2 Vol.
XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
news
Even The Main Stacks Need Paper Stacks
By Sarah Asselta
As the world’s information becomes
digitalized, libraries are struggling to
make purchasing decisions between
new and old mediums. Stony Brook’s
Melville Library has been operating on
a shrinking print book allowance, as the
shuffling of money through a stagnant
budget has given priority to subscrip-
tion-based electronic resources.
It is partly due to Stony Brook’s em-
phasis on the sciences, which depends
heavily on pricey, searchable journals
rather than monographs, or scholarly
print texts. “Our journal collection is
heavily digital already,” says Nathan
Baum, Assistant Director of Electronic
Resources. “There is this conception
that these things are free, because it’s on
the web and the web is free,” he says.
“But we pay a lot of money for these re-
sources.”
Electronic databases, such as Sci-
enceDirect, JSTOR and LexisNexis,
tend to lock in purchases with a three-
to-five year contract, eliminating the
ability to negotiate subscriptions with
respect to budget variances from year to
year. In addition, a relatively unchanged
library budget in the past decade actu-
ally depletes the spending allowance
due to inflation. Inflation reduces the
purchasing power of print books ac-
cording to the consumer price index,
typically two-to-four percent annually.
And the inflation rate for journals is ac-
tually much higher, 10% each year.
The Library’s material budget for
the 2007-2008 school year was
$6,988,988. Five years prior, during the
2001-2002 year, it was working with
$6,776,222, and five years before that,
the working budget was $5,358,522.
As the library becomes increasingly
locked into set electronic subscription
costs, coupled with inflation rates, the
remaining allowance reserved for pur-
chasing print resources has been
shrinking every year. Some librarians
say that this creates gaps in the print
collection, as some newer editions can-
not afford to be purchased.“Students as-
sume that an accredited research
institution is supplying them with an
adequate collection of print books,” says
Richard Feinberg, Head Preservation
Librarian. “A sufficient collection would
allow a student to go to the stacks,
browse the shelves, and stumble across
material they never expected to, enrich-
ing their research.”
The tight budget is shaping the li-
brary’s format collection. Publishers
typically sell resources in packages; an
electronic edition, a print edition, and
other possible accessories such as CD’s
and DVD’s. Electronic editions get pri-
ority, says the library administration. It
becomes easier to handle, archive,
search and print. When asked whether
this is better for the library system,
Chris Filstrup, Dean of the Libraries,
says that this is the future. “Our job is to
give people information whatever the
format is, whether it’s using LexisNexis
or digging through the Stacks.”
Balancing between print and elec-
Laura Paesano
tronic resources has been a complicated
issue for years, says Aimee DeCham-
beau, e-Resources Librarian. But as e-
journals, e-books and online databases
rapidly expand, book shelves could get
lonely. “It’s not a temporary shift,” she
says, “It’s here to stay.”
Subject specialists advise the library
administration in purchases, making
the acquired list a collaborative effort
between faculty, academics, librarians
and a Library Senate Committee that
ensures the money is used efficiently.
Close collaboration with other state
schools allow for no more than two
Caitlin Ferrell
SUNY schools to purchase the same
monograph. Interlibrary loans enable
the sharing within the system, cutting
back unnecessary spending. “When
you don’t have much money, you are
very particular,” says Filstrup.
With such a small print book
budget, priority of purchases is going
only to support the courses and the cur-
riculum. If a professor will be teaching
the material, the library acquires it.
Susan Lieberthal, the Business and In-
terlibrary Loan librarian, says the peo-
ple that are suffering the most due to
the stagnant monograph collection are
the researchers in the Humanities, who
rely heavily on dated, often obscure ma-
terial. “If you’re studying in the history
department, and your thesis is on
‘women’s novels in 18th century Amer-
ica,’ you’re going to need a lot of books,”
says Lieberthal.
Libraries are strange animals. “The
provost views us as black holes, because
we require so much money but don’t
generate any revenue,” says Lieberthal.
However, an extensive research library
tends to mirror the credentials of an ac-
ademic institute.
This is where a library’s priorities
may be shifting. In the past, a library’s
collection value was often measured by
hefty card catalogs. Nowadays, a qual-
ity resource collection may be redefin-
ing itself in light of diverging formats,
as long as funds grow to compensate for
the increasing costs and conveniences
of all things digital.
The next step for the library is the
accumulation of WorldCat, a non-
profit, member-regulated network of 50
million library records and growing. It
allows students to locate books nation-
wide, send out an interlibrary request,
and receive it within two-to-four days.
“I’m not saying it’s the same thing as
going to the stacks and browsing, I un-
derstand that,” says Filstrup, “These
days of huge print collections—brows-
ing and serendipity—they’re gone.”
As for the budget dilemma, library
administrators remain somewhere be-
tween optimistic and realistic. “There
are a lot of things that I wish we could
buy, but you have to live within the
budget situation.” The library received
a modest victory this year, receiving a
$100,000 increase in “tech fees,” grow-
ing the printed book budget from
$300,000 from last year to $400,000 this
year.
“The budget will always be an
issue,” says Filstrup. “I think we’re man-
aging our money well.”
 The Stony Brook Press
SSK’s Final Convocation:
Recounting of Past Accomplishments Does Little to
Assuage Fears of Budget Crises
By Najib Aminy
In her final convocation as Presi-
dent, Shirley Strum Kenny addressed a
packed audience of Stony Brook faculty
and students alike, highlighting mo-
ments of her fourteen-year term. Em-
phasizing the importance of Stony
Brook University to New York State,
President Kenny dedicated a significant
amount of her speech lamenting the
budget cuts threatening both Stony
Brook and the SUNY budget.
Stony Brook has already sustained
a $7.4 million loss as part of the $50
million cut from the SUNY budget and
is anticipating another $5.5 million cut.
Kenny said the problem that Stony
Brook and other SUNY and CUNY
Universities face is not a “temporary
discomfort,” but a need to state the im-
portance of such institutions. “They are
not mere social gestures; they are not
safety nets; they are economic and so-
cial bedrock. They are our hope for the
future, our guarantee against losing our
primacy as a State,” said the 73-year-old
Texas native.
Kenny went over the progression
and evolution of Stony Brook Univer-
sity to emphasize the importance of
why funding is so important. Citing an
economic study on the Long Island
economy, Kenny called Stony Brook
University the economic engine of Long
Island. With $1.8 billion invested into
Everyone was all smiles at the after-party.
3
the budget, Stony Brook is responsible
for a return of $4.7 billion in the eco-
nomic activity of Long Island. “And be-
sides that, we are educating the next
generation of scientists and business
leaders,” added Kenny.
In terms of academia, Kenny
boasted statistics of an increasing fresh-
man class alongside a positive correla-
tion of increased SAT scores. Along side
the growing freshman class, Stony
Brook’s number of applicants has dou-
bled since Kenny’s inception as Presi-
dent in 1994; jumping up 103%, making
Stony Brook the SUNY school with the
highest number of applicants. “Only 37
four-year institutions in the country
had more applications than Stony
Brook; we had more applications than
Stanford, Harvard, or Yale among oth-
ers,” said Kenny.
The most important event, as
Andrew Fraley
Shirley prepares to “let us down gently” so to speak.
Kenny described in her fourteen years,
was Stony Brook’s admittance to the As-
sociation of American Universities in
inception alongside Texas A&M in is speculated to increase sharply after
2001, a prestigious organization formed
2001, no other university has been ad- the November election. In talks of the
in 1900 to “declare the equality of top
mitted. cuts, Kenny said, “if our present dire sit-
American universities with those in Eu-
In touching upon the many Univer- uation is a temporary—one year—prob-
rope and to work together to ensure
sity projects she had worked on, such as lem, we can handle it, though
high quality in U.S. graduate degrees,”
the remodeling of the Javits Lecture unquestionably with discomfort, by
according to its mission statement.
Hall, the deconstruction of the Bridge redirecting some of our funding in-
Stony Brook joins the likes of Harvard,
tended for equipment services.” How-
Princeton, MIT in addition to the only
ever, if the budget dilemma prolongs
one other SUNY school, the University
into the coming years, “we have a very
of Buffalo. “For 44 years our aspiration “...students could wind up different situation,” said Kenny. Believ-
had been election to this association of
the the top research universities, public
paying an increased tu- ing in keeping tuition as low as possible
ition for the same, if not for students, Kenny is, as she said,
and private, in North America.” Since its
“angry when students end up getting
reduced services...” large tuition increases when the State
decreases support for the university.”
What stifles Kenny more is the fact that
to Nowhere, the renovation of the Aca- students could wind up paying an in-
demic Mall, and the building up of a Di- creased tuition for the same, if not re-
vision-I athletic program, President duced services that is currently
Kenny mentioned how student tuition provided, due to the budget cuts.
at Stony Brook has increased only once In closing her final State of the Uni-
in the past thirteen years, the last of versity address, President Kenny said
which was in 2003. Throughout that the educational institutions of America,
time, the undergraduate student popu- especially in New York, are facing trou-
lation increased 40% from 17,200 to bling challenges and added that finan-
24,000. With the increase of students cial support of public higher education
came the increase of faculty and staff must be stressed to every local politi-
which rose 24% in the same period, ul- cian. “What we do here is vitally impor-
timately from 11,200 to 13,900 paid tant. Those we teach here are the
professionals. “Clearly we need funding nation’s hope for tomorrow. The re-
appropriate to our research mission— search we do is key to health and pros-
more money per student, not less,” said perity in the future. But we must have
Kenny. the funding necessary to achieve our
With the strong possibility of a net mission,” said Kenny closing off her
Najib Aminy
$13 million cut in the Stony Brook speech to a thunderous applause and
budget, changes will inevitably occur to standing ovation.
make up for the loss of money. Tuition
 4 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Editorial Board
Executive Editor
editorials
James Laudano
Tall n blond w da legzz
Emma Kobolakis
MASKED MENACES TERRORIZE
Associate Editor
Najib Aminy
Business Manager
CAMPUS!
Katie Knowlton Misguided Vigilante “Justice.” A shameful faces behind cheap Hal- the ranks of these “super heroes,” get-
Production Manager Security Threat: loween masks, achieving total ting himself bit in the Chemistry
Inquire Within anonymity. They could be anyone – tower, or throwing himself at some-
Stony Brook is more than just a your roommate, your TA, or that un- thing he’s unsure of on the fifth floor
News Editors school. For many, it is also a home.
Laura Cooper washed townie you buy your pot from. of physics. The Scarlet Seawolf ’s risky
Jake Conarck And every American has a God-given The chill that has descended upon our brand of vigilante “justice” only de-
right to be safe in his own home. That population isn’t just the first winds of tracts from the true heroism of people
Features Editor
Alex Nagler right is in danger as we speak, dear autumn, it’s the loss of faith in one an- like my son, US astronaut John Jame-
readers! The vile blight of crime has other, and the shattering of a bond be- son, and Doug Little, that paragon of
Arts Editor descended upon our beloved campus.
Andrew Fraley tween us all. Who can you trust? law enforcement who’s warned us
Masked bandits who dare not show I’ll tell you who you can’t trust – about “the bad guys” for so many
Photo Editors their faces wander our roads, trails, the Scarlet Seawolf! That reckless vigi- years.
Tia Mansouri and multi-colored paths under the
Roman Sheydvasser lante is every bit as crooked as the Make no mistake; the Scarlet Sea-
cover of darkness! Campus Cadaver Crew he claims to be wolf is no hero. He’s in cahoots with
Copy Editors On September 18, at approxi-
Cindy Liu tracking down. If the Scarlet Seawolf is those thieves, and this fine paper will
Chris Mellides mately 11:40pm, an innocent civilian really on our side, why won’t he show give top billing to any photographer
Kelly Yu was accosted by three hooligans us his face? who can prove it. Catch him revealing
Webmaster
dressed as skeletons while he walked Not only is he hiding something, his true nature, and we’ll put you on
Chris Williams along the pathway between the Com- he’s also setting a dangerous example. the cover! I don’t care if he’s littering or
puting Center and Circle Road. This In no time, we’ll have all kinds of throwing President Kenny under a
Audiomaster
Inquire Within upright young man was robbed of his masks and capes running around, en- bus, as long as he’s breaking a law. Get
possessions, but the greater loss was dangering our safety and their own me one incriminating picture of this
Ombudsman what was taken from all of us that
Jowy Romano with no accountability. No self-re- Scarlet Seawolf! No, make it five. Ten.
night – peace of mind. specting “Stony Brooker” should sup- One hundred! We need photos,
These costumed cowards hid their port any fellow student trying to join dammit!

Minister of Archives
Jesse Schopefer Hello, and welcome to this issue’s entry in the “SSK Fourteen Years, Fourteen Moments” Countdown!
Last issue we opened the coundown with moment number fourteen, e SSK Arts Festival Fiasco of Spring
Layout Design by
2008. For this issue’s moment -- number thirteen on the list -- we are going to stay in the Spring 2008 semester and re-
Jowy Romano live the Touro Law School mixup. We promise to go further back in time for our next issue’s entry, so don’t worry.

Staff
Please enjoy this entry, and without further ado...

Kotei Aoki
Habib Aminy
Rebecca Kleinhaut
Iris Lin
The Touro Law Deal Dies Before It Even Begins
Ross Barkan Frank Loiaccono
Raina Bedford Mariana Martins President Kenny has always a very quisition attempt was just one of sev- school anytime in the forseeable fu-
Matt Braunstein Justin Meltzer
Tony Cai Leeza Menon ambitious president. Included in her eral bizarre projects seen last year (an- ture.
Canteloupe Chris Mellides
J.C. Chan James Messina list of accomplishments are the ex- other was determining the feasibility This year, with the grave budget
Doug Cion Steve McLinden
Caroline D’Agati Chris Oliveri pansion of Stony Brook to include a of building a monorail on campus). crisis threatening the basic operations
Joe Donato Ben van Overmeire Manhattan campus and the brutal However, before any of this was even of the school, Shirley has had to put
Nick Eaton Grace Pak
Michael Felder Rob Pearsall (kind of) acquisition of Southampton officially announced, Shirley declared her ambitions on hold. She must focus
Vincent Michael Festa Andrew Pernick
Joe Filippazzo Jon Pu College. Her imperialism is never the deal “dead.” Touro was not for sale, her now limited capital budget to one
Amelia Fischer Aamer Qureshi quite sated, however, and last year she even to someone of President Kenny’s capital project. So, as she is wont to
Jamie Freiermuth Nirmala Ramsaran
Ilyssa Fuchs Kristine Renigen made yet another attempt. This time gravitas. The whole thing really blew declare, she will focus on what is most
Rob Gilheany Berta Rezik
David Knockout Ginn Dave Robin with Touro Law School in Central up in her face with extensive coverage important: our school’s academics.
Joanna Goodman Joe Safdia
Stephanie Hayes Natalie Schultz
Islip. As a part of the capital budget, in all the local Long Island media out- And she’ll do this by building a new
Marta Gyvel Scott Silsbe which is a separate budget for new lets. Stony Brook is now left without recreational center
Mo Ibrahim Rose Slupski
Andrew Jacob Amberly Timperio construction and expansion, this ac- any plans to built or acquire a law
Elizabeth Kaplan Lena Tumasyan
Alexander Kahn Marcel Votlucka
Olga Kaplun Alex Walsh
Jack Katsman Brian Wasser
Liz Kaufman Matt Willemain

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The Stony Brook Press
E-mail your letters to sbpressnews@gmail.com
John Derbyshire Comes To SBU!
By Natalie Cronsija
The Patriot, Stony Brook Univer-
sity’s conservative publication, hosted a
lecture given by right-wing, British-
born author and blogger John Der-
byshire on September 25 to elucidate
the true nature of American Conser-
vatism. His nationality aside, Der-
byshire is a “true” American
conservative and apart from his proud
homophobia and racism, he is “mild
and tolerant” in his bigotry. His claim
to “see humanity plain” umbrellas his
belief that homophobia and racism are
“core to humanity” in the tribal/hunter-
gatherer sense of what it is to be human.
It is this “plain” view, this primal,
“Quest for Fire” mentality that was ap-
plied to each issue addressed. The pre-
Neolithic conservatism of keeping all
the nuts and berries in one pile without
anyone putting their dirty, foreign
hands on them is, essentially, the con-
servative economic policy from the
dawn of time, and has since been lost to
a world where even cavemen have car
insurance.
This olde type of conservatism or,
paleo-con, is rather infrequent now as
the Republican party fluxes between
“cons”—from neo-cons to theo-cons to
bio-cons—and now, as The Patriot’s
Alaxander Chamessian said, “I don’t
know what it exactly means to be con-
servative.” John Derbyshire’s incarna-
tion of conservatism, the type that
apparently lies somewhere between sed-
What a charming looking chap!
imentary layers of rock, is the first and
most American of them all.
The economy was the bleed-Amer-
ican soft spot Mr. Derbyshire began to
analyze first. The prevailing economic
apocalypse echoes of the ancient death
of Coolidge conservatism in the 1930’s,
when FDR took his big gun, took aim
and shot the “last dodo bird of conser-
vatism,” and laid it as a pagan sacrifice
to save the country from death. Wall
Street is, as the prophets foretold, the
new Sodom with sulfur clouds on the
way. The government’s big, meaty paws
have never left the American purse
(rather pocket, ‘cause “purse” might be
too gay). Another part of the problem is
the illegal immigrant population, which
only takes and takes and never gives
back (and of whom Mr. Derbyshire was
a member from the early 1970s until
2002). America is an “assimilationist”
country according to Derbyshire, who
cites diversity and the public “cherish-
ing of identity” as the chief force de-
5
stroying the American social
fabric. Thank you, Stony Brook Cultural
Associations! You’re breaking America!
Derbyshire does believe that most
Americans view the Iraq War as a mis-
take. He learned the hard way that the
British, imperialist “blow up the Sultan’s
palace” approach does not pan out as
well as it did in the days of Lawrence of
Arabia, old boy. This basic foreign pol-
icy, which “doesn’t take Muslims seri-
ously,” is encouraging a worldview that
brushes off Russia as a place that
Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin “can see
from her house.”
“I need to leave…now…” said a stu-
dent who identified herself as a “gay,
hippie liberal” as the lecture ended. She
had come to the lecture with two
friends who identified themselves as
moderate Republicans and expressed
concern that The Patriot, would have
such an “extremist” speak to students so
close to an election of “change.” Of
change, Mr. Derbyshire was not sup-
portive, for how can humans change
fundamental human nature, or at least
resurrect Calvin Coolidge’s petrified
corpse to save the day? “Liberals, they
pretend [these fundamental prejudices]
don’t exist, and I don’t like them.”
 6 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Amazing SpiderShirl: Richard Nasti
and the Scholary Six
By Alex Nagler
For those of you who don’t know,
President Kenny is retiring at the end of
the year. A committee, headed by alum-
nus Richard Nasti, has been formed to
find her replacement. Last week, elec-
tions were held by the faculty to choose
six representatives to serve on the com-
mittee. When the ballots were counted,
the following six professors emerged as
the chosen representatives of the faculty
body to select the person who, Albany
Willing, will be the next President of
Stony Brook University. These six pro-
fessors constitute a wide variety of cam-
pus departments. Among their ranks
are a Professor of Marine Biogeochem-
istry, a Nurse Practitioner and Dean of
the School of Nursing, Professor and
Chair of the Department of Technology
and Society in the College of Engineer-
ing and Applied Sciences, an English
Professor, a History Professor, and a
Professor of Medicine, Microbiology,
Pathology and Pharmacology.
Together, they make up a wide slice
of Stony Brook academic life and we
wish them well as they embark on their
quest to find the next President of Stony
Brook University. Our thanks go out to
Richard Nasti for agreeing to work with
us.
Robert C. Aller
Robert Aller is a Distinguished Profes-
sor of Marine Biogeochemistry in the
School of Marine and Atmospheric Sci-
ences, with affiliated appointment in
the Department of Geosciences at Stony
Brook University. He is an expert on
biogeochemical cycling processes and
animal-sediment interactions in marine
deposits, particularly tropical deltaic,
coastal, and continental margin envi-
ronments. He received a B.S. in Biol-
ogy-Geology and a B.A. in Chemistry,
both with Highest Distinction from the
University of Rochester in 1972, and a
M.Phil. (1974) and Ph.D.(1977) in Ge-
ology and Geophysics from Yale Uni-
versity. He rose to the rank of Professor
of Geophysical Sciences at the Univer-
sity of Chicago from 1977 - 1986, and
subsequently moved to Stony Brook
University with his wife Josephine Aller,
who is also on the faculty at SBU. Their
youngest daughter, Deborah, is a soph-
omore at Stony Brook. Prof. Aller is a
Fellow of the American Geophysical
Union, the European Association of
Geochemistry, and the Geochemical
Society. He has received honorary doc-
torates from Göteborg Université, Swe-
den and the Université de la
Méditerranée (Aix-Marseille II),
France, and was awarded the Division
of Geochemistry Medal in 2007 by the
American Chemical
Society. He was a soccer and basketball
coach in the Three Village community
for 10 years, and serves as a director of
the Stony Brook Environmental Con-
servancy.
Ora J. Bouey
Ms. Ora James Bouey is a Nurse Practi-
tioner, Professor and Associate Dean,
School of Nursing. Professor Bouey has
held two major administrative roles and
served as coordinator and/or Director
of different programs on site and inter-
nationally. During her tenure at Stony
Brook University, she has had firsthand
experience within inter- professional
groups and has consistently represented
the interests of the students, faculty and
staff of the HSC. During the ‘80s, Pro-
fessor Bouey was the first Chair of the
Department of Adult Health Nursing
which under her tutelage was developed
into the largest department in the
School of Nursing.
Professor Bouey has presented papers
and continues to serve on local state,
national, and international committees,
advocating for the University at large. In
1980, she received the Chancellor’s
Award for Excellence in Teaching. Re-
cently, she received the AFT’s Living the
Legacy Award for 2008. This award is
presented to women who have: Pro-
vided leadership and demonstrated in-
terest in issues of women’s rights;
maintained multiple decades of in-
volvement in local, state and national
affiliates; acted as mentors, coaches &
role models for other women; and been
recognized as a leader in her own com-
munity.
Professor Bouey graduated from Stony
Brook University and New York Uni-
versity.
David L. Ferguson
David L. Ferguson is Distinguished
Service Professor and Chair of the De-
partment of Technology and Society in
the College of Engineering and Applied
Sciences at Stony Brook University. Dr.
Ferguson has been director or co-direc-
tor of numerous projects, including
eight National Science Foundation proj-
ects, aimed at improving undergradu-
ate and graduate education in science,
technology, engineering and mathe-
matics (STEM).
He is coordinator for the Math and
Computer Science cluster of Science
Education for New Civic Engagement
and Responsibility (SENCER), an NSF-
funded National Dissemination grant.
Professor Ferguson is Director of the
NSF-funded SUNY LSAMP and SUNY
AGEP programs—aimed at increasing
the participation of underrepresented
minority students in STEM. His re-
search includes quantitative modeling,
problem solving, educational technolo-
gies, and decision making. His awards
include the U. S. Presidential Award for
Excellence in Science, Mathematics and
Engineering Mentoring (PAESMEM),
the Archie Lacey Award of the New
York Academy of Sciences, and the En-
gineering Educator Award of the Joint
Committee on Engineering of Long Is-
land.
Peter J. Manning
Peter Manning graduated from Harvard
College and earned his MA and Ph.D in
English Language and Literature from
Yale University. He taught at the Uni-
versity of California, Berkeley, and the
University of Southern California, from
both of which he received awards for
excellence in teaching, before coming to
Stony Brook as Chair of the Depart-
ment of English in 2000. He is a spe-
cialist in literature of the British
Romantic period, and has written or ed-
ited several books in the field. He has
been given the Distinguished Scholar-
ship Award of the Keats-Shelley Associ-
ation, and held fellowships from the
Guggenheim Foundation and the Na-
tional Endowment for the Humanities.
Gar y J. Marker
Dr. Gary Marker has been a member of
the Stony Brook faculty, in the Depart-
ment of History, since 1979. His field of
expertise is Russian history, with a spe-
cial emphasis on the early modern pe-
riod. He is the author of many works
touching upon print culture, gender, re-
ligion, education, and political author-
ity. He is a former chair of History,
former Graduate Director, and he cur-
rently serves on the UUP Executive
Committee as academic grievance offi-
cer for west campus.
Roy T. Steigbigel
Dr Steigbigel is Professor of Medicine,
Microbiology, Pathology and Pharma-
cology at the medical school at Stony
Brook. He received his bachelor’s de-
gree from Carleton College and the MD
degree from the University of
Rochester. His subsequent training was
also at Rochester as well as in the U. S.
Public Health Service and at Stanford
University. After 10 years on the faculty
at the University of Rochester he came
to Stony Brook in 1983 to found the Di-
vision of Infectious Diseases and,
shortly thereafter, the AIDS Treatment
and Research Center. He has been ac-
tive in research, (with uninterrupted ex-
ternal funding since arriving at Stony
Brook) and in multiple aspects of edu-
cation, including the development and
direction of courses. He serves on nu-
merous national, regional, university-
wide and medical school committees.
He is now President of the School of
Medicine Faculty Senate.
The Stony Brook Press News 7

Where Have You Gone, NYPIRG?

$125,000. was going,” said one USG senator, who plus benefits, while the interns earned
By Jon Singer Articles in past issues of both The Stony requested to remain anonymous. To academic credit. “It’s just a more
Brook Press and The Statesman docu- fight for issues of higher education, broader program than the average club,”
mented NYPIRG activities over the past NYPIRG employs staff members work- says Morrison. This year The Stony
Many Stony Brook students never year. One event, ‘80s Night, involved ing in Albany. “They’re working full Brook Press will publish its newspapers
knew what NYPIRG was. But that does- students dressing up in whatever Teen time on behalf of students right up there with $32,000 in budget allocation, while
n’t matter anymore, because NYPIRG at Wolf would wear to learn about the his- in the capital, because that’s where the the Meteorology Club will predict the
Stony Brook no longer exists. tory of recycling. The March 13 issue of decisions about tuition and financial aid weather with $2,203. While NYPIRG at
For almost thirty years leading up The Statesman reported a crowd of are being made,” says Morrison. “The Stony Brook now has no budget, chap-
to the current fall semester, The New about forty students at ‘80s Night, average student isn’t going to spend fifty ters remain funded and popular at some
York Public Interest Research Group which was co-hosted by the Stony hours a week talking to elected officials New York schools. But the organiza-
had a chapter at Stony Brook, one of Brook Environmental Club. about higher education.” tion’s presence is a source of controversy
twenty-one campus chapters across the In the wake of ‘80s Night and mul- Morrison says that with NYPIRG, at others.
state. Founded in 1973, NYPIRG is the tiple other campaigns, projects and unlike CDs, CRs or Hillel, there is no In July, a group of CUNY students
consumer, environmental and govern- events, NYPIRG at Stony Brook proper parent organization. “The clos- filed suit against NYPIRG, protesting
ment reform organization that helped planned a full program for the 08-09 ac- est thing to it would be the student how the organization collects funds
pass the Generic Drug Law, replenish from student ac-
the superfund pro- tivity fees. Brady
gram, and broaden says that like any
the Tuition Assis- other institu-
tance Program. Of tion, the USG
all the organization’s senate “has it’s
missions, one thing own culture.”
NYPIRG always did Brady wants to
was voter registra- see NYPIRG
tion. Last year, a back on campus,
non-election year, but at the same
NYPIRG at Stony time he shares
Brook registered the board with
around 1700 voters. incumbents
This year, with who thought
no NYPIRG, voter that last year
registration for the NYPIRG wasn’t
November 4 presi- doing anything.
dential election is And when all
primarily the job of was said and
partisan groups done, those
such as the College present day
Democrats. The
Andrew Fraley
incumbents
Undergraduate Stu- Dark, empty and locked: The scene at the NYPIRG office these days. passed a budget
dent Government that allocated $0
has also been regis- for NYPIRG.
tering new voters, but without a non- ademic year, requesting $150,000 from board of directors,” he says. That board, “From our perspective it’s starting to
partisan activist group on campus, USG the USG. Like all other clubs, this comprised entirely of students and seem like an ideological thing,” says
senator Kevin Brady sees a void that money would have come from the elected by students, hires NYPIRG’s ex- Morrison. “This small group of students
needs to be filled. mandatory $94.25 student activity fee ecutive directors, passes the organiza- with all the power seemed to oppose
“As a new senator, I’m still answer- that Stony Brook undergraduates pay tion’s budget and chooses the issues that NYPIRG’s work.”
ing these questions as we go along and each year. NYPIRG will work on. With the USG budget, student
asking more detailed versions,” says Andrew Morrison is a NYPIRG re- “Given the terms we have right politicians debate over a plan worth
Brady. As the November election is ap- gional supervisor, and has been repre- now, in the state economically and then nearly $3,000,000. Voter turnout for
proaching and state budget cuts in the senting NYPIRG in their current quest eventually financially and budgetary student elections at Stony Brook are
$13 million range are affecting all as- to get back on the USG budget. “The wise, you never want to be lacking some commonly low; only seven percent of
pects of higher education, the question money that is used to support a additional activists resources,” says eligible voters cast their ballot last April.
for some at Stony Brook is: Where is NYPIRG chapter, every dime of it that’s Brady. The new senator went to Thus it’s hard to determine if the USG
NYPIRG? used from the Stony Brook student ac- NYPIRG meetings last semester, which senate is a representation of the student
Brady, who won a senate seat in the tivity fee benefits the students here.” he says were well attended. “It seems body and their views. An inquiry to
most recent USG election, joined a leg- This becomes an issue when like they had a lot on their plate. They three random freshmen sitting in the
islative body whose budget committee NYPIRG, like other clubs including may not have been glamorous or sexy, Union’s fireside lounge revealed zero
had allocated $0 to NYPIRG in the College Democrats, College Republi- but they were trying to do different name recognition for NYPIRG and a
2008-2009 USG budget. Next to cans and The Hillel Foundation For things as they always are.” low familiarity of USG. Last year, edu-
NYPIRG, the sidebar of the budget doc- Jewish Life, are local chapters of a A full NYPIRG program at Stony cating students about USG was a job of
ument says “did not spend budget in 07- broader organization. “We were sup- Brook included two full time project co- NYPIRG’s.
08.” porting a national organization and we ordinators and a number of student in-
The 07-08 NYPIRG budget was couldn’t figure out where our money terns. The coordinators earned a salary
 8 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

features
Physics Makes Us All Its Bitches
GOD particle, the Higgs Boson is be- ment such as data acquisition and up-
By Najib Aminy and Will Dunn lieved to be responsible for allocating grading research and development.
mass to an atom due to the properties Currently, Tysbychev and other Stony
of the strong force. Stony Brook’s own Brook staff members are working on
Three-thousand eight-hundred Physic’s staff member, Dmitri Tysby- conditioning and calibrating detectors
and sixteen miles east of Stony Brook chev, who is currently working at in ensuring that they operate
University, just outside Geneva, CERN, said, “if the Higgs Boson is smoothly.
Switzerland, CERN scientists are ac- present, the LHC will pick it up.” The A large part of ATLAS’ design and
celerating atoms at 99.9995% the LHC is the first particle accelerator ca- function was due in part to
speed of light through the Large pable of detecting the Higgs Boson Brookhaven’s STAR experiment at the
Hadron Collider in what is the largest due to its sheer size and its ability to RHIC. The concept, simple in theory,
and most expensive scientific project
ever to take place in human history.
Thirteen miles east of Stony Brook
University, Brookhaven scientists are
working on a precursor model of the
LHC, called the Relativistic Heavy Ion
Collider. In both projects, Stony Brook
has contributed significantly with nu-
merous personnel working at each lo-
cation.
Within a particle accelerator such
as LHC and RHIC, two beams of par-
ticles are accelerated to velocities ap-
proaching the speed of light. Upon
reaching these speeds, the two beams
will collide resulting in a small-scale
Big Bang phenomenon. As
Brookhaven Scientist and part-time
Stony Brook Physics professor Todd
Satogata said, “the energy generated
through a particle collision is compa-
rable to the collision of two mosqui-
toes.” However, the relative energy
density—the amount of energy in a
given space—for a particle collision is

The STAR detector

exponentially greater than two mos-
quitoes colliding due to the massive
amounts of energy in such a small
area.
Within each project, different ex-
periments are run to analyze all as-
pects of particle collisions. These
experiments will allow scientists to
understand “what the world is made
out of,” as ATLAS Operations Deputy
Manager Howard Gordon said. Stony
Brook is most involved with the
ATLAS experiment, a detector respon-
sible for tracking particles resulting
from collisions, in the LHC. ATLAS’
design was based primarily on
Brookhaven’s own STAR project at the
RHIC, which serves a similar purpose.
In participating in both RHIC and the
LHC, Stony Brook has joined the col-
laborative world effort in answering
some of the most fundamental ques-
tions posed to the Standard Physics
Model.
This model could be proven true
or flawed with the detection of the
Higgs Boson. If detected, the model
will prove true; if absent, scientists will
be forced to readjust the accepted un-
derstanding of physics. Also called the
produce velocities closer to the speed
of light then ever before. “We will be
able to detect whether Higgs exists or
not because of the luminosity and the
high momentum quark collisions tak-
ing place,” said ATLAS Operations
Deputy Program Manager Howard
Gordon of Brookhaven National Labs.
Luminosity is the number of colli-
sions, which is increased due to a
larger ring size at CERN than com-
pared to smaller accelerators.
If the Higgs particle was to be de-
tected, it would be either at ATLAS or
a similar experiment, called CMS, that
track particles after collision. ATLAS
and CMS serve to record and track the
result of particle collisions.
Brookhaven scientist Gene van Buren
explained the purpose of ATLAS as
“lighting a firecracker and putting the
firecracker back together.” By analyz-
ing the pieces of the fire cracker im-
mediately after the explosion
properties about the whole firecracker
can be determined, added van Buren.
Both Stony Brook and Brookhaven
play a large role in the ATLAS experi-
though highly complex in practice is
designed to record a digital photo-
graph of particles immediately after
collisions. According to van Buren, the
STAR takes a thousand photos per sec-
ond, tracking post-collision particle
trajectories. The ATLAS and CMS de-
tector serve the same function; only
the ATLAS and CMS are more ad-
vanced, bigger and capable of record-
ing faster collisions.
Critics of the LHC have sparked
controversy citing the possibility of
creating black holes that could destroy
the world. When asked about black
holes, Gordon confirmed that the
LHC will be accelerating particles fast
enough to create black holes. But Gor-
don cited Cambridge professor Steven
Hawkins’ theory on black holes, stat-
ing that a black hole needs excessive
amounts of energy to sustain itself. In
addition, the mass of the colliding
atoms would be so small that the hole
would only exist for a few moments
and disappear within a fraction of a
second. Should a black hole form, it
would be “conjectured to produce
The Stony Brook Press
PHYSICS continued from page 8
spectacular signatures and would not
be confused with standard interac-
tions,” said Gordon.
The LHC fired up in early Septem-
ber but due to a leak in the helium
pipes, the collider will be inactive
while repairs are being made. The
LHC is to start up again in early spring
during the same time in which RHIC
will be reactivated. This delay has in-
creased anticipation for the results of
LHC and the possible answers to the
fundamental questions of the Standard
Physics Model, and more exciting, to
the new questions that may be posed.
As Van Buren said, what goes on in
both RHIC and the LHC “is important
Sex and the City, But No Sex In The Brook?
By Cindy Liu and Kelly Yu
Every year, the freshman packs in-
clude things that students will only look
at once, throw in the closet, and never
look at again. Deep down in the bags,
an innocent freshman used to find con-
dom packs supplied by the Center for
Prevention and Outreach (CPO). This
year, the infamous condom packs were
missing.
Included with one Lifestyle and one
Trojan condom was literature about
sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
and safe sex. According to Associate
Dean and Director of CPO Jenny
Hwang, “We are focusing on providing
condom packs in contexts where there
is opportunity to provide educational
information about safer sex practices.”
Replacing the mandatory condoms in
the packs was a voluntary event, “Con-
dom Casino,” in which students gam-
bled with condoms that could be
exchanged for prizes. One girl left with
flip-flops.
CPO, an on-campus organization,
devotes itself to educating and promot-
ing the general well-being of the indi-
vidual. Their services include
counseling for students, education
through faculty and student peer edu-
cators, and advocacy services. In addi-
tion to education, they provide
condoms for other non-CPO events,
such as RA-organized activities for
campus residents. The condoms pro-
vided come in boxes of 1,000. It costs
$62 for a box of Lifestyle and $90 for a
box of Trojans. These boxes are given
to groups seeking to organize events
that will in some way educate students
about responsible sex. Students can ob-
because it helps scientists understand
the Universe. This understanding can
be put to [more practical] use down
the road.”
Only thirteen miles away, scien-
tists are engaged in this cutting edge
research in hopes of making the un-
known known. Stony Brook, in con-
junction with Brookhaven, have
established their roles in the scientific
world with its involvement in such
groundbreaking research and look to
pave the way to the evolution of
physics. As Satogata said, “it is impor-
tant for locals to know what is in their
backyard such as this world class facil-
ity.”
tain free condoms through school-and
RA-sponsored events; however, finding
condoms otherwise is more difficult
than one might think. When asked,
“Where would you go to get condoms
on campus?” the average student an-
swered, “The vending machines at Kelly
Dining or the Student Union.” How-
ever, these vending machines are not al-
ways stocked, nor are they accessible to
students who may live farther away
(such as Tabler, Roth, and H quad resi-
dents). The Student Union closes at
midnight, and it seems very unlikely
one would make the run to the vending
machines to pay $1 for only two con-
doms. The prices for condoms on cam-
pus vary. They range from $1 for four at
the Student Health Center pharmacy to
$2.49 for three at the Seawolves Mar-
ketplace. These rates pale in compari-
son to other SUNY schools, such as
SUNY Oswego, which sell ten condoms
for $1.
CPO runs the program Choosing
Healthy Options In the College/Cam-
pus Environment (C.H.O.I.C.E.), which
specializes in training peer educators to
advise other students on matters of
physical wellness, including sexual ac-
tivity. According to Kathleen Valerio, a
previous instructor for C.H.O.I.C.E,
“the topics covered were related to phys-
ical health – cancer risk awareness, safer
sex, and overall health and wellness,
which included nutrition.” However,
this semester, the new instructor for
C.H.O.I.C.E., Ellen Driscoll, will be
teaching a new curriculum. This new
curriculum will focus on addiction and
sexual assault. They will integrate sex
into situations involving substance
abuse and assault, but do not mention
if they will also talk about healthy sex
practices, such as contraceptives. Ac-
cording to Kathleen Valerio, “We had to
9
features
find a better way of addressing student
requests in a more effective way…Sta-
tistically speaking, addiction and sexual
assault will have a greater impact upon
student life in the here and now.”
A focus on safe sex is put aside for a
focus on alcohol and substance abuse in
the context of rape and sexual assault.
This shift in focus potentially leaves stu-
dents unaware and unprepared for
other sexual situations.
There are also other opportunities
for students to obtain condoms in their
buildings. RAs organize building pro-
grams in order to educate their resi-
dents on many different issues, such as
safe sex. When asked, an RA from
Eleanor Roosevelt Quad said that he
had heard of two different sex education
programs during his time living in ERQ.
“The one that I went to was about STDs.
We put candy in a bag, depending on
the candy we got, that was the disease
you got. Then the RA would tell us
what the disease was and what to do to
prevent it.” Also, when asked about
condom distribution in his building, he
replied, “It’s nonexistent. Sometimes we
have them readily available,” but it is at
the individual RA’s discretion. One RA
makes little packets of condoms and
leaves them for her residents to take;
however, not all residents in other
buildings or quads are as resourceful.
With the inconsistency of condom
availability on campus and the amount
of education provided for the student
body, one is forced to wonder how re-
sponsible the university is for providing
means of safe sex practices. Stony
Brook’s sex education is like an unused
condom: available, but ultimately
wasted.
10 Features Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

STONY BROOK vs HOFSTRA

Photos by Liz Kaufman
The Stony Brook Press Features 11
E-mail The Press at
Want your club/organization to be featured in a future Club Spotlight? sbpressnews@gmail.com
12 Features
R-E-C-Y-C-L-E: Recycle!
By Jessica Rybak
One man’s trash is another man’s
treasure. In order to learn the true
meaning of this phrase, I put in some
time at Stony Brook’s Recycling and Re-
source Management headquarters.
At first glance, the department was
a humble building with a pale green ex-
terior, exactly what I’d expected to see
in an organization so dedicated to
spreading a positive message. Signs de-
picting recycling instructions, motiva-
tion and explanations littered the walls.
“Come on everybody, let’s get green, be-
fore Mother Nature gets real mean,” was
written in green ink on a dry erase
board in the hallway.
As an avid fan of saving the envi-
ronment, I made light of manager Mike
Youdelman’s warning that “sorting”
would be unpleasant and tiresome.
“Sorting,” as it has been nicknamed by
long-time employees, is the process of
deciphering which category paper fits
into while it rolls by on a conveyor belt,
then tossing it into a giant bin with pa-
pers of the like. This includes paper
that’s been disposed by the entire uni-
versity. Tons of paper, newspaper, mag-
azines, textbooks, essays, loose-leaf
paper, cardboard boxes and so much
more shuffled by in endless circulation
all day. Although the department han-
dles both the actual practice of recycling
and reaching out to students on the
topic, I began with the former, which
provides a more hands-on approach to
making a difference. Youdelman told
me that he would rather I began by sort-
ing recyclables because it would show
me the reality of how important it is for
students to know how to recycle. And
his intentions were well met. While
sorting through bins designated for
paper recyclables, I frequently found ev-
idence that convinced me that students
carelessly toss their trash wherever the
nearest receptacle lies. To be honest, I
can understand that it’s difficult to en-
vision where your garbage will end up.
So it doesn’t faze you when you drop it
off, but take it from someone who has
had to handle your trash: it sucks. After
you drop your waste off, there’s some-
one waiting to pick it up and hopefully
use it as one small step towards a better
world. I’ve become one of those people,
and I can vouch for the frustration that
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
If you can guess how many boxes are in there you win a free Stony Brook Press t-shirt
it causes when a batch of paper is sprin-
kled with crumbs from a granola bar or
used tissues. (In case anyone had
doubts, used tissues are not recyclable
paper.) Russ Cannova, Recycling Su-
pervisor, explained a similar problem
that is found within the school pertain-
ing to bottles found in residence halls’
recycling bins. “Some of them have a
lot of garbage inside of them, so our
guys have to clean it all and take the
trash out,” says Cannova.
Although sifting through recycling
to ensure its cleanliness didn’t seem like
a time consuming operation or even a
necessary one when I began working, I
now understand the gravity of the pub-
lic doing whatever it can to make the
process run more smoothly. This one
department handles collecting and re-
cycling paper, bottles, cans, ink jets,
toner, wood, carpeting, metal and even
ceiling tiles. Combine that with a staff
of approximately 20 people and the
threat of “contamination,” the proper
term for when unrecyclables mix with
the good stuff, and you’ve got a load of
responsibility on your hands.
“We’ve come a long way in the last
few years,” says Cannova, adding “To
me, it’s not as bad of a problem now as
it used to be, but it is still there.” Ac-
Jessica Rybak
cording to Cannova, Stony Brook’s re-
cycling program began in the 1980’s by
“two students and one little truck,” and
the program merely “grew from there.”
Statistics of this department show that
in the last three years alone the amount
of recycled tonnage has jumped from
approximately 2,000 tons in 2005 to al-
most 40,000 tons in 2007. Cannova at-
tributes this improvement to
Youdelman. “I give Mike a lot of credit.
He put it all together to make it easier
for people to recycle, and if it’s easy for
people it’ll become a habit. It’s an easy
habit to save the planet!”
Look out for tables where the Recy-
cling and Resource Management squad
will be spreading the message at the
SAC and the Union on November 15,
which is America Recycles Day.
I can truly say that I’ll never look at
a piece of paper or an empty bottle with
the same sentiment after this experi-
ence. After seeing the extensive process
that it takes to recycle, it put the larger
part of the public’s inability to go the
extra mile in perspective. After you’ve
bid adieu to your empty water bottle or
crumpled your receipt from a local
SINC Site, you have the choice between
whether or not you want to breathe new
life into your old recyclable.
The Stony Brook Press
Club Spotlight
ASA : Asian Student Alliance
ASA was formed in the mid-90ʼs
by Asian American students of all eth-
nicities whose native language was
English and wanted a supportive pan-
asian cultural community. Until then
most clubs held their meetings in their
native languages and their events were
geared for immigrant students.
Each Fall ASA holds the
largest Asian interest cultural show,
Asian Night, featuring modern and tra-
ditional performances. It was at the first
Asian Night that the first SBU Asian
American student rock band per-
formed.
With all the other clubs
doing their major shows in the Spring, ASA has taken over the role
of organizer of multi-club events like the Nations of Asia Semi-formal
and promoting attendance at the annual ECAASU conferences.
ASAʼs other events include food tastings, game nights, Sudoku tour-
naments, talent shows, dance-a-thons, and more.
In tune with more serious issues brought up at ECAASU, the
East Coast Asian American Student Union, ASA also leads work-
shops of importance to Asian American students like dealing with
stereotypes, discrimination, and providing leadership opportunities.
PUSO : Philippine United Student
Organization
PUSO shares the
Filipino culture with the
student body through per-
formances, workshops,
meetings, and events. It
provides a friendly network
for students of similar
backgrounds and interests
to bond and interact.
PUSO discusses contem-
porary and historical issues dealing with the Philippines, stereo-
types, and the clash between liberal and Americanism and
conservative Filipino Culture. One can call an Asian Filipino, Chi-
nese, Korean, and many other specific nationalities but what PUSO
members strive together to do is to discover what it means to be
Asian American.
PUSOʼs logo is the word for “love” in Tagolog, the native Fil-
ipino language. PUSA holds many events. In the Fall is Open Mic
Night, Halo-Halloween, Simbang Gabi, and Gawad Kalinga
Fundraiser. In the Spring is PUSOfest. PUSO
takes part in joint activities like Asian Aware-
ness Week and the Nations of Asia Semi-
Formal. Its members attend the regional
Please visit
FIND conferences each semester.
http://www.aaezine.org/
PUSOʼs dance team performs in cam-
to find out about the
pus shows and Battle of the Barrios, a
other Asian and Asian
regional colleges dance competition.
American Clubs on
campus.
www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine in SB Press Vol 30 No 2 September 2008
News
CASB : Chinese Association at Stony Brook
CASB, the oldest Asian
interest club with the oldest an-
nual cultural show, China Night,
will be 40 years old in 2010. In
2003, when Distinguished
Alumni Award winner Wai Lam
was a speaker, he joked how
the last time he was on the
Union stage was as a performer
in China Night - and he graduated in 1982! China Night has mor-
phed into a different show from its first days in Cantonese - now in
English. It has a story line that showcases traditional and modern
acts but now favors dance and step routines and sizzling fashion
shows.
CASB holds many events including a singing contest, game
nights, and mah jong and poker tournaments. It does not have
weekly meetings but events during many of its block-booked times.
Events are on the AA E-Zine and SBU calendars and sent out on
Facebook.
The most successful event of the first Asian American Aware-
ness Week was CASBʼs first mah jong tournament in the Wang Cen-
ter. It also co-sponsors the Nations of Asia Semi-Formal, sends a
contigent of its members to ECAASU, and its dance team performs
at other campus shows.
SASA : South Asian Student Alliance
SASA, the South Asian Student Alliance, began as Club India
and is the second oldest Asian cultural club on campus. It changed
its name in 2000 to reflect the number of students of South Asian de-
scent who are not Indian but share many of the same cultural tradi-
tions, such as Guyanese students, and those of surrounding South
Asian countries such as Bangladesh and Pakistan. SASA's pres-
sure on SBU helped lead to the formation of the Center for India
Studies in 1997.
SASA works in conjunction with offshoots that have formed
such as BU (Bengalis Unite), Club Om/DSA(Desi Student Associa-
tion, which began as a more religious club but became DSA to bet-
ter reflect Indian American students), Sikh SA, WISO (West Asian
Student Association), the Indian interest frats lota Nu Delta and
Sigma Beta Rho, and dance groups Thillana, SB Bhangra Team,
and SB Di Shaan Bhangra.
SASA puts on two large shows each year, the Charity Show
to raise funds for scholarships and humanitarian aid, and SHOLAY,
its annual cultural show. SHOLAY is so popular, its tickets sell out
within the first hour they go on sale! It also has a fashion show,
weekly meetings for socializing, and an off-campus semi-formal. To
check out SASA's latest happenings, use Facebook.
Weekly meetings every Friday at 2:30 PM in our
office, Student Union 071
14 Features
Voter Myths Busted!
By Alex Nagler
There are many myths and miscon-
ceptions about registering to vote on a
college campus. Sources, whose inten-
tions are to obfuscate the process have
been preventing students from voting in
a location that they live eight months
out of the year. A student lives on a
campus for the majority of a year, shops
in its local stores, uses its local facilities,
and contributes to its local economy.
They have every right to vote in the area
they live. So, with that, let’s look at three
major myths about registering to vote
on campus.
Jury Duty
The first claim is that registering to
vote makes you eligible for jury duty,
forcing you to subject to one of the
more tedious aspects of our democracy.
Jury duty, though an essential part of
our judicial process and the civic duty
of all Americans, is boring. Well, I hate
to be the one to tell you this, but if you
have a driver’s license, they have your
Jesus Is Just Alright With Me
By Jonathan Singer
Apparently, Jesus is a very popular
person, even at a science heavy school
like Stony Brook. While his status as the
son of (a) God is always up for debate,
each week over one hundred SBU stu-
dents congregate in SAC room 302 to
praise the famous religious figure.
Members of Stony Brook’s Intervarsity
Christian Fellowship are evangelical
and fundamentalist, but that doesn’t
stop them from being hip and normal
college students.
Many of them wear crosses around
their necks, and at least one in atten-
dance, like JC, Moses and Elijah, had
survived a forty day fast. But instead of
praying in some ancient language, tra-
ditional prayers are forgone for songs by
popular artists like Charlie Hall, Chris
Tomlin, Phil Wickham and the Chris-
tian rock band Delirious?.
Performing these songs live is the
Worship Team, a five piece band that
one hip Christian described as being
“off the chain.” One of the team’s guitar
players wears a Red Hot Chili Peppers
shirt, while the forty day fast survivor
number. Plus, Stony Brook is a state
school controlled by the state govern-
ment, the same government that con-
trols the judicial system. They’re going
to send you your assignment regardless
of if you register to vote or not. So the
claim, “I don’t want to be called up for
jury duty” doesn’t work.
Can’t Claim Dependent
Dependency status is something
that all families of college students rely
upon. It’s the right of your parents to tell
the government that you’re their prob-
lem, and therefore they deserve $3500
off their income taxes. Obviously this is
a very good thing for parents, but some
students have been told that if they reg-
ister to vote, they’ll be unable to let their
parents claim them as dependents. This
is simply not true. The Brennan Center
for Justice at New York University
School of Law has this to say on the
issue:
“If you make less than $3500 in a year
and your parents provide more than
half of your support (money spent on
your food, housing, clothes, health care,
wears a Barack Obama “Change” shirt.
Frank, a senior, Baptist and white,
admits that he’s possibly a minority at
the Intervarsity meeting. He jokingly
self deprecates, admitting that to an out-
sider, the thought of an event sponsored
by The Intervarsity Christian Fellow-
ship conjures up images of “crackers”
praying together.
But Intervarsity is a multi denomi-
national organization, and with that
comes racial diversity. Frank is white,
the faster in the Obama shirt is black,
and another Christian in attendance
chose Intervarsity over SBU’s Korean
Christian Fellowship. “People of all
faiths can come here,” says Jason Philip,
President of Stony Brook’s Intervarsity
chapter.
Once inside, all in attendance unite
to praise (one specific) God and Jesus.
For one night a week, SAC 302 is turned
into a mega-church, not in size but in
the way the patron’s behave. These are
very passionate issues, and some of the
kids at Intervarsity show that passion by
raising their arms in praise, busting out
freestyle prayers (a very conservative
version of beatnik spoken word jams)
and even speaking in tongues.
Of course, the origin of these
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
tuition, books, laundry, car, etc.) for that vate scholarship based solely on where
year, you are a qualifying relative and you live.
are your parents’ dependent no matter
where you live. If you earn more than So, there we have it. Jury duty, de-
$3500, it’s true that your residency pendency, and scholarship are all no
could have some effect on your parents’ longer reasons you shouldn’t register to
ability to claim you as a dependent, but vote on a college campus. Neither are
voter registration is only one of many health or car insurance. Sorry if I just
factors that will be considered.” Regis- took away all of your excuses.
tering to vote is not going to keep your Now get up off your ass and register
folks from claiming you. to vote. The New York State deadline is
October 10.
Lose Your Scholarship
Scholarships are, for those who
have them, the vital lifeblood of attend-
ing school without destroying their own
or their parent’s savings accounts. New
York doesn’t have any rules about loss
of scholarship for registering or reregis-
tering elsewhere, and unless you’re from
Rhode Island, you don’t have anything
to worry about. Place of registration
does not affect any federally given fi-
nancial aid, such as Pell, Perkins,
Stafford, or SMART. It doesn’t affect
private loans either. It doesn’t even af-
fect FAFSA. The only time you could be
in jeopardy here is if you received a pri-
tongued outbursts can’t be proven and
President Philip is willing to admit that
his school is primarily a science uni-
versity. Every day at school the average
Intervarsity faithful faces lectures
about evolutionary biology and physi-
cal cosmology, as well as arguments in
the social sciences favoring abortion
and gay marriage. But just as the club
is diverse in race, it is also diverse in
terms of academia. Frank, for example,
is a double major in Psychology and
Biology.
“I guess the real test is if you have
faith or if you don’t,” says Frank. Frank
believes that one day a few years ago,
God had the idea of making a Big
Bang.
Then that God had a son, who is
great by Intervarsity standards. They
only mention that greatness at least
100 times, or one for each member of
the assembled audience. Non-believ-
ers should not worry. At the end of
each prayer session, the prayer leader
instructs everyone to hold hands and
pray for thirty seconds. Fifteen sec-
onds for the person on one’s left, and
fifteen for the person on one’s right.
That’s the only part of the service
where an atheist wouldn’t fit in.
The Stony Brook Press
Will The Real Dark “Horse” Candidate Please Stand Up?
By Marcel Votlucka
With voter turnout and public con-
fidence in their elected officials at an
all-time low, one wonders: is there truly
a viable candidate this election season
who represents the People?
Answer: of “horse” there is!
Meet RUFUS, independent candi-
date for Presidency of the United States
– and possibly the most unique candi-
date you will ever encounter in this
frenzied “horse-race.” Born and raised
on his father’s ranch in rural Montana,
RUFUS is running for P.O.T.U.S. to
fight for the interests of the people clos-
est to his heart – small town Americans
fed up with Washington snobbery and
eager for a real “hoedown” on Capitol
Hill!
“It started with the small time
ranchers and rural cowboys and farm-
ers,” explains Cheryl Brown, RUFUS’
campaign manager and personal assis-
tant. “Y’know, the people most ignored
by the media and the politickin’ politi-
cians in D.C. They were at the forefront
of the ‘Draft RUFUS’ movement last
year. Before we knew it, we had peti-
tions coming in from all over the coun-
try begging for RUFUS to shake up the
boring ol’ horse-race.”
Indeed, RUFUS’ rising success is
thanks to a dedicated base of support-
ers drawn to his simple yet powerfully
inspiring message – “Pulling America
out of the MUCK of bipartisanship!”
Without any central direction from the
candidate or his team, his supporters
have created a massive Internet follow-
ing, making RUFUS the number two
most Googled candidate behind Rep.
Ron Paul (R-TX). But with this popu-
larity has comes sharp criticism of
RUFUS’ admitted lack of political expe-
rience and the “unknown” factor –
RUFUS has never held a single elected
office.
“His idea of a sound foreign policy
involves whinniying and whining as if
we can simply scare the terrorists away
like so many rodeo clowns,” says Vice
Presidential candidate Sen. Joe Biden
(D-DE). “Maybe that’ll work out in
Montana, but this is Washington. We
need proven leadership and experience
to do the job of protecting Americans
from the likes of Al Qaeda.”
But that matters little to RUFUS’
most devout backers, such as Noah
Whitegrass of Paducah, KY, “He’s the
20
only true maverick jockeying for posi-
tion in this race! We need a fresh start;
shake things up with a true Washington
outsider like RUFUS! How many can-
didates can say they were born and
raised on a ranch and made their living
working at rodeos? How all-American-
apple-pie can you get?” A Facebook
group called “I Support RUFUS for Prez
in ‘08!” has recently appeared; a testa-
ment to the candidate’s sudden popu-
larity.
Pundits have mixed feelings about
RUFUS. “He’s a real dark-horse candi-
date. It’ll be exciting to see how this
plays out,” says George Stephanopoulos,
of ABC. Bill O’Reilly remarked at a re-
cent book signing, “I wonder if these
pinheads at the RUFUS campaign are
just going for the lowest common de-
Features 15
nominator here?” “He’s as full of sh*t as
the rest of ‘em,” retorts Keith Olber-
mann. “The only question is: bull or
horse?”
Fellow Presidential candidates
Barack Obama and John McCain have
so far refrained from weighing in on
RUFUS; perhaps not taking him seri-
ously due to his low standing in official
public polls. Moreover, RUFUS is not
officially on the ballot in any of the 50
States because of his failure to meet con-
troversial ballot access requirements.
Instead, voters may place ballots for
RUFUS as a write-in candidate. His
campaign managers have turned this
seemingly mutable tactic into a major
selling point; a political “maverick” and
“outsider” struggling to get the people’s
voices heard – as his first televised po-
litical ad asserts – “one way or an-
other...and that ain’t no horse-hockey!”
Independent Presidential candidate
Ralph Nader was quick to point out “the
partisan biases that are inherent in bal-
lot access laws – you have the two major
parties, that control ballot access, lock
out competing candidates, lock us out
from the debates, put innumerable hur-
dles in our path. This is a real tragedy,
an insult to democracy, and I welcome
fellow candidates like RUFUS who are
willing to saddle themselves with the re-
sponsibility of challenging this biparti-
san gridlock.”
Whether you’re Obama, McCain,
or RUFUS, the stakes are high and the
path is unsure in this election. But don’t
be surprised if our modern-day politi-
cal Seabiscuit pulls through to a photo
finish this November!
Be S u p er!
Joi n The
PRESS!!!
16 Features
Freedom & Ethics: The NYU J-School Controversy
By Najib Aminy
When New York University Junior
Alana Taylor wrote an opinionated ar-
ticle about her journalism class and the
current digital revolution, she hoped
that it would spark dialogue and pro-
pose solutions among her readers. Little
did she know that her article would
light a fire to a controversial debate of
media ethics and create waves in the
giant ocean of the blogosphere. The ar-
ticle, posted on a PBS Web blog, Medi-
aShift, was aimed at presenting Taylor’s
perspective of being an NYU journal-
ism student amidst a new digital wave.
Titled “Old Thinking Permeates
Major Journalism School,” Taylor re-
ported on her thoughts of the NYU
Journalism department citing her jour-
nalism class, “Reporting for Generation
Y,” in its approach to changing with the
times. For example, in the fourth annual
“State of the Blogosphere,” conducted by
Technorati, the report states that in a
2008 study, 184 million people world-
wide have started their own blog while
346 million worldwide read these blogs.
With the apparent shift to the Internet,
less people are getting their news from
newspapers, magazines and television
broadcasts. More and more people are
looking to the “series of tubes” for an-
swers.
Fully aware of this fact, Taylor’s
piece is centralized on the importance
of the new shift to digital media, and
questions the NYU Journalism Depart-
ment’s hesitation to teach on this new-
age revolution. However when Taylor’s
professor, Mary Quigley, read the arti-
cle and confronted Taylor about it, a
second story was written by Taylor’s ed-
itor, Mark Glaser, that sparked even
more controversy. According to Taylor,
in a private meeting Quigley said, “we
could agree for you to no longer write
about this class.” Quigley then ad-
dressed the classroom of sixteen stu-
dents letting them know about Taylor’s
article, emphasizing that students were
not to report about the class. With the
foundation of journalism based upon
the freedoms of speech and the press,
Quigley’s response to prohibit a student
from writing about her class has
sparked controversy.
“She told me I violated the students
rights, their personal privacy, that I was
wrong on many ethical levels, and about
how I should’ve sought permission,”
Taylor said in response to what Quigley
had. In New York State the only law per-
taining to personal privacy matters are
among the consolidated laws which
states: “the right of privacy of a person,
firm or corporation that uses for adver-
tising purposes, or for the purposes of
trade, the name, portrait or picture of
any living person without having first
obtained the written consent of such
person, or if a minor of his or her parent
or guardian, is guilty of a misde-
meanor.”
Some critics claim that Taylor failed
to conform to the NYU Journalism
Code of Ethics which states, “the vast
majority of time, journalists should
make clear to the people they are inter-
viewing that they are journalists. State
your name and affiliation up front.” By
not informing Professor Quigley or her
fellow students, some see Taylor as the
one at fault for failing to follow proce-
dure as well as the rules of her own in-
stitution. PBS Ombudsman Michael
Getler, wrote in an editorial that Taylor
was unique from other bloggers because
she was hired, though not for money, by
MediaShift, which would make it an ob-
ligation for her to inform her professor
of the story. “This was a journalism stu-
dent in a journalism department who
did this without either telling the
teacher what she was doing or who she
was doing it for, without asking permis-
sion of the teacher or other classmates
(one classmate is quoted anonymously,
also not a great journalistic habit to get
in to), without checking content or ask-
ing for the teacher’s views of the author’s
critical assessments, and without, of
course, identifying her national con-
nection to PBS,” said Getler.
In response to Taylor’s article, Stony
Brook’s Dean of the School of Journal-
ism, Howard Schneider, said that the
only problem he would have with blog-
ging or reporting about any class is if it
results in students worrying about what
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
they say in class, due to a possibility of
it being published, whether online or in
print. “My concern is in anything that
tends to limit freedom of expression in
the classroom or which would be detri-
mental to the educational purpose of
the university.”
In preserving the freedom of the
classroom, Professor Quigley may have
stepped over some boundaries, possibly
posing a threat to the freedoms upon
which journalism is based. Director of
the Arthur L. Carter Journalism Insti-
tute of NYU, Brooke Kroeger, said in
the MediaShift article, titled, “NYU
Professor Stifles Blogging, Twittering by
Journalism Student,” that it was up to
the professors to allow or restrict stu-
dents from writing about what occurred
in class. In an email response, Kroeger
said, “We leave a great deal in matters of
the classroom to the discretion of indi-
vidual professors. There are, of course,
some common understandings, but
professors are generally free to decide
such matters.”
After reading Taylor’s article and
the response article, Ethel Sorokin, of
the Center for the First Amendment
Rights, said she was in agreement with
Taylor. “I didn’t see how discussing the
teachers classroom approach was in any
way demeaning or an invasion of pri-
vacy—[blogging is] an educational issue
that all should be interested in.” Sorokin
added that she does support the teacher
as well, saying, “I’m with the student,
but my feet and body are with the
teacher, so both have to be open—in
good First Amendment style—to the
views of the other to achieve the ulti-
mate best result which may be mostly
blogging in the future.” Schneider, who
said he has met Quigley before, was a
little baffled by her response. “I am a lit-
tle confused myself as to what her ob-
jections are. It appeared to me that at
one point she felt this could be disrup-
tive to the class. So it was not a response
about whether this was negative about
her or the class, and she was trying to
stop people from saying bad things,”
said the former Newsday Editor.
When asked about Taylor’s article,
Quigley emailed, responding that she
could not comment other than to clar-
ify her policy on reporting about her
class. “I don’t allow live blogging, tex-
ting, e-mailing, or twittering during
class. It is distracting to both me and the
students, especially in a class with stu-
dents seated around a seminar table.
Once a student steps outside of the
classroom he is free to make any and all
comments in whatever forum he
chooses,” Quigley said. However, Taylor
says she never wrote any bit of her arti-
cle in Quigley’s class. Confused about it
herself, Taylor viewed Quigley’s re-
sponse as a reversal of what she had said
earlier and possibly softening her stance
from before.
While talking to Taylor on her own
take of the situation, she noted that with
the exception of a few handful of re-
porters, no one has yet to interview her
for comment. Taylor was not expecting
the huge amount of feedback her article
had received, noting that everyone who
had commented had a strong opinion.
Taylor’s response to breaking journalis-
tic ethic codes was that she had not in-
tended on writing her thoughts of the
NYU journalism department as an ex-
posé. Rather, as she put it, “A Day in the
Life of Alana Taylor” type of story that
would provide readers an inside look at
a student attending a top-tier journal-
ism institution. Taylor, who wrote her
article after the first day of class, says
that the mood of the classroom has re-
turned to normalcy, and both she and
Professor Quigley have agreed to move
on as if the article were never written in
the first place. Taylor said she felt like
there was bit of sensationalism when it
came to naming the headlines of her ar-
ticle as well as the follow-up story, but
when asked if she would do it again, she
quickly replied yes.
Taylor’s intention of promoting the
importance of blogging was, in her eyes,
successful. “Regardless of whether peo-
ple agreed or not, the article was posted
on a web blog, in which discussion re-
sulted, which proves that blogs are ef-
fective.”
Asked if fellow NYU students rec-
ognize her from the article that she has
written, Taylor replied, “No, I usually
wear a hat.”
The Stony Brook Press Features 17

We here at e Stony Brook Press, aer extensive discussion and thought, have decided to stand in solidarity with Alana Taylor. Many of us are future jour-
nalists, and it’s impossible to ignore the fact that online mediums of the cra are on their way to surpassing printed forms. In addition, she has every right to write
whatever she desires about her classes.. It is the job of the professors to respond to it professionally, or simply ignore it completely. But they have no basis to claim she
cannot write it.
So, as a display of our stance, some of us have decided to write a small selection about our classes, departments or semesters here at Stony Brook. We know
this isn’t an online blog, but we hope it gets our professors’ (and, indeed, those at the NYU School of Journalism) attention, anyway. Some of these pieces aren’t even
meant to be inflammatory. ey simply are meant to demonstrate that, as journalists and the future professionals of the world, we have the right to write whatever
we like about whomever or whatever we like.
Keep up the good work, Alana. And to all the rest of the journalists and writers out there, always remember that we here at e Stony Brook Press will stand
by you when you need it. Never stop writing, blogging, or even twittering!

Sincerely,
e Stony Brook Press

A Day in ANP 330: Human Evolution at Stony Brook University EGL 243 and You: Shakespeare, Videbaek, Henry

A piece in defiance by Andrew Jacob
Today in ANP 330, there was a nine question quiz. It was numbered
to 10 due to a deletion of a question and then not fixing the error, but
that’s not really important. The quiz covered the past four or five lectures
which focused on the fossil record of apes during the Miocene. I think I
got a 77 on it due to some random guessing on a few questions.
The professor is James Rossie, a lighthearted and comical anthropol-
ogist who graduated from Yale and occasionally works in Kenya digging
up fossils and the like. Midway through the quiz he left the room and
came back with two bottles of ginger ale, claiming that the machine gave
him two for the price of one. Score one for the consumer.
Post-quiz time was taken up by a lecture on the nature and charac-
teristics of bipedal humans in contrast to suspensory apes. It was proba-
bly the second or third time I had gone through the subject, due to
covering it in other classes in the past. Regardless, it is always a fun sub-
ject to discuss and Dr. Rossie makes the subject even better with his crude
drawings, pop culture references, and stories about anthropologists in the
past being wrong or misinterpreting things that we now see as obvious.
The class finally ended as we were just about to discuss the Laetoli
footprints found in Africa which show that some creature was bipedal
about 3.5 million years ago. Monday’s class should be interesting as we
dive deeper into the fossil record which shows evidence of bipedalism in
apes very long before humans were around.
Today in EGL 243 we continued our ongoing discussion of Shakespeare’s Henry
IV: Part I. To those unfamiliar with Shakespeare’s histories, Henry IV is a two-part
play and Part I is one-fourth of a larger tetralogy. We were in the middle of Act III,
scene iii, in which King Henry voices his disappointment in his son, Hal, and threat-
ens to remove him from the line of secession. It’s easy to feel bad for Hal, as he wanted
to become responsible on his own terms, but now he can’t, thanks to a stupid civil
war.
We also discussed axing Anthony and Cleopatra from the syllabus to allow for
more fun with Henry and one of Professor Videbaek’s favorite characters in all of
Shakespeare - John Falstaff. I’ve mentioned Professor Videbaek in this paper before,
mainly commenting that she’s the sole professor I know to teach a class in a Trogdor
t-shirt, though it pales in comparison to her “Viking World Tour” shirt. She’s pretty
much the only professor I search for in the course catalogue and whose class I take re-
gardless of what it is. That led me to develop a completely rational disgust of gloves
thanks to her Elizabethan Tragedy course last spring.
We should finish Henry IV: Part I next week, though it could be later thanks to
Jewish Holiday related disruptions. I’m sad that we don’t do Part II or Henry V after
it. I may read them both over the winter when I have the time, even though I already
know one of the most famous speeches from V- the Saint Crispin’s Day speech.
Alright, class is over. I have to go to the Press office now and watch the rest of the
staff pitch this idea. Good thing I came prepared.
Playing The “Transfer Student’s Wallet Blues”
By Samantha Monteleone

I’m a transfer student and since I’m a music major, I was put in this class, the His-
tory of Western Music. I’ll admit, the class itself is really awesome. Not only do we
Future Teachers Earning Their Stripes
learn about Baroque composers and the music, we actually listen to and analyze the
By James Laudano
pieces in the class, and learn why they were created. I think that’s wonderful. How-
ever, there are six textbooks required for the class. Six. Four huge textbooks at exor-
In case you were wondering, the teachers of tomorrow learn the ropes
bitant prices, and two whole anthology volumes of cd’s at $90 each. Now, I don’t have
in SSE 350, Foundations of Education. The course is required for any
a job and I can reference the library to get the music fo’ free, but it takes eons. It just
teacher seeking state certification from Stony Brook University. The
seems very difficult to obtain all the volumes, even though it’s such an awesome class.
course has been taught for years by Dr. Georges Fouron, an impassioned
I’m torn between my ears and my wallet. We’ll see how it goes.
individual who makes things entertaining even though the content some-
times isn’t.
The workload consists of two research papers. One of which is fif-
teen pages long, and another of a currently unknown length. This year, the LIN 307: Sociolinguistics
course centers on how American grade school education has been lack- by Iris Lin
ing over the past few decades. So far, we’ve only covered how the foun-
dations of American education have always been rather shaky going back I’m a Linguistics major and this semester I am taking LIN 211: Syntax and
as far as the early colonial period. In many ways the class just feels like a
LIN 307: Sociolinguistics. My Sociolinguistics class only meets once a week, on Thurs-
history lesson.
day nights from 5:30 to 8:30. As a result, we’ve only met four times so far this semes-
However, the class really shines when Dr. Fouron goes off on one of
ter and Professor Weisenberg usually lets us out before 8:30. So far I am really enjoying
his tangents and trashes conservative and/or bigoted aspects of society. It
the class and I wish we met more often. Usually we are assigned reading to do for the
is a safe bet that he will do exactly this multiple times during a class ses-
next class and during class we discuss intriguing topics such as dialects and gendered
sion. It keeps things fresh and keeps the students on their toes.
speech. Basically, we look at how language affects society and vice versa.
Now I’ve just gotta figure out what I’m going to write about for that
fifteen-page paper.

WRITE, BLOG, BROADCAST, CHALLENGE!

18
arts&entertainment
Stony Brook Rocks! Well... It Used To, Anyhow
By Jon Singer
Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The
Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane and 3
Doors Down. This list should make
everyone think of one thing: SUNY
Stony Brook’s history as a renowned
concert venue.
Shortly after the campus was
founded in 1962, Stony Brook hosted
pop music concerts at a rate that was
close to three shows per week. Thanks
to the efforts of dedicated students who
were in touch with the pulse of the time,
the school became the premier music
venue on Long Island.
Stony Brook’s position as a large
university approximately sixty miles
from New York City, assisted in making
the school a top suburban venue. Back
then there were guidelines as to how
promoters protected their territories.
“They always used a fifty mile radius as
a thing for protection,” says Norm Prus-
slin, former WUSB Station Manager,
now the director of Stony Brook Uni-
versity’s Media Arts Program. Contracts
had stipulations that prevented an act
from performing at another venue
within fifty miles of where they agreed
to play a concert. Commonly using the
East Village’s Filmore East as a reference
point for the fifty mile radius, artists
and bands would play Stony Brook
shows to get themselves set before going
into the city.
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
But just because the warm up show
to the big city was at Stony Brook does-
n’t mean that it was smaller. In May of
1970, Jefferson Airplane drew 16,000
(the cops counted) people to an outside
show on the athletic fields. A year ear-
lier The Who packed 3,000 fans into the
Prichard Gymnasium, who paid fifty
cents to see the popular British rock
band. “It was rare for a Stony Brook
concert to ever cost more than three or
four dollars from the mid to late 60s to
the early 70s,” says Prusslin.
Prusslin goes on to explain how the
concert industry was different in those
decades, when The Who would cost
overwhelmingly white and like- and the prices of the bands were very
$3,000. Back then students ran the
minded. high,” says Prusslin.
show, treating concert promotion as an
They were also like-minded in so- Eight to ten shows a semester
extracurricular of sorts. Stony Brook
cial class, and since college tuition was turned into two to three shows a semes-
students like Mary Beth Olbrych (eek, a
cheaper back then Prusslin explains that ter, which turned into one or two shows
girl!) were active in the Student Activi-
most students didn’t need to work a part a semester. It became difficult for the
ties Board, chaired at the time by Howie
time job outside of school. That gave Student Activities Board to book con-
Klein. The SAB of the late 60s and early
student promoters like Sandy Pearlman, certs when the Dave Matthews Band
70s booked The Moody Blues, The
who named Blue Oyster Cult “Blue cost around $250,000.
Doors, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix
Oyster Cult,” more time to work with But Stony Brook still has the infra-
There also was Soft White Underbelly,
bands and book them gigs at Stony structure to host large-scale concerts.
the band that would ultimately become
Brook. Eventually the Sandy Pearlmans The arena is the successor to the
Blue Oyster Cult.
of the world evolved into the major cor- Pritchard Gym, and was host to a 1990
Prusslin says that, in retrospect, he
porate promoters who bring main- Bob Dylan concert as well as a 2001
doesn’t think any members of Blue Oys-
stream bands to large arenas and show featuring the popular rock band 3
ter Cult actually went to school at Stony
stadiums. Doors Down. “And then, of course,
Brook. While the BOC’s level of renown
In the late 70s, 80s and 90s, there people talk about the wonderful goal of
isn’t as high as some other bands who’ve
were moments where economies of perhaps one day being able to have the
passed through Stony Brook, their pres-
scale happened to work out. U2 and the stadium for a venue,” says Prusslin.
ence at the school (perhaps one of them
Red Hot Chili Peppers both played gigs For reference, it’s been more than
was a part-time student) helped SUNY
at Stony Brook. “It was far and few in four months and counting since Nas
Stony Brook become the only non
between compared to the way it was performed at Stony Brook.
human inductee into the Long Island
Music Hall of Fame.
Stony Brook was inducted into the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2006,
along with Billy Joel and three mem-
bers of KISS (sorry Ace, maybe if you
lived here). With Billy Joel tickets
costing $300 for his last concert at
Shea Stadium, it’s clear that the music
industry has changed since Stony
Brook was the Long Island concert
venue. Prusslin cites Woodstock as
one turning point, when business
minded rock fans realized they could
build a whole industry after happen-
ings at Woodstock, The Fillmore East
and SUNY Stony Brook.
The student population at Stony
Brook was also a very different ani-
mal back then. “It was a very homo-
geneous audience,” says Prusslin.
Since the mid 70s Stony Brook Uni-
versity has become more and more
diverse, but back then the majority of
students were Caucasian. While at the
time there were obviously great ef-
forts that strived to bring racial diver-
sity to institutes of higher education,
the reality was Stony Brook being
20

INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

Leftists And Freedom
Haters

Education For The Workers... Page 24

General Secretary of
The Central Committee
of the All-Union

Education For The Workers... Page 25

Communist Party of Bolsheviks
James Laudano

Education For The Workers... Page 26

Marshall of The Red Army
Emma Kobolakis
A Dirty Moslem
Najib Aminy

Education For The Workers... Page 27

Minister of the Worker’s Capital
Katie Knowlton
Ministers of Truth
Laura Cooper
Jake Conarck
Commissariat for Internal Affairs
Alex Nagler
Entertainment For The Workers
Andrew Fraley
Uranium Enrichment Specialist
Tia Mansouri
A Real Live Russian!
Previet, fellow oppressed workers! It is with great pleasure and honor that I welcome back The Com-
Roman Sheydvasser
Ministers for Re-Education rade. It’s been a few semesters since we last published this glorious, informative pamphlet, but we felt the
need had arisen once again. The dangerous plague of fascist and right-wing propaganda running rampant
Cindy Liu

throughout our motherland has forced our hand. We have a new staff here at The Comrade, which is filled
Chris Mellides
Kelly Yu
with many eager young Stalins, Molotovs and Maos ready to undermine the capitalist pigs and their running
dogs here at Stony Brook.
SMERSH
Chris Williams
I will keep this brief since we have a great deal of work ahead of us. Just remember this: when the
darkness of the current American free-market crisis seems too thick for you to navigate we shall be your
Future Chairman of the CCP
Iris Lin

shining Red light. Use us as your guide and remain vigilant! If you follow what you are about to read, the
fascist invaders and oppressors will find themselves in the gulags faster than you can say “Za Rodina!”
Our Mission: The goal of The
Comrade is to offer an alterna- Sincerely,
tive point of view to the stu- James Laudano
dents of Stony Brook University. General Secretary of The Party
It is a paper dedicated to rais-
ing awareness of student is-
sues on campus, and
leftist/Marxist issues throughout
the glorious workerʼs struggle
against their oppressors. While
we do, obviously, seek contro-
is page is dedicated to the
versy, The Comrade strives to
offer only opinions (read: facts)
grandfather of Communism:
and news (read: propaganda)
that will encourage the students
Karl Marx
of this campus to break free
from the shackles of free-mar-
ket society. We are dedicated to
building upon and fostering the
Karl is the founder of the com-
leftist and Marxist views that
are strong among so many of
muinist theory. His great works,
us, yet suppressed by the capi-
talist pigs and their running e Communist Manifesto and
dogs. But, ideology aside, all
our news will be bound to three Das Capital, inspire workers
standards: we will always be
opinionated, impulsive, and around the world to this very day.
crass.
ank you, Karl!
 21

Elect Obama... If You Want A Capitalist Pig Leading Us!

By The Worlds Oldest Living Bolshevik
Comrades, there has been
much talk of Senator Obama being a
leftist, of being the most liberal sena-
tor in the United States Senate. Sena-
tor McCain himself brought this
charge up in the first Presidential de-
bate. It is an oft-repeated charge, that
Democratic Candidate Who Is Also
A Senator X is a Socialist. This is sim-
ply not true. As a Bolshevik, I know a
good deal about socialism. Barrack
Obama is not a socialist. He is a filthy
capitalist pig dabbling in progressive
politics.
Americans are so quick to
deem anything that isn’t the fascist
politik that they are normally used to
as socialist. The fear of the “nanny
state” keeps conservatives awake at
night, knowing full well that were the
government to ever truly take charge
and unite the workers, they’d be out
of speaking gigs.
The candidate’s pathetic at-
tempts at “Universal Healthcare”
would never pass in a true socialized
state. If America wanted any sort of
working system of socialized medi-
cine, they should have started it along
with the countries they were paying to
rebuild. The United Kingdom’s Na-
tional Health Service turned sixty this
year. Any feeble attempts at a health-
care system today would fail as it is a
political issue, sure to be scrapped the
moment a party change happens. It
will take ages for anything to come to
pass. America must take over its hos-
pitals, pharmaceutical industries, and
medical schools if it wishes to have a
healthcare system. Senator Obama
proposes none of these things.
Senator Obama doesn’t care
about the true heroes of socialism- the
workers. He is a filthy capitalist intent
on adjusting the tax system to fit the
needs of rich and poor. Capitalism
demands the rich get richer off the
backs of the poor, which is precisely
what any tax proposal states. This
mere fact disqualifies Senator Obama
from any socialist club.
Senator Obama blindly par-
rots the talking points of Israel in its
belief that the only way to be strong is
through massive military force, sub-
jugating the poor into lives of soldiers
and expanding the fascist American
empire’s treasure trove. A true social-
ist would call for the immediate
scrapping of the American Military
and withdrawal from its posts
throughout the world.
Barack Obama is no socialist.
He’s only dabbling in progressive pol-
itics, even if he may be one of the
most progressive candidates seen in
the field in a generation. And if his
speeches are awesome.

is page is dedicated to the

great leader of the Bolsheviks:
Vladimir I. Lenin

Vlad was the one who lead the great Bol-

shevik Revolution against the corrupt
Czars, who ruled our Motherland like the
capitalist pigs run the world today. His pre-
served body can still be found in Red
Square in Moscow, waiting for the day
when technology allows us to reanimate
him so he can lead us once more to vic-
tory!
22
Did You Know: Stony Brook Patriot Alexander Chamessian misspelled his own first name in the most recent issue of his publication. In addition, our intelligence
agents totally saw him at a gay pride parade. John Derbyshire would be proud!

If You Really Know Israel...

By John Tucker
I’m going to live and work in
Israel next summer. As a Jew I ulti-
mately plan on moving to Israel.
You’re welcome.
I’ve been exposed to Israel my
entire life. From catchy songs I sang in
Hebrew school at age eight to my first
trip to Israel in 2007, I’ve been taught
propaganda from one side of a con-
tentious argument.
I am not implying that the
pro-Israel propaganda is false. Organi-
zations such as The David Project em-
ploy highly versed professionals that
craft well researched arguments. Yes,
statistically the West Bank barrier has
greatly reduced the number of attacks
by Palestinian militants, but at the
same time, organizations like Elec-
tronic Intifada also employ and edu-
cated professionals who exercise their
right to free speech and present their
counterpoints.
It was in 2003 that an incident
at Concordia University occurred; a
group of pro-Israel students scheduled
Israeli politician Benjamin Netanyahu
to speak at their university. In re-
sponse, pro-Palestinian students ri-
oted. Riot police had to be called in
and there was property damage. The
end result was that Netanyahu’s
planned speech was cancelled.
Last week Mahmoud Ah-
madinejad spoke in front of the UN
General Assembly and last year the
Iranian politician spoke at Columbia
University. Whenever Ahmadinejad
comes to the US, it’s common for vocal
and physical protests to form around
his presence. These protestors, who
usually rally against Ahmadinejad’s
anti-Zionist views, have a right to
voice their opinions. But if they ever
were to prevent the president of Iran
from speaking, they would be just as
bad as the Concordia rioters.
All I am asking for is that
these Zionists admit that an Israeli like
Netanyahu, a member of the right-
wing Likud party, is a controversial
figure. But so many American Zionists
have such blind support of Israel that
they neglect any sources of contention
within The Jewish State.
One of the reasons why there
is no solution to the Israel-Palestine
conflict is because of internal Israeli
politics. I’ve been to Israel twice, and I
can say with confidence that Israeli cit-
izens don’t blindly support Israel. Is-
raelis are educated voters living in a
democratic state. One of the many
true arguments I have been told favor-
ing Israel marks it as a beacon of
democracy in the Middle East.
Israel is so into fairness that
the country’s supreme court even
questioned the legality of the West
Bank Barrier. “In June 2004 the Court
ruled that a 30-km section of barrier
northwest of Jerusalem imposed
undue hardship on Palestinians and
must be rerouted,” says a 2005 article
written by the BBC.
In 60 years Israelis have built a
nation that can afford to construct a
physical barrier around a territory the
size of Delaware. Israel and its sup-
porters can bear the expense of send-
ing every Jewish person between the
ages of 18 and 26 to Israel for ten days.
Yet American Zionists still claim Israel
as a victim.
And rightfully so. Israeli civil-
ians have fell victim to rocket attacks,
suicide bombings and wackjobs with
bulldozers. In response, Israel exer-
cised it’s right to defend itself. As a re-
sult of this ongoing war, a number of
Israeli soldiers ended up as hostages.
I don’t know the exact number
of hostages, but I do know there are
numerous Facebook groups that call
for their release. What I can tell you is
that the ratio of Israeli hostages to
Arab prisoners of war is skewed in Is-
rael’s favor. In 2007, as Zionists called
for the release of two Israeli soldiers,
there were hundreds of Arab prisoners
in Israeli prisons.
Ehud Goldwasser and Elad
Regev did not deserve to die as
hostages. God knows I’d rather be in
an Israeli prison then a Hezbollah one.
Israel is at war, and in war people get
hurt. From the best of my knowledge,
I can say that Israel has never lost a
war. It’s probably because if they did,
the Jewish State wouldn’t exist any-
more.
So you’re welcome. While you
American Zionists have your delu-
sional view of what Israel is, next sum-
mer I’m going to be over there,
watching ultra orthodox Jews from
Jerusalem clash with bikini clad Is-
raelis living in Tel Aviv. So much for
unity in standing with Israel. On TV
I’ll watch members of the Labor party
argue with Likud politicians over what
to do with the West Bank. I’ll risk
death by taking the bus to work. Many
people over there won’t like me. Per-
haps I’ll be really controversial and
visit a West Bank settlement. But to
even it out, I’ll make sure I pee on a
walled section of the West Bank Bar-
rier. Oh yeah, the author feels that
both Obama and McCain are subordi-
nated into blindly supporting Israel.

is page is dedicated to

e Man of Steel:
Josef Stalin!

Don’t let the silly Americans fool you. It

was this great leader who truly defeated
Hitler. By capturing Berlin and half of
Europe, he set the stage for the Golden
Years of the Soviet Union. We salute
you, Man of Steel!
 23
“A” “Communist” “Freshmen’s”
“Survival” “Guide” “to” “Stony” “Brook”
Stalin regime, demean the peace effort their toes. They’ll respect your mes- on this, so don’t bother with them
and ridicule Marxists for an entire lec- sage all the more.” cause they’re stupid.”
By “Andrew” “Fraley”
ture. “I have endured the drivel of an- “Location,” location, “location:” do “Don’t get angry.” “I’ll be frank, I
other guy who totally exists, named not, “under any circumstances, associ- fucking hate capitalists. They make me
Dave or something, ridicule” General ate with anyone who might disagree want to vomit all over their fancy
“Welcome to Stony Brook
Secretary Stalin “for denying a Soviet with you. Remember that universities clothes. I have a conniption every time
University.” “You are about to embark”
holocaust and saying that using a in America are a haven of capitalists I catch sight of the slimy shits. Don’t
on a long and “arduous journey”
flamethrower to put out a forest fire and free marketers. Where do you be like me. I’m brutally insane. Bask in
through the “social strata of this capi-
was like fighting fire with fire.” “The think those little bastards fled during your own self righteousness.” “Nothing
talist education system.” You “are” all
stories from my co-eds about the con- the Cold War? To academia and Holly- anybody says is going to change” the
equal, but some of you are “more”—
stant ridicule we Marxist fundamen- wood, of course! And to almost every- fact that you are more equal “than”
“or less”—equal “than” others. “Some
talists receive when they try to speak where else in America, and most of the everybody.
of you are stupid capitalist pig dogs.” If
their mind about a regime that fell world. Just don’t associate with any- Have fun “with” them. “The capi-
you “endure for the honor and glory of
nearly twenty years ago still remain in body who doesn’t profess himself a talists are guilty of everything, from
this” great Party, “overcome the trials
my enormous, superior mind.” lock-and-step Marxist.” petty theft to murder in the first. Al-
and tribulations of this stifling system
“You want to talk torture?” “Try “Surround yourself though it is hard not to explode in fits
in which you’ve been placed and make
listening to the philistines from jour- with the right folks: join the Oppres- of rage every time one of the bastards
the correct choices between hard work
nalism 101 bullshit about the purpose sive Marxist Orthodoxy. Hell, join The does something that disagrees with
and harder work, chances are you’ll be
of journalism. Watchdogs of the gov- Comrade, a sister organization of the your ideology.”
a successful party member, and a posi-
ernment?” “Independent?” “Objective? slightly less radical Press. I’d suggest “Try not to have rational dialogues
tive contribution to the” magnificent
These ass backwards capitalists have it using Facebook to find similar minded with them. Play passive aggressive
Soviet Union. “Some of you won’t,
all wrong, dammit!” “Journalism is peers, but we denounce Facebook as a mind games with them. Don’t argue or
simply because you’ll be too busy
here to be the mouthpiece of the gov- capitalist mind control device. Feel debate with them, just stew over
snorting cocaine and” oppressing the
ernment. If they’re not spreading free to befriend people of all political everything they say, and then write vit-
proletariat. “However, there is one
propaganda, manipulating informa- stripes, but only to gather vital infor- riolic opinion pieces about it in lack-
more large and important obstacle that
tion and ultimately controlling the mation on them. Remember, when the luster college publications. Just
you must deal with in your quest for
masses,” then journalists aren’t “doing revolution comes, they will be first remember, you are smart. Just keep
intellectual superiority. This is the ex-
their job properly.” “You know those against the wall.” saying it.”
treme, pervasive free market senti-
I’d Rather Be bumper sticker? Well, “Speak up in class.” Tell other pro- “Follow these rules as faithfully as
ment that permeates through every
when it comes to Journalism 101, I’d fessors and students that they’re you can, and you will be a great com-
pore of this beautiful campus.” “Wel-
rather be torturing some poor, inno- wrong. Lord your superiority over munist. The overwhelming capitalist
come to a fortified” “bastion of capital-
cent Moslem.” them, “because you are better than majority will try to persuade you that
ist thought, not-so-new freshmen.”
“How do you survive con- them”—more equal, rather. “Don’t money is good, and free market isn’t a
“As” a “senior, I have seen this
stantly being surrounded by people ever let those dumb fucks forget it.” viciously oppressive system. They’ll
awful oppressive ideology that runs
who are less equal than you are? Be- “Treat your time here like you are throw around words like Tolerance,
through the very fibers of this institu-
sides flaunting your smug self satisfac- at war. That’s what I do. Make it into a Dialogue, Freedom, Awareness, Ra-
tion. Hell, through the very core of
tion” “over them, here are a few war game. Run around pretending to tionality and all that other double-
this damn country! I have had to deal
strategies to remember during your throw Molotov Cocktails into the faces speak for Anti-Marxist thought.”
with the entrepreneurial commentary
time in this capitalist stink hole:” of every capitalist pig dog you meet. Ever since that bastard “Ronald”
of these mindless capitalist professors,
Have crappy “layout.” “If it looks And, for the sake of every word that I “Reagan” single handedly “destroyed”
who day in and day out condemn the”
shitty on print, it’s bound to get the at- am about to misuse (like cleanly), communism in the “‘80s,” capitalism
Marxists, Bolsheviks “and anyone who
tention of people who would other- avoid the Enduring Freedom Alliance has been on the “rise throughout the
believes different than they, and the
wise pay your message no mind.” and their associates. They’re rich and world.” We are with you in our never-
other Reaganite faculty, do.” I have lis-
“Don’t justify text, have stupid looking white and I assume they’re probably ending struggle to bring down this
tened to “Professor” “Hang” “Air-
lists and print inconsistently as well. assholes or something. They’re also corrupt system. Stand strong. Never
cornor” in his Making Money and
This way, you keep your readership on wrong about everything, just trust me give in.
Oppressing the Masses class bash the

is page is dedicated to

e Chariman:
Mao Zedong

Chairman Mao is the father of Commu-

nism in China. By winning the Civil War
in the 1940’s, he ensured that the Com-
munism will sit atop the world soon when
China takes its place as the most powerful
nation in the world!
 Никогда не
We have a joke for you:

забывайте
Man 1: Knock knock
Man 2: Who’s there?
Man 1: September 11th
Man 2: September 11th who?
Man 1: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU’D
NEVER FORGET!?!?

We always see the bumper stickers saying “9/11: Never For-

get!” Well, we think it’s a safe bet that anyone who lived through
that fateful Tuesday would never actually forget the momentous
events that occurred, so you can all knock it off with that crap.
However, that’s now the point we want to make here. What we
really want to do is take this time to remember some of the other
major moments in our great Motherland’s history! No more of this
capitalist pig, American nonsense.
We remember the Battle of Stalingrad, when our glorious
forces beat back the Fascist invaders in the biggest battle in all of
mankind’s history. We remember the Siege of Leningrad, when
millions of our citizens starved to death in the name of the
worker’s greater struggle! We remember the launching of Sputnik
and the look on American President Eisenhower’s face as he
crapped his pants after hearing the news.
Since it is now October, we remember the Glorious October
Revolution of 1917 when our forces struck a blow for workers
worldwide and overthrew the oppressive Czars! Finally, on a more
somber note, we remember Ethel Rosenberg, whose birthday just
passed on September 28. It was her and Julius Rosenberg who lev-
eled the playing field by giving our great leader Stalin the atomic
bomb information from the capitalists in the USA. She was un-
justly executed shortly after. Rest in peace, Ethel. We will never
forget!
The Stony Brook Press
My Bloody Valentine: Live, 9/22/08
By Steve McLinden
Thank God that My Bloody Valen-
tine is back, in whatever form we could
get them. Troubled by the fact that he
could never write an album as great as
1991’s shoegaze masterpiece, Loveless,
Kevin Shields has said he went crazy
writing new material in the mid-‘90s.
Shields says he “went crazy,” the band
broke up, and while the members
moved on to collaborate with other rock
artists, the future seemed hopeless for a
decade or so. That is, until 2007, when
Shields began saying things like he was
personally remastering the bands two
full-length albums, that they would be
playing live shows, and that there would
definitely be a new album someday. For
kids like me, who would’ve been more
likely to be seen in kindergarten before
I was in an all-ages show back in the
band’s heyday, My Bloody Valentine’s
stop in New York for two shows on Sep-
tember 22 and 23 were dreams come
true.
After curating the All Tomorrow’s
Parties festival upstate in Monticello on
the weekend prior, a three-day-long
odyssey of really loud rock music fea-
turing the likes of Built to Spill, Mog-
wai, Trail of Dead and plenty more that
would take up too much of this page to
list, My Bloody Valentine headed down-
state to play at Roseland Ballroom in
midtown Manhattan for these two
nights, the first of which I attended.
The first opener, Le Volume
This, however, is the band. My bloody something or other.
arts&entertainment
Courbe, was interesting, but I didn’t
particularly enjoy them. The singer,
Charlotte Marionneau, had a certain
uniquely insecure-sounding voice that
I think was supposed to add to the
freak-folk element. She is a French ex-
patriate in London, and rumored on the
Internet to be Kevin Shields’ girlfriend.
(Well, thank you, spoils system.) The
acoustic guitarist played his depressing
minor chords adequately, and I think
the violinist who doubled on xylophone
(a xylophone that they had the techni-
cians spend ten minutes setting up just
perfectly) turned out to be a little un-
necessary.
Following that half-hour set, we
were treated to a set by The Wounded
Knees, which is coincidentally fronted
by Kevin Shields’ brother Jimi. We
could tell of his relation to Kevin by the
way he complained to the sound guys
about the levels in a monitor after every
single song. They would’ve been more
enjoyable if not for the focus on the
flutist—yes, a girl playing an amplified
flute was made central to most of the
band’s songs. At the end of the show, J
Mascis of Dinosaur Jr came out with
electric guitar to join them. Much of
the crowd had no idea who he was, and
it doesn’t help that he is the most unso-
ciable man in rock and roll, but to be
fair, J Mascis is a man who needs no in-
troduction. If you ever see an aging
man these days with near-white hair al-
most to his waist wearing an Adidas
track jacket and an electric guitar hang-
ing from his shoulder, it’s probably J.
(But don’t bother telling him you’re a
Arts & Entertainment 25
fan, because you’ll probably just
creep him out.) Unfortunately, it
was not a Dinosaur Jr song that
he joined them for, just some
Middle-Eastern-influenced eight-
minute jam with lots and lots of
flute.
Shortly after ten o’clock, My
Bloody Valentine came to the
stage. I took my earplugs out at
this point because I’m so hard-
core. There were stations all
around the entrance to the venue
with boxes of free earplugs and
signs like, “YOU WILL NEED
THESE,” or “MBV RECOMMED
[sic] USING EARPLUGS.” In
the early ‘90s, they had a reputa-
tion for turning their monitors
away from themselves, just to
blast out the eardrums of the
crowd even more. While we did-
n’t get any of that these days, they
were still pretty damn loud. My This, actually, has nothing to do with the band
Bloody Valentine always had a
reputation for not varying up
their setlist, and what we got was almost sounded like a rocket launch, and I fig-
exactly the same as what they played ured that I should put my earplugs in if
when opening the reunion tour in Glas- I wanted the ringing to go away before
gow in June or at either of the other the end of September. Looking around,
shows in the state of New York. It was about a quarter of the crowd was forc-
mostly a mix of their more powerful ing their fingers into their ears to drive
tracks from Loveless, Isn’t Anything, and the earplugs deeper, while another
the You Made Me Realise EP; there are quarter raised their hands like thrill
no deep tracks from their earlier more seekers on a roller coaster or worship-
goth-sounding recordings. Opening pers at the altar of wall of sound. By the
with “I Only Said” into “When You end, even Kevin Shields had had
Sleep” was no doubt the only choice that enough, warning drummer Colm Ó
could be made. Cíosóig to stop playing already. The
The vocals could’ve been louder band went into the last verse of “You
(but then again, people say that about Made Me Realise” which most of us
Loveless), but guitarist/female vocalist probably couldn’t recognize after hav-
Bilinda Butcher’s voice sounded as ing our ears beat up, and shortly there-
dreamily wonderful as it did almost after, they waved goodbye and left the
twenty years ago. The greatest sight of stage to return without an encore.
the night was the way that bassist Deb- Any false hopes of them previewing
bie Googe fought like the bass was a a new song were dashed. In the week to
beast to be tamed. follow these New York shows, My
After an hour or so, I began to say Bloody Valentine wrapped up their
to myself, “I’ve been to louder shows dates in North America and the tour,
than this. I’ve leaned on guitar monitors for now. The remaster of Isn’t Anything,
at noise rock shows. I’ll only have tinni- the band’s first album was scheduled for
th
tus for a couple of days.” Seeing as there release on September 29 , and from
was a disappointing barricade to keep what I heard of it, it did not consist of
us no less than twenty feet from the blasphemous alterations like many fans
stage and the crowd had gotten their feared. Reportedly, the Loveless remas-
even earlier than I, distance had to do a ter is being held up by Kevin’s rewriting
little bit to save my hearing. of the liner notes. Both albums had
That is, until “You Made Me Re- been scheduled for a June release to pre-
alise” descended into the heaviest cede all of this touring. With any luck,
twenty-minute sound vacuum I had we will be getting a new My Bloody
ever heard. At first, it felt like we were Valentine album within a couple of
on board a rocket launch; a feeling so years, the band will tour again, and they
out-of-this-world. After about three or will get a chance to abuse my eardrums
four minutes, I realized that it only once more.
26 Arts & Entertainment
Bayside’s Shudder
By Vincent Barone
Long Island’s own pop punk band
Bayside is set to release their fourth full
length album, Shudder on September
30. The CD opens powerfully with the
track “Boy”, which, unfortunately, is one
of the hardest-hitting songs on the
album. Shudder is filled with morbidly
well-written lyrics that longtime fans
are familiar with, but it lacks the inten-
sity of the band’s prior works. The
somber words are hidden under catchy
hooks that send out a more upbeat,
“poppier” vibe that dulls the sharp tone
of previous recordings. They will un-
questionably attract many new fans, but
could leave a bitter taste in the mouths
of fans from the band’s early days.
As far as instrumentals go, this is
the band’s most talented effort yet. Lead
guitarist Jack O’Shea doesn’t let his
band’s genre stifle his guitar expertise
and has done his best playing on Shud-
der. O’Shea has done a great job playing
over the rhythm, making it impossible
for songs to grow boring. Besides his
creative licks, Jack laid down some seri-
ous soloing on tracks like “A Call To
Arms”, “Have Fun Storming The Castle”,
What kind of doofus wears a keffiyeh with a short sleeved shirt?
and “Roshambo.” His guitar tracks,
mixed with singer Anthony Raneri’s
unique vocal styling sets Bayside apart
from the other generic pop punk bands
and is a breath of fresh air in a ridicu-
lously watered down, monotonous
genre.
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Drummer Chris Guglielmo has
done another great job in his sopho-
more effort replacing former drummer,
John “Beatz” Holohan. Chris had big
shoes to fill and he continues his great
job by taking John’s style of playing and
tweaking it to make the beats his own.
His drum prowess is evident on
tracks like “Howard” and “Have Fun
Storming the Castle” where he plays
unique beats that complement the
guitar work.
As much as I miss the angst and
power from former Bayside CDs, I
have to admit that Shudder is still a
solid effort from the group. From
tracks one to twelve, there are no
fillers. Each song is as good as the
last. Anthony Raneri’s vocals have al-
ways been the biggest key to the
band’s success. He has displayed his
songwriting expertise by perfectly
blending despair and optimism. His
songs usually deal with a battle with
heartbreak or uncertainty and how
he perseveres.
They might have steered a little
from their roots, but there are still a
few tracks that remind me of their
early work. My favorite ones include;
“Boy”, “The Ghost of Saint Valen-
tine”, and “Roshambo.” If you are new
to Bayide and are a fan of Alkaline Trio,
From First to Last, and Silverstein, you
will be in for a treat. Shudder is in Stores
September 30th.
The Stony Brook Press
Metallica – Death Magnetic
By Aamer Qureshi
Anyone will tell you that Metallica’s
grand trilogy of thrash-metal albums in
the 80’s were their best ever. These were
1984’s Ride The Lightning, 1986’s Mas-
ter of Puppets and 1988’s …And Justice
For All. Everything starting with their
1991 self-titled album, and most suc-
cessful release, is a subject of much de-
bate. As far as their image goes, taking
on Napster in the early 2000’s made
them one of the most hated bands
around. Their previous album was lam-
basted by nearly everyone who
heard for, simply put, crappy pro-
duction and songs which milked a
riff for eight odd minutes. Most ag-
gravating of all, the lead guitarist
was chained up and there wasn’t a
single guitar solo on the album.
Five years after St. Anger,
Metallica is a band invigorated from
mended personal ties and years of
touring. Anyone who’s been keep-
ing up with their set lists in recent
years will see an almost complete
eviction of new material and a re-
turn to playing their classics - com-
plex material with time changes and
played in their entirety. It was in this
spirit, of embracing what made
Metallica so incredible in their an-
gered youth, that producer Rick
Rubin advised them to try to create
a sequel to Master of Puppets.
Of course, Metallica were dif-
ferent people back then. Dubbed
“Alcoholica” by the mainstream
media for their hard partying
lifestyle, they released a set of albums so
brilliant and soul-crushingly angry, that
it’s hard not to yearn for the old days to
return. Sadly, any realist will tell you
that this just cannot happen. With an
average age of 45, Metallica are now
family men and have spent over ten
years recreating their sound and be-
coming more of a hard rock group. So
for them to try to return to their roots
on Death Magnetic is a staggering pro-
posal, but not surprising from a pro-
ducer known to push bands into doing
what they do best.
The songs on Death Magnetic, for
arts&entertainment
those wondering, are really compli-
cated. The jarringly superb guitar riffs,
courtesy of mastermind James Hetfield,
invigorate the songs with the punch that
Metallica were known for. The album
opener, “That Was Just Your Life,” be-
gins with a heartbeat ala Pink Floyd’s
Dark Side of the Moon and moves into a
harmonized clean guitar intro. This was
a point of excitement for me, as it indi-
cated a return to Metallica’s seminal
album format. The first song from the
classic trilogy begins with clean and
harmonized guitars. And, in staying
true to their legacy, the song launches
into ferociousness and then into solo.
It’s hard to think of a better way to begin
the album.
The next two songs continue
Metallica’s sonic assault on the senses
with powerful and merciless riffing. It
is at this point that I must curse every
human being’s biological clock. Al-
though they retain the stamina to play
extremely fast and intricate riffs, Het-
field’s much-celebrated old growling
and roaring vocals have gone away –
never to return. It is in realizing this and
moving on that one can truly appreci-
ate the effort he puts in and makes do
with what he has. This is shown clearly
on the fourth song and first single “The
Day That Never Comes.” True to their
format, it’s a ballad placed fourth in the
track listing and echoes their classics
“One” and “Fade To Black,” maybe even
a bit too much. But stands up as a damn
good song regardless.
When addressing lyrics, Hetfield’s
abstract and disjointed take on this
album is at times quite hilarious. A line
repeated in “Broken, Beat and Scarred”
a lot is, “What don’t kill ya make ya
more strong” - sure to become an in-
joke with any Metallica fan. However, as
odd as the lyrics may sound, the music
makes up for them. The eastern-tinged
and mid-tempo “Cyanide” follows
the rage-filled “All Nightmare Long,”
which is silly only in title.
“The Unforgiven III,” a sequel to
two of Metallica’s most celebrated
ballads from the 90’s, was a complete
surprise. While the first two shared
some music and lyrics to create a
story, this one did away with it all. At
first I was disappointed, not under-
standing how it worked in the grand
scheme of a possible song trilogy.
After some listens though, you can
appreciate how it stands on its own
as a really good ballad – the final one
on Death Magnetic.
Nothing could have pre-
pared me for the next song, titled
“The Judas Kiss.” A sing-song cho-
rus, bended main riff and an incred-
ibly sinister solo make this one of the
high points of the album for sure. It’s
a song that will definitely be a live fa-
vorite and, to put it simply, gets in
your head and stays there.
Now, the highly awaited sec-
ond to last song is the instrumental, ti-
tled “Suicide and Redemption.” This
song truly marks a return of Metallica
to their music-intensive old days. The
listener is attacked with riff after riff,
which segues into a slower and softer
middle section. Each melody on this
song sounds highly emotional in nature
and seems to signify a feeling of mood
changes. It goes from angry, to sad, to
triumphant, to eerie and ultimately re-
turns back to the original riff. Fans who
missed the lack of a customary instru-
mental since 1991’s self-titled album
will rejoice.
27
The last song, titled “My Apoca-
lypse,” is such a classically Metallica way
to end an album that it makes you
smile. While most bands would have
their saddest and most melodious song
as the album closer – Metallica pile it on
with a seedy and heavy thrasher. The
shortest song on the album (clocking in
at 5:01) recalls everything from their
early days to Slayer, as Hetfield sounds a
lot like Araya in his vocals.
A real return to form and an im-
mensely enjoyable listen, Death Mag-
netic successfully captures what
Metallica and Rubin wanted for the re-
lease. However, it has some major flaws.
The production on the album is brick
walled to the point where it clips. As an
audiophile, I was lamenting the lack of
dynamics in the songs until I came
across an ironic discovery. Before send-
ing the album to their mixing and mas-
tering department, who royally fucked
it up – they sent the unedited master
tapes to Guitar Hero headquarters. The
creators of the massively popular video
game created their own superior mix of
the album, which is now one of the
most downloaded items on the Internet.
When you see me with my iPod, it’s this
mix that I’m listening to with a clear
conscience, as I’ve bought the album it-
self.
Labeled by Metallica as the album
which belongs in between 1988’s Justice
and their 1991 self-titled album, Death
Magnetic has some of their most intri-
cate songwriting ever. The simplicity
since 1991 is gone, to be replaced by nu-
merous time changes and breathtak-
ingly complicated solos.
Just ask anyone who plays Guitar
Hero about this last detail. Who plays
an actual guitar anymore? However, the
retail version has the bass turned down
– so it is indeed a sequel to ‘Justice.’ This
isn’t a problem if you have the Guitar
Hero version but it’s quite annoying, as
Rob Trujillo’s a supremely talented
bassist.
So, difficult riffs, solos drenched in
Hammett’s fetish (the wah-wah pedal),
Lars’ simple (very simple) but visceral
drumming and Hetfield’s vocals make
this a true Metallica release. I give it
four out of five stars.
28 Arts & Entertainment
Mega Man 9: Throwbacks & “Fuck You”
By Kevin Vong
Capcom released Mega Man 9 this
week on all current generation consoles
and brought back some 8-bit flavor in
Next On The List To Schindler’s List
By Jie Jenny Zou
Nestled between the Wang Center
and the Melville Library lies Stony
Brook’s very own Staller Center. Unbe-
knownst to many students is the fact
that for twenty dollars, one can pur-
chase a season pass to view their weekly
Friday offerings. Aside from their ultra-
dark theaters (I mean can’t-see-the-
stranger-sitting-next-to-you-damn-this
-place-is-darrrrk kind of dark), cinema
buffs will also enjoy their diverse array
of indie films from “Flight of the Red
Balloon” to last spring’s “My Father, My
Lord” — all showcased on generously
sized (this means rather large) screens.
Be forewarned though, Staller caters to
a much older crowd, so I hope you
like/can endure the smell of Bengay.
For this particular night, I arrived
at the packed theater for a 7 pm curtain
of Die Falscher or, for those of you un-
familiar with German, The Counter-
feiter(s). Yes, German. This is one of
those “reading” films. Written and di-
rected by Stefan Ruzowitzky, The Coun-
terfeiters is based on a memoir of the
same name by Adolf Burger, a Jewish
Slovak interned in the currency coun-
terfeiting campaign during the Holo-
caust. The film version, however,
forgoes focusing on the Resistance-
touting Adolf Burger and instead
this generation of high-definition gam-
ing. Old-school graphics and sound
bites in this day and age? You betcha. It
is certainly not a glossy-looking action
game like “Devil May Cry” or “Ninja
Gaiden.”
In this installment of the series, the
evil Dr. Wily frames Dr. Light,
creator of Mega Man, for cor-
rupting robots and it is up to
the Blue Bomber to free Light
and put an end to Wily’s
schemes.
Like every other Mega Man
game, you’ll have to go
through difficult stages and
destroy robot masters to beat
the game. The question is
“How hard can it be?” Well,
you’ll have to perform pixel-
perfect jumps, dodge multiple
enemies and projectiles, avoid
pits and spikes aboard a mov-
chooses the much less moral, ambiva-
lent Salomon “Sally” Sorowitsch as the
main character. Played with under-
stated brilliance by Austrian actor Karl
Markovics, Sally is the kind of guy that
thinks the best way to earn money is to,
literally, make it. A master counterfeiter
and businessman, Sally is a hedonist
with an obscure past who momentarily
escapes internment from the Nazis by
falsifying passports. He is able to lend
his special skills for others willing to pay
a price.
Eventually, he finds himself ar-
rested and interned at the hands of po-
lice officer Friedrich Herzog who
reveals and breaks his forgery ring.
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
ing platform, and read bosses’
patterns. There’s hardly any
room for error. Sounds unfair? It
is, but it’s not the game’s fault
when the Blue Bomber dies…
it’s all you.
It’s hard to believe this game
was made this year. The game
looks and feels like a NES game.
I was playing it on my HDTV
through HDMI source with 16:9
resolution… it doesn’t even sup-
port 16:9 and converts to 4:3 res-
olution. It even added the
feature of making the screen
flicker to enhance the old-school
feel. The controls are simple: move back
and forth, jump, and shoot. Some of the
old-school programming is still at work,
such as having only three enemies ap-
pear on the screen at one time.
Why is Mega Man 9 significant? It
doesn’t hold people’s hands and guide
them through the game to bring an ac-
Bounced from camp to camp, Sally
soars to the top of ‘Holocaust prisoners
that sell their souls’ when he utilizes his
art skills to paint flattering portraits of
Nazi soldiers and their families as well
as Nazi-endorsing murals on camp
buildings. In a stroke of irony, Sally
finds himself in an unlikely position
when he is put in charge of a secret cur-
rency counterfeiting operation by none
other than top Nazi, Friedrich Herzog.
In an act of ‘Nazi altruism’ Herzog
thanks Sally for the promotion he re-
ceived as a result of handing over Ger-
many’s “King of Forgers” (think Nazi
from “The Pianist”). The currency op-
eration is as controversial and polariz-
cessible experience like most action
games in this high-definition genera-
tion. This game encourages masochism
from the minute you start to the minute
you finish. Oh, the nostalgia of the re-
tardedly-hard 8-bit era.
ing as Sally himself; proclaimed by the
film as history’s largest scale counterfeit
ring, it is said to have produced nearly
$100 million for the Nazis. Tensions
flare among the prisoners of the opera-
tion who battle with the self-realization
of their privileged positions as well as
their fundamental role in continuing
the Nazi’s reign of terror.
There are some truly heart-break-
ing moments in this film but the excel-
lent pacing does well to not linger on
any particular scene for too long. It’s not
much of a shocker-type movie; you
don’t necessarily watch to see what hap-
pens to Sally, but rather what he does.
His character, filled with flaws and a
sardonic sense of humor, is what makes
this film more humanizing and inter-
esting to watch than other Holocaust
films. Great supporting roles all around,
especially with Sally’s surrogate son
character, Kolya, (Sebastian Urzen-
dowsky) and the antagonistic Adolf
Burger (August Diehl). With it’s grainy
film, minimal color saturation, and
“400 Blows”-esque beach shots, it’s easy
to get entranced in this beautiful and
poetic piece. It’s also no surprise that
this film took top honors in the Foreign
Film category at last year’s Oscars for
Best Foreign Language Film. That being
said, put on your reading glasses and go
watch this film. This is one film that
even subtitles can’t kill.
The Stony Brook Press 29
30 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Poet’s Gallery Joyride of the sky doesn’t care how tall
Phantom Walls By Alana S. you are,
Untitled
By Samantha Monteleone Because you’ll never reach its
By Samantha
Let’s drive down to the vast pink- vast count of melodies and
Monteleone
Hypothetically speaking, I’m watching and-blue upstairs paintings of praise…
you Where everyone seems to think My travels have taught me the
soft, cool
Watching them about but no one seems to want Universe and Beyond,
sheep’s wool.
to go And by Beyond I mean too little
shroud me whole. Watch other people’s lives
In which they’ll never exist Let’s drive backwards and see that I am behind in my knowledge
tense, new
Contribute, distribute, insult OR re- where I stomach-ache mistakes, of how significantly small the
mourn dew.
volt Where the director of my docu- Universe is.
dark as coal.
It’s just a box mentary continually replays and Driving only takes me too far
light show
What’s more interesting is how they rewinds, from identity crisis’s,
rainbow.
watch it And I watch myself slide towards Of belonging to 2 people in the
lie with me.
Through your eyes I can see the wrong direction. same day,
weak smile
It’s reflecting soft and sarcastically Each and every time I twinge. Of a flashback of a haunted
sundial.
They feed off of each other Forget you, forget you, drive house, too dark and forgiving
let us be.
Feeding off the false away into for a
The amplified plastic stings Spurts of pleasant dusty nail- Jaded girl like me to be startled,
Through my phantom walls. biting stretches of blank pave- because my mind changes with
It was almost as if they could touch me ment, the
Watching them through your mirror Yes, every footstep is another Polluted orange sunset on a
The reflection ripples and fades memory spotless and clean. horizon I never meant to choose.
As your smile turns to interest Yes, my heartbeat is not to be I am driving through my own
Ingest, digest. trusted as it goes with the flow headache’s memories
I can’t believe it, is my seeker sold? of things, Some things should just wait for
I can feel my skin growing old While my unplanned blinking November to come…
I don’t like this station much eyes take in as much honesty as Let’s wish and hope and dream
I do think I’ll retire possible, of next month’s dismay
I change the channel And oh! how I hate the wind in And drive when even the sunset
And can’t believe I’m inspired. my hair. can’t cast a shadow on my re-
Accept and forget, and the pink grets…
The Stony Brook Press 31

Submit Your Comics

or Poems To:
sbpressnews@gmail.com

Go For It, Man!

I’m so depressed, I don’t know what to do...

Black to move, kill Whitey!

Go Club meets every Tuesday and
Thursday at 7pm in the Library
Commuter Lounge

I know FDR, and you’re no FDR By Andrew Fraley

32 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

opinion
Dear Ilyssa,
After reading your article last week
on Obama and McCain’s policies to-
wards gays and lesbians I was surprised
to see that you never mentioned Ralph
Nader as a candidate or any of his poli-
cies toward the gay community. As a
gay independent who is still unsure
about whom I am voting for, I would
appreciate if you could discuss his poli-
cies so I have a full picture of the
policies of all three candidates.
Thanks so much.
Ask a Lesbian By Ilyssa Fuchs
couples. Furthermore, Nader opposes
a constitutional amendment to ban
same-sex marriage and same-sex
unions and believes that same-sex
unions are a step in the right direction,
but are only a starting point because
they do not actually afford same-sex
couples all the rights that marriage
does. Moreover, Nader believes that
everyone should have equal protection
under the law regardless of their sexual
orientation and says that, “the only way
to ensure full equal rights is to recog-
nize same-sex marriage.” I personally
believe that Nader’s policies regarding
the gay and lesbian community are pos-
itive, but as we all know it is highly un-
likely that a third party candidate will
be elected. It is in my opinion that any-
one who believes in Nader’s policies
should vote for Obama rather than Mc-
Cain, or just vote for Nader himself.
Hope that clears things up.
Sincerely,
Ilyssa Fuchs
(Special thanks to www.votenader.org
for the information obtained for this ar-
ticle)

Sincerely,
Still Straddling the Fence

Dear Still Straddling,

I appreciate your concern

that I did not look at all the can-
didate’s policies. I agree with
you that in order to give voters
the full picture of all the candi-
dates, one must start by includ-
ing all the candidates and their
policies regarding all issues, but
in this case issues that directly
affect the gay community. After
doing a little research I am now
able to provide you with the facts
behind Nader’s policies. Nader,
like Obama, supports equal
rights for gays and lesbians as
Nader confesses his sad panda love for the gay community to his parrot, Cardozo
well as equal rights for same-sex

Aike-y Breaky Heart

hid it or couldn’t hide it..”
By Anthony Murisco Since 2003, the year of his Idol
debut, with his strong and powerful
voice and upliing tunes, he became a
Tuesday, September 23, 2008, is a spokesman for Christianity. He even ap-
day when many dreams were shattered. peared in Christian Music Planet as the
In a cover story for People magazine, “American Idol Christian”. Fans, usually
American Idol Season 2 runner-up Clay women, gravitated to his “aw-shucks”,
Aiken announced that he was a homo- old-fashioned boy personality, and
sexual. adopted the nickname “Claymates”.
Aer years of insults by Kathy ese fans were always the first to de-
Griffin, rumors, tabloid exposes (in- fend Aiken when he came under attack.
cluding an online sex scandal with a Having never spoken publicly
former US Marine) Clay finally felt that about this, the message boards over at
now, with the birth of his baby son with Claymaniacs.com were divided. To
his best friend, music producer Jaymes some, Clay is still the same old Clay;
Foster, it was time to break the silence. user GWENN, a woman with an avatar
Born in North Carolina and raised of her and her ideal man had this to say,
Southern Baptist, Clay always shied “Gay – So what? e man is drop dead
away from speculation on his sexuality. gorgeous.”
As per the Baptist beliefs, homosexuals Others debate how he could claim
are condemned; in the People issue Clay to be a Christian and a homosexual.
And I came out of the closet...
goes on to say in his hometown when User Diane on AikenForums.com puts
you realized you were gay “you either it, “sorry, the Bible says homosexuality
is wrong, and as a Christian I believe
that. We can't just follow the parts of the
Bible that we want or that are conven-
ient to us, or we are not Christians. And
he says he's a Christian. Too bad, I was
supporting him since 2003."
Some have gone as far as decoding
his previous antics, such as user Hav-
inaClayAffair who began to question
men who have been in and out of Clay’s
life throughout his career, “Where did
his best bud and high school friend take
off to. We heard an explanation of some
sort. I remember reading it… he just
sort of worked for Clay- then disap-
peared...”
What effect will this have on the
mold created by Clay? As one fan, user
WilsonClaymate on the Claymaniacs
forum puts it, “I love Clay Aiken un-
conditionally and I’m here for the long
hall.”
The Stony Brook Press
An Old Racist Remembers Coney Island...
By Ross Barkan
Holy shit, I’m old and angry. You
have no fucking idea. What? Cooney
what? Shut the fuck up, Jeremy, I don’t
want any ice cream. Fuck. Lemme tell
you young shitdicks something. If I
ever catch you goddamn ice wagon-
asses on my fucking lawn I swear to
God I will get the fuck off my Hover-
around and smack the shit out of you
with my ox cane. I fucking will, don’t
press me. What, Jeremy, Islands? Yeah
there should be a place to put the
blacks. Stealing my damn medicine.
Oh, Coney Island! Thanks,
limpdick, next time, don’t whisper like
a shit-eating little girl. Get a paper cone
and yell that garbage. Yeah, I got mem-
ories. Fuck, I lost my virginity on the
Cyclone back in ’19. Some hot fucking
broad she was, I think I was twelve at
the time, and I Jack Dempsey-ed her
Good times.
ass into the ground. ose were the
days. Back then, there weren’t any sissy
politically correct fuckhead hippies
with all their “rules.” A man could get a
good under-aged fuck on the Cyclone.
If his bowels were loose, like mine are
every goddamn hour, he could dump
MAKE BIG TIME PLAYS
IN BIG TIME SITUATIONS!
Opinion 33
his truck of shit in the nearest out-
house. Good times. Lemme tell you,
and if you couldn’t shit, Coney Island
had this great enema booth for a nickel.
A nickel! at was just aer the Great
War when the people were friendly and
you could get a tube shoved up your ass
with a smile. Jeremy, by the way, I’m
gonna need another enema in an hour,
so quit playing with your dick and
come take off my pants.
In my day, Coney Island was a
man’s park. Not this rinky-dinky,
namby-pampy, sissy-wissy, lollipop-
fucking amusement shithole they
closed down a few weeks ago. No!
ere were wooden horses and real cot-
ton candy. You young assrabbits ever
ate fucking cotton with sugar? Grab a
piece of cotton from your night shirt
Look at all those darkies
and just chew? Hell no, too busy with
your Ebays and your musicmaphones
and whatever the fuck else that ass-
clown Herbert Hoover shits down your grandmother underneath the board- took me to see a moving picture. It was
walk. I nearly soiled my diapers just all colors and flying shit and shapes and
now thinking ‘bout that. I remember other random horeseball malarkey that
the time Yankee center fielder Earle I couldn’t follow if I was Kaiser Wil-
Combs came down to Coney Island. He helm shitting rainbow colored goats.
was my favorite because he really hated Which reminds me, there were a few
the blacks. ose were the days. ey smelly Krauts in the front row and I
had Coney Island for the whites and told Jeremy to fetch me my liberty cab-
Black Coney Island for them jangling, bage gun so I could blow those goat
corncob good-for-nothin’…fuck I for- fuckers back to hell. Jeremy, who a
got where I was going with this again. woman wouldn’t fuck with a fishing
Jeremy, I need a fucking towel. No, shit- pole, ignored me.
for-tits, the yellow goddamn towel with Someday when they kick those
the thick lining I sprung another leak. whitish Cubans out of the Major
Goddamn that Hoover. Leagues and the horseless carriage
Yes, them were the days when breaks the impossible 30 mile per hour
women and the minorities weren’t sass- barrier, I hope to get the hell back to
ing about this and that. Just good angry Coney Island. ere were some good
white motherfuckers like me and times there. Beating up darkies, fuck-
enema booths, enema booths as far as ing broads, beating up darkies, moving
the eye could see! ey had the moving pictures, darkies again, enemas…ah it
pants. Alfred Smith will be the next pictures at Coney Island too. For a makes an old man want to cry. If only
president of the United States if my damn nickel you could see Chaplin and they didn’t surgically remove my eyes
name ain’t…fuck I can’t remember. a kangaroo give Orson Wells a reach last Christmas. ose were the days.
Back in the 20’s people swam in around. Moving pictures today are for Now get the fuck over to my Hov-
fucking real bathing suits. If rubber one shit, I tell you. Last week Jeremy, my eraround Jeremy it’s a god damn shit-
pieces didn’t get the ladies wet, nothing good-for-nothing-except-for-maybe- storm in my trousers.
BIG TIME LETTERS
would. I fucked Marilyn Monroe’s sweeping-my-skin flakes grandson
34 Sports
Hofstra Beats SBU... By A Lot... Again
By Matt Braunstein
On Friday, September 27, the Stony
Brook men’s football team charged onto
their home field with intensity and de-
termination. It was a cold and misty
night, and as usual their stadium was
not nearly filled to capacity, but this did
not deter them. This was quite possibly
the biggest game of their season; a tele-
vised clash with our rival, the Hofstra
Pride.
The Seawolves received the open-
ing kickoff and proceeded to march
down the field under the leadership of
freshman QB Dayne Hoffman and
helped by some excellent running from
junior RB Conte Cuttino. The offense
shook off two penalties along the open-
ing drive, and on a third and long Hoff-
man dropped back, pump faked, looked
off his receivers, and threw a tight beau-
tiful spiral to senior receiver Dwayne
Eley in the end zone. The ball touched
Eley’s hands, the crowd erupted in cele-
bration, and then he dropped the touch-
down pass. From that point on the
game went downhill, and Seawolves
went up shit creek.
Hofstra beat SBU handily by a score
of 43-3. As if a pounding like that was-
n’t enough, it was the 12th time in row
the Pride has beat SBU. Though the
teams are considered rivals, the rivalry
is a bit one sided as previous to this
game, Hofstra had beat Stony Brook all
eleven times the teams faced off. The
worst loss came two years ago in a 55-0
trouncing, but this past week’s game
wasn’t much better.
The Seawolves scored on only one of
Seawolves Futbol
By Peter Langone
The Men’s Soccer team experienced
another disappointing loss to Towson
last Saturday in front of a big Stony
Brook crowd. The large crowd, due to
the Seawolves’ annual Alumni day,
cheered throughout the whole game for
a team that had stepped up their game
but just couldn’t put the ball in the net.
The team’s defense started off strong,
not allowing the Towson offense to get
off one shot. The sole goal of the game
came in the 62nd minute by Towson’s
forward Liam Maloney. This win was
much needed to boost the seawolves’
their eleven possessions throughout the
course of the game, a field goal in the
first half. The other ten times they
punted, gave up possession on downs or
simply turned the ball over. In total, the
Seawolves offense amassed 72 rushing
yards, 139 passing yards, and no touch-
downs. It should be noted also that Hof-
stra did have male cheerleaders on the
Hostra is preparing to violate Stony Brook beyond the actual 41-3 score
sideline, so they also beat us in gayness.
Though the offense showed it was more
than capable when executed properly,
they were plagued by mistakes from the
start of the game. They made three
penalties (all at crucial points in the
game), threw two interceptions and lost
two fumbles, one of which was returned
sixty yards for a touchdown by Hofstra
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
DB Leslie Jackman.
Snapping the ball was also a problem,
perhaps caused by the light rain that
persisted throughout the game. Both on
special teams and in the shotgun for-
mation, the ball was launched over the
QB or punter’s head more than once,
and resulted in a loss of yards and con-
tinued frustration.
Najib Aminy
Hofstra was not nearly as stagnant
on offense, gaining 155 yards on the
ground and 161 yards through the air,
leading to a total of five touchdowns.
They also kicked a field goal, returned a
fumble for a touchdown and were able
to convert eight of thirteen third downs.
Stony Brook only converted three of
eleven on their crucial downs.
This loss brings SBU’s record to 1-4
this season. However, all hope is not lost
as the team still has not faced any of
their conference opponents in the
newly joined Big South division. The
Seawolves also have an extra week of
practice to regroup and prepare for a
game at Liberty University on Oct. 11.
The team this year is not untalented
by any means. Though QB Hoffman is
in his first year, he seems to have a grasp
on the offense and shows poise in the
pocket. RB Cuttino is as fast and hard-
hitting as ever, and now has a nice com-
plement in freshman RB Edwin
Gowins. Reliable senior WR Lynell
Suggs was out with an injury for most
of the game, but the team’s number two
receiving threat, Eley, played well de-
spite his early touchdown drop. He is a
small, shifty receiver in the mold of the
Panther’s Steve Smith, and has excellent
hands.
The offensive line remains as the
team’s biggest strength, as they gave up
no sacks to Hofstra and continue to do
work in the trenches. They are a bulky
and powerful squad anchored on the
left side by senior LT and team captain
Lawrence Lovell and massive senior LG
Steve Council. The run defense is solid
but the pass defense is a bit shaky, but
there is no doubt that head coach Jim
Priore will have the team working hard
during practice to improve.
So yes, Hofstra wiped up the floor
with Stony Brook this past Friday, and
yes it was the 12th time in a row they did
it. But just remember, they have male
cheerleaders and we don’t, and god-
dammit, that is something to be proud
of.
morale, just before heading on a four
game road trip beginning the following
Monday against Marist. The Seawolves
took many good shots, with a total of
eleven for the game. Their inability to
score was due to their lack of experience
on the field. Coach Cesar Markovic
played a freshman attack and midfield,
which, although talented, were not able
to finish off necessary plays to gain a
lead. Junior James Palumbo subbed in
late in the first half and began to give
the offense the life it needed. He
quickly took control of the game, dis-
tributing good balls and ripping a thirty
yard shot, but was just barely blocked by
Towson’s keeper. Palumbo left the game
injured within the first fifteen minutes
The Stony Brook Press
of the second half due to a head injury
incurred while trying to contest a
header with one of Towson’s defense-
men. The Seawolves were unable to
match the intensity of a rough Towson
team, who were playing very rough de-
fense.
The team was once again shut out
for the second game in a row vs. Marist
College. The team was plagued with in-
juries to most of its starters that oc-
curred in both the last game and the
rough practices their coach has been
putting them through. Junior Mihailo
Pavlisin took two great shots that were
denied by the Marist keeper. Marist
scored early in the 16th minute to give
Marist a 1-0 lead. The ball hit off the
cross bar and trickled into the goal.
Heading to Ohio, the team had low
expectations coming into the game
NHL Preview
By Daniel Offner
As time winds down and the fall
comes ever closer, something draws
slowly within reach… the 2008-2009
hockey season! The following is an in-
depth look at some of you favorite
hockey teams and their prospects for
the upcoming season:
The New York Rangers: As the
team dons their “Broadway Blues” to
begin the new season some additions
were made to the roster. Dale Weise,
who was drafted fourth round in 2008,
is currently on the starting roster and
will probably be replaced by Lauri Kor-
pikoski. Over the summer some major
players were lost and some were gained.
Key players such as Sean Avery (picked
up by Dallas), Ryan Hollweg (picked up
Toronto), Jaromir Jagr (went to play for
Avangard Omsk in Russia), Martin
Straka (retired and went to play for HC
Lasselberger Plzen in the Czech Repub-
lic) and Brendan Shanahan (still an un-
restricted free agent) were lost.
However gained was Wade Redden,
Nikolai Zherdev, Dan Fritsche, Aaron
Voros, Patrick Rissmiller and Markus
Naslund. Also in a recent preseason
game ex-Ranger, Petr Nedved, has been
playing and may potentially join the
team.
Prediction: The Rangers have an
all-star team this year and have serious
drive from last years’ playoffs against
the Penguins. I predict this team will
definitely make it to the postseason but
the cup isn’t etched in stone. Grade A-
The New York Islanders: The Is-
landers look prepared to redeem them-
selves from last year’s fiasco season in
which the team finished thirteenth out
against Akron, their third ranked oppo-
nent this season. The 9th ranked team
had a hard time against a Stony Brook
team coming off a losing streak of three
games. The defense played very physi-
cally against a strong offense that was
expected to score more then just one
goal. It came with nine seconds left in
the second half by Steve Zakuani.
Goalie Dawid Ditrich tallied three saves
that kept the Seawolves tied for most of
the game. Hopefully the men’s team can
keep on their great play and momentum
going into another tough match against
22nd ranked Duke on Tuesday Septem-
ber 20, ending their road game trip.
Duke, powered by senior forward Mike
Grella, will be a tough opponent for the
men’s team.
The men’s team is now 2-7-1, with
most of their loses coming from non-
of fifteen teams in their conference.
Kyle Okposo, the NY Islanders first
round choice in 2006, has already been
signed onto the starting roster. Also
over the off-season the Islanders picked
up veteran Doug Weight, and Mark
Streit from Montreal.
Prediction: The Islanders don’t have
a good team however they have initia-
tive. They have to pull themselves out of
the slump they had last year in order to
have any chance to make it to the play-
offs. Grade C-
The New Jersey Devils: Last year
they were one of the best teams around
and experienced one of the worst post
seasons. However the Devils are pre-
pared to recover—with full force. Bobby
Holik, ex-Devil, has been re-signed to
the team via free agency. With Brodeur
between the pipes the season is almost
guaranteed to be stirring. However, he
is now 36 and there is always the possi-
bility that he has hit his prime and will
begin sloping down hill now.
Prediction: If all goes to plan the
conference teams. Their next home
game is against Boston University on
Wednesday, October 20 at Lavalle Sta-
dium.
Devils will have a good year. However,
odds are they will blow it in the post
season if they make it. Grade B
The Buffalo Sabres: The team that
has gone through five captains last year
seems to have settled with their choice
in Jason Pominville. Teppo Numminen,
Jochen Hecht and Derek Roy will be Al-
ternate Captains respectively. Jimmy
Bonneau, Tyler Bouck, Mathieu
Darche, Craig Rivet and Patrick Lalime
were picked up in free agency.
(Prediction: The team looks good
on page and on the ice. After last years
disappointing season the team needs a
boost.) Grade B+
Detroit Redwings: The reigning
champions of hockey get prepared to
play yet another season with all new ad-
ditions to an already stacked team. One
such free agent sniped by Detroit is
Marian Hossa, an all-star in the sport.
For a team that has players like Datsyuk,
Zetterberg, Lidstrom, Rafalski, Cleary,
Franzen, and Flippula, what more can
they want?
Prediction: Hockeytown may win
another cup and possibly head towards
a dynasty with a team like this. Grade
A+
Pittsburgh Penguins: The 2007-
2008 season showed how Sydney
Crosby isn’t really the glue holding this
team together. Evgeni Malkin (drafted
second overall in 2004, a year before
“Sid the Kid”) pulled together a whop-
ping 106 points in the season. Some
new additions to this team are Eric Go-
dard, Ruslan Fedotenko and Miroslav
Satan.
Prediction: Penguins will make it to
the playoffs but will probably lose to a
team in their own conference unless
there is a more dramatic amount of
teamwork on the part of the show-
Sports 35
Note: e Stony Brook Press wants
you to remember that
BIG TIME futbol players make
BIG TIME futbol plays in...
BIG
TIME
FUTBOL
SITUATIONS
boater Sydney Crosby. Grade A
Quick Grades:
Anaheim Ducks – C
Atlanta Thrashers – D- (This team
needs to be completely restructured)
Boston Bruins – D
Calgary Flames – C+
Carolina Hurricanes – C-
Chicago Blackhawks – B-
Colorado Avalanche – B
Columbus Blue jackets – D (B for Pascal
Leclaire, a sophomore goalie, who had
9 shut outs and a save percentage of .919
in his rookie season.)
Dallas Stars – A
Edmonton Oilers- C+
Florida Panthers – D
Los Angeles Kings – C-
Minnesota Wild – B
Montreal Canadians – A
Nashville Predators – D (B+ for the
goalie Dan Ellis)
Ottawa Senators – B-
Philadelphia Flyers – C-
Phoenix Coyotes – D
San Jose Sharks – B+
St. Louis Blues – C+
Tampa Bay Lightning – B+ (Steve
Stamkos, the number one player from
the NHL draft, will be on the starting
lineup. Could give this team the drive
they so eagerly need).
Toronto Maple Leafs – C-
Vancouver Canucks – B-
Washington Capitals – B+ (A+ for
Alexander Ovechkin)
Some special events happening this
hockey season are, opening games in
Stockholm, Sweden and Prague, Czech
Republic, the winter classic in Chicago’s
Wrigley Field and the retirement of
players like Adam Graves.
36 Sports
Shea Goodbye
By Jason Wirchin
“Next stop, Shea Stadium.” Any
lifelong Mets fan and experienced sub-
way rider knows that those four words
crackling over the 7 train’s speakers can
only mean one thing: home is near. For
45 years, our beloved ballpark in
Queens has provided us with memories
to last a lifetime and summer after-
noons to savor forever. Even if they
meant emptying our wallets just to get
there. But as another season draws to a
close, this sky-high monument to the
Boys of Summer (and many others)
takes its final bow as it closes its doors
and gives way to Citi Field next April.
So in honor of Shea’s last hoorah, let us
take a trip down Roosevelt Avenue (to
the corner of 126th Street, of course) and
reflect on nearly a half-century of un-
forgettable moments, rockin’ concerts,
and way too expensive hot dogs.
Built in 1964 in conjunction with
the World’s Fair, Shea’s early years were
marked by baseball…absolutely terrible
baseball! In the Mets’ first year there,
they won a dismal 53 games and lost
109. Would you expect any better with
no-names like Hawk Taylor, Bobby
Klaus, and Roy McMillan in the start-
ing lineup? Not exactly Murderer’s Row,
huh! Shea did host the All-Star Game
that year, though it was the only time
the Midsummer Classic ever came to
Flushing. Nonetheless, throughout
most of the 60’s, the Mets never placed
better than ninth in the National
League. Then came 1969.
Up until the summer of that year,
the Mets continued to play one
mediocre game after another and it
seemed as if ‘69 was bound to turn out
like the club’s previous seven seasons.
However, by the All-Star break in July,
the Amazins’ had moved into second
place in the National League East, trail-
ing the Cubs by only 4.5 games in the
standings. Remarkably winning 37 of
their last 48 games, the team took over
first place on September 10, and
clinched the division crown on Septem-
ber 24 in a 6-0 win over the Cardinals.
They went on to defeat the Braves in the
League Championship Series and
slaughtered the Orioles in five games to
win the World Series at Shea on Octo-
ber 16. The lovable losers were losers no
more and ruled as the Kings of Queens.
Following their first championship
in franchise history, the Mets returned
to the Fall Classic in 1973 – with the
help of Tug McGraw’s “Ya Gotta Be-
lieve” mantra – only to lose to the Ath-
letics in seven games. For the next
decade, the team hit its doldrums and it
wasn’t until the mid-1980’s that the Shea
faithful began to feel the winds of Oc-
tober start to blow. In 1986, the Mets
dominated the National League. Fin-
ishing the regular season in first place
with a 108-54 record and a 21.5 game
lead over the Phillies in the division (oh,
how nice that would be today!); these
Bad Boys were a team of destiny. They
were unruly, they were obnoxious, but
they were good, really good! After de-
feating the Astros in a six-game Na-
tional League Championship Series, the
Mets found themselves back in the
World Series.
After losing the first two games at
home and winning the next two out of
three up in Boston, the team returned
to Shea facing elimination. But this trip
home would be different. The reason?
Game Six. On October 25, in front of a
paid crowd of more than 55,000, Boston
was one out away from winning their
first title in 68 years. Yet these Mets
would not back down, and, perhaps
with a little help from the baseball gods
Mookie Wilson’s slow roller up the first
base line somehow found its way under
Bill Buckner’s legs and…, well, the rest
is history. Two days later, the team won
its second Series. Shea shook. Queens
quaked. The Mets were once again
champions of the world!
In 1988, Shea had playoff fever yet
again. This time, though, the magic of
‘86 had worn off and the dream was not
to be. After losing a seven-game NLCS
to the Dodgers, that ass-haulin’ squad
from just two seasons earlier was slowly
dismantled and a new era of Mets
would enter the scene. Nothing spec-
tacular came from the 1989 to 1998
teams, the next two years finally gave
Mets fans reason to believe. Having
clinched the NL wild card in 1999,
Bobby Valentine’s bunch found them-
selves in a spot to win the Division Se-
ries at home. Up three games to one
versus the Diamondbacks, back-up
catcher Todd Pratt came to the plate in
the bottom of the tenth with the score
locked at three. One swing of the bat
was all it took as Pratt launched a series-
clinching homer over the wall that just
eluded centerfielder Steve Finley’s glove.
Radio announcer Gary Cohen called it
best: “It’s outta here! It’s outta! Pratt hit
it over the fence! Mets win the ball-
game!”
The Mets proceeded to face the
Braves in the second round of the ‘99
playoffs, and despite Robin Ventura’s fa-
mous “grand slam single” in the bottom
of the fifteenth to force a game six; At-
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Bye Bye Apple
lanta squashed the hopes of so many
eager fans as they won the series (but
lost to the Yankees in the Fall Classic –
nice!). Speaking of those damn Yan-
kees, 2000 was a year for the ages. In
the first Subway Series World Series
since 1956 (when the Yanks played the
Dodgers), the Mets battled their cross-
town rivals in a fan-crazy media frenzy.
The city was ablaze in blue, orange, and
pinstripes, and what better place to host
the middle games of the series than at
rickety Shea. The Mets salvaged the
first game at home, but that was all. The
Bombers went on to win the Series two
nights later.
After a six-year layoff, Willie Ran-
dolph’s boys roared through the rest of
the National League in 2006. Dubbed a
relentless pursuit for the postseason, the
team’s journey from Game 1 through
Game 162 was marked by one stellar
win after another. Clinching the fran-
chise’s first division title since 1988, the
dynamic duo of Reyes & Wright pro-
pelled the team past the Dodgers in the
NLDS and into a classic second-round
showdown with the Cardinals. Forced
to a defining Game 7, Shea was the
scene for two of the most exhilarating
and heart-breaking events in club his-
tory. Following Endy Chavez’s super-
man catch to rob Scott Rolen of a home
run in the sixth, Carlos Beltran took a
called third strike to end the game, the
series, and the dreams of Mets fans
from Manhattan to Montauk. It still
hurts.
Playoff appearances aside, the sta-
dium has had no shortage of “Amazin’”
moments. In April 1997 on the 50th an-
niversary of Jackie Robinson’s first game
in the Major Leagues, Commissioner
Bud Selig officially retired number 42
throughout all of baseball, as President
Bill Clinton and Jackie Robinson’s
widow, Rachel Robinson, looked on.
And who could forget that stirring Mike
Piazza home run in New York’s first
sporting event since 9/11? With tens of
thousands of uneasy fans packed into
Shea, the place served as a house of
community, a house of togetherness. As
Piazza’s shot soared majestically over
the centerfield fence, New Yorkers, at
least for a night, had something to cheer
about.
Although they are the ballpark’s
primary tenants, the Mets aren’t the
only team to have ever called Shea
home. The Jets played their home
games there from 1964 to 1983 and the
Giants, in 1975. Shea actually hosted
both New York football teams, the Mets
and the Yankees, in 1975 as Yankee Sta-
dium underwent renovations. Pity the
schedule makers that year!
More than just an all around sport-
ing venue, however, over the years Shea
has served as quite the musical scene.
From The Beatles’ landmark concerts in
1965 and 1966, Shea has hosted the likes
of Jimi Hendrix, Jethro Tull, The Who,
The Police, Simon and Garfunkel, The
Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, and Bruce
Springsteen. This past summer, Billy
Joel played two concerts to commemo-
rate the stadium’s ultimate season.
So as autumn arrives and leaves the
traces of summer behind, we salute
Shea one final time. We will miss its de-
plorable parking, $20 foam fingers,
stray cats, and ear-shattering sound sys-
tem; and we’ll never forget the con-
stantly flooded bathrooms (which
resemble Temples of Doom, if anything
else). Granted, it has its quirks, but
they’re our quirks. What else would you
expect from an outdated heap of steel
and concrete nestled between Queens’
best junkyards and the Whitestone Ex-
pressway? As Citi Field looms omi-
nously over the centerfield fence, it’s
clear that Shea’s days are through. The
last beer will be sold, the last out will be
made, and the last fans will leave the
turnstiles. But regardless of when our
beloved park falls to the wrecking ball,
that big ol’ blue, cookie-cutter of a sta-
dium will always remind us of what it
means to be a kid again. As tough as
this is to say…..Farewell, dear friend.
Thanks for the memories.
The Stony Brook Press
I Hate It When Red Sox Fans Are Right
By David Robin
It’s the last week of the 2008 Major
League Baseball season and much like
every season since 1996, the Tampa Bay
Rays are in first place of the American
League(AL) East…WHAT?! The sports
section of the newspaper has many
typos these days. Either that or the ab-
sence of the word “devil” from the name
of the team from Tampa actually
boosted their performance. The Devil
Rays were last place with 96 losses last
season and this season, the Rays are at
the top and currently have 96 wins, with
three games left to play. With this im-
pressive turnaround, they are clearly the
biggest story of the AL East. When peo-
ple talk about baseball, they talk about
either the rise of the Rays or the fall of
the New York Yankees. The Yankees
have 87 wins and 72 losses as of today,
only a few games back from last year’s
94-68 record. This may not seem like a
big difference but they currently sit in
third place in the division, with no
chance of the playoffs for the first time
since 1995. This may not seem like a big
idea to some, but this is New York and
they are the Yankees, they have no
choice but to make it to the playoffs!
I want Bud Selig, the Commis-
sioner of Major League Baseball to take
back those words he said in 2003, where
he complained about the “competitive
imbalance” in baseball. The Yankees are
in third place and the Rays, a team that
has never made the play-offs, are in
first. What did the Yankees do wrong?
Wow, A-Rod sucks at everything.
What change dragged them down the
standings for the whole duration of the
season? Was it the players? This is
clearly not the case because the Yankees
did not make as many changes over the
offseason as usual. Almost all of the
starting players from 2007 were back on
the team last April, destroying any
thoughts of the team not “meshing.”
Was it Joe Torre’s stoic face in the
dugout that made the difference? He
had a managerial record of 1,173 – 767
during his 12-year term with the Yan-
kees. He left at the end of last year and
Joe Girardi edged out Don Mattingly
for the manager job during the offsea-
son. While Girardi was the 2006 NL
Manager of Year with the Marlins, his
job this year with the Yankees has to be
looked at with scrutiny. While it is dif-
ficult to find out what happens behind
the scenes, Girardi was the biggest
change from last season and the deci-
sions of a manager can greatly affect a
ballclub.
Another scapegoat of the Yankees’
plummet is the Yankees General Man-
ager, Brian Cashman. While he has
been with the Yankees since 1998, he
has been at the helm for 3 World Series
titles. While he has signed great players
like Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui,
he has also signed huge busts like Jaret
Wright, Jose Contreras, Kei Igawa,
Kevin Brown, and Carl Pavano. Is it
possible that these bad moves have
compounded over time and finally
greatly affected the Yankees? The same
thing happened to the Braves, who are
in 4th place, 18 games out of first place.
While looking at management, the
owners of the Yankees, Hank and Hal
Steinbrenner. Last year, the never sub-
tle George Steinbrenner was the owner
of the team. He has always given play-
ers and managers a short leash and
while he has been criticized for his
moves, he always puts winning before
everything else. While this may not
have been healthy, especially since he
stepped down after being too sick to
continue as the owner, it may have
given motivation to the team that sim-
ply not exist with George’s sons. Okay,
enough about management, let’s look at
the players, since they are the ones who
actually play out the games.
The Yankees pitching has been seen
as inferior to previous years, especially
due to early season injuries. They were
already gambling during spring train-
ing with a starting rotation consisting of
Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy, two un-
proven rookies. The third notable
rookie, Joba Chamberlin, was going to
be a starter but began the season as the
Pictures are often worth a thousand words.
setup reliever, his proven position.
Hughes and Kennedy did not perform
to expectations and they both ended up
getting injured, as well as the Yankees
ace, Chien Ming Wang. However, the
holes were filled and the rotation did
much better than expected. Mike
Mussina had arguably the best season of
his career, with a 19-9 record and a 3.47
ERA. In addition, Andy Pettitte went
14-14 with a 4.54 ERA which wasn’t his
best but he still had many impressive
outings. Rookie reliever, Dan Giese had
a 3.53 ERA and while he only started
three games, he still came through
when it counted. Chamberlin also came
through once he became a starter but
was bitten by the injury bug. However,
hese few positives could not outweigh
the negatives and the injuries. Sidney
Ponson had one or two good starts but
he was inconsistent, Carl Pavano is pro-
viding too little, too late, and a 5.34 ERA
and a 5-10 record was not what the Yan-
kees expected when they called up Dar-
rell Rasner. Without the injuries, these
weaknesses in the farm system may not
have been revealed and the Yankees
may have had a stronger starting rota-
tion, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and
hitting is also important in baseball.
The Yankees are .259 with runners
in scoring position. This is the worst
that they have done in these clutch situ-
ations in a long time. When watching a
Yankee game this season, it is hard to
get excited when players are in scoring
position because the Yankees have flat-
out not come through in these situa-
tions. However, the Rays also have a
very low batting average with runners
in scoring position so the importance of
this statistic may be overstated. Many of
the Yankee starters have not had the
Sports 37
seasons that were expected of them.
Derek Jeter has finally made it just over
.300 with only 69 runs batted in (RBIs).
Abreu is batting .296 with only 20
homeruns and Alex Rodriguez is at .300
with only 101 RBIs , impressive statis-
tics but not what A-Rod is used to.
Cano is batting only .264 with 66 RBIs,
Melky Cabrera was batting .243 with 46
RBIs before he was sent down to the
minor leagues, and Giambi is sitting at
.251, a far cry from the .342 that he
posted in 2002. It seems as if almost all
of the Yankees most important hitters
just fell into a malaise. Injuries are also
a key element to the collapse of the Yan-
kee offense. Jeter and A-Rod were in-
jured early in the season, with Matsui
and Posada following soon after.
Damon had a good season until his
shoulder bothered him, sitting him out
for an important segment of the season.
While Molina did a satisfactory job be-
hind the plate and the Xavier Nady was
a great addition from the Pirates, it just
wasn’t enough. Cody Ransom, Brett
Gardner, and Justin Christian tried
their best to fill in the numerous holes
but they could not compensate from the
great loss. This combination of injuries
and bad years for many players defi-
nitely contributed to their collapse.
After examining these factors, it is
apparent that it was not one factor, but
a combination of different ones which
led to the fall of the Yankees- much like
the fall of the Holy Roman Empire. The
debate will continue all offseason but it
is very hard to blame only one aspect of
the Yankees’ failure. The only thing left
to say, is that maybe the new Yankee
Stadium will revitalize the team next
season. Let’s Go Mets?
38 Sports
Sports Fortnight In Review
By Habib Aminy
Staff Writer tk
The top news this past week was the
“fundamentaly strong economy” falter-
ing even more and the presidential de-
bates which were just like any other
presidential debate, filled with rhetoric,
hyperboles, castigation and the same BS
promises by politicians. Quoting Nikita
Khrushchev, “Politicians promise
bridges when there are no rivers.” As an
informed American, it’s demoralizing
that these politicians who have the
power and money to make a difference
create more problems than what they
“fix.” One of the many reasons why
sports is interesting and politics is de-
pressing is because there is nothing
shady to what you’re watching or any
corruption unless you are watching the
MLB with steroid infested players, the
New England Patriots, or the NBA with
its gambling referees. The headlines of
the past sports week comprise of the
amazin’ Mets failing to make the play-
offs, Allan Houston coming back to the
Knicks, Brett Favre’s record day against
the Cardinals and Sugar Shane Mosley’s
fight against Ricardo Mayorga this past
Saturday night.
As I predicted in last issue’s article,
the Mets choked and will miss the play-
offs. My prediction came true when the
Mets lost to the Florida Marlins in their
final game at Shea Stadium. If Family
Feud were to have a question on how
the Mets lose, the top answer would
most certainly be their bullpen. With
the game tied 2-2 at the top of the
eighth, former Atlanta Braves first base-
man Wes Helms hit a bomb off Scott
Schoeneweis. Dan Uggla then hit a
homer as well, this one off Luis Ayala,
to make it 4-2. Though this game
wouldn’t be classified under the embar-
rassing major league leading thirty
blown saves by the Mets bullpen, the
pen clearly didn’t do their job again, and
it didn’t help that the offense couldn’t hit
against Florida’s pitchers. David Wright
mirrored Barack Obama’s diplomatic
style after the game saying, “We failed.
We failed as a team. There’s no pointing
fingers. There’s no excuses. We as a unit
didn’t get the job done.” Had David
Wright followed John McCain’s style, he
would have stated, “My friends, my
friends, I did my job. The bullpen were
terrorists and that’s why we didn’t make
the playoffs. We need to get rid of these
terrorists or we will always miss the
playoffs.” As the Mets experienced
“Shea-Ja Vu,” the Brewers are heading to
the playoffs after a 26-year hiatus. Such
an occasion calls for a champagne cele-
bration best equipped with Michael
Phelps swimming goggles, the majority
of the Brewers styled.
Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008
With both the Yankees and Mets
out of the playoffs, the local newspapers
are finally going to report on real sports
like football, basketball and hockey.
Yes, hockey is a sport that is far more
athletic and entertaining than baseball.
I make this complaint about the news-
papers over-posting on baseball because
it is disappointing to have reporters post
BS articles for seven months about
baseball players’ lives. For example, do
we have to know how Alex Rodriquez
likes men, or how the Mets bullpen
watches Déjà Vu before every game. As
for the Mets, Yankees and my Braves
there is always next year. Though this
past year was a disappointment, to say
the least, for all these capitalistically tal-
ented teams that are all for “orgy spend-
ing,” one must commend Larry
“Chipper” Jones for winning the Na-
tional League batting title, hitting .364
for the year.
Moving onto the NFL, Brett Favre
had an amazing game as the Jets de-
feated the Arizona Cardinals. Throwing
for a franchise tying record of six touch-
downs, and going 24-for-34 for 289
yards and an interception, Brett Favre
silenced all the critics and has kept hope
alive for Jets fans. His counterpart, Kurt
Warner, statistically went bananas
throwing 40-of-57 for 472 yards with
two touchdowns, though the four
turnovers by Warner (two interceptions
and two fumbles) were critical in that it
led to Jets scoring every time. Had it not
been for seven turnovers by the Arizona
Canaries, this game would have been far
closer because both defenses were pa-
thetic.
Moving on to the entertaining, yet
loser loaded, Knicks, another bone-
headed move was made by the Knicks’
management in signing 37-year-old vet-
eran, Allan Houston. Absent from the
game for a good five years, there is
heavy doubt as to whether the move
was a wise one; to be more precise, the
Knicks need big men that play defense
like Marcus Camby or Tyson Chandler.
There are also rumors that Stephon
Marbury’s contract will be bought out
in the upcoming weeks and will be re-
leased as a result. It is sad that it has
come to this in the Starbury Saga be-
cause Stephon gave it his all when he
did play. Only time will tell what will
happen with Marbury and Houston be-
cause the Knicks have seventeen players
on the roster and teams are only al-
lowed fifteen at the start of the season.
If I were a betting man, Jerome James’
and Marbury’s contracts would be
bought out.
Closing out this week in sports is
this past Saturday night’s fight between
Sugar Shane Mosley and Ricardo May-
orga, which can be described as hu-
morous. Mayorga’s punching accuracy
was horrendous at 12% compared to
Mosley at 40%. Mayorga spent more
time cheering and pumping his fist than
actually punching Sugar Shane. He was
also more accurate in hugging Mosley
at almost 1000% accuracy. Mosley, on
the other hand, was just beating the hell
out of Mayorga, and I give credit to
Mayorga for being Mosley’s punching
bag. The final round was entertaining,
with Mosley delivering left jabs and left
hooks with Mayorga getting dizzy and
what not. Mosley knocked out Mayorga
with fifteen seconds left in the final
round, and Mayorga got up at about
seven seconds left. Then, with one sec-
ond, left Sugar Shane puts the icing on
the cake, getting the second KO with a
devastating left hook dead on in the
middle of Mayorga’s face. In closing I
leave you with a thought, why are the
Mets known as the “Amazin’ Mets”?
The Stony Brook Press
North
Pittsburgh Steelers
(3-1)
So Alan Faneca le the Steelers and
Ben Roethlisberger is going for the re-
ocrd of most frequently sacked QB.
Awesome.
Baltimore Ravens
(2-2)
Whatever. Boring team. ey haven’t
had anything interesting happen to
them since they won the Super Bowl
eight years ago and Ray Lewis
murdered that guy.
Cleveland Browns
(1-3)
You know your team is bad when they
have to beat the Bengals in order to get
their first win.
Cincinatti Bengals
(0-4)
You know your team is bad when you
can’t beat the Browns to break a three
game losing streak.
South
Tennessee Titans
(4-0)
e Titans have a strong chance at
being 5-0 going into their upcoming
bye-week.With an impressive defense,
the Titans should win over the Ravens.
Jacksonville Jaguars
(2-2)
Aer losing two nail biters to start off
their season, the Jaguars have re-
bounded by winning two nail biters.
Indianapolis Colts
(1-2)
DSRL veteran Peyton Manning and
the Colts had their bye and look to
take control of a division they once
ruled with an iron fist.
Houston Texans
(0-3)
e Texans gave it their all against the
Jaguars only to lose in OT. Hungry for
their first win, the Texans will face the
demoralized Colts.
Have fun reading this while you are in some boring class.
East
Buffalo Bills
(4-0)
Buffalo joins the Titans and the Giants
as the only undefeated teams in the
NFL. Who is their quarterback again?
New England Patriots
(2-1)
Coming off an embarassing loss to the
Dolphins, the bye comes at a perfect
time for the NFL’s biggest cheaters as
they can think about how much they
will suck.
New York Jets
(2-2)
e Brett Favre is back and he is better
then ever. Suprisingly, with six touch-
down passes, John Madden is still
alive.
Miami Dolphins
(1-2)
With a big win over the Patriots, Ron-
nie Brown looks to be the sleeper pick
of the year.
West
Denver Broncos
(3-1)
Starting the season off 3-0 only to lose
to the Kansas City Chiefs creates
doubt into the legitmacy of this team.
San Diego Chargers
(2-2)
e Chargers finally win over two not-
so-impressive teams. To their benefit,
they face the Dolphins next.
Oakland Raiders
(1-3)
Raiders are sticking to what they know
best. Losing.
Kansas City Chiefs
(1-3)
Congrats to the Chiefs for winning
what will be their only victory of the
season.
Love,
e Press
North
Green Bay Packers
(2-2)
You were probably expectng a compar-
ison between Favre and Rodgers. Look
at their records. Happy?
Chicago Bears
(2-2)
Big win over a stong Eagles team.
ough the offense was sloppy,
Urlacher and the defense came up big.
Note: Rex is still on the bench.
Minnesota Vikings
(1-3)
So Travaaris was replaced by Gus Fer-
otte. Peterson scored, Vikings defense
let up. Vikings lose. Adrian still a
prime fantasy player.
Detroit Lions
(0-3)
You know your team sucks when the
only news mention you get is the firing
of your team president. Looks like the
anksgiving game will be lame.
South
Carolina Panthers
(3-1)
e Panthers killed the Falcons like
Michael Vick killed dogs.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
(3-1)
Aer his three-month old son died in
his sleep, Tampa Bay kicker Matt
Bryant scored almost half of the team’s
points.
New Orleans Saints
(2-2)
No Colston, no Shockey, no problem.
Atlanta Falcons
(2-2)
Beating the Chiefs means very little
when you get killed in your next game.
Sports 39
East
New York Giants
(3-0)
Winning a close game against the Ben-
gals, the Giants had a bye and Plaxico
was fined for the 50th time of his
Giant career. He is breaking records.
Washington Redskins
(3-1)
Aer losing to the Giants, the Red-
skins have turned their season around
and proven that they can compete in
the toughest division in the NFL.
Dallas Cowboys
(3-1)
How many times was T.O. thrown the
ball? ough an onside kick may have
allowed the Cowboys to come back, all
the hype can now end.
Philadelphia Eagles
(2-2)
Despite what their record may indi-
cate, the Eagles are a force to be reck-
oned with. Note: Hank Baskett is a
poor fantasy football option.
West
Arizona Cardinals
(2-2)
Kurt Warner throws for 8 million
yards but turns over the ball too many
times.
San Francisco 49ers
(2-2)
Who is their QB again?
Seattle Seahawks
(1-3)
You know your team is bad when Matt
Hasselback is your quarterback.
St. Louis Rams
(0-4)
is teams sucks so much that this is
all I will write about them.
Death Egg Zone