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5 Scientifically-Backed Shyness Tips And Little-Known Psycholo ical Techni!"es That #ill $ake %o" $ore Social and &onfident http'((shynesssocialan)iety*com(how-to-overcome-shyness(
+n This Article,
- Bi .easons #hy %o"/re Still Shy* Discover why your shyness is not your fault, and how the people you trusted gave you bad advice. 0#eird1&onversation Tips* Learn a simple technique for always knowing what to say next. Also, 2 conversation !LL"#$ you absolutely must avoid. How To &han e %o"r Personality* "veryone tells you to %be yourself&. !'ll show you how to ()A*+" yourself instead. ,his is the secret to making people like you.
See the "y on the ri ht2 ,hat guy used to be the quietest guy ever. ,he most shy person you would ever meet. ! know, because that's a photo of me.
+ "sed to 3e the "y who 3arely talked around people ! didn't know well. ! had a hard time keeping a conversation going or thinking of what to say. + was often nervo"s and an)io"s* "specially talking on the phone or in front of groups of people. ! D#"AD"D public speaking. + had never had a irlfriend 3efore* !n fact, ! was still a virgin at 2- years old despite being a decent.looking guy. + didn/t have a solid ro"p of friends* Although ! was comfortable being by myself, ! really wished ! could have a few friends. $ometimes ! got so bored when ! was lonely. ! didn't understand why people didn't seem to like me all that much. + was also insec"re a3o"t the way + looked* ,his D"/!*!,"L0 didn't help my confidence.
!f you can relate to what !'m saying so far, then !'ve got good news. 1n this page !'ll share with you some little.known techniques and ideas you can use to overcome your shyness. !ncluding a simple technique that will let you always know what to say next in conversations. 2ut before ! get to that, the question you may be asking is3
0#ho Are %o"4 And How 5id %o" Overcome %o"r Shyness21
4y name is $ean (ooper. "very month thousands of people come to my website to learn how to overcome shyness or social anxiety. !'m considered an expert in the area. 2ut it wasn't always like this. 6rowin "p4 + was invisi3le* !n fact, ! tried to 4A " myself invisible. *ever raising my hand in class, talking quietly, keeping to myself during lunch, not doing much outside the house, not making friends, and so on. ,his was me all throughout elementary school and high school. $ometimes ! feel like ! wasted those years when ! could have made some lifelong friends and created some memories. After that ! moved out of my parent's house to go to university. ! was going to a university in 1ttawa 5that's the capital city of (anada6. $tarting the year, ! had high hopes. ! thought that maybe ! would be able to %start fresh&. 4aybe if ! got away from the people ! knew in high school ! could let go of my old shyness. 4aybe ! could make some friends and 3 who knows 3 even get a nice girlfriend. 2ut my hopes were soon shattered. Although ! had moved to a new place 3 ! reali7ed something horrible. + was still me* ! had carried %my old self& with me to the new city. 4y old insecurities and fears came rushing back as soon as ! moved into my room. ! was living in a big house with eight roommates and3 guess what8
%Did you see $ean this week8& %*o, ! barely ever see him at all. 9hat do you think he does all day8& %9ho knows8 4aybe he's sitting in his room watching porn. )e's a pretty weird guy.& + felt like + wanted to crawl into a hole* ! won't bore you with the details, but it was around that time ! decided to try something desperate. ! decided to spend several months going through every psychology book that was even a little bit related to shyness. ! read scientific studies, ! read the bestselling %(onversation ,ips& books at the bookstore, ! listened to audio programs and video seminars on confidence.
+ma ine 3ein a3le to talk to anyone effortlessly* *ever worrying about what to say next or whether you're going to create an awkward silence. +ma ine 3ein a3le to walk into a room of stran ers and confidently introduce yourself to anyone and make a good first impression. +ma ine 3ein a3le to walk over to someone yo" find attractive and strike up a conversation3 get their number3 and go on a date later in the week. 50es, !'ve done this plenty of times.6 +ma ine 3ein a3le to 0fit in1 at any party or ro"p conversation instead of standing off to the side. 1r worse, avoiding groups altogether because you'll be too quiet, boring or uninteresting.
And the list could go on. 2ut this post isn't meant for me to brag about what ! can do. !t's about giving you some useful information. $o you can start experiencing the same results. !'ll start off with3
;* :o3ody 9ver 6ave %o" Specific4 Actiona3le Steps To Overcome %o"r Shyness
,he first reason why you're still shy is because of bad advice. 9hen ! was shy, the only advice ! heard was;
%<ust talk:& %<ust be social:& %<ust pretend to be confident:& %/ake it 'til you make it:&
1kay, sure3 HO#7277 ,he problem is, advice for overcoming shyness is ==> garbage. !t's usually given by people who have never had the problem themselves. 0our parents, friends, or teachers simply don't understand it. ,hat's why they tell you the types of useless phrases ! listed above. "ven the published books and articles on shyness usually suck. ,hey're usually written by psychologists who know a lot about the causes of shyness, but don't know how to overcome it. 1r they're written by people looking to make some quick cash. 4ost books ?ust tell you to %focus on other people& or stand up straighter. #arely do they give any concrete techniques or steps that make a difference in the real world. ,his is why ! decided to make this website. ! wanted to share the tips and techniques for overcoming shyness that ! had proven to be effective. ,he difference is that !'m speaking from personal experience. ! think that %shines through& in most of the articles ! write here. ,he second reason why you're still shy is because3
0ou may not be able to make conversation with strangers easily, but there's probably one or two people in your life who you can talk to effortlessly. 0ou may not be able to make a speech in front of many people without sweating and shaking, but you can talk to one person comfortably. 0ou may not be able to make eye contact with someone you are intimidated by 5like an authority figure6 or someone you are attracted to, but with other people it's much easier. 0ou may be !"iet and hard.to.hear when there's lots of people listening, but when you're in a private room you can speak as loud as you want.
$o stop assuming shyness is a part of your personality and turning it into an unchangeable identity. Don't say; %,hat's the way ! am.& $ay; %!n this situation3& $hyness is a set of thoughts and behaviors you have learned to use in certain social situations. This also means yo" can "nlearn these tho" hts and 3ehaviors and replace them with new ones. !'ll explain how a little later on this page. /irst ! need to teach you something pretty cool3
ST9P -' %o" notice the threads* $ounds tough, but it's really easy. Let me explain3 Threads are 3asically topics or 0s"3>ect words1 inside a sentence* "very sentence has a few of these threads in it. /or example, take the sentence, %! saw 2ob at the mall last $aturday.& ,he threads, or topics, could be 2ob, mall and last $aturday. All threading is, is noticing these topics and then saying something about them, which is3 ST9P ?' Pick a thread and respond* $o for the last sentence you simply pick one of the topics mentioned and say something about it. $o let's respond to the threads in the last example;
Bo3 B ! tried out for the football team with 2ob last year. )e made quarterback and crushed all the new guys. $all B )ave you been to the mall lately8 ! can8t believe they8re closing down the movie theatre to build a new clothing store: Last Sat"rday B Last $aturday ! went camping for a family reunion. ! never want to share a tent with my brother again.8
,he cool thing is, all of these replies will make the conversation flow smoothly because they relate to what the other person said before you. 2est of all, this simple technique is ama7ing at eliminating awkward pauses once and for all: "asy as pie
#emember to ,"$, this technique out in the real world. ! may take you a few tries to get the hang of it. 2ut once you do, you'll find that making conversation has become several times easier: $ince you've taken the time to read this far down the page, !'ll also share with you two more tips3
!f you only give a one.word reply to someone, then you're making it hard for them to continue talking. !f you are asked something that can only be answered in a one word reply, make sure to follow up with a question C statement. 9)ample'
Them B Are you still going to college8 %o" B *o. ! decided to take a break for a year to travel and get some work experience at D0E (ompany.
0ou added something to the conversation and bam: 0ou have something new to talk about:. Like %9here did you travel8& or %! know <im who works at that company&.
,he worst thing you can do is ask several of these questions in a row. !t'll feel like you are interrogating the other person. !t's much easier for the other person to contribute if you keep your questions open-ended.
%o" B 9hat do you think of this musician8 Them B )e's not my favorite, but ! don't mind him because he sounds like 2ob Dylan.
4akes sense8 [Note: Right now this page is under construction. I'll be adding more in the near future.]