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March | 2014

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J lo flaunts it

Boosting your Briefcase company Stardom keko Las Vegas Consumer Electronics Show WHAT IT TAKES TO ROCK A CROWD 2014
Sleeping around...why the ladies succumb

Lex

Premier edition

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Contents
Newsmonger local......................5 10 questions in 10 mins.............6 Hustler........................................8 Say what....................................10 Newsmonger international.......12 Tech............................................14 Music..........................................18 Debate........................................20 Spiller.........................................22 Poetry.........................................26 Satire..........................................28

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EtMars Collection

Dear readers, Welcome to this hyper experience. We shall be bringing a monthly jam packed edition of this magazine that will be available online for free. Check out our amazing content and offer us your feedback on anything as you are the reason we do this and dont forget to follow the hype on our social media pages all round. We shall be featuring your articles, poems or anything interesting about you, so dont hesitate to mail them in. Thanks for choosing hyper and enjoy your reading. Anthony Etyang Chief Editor

2014 All rights Reserved. The name Hyper is a registered trademark. Property of EtMars Graphics Ltd email: hypermaguganda@gmail.com, Tel: +256 705 906 950, +256 789 317 565 hypermaguganda.webs.com

Liability While every care is taken in preparation of this magazine, the publishers cannot be held responsible for the information herein or any consequences arising from it.

Relationships.............................29 Grammys gallery.......................30 Movies........................................32 Sport...........................................34

The team
Managing Director Sekwe John Martin Chief Editor Etyang Anthony Marketing and Sales Okella Christopher Alex Contributing Writers Mwanja Jeff Musiime, Semakula Emmanuel, Etyang Anthony

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Cover photo: Deejay Lex on the decks at one of the gigs where he rocked

Pics of the month Tweetsigator

hyPER Newsmonger local

MUN G FLYING SOLO
What started out as a rumor was later confirmed when Mun G posted an official statement on his Facebook page clearing the air on his status quo in Baboon Forest Entertainment. Mun G whose music career has thrived in the Baboon Forest brooder, is an artist that is responsible for numerous hits that have rocked Kampala dance floors and air waves, right from Ebintu to the current Naava collabo, Sejusa. And this he attributes by offering appreciation to GNL Zamba the boss at Baboon Forest and refutes all claims of bad blood between them saying the decision was in mutual consent. A lot remains to be seen about his new career path as the CEO of Kunta Kinte Entertainment, his new record label whose vision he says includes promoting talent, after his last concert did not get as much attendance as the previous one. But like he concludes in the statement this is the next chapter his fans also stay hopeful in their star as seen from the positive feedback on social media. Good luck Mr. Bintu

ANNE KANSIIME TO MEET QUEEN ELIZABETH

She is disproving all those that thought that her entire life was a total joke like she potrays herself while on stage. And this time they are up for a greater shock because the comedians manager, Johnson Mujungu, said Anne has received an invitation to the Commonwealth Day reception in London to take place on March 10, 2014 where she will be a guest to Commonwealth secretary general and his wife. This will be an addition to the host of accolades and prestigious awards that the comedy queen has scooped. We are really happy for her as she flies the greater heights.

@misterdeejayug Its sad how much 22 strangers kicking a ball thousands of miles away can affect my life so much. @usainbolt Let the record show that even at @ManUtd worst..Arsenal cannot beat us this season @Mo_Farah @piersmorgan @eljoshee We celebrated when you won We shall support even when you lose #GGMU

Life is too short to ride in such a taxi

@JoshuaPoro @Airtel_Ug this is the tenth time you are asking for my location am at city square. Even my friends are having dropped calls. @UCC_Officioal

f Facebook Intel
Nelly sade Music Someone should go check out the new Acacia mall-Kisementi. But please go slow theres KFC! Songa Samuel Stone The same people who were throwing anti-Museveni lines after NRM endorsed him solely for 2016 are now praising him over #AntiGayBill news! Cindy Sanyu In Tanzania baby. Mwanza are you ready for me??? Hahahahaaa mbasaaside kubanga I came with mygals, sexiest dancers in the business tomorrow Valentines at JB Belmonte hotel Fire baby Nighttime is fun time
Mail us your pics and they could feature in the next issue hypermaguganda@gmail.com

Money bag, sudhirs daughter weds in pomp

Rated by Forbes as the richest man in East Africa, Sudhir Ruperelia, did not hesitate to give his daughter, Meera Ruparelia a final ostentatious send off as she got married to Ravi Kotecha at an occasion that was concluded with a party at the prestigious Speke Resort Munyonyo. Affluent names like Patrick Bitature, Geoffrey Kirumira of Kwagalana group, Mike Mukula and some selected politicians were present at the invite only event that might soon go down as the most expensive weeding ever held in Uganda at a plentiful cost estimated at $2m.

Work hard, play less...is how it is done down town

Nyanda for kampala womens day gig

Nyanda, member of the Jamaican all girl duo, Brick and Lace, is to perform at a concert to take place on 8th March,2014 at Garden city rooftop. Entrance be 20,000 Ushs and 50,000 Ushs for the show that kicks off at 4 pm. Also on stage will be numerous top Ugandan female artistes namely; Jackie Chandiru, Cindy, Sheebah, Fille and Brenda Nambi. I guess Nyanda will surely tell us what she implied in her song Slippery when wet.

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10 questions
Given only 15 seconds, how would you describe yourself?
People consider me to be ambitious , creative and hardworking. I dont know if I am any of these things. What I know is that am a life long learner committed to my values.

in 10 Mins

Hyper magazine managed to steal ten minutes off of Mihigo Davidsons busy schedule and he shared his business mind with us

What exactly do you do?

I head an IT company team that I helped Co-found, Ebbzworld Inc. Ltd where we develop bespoke software solutions, systems design, programming, and consultancy for businesses who depend on IT for success. We also do social media concierge, S.E.O, and all kinds of IT support. I am the Creative Director for a marketing agency, Aquarius group Ltd. I design marketing and systematic growth concepts for different organizations especially SMEs but we have one MNC as our client. Among other initiatives.

Sometimes despite discouragement at first of parents who had these high hopes for their children, the boy or girl finds something they REALLY want to do and then go for it. So my advice to the young is: get out of this rat race for identical job-skills which are interchangable and find yourself something you can do and want to grow into by learning from a master craftsman (yes they are still around). The objective is to make things or do things that are unique, have room for improvement by you and get better every time you DO it. Yes, even bricklaying.

Your thoughts on the Ugandan education system and curriculum.

The Ugandan education is encouraging white collar-mentality, which has led to the current problem of acute unemployment. The government should equip students with real life skills. All courses are very good but there is a question of applicability to the economy. If you studied psychology in U.S.A., you would easily get employed in the investigations department to understand criminals but our human resource capabilities might not handle such a talent. That is why you find a masters degree holder walking on the street with a tie and suit, files in one hand with a shoe bending in the south east direction, in the hot sun and very broke. On the other hand, a chap who went to vocational school has parked his car, sleeves rolled up doing carpentry work expecting a profit of 100,000/= each day. Something is definitely wrong. E.g Up to today I dont understand why I ever sat in that chemistry class.

Paint a word picture of yourself 10 years from now

Any remarkable decisions you made that got you where you are today?

I have done so many things but one people found strange (I didnt). I quit my Accounting and Finance degree in year 2 to concentrate on my IT career. At that time I had successfully attracted an investor for a project I was working on. I had to travel a lot and be available. The project had about UGX 200m on it so I decided to first put books a side. My mum broke down but for me it was an answer to a million questions. It opened me to the world, I begun understanding how the business world works, how people operate and gave me million-dollar confidence to break walls. Looking back, it was a very risky decision but worth it. I had to do a one-year training on high-level system design in the first year of the project.

Business wise, am working on establishing myself around East Africa especially with new age technology and products. In 10 years I will have extended all over East Africa. I also want to go into agro-processing with a unique product that the world will embrace. On a personal level, I see a wife and I think Ill be a good dad of one or two children.

Tips for the unemployed youth

Your mentor and why them?

My mentor is Dr. Ham Muliira, the Senior Presidential Advisor on ICT and former Minister of ICT. His knowledge on Software Engineering, Information Systems analysis and design, Computer Security and Statistical Analysis is impeccable. I would have to work for 30 years to get what he taught me, and thats after going to Harvard University. He is very down to earth, that explains my humility..haha and his humour is classic.

Advise the government on the youth unemployment and poverty debacle.

The government needs a critical assessment of this issue. But just like the Chinese proverb Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime, the Ugandan government should focus on equipping entrepreneurial skills to Ugandan Youths other than giving them money and hand outs. Further more, the government needs to stop wishful thinking and ACT. African economies like banks are using software sourced from India, African firms go ahead to outsource IT experts from India. These chaps solve these issues from the comfort of their bedroom. The government needs to tap in the ICT hub to grab these elusive jobs. Youths should also wake up and be a bit more aggressive; they shouldnt wait for government to create opportunities for them. Find something you CAN and then DO IT . I have seen it all around me everywhere and it starts to become a pattern.

Youths should forget the mentality of I studied this, and so I should get a job in this. This statement means that if you dont get something in line with what you studied, you will die poor, you are limiting yourself. Young people have been introduced to different technologies at a more rapid rate than experienced people. This means that they can adapt to change more quickly, can assimilate information faster and can bring an organization to the forefront of their industry more quickly therefore think of growth proposals for companies who knows, you will get hired that way. In such case you come with a better say in the organization. The biggest resistance most employers have with taking on young people is the amount of time they will have to spend training them on the skills they need. They rely on experienced people to just come in and get the job done!. I advise young people to undertake the following prior to any interview: 1. Volunteer with somebody who is doing your desired job right now, so you have some level of understanding and prior experience to bring to an interview 2. Research the company you are meeting with so you present confidently with a lot of knowledge. 3. Demonstrate that you are a quick learner. Think of examples and have them ready to introduce in an interview. The examples you use are your selling points.

Sales maximization vs. profit maximization?

Thats like Nine months in the womb Vs. Now?. One couldnt do without the other. Sales are the first step toward profits. Without sales, there are no profits. In a perfect business world, sales maximization would work hand-in-hand with profit maximization to create the ideal scenario for company owners

Parting shots

Probably what you want to do, someone out there is doing. However consumer behaviors keep adjusting dependant on a number of factors like technology, economic growth, lifestyle and globalization. This presents us with opportunities to create new products and services. You dont have to do the same stuff. You can do the same thing better or introduce something new on the market and it will define you and make your dreams. People wont understand you at first but just like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela you will leave behind a strong legacy.

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Hustler

Giving your briefcase company a boost

Answering calls; Mbwa gwe (Luganda word for you dog), Whadup such language should be spared for your bar friend because answering a clients call that way will not only give him doubts about you but will also build sky scraper tall negative images about you in this guy/ladys mind. So, politeness when answering calls is a MUST, at least fake it if you is not are not having the best of days-News good anchors never admit how half time excellent, excellent that they are before cameras they are is not perfect and perfect is never perwearing counterfeit smiles. fect enough. Never admit that you are a rookie in the business; this may not be totally good advice but it could help you counter the stereotypes people have about novices. But honestly, with the coming of the internet and everyones best friend Google, how do you just admit that you do not know, unless you are an IT guy and you are being asked about human medicine. Anything in your line of duty should always be at your fingertips. Have a plan; even Microsoft was once a startup but it had a plan for how it would get where it is today. Similarly do not be satisfied with fair, because fair is not good, good is not excellent, excellent is not perfect and perfect is never perfect enough. Do not settle for the upcoming title just like some Ugandan musicians have done and only getting worse. Give these tips a try and practice them diligently, and tomorrow you will not be smiling your way to the bank, just to be clear, not the Kazinda way or the Bad Black way.

Startups...before you dive to the deep end

Like a baby progresses from one stage of growth to the next, that company you are starting up needs to go through series of steps each characterized by activities that must be taken seriously. None of us ever hopes that our investments will amount to nothing but unfortunately it is that bitter side that most companies halted to and many others are still headed to. We give you now a few of the activities that could fuel your business startup engine. Branding; who are you, what does your product/service bring to the market and numerous other questions of that sort are the ones you should answer as because they will serve as the bedrock of your company brand strategy. Once that is done with the care it requires, the preceding stages of logo designing, formulation of a slogan, mission statement and vision will go on smoothly. Get peoples opinions; this one will take a bit of firmness because not every person will endorse your ideas feasibility

The youth unemployment statistics in Uganda are aboveboard horrific but the only good thing is that they are just statistics catching some Zs in reports safely tacked away in filing cabinets. On the other hand, things are not just going to sort themselves out and its on that basis that young, energetic and enthusiastic youth are birthing startups in all sectors with the aim of making money for survival at least for the start. No matter the field you are in, there are MUSTs that should never be overlooked if your startup is to raise enough money for you to be able to take care of your girl and may be buy you nice clothes because even the clothing in thrift shops does not come cheap any more. If you intend to see your business live past the three months that it takes for most businesses slip down the drain then you could try these few tactics. Business cards; instead of clogging your wallet with useless material which I suppose is not money, I suggest that you invest in making business cards for yourself that you should carry around with you wherever you go, be it at a bar, who knows where your next client could come from. Just to precise, include only the necessary information on that business card, do not put things like your marital status there, it is useless may be if youre in the pimping business-Father Lokodo should never see this. Appearance; psychologists say that when you meet someone for the first time, they sum up an opinion in their mind about you within the first five minutes of your meeting. I do not know how true that fact is, but one thing I am so sure of is that no matter how much sense you flood out of your mouth but when you look like a dog that just scampered through some bush, that may probably be the last time you are seeing your client. Like the saying goes what you are is far louder than what you say. So invest in a neat look and by that I do not mean that you comb the Kampala streets looking for a Wall Street business suit, just be presentable.

a few Mbs worth of data to open up an email address and a penny to buy a SIM card at your nearby kiosk, so get those in place to enable whoever it is that wants to communicate with you to reach you easily. If you can afford a postal address then get one. Record keeping; for every single penny you spend on setting up you company be but criticism once taken positively could catapult you to your dreams. try doing your research it the cost of a bodaboda ride A key thing to note about this; even among people who to town, document it somewhere as in future you could try doing your research even are not your friends think that your already mintamong people who are not ing profits and yet the reality would be that your friends because that good friend could most probably hide the truth from you in you are just covering previous costs. fear of hurting your feelings. Plunge in and never look back; with the Contacts; it was only in the stone age when following in check you will be strategically birds carried messages from one place to prepared to swim in the deep waters of the another and I doubt if today they would business world, you may meet a few sharks survive crashing into the tall buildings here and there but with such preparation, I that have come up. So, take some time to am sure you will swim past them. get yourself contacts, it will cost you only

If asked how many times you have used that Google search page or any of its affiliate services, it would probably equal to the number of times you have gone online, but it is funny how many of us know not even a thing about the company behind this online service which is responsible for the existence of the word Googling in our vocabulary. To save you from getting embarrassed when in the company of informed people, we take a sneak preview of the internet giant, Google Inc. It all began in January 1996 as a research project by two Ph.D. students from Stanford University, Sergey Brin and Lawrence Page, and Google was then incorporated as a privately held company on September 4 1998. Google originates from a misspelling of the word googol which means the number one

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followed by one hundred zeros and was chosen to signify the search engines intention to provide large quantities of information. While other search engines ranked their results by counting how many times the search terms appeared on a page, Brin and Page theorized about a better system that would analyze the relationships between websites and determine websites relevance by their number of pages, and this was a tap root that helped the company penetrate the tech field. The technology company that is currently headquartered in Mountain View, California, focuses on improving the ways people connect with information, and as of 2011; it owned and operated six data centers across the U.S., one in Finland and another in Belgium and many more are either being set up or already in blueprint. Besides its custom search engine, it offers a vast range of on-demand online services like; Google Now, AdWords,

Started from the bottom

Company Profile

AdSense, Google Display, DoubleClick Ad Exchange, Google Mobile, Google Local, Android, Google Chrome OS, Google Chrome, Google+, Google Play, Google Drive, Google Wallet, Google TV, Search Appliance, Google Commerce, Google Maps Application Programming Interface, Google Earth Enterprise, and many other related products and services. About what the future holds to them, only the competition from the likes of Yahoo will tell, but so far, it has a wild goose chase feel all over it.

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Say what??

Name: Deejay Lex Spots where he plays: Fatboyz and everywhere you here that there is a crazy party because that would call for a talented deejay like Lex Rating: He is too good he will make you dance all through the party. Skills: Mind blowing transitions from one track to another What does it take to rock a crowd? Not playing the same stuff Being creative Last thing you do before getting behind the decks? Take a glass of water How you deal with nagging fans in clubs or bars? I put them on a waiting list. Craziest gig youve done A house party at Cayenne. Playlist vs. spontaneous mix? With playlist one ever on point (Not the same) Right: Skills at work... Deejay Lex spins the wheels at several gigs hyPER 11

Hyper magazine did some catching up with Deejay Lex and we decided to share some excerpts from our conversation With a song title,describe Deejay Lex? Keeping it real. Who is Deejay Lex when not deejaying? Is a down to earth guy,God fearing and Proud father. If it wasnt deejaying what would you be doing? Business man Your thoughts on the status quo of the Uganda deejaying scene. In the next 5-10 years it will be competitive. hyPER 10

Newsmonger international

Age is just that...a number

Rewarded

Shes famous, shes 44 and shes hot. Bronx born beauty who is also an American Idol judge, J Lo, stepped out for the We Are One World Cup music video shoot in Miami, Florida clad in a skintight snow white outfit, complete with short hot pants. She was filmed with several young men who were in microscopic bathing bottoms and from the look on their faces it was quite clear that they were awed by her appealing look. On the sidelines was her man, Casper Smart, tight marking and also her daughters Max and Emme with Marc Anthony, who must be drowning in deep regret for losing out on such a hotie. Play on girl...

Five Michael Jackson fans who were members of the king of pops fan club in Orleans and France have each been awarded $1.36 after they proved with medical records in court that they had suffered emotional damage, and trauma. The fans who will not be claiming their $1.36 only did it to serve as a symbol victory of the verdict that sprouted from a lawsuit which the king of pops fans filed against Dr. Conrad Murray, who administered a lethal dose of anesthesia and it was then ruled in court as the cause of Micheals death. He might be dead but his legacy truly still lives on.

Who said that maintaining celebrity status has got no cost? If its so then how are we supposed to interprete a scene of someone showing up at a red carpet premier of his movie wearing a paper bag that reads Im not famous anymore. Yes, that is what Shia LaBeouf did with the expectation that we are supposed to believe him because if he really wanted to disappear from the spotlight, then he probably should have shunned the invitations to the red carpet premieres of his movie.

Stunt man

Pope Francis has sold his 1,585cc Dyna Super Glide motorbike that he received last June as a gift from Harley Davidson when the American companys marked its 110th anniversary. The sale occurred at an auction that had lots of buyers in attendance at Grand Palais (Great Palace) where it went for 200,000 (20 times its original valuation) A leather biker jacket which accompanied the motorbike was also sold for 41,000 raising a large amount of money that is to be given to charity. Cash moves everything around us.

Pope seals sweet deal

It was a fake

This is what Drake had to say on Macklemores instagram post offering a private apology to Kendrick Lamar for taking home the Best Rap Album Grammy last month. that s*** was wack as f***. I was like, You won. Why are you posting your text message? Just chill. Take your W****, and if you feel you didnt deserve it, go get better make better music. It felt cheap. It didnt feel genuine. Why do that? Why feel guilt? You think those guys would pay homage to you if they won? he told Rolling Stone. Sounds similar to the Ugandan music industry stuff, its only entertainment.

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Tech

Every confessed tech head out there must have heard about the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) that congregates every January at the Las Vegas Convention Center, Nevada, United States. If this is not in your mental lexicon, then I will break it down for you. The Consumer Electronics Association sponsored show that was first held in June 1967 in New York City, is an internationally renowned electronics and technology trade show that attracts major companies and industry professionals worldwide and has offered a proving ground for innovators and breakthrough technologies for more than 40 years as a statement reads from their official website. At this years tech fair, it was all about wearable gadgets, upgraded tablets and the connected home. The huge screen ultra-highdefinition (UHD) televisions that have a facial recognition feature kindled the mood at the show. Since it is not open to the public we give you a glimpse at the gadgets that got minds baffled. Wearable tech If you are a gamer, then the wearable gaming controller by YEI Technology called the PrioVR that consists of sensors which are strapped onto the body to allow you to fully immerse yourself into the virtual world is one that will sweep you off your feet. The gadget that comes with the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset makes use of triaxial gyroscopes, magnetometers, accelerometers and sensor fusion for reading movements. So, you had better start saving up because an upper-body option is expected to cost less than $337 and a full-body option less than $400 when it goes on sale in June 2015.

If one thing is certain, its that soon everything could be connected to the internet

L a sV e g a sC o n sum er E l ectr o n ic sS how 2014

Zepp unveiled a $150 sensor that uses 3D tracking to measure and analyze your bat or racquet swing. It can be bound to a club, glove, bat or racquet to help in improving your performance in golf, baseball and tennis. Tablets This year saw the release of convertible or multi-mode tablets that are able to transform into laptops and can run two operating systems for instance Android and Windows at the same time. The convertible Vaio Fit 11A Flip PC unveiled by Sony runs Windows 8.1 and includes a copy of Adobe Photoshop Elements 12. Pricing will start from $799 in February when it goes on the market. The Miix 2 by Lenovo, which has a 10.1 inch screen that can be detached to become a tablet or turned around to be docked backwards. Asus Transformer Book Duet is another tablet that can run both Android and Windows operating systems, and it includes a feature that allows the tablet to be detached from the keyboard. Samsung also for the first time unveiled its largest tablets, the 12 inch Galaxy NotePRO and TabPRO. Connected home devices The Mother by Sen.se is a gadget that uses small devices called cookies that can be attached to anything and a main device that resembles a doll for tracking data and then connecting it to your phone or email. It can alert you on how much water to drink, whether you are sleeping long enough or if its time for you to have a pill. Boulder showed off its Revolv, which can connect compatible devices like light bulbs, sound systems and even door locks to allow them all to be controlled from one smartphone App. If one thing is certain, its that soon everything could be connected to the internet: doors, lights, refrigerators, but at least not the toilets.

I do not know about you, but a computer that performs processes at snail speed really gets under my skin. It could be due to virus infections, archaic hardware but it could also be because youre running many processes at the same time. From our research we found out something new and this could be the reason for your slow computer processing speeds. Did you know that there are thousands of unused files on your operating system at every moment in time? Never mind because there is just a good solution for that in CCleaner, which is a system optimization, privacy and cleaning tool that removes unused files, cleans internet history and a host of other files. A 100% free download can be found online and it will not take even a second to download because it is quite small in size. Just so that you are not worried about losing your data, the software does NOT contain any Spyware, Adware or Viruses but only cleans the following: Internet Explorer; temporary files, history, cookies, super cookies, auto complete form history, index.dat files Firefox; temporary files, history, cookies, super cookies, download history, form history. Google Chrome; temporary files, history, cookies, super cookies, download history, form history.

G e e kt h at!

Opera; temporary files, history, cookies, super cookies, download history. Apple Safari; temporary files, history, cookies, super cookies, form history. Other Supported browsers; K-Meleon, Rockmelt, Flock, Google Chrome Canary, Chromium, SeaMonkey, Chrome Plus, SRWare Iron, Pale Moon, Phoenix, Netscape Navigator, Avant and Maxthon. Windows; recycle Bin, Recent Documents, Temporary files, Log files, Clipboard, DNS Cache, Error Reporting, Memory Dumps, Jump Lists. Registry; advanced features to remove unused and old entries, including File Extensions, ActiveX Controls, ClassIDs, ProgIDs, Uninstallers, Shared DLLs, Fonts, Help Files, Application Paths, Icons, Invalid Shortcuts and more... Third-party applications; removes temp files and recent file lists (MRUs) from many apps including Windows Media Player, eMule, Google Toolbar, Microsoft Office, Nero, Adobe Acrobat, WinRAR, WinAce, WinZip and many more... Embrace this tip and you could save yourself a few shillings that you would have spent on hiring an IT guyGood luck folks.

A p p d at e

LG unveiled the Lifeband Touch, a device that will be available in stores later this year. The device is paired with headphones and a smartphone App. to measure distance, speed, number of steps, calories consumed and projected pace. Also with them, was the Heart Rate Earphones, which can measure the wearers pulse. A waterproof wristband (SmartBand) that has the ability to track everything about you from physical activities to sleep patterns and how much you have socialized with friends was a Sony brain baby that awed many. If you own a smelly pair of shoes, it is time you sent them to the trash can because Sensoria a product of a company called Heapsylon will be on the market in March. The $185 socks are able to track how your foot hits the ground, analyze the rhythm of each footfall and calculate stride length.

Others Other fresh technologies included the EyeLock myris iris scanner, which can connect to your computer and lets you log in using your eye, also a 3D camera from Intel that brings human-like senses to the digital world was unveiled. Toshiba introduced the worlds first laptops with 4K resolution screens, while Panasonic showed off its TV screen range, which can recognise who is watching the TV using facial recognition, and can make recommendations about the content they might want to view, something the new XBox also does. LG displayed its WebOS platform on its new Smart TVs, the WebOS platform that has been praised by many was purchased from Hewlett Packard (HP) in February 2013 after they abandoned it. In a demonstration, a prototype smart TV running the WebOS seemed simple to use seeing from its remote connected via Bluetooth for controlling the cursor on the screen.

If you were not reading this magazine (which you might be doing on your smart phone or tablet device) then you would most probably be fidgeting with your smart phone. So, why not hook you up with information about phone applications that could ease your life. It might not be new to some, but Truecaller is a phone App. that became so popular in 2013. It is a social contact book, which helps you know an unknown caller provided they have used their number on any social network or online service. (talk about dealing with stalkers) Find a download online and then get to experience the following features that the App. offers: Caller ID; it helps you identify whos calling before answering (Requires 3G or Wi-Fi) Block calls; allows access to an extensive top spammers list and allows you to quickly block calls from all numbers reported as spam

Truecaller

Reverse number lookup for both mobile and landline numbers; the phone app will even find numbers to pre-paid phones Integrated with Twitter; allows for boosted search results and communication options to Tweet and Follow a person directly using the App. Truecaller also keeps your phonebook beautiful and up-todate with photos and more from the Truecaller community, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google+ Enables you to create your own Truecaller profile for easy identification by your pals Widget that lets you see your call history from the launcher

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T ec hH er a l d
with an antenna for extra range allowing access by eight devices, headlamps that use lasers as the illumination source, an Android operating system, a self-driving feature that will allow you take I am starting to believe what they say that intelligence borders in- your hands off that steering wheel and let the car do the work for sanity because for perplexing ideas to be theorized and then fully you with the help of sensors, or even better, park your car with implemented, it would take the same amount of brain power that it just a swipe on your smart phone. Fast navigation capability using takes for one to qualify for inhabitance of a psychiatric institution. Google Earth and Google Street to view maps but a on a higher because it all happens with a 4G connection which also If you dont believe me then read ahead on about what it is that the notch enhances your downloads and high-definition video streaming to modern 4G connected cars are able to do. passenger devices. We know that our customers rely on being connected on a daily, Audi Connect also has Facebook and Twitter alerts to keep you in if not hourly basis, and they expect to be provided with the infor- step with goings on in social media sites, spoken news headlines, mation and content they desire with no interruptions was what 7,000 plus web radio station, and RSS feeds. Mary Chan the president of GMs Global Connected Consumer said in support of this tech revolutionizing invention that is set to A lot more that is baffling is there to be known about this moving smartphone. So for all the tech heads, you should get to work take the world by a swoosh. your research so that our Ugandan powered car invention is Imagine buying a data bundle for your additional device, yes your with given a touch of ideological insanity just like these have car, because with Audi connect, your car acts as a Wi-Fi hotspot also done.

n ew s@T ec h
Apple TV to hit the stores
The highly anticipated Apple TV is set to hit stores in the US in April of this year. The device will raise the pace of competition with other brands which have taken on internet TV as a new service. It is presumed that Apple is still working on the platform to enable it to get the required reception on launch day. They have also been working out a major content deal with Time Warner Cable where there seems to be rivalry with Comcast who are also in talks with the same company. But like they always do, building excitement with consumers, gives them a bit of an edge over consumers prior to launch dates. We wait to see how this plays out.

Kenyattas computer for everyone dream

Audi and Chevrolet 4G Connected automobiles

Providing computers for people all over Kenya including the slums of Nairobi is one promise that people look forward to from Uhuru Kenyattas manifesto. And it seems, Keepod has got the solution to this in their low cost refurbished computers that can be securely shared. Roughly 30 users will share a computer, and local hubs will be set up to provide connectivity and instruction. Security is no worry as each users Keepod OS remains private, since all files are kept on the USB drive. Keepod is garnering financial support of about $35,000 to get the project rolling with the goal of providing access to computing resources to residents of Nairobis Mathare slums. Could Uganda borrow a leaf? We leave that to those in the positions that have the authority to spearhead transformation.

Chill on the wheel

WhatsApp against crime

Take charge!

Get there fast with the fast navigation

While you may be using the App up to chat up your girl friend or for exchanging crappy videos like the trend is today, groups of Swedish police officers are using WhatsApp as a work tool for surveillance operations. The officers that inadvertently added a civilian IT teacher to the their chat group after mistyping one of the phone numbers use the App for sharing sensitive case information like criminal records, passport photos and also for communications between surveillance teams trailing suspects. The civilian later informed them of the messages that he was getting but made totally no sense to him. Lucky they landed on a honest one. With such news, we are sure it will not be long till our Ugandan police chief takes a step in that direction.

New feature on YouTube

Windows 9 already in the pipeline

Audi connect interface Stay connected

You can now search for your favorite artists music on YouTube be able to see their top tracks, full albums, and related artists neatly grouped in a suitable way for your listening and viewing pleasure. The feature clearly displays a sidebar on the right with direct links to top tracks and albums from the subject of your search. It will also let you easily jump from one track to another or to switch videos with a lot of ease. For example, search for Navio and you will have his top ten tracks and albums from latest to earliest displayed on your screen. Click on any track, and YouTube will play the associated music video or click on an album, and a playlist of videos will be loaded in the very order that they are on the actual album. Go ahead and give it a try, that is if our sluggish Ugandan internet will be able to let you fully enjoy the new experience.

Comes in the following models

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The speed with which the tech world is moving is just so amazing that I wonder whether we in Uganda will be able to keep up. Just after a major Windows 8.1 update has been put out by Microsoft, rumors are abound that Windows 9 is already on its way. Going by Paul Thurrotts Supersite for Windows, Microsoft will begin discussing the next version of Windows (codenamed Threshold, at least for the moment) at Aprils BUILD conference. Threshold is more important than any specific updates he wrote. Windows 8 is tanking harder than Microsoft is comfortable discussing in public. Threshold whose development will supposedly begin in late April, is meant to iron out Windows 8s holes. But the new Windows interface that earned such a beating from critics is not changing because Microsoft thinks that the format, once tweaked, will somehow revive the operating systems fortunes whose release is rumoured to be around 2015.

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Off the chain

Prominent for switching up flows and dropping killer hooks, Roc Nations Jermaine Cole(J Cole) has surely not come short in his second album, Born Sinner, which was released on the 18th of June 2013 debuting at number 2 on the Bill board 200 later going on to the zenith at number one. Sounding at his ever best, J Cole raps from the heart in this one, as he is one of those new breed rappers that keep it real in their flow with talk about life like in the breezy styled duet with the remaining members of TLC (Crooked Smile) He really reveals a lot about himself in this album, talking about his background and his life experiences growing up, before he had the money and the fame. He paints a perfect word picture of uncertainty of life and how it can change abruptly in forbidden fruit where he features Kendrick Lamar who was barely audible and then puts out some catchy J Cole raps from stuff in Power Trip which is ac- the heart in this c o m p a nied with a soulful Miguel one touch. The album is one of those letters from the heart where Cole gives his view of life with some laid back vibe to treat the listener to some unique tunes. His inspiration from celebrated rapper Nasir Jones (Nas) is not left out like when he goes on about how he used to cut out his raps in high school that even inspired a replay from Nas himself in the lines Used to print out Nas raps and tape em up on my wall/ My niggas thought they was words, but it was pictures I saw. The album showcases J Coles lyricism paired with on point musicality where he does some of the production and this makes the album one that any hip-hop enthusiast must have on their playlist. Though on the other hand the album did not turn out a total success in the line of sales perhaps it was because of the decision of scheduling the release to the same day as Kanyes Yezuus. Take a listen and let us know your opinions about this album.

Born sinner

Stardom

Riddim update

CANE RIVER RIDDIM 2014 RETURN TO ROCKFORT ROCK RIDDIM 2014 GOOD AGAIN RIDDIM 2014 BUSS PIPE RIDDIM 2014 BIKINI RIDDIM 2014 HASHTAG RIDDIM 2014 UNIVERSAL RIDDIM FEB 2014 SWING HEAVY RIDDIM REGGAE FEB 2014

Fresh riddims

Fresh singles
TARRUS RILEY - DEM A WATCH DAMIAN JUNIOR GONG MARLEY - GUNMAN WORLD BUSY SIGNAL - PERFECT IMPERFECTION VYBZ KARTEL FT RAGGA BEAR BUJU BANTON AND CECILE - NO ONE TIME POPCAAN - BADNESS BUSY SIGNAL - REAL TALK MAVADO DISS GYPTIAN - STUCK I OCTANE - GEET WEH

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Weve jumped out of our seats to her Make You Dance hit, filled dance floors on Full circle and forever with her music This is how we do it. The Tororo born queen of rap, Keko, took the male dominated rap game by storm with her eloquent speech when spitting hard hitting flows that gained her massive prominence which then led her into doing duets with Ugandas creme de la creme like Juliana Kanyomozi, Joanita Kawalya, Radio & weasal, Angela Katatumba and the list goes on. Before penning a record deal with Sony Music entertainment where she remains todate, Keko was first signed to a Ugandan record label, Talent Africa, through which her career sky rocketed catching the eye of the fans not just in Uganda but across the continent, Africa, and even overseas. Under her name are hits like Naughty (2013), Jodie(2012),In The Streets (2012), Make You Dance (2012), Akello (2011), Black (2011), Hey Hey (2011), How We Do It (2011), Alwoo Cry For Help (2011), In The Air (2011)Angella Katatumba ft. Keko, Shades (2011), Go Green (2011) Angella Katatumba ft. Keko, Hustlers Night (2010) Enygma ft. Keko, Navio & The Mith, Fallen Heroes (2010) Don MC ft. Keko, Davis, SP Omugunjule & Mwamba Childrens, Kwekunya (remix) (2010): Vampino ft. Keko,Cindy & Juliana. Known for her androgenous style, her critics have given her no rest but that has not held back her sweet voice like in her latest See ya hit that is getting massive airplay all over the place, and it is this consistency and creativity that she brings with her that has kept the fans always waiting for what her next move will be. Her music career has also got her nominated in top categories of music awards in Uganda and beyond borders some of which she has turned out winner and reading into the future, we see her doing a sweep of them all.

Birth name: Jocelyne Tracey Keko Date of Birth: 3 June 1987 Genre: Hip hop/Afro pop rap Labels: Sony Music Entertainment Manager: Rockstar4000

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Debate Why mother is better than father

I picked this title from one of those inconclusive debates that we had during our English language lessons in primary school. The eagerness with which we waited for this event that took place once a week was so enormous that on the D-day vile insults were exchanged and that was only when a fight was able to be stopped. Till today, it is still so rare to find a group of people all agreeing on the same things and more amazing, is how some individuals deal with dissenting opinions even worse than we did in primary school be it with a work related discussion at office or a simple soccer argument. For those that cannot read any further just go to the internet and search for fallacies. The dictionary definition of the word fallacy is a misconception resulting from incorrect reasoning. We are all bound to get into contestations and so we bring you a sample of tips you could carry with you as you get into debating mode. Learn vs. Win; not many will agree with this, but the major and only aim of debate is to learn from one another. When faced with a debating challenge do not do it the primary school way which went by the mantra We either win or they lose. Everyone has an opinion even about something we may not know about and it is justified for you to support your opinion, but later after an argument step back and go through what the other colleague was saying, it may turn out they had better reasoning or they were indirectly supporting you but you never got to realize in the heat of the moment. Personalities; this is a no go area when in the debating arena because while you are there it is only opinions and facts that matter, the rest of that stuff can be kept for the post-debate humor or it could be left for the politicians who always put it to the best use. Put more precisely, never attack a persons personality when arguing because doing that only takes advantage of your emotional side and poisons the most needed analytical side of you. Foul language; driving through town, you will not miss the sight of motorist or two throwing around obscenities like litter. The use of language that is considered offensive, obscene or taboo to an individual is not in the ethos for a good debater even for a motorist on the street in may feel like a quick fix but it does not actually solve any of the problems at hand. Listen if you want to be listened to; heckling is the act of talking/shouting to interrupt a speech with which you disagree. Please avoid this habit if you want to be taken seriously as a debater, instead hear what the other party has to say take down notes and counter it all later with well phrased questions or facts. Facts, Facts, Facts; never misuse that right to speak out by blurting out things you do not know about. Before going into debate, take time to do research and while debating make reference to your acquired knowledge. This is the reason why people like Andrew Snowden and Julianne Assange have picked global attention and more of a reason for you to always do your homework, just dont go around standing behind doors or stealing information from peoples computers. Shake hands; arguments will always set emotions flaring deep inside and this is just human nature based on the existence of a hormone called adrenaline in our bodies. So after such situations share a light moment with each other just to make sure there is no bad blood between you.

Books to read before you die

never attack a persons personality when arguing

Fallacies are defined as defects that weaken arguments. And here we present you a few but a lot more exist if you could bother and do your research. Hasty generalization This involves the making of assumptions about a whole group or range of cases based on a sample that is inadequate (usually because it is atypical or just too small). Stereotypes about people are a common example of the principle underlying hasty generalization. Example: My roommate said her philosophy class was hard, and the one Im in is hard, too. All philosophy classes must be hard! Two peoples experiences are, in this case, not enough on which to base a concrete conclusion. Missing the point In the following fallacy, the premises of an argument do support a particular conclusion and not the conclusion that the arguer actually comes to. Example: The seriousness of a punishment should match the seriousness of the crime. Right now, the punishment for drunk driving may simply be a fine. But drunk driving is a very serious crime that can kill innocent people. So the death penalty

So,what do fallacies look like?

should be the punishment for drunk driving. The argument actually supports several conclusions like that the punishment for drunk driving should be very serious but it doesnt support the claim that the death penalty, specifically, is warranted. Post hoc (also called false cause) This fallacy gets its name from the Latin phrase post hoc, ergo propter hoc, which translates as after this, therefore because of this. It is based on the assumption that because B comes after A, A caused B which sometimes is true for instance if I register for a class, and my name later appears on the roll, its true that the first event led to the other but sometimes two events that seem related in time arent really related as cause and event. Examples: President Otunnu raised taxes, and then the rate of violent crime went up. Otunnu is responsible for the rise in crime. The increase in taxes might or might not be one factor in the rising crime rates, but the argument hasnt shown us that one caused the other. Do further reading on this interesting topic and you could be on your way to becoming a good debater

Psycho-Cybernetics is a classic personal development(self help) book authored by Maxwell Maltz in 1960 and then published by non profit Psycho-Cybernetics Founation. Most of the past and current motivational speakers in the area of personal development, for example Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy and others got the foundation of their material based on Maxwells insights not excluding psychological techniques used in training of Olympic athletes and other sportsmen which are also grounded on the constructs in Psycho-Cybernetics. Maxwell Maltz as a cosmetic surgeon was amazed when, after he had performed some impressive reconstruction procedures, patients would still complain that they couldnt see the difference! I still feel ugly. He then recognized that, in addition to the external reconstruction work on his patients, a lot more needed to

be done on the inside, to the patients selfimage. The book defines the mindbody connection as the core in succeeding in attaining personal goals The self image is a mental picture that each human being has of himself or herself. It includes beliefs about either our abilities or deficiencies. Some of these beliefs may have been true at one time, but are no longer true. Until those beliefs are changed, our behavior will continue to be defined by those beliefs. For example, a person may have had a traumatic automobile accident when he or she was driving. He or she may be afraid to drive because of the selfimage as a bad driver. Until that self-image is dealt with, that person will continue to be limited by that belief. And this is where the book spells out a cognitive behavioral technique of teaching for assistance of those affected. Maltz in the book, sees human behavior as a negative feedback (cybernetic) system similar to the system used in torpedoes or guided missiles, where individuals also correct their behavior to reach their personal goals, including what their self image shows them about themselves. Maxwells concept sees the mind as a theater or a synthetic experience for example when there are three teams of basketball players. One team practices making free throws. The second

team doesnt practice. The third team sits on a bench and mentally practices making free throws. When the three teams are tested, the team that practiced out-scores the team that didnt practice. However, the team that mentally practiced performs nearly as well as the team that actually practiced. Maltz found that the power of selfaffirmation and mental visualisation if used appropriately, the connection between the mind and the body for pursuing goals could actually improve ones performance in all aspects of life. He specified techniques to develop a positive inner goal as a means of developing a positive outer goal. Thousands, possibly millions, of people around the world have benefited by putting these powerful ideas to work. The techniques he presents are universal for all situations that one is bound to encounter in life, and that there, is the reason why Psycho-Cybernetics should be on your must-read list this month. The ebook can be found online where free downloads exist but it also will not miss at the self help books section of your book store. Read it and you could be on the way of ridding yourself of that low self esteem and negativity that keeps slowing down all your efforts in life.

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Spiller

Sleeping around... Why the ladies succumb

Worst places to meet a Her

friends. Characteristic about this one or two hours is the prices of the drinks that are all cut low, so if she were there, it is either that she had a bad day or she is a wino. If dividing her attention between her drink and her girlfriends is already hard, then I dont know if there are any chances of you getting some talking time. But anyway, the loose type are also there, but the real male ego just does not settle for such. Counseling Centre; a place that people who have failed to figure out certain things in their lives go to with the faith of finding an expert that can help them through whatever it is that is not right, is not the right place to approach but also to meet a woman. Possibilities are that you could be facing the same problems or your problem could be just a quarter of her humongous troubles, now that is not a woman you will want, though with patience it could all sprout to something most probably friend

If virginity/sexual purity were a requirement of living for the Kiss, Command and Promise; anyone that went to mixed unmarried, 10% of middle aged (youth 18-32yrs) Ugandan school at some point played that game which involved two women would be alive but that is only metaphorical, because people agreeing on accepting to kiss whoever they were told they are still alive and dispensing sexual delight to the men to. The ladies play it a little more differently and maturely, who well talk about on another occasion. it involves daring a guy about something usually sexual and I write this as a moralist and a person who believes that sex- like J Cole says in one of his songs, at that moment everything ual desire is a natural trait each one of No money no love is the catch just feels so right and the darkness seems us bears but I think some of us have it in phrase for the ladies in Kampala so bright. gruesome amounts especially the ladies. today. Binge drinking; alcohol may sound like Sipping a drink with the boys each week does not go with- a thing the ladies may not like but they also succumb to a out one of them guiltily admitting how they got some and pint or two. But for what have been coined as house parties/ from the dozens of tales Ive heard from different friends of drink-ups the ladies go all the way competing with the guys both sexes I came with the reasons behind this occurrence of on how much one can consume. Sad thing about it is that the women letting loose so easily. ladies always lose and the intoxication arising from consumpThe peer influence factor; just like men share their sexual tion of large amounts of alcoholic beverage deludes them into tales openly amongst one another, the ladies do it too but their arousal and in such situations the nearest guy will look just way is way more graphic as a female friend told me every like that movie star she has a crush for and just like that pantsimple detail is told. This one chic slept with a guy just to ies are going off. try out a couple of crazy gymnastic positions that a friend had Social networks; the internet age has come with countless narrated of her enchanting encounter with some random guy technologies that are meant to ease the flow of information she met at a funeral. It even gets to the extent where friends like Whatsapp, Viber, Facebook the list goes on, and through stigmatize their groupies simply because they have their pri- that ladies have been swept off their feet by habits like orities set not until they get down with a guy. sexting , recording sex tapes, taking nude photos all for the Money magnet; No money no love is the catch phrase for sake of impressing these anonymous guys that they get to the ladies in Kampala today. About that fact being true is meet online, who most of the time are only in it for a quick some other days debate but when the women are showered fling that the ladies are quick to fall for. with the glamorous life they never thought they could ever Moral debauchery, adolescence, influence; I cannot quite have, they also get that feeling that they should offer a token put my finger on what is really responsible for all this, it is in return and just like that things get to the freaky side. But just the personal will that one has but if you really cannot calling it glamorous sounds like an exaggeration, like a cam- avoid it, use condoms and once in a while drop by the health pus lady once openly confessed If he takes me to the Konsh- Centre for an HIV or STD test just to be sure youre not on ens show, Ill give all that he asks me for. added time.
How to avoid it; Move along with a friend when going to meet a guy she could help restrain you from the deed. Be sincere and tell him why your not into it just for the pleasure and avoid being so rude. Watch the content you put out about yourself on social media. Limit the time you spend on social networks. Ask before you try out something new like a hard drink. Do a personal self evaluation and try to be as real as you can. Through online relationships, some ladies have ended up in one night stands

Every male creature bears the animalistic tendencies of ambition and perseverance and this is not devoid in humans. And so, every opportunity that can be pounced on will promptly be used by every man to prove his alpha male prowess and this is especially triggered by the presence of people of the opposite sex, I do not know about the transsexuals. But despite the fact that your burning male ego is always seeking the opportunity to flash its paws, there are some places where you should exercise restraint, and by this I mean those places and occasions where you would rather save yourself the pain of rejection or the trouble of meeting a lady that could turn out to be the monster in your life. And here they are; A university riot; those that were once there know it as well as those that are there now that riots at university were the fortune of every one that wanted to display their naughty and rowdy side. On such occasions reputation had to be sent on a

Where you meet her may determine your compatibilityforced leave to give enough room

for worst behavior, and the possibility that your advances on a chic will be fruitful are so microscopic, but if luck were on your side then Im afraid you would have to deal with her ruffian conduct that is even if you ever get to see her

again. Happy hour; this promotional strategy that has been taken on by all bars affects all those that want to have a good drink for themselves with may be a couple of

zoning. Taxi; most men never hold back at any chance to spew their artistry in wooing and most women hardly drop a chance that could pile up some attention towards them. The contrast between the two is the reason you should never make a move in a taxi. Though it has worked out for some, majority still feel the embarrassment that they got after triggering an outburst with them on the receiving end. Concerts; I do not know much about women but one thing that is true, is that they love their bodies and will protect them at any peril including swooshing a handbag in your face for touching their backside. So when she gives up all her pride to stand in a congested crowd at a Konshens concert, then she is surely there for Konshens and not you.

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From our bloggespondents

Hail the King in yellow

With time, the relevance of the youth in Uganda will cease to exist if it already hasnt; this premised by the salutation his majesty the old man in a hat received at Kololo last week despite all the undelivered (empty) promises and shattered dreams, should not be a reason for us to fight one another but a means to collectively decipher this conundrum. Juxtaposed with the stories in the Old Testament where all subjects worked to receive the kings favor and clemency, a lot of similarities with the status quo cannot be missed. Truth be told, majority of the youth at Kololo were just interested in a quick dime or a fix in some office perhaps in the state security agencies. But in similarity still, a subject that annoyed his king was promptly sent to the dark dungeons if not decapitated before the other loyalists. Fast forward to date, individuals with contrary opinions are all branded opposition and I need not to tell you what happens after all it goes on in broad day light. All this clearly shows that we are being used as stepping stones for others success; like one of my favorite journalists says, it must be an IQ problem we are facing for the same things to be done to us over and over again and each time we keep taking the bait. But that is not the point; the youth are facing a generational problem much bigger than these doyens trickery. Our fore fathers only catered for their children till some age and then let them go after setting for them a suitable foundation which has been today replaced with parents dribbling all through and even scoring the goal for us; picture this: a parent offers the care and love, covers school dues till university, secures you a job by talking to a few friends here and there and at this extent, soon theyll be getting us wives. That there has only left the youth in a laisses faire world never thinking past their next whatsapp message about how their previous night out was a blast. Perhaps it was the level of government planning that led our parents and grandparents to have strong faith in civil service since most of them got into comfortable employment right after school. The problem is that things have changed, and truthfully, it is far easier to get kicked out of a job than it is to get one, but our minds have been hard wired by the people that brought us up to study hard and get a job and this is the fact behind the thousands of educated youth carrying boxes in foreigners companies and yet the uneducated son of the employer seals the business deals and does the planning simply because hes got the skills he acquired on the job that legions of graduates lack. For the rising youth unemployment and poverty, the government vantage point is that; as much money as can be found should be thrown at this monster hoping that it will serve as ransom to victory for all the frustrated youth which is just a kindergarten approach that will barely give any fruit. It is time for us to take the hard truth, the government only needs us to win elections, the parliament is a PR engine fueled by the nfunira mu wa traits so we should not expect much from there and this world owes nothing to no man so weve got to work ourselves out of the comfort zone by not only working hard but also by thinking smart. Education is only meant to spud our minds but the greatest onus is on us to continue that transformation and trash away all those archaic beliefs which is more of a personal decision because the government has no time to do that. And a caution to all those in positions of authority, this youth unemployment predicament if not tackled in the best ways available, a global youth uprising may be something we are soon to witness, unfortunately, that would serve none of our aspirations but when a rivers banks burst, the water takes any path it finds. Thats all folkstill next time

I didnt know she was a piece of meat

Her face was iced inch perfect to grace cosmopolitan magazine and when she spoke we never wanted her to stop till the old day said so. She stitched every word from her lips into our brains like china made sewing machines. She held her own in arguments like Mariah Carey holding the high notes dragging us to heaven with every parting of her lips. A thought of her was like visiting the corner for our dose of holy marijuana. Her blushes were like brushing lilies past your nose her five inch frame was built for the Oscars. She was awesomely sweet in her Prada and didnt need make up to look a cutie. When she passed the corner the dogs said nadda for she was the bench mark of pure. All lips locked into whistles celebrating this Christmas come early and the wind paid salute as it swarm back stroke through her hair. The book of Song of Songs in the bible was scripted off her like Nazi made type writers writing war codes. Her finger dipping in wine was like listening to a lullaby and her appearance at the bar had the effect of a pig a tornado. UN sober heads sobered up as everyone got a sip of this holy water and got a once in a lifetime baptism. Pointing as she sat on her own pedestal like a new Ferrari flying over our potholed roads. Many say she was the reason of the increased hiccups in the area and the reason why the number of crimes in the town had drastically fallen but the accidents were sky rocketing like gas prices. Her dresses always stayed on point like a desmalicity and she left our lower member standing erect like south Asian rice eating cobras. Her movements were never known to any of the members of the town as we viewed her appearance as a blessing. She was out of our league and we never bother to wonder what part of heaven our little angel always disembarked from. Was it on the early bus from behind the sun under the horizon? Did she come with the season for every time the money poured she seemed to frequent our humble abode more than usual? No amount of reason ever looked fat enough to feed this daunting mystery neither did we ever want to hurt her by prodding into who she was or best for in our hunger for more we somehow believed she would one day bring one of her sisters to town to get known to us her faithful followers. Then one day these boys who have gone to the white mans land and read their books and written down their knowledge on pieces of paper came and started planting steel metals in the town. They gave and taught everyone how to use this small black box to talk to people far away in the village. I remember talking to my mother and that man called it a phone. Days later they gave us a machine that looked like a television but unlike the TV. This machine you would tell it what you wanted and it would reply and its pictures never danced like for the TV. He called it a computer and it had answers for everything so I asked it the mysterious gal. Kaboom there she was all moaning away under the strength of a humongous black man. Initially we thought it was a fake then we asked again this time being as precise as a debt collector and the machine flooded the first page with only her results marked X-rated and she was having sex with nearly each of the men in the videos. The men who gave us the machine said she was a porn star who made money through having sex in front of a camera with other men. Thats how she was earning a living and mystery of her over us was solved from our small world.

semanare.wordpress.com

If time is money, then why are most idle people not rich

No situation is permanent, Bad black is now white

ojameanthony.wordpress.com

Jokes
Her texting is so poor that she insults me when she actually intends to say something else A united fan when asked what the opposite of Moyes is answered...More NOs!

Are you a blogger and you would like your articles to be featured in hyper magazine? Go ahead and mail us your articles on hypermaguganda@gmail.com and let your voice be heard NOTE: Content should be clean and long enough

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hyPER
URBAN YOUTH

Poetry

Lyrical Justice
Its funny when I say that Im better than your favorite and you dont believe it but your favorite does. The Incredible, TZ Got talent more gifted than a Christmas list Naughty by Nature They got money for war but they cant feed the poor Tupac Only one thing I ask of you haters, You cant diss a nigga if you got him on your playlist. J Cole I wont sugar coat it. Youd die from diabetes if these other niggas wrote it. Kendrick Lamar We are what we wear, We wear what we are. Macklemore

Unsung Hero

George the Poet

Idle and disorderly theyve baptized me, Yet I also found it here, so why criticize me. Quarter of my Life facing the blackboard Then at the job interview they count me as null boy, Read hard and get a job, is all I remember my mama telling me, Now by religion and tribe, the job givers are fully judging me. The illiterate billionaires skills must be the ones that I lack, But that puts my donkey years in school into the dark. Additional Nasser made degrees, could not set me free, Opted for army recruitment, but failed by decree. Dropped my last manual job because I could not handle, Cost me all of my savings when I tried to gamble. Three startups down the road, Life still hard as a rod, Three nights was on the low, by peacefully protesting I had broken the law. Would there be occupation if I pursued further education? Being a youth where I am from is in total misrepresentation.

Mail to a lost friend

But Ive been talkin to God for so Dear Money, long that if you look at my life, I How are you doing? I really miss you! Christmas never felt the same when I spent guess he talkin back. it without you. All is going amiss I feel like I am headed for an abyss, because you Kanye West
are the pillar on which I stood, but that was last year when you were still here. You left without telling me, is there anything that I did wrong? And with you, went the electricity, water and the DSTV. My life has become static even your cousin mobile money stop visiting. My bank manager is frequently calling me and asking about you, he says I can longer have an account with his bank if I aint got you. My girlfriend and best friends, I dont see them no more, if you are spreading rumors about me please let me know. Just so you know, I write this while walking to town, because the loan guys came asking for you and instead took my car, Oh money, why are taking this way too far, if I hurt you in any way, please forgive me. Meals have changed ever since you moved out on me, remember when you and I went to KFC, ever since then Ive never gone back to that place and I miss that chicken, please find it in your heart to have mercy on me. Looking forward to our reunion after I bribed the tax guys in order to boost my surviving business, Ill be happy to see you home because I can no longer be alone. Yours Faithfully, Broke guy

You should be mindful of a mastermind. Kendrick Lamar Shout out to wild world west every where we go we leave a world wide mess Jay Z I heard youre doing you, and you heard Im doing better. Lil Wayne Im findin the more I grow, the more yall seem to stay the same. Dont even know the rules but yet yall tryna play the game. J Cole

When poetry is talked about in Africa, images of frail old men with innumerable international academic qualifications under their names are what come to our mind, and that is a totally undisputed truth. But like my preferred definition of poetry says, it is the ability of using words in a way that appeals to the higher emotions, there is more to poetry than academics. And that is exactly what skillful 22 year old spoken word poet George Mpanga does each time that he gets behind a microphone or in front of a camera. Com-

ogy. From the age of 15, he rapped locally at youth clubs and other venues and this talent was as well backed by his then love for a type of rap music that was regarded as unclean, but he instead used his talent positively seeing as he had grown up in a part of north-west London where many of the youth turned to crime. While at university, he begun a practice of rapping without music, which practice helped polish up on his poetry skills that in 2011, he took his poems online via webcam from his universi-

bining poetry and rap, he delivers his poems about social and political issues with a smack of humour hence commanding an over half a million viewership audience on YouTube and Vimeo. Born and raised by immigrant parents in Stonebridge, northwest London, George attended primary school in the same area and later went on to join Queen Elizabeths School in Barnet where he excelled and then moved on to Kings College, Cambridge, a place where he studied Politics, Psychology and Sociol-

ty room, and from then on, he has got presence at a number live shows, he has won a 16,000 grant from Barclays and Channel 4 to deliver poetry workshops to young people in underprivileged areas, he also caught the attention of the BBC who recruited him to front their TV campaign for Radio Ones Hackney Weekend music festival, he performed at the Business Awards for Excellence and the EuroFinance Conference, he also did a season closer for Formula One. His biggest influence has been his own background though he also draws in-

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spiration from rap legends Nas, Tupac Shakur and Marshall Mathers (Eminem). Back to Uganda, the attention that he has got for his achievements is limited to the few of his fans that follow his work via the internet and yet such a icon could be a mentor for the youth down here who are quickly getting consumed by despondency about a brighter future, perhaps we are waiting for that moment of glory to accord him the necessary significance in society just like we have done for people like Stephen Kiprotich, Kassim Ouma, Boniface Kiprop the list goes on. If you are really interested in knowing more about George or want to get a first-hand taste of his poems just go online and you will not fail because yours truly is an ardent fan and follower, so better believe me when I say so.

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Meet ThE HUmaN rESourCE mAnAger FroM UgAndA

Everyone that is working with or has ever been employed at one of those corporate type of companies has had a brush with that person who is in charge of company human resource matters only by the huge company car they drive and the tag they flash on their chests, but not by their conduct because on acquiring the position, they autocratically readjust their job description to include giving their colleagues hell and subjecting job seekers to psychotic torture. It was early on a Monday morning that our meeting which had been rescheduled over and over again was finally set to be. The calm feeling invoked by the kind receptionist that ushered me in all vanished the moment I opened his office door and was met by a rude hand gesture telling me to be a little more patient. But after waiting for another hour I was let into what would later turn out to be my torture chamber. For a meeting that was supposed to take place a month before that day, I least expected what can I do for you? to be the first question but the odds were against me, so I went on to tell him about myself but his memory made no connections until I reminded him of the numerous snubbed emails I had sent him to which he chuckled and later commented I thought that was one of those spam emails so I ignored it. While I tried so much to be at my best behavior and even expressed myself with the sort of English I seldom use, occasionally throwing in some technical lingo, it all felt like we were on different planets as this guy was preoccupied in a sleazy Facebook chat at least from what my elongated neck enabled me to see. The few moments where it seemed like I had his attention, that Whatsapp message tone went off like five times to which he quickly responded. I stayed steadfast on my ambition no matter whether the fact was that I was having a meeting with myself, but just then, God came to my rescue and there was a cut in his computer internet connection a thing that prompted a stress call to the IT guy that was spiced with a few insults, but I was not there to sympathize with others so I went on with my mission that was so far unsuccessful.

Satire

Relationships

ValENTiNes AnD lOVeWhaT EXIStED FiRSt?

tion was turned to the voluminous contents on the tray, too bad for me who had not had breakfast because guests were not entitled to company privileges he reminded me. I had no problem with that but where I found a lot of disgust was in how this devil of a man munched away on the sweet aroma emitting sausages like a dog, worse even he did it while giving me a pointless lecture on resume writing hence revealing the destroyed content in his mouthyuck!

Anxiously I waited for a question in my career path seeing from the keen look that he gave my academic documents but the next utterance from this guy crossed my red line further than Syria crossed that of the US, he went so tribal that I felt like walking of a high cliff at that moment but I could not find one so I stood up to walk out of his office, to which his rejoinder was a snobbish laugh that was followed by I was just testing youhave a seat. At this moment it felt like my blood had been put in a furnace of anger but then our meeting that felt worse than a beating came to an end with him telling me to come back the following week because I had come at the wrong hour and he had important issues to deal with (like Facebook chats with his missus.) The only fortunate thing is that this is just a fictional story, because in reality, I would have just sent that anger management I almost jumped in happiness out of my seat when he asked stuff out of the window followed by this guy! To all human me to present my resume because it finally felt like I was resource tormentors, please adjust on your behaviors. I stay making some headway, only for the tea girl to drop by, and anonymous because Im still searching for a job. the body on the swivel chair that was earlier facing my direc-

While everyone else painted the city with colors of love, I stayed laid back in my normal routine but with a mind burdened by backbreaking thoughts about this world of today that has made life feel like a music video, I mean nothing is real any more. I paused the question to one of my colleagues that was not left behind by the urban Valentines day wave of exhilaration, if Saint Valentines was not killed by King Claudius would there have ever been a day set aside specially for loved ones to show their appreciation for one another? to my surprise he even did not know how the day he coveted so much ever came to get the worldwide attention it regns on. It also reminds me of a question that I again put to someone during the Christmas season where I sought an explanation why family ties are mainly strengthened during that season, to which I was told that that it is when most people are free from work and all other commitments. But then I wondered where the free time miraculously comes from when there are burials and funerals during working days. Just like Christmas, Valentines is living up to be a very humongous day especially for those with loved ones. This small

restaurant that I occasionally visit was full to the sidewalk that I felt it necessary that a person like me that was not in the company of a female lover would have to excuse the love birds so that they could have some more wing flapping space. But why? After you going the extra mile to ostensibly impress your lover on this one day, what happens to other days in the year? I will not play dare-devil speculator, but the frequency of broken marriages and relationships in Kampala could give you a more graphic impression of what I am laboring to say. As a toddler, a Christmas day without stomach upsets arising from a change of meals both in quality and quantity was an ordinary day. I placed that against the many guys who borrowed cars to impress their dates on Valentines, then visited the most expensive restaurants and hotels to dine their lover which in most cases they had never visited, bought the hugest bouquet the kind that are given to visiting state officials and did all that their creativity invoked in order to leave a lasting impression. I see all this as an attempt in manipulating women to gain favor either after past dissonances or for the search of a night of pleasure that will be just for the pleasure and not the deep down affection. I would prefer we show this kind of love to one another each day of our lives to the greatest extent possible it may not even be material but it will be more assuring than a single day of playing Romeo and Juliet in a you cant afford that restaurant eating who knows meals, that is why I spent the greater part of my Valentines evening composing this article with a belief that may be this year the kind of person fit to share with me it that kind of love will come round because all I see is what one radio show host describes as situationships.

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Grammys in pics

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Plot spoiler
1. Ride Along $92.7 Million 3 Weeks

BOX OFFICE ROUNDUP

Grossings as at February 5th 2014
6. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit $38.9 Million 3 Weeks

While the rest get caught up in the previews we shall cruise fast into the future because that is what hyper is all about. So we shall be uncovering information about movies that are still in the works but which could be set to rock the world when released. Years after its release, I still so much devour the killer scenes from Transformers: Dark of the moon to the extent that I at times wish Seibertron and its inhabitants were beyond fictious. But that might soon come to an end after abbreviated extracts from the blockbusters latest part, Age of Extinction, which is set to be released on June 27th, 2014 were shown at the recently concluded Super Bowl, some expert marketing there. In the cast of part 4 of the movie that is based on the Transformers toy and comics, is a favorite of many, Mark Wahlberg playing Cade Yeager, alongside Nicola Peltz as Tessa Yeager, Jack Reyno as Shane, Li Bingbing as Sue Yueming and J.T Miller as Lucas. The director, Micheal Bay spilled some bits of info about the movie but also went further to show some footage to reporters during an interview and this is what we managed to get. Cade Yeager who is Bumblebees new owner, is a widower living with his teenage daughter, Nicola Peltz, who is secretly dating a race car driver, Jack Reynor. An accident occurs and Yeager is suddenly under scrutiny from both the government and also from alien bounty hunters. The director remained tight lipped about the

existence of Dinobots and the battle between the Autobots and Decepticons which has been a key feature in the prequels. If you are a car lover, then your eyes will have a fete with the worlds coolest and most exciting cars that also appear in the film, including Chinas vehicles. The producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has also revealed information about the total redesign of Optimus Prime and Bumblebee just to ensure that the movie gets a fresh feel. You should be ready for a Sci-fi sated treat, because a glimpse of some of the movie footage has an ocean liner levitating out of water something that most of you transformers freaks will be dying to see. Talk online of a leaked audio in which a weak voiced Optimus Prime bids fairwell to Cade and the autobots, hints that he either gets seriously damaged, if not killed, but that is not confirmed. With little so far known, speculations are still subject to doubt as not all will turn out true, but come June you may have to go through a scuffle to secure your seat for this highly anticipated movie, though going by the plot that sounds a little messy there may be legions of cynics doing their rounds out there.

2. Frozen $359.6 Million 11 Weeks

7. Labor Day $5.2 Million 1 Weeks

3. That Awkward Moment $8.7 Million 1 Week

8. American Hustle $133.5 Million 8 Weeks

4. The Nut Job $49.9 Million 3 Weeks

9. I, Frankenstein $14.7 Million 2 Weeks

5. Lone Survivor $104.8 Million 6 Weeks

10. The Wolf of Wall Street $103.9 Million 6 Weeks

SERIES TO CATCH

The Fourth Estate is a television series which depicts the clash between power and media that is going on in our world today. The twelve episodes whose plot is based on facts and events, show the many faces of politics and journalism with the main players being politicians and journalists. The story centers around a newspaper, which endeavours to work by pursuing its own rules for independent journalism in a society diseased by material dependencies which then causes a clash between the outside and the personal world of reporters who then have to choose between playing by the game rules or standing up against them. Dirty political games, journalistic resistance, espionage, discrediting sex affair evidence, racketeering and scam are genre approaches that will keep you at the edge of their seats with eyes glued to the screen to avoid missing out on the action. Starring; Atanass Atanassov, Hristo Shopov, Samuel Finzi

The fourth estate

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Sport

Sportpedia

Why all sports fans and supporters are sadists

Finish him!! would always be the words of the King directed to the stronger of two men that would be fighting to the death in an overly packed coliseum in Rome in about 75-80 AD. The crowd that was made up of royals and common citizens cheered wildly while guzzling alcohol, eating and merry making. Others directly taunted the fighter that was not in their favor because bets were also placed on who would win the fight or if put clearly, who would survive death. This was the very same sight at the Australian open mens final that saw an injured Rafeal Nadal lose to his overly fit opponent. At each of the short breaks, Nadals doctor optimistically administered some treatment that was characterized by him writhing in pain but that did not stop the affluent crowd life youre the player and at the same time the fan. Sports also helps explore that inner spirit that each of us has got which spills adrenaline all over our vessels making us feel we could achieve all that we want in life. Some might say it was a case of misfortune that he got injured but moving to the contact sports you clearly see the brutes hidden in we humans. I am an ardent rugby fan and I will tell you that besides when a try is made, the other moment that triggers a deafening roar from the crowd is when tackle between two players leaves one of them lying on the ground somewhere Fans flashes his dissatisfaction sorship deals between uncon- Others directly taunt- that he landed with equally scious and dead. In ed the fighter that on Tugumes large profits are involved soccer, the pundits was not in their favor head in a recent just like the cash collechave got all sorts of because bets were also fight almost get- tions that were made at the statistics like most placed on who would ting him a brain coliseum gates. brutal defender, win injury. That The kind of language used by is what we the fans love sports commentators will also and pay to see but I find no tell more about this, metad i f f e r e n c e phors like beaten, thrashed, out between us and the Roman muscled are used kings back then. We could all and this may not be cling on the excuse that we are relevant to this debate but it not the ones that sent them in clearly shows how we feel about there but if there was no single victory in sport. Funny thing supporter glued on their TV is that none of this can change screens or in the stands then now, because yours truly is also there would be never be a fight. sportsman and strong fan of it, Other similar contact sports but the rough side of it at times with such a large following are; teases my mind causing mixed boxing, wrestling, soccer and feelings, I do not know about American football and the sim- you. ilarity in all is the large amounts of sponfrom cheering on ecstatically roughest midfielder and so and even breaking into vic- many others, this is truly telltory dances and sharing of hugs ing of that side of sport that is when an overwhelmed Nadal vulnerable to all players but could take it no more. never affects the fans. The spirit of sportsmanship is Golola Moses, the renowned premised on the belief that one kickboxing PR guru and also should never give in to his op- praised for his solid kicks ponent and this takes a lot of and punches is a dear to the concentration and hard work sports fans in Uganda for his just like any other aspiration comical talk but also for that in life, difference is that in kilograms weight of a punch

Volleyball

The guys only know the sport for the very revealing female outfits that the ladies while on court and the basketballers cannot contain the envy that volleyballers actually have much greater spring power than them which fact there is more to. Volleyball, undeniably one of the worlds most popular sports, is a less contact sport that is played by two teams of six players on a court divided by a net that is raised six feet above the floor. The objective of the each team is to send the ball over the net in a way that the opposing team cannot be able to return the ball or prevent it from dropping on the ground on their side of the court. The ball is put in play by a serve played by the server over the net to the opponents side, who then have three hits to attempt to return the ball. When the receiving team makes a point, it gains the right to serve, and the players rotate one position clockwise and when the serving team makes a point, it wins the right to continue serving. The most interesting part for the spectators is the lethal combination invented by the Philippines of setting the ball for another player to spike it so hard to the other side that it cannot be returned. And this is where professionalism is shown in terms of proper covering of the court area and blocking the attacker in a game permits a total of 18 substitutions per game. A game of three rounds is played to 25 points and the team that wins the best two three rounds wins the match. Playing this game that was once called mintonette, helps to your cardio, flexibility, balance and coordination.

wear

that out of improve

Some Volleyball lingo:

Block: Defensive play by the player(s) in the front row who place their hands and arms above the net so that a spiked ball rebounds into the opponents court. Game Point: The last point in any game. Set: The overhead pass using the fingertips of an open hand Rotation: The shifting of players, clockwise, just before a new person serves. A t tack: An approach to the net, a vertical jump, and a forceful hit of the ball down onto the opponents court. Touch: When a player attempts to block the ball unsuccessfully and it continues onto their own side of the court. This does not count as one of the 3 hits allowed per side. Tip: Attempting to trick the defense by dumping the ball right over the net. Libero: A player that wears a different color jersey from the rest of the team that can enter the back row ONLY for any player throughout the game. This does not count against the teams substitution count.

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Sports gallery

Despite the poor results, United fans still believe Moyes is the right man Liverpool players celebrate infront of a disgruntled Schezny Koscielny and Wilshere puzzled by the scoreline

A dejected villa after featuring in a losing Atletico side

Smalling scoffs at a wasted opportunity during their loss to Stoke Togolese striker Adebayor has been firing on all cylinders Wawrinka celebrates his victory over an injured Nadal

Libya players cannot hold back their joy after winning the CHAN tournament

CHAN 2014 was not devoid of serious action

Thats all folks...weve tried our best Cranes thanking fans at CHAN 2014

Heathens Vs Kobs...the rugby rivalry lives on

Cranes skipper receives his man of the man accolade at CHAN 2014

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Lacklustre show by Ugandan cricketers who later disappeared

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