The Effects of Gay Partner Bereavement

University of Liverpool study nds unique set of circumstances and lack of support
By Steven Piatczanyn, PhD Psychology Researcher, and Kate Bennett, Reader in Psychology and Chartered Health Psychologist, University of Liverpool
to the virus in the days before medical advancement that is offered in the present day. Non HIV/AIDS losses such as Martin (32), who lost his partner to a heart attack, described in great detail the final days before and after the event relaying social events and even arguments they both had days before the loss. Words such as scarred and angry were commonplace on the voice recorder regardless of cause as were resilience and now being a survivor. Many men lost their partners before the introduction of civil partnerships and discussed the frustration of having to deal with legal issues and unreasonable family members all fighting for prime position and having little respect for the surviving partner. Philip, said I was fighting with his family over the funeral arrangements even though we had been together 15 years! Age and geographical location is also significant with little support being offered for bereaved men in general in the UK. David (73) who lost his partner of 30 years to a stroke said, Im utterly on my own, there are no gay support groups here where I live. It feels like we are invisible to the rest of society. The men did not like the word widower or bereaved spouse but could not find a word that describes their new status. It is certainly not about simply ticking the

The validation of relationships and the acknowledgment in life and of course death by society that we live is incredibly important. If you already have this you are in the majority and this will no doubt make life easier. The death of a same sex partner presents challenges that are little known and rarely reported in the UK. Having interviewed 30 gay bereaved men on a one to one basis to date it has become apparent these men in society are inspirational yet are currently un-heard by the same society. Not only have they lived through often-prejudicial times in attitudes through decades, they have also lost same sex partners in often tragic and unexpected circumstances whilst still young in body and mind themselves. Current research is HIV/AIDS-led with evidence rarely reported from other causes in an LGBT bereavement arena. HIV/ AIDS experiences are usually told from the viewpoint of the surviving partner who is also usually the caregiver during this difficult time. Philip (40) discussed the physical deterioration of Daniel (57) due

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The death of a same sex partner presents challenges that are little known and rarely reported
obligatory box that we are all forced on occasions to do whether we like it or not. More importantly it is about acknowledging a relationship, love and precious time two people shared together that has now ended yet will never be forgotten - whatever its shape or form. Steven and Kate are undertaking research into gay/bisexual partner bereavement at the University of Liverpool. If you can help or have any questions about this research please contact them on steven.piatczanyn@liverpool.ac.uk or kmb@liverpool.ac.uk

Open to all
NCPC works to remove inequalities in access to and experience of palliative and end of life care wherever they exist. In 2010 we joined forces with the Consortium of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Voluntary and Community Organisations to explore access to and provision of services at the end of life for older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGB&T) people. We found that some LGB&T people do not feel that end of life care services are open to them and/or are concerned that they will face discrimination and a lack of understanding. We produced a report, Open to All, and associated DVD which are both available to order from our online shop at http://shop.ncpc.org.uk

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