Basic Counselling Skills

1. Attending Behaviour 2. Closed and Open-Ended Questions 3. Paraphrase 4. Summary 5. Reflection

1) Attending Behaviour v Orienting oneself physically and psychological v Encourages the other person to talk v Lets the client know youre listening v Conveys empathy

What Does Attending Behaviour Look Like?

a) SHOVLER (Or SOLER the underlined):

v v v v v v v v

S: Face the other Squarely H: Head nods O: Adopt an Open Posture V: Verbal Following E: Speech L: Lean toward the other E: Make Eye Contact R: Be Relatively Relaxed

b) Listening:

Listening is the most important skill in counselling. It is the process of hearing the other person. Three aspects of listening; i) Linguistic: actual words, phrases and metaphors used to convey feelings. ii) Paralinguistic: not words themselves but timing, accent, volume, pitch, etc.

iii) Non-verbal: body language or facial expression, use of gestures, body position and movement, proximity or touch in relation to the counsellor All these express the internal state of the counselee and can be listened to by the attentive counsellor.

2) Four types of Counselling Interventions

i)

Open-Ended Questions

Questions that clients cannot easily answer with Yes,, No, or one- or two-word responses Tell me about your family while you were growing up Why is that important to you? How did you feel when that happened? What did you do when she said that? What are your reasons for saying that?

Purposes of Open-Ended Questions:

To begin an interview To encourage client elaboration To elicit specific examples To motivate clients to communicate

ii)

Closed-Ended Questions

Questions that the other can easily answer with a Yes, No, or one- or two-word responses Are you going to have the test done? Did you drink before you got into the car? Do you drink often? Do you exercise? Do you like your job?

Purposes of Closed-Ended Questions:

To obtain specific information To identify parameters of a problem or issue To narrow the topic of discussion To interrupt an over-talkative client

Closed vs. Open-Ended Question

Examples C: Are you scared? O: How do you feel? C: Are you concerned about what you will do if the test results are positive? O: What do you think you might do if the test results are positive? C: Is your relationship with your husband a good one? O: Tell me about your relationship with your husband.

iii)

Reflection:

Reflection is the echoing back of the last few words that the client has spoken. It is widely used in Rogerian counselling. e.g.: Counselee: We moved to Bangalore from gulf at the beginning of last year but none of us really settled down. My wife never did like living in such a large city. I found it difficult to get a job. Counsellor: You found it difficult to get a job Counselee: Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I suppose I didnt really try hard enough Counsellor: You didnt really try hard enough (more later-below)

iv)

Challenging:

Though challenging and confronting are not associated with counselling, there are times they are appropriate and even necessary. Counselee: There is no one in this organization that I can talk to at all Counsellor: No one? Counselee: I have always been a failure, never been any good at anything. Counsellor: Always?

3) Paraphrasing

The counsellor rephrases the content of the clients message

Example: Client: I know it doesnt help my depression to sit around or stay in bed all day. Counsellor: It sounds like you know you should avoid staying in bed or sitting around all day to help your depression.

Purposes of Paraphrasing
To convey that you are understanding him/her Help the client by simplifying, focusing and crystallizing what they said May encourage the client to elaborate Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions

When to use it
When you have an hypothesis about whats going on with the client When the client is in a decision making conflict When the client has presented a lot of material and you feel confused

Steps in Paraphrasing
Client, a 40-year-old woman: How can I tell my husband I want a divorce? Hell think Im crazy. I guess Im just afraid to tell him. Steps a) Recall the message and restate it to yourself covertly b) c) d) Identify the content part of the message Wants divorce, but hasnt told husband because he will think shes crazy Select an appropriate beginning: E.g., It sounds like, You think, I hear you saying,

e) Translate the key content into your own words: Want a divorce= break off, split; E.g., It sounds like you havent found a way to tell your husband you want to end the relationship because of his possible reaction. Is that right? f) Confirm the accuracy of the paraphrase

Practice: Get into triads/dyads and do the following paraphrases together

4) Summary

v A collection of two or more paraphrases or reflections that condenses the clients messages or the session v Covers more material v Covers a longer period of clients discussion

Purposes of a Summary
To tie together multiple elements of client messages To identify a common theme or pattern To interrupt excessive rambling To start a session To end a session To pace a session To review progress To serve as a transition when changing topics

Steps in a Summary Example- Client, an young girl

At the beginning of the session: I dont understand why my parents cant live together anymore. Im not blaming anybody, but it just feels very confusing to me. *Said in a low, soft voice with lowered, moist eyes+

Near the middle of the same session: I wish they could keep it together. I guess I feel like they cant because they fight about me so much. Maybe Im the reason they dont want to live together anymore.

a) Recall key content and affect messages Key content: wants parents to stay together Key affect: feels sad, upset, responsible b) Identify patterns or themes She is the one who is responsible for her parents break-up c) Use an appropriate sentence stem and verbalize the summarization response e.g., I sense, or You are feeling

d) Summarize e.g., Earlier today you indicated you didnt feel like blaming anyone for whats happening to your parents. Now Im sensing that you are feeling like you are responsible for their break-up e) Assess the effectiveness of your summarization

Practice: A 30-year-old man who has been blaming himself for his wifes unhappiness: I really feel guilty about marrying her in the first place. It wasnt really for love. It was just a convenient thing to do. I feel like Ive messed up her life really badly. I also feel obliged to her. *Said in low, soft voice tone with lowered eyes]

Practice: A 27-year-old woman who has continually focused on her relationships with men and her needs for excitement and stability: First session: Ive been dating lots and lots of men for the last few years. Most of them have been married. Thats great because there are no demands on me. *Bright eyes, facial animation, high-pitched voice]

Fourth session: It doesnt feel so good anymore. Its

not so much fun. Now I guess I miss having some commitment and stability in my life. [Soft voice, lowered eyes]

5) Reflection

v A verbal response to client emotion

Example
v Client: So many things are going on right now: another hectic semester has started, my dogs sick, and my moms ill too. I find myself running around trying to take care of everything. Im not sure I can take it anymore. v Counsellor: Youre feeling pretty overwhelmed by all the things that are going on right now.

Purposes of a Reflection
Helps clients:

Feel understood Express more feelings Manage feelings Discriminate among various feelings

Steps of a Reflection

Client, a 50-year-old steelworker now laid off: Now look, what can I do? Ive been laid off over a year. Ive got no money, no job, and a family to take care of. Its also clear to me that my mind and skills are just wasting away. [Said in a loud, critical voice, staring at the ceiling, brow furrowed, eyes squinting]

a. Listen closely and observe behaviour Watch nonverbal behaviour Verbally reflect the feelings back to the client b. Identify the feeling category c. Identify the intensity d. Match the feeling and intensity of a word e. Feed back to the client f. Add content using the form You feel ___ , because _____. g. Check for accuracy

Practice: Get into your triads/dyads and do the following paraphrases together A tool to handle Children andAdolescence in School more effectively 2. COUNSELLING 3. Contrary to what many people think, therole of a counsellor is not to give advice.Instead, they will help you question theway you look at things, the way youbehave or react to situations or people andthey can also help you to develop newstrategies for dealing with your situation. They do this by getting to know you,developing an understanding of yourcircumstances, listening to what you haveto say and by offering support and insight. 4. The counselor So that the The counselor So that themust client can May client canListen Develop his/her thinking Ask questions Develop her/his own thinkingNot judge Feel safe and respected Summarize Hear her/hisPay attention Know you care thoughts andAccept the clients Know he/she is know she/hefeelings not being judged is understoodThink about the Get the best helpclient possible

5. feel more comfortable confiding in someone whos removed from your personal situation and is therefore more objective. Having a set time and space to talk may help you to work through the issues concerning you. 6. Provides emotional security and comfortPromotes insightGenerates self awarenessFacilitates confidence 7. When for no reason by any means 8.

ing or threatening to harm themselves or others, including animals -

9. Extreme, rapid changes in moods or personality, or drastic changes that last more than six weeks or sexual promiscuity 10. Counselling is definitely worth considering when: need someone to listen to you and help you work out whats most important seriously affecting your day-tonext. 11. Showing genuineness issues) 12. 13. istening attentively Being non- punishing 14. Sit squarelyOpen postureLean forwardEye contactRelaxed attitude 15. Listening ngUnderstanding includesWhat is told by the person,How it is told/untold,What happens in me, as counsellor, at that time 16. xpress her/his feelings -solving approach 17. EvaluativeInterpretativeSupportiveProbingUnderstanding 18. making judgments of good/bad, right/wrong, should/should not, fair/unfair, just/unjust, etc. confirming with the speaker that the listener has understood the message correctly 19. intention gather specific information - it can normally be answered with either a single word or a short phrase. 20. What we can learn through questions? : The general situation-- "What did you want to talk about?" The facts-- "What happened?" Feelings-- "How did you feel?" Reasons-- "Why did you do that?" Specifics Will you please give me an example 21. REPHRASING (restating what is told, withoutadding or subtracting its meaning. SometimesParaphrasing is used to clarify / Summarizing isfocusing on the main points of the

conversation )REFLECTING ( To convey that the feelings oremotions are understood)REFRAMING ( to facilitate the person to thinkfrom other perspectives, develops insight) 22. Content: The actual words used, non- verbal messagesDepth: How serious/superficial is the messageMeaning: Response should neither add or omit meaning/matter, thus choice ofwords , language used is very important 23. introduction, information gathering, discussionandconclusion.Note taking and Record keeping may also berequired, but keeping in mind the issues of sessionneed and confidentiality 24. the persons feeling/emotions /thinking process from his/her shoes concerned too much(sympathy)/ too less (apathy) 25. understand you must be you can understand that you are in the same situation It is very and unsure, if you will be able horrible of him. ng his/ her sorrow you however I can. him/ her fully feel whatever he please dont cry everything will or she is feeling and just be be alright. there with the person 26. Be aware of Body languages:facial expressions, angle of ourbody, proximity of ourselves toanother, placement of arms andlegs, raising and lowering ofeyebrows, tone of voice , etc . 27. time in her / his life, one who makes himself / herself progressively unnecessary. 28. for his/her difficulties , thus 29. Counseling is an important part of handling problems . Individual or group sessions, in school, can help the children and adolescence to: and why their behaviors are negative, and how to cope better ing services in school play a very significant role in this context. 30. lems better social skillsSchool counselor/ provision of appropriate counseling services in school play a very significant role in this context. 31. academic deterioration, etc.) properly for further intervention, in time, if required