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Passive-Aggressive Pattern

Interpersonal Behavior Tries to please and fails Aggression comes out in indirect ways Sometimes agrees to do things for others and then doesnt follow through Often feels pressure to perform, and has expectation and fear of failure, procrastination Also passive-aggressively defeats his own inner critic, so cant discipline self Sometimes acts out annoying behavior while not consciously knowing its impact on others Group, Organizational, Community, Work Behavior !n case of people under the power of others, the passive-aggressive behavior can be planned consciously, e g employees stealing, being absent Motivation "ails in a way that indirectly expresses anger and defeats others in order to preserve autonomy in the only way he feels he can, because aggression is not allowed Core Issues #arm issues, punishment for aggression, shame $odeled after passive-aggressive parent Opposite reaction to violent parent Statement ! cant do it n!erlying "hought ! will fail in order to preserve my autonomy #istortions o$ Per%eption Sees self as cooperative Sees people who are controlling as assertive Sees people who are %udgmental as perceptive #imensions Involve! &ower, value &ealthy Capa%ities Blo%ke! Assertive, cooperative, self-valuing, responsible A%tivating Con!itions Situations where the persons performance will be %udged 'or he thinks so( Authority figures, powerful people #emographi%s )ommon with teenagers )ommon in people who are under others power

#istin%tions The victim pattern also involve failure and sometimes indirect anger, but the victim is trying to coerce others into caring for her, while the passive-aggressive is trying to indirectly achieve autonomy The victim blames others while the passive-aggressive blames herself The defiant pattern also involves a reaction to perceived domination, but the rebellion is direct The compliant pattern also tries to please others, but there is little unconscious resentment or it doesnt get acted out The insecure pattern can feel pressured to perform and an expectation of failure, but there is no unconscious need to fail to defeat others and not a lot of unconscious anger at others 'elate! Patterns The passive-aggressive pattern usually includes the insecure pattern )ontrolling is the opposite of passive-aggressive Assertive is the healthy goal for a passive-aggressive person A passive-aggressive person may need to become defiant for a while in the process of growth #ynami%s (ith Other Patterns an! Capa%ities &assive-aggressive people are often attracted to controlling people in a destructive way, and vice versa &assive-aggressive people often gets into serious conflicts with controlling people A passive-aggressive person often makes others very frustrated while feeling bad about himself for doing this #e will often not give his partner what she wants &o( to 'elate to Passive-aggressive People )ircumventing* +e cooperative ,ont be %udgmental, angry, controlling ,isconfirming* +e completely accepting of who they are &rotection* ,ont expect or want anything from them -sing Their Strength* &ut them in situations where they need to follow orders or please others #ealing response to a passive-aggressive person being assertive* +e cooperative $ake sure they have a positive experience in asserting themselves &o( to )*periment (ith &ealthy Behavior an! Attitu!e .ork on becoming aware of your underlying anger and resentment at being controlled .ork on becoming aware of your desire to defeat others or get back at them or annoy them .ork on becoming aware of your need to fail in order to accomplish the above two things .ork on allowing yourself to be %ust who you are, on feeling that you are O/ as you are, that youre sense of worth doesnt depend on other peoples opinions .ork on expressing your anger and standing up for yourself 0and everything listed under the compliant pattern1 &ealing )hoose people who dont pressure you to be a certain way or to perform, who accept you as you are )hoose people who appreciate your being yourself, who dont need to dominate or have their way, who can handle confrontation and anger &rotect yourself from being controlled or harmed or %udged ,ont take on people who are very powerful or %udgmental until you are strong enough )hoose people who will support you in becoming assertive

PS+C&O"&)'AP+ 'elate! "e%hni%al Con%epts $asochistic character in bioenergetics &assive-aggressive personality disorder Anal character Possi,le Symptoms ,epression "rans$eren%e Often feels pressured by the therapist to perform .ants to please consciously, but cant succeed Sometimes looks for the therapist to tell her what to do and them sabotages it !t is very dangerous to give passive-aggressive clients any homework or advice They usually forget about it or otherwise fail to do it successfully Often fail to progress in therapy in order to defeat therapist and preserve autonomy Countertrans$eren%e to(ar! Passive-aggressive Client "rustration and anger at inability to help and being defeated "eeling incompetent because cant help client 2! guess ! should refer him to a therapist who can help him 3 +eing too invested in clients making progress as measure of your worth as a therapist Countertrans$eren%e o$ Passive-aggressive "herapist "eeling performance pressure, especially as group leader or in public settings Group 'oles-Positions "rustrating identified patient "')A"M)." n!erstan!ing .ee!e! Awareness of need to defeat others by failing Awareness of hidden anger A%%ess /%ore issue0 #ow she was dominated, %udged, and punished for aggression A%%ess /healthy %apa%ity0 Aggression, anger )*perimenting Saying no directly, expressing anger at perceived control ,oing what person wants rather than trying to please others &ealing 'eponses Acceptance of person exactly as she is Support for her aggression 4espect for her disagreeing with and challenging others Inner &ealing )lient allowing herself to improve in the therapy and acknowledge this

Other Interventions +eing purposely provocative to get to clients unconscious anger ',angerous( &rescribing the symptom* Tell client to defeat you Therapeutic double bind Avoid suggestions and 5uestions -se empathy and interpretation Allow client to remain in impasse Potential Pro,lems "ailing to progress in therapy in order to defeat you -6 #elp bring this to awareness +ring out clients anger at you 7et go of your investment in the client making progress 8ust be with client Other group members become angry and frustrated with client -6 #elp them to see passive-aggressive pattern 9et them to stop trying to help in active ways

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