--- On Thu, 3/19/09, mark m < > wrote: From: mark m Subject: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: "Mike L Date:

Thursday, March 19, 2009, 5:20 PM Filet-O-Fish you are so dreamy, Your tartar sauce, oh yum, so creamy The cheese, so yellow like a cute rubber duck, Mikey doesn't like you but who gives a fuck? He's inflexible, unyielding I'd say even jerky, Why, Filet-O-Fish I love you much more than roast turkey! Let them hate you and mock you and say you're untasty, With you in my hands guaranteed there's no wasty. He'll come around eventually hell, maybe quite soon, As for me, I'll see you again around noon

--- On Thu, 3/19/09, mike l > wrote: From: mike l Subject: Re: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: "mark m Date: Thursday, March 19, 2009, 5:07 PM Good Lord. Ready? You like Filet-o-Fish? What an ass. No wonder things die when you choose to pass gas. Bottom-feeders would gag if offered this ' wich Only you would eat it (dumb son of a bitch) "There's one born every minute," as Barnum once said, He tasted that shit, that's why he's now dead. So eat up, my boy, eat up, and don't wait, did you know they once called that sandwich McBait?

--- On Fri, 3/20/09, mark m wrote: From: mark m Subject: Re: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: ml Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 1:15 PM McBait? An ass? That's just uncouth, coming from a guy who eats baba ganoosh. You sit there and snack on tabouli and hummus, You wonder why people call you "Mike the Big Dumbus"? So don't jump on me as I savor each chew. You know you want one you KNOW that you do! But I fear the real reason that you don't partake, Is Diane would cement you, take you down to the lake. You'd sink to the bottom and that's where you'd stay. Hell, you yourself may be a Filet-O-Fish someday!

--- On Sat, 3/21/09, mike l > wrote: From: mike l Subject: Re: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: "mark m > Date: Saturday, March 21, 2009, 5:50 PM Alright, already, enough, you win, I'll try that shit made from scales and fins, Have EMTs, ER docs, and nurses on call, when my intestines knot themselves in a ball and my colon decides to erupt from my gut, like that Alien movie (you know, the one with the slut), Then you'll be happy, oh, then you'll be gay, when my innards are like a jar of Oil-of-Olay. Just kindly grant my dying wish, go fuck yourself with a Filet-O-Fish!

--- On Tue, 3/24/09, mark m < > wrote: From: mark m > Subject: Re: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: ml Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 5:57 PM Go fuck yourself seems a tad bit rude. After all we just talkin' 'bout deeee-licious food. A food that give us all the tools that we need. Like clarity, joy, happiness, speed. But oh no, you'd rather focus on things best forgettin', like Barnum and Alien and your own damned intestine! So I'll be that creature and you can be Sam, just like in that kids' book named 'Green Eggs and Ham'. The Filet-O-Fish, you just need to try it even tho' I know it'll screw up your diet. Just taste, Jesus H.!, just try it just once! For one millisecond stop being a dunce. One bite..........one bite is all you'll require. 'Fore you realize "hey wait........ that Mark is no liar".

--- On Mon, 3/30/09, mike l > wrote: From: mike l Subject: Re: Ode to Filet-O-Fish To: "mark m > Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 1:57 PM Enough about you. What about me? I long for McProducts that no longer be, like McRibs, and McLeans, and McDLTs. The Arch Deluxe, joy of the past, that's right adults only, kids: don't even ask Tater roll, peppered bacon (for a small extra fee), "Don't think twice," I would say,(as I showed my ID). "Let the children eat Big Macs, Quarter Pounders and such",

as I scattered some french fries (though not very much), on my way to the place reserved, VIP, how dashing and handsome, smiling, carefree! What's happens today, I ask you, just try to order an Arch, why, they'll spit in your eye. "Ain't never heard of that shit, you old whore, get your stinky lame ass on out of the door. Arch Deluxe: what a sorry-ass son of a bitch, throw him a toy, how 'bout Lilo and Stitch?" So do what I do, just live in the past, McDonald's, like Camelot, could never last, McStuffins, McGrills, McGrilled Chicken Classics, the Salad Shaker Deluxe on my hassock, are gone now forever, can nevermore be, might as well wish for rainbows, or bluebirds on trees. Now as I finish my ode to what's through, (though I'm pissed every word has been wasted on you), one thought comforts me as I gum down my knish, at least I'm not eating a Filet-O-Fish.

--- On Tue, 4/7/09, mark m > wrote: From: mark m > Subject: You're Up..... To: "Mike L > Date: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 12:52 PM Oh, hell yeah, nostalgia's just dandy For toys and movies and TV and candy. But when you're talkin' 'bout meat, fish and cheese You're talkin' of McRibs?? McLeans?? Oh please!! They yanked all those products, and yanked 'em quite quick When millions of people got all deathly sick. With the shits and the coughs and the fevers and aches, little kids pukin' all over the place! And just so you know, I'm not lyin' 'bout this I pulled an old program from '76.

A medical conference sold out in a breath, The topic? You guessed it "McRibs Linked to Death". So pine for the old days, Go think of the pas'. While your friends (and enemies) just sit here and laugh. I won't waste my time no, I won't fight and debate. I won't curse or scream or fill up with hate. 'Cause we all know who's right big surprise.....it's again me. Somethin' the world's getting quite used to see. I'll treat my victory with the world's favorite dish, yeah, you guessed it..........Filet-O-Fish.

--- On Wed, 4/8/09, mike l > wrote: From: mike l > Subject: Re: You're Up..... To: "mark m > Date: Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 4:36 PM Happy now? I just ate your Filet-O-Fish, Greasy, ghastly, tres high caloric, I know this may sound mildly sophomoric, but like Judy Garland alone at the mike (you remember, she kind of looked like a dyke) I got kind of wistful, I got kind of misty looking back on how something can be at once most repugnant but also quite good, like seeing Miss Universe (dead) in the woods. Guilty pleasure? Not really. I'd say it's more like Pissing your pants on a cold winter's night... Feels good while it's happening, in fact it feels great but ten minutes later it feels like you ate a pound of bull testicles, raw, on a plate. So that's how I'm feeling, that's where I'm at: Another day older, ingesting more fat from a Filet-O-Fish (I'm spasming, cat!)

--- On Fri, 4/10/09, mark m> wrote: From: mark m > Subject: Re: You're Up..... To: "mike l > Date: Friday, April 10, 2009, 8:42 PM It's sad, it is really, oh dear friend of mine, To see such a spiraling, rapid decline. You used to be sharp, oh yeah, you were quick, Now looks like you got the shit end of the stick. The words once flowed easy, so fluid and nice, Insults rolled off the tongue much smoother than ice. But now I'm afraid it's painful to witness 'Though some folks would say 'taint none o' my bidness. Remember back when, when we played street hockey? I told you, "Hey Mike, don't get so damned cocky". But oh, did you listen? Oh no, not one bit, And now who's brain is turning to shit? Your body's quite slow and your senses are melting, Pretty soon those young thugs on your street will be pelting you will bananas and tomatoes and garbage and trash, They'll give you a wedgie that goes right up your ass.

They'll run away laughing as you stand in the night, And then it'll hit you "That Mark's again RIGHT!!"