Purification1

Chitragupta, the secretary of the god of death Yama, 2 records many sins in bold letters in his ledger which are unknown even to the perpetrators. But there are other sins which are known only to those who have committed them. The one am about to relate here belongs to the second type. ! confession, before have to account for my action to Chitragupta, will, with some luck, make the sin lighter. The incident occurred yesterday, a "aturday. The #ains in the locality were having a feast, and was passing by in a car with my wife $alika. %e were invited for tea at the home of our friend, &ayan 'ohan. 'y wife(s name is $alika, which literally means )a bud.* t was given to her by my father+in+law, not me. ,er name does not fit her behaviour, as her ideas are more like fully bloomed flowers. %hen recently she picketed against the selling of British cloth at Baraba-ar, she did it with such fervour that her followers proudly dubbed her ).hruba Brata* or )she of unwavering conviction.* 'y name is /irindra, which means, )the king of the mountains.* &ot that her devotees care much about the significance of my name0 they know me as )her* husband. But too have a bit of significance by /od(s grace, owing to the virtue of my inherited wealth, and the members of her political party cast an eye on it when it is time for collecting donations. !bsence of similarity between a husband and wife makes a marriage more harmonious, like that between a piece of dry earth and a stream. have a rela1ed personality and take things easily. 'y wife(s temperament, on the contrary, is e1tremely rigid0 she clings to whatever occurs in her mind. This disparity is what keeps peace in our family. But we have not found accord only in one area of difference. $alika believes that do not love the country. "he is so fi1ed in her view that no matter how much evidence produce of my love for the country, she refuses to accept it because it fails to match her party(s symbols of patriotism. have been a book enthusiast since childhood0 every time hear of a new book go and buy it. 2ven my enemies would acknowledge that read the books purchase, and my friends know very well that not only read but also like to discuss them. 'y passion for arguments has, in fact, driven all my friends away, e1cept one, Bon Bihari, with whom have lively sessions every "unday. ,is name means )roving in forests,* but because of his unsocial nature, call him )$on Bihari,* or )room+rambler.* "ome nights we sit and chat on the roof till two o(clock in the morning. The present time is of course not the best time for book lovers. 3n the one hand, the sight of a copy of the Bhagavad Gita in any house is a conclusive evidence of sedition for the police0 on the other, the
1 2

Bengali title4 )"hangskar.* 5irst published in Prabasi, !shar 1677 8#une+#uly 1629:. Chitragupta is a ,indu god assigned with the task of keeping a record of the actions of human beings on earth, and on deciding whether they should be sent to heaven or hell upon death. Yama, on the other hand, is the lord of death in ,indu tradition. Yama is also the lord of ;ustice and is sometimes referred to as .harma, with reference to his unwavering devotion to maintaining order and allegiance to harmony.

nationalists see the possession of the cut pages of a British published book as a mark of treason. They consider me a brown coloured, white island+born renegade. These days, the nationalists even refuse to worship the goddess "araswati, the goddess of learning and elo<uence, because of her white comple1ion. They have raised an outcry that the water of her divine lake in which the white lotus blooms, far from abating the wretched condition of our motherland, is only flaring it up. don(t wear homespun khaddar in spite of the good e1ample set by my wife and her continuous nagging. This has nothing to do with the pros and cons of khaddar or that am fussy about clothing. t is rather the opposite. may be accused of many lapses in my patriotic nationalistic intentions and activities but being dapper is not one of them. wear simple and shabby clothes and dress in a dishevelled way out of habit. Before $alika(s recent political transformation, used to wear broad+toed shoes bought from the local China market, which often forgot to polish and keep clean. 'oreover, found putting on socks irritating, and wearing loose kurtas more comfortable than proper shirts, and cared the least if those kurtas lacked a button or two. "uch habits, indeed, threatened to destroy our marriage at one point. $alika would warn me, )=ook, feel embarrassed to go out with you in public.* would reply, )There is no need to be an obedient wife. 5eel free to go out on your own.* &ow the time has changed but my fate is still the same. $alika still says she is ashamed to go out with me. couldn(t accept the costume of her band members then, and can(t accept the uniform of her party members now. Thus, my wife(s shame in me has remained unchanged. The fault lies with my personality. %hatever may be the ideology of a group, feel shy to dress in sectarian attire. have not been able to overcome this feeling, and $alika failed to accept my difference of opinion as final. =ike a mountain stream pushing a big rock fiercely but meaninglessly, $alika can(t help ceaselessly ;ostling with opinions different from her own. !ny contact with views contrary to her own makes her restless, creating an irresistible itch in her to respond. Yesterday, as we were getting ready to go out for tea invitation, $alika brought up the matter of my non+khaddar outfit for the millionth time, and in a tone that was anything but polite. couldn(t help rebutting her insults because of my intellectual pride > an innate tendency in humans that inspires them to such futile efforts. "o in an e<ually acerbic tone said to her, for the countless time, )%omen like to cover their god given power of sight by pulling the end of a thick black bordered sari over their eyes and tie their mind to custom. They find it easier to obey than to think. n every important aspect of life, if they can avoid having to think and decide for themselves and confine their life, instead, to the -enana of social conventions, they are happy. %omen are so e1cited about khaddar because in our custom+riddled country it is turning into a virtuous convention and, like wearing garlands and the sandal paste mark on a ?aishnava mendicant(s forehead, is seen as a sign of religiosity.*

$alika began fuming in anger. "he screamed so loudly that the maidservant in the ne1t room must have thought that the mistress was scolding the master for tricking her with some ;ewellery not made of pure gold. "he said, )=ook, the day wearing khaddar becomes a natural part of our culture, like bathing in the holy water of the /anges, this country will be saved. %hen a code becomes one with habit, it turns into a custom. Thought, when it finds a clear shape, brings purification. @eople then work with full conviction, without having to think twice.* Clearly those were @rofessor &ayan 'ohan(s words, only the <uotation marks had disappeared. $alika now considered them her own. ! silent person has no enemy,* > whoever came up with that aphorism must have been unmarried. %hen chose not to respond, she became ;ittery, and yelled, )You only talk about caste discrimination but practically do nothing to redress it. But we are trying to paint a colour of unity over that disunity with our khaddar uniform, and replace caste disharmony with the fellowship of all.* was about to say, ) ndeed, overcame caste distinction with my mouth first, the day tasted the chicken curry prepared by a 'uslim cook. "o my conversion is not merely verbal but also in action, which comes from the soul. To dress up caste differences in a new garb is superficial0 it only conceals but doesn(t obliterate.* But having thought of those words, didn(t have the courage to e1press them. am naturally a timid man, so kept silent. 5or know from e1perience that $alika carries the altercations we spontaneously have at home to her friends, like laundry washing where they are violently thrashed and twisted. Aeturning armed with counter+arguments from her visits to the @hilosophy professor &ayan 'ohan(s house, she fires them off at me and stares in a savage, silent way that seems to say, )&ow tackle that if you can.* was not interested a bit to attend &ayan 'ohan(s tea invitation that evening. was sure that a hair+splitting discussion on the comparative role of tradition and novelty, the logical and illogical in ,indu culture, and why our country is superior to all the other countries in this regard, over cups of steaming tea would create an oppressive atmosphere, through the blending of mists from tea cups, hot air and foggy ideas. Besides, had some new books which had ;ust arrived from the bookseller, waiting e1pectantly by my dumpy bolster, in their gold+blocked covers and uncut pages. had a glance at them while still in their brown wraps, but hadn(t fully unpacked them yet, and as we were about to leave the house felt an incipient urge to unwrap them. Yet had no choice but to go, because knew that any impediment to .hruba Brata(s will+force would, either in words or through silence, create a huge commotion which would be detrimental to my health. %e had ;ust travelled a short distance from the house in our car. Coming past the tube+well and reaching close to the back of the temple, where a pot+bellied confectioner from Central ndia made all kinds of deep fried unsavoury items, we came upon a terrible uproar. saw some of our neighbours from the 'arwari7 community walking in a procession towards
7

The word has a geographical connotation and refers to people from 'arwar and Aa;asthan who came to $olkata for business and trade. 'arwaris are predominantly ,indus and #ains, and speak the Aa;asthani language, one of the %estern groups of ndo+!ryan languages.

the temple, with e1pensive offerings for the gods in hand. Their ;ourney also had come to a halt here. %e could hear people yelling and sounds of beating. thought some pickpocket was being punished. 'oving slowly past the agitated people in our motor car, after repeated honking of the horn, we came to the centre of the ruckus and saw our old municipal sweeper being brutally smacked by everyone. ,e had ;ust taken his bath at the tube+well, put on fresh clothes, and set out on the street with a bucket of water in the right hand and a broom under his arm. .ressed in a che<uered, loose+sleeved ;acket, his wet hair neatly combed, he was walking with his eight or nine year old grandson holding his left hand, both well+built and handsome in appearance. .uring the hustle on the street, they must have accidentally touched someone, resulting in this merciless beating. ,is grandson was crying and pleading to everyone, )@lease don(t beat my grandfather.* The old man was repeatedly appealing with folded hands, ) didn(t notice, didn(t realise, it(s my fault, please forgive me.* The more he was saying it, the more the devotees of non+violence became inflamed. Tears ran down the old man(s frightened eyes, and his beard was daubed in blood. t was an unbearable sight. To get into a fight with the violent mob was beneath me. decided to take the old sweeper into my car and show that couldn(t support their sense of religion. $alika saw my uneasiness and immediately knew what was in my mind. "he held my arm with all her strength and said, )%hat are you planningB ,e is a sweeper.* said, )"o what if he is a sweeperB "o they(ll un;ustly beat himB* $alika said, ) t(s his fault. %hy did he have to walk in the middle of the road like thatB %ould it have hurt his pride to stay at the sideB* ) don(t care about that,* said. ) am determined to get him inside the car.* $alika replied, ) n that case, (ll step out right here. won(t ride with a sweeper0 if he was a fisherman or an undertaker, would have considered, but a sweeperC* said, )=ook, he(s ;ust had a shower and is wearing fresh clothes. ,e is much cleaner than most people in that crowd.* )"o whatB ,e is a sweeper.* "he then told the driver, ).rive off, <uick, /anga .in.* was defeated. am a coward. !t tea, &ayan 'ohan tried to e1plain the situation with profound sociological theories, but didn(t pay any heed. &or did care to answer.