T hur sd ay. [OE.

Þunres-, pur(e)sdaeg,
‘day of Thunor or Thor’,
infl. by ON. Þórsd agr ; so
(M)Du. Donderdag, G.
Donnerstag; Teut. rendering of
late L. dies Jovis (It. giovedì, F.
jeudi) day of Jupiter.] 1. The
fifth day of the week. 2. Holy
Thursday. a. Thursday in
Rogation Week, Ascension
Day ME. b. Maundy Thursday,
Sheer Thursday 1645.

a …z

(2nd edition)
 3/10/96 (Port Germein (no 58)). When we came back from our first walk on the pier
they were gone. Which solved the problem of whether to drive the van to the pub 300 yards away or
leave it by the pier. The night was very balmy for our second walk and we saw two guys ‘walking’
their boat towards their tractor closer inshore. In the middle of the night I heard some falls and
other noises around the car but didn’t see anyone; then for the rest of the night I heard voices
intermittently which must have been coming from the public shelter next to us (previously a
loading shed) or from the pier. Nevertheless I slept well. At about 5.45am, still well before ☼rise, I
heard a ‘hello’ outside the open of the van. It was an aboriginal teenage girl; I shook my head and
with a ‘shut-eye’ gesture indicated that I wanted to be left to sleep. But I was awake by then and later
heard men’s voices too. There are only 3 aboriginal families in the town and nevertheless the half-
castes have managed to have some impact on our lives. (14/5/05. Oh, god! Were we really that
hideously, righteously WHITE (28/5/05. th@s me (29/5/05. ‘pinko-grey’ iz mor kkur8 but)) and
MIDDLECLASS (28/5/05. spot on)– I have been ashamed to type that sanctimonious stuff – it demeans the
writer and the subject and shows just what bigoted bastards we were then. We may even still be, though
my embarrassment and discomfort while I was typing may indicate that years of political correctness have
had the desired effect. That in itself is interesting – behaviour modification through language control? Do I
have to give governments credit for making me aware of my baser behaviour? My sincere apologies to
those people at Port Germein for my ignorance and lack of humanity. Helh&z) I suppose that this episode
of black meeting white is typical of the relationship between the races (14/5/05. You had better put in a
few interpolations (24/11/08. Naom Chomski  tzwot langwj zorl O) A…Z or your name is gunna be
MUD!! (23/5/05. (31/5/05. my  n10dz 2 llow vrius (& ppsit) ntrprt8shnz (a là Borges (c 21/3/05 –
25/3/05 p14) or Heraclitus?) & MY NAME kan b ternd → wotsovr ny1 wishz (7/4/09. & howO
“To the weak I am weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that
I might by all means save some.”!! – Paul  1 Corinthians 9: 22)) I m a prdukt of th same
euro svlz8shn wich wile preechn how GOD iz mrsfl & just dspozst th brjneez & dstroid thr kulture
wthout dmitn gilt & wil dstroi orl uthr waiz of livn whch do not kkomod8 thmslvz 2 th rkwiremnts of
wstrn tknljkl st8s (26/5/05. Is that a fancy way of saying its not your fault or responsibility? Helh&z
(26/5/05. u just wont let me off th hook!)))). Its very still out there this morning and the sun is warming
up the – time to get up. Before we had a chance to start our pier walk the red-neck (14/5/05. How’s
that – the pot calling the kettle black) sprung us again; he told us that there is a saying in the north that
you’re better off masturbating than living with a gin; don’t know if it applies to women too. He has a
way of seeing things from just his own point of view. Otherwise he was full of very good info about the
locality. I think he had too sharp a mind for a small place like this and occupied it by knowing
everyone else’s business. He was a rather sad case because it was clear he would have liked to talk
on forever, but I was glad to get away from him & his little . After the pier we did a walk along the
beach to collect more of the gi mussel which are called razor . Many are poisoned with
lead residue from the Port Pirie smelter nearby. Then off towards Melbourne.
1/10/98 (DANYO RESERVE (no 53)). I was right, H was just working up to a …. (24/1/05
Never you mind what I was working up to – its not for publication. helh&z) Yesterday evening I d k beer
by the beach just as you would in the tropics for the temperature never dropped below 30ºC, I would
guess …. (24/10/05. More of what’s not your business. helh&z) …. we set off across the beach for a
wash in Spencer Gulf. Only problem was it was low tide and we never reached the water so after 10
mins walking straight out to sea we turned back. When we reached the shore we couldn’t find the car.
We did finally and since it was H’s birthday we cracked the bottle of dolceta sitting on the box out
back of the car as the temperature was still 30ºC or so. We were both starkers and I took a photo of
the occasion. When we woke up later this morning I felt shit – like a roué. The birthday was
completed with the card I gave her. Then on a stinken hot day and in a h ing gale we made our way
half way along the Port Germein pier for a dip in the ocean by way of a wash. So that was H’s 56 th
birthday celebration (22/11/08. Wednesday 1/10/08 (no 69)). I have 10 this en in the
Danyo Reserve where we are at the very place we made a few years ago, just past Murrayville.
18/2 /99 (The Hat (alt. title: jehovah) (no 27). ( Monday 3/12/01 (no 67))).
Walked along the cliff edge & shoreline to Betangabee. I was hoping to get a lift back either with the witnesses
or Ross & his mate but the only people there were the couple Id met on 13/2/99 whod been to Mootwingee &
their son from Canberra with his wife. They gave me a lift back to Pulpit Rock where the vehicle in the car park
2
apart from my van was that of the witnesses. So I went down to where they were ing to say goodbye again
& to give them my Where Its At cassette as a gift to the Smiths. I like the idea of giving leading edge music
from New York, Vienna etc to someone in Ensay, a real hick dying town in the Victorian alps. The Mootwingee
people told me that the witnesses had been playing country & western music in the evenings & tonight theyll be
playing Ivo Perelman wailing non-stop for 20 minutes on the sax. Adam (Warren actually lives in Metung)
asked me if he could take a copy before passing the cassette on to the Smiths. Its a fair deal as their chances of
liking it are about equal to their chances of converting me to jehovah. Then I drove to Saltwater Creek as I
thought it would be fitting to leave for home tomorrow from there after first checking out ‘the aquarium’ today
which I had found so thrilling when I was here with Kate & in which I first saw many of the species of Ive
been seeing on this trip. I also popped into Hegarty Bay for a snorkel & though both places were as beautiful as
ever the conditions were rather poor, too much swell & poor visibility due to plankton & occasional . There
is new track work & signs being put in here. Now you can walk along a track to Boyds Tower in one direction
& Green Cape in the other. I am putting in the names of the witnesses as they would be very disappointed if I
forgot.

Warren Willman (Reynolds Rd, off Punt Rd) of Metung

Adam Cadd of Ensay (ph: (03) 51573236)

It has been a good idea to concentrate on one task so single-mindedly as otherwise I could have
abandoned the snorkelling objective because of the northeast swell but by being determined found even better,
protected waters in Disaster Bay. I feel cleansed by the beauty of the underwater scenery & ready to get d k on
sangrias at the Bocadillo bar tomorrow night.
10/8 /00 (14/8/41 (no 8)). The dead cry out. I try to lay down the ghosts; once again. The pro
m is that every issue I review challenges fundamental assumptions about human behaviour. The men who shot
the children had to be insane but we know that in their domes lives they behaved quite normally. The
germans who were the instigators were from the most modern nation on earth and also the best eed and the
bene iaries of a marvellous cultural tradition. Tsvetan Todorov has argued, using Primo Levi to
support his point of view, that it is the capacity to divide himself into mutually exclusive compartments that ena
d the guard to be a caring father after work. My own review of the way the memory of the murder of the 
 has been suppressed by people of lithuanian background that I mix with supports the view that people can
know but at the same time hide the knowledge from themselves. Its not always easy to do though (20/3/09. “In
Hitler’s Germany a particular code was widespread: those who knew did not ; those
who did not know did not ask ??; those who did ask ?? received no answers. In this way
a typical German citizen won and defended his ignorance, which seemed to him
sufficient justification of his adherence to . Shutting his , his  and his , he
built for himself the illusion of not knowing, hence not being an accomplice to the things
taking place in front of his very door.” – Eugene Kogon  The Theory and Practice of
Hell). The lithuanians have found it necessary to expunge the  even from their his . It seems we have
a capacity to ‘draw the veil’ (as Frank Lovece put to me) over entire areas of our knowledge (22/11/08. “Why
have I the feeling of having been there already - a long time ago? Don’t we in fact know
in advance all the landscapes we see in our life? Can anything occur that is entirely new,
that in the depths of our being, we have not anticipated for a long time?” – Bruno
Schulz). Psychologists say this is what happens with victims of incest. Freud explained neurosis in terms of
suppressed experiences that had to be brought out into the conscious mind so that sufferers could gain the
required self knowledge to tackle their pro ms. For a time I toyed with the idea that if we could only break
down the walls between the differ rooms of our personality and the barriers that separate us from others
(which may amount to the same thing), if we allowed ourselves to see the consequences of our actions, if we
acted in broad daylight instead of the dead of night we wouldnt be able to commit evil. But the children, women
and old men of Butrimonys were shot in broad daylight in groups of fifteen. Whats more if it were not for the
ability we have to shut parts of ourselves off from others we wouldnt be able to sleep at night because we
would hear their screams. If they were una to suppress their memories survivors wouldnt a to  the
future. If we were not a to dull our senses to the pain of others we wouldnt be a to walk down an ordinary
Melbourne city street without being const ly traumatized. Our a ity to divide ourselves into mutually
exclusive compartments is a protective device which like the air-tight compartments in the hull of a protect
us from sinking.
3
 Todays is Lawrence of Rome (martyr, ?-258) who was killed by being slowly roasted on a gridiron.
Constantine the Great had an oratory erected over his tomb on the road to Tivoli which was replaced in the 5th
and 6th centuries by the Basilica of “ Lawrence-beyond-the-Walls” which is to this day one of Rome’s seven
principal churches. Lawrence is the Patron of the poor and of cooks, and is invoked against lumbago & .
I called in at Port Augusta to shop up for a few minor items but especially for a half dozen stubbies of
Southwark Old Stout which are waiting for me in the back of the van right now (5pm). Rang Helen who is back
at work but sounded very choked up. She says Vi is about to start physiotherapy and should get enough
mobility to be a to go back to the old peoples home. Rang Andrew Saniga’s mobile (in Perth) and left a
whispered message that he may guess is from me. I think I made the words ‘Port Augusta’ almost audi . I am
next to the road near the dry  of Lake Finnis on Oakden Hills Station. There was no one at the homestead so I
left their newspaper which I had picked up 13ks back on the highway with a copy of my Meditations on
Lake Gairdner (23/11/08. ntholg no 5: album vovr 200 fotoz & 7 short ) attached to it with a rubber
band (23/11/08. ie th7 ) on their front porch. I’m 27ks further along the track. Mahanewo Station is
another 34ks further westwards and Lake Gairdner’s eastern shore 20ks further again except I dont know if
there is a decent track to it. I only have enough petrol in the tank to get there and back to Pimba to the north.
Not finding anyone at Oakden Hill homestead was a downer as I was hoping they would ring ahead to
Mahanewo. If Mahanewo is also unattended I’ll just have to turn around and go back. Might stop right here for
a couple of days and do a few walks before I try my luck. On a red sand track that goes for 74 kilometers after
leaving the highway there are only two stations. I am parked roughly half way between them. There wont be
anyone driving past tonight.
17/8 /00 . There are two today so I’ll use one to t and one to finish. Hyacinth (Confessor
1185-1257) was a native of Polish Silesia and of no es . He was made a Canon of Cracow after
receiving his doctorate in law and divinity. Because of his three missionary journeys, covering 40 years –
always on and in danger from barbarians and wild beasts – Hyacinth is called “The Apostle of the
North”. He preached in Pomerania, Lithuania, Denmark, Sweden and Norway in the north, in Russia and the
Ukraine in the south, and even reached far off Tibet and China in the east. As an old man of 72 he returned to
his central monay in Cracow, and died soon after. Innumerable miracles are recorded in connection with his
life’s work. Poland reveres him as its principal Patron.
Last night I slept like a child. Its strange how getting it out in words should have such a physiological
consequence. Perhaps words arent just bu that burst out and dissipate in spray. In ena ing the achievements
of science, of course, they are immensely powerful packages of instructions. Reflecting on it now I wonder if
also in the discourse that I’ve described as the one that attempts to answer the question why, the one that I am
primarily concerned with, they are not more import than I thought earlier. Even the simplest noun such as
rock, stove,  is learnt by little children as an enormously complex set of consequences and directives before it
finds its solid shape as a noun. And each of them depends for its meaning on the work it is doing in a sentence.
Moreover every direction in making a word meaningful to a child has required a consensus over meaning (or
coordination of commands) between the adults that teach them. When I take all this into account I can’t escape
the conclusion that if it were to be analysed into its component actions the complexity of the simplest sent
is mind-boggling. Viewed in this way language can be seen to be a finely articulated semaphore, as much an
expression of the body as tai-chi or physical jerks. It can be seen to be the body in motion. That would ex
why I slept so well!! Perhaps language is a worthy instrument for a conversation with angels after all. Should
that be so it is ex mely import it seems to me how we say things, that we speak honestly and admit what
we dont know. Anyway, I got up well before dawn meaning to pay a courtesy visit to the MacTaggarts at
Oakden Hill homestead on the way out of the area to Woomera where I planned to shop up. As it turned out its
a big day at the station as they are mustering a paddock of about 17 x 8ks. On the way I passed two young
people on trail bikes that I suspect to be their adult children. The girl sounded to me like a sophistied city
person. Perhaps they come home just to help in the muster. I wanted to tell the MacTaggarts (Andrew & Penny)
that it was me that had left the Meditations on Lake Gairdner poems on their doorstep with the
newspaper a week ago. Andrew MacTaggart (chairman of the board that is responsible for maintaining the 
fence in S.A.) was about to head up in his  but was as generous in directing me to where I am now as Paul
Manning had been at Mahanewo. He gives the impression of being something of a country squire. Penny
MacTaggart was cooking but also about to head off for the muster. I think she might have been taking over the
moveable enclosure which I could see on the back of a ute. They even lent me a detailed 1:100,000 map
of the property which is 1706 sq. km. And yes! I’m just near the shore of Island Lagoon 26ks from the station
(Andrew said 20 miles and he meant it) and its every bit as magnific as Lake Gairdner (Andrew M. grew up
at Moonaree which borders the lake on the opposite side to Mahanewo). I went for about a 4½ hour walk in the
4
middle of the day out onto the lake which is all covered by a thick glittering salt crust and then north and
back along a fence , in all about 20+ks. I saw a crimson chat which is a bird I dont see often. Picked up a
dried out lizard with a striped back, of the skink family, but its tail broke off in my pocket. Found a rusted
dingo trap and brought it back to the van to put with the s  I picked up yesterday to take back to
Melbourne. The lake is named after the island you can see in the dist like a pyramid with a flat top. It looks
like a mirage or something from myth or a way station prior to the last journey. Perhaps the local aborigines
thought about it like that. Its too far out to walk to from here but it is hugely visi from the highway to
Woomera. That view was what had drawn my attention to Island Lagoon last year and I had half a hope I may
find a way to the shore on this p – now here I am. Its my birthday in two days and I couldnt have asked
for a better present.
The second is Clare of Montefalco (Virgin c.1268 – 1308) who was a native of the Umbrian town
of Montefalco near Spoleto. She lived from the age of six as a recluse with her sister Joan; when others wished
to join their dedicated life of utter poverty, the convent of the Holy  was founded under the Augustinian Rule.
Clare, who was already considered a , and who had always been favoured with a sense of spiritual union
with God, passed through 11 years of dryness, but thereafter received numerous mysal gifts from God,
including ecstasies and supernatural knowledge. Indulg towards others, ever perfect in humility and charity,
she submitted her own body to severe fasts and rigorous austerities and through them was able to reconcile
enemies and lead here to the true faith. Our Lord’s Passion was the const theme of her meditation. Her
, on which is imprinted the image of the , and her body have remained remarkably incorrupt to the pres
day.
7/9/00 (7/9/00 – 16/9/00 (no 10) (23/11/08. pom wch ts th :

perhaps it is too pedantic

to discuss

whether object causes motion

or the motion defines matter

is it the wind that shakes the branch

or has the branch given life to air

is the flower beautiful

or did perfection form the flower

can you see the dancer

or is the dancer hidden in the dance

does the dreamer dream

or has the dream possessed the man

did the flute produce the tune

or has the tune been waiting for the flute

I don’t really care about the answers

but the spirits that I talk to
all claim in their conceited way
that it is they that speak to me

). Bas came to Stalactytes. He reckons the Victor Pelevin I should read is Clay Machinegun. The
waitress only charged me $13 for the souvlaki, coffee & 3 glasses of greek red. She said it was because I was a
regular, or v.i.p. customer. Thats o.k. with me! Went on to the catholic shop and got the I was looking for
yesterday – the biography of Fr. Pio, the last ‘ ’ declared by the pope. Have ted reading it. Dont know what
to make of the (today I read a short summary of the life of Edith Stein) other than that they have chosen the
intense life (& eccentric). Is that the essence of it? They would claim (& do) that its their devotion to christ that
is the paramount thing. I have an open mind. One thing for sure: words are the least part of what makes them
5
the way they are. Nor does the emphasis on physical austerity appear to have any connection with the example
set by christ himself whose life appears to be neutral in this respect. I do not want to accept anything as being so
just because thats the way its 10 up but neither do I want to close my mind to possi ities I have no personal
evidence of. Helen is a bit upset tonight because Vi seems to be having trou deciding whether she should have
an operation for what has now been definitely described as cancer by the doctors. I think that if she is going to
accept blood t sfusions every few weeks she should have the operation because the prognosis is that the bowel
will get b ed in a couple of months anyway. Personally I would choose not to have the op. and reduce the t
sfusions hoping to  without pain from loss of blood.
14/9/00. As I was reading the paper over the coffee I have for breakfast I stopped with the thought
“when is enough enough?” – how many signs are needed? Suddenly I remembered the name of the second
contender for issuing Secret Order No. 3: Vytautas Reivytis. Both the ‘vytis’ in the surname and the ‘Vyt’ in the
first name come from Grand Duke Vytautas, the first king of lithuania to be crowned by the pope. The em m
on the shield (‡) of the ‘vytis’ which is the lithuanian national em m is a refer to the christian . The ‡ and
the man with the raised  is a fittingly aggressive and decisive image to be connected with the extermination
of the  – rather a better em m than the itself. I have a bunch of them all neatly arranged on a shelf and
just as I was having a good look at them I remembered my roman coin that I had bought years ago as a pres
for Helen for $30 – yes! it is of the same Constantius Chlorus who as a young army officer married Helena (see
en for August 18th in 14/8/41 story). It has a bust of him on one side and on the other him receiving
‘victory’ on a globe from Jupiter. I had never previously looked at the coin closely enough to note any of this
detail and certainly did not know the connection with the name Helen. I am exing the signific of all this
to Helen who is visi y shaken but has promised to remain calm. I also told her about the american submarine
called ‘Corpus Christi’ which is the most powerful weapon on  with about 100  aboard each armed with
3 H- war. I also exed to her how I know that every crew member aboard is insane. She had come home
already upset because the hospital has told her they have to put off the operation for 3 weeks because the
government has put a moratorium on non emergency surgery (the surgeons are proba y at the olympic games).
I told her it didn’t matter – Vi is 85. Previously the doctor had said the growth could b the bowel within 2
months. I am about to read The Zahir by Borges which is about this kind of experi though without its
specific signific . It occurs to me now that the sign I suggested was a kind of christian cross on the ‘vytis’
shield may be nothing of the sort but an em m of the house of the Vytautas Dukes. Later the polish nobility (the
litho aristoc adopted polish as their language) claimed to be descended from the Samartians which the
romans used to hire as mercenaries, one entire conting of which incidentally (together with families) ended
up in england soon after its conquest by Caesar. The Samartians were mounted men in armour who have left
no trace and about whom nothing else is known. In rec years with the excavation of anci burial mounds
some of the crests of the no ity or something similar have been dug up in these, perhaps Samartian mounds. It
is thought that the picture weve developed of the classic mounted medieval knight originates from the earlier
Samartians. (23/11/08. thnd pom 2 7/9/00 – 16/9/00 (no 10):

remembering that like wood

I am made mainly of carbon
when I die
process me into a piece of foolscap

and on it
write these words

here is a piece of paper

with nothing on it but
some foolish words
and if you multiply the words
by the number of lines
divide by the number of verses
and add one then you will
have a good definition of a fool
and if the cap fits wear it

6
 by the way
the number is
460 )

5/10/00 (4/10/00 – 5/10/00 (no 13) (23/11/08. pom wch ts th :

the doctor
pulled out my wisdom tooth
and told me
I’d be none the less wise for it.

furthermore, he said
my children will have no wisdom teeth at all :
the environment of modern man
leaves jaws insufficiently developed for wisdom teeth.
nor will they be any less wise for the absence.

but I wonder
how carefully he looked inside my head;
perhaps there was nothing there
as wise as my wisdom tooth.
perhaps that’s what he meant.
I am further confused by the suspicion
that without my wisdom tooth
I lack the wisdom to understand the situation.

even the nurse disturbed me

when she told me that the doctor
had his pulled out
long ago.

). When I put the pen down last night it was because I was building up to a big topic. (I promised Peter
Murphy to  about it) – Paranoia, and I didn’t feel I had the energy to launch myself into it straight away.
Now I put in a couple more possi y relev details that preceded my departure on the morning of tuesday 19 th
(see story 2/10/00). A few days earlier I had gone to reverse the van out of the drive (Helen was standing on
the path 10 yards away) but after ting it I found it wouldnt budge one centimetre as if it was ed into
place, neither backwards nor forwards. I repeated the procedure and exactly the same happened again. So the
third time I jammed it into gear hard so as to jerk the car by the sudden engagement and the car lurched back as
if something had snapped and I was a to reverse out as normal. I said to Helen I dont know what that was
about, thats never happened 4. The other event I remember at about that time was that on an occasion when
Helen  the hospital (perhaps to cancel an endoscopy appointment or about Vi) the  made a series of clicks
(I was standing next to her) that made me wonder if a  tap was being installed and I motioned to her to indi
e my concern. She paid no attention indicating she though it was a ridiculous idea. Maybe …  are playing
up; Kate says her and Jocks  is always making funny clicking and whirring sounds and yesterday I noticed
Ben’s  also misbehaves. So lets say its normal exchange pro ms – I keep an open mind but am suspicious. So
this completes the background to the events I described at the t of 2/10/00.
Two weeks later I can say that I’ve had an affair with Paranoia. It was the first time I’ve met her and
though it was brief it was an intense one, quite a ride in fact, something on the wild side. In the first week we
spent our nights together, intertwined. I believe she was partial to my kind of intensity, fed off the heightened
state of awareness I was in, relished my extra acute sense of smell and hearing, my sharpened peripheral vision,
my inclination and capacity to draw together dist symbolic threads and metaphors, and may I say at the risk
of appearing immodest, my ramp sexuality. For my part, I found her pres rather overwhelming,
smothering, and her touch lacked finesse. Once she lost her mystery (a big mistake for a woman who wants a
long affair) I found her almost inst ly boring. Now that our whirlwind rom is over I dont regret having had
it for it was necessary if I was to further my understanding of the condition. Everything has a purpose.

7
 Here are some conclusions. Paranoia feeds off the kind of heightened sense of awareness that artists are
particularly prone to when making intuitive marriages between dist things that are not normally seen to go
together. A key feature of this state-of-being is a recognition that all things are connected and that people are in
continuous touch with each other as members of a great being just as intimately (& in analogous ways) as the
cells communie with each other in the body (forget all that stuff about bwaves, psychic phenomena,
common subconscious (etc.) – thats for the uneed). This is the basic groundwork and in itself it need not be
threatening, the (who were not because of the church but in spite of it) have found it a source of
strength as have many artists. Pro ms arise for people who have things to hide (or to fear) for once you realize
that we are all one it becomes evid that nothing can be hidden for though we use words to disguise the truth
our knowledge of hidden things remains intact at non verbal levels and we can come to feel very exposed. You
realize there is nowhere to hide. These problems get increased exponentially if there is serious disparity
between what people say and what they do – especially if those people are close to you or if they are in
positions of authority such as doctors. I advise the victims of Paranoia, for she is nothing if not promiscuous
(she gets around) to always remember and act on the basis that words mean nothing when they are not backed
by action or are at odds with it – in those cases always respond only to what is done never to what is . If
someone tells you that they  you (& especially if they keep saying it again & again) dont believe them; they
really mean they need you. If they say they are doing it for your own good you can bet that they are doing it for
their own good. Children, if your parents tell you they are going to punish you for the good of your soul
because they love you dont believe them. If the scientists say they have invented a new drug that is good for
altzheimers pati what they really mean is that they have invented a drug that is good for the carers of
altzheimers pati because it will put the pati into a comatose condition where even the last remaining
shreds of their self awareness, the rage and terror from the suspicion that their b are turning into mush will
be taken away from them so theyll stop misbehaving. If shrinks force large dosages of drugs on schizophrenics
for their own good dont coope e. The drugs will put you into a fog and then mess up your b chemis so
badly that it may put you into a depression from which you may not be a to climb out of for years if ever. They
are doing it to you not for your benefit but for the benefit of institutions and other pretend do-gooders whose
real interest is to keep you managea . The terrible capacity and compulsion to think the opposite way to
everyone else is an evolutionary safeguard which in a just society is a curse the schizophrenic has to bear but in
an insane society it is a gateway to another way of behaving. That is why I am  for all those who think the
opposite way (note this Frank). I offer some modest practical advice as an alternative to large continuous
dosages of psychoactive medications: a very small dose of largactil mixed with as large a dose of valium as you
like enhanced with alcohol and taken when judged to be required by the person himself is not a bad safety
valve. I used some of this mix on about three or four occasions over the last week as I do for short rations
every few years. Unfortunately you probably have had to be seriously ill at some stage in the past to have had
the opportunity to learn by trial and error the exact mix that is right for you. It also helps if you have been
exposed to humane doctors who dont view you simply as someone to manage. And to broaden the scope of
these comments let me say that when children t killing themselves with heroin and other drugs you can be
absolutely sure that their plight (their self sacrifice) does not call out for them to be ted but for society to be
radically changed.
Last night after I stopped  as I was ing through the photo album looking for spreads to use for the
back and front page of this story I found two photos missing. Helen exed that they were the photos that she
ed to the police when she put me on the missing persons file (you got to laugh!!). So … even though my en
on the file has been erased (according to the cops) there is a folder at the station with the two photos in it. The
folder has my name on it. Inside with the photos there are reasons given (all lies) why the photos are there.
Perhaps this information is also stored in digital form for the police have always kept their own records which
they dont acknowledge to have. I have been tagged as being a danger to myself and everyone knows that
potential sui cases are also a danger to others (e.g. by committing sui by driving a car into oncoming traffic).
And its all lies. I have neither said nor done a single thing to indie that I might be a danger to myself and all
my kids will vouch for that. I lead the intense life and I love what I do more that anyone I know. I would not
want to swap places or lifestyles with anyone. Meantime last week while I was on that wild 4 day ride with
Paranoia my kids were terrified I was going to  myself solely on the basis of what Helen had told them. My
protection that it not happen again is to  it down in the fullest detail I’m capable of with the guarantee that I
am prepared to be judged in front of anyone by what I’ve 10. With me the spoken word counts for least, the
10 word for much more as I am confid of my powers of expression given the ch to have reflected on
what I ; and how I act is more authorative again. As I’ve been  this paragraph Helen (without any
8
prompting from me) has come in with the following 10 statement which she has agreed to attach to this
account (she has since left for the Heidelberg Police station to retrieve the photos). As for me I also make a
declaration: eccentricity, unpredictability, intensity, cynicism – I admit to those sins. And incidentally I repeat I
have the right to choose how and when I’m to . But to assert that right doesnt mean I’m planning to do it in
the near future. (23/11/08. th woz n b  : “Thursday 5th October 2000 ¶ I, Helen Zizys, acknowledge
that I have no right or responsibility to interfere with the decisions and actions of John Zizys which affect
him in regard to his choice of lifestyle, travel or any activity of his choice. ¶ I will not contact or notify in
any way any agency (CAT team, police, medical profession) to interfere with him. ¶ I acknowledge that my
previous action in so doing was an infringement of his civil liberties, and though done without malice and
with good intentions, caused him much suffering and extreme stress. ¶ I wholeheartedly apologise for this
and promise in future to allow him to make his own choices without any pressure or interference from third
parties or myself. ¶ Helen M. Zizys”)
(23/11/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 1. (nos 1-16 of anthology))

30/11/00 (27/11/00 – 7/12/00 (no 17) (24/11/08. pom n on :

and suppose

that one old and very wise fish

as he floated slowly, suspended
among the caverns of his life
breathing oxygen freely given
by the garden of moss and weeds,
feeding on the bread that rained
like manna from his fishbowl sky
became aware, in the garden of his mind
that every trembling, every darting fish
however small,
left a ripple on his soul,
and the garden that fed him freely
freely took the food he gave,
till suddenly he knew he was only
one small link
in an everlasting chain

and then

with the glassy eye of age

he saw the hand
that dropped the manna from the skies

what could he say to

the suffering and the blind?
what could he say to
the dying and the dead?
what could he say
to the boisterous school of fish he ruled?

I am old and cannot teach you how to dance

I must do my rounds in the confines of the bowl
the dancer dances to a song we barely hear
the hand that feeds you dances in the sky

). I am at a site called Wellington Yards from where there is a marked track to Lake Tali Karng. Was woken
before dawn this morning by kookaburras who were soon joined by uncompromisingly loud wake up calls of
many large birds nearby. Even an joined in for a final hoot. So I read The Book of Daniel & completed
reading the Mark gospel from yesterday evening. I was interested to check what words jesus of nazareth
9
was reported by mark to have used to describe his own status. Its 9.15 & I’m  this short en while the coffee
cools down. Firstly I came across the clearest statement yet of his denial to be god. When a man up to him &
greeted him with the title ‘good master’ he told him not to use the word good as only god is good. If words
mean anything (even though meaning is always changing) this is as clear a disclaimer as can be made. To the
question by the high priest “are you the christ, the son of the blessed?” he replied that he was & added that they
would see the son of man sitting on the right of power. To pilates question “are you the king of the ” his
answer was: “you said it”.
Drove to the next bridge where there is a car park for the t of various walks including the Lake Tali
Karng one which is 17ks & 16 river crossings away. After 8 crossings the track went to the top of a low hill with
a rather good alpine view. It was the place to turn around though only about a third of the way along. My Five-
Ten sandals stood up well to the crossings where the water was over knee deep & sometimes crutch deep & was
flowing fast over slippery rocks. At the car park I met a family, the first people I’ve spoken to since I left Licola,
who said this road which is dirt from here on is passable through to Dargo 90ks away. Might give it a go. I
talked to the family before going on the walk & just now as I was about to get in the car I found a map of the
high country of victoria (cost $6.95) stuck under my drivers side windscreen wiper. On it they have drawn an
arrow saying “you are here” & they also left the following ♪: “can make it as far as yard Flat ing area on
gravel rd but past that it is marked as 4x4 tracks through to Dargo. That doesnt mean you can’t get through you
can be the judge if you want to go further. Hava Good Holiday”. People are amazing! The scale of the map is
1:300,000 so now I can understand the view I was seeing from the ridge the day before yesterday. Does this
mean I should stay in the mountains for the rest of the p? I am at Tamboritha Saddle (1280 meters). This is
one beautiful spot & I’m already elated after the map incident. There is an  board where it says the Alpine
National Park is 646,000 hectares. There is a yard here made out of huge timbers, logs nearly a in
diameter. The forest acous judging by the clarity of the bird calls are perfect. There are tracks going off in
various directions (including Dingo Hill track) through beautiful high altitude forest of a kind I’m not used to.
Its the place to stop. Earlier along the road there was a comprehensive view from Bennison Lookout & before
that I sang in the exit gorge of the Dinner Creek Waterfall. Its amazing all these spots arent crawling with
tourists – there is no one anywhere…. 4.30, checked out the near surroundings & its all beautiful. A few cars
have driven by – all 4x4s. There is a sign nearby saying “beware alpine weather”. Just had a  & a of coffee
is cooling down. Finished the fresh bread & got a packet of corn thins & one of Vita-Wheat from under the back
seat. Time to resume the biblical commentary.
I once read the 4 gospels concentrating only on the statements attributed to the nazarene that described
the kingdom of god or heaven. At the time the single word that best seemed to summarize these was
‘enlightenment’. To his listeners the kingdom would certainly have meant an ly one & when peter saw jesus
in the role of messiah he must have envisaged him as the saviour of the ish , leading them perhaps to
freedom from the roman occupation & possi y going on to be king over  living in the right way. It seems to
me that the prophet himself saw things in far more radical terms. If the miracles & wonders that had been
witnessed by the disciples were nothing to what could be then the ‘state-of-being’ (if thats a fair way of putting
it) in this kingdom is beyond our imagination. In such an unimaginable state it may no longer be meaningful to
wonder if this kingdom was an ly one or as later christians came to imagine it, an afterlife. The same
consideration may apply to enlightenment as preached by the buddhists. That the prophet saw himself to have a
special mission & that he saw himself to have a special role in the kingdom of god is certain. Beyond that
nothing is clear. Perhaps his last words on the  indie a realization that his mission had failed (or would).

I had a dream
where I thought that god
faced with eternity
timelessness
the impotence of omnipotent power
made the world
in seven days and seven nights

because he was restless

and so it was that we were created

in the image of god
10
 each and all a part of him
and he, transformed
by an act of will, into you and me

now he can rest

limited by time
restricted by deformity
he can dispense pity
for he lives through the dying
the wretchedness of children neglected
the diseased pervert
the hapless mother
the blood of war

we understand

and we remember that fool

who thought he knew god
and cried out aloud
“oh god! oh god!
why hast thou forsaken me?”
had he forgotten that we were part of him
and he was part of us?
didn’t he know that we wanted none of
his god?

we can rest because we understand

he can smile
because he has played this game long enough
and when he wakes
rested by a dream
of seven days and seven nights
he can return to the vacuum
from where he came

pray for me

It may be that he realized that his words would not be heard, or heeded, that the kingdom would not come about.
The way that the nazarene says “but who do you believe I am” or his non-committal answer to pilates question,
together with his inclination not to admit to a fixed role suggests to me that he may have thought (or known)
that what he became & the nature of the kingdom itself depended on the ex to which his word would
ed.
7/12/00. The bird to whose song I woke this morning was a rufous whistler (Pachycephala
rufiventris). It ted well before dawn & hasnt stopped yet (7.45 am). The kookaburras, usually the first to
wake, joined in much later. I’ve been laughed at most mornings. Yesterday I turned on the  for the first .
Can’t remember what was on the news. Tomorrow I’ll be back home. Today I should be driving through some
of the same country I through in the great victoria ride at a similar of year. It feels like ages but I think
its only two years ago. I am grateful, most people my age com that the years pass too quickly. I return to the
beginning of my theme in an effort to close it, the usage of the word – god. The way the nazarene used the
word was certainly not the way I out d its use last wednesday, that is to legitimise power. The example of his
life as a teacher & his knowledge of his impending  show the opposite. If he saw himself as a king it was in a
different kind of kingdom. The possi ity has to be considered that the master used it (& the word heaven)
because a better expression was not availa . It may be that he knew his listeners heard it differ ly but hoped
11
that by giving illustrations he would change their perceptions. His proves that he didnt succeed. Another
possi ity is that the god whose will he ed it was his mission to fulfil lied to him. This is another way of
saying that he may have only been a junior god in a hierarchy of gods & that what are truths to the gods are t
amount to lies or at least incomprehensi to us. The nazarene may have been mistaken in ing he could
communicate with his god in a meaningful way. I am not inclined to pursue that of enquiry & even if it
were so it doesnt change my @titude to the man. For me he was the greatest of men & I continue to pledge my
allegi . A single para of his can carry more meaning than a philosophers or theologians entire output. His
life was exemplary. He sends the com4ter. Despite alternative possi ities I accept his descriptions of Gods @
butes. The hairs on my head have been numbered – I know it.
9.00 am & that bird is still going full bore.

though we will drink your wine

we cannot
drink your vinegar

as you hold us in your hand

protect us
from the nail

15/2 /01 (13/2/01 – 26/2/01 (no 18)). In the end I ed in a crook of the Wapengo Creek
near a little bridge where the road from Tathra to Bermagui crosses it. I took my wedding ring off to check the
inscribed date (1965) for when I was first here (yes, kids, it was on our honey (thats what they were called)
when people still used to get married.) I have a clear memory of it because there were thousands of large mullet
making their way up the creek presumably to spawn. This is the third I’m back & now the road is sealed &
there are only a few mullet & they are much smaller. A sign next to the bridge says: Wapengo Catchment
Community Group Inc. (Rivercare): Wapengo Creek Rehabilitation Project – restoration project – stock control
- native riparian pl regeneration – revegetation – weed and pest control. For information contact your local
River care or Land care Coordinator 6491 6200. The sky is clear this morning. Todays is Jane of Valois
(Queen 1464-1505). A despised and deformed daughter of King Louis XI of France, Jane was raised by
guardians in a lonely castle and then forced to marry the heir presumptive, Louis, Duke of Orleans, for purely
polial reasons. But on ascending the French throne as Louis XII, the latter had this marriage annulled as
having been contracted under ress, and then married Anne of Brittany. The repudiated queen, now made
Duchess of Berry, acquitted herself well in the government of her province. In 1500 “the Good Duchess”
founded at Bourges, her capital, the Order of the “Annonciades” for prayer and pen , with a rule based upon
our Lady’s ten Gospel virtues. Towards the end of her life Jane herself took the veil there. Numerous miracles
of healing occurred after her , so that she became popularly vene d as a , although her actual canonization
did not take place until 1950 under Pius XII. Reflection: “None are fit for the works of God, but those who have
profound humility and a sincere contempt for themselves” ( Vincent de Paul).
Its 4.00 & I’m at Barragga Bay beach only 12 or so ks up the road. Did a walk of about 4 hours
southward from Ardmonds Bay beach (an optional dress beach which means nudist). The landowners have
managed to prevent access from the road to that section & it shows by being free of rubbish & people. Done it
countless times but walking along a pristine piece of coast is still one of the best things I can think of.
Murrah Lagoon is full of largish mullet & bream. There are some very fancy houses hidden away in the scrub.
Didnt have time to walk along Bunga beach which ends at Pt Mimosa Rocks N.P. but it looks beautiful from
Goalen Head where I turned around. I wanted to get back in time to continue these ♪♫ in comfort instead of
later when the mozzies start attacking. I’m ting the  as a priority.
One of the most influential ideas of the 20th century, Freuds ‘sub-conscious’, provides another
example of the influ of cartesian dualism. On the one we have the conscious mind, our perceptions of the
 including ourselves (always remembering that we are unable to the thing we with). I have no trou with
that. On the other we have the sub-conscious which like a conspiracy theory is impossi to prove by definition.
The evid in both cases is stantial. Both provide excell fodder for the movie indus . The subconscious
is like a ghost in the machine which every now & then causes a person to act st ly as in the case of a neuro
 or is used to ex haviour that baffles us. The example given when I was doing Psych.I at Melbourne uni
was of a lady whose legs became paralysed on her wedding night & on any other night when her husband
12
wanted to prove his ♂hood. Appar ly there were no physiological reasons for the condition & it was later
discovered that she had been abused as a child by an uncle. The paralysis was said to be a hysterical product of
her subconscious memory of abuse. I think psychoanalytic theory has it that if the ghosts from the subconscious
are dragged out into the light of day they dissipate & the problem is solved. I doubt it. A far easier explanation
would be that the childhood experiences resulted in a neurological circuit being laid down that remains
permanently part of the persons make up & is triggered by a particular , the  being a similar sequ of
events as led to the circuit being formed in the first place. No need in this explanation for a chimerical, bub ing
entity, just below the conscious mind & suspiciously similar to a soul or ghost or spirit or psyche. Think of it as
an electronic door which has a  in it that is tripped only if you  in the correct number. If you dont want to
trip the  make sure you  in a differ number. The lady would be well advised to marry someone who was
as differ as possi to her uncle. If the uncle was a big, brutish man who came at night into a small room &
persisted regardless of protests then she should marry a small, kind bloke who always showed that he would
take no for an answer & had a prefer for making love in the day time in open spaces & only after elabo
seduction if ever. Here is another example of how the subconscious is used. It was suggested to me recently that
its the place where your  are when youre not ing them. But really?! Can you have  when youre not
ing (& what are they when you are? see Wittgenstein)? A far more believa scenario is that when the 
is not there its simply not there or anywhere else until some perception or event triggers it. When youve learnt
to drive a car can you really believe that when you go to sleep (or are knocked unconscious) the ability to drive
is pulsing away (maybe glowing a bit) in some diaphanous space. Or is it that the driving practice has laid down
a neurological circuit which will be joined only by the correct code ie alarm goes off, get ready to go to work,
get , t – drive (etc.). I realise that what I am saying sounds like the stimulus-response description of
mans behaviour whose followers by studying isolated examples denied mans dignity, autonomy & complexity. I
dont. The whole is more than the sum of the parts. Nature is infinitely complex & we are an expression of it.
We are its  & . I think its far more insulting to mans dignity & a far greater denial of his beauty &
complexity to find it necessary to assign a spectral double (ghost, soul, spirit, psyche, subconscious) to
accompany him. There is another pro m with those difficult to locate doubles: there are always third parties
who claim privileged access to their company & special knowledge of their @tributes & requirements. Priests,
rabbis, mullahs, psychiatrists, gurus, politicians but above all journalists (John Laws is still on air, can you
believe that, he’s on the local  station all the time), & a variety of other mediums will tell you what you
should be doing on the strength of their acquaint with your double. Theyll tell you you should do it coz its
good for your soul (& “good for you”). Theyll tell you in great detail & if you let them get away with it theyll
even  you which you should wipe your arse with.
22/2/01. Instead of a the has a feast for today. Peter’s Chair At Rome. This feast of the
Cathedra Petri seems to have been celebrated from the very earliest times and commemorated the day when
Peter held the first religious ceremony after his arrival in the capital of the ancient , some eleven years after
our Lord’s Ascension. There used to be two “Chairs” in the anci Vatican Basilica: a mar one which was built
into the apse and where the Popes sat, surrounded by their clergy – and a “sedes gestatoria”, such as became
fashiona in Rome about the middle of the first century. It is this latter one which is still preserved today,
enclosed in a huge bronze casing designed by Bernini, and set high up in the wall of Peter’s apse. It is a 
arm-chair of worm-eaten oak, which in later ages was em ished with ivory panels. It was last exposed for the
veneration of the faithful in 1867 to commemorate the eighteenth centenary of the great Apostle’s martyrdom.
Reflection: “Be prud , therefore, and watch in prayer. But before all things have a const mutual charity
among yourselves: for charity covereth a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4, 7-8)
A friend once told me that no one has ever read all of Jung but I’ve done better – I havent read any.
That doesnt prevent me from passing some comments on the common subconscious, another one of the classic
‘doubles’ & a close relative of the indivial subconscious. I am interested in the contemporary popular form of
the idea rather than his original one. It is seen to be a wellspring of primary ideas & fears that are said to be
common across all cultures to all mankind. Fear of spiders & is said to come from there as do the
mythological archetypes. It is used to ex mysterious things that we share in common. Some say that the
indivial subconscious is connected to the common one & thats where dreams come from. Others explain
telepathy as a kind of connection between people via the medium of the common subconscious. (note that
Catherine de Ricci (feb. 13) was supposed to be a to in more than one place at a , an a ity the most recent
, Fr. Pio, is also credited with.) I can’t think of a more ridiculous idea than telepathy when surely its easier to
pop in for a visit or call on the  but I dont dismiss it out of hand for not having experi d it. For some
people anything mysterious that is shared by mankind is seen as evidence for the common ‘soul’ which is very
13
 y for them as it takes away the need for close observation in search of explanations that make more sense
(sensi , tangi .) My main objection to it is that it turns the gaze away from the amazing  of  & their nival
of practices to the shadowy regions of king Mumbo Jumbo. I dont need it to convince me that man is a single
creature because I already find confirmation of that in everything I see about me. If its not obvious to you you
must be a navel gazer or something similar; or very busy. I am not surprised that oxygen was discovered by two
differ people in differ coun at the same time or that Newton & Liebnitz discovered differ ial
calculus independently. I am surprised that 100 people didnt make the discoveries at the same . No sooner do I
get an idea that I think is a bit original than I t finding articles about it in the press, discover societies devoted
to spreading it, or that someones  a 500 page tome about it fifty years ago. Then I read Borges & find that
it was discussed by Plotinus or an arab over a thousand years ago. Students looking for an original idea for
their Ph.D. know the problem. You dont need to understand Wittgenstein (3/3/09. hoo 4rw @n
rskool nLinz wr th mjort vtchrz wr “mentally deranged and quite a few ended their days as
honest-to-God lunatics; their collars were unkempt …. Their external appearance exuded
uncleanliness, they were a product of a proletariat denuded of all personal independence
of thought, distinguished by unparalleled ignorance and most admirably fitted to
become the pillars of an effete system of government …” rkordn2 flo klrsm8 Adolf Hitler
hoo woz onli 6 daz oldr thn Ludwig) on how the rock of meaning in language is mimed or join
Borges in tracing the contributions of an idea back into antiquity, Bill Brysons entertaining let on the
english language will do as a primer. Yet language is only one of the ways we are connected. Like those beetles
that send messages to each other by waving brightly coloured forelegs & striped antennae we are const ly
engaged in a language, a semaphore, of visual signalling with the clothes we wear. Some people are so aware of
the messages projected this way they can proba y tell you what job you do, your nationality, your character
type, sexual preferences, what programs you watch on telly, what you had for breakfast. Travelling helps
sharpen observation. I would like to set up as a mind reader in sunday markets of country towns except the
business has been cornered by other gypsies. Its amusing to hear people claim they dont pay the slightest @
ion to how they dress then find that they are strictly in uni4m with all the other people who make the same
claim. But there are other languages besides the spoken & the visual. I wont comment on body language
because enough has been written on it (28/11/08. Tuesday 5/4/05). Less noticed is the language inherent
in where we position ourselves in a room of people or round a table; how we make claims for differ amounts
of space to reflect our import ; how those spaces can be joined or traded. Chairmen of boards probably have
a good grasp of it. More basic again is the language of imitations & counter-imitations. Guys dont spend a
fortune on ing gear because they have a craving for : they do it so that they would look like ; its a
deep thing. Young things dont spend their in sidewalk cafes because they are addicted to coffee or in search of
conversation: they do it to look like the people in the films theyve seen. And there are many other ‘languages’
(ways of connecting, toing & froing, communications, reflections) besides the exis of what I suspect are
such pervasive ones that like who are unaware of water we dont ♪ice them at all. There is a ‘language’ of
decisions that we make in everything we do. Sooner or later all of us are called on to clearly show others (or we
are given the opportunity to show) where we draw the ; where we stand. It may well be the most telling of
our ‘languages’ because it is the most concrete, the most spatial. It is the ‘language’ of the whole body that
sends the clearest message & is most clearly seen yet is so pervasive that we are hardly aware of it. I hope I’ve
managed to ex why I dont need the notion of the common subconscious to convince me that we are only a
single creature. Anyone with  &  must know. Anyone who moves about must know. It may be that
Jung spent so much time reading &  ed away in his study that he got out of touch & nee to reassure
himself of his connection with the rest of us by inventing The Common Subconscious.
5.40. Put the car under the shade of the ti- near the lounge chairs & went for a walk. Found a
spiny pipe to add to the one I found yesterday evening and a stubby holder to replace my Crows one which
is coming apart. Left at 12 & was back before 5. Am d south towards Barragga Point & almost got around it.
That means I’ve now walked most of the coast between Bermagui & Aragunnu picnic area. On the way
back walked about half the southern shore of Cuttagee Lake which I found very interesting as there are a couple
of hideaway shacks there. Incidentally there is even a ta here. (13/3/01 see back cover. (24/11/08. ie vth rijnl
owt)) I’m looking for excuses to spend a couple more days here as its perfect for . I reckon the reason why
the track round the bollards hasnt been shut off by parks management is that this must be a koori meeting place.
They have a settlement on Wallaga Lake a few ks north of Bermagui … Some wildlife ♪♫: at the ent ce to
Cuttagee Lake I watched gar ; at the southern end of Baragoot beach I saw a girl ☼baking in only a g-string;
on some rocks at the t of the track that goes past the track where I’m  there were two very stylish dragon
14
type lizards (about 30cms) with white rectangular marks along the sides; when I went for my evening stroll
(6.30-8.15) I flushed the only bunny I’ve come across this p; just as I was about to get into  I ♪iced a
clambering about on suckered on the outside above the . (24/11/08. pom wch n owt:

it is my earth
mother of the poor
father to the wild
feel it breathe underfoot
tremble with subtle pain
slow heart of stone, dream of ages
forgetting, forgiving, hidden

it is deep
deeper than the sea
it has known everything and forgotten
many times
its tears are rain
its agony the sun

then there will be a

dead rain
a blind sun
in silence

12/4 /01 (7/4/01 – 18/4/01 (no 19) (pom 10 owt:

one subject for conjecture

was an ageless man
who regularly passed through our town

against his chest

in a wire cage
suspended by a leather belt from his neck
was a small grey songbird

each time we asked about the caged bird

he would tell us
with a note of polite amusement in his voice
a different story :

that it was a travelling companion

and though it appeared to lack freedom
and he seemed to have it
there was an understanding between them

or that it was in memory

of a beautiful girl
to whom he swore to be true
but she left him

then again it was a treasured possession

of an old widow who took ill
she asked him to look after it
and it remained with him ever since

he said the bird reminded him of us

15
 the cage was life,
however far he travelled
he knew to return

once he told us how in a huge city

he stopped under a bridge where two rivers met
a river of oil shone like the rainbow
the other was red with blood

he was the only one in that city

to wake to the morning song of a bird

(23/11/08. & Wednesday 18/4/01)). Here is another polial : Julius I (Pope Confessor ?-352).
Julius, a Roman by birth, ruled the Church for 15 years after his election in 337 and is chiefly remembered for
the firm and dicious way in which he led the Arian controversy concerning Athanasius. The latter, who
had been exiled to Treves by the Arians in 335, had been permitted by Constantine II to return to Alexandria in
Egypt in 337, but was unable to occupy his See and had to appeal to the Pope against the hereal usurper. The
Roman Synod of 340, at which Julius presided, fully vindied Athanasius and other Bishops similarly
deposed by the Arians, and the momentous Papal Letter which reported this decision to the Eastern Bishops is
justly famous in the annals of the Church for its consummate wisdom and clarity. A general council held in
Sardica (today’s Sofia) in 342 fully regulated the future procedures in cases involving the orthodoxy of Bishops
and the intervention of Rome. Incidentally, the years which Athanasius spent in the Eternal City served to
make Egyptian monasticism better known there and the lives of the holy desert hermits to be reproced also in
the West. Reflection: “We ought to be like lilies in the midst of thorns, which, however they pricked and
pierced, never lose their sweet and gentle fragr .” ( Bernard). (When Borges was teaching at a
university in U.S.A. one of his stud  the following in a poem: “She was so chaste that lilies were her
roses.”)
Antonin Artaud has ly status in Frank Loveces circle of friends. Artaud despised the
kind of  who tried to tease meaning out of the flux of life with lucid expression. It was, Artaud thought, an
imposition of order on what should remain in tumult. His own life was an expression of the chaos which was
forever destroying & renewing him. He spent 9 of the last 11 years of his life in an asylum. I am an admirer of
Artauds position & of his deep intuition of the 4ces that precede language. His main contribution was to the
way we perceive the role of theatre & the per4ming arts. He ed that the pre-eminent role language had
usurped in the theatre had to be rolled back. (20/4/01. He wasnt a Shakespear fan!) Theatre should concern
itself with display, whirling action, cruelty, overwhelming sounds & impenetra silences, rhythmic movement,
page ry, ritual, body, totem. Though they may well be the well-springs of what it means to be human not many
of us can leave ourselves as open to these 4ces as Artaud did & survive. It seems to me only the gods live
naturally in the primeval whirlpool. As she was urging me to go on this trip Helen suggested I  in order to
exorcise my agitation. I exorcise pain by making it still, turning it into nouns. Artaud would have despised
me. In my defence I would point out that I do not believe that language is categorically separated from the
body. It separates itself only by degrees & is not fully representational (a term used by Artaud) except in the
languages of science. Certainly the spoken word cannot be separated from the texture of the , the emphasis
given, the conviction with which it is said, the kind of eye contact made, the underlying gestures & body
postures. It is like that because words are first learnt by being rehearsed & these qualities (& others we are not
aware of) may well be their main con . The assertion of scientists that language resides in the left side of the
, a conclusion they arrive at from the fact that damage to the left side prevents speech while if its to the
right speech remains should be taken with the greatest of scepticism. In my experi scientists are the least
likely to be able to ♪ice if the qualities listed above are retained. I think it is quite possi that they would be
listening to only of words (in the right  damaged person) & think they were hearing language. In our
society no group of people are more  to the qualities valued by Artaud than scientists, unless it be engin
 & technoc . (2/2/09. & Witold Gombrowicz ( Diary Volume Two) rgree: “Every
lawyer, otherwise known as “the patron”, basks in the high-flown conviction of his own
“cultural well-roundedness” (because, of course, “law educates”), and any old hydraulic
engineer considers himself a full-fledged scholar, like Heisenberg. It is almost not worth
mentioning that when it comes to the imagination, they haven’t the least notion of what
16
it is. ¶ Yesterday. How irritating! For two whole hours I had to bear the conceit of both
these species of pseudo-intellectuals-with-diplomas. Incredible stupidity. The attorney
with his little lawyer’s “look”, his world-view, style, form reeking of that pitiful university,
just the way a suit reeks of mothballs. …. His engineership proclaimed the superiority of
the hard sciences, because, man, those there philosophical or artistic romances are not
for a disciplined mind and “have you gentlemen heard of quanta?” The level was
appalling. And each of them was furnished and supplemented by a better half who
adored his intellect with real feminine ecstasy. It is a sad fact that each year the
universities produce thousands of these jackasses and that sooner or later they find their
unfailing she-ass complements. ¶ How is one to prevent the higher institutions of
learning from producing such rubbish and from polluting the air in the civilized world?
The air around me is getting thick with young cretins of university fabrication, laundered
of all natural intelligence. South America, too, is filling the air with a stifling student
populace that knows only what is crammed into its head. Stuffed with information, it has
lost all sense of the imponderables: character, reason, poetry, and grace. The coarse
ugliness of these intellectual workers, specialists in medicine, law, technology, etc., even
here in Argentina, is getting annoying. People who are insensitive to art, unfamiliar with
life, and formed by abstraction are conceited and ponderous.”)
I am in a const  of hundreds of bush . They are quite small & keep getting into my nose,
mouth, corners of  & holes. I 8 quite a few for  as a dozen had drowned in my 2- minute noodles,
more in my coffee, & were getting into me mouth with every bite of food. Its almost impossi to  so I’ll be
brief. Its 6.00pm. I left for a walk northwards along a fence @ 10.00 & got back walking along the shore of
Island Lagoon at 4.30. Was excited to observe half a dozen Bourkes Parrot (Neophema bourkii) which I
havent seen before (25/11/08. d 4got10 O thm wn  lstd m nu  n Monday 13/10/08). Stood on a
bull nest while I was watching one from very close. Its not often that I come across a new bird these days.
Later walked along a pad that I think was made by . There were plenty of fresh droppings. Will have to
ask James MacTaggart about that. Also have put a rusty old  trap that was hanging in a where I’m parked
into the car to take home. It can still be set so I can show people how they work. There are a dozen on my
as I’m : must smell good. to quit.
16/8 /01 (13/8/01 – 25/8/01 (no 23) (24/11/08. *….*  Port Germein (no 58))).
*11.30am. I’ve propped in Port Germein. The change still hasnt arrived. I wouldnt be feeling good driving west
(drinking a stubby bought at Iron Knob) into the Gawler Ranges with a big northeasterly behind me into a
threatening band of  on the horizon. Its very comfortable here. I’m in the historic way shed at the end of
the pier on the corner of Esplanade & High st. Not sure where the has gone, I seem to hardly have done
anything. Read the paper, walked to the end of the pier. As I leant forward sitting on the toilet across the road
from the shed I was looking at the initials AZ carved on the back of the door in front of my nose. So … there
are others. The shed gives terrific protection from the wind whichever side it blows from. I slept in my usual
spot on the beach a couple of ks to the north.
Might as well launch into the big topic, the one I’ve been talking about to myself for weeks. It ted
when Frank Lovece off chapters 11 & 12 from a called Potentialities by Giorgio Agamben for me
to read. It led me to buy two of essays by Heidegger (24/5/05. ystrdi Frank gave me sum mor nfo on
him from an ntrvew wth Ernesto Grassi on tusedi 24 novmbr 1987 in Naples (31/5/05. our port of
dprchr wen w kame 2 ozil& from a DP in 1949. I woz 9. (5/4/09. &  woz thr rgn n2007 -
26/4/07 -& wwl  nItalia, nroma, 14/4/09)) titld Memories of Husserl & Heidegger. Th t
zl8shn from talian iz x Frank so maib its a 1st in nglsh: “ ERNESTO GRASSI – MEETING MARTIN
HEIDEGGER ¶ The year 1929 is the year Heidegger came to Freiburg, and I remember
the tutorial on Book Gamma of Aristotles “Metaphysics” and the incredible talent
(capacitá) of this man, Heidegger, of his pedagogical activity. I’d say that as a teacher
his particular gift (capacitá) was his dedication to ermeneia (hermeneu), to the
interpretation of the text, therefore the importance of his tutorials, even more so than
his lectures. ¶ One time I went to see him in the evening and asked “How are you?” I still
remember: it was in the Rotenburgweg just outside of Frieburg, close to the Black
Forest, a great  was brewing and I asked “Master, how are you?’ and he replied “Bad”. I
said “Why? Because of your problems with National Socialism? Look, I don’t think its so

17
important” – “No, no, because I’m forced to quit my commission for the edition of
Nietzsche’s works.” I said “Congratulations. Others have had to resign from the project,
Walter Friedrich Otto, Karl Reinhart – both of whom I’d worked with and also put out a
series of publications – I congratulate you.” His reply was very odd “No, things arent that
simple,” and I asked “why?” He: “Because I’ve worked on it and sketched a re-ar
ment of the order of “The Will To Power” different from the way Nietzsche’s sister has it,
and this morning I burnt it.” “But what on  - I asked – why?” “Ich habe mich gerächt an
der Nachtwelt”. “I took my revenge on posterity.” If I hadnt heard it myself I would never
have believed that sort of remark. ¶ Yet another example of Heideggers peculiar
character, even more so in his manner – which was one of the reasons I distanced myself
from him – towards the Jews, but especially towards a Jew who was his most intimate
friend, Walter Willi Szilagyi, a Hungarian, of whom Heidegger had said, at our first
meetings, “He’s the only one who truly knows me and really understands my ideas.”
Later Willi Szilagyi would be the first person to hold Heideggers Chair when Heidegger
was forbidden to teach. ¶ This abandoning of a man who had dedicated himself to him
completely, just like that, from one day to another, based on the poli of the day, truly
astounds me. ¶ Willi Szilagyi was extraordinary: he emigrated from country to country,
and in Switzerland we published a collection, including a piece by Heidegger, his  to
Humanism, with a publisher in Berne. It’s incredible to see how Heidegger was capable
of cutting such an import human tie (relation ). And yet Willi Szilagyi, unlike Löwith
and unlike Adorno, never got involved with the polemic against Heidegger. A polemic
which took on great import over the following years.” Frank points out th@ this bein n
ntrvew he rtainz th vrbl p@rnz rathr than knvrt → txchl grmmr.) : Poetry, Language, Thought & The
Question Concerning Technology which I’ve since given to Frank to keep having read only the essay on
Nietzsche & half of The Question … Perhaps they were meant for Frank from the t. The chapters by
Agamben are a discussion of Heideggers notion of facticity & together with the tiny amount that I’ve
now read by Heidegger himself (his combined works in english are going to to 100 volumes) & some other
commentary on his thought by his translators they helped convince me that I’ve finished with philosophers.
Exactly how I’m not sure, especially as Heidegger broaches the same topics as I do. Perhaps its to do with
his use of the capital when he writes the word Being. You have to make your mind up on these things early
otherwise, especially in his case, you commit yourself to a lot of reading. More about the capital B later. Now I
want to quote from the 1st page of ch. 13 of Agambens which I read only because it happened to be on the
back of the end of the 12th. (Its the Aby Warburg method who says first you go to the relev section, loe
the youve been looking for, but pick the one next to it). Agamben is quoting from the second chapter of
the talmudic treatise Hagigah (literally “Offering”) which considers those matters it is permitted to study &
those that must not in any case become objects of investigation. The Mishnah with which the chapter opens
reads as follows :
“Forbidden relation must not be exed in the pres of three (people); the work of creation must
not be exed in the pres of two (people); the Chariot (merkebah, the chariot of Ezekiel’s vision, which is
the symbol of mysal knowledge) must not be exed in the pres of one, unless he is a sage who already
knows it on his own. It is better never to be born than to be someone who investigates into the four things. The
four things are: what is above; what is below; what is first; and what is after (that is, the object of mysal
knowledge, but also metaphysical knowledge, which claims to study the supernatural origin of things.)”
The bracketed comments in the quotation are Agambens. I sense that Heidegger breaches the
above injunction & guess that Agambens purpose in the rest of the chapter will be to show that he doesnt or
is justified in doing it. I want to ex why the injunction must not be disobeyed. My struggle in recent weeks
has been to come to a decision whether or not I am already violating it by making the explanation. It is only
now that I am convinced that I do not that I give it. The wind has turned cold & is blowing a gale from the
southwest. I’ve shifted into the lounge of the Port Germein Hotel where I make the comments with the aid of a
stubby of Coopers Sparkling Ale held in a holder made from silvered cardboard supplied by Nasco Broadacre
Spraying Service (ACSASA) PH: 0886672371 MOB: 0427 672 371.
It must be understood from the outset that every word we use (even the most abstract eg. human nature
etc.) is a set of instructions for actions to be performed. simple actions performed by the , , ,
mouths of . Its by agreeing from the outset which actions a word represents that we learn it. The same word
can represent differ actions in differ groups depending on how it was learnt. The great power of science

18
resides in an agreement by everyone how to use words in minute exactness. By rear ing very precisely we
can build wonderful structures to amuse ourselves with or serve our needs. In this I think Heidegger is
right: science is an ex10sion of technology not the other way round. For a fuller commentary on how words
work see my story 14/8/41. The written, spoken, imagined words, the codes stored in the neural structures are
only the algorithms for the complex actions they represent. There is a tendency to think of words as having
ghostly partners called meanings. Its easy to confuse the algorithm in our imagination with what it stands for
especially as algorithms can refer to other algorithms & so on. Nevertheless all words can be pared down to the
action they represent. That is their meaning & its as solid as sticks & stones. To find out the meaning of a word
you dont have to for some ghostly double behind it – simply at its usage. The usage is the meaning. If you
want to be a scientist remember that the usage consists of many precise moves & busy ar gements (too many
to be remembered so they have to be listed in ) so be prepared to put your on & devote the rest of your life
to it. In lite ure, poe & particularly religion its much easier – the moves are bigger. (I’ve bought a 2 nd
stubby at $4.80 each. There has been no beer on tap as the power has been out. Now even the power for the
lights has gone so I have to shift next to the . Outside it is ing. There are two guys at the bar: a young koori
who is also drinking a stubby & an old codger drinking port from a beer glass. He recommends it at $2.10).
To answer the question why it is that we must not study (or investigate, or ex, or describe, or
examine) mysal knowledge we have to consider what it is that we do when we study – the action of the word.
If you study something you put it in the palm of your , knit your brows, & stare at it. Maybe you have to put
on your . Or even use a microscope or an electron microscope. Or if its something big you break a off & if
its a rock you might crush it up to what kind of powder it makes & if it tastes salty. Or you divide it into
sections & do a sampling exercise on each & record the results in a for future refer . Or if youre exing it
you take it apart & then reassem it. Or you take it apart & show how it can be assem d differ ly. If its to a
child you do it very slowly, over & over while holding the kids . Or if you find it on the ground you get a stick
& spread it out & nt the pips. Or if you examine you ask questions for the required answers. When you
study something you always (there are no exceptions) put it into a subordinate relation to yourself. (3/9/01.
When we get around to cloning people we will be placing them in a subordinate relation to us too). (4/9/01. I
am the result of a ch channelling of parental genes but if I was a clone & was overwhelmed by lifes
misfortunes I would know who to pay back for their calm calculation). You push it far enough from your  to
focus properly. You are the observer, the active party. What you study is passive, it can be taken apart. If it were
the case that we are a single creature (that individual people are analogous to the cells of the creature humanity
(see story 13/2/01 – 26/2/01)) & if the mysal knowledge being referred to in the Hagigah is knowledge
of it then it is obvious that we cannot study it. We can never bring that of which we are only a part into the
required relation . The ing  cannot itself. It may be, friends, that some of you havent ♪iced that we are
part of a single creature & so the issue doesnt arise for you. But I know.
($4.80 for a stubby of Coopers to drink in the pub & $2.30 to take away ie. $2.50 for the privilege of
drinking it here = $5.00 extra to  it here than it would have been if I’d stayed in the shed) (6.30 Helen, youll
be interested to know that I got the mozzie nets up all by myself in a h ing gale – but it took 10 minutes). (For
the general reader: even in these conditions the inside of the car heats up from body heat & if the wind drops
overnight the mozzies zoom in guided by infra-red radar) (I love going to  when the van is being rocked by
the wind.)*
23/8 /01. Returning to the comments about the passage from the talmudic tise I quoted last
week. The processes that take place when we study or ex are only more in10se expressions, more
concentrated procedures, of what takes place in language in general. All language is a kind of placing in front of
us (creatures with hands that manipulate; both  ing forward; attentive to detail), a drawing of borders,
attaching of labels. In some cases we very accurately but we also have words to describe what we do when we
make a sweeping gesture. We have a 10d y to think of our ability as consciousness. The more we are in
language, & we are increasingly so, the more conscious we think we are. being without can’t hold
things in front of their  to scrutinize so we are happy to  them. A human foetus goes through a stage like
a – we are happy to abort it. Foucault, an honorary member of the folie a Sorbonne, would have us
e that man is entirely in the statements that he makes about himself (as I did last week in my comments on
Heidegger). There is no centre, as he puts it. Preoccupied as he was with systems of thought & fascinated
by the way language can  back in self referential structures it was natural for him to do so. French academics
(stereotyped as not knowing how to open an ) have a 10d y to live in the , neglecting the body
(Foucault was an enigma example). But before language, before we place in front of our eyes to attach the

19
la , is the intention to do it. The intention is em in the body & its fascinating to meditate on it. I am inc d
to the point of view that nearly everything is in the body, outside language. I had a lecturer once who tried to
convince me that because an eskimo has 30 or so words for snow he sees it differ ly than I would who has
only one. I rather think he sees it differ ly only because hes been there longer not because of the words. The
words allow him to join with others in the hunt, to give & follow instructions, to build igloos. They are his joint
enterprise to conquer. An arc hare has not even one word for snow but it sees it alright. A  has no words for
smell but knows every bitch in the street by her scent. A has no knowledge of water (except when it is
hauled out flapping onto sand gasping for air – then it knows) but every vibration goes through it. Wor ing
language is like wor ing statues: you bow to them because you see them before you. It may be that the -
god, the god of the word, is only a minor god. The buddhists give their allegi to a realm that precedes
language & includes the dumb animals. Theirs is a mute deity. And there are more anci gods still….3.30. I’m
at Cactus Beach 20ks south of Penola. I’m d k. I could piss myself with happiness. I’ve been to a lot of
beaches (walked the Victorian coast more or less in entirety) & I know a good one when I see it – this is a great
beach. As I was driving in even the corrugations felt right. (It was first recommended to me by Peter Saniga.
Thanks.) I could  here. Back at Wirrulla (about 180 klicks) I  Helen at school & used up a $10  card.
Everyone is fine. Ben is getting good in the car. Dan is again talking about going to London with a $4000 adv
from F.R.M. (the bastards!). She had  with Joe & Kate who is dating a new guy; her & Jock are definitely
finished. Joe is his usual genial self. On the way to meet Kate she & Joe met Sandra. Sandra is distressed
because the play she was in, about self-mutilation, which was ready to start showing was cancelled when the
director spotted the s on her arms. It will be something to do with legal liability. The state knows how to
prevent you talking when you really want to be heard. If youre going to be serious talk in the luna asylum
where no one will listen. Or talk art as long as its quite clear that you dont really mean it. The biggest single
compon (instruction) in the meaning of the word is: not to be taken seriously. Say anything you like as long
as people know its art. Ceduna is 95 klicks further west of Wirrulla. I bought a couple of stu at a cy pub
besieged by kooris. It must be their cultural centre. When I was driving out I went past the Adult Activity
Centre & didnt see a soul in the vicinity. I’m with them. There are things that can only be said by what you do –
all the  in the  nts for nothing. The suicide er speaks with the same emphasis as christ did. While I was
there I pulled into a park by the beach for a leak. Checked out the message bank on the mobile. There was
one from Helen, a singing one left last ☼day. It went: “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy
birthday my president, happy birthday to you – with love from your Monica.” 60 klicks further west at Penola I
bought two more stu which I d k driving into here. (Darling! One day we will walk naked along these
infested (bronze whalers) beaches of clear water over white sand.) (24/11/08. n wth pom:

if the word
is the womb
of god

let my tomb
be made
from echoes

(24/2/09. so  tak thopr♪♫t 2 “…” thobzrvashnzv György Korin ( VII 5 War & War  László
Krasznahorkai) & ♂z 4 frndz onth TOWER OF BABEL: “A king among stone carvers: the idea
shocked everyone in Babylon, for it meant that whatever laws had governed them so far
were now invalid and that there was no longer any foundation on which order might be
built, and, this being so from now on it would be the unpredictable, the sensational and
the senseless that ruled their lives, and yet he walked among the stone carvers as any
man might do, treading the length of the Marduk road, through the Ishtar Gate, over to
the hill opposite, acting against all the ruling conventions and thereby advertising the
fact that power was no longer with the empire, for leaving the palace without
appropriate retinue and the presence of the court, with just four guards as escort and, of
course, the fearsome moon-faced chief adviser at his side was more than Babylon could
bear, and when the chief adviser cried, The King, and the armed escort carelessly
echoed the words, the stone carvers on the hillside thought someone was playing a joke
on them and did not even rise to their feet and stop working at first, but when they saw
it really was the king they threw themselves on the ground facedown until the adviser,
20
communicating the king’s wishes, ordered them to rise and to continue what they were
doing, for such were the king’s commands, he said, the king’s expression stern and
frightening, but somehow disturbing too, the eyes faintly idiotic, the eyes of a man
bearing the authority of Nimrod’s robes and scepter, but among workmen, and that’s
how the priests of Marduk knew that the last judgement must be near though sacrifices
continued undisturbed on the altars, but there was the king, engaged in direct
conversation with the stone carvers on the hillside, and news of this apocalyptic event
quickly spread and terrified even those who had given themselves over to the fierce
pleasures and the evils of forgetfulness behind the thick but now useless walls of the
city; and the four of them threw themselves on the ground once more but none of them
dared answer such questions as they did not understand, for their hearts were in their
mouths, loudly drumming in fear that the mighty Nimrod was standing before them in an
act of madness, that the king himself was asking them whether the stone was hard
enough, and they went on nodding, saying, yes, yes, hard enough, but the king gave no
sign of having heard their answer and stepped away to join the guards who were openly
grinning, then stood on a ledge that offered a perfect view with a deep chasm at his
feet, the vast tower of Etemenanki rearing up before him on the far side, and stood
immobile, a dry scalding breeze above the river blowing directly into his face; so Nimrod
watched the builders at work, laboring at the enormous monument, that impossible
structure rising before him, almost ready now, a perfect silence at his back, the
hammers and chisels frozen in the workmen’s hands as he surveyed his creation,
Nimrod’s challenge to the world, a triumph, a work of genius, an edifice of godless
majesty designed to confront time itself – that, at least, was how Nimrod imagined it,
said Korin to his new friend, for what else could it be, as they sat down for a drink at the
Mocca restaurant, what else could it be if we are to believe Breughel rather than
Koldeway, and he did believe Breughel in preference to Koldeway, for that was what he
had assumed from the beginning, that Breughel’s painting was correct, since after all
one had to, in fact absolutely had to assume something, for there had to be a reason for
him being in New York, and there had to be some mysterious guiding hand to lead him
here so that he might accomplish his own humble task and receive a clear explanation of
all these references to Babel, and why should all this be as it was, smiled Korin, his head
swaying, if not to enable us to comprehend that this is what God’s absence leads to, to
the production of a miraculous, brilliant and utterly captivating kind of human being who
is incapable, and always will be incapable, of just one thing, that is of controlling that
which he has created, his own feeling being, he declared, that it was true, that there
really was nothing more miraculous than man, for think, to take a random example, of
computers, of satellites, of microchips, motor cars, medicines, televisions, of unmanned
stealth bombers, a list so long we could continue forever, and this was probably the
reason and explanation for his own presence in New York, so that he should be able to
sort the essential from the banal, in other words to understand that that which is too big
for us is altogether too big, and having understood this to convey this understanding to
others, because, and he couldn’t emphasize this strongly enough, he, Korin, had to point
out the true state of affairs, and he did not merely imagine but felt most clearly that
something had taken him by the hand and was leading him.”)
27/9 /01 (22/9/01 - 1/10/01 (light type by helenz; heavy type by a … z @ (no 24)). Had a
wash in a rainwater puddle after breakfast & then a short walk along the Hume & Hovell Track (whose marker
posts have a very cute picture of a man & a woman in hats & boots looking quite despondent – the man has a
prominent nose pointing straight out, the woman’s nose is pointy & directed at the ground – it’s as if she’s
saying to him: “We’re lost & I’m scared of snakes & my feet are tired & when will we be at the end?” & he’s
saying: “Shut up & keep walking!” I liked it so much I took a photo of it. Someone responsible has a sense of
humour – either that or they can’t afford a proper graphic artist. From Mundaroo West (or thereabouts) we
headed for Tumbarumba for the paper, a couple of free NRMA maps, some milk & buns & then along mainly
back roads to Tarcutta on the Hume Highway for a hamburger/steak sandwich & then to a lovely spot on the
Yaven Creek which runs into the Murrumbidgee, along which we plan to drive tomorrow. North West is Wagga
Wagga, North East is Gundagai. This country is beautiful rolling foothills carrying cattle & sheep & cockatoos.
The sulphur-crested cockatoos are the most obvious birds here, both visually & by voice, in trees, on paddocks,
21
even in a shed full of hay, standing about on the bales. Have been thinking of a collective noun for them
(Collection? Century (like the Roman 100 strong infantry units)?) but think that Cacophany is probably the best
& most accurate. By the way, we found 2 other really beautiful spots today – one in a cleared area inside a pine
forest which had a dam at one end, on the H&H track; one with a sign saying “TSR Gundagai PP” which was
on a stream where John had a dip, between Tumbarumba & Tarcutta near Westbrook (locality) on the Oberne
Creek, which joins the Yaven Creek we are spending the night next to. (5/10/01. We later found out these are
Travelling Stock Reserves, open to the public for recreation, and we passed a number of them later in the trip,
most attractive enclaves of woodland great as places to sleep).
The camp of infinite justice has been renamed camp of enring freedom. Theyre listening to me!
A script has been sacked. But make no mistake – this is a war. The terrifying aspect of it is not what is
being said but what is being left unsaid because it is too frightening. The central question is whether a
nuclear , call it a suitcase , can be assem d at leisure, in stages, in a high rise apartment in New York
or Tel Aviv to be detonated at a time to be chosen by a suicider or maybe just a  call. Is such a
already primed? Can Saddam Hussein or any of the other rogue states (the states that arent rogues
already can make them; maybe thats what Vladimir Putin was referring to when he said some years back
that it would be easy to get around the anti-ballis system the US was proposing) make them? It
seems to me that the immediate reaction of the american leader indied that they cannot eliminate the
possibility. Otherwise why was Bush kept in the air in a command  for a couple of hours after the
towers were struck when it was just as easy & maybe safer to simply whisk him away from the tallest
buildings? Besides by then the large commercial  had been groun & the 4ce ordered to shoot
down any that strayed over cities. What possibility was envisaged when it was thought wise, days later, to
keep him & the vice president apart in case they were jointly assassinated? If the US administration
foresaw the possibility of a nuclear explosion they would never tell the public because the ensuing panic
would cause the financial system to collapse. Since then it has been put about that one of the hijackers
had previously tried to get a licence to drive a semi-trailer, an ideal hiding place for a , & the crop
spraying  of an entire nation have n groun. For the president & vice president of the most
powerful nation on  to be too frightened to be together is extraordinary & I am sure that the US
cannot be expected to & will not allow that situation to continue.
25/10 /01 (22/10/01 - 2/11/01 (no 26) (24/11/08. pom @ tv owt:

it has been brought to my notice

by a student of nature
that the portuguese-man-of-war
more commonly known to beachcombers as
the blue stinger

actually consists of five different creatures

which wander free through the oceans
till in response to some secret code
nurtured over billions of years
in the inscrutable womb of evolution
come together in symbiotic affection
to find a singleness
of purpose and design
as a plague to all swimmers

and in my conceit
this has led me to consider that i too
may be a subject worthy of
scientific scrutiny

my refrigerator might be my stomach

the factories that process my foods
do the work of the digestive tract
the car is my means of locomotion
the state library is my memory
22
 my conscience is my credit card
my sting –
the nuclear

i may look clumsy

but if you have a mind to trifle with
my ecology –
beware

). It seemed to me this morning that the prayer composed by the nazarene which he said should be performed
in secret & only if you insist is no more than an act of admission that we are subject to that which is greater
than us (& of which we are a part I would say) & a plea that we be ted as fairly as we t others & protected
from misfortune.
After I wrote yesterdays en I ted looking for a lane to stop for the night. There were heavy showers
about. The first one I went down consisted of no more than tyre marks in thick grass but by the I was a couple
of hundred yards into it I was wondering how to turn around & get out as I was sliding about. I made it out &
decided Id have to on a better track. So I took what looked like quite a good gravelled minor road meaning
to drive up it a few ks & get a spot not far off it in a gateway to a paddock. As I was driving along I could see a
 that a section of about ½ k wasnt gravelled but it didnt look too bad & I was into it before I had time to
change my mind anyway. Started losing it about 100 yards along & slid off about midway. I managed to do a
couple of figure 8s & get from one to the other side but never to stay on the ball of the road or make any dist
along it. I ended up with the back wheel in the culvert at a sharp sidewise angle & no effort was moving me
forward. The wheel in the culvert was digging itself deeper into the clay. To cut a long story short the prospect
of spending a sleepless night in a at that awkward angle inspired a creative move. Against all good sense I
reversed hard into the culvert & to my surprise the back wheels (theyre the working ones) had enough grip to
mount the other side of the off & then I jerked the hard forward over it & over the ball of the road & onto
the wide grassy verge on the other side. What a re it was, at least I could get a nights sleep in a level . As
it turned out however the grassy verge was firm enough all along that side & I was able to drive on it back to
where the road was gravelled. Back on the sealed road I continued on in what I thought was a northerly
direction. This part of the coun is crisscrossed with many one lane sealed roads some of which turn into
gravel roads after awhile or end up nowhere. I came to a crossroad with a post that had about a dozen town or
locality signs on it including Marnoo 35ks away. I suppose there must be quite a few signs to Marnoo about & I
knew I was in the general area but the reason I wasnt surprised (as if I was expecting it) was because that was
the place I stopped at longest, holed up for an entire night & most of the next day on my wild 4 day (3 night)
trip with Paranoia (25/11/08. 19/9/00 ). Im  these ♪♫ at the back of the recreation reserve only a hundred
yards from where I had taken the down an embankment (on that trip I drove the on several occasions to
the limits of what it was capa in order to be parked in a private nook) to be out of sight & by the creek. Its
9.20am….I cant remember whether it was in the morning or the afternoon of that day on my umpteenth
inspection of the that I found what I thought was a homing device attached on the underneath of the tailgate.
I have no idea what an object that is designed to emit radiation looks like but I had read that when american
airmen are downed they attach a silver disk the size of a coin to a tree or somewhere in the vicinity of where
they wait to be picked up. This was a square plasky paper of about 1" x 1" with a silver disk the size of a 10
cent coin but the thickness of silver foil on one side. The disk was on the inside, the sticky side that was stuck
on the covering a hole. It had no reason to be there & peeled off as if it meant to. I cut it into 4 parts & hid 2
of them in the area. Several days before I left I had heard what sounded like a motorcycle pull up out front at
Ivanhoe & noises that sounded as if the car was being tampered with. Thats what I thought & told H next day
but I was too tired to be bothered getting up & anyway Im used to noises at night: could have been possums, or
next doors rubbish bins. In the intervening period I have thought that sooner or later Id check for those of
the disk so this morning I did. I also checked for the empty bottle of Ramazzotti which I left here too as my
calling card – it is gone. The first of foil is still where I left it. Im surprised because its the one I thought
would be harder for me to find. The second which I felt confid I would find because it was in a very
definite place under a square of matting covered by dirt in a derelict corrugated iron shed that looked as if it had
not been touched for a generation is gone. And the shed is in use. There is some freshly cut wood in it. There is
graffiti on the inside walls that wasnt there last year. On one wall are the words smeared on in thick brown 
ing maybe with a cloth or paint brush: Welcum 2 My Humbl Abode; on the opposite it says Fuck OFF. From
23
there I went on across the creek to a maze of disused shedding of every conceiva purpose (including a couple
of shearing sheds) & connected to each other in a haphazard manner. They, together with items of disused
machinery, some antique but also a couple of quite modern which may be driva , are scattered over an
area of several acres. After wandering about for quite a while last year because its beautiful I was surprised to ♪
that some of the sheds are still used for storage. Then I realized that someone must come in daily to feed the
chooks that were there & that are still there today but confined to a shed. I think there were some then &
there are a couple there now. The open space has been freshly mown. The reason I wanted to go there again was
because last year I walked into a shed about  height & 2 yards wide by 2½ long with a section that reminded
me of a manger, which is what it probably originally was. The floor was d with fresh straw & there were a
couple of chook nests there with eggs. There were no eggs in a nest I saw there today. I was overcome by the
realization that the great prophet, the nazarene, was born in a shed like this, among these kind of animals,
among these kind of people. That he was this kind of person. It seemed to me in a way I couldnt understand that
this very shed was where he was born. I visited it today because I wanted to touch base with the immensity of
that revelation. …
I ♪ice in todays Age that the U.S. is about to develop a super hrax s so that it could
improve vaccines for immunity. Also it says that 2 months before the terrorist attacks the Bush administration
rejected a draft agreement designed to enforce the ban on biological weapons. U.S. objections were based on
the po ial threat to corporate intellectual property rights & to national security implied by the international
inspections regime included in the agreement. Its 1.30 & Im the only person in the bar of one of the two hotels
in Minyip. I looked into the bar of the other pub which was empty too but came here because the light is better.
I like Minyip; I think of it as a place for making decisions. It sits in the middle of a  with roads ☼ like spokes
from the hub of a wheel. About 500 people live here & when I drove into the main street not one of them was
visi . Its like that in many towns in the g t. I tried to check my message bank before leaving Marnoo with
the Optus Phone Express Card I was talked into buying by the owner of the Eaglemont newsag y. First you
dial 1800 786 956 then the pin code 268 458 6712 then it tells you youve got no messages. Except its not my
message bank but the one connected to the card which, incidentally, is transferable. To get into my message
bank I had to dial a further 10 numbers plus a 6 number pin. That comes to a total of 36 numbers. I did it many
while they kept telling me (computer voice) that my number wasnt registered. Finally I twigged: my mobile
is Telstra & this is an Optus card. Apparently it cant get into Telstra mobile message banks & its the main use I
got it for. Also I notice that it expires on the 31st august or 12 months from use whichever comes first. So its
been sitting on the shelf for over two years coz they are made to have a shelf life of three. But the main point is
this: I cant even remember my home number after a couple of beers or when Im agitated & if I were to
myself to be the kind of person who can tap out 36 numbers without making a mistake Id be nothing like who I
am or be a to have the experi es I do. (Two guys have just come in to join the only other guy in the bar &
they are from Queensland returning for a get together in Murtoa where one of them went to school. Its his first
time back in 65 years. He says he still gets a paper where he can check the y scores of the local league. He
lives on the Gold Coast & knows someone there who comes from Warracknabeal with a wife from Murtoa.
Theyve travelled about & its amazing who you can into one said. They gave some examples from trips as far
away as europe.) It may be that to become a person who does things by numbers you have to sacrifice the
awareness of vague things. This card cost me $20 & when I return to Ivanhoe Kate (c/o) from whom I bought it
can have it back free. Anyway I bought a $10 chip card of the type you insert into the slot & got through to my
mobile message bank to discover I had none. When I left Marnoo I was curious to see if I would pass the spot
where I spent my 3rd night last year, or at least the last part of it before I ed for home (via Charlton) just
before dawn. That was when I looked up to find the  in the night sky were in the wrong places. But it was
on a dirt road & today I have to keep off them because there are still plenty of heavy  about. Anyway Ive
described it in another story (see 13/2/01 - 26/2/01). (15/11/01. For the benefit of those whove read it & to
discourage H from taking too long with the typing here is a quote from Tentposts by Henri Michaux:
“If flying saucers exist they’ll take away the ever fading conviction of the few who still
claim emphatically that science – wretched error of a certain orientation by some on this
planet – could have not come about.”). I would have liked once again to have come upon the paddock
which I passed then with the alpacas (llamas?) which congregated on the other side of the fence as if they
wanted to talk to me. We stood facing each other for a long time while I tried a variety of noises to put them at
ease. I think we were in a shared space. Every now & then a braver one would come right up to me, almost to
touching dist while the shyer ones looked on enviously. The slightest baulk or shiver from the brave one
sent a ripple through the rest. Evidently they were in contact, as one. In fact there were a couple of nervous
types well back in the f who would respond to the leaders more than they did themselves & spook the rest.
24
Then wed go through the whole procedure again with me trying differ rhythms & sound textures hoping to
lure the brave ones close enough to pat their noses … 4.45. Im d in a beautiful grove of black box only a
couple of hundred yards off the single lane sealed s p that s from Minyip to Dimboola about 60ks away.
The ground is firm because its bone dry & I hope it doesnt  tonight because it looks clayey & Ive driven
straight over grass. The only vehicles going by are farming utility trucks & theres not many of them.
Incidentally, most country pubs are selling a pot of beer for $2.40 & theres hardly anyone in them most of the
whereas the Spiegel in Melbourne is charging $4.80. How do they survive? … A big  in the west made me
shift & I ed for Dimboola but turned north coz there was a lot of water lying about. Now Im in an even better
spot Ive driven to over grass into Barret Fauna & Flora Reserve. Hope it doesnt  coz Im not shifting again. Its
somewhere north of the Minyip-Dimboola rd.
1/11/01. This site is called Koolaman & its only 2ks or so south of the Aroona Ruins site. The
creek is called Aroona creek & it s through Aroona valley. Later Ill climb to Aroona hill at the top of the
valley & go on to Mt. Dib & Mt. Dab where Ill make up my mind what to do. Im taking 1: 50000 topo sheets
(Oraparinna, Blinman). I am confid that I can find my way without maps in this park, the Heysen & the
A.B.C. being such obvious features, but there is no point in taking risks cross-country. This site
is as neat as you can get, right up to international standards Id reckon. There are new toilets &  boards & they
are roofed to collect water into tanks for the use of ers. The posts are to keep the cars from compacting the
ground where its not necessary so there is plenty of green about. (just seen a red capped robin). & yes, honey,
the salvation jane is in bloom as thick as it ever was: that bug they released doesnt seem to have affected it in
the slightest. I remember that when we ed here before this site was esta ished we drove around a no access
barrier. That trip remains in my memory like a el even though the countless other trips we did were all great.
Ben, Dan & Joe came with us then. We had perfect weather & the kids were fetching water from a large crystal
pool a couple of hundred yards away which is full again now. That was the year we went on to at even better
pools (after driving across open fields along the faintest of tyre marks) on the creek that goes on to flow through
Wilkawillina Gorge. There was a ♀/♂ of grass parrots nesting in the hollow of a red gum right above where we
made our place & I saw painted finches a thousand ks south of their natural on a walk through the
gorge. Perhaps Im idealizing somewhat. I used to think all those trips were an insur against the future but
they proba y made no differ . The hard things that were going to happen happened anyway. Maybe the
lesson is what you do do for now, the future is unpredictable, it has to look after itself. 8.30…5.30. The lady at
litho house who objected to me using the  as a deterr to thieves (its on the dashboard now) later gave
me a let about a japanese christian who had survived the on Nagasaki & in spite of being extremely ill from
radiation poisoning (caused also by his original profession as a logist) & enring the loss of his family was a
to set an example of hope to many who came to know him in the last years of his life. He was seen as
something of a holy man or even by non christian japanese. I cant remember his name & I read the let very
quickly as it was poorly n but the standard of  didnt diminish the stature of the man. Though a christian he
respected japanese tradition. His main message was to preach the import of prayer. He had been much
influenced by Pascal who though a great scientist & mathematician (16th cent.) also advoed its import .
It made me wonder what it is we do when we pray. The great prophet, the nazarene, does not appear to have
been an advo of it & is known to have composed only one (in later years some christian mys wrote
fulls of devotional material) & that reluct ly. Furthermore he advised people to pray in secret & was no of
what he saw in the  which he appears to have avoi. Personally I feel the need to pray but dont know how:
the nazarenes prayer does not seem to be enough. I would like something more active like being in a large mob
of people parading down the street ting drums, blowing bugles & whistles & perhaps ch ing. But Im not a
hare krishna or a polial activist. In a previous story (see 13/8/01 - 25/8/01) I exd how when we study
we place the object of study into a subsidiary relation to us & that to a lesser extent language itself is a similar
process (perhaps thats why the prophets attitude). To assign meaning also involves an act of bringing before us,
designating a group. Technology is another kind of self assertion, as is science. But there are things we do that
are quite the opposite. Sex is a joining (though some celi churchmen may have a more mechanical
perspective on it). So too when we make offerings. When we mourn we join those who are gone. Day dreaming
is a kind of letting go. We let go when we sleep too. When we sing or make music we allow mysterious forces
to find expression through us. We become instruments. Blessed be the musicians for they shall always remain
poor (thats my plug for The Make It Up Club). The same when we d . Prayer falls into this egory of
activities. (19/11/01. As does tai-chi & the Falun Gong exercises). It seems to me that it is the very opposite of
study. In study we bring the object of our interest into a subsidiary relation to us whereas in prayer we place

25
ourselves into a subsidiary relation ; we make ourselves small. Maybe thats why it should be done in private,
hidden away.
(24/11/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 2 (nos 17 – 26 of anthology))

7/2/02 (7/2/02 – 22/2/02 (no 28)). Im at Marlay Point (2.50 pm) on Lake Wellington
about 15ks south west of Stratford through which flows the Avon (but its a differ Stratford & a differ Avon
as Im in Gippsl& not engl&). Is it possi not to be overcome by the magic of this place? I come here often. I
was here when I  what I considered to be some import observations in the titled 27/11/00 –
7/12/00. Its cover was fotographed here as was an earlier one whose title I cant remember featuring an ornate
wicker chair. Some of the material in it was hard earnt. I hope it reached its mark. (pelicans are flying over) I
drove in past a couple of west australian flowering gums in full bloom; turned left at the huge river red gum on
the shore; got out of the van on the little exposed l& (but everything is exposed here) next to the jetty; the
wind whistled in the mouth of the stubby I was holding. There is no one here other than the seagulls on the
breakwater. The car & -trailer nearby means that a is out of sight on the lake. No doubt Ill see him come in.
Im spending the night here. Its warm, large thunder are building up in the west & north. A change in
weather is predicted but Im  sitting under a blue sky. You guessed it – Im over 0.05! Distinguished citizens of
Melbourne, pillars of society, sensi par , I lay down this challenge: is any one happier & freer than I am ?
… Ive just had a couple of new ‘mini’ turkish bread buns (“97% fat free, no added sugar, excellent
source of fibre (for chunky craps), rich in carbohydrates”) with kaiserfleich, onions, tomato. H. & I
said our goodbyes just as we did last year before the equival p (see 13/2/01 – 26/2/01) under a
gardenia bloom freshly picked from the garden, redolent on the sill. I ♪ice that our goodbyes are taking longer.
Thanks honey. This morning I got up slowly. For once I didnt replace the maps in the car at the last moment.
When I told John Gr after the Make It Up Club on day night that I couldnt decide whether to go east
(where there is shade which is import when you carry a weeks supply of food in the car) or west (which
appeals because it is bleaker & less well known to me) he : “go east”. That was it; most of my decisions are
made like that: a little bit of sense (you c go north into the inland in february) & the rest intuition, hunch, ch
influ . I read the Age ♪ing the Leunig toon. (the has come in) Bought 4 days supply of bread at Coles
(also have biscuits). Didnt get away until about 10.30. Ive discovered as I get older that the more I hurry the
more likely I am to miss my appointm – so Im taking it easy. Stopped at Rosedale for a bacon & onion
burger (not as good as the one at the Bocadillo bar in Brunswick st. but at $4 less than ½ the price) & bought a
copy of the Age because I  I might want to paste the toon into the journal. Its 4.40 & the  are getting
drama. Better go for a before it ts pissing down.
take it as a warning:
dont become jealous
of time

there are times

when you should be behind
there are times
when you should go ahead

you can become

so accurate
that you feel times heartbeat
like a birds, but

better late
than  on time

why didnt you come

when I called ?

26
 asked the prophet

but the prophet had forgotten

that while he was asleep
many had come
and many had gone

there are wheels in clocks and watches

wheels of time
there are wheels in bureauc ic departments
wheels within wheels

and a man may easily

be tangled up
in all those wheels

but dont worry

it doesnt matter

as long as you are in time with

the wheels of god

14/2 /02. 8.30. Yesterday evening I gave away the set of outs I had brought with me for just such
an occasion. It included all the stories I  last year & the first one I put out this year (The Hat). Giving away
my stuff to someone I meet by ch & will proba y not meet again is right down the middle of what I do.
(just an azure king er; the lady to whom I gave my stuff says they are rare in the area). Her name is Sally &
she works in a library, presuma y in Narooma, as she is a local. She was walking her  at ☼set along the outlet
when we got talking but we had already exchanged a few words in the arvo when we found ourselves separated
by only a screen of dense bushes engrossed in similar tasks: she had a board on her lap on which she was
sketching a vine & I was  my journal en resting it on a board on my knees. She had come back looking for
a  shed lost. I asked her who owned the imposing  on top of the hill overlooking the picnic area. All up &
down the east coast you get these huge rich mens  with well tensioned barb wire fencing, trespassers
prosecuted signs, & some even private strips as this one has. They tend to be on tops & often have
observation towers. She turned out to be very informative as people who work in libraries should be & often
are. The “urban myth” in Narooma is that it belongs to Mel Gibson but she reckons its a differ Gibson, one of
a group of a consortium of americans. She also knew about the owner of various other large  especially
in the stretch of coast between Bermagui & Tathra. So we were a to talk about things we knew in common
including an architects  that is right on the beach that I had mentioned in the story, now in her possession, I
 this last year. She is a of Steinbecks  & went to some kind of  fest at Rodney Halls place
because a local  had 10 a play based on a Steinbeck story. Now it so happens that Rodney Hall is
on my ing list as a result of a ch meeting I had with a ♀/♂ that were going to a poe reading there when
I was  ed nearby. I gave them a one year set of stories just as I did yesterday to Sally. I was interested to h
 her stories about him as Ive never met the man. Appar ly he is the most pompous character she has ever
come a†. Shed be a good judge as she struck me as the opposite, very persona & unpre ious. Incidentally she
 compulsively herself but says shed never publish. Appar ly Rodney Hall  poe & puts on an
impressive display at readings. (a jogger has just arrived & is stretching his strings by the water, he hasnt
seen me) She told me other stories about him which I wont repeat. It is my observation that being pompous is
the surest sign of an impoverished imagination. I have just struck you off my ing list Rodney! Im about to
have a  (in the nuddy) & drive back to the “primitive” area (where the guy who caught 19 kilos of prawns
 me there are overnight fees but as its administered from Batemans Bay no one collects them out of season)
among the spotted gum (eucalyptus maculata) where Ill  the in the shade & south …. 6.50. I left at
10.30 & was back at 5.30. It was as good a day as you get. I recommend the walk: its a perfect bal of rocky

27
shore , beaches of various lengths, beautiful lakes backing them, a couple of attractive lands & its all easy
strolling, good for daydreaming. I turned around when I got to the long beach that goes to the edge of
Bermagui. Sat in the mouth of the Tilba Tilba lake hanging onto a rock as the water raced out on a falling tide
for at least ½ an hour. It was body tempe ure & I needed a wash. Snorkelled in a rock pool in colder water to
test out the new  plugs. Theyre OK. Saw another ♀/♂ where the woman was kers & her partner in
bathers. That must the fashion here, or are the guys shy? Their converti was  nearby; they had driven
down the private track from one of the millionaires . I find these  with their observation turrets a bit of a
negative but what the heck, if they want to spy on you thats fine with me. They are usually a long way from the
beach where they have a commanding view of all the land they own. Much of this coast can only be
accessed through private property but the owners are obliged to let you through to certain spots. These are
usually great spots that are known to practically no one & I found a beauty. Its called Hoyers Camping Park &
its on Little Lake with the beach over the ne at the back a few hundred yards away. It must have been the
private hideaway of the Hoyer family thats been taken over by the parks people. Im going to try to get there to
spend a couple of nights by myself as I think it would be conducive to . Ive driven back to the kerchief
Beach picnic area as I like being a to take a dip out the back of my kitchen first thing in the morning. I felt
today I was getting into the right rhythm, into bal with the surroundings.
21/2 /02. A few years back I had a vision. Im calling it that because it was more vivid than
something you when you are awake by as much again as the waking state is than dreaming. Its still with me
less vividly in the minds  though the visceral intensity of the feelings that accompanied it are only a memory.
It happened when I was lying in the van somewhere on the coast north of Ulladulla. It was quite brief. It was of
s& & the b chlets of a straggly green bush. Its special effect came from my realization that I was seeing it just
in front of my  as I would if I was lying on the ground. It was a bright day. A particular stillness that
accompanied what I was seeing (or was it in the gaze?) stayed with me for hours afterwards (the rest of the
day? I cant remember). I interpreted it to be a premonition of my  on a sandy beach. & my friends, I must tell
you, it felt good. (3/3/02. “And I am half in love with easeful death” (Keats I think) – helenz). I dont know if
the interpretation was itself part of the vision or took place immediately afterwards but the realization that the
scene could be a place in inland australia came a bit later. Last night it occurred to me that it could just as easily
have been a vision of what I was seeing as I was dying rather than of the place where I was seeing it. Or it may
have no signific . I had deci before I left on this trip that Id incorpo e into my journal ♪♫ a document of
requests covering illness,  & ing for situations where relatives might be asked to make decisions, especially
medical ones, on my behalf. I told several people (including Joe) to expect it & have left it almost too late. Last
night I realized how difficult it is to talk about as if the language belonged elsewhere to age ies in society,
doctors, clerics or professional experts rather than to me whom it concerns the most. Perhaps it is  itself that
refuses to be interrogated. I am ing east into an ocean only a 100 yards away. The early morning ☼ is ☼ing
directly onto the page. There were periods of heavy  last night which together with the sound of the waves
contributed to good sleep. I am of a clear mind. It seems that I should make some general remarks that would
protect me from being misinterpreted. I have no idea how to go about it. A person (Hans) that I used to play
chess with when I lived in White Cliffs many years ago & who in spite of his reputation for eccentricity never
allowed me to win a game d from internal bleeding when he was proba y younger than I am now. He had an
interesting past. He had been a soldier in Rommels army in africa & had avoided years in detention simply by
not turning up at the appointed for the formal surrender. He put on civilian clothes, went the opposite way, &
spent the remaining years of the war with an arab family. At the time he d he had moved to a mine (opals)
some 20 miles out of White Cliffs because it had become too modern for him. This happened long after I had
left. I found out later when I was visiting. His goats were still browsing in the vicinity of the dugout (he might
have been the first person to move into one; that was in the early war years) & were looked after by
neighbours as a reminder of the man. People talked about him in a low voice implying that he had committed
sui. It was said that he could easily have got the medical attention he nee if he had come into White Cliffs
from where he could have been  to hospital by the  doctor service ope ing out of Broken Hill. I have a
differ view. I think is was a simple, natural  appropriate to the man & his st s. Whether you can call it
sui is de able but that his survival had he sought tment would have been a case of his life being arti
ially prolonged is not. Besides playing chess we used to get into the occasional long ‘philosophic’
discussion which cemented our mutual respect. I think it was for him to leave. His way of ing ensured he
retains an import place in my memory.

28
 … H says that the nursing homes she is visiting are depressing places. The majority of pati are in
various stages of dementia, wandering about without knowing where or who they are. If it were possi that I
would end up like that it would be a denial of my life, of any small example that I may have set. Jorge Luis
Borges used to cl , with some insist for such a mild man, that he couldnt think of anything worse that to
be sentenced to eternal life (but then undermined his position by accepting the last rites in the holic church). I
go further. I have no ambition to live longer than I already have. Old people in good health some draw my
attention to their age as if it were their proudest achievement. I am not impressed. I have already lived longer
than the life expect y of many people in third world coun & I have not deserved it as much as they do.
Good luck, not good management, has ensured that I have had it easy. I have looked about me & never seen
anyone with whom I would have liked to exchange places. There is nothing that I might want which $$$ can
buy that I cannot afford. Yes, people call out (in fact clamour to be heard) for help but it is only through  that
I am confid I can be of some value & I already have said what I know. I have sat under the tail gate on the
back bumper of the van at nightfall, stubby in , ntless & felt that I was complete. In rec I have had
the experi on several occasions of the abs of all desire. It is a st ge sensation & may the same the
buddhists speak of as a necessary stage.

Yearning hurts, and what release may come of it feels much like death.
Heraclitus

…(2.00. Gypsy Point) The pro em is that there are all kinds of unforseen st s that are out of my
control. I can be knocked off the  (more ch of me getting  or injured that way than an allied soldier has
from enemy in afghanistan) & be in a coma or b damaged. I could have a stroke, aneurysm or a host of
other events that could leave me una to give a clear expression of my wishes. I could be agnosed with
alzheimers or age related dementia. In the case of the last two I would attend to it provi I knew early enough.
My desire to look after myself comes mainly from wanting to provide a backup for H in her efforts to help
other family members: I would not only be useless but an impediment if I had those conditions. But perhaps by
the people are agnosed with them (or just in excessive old age) they have already lost the capa ity or the
insight required to do anything about it. In which case please take me on long bush walks in remote coun ; or
snorkelling. Please do not  me if Im una to do it myself. If I am ing from some simply rectifiable condition
such as bleeding or pneumonia it would be ridiculous to take measures to prevent it. Above all dont me up
somewhere where I cant get away & get lost. That is if you respect me.
… (6.30 Marlay Point) I, John Arunas Zizys of Ivanhoe & West Melbourne, being of sound mind &
having d k only one stubby of beer for the day (to this point) request that in all cases where a choice is to be
made (even if the procedure is a simple one) between me ing & a medical intervention being performed that I
be allowed to  unless I request the procedure. (A case in point would be if I was unconscious & bleeding to 
I would not want a blood t sfusion even if the prospect of a full recovery was high). In the case of there being
a choice tween ing in a hospital or at home (ie any terminal illness) I ask that I be allowed to be at home. I
hope that in such st s I am still a to access the help of medical sci for pain re . Another request
though of less import is that I not be dissected & I do not want to donate body organs. Also I would prefer
that my  be @10 to in the least expensive way (I wouldnt want it to cost more than the  of s t people I
see in North Melbourne). I do not want a funeral, newspaper ♪ice, marked grave or anything like that (4/3/02.
having said plenty already). I think the prophet of nazareth made a comment about the  which went
something along the : if you cant revive them, leave them be (28/11/08. nthwerdz vth bush jr:
“while ya live, live in clover; coz when yer , yer  orl over”). Heraclitus :
Corpses, like night soil, get carted off.
18/4 /02 (15/4/02 – 26/4/02 (no 29) *….* ← Port Germein (no 58)). *2.50 pm. Port
Kenny. Forgot to mention yesterday that there is a pub in the main strip of Port Pirie advertising  &
“continental ” at $25/night. That gives you an idea how much in demand it is with travellers. Got through to
H last night with the first effort. Everything is OK & Vis mood has improved. That must be the effect of the
blood t sfusion & what I presume is the extra supply of oxygen to the b. Kate  to say that in her first
lesson on the teaching round which was with a year 7 group they riot. Thatll learn her. I had thought she was
overconfident when I saw her at Threshermans last week. H read Joes first effort at an essay as a tertiary
humanities student & said it was pretty slick. I reckon humanities might suit him (27/5/05. ddnt): hes got the
gift of the gab. I got up early this morning (6.30) & drove to the pier for  (& the toilet (17/5/02. My initials
29
were still on the inside of the door.)). ed a cockroach in the back of the car. Do you remember, honey, the guy
on the  with a little white  that we got into conversation with on the pier a few years back? He had it in for
blackfellas, immig ts (etc.) We thought he was pretty smart but a lonely person. I always see him when Im
here (28/11/08. 3/10/96 ) but dont give him the opportunity to strike up a conversation. Anyway he
remarked that he hadnt seen me for a few months which shows hes been ♪icing. It turns out hes just bought a b
d new VW . So much for looking poor!* He paid $37000 & its a long wheel base (40cms longer)
tradesmans . He got a diesel as all his previous vehicles have been diesels & he  nothing goes wrong with
the engines. He was very pleas & came back with the brochure manual which Ive kept. There is a version of
the for a few thou extra that is called a ‘syncro’ where there is a diff to the back wheels so that if the front
ones are losing grip the back ones get automatically engaged. Sounds pretty good: maybe its what we should
get. He says its about the same size inside as the Urvan. I keep getting good reports on them. This morning I
shopped up in Port Augusta (9/5/02. Worlds End. Where the mayor (a woman) who is trying to prevent 15
children in the detention centre from attending local schools has described the children of detainees as
“appalling and abhorrent” but the mayor of the neighbouring city of Whyalla, also a woman, has rejected the
description “at the risk of upsetting people”) (ring last years election campaign the mayor of Port Lincoln
(major city of the Eyre Peninsula) whose surname suggests he is of croatian or serbian background said that if
“illegals” were threatening to jump overboard they should be told to go a & left to drown.) before driving the
330 or so ks to here along H1 through Iron Knob, Kimba & Wudinna. I decided to t here because I had
stopped for a meal in the Venus Bay Conservation Reserve when I came through last year & had remembered it
as a place where you might get shade. The park borders about 13 ks of the northern shore of the bay (not be
be confused with Venus Bay in Victoria; & there is a town called Venus Bay here too, on the southern shore
.) But when I checked it out today I realized none of the scrub was tall enough to get the under. Its been hot
all day with a northerly blowing & Im fully stocked up with food. Luckily a gusty cool change has just come
through. I  the along one of the walls of a shed at the pier so that at least a bit of it was out of the ☼.
There are several sheds & water tanks & motors t up & go off on automa. St ly theres no toilet: I had
to go for a crap & wasnt going to pack up & drive to the pub or garage to look for one, so I used the old method
of lifting up the only sizea of loose concrete I could find in the lea of a shed (but youre visi here from
almost every direction; thats the thing about fl@ coun ) & discovered that someone else had done the same.
Thereve been a few people walk to the end of the pier but most of the theres no one & it would be a good
place to spend the night except for the noise of the motors. Also Ive just ♪iced there are a couple of : so its
out. Ill in the conservation park at a spot I sussed out. Theres a bit of a track going north through the scrub
which might be nice to walk along tomorrow. The track that goes along the coast (for 13 ks) is very corrugated.
There are lots of  on the shore. Some pelicans are watching to see if Im the sort of guy who fillets &a
bunch of seagulls perched over me on electric wires are also interested. There are ducks on the shore
(australasian teal) but the most ♪icea  for me are the banded stilts (Himantopus himantopus) as I dont
them often. I ♪iced they were numerous when I was driving into Port Augusta too. You c escape knowing that
the Western Hawks won the local premier in 2001. Its painted up in blue & yellow all over the place
including on the sur of the highway. There is a pub, garage, office/general store in town & Im about to find
out if theres also a public toilet before going to my spot for the night in the park. Might get another stubby also.
I know from long experi that when you get into coun you dont understand the best way to t is by
getting d k. It dawned on me after awhile that there are no rivers this side of Port Augusta & now that I  of it
I never even crossed a creek. Its limestone coun . (Gintas told me the other day that he knows this area from
his & Venetas thorough explo ion of australias southern coast that they did over 5 days (Melbourne –
Perth) in his 4x4 Rover ring summer.) ….. Stopped at the store to see if there was a suita local  to
send to Tom Fryer as he had requested. Sent him the one of the 3 koalas on a lush green lawn because there
wouldnt be a koala within 1000 ks of here & I never saw any green grass between here & Port Augusta neither
& they live up in . Tom (who works for the ) was probably expecting an example of -art from me but,
mate, Ive quit the genre. I quit a year ago, long before september 11 & tell aussie I never done it. I never flue
them . It woznt me. I no nuffin. I quit because them holding back me  was makin me paranoid &
because I lost interest & wanted to concent e on  old fashioned . & events subsequ to sept.11,
especially the spate of  with white powders in em, confirmed me in my decision. ar right for -art.
Thats one art form that has had its useby date. (15/5/02. a …..zz please take ♪.) Pass that on to your bosses &
the govt. & asio & the cia & mossad & chekka & George Bush & anyone else whats . I tell you Im innoc .
Totally innoc ! (& Ive never been inside the rent-a- place in Clarendon st Sth. Melb. neither) (& I aint a
member of al Qaeda & I havent even read Arabian Nites).
30
 and so you wander like a dream
along the shores of other minds
where youthful hopes come rolling in
to break in froth against the rocks
the beach is littered with remains
of ill-conceived forgotten plans

swirling currents of the deep

give birth to tender fragile life
on the water comes a seed
and sends down roots into the sand

you notice then the seagulls swoop

on a bleached and tattered scrap
and suddenly the air is filled
with screams of hunger and of hate
25/4 /02. 8.20 am (7.50 SA ). Yesterday evening after  but still in good as I sat in the car
after completing the journal entry I heard the familiar mad scamper of . I had assumed whenever I d
it at night that he was ing about in the interior of the car, perhaps along the plas curtains & upside down on
the upholy of the ceiling. So I was surprised to discover that he was (I could track his movements exactly) in
the ceiling cavity between the upholy & the roof panels. That put a new dimension on it as it exed why I
could never ch him by emptying out the car. The panels themselves are hollow with access holes on the inner
sur giving him large spaces to roam in complete safety. I also realized that he wasnt going to  of thirst.
The whole body is rusty & I hear water dripping in several spots inside the panels when it . I went to  in
what has become my normal state of alertness. The rubbish bag had an empty milk ton & kipper fillets tin in
it for bait. It was a new bag to replace the holed one made of a very crisp plas that crackled at the s est
touch. I also had some crackly cellophane inside that the corn thins had been in. I put the bag in a more st
egic position lower down with the opening against the top of a box to encourage him to walk straight into the
open larder instead of gnawing from the bottom. It wasnt long before I heard the familiar pattering, small
clattering (loose items in the open box I keep ary,  etc. in) & then rustling. I gave him plenty of to give
him a ch to get engrossed in the gnawing so he wouldnt me putting on the  , getting out of the sleeping
bag & creeping to lean over the back seat ready to clap the top of the bag shut. Everything went to plan & there
I was kers, triumph ly holding the bag next to mylistening for any sound inside. I wanted to be sure this .
His technique was to lie very still pretending he wasnt there then after enough had passed without me moving
the bag Id  him stir. After putting on my sandals holding the neck of the bag in one I gave it a thorough
shaking & once again held it very still. Sure enough after awhile there was a faint rustling. It didnt bother me
going out naked into a cool, breezy night spitting with  100 yards into the bushes to shake the bag out – I was
that excited. I shook everything out as I was meaning to collect & bury the rubbish when I got up in the
morning which Ive done. I had thoughtlessly taken off the  so I didnt actually get to see him scamper away
but I wasnt feeling sentimental. I got back into  with re rather than joy. I was beginning to forget what a
good nights sleep felt like. I lay there lapping up the precious & quiet when I heard the familiar scamper,
then the rustling. Then the rustling was much louder & I realized he was scram ing about in the empty bag.
Once again I was hovering over it & sure enough there he was inside making little jumps unable to get out. I
didnt even have to snatch at the bag to close the neck before making absolutely sure he was inside this . It was
only the second opportunity I had had to set  on him properly. I sat on the seat holding it in front of my 
gloating. I forgot to put on the sandals but I had my  on as I trekked naked into the scrub. I still didnt see
him when I shook the bag open but I knew the little buggers can move like greased . I carefully checked
inside the bag & smoothed it out to be absolutely sure I wasnt carrying him back inside. This I did feel joy as
I crawled back into the cot & heaved a sigh of pleasure. It felt like a special occasion & to mark it I checked the
. It was only 9.10 pm, plenty of for a good nights sleep. Then I heard the familiar scamper in what I now
knew was the ceiling of the van. That was the moment I realized for the first time, with a sense between
hopelessness & resignation, that what I had in the car was not a mouse with an o but mice with an i. I collected
my . I definitely knew I had thrown one out but proba y I had thrown out 4 when you nted the two

31
efforts on previous days. I had one other mouse still in the car but proba y more. I had refined a method of
trapping them using the Technical Shop take away bag. The bag was set. I caught another one exactly at
midnight. After that it was quiet for a long time & I was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I had seen
the last of them. I wasnt confid though & at 12.50 I had another one. These last two had been considera y
bigger than the one I had got earlier & I reckon that given time they would have scram ed out of the bag if I
had left them. From then on it was quiet & my confid grew as I realized that after each event the overall
noise level of sc chings, rustling, small thumps & scampers had been decreasing. It was a good sign. Finally I
fell into a deep sleep from which I didnt wake till a bit before dawn when I heard the patter of in the
ceiling again. It was a one off & perhaps I dreamt it. Ive smoothed out & carefully folded the plas bag in case
I need it in the future & will set it tonight. Should you want to employ the same method you get them when you
buy a from Australias Largest Technical and Specialist shop. 295 Swanston Street Melbourne 3000
Australia.  0396633951. Fax 0396632094. info@ tech .com.au http://www.techboo-ks.com.au The  to it
is the kind of plas the bag is made of: it is too slippy for them to get a hold to climb out.
*
(5.20 pm. Coll. 9.12 – Ess 4.9. Hi, Don!) Got engrossed in watching the sea this
morning for over an hour. You get a perfect overview of the whole colony from the platform at the cliff top.
There are about 80 animals. (28/4/02. nted about another 50 on the g ite island just off Cape Blanche 20 ks
away. The whole area between should be a conservation zone instead of the pitiful 2 ks or so around Point
Labatt. Saw a squid trawler all just off the point this morning. Sea eat squid, cuttle & lob.)
The nt I did a couple of days ago is incorrect because I mistakenly included some ordinary fur seals in a
group out on the furthest rocks. A smaller number of fur seals were there again this morning. Its an amazing
natural wonder & the whole peninsula should be a national park to protect them instead of the scrub being sold
off. They were much more active today & noisy. They breed alternately in winter & summer every 18 months.
There were plenty of pups suckling mothers as they lay about on their backs. There was one majesbull with a
harem of about 7 ♀♀ who lay with one flipper casually over the biggest ♀s neck. Sea are well shaped
for snuggling together & tend to lie about in groups. ♀♀ are most numerous as the ♂♂ roam away visiting
colonies hundreds of kilometres away. hang around the colony but apparently a sea can outswim
them. There was a very small pup, the smallest by far in the whole colony, who was wandering about from one
♀ to the other but always getting rebuffed. I had ♪iced him the day before yesterday too. He must have been
abandoned or his mother taken at sea. I think he was starving to . Some when a pup finished suckling an
apparently sleeping mother he would try to slowly edge his way to the teat but shed always wake up & chase
him off. When a mother went crook at him hed flatten himself on the ground submissively. On one occasion he
cried piteously but no one took any ♪ice. The colony looks very comfortable among the flattish roun red g ite
rocks that make a platform that juts hundreds of metres into the sea with many convenient swimming pools for
the pups. The surrounding land was donated to the conservation people by the local landowner so that the
colony would be better protected as they were getting from the clifftop. Afterwards I went for a walk along
the edge of the very spectacular cliff that runs for 10 or so kilometres to Cape Radstock. From the highest point
at the cape you get a comprehensive view over Jones Island & the mouth of Baird Bay back along the coast I
had come including my ing spot before this one & the one on the cliff edge where I must have collected the
mice. I hurried back along a straighter as I wanted to get in the last quarter of the Coll/Ess y match
which I knew from last week was being  on the local station. The walk took about 5 hours. When I got back I
had another @ the colony hoping that the mother of the pup was back but the situation hadnt changed. Drove
back to the spot behind the beach & listened to the last quarter of the y as I ate . Yair … a pretty good
day.

i am afraid one day as i look

at the tiny shells left by
the receding tide

i will
see such beauty
that knowing it to be
only the faintest reflection
of the far greater beauty
my dim eyes
32
 cannot see

my mind
will be shattered
like coloured glass and i will
never be able to put it into words

14/8 /02. 5.15 pm. The sky is clear. I am being ed by mild breezes. Serenaded by a couple of
blow . calls. The ☼ still has 20 minutes or so before it dips behind a . Yep, this is what the inland
is supposed to be like. I am in an amphitheatre of low that are the beginning of the Gawler Ranges
on the road from Kimba. The spot is at the end of a track of about 2 ks that comes off the Kimba/Thurlga road
about 92 ks from Kimba. Ive just climbed up a to get an overview (‘Spring Hill’ (377 meters), I think;
could see a bit of Lake Gairdner (?) to the east). Kimba is on the Eyre highway 155 ks past Port Augusta where
I shopped this morning (bought a huge amount of fresh fruit & vegs: tomatoes, onions, kiwi fruit, mandarins, o
ges, apples, pears, avocados) so that I am provisioned for 2 weeks if need be. On the way into Port Augusta in
the 80 k/hour zone I passed a cop ing a radar at me. I glanced at the speedo & I think I was doing 81 or 82
ks but he let me be. Maybe 80 doesnt mean 80 as it does in Victoria. When I was filling up with petrol outside
the Woolworths supermarket an old koori with a heap of what were probably his g dkids went into the service
area to buy lollies for the rowdy tribe. I think he was d k or playful & maybe he couldnt nt because when
the attend was ing back his change he snatched at it before it was fully nted out of the till. As they were
leaving the attend said: “jeezus, theyre hopeless”. I got 9 ks to the litre again but between Port Augusta &
Kimba it was 8 ks. I reckon the way I drive in the bush that with a full load as now Ive got a of about 470
ks (440-500). The sign as you enter Kimba says that it is the eastern gateway to the Gawler & it
invites you to attend the Gawler Challenge (Beyond & Back) from Oct 4-7th. Good to know so as
to avoid being in the vicinity. From the signage (“Half Way Across Australia” etc) its obvious that Kimba is
promoting itself as a tourist centre. (5.40 & now that the ☼ is behind the its getting a bit chilly). There is
a gi galah by the roadside. Also there are ♪ices about the Gawler National Park of which I
havent been aware (29/11/08. Tuesday 23/9/08 – 25/9/08 – Monday 29/9/08 t) even though
Ive been in the quite a bit recently. Thats because Ive been coming into them by turning off at Iron
Knob. At the petrol station I was ed a map of the town & of ‘step by step’ directions out of the town to the
national park. The ‘step by step’ tells you to set your trip meter at 0 when you pass the oval gates on the way out
of town & then they guide you intersection by intersection, through the wheat coun north west of Kimba
which is a maze of roads, past Buckleboo H.S. to the turnoff to Paney H.S. which is the gers office. Only
problem is that the first 3 sets of directions are wrong: where it says that at 19.9 ks you pass Scotts Road on
your left its on your right & Bascombe Rocks Road which they say is on your right at 21.8 ks is actually on
your left & Toms Road (23.1) is on the right instead of left. I turned around at Toms Road & drove back to the
sealed road (wasting 15 ks of fuel) to t again thinking maybe I was being confused by the second of the 3
stubbies of Coopers I had got at Kimba. Anyway the directions are the opposite to what they should be which I
can understand as H also says left when she means right & vice versa when she is navigating for me. (31/8/02.
the map is obviously for people coming back from the park, silly - helenz) . To make it more confusing,
however, from then on the rest of the directions have it right (31/8/02. thats the bit for when youre going to
the park – you just have to use the right bits at the right time - helenz) . This document has been put out by
the Kimba Tourism Focus Group who “trust that you will enjoy your visit.” Just before Buckleboo homestead as
I was driving past a f of about 30 emus ing off away from the road I slowed down to about 40 ks because 2
stragglers had been left on the opposite side of the road behind a fence. I was  to meself that emus are as
stupid as but didnt icipate the one that in a single bound lunged through the st ds of wire & barged
into the side of the van. (31/8/02. it had lost its map and its focus group, too, poor thing -helenz). Its an
awful feeling as Ive done 000s of $$ of damage to a previous by clipping an emu. But there is no dent & the
emu off OK too. There are very large f of them about & on the side track into here I saw several with very
tiny chicks which nevertheless s er along. I ignored the turnoff to the national park wanting to avoid
regulations & tourists, (31/8/02. no fear of that – theyre still milling about round Scotts Road, Bascombe
Rocks Road and Toms Road -helenz) & here I am.

Ego Sum Qui Sum

33
 Ich Bin Der Ich Bin
Soy El Que Soy
Ehyeh asher ehyeh

21/8 /02. Sandy, the owner, just  over in his . He had said he might. Thanks mate. He did a
slow  round the site & when I stood up & waved he ackn edged with an electronic bleep. Might see him
later in the day, if not hell get to read this. I barely remember the article in the Age about Lake Acraman which
I
read sitting in the seat of the bakehouse café in Errol st, Nth Melbourne where I sometimes have . It was
enough for me to discover that the lake had been formed by an asteroid. I probably dismissed the rest as a
beat up that they pull from the files to fill up space. I think it mentioned that this was one of the largest events of
its kind. Maybe a meteor this size raised the dust cloud that obscured the ☼ to end, according to some theorists,
the rule of the dinosaurs. Over the last day & a couple of nights I have felt dumfoun by  of the largeness
of it. It complements a perception I have had for several years that I am witnessing the final stage of the
civilization that has nurtured me & whose achievements I had admired. Or even the final stages of man as we
have celeb ed him. In such a context my observations & musings are inconsequential. I am aware that I
cannot find words for the things I most wish to express & that it may be that there are none. It is worth
reminding ourselves that the most import things are already known to simpletons & children. It occurs to me
that this is the place to end the of  that I will be putting out when I get back to Melbourne in a week or so.
To finish off I put in a poem that is a favourite of a friend.

Pigeons

Flight of pigeons over ploughed fields –

a wingbeat more swift than beauty
that cannot catch up with such speed
but remains in my heart as discomfort.

As if the laughter of pigeons too could be heard

in front of the dovecotes, dwarf dwellings painted green,
and I begin to consider
whether flight is important to them,
what rank they accord to the earthward glance
and how they value the pecking of grain,
how the recognition of hawks.

I advise myself to be afraid of pigeons.

You are not their master, I say, when you throw them food,
when you fasten messages to their legs,
when you breed curious variants, new colours,
new crests, or tufts of feathers above the feet.
Put no trust in your power,
then you’ll not be astonished
when you discover how little you count,

that beside your kind there are hidden kingdoms,

languages without sounds that cannot be studied,
dominions without power and unassailable;
that decisions are made by the pigeons flight.
Gunter Eich
26/9 /02 (21/9/02 – 3/10/02 (cursive by helenZ; plain by a…z@) (no 32)). A fine day,
though a cold wind, & we are in a terrific spot where a tree-lined lane crosses a pretty, flowing creek which
feeds the Glenelg. The countryside around here is rich & rolling & green – they havent had so severe a
season here as elsewhere, though the Rocklands Reservoir where we had lunch is down to 6% of its
capacity. After a walk to get our breakfast digested, in lovely park-like forest, we drove in a meandering
34
fashion to Balmoral where we got the paper in the grocery store & read it in the pub. The proprietor of the
store was an ex-Eltham woman whose husband had been a ranger in the Westerfolds Park on the Yarra.
She knows Tamie Fraser (Malcolm’s wife) who used to play a round or two at the local golf club &
Malcolm’s sister-in-law who is an author – one of her books is called “Life Wasn’t Meant To Be Easy”. Both
ladies are held in high esteem by the storekeeper, being friendly, down-to-earth & with a good sense of
humour, traits Big Mal tended to lack whilst he was PM. Although now he is a cat with different stripes,
being an impressive & expressive voice for humanity & moderation in our domestic & foreign behaviour. I
have grown quite fond of him. He certainly makes anyone else in the current Lib. & Lab. parties look like
red-necked nincompoops of no morals or principles. Balmoral also boasts some trendy architecture – one
round house with a big window made of stubbies & one built into the side of a hill with a turf roof. The pub
was pleasant & the proprietor gave John his beer free, as it was the first pulled for the day. She had a
coffee machine, so I had a cappucino, for which she apologized, as she was waiting for a new supply of
coffee & 2000 sugar sticks to come from Melbourne by post. It was OK for me, as I only drink it for the
froth anyway. The town is small but has a post office, bank, takeaway food shop, grocery store & a farm
agents place selling lethal poisons to get rid of rats & mice, & to spray on sheep for whatever afflicts them.
The next town, Harrow, is an “historic village” & has an old jail made entirely of logs & some pretty
cottages as well as a Major Mitchell marker – that military gentleman camped close by in 1836. After
Harrow we drove to where the Moree Bridge crosses the Glenelg & then headed back towards Harrow via
the very pretty ridge road from which we found this great spot. Now for some noodle soup, out of the wind
next to the creek. On the road between Cherrypool & Balmoral the Rocklands lake is accessible in a few
places. Since it is 94% empty, we didn’t get to see it, but did spot a glint of water in the distance, so set
off to investigate. All that’s left in this particular spot is about 3”- 6” of water in the original stream bed &
it wasn’t flowing. We took off our shoes & socks & trousers & waded along for awhile, surrounded by high
reeds & dead trees – it was interesting to be walking on what is usually under quite a depth of water.
We cling 2gether as close as we can pre10ding the rest of the , our domes responsi ties,
barely exist. Yesterday at Horsham we checked our . I think both of us did it reluct ly & were
relieved when the only messages were from Kate wishing us a good trip. It is my conviction that at
the core of all immorality is the capacity people have to erect barriers between themselves & others.
(8/10/02. Because wealth makes us desire them, gives us the means to erect them, & makes us
dependent on them it is as difficult for a rich man ….) By that measure it may be that we are guilty.
But I am weak & to leave yourself susceptible to the distress of others & the s confusions is too
painful. Two people join together & even their indivial cares melt away as they become a differ ,
third person. To talk of morality is to talk also for others & I would like to avoid it but to say that I 
only for myself is no less a conceit for it is to imply that I am suffici unto myself as if I am not formed
entirely by others.
3/10/02. We have camped early today, at Devil’s Kitchen near Linton, in the Golden Plains
Shire, where a running stream traverses a roughly circular amphitheatre of basalt columnar rocks. The
bottom of the bowl is the tailings of a small gold field, now mainly covered in blackberries, bracken &
gorse. However there is a beautiful pool where the stream turns the corner out of the bowl , and a large
grassy flat which you can only see by walking further into the bowl from the entrance. The town of Linton
could well turn it into a very attractive & much visited spot to boost the local economy. Though it is
obviously used (there are 3 kids here now who were dropped off by their mum for a toss of the footy down
on the flat), it certainly is not on any well-beaten tourist track. This morning the bullocks revisited but were
disappointed once again. We decided to try our luck in recovering the knife we left at the Bulart Bridge
picnic spot, so drove there through Coleraine again, & sure enough, there it was still on the table – goes to
show how far off the tourist route we go. Then to Hamilton for coffee & paper reading: a big, prosperous
looking town with a very impressive race-course. As we are planning to arrive in Melbourne tomorrow, we
struck out eastward along roads parallel to the 2 major highways (Hamilton & Glenelg), most of which
were sealed or of excellent gravel. There are lots of lakes dotting the landscape, including Lake Linlithgow
which has a promontory covered in big old cedar trees & would have been a magnificent spot to stop over.
We’ll keep it in mind for a future trip. Some of the impressions I’ll keep from this trip are the beauty of the
trees (yellow gums & river red gums) on the rolling hills on the western side of the Grampians, where
many paddocks are liberally dotted with huge, intricately branched individuals; the many lakes, some
fresh, some salt, which occupy natural depressions in the landscape; the greenness of the area compared
to the North & the parts closer to Melbourne; the large number of sulphur-crested cockatoos & corellas
that seem to be the dominant birds in the area, and finally, the quiet beauty of the lanes that criss-cross
the landscape, which reflect the true nature of the country,where travel is slow & the small things (a hare
loping across an open space, a fox watching a burrow intently, swans grazing in paddocks with sheep, an
intricately made , mortarless, old basalt stone wall far more breathtaking than Mr. Myers expensive
kilometre of sandstone) delight.
More assorted info. The barman at the Balmoral pub claims that the sur 2’ of
Rocklands reservoir nearby holds 50% of the water. I could tell that the lady herding with her
kid & a young poorly ed  (their good  was back at the wool shed) who told us about Alan

35
Myers brewery in austria was a private school product (4/10/02. Parents send their kids to these
expensive religious schools to teach them to respect $$$ (29/11/08. Wednesday 10/9/08).).
When we were in Dunkeld we surprised a  playing with a honey eater & saved the s life. The guy
who came over to talk to us when he spotted us pulled over poring over a map at Merino is working
on an old bus he intends to live & travel in. He was very full of information & reckons you would see
the Grampians from the S.A. border (perhaps dis nting the curvature of the ) if it wasnt for
a small intervening . He advised us to take the road from Dartmoor (10/10/02. Where there are
about 6 ugly statues of soldiers & settlers & Mother Mary Macillop, carved out of the stumps of trees along
one of the main streets a la those in Lakes Entrance . There some magnificent cedars were reduced to
ghastly bits of amateurish woodcarving. I hope its not a growing trend as it is appearing at both ends of
the state.) to Casterton for its scenic values & the great examples of river red gums (Eu.
camaldulensis) along the way, but the road was drab going mainly through plantations of & blue
gum (?). I reckon he has never been on it. We went through 3 towns claiming to be the first inland
settlement (by the Hentys) in Victoria: Merino, Digby & Dartmoor. Casterton & Coleraine are both
classic small coun towns in hollows surrounded by green rolling & with s ms flowing
through them & parks by lakes. (as I sit  the peregrine falcon (Falco peregrinus) nearby sitting on
a nest in the rock is making alarm calls at regular intervals & just now flew to a wall over ing us to
register a protest). (4/10/02. Its call is like a baby begging for food. I was here when it was
nesting last year too. See 22/10/01 - 2/11/01 p3). The spot we were at last night next to the
paddock with the bullocks that came to investigate was chosen by H. Unlike most of our sites
which have been among river red gums it was in a copse of scrubby stringy bark (Eu. baxterii, I
think). Today we entered Hamilton past some gi woolbales & left past a gi bilby. In the time we
were there which included a coffee by a ($3 each for of coffee & $1.80 for one medallion sized
biscuit) ing the main s t I did not see a single person of mediterranean appear , or a filipino or
any other asian, or arabic or indian or african & of course none of aboriginal looks. (10/10/02. Johnny
Mullaghs descend are not in evid ). I  it must be the anglo saxon (& irish) l& of victoria.
(4/10/02. Come to  of it we saw no specimens of any of those groups on the entire trip.) This
morning ted out with the mighty chorus of (which H does notas she is asleep then) Ive
come to expect in this coun . They t up in what feels like the middle of the night & I  to them for
an interminable . Just before the first dawn glow they stopped as is their habit & at first the
kookaburras gave a single peal of staccato laughter. Then over a period various small  (including
wattle  with their rasping call & the shrill repetitive whistling of a tree creeper) joined till by 6.30
the scrub was ringing with ♪♫. (also last night I heard ). By then too some of the had
resumed a quieter repertoire. I lay in the cot for ages looking out the window waiting for the to
become good enough for me to reach for my & & resume reading the essays of Montaigne as
Ive done each morning. (5/10/02. I read the one on anci customs such as the roman practice of
wiping their dicks after a leak with a wad of perfumed wool & their arses with a sponge (hence
‘spongia’ was a word of abuse in rome (29/11/08. wr  thr rgan naprl nxt y)) attached to a stick. He
mentions the case of the man sent ed to be torn apart in the colosseum by wild beasts who asked
to relieve himself before & took the opportunity to commit sui by shoving the sponge on its stick
down his throat.) This morning in bright I saw a fluttering about high in the sky. There were
beetles zooming about. Tomorrow we will be back in Melbourne. In our first experi of the new
together we agree it came up to every expectation. Now that its in more Ive been getting close to
10 ks/litre ie. approx. 600ks/tankful. As H resumes her responsi ities (to kids, mother, school) we will
become more separate. Their successful discharge determines (I know from 40 years of observation)
her self esteem. I return to the spoilt life of the inner city. Over a week or 2 well put out these ♪♫ & Ill
send them off & distribute others personally (29/11/08. nowdaz  e t). Then a restlessness will
reassert itself & Ill  off on another trip.
helenZ & a … z @ …
14/11 /02 (11/11/02 – 20/11/02 (no 33)). 2.30. Im at Bennies Camping Area & its
16ks back from where I spent the night by the bridge. Im drinking a Brown Brothers Everton 2000
Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon, Malbec 13.5% Vol. straight from the bottle. It is described on the back
label as: “This approachable medium bodied red blend of Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon and
Malbec has soft berry and oak flavours and a crisp dry finish. It can be enjoyed now but
will cellar 2-4 years from vintage if stored correctly. Serve at 16°-18° C. ideally with
36
roasted and barbecued red meats.” All true too. Here is how it happened. I got going at 7.15
back up the steep section and got to Lake Cobbler at 8.30. The day was still, sky blue, and the lake
green-verged just as you would imagine an al lake to be. There is a newly built toilet (which I used)
& a hut with a  & place in it for emerge y. There are two toyota land cruisers of the ‘troop
carrier’ type parked near the hut. No doubt they are part of a car shuffle waiting to be used by
returning overnight . The bottle of red was in the hut ¾ full but corked. I didnt touch it coz wine
thats been opened goes off. The sign to the summit says 1.75 hours one way. Because I was
daydreaming I took the wrong fork (after about 15 mins) & by the it became so indistinct that I was
having trouble following it & pulled out the compass I had no idea where I was. I was lucky to find the
track again otherwise I would have been a goner I reckon. Unlike most types I am least experi d
in al coun & have no confid in it. When I got back to the fork having wasted ½ hour I ♪iced the
red triangle marker in a indiing the other track. It took me another 1½ hours (through stringy-
bark, then increasingly contorted snow gum) to get to the top. The actual summit which has a trig
point on it, is a separate knoll of rock which requires you to climb down & go up again just when you
mightnt feel like it but its worth the effort. To my astonishment I could see a summit to the south west
with buildings on it. Through the binoculars you can see multi-storied flats. I guessed that it had to be
Mt Buller & I had the exact same surprise two years ago (27/11/00 – 7/12/00) when I saw it from
the top of Mt Howitt also at this of year. I wont de the views (on a perfect viewing day) as I deed
similar coun on the other trip but it did occur to me that Pete Šurna might be out there somewhere
as he told me day last week that he was about to do a walk part of which was along the Alpine
Trail. In that case he might be visiting places like Mt Despair, Mt Speculation, Horri Gap, Mt Buggery
(1608) (dont there) & The Terri Hollow. Good luck to you, mate. Ill send him a copy of these ♪♫.
On the way back I got to  about the bottle of Brown Brothers red in the hut. I thought I should give it
a try just in case it had been left only this morning as the two 4x4 troop carriers could have arrived
unbeknown to me from the opposite direction up a very tough track called The Stairway. Also there
was a possi ity that it had been left by the Geelong Grammar people only the day before yesterday.
The grader driver had said a set of 4x4s had been up there & back & when I asked if they had ads for
Tooheys New on the side he confirmed that it was them. They had proba y ferried the kids to their 
ting point for a walk back to Timbertop & theyd be just the types to be drinking wine & stuff. So when I
got back to the lake I gave it a taste & it was A1. I didnt have a  but there was an empty Admiral
Berry Combo in Syrup tin there that had been cleaned out for the purpose. It was for  & I had
brought a tin of John West Herring Fillets in tomato sauce & I can assure you that this wine goes just
as well with tinned as with barbequed red meats. & then, as I was gulping a mouthful I heard the
in the lake – and guess what, they were pobblebonks (Limnodynastes dumerilii) otherwise
known as banjo . I realized that I was experi ing a special moment where a number of things
come together & I was looking forward to stretching it out with the bottle of wine when I d the noise
of a engine. I corked the ½ full bottle & hid it in my day pack as two elderly geezers in a 4x4
Subaru drove up &  next to the hut. I talked them into giving me a lift back to me as they werent
planning to stay long & then a guy in a jeep arrived & I also talked him into giving me a lift, whoever
was going back first, which ed out to be him. He was from Selby in the Dandenongs & he had a
poncy . He did something that I thought was odd. He asked me not to rest my day pack, which
was in my lap, against the glove box so as not to sc ch it. He said the dust on it could sc ch & he
was about to sell the . Well! Maybe he was just upset ing that I had roa him. H says I can
come across as a bit aggressive at when I dont mean to. Fact is I had a lift organized anyway & I
didnt need either one as I wouldnt have min walking back other than that it was unnecessary & a bit
boring. & so here I am by myself in this beautiful spot on spongy green grass (you wouldnt guess
Victoria is in drought (29/11/08. hznt fnsht yet)) by a mountain s m in dappled through tall
which are full of ♪♫ put on by (mostly) golden whistlers (Pachycephala inornata) & yellow d 
eaters (Lichenostomus chrysops).
(28/11/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 3 (nos 27 – 33 of anthology))

27/2 /03 (February 24 (no 34)). The story he told was not xactly linear. He had thrown
a potplant over the balcony from the 4th floor of the apartment he was living in with Gregor (I had
thought he had been put up by the ag y or was living with somebody called Moussa from the ivory
coast) & shouted that there was a in the building. There were issues of sexual tension involved.
37
Hed lived with Gregor who works 4 the ag y the entire time hes been in Paris. He feels Gregor is a
sinister person. Gregor, who had  an interior designer friend of his who was even more sinister, had
ed them inside the unit 2 prevent Dan leaving. Gregor went bserk & they were both shouting from
the balcony 2gether, Dan about the , & him that Dan was going 2 jump. Dan had seen the interior
designers car cruising below & the potplant had just missed it. The car left. The apartment is under
surveill (a common theme that can lead 2 efforts of demolition 2 loe the devices) 2 assess
the potential of models 4 ad & film parts. It was the brigade who took him 2 hospital (l’Hopital
Maison Blanche) (2day he tells me he has been in hospital twice) whom he told that he was a sky
marshall from australia, much 2 their amusement. He also had claimed (perhaps in another incident)
that he was the king of germany, & again, the king of lithuania (more modest than claims 2 b jesus
christ) (or Oedipus?). Everyone had a laugh about that. He says he has sent a  2 litho house in
Melbourne (just desserts seeing I have been a  artist) about us parents which should b there by the
weekend. I said Id include it in the journal if I get hold of it. He says he went 2 Paris 2 make it as a
model but in the entire stay only got 1 decent job. He does not appear 2 have learnt a word of french
having spent the days reading newspapers in english, including the Melbourne Age, on the . The
xtremely unin4mative & rare e we received were there4 not due 2 lack of opportunity. He came
back @ 10 this morning & has sorted out his clothes & is getting his room shape. Ive scored a
couple of great shirts including an ornate african one that must have belonged 2 Moussa. Incidentally
Gregor is a racist & Moussa (who has french citizen & c get back 2 the ivory coast coz of the
turmoil there & coz he belongs 2 the upper caste that are bing 4ced out) means a r. By this evening
he will have gone virtually 24 hours without sleep & my immediate concern is that he get some. He
says he doesnt mind me  this a nt since if I get it wrong people can check with him. When I had
been hyped up in like manner I lost the capacity 2 know if I nee 2  or sleep. Finally I blew my
fuses & everything came crashing down. I was inva by sounds & voices that were so overwhelming
that they had me f ally  Prof Ball (I had his name from a shrink friend of mine) @ the Royal Park
clinic (where the athletes village 4 the commonwealth games is 2 b bilt) pleading that I was going
insane. I still dont know if it was the effect of the mediion or of the shorting of the fuses that put me
in2 a dpression, the depths of which I could not have imagined, which took years (under optimal st
s, with the best doctors & the best wife, & without financial problems) 2 climb out of. In these
situations 1 in 8 commit sui. I can h Dan ing The Lord of The Rings DVD & Im about 2 ask H if
she can type this on the other computer. I am putting off my travel plans by a week till monday so as
2 b able 2 spend the weekend with H @ Miller st. My reward 4 having been delayed is that Im here
as the 4mosa lillies t blooming in the front yard @ the Ivanhoe house. Im putting in copies of ♪♫
Dan got from a couple of friends he made in the hospital. My situation is that Im being made 2 my
beautiful (& well in ioned, & without an ounce of malice btween the lot of them) children being
dstroyed (or mayb not 4 I have never nvied anyone & wouldnt b as I am without having survived
(4med by?) similar xperi es) & I am registering a protest.
*
Spent the day , editing, pasting. Dan is mercifully showing signs of slowing down. Hes gone with H
2 visit Vi & then theyve ar d 2 meet Kate over a coffee. H is ensuring that he is eating properly.
When she  Kate @ tea it was the 1st Kate knew. We hadnt wanted 2 upset her with drama
surmises as she is about 2 do her final teaching round & is nc d 2 overreact @ the best of . Ive
got some way in2 In Job’s Balances. The njoyment I get from Shestovs  doesnt b d me 2
how confusion about the way language works makes most of his polemic meaningless.  mum 2
say Dan had made it.
13/3 /03 (March 11 (no 35) (30/11/08. *….* ← Port Germein (no 58))). *Im
surrounded by noisy seagulls. Theyre very aggressive so I have 2 watch the food in the car. Just
noticed that my legs from the knees down r covered by tiny midges (u would have freaked out honey)
& they r right in2 it biting away. Their bite is as bad as the mozzies were dishing out 2 me earlier in
the morning. I think Ive brought them all back with me when I drove 2 the way shed 4 breakfast.
They must have surged in2 the van when I opened the sliding door 2 get out. Last night I ted out 
btween the shed & the jetty in case I felt like a midnight stroll but a group of young guys who were
mooing & braying @ the top of their voices settled in under the in the shed. They were probably
drugged & I didnt want 2 have 2 parry them in the middle of the night. The last time I  here I woz
38
solicited (31/5/05. but orl sh mai hav 1td woz 2 ask 4 sgrets or evn nvite me 2 join em (1/6/05. Amazing
how the male mind works. Its because it’s directly connected to the balls – Helh&z) ) by a shy (1/6/05.
Wonder how a brazen one would have made her approach) young koorie girl (whose ♂ companions
were drinking in the shed) in the hours b4 dawn. So I went 2 my usual spot after all but bcoz of the ♂
groves nby its bad 4 mozzies anytime let alone now the worst time of the year 4 bugs as any
dinkum aussie among my readers knows. Dont know if Ive ever mentioned that the s ts here r
numbered (as in many other towns in SA) american style, up 2 7 I think. Saw 2 budgies nearby
(Melopsittacus undulatis). Am going 2 the toilet 4 a shave as I want 2 keep my upper lip smooth 4
the goggles. Then will shop up in Port Augusta (60 ks away) b4 ing south down the other side of the
Gulf of St Vincent 2wards Tumby Bay. Its 9.40 am ….* 4.00. Im in a small picnic area the south side
of the  (yes, they have 1 here too) dvelopment next 2 a lookout with a view back over the main
part of Tumby Bay. There is a toilet & water & a ter (in which I am  these ♪♫) & no . Ive done
about 360 ks looking out 4 australia protecting our way of life from a possible terrorist threat. ½ way
along I burst in2 song, a good sign (my therapeutic advice 4 any1 bothered by anxieties of the b
storming variety is 2 drive in a straight 4 a few days, the Eyre highway across the Nullabor is a
suitable strip) but dont b fooled I woz alert but not alarmed the whole time. I woz watchin 4 paint cans
with wires stickin out, cars with diffrent number plates front & back, guys wearin rubber gloves &
anythin else what looked suspicious. & I spotted stuff: 2 cars abnormally low on their suspension & a
lot of suss looking characters. In fact Ive noted b4 that this area of the country has an unusually high
number of cars riding low & they r being driven by dubious, shifty eyed, bearded long haired types
who would have had no trouble getting bit parts in Deliverance (remember the movie? read the ?)
but Im not ing the hot or John HoWARd or Major General Duncan Lewis DSC, CSC or Dennis
Richardson (director general of ASIO) or Mick Keelty (what a shifty looking mug) APM of the federal
police or any of em 4 the reasons Ive already mentioned. Bsides from the way a couple of people
looked @ me in Port Augusta (a town I dont hang around as its the place whose lord mayor said that
children of the ed up refugees were abhorr & should not b allowed 2 attend the local schools
(22/3/03. While I woz away ½ doz refugee kids have ted there)) u would have thought that I woz
the 1 looking suspicious (& I feel out of place here dspite that “Australians are friendly, decent,
democratic people, and we’re going to stay that way.” – p10 of Lets look out for Australia)
& come 2  of it my van is a bit low 2 the ground. But I had 2 shop up & in particular I wanted 2 get
some ventricina salami which is dlicious & the Coles supermarket there is the only place I find it in. I
paid $5.97/kg for tomatoes but that woz cheaper than the trussed variety which were going 4 $9.97. I
got some red onions @ $4.98/kg imported all the way from the USofA (if HoWARd is sucking up 4 a
free trade agreement he might get a rude awakening coz it might work the other way: the yanks dont
have a big track record of  agreem that favour the other party (22/3/03. Like conventions on
global warming, setting up international courts to try war crims and such which arent useful to them –
helenz )) which if H had been with me she would have stopped me getting bcoz theyr from america (it
woz the yanks but that saved me life in a DP camp somewhere in germany soon after the war when I
had an infected bone behind me& they knocked the bug out with sulpha drugs which they had
brought with them (& were the only ones in possession of) which when it was first in use woz a very
powerful ibio. 2 let the pus (a ful a day my mum says) out my-drum woz pierced & I still have
a memory (or is it a false 1?) of a doctor & nurses heating a needle over a bunsen burner 4 the job. If
it is a true 1 (& Im amazed I woz allowed 2 see the procedure) it a nts 4 my intense dislike of
needles used 4 injections etc) & she reckons its unpa o for an aussie 2 buy imported particularly
from the land of the  & stripes. (22/3/03. I don’t give a stuff about being patriotic its just that you’d
think we could manage to grow our own bloody onions. Its not exactly difficult – helenz). But they were
the only 1s available so I got m …. 7.25. Had a beer & watched the news in a pub on the 4shore.
Talked 2 a guy in a wet suit (20/3/03. The only person I saw in the water ring the trip apart from me)
who told me where I might see some large . There isnt the same culture of spending time in the
water as on the east coast as there r more here & he said he woz the only 1 about who went
spear ing. This is a very pretty place but I wont attempt 2 d it as people from the east coast are
incapable of visualizing the Eyre peninsula. After I  H & drink me stubby Ill go 2 the spot where I
woz  earlier 4 the night.
17/4 /03 (12/4/03 – 24/4/03 (cursive by helenZ & block by a … z…) (no 36)). I
am quoting from p4 of my 13/8/01 – 25/8/01: ““Agamben quoting from the second
39
chapter of the talmudic treatise Hagigah (literally “Offering”) which considers those
matters it is permitted to study & those that must not in any case become objects of
investigation. The Mishnah with which the chapter opens reads as follows: “Forbidden
relationships must not be explained in the presence of two (people); the Chariot
(merkebah, the chariot of Ezekiel’s vision which is the symbol of mystical knowledge)
must not be explained in the presence of one, unless he is a sage who already knows it
on his own. It is better never to be born than to be someone who investigates into the
four things. The four things are: what is above; what is below; what is first; what is after
(that is, the object of mystical knowledge, but also metaphysical knowledge, which
claims to the study of the supernatural origin of things.)””. 13/8/01 – 25/8/01 contains a
lengthy dscussion of aspects of the above mishnah but it is only in the last
weeks that I have gained suffici clarity that I am able to lay it aside. This is how
I have xed 2 myself why it is pointless 2 ask questions such as what is the
meaning of life (all this) or of the universe (or purpose of) or of the world or of it
all. Occasionally I come across erudite @empts @ answers but I agree with the
mishnah that it is advisable not 2 @empt the task. When we give meaning 2
something we place it in2 a context. We say what is on either side of, or above &
below, or b4 & after, or all around, or in which order it is. It is so in all cases
whether we r xing a 4mula, or why we mbarked on a course of action, or the
meaning of a word etc etc. 1 way we can b viewed is as the creatures that assign
meaning (the  giving itself meaning) – it is our special talent, & language is the
tool with which we do it. Whatever we place in a context is subsidiary 2 us & 2
the larger context of which we ourselves r part. 2 ask what is the context of the
context is nonsensical & assumes that language can ope e with the same rules
outside the context which 4med it. 2 even use the word ‘outside’ is 2 already
mply the possibility. It is 2 bhave as if we can st& apart from the xperi es &
dcisions that have structured us (a quality religious people @ribute 2 god). Sci
ists make the same point when they say we cannot know what came b4 the big
bang bcoz both the laws of nature & we ourselves (the knowing) r its consequ
es. It is not surprising that the mishnah should gain ndorsement from sci in
this nst since the way language works (the way we function in language) is an
xtension of the workings of the parts of which we r made. Today was a long drive from
the reserve to the small town of Mitta Mitta, along the Alpine Highway to Omeo and then through a
thoroughly burnt section of the Alpine National Park where we took some photos. We passed Cobungra
station, which is the largest property in Victoria, grazing mainly hereford cattle and some sheep. They are
selling 50 bulls on the 23rd of May, so they’ve either had a good year (a surplus of bulls) or a bad year (too
many bulls to feed) depending on the way you look at it. There was a tinge of green on the paddocks along
the road, and the stock looked meaty enough. Stopped briefly at Omeo to get the paper, but it hadn’t
been delivered. Mitta Mitta is a very small town on the river of the same name, where the Laurel Hotel will
be showing the Collingwood – Brisbane game on TV at 8pm. Walked to the historic site of Victoria’s largest
open-cut gold mine where they used high pressure water jets to bring down the whole side of a largish hill,
ran it through sluices and extracted gold, amalgam (30/11/08. is that what they fill your teeth with?) and
zinc. The environmentalists would have died of apoplexy at the damage to the landscape. No fire tonight,
as we’ll be sleeping in the heart of town in a little reserve next to the pub, right on the river. Thanks to our
gleaning expeditions, we are overdosing on walnuts, chomping them at breakfast and then as we drive, as
they are so easy to open.
24/4 /03. The last day of our adventure (we are back in Melbourne tomorrow) was a terrific
one – perfect autumn weather and a rich harvest of walnuts. We found the phantom trees not at
Harrietville as we both remembered, but at a little town not far from it called Smoko. The trees provided
abundantly and we spent a happy couple of hours on our haunches cleaning the place out. We refreshed
ourselves at Bright with coffee and the paper, but the urge was still there and we couldn’t resist it as we
passed the tree near the Myrtleford – Bright bike path, so we cleaned that up as well. By then we had 2
large plastic boxes (ones the poultry companies use to deliver to supermarkets), one of hand crackable
and the other of nut-cracker crackable, and we were very pleased with ourselves. A bit out of Myrtleford on
40
the road to Whourouly we saw a whole row of trees hanging over a fence and I gave in to sheer greed. We
filled up another 2 large supermarket bags of the hand crackable variety and one tree in particular had
very large fruits. It was a great day rounded off by an extremely pretty drive along back roads to the
Whitfield pub where we are concluding this piece. The richness of the country is amazing when, even in
the 7th year of a drought, you can harvest almost unlimited walnuts, chestnuts (we didn’t even start on
them) and apples (in Wandiligong there were 3 or 4 trees full of fruit that no-one was picking but we
couldn’t have fitted any into the van) just along the roadsides (some wood ducks were getting stuck into
them) even in areas where traffic is virtually constant. Our hands and nails are stained a nice shade of
Ive put mphasis on  bout language out of
brown which gives us a touch of rural authenticity.
perversity & a dsnclnation 2 p&er 2 xpectations. Last night I woz free of  which
ndies that Ive succeeded in saying what I wanted 2. I hope @ least 1 of my
readers bnefits from the commn as Id like 2 b sharing something & I njoy a bit
of company after all. (Most of the n were  with me undone as the zip of
my very xpensive Mountain Design trousers has busted.)
a … z & helenz
5/6/03 (3/6/03 – 12/6/03 (no 37)). Alec Drummond reckons Warren Burt said he is
going 2 avoid per4min in places where people drink & smoke bcoz his music has a spiritual in ion. I
rspect Warrens views so I m surprised such linkages have bn @ributed 2 him. Prhaps Alec misheard
or msrported. I have listened 2 many dffring a nts by people of what they mean by the word
spiritual & will not rview them here but I cannot imagine how any of them say anything either +itive or
–@ive about smokin & drinkin. I must ask Warren next time I c him. His @itude mplies that people in
nstitutions 4 the mntally dsturbed (who cannot cope with our society) r lacking in spirituality as they r
almost all smokers. They love a puff & in many of these places cigarettes r the main item of xchange.
& they love a pot of beer 2 xept many r 2 shy 2 go in2 a pub & c a4d it anyway since their ntire
sickness bnefits r dducted 2 pay 4 their board. I saw a bag lady neatly ar ging a row of butts of diffrnt
lenths she woz picking out of a rubbish bin in Swanston st in2 a beautiful gold cigarette case that she
must also have found. I suppose by Warrens linkage she would be a prticularly unspiritual person. I
would b able 2 undrst& u, mate, if u didnt want 2 per4m in venues wher people smoke & drnk bcoz
the mood in such places ncourages ch@ing rather than ing & your ♪♫ is not dsigned 2 break in2
convrsations. Or if u said it rquires a long @ention span (which I know it does) & people r not geared
4 it in bars. I bring 2 your consid ion the fact that smoke, ntoxic of various kinds, & drugs have
bn prt of religious practice since iquity. Pipes have bn passed around, arom@ herbs in
confined spaces, inc nhaled, candles lit, consumd. If 2 lead a spiritual life means 2 do the
things which r pleasing 2 the gods how have u bcome privvie 2 their prfr es? I know u r a humble
person with no prtence 2 b sharing a table with the mighty but prhaps in a capacity of doorman or
caterer u have overheard sn@ches of their convrsations? I want 2 know bcoz I dont ndrst&. What I
can say clearly & with certainty is th@ smoking damages lungs & xessive lcohol the liver & b. If we
wor the deities of ndus , commerce & productivity then it is mportnt 2 b e ient, healthy, have a
long working life & rtain a clear  so as not 2 make mstakes in nting out $$. Or prhaps we wor
the body btiful, smooth complxion, silky hair & nrge per4m . Smokin & drinkin r bad 4 all of
these so if thn we r 2 lead a spiritual life, 1 which pleases the gods, we must xclude those habits.
Persnlly I have no knowldge of their prfr es either in ♪♫ or othrwise (though I suspect ♪♫ pleases
thm) (but is it the kind of ♪♫ u play @ feasts, or as u march 2 war, or as u bury the , or th@ u make
in churches, or 2 jmp up & down 2, or th@ u play on sporting occasions or on saturday nights in
pubs? & I do not xclude the possibility they r tone deaf) but make the observation th@ jesus of
nazareth woz rputed 2 b capable of turning water in2 wine & th@ wine woz consumed @ the last 
& he said it woz as good as his blood. More can b said clearly about what it is we do when we make
claim 2 knowldge about what is or isnt spiritual as a number of ♪♫ians that I know r nc d 2 do. By
making it we ncrease our mport dmnishing th@ of others by comparison. 4 what could b more
nnobling than if it woz god himself (or 1 of them) who woz speaking 2 an audi through our ♪♫. Not
many r chosen 2 b such nstrm . The question is what comes 1st. Is the language of spirituality (the
usage of) dsigned 2 dsguise a power trip? The role of high priest (always nvolves a mxture of gr&iose
& humble gestures; the pope spnds a lot of time on high pl@4ms rms spread out in blessing but also
kisses tarmacs) is easily assumed by ♪♫ians bcoz of their relation 2 an audi . It is a tmptation
which should b rsisted unless u can also do miracles bcoz great xpectations can b aroused. They r
41
legitimate xpectations which can lead 2 dsppointm if let down. If I were a ♪♫ian I would not want 2
make the claim my ♪♫ woz an xpression of the spiritual or had a spiritual in or rquired a space
suitable 4 the spirit. My rquirem might b sil , an audi prpared 4 the kind of ♪♫ I play, good
quipment, good accous … 6.05. Hay N.S.W. I  this mornings n in an @ractive reserve on
the Broken River about 10ks east of Shepparton which I probably would have trouble finding again. It
woz flowing well along a s&y shore. The were river red gums (e. camaldulensis). Then drove
northwest avoiding Shepparton 2 Barmah where I had a brgr & read the Age in the pub & on 2
here. The idea woz 2 get north of the bad weather. Ive just bought a stubby of beer & 1 of Sheaf stout
& am  4 the night on the edge of a drop overlooking the Murrumbidgee. Heard on the news the
lousy weather will continue 4 days down south & I hope the roller door doesnt blow down again @
Miller st or a drop @ Ivanhoe. Possessions bring worries (but not as many as not having em). Ive
just opened the Tooheys New & continue my comm on m@ers spiritual. On sunday evening I
filled in 1½ hours playing a pokie @ the Crown casino. Th@s how long it took 2 use up the $5 I woz
prpared 2 lose. I woz playing a sngle on a 10c machine & woz up 30 bucks 4 awhile. Observing
the people woz more njoyable than pressing the button as I havnt bn in ther 4 a year or more.
Aftrwrds it occurred 2 me Im a kind of nter-hare-krishna or i-krish since I favour meat in my t,
drink lcohol 2 xess, gamble & am ndulged in sx – the 4 sins according 2 thm. Earlier in the day I had
eaten  @ litho house in Errol st. wher Nijole Kairaitis showed me an rticle about her brother
Marijonas Vilkelis from the Weekend Australian Magazine (March 8-9). The rticle ncludes his
spshl recipe 4 ‘kugelis’ which is regularly on the menu @ litho house xept he doesnt nclude fried
chopped up (which I reckon is ssential) as he is a vegan. There is a colour foto of him looking
remarkably like a Michlangelo frsco or William Blake etching of god. He has a web site (www.heaven-on-
earth-project.com) which contains his recipes, phlosophies & stories which he says sound like mumbo-
jumbo but make prfct snse 2 him. He does long fasts. On the 35th day of the 1st he had visions which
he says have left him with a prfound nsight in2 the nature of life & . He set up a vgtarian restaur
where customers paid by donation in2 a bucket from which they could take change. I had heard of
him b4 as he has legendry st@us in the Lismore & Byron Bay area wher he has also had vgtarian
restaur . I admire xentrics like him & the hare krishnas bcoz they show by practcl xample there r
altern@e ways of xisting in society. But not of the ways they xpress their ideas. Still doing it is what
nts wheras my 4te is the . It turns out that Nijole knows another xentric of litho background. This
is the person that Raymond Gaita mentions in his outst&ing Romulus My Father who lived in
a ter btween 2 g ite rocks & pickled vgtbls in his own urine. Gaita also talks about his gentleness
& affinity 4 animals in his latest curr ly on the shelves The Philosopher’s Dog. He has vsited him
in the nstution in Balla where he now lives. Nijole who visits him every 6 months or so with a group
of phlanthropic ♀♀ connected 2 litho house says when he cs them the 1st thing he says, dspensing
with greetings or any signs of appreciating their fforts is “Have you brought the cigarettes?” But the
last time they hadnt she says bcoz the hospitl asked them not 2. Appar ly they r not good 4 his
health. I ask u – here is an old man who hasnt even got the dough 2 buy himself a fag & whn some
good ed ♀♀ want 2 give him some 4 nothing the hospitl prvents thm – can u blieve it Raymond!?
Can u do somethin bout it? Mayb pull k as a phlosphr or ethcist & go & x a few things 2 them.
12/6 /03. → Balranald (where the girl @ the  knew absolutely nothing – hadnt heard of
the Great Cumbungi Swamp) → Moulamein → Barham (ptrol; brdge over the Murray) → Cohuna (
brgr & Age) → Mitiamo (2 stubbies; when I came through here on a  4 yrs ago on the day the
paper had published an rtcle from the bureau of stats saying it woz the poorest town in Victoria the
publican whose tax woz being looked after by an a nt in South Melbourne chuckld & said it could
mean it woz the smartest) → Terick Terick National Park (4ks north of Mitiamo whch is 60ks north of
Bendigo). This is the final n 4 the I put out. Last night I again had 2 wrggle out of me sleeping
bag & go in2 the cold pre-dawn night with spade & paper but 2morrow night Ill @ the Bocadillo Bar
@ the seat staring vac ly in2 the s t while sharing a  of sardines with H washed down by a
sangria poured by Victoria (right 2 the brim) & brought by Peter. I hope I managed 2 x myself. I
keep saying the same thngs s ly dffr ly. 2 finish off I propose 2 others who like me r prhaps rtired &
with nothing better 2 do than build edifices out of words th@ they measure their labo constructions
against the following propositions which r 2 b taken as true: THE WHOLE IS GREATER THAN THE
SUM OF THE PARTS & a consqu of it is th@ WE CANNOT KNOW WHO WE ARE.

42
 3/7/03 (June 28/29 (no 38)). Brachina Gorge is quite magnificent, about 5ks of multi-
coloured walls of strata pitched at various angles from horizontal to 70° with a river bed between where
the red gums stand out with their silvery grey trunks and complicated roots and branches. Acacias and
callitris pine cling on to the rock faces, greeny grey against the red, ochre, white and cream layers. The
striations are different layers of sediment laid down in a seabed between 100 million and 60 million years
ago so the comprehensive signage provided by the park authority informs those with a geological bent. It
is visually breathtaking. Out of the gorge into the flat lands to Leigh Creek, a company town with good
amenities where we did the coffee and paper thing and checked our mobiles (via land line telephone as we
don’t have the remote area technology for direct checking). No messages for either of us. Past Copley
(where there is a bakery, The Quandong, which rivals Wirrabara in the pie stakes – we ate great sausage
rolls there on a previous trip, and judging by the cars and a tourist bus parked out front, its reputation is
firm and rising) towards Italowie Gorge along a really badly corrugated road, through some extremely
bleak but startling country composed of dark brown slatey rock where the vegetation was almost
exclusively spindly acacia. Past Nepabunna, aboriginal township and the centre of local tribal land, to
Italowie Gap where we’ve camped for the night. It’s more like the Flinders, though we are now in the
Gammon Ranges, but is rockier underfoot. The place we’ve chosen is tucked under the side of the hill on
which the road is located, and despite the remoteness we’ve heard at least a dozen cars since we arrived
about 3.30 pm, and on a short walk along an adjacent creek bed (completely stony, with rocks of all sizes)
we heard and then saw a bright yellow and black striped helicopter, like a giant wasp, which probably
belongs to the parks administration. (12/7/03. Found out later when we dropped into the Pound on the way
home that there is an operation called Bounceback on in the park to eradicate feral animals such as foxes,
goats and cats, so the helicopter is no doubt used to spot them). Also on the way here we saw a group of
½ dozen horses, one of which was coal black with white legs, and a donkey. John says mules are feral here
but are very cryptic. A flock of emus, some kangaroos and plenty of corellas make up the rest of the days
H said wer bushies but really wer latte bushies. Still this is an
wildlife sightings.
nregulated spot & more 2 our taste. Wer here by ourselvs. Ther is a spring nearby
4 those in the know. A few more serious commnts about the southrn park wev
spnt the last couple of days in. 4 the $10.50/nght fee u get trrfic facilties. I dont
pay coz I m trying 2 keep my 40 yr record of nevr havng paid park fees ntact
othrwise I would not bgrudge it 4 a momnt. Its a pittnce as u spnd more on ptrol
travllng 100ks & in the park u can stop in 1 spot 4 a week & do great walks evry
day. The changes whch r comng thck & fast r no doubt all necessry. Since I woz
ther just a year ago the main campng area @ Wilpena Pound has bn rdsignd & all
campsites r dlineatd & numbrd as they r in the minor campsites thrghout the
park. Chainsaws r bannd & u r not allowd 2 collect wood or evn kndlng @ any
dsignatd campsite. The only way u can hav a fire in the outlying sites such as
Aroona Ruins & Koolamon is 2 buy wood @ Wilpena or Rawnsley Park station 30-
40 ks away & carry it with u. Hardly any1 is going 2 do it so ther r almost no fires
being lit & if they r lit they hav 2 b in the formal fireplaces provi in each
campsite. Ther r on the spot fines 4 rule breakers. Its a good thng as more &
more travllrs carry chain saws & drive about in 4x4s & in the past groups used 2
make huge bonfires 2 sit about in foldout chairs late in2 the nght. Also people
used 2 keep driving about off the tracks & cuttng up the countryside whch is very
easy 2 do ther bcoz of the sparse vgetation. We cut up the ground substantially
wher we wer bogged just in our 2 wheel drive van. The xtr rglations means
evrythng is spick & span & I ddnt evn c a bit of papr or a can by the roadside. I m
sure most readers of my notes would b happier in these condtions than wher we r
now. I must say thgh its beautfully ful here now the evnng hush has dcen. The
only sound is made by the breeze in the mulgas on top of the ridges. Its like the
sound of a very dstnt surf. A cause 4 concern in the sthrn park especially in the
Aroona valley is the state of the rivr red gums some of whch appear , some
almost, & most of the rest r xtrmly stressd. I hav never cn thm in as bad a
cndition in the 40 yrs Iv bn going 2 the park. It must mean the watr table has
43
droppd below the reach of their roots. If major  th@ rplensh the subsoil dont
come this year ther is a possbilty of an eclogical dsaster. They ddnt look in as
much strife during the so called 7 yr drought 30-40 yrs ago. Th@ drought woz
broken by huge  & the ntire centr woz wettr 4 3 out of 4 years than
Melbourne. Evn if norml  rturn they may not b enough 2 save the gums. We
need a deluge here of the kind th@ makes the desrt poplars germnate again whch
I havnt cn since those times. Consdring how dry it is in the ntire its a
srprise the spring here still has some watr in it . Good thng most toursts dont
know about it. Time 4 a (ovaltine 4 H) – no booze 2nght (as if we booze up every
nght H says).
10/7 /03. Danyo Reserve → Walpeup → Hopetoun (paper/coffee at a new coffee/fast food
place which is doing well as a drop-in place for locals) → Beulah, then due east to Birchip, Wycheproof
(17/7/03. But its all off, or
(rang Dan to let him know we’ll be landing tomorrow. He’s got a ticket
poned, & many xtra 000s of $$$ hav bn totted up against his name as xpnss 2 b
dductd from future incom (more prcisely 2 b +ed 2 his debt as hes nevr had an
ncom)) to the U.S. for July 20th, accompanying Steven, his boss, and 2 others to a model management
convention in New York), Boort where we caught up with grey clouds, Mitiamo and finally Terrick Terrick
National Park among the callitris pines, where we had tea washed down with 2 stubbies (him) and a lemon
drink (her) from the Mitiamo pub. The towns up here are trying really hard – Beulah has its murals and
calls itself “The Capital of the Barley Belt”, Birchip has a bike path (rapidly being overgrown) heading
towards Wycheproof, Boort calls itself “The Oasis of the North” because its surrounded by and on (now
bone dry) lakes. Even tiny towns like Mitiamo have a golf course of sorts. Town beautification projects are
in evidence – at Hopetoun there was a brand new public toilet block attached to the main civic building,
and in Boort there were 2 blokes making a fancy brick paving along the footpath in one of the main
streets, where some of the shops were empty and their fronts covered in newspaper. In most towns, at
least ¼ of the shopfronts are empty, boarded over, or given up to craft displays from community groups
like the C.W.A. At Mitiamo a Vline bus doing the Swan Hill – Bendigo- Mildura round pulled up and an
elderly woman got off laden with shopping bags from Bi-Lo, Coles and Woolies. The transport revolution
has been the blessing and the curse of the bush, with little towns being sucked dry by the big regional
centres and holding on by the skin of their teeth. We had a terrific fire last night and we’ll have another
Mourning has bcome
tonight – the final for the trip, as we hit Melbourne tomorrow.
unfashionable. The buzz word is closure. We want 2 terminate the . However if
we retain them in memory they continue on in us. 4 memories r traced in the
body, in flesh & blood. If it werent so wher do u think they would ? Memory is 1
of those words whch dsguises the mysterious so th@ by putting a label on what
we dont ndrst& we can lay it aside like a of furniture with the other labelled
items. I retain the memory of an xmplary man so he can continue 2 live. But
everything passes (29/12/08. ths xmas  ddnt  or giv prz ). Gestures bcome
hollow. Ceremonies meaningless. Bodies decay.

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

-----------------------------------------------
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
21/8 /03 (August 18 (no 39) (30/11/08. *….* ← Port Germein (no 58))). * Slept
well. The sound of showers on the roof & the buffeting of the van by the wind contributed. This
morning the ☼ is out but the wind is cold. The tide is 3/4s in. The  says farmers & graziers r keenly
icipating the next b& of  which the bureau says should drop about an inch (& up 2 60 mls in the
) of  in northern parts some of which (as me & H ♪d on our last trip c June 28/29 p9
-10) need it badly. Drove 2 the toilet b in the town 2 wash me &  & brush me teeth. A sign has
been put up in the foreshore car park across the road saying NO OVERNIGHT ING DAY USE
ONLY ( GROUND 200 M → ). Modernity is catching up with Port Germein. I return 2 the minor
44
doings of insignificant people in the inner suburbs of Melbourne & the information I provide is of no
use even 2 enthusiasts of trivial pursuit. The reason Frank L was so excited about the Benjamin
Fondane interviews with Shestov & wanted me 2 read them was because Fondane had made
import contributions in many areas of explo ory art but especially in avant-garde film & poe &
had been of heroic stature 4 Frank & his circle in their youth whereas Lev Shestov was an  I had
recently been infatuated with (Frank had given me a present of a Shestov hed found in a 2nd
shop). But I had never heard of Fondane & Frank hadnt known that Fondane had any connection
with Shestov. So here we r, me & Frank, pretty good mates, discover th@ 2 authors we have
independently admired were themselves good friends & more. 4 it turns out th@ Fondane was a
disciple, his only disciple, of the much older Shestov & had bcome a phlosopher of minor ♪ in order
2 please his master who 4 awhile was developing a reputation with some in europe (eg Malraux)
as the next mys following in the tradition set by Nietzsche & Dostoievski. I repeat my
observation th@ as a philosopher Shestov is incoherent (5/9/03. if u say the impossible is possible,
or wine can b blood, or  is eternal life u violate the way words have gained the meanings with which
we have negotiated (25/5/05. 4md) our  (in early christendom a bishop of Rome had 2 warn the
faithful against the fashion 4 martyrdom as it was getting out of as christians were queuing up 2 get
an early en into the next life; it may b sui ers r similarly confused) but should u agree 2 misuse
them only in specially designated (eg religious) restricted circumstances (subsets of usage;
mythos/logos distinction) then u take away the significance of accepting the contradictions bcoz it is
easy 2 use words meaninglessly. Some choose 2 abdie responsibility 4 comparing their
experiences with those of their neighbours in the quest 4 meaning by delegating the task 2 a priestly
caste or other groups who r only too willing 2 promote the misuses so as 2 encourage the transfer of
authority involved) & his best  is literary criticism. Th@ a person of such wide ranging talents as
Fondane already successful in a variety of eers including as a literary cri himself should choose
the hum role of disciple 2 an ageing Shestov has further enhanced Fondanes reputation in
Franks . I have a different reaction. Fondane was in attend @ Shestovs  but didnt reach
old age himself. When he was in Auschwitz he was given an opportunity 2 get out through the
intervention of his import  connections but was not prepared 2 take advantage of the offer unless
it inclu his sister who was also there. She was not allowed 2 leave so he remained with her 2 his .
If he had been a roman holic people would have prayed 2 him 4 intercession 2 cure their illnesses,
spontaneous remissions would have been reported as miracles (but I must say it is as obvious 2 me
th@ whereas those who believe in miracles will find evid of them even if they dont happen those
who disbelieve will never find evid of them though they happen b4 their very noses), submissions
would have been made 2 church bodies & the pope might have considered nominating him 4
canonization. Fondanes final choice has raised (31/5/05. bkoz ‘life’ iz not wot I vlue most) him far
above Shestov in my estimation & his disciple had made me wonder what it was about Lev
Shestov th@ I have overlooked. When I arrived @ Franks I had brought with me an invitation 2 the
opening of an exhibition of concrete/visual poe (July 31-August 3 @ the Gabriel Gallery @ the
sc Community Arts Centre) by a group called AXLE (25/5/05. dfunkt) I sometimes refer 2 in
my as ‘the poets’ or ‘the tuesday poets’. Here is a bit of info about them from part of a blurb
inside the brochure  by Peter Murphy: “AXLE began in 1994. On seeing the work of various
concrete/visual poets in the tribute which πo organized to celeb e the life and work of Jas. H.
Duke, Tony Figallo was keen that these and other such poets should meet on a regular basis to
see each others  and discuss matters of common interest. He sent out invitations which led to the
first get-together of AXLE members at Fruscolino Café in East Richmond. Since then we have been
meeting on the first Tuesday of the month. Over several years, AXLE, a ‘monthly news for
concrete, visual, action and sound poe ’ published a of  by members and other
concrete/visual poets, both local and inter-national. It also inclu articles and reflections on
concrete/visual poe , ♪♫ about discussions at meetings and details about  art exhibitions and
publiions.” I suggested th@ F k, who lives in sc , take a look @ the exhibition since there
were works there by people he knew & it was close by but he didnt even bother 2 gl inside the
invite & said hed lost interest in concrete/visual poe long ago. He showed me some work hed done
as a youth & it was good. I dont think AXLE has a contribution 2 make 2 him. Basically were a group
of old duffers. Our purpose is 2 provide each other with a bit of  & company (& it mightnt last as
Tony spat the dummy last meeting & reckons he might leave). F k had a bit of a comt about Tony
45
whom I didnt know he knew as Tony had used a foto as a cover of F k & friends doing a ‘sound poe
’ performance without bothering 2 mention who was in it while laying claim 2 the foto (Tony is in2
©). These r minor doings in small  but what interests me is how they r all connected because as
F k was talking about the foto I was holding the invite in my with the blurb inside (which he hadnt
seen) about the Jas H. Duke tribute 9 y ago @ which it was taken. But I only realized th@ a
couple of weeks later when I caught up with Kate 2 mark her birthday 4 a meal of kugelis @ litho
house (on 10/8/03) b4 ing off 2 the bar mitzvah of Maxs son Bruce (31/8/03. this is what I would
have said “now th@ youre 13 & have bcome an adult & old enough 2 pick & choose what 2 imitate
about your parents let me tell u that I have known your dad 4 a long time & though he works in a
place where there is a big tradition of whingeing I have never  him whinge even once. Also I have
never  your old man say a single bad word about any1. In fact Brian here told me just a little while
ago th@ a guy we all knew, Arthur Rushby, once said th@ if u tried 2 teach Max 2 b mean 2 some1
he wouldnt know how. I know there have been hard things in your dads life but in the work-place he is
always making people around him cheerier & jollying them along. U couldnt do yourself a bigger
favour when u t work now th@ youre grown up than imitate his example”). The kugelis was cooked
by Mykolas & Lelija Kozlovskis & it was terrific, just as tasty as Bronias last ☼day. Later I told Mykolas
it seemed 2 me though I dont understand yiddish th@ 1 of the songs I was listening 2 by the Vilna
choir of israel was about spuds & kugelis but I wasnt sure so I said Id bring the cassettes Alec had
given me the following ☼day (17/8/03) 4 him 2 have a  2. I had been trying 2 find out & had even
asked Theo Black when I met him in the vic market (3/8/03) 4 only the 2nd time in 30 years. As we
were shaking Theo didnt recognize me until I introced meself. I gave him my 2 previous &
told him th@ I had mentioned his former wife Rita (Gawenda (25/5/05. bruthr iz now th Washington
krspnd 4 th Age &  rports prktkli vri dai) → Rubens → Black) in a story I  @ the t of last year
titled The Hat (c p4). He said she  5 years ago from cancer. It was a shock. I mention it because a
couple of people (Bill Sinclair; Cathy Smith (formerly Ward)) who get my stuff were probably taught
HSC lite ure by her @ Merrilands HS. Theo told me a meaning 4 kugelis but he got it wrong as it
turned out. Alec told me later that it means potato cake (ie the kugelis Ive been  on ☼days) & the
song is about  spuds every day. Spuds r even bigger in east europe than in ireland. No doubt
Mykolas will confirm Alecs version next I c him when there is an even money chance Ill b  kugelis
again (& loving it) (2 b continued) …(done a 70k round trip 2 Wirrabara 2 read the papers with the
help of a jug from which I got 4 cups of extremely strong plunger coffee & I also had a steak & pepper
π; dont know if I mentioned last time th@ the town roads r in the process of being asphalted &
whether Ive mentioned th@ there is a primary school here; Im back on the shore north of the town @
the spot where beach meets mangrove) …. ring the  with Kate I gave her the invite 2 the AXLE
exhibition suggesting she might enjoy a visit 2 a free event. I must stress th@ me & Kate do not mix
in the same circles (being father & daughter) except th@ we both know F k & Marissa independ ly
& have never met unexpectedly @ a social gathering. Kate gl d @ the list of names of exhibitors
on the inside page of the brochure & remarked that 1 of them, Danny Moynihan, had been a teacher
of hers @ art school @ RMIT. He was good too, she said, sticking 2 pracal method instead of the
airy fairy conceptual stuff many of her teachers were in2. Danny gets my stuff! Then it t spired she
had been @ the Jas H. Duke tribute 9 years ago. She remembered πo asking her where I had
disappeared 2 as I hadnt been on the scene 4 years. She remin me of a story about how I had
thrown πo down a set of stairs @ the end of a poe reading. I was very flattered the story had
changed in her memory as I had told her it was he who had thrown me down the stairs bcoz I was d
k & disorderly. I only remember the t of the reading as I must have had an alcoholic black out by the
end of the night (those were the days; “now the days of youth have fled / and grey hairs are on my ”
– Blake, I ). Then she said F k L & friends had been @ the tribute doing their sound poe stuff –
th@s when I realized the foto he had been talking about must have been taken @ the event. Ill check
with Tony next I see him if hes changed his mind about boycotting ‘the poets’! (2/12/08. ♂ nvr did
t) Oh yes, 4 I 4get, Fondane  that Shestov  th@ “Heine was right to say that Kant was
more of a fearsome revolutionary than Robespierre. Robespierre only cut off people’s , Kant be
ed God Himself.” ….  home but missed H again. Shes not home till late 2night becoz of a school
play. Dans interview went well. Hes getting his US passport & a working visa valid 4 3 years next
week & ing off after fashion week. Im about 2 do the mandatory stroll 2 the end of the pier (1k +
1k), get a couple of stubbies, & spend the night @ my usual spot by the beach. 5.35pm*
46
 28/8 /03 (30/11/08. *….* ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53)). *Camping spot (where I
definitely wont b able 2 get in again this year because of the growth in the vegetation down the centre
strip of the track) → Waikerie (ferry across the Murray & petrol) → Loxton (also a Murray town where
I checked the  on which Dan had left a message 2 say he was better but if he was still crook in a
weeks time he would see Doig (who has closed shop 4 a while 2 c one of his kids compete in a ski
event) on friday; read the paper over $3 of strong latte) → Pinnaroo (topped up with petrol @ the BP
service station where the dispenser in the toilet sells SUPER RIBBED & TEXTURED CONDOMS &
CONDOMS IN ASSORTED COLOURS) → Murrayville (2 stubbies of Coopers Sparkling; they had
1½ inches of  last weekend) → Danyo reserve (2.30pm). I have come a full  as its here I  the
1st en 4 the Im putting out so mayb its appropriate 4 me 2 come back 2 Nietzsches notion of
the ‘eternal ’ on which I commented then. (I can  the rufous whistler again) Despite his (& Pierre
Klossowskis) best efforts & his mastery of language (he had been a prof of philology) he was
unable 2 make his experi @ Sils Maria coher (pass it on; integ e in2 the social fabric).
Perhaps its just as well 4 it may when it is t slated in2 words (agreed meaning) the primary experi
of knowing (ie the discomfort, agitation, amazement, mystery) is laid aside or destroyed. Putting
things in2 words (la ing, giving a context, explanation) is always reductionist (& a viewing
backwards), an attempt 2 ex complexity by simplicity (many by few; set in terms of subsets). His
failure 2 incorpo e (in2 language) his insight shows how xeptional it was. It seems he understood
the limitations of language & so the question has 2 b asked why he persisted in the effort (I am
interested becoz I keep asking why I am ). His answer, self flattering I suggest, would have been
th@ he was giving xpression 2 an overabund , an xess, an xuber (throwing pearls b4 ?)
(when I get out of control I talk about alec, an intersection of discourses etc) but I think it is more
likely th@ no matter how secure we feel in our separate identities we know we r incomplete until we r
joined with others. It is likely the Sils Maria insight was incapable of being shared becoz it connected
parts of the b (which mediates (or is a node in) all experi , emotion, ideas, insight, intuition but u
cannot say its where they happen) rarely joined. It may b the kind of connections involved were the
same which would later lead 2 his insanity & subsequ sil . Klossowski suggests he had a
premonition (likewise it seems jesus of nazareth knew (he is reportd 2 have predicted) his minis
was 2 end by his early execution) of it & the Sils Maria revelation was its justifiion. Should
Nietzsches insight have been contingent on his final condition the insanity is no measure of its
validity since experi is its own judge (christs  can b seen equally as a sui (he could have avoi
it by accepting the offer on the cliff top) which some might call a negation or as being justified (even
necessitated) by his minis ). Unlike Nietzsche I dont feel driven 2 ex epiphanies. In these trip
♪♫ I have been deing the small detail of minor  & hope my accept of what I cannot
underst& protects me from the anger of the gods.*
25/9/03 (September 20/21 (cursive by helenZ; block by a … z …) (no 40)). In Booligal
“the world’s contracted thus”: the pub and the general store, which is also the post office, the
Commonwealth Bank, the Medicare Office and the petrol station. It doesn’t sell newspapers. It is up for
sale . The pub caters mostly for pig shooters who frequent the area (we met a group on the banks of the
Lachlan there once, on a long-ago trip – 2 or 3 4x4s with cages on the back full of dogs that made pitbulls
seem wimpy, lots of guns and spotlights festooned around, lots of beer, lots of mean-looking blokes.) I
have accepted responsibility for changing our plans and countermanding John’s preferences, so we are
now on the banks of the same Lachlan but about 35ks east from Hillston after a fraught couple of hours
ringing Melbourne. When I checked my mobile at Hillston I had 5 messages beginning on Tuesday 23/9 and
ending with one made at 10.30 today. 4 were from Ben in an anxious state over mum’s health – he has
been visiting her each day and she’s in pain from an ulcer on her foot, a bit zonked out, breathing rapidly
and “looking really sick”. Kate had left message 4 to say she had also visited, but mum was ‘compus
mentis’ and though in some pain seemed OK. Ben’s last message said he saw no improvement. First I rang
Ben to leave a message on his mobile (he rarely has it on), then Joe’s mobile to ask him to let Ben know
there was a message, then Kate’s mobile (twice, as we were cut off the first time) to speak to her in
person, then Bodalla where I got onto a carer whose opinion meant little, but who said a nurse I knew was
coming on duty at 2.30pm, so I said I’d ring back then. Waited in the pub till 2.45 and then spoke to
Margaret, the nurse, who said she was just about to deliver one of the postcards I’ve sent so she would get
to the bottom of things and ring me back – I forgot to tell her before hanging up that there was no mobile
reception where I was so rang Bodalla again to let her know to leave me a message to which Id respond if
she thought things looked bad. Went to the small park near the SES base and had a small snack. Then
back to the phone booth to retrieve her message. She said mum was not eating because her ulcer pain
was making her nauseous, so she was organizing an anti-nausea medication from the chemist and an egg

47
flip or milky drink for sustenance, as well as more pain relief. Mum’s breathing is no worse than it
sometimes is, and her mood is flat because I’m not there, but she isn’t in any danger. Rang Ben and left a
message to that effect, rang Kate but her phone was engaged, rang Joe to tell him to tell Kate I rang and
I havent checked my message
relay the info. Who says they can manage without a phone?
bank. The 1 time I remember where the possibility of Vi ing was a major con-
st

sideration on 1 of our trips was over 40 years ago b4 we were married when we
went on a ing trip 2 the Snowy river. My responses 2 the health problems
associated with her ageing have been muted by the memory. Now @ 88 she really
could  (1/10/03. H & Kate have spent the day @ her side. Ben was there. Vi is 
ing. 2day is Hs birthday). We have 2 decide how 2 respond 2 a possibility the
likelihood of which is difficult to assess. Prior 2 our last holiday 2gether Doig vol-
unteered th@ in his opinion she was not @ s door. H would have  him 2day too
but he is away watching his son in a skiing comp & is not available till next
wednesday. Vi refuses 2 see any other doctor. It is evid 2 me now th@ Hs desire
2 go east where there r more towns is influenced by a requirement 2 b able 2
check her message bank daily. She hadnt indied th@ when we discussed our
travelling options b4 we left. I suppose we should also ensure we r within a days
drive of Melbourne which means we shouldnt go north of here. I had  th@ 2night
Id comment on the statement by Wing Tang th@ practicing falundafa had
reinforced his conviction “ that ‘’ is not a thing that should be feared at all.” He
made the assertion in a ♪ he left 4 me a week b4 we went on the trip in which he
has generously said he has been “silently appreciative” of the material I have
sent his way. I hope 2 renew our acquaint over a chinese meal in the near
future. Its getting dark (the corellas & the galahs r making raucous preparations
4  (heard a shot the other side of the river) over) & Ill put off the comments
till 2morrow if I am up 2 it.
30/10 /03 (October 27 (no 41)). I was right about the weather. It was a still, y
night. Why do I believe what people tell me? The r had soun so confid & said he had talked
2 the office in Griffith about it (after I asked whether he had actually seen a weather map thinking he
may have seen a more recent 1 than I had put out on the weather bureau site on the ) ring the
day. If I had remained where I was I wouldnt havethe on the highway in South Hay all
through the night as they slow down 4 the roundabout & then change through the gears 2 accele e
out. Im on the river bank where Ive  a previous entry Ive put out earlier in the year (c 3/6/03 -
12/6/03. p8). A kookaburra (Dacelo novaeguineae) l&ed on the roof of the b4 dawn & gave a
bit of a chortle just in case I hadnt been woken by the . Another king er around is the
sacred king er (Todirhampus (Halcyon) Sancta). While still in  I was visited by a f of white-
winged choughs (Corcorax melanorhamphos) & canthem now further away. Saw a black faced
cuckoo-shrike (Coracina novaehollandiae) & canthe beautiful ♪♫ of a grey shrike-thrush
(Colluricincla harm-onica) from across the river. The choughs have returned & r wandering about
on the other side of the . There r many other  ♪♫. Switched in2 shorts, sandals, & short-sleeved
shirt (drove 2 the toilet urgently & also washed me , & teeth (incidentally Ive got a gold crown (c
August 18 p2)) & have ed 2 me spot) 2 continue the . I want 2 x a difference of opinion I
have with Wittgenstein because Im such an admirer of his method though I dont xpect even 1 of
my readers will have the faintest idea of what Im talking about & if there r those who  they do they r
almost certainly misinterpreting what I am saying. The specific impulse th@ triggers these
observations is reading the passage 1 Corinthians 15: 50-55 whch was 1 of the readings @ George
Joosts funeral service. Un4tunately I have 2 quote it from the Good News Australia version instead
of the King James which I prefer. Here it is ““ What I mean, friends, is that what is made of
flesh and blood cannot share in God’s Kingdom, and what is mortal cannot possess
immortality. Listen to this secret truth: we shall not all , but when the last trumpet
sounds, we shall all be changed in an inst , as quickly as the blinking of an . For when
48
the trumpet sounds, the  will be raised, never to  again, and we shall be changed.
For what is mortal must be changed into what is immortal; what will  must be changed
into what cannot . So when this takes place, and the mortal has been changed into the
immortal, then the scripture will come true: “ is destroyed; victory is completed?”
“Where,  is your victory? Where, , is your power to hurt?”” When Wittgensteins
hormone & x- tment was discontinued becoz it had become obvious he had only months 2 live
(2 in fact) he remarked “I am going to work now as I have never worked before.” (@ the end
when told he had only a few days left he said “good!” & b4 losing consciousness when he was told
his close friends in england would b coming next day he said “Tell them I’ve had a wonderful
life”. (11/3/09. nth mornn ♂ kmpozd ♂z lrst flosfkl : “Someone who dreaming says ‘I am
dreaming’, even if he speaks audibly in doing so, is no more right than if he said in his
dream ‘it is raining’, while it was in fact raining. Even if his dream were actually
connected with the noise of the rain.” kots on 4mzv @10shn - 25/9/08)). Wittgenstein
 over ½ of the ♪♫ whch were published in the posthumous let titled On Certainty in the 2 months
after the cessation of his treatment. Any1 wishing 2 underst& my comm might b helped by
reading the which is easily available. The appears 2 b a response 2 the claim by the philosopher
G.E. Moore th@ certain kinds of common sense knowledge r self evid eg. if u say: this is an
elephant as u r st&ing in front of 1; the  has been here long b4 me; I exist. Wittgenstein wanted
2 show th@ these kind of statements could not b seen 2 b a 4m of knowledge but belonged better 2
the realm of assertiveness. The statements (all of Moores examples were of the kind) r incapable of
being contested bcoz we wouldnt know what we were doing if we tried 2. For some1 2 wonder
whether he existed or 2 claim he ddnt (I heard F k O make this claim once as he banged a table
fiercely & I know what he was doing: he was drawing @ention 2 himself by getting up our noses coz
he was xisting too much) would raise the suspicion he was going insane. It happens becoz these kind
of propositions 4m the river  (I would say the context 2 provide the meaning) along which the kinds
of propositions whch provide knowledge (I have a differ definition of knowledge) flow. The
propositions whch provide knowledge (of objects, & r the basis of the sci es) r of the kind whch r
capable of being denied (or measured – a…z...) eg. if someone says this is a refrigerator as he points
@ a chair. It is import 2 underst& th@ Wittgensteins egorization of the 2 kinds of statem
isnt a hidden truth whch he has discovered & revealed (eg.  on stone tablets by god th@ have lain
hidden in the  till Ludwigs arrival) but more in the nature of a rule or a language device (or
‘game’) which he invents (proposes!? Asserts!?) 2 solve a ‘grammaal’ (in the Wittgenstinian usage)
problem raised by G.E.Moores thesis. Now here is a sharp difference between me &
Wittgenstein (though I have no doubt th@ given an opportunity we would have agreed th@ on
the fundamentals we were skinning the same rabbit but by differ methods) who was @racted 2
religious practices though unable 2 participate in them whereas I find them (the ch ing, language as
inc ation, the mumbo jumbo of the droned responses, ritual, group intoxiion) repugn : he could
find no reason (according 2 his schema) why religious practice should not b part of the foundational
structures (river  of assertions) along whch the waters of denia propositions (eg. sci ) might
flow & he would have liked it 2 b so (make it so) whereas I prefer religious language (while asserting
that all language is reductive) 2 b of the kind where its propositions r capable of being coherently
denied. & it is clear 2 me from the intellig of the language & the sense of intimacy I feel from the
coincid th@ certain of his observations r subst ially the same as mine th@ Paul is speaking
the same language of denia propositions as I do. Here is an earlier quote (1 Corinthians 15: 35-38):
“Someone will ask, “How can the  be raised to life? What kind of body will they have?”
You fool! When you plant a seed in the ground, it does not sprout to life unless it . And
what you plant is a bare seed, perhaps a g of wheat or some other g, not the full-
bodied plant that will later grow up. God provides that seed with the body he wishes; he
gives each seed its own proper body.” If I were 2 xtend the meaning of the word body by using
the word soul (which I dont because the meaning of ‘soul’ has been debased by falling in2 the wrong
) I would use it 2 d my amazement @ the relation between a seed & a , or the green grub on
a lettuce & a white-winged butter , or the underground larval stage of a cicada with its eyes that
could have no concept of & the green insect with t sparent wings vib ing with ♪♫. The kind of t
s4mation of us envisaged by Paul is based on out analogies which is 1 of the main ways th@ sci

49
 (& mathem@ according 2 Wittgenstein) progresses. The con ion th@ @ our  an
analogous t s4mation may take place is a deniable proposition. But I, though known 4 my
scepticism, am unable 2 deny it. 2 b able 2 do so would require me 2 have the capacity 2 observe
myself from outside my frame in the way I can observe a seed  & b replaced by a . Also, 2 claim
th@ the  (or some of them) can b or will b on the last day raised (reconstituted! in a new form?!) is
a proposition of the deniable type. I have no evidence 4 it. The reason I dont suppose I will b easily
understood is becoz what I am doing is not a discussion (same 4 Wittgenstein) of what already is
or isnt or might or should b but a participation in the process of 4ming it. (a tiny dark brown cicada, no
bigger than a blow , lan on me arm)…. 5.40. If some1 were 2 assert th@ anything we do doesnt
have a bodily compon (in the case of language partially neurological) I could not imagine what he
might mean. How else would these processes b taking place? Furthermore it is obvious th@ any
practice modifies the body & the body we inherit sets limits 2 possible changes. So I dont expect 2 b
understood by some1 who hasnt done the same exercises & followed similar paths 2 mine. I have
judged the worth of my journey by the way stations & since the kind of places u enjoy is a m@er of
individual taste I have no inclination 2 promote my way. Some may prefer 2 stay in the same place
either bcoz their bodily structures r predisposed 2 stability or though capable of change they r
satisfied with where they r. I suspect the religious (or secular) fundamentalist is th@ sort of person.
Villagers can sometimes believe so strongly in their slogans & mblms & find challengers from outside
so threatening they r prepared 2 kill others or sacrifice themselves in the effort 2 retain stability. It
may b some havnt travelld enough 2 ♪ice th@ in the very next village  shout the very opposite & r
equally inc d 2  4 their . My preference is 2 st& aside from the intensities of village life
bcoz my pleasure comes from observing & comparing their differ languages. It could mean I have
trouble finding some1 who talks my own. But I dont think I care. Perhaps I dont know what Im missing
… I am still in the Hay area just out of town @ a place on the river called Soapworks Beach. U get
here by going a few ks along the Maude road & turning left @ the sign. This is a terrific find & its
going 2 b my new stopover when Im in the area. There r some huge river red gums & heaps of.
The most import thing is there r also plenty of grassy spots where u dont have 2  under over-
hanging limbs as even a small b ch could go through my fibreglass roof. Its an important conside
ion 2night as a change is predicted. Im the only person here though the area goes 4 over a k along
the river. There r heaps of  I wont bother nume ing. Bcoz its so still the place is ringing with
their ♪♫♪♫.
6/11/03 (*….* ← DANYO RESERVE (no 53)). *The funeral tied up some loose ends but
also proces new 1s. I prefer the word disengagement 2 closure. In closure u put outside & shut the
door. (9/11/03. You also use a horrible piece of american psychobabble – helenz.) When u disengage u
can retain @ a dist . I hadnt known how Vi had prayed or th@ she had accepted the last rites. It
made the religious tone (but Im glad there was no music – I dont think I could have stomached it) of
the ceremony H, a non-believer, had devised more underst&able. I dont think I would have liked 2
have been in Noels shoes married 4 a lifetime 2 a woman 4 whom even @ your very best u could
only ever b a 2nd best. I grieve 4 him. I was away on a trip 2 Thurra river in Gippsland when he  & it
hasnt occurred 2 me 2 ask what kind of funeral it was or if H had organized th@ ceremony also. He
was buried by the Gianarelli (28/1/05. Viz woz dun x Le in Ivanhoe whch Iv since dskuvrd iz ownd x
a yank  korpr8n) brothers (2/12/08. 1vm rdrug ) & I remember being surprised @ how little it had
cost. He wouldnt have wanted it differently. During their marriage Vi had known how 2 rub in his
2ndary status but perhaps he had deserved it. Hs characterization of her by the single word love is
seen by me in the context of having had an alterion with her from whch our relation was unable 2
fully recover. I grieve 4 Vi bcoz I think she would have liked 2  & could have but was always groun
by st es. Its interesting how the clergymen get in on the act @ critical moments: , marriage,
sex, . They know where youre vulnerable but its a mutual a ment. These r the m@ers people
recognize as pivotal & in whch they ask 2 b gui (7/11/03. they yearn 4 endorsement). If its not the
church whch does it then its going 2 b the state whch delegates the task 2 lawyers, doctors, a nt
& experts whom it can control more easily by owning the f chise. But churchmen r very easily
controllable these days too unless theyre muslims (27/1/05. but x now they 2 hav bn d & rmain
silent on th trtur of Habib (29/1/05. rturnd → AUSTRALIA ystrdy on th nnvrsry of th lbr8n of
AUSCHWITZ (GUANTANAMO will grow in th mmry of hstrians) & woz mmd8ly smeard (havn
prviously bn mnstru8d on?) x Ruddock hoo sez he iz rportd (x sum1 trturd? (31/1/05. a knadian wth a
50
rabk name hoo woz “rendered” (a butcherz term meann 2 karv up & melt ↓ 4 f@) x th USofA → syria
falsly dmttd 2 n wth al Qaeda in th lok8ns he woz told 2 say )) 2 hav d wth al Qaeda & th@ he
will b kept ndr bzrv8n 4 past ssoci8ns (an eezee (favrit of KGB) smear az ppl dont rlize how few ºs of
sepr8n dvide us) & Downer ssured us he will not b llowed 2 rzume th “war on terror” (freudian slip?).
I will read hiz if he  1 2 try 2 dcide if he iz Olly nnocent (az I xpkt) or whthr he haz bn rleasd bkoz
he haz greed 2 prmote (31/1/05. or bkoz he haz bn pumpd so full of psykoaktiv chmkls he haz gon
mad & lost krdblty so th yanx feel hiz ssertions O hiz tmnt will not b takn sriously) yank (thr4 our)
PROPAGANDA.) & uthrs). Their silence on crial issues where it nts but 2 speak up would
endanger privileges is thunderous. I wonder what Id do about a funeral if H . Id never thought of the
possibility having already outlived my expectations. If I asked shed say dont b morbid, who cares. I
think Id do nothing. Mayb go on a trip & sit on a pier with a stubby somewhere on the Eyre peninsula.
Kate would say Ill organize it what do u want done dad & Id say suit yourself. Rasas view is th@ my
mum would like a large ‘community’ burial along the my father had (9/11/03. but perhaps she
thinks so bcoz its what she herself would xpect). @ least Id come 2 the wake in case her & Egle nee
 support. No kind of funeral service would have salvaged his . He (28/1/05. a keen grafr. 2day I
nlarged & sent off a kupl of fotos takn in th early 50s 2 th Lakes Entrance Family Resource Centre
Inc. (c/o Brian Hancock) of us wth an boriginl famly nxt 2 their humpy in a settlmnt in th out
back of Whiters Park. I  2 Brian it woz ronik th@ thez, th nly fotos of th settlmnt (long gon) he knew
of, wer takn wth my fathrz - th newst rrivls grafn th earliest!)  @ the wrong time (around 50+) 2
have had a chance 2 benefit from the friend of a ☼ as I was still @ an age of ‘sturm und d g’ & not
easy 2 get on with. He was a person who had found it difficult 2 cope with disloion & when he
finally got his electronics diploma @ RMIT & his law subject from Melbourne uni & was beginning 2
settle in2 a job as a pa examiner whch he found 2 his surprise suited him just right – he . & it
was a difficult  with much misagnosis & cutting edge medical experimentation. In the end it turned
out 2 b bone cancer & his illness was unforgiving & long. 1 thing I realized after Vis funeral is that I
dont want 2 b incine ed & I make the request 2 any1 2 whom it might concern. I would like 2 know
now so my last conscious moments r not distracted by  of . Bury me in a ditch (10/10/03. so I
can look after me worm farm) (2/12/08. chanjd me mnd – koodnt kair ls nimor how tz dun)….* (9.30
Danyo reserve) → Underbool (turned right on2 the Patchewollock road) → Hopetoun ( brgr &
coffee & read the Age: great speech by Ashrawi; mayb a good movie (11/11/03. saw it yesterday – it
was OK) about south african protest songs coming up) → Wycheproof (2 stubbies) → Boort (a  by
the ☼t pans) → (found a terrific spot 2 spend a night on the Loddon weir about 40ks south east of
Boort but it was already taken by a guy on a 3 wheel bike) → Mitiamo (2 stubbies) → Terrick Terrick
National Park.
(30/11/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 4 (nos. 34 – 41 of anthology))

19/2 /04 (16/2/04 – 27/2/04 (no 42)). 9.00. Ther r blackberries † the road with some
ripe fruit (2 + 2 the mango I had 4 breakfast); a went past heading 4 the mouth of the river (in2
Lake King. C map 84 of Vic Roads Country Directory). I learnt a new word from the Vermes day
b4 ystrdy: ESCH@OLOGY & my  is ESCH@ALOGICAL ie. it pertains 2 the “final period of the
present era and all other m@ers pertaining to it”. On a smaller scale I rturn 2 the m@er of
knowing I hav finishd saying the things whch wer mportant 4 me 2 say. A couple of weeks ago I rread
my last 8 or so & spnt another 1 of those sleepless nights rviewing what I had said & it confirmd
my knowledg th@ I hav givn as clear an a nt as I m capabl of. I should considr myslf 4tun@ as
ther r many who would hav liked 2 giv fuller xpression 2 thmslvs but hav bn prvnted x circumstances
or lack of language. I m not 1 of thm. It would b fair 4 some1 2 ask me how do I ‘know’ in case I dont
know the meanng of the word. 2 answer I suggest u considr what is the dffrence (the str@egy of) in
saying ‘I m in pain’ 2 saying ‘I know I m in pain’ & compare it 2 the dffrence in saying ‘I M SANE’ 2 ‘I
KNOW I M SANE’ & compare it 2 saying ‘I M NSANE’ 2 ‘I KNOW I M NSANE’. A clue: it concerns the
balance btween ‘knowing’ & ‘meaning’ (c 12/4/03 – 24/4/03 p16,17). Czeslaw Milosz (27/2/04.
from slavic root ‘milo’/love so th@ (Slobodan) Milosevic means lover. In litho: ‘miliu’/I love, &
‘meilė’/noun 4 love) (Česlovas Milašius in litho) who claims he is a polish speaking lithuanian (he
has a supposedly close rel@iv in the litho communty in Sydney who spells his name MILAŠAS) whos
long life covers the period of both wars (1st & 2nd) says th@ prior 2 the 2nd u could hav filld a libary wth
prdicting the evnts 2 follow. Did the literry fr@rnty ‘KNOW’ or sens what was 2 come? I rather cy
51
an evn bigger libary could hav bn filld wth prdictions (esp in germany) of a triumphant future & the
immnnt rrival of the goldn age. Robert Musil says th@ b4 the 1st war & the dmise of the civilzation
of the Hapsburgs all points of view had their rprsent@ives & their loud PROPHETS. I c (feel it in my
bones, apprhnd, fear? sens) the nd & prdict the dstruction of MPIRES & of CIVILZATION as we know
it. Others c it dffrently & they may wish 2 in4m me th@ my VISION is faulty. But it has never bn my
ntrest (or n10tion or poli) 2 speak 4 (rprsnt) others. I only speak 4 myself. I SAY IT AS I C IT. 4 it
may b th@ every moment contains in it ALL POSSIBLE FUTURES. → xplord further along the river
ncluding its mouth walkng out 2 the spit whch drectly 2wards Paynesville † the lake; u get 2 this
part via Punt rd & Reynolds rd; did a walk of sevral hours 2wards Metung & back along the shore of
the lake with (Cygnus atratus) making flutey low pitchd ♪♫ as I passd; ther r many spots in the
area whch would b easy 4 us 2  4 the night → Metung (paid $5.50 4 a brgr as bad as the 1 in
Omeo; the shopkeeper terpreted my rquest 4 a & onion 1 2 mean no salad; whn I was eating it a
baby kept pecking my toes but whn I gave it some of the meat p@y the mother stole it. Bought 2
buns 4 2night but cldnt get an Age as they had run out. Checkd Warren Willmans +ress (c The Hat
p2 (3/12/08. 18/2/99 )) as I  I should drop in having bn nvited 5 years ago & dscovered its in
Reynolds rd off Punt rd wher I had bn earlier in the day. Will drop x l8r. I m back @ the pub again but
@ an outside table rght over the water wher 2 coots (Fulica astra) & a pied cormrant
(Phalacrocorax melanoleus) r feeding x diving in2 the sea-grass. Its 3.20 so will spnd the night in
the area. Checkd thewher ther was a message from H left @ 8.30 tuesday evening: evrything is
OK) → found Warrens place but no 1 was home & a neighbour said they wouldnt b back till after t so
drove 2 the nd of Punt rd 2 a spot oppsit a l&ing area, jetties & park th@ r out back of Johnstonville.
Johnstonville is on the Princes Highway out of Bairnsdale going 2wards Lakes Entrance & Iv drivn
countless times thrgh it wthout realizing it was on a river. Had a swim x way of a wash & brushd me
teeth & shaved. Time 4 a further quote from Ernest Gellner: “The question of course arises,
which came first: this extraordinary ability and variety of possible conduct, or language?
Obviously I do not know, but the point that has to be made is that the two are clearly
correlative. Once you have the possibility of an astonishing nge of behaviours, it has
to be restricted somehow, and there has to be some kind of system of signs indicating
the limits. This I assume is central to the origins of language. Language makes possible
that astonishing kind of variety, by allowing it to be contained. It consists of a set of
markers delineating the bounds of conduct, bounds whose gene limits have become
far too broad for any one social order. Only a species endowed with something like
language can have a wide nge of geneally possible behaviour; and a geneally
broad of conduct necessitating some mechanism ie. language: which res that
which nature has failed to restrict.” → got 2 Warrens place 25 mins b4 he had 2 leav 4 a “
ing”. Warren & Adam, rogue males (if u can say it about JEHOVAS WITNESSES) whn I 1 st met thm r
now both married: Adam 2 Julie, Dons sister, & Warren 2 Gabbi a german tourist who had bn a 
nurse & now after 18 months of bureaucr@ messing around is qualfied 2 work in ozzie wher we
hav a nursing shortage. She wasnt ther as she was on her way back from Melbourne after seeing
some rel@ives off back 2 germany. Their house is in the village (no shops) of Tambo Bay (not markd
evn in the Vic Roads Country Directory) & has what is known in real est8 jargon as abslute water
frontage 2 Lake King. I said Id call again in the next 5 years. Back here I had a biscuit, mango, & a
cup of soup (CONTINENTAL Cup-a-Soup Garden Harvest POTATO & LEEK 98% FAT FREE) closely
watchd x a pelcan who flew over from the other side of the river with some mpressive snorts & g ts
as soon as I opend the tailg8 of the van & td messing about wth kitchn gear. I m 3 steps from the
water @ the spot I had a swim in earlier. I love it the way the wind drops @ ☼set.
26/2 /04. In the Authen Gospel … (I m 1/3rd of the way thrgh it) Geza Vermes out
th@ the a nt x the greek gentile (&  in greek as r the othrs) Luke (or x a  ing Lukes words
or the words of othrs rcallng Lukes words with the words “according 2 Luke”) has already
mbarkd on the process of the deification of JESUS of nazareth. A way in whch it diffrs frm the a nt
x Mark (who mght hav bn an aramaic speakng christian  & whos words r thght 2 hav bn rcor (x
him or x a  ing his or the words of othrs rcallng his) some 10-30 yrs earlier is th@ in Mark jesus
is still llowed 2 ask questions (of the type: how long has she bn ?) showing a human lack of knowldg
whereas x Lukes version they hav bn editd out as if nconsistnt wth an all knowing deity. Yet if the
miracls r 2 b xtraordnary it can only b if they r per4md x some1 who is human (in my readng of the
52
gospls jesus nevr made an unequi claim 2 divinty) & limitd x language. If u can blieve in the miracls
(x defnition somethng th@ cannt be done othrwise we wldnt be ntrestd in thm mor than we r in rare
evnts or freaks of nature) thn it shld b possibl 4 u as it was 4 his listnrs 2 blieve in anythng he said
howevr mpossbl. In whch case the lost need not fear, the destitute will b rwar, & the ing com4td. I
gree wth Wittgenstein th@ the christian edifice rquires th@ the nazarene rose from the  & walkd
bodily amng his dscipls. Unless we blieve in the resurrection we cannt blieve in his continuing
prsence xept as a figr of speech & would u p 2 a figr of speech & cld it nswer your prayrs? But if I
wer 2 blieve in it I hav 2 ccept th@ words hav no meanng & the task in whch I m nvolvd is obscure.
Yet as a persn who  I hav no choice but 2 go wher they take me, thgh it b in . Ovr the 3 wks Iv
bn in Melbourne since reing from our summr holidy prior 2 ths trip Iv bn tellng evry1 how if I was 2
continue  I was going 2 take out the gaps from btwn the words (whn we wer in Sydney Louis gave
H the computr nstructns how 2 do it) makng wht I say almost mpossbl 2 comprhnd & llowing me in2 a
style of  whch was mor visual ngagng the  rthr than the ntellct. I 1td solid type flowing down the
page p@ernd x varying fonts like eddies in the surfce of watr. I had also bn tellng my friends 4 wks
th@ I was ng west 2wrds the Eyre Penisula on a snorklng trip. On the mornng I wnt I left a note 4 H
on the ktchn tabl saying I was going east & I still havnt done any snorklng. Ystrdy I dci (its why Iv
rsumd using hyphens whch Iv bn leavng out bcoz the computr nterprts thm as nstructions 2 shift
evrythng aftr thm 2 the nxt ) th@ @ least 4 ths time I would probbly rtain the spaces btween the
words. Whch givs me an xcuse 4 a finl quote, again frm Michaux. I hope som of the musicns who
get my  get far nough in2 ths 2 it as it applies just as well 2 the mprovisrs @ the MAKE IT UP
♣ as it does 2  & the visual arts: “Is style – that convenience of settling oneself in and pin ing
the  – really the man? That questionable achievement bringing p se to the reveling author?
His assumed gift is going to stick to him, slowly ing him sclero. Style: a sign (a bad one) of
an unchanged distance (but that could have, should have, changed), a distance where he
mistakenly stays and one he maintains regarding his being, things, and indivials. B ed! He
threw himself into his style (or laboriously sought it out). For a life on loan, he let go of his
wholeness, his possibility for change, mutation. Nothing to be proud of. Style that will become
lack of courage, lack of openness, of renewal: in sum, an infirmity … Try to get out of it. Go far
enough into yourself that your style can’t follow.” (6/3/04. Interesting that Michaux’s style is so
obvious that even I, who has only been acquainted with him by typing this piece, can recognize it instantly
– helenz) → Left @ 10.50 & walkd along the shor 2 Point Hicks & then rock hoppd 2wrd the house.
½ way round came † a larg fur seal asleep on the rocks just out of nge of the surge. Seals r oftn
hard 2 get close 2 but ths 1 was sound asleep so I was abl 2 get wthin a yd of it st&ing ovr it on a bit
of a ledg & ready 2 jump out of the way . I could hav touchd it but its not advisabl as they wake wth a
t & lunge in the drection of the watr. Ths anmal would hav bn my length & double me weight. I
clappd a coupl of times & it opnd its  blearily & went back 2 sleep. Thn I kpt clappng & it @ me
sleeply again & had just closd its  2 rturn 2 wht must hav bn an xtremely dreamy slumbr whn the
penny droppd & it lungd in2 the watr & ddnt sur tillit was out past the last rocks a 00 yds away. Frm
the point oppsit the house I could make out a raft of about 50 larg seals lying stationry in the waves.
Frthr round again I had a look undrwatr wth goggls & came on 4 Port Jackson (Heterodontus
portusjacksoni) in only about 8 ft of watr. 1 was a baby only a ft long. I man ld 1 of the biggr 1s but
it rmaind inert. Their skin has the txture of s&papr. The watrs around Point Hicks r now a marine
cnsrvation zone & I was xcited 2 c large abalone in numbrs wherevr I lookd. From ther I went along
West Beach wher I †d in2 the low nd of the large ne & up & ovr back along the rivr. Saw a beautful
tail (Emblema bellum) out of the reeds. Its a bird I rarely c these days. Back in camp @ 4.15.
Bn talkng 2 Anton & Phoebe. They get about 4 such a young ♀/♂. Anton used 2 b brght here as a kid
x his parents who now do long trips 2 places like Darwin, the Kimberleys etc. Ncidentlly they nvitd me
4  ystrdy but Id eatn. They had a go @ findng Camp creek but my drections wer not up 2 it.
2morrow Im putting in the ntry 2 finish off the Im putting out &  out of here. Normlly Id b racing
home anxious 2 hav the typing done but Ill be taking it slow thrgh hill country so the yank I.T. GURU
(28/2/04 ‘A Morning with Jamie McKenzie’: “ In this presentation Jamie McKenzie suggests
a dozen ways to optimize benefits from the new technologies …” etc @ the G d Hyatt
Melbourne) is gon good & propr b4 I get back. Dont know why H takes on these ultra nerve wrackng
53
orgnizationl jobs @ an age whn most people r rtired. (6/3/04. Perhaps its about dogs and dancing. But
its more about the fact that its difficult to get people to listen to good stuff unless there is an an
acknowledged expert talking about it. As a society we like Gurus. I have been saying the very things he
says for many years, but have been ignored. That’s what happens to prophets in their own country –
helenz). Its only 5.45 & Iv got 4 a few hrs of readng.
8/4/04 (3/4/04 – 12/4/04 (no 43)). → Licola (crap) → Heyfield (ppr,ptrl) → Cowwar,
Toongabbie, Glengarry, Tyers → Walhalla (ehye has here hyeh) → here (45ks north of Walhalla, a
few ks past Aberfeldy on the road 2 Woods Point @ 4.5 x G3 Map 81). We had a hairy 9ks on the
Walhalla – Aberfeldy Rd, though we were warned by a sign that said “9 Kilometres of narrow winding road”
just before we got to the relevant bit. The drop on the passenger side was straight down, with the trees
growing on the perpendicular on the not quite 90 º slope. Luckily we didn’t meet anyone coming the other
way, because backing up to the very few slightly wider sections would have been a nightmare. Speaking of
which, John had one last night, though not of the usual thrashing, kicking, foul-mouthed variety. (I dreamt
I was in the TV room in our Ivanhoe hous & a large man wth vacnt (or zombieish or moronik)
xpression (14/4/04. It was probably one of those “low” readers Thoreau talks about, coming round to
borrow my copies of “Woman’s Day” – helenz) walkd past the window as if 2 entr O the back. The nxt
momnt in the dream was nighttime & I woz asleep but could hear him undr the hous tryng 2 opn the
trapdoor in the floor 2 get nside. In the dream I yelld very loudly probbly somthing like GET OUT OF
HERE. @ any t it was somthing nnocuous H says & I dont rmmbr th@ I was prtclary ngry)
Yesterday in the lower part of the Macalister valley on the way to Licola we passed a large paddock full of
sunflowers – photo opportunity! They looked really beautiful, all standing to attention facing the sun, with
their big round faces fringed with a single row of golden petals. Today we found 2 apple trees on the sides
of roads – the first were a bit sour, but too good to pass by, and the second were a different variety and
much closer to ripe. Like the peaches & the walnuts they are magnets for our inbuilt scavenger reflex. We
couldn’t wickedly waste the fruit going to ruin from birds and lack of interest from other passersby, could
we? Inspected Walhalla and the Walkyries (mostly campers) – it’s a tiny town now, nestled in a really
narrow, steep valley, doing its best to look like an 1890s gold mining town. Since there were then over 40
shops, churches, banks and 25 pubs and 2000 people living there, it is obviously a pale reminder of things
past. There is a railway station which runs a 2 carriage train on a single track to Thompson station 20
minutes away at the entrance to the valley. As usual, railway enthusiasts have resurrected it with some
help from the government, though taking it through to the next town (Erica) would cost another $4million.
They already have to find $43k extra to pay for public liability insurance. Back in Melbourne a coupl of
weeks ago, LfOrVaEnCkE told me th@ Paul Auster @ributes the sayng “the centre is
everywhere, the circumference nowhere” 2 st Augustine but Augustine @ributes it 2 st
Basil. Scholars claim Basil nheritd it from the classcal greeks & I m inc d 2 gree as it has the O
of πthagorian mystcism. L8ly F k has come † a contmpry thinkr who claims the sayng may prd8
histry. He rang me last week 2 tell me th@ Pascal & Borges hav refrd 2 it 2. I (aŽrIūŽnYaSs →
ZjIoZhYnS → a … z) mght hav meant somethin simlar whn I  on 28/9/03 in Sept 20 p19: “It feels
as if Im looking outwards from the centre of the universe. Perhaps each 1 of us is such a
centre. It stretches away in infinite detail equally in every direction no matter who u r. The 
go on 4ever.” (Saw lyre (Menura novaeholl&iae) back on the road & can hear 1 nearx; spottd
quail-thrush (Cinclosoma punctateum) (3/12/08. Monday 13/10/08) r common in the area;
some king parrots flew x). Its gunna b cold on ths ridge 2night. I m eatng walnuts compulsivly.
29/4 /04 (29/4/04 – 1/5/04 (no 44)). Its ppropria@ I giv a komplete nthlogy of the  I
 out whn I strtd th ntrprize in th year 2000 (2/2/09. Hz 2008 xmas prz  me woz r magnfs mad
st
knss10 vth komplet Og vm  + kovrz & 1 pajz (sk&) wth n o & nd  Gombrowicz:
“I was telling Miłosz about a…z and mentioned how that writer had fulfilled my assertion th@ 1 must careful th@ the life neath
our  not come t s4med 2 poli, philosophy, or aesthe. I do not ded ied or pure art, I clamor 4 freedom. I ded a
“n@ural” cre@ivity, the kind th@ is the unpremedit8d realization of . ¶ ut ♂ : I am afraid, I am afraid th@ when he moves
away from History (th@ is, from the truisms of our day), he will alone. 2 which I : This f is indecent & what is worse,
imaginary. Indecent ecause it is, in fact, a resignation not just from excell , ut also from 1’s own truth, just as it is a
withdrawal from proba y the only heroism th@ makes up the pride, power, and vitality of lite ure. ♂ who fhu scorn &
loneliness among , let ♂m sil . This f is also imaginary cause the popularity th@ 1 gains in the service of the and the
curr of the epoch means only large eions & 0, a ☼utely 0 more. Only ♂ who is capa e of st&ing apart from  & existing as
a sepa e  & who only l8r wins 2, 3, or perhaps 10 +mirers, only ♂, my brothers, has overcome the i☼ation within the esta ished
boundaries of art. a…z is a  who mbodies my own @titudes to lite ure & I recomd ♂m 2 discerning . ¶ Witold
Gombrowicz 2008” & “Language. Not th@ a person should not make grammaal mistakes, but the mistake should not degrade.
Any1 can make a mistake in , even a grammaal or spelling mistake, but some people dress themselves in classic togas and these
folks are devastated by a mistake, even a minor 1. The , on the other , who does not want to be 2 impecca in articulation can
54
allow ♂self frequent stumblings and no 1 will hold him responsi for those. There4, a  must care not only 4 language, but, above all,
4 finding the right @titude to language, which is 2 say an @titude th@ is least inhibiting. It is a lousy stylist who allows ♂s words to
be used against ♂m. & lousy is ♂ who, like some ♀♀, makes a reputation for ♂mself of being without sin. The least little sin then
becomes a scandal. ¶  who de 2 much in an alleged precision of style, who try 2 shock with some sort of nonexist mathema
 of language, who coquet (the school of Anatole France) with their “mastery”: these  are no longer in ♪♫ with our .
Especially since sybaritism has become fashiona . A contemporary stylist must have a feeling for language as something ∞ &
dynamic th@ does not allow itself 2 mastered. ♂ will emphasize ♂s s uggle with 4m rather than 4m itself. ♂s @titude 2ward the
word, as something th@ eludes ♂m, is 1 of dis ust. This loosening of the bond between the  & the word ensures a gr8er boldness
in using words.”)
in this of  whch nchractristiclly I m doing in Melbourne (@ Miller st, 12.15 arvo) as
much of the m@erial in my 1st foldr was also  in the city. Though Zorca (c 3/4/04 p15) claims th
mis4tune of being my 1 readr I hope a few othrs r ntrstd eg (4 your info, Zorca): DsOhWaNrEoYn hoo
works on me  in th smallst  shop in Melbourne in Victoria st (@ 5.7 x E1 covr map) undr th
watchful ey of MOODGE & hoo says sh reads my stuff coz sh likes puzzls, & BROcUhGrHiTsON @
Parkhill Cellars (@ 5.2 x D5) hoo may not hav blievd me ystrdy whn I said th@ th search 4 IDENTITY
is an @mpt 2 SIMPLIFY yrslf (th@s th price & I reckn its 2 hgh) hoo probbly also reads it, & K8 (jus
back from the US) † th road (@ 5.7 x D) hoo thankd me (& esp H) day b4 ystrdy 4 givng her our
work. Im making ths list in th ordr the itms r in th foldr 2 O off, complete a O x going back 2 the
bginnng. Here it is: 1) ART (a 3-letter word) (c 16/2/04 – 27/2/04 p19). 2) GULF TRIP (typed x
SA&NrIeGwA (wth hoom I had  in Lygon st. ystrdy) from ARTE POSTALE items he rceivd @ Melb.
Uni. whch r now in th possssion of COaZdZrOiLaInNaI @ Florentina in Menton, Fran-ce & Casa
Tagglasco in Baiardo, Italie). 3) “They Know Not What They Do” (jc) ( 4 a show
KEdSaMnIiNuAsS & STEmViEkNeSON did in NEW YORK). 4) OPAL ( x Ben (4 an Age short story
comp.) whch I dstributed). 5) MEDITATION ON LAKE GAIRDNER (an album of ovr 200 fotos & 7
short writtn : The Gift (poem); Sleep; Labels; Naming It; Ants; Forgetting (wher I 
“Remembering and forgetting are reverse sides of one coin” (4 mor on revers sides of coins c
16/2/-04 – 27/2/04 p19)); & Time). 6) 25/1/00. 7) 20/6/00. (wher the histricl m@erial on the
holocaust was takn from an rtcl x SUŽIEDELIS (an histrian hoo did rsearch 4 the SIU (Special
Investig8ion Unit) in th USA ) whch I don8d last sundy 2 th litho library in Errol st (@ 5.2 x D5)
(1/5/04. & wher I ♪ wth srprise Hs contribution (bside th typing) had lready bgun as th ts wth a
poem x her & its a good 1: “in the beginning is the word / as the sperm meets the egg / etching into
every surface of the cell / replicating as the cell divides / unique grooves into which / every experience of
every second / of our threescore years and ten / must run / and all our effort all our lives / is only to find
/ its unknown shape and meaning ”). 8) 14/8/41 (wher I mntion th Hidden History of the Kovno
Ghetto put out x the holocaust museum in Washington & Last Walk in Naryshkin Park x
rZoWsIe (& so wth th rrival of EeWaErRlS @ litho hous (c 3/4/04 – 12/4/04 p11&12) nothr O
has bn joind) both of whch (2gethr wth Stetl x Eva Hoffman as nothr xampl of how 2  such a ) I
also don8d 2 litho hous th@ day. 9) 14/8/41 (I used th = title again bcoz I thght th d8 so mportnt. Thes
4 poems (The Room, The House, The City, Masks (3/12/08. Tuesday 14/8/41)) r them@clly
linkd 2 no 7), no 6), & no 5). I also used from thm in an ARTE POSTALE projct I from
Murrayville & Burra b4 meetng up wth sVaAuRlNiAuS). 10) 7/9/00 – 16/9/00 (alt title WRONG WAY
GO BACK (ts wth a poem whch is a favourit of mine (though I  it) so I rpeat it: “perhaps it is too
pedantic / to discuss // whether object causes motion / or the motion defines matter // is it the wind
that shakes the branch / or has the branch given life to air // is the flower beautiful / or did perfection
form the flower / can you see the dancer / or is the dancer hidden in the dance // does the dreamer
dream / or has the dream possessed the man // did the flute produce the tune / or has the tune been
waiting for the flute // I don’t really care about the answers / but the spirits that I talk to / all claim in
their conceited way / that it is they that speak to me”. I keep the ROMAN COIN I  O (2/2/09.
14/9/00 ) in th pocket of the foldr th rtcl is in.) 11) 2/10/00. 12) 17/9/00 & 18/9/00. (I was hyped up!
This was the H calld the shrinks & the cops). 13) 4/10/00 – 5/10/00 (in whch H nclu her   of
pology & promsd not 2 do it again. (3/12/08. 5/10/00)). 14) AN ESSAY (x ZIkZ8YS whch I
dstrbuted. On the back page I +d: “All pasts and all futures are only reflections of the present.”)
15) 11/11/00 (a set of 6 poems O language whch I  ovr 30 years ago & reused in an npublishd &
unpublishbl lnth FACTION (2/5/04. mor fac than fic) titld IN TRANSIT whch I  O 20 years ago & I
reuse th poems again here). 16) 10/1/01 (= applies 2 thes 6 poems O ; I put thm out in 2000 but
used nxt years d8 coz I 1td th binary titl). I hav bn drinkin lambrusco as Iv bn  & m DIZZY ….
back past the ZOO 2 Ivanhoe …. 6.40. H has rsumed typing. briLgAita  2 say sh has ordrd th tickts
@ $1665 rturn (Melbourne → Sydney → Hong Kong → Tokyo → Moscow (x Aeroflot) → Riga → litho
55
(x bus) & the  journey is Vilnius → Moscow etc.). Leaving 25th may & c@chin  f on 30th july. Ill
pay her on tuesday.
27/5 /04 (Melbourne → Kaunas (no 45)). I havnt had a nap since th Sydney Tokyo leg
of the f & Vaidas is comn ovr in O 1 hour (@ 8pm). Aftr w part Ill hav 2 crash. Filln in: Moscow
airport (esp. th domstik sektion wher peopl wer bunkn down on the floor & on th rows of seats wth all
their gear (the womn from Ulan Bator wer havn a really good time) as if theyd bn ther 4 weeks) woz
th xact →← of Narita xept 4 th price of beer whr w paid $7 merican 4 1 pot. On the f → Riga in a
Tupolev whr evry seat was takn x large men th guy nxt 2 me made me keep him kumpny in drinkn his
Hennessy whsky (1/8/04. I told th story 2 a nglshmn in Vilnius & he said ther was no such thng, but I
was usn it as a gnerik term). He was dressd in suit & n@y shirt & he said anythn is possbl & he gave
wads of notes → th air hostess hoo tried ← but cldnt & brought us out our glasss & a box of cy
chocs so w wer th only 1s on th plane ndulgin. His 2 mobiles kept On & he told me his fathr had  2
days ago (age 68) & he was goin → his funeral & he also showd me a pic of his daughtr on the
screen on 1 of the mobiles. Whn I askd hav u got a d? (as I wantd 2 use his partculars in the journl)
he said he had a BMW. Whn Vaidas xd I meant a business d he gave it 2 me but it was in
russian. Brigita l8r xd his name is givn as Alexander Liepa (a typkal l@vian name) & it says he is
joint ownr of an INTERNATIONAL CHARITY FUND opr8n in Riga, Moscow & St Petersburg! Whn he
left I 4got 2 pick up th whsky bottl in th kontainr in th back of th seat in front whch was still ½ full. Im in
KAUNAS in th HOTEL METROPOLIS (2/8/04. in Vilnius (c Vilnius → Melbourne) I bought a CD of
songs x Danielius Dolskis from th 1930s & 1 of th orchstras on th CD is calld METROPOLIS
(Metropolio in litho meann ‘of th metropolis’)) rght in th centr of town & verythn here is ½ price (beer
3.5 litai 4 a big glass; dlcious meal 4 Lt (2 Lt = 1 oz $ (5/12/08. now tz 1.5Lt = $1 oz)); my magnfcent
room wth a balcony ovr th street just near LAISVĖS ALĖJA is 70 Lt/day inc. breakfst). I spnt th O day
(from 7am) 1drn O th city & esp in th OLD TOWN but Im 2 buggrd 2 giv an a nt & Vaidas has just
turnd up.
3/6/04 (3/12/08. nkrktli n dz Friday nthrjnl – th@s how ovrwlmd  woz th@ wek).
Ssortd trivia: in Kaunas as I was → long th Nemunas som cheeky girls hoo wer ☼bakng calld me
dėdė (unkl) & in Ukmergė wher a row of 8 or so stalls wer tryn 2 sell what lookd like xllnt meat but me
& Vaidas wer th only kustomrs w wer +rssd as berneliai (boys) x a woman trying 2 get our @ntion
from her stall. L8 @ nght in th bars O th fountain th prostitutes (3/8/04. But mayb just cuntry (Hamlet
– Shakespeare?) girls → 2 th big city tryn 2 dress smart from w@chn telly & readn fashion mags
(Vaidas sggestd)) wear high heeld white shoes & white socks ↑ their knees & hav bleachd straw
colourd hair. Som → this hotel 4 th nght I xpekt. Th 1st day I was here I kept seeing x 2 of peopl I had
known of litho thnicity in Melbourne or rptitions of a kractristik curl of th lip or othr physcal feature.
Young men cut their hair short as I do whch xposes their skull shapes whch r like cantelopes
somwhat fl@nd @ th rear (but wth a small bump in it just like mine) as if dsigned 4 sleepn kumfy on
your back (but I cant bcoz of apnea). They can look dorky & mm@ure, possbly causd x
provincialdom or x a l8r age of physcal m@ur8n. I must hav lookd like th@ in2 my 20s (but w age
well!). On th 1st day whn I bought a newsppr @ th suprmrkt on th cornr wth a 100 Lt note th checkout
girl had → bank 2 change it. It happnd again @ 1 of th ritzy bars (wher th barmaids wear white
bloomers th@ protrude O 4 cms undr short red skrts (3/8/04. Did you take the exact measurement with
the world’s longest rod? – helh&z)) near x @ O 11am. Im well off in oz so x local st&rds I m obscenly
rch. In Sydney, 4 nstance, I lways notice how I nd up spendn mor than I xpectd & hav 2 wthdraw xtra
funds from th holeinthwall but here $200 goes a very long way & th supply in th wallet seems nevr 2
dmnsh. Fact is in spite of my airfare & this hotel in th very centr of town I mght  Melbourne havn
spent less than if I had stayd. I could do this evry year (eg 4 summers) @ no cost 2 me. In litho folklor
ther r stories O peopl hoo make a pakt wth th devl whr if they keep 2 th terms of th kontrakt whnvr
they put their h& ↓ pockt they find $$$ in it. What kind of kontrakt hav I made? In thes stories it is
lways th devl hoo is th honst 1 & can b trustd 2 keep his side of th bargn. Humans ntr thm dshonstly
hoping 2 dceiv th othr party & somhow wriggl out from their kommttmnts in th nd. X being in th rich nd
of town I teach myslf not 2 look @ th kneeln womn or think O what it would b like 2 spend my old age
in th city centr on me knees 4 hours each day wth an mpty cup in front of me. Eldrly men hoo beg r
silent & dopt a posture of abjekt humilty wth an vacant look → a spot on th gO O 6 ft in front of their
feet. They r stoopd slghtly 4ward so u can c they r discom4td holdn their cup (or tin can) wthout th
slghtst movemt like statues. Th sort of beggrs w hav in Melbourne would b konsdrd here as sheisters

56
or ntrprneurs & they make huge $s kompared 2 th womn here hoo sell posies of flowrs pickd from th
pastures & hoo dont considr thmslvs as beggrs @ all. Just 4 th rcord, 2rsts hoo → Kaunas dont go →
O th suburbs x thmslvs (or in groups 4 th@ m@r) or evn O th ntric8 network of dirt alleyways
connctng th courtyards thrgh th archways bhind th buildings of ‘old town’. I ddnt c a singl persn I
suspectd of bein 1. Ther r othr things 2rsts would not b xpektd 2 know as ther r no ndiions
(@ least not tangibl 1s – but prhaps in th shadows @ evnn (9.30 – 11.00)) or rmindrs of thm. It
is likely th beautful hotel I m in was ownd b4 th 2nd  war x a  or sh kumpny. Most hotels
(& bars etc) wer. Ther is evry likelihood th ownr (3/8/04. & I 1dr O th singr Danielius Dolskis?)
n up in th Kaunas ghetto. Th knowledge is wth me all th time – I kannot eraze it. As I → O in
th senamiestis (old town) I hav a sens of somthn whch Iv bn tryin 2 but nabl 2 put → words.
Th kind of feeln u mght get if u walkd in2 a buildn wher evrythn is OK & th blood has bn
washd away, th stains paintd ovr, but I dont want 2 xamn it carefully lookn in2 th cracks in th
walls. It wouldnt do 2 sc pe out 4 analysis th debris btween th floorboards.
10/6 /04 (Vilnius 1 (no 47)). Ystrdy evnn as I was eatn t of kepintos bulvės su
voveraitėm (roastd pot8oes wth dlshs lokl chanterelle ) I was joind @ th tabl x 2 elgnt middl aged
ladies (RAMAdNaAnUuStKėIENĖ head of funds dvision 4 th mnstry of grikulture (mob 37068608608)
& a dstinktly pretty rtired ballrina hoos husb& is a staind glass rtist) in a very klassy rstaurnt/café
typklly lok8d in what used 2 b an ndergO cellr & w torkd & d k (3 large hous brewd beers) till 10.30. I
felt I was in th kumpny of th new rulin klass. Danutė was → new age spiritualsm & both wer out on th
town aftr a ftness progrm run x th ballrina (rtired @ 40) hoo ncidntlly had nevr wtnessd n evnt like th
spittng 1 I dskribed in Kaunas (c Melbourne – Kaunas p6) let alone like th 1 x th jail in Šiauliai (c
Šiauliai p7,8). I dk d their offr 2 walk me back 2 Latako g. whr Im  just O th krnr from Pilies g.
whr w wer . Earlier b4 t I had got ch@n in th street 2 Romas (86866-4099) hoo was promotin th
kandid8 2 th ropean parlmt of th librl centr party. He wantd 2 c@ch up 4 a ch@ but I wasnt abl 2 giv
him a numbr as I havnt got 1 here. @ this t I wont get 2 c th sghts (whch r marvllous) as th old
town is @ least x 3 biggr than th Kaunas 1. Its full of 2rsts & peopl look, dress & akt quite dffrntly & its
safe. So far I hav not dtektd any sympthy (or knowledge of 4 th@ m@r) 4 th outkasts of th systm in th
rest of th kuntry xept from th speakr (an xllnt or@r) of th (yes, th real thing! wth skin heads (bkoz
they r it woz xplaind 2 me but I said all young guys in Kaunas & Šiauliai r skin) party. They wer
in boots & rmy trouzrs holdn altrn8 litho & party (red wth a white symbl of 4 †s wth th long nds joind in
th middl nside a O whch they also wor on rmb&s. I was told x an old guy it woz an ncient litho symbl
undr whch they fought @ th battl of Saulė (c Šauliai p5 ) whch they had 1 but th young guy I was
talkn 2 said it was all BULLSHIT) st&n wth legs apart in th klasskl mannr. Pprntly I was lucky 2
witnss th evnt said th young guy hoo had takn fotos coz thes r an xtremst oddity hed nevr cn himslf.
They r all from Šiauliai he said & whn I told him O th troubls & th dspossssd ther he dsmissd thm as
ner-do-wells left ovr from th kommie systm hoo xpekt verythin 2 b don 4 thm. Th or@r, a som young
dmagog, was ccusin thos hoo had sold out th kuntry. This was takin place out th front of th publik
libary whr I had gon 2 leav a lt on a tabl in th litho studies readn room bcoz I had promsd
DRUaMlMeOcND (21/8/04. how O this 4 KOINCIDENCE? – a koupl of days ago (it woz me brthdy –
19/8) Alek lent me a book titld Roots Schmoots x Howard Jacobson (a britsh/litvak wrtr) hoo in
his travls in search of his shnss res 2 lithol& whr his ncestrs kame ←. Jacobson hoo is 1 yr
youngr than me does a parllel journy 2 mine & in th last chptr is in Vilnius & mntions th Gaon of
Vilnius as I do (c Vilnius → Melbourne). W hav both don a O. Alek ddnt know th@ me & Jacobson
hav met on a numbr of ccasions ovr 30 yrs ago in Melbourne whn w wer workn as kashnl reps 4
publishrs b4 Jacobson (I think its th same guy) had made it as a . W had a dskussion 1 evnn in
his fl@ (near Lygon st) whch I found ntrstn but I kant rmmbr what it woz O. Mayb it woz O th roots
thng (4/12/08. l8st such v z From Russia with Lunch – a Lithuanian Odyssey (QUP
2008)  David Smiedt  m vriown homtown vMelbourne. Lithoz t koz ♂z r hoo z 0 &
 thr kleshaz 2m. Don8d  LT ♣ l ri nErrol st. Nth Melb.).) th@ I would (I thght it mor ppropr8
2 leav it (I m also goin 2 leav a koupl of my clocks ticked on poe lts mayb l8r 2day) ther than in
th Vilnius sh libary).Th lt titld VICNET IS UNDER THREAT (IS THE STATE LIBRARY I-
UNION?) had bn  2 me on th steps of th Melbourn St8 Libary x Alek in his kapcity as a union
aktvist. Th libary here is in Gedimino pr. (prospekt) & I went → th nd of it & †d th Neris rivr 2 nspekt &
p in th PROVOSLAVU cerkve (chrch) whch r genrlly mor beautful than th litho & polsh 1s & whr a

57
young man was chantn a readn & dvout & well dressd young peopl as well as old raggd womn wer
kissn ikons, lightn kandls, & swayn & touchn th gO wth their 4heads. On th way back I bought a small
bottl of DAINAVA trauktine @ 40% alk kontnt bcoz I kouldnt find any Čepkeliu in a small bottl but
Danutė rkommnds I should try som BOBELINE @ O 35% & th x-ballrina hoo says shs a gorm
rcommn MALŪNININKU but its very strong mayb ↑ 50%. Th 1st thing I had don whn I rrived in
Vilnius ftr n in was off my Šiauliai & it off 2 H in Melb. On th way 2 th PO I met
KAaRlAgZiIsJA & PIKjTuUrRgNiAtIaTE gain only 1 hour ftr rrivl. I said Id giv his mum (21/8/04. last
☼dy I gave her (sstr of ldr st8smn, livn legend, muzikolgist, & fluxst L&sbergis) Melbourne →
Kaunas & made her promis 2 → it on & 2morrow Ill giv her Šiauliai) a kopy of ths (if H types it)
rd th
whn Im back in Melb. Is it a KOINCIDENCE or not? Or does it hav 2 happn a 3 or 4 time in a row 2
bkum 1 (21/8/04. his dad, Gediminas, said he meets up wth his wife 10 times a day @ home & no 1dr
I kept †n paths wth Algis as all he does is walk O th streets). Oh, yes, I gave my last 3 of  2 th
young guy I had talkd 2 outside th libary koz he spoke xllnt nglsh. I slept in 2day wth th aid of 5mg of
valium & its 10.55am & I havnt left th room yet. (nip) While I rmmbr, th bannr th wer holdn read
NACIJA! TVARKAS! DARBAS! (Nation! Work! Order!) …. 11.03pm. I hav 3 small bottls of trauktine
d up on th tabl: Dainava (whch Im drinkn now @ 40%) Bobelinė (@ 35%) & Malūnininku (@
50% rkommn x th ballrina & Im O 2 giv it a nip just 4 th taste – 2 strong & less tasty). So now Ill test
th Bobeline whch is flavourd, like Čepkeliu x spanguoliu uogos (berries) – v good but not as good as
th Čepkeliu. I spent th O day strolln aimlssly. Rvistd th Bernardinu chrch but p d in nothr xtrordnry
beautful rthdox cerkvė. In rthdox chrchs (1dr if chrch & cerkvė r lnguistklly konnktd & if theyr konnktd
2 th word 4 O since rthdox chrchs r dsigned O a dome like th St8 Libary of Vic?) th ikons & th rvrnce
shown 4 thm most drektly dmonsr8s th@ our konnektion 2 th largr body of whch w r (or r makin
ourslvs 2 b) part is medi8d x othrs. Prhps th ntrmediaries dont lways liv up 2 th mportance of their
role. 8 lunch in UŽUPĖ in a top of th nge rst t ovrlookn th park lookn → th ††† on th hill. Th rst t
kalld ‘Tores’ was rkmmn 2 me last nght x th ladies. I had kalmaru žiedai tešloje, kepinta duona,
rūkytos kiauliu ausys (kalamari Os in paste, fried bread, smoked ) a bokalas of beer (1/2 ltr) &
a glass of Bobelinė 4 23 Lt whch I paid x VISA. I woz celb 10 me mums (hoo kontrbuted $1000 2
me trip though I think Im richr than her) birthday 1 week 2 l8. Also I was cing how th rch nd of town
livs & surprisin meslf @ my vsceral dsgust @ th group of krauts bein very loud as if thy ownd th place
whch they probbly will koz they is th main 4gn nvestors in litho. (Dainava isnt bad x th way). I woz
thinkn how powr lways =s kontrol of space (husb& drives biggr car than wife or has biggr
study @ home evn if th wife also works; if US $ is worth mor yanx kan travl verywhr whras if
Lt is worth littl lithos stay in their small p@ch; xpensiv hellkoptrs &  kontrl th sky so u kan
 peopl rstriktd 2 th sur of th ; as u look @ th hghst spots of Vilnius u will note th@ chrch
versus kapital (skyskraprs) 4 powr; rch men build houses th@ overlook sOngs; & USofA is
most pwrful of all koz it kontrols outr space (27/8/04. & is konsidrn orbitn nukulr in s@lites)
& kan c evry1; oldst kid has largst room; & poorst peopl r hiddn in small spaces in old
houses whr no1 kan c thm. (X th way I kame † 2 mor prizns 1 of whch had a chrch in it & a guard
in a w@ch towr & I nevr heard or saw th priznrs bhind th fence toppd wth zor wire & lektrifide
wire)) koz only rch peopl kan a4d 2  in rst ts like this 1 ovrlookn large views. Gave a kopy of
clocks ticked on 2 a litho poet hoo was otografn his own poe in a shop in Gedimino pr.. He
was a humbl man sayin he  in a tradtionl mannr. I find ther r no Kaunas type skin in Vilnius but
peopl r still srprized if u +ress thm wthout saying ATSIPRAŠAU. I left th 2 nd kopy of clocks ticked
on in th big libary whr I had a yack 2 th libarian hoo said most of thm earn O 700-800 Lt/month. Sh
wants 2 rtire sh said bcoz sh wants 2 liv a bit b4 sh is 2 old 2 njoy it. I paid 17 Lt (30/8/04. c korrektion
in Vilnius (no 2)) foning Vaidases parnts place 2 tell thm whr I woz so he could find me if nee.
They said he was kumn 2 Vilnius 2day but I had no messges @ th door. (I m d k) I got lost in a polsh
speakn part of SENAMIESTIS but I spoke litho & he nswrd in polsh & w ndrstood each othr. Then I d
k som beers in diffrnt lok8ns (1 in a BARAS wth th cellars havn bn turnd in2 a labrynth of rooms as
a lot of bars r doin) & whn I kum home som krauts wer here tryin 2 get cheap kkomodashn but I helpt
th doormn 2 giv thm th flick koz I transl8d 4 him from litho 2 nglsh whch th krauts knew a bit of but not
nough 2 know what was goin on. Anyway they r probbly OK koz I put them → som litho girls hoo
knew a bit of kraut & will probbly help them find an xpnsiv hotl though they had kum here lookn 4 a
cheap 1 – what a cheek! I feel guilty @ not havn told my KABAILA reltivs hoo liv klose x th@ I m here
but I dont want 2 b their prizner just yet. I like it x meslf so mayb ther is sumptn wrong wth me. Also I
58
dont think sh peopl should kum viztn here. This old town is 2 beautful & ther is no vdence of
jerusale & of all th great rgumnts & thinkrs & skolrs th@ wer here 1ce & it would break their ♥s 2 c
(just from th buildns & th s) how it must hav bn. & it breaks mine 2 & Im not evn sh. Tears kannt
wash away blood & all my kryin means nothn bkoz MODERNITY hurtls on → its final dstruktion (but
what I rmmbr is lready dstroyd & so r peopl xept they dont know it koz they iz nkapbl of knowlge
nymor. (21/8/04 u kan tell (if u koulnt b4) th@ I m losn it. H said ovr th fone l8r (c → (no 2)) sh got
very worried ftr readn Vilnius (no 1) but Vaidas hoo met me @ th nd of this reknd I woz OK.
(26/8/04. Of course, Ive only known you about 40 years longer than he has, but he probably knows you
better - helh&z)))
17/6 /04 (Vilnius (no. 2) (no 48)). As I woz layn on me  mid rvo driftn off → what felt
az if it mght hav turnd out 2 b a great sleep whch mght hav kontnued wth a bit of luck thrgh th nght I
had a knock on th door & ŠrIiMmAaNnĖtLaIsS (nom-de-plume: erte) (c Vilnius (no.1) p6) kame in
wth a short story x him: Iš Miesto I Miesta (‘From town (or city) 2 town (city)’). He sed if I really
wantd 2 c th kontrasts I had bn telln him O I should go 2 russia (Rimas had said in russia verythn iz in
Moscow or St Petersburg & th rest iz a dza; Vaidas wants us 2 vzit Kaliningrad (but now u hav 2 get
a viza)). & it kkurs 2 me I m doin what any 2rst in 3 rd  kuntries duz: I m cing what (kontrasts, xtrems,
th mpossbl stuashns) they hav 2 liv wth daily. If I had 2 liv here I 2 would hav 2 stop cing thes things
in ordr 2 keep goin on bkoz 0 kan b don O thm. Prhaps it iz only worth noticin th suffrn O u if u kan do
sumthn O it (this woz Simone Weils dlemma whch sh kould solv only x livn wth & helpn) uthrwize
u bkum dsfunktionl. Or prhaps th best an vrage persn kan do is 2 look ftr himslf so he doznt + 2 th
sum of suffrn in th  wth hiz own. In this way u r not bein sl @ all. Dont wurry O th d ks u r nabl 2
help just make sure u dont nkreas th problm x n → 1 yourslf. But in th kase of  th mthod duznt
prvide a O slution az your numbr will certainly kum up but u kan @ least defr your own (Simone
Weil ddnt) az long az possbl (though I reckn 70 (ie 3 skor & 10) iz a fair no (3/12/08. 3 mor own2
me)) & nsure u dont speed up th@ of uthrs. Th konditions in th prizns in lithol& will mprov now they
hav joind th EU bkoz they will b nspektd x EU rthrities & ovr time will b 4ced 2 komply wth rglashns.
Prhaps I woz bein ovr drma in dskribin th VALKATA @ th cemtry – he woz probbly just tryin 2 sell
me thhe pulld out of th rubbsh. Ftr erte left I went 2 th nearst KAVINE (café/bar) & read th story he
gave me az I 8 rye bread fried in garlik & d k ½ ltr (500 they kall it (if u x BRENDIS ALITA u ask 4 50
or 100 but most go 4 100) of beer. It woz good. It rmin me of th style bein uzed x up & kumn 
hoo get featured in Granta magzine. Woz back here & in  @ 11.30. Its 8.55 & Im off 2 hav sum
breaky & read th ppr. TŽaIuŽrYiSus is turnn up @ 12. …. 10.40. I had kava LATTE (4.00 Lt) TUNU
salotos (7.40 Lt) Apelsinu sultys, 200ml (2.90 Lt) ie. TARPINE SUMA 13.90 Lt. SUMA 13. 90 Lt.
GRYNAIS 200.00 Lt. GRAŽA 186.10 Lt. I know now why it woz a mstake 2 x a nwsppr in Kaunas wth
a 200 Lt bill early in th mornn. U r n th girl a note th@ rprznts 2 weeks wages 4 her ie in oz it would
mean a note of ovr $1000. Read in th ppr (spplied x th kavine & savd me buyn 1 4 3 Lt) a survey
shows 10% hav dci → 4 work lswhr (mainly → great brtain, irel&, & spain whr they r kompetn not
wth lokls but mmgrnts from uthr kuntries in simlar stuashns) & nuthr 18% knsdrn →. Ovr 200000 r
workn ovrcs now. 18 chchnians tried 2 † th bordr → lithol& a kupl of days ago & ystrdy ½ doz pakis
wer cght – both groups kumn † the litho/bielorus bordr. Thr iz an rtkl O th f4rt germn soldier
rgnizashns r makin 2 lok8, klean up & maintain (dont uze nuthn metl koz †s r gettn stoln ← chrchs &
2 days ago 1 was stoln ← a chrch I had bn in on th day) gravesites of germn (or 2 mark thm) soldiers
& priznrs of war from th 2nd war. Pparntly lithol& & germny signd a blatral greemnt on th m@r in 1996
(8/9/04. a simlr greemnt has bn made wth zrael). Rturnn 2 th topk I td out wth. Wh@ ftn happns
whn peopl hav d thmslvs not 2 c thos hoo suffr iz th@ wthout realizin it they akt in ways
whch kntribute 2 their p . Also sually thos hoo hav bn ↑ x Ostances giv thmslvs th kredt (ie
they think they r smartr, or mor dlgent, or mor morl, or mor dservn in th eyes of govts or god)
4 their stuashn & klaim th@ thos hoo hav bn thrown ↓ r thmslvs 2 blame (ie 4 bein old
fashiond (or just old) or lazy from habits 4md in th kommie era; or bein russki d ks; or bein
lazy valkatos; or bad studnts or mmorl etc) but Id take KRISTINA IŠ VILNIAUS (c Vilnius
(no.1) p10) head of th girl wth th lap any day. & a day will kum whn thos hoo hav bn ↑ will
b ↓ & thos hoo hav bn thrwn ↓ will b ↑ bov thm. @ least its what I hope (& its only 4 thm Im 
(16/9/04. prtntious nonsens – posture of rligious middlmn) koz th uthrs lready hav mor than they
dzerv)…..

59
 24/6 /04 (→ (no 1) (no 49)). 5.25 am. Woke up & msread th on my on th desk nxt 2
th  & hav had a showr. Found a slip of ppr in th back pockt of me trouzrs wth th words of a song on
it. I rmmbr now I put it in whn I listnd 4 while 2 a sssion of songs from a prtkulr rgion on a s@urdy.
Here they r: oi seniai seniai pas motule buvau, / vai ir užėlė cie vieši kelaliai žaliu žolali //
vai aisiu aisiu, žaliu žoly minsiu / aš pas sovo radnuju motuly viešnagėn aisiu. // oi,
motula mano, oi širdela mano, /rinkai, rinkai man jaunai berneli ir neišrinkai // oi dukrela
mano, oi viešnela mano, / vaikščinėjai kožnan kermošėlin, raikėj išsirinkc. // motula
mano, širdela mano, / jauna buvau, menkas razumėlis, raikėjo patarc. // žalia rūtelė
pilkam purvely, / o aš jauna, motulės dukrelė, dzidzam vargely…. 4.30. Vaidas iz workn on a
5 ft woodn skulptura kalld BOBA (old womn); Miglė iz drawin; th dog (Mirta (blongnn 2 Tony (c
Melbourne → Kaunas p9)) iz huntn 4 fleas mung her teats; Brigita iz w@chn Vai-das work; I had a
dip in th spring fed watr of th Šešuola (rvr) bordrn th SODYBA. Got here x bus (ddnt hear from
KAaRlAgZiIsJA) 2 Ukmergė & then a minor bus 2 th gravl road th@ kums 2 wthn O 1 or 2 k of here.
Az I woz → long th gravl road & then th wheel track † th meadows in flowr (many violntly blue) shftn
th heavy suitkase ← 1 shouldr → uthr (kould c th chmny wth th stork on th nst ← a long way) it
seemd 2 me I had cn many such scenes of a lone man → (mayb 2 his home vllage) in films. I woz
glad th 3 or 4 bslutely blotto d ks (sum uthrs smelt of akrid alhokol (like metho) th way guys do whn
theyv bn drnkn 4 days & then dry out 4 a few hours (from alhokolik sweat)) ddnt get out wth me @ th
isol8d roadside bus stop Jienušiške. I spent O 2½ hrs in Ukmergė whr I sor a chrch wth a litho in it
(ystrdy I spottd 1 in a side chapl of th ARKIKATĖDRA-BAZILIKA in Vilnius). I hav dci th@ whn th@
hppns I nvr step nside it gain. L8r I nearly sh@ meslf. Th groggn on & bad livn haz wreckd me guts
or mayb I hav a bug. Th toilt in a 1 room (typkl) bar woz in use & I made th mstake of rfusin 2 pay 3 Lt
4 a taksi 2 th bus st8n whch woz nly 10 mns way & then I had th mergncy & yes! it woz a real
mergncy (like I rmmbr from childhood & Montaigne tells us 2 keep in mind th@ they happn 2
& kings & very wize peopl) & I had 2 duck BHIND th nearst hedge (1 metr from th path (in th
main street (9/10/04. l8r (c Vilnius → Melbourne) I learnt th@ in soviet daze it uzed 2 b kalld Vlado
Žviblio g. ftr Vaido unkl)) & barely got th daks down & woz skrabbln 4 me toilt roll (bottm of my lrger
day pack)) & it all gushd out @ th same time az I sor th side of th shop I woz nxt 2 wer strght out
@ me in th shrubbry. This woz a speed job & it may not hav bn kompletd I thght & @ th bus stashn
toilt (of th SHITHOLE style whr it lso ssumes u hav your own ppr so make sure (very, very sure) 2
lways karry sum) whr u squat (or ½ st& - not sure of th best teckneek) low if u dont want 2 eyeball
your nghbr I nspktd me pants & ndrpants & thght I woz mayb gunna hav 2 b sittn & stnkn nxt 2 sum1
in th bus (th@ goes Kaunas → Molėtai) but it wldnt hav m@rd koz of th alhokol fumes. Cest la vie.
Early in th mornn wth th streets mpty whn I woz goin → bus stashn in Vilnius I woz lookn (wth me
biggr day pack on & pulln me suitkase) @ me map & a yth drssd in black kame 2 ask if I nee nythn
(I spose he thght I woz kumn not goin) & he turnd out 2 b a TOUT 4 STRIP KLUBS (etc) & his fathr
had murdrd his muthr whn he woz 2 but he lso  soon aftr so he woz an orphn (500 Lt/month if u r
studyn) & turfd out of skool koz he woz a problm kid @ 15 & he had no pprs & woz proud he had
pickd up sum nglsh livn on th streets etc but his litho woznt much bettr & he would soon get a passprt
but woz fraid of → uthr kuntries 2 try gain (no skills) & though wiry hiz shake woz strong & I ddnt
take out my lt 2 take down th nfo koz I ddnt want 2 b like a journo (lso I hav rlized I kannot uze th
bkoz such an akt & @itude nvolvs a dstancin of yourslf from th bjekt (rektn a barrier)) & I trustd him
(lso gave him 1.30 Lt) & it bkame pparnt 2 me he wantd a listnr not a 2rst. He sed it woz tuff on th
street not like in uthr kuntries (he mght b wrong) & he ddnt like th work he woz doin but he had nuthn
in Šiauliai, not evn a friend, whch woz whr he woz ←. I do not like his chances 4 th future & I wishd
him well & I meant it & he wishd me well & whn I woz 20 yards way he kalld out thanks & wishd me
good luck (LAIMĖS) & I hav 2 stop meslf from kryin az I . He iz smart & he iz strong & I think he
may kill sum1 1 day bkoz thr iz 0 4 him. He iz 18. I think he kan b saved nly x a persn.
1/7/04. Th sentnce whch kept kumn 2 me thrght th nght woz I M NOWHERE (NIEKUR).
Thr iz a pome on th word x Gunter Eich (6/10/04. I woz mstakn. LfOrVaEnCkE rtrievd it 2day; it iz
titld IECUR & iz O th livr, mayb. Mmry!) I kept n of th film Death in Venice. I  it iz based on a x
Thomas Mann (I havnt read nythin of hiz or x any of th  I listd ystrdy). SdPeInTnEiRsI showd
me a video of it thgh I ddnt pay much @ntion. A germn  iz trappd in Venice x th outbreak of plague
& I m in Preila. Peopl kum here 2 get way ← their rdnary lives (main purpose of 2rst rzorts?). It katers
2 germns, lithos & swedes & iz nlike any of th places they kum ←. I realized durin th nght th@ Iv bn
60
NOWHER th O munth Iv bn in lithol&. W dvelop habts (very1 iz w@chn sokkr) O whch w stabilize our
lives & r@ionalize thm wth hgh soundn deologies. But nun of my habts wer 4md here az I woz
only 3 whn I left. What I rtaind nstead wer my parnts yearnns 4 their yth. I spent mor time in
DP kamps & its whr all but 1 of my earliest mmries r from. My habts wer 4md in australia. Why
m I in this dlapid8d (very feature of it iz shonky & th O iz byond rpair whch iz why it iz bein llowd 2
dsnteg t ndr th bord suprvsion of karetakers hoo thmslvz r dsnteg 10 remnnts of th systm)
soviet era buildn nstead of wth H & th kids O hoom my life haz takn shape & hoo lov me? Why m I
not in Hs rms? I hav not had th kinds of ‘roots’ xpriences rportd x uthrs hoo hav rd. Nstead it haz bn
mphathized 2 me th@ I st& 2 th side (az if I ddnt lready know) obzrvn & passn kommnt on thos hoo r
SOMWHER (eithr x choice or trappd but lwayz blievn th lnguage of it). But like th  in Venice I kant
leav az my r f is not till th nd of th munth. Last nght az I woz O 2 go 2  Brigita & Miglė → past th
& w went ↑ 2 thr room whr w  th food & d k th t whch Brigita lwayz haz on . Vaidas sez Romas
(hoo pikd us up in Riga (c Melbourne → Kaunas p2) blew up th ngin of his kar nly 50 ks out of
Kaunas on th way 2 an mportnt mrkt/festvl in norway. It woz packd wth items (he iz a ceramicist) he
nee 2 sell. He woz not abl 2 get a rfund on th ferry from Klaipėda 2 norway whch he had bookd in
dvance. Th only + iz th@ if it had brokn down in norway th rpair kosts would hav bn > th value of th
kar & he would hav had 2 leav it. Here hll get it back on th road. Vaidas reckns this iz th story of
lithuanians & llust td it wth various a nts of his own selln trips → Berlin & such. I kame back @
mdnght but doubt if I slept > a few hours. But thr iz on th horizon – th sky iz blue 4 a change ….
Urvinė Antis (Tadorna tadorna) iz a very showy large duck like an oz duck. Nly a few duzn breed
in th kuntry, mostly x th cside. Thr iz a pair of thm on th 4shor wth a dnzn ducklns. Ystrdy I sor a
Kuoduotoji zylė (Parus cristatus), a tiny krestd  whch iz 1 of th most frequent  in pine/fir 4sts ….
8/7/04 (→ (no 2) (no 50)). 2.00 pm. Last nght w →  (th prvious nght Vaidas had → 2
take Brigita & Migle → Vilnius airprt @ 3am) early @ 10.30 & 4 th 1 st time in 6 weeks I slept as I shld.
I could tell th@ my adrnln flow had finally switchd off as I felt a pleasnt ache all ovr & on ccassions a
trembln in me  & chin & neck as if from a rlease. It woz a cold nght & I → 4 a leak x 5 (Bill Klintn
had askd Monika howd she like it wth an old guy hoo → th toilt evry ½ hour & sh said as long as your
th prsdnt u can → th toot evry 10 mins) → y nght coz I 4got my special pisspot in th Jonušas
kabn in Nida (c → (no 1) p12). Th sleep I had bn gettn wth th temazepam (10mg) & th valium
(5mg) had me wakn up bright & nerge wthout switchn off th drnln. Its takn th special @mosfere of
th SODYBA & th calm ways of Vaidas (hoo is chisln away 2 @ach th kasas (plaits) 2 th BOBA (old
womn) he is carvn) & somthn (dont want 2 sound ‘new age’) th@ still rmains in th TROBA & th 
(LOVA) Im usin of its 4mr (Vaido dad & gr&fathr) lives. I ddnt wake up till 9 & ddnt finlly get out of 
till 10 coz Vaidas was up (makn koffee) but I reckn if I had stayd (still achy) I would hav gon 2 sleep
again. My left kidny whch has bn feeln th s (praps from eatn all th ☼td/smokd in Nida/Preila) is
also mprovd. (☼ is out, mozzies r bitin, stork (just checkd wth th bnokulrs) is st&n on th side of th nst
on th chmny & th  of 2 young 1s r visbl). Aftr breakfst w drove (th car is goin beautfully now & w
drove past th place wher th guy had palmd off th dud worn out & crackd rkonditiond tyre whch had
Vaidas drivn @ 130ks/hour (eg. on the trip Kaunas → Nida) 2 void th vibrashn & could hav d us if it
had blown all bcoz of 1 dshonst dude hoo made 30 Lt xtra profit x noticin w wouldnt check coz w wer
d k (what els can u do on a wet day in Ukmergė?)) 2 Ukmergė 2 x a new blade 4 th LITOVKA (whch
l8r well go ovr & mayb ask Tony (Antanas Grybas (& ther r non in th 4st yet)) 2 sharpn), som black
currnts from an old womn in th mrkt outside th MEDIA (sprmrkt) whch I 8 & rmmbrd th taste from
chldhood, & matchs (w had only 4 left), cucumbrs, appls, coffee, & specially onions & beer & a littl
Čepkeliu 4 2nghts (if it dosnt  but its just nice & breezee now wth large blue p@chs (Vaidas says
r u havn a beer? & I said yes giv me th kvietinis (Baltas (white) alus (13/10. since rn → Melb. Iv
dskuvrd u kan x many white (wheet) beers here & my favrit iz HOEGARDEN whch kosts $6.50/glass
@ th Transport Public Bar in Fed )) @ 4.3 %) of sky). Thn w drove → th 4st whch is bein trashd (c
→ (no 1) p4) 2 look 4 th rght shaped of wood 4 th KASAS 4 th BOBA (babushka) wher w ddnt
find any . Th well has plenty of wtr now & it would take only a coupl of days like this 2 dry out th
track ovr th field & th 4sts a bit so here is keepn fingrs †d…. (I can dfnitly say ther r 3 baby STORKS
(Baltasis Gandras (Ciconia ciconia)) as they r all vzibl st&n on th side of th nst now) …. A few
dsknnktd bsrvashns. Th trashd 4st is th worst Vaidas has cn – it ddnt happn in th past. Evrythin u can
gathr in a 4st is sold x old womn in th mrkt very cheaply eg. žemogės (v tasty tiny ncestrs of
strawbrries), flowrs, grybai ( ). A womn may hav only a few jars of a singl produkt eg. w paid 1.4 Lt
61
4 a jarful of black currnts (JUODI SERBENTAI) ths mornn from a womn hoo had mayb 5 kls of thm &
0 els. 2day a lot of peopl r cuttn new hay (ŠIENAUJA) or spreadn out th hay cut earlier 2 try 2 dry it
out. Things lways look bettr from a dstnce (like 2rsts c it) – th flowrn gardns (peonies (I call thm
PINAVIJOS & Brigita calls thm BIJUNAI whch Milda Grybas ( ) xplaind is th city word 4 thm) r
finshng), in evry yard in th kuntryside but whn u look closer u c th r aged & will bear littl
fruit. Th large s of units in th cities r made from cemnt whch may st& 4 nuthr 100 yrs but th fittns
(doors, frames, floors, lektricty, plumbn) r r@shit & thgh peopl got thm cheap @ librashn they cant
4rd 2 pay 4 th heatn in wntr let lone maintain thm. Here in th VIENKIEMIS w hav no radio or ppr but
evn whn Iv bn readn Lietuvos Rytas in Kaunas I m mazed x how littl th rest of th  hardly xists 4
lithos xpt 2 go & earn $$s in – I spose they hav mor than nuff of their own prolbms. Iv cn f of swifts
(Čiurlys (Apus apus)) on sevrl ccasions (eg. @ Traku pilis) on th trip & ♪ in th  th@ whn they fall
2 th gO they cant take off again. Whn I had a shit (2/2/09. r li kritk frnd vmn  me th@tz r
TROPE ( thwerd) nm (another way of saying that you’re a shitologist) so  nsrt ths  The
Sydney Morning Herald, Jan 10-11 p6: “A cure that rivals the disease ¶ No illness is
funny – except Tourette’s syndrome at a Baptist revival – but Clostridium difficile
infection deserves special sympathy, especially considering the cure. ¶ The ailment is
caused when antibiotics wipe out the germs in the gut. Through the wisdom imparted by
TV commercials, our brains, if not our bellies, can distinguish good germs from bad. The
good ones smile; the bad ones frown and growl. ¶ The result of the infection is diarrhoea
or, paradoxically, constipation. Usually patients recover naturally after antibiotic
treatments finish. But not always. Sometimes an infection persists and C. difficile
bacteria flourish. Which is when patients must contemplate a treatment best not
discussed over breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. Or, for most of us, ever. ¶ The cure
involves what decorum best leaves to medical terminology: faecal transplants. ¶ For
many, that should be more than ample information. For those who cannot help but crane
their necks at accidents on the freeway, it gets worse. ¶ The transplant is destined for
the stomach. Via a tube. Routed through the nose. ¶ Moreover, the “source material”
needs to come from a person in the same environment and who carries a
complementary mix of germs in his or her own digestive tract, ideally a loved one. Little
wonder marriage vows do not mention this as a subclause of “in sickness and in
health”.” (So when the beloved says “You give me the shits!” it’s really an expression of gratitude) ) in th
4st an (22/10 givs me a xuse 2 nklude an ssay I wrote O 5 years ago @ th strt of this prjkt:
(and other dimensions) “ “But they are !” was my son’s parting goodbye. I think we had
been discussing semiotics. I had been explaining how , being almost b d, converse
by chemical puffs and sp which they pick up on receptors covering their bodies.
Perfumed signals and seductive pheromones is all they can know. A simplification, of
course, but everything is. I was making a comparison to the human world of impressions
which we weave into the fabric of the reality that we wrap around ourselves. Its
tempting to conceive our sensory world as packages of information processed by our
intelligence to initiate action. A very airy thing, really, depending on language and
consensus about meaning. (paragraph) “But they are !” It had a ring of conviction that
made me suspect a truth. I pondered the implications through the week. Was he
pointing to a flaw in the analogy? True, can’t see themselves whereas we do. But
that doesn’t invalidate the comparison for if an had the eyesight of a human it would
have to process what it saw through an b. Similarly a b d person finds his world
only qualitatively different from the rest of us, if we are to believe what he says. So it
wasn’t that and I waited anxiously for the next Sunday B.B.Q. When I put it to him he
agreed. What he had meant was simply: (paragraph) “But they are : they’re
magnificent.” (paragraph) It’s true. have a contraptional beauty. They are jointed
marvels with a mechanical elegance second to none. Their beauty stands up well to
close inspection through an electron microscope. They are solid as grit and utterly
ferocious in the defence of their tribal home. Their soldiers are peerless warriors who
can snap an enemy in half with a massive pincer. They carry their  to ceremonial
burial grounds and are gentle in the care of underground creches of nursing young. They
work tirelessly on prodigious excavations and are good at building levee banks against

62
flood. They carry monstrous loads that should crush them. They send out raiding parties
to plunder neighbouring cities. But they cannot protect themselves against the pale
parasitic , however feeble and spindly legged, which infiltrate their underground
metropolises simply by imitating the chemical markers of the host. (paragraph) However
alluring the pungent mists that go to make up its world the solid, segmented itself is
much more marvellous. Let’s pursue the analogy for an insight into our own nature. The
reality that we clothe ourselves in is woven from language, signs, value systems, media
projections and the like. It is as intangible as the ’ though much more complex. By
comparison then how much more extraordinary and substantial must we be than them.
But we cannot even imagine it. (paragraph) We are able to see the beauty of the
because we observe it from a godlike perspective of another, I assume greater, reality.
Sadly even the smartest is incapable of penetrating the aerosol vapours to see itself
as we see it. Likewise we cannot see ourselves. The beachcomber who gazing at the
imprint of the of Man Friday could deduce from it his weight and height, the colour
of his eyes, the hang of his loincloth, the worried crease across the brow of his wife on
another island as she waits for his return, cant deduce the source of his own
intelligence. The magician who putting his to the ground can distinguish from all the
steps he can hear in the orient those of his apprentice returning with the charmed
amulet cannot divine the source of his own power. (paragraph) We cannot infer our true
form because being weavers of the cloth of our reality we are trapped by the senses we
use to thread it. (paragraph) **** (paragraph) Now here on the shore of Lake Gairdner, whose
dry salt surface stretches away northwards for a hundred kilometres I marvel at its exp
. The crust looks like white ice and is up to fifty centimetres thick. It lays over a bed of
viscous black mud which never dries out. Suspended through the mud are perfect cubes
of salt crystal. Where the crust is thinner you can see through it enough to discern
myriad dark patches stretching away to the horizon. Each is a colony of . At the
centre of every patch is a tiny hole in the crust either to let the out or more probably
to let air in. The live permanently in the ooze. What happens to them when the lake
floods is a mystery.”) bit me on the PRICK. Youll b pleasd 2 know, honey, th salvashn jane
(p@rsns curse; riverina blue-bells) or a very close rl@v r in flowr. 2 birds Im seein whch I also c in
Melbourne (ntrocd) r goldfinchs (Dagilis (Carduelis carduelis)) & greenfinchs (Žaliukė (Carduelis
chloris)). Sky is clear this evnn. LAUŽAS ( ) is burnn. Iv got a glass of Čepkeliu & Vaidas has a
stubby of Švyturys (th 1 wth th bottl top in litho tricolor & olympik Os) beer. He says his gr&ma 
wthout havn cn th c. His gr&ad saw Lenin giv a speech in St Petersburg (Petrograd in litho
fonetik rus, l8r Leningrad) & he was wearn a cylindr or top hat not a proltarian type cap like he
is lways dpiktd in films nkorrektly his gr&ad said. In Brežnevs days (Vaidas says) th ½ hr news
bulltns lways dvoted 20 mins 2 what he don & th politburo, 5 mins 2 sport, & 5 mins 2 th weathr. Ther
was a rus sayn (I giv it in ruski litho fonetik ) VSIO O NIOM I NIEMNOŽKO POGODI whch in nglsh
says “All O him & a bit of air”. In Andropovs n he ntrocd a law u wernt llowd 2 b @ a movie
theatr rin workn hours (9-5) wthout an xcuse. On 1 ccasion when an nspektion (from Moscow) took
place in Kaunas th nspektors wer pleasntly srprsd 2 c th piktur theatrs mpty but no1 told thm it was
bcoz evry1 was home w@chn ŽALGIRIS (th ace basktball team in litho based in Kaunas) on telly
playn a big m@ch gainst a russki team. 9.45 pm. Th ☼ is settn but thers still O ¾ hour of left.
15/7 /04. Th room is bov th DISKO whch keeps thump thumpn in2 th mornn hours. Went
2  l8 & woke up very early. I m dskovrin th@ in lithol& as in oz I funktion bettr in th cuntryside wher
at least I get som sleep. But ther is mor 2 it . As wev bn drivn → & ← Kaunas Iv bn gettn tantalizn
glimpss of wh@ seemnly r xtrordnarly beautful 4sts & keep bein rmin its in such nvrnmnts I m most
@ & feel most nspired. Kaunas has mptied out bcoz rin th summr holdays very1 goes 2 their
SODYBAS & othr rurl rtreats. On th way here ← Ukmergė w wer passn kids selln strwbrries (tiny),
MELYNES (ncstrs of bluebrries), & . I think I could spend my ntire holdays in th 4sts but I would
need 2 hav a car or find som1 =y ntrstd whch wont happn. Thrwise I hav lost th dsire 2 c new things
& 4 th last 2 weeks ntnd 2 rlax → routine. In the old town s of Vilnius & Kaunas I feel quite @ home
now, lmost like a lokl. Ftr I rins out my t-shirt & ndrpants whch r soakn in th bath I m goin 2 get a copy
of Lietuvos Rytas & read it ovr a pl8 of ŠALTIBARŠČIAI (a cold borsch servd wth a side pl8 of 2 or
3 hot spuds) followd up wth a kaffe …. Vaidas suggstd th@ if u go → muzeum just 1ce youv
63
lready spoilt th O day. I greed wth him & I sppose its bekoz x doin it youv llowd yourslf 2 b
nfluencd (& shown an nklinashn 4) x 2nd md8d xpriences (kan hear th stunt  gain) as if th
here & now (whch is an xprssn (t s4mashn) of th past b4 your very eyes) wer not nuff. But it
kkurs 2 me th@ I m a xampl of an evn biggr prfrnce 4 2ndry xprience bkoz I m a voracious knsumr of
. Nothr thght I had 2day was th@ ther may b mor beggrs in Melbourne than Kaunas but as a lokl Iv
d myslf not 2 c thm. (th clouds r gathrn but here in rm 310 its ovrheatd). 1 major dffrnce (I said 2 V)
btween here & in oz is th@ in lithol& th lives of rtists & such is much mor intm8 since its a much
smallr place (& poplashn) & th mjorty of thm gathr 2gthr in th SENAMIESČIAI of Kaunas & Vilnius
whr they r likely 2 bump → each othr in Laisvės Alėja/Vilniaus g-ve & in Pilies g-ve thrgh whch streets
they r sure 2 → a coupl of times/day. I feel it would b easy 4 me 2 bcom part of th scene in a very
short but I dont think I would want 2 b subjectd 2 th group mores of an ntm8 gathrn of th like min. I
 th ŠALTIBARŠČIAI in a kavine O th krnr wher they playd nglsh muzak & servd CHIPS wth th soup
nstead of boild spuds wth dill (KRAPAI) leavs – wont go ther gain! Ystrdy V said I could walk † lithol&
if I ddnt let on (I could get way wth it) I was from ovrcs & aktd as an xntrik  (28/8/04. No acting
required – helh&z) …. Th street vndrs r makin a comback & th pruvians r out front Aušros Gimnazija (&
mum, I did vist th skool & spent quite a bit of time tryin 2 lok8 your name (wth th help of th libarian)
mong th llumni but I ddnt). My fone calls r gettn xpnsiv. Whn I went 2 fone Egle (x Žižis) I dskvrd I had
left my kard wth 100 kredts still on it in th booth @ Ukmergė whn I made th n 4 Metropolis. Bght a
new 50 kredt kard 4 9 Lt. Troubl is my hearin 4 volume is dtrior8n so I dont hear th warnn tone. Was
1drn why I hadnt cn any mor ncidnts such as I saw in th 1 st koupl of weeks (eg. c Melbourne →
Kaunas p6 & Šiauliai p7). M I rstriktn → so as 2 void thm? Was thinkn O Ritas use of th litho term
IVARDINTI (ie 2 assign a name (VARDA) 2). Its stongr (mor aktiv, gesturl) & mor ndiktiv of th process
than th nglsh terms ‘2 name’ or ‘2 label’ O whch Iv  what I konsidrd 2 b a koupl of my bettr ssays
(16/10. they wer  O this time of year in 1999 & r kollektd in a titld Meditation on Lake
Gairdner (c 29/4/04 – 1/5/04 p1). X nkludin thm here I m kontinuin th process of kompletin a O
whch bgan 5 yrs ago. I sspkt this series of rtkls on lithol& may b th nd of my  or of a majr fase in it.
Here they r: LABELS (the will to power) “Ants communicate by chemical signals, a different
pheromone for each task: one for status, another to mark a trail, to warn of danger, give
direction to food, a passport into the queen's chamber, marker for particular colony etc.
etc. Each chemical label is like one of our words or sentences. A single ant becomes
disoriented and soon dies without being guided by the language of the colony. Wilson,
the world authority, describes beautifully how parasitic ants exactly imitate the chemical
signals of their hosts in order to infiltrate their cities. The parasites are usually
ludicrously different in size and every other way yet the victims are unable to recognise
them. Because for practical purposes they are b d, reality for ants consists only of
chemical labels. They scurry, carry monstrous burdens, groom the queen, rip each other
apart all for the whiff of a pheromone. (paragraph) Some scientists view humans likewise,
as vehicles for transferring information by codes, language, labels, etc. Others fear
these robots cause as much havoc to society as the parasitic ants do to the colony of
their hosts. (paragraph) We shape our individual identities by labelling ourselves. The
amount of power we assert over others depends on the labels we accrue. If I am a
policeman I can arrest you. I don't even have to be a real one as long as I can convince
you I am. A stolen uniform helps. A citizen's arrest doesn't work nearly as well I
discovered when I took a guy into the station and the cops threatened to charge me
with kidnap. (paragraph) Art is a label. The official variety is accredited by a combination of
critics, publishers, the marketplace, curators, teachers, fellow artists, sponsors etc. Or it
can be self designated (on false pretences?). Art is strange that way. There seems to be
a mysterious symbiosis between the two kinds. A lover's poem carried next to the heart
causes palpitations but one read in a barely registers. Gifts personally crafted are
treasured possessions but the same objects hang cold and sterile on gallery walls.
Superannuation funds pay millions for the gallery product. Objects are delineated by
being labelled. Otherwise they cannot be subdivided and owned. Or bought and sold.
Logos are labels. You mark what is yours (trunks and lampposts belong to ). You
know the owner by the brand. Artists endorsing the logos of multinationals in order to
gain sponsorship end up being owned by them. They sell their souls for a pittance.
64
(paragraph) **** (paragraph) Once we could only grunt but swung through the with the
greatest of ease. Then we learnt to label everything. Now look what we've got: motor
cars, aeroplanes, skyscrapers, smart weapons. The whole world.” & NAMING IT (what’s in a
name?) “If you step in it, no matter what you call it, it sticks to your boots. A rose by any
other name smells just as sweet. Or does it? (paragraph) A friend of mine remembers how
when he was a kid in new york his sister got to hate the family staple of peanut butter &
jam sandwiches and wouldn't eat any more. Peanut butter and jam are not only
convenient but also a health food. So his parents simply renamed them Mickey Mouse
sandwiches and she ate them with relish. (paragraph) Perhaps we name things in order to
transform them. Or to give them shape so we can point at them. Or so we can see them
separately. Little children and some lunatics see clouds and sky, flowers and , green
green grass all around as they were before they were named. A hazy, shapelessness
with beautiful things floating in and out. William Blake (quoting someone else) wrote
that if the doors of perception were opened we would see everything as it is - infinite.
(paragraph) Certain heretics claim that god's name isn't really god. They argue (correctly I
hope) that to name is to limit so as to gain control. They accuse the pope and his college
of theologians of high-jacking god. Others would have us believe that god has a secret
name which he guards jealously to preserve his power. Scholars waste their lives (risking
their eyesight) searching for it, hoping to gain ownership of the world. (paragraph) ****
(paragraph) According to the bible to look on the face of the all powerful one is to be b
ded (amazing what can make you go b d!). Paul was lucky not to get injured when he
fell off his . He spent the rest of his life organising the o ial church.” ). Here r som of
my rules 4 givn: Iv bn tippn buskrs & beggrs =y; aluminium is worth 0 & just gets in th way so u must
get rid of it (ie 1, 2, 5 cent koins); in Melbourne a spastik (holds 1 bhind his ) koori asks 4 $5 & I
saw a guy @ th Errol in Errol st. Nth Melb. giv him $10 whch =s 20 Lt ie 2000 litho cents. So u must
also giv way your bronz koins whch cum in values of 10,20 & 50 cents; I also giv b4  so as 2 aid
me dgstion. It kkurs 2 me th@ mayb th hardr livn kondtions in lithol& bring out th best in som people
esp rtists. V reckns this is 1 of th themes of Tarkovskis film RaUnBdLrYeOiV. Prhaps its a necssry
kndition 4 eg . In wealthy kuntries w r subsumed in nsipd bl&nss. I got thrgh 2 Egle on th fone but
sh is in Druskininkai lookn 4 work & Juozas is @ his SODYBA. Told her 2 tell him I m in town 4 2 or 3
days. Rang Alvinga (c Melbourne → Kaunas p9) wth hoom Ill hav t in the old town
(SENAMIESTIS). W r meetn @ 6 x th main ntry → ŠV. apaštalu Petro ir Pauliaus arkikatedra-
bazilika. Th hot watr (pumpd from cntrl lokashns in Kaunas) pipes whch ovrheat th room in summr &
prtrude from th wall in th toilt r great 2 hang your clothes on 2 dry. Im goin 2 take som Čepkeliu ← wth
me 2 Melbourne …. I 8 (@ Berneliu Užeiga) trottrs wth som kind of chik ps & spirgai (fried bits
of ) all in f@ & then fried bread & garlik on Alvingas rkmmndashn as food 2 go wth beer. Now I feel
krook & my skin is greezy. Sh said what hav u missd doin & I said seein 4sts so 2mrrow shes  @ 10
2 take me & her brothr (c Melbourne → Kaunas p4) 2 spend th day in 1. On th way here sh took
me 2 c th 3rd floor fl@ sh & her husb& (in New York) own in th very  of old town. Her brothr was ther
doin som rnovashns. Her fancy VW (modrn beatl) was parkd in th ‘yard’. 1 thing Iv found O my poor
litho rl@vs is th@ they hav mor proprty than I xpektd. x oz st&rds they r asset rch & $$s poor a bit
like me & H will be whn she rtires nxt year. Vaidas just  2 say w could go 2morrow evnn 2 th
Ignalina region of lakes & 4sts 2 his brothrs place & kum back → here or → Rimeisei on ☼dy so I
greed. Iv just rung Alvinga 2 ask her if w could leav my gear @ her place rin th day so I wouldnt hav
2 pay 4 th days kommdashn @ Metropolis & pick it up in th evnn so I kan meet Vaidas @ 7pm @
Berneliu Užeiga. It was a g day & its drizzln outside now. Iv takn a 10 mg tablt of temazepam & m
O 2 take 5 mgs of valium.
22/7 /04 (Vilnius → Melbourne (no 51)). (30/10. bkoz its th last of my rtkls ← lithol&,
kompletn O, Im ^ th 1st of th ssays I wrote whn I bgan n out my . It woz th t of a journey →
bskure, nsgnpostd path whch iz nly s ly mor dscernbl in rtrospkt. I woz well long th way b4 I knew I
woz on it & now I suspkt it may b kumn 2 an nd. Im due 4 a change of stroke. Prhps I should b p n
(makin myslf small) not  (whch iz xbitionst). I note th@ I pasted it → my journal on 18/4/99. It iz titld
ART (a 3 – letter word): “ The world’s a stage & every man a player – Bill Shakespyras. If actors
are artists then we are all artists. Some more so than others; & there are various kinds.
(paragraph) On the countless number of continuums that we could use as metaphors to

65
talk about art I like the one where we spread artists along the line: decorative ……………
….challenging. (paragraph) The decorator draws an intricate edging along the borders of a
love letter bringing some extra beauty into the world of the receiver. Another decorator
hangs lovely rural scenes on the walls to make the kitchen homely. An art collector puts
an expensive wooden sculpture (Shona?) in the foyer of his mansion & for good measure
a granite form (Henry Moore?) in his garden under the florida palms next to where the
patio & entertainment area overlook the swimming pool. (paragraph) If I had been an artist
I would have wanted to be at the other end of the . The one where you challenge
accepted & habitual ways of looking at the . I would like to take people on a journey
through difficult te into unchartered waters. Great artists have done that. But they are
very few. How do they do it? That’s the problem. (paragraph) An indivial observes the
world through the window of his identity consisting of many components all joined
together in a single whole as if they were pieces of coloured glass held together by lead
sealing. Some major components are religion, tribal affiliation, social status, sexual role,
etc. etc. We invest a lot of ourselves in building the structure and then maintaining its
cohesion. Serious damage to any one of the lattices can make the whole window fall to
. Rea nging the coloured shards is almost impossible and done only at large cost.
Once we’ve joined the together it is tempting to keep them firmly in place ever after;
from inertia alone. For the more timid the slightest challenge to its rigidity is taken as
life threatening. The fundamentalist mind set is like that. Note the reaction to Andre
Serrano’s ‘sss-x-riced’. Or threaten the tribal identification of a people & they might
ethnically cleanse you. (paragraph) So it would seem impossible to change how a person
views the world. On this model at least. Yet great artists do sometimes help us, perhaps
by their combined efforts, to go on extraordinary journeys. (paragraph) If I were an artist I
would like to be the person who loosens, a little, the lead seals that hold the shards
together. That would be sufficient challenge for me. I like to think that though most are
born to build there is also a need for the occasional person whose task it is to loosen
structures, even shake them apart at times, or threaten to. Put in another way, I would
rather rock the than row it. To do it well, which may simply mean to get away with it,
may require a bit of style, a bit of art perhaps. A bit of wicked humour, a bit of trickery, a
bit of shock? ((paragraph) *********** (paragraph) It should be noted that though in western
culture notions about GOD & ART share a parallel history (prior to the post-modern era
at least) they share other things too. Both are 3-letter words. Further, as students of
arcane coincidences and devotees of trivial pursuit will be aware, both are imperfect
reflections of the animal kingdom as GOD is an anagram of  and ART is an anagram of
.”) 5.40pm. Im  in room 203 (c Vilnius 1 & (no 2)) in no 2 Latako g. (31/10. c left side
(btween 11 & 14) of kuvr map of Vilnius 1 (5/12/08. rfern 2th rjnl owt). Lso note th@ foto on kuvr of
Vilnius (no 2) is takn from 16 (ie Rotušė, Menininku rūmai)) Vilnius. Im testn out ‘Čepkeliu trauktine
su Bruknėmis’ & I rekn its not az good az th uthr (c → (no 2) p16) bkoz its sweetr. Iv just kum back
from a kavine in Gaono g. (@ 1 nd of it thr iz a PAMINKLAS (lithol& iz th l& of PAMINKLAI (…AI is th
plurl)) whch reads: VILNIAUS GAONUI ELIJAHU hoo th waitrss sez (ftr nquiries &  kalls in th
kitchn) woz an mportnt Torah skolr (rabinas) in th 1700s. Sh sez I kan find out mor O him @ th sh
mzeum (hvnt cn th 1 in Melb.) & I mght break my rule & do just th@ 2mrrow uthrwize Ill hav 2 wait till
I get back 2 Melb. & read th Opaedia Judaika @ th St8 Libery) whr I had a beer & a  of
ŠALTIBARSČIAI. B4 th@ I vzitd th chapl in th Aušros Vartai (Gates of Dawn) 2 c if I kould spot any
mrakls bkoz I hav noticed peopl thr akt az if they r in a rapture & az I woz passn thrgh th g8s this
mornn draggn me suitkase I sor a guy turn O & † hmslf koz he had gon ndr th shrine (2 th holy vrgin
mary). I ddnt wtnss a mrakl but read th@ th pope haz don8d both hiz RED & his WHITE skull kaps 2
th shrine 2 sgnl hiz dvotion. Thr iz a 4 pilgrms 2 sgn but I ddnt. @ 3pm I  H 2 giv her th no 2 
back (koz its miles cheapr 2  from Melb 2 lithol& than th ←) & w torkd 4 nearly an hour. I m gettn
homesik & sh klaims sh wants me back uthrwize shs On up th ‘hire-a-hubby’ service. B4 th@ I had a
beer (maža (300) tamsaus) & fried bread (if u hav it u kant eat nuthr greezee meal on th same day az
its nuff x itslf 2 make your skin ooz greez) wth garlk in th kavine x th Arkikatedra-Bazilika  2 get
back → th swng of th Vilnius lifestyle. B4 th@ I got 100 US $s & 30 euros in dreadfl ntcipashn of th
10 hrs Ill hav 2 spnd @ th Moscow airport on my way home in a weeks time. B4 th@ I chekd if
66
ŠUjLoSnKaIsS had d on 29/4/04 – 1/5/04 2 Karolina Masiulytė-Paliulienė (30/10. c Vilnius (no
2) p13) @ th frnch lnguage shop & he sed he had but kouldnt grantee sh would read it so I got his
+rss 2 send my lithol& 2 him so he kan read em. (its hot & steamy but my short sleev shirt hznt
dried yet from whn I washd it in th basin). B4 th@ Vaidas had droppt me off @ th Ukmergė (c →
(no 1)) bus stashn but a guy spottd I woz goin 2 Vilnius & ffrd a fastr trip (u get this @ most majr
& bus termnls) 4 8 Lt (wth 5 uthr pssngrs). B4 th@ Vaidas had put in a littl bottl wth a of ppr on
whch I had  a sekret note → hole he had drilld → top of th BOBAs (c → (no 1) & → (no 2)) 
whch reads: “The BOBA was made x Vaidas (Vaidotas in full) ŽVIRBLIS (Passer
domesticus) ring June & July 2004 on a trip from Melbourne, Vic. Australia. I, John
Arūnas ŽIŽYS, was a witness & helped carry her 2 her present lokashn. I 2 m from
Mebourne but my fathr woz born in th Ukmergė . a…ž. PS Th haus was built x Vaido g
dfathr.” Ncdntly it woz a magnfcent chievmnt az 4 men kouldnt hav liftd th BOBA but w mnaged 2 do
it wth a riketee kart V found in th shed. It woz a struggl. B4 th@ I 8 fuls of red, & of black
SERBENTAI (c → (no 2) p16). B4 th@ I 8 sausage (it woz named KAIMIŠKOS LAUKTUVĖS
KAIMIŠKAS SERVELATAS & it had a pretty pik of a vllager bringn good stuff on hiz drawn kart →
city peopl & in small print it sed “nauja technologija “(new teknolgy) & “experimentinis gaminys”
(xprimntl prdkt) & Vaidas had bght it x mstake koz he threw hiz → cindrs koz it tasted like th stuff u
x in ny sprmrkt in Melb xpt it had mor ☼t in it 2 suit litho taste buds & it woz wfl & nxious & a taste of
things 2 kum wth th rrival of modrinity but I 8 it koz I woz hungry) on rye bread wth 2mato (striktly litho
koz az very1 here knows they r much tastier (but go off quikr!) than th ½ price spansh 1s), kukumbr,
onion & dill (KRAPAI) 2 whch Iv bkum +iktd. B4 th@ I had a wash in th Šašuola rivr 4 th last time evr
mayb (c → (no 1) p4). B4 th@ I had a good though short nghts sleep rin whch I woz 1drn O Sai
Babas prdktion of th xakt time whn he would  th@ Vaidas had told me O th prvious evnn x th
LAUŽAS. What dffrnce duz it make 2 his  & sayns should th prdktion turn out 2 b fals since I woz
thinkn th@ th meann of th lnguage iz a sepr8 m@r? Sppose a bad man sez sumptn true O human
nature duz it turn out 2 b fals koz he woz a bad man? Or if a very good man (eg ) sez sumptn
rdkulous duz it turn out 2 b true just koz it woz sed x a nice guy? Or r bad guyz (az Rumsfeld (5/11.
met GEORGE-KcOoTnZABASIS ((c → (no 1) p6) sez his rtkls r sent 2 Rumsfeld, Bush, & Cheney
& klaims th yanx hav fast-trakt most of hiz rkommndashns) @ th st8 libery ystrdy whr he had brought
in hiz (4 lgal dposit) xortn an n10sfkashn of th war on terrr & rguin th@ “Since the terrorists
have deci to fight the ‘infidels’ by the laws of the jungle, they should also be prepared
to suffer, and to , by the laws of the jungle … no civilised human rights laws should
protect this murderous mass of fana who are determined to bury civilised life” (8/11.
Con, a 4mr SBS drektr & hoo haz bn an +dik8r on th = Pprtunity Board Trbunal in Vik k8s th →
hiz muthr & “to all mothers who may have lost or who might lose their sons and daughters
in this war against terror”)) would hav us blve) lwayz rong & good guys (eg Bush or th pope)
lwayz rght? I woz thinkn O th prdktion x JESUS OF NAZARETH th@ th  az w know it woz O 2
fnish & he woz mstaken but very1 he preachd 2 woz  wthn a genrashn & their  had fnishd
ndeed. Prhaps they wdnt hav listnd 2 him if he hdnt sed th  would finsh & he nly sed it
would so they would listn koz it really would 4 thm & he knew it finshs 4 very1 but they sort of
think they go on 4eva bkoz they hav kids etc. So mayb he woz speakn nly 4 thoz 4 hoom it fnishs
(az it did 4 him) az thoz hoo think they go on 4eva mght az well stay happy (HA! HA! HA!) az they r
koz theyv got it. Good on em I say. I woz lso thinkn O Brigitas  whch sh had persnly d 2 Sai Baba
koz it woz  in komprhensibl (Brigita is sane) sntnces but sh woznt xpktn (& ddnt get) an nswr ←
from th holy man but mayb woz spektn a mirkl. But if Sai Baba duz mirkls why go all th way wth a 
2 india ← ozziel& since a guy like th@ should b abl 2 hear what u ask in ozziel& koz of his mrklous h
n or iz it he kan nly do sum mirkls but not uthrz & needs a   2 giv an n rspons. U got 2 dmit it
gets pretty konfuzin whn u t n 2 much O mirkls in your sleep. I lso got up O x 4 4 a piss (& 1ce 4
a shit) koz of all th soop (& sum beer) I had had rin th day. Yes, I m goin in rverse ← Vilnius & from
here ← Melbourne.
29/7 /04. My last day in Vilnius, lithol&, EUROPA. Ystrdy evenn I dskuvrd a kavine in
Gedimino pr. whr I woz abl 2 drink th gr8 beer (7%) kalld Kunigaikščiu whch I had bn drinkn in
Šiauliai. It leavs th 8 Lt/glass russian beer I had bn torkd in2 x-n far bhind 4 taste. I d k it wth a side
dish of SILKĖS (pikld herrn) whch seemd a perfkt kombnashn. Iv lost my ppetite 4 fried bread & garlk
67
az a beer ppertizer. I no a hello 2 th pimp (c → (no 1) p1) az he → x. On th way back †n th
Arkikatedra  I woz sOd x a group of cheery girls in frilly kostumes hoo nsistd on takn shots of me
wth me rms O a kupl of thm – they wer out on a MERGVAKARIS (hens nght). Things change. @ th 
t of th trip verythn seemd so drma & defnit & it woz eazy 2 make kommnts, draw nfrnces, & st8
knklusions (oftn nkorrekt). Th less u know th mor klearly u c bkoz what u r seeng r th DIFFRENCES.
1ce th ntial shok iz bzorbd az iz th kase wth me now th kontours bkum ndstinkt, mprssions sk@rd, &
u t dealn wth th large whch w share in kommn & verythn bkums vague gain – th mor u know
th less u know. Only 1 thing haz rmaind konstnt – ČEPKELIU TRAUKTINĖ. It iz a good drop & Im
takn 1½ bottls of it ← Melbourne (lso goin 2 take a flask of it 4 Moscow airprt whr w r goin 2 spnd
11+ hours). This mornn b4 evn gettn dressd I spnt sevrl hours skim readn Jews, Lithuanians and
the Holocaust x Alfonsas Eidintas (c Vilnius 1 p4). I would rathr not hav 2 read it prprly &
nsted don8 it 2 th litho libery @ litho ♣ in Errol st strght way whn I get back but I feel blig8d. Th bnefit
of havn read it 2gthr wth havn dun th trip 2 lithol& iz (I hope & feel certain will b th kase) I will finally b
abl 2 lay th ssue aside. Th book iz klearly authortiv, horrifik & spcifik (but I ddnt c mntion of Ukmergė)
in dtail & its nalises strike me az d. I feel I owe it 2 th viktms 2 know @ least this much b4 I dcide 2
avrt my gaze (2/11. “if you look long into an abyss, the abyss will look back into you” –
Nietzsche). Lso it will make it eazier not 2 put up wth sum of th nnsens I m kkassionlly sbjektd 2 x
self a d histrians. If I will hav sukcee in nn my load th trip 2 lithol& will hav bn mor than worthwhile.
In th nd what nts 4 me r frend not tribl a mnts & I would like 2 prsue my soterik ntrsts wth
their help. Like sum kind of pilgrm I find hurdls (but prhaps they r sgnposts or stashns) long th way →
bskure dstnashn (?). I want 2 travl …. Changed most of my rmainn Lts → euros. Bought film 2
take a few mor piks. Bought nuthr of th Danielius Dolskis CDs koz I thght Alec D mght like it. Went 2
Gedimino pr. 4 a finl O of Kunigaikščiu su (wth) silke. Bought nuthr flask of Čepkeliu 4 th Moscow
airprt. Thr iz no way wthout a good knwldge of th lnguage I kould hav voi bein a 2rst but th flip side
iz I kant void bein a relo & 4 both th main thing th@ happns iz u kan b xpozed 2 tribl rkruitmnt (& slf
prmotion) or th dzire of th lokls 2 przent tribl @rbutes & rgistr your reaktions 2 thm or duk8 u in thm.
Thr iz no way out of th bind bkoz of th limtashns mpozed x time & 2+ munths iz nuthn whn it kums 2
learnn (or nlearnn) th things whch m@r. Ftr all it haz takn me a life in ozziel& 2 nlearn what nts.
What u learn r th dffrnces, what m@rs iz lready shared. Tribalzm iz fed x nsekurties & fear (th@s why
thr r so many here) & nly th ntmacy & trust (wth good n10tions & oftn tstd) whch kums wth long &
true frnd iz what I seek whch means it iz not ncessry 4 me 2 kum back xpt merely 4 ntrtainmnt
whch znt lackn in my life. Morovr though th main nfluences on me az a persn hoo  r ropean (kceptn
Borges) nun of thm r from here & all my readn iz in nglsh. Thr r peopl hoom I would hav liked 2 get
2 know bettr (esp Rasa K & Juozas Ž) but our Ostances will nevr llow it evn if I did ← 4 rglar vizts. (m
w@chn beautful wmn → & m O 2 ordr nuthr O of Kunigaikščiu & silke). But if I knew I kould spnd a
good deal of my time → 4sts I kould b nticed 2  (5/12/08. &  dd n2006 &m nxt y7/7 – 7/8/09).
Or if H wantd 2 kum. (the pimp waved) Its 5.20 & Im  @ th Kabailas @ 6 & Vaidas will pik me up
back here @ 4 am…. Its 11.55 & Iv just had a beer @ th Tiffany Pub 2 wind down from bein wth th
Kabailas. I wont → dtails bkoz I want 2 get a few hours shut-eye xpt 2 say th@ on th way I met
ŠAjLuArKiIjN (th muzikian wth DUENDE) gain & whn I told Rasa th@ he had kum here from Grozny
sh gave me th words of th ČEČĖNU (2/11. chechnian) HIMNAS in litho (vertė (t sl8d x) Sigitas
Geda): MIRTIS ARBA LAISVĖ. “ATSIRADOM KAI VILKEI VILKIUKAI ĖMĖ INKŠTI PRIE
KOJU / MUMS PARINKO VARDUS AUŠTANT RYTUI KAI LIŪTAS RIAUMOJO / MUS
ERELIU LIZDUOS MŪSU MOTINOS ŠVELNIOS MAITINO / O TĖVAI – GIRIU JAUČIUS
SUTRAMDYT MOKINO // GREIČIAU UOLOS GRANITO IMS TIRPTI KAIP LYDOMAS
ŠVINAS / NEI PRARASIM KOVOJ SAVO PRIGIMTI KILNIA BENT VIENAS / GREIČIAU
ŽEMĖ IŠ KARŠČIO IMS SKELDĖT BE ŽADO / NEGU MES PO ŽEME ATSIGULSIME GARBE
PRARADE // NIEKAD, NIEKAM NELENKTI GALVOS - DUODAM PRIESAIKA ŠVENTA / ARBA
MIRT, ARBA LAISVĖJ GYVENTI MUMS LEMTA / MŪSU SESĖS DAINOM BROLIU KRUVINA
ŽAIZDA IŠGYDO / MŪSU MYLINČIOS MOTERYS MUS IŠLYDI I ŽYGI // JEI MARINS
MUS BADU – MEDŽIO ŠAKNI MES IMSIME GRAUŽTI / JEI NEDUOS MUMS VANDENS –
ŽOLIU RASA MES IMSIME GERTI / ATSIRADOM, KAI VILKEI VILKIUKAI ĖMĖ INKŠTI
PRIE KOJU / TAUTAI, TĖVYNEI, DIEVUI – MES SAVO GYVYBE AUKOJAM.” U got 2 dmit its
68
a great n@ionl nthm - & look whr its got thm!
(3/12/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 5 (nos. 42 – 51 of anthology))

2/12/04 (30/11/04 – 9/12/04 (no 53)). Port Germein → Port Augusta (shopd; ptrl) →
Cowell (bite 2 eat; stubby; →d th main st.) → Lipson Cove. Th kove iz ½ way btween Port Neill &
Tumby Bay (5/1. c kuvr map @ C x 11/12 (6/12/08. rfr z2 rjnl owt)) ie O ½ hour drive 2 eithr
town. Thr iz no1 elz here. Whn I kame thr woz a famly n. I m in th spot they left nxt 2 th brilliant
white s& whch 4ced me 2 wear sunglasss whn I went 4 a stroll sth. Iv drivn in past a sgn sayin no
kampn & not 2 blok th boat launchn ramp or boats bein launchd here. Th wtr iz breakn in small waves
(1/1. ystrdy H don8d $50 (7/1. cf George Bush hoo prsnlly gave $US10,000) → TSUNAMI vktmz
(7/1. u kan 4get Dafur now - thrz no poltkl mileage in it & itz not a 2rst dstn8ion) 20 yrds way & thr iz a
small isl& kuvrd in birdz just ffshor. Its a beautful mild day wth a frsh breez off th wtr. Earlier a guy my
age drove in & sortd thrgh th rubbsh bins 4 kans & bottls. I workd out how 2 xplain why it kant b sed
th@ th O haz a meann but I kant b bothrd writin it down. M O 2 read Cons uthr ssay whch iz titld
‘Terrorist Barbarians Not At The Gates Of Civilization But Inside Its Gates.’ …. Here iz Cons
(“Former Director of SBS TV 1986 – 1996”) openin ¶: “A deadly Trojan Horse has been placed in
the midst of the metropolises of Western civilization and like Troy is threatening its
destruction. Throughout Europe, North America, Australia and Asia, the belly of this
deadly Horse is already bursting open delivering and unleashing a horde of fanatic
barbarians on the cities of the civilized world, whose holy agenda decrees the wiping out
of Western institutions and their open, tolerant and free societies, and the genocide of
their peoples by the fire of Allah’s hell.” & thr iz much much mor of th same but if u want 2 read
it youl hav 2 get it from Con (e-mail: kotzabasis@bigpond.com) yourslf …. So I went 4 nuthr stroll.
9/12/04 (6/12/08. th DANYO RESERVE (no 53) verzhn (*….*) zthsam xspt 4 thbsnsv gaps /
 thwerdz). *Danyo Reserve. 6.00pm. Nusually th van iz facin east koz its whr th wind is ←. Thr r
sum vry srious thndrstorms 1drn O & I mght yet shift → spot kloser 2 th hghway or Murrayville tslf.
Woodnt want 2 get boggd in here whn Im due home 2morrow. This mornn in Port Germein I woke 2
kmpletly changed weathr kndtions. It woz mild & th sun woz shinin thrgh a break in th klouds. Th
Flinders Range lookd beautful wth th foldz hghlghtd x th slantd sunbeamz. Th sual Singing
Honeyeater (Lichenostomus virescens) went thrgh a few barz nxt 2 th van. Sor a White-winged
Fairy Wren (Malurus leucopterus. Race: leuconotus) 4 th 1st time in th spot az I woz eatn brekky.
Therz nuthr new thing – th big haus x th 4shor in th main st whch w 1ce 1drd O xn but whch woz l8r
bght x a skoolteachr haz bn turnd → kafé. →d on th pier az I nearly lwayz do b4 leavn th town. @
Wirrabara had a koffee & a steak & pppr pie gain. @ Loxton read th ppr ovr a strong (x2 shot) mug of
latté 4 $3. 8 t @ Murrayville (th pub iz flyin a flag & thr iz 1 † th rd near th park) & drove O th town &
sOs a bit b4 x-n 2 stubbies & kumn here. Rturnn 2 ystrdys topik. It mght make mor sens if th
bhuddsts sed w & th tangbl O woz rl8d 2 sumptn els az mrages, rflktions etc r rl8d 2 th tangbl O. Xpt
kum 2 think of it it wood b nonsnskl 4 th same reazns (28/12. what kood w b meann x “sumptn els”?) I
outlined ystrdy. DiaCnAdSrTeRaO sggstd th bhuddst notion iz simlr 2 Platos klaim th@ w c th O
mprfktly az shadowz on th wall of a kave. But it iz p8nt th@ such a msuse of lnguage iz dzignd 2
prvide a justfkashion 4 th xistns of ntlktual middlmen, sprtual brokers, priests etc, flosfrs, & uthr kinds
of dsguized sky-pilots. Howvr ppl need 2 BABBL, BURBL, BLEAT, TWITTR, R@NLIZE, & SING
2gthr & it iz not their task, nor do they hav th time, 2 dknstrukt lnguage → its basik
konsttuents 2 th point whr it loozez meann (whr thr iz nly gsture) az I do. Az a persn hooz job it iz
2 teez & terrrize lnguage I plead this much @ least: I HAV NOT PRVIDED JUSTFK8NS 4 JDICIAL
KILLN, 4 JUST WARS, 4 D10TION OF RFUGEEZ & THEIR CHILDRN (1dr if th guys on th roof of th
gym @ th Baxter d10tion srvived th storms whch wer rportd in Port Augusta 2day; I notice theyr
pleadn ddnt make it in2 th Australian newsppr), NOR 4 KILLN NDR TH GUIZE OF KOLLATRL,
PRMPTV STRIKE, OR SLFDFNS, NOR 4 TRTUR WTHN TH BOUNDS OF NTRN@IONL RULES
OR IN NYWAY. I rmain a pcifist (long rumbl of thundr whch haz set off th Rufous Whistler
(Pachycephala rufiventris)) ndr all Ostances hooz nklnashn iz 2 browz on grass like a hoovd niml
(29/12. I m ware of & kcept th knsquences) way from th . Of much els Im ndoubtdly guilty. I lso
wsh 2 out Im no longr  wth th feeln of my bein held (2/1. or az if a dskors, or dialktk woz
findn xprssion thrgh it; or az if it woz dvlopn a singl met4 or shadin in th dtails of a large pkture prznt
from th bgnnng (so u hav th ppearance th@ whatvr new iz writn (or dun) it haz lready bn prdiktd x th
69
1st pieces put out). In sayn I no longr hav such a feeln (knowledge?) I m not mputin any sgnfkance 2 it
in th 1st place – just rkordn th fakt). I hav bn 4tun8 2 hav had th lnguage & pprtunity 2 say what I
wantd. I thght I had finshd a year or 2 ago but I now rlize th 7 pieces from lithol& wer a ncessry part of
it. If thr iz nythn els 4 me 2 say shld I kontnue writin it kan nly b, az DERRIDA klaims, th@
WRITERS PASS KOMMNT IN WAYZ THEY R NOT WARE OF. I hope th@ in dknstruktn lnguage I do
no hurt. If I hav it haz not bn n10tionl. 2mrrow Ill b back in Melbourn in Hs rms whr I blong. Its rainn.
Thundr.*
10/2 /05 (10/2/05 – 18/2/05. (no 54)). @ Birds Gallery @ 8.15 am & ftr a koffee →
Gippsl& 2 try out th nfl8bl dnghy Vaidas bort a kupl of dayz go. I m (6 pm) ritin th ntry @ th Lonely
Bay Walk kar park on th Toorloo Arm of Lake Tyers (c Vic Roads Country Directory map 85 c x 6.7).
Vaidas haz gon ↓ path O 200 yrdz → shor 2 throw in a line. A few weeks go whn me & H wer here th
taylor wer jumpn. Th nfl8bl iz stil ntakt in th █ it kame in. In nglsh it iz kalld “ HUNTER 6 person
boat HF 36011”. In spansh it sez “ HUNTER 6 person boat H360 EMBARCACION PARA 5
PERSONAS”. In germn it sez “ HUNTER HF 360 Angelboot für 3 Erwaschsene, 1 Kind”. In th
foto-pik on th frunt it showz 2 ppl in it whch looks O rght. It kost $350 rduced ← $500. 1 st stop on th
way woz @ th • on th Tambo whr w had spnt a few nghts a few kz out of Metung & I had cn 2 lrge
brim. W had a beer vrlookn th watr in th pub @ Metung. Oh yes! I 4got: our 1 st stop woz @ EAST
COAST SMOKED EELS in Str@4d whr w bort ½ neel 4 $6.00 It had just bn smokd & if w had kum 20
minz rlier w kood hav got it b4 it had bn vkume pakt in plstk. Im goin ↓ 2 c how th n iz …. Hez got
4 in & had 1 dfnit bite. A jumpt & splsht neer x , & gain & gain. Hez lost nuthr b8 & haz kum
& ↓ a glas eech ← botl of TAYLORS Cabernet Sauvignon 14.5% alc/vol (HE HAZ JUST CGHT A
ITZ A BLAK BRIM ITZ LEEGL SIZE EVN BGSH WEL B FRYIN 4 T) whch Iv brort ↓ → th pknk
tabl x th watr. W bort it in Lakes Entrance ftr lunch (filt of flake (gumy ) & 2 krumbd prawnz 4 $8.50)
whn V shopt up @ th sprmrkt. It kost $13 & it haz 1 a GOLD MEDL @ th Royal Queensl& Wine
Show in klas 29 in 2004. Ndr a pik of 3 c Bill Taylor Snr sez: “Think of nothing else but the
source when crafting a wine, for it is in the vineyard that great wines are made.” & on th
bak it sez “My grandfather, Bill Taylor, inspired by the great wines of the world,
established our estate in the Clare Valley, South Australia. ¶ Fossilized sea-
unearthed on the estate confirmed the area was once the bed of an inland sea – rich and
fertile. Today, the sea- are proudly represented as our crest.¶ Through three decades
of winemaking, as each generation passes its craft to the next, our commitment to
quality does not falter. For our family, the wine really is everything.¶ A generous
cabernet (HEZ GOT NUTHR GOOD SIZE 1 BLAK BRIM GAIN) with rich, fruit flavours of
blackcurrant and cassis along with subtle chocolate and mint. French oak maturation
adds a toasty complexity.” Its OK 2. 7.55. Kloudy. Breez haz dropt.
17/2/05. Cobungra → Mt Hotham (thrw out rubbsh, washt h&z & face; sum snow p@chz
rmainn from th same storm whch dumpt th rain on Melb 1½ weeks go) → Bright (red th ppr ovr a mug
of x2 shot latté 4 $3.70) → Myrtle4d (ptrl, chekt mssge bank) → Whitfield (via Buffalo dam & road
thrgh Dandongadale & Cheshunt (smokd trout & venisn on th menu)). Drinkn a Carlton Draught @ a
shady tabl on a perfkt stil, mild day. Th streem bordrn th beer gardn iz burbln. I m tryin 2 klekt me
thorts on th letrz x Andriaus gr&ma az I know hel xpkt a rspons. My ntrst whn I strtd reedn woz 2 get
sum nsght in2 th kind of persn hoo bhavez like this, n xplnashn 4 her ktionz. But thr r az good az 0.
Part from 1 sntnce whr sh sez th s@sfktion of reern th chldrn mor than made up 4 th rsk 2 her life sh
barely evn rfrz 2 thm. In th ntrdktion itz rportd sh had sed th@ sh koodnt hav livd wth hrslf if sh hadnt
takn thm on but th@ hardly sez mor than ‘I did it bkoz I did it’. Andrius @rbutes her ktionz & her srvivl
in sberia (a preest (2/3. in 2 dayz HeraldSun (p28) thr iz n rtkl O Father SASjNuAlUiSuKsAS hoo
spent 18 munths in th celz of th KGB in Vilnius (c Vilnius 1 pp4 & 9) & then 5 yeerz xiled in sberia.
He haz a hstree of poltkl ktvty in th korz of ltho freedom . He iz viztn th ltho komnteez of oz. It iz worth
notin preests (3/3. they playd a krooshl role in rvivin ltho lnguage & tribl dntity durin th period of tzarst
rule) wer well rprzntd mung thoz hoo gave shltr 2 jwz durin th war & mung thoz hoo ddnt. What th rtkl
duznt mntion iz th@ though harshly prskuted x th sovietz they r lso well rprzntd mung thos hoo wer
rkruitd x th KGB) helpt her bild a home) 2 th strngth of her rlgious knvktionz & it iz true in her letrz sh
frquently rfrz 2 th prtektv gaze (APIVAIZDA) of GOD. But then Hitler woz th nstrmnt of DESTNY,
Stalin had HSTRY (hstork ncessty) on hiz side, & our own pundts ppeal 2 REEZN. What thez deities
share iz th@ if u stare hard @ ny of thm & keep askn “but what duz it meen?” they dsspeer. It iz a
krktrstk of ppl hoo knstntly uze the wordz neethr 2 nlize nor 2 ? (just got me (grild c-bass) & chips
70
wth salad & a mssge ← th ktchn 2 say normly u nly get 1 filt but I got 2 (22/2. what it meenz 2 b a
riter) 4 sum reezn; Im drinkn a glas of Pizzini merlot whch woz fild → brim x th new bar grl hoo duznt
rlize (22/2. now I get it!) normly they nly ½ fil th glas here) But if nsted of askn what they r u ask what
job they do, what purpozez r they put 2 (ie why wer thez wordz nvntd) u wil find their komn use iz 2
justfy (lgitmize) ktion takn or O 2 b xkuted. & so GOD iz th king of th l& of good in th prptual war vs
Satan th dark lord of the kngdm of eevl (if u took th word out of George Bushz vokab therd b hardlee
nythn left). Sum thlgians wil klaim EVIL iz simply th bsence of GOOD (koka2z r skreechn) but dont
bleev em. W knot mgine eevl wthout good any mor than w kan mgine nght wthout day. Both of
thm xst in chuthr since th 4mashn of th wordz: since th sprashn of lght from dark (23/2. 1st
dvzion - Genesis). Iv dgrsd. Her letrz ndk8 th@ th 3 pilrz whch suprt Konstancijaz O view r: 1) her
rlgiostee (sh prayz a lot & sumtimez sitz thrgh sevrl knsektv srvices & sh vizts shrinez), 2) her
p@riotzm (based on tribe, ltho lnguage, & homel&), & 3) her bleef in th mprtnce of dukashn (komn in
th mrgent ltho thnik midl klas). I wood put it 2 Andrius th@ many =y dvout & p@riotk (th prtklar
mrriage of rlgion & p@riotzm woz typkl of many lthoz (& polez, & mayb iz known in zrael, & in Bushz
merika)) lthoz ddnt srvive th gulag & many rlgious jws prishd in th deth kamps. I knot think of nuthr
kuntry (xpt mayb ukraina) whr th jws wer mrdrd kwikr & wth mor frcity than in lthol& dspite th kathlk
p@riotzm of th pplashn. It may evn b th@ their bleefs helpt sum of thm 2 avrt their gaze. So I m left
wthout kluze & 1dr how I myslf wood hav bhaved. Wordy ppl like me kan find xusez 4 verythn & I m
sadnd @ th thort I wood hav rigld out of a tight • in my konshence x rguin I had no rght 2 ndanger th
livez of me kdz. It wood hav dsguizd what I sspkt iz th likelhood I woodnt hav saved th ghetto chldrn
evn if I ddnt hav ny of my own 2 prtkt. I no myslf nuf 2 no I woodnt hav had th kurrij. Th germnz
nvaded mmd8ly ftr th 1st rus kkupashn & th prception th@ th jwsh tribe had nthziastkly koopr8d wth th
rus (esp wth their skurity orgnz) woz lmost nivrsal (22/2. so I nfr). Emaci8d prznrz (thoz hoo wrnt
mrdrd x th rtreetn sovietz) wer klaimn it woz jwsh terrrg8rz hoo had torchrd thm. Goebblz prpganda
mchine & th kolabr810 lokl mrdrz (22/2. jwsh sorcez say all hell broke loos) made full use (prhps they
had nvntd it) of th prvlnt vew. Ndr thoz Ostancez I wood hav bn 2 frghtnd 2 take on th kdz in kase
sum1 btrayd (22/2. it wood b ntrstn 2 know if in fakt they took place) me & like most uthrz (Alfonsas
Eidintas in Jews, Lithuanians & the Holocaust (1/3. c Vilnius 1 p4) givz th figrz) wood hav
lookt th uthr way. Whch iz why I find th ktionz of Konstancija Bražėnienė evn mor nxplkbl (1/3. &
dmirabl). I put it 2 Andrius th@ 2 @rbute hiz gr&marz ktionz 2 her bleef in GOD may b 2 dtrakt from
her kraktr az sh may hav dun th same evn if sh had not bleevd in HIM. Of kors I no w knot sepr8 out
thez thingz so nor kan w likewize @rbute her ktions 2 her GOD. (2nd glas of Pizzini) Im rmindd of ppl
hoo win bravry wardz & whn they r ntrvewd x journoz they say it hapnd 2 kwik 4 thm 2 think O it, or
th@ ny1 wood hav dun th same, or th@ they just dun it. Th GOOD SAMARITAN helpt bkoz sum1
pleedd. W r not told he dun it 2 do godz wil or 2 save hiz sole or 4 th good of humnty or 2 help nuthr
mmbr of hiz tribe & it kkurz 2 me th@ though thlogianz rekn jzuz of nzarth iz ment 2 giv a humnly
meennful face 2 GOD (a word jzuz uzed (25/2. wth a dffrnt meenn? meenn haz changed?)) hiz xmpl
iz much mor meennful if U LEEV GOD RIGHT OUT OF IT! …. → Tolmie → Kelly Tree (a plark sez
“VICTORIA POLICE / UPHOLD THE RIGHT / Sergeant Michael Kennedy No: 2009 /
Constable Michael Scanlon No: 2118 / Constable Thomas Lonigan No: 2423 / Killed at
Stringybark Creek on the 26th October, 1878 during the execution of their duty in a
gunfight with a group of men later known as the “Kelly Gang” / Respectfully remembered
and never forgotten / The Victoria Police Force / Plaque unveiled by Michael and Mick
Kennedy on the 26-th October, 2001”) → T@ong (c 3/4/04 – 12/4/04 p11). Im here 4 th nght.
24/3 /05 (21/3/05 – 25/3/05. (no 55)). 8.50 am. Last nght I did get thrgh 2 H & vrythn
iz a OK & then I rmmbrd 2 O the Woodlucks 2 ask Bill (26/3. hoo klaimz Im xitabl but not motionl &
HOaLnLdIyS greez. So what iz th dfrnce? (27/3. my way of nvstg8n th dstnkshn iz 2 ask what is
cheevd x it (ie th poltks of it))) 2 put out th binz @ Miller st & Jan sed OK & drive kairfly. This mornn
the (Gymnorhirna tibicen) r karolin & thr r lrge p@chz of blue in th sky 4 a change. Iz 2day
th day of THE LAST SUPPER & 2nght th nght of th vgil in th GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE? But Im
hedn → Melbourne & will kntnue my ssortmnt of odmnts whn I get bak …. Ivanhoe 3.25. I hav 2
make a krektion 2 10/2/05 – 18/2/05 p3 O th dramtk evnt whch took place on 19th feb @ 5 pm
outside Joes in Chapel st. H found th rlvnt rtkl in th edshn of th HeraldSun her skool libery rtaind. Th
numbr of hevly armd pleece nvolvd woz 7 not 4 az I had rmmbrd. A kupl of weekz l8r I met sum1 hoo
new th dtailz of th evnt & 1 of th womn nvolvd & hoo sez it woz a krimnl not a ntlgnce rl8d m@r. If so
Id like 2 no on what basis th newz woz sprssd? My last piece licitd a letr +rsd 2 Mallacoota Man (c
71
10/2/05 – 18/2/05 p11) here in Ivanhoe wth a poem. The orthr of th 1st 4 versz iz nknown; th last 2
wer ritn x Tony Hunt 1 time mmbr of th Bushwackers b&. It woz sent x HAdRaRvIeS of Casual Manor.
Here iz th poem/song: “FIVE MILES FROM GUNDAGAI ¶ I’m used to punchin’ bullock teams
/Across the hills and plains, / I teamed outback for forty years / In blazin’ drought and rain, /
I’ve had me share of trouble boys, / But hang me till I die; / I’ll never forget what happened
me, / Five miles from Gundagai. // It was raining hard, the team got bogged, / The axle snapped
in two, / I’d lost me matches and me pipe, / Lord, what was I to do? / The rain came down, ‘twas
bitter cold, / And hungry too was I, / And the dog he shat in the tucker box, / Five miles from
Gundagai. // Some blokes I know have lots of luck, / No matter where they fall. / But there was
I , Lord love-a-duck! / No flamin’ luck at all. / I couldn’t make a pot of tea / Or keep me
trousers dry, / And the dog, / He shat in me tucker box, / Five miles from Gundagai. // I can
forgive the dark and cold, / I can forgive the rain. / I can forgive me flamin’ team, / And go
through it all again. / I can forgive me rotten luck, / But hang me till I die, / I can’t forgive
that bloody dog, / Five miles from Gundagai. // All that is now past and gone, / I sold the team
for meat. / And where I got the bullocks bogged / Now there’s an asphalt street. / The dog?
Oh, well he took a bait / And I reckon that he died, / So I buried him in the tucker box / Five
miles from Gundagai. // Yes, all that is past and gone, / And things are looking sweet, / Now I
drive a big Mack truck, / In fact, I own a fleet. / I churn up lots of diesel fumes, / Turn
people’s faces sour, / And drive through bloody Gundagai / At ninety miles an hour!” Uthrwize
thingz seem bak 2 norml here. 2nght me & H r goin out 2 Brunswick st (26/3. met BRIpCaKuHlILL (c
16/2/04 – 27/2/04 p6)) az w lwayz do @ th nd of th week. Oh yair, 4got 2 mnshn I bort ½ a smokt
eel in Str@4d, & they told me th@ conger eelz like th 1 V saltd & took home 2 Brigita ftr I rfuzed 2
take it off hiz h&z r greezee & taste orfl (29/3. tasted a bit of it 2day & it woz A O K. He had fried it ftr
1st skinin it. He woz stil tryin 2 parm it off on me (“4 H”) but I rfuzed). I knot rzist nuthr kwote from
Borges whr he pasz komnt on hmslf az ‘I’ & hmslf az ‘Borges’: “It would be an exaggeration to
say that our relations were hostile; I live, I allow myself to live, so that Borges may
devise his literature, and that literature justifies me. I have no difficulty in admitting that
I have achieved some worthwhile pages, but those pages cannot save me, perhaps
because what is good no longer belongs to anybody, not even to the other, but to
language or tradition.”
7/4/05 (2/4/05 – 8/4/05 (no 56)). If w think of god (23/4. a wel known Melbourne dntity
& vlnteer drug kownslr (kordn 2 The Big Issue no. 226, pp17-19) hoo smtimez korlz himslf ‘Cock
in a Frock’ & hoo @ th ayj of 16 yeerz & 9 munths woz givn 1 of th last govt fundd fruntl lbotomeez in
oz sed: “Well, I found God, didn’t I? And not that Christian bastard of a God, but a God of
my own understanding, that I choose to call God.”) az n x10shn of th bioljkl O then it iz posbl
w r kmprbl 2 th orgnz in thr rlashn 2 us. They hav thr dffrnt funkshnz nkmprhnsbl 2 chuthr. Sum of
us mite b ment 2 b leedrz, sum folwrz, sum prviderz of lngwj, sum . Thr mite b chozen tribez or
evn a naishn chozen 2 bring dmokrcy 2 th midl eest (23/4. kngr@ulashnz & thanks 2 Michael
Leunig 4 yor rtkl on p9 of Insight in 2daiz Age) & 2 spred ordr & jstice O th O. Meny put up thr h&
wth klaimz of a speshl role & nolj of godz @rbutes, in prtkular hiz 6ual prfrnces (21/4. Benedict sez
god reknz gaiz r good 4 0). Only prolbm, if w r 2 b true 2 th skema I hav prpozed, iz w hav no way of
nowin th@ th rolez w klaim hav bn ssignd 2 us x him. But in pushn th naljy I may myslf b gilty of
klaimn nolj of godz @ributes – I DO NOT. …. Thoz of us hoo hav xprienced pifannies (komn in th
USofA whr a mjrty hav had born gain psodez), vzionz or th nolj of bein wer w shood b, r przmshs 2
kredt thm 2 th 1 god 4 w dont know how ↑ or ↓ w r in th ordr of thingz & it may b thr r meny (or 0)
hghrarkeez of godz hoo dtrmin our dstneez & sum of thm may b daemonz hooz prpoz iz 2 test &
knfuze us. & az 4 th & th mirklz they per4m my krdulity iz straind les x th posblty of mas histria
(23/4. a mor mazin fnmna than any mirkl), poor rportn & skribez mskwotin (meny mirklz wil b rportd in
pol& (22/4. I kan majn th trafk jam of em sholdr 2 sholdr goin ↑ th naro stairway on their neez @
Aušros Vartai in Vilnius (c Vilnius → Melbourne pp1,5&6,9)) in th neer future). Az I sed (c
21/3/05 – 25/3/05) I do not dsmis mraklz out of but I bet Ill nvr c ny1 raizd from th  …. Tonight we
are at the Stony Rise camping area (5 spots cleared from dense coastal vegetation at the end of a long

72
narrow entrance track about 3ks from Robe, in the Little Dip Conservation Park). We can hear the ocean.
Today we walked the town tracks and beaches. John had a fillet of Boarfish (much lauded by the locals). I
notice he is returning in his writing to a favourite theme – that the lower echelons in the basement filing
room have no idea who or what the files are meant for, not unlike the tea ladies who work at CIA (20/4. in
th oz jnseez th top gize lso hav no ideer) headquarters. Kate left a message on John’s mobile to say she
and Gary are moving to Churchill in a fortnight’s time. In the historic Robe cemetry we saw the grave of
Thomas Christian Backler, the Robe town crier who died in 1902. The headstone gave his name and the
punchline that he was known as “Tom the Snob” – there’s one epitaph that didn’t pull its punches! … I m
not sayn w kant no wot th upr eshlnz r up 2 (18/4. az I m not prpaird 2 nomn8 nkapciteez any mor
than @rbutes 2 evn a hypothetkl rdukshnst god – lest I b JUJD (23/4. last nite FnL wer teln us
(thru th of Joes Garage in Brunswick st) th@ Freud  in a goin thru a tunl. If this iz true (I dont
bleev it) it meenz, sez H, th@ he  nside hiz own symbl.)). I m sayn th@ in th nlikely evnt sum1 iz
privy 2 god(z) th rest of us woodnt b abl 2 no (& w woodnt no wat w ment x ‘2 no’) he woz nlss he dun
mrkalz & posbly not evn then. W kan nly juj x humen @rbutes: if he drank like a , shagd like a
rabt, woz a blionair & woz goin strong @ 150 wed probly say he woz th 1, & if he woz a setk in th dzrt
feedn on wild huny & grashprz wed say he woz th Oy 1. Yes, I m goin in Os – wlkum 2 th labrnth!
30/6 /05 (Melbourne → Sydney (no 60)). Melbourne (Miller st, West Melb. 11.30am)
→ E (raind orl th wai) → Sale (1 4 th rode) → Lakes Entrance (4.30 pm. I 8 n peese of Ling & 2
skolps & H had n filt of Royal Basa (mprtd frozn ← Burma) 4 $10 th lot) → Nungurner (c 16/2/04 –
27/2/04 p7) (4 xtra t nxt 2 th darknn lake. I put 2 much chili (sum1 had givn H 2 whch r O like smorl
tmatoze wth vry smorl hot blak seedz) ↓ my nstnt noodl soop. Lso had sum pkld (Zorka (c
13/9/05 p1) → me via Frank) whch I think wer Slipri Jaks & Safrn Milk Kaps) → Metung (wer I m
ritin this ntri wth th help of a Tooheys OLD Black Ale; buv th bar thr iz a 9 ft Marlin; 2nite weel sleep
eethr x th Tambo rvr (O 3kz wai) (c 16/2/04 – 27/2-/04 pp4-5) or ← Nungurner Jetty (O 6 kz wai).
Th yung barmn korld H “darl” – I think it must b her br& new shorti hairkt. (You’ve got to be joking – he’s
probably gay and/or says it to all the old ladies to give them a thrill) . They hav giness n tap & Im drinkn
1 n frunt of th fier wth H.)
7/7/05. Epping → Balmain (whr 1 of oz prmier bookshps, Pentimento, haz bn rplaist x a
Starbucks kofi shop; in Darling st H herd a maitrn tel nuthr 1 th@ sh haz bn ntrstd in kwantum
mkaniks 4 yeers) → Sydney Dance Co Café (red ppr; a O klas of vry hapi litl grl dansrz took th room
ovr ftr their lesn fnsht) → O th siti ● (H bort n book (The Secret Life of Bees x Sue Monk Kidd
(17/9/05. Highly recommended – if you liked ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ you would probably enjoy it) (8/9/05. I
notd thei hav a kopi of n x rZoWsIe (21/9/05. c 13/9/05 p1) O South Africa & n kopi of
Memoirs of Hadrian x mYaOrUgRuCeErNiAtRe wch I red b4 leevn Melb ftr a rkmndashn x
LfOrVaEnCkE (3/10/05. lunch wth him 2dae & then wth Andrea hoo haz big nuez))) 4 mum ) →
Balmain (drank n midi of beer & spnt $1 on th pokeez in th William Wallace Hotel) → Epping (5.50)
….. LONDON BLASTS (2/10/05. BALI ) (8.35) – seereez of xploshuns – WHO? (I kan heer it orl on
teli in th nxt room az I fnsh rrdn th Susan Sontag ).
14/7 /05 (↑ North (no 61)). Larst nite I lisnd 2 th TRUCKS (ZOOMn x n few 00 yardz
wai) & gain long b4 dorn ths mornn & I reelized th@ th knomi here knot srvive wthout OIL. Ovr th
larst 3 daiz w hav cn mainli HIGHWAY & th subtxt haz bn ROAD KILL. Our bigst xpndchr haz bn
PETROL. Our ds10ashn iz a 2rst ICON. But dorn woz greetd x KOOKABURRAZ (Dacelo
novaeguineae) & az th sun woz rizin x Australian RAVEN (Corvus coronoides) & th veri pkuliar
like korlz, so krktrstk of th nl&, of th Little CROW (Corvus bennetti). & w r TOGETHER. Az w lai
ntrtwined I kood heer n Pied BUTCHERBIRD (Cracticus nigrogularis) (I kan heer a Crested
BELLBIRD (Oreoica gutturalis) now). Our klosenss iz wot w vlue most & w r old nuf 2 hav no need 4
tork. W like 2 tuch like CHILDREN (or TAMILS). 8.35am …. 5.35. w r cheek x jowl wth naiborz. Th
famli on 1 side (4 kidz, 2  4x4, larj 10t prtrudin a metr → our ) hav gon 2 th kamp fire 2 lisn 2 th
rainjrz lkchr. Wv kum bak from our 1st nspkshn of th gorj. ICONS (8/11. ← GULF TRIP. Letr →
Melbourne ritn x mi 4/9/97: “FOR SALE ¶ In the middle ages devout pilgrims used to go on a tour of
the holy shrines and the churches where famous relics were housed. They would come back with
tales of blessings by various popes and the dangers on the road which abounded with brigands who
robbed both rich and poor. Grandchildren would be bored into submission by these stories. The
famous complaint: “we woz robbed” originated in this way. Over the centuries an industry developed
to cater to the needs of the devout. Many churches to this day house the shrunken dried scrotums of
73
jesus christ. Enough pieces of the holy cross have been sold to build a bridge. As of tomorrow when I
get to Daintree town and start heading south I feel that I too am embarking on a pilgrimage of the
holy shrines, the ikons of the tourist industry – Cape Tribulation, Whitsundays, Mission Beach, Barrier
Reef (etc) and various other places that I already know from watching telly. I feel that I was
appropriately introduced to this new phase of my journey when I was robbed this morning of $100 for
not wearing a seatbelt. I intend to suspend my opinion and enter fully into devotional mode though I
must admit my interest in the pilgrims is greater than in the ikons. ¶ Everyone in these parts is
wracking their brains how to separate the traveller from his every last cent. Even at Korumba Point
where all the locals live by hiring out cabins there were ‘no camping’ signs everywhere. Here in the
Atherton Tablelands (very beautiful scenery, beautiful tropical aromas, a great botanical walk you
would have loved) there are even more of those signs and plenty of rangers to patrol them so I had to
come into this spot after 5pm when they have knocked off. It is out of Mareeba and called: Emerald
Falls. An artist who runs a coffee shop in Atherton recommended it. If its as good as he says it is I
may not get to Daintree tomorrow. At least there are no crocs here so I can have a wash in the
stream as I refuse to go to camp site shower blocks. The bird calls here are great and all new to me.
¶ Avanti!”) r larjr n th mjnashn than th rlteez thei rprznt. No1 in komi rusha wood hav bleevd th@
STALIN woz no torlr than Derryn Hinch (10/11. n ♥ gaen) wthout hiz pl@4m shuze. I had 4md my
mentl pkchr from such gorjz as Edeowie n th Flindrz & veri narow spktklr 1z n th Gammon rainjz. So
far wv nli bn out 4½ owrz & nstpktd a singl side gorj (Wards, whr King Fern gro @ thr most suthrli ●)
& Il giv my 2rst rport n a few daiz. My bigst thril kame from th veri nknsrnd Kori (Australian) Bustards
(Araeotis kori), 8 of thm, & th 2 Brolgas (Grus rubicundus) x th side of th rode O 20kz out on th wai
→2 th park. In th gorj tslf thr r floks of Pale-headed Rosellas (Platycerus adscitus) n berd Im not
uzed 2 seein. Our prolbm iz goin 2 b our 6-life az th van woblz & jiglz a treet & itz a ded givwai. Maib
wil hav 2 dvert th@ nrji 4 works. The famli r bak. Thei hav a laptop set up in thr nx. W havnt bn so
klose 2 naibrz sins w stopt goin 2 th Port Fairy Folk Festival & thr I uzed 2 get bak 2 th van drunk ftr
mdnite so it ddnt m@r. I just mite hav a nip of th ČEPKELIU TRAUKTINE (c ŠIAULIAI p1) th@ Egle
brort bak 4 mi ← lithol& (26/10. & c Melbourne → Sydney p15 (27/10. I hav lredi drunk orl
3)).(any excuse!!) N th uthr side w hav n ldli kupl n a hewj kravan hoo hav thr radio on.
(6/12/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 6 (nos 52 – 61 of Og))

21/7 /05 (Tropika – 1 (no 62)) . It was a dark and stormy night! But both wind and rain
eased by morning. The girl at the hotel told John to ‘forget it’ when he offered payment for the night’s spot
tucked next to the ablutions block (which helped shelter us from the full blast of the wind, allowing the
pop-up roof to go up.) The locals in the van park were all talking about the weather (7/12. th gO woz litrd
wth koekoenutz & frondz). Went to Taylor’s Beach, which has a local progress association which puts up
lots of “Do Not …” signs. Saw our first “ACHTUNG – DANGER: crocodiles” sign which occur frequently where
people are likely to launch boats, and near creeks etc. Sussed out Lucinda where we got advice from a
worker at the ritzy resort on the water what coconuts are best for liquid and for meat. He even went and
found a couple he reckoned were just right. John cracked one & we’ve almost eaten it all, as snacks during
the day. Queenslanders are very friendly and helpful (7/12. but HOaLnLdIyS sez thr r 2 meni boenhedz
& red-neks thr). While we were cracking the nut we noticed beautiful beetles (30/11. harlequin) on a
native hibiscus – mostly orange with metallic green patches, but one was a true jewel: sapphire blue and
deep crimson. The spot near the water (elevated by a rock wall) was where we had tea. Halifax (28/11. l8r
dsiedd 2 nkluedtn mie listv prmyr smorl townzn OZ) is a small village with heritage listed mango trees in
the central strip, and 2 old style 2 storey pubs, in one of which we read the paper. Then into Ingham for a
look around after establishing the whereabouts of the Tyto Wetlands Reserve, which we’ll visit tomorrow –
a 3.3k walk which will test my toes as they are still sore & wont tolerate too much pressure. Ducked into
the info centre to ask about crocodiles’ habits and got into a conversation with a volunteer info officer,
Alice, who is a 5th generation Italian. The Italians first arrived in the early 1900s, some from Argentina or
Brazil, and were augmented by immigration between the 2 world wars and after WWII, becoming the 2 nd
wave of cane farmer/cutters after Kanaka labour was stopped. Approximately 60%+ of the inhabitants of
Hinchinbrook Shire (capital Ingham) are of Italian (28/11. eg. jmnst IdSaTmRiIaAn hoo kmpeetd n th O
chmpnshps ystrdi n Melb) descent, representing 6 regioni and still speaking their original regional
dialects. That explained the amazing cemetry at Halifax with its room-sized tombs and ceramic tiled
graves. The tombs are Sicilian (28/11. DIC&ArSeTaRO (14/12. maeb ntrstd 2 no th@n studi n 2003
showd 18-22%v talianz thort  wernt koshr & shoodntb trustd) rkns w shood goe thr nxt yeer), Alice
claimed – not Italian! Ingham is a sister city to a north Italian town on the French border and has an Italian
festival each May. “We are like a museum” said Alice, because the old traditions still flourish here while
they have disappeared in Italy. Saw lots of new birds, but John can tell you about that. H ddnt mnshn th@
74
w rlso drank O a kup eech of COCONUT milk from a yungr (green) nut than th kind u uze 4 meet. A
pot (10oz) of beer @ th Halifax pub kosts $2.20 vs $2.90+ nMelbourne. Most kraktrstk tree n th  z
th buteful flowrn Afrikn Tulip tree wch, n@chrli, zntn naetv. Hz toze r korzn her big prolbmz – w karnt
→. Th berd Iv bn c-n n larjst numbrz n th kanefeeldz (wch r b-n harvstd now) z th Chestnut-breasted
Mannikin (Lonchura castaneothorax) nfloksv 50+. Sor a few Crimson Finch (Neochmia ruficauda)
2. A Jabiru (Ephippiorlynchus asiaticus) n th bankv th Herbert river (whr thr r meni CROCODILEZ).
Feeldz full of Magpie Geese (Anseranas semipalmata). A kmon berd heer u dont c ↓S z Brahminy
Kite (Milvus Indus). Th jeti @ Dungeness whr w 8 t z th same 1 I woz brort 2 ftr doin th Hinchinbrook
Island → (7 daiz) wen I woz heer n sept/oct 1997 (19/11. heerzn rport n th 4mv nletr (kwoetd ←
GULF TRIP (c 30/4/05 p1)) ie rote 2 Melbourn ftr th → (th dfrnt fonts 2wrdz th nd ndk8 dfrnt kulrz
n th rietn, sumtn ie dun n kkaezionz n mie ARTE POSTALE (17/12. “La Mail Art è apparsa nel
1962 quando l’artista americano Ray Johnson creò la New York school of correspondence
of art presentandosi come nuova corrente artistica Neo Dada e Neo Realista. Ma il
supporto della corrispondenza artistica risale ai tempi di Mallarme, Picasso, Matisse,
Calder che vi sono avvicinati senza pretese di farne una scuola a tutti gli effetti. Soli i
dadaisti rivendicarono successivamente un ruolo nell’arte postale, ma non continuò. Si
deve considerare che disegne, pitture, collage, grafica e timbrature “portano la busta al
rango di opera d’arte.” Per la sua continua ascesa e popolarità tale arte ha assunto un
ruolo di vedette internazionale. In tutto il mondo si organizzano continuamente progetti
per gli artisti e numerosi musei espongono opere di Mail Art (ad esempio il Museo Van
Gogh di Amsterdam o il Museo di Mosca)” – sent 2 mi ← “Florentina”, 8 avenue du Général de
Gaulle, 06500 MENTON – FRANCE x COaZdZrOiLaInNaI) daze): “Emergency Action Guide
(Hinchinbrook) ¶ I was lucky I had packed a seven day pack (6 nights) because that meant I could
spend 3 of them at Zoe Bay which comes closest to the tropical beach that I intend to go to in
paradise. My imagination was formed by films such as Kidnapped and Treasure Island that I saw as
a kid. It had a backdrop of magnificently dramatic mountains which produce sunsets straight out of
Tolkien. Each end of the beach is proscribed by a beautiful estuary in the northern one of which the
two largest crocs on the eastern side of the island live. It goes without saying that the jungle
(DŽIUNGLĖS in littlanian) goes right down to the high tide mark. I spent one day walking through the
jungle, parallel to the beach, using the sound of the waves on the beach as my reference point so as
not to get lost. Those DŽIUNGLĖS, ah, those DŽIUNGLĖS! As you walk south along the bay you
have a full view of the Zoe Waterfall at the bottom of the mountain and you know that there is a
magik pool at the bottom (and another at the top) in which you are going to perform your evening
washing ritual. In the pools there are alert fish which instantaneously snatch any march fly you throw
into the water. There is no end of fast flowing mountain streams in the wet tropics and on
Hinchinbrook Island. Their water is invariably a blue/green slightly milky colour and is crystal clear so
that what looks like 2 feet of water is usually over head high. The reason is that water is not stained
by tannin here as it is in the south. I spent one day rock-hopping up one of the streams at Zoe Bay till
I’d got 2/3 of the way up the mountain. Great pools, great waterfalls, great rock formations gouged
out by fast flowing water is a feature of the island. Who cares that you cant swim in the estuaries
which do look so inviting fringed by mangroves. The crocs can have them for their own as there is
plenty of other water and its always warm. But tell Rudi he’ll be too late to come here as they are
building a giant resort on the mainland just across the channel with facilities for 1,500 boats; and
where else can these boats go to except to places like Zoe Bay? On my 3 rd day there I came across
a twin-hulled craft parked in the northern estuary. I was visiting the spot for the 3rd time in the hope of
spotting one of the crocs. I had seen it enter the estuary early morning and the guy told me he was
staying the night. Then two ultra-lights landed on the beach; it was low tide and it’s a 3-4 metre one
here. I took all particulars on IDs and conscripted witnesses and today handed the info to the parks
people who said they’d pass it on to the relevant department (for prosecution); then I gave the same
info to the guy co-ordinating the protests here against the resort development so he could monitor if
anything is done by Parks. But if you saw the size and scope of the work already done (the channel
through the seagrass is being dredged through ‘world heritage seagrass beds’ under special
temporary permit) you’d know that the cause is lost and Rudi will not want to do the walk I did. A
week before I left, in a demo at the site, Mrs Thorsborne was manhandled by the developer’s
workmen in a peaceful rally they had here after the police got rid of the press so that they wouldn’t
observe them standing by as the assaults took place. She and her husband are responsible for
75
developing the trail (2/12. ie th ‘Thorsborne Trail’). They are locals from Cardwell. She is in her 70s.
Just for the record, 5 or 6 years ago the same developer tried to start a resort in Zoe Bay itself but
the protest movement managed to win that one. Not that Zoe Bay is the only spot worth stopping at,
they’re all good. I observed green sea turtles at Banksia Bay and then heard a fishing boat sneak into
that bay in the dead of night and not leave until the morning. Most of these things I am telling you and
Rudi are not noticed by the German Rudolphs who form a good fraction of the backpackers. They do
it in the minimum 3 days spending most of their time tramping and setting up and pulling camp. In the
evenings at Zoe Bay out come the cameras for the Tolkien sunset and ze krauts say “zat is zo
wunderfill”. They are great at the logistics of backpacking: they come and they conquer in minimum
time and they camp close to the metal boxes where you’re supposed to put the food so the kokonit
gnawing rats wouldn’t gnaw through your pack and they obey all the rules and they is very good
healthy campers. Bless dem! On my last night I decided to camp on the beach instead of Mulligan
Falls cause you couldn’t really be private at the falls (where I investigated the great pools above the
falls where they say not to go) and there was a group of six kids from Brisbane who I thought might
be ‘late nighters’ and I wanted to outwit the mozzies of the DŽIUNGLĖS. Ah! Yes I forgot to mention
them in my glowing report on Zoe Bay but there is a mozzie in every ointment as they say. There is
clouds of them in some spots here and at Zoe you cook and eat on the beach and then run back and
dive into your tent in the jungle where you zip up for the night. If you have to get out for a leak in the
middle of the night its curtains for you but I have my special plastic screw top container which I
snatch quickly from outside the fly screen by unzipping it only enough to shove me arm out. My
problem was that I was rebelling against the slather-on-the-RID culture that prevails here and
determined to see out the trip without using it once. And I won. What got me that way was that the
ferry operator who took us to the island had everyone (cept me) lather up at his expense for a 50
metre boardwalk through mangrove to the beach to start the walk (see no.1 on enclosed brochure). It
was a calculated decision of mine: next stop Ross River Fever or Encephalitis. Anyway I dodged
Mulligan Falls and went to the beach below and faced the front of the tent into a stiff breeze right on
the beach itself hopefully just above ze 4 metre tide and was getting heaps of sand blowing right into
the inside of the tent (I wanted the breeze also because my tent is a bit hot for tropiks) and the
mozzies were still there. CLOUDS OF THEM so that about 50 would be biting each hand while
another hundred would be biting my face and ears and eyelinds and another 100,000 would be
circling around me. And I couldn’t shake them without going right to the edge a couple of hundred
yards away (it was low tide). Then two dudes arrived. They was locals: one was an army guy and he
had his army pack with him and the other might have been part aboriginal and they were straight
from DELIVERANCE. Remember the film? I never saw it but I read the book. They were already
completely pissed and were doing flying jumps and landing on the ground on their backs, or heads or
whatever, just for the fun of it. The part-abo who would turn 29 at midnight had a compulsive
maniacal laugh which punctuated every sentence of his which they both uttered only in four letter
words and always screamin at the top of their voices. Besides being crazy they were the DECIBEL
BOYS (30/11. c ↑N p15). I drank a couple of tins of V.B. with them which they had unlimited
quantities of in a larger esky than I have ever known to be manufactured and which was brimful of ice
too. It turned out I had inadvertently encroached on their ‘private’ spot where they also lit fires
(against the strictest code here) and did as they pleased coz they woz lokills. In situations like this
very basic instincts prevail and I woz on red-alert but they were two and so I was real glad when they
went fishin cause the 29 year one woz getting aggro in a sneaky, crazy sort of way. I had to head for
the tent to escape the mozzies that woz murderin me but first I watched them in the twilight but I
neednt have cause I could hear them from a KILOMETER away cause they woz screamin at each
other ALL THE TIME. I didn’t succeed gettin into me tent without bringin a couple of hundred mozzies
with me then by and by I heard their screamin getting louder and louder and they woz back. They lit a
fire and for a good while all went quiet. I surmised they was having their dope session to which I had
also been invited. I was sweating it out in the tent with the mozzies getting NO SLEEP when they
finished their quiet session and a huge argument ensued punctuated by the compulsive laughter of
the crazier one. It went on for HOURS and they woz SCREAMIN the whole time. They woz screamin
things like “DIE YOU FUCKEN CUNT, DIE RIGHT NOW!” etc. I didn’t like the sound of the little guy,
and his mate (army dude) had told me that the little bloke had had a ‘head job’ done on him the
previous night by a local lass and didn’t even know about it. “That’s the sort of guy he is” the army
dude had said. I could hear them screaming about nightmares and knives and next mornin the little
guy (before he passed out) told me he’d thrown a ‘darkie’ and started turfing everythin out of his boat.
76
D.T.s I suppose. Anyway I woz considering my options coz I didn’t want to trigger anythin if they saw
me getting out of the tent and I didn’t want to spend the night in the DŽIUNGLĖS and I didn’t want to
lose my gear and I didn’t want to die. I got me knife out of me pack then kept checking that I knew
exactly where it was in the dark (I don’t carry a torch) coz if I was going to go à la the film
DELIVERANCE I was going to make sure it was gory and Id have an unexpected card up me sleeve.
You see, Andrew, I shouldn’t have read the book. Anyway their screamin was interrupted by the boat
starting up again and off they went fishin a second time. I was real glad because I thought they had
GONE HOME. And I had also thought I had heard the little guy scream to the other one earlier “YOU
CUT HIS THROAT”. And I actually finally got some shut eye as all the mozzies in the tent were no
longer botherin me cause they were already full of my blood (you should see the bloodstains on the
tent). But then, as any good scriptwriter would have known but I didn’t, I heard the engine coming.
“Oh NO!” I said and then I heard the SCREAMIN. And we woz back to square one. And then the
birds started chirpin and GOD was about to rise on the eastern horizon and the screamin subsided a
bit and I got out of my tent and was rolling up my sleeping bag (etc) and I heard the army guy say
“waky waky” and the crazy little nut said “he’s already up” and the army guy sort of sang “happy
birthday” to the little crazy ‘head job’ guy and I sort of sang just the two words “happy birthday”
separately, and the head case said “on your bike you cunt” AND GUESS WHAT! we sort of got
friendly, even the little cunt before he passed out and rolled onto the open LARGE can of spaghetti
and I had to share their breakfast of cooked in the aboriginal style in the sand and ash and I even
accepted a of ed to me by the army dude with his bare even though I’d seen him earlier go
into the DŽIUNGLĖS for a crap. What could I do? I couldnt have them think I was an ingrate and the
was delicious. Several kinds of (1/12. 1 f thm woz Coral Trout), cause they had caught
heaps, as you do here, but were taking the biggest ones back with them and the army dude said he
was keeping the very biggest one for a mate of his. They had a great method: because they only had
one esky and it was chokka and they had to put the into it they had to drink the beer to make
room. And they got heaps of so they had to drink real fast. They was so full that at brekky they
was spilling their beer on the ground. But they had this ethical approach where they couldn’t take a
single can back with them. That was their culture. So the last two cans which were ice cold they gave
to me as they left. Yes! We parted the best of mates and I promised to clean up after them and bury
the empties and cetera in a hole or the fire pit and so on and they offered to give me a lift to Lucinda
which I declined cause I was still waiting for the sun to dry out my tent cause there’d been a dew and
also if I hadnt turned up for the ferry with five others at 11am there would be a search party sent out
for me. And they became quite human in the end and I am alive to tell the tale and it was a great
walk. And I don’t blame them coz these guys are at the bottom of the pile and the big tourist
operators are screwing them even more than me. There’s no room for guys at the bottom of the pile
in the shiny ‘coconut palms and golf course on the beach front’ world of the TOURIST RESORT. ¶
May Truth Prosper forever! ¶ a … z” ). Hav ritn ths in a pub @ Luncinda O 2kz ← Dungeness whr w r
← 4 th nite. 2 finsh off I must knolj how xtrordnri bliejn ppl havbn 2 us from th momnt w set footn th
koast ystrdi evnn. Lso sum ppl ↓S mai not reelize th@ COCONUTS r found lyin O n th gO here like
rubshn nlmtd kwantis so no1 need evr go hungri & th frsh taistz far betr than nythn yule evr x n Vic. U
kan lso find th gO kuvrdn makadamia nuts but u hav 2 rowst em (2/2/09.  woz mstakn – tz r dfr
opkl d).
28/7 /05. 9.50am @ ‘early berd…’ 4got 2 mnshn ystrdi th@ I woz told x n dutch ♀ @ th
parks nkwiree th@ thr wer no KOKONUTZ n OZ wen th 1st setlrz rrived but th@ thei prbli floetd ovr x
thmslvz. Thsz Oi mplorzbl – thei must hav bn brort x th KANAKA laibrrz th erli setlrz brort wthm. Lso
neer wer w stopt 4 th nite w had found (n prv8 prprti markt 4 subdvzion → 5 lots) n frsh H2O spring
fed lake wth xlnt mossi lake bed 4 ntri but w wer 2 frietnd → swimn n kasev KROKODILEZ (th ejv th
mngroev woz nli n fue yardz ← 1 ndv th lake). Nkwiri @ n reelst8jnt rveelz th@ mmeed8 c-fruntj z
$700,000+ +d 2 th nrml vluev th prprti just 4 th pzshn. Dspite knstnt rmindrz O th vluev th koastl
rain4st (1v th main habt@s 4 Casuarius casuarius n hoom ovr 100 jungl treez dpnd 4 prpgashn) ovr
60%v wch hazbn kleerd 4 shoogr kane farmn (hujeli sbsdized x th txpayr) wch rlize hevli n larj doeszv
frtlizer (leecht soilz) wch dmj th reef, th rmaindr, muchv wchzn prv8 ownrshp, z b-n kleerd @n
trmndus r8 4 subdvzion & seln → rzort opr8rz, nvstrz etc. W r spndn sum tiem @ GARNERS BEACH
bkoz twontb th same n n fue yeerz tiem. Oyair. Jean Charles de Menezes woz mrdrd x b-n shot 1s
n th mowth, x6 n th hed, & 1s n th sholdr z hi lai helpls n th gO x pleesmn. Wlkum → nue O
ordr! (17/12. It is manifest in Oz with Revolting Ruddock’s deportation of two mentally ill men to their
77
countries of birth (Serbia and Turkey) despite the fact that they had both grown up here and have families
here. The Serb cant even speak Serbian. It shows how far the government and its so-called opposition has
declined into inhumanity (n The Age A2 2dai Ray Cassin rvuewn The Wreck of the Batavia x
sLiEmYoSn sez “ …how fragile is the thing we call civilisation, …how easily it can
unravel, …how quickly fanatics, thugs and charlatans rush to fill the gaps when it does.”)
(11/3/09. & lrst xmas  d ♂z 1drfl litl The Death of Napoleon wch  fownd nm mumz vz
nSYDNEY wth Amy Wittingz signchr nsd. Hoo  thr ni good  in OZ!?)) …. 12.15 @
Garners Beach ovrhung n klaskl TROPK stile x Calophyllum, hibiskus & uthr larj treez. Larst nite I
woke 2th soundv waivz braekn neer x (soe I nuetwz hie tied) @ O 3am. Wen I lookt owt th thr wer
fos4snt •s glown n th 4st flor. W wer parkt n the ● w had fownd n th rmnnt stripv koastl jungl @ th
bakv th beech. Thn I herdn xtrordnri korusv berd korlz wch I ddused wer b-n made x th bush terkeez
wch mi berd book sez r Orange-Footed Scrubfowl (Megapodius reinwardt) & wch make: “loud
crows, gurgles; often many birds call at once.” Th naikd ♀ (yung) & th horbl naikd old ♂ w sor
jewrn th dai ystrdi r not heer so w hav th beech 2 rslvz. Ths mornn @ Mission Beach I bort 3 BLACK
SAPOTE 2 riepn n th van. Hav just ritn n kard 2 DI&CrAeSaTRO (14/12. hoo sez thr r 3 waezv leedn
kkordn 2 th booda: 1) liekn KING (ie. outn frunt); 2) liekn SHEPHERD (wotchn oevr from th sied
4 straez & lost 1z); 3) liekn FERRYMAN (ie. taekn m abord liekn soeshl werkr) & LfOrVaEnCkE c/o th
St8 LiberiovVic & m O 2 rzume reedn WrAoLbSeErRt. Bkorzv th vri shalo grdientv th oshian & th
KROKODILEZ hoo liv n th stuari just O th krnr U DONT GO SWIMN. Hz reedn Dragon’s Lair x
PsEhNaMrAoNn wch ♀ bort ths mornn @ th newzjnsi. Just so you don’t get the impression I’m
incapable of reading anything but women’s magazines. Penman is described as “an historical novelist
of the first rank”. So there! …. 6.20. RUM & KOKE @ KOKONUTZ. N TROPK beech znt TROPK
wthout @ leest a hintv 6 (life bgan n th trpks). I woz → O serchn 4 NUTS 4 Hz klkshn wen I got torkn
2 n bloke mi own aij sitn mung sum shrubri @ th topv th beech but ♂ ddnt no wot kind thei wer z ♂
wznt n lokl. Fakt ♂ woz ← Colac n good ole Vic. Az w torkt he took off hiz t-shert & n bit l8r hiz
togz & lai bak wth hiz hed on his h&z (see, I keep telling you you’re irrestistible). I siedld → rthr
shli but doent feel gilti z l8r I noetst ♂ → parst wth n frnd. Wen H shftd pzshn bkoz owrz wozn shdoe
♀ dsterbd n naikd kupl but ddnt look @m & maid shor I ddnt look (3/12/05. Ha! To stop him looking I
would have had to throw a towel over his head!) @ th yung cuntri ♀ (hoo lookt arabl) whch I ddnt. I
fnsht reedn th Walzer book & like him I 2 wood like 2 dvlop mi own lngwj xpt I no Wittgensteinz
rite – lngwj z n joint prjkt (‘folie à group’) so Im werkn n sumptn H & n fue frendz mite ndrst& but probli
not reed. So it goze. 2moro w r leevn th Mission Beach  & its 20kzv tropkl beechz 4 mor TROPKL
beechz ↑N. W njoidt heer & I rkmndt. Th book Im startn, lso lent → mi x Frank, z Fires x
mYaOrUgRuCeErNiAtRe (hooz Hadrians Memoirs I fnsht alitl b4 w leftn th trip). W r leevn
KOKONUTZ wel b4 9.30 wen th BOOT SCOOTN wth COWBOY CARL z due 2 bgin. H sez tz n kind
of DANSN.
4/8/05. Th prolbm wth  zt 4sz u →2 th 2rst beet. U → from ● (markt az *z n th vri xlnt
FREE tairoff mapsv Tropical North Queensland) → ● 2 feechrz sumv wch r mor ntrstn than uthrz but
lwaiz drievn n lot & uezn plentiv petrl. Insdntli ppl hoo r seln stuf no th@ th 1st rulev good sailzmnshp
z 2 nevr stop torkn. Wv drunk ⅔dzv th botlv DRAGON FRUIT (n fue daiz bakn th rode ← Cowley
Beach w sorn plntaishnv wot lookt like 10ft hgh KAKTS plants wch wv lernt z wot thei gro n) ystrdi
evnn wch mai hav kntrbuted 2 n vri dreemfl nite. I dremt I woz blundrn O n n worm dark nite maikn
shor not 2 stepn th numerus poiznus I kood just dsern orl O mi feet. Then I dremt how th
knskwnsz of EVIL travl thru th BODY HUMAN & HISTORY like n nstoppbl waiv (Hitlr merdrz jwz
→ jwz dspozs plastnianz → muzlmz h8 west 4 sportn zrael (& nvaidn rark) → muzlmz blo ↑ n
wstrn kaptlz → w h8 muzlmz & trchr (kkordn 2 Amnesty International thei sai n th nuze ths a-m) em
etc → muzlmz h8 us mor → O) or SHOAH (but I prefr 2 thinkvtzn waiv bkozt haz peeks & trofs but
kntnuze →). Hoo wil b th nxt VIKTIMZ bsidez th bvius muzlmz (& thoze hooz 6ualti znt th NORM)? 1
thingz srtain - th KATASTROF (16/12. n n rtkln Diogenes, no 159, vol 49/3, 2002 jGeVaInL-
LcElBaAuUdDe klaimz wrnth prosesvn t s4maeshn komprbl2 th Enligh10mnt r th 4lvth Roman
Empire, r th Renaissance, r th Industrial Revolution & wchz krktriezd x knfuezion oevr th dfnshnv
‘man’ z lluestr8d 4 gzampl x th klaemv SpIeNtGeErR th@ “There is less difference between a
man and a great ape than there is between a sane man and a mentally handicapped
man.” (c ↑N p1). ŽVvIaRiBdLaIsS (20/12. ystrdae w got 7 frshH2O krae (ie woz rong 2 korl em
‘marron’ b4 (c Melbourne → Sydney p15)) & 3 eelz. Th eelz wer smoekt larst niet (uezn red gum);
ie had kraefsh suep 4 lunch @ hiz plaes 2dae; Danz maekn n goormae kraefsh meel 4 mi & H 4
78
2niet) reknz owr sensv DOOM zkplaenbl x th gzistnsvn O setv snarioz 4 dstrkshn (eg. nukular ,
BIOLJKL aejnts, nkreesnli ntgr8d gloebl sistmz kaepblv b-n SABOTAGED, posbltiv drmtk KLIM@K
chaenjz, posbltiv NVIRNMNTL dzastrz jue2 oe(17/12. You’re overdoing the ‘e’s – its really
annoying!)vrpoplaeshn & vrksploitaeshn etc etc) wch ddnt gzistn kuplv jnraeshnz goe. Ie gree &f yor
not skaird yv got yor hedn th s& - but ♂ sez th kwikr th betr!) z kumn farst. @ leest tz how twoz n th
DREAM (n th tropks ppl r lwaiz dreemn O th dreem haus thei r goin 2 bild x th koast, kkordn 2 th lokl
xprts n dreemz – th reel st8 jnts). Tz 9.15am & w → Innisfail. (ritn nxt2th toilt blok @ The Locality of
the Coconuts (hav fotoed th sine …)) 5.50 @ Holloways Beach ↑N of Cairns. Ownrshpv th lngwjv
SEX & 6ualti haz trdshnli bn n snshl lmntn th dploimntsv POWER both n DEMONIZIN n nmi &
nklaimn th ↑ MORAL GROUND th@ justfize hiz trchr & TOTAL LMNASHN. 1v th prlbmz 4 th
kolishnv th wiln z th@ ths wepn z so dfklt 2 dploi sins evn n th vuev meni n th west th muzlmz
r so knsrv@vn 6ual titudez & n dheerns 2 trdshnl famli vluze. @ leest wen thei dmnized th JWZ
thei kood klaim th@ brothlz & sleezi nite♣♣ & kabraiz wer ownd x thm (& thei praktsd sekrt orjeezn
spshl kkazionz & 8 chldrn & bernt ↓ hausz) but wer kan u th fingr gainst th muzlmzv OZ xpt th@ thei
send thr dortrz (so do hindooz & heepsv uthrz) 2 lebnon 2get mareed (thei shood get 25 yeerz 4 t
sum poli sed)? In fakt kkordn 2 H (I beg 2 dfr sins tz tiem 2 d-kupl 6 from breedn & famli vluze & 2
dploit 4 plezure & th dvrtizin ndustri) tz th west th@z morli dpraivd & redi 2 mploed. & nwai z Winston
HoWARd (17/12. ← Tent Posts x MIhCeHnArUiX (c 16/2/04 – 27/2/04 p8): “If suffering
released a sizeable amount of directly applicable energy, what technician would hesitate
to order its harnessing and to have plants built for that purpose? With words like
“progress, promotion, community need,” he would silence the ones on the bottom and
gain approval of those who, whatever the scenario, plan on being in control. You can be
sure of it.”) sed ystrdi nli sum r muzlm xtrmsts & thr r 000zv good muzlmz n OZ. Goodonya John,
thei need sum1 2 stik ↑ 4 em ….(7/12. 2 b kntnuedn Tropica – 2, god (allah (yaweh (Α & Ω (NO
NAME (21/12. c MEDITATION ON LAKE GAIRDNER) (16/12. soe 1s gaen ie rtern (c 27/11/00 –
7/12/00 p1) u 2 1v mie faevrt poemz: and suppose // that one old and very wise / as he
floated slowly, suspended / among the caverns of his life / breathing oxygen freely given / by
the garden of moss and weeds, / feeding on the bread that ed / like manna from his bowl
sky / became aware, in the garden of his mind / that every trembling, every darting /
however small / left a ripple on his soul, / and the garden that fed him freely / freely took the
food he gave, / till suddenly he knew he was only / one small link / in an everlasting chain //
and then // with the glassy  of age / he saw the / that dropped the manna from the skies //
what could he say to / the suffering and the b d? / what could he say / to the ing and the ?
/ what would he say / to the boisterous school of he ruled? // I am old and cannot teach
you how to d / I must do my rounds in the confines of the bowl / the d rd s to a song
we barely h / the that feeds you d s in the sky))))) wiln.) …. (6/12/08. tsoff Tropika - 2 )
After our usual morning start (coffee and paper) in Innisfail we decided to head for the Atherton Tableland
but 20ks up the road it began to pelt with rain so we did a u-turn and headed for Cairns which we initially
had vowed we wouldn’t visit (too big, too touristy) but the promise of relief from the rain was too strong.
Cairns turned out to be bearable (even quite pleasant – an artificial swimming lagoon complete with white
sand on the esplanade to make up for the disappeared beach (the tide goes out a long way in Cairns
harbour) was attractive) especially for John as he found a fish n chip shop which had coral trout (@ $7.90
for a cooked fillet!), the fish most people here have said is the best eating. He found it firm, white and juicy
but not as tasty as the Spanish mackerel he had before we left Innisfail and twice the price. We then
sussed out the first of a string of beaches north of the city (Machans Beach – homely, must have been the
original get-away beach area, no resort development noticeable; and Holloways Beach where we are now
at the boat ramp, which is bigger and more resort-oriented). The mossies, midges and green ants are
active now that the temperature is warmer and the air humid. Tonight we enjoyed the rest of the fruit wine
at a rotunda on the beach, followed by another glass of red (him) and an ice-cream (me) at Strait by the
Beach, a café/bar with magnificent driftwood chairs and tables right on the shore, surrounded by tropical
trees – very atmospheric and dreamy. After the fish shop stop we also checked out a van selling tropical
fruit – but only bananas and paw paw were available – everything else comes into season around
Christmas (thei lso had BLAK SAPOTE. I 8 th larstv mien ths eevnn z dzert 2goe wth th DRAGON
FRUIT wien).
11/8/05 (Tropika – 2 (no 63)). B4 w leev ths vri sluebrius & dzrtd (nli 3 ♀/♂ ♀/♂ n 3 )
kmpsiet ie shood mnshn th@ Kurandaz glori zth dubl roev treez ↑&↓ thmaenst wth huejli kmplk8d
trunks & kuvrdn pthiets; & th@ zth 2rst waev ebz nmid rvoe th brjneez eemrj & dark famleez sit O nth
gras. Skool chdrn ppeer nth streets n uen4mz, th priemri kidz ftn nbair feet. I doo not think th $$$
79
konmv th2rsts +z much2 thr lievz but th ♂s, spshli th 1z hoo r drunk, → O th streets lmoest zf thei
ownd thm. (8.05) …(13/1/06. This is a poem I wrote at the time:
At Kuranda
buses from Cairns
spill out germans, japanese, dutch and english
to invade the town’s markets and eating houses
haggling over cane toad skin purses
kangaroo scrotum coin pouches
crocodile hide wallets
eating MacDonalds and Kentucky Fried
walking the rainforest
cameras at the ready.
They don’t notice the sunbird
flashing gold onto the tables
for the crumbs;
they go back to high rise hotels in the evening

and the aborigines drift like smoke onto the grass

to claim the night.)

After the blatant in-your-face commercialism of Kuranda we fell for the much more covert commercialism
of the “private ownership of what seemed to be public” set-ups of the Mareeba Wetlands and Granite
Gorge. Both were signposted (and written up in the tourist literature) as if they were state or national
parks, but both were privately owned, fee-charging operations. The wetlands charges $10 p.p. for entry to
its 2 (artificially enhanced by earth dam walls) lagoons, on which is a very small population of very
common waterbirds, and the accompanying walks through surrounding savannah woodland, not specially
rich in birdlife. It advertises that it has a brolga and sarus crane population, but the woman collecting the
money said they only come to roost for the night. Since the place closes at 4pm there’s not too much
chance of seeing one. They also boast freshwater crocs, but when questioned, she said there was only the
one and it had been imported specially. Granite Gorge turned out also (after quite a lengthy drive) to be
privately owned, though the entry charge was reasonable at $5 p.p. However there is a lot of subterfuge
going on in this part of Queensland, where the information given in info centres (themselves usually
privately run) doesn’t point out what is free and what is charged for. There is consequently a big beat up of
local attractions, to the point where “dishonest advertising” could be claimed. We are now on the road to
Davis Creek NP, about 20ks out of Mareeba. The NP itself is very attractive, with the stream flowing over
granite, but the best spot was occupied and other areas were only suitable for 4x4s. Mareeba is a
prosperous looking town of 9600, many of whom are Italians so the supermarkets have some great
smoked and cured meats. Nfakt, Frank & &rea, ue wilb pleezd2 noe th@th larj talian (th old giez hav
thr sherts tuktn) prezns zn svliezn nfluens thrghout th trpks. Ue kan get deesnt bredn plaesz liek
Innisfail & w hadn propr kaffe 2dae nMareeba whr w herd mor talian spoekn than niwhr els nQLD. H
4got 2 mnshn th@ Mareeba Wetl&z charj $80+ 4 1 persn 4 kkomodaeshn nn sfari 10t/niet. Ie njoid th
→ but. Sor Double-barred Finch (Taeniopygia bichenovii) wch I doent f10 c & Pictorella Mannikin
(Heteromunia pectorolis) 4 th 1st tiem maeb. Iem ichn 2 rtern2th topkvth BAHÁ’Í but 1st iem goen
2havn taestnvn ueneek MANGO WINE korld ‘Golden Drop’ maed loekli O 10kz ↑Nv Mareeba wch w
bort 2dae @ th wienri wch H lso 4got 2 menshn (6.30) … Hmm… the NOZE zgood &th taest
not2sweet but ← th BAHÁ’Í. N thr shopfrunt thei havn poestr wthn sumrv thr maen bleefsn O 20
st8mnts. Th vri 1st 1zth moest duebius – Thrz nli 1 GOD! (20/1. God [Com. Teut.: OE. god :- Oteut. Type *gudoⁿⁿ. The
primary meaning has been given as ‘what is invoked’ and as ‘what is worshipped by sacrifice’.] ¶ i. Pre-Christian senses. 1.A superhuman person
(regarded as masc.: see GODDESS) who is worshipped as having power over nature and the fortunes of mankind; a deity. (Chiefly of heathen
divinities, but often with a Christian colouring.) 2. An image or other object which is worshipped; an idol OE. 3. transf. of persons OE.; of things
1586. 4. Theat. pl. The occupants of the gallery, so called because seated on high. Also rarely in sing. 1752. 1. They conteyne the wicked actes and
whoredomes of the goddes 1577. Come, let us go – to a land wherein gods of the old time wandered CLOUGH. Phr. The g. of day: the Sun. The g.
of war: Mars (Ares). The g. of love, the blind g.: Amor (Eros), or Cupid. The g. of wine: Bacchus. A feast, sight, etc. fit for the gods. 2. Thou shalt
make thee no molten gods Exod. xxiv. 17. 3. Sweare by thy gracious selfe, Which is the G. of my Idolatry SHAKS. The old mans g., his gold, has
wonne upon her FLETCHER. ¶ ii. In the Christian and monotheistic sense. The One object of supreme adoration; the Creator and Ruler of the
Universe. (Now always with capital G.) OE. †b. In ME. often used for Christ. So, in 16 th c., in the year of G . = Anno Domini. (Cf. Mother of God: see
MOTHER.) –1565. ¶ Phrases. With G., in heaven. Act of God (Law): see ACT sb. God’s truth: the absolute truth. On God’s earth: emphatic for ‘on
earth’. God eyld (ild, dild) you = God yield you (see YIELD). Got wot (arch.), God knows. b. By god that for us deyde CHAUCER. ¶ Comb. a. g. -
bote , a fine for crimes and offences against God; also an eccl. fine; -home nonce-wd., the home of God, heaven; also as transl. of ON. Godheimr,
the abode of the gods (W.Morris). b. possessive, as †God’ s body , the sacramental bread; God’ s book , the Bible; †God’ s house , (a)? a pyx,
(b) an almshouse [cf. F. maison Dieu]; God’ s image , the human body (Gen. i. 27); God’ s se rv ice = worship, an act of worship; God’ s
Sund ay , Easter day.) But how wood thei noe c-n zthei lso klaem zn baesk 10et th@ HEE znot noeabl? &th
jntl♂ nth shop xplaend th hindoozr rong2 korl thr deeiteez godz zthei rbetr thortvz @rbuetsvth 1 GOD
(19/1. doon thort xprmnt: majn th selzn owr bodeez kan tork2 eechuthr (eg x kemkl sgnlz & x lektrkl
80
mpulsz). Thei knot noe thei 4m th substnsv orgnz let loenvth huemn bodi bkoz thrnn dfrnt tiem  &
skael & thr langwjz 4md 2 s@sfie th dmestk needzv thr kmuenti. F th gzstnsv nziemz (th profts &
k@lstsv thr O) maeks sum suspkt thei maeb partvn larjr SKEMA wch thei wr nkliend2 dskrieb x th
werd GOD thr langwj woodb lmtd xth greemnts O meennz maed x thr kmuenti baestn thr ndvjewl
sensz. Thei wood majn GOD 2b liekn vri larj sel wth gzjraetd sel @rbuets (6/12/08. ∆∆  GOD z3 s
 - Pascal). Nth saem wae fn seed suspktd n ftrlief tmiet majn ternn →2n seedv masv siez zt
karnt majnn tree bkoztz owtsiedvn seedz kspeeriensz. W hav noe opshn givn th lmtaeshnzv langwj
but2 4m GOD n owr own imj – soe w maek him n2 nnjneer, nrktkt, nkkowntnt & giv him owr kwalteez
(justs, mersi, ♥, 6 (fth poeps r2b bleevd)) butn huej kwantiti.). Butf w hav ♂♀z @RBUETS,
♂FSTAESHNZ, & MSNJRZ (nstrukshnz) wot kan thei posbli b meenn x ‘2 noe’ wn thei klaem ♂♀
znot noeabl? Kan nithn b sed 2b noeabln ni uthr wae xpt x its @rbuets, ♂fstaeshnz & th msjzt
→z? Yes, sed Descartes – ie noe ie xst (ie heer th mornfl ♫♪♫zv th Curlew AKA BushThick-knee
AKA Burhinus grallarius) butz iev xplaind (19/1. c 15/4/02 - 26/4/02 p13) Descartesz ‘ie noe’
zth dskum4t btween th sensz & w noet & dskriebt x tz @rbuets (wch r vrithn wv dun &th trpdaeshnzv
th ♥ & vaeg mmoeshnz & 4boednz & maeb th O O) not orlv wchr mzuerbl (19/1. c Agamben n Homo
zn “optical machine constructed of a series of mirrors” n ↑N p1) (4 th kalbraeshnsvth nstroomnt
hav2b fienr than wotz 2b mzuerd &nth fienl nalsz w r th nstroomnt (th stndrd meetrn Paris znotn
meetr long – Wittgenstein (ie how wood ue noe wthr twozrwoznt?)) & th slietst tremr nth h& (thrz
lwaezn tremr (thsz wot w knot mzuer)) z trnsfrd2 wot th h&z mzuern). Saeint dfrntli: vrithn znot
noeabl nth wae thBAHÁ’Í klaem GOD znot noeabl & wn w sae w ‘noe’ enithn wr saent nth
saem waez th BAHÁ’Í sae ue noe th ♂FSTAESHNZv GOD. Torl dpndz nth meenn
(Wittgensteins ‘gramr’) w giv2th werd – NOE.
T hrz dae (25/2. Thur sday . [OE. Þunres-, pur(e)sdaeg, ‘day of Thunor or Thor’, infl. by ON. Þórsdagr; so (M)Du. Donderdag,
G. Donnerstag; Teut. rendering of late L. dies Jovis (It. giovedì, F. jeudi) day of Jupiter.] 1. The fifth day of the week. 2. Ho ly Thur sday . a.
Thursday in Rogation Week, Ascension Day ME. b. Maundy Thursday, Sheer Thursday 1645.) 18/8 /05 (Savannah (no
64)). (6/12/08. A biography of Thor (from various sites found by Googling): “Thor is the son of Odin and the
giantess Jörd (Jord, the Earth). Thor owns a short-handled hammer, Mjolnir, which, when thrown at a target, returns magically to the
owner. His Mjolnir also has the power to throw lightning bolts. To wield Mjolnir, Thor wears the belt Megingjord, which boosts the
wearer's strength and a pair of special iron gloves, Járngreipr, to lift the hammer. Mjolnir is also his main weapon when fighting
giants. Thor travels in a chariot drawn by the goats Tanngrisnir ("gap-tooth") and Tanngnjóstr ("tooth grinder") and with his servant
and messenger Þjálfi and with Þjálfi's sister Röskva. The skaldic poem Haustlöng relates that the earth was scorched and the
mountains cracked as Thor traveled in his wagon. According to the Prose Edda, when Thor is hungry he can roast the goats for a meal.
When he wants to continue his travels, Thor only needs to touch the remains of the goats and they will be instantly restored to full
health to resume their duties, assuming that the bones have not been broken. Thor gave his name to the Old English day Þunresdæg,
meaning the day of Þunor, known in Modern English as Thursday. Þunor is also the source of the modern word thunder. Many writers
(Saxo, Adam of Bremen, Snorre Sturlason, Ælfric of Eynsham) identified Thor with Jupiter. The comparison can be borne: both are
gods of the sky that control thunder and lightning, are children of the mother Earth, both have a son who is a god of physical strength
(Hercules and Magni), and were at some time considered the most powerful of the gods. The oak tree was sacred to both gods and
they had mysterious powers. Thor is to kill Jörmungandr and Jupiter, the dragon Typhon. Tacitus identified Thor with the Greco-
Roman hero-god Hercules because of his force, aspect, weapon and his role as protector of the world. Parallels with varying degrees
of closeness can be found in other northern mythologies, such as Taranis (Celtic), Perkūnas (Baltic), and Perun (Slavic), connected
either to thunder, to oaks or to both. Perkūnas (Lithuanian: Perkūnas (3/4/09. LfOrVaFnCkE  @  2da th@ v n
  ZEUS - Saturday 24/6/06 ( Og no 72)), Latvian: Pērkons, Prussian: Perkūns, Yotvingian Perkus) was
the common Baltic god of thunder, one of the most important deities in the Baltic pantheon. In both Lithuanian and Latvian
mythology, he is documented as the god of thunder, rain, mountains, oak trees and the sky. Perkūnas is pictured as middle-aged,
armed with an axe and arrows, riding a two-wheeled chariot harnessed with goats, like Thor.”) I brort H 4000kz (tz probli O
15000kz → hiwae1 O OZ) 2 n ☼↓ (vri1 woz foetografn) & ♀ sed twoz ordnri!! L8r @ niet O 1½ kz
↑N w wer @kt x mrdrus mijz. Ftr x2 howrz w got owtv bed & spraedth nsiedvth van & went 4 n→.
Tdunth trik 4 nfue mnitz & then w wr ndr @k gaen. W wernt evn shor thei wer mijz zw koodnt thm
ntl th ☼↑ thsmornn. Their so tieni thei eezli → th mesh wndoez but thr bietzr feers. Tzth pries w paed
4 ▲n neer ♂groev. Nfue mor bitsv nfo O Karumba & : thrz zink proessn dun x Pasminco (28/2.
16/2/04 – 27/2/04 p6) butth loeklz hoo need werk kmplaen th@ thei thr werkrz n (2 weeks on, 1
week off) thoe thei had promst werk 4 loekls wen thei set↑; nNormanton, Karumba & Karumba Beach
th RAPTORZ aka BERDZVPREI aka HORKS aka BLAK KIET aka Milvus nigrans r x farth moest
vzbl komn berd zthei konstntli O vrhed; th komn finchzth Double-barred Finch (Taeniopygia
bichenovii) but thsmornn ie sor sum Zebra Finchz (Taeniopygia guttata) nbit owtsied town; wv bn
n 00zv Brolgaz & Sarus kraenz nth  of10 riet x throedsied – mie sez Sarus wr 1st rkorddn

81
Queensl& n 1967 but H red nn nshnl parks bord th@ reesnt DNA testn shoez thei hav bn heer
40,000 yrz; n ♀ w torkt2 sed ♀ hadnt n eni kraenz but thr vrwhr; this  zth EPI-●v KROKODILI
POROSI (thmoest daenjrus KROK (11/2. ← Warringal Orchid Society inc. (Heidelberg) vwch H
zn mmbr: “ An old snoozer in Queensland had owned a large property for several years.
He had a dam in the next paddock designed like a swimming pool. He put in picnic
tables, some mangos, avocado and papaw trees. ¶ One evening the old farmer decided
to stroll down to the dam, as he hadnt been there for a while. On the way he grabbed a
bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. ¶ Coming closer he saw it was a bunch of young sheilas skinny-
dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the
deep end. One of the sheilas shouted to him ‘We’re not coming out until you leave!’ ¶
The old bloke frowned. ‘I didn’t come down here to perv on you ladies swimming starkers
or make you get out of the dam naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said ‘I’m here to feed
the crocodile.’ ¶ Moral: old fellas might walk slow but they can still think fast.”) nth O O)
nOZ & 2dae w rednth ppr n POROSUS 8 n ♂ neer Cooktown; w went → kravn □ 2 showr etc & wosh
kloethz &th oenr let us doot 4 0; ie rekn twoz 30ºC ystrdi & ie rekn twilb gaen 2dae … → ↓S (n10d
2bn Melb mid sept) → whr th roed †z th Flinders rvr 60kz ← Normanton (heer 4 th niet; POROSI nhbt
th poolz; sor th 3 lrjst berdzvth  nth saem poolv H2O – Brolga/Sarus, Pelican, Jabiru (5.25))… The
sunset was spectacular last night only for the fact that the people in the pub were lining the boundary of
the beergarden filming, photographing or e-mailing it on their mobiles. The only person who seemed to be
photographing it for another reason than that everyone else was, was a guy down on the beach with a
tripod shooting the pelicans which landed right on the dot, as if for the purpose. The after-sunset sky was
spectacular though – deep orangey red which made the shallow sheets of water seem silver against the
mud-flats. Ive been trying to work out what the Grey Nomads do on their journey – this is probably a non-
comprehensive list: a) drive a lot b) park in caravan parks for lengthy periods while the women wash and
cook and read and knit and yack on to each other and the men fish or read or yack on in the pub c) make
lots of cups of tea/coffee whilst on the road (morning T, lunch, afternoon T, dinner, supper cuppa). A hell of
a lot of them have such huge rigs (caravans, trailers, boats, extra car, bus-sized motor homes) that they
cant get off the bitumen at all. Some have destinations in view – Tamworth Country Music Festival, Motor-
Home Conventions, Golf Tournaments etc. Many of them do all the tourist spots. Some of them have
absolutely no idea about the country they are travelling through – the woman of the couple we met today
in the shaded BBQ near the Karumba Sports Complex didn’t know that the big birds on the side of the
Normanton-Karumba road were brolgas. All that however means absolutely nothing (20/2. meenzn bit) as
most of them are obviously enjoying themselves.
25/8 /05 (Outback (no 65)). Larst nt nbed  woz n owt @n brliant kold nt sk
&  shivrd @ m nsgnfkns @ thejv nrlaeshn (24/3. Kate sent this: Holmes and Watson are on
the moors in the middle of the night. Holmes: “Look up Watson. What do you observe?”
Watson: “Millions of stars and the unending universe.” Holmes: “And what do you deduce
Watson?” Watson: “That we are puny and insignificant in the vast scheme of things.
What do you deduce Holmes?” Holmes: “Some sod has stolen our tent!”) but thsmornn 
laen Hz rmz (8.30am). →↓S …. ((throedz wv bn → sins Nor♂ton (→ Savannah Wae) r: Gateway to
the gulf byway (aka wills developmental road) → Kyuna; the matilda highway
(landsborough highway) → Winton; the min min byway (the kennedy developmental road)
→ Boulia; channel country byway (diamantina developmental road) → goez → Windorah. 
v bn nthis roed wthn loedv skoolkidz oevr 35 yrz goe whn twoz dert. Now muchvtzn ld strip 2 + 2
thndls peregrnaeshnzv (24/3.) thgrae noemadz ( rkst thold bloek wmet @th Combo H2O O whr
thei wer hedn & ♂ sed “Who cares! We just go up and down the highway – where else is
there to go?”) lk us) → …. Bedourie (ptrl - 136c. (rkord); mixt gril - $25; sosjz - $16.60; mutn
chops - $21; baekt beenzntoest - $8.20; 2 slszv toest - $2.75. Theezrth prsz but w nli bort ptrl,
brgr & kofi. 35 yzgoe thkuntrsd woz dust&gibr now brolgaz & bustardzr browzn nth green  & 
Pink-d Duk (Malarcorhynchus membranaceus) n nklaepan. Windorahz 400kz wae.) → ….
(150kz) → †nvth Diamantina rvr chanlz (thmaen chanlz floen strong wch rmndd mi Colin Malone
had sedt had bn floen @ Combo H2O O 2 weeksgoe; Australian Pratincole (Stiltia isabella) wr rguelr
longthwae; ndr thbrj  dstrbd larj kmuenl nstsv 00zv Fairy Martinz (Hirundo oriel) whn  hadn
wosh; ftrth 1st 30kzv ld roedt hazbn good gravl (70kz +/howr) vwchthrzn nuthr 50kz b4 tz ld gaen; th
floen H2O vnchrli just peetrz owt xpt whnt reechz Lake Eyre ftr vri big fludz) ….  woz rong O thbch
, tz 212 ← Bedourie & w hvnt reechtt. Wr t 4thnt nxt2th roed.  woz dspointd 2 havn kar →x

82
nlitl wl bak zt wozth 1st , thrwzt kood hav bn w wr thnli 1z nth roed xpt 4 3 roedwerkrz 40kz bak.
W hav †t ← thDiamantina Shr (zbigz denmark) → thBarcoo Shr wch H fndz vri evov z Noel
(12/3. 7/2/02 – 22/2/02 p14,15) uezd2 sae “I’ve got the BARCOO ROT”.
1/9/05 (Wingdings (no 66)) . Good news! Our initial disappointment at the imminent end
of the trip was replaced with relief when John discovered that one of the back corner hooks which holds
the pop-top down when driving was still in place. He remembered opening it but he either remembered
wrong or it flukily snapped back into its holder after he’d released it. Whatever. He beat himself up for
awhile but I was just relieved we could continue with our planned circle back to the coast. (31/3/06. Come
to think of it, perhaps he was just beating himself up because he wanted to come home early so I could
start typing – I wouldn’t be surprised. The lot of the writer’s wife is not as easy as it seems - just remember
Mrs. Tolstoy.) Passed through some very attractive country all the way along the Gwydir Highway to
Grafton with heaps of byways to explore including a magnificent river, the Mann ( Monday 1/10/07),
which is island and boulder-strewn along long stretches and demands further attention. We’ve earmarked
the whole stretch of the highway from Moree to the coast as a future trip. Stopped in Inverell for coffee
and paper. The shop with a coffee machine charged us $9 for 2 mugs (1/4. vvri bad kofi). Stopped at Glen
Innes for a snack (hamburger (ordinary) for him and 3 potato cakes for me) and South Grafton for petrol.
All three towns had interesting old buildings in their main streets and looked comfortable. The country is
very dry for this time of year though and lots of young trees have died. We are now at the Sedgers Reef
Hotel in Iluka, an old-style single-storey sprawling wooden pub right on the water which is a developer’s
wet dream.. Drinkn RUM&KOEKS. v d x 2 z, lrst 4 thtrp. Sins w wr lrst hlotsv nue Ø▲
(rsleepn oevnt) NWHR snzv gon↑. Wv bn nth N koestv NSW nnuemrbl z but v nvr ‘publsht’
thjrnl nz. W plan 2b nSydney nn wk. Hz n The di Medici Bride x “New York Times Bestselling
Author” Heather Graham. & l  ue zn xprt – Sedgers Reef Hotel nth 4shrv Iluka z 1vth GR8
DINKUM (uel nvr HOjWoAhRnD h) OZZI PUBZ.
8/9/05. Smiths Lake ← Forster (4 ppr & kofi oevrlookn thH2O) → Brooklyn (nth
Hawksbury rvr; hadn v grlk brd & grlk prornz washt ↓ wthnn swanki rstront oevrlookn thH2O gn)
→ Beecroft (dropt nn Rasa hoo  wr xpktd mdrvoe 4  ns@rdae & @ Eglez (3/4. Savannah p6)
nth eevnn n ☼di) → Epping (mumz ngoodshaep; w showrd etc; 8 ngr8  zuezuel; m O 2 Gift
and Mystery x Pope John Paul II wch woz n ♀r shlf (givn 2 ♀r wn ♀ woz krook x Milda); m
drnkn nHunter Valley Shiraz). (7.17pm) …
(6/12/08. Completion of Thursdays from folder 7 (nos 62 – 66 of Og))

25/5 /06 (Litho Trip 2 (on CD ttld: ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE)). Ddnt get bak til
1am ystrdae ftr dropping n2 th LITERATU KAVINE 2 chk out th n nth evening. Ray had sedt woz priti
wld & 1vth rsrvsts had n nkuplv fts ther. Hi sed th  th@ goe thr rov th knd th@ no1 evr
reedz. Sounds lk m kndv n so poptn 4 nbeer nth wae bak 2 thhoetl. Thr r 2 maen roomz nn
xtrordnri sumtuous setn & a smorl bar. Th bar & th room nxt 2 it wer pakt. Sevrl drunks wr stgrn O & n
neebri8d ♀ woz trn2 dans. Nkupl had thhots nchuthr. It rmndd miov th hipi n whn  woz
nstuednt. In thoez daez evri 2nd g ue torkt 2 ina pub ftr mdnt wozn POET. In th uthr room thchairz
wer rjd z4n lekchr & nkroedv , meniovthm ldrli, wr quietli waetn 4 proe dnz 2t. Ternd owt twoz
npoe reedn, nnuel vnt wch wnt thrue thnt orz longz thr wr poets. Thvent woz oepn 2 eni1 so 
put mi naem ↓. Moestvth poets wr eevn oldr thn mi. 1 ♀ woz n misz TARABILDIENĖ & whn   ♀r
th@ npaentrv th@ naem had bn nkloes frndv m mumz it ternd owt 2b nkloes relo. Moestv thpoemz
wr dlverd n npartikuelr dklama stl wch maeb pkuelier 2 lthoez wth liltn voice, prgn porzz, &n far
away xpreshn, orlv wch ie fownd nbit korny. I woz aebl 2 kntrbuet 3 short poemz ie foundn
Savannah (p1, 2) & Windings (p12) wch  had brort 2 owt & nfue ssortd  rmmbrd &
noetd↓ oevrn potv beer nth uthr room b4 thvnt startd. W wr orl d ltl prznts 4 owr f4ts & ie gotn litl ltv
15 paejz x n terksh poet ritn nn skrpt wch  doent rkgniez.  spoeztz kaepblv bein dkoe z ie kan
sum numbrz wch r kleerli daets. Tz prntdn Istanbul (4 O 1,600Lt (ie $A800) ue kan spnd 4 daez thr ←
Vilnius) & rathr ppropr@ 4 mi. Ie gaev th 2 gzamplz  hadv m stuff 2 Romualdas Lavrynovicius
(7/12/08. rlv weks rgo  ed Wednesday  ♂m) hoo dlvrd hiz stuf nn dfrnt stl 2 th rst & wth n
accent sum1 sed woz pro i rus. Hi told mi hi woz nfluenst x wot hi had herdn NEW YORK. Hiz ez
INSPUB@GMAIL.COM. Twoz orl vri njoibl & th mor substancial partv th nt woz just O2 bgin but 
left koz  promst H  woodnt rek m helth. Bak @ thhoetl  d k nflaskv Čepkeliu soe  woodnt
hav2 pop npil 2goe2sleep & twerkt. Prior2 th@  had spnt muchv thdae maekn  kalls ftr buying n

83
new 200 point (30Lt ($15)) kard koz  had 4got th 1st kard  got nth th previus dae. It happns
bkoz m going def & doentth ♫ @ thnd z lowdliz uthrz doo. M meetn ŠVElIaSiTmYaTE @ her
plaes @ 11 2dae. Hadn gr8 deelv trubl getn thrue 2 KABArIaLsAaITE (7/12/08. doin frthr studeez
nSTUTTGART, Germany) z ♀ wozn hosptl wth Meilute 4 moestv thdae whr hrwoznt werkn. Wil
k@ch↑ wth ♀r @ 7.00.  Gintarė 2 f ♀ had eni mssjz ← Vaidas or Šarūnas.  SaTlRbUiNnGaA
(7/12/08. rrvn wth prtnr Melb 2moro) hoo wonts2 uez mi . ♀ sez ♀ nowzn plaes whr  kood
prop nDruskininkai @ 40Lt/niet. Th@s reel cheep z tzn rzort  sOd x buetfl 4st. Mt taek ♀r ↑ nth@
z  doent wont 2 staen Vilnius. Wil meet taŽuIrŽiYuSs @ 2 2moro. Koodnt get thrue2
JOrNiAmIaTsIS nsptv much trin. Tz ntrstn th@ orlth lithoes ← Melbourne (KOmZyLkOoVlSaKsIS
wilb heer 2moro) rn kntakt wth chuthr – subset ovn subset ovn trb. Wn ie woz havn nbeer onth s
dwalk @th ndv Gedimino (thLitvaks date their presence from th v his n and th bordersv th@
kingdom) Prospektas 1vth yung lkeez hoo p@rol thstreet rskt mi ninglsh f spoek nglsh & wn  sed
yes hi told mi a sob story O how hi woz hoemlss & wn ie gaev him orl mie chaenj hi wontd mor. Whn
th 2nd druggi kaem along  woz torkn 2th waetrs nlitho soe hi went parst mi 2 thnxt taebl sayin “Ill
ask th kraut” (“kraut”: “Herr” nlitho). Whn th3rd 1 kaem ie sedn litho “aš jau daviau” (“v givn lredi”) &
hi went straet on parst. M big success woz  got thrue 2 H nMelbourn wthowt nhitch. Th rsepshnst
let mi uez ♀r fone 2 O → H. ♀ nswrd straetwai & mdi8ly O bak. Ben & Dan hav lredi got th fernchr
bakn plaes ftr thplastrng. H soundd fien.  woz aebl 2 tel ♀r  woz maekn n much betr djustmnt 2th
chaenj thn larst & wozn good hlth. Danz goen2 paent thstudi nm bsns. ♀ ddnt bleev mi wn  sed
 mist ♀r. & get this: COLLINGWOOD beat GEELONG x oevr 100 points …. 11.30. Spent th ntier
dae torkn 2 threloez & twoz xtreemli njoibl. Flt rlaxt nthr kumpni zf wd noen chuthr nlong tm. M
bgnn 2feel @ eezn Vilnius.  perpsfully 2 whr m goen lk nloekl. Woz @ Laima & Alėz 11-
5.50. → Rasaz (stopn nli 4 1 beer nn nontrst bar 4n ‘didelis’ (500) @ 2.2Lt (ie $1 vs th 5.5Lt in
Gedimino Prospektas)) whr  ddnt leev til 11.00 wn ♀ droev mi hoem. Alė xplaend  woz rong O
thmeennv GAIDYS. Tzn przon werd 4 th ♂ hooz 4st2 ssuem th ♀ roel gainst hz wil. Thpoliet werdz 4
gay r ŽYDRAS (rfrn 2th kleer bluevthskie) or GĖJUS. ♀ lsoe sed thmanrv reedn poetri znotn eest
ropian wae butn spsfk litho thing. Rushnz doot wthn much mor eevn ntonashun thoe stil not @ orl
prozaik. Ahkmantova & Tsvetayeva ddnt sound like Maironis. Oh yes, Albina sez ♀ thinks th
Vilnius Monthly maib O2 fold↑. m O 2 get 2 doo sum rius  wochn. Rasa sez twood suit ♀r 2taek
mi → Labanoras on mundi 5th. Soe m goein 2 Druskininkai s@rdi 27th – frdai 2nd & wil tr 2 m
verixlnt room80 4 s@ 3 & ☼ 4.
1/6/06. (9.30am) Tz th1st daev sumr but  kan thrueth tz kloudi &tz d rn thnt l
k vri uthr mornn v looktowt. Last nt ftr reedn th lthoe vrzionv th dvnchrzv MM (7/12/08. nth v
ltho pu shr KRONTA)  slpt betr than 4 nlong . Ddnt get 2sleep like th@ nn sngl kkaezion wn ie
woz h2y rgoe. Nli had2 get ↑ 2ws 4 nleek wch showz wn  gett rt wthn full daev →n &
not vrdoo thgrog m lk niuthr 64 yold. Nfakt mi sleepn p@rn zth norml1 ie hav nMelbourn. Got↑
ftr 9am. 2niet @ 7 Albina wil brng O n2nd kopiov th MM t zlaeshn soe ie kan giv nkopi 2Vaidas.
She’ll show me nnue cheepeet 2. Mie lithos lowzi & ie kant judj thkwaltiov tht zlaeshn. She hzhd
njernoe frnd nth US lookt oevr & maek sum krkshnz but she sez thoe grm@tkli korkt tz liekli 2 rtaen
sum vidnsv bn t zlaetd x n4nr. Shez sntt 2n street mag nVilnius wthout rspons. Howvr Vaidas znoen
4 hz xlnt lthoe langwj &f he lieks th iedia & 1ts2 lluestraett he can doo thnssri krrkshnz. Maeb. Tz d
vri dae sins iev left Melb. (H sez tz kold &  thr 2 but no  wch th gardn needs badly; b4 ie lft
HOaLnLdIyS told mi th@th La Nina prdkshn x th US met buero wch woz nevr ndorst x thOZ buroe
zprobli rong kkordn 2th laetst figrz) but ie nli gotn fue  rn th → ystrdi. Ued b mad 2b wthowt
numbrla heer. Iem off 4 nuthr daev →n ift doeznt  2 much, hoepfuli mainli offtrak. Tz O 4
nMelbourne wth blu ski orldae! 1drf thlitho expats nOZ rmmbr th@ thei nvr gotm heer? …. d th
prvius jrnl ♪♫ → Melbourne. Bort graeps (iev bn x-in graeps & strorbrz vri dae 2 maekup 4th d n
nmie ksluezvli litho t); bort nflarskv Čepkeliu Trauktinė (nli thkiend wth thpikchrvth priez mdalionz zni
good, thuthrz r 2sweet). Rtrnd → Nemunas 2leev thstuf thn → Bebenčiukas 4 lunch. Twoz zgood
nmeel ziev hd &iev kumbak heer gaen 2givn dskrpshn. Nli now @thndvth week wn iem nlv daez
from leevn hv ie lrnt how2 rdr proprli. Ue kan rdr ½ porshnz soe ie gotn ½ porshnv lentini su mėsa
(gO meet raptn blini), nbowlv tmrtoe & kuekmbr salad (topt wth sowr kreem zthei doovrthn heer &
sprnkld wth chievz etc.), nservv silkės su burokais (pikld hrng wth gO pkld beetruet topt wth sowr
kreem etc.), & n bokalas (500ml) vdark Utenos beer. Twoz ndlshuz & eevn helthi  (ie koodnt hav 
betr) ORL 4 8LT! (Danius sez ue kan doo betr ndonezia). Nli sliet ng@v wozth angloepop nth raedio
84
(thav konkrd thOv lithoel&). Nth wae → kavine ie hd met th z li goein thuthr wae & w greetd chuthr
liek old frendz. Ie sed “iem goen 4n feed b4 th buildn werkrz get thr (4r5 kum @ 12 eech
dae)” & he rplied “aha, sorry, I go to massage now”. @th Bebenčiukas ie herd thwerd ‘Plungė’ nth
raedio. Ts th naemv nfaemus MASAKR whr 4r5 men rsed2 havgon from haus2haus mrdrn O 1000 
. Thvnt woz thsubjek vn (nrus) nSoviet . Thr woz rlsoe nmaejr gtoe thr. 1vth kuezd xth naemv
Pabrėža woz nth lithoe kmuenti nSydney nth erli daez vth balt mgraeshn → Oz. Mossad kaem n4
him but hed lft nltl b4. Sum yeerz l8r his wife lft. Tmaeb thkmuenti kannt kkuezdv hvn harbord him
zthei mae notv noenvth kkuezaeshnz gaenst him. Fthei dd noe thei maent hvnown ft woz true zn
thoez daez n NKVD sponsrd magzeen wch woz snt2 meni ddrssv (noe dowt suplied x thr man/men
plantd nth kmuenti) lithoe migr rueteenli kkuezd meni kmuenti mmbrz, spshli nleedr pzshnz vth
merdrv . Meniov thkkuezaeshnz wr bviusli & rdklusli nntrue soe how koodthei hav noen fsum wr
true? Howvr tz ndrst&a 2mi fsum  think orl lithoez rmrdrz bkoz soe fue wr knvktdv kriemz & meni
mustv →W. Th kkuezaeshnv DNIAL (zx rZoWzLe) howvr ztrue: ie shood noe. Soe ue see how
eevn wiel eetn thbstv meelz @th Bebenčiukas iem naebl 2skaep th v HISTORY.(2/7/06. It would be a
step forward if you could forgive yourself for things that were done when you were only a month-old baby.
The holocaust survivors apparently suffer from similar feelings that somehow it is their fault that they
weren’t shot, gassed or worked to death. But there were some innocents among the deniers, the death
dealers and the simply indifferent and they should unshoulder their assumed burdens lest they make
themselves mad. Is this your anthem?:

“that thing in my mind I thought was a stone

is really diamond
unassailable, indestructible
firing off its irridescent ligtning
to strike when I am least prepared
freezing the smile just started
making rigid the moment’s relaxation
not susceptible to time’s erosion
not buriable under duty or love
not uprooted by desire
or quarried with the sharp edge of reason
it is always there
in the cage of my skull
flashing the message –
never forget
nor seek forgiveness”.

(7/12/08. tz lft vtz own rkord now t (18/3/09. t “It is foolish to think that human justice can
eradicate it. It is an inexhaustible fount of evil; it breaks the body and the spirit of the
submerged, it stifles them and renders them abject; it returns as ignominy upon the
oppressors, it perpetuates itself as hatred among the survivors, and swarms around in a
thousand ways, against the very will of all, as a thirst for revenge, as a moral
capitulation, as denial, as weariness, as renunciation.” – Primo Levi  The Truce))). Orl
theezvnts took plaes larst snchri oevr 60 yeerzgoe & hardli ni1 kairz nimor; ys iev groen old …. 8.35.
Ftr lunch wnt2th mzeum vth prtzn rzis10s zth broeshuer sed twoz oepn wnsdi2☼di buttwoz kloezd.
Thr woz nvri nstrstn map nth sumriezn th faktsvth partzn wor nth area wch ie koodv uezd soe ie
wntn 2rsk 4 nkopi & nbrisk yung woman 2 th ‘kloezd’ ♪is &  “thr th daez” & td2 off az ie
kmplaend th@ th broeshr woz rong & ie had2 leev ns@rdi etc. Soe she trnd O & kaem back & d @
th noetis gain & left. Ddnt getn chans 2rsk whr ie miet getn kopiov thmap. Nuthr woman sed wr not
knktd 2 thmzeum rsk thm but ie ddnt koz ie thort ie miet get shoutd@ & thprtznz wrntv soe much
mport 2 mi. Ie havnt xpeerinst ruedns like th@ nOZ. Wnt 2th Žydu muzieju 4 th Ž. Lipsico gzibshn
but twoz shut 2. Thn 2 Švendubre gaen, partvth wae x kumps thrueth 4st. Th mossy florz zsoftz
nm@rs but soon th mozzeez get ya. @ Švendubrė ie rskt 2 bloeks ie woz torkn2 how meni ppl livd
thr & thei sed thr uezd 2b 300 but thrr fuer now zppl  out. Moestv thm r nmarried thei sed xpt 2th
botl. Ie sor sum yung men hoo lookt ndebt 2t & trnd O 2goe ndfrnt wae. Th wr b-n brort bak
from thfeeldz & ie woz maezd 2 see thm get 2n crossroad & hedoff ndfrnt drkshns vthrownkord 2thr
ownrz ndfrnt prtsv thvilj. Nth wae bak ie sorn Paprastoji Medšarkė (Lanius Collurio), sevrl Kekštas
(Garrulus Clandarius), & nth laek nKlykuolė (Bucephala clangula) wthn yung1. Neer Švendubrė
thlrjst vth pjnz Keršulis (Columba palumbus) zkomn. Thnli sproe iev seen zth Karklažvirblis (Passer
85
montanus) wch ue getn Vic 2 buttz rair & nli nroorl dstrkts. Got bak just b4 Albina rrievd @ 7pm. She
tookus 2th moest buetful rstrontv old charm iev evrbnin korld Dainava whr ie paed 10.5Lt 4n xlnt
meelv baekt & nbeer. She fild mi nn thlaetst nuez: Brazauskas &  mnstrz hv rziend; thrz
raebeez nVilnius; iran haz nokt bak US prpoezlz etc. Ie hv bn blivius 2 orl ths SHIT zie doent havn teli
& m not reedn th pprz & thr r noe blbordz. Iem going to Vilnius ns@rdae & she leevz 4 nuthr job. W
wontb seein chuthr gaen nls she dsiedz 2kum to Melbourne ftr thprznt job. Ie gaev her 1vth litl jrzv
oepl chips (see Wednesday 31/8/05) ie bortn Lightning Rj zn toeknv prreeseeaeshn. Thanks, ue
maed mi feel liekn litrri VIP, & tzn good feeln. Yor kumpni woz moest njoibl & ie koodv dun wth morvt.
Hoep thei paeup 4th t slaeshn werk, hoep ue fiend th kiendv wrk ue want & best wshz 4 thfuechr. Ft
wrnt 4 ue ie woodnt hvhd thpprtuenti 2 spend nweek nDruskininkai. Tz 10.20pm & 4 .
8/6/06. “I woke very early this morning in a sudden tangle of confusion and sat
up in bed feeling suffocated by an incomprehensible sense of tedium. It was provoked
neither by a dream nor by any reality. It was a feeling of absolute, utter tedium that had
its roots in something unknowable. In the dark depths of my soul invisible unknown
forces engaged in a battle in which my being was the battleground, and the whole of me
was shaken by this secret struggle. With my waking was born a physical nausea for all of
life. A horror at having to live awoke and sat up with me in bed. Everything rang hollow
to me and I filled with the cold realization that every problem, whatever it might be,
would prove in☼uble.” That was Pessoa (70 [145]).  woek @ 8.30 ftr ngood nts sleep
feeln thopst thoe ystrdae Rasa sed Algisz 4mr wf woodnt stae hoevrnt bkoz ♀ koodnt sleep
bkozv nprezns ♀ flt.  sleep betr thferthr m waefrom th siti & ppl & noiz justz much hnlithol& z
doo nOZ …. wntowt →2 thbakyard & th rbuzn nthfruet treez nflowr; drue nbuktv H2O ↑← thwl 2th
soundv buzn fromth d&i – thei noe sumtn ….→2 Labanoras & ←. B& silke @th hoetl. Bort
Čepkeliu & n @th 1st stor. Balys woz owtsd maekn nornmntl fns. ♂ sed th♀ nth stor wozn ntrstn
prsn & ♂ kood tl nfue storeez O ♀r but ♂ ddnt.  think ♂z n♀z ♂.  rkst nold ♂ nth stor w thei
uezt 2klkt sap from th v bn in wch hvhd thr bark stript from →← sdzv thtrunks. ♂ sed twoz
2sel → guvt 4 bldn. But Balys rknd twoz 4 maekn →2 medsns. Th♀ nth shop ddnt noe & th♀ nth
hoetl ddnt noe wot  woz torknO. Nth uthr stor  bort ½ duz vb& npaktv SMOKED 
wchz nuthr tm 2b nibld (broe no.2 owt) wth b. Jst hdsum & thr vri morish. Ths mornn fnishdff
Rasaz soop & now m heetn↑ thchkn meel ♀ brort ysrdi evnn (15/7/06. Which you so graciously
rebuked her for!) Nold ♀ woz puln n kart wch woz bigr thn ♀r ↑ nbitvn hil soe  gaev ♀r n . ♀ woz
kartn wot lookt lk ngr8 plv d&i but  ddnt rks ♀r wot thei wr4. Bak @ thSODYBA @
1pm n 2 n go x. Twoz nkspnsv modrn1 pro i ongn2 1vth ‘lthoe red ndianz’. Ftr putn thbnth frj
wnt4n stroel offtrak thru np@chv 4st →sowtheest. Sorn Paprastasis suopis (Buteo buteo) n
thhaus. Gotbak@ 4.30. Noetis th yelo chew owtfrunt hav oepnd. Thrr red chew owtbak
groen nthlush gras whr thgrdn hd 1s bn. Thvri 1st loopnz nth 4st rbginn 2 bloom …. @ thrstrnt/hoetl 
red nrtkl nth Lietuvos Rytas th@ thyanx rbildn nhuejli kspnsv mbasdorial  nrrk bhnd 4tfd
boundreez oevr 45 hktairz. Thrtkl kmpairdt2 thtrdshnl praktisv midleestrn tyrants 2 wall thmslvz
offfromth hostl publk nkstrvgnt gar palasz. Thrrkeez ntrprtt zn sn thyanx rplann2stae. HITLER
had plans 4 hli 4tfd stlmntsv jrmn kolnsts nn v slavz nrus uezn thloeklz nli zn sorsv cheep laebr
& mtialz. Z l z tslf zn bleegrd 4trs nn oeshnv suesdl rabz…. Rasaz chkn & spud meel woz
huej, nuf 4 3 ppl, but  hd2 eett orl z woodv hd2 rheett 4 th3rd f ddnt. Wil setlt↓ wth nbotlv
weet b& n☼ti PLEKŠNE ftr  lt thKROSNYS …. “Some people have one great dream in
life which they fail to fulfil. Others have no dream at all and fail to fulfil even that.” -
Pessoa (78 [422]) (15/7/06. There’s something wrong with that observation, on two counts: a) it
smacks of elitism (it’s more noble to have a dream that fails than to have no dream at all and b) if there
are no dreams to fulfil there can be no failure. He’s certainly proved he’s no Buddhist and he’s rapidly
getting up my nose!)
15/6/06. Fownd nuthr tni  nth 4rm nbit ndr thnsdv thlboe wch wthowt (
woz woshn @th wl)  kood bairli . N v lmf@k redns z↓ 4O 2nchz 2wordz thrist. Nwerd O th♪♫
 herd nchuezdi. Twoz dun x wairn baesbal kaps (zv bn wairn) & drab opshop kloethz. Thei
nli nue thwerdz r r2 @r . Th 1room shop wth 2 pknk taeblz & bnchz ndr nkanpi dvrtzn nbr& vb
ztipkl vwhrdrink nth vilj. Ue wil nvr thm @th rstront/bar whr thei chrj x2 4 b& whr nli 2rsts goe.
Thdvd btween rch&por zfr gr8r hthn nOZ. Wn  got bak @ 1.30 nlv th♪♫rz wr stil thr but
kmpleetli blotoe -  think  woz hn th vri larst vth othntk vilj (LIAUDĖS) ♪♫n. Th rstront/pub spshl
86
zn nreejnl kookn plaez maenli nglo jz. m n th larst vdnsv nuthr lfstl b4 tz fnli swptwae x
modrnzm. Ndr thasbstos roofn wch woz soe poplr nth sovieta thrjnl woodn shinglz rstil ntakt nth old
barnz &  lk this1 wch wil nvrb rplaest. Nkupl x thlaek sed th4st zz buetfl z O Ignalina wch
Roma woz teln mi bak nMELBOURNE woz thmoest buetfl nth O . But  bet tz b-n kut↓ mni z
oevr th sstaenbl r8. →n thruet x kumpas ystrdae (& prvius daez)  woz knstntli havn 2 † ugli p@chz
vreegroeth. Thrz lmoest noe lvstok graezn thlush grrs & hrdli ni zbein plowd 4 grkulchr zvlj stl
frmn znt knmkl. m luki 2b aebl 2 waek↑ eech mornn & →2 thwl 4nwosh thrue ths buetfl nglktd (3rd
biroe haz owt) grdn b4t2 dspz.….→d →2 Labanoras nlongr but neevn mor buetfl wae wch Rasa
duznt noe, d rkn, wch taeks nhour (ie +z O 1k) & goez thrue mor mchuer 4st; d thpr dn paejz → H
nMelbourne. Theil reech Ivanhoe wl ♀z nCairnz;  nmeelv ptaetoe pankaeks gaen & rkstm f
kood uez thr  (thrz noe publk  nLabanoras; vri1 nlithol& hzn) 2 O thBirdz & wv greed wl meet
nRimeisei nmundi rvoe. v sins dskuvrd  woz rong wn  sed thrz nrvoe bus (Ignalina → Kaunas)
soe l hav2 k@ch th8.20am 1; bort sum b & →d ← thshortr wae (ys, zth luepnz berst →2 bloom
thdomnnt kulr xth waes zbkumn blue); vztd Giedre hoo showd mi rt O ♀r magnfsnt proprti, +shnl
kabnz 4 vztrz, PIRTI (sauna), etc wth mni v♀r paentnz & drornz dkraetn thworlz. Got th+rs v♀r
stuedio nVilnius nkaes thBirdz fndtv ntrst. ♀ sez orl thdj chanlz rgetn taekn oevr & damjd x
thbeevrz. Their outv kontrl. Tz zf x dn thkuntrisd 2 mproov thpaschrz thsoviets hd setowt 2 prpair
ndeel nvrnmnt 4 thbeevr nvaezion. 1s mor  woz sbjkt2th hamr bloezv ♀r lthoe nashnlzm wch
♀ sed sum hv korld shorvnzm but znt ♀ sez zlthoez rn vri tolrnt raesv . Hmmm. ♀z sadnd ♀r dortr
hz nli vztd 1z n3 yz. ♀r ☼ zn skssfl skulptr vlrj . ♀ sez elk r nuemrus nth  but hv vri good h
n & getowtvthwae wn ue → thrueth 4st; tz 6.40 & v hd  &m goen out← 2sit @th taebl lookn oevr
th ‘grdn’ drinkn nKVIETINIS (wt weet b) wl fnshnoff thrmaenn ;  wthdror wot 
sed O thrstront/hoetl: Giedrė sez thei reeli doo maek ntni KALDŪNAI (pelmeni) h wot look lk
talian knloeni &  gree thei hv2 chrj x2 (wchz stil much cheepr thnnOZ) fthei r2 maek ngoen knsrn
vn buetfl stablshmnt wchtz & thr zn ♀/♂v storks wth 3 baebz rt nks2 thowtsd dnn  & thei
gaev mi thr2uez 4 FREE; 4got 2mnshn th@ ths mornn  LOOKT↓ thSHITHOEL vthtoilt (išvietė)
@th bakvth yrd @ m kkuemuel8d f4ts & m SHIT woz kuvrd x O 20 shni ridsnt green beetlz (
amtr O 1cm) lk LZ (šūdvabaliai: shitbeetles). Think Ot …. (22/7/06. They say that the shit of the
perfect doesn’t stink – now we know it also shines.) 8.30 @ thtaebl. M rt td skrchn ndr m lft
rmpt & straetwae  nue twoz n(erkė no.7).  puldt owt & krushtt btween thnaelzv mi thumb&4 .
Giedrė hoo torks zf ♀ spndz nlotv nth 4st lkn true lthoe chldv naechr sed ♀z nli hd 2  n♀r l
f. Maeks mi 1dr? Rzt th@th mrld beetlz & th lk kwalti SHIT & BLUD. Just fownd 2mor tni
!! Hd 2get th1 ndr mi rt rm wth mi lft wch z spshli klumzi but gotit. Foundn nuthr1 ndr mi rt
rmpt (no.10) whr  koodnt t & hv maed nrt old mesvt. Ddnt  2 getn mirer & trd2 skr@cht owt
n n – now nbitvtz m. FCUK (16/6. r FRK). How mni morznmi. Wish H woz hr 2 chk mi owt!
(21/7/06. I was too busy typing, mate! However, thanks for thinking of me in your time of need.)
22/6 /06. What do we owe the dead? I credit them with my perspectives & culture, my
language, my life. I am not in a position to ask them if I owe them more as I don’t commune with
them. When it comes to the detailed accounting it is the living who are in the habit of telling us what
we owe and they have their own agendas: usually it boils down to what they believe is owing to
themselves. It is my belief (“Having seen with what lucidity and logical coherence certain
madmen (with method in their madness) justify their crazed ideas to themselves and
others, I have lost forever any real confidence in the lucidity of my own lucidity” – Pessoa
135 [203].) together with that of Voltaire that we owe them that the truth be told. It is a
commitment of mine; the way in which I choose to respect them. (6.10am, ftr b-n woekn↑ @ 4am x 
bugz) …. → Pivonijos Šilas: th nli ndkaeshn from throed (Vilniaus g.) th@ th4st zn st vn
masmerdr zn lthoe stl (‘toetm’) vd poel vnrthn nth grip vn wthth werdz “PIVONIJOS ŠILAS
MASINIU ŽUDYNIU VIETA” & nsmorl stoen sn “HOLOKAUSTO AUKU KAPAI ¶ HOLOCAUST
MASS GRAVES ¶ 2200M.” 2kz → thsfaltd trak wndn thrue th4st ( noe1) zn gaet wth thwerdz
oevr thtop “JŪSU ATMINIMAS AMŽINAS.” Thmnmnt zmodst 2th v nsgnfkns hdn nth 4st. Thrz
nnskrpshn nheebrue &: “ČIA 1941M. AMŽINAM POILSIUI HITLERINIU BURELIU IR JU VIETINIU
PAGELBININKU KULKU PAKIRSTI ATGULĖ 10239 NEKALTI LIETUVOS PILIEČIAI – ŽYDU
TAUTOS SŪNUS IR DUKROS, SENELIAI IR KŪDIKIAI. ¶ TEGUL JU NEKALTAS KRAUJAS
PRIBUDIN KIEKVIENO SAŽINE KAD DAUGIAU NIEKAD NEBŪTU ŽUDOMI ŽMONĖS.” I hv2b f
k: tz m bzrvaeshn th wln10shnd lngwj 4lz ndef ;  hv nvr dtktd thsltst pang vrgrt mung naetv
87
lthoez. 10239 ppl!! Tz probli morthn thntr prznt pplaeshnv Ukmergė. Thei mustv bn brort n← thsOn
kuntrsd 2. Ths nsgnfknt nglktd mnmnt, hidn nth 4st wth nfue fae flowrz ( + sum 4gtminots) zorl
thrz 2mrk thst vthmerdrv 10239 ppl. → Ukmergė whr  1drd O thSENAMIESTIS (old town) thnkn
ths woz whr theid livd. Thn  hd v ptaetoe pnkaeks wth meet wosht↓ wth b.  noetd nnmap
owtsd thmnispl ofsz th@ thmaen st znot korld Slabados g. z hd rportd 2 yz goe.  koodnt f
nd nstreetv th@ naem nwhr. Thei mustv chaenjd thr mnd – nithn 2 4gt.  noetd nstreet korld
Vilkmergės g. Nth map  fownd n korld SENOSIOS ŽYDU KAPINĖS (old sh smtri) & whn 
fowndt (now npublk prk wth 2 nsgnfknt stoenz wth sum mrknz nheebrue & thwerdz nlthoe
“SENOSIOS ŽYDU KAPINĖS ¶ TEBUNA ŠVENTAS MIRUSIU ATMINIMAS.”  rialzd 2yzgoe
mi & Vaidas hdbn lookn 4 nplaes 4n leek nths prk wthowt noetsn w wr nth 4mr smtri vn mrdrd ppl. →
†n thnli brj † thŠVENTOJI (Oli rvr)  rialzd  1td 2mrs mslf (m lk th@ wth sim zmz) soe 
roed↓ 2th bank, stript 2mi ndrpnts (lthoez doo stuf lk soe) & lae nth H2O sbmrjn mslf svrl z. →
bak2 Rimeisiai whr oldSMsUtLaSsKyIsS, frthrv Audrius (hoo wl show mi sum jient oeks l8r 2nt) &
fthrnlor vLaila (5 kidz) hoo woz xth roedsd (vth roed → Molėtus) zuezuel seln strorbreez told mi O
♂z kuzn sBtLeApNoDnIaSs hoo woz gvn thchois xth jrmnz veethr joinn thplees r doon 4sd laebr
njrmni. Steponas woz 1v 2bruthrz (thuthr woz Stasys hoo l8r  from lktrkueshn) & nsutch kaesz 1
woz gvn thchois 2join thplees, rgoe 2th f t , r2 th 4sd laebr werkz njrmni. Steponas hoo hdbn nth
lthoe rmi joind thplees but ths woz yz ftr thloekl  hd lrdi bn  sed SMsUtLaSsKyIsS.  woz
ntrstd 2 hthkmnt koz  hv nvr prviusli herd th sjschn maed x nordnri lthoe th@ plees took prt nth
mrdrz. ♂ sed thlthoe plees ddnt wont2b prtvt but wr 4sd2 xth jrmnz. Th☼ vth KAČERAUSKAI, neibrz
vth BLANDIS, hid nth 4st wn ♂ woz givn thsaem chois soe thjrmnz thntr hld. →2 vzt Audrius &
Laila nth & promst 2 meet↑ wth Audrius 2 th lrstvth oeks b4 thei 2 rgivn thchop. →2 vzt th
(Grybai) 2x sum mlk. Thr feeln thr aej & lookn nbit loe. Thr ☼ Egidijus zwerkn longhowrz nn tmbrmil 4
nli 500Lt/munth wchz mposbl 2livn.  gaev Milda 1v thoepl neklaesz  got@ rj 2 giv2 sum litl♀
rl@v. (7.05) ….
29/6 /06. Juozas sed thrz shor 2b nhoetl nVilkija (30kz owtv Kaunas, nth Nemunas rvr
nth wae 2Jurbarkas) but thr woznt. 1st  wnt → nskool sum1 sed mt rent roomz but thei ddnt & snt
mi → thSENIUNIJA (kndv kownsl vn smorl ) whr Arūnas Bačiunas (seniunas (ie lk n lord
mair)), Dalė Natenienė (seniuno padejėja (2nd nchrj)), Mindaugas Arbačiauskas (žemės vertininkas
(valuer)), & Vanda Kutniauskienė (žemės ukio reikalū viresnė specelistė (spshlst dvzr nagrkulchr))
kmbnd 2solv m pr m. Vanda woz vmoest hlp & nsistd ntaekn mi 2♀r plaes & givn mi nlunch
vkaldūnai, soop wth meetborlz, strorbreez & nglrs vbr&i. ♀r  woz tdi & •ls wth thngz hngn nth
worlz thwae m mumz  z. ♀ rgnzd mi 2meet Vida Sniečkuvienė hoo runs Antano & Jono
JUŠKU “etinės kultūros muziejus” whr thr woz nbuet gzibshn x Sigutė Ach (ABRAMAVIČIENĖ)
(7/12/08. Vaidas  mi ♂ hz rplast ♀r zth lustr8r 4 th v Landsbergis) hangn nth worlz.  woz priti ks
td this eevnn koz Arūnas B. had sed  woz shor 2get kkomodaeshn @ nKAIMO TURIZMO (vlj
2rzm) plaes 12kzwae nČekiškė butwn Vida rang↑ thei wr towt. Th@ woz m 2nd big dsr mnt 4
thdae zvri1 hd sed twoz ngr8 plaes nthbankvth DUBYSA rvr. Tlooks lk l b 4st → Jurbarkas 2moroe
wchz nbigr plaes thn  wont2bn but eevn thr thrz noe grantee vgetn kkmodaeshn. Wot m trn
2doo msz toetli novl 2vri1 v torkt2. Vida hz rjd 4 mi 2stae 4 free †throed @ thplaesv Algimantas
& Veronika Lipkevičiai 4 2nt. Nth midl vth townshp thrz nst@chuev Šv ( ) Florijonas thpaetrn v
mn. Thrz nplakrd nth worlvth dminstraeshn bildn saen: “‡ ¶ ŠIO NAMO RŪSYJE 1944 – 1954
m. ¶ N.K.V.D. IR JU VIETINIAI ¶ PARANKINIAI ¶ KANKINO IR ŽUDĖ ¶ ŽMONES
KOVOJUSIUS ¶ UŽ LIETUVOS LAISVE” & nx thrz nmonmnt knsstnv n † wth thwerdz:
“LIETUVI! ŠI ŽEMĖ SUSĖRE NUKANKINTO UŽ LIETUVOS LAISVE TAVO BROLIO KRAUJA ¶
1945 – 53.” nthprk nwch  rd th Lietuvos Rytas thrz n smtri: “TARYBINIU KARIU ŽUVUSIU
1941 – 1945 METU KARE KAPINĖS” & “MEMORIALA RUSIJOS AMBASADAS LIETUVOJE
ATNAUJINO RUSIJOS FEDERACIJOS LĖŠOMIS 2006 METAIS”. N Lietuvos Rytas  red th@
daeb4ystrdae n31yold ♂  wn ♂ fl↓ SHITHOLE & nmunthgoe n53yold ♂ rlsoe drownd wn ♂ ↓
SHITHOLE 1st. Th31yold woz probli d k thpapr sed.  hd just d k nbotlv (worm) stowt b4 
wnt→ thstop toilt 4nkrap but  srvvd. Thbwoz BIRŽIEČIU alus alk 8.00%. Nthchrch wchz vri
prmnnt @th vri topvth hst • nth town thrz nlitl prk whr tsez ndr n†: “PIRMOSIOS MEDINĖS
BAŽNYČIOS PASTATYTOS 1540m IR MAGDEBURGO TEISIU MIESTUI SUTEIKIMO 1792m
ATMINIMUI”. Nth chrch thrr sum fn woodskulpchrz probli dun x Vidaz husb& hooz nfoek

88
woodskulptr. Ndr 1 tsez: “ATEIKITE PAS MANE VISI KURIE VARGSTATE IR ESATE APSUNKINTI,
O AŠ JUS ATGAIVINSIU” MT II, 28 ¶ ŠVENTIESIEMS METAMS ATMINTI 1934 -1935” (noe
tkarnt hv vn Vidaz husb& hoo dunt!) & ndr nuthr betr skulpchr: “VIEŠPATIE, BŪK GAILESTINGAS
SIELOMS ŽUVUSIU SIBIRO TREMTYJE. GLOBOK MUS GYVUSIUS IR MŪSU TĖVYNE. 1941-
1991m”. Ths kuriosli rmn mi th@t @ th mmorial 4th 10,000+ sh  nth PIVONIJOS ŠILAS 
hd herd mslf ksklam “Lord, forgive them.” Thrz nsh
smtri nVilkija but  ddnt t. Nth Vilkija pmflt givn 2mi tsez: “Vilkija is like an ampitheater on the
bending bank of the Nemunas river. It is situated 30km from Kaunas in the direction of
Jurbarkas. A town with a population of around 2,500, Vilkija has the status of an urban
monument. It has been known since the 14th century and its environs are rich in
architectural and archaeological objects as well as beautiful landscape. Steep lanes
leading to high hill make one feel like in Switzerland in miniature, while upon crossing
the Nemunas by ferry the landscape changes over the plains of Suvalkia. A neo-Gothic
church of red brick built in the 20th century attracts attention from afar. A panoramic
view of the Nemunas opens from the churchyard. One may visit an originally arranged
house-museum of A. Juška, a school of crafts that fosters ancient traditions of black
ceramics, a regional museum in the premises of the agriculture school, and the old
cemetery with koplystulpiai – unique carved wood poles with the statuette of saints.
Anybody who comes to Vilkija even for a while becomes convinced that one must not
travel far to find beauty. It is right here, in Vilkija. Just come and see.” v bn lookt ftr 2dae
SKOTFREE; vr1 rfuezz •blank 2 kkspt $$$z.
6/7/06. MINDAUGO & JURBARKO dae. m nn nsgnfknt vlj korld Kalnėnai II nn wlr d 
wth gas&lktrsti O 1k ofthmaenroed → Klaipeda. Thternof zO 5kz prst Jurbarkas. Th sOnz rv 4st
morthn grkulchr.  hv 6 500ml botlzv Švyturys nth frij. BLAnŽiAjIoTlIeENĖ zkleenn↑ thms lft xn
gruepv ♀ frndz hoo wr lrst h. Thrz n nnchaen owtsd brkn ♂zorf.  woz droptof x
VkArNiČsItEiNnEa @ 9.05 & Nijolė hoo hd kum nn  woz lredi h2greetus. Lrst nt  dd nd↑
wotchn th i thrue 2thnd ch@n 2 Rimas & anVzAeNlČmYaSs wl  d k 2 botlzv b. Rimas
nprtklr woz kuerius O orlthingz OZ. ♂ ksplaend 2mi thdfr gruepnz mungth kidzv J., thmuezks thei
dntfwth, thkloethz theiwair zuen4m etc. Anr v dagz & skin rprznts thdkt8r vth NORM –
thei lk 2 blt↑ ni1 hooz dfr . Thtown hz nbig krmnl lmnt wch ksplaenz thvri musklr  drst nneet g
skintt T-shrts & si talian stl shuez/slprz hoo hd rrvd nn BMW  sor ystrdi lunch @th br.
Z  nth vztrz thsmornn thKAIMO TURIZMO sstm vkomdaeshn zth eezist waev getn 2noe loekl
ppl.  hdbn td lk nmmbr vth famli & nth mornnz d maek mslf n v t wth  & sitnth bakvrandr
oevr n thmti NEMUNAS rvr. Ystrdae  werktowt how2b kumfrtbl nm room ndr throof. Ue hv2
leevth oepn orldae zt heets↑ muchmor ftz shut. From 10-12pm tkoolz↓ &f ue hv nkold showr b4 ue
kn shutth 4th rstvth nt &t feelz gr8.  slept wl 4 nfue howrz & ftr nhot showr nthmornn feel huemn
gaen. Trubl wth ths kndv travl zue just werkowt how 1plaes werks wn ue → thnkst1. (pikt↑ nfethr @
m wch  thinkz ← nBaltoji Kiele (Motacilla alba) soe  puttn th . Thsmornn
Anzelmas woz tlnmi how ♂ hd2doo 3yz nashoe nth soviet rmi (♂ woz bornn 45) dsrgrdn ♂ woz
nmed stuednt. 1st ♂ woz d nth Baikal rjn thn nBERLIN. Nth 3yz ♂ nvr gotn singl holdae nor woz
d 2 lthl&. ♂ woz d nnnrl8d feeld ( tknshn) 2 ♂z studeez & dschrjd lrdi nmunth →2 th med.
smstr. Nth 3yz ♂ nvr hd kkss2 medkl . ♂ told mi sum ntrstn stuf O lthoez jp z (← egipt bkoz
thbrtsh rom uezt2 klaem twoz whr thei hd kum ←) sumv hoom ♂ hz mung ♂z paeshnts. Nth soviet
daez ue ddnt hv2doo nashoe fue hd 2kdz soe 18yold ČIGONAI (jp z) wood getowtvt x ‘mariyin’
mayb 40yold ♀♀ wth kidz. Nlthl& now vri1 zpoezt 2doo 1 yv nashoe but thguvt duznt tr 2forsm
2join zthr 2hrd 2keeptrakv. ♂ hz nvr met rnoenvn jp z wthn job & tha doent stae @ skool 4 long ftorl.
Nijolė sed thnli kid thei hd @skool dspd wthowt paen thfeez. Thmaen gruep O hliv nSeredžius
whr  hd gotof wth thyung ♀ wth thkid nlairi ☼ z. Theiv dvdd lthl& →2 reejnz eech +mnstrd x
nČIGONU BARONA (jp baron) & thei hv thr spraet sistmv +mnst n justs mung thmslvz. Nijolė sez
♀ voidzm @orlkost & nvr rplz f1 torks2 ♀r. nČIGONĖ (jp ♀) sed 2♀r 1s wn ♀ nvr rpld th@ ♀
woodhv ms4chnz 4thrstv ♀r lf. Nijolėz huzb&  nmunthgoe ftr n2yllns. Sum1 hool uezn th
ftrmi hz vztd & zgon & Nijolė  z lmoest redi thoe   v brort nuf food 4 2daez …. Th zdv
→2 2 prts & n♂/♀ & kidz liv nthuthr prt wchz 2/3rd z vth. Thr por & gzist npkn bereez etc & wlfair.
Thei hv 2 goets & thrz njr vgoetmlk nthfrj. Nijolė bort 20Lt werthv wld bluebreez from thm 2drowt.
89
♀ eets drdowt bluebreez nwntr. Thei doent feed th wl & ftr  & ftr n♂ hoo woz lookn 4 thhuzb&
vth naebr lft ♀ kookt↑ nhuej potv stuf 4 th. Now hz ngzmplv how thingz werk nlithl&. Thsz nbuet
& tdli kpt plaes wr vrthn werks BUT THRZ NOE TOILT. Tfl↓ nygoe & ue hv2 goe nlong wae oevr
oepn gO 2KRAP nth skrub. Fue hvth SHITZ ue kood hv 2goe ftn & thpor naebrz kn ue nof
†thlorn. Nijolė sez ♀ goez krook @m rglrli koz thei leev shit ppr etc O. Ftr lunch w lookt 4n  4mi
soe ♀ kood show miO. Orl trz wr fl@ nkluedn th  w got ↓ from th @. Nijolė hd 4gtn 2 bring
thpump but ♀ gotnlndv1 ← thnaebrz but twoz 4 throng kndv valv soe ♀ uezd ♀r2korl nnuthr
naebr 2 bring nuthr pump. Twerkt & fnli w setof.  get kritszd 4 bn bsst wth thmrdr vth  vlthl&
but  hv not spoekn 1 werd nth m@r 2ni1 oevr thlarstweek &  sae 2ue, ♥, ue nt void thtopk fyor
nlthl&. Dd  keep on&on Ot nowr trip thrue QLD lrst y? (12/8/06. I have taken a vow never to
comment on this issue again.). 300yrdz long thtrak @ n● mung vzbl ← th w stopt bkoz ♀
wontd 2 showmi n● wr th wr . Thrzn subsdns nth gO 2 nd thpit. Thrr uthrz nth4st nx ♀
sed. 0 vtheez rmrkt rnoen (8/12/08. nrflkshn   tha wood rlogd) thoe thrz nmonmnt @nuthr ●
wr thei wr nlv kz rwae x thmaen roed. Nijolė woz brort↑ x ♀r gr&pairnts nths  from thaejv
7munths & livd h4 33 yz & zhrglrli evr sins. ♀r gr&fthr (thei hd 10 kidz vthr oen 4v hoom 
yung, 3 n1y: n2yold ♀  ←dsntri; 2 brthrz (18 &19)  (ftr thwor) bloen↑ ftr stepnn ,1 jst nth
; n♀ woz shot wn nrus kaem2thdor, hd nrguemnt wth Nijolės gr&dd, puld n & frd nshot wch
mist thgr&dd but kild th♀ hoo woz koembn ♀r hair @th , ♀ woz 7 yz old.) (m sitn @th taebl ndr
npkchr vth gr&pairnts (1/12/02 - 1/11/1980 ♀; 18/5/03 - 8/10/1992 ♂) & nkst2 th♀ thrz npkchr vth Oi
vrjn mairi @ ♀r ♥ & nkst2 th♂ thrz npkchr vjzus @ ♂z ♥) woz th4str nchrj (eigulis) & t ftrt 4 40y
z. ♂ sumvth x hdn nth4st. L8r ndr thsoeviets (tarybiniais laikais) Nijolė rmmbrz wn skuerti
plees kwshtnd ♀r gr&dd & ♀ nd from bhnd thdor. Thei wontd 2noe f♂ rknzd eniov thmrdrrz 2b
loekls but ♂  ♂ ddnt. L8r ♂ told ♀r th@ ♂ dd but ♂ woz 2frtnd 2sae hoo thei wr. Thr orl  now ♀
sed. Now tl mi ♥ - doo ue think  kn leev ths kndv stuf owtv m rportn & stilb nrportr? Ftrwrdz w
roed 2 vrius ●s nth 4st (ftn →n th koz twoz s&i) nkluedn nkleern wr nvri buetfl ♀ uest2liv wth 5
huzb&z !! ♀ hd nrpuetaeshn 4 maekn gr8 SAMAGONA & woz viztd x mport ♂♂ vthdstrkt nkluedn
Nijolės gr&dd. ♀ hd nsstr nth USA hoo uest2 snd prslz & hd 1 nbueti kontst. Wn w gotbak kuvrd
nswet  hdnb& ♀ shoed mi ngr8 nO vbuetfl klblue H2O whr gravl woz b-n kskv8d n♀ wae ←2
Jurbarkas. ThH2O woz vri worm lk nQLD &   nmi dagi ndrpnts koz  hd nprvt ● long wae
← nlv uthr ppl hoo wr thnli 1z nn lrj kspansv H2O nths vri hot dae.  think  woz doen much
betrthn ppl nNida rPalanga. Th zhot but &  koodnt koolt↓ prpli koz thrr plntiov mozeez thoe
Nijolė hd sed thr woodntb.  hv far2mutch food koz ♀ hd lsoe maed nlrj potv ŠALTIBARSČIAI
(borcht) @  wchz nthfrj. ♀ duznt kspt paemnt4 thbord & hz lft n nkaes thrzni trubl.  d k
nfue2mni bz sitn nth bak step wotchn th larstvth ☼ &  & tz 4.
13/7 /06. 7.17pm Rusnė → Šilutė → Jurbarkas → Kaunas → Ukmergė → Rimeisiai.
Wil doo nrport 2moroe.
20/7 /06. “GUEST HOUSE of Kaunas Archdiocese ¶ The Guest House (Svečiu
namai) is located on the edge of Kaunas’ Town Hall (Rotušės) square, in the heart of the
Old Town. Some of the windows of hotel overlook the Rotušės square, others have a view
of the enclosed yard beyond which is seen the confluence of the Nemunas and the Neris
rivers. ¶ The Guest House is newly renovated, providing privacy and modern
accomodation. 21 rooms within the three-floor building can accommodate up to 48
guests (there are 5 single rooms, 8 double, 5 three-bed and 3 four-bed rooms). The costs
of a room start from 50 litas (about 15€). The Guest House is provided with internet
access and has two conference halls of 50 and 300 places respectfully, car parking in the
enclosed yard. ¶ Kindly welcome. Kaunas Archdiocesan GUEST HOUSE. ¶ Rotušės a. 21,
¶ LT-44279 Kaunas, Lithuania ¶ Phone + 370 37 322597 ¶ Fax + 370 37 320090 ¶ GSM
+ 370 687 94524 ¶ E-mail: sveciunamai@kn.lcn.lt ¶ http://kaunas.lcn.lt/guesthouse”.
Vaidas sez thz bldnz wr rmi barks nsovietdaez. 1v th2 towrz uest2hv nred  ntopvt now thei boeth
hvn .  woz waek b4 1v th z chmd 5am but staed n wnt chmd 6,7,8 (8.50 now). Thei rmn
 mi vth  vth gr8 proft – “a dead god stripped of all his altars.” Boeth nths room (28) &
thsmorlr 50Lt room (3) m shiftn →2 ftr 12 thrz noe dkor kspt nnobtruesv worlhangn dpktn krst nth
. Th rstvth komplks znsmnri & thioljkl nsttuet. (9 chmz). “Nothing remains of the shells I
found by the shores of seas, not even nostalgia”. Ystrdi O 6  †t pathz wth
90
ReUgDiIdNiSjKuAsS soe whd ndrink nn kafe/br off Rotušės . ♂ d k t. ♂ sjstd ♂ mt fnd
sumpthn  kood uez zn kuvr soe  sed d korln @ thstuedio b4  lft Kaunas (9/12/08. thszt:

). O 9.30 thz, mi, & rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs kort↑ nn br wr jernoez drink & w kntnuedn nn br
nLaisvės Alėja til kloezn @ mdnt (10/12/08. gotn e  ♂m ys d 4wr vr Vaidas. H nx
kt: “Pries pusantru metu Raimundas Eimontas, iseidamas is LYTAGROS degalines Ateities
plente (tarp Vilniaus ir Kauno), galva acitrenke I stiklines, nepazymetas duris. Patyres
soka ir susinervines, spontaniskai I jas ispyre. Uz tai buvo patrauktas baudziamojon
atsakomyben, ir prokurore Loreta Šimkuviene pareikalavo bausmes – 6 men. Viesuju
darbu. Zemiau esantis tekstas yra kaltinamojo RE paskutinis zodis teisme. ¶¶ Bukite
budrus! ¶ Tai gali atsitikti kiekvienam! ¶¶ RE”). W →d long Laisvės Alėja & Vilniaus g. sloeli
listnn 2 Raimundas tlnv ♂z ds mnts nth ROEPIN rt n oevr thlrst y. Mi & ♂m wl k@ch↑gaen 2moro
eevn.  →d thlrst prtv Vilniaus g. x mslf. Thkobld s ts wr eeri bkoz thei rlit rn thnt but wr toetli
dzrtd kspt 4 1gruepv yung d ks (r drugeez) sitn nth midlvthroed. Maeb sum1 woz il.  woz ←n
mroom @ 1am…. Sor th2gz  hdbort nmeel4 nLaisvės Alėja. Met Egidius gaen n♂z wae2th
stuedio. Hd nlook nsd thl8st chrch theiv bgun 2rnov8. Tz 1vth oldst nKaunas &z just bhnd
thsmnri. Derlkt chrchz look mor buetfl 2mi thn rstord 1z soe  ddnt put nkoin →2 thdoenaeshn . But
th♀♀ (hvnt n ni♂♂) hoo krorl O nthr neez nsdvth chrchz prfr thm 2b rstord soe l giv ndoenaeshn
l8r. Tz bvius th@ $$$z givn →th chrch 4 rst shn duz morgood hthn fue givt2th por & hungri. 
hv2 leev nmundi zth O plaes z towt kspt 4n 4 room @ 120Lt …. SIESTA …. rmaen ks mli trd;
→d O thold karsl; doen8d2 thrst shn prtli koz  sed  wood; hdn good l@e & kaek (Napoleona)
nn plznt kavine; karnt l l8 nts & loekhol noe mor; feeln vriold; hvnt gotth nerji 2goe morthn
nfue00yrdz ← thgst …. SIESTA … mi hlth pkt↑ 2wordz eevn; dd th→ 2 Soboras & ← nn barmi
summr eevn; sor th2gz  bortn meel 4 puln thsaem stunt nsumuthrz – thei shood join aktrzkwti;
fownd ncheepeet & bort nmeelv BALANDĖLIAI 4 5Lt; bort nb (2nd 4thdae) & t nkomdi show @th
Skliautai kavine/br nx b4 kumn ← 4n erli nt (11).  hv nnaebr.

91
 27/7 /06. Brigita & Vaidas got bak ←Vilnius z woz O2 nodof. Thei brort withm nplv
glosi kidz givn 2m x KRONTA thpublshr wth wch Vaidas hd snd nkontrkt rlier nth dae (8/12/08. ♂
 tha r n 4 stuf x LT x-pats so  d stuf (10/12/08. nkludn th MM  IN TRANSIT t zl8d 2 litho
 SaTlRbUiNnGaA) weksrgo t tha hvnt knoljd r t). Ndrth trmzvth kntrkt ♂ has2 spliem wth thlluest
shnz 4 th Briedis ir Lakštingala (the Elk and the Nightingale), wthn 2 munths wch kkordn 2m
wlb nrkord zuezueli nlluestr8r kn kspkt 2 spnd nynth job but LAvNyDtSaBuEtRaGsIS jnr zankshz
2get th owt zsoonz posbl.  think twood bnfethr n♂z kap fV gotn rpuetaeshn 4 farst werk. Nthr prt
thei hv kntrktd 2 pblsh th wthn ny vksptn thpkchrz.  rekn thsukss vth zssuerd x th naemvth
orthr – th@s how thingz werk nlithl&. Kueriusli ( lk 2 keepn rkordv KOENSDNSZ) zV woz
ngoesi8n thdeel nkorl kaemn 2thditr ← nuthr lluestr8r hoo woz werkn nth piks 4 n x
LAvNyDtSaBuEtRaGsIS snr th ljndri 4mr muezkljst & 1st prmnstr vth nueli free respublika vlthl& &
thfrthrv jnr. ♂z putnowt n v kidz vers. V herd thnaem vth lluest8r hoo ternzowt 2b
RrIoMlKaŪnNdAaSs hoo woznt oenli nklrsm8v V @ rtskool 4 6 yz but rlsoe oevr th thei wr thvri
bestv m8s. Soe 2 frmr bst frndz rlluestr8n chldrnz O 2b pblsht x nfrthr/☼ kmbnaeshn. Vrthn zknktd!
L8r nthrvoe 2 ♂♂ & n♀ droevn brngn b& meet 4n BBQ. Thei wr Gediminas (rloev V & 4mr (O 3y
zgoe) CHAMPION OF THE WORLD (ie ) nnrmd komb@ (1 thttl njapn)) & ♂z ♀ & Remigius hoo
uest2b th rv Gediminas (hooz th r vth kurnt roepian jnior CHAMPION) & znow nvri sukssfl bznz
 & probli nmlionair. Thsport zn b chv KARATE &t duznt srprz th@ thrr mor ♣z/v pplaeshn
nlthl& (Gediminas hz ♂z oen ♣) thnniwr nth O . Nths sport ue braek boenz wthr ue wn/luez & thei
boeth hv broekn heepsvm. Nsdntli Gediminas zorlsoen sports doktr (vboenz & muslz). ♂z nks mli
yuethfl ♂ &z lwaez lrfn & krkn joeks. ♂ shows noe vzbl snzv damj ← ♂z kreer nnrmd komb@. W 
( hdbn  rldae & soe 1sgaen oevr) & d k (Remigius (← l@n 4 orz) hd brort sum owtst&n b
maedn Birštonas (ntown nKaunas faemus 4 prn good bz) wch ue knoenli x nlrj botlz wth
si rz) l8 →2 thnt. Rlier nth eevnn  woz muezd 2wotch V, G, & R mukn O wthth  wch V hd
brort owtv thshed. Thei wr lk boiz wth nkomplk8d toi. Gediminas tooktowt 4 svrl tst (1s wth ♂z
♀frnd) & got↑2 120kz/hr nth freewae. Thn ♂ roed nth  v bn uezn & thn ♂ tstd thz nue BMW x
drvn O ntt Oz nth yrd. W@chn thr gleefl njoimnt @ theez   woz put nmndv sum flm 
hd n vblakfrknz (neegroez) tstn owt th1drz vthwtz tknoljkl cheevmnts …. (eetn flzv blak & red
kur & smorl chreez wch seedmslvz rloevr lthl&) … thr cheerflns koodb nkorz 4ptmizm ftwrnt4
thfeeln th@ th zspeedn (→→) 2tz knkluezion (nd?). (10.55 & Brigita hzsrfst)  shoodv mnshnd
rlier th@ nlv yzgoe V hd sed 2mi wot ♂ wood moest lk 2doo woodb 2 werk@ lluestr8n . …
(V hz kookt nomlt 4 b ch (rlier  hd dun thdishz ← larstnt) & thrz nkntaenrv frshfrm cheez
wchwoz lft x Audrius & Laila) …. v spnt moestvth mornn  @ 1 ndvth taebl wl V hzbn drorn
@thuthrnd. Fm nijudj ♂z doon goodstuf. Tzn mgnfs ☼i but breezi & mld dae. (Brigita kmntd (z
 nue ♀ wood) nth dshz hvnbn wosht). 2get th & → Lyduokiai 2 th → MELBOURNE ….
Thrwoznoe lktr ti @th fs soe mi & th mstrs †throed → shop 2wei th … Hd ngood look@
nMažasis genys (Dendrocopos minor) wch Brigita ●d nth yrd. .. Fnsht Laiškas Lotai (10/12/08.
 rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs) & ftr @ 1st feeln kritkl  n↑ reelzn twoz njnuen kr ←th♥
(dstrbuetd n♂z 40th brthdae) deeln wth nprtklrli dfklt persnl shue.  kmnd thorthr 4 ♂z braevri
nbroechn thtopk. Brigita snt mi 2get njrv mlk ← Milda &  staed & torkt 4nwl. Thr vri bizi trn 2get
nmowntaenv hae ndr kuvr nth big shed 4 th nwntr b4t gets dn. Milda maedmi proms 2kum O
O 7pm ns@rdae 4n morknvvial ch@. Thr ☼ Egidijus hooz bn werkn nth sorml ← 6am wlb @t pch4kn
tl ☼↓. Vaidas & Brigita rnth PIRTI (SAUNA) & l taek m tern ftrm. …
3/8/06. … (kont) (10 z)  nklued thbairst mnmum z tŽaIuŽrYiSus wl kspkt mi owtsd
nlsthn 1howr. True2 4m  met PEpTaRuAlIiTuIsS →n long Vokiečiu g. ♂z ← Melbourne. ♂ hd rrvd
rlier ← Riga & lookt vri trd. Wn ♂ woz nsowthfrka 5 ngroez wth nvz sp g ♂m nbrord daelt &
took ♂z geer nkluedn wolt & dkuemnts. ♂z nueropa 2studi ♂z MBA (mstrvbznzdmnst shn)
nnnglsh langwj nsttuet nspaen. Ue krnt srvv nueropa wthowt prpr dokoez & ♂z h 2tr 2get ♂z
lthoe prsprt nordr. ♂z staen wth SaTlRbUiNnGaA hooz wrkn zn t zl8r sumwr nx. Mt getn ch
2 k@ch↑ wthm 4  b4  leev. W hd ndrink @th ŠMC kavine b4  hd2 goe & get rdi 4th KABAILAZ.
 told ♂m VIŠNIrAaUySKAS hd sed KEdSaMnIiNuAsS woz rrvn nBERLIN 2dae & woodb
nVILNIUS nn week & ftr nmunth woz → SHANGHAI 4n munth & thn → ndonezia. @th KABAILAZ
thei knfrmd th@ KApBaAuIlLA woz h4fue weeks nn orlkspnsz paed knfrns.  woz pleezd 2♪ th@
Meilutė looks nkslnt shaep knsdrn ♀ hd suchn big praeshn n♀r oldaej. ♀ showd mi n srtfkt ♀ hzbn
92
givn 2proov ♀z bn g td thst8usv EMERITUS PROFSOR – 1v nli 3 such dstnkshnz nthOv VILNIUS.
Rasa hd thleest 2sae zuezuel. ♀z bn nholdaez nn sd vlj nl@via. Now ♀z → Labanoras 4n week.
KAaBlAgIiLsA woz thlowdst (8/12/08. now   stng 2 nek) 4thshort ♂ woz thr. ♂z bkum vri
oevrw8 sins  sor ♂m larst. ♂ gaev mi ♂z kard wch sez ♂z nSOSI8 PROFSOR nntrnshnl konmks &
mnjmnt. ♂ d k nflarskv 999 (‘Trios Devynerios’) nnoe fl@ b4 ♂ lft ….
10/8 /06. VIENNA. (8.20am @ thHOTEL POST Reg.Gen. m.b.H ¶ 1010 Vienna ¶
Austria ¶ Phone: +43-1-51583-0 ¶ fax: +43-1-51583-808 email: office@hotel-post-wien.at. ¶ Room 503
@ €47/dae (b&b) (8/12/08. nxt ytz kos10 mi €51/dae)). Ystrdae: €6 ( ← prt → sti) + €2 (rbrd
s&wch ←smorl sueprmrkt) + €2.80 (sorsj nbun wth mustrd) + €1.80 (bunch vgraeps ←s t storl) +
€3.50 (500ml vb@ ☼↓@ Volksgarten (8/12/08. “I suggest a pleas in this park. As soon
as you enter the gate, you can see the white statue of the Empress Elizabeth in her
arbour at the end of a -lined avenue. ¶ Raised in an environm of extraordinary
freedom for a young girl of her , she was a roman at  and was never a to adjust to
the st t-laced and almost inhuman ceremony of the Imperial Court. She found no
happiness either as Empress or as wife, though F z Joseph adored her till the day he .
And as she was denied the normal joys of motherhood – her children were sepa ed
from her pracally at  – she could not find any ☼ace in their company either. All these
st s combined to make her life a burden. Apart from this she had to  tragedy within
the family twice. Her daughter Sophie  at the age of only two and later there was, of
course, the horror of her son Rudolph’s “sui”. Her own terrible end (9/12/08.   “On 10
September 1898, in Geneva, Switzerland, Elisabeth, aged 60, was stabbed in the heart
with a sharpened file by a young anarchist named Luigi Lucheni, in an act of propaganda
of the deed. She had been walking along the promenade of Lake Geneva about to board
steamship Genève for Montreux with her lady-of-courtesy, Countess Sztaray, when she
was attacked. Unaware of the severity of her condition she still boarded the ship.
Bleeding to death from a puncture wound to the heart, Elisabeth's last words were
"What happened to me?" The strong pressure from her corset kept the bleeding back
until the corset was removed. Only then did her staff and surrounding onlookers
understand the severity of the situation. Reportedly, her assassin had hoped to kill a
prince from the House of Orléans and, failing to find him, turned on Elisabeth instead. As
Lucheni afterward said, "I wanted to kill a royal. It did not matter which one." The
empress was buried in the Imperial Crypt in Vienna's city centre which has for centuries
served as the Imperial burial place.”) at the of a polial maniac shocked all of Europe,
but seemed in consist y with her entire life …. ring the summer months its rose
garden is a de ful place to linger ( Monday 25/6/07).” – In Search of Vienna 
Henriette Mandl)) + €3.10 (250 ml vbnkrbsd kafe n Stephan ) + €2.60 (250ml vbl8 @ n
t n nbr plaen klskl muezk) = €22 (ie O A$37) + €47 = €69 (ie OA$117) … 2dae: €1 (punt vblubreez
nVollzeile neer Dominik Kirche) + €0.50 (4 eine SHIT @th staeshn but thmuzlm kleenr lt mi
uezt 4 free) + €4 (pkchr mapv vVienna (8/12/08. “The history of Vienna stretches back to well
before the Christian era. There was a Celtic settlement here in the 4th century BC, then a
fortified Roman camp, known as Vindobona. The Huns, led by Attila, conquered
Vindobona in the 5th century. In the 10th century (976), the House of Babenberg came to
power. The name WENIA was first attested in 881, but by 1030 it had become WIEN. ….
¶ Between 1250 and 1278 …. the arts and trade flourished. Stephen’s and Michael’s
Churches were built, and the castle reconstructed. The House of Hapsburg formed the
new governing dynasty and Vienna was their residence between 1282 and 1918, with
only a few interruptions. …. The Turkish armies laid seige to Vienna twice, in 1529 and
then in 1683, but they did not conquer the city. ¶ …. From 1611, Vienna was the capital
of the Holy Roman Empire. ¶ The 17th century was very important because Vienna
became the political centre of the Austrian monarch …. The Baroque reconstruction of
Vienna started, new monasteries and also Hofburg (Imperial Palace) were built. Leading
European artists and architects worked in Vienna. ….In the 18th century, Vienna had
175,000 inhabitants and the city become one of the most important cultural and political
centres in Europe, and in particular, a centre for music. …. ¶ Leading European
93
musicians, such as Joseph Haydn, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Ludwig van Beethoven
brought glory to Vienna. …. Outstanding architects and builders ….[and] memorable
artists …. influenced the appearance of Vienna. …. ¶ At the beginning of the 19th century
the population …. was 200,000. The first 10 years of this century was a period of
upheavals. …. In 1806 the Holy Roman Empire was abolished. Emperor Napolean
invaded Vienna in 1805 and again in 1809. Between 1814 and 1815 the Congress of
Vienna took place. The 1830s was a period of industrial Revolution and Vienna
contributed actively to the progress of science, technology and medicine. …. ¶ The years
before World War I were quite peaceful, but after the war, the Monarchy was abolished
and the Republic of Austria was founded. …. Vienna was declared the capital. In 1938,
Hitler’s army occupied the country and Austria became part of the German Reich. On
26 October 1955, Austria regained its autonomy and its political and economic stability,
and this was also the beginning of Austrian neutrality. Austria became a member of the
United Nations in …. 1955, and since 1979 the United Nations has had its seat in Vienna,
as well as in New York and Geneva.” – VIENNA Panoramic Map Visual Guide (pub.
UNESCO)) bort n Stephan kthdrl (8/12/08. “For more than 800 years Stephen’s has
shared the varied destiny of this city. Today it is considered the  of Vienna, its centre.
This was, however, not always so, for when the church was built in 1137, it was outside
the town wall and not incorporated until the first expansion of the city 18 years later. ¶
The Viennese feel an inexplicable tenderness for this ancient landmark, an attachment
which became very evident during the last days of the Second World War. The Russians
already held the Inner City, while the Germans had withdrawn to the Danube Canal
where they were desparately trying to hold their positions. In the ensuing battle,
Stephen’s came directly into their firing line and the roof of the cathedral caught fire.
Word went from mouth to mouth that Stephen’s was burning and the Viennese came
from all over the city to help extinguish the . When this was accomplished, they
helped extricate every piece of broken vaulting or statuary from the ashes and rubble in
order to ensure the possibility of its future reconstruction.” – In Search of VIENNA.) + €2.30
(Herald (international) Tribune pub x The New York Times) + €8.60 (n vdumplnz & 500mlz vb
@ npub nArgentinier Strabe) + €4 (500mlz vb@ Australian pub @ Albertina Platz) + €7.90
(v , vjeez & spuds nKarl markt nth GRABEN (8/12/08. “It was the moat of the Roman
camp and again used as such during medieval times. It was filled under Leopold VI, the
Glorious, to incorporate numerous villages that had meanwhile accumulated outside the
town wall. For the purpose of levelling the town moat, they used part of the ransom paid
for Richard Coeur de Lion of England (9/12/08. 21/6/07 ). ¶ For many years it was the site
of various markets: flour, bread, meat, vegetables and, around 1600, even the Christmas
Market was held here. Under Maria Theresa and Joseph II it was already considered the
most elegant shopping street in town. During the summer, there were lemonade and ice-
cream booths (9/12/08. Monday 25/6/07), which put out chairs for their clients. Thus it
became the custom to sit and drink lemonade or almond milk while watching a parade of
well-dressed citizens stroll up and down until late into the night. Naturally this much-
frequented area proved an ideal hunting ground for the members of the world’s oldest
profession and these ladies soon acquired the nickname ‘Graben nymphs’. ¶ Roughly in
the centre of Graben there is a most spectacular column curving up to the Trinity at the
top. It is the memorial Leopold I vowed to erect when the plague subsided. At first only a
wooden column was built, but it was replaced by the present monument in 1693. Soon it
became the prototype for similar constructions all over Austria. The two fountains to the
left and right of this Pestsäule are dedicated to St. Joseph and St. Leopold (patron of
Lower Austria)” – In Search of VIENNA)) + €3 ( onthkerbsd → nFleishmarkt) = €31.30 +
€47 (Hotel ) = €78 (ie O A$133).
17/8 /06. (11.07am (Melb tm)). Fnsht th wthowt fndn owt w tfownd mi. → Melb.
(stm8d rrvl tm 15.30) …. (MELBOURNE (6013kz ← Singapore) (♀, kidz, thO astrofe)).
(9/12/08. Completion of Thursdays from Litho Trip 2 (1st draft on CD ttld: ALL THAT WAS ALL THAT WILL BE))

94
 12/4 /07 ( Journal ♪♫ Italy). Yesterdae nth   stood↑ & how alvus hd rtrae nowr
laps kuvrd wth plzv plastk riptop kntaenrz, kutlri, vrteez vplastk bagz etc. Wd orl groesli oevreetn
oevr thprevius 25hrz but owr konsumpshn v rzorsz woz @leest dubld x thpakjn wd uezd↑. Thfuemz
← thwr damjn thstr@oeO. W prvdd rlustraeshn ovth dvd btwen thrich & thpor knomez vth .
Wr dstroint x oevrknsumshn but wth owrw wil nshuel8 owrslvz ← thknskwnsz wch wilb born x thpor
naeshnz. But maeb thpor wil dstroi us 1st. Walkn mung thruinz nth PALATINO   koodnt hlp but 
dntf wth th1s gr8 mpr & tz dstrukshn. v lredi bn cherchtowt nVILNIUS & VIENNA & 1s gaen
thlrjr & mor mgnfsnt thchrch thmor dsgust trowzz nmi 4 thklrji & thhold th@ rljion hz oevr thmasz. Tz
fitn th@ m aelenaeshn ← ianti shoodb ld nROMA. ← @thknvnt nth evnn  woz soe bugrd 
hd fild↑ thplastk pisbotl  hd brort 4 thperpus (nlrjd prst8) b4  rmmbrd tz wr  hdput thplastk kutlri
 hd brort soe  got↑ nthmidlvthnt 2taekt owt & washt. Hd nkrap & uezd thbidet, r1st. Ue tern
nthH2O soe tz worm, sit↓ soet runs↓ yor BUM & reechn btwen yorlegz ue skraep O thrim vyor RS
wth yor – tworks2. Ths mornn  uezd nsimlr teknek 2 klen m KOK etc. (9/12/08. I know you love
to shock but this is definitely TOO MUCH INFORMATION) zH hdjoindmi n (oenli singl z prvdd) thoe
Oli  nthworls & r ↓ nus.  doent blev ♂ dsproovd. €8,62 (sueprmrkt: sapone 0,89; pane 2,89;
gastronomia (salciccie di cinghiale) 2,45; uva italia 0,55; pere william bianche 1,32; pere william rosse
0,52) + €2,00 (cartolini x2 @th shop nxt2 thv ANTONINUS ET FAUSTINA 4 H) + €0,10 (doenaeshn 2
MAMERTINE prizn) + €0,25 (H gets cartoliniov LA BOCCA DELLA verita @ S. Maria in Cosmedin) + €5,00
(“There is a free guide available to give you illustrations of archaelogical structures of
three Roman temples. ¶ Welcome to our Basilica ¶ We are much grateful to your free
donation.” - but thgd wth vri porbutrapid nglsh maed us pae. @th BASILICA DI s. nicola in carcere)
+ €0,10 (0,05 x2) (→↓ fontana trevi 4 rtern) + €7 (b& H2O @ rkerbsd taebln Piazza dei Crociferi) +
€0,50 (cartolini 4 H (vn sitn nth toezv Michelangeloez David (no, the toes belong to Emperor
Constantine (4th century)) bort nVia della panetteria) + €6.22 (spianata romana: 0,51; salciccette di
Siena: 2,74; pane speciale ( ) 1,47; merlot (ncheep drop nrmilktn tp 1ltr kntaenr wth nskruetop
– butzgood): 1,50) = €29,79 + €80,00 4kkomdaeshn = €110 [A$187]. More random thoughts: in DUBAI
air terminal the ladies toilets were of the usual style, but John told me the mens are ones where you squat.
Yesterday I saw two roadworkers have a heated loud exchange & one knocked over a temporary barrier
which was in his line of fire as a demo of his passion. We saw a man extricate his parked car (motor
scooter on one side, another car on the other) with only centimetres to work with while having a
conversation on his mobile and using only one hand to manoeuvre – very impressive and panache-ful. For
breakfast there were 2 ciabatta rolls (one each, quite large) with butter and assorted jams and a large pot
of coffee with a jug of hot milk – enough for 2 cups each, served by a friendly senora assisted by a young
nun. There are 2 rooms for breakfast – one with table service (for guests in single/double rooms we
guessed) and one for those in dorms (self-serve). It was fully adequate & each table had a single fresh
tulip in a vase/glass . The number of guests seems small considering there seem to be many rooms. The
bidet is a big hit with me too – its great for washing your feet as you can sit on the toilet and put your feet
in the bidet right next to it to soak away the dirt and stresses of hours of walking. We are managing to
negotiate our way around thanks to John’s map-reading skills and freaky sense of direction. We can even
interact using some minimal Italiano in the supermarket and quite a few shopkeepers have some English.
When we went into the Chiesa di SS Silvestro e Martino ai Monte the organist was practicing “Here comes
the bride.” We wandered down into the crypt and discovered the 3rd century AD church underneath called
the Titolo Equizio (313-347: Papa S Silvestro I “fecit ecclesiam in praedium presbyteri sui Equitii”). Titulus
= an early meeting place for Christian communities in Rome. In the old Roman ruins we had lunch in the
remains of the Basilica di Massenzio (17/7/07. here’s the info from Googling: “The ruins of the Basilica of
Maxentius or of Constantine (begun in A.D. 306-312 by Maxentius and completed by Constantine), between the Via dei Fori
Imperiali and the Forum, still give an imposing impression of this great building, which, like other Roman basilicas, served
both as a law court and a place for doing business. The central aisle, with a vaulted roof, measured 60x25m/220x80ft, and
rose to a height of 35m/115ft; the lateral aisles were 24.5m/80ft high. The basilica was modeled on the gigantic Baths
erected by Caracalla and Diocletian. The main piers were fronted by massive Corinthian columns, one of which, bearing a
statue of the Virgin, now stands in front of the church of Santa Maria Maggiore. This last great building of the Roman
Imperial period - inaugurated in the year in which the capital was moved to Constantinople - provided the inspiration for
later European architecture, including St Peter's. The ruin of the basilica was hastened when Pope Honorius I removed the
bronze roof-tiles and used them to roof Old St Peter's. An earthquake in the ninth century caused further damage.”)
thinking the remaining structure was the bulk of the building. In a bookshop John found an illustration of it
which showed the remnant as a side wall only – it was originally a huge building – those Romans knew how
to impress the tourists! The area around the Forum originally was chockers with temples, law courts, public
buildings – now its chockers with tourists from everywhere. I love the pine trees (17/7/07. I’m not the only
one: Google again - “Laboring under the shadows of such greats as Puccini, Rossini, and Verdi, many lesser Italian
composers at the turn of the 20th century found that, to their countrymen, music meant only opera. Ottorino Respighi is
credited with being the first Italian composer in that period to achieve both fame and popularity for purely orchestral works.
His three most famous works, the tone poems Fontane di Roma (Fountains of Rome, 1917), Pini di Roma (Pines of Rome,

95
1924), and Feste Romana (Roman Festivals, 1929), exemplify the eclectic, pictorial style that won him such popularity.”)
that grow in the ruins – they are umbrella shaped. We sat on a section of fallen column when we ate and
John had a pee against a section of the wall in the tradition no doubt of many before him, ancient and
modern (spshli th brbairinz). The modern council (comune) has adopted SPQR as its signature on
everything municipal like the covers on the water mains. Its great to see it written on the ancient buildings
too: ‘The Senate and Roman People’ – brings back memories of my days at Heidelberg High grappling with
Latin textbooks: “Discipuli, picturam spectate. Ubi est Britannica? Ubi est Germania? Ubi est Roma?” Alas,
my Latin is now about as good as my Italian. At the Colosseo there are guys dressed as centurions waving
swords – you can take a picture of them for free. They look great even when they are catching a bus home
(saw one) as do whatever branch of the police wears the blue jodhpurs and black leather boots and also
carry a sword (perhaps they’re military). They look like film stars – it must be a prerequisite for entry to the
force that they look like the stereotypical handsome Latin. The other police (polizei municipale) are
something of a letdown, being often shorter, pudgier and female. The Cloaca Maxima in the Forum still
emits a pong as you walk past. In the Chiesa Sancta Maria in Cosmedin (from Passeggiate Romane: “…
dating from the 6th century and entrusted later to the Greeks who had fled to Rome from the east. In fact the church’s name
comes from the Greek, referring to the splendid decorations characterising it. Here, each Sunday at 10.30am, a Greek
Orthodox mass is held. § Beneath the portico of the church, to the left, is the famous Bocca della Verita (Mouth of Truth), a
large stone disk depicting the face of a faun or a river god, with its mouth open. It is probably a monumental slab to close a
drain but, according to legend, the stone was used to judge people’s honesty: whoever told a lie while holding his hand in
the mouth would have ended up pulling out only a stump.” ) there is a reliquary of Saint Valentine. His skull & some
assorted bones sit in a glass case in a side chapel – he had an excellent set of choppers!. Rome is a city
built on many levels. In the Basilica San Nicola in Carcere we saw the original street level many metres
below where once a market used to be held. Then 3 successive temples were built side by side – 1 st a
small one dedicated to Hope, then a large one dedicated to Juno and finally one dedicated to Janus. The
Christian Chiesa sits on top of all 3. In the Piazza Trevi the fountain looks as big as a swimming pool &
there were thousands of tourists and its not yet high season. The lanes (vincolo) around the area are
picturesque with small shops proliferating & motor scooters & cars zipping through the pedestrian crush.
Roman traffic is as terrifying as the guide books say – it comes as a phalanx with scooters as vanguard all
tearing along with horns blaring. They do stop at traffic lights but pedestrian crossings are heart-stopping –
you just have to walk determinedly and steadily and they either stop (grudgingly) or they swerve around
you. Little old ladies on walking frames are not much in evidence . Some Romani are fairly easy to pick –
very well & expensively dressed. Saw some pretty gypsy girls in church doorways begging . I’m amazed at
how dirty the streets are with litter. The parks we saw today are beautiful because the grass isnt cut – its
long and there are poppies, daisies & small flowered geranium growing amid the seeding grasses. It gives
a wild feel. The crows are handsome in tan and black.
19/4 /07. €0,05 (H lt n nth chiesa santa maria a mare rftr Joez e n4mn th@ Michaelz
nhsptl) + €5,50 (smorl  2 berst rblstr) + €0,50 (2 tolini bort @th castello di s. nicola de thoro-plano
oevr n MAIORI & n †2 RAVELLO (Gore Vidal zn onorri sitzn)) + €4,00 (bunchv uva 2,60; pantilnrz
1,40) + €4,60 (panicon porchetta & birra (Heineken 33cl) & arancia 4 lunch nth4shor) + €5,50 (b
(500), penutz & kafe latte n rltl piazza nth 4shorov MINORI (→ † th scala oevrth hdl&)) + €5,50 (vino
1,55; porchetta 3,00; formaggio (ubriaco) 2,79; pane 0,75; limone aqua minerale 0,90) = €20,15 +
€80 (B&B) = €100 [A$170]. Antonio kindly allowed us to use his personal computer to check our email –
bad news from Joe that Michael is in hospital. Despite assurances that he is OK my heart sank and the fact
that the computer at the info centre was down meant that I couldn’t email Joe (I didn’t want to spent too
much time on Antonio’s computer & thought I would be able to use the one at the info). In the morning we
climbed thousands of steps to the Castello di S. Nicola de Thoro-Plano built about 840 in response to a
Lombard raid which had pillaged the villages on the coast to be a refuge in time of trouble. It was enlarged
& rebuilt 1465-1468 by the feudal lord Duke of Piccolomini appointed by Ferdinand of Aragon. Thora-Plano
means a knoll or a rolling hill (!!). We were greeted by the custodian and shown the tower he lives in
housing a collection of artifacts & fragments (Etruscan, Roman, Arab, Italian) that illustrate the Castello’s
long history – coins, swords, pottery (including terra cotta down pipes made by the Etruscans (no wonder
Italian plumbing is good – they’ve been practising a long time)), jewellery, lamps etc. We then climbed
further to the Castello itself, in the process of being (very slowly) restored. Back at the beachfront we
bought grapes, saw some people shelling & eating fresh raw broadbeans (a local specialty) at a sidewalk
café, walked into the Torre Normanna (now a restaurant) & down steps to the gravel beach to dip our feet
in the Mediterranean before being kicked out (the steps belong to the restaurant it turned out), bought
some lunch (bread roll & porchetta & beer & arancia-pop at a small deli) & then returned to Palazzo Coco
for a pee & a short rest for me (the castello steps were long & steep & the steps to P.C. from Corso
Reghinna (main street) number 317. The old ladies round here have calf-muscles the size of coconuts.
After the rest we tackled the walk to Minori along the mountain path – not too steep and very attractive
past terraces of lemon trees, usually with veggies underneath, grapevines & small chapels & houses.
Minori is even more attractive than Maiori being smaller & having a central area behind the beachfront
riddled with complicated lanes & sets of stairs. Maiori’s main street was destroyed by 3 successive floods
of the Reghinna River(which was completely covered & ran under the road) 25/10/54 resulting in many
deaths & the destruction of the higher part of town and all the city centre. The rebuilding includes a

96
central raised pedestrian area along the river which is at a level about 4 metres below the road, enclosed
by a trellis roof on which grapevines are growing. Geese & ducks wander about there. The water isnt deep
but flows fast to the outlet on the sea. John has a visceral thrill when he sees the steps & lanes curling up
into the hill-sides & Minori really turned him on. We discovered an excavated Roman villa in Minori – 2500
sq. metres of gracious living with a triclinium paved in mosaics of animals, a huge garden & a fish pool. It
dates from the Augustinian period & is built on 2 levels, with terraces descending to the sea it is thought.
Its still being excavated. Called into the info. Office in search of an internet point but not one there. Had a
beer/café latte with a complimentary dish of crisp peanuts (with a spoon each to eat them with) at an
attractive bar next to the beach, then walked the short seafront main road back to Maiori, braving the
traffic. Bought tea (rolls, more porchetta, cheese, wine (comes in juice-style carton) from the TECA market,
climbed the 317 steps again & listened to the church bells ring the ½, ¾ of 6 and the hour of 7 as we ate
on the terrace. The views are spectacular everywhere here, high & low, the sea is clear & azure, & the
mid-day is warm after a cool morning & before a cool evening. Most tourists here are Italians & they’re
easy to pick from the locals. There are hardly any in Minori which is smaller. Saw a few signori today who
epitomized ‘la bella figura’ – one who even stood/sat like a model! – attractive, but a bit silly as he looked
so artificial in the environment. Our shoes continue to attract puzzled stares, particularly from elderly
ladies. More steps tomorrow as we’ll probably walk to Amalfi where there’s bound to be an internet point.
26/4 /07. Lrstnt wozth 1st sins wvbn ntalia wthowt  .  lrede mism. Wthowtm  
nt tl howmchvth nt vbnrsleep. &  lrede mis thstairwaez vthAmalfi koest. How thei mustbmist x
thoez hoov groen↑ wthm & hd2 leev2liv nfl@ cuntri lk orstraeliarrjnteena. Tokerd 2mi ths mornn
th@th SCALA strtchn evr ↑&↑ ( Friday 20/4/07) rathr thn bn nksprshn vth vlueshnre prnspl (r
Nietzschz wil2powr (etc)) wozthvri →← (zNietzsche klaemd) 4t dgnfz laebr (th w karin
huej kr8s vlimone), thoez hoo morn, th↓trodn. Tkonfrz dgnte nth sik, nthdn & nslfsakrfs. Knsdr
thkndv  twoodb fnsted w onord thoezhoo lrf (ha, ha, ha) & kaepr! … (6.30pm. tzbn pisn↓. m
drnkn rlimoncello (nlithoel@ twoz ČEPKELIU TRAUKTINĖ ( Tuesday 8/6/04)). €10,00 ((1x 10)
biglietti 4 ) + €1,00 (tolini x2 bort @ maen oevr z port trmnl – th1 ← wch w lft NAPOLI →
SYDNEY n1949 wn  woz 9) + €0,80 (●) + €1,00 (4 ltl sosjroelz bort st.sd noldtown) + €1,50
(hot bort ← st.storl nlaenof Via Toledo) + €2,00 (rlv kafe l@ez @th ∟Via Tarsia) + €7,00 (birra
(Peroni 66cl) 4, kapcheenoe 3, nkafe n Piazza Dante) + €0,25 (tolini vn NAPOLI st bort nth Galleria
Umberto 1) + €3,00 (sosj & spnch roel npiazza plebiscita ( shoutd @ rvri prss10t fit  begn4
€1,00 koz ♂ woz hungre (poelz, lthoez & uthr est roepians r kumn h 2 hrvst thkrops bkoz thrz
rshortjv loekl laebr 4 uel werk; & thoe thjp  wth @  gaets rth kloesst rmndrzv madonna &
 th@ uel ntalia  doent tipm nthr – faktz m not givn charte 2 noe1 ntalia z nt pik
thskamrz ←threelthng (9/12/08. thboodsts  u shdnt ))) + €2,50 (hot nvia chiaia) + €1,19
(botlv birra (nostro azzurro 66cl) ← supermercato) = €30,00 [A$51]. Our first exploration of Naples – it
is an amazing city (28/7/07. I read this warning today from Cook’s Tourist Handbook published in 1884:
“Naples is an ill-built, ill-paved, ill-lighted, ill-drained, ill-watched, ill-governed and ill-ventilated city.”) &
hard to get hold of to begin with, though John has already grasped the basic layout as he did in Rome by
about the end of day 1 – he must have a built in affinity for land lines or magnetic north. I’m hopeless – all
I can work out is that if you keep walking downhill you’ll hit the water. The bus (number 140) took us
almost from our front security gate down to the Via C. Console near Piazza Plebiscita, the largest square in
the city, & then into the warren of long lanes (vincoli) which intersect the major vias where tiny workshops,
shops & houses mingle with street stalls (flowers, fish, household goods). Anything & everything can be
had here – there is a small shop specializing in tripe for instance. Expensive dress shops rub shoulders
with fresh fish sellers, a tiny auto repair shop pops up next to a specialty pasta place. Everywhere are bars
& cafeteria & places which sell a variety of pizza, calzone, arancini, hot dogs & other interesting bites to
eat from glass fronted bainmarie near their entries. The Africans are here too, though not in such numbers
as in Roma. A very large one was flogging bows & arrows, loudly extolling their virtues as he strolled along
the street. As the lanes lead away from the main vias, the shops give way to bed-sits & flats with windows
& doors directly onto the lanes so that, if a window or door is open, you are looking straight into
someone’s living quarters. The buildings are usually about 5-6 storeys & washing hangs from clothes lines
rigged up on the balconies, covered with sheets of plastic during rain. Occasionally a plastic bucket is
lowered to the ground on a rope, presumably to collect groceries. The religious decorations on the outsides
of buildings are much bigger & showier than those in Rome & some of the Madonnas in them look a tad
more sultry too. We havent looked in many churches (Rome’s fault) & the ones we did want to see were
closed after about 1pm & didn’t reopen till 4.30pm by which time we were elsewhere in the city. The
Capella di San Severino houses the “Veiled Christ” by Giuseppe Sanmartino which is a masterpiece in
marble carving but it costs €5,00 each to get in so we’ll give it a miss. As with the Duomo in Amalfi there is
something not right about having to pay to see a chapel. In St Peter’s in Rome, the Pieta is freely displayed
for all to contemplate as are the mosaics of Santa Pressede & Santa Maria Maggiore. For once our natural
stingyness is supported by a principle. The Via Toledo is one of the major shopping streets so we wandered
along it admiring the haute couture while people continued to admire our shoes. I suggested to John we
could pay for the whole trip by charging people €1,00 apiece to look at our Crocs. The traffic continues to
97
amaze. I saw a young man proudly wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: “Life is Short. Drive Hard” & I reckon
that about sums it up. We had nearly perfect weather on the Amalfi coast but in Napoli it is more
Neapolitan i.e. unpredictable & with the possibility of violence. Yesterday it clouded over mid-arvo & some
rain fell. This morning it was warm & sunny but became threateningly overcast about 5 & began to teem,
with thunder & lightning, just as we caught the bus back to Via Possillipo 56. We had our umbrellas after
yesterdays warning but still got wet getting from the bus stop down to our lodgings. We got some great
views today from Castel dell’Ovo across the coast to Vesuvio which dominates the skyline. 4 interesting
incidents today: a young woman (student?) from whom we asked directions to the information office
promptly said “come with me” & proceeded briskly to an intersection quite a distance away so that we
could see it. It was unexpected because it took her well out of her way; at an internet point the operator
pooh-poohed the idea of taking my passport details as the official notice on the wall said was absolutely
required under Terrorist Law 155 of 2005 – I obviously don’t look like a suicide bomber; when the first rain
began to fall around midday we went into a cafeteria & had a coffee to pass the time & paid only €1,00
each for a café latte – we were the only tourists there; on the bus back we realized that though we’d been
inserting our tickets in the machine most of them hadn’t been validated as we’d been putting them in
either upside down or back to front or both.
3/5/07. €100,00 (B&B x2 @ SULMONA 4 stae @ Albergo Salvador ( (+39) 0864
210447) paed ← Hz krdt d) + €1,70 (b&aedz 4 Hz split heel bort @ farmacia) + €3,00 (½ owr ●
nSULMONA) + €14,76 (← smorl supermercato nSCANNO: formaggio (10% goetsmlk), & x2 slszv
spek 4,06; birra (Birra Moretti 66cl) 1,05; GENZIANA (50cl @ 30% lkO)(“Il gusto particolare
dell’infuso in alcohol di radici di genziana, note fin dal’antichià per le loro proprietà,
rende questo liquore particolarmente originale e gradevole. Eventuali sedimenti sono
prova di “NATURALITA””) 8,50; chinotto (L. Tolstoy: “Tutti pensano di cambiare il mondo,
nessuno di cambiare se stesso.”; F. LaRochefoucault: “Chi vive senza follia non è così
saggio come crede.”; O. Wilde: “Nessuno può essere libero se costretto ad essere simile
agli altri.”; C. Chanel: “Per essere insostituibili bisogna essere diversi.”) 0,60) + €4,20 (3 sl
szv ptzr & 2 pszv ptzr pane bortn Strada Roma nth bildn joind2owrz) = €124 [A$211]. A scenically
impressive bus trip to Scanno past hilltop towns & sheer cliffs (Castrovalva was signposted – shades of
M.C. Escher & “Doctor Who”) after a final wander in Sulmona (used an outrageously expensive internet
point to check our email, met the English woman from yesterday & had a final chat). Arrived at the tourist
info office in Scanno just in time to see it close, but only for 5 minutes while banking was done. When it
reopened we had a discussion about B&Bs & hotels with the woman who speaks English when the owner
of one of the B&Bs walked in, a young woman called Alessandra Mastrogiovanni who showed us the room
in a beautifully renovated apartment in an old building only a few steps from the main church, a small
supermercato & the centre of the old town. Its perfect. The house once belonged to a priest whose friend,
the poet Gabriele d’Annunzio, often visited. Cartier-Bresson also spent time in the town photographing the
women in their traditional dress. As we walked around today we saw 4 or 5 elderly ladies dressed so &
they looked very dignified & handsome. Our first major walk was along the road leading out of town
towards the surrounding mountains. The wild flowers are blooming so I gathered an assorted bunch
(including bluebells); saw sheep & goats on the steep mountainside & a pair of sturdy horses (mother &
very new son, still a bit wobbly on his feet with big heavy legs suitable for mountain walking); saw a belled
horse; heard a cuckoo (Litho. folklore about this). There are plenty of walks to do here outside the town as
well as inside. There is a beautiful fresco of a Madonna & Child done in 1418 in the Chiesa di Santa Maria
di Contantinopoli & the architecture is beautiful – windows, doors, gates, fountains, arches – all packed into
a very small steep space, so there are steps & lanes all over. The town is a monochrome – pale tans &
faded terracotta roof tiles. We heard pipe music & singing on an upper street & went up steps to have a
look – a man playing a pipe instrument & one playing a bagpipe were leading a procession to one of the
churches. Alessandra tells us they were people who had been to Cocullo, a village to the north, for the
annual Festa dei Serpari (Snake-Charmers Festival) held on the first Thursday in May in honour of S.
Domenico da Foligno, a Benedictine who performed miracles in the area (the snakes come into it because
the Roman goddess Angizia offered protection from snake-bite in pre-Christian times & the festival is an
example of a pagan ceremony taken over for Christian purposes). They wanted to “party on”. Bought
goats cheese & spek for tea at the minimarket we can see from the bedroom window but there was no
bread to be had in town, so we bought a pizza from the shop literally beneath the B&Bs kitchen window.
Since John hadn’t eaten for 30 hours he felt quite dudded about the bread but discovered when he popped
out to the pizzeria for seconds that they had pizza bases for sale, hot from the oven, so we had a second
course of spek & cheese. John found out from Alessandra that the local liqueur is Genziana made from the
root of the gentian plant infused in alcohol. It is strongly herbal in taste (I reckon its like cough medicine &
it numbs the lips!) & much less palatable (to me) than Limoncello, but when in Rome …. We have an
excellent picture map of the town for negotiating the walks here & a good one of the walks into the
surrounding district. We reckon we’ll have to stay at least 4 days to do it all justice. Had a stroll around a
few streets after dark – all is well lit & very quiet. In the area of greatest action, just near our front door,
the bar & the church are cheek by jowl. We watched 5 middle-aged men come out of the bar, go into the
side door of the church & emerge with a life-sized statue of Jesus which they draped with white cloth &

98
proceded to carry away to an unknown destination (presumably the small chapel we saw earlier in the day
which houses about 20 statues of various saints & the Madonna, no doubt used in special services or in
processions).
10/5 /07. (8.20am rftr  @n  albergo ristorante korld due porte wch hz rsketch x
Sidney Nolan dun jwrn th1986 Spoleto festival (festival dei due mondi) hangn nth room worl).
NNAPOLI & eevn nSCANNO wvbn kumn † st@chuez & z vPadre Pio th hooz dun mor mirklz
thn jzzvNzrth. Th rvnr8d x thdvowt 4 thr gzmplri lvz & thr kpasti 2pr4m mirklz & 2mdi8 nb½v
thsuplknt. Wv now ntrd th♥l& vth poverello (S. Francesco d’assisi (12th snchri)) hoo dspt ♂z
niknaem & prfns 4 naechr zrsponsbl4 thbigst bildn boom nchrch&monstri knstrukshn th hznown.
Dspt ♂z kpastees 4 mirklus ntrvnshn Padre Pio zrsponsbl 4 stablshn i hosptlz. Rstraenjr &
mor anomlus knskwns vth pantheon v zth@ thei rein4s thhrrkkl rraenjt v rfairz x mfszn
th@ sum hv spshl gifts&powrz 2 hoom wr nkurjd 2 oevr owr wil&jujt. Sins moest hvbn chrch
 thei reen4s thothorti vth chrch wch rkrdtsm (saem4 hindoos & boodsts). Padre Pio zbfits n♂ wth
STIGMATA, woz 4vr mfszn ♂z drkt dvoeshn2 thsaekrt ♥ but thknskwns vowr vnraeshn vth
z2 taek powr wae ← jzzvNzrth x nkreesn thpowr vuthr . jzzvNzrth shnz thchrch (fth
ntrprtaeshn & thrkord rkorkt) oenli 1s (ie Peter/rok/kingdum) & mfszz th@ orl wneed2doo z2 hv
faeth & rks n♂z naem 2b grantd wotvr wwsh. F♂ z2b blevd th rnt nssri. (NB. Martin Luther
woz hnSPOLETO n1512 staen nth chrch&knvnt vSan nicolÒ). The church needs the saints to
separate people from God – Christ had said: “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there
also am I.” … €60,00 (B&B  due porte ) + €6,60 (ptzr 1,30; birra (Heineken 33cl) 2,50; succo 1,50
nth piazza della libertÀ) + €2,60 (2mor ptzrpsz nth libertÀ ) + €11,82 (supermercato) = €81 [A$138].
Left the Due Porte on good terms with the cheery owner who said if we ever wanted to come back we’d be
among “amici”. John paid him in cash & he didn’t give us a receipt. Settled in at the monastery of San
Ponziano, via Basilica S. Salvatore 2, ph. 0743 225288 in a spacious room with a door opening onto a
green garden with a view to far hills & walked in the nearby Basilica di San Salvatore, built between the
4th & 5th century AD on the model of a Roman temple with Doric & Corinthian columns & lots of airy space.
Remains of frescoes adorn the walls – it is an evocative place. Most of the day was taken up walking the
old town with 2 brief excursions outside the walls to San Pietro (closed due to restoration work) & to a
church in a monastery of Cuppuccini fratelli in a wooded upper part of the city where there was a chapel to
Padre Pio. Saw the outside of the enormous church-built fortification of the Rocca Albornoziana & the 80
metre high, 230 metre long Ponte delle Torri, a massive bridge-cum-aqueduct that brought water to the
Rocca from a spring on the other side of the ravine. Both were built in the latter half of the 14th century to
enhance Papal power in the area. Discovered the beautiful Chiesa di S.Domenico whose interior walls have
extensive fragments of frescoes from the 1300s. The contrast between the frescoes & the Baroque
paintings hung in the side chapels is instructive. The frescoes are of austere & powerfully plain faces &
figures, often looking directly at you as though saying “Here is the truth, take notice”. The Baroque stuff is
all billowing cloaks & beatific, ecstatic looks toward heaven, the faces soft & almost glamorous , like an
advertisement for the benefits of being a believer. Fat plaster angels & putti often surround the paintings.
It has the opposite effect to the intention – it makes me feel as if its all a fairytale. Indulged in 2 slices of
excellent pizza (thin crust, tasty but sparse topping, a la Napoli) & beer/fruit juice at a small takeaway
place . Then indulged again at the supermarket on the way back by buying some delicious sliced meat &
sheep/cow cheese to eat on buns for tea, along with particularly tasty small tomatoes which we first
discovered in Maiori & eat like grapes. Spoleto is undergoing an extensive restoration program in the old
town & its skyline of domes, towers & spires is punctuated with cranes. Lots of areas are blocked off & the
noise of hammers & machinery is constant. The traffic is heavy & penetrates into the old town narrow
streets, making walking less relaxing than it should be. As a consequence we have decided to move on to
Spello on Saturday. The nun at Opera Barbara Micarelli in Sulmona told us “Spello e bello.” Some breakfast
details per person of the trip so far: Roma: 1 large, crusty, chewy roll, butter, a variety of jams/honey, caffe
e latte (enough for 2 cups); Maiori: 2 cornetti, a very large cup of milky coffee & on most days a slice of
torta; Napoli: delicious, salty omelette, a roll, a variety of jams/honey, tea & coffee, fruit juice; Scanno:
bread, prosciutto, cheese, salami all in any quantity, cake, biscotti, fruit juice, capuccino; Castrovalva:
bread & cheese, 2 kinds of cake, caffe e latte; Sulmona (1st time at Albergo Salvador): fruit juice, cornetto,
caffe e latte; Sulmona (2nd time at convent): bread, honey, caffe e latte (offer of cornetto but we declined),
waffle-made biscotti (Abruzzi specialty); Spoleto(Albergo Due Porte): fruit juice, sweet pastry, caffe e
latte/capuccino. We eat well.
17/5 /07. €165,00 (B&B x3 nts) + €4,00 ( j 4tolini) + €3,20 (mapv SIENA ← nfoe
npiazza il campo) + €11,50 (smorlpl8v pastr, birra (media), aqua frizzante nPiazza il campo) + €1,00
(penna) + €12,48 (supermercatoe off piazza g. matteotti) + €1,80 (birra (Birra Moretti 66cl)) = (lotv 4
7.45pm (← sant d. casa di s. caterina jst owtsd th )) = €199 [A$338]. Said goodbye to the cheery
American novices who presided over breakfast – Sister Denise & Brother Joe (born in the same US town but
only met here in Assisi) - & caught the local bus to Piazza Garibaldi in Santa Maria degli Angeli, Assisi’s
suburb 5ks away. It is dominated by the Basilica Santa Maria degli Angeli, a huge church (1569-1679)
99
which houses inside it the small church of the Porziuncola where St. Clare received the Franciscan cowl
from St. Francis in 1211 & which St. Francis had restored from the ruins of an older church built in the
500s. It became the mother house of the Order of Friars Minor (Francescans). It is beautifully simple amid
the grand surroundings & has a gorgeous painting done in 1393 above the altar, glowing with gold, & a
fresco done by Il Perugino in 1486 on the front wall. It’s amazing to see this church nestled inside the great
Basilica. Caught the Siena bus (luxurious & with a WC on board) to Siena 10.45 & travelled through
sections of pretty Tuscan countryside to arrive in Siena about 12.30. Took the scala mobile up to the old
town where we are staying at Hotel Alma Domus, Via Camporegio 37 Tel. 0577 44177/44487 not far from Il
Campo (Piazza del Campo) which is a hive of activity – tourists all over it, at the bars, ristorante & trattoria
which circle it, & lazing about on the piazza itself enjoying the sunshine. John found the whereabouts of
the local cheap supermarket (Conad) & we bought our tea & stowed it & then took our first stroll. The
churches are massive here – we are close to both Santa Domenico & the Duomo which we can see from
the window of our room. John bought a map (€3,00) from the Information office as the tear-off ones
provided free are too small to use easily. He reckons he’ll have the place down pat by tomorrow. We
sauntered through non-touristy parts near the university & S. Maria di Servi where there are ordinary
places to eat at reasonable prices, unlike the area round the Campo where tourist-land economy operates.
It is an imposing town, supposedly founded by Romulus’s sons Senio & Aschio. In the pre-Augustan period
it was called Saena Julia & its inhabitants had Roman citizenship. In the 12 th century it became a free
commune after having been in succession a bishopric, a Lombard holding & a Carolingian county. Due to
its upper class merchant families it became a great financial, political & cultural centre 1200-1300 when it
was represented at the Champagne Fairs & its banks operated branches in London & Paris. The University
of Siena had renowned Law, Medicine & Natural Philosophy faculties. Between 1303 & 1340 the town
assumed its present appearance as a gothic capital. The Palazzo Communale was built 1295-1340 – the
oldest public building in Italy to have continuously maintained its original function as a town hall. The Torre
del Mangia was completed in 1348 & was an engineering masterpiece reaching a height of 102 metres.
Sienese masters in painting & sculpture flourished as did master craftsmen – goldsmiths, ceramicists,
silversmiths & blacksmiths. The Palio began in the 11th century as “Palii alla lunga” – races that started just
outside the city walls, crossed through the town & ended at the ancient cathedral where the winner
received a pallium (banner) made of expensive cloth. The Palio in its present form started in the 17 th
century – 3 laps around a dirt track (tufa) on the Campo’s outer edge. 17 Contrade (traditional districts
(eagle, caterpillar, snail, owl, dragon, giraffe, porcupine, unicorn, she-wolf, shell, goose, dolphin, panther,
rhino, tortoise, tower & mountain goat) exist in the city, & 10 compete in each palio (July 2, August 16) by
lot & alternation. The jockeys mustn’t be from Siena & the horses are allocated by drawing lots. We saw
the flags of the Contrade in a couple of the churches we visited. Siena has an intact circuit of city walls
made entirely from brick, & brick is the dominant building material. We are looking forward to exploring.
Forgot to mention that in Basilica Santa Maria degli Angeli in an alcove there is a statue of St. Frances
holding a wicker basket containing 2 white doves – the doves are real! Helped today by the friendly Italian
girl in the S.M.D.A. info centre, an Italian girl on the Sena bus who advised us where to get off to get to the
old town quickest, & a Belgian boy who showed us where the scala mobile was & where to find the Campo,
who was studying art (print-making in particular) on a scholarship at the University. John hopped out onto
the little verandah outside our window & discovered a large statue of St. Catherine of Siena with
outstretched arms just 5 metres away – we had seen it when we walked into the Santa della Casa di Santa
Caterina earlier, without realizing we were so close to it.
24/5 /07. Market day in San Gimignano so John anticipated a porchetta (hot roast pork with
salt & rosemary) panini which we found being dispensed from one of the stalls – deliciously creamy fat &
lots of crackling. He had one & then I did (it was 10am – a bit early for me: I ate half & he finished it off).
There were 2 Africans selling handbags & cotton printed tunics & pants. We havent seen many Africans or
gypsies in the smaller towns. John tried to withdraw money from each of the bancomats in the 2 main
piazzas & was unsuccessful – his 7 figure PIN is not acceptable to the old-style ATMs (had the same
problem in Napoli). He was advised in the Monte dei Paschi bank branch to go to the tourist info office
where you can get a cash advance. The very efficient & helpful girl there said they do it but charge 6%
commission! Gave that a miss. Later in the day we found another ATM elsewhere where he had success.
We needed to get cash out because from Spello onwards we’ve had to pay for our accomodation in cash –
the B&B owners & the affitacamere proprietors don’t like the carte di credit – it apparently costs them
money. After coffee & a bottle of water at a bar overlooking the market we headed off for a circular walk in
the Tuscan countryside beginning at the Porto San Marco. First we had to walk 2ks on the asphalt main
road, then turned off onto a gravel road which was fine as there wasn’t much traffic except there wasn’t
much shade either & no obvious ways into the olive groves/vineyards beside the road on both sides. As
the sun bored down we kept having rest stops in whatever meagre shade was on offer until we came to a
vineyard wine-tasting place where we got a vino bianco each to add to the paltry intake of fluid from the
pear & orange consumed earlier on the way. I had 2 mouthfuls & immediately felt woozy, so passed mine
over to John, who said it was excellent. Then finally made it into S.G. & bought aqua minerale to drink
while flaked out in the little park outside the main Porta Giovanni. John’s ankle behaved & my knee was OK
but it keeps getting proven that I cant walk in the heat. I could feel my face going scarlet & it took quite a
while for my body temperature to get back to normal (a cold shower helped). The senora & her daughter
arrived this morning to prepare the room next door & John paid for our 3 nights: €145, but we’d already

100
paid a €12,00 deposit at the Prenotazione in Siena, so all up it was €157,00. The address is: Aladina Bettini
Giomi 53037 S. Gimignano (Siena), Via Berignano 51. Tel./fax 0577 940431 www.aladinas.it ,
1115379@aruba.it for camere con bagno, appartamento. There are rooms to let all over San Gimignano –
the Comune di Siena has a little plaque people screw into their wall. We are “lobbing” into Florence
tomorrow & hope that the booking office in the station is as efficient as the Sienese one. Used the internet
– Kate reported she was feeling ill-effects from a mushroom soup she’d made out of pre-packaged Asian
dried mushrooms, & asked for a narrative-style print of some classic fresco, perhaps featuring Mary. Hope
there’s something in Firenze that will fit the bill. The tourist tide never stops here – people constantly flow
through the S. Giovanni gate from all over the world – lots of Americans & Germans but also Chinese,
Japanese, Canadians, Scots, English, New Zealanders, Australians, Brazilians & Argentinians (one of the
last was wearing a Bondi T-shirt) & that’s just the identifiable ones. There are plenty of Italians too. Some
tourists are really boorish – yesterday a couple came into the Paneteria where we were buying a pizza slice
& just pointed & grunted at what they wanted without a smile or an attempt at civilized communication &
no “per favore” or “grazie” either. This morning while we ate the porchetta panini we sat in the Rocca
where a man was playing the harp beautifully. Another couple with a dog on a lead sat down on the seat
where he had left his gear after carefully brushing it down, quite close to him, & let the dog off the lead.
The dog bounded about & I had visions of it peeing on the harp. It didn’t, but the harpist stopped playing,
collected his stuff, covered the harp & went over to another muso (a harpsichordist we saw yesterday)
who was sitting nearby & said something in Italian I couldn’t understand, probably “Bloody barbarians!”
€145,00 (50,50,45) 4 3nts camera) + €7,00 (porchetta panini x2 @th mrkt) + €7,60 (poochenoez
x2 & kwr friznte) + €6,00 (vwt wn nth wae←← th8k→) + €1,80 (rkwr minrrle x2 ←nsan
gimignano) + €6,90 (supermercato stuf 4 t) + €2,00 () + €1,60 () + €2,00 (Birr Moretti 66cl) =
€180,00 [A$306]
31/5 /07. First port of call was the Capelle Medicee. The ground floor is full of reliquaries
including one for some bit of St. Thomas A’Beckett & one for some bit of John the Baptist – the Medicis
collected all sorts of things. The first floor is a marble mausoleum for the later Medici princes – various
Ferdinands & Cosimos – which is coldly imposing & monumental but did have a lovely decorated marble
altar with inlays in vibrant colours. The second floor is Michelangelos sculptures of Night, Day, Dawn &
Dusk & a beautiful set of statues of Madonna & Child flanked by saints over the tomb of Lorenzo Il
Magnifico & his brother Guiliano. The building (the New Sacristy) was designed by Michelangelo in 1524.
Continuing with the secular theme, we took in the Palazzo Vecchio Quartieri Monumentali, the town hall.
Its construction was begun in 1299 & it was the centre of power of the various groups who ruled the city –
the Medici, the Republic of the Signoria & the Dukes. Its decoration is dominated by Giorgio Vasari with
many battle scenes & a rather stiff, formal style, except for the grotesquerie ceilings which echo the
graceful embellishments we saw in Pompeii & are the work of an artist employed by Vasari who I reckon is
much better than him. The best bits for me were the 12th century rooms where the loos are hidden in the
walls, behind wooden doors & where the plain wooden furniture indicated much use. The rooms of Elanora,
wife of Cosimo 1, the Medici Duke, were lovely too with freizes of putti & scenes on ceiling & walls of
virtuous women in history & the bible. John found the green parrots he’d seen yesterday painted on one of
the ceilings. Some of the marble inlay on chests of drawers was amazing – birds & flowers in blues, greens
& oranges. There’s a lovely little putto holding a sea creature by Verrocchio & a map room with extremely
inaccurate maps. It was well worth seeing. Strolled to Piazza Santo Spirito where we ate a slice of very
good pizza from a bakery around the corner, & where we had seen the white winged sparrow yesterday (it
crossed my mind at the time that it could be the Santo Spirito: too many church experiences!) & where we
had another experience with a sparrow (see John’s entry). Strolled back & forth to Hotel Patrizia with our
purchases for tea, had a leisurely white wine/caffe e latte at a local bar where ordinary citizens
congregate, wandered around till we reached Piazza S.S. Annunziata & got to see inside where it seems
there is continuous devotion happening with a priest singing (we thought mass was on the last 2 or 3
times we went, so didn’t go in) but plenty of visitors wandering around. Checked out the nutrie on our
travels – saw 5 together so they must be a breeding population. A couple of American men saw them too
& one said to the other that he could eliminate them easily with a .22 rifle. He no doubt thought they were
rats but it was an interesting response: shoot first, ask questions later. Used the internet – Dan replied to
my phone message of yesterday: he & Ben are well, its been raining, he’ll watch out for the parcels & he
suggested we change our tickets & stay longer as we seem to be enjoying ourselves (it may be time to go
home – they are feeling too comfortable without us!) John sent a poem to Andrea/Alec/Walter on the
theme of “too many” which he continued while we walked around & which he’ll send when in Venezia. In
the map room John found Kaunas on the map of Lituania. The Baltic was located very close to the Black
Sea & the Crimea. In the grand hall there was a marble statue of Hercules subduing an opponent by
holding him upside down in a vice-like grip, but John noticed that the canny opponent had a similar grasp
on Hercules prick – never fight in the nuddy if you don’t want your vulnerability to be exploited. One of the
other statues was a Michelangelo & there is apparently an unfinished Leonardo incorporated into the wall –
when the Medicis returned in triumph they destroyed or altered all the work the Signoria had
commissioned & brought in Vasari to oversee it. €12,00 (blyti →2 capelle medicee) + €9 (blyti (ridotto) x2
→2 palazzo vecchio quartieri monumentali) + €5,30 (2 pszvptzr e10 nth Pirzr santo spirito wr rsparoe
(Passer montanus) took krumz ← th v (& prchton) Hz h& (rmirkl? Dd san francesco sekrtli fed 
101
2gtm2 hangO)) + €2,00 (panini x4) + €1,60 () + €5,37 (sueprmrto 4 t stuf) + €240,00 (B&B x3 @
Hotel Patrizia paed ← m krdt d) + €2,40 (fe l@e & vino blanko) + €0,05 (tolini) = €268
[A$456].
7/6/07. Spent the greater part of the day in the Giardini Biennale looking through the
pavilions there. John started about 11am & I joined him at 2pm after some window-shopping & a closer
look at the details on the façade of San Marco. The French pavilion was interesting, (1/9/07. an exhibition
by Sophie Calle . Some of the work can be seen by searching under sophie calle biennale on
www.flicker.com ) revolving around the incident of a break-up letter & the interpretations of it & reactions
to it by 107 women – actresses, dancers, athletes, psychologists, comediennes, artists etc. It used film,
photography & written material & was very impressive. It was called “Take care of Yourself”. I liked one
Spanish entry – film of 2 men a la flamenco singers, saying famous names like Gandhi, Mandela etc in a
way that made songs. The Russian effort was impressive too, for me because the poses of the teenagers
were reminiscent of the poses of Christ & the saints in paintings of the crucifixion & the matrydoms – 2 of
the boys in particular reinforced it for me – a long haired redhead (Christ is often a redhead in medieval
pictures) & an Italian looking boy with dark curly hair. An American exhibit featuring autopsy reports by US
military doctors on Iraqi & Afghani males who died in military detention was extremely powerful. The
Russian pavilion was giving away T-shirts so John got one – it will fit Joe but I’ll use it for extra warmth
should the weather be colder in Austria where we will be tomorrow night. The Italian part of the trip is over
& for me its been wonderful. I used to want to be Spanish when I was a kid – now I want to be Italian: the
way they live & interact seems very attractive to me. Found out from an accomodation booklet left by one
of the overnighters at Venexia that the Franciscans offer beds at the Soggiorno San Francesco in Castello
for €11-20/night from July to September. The Biennale experience was free by the way thanks to John’s
connection to Callum Morton via Danius Kesminas – the tickets cost €12,00 (for 65+) & the event doesn’t
officially open for about 3 days; only invitees were in today. By the way, elegant French women leave
elegant women from anywhere else for dead – there were lots of them in the French pavilion & each was a
work of art in herself. Bought a beautiful poster of the Archangel Michael in the San Marco souvenir shop
for €1,50 – now I have to carry it around for the rest of the trip but its worth it. Last night John thought
Callum’s installation was pretty good (he better watch out – there’s a Ukrainian woman doing something
very similar in Campo Santa Maria Formosa) but didn’t enjoy the actual event much, even though it was
the first time he’d heard Histrionics do their art commentary songs. There were 800 people there, the
maximum allowed (uthrz wr prvntd ← ntrn). He most enjoyed the trip back, threading his drunken way
through the maze of Dursoduro & the late-night revellers enjoying the warm evening. €1,50 (bort x H
nthduomo shop) + €3,60 (kafelrte & kpoochenoe) + €2,00 (kafelrte bort x H wl  woz @th
BIENNALE. H ddnt wont2 stae evn wthth fr ntri) + €1,75 (pane 4 t) + €6,16 (sprmrtoe 4 t ← via
garibaldi) = €15,00 [A$26].
14/6 /07 (Journal ♪♫ Austria). Walked along the Wolfgang See as far as Gamsjager Gasthaus
where we had a snack & a drink, then crossed over to the mountain side & walked back to St. Gilgen
through forest into the suburb called Laim. Watched the hang-gliders landing in a field we can see from
our bedroom window. Found out the train timetable from Salzburg to Melk from the Infohaus (we change
over in Amstetten). Had a rest in our room before heading down to the Zentrum for tea at the Hotel
Christerbaur (which has a lovely relief of the 4 apostles with their symbols on the front) – a “Farmers
Omellette” each, served in a hot frying pan, consisting of potatoes, ham & egg which was very large &
very filling. Walked down to the lake past the yacht club where we saw the swan family having dinner on
the grass, & back by little lanes. The weather is great & John had a swim in the lake. There are lots of
Japanese tourists here, though the English are probably the biggest group after Germans & Austrians.
Chatted to some English women on our stroll out this morning – they’ve been to Spitz & Slovenia,
reinforcing our suspicion that the English are travellers in retirement. A woman who owns a shop of
beautiful knick-knacks told us the Hotel Post does indeed date from 1415 but has been built up over the
years (originally single storey) & that the fresco on the façade is touched up every 20 years or so (last
done 5 years ago). We picked wild strawberries, tiny & bright scarlet & sweet; saw 2 very large dogs with
their owners having an evening stroll; & on the way down from the mountain side found an abandoned
stick & boots hanging on a signpost. The boots were falling apart & the stick seemed broken but John
worked out that it had just come unscrewed & was able to fix it so I now have a third leg & will look as silly
as all the other walkers who have one. €13,20 (lunch x thlaek nABERSEE @ Gasthof Gamsjaga) +
€3,60 (b& fruetjws ← sprmrkt) + €25,60 ( (frmrz omlt x2) & 2 bz (Maisel’s Weisse) & sdkofi
@ Hotel Christerbauer nMozart (“Mozart was definitely influenced by birdsong. He
owned a pet starling, and in his notebooks he recorded a passage from the Piano
Concerto in G Major as he had written it, and as his pet starling had revised it. The bird
had changed the sharps to flats. When his starling died, Mozart sang hymns beside its
grave and read a poem he had written for the bird. His next composition, “A Musical
Joke”, has a starling style. If a musical genius like Mozart admired and learned from a
bird it seems extremely likely early humans learned from birds when they were
102
inventing the first human music.” Temple Grandin & Catherine Johnson Animals in
Translation © 2005 Bloomsbury) Platz & →← Café Nannerl (naemd rfta Mozart’s ssta hoo lived n
x) ntfa ← Wolfgang (Amadeus) (See) nth shorvwch thrza fowntaen ddk8d2 Mozarts mum (livd
nx)) = €42 [A$71].
21/6 /07. Did an excursion to Durnstein (9/12/08. John unconsciously kept calling it Rumsfeld,
after Donald) as planned – a free train trip there (3 stations away) as the ticket machine on the train
seemed to be out of order. Durnstein is a very well preserved walled town complete with ruined castle
overlooking it where Richard Lionheart spent some time waiting to be ransomed in 1193-94. Here is the
story according to the Durnstein information office handout: “In 1188 the Third Crusade began. Friedrich I,
Barbarossa, the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, honoured the promise he had given to the Pope and marched with the
Christian crusaders toward Jerusalem in order to recapture the city from Sultan Saladin. Also taking part were the French
king Phillip II, the English king Richard the Lionheart and the Austrian Duke Leopold V of Babenberg. ¶ In 1190 Friedrich
Barbarossa, nearly 70, died on his way to Jerusalem. After his death fierce disputes between the other sovereigns broke out.
Duke Leopold V of Babenberg felt cheated out of his booty by Richard Lionheart at the conquest of Akko. In addition, Richard
had torn down the Austrian flag which had been hoisted and the Duke felt seriously insulted and returned to Austria. ¶ On
his way home from the Crusade Richard was shipwrecked near the Italian coast in December 1192. He tried to return to
England via Germany. At Erdberg, then a little village near Vienna, he was recognized when his servant attempted to pay
with a conspicuous Byzantine coin. ¶ Duke Leopold had Richard taken captive and handed him over to his reliable vasal, a
Kuenring, who imprisoned him at Durnstein. The royal prisoner was allowed to receive troubadours. This privilege may have
been the reason for the legend of the troubadour Blondel, which came into existence much later. In March 1193 the Duke
handed his prisoner over to Emperor Henry VI, Barbarossa’s son, who demanded a ransom of 150,000 marks in silver for
Richard’s release. At that time this was an exceptionally large amount of money. After payment of the first instalment
Richard was allowed to return to England in March 1194. The Duke received a sum of 50,000 marks from the ransom. ¶
According to romantic legend Blondel, King Richard’s servant had been looking for his master in several countries. He
travelled from castle to castle, singing at every one of them a stanza of a song only known to his King and himself. Having
arrived at Durnstein he sang his song and suddenly he heard the second stanza in return. He had found his master at last.”
We walked up the hill to the castle ruins where John achieved the very top & I declined & sat on a wall in
the shade watching 2 mad abseilers preparing their climb up a rock face further along the hill. He chatted
to a couple from Perth who were cycling/catching trains towards the Czech Republic. Back into town (John
saw his third squirrel, a charcoal gray, on the way down) for a very expensive traubensaft g’spritzi at the
Richard Lowenhertz Hotel overlooking the river, & a follow up beer/wine at the very reasonably priced café
at the ferry stop on the riverbank, where a pair of mallards came to be fed by the girl selling the ferry
tickets (€10,00/person to Spitz, 50 minutes away against a strong current). The female was clacking her
beak in an obvious request for food. Walked along the river path to find a swimming spot – in the secluded
bits of the bank, sheilded from the path & road by willows were little groups of sun-worshippers getting all-
over tans. At one spot a ferry went past as we were standing in the water & the wash caused quite strong
waves. At another, we’d just got organized to go in when a bloke in a singlet & shorts arrived, stripped off
completely & sat reading the paper on the pebbly shore. It was a bloody hot day. Back to the town with
dark clouds threatening & a strong wind as a group of Japanese arrived. Big fat drops of rain chased us
into a gasthaus for an early instalment of dinner, which meant we missed our train back to Spitz & had to
wait an hour. A helpful lady on the train showed us how to get tickets – in the morning we’d been pressing
the wrong buttons. That was good though, as the money we didn’t spend on the train tickets was used to
pay to get into the monastery church which had impressive gilded wood carvings – but the Baroque style
is still too busy for me. The tower is impressive though, painted in blue & white with a terrace overlooking
the river. In both towns (probably in all in the Wachau) there are lots of fruit (apricots, apples) & nut
(walnuts, almonds) trees on public land as well as in private gardens. At the “Spitzerl” which we’ve
adopted as our “local” there are at least 4 apricot trees in the beergarden, nicely laden with ripening fruit.
Outside the Durnstein info office there’s a small public park with 4/5 trees heavily laden (we ate a few but
they were still a bit tart). John is wrapped in the idea. Many years ago he also planted fruit trees
(nectarines) in the nature-strip of our house in Forest but they were broken off as saplings probably by kids
trying to climb them. He remembers his parents being thrilled to find fruit trees in Germany towards the
end of the war. €5,20 (dv DÜRNSTEIN n1649 (0,40) & ts x2 → Stiftskirche Dürnstein &
gzbshn & terrs) + €8,00 (Traubensaft x2 @ Richard Lowenherz Romantik Hotel & Restaurant
nDÜRNSTEIN oevr n thDonau – wnw paed thbil ♀  “HAV R NS DAE”) + €5,80 (weissbier
(0,5) & lklolfreb nkst2 thferi) + €1,20 (vwtwn @ saem br) + €12,00 (bratwurst,
traubensaft & bier @ Gasthaus Pibitz nDÜRNSTEIN) + €4,60 (ts x2 DÜRNSTEIN → SPITZ) +
€14,60 (2nd nstorltv  @ Spitzerl oevr n thDonau bak@ SPITZ) = €51 [A$87].
20/9 /07 (River ♪♫). Meringo → Moruya (4 ptrl & NRMA fre mapvthkost) →
Batemans Bay (kofe & pprz & eg&  (4 ♂m)) → Berri (π x2 & (lmn skwsh 4 ♀r &
lmnlim&btrz 4 ♂m) → 7 Mile Beach National Park (kss ½ wa btwen Gerroa & Shoalhaven
Heads; →d 4 O 1hr 2man prk thru th4st & ← rlong thbech).
27/9 /07. Th rmazn vrteov♪ wch woks thsmornn & rkumpned owr ♥n, zwlz th f
nth topsv thgums lrst nt & thvre numrus frfls nth ndrstore r ksplanbl x thfkt th@th
103
eucalyptus orl O us nths nekv l& wr r krek joinz thBellinger River rn flowr … COFFS HARBOUR
(shopn (H 4got 2 x ♀r slst chez); pprs nr kfe nth hrbrfunt;  8 rpesv b@rd ) →
WOOLGOOLGA (chktowt thWoolgoolga Creek Flora Reserve 4kz w← town (wr H kopt 3 lechz: 1
lrjr wthr ylo strp nth nkl & 2 ltl blk 1z btwen thtoz) → GRAFTON (ptrl) → JACKADGERY (44kz ←
GRAFTON rlong th Gwydir Highway →dz GLEN INNES; 4 s 2  nth mgnfsnt Mann River wch d
z →2 th Clarence River wch → thru GRAFTON →2 th @ YAMBA & ILLUKA) → nth rvrbank (20kz
rlong r mnr rod 2 rloklte korld Hanging Rock wr rbrij †† thrvr; n z hvnt got mor thn rduzn rz
(9/12/08. Monday 22/10/07)  ant givn 0 rwa x  t nplan nglsh – “this is one of the best
spots weve ever camped in. The Mann River flows fast over rocks like a mountain
stream but is wider than the Murray. Weve tested the water in a beautiful swimming hole
just below where we are parked on a rise from which we can see the river winding its
way from mountains in the distance. The temperature is perfect and the water is clear.
Free ranging black cattle have browsed the paddock we are in to the consistency of lush
lawn. The large gums scattered around are in full flower & visited by numerous Rainbow
Lorikeet (Trichoglossus haemotodus). A pair of Pied Butcherbirds (Cracticus
nigrogularis) observed us closely to make sure we didn’t leave any food out for them to
snatch. The sun has set. The river is a silvery band. Water is churning loudly over rock to
soothe our nights. We are without neighbours.” (1/3/09. v rdoptd thprakstsv kwo10 n1v
“several versions of Garamond based on the designs of Claude Garamond. It is thought
that Garamond based his font on Bembo, cut in 1495 by Francesco Griffo in collaboration
with the Italian printer Aldus Manutius. Garamond types were first used in books printed
in Paris around 1532. Many of the present-day versions of this type are based on the
Typi Academiae of Jean Jannon cut in Sedan in 1615. ¶ Claude Garamond was born in
Paris in 1480. He learned how to cut type from his father and by the age of fifteen he
was able to fashion steel punches the size of a pica with great precision. At the age of
sixty he was commissioned by King Francis I to design a Greek alphabet; for this he was
given the honourable title of royal type founder. He died in 1561.”  The House of
Wittgenstein: a Family at War  Alexander Waugh).
4/10/07. Hz ltrre f4t ystrda hz ntmd8d me 2 thks10t  n10d 2 mak ths short. ♥makn lrst
nt & rgan thsmornn woz huj (9/12/08. & th@ woz onli 1yrgo!!! – m  n? (if so, I must be too
(10/12/08. ths mornn woz OK t))), lk owr uzul ruten ntrips nth prst. Zt thbn l fktov me bn ON
THE WAGON (9/12/08. m goen bak nth drink (1/1/09. t ma not))? M  rkvrn ← owr kssz nowr
talian trip (nkludn mdrvo sshnz)? Hv  bn 4gvn 4 doont nkonvnts nful vu vth Ole  hangn nth
worlz? Praps thbowtv MPO10S woz t 4 m own good zt kurd m SHAGGERZ BACK (9/12/08.
t zt rfair t d?) – 4 th bn @ lest. Evn b4 owr mornn sshn th wr ♪♫ butfle. W spnt thda doon
thbst rvr → wv dun sofr. Twoz hot so w  n e mgnfsnt poolz but u nt  nvre gr8 pool u zthr
wr 2 e vthm.  srprzd 2 lrj Eastern Water Dragons & nth 1st pool w  n rlrj BLACK
kamn 2 joinus & dmnstr8d tz own lgnt n stl. Fownd nuthr komplet TORTOISE shl 2 + 2 m
klkshn & r BULLOCKs  wth HORNZ. Wr stl nr lrnn  wth thDIGITAL kmrr so H took r lv shots
vme wthth  BETWEEN ME LEGS n Sam Newman (vThe y Show) pozz.
11/10 /07. (  thru h yrgo (b4  woz  r ) nth wa ↓S 2doo sum →n
BINGARA

nth Mount Kaputar National Park (owtv Narrabri) & lktt thn; @th Imperial Hotel (ownd x r♂/♀
vl@vin bkgrownd) met Richard Narbutas & ♀ & promst2 e Monday → ♂m (30/10/07. ddt but got
no knljt)) → (98kz; vr d2r 2 Lake Copeton wch wznt ntrstn) → TSR (Travelling Stock Route) rfu
kz shortv BUNDARRA nth Gwydir River → (42kz) → rsrv ofthrod → YARROWYCK (nt ) One of
John’s preoccupations – coincidence – occurred today. We sat down at a table outside the Bingara pub
(licencee Ozolins) next to a couple to read the papers over coffee, got to chatting about travelling,
mentioned Italy, mentioned having no Italian but an obscure other European language & the bloke said
“Lithuanian?” Turns out he’s an Oz-born litho from Newcastle & his partner is a native-born Bingaran! He
teaches maths at a high school, is recently divorced & re-evaluating his life. He reckons after a lengthy
time working hard & fulfilling the aspirations of his grandfather’s & father’s generations (responsibility,
hard work, financial stability) he may have had his priorities wrong, especially where his children’s need
for his time where concerned. Now he reckons that the divorce settlement will not leave him much more
than the funds to buy a van or motorhome so he can do some travelling. He hasn’t been to Lithuania,
though he gets more interested as he gets older. His grandfather was the original immigrant and he
remembers parties, songs, accordion playing etc. with nostalgia. The TSR we are on is administered by the
104
Lands Board at Armidale & has no signage to indicate we are not allowed on it, unlike the TSRs we saw in
the Grafton area which all had no camping signs. Its very peaceful here compared to the NPs where there
always seem to be some traffic flow (to do day trips, collect firewood etc.) & you are almost obliged to be
at least polite to your neighbours by greeting them. This can initiate unintended socializing which may or
may not be compatible. Here the only visitors could be the cattle we saw in the distance, or, as this
morning, curious horses who came & tasted the windscreen & used the bullbar for a scratching post. We
are still on the Gwydir. Found another tortoise shell on the side of the road to Lake Copeton (entrance fee
required, landscaped surrounds, a bit on the ritzy side) seemingly ks away from the river. Perhaps there
was a stock dam close by. Just been noticed by a farmer in a ute checking his cows – will move as our
privacy is no longer guaranteed. Now in bushland off the Gwydir Highway.
18/10 /07. Gloucester River st (Corvus, Strepera, & Dacelo novaeguineae
kompet 4 yr lunch; Malurus cyaneus pk↑ thkrums; thrr Menura novaehollandiae O) → (17kz) →
Gloucester Tops Walking Tracks (dun thRiver, Beech Forest & Gloucester Falls →s) n 3howrz) →
(115kz, 6 4dnz vth Gloucester River; vr Stratford nth Avon River (thrz lso r Stratford nth Avon
River nGippsl&, E← vSALE; Stroud Road) → DUNGONG (bort pz x2; nfo ) → (34kz; rftr sd
trips 2 4 sutbl s) → pknk  nkst2 Williams River ner BANDON GROVE 4 thn t → (20kz; nspktd mor
 nth 4st) → kam← 2 btr  ntopv rhil nBANDON GROVE.
20/12 /07 (X-mas 07). Petmans Beach → (rlong Old Orbost Road: where I stopped @
a forestry WP (H2O ) & z woz  thpondj thnkn 2mslf twoz gzaktle thkndv  4  rhuj
red- ed black – thn wn  woz  thnkst WP thnkn O rgn  nuthr huj red- ed black. But th
3 WP   hd no red- ed black nkst2t, ownle th
rd
krokn (wch thei orl hav)) → Orbost (kfe, The
Age) → (Drummond Rain Forest Walk wr  t 4 rsnooz - w ths lthrje?) → Genoa (@ thrvrs
d prk. v 8 rs&wj & m → 2 wad nth rvr …. Tz rgr8 rvr: gr8 H2O OO 4  ; rbig el; th100% UV -
proof polroid br& ☼  fownd ntown r good 4 H2O; w must kum← h(9/12/08. & w dd nth nxt
p ndv jan 08 t ddnt  jrnl ♪♫. Twoz nuthr gr8 p.) → Nullica River mouth (rzrv 7ks ↓S
vEden; strol → ← bch b4  ).
27/12 /07. Mumz nkresngle nk d 2  O thprst & shn domstk evnts  hvnt d
b4. Tho m gr&frthr woz vre rljs l8r, ♂ hdbn r CICILIKAS n♂z yuth. Thsz rnu werd 4 me &t menz
natheist. Tz proble slang uzd x orthdox (STAČIATIKIAI) blevrz 2 rm wth KATALIKAS (holic) 2
dzgn8 thbrord gorev nnblevrz. Nsdntle, thwerd 4 ‘old believer’ z SENTIKIS. Mum hd rbad nt wth
rprlongd drem (kntnud ech ♀ →  n4 chptrz) nwch ♀ woznt shor wthr ♀ woz  rnt.  hd rbad nt
← orl thovretn & korfe drnkn l8 @ nt. But nth mornn w  & ♀ rst tl  lft @ 12 rftr  H nMelb.
Ben & Dan r stl rwa nth bush havn slptowt 4 r 3 rd nt - rrkrd 4 thm. → (shopt↑ @ Coles nEpping)
→ Kangaroo Valley (korfe, Sydney Morning Herald, , “world’s best pie” (stak & kdne) 4 $6) → (v
r Nowra: rhuj trafk jam ↓S so  2 Currarong ) → Currarong (& ← @ ABRAHAMS BOSOM
RESERVE ( Sunday 23/12/07 (9/12/08. l nSYDNEY rgan 4 xmas ev (4 th Kūčios owt – H
rvz x  nth 29th)))) 4 thnt. d n10 2b frthr ↓S (eg @ Bawley Point r Meringo). Goen 4 r .)
6/3/08 (YORKE PENINSULA). ROBE 9.45am. (w8n 4 thMelb pprz 2rv). I wish I could
describe the confusion I felt, & still do 2 weeks later, as I stood in front of the GEDIMINO STULPAI (
) memorial after my initial surprise at seeing 1st my fathers name, and then only a little further down
the column of brass plaques, the name of the major on the off chance of finding evidence of whom I
had come looking midweek to the ♣. Though I have walked through this foyer countless times in the
intervening 8 years since  the story 20/6/00 which started one of the main themes th@ haunted
me during my project of outs (the murder of the jews of lithuania) in which I describe the last time I
stood in front of the memorial I havent thought to glance at it on a single occasion or to check on
the identities of the men whose names are engraved on the plaques. If I were able to tease out the
separate elements of what I felt perhaps I could arrange them into an order, fix them down, label
them, overcome them, and dismiss or forget them …. Fresh Water Lake (½ way btween ROBE &
Nora Creina Bay) 6.15pm. But I cant get a handle on it. The emotion is too complex, too pervasive,
too diffuse. Like a faint nausea caused by the presence of putrid remains invisible in the forest
undergrowth nearby or the 1st hint of discomfort in the hour before you come down with a bout of food
poisoning. In his book on molecular biology, Erik Kandel explains how an organism can have a
reaction to a stimulus at a neurological level below the threshold at which a response is elicited.
105
Memory traces which modify subsequent behaviour can be laid down without us giving expression to
them at the time or even being aware of them. Perhaps th@s how it is but more so @ the complex
levels where different aspects of our personalities are organized & integrated. Nevertheless I intend
to make an effort to unravel some threads to my bewilderment. But not now – its cooling down by the
lake, weve got to get our picnic stuff back to the car & look for a place to park for the night.
13/3 /08. ARDROSSAN (3pm nth shad & owtv thvri☼wnd @ th vth red klf n thp
 wr th & thFalcon (Falco peregrinus) liv nth ljz ; ☼ lk hl; ths mornn @ TIDDY WIDDY BEACH
th 1st ☼ td hetn↑ th rle ut w stl jd thPOMPEII POSITION ( Saturday 12/5/07) - evn @
owr aj wr makn dskvrez!;  off thp; fnsht n A Sorrow Beyond Dreams x Peter Handke sitn
nth stps ledn  th ← thp; π & prste, , pprz; wr trpt x th☼; H2O zr longwa of @ low td but m
4r …. 6.20pm. Tz lk rfurnas owt thr but w fownd r nth shad & owtv thwnd 4 t; prdktnz 40C &
strong wndz rgan 4 ADELAIDE 2moro ….  nth H2O, nth p, drnk nth pub – lernn 2slo↓; ←
TIDDY WIDDY BEACH 4 thnt.
20/3 /08. Ovrnt  (STANSBURY (YORKE PENINSULA, GULF ST.VINCENT nS.A.) nth 4shor
@ S nd x th trak nkst2 thsmtre (wr thr r sum  Masons hoor pr le (9/12/08. definitely are – but
distant) Hz reloz)); r vrl vhowrz  Pitts Cutting @ thS ndv thtrak 4  shops 2 x The
Advertiser & The Australian; rkfrst nth 4shor opst thpub; 4got  ystrda: 1. @ surfers
campground w fed r½ gron wch sn@chd red  owr - twl korz prol mz wnt groz; 2. thrz r
smok nStansbury  wch  ort smokt Tommy Ruff, Mullet, & Salmon (@ Warooka thrz nuthr
smok wr tha spshlz nsmokn utter filts (thrwz nonz Mulloway or  (nN.S.W.) ut thps
 trd woz wa2 ☼t) knsdrn mslf nksprt sins m sta nKURŠIU MARĖS (Curonian Spit) n m 1st
trip  litho ( Wednesday 30/6/04) & m kspins nsmokn el wth Vaidas usn rvr rdgum
(Eucalyptus camalduensis). Nlithl&  prfr hot (ie kwk) smokt wchz much sir, ls ☼t & tastr ( t
hz2  nth sam da) thn kold smokt (wch orl tasts thsam ut lrsts mch longr &f vkum-pakt
ndfntle). N4chun8le thonle mthod tha uz hzkold smokn. Ma tha hdnt dv hot smokn. Th♂ n
STANSBURY mports wood  Sweden ut th♂ n Warooka uzz rdgum; w jst hd r  K8 2 Michael
hz n hosptlzd rfta r sktk psod @ Viewmont wr ♂ puncht Dennis nth chst & bak. ♂z nUpton
House, thsk wrd v ox Hill Hosptl).  Port Vincent ( pprz ovr nth pub; 8 tne psv ; thrz
r z dvlpt h)  STANSBURY (kold wnd, slt drzl, 02do; lost $2 nth pokez @ thpu , 8 
trn  thwnd hnd th ; wl 2 th e 2nt – 1st gamvth zn; thrz rf v32 Cygnus atratus nth
GULF ST. VINCENT owtfrunt.)
17/4 /08 ( ). DANYO RESERVE (8.35am. map nkuvrv DANYO RESERVE (no 53);
 rsosi8 ths  wth r kold wt shnn nm  thru th vth . Lunr ma . @ 66  hv no sstm v
drz r dolje 2 gv r  2 m  kspt thprdokskl nolj th@  DONT KNOW & thoz hoo klam tha doo
rlso dont. If thwerd z2 rtan ne menn thPART must rman rPART.  nt warm mslf wth owtraj @ z
stupddtz, onle kr @ hz komplk tz.  dont no wr m gon – Flinders Ranges? Gawler Range?
Macdonnells?  rort maps 4 orlvm)   Murrayville (x The Age)   (15kz rlong thwa
 rerlzd m POPTOP wz -  hdnt poott wn  lft thrzrv & hd drvn @ 100+kz 4 20kz. Twoz r
mrkl  ddnt cht nr ch nth wa owtv thrzrv. 1st v dunt. Thrz no dmj.)   (vr Pinnaroo)
  Loxton ($70 ptrl; The Age ovr ; shopn;  Joe re t slkshnz; msj H)  
Burra (topt ptrl; thtr wch woz Od nArdrossan woz2 20psi so @ thtr grj rhoo t O 12
butwoz 16 trd2 lok8 th slo lek nskssfle but pumt thspair wch woz rlso 2 20psi 4 $20 (☼ blo th
hl @ 5.35pm) so m kspnsz 4 2da = $120)   Red Bank Conservation Park (m  nth
da vztrz  () koz thrz r  n1v th 10 sts nth  ; thsz thplas wrthav dugowt rlotv
MEGAFAUNA bonz; tz O 15kz Ev Burra; kntnu n Cosmos x Witold (m frthrz nam) nlitho)
Gombrowicz).
24/4 /08. 4 th2nd mornn nro v n vztd @  x r mgnfsntle (vvd mauv krst) mrkt
Western Bowerbird (Chlamydera guttata), r   nvr 4…. 1v th etrz nth gorj zth Grey-
headed Honeyeater (Lichenostomus heartlandi), rlso r1st. …. Lft @ 9.00  @ 2.00 r ltl poopt, ma
dhd d, & sum feln nth rt nkl, th1  get 10dnts n. Dont wont2 ovrdoot & trigr sumtn so
106
erle nth trip so la nth 4 rmidarvo doz. m stike wth swet ut Scorpion Pool (Larapinta Trail)
wr  2 hopn 4 rwosh woz dr. … wosht shirt & soks; nspktd x r fmleov Variegated Fairy-wrens
(Malurus lamberti, race: assimilis) …. Rfta ☼ d 2 thgorj 2 th Black- d Rock Wallabies:
thr r onle 3 remn poplashnz lft. Tha r kwt eze 2 . Thr wr 3 nunz vztn th Mother Teresa ordr.
Tha hv r  n Alice Springs. Tha  thr r16  norstralir. Tha vzt borjnl komuntt wth ofrzv spirchl
hlp. 4 th 2nd nt m x mslf – th@s koz n z h.
1/5/08 .  @ Serpentine Gorge da vztrz    (100kz;  Zebra Finch (Taeniopygia
guttata) wnt hit bont)   Alice Springs (re@@cht thpoptop hook: ½ owr jo - $35;
ysrtrdaz The Age wth ; 2 H 4 ½ owr 4 fre nth 33 $29/munth kapskem: Danz pantn thkchn,
♀ Michael 2moro, ♀ joind r ftns progrm; shopt 4 rwek @ suprmrkt; (ptrl, H2O, etc.)   sam 
@ Serpentine Gorge (dskuvrd u kn  thpool @th n x wadn thrut!!! ( Wednesday 30/4/08) –
wot ls wch rp kstrmle dfkult rmpos bl zprfktle smpl wn u no how?; dip nth SPIRIT SERPENT
pool thn setld nth hetvthda nth shad vth gorj x thpool 2 fnsh n Pornographia – gr8 - m rko
dashnz. Witold Gombrowicz: wotr gr8 modrnst  -  tak m h@ off 2♂m; 2da 31°c; mslanir:
Burgen Rye for DIGESTIVE BALANCE; 3 types of fibre lrsts4 ovr rwek; tz ezi 2 kep rsngl pair v
pants klen x n nm; borjnez n Alice r x-n  Listerine (22% lokhol) nth sprmrkts 2 drnkt; thledr vth
WA libs SNIFFS CHAIRS ♀♀ s@n - ♂ mustv m In Transit ( Wednesday 20/3/05)).
8/5/08. ut w  rO? Lts r wthth utfion vth lngwj. So  ntros thnxt nu
rul:  nowon rprznts nt onle thsowndv thwerd ut rlso th T-R. & 4 x z, st&z 4 th
R-A-N zwlz R-U-N & R-U-S-H.  chuz ute b4 klarit evri . Rwa with Julius kzr & th roz –
wlkum thdrk ajz; wlkum Paracelsus & ms , wlkum 2th nuajv KAOS. Lt lngwj nns t 4
xkluzion, nt nkluzion ( rezn mslf 2 luzn orl fuchr mpashnt rz hoo, lk H,  r onle rfta n
thlrst paj 1st); 4 thxchanjv krts, nt th opn 4um. Tz 2 t pl n ! …. Spnt thda n th krek wch d
 th£ 2 Ormiston Creek wch d 2 thmt FINKE rvr. Wotr utfl krek tmust wn thOO
rfild wth H2O, ut orl r 1 wr dr.  fel m fnrle rkapchrn sumv m n s nth. Th mldr
wthr hlps. Nth wa  took wotwoz pro le m fnl a ushn nr pool @ Ormiston Gorge. N
  r♀/♂v Black-fronted Plover (Charadrius (Elseyornis) melanops).
15/5 /08. Trephina Gorge. Spnt thO da n  s m kanynz nth sdv thj.  2th
kav & got thmacro shots  1td. i kl wth me doon no damj 2 thr.
Tha  gO thn rwa rgan. Wth th  m torch  folod 1v thsd tunnlz wrdz rlong rkerv tilt got
stfln hot so th@  brokowt 2 rswet & woz long owtv vth ntrns. Tkeptn @ n ht t  got
wored O thpos t vnoxious gasz &v m torch gonowt so  . 1s rgan  hd svrl xlnt nz vth Dusky
Grasswren (Amytornis purnelli) nkludn 1  kood klerle wth thnakd  & how frst tkood rlong
thgO.  8 m  nth mowthvth kav gr8fl 4 thrmazn tknoljz v lithium & LED . Fm
torch hd gornowt  woodhv fownd thxit wth thpreflash m  th .  fel v rkapchrd sum rspkt
n 4m. 1 kanyn took me nr sngl stp nkln lk rsld shut orl thwa 2th  th j. Twoz 2 vrtjnus 2 
thsamwa so  t ovr thtop 2th kav kanyn & 2 Trephina Creek. Th@ woz nth hetv
thda.  nt 4morthn 6 owrz koz  hv2   3.30 – 4.00 2hv 4 r nth pool, mak , &
 thez ♪♫ 4 ☼. Rlso 2da m nkl gav sum ndiionz vovr wrk so v takn 500mg vNAPROSIN &
4 setnowt 2moro l tak 1000mg. Nuthr ndir th@ 6 owrz nrj ktvt zO m limt zth@ nth wa
@thndv thda 2da &n svrl uthr okzionz v hd r ttns/dskum4t nth rt sdv m chst nth v th.
Ma tmenz 0 t ma t “dont ovrdoot”.
22/5 /08. ts& z: 4got2 shn rlv dayz rgo  d meslf nth ln vr kav - nle
; (DINGO  r ♪♫♪); d orlda & fownd i gr8 poolz nkludn 1 wth prfktle kl H2O wr u kood
th ottm vrwr &t hd utfl fl@ pl@f4m rok n rt O & rkuriys ndrH2O grdn wch  ; m sokn
me nkl rfu /da hopn th@  kepnt kool & fednt 1000mgz vNAPROSIN  prvntt  blon -
Sebastien Kneipp & AFL t plarz nt orl rong; ♀/♂ Dusky Grasswren (Amytornis purnelli);
m feln thrild @ n a 2 orl da rgan @ lrst (lft 8.18  4.45); t  thH2OH2O vth man krek & woz
vre xtd  thmgnfs ston l&skap wchz simlr 2 Mootwingie wr v rlso d 2 ; (☼ now –
107
6.00); …. th jr kamO 2th☼ pknk  @  &  yr nt rlowd 2 nth prk &    woznt wchz u
z2nt m n H so  hv2 @th rzort niwa. Wn ♂ fowndowt  off ♂  thrr  yrnt rlowd2
n. Wn  rkst ♂m ftha r mrkt ♂  no! ♂ rkst me wr d n & wn   ♂m ♂  yr mus fit; 
pad4 2mor nts @th rzort ($13.50 x2) & @th shop bort: 3 z, b&adz, glo map & przntashn vth ;
tz qt nth rzort 2nt xspt 4 thDINGO  vhoom thrr 4 ro O – nxt wek r jr zgon2 apm
koz tha stl 2rsts boots; (DINGO  rvre ♪♫♪ 2nt. Ma tha hvr przntt vth STROFE nxt
wek); ….  Ivanhoe. Dan nswrd. Michael hdr mnr zur 2da & woz  vhosptl. Dan duznt no wn
Hz  rf ♀z 2 Ivanhoe r West Melb. ….  lv K8 & Joe, & lft msj 4 H.
29/5 /08. Ovrn  @ Penola Conservation Park (u wdnt evt  t z woz  lrst n
t nuthr puldn (1 ♂) 2  4 thnt!; how  froz rn thnt - ttwoz 2kold 2get & pulowt rnuthr
ankt; : s&wch, o j, ; 4got 2shn ys da th@ m w8 hz med8le rest th simtmz vth
oesofrjts & vth apner; m r frezn z )   Casterton ( & The Age)   Skipton
(: 1½ s&wchz + 2 o jz)   Smythdale (p l: 45 l z @ 157c/l 4 $70.65 4 425kz = 9.5 l
z/100kz)   (vr BALLA ; gzktle r asn owr lrst ip ( Wednesday 26/3/08) wn wwr ku
 kozv Michaelz hosptlzashn 2 r sko psod & now m  2th kntnuashn vth kwl 
 MELBOURNE.
4/9/08 (dr cunt ). nth talnz vth old G d Duke Mine nth bank vth dr Bet
Bet Creek (wok 2th karolnv rftr 16 howrz n; wocht r lv hairs lolopn O @ brkfrst)  
(vztd Timor Primary School &  prn pl; H @th runz vth Warneek Primary School (
Wednesday 3/9/08))   (vr Bet Bet (lokalt) wr Hz gr8gr&muthr Honora razd r famli nkludn
♀r Nana)   Dunolly (where the birth of my grandmother, Margaret Harriet Dryburgh (nee Robinson,
daughter of Honora Skelly & James Robinson) was registered in 1888. James, from Kent, U.K., was a
limeburner like his father-in-law, Thomas Skelly, and is buried I think in Dunolly Cemetery, though
investigations are proceeding. Ellen Skelly’s accident (see Tuesday 9/10/07) was reported in the “Dunolly
& BetBetshire Express” of Friday June 29, 1888. In the bakery they are still selling its descendant local
newspaper); & The Age & Herald Sun nth bakri nman st & bort bunz;  man st.)  
(vr sm (3kz N vDunolly ) n Painkiller rd (old nam) wr w ddnt fnd James t  tail
(Stagonopleura guttata))   (vr St Arnaud, Donald, Warracknabeal, Beulah, Hopetoun,
Walpeup, Underbool)   Danyo Reserve (15/10/08. Danyo Reserve (no. 53)) ( u2
thprn plz vmprovzashn wv no kl avln planz (now th@th famli ♂s zdun) &  hv no  rjndr)
11/9 /08. Thdaz  nbref: owr uzul am6 serna  “the deep, mellow, liquid
and s ly melancholy ♪♫” of the Crested  (Oreoica gutteralis) wchz vri komn nth; dskuvrn lrj
klumpsv Sturt’s Desert Pea!! mgnfs li nflowr; rlso r lrj lu flowr wth ylo n  (ie nth vsntv
Hesso sdn); White-winged Fairy-wren (Malurus leucoptera) & Splendid Fairy-wren (Malurus
splendens) & Variegated Fairy-wren (Malurus assimilis) orl nth  wrwr 4thnt; i good v
st
Pied eater (Certhionyx variegatus) rgan; & m 1 evr Bourke’s Parrot (Neopsephotus
bourkii) – HOORA! (25/11/08. t  hd 4go10! - 12/4/01 ) (12/9/08. thmost ko parrot hzth
Blue Bonnet (Northiella haematogaster) & v rlso Mulga Parrot (Psephotus varius), Australian
neck (Barnardius barnardi), & th u qtus Galah (Eolophus roseicapilla). W   O 5kz N
rlong thservs ak twn thH2O pp & thgO ko il ka  Hesso Siding & thn E 2 thskru
4 O 4kz rlong rstashn akss. Tz nksl  4 .
18/9 /08. Thrwr no ♪ ♫ @ ☼ ths am ½ wa / Lake Torrens & Andamooka
@th krek nth Gibber    (vr Andamooka; ♀/♂v Cinnamon Quail-thrush (Cinclosoma
cinnamomeum rgan)   Roxby Downs (mor pr z; ort Eulactol Heel Balm 4 thpanfull krakt
skn dvlopn nmi - tz sum10 nu:  uzt2b vri greze now aj zdsi10 mi; The Advertiser &
Australian ovr ; wsht & fildwth mor horr H2O th tapp nth Prk; Hthkdz;
wthdror $$$ ATM)   (vr Pimba; Glendambo: chkt oil, tr prshr, & ort p l & got  O
rodz; @ Glendambo dprtd th ld rod N 2 Alice Springs & d W 2wrdz Kingoonya - thsn
nth Kingoonya rod dz: “WARNING ¶ REMOTE AREAS AHEAD ¶ THE FOLLOWING
PRECAUTIONS ARE ADVISED ¶ CARRY ADEQUATE FUEL, WATER, FOOD, CURRENT ROAD
MAPS, TWO SPARE TYRES, TWO JACKS, SHOVELS, FIRST AID KIT, TOOL KIT AND TOW
108
ROPE ¶ DRINK WATER AT REGULAR INTERVALS TO AVOID DEHYDRATION ¶ TRAVEL AT
SPEEDS APPROPRIATE TO ROAD CONDITIONS ¶ AVOID NIGHT DRIVING WHEN WILDLIFE
AND LIVESTOCK MAY BE ACTIVE ¶ IN THE EVENT OF BREAKDOWN – NEVER LEAVE YOUR
VEHICLE ¶ DO NOT CAMP IN WATERWAYS – FLASH FLOODS CAN OCCUR WITHOUT
WARNING ¶ AVOID WET WEATHER DRIVING – ROADS CAN BECOME DANGEROUS AND
IMPASSABLE ¶ KEEP FRIENDS OR RELATIVES INFORMED OF YOUR OUTBACK TRAVEL
ITINERARY ¶ FOR ROAD CONDITION INFORMATION PHONE 1300 361 033”; twl @ lst rwk
4 w r ld rod rgan)   nth skru (1/2 wa / Glendambo & Kingoonya; 2nt  stl
Gombrowicz Ferdydurke wl H hz skord r Woman’s Day nRoxby Downs (he has a “thing”
about me reading chick pap, but it could be worse – at least its not “Stag”, or “Horny” or “Big Rigs”
(21/10/08. l poot mi @ Big Dicks)); so hr quot  ch11: “It’s also possi e, however,
that my  was conceived out of torment from associating with an actual person, for
example, with the distinctly repulsive Mr. XY, or with Mr. Z, whom I hold in utmost
contempt, and NN, who bores and wearies me – oh, the terri e torment of associating
with them! And – it’s possi e – that the motive and goal for  this is solely to show
these gentle my disdain for them, to agit8, irrit8, and enrage them and 2 get them
out of my way. In this case the motive would m 2 cl- cut, personal & ed @th individ
wl. ¶ But perhaps my  came from imit8ing master? ¶ From ina ity 2 cre8 a normal
? ¶ From dreams? ¶ From complexes? ¶ Or perhaps from memories of my childhood? ¶
And perhaps because  began  & so it happened 2 come out ? ¶ From anxiety
disorder? ¶ From obsessive-compulsive disorder? ¶ Perhaps from a u le? ¶ From a
pinch of something? ¶ From a part? ¶ From a particle? ¶ From thin air? ¶ One would also
need 2 esta ish, proclaim, and define whether the  is a novel, a memoir, a parody, a
lampoon, a variation on a tasy, or a study of some kind - & what prevails in it: humour,
irony, or some deeper meaning, sarcasm, persiflage, invective, rubbish, pur nonsense,
pur claptrapism, & more, whether it’s simply a pose, pre10ce, make- ieve, bunkum, arti
iality, pau t of wit, anemia of emotion, @rophy of imagination, subversion of order, &
ruination of the mind.”; goodnt!)
25/9 /08. We are about 2kz out back of the Old Paney ruins @ th of the valley which
must have once constituted the home paddock of the station (  this in a more lite e & r
english for the benefit of the linguisally disad taged & those of my not prepared to expend the
concent ion required for my curr  style). We this track yesterday 4 tea . As it turned in2 the
lea of a hill in a side valley @ the top end we came in2 an area of  air, of a stillness & silence which
was palpa , as if was st&ing still. Perhaps if spirits had ever existed these are the conditions which
might have been required if their secret conversations, mutterings & dismal lamentations were 2
overheard. L8r as we roun the of the slope @ the end of the track over ing a dry creek we
emerged in2 a breeze and the spell was broken. Or th@s howt had med 2 me. On the way back 2
Policeman’s Point where we were parked 4 the night  asked H if she had been aware of the
extraordinary stillness & she confirmed th@ she had. L8ly v n wondering what it is th@ we mean
when we  of invisi  (14/2/09. pom @ 21/8/02 ) & the necessary conditions for discerning
them. If we are 2 in such, meaning itself (how words are formed) requires us to also accept th@
these  are visible 2 @ least some from among us – otherwise how could we know they exist @
all or are even conceiva ? What degree of auditory acuity is necessary for some of us to converse
with the spirits? What faculties are we referring to when we talk in this way about the invisi ? More
realisally, is it possi there are thoughts which can only emerge in conditions of profound silence,
perceptions which need stillness if they are to achieve clarity (reflections in a pool?)? Such musings
have gained a personal signific since my doctor, the good dDaOvIiGd, informed me of my
extemely high blood pressure and the requirement to do something about it. I had never suspected it
& felt in excellent health – but he was a 2 what had till then been completely invisi 2 me. With the
aid of an instrument, his medical ing, the combined recor accumulation of knowledge of the
doctors preceding him, and above all a special kind of in1010ity and @10tion he was a 2 what 
couldnt. In a general way he could look in2 the future – in2 . If he found himself among primitive
tribesmen he could secretly pick out the ones with the very highest blood pressure and PROFESY to
109
the rest of the tribe th@ many would drop  or suffer horri consequences (severe strokes) over the
next 10 years from his nominated group. The surviving natives might worship him as a GOD (or his
emissary) rightly @ buting 2 him special powers and insight. Naturally there is a price 2 paid.
Specialists are a minority. Doctors as a rule dont come cheap though  has10 2 + th@ dDaOvIiGd
treats me 4 fre. Usually however there is a brokerage 4 the services of those who have access 2, or
even just st& @ the gates (& may can in a bit) of the invisi realms. It seems (wishing 2 appear
modest  dont say “is evid ”) to me, given the way we assign meaning - la ing by ANALOGY (&
have you noticed how dist these can especially in dreams?) – th@ when we talk of invisi 
what we are referring 2 is a kind of in10s @10shn, a 4mv concent ion requiring iion &
endeavour, repitition & incantations - a special posture (hunched over ? Kneeling 4 authority?)
which is necessary (or a consequ ?) if success is 2 achieved.  suppose it was inevita then
th@ this is the  where we would end up 2nt. Thrz th + d tj 2da vprotek10 us from thgal4s kn
nz. Nth wa ys d  skru10zd thvri ero  2 makshur twoz pos 4 th . Owr dsizhn woz mad
 thwthr 4krst wch prdkts dr & wnd knnz 4 daz r. Th ak zhrdli evr uzd; no1 wil 2 h;
wr lone nths supr lon …. (rfta   hd thfeln m wl dror th   th thn  doo: th@
  GODz , t   GOD zzlv zu&; 1v thmost famus storez vSufism The Conference of
the Birds  Farid un-Din Attar zrlv h) …. Emu (Dromais novaehollandiae) rgan -
ntd 10 vri smorl chiks; twl r utfl evnn; 2nt  rzum Andrey Platonovz Soul and Other
Stories & H z Archangel  Robert Harris, … si10 nth tal r vth nowt ovr thvale 
 th red vth Gawler jz ….
2/10/08.
Curnow’s Cottage  (n@chrlzd olv )   Bundaleer Forest Picnic
Ground 9kz Sv Georgetown (vriwl mantand t rairli uzd; rusht teth & fild wth H2O  tank;
wind has been a feature of the trip so far & yesterday as we drove here I noticed a flock of sheep whose
wool was a rich tan from the dust being carried around – the sheep in the mustering yard across the road
from the picnic ground are similarly grubby)   Clare ( & pprz; red, muzli, graps; & oppshop)
  (vr Mintaro)   Martindale House (fechrd nth flm Picnic at Hanging Rock)  
(vr Manoora, Saddleworth, Marrabeal)   Kapunda ( - “oldest mining town in Australia”;
maps)   nd (Mount Crawford Forest Reserve wth t g8 O 10kz Sv Angaston) mnor rod 4thn
t ( chasn rwa r ; fownd npaddok 4 owr 2min noodl soops;K8 - ♀  th@ rkordn2
thKURNAI orjnl  (13/12/08. Their decimation at the hands of white settlers is recorded in Wikipedia
thus: “The Aboriginal people of East Gippsland, Victoria, Australia, known as the Gunai/Kurnai people, fought against the European invasion of their land. The
technical superiority of the Europeans' weapons gave the Europeans an absolute advantage. It is extremely difficult to be certain about the real death toll as so few
records still exist or were even made at the time. Diseases introduced from the 1820s by European sealers and whalers also caused a rapid decline in Aboriginal
numbers. The following list was compiled from such things as letters and diaries ¶ 1840 - Nuntin- unknown number killed by Angus McMillan's men; 1840 - Boney
Point - "Angus McMillan and his men took a heavy toll of Aboriginal lives"; 1841 Butchers Creek - 30-35 shot by Angus McMillan's men; 1841 - Maffra - unknown
number shot by Angus McMillan's men; 1842 – Skull ( Monday 22/8/05) Creek - unknown number killed; 1842 - Bruthen Creek - "hundreds killed";
1843 - Warrigal Creek - between 60 and 180 shot by Angus McMillan and his men; 1844 - Maffra - unknown number killed; 1846 - South Gippsland - 14 killed; 1846 -
Snowy River - 8 killed by Captain Dana and the Aboriginal Police; 1846-47 - Central Gippsland - 50 or more shot by armed party hunting for a white woman
supposedly held by Aborigines; no such woman was ever found; 1850 - East Gippsland - 15-20 killed; 1850 - Murrindal - 16 poisoned; 1850 - Brodribb River - 15-20
killed. ¶ There is very little evidence to back up any of these claims. Gippsland squatter Henry Meyrick wrote in a letter home to his relatives in England in 1846: “The
blacks are very quiet here now, poor wretches. No wild beast of the forest was ever hunted down with such unsparing perseverance as they are. Men, women and
children are shot whenever they can be met with … I have protested against it at every station I have been in Gippsland, in the strongest language, but these things are
kept very secret as the penalty would certainly be hanging … For myself, if I caught a black actually killing my sheep, I would shoot him with as little remorse as I
would a wild dog, but no consideration on earth would induce me to ride into a camp and fire on them indiscriminately, as is the custom whenever the smoke is seen.
They [the Aborigines] will very shortly be extinct. It is impossible to say how many have been shot, but I am convinced that not less than 450 have been murdered
altogether.” It’s ironic that Angus McMillan is celebrated in Australian history classes as one of the great
Australian explorers, credited with opening up Gippsland for settlement – a hero from the white
perspective, but from another, a cold-blooded murderer out to get whatever land he could steal. An ABC
program I heard the other day reported that in 1840 the approximate population of Kurnai numbered 2-
3000. 14 years later, when Charles Tyers, Commissioner for Crown Lands for Gippsland, did an official
count, it was 30.) Musk (Biziura lobata) & Australian Pelican (Pelecanus conspicillatus) rth ♀/♂
wch kre8d th).
9/10/08. Sitella (Daphoenositta chrysoptera) st nBirds Australia Gluepot
Reserve (65kz Nv Waikerie nS.A). Th anks hv  lndn 2chuthr; thOZ$ hz 2 70c.US. t wn H
2 th rfta ♀r ☼ p wmad long&s@sfn 6 (l8r H +mtd ♀d pd  m shoo (♀d worn m
CROCS 4 th p)) & soon wr noff 2 mallee just Nv wr thSpinifex (Triodia scariosa) z@ts thikst 2
4 Striated Grasswren (Amytornis striatus) ( Tuesday 7/10/08) – th@s GOOD OL OZZIE OZ 4
yr – th@s how w hav h! …. Lft @ 8.30  @ 1.00. Th d woz2 off ak 4 rfu hrz. W ddnt r1
110
Amytornis & vri litl ls nthwav lf: t  get mor plzhr O off ak wthowt fndn 0 thn fndn
thrair Grasswren nr non   throd v n drktd2  thxprt oz. Ttaks r sertan kndv knfd
2go off ak in cunt u kn get lost in. Dont lose your compass on r da when th☼ is unexpectedly
obscured   - mallee scru , like many desert envionm is snshli chrls. ut in a
place like this reserve which is † x † with a grid of aks every 5-10kz rprt you cant go wrong as long
as you can in a rel@vly s 8 . Nevertheless many  lack the knfd 2doo even th@ which
they know 2 easy & which they dzr (some kretli) unless they are g  r leader
(FÜHRER). Thleaders task is 2show how, 2orthrz, 2ljitmz, 2rlow u 2thro rwa yor mnd.
Philosophers and other public intellectuals can make a contri ution by providing the language of
rationalizations (12/3/07. “ ‘A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when
the need for illusion is deep.’ – Saul Bellow” – Tales from Outer Suburbia  Shaun
Tan.), which is necessary 2 remove the inhibitions which const the would torturers & murderers
among us in normal . The judiciary (always compli 2 dictators – 2da the 1 in Fiji ruled th@ their
military coup was legal (10/4/09. ys d 2 itit krdt thr rpelz kort t & woz promtli replast 
thprzdnt)) also plays an essential role in the task of legitimization. The governt can do its it y
awarding medals and the press by conferring hero status on the perpetr8ors. By these steps we
reach the  where normal people delibe ly civilian (restaur , crow , market places,
busy  ) children, ♀♀ & old ♂♂ to achieve political or military objectives as long as its 4 a worthy
objective (spshli vs EVIL) or if there are no other means availa . m referring 2 thcarpet n of ger
  in the last y of the 2nd  war & 2 the  of th2 A on Japan, but also of course 2 the s
@rgov sui nz vth MUSLIM ‘EXTREMISTS’ (1/1/09 (@ Sydney). &th prz z li r☼tn HAMAS
(13/1/09 (@ Forster, NSW). & how grotsk wn sh kmunt ledrz hoo  th@w rmmbr 2morn thv th
v UROPR 70 yrgo ignor thdspozsshn vth PALRS10ENS & justf thr  2da (24/1/09 (South
coast, NSW). thrzst nth GAZA GHETTO puts mi nv WARSAW wair th n apt  wth mprov
d wpnz 4t ♂rokli & hoplsli rgnst r rdli modrn rmi wch  thair (2/2/09 (Melbourne). 2da  ort
The Himmler Brothers – A German Family History  Katrin Himmler (11/3/09. lrst wek
 d The House of Wittgenstein – A Family at War  Alexander Waugh 4nevn mor
poiny kot nth topk))))). These were my  as we plo through miles of Triodia scariosa
without even r hint of r single Amytornis striatus t z woz setln 2 thz ♪♪ nth wchz vri
fl koz wr h  owrslvz r Malleefowl (yes!   uth) (Leipoa ocellata) sauntered out no more
than 15 yards  wr wr si10 & poked O nth ushz (owr  wr ) r♀/♂ntli nknsrnd or ma tddnt ♪s
us!! () …. nr 4   Brown Treecreeper (Climacteris picumnus) wch gavme prakts @
dstngwshnt  thWhite-browed Treecreeper (Climacteris affinis) wv n n; rlso rfamliov O 20
Chestnut-crowned Babbler (Pomatostomus ruficeps) nstedv thuzhul White-browed Babbler
(Pomatostomus superciliosus) wv n n vrwr. N dntli, ths plas z Gluepot koz thdert h
zfamoosli stki wn wt & kuvrz vrthn ndust nth dr. Wr stil @th Sitella st 4thnt.
16/4 /09 ( lir09ri p♪♫). €5.88 (supermero: mele royal gala 0.17; pane
speciale 3.98; salame napoli 1.73) + €12 ( yt (x 2): Palatino + Foro + Colosseo) + €5 (gelati (x
2)) + €10.65 (supermero: pane 1.64; succo verde 2.00; chino (x 2) 0.98; crudo di montagna
2.73; formaggio (fior di monte) 3.32) = €33.53. Shared the breakfast bar with a Dutch couple. He was
attending a conference about transport in which someone from the Port of Melbourne Authority was also a
participant. Set off via the supermarket near Santa Maria Maggiore where we bought our lunch items &
then bought my ticket to the Palatino-Foro-Colosseo. John’s ticket was “gratuito” because he is a senior
(65+) “cittadino della Unione Europa”. The Palatine Hill , one of the seven hills of Rome, overlooks the
Circus Maximus, the Forum & the Colosseum (19/7/09. “Many affluent Romans of the Republican period (510 BC – c.
44 BC) had their residences there. During the Empire (27 BC – 476 AD) several emperors resided there; in fact, the ruins of the
palaces of Augustus (63 BC – 14), Tiberius (42 BC – 37) and Domitian (51 – 96) can still be seen.” (Wikipedia)). The word
Palatinus gave rise to the English words palace and palatial & the accomodation there must have been
jaw-droppingly oppulent. According to Statius, the Roman poet, Augustus’ palace was so huge “immense with
not just a hundred columns but enough to hold up the heavens and all the almighty gods … Your gaze soars upwards and almost tires
in search of the ceilings, to the point where you would think that it is the gilded vault of heaven itself.” It’s hard to imagine the
brick shells that remain must have been faced with marble and adorned with sumptuous sculptures and
paintings, and that myriads of slaves and servants must have scurried about all day attending to the
whims of the rich and famous. However the Colosseum was smaller inside than I’d imagined & the
spectators must have been able to see the bloodshed quite clearly from their tiered seats, where they ate,
111
drank, gambled & graffitied in the breaks between events. A display on the upper concourse contained
chicken & pork bones, peach kernels, grape pips, bone hairpins, bits of pottery & other relics of the
spectators’ attendance. It took us most of the day to walk over the 3 sites. On the way back we re-visited
San Giovanni in Laterano & the Baptistery attached, and passed by a church/chapel dedicated to the scala
Christ walked up & down at the residence of Pontius Pilatus, which Helen, the mother of Emperor
Constantine, brought back from the Holy Land – she was a big gatherer of relics (& is now the patron saint
of architects).(20/8/09. Wikipedia: “Constantine appointed his mother Helen as Augusta, and gave her unlimited access to the
imperial treasury in order to locate the relics of Judeo-Christian tradition. In 325, Helena was in charge of such a journey to
Jerusalem”.) The Scala are 28 marble steps encased in wood, & the faithful proceed up them on their knees
to reach the “Holy of Holies” where many treasured relics are housed. There were plenty of the faithful
there. Checked out the Basilica di San Clemente, where the signora at the ticket office informed us there
were no concessions, just “the same price for everybody” which is fair, as we are all sinners, young & old,
EU citizens & those of us from the antipodes, & deserve to be ripped off by Mother Church as a
punishment for our base nature. So we gave it a miss as €5 each would have dented our daily budget a
bit. Walked back through an area dominated by Indian shops selling ethnic jewellery in huge quantities –
every shop seemed to have the same stock & there were at least a dozen of them. How they manage to
make a living is a mystery. On the outward bound journey we passed through a Chinese section dominated
by clothing & accessory shops, ditto. There seem to be fewer gypsies about, & not as many Africans selling
handbags – perhaps we are not in the preferred area. Tomorrow we’ll probably use up some of our bus
tickets to check out Trastavere & the area round Piazza Navona. The weather was fine again & quite warm
until our walk back when it began to spit rain & chill down. Funny moments today: at the colosseum a
young Praetorian guard with sneakers was texting with one hand & holding his sword with the other; a
middle-aged centurion who really looked the part (short, swarthy, with a Julius Caesar style haircut) spoilt
the illusion by calling out “Hey! Come and get a pitcher taken” to the passing throng; a guard in full
uniform camping it up to attract passersby; as we left a centurion knocking off was stripping down to his
jocks in a quiet corner & stowing his tunic, helmet & sandals in a kit-bag prior to taking the bus or train
home. The traffic & the parking are as wild as I remember it – even the traffic lights on smaller streets are
ignored - & the streets are as dirty. (20/7/09. Bill Bryson in “Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe”
1991 says: “… Italian drivers pay no attention to anything happening on the road ahead of them. They are too busy tooting their
horns, gesturing wildly, preventing other vehicles from cutting into their lane, making love, smacking the children in the back seat and
eating a sandwich the size of a baseball bat, often all at once. So the first time they are likely to notice you is in the rear-view mirror
as something lying in the road behind them. …. I love the way the Italians park. You turn any street corner in Rome and it looks as if
you’ve just missed a parking competition for blind people. Cars are pointed in every direction, half on the pavements and half off,
facing in, facing sideways, blocking garages and side streets and phone boxes, fitted into spaces so tight that the only possible way out
would be through the sun roof.”) But it is still CAPUT MUNDI as far as I’m concerned. n rmung thez g doo
runz u nt hlp rflk10 nowr kpast4 slf mport . So wn  th@ domitian woz d  r SCIAVO
hoo d ♂m nth i z♂ slept wth r ♂ smugldn ♂dn nth &rjz onn rm ♂ pr10 2hv njerd  rekrn
d rkndrd sprit.  must fndowt thSCIAVOz nam   & rdopt ♂m zm pa n , or @lst wer r
tshert wth ♂z nam ont (22/9/09. Stephanus woz th1 - h wot hapnd rkordn2 Suetonius, De
Vita Caesarum, "Life of Domitian", 17: “Then pretending to betray a conspiracy and for
that reason being given an audience, [Stephanus] stabbed the emperor in the groin as
he was reading a paper which the assassin handed him, and stood in a state of
amazement. As the wounded prince attempted to resist, he was slain with seven wounds
by Clodianus, a subaltern, Maximus, a freedman of Parthenius, Satur, decurion of the
chamberlains, and a gladiator from the imperial school.”). t l8r n nth FORO  dskuvrd
th@twoz domitian hoo woz rspons 4 havn thATHENAEUM lt. “In this area, where the Church
of Santa Maria Antiqua was later erected, Domitian built a great hall, which we can
identify as the Athenaeum, the school of rhetoric, whose name refers to Athena/Minerva,
the goddess of intellectual activities. Close by was an immense vaulted hall, probably a
library. The walls in fact consisted of superimposed niches reached by galleries or
walkways, like the great libraries of the imperial period. Vespasian was the first emperor
to establish a state library for the teachers of rhetoric and it is therefore very likely that
Domitian created a suitable building, with libraries, for higher education. Domitian also
built a ramp linking the structure to the Domus Tiberiana, which faced on to this area of
the Forum. The young heirs to the Imperial throne resided and were educated in the
Domus Tiberiana and the ramp would have been needed to link the two buildings.”
23/4 /09. €150 (B&B (x3 ntnt) @ Via Giordano Bruno 1  n th corso
nTARQUINIA) + €1.20 (due biglietti TARQUINIA (centro storico) per stazione) + €16 (primi piatti
@ Brasserie La Loggia nPISA CENTRALE stazione: tortellini al prosciutto 6.00; strozzopreti
spek e funghi 6.00; tavola rossa (1/4 = 250 mlml) 4.00) + €11.24 (supermero: vino rosso (1l
) 0.65 (thsz thchepst VINO  hvvr t & twoz OK); pomodoro ciliegia (piccolo) 1.59; banane
112
(x2) 0.58; pere 0.90; soprassata 0.37; prosciutto 0.44; pane 1.05; formaggio peccorino (
chez) 2.26; formaggio fontina 1.60; succo 1.80) = Totale = €178.44. Left the Al Corso B&B with
much goodwill from the owner, Alessandro, who called us “beautiful tourists” not least because John had
declared no need of a receipt for our €150.00 cash payment. As we stepped out of the front door we
bumped into Brian Moggs whom we had met yesterday at his art exhibition, and gave him the book I had
finished reading, “Alex and Me” by Irene Pepperberg, about the famous African Grey parrot she had proved
could be taught to speak & count, as he had indicated an interest in birds during our initial conversation.
Caught the bus to the stazione, where we forgot to validate the ticket, after also illegally crossing the
tracks between binario 1 & 2 just like the Italians do (when in Rome …). John went back to platform 1
where we could see a machine, but it didn’t work, so he asked a young woman & her mother waiting for
the Pisa train where to find another machine. They spoke no English, so the daughter took him back to
platform 1 to the functioning machine (which only left 2 barely discernable circles, like Braille, on the top
of the ticket) – an example of the kindness we have often experienced from Italians. On the train John
struck up a conversation with a trio (older man, younger man, young woman) in the carriage. The young
man was an ardent left-winger, living in Mexico but visiting Pisa. He told John that the internet is not
available on mobile phones in Italy as a response to the terrorist threat & was critical of the government
which doesn’t tolerate much criticism – he gave an example of a TV commentator who said he thought the
new houses in L’Aquila should have mortuaries in their basements if they are built as shoddily as the
previous ones destroyed by the terramoto, & he was pulled off-air for 2 months. The young man reckoned
the Americans are the biggest terrorists in the world. John said he’d email him his writing at
matercanotta@hotmail.com . Arrived on the dot in Pisa (Trenitalia continues to provide an excellent,
punctual service – Connex should take lessons) and began the task of finding accomodation, but first had a
relatively cheap, tasty meal in a brasserie near the station – 2 different pastas, entrée sized, & 250ml of
tavolo rosso. It’s the first restaurant meal we’ve had in Italia. The Information Office was seriously
misnamed. The rather curt, middle-aged bottle blonde at the desk was really only a map-provider – she
didn’t give out accomodation info, just a telephone nmber to another organization called Area Pisana,
located outside the Wall at the opposite end of town, to get to which we had to take a bus if we wanted to
speak to someone face-to-face! She was quite off-putting, so much so that John left his back-pack behind
when we left & had to run back for it. He told her she’d frightened him so much it had been wiped from his
memory. It was another example of Italian disorganization (the accomodation service at the opposite end
of the city to the station) and jobs for the boys (in this case someone’s wife or mistress, which reminded us
of Napoli). So we rang the number she gave us & an English-speaking girl said she’d ring 2 economico
hotels to get prices & availability & to ring her back in 15 minutes. We wandered about a bit in the station
precinct & came across the mother/daughter pair from this morning’s validation exercise, who hailed us to
say hello. John asked if they knew any economico accomodation & the older signora actually took us
around to 3 different hotels, located close together, explaining in rapid Italian what prices we could expect
in each, with & without bagno. The cheapest place was the one we decided on after inspecting the room. It
is the Hotel Torre, a 2-star establishment with about 100 rooms on the Via Mascagni, close to a big bus
depot, and to the Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II, from which the Corso Italia (main shopping strip) takes you
across the Ponte di Mezzo over the Arno, becomes the Borgo Stretto which becomes the Via Oberdan & Via
G. Carducci, off which to the left you proceed along the Via Car. Pietro Maffi into the green grassed Piazza
of the Duomo, the leaning Torre, the Battistero & the Camposanto Monumentale. That was the route we
took after dinner (from the fairly close supermercato) for an evening stroll. Pisa looks a beautiful city,
mainly Renaissance style buildings & the Duomo & attendant buildings are glorious. That’s our destination
tomorrow. The room we have is large & airy with a double bed & a single bed, a handbasin, a big cupboard
and a heater which keeps the room at a pleasant temperature. Double doors open onto a small balcony
and a shutter can be pulled down at night to lessen the noise from the via below. There is a large, clean,
well-appointed bathroom (bidet included) almost opposite the room and all for €40/night – the 2 nd
cheapest accomodation we’ve had in our 2 trips to Italy so far (the convent in Sulmona (see Tuesday
8/5/07) was €39). I got another “ciao bella” today – this time from an African boy selling watches!
30/4 /09. €5.92 (mero n Piazza del Carmine nLUCCA: soprassata, yoghurt, vino
rosso, pane, 2thpast) + €200 (B&B (x4 ntnt) @ La Torre. Pad wth HH VISA menmen  o
♀r €20) + €25.02 (supermero nBARGA: suplsupl 4 dada x2 ztz  2moro – pu k Oida (May
Day)) = €230.92.  rlso kep nr ntv how much wspnd/wek: mon 13/4 - ☼d 19/4 = €611.28; mon
20/4 - ☼d 26/4 = €434.98. Last night we had a farewell coffee (my shout) standing at the bar in a pizzeria
& walked around some streets we hadn’t seen before – came across the Bagni Communali, a large
building, which is the swimming pool I suppose. John woke up in the wee small hours (before the
supermarket deliveries started) thinking that today is May 1, a public holiday, & worrying that the bus to
Barga may not run, or run late, or early – another disrupted night for him. We said arriverderci to the folks
at La Torre & slowly strolled to Piazzale G. Verdi for the Barga bus, passing the fossi (canals) which were
used by the women for laudry in the good old days. The bus trip up to Fornaci di Barga (Barga is about 3ks
further up the mountain by a connecting bus) is reminiscent of the steep bits of the Amalfi coast & the
bus driver uses his horn prior to corners & skims through the narrow streets of tiny towns with expert
judgement. (38/7/09. I’m amazed that people coming out their front doors don’t regularly get felled by the
bus zooming past 3cm. away – do they have the timetable in their heads & so avoid fatalities? Do they
113
have back doors they use instead?) We have a gorgeous room – huge enough (about 10m x 7m) to dwarf
the double-bed, 2 single-beds, 3-seater leather sofa, large bamboo dining table (could seat 8 comfortably),
large chest/seat, open fire-place, double wardrobe, & large floor to ceiling bookshelf. It has 4 large
windows, 2 on each side, overlooking the upper & lower town. The view across the lower town towards the
part of Barga outside the Wall (where there is a good supermercato) encompasses the roofs of the town &
a multitude of houses & villages dotted on the flanks of the mountains, one of which in the distance is still
snow-covered on the summit. The village of Sommacolonia perches on top of a high hill just in our line of
vision – it was a Roman outpost, commanding views of 2 valleys, and in recent history a German fort, part
of the Gothic Line. Barga was bombed during WWII, including the original house not far away of artist
Bruno Cordati (28/7/09. see www.barganews.com/cordati/biography_english.html for details) (whose grandson is
now our host) and who was the original owner of this beautiful 17 th century house – a palazzo I think (an
old advertisement for an art show by Cordati is pinned on the noticeboard near the fireplace & says it is
being held at Palazzo Bertacchi-Cordati) which has a date of 1628 engraved over one of the doorways.
(28/7/09. see www.casacordati.it/index_e.html). It is now a gallery, a private set of rooms, and 3 different guest
areas: our room (with roomy, modern en-suite, including bidet), a self-contained appartment, and another
bedroom. Just outside our door is a huge space with enormous ceiling beams, sparsely decorated with 2
hammocks & some old wicker chairs, which you cross to get to the stairs – one set going down to the
private suite where Cordati’s daughter lives (our host’s mother) & the art gallery & then down to the
entrance area (used as an office/shop (art cards), the other set going up to a huge room under the roof
(the Altana) with a brick floor where all the walls have been muralled by Cordati when he was in his 80s.
His paintings decorate the walls – sombre, mostly browns & greys, but haunting & strong. He was a
contemporary of Giovanni Pascoli, the Italian poet and classical scholar who died in 1912. The bookshelves
are full of old books on movie posters, cinema studies, novels in Italian & English, old Mad Magazines,
mugs with coloured pencils, & childhood storybooks. There are many Marxist works – Lenin’s Opera, 2
volumes of Trotsky, “Storia della Rivoluzione Russa”, Angela Davis’ “Autobiografia di uni Rivoluzionaria”,
Roberto Giammanco’s “Black Power”, “Autobiografia di Malcolm X”. Works on cinema & jazz are very
prominent too. It was our host’s room when he visited his grandparents in his boyhood from Pisa where he
lived for 43 years before coming here (to look after his mother, Cordati’s daughter, who is an elderly lady).
We are on the 2nd floor & overlook buildings which have 6-7 storeys on the side of the street sloping
steeply from the entry-level at the front. John & I have never been in a house so grand nor in a room so
spacious & elegant – everything is tastefully old & understated & radiates an aura of artistic refinement.
Tonight should be a quiet night – we wont miss the 5am delivery to the supermarket at Lucca’s La Torre
B&B – & we feel like we are in a fairytale. I think all of the rooms in our place in Miller St. could be
squeezed into this one. The surrounding peaks are quite high by the way: Pania Secca, 1711m; Pania della
Croce, 1859m; Monte Sumbra 1764m; Monte Alto Isella, 1723m; Monte Tambura, 1890m & the Appenines
are not far away to the East. John has taken heaps of photos of the views across the roofs of the town, & I
took one of him outside the office of the Communist Party, just across the narrow street from Casa Cordati.
He took 2 of me next to a little red 3-wheeleer utility covered in Ferrari logos, which I’ll send to Dean.
There are Brits & Scots all over the place here – a Scottish woman who’s been here for 30 years runs the
gelateria/bar just around the corner where we will breakfast tomorrow (none provided at the Casa), an
Anglo called John Bellamy has a gallery not far away, & we met another Scottish couple in the street who
own an apartment here for a holiday base, who live in Cornwell.  dskuvrd ys d (H  mi) th@
Gemma, th 2nd most fa  thds kt rf Zita (pa n vLUCCA), rlso hd th STIGMATA (
Wednesday 22/4/09). H sujstd twoz r hs kl smtm. Lk thwerd sKOsom@ thwerd hs kl
zdznd 2 shunt thpro m owtv hrmhrm wa 2 rsdn. Rf  wok lrst nt   ovr thwerd & tz
mplkshnmplkshn. Dozth STIGMATA fit kum4t i rmung thuthr fnor nth dzgn8d klrs? Wot kr ir
doo w uz2 groop thez ev 2gthr? Ths v ?nn  s 8 2 th x mli n s10 pro m vwr wdror
th twn th sKOsom@ & th fzkl. Tz n krnowt 4sum hvi t flosvn  hd n10
2doo 2nt. t m ovrkum  th ut vm nn h@ BARGA. Th sno t ,
thPALAZZO wr stann – mor l thn ni  v set n 4.   l hv rshowr & uz 1vth
shampoopoo nth rthroom. Th PRO EMATIZING ( Foucault) vth term ‘sKOsom@’ kn wat4 r
i da.
7/5/09. €5 (capuccino & rioche (x2)) + €9.78 ( minimero: prvzhnprvzhn 4 th &
4  wnw th ) + €3.60 ( biglietti (x2) manarola per corniglia) = €18.38. Breakfasted on capuccino
scuro (him), capuccino normale (me) & 2 cornetti to start the day, shopped up for tea & then set off from
Corniglia on sentiero (track) no. 7a (steep, shady, through overgrown terraces) to sentiero 6d (along the
contour line through a working vineyard) to the little village of Volastra where there is a charming church
(the info board says: “NOSTRA SIGNORA DELLA SALUTE ¶ La leggenda: Il tinmore dell incursioni saracene
indusse gli abitanti di Volastra a seppellire beni preziosi e le campane dell chiesa. Di esse si perse ogni
traccia: solo nelle notti di tempesta si racconto per tanto tempo che si poteva udire il suono di quelle
campane. ¶ La storia: La chiesa e anteriore a quella di Manarola. Il primo doucmento che attesta la sua
esistenza e datato 1240. Una cappella a Volastra e poi indicata nell’elenco delle decime della Diocesi di
Luni nel 1276, annessa alla Pieve di Marinasco (La Spezia). Con questa dizione compare in analoghi
114
elenchi di fine secolo. Era intitolata a S. Lorenzo. Nella secondo meta del Quattrocento l’edificio appare
collegato alla chiesa di S. Mari di Manarola. Alla fine del XVI secolo assunse il nome di Nostra Signora della
Salute, mentre la chiesa di Manarola fu dedicata a S. Lorenzo. ¶ La devozione: Il culto dell Madonna gia nel
XVI secolo era ben vivo a Manarola, come e attestato in due ravvicinate visite pastorali del 1584 e del
1597. Successivamente, con il mutare dell titolatura della chiesa, fu Volastra il centro del culto mariano. La
Vergine fu solennemente incoronata nel 1861. ¶ Il nome: La tradizione fa risalire il nome Volastra al latino
vicus oleaster, cioe “villaggio degli ulivi”, individuandolo come stazione di posta per il cambio delle
cavalcature lungo la presunta via romana che percorreva la costa. Tuttavia non esistono documenti che
avvalorino quest ipotesi”), to sentiero 6 for a short stretch & then onto a broad gently descending
horse/mountain bike track (we passed a horse pulling an open (empty) carriage going toward Volastra)
from which sentiero 02 descended steeply through pines & ruined terraces to Manarola. It was a great
walk & we managed not to intersect with many other walkers. They are often from the Netherlands &
Germany & are dressed to conquer Everest, with heavy packs, huge boots, alpenstocks & determined
looks. John & I look hopelessly underdressed (t-shirt, shorts & cap for him; skirt & shirt for me & a fancy
shady hat that I could wear to a garden party (2/8/09. I caught sight of myself in a shop window later in
the Cinque Terre trip & reminded myself of Camilla Parker-Bowles, so I ditched it in favour of something
less grand)) & our Crocs are just not de rigeur. Nevertheless we do alright, & John could outwalk them all,
the young ones included, even on his worst day. Manarola is probably not much bigger than Corniglia but
has a ‘port’ & ferry stop, so draws more tourists – it was packed when we arrived & the ferry disgorged
more during our stay, including a big group of hopelessly overdressed Japanese (gloves, corduroy pants,
winter jackets). We tend to cross paths with other tourists at points like these, where the ‘funnelling’
process occurs (compare Venice (see Friday 1/6/07)). We exchanged pleasantries with a gay couple from
the Gold Coast who were hurrying to get tickets for the Via dell’Amore, the 10 minute stretch of coastal
walk between Manarola & Riomaggiore, which costs a scalper’s price of €5/person. Ozzie accents were
audible all over Manarola – we are replacing our American allies, who seem a bit scarce, probably due to
the financial crash in the States. The Italian tourists seem less interested in hiking cross-country. I have a
theory that they only like physical activity (excluding amore) if it involves lycra. Since lycra is too hot for
long distance walking then walking long distances isnt popular. Here there is also probably a local memory
of long, hard slogs up into the vineyards to tend the grapes, & the steep descents balancing heavy baskets
on heads & shoulders in the hot sun. Who’d do that for fun? On the way down to Manarola we passed an
old lady (in her 70s?) dressed in woollen stockings, skirt, cardigan & apron, balancing a plastic crate on her
head on a folded headcloth as she walked up the hill. She commented ‘calde!’ (hot) as we drew parallel
with her. In my eagerness to compliment her on her fortitude, I replied “Fortissimo!” which I realized too
late means “Very Loud!” when I should have said “Forza!” for strong. My efforts to use Italian invariably
end in confusion & my embarrassment (see Friday 20/4/07). Later in the town we saw black & white
photos of people working in the terraces, with the women holding baskets of picked grapes on just such
headcloths. The photos were taken in the 50s & 60s I reckon, judging by the sneakers & thongs being
worn. The steep hills in the background were completely covered with terraced vines, bare of any trees.
The forest & woodland of today must have grown since the Parco was declared in 1999. A poem by Pascoli
(see Thursday 30/4/09) was included in the photographic display : “… in my soul I have a great / ideal seed that
awaits but the dew of the Cinque Terre / to bud and bear fruit. / Be thus beneficial to this latent wealth. / You can send the dew by train
to Borgo a Mozzana for Barga. / I await … open-mouthed.” We’ve noticed that the villages & small cities like these in
the Cinque Terre & Barga, are being populated by non-Italians: Scots & Brits are getting footholds, but
there are others too – the pizza bakery here in Corniglia is owned by an Argentinian. Older Italians are
becoming isolated in these hill towns & some rely on immigrant carers to look after them. There is an old
lady here with Alzheimers I think, who is walked around by a young woman of South American or
Romanian origin. Severgnini “La Bella Figura” 2006 comments: “A full-time carer earns six hundred euros a month.
An Italian would cost five times as much, including taxes and Social Security contributions…. ¶ Its like that all over Italy. In the bars
first thing in the morning you see couples made up of an old person and a companion – the former Italian, the latter from abroad. ¶
Two and a half million immigrants with residence permits live in Italy, with an unknown number of illegal ones…. There are Africans
who have crossed the sea, South Americans who have crossed the world, and Asians who have abandoned their overcrowded cities.
They should have entered Italy legally, but it didn’t turn out that way. The influx has been chaotic, often tragic, and there have been
five immigration amnesties in less than twenty years. Still, these people are here now. And we don’t really know what to do.”
Manarola’s main street by the way is very picturesque, as it is lined with wooden fishing boats in every
nook & cranny, between the shops, bars & restaurants.
14/5 /09. €2.50 (  lrst nt) + €4.20 (due capuccini, onyn focaccia, rioche 4 
am) + €3.34 (2 vonyn focaccia 4 pm) + €5.52 (supermero pr : fragole, banane,
pomodori) + €4.00 ( ino biglietti (x2) genova Piazza Manin per  casella) + €4.00 (gelati x2) +
€4.00 ( ino biglietti (x2) casella per  genova P. Manin) + €3.00 (4r vri tni v pizzetta) +
€0.66 (focaccia snaksnak) + €2.50 ( 4 1owr – thn H fownd ruzd d wth nuthr owr ont) = €33.72.
We took the 2-carriage Ferrovia Genova Casello trenino from the stazione near Piazza Manin which runs on
a narrow guage track to Casella Paese 25ks away & 312 metres higher up for a little under an hour into
the high hills behind Genoa. There are hundreds of settlements (paese) dotted up the slopes, interspersed
with a dense growth of bright green scrub where cultivation is not possible without terracing due to the
steepness & poor soils. The remnants of the old walls with their forts/castles sit on top of the ridges.

115
Casella is a sizeable comfortable place & we walked around it until it was time to catch the train back. We
walked back to our lodgings through a part of town new to us which was busy with people shopping &
promenading – the streets radiating out from Piazza Colombo - & by accident found the Mercato Orientale,
a smaller version of the Vic. Market, where ordinary Genovese were shopping. In the morning we
investigated 2 interesting churches: S. Maria Assunta di Cargnano & the Sacra Cuore. There was a mass
being celebrated in S. Maria – for 3 people! While we waited for the trenino to depart we explored some of
the streets around the stazione & found an art nouveau replica of a 15th century castello complete with a
double-storey tower, iron doors, iron rings in the walls for tethering horses, & a beautiful open space in
front full of bits of marble plaques, pots & other objets d’art. The map said it was Castello Mackenzie (!)
but the sign on the large iron gate said ‘Cambi – Casa d’Aste’. A very slender pretty young man with a tiny
miniature schnauzer the size of a chihuahua on a lead said it was an art gallery. (9/8/09. Terry Kirk “The
Architecture of Modern Italy. Volume 2” 2005: “An impressionable and wealthy Scotsman, Evan Mackenzie, hired [Gino]
Coppede in 1897 to restructure and furnish a simple villa outside Genoa. The hillside offered a picturesque perch for a rambling house
of blocks, wings, loggias, towers, turrets, ramparts, crenellations, grottoes and drawbridges all built over the next decade, the whole
surrounded by a fortified wall. Coppede vigorously combined fragments of every description, archaeological and counterfeit, in this
treasure chest. … Here there is no historical transcription, no medieval idiom, but a fantastical castle. The castle is at once ridiculously
miniature and grotesquely gigantic. Its fifty or so rooms were furnished with the Coppede firm’s widest historical revisitations. The
Castello MacKenzie is paradigmatic of bourgeois excess, comparable to Ludwig II’s Neuschwanstein … it is an enchanted city, a
Disneyland ready for costume pageants. … [Coppede] confessed of his manner of working, ‘I get a little carried away.’” & from the
net : “The Castle was inhabited by the Mackenzie's for twenty seven years: after Evan's death in 1935, his daughter Isa sold it four
years later to a property developer. During the second world war it was at first occupied by the German army and later by the allied
forces, whereas it became the headquarters of the Italian Carabinieri in the fifties. In 1956 it was declared a National Monument in
recognition to what is only today known as the Coppedè style. Vacated by the armed forces, it hosted many a business in the sixties
and seventies, including a gymnasium whose tenancy was responsible for the state of general abandon, interference with the original
structure and theft of the furnishings. In 1986 it was purchased by the American tycoon Mitchell Wolfson Jr. with the purpose of
hosting his collection of early twentieth century works of art and objects, and to offer a museum to the city; after completing the
restoration of the exteriors in 1995, works were suspended. In 2002 the building was bought by Cambi Auctioneers. ….. Set out on
four floors over cellars and dungeons, the castle boasts eighty-five rooms, an area of 4000 square metres and a volume of some 16000
cubic metres.”). The bar owner where we have breakfast now recognizes us & hands over 2 plates for us to
collect the self-serve focaccia/brioche we choose, while he makes our coffee. He is on first name terms
with many of his customers & knows their preferences. He operates the place on his own & is fast &
efficient & the place is often full. He seems to think we are French as he greets us with “bon jour”.
Yesterday & today our main meal has been of pizzette & focaccia – we are eating a la Genova & its very
tasty as well as being a change from bread, cheese & soppressa. N dtaln th ♂♂ vth werd GOD th
Shor Ox4d dkshnri gnz wth “to whom we make sacrifice” – sns ech1vus must  0 zmor
vys thnth@ wr su jk2 4ss g thn owrslvowrslv. &yt thrr such FOOLFOOL rmung us hoo  wr
MASTERMASTER vth univrs. Porz 4r mot 2 knsdr this progrshn: Pascal  “if triangles
believed in God they would believe He was 3 sided”; v sjstd th@ f d d d nGOD tha
wood  ♂ woz r j d ( 11/8/05 ); William Blake(lk owr K8 – r prntmakr)s epfrni woz th@
GOD woz 4md nth mj v. R motmot reflkshn znf 2rerl th@th 4th step nth prgrshn znkon
v . Tz y    DONT NO. So how pth tz wn sum rmungus  GOD zr numbr, orr ▲, orr 4 R,
orr KOMPU PROG -   thoo  ARE ALREADY IN HELL.
21/5 /09 ( 09ri p♪♫). €171 (affita camera (x3) ntnt) – pad  HH VISA ie. H
oo mi €300 ( 17/5/09) - €171 = €159 - €6  o  ys d wn ♀ pad  ♀r prv@  wnth joi r
nt hd no chanj = €153 ♀ oo mi) + €37 ( biglietti (x2) stresa  LOCARNO) + €4.60 (capucci &
rioche (x2) 4 am) + €1.20 (acciughi salatini (x4)) + €134 (SF 201) ((67 x2) 4 2 ntnt pad
n+v , no re t) + SF 23.70 (€15.80 kond rkordn2 th t €1 = SF1.50 gon  th chanj th ch
nee propr vTai Fu Quai Ristorante gav mi wn  pad4 thcamera ie SF x 2/3 = €1 or € x 3/2 =
SF) 4r kafé  n n stashn - koz supermeri r chiuso 2 fragiole festivale) + €3.50 (ie
350x2/3 = €2.30) (4r 0.5l otl vRivella - th nashnl drnk) + SF8.70 (ie 870x2/3 = €5.80) ( l@e
4 H @ SF 3.20 & limoncello 4 mi @ SF5.50) = €371.70. The ferry trip from Stresa to Locarno
(11.15am – 2.30pm) was impressive – high mountains, countless villages, some large towns (Cannobio
looked very pretty), snowy peaks, waterfalls & the placid water of the Lago. John negotiated a double room
at Tai Fu Quai Cinese Ristorante (5 rooms, 10 beds), Via Borghese 32, 6600 Locarno Tel. 0917518418
(Proprietor Leung Wai Man), taifuquai@bluemail.ch, in the Centro Storico. Locarno was having its
Ascension Day festival, so the Piazza Grande was full of stalls selling bric-a-brac, clothes, food & assorted
junk, there was a local display of talent (bands, dancing troupes, girls in bikinis) & the atmosphere was
hectic & loud. We discovered that the supermarket was closed so had to eat out at considerable expense.
We got some cash from the bankomat so we could pay for stuff in Swiss Francs (the Euro is accepted but
you get change in SF, & the rate of exchange varies with the shopkeeper). We are both tired from the
changeover, especially John who’s had to wrestle with the numbers. Luckily our room seems quiet & is
perfectly comfortable - handbasin in the corner & toilet right next door (but no bidet – now we know we
116
are not in Italia, even though Locarno is in the Italian speaking canton of Ticino). Locarno is ‘faster’ than
Stresa where the mood was sedate & quiet, as the tourists were generally over 50. There are many more
young people here (under 40s) & it appears to be very expensive – we may have to forgo our capuch &
brioche breakfast for supermercato yoghurt, bananas & fruit juice. John had his first Rivella (he was an
afficionado when it was available in Melbourne in the 60s & 70s) & reckons it had gone downhill into
lemonade-land.
28/5 /09. Lrst nt  got2 n O howtwd fw ddnthv WORDWORD: 4 rt thrd no li
chr & no po (& how dsr 10 th@ wood 4 LfOrVaEnCkE hoo wood lft wth 0 2O xpt flosrfe &
thr wood niov th@ nthr!) & vkorkor no nor l ree (& no jo 4 F k (25/9/09. g10 O thcunt
doon rfu giggig l8li wthth rvvd Primitive Calculators (26/9/09. umpt 2 DRUaMlMeOcND
2da hoo  ♂♂ d m & thair good & promst 2 e mi r ler onm))); & wwood hv snn & tknolg
(no , no ) nor mthm@ (r kndv langwj); & howO muzak Shopenhauer (2th d v 
i jer kompoorr & rlso spshli 2 Nietzsche) 2 evn mor ♠ik thn langwj – wdhv2 makdoo sans
OPERA & sans SIMFONIA orni uthr komplx muzak reqrn muzakl ♪♫ashn (orlso rkndv langwj); &
rlijn woodhv2 dun sans HYMNHYMN & sans PRAYER (dr& hoo10 mt rlowd t); & w kood
 kon aktkon akt, mak promss or  L (porpor 4r momo rflkshn h - on how L
 dvd us & konsidr evn mor wottz wdoo wnw l 2 owrslvowrslv; thrthr r skoolv th@th
perprperpr (nuthr hevit WERD) vlangwj z2 dvd (à la a n rwa nth TOWR v a ) nth rov k
kodkod orv jrgon; rlso tz werth rskn nwot snn f@orl z ‘2 r L’ nan2nm v ‘2 th UTH’ ( UTH -
hevit rgn!))!; & wo O GOD – wood ♀/♂ stl ♀/♂slf wthowt thWORD? kood GOD servv suchn
mper10 ?…H t mi r v r♠♠ 4mi da prz  rstorl nth Marketgasse 4 SF16.00  ♀r
on  …SF4.55 (€3.03) (Rivella (nashnl drnkv ) & Almdudler ( n drnk) (1½ l l x2) +
SF3.20 (€2.13) ( 10 10 (x2)) + SF7.95 (€5.30) (k 4 th chrjr evn tho thnth shop
hd chrjdt 4 0) + SF12.00 (€8) (Olma Bratwurst mit Büli (x2)) = €18.46. We were both able to get
some much needed sleep last night, though I think we are still in debit. John had a good day – he got his
camera battery re-charged gratis at a computer store (but I convinced him to buy a lead for his charger
anyway as it takes time to find a place where it can be done for free, especially if no English is spoken); I
bought his birthday present (a pair of lairy braces printed with varieties of mushrooms); he found the Old
Town interesting, especially the 3 churches we inspected; he got 2 excellent postcards to start & finish the
St. Gallen journal entries; he discovered a fellow-enthusiast of Robert Walser (24/9/09.  got ♂♂ The
Tanners nth rfu dada rgo  www.amazon.com), one of his favourite writers, in the charming tourist
info lady we talked to yesterday (Judith Weder: e-mail judith_weder@hotmail.com) (who is also into
singing), who gave him a map of the Robert Walser Rundweg centred on the village of Herisau, quite close
to St. Gallen, where we will go on Saturday; & he ate a veal sausage, the famous St. Gallen Bratwurst,
which was very tasty. I am pleased for him as he’s been having a rough time lately. We saw some beautiful
things today: the World Heritage Site Monastery District (Roman Catholic) (UNESCO 1983); the Evangelist
Reformed City Church of St. Laurenzen (Protestant); another Evangelical church outside the Old Town; &
the streetscapes of the Gallusplatz, the Schmeidgasse, the Spisergasse & the Marketgasse, where
buildings are characterized by timber gabling & lavishly decorated oriels (bay windows) dating back to
around 1700. (13/9/09. There are 2 good stories connected with the city. 1. “St Gallus [was an] Irish missionary
who preached in the area of Lake Constance. One version of the St Gallus legend tells how he gave bread to a hungry bear, which in
gratitude helped him build the log cabin which later developed into one of the greatest Swiss monasteries. Another version has it that
he first commanded the bear to help him, and only afterwards gave it the bread as a reward - and on condition it never returned. Be
that as it may, the oldest depiction of bread known in Switzerland is an ivory carving of this scene, dating from the 9th or 10th
century. Gallus has left his name in the canton and city of St Gallen in eastern Switzerland, but the bear has not been forgotten either:
it lives on in the flags of the commune of St Gallen and of the two Appenzell half cantons, which were once monastery lands.” 2. “St
Wiborada was born to a wealthy noble family in Swabia. After the death of their parents, Wiborada joined her brother Hatto in
becoming a Benedictine at the Abbey of St. Gall. There, she occupied herself by making Hatto's clothes and helping to bind many of
the books in the monastery library. Wiborada became settled at the monastery, and Hatto taught her Latin so that she could chant the
Divine Office. When they invited the sick and poor into their home, Wiborada proved a capable nurse. A pilgrimage to Rome
influenced Hatto to decide to become a monk at St. Gall Abbey, a decision which Wiborada supported. At this time, it appears that
Wiborada was charged with some type of serious infraction or wrongdoing, and was subjected to the medieval practice of ordeal by
fire to prove her innocence. Although she was exonerated, the embarrassment probably influenced her next decision: withdrawing
from the world and becoming an ascetic. When she petitioned to become an anchoress, Bishop Salomon of Constance asked her to
accompany him to the Monastery of St. Gallen. He arranged for her to stay in a cell next to the church of St. Georgen near the
monastery, where she remained for four years before relocating to a cell adjoining the church of St. Magnus. She became renowned
for her austerity, and was said to have a gift of prophecy…The end of Wiborada's life was violent and dramatic. In 925, she predicted
a Hungarian invasion of her region. Her warning allowed the priests and religious of St. Gall and St. Magnus to hide the books and
wine and escape into caves in nearby hills. The Abbot Engilbert urged Wiborada to escape to safety, but she insisted that it was her
duty to remain and pray for the inhabitants of the city. When the Magyar marauders reached St. Gall, they burned down St. Magnus
and broke into the roof of Wiborada's cell. Upon finding her kneeling in prayer, they clove her skull with a hatchet and left her to die.
117
Wiborada's refusal to leave her cell and the part she played in saving the lives of the priests and religious of her convent have merited
her the title of martyr. Saint Wiborada was the first woman formally canonized by the Vatican, by Pope Clement II in 1047. Her feast
day is 2 May. In Switzerland, Wiborada is considered the patron saint of libraries and librarians. In art, she is commonly represented
holding a book to signify the library she saved, and an ax, which signifies the manner of her martyrdom.” – www.wikipedia.com).
We have enjoyed the statuary around the city – the fountains are elegant & often reflect homely things like
2 children with a dog, an owl, a young man with a calf, a bowl of flowers. The saints’ statues are plainly
carved & graceful. There are very few expressions of heroic pretension a la Vienna, & many decorations
display a touch of humour – one oriel we saw was adorned with figures of pot-bellied men with man-boobs
& slightly embarassed faces. In keeping with our “pay only when you cant resist” policy we passed on
what was the famous Monastery library, supposedly one of the oldest & most beautiful libraries in the
world, housing about 150,000 volumes, including 400 for the period prior to 1000AD. To see it, you have to
pay SF15 each, so compared with the Medici Library(designed by Michelangelo (see Wednesday 30/5/07))
& the Piccolomini Library (painted by Pinturicchio (see Saturday 19/5/07)) & the Vienna State Library
(books on display included rare medieval bestiaries & the books given to celebrate the marriage of Franz-
Joseph to Elizabeth (see Saturday 23/6/07)) it wasn’t a good deal. John’s highlight artistically was a
painting of Christ as a Swiss Alpine shepherd with a lamb across his shoulders & a distinctly Jewish face,
on a wall in the precinct of an Evangelical church outside the Old Town, which was beautifully decorated in
an austere style with wonderful carvings on the doors & pulpit.
4/6/09. SF450 (€300) ( & (x5 ntnt) @th Hotel Loewen nHerisau pad m
VISA r nt:  woz on H €66 so now ♀ oo me €234) + … (St. Gallen)  r (Bregenz) 
(Lindau) … + SF  € … + €4.29 (tafelwein, eistee, un (x3)) + €0.50 (lostt nth toilt dorslot koz
 poo10 morthn 1koin) + €4.69 (lrj wt  & (♀rn) noil (favrt wth n ) & onyn & )+
€8.80 ( (x2) – rost i, pt8o salat & vji salat e10 nth Maximilianstrasse) = €318.28. Neither of
us slept well & woke before the alarm went off at 6.30am.... The trains run so silently here that you don’t
realize they have left the station unless you are looking out of the window at the time. Like the Italian
trains there are toilets on board too. We arrived in Lindau at 9am & found accomodation straight away via
the Tourist Office which have been uniformally excellent in Switzerland & now Germany. Our guesthouse is
Gasthof Inselgraben. M. & A. Barz, 88131 Lindau/Bodensee. Inselgraben. Telefon: (08382) 5481 / 23437. Telefax: (08382) 944149.
E-Mail: inselgraben@t-online.de www.inselgraben.de Moderne Fremdenzimmer mit Dusche/WC, Telefon und TV where our
double room costs €65 (WC & shower in the corridor, washbasin in the room) & the floor & roof slope
seriously & the double-bed is made horizontal by a block under the legs on one side. This is an old town
(some buildings date from 1400 & many from the 1700s) so not everything is on the square. The ceiling is
also quite low (Joe Zizys & Joe Blansjaar would have trouble) & the stairwell does a dog-leg. John has just
pointed out that we always choose B&Bs/hotels where, if there was a fire on the ground floor, we’d be
toast (or have broken bones from jumping out 1st or 2nd floor windows) – that’s why they’re the cheap
rooms I guess. Its very atmospheric though & very clean (bright whitewash compared to the Loewen’s
dingy brown walls). Since I did a big rap for Italia (20 things I love about Italy – see Monday 25/5) here’s a
list for N.E. Switzerland (centred on Appenzellerland) (24/9/09. “This Switzerland is a cemetery of
sensations” rKOrdn2 Clarice Lispector): 1. Wander wegs – what a terrific web of paths for keen
walkers & even not so keen ones like me, well sign-posted, of various levels of steepness, & surrounded by
postcard scenery; 2. cleanliness: apart from some cigarette butts & the rare plastic drink bottle
(shockingly noticeable by its rarity, & such an affont to the eye that you immediately have to pick it up &
put it in a bin), this area of Switzerland is kept spotless – yesterday we saw some people running barefoot
on the footpath in Waldstatt, & a man in a mini street-sweeper doing the verges in an area between 2
farm-houses where the only rubbish lying about was some grass cuttings; 3. understated, elegant & on a
domestic scale, the public art such as churches, cemeteries, statues is beautiful; 4. bells on cows & goats
provide a constant music audible over long distances, even close to towns; 5. covered bridges with
intricate wooden beams & floorboards; 6. info centres full of good maps & brochures, with well-trained,
obliging staff; 7. wild flowers & sizeable swathes of deep green forest (firs, pines); 8. police – hardly
noticed any & the ones we did see were interacting with the public in a friendly, non-threatening manner;
9. painted house fronts & oriel windows; 10. folk art; 11. Rivella. However, one big minus – its expensive,
even for the Swiss as the ones we met told us. Here in Germany in Old Lindau it is also very pretty, being
on a small island in Lake Constance (the Bodensee) connected by bridges to the mainland & we’ve noticed
that prices are similar to those in Melbourne. We’re able to eat out at the same price we paid in
supermarkets in Italy & Switzerland, & the food is delicious & generous in proportions. It’s nice to have a
change from bread, cheese & salami & to have the option of more salads & vegetables. Lrst nt  hd
rdrm n  woz overkum  sdns:  drmt  woz wor n thgrdn wn th OKerd 2mi th@th skool
(or akrdmk) y woz wl wa &  hd mst tht vt &twoz 2l8 now.  hd n so n10n10 wth m own
preOKupashnn  hd lost KOntaktwth thrstv . R dero n prst rkstmi w  woz owtthr wth thrst
vm &   d 4go10 koz  woz wor n thgrdn.  flt zf  shood doon sum10 vuu t  kood
get mslf motv8d koz 0 md zuusfl z wor n pl . Th dero  & 1drdO dskretli nth bakgO 2
kon☼ mi. Thsoro km tangld wth m  & wth thlakv rekshn xprenst  sumv m ☼☼.
118
 11/6 /09 (jeri09ri p♪♫). €78.40 ( & (x2) @ Magdalena Hobel (12t  nglsh!)
Frauensteinweg 42C, 87629 Füssen) + €48.20 ( & (4 2nt) @ Gabriel Haus,
Bahnhofstrasse 8½; rezp. Bäckerei Weese.  00498362300136) + ….€1 ( v soksok
(25/9/09. m wairn m now z edt thee ♪♫) 4 mi so H oo mi €87 - €1 = €86 (… v rerlzd v n
doonths orl rong t  nt othrd & fxn m r n10)) - €7 ( ys d 4 m wn
 nkrktli +t 2owr joi kostkost (… dto)) + €6 (Paulaner Hefe - Weiß & ak t wth le 4 H @
laksd osk) + €22.20 (pm @r pu nold ) = €154. At breakfast we discovered our hostess has a
pair of rats as pets – they live in a little house in the corner of the breakfast room, sleeping in a dinky
hammock rigged above their play area (John had said after meeting Frau Hobel that she looked a bit like a
witch – perhaps these are her familiars). It was raining, cold & windy as we left to find a new room for the
night because Frau Hobel was pre-booked for tonight & Friday. It felt like a Melbourne winter day (except it
was raining). We trudged up to the Info centre to find that it didn’t open till 10am, so hung around & finally
got a place quite close to the station which is run by a nice young man who speaks excellent English (&
French & Latin – he took languages in school to avoid maths) & whose brother lives in Sydney. The room is
excellent with an en-suite & a little kitchen with electric plate, fridge & electric kettle disguised as a
wardrobe. Its €22.50 /person /night + the town tax of €1.60 (not mentioned at the info centre but we knew
from Oberstdorf that it could happen). He suggested a nice walk for tomorrow towards the Alatsee & told
us that the best way to Mittenwald (recommended by an English couple we met on a walk in Austria in
2007) was by bus, so we went to the autobarnhof where a nice man helped us to work out the really
complicated timetable. The weather will determine when we move & where. The bus-stop man also told us
it was a religious holiday today & sure enough all the shops were closed except the more expensive
eateries in the Old Town. We spent some time investigating the Museum der Stadt Füssen, the former
Benedictine monastery of St. Mang (St. Magnus) where the circular library is particularly beautiful (search
using Klosterbibliothek St. Mang on www.flickr.com ) & the Prince’s Hall has rich stucco & fresco
decorations. There is the Anna Chapel (Annakapelle) (21/8/09. “a chapel devoted to commemorating victims of the
bubonic plague, in which 20 macabre skeleton-decked panels depict everyone from the Pope and Emperor to the smallest child
engaged in the Totentanz (dance of death)”) dating to the 9th century where the tombs of numerous knights &
abbots are set into the walls. The Totentanz was completed in 1602 by Jacob Hiebeler, making it the oldest
Danse Macabre in Bavaria, & the inscription above it says: "Sagt Ja Sagt Nein, Getanzt Muess Sein"
["Whether you say yes or no, you must dance"]”). Included in the Museum ticket was access to the medieval castle
complex of the Hohes Schloss, one of Germany’s major late Gothic complexes with a lovely courtyard
overlooked by facades painted with illusionist paintings (trompe-l’oeil) & from its tower you look over the
steeply pitched roofs of the Old Town for a 360° panorama of mountains, the river Lech & the Forggensee.
It was raining & shining by turns but by 3pm it cleared & we walked down the Via Claudia Augusta (or
Augusburgerstrasse), the straight Roman road to the Forggensee & the Bootshaven & back along the lake
into the Old Town for an excellent dinner of schweinhaxe & apfel strudel. I have picked up a cold – my nose
is running like a tap. Hopefully it wont last long or turn into anything more debilitating as if the weather
improves we’ve decided to stay on & do the flatter walks along the Lech round the Alatsee & in the area
close to the Austrian border.
18/6 /09 ( r09ri p♪♫). €44 ( & (€8 dfr ( Monday 5/6/09) 2 nthvn
2pa r n fe) 4 2nt @ Matha nInnsbruck) + €3.40 (tt Innsbruck  Igls) + €18.40 (k
Patscher Kofel Bahn 2 Bergstation) + $10.50 (H pad 2 uu thtoilt @ Bocheben Alm (O
2000m/asl)) + €14.00 (knödel suppe (x2) & weiß & Alma Dudler @ Bocheben Alm) + €5.70
(knödel suppe & johannis @ Sistranser Alm (1615m)) + €11.10 (pm @ Heiligwasser Alm
(1240m): omlet & salat & t & weiß ) + €3.40 (tt Igls  Innsbruck) + €7.10 (weiß 
& hot chokl8 @ Hofgar10 Café-Rs ) = $107.60. A big walking day on the Southern face of the
mountains. Took the J bus to Igls & the Patscherkofelbahn cable car up to the Bergstation, 1952m/asl under
the top of Patscherkofel (2250m). Walked the Zirbenweg to Tulfeinalm (2035m) which was closed, so
walked back to Boscheben Alm for knödel soup & drinks (hiking time according to the brochure 5 hours).
Began our descent to Sistranser Alm (1615m) by a steep winding path through meadow & forest & then a
broad road because we must have missed a signpost. Another drink & more soup for John, & onwards
towards Heiligwasser Alm (1240m) where we missed another sign & ended up going upwards again to
Lanser Alm (1718m., closed) & onto a higher trail from which we had to descend again to Heiligwasser Alm
for dinner. Another descent along the road to Igls brought us back to the bus-stop to catch the 8.32pm bus
back to Innsbruck where we finished the night off with drinks at the Hofgarten, an outdoor café in the large
park of the same name, just near our lodgings. We are both buggered – me from the walk, & John from
cogitating while walking about “how to articulate the issues & solution (19/6/09. dont kwal @ m usv
thwrd: nm ☼ushn☼ushn  hvno n10shn v n GOD nth  - lst   2 r sindr!) in the so-called
problem of God’s tolerance of evil & misery in the world”. He also took lots of photos – the scenery was
really outstanding: alpine flowers (gentians, a red miniature rhododendron bush in big stands, lupins,
daisies, buttercups), pine, fir & larch trees, patches of snow, a beautiful stream, & the city, villages &
chequerboard fields of the Inn Valley flanked by the North facing range we had explored a bit yesterday. It
119
was perfect weather & not too crowded – we only saw 2 or 3 cyclists, & didn’t cross paths with too many
other walkers. The Alms are always busy though – as we were descending to Igls people were walking up
to Heiligwasser Alm for dinner, to watch the sunset.
25/6 /09. €8.20 (tt Bad Ischl  Hallstatt) + €5.90 ( & t  n Hallstätter
See) + €20.20 ( mdrvo nCafe Derbl nHallstatt: 1 knoblauchkremsuppe, 1 knödelgeheim, 1
beerentorte, 2 macchiati) + €8.20 (tt Hallstatt  Bad Ischl) + €2.19 (2thpast 
Schlecker stor nBad Ischl) + €2.18 ( &  t  sprmrkt) = €46.87. Explored Hallstatt & liked it
enough to book for 2 nights with a view to doing some walks. By late afternoon it had stopped raining &
the sun came out. Hurray! This evening we went to another free concert (pianist, cellist, violinist & oboist)
which was very enjoyable – the violinist & cellist were exceptional. It was nice to walk to & from the venue
(the Trinkhalle where the info centre is) without umbrellas. At Hallstatt a kid of about 16 or 17 who seemed
high as a kite (shouting, running about, pushing, shoving) deliberately jumped in a puddle to douse us
with water. He picked the wrong mark – John collared him & told him off well & truly. A Japanese woman
who had seen what happened said “Bad boy!”. We ate a great meal & didn’t need to eat when we got
back to Bad Ischl. There was a white swan with 3 eggs on a nest right next to the main road through the
village, which is squeezed between the rock face of high mountains & the lake. The water was overflowing
into gardens, cellars & walkways, but now the rain has stopped the level should fall.
2/7/09. €3.20 (shutl tt Gmunden zentrum  Gmunden barnhof) + €25 (
tt Gmunden  (vr Attnang-Puchheim & Linz)  Enns) + €7.60 ( (x2) & un un (x3) 4
am @ Gmunden barnhof) + €60 ( 4 2ntnt!! (fthsths rt tz owr rkord pr) 4 zimmer
nswet @ Famile Berndl, Stiegengasse 3,  07223/82278 oder 85633) + €3 (g pg p, ,
softdrnk  sprmrkt) + €7.40 ( & l t & krmm (x2) nHauptplatz) + €2 ( 4 15mnn) +
€27.20 (slo pm & drnkk @ Gasthaus Stadt Linz nth Hauptplatz nEnns zentrum) = €135.40.
“Enns gives you a great sense of magic. The magic of Enns is saved by the city wall – that’s how it seems. And this maybe is the
cause why the magic is still there. ¶ Not for nothing Enns is the only town in Austria which got the ‘Citta Slow’ award. [Citta Slow
rete internazionale della citta del buon vivere]. Enns took this award for a clear sign, to be self-conscious about a new life
– and town philosophy, directly to the true values and back to real enjoyment …. But not turbulence, bustle or unrest are having space
here. The motto is, kindness and happiness.” & “Enns is the Siena of Austria. Both are medieval cities. Both exhilarate the entity of
being saved behind city walls. Gracefulness the word which fits best.” (from the Tourist Info publication: “Time for Life.
Time for Enns”). We arrived without mishap (3 changes of trains including the shuttle to the Gmunden
bahnhof) with some kindly help from a fellow traveller who was on his way to Linz to collect his small plane
from the repair shop, to find that the woman in the info office spoke excellent English (she even got the
joke when John said we didn’t need a bathroom in our accomodation because we don’t wash) & organized
our place to stay (around the corner from the main square of the old town) in 10 minutes flat, with a
woman who also speaks English & whose magnificent house is 500 years old! The walls are hugely thick &
the wooden uppers on the stairs to the first floor are worn down in the middle by the passage of many feet
over many years. There are numerous rooms with an inner courtyard. So we have come from the height of
19th century elegance (Hotel Austria am See) to the romance of a 16th century burgher’s home. The tourist
hype is not too inaccurate – the old town has some impressive buildings with incredibly thick walls hiding
spacious inner courtyards & the central square is centred on a 60m tower built 1564-68 & bordered with
elegant facades & outdoor eateries. Unfortunately it is also a carpark. We walked around both in & out of
the old town & found it quiet with some old town shops adopting the Italian practice of closing between
1pm & 3pm. It is nothing like Siena of course & the walls are nowhere near as visibly intact & impressive
as Lucca’s. It is no doubt a comfortable place to live & a pleasant place to visit. There are not many
tourists except the cyclists who pass through on their way along the Enns River & the Donau. It certainly
doesn’t live up to the hype which comes from being included in the towns on the “Romantic Road”
(25/9/09. MAUTHAUSEN (lager) st & mmoril zn !!) & a member of the “Small Towns of
Austria”. We are paying €30 for the double room (actually a bedroom, a small sitting room with settee &
lounge chairs & coffee table, & an ensuite!) which is our record low price , & probably reflects the true
extent of the tourist trade here.
9/7/09 ( p3).  wlnot rsk mmum 2 r nt 4 thdskrep twn th r nt v
n gvn (&n ♀r ) vth wrOO vm frthr nth krl lrst 6 munthmunth v1941. Mmum z89, hzhd mnr s
oks ok, & nr nt vsumknd wood prv. t wot uu woodt serv? v nvr hd thwerd
Hammelburg orevn r wspr rO npriznt  th . On ntl ntl OKzhnOKzhn v  (& nthee
) r krlrful stori vhow m frthr dzertd th rmi kompletli dfr 2th evn mor krlrful r nt gvn
nth 8 volv Lietuvos Kariuomenės Karininkai 1918-1953 pu sht  thNational Muzeum n2008.
th

Nthnd, no m@r howi dfr storee m d tt th SL SL 2 v d most r10tvli &
hv  thlowdst. DEAFENING SILENCE (mrskt  ntl ntl ) hz n m man legr & th st
♂♂ tchr  koodvhd. Rf m t shakn  1td 2 put r sm olik l onth OKzhn wth r @r rs
nth ∟ vGaono gv. & Žydu gv. n ntm8li rso 8d wth thto nm  snn th1st  vztd
120
( 22/7/04 & Sunday 4/6/06 ( Og no. 73)) t th prpr wr2.   thwa thahd kum
2 mrkt (“mandri”) 4mi & ♂  ♂ kood r4d 2 thr ethr. L8r thrwoz rhuj storm. Tz 10am, 2 
n 4nuthr map …. n  r shop  kood rmm r  4 stokt rlotv rejnl mapmap  ♪d thnu
SNRGOG woz o so  wnt 4r . Twoz n d rf  Rūta Kudarauskas (i dvowt yung
♀♀ n v ♪d). W  4 kwt rwl.  prmst2 e  ♀r rkopiov Monday l8r nth da or 2moro @
suksukrateli@gmail.com.  gav ♀r mn so ♀d no no2 dlett. Orlso promst 2e Thursday wn th e
n wth 2dada n zowt. d lft m  @hom so ♀ gavmi nxl 1 ♀ hd so  wood hv2 2
ftcht. Thshop nth stashn znow r MacdonaldMacdonald so now m off  Gedimino Prospektas 2
chkowt sum uthr shopshop. @th SNRGOG tha hv s GARMULKAGARMULKA 4 vztorvztor – twoz
thonli v worn1! Thrr drk  O …. v ♪st  hv prov nnglsh verzhn vth r nt nth n
opdr: “@th t vth / wor ♂   Pabradės & l& th nSiesikai wr ♂ woz takn 
th vr Kedainiai & Raseiniai & t zportd  East Prussia & l8 2 mpriznt
nth priznr vwor @ Hammelburg. @thndv 1941 ♂ woz rort  2Kaunas (wr  woz
 19/8/41) & rlest.” m vth mpreshn mmum hd prov ♀r verzhn @thr rekwst & thfoto orlso z
 owr  l m. Thr dszhn 2 ignor ♀r verzhnv ev ma kum zr serp (25/9/09. & zkorzn ds
s). Good stori, huh! m @ In Astra & rf faln 2fnd thmap  1td t spndn sum nth
MAXIMA sprmrkt wth th st stokt dli dprtt vevr n.  hdr sngl CEPELINA & r nth sam
komplx. Erlir d r sup nr kafé. 4 th@  snt ne  H hoo pro i hz knktd th yt. Orlso e
d Monday  Rūta K. Tz 5.05pm – Rimas Jonaitis z nmi nth ∟ (Jono Basanavičiaus g./Pylimo g.)
stairr owtsd @ 6pm. Mn  kn Lietuvos Rytas  t @th sprmrkt.
16/7 /09. Wok &drius (♂♂ rslep now @ 3.30pm rf rl8  rf owr 
RIMEISIAI  ŠIRVINTOS) & wwnt  th l ri fre  2mak m kshn 4 th nshur d
 woz a 2doo koz hv m prsport wth mi & morovr  dd hv2  ni l z hd chkt wth
Aistė 4 prmshn 2 uu ♀r +rs zm  +drs.  hv2 2th l ofs vth VILNIUS on d 4/8/09 twn
3&4pm 2 t npersn.  sspkt  1t qolf t tt werth r . Tmnn  hv2 nVILNIUS nth 3rd
sutsut mi fn z hvpromst 2metwth Rasa Kabailaite, Rimas & Birute Jonaitis, & Aistė zorgnzn r
me10 wth Juozas Ž & ma evn ♂♂ ruthr hoo mt vz10  MINSK nth 6th 4  lev nth 7th 4
VIENNA. (just  Aistė 2 ♀r l nVILNIUS  th 3rd @th l8st & 2rsk ♀r 4 prmshn 2slep @ ♀r
plas. ♀ gett  l8 nth 5th so th z mt. ♀l lev th wthr na r wn ♀ nth 26th -  hv2  2f
ndowt na r). Thn w hd rnuthr dlshz am vpot8o pankakkak @th VALGYKLA,  good  2
Juozas & Eleonora Gruodis & .  woz nsum dskm4t s 8 rwa &  th20+ kk mt mi sp
i rf w took rrong Y + 12kk x 2th . Th kort wthrr 4 thlrst 6kk t m drnowt
now. m   thsam nthgrdn wr  woz   3yrgo ( Friday 23/6/06). Z 
&drius zrslep nth  - et ♂l slep til  wak ♂m. Antanas (Tony) Grybas ( ) zwerkn onth nu 
Vaidas z ldn. Vaidas &  r@r me10 wth Vytukas Landsbergis (26/9/09. ☼ vth muzaKOlrjst) & hopfli
wl   pm . v just promst Antanas th@ 2moro l vzt 2 hullo 2Milda (♂♂/♀) &  orlso
mst vzt Audrius Smulskis (wr  d k BERŽO SULA & s or ri wn on th@ f8fl da (23/6/06) 3 y
rgo. Th hzt & tt g10 r . Th nst onth chmni zn uu – 2 yung (Ciconia ciconia) r xrs
n thr wngwng. ThBIRDBIRD (Passer domesticus) r !
23/7 /09. Kn10un wthth t shn vm ♪♫ nth p (27/7/09): rda v DRRMR. 
td nsle t wthr dlshdlsh am vVOVERAITĖS (chantarell) su (wth) BULVĖM (spudspud) (&  
thr woz nthr 2). †n thlak (ŪPARTAS) woz eei t zsoonz w n d thŠVENTOJI (rvr) ttd 2 stedli
& thn 2PISS. Td 4O ½ thda & PISST 4O 1½ owrr vth@ . t threl pro m woz thloglog 2 10
nchch thik d † thrvr & t owr progrs. Whd2 & rstl wth loglog 4 . Audrius KIRTO KAIP
PASIUTES ( d lk r pozst).  orlraid nu ♂m 2 nn1010 ndvl t 2w10s thkons d powr
st
wth ♂ wl th wozr rvlashn & sumwot fr10n. Wthowt ♂m w wood hv got thru th1 3 m i
tm it. Th4th majr o shn woz kum manli 2 Tadas hoohd kort 2rr  thn (♂
woz nr wth ♂♂ ♀ & 4 (!!) v♂♂ kidkid) & woz a 2kut thru thlrjst log wth ♂♂ sor. rn thO th
PISST. Tadas zv orlred  zth GLAMR ♂ vth prt & woz ☼t&, e & prakli NAKED zuzhul.
Niwa th t. Th 8kk vth rvr (ŠVENTOJI) 6shn took 5 owrowr. @th TILTIŠKĖS (“energetikos
121
muziejus”) w dsm rkt, drdof,  th 2 d thH2O, d k s ong spirtt, 8 rnuthr dlshrr  pr
d  th♀♀ (sp i Zita), hdr , Zita puldowt r4mi, rerjd thgnth & thfnl pla
d skshn vth rvr 2 thANTALIEPTĖS MARĖS (rdam konss10 vO 30laklak & 160kk vshor . W †t
th5k s ch vth dam nr s 8 n1owr 2 owr n.   Brigita on Stasio  2 ♀r me & &drius
wood on s@rd z frd woz 2 r rst da (d uu thlrstv m  & esofrgus plpl wnzd nt koz d
 d onthrzd). Stasys & Arvydas  vairys rlrtvv 2kum & join us O th 4 thnt ( zmorl enuf). R
yung kompoor (♂♂ ♀ zr vrlnst) rort r otlv PELYNO TRAUKTINĖ (♀r lKOhol – mor Oths
n2moroo n ). Twoz rfn nt, th (Audrius hd  r ()) rord, dskushn wz shrp
(eKOnomk CRISIS,  (wthth kompozr); ☼vn th pro mm!?). Th zprtv r33,000 hktair rejnl prk
(GRAŽUTĖS REGIONINIS PARKAS).
30/7 /09. ŠIRVINTOS   VILNIUS (O50kk). v kum  nmpovrsht rurl   1v
thmost prvljd su er n : VALAKUPIAI. Nt fr rwa zth gr  vTURNIŠKIS wr nyr guvt o ll r
d. Aistėė (& Mečys)  z mt wl ♀♀ Oidan n & Mečys z KORŽHENEVSKAYA n . Th
na rr (ryung ♀ @  wth kidkid & r rtrd ♀ stairstair) hv wnd &  mi evn tho d orlraid 
onthrod -  kood rfuu th ptlt.  woz a 2chk thstairstair ♀♀ : ne  H showd owr kmuni
n pr mm hv n sortdowt; hv t thsam tm zlrst wek 4 2moroo gam vs ; Buckley wl
KOch nxt y t tt o l yt (24/9/09. not tl 2011). m glad th zovr – mi BUM woz 10
2kom rgn. Tt 9.15 -  ned rgood ntt slep.
6/8/09. Th g nuu @th Kabailrr zovkorkor th@ Rasrr studd nSTUTTGART rnth s
ri: protst koz R dont +mit ♀♀ prestt. Tmenn thr r3 rl@vv studn rljn: Rasa, Annabel (Mildrr dor
) & owr Joe. Ma tha shood get2gthr 2 kom ♪♫.   Rasa d prs ♀r e  Joe ….  woz
rlon hlrst n: @ am  met r♀ hoo  nglsh tt  .  rkst ♀r wot OO ♀r  &♀♀
dd no t sumthn drorr ♀r - ♀♀ n 4 th25th ! Ma tt thkostv lvn. 2da ♀♀ 2 NIDA 4 rfu dada
t zretann ♀r room @ In Astra @thsam (@ 150lt/nt?). N d li nVILNIUS thlokll tl m not 
: th♀ on t woz vre sprd 2dskuvr  woz  t lir …. (10.20pm) nr mood 4 . Rf 
am rowzd n shopp. t thru r ttld Sounds of Silence: Traces of Jewish Life in Lithuania
pu . R. Paknio Leidykla © 2009 (www.paknioleidykla.lt) ISBN 978-9955-7366-27-1.  Vaidas
2 chk how th roof woz progrsn – 1 sd hz n kmpletli kl+. Orlso rskt ♂m 2chk fth monut 2
VLADAS ŽVIRBLIS zstl nplaa - ♂  tt stl thr (24/9/09.  ♂m ys d hnOZ - ♂ hd chkt & tt dfntli
wr tt orlwaa n.  mstv n dadrewn  prst). Chkt th - snt K88 pom (ttld Poem for
Papa ( Wednesday 5/8/09 ( Og no. 69)))  H. Lietuvos Rytas nr r nGedimino
Prospektas. Took th oli (vri good pu lk t sport nVILNIUS & @ thfl@ r8v 2.50lt/ p tt chep) 
Aistėė plaa wr Juozas & Jane ŽIŽYS & dor Eglė hd rvd  KAUNAS 4r ŽIŽYS g2gthr - 
dowt zv n doon evrida nVILNIUS. Twoz zkonvvil rg2gthr zth KABAILA 1 ys d t n nuf.
Aistė hz n xpshnli hlpfl n♀r f wa & t 4♀r m p & th pp wr th vmsta n
wood hv takn plaa. 2moro nt l nVIENNA.

122
123