living lives that glorify

Exemplify Magazine
November 2009
Thanksgiving Issue

Learning Your
Spouse’s Love
Language
New Blogs
at
Interview with Exemplify
Online
Julie Leman
Be
Author of the
Culturally Relevant
Daughters of Boston
series Without Compromise

Thankfully...
Single?

Thanksgiving
Day Super Foods
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

editor’s welcome
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship
God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."

Hebrews 12: 28-29, NIV

Features November 2009

New Blogs
Get acquainted with
Exxemplify Online’s
newest blogs. You’ll
find information on all
5 new channels
scattered throughout
this issue.
Pages 4,10, 14, 22, 26
Family Channel Feature Singles Columns How To Column Interview with Julie
Thankful in all things. Lori Kasbeer writes on Is it possible to be Lessman
Page 21 joy & thanksgiving in culturally relevant
the midst of sorrow. without compromise? Author of the Daughters
Page 19 Page 15 of Boston Series
Page 28
Thankfully Single?
Page 9

I can
He has taught me that in the face of adversity
and pain and brokenness and loss there is
something that stands.
We have an unshakable kingdom! We are heirs
to that which does not fail, falter or fade.
We are children of the Most High who not

remember... That remains.

That is beautiful still.

only is worthy of our worship but desires it!

Let this be a time of intentional worship for

the Thanksgiving I felt I had nothing to be
thankful for.
My Uncle Billy had just been buried after
being killed in the World Trade Center attacks
against the United States, my boyfriend was
undergoing chemotherapy for a tumor the size
of a rock and every possible morsel of
gratefulness I once had was gone.
Sitting in a cancer ward where children are
sicker than they ever should be will do that to
a person.
Burying a loved one will do that to a person.
Coming to terms with the fact that this place is
nothing more than temporary tissue paper
will do that to a person.
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom
that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and
so worship God acceptably with reverence
and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire”.
(Hebrews 12: 28-29)
I don’t know what you face this month. I don’t
know what losses you’ve been hit with , what
pains you carry.
Perhaps, this year, you find yourself faced
with a horrible diagnosis, as my family.
Or perhaps your husband lost his job.
Or your fiance called off the wedding.
Maybe this holiday, this time of Thanksgiving,
you find yourself unable to find anything to
us. Let this be a month where we, no matter
what we face, get on our knees in a posture of
worship before the King of Kings and thank
Him for who He is.
Not for the iPods we listen to or the cars we
drive but for His all encompassing love.
For what He gave so that we could have the
assurance that no matter what happens here,
amongst all this temporal stuff, we have an
eternal kingdom the stands forevermore.
Enjoy our magazine this month. It is
brimming with praise for the One who He is,
who was and who is to come.
Death could not hold Him. I promise you,
neither will whatever you are faced with.

The Lord has taught me so much since then.

be thankful for.

I want to encourage you to take a good look at

Kristen Schiffman
the very Father who calls you His child.

©Exemplify Magazine 2
In This Issue
contents
Read about our new blogs!

Ministry
Channel
 4
Singles
Channel 10
Marriage
Channel 14
Family
Channel 22
Devotional
Channel 26

Featured This Month:

Guilt
Trip 6
Joy
&
Thanksgiving
in
the
Midst
of
Suffering 19
Interview
with
Julie
Lessman 28
This
Is
How
He
Reminds
Me 31

Columns:
Grace
with
a
Side
of
Turkey
&
Dressing 7
The
Book
Nook 8
Thankfully
Single? 9
Need
an
Interpreter? 12
How
to
be
Culturally
Relevant
without
Compromise 15
The
Thanksgiving
Table 16
For
All
Things 21
Thanks
Given 23
Thanksgiving
Day
Super
Foods 27
Fiction:
Jochebed 32
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

Throughout this issue of Exemplify Magazine, you will find When I first felt the pull to step out into
ministry, I really had no clue where to
our new blog channel editors introducing themselves and the start. I had no idea the Lord had
equipped me with the gift of teaching or
the ministry of writing. I really assumed
blogs they head up. We’ve added Family, Marriage, Singles, I would end up leading music worship
somewhere, while coloring little lambs
Devotional & Ministry Blogs to our website this month. with children.
As we begin to roll out our new design and features, you will be
Because music ministry and children’s
getting to know our blog teams very well! ministry were the only two ministry
Take some time today to read up on each of the channels, scattered avenues I had ever really seen
throughout this issue and shop for the blog that best suits you. encouraging women.

I’ll be blogging at the new Editor’s Blog where The Kettle Club will As the Lord began to pull me out of my
be hosted as well as our new weekly meme. You can read the details comfort zone and open my eyes to the
about both of those at exemplifyonline.com/editor/ vast avenues of ministry for women, I
started to look for encouraging resources
I’m also heading up the Ministry Team and would love for you to get to help me better serve Him and the
to know our heart and purpose.... church.

I have to say, I didn’t find many.

That was 6 years ago.

Over this last year I found myself

desiring to encourage the women who
currently serve in ministry and those who
are just stepping out to join the song of
service for the kingdom of God.

It’s no easy feat working in ministry.

It is my hope this new channel of

Exemplify will help edify and inspire you
to use your gifting with excellence.

We have an awesome team of women

contributing to this new blog channel.
Christa, Shane, Melissa, Sandra and Lisa
are women who currently serve in one
type of ministry or another. Just editing
their articles, I’ve found myself learning
and growing!

I will also be contributing to this channel

from time to time, offering lessons I’ve
learned along the road of ministry.

I pray this channel of Exemplify will

minister to you as you minister to others
and that you find yourself stepping out
seeing to the work the Lord has entrusted
Visit the Ministry Blog Channel at to you.

exemplifyonline.com/ministry/
4 © Exemplify Magazine
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Want to win a pair of these gorgeous earrings?
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You can tweet us @exemplify!

Guilt Trip
Two days after moving into our
home located in a city and state
new to my family, we were
welcomed by vandals. Smashed
eggs, sour and raw, aligned the
front porch. A few glances around
the historic neighborhood
revealed that our house was the
only target. I asked a few
neighbors if they had ever
encountered a similar experience
in the quiet town, and they
assured me that the incident was
an oddity. For the rest of the day
a guilt gnawed at me as I
wondered what I had done in two
short days to make someone
dislike me enough to egg my
home.
The guilt I felt was irrational. I
had done nothing to cause the
insensitive actions of the
pranksters whose motives I’ll
probably never know. Yet still, I
assigned the blame to me.
Accepting the responsibility for
the undesirable consequences is a
trend of mine, a symptom of
people pleasing. In fact, if blame
was served to me on a plate, I
would grab a fork and gobble it
down as if it were a home baked
slice of pumpkin pie.
When my children misbehave, I
often wonder what parenting
mistakes of mine caused the
misconduct. If their behaviors do
not improve, or worsen, I then
accept that as proof positive that
6
E X E M P L I F
the woman they call mommy is a
giant flop.
If my husband feels overwhelmed
due to pressures at work, I tend to
think his life would be easier if
only I was a better wife.
If a friend who is having a bad
day doesn’t feel better after I try to
help by sending a card, I chastise
myself for making things worse.
Should someone suggest that I
had a hand in a troubling
situation, I will agree and
apologize before taking time to
think about the accusation.
I am the perfect scapegoat…I eat
up blame. I do it for several
reasons, all of which are
predominantly self-centered,
though some disguised as self-
sacrificing. Sometimes I do so
because I think that I have less
value than my accusers. There are
also times that I do so to feel as
though I have a semblance of
control. And, sometimes, I accept
responsibility for wrong doings
that are not my own because I
want to bring peace to a situation.
Although Jesus poured out
blessings upon the peacemakers,
meek, and merciful (among
others) in His Beatitude sermon
(Mathew 5: 1-12) the erroneous
assumption of self guilt is not
what the Lamb of God had in
mind. My blaming myself for
happenstance, misunderstandings,
and the misdoings of others does
Y M A G A Z I N
not point toward Christ. Instead,
it draws more attention to me. It
also lessens opportunities for
growth…personal growth and
growth of the other individuals
involved.
When I mess up, owning my
mistakes, repentance, and seeking
restoration and redemption are
pivotal. It is not ever permissible
to pin blame on others. When I
am falsely accused, by others or
myself, I must first seek the truth.
And then lovingly speak the truth.
If I soundlessly fill myself with
blame, I muffle the voice of God.
If I instead fill myself with
confidence in the Lord, the peace
that shakes all understanding, I
have chance to bring glory to to
where it belongs, the Almighty
God, The Way, The Truth and
The Life.
Ephesians 4:11-18 (New
International Version)
“It was he who gave some to be
apostles, some to be prophets,
some to be evangelists, and some
to be pastors and teachers, to
prepare God’s people for works of
service, so that the body of Christ
may be built up until we all reach
unity in the faith and in the
knowledge of the Son of God and
become mature, attaining to the
whole measure of the fullness of
Christ.
Then we will no longer be
infants, tossed back and forth by
the waves, and blown here and
E
there by every wind of teaching
and by the cunning and craftiness
of men in their deceitful
scheming. Instead, speaking the
truth in love, we will in all things
grow up into him who is the
Head, that is, Christ. From him
the whole body, joined and held
together by every supporting
ligament, grows and builds itself
up in love, as each part does its
work.”
____________________
Angela Nazworth is the wife of a college
professor and the mother of a delightfully
precocious five-year-old drama princess,
and a two-year-old son with aspirations
of mountain climbing.
Before exchanging her business suits for
yoga pants and and peanut butter stained
shirts, she worked full time in the public
relations industry managing programs,
editing publications, and writing copy
and articles for magazines, newsletters,
Web sites, brochures, educational
resources, and other publications.
Currently, Angela accepts freelance
writing, copy editing, and PR jobs and
write regularly at (in)Courage, Five
Minutes for Faith, and at her own blog,
Becoming Me.net
© Exemplify Magazine
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

Grace with a Side

of Turkey & Dressing

Every year for Thanksgiving my family travels her love for family in the form she is most I am always thankful that my Aunt hosts our
a couple hours to my Great Aunt’s house to gifted in sharing. She is a great cook, an family’s Thanksgiving dinner. What she does
partake in all the typical festivities. My Aunt incomparable hostess, and hopelessly devoted for her family is priceless and the memories
Nancy is a hostess with the mostest if ever to her family. My memories of my childhood will last a lifetime. I am infinitely more
there was one. She does everything: the Thanksgivings are completely filtered through thankful that I have been given a far more
turkey, the dressing, the awesome sweet these gifts my Aunt gives in the form of food, priceless gift in Jesus. I cannot repay God for
potato casserole with the brown sugar and Christmas trees and a huge family loving one such a grace. I cannot earn it or even deserve
pecan topping that I start drooling over another. it. But I can fully partake in it, like I do family
sometime mid-August. She makes pies and Thanksgiving. I can bask in the glory of a
cakes from scratch. She decorates her home I think we can approach the lavish gifts of love that will not let me go. I can enjoy the
with fall and Christmas décor (and I gotta say, God in the same way my mom approaches fellowship of a friend that sticks closer than a
it works!). When I was younger my cousins Thanksgiving at Aunt Nancy’s. It seems like brother. I can rest in the fresh mercies of a
and I would go throughout Nancy’s house too much to receive without giving anything new day. And I can tell my Savior over and
counting Christmas trees. The woman can fill in return. Abundant grace, extravagant love, over again how delighted and humbled and
a nook, let me tell you. I always loved her unending mercy, it all seems too much. This thankful I am that He chose me, saved me
Christmas tree with the old-fashioned bubble free gift of salvation is ours for the taking and and is preparing a place for me. And when I
lights. I could stare at that thing for hours. no amount of work to repay could ever earn get there, there isn’t a thing I can bring to
Obviously I am easily entertained. it. But we try. We impose rules upon that banquet table. Just myself and my
ourselves. We muster up a list of do’s and thankful heart. It’s going to rock even more
When we visit each year, we bring nothing don’ts that make us feel like we measure up, than Aunt Nancy’s house on Turkey day.
but ourselves and a hearty appetite. We sit or are worthy of what we’ve been given.
around visiting with family that we may not That would be the equivalent of bringing _____
have seen all year. We tell stories, some that KFC to my Aunt Nancy’s Thanksgiving. It
have been told and retold for thirty or forty just isn’t right. It falls painfully short of the
years, but they never get old. My cousins’ kids real thing. In fact, it would be kind of Kara is a single, thirtysomething
run around and there is always a football embarrassing to do such a ridiculous thing. follower of Christ who loves to
game on in the background. I have this one I’d probably be laughed right out of the laugh and makes others laugh in
cousin who, though raised in Oklahoma, has house. So why do we try to do the same with the process. She is devoted to all
always rooted for the Pittsburgh Steelers. God? Why do we try to earn salvation and things Autumn and thinks that
Always. And most of the rest of us are Dallas grace that is freely, immeasurably given? pumpkins, fallen leaves and fall tv
Cowboys fans so we give him a hard time. premieres are a highlight of life.
The only thing I find that is suitable in the She would also like you to know
Every year my mom asks my Aunt if we can face of such extravagance is a thankful heart. she is the most extroverted introvert
bring anything. Every year my Aunt No pressing knee-jerk reaction to earn grace, you will ever meet.
graciously declines. I think it makes my mom just gratefulness. Humility and acceptance.
feel guilty. I know it’s just my Aunt displaying

©Exemplify Magazine 7
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

With the summer over and the holiday season approaching, I’ve been focusing on the state of my home.
My husband and I desired to simplify things a bit and so had an embarrassingly large garage sale. With
the extra “stuff” out of the way I can give my home a good cleaning for the winter. Most of my
homemaking books survived the decluttering, and one of them is a great how-to guide for deep cleaning:
“Real Simple Cleaning: Your Room-by-Room Guide to a Beautiful House” was published in 2007 by
Real Simple Books.
section with the basic steps for getting the area “Real Simple Cleaning” contains a wealth of
clean. After that are listed the Next Steps useful information, like how long to keep
which can be done if you have extra time to various health and beauty products, how to
clean. Finally, there’s an Extra Credit section remove and re-do mildewed caulking around
with those little tasks that always seem to get the bathtub, how to remove lint from your
forgotten, like degreasing the stove hood or dryer hose, and how to understand the
disinfecting switch plates. If you’re really short cleaning codes on upholstered fabrics. The
on time, though, there’s always the 10 Minute book is also chock-full of interesting little tips,
Clean, which lists the bare minimum list for for example:
when unexpected company is on its way.

* To prevent rust from forming on a can of

For each room, the book then goes into more shaving cream, brush clear nail polish on the
detail about specifics like how to clean your metal ring around the bottom of the can.
kitchen counters (listing procedures for nine
different types of material) or your furniture
and upholstery (twelve different types). There * Keep a box of fabric softener sheets by the
are also instructions for cleaning that room’s computer to wipe down the screen. The
accessories, such as small kitchen appliances or
The opening letter from Real Simple sheets will leave a tiny film that wards off dust.
picture frames. Finally, there’s a section on
Magazine’s editor should be enough to get you how to keep that area clean. If that
motivated to clean. She says, “There is unexpected company is at your door instead of
something redemptive about cleaning: it * Ketchup can be used to shine copper, as
ten minutes away, each room’s section has a
promises a fresh start. When life is a mess, you sidebar on “cheat cleaning” to at least make the acetic acid dissolves the oxide tarnish.
can always clean, and your outlook (not to the area look good.
mention your house) will be improved.” If
that doesn’t make you want to get up and
scrub something, just flip through the book * To get rid of ants in the kitchen, leave out
and look at the photography. In the Real The next major sections in the book are a cup of honey mixed with a teaspoon of
Simple Universe, everything not only matches, “Common Surfaces” and “Stains.” You’ll boric acid.
but also is of the same palette of blues and learn exactly how to clean everything from
greens. Even the cleaning rags and rubber texturized ceilings (gently clean with an
gloves match. Sure, my house will never look extendable duster using long strokes), windows * To remove sticky decals stuck to window
like that, but the simple rooms and soothing (use a squeegee), bamboo curtains (a damp glass, cover the spot with mayonnaise then
colors are so peaceful that it makes me want to cloth with distilled water), and laminate floors scrape with an old credit card.
try. (a well-wrung mop with water and vinegar).
You’ll also learn how to get stains out of
everything from a wood butcher block to
ceramic tile, various kinds of fibers, and I suppose one downside to reading this book is
The book begins by showing you how to put that I can’t seem to help imagining that, if I
different types of wall coverings: thirty
together a cleaning kit. Each recommended follow these cleaning instructions, my house
materials in all.
tool is pictured and described with an will look just like the serene photos. Never
explanation of what it will be used for. The kit mind that I don’t think I own anything in
includes some natural items like vinegar and those calming blue-green shades and the fact
baking soda. In the back of the book is a reference guide that my family and I actually live in our house.
with a short list of resources and the niftiest Still, there’s something inspiring about looking
cleaning calendar I’ve ever seen. The at photos of clean, simple, beautiful homes. It
calendar (in soothing shades of blue and makes me want to get up and clean my own
We then jump right into the cleaning, green, of course) is styled after the periodic house, and “Real Simple Cleaning” is an
beginning with a section called “Room by table of elements and shows cleaning jobs that excellent guide for doing just that. It’s an
Room.” This is the largest section of the book should be completed weekly, monthly, every
and my favorite. It includes instructions for excellent reference for general cleaning
3-6 months, every 6-12 months, and annually. methods and also contains some interesting
the kitchen, bathroom, living & dining rooms,
bedrooms (including children’s rooms), home tips and tricks. It has certainly earned its place
office, and laundry room. They all follow the on my newly decluttered bookshelves.
same format. First comes the Cleaning 101 Written by Kate of Proverbs14.com

8
©Exemplify Magazine
 E X
!ankfully Single?
I adore autumn. The crisp air, the changing
leaves, the sweaters, the hot drinks. It is my
favorite time of year. It also has one of my
favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. I love that
there is a day set aside for being thankful…
and it is a reminder to be thankful more often!
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,
continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him,
strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and
overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7
(NIV)
In many things I am overflowing with
thankfulness. My family. My friends. Many
good things in my life. As I started to think
about my column for this month I knew what
I was to write about. It had been set in my
heart from the time I started this column and
I put it out of my mind until I absolutely had
to write this. Why? Because the idea of being
thankful for my singleness scares me. If I am
thankful for my singleness does that mean I
need to accept that I will never get married?
If I am thankful for my singleness does that
mean I am called to singleness? My heart was
in a quandary. I know I am suppose to be
thankful. I know I should be thankful.
As always life goes on even when your heart is
in a quandary. The more I struggled with this
idea the more my life around me began to
close in. Several friends announced their
pregnancies. Two friends became engaged.
One friend started dating a great guy. Two
©Exemplify Magazine
E M P L I F Y M A G
friends had beautiful weddings. My heart was
overwhelmed. I wanted to be part of a
couple, I wanted a ring, I wanted that
wedding, and I wanted a baby.
One of my favorite things about God is that
He knows our heart, intimately. When I
chose to read through Colossians in my quite
time He began speaking to my heart about
being thankful for my singleness.
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly
things.” Colossians 3:2 (NIV)
One of the first things He did was remind me
that my singleness was an earthly thing. I had
set my heart on an earthly thing and was
convinced without it I could not be happy. If
I set my heart and mind on earthly things I
will never be content. Even if I had the
husband and the baby it would not have been
enough. At some point over the last few
months I had taken my eyes off of Christ and
set them on the wants of my heart. Sadly it
also tainted how I reacted to my dear friends
wonderful moments.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
I asked God to help me be thankful for my
singleness. To help me be thankful for the
place He has me in my life. Everyday my
prayer is that He will change my heart and
that I will allow Him to fill my heart as only
A Z I N E
“...with thanksgiving, present
your requests to God.”
Philippians 4:6
He can. I was told by a wise lady in my life
that if I prayed with a heart of thankfulness
that would be a start. She also directed me to
Philippians 4:6. For a time I stopped praying
for that special someone and prayed
specifically for this season of life I am in.
Slowly my heart is changing. I am thankful
now for my singleness. One of the many
reasons is that during this time I can do things
married gals cannot do. I can devote more
time to my Jesus, my beloved. I can be an
encouragement to other single gals. There is
also the fact I can do what I enjoy without
having to worry about wondering if a
significant other would enjoy it. The list could
go on! Does this mean I have given up on
marriage? Not in the least. It is still a desire
of my heart. It is just not the main desire of
my heart right now. My desire right now is to
continue developing the intimacy I have with
Christ that has been getting deeper over the
last several months. My heart is still fickle at
times and I cannot help but think that I need
this process if I want to be a good wife and
mom one day. Being thankful is a daily choice
I am making. Some days are still going to be
hard but as I look back over this process my
heart delights in the learning and the love.
Christy is on a journey to becoming a
woman after God’s own heart. She delights
in books, photography, her family and her
friends. Christy has a heart for young women
and single women. She also loves emails!
thesinglejourney@gmail.com
9
 E X E M
Join our Singles Blog Team at Exemplify Online for fellow sojourners in the journey.
Christy, our Singles Blog Editor, invites you to come along....
There are moments in life that when you
think back on them or you are in the
midst of them you know they are from
our God. I call those moments God
moments. This new singles channel is a
God moment.
Each year I pray about a word for the
year. For 2009 that word has been
Journey. I could never have imagined
how amazing this year was going to be.
A larger portion of my journey this year
has been about my singleness. Several
months ago God laid upon my heart a
desire to write about being a single girl…
the struggles and the triumphs. In fact I
started thinking about a new blog
completely devoted to us single ladies.
God had a different plan and I could not
be more thrilled.
After much thought and prayer I emailed
the lovely Kristen and asked if she had
thought about adding a singles column to
the Exemplify Magazine. She had been
thinking about the idea too and asked me
to pray about writing it. I was so excited!
Of course I did pray about it but I already
knew it was a God moment. So with a
grateful heart I started writing the singles
column.
10
P L I F Y M A G A Z
After a few columns I knew that more
was still needed. God moment number
two was coming and before I knew it I
was in the middle of another exciting part
of His plan. When Kristen asked me to
be the editor of the singles channel I will
admit I was some what taken aback. I
had literally just started praying about
the next step in the ministry God was
stirring in my heart and He presented me
the very opportunity I was praying for.
Another chance to encourage single
women! Oh how He amazes me!
This singles channel has come from a
place with a lot of prayer and a desire to
encourage YOU.
I am delighted to introduce you to the
team of writers you will come to know
over the next several weeks here on the
singles channel. I have had such fun
getting to know Kara, Sonia, Isunji, and
Lynda and I know you are going to love
them as much as I do! Each of these
ladies are here because they know and
understand the joys and hurts of being
single. Our goal is to be your Barnabas.
Barnabas has long been one of my
favorite people in the Word. We first meet
Barnabas in Acts and as you read through
Acts you see how he journeys along with
Paul and later on Mark. I find it very
I N E
important that the apostles changed his
name. His name was Joseph but they
changed it to Barnabas, which means son
of encouragement. I find this very telling
of what kind of man he was to the
apostles.
Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the
apostles called Barnabas (which means
Son of Encouragement), sold a field he
owned and brought the money and put it
at the apostles’ feet. Acts 4:36-37
And that is why I find him so important
here. To have been given that name
means He was an encouragement to
them. He walked alongside them and
was there for them.
We want this to be a place you come to be
uplifted and also to feel understood. A
place of laughter and at times tears. Most
importantly we want this to be a place
where you can see Christ. It is my hope
and my prayer that you see Him each
time you come here.
So today we start our journey…together.
I cannot wait to see what God has in store
for us!
©Exemplify Magazine
Lk for our Christmas Celeation
in Decemr!
 E X E M P L I F
Need An
Interpreter?
“I thought you said you were going to wash the dishes? Why
is there still a dirty glass on the back of the sink?”
“No wonder the kids leave stuff all over the place; they
learned it from you.”
“Are you gonna take out the trash? It reeks!”
“Ya know, I would REALLY appreciate it if you would turn
off the TV and come help me take care of your children!”
“I already told you. Weren’t you listening? Oh, that’s right,
you never listen to me!”
“I asked you three weeks ago to take all this stuff to the
shed. When do you think you might get around to it?”
Have you ever had anything like this come out of your
mouth that was directed toward your spouse? Maybe you
haven’t necessarily voiced those words, but have those phrases
have done triathlons in your mind?
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Y M A G A Z I N E
“A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky
faucet; you can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.”
Proverbs 27:15 & 16, The Message
I was first introduced to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The
Five Love Languages, in a pre-marital counseling class while in
college. The book was great and all; lots of “neat” ideas. But, to
be honest, I only read it because I had to. It wasn’t really one of
those books I was dying to read or anything. I read it because,
well, it was a requirement. Little did I know, though, that in a
few years it would be a very useful resource to have at my
fingertips.
When my husband and I first met and started dating, there
were two things that stood out to me about him. First, he was a
talker. When we would go on dates, he would talk and talk and
talk and talk. To this very day, I don’t remember what he talked
about, I just remember he talked A LOT! He would often
shower me with compliments, telling me how beautiful I was or
how happy he was to have me in his life. While I was flattered,
sometimes it did get a little under my skin. There were several
times I wanted to say to him, “ENOUGH ALREADY…
honey!”
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I pray this helps you to find each other’s language of love
and learn how to speak it clearly so that you continue to
grow closer to each other.
The other thing that stood out to me about my soon-to-be-
husband was the fact that he was a loner and didn’t want to be with me
ALL the time. He was okay with only seeing me once or twice a week.
I, on the other hand, thought we should spend every waking hour
together, doing fun stuff and making lasting memories.
Often I would get very frustrated with him, and he with me,
because our ideas of what our relationship should look like weren’t the
same. He liked to tell me how special I was and how much he loved
me, I liked to go places together and do things exciting. It wasn’t until
several, and I mean SEVERAL fights later, that I remembered reading
the book, The Five Love Languages. I grabbed the book off the shelf
and began thumbing through it. I quickly realized that he and I were
speaking gibberish to one another. Let me explain to you what I
mean…
In his book, Dr. Chapman writes about the importance of
knowing how to speak your spouse’s “love language.” Similar to the
fact that there are many different dialects spoken in our world today,
Dr. Chapman, says that in the area of love, this language difference is
evident too. He says, “Your emotional love language and the language
of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter
how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands
only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.” (The
Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman, pg. 14-15)
Well, hallelujah, I thought to myself. Here’s our issue, we aren’t
speaking the same love language; we are expressing our love to each
other in the way WE desire to be loved, not in the way the other needs
to be loved. Once we discovered this, he realized I needed him to
spend quality time with me, and I realized he needed me to affirm him
with my words. I needed to lose the nagging and shower my man with
compliments and encouraging words.
After this, things got a whole lot better in our relationship. We
began feeling true love from each other because our needs were being
met.
Dr. Chapman says that there are basically five emotional love
languages spoken and understood by people. Today, I’d like to briefly
share those with you. If you find yourself feeling empty, unloved, and
unappreciated it may be that your spouse doesn’t know how to speak
your language. And, if you find your spouse appearing to feel empty,
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Y M A G A Z I N E
unloved, and unappreciated, it could be that you aren’t speaking his
language either. I pray this helps you to find each other’s language of
love and learn how to speak it clearly so that you continue to grow
closer to each other.
1. Words of Affirmation- words spoken or written that
affirm, encourage, and let your spouse know that you value them.
2. Quality Time- giving someone your undivided
attention.
3. Receiving Gifts- home-made gifts or purchased gifts
mean a great deal to the one who feels loved most when receiving
a gift.
4. Acts of Service- “doing” in order to make your spouse
feel loved.
5. Physical Touch- literally reaching out to touch your
spouse, be it through a gentle kiss, caress of the skin, or physical
intimacy.
At the Tower Of Babel, God confused the language of the people
causing the people to have to exert more effort in order to be able to
understand one another. Learning your spouse’s love language may
require effort on your part; it may even be a little uncomfortable to
begin with. But, I can assure you, once the two of you start speaking a
language that’s understandable, great things will happen in your
relationship.
Whatever your spouse’s language of love might be, go “speak” it
to him right now expressing to him how thankful you are for all he
does to provide for your family and how honored you are to be his
wife. I bet he’ll “speak” back!
_______
Jenifer makes her home in North Carolina with her
husband of ten years, three children, and English black
lab, Bella. On a typical day, if there is such a thing,
you will find her sipping a cup of coffee, home
schooling her children, and digging into the Word. A
former pit-dweller who has been saved by God's
amazing grace, Jenifer has a burning passion to share
with women of all ages His unconditional love, mercy,
grace, and forgiveness.
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Marsha, the Editor of Exemplify’s new Marriage Channel,

invites you to check out exemplifyonline.com/marriage/ ...
It’s every little girl’s dream, marry Prince Charming, go running off into the sunset together and living happily ever after.
You come home from your honeymoon and you discover that Prince Charming leaves a trail of dust everywhere he goes. His mother
always picked up after him and he just assumed you were his new maid service. You overlook it because, well, you’re in love.

A few months into the marriage you begin to get emails from your Mother-in-law with recipes in it. It turns out Prince Charming told his
mother you don’t cook as good as she does. So she helps you out with a few recipe he loves. It’s getting harder to hide your frustration and
this time you lash out at him and have your first fight.
The path to oneness is strewn with dirty dishes, hectic schedules, and bad advice. For some, one of the partners veers off the path and
infidelity threatens their oneness.
Every marriage has its ups and downs. That’s to be expected. But when we find ourselves fighting the same battles over and over, we
begin to build a wall around ourselves and became isolated from one another. Two people living under the same roof, but living totally
separate lives. Oneness is broken.
My name is Marsha Harwood, editor of Exemplify’s Marriage Channel. I’d like to welcome you to this new feature on Exemplify Online.
I’m thrilled to be a part of this talented, dedicated group of women. Three times a week we will bring you thoughts to inspire you in your
marriage, tips to improve every area of your marriage, and we’ll even laugh at ourselves on occasion.
I’ve been married for nearly 36 years to the same man. I say the same man, but to be honest, over the years Mike and I have changed and
grown by the grace of God. We are no longer that starry eyed, hormonally driven, 20 and 21 year old couple that thought they knew what
oneness meant… sex. Little did we realize that was only a small section of the path to oneness.
What is oneness actually about? Companionship. In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a
helper suitable for him.” (NASB) And in Genesis 2:24 He tells us to set up our own household and not run to mama and daddy for
everything. Ouch!
Mike and I have tripped and fallen on our path and we’ve enjoyed the warmth and tender moments along the sunny stretch. I’m looking
forward to sharing the good and the bad with you in hopes of shedding some light on your path and hopefully strengthening our
marriages.
A monthly feature on Exemplify’s Marriage Channel will be a question and answer time once a month. Please feel free to email me your
questions pertaining to marriage and I will do my best to answer or find someone who can. Besides the nearly 36 years of marriage, I’m
also a Biblical counselor. I do not claim to have all the answers, but I will do my best to point you to the One who does. I can be reached at
ExemplifyMarriageEditor@gmail.com. Our first Q & A will be posted on Monday, November 30. Please send in your questions by
Saturday, November 21.
Be blessed as you walk the Path to Oneness together with the one you love.

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How to Be Culturally Relevant
without Compromise
Culturally speaking, King Solomon had it
all. He had wealth, romance, comfort, wisdom,
leadership; power…the list is endless. As one
might say in modern lingo, “He had it goin’
on.” And what did cultural guru King
Solomon write in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11, “I
denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I
refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took
delight in all my work, and this was the reward
for my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my
hands had done and what I had toiled to
achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing
after the wind; nothing was gained under the
sun.” This verse is precisely why being
culturally aware without compromising
is so important. Nothing on earth satisfies
the way only God can.
Why do we care about being
culturally relevant?
If we are cognizant of how people attempt
to fill the need only God can fill, we’re better
equipped to offer the Truth of Christ.
Understanding and empathizing with others
requires us to build trust and walk across
bridges sometimes. We can’t expect someone to
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E M P L I F Y M A G
know Jesus if they’re at a completely different
place in life or if they’ve only ever been turned
off by religion. If we have any hope of
reaching them, we need to meet them where
they are and lovingly explain how Jesus wants
to be there too. Jesus instructed His disciples to
go and make disciples. In order to relate with
others we need to know about them, to know
what they care about, think about and that
includes what they purchase and watch on TV.
Once we know what’s hot and what’s not,
we’re wise not to buy into all the nitty gritties
of fashion and Hollywood trends.
Why don’t we want to compromise?
I can easily name five good reasons:
• “If you belonged to the world, it would love
you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the
world, but I have chosen you out of the
world.” (John 15:19)
• “I have given them your word and the
world has hated them, for they are not of the
A Z I N E
world any more than I am of the world. My
prayer is not that you take them out of the world
but that you protect them from the evil
one.” (John 17:14-15)
• “Religion that God our Father accepts as
pure and faultless is this…to keep oneself from
being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)
• “You adulterous people, don’t you know that
friendship with the world is hatred toward
God?” (James 4:4)
• “Do not love the world or anything in the
world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the
Father is not in him. For everything in the world
—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his
eyes and the boasting of what he has and does
—comes not from the Father but from the world.
The world and its desires pass away, but the
man who does the will of God lives forever.” (1
John 2:15-17)
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I qualify awareness and knowledge as cultural
relevance. We don’t have to be of the world.
Instead, we can be a wise, socially conscious
and non-partaking soul in the world, while
not being torn to shreds by its immorality.
Practical ways to be culturally relevant
without compromise:
• Know What’s Goin’ On
The best way to be alerted of the latest
happenings is by simply reading the
newspaper, watching news programs or
checking news sites online. When we are
abreast of cultural differences and the goings
on in the world, we’re more prepared to
interact with others knowledgeably. And
living, breathing and loving God is about
living in relationship with others.
• Gauge Your Temptation Meter
“I can’t even go to the grocery store checkout
lane without being bombarded with
suggestions for a more fulfilling life. A better
sex life. A better career. A more beautifully
decorated house. The magazines seem so
slick, their promises so enticing. And they do
bring temporary excitement. But every single
thing the world offers is temporary.” ~ Lysa
Terkeurst from Becoming More than a Good
Bible Study Girl
While watching the news, checking out the
latest fashion trends or entertaining the idea
of watching The Oscars or the VMA’s, know
your limits. Know what has the potential to
start playing on your mind. You know the,
“Wow, she’s way prettier than I am. I’ll never
look that good.” Or the, “Why didn’t God
bless me with a talent like that?” Danger
zone. Turn it off. Throw out the Victoria’s
Secret catalog. Out. It’s not worth knowing
who dissed who on the latest award show if
your mind is going to be messed with
comparisons and lies.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it
is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
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E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E
• Know the Trends, but don’t be honest with us help us to realize whether or
Slave to Them not we’re walking the fence or if one leg is
dangling too far into the world. Are we
swearing like a sailor, paying too much
attention to our wardrobe, watching TV all
I’ve never worn black nail polish, never had day long, so enthralled with online sites we
feathered bangs, never got my nose or belly don’t know how to interact in person
button pierced or my ears double pierced and anymore or has anything of the world
I’ve never had anyone lace a string through garnered our attention more than it should?
my eyebrows to lift anything on my face. I’ve Friends and those in our inner circle are the
never watched an episode of Sex in the City best people to hold us to Truth on this one.
or Desperate Housewives for that matter. I’m Meanwhile, if we are at a secure place of
not a trend follower. And I’m still alive and faith, this is the best time to REACH OUT.
my heart is still beating. Do I like some Meet people unlike yourself. Study different
secular things? Sure, and I’m not afraid to cultures. Get to know what makes people
read secular books, watch secular shows on different than you tick. Then interact and
occasion and listen to secular music, but I’ve love them. Love them.
never felt like I just had to [fill in the blank]. I
thank God for discipline, boundaries and
conviction.
“We cannot live only for
ourselves. A thousand fibers
• Be Familiar with What’s Hot and connect us with our fellow
What’s Not (lingo, top selling books, men.” ~ Herman Melville
popular TV shows, hit movies, who
kids are emulating…)
There are ways to live in this world while not
being of this world. It’s essential we learn to
This brings me to the next way to be communicate God’s love. One of the best
culturally relevant without compromise. I ways to communicate involves mirroring and
have a close friend who read The Da Vinci empathizing with others. How can you do
Code so she’d be better able to answer either of these things if you don’t know the
questions when her non-believing friends “other” well enough to be able to mirror or
peppered her with them. I respect her empathize? Know what’s goin’ on while
decision to take something many Christians accurately gauging your temptation meter
frowned upon and find a way to use it to (aka: conviction.) Know the trends and what’s
bridge the gap between belief and non-belief. hot and what’s not. Lastly, trust friends to
The more we know about what’s hot in the hold you accountable as you risk relationship
world the more we can hold that particular with those who are nothing like you. Just
thing up to the light of Christ and His Truth. think, in His perfection Jesus was nothing like
us and He came down to our place of living
to risk all.
“We live in an era when traditional beliefs _________
have been tossed aside and when popular
culture—television, movies, music—displays
terribly corrosive morality. Families are much
shakier than they used to be. You can no
longer assume—if you ever could—that solid
values will be passed on from one generation
to the next. Building families takes careful,
intentional work.” Tim Stafford, from Never
Mind the Joneses
Wendy Miller is a butcher (of words as she edits her
novels), a baker (of birthday cakes and treats for her
• Trust your Inner Circle while beloved family members and friends), and a
Discussing Trends and Reaching out candlestick maker (not quite, but she enjoys crafts of
to your Outer Circle all kinds). She appreciates the outdoors, writing and
laughing with loved ones. Wendy’s mission statement
is to a live a passionate life filled with compassion,
Accountability is a wonderful way of assuring grateful to be called daughter of the Most High God.
Visit Wendy at http://
we haven’t strayed too far from where we
thoughtsthatmove.blogspot.com/ or http://
want to be with Christ. Friends who are
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The Thanksgiving Table

I love Thanksgiving. It is at the top of my Favorite Holidays list, second only to Christmas. And maybe that’s why I love Thanksgiving
so – it feels like the gateway to the Christmas season. Of course, it could also be the succulent cranberry glazed turkey, green bean casserole, herb
pull-apart rolls, pumpkin pie, and peppermint fudge that steals my heart year after year. Maybe.

One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is having the opportunity to make the holiday special for my family and guests. Now, the
feast is important – nobody likes a dry bird or burnt rolls – but the presentation of said feast is most important. I figure, if you do happen to
have a dry turkey or lumpy gravy, then at least your guests will have something pretty to look at while trying to hide their food in the napkins.

I try to pull out all the stops when it comes to my Thanksgiving table and I decorate it differently every year. And because I’m so nice,
I’m going to share with you some of my favorite ideas.

Another theme I really liked was the

cornucopias. I purchased a large cornucopia
basket and filled it with leaves, acorns, pine
cones, and mini pumpkins and gourds. It was a
perfect representation of autumn and so
colorful. But my favorite thing about the table
that year were the mini cornucopias I made for
each place setting. I took sugar ice cream cones
and filled them with mixed nuts, bits of dried
fruit, and small candies for added color. My
guests thought I was so clever! I didn’t have the My absolute favorite Thanksgiving table setting has
heart to tell them I saw it in a magazine… to be the year I decorated with apples. The
Ssshhhh!
centerpiece was a huge trifle dish filled with
several varieties of apples, pine cones, and
One year, I had a scarecrow theme and sprigs of pine. It was so earthy, extremely
my kids loved it! I used a couple of plush elegant, and ridiculously inexpensive to put
scarecrows and mini bundles of hay as the together. I also used apples to display the place
centerpiece. For the place cards, I purchased cards. I made a small slit in each apple near the
several small scarecrows on stands and stem and slid the place card into the slit… so
attached the place cards to them as if the beautiful.
scarecrows were wearing them. I always use
place cards, especially if we’re having several
guests. I don’t know why, but place cards make
people feel special… maybe it’s the knowledge
that you planned a seat for them at your table.

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I’ve also learned two easy ways to make
napkin rings that coordinate with your table
decor. Using inexpensive beads and elastic
cording, you can make tiny stretch bracelets to
fit around your napkins. The possibilities are
endless with this one!
Another fun napkin ring (edible too) can
be made with a cookie and some wired ribbon.
When making your favorite sugar or
gingerbread cookies, make a few with a small
hole near the top. You can do this by piercing
the cookie with the end of a straw (preferably a
straw that has not already been chewed on by
a child) just before baking. This will make a
perfect hole for you to slide your ribbon
through. Then, tie your ribbon onto the
napkin with the cookie attached. You can even
pipe names onto the cookies and use as your
place cards.
Having said all of that, the most
important accessory you will find on our
Thanksgiving table are the Thanksgiving
cards. My husband designs and prints them
out every year to match my theme… but they
are always simple. And the purpose of these
cards is to prompt us to reflect on God’s
goodness and write down 5 things we are
thankful for that year. Sometimes we share
them… sometimes we don’t. But they are
always there and have become a tradition in
our home.

Well, I hope I’m leaving you with fresh

ideas for a fabulous Thanksgiving table. And I
pray your table will be overflowing with
thanksgiving to our gracious Lord who has
given us everything… and more.

“Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks,

unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name
is near thy wondrous works declare.” Psalms
75:1 KJV

Christy is lucky enough to be married to the perfect guy (for her). Together, they
are raising two children for the Lord. Christy thrives on turning trash into treasure,
loves thrift stores, and can often be found wondering the aisles of Home Depot with a
light bulb gleaming over her head.

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Joy & Thanksgiving
in the Midst of Sorrow
How do you expect me to be thankful
when life does not go as planned?
My Aunt ordered us to bed saying, “Get a
goodnight sleep, church will come early in the
morning.” After closing the bedroom door,
we sank into the cool bed sheets and within a
minute the whispering and laughter began.
I’m sure my Aunt heard the gales of laughter
from the other side of the bedroom door.
Now over 20 years later I don’t remember the
words we said, I only recall my cousin Gayle
and I laughing until both of us had tears
streaming down our face.
Despite being five years younger, Gayle, an
only child, loved me tagging along. By birth
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we were cousins, but we grew up experiencing
the best sisterhood had to offer: all of the fun,
none of the fights. As expected with a five
year age difference, our lives soon began to
travel in different directions. She entered
college, I entered high school. She graduated
with a degree in journalism and I began my
college career studying communication.
Despite living apart we remained close. Then
over 10 years ago I received a phone call
informing me Gayle was diagnosed with
Multiple Sclerosis. The diagnosis of multiple
sclerosis shook the whole family, but Gayle
and her parents held firmly to God. By this
time Gayle was blessed to have given birth to
two beautiful daughters. But life did not go as
planned. Where do you find joy in the midst
of sorrow?
Two months ago I flew into town to visit
family, and the same aunt who overheard
A Z I N E
whispering and gales of laughter said, “Lori
you need to come and say goodbye.” This
was an unexpected, heart-rending two hour
trip; and as I stepped into Gayle’s assisted
living bedroom I wondered if she would even
remember me. Immediately I saw what MS
had done to my cousin, but instantly our eyes
connected and we were two little girls under
the cool bed sheets giggling late into the
evening. Despite my heart breaking as the
minutes ticked by, we traveled down memory
lane. This time together was a blessing, but a
part of me wanted to scream, “God where is
the joy? How do you expect me to be thankful
when life does not go as planned?”
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They were released from a prison in which

they were bound—they felt like they were in a
God reminded me this present trouble is only dream that only lasted for a time—and their
for a time. “Those who sow in tears shall reap first reaction upon waking up is joy and
with shouts of joy!” (Psalms 126 ESV) When thanksgiving. The Israelites thanked God for
life is unfair, when circumstances do not go as their 70 years in captivity; they praised Him
planned, or when we sow endless tears, where for not giving them what they deserved and Lori Kasbeer has a house full of boys–three to
do we find this joy in painful circumstances? cried out for his mercy. be exact; however, if you add her husband, the
Gathering this Thanksgiving many of us cat and the dog, masculinity runs rampant.
sitting around our tables are asking where is Lori lives in Florida and recently celebrated
the joy during a year where the economy hit Life is marked by dark and difficult valleys, 16 years of marriage.
hard, individuals lost their jobs, and things did but there is joy in the darkness. When life does
not turn out as planned. In Psalms we read not go as planned, we can find Lori Kasbeer is a contributor for the newly
about an example where the Israelites found encouragement by reflecting on God’s past published book Pearl Girls: Encountering
joy and thanksgiving despite hardships. mercies and provisions, so we can look ahead Grit, Experiencing Grace along with authors
with confidence. We find thanksgiving with
such as Shaunti Feldhahn, Melody Carson,
the reassurance that God who helped us then
will not fail us now. God’s past faithfulness Debbie Macomber, Robin Jones Gunn and
The Israelites were led into the promise land
assures us that He will meet our future needs, others. Peal Girls devotional style book
by God. They were God’s chosen people.
even when life does not go according to plan. remind woman they are not alone and that no
They had visions of life being wonderful,
especially after their ancestors recalled the circumstance is beyond the grace of God.
story of wandering 40 years in the wilderness.
If the economy hit hard, or you lost your job With a passion for reading you can find her
and life traveled an unknown road, there is joy Christian book reviews on Lori’s Book
and thanksgiving in God’s mercy and Reviews.
In 605 BC Babylon was the dominate power
faithfulness.
and Nebuchadnezzar had Israel under his
Lori is also a devotional writer for the Laced
control. Nebuchadnezzar brought the Israeli
captives to live in Babylon, away from their With Grace and during her spare time you
promised home land. Life did not go according to plan for my can find her blogging at “http://
cousin Gayle and her multiple sclerosis did lorisreflections.com”Lori’s Reflections.
not take God by surprise, but in the midst of
sorrow and pain there is great joy and
Where is joy? Where is thanksgiving? Where
thanksgiving.
is God? Life was not going according to plan,
people were dying outside of their promised
land, and many tears were shed. How do you
think the Israelites felt after spending 70 years For I am sure that neither death nor life,
in captivity? nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor
things to come, nor powers, nor height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be
able to separate us from the love of God in
Psalms 126 describes their reaction:
Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)

When the Lord restored the fortunes of

These present troubles are only for a time—it
Zion,
will feel like a dream—and “many are the
we were like those who dream.
afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
delivers him out of them all (Psalms 34:19).”
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us; Despite our present day circumstances and
we are glad. sorrows, may we rejoice with shouts of joy
and thanksgiving this November for God is
4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, faithful!
like streams in the Negeb!
5 Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
6 He who goes out weeping, The LORD your God is with you, he is
bearing the seed for sowing, mighty to save. He will take great delight in
shall come home with shouts of joy, you, he will quiet you with his love, he will
bringing his sheaves with him. rejoice over you with singing.”
~ Zephaniah 3:17

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 E X E M
Last Thanksgiving, our oldest daughter,
Emma, offered us the most beautiful gift I
have ever received.
When I woke up that morning I found on my
pillow a sweet little note telling me all the
things about me that Emma was thankful for.
She had made similar ones for her dad and
siblings as well.
It was at that moment that I realized she “got
it”.
As parents, how often do we find ourselves
repeating the same words or directives to our
children? Day after day, it feels like we might
as well just record ourselves once and get it
over with! And if that weren’t bad enough, it
doesn’t always appear that our constant
reminders are actually sinking in.
A recurring theme in my lectures loving
conversations with my children is to have an
attitude of thanksgiving. I don’t know about
you, but this sense of entitlement our culture
has developed is getting a little old. I’m tired
of being told that someone “deserves” to have
such-and-such. Just because. And if they get
it, it inevitably ends up not being good enough
within a few months, because something
©Exemplify Magazine
P L I F Y M A G
For All
Things
bigger, better, and with a touch screen has
come out since.
Ladies, we are a blessed society. We are
blessed to have access to clean water, an
abundance of healthy food, and more than
enough shelter. We have enough clothes in our
closets to get us through the cold winters and
hot summers. Maybe we don’t have as much
as that gal over there, but we sure have a lot
more than people in most countries. We even
have enough left over that we can share with
those around us in need. We have no reason
to not be thankful.
And yet, how often do we complain that we
don’t have enough? That what we do have
isn’t good enough?
Our children listen to the things we say, they
watch the things they do, and they form their
own attitudes and actions accordingly.
This became so clear to me not too long ago. I we truly are to have all of the things we need.
had been complaining about how we always
seemed to be lacking, that our house wasn’t
big and glamorous enough, and that all of my spirit of thanksgiving.
friends were able to go on big trips while I was
stuck at home with only a visit to my in-laws
A Z I N E
to count as a vacation. My pity party was in
full swing.
Guess who decided to show up and join me?
Suddenly I heard my Emma complaining that
her clothes weren’t good enough, that we
needed a new house so she could have her
own room. Oh, and all her friends had (insert
toy here), why couldn’t she? And when were
we going to go on a “real” vacation anyway?
“You can be sure that God
will take care of everything you
need, his generosity exceeding
even yours in the glory that
pours from Jesus.” (Philippians
4:19, MSG)
When I realized what was happening, I sat
her down. I talked to her about just how lucky
And I reminded her that God was the Giver
of all of those things; we needed to have a
Then God sat ME down and talked to me
about how lucky I truly am to have all of
21
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

things I need, and reminded me that He was that chew our slippers and chase our feet, but
the Giver of all. And I needed to cultivate a love us unconditionally.
spirit of thanksgiving in my own heart if I
expected my children to develop one in theirs. For all things.

Since then, I have tried to be more careful

with my own words. I have tried to display a
thankful attitude for everything, even when I
don’t feel like it. I remembered when my kids
were all little and how we used to giggle when
they would pray, thanking God for the littlest
things like their chins, or their eyelashes. My
son Ethan had the best prayer of all when he
was two – he would pray “Thank you, God,
for Mommy and Daddy and Emma and
Hannah and Mommy and Daddy and Emma
and Hannah and Mommy!!” I try to practice
what they have taught me and give thanks to
Him daily for all those little things.
Additionally, I have chatted with our children
about their own attitudes, and how we need to
give thanks for all things. Even for little
brothers who pester, and big sisters who boss,
but who are always there for us. For shared
rooms that lead to shared secrets. For Daddies
that work and Mommies that cook, even when
we think take-out would be better. For puppies
“Everything God created is
good, and to be received with
thanks. Nothing is to be sneered at
and thrown out. God’s Word and
our prayers make every item in
creation holy.” (1 Timothy 4:4-5,
MSG)
_____________________________________
Andrea is a coffee drinking, Jesus-loving wife
and stay-at-home mom of three in constant
search of just the right mug for her brew. She
pretends to scrapbook, loves to knit, and avoids
housework whenever possible. You can find her
at her blog, Under GraceOverCoffee.com,
where she shares the love she has found in Jesus,
along with the caffeine-laden randomness that
makes up the majority of her day. Grab your
cup and come on over!

Andrea invites you to check out Exemplify’s Family Blog!

Family means everything to me.

Growing up, it was the deepest desire of my heart to get married and have children. There was nothing I looked forward to more than being a
mom. I even remember making my French teacher in grade 12 mad when he asked me my plans for the future, because I
told him all I really wanted to do was be a stay-at-home-mom.

God called me to be at home even at that young age. And while I do work casually, the majority of my time is spent in my
home, making it a place for my family to be welcomed and loved in.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have areas that need improvement! I am definitely a work in progress. But it gives me joy to be
able to serve God by serving my family.

I am so excited to introduce you to the Family Channel at Exemplify Online. Our purpose is to encourage you in your own
family adventure, whether you are single, newly married, waiting to have kids, raising kids, or hoping they come home for
the holidays. We hope to inspire you as you seek to make your home centered on Him.

Each of the ladies writing for the Family Channel come with their own, unique families. Whether you struggle with fertility, are in the process of
adoption, believe differently than your extended family, or are simply seeking ways to nurture your children spiritually, I think you will find
something just for you here each week.

You can expect edifying devotionals, stories that share our personal experiences with Motherhood, not to mention articles featuring recipes, crafts
and homemaking tips to make life just a little easier during those chaotic moments.

You know, the days when someone gets sick, the dog decides to eat your slippers, you set the oven on fire, and your husband calls to say he’s
bringing home someone for dinner.

Not that that ever happens to me. I’m just saying.

We hope you stop by often – the coffee is always on! exemplifyonline.com/family/

22
©Exemplify Magazine

Thanks Given
Sister, I am so grateful to share
this time with you in fellowship.
The Lord teaches me so much as
He brings these studies together.
Having you with me all the while
keeps me digging deeper, and I
am so thankful for that gift of
accountability. Before we dive
into the riches of Scripture, it is
vital to seek the supernatural
wisdom that God will pour over
our time in His Word.
Let’s take this time to come into
the Presence of our Lord and
receive that blessing right now.
We’ll place our needs before Him,
hearts opened wide, and then
we’ll spend some time together on
the pages of sweet Scripture.
©Exemplify Magazine
E X E M P L I F
I enjoy few things more than a
crisp Autumn day bathed in
shades of amber, flickers of
orange dancing about, the
subdued hues of yellow somehow
Let’s delve into redefining our understanding of thanksgiving.
Literally.
managing to rival the vibrant reds
that pop amid the clear blue sky.
The tricks, treats, and the
Thanksgiving holiday, well…
they’re just gravy, giblet gravy.
We’re all sisters here, so I feel safe
in admitting my audacity to
Y M A G A Z I N
presume that writing on
thanksgiving would be easy as
{pumpkin} pie. As the deadline
approaches, our Father is slicing
me a big fat chunk of humble
pie…turns out there’s more to
this thanksgiving thing than meets
this simple girl’s eye.
Now that I’ve cast my imperfect
approach onto you and confessed
my self-reliant tendencies, let’s
delve into redefining our
E
understanding of thanksgiving.
Literally.
Nothing reveals the meaning of
Scripture like stepping into the
vernacular of the day and place
in which it was written.
Considering the writer, seeking
the Author, and looking into
subtle differences in context will
give us a deeper understanding of
God’s desires for us. Depending
on who you are…when and
where you are…and even whom
you are addressing, a word can
take on any number of meanings.
Even a word we think we have all
figured out, like thanksgiving.
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 E X E M
The Greek term, “eucharistia”, translates
singularly and succinctly to the meaning we
are most familiar with; “to give thanks”.
Interchangeable with gratitude, it covers the
scope of our ordinary definition. Ladies, we
serve a God that just so happens to specialize
in the extraordinary–down to every last detail!
His word selection was as intentional and
purpose driven as His very nature. In the Old
Testament, God had more to say about
gratitude than any one word could hold, so
He used three Hebrew words to paint us the
perfect picture of thanksgiving:
“Huyĕdah” was used to depict praise, often in
the form of song; it also referred to the choir
singing those songs of praise and worship.
Here is where things get richer. In the next
definition, two additional aspects beg our
attention…I know they sure commanded
mine. Before we discuss these meanings, I
want you to rattle off as many synonyms for
thanksgiving as you can. Jot them down if
you like, I’ll wait…
Okay, all set? Synonyms abound, but the
beauty of God’s Word simply astounds.
The Hebrew word, “towdah”, adds dimension lives that glorify our Father, that’s our thank
to our definition by revealing two facets to the offering. We must live out our appreciation, as The New International Version of Joshua
concept that probably didn’t land on your list well as shout it out in praise. Bringing an
of synonyms. I may or may not have left off
some obvious ones, so, um…yeah, if you leave Chronicles, is not something we’re
with new information today, you are not
alone!
In 2 Chronicles 29:31, we join the people of
Judah during the restoration of the Temple
and the revival of their fellowship with the
God of Israel. Having rededicated themselves Consider what says “thank you” to
as holy and set apart for use by the Lord, they
are ready for worship.
“Then Hezekiah said, ‘You have now
consecrated yourselves to the Lord, come
near, bring sacrifices and thank offerings to
the house of the Lord.’ The assembly
brought sacrifices and thank offerings; and all hardship?
who were of a willing heart brought burnt
offerings” (NRSV).
In this context, the word “towdah” refers to
the thank offerings presented to God.
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P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E
translations of this verse really demonstrate
the value of digging deeper. By exploring a
2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that, “all scripture is few variations, we more fully develop our
inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for understanding of God’s precepts.
reproof, for correction, and for training in
righteousness”. When we dig deeper, holding
fast to God’s Supernatural coat tails all the
while, He does not cease in fulfilling that To illustrate the way familiar wording can
promise. relax us into skimming right over something
profound, we need a little back story and
Joshua 7:1 paints the scene, “But the Israelites
broke faith in regard to the devoted things:
Let’s read 2 Chronicles 29:31 again, Achan son of Carmi son of Zabdi son of
and see what underlying lessons lie Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of the
within its God-breathed text. I count it devoted things; and the anger of the Lord
a blessing to be excavating Scripture burned against the Israelites” (NRSV).
alongside you today, sister! Your
efforts in study are a delight to the
Lord! Matthew Henry’s commentary explains that,
“devoted things were most holy to the Lord,
The distinction of burnt offerings being from and could neither be taken back nor applied
those with willing hearts draws our attention to other purposes.” The Hebrew term for
to the implication that the entire congregation these items, “cherem”, is also translated as
participated in these thank offerings. This “accursed things”, aptly depicting that using
passage demonstrates how our gratitude to the these items outside of their holy context was
Lord is more than an optional token of never to happen.
appreciation. When directed toward our
King, a declaration of thanksgiving doesn’t
come close to fitting the bill of our debt.
We’ve no way, outside of accepting Christ’s God revealed Achan’s sin, “then Joshua said
gift, to repay that debt. Having received that to Achan, ‘My son, give glory to the Lord, the
gift of mercy and salvation, we offer our God of Israel, and give him the praise. Tell
thanks in return. We need more than an me what you have done; do not hide it from
audible song of praise; our hearts must sing me.’”
the praises of God’s amazing grace. Living
7:19 shows that Achan is urged to give God
offering of thanksgiving, like that in 2 praise after having sinned. Other translations,
such as the New Revised Standard Version,
individually called to; it is something we are give further insight into how we are to glorify
bound to, as the blood-bought saints of the the Lord through the revealing of our sin.
Living God. Most of the wording remains the same; only
the application of the word towdah is
expounded upon.
What might a life of gratitude look like
for you?
“Then Joshua said to Achan, ‘My son, give
glory to the Lord God of Israel and make
you. confession to him…”
Are there any adjustments in attitude
you need to make in order to live in
thanks? When we sin, we deny our Heavenly Father
the full glory of His name. By going up
How would this application of against God’s commands, we are proclaiming
thanksgiving change your handling of His ineffectiveness instead of His might. We
devalue His Sovereignty with each step out
from under His authority. Diminishing God’s
greatness is like saying, “thanks, but no
thanks” to each good and perfect gift from
The other unexpected form of thanksgiving above. Confession restores the glory stripped
expressed using the word “towdah” can be away by our sin.
found twice in Scripture. We find a vivid
example in Joshua 7:19. The differing
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 E X E M P L I F
Confession is thanksgiving.
What sin has God urged you to confess in thanksgiving?
Have you restored that stolen glory to your Father? Is He
calling you out today?
Know that you are not alone in your struggles
and that no sin is unique to you, dear sister.
Bring your thank offering before the Lord; He’s
waiting around to be gracious to you.
As we seek to understand the last of God’s
chosen words regarding gratefulness, we find
further evidence of our having been made in
His likeness. A girl needs to know that no one is quite like her, and she
needs to know that there is no One like her God.
God requires an irreplaceable place in our hearts, homes, carpools,
cubicles…in all aspects of life, He commands and demands center
stage. In Isaiah 48:11, the Lord tells us that He will not give away His
glory. I can relate to that, and I have no glory outside of my being His.
Having another person rival my worth in ways I hold dear is enough to
send me head first into a heap of brownies. It’s easy to see why God
tells us to cast aside His competition.
Found in the Hebrew term, “yadah”, casting out, casting down, and
shooting at would-be glory thieves is a vital part of giving thanks. The
common ideas about thanksgiving and our new-found directive of
confession are included in its meaning. The added element that
completes the portrait of praise is denying all else a shot at God’s place
in our lives, His domain over our time, or the glory that is His alone.
“Take up your positions around Babylon, all you that bend the bow;
shoot at her, spare no arrows, for she has sinned against the
Lord” (Jeremiah 50:14, NRSV).
Defend the honor of the King, acknowledging His complete and just
reign.
Thank Him for delivering you from such evils as the wiles of
worldliness.
“While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and throwing
himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men,
women, and children gathered to him out of Israel; the people also
wept bitterly” (Ezra 10:1, NRSV).
Cast yourself down, humble and hopeful, before the Lord.
Thank Him for exalting you through the perfecting blood of Christ.
©Exemplify Magazine
Y M A G A Z I N E
Professing God’s goodness, singing the praises of our King, confessing
our sins and His power, and casting aside anything and anyone that
competes for the glory He is due—that is one Divinely complete
picture of how we are to show our unwavering appreciation for the
Lord’s unending provision, unlimited forgiveness, and undeniably
intimate dedication to our well-being.
By casting ourselves down at His feet, we shout out in thanksgiving.
When we cast out the idols that keep us idle, we offer praise by placing
God first.
Shooting at the self-serving mentality of Babylon is confessing our need
for the Savior.
Allowing our gratefulness to seep into every facet of our lives is our
thank offering, and it is a happy thanks, given to a faithfully deserving
Lord. Praise God!
I’ll start us off in taking these lessons before the Lord and offering Him
our thanks;
continue with your conversation of confession and praise.
Linger in your prayer time ladies; God delights in you!
Father,
You are worthy of all praise. In hardship, I will seek to
glorify Your name. In health, I will tell of Your majesty and
might. In the moments I might crumble, I will shout of Your
faithfulness to pick up the pieces. In my lacking, I will more
fully appreciate Your completeness…
Victoria began writing from Scripture out of the
sheer inability to keep a good thing to herself--
the exception being brownies, those she refuses
to share. Soon after delving into her first Bible
study, it became clear that God was building a
ministry through this new-found love for His
Word. Whether she is homeschooling,
housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap,
God continues to grow Victoria through the
ministry He set in motion...and she continues to
hog all the brownies.
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As I sat, legs folded beneath my barely used
Bible, the tattered bits of my life strewn about
all around me, alone in my humiliation and
pain, God took the reigns.
Looking back, I see that moment was the first
time I had truly sought the Lord since
childhood. Sure, there had been the occasion
bouts of seeking through prayer and even my
first attempt at Scriptural study, which I
promptly quit after one session. I was in
church each week, and in a weekly group for
mothers at my church as well for several years
before having my daughter. The start of
school for my oldest, having a newborn, and
living half an hour from the church after
having been only minutes away had proved to
easily defeat my devotion. That’s not
devotion at all; that just further illustrates my
point. I was miles from devoted. I still am.
In anger, I had shouted at the Lord to tell me
where He had been while I was being
destroyed over the course of a decade. In His
infinite wisdom, the Lord led me to His Word
for the answers. With no direction and no real
knowledge of how to read the Bible, I sat
staring at the cover for a long moment. Once I
got up the nerve, I flipped the book open and
saw the faithfulness of the Lord for the first
time in my life. I can say with zero doubt that
exemplifyonline.com/devotional/
26
E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E
Victoria invites you to check
out Exemplify’s new
Devotional Channel!
He was faithful long before I noticed; this was our hope rests, so that the power He sent to us
simply the opening of my eyes. won’t be silenced by the noise of the world.
My first time in devotion held the same sense Sharing reflections of my devotional time with
of wonder, relief, hope, and love that greets us each of you is a blessing of accountability in
in every devotional moment we bring before my walk with the Lord. I’m sure that my “co-
the King. In contrast to the painful world of workers in Christ” feel much the same.
deceit and suffering I found myself Chrystie, Kelli, Lynda, Patty, Tracy, and
imprisoned by, God showered me with Wendy are just as thrilled as I am to have you
affection, honesty, integrity, and all of it join us here on the Devotional Channel as we
eternal! seek to tune in to what God has in store for us
each day!
The Rock of Ages was replacing the shaking
ground beneath me more and more each time It is our prayer that you will come hungry,
I devoted myself to time with Him.
and never feel satisfied by our words alone.
How did turning to the Lord out of anger
result in devotion? Simple. Our Father is
faithful! He enjoys our company, but there’s “Instead you thrill to God’s Word,
more to it than fellowship. Through devoting
our minds, hearts, and bodies to God we can
better allow the Holy Spirit to work in, on,
you chew on Scripture day and night”
and through us. Ephesians 3:20, tells us that it
is “by the power at work within us” that God (Psalm 1:2, The Message)
“is able to accomplish abundantly far more
than all we can ask or imagine” (NRSV). If we
aren’t intentional about it, that power (the
Holy Spirit) is stifled by the sin-nature that
surrounds it. So we devote ourselves to
keeping our eyes fixated on Christ, in whom
©Exemplify Magazine
 E X E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E

Thanksgiving
Day Super
Foods
By Shannon

“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is
now that God favors what you do.”

Ecclesiastes 9:7

Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends
to come together and share in each other’s
company while thanking God for all of His
blessings. And, this is usually done with
copious amounts of delicious food. You might
even feel a little guilty for abandoning your
good eating habits to indulge on Thanksgiving
Day. But a closer look at some of these
naughty foods reveals them to be not only
innocent, but just plain good for you!
Green Beans
Commonly found in
households disguised
in a concoction
cleverly called
“green bean
casserole,” these
vegetables are
packed with fiber and nutrients! They are low
in fat and are a great source of protein, folic
acid, antioxidants, and vitamin B6. These
nutrients make green beans a good food for
promoting heart health.
which makes them an ideal treat for diabetics
(minus the marshmallows and sugar!).
Cranberries
Whether you
make your own
family
cranberry
sauce, buy it in
a can, or use
them in a salad, cranberries are an excellent
way to incorporate a super healthy fruit into
your feast. Cranberries are chalk full of
antioxidants, and they are known to prevent
urinary tract infections. They can also reduce
LDL cholesterol levels (the bad ones), and
raise HDL cholesterol levels (the good ones).
Turkey
Pumpkin
It is my personal
opinion that no
Thanksgiving is
complete with
pumpkin pie. Luckily,
pumpkin is also rich
in nutrients, so I can eat as much pumpkin pie
as I want (right??)! Pumpkin contains beta-
carotene, potassium, and zinc, which boosts
your immune system. It also contains a
substantial amount of fiber. Pumpkin is
believed to ease pain associated with arthritis.
See? Thanksgiving Day indulgences are not so
costly after all. So this year, as you gather to
fellowship with loved ones, add these super
foods to the list of things you are thankful for!

The main attraction of the dinner table is, no

Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes, one of my
personal Thanksgiving
favorites, are sometimes
found under a layer of
marshmallows, or maybe
under a layer of brown sugar and pecans.
Either way, this sweet dish is rich in vitamins
A and C, as well as fiber. Sweet potatoes have
been found to stabilize blood sugar levels,
doubt, the turkey! Turkey is an excellent Sources:
source of protein and two B vitamins. It also
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Pumpkin
contains the mineral selenium, which is
essential for http://hubpages.com/hub/
metabolism. Health_Benefits_of_Sweet_Potato
Selenium is also
http://www.everynutrient.com/
suggested to
healthbenefitsofgreenbeans.html
decrease the risk of
cancer. http://www.naturalnews.com/021168.html
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?
tname=foodspice&dbid=125

©Exemplify Magazine
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 E X E M P L
Interview with
Inspired to Write
Julie Lessman’s books in the
Daughters of Boston series may be
fiction, but, as with any good novelist,
an element of truth rings forth: God is
the true author of our love stories.
“I feel inspired to write whenever I
think of God, period,” Julie said. “I
am in such awe of what He has done
in my life that it is my deepest desire
to convey that through my books—
the reality of just how natural and
fulfilling an intimate relationship with
God can and SHOULD be. Like
breathing. My books may be fiction,
but this is not a fairy tale here. It is
possible to have a living, breathing
relationship with the God of the
universe.
“He’s crazy about us, and if most
people really understood that, their
lives would turn on a dime and
28
I F Y M A G A Z I N E
JulieLessman:
blessings would overtake them. Believe siblings: Katie, Sean and Steven,” Julie
me, I know this firsthand—I used to said.
be a hard, cynical, coarse human
being before God pulled me up by the A Passion Most Pure deals with Faith
scruff of the neck and said, ‘Yo, Julie!O’Connor, who is in love with Collin
Get a clue. You’re the apple of my McGuire, an Irish rogue who is
eye!’ He’s been the love of my life evercourting her younger sister, Charity.
since.” When Collin’s attentions turn to Faith,
a war begins to rage in the O’Connor
From this inspiration has come three household. Book 2, A Passion
published books: A Passion Most Pure, Redeemed, is Charity’s story. Charity
A Passion Redeemed and A Passion is obsessed with her beauty and sets
Denied, all three part of the her sights on a man who will have
Daughters of Boston series, and more nothing to do with her. This story is
books on the O’Connor family are to filled with passion, redemption,
follow starting September 2010. betrayal, desire, and forgiveness.
Finishing up the trilogy, A Passion
“There are six O’Connor children in Denied focuses on Elizabeth, Faith
all – four daughters and two sons – and Charity’s younger sister, whose
and each one will have their own romance with John Brady makes an
story. The Daughters of Boston trilogy unexpected turn when she discovers
focuses on the first three daughters hidden aspects about his past.
while the second three-book series
highlights the stories of the remaining
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 E X E M
“Book 1 of the next series is Katie’s story,
which was a lot of fun to write because she is
a pistol who comes of age in the Roaring
Twenties, right before the Great Depression,”
Julie said. “Books 2 and 3 will be about the
O’Connor brothers, Sean — and Emma,
Charity’s scarred friend from (A Passion
Redeemed), and then Steven, all during the
exciting era of speakeasies, dance marathons,
gangsters, G-men and era criminals like
Bonnie and Clyde and John Dillenger. Steven
will be a tall, brooding G-man-type modeled
after Elliot Ness, a la Robert Stack from the
Untouchables. I’m very excited because all
three plots are very involved, include detailed
sub-stories for some of the other character
couples and enough plot surprises that I hope
and pray will blow readers away!”
Julie’s own romance with husband, Keith, is a
love story within itself.
“I met Keith when I was almost 28 years old
and thinking it would never happen for me,”
Julie said. “I was the last of the 13 kids to get
married and had been a Christian for five
years, applying God’s precepts on morality
even though it was very difficult in the free-
love era of the 70s. But, boy, did my
commitment to God pay off big time. Keith
and I were married the next year, and with
God smack dab in the middle of our
marriage, I can honestly say that it just gets
better and better every year.”
Julie and Keith have now been married 31
years and have a 25-year-old son and
daughter-in-law and a 21-year-old daughter
who Julie actually used as a critique during
her writing of A Passion Most Pure.
“(She) hates to read. And, yes, it’s true –I paid
her $20 just to read the first chapter of A
Passion Most Pure,” Julie said. “I’m happy to
say it hooked her, and the rest of the book and
the other two didn’t cost me a dime!”
Julie first began writing at age 12 after reading
Gone with the Wind, which inspired her to
write her own romance novels.
“Gone with the Wind swept me away into the attended the 2005 American Christian Fiction
world of romance for the very first time. It
captured me like no other book had done, and poor slob who waved her hands wildly in the
I immediately set out to write — along with
©Exemplify Magazine
P L I F Y M A G A Z
thousands of other love-struck young girls, I’m
sure — what I hoped would be ‘the great
American novel,’” Julie said. “Obviously my
dreams of grandeur didn’t go anywhere, but I
did write 150 pages of a story that became the
basis for my debut novel, A Passion Most
Pure.”
Forty years later, those childhood dreams
became a reality.
“I was sitting in a beauty parlor reading a
Newsweek magazine July 16, 2001, cover
article about Christian entertainment,” Julie
said. “It said Christian books, movies and
music were on the threshold of exploding. My
heart jumped, and something in my spirit
said, ‘It’s time to finish your book.’ Now, I
have to be honest—up until that moment, I
had never seriously considered writing a book.
But the pull was so strong, that I started
writing A Passion Most Pure one month
later.”
Lucky for her readers she did so, and she
continues to entrance readers with rich, heart-
felt stories that focused on Godly romance.
“I wanted (to write about) an Irish family
coping with a war, like Gone with the Wind
but didn’t have the audacity to try another
Civil War epic,” Julie said. “As the 12th child
in a dysfunctional family of 13 kids, I also
knew I wanted to portray a family the way
God intended a family to be, flawed but
steeped in faith. The result is the saga of the
O’Connors, a passionate but imperfect family
who love God and each other in the best way
they know how.”
Judith Roberts, staff writer for Exemplify,
spoke further with Julie Lessman.
Listen in:
How long did it take to get your first
book published?
5.) Go for an agent first, publisher second.
You might say that I was the Queen of
Rejections—it took four and a half years and 6.) Then pray your heart out and put it in
45 rejections to get published. Anyone who God’s hands.
Writers Conference will remember me as the
back of the room when Brandilyn Collins
asked who had the most rejections in a year. I
I N E
won hands-down with 19 (at that time) and
went on to garner in excess of 45 (both agent
and publisher rejections, including three
received AFTER I signed a 3-book contract
with Revell Publishing!). Even my agent
Natasha Kern blanched a bit when she first
signed me, realizing after the ink was dry just
how many times I’d been rejected. I believe
the word she used was “daunting.” But
apparently not too daunting for her amazing
skills as an agent because she landed me a
three-book contract in the first six months.
What was the process you went
through?
Aspiring writers have asked me that question
so often that I actually drafted the following
steps I took on my own path to publication.
Here they are, and I hope they will help other
aspiring authors on their own writing journey:
1.) Join ACFW (American Christian Fiction
Writers at http://
www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com/),
FHL (Faith, Hope & Love at http://
www.faithhopelove-rwa.org/) and RWA
(Romance Writers of America at http://
www.rwanational.org/), both to get connected
with other like-minded writers and to learn a
lot about your craft.
2.) Take a fiction-writing class or attend a
writing seminar or conference.
3.) Join a critique group (you can do that
through ACFW).
4.) Purchase and study writing books such as
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni
Browne and Dave King or Writing the
Breakout Novel by Donald Maas, AND invest
in a great thesaurus such as The Synonym
Finder by Rodale Press (my writer’s bible!!).
5.) Enter contests for invaluable feedback,
growth, confidence, networking opportunities
and to get your name out there.
6.) Frequent websites/blogs that deal with
writing, such as The Seekers (http://
seekerville.blogspot.com/), a group blog that I
belong to whose theme is “On the road to
publication. Writing, contests, publication and
everything in between.”
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Do you have plans for future one scene where the mother and father— dinner with my husband or snuggling with
books and/or series? Marcy and Patrick—have a fight in the him while we watch a movie on “his” big-
bedroom “a little hard to believe.” screen HD-TV. Mmm … now that’s making
Yes, as a Baby Boomer, I am toying with time for myself !
the idea of writing a cousin’s trilogy set in “Believe it,” my husband said with a
the 1960s or 70s. We’ll have to see wheretwist of his lips. “All except the part about
that takes me. going to the bar.” My girlfriend was
completely shocked and I’m sure more
Do you ever put a little of your life prone to question all the scenes in my books ______________
from that point on!
and your love story with your
Judith Roberts has been
husband into your writings?
What are your other hobbies married to her college
besides writing? sweetheart for four years, and
Is the sky blue? Well, at least it is here both she and her husband are
today! Sure, every writer puts bits and pieces active in their church. She is a
of themselves and their lives into their I READ—every chance I get! I actually college instructor pursuing
writing because that’s where we draw the carry a book almost everywhere I go so I can her doctorate and hopes to
passion and the fire from, at least in my read while I’m waiting in store checkout mirror Jesus in her everyday
experience. So much so that sometimes it lines, at doctors’ offices or even at a stoplight life.
gets a little embarrassing for my family. (especially if there is a train!). My favorite
genre is romance (shock!), the bigger the
One of my favorite stories about this is book, the better (which explains the … ahem
when a good friend came over for dinner … length of my own novels!). I also love
and was talking to Keith in the kitchen. She watching old movies (Gone With the Wind,
was telling him how much she loved A That Touch of Mink, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Passion Most Pure, but that she found the and Susan Slept Here are some of my
favorites) and I especially like going out to

30
©Exemplify Magazine

This Is How He Reminds Me
Written by Leigh Anne of Lulaville.com
She was playing in the nursery at
church one Sunday evening.
Suddenly, and completely without
provocation, she began to sob. I
rushed to this precious child’s side
and asked her name.
“Katie!” she cried.
“Katie, what’s wrong? Why are
you sad?” I inquired, kneeling so
that we were eye to eye.
“I just want to be where I’m
supposed to be!” she wailed.
Katie is four years old, and
apparently the realization that she
was the eldest child in the nursery
was causing her much distress.
Before gathering her into my
arms, I noticed Katie’s shoes…on
the wrong feet. ”Well, that’s one
© Exemplify Magazine
E X E M P L I F
thing I can immediately fix,” I
thought to myself.
Repositioning Katie’s shoes did
not calm her fears. She begged
me to take her to her big sister,
Tiffany. I carried little Katie out
of the nursery and we found
Tiffany. As soon as Katie laid
eyes on her sister, she was
completely comforted.
Walking back to the nursery,
where my own child was waiting,
I kept thinking about Katie’s
earlier pronouncement: ”I just
want to be where I’m supposed to
be!”
Y M A G A Z I N
How many times have I said these
exact words to the Lord? And,
just as with Katie’s shoes, I try to
fix things myself. I step back,
assess the situation, and convince
myself that I am capable of
mending most of the frayed fabric
in my life. If the damage
becomes too great, then I'll turn it
over to God and seek the help of
His alterations.
Deuteronomy 4:29 reminds me,
“But if from there you seek the
Lord your God, you will find Him
if you look for Him with all your
heart and with all your soul.”
Such a powerful promise, yet one
I seem to forget more than I care
to admit.
Back in the nursery I watched my
daughter playing with a few other
children and toddlers. While
E
sitting in a rocking chair I prayed,
“God…I do just want to be where
You want me to be…help me to
trust You in all things, and to turn
to You first, rather than seeking
You as a last resort. I want to be
in the center of Your will…”
Just as Katie was quieted in the
presence of her elder sister, my
questions and fears are quelled
when my heart is focused on God.
Katie longed to be in her sister’s
presence, as I long to be in my
God’s. I’m thankful He used this
little girl to remind me that I just
want to be where He wants me.
31

Jochebed
I lift the palmfuls of water to my
face, feeling the cool relief as the
water trickles down my cheeks
and neck. The sun glares down
from the sky, scorching everything
in its path.
Beside me, he coos softly. I adjust
the linen cloth over his face, just
enough to keep him covered but
open enough to hopefully coax in
a breeze. “Shh,” I whisper,
rocking the straw basket slightly.
Along the river Aaron and
Miriam splash and play, laughing
giddily. My throat closes as I look
at my two beautiful children, so
full of life. My hand comes to
rest involuntarily on the small
basket beside me. Will I be able
32
E X E M P L I F
to see this one grow and splash in
the water?
Fear – cold, gripping, paralyzing
fear – overtakes me right there in
the rushes on the riverbanks, and
all of the sudden the sun and its
furious rays are no longer and
issue for me. What if we get
caught? Surely the Egyptians will
put us to death.
There is stirring coming from the
basket, and I know another coo is
coming. It is time to go.
I call to Aaron and Miriam, and
they slowly and begrudgingly
drag themselves out of the water.
I gather the basket into my arms,
making sure it looks like nothing
Y M A G A Z I N
more than a container of linens,
and we depart for home.
The kids bicker and argue behind
me as we walk, but my mind is
elsewhere. The fear has pushed
me into the recesses of my
memories. Back to the day of his
birth, when we made the decision
whether to become murderers, or
be the ones murdered…
* * *
The midwife stood close, washing
and wrapping the small, delicate
baby, while another worked to
clean the sopping mess of linens
at my feet. My hands were curled
into half-fists from the straining of
many hours of labor. I dragged
in gulping breaths. “The child,” I
rasped. “What is it?”
Before she answered with her
voice, I saw her response in her
E
eyes. She sighed heavily and
clasped her fingers together in her
lap over the body of my youngest
child. “It’s a boy. A healthy,
beautiful baby boy.”
A multitude of emotions ripped
at my heart. Joy for the safe
delivery of another child.
Inexplicable, incomparable love
for a baby I had not even seen
yet. And yet…
A boy. My eyes filled with tears as
fear worked to overtake the joy of
the moment.
The midwife brought him to me
and laid him on my heaving
chest. I tried to focus on his little
face through my tears. He
yawned and worked his mouth,
searching for something to suckle.
A boy.
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I glanced up at the midwife, who was
watching us carefully with the faintest hint of
a smile on her face. “Does Amram know?”
She nodded. “We told him the minute your
glorious son was born.”
My glorious son. He was so beautiful, so
perfect in miniature. I reached down and
threw some blankets over my waist and legs,
so as to spare Amram any evidence of the
birth. “Will you ask him to come in, please?”
She nodded and exited quickly. The second
midwife finished gathering the soiled linens,
tossed them into a basket, and headed out to
the river. Within a few moments, Amram
came into the room. He kneeled on the floor
beside me, one hand on my forehead and the
other on the chest of our newest son. “How
are you?” he asked gently, kissing my
forehead.
“Terrified,” I said honestly, and I gave in to
my emotions. I sobbed and sobbed, not
concerned with the dribbling of my nose and
the streaming of my eyes. “What are we going
to do?”
Amram studied me. “Do you honestly think
we have a choice?”
I shook my head. “No, we don’t. But what
about Pharaoh’s edict?”
“What about it?” Amram said fiercely. “We
answer to God first.” He sighed heavily, and
when he spoke again his voice was slightly
weaker than before. “We will circumcise him.
We will hide him. If the Egyptians come and
take him, it will be on their heads, not ours.
We will not turn him over to the authorities.
If anyone asks, we will say the child died at
birth. We will conceal him for as long as we
can. Perhaps if we can hide him long
enough, Pharaoh will repeal this edict. Until
then, all we can do is wait and pray.”
I nodded. I knew he was right. I was hoping
for some sort of comfort, encouragement.
But Amram, ever the realist, had no comfort
to give. Not because he was incapable,
because there was none in the situation.
Amram gently stroked the skin of our new
son’s face. “I would rather break a thousand
laws and lie a thousand lies than disobey the
Lord.” He bent down and kissed the new
pink scalp.
Anxiety welled up inside of me, and fear
settled in over my heart. It was as though
when new life exited my womb, a death
sentence was proclaimed over my own. And
then I looked down and my son, and the
overwhelming sense of dread disappeared. I
stared at his tiny perfect face, and it became
real. Of course our lives were worth his. A
thousand times over.
The adrenaline began to wear off and
exhaustion crept into my body. I could feel
my eyes closing, and as I drifted off into the
sleep that only comes after birth, I snuggled
my son – my greatest joy and my potential
downfall – a little closer to my heart.
* * * in a sack of wheat. “I am going to pray about
He will not quiet down. I rock and hold and
swaddle him. Still he cries, still he coos and
laughs and gurgles. I lay him down on the
floor and he holds his head up high, giggling
and drooling. I observe how fabulous he is.
How the wrinkled cheeks and dimpled eyes
had given way to smooth, shiny skin. How his
thick little legs resemble the logs hauled in to
build the palace.
Even at the tender age of three months, he is
breathtaking.
For the past three months, concealment has
been easy. He was a docile, well-behaved
infant. He nursed quickly and slept often.
Amram helped me fashion a wrap that would
bind him around my stomach under my
robes. When people questioned my size, I
simply lied and told them my figure was
having a hard time adjusting to delivering a
still birth. It was difficult to talk about a child
who was supposed to be dead, when in reality
I could feel him twisting, breathing, and
adjusting against my belly.
But now things are different. He has grown
so large I cannot bind him anymore, and have
taken to carrying him around in a basket
wherever I go. I try to get water, food, and do
the wash when I know there will be few
women around. But even though I have
become an expert in concealing his physical
appearance, there is nothing I can do to
silence him, and he is growing louder and
more active by the day.
I have done everything I can imagine to
preserve the life of my son. Unfortunately my
son’s ability to make himself known is
Miriam pinches her nose while I work. “So I
growing much greater than my ability to make am just supposed to watch where the basket
him disappear.
goes?”
Tonight, as I hold him, gazing in awe at his
Beside me he lets out a loud giggle, and I
beautiful smile, his juicy pink gums slick with carefully adjust the linens over his face again.
saliva from incoming teeth, I confess to
“Yes, just for a while. Just to make sure…”
Amram my fears. “I cannot do this much
longer,” I tell him. “Soon the baby will be
crawling and then walking. Then what will I
do? He is already too big to strap around my
waist.”
Amram sits silent for a long time. Finally, “If
we admit we have them, not only will they kill
us, they will kill him too. Even though he is
three months now, the fact that he is a
Hebrew is a strike of ultimate death.”
My heart spasms inside my chest so hard I am
afraid it is going to jump into my throat.
“No,” I whisper. “I won’t let that happen.
Not to my son!”
Amram leans back against the wall, lost in
thought. I know this look. He is sifting
through possible solutions as if they are grains
this,” he says quickly. “You should do the
same.” He walks out of the house.
I shift and place the baby on the floor and
kneel over him. My tears fall onto his little
body, and he giggles and laughs as strands of
my hair fall forward out of its pins. He is so
joyful, and he has no idea how sorrowful his
mother is. When I begin to pray, I speak
barely above a whisper, even though my heart
is screaming to the heavens.
“O, Lord God Jehovah, my son… how do I
save my son?”
* * *
Miriam is confused, and I cannot say I blame
her. Amram’s plan is crazy to the naked eye,
but it is the only solution we have. He says it
is from the Lord, that God has asked him to
do this and it is the only way to preserve the
life of our baby boy.
The guardsmen of the palace have started
searching homes. Twice we have had close
calls. At one point I convinced Aaron to
moan and groan as though he had a stomach
illness in order to mask any sound the baby
made.
The guardsmen were repulsed and left the
house quickly, praised be to the Lord.
I pull the papyrus basket into my lap and coat
the second side with the pungent pitch. I am
not lost to the symbolic nature of this act. An
ark for my son. The Lord saved His people by
an ark. O Lord, that you would save my son
by an ark as well!

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 E X
* * * enough to do it myself.
The water speaks back to me as I carefully
place him into the rushes. Just a few feet
further, the current of the Nile picks up and
moves quickly. It does not, however, move as
quickly as my heart.
The little papyrus ark floats perfectly, the
rushes protecting him from moving too fast. I
know I have to leave. I know I have to just
walk away from my child. It’s such a simple
thing to say, yet it is as complicated as trying
to separate my head from the rest of my body.
What if no one finds him?
What if the wrong people find him?
What if he starves?
What if he’s eaten by a crocodile?
What if he drowns?
The questions race around and around in my sobs on the ground. Little Aaron walks over
head. And the doubts creep in.
What kind of mother are you? You are just
abandoning your son in the river? How is
what you are doing any different from what
the Egyptians would do? At least if you kept
him home, you could care for him until they
come, and his death would be swift. Here he he’s hungry. I wonder if he’s hot. I wonder if asked her if she wanted me to find a nurse for
will die, most likely slowly, and it’s all your he’s crying. I wonder if he’s been scented by a him, a Hebrew woman to feed him. And she
fault!
“No, no,” I whisper to myself. “Amram is sure Bitterness rises like soured bile from my
this is what the Lord would have us do. This
is the only way to save him!”
Save him? The only one you are saving is
yourself ! You are abandoning your child!
I shake my head violently, pressing my palms
to my temples. It would be so easy to pull him cursed people. I long for the place where our We scale the levee and there in the banks
out of the river, to take him home and wait
for the inevitable. And yet is it ever easy to
disobey the Lord?
And His voice speaks to me: Trust Me,
Jochebed. Chills race down my arms.
I kiss my fingertips and place them gently on
the top of the basket. “I love you, my son. I
love you more than you will ever know.” I
meet Miriam’s eyes. She is extremely well-
composed, considering the situation. She
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E M P L I F Y M A G A Z I N E
nods gravely, knowing what I have asked her My Miriam, with her hair in wild wisps
today. around her face and sweat trickling down her
face, stands panting in the doorway,
I have asked her because I am not strong silhouetted against the brilliant sunlight. I
jump to my feet. “What’s happened?”
I gather my skirts around my knees and leave “I will tell you on the way, just come!” And
the river. The tears are falling hot and salty she turns and dashes out the door.
before I have even cleared the levee rise. I
break into a run, gasping through my sobs for She is fast for such a young girl, and it takes
air, my feet beating the searing earth. I run me several minutes to catch her. “Miriam,
until my chest aches to bursting, until it feels what – is he OK? Did they find you?”
like iron bars have been wrapped around my
Miriam’s eyes are shining with tears as the
midsection. I pass many neighbors, each
words came tumbling out over her breaths as
staring awkwardly at me and my sopping face.
she ran. “Oh Mama, it’s the most wonderful
The same people who commented about how
thing! Princess Hapshepsut came down to the
well I handled the loss of an infant.
river right after you left with all her slave girls.
What they don’t know is that I am I think she was coming to take her bath or
experiencing my loss now. And I am not something. Anyway, the baby started crying
handling it well at all. and I got so scared! I mean, the Pharaoh’s
daughter! I was going to run away, but I just
couldn’t leave without seeing what happened
to him. The Princess saw the basket and sent
* * *
one of her attendants to pull it out of the
I reached our home and thrust myself rushes. She got him out and brought him to
through the door, dust from the earthen floor the Princess. She unwrapped him and took
rising in thick clouds around my shuffling feet. one look at him and knew he was a Hebrew
As soon as the door shuts out the brilliant from the circumcision. I just knew she was
sunlight behind me, I collapse in a heap of going to order one of the attendants to toss
him back into river, and I didn’t think I could
to me and places a chubby arm around my handle seeing that. But he was crying so
shoulders. I reach up and grasp it, joyful in hard, and Mama, I wish you could have seen
his presence and lamenting the absence of my her face! She looked so sad seeing him cry.
youngest. So she tells her attendants that he’s a Hebrew
baby and wonders what she is going to do
I wonder if he’s still there. I wonder if he’s with him. And then – and I don’t know why
been pulled away by the current. I wonder if in the world I did this – I ran up to her and
predator. said yes, so I came to get you!” Miriam’s face
shines with tears, sweat, and excitement.
I wonder if he’s still alive.
My heart soars with the news that my son is
alive, but I can’t help but feel apprehensive. Is
stomach, filling my mouth and cloaking my the Pharaoh’s daughter so dim that she didn’t
heart. Rage and hatred so fierce against the realize the connection between the small girl,
Egyptians began surging through my blood. the baby, and the nurse being brought for
How dare they? Who are they to say who can him? Is this a trap? Is this just the Princess’s
live and who can’t? How dare they force our way to carry out her father’s orders and to
family into this position? execute not only the son, but the mother as
I long for the land of our home, where well?
children were sacred and we were not a
stands the Princess with her entourage.
forefather Levi grew and lived. Cuddling my son to her breast. My muscles
I wonder if being there would have made any jerk as though to reach for him, but I know I
difference. must restrain my urges.
I am so absorbed in my grief I don’t hear the
door open. The only way I know someone
has entered is the blinding light now flooding
the room.
“Mama, Mama – come quick!”
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She is a beautiful young woman with dark, We head into the house. Amram rises from
almond-shaped, slightly haughty eyes. But his seat, shock filling his face. Miriam and I
her smile is warm when I approach and kneel take turns telling the glorious story. He takes
before her. his son into his arms, kissing him and
rejoicing.
“I have found this baby in the river, and he is
still young and needs a nurse. I would like to That night, I am the only one laying awake as
keep him as my son, but I am unable to nurse the moon rises overhead. Little Moses lies
him. I need you to nurse him and raise him, beside me, cooing softly, watching his fingers
and I will pay you for your services. When he open and close above his face. I trace the
is old enough, you can send him to live in the lines of the moonlight on his face. He is still
palace.” so perfect.
I nod at the ground, mumbling a faint, “Yes,
my Princess,” and try to keep the joy off my
face. I stand up and she holds him out to Oh, God, my son was dead to me and
place in my arms. He immediately reaches because of You he is once again alive! You
for me, cooing softly. Then she smiles at me. revoked the sentence of death that has been
over his head since birth, and you’ve given
“I have decided to call him Moses, because I him life. He has a new name because of You
have drawn him out of the water. I would like and Your intervention, a name that will tell
for you to call him that.” She nods in everyone of the work You’ve done in his life. I
dismissal, and heads back towards the water, am, and will always be, forever grateful to
her attendants scurrying behind her. you, Lord.
Miriam and I make our way back up the Moses sighs deeply and pulls me out of my
levee, and I am crying again. I look at the prayer. He is asleep, his tiny nostrils flaring
face of my sweet boy, his bright smile and eyes softly. I smile and allow my own eyes to close,
so like his father. He reaches up and pats my my heart filled with praise and gratitude for
chin clumsily with his puffy hand. the return and the life of my son. I realize I
have been on both sides, knowing what it is to
Oh, my son. Lord, You have kept Your word. be in loss and knowing what it is to be filled.
You have given me back my son. You told us Yet regardless of my circumstances, I will be
what to do to keep him safe, even though it forever grateful, because I know the Lord I
seemed ludicrous. Even though there were serve has power to do the unimaginable.
doubts. Even though there were a million
things that could have gone wrong. You
protected him. And now you have given him
back to us. All we had to do was believe and Adapted from Exodus 2:1-10
be obedient. I choke back a sob.
“Mama,” Miriam asks softly, placing a hand
on my arm. “Are you OK? Why are you
crying? Aren’t you happy we have him back?”
I nod and laugh through my tears. “Yes,
sweetheart. I am so happy. These are tears of
joy, and of gratitude. Not only has he been
returned to us, but now we no longer have to
hide him. We no longer have to live a lie.
And God has blessed us with fortune in
bringing him back to us. We have so much to
be thankful for.”
She slips her small hand into my free one.
“Yes, we do. And we have to call him Moses
now, don’t we?
Tara Rachel is a born-and-bred Southern girl who loves sweet
“Yes, we must. It was the name given by the tea, Jesus, and football - and not necessarily in that order.
Princess, and we have to honor it. It will also Visit her at Musings of a Future Pastor's Wife, where she
protect him. I think it’s fitting, don’t you? He blogs about her day-to-day life as the wife of a seminary
was put in the river and drawn back out.” student/youth pastor and mom to a precious toddler girl, and
She contemplates this for a moment then the daily truths the Lord teaches her.
smiles. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

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