Professional Documents
Culture Documents
DE MINIMIS
MONDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2012 Established 1948; Revived 2012 VOLUME 2, ISSUE 11
De Minimis
L IS FOR...
League [leeg] noun 1. 2. An association of individuals having a common goal; A bunch of wankers that form a study group at Melbourne Law School. Everyone knows the study of law is solipsist; its every man, woman, and overgrown child for themselves. Thats why syndicate exercises are the bane of our existence, thats why complicity was the hardest part of criminal law for law students to comprehend, and thats why every time I open the door to a group study room on level 5 theres only one person in the room. EVERY TIME. A study group, therefore, is in every way antithetical to the foundations of law school culture; its science to fundamentalist Christianity, its logic to scientology and its bacon to the Jews. But I should back-track and detail the basic premise of the league is (or is it the league? The douches of the league would write it the league or The League). The League is a self-formed, self-governing study group formed after LMR for the purposes of writing group notes and engaging in group revision to achieve the best marks possible with the least effort possible, according to The Leagues website found at www.weloveourselves.com. Firstly: The League? I dont care if someone outside the group came up with the name that it has since stuck can only mean that it is an amass of tool-face-loser-wankers, or toolfaceloserwankers for slightly shorter. The problems with their mantra, in a place like the law school, are threefold: self, group and least effort.
That the group is self-formed suggests they had a new idea; which is absurd. Law school is about tradition and routine and not thinking outside the box and cereal (Im hungry and thought about foods that come out of boxes). Just look at Kirby J; because hes just over there oh and also it supports my point. That its a group suggests they privilege group effort over individual toil; which is blasphemy. Law school is about being alone and hating everyone, like being an inmate in a maximum security prison or a politician. No law student could possibly seek to work in a collegiate fashion, because their natural instinct would be to sabotage their so-called teammates, which would result in simultaneous mutual sabotage, which is like befriending people on Big Brother (which I know nothing about because I never watch the show and know nothing about how B-Rad got evicted last week). That its a group suggests they spend less time studying law than the average student; which is downright preposterous. Any self-respecting law student understands that law is ones priority above all else: work, family and sex. The only instance in which one of those things is not a lesser priority, is if you can combine the law with it: working at the law library, breeding with other law students or breeding with other law students. If these students had any shred of respect for the law, the law school, or the practice of legal education, they would remain in every way discrete and individual, impossibly hard-working, depressed and alone. Charles Hopkins is a member of The study group formerly known as The League.
Haiku Heaven
Write your own haiku here about your current feelings towards life, love, and law.
ANSWERS: (1) Oh, the Places Youll Go! By Dr. Seuss; (2) Lady Macbeth; (3) Dionysos; (4) Morocco; (5) Sarah Palin; (6) Iago; (7) Ice Hockey (simply referred to as hockey); (8) How to Eat (1998); (9) Pope Gregory XIII; (10) Casablanca, said by Rick Blaine played by Humphrey Bogart
De Minimis
De Minimis