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Not Your Grandmothers Domesticity: A Call for Gen Y to Reconsider the Domestic Arts
A Choice
College dorm life, complete with cold cinderblock walls and the constant insatiable longing I felt in the pit of my stomach for real food, was perhaps the foremost experience that gave me an appreciation for the domestic arts. Though I was housed in the Honors dormthe newest, nicest, and most private dorm, and presumably situated with some of the brightest students on campusthe experience lingers on in my mind as a bad memory, one which reminds me how it once felt to be a frustrated middle-school student at summer camp. My dorm could not have been a more ideal situation. I lived in a quad with four other women in which we each had a private room. We shared a central living space and a bathroom without too much quibble, and we even grew to share spiritual events such as laughter and tears. Maybe it was the temperature of the cold tile floors in my bedroom in the morning, or the fact that we didnt have a kitchen, but that place never felt like home, or even a place I could relax. Everyone was always dashing out, and then sauntering in with boyfriends at strange hours, and no one person would even commit to pitching in to buy toilet paper once in a while. Amidst all the traffic and communal chaos, I felt alone in my own sphere without a way to even cook a proper meal for myself. My one escape came from my friend who would call and invite me to make scones with him in the community kitchen of his dorm, often in the wee hours of the morning. Wed knead the dough and talk philosophy and religion, a nice change from the constant preoccupation of typing away at a computer screen. One day it dawned on me. It wasnt so much that I missed my mothers home cooking as that I missed being able to cook for my family. The dorm environment took away one of my greatest joys, the joy of caring for others. After one year, I withdrew from this university to attend a school closer to home and live with my family. Though I received criticism from faculty and friends who were confused by my decision to leave the Honors program at my former university, I knew I had made the right choice. This experience helped me identify and come to grips with the fact one day I dreamed of something more than a career. I am indebted to the feminist movement for giving me the choice to create and pursue my own definition of success.

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The Phenomenon of New Domesticity

For the next several years, I walked around attempting to hide the fact that I considered housework therapeutic and secretly looked Emily Matchar (21) forward to the opportunity to be a parent one day. I felt I especially couldnt reveal my true feelings to anyone in the academic environment. Imagine my surprise when I became aware of the phenomenon that perfectly explained the bizarre fascination I had with all things domestic. It made me feel better to know I was not the only one dreaming of homesteading, and chicken-raising, and homeschooling. Through skipping around on blogs for recipes and natural cleaning solutions, I stumbled upon the term that helped me understand my inner yearnings. New Domesticity is the term popularized by Emily Matchar in her latest contribution to the field of homemaking-related literature, a book called Homeward Bound. In the book, Matchar defines New Domesticity as the trend of current collective nostalgia and domesticity-mania (4), and goes on to describe the reasons and implications of womens return to domesticity. Perhaps a better way to understand the term is to see a picture of the New Domestics Matchar has in mind: Shes the Brooklyn hipster who quit her PR job to sell hand-knitted scarves at craft fairs. Hes the dreadlocked urban homesteader who raises his own chickens to reduce his carbon footprint. Shes the thirty-one-year-old new mom who starts an artisan cupcake company from her home kitchen rather than return to her law firm. Hes the hard-driven Ivy Leaguer fleeing corporate life for a Vermont farm. Shes the food blogger writing winsome odes to the simple pleasures of slow-roasted pork and homemade applesauce. (Matchar 4-5) What would compel these New Domestics to flee the corporate scene and consumer culture? According to Matchar, New Domesticity boils down to anxiety. This anxiety is composed of suspicion of the government and food systems, despair in the economy, and distress for the environment (Matchar 15). Additionally, Matchar reasons that after several years of unfulfilling and mind-numbing work behind a computer, people grow tired of working fo r The Man and disillusioned by the American Dream. Hands-on work then becomes an escape (15).

The domestic DIY movement provides a sense of control over a very out-of-control situation

Social Ills
Though there is an exhaustive list of reasons to practice domesticity ranging from political and economic motivations to environmental and religious convictions, one of the simplest reasons is that domesticity provides a higher quality of life. Many American individuals and families are living on the precipice of chaos. Half of all marriages in end in divorce (CDC Marriage and Divorce), 70 percent of American children live in homes in which all adults are employed (Williams and Boushey), and 69 percent of all American adults over age 20 are overweight and obese (CDC Obesity and Overweight). These numbers denote serious social problems and beg the question of if we really do have a good quality of life. On top of all these things, Americans arent getting any happier. Perhaps part of the problem is that home and family have lost their

Waller 3 priority amidst the struggle to conform to corporate culture and achieve the American dream of robust consumerism, complete with the 4,800 square foot house and the gas-guzzling SUV. Just to set the record straight, feminism was never to blame for the off-kilter work/life balance that has diminished much of the quality of American life. If anything is to blame, the biggest culprit is the economy, which put the pressure on families (and women in particular) to make tough decisions to make ends meet (Matchar 43). How has domesticity and lack thereof changed over time in America? The following timeline illustrates.

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Timeline of Domesticity in America


1600s-1700s: The noble frugal housewife practices domesticity because it is a necessity for her rural family. 1800s: The cult of domesticity rises as industrialization divides work and homemaking into gender specific roles; the ideal wife is expected to be the angel in the house.

First Wave of FeminismSuffrage


Late 1800s-1920s: The scientific approach of home economics strips America of many ethnic traditions and foods in the name of efficiency and modernization. Women envision ways that technical progress will help lighten their loads (creation of cleaning armies, co-op kitchens and childcare). 1920s-1940s: The consumer culture peaks until Great Depression; after the market crashes, women are again encouraged to be purposeful homemakers. 1950s: White women are expected to play the role of happy homemaker. African American women are looked down upon if they decide to stay home.

Second Wave of FeminismEducation, Workplace, and Financial Equality


1960s/1970s: The Womens Liberation Movement/second wave of feminism takes place; Betty Freidmans book The Feminine Mystique is published in 1963. 1970s/1980s/1990s: Domesticity experiences decline; inflation forces women to enter the workforce to provide for families.

Third Wave of FeminismNew Domesticity


Late 1990s-Present: The DIY and the foodie movement propel New Domesticity into the 21 st century. New Domesticity allows women the choice to return to hearth and home if they desire. (Adapted from Matchar 29-45)

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Why New Domesticity?


Domesticity, as noted by the practice of making a home stable and secure, is a task for all individuals to reclaim in order to create a better quality of life. As Jean Zimmerman describes in her book Made from Scratch, Every person in every circumstance needs a homea senior citizen as much as a baby in a brood of twelve, couples who may or may not be legally wed, single parent families, roommates, blended families, foster families, and communities of like people under one roof, such as assisted-care facilities (xiii). In this way, Zimmerman makes clear that domesticity is not relegated to the woman of the house, but to anyone seeking sanctuary and connection in their home (xiii). In fact, she even goes so far as to mention that even those who feel that domesticity is not practical for them because they a have a nontraditional living arrangement have more to gain from the sense of peace that comes from having an established household (Zimmerman xiii). Domesticity allows individuals to take responsibility for political, economic, and environmental concerns (Matchar 15). For instance, through New Domesticity, citizens can take charge of their own work/life balance, live within their means, know their farmers, and raise their kids according to their own family values. Additionally, domesticity, as a choice, allows a refreshing escape from the angst of the office or monotonous tasks such as sitting in front of a computer.

But What about the Advancement of Feminism/the Plight of the Poor/the Social Responsibly to Work towards Collective Issues?
Below are some common contentions and misconceptions against New Domesticity, along with the rebuttals. 1. Feminists worked hard to provide opportunities for women, so women of today owe it to their sisters to continue the legacy New Domesticity is not your grandmothers domesticity. The beauty of post-feminism is that it provides a way for individuals, women in particular, to choose their own definition of success. No longer do they have to be confined to the status of housewives, but they have the freedom to receive advanced education and climb the corporate ladder, if they want to. Womens choices should be celebrated whether they decide to become a member of the board or a breast feeding mom (Belkin). 2. Only the rich can afford New Domesticity As Matchar states, New Domesticity is the re-embrace of home and hearth by those who have the means to reject these things (12). The means does not only refer to money, but the openness to wander off the beaten path in search of true meaning and/or the willingness to sacrifice some things (like a big house, or fancy vacations) to receive greater things (like growing your own food, or teaching your kids to read). Matchar later explains in Homeward Bound that the very rich are actually less likely to engage in New Domesticity because they have resources to buy their way into flexible work schedules and commodities (nannies, organic foods, etc) that take the strain off

Waller 6 of their busy lives and allow them to continue their work. While the lower class is more constrained due to the higher percentage of single parent families, it is a reasonable possibility that one family member of a middle class family may choose to stay home and care for the home. This action is, of course, not without some measure of financial sacrifice, but the trade-off in the long run could prove invaluable. 3. Staying in the home does not address the broad social, political, economic, and environmental issues (inflexible work environments, the health care crisis, oil consumption) Many of the greatest social problems (divorce, behavior problems in children and obesity) start in the home can only be addressed in the home, with time and effort. Though we should not close our front doors to the larger problems waiting just outside, our first priority should be to help ourselves and family members. Just as in an airplane when passengers are told to put their own oxygen masks on first before attempting to help others, we cant save the world if we cant help ourselves and our family members first. In the words of Mother Teresa, What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.

Higher Quality of Life


Practicing New Domesticity, even as a college student or single individual, offers the chance to both live in and prepare for the quality of life you desire. Believe it or not, you live in a different frame of mind when dinner has been reduced to ready-made quesadilla you eat from a paper towel in front of the glow of your computer screen. The call here is simple: take time to slow down and give yourself (and those round you, if you have them) a better quality of life. Time is a non-renewable resource. Consider what domesticity can do for you.

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Works Cited Belkin, Lisa. The Opt-Out Revolution. The New York Times. Nytimes.com, 26 Oct. 2003. Web. 16 Oct. 2013. CDC - National Center for Health Statistics. Marriage and Divorce. http://www.cdc.gov / nchs/fastats/divorce.htm. 17 Oct. 2013. CDC - National Center for Health Statistics. Obesity and Overweight. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs /fastats/overwt.htm. 17 Oct. 2013. Matchar, Emily. Homeward Bound: Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2013. Print. Williams, Joan C. and Heather Boushey. The Three Faces of Work-Family Conflict The Poor, the Professionals, and the Missing Middle. Center for American Progress. Americanprogress.org, 25 Jan 2010. Web. 17 Oct. 2013. Zimmerman, Jean. Made from Scratch: Reclaiming the Pleasures of the American Hearth. New York: Free Press, 2003. Print.

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