Kat h a r i n e Ca r n e y

Wo m e n Dr e s s f o r Bu s i n e s s a n d Lo v e
Note by her husband, Jack Carney:
Katharine never got the opportunity to finish this work that was to have been a short book on the
subject of women dressing for business and for love. She died in my arms at 34 in 1! from
terminal cancer. " hope you can hear her distinctive voice in these few words: a lemon twist of
sunny humor# no pretensions and to the point# grounded in e$perience# and elevated with ordinary
wisdom. " think you will be able to catch at least one of her five virtues at work here: %eauty# &un#
'ogic# Serenity# (ruth. )ay she be of good use to you as she has been to me.
Quality assurance for the wardrobe
Continuous wardrobe improvement
Kaizen in the bedroom
Re-engineering your wardrobe
*omen are different from men and this is most obvious when we are confronted by early morning
challenges. )en strive to find matching socks while we stand naked and dumbfounded by our
wardrobe.
"n a valiant attempt to rescue our self esteem we guide our significant others to their socks# we may
even iron their shirts and give useful advice on their ties but no matter how many times we try to
distract ourselves we know that before leaving home# we must con+uer the wardrobe.
(his book is written to help you defeat a particular kind of morning sickness# that sense of
hopelessness caused by unironed garments# forgotten dry cleaning# laddered stockings# the wrong
coloured underwear# client meetings and a general lack of sartorial wellbeing.
Since so many of the rules we used to have about dressing have been changed# what we should look
like at work has become an unneccesarily stressful e$ercise in decision making. "nstead of
following rules# we now have to decide which rules are going to work best for us
Who am I dressing for?
,s with everything we do# ultimately we dress for ouselves. &or me this means that " dress so that
people will treat me well. ,t work " would like people to:
-espect me
%elieve " am competent
'ike me
.ay me
(his means that " must dress to please both my boss and my clients.
*hat " would like from my husband and friends socially is somewhat different. "t is important that
you understand that trying to impress your mother# boyfriend# husband or art teacher is entirely
different from trying to impress your boss or your clients.
/ress for se$ and love. /ress for family and friends. %ut don0t confuse them with dressing for
work.
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(here are different e$pectations about how you should dress depending on your seniority and the
class of people with whom you work.
eniority
,t a lower level of seniority a shorter skirt and brighter colours may well be rewarded because they
are attractive to clients but also because they clearly show that you are the junior staff member.
Such dress makes your boss or senior colleague more confident because it makes them look more
in control. Such a strategy may work well for you in the first couple of years out of university
because you do not look like a threat.
"f you wish to progress with your career the strategy needs to be changed. ,s you gain confidence
it becomes less necessary for you to gain the attention of others by the way you dress. ,t some
point in your career# what you say will become more important than how you look. ,t this time
your dress should reinforce your seniority and confidence. 2uality and elegance will become your
keynotes.
,t a later stage in your career you may feel so confident that dress 3rules3 need not apply to you.
(his is a mistake made by women who are assured of their position and feel they need to please no4
one. 5owever the dress 3rules3 that worked for you by creating confidence and admiration
amongst your clients and colleagues still apply and it would be unwise to go against these rules just
to prove that you can get away with it. ,fter all# true self confidence means following the rules
because they work# not because you have to follow them.
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!alues
"n spite of ,ustralia0s egalitarianism in comparison with 6uropean and %ritish society# we have a
class structure and it does affect the appropriateness of our dress. "f you accept that you are
dressing to impress your boss and your clients then you need to watch them to understand their
dress standards.
*e have a tendency to believe that other people share our values. (his is partly because we tend
to limit our work and social activity to those of a similar upbringing. 5uman beings have a strong
need for belonging and mi$ing with people of similar tastes and opinions helps to make us feel we
belong.
(o understand our colleagues and clients values# we must therefore consciously assess them. (o
wear e$pensive labels in a middle class environment may make your colleagues feel you are 3stuck
up3. (heir jealousy is best tolerated by not discussing your interstate or overseas shopping trips#
especially if your boss thinks it acceptable to buy jackets at %ig *.
"f you are in the opposite situation# wearing discount department store clothing because your
mortgage is more important to you than clothing# you would be wise to review your values. "f the
mortgage is more important to you than a career improvement# then enjoy your work and do your
best to gain recognition but do not be surprised if you are overlooked for promotion or sent on a
3self improvement3 course. "f your career is more important to you at this time then find the
money for a designer label suit. 7otice where your colleagues buy their work clothes and if you
get on well with them# don0t be afraid to ask their advice.
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"f you are intimidated by designer label stores or the shop assistants in these sections of department
stores# make yourself spend time in the shop 3just looking3. 7otice the brand names# the price
ranges and the types of fabrics. 'isten to how the brand names are pronounced and if in doubt ask
the sales assistant to pronounce it for you.
(ake time to buy maga9ines such as :ogue and )ode to become more familiar with the brand
names known to your colleagues or clients ;but don0t use these maga9ines as a guide to business
dressing<.
"he importance of first impressions #again$
"he benefits of loo%ing attractive
"he benefits of loo%ing appropriate
What is the best &business& dress for a woman?
(here is no maga9ine for business dressing and therefore it is difficult to know what kind of
clothing is fashionable and appropriate for business.
&ortunately the rules of business dressing for women do not change greatly. ,s is the case for men
the rules are simple and basic.
(he most effective outfit for women is a dark suit including a skirt# either knee length or ankle
length and matching jacket. (his outfit should be bought as a suit not separately with an attempt
to match the colour.
7o cleavage.
7o leg showing above the knee.
)ake up.
)inimal jewellery ;watch# necklace# earrings<
Shoes and hosiery both the same colour as the suit.
7o stiletto heels.
Straight rather than flowing lines.
,lthough these dress rules are easily understood and proven through research to be effective# it
appears that women will go to special lengths to avoid wearing such an outfit.
(he reason that following these rules is difficult for women is that we are constantly trying to
prove our attractiveness. *e do this to gain the approval or commitment of the men we love. *e
therefore need to keep affirming our attractiveness= (he relationship you have with your
permanent de facto>husband is the probably the most important one you will have. "t is critical that
you dress so that he finds you attractive. "f he finds you attractive he is likely to give you the
support# love and commitment you need to find your way through career changes# motherhood# bad
hair days and finally old age. (his person is to be selected carefully and looked after very
carefully. *e would be very wise to take into account what he likes and doesn0t like about our
clothes# hair# perfume and make up.
*e must understand that dressing for the love of our lives is /"&&6-67( from the way we dress
for work. (he best way to handle this is to discuss the subject with him directly.
?ou: /arling " need your help to buy a new suit for work. *ould you mind coming
shopping for 8 hours on Saturday.
5im: " don0t understand why you want to wear a suit to work. "t hides all your curves.
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?ou: /arling. *hen " wear a suit to work " feel confident and people listen to my
opinions rather than watching my curves. "t0s good for my career. "f you help me buy a
suit that we both like# " promise to buy another dress that ?@A like to wear this weekend.
5im: @K
(his kind of discussion can lead to the purchase of a suit that both of you like as well as a dress
that makes you feel like a se$ object on the weekend. (his kind of discussion goes a long way to
making sure you get a promotion at work and the kisses and cuddles you want at home.
, compromise outfit usually never works.
(he love of your life wants short skirts# tight pants# clinging blouses# unbuttoned tops# high heels
and an assortment of idiosyncratic delights which you are advised to understand and make sure you
have in your wardrobe. 5owever more than this# you know that when you wear a new or different
outfit you are likely to catch his attention and win his approval. (his is because men are
biologically built to impregnate as many females as possible. *e know that keeping men faithful
takes some effort and that changing the way we look to keep him interested is a useful way to
enhance our marriage. Anfortunately we learn this trick early in life and find it had to stop when
we look at our work wardrobe. Anlike men who can get by with two suits and si$ shirts# we feel
we need an entirely different outfit for everyday of the week and given the choice most women
would rather never wear the same outfit twice.
"t helps if we can understand the need to look different everyday is se$ually based and should be
restricted to our se$ual life unless we are very wealthy. 6specially when you are starting your
career it should help to know that at work you do not need a different outfit every day. ?ou need
appropriate# attractive outfits. Simply have as many as you can realistically afford.
What does &attractive& mean at wor%?
%eing 3attractive3 at work means:
*earing timelessly stylish clothes
*earing the right make up in an understated fashion
*earing clothes of the best +uality you can afford
*earing clothes that fit well
7ot looking se$y
Bhoosing an appealing colour
)atching colours well
)atching accessories with your clothing ;in colour# style and +uality<
*earing colours that are businesslike and which suit your comple$ion
'ooking clean# neat and tidy
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'ewellery
6arrings are highly recommended because they help frame your face and hold the attention of
whomever you are addressing. 5owever they should never be distracting 4 dangling# e$ceptionally
multicoloured or so large they can0t be ignored.
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,ttractive jewellery can greatly enhance your outfit and something special can act as an ice breaker
in conversation. ,s with earrings jewellery should be selected to complement what you wear not to
distract your audience.
"f in doubt# don0t wear it.
"f you do wear it# don0t fiddle with it while you talk.
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(a%e up
)ake up is essential for creating the best impression on others. Bhoosing the right make up is best
left to a consultant so pay for e$pert advice.
?ou need foundation# blusher# mascara# lipstick and perhaps concealer.
,lthough low cost items sometimes have the same result as e$pensive cosmetics# never be seduced
into buying something cheap just because you feel you need something new or different. &ind the
shades which look best on you and buy a good +uality product. "t is rarely worth buying the most
e$pensive cosmetics since you are usually paying for packaging# promotion and branding rather
than a superior formulation.
Skin care should not take a lot of time and effort. Anless you have a problem skin# soap# water and
the judicious use of moisturiser should be sufficient. (he most disappointing marketing activities
are undertaken by cosmetics companies who would have you believe that their products can
perform miracles such as preventing wrinkles and removing cellulite. (he majority of cosmetics on
sale at present are an insult to the intelligence of educated women.
.erfume makes you feel good and therefore " recommend you wear it. Bhoose one for the pleasure
of you and your man.
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)andbags and briefcases
***
)air
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*here are youC
.ersonality also affects the clothes we choose and the clothes we feel comfortable in. "f you are an
introvert or a shy e$travert# it is likely that you will prefer plain colours and traditional outfits. "t
is also possible that you will avoid wearing new outfits for fear of drawing attention to yourself.
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Keeping in good repair
D
%oth you and your clothes need to kept in good shape. *hen you are very busy it is e$tremely
difficult to find time to mend clothes or get a haircut. (his is naturally a false economy since a
brilliant presentation made while you flick the hair from your eyes is not a brilliant presentation.
&ind a good hairdresser ;and if you find one let me know< and have a hair cut at least once a
month. ?our hair is one of the most visible aspects of your presentation and its styling can create a
picture of attractive confidence# se$uality or complete dissarray. " would recomend attractive
confidence and this re+uires a hairdresser who understands that you want to look professional not
fashionable.
(he ideal cut of course is one that looks stylish at work and delightful to your husband. 5e comes
first of course and if he likes long hair as many men do# " recommend you leave it long and
concentrate on a neat chignon or bun for work. -emember the hairdresser is there to help with
hairstyling as much as cutting. .ay them to show you how to restrain your hair attractively and
+uickly for work.
"f you can afford it# have you clothes mended immediately by a professional and combine repairs
with your dry cleaning. &ind a dry cleaner who will pick up and drop off the clothes.
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tyle
)atching accessories
%eautiful fabrics and accessories
Scarves
Shoes
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Why don+t we follow the rules that wor%
"t0s boring
" need to e$press myself not wear a uniform
"0m the client
"0m too old
"0m in a creative business
" need to catch a husband
)y husband doesn0t like suits
)y friends don0t have an office job
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