You are on page 1of 4

TANK WITCHES: TREAD BOOGALOO - ROUND ZERO

There is a female voice that penetrates your dreamless sleep... "Colonel, you can't sleep in all morning, today is the day you are finally given command of the 101st 1st company! Aren't you excited !et up!" the voice says as someone sha"es you in #ed. "$gh." is all you can manage as you rise out of #ed, trying to ru# the fog out of your eyes. %ou go put on your service dress... &hich doesn't seem to fit all that 'ell anymore, #ut you 'ill have to deal 'ith it, as you don't have anything else appropriate at the moment. "( heard the last of the 'itches have arrived, if you hurry, you might catch them #efore they start feeling each other up." The short #londe 'omen says... )he loo"s oddly familiar, #ut you cannot remem#er in your current state... %ou gra# your trusty &e#ley *" (+ service clu# er ")ervice revolver" and head ... &ait 'here do you head ,As" the #lond ,-on't as" for directions ,&here the fuc" am (, 'here the fuc" do ( go, and 'ho the fuc" are you "%ou are Colonel .ent of the ne'ly formed 101st /an0erhexe 1ehr division, the #est troops, training, and e2uipment that earth can provide. ( don't "no' if ( should #e offended, you calling me your aide %ou don't even remem#er your old friend ( guess some#ody at your age can get a'ay 'ith faulty memory. They are pro#a#ly milling a#out in the mess hall or may#e in the hangars.." 3nough fog has cleared from your eyes to see that it is indeed an old friend, one you even served 'ith in 4rance during the #lit0. !od it is good to see the *a5or again.. ,&hat no' "&ell, ( could go for some tea... And did you call me old " "%es. ( am in my t'enties, you aren't. ( hear that 6erry ma"es good coffee, especially at this time of day. &atch out though, one of the 'itches is vicious..." *ile's trails off.. " ( am needed else'here though, so ( 'ill leave you too it. 7eed to go to !loucester for a command meeting. !ood luc", you 'ill need it." ,8h #oy here 'e go As you approach the mess you come across a 9ritish commando, at least someone dressed li"e half of one... The upper half that is. )he hasn't noticed you yet as she is too #usy having a smo"e. )he has short #ro'n hair, a slim, #ut tall #uild :And a decent rac";. ,&hat do 1uc"y for you, you actually read the roster. "*orning Captain..." :&ell fuc", you cant remem#er &<(C< &(TC< captain it is...; "/ine=coffin." &hat... "Captain >uth /ine=coffin /ara='itch. ( 'ill #e serving in your third platoon Colonel." )he says as she loo"s your 'ay. ".... %es. That is my last name."

")o 'hats for #rea"fast " ")ome "raut is ma"ing it, and ('m not going though that again... ( am going to go to sleep, had to escort transports all the 'ay here from /ortsmouth..." And 'ith that, she 'al"s a'ay, tossing the #utt of her cigarette over her shoulder As you enter the mess, you smell only the s'eet s'eet smell of coffee, 'hich offends your tea= drin"ery=self to the core. As you prepare your tea, you loo" around and see four #odies in #lac" !erman=issue pan0ertruppen uniforms, and one in a light #lue uniform that you don't recogni0e right a'ay, all sitting at one ta#le eating 'hat loo"s to #e a #asic #rea"fast of eggs and toast. ,&hat do %ou 2uestion 'hy a !erman coo" 'ould ma"e only eggs and toast... 7o' that you thin" a#out it, you have no idea 'hat they even eat other the sauer"raut and schnit0el... &hat the hell is schnit0el any'ays &hy do you as" non=rhetorical 2uestions to yourself %ou gra# a plate, fill it full of delicious eggs? n toast, and head over to the ta#le. As you get closer, you can see insignias from this range,:and the lac" of clothing on the #ottom half;, t'o Captains and a trio of 1eftenants "*ay ( sit 'ith you ladies " you as". "%ou outran" all of us Colonel, you can do 'hatever you li"e" one says. %ou couldn't tell 'ho it 'as 'ith all the food che'ing and 'hatnot. ,Tal" to 'hich 'itch ,Captain 'ith a light #uild, short #lac" hair, green eyes, pale s"in ,Captain 'ith an athletic #uild, again, short #lac" hair and #lue eyes ,1t 'ith an average #uild, supreme frontal protection, Au#urn hair and #lue eyes ,1t 'ith another athletic #uild, shoulder length platinum=#londe hair and #lue eyes : ( s'ear not everyone has #lue eyes; ,1t 'ith smaller #uild, #londe hair and green eyes :pic some'hat related, as you get closer you see it is a 4innish army uniform; %ou effortlessly slide into a seat next to one of the captains, the pale one. " <o' are you dealing 'ith a mixed unit love " you say as you loo" across the ta#le at the 4inn, 'ho finishes che'ing and s'allo's. "1ess >ussians then ( expected. ( 5ust 'ish 'e had a loo"er li"e you in <eeresgruppe 7ord. &ould have improved 'itch morale." )he replies. )he goes to 'iggle her eye#ro's 'hen she is 5ammed in the ri#s 'ith the el#o' of the .raut 'ith das assets. "The colonel is out of your league (lta. ('m 1t .lara .nispel. 9eside me here.." she nudges the 4inn again" (s 1t 1ita (lom@"i. Captain 9ar"mann is on your left flan", Captain &ittmann on your right.. And..." .lara starts to ru# her temples. "And last #ut not least is our o'n 1t 3ma Tarca0y, our local

<ungarian.A" "( am impressed .nispel, you managed to remem#er something other then your o'n name!" &hittmann pipes up. Almost immediately they get into a shouting match in !erman, after a fe' shouts, &hittman gets up, and leaves the hall. "%ou #etter eat that 'hile it's hot, eggs don't "eep 'ell and tea is horri#le if cold." 7ever in your life, have you heard a line delivered 'ith such a lac" of emotion, as if the 'itch 'as a god damn alien ro#ot or something. %ou end up follo'ing the advice and drin" do'n your tea n eggs. ,&ut no' "-id you 5ust tell me ho' to en5oy my tea Captain " %ou turn to #ring your ga0e to #are upon her... And she isn't paying you any attention, as she is too #usy "eating" these runny eggs..$gh. ")o .nispel 'as it &hat #ad #lood is there #et'een you and &ittmann 7o' that 'e are fighting against the same foe, you 'ill either need to deal 'ith it. ( don't 'ant my o'n allies to sho.." The <ungarian raises her hand "-on't 'orry a#out it, she has some pro#lems on ho' lax chesty here can get 'hen off duty, as 'ell as the fact .nispel has alot more "ills 'ith the ne' Ausf 3 /an0er +(." %ou go to reply, #ut you are at a loss for 'ords.. "(t's almost a ritual no'. %ou 'ill soon get used to it. ( #elieve the rest of our unit is inspecting the stri"er #ays, if you are done 'ith your #rea"fast. /ardon my earlier advice ColonelB ( did not mean to offend." 9ar"mann says in almost complete monotone. "!uess ( should go meet them. Than"s for the company. And 1ita, love, ( may #e attractive, #ut ( don't s'ing that 'ay." %ou get up from the ta#le, 'al" into the "itchen, curse out the chef, and head to'ards the sti"er#a... 9loody hell, 'hich hangar is the stri"er #ay... ,Time to #ugger off ,Time to #ugger off %ou head off to'ards <angar C, to 'here they "eep your precious. %ou round the corner and see that the hangar contains many an armoured #east. %ou spot it no pro#lem. %ou shuffle over too it and ru# it's side armor, painted the #est colour, olive dra#. &eighing in at C0 short tons, your she's a #it heavy. 'ith 1Dft E inches of length, Fft 'ide and 10 ft tall, she 'as the 2ueen of the #attlefield, #ut needing a G man cre' made her a #it of a 'hore:insert 5o"e a#out G men in a tan" here;. %ou remem#er seeing her hull GHmm gun rip martian 'al"ers apart, and the CGmm turret mo' do'n martian infantry li"e the #est of them. &ith a top speed of IJ"mKh she 'as surprisingly fast for her si0e.....

Too #ad the !rant suc"ed so hard #ecause of shoddy side armor, #eing a tall #ugger, even the soviets, you "no', the guys 'ho sent 'ave after 'ave of infantry against german machine gun nests 5ust to save artillery rounds, they didn't li"e it, calling it the "coffin for G comrades"! And a fuc"ing hull sponson (s this 'orld 'ar one all over again %8$'+3 )337 4$C.(7! *.I TA7.) &(T< 93TT3> !$7 /1AC3*37T! %ou feel li"e you 5ust patted the head of the class retard. "%ou tried your #est, at least one good thing came out of you, the hull for the *I )herman." %ou turn around, trying to forget you ever even loo"ed at a 1ee. %ou suppress the urge to thro' up as approach your one true armoured companion.... .no' 'hat the #est part a#out your #a#y is 8ther then the L41Gpdr. And t'o G.FJmm 9esa=machine guns The a#ility to also mount all the other 'eapons a 'itch 'ill ever need. 4lamethro'ers Chec" 4uc"=huge JF0mm mortar rounds you can lo# li"e demolition charges Chec" -ecent GHmm gun Chec" 9reastplate Chec" *a"es you loo" taller Chec" )houlder=mounted Cinch <o'it0er Chec" 9ayonets every'here Chec" 7o' if only you had #ad=ass sponson guns li"e your old *"I stri"er you had in the last 'ar... !od you feel old

You might also like