! fancy silk, polyester, and ne.ly starched saris in favor of .orn, simple cotton ones, and they limited any 2e.elry to perhaps a simple everyday chain and small pair of earrin!s. -omen .hose children .ere lar!ely !ro.n and .ho .ere past childbearin! also freG)ently G)it .earin! blo)ses )nder their saris, e7cept .hen !oin! o)t of the nei!hborhood or villa!e. Blo)ses .ere mandatory for yo)n!er .omen to cover their breasts and sho)lders ,and even the sleeveless blo)ses no. pop)lar in /ndia:s cities .ere considered improperly revealin! in +an!aldihi0N b)t older .omen .o)ld say to me that for them, .earin! blo)ses .as an )nnecessary kind of 4dressin! )p6 ,s'no0. <lder .omen be!an to reveal their calves m)ch more, hikin! their saris )p to their knees on hot days and leavin! off their petticoats. ;h)di (hakr)n freG)ently .andered aro)nd the villa!e .ith her breasts and calves entirely e7posed, her .hite sari simply tied aro)nd her .aist ,m)ch as a man .o)ld .ear a dhoti or loin cloth0, and her breasts, .rinkled and lon! from n)rsin! nine children, han!in! do.n almost to her .aist ,see photo!raph " in chapter #0. <lder Brahman .ido.s commonly be!an even to .ear men:s .hite dhotis in place of saris. C)rthermore, .omen co)ld increasin!ly rela7 their veilin! practices as they advanced in seniority, p)llin! saris over their heads only on more formal occasions .hen senior male kin ,.hose n)mbers .ere decreasin!0 .ere present ,see also U. Sharma "DE&:22#0.

=o)n! sisters1in1la. in colorf)l saris: ,$rom le$t0 Ian!a, Chobi, and Savitri, Brahman .omen married to three brothers. +e2o +a, Choto +a, and Boro +a: three Brahman sisters1in1la. and friends dressed in .hite and o)t for a .alk. Coverin! the body red)ces .armth and is a barrier to interactionN decoratin! the body attracts and invites attention. Both actions .ere tho)!ht appropriate in yo)n!er, se7)ally active .omen b)t inappropriate ,as .ell as )nnecessary0 in older, postreprod)ctive .omen. Jakedness, too, .as interpreted in t.o different .ays, dependin! on the life sta!e of the .oman: it .as se7)ally provocative in the yo)n!, and a si!n of ase7)ality in the old. Sylvia Mat)k ,"DD2:"'$O'E0 similarly describes ho. older .omen .ith married children in .estern Uttar Pradesh and Belhi .ear .hite and li!ht1colored clothin! and avoid adornin! their bodies. She finds these practices to be seemin!ly parado7ical social constraints imposed on the se7)ality of older .omen: -hy, if older ,postmenopa)sal and postreprod)ctive0 .omen are tho)!ht to be ase7)al, sho)ld their se7)ality be controlled or constrained by restrictions on dress and physical adornment5 +y interpretation here is some.hat different: the modes of dress of older /ndian .omen do not constit)te a kind of personal or social 4constraint6 on an older .oman:s se7)ality as m)ch as they e7press her relative ase7)ality. 9ltho)!h the cool, .hite, simple clothin! of an older .oman plays a part in transformin! her into an ase7)al person ,and thereby controls any lin!erin! se7)ality that .o)ld be considered inappropriate at this sta!e of life0, it also serves as an inde7 of an ase7)ality that, in

+an!aldihi at least, .as re!arded as occ)rrin! nat)rally. 9s .omen entered postreprod)ctive life phases, they also transformed their !ender by alterin! their spatial movements. 9s already noted, .omen .ere fairly domestic .ith little o)tside .anderin! as postp)bertal )nmarried !irls, and then became very domestic and lar!ely confined to their ho)ses as .ives. B)t as their da)!hters1in1la. be!an to take over domestic .ork, and especially as they became .ido.ed, older .omen spent more and more time o)t of their homes. Bressed in .hite, they roamed thro)!h villa!e lanes visitin! each others: homes, playin! cards, con!re!atin! on the cool floors of temples, and sittin! on the roadsides or by storefronts .atchin! people come and !o. (hey also freG)ented p)blic rit)als, plays, and other events that yo)n!er .ives .ere often too b)sy or confined to attend. (hey traveled beyond +an!aldihi, payin! e7tended visits to married da)!hters: homes and !oin! on pil!rima!es to fara.ay holy places. (hese e7ternal .anderin!s .ere facilitated by the coolin!, closin!, and decreasin! se7)ality of older .omen:s bodies ,.hether nat)ral or imposed0, for they and their families no lon!er fo)nd it necessary to control and constrain their bodies and interactions. /n these .ays, bein! older str)ck me as a very freein!, open, and pleas)rable phase of life for .omen.

O'der Men
+en in +an!aldihi did not )nder!o nearly as marked a transformation in their modes of dress and spatial movements over their livesN nor .ere their se7)ality and bodily nat)res as dramatically transformed. L)st as it .as impossible to tell from his clothin! .hether a man .as married or sin!le ,for men .ore no o)ter si!ns of marria!e, as .omen did0, it .as also impossible to tell .hether a man .as 4senior6 ,"ur!o0. 9ro)nd +an!aldihi, the traditional dress of men at any life sta!e .as a .hite dhoti and %an'"3 ,lon! shirt0 for everyday or more formal .ear, and a colored lungi for cas)al .ear. (his clothin! co)ld be .orn by yo)n!er and older men alike. Cashionable and .ell1ed)cated yo)n!er men often .ore -estern1style slacks and shirts, and it remains to be seen .hether they .ill contin)e .earin! the same kind of clothin! .hen they become senior. +en, moreover, .ere seen to be livin! and movin! relatively 4o)tside6 ,"ire0 thro)!ho)t their lives. <lder men .ho had red)ced their economic responsibilities and had more free time often con!re!ated to!ether in p)blic places, as older .omen did. B)t these older men:s !ro)ps differed little from those of yo)n!er men, .ho also )sed their free time ,.hich for many .as plentif)l, especially d)rin! seasons of a!ric)lt)ral l)ll0 to !ather to!ether in p)blic places. Jonetheless, there .ere s)btle si!ns of distinction bet.een older and yo)n!er men:s dress and spatial domains. <lder men tended to dress more simply, .hile yo)n!er men .ere more preocc)pied .ith lookin! handsome and appearin! in fashion. +an!aldihi:s yo)n!er men tended to oil their hair more freG)ently, to !et ne. hairc)ts that they kept nicely combed, and to .ear shoes and ne.er clothin!. /t .as not )ncommon for a yo)n! man to ask me if he .as lookin! !ood. <lder men, like older .omen, )s)ally .ore more simple, .ell1.orn cotton clothin!, freG)ently .ent .itho)t shoes, and paid less obvio)s attention to their appearance.

9n older Ba!di man cares for a nei!hbor[s child. C)rthermore, as a senior villa!e man became increasin!ly .eak or infirm, he .o)ld spend more and more time in the ho)sehold, sittin! or restin! on a cot in a corner of the co)rtyard or on the veranda, .atchin! the ho)sehold activities, receivin! occasional visitors, and sometimes lookin! after small children. (herefore, as .omen .ere transformed in older a!e to become more like men in their bodily nat)res, spatial movements, and o)ter .anderin!s, men in a .ay became more like .omen8

increasin!ly domestic and confined to the home. People in +an!aldihi clearly )sed the body to define !ender, b)t they did not rely on a male female distinction based on dichotomo)s and fi7ed physiolo!ical differences, as is pres)med in m)ch contemporary feminist theory, .hich takes female physiolo!y, se7)ality, and reprod)ctivity to define 4.oman6 as a cate!ory across time and space ,cf. +oore "DD$:&O2EN Jicholson "DD$N <rtner "DD':"#E0. Iather, the interrelated somatic, social, and political identities of !ender8e7pressed and e7perienced via bodily re!)lations, spatial movements, dress, and perceived physiolo!ical processes8 chan!ed in profo)nd .ays over the life co)rse. (hese chan!es made .omen ,especially by late life0 in some .ays 4like men,6 and men in some ,tho)!h less ackno.led!ed0 .ays like .omen. H H H

Women+ Ma&a+ and Aging

9s .omen:s bodies )nder.ent important chan!es as they a!ed, .hat abo)t the ties of their maya5 Bid the relative openness of .omen thro)!ho)t m)ch of their lives mean, for instance, that .omen, compared to men, .ere more connected to others, more ent.ined in a net of maya5 Jot e7actly. 9t least, no one offered me precisely this e7planation, tho)!h .omen in +an!aldihi perhaps even more than men did val)e cro.ded to!etherness, seekin! to .ork to!ether, bathe to!ether, and eat to!ether, as +ar!aret (ra.ick ,"DD0b:E#0 also fo)nd amon! the .omen she kne. in (amil Jad).?2"@ (he main difference bet.een .omen and men .ith re!ard to maya .as that .omen:s ties .ere )nmade and remade at a !reater n)mber of critical 2)nct)res in their lives, not only thro)!h a!in! and dyin!, b)t also in marria!e and .ido.hood. (he most important connections of males .ere made only once and tended to end)re thro)!ho)t and beyond their lifetimes, .hile those of females .ere repeatedly altered 8first made, then )nmade and remade, then often )nmade once more. /n the dominant patrilineal disco)rse of +an!aldihi, .omen .ere said to be capable of s)ch chan!es beca)se their bodies .ere nat)rally more open than men:s. (he same traits of openness and permeability that made yo)n! .omen v)lnerable to imp)rity and se7)al violations co)ld also be vie.ed as makin! .omen .ell1s)ited to marital e7chan!e. 9ccordin! to one piece of proverbial .isdom, a .oman .o)ld fare best if she .ere malleable like clay, to be cast into a shape of his choice by the potter ,her h)sband0, discardin! earlier loyalties, attrib)tes, and ties to become absorbed into her h)sband:s family ,cf. B)be "D&&:"&0. (he positions of boys and !irls in their natal families .ere differentiated from infancy and childhood. /nfants of both se7es .ere initially connected .ith their kin and villa!e by a ceremony to mark the first feedin! of rice ,anna%r2ana0. B)t male children .ere distin!)ished by the !reater scale and elaboration of that ceremony, and amon! the )pper castes by several other s)bseG)ent life cycle ceremonies of 4markin!6 or 4refinin!6 ,sam!s/ra0 ,Lamb "DD#:#$&O'#0. 9mon! Brahmans, marria!e th)s mi!ht be the ei!hth connection1makin! ceremony for a boy, b)t only the second for a !irl. B)rin! each of the male child:s sam!s/ras, the family .o)ld perform a nnd3mu/h, a rit)al offerin! to the ancestors meant to introd)ce and formally connect the boy to his patrilinea!e. -hile the boy .as commonly identified as a !ro.in! node of the patrilinea!e ,"am!2a0, meant to e7tend the patriline into f)t)re !enerations, a !irl .as often spoken of as a mere temporary so2o)rner a.aitin! her depart)re in marria!e. (h)s, she .o)ld have no ancestor1connectin! nnd3mu/h performed for her in infancy or childhoodN only at her marria!e .ere the ancestors asked for their partin! blessin!s. Sayin!s, n)rsery rhymes, and everyday conversations conveyed to a da)!hter the )nmistakable messa!e that her stay in her parental home .as short. / heard +an!aldihi !irls at times sin!in! li!htheartedly a pop)lar Ben!ali l)llaby that str)ck me as painf)lly affectin!:

Iock1a1bye baby, combs in yo)r pretty hair (he bride!room .ill come soon and take yo) a.ay (he dr)ms beat lo)dly, (he shehnai is playin! softly 9 stran!er:s son has come to fetch me Come my playmates, come .ith o)r toys Let )s play, for / shall never play a!ain -hen / !o off to the stran!er:s ho)se.?22@ 9 phrase / .o)ld often hear .as 49 da)!hter is nothin! at all. =o) 2)st raise them for a fe. days, and then to others yo) !ive them a.ay.6 People spoke of da)!hters as 4belon!in! not to )s b)t to others.6 (he yo)n! !irl .ho .orked for me, Beli, said to me once: 4/f yo):re !oin! to have children, yo) sho)ldn:t have a da)!hter. =o) have to !ive a da)!hter a.ay to an other:s ho)se ,%arer ghar0.6 *7pressions from other re!ions of /ndia convey similar sentiments: 4Brin!in! )p a da)!hter is like .aterin! a plant in another:s co)rtyard,6 !oes a (el)!) sayin! ,B)be "D&&:"20 heard also in Uttar Pradesh ,Leffery, Leffery, and Lyon "D&D:2#0. >irls in ;an!ra, north.est /ndia, hear that a da)!hter is a bird 4.ho after eatin! the seeds set o)t, .ill fly,6 or a 4!)est .ho .ill soon depart6 ,Jarayan "D&':'D0. S)ch sentiments do not imply that !irls .ere )nloved or )n.anted. /n fact, parents in +an!aldihi wanted to keep their da)!htersN they 2)st co)ldn:t. (hey seemed to love and cherish their da)!hters .ith an added intensity and poi!nancy in anticipation of their pendin! depart)re.?2#@ +en in +an!aldihi, in contrast, )s)ally resided8save perhaps for brief periods of .ork in other cities 8.ithin the same comm)nity and on the same soil .here they .ere born. (his is .hy, some men said, it is so diffic)lt for them to loosen their ties of maya at the end of a lifetime, for they have become so deeply embedded .ithin a family, comm)nity, home, soil. 9mon! the several families / kne. .ho had settled in Calc)tta apartments after fleein! *ast Pakistan ,no. Ban!ladesh0 at the time of partition, men spoke of havin! been forced painf)lly to c)t apart the ties of their maya premat)rely, as a .oman does in marria!eN they vie.ed the years follo.in! independence and partition as very 4separate,6 4independent,6 and maya1red)cin! times. Cor !irls in +an!aldihi, it .as thro)!h marria!e that they became most marked and that the ties of their personhood .ere s)bstantially )nmade and remade. (hro)!ho)t the three1day .eddin!, the bride .o)ld be made to absorb s)bstances ori!inatin! from her h)sband:s body and ho)sehold. She r)bbed her body .ith t)rmeric paste .ith .hich he had first been anointed, she ate leftover food from his plate, she absorbed his se7)al fl)ids, she moved to his place of residence, and there she min!led .ith his kin and mi7ed .ith the s)bstances of his soil. (he bride:s s)rname and patrilineal membership ,"am!2a0 .o)ld also be formally chan!ed to those of her h)sband. /n this .ay, her marria!e .as !enerally interpreted as obsc)rin! and !reatly red)cin!, altho)!h not obliteratin!, the connections she once en2oyed .ith her natal home. She .o)ld no lon!er refer to persons of her natal family as her 4o.n people6 ,ni'er lo/0 b)t rather as her h)sband did8as her 4relatives by marria!e6 ,/ut!um"0N for she .as said to have become by marria!e the 4half body6 ,ardhngin30 of her h)sband ,see also /nden and Jicholas "DEE:#DO%"N Sa7 "DD":EEO&#0. Cor a !irl, then, preparin! to marry .as in some .ays like a first confrontation .ith mortality. (he yo)n! brides .ho spoke to me anticipated the pain of c)ttin! so many ties .ith their natal families, homes, and friends .ith dread, not comprehendin! ho. they .o)ld ever s)rvive s)ch an ordeal. (hese conversations .ere similar to those / had .ith older people abo)t the separations at death. B)rin! the months precedin! her .eddin!, my companion 3ena .o)ld say to me thro)!h tears, 4=o)r father !ives yo) a.ay. 3e makes yo) other. 3e .ipes o)t the relation.6 She .o)ld also p)rposef)lly pick G)arrels .ith me in order, she said, 4to c)t the maya6 a bit before her act)al depart)re.

+any analyses of 3ind) marria!e have lon! stressed that a bride:s transfer to her marital kin is a complete break.?2$@ +ore recently, ho.ever, anthropolo!ical st)dies of kinship and !ender in /ndia have pointed to evidence of a .oman:s contin)in! ties to natal kin. -illiam Sa7 ,"DD":EEO"2'0 and >loria Iahe2a and 9nn >old ,"DD$:E#O"200, for instance, ar!)e that many .ritin! on /ndian social str)ct)re have for too lon! overemphasiAed the vie. of marria!e as a complete transformation of a .oman ,an ar!)ment often !ro)nded lar!ely in te7t)al analyses0, overlookin! other perspectives that stress that a .oman:s ties .ith her natal kin and place can never be entirely effaced ,see also B)be "D&&:"&N Lacobson "DEEN Iahe2a "DD%0. /n +an!aldihi, too, .omen and men both a!reed that ho.ever ne!lected, violated, or ab)sed their earlier ties mi!ht be after marria!e, a connection does remain forever bet.een a married da)!hter and her natal kin. L)st as maya cannot be s)ddenly and completely c)t in a!in! and dyin! ,see chapters $ and %0, neither can the 4p)ll6 ,t!n0 of maya, 4of blood,6 or 4of the .omb6 bet.een a !irl and her natal home be .iped o)t entirely thro)!h marria!e. Some of the rit)als of marria!e even served to affirm a departin! bride:s natal ties. +arria!e .as the only time ,save once a!ain, fo)r days after her parents died0 .hen a !irl:s nnd3mu/h, rit)al offerin! to her maternal and paternal ancestors, .as performed in her name. <n the day before her .eddin!, too, a bride .o)ld eat rice that she had collected )ncooked from t.enty1five nei!hborhood ho)ses, to affirm her m)t)al ties .ith other villa!e .omen even as she prepared to depart. 9 married .oman:s practices after the .eddin! .ere also cr)cial. 9ccordin! to +an!aldihians, the e7tent to .hich a married .oman .o)ld be able to s)stain val)able ties .ith the people of her father:s home depended lar!ely on the amo)nt of contact she s)cceeded in maintainin! .ith them, thro)!h visitin! and !ift !ivin!. B)rin! the first fe. years of marria!e, yo)n! brides .o)ld often spend .eeks or even months at their fathers: homes, ret)rnin! ea!erly .henever natal kin came to call for them. +arried .omen commonly ret)rned to their natal homes for the birth of their first child and on special rit)al occasions, .hen married da)!hters and sisters .ere s)mmonedN these incl)ded the lar!est ann)al Ben!ali festival, B)r!a P)2a ,.orship of the !oddess B)r!a d)rin! her ann)al visit to her father:s home0N Lamai Sasthi ,day for honorin! a married da)!hter:s or sister:s h)sband0N and Bhai Phota ,day on .hich married and )nmarried sisters honor their brothers0. +ost married .omen th)s had t.o ho)ses they co)ld call home8their "%er"r!i ,father:s ho)se0 and their 2&a2ur"r!i ,father1in1la.:s ho)se0. +aintainin! these ties depended on ne!otiation as .ell as l)ck ,her natal family:s interest in her, the s)pportiveness of her in1la.s in allo.in! her to leave, the distance bet.een the t.o homes, the financial reso)rces reG)ired for travel and !ift !ivin!0. 9 married .oman co)ld not decide to visit her natal family on her o.nN she had to .ait for someone from her father:s ho)se to come call for her. -omen, tho)!h, sometimes sent letters or messa!es to their father:s homes, askin! to be called for. Some secretly sto.ed a.ay chan!e or an e7tra petticoat to !ive to their mothers .hen visitin!. -e see here that to )nderstand .omen:s positions .ithin families .e m)st take into acco)nt not only patrilineal linea!e, or "am!2a, b)t also maya, affection. Bam!2a is one thin! ,)nmarried !irls are in their fathers: "am!2asN married .omen in their h)sbands:0N b)t maya can be somethin! different8ima!ed in terms of 4love,6 ties of the 4.omb6 and of 4milk,6 !ifts !iven, and time spent. +aya here can even be tho)!ht of as offerin! an alternative disco)rse to that of patrilineal kinship. 9 married .oman:s persistin! connections of maya .ith her natal kin not.ithstandin!, +an!aldihi villa!ers still stressed the transience of a .oman:s relations .ith her natal home. +others and .ives emphasiAed this fleetin!ness at least as m)ch as fathers and h)sbands did. +ost mothers had kno.n s)ch separations from personal e7perience, and at each visit after marria!e ,.hether their o.n or others:0 they mi!ht relive their earlier feelin!s. +ost said that they felt al.ays the pain of havin! the ties of their !irlhood and family belittled or i!nored in their h)sbands: homes. (hey spoke of the early

years of marria!e as a very v)lnerable time, .hen they felt )nattached, alone, lonely, homesick, even afraid. Choto +a told me, 4/ sobbed and sobbed after my .eddin!. / co)ldn:t stand to be a.ay from my father.6 (he 4.oman:s point of vie.6 .as not simply that the ties of a .oman to her natal home co)ld not be effaced, as Sa7 ,"DD":&#0 s)!!ests, b)t rather that these ties .ere often !rad)ally and painf)lly i!nored and atten)ated, even violated. -omen even more than men .ere ac)tely a.are of .omen:s ten)o)s relation to families and places8beca)se they .ere the ones .ho most directly e7perienced the pain of havin! their natal s)bstance deval)ed. B)t as a .oman lived in her marital home for many years, bore and raised children there, bro)!ht in da)!hters1in1la. for her sons, e7perienced the births of !randchildren, and made friends amon! the other villa!e .ives, her ties !rad)ally came to be more and more like a man:s, deeply embedded .ithin one ho)sehold and place. +ost older .omen told me that even their lin!erin! connections .ith their natal homes slo.ly faded, as they visited less and formed stron!er ties in their marital homes ,cf. Lacobson "DEE:2E'OEE0. /n tellin! her o.n life story, Choto +a spoke of ho. a .oman event)ally 4c)ts the Plink:6 .ith her parents. 4Cirst she:ll cry a lot,6 she said, 4as / did. / sobbed and sobbed after my .eddin!.FB)t slo.ly yo) visit less, yo) cry less. 9nd no., in old a!e, there is hardly any more connection .ith my father:s ho)se.6 9 .oman:s marital home .o)ld !rad)ally become8in both her o.n eyes and those of others8no lon!er simply a 2&a2ur "r!i, or 4father1in1la.:s ho)se,6 b)t her home. By old a!e, many .omen for the first time had !ained a sense of an end)rin! emotional and s)bstantial connectedness to one home, a sense of a ri!htf)l place there, and a concomitant de!ree of po.er and a)thority over others. /n these .ays8as in ho. the nat)re of their a!in! bodies .as perceived8older .omen:s e7periences and identities became, in si!nificant respects, like men:s. -e have observed in this chapter ho. perceptions and e7periences s)rro)ndin! !ender .ere comple7, fl)ct)atin!, and m)ltifaceted. +an!aldihi .omen:s and men:s e7periences of !ender over the life co)rse make it clear that it .o)ld be hi!hly misleadin! to think here of men and .omen, maleness and femaleness ,and p)rity and poll)tion, po.er and po.erlessness0 as static and neatly opposin! cate!ories. (his important point has been made by other recent feminist theorists. Sherry <rtner ,"DD':""'O#&0 looks, for instance, at the intersections of #lass and !ender in Sherpa society, ar!)in! that 4analysis foc)sed thro)!h a polariAed male female distinction may prod)ce distortions at least as problematic as those .hich i!nore .omen and !ender in the first place,6 by maskin! the kinds of str)ct)ral disadvanta!es that certain #ategories of men share .ith many .omen ,p. "#20. Chandra +ohanty ,"DD"0 similarly e7amines the problems ,inherent in m)ch -estern feminist disco)rse0 in positin! a )niversal cate!ory of 4.omen6 and ass)min! a !eneraliAed notion of their s)bordination. S)ch an analytical move problematically 4limits the definition of the female s)b2ect to !ender identity, completely bypassin! social class and ethnic identities6 and the specificities of history, nation, and conte7t ,p. '$0.?2%@ Lookin! at age can like.ise !ive o)r analyses of !ender a val)able m)ltidimensionality and specificity. +an!aldihi .omen:s e7periences of their bodies and se7)ality, of e7pected forms of discipline and control, and of their positionin! .ithin families all shifted in profo)nd .ays over their lifetimes. 4-omen6 .ere th)s constr)cted in a variety of social and political conte7ts that e7isted sim)ltaneo)sly, altered .ith time, and .ere overlaid on top of one another. Lookin! at a!e in these .ays fr)itf)lly trains o)r !aAe on fl)7, m)ltivocality, and contradiction and provides insi!ht into the comple7ities, ambi!)ities, and many dimensions of .hat it is to be a .oman, and a man.

Notes
". +ar!lin ,"DD'0 also demonstrates that the si!nificance of menstr)ation does not lie solely in its imp)rity ,see also +ar!lin and +ishra "DD#N +ar!lin and Simon "DD$0. See f)rther disc)ssion later in

this chapter. 2. Cor more detailed disc)ssions of practices s)rro)ndin! menstr)ation in So)th 9sia, see Bennett "D&#:2"%O"&N Leslie "D&D:2&#O&$N +ar!lin "D&%c:'#, "DD':"%DOE#N +ar!lin and +ishra "DD#N +ar!lin and Simon "DD$N and (hompson "D&%:E02O$. #. 9s / e7plained in chapter % ,and as B. +ines "DD0 disc)sses0, a2uddha and a2au# are reco!niAed by Ben!alis and other /ndians as distinct conditions, altho)!h both terms are conventionally !lossed by /ndolo!ists as 4imp)re.6 A2uddha refers to the kinds of everyday imp)rities foc)sed on in this chapter, stemmin! from contact .ith feces, )n.ashed clothin!, slept1in beds, lo.1caste people, non13ind)s, menstr)al blood, afterbirth, corpses, etc.8mostly havin! to do .ith e7cessive, messy, or inappropriate mi7in!s. A2au# refers instead to a specific rit)al period of .hat / have termed 4separation imp)rity6 that family members e7perience after a birth or death ,see chapter %0. Cor more on the str)ct)ral similarity of death and birth imp)rity, see Bas "D&2:"2&N /nden and Jicholas "DEE:"02OEN B. +ines "DD0N and Jicholas "D&&. $. 3ind)s in +an!aldihi commonly )se the e7ample of 4to)chin! a +)slim6 to describe ho. people become imp)re ,a2uddha0. 9ltho)!h +an!aldihi is a predominantly 3ind) villa!e, it is s)rro)nded by smaller +)slim villa!es, and the 3ind)s there are especially concerned .ith preservin! their separateness. %. 9s in *n!lish, the Ben!ali term for 4man6 ,mnus!F can refer either to males in partic)lar or to h)mankind in !eneral. '. Cor other acco)nts of female ,compared to male0 se7)ality in So)th 9sia, see Leffery, Leffery, and Lyon "D&D:2$O2%N +ar!lin "D&%c:%&, +c>ilvray "D&2:#"N and S. Mat)k "DD2:"'0. E. Cor similar perspectives on male se7)ality, see Bottero "DD"N Carstairs "D'EN Leffery, Leffery, and Lyon "D&D:2$N +aloney, 9AiA, and Sarker "D&":"#$O$0N and +c>ilvray "D&2. &. Samanta ,"DD20 provides a rich, in1depth disc)ssion of the a)spicio)sness of se7)ality, fertility, and the color red for Ben!ali married .omen ,sumangal3 0. D. Cor vie.s of the 4seed6 and 4land6 theory of procreation, and its implications for ad)ltery, see *. M. Baniel "D&$:"'#OE0N Boni!er ?<:Claherty@ "DD$N Cr)AAetti "D&2:"2"N Cr)AAetti and <stor "D&$N /nden and Jicholas "DEE:%2N and +aloney, 9AiA, and Sarker "D&". "0. Cor a n)anced interpretation of the )se of veils in Ia2asthan, see Iahe2a and >old:s disc)ssion ,"DD$:$EO%20 of the ima!ery of .raps in local .omen:s son!s, .here they enhance and s)btly reveal a .oman:s charms, rather than simply c)ttin! off male !aAes. "". /n some parts of Ben!al, .omen m)st keep their hair unbo)nd ,/hol0 d)rin! menstr)ation ,Ialph Jicholas, personal letter, 2D 9)!)st "D&D0. (his practice, like bindin! the hair, may also reflect the open nat)re of menstr)atin! .omenN b)t it appears to si!nify that state rather than bind or control it. "2. <n p)rdah, see Lacobson "D&2N +ehta "D&"N Papanek and +ina)lt "D&2N and Iahe2a and >old "DD$:$EO%2, "'&O&". "#. Cor e7amples of scholarship portrayin! acceptance of the dan!ero)sness of female se7)ality, see Bennett "D&#N Leffery, Leffery, and Lyon "D&DN and ;akar "DD0:"EO20. Cor critiG)es of these kinds of ethno!raphic representations, see Iahe2a and >old "DD$:DO"$ and passim. "$. <n strate!ic s)bmission, see also Bo)rdie) "DEE:"'$O'%, and Iahe2a and >old "DD$:"", 77iii, 77i7. "%. <f co)rse, my primary reasons for !oin! on the pil!rima!e .ere not spirit)al, so her reasonin! mi!ht not absolve me. B)t, / told myself, / .as not allo.ed into the inner part of most of the temples in any case, beca)se of my non13ind) stat)s. So / also had my o.n .ays of rationaliAin! my

menstr)atin! presence. "'. Cor recent .ork on the si!nificance of menopa)se in vario)s c)lt)res, see Beyene "D&DN Lock "D&2, "D&'a, "D&'b, "DD#N and *. +artin "D&E:2EO%#, "''OE&. Cor other .ork on menopa)se and So)th 9sian .omen, see Cohen "DD&:20&ODN d) (oit "DD0N Clint "DE%N >eor!e "D&&N and M. Sharma and Sa7ena "D&". "E. Upper1caste .ido.s in this re!ion, like +e2o +a herself, avoided eatin! 4hot6 ,garam0, nonve!etarian ,mis!0 foods ,see chapter E0. "&. /n +an!aldihi, the dominant deities8forms of ;rishna8.ere ve!etarian. Some of the other favorite deities in +an!aldihi and the s)rro)ndin! re!ion, ho.ever, s)ch as the !oddesses ;ali and B)r!a, .ere notN they .ere periodically served sacrificial !oat meat. "D. See chapter E and Lamb "DDD for more on the ambi!)ities of 4p)rity6 for Ben!ali .ido.s. 9ltho)!h many Ben!alis seem to consider .ido.s to be s)fferin! from a perpet)al state of death imp)rity ,a2au#0, this condition is G)ite distinct from that of bein! v)lnerable to the kinds of e&eryday imp)rities ,2uddha08stemmin! from menstr)ation, defecation, se7)al fl)ids, saliva, etc.8that pla!)e many other .omen:s lives. <lder hi!h1caste .ido.s may, then, be distinctly 2uddha ,one sense of p)rity0, at the same time that they s)ffer from a2au# ,specifically death imp)rity0. (he conf)sion stems from /ndolo!ists: tendencies to )se the same *n!lish term, 4imp)rity,6 to refer to both conditions. 20. Creeman ,"D&00 also e7plores ho. postmenopa)sal married .omen are more fit and able rit)al performers than premenopa)sal .omen in P)ri ,eastern /ndia0, beca)se of their increased p)rity and freedom from ho)sehold responsibilities. +ar!lin ,"D&%c:%$, %DO'00 notes that postmenopa)sal widows are the only female temple attendants she has seen in P)ri. 2". Ceminist theorists s)ch as Jancy Chodoro. ,"DE&0 and Carol >illi!an ,"D&20 have challen!ed the adeG)acy of models of the a)tonomo)s individ)al to e7plain .omen:s e7periences ,in the United States, at least0, ar!)in! that 9merican .omen:s self1conceptions tend to foc)s more on connectedness to others than do men:s. B)t s)ch a contrast does not hold for Ben!alis. 9s .e have seen, "oth men and .omen in +an!aldihi defined themselves stron!ly in terms of their relations .ith others. >old, .ho e7plores compellin! h)man attachments and ill)sions of maya thro)!h the tales of a Ia2asthani bard, similarly observes: 4-omen loom lar!e in +adh) Jath:s stories as embodiments of ill)sion, or love, or intimacy, or bonda!e. B)t if .omen are in certain .ays paradi!matic embodiments of ill)sion:s net, they do not have e7cl)sive dominion over attachment6 ,"DD2:#2#0. 22. (his translation comes from B)be ,"D&&:"#0. 9 shehnai ,sni0 is a kind of .ooden .ind instr)ment. 2#. See my disc)ssion in chapter 2 of the da)!hter:s departin! rit)al of !ivin! her mother mo)se:s earth. 2$. Cor e7amples of those ar!)in! for a complete split at marria!e, see >o)!h "D%':&$"O$2N /nden and Jicholas "DEEN 9. +ayer "D'0:"'"N <renstein "DE0:"#''N and (ra)tmann "D&":2D". 2%. See also 9lma >ottlieb:s critiG)e of the classic d)alistic analo!y8male : female :: p)re : poll)tin!N she ar!)es that 4a !iven society may contain a more m)ltilayered )nderstandin! of !ender relations than a sin!le model .o)ld allo.6 ,"D&D:''0.

D2 A Widow7s -onds
/t:s better not to !et married at all than to be a .ido.. /t:s better not to !et married at all. /f yo) never marry, then at least yo) have the people from yo)r father:s ho)se.

3o. many kinds of pain .e s)ffer if o)r h)sband doesn:t live in o)r ho)seS L)st one pain5 Jo. Pain in all directions. B)rnin! painN a!ony. Clothes, food, mi7in! .ith others, la)!hter, all of that ends. -ido.hood .as the last phase of life for most .omen in +an!aldihi. (he older .omen .hose lives / have described over the previo)s pa!es8;h)di (hakr)n, Bho!i Ba!di, Choto +a, +e2o +a8.ere mostly in this sta!e. (hey had almost e7pected to spend part of their lives as .ido.s, since !irls .ere yo)n!er than their h)sbands at marria!e, !enerally o)tlived them, and )s)ally did not remarry. -ido.hood .as also a dreaded time of life. Bependin! on her caste and a!e at .ido.hood, a .oman co)ld e7pect to face any n)mber of hardships. 3er economic condition mi!ht be precario)s. She mi!ht be forced to !ro. old childless, .ith no one to care for her. She mi!ht e7perience the .renchin! emotional pain of losin! a loved spo)se. She mi!ht be considered by others to be dan!ero)sly ina)spicio)s. 9nd, especially if a Brahman, she .o)ld be pressed by her kin to .ear .hite clothin!N avoid all 4hot,6 nonve!etarian foodsN eat rice only once a day ,an amo)nt that left her almost fastin!0N avoid bodily adornmentsN and live in lifelon! celibacy. Until recently, many Brahman families also reG)ired their .ido.s to shave their head ,a practice some of the most senior +an!aldihi .ido.s still observed0 and to sleep on the !ro)nd. /n contrast, a man .ho lost his .ife .as not e7pected to observe any special practices and .as )s)ally enco)ra!ed to remarry. /f not already senior and retired, he !enerally did. (h)s in +an!aldihi, in "DD0 o)t of ##% ho)seholds there .ere only thirteen )nremarried .ido.ed men, b)t si7ty1nine )nremarried .ido.ed .omen. / take a look, in this final s)bstantive chapter, at .ido.hood8both as an important dimension of .omen:s e7periences of old a!e and as an ill)minatin! means of contin)in! to e7plore local !ender constr)ctions. 3o. .ere .omen defined, perceived, and controlled8by themselves, and by others8 .hen they .ere left .itho)t a h)sband5 -hat do these perceptions and practices of .ido.hood tell )s, )ltimately, abo)t !ender5 H H H

-e(oming a Widow
-hen a h)sband died in +an!aldihi, his .ife .as taken by other .ido.s of her ho)sehold or nei!hborhood to a pond .here she .o)ld perform the rit)al to make her into a .ido. or "idho", literally 4.itho)t a h)sband.6 +arried .omen and )nmarried !irls .ere forbidden to .atch the hi!hly ina)spicio)s ceremony ,lest it ca)se their o.n f)t)re .ido.hood0, so / describe the rit)al here based only on .hat several .ido.s reported to me.?"@ +any still sh)ddered, thinkin! of that horrible day. Cirst, the bereaved .oman removed her marria!e ban!les of conch shell, iron, and red %al, broke them, and thre. them into the pond. (hey .ere said to have 4!one cold6 ,t!hn!d!0. 9 married .oman .hose ban!les accidentally broke .o)ld replace them immediately, lest the broken and cold state of the ban!les lead to her h)sband:s misfort)ne or death. 9 married .oman never left her .rists bareN a .ido.:s arms remained empty. (he .ido. then .iped the red vermilion or sindHr from her forehead and from the part in her hair. She had .orn these marks as symbols of her married state since her h)sband had first placed them on her at their .eddin!. -ith vermilion the h)sband had symbolically activated his .ife:s se7)al and reprod)ctive capacities, and these capacities .ere s)pposed to be lost .ith her h)sband:s death. /f she .as .earin! red lt on her feet, she .ashed it off. (he .oman ne7t entered the .ater for the 4.ido.:s bath6 ,"idho"r snn0, .earin! for the last time one of the bri!ht1colored saris she had .orn as a married .oman. -hen she emer!ed from the .ater

she removed the colored sari to don a ne. .hite or s)bd)ed one. (his sari .as, .hen possible, s)pplied by the .ido.:s mother:s brother or some other male from her natal home, as a reminder of her natal attachments. Crom then on, the .ido. .o)ld avoid .earin! red, the color of a)spicio)sness, .armth, se7)ality, fertility, and married .omen. Brahman .ido.s: saris ,and those of some lo.er1 caste .ido.s .ho chose to em)late Brahmans0 .ere almost entirely .hite, thinly bordered .ith dark colors s)ch as deep bl)e, black, or !reen. -ido.s co)ld also .ear men:s .hite dhotis. 9s / have previo)sly noted, .hite .as re!arded as a 4cool6 ,t!hn!d!0 color, symbolic of infertility, ase7)ality, asceticism, old a!e, .ido.hood, and death. 9 final act in the makin! of a .ido. )sed to be the shavin! of the head. /n the past, hi!h1caste .ido.s had their heads shaved not 2)st once b)t bi.eekly for the rest of their lives.?2@ /t )sed to be said that if a .ido.:s hair .as allo.ed to !ro. and be tied )p in a braid, it .o)ld bind the deceased h)sband:s spirit to her and to the places of his previo)s life. +an!aldihians also vie.ed head shavin! as an act of ren)nciation and of severin! ties. =o)n! .ido.s no. rarely follo. this rit)al, b)t there .ere several older Brahman .ido.s of +an!aldihi, incl)din! ;h)di (hakr)n, .ho contin)ed to shave the .hite hair from their heads every t.o .eeks as a si!n of their .ido.hood.?#@ 9fter completin! their .ido.1makin! rit)als, +an!aldihi .ido.s took several different paths dependin! on their caste and life sta!e. Cor Brahmans, .ido. remarria!e .as absol)tely forbidden, even if the .ido. .as a yo)n! child .ho had never lived .ith her h)sband.?$@ Cor all the other caste !ro)ps of +an!aldihi, altho)!h a .oman co)ld ordinarily !o thro)!h a tr)e marria!e ceremony ,"iye0 b)t once, .ido.s co)ld be remated ,)s)ally to a .ido.ed man0 by a simpler rit)al called 42oinin!6 ,sng /ar0, .hich effectively made them h)sband and .ife. 3o.ever, it .as !enerally only .omen .ido.ed at G)ite a yo)n! a!e and .ho .ere still childless .ho chose to do so. -ido.s .ith children feared either that they .o)ld have to leave their children behind .ith their in1la.s or that their children .o)ld not be treated .ell in their ne. h)sband:s home ,see also Chen and BreAe "DD2:"&O"D0.?%@ Some also e7pressed a rel)ctance to relinG)ish any ri!hts they mi!ht have to their deceased h)sband:s property, felt that they had borne eno)!h children or .ere no lon!er of a marria!eable a!e, or had a sense that .ido. remarria!e .as improper or embarrassin! not only for Brahmans b)t for their caste as .ell. -ido. remarria!e in +an!aldihi, amon! any caste, .as th)s relatively rare.?'@ -ido. remarria!e in /ndia m)st also be p)t into historical conte7t. 9ltho)!h the British implemented the -ido. Iemarria!e 9ct in "&%', thereby officially le!aliAin! the practice, this bill had the ,pres)mably0 )nintended conseG)ence of red)cin! .ido.s: ri!hts amon! the lo.er castes, .hich had al.ays condoned .ido. remarria!e. (he ne. act bro)!ht .ith it le!al restrictions re!ardin! the disposal of the .ido.:s property and children on her remarria!e: these .ere to remain .ithin her deceased h)sband:s patrilinea!e. +any .ido.ed .omen, no. facin! a choice bet.een marryin! a!ain and keepin! their children and property, refrained from remarria!e. (h)s the economic interest of the hi!h castes in not allo.in! .ido.s to remarry .as firmly protected by the act, and even le!ally e7tended across caste lines.?E@ (hose in +an!aldihi .ho remained .ido.ed had several different options ,sometimes none partic)larly desirable0 as to .here they co)ld reside. +ost .ido.s, especially if they had children, remained in their former h)sbands: or in1la.s: homes and contin)ed to find )sef)l .ork there8carin! for children, performin! ho)sehold chores, .orkin! in the fields, and so on. /f a .ido. had sons .ho .ere !ro.n and married, her ri!htf)l place )nG)estionably contin)ed to be .ith them even after her h)sband had passed a.ay.?&@ Childless .ido.s, or .ido.s .ith very yo)n! children, often ret)rned to their natal homes. /f not .anted or comfortable in either natal or marital home, then some .ido.s set )p a separate ho)sehold, )s)ally ad2oinin! that of natal or marital kin. <thers moved a.ayN north /ndian pil!rima!e spots s)ch as Jabad.ip, Maranasi, and Brindaban, as .ell as Calc)tta:s old a!e homes, are cro.ded .ith .ido.s .ho feel they have no real family ties.

/n -est Ben!al, a .ido. ,as lon! as she does not remarry0 is le!ally entitled to inherit a proportion of her h)sband:s property, to be divided amon! herself and her sons.?D@ /n practice, tho)!h, fe. .ido.s 8especially amon! the )pper castes, .ho as a r)le had the most property at stake8act)ally maintained land in their o.n names. (hey either formally or informally passed control of property to their sons, if the sons .ere !ro.n, or left it in the hands of their fathers1in1la., if the .ido. and her children .ere yo)n!. 9 fe. .ido.s .ho .o)ld have liked to have kept their land told me that altho)!h they kne. they .ere le!ally entitled to it, .ho .o)ld !o to the co)rts to fi!ht5 /n lo.er1caste comm)nities in +an!aldihi, .here the !eneral sense that .omen needed to be protected by men .as less stron!, some .ido.s did mana!e to maintain control over property or a ho)se. B)t often not m)ch more than a tiny plot of land .as at stake. (h)s in +an!aldihi in "DD0, there .ere no Brahman .ido.ed heads of ho)sehold, b)t a total of fifteen amon! several other middle and lo.er castes ,Ba!di, Baisnab, ;ora, ;)l), and +)ci0. <nly t.o of these fifteen, ho.ever, .ere able to s)pport themselves .ith income from their landN the others had to .ork as daily laborers.?"0@ 9fter bein! .ido.ed, Brahman .omen had to be!in performin! the restrictive set of .ido.:s observances ,"idho"r %lan0 listed above, .hich incl)de avoidin! 4hot,6 nonve!etarian foods ,meat, fish, e!!s, onions, !arlic, and certain kinds of d!0N eatin! rice only once a day ,s)bstit)tin! at other times 4dry,6 2u/na, foods s)ch as mur!i, parched rice, or rut!i, flat bread0N fastin! on the eleventh day of the l)nar month ,e/da230N .earin! .hiteN and !ivin! )p 2e.elry. Beca)se of these dietary restrictions, a Brahman .ido.:s food had )s)ally to be cooked separately from that of other ho)sehold members. /f ve!etarian food so m)ch as to)ched nonve!etarian food, the .ido. co)ld not eat it. (herefore, Brahman .ido.s often kept a separate cookin! fire and set of )tensils for preparin! their o.n food. 9t feasts, Brahman .ido.s .o)ld eat to!ether off to the side or in a corner. (here .as considerable variation amon! the non1Brahman castes in +an!aldihi as to ho. many, if any, of these restrictions their .ido.s follo.ed. +ost all of the non1Brahmans said that their .ido.s did not ha&e to observe them, b)t several lo.er1caste ,incl)din! Bar)i, ;)l), and S)ri0 .ido.s / kne. said that they #hose to .ear .hite and avoid meat, fish, and e!!s beca)se they felt it .as 4proper6 for .ido.s to do so, or beca)se, after their h)sbands died, they had no more 4taste,6 4need,6 or 4desire6 for meat and bri!htly colored clothin!. 9fter all, Brahmans .ere the dominant caste in the villa!e, in terms of not only n)mbers, property, and .ealth b)t also, in some respects, moral codes. <ne .ay that members of lo.er castes strove to raise the rankin! of their caste as a .hole ,or their o.n personal or family stat)s0 .as to em)late the practices of Brahmans, a strate!y that some scholars have labeled 4SanskritiAation6 ,e.!., Srinivas "D%2N Sin!er "DE20. 9cross caste lines in +an!aldihi, as thro)!ho)t north /ndia, .ido.s .ere considered to be ina)spicio)s and th)s had to refrain from participatin! in a)spicio)s life cycle rit)als s)ch as marria!e. -ido.s co)ld attend and .atch s)ch ceremonies, b)t they co)ld not perform any of the rit)alsN nor co)ld they to)ch the bride or !room, or cook and serve food. Contrary to .hat Lina Cr)AAetti finds in the Mishn)p)r re!ion of -est Ben!al ,"D&2:"0'0, .ido.ed mothers in +an!aldihi co)ld not even participate in their o.n da)!hters: .eddin!s. / .itnessed several .omen become .ido.s over my stay in +an!aldihi and collected the stories of many others .ho vividly remembered the e7perience. *nterin! .ido.hood is painf)l and tra)matic for most .omen, .ho sim)ltaneo)sly lose their h)sbands and are transformed into other, alien bein!s. Before movin! on to analyAe these transformations, / .ill relate the bitter story of ho. one Brahman .oman of +an!aldihi8;ayera Bo), or 4the .ife from ;ayera68became a .ido. many years a!o. ;ayera Bo) and her h)sband had been married for abo)t fifteen years, ever since she .as si7teen and her h)sband nineteen, b)t they had prod)ced no children to!ether. 3er h)sband had been ill .ith diabetes ,4s)!ar60 for several years before he died, and she stayed by his side constantly n)rsin! him. She told me that her head had become 4hot6 ,garam0, or mentally )nstable, beca)se of .orry abo)t her

h)sband:s health and her childlessness. So her father came one day to take her a.ay for a .hile to a mental health sanatori)m in Ianchi, several ho)rs a.ay by train. 3er h)sband died .hile she .as a.ay. / G)ote len!thy e7cerpts from the story she told me to preserve the po.er of her o.n .ords in describin! her tra)matic transformation into a .ido.: 9nd so / came home t.o months later ?from Ianchi@. / came .earin! sindHr,lt, everythin!. / had asked for it all to be p)t on, and they all lovin!ly p)t it on me for the 2o)rney. / didn:t then have any !ood bracelets for my arms, so / said to my brother .ho had come to !et me, 4+y h)sband:s harm ,a/alyn!0 .ill happen. Brin! me some bracelets.6 / p)t on the bracelets, .itho)t kno.in! that / .o)ld immediately have to take them off a!ain and break them. <)r bracelets break ?.hen .e become .ido.s@. -e can:t .ear bracelets any more. -hen yo) !et married, yo) have iron bracelets p)t on yo). 9nd sindHr ,vermilion in the part of the hair0. (hese are o)r si!ns of marria!e. Both of these !o a.ay. (hese are both the h)sband:s thin!s, and both of these !o a.ay. Cor life. So / came home ?to my father:s ho)se@.?""@ /t .as ni!ht .hen / arrived. +y father made me some 2r"at ,s)!ar .ater0 to drink. B)t my mother didn:t come, beca)se she kne. she .o)ld start to cry. / asked .here she .as, and my father said that she .as comin!. (hey .ere keepin! her a.ay beca)se she .as cryin! so hard. +y father didn:t .ant to let me kno. ri!ht a.ay. 3e said, 4Let her rest a bit.6 9nd / .as .earin! sindHr and ltJ 9nd .hat a fair comple7ion / had !ained in IanchiS (hen my mother sho.ed )p .eepin!. / didn:t )nderstand anythin!. 9nd then .hat .e have to do ?the .ido.:s rit)al@ .as done. <)r maidservant took me to the .ater8my mother co)ldn:t !o. (hose .hose h)sbands are still alive can:t .atch the /hol8%ar ,.ido.:s rit)al0.?"2@ +y mother .anted to take me, b)t no one .o)ld let her beca)se my father .as still alive. So o)r maidservant, .ho .as a .ido., took me to the .ater. / had to take off all of those thin!s and be bathed. 9nd .hen / )nderstood .hat .as happenin!, / be!an to sob. / beat my head and cried all ni!ht lon!. / had to be taken to the .ater, take off all of those thin!s and thro. them a.ay, and be bathed. (hen .here .as the lt9 9nd .here .ere the ornaments5 9nd !ood clothes5 -here .as anythin!5 <ne after another they .ere all s)nk in the .ater. *verythin! became s)rro)nded .ith !loom ,/li0. -hen he left, everythin! became !loom. Sadness. -hen yo) didn:t !et any letters from yo)r h)sband for a lon! time ?she said to me@, / co)ld )nderstand ho. a.f)l yo) m)st feel. 9 h)sband is s)ch a thin!. / abandoned everythin! else, and my ea!erness .as for one person only. / .as comin! back from Ianchi .ith s)ch hope and e7pectation. / sobbed and sobbed thinkin! of all the hope / had come from Ianchi .ith, e7pectin! that / .o)ld see him a!ain.F 9nd then they said / .o)ldn:t be able to eat all that any more. 9t ni!ht they be!an to take o)t some mur!i ,parched rice0 to feed me. +y mother .as sayin!, 4/ .on:t be able to !ive her mur!i. 3o. can / !ive her mur!i and eat rice myself56 B)t my father told her that she .o)ld have to. +y mother said, 4JoS / .on:t be able to. /:m !oin! to feed her rice. Society ,sam'0S Let society happen ?i.e., let people talk@S She:s my child. /:m !oin! to feed her. (hen later .hatever happens .ill happen.6 B)t o)t of embarrassment ,la''e0 in front of everyone, she .asn:t able to feed me ?rice@. People .o)ld have seen and said to her, 4<h, yo):re feedin! her ri#e9 6 Perhaps my h)sband:s sister ?.ho .as married into that villa!e@ .o)ld see and say, 4=o):re feedin! her this9 6 and then she .o)ld !o aro)nd slanderin! )s and tellin! everyone that my mother .as feedin! me. (hat:s the fa)lt ,dos!0 of Ben!alis, isn:t it5 (hey !o aro)nd talkin! abo)t

.ho:s feedin! .hom .hat. -hile at the same time my mother .as sayin!, 4She:s never eaten mur!i in her .hole life. / can:t !ive her mur!i no. to che.. She:ll never be able to eat mur!i. 6 Mur!i at ni!ht, and ve!etarian rice ,nirmis! "ht0 in the day. 3o. many kinds of pain .e s)ffer if o)r h)sband doesn:t live in o)r ho)seS L)st one pain5 Jo. Pain in all directions. B)rnin! painN a!ony. Clothes, food, mi7in! .ith others, la)!hter, all of that ends. /f / 2)st la)!h .ith someone5 (hen others say, 4LookS She:s la)!hin! .ith him. 9nd her h)sband is dead. ChiS ChiS6 9nd they be!in to talk. +y h)sband:s relatives .o)ld say all those kinds of thin!s. (hey .o)ld reproach me. (hey .o)ld say, 4Jone of that .ill happen in o)r ho)se. =o):ve come to o)r ho)se. =o) .on:t talk to any man.6 / lived in fear of them all. / .o)ldn:t talk to anyone. +y health .as still !ood at that time. (hey tho)!ht maybe / .o)ld t)rn my mind to.ard someone and become infat)ated, thro)!h mi7in!. (hey .o)ld tell me not to look at anyone else. (hat there .as no one like one:s o.n h)sband. (hat even to look at another man .as bad. <)r .omen have to live caref)lly like that. L)st like )nmarried .omen live caref)lly, so m)st .ido.s live caref)lly. 9n )nmarried !irl:s parents m)st look after her caref)lly as lon! as she:s )nmarried, and so m)st a .ido.:s mother1in1la. look after the .ido. .hen her h)sband dies. 9 .ido. m)st live in fear of her mother1in1la.. *verythin! for )s is forbidden. <)r food !oes, o)r clothin! !oes, everythin!. Becorations, po.der, all that. B)t if / p)t on a little po.der, .hat .ill happen5 Let them say .hat they .ill. (hey can:t reproach me. / didn:t do anythin! )n2)st ,anye0. (hen .hy can:t / f)lfill a little fancy like that5 9nd .hat if / .ant to .ear a !ood, colored sari5 B)t / can:t .ear oneN it .on:t happen. / heard many other stories like this one d)rin! my time in +an!aldihi. <ne .oman told of ho. she .as married at a!e t.o8as )sed to be common earlier in the cent)ry8and .ido.ed at a!e ei!ht, passin! the rest of her life as a .ido.. -hy do .ido.s perform this ri!oro)s set of practices that set them apart from other married .omen and from their o.n former selves5 -hat do these practices reveal abo)t the .ays in .hich .omen, as .ives and then as .ido.s, .ere constit)ted as persons in +an!aldihi5 (he remainder of this chapter is devoted to ans.erin! these G)estions. H H H

Se3)a'it& and S'ander+ 5e%otion and 5estr)(tion

-ido.s and their families in +an!aldihi presented vario)s e7planations of .hy .ido.s may choose, and their families may press them, to observe these ri!ors of .ido.hood. (heir reasonin! spoke to notions abo)t female se7)ality, the importance of honor or a 4name,6 and the comple7 bodily and moral relationship bet.een a .oman and her h)sband.

Contro''ing Se3)a'it&
(he most common rationale as to .hy .ido.s .ere pressed to eat ve!etarian diets and rice only once a day, to fast on the eleventh day of the l)nar month, to .ear .hite, and to forsake bodily adornments .as that these .ere defensive meas)res aimed at controllin! a .ido.:s se7)ality. (he .ido.:s diet .as said ,by men and .omen, .ido.s and non.ido.s0 to 4red)ce se7)al desire ,/m0,6 to 4decrease blood ,ra/ta0,6 to make the body 4cool ,t!hn!d!0,6 to make the .ido. 4thin and )!ly,6 to keep her from 4.antin! any man.6 Sadanda:s +a, a senior Brahman .ido., e7plained artic)lately: 4(hese eatin! r)les .ere ori!inally desi!ned to prevent yo)n! .ido.s: bodies from becomin! hot ,garam0 and so r)inin! their character ,s&a"h"0 and dharma ,social1moral order0. Castin! is not for either %% ,sin0 or

%un!ya ,merit0. Boin! it doesn:t prod)ce %un!ya, nor does not doin! it make %%. /t is simply to .eaken the body.6 9 !ro)p of Brahman co1.ives ,or sisters1in1la.0 e7pressed similar ideas, a!reein! that a .ido. follo.s the observances 4to make her thin and )!ly, and to red)ce her se7)al desire ,/m0, since she cannot remarry.6 ,(heir senior .ido.ed mother1in1la. listenin! to )s inter2ected: 4/t:s very diffic)lt. /t:s better to die than do all of that.60 Bho!i Ba!di commented, 4/f a .ido. .ears a !ood colored sari, everyone .ill come to make love to her.6 Iecall that dominant disco)rses .ithin +an!aldihi presented .omen as havin! more se7)al heat and desire than men. (his se7)al heat co)ld be partic)larly problematic for a .ido., beca)se ,as people p)t it0 her se7)ality had been activated and opened thro)!h marria!e b)t .as no. no lon!er controlled by a h)sband. -ido.s also had no acceptable .ay of dissipatin! the heat of their pent1)p se7)al desire. Several villa!ers commented that .omen .ho are acc)stomed to havin! se7)al relations and s)ddenly cease have the most se7)al desire of all. +any therefore felt that yo)n! .ido.s constantly threatened to become promisc)o)s, in2)rin! their o.n honor and that of their families and contaminatin! their bodies and ho)seholds .ith the se7)al fl)ids of other men. /n fact, the local prostit)tes .hile / .as in +an!aldihi were .ido.s: one Brahman .oman ,.ho had act)ally been e7pelled by her family from the villa!e and .orked in a nearby to.n0, one Ba!di .oman, and one +)ci .oman. (hey .ere sometimes called rUi, a slan! term ,fo)nd in many north /ndian lan!)a!es0 translatable as 4sl)t6 and )sed to refer both to prostit)tes and to .ido.s.?"#@ (he do)ble meanin! of this term speaks not only to the fact that .ido.s .ere often considered dan!ero)sly promisc)o)s b)t also to their precario)s economic position. Some yo)n! .ido.s, .ho are s)pported by neither their natal nor marital families, feel compelled to become prostit)tes to s)rvive.?"$@ (he Ba!di and +)ci .ido.1prostit)tes .ere both yo)n! .omen .ho had ret)rned to +an!aldihi to live .ith their mothers ,both of .hom .ere, incidentally, also .ido.s0. Prostit)te .ido.s fared better in their natal comm)nities than in their marital villa!es. ,/n fact, / never heard of a prostit)te .orkin! from her marital comm)nity.0 Beca)se a .oman, once married, is no lon!er a real part of her natal family line, her actions do not affect her natal family as m)ch as they .o)ld her h)sband:s family. 3er natal family may also be more lovin! and )nderstandin! of the problems she faces. (he +)ci .oman had a small childN perhaps that is .hy she had not remarried. (he Ba!di .oman, Pratima, .as childless and ordinarily .o)ld have remarried, b)t her only close natal kin .ere a landless .ido.ed mother and a yo)n! brother, neither of .hom seemed to have had the means to arran!e a second marria!e for her. (he Brahman .ido.1prostit)te, Chobi, .as a childless da)!hter from one of the most presti!io)s families of +an!aldihi, b)t her family members had broken off all relations .ith her many years earlier and .o)ld not even mention her name to me .hen !ivin! me their family:s !enealo!ical information. -hen / ended )p meetin! her, she told me that she preferred her life as a prostit)te in to.n to the life she .o)ld have had in the villa!e as a lifelon! Brahman .ido.. Milla!ers cited the perceived dan!ers of .omen formerly married b)t no. not matched .ith men in e7plainin! .hy .ido.s m)st ri!oro)sly discipline their bodies. *atin! a ve!etarian diet free of all hot ,garam0 foods8e!!s, fish, meat, onions, !arlic, heatin! forms of d!l8co)nteracts a .ido.:s pent1)p se7)al heat to help keep her free from illicit se7)al liaisons. 9 diet of cool foods .as like.ise recommended for those men, s)ch as sannys3s or sdhus ,ascetics0, .ho had chosen to be celibate. Similarly, people told me, a .ido. m)st only eat rice once a day so that her body .ill become increasin!ly dry ,2u/na0 and .eak ,dur"al0, processes that f)rther red)ce her se7)al ener!y, c)rb her capacities to transact .ith others, and make her thinner and less attractive to men. Bressed in a plain .hite sari, bare of ornaments, thin from contin)al fastin!, and perhaps also disfi!)red by cropped hair, a .ido. .as s)pposed to become an ase7)al and )nattractive .oman. Cor yo)n!er .ido.s, s)ch coolin! and desiccatin! of their bodies .as tantamo)nt to premat)re a!in!. 9ltho)!h no one vol)nteered this comparison to me, .hen / tried it o)t on them most seemed to find it

pers)asive. -ido.s, like older people, .ore .hite, .ere e7pected to cease se7)al activity, and e7perienced the coolin! and dryin! of their bodies. (he difference .as that older people performed these practices more or less .illin!ly, aimin! to loosen their ties of maya and cool their bodies and selves in preparation for dyin! ,see chapter $0. (he practices .ere vie.ed as in keepin! .ith the nat)ral chan!es takin! place .ithin their bodies and families d)rin! the 4senior6 or 4!ro.n6 life phase. Cor yo)n!er .ido.s, tho)!h, the fetters of .ido.hood served to transform them socially, before the time nat)rally determined by physiolo!y, into old .omen. Several commented to me that older, postmenopa)sal .ido.s act)ally .o)ld not ha&e to observe the .ido.:s restrictive code if they did not .ish to, beca)se their bodies .ere nat)rally cool and dry d)e to a!eN b)t most senior Brahman .ido.s, at least, observed these practices any.ay, o)t of 4habit6 or aversion to bein! criticiAed by others.

rote(ting a :Name;
Probably the second most common reason / .as !iven as to .hy .ido.s felt compelled to observe the .ido.:s re!)lations .as their .ish to avoid slander and to protect the honor or 4name6 ,nm0 of themselves and their families. -hen disc)ssin! .ith me .hy .ido.s do not remarry, a !ro)p of Brahman .omen chimed to!ether, 4Beca)se a ho)sehold has a rep)tation, a respect, does it not5 People .o)ld say, P(hese people:s da)!hter or da)!hter1in1la. !ot married t.ice5S 3er h)sband has already died once, and she:s !ettin! married a!ain5S:6 (he .omen added that .ido.s do have affairsN altho)!h an affair is 4even .orse6 than remarryin! ,from the perspective of dharma, or morality0, it can take place privately. (here is more slander ,nind0 from a p)blic remarria!e, so that is .hy .ido.s do not remarry. -hen, as .e sa. above, ;ayera Bo):s mother made the painf)l decision to feed her o.n ne.ly .ido.ed da)!hter dried mur!i rather than boiled rice, it .as fear of slander, not a conviction of the moral necessity of the practice, that drove her: 4+y mother .as sayin!, P/ .on:t be able to !ive her mur!i. 3o. can / !ive her mur!i and eat rice myself:5 B)t my father told her that she .o)ld have to. +y mother said, 4JoS / .on:t be able to.FSocietyS Let society happenS She:s my child.FB)t o)t of embarrassment in front of everyone, she .asn:t able to feed me ?rice@. People .o)ld have seen and said to her, P<h, yo):re feedin! her ri#e9:F(hat:s the fa)lt of Ben!alis, isn:t it5 (hey !o aro)nd talkin! abo)t .ho:s feedin! .hom .hat.6 / asked (hak)rma, a senior S)ri .ido., 4-hat .o)ld happen if yo) .ore a red sari56 (hak)rma and her nei!hbor Bandana ans.ered to!ether, 4People .o)ld slanderS ,Go/e nind /or"eJ0.6 / contin)ed, 4Jo harm .o)ld happen to yo)r h)sband56 Bandana la)!hed a little and replied, 4Jo, nothin! at all .ill happen to him. 6 (hak)rma a!reed: 4-here is my h)sband:s harm5 3e:s !one.6 Bandana .ent on: 4Jothin! at all .o)ld happen to him. 3e didn:t even forbid her to .ear colored saris after he diedN he said nothin! like that. /t:s 2)st that in o)r co)ntry, if .ido.s .ear colored saris, they .ill be slandered ,nind ha"e0, they .ill feel embarrassed ,la'' ha"e0.6 -ido.s motivated by a concern for their o.n, and their families:, rep)tations did not necessarily internaliAe the ideolo!ies of a .ido.:s dan!ero)s se7)ality .hen choosin! to accept the terms of .ido.hoodN they rather .ished to avoid dishonorin! themselves and their kin. ;ayera Bo):s .ords reflected 2)st s)ch a stance: 4B)t if / p)t on a little po.der, .hat .ill happen5 Let them say .hat they .ill. (hey can:t reproach me. / didn:t do anythin! )n2)st. (hen .hy can:t / f)lfill a little fancy like that5 9nd .hat if / .ant to .ear a !ood, colored sari5 B)t / can:t .ear oneN it .on:t happen.6 -ido.s in the re!ion .ho reached old a!e after lon! lives of ascetic .ido.hood often earned a !reat deal of respect for their self1sacrifice and perseverance. -orkin! for that social acceptance and respect, ho.ever ard)o)s to achieve, seemed for most more attractive than havin! to end)re slander, and even ostracism, by openly th.artin! the codes of .ido.hood.

owers o$ 5e%otion
9 third reason some villa!ers !ave for the .ido.:s disciplined lifestyle .as that .ido.s .ere contin)in! to live devoted to their h)sbands. >irls in the re!ion .ere in many .ays raised to think of devotion to a h)sband as one of the hi!hest and most appropriate aims of a .oman:s life. B)rin! her marria!e ceremony, a bride .o)ld speak mantras and take vo.s that .ere to inf)se in her a lifelon! devotion ,"ha/t30 for her h)sband, .ho .as to be to her like a !od or lord. /n fact, t.o of the common Ben!ali terms for 4h)sband68s&m3 and %ati8also mean 4lord6 ,cf. Cr)AAetti "D&2:"#0. <ne ima!e of the virt)o)s .ife fo)nd thro)!ho)t north /ndia is that of a %ati&rata, literally 4she .ho takes a vo. ,&rat0 of devotion to her h)sband ,%ati0.6 +arried .omen in +an!aldihi did e7pend a !ood deal of daily effort servin! their h)sbands8cookin!, feedin! them, s)pplyin! .ater, and so forth. (hey applied vermilion to their hair, .ore married .omen:s ban!les, and performed .omen:s rit)als ,meyeder &rata08all practices aimed to.ard protectin! the lon!evity and .ell1bein! of their h)sbands. *ven after a h)sband:s death, some told me, a .ido. is able to contin)e to live a life of devotion to him. >)r)saday +)kher2ee lect)red me on several occasions as to the meanin! and p)rpose of the .ido.:s re!ime ,perhaps from G)ite an idealiAed and traditional perspective, since of co)rse he himself .as not a .ido.0: 4*ven these days, even tho)!h many are tellin! .ido.s that they can remarry and eat nonve!etarian foods, they .ill .illin!ly, on their o.n accord, remain as traditional .ido.s, beca)se their minds are foc)sed on their h)sbands.6 Several .ido.s of my acG)aintance e7pressed similar vie.s. Beb):s +a, a senior hi!h1caste ,;ayastha0 .ido. from the nei!hborin! villa!e of Batikar, spoke .ith a serene certainty abo)t the importance of follo.in! the .ido.:s re!ime. / asked, 4-hat .o)ld happen if yo) didn:t do these thin!s56 4/t:s a matter of dharma ,morality, order0,6 she replied, 4 Dharma .o)ld be r)ined.6 4-o)ld yo)r h)sband be harmed56 43)sband56 Beb):s +a la)!hed at first a bit, as if to disa!ree. (hen she .ent on: 49 h)sband is master, lord ,%ati0 and m)st be treated .ith devotion ,"ha/t30. (here is only one h)sband lord ,%ati0 in the .orld. *ven tho)!h he is dead, he is everythin!. (he sons and .ife m)st live thinkin! abo)t him. (hey do this for his blessin! ,23r"d0. (hey do %ran!m to his photo!raph or footprints every day.F9 h)sband is the .oman:s !)r)N he is the hi!hest lord ,%aram%ati0. /f a .ife .orships and serves her h)sband, then no other dharma is necessary.6 <ther .ido.s declared that alon! .ith )pholdin! dharma, they co)ld brin! merit ,%un!ya0 and !ood karma to themselves, their sons, their ho)seholds, and %erha%s their deceased h)sbands, thro)!h faithf)lly observin! the .ido.:s code. Several villa!ers also spoke .ith admiration of those .ho had chosen to become Satis in the past, b)rnin! themselves on their h)sbands: f)neral pyres, and they compared the .ifely devotion of today:s ascetic .ido.s to that of a Sati ,.hich literally means a 4!ood .oman60.?"%@ (he pop)lar myths told by villa!ers abo)t Beh)la, a .oman .ho floats do.n the river of death .ith the corpse of her h)sband in her lap, and abo)t Savitri, .ho .ins her dead h)sband back from =amara2, the !od of death, portray .omen .ho !ain incredible, a)spicio)s po.ers by remainin! devoted to their h)sbands even after death. Both of these ill)strative tales are .ell .orth retellin! here. +arried .omen and !irls in +an!aldihi !athered once a year to perform the story of Savitri and pay homa!e to her on the fo)rteenth day after the f)ll moon in the hot s)mmer month of Lyaistha. /n doin! so they both promoted the .ell1bein! and lon! lives of h)sbands and !ained edification in .ifely devotion. <n the occasion / attended, a Brahman .ife recited the story to abo)t t.enty1five other .omen, readin! freG)ently from the paperback pamphlet Meyeder Trata/ath ,n.d., ed. >. Bhattachar2ya:'2O''0. (he follo.in! is an abbreviated translation of the tale:?"'@ (here .as a kin! named 9svapati .ho r)led a land called +adra. 3e had a da)!hter, born to him by the !race of the !oddess Savitri, .hom he named Savitri. -hen it .as time for her to marry, the kin! searched in all directions for a .orthy !room, b)t to no avail. Cinally, Savitri decided to !o o)t herself to search for a h)sband, takin! several companions .ith

her. (hey traveled to many places and event)ally came )pon an ashram in a forest .here an old blind man named By)matsen lived .ith his son and blind .ife. By)matsen had been kin! of a nearby kin!dom, b)t had lost it to enemies. -hen Savitri sa. this man:s son, Satyaban, she vo.ed that only he .o)ld be her h)sband. Savitri ret)rned to her father to tell him of her decision, and the kin! asked a !reat seer .hat he kne. of Savitri:s chosen spo)se. (he seer said omino)sly, 4Savitri:s marria!e .ith Satyaban cannot happen. Cor .ithin a year after he is married, Satyaban .ill die.6 (he kin! 9svapati became very distra)!ht and tried to diss)ade his da)!hter from marryin! Satyaban. B)t Savitri .as )n.averin! in her resolve, sayin!, 4Cather, he .hom / have accepted in my mind as my lord and h)sband / cannot forsake. / .ill not be able to marry anyone b)t him.6 9nd seein! her firm resolve, the kin! and the seer both a!reed that the marria!e sho)ld take place. So Savitri .as married to Satyaban. Savitri .ent to live in the ashram of her father1in1la., and be!an immediately to serve her blind old parents1in1la. .ith m)ch devotion. Savitri soon became beloved to them all. B)t she herself .as st)n! every ni!ht by the memory of the .ords the seer had told her abo)t the f)t)re. She co)nted every day from the .eddin! )ntil there .ere only three days left before the end of the year. <n that day, Satyaban .as plannin! to set o)t for the forest to brin! back some .ood and fr)it. Savitri pleaded .ith her mother1in1la. to let her accompany him, and after finally receivin! permission, she departed into the .oods .ith her h)sband. Soon Satyaban:s head be!an to ache sharply and he lay do.n .ith his head on Savitri:s lap. 3e became still .ith pain and then lost conscio)sness. 9s Savitri .atched, his life slo.ly left his body. *venin! .as comin! on, b)t Savitri .as not afraid. She took her h)sband:s body into her lap and sat there. Presently =amara2, the !od of death, arrived and said to Savitri, 4=o)r h)sband has died. / have come here to take a.ay his spirit ,%rn!0. >o no. and ret)rn to yo)r home to do his f)neral rites for him properly.6 Sayin! this, =amara2 took Satyaban:s spirit o)t from his body and be!an .alkin! a.ay. B)t Savitri be!an to follo. ri!ht after =amara2. =amara2 t)rned to ask, 4Bear, .here are yo) !oin!56 Savitri ans.ered, 4>od, .herever yo) take my h)sband, there / .ill !o,6 and she be!an to plead .ith him to !ive her h)sband:s life back. =amara2 .as impressed .ith Savitri:s Sati1like?"E@ devotion to her h)sband, and said to her, 4SatiS 9side from the boon of !rantin! Satyaban:s life, / .ill !ive yo) any three boons that yo) desire.6 So Savitri first asked that si!ht be restored to both of her parents1in1la.. Je7t she asked that her father1in1la. re!ain r)le over his kin!dom. 9nd finally she asked that her o.n father, .ho .as sonless, be !iven one h)ndred sons. =amara2 !ranted each of these boons, b)t still Savitri did not !ive )p follo.in! him. So finally =amara2 t)rned to her and said, 4/ .ill !ive yo) one more boon, other than the life of yo)r h)sband, and then yo) .ill absol)tely have to leave.6 (his time Savitri asked that she herself, .ith Satyaban:s semen, .o)ld be the mother of one h)ndred sons. -itho)t thinkin!, =amara2 assented, and told her no. finally to !o on her .ay. B)t Savitri responded, 4>od, ho. can / !ive birth to a h)ndred sons if yo) do not !ive my h)sband:s life back to me56 =amara2 realiAed that he had lost in the !ame of .its ,"uddhir /hel0 .ith Savitri, and he .as compelled to restore Satyaban:s life. /n this .ay, Savitri, actin! as a Sati, !ave her parents1in1la. back their si!ht, her father1in1

la. back his kin!dom, her father a h)ndred sons, and her h)sband his life. (he Ben!ali myth of Beh)la in the Manasa Mangal similarly tells of ho. a .ife:s self1sacrificin! devotion brin!s her h)sband back even from death. +an!aldihi villa!ers kne. this story .ell and told it to ill)strate the po.ers of .ifely devotion, as .ell as the merits of .orshipin! +anasa, the !oddess of snakes. (he follo.in! is an abbreviated reconstr)ction of the Beh)la story as it .as s)n! to me over several lon! sessions by Iabilal I)idas, the blind senior be!!ar of +an!aldihi:s leather.orker ,+)ci0 caste, also kno.n as the m)sician ,Bayen0 caste:?"&@ (here .as a man named Cando .ho had si7 sons and si7 da)!hters1in1la., b)t beca)se he .o)ld not .orship the !oddess +anasa, the !oddess of snakes, she ca)sed each of his sons to die by snakebite one by one. (he da)!hters1in1la. th)s t)rned one by one into .ido.s, and soon there .as no lon!er any red lt on the feet of the ho)se:s da)!hters1in1la., no 2in!lin! of ornaments, and no colorf)l saris. (he ho)se .as f)ll of mo)rnin! and !loom. (hen a seventh son, named Lakhai, .as born to Cando. -hen Lakhai reached the a!e for marria!e, Cando sent o)t his servants to locate a s)itable bride. (he !irl Beh)la .as chosen. B)t the !oddess +anasa, still an!ry, visited Lakhai before the marria!e, dressed as an old Brahman .oman, and c)rsed him, declarin! that he .o)ld die on his .eddin! ni!ht. Lakhai:s father Cando .as afraid and ordered blacksmiths to b)ild an iron chamber, so ti!htly fitted that not even an ant or a breath of .ind co)ld enter it. (his is .here Lakhai and Beh)la .o)ld sleep on their .eddin! ni!ht. +anasa became an!ry, and she fri!htened the blacksmith into leavin! a crack so that a snake co)ld enter the .all of the chamber. So the .eddin! happened .ith m)ch pomp, and on the .eddin! ni!ht Lakhai and Beh)la retired to!ether to the iron chamber. Beh)la prepared to .ait )p all ni!ht lon! to !)ard her h)sband. B)t even as she sat a.ake, a snake cra.led thro)!h the crack and fatally bit Lakhai on the heel. 3is body .as placed on a raft to float do.n the river,?"D@ and altho)!h everyone pleaded .ith Beh)la to stay, she .o)ld not leave his side. She headed do.n the river to.ard the land of the !ods. 9lon! the .ay she enco)ntered animals h)n!ry for her h)sband:s body and men h)n!ry for se7)al favors from her. B)t for si7 months Beh)la .arded off all of these dan!ers and persisted in her 2o)rney. Cinally Beh)la, .ith her h)sband:s corpse still beside her, reached the place .here the river meets the land of the !ods. She .ent to Siva and told him her story, implorin! him to restore her h)sband to life. Siva sent for the !oddess +anasa and they made an a!reement. +anasa .o)ld restore Beh)la:s h)sband:s life, alon! .ith the lives of his si7 brothers. /n e7chan!e, Beh)la .o)ld promise that her father1in1la. and the .hole family .o)ld henceforth perform %H's for +anasa. /n this .ay, Beh)la bro)!ht her h)sband back to life, !ave her parents1in1la. back their seven sons, and t)rned her si7 sisters1in1la. once a!ain into married .omen. Beh)la is perhaps the best1kno.n h)man fi!)re in Ben!ali mytholo!y and is considered an e7emplar of .ifely devotion. 3em Bar)a describes her feat: 4a victory for Beh)la:s p)re devotion, con2)!al p)rity and faith that moves mo)ntains. 9s an ideal .ife she is second neither to Sita nor Savitri. Before the p)re chastity and deep devotion of Beh)la, even heavenly po.ers bend and break6 ,"D'%:"'N Gtd. in -. L. Smith "D&0:""E0. 9 h)sband:s death .o)ld appear to p)t an end to a .oman:s .ifely po.ers of devotion and to be evidence of a .oman:s fail)re ,a point / .ill ret)rn to shortly0. B)t there .as also a sense, e7pressed in s)ch pop)lar myths as .ell as in everyday talk, that if a .ido. remained devoted to her h)sband then to some e7tent she co)ld keep her a)spicio)s, life1maintainin! po.ers alive. 3er stat)s as a .ife .as

radically altered, b)t not entirely effaced. By acceptin! the lifestyle of .ido.hood, a .oman contin)ed to define herself and present herself to others as a .ife devoted to her h)sband8thereby partially circ)mventin! the reality of her h)sband:s death.

owers o$ 5estr)(tion
9 fo)rth factor cr)cial to )nderstandin! the position of .ido.s in +an!aldihi is tied to perceptions of a .ido.:s dan!ero)s, destr)ctive potential. /f a virt)o)s, devoted .ife possesses the po.er to n)rt)re and s)stain her h)sband, then somethin! m)st have been .ron! or deficient ,local reasonin! .ent0 in the n)rt)rance provided by any .oman .hose h)sband died.?20@ -ido.s freG)ently told me that they felt it .as their fa)lt that their h)sbands had died8either beca)se of their failin!s as a .ife, or beca)se of some horrendo)s .ron! performed in a previo)s life, or simply beca)se of their o.n personal ill fate ,/a%l,adr!s!t!a0. >)r)saday +)kher2ee !ave me a list of conditions that co)ld be considered the fr)it of sins ,%%er %hal0, .ith .ido.hood at the top of the list, follo.ed by barrenness, the destr)ction of a linea!e ,"am!2a0, blindness, and bein! a co. that has to labor in the fields. Sometimes .ido.s .ere ima!ed as devo)rin! creat)res. >)r)saday +)kher2ee told me that a .ido. .ho does not behave properly becomes a v)lt)re ,2/un0 in her ne7t life, preyin! on the dead flesh of co.s and other lar!e animals. 9 senior ;ayastha .ido., +ita:s +a, .ho had become blind in one eye told me .ith !rief that she sa. herself as a r/shas3, a mytholo!ical female creat)re .ho devo)rs everythin!, incl)din! people. 3er h)sband had died early and then her son1in1la., leavin! both mother and da)!hter .ido.s. She said mo)rnf)lly that she had 4eaten6 these people, and .as fearf)l that she .o)ld ca)se some s)ch disaster a!ain ,cf. +. Bandyopadhyay "DD0:"%00. I)mors .ere spread that Pratima, the yo)n! Ba!di .ido. .ho had become a prostit)te, had poisoned her h)sband. 9nother .ido., Iani ,of the ;ora caste0, told of ho. her h)sband had died 4from diarrhea6 .hen they .ere both still very yo)n!. Soon after, in 2)st one day, her t.o1year1old son sickened and also died. 49fter that,6 she said, 4my parents1in1la. be!an pesterin! me even more. (hey didn:t .ant to see any more of me. (hey called me a poison bride ,"is!/any0. So my brothers came to !et me,6 and she never .ent back. 9 .ido. can also be feared as a devo)rin! .itch, as in (arashankar Bandyopadhyay:s story 4(he -itch6 ,"DD00. (his destr)ctive potential .as the primary reason that .ido.s .ere considered to be so e7ceedin!ly ina)spicio)s ,amangal,a2u"ha0 and .ere peripheraliAed .ithin the family, if not e7pelled. Conversely, a h)sband .hose .ife died .as not vie.ed as c)lpable or dan!ero)s. / asked +e2o +a, .ho had years earlier been married to a man .hose previo)s two .ives had died, if she had been nervo)s abo)t his ina)spicio)sness .hen marryin! him. She stated matter1of1factly ,after admittin! that she had act)ally not been told abo)t his previo)s .ives: deaths before the .eddin!0, 4Jo one blames a man for his .ife:s deathN they only blame .ido.s.6 -omen .ere th)s presented as havin! an a!ency that m)st be caref)lly controlled. (hey co)ld )se their po.ers to s)pport and s)stain others, b)t also to destroy. H H H

Unse%erab'e -onds
(he villa!ers: reasonin! s)mmariAed above points to important facets of .omen:s e7periences of .ido.hood in +an!aldihi and to local constr)ctions of .hat it is to be a .oman. B)t it does not yet entirely e7plain ho. a .oman:s personhood8or the ties makin! )p her self8.ere altered thro)!h the death of her spo)se, and .hy a .oman:s transformation into .ido.hood .as so different from that of a man. (o )nderstand these iss)es it is cr)cial to take into acco)nt the kinds of connections .omen shared .ith

their h)sbands. /t seemed to me that the bodily connections ,sam%ar/a0 and ties of maya bet.een a .oman and her h)sband .ere believed in si!nificant respects to remain, even after his death. -hat necessarily end)red .as not so m)ch the emotional dimensions of maya ,some .ido.s spoke of an on!oin! emotional attachment to their h)sbands, and others did not0 b)t people:s %er#e%tions of a .oman after marria!e: a .oman .o)ld al.ays be defined in terms of her relationship .ith her h)sband, as his 4half body6 ,ardhngin30, even if he died. (h)s the .ido. .as in effect married to a corpse, herself half dead. 9 .ido. in this .ay remained perpet)ally in a state similar to the death imp)rity ,or a2au#0 that other s)rvivin! relatives e7perienced only temporarily. (his comparison bet.een the condition of .ido.s and those s)fferin! death1separation imp)rity first occ)rred to me as / be!an to notice their many correspondences ,table &0. -ido.s and older people share many practices, too, b)t the codes for cond)ct of .ido.s and death1imp)re persons are even more similar. Like a .ido., persons s)fferin! death imp)rity .ere e7pected to remain celibateN avoid 4hot,6 nonve!etarian foodsN limit intake of boiled riceN restrict their sharin! of food .ith othersN and avoid participatin! in a)spicio)s rit)als. +ales s)fferin! from death imp)rity and older, more traditional .ido.s also had their heads shaved. &. Practices of -ido.s and <lder and Beath1/mp)re Persons 'rescri!ed 'ractices 2ido3s 4lder 'eo&le 5eath6I &ure 'ersons Iemain celibate Ieli!io)s orientation -ear .hite ZCoolZ the body 9void ZhotZ foods Limit intake of boiled rice ,bhTt0 Iestrict sharin! food ;eep o)t of a)spicio)s rit)als Shave the head Sleep on the !ro)nd _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _?`@ _?`@ _ _ _ _ 8 8 8 8 8 8 _ 5 _?U@ _ _ _ _ _ _?UU@ _?`@

;*=: 8 a 9bsent. _ a Present. U Performed by chief mo)rner only ,)s)ally the eldest son of the deceased0.` (raditionally prescribed b)t not commonly performed no..UU Performed at the end of the period of death imp)rity and by males only. 9s disc)ssed in chapter %, these practices all red)ced the likelihood that personal properties .o)ld be transferred amon! people. B)rin! the transitional phase of death imp)rity, the s)rvivors limited their interactions, both in order to separate themselves from the deceased person and to avoid infectin! others in the comm)nity .ith their condition. (he aim .as to c)t the lin!erin! bodily emotional connections bet.een the s)rvivors and the deceased, so that the departed spirit as .ell as the s)rvivors co)ld move on to form ne. relationships. Cor other s)rvivors, the practices of death1imp)rity ended .ith the final f)neral rites after ten to thirty days. B)t the incapacity and ina)spicio)s ,a2u"ha0 condition of the .ido. .as permanent, beca)se her p)tatively indissol)ble mer!er .ith him in marria!e appears to have made her the 4half body6 and lifelon! so)l mate of her h)sband. -hen he .as dead, her livin! bodily presence made her not merely a se7)al haAard ,if she .as still yo)n!0 b)t also a rep)lsive anomaly.

<thers, s)ch as Parvati 9thavale ,"D#0:$'O%00, Meena Bas ,"DED:D&0, and Pand)ran! ;ane ,"D'&O E%:2.%D20, have compared the 3ind) .ido.:s practices to those not of death1imp)re persons b)t of the ascetic or sannyasi. Some of my informants, too, s)!!ested that a .ido. is in some .ays like a female ascetic. 3o.ever, this comparison fails to adeG)ately acco)nt for the .ido.:s )n)s)al relationship to death. +anisha Ioy ,"DD2 ?"DE2@:"$'0 s)!!ests in passin! that Ben!ali .ido.s are 4poll)ted,6 b)t she does not specify in .hat .ay. Iecall that those in +an!aldihi did not re!ard .ido.s as 4poll)ted6 or 4imp)re6 in the sense of the everyday imp)rities ,a2uddhat0 that stem from menstr)ation, se7)al interco)rse, saliva, do!1doo, contact .ith lo.er castes, and the like ,see chapter '0. /ndeed, in this re!ard hi!h1caste and older .ido.s especially .ere tho)!ht to be )niG)ely %ure ,2uddha0, beca)se their lifestyles ,celibacy, ve!etarian diets, bein! postmenopa)sal, etc.0 made their bodies contained, cool, p)re, like those of !ods ,t!h/ur0 and men. /. L)lia Leslie:s st)dy of the ei!hteenth1cent)ry Guide to the eligious Status and Duties o$ Women ,Str3dharma%addhati0 by (ryambaka seems to s)pport my assertion, tho)!h, that the .ido.:s condition is similar to that of death imp)rity ,a2au#0. (ryambaka .rites: 4L)st as the body, bereft of life, in that moment becomes imp)re ?a2u#itam!@, so the .oman bereft of her h)sband is al.ays imp)re ?a2u#ih!@,?2"@ even if she has bathed properly. <f all ina)spicio)s thin!s, the .ido. is the most ina)spicio)s6 ,Gtd. in Leslie "D&D:#0#0. (o !rasp the pec)liar relationship of the .ido. to her dead h)sband, .e m)st e7amine once more the nat)re of the Ben!ali marital )nion. 9s already noted, in a Ben!ali marria!e the bride is described as becomin! the 4half body6 or ardhngin3 of her h)sband. Both the h)sband and .ife become 4.hole6 thro)!h this complementary )nion, b)t it is effected by an asymmetrical mer!er in .hich the .oman becomes part of the man6s body and not vice versa ,cf. /nden and Jicholas "DE':$"O%0N Cr)AAetti "D&2:"0#O$0. B)rin! the marria!e rit)al the bride repeatedly absorbs s)bstances ori!inatin! from the !room:s body and ho)sehold, chan!es her last name and linea!e affiliation to match her h)sband, and moves to his place of residence. (hese actions seemed to create an irreversible, indestr)ctible entity made of the h)sband pl)s .ife: the .oman .o)ld be part of her h)sband:s body for life. (he asymmetry !enerally th)s ass)med in the marital relation .as e7treme, for the h)sband .as not considered to be the .ife:s half body and, )nlike her, .as not said to be diminished by his partner:s death. /f she died first, his person remained .hole and free to remarryN the temporary incapacity of death imp)rity for him lasted no lon!er than that of other close s)rvivors. (here .as, in fact, no commonly )sed term to describe a .ido.ed man in +an!aldihi, s)!!estin! that male .ido.hood .as not a hi!hly marked cate!ory.?22@ Consistent .ith this lo!ic, several people told me that even if the .oman dies first, her spirit remains bo)nd to her h)sband and .anders aro)nd near him. (his .o)ld mean, of co)rse, that the s)rvivin! h)sband .as not entirely free after all, beca)se he mi!ht have to contend .ith her spirit. /t .as not )ncommon for a man:s second .ife to keep a photo of his deceased first .ife in the family shrine, for instance, and to anoint it .ith vermilion every day. She thereby placated the first .ife:s spirit and aided the .ell1bein! ,mangal0 of her h)sband and ho)sehold. /n most respects, tho)!h, the .ido.ed man seemed to be G)ite )nhindered. <ne .ay to represent these end)rin! connections of a .ido. .ith her deceased h)sband8in contrast to the relative freedom of the .ido.ed man8is sketched in fi!)re E.

Ci!)re E. (he .ido. and the .ido.ed man. /f people in +an!aldihi vie.ed persons to be constit)ted of net.orks of relations, then .omen .ere in a pec)liar position: their connections .ere made, remade, and )nmade at several critical 2)nct)res over their lives, not only thro)!h a!in! and dyin! b)t also in marria!e and .ido.hood. 9 da)!hter painf)lly atten)ated her ties .ith her natal family and place, so that she co)ld move on to form ne. ties .ithin

her h)sband:s home. (heir families: responses to the deaths of h)sbands often did even more than marria!e to )nmake .omen, mainly thro)!h once a!ain c)rtailin! their interpersonal connections .ith those in their families and comm)nities. (he only tie for a .oman that seemed to be )nambi!)o)sly )nseverable, .ithin the dominant patrilineal disco)rse of +an!aldihi, .as the one she shared .ith her h)sband. (hat bond, .hich defined a .oman:s very bodily s)bstance and identity, co)ld not be c)t by a married .oman, even if her h)sband died. (his lo!ic )nderlay the solitary e7istence end)red by most .omen in +an!aldihi as .ido.s as the last phase of their lives.

Stories o$ Tagore6 Widows Tra**ed between the Li%ing and the 5ead
/ close this chapter by e7aminin! three short stories .ritten by Iabindranath (a!ore aro)nd the t)rn of the cent)ry that po.erf)lly e7pose the oppressiveness of a system that constr)cts .ido.s as trapped bet.een life and death.?2#@ (hese stories .ere not told or mentioned to me by people in +an!aldihi. B)t as / sat readin! them from the serene cotta!e / had rented and sometimes retreated to in nearby Santiniketan, the to.n .here (a!ore had lived and did m)ch of his .ritin!, / co)ld not help bein! str)ck by the eloG)ence and vividness .ith .hich (a!ore portrayed the condition of local .ido.s that / had been str)!!lin! ethno!raphically to discern. (a!ore foc)sed his short stories on the on!oin! social chan!es and lives of ordinary people d)rin! the period of the Ben!al renaissance and the rise of nationalism bet.een the "&&0s and "D20s. 3e often depicts the female condition, and the forces that oppress .omen, .ith partic)lar sensitivity. Cor (a!ore, as ;alpana Bardhan ,"DD0:"$0 .rites, 4the oppressor is )ltimately some aspect of the c)lt)ral ideolo!y and the social sit)ation in .hich both men and .omen find themselves trapped.F(he tra!edy lies in the distortions that their personalities and relationships s)ffer )nder the tyranny of social mores and beliefs.6 (he three stories / look at treat the s)fferin! of .ido.s .ithin s)ch an ideolo!ical system, one that traps them bet.een life and death, barrin! them from normal, f)lfillin! social relationships by makin! them into despised and ina)spicio)s deathlike creat)res. (he first, 4+ahamaya6 ,(a!ore "D2':"$&O%#0, presents the a.f)l, estran!ed life of a .oman .ho becomes a .ido. the day after her .eddin!. (he story opens .ith +ahamaya as a bea)tif)l yo)n! .oman .hose parents, for .hatever reasons, have not yet fo)nd a s)itable !room for her. She is of a ;)lin Brahman family, the hi!hest rank of Brahmans. She falls in love .ith a yo)n! man of the villa!e, Ia2ib, .ho is a Brahman, b)t not a ;)lin Brahman. -hen +ahamaya:s father finds o)t abo)t their love, to protect the rank of the family he immediately arran!es an alternative marria!e for +ahamaya to a ;)lin Brahman man. (his !room is already an old manN he has retired to a h)t by the cremation !ro)nd .here the >an!es flo.s, .aitin! to die. (he .eddin! takes place in the h)t, lit only by the dim !lo. of a cremation fire not far off, and the old man .hispers the .eddin! mantras in a voice filled .ith the pain of his dyin!. +ahamaya becomes a .ido. the day after her .eddin!. /t is decided then that +ahamaya .ill become a sahamr!t, one .ho dies .ith her h)sband. 3er hands and feet are bo)nd, and she is committed to the cremation pyre. (he fire is lit and !reat flames leap o)t. B)t at that moment a h)!e storm comes )pon them, releasin! torrents of rain. 9ll of the people !athered to .atch take shelter in the h)t, the fire !oes o)t, and +ahamaya frees herself. She r)ns first to her father:s homeN findin! no one there, she !oes to Ia2ib. She and Ia2ib determine to leave to!ether. B)t +ahamaya never removes the veil, or ghomt!, of her sari from her face, and she lives distant and estran!ed from Ia2ib: her face has been hideo)sly scarred by the cremation fire. (he thick veil of her sari does more than simply conceal her scarsN it represents the shado. of death and the social attit)des that separate her from others as a .ido..

+ahamaya .as no. in Ia2ib:s ho)se, b)t there .as no happiness in Ia2ib:s life. Bet.een them both .as only the estran!ement ca)sed by +ahamaya:s veil. (hat small veil .as 2)st as everlastin! as death, and yet it ca)sed even more pain than death. Cor the pain of separation in death !rad)ally fades a.ay, b)t behind this veil .ere livin! hopes that stabbed at one every moment of every day. +ahamaya lived behind her veil .ith a deep, silent sorro.. She .as livin! as if overcast by death. Ia2ib himself be!an to feel .ithered and hindered by havin! to live ne7t to this silent and deathlike creat)re in his ho)sehold. 3e had lost the +ahamaya that he had once kno.n and had !ained instead this silent, veiled fi!)re. ,"D2':"%20 (he .ido. is an inherently distressin! fi!)re beca)se she is neither f)lly alive nor dead. Beath is a more complete separation than .ido.hoodN it can be handled and processed thro)!h f)neral rites, and its pain slo.ly fades a.ay. B)t the .ido. is )niG)ely dist)rbin! beca)se she stays .ithin society, an ever1present reminder of .hat co)ld have been. She lives in other people:s ho)seholds b)t is forever separated from them by the c)lt)rally imposed veil of her .ido.hood, th)s e7istin! permanently overshado.ed by death. (he prota!onist of a second story, 4(he Skeleton6 ,(a!ore "D2':'#O'D0, is a child .ido. .ho had died many years earlier. 3er body had been donated to a school, .hich kept her skeleton for classroom st)dy. <ne ni!ht a yo)n! st)dent .as sleepin! in a room ne7t to .here the skeleton .as kept .hen he heard somethin! enter the room. /t .as the spirit of the person from .hom the skeleton had come. She stayed thro)!ho)t the ni!ht to tell the yo)n! man her story. She had been married as a yo)n! child, and after only t.o months of marria!e, her h)sband died and she became a .ido.. 9fter lookin! at many si!ns, her father1in1la. determined that she .as, .itho)t a do)bt, .hat they called a 4poison bride6 ,"is!/any0. 3er parents1in1la. e7pelled the omino)s .ido. from their ho)se and she ret)rned G)ite happily to her parents: home, too yo)n! to )nderstand .hat had happened to her. (here she !re. )p into a bea)tif)l yo)n! .oman. +en )sed to look at her and she at them, and she )sed to dress )p secretly in colorf)l saris .ith bracelets on her arms, ima!inin! men admirin! and caressin! her. (hen a doctor moved into the first floor of their ho)se, and she )sed to en2oy visitin! him for carefree talk abo)t medicines and abo)t ho. to )se poisons to help sick people die. (hen one day she heard that the doctor .as !ettin! married. <n the evenin! of his .eddin!, the !irl slipped some poison from his office into one of his drinksN soon thereafter, as fl)tes played, he left for the bride:s ho)se. She then dressed herself in a silk .eddin! sari, p)t a lar!e streak of red vermilion in the part of her hair, and adorned herself .ith all of the 2e.elry from her chest. She took poison herself and lay do.n on her bed. She hoped that .hen people came to find her they .o)ld see her .ith a smile on her lips as a married .oman. 4B)t .here is that .eddin! ni!ht room5 -here is that bride:s dress56 she asks the listenin! man. 4/ .oke )p to a hollo. rattlin! so)nd inside of me and noticed three yo)n! st)dents )sin! me to learn abo)t bone scienceS /n my chest .here happiness and sadness )sed to throb and .here petals of yo)th )sed to bloom every day, there .as a master pointin! .ith a rod abo)t .hich bones have .hat names. 9nd there .as no si!n of that last smile that / had placed on my lips6 ,(a!ore "D2':'&0. (he story ends here, .hen da.n arrives and the spirit of the skeleton .ido. silently leaves the yo)n! man to himself. (he .ido. in this story is a 4poison bride,6 ca)sin! the deaths of the men she )nites .ith, and she is a lifeless skeleton, .ith passions and dreams b)t no means to f)lfill them. (his pattern8the .oman as a poison bride ca)sin! her h)sband:s death and then t)rnin! into a skeletal .ido.8is repeated t.ice. Cirst the !irl is a real bride .ho is perceived to have ca)sed her h)sband:s death by her nat)re as a poison bride, and ne7t she is dressed as a bride .ho indeed does administer poison to a departin!

!room. 9t the end of each seG)ence, after ca)sin! her !room:s death, she becomes a skeleton. /nitially, it is her e7istence as a .ido. that is skeletal: she is a bea)tif)l .oman f)ll of dreams and throbbin! life, b)t she is forced to live .itho)t love, f)lfillment, and the capacity to )nite .ith others. By the story:s end, the .ido. has literally become a hollo. skeleton that possesses no si!ns of life or emotion. 9 third story, 4Livin! and Bead6 ,(a!ore "D2':D&O"0E0, presents a yo)n!, childless .ido., ;adambini, .ho is believed by others, and at first believes herself, to be dead, e7istin! in the .orld only as a !host. 9t the be!innin! of the story, she does appear to die s)ddenly, and her body is taken G)ickly to the cremation !ro)nd by men from her father1in1la.:s ho)se. (he men leave her to !o off to !ather f)el for the fire, and she a.akens alone. She had not in fact died, b)t had only been temporarily )nconscio)s. Seein! the cremation !ro)nd aro)nd her in the dead of the ni!ht, she believes that she has died and that she is no. a !host. She does not kno. .here to !o, b)t she feels that she belon!s even less to her father1in1la.:s ho)se than to her father:s home, so she ret)rns to her natal villa!e to a childhood !irlfriend .ho is no. married. *vent)ally, .hen the !irlfriend and her h)sband find o)t that ;adambini is s)pposed to have died, they chase her a.ay screamin!, callin! her acc)rsed and ina)spicio)s. ;adambini then ret)rns to her in1la.:s home and there finally realiAes, .hen she holds her beloved nephe., that she is not a !host. B)t the people of the ho)sehold shriek .hen they see her, pleadin! .ith her not to brin! misfort)ne )pon their ho)sehold and linea!e, not to ca)se their only son to die. ;adambini finally dro.ns herself in a pond, and it is only by dyin! that she is able to prove to her tormentors that she had indeed been alive. 3ere the .ido.:s e7istence is compared to that of a departed spirit or !host ,%ret0. (he .ido. is, as the title s)!!ests, both livin! and dead, or perhaps neither livin! nor dead. She does not belon! in the .orld of the livin!, and yet she is trapped there, as a lonely and ina)spicio)s bein!. ;adambini ponders alo)d abo)t her condition8ostensibly that of a !host8.hile at her childhood friend:s ho)se: -ho am / to yo)5 9m / of this .orld5 =o) are all la)!hin!, cryin!, lovin!, each of yo) en!a!ed in yo)r o.n b)siness, and / am only .atchin! like a shado.. / don:t )nderstand .hy >od has left me in the midst of yo) and yo)r .orldly activities ,sam!sr0. =o) are afraid of my presence, lest / brin! misfort)ne ,amangal0 into the 2oys of yo)r daily lives. /, too, cannot )nderstand .hat relation / have .ith any of yo). B)t since >od did not create another place for )s to !o, .e m)st keep hoverin! abo)t yo), even after the vital links ,"andhan0 are severed. ,(a!ore "D2':"0$0 -ido.s, like !hosts, remain hoverin! aro)nd other people:s ho)seholds, even as in some .ays their 4vital links6 have been severed by death. B)t like !hosts, .ido.s cannot f)lly participate in ho)sehold lifeN like !hosts, they are fri!htenin! and ca)se misfort)ne. -hen ;adambini is referred to as a !host, it is as a %ret, a departed, disembodied spirit. 9 deceased person:s spirit ordinarily becomes a %ret before it moves on to rebirth and ancestorhood ,see chapter %0. B)rin! this transitional sta!e, the %ret maintains attachments to its previo)s life in the .orld, yearnin! for food and attention from former relatives and loved ones, )ntil the seG)ence of f)neral rites finally c)ts these attachments. (he .ido. similarly is in a transitional state bet.een life and death, b)t for an indefinite, prolon!ed period. -hen ;adambini ret)rns to her in1la.:s home, her brother1in1la. beseeches her to c)t all the 4bindin!s of her maya6 ,my"andhan0 for the .orld. 3e pleads, 4-hen yo) have taken leave of sam!sr ,family, .orldly life0, then !o ahead and tear open yo)r bindin!s of maya. -e:ll perform all of the f)neral rites6 ,(a!ore "D2':"0E0. (a!ore s)!!ests that .ido.hood presents a soberin! contrast, for society had created no rit)als that co)ld release the .ido. from her liminal condition. So ;adambini finally kills herself, the only act that can free her from her terrible, eG)ivocal condition as a !hostlike .ido.. -ido.s in these stories are ca)!ht bet.een life and death by bonds that cannot be severed8tied both to their h)sbands .ho are dead and to a life no. devoid of all

pleas)rable content. H H H -e see here8in (a!ore:s stories, as in the disco)rses and practices of those / kne. in +an!aldihi8a specific vision of a .oman:s personhood as bein! permanently and s)bstantially 2oined to her h)sband:s. 9 .oman, once married to a man, .as not easily perceived a!ain as separate from him. /n the dominant patrilineal disco)rse of +an!aldihi, .omen .ere transformed by marria!e8in their emotions and s)bstance8into the 4half bodies6 of their h)sbandsN their lives .ere to be eternally devoted to their h)sbands: .ell1bein! and lon!evity, 2)st as their bodies .ere constit)ted and defined in and thro)!h their h)sbands: bodily s)bstances. 9 .ido., especially if yo)n!, .as dist)rbin! not only in her possibly )ncontained se7)ality b)t in her liminality8someone .ho has forsaken her h)sband by remainin! on earth, b)t .ho yet cannot ever be tr)ly free from him to move on to form ne. or independent relationships and identities. <f co)rse, this .as not the only disco)rse / heard from .omen ,and men0 in and aro)nd +an!aldihi. 9s / have stressed thro)!ho)t these pa!es ,as c)rrent postmodern sensibilities .o)ld hold0, the 4c)lt)re6 of +an!aldihians .as not )nivocal. Some .omen, and some men, re2ected thro)!h their talk or practice s)ch visions of the relationship of a .oman to her h)sband, dead or alive, as necessarily all1 encompassin!. -hen ;ayera Bo) .ore an occasional pair of small yet brilliant sprin!1!reen earrin!s, she .as rep)diatin! the ideolo!ies dictatin! that a .oman .itho)t a h)sband had no reason to dress )p ,tho)!h she was derided by nei!hborhood !irls for doin! so0. -hen the yo)n! Brahman .ido., Chobi, left +an!aldihi to take her o.n apartment and become a self1employed prostit)te in to.n, she .as choosin! to re2ect a life defined in terms of her dead h)sband, assertin! instead her o.n a!ency and independence ,even if that meant forsakin! all ties .ith former kin0. Jonetheless, / cannot deny the force of local ideolo!ies definin! .omen and .ido.s in terms of their h)sbands, evident in .ido.s: everyday practices, movements, diets, dress, and self1perceptions. 3ena:s statement to me .as tellin!: 4/f her h)sband dies, a .oman:s life has no more val)e ,dm0.6 =et one of the themes that has been emer!in! thro)!ho)t this book is that )sin! age as a cate!ory of analysis can provide an alternative perspective. 9s has already become clear from the stories told and data presented abo)t a!in! .omen:s lives ,see also chapters # and '0, the e7periences of .ido.hood for those .ido.ed at older and yo)n!er a!es co)ld be profo)ndly different ,see also Lamb "DDD0. Cor .omen .ido.ed at older a!es, .ith !ro.n sons to care for them, da)!hters1in1la. to s)pervise, a ri!htf)l lon!1term place established in a home, and a body !ro.n nat)rally ase7)al .ith a!e and th)s free8as in the case of ;h)di (hakr)n, or Choto +a, or +e2o +a8.ido.hood did not !enerally have devastatin! social, economic, and emotional conseG)ences. (o be s)re, these older .ido.s .o)ld never be completely free from the ina)spicio)sness of .ido.hood, and they co)ld contin)e for years to feel the emotional pain of losin! and missin! a h)sband. Cor them, .ido.hood also )s)ally bro)!ht .ith it a transfer of a ho)sehold:s economic reso)rces and property to the yo)n!er !eneration, and th)s their f)rther peripheraliAation into old a!e. B)t .ido.hood in late life co)ld also be accompanied by increased freedoms and even respect8fe.er obli!ations tyin! them to the home, an attrib)tion ,for Brahman .ido.s especially0 of increased 4p)rity6 and of 4manlike6 and 4!odlike6 G)alities8.hich many older .ido.s seemed to end )p en2oyin!. (h)s s)spended amid the co)ntervailin! c)rrents of ina)spicio)sness and a)spicio)sness, restraint and freedom, a)thority and peripheraliAation, the !reater portion of +an!aldihi .omen lived the last phases of their lives.

Notes
". Cor a similar acco)nt of the .ido.:s rit)al in a different re!ion of Ben!al, see Cr)AAetti "D&2:"0%O'. 2. <n head shavin!, see 9ltekar "D'2:"'0N C)ller "D00:%&N ;ane "D'&OE%:2.%&%N ;arve "D'#:''N and

S)bramanyam "D0D. #. /t is perhaps si!nificant that head shavin! also !ives .ido.s a manlike appearance, tho)!h no one in +an!aldihi directly made this observation to me. $. Child marria!e ,at least of !irls )nder abo)t fo)rteen0 is not commonly practiced no., b)t earlier in the cent)ry many !irls .ere married and then .ido.ed .hile still children. %. (his problem of children in a ne. ho)sehold co)ld potentially be solved thro)!h levirate, the marria!e of a .ido. to one of her h)sband:s brothers. 3o.ever, altho)!h levirate is practiced else.here in /ndia ,;olenda "D&2, "D&Ea0, it is not common in this re!ion of -est Ben!al ,cf. Cr)AAetti "D&2:"0#0. '. See -adley "DD% for an ill)minatin! disc)ssion of factors ,s)ch as caste, property, a!e, family types0 affectin! .ido. remarria!e in ;arimp)r, north /ndia. E. <n the effects of the -ido. Iemarria!e 9ct, see Carrol "D&#N Chattopadhyaya "D&#:%$N Cho.dhry "D&D:#2", "DD$:"0"O2N and San!ari and Maid "D&D:"'O"E. &. Carol Mlassoff ,"DD00 provides an interestin! st)dy of .ido.s: perceptions of the val)e of sons in a villa!e of +aharashtra. 9ltho)!h many of the .ido.s in her st)dy did not !ain si!nificant economic sec)rity from their sons, those livin! .ith sons eval)ated their sit)ations as happy. D. See 9!ar.al "DD$ and Cho.dhry "DD% for disc)ssions of 3ind) .ido.s: inheritance ri!hts in historical conte7t. "0. Lamb ,"DDD0 offers more detail abo)t .ido.s: so)rces of s)pport ,access to property, headin! ho)seholds, etc.0 across caste, class, and a!e lines in +an!aldihi. -adley ,"DD%0 provides an enli!htenin! disc)ssion of a!e, property, and .ido.hood in ;arimp)r, north /ndia. "". ;ayera Bo) first .ent to her father:s home for several days, b)t she soon ret)rned to her 2&a2ur "r!i in +an!aldihi, .here she still lives .ith her mother1in1la., her h)sband:s sister:s son, his .ife, and their three children. "2. ,hol8%ar, .hich literally means 4takin! off and p)ttin! on,6 is one name for the rit)al of becomin! a .ido.N it refers to the act of removin! married .oman:s !arb and p)ttin! on the .ido.:s dress. "#. <n 4.ido.1prostit)tes,6 see also Bas "DED:DEOD&N 3arlan "DD%:2"&N and +int)rn "DD#:2#%O#'. "$. +ahas.eta Bevi:s 4Bho.li6 ,"DD0:"&%O20%0 offers a po.erf)l fictional portrayal of a bea)tif)l, lo.1caste yo)n! .ido. .ho is forced, .ith tra!ic conseG)ences, to become a prostit)te after her Brahman lover deserts and t)rns a!ainst her. "%. Cor more on the historical practice of sati and British colonial reactions to it, see P. Chatter2ee "D&D, "DD0N 3a.ley "DD$N +ani "DD0, "DD2, "DD&N Jandy "DD0aN Jarasimhan "DD0N and -ard "&20. Cor disc)ssions of the more recent incidence of sati in "D&E, that of I)p ;an.ar in Ia2asthan, see Bas "DD%:"0EO"EN >rover "DD0:$0O$EN 3arlan "DD2:"#N Jandy "DD%N Jarasimhan "DD0N <ldenb)r! "DD$N and -eisman "D&E. "'. (he Mah"hrata offers a similar archetype ,see, e.!., Man B)itenen "DE%:E'0OE&0. "E. =amara2 calls Savitri a 4!ood .oman6N 4Sati6 is also the name !iven to .omen .ho follo. their h)sbands in death by b)rnin! .ith them on the cremation pyre. "&. +y research assistant Bip) helped me transcribe and edit the story. (his version is incl)ded not as a richly te7t)red e7ample of an oral performance b)t rather for its thematic content. Bimock ,"D'#:"D%O 2D$0, Sen ,"D2#0, and -. L. Smith ,"D&00 provide other versions of the story.

"D. 9ccordin! to -. L. Smith ,"D&0:""'0, Ben!alis commonly )sed to set the dead bodies of snakebite victims adrift do.n a river on a raft made of banana stalks, in the hope that they .o)ld be fo)nd by an o'h, or healer, .ho .o)ld be able to revive them. 20. (his form of reasonin! is common thro)!ho)t /ndia ,e.!., Chakravarti "DD%:22%0N +ar!lin "D&%c:%#O%%N Samanta "DD2:E#0. 2". (he Sanskrit terms a2u#itam! and a2u#ih! )sed here are related to the Ben!ali a2au#, meanin! literally 4imp)re,6 from a ,ne!ative prefi70 and 2u#i ,p)re0. Iemember that in Ben!ali, a2au# refers specifically to the imp)rity stemmin! from death and childbirth only, and not to everyday imp)rity, a2uddhat. 22. (here is a Ben!ali .ord for .ido.er, "i%atn3/ ,.itho)t a .ife0N b)t this learned term .as not in common )sa!e in the +an!aldihi re!ion, and in fact most .hom / asked professed no kno.led!e of it. 2#. (hese three stories ,4+ahTmTyT,6 4;an!kTl,6 and 4Lbbita < +rYita60 appear in Ben!ali in (a!ore:s collection of stories titled Gal%agu##ha ,"D2'0. 4Lbbita < +rYita6 has also been translated into *n!lish by ;alpana Bardhan ,"DD0:%"O'"0 as 4(he Livin! and the Bead.6

E2 A$terword
Seventeen months into my stay in +an!aldihi / commented in my fieldnotes: 49lmost everythin! abo)t life here seems so ordinary to me no. that it hardly seems .orth describin!.6 /t .as !ettin! to be time to !o. / .ent on: 4*veryone talks to me constantly no. abo)t ho. /:ll be leavin! soon. (hey tell me that it .ill be sad for them .hen / !o, that the villa!e .ill cry for me, that its lanes .ill seem empty. B)t they tell me that it .ill be even harder for me to leave them: 9fter havin! mi7ed .ith +an!aldihi:s people for so many days, after havin! acG)ired a ho)sehold f)ll of thin!s8a 'anat stove, a kerosene lamp, a table and chair, a mosG)ito net, saris ,some no. .orn and faded0, a taste for lu %osta, potatoes .ith poppy seed paste8it .ill be painf)l for me to try to c)t the maya and leave.6 +y last ni!ht .as spent8.ith sh)tters thro.n open to a l)mino)s moon and the coolin! relief of a ni!ht breeAe8amid a clamor for all of my thin!s. People came to carry a.ay the acc)m)lated pieces of my ho)sehold. 9nd then there .ere tears, especially amon! the yo)n!er nei!hborhood !irls .ho had become my devoted companions. /s this .hat it is like to depart in the f)llness of life5 ,Better, perhaps, to disperse thin!s and ties earlier than at the moment of leavin!.0 / be!an this book .ith several G)estions8intendin! to )se a!in! as a lens to e7plore ho. social .orlds .ere constit)ted and taken apart, and !ender relations constr)cted and transformed, in a comm)nity of -est Ben!al, /ndia. <ne G)estion / opened .ith, b)t .hich / have still not f)lly resolved, concerns the po.er or a)thority of older .omen in /ndia. (he scattered comments that t)rn )p on !ender and a!in! in .ork on /ndia have foc)sed not on e7periences of partin! or the relinG)ishin! of thin!s, b)t on the apparent increasin! po.er of .omen as they a!e. /n anthropolo!ical and historical st)dies, if older .omen are disc)ssed at all, they are !enerally presented as po.erf)l matriarchs .ho have finally come into their o.n as senior mothers1in1la. .ithin 2oint families. S)san -adley, for instance, proclaims: 4(he r)ral lando.ner:s .ife reaches her ma7im)m potential as a matriarch of a 2oint ho)seholdF, .here she can e7ercise a)thority over sons, da)!hters1in1la., and !randchildren.F/t is as senior female of a 2oint family that the 3ind) .oman attains her !reatest po.er, a)thority, and a)tonomy6 ,"DD%:D&0. Prem Cho.dhry !oes f)rther, s)!!estin! that older .omen play a cr)cial role in )pholdin! the patriarchal order in /ndia that s)bordinates .omen: 4?(@he older controllin! .oman .ho becomes herself a patriarch, imposes a)thority on behalf of men and perpet)ates the patriarchal ideolo!y, forms a class apart6 ,"DD$:"&0.

Bo s)ch claims rin! tr)e5 Sho)ld .e see the older So)th 9sian .oman as, finally, a fi!)re of a)thority and po.er5 -hat insi!hts can .e !ain from foc)sin!, as / have done here, on older .omen:s8and men:s8lives from the intert.ined perspectives of family and kinship, the emotional e7periences of a!in! and dyin!, chan!es in the body and se7)ality, and the social and economic conseG)ences of .ido.hood5 +y data from -est Ben!al s)!!ests that in important .ays .omen do tend to !ain more po.ers and freedoms as they a!e and become mothers1in1la.. 9s female head of the ho)sehold8after she !ives her sons: marria!es, .itnesses her o.n mother1in1la. !rad)ally relinG)ishin! a)thority ,or dyin!0, and separates from her h)sband:s brothers: ho)seholds8a .oman can en2oy considerable a)thority and a)tonomy. She can make decisions abo)t .hat to cook and ho. to spend and allocate money, and can direct the activities of da)!hters1in1la., her o.n daily movements, and the like. +oreover, as / s)!!ested at the end of chapter ', older .omen in +an!aldihi tend to re!ard themselves, and to be re!arded by others, increasin!ly as inherent, tr)e parts of their marital patrilines and ho)seholds. Cor this reason, it seems nat)ral that older .omen often come to )phold and enforce some of the norms and val)es of kinship hierarchies ,s)ch as deference, p)rdah, etc.0 that they mi!ht previo)sly, as yo)n! .ives, have challen!ed or critiG)ed. /f the family or patriline is theirs, then ens)rin! the compliance of their da)!hters1in1la. or !randda)!hters ens)res their own honor, and that of the family that they have come to be invested in, to care abo)t, to be a part of. /n addition, prevalent notions abo)t older .omen:s bodies and se7)ality enable older .omen to e7perience the tremendo)s freedom and relief that comes .ith havin! restrictions of p)rdah and domestic confinement lifted. (he matter is comple7 and n)anced, ho.ever. Si!nificantly, a!in! for .omen does not stop .ith mother1in1la.1hood. -adley ackno.led!es this point, tho)!h she does not elaborate on it, statin! that the .oman 4from a!es forty to si7ty6 is often a si!nificant a)thority fi!)re in her ho)sehold, 4after .hich old a!e be!ins to take its toll and da)!hters1in1la. !ain po.er6 ,"DD%:DD0. /n +an!aldihi, the .omen .ho .ere considered the most 4senior6 or 4increased6 ,"ur!i0 .ere not the rei!nin! mothers1in1 la. b)t those .ho had !rad)ally relinG)ished their positions of a)thority in the ho)sehold to move on to a ne. phase of life. (hese .omen ended )p havin! little overt po.er in their ho)seholds. =et s)ch a shift .as not e7perienced p)rely as a loss. Iather, a lessenin! of domestic po.ers often meant increased e7tradomestic opport)nities. 9 .oman cannot spend time o)tside of her home8 han!in! o)t all mornin! .ith friends playin! cards or havin! tea, or !oin! on pil!rima!es and visits to fara.ay places8if she is the one responsible for mana!in! the ho)sehold. 9nd +an!aldihi:s most senior .omen often became m)ch more la7 abo)t matters s)rro)ndin! the control and propriety of 2)nior .omen. Choto +a, for instance, .o)ld !ossip to me abo)t the romantic escapades of her !randda)!hters and !randnieces, sayin! .ith a smile that these !irls .ere not really 4vir!ins6 ,/umr3s0, b)t only 4half vir!ins.6 -hen / asked her once if she .as concerned abo)t all that, she said, still .ith pleas)re, 4Jo. (hat:s a matter for my "oums ,da)!hters1in1la.0 no.. (hey are the ones in char!e of the ho)sehold:s .omen.6 C)rthermore, .omen:s e7periences of old a!e, and their de!rees of po.er and a!ency, depended a !reat e7tent on8and varied !reatly accordin! to8their partic)lar family and economic circ)mstances. (he most important factor .as .hether or not a .oman had sons .illin! to care for her ,see chapters 2 and #0. 9lso important .as a .oman:s marital stat)s ,see chapter E0 and economic circ)mstances. -hen listenin! to older .omen:s o.n voices and stories abo)t their lives, / .as str)ck that they spoke m)ch more freG)ently not of po.er and the reverence !iven to them by their sons and da)!hters1in1la., b)t of peripheraliAation and .eakenin!, of po)rin! o)t love, .ealth, and effort to raise their children and serve their families all of their lives and yet failin!, in the end, to receive as m)ch as they have !iven. Some older .omen, and men, .ho had markedly little emotional and economic s)pport from their kin, ackno.led!ed at times that at least their )tter lack of kin and material comforts .o)ld mean that they

co)ld hope to face an easier passa!e into death and rebirth, that the ties of their maya .o)ld not be so bindin! ,see chapter $0. (h)s, .e see here that a!in! for .omen, as for men, is a hi!hly polyvalent and comple7 phenomenon, char!ed .ith ambi!)ity. /t is too simple to claim that the older /ndian .oman is a 4po.erf)l matriarch6N b)t it .o)ld be eG)ally .ron! to deny that a!in! brin!s most .omen certain important forms of po.er, a!ency, and freedom. (his speaks to a more f)ndamental point, conveyed in different .ays thro)!ho)t the precedin! chapters, concernin! an )nderlyin! ambi!)ity or m)ltivalence in the concept)al and practical .orlds of the Ben!alis / kne.. L)st as the implications of a!in! for older .omen and men .ere not one1dimensional, so too there .as no simple definition of .hat makes a 4man6 or a 4.oman,6 or consistent set of life aims and val)es, or )niform conception of divinity. (he everyday lived .orlds of those in +an!aldihi ,and, one s)spects, of all people0 .ere replete .ith conflictin! feat)res, co)nterstrivin!s, ambi!)ities, and parado7es. 9s postmodernist critics of anthropolo!ical representations have for some time no. insisted, ambi!)ity is not somethin! to be !otten rid of, even in analytic acco)nts of h)man behavior. -e as anthropolo!ists m)st be prepared to entertain the probability, the inevitability even, of contradictions and m)ltivocality in the concept)al and e7periential .orlds of those .e seek to )nderstand. +ar!aret (ra.ick ,"DD0b:#EO$#, 2$2O%&0 s)!!ests that in /ndian c)lt)ral .orlds in partic)lar, ambi!)ity is an especially salient and even c)ltivated G)ality. Cor (amils, she .rites, this ambi!)ity is .hat is kno.n as maya. Cor Ben!alis, too, maya can mean ambi!)ity, m)ltivalence, or ill)sion. (he most everyday, e7plicit meanin! of maya for Ben!alis is affection, attachment, or loveN b)t as .e have seen, this affection ,for other people, for the body, for a home, for a deity0 is fra)!ht .ith ambivalence and ambi!)ity. Ba)!hters and da)!hters1in1la. are at once 4one:s o.n6 and 4other.6 (ies of maya !ro. in intensity over a lon! life, and yet it is in late life .hen they are the most ephemeral. +aya is somethin! that is desired and c)ltivatedN yet it is also one of the si7 h)man vices, that .hich ca)ses pain and conf)sion. +aya means love and affection, and is somethin! intensely feltN it also means ill)sion or ambi!)ity, that .hich cannot be kno.n. (he Ben!alis / kne. did not seem to vie. s)ch ambi!)ities or m)ltivalencies as problematic contradictions that m)st be resolved, b)t rather as an inherent part of everyday livin! in a comple7, diverse, and never f)lly comprehended .orld. Like many other anthropolo!ists of my !eneration, / have been concerned .ith ho. to reconstr)ct s)ch vie.s of 4c)lt)re6 that allo. for and heed m)ltivocality, ambi!)ity, contest, and process. Coc)sin! on the diver!ent perspectives of a!e8as .ell as on !ender, and on partic)lar people:s life e7periences8has been one .ay for me to accomplish this. 9t the same time, it is important to look for consens)s, dominant forms .ithin c)lt)res, and meanin!f)l !eneraliAations. Lean and Lohn Comaroff have ar!)ed that an analysis of the shared practices, symbols, and meanin!s that make )p c)lt)res and he!emonies is a necessary part of )nderstandin! even those sit)ations in .hich the si!nificance of si!ns and practices is contested ,"DD":2"0. <n the one hand, they ar!)e, .e sho)ld take some of the lessons of critical postmodernism very serio)sly, in partic)lar 4the admonition to re!ard c)lt)re not as an o&erdeterminin!, closed system of si!ns b)t as a set of polyvalent practices, te7ts, and ima!es that may, at any time, be contested.6 <n the other hand, the Comaroffs insist that it .ill not do simply to abandon alto!ether any notion of c)lt)ral str)ct)re, for .e m)st reco!niAe that 4?m@ost people live in a .orld in .hich many si!ns, and often the ones that co)nt the most, look as tho)!h they are eternally fi7ed6 ,p. "E0. S)san Bordo e7presses similar concerns abo)t the 4taboo on !eneraliAation6 and 4the related contemporary panic over Pessentialism:6 ,"DD#:2$0. (o foc)s only on m)ltiple interpretations, 4hetero!eneity,6 and 4difference6 as principles for interpretin! c)lt)re, history, and te7ts is to miss important effects of the everyday deployment of mass c)lt)ral representations, the .ays that dominant forms .ithin c)lt)res and histories do e7ert force on people, shapin! their lives and even their forms of resistance ,pp. 2$O#0, #&O#D0.

(h)s, altho)!h / have framed this pro2ect in lar!e part as heedin! older .omen:s and men:s voices to find alternative, even contestatory, perspectives on !ender, kinship, and personhood in north /ndia, / take iss)e .ith postmodernist positions ,e.!., 9b)1L)!hod "DD#0?"@ that discard the very possibility of makin! any meanin!f)l social analyses or !eneraliAations. Jot only are .e ,as anthropolo!ists and scholars of the h)man condition0 dra.n to theoriAe abo)t broader socioc)lt)ral forces, s)ch as dominant ideolo!ies, kinship and economic systems, str)ct)res of po.er, and forms of shared c)lt)ral identityN mappin! these broader forces is also cr)cial to enablin! )s to )nderstand %arti#ular %eo%le6s lives. (o foc)s e7cl)sively on hetero!eneity, difference, contest, and the like blinds )s to the fact that there are dominant forms that people m)st contend .ith .ithin c)lt)res, and that people are f)ndamentally socioc)lt)ral bein!s. / have therefore not 2)st e7amined ho., for instance, .omen at vario)s sta!es of the life co)rse may critiG)e, resist, or offer diver!ent perspectives on more dominant kinship and !ender ideolo!ies. / have also scr)tiniAed these dominant ideolo!ies, si!ns, and practices themselves as important for )nderstandin! partic)lar .omen:s and men:s lives, and the .ays that their lives are to some e7tent shaped and constrained by the c)lt)ral circ)mstances in .hich they live. C)rthermore, / have .anted to e7plore and ackno.led!e the .ays in .hich people often self1 conscio)sly represent themsel&es by referrin! to the shared val)es, identities, and practices of their 4c)lt)re.6 Certainly many of the Ben!alis / kne. did so8for e7ample, .hen speakin! abo)t the kinds of 4Ben!ali6 family moral systems that in many .ays defined a!in!, !ender, and kinship for them ,see chapters 2 and #0, or abo)t the meanin!s that maya has in their 4Ben!ali6 lives ,see especially chapter $0. People seem to en!a!e in s)ch processes of self1representation partic)larly .hen confronted8via colonialism, the !lobaliAation of media and the economy, mi!ration, the anthropolo!ical cross1c)lt)ral enco)nter8.ith the c)lt)ral and political1economic representations of others. Scholars s)ch as Partha Chatter2ee ,"DD#, "DDE0, Pradip Bose ,"DD%0, and others have scr)tiniAed the .ays that the elite middle class, d)rin! Ben!al:s period of co)ntercolonial nationalism, strove to fabricate and )phold .hat they envisioned to be their 4o.n6 c)lt)ral1moral order8lod!ed in the family, in .omen, in reli!ion, in 4tradition.6 (he pro2ect of definin! and ne!otiatin! a 4Ben!ali6 c)lt)re, for those livin! in r)ral villa!es s)ch as +an!aldihi, may %erha%s be more s)btle than it .as for late1nineteenth1 and early1 t.entieth1cent)ry middle1class nationalistsN b)t it is still !oin! on. 9nd that is 2)st .hat .e sho)ld e7pect, in a m)ltiethnic, postcolonial, and increasin!ly !lobaliAed r)ral Ben!al. / have taken 4c)lt)re6 here, then, to be partially systematic yet also open1endedN to be coherent, and yet ambi!)o)sN to be po.er1laden, and yet s)sceptible to resistanceN to be made )p of shared meanin!s, si!ns, and practices, and yet to be replete as .ell .ith diver!ent perspectives and contests. (hro)!ho)t these pa!es / have so)!ht to )se .henever possible the .ords, stories, cate!ories, and comments of my friends in +an!aldihi, endeavorin! to present their lives in a .ay con!r)ent .ith their o.n perceptions. / kno., ho.ever, that / cannot f)lly share nor replicate others: visions, and that the kinds of G)estions / am askin! of the lives of +an!aldihi:s residents .ere often strikin!ly different from the kinds of G)estions they .ere seekin! to ans.er abo)t themselves, abo)t their o.n h)man lives in the .orld, and abo)t me. 9nthropolo!ical kno.led!e is al.ays somethin! prod)ced in h)man interaction, a t.o1.ay process of constr)ctin! a partic)lar vision of a certain set of c)lt)ral e7periences and practices8a process that leaves both parties chan!ed. 9s Jancy Scheper13)!hes ,"DD2:7ii0 observes, the anthropolo!ical 4field6 behind every ethno!raphy is 4a place both pro7imate and intimate ,beca)se .e have lived some part of o)r lives there0 as .ell as forever distant and )nkno.ably Pother: ,beca)se o)r o.n destinies lie else.here0.6 9ny act of 4.ritin! c)lt)re6 is therefore necessarily partial, fra!mentary, and biased. B)t at the same time, ethno!raphy is a deeply felt acco)nt of real people:s lives8based on seein!, listenin!, to)chin!, recordin!, and sharin! e7perience. 9nd s)ch an acco)nt is .hat / have attempted in these pa!es, strivin! to interpret as

sensitively as possible a part of the lives of those .ith .hom / lived for some ei!hteen ,very vivid0 months amid the d)sty lanes and verdant rice fields of the villa!e of +an!aldihi.

Notes
". / admire 9b)1L)!hod:s book ,"DD#0, partic)larly its vivid stories and even her provocative openin! comments abo)t the pitfalls of anthropolo!ical !eneraliAations. 3o.ever, / believe that 9b)1L)!hod takes her critiG)es too far and th)s misses an opport)nity to e7plore f)ndamental dimensions of .hat makes )p the lives of the partic)lar people .ith .hom she is concerned. >eneraliAations are necessary even if one:s primary aim is to )nderstand partic)lar lives, beca)se !eneraliAed forces shape and constrain those lives.

,'ossar&
lt Ied dye )sed by .omen to color the sides of their feet. mis! Jonve!etarian food or diet ,incl)din! meat, fish, e!!s, onions, and !arlic0. 7s! Jonve!etarian diet ,variant of mis!0. a2au# /mp)reN a period of separation imp)rity inc)rred by relatives follo.in! a birth or death. 2rama Sta!e of lifeN shelter. <ne of the fo)r sta!es of life described in the 3ind) dharma2stra te7ts, incl)din! st)dent ,"rahma#arya0, ho)seholder ,gr!hastha0, forest d.eller ,&na%rastha0, and reno)ncer ,sannys30. a2uddha /mp)re, in the everyday sense, as in havin! come into contact .ith s)bstances s)ch as menstr)al blood, feces, )n.ashed clothin!, lo.er1caste people, or non13ind)s. tm So)lN self. "am!2a Camily lineN specifically, a line of male descendants, incl)din! inmarryin! .ives and )nmarried da)!hters. Bamboo. "%er ghar ,9 !irl:s or .oman:s0 father:s ho)se, natal home. 9lso called "%er "r!i. "ayas 9!e, phase of life, life spanN also vi!or, prime of life. (he phrase "ayas haye#he, 4a!e has happened,6 implies that m)ch of a person:s life span has occ)rred or passed, and perhaps that the phase of 4vi!or6 has already happened and passed by as .ell. "ayas/a <f a partic)lar ,)s)ally senior0 a!e or life phaseN a!ed. "haga&n >odN divinity in the )nspecified, formless sense. "ha/t3 BevotionN devotional, respectf)l love. "hlo"s LoveN e!alitarian, m)t)al love. "ht

Boiled rice. "hHt >host. "idho" -ido.N literally, 4.itho)t6 ,"i0 a man or h)sband ,dho"0. "or!o Bi!N ,of people0 rich, .ealthy, or senior. <pposite of #hot!o ,little0, )sed to refer to yo)n! ones, poor, or lo.er1caste people. "ou -ife or da)!hter1in1la., )sed to refer to either one:s o.n .ife or the .ife of someone 2)nior in the ho)sehold. "oum Ba)!hter1in1la. ,literally, 4.ife1mother60. "r!iddha /ncreased, !ro.nN old, a!ed. Crom the root "r!, meanin! 4to !ro.6 or 4to increase.6 "ur!i <ld ,or senior, increased, !ro.n0 .oman. "ur!o Senior, increased, old ,also from the root "r!, 4to !ro.6 or 4to increase60. Used most often to refer to a senior or elderly man ,or .oman0, or sometimes to overly ripe prod)ce ,s)ch as a .rinkled and soft e!!plant0. ddu >randfatherN an old man. dar2an 9)spicio)s si!ht of a po.erf)l icon or livin! bein!N conveys a sense of po.er and blessin!s flo.in! in thro)!h the eyes ,as .ell as devotion and prayers flo.in! o)t0. deha Body. dharma +oral1reli!io)s orderN ri!ht .ay of livin!N coherence. dhoti Dhuti. 9 lon!, )s)ally plain .hite, cloth that men .ear .rapped aro)nd as a lo.er !arment ,and that some older .ido.ed .omen .ear in place of a sari0. didim +aternal !randmother ,literally, 4older sisterOmother60. dur"al -eek, feeble, .itho)t stren!th. e7t!o Leftover ,after eatin!0N that .hich has come into contact .ith the leavin!s of a meal or .ith cooked riceN permeated .ith saliva. ghar 'mi 3o)se son1in1la., a man .ho comes to live in his father1in1la.:s home. !hat Ght!. (he bank of a pond or river. guru'an Iespected personsN elders. 'mi Son1in1la. ,or sister:s h)sband0, the h)sband of one:s da)!hter or sister. 'r

Becrepit)deN state of bein! .orn o)t or decayed or di!ested. Used to refer to a condition of decrepit)de that some e7perience in advanced a!e. 'ti Birth !ro)pN commonly translated as caste. karma Based on the root /ar, 4to do,6 the theory that fate comes in the form of the fr)its of previo)s actions, performed in a past life or in this one. /as!t!a S)fferin!, pain, hard effort, sorro.N the s)fferin! or hardship that occ)rs .hen a person toils laborio)sly to achieve somethin!, s)ch as raise a child or !o on a pil!rima!e. /u2a 9 kind of holy !rass )sed in many rit)als, distin!)ished by its sharp points. (he related term /u2gra means 4shre.d,6 4keen,6 or sharp as the tip of a blade of /u2a !rass. /ut!um" 9 relative, especially as related by marria!e. 9 married .oman:s /ut!um"s incl)de her natal kin, .hile her h)sband and his natal kin become her ni'er lo/ ,o.n people0. lo/ 9 person, peopleN a .orld, a sphere. ms3m +other:s sisterN a)ntieN a respectf)lly affectionate term often )sed in addressin! older .omen. my 9ttachment, affection, compassion, bodily1emotional tiesN ill)sionN the nat)re of the everyday, lived .orld of e7perience. mo/sha Ielease, specifically from the bonds of a partic)lar life, or in the more )ltimate sense of release from the cycle of rebirths, redeaths, and reattachments that make )p sam!sr. mu/ti Ielease ,variant of mo/sha0. mur!i Parched ,or p)ffed0 rice. nirmis! Me!etarian food or diet. %% Sin, in the sense of ma2or trans!ressions. %in!d!a Iice ball )sed in offerin!s made to spirits of recently deceased persons and to ancestorsN the bodyN body particle. %itr! Cather, ancestor. %ran!m 9 respectf)l !est)re in .hich a 2)nior bo.s do.n before a senior person or deity and symbolically or physically removes the d)st from the senior:s feet. %ret Beparted oneN disembodied h)man spirit, d)rin! the transitional phase follo.in! death and before transformation into a %itr!, or ancestor. %H' -orshipN devotionN rit)al offerin!s !iven to deitiesN a reli!io)s celebration. r!n! Bebt.

sam!sr Camily, family cycle, ho)sehold lifeN the entire .orld of livin! bein!sN the endless cycle of rebirths and redeaths that are the nat)re of all e7istence this side of release. ,Literally, that .hich 4flo.s to!ether,6 from the roots sam!, 4to!ether, .ith,6 and sr!, 4to flo., move.60 sam!s/r Life cycle rit)alN refinin!, reshapin!, polishin!, markin!. sannys3 Ieno)ncerN the final sta!e of life ,2rama0, d)rin! .hich a man leaves behind all ties to family, caste, place, and possessions, foc)sin! solely on >od and release. sa%in!d!a <f the same bodyN relatives in a male line .ho offer %in!d!as to the same ancestors or .ho share body particles. sari Sr!i. -oman:s dress, a lon! cloth .orn aro)nd the lo.er body .ith one end p)lled over the sho)lder, sho)lders, or head. 2ar3r BodyN literally, 4that .hich decays6 or 4that .hich passes a.ay.6 <ften tho)!ht to consist of t.o complementary parts: a !ross, material body ,sthHla 2ar3r0 and a s)btle body ,sH/s!ma 2ar3r0. 22ur!3 +other1in1la. ,marital mother0. Sched)led Caste 9 >overnment of /ndia classification of disadvanta!ed castes and tribes ,in part, a replacement for the dero!atory term 4)nto)chable60. se& Service, carin!, filial respectN carin! service performed respectf)lly for a senior person or deity. sindHr Mermilion, .orn by married .omen in the part of their hair. sneha 9ffection, affectionate loveN the love that flo.s do.n from a senior to a 2)nior. 2rddha <fferin!s made .ith faith to spirits of dead kin and ancestors. 2uddha P)re, as in the state of bein! )nmi7ed .ith s)bstances tho)!ht to be imp)re ,a2uddha0. S)dra (he lo.est of fo)r ma2or cate!ories of caste ,&arn!as0, consistin! of Brahmans ,priests0, ;shatriyas ,.arriors, r)lers0, Maisyas ,merchants0, and S)dras ,laborers0. 2&a2ur Cather1in1la. ,marital father0. 2&a2ur ghar Cather1in1la.:s ho)seN a .oman:s marital home. 9lso called 2&a2ur "r!i. t!h/ur Lord, >odN )s)ally )sed to refer to a specific !od, often as manifest in a visible form, s)ch as the ima!es of deities established .ithin temples. t!h/urdd Paternal !randfather, literally 4!odOolder brother.6 t!h/urm Paternal !randmother, literally 4!od1mother.6 t3rtha Pil!rima!e centerN crossin! place, ford.

tuls3 9 plant ,related to basil0 embodyin! Lord ;rishna and )sed in many rit)als as a p)rifyin! and freein! a!ent. &na%rastha Corest d.ellerN the third sta!e of life ,2rama0, d)rin! .hich a man ,.ith or .itho)t his .ife0 leaves behind his married children and possessions to d.ell in relative solit)de in the forest.

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Be)tsch, 3elene. "D$%. (he %sy#hology o$ women: A %sy#hoanalyti# inter%retation. Mol. 2. Je. =ork: >r)ne and Stratton. Bevi, +ahas.eta. "D&&. 4Breast1!iver, translated by >ayatri Chakravorty Spivak.6 /n In other worlds: -ssays in #ultural %oliti#s, by >ayatri Chakravorty Spivak, 222O$0. Je. =ork: Io)tled!e. 888888. "DD0. 4Bho.li.6 /n O$ women, out#astes, %easants, and re"els: A sele#tion o$ Bengali short stories, edited and translated by ;alpana Bardhan, "&%O20%. Berkeley: University of California Press. di Leonardo, +icaela. "DD". 4/ntrod)ction: >ender, c)lt)re and political economy: Ceminist anthropolo!y in historical perspective.6 /n Gender at the #rossroads o$ /nowledge: )eminist anthro%ology in the %ostmodern era, edited by +icaela di Leonardo, "O$&. Berkeley: University of California Press. Bimock, *d.ard C. "D'#. (he thie$ o$ lo&e: Bengali tales $rom #ourt and &illage. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. Boni!er <:Claherty, -endy. "DE#Si&a: (he eroti# as#eti#. <7ford: <7ford University Press. 888888. "DE'. (he origins o$ e&il in *indu mythology. Berkeley: University of California Press. 888888. "D&0. 4;arma and rebirth in the Medas and P)ranas.6 /n ,arma and re"irth in #lassi#al Indian traditions, edited by -endy Boni!er <:Claherty, #O#E. Berkeley: University of California Press. 888888. "D&$. Dreams, illusion, and other realities. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. 888888. "DD$. 4Playin! the field: 9d)ltery as claim 2)mpin!.6 /n (he sense o$ adharma, edited by 9riel >l)cklich, "'DO&&. <7ford: <7ford University Press. Bo)!las, +ary. "D''. .urity and danger. London: Io)tled!e and ;e!an Pa)l. 888888. "DE0. Natural sym"ols. Je. =ork: Minta!e Books. Bo)!las, -illiam. "D'D. Death in Murelaga: )unerary ritual in a S%anish BasKue &illage. Seattle: University of -ashin!ton Press. Bo.ns, La)ra Lee. "DD#. 4/f woman is 2)st an empty cate!ory, then .hy am / afraid to .alk alone at ni!ht5 /dentity politics meets the postmodern s)b2ect.6 Lom%arati&e Studies in So#iety and *istory #%,20:$"$O%". B)be, Leela. "DE%. 4-oman:s .orlds8(hree enco)nters.6 /n -n#ounter and e0%erien#e: .ersonal a##ounts o$ $ieldwor/, edited by 9. Beteille and (. J. +adan, "%EOEE. Belhi: Mikas. 888888. "D&&. 4<n the constr)ction of !ender: 3ind) !irls in patrilineal /ndia.6 -#onomi# and .oliti#al Wee/ly, #0 9pril, ""O"D. B)mont, Lo)is. "D&0a. *omo hierar#hi#us: (he #aste system and its im%li#ations. Iev. ed. (ranslated by +ark Sainsb)ry, Lo)is B)mont, and Basia >)lati. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. 888888. "D&0b ?"D'0@. World renun#iation in Indian religions. A%%endi0 B o$ *omo hierar#hi#us,X. 2'EO&'. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. 888888. "D&#. 4(he debt to ancestors and the cate!ory of sapinda.6 /n De"ts and de"tors, edited by Charles +alamo)d, "O20. Je. Belhi: Mikas. 888888. "D&%. 49 modified vie. of o)r ori!ins: (he Christian be!innin!s of modern individ)alism.6 /n (he #ategory o$ the %erson: Anthro%ology, %hiloso%hy, history, edited by +ichael Carrithers, Steven Collins, and Steven L)kes, D#O"22. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press.

B)mont, Lo)is, and Bavid Pocock. "D%D. 4P)re and imp)re.6 Lontri"utions to Indian So#iology. #:DO #D. d) (oit, Brian +. "DD0. Aging and meno%ause among Indian South A$ri#an women. 9lbany: State University of Je. =ork Press. *ck, Biana. "D&". 4/ndia:s t3rthas: Crossin!s in sacred !eo!raphy.6 43istory of Ieli!ions6 20:#2#O$$. *pstein, (. Scarlett. "DE#. South India: Yesterday, today and tomorrow: Mysore &illages re&isited. Je. =ork: 3olmes and +eyer. *.in!, ;atherine P. "DD0. 4(he ill)sion of .holeness: C)lt)re, self, and the e7perience of inconsistency.6 -thos. "&:2%"OE&. 888888. "DD". 4Can psychoanalytic theories e7plain the Pakistani .oman5 /ntrapsychic a)tonomy and interpersonal en!a!ement in the e7tended family.6 -thos. "D:"#"O'0. Cabian, Lohannes. "DE#. 43o. others die8Ieflections on the anthropolo!y of death.6 /n Death in Ameri#an e0%erien#e, edited by 9rien +ack, "EEO20". Je. =ork: Schocken. Ceher, +ichel, ed., .ith Iamona Jaddaff and Jadia (aAi. "D&D)ragments $or a history o$ the human "ody. # vols. Je. =ork: Rone. Clint, +archa. "DE%. 4(he menopa)se: Ie.ard or p)nishment56 .sy#hosomati#s. "':"'"O'#. Co)ca)lt, +ichel. "DE#. Madness and #i&ili1ation: A history o$ insanity in the age o$ reason. (ranslated by Iichard 3o.ard. Je. =ork: Minta!e. 888888. "DE%. (he "irth o$ the #lini#: An ar#heology o$ medi#al %er#e%tion. (ranslated by 9. +. Sheridan Smith. Je. =ork: Minta!e. 888888. "DED. Dis#i%line and %unish: (he "irth o$ the %rison. (ranslated by 9lan Sheridan. Je. =ork: Minta!e. 888888. "D&0a. *er#uline Bar"in: Being the re#ently dis#o&ered memoirs o$ a nineteenth8 #entury )ren#h herma%hrodite. /ntrod)ced by +ichel Co)ca)lt. (ranslated by Iichard +cBo)!all. Je. =ork: Pantheon. 888888. "D&0b. (he history o$ se0uality. Mol. ", An Introdu#tion. (ranslated by Iobert 3)rley. Je. =ork: Minta!e. 888888. "D&0c. .ower+/nowledge: Sele#ted inter&iews and other writings. *dited by Colin >ordon. (ranslated by Colin >ordon et al. Je. =ork: Pantheon. Creeman, Lames +. "D&0. 4(he ladies of Lord ;rishna: Iit)als of middle1a!ed .omen in *astern /ndia.6 /n Vns%o/en worlds: Women6s religious li&es in non8Western #ultures, edited by Jancy 9. Calk and Iita +. >ross, ""0O2'. San Crancisco: 3arper and Io.. Cr)AAetti, Lina +. "D&2. (he gi$t o$ a &irgin: Women, marriage, and ritual in a Bengali so#iety. Je. Br)ns.ick, J.L.: I)t!ers University Press. Cr)AAetti, Lina, and 9kos <stor. "D&$. 4Seed and earth: 9 c)lt)ral analysis of a Ben!ali to.n.6 /n ,inshi% and ritual in Bengal: Anthro%ologi#al essays, EDO"2$. Je. Belhi: So)th 9sian P)blishers. Cr)AAetti, Lina, 9kos <stor, and Steve Barnett. "D&2. 4(he c)lt)ral constr)ction of the person in Ben!al and (amilnad).6 /n Lon#e%ts o$ %erson: ,inshi%, #aste, and marriage in India, edited by 9kos <stor, Lina Cr)AAetti, and Steve Barnett, &O#0. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press. Cry, Christine L., ed. "D&0. Aging in #ulture and so#iety: Lom%arati&e &iew%oints and strategies. Je.

=ork: Prae!er. Cry, Christine L., and contrib)tors. "D&". Dimensions: Aging, #ulture, and health. Je. =ork: Prae!er. C)ller, +rs. +arc)s B. "D00. (he wrongs o$ Indian womanhood. Je. =ork: Clemin! 3. Ievell. >allop, Lane. "D&&. (hin/ing through the "ody. Je. =ork: Col)mbia University Press. >an!rade, ;. B. "D&&. 4Crisis of val)es: 9 sociolo!ical st)dy of the old and the yo)n!.6 /n (he aging in India: .ro"lems and %otentialities, edited by 9. B. Bose and ;. B. >an!rade, 2$O#%. Je. Belhi: 9bhinav P)blications. >a)lin, S. L. C. "D&0. 4Se7)al dimorphism in the h)man post1reprod)ctive life1span: Possible ca)ses.6 Qournal o$ *uman -&olution. D:22EO#2. >eertA, Clifford. "DE#. (he inter%retation o$ #ultures. Je. =ork: Basic Books. 888888. "D&#. 4Crom the native:s point of vie.: <n the nat)re of anthropolo!ical )nderstandin!.6 /n Go#al /nowledge: )urther essays in inter%reti&e anthro%ology, %%OE0. Je. =ork: Basic Books. >ennep, 9rnold van. "D'0 ?"D0&@. (he rites o$ %assage. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. >eor!e, (. "D&&. 4+enopa)se: Some interpretations of the res)lts of a st)dy amon! a non1-estern !ro)p.6 Maturitas. "0:"0DO"'. >hadially, Iehanna, and Promod ;)mar. "D&&. 4Bride1b)rnin!: (he psycho1social dynamics of do.ry deaths.6 /n Women in Indian so#iety, edited by Iehana >hadially, "'EOEE. Je. Belhi: Sa!e P)blications. >illi!an, Carol. "D&2. In a di$$erent &oi#e: .sy#hologi#al theory and women6s de&elo%ment. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press. >old, 9nn >rodAins. "D&&. )ruit$ul 'ourneys: (he ways o$ a'asthani %ilgrims. Berkeley: University of California Press. 888888. "D&D. 4(he once and f)t)re yo!i: Sentiments and si!ns in the tale of a reno)ncer1kin!.6 Qournal o$ Asian Studies. $&:EE0O&'. 888888. "DD". 4>ender and ill)sion in a Ia2asthani yo!ic tradition.6 /n Gender, genre, and %ower in South Asian e0%ressi&e traditions, edited by 9r2)n 9ppad)rai, Crank ;orom, and +ar!aret +ills, "02O#%. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press. 888888. "DD2. A #arni&al o$ %arting: (he tales o$ ,ing Bharthari and ,ing Go%i Lhand as sung and told "y Madhu Natisar Nath o$ Ghatiyali, a'asthan. Berkeley: University of California Press. 888888. "DDD. 4+aya.6 /n -n#y#lo%edia o$ women and world religion, edited by Serinity =o)n!, 2:'#%O#'. Je. =ork: +acmillan. >ottlieb, 9lma. "D&D. 4Iethinkin! female poll)tion: (he Ben! of Cdte d:/voire.6 Diale#ti#al Anthro%ology. "$:'%OED. >o)!h, *. ;athleen. "D%'. 4Brahman kinship in a (amil villa!e.6 Ameri#an Anthro%ologist. %&:&2'O%#. >ramsci, 9ntonio. "DE". Sele#tions $rom the %rison note"oo/s. *dited by ])intin 3oare and >eoffrey Jo.ell Smith. Je. =ork: /nternational P)blishers. >ro!an, Sarah. "DDD. Body image: Vnderstanding "ody dissatis$a#tion in men, women, and #hildren. Je. =ork: Io)tled!e. >rover, ;anta. "DD0. Burning $lesh. Je. Belhi: Mikas P)blishin!.

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anthology "y women, edited by Lo 9le7ander et al., %&O'2. Corvallis, <re.: Caly7 Books. 3eesterman, L. C. "D&%. (he inner #on$li#t o$ tradition: -ssays in Indian ritual, /ingshi%, and so#iety. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. 888888. "D&&. 43o)seholder and .anderer.6 /n Way o$ li$e: ,ing, householder, renoun#er, edited by (. J. +adan, 2%"OE". Je. ed. Belhi: +otilal Banarsidass. 3iebert, Pa)l >. "D&". 4<ld a!e in a So)th /ndian villa!e.6 /n Other ways o$ growing old: Anthro%ologi#al %ers%e#ti&es, edited by Pamela (. 9moss and Stevan 3arrell, 2""O2'. Stanford: Stanford University Press. 3irschon, Ienee. "DE&. 4<pen body closed space: (he transformation of female se7)ality.6 /n De$ining $emales: (he nature o$ women in so#iety, edited by Shirley 9rdener, ''O&&. London: St. +artin:s Press. 3ochschild, 9rlie. "DE%. 4Bisen!a!ement theory: 9 critiG)e and proposal.6 Ameri#an So#iologi#al e&iew. $0:%%#O'D. 3ockin!s, Pa)l. "D&0. Se0 and disease in a mountain #ommunity. Je. Belhi: Mikas P)blishin! 3o)se. hooks, bell. "D&$. )eminist theory $rom margin to #enter. Boston: So)th *nd Press. 3)!h1Lones, Christine. "D&&. )rom the mil/ ri&er: S%atial and tem%oral %ro#esses in Northwest Ama1onia. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. 3)ntin!ton, Iichard, and Peter +etcalf. "DEDLele"rations o$ death: (he anthro%ology o$ mortuary ritual. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. /nden, Ionald B. "DE'. Marriage and ran/ in Bengali #ulture: A history o$ #aste and #lass in middle %eriod Bengal. Berkeley: University of California Press. /nden, Ionald B., and Ialph Jicholas. "DEE,inshi% in Bengali #ulture. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. Lackson, +ichael. "D&D. .aths toward a #learing: adi#al em%iri#ism and ethnogra%hi# inKuiry. Bloomin!ton: /ndiana University Press. Lacobson, Boranne. "DEE. 4Cle7ibility in Central /ndian kinship and residence.6 /n (he new wind: Lhanging identities in South Asia, edited by ;enneth Bavid, 2'#O&#. (he 3a!)e: +o)ton P)blishers. 888888. "DE&. 4(he chaste .ife: C)lt)ral norm and individ)al e7perience.6 /n Ameri#an studies in the anthro%ology o$ India, edited by Sylvia Mat)k, D%O"#&. Je. Belhi: +anohar. 888888. "D&2. 4P)rdah and the 3ind) family in Central /ndia.6 /n Se%arate worlds: Studies o$ %urdah in South Asia, edited by 3anna Papanek and >ail +ina)lt, &"O"0D. Belhi: Chanakya. La!!ar, 9lison +., and S)san I. Bordo, eds. "D&D. Gender+"ody+/nowledge: )eminist re#onstru#tions o$ "eing and /nowing. Je. Br)ns.ick, J.L.: I)t!ers University Press. Lain, +adh), and Iamesh +enon. "DD". 4(he !reyin! of /ndia.6 India (oday, #0 September "DD", 2$O ##. Lain, S. P. "DE%. 4Preface to 6 InKuiry into disorders o$ the old, by L. B. Pathak, iOvi. Bombay: +edical Iesearch Centre, Bombay 3ospital (r)st. Lames, -illiam. "D&" ?"&D0@. (he %rin#i%les o$ %sy#hology. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press. Leffery, Patricia, and Io!er Leffery. "DD'Don6t marry me to a %lowmanJ Women6s e&eryday li&es in rural north India. Bo)lder, Colo.: -estvie. Press.

Leffery, Patricia, Io!er Leffery, and 9ndre. Lyon. "D&DGa"our %ains and la"our %ower: Women and #hild"earing in India. London: Red Books. Lohnson, +ark. "D&E. (he "ody in the mind: (he "odily "asis o$ meaning, imagination, and reason. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. L)stice, Christopher. "DDE. Dying the good death: (he %ilgrimage to die in India6s holy #ity. 9lbany: State University of Je. =ork Press. ;akar, S)dhir. "DED. 4Settin! the sta!e: (he traditional 3ind) vie. and the psycholo!y of *rik 3. *rikson.6 /n Identity and adulthood, edited by S)dhir ;akar, #O"2. Belhi: <7ford University Press. 888888. "D&2. Shamans, mysti#s, and do#tors: A %sy#hologi#al inKuiry into India and its healing traditions. Je. =ork: 9lfred 9. ;nopf. 888888. "DD0. Intimate relations: -0%loring Indian se0uality. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. ;ane, Pand)ran! Maman. "D'&OE%. *istory o$ Dharmasastra. 2d ed. % vols. Poona: Bhandarkar <riental Iesearch /nstit)te. ;arve, B. B.. ed. and trans. "D'#. (he new Brahmans: )i&e Maharashtrian $amilies. Berkeley: University of California Press. ;a)fert, Patricia 9., and +ar!aret Lock. "DD2 4-hat are .omen for5 : C)lt)ral constr)ctions of menopa)sal .omen in Lapan and Canada.6 /n In her %rime: New &iews o$ middle8aged women, edited by Mir!inia ;erns and L)dith ;. Bro.n, 20"O20. Urbana: University of /llinois Press. ;a)fman, Sharon I. "D&'. (he ageless sel$: Sour#es o$ meaning in late li$e. +adison: University of -isconsin Press. ;a)shik, +eena. "DE'. 4(he symbolic representation of death.6 Lontri"utions to Indian So#iology, n.s., "0:2'%OD2. ;earney, +ichael. "DD%. 4(he local and the !lobal: (he anthropolo!y of !lobaliAation and transnationalism.6 Annual e&iew o$ Anthro%ology. 2$:%$EO'%. ;eith, Lennie. "DEE. Old %eo%le, new li&es: Lommunity #reation in a retirement residen#e. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. 888888. "D&0. 4(he best is yet to be: (o.ard an anthropolo!y of a!e.6 Annual e&iew o$ Anthro%ology. D:##DO'$. ;eith, Lennie, and Bavid /. ;ertAer. "D&$. 4/ntrod)ction to 6 Age and anthro%ologi#al theory, edited by Bavid /. ;ertAer and Lennie ;eith, "DO'". /thaca: Cornell University Press. ;erns, Mir!inia. "DD2. 4Cemale control of se7)ality: >arif)na .omen at middle a!e.6 /n In her %rime: New &iews o$ middle8aged women, D%O""2. 2d ed. Urbana: University of /llinois Press. ;erns, Mir!inia, and L)dith ;. Bro.n, eds. "DD2. In her %rime: New &iews o$ middle8aged women. 2d ed. Urbana: University of /llinois Press. ;ertAer, Bavid /., and Lennie ;eith, eds. "D&$. Age and anthro%ologi#al theory. /thaca: Cornell University Press. ;eyes, Charles, and *. Malentine Baniel, eds. "D&#. ,arma: An anthro%ologi#al inKuiry. Berkeley: University of California Press. ;hare, I. S. "DE'. *indu hearth and home. Belhi: Mikas.

;lein, Ienate, and Lynette L. B)mble. "DD$. 4Bisempo.erin! midlife .omen: (he science and politics of hormone replacement therapy ,3I(0.6 Women6s Studies International )orum. "E:#2EO$#. ;na)ft, Br)ce +. "DD'. Genealogies $or the %resent in #ultural anthro%ology. Je. =ork: Io)tled!e. ;nipe, Bavid. "DEE. Sa%indi/arana:. (he 3ind) rite of entry into heaven. /n eligious en#ounters with death: Insights $rom the history and anthro%ology o$ religions, edited by Crank *. Ieynolds and *arle 3. -a)!h, """O2$. University Park: Pennsylvania State University Press. ;olenda, Pa)line. "D&2. 4-ido.hood amon! 4)nto)chable.6 Ch)hras.6 /n Lon#e%ts o$ %erson: ,inshi%, #aste, and marriage in India, edited by 9kos <stor, Lina Cr)AAetti, and Steve Barnett, "E2O 220. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press. 888888. "D&Ea. 4Livin! the levirate: (he matin! of an )nto)chable Ch)hra .ido..6 /n Dimensions o$ so#ial li$e: -ssays in honor o$ Da&id G. Mandel"aum, edited by Pa)l 3ockin!s, $%O'E. Berlin: +o)ton de >r)yter. 888888. "D&Eb. egional di$$eren#es in $amily stru#ture in India. Laip)r: Ia.at P)blications. ;risteva, L)lia. "D&0. Desire in language. *dited by Leon S. Io)dieA. (ranslated by (homas >ora, 9lice Lardine, and Leon S. Io)dieA. Je. =ork: Col)mbia University Press. ;roker, 9rth)r, and +arilo)ise ;roker, eds. "D&&. Body in&aders: Se0uality and the %ostmodern #ondition. Basin!stoke: +acmillan *d)cation. ;)mari, Ia2ana. "D&D. Brides are not $or "urning: Dowry &i#tims in India. London: San!am Books. ;)rin, Iichard. "D&". 4Person, family, and kin in t.o Pakistani comm)nities.6 Ph.B. diss., University of Chica!o. ;)rtA, Stanley J. "DD2. All the mothers are one: *indu India and the #ultural resha%ing o$ %sy#hoanalysis. Je. =ork: Col)mbia University Press. LacG)e)r, (homas. "DD0. Ma/ing se0: Body and gender $rom the Gree/s to )reud. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press. La Containe, L. S., ed. "DE&. Se0 and age as %rin#i%les o$ so#ial di$$erentiation. Je. =ork: 9cademic Press. 888888. "D&%. 4Person and individ)al.6 /n (he #ategory o$ the %erson: Anthro%ology, %hiloso%hy, history, edited by +ichael Carrithers, Steven Collins, and Steven L)kes, "2#O$0. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. Lamb, Sarah. "DD2. 4Se7)ality, politics, and contested notions of .omen: Jotes on an abortion in -est Ben!al.6 Paper presented at the 9merican 9nthropolo!ical 9ssociation ann)al meetin!, Becember "DD2, San Crancisco. 888888. "DD#. 4>ro.in! in the net of maya: Persons, !ender, and life processes in a Ben!ali society.6 Ph.B. diss., University of Chica!o. 888888. "DDEa. 4(he be!!ared mother: <lder .omen:s narratives in -est Ben!al.6 Oral (radition. "2:%$OE%. 888888. "DDEb. 4(he makin! and )nmakin! of persons: Jotes on a!in! and !ender in north /ndia.6 -thos. 2%:2EDO#02. 888888. "DDD. 49!in!, !ender, and .ido.hood: Perspectives from r)ral -est Ben!al.6 Lontri"utions to Indian So#iology, n.s., ##:000O00.

Lambek, +ichael, and 9ndre. Strathern, eds. "DD&. Bodies and %ersons: Lom%arati&e %ers%e#ti&es $rom A$ri#a and Melanesia. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. Lancaster, Lane B., and Barbara L. ;in!. "DD2. 49n evol)tionary perspective on menopa)se.6 /n In her %rime: New &iews o$ middle8aged women, edited by Mir!inia ;erns and L)dith ;. Bro.n, EO"%. Urbana: University of /llinois Press. La7mi, Mi2ay. "D&2. 4;eepin! .rinkles at bay.6 )emina, 2# JovemberOE Becember "D&2. Lee, Iichard B. "DD2. 4-ork, se7)ality, and a!in! amon! S;)n! .omen.6 /n In her %rime: New &iews o$ middle8aged women, edited by Mir!inia ;erns and L)dith ;. Bro.n, #%O$&. Urbana: University of /llinois Press. Leslie, /. L)lia. "D&D. (he %er$e#t wi$e: (he orthodo0 *indu woman a##ording to the 4Str3dharma%addhati.> o$ (ryam"a/aya'&an. <7ford: <7ford University Press. Lindholm, Charles. "DDE. 4Boes the sociocentric self e7ist5 Ieflections on +ark)s and ;itayama:s Lulture and the Sel$.6 Qournal o$ Anthro%ologi#al esear#h %#:$0%O22. Lin!er, Baniel (. "DD$. 43as c)lt)re theory lost its minds56 -thos. 22:2&$O#"%. Lock, +ar!aret. "D&2. 4+odels and practice in medicine: +enopa)se as a syndrome or life transition56 Lulture, Medi#ine, and .sy#hiatry. ':2'"O&0. 888888. "D&$. 4Licorice in Leviathan: (he medicaliAation of care for the Lapanese elderly.6 Lulture, Medi#ine, and .sy#hiatry. &:"2"O#D. 888888. "D&'a. 49mbi!)ities of a!in!: Lapanese e7perience and perceptions of menopa)se.6 Lulture, Medi#ine, and .sy#hiatry. "0:2#O$'. 888888. "D&'b. 4/ntrod)ction.6 Lulture, Medi#ine, and .sy#hiatry. "0:"O%. 888888. "DD#. -n#ounters with aging: Mythologies o$ meno%ause in Qa%an and North Ameri#a. Berkeley: University of California Press. Lock, +ar!aret, and Jancy Scheper13)!hes. "D&E. 4(he mindf)l body.6 Medi#al Anthro%ology Wuarterly. ":'O$". L)tA, Catherine 9. "D&&. Vnnatural emotions: -&eryday sentiments on a Mi#ronesian atoll and their #hallenge to Western theory. Chica!o: University of Chica!o Press. L)tA, Catherine 9., and Lila 9b)1L)!hod, eds. "DD0. Ganguage and the %oliti#s o$ emotion. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. Lykes, +. Brinton. "D&%. 4>ender and individ)alistic vs. collectivist bases for notions abo)t the self.6 Qournal o$ .ersonality. %#:#%'O&#. Lynch, <.en +., ed. "DD0a. Di&ine %assions: (he so#ial #onstru#tion o$ emotion in India. Berkeley: University of California Press. 888888. "DD0b. 4(he social constr)ction of emotions in /ndia.6 /n Di&ine %assions: (he so#ial #onstru#tion o$ emotion in India, edited by <.en +. Lynch, #O#$. Berkeley: University of California Press. +acBonald, Barbara. "D&'. 4<)tside the sisterhood: 9!eism in .omen:s st)dies.6 /n Women and aging: An anthology "y women, edited by Lo 9le7ander et al., 20O2%. Corvallis, <re.: Caly7 Books. +acCarlane, 9lan. "DE&. (he origins o$ -nglish indi&idualism. <7ford: Basil Black.ell. +adan, (. J. "D&E. Non8renun#iation: (hemes and inter%retations o$ *indu #ulture. Belhi: <7ford

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Stephen 9. +ar!lin, "$2O&". <7ford: Clarendon Press. +ar!lin, CrederiG)e, and P)rna Chandra +ishra. "DD#. 4Sacred !roves: Ie!eneratin! the body, the land, the comm)nity.6 /n Glo"al e#ology: A new arena o$ %oliti#al #on$li#t, edited by -olf!an! Sachs, "DEO20E. London: Red Books. +ar!lin, CrederiG)e, and S)Aanne L. Simon. "DD$. 4Ceminist <rientalism and development.6 /n )eminist %ers%e#ti&es on sustaina"le de&elo%ment, edited by -endy 3arco)rt, 2'O$%. London: Red Books. +ark)s, 3aAel Iose, and Shinob) ;itayama. "DD". 4C)lt)re and the self: /mplications for co!nition, emotion, and motivation.6 .sy#hologi#al e&iew. D&:22$O%#. +arriott, +c;im. "D'&. 4Caste rankin! and food transactions: 9 matri7 analysis.6 /n Stru#ture and #hange in Indian so#iety, edited by +ilton Sin!er and Bernard S. Cohn, "##OE". Chica!o: 9ldine. 888888. "DE'. 43ind) transactions: Biversity .itho)t d)alism.6 /n (ransa#tion and meaning: Dire#tions in the anthro%ology o$ e0#hange and sym"oli# "eha&ior, edited by Br)ce ;apferer, "0DO$2. Philadelphia: /nstit)te for the St)dy of 3)man /ss)es. 888888. "DD0. 4Constr)ctin! an /ndian ethnosociolo!y.6 /n India through *indu #ategories, edited by +c;im +arriott, "O#D. Je. Belhi: Sa!e P)blications. 888888. "DD$. Lara/a8Sam!hit:. Selections from 3ind) biolo!y. Photocopy, Social Sciences Bivision, University of Chica!o. 888888. "DD&. 4(he female family core e7plored ethnosociolo!ically.6 Lontri"utions to Indian So#iology, n.s., #2:2EDO#0$. +arriott, +c;im, and Ionald /nden. "DE$. 4Caste systems.6 /n -n#y#lo%aedia Britanni#a. "%th ed. #:D&2OD". 888888. "DEE. 4(o.ard an ethnosociolo!y of So)th 9sian caste systems.6 /n (he new wind: Lhanging identities in South Asia, edited by ;enneth Bavid, 22EO#&. (he 3a!)e: +o)ton P)blishers. +arshall, 3elen. "DD'. 4<)r bodies o)rselves: -hy .e sho)ld add old fashioned empirical phenomenolo!y to the ne. theories of the body.6 Women6s Studies International )orum. "D:2%#O'%. +artin, *mily. "D&E. (he woman in the "ody: A #ultural analysis o$ re%rodu#tion. Boston: Beacon Press. 888888. "DD2. 4(he end of the body56 Ameri#an -thnologist. "D:"2"O$0. +artin, Linda >. "DD0. 4(he stat)s of So)th 9sia:s !ro.in! elderly pop)lation.6 Qournal o$ Lross8 Lultural Gerontology. %:D#O""E. +a)ss, +arcel. "D'E ?"D2%@. (he gi$t: )orms and $un#tions o$ e0#hange in ar#hai# so#ieties. (ranslated by /an C)nnison. Je. =ork: -. -. Jorton. 888888. "DED ?"D#%@. 4Body techniG)es.6 /n So#iology and %sy#hology: -ssays, DEO"2#. (ranslated by Ben Bre.ster. London: Io)tled!e and ;e!an Pa)l. 888888. "D&% ?"D#&@. 49 cate!ory of the h)man mind: (he notion of person, the notion of self.6 /n (he #ategory o$ the %erson: Anthro%ology, %hiloso%hy, history, edited by +ichael Carrithers, Steven Collins, and Steven L)kes, "O2%. Cambrid!e: Cambrid!e University Press. +ayb)ry1Le.is, Bavid. "DED. 4C)lt)ral cate!ories of the central >e.6 /n Diale#ti#al so#ieties: (he Ge and Bororo o$ #entral Bra1il, edited by Bavid +ayb)ry1Le.is, 2"&O$&. Cambrid!e, +ass.: 3arvard University Press.

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