AND WHOEVER, AT THE END OF HIS LIFE, QUITS HIS BODY, REMEMBERING ME ALONE, AT ONCE ATTAINS MY NATURE, OF THIS

THERE IS NO DOUBT WHATEVER STATE OF BEING ONE REMEMBERS WHEN HE QUITS HIS BODY, O SON OF KUNTI, THAT STATE HE WILL ATTAIN WITHOUT FAIL. THEREFORE, ARJUNA, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS THINK OF ME IN THE FORM OF KRSNA AND AT THE SAME TIME CARRY OUT YOUR PRESCRIBED DUTY OF FIGHTING. WITH YOUR ACTIVITIES DEDICATED TO ME AND YOUR MIND AND INTELLIGENCE FIXED ON ME, YOU WILL ATTAIN ME WITHOUT DOUBT.

Urukrama dasa Brahmacari Memoirs

Compiled by Yamala Arjuna dasa

FOREWARD Devotees, who have not heard of Urukrama dasa Brahmacari of Vancouver Iskcon, may wonder why a book has been published about him. One may ask, What did he do that was so great? But, he wasnt even a sannyasi! by a quick glance at the contents of this book, one can see that Urukrama dasa had some kind of debilitating disease and died prematurely. So one may think, Oh, out of sentiment his friends have remembered him. But theres more to Urukrama dasas story than meets the superficial eye. By a thoughtful reading of these memoirs one will gradually deepen in appreciation for Urukrama dasa. Moreover, one will sense the deep message which his life and passing away holds for every living being. Urukrama dasas achievement was not a small one. For many years he lived in a crippled condition, and for a number of years he also knew for certain that his death was imminent. According to Vedic scriptures, almost all human beings lack the realization that theyre actually going to die. By a grand delusion (Maya) we think that it may never happen. In the Mahabharata, Yamaraja was asked by Maharaj Yudhistira , what is the most wonderful thing within this world? maharaja Yudhistira replied, Hundreds and thousands of living entities meet death at every moment but a foolish living being nonetheless thinks himself deathless and does not prepare for death. This is the most wonderful thing in the world. By the grace of Lord Krsna, the supreme personality of godhead, and his pure devotee His divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, we are able to understand these difficult facts, and live our lives in a way that will help us to transcend death, and transmigration in the material species. Devotees in the Krsna consciousness movement regularly gear of these teachings and many of us have memorized phrases like ante

narayan smriti; everything will be tested at the time of death. But just to recite these relevant Vedic passages is not proof in itself that we have passed the ultimate test. If we really think of this heavy subject, we are sometimes fearful. We wonder whether we will actually be able to remember Krsna at the time of deathor will we fall into a panic due to material attachment? If in fact, we have not learnt our lessons well and we remain attached to our bodies at the end, then this means we did not actually realize Krsna consciousness. This is stated in no uncertain terms by Narada Muni: Materialists are generally very attached to their present bodily comforts and to the bodily comforts they expect in the future. Therefore they are always absorbed in thoughts of their wives, children and wealth and are afraid of giving up their bodies, which are full of stool and urine. If a person engaged in Krishna consciousness, however, is also afraid of giving up his body, what is the use of his having labored to study the s'stras? It was simply a waste of time..(S.B 5.19.14) Urukrama prabhu proved that his practice of Krsna consciousness was not a waste of time. As you will read from the memoirs in this book, Urukrama remained cheerful even in the last months of his lifetime, was always surrounded by devotees and the holy name. He continued to take darsana of the Deities of Radha-Krsna daily, and he remained equipoise through the most difficult of all situations. He is therefore a genuine hero and role model for devotees and this also makes his example more accessible. According to the experts in spiritual science, these are all indications that Urukrama prabhu was completely successful in his human form of life: ante narayana smriti. Satasvarupa das Goswami

INTRODUCTION I first thought of compiling a book of memories of Urukrama prabhu just after the memorial service held for him at New Gokula, January 1st, 1990. There were so many nice remembrances by the devotees who did speak, but there were so many who did not get the opportunity to do so at that time. Also not everyone was able to attend. As we know, memories tend to fade with time, so while they are still fresh in our minds, I thoughts it best to capture them in order to paint a transcendental collage of this great souls glories. My hope was that by having this written form available, the example he gave us by his activities will remain ever fresh and a continual source of inspiration to carry on in our own devotional lives. I would like to thank all the devotees who gave their remembrances, for without their merciful contributions this book would not be possible. I am certain that there are others that I have missed, so please forgive me; we can always increase the ocean of transcendental bliss in another edition. Special thanks to Radhika Devi dasi, who kindly let us use her computer and generator to type the manuscript here at Saranagati Dhama, Special thanks to Partha prabhu, for his help with the final editing. Also, I would like to thank my good wife, Lilamrta devi dasi for helping me by transcribing the tapes and typing. All glories to His Divine Grace A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. All glories to the assembled vaisnavas. Begging for your mercy, Yamala Arjuna dasa.

HARE KRSNA HARE KRSNA KRSNA KRSNA HARE HARE HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

URUKRAMA DASA - An ISKCON Vancouver soldier

Urukrama dasa was born and raised in Turkey, where his father was a mullah. He was a soccer playing young man but now his body has become hopeless with multiple seterosis. The doctors say he has only a few years to live. When he first joined the temple he limped. Then he took to walking with a cane, and finally he became confined to a wheelchair. A few months ago he entered the hospital, and at that time he was not able to chant his rounds. Bhakta Patrick jokes with him, If you dont take these vitamins well send you to the psyche ward. Urukrama says that Patrick makes him laugh until he cant stop and that this laughter is extending his life. In his wheelchair on hari-nama, urukrama sometimes holds up books in both his hands. His main service now is to hear and chant. He cannot easily read. His speech is slightly muddy. When Urukrama first joined the temple he was well- known as an early morning japa chanter. It used to take him twenty minutes to hobble with his cane from the ashram to the temple for mangal arati, and everyone could hear his loud japa. For this he earned the nickname, General and Yamala Arjuna dasa wrote a poem about him: His shuffling feet, with his walking cane Calling out the holy names, The town crier for New Gokula, For those who whish to hear. And when he falls He takes it as Krsnas mercy Laughing all the way until he lands. Recently, while on one of his regular shopping outings (he still rides the sky train and goes out alone), he was returning down the steep hill along Royal Oak Road when his wheelchair overturned. Dyutidhara Swami had to go collect him, and in the meantime a rescue squad, ambulance, and police car had arrived. He has been trying to save money in order to go to Vrndavana. But now he says that wherever Krsna is that is Vrndavana. (An except from Lessons on The Road, by Satasvarupa das Goswami) Following is a rare poem written by Urukrama das wherein he shows his unflinching faith in guru and Krsna. What will I say, or what can I? The past and the modes are strong upon this useless body Its pullings and pushings are so much great

for it seems hardly a chance, but, to tolerate to continue on the battlefield of material turning into spiritual as Prabhupada says its a war against What can a weak soldier do? but the devotees and their association are strong and ultimately there is His Divine Grace! Let me pray, therefore, for the strength and courage with a little I have, Let me pray against the material odds so that somehow or other cling at your lotus Feet to carry on some insignificant way to never let go, for its the goal. Urukrama das Brahmacari

VIPRAMUKYA MAHARAJA In 1983 I was in New York and I received a letter from Urukrama das Brahmacari in Vancouver. He wrote that he had heard that prabhupada had asked me to preach in turkey and that his mother had some land that she was interested in donating to Iskcon in Istanbul. He was interested to know if I would investigate the feasibility of having this land turned over to iskcon. He mentioned in the letter that unfortunately, he was suffering from multiple seterosis and probably wouldnt live that much longer and he didnt think that he would he able to preach in turkey. But he was concerned that something happens with KC in that country. After receiving the letter, I telephoned him. I told him that I had been to turkey and in fact, I had been throw in jail by the Turkish authorities when I had gone there with a group of devotees in 1976. So he told me about his mother and gave me her address in Istanbul. I decided to fly to Istanbul from new work to investigate this. There I met his mother, who didnt speak any English, so I had to take along a translator, whom I got from the hotel I was staying in. unfortunately the land turned out to be not very suitable. As it had no direct access. And was in an industrial area. Also it was against the law for foreigners to own land in that country. So that was my first encounter with urukrama prabhu. After that I was always thinking about him because I had been to turkey and tried to preach there for sometime and I was glad to know that there was at least one Turkish devotee. There is more than that now, but I was also sad to know that he was very ill. I first came to Vancouver in December 1986. That is when I met urukrama. At that time he was already confined to a wheel chair. Even though he was ill, I could see that he was always fixed in KC. Several times I talked to him about preaching in turkey and other parts of the world. One of the things I was very impressed by about him was his determination to always come to the morning program in spite of his difficulties. Sometimes we see devotees make many excuses why they cant come to the temple. Urukrama certainly had all the justification for not coming to the temple. But in spite of

all material inconvenience every morning when it came time for bhagavatam class that door would open and in would roll urukrama. Without any fail he would come in circumambulate Tulasi Devi and attend the class. Of course over the years, from 1986-1989, every time I would come to visit it was evident that his health was deteriorating. But he was always attentive. Even in the last year. One time I told a story about prabhupada in the srimad bhagavatam class. He would be sitting off in the corner in his wheelchair. I said something moving about prabhupada about his greatness. His achievements and the mercy of his bringing KC to the west. He began to cry. He broke out crying right there in the class. At other times if you would say something funny in the class and hed be the first one to laugh. He had a very unusual way of laughing. He was always attentive, even though his body was gradually deteriorating. I was very impressed. Then I heard that urukrama was thinking of going to India to leave his body. I had a long talk with him. I said you know Urukrama, Krishna is taking everything away from you but you are very fortunate because prabhupada says that when krsna takes everything away from a devotee that devotee is more fortunate. It means that he is getting the mercy of the lord. You have nothing left in this world, nothing left at all. Krsna has taken everything away. The only thing you have left is Krsna and the hare krsna mantra. As I was speaking he just started weeping and weeping. Tears were rolling down his face. I actually became impressed that this was genuine spiritual emotion that he was feeling. I was experiencing first hand that he was actually getting some mercy from krsna m some deep realizations. That his love for the lord was awakening in his heart. You could see it .just talking about how krsna had taken everything away, he was crying in the way a materialist would when he had lost something, but crying in the way that how merciful krsna is being to me. Here he was confined to a wheelchair, he couldnt do anything not even eat by himself. It was just a few months before he passed away and he is crying at how merciful krsna is being to him. I was impressed. Although I went in there to preach to him I walked out of there feeling that Urukrama had preached to me. I felt that I had been purified just by going into his room. Still. He didnt take it that way, he took it that Vipramukha Maharaja is a sannyasi and he has come here to preach to me. He took it that it was a blessing of krsna. I took it that he had preached to me, by his example and hid attached to Krsna. Recently, I broke both my arms here at Saranagati, and I have been experiencing extreme difficulty of not being to bathe myself, or dress myself. I need people to help me, just to do the basic bodily functions. As this is going on I always meditate on Urukrama and hid determination to always make it for Bhagavatam class. I t has been very helpful for me because when you have two broken arms, it is very difficult to get to the temple. But remembering Urukrama has made me feel that no matter what I must go to the temple. Now later on, as I remember, he decided not to go to India and that he was going to stay with his mother. As I recall devotees were very concerned, especially Satsvarupa Maharaja that he not go home and stay with his mother. I went to talk to him about that

also. I concluded that Urukrama was not very much attached to his mother, But that he just didnt want to hurt anybody. He wanted everybody to be happy. He realized he was going to die, but he thought if I just die chanting Hare Krsna I will be alright. But at the same time he didnt want to upset his mother. I n scriptures it says: Vaisnavera Kriya mudra it is very difficult to understand the mind of a Vaisnavas. Urukrama was like that. I t was some times difficult to understand why he did things. Of why he acted the way he did, but actually especially in the last few years he became a very, very deep devotee. And I fee a pure devotee, because just when you would go to his room, and talk to him about Krsna or Prabhupada, would begin crying and what appears to my limited ability my understanding of the scriptures, to be on the platform of emotional ecstasy. So I felt that Krsna was giving him some mercy. His desire also he told me. I asked him what his desire was. He told me that he wanted to pass away in the association of devotees chanting Hare Krsna, and that was his only desire left. This desire Krsna fulfilled. Although Veda-vyasa and I were not fortunate enough to be here when he passed away, we were traveling in Los Angeles, just a few weeks prior to his passing we were here. Veda vyasa cleaned his room while he has in the hospital. When he came back we received him in his room. Veda vyasa was preaching to him, now is the time to give up everything, give up all your attachments; dont hold on to anything just surrender to krsna in your heart. It appears to me that he did that. His passing is very auspicious He passed during Kirtan, in association of devotees, according to his despite. He passed in that way. There fore it seems that Krsna fulfilled his desire. Also it says in the Vedic scriptures that if a person passes away and immediately after his passing if a brahmana enters the room that is an indication that that living entity went back to Godhead. I understand that that also happened. Two brahmanas entered that room just after he had passed away. To me, all indications are very auspicious, that Urukrama went back home back to Godhead. Of course, he was dedicated to the service of Srila Prabhupada and his Guru Maharaja, Satsvarupa maharaja. When Jayananda passed Prabhupada asked that we observe Jayananda disappearance day every year. Just as we observe the disappearance days of vaisnavas. Jayananda may have been more well known around the movement than Urukrama I have often thought that at least jeer, amongst the devotees in western Canada, they should have an observance every year for the disappearance of Urukrama prabhu. As far as I can see, he was a great soul that walked amongst us or wheeled amongst us in his wheel chair. Just not an ordinary person. I would just like to mention another pastime of Urukramas which is kind of humorous. He had a wheel chair with big wheels. He could go really fast in that wheel chair. One time I has coming up from Seattle, and I had just turned in Marine Drive. There was Urukrama, going done the middle of the road. Going the same direction as I am, in the middle of the lane I am in, going about twenty miles an hour in his wheel chair. He wouldnt go straight; he would kind of weave back and forth. In this way, he would go up and down the road. One time a police came with the complaint that he is riding on his wheel chair. The ultimately what happened is that once when he was coming down that very steephill on Royal Oak he had an accident. His wheel chair fell over. After that, they changed his wheel chair and gave him one with smaller wheels that could not go as fast. In an effort to slow him down. Even though confined to a wheel

chair, he was a very active fellow, right up to the point where he lost his coordination and couldnt go out by himself. I remember once asking him how his eyesight was, if he could see the deities when he went into the temple. He said that no, he could not see the deities any more, that when he looked at the altar it was just a blur, Hut he knew that they were there. He started talking about the deities and started crying and crying. At how merciful they were. Allowing him to come into the temple everyday. He was crying because he said he could see the deities any more and that made him cry. I know that there are some people who dont go see the Deities everyday. Here was Urukrama, who found not even see Then properly because this disease must have caused the muscles that cause e the eye to focus were failing, he would go in just to see a blur on the altar. But still he would go in and just sit before the deities. This was maybe two or three months before his passing away. The main thing that impressed me was his crying. Hit his crying was not the same as a person that was lamenting because of material loss. To me it appears that he was crying because of a attachment for Krsna and feeling how merciful Krsna was to allow him a chance to go back home back to godhead. If you would talk to him about this, he would just cry, with tears gushing out of his eyes. Yamala Arjuna: Some people thought that his crying was because of his MS that a person cant really cry like this they counted that past, as part of his disease. Vipramukha Maharaj: No. No. That is a materialistic way of looking at it. He was seeing that Krsna was taking everything away. There I have nothing else other than Krsna, and that thought would make him cry. We have to see not the disease, but the mentality. Not the body, but the mentality. Dont look at the external. Look at the interval. Sure he had disease, but what was in his heart? The condition of his heart. What made him cry? I t was the fact that Krsna had left him nothing but Krsna Himself in this world. How kind Krsna was. That is what made him cry. That is not a material thing you cannot attribute that to MS. You can only attribute that it the mercy of Krsna. We should be so fortunate to cry. In fact there is a song like that. When will my eyes be decorated with tears when I chant the holy name of the lord? So we see, here is a person, whose eyes are decorated with tears while chanting the holy name of the Lord, and then some of us think how could this be? But it is reality. I believe that Urukrama achieved that reality. Urukrama never lost his consciousness, his clearness of mind, right up to the end. The body deteriorated, but not his consciousness. Yamala Arjuna this book you are compiling is very good. I think it is very important for devotees. Sometimes we get caught up with the duties of life, we forget that life is so temporary and the real mission of life is to go back to godhead. I think that if we observe Urukrama dasa appearance, it will be spiritually helpful to the devotees here. In this way, Urukrama will continue to render service to the devotees, even though he has already left the body.

DYUTIDHARA MAHARAJA Urukrama was a very determined devotee. He had some kind of conviction about spiritual life that was partly due to the fact that his body was totally wrecked but he always struck me a person who was very serious about Krsna consciousness. He didnt have any side lines that he was into. He was a very straight-line Krsna conscious devotee and his example is more appreciated if you consider that you could be in the same sort of situation yourself one day. His determination is something that certainly struck me. He was a very determined person. He had definitely taken shelter of Krsna consciousness, there was no doubt in my mind. He would go to class there, and you could tell that certain things he was hearing were having a significant effect on him, by his response. His position is sort of unique for us as devotees because were mostly sort of somewhat young and we havent seen the old age generation start to demise, one after the other. Especially Urukrama though, because he had such a long, drawn out illness, so he was probably one of the first examples for us devotees to really witness the seriousness of leaving this material body behind. Urukrama is very inspiring actually. He is very inspiring, because he wasnt making choices any more. He had made his choice and it was obvious that he wasnt going to stay in this material world in that body. He wasnt dreaming of any cures or extensions. He was directly sober that his time was up to leave that body, and Krsna was the only escape vehicle that was going to be of any use in any future point in time. He was pretty detached from that body too. One time I saw him come down Royal Oak in his wheel chair, the thing started going so fast that his brakes wouldnt stop him and he went off the sidewalk and his wheel chair crashed over. He was pretty scraped up. You might say that he was like a ripe coconut. He was in there, but he didnt have the same connections as everybody else. He was in there, but he wasnt getting battered around by the thing, he was conscious inside that body, but he wasnt so much thinking that he was six feet tall, and so many pounds. He was a conscious being inside that body. Thats the way I saw him towards the end of his stay with us. Actually, one night Murari and I went to the hospital, about a week before he passed away. Urukrama was having a hard time breathing and a young orderly had to do some various things to help clear his throat. The orderly specified how Urukrama was a very unusual individual, how he was accepting the whole situation without frustration and anger. He could sense that it was because of his spiritual way of life that he was able to have that kind of soberness about the whole affair of leaving the body. Urukrama was preaching, even while he was laying in the hospital bed there. The orderly said that most people fight, they are fighting and they are full of anger and resentment because they are being taken away from everything. But he perceived in Urukrama that there was a calmness there. Of course, what to speak of Urukrama going on sankirtana, in his wheel chair, with his blue toes, due to his poor circulation. He would be down there wearing his big orange affro toque, in his automated joy-stick wheel chair with his Back to Godhead

magazines, trying to get people to take them. Im sure that it was fairly penetrating to see a person that dedicated, that he would be in a wheel chair like that, propagating his belief in his spiritual way of life. He was a determined person. I think that was the main thing that struck me with Urukrama. Going down there all by himself in the Sky Train. He was always eager to go out and preach. Or when devotees took him out, just to get him into the van was like pushing five hundred pounds up the ramp, and there would be hardly any room left in the van. That wheel chair was like an extension of Urukramas body. Urukrama was always engaged in devotional service as far as I could see. He liked to be regulated, and active in spiritual life. He used to like to honor prasadam he actually worshipped prasadam. It was a very important, transcendental part of his spiritual realization. I remember how he used to make tapes of the Srimad Bhagavatam classes. He would always come to the classes. He was actually a very exemplary brahmacari. He always appeared very effulgent. Even though his body was so weak and smashed, he was actually very radiant. He had a certain kind of transcendental vibration about him, irregardless of his physical incapacities. He had a very good track record. He always stayed engaged in devotional service. He never took a holiday, he always surrendered to his authorities. He would find some menial service and execute his duty, and he did his sadhana. Actually, he was a big preacher because of all those things. Im sure he was a very humble person, I dont really know him in a very intimate level, but Im sure he didnt consider himself to be anybody special or unique or unusual that he was just a recipient of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhus mercy and his Guru devas mercy. He was actually a very fine person. A very good qualities of a devotee. Im sure his spiritual master was very satisfied with his devotional service, and it was undoubtedly recognized by Krsna. He was actually very, very fortunate. Like Kunti was praying for calamities, and somehow, whether he was praying or not, he got them. There was one king Kulasekar who asked Krsna, please let me die while my youth is still here, so that while I still have my consciousness I will be able to meditate on you and leave this body. So Urukrama was like that because even though he was in a wrecked physical state, his consciousness was still very active. He had the great auspiciousness of leaving this world in the transcendental sanga of Lord Krsnas devotees, hearing the holy name, ecstatic kirtan. Actually, I dont think he could have accomplished any more in that Krsna conscious era of his lifetime. He had a very flawless position in his spiritual life. Very exemplary. His example is there for all of us. He took shelter of Krsna. Maybe it was partly Lord Krsna favouring him and creating a circumstance it seems like he didnt have any other choice. Regardless of how it was all arranged, or how it came about, he was properly situated and he took the Krsna conscious philosophy and he demonstrated it, so he gets all credit. Im sure that his future is very, very exalted.

DADHIHARTA DASA Out of all times that I was with Urukrama prabhu and I was with him a lot over his lifetime perhaps the pastimes that I really remember are from back in about 1978. Urukrama had been through some very troubled times as a young man, his M.S. had just started. We were still at the old temple on 16the Avenue when he started coming and we knew him as an eccentric person. When he talked to you he commanded your attention and you had to listen to his story. I remember once, I saw him coming up the street. I was chanting my japa and at the time I thought, Here comes Erdal. Im busy so I had better try to avoid him because I want to finish my rounds. I was walking around the temple chanting. At that time I saw him stop in the street. He was about a third of a block away and I could see that he had a camera and he was taking a picture of the temple. He did and just at that moment, I turned my back away from him because I didnt want to talk to him. Years later, I went with him to see his mother and we looked through family albums. There were pictures of his past in Turkey and in growing up as a young student. All of a sudden, out of nowhere there was this picture of our temple on 16th and Burrard. There I am in front of my office with my back turned. I had just done a U turn and was heading back. He didnt know of course, what was going on in my mind at the time. I was just another devotee in front of the temple. But there I was, caught in my act. Ive told him about it since then and we had a good laugh. I also remember when Urukrama was coming to clean the temple room here on Marine Drive. At that time the temple was in what is presently the brahmacari asrama. He would come regularly. He came one day and I remember this distinctly. We talked a little bit. I could tell when he was talking that he wasnt talking to me directly as a person. He was relating his inner struggle, his anguish at searching for the Lord. I just happened to be present there in the temple when he was expressing this anguish. He said he wanted to do more. He was sweeping and mopping the floor, but he wanted to start practicing spiritual life. I had the opportunity to give him a set of beads at that time. I could tell he was struggling and I had an extra set of japa beads. I gave him those beads at that time. I remember his struggle and his choice, his decision that he wanted to commit himself to the Lord. He actually stated it at that time. KRATU DASA Vancha kalpatarubhyas ca krpa-sindhubhya eva ca patitanam pavanebhyo vaisnavebhyo namo namah I am very fortunate to have this opportunity to give my memoirs of Urukrama prabhu, who was a very exalted vaisnava. I have known him since the beginning of hi Krsna consciousness, for at least ten years. When he joined he was walking with his cane, but as we all know, he gradually became worse. When he was in better health, he did a lot of sankirtana distributed a lot of Prabhupadas books and supported the temple. He was always very fond of hari-nama sankirtana and preaching with the devotees. He had his money disability pension that he gave for yoga centers, prasadam distribution, and festivals. He was very charitable and at the same time he was a very, very exalted pure

devotee of the Lord. Even when his health was deteriorated, when I saw him at the yoga center, he was always preaching to someone. Whenever there was hari-nama he would come and distribute books, talk to the people and chant Hare Krsna, even though it was very troublesome in his wheelchair, he always took that trouble for hari-nama. Sometimes he would even fall off his wheel chair, coming down Royal Oak, getting himself into big trouble in the sense that he would get bruises and cuts, but nevertheless he was a devotee who wanted to go on preaching. His health was so bad that if I was in that situation, I would have fainted or cried, or would have been always grouchy. Whenever I was around with him, I would always tease him or touch his feet. He was quite helpless in that situation, so when I did that he would give a big smile instead of getting angry. Sometimes I would treat him like a small child, and try to aggravate him and make him angry, but he would just give a big smile, and make me forget what I was trying to do to him. Rather he was transcendental and tolerant. He came every single day for class and greeting the Deities. One day in class he fell forwards, from the wheel chair onto the marble floor, and his whole forehead was bleeding. When we got him up from the floor, he was laughing. You can see how he was transcendental to the body. He has no conception of bodily miseries, he was a pretty transcendental personality. We took him to the hospital for stitches. He was so transcendental to his body. I also liked to wheel him around in the temple for greeting the Deities and offering of flowers at guru puja and he would tell me not to serve him, and that it wasnt necessary to do that. He didnt like to take service from another devotee who was not his regular assistant. In the last days also, when my mother was here she would often make pakoras. She would ask me take some to Urukrama so that he could enjoy them. He used to enjoy those hot pakoras very much. My mother was very fond of Urukrama. So much so, that she would always think of him throughout the day, and always try to supply some prasadam for him. My mother used to think that he would leave his body before her, and Urukrama was also thinking that he would leave before her. So he would always say, that when your mother goes to India, please send my ashes for placing in the Ganges or Yamuna. So Urukrama was also fond of my mother. Since she could not speak English, I would translate for her when they spoke together. He was a staunch devotee during his last days, he was hearing hari-nama, and we were chanting for him. When we would try to serve him he would try not to take it, thinking that I should not take service from vaisnavas. He was hearing and seeing the pictures of the Lord or his Deities, always surrounded by transcendental paraphernalia. He had no reservation of any kind, including giving money. As soon as money came, he spent it in the Lords service. His last little money he had his savings he gave to Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohan, and he wanted his wheel chair sold, and the money given for the Deities. Karmana manasa ghira. Anything he had to offer by action, by mind, by his body. He did that, he was that kind of bhakta, with single-minded devotion to Krsna and his guru.

I have nothing but regards for this pure soul, and I wish that somehow or other, that I can leave my body surrounded by vaisnavas, the holy name and kirtan. He really made it back to home back to Godhead, that I dont doubt, because he left in such surroundings. I have learned a lot from Urukramas life. It makes us very staunch devotees, in that we would never like to leave Krsna consciousness and Prabhupadas movement. By seeing Urukramas example we can get strength to go on in Krsna consciousness. Hope against hope that we can also go back to the spiritual world, because it is real, and by hearing these things we can become encouraged to carry on. TARAKANATHA DASA I was thinking about Urukramas passing away and how this was the most auspicious situation. Everything was very auspicious. The devotees were chanting twenty-four hours a day making sure that at that moment when he left his body the Holy Names would be heard. I know that when Srila Prabhupada left his body everyone was very struck at how wonderful the situation was. How this transcendental arrangement was made for the pure devotee leaving his body. But of course in our mind we can be thinking, well thats Srila Prabhupada hes a special person, hes a pure devotee, hes our spiritual master, hes way up there, and were way down here. But I think the wonderful thing about Urukramas leaving his body is that he showed us that is not impossible for us. I n the very short time that he was a devotee we must remember how many millions of years weve been in this material world that he was able to, in a few short years, take up the process of Krsna consciousness so fully. That one can come to that platform is very amazing. So it is not something that you can fake. Sometimes you can have a reputation as a great devotee and yo0ure not. Or you may be a better devotee than people think you are. But at the time of death you cant hide. You cant hide or you cant fake it any more. You see whats really there. I think that Urukrama prabhu has given us that. He has closed that gap between simply thinking of someone like Srila Prabhupada leaving his body and actually being able to see one of our god-brothers leave their body in the same auspicious way. This is very encouraging for all of us, that if we can apply ourselves as much as Urukrama prabhu did, we can get the same result. Of course, Urukrama in one way was very fortunate in that he had this affliction with his body. In this way he could see that there was no material enjoyment there. When we have a healthy body we have so much facility to engage in sense gratification. T is very easy to get caught up in maya and think oh, I have fifty years left, or thirty years left, I dont have to worry, death isnt coming right now. So this is actually a great benediction that he had. It is to his great credit because so many people are given these warning signs that death is coming, but very few of them take advantage of it. So Urukrama prabhu took advantage of the warning that Krsna was giving him, that death was there. By applying himself to Krsna consciousness he created a very auspicious situation for his leaving the body. Urukrama prabhu ki jai

JAYA GOVINDA DASA I remember the yoga center on Thurlow Street when it had just opened. There was a very attractive brahmachari with a huge smile who said his name was Erdal. I had already been a couple of times by then and knew that devotees drank a soup name dahl. He then told me that his name meant big step and then he lifted his leg high and chuckled. I found him to be a very warm and friendly devotee. Sensitive to you if you were suffering in any way. At that time he was cleaning the yoga center and washing dishes. I used to help him sometimes. I found him to be like a big brother. It wasnt that he was so expert at deep philosophical explanations but he was able to relieve ones anxieties and make you feel comfortable. I remember one time, I had just gotten a Lord Nrsimha deva pendant and I felt very attached to it so I had it on my neck beads. He told me that he also had one. He went to show it to me but it wasnt there. He said that Lord Nrsimha deva must have left him. Then he smiled and laughed. There was some detachment there and I found it refreshing. It made an impression on me. I remember going to the temple for the first time after visiting the yoga center. I went with a friend. At that time it was in the building that is now the brahmacari asrama. I was expecting to see a more temple-like structure so when we arrived at the property, we were not sure where to go. There were a few devotees wandering here and there but no one paid much attention to us. Then Urukrama came out of his apartment. He saw us right away and gave us a big smile. He came right over, made us feel very comfortable and showed us to the temple. Hari-nama was Urukramas number one activity. I remember as a new devotee that on the days we were going to go on hari-nama. He would get up in the morning and he would rub his hands together. He would have a big grin on his face and he would say, Were going on hari-nama today! At that time I still felt some reservation about going out in public, but seeing his enthusiasm for hari-nama helped me to feel the same way. I remember one time when I was still living in the West End. I was not living in the temple but was associating with devotees. I saw Urukrama walking along Denman Street with his cane, a big book bag, a shaved head with a cap on, a saffron kurta and regular pants. He was walking along distributing magazines and he had a huge grin on his face. He would approach everyone and whether they took a magazine or not he would still be smiling. I was thinking at that time that this devotee was quite amazing and that I would not be able to do what he was doing. Where I noticed that Urukrama had his most glow was when we would go on harinama. Especially in his later years. Once in particular, while I was distributing magazines, I looked over at the hari-nama party and he just stood out, very effulgent. I

was thinking that anyone would be attracted to Krsna consciousness by seeing a devotee like him. He was very meticulous in his devotional habits. Even when his body was breaking down more and it became a great austerity to do the simplest things. He would never neglect or be inattentive to details. His diet had to be different from the regular prasadam for devotees and he would prepare it himself. It was a great endeavour. I remember this especially at the East 11th yoga center. In the beginning he was able to stand up and use his cane, but even when he was confined to his wheel chair, he would take the vegetables and fruits to his room where he had his altar and Deities. After preparing them, every time, he would go through the trouble of going to get water before he made the offering. It would take fifteen or twenty minutes just to get the water. I always thought how even though it would be so easy for me to do that to go and get water would I have the same determination to do it every time, even with my good health? It was obvious that he wasnt only thinking of taking prasadam. It was a dedicated and devotional offering for the Lord that took a lot of austerity to perform. I remember my first Christmas marathon. Tulasi-ananda and I drove a van full of paraphernalia out to Edmonton. All the sankirtana devotees were there. I felt a little apprehensive about the whole thing I wasnt familiar with any of these devotees. I thought of them as very dedicated and austere but I was wondering who I would be teamed up with. By Krsnas mercy it was Urukrama. I dont think Ive ever had such a good time engaged in that particular service. We were going from town to town and it was a new experience for me. We had to stay in motels. Urukrama would most often go to rent the rooms. He would always get a discount. I was just his personality but he was so straight forward that if anyone had even a trace of piety they would always give him a special rate. Everything he did in Krsna consciousness he did with such enthusiasm. Even when we were selling paintings. We had a sort of competition. I had the advantage of physical strength over him but he had spiritual purity over me. Every time he would sell a painting and stretch it he would be in such ecstasy. He also liked to use red sticker price tags so that people would think they were getting a bargain. I recall the period when we had moved out of West Pender and hadnt moved into the yoga center on East 11th. We were still going out as often as possible on hari-nama. In order to take Urukrama with us we needed a van or truck to put his wheel chair in. We got the temple pick-up truck. We would put his wheel chair in the back and he would sit up in the cab. I was a funny sight to see. People would often take a second look at us. Whenever people would look at us, Urukrama would look at them with a big smile. Urukrama seemed to be able to relate to everyone. Whoever would come to the yoga center, he would engage them in some service. He was very gentle with gentle people, and very heavy with heavy people. Everyone appreciated him.

In his personal habits he was very clean. In the bhakta asrama I remember that his area was always very neat and orderly. He would always acquire nice pictures and nice tapes. If anyone showed any interest in any of his devotional paraphernalia he wouldnt think twice within a few days that devotee would receive them for a gift. He would also make copies of tapes for other devotees. He was simultaneously very attached to these items because they were devotional, but also very detached and would very easily give them away. He was also very truthful. He didnt try to deceive anyone. Tolerant. He was the epitome of tolerance. To remain determined to be a devotee particularly when his body deteriorated to the point where he needed constant service from others was an example of his tolerance. He was constantly hearing transcendental sound vibration. He wouldnt tolerate listening to anything that wasnt pure Krsna consciousness. First thing in the morning, he would put on a tape. He didnt speak prajalpa either. It was always something related to Krsna. On some occasions, if there was some mundane music he would become like a thunderbolt and stop it. Other times he was like a thunderbolt in dealing with people at the yoga center who were taking advantage of the devotees kindness and becoming offensive. One person in particular. I dont remember the details, but Urukrama actually charged at him in his wheel chair in high gear demanding that he immediately get out and that he couldnt come back in. Sure enough, that person got out. He was very conscientious about his devotional service. When I was a Bhakta we used to clean the temple room together. He was very meticulous. At that time, he walked with a limp and I can remember that it was a little difficult for him to offer his obeisances. But every time he came into the temple and every time he went out, he would offer obeisances. He would go out to get a cloth for cleaning, or a bucket of water and each time, going out and coming in the temple, he would offer obeisances. It impressed me and was a great teaching for me how to be conscientious of offering obeisances. He once revealed his mind to me. I was feeling despondent and he could detect that may be I was thinking of leaving. So he started to speak, telling me that he was always thinking of leaving. The reason was that because his body was so deteriorated he couldnt really do much service. He was feeling that he was just a burden on the temple and Prabhupada. He said that practically every day he thought of leaving because his body was so incapable of doing a lot of service. But he knew that was just maya, so he tried to overcome it by not leaving. This had a big influence of me. I had very profound realizations when Urukrama was getting very close to leaving his body. He was seemingly completely transcendental. You would walk into his room and the atmosphere was very sobering. He would acknowledge any devotee who would come in. Dadhi-harta would regularly announce the arrival of devotees and Urukrama would say, Jaaaiiii! You could see that he appreciated it. We started the kirtans at that time. I remember that when I was chanting I was thinking that this is actually a very vital time

in a devotees life. At any moment he can leave his body, so I had better be very conscientious about my chanting. I was trying to be very careful about my pronunciation of each word, in both my japa and kirtan. I would come in the mornings to chat japa with him. It was an interesting parallel because somehow by thinking like this, I started to consider that actually any moment can be critical. I realized that I should be chanting with this mood at every moment. With that same sincerity. From that point it seemed, I dont know if Urukrama gave me some special mercy, but from the point that he left his body it wasnt like I had a shocking experience, it was a very sobering experience but I felt that I have re-dedicated myself to trying to improve my sadhana, particularly my japa. This was the direct result of Urukramas final instruction. The devotees would be coming together and chanting. There was practically always kirtan. Prabhupadas tape was always there. His brother was also coming quite regularly at that time. He would come in and would want to stop the kirtan. We would be in so much anxiety what if he left his body? We were being reassured that it was alright. But after it happened a couple of times I gained an understanding that this was a pastime the whole situation was being controlled by Krsna. We were being put into anxiety, by this stopping of the kirtan, to increase our affection towards Urukrama. His brother was coming more and each time he would come his mood was becoming more and more respectful towards the devotees and the devotees were becoming more respectful towards him. We would be having nice kirtan then the situation would change. We would have to stop because his brother wanted to talk. We came to the understanding that it would be the best thing to give his brother time with Urukrama, so it went on like that. I personally saw it all as being controlled by Krsna. That the devotees would be put into anxiety just to enhance the situation. Then, right at the end, an hour prior to Urukramas leaving I had just left anticipating taking a short rest and coming back to carry on through the night. So I wasnt there at the final moment. Also probably by Krsnas arrangement. But interestingly enough, the devotees who were there were in formed that Urukrama left his body. My wife told me that he actually left his body through his mouth. Mother Madana Mohana Mohini said the same thing. Right after he left his body, two brahmanas walked in, which is a very auspicious sign. Navadvipa and Radha-Damodara. They had both informed their wives who were there, that if Urukrama was going to leave his body to please call them. My wife was also there but somehow or other she didnt think to call me. I just assumed that she would know to come and call me. I was a little bit regretful. I actually found it perplexing that the mothers seemed to be more attentive to his needs and the importance of the situation than the men who were there at the time. This was going on for a few days. I questioned my wife as to why that was. I just cant figure it out, unless it was just some plan by Krsna. Yamala Arjuna: It seems like they got some profound realiztion. All of them were stunned and it really affected their Krsna consciousness. I was talking to Mother Sri Rupa and she said she had never had anything so profound happen in her life. Realizations and soberness. Mother Madana Mohana Mohini told me the same thing.

Jaya Govinda: Yes, and my wife was also revealing the same feeling. Yamala Arjuna: It seemed Krsna was arranging for their purification, because they had never really had his association. Jaya Govinda: Yes, thats what I felt too. They had never had that opportunity because he was such a staunch brahmacari. But somehow or other, in this situation, the bodily conceptions just seemed to vanish. They were getting that opportunity. It was the mothers who were more desirous to have the kirtan going, they were pushing for the association. Particularly Mother Madana people coming to visit. We were all concerned and all conscientious, but she was very vocal about those things. Which is kind of amazing because she is very chaste I have never seen her so outspoken, but in this case she was very assertive in being attentive to Urukramas needs. Yamala Arjuna: It appears that Krsna arranged different things for different peoples purification by Urukramas passing like that. Things can be very deep and one cannot always understand them right away. I know that they definitely felt more sober and more unified by the experience. BHAKTA DASI I remember one Sunday feast, Urukrama was in the corner of the temple looking for some prasadam. He was always eager to take prasadam. So I noticed that and I asked him if he wanted me to feed him. He said, Yeaaaah. So I got a big plate and started to feed him. At one point he choked and the prasadam got all over my sari. We were laughing. I told him, You know Urukrama, Im sure that in our last life, I was your mother and you were my son. He really liked that and he actually started to cry. I was doing some work in the garden and I had to make a special path for him. Once I saw him fall right over in his chair. I ran over to help and yelled for someone else to come too. I couldnt move him by myself. When I picked him up his face bleeding but he just looked at me and laughed. I was so frightened for him but he was just laughing. Just before I went to India I went to his room and asked him if he would like me to bring him anything because I was going to Vrndavana. His eyes opened very wide. He asked for some tulasi or anything. One day I was in Vrndavana at Radha Kunda chanting japa. I started thinking of Urukrama and praying to Radha to please take this soul because he is so special. Just as I was thinking of Urukrama and what I could bring back to him, a small girl tapped me on the shoulder wanting to sell me some Radha Kunda beads and tilak. So I bought them for him and also brought him some water from Radha Kunda. He was wearing the beads when he left his body and the water was all he took for the last few days of his life. When we returned from India Urukrama was still with us. It was just one week before he left. I had also saved some maha-prasada from one of the temples on Govardhana Hill for him. Somehow when I returned I didnt get the chance to go right away to see him

because I had to deal with family affairs. But one night in my dream I heard very loudly, Urukrama, Urukrama! So I got up and thought I better take this over to him right away. So it was about nine o clock in the morning and I walked right into his room and showed him what I had brought him. Right away, he just said, Give it to me, give it to me. So he drank some Radha Kunda. We sat there listening to Prabhupada and chanting japa. When I looked at my watch it was six o clock! The whole day had gone just like that. It was amazing. On my way home I was thinking over the situation. I had gone there thinking I would read to him and give him some association. But he had turned it around and instead I was getting his association. The whole energy was so peaceful. He was the one who was giving. Everything was all right; things were the way they were supposed to be. That was my realization. Like my mothers passing away. She was also a devotee She received some of Prabhupadas association in Los Angeles. Just before she left her body we had a tape of Prabhupada chanting going for her. She asked us to speak very quietly because she wanted to listen to Prabhupada chanting. That is all she wanted. So thats how I see it. That is life, one should leave hearing the pure devotee. Prabhupada was very powerful in the lives of both of those two souls. I went to visit Urukrama about six hours before he left his body. I went by his bed and I had Radha Kunda. I said, Urukrama, its Bhakta dasi. He opened his eyes and acknowledged my presence. His fever was about 120 degrees. But his soul was so peaceful. I found that he was the one who gave to each of us, how everyone around him was learning, perhaps something that we were not ready for ourselves that he was doing. It was a very powerful experience. Not like anything material. Just like Hanuman said about my mothers passing away. That it is amazing how powerful Prabhupada is to change soul very much into Christianity, etc., that just by seeing him and having an exchange with Prabhupada, she was able to come to Krsna Consciousness. One day, my daughter Yamuna mayi came with me to see Urukrama. We sat at the foot of his bed, so we could see his face. When she looked at him she told me that she could see Prabhupada in his eyes. I am sure that he is dear to Prabhupada. I am sure he has a nice place in the spiritual world. I am just curious to know where he is. BRAD AND PAULA Urukrama was very dear to both Paula and I. We had the good fortune of meeting him when we first moved to Vancouver. We were looking for a new approach to vegetarianism and spiritual life. We came across the yoga center on West Ponder and were looking at the display in the window. There was a bookstand outside. I had picked up a BTG and was looking at a picture of baby Gopal. I thought it was very beautiful and so did Paula. As we were exclaiming the beauty of Gopal, Urukrama prabhu came out the door. He was very pleasant and he had a big smile on his face. I guess he could see that we were attracted so he was happy. He took the magazine from me and asked if I knew who the picture was of. I replied that I thought it was Krsna wasnt it? He took it one step beyond that he said that this was actually God. He very bluntly said that this was God.

Up until that time, even though I had previously read the Bhagavad Gita, I had never rally thought that Krsna was God. But right at that moment when Urukrama said that Krsna was God, it somehow made a great impression on my wife and I. We then went into the Yoga center and took and took prasadam. That was our first awakened association with devotees. At our first meeting with Urukrama he was still walking even without a cane. We held many discussions and had many conversations. But as the years went by his health deteriorated. The one thing that stands out in my mind is that he never complained. With his ailment I am sure he did suffer to a greater or lesser degree, but I never once remember him complaining about his difficulties in getting around. We all take it for granted. We just get around on our own tow legs. He was never in a state of depression or frustration about it. In fact I can remember times when I was depressed about my daily life when he was able to bring me out of that just by his devotional mood. Those are the main things that I can recollect in terms of him helping me. The first devotee who can give Krsna to you, who can open your heart up to Krishna, that is the mercy of the devotee. I feel that the mercy Urukrama gave to us is unique. Also, Paula and I, in our own endeavors to give Krsna consciousness to others have been able to touch the heart of one particular person. It just so happens that the day that Urukrama passed away was that boys birthday. I dont know if theres any significance to that, but to me it means a lot. Urukrama was the devotee who first gave Krsna to me and Ill never be able to forget him, just for that alone. By mercy we were able to give Krsna to someone else. Actually towards the end of Urukramas being with us I found it hard to approach him because of the state that he was in. It hurts. It hurts to know that on one level someone is responding to what youre saying but because of his condition you werent getting the response that you would expect. I am sure he was understanding clearly everything I was saying to him but it was hard to see him like that. I actually asked him that when he got back to the spiritual world, could he please put in a good word for Paula and I. He looked at me and a big smile came onto his face. Ill never forget that. He didnt speak but he said everything with his eyes, the way he looked. That was actually the last thing I ever said to him. Thank you for giving me this chance to speak a little about Urukrma prabhu. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

MADANA MOHANA DAS I was Urukrams sankirtana partner once. I had developed a boil on my kneecap and was finding it difficult to walk. Sometimes I would have to lean up against a wall. Urukrama saw this so he gave me his cane to use. He would always use it but that day he gave it to me. When I was walking around with a cane going door to door, I was realizing that the way that people relate to you is different. They kind of look down on

you a little. I automatically got that understanding, that it must be rather hard for Urukrama. It is hard enough to go around knocking on doors as it is but with a cane people looked down on you even more it seemed. Not all people, but some definitely took advantage and would be rude. Another time I remember was in Bombay. I had left Delhi and arrived in Bombay at around three o clock in the morning at the temple. I was about to come back to Canada so I had a lot of luggage; most of it was for the temple. The only person around was the guard at the gate. I got the guard to watch my luggage and I went into the guesthouse. No one was there either. All of a sudden the elevator came down and the doors opened up and there was Urukrama. So he invited me up to his room to stay with him. It was very nice. Yamala Arjuna: Usually if someone is sick they might not be inclined to just have someone else stay with them because they would be having treatments and a routine. But he was just seeing that it was mercy to have another devotee there with him, not that it was a burden. Madana Mohana: He definitely had a lot of patience. Sometimes people would say this about him or that about him or be impersonal towards him because of his condition. But he was very understanding and tolerant. Yamala Arjuna: That reminds me of the story about Jayananda in New York when the elevator door opened up and it was full of devotees. No one moved to make room for him but he just humbly sat and waited for it to come again. Someone should have made room for him, but he didnt take offense. Urukrama seemed to have that same humility and understanding. Madana Mohana: I really noticed it was because there was another devotee there with a similar problem. I could see that there were things that seemed to bother him. He was sometimes a little impatient but Urukrama had developed his tolerance and patience and was not disturbed by these things. . Of course Urukrama is quite well known for going down Royal Oak in his wheel chair. I remember once as I was going down the wheel chair was off to the side Urukrama was lying on the sidewalk. Two people were there already. I pulled over. Urukrama was just lying there with a big smile on his face and he said, Oh, hari bol prabhu! The other two people were in great anxiety, thinking they should call an ambulance. So I asked Urukrama if he was all right and he said he was. We put him back in his chair and he simply left us there, and dept going down the hill. He was definitely detached and he seemed to be enjoying the fact that the non-devotees were trying to help him out, knowing that they were doing some devotional service. I got that feeling.

VAIKUNTHA SUNDARI DASI I remember that I used to see Urukrama lot in downtown Vancouver. He would be by himself, in his wheel chair giving out magazines. I was very impressed. Especially one time, he was having some trouble with his eye it had an infection it looked very painful. But he was still out there preaching. His eye actually looked quite ghastly, but he didnt care in the least. So when I saw him he was preaching to some people and it seemed that they didnt care either, when they were talking to him. But it was so prominent; it appeared that he actually should be going to the emergency ward of the hospital. But there they were discussing spiritual matters. I would see him coming home from preaching, going down Royal Oak in his wheelchair, I remember one Christmas, Kalakantha was announcing how Urukrama had been going out eight hours a day despite his ill body. He certainly didnt stay home resting. Madana Mohan: Yes, I remember Kalakantha was congratulating the devotees for their efforts during the marathon. He said this devotee collected so much, this one did this. But he said the main devotee who sacrificed the most the most of all is Urukrama. Then he started telling what he had been doing. How he was going out. Explaining the effort involved. He was so touched by Urukramas surrender that he started to cry. Yamala Arjuna: Yes, and in December it is cold. He only had socks and those Birkinstock sandals. Madana Mohana: Definitely very surrendered. You can see that as his MS condition became more prominent he started getting very serious. He made a lot of advancement in that time. Otherwise, being physically unfit like that, most people would lie back in bed and take it easy. Vaikuntha Sundari: I remember that he liked the children a lot. He would always play with them. They would ride on his wheel chair with him or they would honk his horn. But he always paid attention to the little children. You could see that he thought there was a lot of hope for them that they were growing up as devotees. DEVA DEVA DASA One of the things I recall about my association with Urukrama was the way he used to drive. I used to complain about his driving quite a bit. Once in particular, on our way home form the yoga center, his body was sort of twitching and when it did he would swerve from one lane to the other. I would tell him that it would be nice if he would stay on one side of the road. I was terrified. I thought we were going to run into somebody. But he just said to me, Just chant Hare Krsna. I would tell him that I really didnt think that he should be driving. He always seemed to get us back to the temple all right but most of the time I would be terrified. It was a good opportunity to chat the Lords name

 you didnt have a great deal of choice. He actually thought his driving was okay and didnt see anything wrong with it at all. I dont think that at that time he was willing to accept the fact that he was coming down with something that was far worse than he realized at the time. I know from my own experience. Thats what I did in the early days when I started having lots of problems. I would try to reject the idea but slowly it comes up on you and you have no choice but to accept it. Another incident was from the time he was living in his apartment at the temple. I was in his room with him and a devotee came in addressing him as the General. After they left he asked me, Why do they keep calling me the General? I dont like that you know. I told him that they were not calling him the General out of spite or maliciousness, but they are remembering when you used to get up at three oclock and then at three-thirty, you would go around knocking on the doors saying, Three-thirty prabhus, time to get up for arotika. He didnt say much more about it, but I think he could see that it was out of affection that devotees did it. He was quite aloof from different things that happened, especially in the last couple of years. For instance, he would quite often tip over while going along to pick him up. I thought it was rather unusual at the time, but I realized that you would have to be pretty disassociated from the bodily platform to do that. I recognized the fact that Urukrama had something that I would like to have that was the kind of determination he had. That deep solid determination for things like going to the morning program and the evening program. I would like to be like him in that way. He used to have a lot of problems with his circulation especially in his feet. They would always be a kind of purple-blue color. But every time I used to look at his feet it did give me a kind of indication or remembrance of the Lord, because the color somehow reminded me of Krsna. I was concerned about the circulation, so I would take his feet and put them in fairly hot water until they turned red, which meant that the circulation had increased. He really liked that because then he would be able to feel his feet, whereas before he couldnt, they were just like lumps of lead attached to his body. I could sympathize with that because I have been through a lot of similar experiences. I would do that for a while, but then he would get into a sort of mood where he would say that we shouldnt cater to the body too much. Then I would stop. So then he would ask me to do something else, like bake him some whole wheat bread. I would also make him salads. Then again he would tell me not to pay too much attention to the body. We would go through these shifts. Then towards the end of my stay with him we had the stove taken out of the apartment. He wasnt so inclined any more he was getting more and more away from the bodily attachment. When you are with someone all the time, you can see them going through different stages.

Yamala Arjuna: I can remember Urukrama going on different diets but it seemed that after a while, he would always want to go back to the mahaprasadam and the regular prasadam that other devotees were taking. Deva deva: Yes, I also remember when I was first a bhakta, and Urukrama had just returned from Toronto. He wasnt walking with a cane but you could see that there was a problem there. Somehow we got quite attached to one another, right from the beginning. It was funny; every time there would be a feast we would always sit together. Out of all the devotees Ive ever experienced such ecstatic symptoms with especially when we were eating prasadam. It was almost as though we were becoming intoxicated. I must say that Urukrama encouraged me in ways that were not verbal, but that had a great effect on me. He told me something one time. Because I was very slow in getting initiated, he said to me, Im not going to die until you get initiated. I thought that was interesting so I told him, Well in that case, Im never going to get initiated. So he told me, Well in that case, Im never going to die. I did actually get initiated before he left. I went to him and said, Well, I guess youve heard the news. Im going to be initiated by Jagadish Maharaja. By this time, he could just barely make it out. It really took a lot of energy for him but you could see by the look on his face that one of the things he was looking forward to had come to pass. I was glad that I had pleased him in that way. I was initiated in August, he left in December. I dont really think that he stuck around just for that but it is interesting that it did occur like that. Yamala Arjuna: He had that much care and concern for you that he wanted to be alive in this body to appreciate your advancement. Deva deva: Another thing is that he had a very strong drive to be here at Sarangati. Yamala Arjuna: Yes, in our farm newsletter in the article, In Memory of a Saranagati Pioneer it says: In December 1985, when the original campaign to save the farm was mounted, Urukrama was the very first contributor. Unfortunately his body increasing disability due to M.S. prevented his more active involvement. Deva deva: He said to me often that he would like to come up and stay. I remember one time that Dyutidhara Maharaja told me that Urukrama was lying flat on his back. He couldnt even get out of his bed into his wheelchair and he was begging Dyutidhara Maharaja to take him to the farm. I dont think Ive missed anybody as much as I miss Urukrama. For some reason, he has a place in my heart. Actually, in the past when I have left the movement, I knew I could always come back either to the farm here, or to Urukrama, because he would need me to help take care of him. But it was really me who needed him.

SARVABHAUMA DASA The main pastime I remember with Urukrama is when he was my traveling sankirtana partner. My parents live up the coast and we stayed at their house for a few days. The

part of it which makes it a very memorable incident is that my father is a very atheistic type of personality. His declaration is that he will bow down to no man. So if you preach to him about guru and Krsna, hes says, I bow down to nobody or anything. Even though he is bowing down to the forces of time which are causing his body to become old and he is not as able to stand up as well as he used to hes bowing down anyway. So it was always very difficult for me to preach to him. If I would even start to mention anything about devotional service he would change the subject by ridiculing it or blaspheming it. So when Urukrama came there I introduced him as one of my friends from the temple. Right away they had a look of confusion on their faces and they asked, What was that name again? Urukrama could see their confusion, so he held up his had and said, Just call me Ed. So they liked that a lot. Urukrama made friends with them like that. Then later, after we had taken some prasadam, Urukrama was talking with my father. I was just amazed. They talked for hours. Urukrama preached to him the whole time, but it was in such a way, that it was just part of the friendly conversion. It was in such a way, that it was just part of the friendly conversation. It was actually for hours. I was really impressed. Here, after all these years Id been trying to mention just a little Krsna conscious philosophy, but my father wouldnt listen to even a word. I was actually so grateful that he was getting Krsnas mercy through Urukrama. All glories to Urukrama is what I was thinking. Nobody else had ever succeeded before. My parents both accepted him right away, in a very friendly manner. His nature was such that they had no doubts that he could be nothing but a good guy in their eyes. I still dont have too much success with my father, but at least I know that he got some mercy from Urukrama. That was quite an interesting trip because Urukramas disability was starting to reach a physical point where he was noticing himself that he couldnt do as much as before. We were selling candles and paintings, and he had to carry the box of candles with two hands. He was finding it difficult to keep his balance. He was always staggering and tripping on stairs. So we decided that I would sell the candles, and he would sell the paintings, so he could carry them under one arm and have less trouble. He had to deal with his mind quite a bit. He wasnt complaining but I could tell that he was not really happy as he wanted to be. He was feeling that he was unable to do a full quota of service up to what he was doing before. He felt that his body was holding him back in his service and he wasnt very happy about that. He was controlling his mind, but at the same time was not happy with his bodys condition. He was only unhappy because it was affecting his service, not because it was affecting his sense gratification. No like a materialistic person would be thinking that he wouldnt be able to go water-skiing or golfing. He never really said anything, but I could feel it. He would only say something like, I cant carry this very well. It was never out-and-out complaining. That was a standard characteristic. He never complained for himself, only if something was impeding his service. Never a selfish complaint. That was Urukrama. I think that even if you werent thinking that he was such a nice devotee or that he had some good qualities, just by being with him it would probably rub off if a person wasnt completely callous. He was very selfless, only living to fulfill the order of the

spiritual master. It was very rare. We will all miss his association. Hopefully only for a short time until we can catch up to him, wherever Krsnas got him serving now. Im sure its in a more advanced position since he seems to have taken all the suffering from the human body already. Im sure he wouldnt be going to a lower species, unless Krsna thought that he could deliver more multitudes of living entities than he did in this past life. All glories to Urukram. All glories to the devotees who loved Urukrama. All glories to his guru-maharaja, Satsvarupa das Gosvami.

YOGINATH DASA I thought about my relationship and experiences with Urukrama. Although it certainly wasnt a deeply involved relationship, I did have a particular viewpoint of Urukrama and his struggles which in one sense are unique. It may not be so appropriate in one sense, to include some of my memories in a book which is in honor or praise of him, but in putting the whole experience of Urukrama in perspective, form my point of view, I have to begin by recalling my first encounter with him. That was in 1978, when he first came to the temple in Vancouver. I was the bhakta leader at the time. My very first impression of this individual, Erdal Tamer, was that he was very clean, he was a pretty good-looking fellow, very sincere and humble, and from a bhakta leaders point of view, a potentially very good devotee. So I was impressed initially. Now at the same time, I worked hand in hand with our temple commander there at the Vancouver yatra, Tota Gopinath, who had a very demanding type of character. I remember the day that Urukrama shaved up. There was a project that all the bhaktas were working on. It was some renovating over in the householders apartment across the street form the temple. So Tota-Gopinath took Urukrama and a group of bhaktas over, and then after a little while he came back and he told me that this new bhakta, there must be something wrong with him; he must be on LSD or something. So I asked him to bring him over, and I asked him what the problem was. He had been crying, and he was somewhat emotional and distressed. It was very hard for me to determine what the problem was, but I did detect, that this was a sincere man, but something was amiss, but I couldnt determine what. That point that I am getting at is that later that day, or a few days later, there was some sort of confrontation between Bhakta Erdal and the temple commander. On one evening, he became so stressful, that the temple commander ordered that he would have to be kicked out of the temple. But Erdal didnt want to go. I dont exactly recall all of the incidents that led up to it. But Erdal didnt want to go. I dont exactly recall all of the incidents that led up to it. But I do recall that Tota-Gopinath said that we had to cut of this guys sikha. Because he was shaved up at the time. So he was fixed on this one point. Erdal didnt want to cut off his sikha. He didnt even want to leave the temple. He was attached to being a devotee. But this other individual insisted that he was not a suitable candidate to live in the temple. So when Erdal refused to cut off his sikha, Tota-Gopinath got some scissors and he said that he wouldnt do it

that he was going to do it, and he forcibly tried to do it and Erdal took off running. TotaGopinath took off running after him. Somehow, I was involved I dont know if I was running but I was one of the members of the pursuit. I was as much trying to stop TotaGopinath, as to catch Bhakta Erdal. It was a summer evening clear, warm everybody was out on their lawns. So they saw three Hare Krsnas running down the sidewalk, one chasing the other one, trying it was hard to determine what they were trying to do. I think at one point, I had given up the chase, but Tota-Gopinath related it to me later, that at one point he had tackled Bhakta Erdal, near some tennis courts where there was a lot of people, and had managed to cut off his sikha. Then the temple received a phone call maybe an hour or so later, that there had been one of our members down in front of their store in somewhat a bad state. They asked us to come and get him, but as it turned out, Erdal had to be hospitalized. A few days later, I received a phone call from the hospital and they asked me to bring his things. That was it as it turned out, Erdal had to be hospitalized. A few days later, I received a phone call form the hospital and they asked me to bring his things. That was it as far as I knew. I never heard anything more form him, he never phoned, nobody ever went and saw him, and that was it. So he had been a bhakta for a few days, and in some kind of bizarre encounter, ended up running away, getting tackled, getting his sikha cut off. So that was my first that was my first encounter. And then I put it in the back of my mind. If was a very brief thing there was bhakta for a few days, it was kind of a weird thing, and then he was hospitalized and then gone. That was it. So it was very surprising to me I forget how long, maybe three or four years later that I was in Edmonton at our sankirtana house there. We got a phone call from Vancouver that they were going to send a new bhakta out who was going to join our sankirtana party. Somebody named Bhakta Erdal. So I thought that rings a bell, that it was a coincidence. Such an unusual name, that we used to have a bhakta by that name. For some reason I remembered his last name, and I said, Erdal Tamer? Almost as a joke, inquiring, but the devotee didnt know. Anyway, he came out, and it was the same person. I could hardly believe it. So then I phoned Vancouver and asked them if they realized that this is the same guy who. Then I was told, either by someone in Vancouver possibly by Urukrama himself that the emotional distress that he was experiencing at that time when he first came was due to the fact that he was experiencing at that time when he first came was due to the fact that he had just discovered his disease, and that it was such an emotional adjustment for him to make, that he was going through a lot of internal changes. In fact the disease itself was somehow influencing his whole behaviour and his thinking, and hed had to have some kind of operation even then. So I was surprised that this person, so many years later seemingly from nowhere has never given up his desire to become Krsnas devotee. Despite that experience for which many people would have been a most unpleasant initial encounter with the temple, where he was disgraced, humiliated and rejected by the devotees and yet he was back and without any trace of resentment on his part. He was back and ready to serve. Basically that was my observation of Urukrama.

From there, when he went out on sankirtana, it was an inspiration for anybody who thought about it. You could see that it was hard for him. Of course that was the one feature of his character that is most admired, that despite the fact that it was so hard he continued. I have a particular memory of him carrying his candle box. Those candle boxes, the way they were constructed, when fully loaded were difficult things to manage, ever for a strong man in the best of health. But I remember him struggling so hard, just to carry this thing up and steps and stairs in the different apartment buildings and do door-to-door. Yet he would do it. I was extremely awkward, difficult and painful for him, but because that was the sankirtana, and that is what the devotees were doing, and he was being asked to do it, he did it. Looking back, it was such a impractical thing to expect him to do, and yet he continued to do it. In fact he wanted to do it. It wasnt until it became very apparent that it was impossible for him to even lift one of those things that he stopped doing it. That same determination persevered all the way, and we have to assume, even to the point when he was entirely incapacitated that same relentless de-termination to serve Krsna with every drop of energy was always manifest in his behaviour. This other memory I have of him of him is also rather candid type of thing, but to me anyway, shows the same kind of determination. I went to visit him one time in Vancouver. He had just had some kind of very severe turn for the worse and had been hospitalized. He was not capable of talking at that time. The motor functions of his mouth somehow couldnt work and he could only gesture. What he was doing, he asked for some cold water. Somehow he indicated that he needed some water. I was with another devotee, and he went and got it, and gave him the glass of water. So he immediately took the water a big cup of cold water and he poured it on his private parts. The nurse was familiar with this behaviour, this thing that he would do, but she didnt know why. I dont really remember how it was communicated to us, but we came to understand what he was doing he was so annoyed by the fact that he was dealing with all these female nurses. They would see his private parts, etc., for whatever the reason, perhaps they had to bathe him. But he wanted to douse the fire of any kind of lust that was within his heart or mind. It was like a practical gesture and also a token gesture on his part. In that one hundred percent incapacitated condition, it was apparent that within his mind, he was still striving for whatever standards of purity in Krsna consciousness that he could offer to Krsna from that position. I didnt have a long term relationship with Urukrama. My observations of him are mostly external. But without any reservation, I can honestly say that I came to admire him for his obviously very genuine determination to serve Krsna. VEDA-VYASA Urukrama and I practically joined the movement at the same time. He had lived in the temple before me but had then gone away, during which time I joined. So when I was a new bhakta, although he wasnt living in the temple, he used to come every day. He would wash the temple room. He was so simple. He would just do this service, not

talking to anyone, just do his service and then leave. I was washing pots myself, so I would see him come ever day like that. He was known as Bhakta Erdal. Eventually he moved into the bhakta asrama. From the very beginning, his motivation was always to give Krsna to others. He was dedicated to defending Krsnas philosophy. He wouldnt be able to tolerate people speaking against Krsna. For instance, there was one boy named Tim, who used to come to the temple and sometimes speak against Krsna. This one time, Urukrama was walking with his cane, and he attacked him for his talking against Krsna. There were other occasions during preaching at the yoga centers, where sometimes people would be somewhat obnoxious. I would always try to be polite with them, but if it got out of hand, I would simply wheel Urukrama to them and let him handle them. In this way, he was like a transcendental policeman. He was so strong in his convictions, that the people could either have to leave, or be more humble in their attitude. One specific pastime I remember was two years ago, during Christmas marathon. We were going out to distribute BTGs. Urukrama asked to take him with us. At that time, he was not able to move properly, or even speak properly. So, we took a long walked to the Sky Train station and then went downtown. That was his desire. We took him to Robson Street. He had a pile of magazines on his lap, and he was trying to hold them, one by one, trying to distribute them to the people. He was very weak, and it was very cold. Sometimes the magazines would drop off his lap. Whey they fell, people would pick them up off the ground, put them back on his lap, and put some money in his pocket. I was seeing this, because sometimes I was some distance away, also distributing magazines, and I would always look to see how Urukrama was doing. This is what I saw, I was very amazed. When we returned to the temple, I told this story to Kalakantha prabhu, our temple president at the time, and when he heard this he was so astonished, he started crying. Urukrama had a very strong determination. Whatever he wanted, he would just keep pushing until it would happen. Anyone who ever served him at the end, they could all attest to that, his remarkable determination. The other thing that stands out to me is how Urukrama would not waste time. Just like it says in the Nectar of Devotion, one symptom of a person who is making advancement is that they never waste time. Urukrama did not waste time. When we were living on East 11th yoga center, I lived in a room beside him for a few weeks. In the morning, a few times, I would watch him. He would wake up very early. He would immediately put a tape recorder on. His movements were always very calculated. He had to mover very slowly, but he was very deliberate. Although perhaps he could not do very many things, when he did do things, it appeared that he was very much trying to do them for Krsna and not waste time. Tat struck me. I actually do not have much time left, we do not know when we going to leave our body.

He was also known as the General. Indeed he was. Wherever he lived, he would be the first to rise, and then he would go and knock on everyones door to wake them. The new men, who were somewhat eager to stay in bed sometimes, could not maintain Urukramas complete dedication for attending mangala arotika. That was another favourite pastime of his, to wake people up, by all means. He would bang his cane, saying we have a nice mangala arotika to attend. You felt very comfortable staying in bed, if Urukrama was there. I miss him. It is rare to see such persons with such determination to attend mangala arotika and the temple program. There was no malice in him when he did this, he just wanted to make sure that others would use their human form of life properly, for trying to make spiritual advancement. He was a good example. Last October I took a trip to India, and I had not actually expected to see Urukrama when I returned. His health was not good at that time. But when I returned, there he was. So I felt I must do something for him. I went to his room, and did a maha-clean up for him. At that time, he was at the hospital, so I was hoping he would return, and his room would be nice and clean, and if he did leave his body there, it would return, and his room would be nice and clean, and if he did leave his body there, it would be a nicer atmosphere for him. (I also remember how Urukrama would always ask me to change his Gaura Nitai deities for him. I would bathe and dress Them for him, and after we would have a kirtan for Them.) After the room was cleaned, Valmiki and I went to see him at the hospital. Devotees were anxious for him to return to the temple, in case he left his body there in the hospital. So they had asked me to encourage him to return as soon as possible. When I saw him, I reminded him that Krsnas devotee never perishes. I told him that it didnt really matter where he was but what mattered was what he was thinking of. I told him that we could arrange for there to always be a tape playing for him, and in this way he could remember Krsna, if he left his body away from the devotees. It wasnt a surprising thing for us to mention that to him. So thats what I told him, and he was crying when I said that. He was making a loud noise too, because he knew that it was about time. A few days later, when we were visiting. I told him the story of Bilvaman-gala Thakura, how he was trying to see a prostitute and how he later poked his eyes out, and spent his time glorifying Krsna. When he was glorifying Krsna, the Lord Himself came to hear, but because he was blind, he could not see, so he was not aware of it. After Krsna had come for some time, listening to his poetry, sometimes asking him questions, Bilvamangala Thakura asked Him, Himself. So he tried to go and touch the Lords body, and Krsna was protesting perhaps he could not catch the Lord right now, that He could leave him now, but that He could not leave his heart. When I told this to Urukrama, he was crying so loudly. When we would talk about Krsna to Urukrama, he was fully conscious. His devotional service, his sentiment and direct affection for Krsna and His devotees was so wonderful, that just by watching his reactions, we ourselves would develop more attraction for these stories.

For myself, I fell that it was definitely purification to do some small service for Urukrama towards the end of his life because I felt I was getting cleansed by his association. Another thing about him, is that I was able to reveal my mind to him. Sometimes we would get together and I would just tell him how I was doing. Just like a friend. Sometimes I would be under him, sometimes he would be under me. I would tell him about sankirtana, how I felt weak in the face of the material energy, and he would speak some philosophical point that would give me strength to go back out again. I was confident that he would listen to me. Sometimes, I would tell him what was best for him, even though he already knew it. I would just do this for each of us to get better in our Krsna consciousness. I would tell him to preach, but really, he was the one taking me out to preach. I remember another time at East 11th, when someone had blasphemed Krsna. Urukramas anger was unbelievable. He would use the strongest language, but it was actually very funny. I was laughing so hard, that I was on the floor, I couldnt stay on my feet. He was in the mood of Lord Nrsimha deva I was enjoying his determination to drive this ignorance away. It reminded me of the way that Prabhupada would speak about Guru Maharaji, I will kick him with my boot, and let him stop me by his own power. Urukrama was fighter like this. He had a lot of conviction. He was a strong preacher, with undeviating conclusions and statements against material philosophy. It was comforting to see his determination. CAITANYA CHANDRA I had met devotees once Dyutidhara Maharaja and Yamala Arjuna on the blue bus and upon arriving in Vancouver and walking down town I heard that familiar chingching-ching coming from the cornner of Georgia and Granville. So I thought, let me go see the devotees. There were three there on the corner one of them whas in a wheelchair, with his hand stretched out, distributing magazines. I was in a challenging mood, so I thought, let me go pick onthat one in the wheelchair. I was looking for fight, I was actually broke at the timem but he gave me a hard-bound gita anyway. He told me I could come and pay for it at the yoga center when I got somemoney. So a couple of days later, I actually showd up and paid him for the book. He was amazed and very happy. Urukrama on hari-nama was a lways amazing. I remember when he gor his new wheel chair. We were going on a walking harinama doen towards Gastown. He was all fired up, it had 5 speeds. He would actually circumambulate the hari-nama party, because we were only going at a normal walking speed, but he could go much faster. He just raced around us, honking his horn. He was in bliss. Another thing was that he had all these stickers on the back of his wheelchair so people would read them. He had the Hare Krishna mantra, something about vegetarianism, and about not killing animals. He always was trying to give out the mercy.

Once Urukrama was sitting in one of the big soft chairs there on West Pender. Goloka Vrindavand had just finished taking prasadam and he was feeling frisky and was looking for someone to wrestle with. He looked at me but I was still a new guy at the temple so he couldnt do anything with me so he decided to jump on Urukrama and wrestle with him. Urukrama just gave it to him, and actually pinned him down. That was far out. I saw him offer aratika once. It was just sheer determination. He was still using the cane, and you could see that his balance was la little off. Just to ring the bell, blow the conchshell and offer aratika was very hard for him but he was determined to do it, and he did. The same thing on hari-nama. Determination. If he couldnt play the karatalas, he would give out books, if he couldnt do that, he would just sit there. He would ask devotees to put a couple of boxesof magazines on his wheelchair and carry them for the devotees. Or he would take devotees sweaters and coats. He was very much always trying to give some service, especially for the hari-nama. He was the alarm clock for the brahmacari ashrama. As long as he was bale to do so, he was always up and then getting everyone else up too, One could not question the fact that he was a real devotee, and that he was always trying to do anything he could to help some one else be a devotee. That was it.

JAYA KESAVA DASA I cant claim to know so much about Urukrama, and I wasnt there when he left his body, but what struck me about him was that when you came to see him, he would always take time out to recognise you and thank you for coming and giving him your association. He would appreciate whatever you could do to help him, I could imagine that if I was in his situation it would be hard. I wasnt like he had to do that. He was very personal and real. Advanced beyond my perception of things. He was kind and he liked to laugh. As I see it, he was very strong in tolerating all the inconveniences of his disease. JAYA GAURA CANDRA DASA The one thing that I can recall very clearly is from the time I was doing the boys ashrama with my wife that was between the years 1982 1985. Every morning around 3.30AM you could hear Urukrama coming from the brahmacari asrama. He was still walking then using his cane, and he would go all the way to the temple. It would take him a long time, and all the way, he would be chanting Jalpa in a very loud voice. It becasme pretty known that he was like the New Gokula alarm clock. It was very, very regular. Every morning I could hear it from my asrama, because I used to wake up the boys at 330Am. I would be up begore that chanting my Japa, and without fail Urukrama was there loud and clear. It took him atleast 20 minutes. It just became a known thing

around the community he would take so long to get to the temple due to his slow walking. He would wake up a lot of devotees around the community. Another thing that stands out in my mind, is his great eagerness to take the mercy. Despite bodily illness, he r3egualrly attended temple functions and wnet on hari-nama or distributing books. He was a very, very good example for everyone. He awas not only a preacher by passing out books, but he was also preaching by his strict sadhana. Sometimes many of us experience Oh my body is feeling sick today, I have this problem but he is the most beautiful example to inspire everybosy to carry on. I didnt have any service that I really did with him, but I know that every time I went on hari-nama, he was always there in his wheelchair with his big smile. Ther are some verses explaining the real preacher. About how some people may preach nicely, but their behaviour is not proper, while others actions are exemplaray but they do not preach. I have often heard this used to describe Srila Prabhupada, but I feel it alse applies to Urukrama. He was not only a good preacher who was enlivened and enthused to give Krsna to others, but his behaviour was definitely exemplary. It was very enthusing to me. It is hard to use the excuse that you cant go to the temple because you are sick, when you remember his determination to attend spiritual programs, right up to his last days. VRAJANANDA DASA Whenever I remember Urukrama I always feel ecstatic symptoms, because he was an ocean of auspicious qualitis. I want blessed to have his association all that much due to my offensive mentality. I am so much on the bodily platform that I was judging him by his outward appearance. Now I can understand that it was a test by Krsna for all of us not to judge by outward appearances, but to try to see what is in someones heart. Krsna is firmly seated in Urukramas heart that I believe now. I didnt have too many pastimes with him, but when I did have association he always related to me in a very Krishna conscious way, and with proper Vashnava etiquette. The quality that comes to mind when I thing of him is his humility. It was very natural for him, he wasnt forcing himself to be like that. The proof was theat ehwn he was put in so many awkward situations, he would always come out shining and on top. I can relate one instance when we were going out preaching from the yoga center on East 11th Ave. I had offered to push his wheelchair around from the back of the building to the front, where the van was waiting. Coming from the back, we had to go up quite a steep sort of bumpy hill. It was raining out that day. It was the first time that I had pushed anyone in a wheelchair up a bumpy hill. I was also feeling frivolous and was joking around, pretending like I was in a racing car. Well, because I wasnt Krishna conscious enough in taking care of Krishnas devotee, I hit a strange bump and over went the wheelchair. Urukrama just started chanting a lot louder, and fell on the pathway. To make matters worse, ther was a lot of water running off the roof that was pouring right on Urukramas head. Now, you might have known, but Urukrama was no lightweight devotee. He must have been 200lb mark. When I came around to lift him up, I couldnt move him so easily, so I had to get some help. Boy, was I embarrased. I felt bad. He took

no offense. Not one foul word or mean look, just a humble soul comppletely at krsnas mercy and willing to accept whatever situation the Lord put him in. MAHAMANTRA DASA Some of the seetest memories I have of Urukrama are when we were staying at the yoga center there at East 11th. There were two rooms, that were joined together, and he was staying at one end, and I was at the other. He had his oen spiritual atmosphere, and I remember that every time I would walk through his room, it felt like a sannyasis quarters because it was very purifying. The atmosphere was very transcendental and pure. Sometime at the yoga center, because we didnt always give him much association as he wanted, and because it was frustrating for him, he wanted to do everything that were doing and he couldnt. So sometimes he would complain and accuse us that we were impersonalists. I remember one morning, we got him to give class in the yoga center, in his kind-ofbroke voice. I was pure nectar. It was just one of the nicest classes Ive ever heard, coming from any devotee. I was so inspired, and I remember thinking that he should give class everyday. He had very deep realizations. I remember how I had been away travelling at one time, and when I returned I learned that Urukrama had been going out by himself on the sky train, to go downtown preaching. One time I rode with him, just to see what it would be like. He was preaching all the time. All the people around him were just amazed to see this person. He was dressed in saffron, tilak and sitting on his wheel chair, and people would be noticing him. A lot of times he would be preaching to people, and in this way Krsna would send people to him, in order for him to be able to get preaching oppurtunites. But on this day coming home, going down the hill, he fell over and smashed his head on the sidewalk. I just lifted him up, and all he said was, Yeah, yeah, I fell off my wheelchair. It didnt seem to phase him. Sometimes before he was in the wheelchair, he would try to walk, and when he would fall down, he would just lie on the floor until someone came into his room. When we did, we didnt know how long he had been there, but he would always be laughing. About 6 months ago, when I came back from India the last time, I went to see Urukrama, and it seemed like in that period of his gradually getting weaker and weaker, he had this incredible phenomena of being very emotional and crying a lot. He would start to cry and display these incredible symptoms, which seemed to be like ral spiritual ecstasy. I dont know, but it was very inspiring for me to see that. In the last year of so, whenever I was here, I would try to go in and read to him as much as I could, at least half an hour a day. I would come in and ask him if he was ready to do some reading now. He would always say Yes, yes, yes, read. Whenever I could read for sometime, he would say, More, More. He would always want to go on hearing more and more.

I was in Seatle when Urukrama left his body. Madana Mohana Mohini phoned me up and told me what it was like to be withg him at the time of his passing. I was completely inspired to hear that and I actually felt that urukrama has taught us all what it means to live a spiritual life and to perfecty it at the end in the way that he left this world. I really feel like he has made the spiritueal world more accessible, at least in my mind, because he was here with us one day, and now hes gone. But in one sense theres not that much distance separating us if we just stay absorbed engaging in devotional service, as he was and just think that he did it. He seemed to somhow make it more easy anyway. Im really grateful to him for associating with us. Sriman Urukrama dasa prabhu ki jai!

AJIT DASA One day we went to the yoga center on east 11th and urukrama was sitting in his room. As soon as he was me he started to come out he was very warm and friendly. I was feeling very hungry and had come to the temple for some prasadam. I had just arrived in Canada, and was living outside the temple. So urukrama when he came out he was looking for something to offer me. He saw some devotees taking prasadam so he called at them very loudly What are you doing? The guests come here and you dont offer any prasadam to them? I hadnt asked him for any prasadam but it must have been supersoul he sensed that is what I really wanted. So he got the devotees to bring me some. I was actually very very hungry and I reallu appreciated him for that. The other devotees felt afterwards and they went to urukrama to apologize and offer their obeisances. They were new bhaktas and had not realized proper behaviour yet. For a few months I used to make raw vegetarian food for him. His vision was bothering him. One day he came to me and saind Amir, my eyes can see better now. He actually used to see double instead of seeing one person he would see two but after taking food I gave him it improved. he used to come up to my door and honk his horn thats how he would come and get it . On the day urukrama left his body I went tovisit him. His mouth would often need to be cleaned. Most devotees would clean the outside of his mouth. But I could see that he was uncomfortable that inside hes mouth was sticky and not cmfortable for him. So I took a wet cloth and cleaned inside his mouth for him. He started to cry he could realize that I could feel that he is not comfortable with that situation, it was hard for him to even open his mouth due to that stickiness. So when I did that for him he cried very much. I could understand that he is very glad very happpyu with the devotees that they can see each others feelings. So I asked him could he please do me a favour. He couldnt actually say words vey well but he tried to say thak you and yes he could do me a favour. He asked me what. I think he expected me to ask him for something of his something he didnt need any more. So I told him that when he leaves I am sure that he was certainly going to go back to Godhead because a lot of devotees are chanting for him and that was very special not a small thing I said I was sure he was going to go back. So he said Nooooo dont say

that. But I asked him that when he gor there could he please say a preyer for me could he please remember me dont forget me. So he answered shuuure. That is how I remember Urukrama.

MAHARANI DASI I remember one time that he told me how he got sick. He said that when they came here to Canada with his mother and brother there were a lot of problems with the family. So he became very ill. His mother took him back to turkey where he recovered and didnt have any problems. But again when they returned to Canada he became ill. I didnt have very much association with him other than what my husband has already said. Thank you. Hare Krsna.

PARTHA DASA I would just like to say that my most profound remembrance of urukrama was of his undaunted determination. I personally found that very much inspiring to see that example. I had some association with urukrama as a sankirtana partner. It must have been the last year he participated in Christmas marathon selling. I was with him for about a week. It was amazing to see that although he was walking with a cane and it was difficult for him to get around he was carrying this huge box of candles up and down the streets. But I never heard urukrama complain about his condition ever. He was so much determined that in my mind. I didnt consider that urukrama was disabled. He was so transcendental. When he was living in the brahmacari asrama before he was confined to a wheel chair he would always be the first one up in the morning. It would take him maybe twenty minutes or half an hour to walk to the temple. Most normal people would have been in a wheeel chair but urukrama just by his staunch determination would do it himlself. Even though he was the first one up he would just make it to the temple in time for mangala arotika. I was very much appreciative that he set such a good example. Radhastami 1987 was a very wonderful festival. For radha madana-gopal there was an abhiseka, a parikrama and a swan boat ride in the unfinished fountain which had been dilled with water for that purpose. It was a very hot day so after honoring radharanis feast dadhi-harta prabhu and I went to chant our rounds by the fountain. Sitting on the edge we both got the idea to turn around and cool our heels in the water. Although our heels were being cooled we were still feeling the intensity of the days heat. Conjointly we decided to submerge ourselves in the cool water. Then along came madhava and bhakta peter who also climbed in. a few minutes later urukrama came cruising up in his electric wheel chair to watch the water fight which had some how or other evolved. The next thing you knew urukrama got dragged out of his wheelchair and into the water. For about twenty minutes

urukrama was floated on his back around the pond. I was amazed at how well he floated. He later commented that he had not had so much fun in five years. Urukrama prabhu ki jai! RAGHUNATHA DASA The first time I met urukrama was in 1983 at the yoga center on West Pender. At that time he was walking normally. We would always go to granville and georgia on harinama where he would always give out books very enthusiastically. He always did whatever Yamala Arjuna wanted him to do for the preaching. Then there was a gap in mu association with him because I went travelling. The next time I saw him he was at the temple and he was starting to use his wheelchair more often. Then a new yoga center opened on east 11th ave and he moved there along with a few other devotees. Even though confined to a wheel chair he always went out on hari-nama to dilstribute books. He had a continuous strive to take part in Lord Caitanyss sankirtana movement. Then the next major association I had with urukrama waswhen he had to go into the hospital. I found out that not too many devotees were able to do much visiting so I took the oppurtunity to do so. I was thinking that there are so few devotees of Lord Krsna in this world and here is one of them in the hospital so let me visit him. I got to go through the trials and tribulations of hospital life with him at that time. I also met his family then I learned that Turkish families are very close knit. I also met hard core Muslim philosophy head on. After some time dadhi-harta prabhu and I got an apartment for urukrama at the temple. We set it up with homemakers so that we could hire someone to help him full-time who would be paid to do so. By then urukama needed assistance for most physical activities. I held that position for the first month. Then I moved to Ontario for one year. When I came back urukrama was still able to talk but during his last year he became completely bedridden. Towards the end it became apparent that we had a choice. We could either keep him alive with antibiotics and intravenous nutrition or let the disease take its natural course. The way that MS works is that you hit stages. Once you go down the ladder, you may maintain at that level but you never go back up. But then the next stage will come and you go down further with another infection and it goes on like that. MS doesnt really kill you but the diseases associated with it do. The body cant get well. So urukrama was getting worse like that. He could realizethrough a lot of help from his friends that any attachments that he had for the material world were forcibly being taken away- somehow because of his karma or because he was in krsnas hands in this lifetime he had to give up those attachments for his material desires. This is the lesson that is the toughest lesson to learn for anyone and I could see him have to learn it. He had no choice. But he took it and he did it. We can see that by the end he got his result. At the time of his death he had devotees chanting. He had garlands. He had so many friends around him. So we can see

that the process of krsna consciousness works because he obviously had a veryu auspicious disappearance. When Arjuna didnt want to fight in the battlefield krsna said Ive already killed them all just be my instrument. So thats how I feel about my pastimes with Urukrama. I was never a really great friend or confidant or family but this man was a special soul. Out of the many different interactions you can go through in your daily life this man was rare in human form therefore it was important to take up a little association with him and see his pastimes with Krsna. That was my contact with urukrama and I jhope that he is saying a prayer for me in the spiritual world. Hari bol. TULASI ANANDA DASA When I first met Urukrama, in 1981 I was a bhakta. He was in the bthroom, putting his tilak on.I was just learning the philosophy, so because he looked like a serious devotee, I wanted to ask him something. So I sincerely said to him, Urukraman are you ever in maya? He looked at me with a big smile on his face and said, Prabhu, Im always in maya! Now those whoe knew Urukrama know that he was probably one of the least of us to be in Maya. So that was my first encounter with him. He always seemed to be serious, I mever heard him speaking prajalpa. I think because he had this disease, he knew time was valuable. I did snakirtana with him. He would have his cane in one hand, and the roll of paintings in the other. One winter in Regina, maybe 1984, we were driving down the highway, Urukrama was driving at the time. We drove right through a red light at about 40 m.p.h. Luckily, he swerved and missed a pickup truck in another lane. After that, I did the driving. That was probably the last time he drove in his life. I remember one day, he had a very large sale, $750.00 worth of paintings to one office. It took him hours to stretch all the paintings due to his condition, but he did it. The name Urukrama, which is one of Krsnas names, means the one who performs amazing things. I realized that this was perfect name for Urukrama, because of his limitations, when he did some things that seemed ordinary, actually it was amazing. Another thing I realized was that when we look at someone, we see their body, and we think that is them. Of course we know we are spirit soul, but sometimes when I would look at Urukrama, I would imagine that most people when they look at him, think well that is his natural position, he is in a wheelchair. But actually, it was something new to him, he was born healthy, and not until his late twenties he had to face the fact that he was terminally ill. One thing that I lamented about was that Urukrama, although very qualified no doubt, never had the opportunity to go on the altar to serve the Deities in that way, by dressing,

or offering arotika. I thought it would have been nice if some devotees could have helped him get up there, even once, to give him that opportunity. I feel it is very special that he showed us how to die. This is the culture where we hide death, we mask it over. Urukrama reinforced that idea that death is coming. A few years ago, when Urukrama was in his own apartment and needed full-time help, I volunteered for the job. Two days after I started, he became very ill, and had to go to the hospital. In a sense, this was the beginning of the last stage of his life. Up until that point, he had been trying to fight the disease with different diets, he went to India but I feel that at this point he had some very heavy realization that the disease was winning. It was in 1987. He really realized that he wasnt going to win at least as far as his body was concerned. He was winding spiritually. While he was in the hospital, he went on a hunger strike. He wouldnt eat. The nurses were getting very upset, thinking what would happen to him. So they called the temple. At that time, I was visiting a him the most often. I went to the hospital to see him. He was going through a very difficult time, he was full of a lot of emotions, a transformation of having to accept it. Anyway, this one time, when he wasnt eating, I asked Yoginath prabhu to come with me, because I wasnt sure quited what to do. We took him some maha prasadam but he wouldnt take any. It was a very heavy time for him then. That was the spring of 1987, and his doctor told me at that time that he thought he had six months maximum to live. But as we know, he lived another two and a half years. I soon after that moved to Toronto, so I did not have too much contact with Urukrama after that. JANARDANA DASA I didnt have too many personal dealing with Urukrama, but one I remember is when I gave himone of Satsvarupas sannyasi dhoti tops. He really appreciated it, and I felt myself becoming blissful by giving it to him. He had a strong attachment for his gurumaharaja. Another time I was looking through some of his tapes. He saw this and said, Oh, you would like these? He then grabbed a whole handful and gave them to me. He was very generous with his belongings, not stingy at all. Once during Srimad Bhagavatam class, Urukrama was there in his wheelchair. Sivananda was giving class. All of a sudden we heard this big smash. What had happened was that he had fallen out of his chair, and right onto his head. He actually had to get stitches in his forehead from this cut. He didnt say anything about it. I also remember how if in class, the speaker would say something funny, Urukrama would be the first to respond. He would try to laugh, but all that would come out was this big sound. It actually made everyone else laugh more. Also, at times, during plays one could see large tears in his eyes. His devotional emotions were quite evident.

NIMAI DASA One time, I went to Urukramas room and he was in anxiety. I thought it was because he wanted to come on hari-nama, so I asked him if he would like to come. This was about three months before he passed away. For him hari-nama was his whole life, I understand that now. How someone could be that determined to go out on hari-nama is incredible, Very intense. First of all, because of my contamination, I thought that Urukrama was just saying that, that e wanted to go on hari-nama, just because he wants to pass as a good person. But he was sincerely determined to go. It was not easy for him to go. I told him that I would take him, if the other devotees agreed because I wasnt sure what the right thing to do was. The hari-nama was in Stanley Park and it was summer. We did go and when we got there, the sun was beating down, very hot. He was there for three or more hours he would almost lose his consciousness because of the heat, and he was sick, but he still wanted to be there. Besides the three or more hours on hari-nama, it would take an hour of travelling to get there, and one to get back. It was a five or six hour yajna we didnt have a vehicle so we took the Sky Train. Out of everyone that I have seen, Urukrama was the most determined person to go out on hari-nama. It is easy to get fired-up to go, when you have a good body it is even enjoyable, but for him it was an austerity, and he still wanted to do it.

MURARI DASA I was able to take care of Urukrama for two weeks last summer. I was asking Urukrama to teach me, because it was a learning experience for me. I feel that I did not have enough time to read to him and be with him, and I now I realize that. But I had other service to do at the same time, in the temple. Last summer we went to Stanley Park together. He wanted to go to the Sunday picnic. We took a few magazines to distribute. It was a beautiful hot day. But he was very weak, but still, he wanted to go. Every morning, while I was taking care of him, he suffered very much because of his legs. They were always pins and needles, and they caused him trouble, but he never complained, he was very patient. I also was able to reveal my mind to him. He was like my big brother. He always helped me. Actually, the first time I came, he spoke with me, and helped me very much. He told me that sometimes devotional service is not nectar in the beginning, it is like poison, but it will turn to nectar. I remember that very much. When I think about it, he was really like a big brother for me. It always tried to be open with him.

I was also there when he left his body. The whole energy was very spiritual. I was right at his feet, and I saw his face as he left his body. He opened his mouth, and than a peaceful simile came on his face. It was very deep for me. That is what I saw, a relaxed smile. Even now, I try to remember, but that is what I saw. DWARKA DEVI DASI One of my first realization about Urukrama prabhu was how transcendental he was, he never complained about anything or cared who did services for him(man, woman or child). Whether he wanted it or not, he accepted it. I know he was a brahmacari and I was a little reluctant to offer help, but at the same time I could see he wasnt a brahmacari, he was different. He wasnt ordinary. I mentioned this to one other devotee, and she told me because he is spirit soul that is why I felt that way. During his last few days while with other devotees in his room one can see how he was teaching us how to die in the most glorious way. He was also giving us the last opportunity to serve him. He was always looking at pictures of Radha-Krsna and his guru, which were placed above his head on the ceiling or at his Gaura-Nitai deities on his right side. Being a nurse I have seen so many dead bodies, and I was thinking that his body would be the same. Oh how wrong I was. Fifteen minutes before he actually left his body, he stopped breathing for about thirty seconds or so, I really became afraid. Then the most ecstatic kritan started, all fear disappeared just by the potency of the Holy Name so much so that I didnt want to miss anything. The kirtan was like a heart rendering prayer to Krsna begging him to please take Urukrama back home to Godhead. I also got the opportunity of seeing how a non-devotee leaves his body and now a devotee, but believe me that there is no comparison. Urukrama prabhu still had his effulgence even to the time his soul left his body. After a non-devotee is dead there is so much lamentation, but when Urukrama prabhu left his body there was a blissful feeling. I would have never believed there could be so much happiness in seeing someone leave his body, or after the soul has departed. Afterwards, the few mothers who were there went outside, we were saying the same things over and over again. Actually whatever I had experienced just before and after Urukramas soul left his body is very difficult to understand unless you yourself had that same experience. Satsvarupa das Maharaja phoned before he left and told him that he should just fix his mind on Sri Sri Radha-Krsna. After seeing his ability to executed his gurus instruction then I realized that I would never make it back, as I have no way of fixing my mind on any object, what to speak of Radha-krsna. This was one lesson I learned from Urukrama prabhu. RASA-KRIDA DASA (from a letter to Valmiki dasa)

I had previously heard that Urukrama had left his body and it has had a big impact on me. I would imagine that some of the emotions I experienced were also felt by you and many of the other devotees who knew Urukrama. I was a bit surprised, as I am not freed from the bodily conception of life and its hard to conceive of life without a material body. Still I was happy for Urukrama as it seems from you description and another description that I heard, that there is a very good likelihood that Lord Krsna has delivered our good friend. To me, Urukramas passing has become an inspiration. Because I have so many material attachments, it sometimes seems impossible to become Krsna conscious. When I worked with Urukrama, I felt that he was not fully detached from family, etc, but because of hi sincerity, the Lord has given him the spiritual strength to overcome is attachments. I dont fell as if I have lost the association of Urukrama. The bond that was and is there with him is a spiritual one and not bound by material space or time. As I am experiencing strength and guidance from Srila Prabhupada and know that sooner or later I will be with him in the spiritual world, similarly I know that I will be reunited with Urukrama in service to the Lord. I was in a kirtan at a Guru-puja of Srila Prabhupada when I first was inspired to work with Urukrama. About a week later it was confirmed that this was what Prabhupada wanted me to do, by speaking with some of the devotees there and then Krsna made the arrangement, I guess I worked with him for four to six months. Ill try to write down some of the memories as they come to me. He liked to offer incense to his Gaura-Nitai Deities before he took rest every night. I would try to make sure that his feet were covered with his blanket and his toque was securely on his head. He would be listening to one of his tapes, smelling the prasadam smoke of his Lordships incense. I remember one day I put him in the passenger seat of my car and drove him downtown to took at some medical equipment. He seemed to be enjoying the ride, perhaps pretending that we could stop at some of the old sankirtan spots that we were passing, and get out once again to help collect money for the temple and give the conditioned souls a chance to do something for Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohan. He was telling me the names of the streets as we went along, in an excited way. At one time he was hospitalized after starting to choke on his food and water. I visited him the next day at the hospital and he requested that I bring some literature that he could distribute to the workers at the hospital. I brought him a few small books and some magazines the next day and he distributed some of them. For a while my wife was cooking lunch for Urukrama and myself. The two of us would eat together and I think we were both appreciating taking the Lords prasadam with another devotee. I would feed myself as he was chewing on his food and he would

tell me or point to what he wanted next. I would then quickly rinse my hands and give him what he wanted. I didnt know Urukrama for very long and I cant say that I knew him that well. Its always a blessing to be able to do some service for a devotee of the Lord. AGNIVARNA DASA I remember one day, when I had first moved to the temple. I was near Urukramas apartment. He was there, and he was feeling bad. I asked him if I could help him, and he said yes. My English was very bad, so I couldnt understand him, but after some time, I knew that he was talking about an ambulance. Then I was really worried. I thought, oh Urukrama needs an ambulance. So I went out and was looking for devotees, and looking for Valmiki. Valmiki was sick at that time, he had some problem with his stomach, and was vomiting. Another devotee came and was asking Urukrama, he came closer to Urukrama, and was talking to him and asking if he was sure that he really needed an ambulance. Everyone was worried about that. He said, no, that the person who needed an ambulance was Valmiki. Valmiki was the one who needed the amblulance. It was really amazing for us to see how he was worried about other devotees. The day that Satsvarupa Maharaja talked with Urukrama on the phone, I went down to see Urukrama. I was talking with him, and he was very conscientious about that conversation with his guru maharaja. The tape of the conversation was a little difficult to understand, and he told me that he wanted to hear it again, with the head phones. So I put it on for him. I was watching him when he was hearing the conversation, he was very deep into it. All the time while he was listening, he said, Jaaii. Mother sri Rupa was there at that time too. It was really amazing, because his bodily condition was pretty poor. Sometimes we feel a little higher fever, and we cant keep our mind in one place. Still you could see how he was very conscious of his situation. It was a big impression for me. I had promised to get him a Nrsimha-kavaca from Germany, they have a big deity of Lord Nrsimha-deva But I couldnt get it on time for him, and I felt like I failed him in my promise. I apologized, and he was trying to say that it was okay. But still I was feeling unfortunate and that I couldnt do it for him. On the last day, I just came home very late from work, and my wife said that Urukrama is very bad, you have to go there. I was very tired, but I went around ten o clock. His brother was there too, so the devotees had to stop the kirtan. We had a desire to have kirtan again. When he left his body, the devotees were chanting louder and louder, and they were feeling some ecstasy. I dont know why, but we were feeling ecstatic. His brother was sad that Urukrama had passed away, and he asked us if we could please be quiet now. There was something very special happening at that moment, and I couldnt stop thinking of him for the next day. Even when I went to work I told people about him, but they couldnt understand what I was talking about. I was really impressed by that moment. That is the first time that I have seen a devotee leave their

body. It was really beautiful for me, and I could understand what is the meaning of this life. He taught us how we have to leave, and how we are expected to have the right consciousness, up to the last moment. VALMIKI DASA Hare Krsna. I was very, very fortunate to have almost a year and a half of very, very close association with this great devotee. Before that year and a half, I did a little part time work, on a one day a week basis, so I got to know him a bit then. I also had a little association with him at the East 11th yoga center. This was three years before I became really interested in Krsna consciousness, I just happened to wander into his place. There were a few people there. I talked with Urukrama. I was into a lot of intoxication back then and I was telling him about my different experiences experimenting with different substances. Urukrama simply said to me, Its all zeros! So I said, But these things happened to me. And he goes, Zeros, zeros, zeros. I thought why does he keep telling me this? I think I just wandered out after that. Then a couple of ears later, I started coming to the temple regularly, took up chanting, and gave up my bad habits. Eventually moved into the temple, and started taking care of Urukrama one day a week. The impression I got of him back then, was that he was a very tough character. A very strong man. But I could see that there had been a change, there had been some deterioration since I had talked to him before. His voice had changed, he had a little more trouble talking. I remember we went to some hari-namas. One of those hari-namas was on Hastings Street. He was there, and he had a key chain with a picture of Lord Nrsimha-deva on it. This one man came up, Urukrama was sitting in his wheel chair with some books. I was standing right beside him, and the man looked at Urukramas key chain, and saw Lord Nrsimha-deva and he said, Whats that?! in a very sarcastic voice. Urukrama said, Thats God! Thats my God! The man looked at Urukrama and he put his hands up in the air and he said, If thats your God, why dont you get up and walk? Urukrama just looked at the guy, and he walked off. Urukrama looked at me, and put his arms up, and laughed, with his arms up. So every time I would look over at him after that, Urukrama would start to put his arms up gain, with this big smile on his face. He taought it was a joke. We were all laughing pretty hard. So after that, I took a couple of months break before I started working for him full time. He had been to the hospital during the time that I had been away. I noticed that he now had trouble drinking, having difficulties swallowing, that he didnt have before. Time went by, next he started to have trouble eating. But he still wanted to go on harinama. It was a little difficult to get him in and out of the van. But we still managed to do it. Even to the point where it was almost impossible. He was having some trouble holding his head up, so we had to get a head brace to help keep it up. I remember taking him to an engagement at the building on East 11th after the devotees moved the yoga center out, with the hippies who had moved in afterwards. His head just wouldnt stay up, so some of the people there were helping him, holding it up fro him, and helping him eat and drink. In that way, they got do some service for Urukrama.

As time went by, he expressed a desire to go to India. He wanted to go and leave his body there. But after a while, I guess he decided that he wasnt ready to leave his body. And we see how long he lasted since then. It is really amazing how he lasted so long. Because every once in a while he would have to go to the hospital and get antibiotics. But every time he came back he would be a little skinnier, a little weaker. One pastime was when we went downtown to get the passport photo. We went downtown on the Sky Train. He was in his chair and when it was time to get his photo, he couldnt hold his head up. His head was leaning over, so in order to get a good shot, I would hold his head up. But as soon as I would let it go, it would fall over again. So we had to practice a few times, but I would hold his head up, and right in the nick of time, the photographer would have to take the picture. So we were able to get a nice picture of him sitting up straight, with a big smile on his face. He was always very enthusiastic to try and give out some magazines. I remember when I first started working for him, he went every day, in the coldest time of year just before Christmas, and everyday he would go out, without fail in his wheel chair for six, seven or eight hours a day. We would go out on hari-nama, and we would see him down there, giving out magazines and meeting people. A lot of people would ask the harinama party, Wheres the guy in the wheel chair? I talk to him all the time when I come down here. A lot of people knew him. He was very determined that way. Then it got to the point where his hands just couldnt work any more. He couldnt drive the wheel chair for himself. It was very painful to sit there for a long period of time. But he never complained. I never knew him to complain about the problems that he had with his body. He was always very transcendental. Sometimes, because he had a very strong personality, a lot of different people tried to take care of him, and a lot of people went under. He had a very strong personality. He was a very, very strong man. He was dominant and when he wanted something done his way, it had to be his way. There were some people who found that difficult. But I had a special kind of relationship with him, because he couldnt really fry me, although he came close, because I really wanted to take care of him. I didnt feel like I could do anything else more purifying. If I hadnt taken up the service with Urukrama at that time, I feel that I probably would have wandered a bit and wasted time. So he helped me keep going, and helped me stay here in the temple. He utilized his sense of hearing. Every morning, he staunchly attended the program and the class. Some people would say to me, Is Urukrama really there? Does he really understand when people are talking to him? I would tell them yes, he did for sure, he understood everything. Some people couldnt really understand when he talked. But for me, after a while, it was very easy, I understood everything he said. Somebody else may not understand, but I could tell what he meant. He had a very close relationship with his family, especially his mother and his brothers. He was very fond of them. He was always worried for his mother. Which was

nice. He was always concerned for other devotees as well. He was very fond of hearing about the glories of the Lord. He had many tapes of different pastimes. He would listen to these tapes, and very often they would bring tears to his eyes. I would be just amazed that someone could be crying over these tapes. Even though some of them are pretty good, like Jagai and Madhai, every time he wuld hear that tape, he would cry and cry and cry. So I realized that he really had some real appreciation for the pastimes of the Lord. It was a very advanced stage. I couldnt believe how he could be so moved by these stories. There was also a Radio Ram tape, that was a comedy satire that the devotees made. He would laugh. Sometimes I would stay in his apartment overnight, and once we both were listening to that tape, and laughing our heads off. Sometimes I was laughing more at the way he laughed than at the tape. You could always tell that Urukrama was totally with us. He always used to laugh at Parthas classes, because he would always say something funny. He would just roar. We would all laugh along with him. One time Vipramuhkya Svami was narrating a pastime where he was at the London temple, and Prabhupada had just left his body. He was talking about how everybody was crying, and everyone was sad. This narration brought tears to Urukrama. He was just wailing, he was just wailing like you wouldnt believe in this class. It kind of just went right through me, I was just holding back the tears myself. It was just really intense. One time when he came back from the hospital, I think it was quite a hard time for himthere that time. It was the afternoon of the Sunday feast. I brought him to the temple room, and I took him right up to see the Deities. He was just crying and crying and crying in front of the Deities. I was just bewildered, I didnt know what to do or say to him. But I thought that he must really be appreciating the Deities, and the devotees, and the temple and appreciating the Lord for bringing him back. He must have really been having a heavy realization at that time. I was very fortunate to have his association and I hope that you will forgive all of the offenses that I committed while I was taking care of him. All glories to Urukrama prabhu. MADANA MOHANA MOHINI DASI I wrote this article, hoping to submit it to Iskcon World Review, and I pray that I have the approval of the devotees here. I called it, The Final Test. As I took darsana of Sri Sri Radha Madana Mohana, I was feeling most fortunate for having received Their special mercy. Reflecting back to the night before, and the five days preceding that, which had been the most profound and most purifying experience in my life. That night before, I was present when Urukrama das brahmacari, thirty-five years old, left his body. He had been a devotee for the last ten years at New Gokula Vancouver. His body had been riddled with Multiple Sclerosis, a degenerative disease of the nervous and muscular

systems and as a result had been in and out of the hospital. Never once, however, did the devotees hear him complain. Prior to Urukrama prabhus long and most recent hospitalization he had always attended the morning program and he continued to do so despite his rapidly failing health. Urukrama prabhu was always determined in his Krsna consciousness. He was a real preacher and when in better health, spent a lot of his time preaching at the yoga center. He always loved to distribute Srila Prabhupadas books. Last year, in 1988, he was the top distributor of BTGs for the Christmas marathon in Vancouver. As long as he was able to get around on his own in his wheel chair, he would take the Sky Train and go on hari-nama or book distribution despite the fact that he would sometimes get into accidents with his wheel chair. So the devotees showed their concern and begged that he not go out. It was only when his limbs no longer functioned and he could not manipulated his wheel chair, that he stopped. Urukrama prabhu was also very fond of giving donations from his disability pension to Srila Prabhupadas BBT and he always helped support different preaching projects. As his disease progressed, it became more difficult for him to speak, and although towards the end. Urukrama prabhu could respond with no more than a few slurred words, Jai, hari-bol, eah, no. Just occasional disjointed sentences. Although he was completely confined to his bed, unable to move, he remained joyful, always smiling and laughing and very Krsna conscious. He was a teacher to us all. He was completely aware of the situation and was always attentive to everything that was spoken to and read to him. His eyes remained bright and he was very effulgent and peaceful. Often we would watch him turn his head and glance from one side of his bed, then to the ceiling directly above him, then to the other side, where his personal Gaura Nitai Deities were and where there were pictures of Srila Prabhupada and other Deities. He did this, even as his eyesight failed him, always trying to remember the Lords transcendental form. Not having eaten or drunk anything for five or six days he could not longer swallow properly. He was extremely thin and weak. Literally a bag of bones. We kept administering the real medicine. Drops of the sacred Radha Kunda, Yamuna, Ganges water and carinamrta into his mouth from a dropper. Tapes of Srila Prabhupada singing or chanting japa were twenty-four hours around the clock. Since we had received notice of Urukrama prabhus imminent departure, the devotees had constant kirtans and reading from Prabhupadas books, and different sankirtana stories. The gurukula children came in to chant the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita to him and sang him bhajans for him. We preached to Urukrama prabhu to be bold, and to not be afraid of death. As we reminded him to take shelter of Krsna, that Krsna always protects His devotees, and that His devotees never perish Urukrama prabhu would always let out a long and loud, Jai. We reminded him to always chant Hare Krsna in his mind, and to prepare for the final test. He let us know that he was feeling fearless, and that he was always chanting in his mind. This was so encouraging for us to hear.

I personally found this aspect of chanting, preaching and reading to a devotee on the verge of death, very deeply satisfying and I was deeply moved by the loving kindness the devotees expressed towards Urukrama prabhu. On the Sunday before his departure, Urukrama prabhus health began rapidly deteriouration. We were continually amazed at how he was still present in that suffering body. We felt that Krsna was keeping him just this much longer, to complete his purification. Also, we had also become more purified by our constant chanting, reading, praying and serving Krsnas dear devotee. That night, Urukrama prabhu, although extremely weak, insisted that his personal and dedicated servant, Valmiki prabhu, bring him to the temple to see our puppet show, which we dedicated to him. It was the story of Ajamila, and I was thinking how Krsna makes such perfect arrangements, as I had not known this situation would occur when I decided to put this particular puppet show on. Urukrama prabhu relished every moment of it, though he could barely see. That was his last visit to the temple. Monday he worsened. Tuesday. All signs indicated that the final moment was approaching. By 1:30 P.M. we began kirtan which continued for seven to eight hours straight. It was very, very sweet. Actually, all of our anxieties were relieved from these kirtans. Devotees were in and out and his family members came and left, although his brother who by this time had become favourable, returned to stay for the rest of the night. By 10:30 P.M. Dadhi-harta prabhu, who had been guiding us through this experience, informed us that Urukrama prabhus departure would be very soon. Dadhi-harta prabhu had already been faithfully there to help Urukrama prabhu through the years, and he now stayed with him day and night. By this time Urukrama prabhu had lost external consciousness, kirtan continued, although we were all extremely tired from the past weeks lack of sleep, and the intensity of the situation. By 11:00 P.M. only nine devotees remained in the room, watching Urukrama prabhus shallow breathing and delayed pauses between breaths. Right before 11:20 it had appeared that Urukrama prabhu had taken his final breath and kirtan soared. He barely breathed again, and at 11:20 P.M., on Tuesday, December 19th, covered by the Deities garlands, wering neck beads, Radha Kunda beads, tilak and a medallion of Lord Nrshimhadeva on his chest, Urukrama prabhu left his body, during the most tumultuous, ecstatic and prayerful kirtan. Each and every devotee present chanted as they never had before, pleading with Krsna to please take back His dear servant. Jai all glories to Urukrama prabhu! LILAMRTA DASI Due to my husbands association with Urukrama while preaching at the different yoga centers, I also had some association with Urukrama. Most of that was at the East 11th yoga center. We lived next door and I was doing a lot of the cooking for the programs. Urukrama had his special diet and he tried to eat a lot of raw vegetables at least once a day. He really liked broccoli. Sometimes when I was cooking broccoli in large quantities, I didnt use the stems. He would come into the kitchen and ask me to save them for him. He told me the stems were actually the best part of the whole thing because they had the most vitamins and that most people foolishly throw them away.

When we first moved into the yoga center there Urukrama used to walk up and down the stairs to attend the programs in the temple room on the top floor that he almost fell down them. I was alsays worried that he wuld seriously hurt himself so I asked him to please not do it any more. I think he maybe could have done it longer, but so as not to put the devotees into anxiety about him, he started riding his wheel chair around the building and in the front door. We used to go to the temple in Burnaby a few times every week for mangala arotika and morning program. Urukrama always liked to be on time. If there were a few extra bhaktas coming and it looked like we were going to be late, he would call a taxi and go ahead us just to be on time. I remember him charging up his wheelchair batter every night to be ready for the next day. A few times he actually drove his wheelchair from the temple in Burnaby all way downtown (that was before the Sky Train was built). If I remember correctly, the battery was not quite powerful enough to do much else once he go there. It was more than a few times that he got stranded without power because of his determination to do things on his own and would have to come home in a taxi. When we went on hari-nama my daughter used to be in her stroller and Urukrama would be in his wheelchair. So they would both sit there beside each other. If I was distributing magazines nearby and she had started to cry without my noticing, Urukrama would let me know. He was always very personal. Even after we did not have a yoga center and had moved to the farm, each time I saw him in Vancouver he would inquire about my husband and how we were all doing. My daughter, Krsna Caitanya dasi, also had this memory of Urukrama: Urukrama was nice. I like how he gave books out to the non-devotees. I remember how he honked his horn. I loved that. I wish he was still here. My family and I were not here in Vancouver when Urukrama left his body but we were able to come for his memorial service. I heard how on the day Urukrama had returned from the hospital all the devotees had gathered there to be with him. From then on devotees were with him 24 hours a day until he left this world. I remember feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Two thinds struck me. One was how Urukrama had the good fortune to leave in such an auspicious way. The other was how wonderful the devotees had been to be there, encouraging and helping him at this most crucial time of life. Prabhupada very often said that the test of ones life is at the time of death. To know that devotees would actually be there at the final moment to help another devotee through this final test was very comforting and inspiring to me. I remembered when I was a new devotee and had asked mother Uttama what I should pray for. She told me to chant Hare Krsna, but if you pray for something, pray to leave your body in the association of devotees. At the time I could not fully appreciate such a statement, but here with Urukramas passing away was the example. The association of devotees is indeed very rare and very important especially at the time of death.

Mother Madana Mohana Mohini told me that the doctor who came to visit Urukrama here at his apartment during those last few days said that he had never seen a group of people who were so positive and confident about how to deal with death. It is indeed evident that whatever struggles and difficulties Urukrama prabhu had to endure with his bodily ailment and his practicing of Krsna consciousness were well worth it. His example has been a great impetus to carry on in devotional life for all of us. YAMALA ARJUNA DAS The first time I met Urukrama was in 1977 down on Georgia and Granville, Vancouver. He had a small beard and he walked with a slight limp. I was giving out Srimad Bhagavatams and trying to get donations for them on behalf of Srila Prabhupada and the temple. The interesting thing is that while preaching to so many different people, trying to give out the mercy, you cant always remember all the faces in the crowd. To be quite honest, I never really remembered the whole incident. He told me later that he remembered me. One day we were just sitting in his room and he went into details about it very clearly, and very descriptive. He described how it had been the Second Canto Part I, that he had received, and how he had gone home and read it from cover to cover. After that, he went to visit the temple on 16th Avenue. He was very appreciative of that first encounter with a devotee and getting the book. In the beginning, I couldnt really remember, but as he talked about it, in such detail, then I started to recall the person with the limp and with the beard, the book, the location, and it started coming out of my subconscious. I had the good fortune to have almost six years of association with Urukrama, in a rather direct way. Sometimes when you are with a person all of the time, you become familiar and can overlook their good qualities. Familiarity breeds contempt. So I didnt have contempt so much, but because we were together so much, I may have over-looked some of his good qualities, or at least become familiar. Our regular association began on 5\9 W. Pender Street at our yoga center there. He couldnt really do the other fund-raising activities to help support the temple at that time, but he still wanted to go on and do active service, so he joined the yoga center preaching crew. So I used to take him down in my van. He would always be there in the parking lot waiting for me to go. Sometimes it would be raining. He would usually carry an umbrella, but sometimes he didnt even have an umbrella. But rain or shine, he was the first one there ready to go. He would patiently sit there in the parking lot. Usually I was the last one because I have a tendency to be late. Sometimes he would be waiting for up to half an hour, there outside the van, because he was so eager to go out and preach. I would feel bad about it, but he would never chastise me, or never argue with me, or express any bad feelings towards me. All the years that we associated, he always took a subordinate position, ever though it was obvious that he was more advanced. But he would always take a humble, submissive attitude. He never argued, he was always very

respectful, and not once was there a problem that way, which was completely amazing, astounding to me. Jagannatha dasa had made a ramp so that we could push his wheelchair up into the van. He went in and out of that van so many times, and every once and a while, while going in we would lift him a little too high, and he would bump his head on the top of the door. But never did he say, watch what youre doing or anything like that. All that he would do is when his head hit, he would say, Hare Krsna. He would bow his head in a humble state, and he would look at me and say, Oh prabhu, Krsnas mercy. Many times I can remember that happening I could see that this personality wasnt normal to be able to do that consistently. Sometimes when we had some new bhaktas driving with us in the van, or down at the yoga center, the conversation or mood would become somewhat mundane or frivolous. He would immediately sense it, and start to laugh in a joking way, without making any offense and he would start chanting to overpower the situation. He would chant very loudly, to make it known by everyone that he didnt really approve of that particular mood. It then took on a sober atmosphere, where it was transformed very quickly and brought back under control and it was a more mature spiritual mood. He was always conscientious like that. I saw him do that many, many times. Urukrma was always there with me. If someone else didnt show up, or a lot of times, I was just by myself, but there was always one person who would show up, and that was Urukrama. He sincerely wanted to preach, it was a very deep desire, and that was his main focus. So I had that inspiration to go on, having this very solid, transcendental anchor-man. Rooted deep in Krsna consciousness, and it always gave me great solace and inspiration because he was there. I sincerely feel that I couldnt have gone on, to the length that I have, if I didnt have someones association like that. He never gave that demeanor, it wasnt a verbal inspiration, to me anyway, but simply his sincerity, and it gave me a lot of inspiration to go on myself. He used to get a disability pension. He would give a little more than half which turned out to be four hundred dollars directly each month to these various yoga center that was over a period of six years. He gave it every month without fail, spontaneously, without a negative thought in his mind. I was very touched that someone would be so detached and about it. With the rest of the money, he would but the bare necessities for himself, and then make tapes, which he then would share with the devotees. Sometimes he would go down to Chinatown and but natural soap. He would wheel and deal with one of the shopkeepers there, and would get the cheapest price possible on a whole of this soap, and he would keep a couple for himself, and then give the rest to different devotees, or give it to the brahmacari asrama. He would also but laundry soap for the devotees. He was always very generous. He didnt have a selfish bone in his body. Although most devotees never really heard him give class in the temple at New Gokula, in the yoga center we did. He usually didnt want to give class, he would never stepforward and say that he wanted to. If we would push the point of asking him, and

kept pursuing it, he would submit. When he gave a class it was interesting. Especially with non-devotees, whose minds have a tendency to wander or simply to be thinking about when this lecture will be over so that I can eat, it can be hard to keep their attention. When he gave a class, it was so straight-forward and full of bhakti. He had a potency and command in such a natural way that everything would become quiet and they would listen. I noticed this many, many times. Almost spellbound with awe and reverence, not just because he was in a wheelchair but because he actually had a deeper conviction and seriousness. I guess seeing him in that wheelchair may have made people think about how someone like that could speak like this, unless they were very convinced or had great determination. His lectures would be humble and simple, but very pure and forceful with any compromise at the same time. From my observation this was the way it was, and the proof was that the room would be silent. There was sometimes fifty, sixty, up to eighty people packed in there, but when he gave his class, no one would speak. They were listening. In Urukramas room on East 11th it got to the point where he wasnt able to get out of his bed so easily. So Jagannatha prabhu, made some bars they always reminded me of monkey bars that were in various positions around the room, that he could gram onto to pull himself up. Once he was up, he could still walk and get into his wheelchair by himself. He would definitely get up before anybody else so that he could be on time for mangala arotika. He would have to get up early, because it took him a long time just to take his shower, and he didnt want to miss out when everyone else was taking their shower, and take the chance of being last. Sometimes he wouldnt actually make it. He would try to get into his wheelchair, but he would fall on the floor. Everyone else would be sleeping. I would usually be the next one up. I would look in to see if anyone was up yet, and many times, there Urukrama would be, lying on his back chanting. It was a cold, basement floor, and he would just be waiting for someone to come and pick him up, without waking anybody or disturbing anybody. He would look up at me and say, Oh, hari bol prabhu! It seemed as if to say well, youre ready. He knew how to utilize every space of time, and at the same time, he didnt want to disturb anyone. Although, when it was time to every one else to get up, he would make sure they were up. He made his rounds as the transcendental crier there at the yoga center too. I could probable speak about many other things, but other devotees have already given their account of them, so I am trying only to repeat other instances that hopefully give yet another vision of Urukramas character and person-ality. Although other devotees have mentioned about Urukramas falling over, I remember how when he was still walking with a cane, whenever he would loose his balance and start to go, he would call out, Whoooaaa! Here I go again! and burst into laughter. I used to drive Urukrama around a lot, because I had the van to be able to do it. I didnt mind doing it, it didnt disturb me. Sometimes when you have to keep doing something for someone over and over, you find it hard, but by Krsnas mercy, I always felt happy to do it for him. He certainly never asked me to take him anywhere for a reason other than things directly related to his service. So I never I could turn him down. This one time, I was taking him to see his mother, who was in a Nursing Home because

she had injured her hip. Urukrama would always phone her up, and keep in touch and be very considerate. His preaching to her was so dynamic, that he actually got her to give up eating meat. She was an older lady, and she was very attached to Urukrama, which is to her great credit. They were talking in Turkish so I couldnt understand. He was sitting there in his wheelchair, and she was there sitting in her wheel chair because she couldnt walk. So there was two souls, one a devotee, and one not quite realizing shes a devotee yet, but attracted. He talked to her and he would start crying. From a material vision, you could think that is was only sentimental. But I tried to observe it with an open attitude, trying to realize that this person is an exalted soul, and to not get too familiar. Then his mother would start crying. They would both sit and cry together. I saw this many times actually. When I went to her place. He would start talking to her about Prabhupaka and Krsna and Lord Caitanya. He would tell me afterwards what he had been saying. He got her so emotional, just from his own attachment for Krsna consciousness. One time when we visited her, she gave us some of her heirlooms as gifts to use at the yoga center. They were all antiques. The things that normally one would be attached to, but Urukrama would let her know which things could be used for serving Krsna, and she would give them to him. She gave us some small rugs, an antique Turkish lamp, and two beautiful vases. I still have those vases on my altar here at the farm. Spiritual life is variegated, and no two exalted souls are alike. I often was reminded of Jayananda prabhu when I thought of Urukrama. I was realizing that when Jayananda was present, a lot of people thought that he was a very exalted soul, but it wasnt apparent or known. But by Prabhupada confirming it and glorifying him, and speaking very highly of him, everyone automatically accepted that. So I feel also Urukrama was like Jayananda, although a different flavour or style. He was actually a very, very exalted soul. If we study his character by hearing about his pastimes of just one or two things, we think it is nice. But when you get a whole collage of his personality it gives a broader perspective of him and you can see how exalted he is. I could see a few things, but I wanted to see more because I am so offensive and have a dull Kali-yuga stone heart. I wanted to melt my heart by hearing about this great soul, gain a greater understanding, and then I wanted to extend that mercy, or share that mercy with all the Vaishnavas. It is self-evident that here was a great soul, when your hear the majority of devotees speak about Urukrama prabhu. Sometimes you see graveyard piety. People spak all the good things about someone when they die, but actually when Urukrama was present before un in his bodily from, people would also speak very highly of him. It wasnt as when they die, but actually when Urukrama was present before us in his though before and after were some distinction. It was always the same steady, consistent flow of appreciation coming from the devotees hearts because he had a genuine understanding in his own heart. Another point of Urukramas potency, is how he dealt with his brother. Sometimes his brother would be inimical or unfavorable, but he actually got him, along with his whole family, to give up meat eating. I used to talk to his brother, and one day he told me, this was towards the end of Urukramas stay with us. He told me, I have to admit,

quite frankly that the Mosque that I go to for worship, does not have that same love and devotion and depth that you people have here at your temple. He was quite humble, and very thoughtful, and we were talking very soberly. The basic thing that I noticed was that because of Urukramas determination to continually give him Krsnas mercy he got to the point where he honestly couldnt deny that. It is pretty hard for the lower nature to come out and admit things sometimes, but he came out and said that. I give the credit of that to Urukrama prabhu because of his surrender to his spiritual master and to this greater Iskcon movement. Urukrama would never try to put himself in the forefront, he would try to be evasive, but I would try to glorify him. I would say things like, Urukrama ki jai! He would just take his wheelchair and drive away. Or tell me to please stop. He would tell me to talk about Krsna, or Prabhupada. He didnt want to hear anything about himself. It was a fact however, that he was a touchstone for many, many people to come to devotional service. I saw that many, many times. There was another time that he was sitting outside basking in the sun at the East 11th yoga center. He would just sit there, chanting japa, feeling the rays of the sun. When I looked at him, it must have been Super soul, I could feel that he was more detached from his body than I could be familiar with. There was some kind of energy or shakti, coming from his being. It kind of stunned me. He turned and he looked at me. I could see that he wasnt bothered by this material world. To confirm my feeling, he turned to me and said, This place is all just temporary isnt it prabhu? Somehow his words hit me, and I felt that I was realizing myself to be in a dream and trying to wake up. I could detect he was getting Krsnas mercy, and was preparing himself to go back to Godhead. One day I said to him, Urukrama, when you get to the spiritual world, could you please pray for me? Please, I beg for you to pray for me, to be able to become freed from my bodily, egocentric way of life? He just gazed lovingly into my eyes, with a big smile. He didnt say anything, but I got the message that he was telling me, Well, how can I do that prabhu? I wont go there, but Ill pray anyway. He wasnt expecting anything except to be able to continue serving. He didnt seem to be caring about his destination, as long as he could serve and be in association of devotees. He was leaving it up to Krsna. He wasnt trying to make Krsna his order supplier. I remember last summer when Maha-mantra and I were going to open a yoga center in Kelowna, B.C. We went to tell Urukrama about it. He said, Take me to Kelowna, prabhu. Take me. You could see that in his heart, he wanted to come with us, although he couldnt even get out of bed. I wished I could have taken him with us, but it wasnt possible. But I told him that I would write him letters and keep in touch. So we decided to have a kirtan with him, before we left. Maha-mantra played mrdanga, I played the sruti-box, and we all chanted. He was chanting the best he could until tears just were flowing out of his eyes. He was just lying there, with his mouth open and tears pouring from his eyes. You could see that even though he wanted to come and couldnt, he was simply appreciating that missionary mood, and the fact that we were going out to try to save someone and give out Lord Caitanyas mercy.

He liked the sruti-box so I would often go in and chant for him. Many times he would turn his head and look at me in a very childlike way, and sometimes he would cry. He would command, in a transcendental way, that I also cry with him, so we would sit there together and cry. I felt purified and sanctified by such experiences. Another interesting thing is that Abhidehya, Gitas daughter, had a dream about Urukrama the night before he passed away. In her dream she was in the temple room in from of Sri Sri Radha Mandan Mohan. The Deities turned and spoke to her and said, Yes, We want Urukrama to come back now. The she woke up. It was the next day that Urudrama left this mortal world. I remember the last time that Urukrama came on a preaching engagement with me. It was at the Oasis of Life center our previous yoga center building on East 11th. There were a lot of musicians there that evening and we had gone over to have kirtan. We brought prasadam for distribution also. When Urukrama found out we were going, he pleaded with me to take him. He could hardly even move. I knew it would be hard for him, but I couldnt refuse his request. The kirtan we had was a little wild. People dancing and playing all sorts of instruments. There is a video of this engagement, and you can see him sitting right there in the middle of the kirtan, happily absorbed. It was almost like a revival of Avalon Ballroom, 1967. But there was Urukrama, right a part of it, and right in the middle of it. Afterwards he told me he was so happy and grateful that he was able to come. At that time, he could not even lift his arms to take prasadam. Finbad, one of the people there, saw this and took the opportunity to render some service by feeding him and helping him by supporting his head. I have often thought that it has been Krsnas mercy upon me to have the vehicle I did, for if I did not have that van, which carried Urudrama to so many places, I would not have had so much of his association. I would also like to mention the tireless and selfless service rendered to Urukrama by Dadhi-harta prabhu. He took care of his financial and medical needs. Urukrama had a hone in his room that was connected to Dadhi-hartas dairy. He would only press one button and right away Dadhi-harta would phone back or come right over. Dadhi-harta prabhu would never say this himself but I have to say it he played a very big important role in looking after Urukrama. He served Urukrama very diligently, and was right there until the end of his passing from this world. Urukrama has told me many times, that he felt very highly of Dadhi-harta prabhu for doing this for him. Although he didnt feel worth, he was very appreciative of Dadhi-hartas kindness upon him. Some months before leaving us, when Urukrama was still able to speak, he told me, This is Krsnas kindness upon me. I was such a sinful person before I joined this movement, I did so many abominable activities, it is Krsnas kindness to be able to get

rid of this useless body. It will be Krsnas mercy when He takes it away, and I will get a fresh new one, and hopefully be able to serve again. In concluding, it has been very purifying to have his association. I am appreciating it more now that he has passed form my material eyes. I am praying that having these memoirs, will keep his memories ever fresh and perhaps one day we shall meet again. I know he is somewhere with Krsna, and I hope that by helping to glorify Urukrama I will somehow get his mercy. All glories to Srila Prabhupada, for without his mercy, we would not have the opportunity of having such transcendental exchanges with devotees, and there would be no hope of ever going back to Godhead. All glories to Urukrama prabhu, who was such an exemplary person who took Krsna consciousness very seriously. Hari bol.