Types of Listening Responses

All seven of the types of listening responses listed below can be used in the course of feedback and evaluation. Using a mixture of responses will provide the most balanced supervision. 1. Reflective: Responses that show an understanding of the thoughts and feelings that have been expressed by the student. 2. Interpretive: Responses that indicate that the supervisor understands on a deeper level than the words spoken the meaning of the event or feeling that the student is explaining (reporting). Seeks to explain the dynamics of a situation. 3. Supportive: Responses that are intended to reassure and/or reduce anxiety. Responses that also can seek to inspire or to undergird a person. 4. Evaluative: Responses that indicate that the supervisor has made a judgments regarding the relative quality, appropriateness, effectiveness or rightness of the students actions, words or behavior (use of responses that suggest what the studentmight or ought to have done). Can carry a value judgment. 5. Probing: Responses that indicate that the supervisors intent is to query, to seek further information or provoke further discussion along a certain line. Can be divided into probing for feelings and probing for information 6. Advising: Responses that indicate the supervisors intention is to recommend certain approaches, actions, or methods of reflection and response. An offer of constructive suggestions about coping with a situation. 7. Teaching: Responses that seek to impart information. The Prompting Response: Prompting uses silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out. This helps you to better understand the speaker and also helps others clarify their thoughts and feelings. Examples are: Ted: Sues father is selling a complete car stereo system for only $400. Problem is if I want this I have to buy it right now because he has another interested buyer and is anxious to sell it. It is a wonderful deal, but buying it would wipe out all my savings and it would take a long time to save up that much again. Tom: Uh-huh, well Ted: I would not be able to take a winter vacation like I planned, but I would sure enjoy that car stereo system every day. Tom: That is for sure. Ted: I just dont know what to do. What do you think?

Tom: (silence) Ted: I think I will do it. I will never get a deal like this again. In the above case, Tom served as a catalyst to help Ted find his own answer. Prompting works best when done sincerely. Nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, posture, facial expression, tone of voice need to convey that you are concerned with the other persons problem. The Questioning Response: Questioning has been called the most popular piece of language. When you ask a person for information you can help both the person doing the asking and the one providing answers. Questioning helps you the asker in at least three ways: answers you get can fill in facts and details that will sharpen your understanding; you can learn what others are thinking and feeling as well as what they might want. Examples of questions include: Did he give you any reasons for doing that? What happened next? Whats on your mind? Are you mad at me? Are you asking me to apologize? Questions are also a tool useful for the one who answers. Questions can encourage self-discovery. You can use questions in personal communications to encourage others to explore their thoughts and feelings. Example: So, what do you see as your options? What would be your ideal solution? Questions such as the above can stimulate creative problem-solving alternatives and may help a friend get in touch with various wants and needs. Most important is encouraging discovery rather than dispensing advice, which indicates you have faith in others ability to think for themselves. Communicating your faith in others ability to think for them may be the most important message you send as an effective listener. Caution: Not all questions are equally helpful. Sincere questions are aimed at understanding others, counterfeit questions are aimed at sending a message, not receiving one. Examples of counterfeit questions are: Questions that trap the speaker: Such as, you didnt like that movie, did you? Immediately you are backed into a corner. It is obvious your friend disapproves, so the question leaves you with two choices: You can disagree and defend your position or you can devalue your reaction by lying or equivocating with something like this: I guess it wasnt perfect. It would be so much easier to respond to a sincere question like: What did you think of the movie? A tag question: Phrases like did you? or isnt that right? at the end of a question can be a tip-off that the asker is looking for agreement, not information. Some tag questions are genuine requests for confirmation; counterfeit ones are used to coerce agreement. Example: You said

youd call at 5 oclock, but you forgot, didnt you? In addition, leading questions that begin with Dont you (dont you think he would make a good boss? direct others toward a desired response. The solution is to change the dont you? to Do you? to make the question less leading. Questions that make statements: Are you finally off the phone? is more a statement than a question. Emphasizing certain words can also turn a question into a statement: You lent money to Tony? People are use questions to offer advice such as the person who asks Are you going to stand up to him and give him what he deserves? This statement clearly states an opinion about what should be done. Questions that carry hidden agendas: Are you busy Friday night? What is you say No, thinking the person has something fun in mind, and instead the other person says, Good, because I need some help moving my piano. Such questions are not designed to enhance understanding. They are setups for the proposal that follows. Another example of a question that carries a hidden agenda is, Will you do me a favor? of If I tell you what happened, will you promise me not to get mad? Questions that seek correct answers: Most of us have been in situations where a questioner wants to hear only a particular response. For example: Which shoes do you think I should wear? can be a sincere question unless the asker has a predetermined preference. If so, the asker is not interested in listening to contrary opinions and incorrect responses will get shot down, or Honey do you think I am ugly? can be a request for a correct answer. Questions based on unchecked assumptions: Why are you not listening to me? This assumes the other person is not paying attention. Or What is the matter? assumes that something is wrong. Paraphrasing Responses: Suppose someone gave you directions that sounded like this: Just go up the road here about one mile and turn left when you get to that big red barn. Suppose your friend thinks one mile is actually about four miles and suppose there are actually two big red barns, one is just a little bit bigger than the other. It might be more helpful for you to paraphrase which is a listening response that would tell you whether you understood what had already been said before you asked additional questions. This involves restating in your own words the message you thought the speaker just sent without adding anything new. Statements that re-word the listeners interpretation of a message is paraphrasing or active listening. If you say, you are telling me to drive up the road here about one mile and turn left at the big red barn, it might lead the speaker to clarify the message and tell you which big red barn or that it is a little further than one mile. The key to paraphrasing is to restate the other persons comments in your own words as a way of cross-checking the information.

Source: Looking Out Looking In 12th edition by Ronald B. Adler and Russell Proctor