For S

The kidney your mother donated was failing. We thought we would save you But you became so short of breath With that scared face you looked up at me and said Help me doctor the shortness of breath was told we were going to save you said! "on#t worry$ we won#t let you stop breathing. We corrected your blood gases till today. %ou still looked scared But you tried so hard to calm down To lie still for us to put a needle deep in your neck. %ou said you would let us do whatever we had to %ou wanted to live. %ou asked if it was okay to drink &anta 'range. The day before you died you wanted &anta 'range. Then today you became unconscious. wanted to do what had promised you (nd not let you stop breathing. wanted to so badly. But we couldn#t. We had to let you die. Because the authorities said you were too sick for another chance at a kidney. )o kidney$ no more trying (nd now you are gone.

For V
The day met you$ you had the fighting spirit. %ou asked me so many *uestions about what was going on. Was it cancer+ Was it TB+ We didn#t have the answers. (nd as we did test after invasive test$ %ou ,ust got weaker and weaker Till you were only skin and bone (nd big brown eyes. %ou stopped asking me *uestions. wondered if you had given up. We wondered if we should give up too. But you looked at me and said$ don#t want to die doctor. %ou had a small son at home. told you we would find this thing that was killing you (nd kill it first. But every blood culture we took showed the same bacteria( bacteria that was sensitive to our treatment$ But ,ust wouldn#t go away. &or . weeks you fought With sepsis raging through your body. )ot responding to treatment. We did more tests and pricked you with needles$ every time trying to give you hope. Telling you not to give up. /ntil yesterday. %our breathing became so fast knew we had lost the battle. There was nothing more we could do. wished you would ,ust make it (nd you fought so hard. Till 0.01 this morning you breathed the air. But then you were gone. )ow look at the side room in the ward standing empty. The empty bed where you lay for 2 weeks. 3emembering the day when you could still sit in a chair before you became so weak that you could only lie. 3emembering how pricked your fragile veins 4 times that day to get a drip up$ (nd instead of crying or telling me to go away$ you started hitting your narrow wrist to get the veins to come up for me. %ou fought so hard. Why couldn#t we help you+ Why did medicine fail you+ Why did we fail you+ Why did fail you+ Why does a son have to lose his mother+ ( mother$ her daughter+ %ou are not here to wonder about these things. %ou are gone now$ 5eaving me to wonder and to cry. 67roote 8chuur Hospital 9114:

granny %our wrinkled face tells me %ou are not the parent 'f the sick malnourished child you bring to me The one that clings now to your frail tired body 7ranny The one you now feed and clothe and nurture. 'h no$ you have raised your children 5ong ago 7ranny But like many other victims of H ; %our children left you in your old age To raise their young. 'h no$ you are tired granny$ and frail %our thin bent body and knobbled hands have worked a lifetime#s work %ou have spent your energy on a family you once had (nd have seen your children die But a generation rests on your shoulders ( generation orphaned by ( "8 (lone in their infancy )eeding you now n your old age.

A grown man cried ( grown man cried in my consulting room today ( man so thin he had a trench dug above his collar bone (nd dimples over his temples ( man who had once been strong and worked hard with his (frican hands Who had been proud and muscular )ow sitting before me Herpes sores around his mouth Hands trembling from weakness (nd he cried cannot take a grown man#s crying ( once strong adult man before me 3avaged by disease and despair have tablets for the disease But what have for the despair+ The despair of this adult man )ow the weight of a small child 8uch pain in his body he flinches at my slightest touch 8uch desperation in his eyes (s he tells me of his incessant coughing His loss of appetite Then He puts his hands to his face and cries feel my soul pour out of my body onto the floor n one helpless puddle don#t know what to say$ what to do$ where to look Have you got pain+ ask (s the words come out know they are so inade*uate 8o feeble hide behind my desk and my pen Writing notes and medication n vain Because$ of all the multi<drug resistant diseases ( grown man#s crying is the worst The despair the most deadly (nd incurable

My First Delivery He was s*uee=ed into this world With all the force his mother could muster 8he screamed in pain and gripped the hospital bed Her vagina tore (nd there he was Wet and wriggling. Welcome to the world thought as cut his cord (nd set him free$ into his mother#s arms Were they loving arms+ wondered 'r tired and weary$ despairing at the thought of another mouth to feed looked at his innocent face$ /nplanned and unwanted Burrowing into his mother#s chest Blissfully unaware of the future ahead of him. prayed for him for love$ affection and acceptance (s delivered the placenta > The last remnant of his previous e?istence. 8tanding over the sluice room sink @y tears ,oined the flow of blood down the drain had been critici=ed &or not supporting the perineum (nd that is why she tore. had been afraid > (fraid of my clumsy hands$ my ignorance$ her H ; infected blood Wasn#t this supposed to be rewarding+ thought %et demorali=ed$ demotivated$ disappointed thought of leaving @owbray @aternity$ leaving @edicine Heading for a life where your mistakes don#t matter so much$ Where pain$ disease and death don#t stare you in the face every day. But dried my eyes with the resolve to carry on Anowing that what doesn#t break you makes you stronger That would rather face my fear that run from it. 8taring at the baby#s tiny fingers wondered who he may one day become hoped that the pain of life would not make him hard That in,ustice would not make him hateful (nd that he might grow from his e?periences in life (s have from my e?perience 'f helping him enter this world. 6 n Bth year @edical 8chool$ 911B: