Who are you? Katie demanded as if she was personally offended by my dietary choices.

She gave me a look of both confusion and disgust, her eyebrows raised, her eyes squinting, and her lips pursed. I chuckled. I was all too familiar with this standoffish glare. I repeated simply, I just dont eat meat. Why? my friend was now exasperated, clearly unable to understand my lifestyle as a vegetarian. Well, it was more than half a decade ago I began dramatically.

At the vulnerable and ignorant age of twelve years old, I stumbled upon the website of the audacious and controversial People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. (Ironically, I was munching on a scrumptious piece of bacon at the time.) A self-deemed animal rights activist, I nodded furiously in agreement as I perused their anticruelty articles. In a moment of fervor, I decided to crank it up a notch by exploring their videos. I was immediately assaulted with images of gore and shrieks of agony. Assuming the classic position of horrified curiosity, I cupped my hands over my face but spread my fingers just wide enough so I could still see. Ducks and geese asphyxiated to death as they were force fed gallons of corn meal, a diet meant to enlarge their livers to abnormal sizes. Piglets squealed as their tails were clipped off. Their mothers cried as they were tamed with electric rods. Chickens were cramped in wire cages ten times too small, their legs unable to support the weight of their hormone-fueled bodies. Cows dangled from the ceiling by chains, their slit throats pouring blood onto the stained concrete. I think I may have cried.

Emily Zhao, 10/28/1995

By the time dinner rolled around, I had thoroughly lost my appetite. My father, a chef always proud of his cooking, was completely insulted when I refused to eat his meat-filled dishes. I explained to him the terrible pictures that were imprinted into my mind, but he didnt care. In fact, he was so furious that he insisted that I make my own food from now on; I obviously didnt appreciate his. Crazy, he threw his arms up in disbelief, gravy-covered spatula in hand. I tried my best to feed myself over the course of the next week. However, as a preteen with a fear of knives and a strong tendency to burn things, cooking was incredibly difficult. My dad also seemed to be sabotaging my efforts, whipping up his meaty delicacies night after night as if to purposely spite me. Exacerbated, I soon gave up my conquest to solely consume vegetables, and with the smell of chicken wings as my ultimate tempter, I fell back into my carnivorous habits.

I knew you couldnt do it, My dad concluded through a mouth full of meat some time later. Confused by what he meant, I asked him to elaborate. Well, Emily, you see, you are a fantastic starter but an awful finisher. It was only a matter of time before you abandoned your petty fight for the animalsthats what you always do. He brought up more examples to fortify his point. He recounted the times that I dreamed of being author, an aspiration that only ended with a binder of incomplete short stories. He reminded me of all the activities that I had participated intap dancing, swimming, piano lessons, soccer, figure skating, acting only to subsequently quit them awhile later. He added to the list my recent bout of vegetarianism that he claimed didnt even last three days.

Emily Zhao, 10/28/1995

Now, it was my turn to be mad. My cheeks burned red and I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. I was so angry because he was so right. Realizing that the majority of my life was indeed an accumulation of half-lived and half-completed endeavors, I set out to prove my father wrong. And, I did so with the most irksome way I could imagine; I made the decision to be a vegetarian for remainder of my life. Not only would this choice make for a valiant act of teenage rebellion, but it would also provide me the much-needed opportunity to validate myself, for my own sake. With an unparalleled surge of determination, willpower, and motivation, I did everything I could to prevent myself from ingesting meat. I checked out from the library numerous books about the harmful effects of factory farming. I signed up for a beginning vegetarian kit online. I discovered a theory about how world hunger could be solved if everyone adopted a diet of vegetables. I wrote two research papers, one detailing how detrimental a diet of meat can be for the human health, and the other explaining how the meat industry propagates antibiotic-resistant bacteria. (Even though I had severely gone over the page limit for each essay, I surprisingly received As on both.) As my interest in film peaked, I watched numerous documentaries that advocated vegetarianism, my favorites being Vegucated and Forks Over Knives. With each reason I found to deter me from meat, maintaining my dietary habits became easier and easier. Before I knew it, I had gone five years without eating meat. Upon reflection, my decision to meet my meat was either the most boneheaded thing I could have ever done or the boldest, because the terrible insight that I gained from that unfortunate PETA video ultimately steered me down my road of vegetarianism. While most people believe that my refusal to eat meat is just a matter of what I choose to ingest, it is so much more to me. It has given me the opportunity to add to my life a source of consistency, an ongoing

Emily Zhao, 10/28/1995

constant. Its allowed me to be bold, to be different from the overwhelming norm. It provides me with the chance to do the impossible, for I never in a million years thought I could give up meat. Of course, its always been a difficult lifestyle to maintain. For years, my mom pleaded me to return to my old omnivore ways, convinced that I was going to die from lack of protein. People arent short of judgment either. Whenever I reveal that I dont eat meat, almost everyone looks at me as if I have a mental illness. Those who simply dont understand it have even tried to undermine me, placing bacon bits in my salad when I leave the table. Restaurant menus are also limited and many chefs, like my dad, are unwilling to compensate for my diet. Despite all these struggles, I have somehow been able to persevere, reminding myself that I have more than enough reasons to continue with my diet.

I still dont get it, Katie announced as she received her piping hot Five Guys burger. Meat just tastes so good. How do you do it? The delicious scent of perfectly cooked beef wafted toward me. While tempting, I didnt let it faze me. How can I not? I responded, My dads tofu is amazing. Yes, he cooks for me now all vegetarian delights, too. However, this doesnt stop him from constantly complaining that feeding me is a hassle and that the food he prepares for me is a waste of his culinary talents. But, I know, that deep down, he is truly proud of my efforts and supports my never-ending refusal to eat meat, even if it annoys him severely.

Emily Zhao, 10/28/1995