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FEBRUARY 2014
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CRAZY, FUNNY
LOVE CONFESSIONS

LOSE -YOUR- MIND
ORGASM SECRETS

85 WAYS TO GET
YOUR DREAM HAIR
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nak nak nnna nak na nak akedd ked keed! d edd ed ed ed eed ked ed! d! !
FEBRUA
CRAZY, YY FUNNY
LOVE CONFESSION
LOSE -YOUR- MIND
ORGASMSECRETS
85 WAYS TO GET
YOUR DREAM HAIR
26RIDICULOUSLY
HOT MOVES
SEX!
The One Thing
You Must
NEVER
DO WITH
A GUY
P.102
SPEAK UP
& STAND OUT
AT WORK
ARIANA
GRANDE
Her Amazing Story!
ON TOP AT 20
cosmopolitan.com
BIKINI
BODY
PLAN
4 Steps
to Smokin !
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SAVING
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February
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 3
Top by Bec and Bridge.
Skirt by Belstaff. Necklace
and earrings by Deborah
Pagani. Bracelet by Elizabeth
and James. Ring by Djula.
To get Arianas look, try Fit
Me Shine-Free Gel Stick
Foundation in Classic Ivory, Fit Me Bronzer
in Deep Bronze, Eye Studio Color Tattoo
Pure Pigments in Downtown Brown, Volum
Express The Rocket Mascara in Black, and
Color Sensational Color Whisper in Bare to be
Bold, all by Maybelline New York cosmetics.
Fashion director: Aya Kanai. Hair: Mark
Townsend for Dove Hair Care. Makeup:
Kristofer Buckle using Chanel at Crosby Carter
Management. Manicure: Julie Kandalec using
Chanel La Vernis. Photographed by Matt Jones
Fun, Fearless
Game Plan
8 COSMO VIBES
10 21 THINGS TO DO
THIS MONTH
Fun, Fearless
Confessions
25 CONFESSIONS
29 WORST DATES EVER!
Fun, Fearless Celebs
31 SHORT FRIEND,
TALL FRIEND
32 A-LIST STYLE FOR
EVERY BODY TYPE
34 COSMO GUY
Alex Pettyfer
38 FUN, FEARLESSFAIL!
80 85 Ways to Get Your
Dream Hair
97 Speak Up and Stand
Out at Work
102 The One Thing You Must
Never Do With a Guy
106 $$$$-Saving TricksGirl!
You Deserve a Vacay
110 On Top at 20: Ariana Grande
Her Amazing Story!
116 Lets Get Naked! Fantasy
Sex26 Ridiculously Hot
Moves (and throughout
the issue)
120 Lose-Your-Mind
Orgasm Secrets
136 Crazy, Funny
Love Confessions
186 The Bikini-Body Plan:
4 Steps to Smokin!
COVER STORIES
110
Bodysuit, Bebe, $69; skirt, Moschino; star ring,
Nikos Koulis; earrings, Finn
Ariana Grande:
Tiny, tough, and
totally talented!
B
TW
,
YOU CAN

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OW
SUB
SCRIBE
TO COSM
O ON

YOUR IPAD, N
OOK
,
OR KIN
DLE
FIRE.
STORIES EE
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CRIBE
O ON

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OOK
,
DLE
E.
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some:
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6 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Win It!
Fun, Fearless
Shopping
43 SHOW THE LOVE
46 WHAT WERE INTO
THIS MONTH
48 ASK AYA
50 FUN, FEARLESS FINDS
UNDER $50
52 INSIDERS PICKS:
XOXO JEWELRY
54 LOOK HOT TONIGHT:
FOUR FAB LOOKS
Fun, Fearless
Beauty
63 PRISM PARTY
64 $10, TOPS!
66 ASK LEAH
69 DIAL IT UP!
LONGER, THICKER,
SEXIER HAIR
74 WHAT WERE
INTO THIS MONTH
76 GETTING READY:
TAKE-CHARGE
MAKEUP
78 SPOTLIGHT ON:
DOLCE & GABBANA
Fun, Fearless
Work & News
100 SECRETS OF
TEAMWORK
104 NEWS
109 FUN, FEARLESS
FEMALES
Love, Lust
& Other Stuff
115 STEALTH WAYS TO
BRING OUT HIS
ROMANTIC SIDE
124 SEX Q&A
126 ASK HIM ANYTHING
128 MANTHROPOLOGY
134 BABY BETRAYAL
Special Report
142 GIRLS WHO
LIKE GIRLS
150 OUR CHOICE: HOW
ABORTION CHANGED
OUR RELATIONSHIP
Fashion & Beauty
157 WHATS SEXY FOR
FEBRUARY
158 THE SWEETEST THING
Model Kate King
gets irty in orals
166 CRAZY SEXY
NEUTRALS
Hot & Healthy
175 IF YOU DO ONE
THING FOR YOURSELF
THIS MONTH
Spend more time
in bed
176 BODY NEWS
178 FOOD BUZZ
180 FITNESS BUZZ
182 MUST-READ: ARE
FOOD ALLERGIES
THE NEW EATING
DISORDERS?
Live It Up
189 THE BEST WAY
TO SPEND
VALENTINES DAY
192 THROW THE
CUTEST PUPPY BOWL
PARTY EVER!
In Every Issue
14 COSMO INBOX
18 FROM THE EDITOR
20 COSMO
CONTRIBUTORS
22 COVER GIRL QUIZ
36 JUST SAYING: THERES
MORE TO BEING
BLACK THAN WHAT
YOU SEE ON TV
40 SEXY VS. SKANKY
194 COSMO ASTROLOGER
196 RED-HOT READ
198 BITCH IT OUT!/
SHOPPING
INFORMATION
200 COSMO QUIZ: ARE
YOU A SEXPLORER?
Were obsessed
with this adorable
Pour La Victoire
bag. Love the
hardware, love the
colorlove it all!
Win itand a stash
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products! Enter to
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COSMOPOLITAN.COM/
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189
Whats cooking this
Valentines Day?
80
Punch up your look
with an edgy side braid.
Win this
Pour La
Victoire
bag!
Dreams do
come true
a cute bag
full of beauty
products!
J
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*
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p
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Like a shot of espresso
for tired skin
New GinZing

Energy-boosting moisturizer
Revs up radiance. Jump starts hydration levels. Oil free. $26.50.
*
Available at Origins Retail Stores, origins.com, select
Macys, Dillards, Bon-Ton, Belk and now Sephora.
Floral arrangementsin perfume, cocktails, heels!love
illuminated (literally), and hearts of goldheres what our
editors are shopping, Googling, and loving this month.
l l Floral arrange
illuminated (li
ed to s a e s editors are sh
vibes...
Shorts
at Work
A pair of shorts with
opaque tights make a cool
alternative to skirts and
dresses in the winter. Just
add a ladylike jacket.
SARAH CONLY, SENIOR
MARKET EDITOR
Tough
Love
Ive long been a fan of
graffiti artist Curtis Kuligs
love me movement.
His Me + Mi jewelry line is
awesome, like being tagged
by Curtis himself.
AYA KANAI, FASHION
DIRECTOR
Elizabeth and James
Nirvana White, $55,
sephora.com
Shoe, Kat Maconie,
$265, katmaconie.com
MAC Viva
Glam Rihanna
Lipstick, $16,
maccosmetics.com
Angel Without
You, by Tracey
Emin; Love
Illuminated, by
Daniel Jones;
both amazon.com
Heart necklace,
$90, love
necklace, $90,
Me + Mi,
meplusmi.com
Edible
Roses
My Pinterest has been
blowing up with rose-
flavored everything. A hint of
rose syrup in a plain vodka
soda makes it feel fancy.
LAUREN PANARIELLO,
ASSISTANT EDITOR
Peonies
When paired with
musklike in Elizabeth
and Jamess debut
perfumethe peony scent
is straight-up sexy.
MARTA TOPRAN,
SENIOR BEAUTY
EDITOR
Red-Hot
Lips
A swipe of this red
lipstick and youll
feel as badass as
@BadGalRiRi.
LONI ALBERT,
ASSOCIATE BEAUTY
EDITOR
Neon
Valentines
Artist Tracey Emins
pieces can be shocking
or sweet. Look her up,
and snap a screengrab
to send a friend.
KATIE L. CONNOR,
DEPUTY EDITOR
Plate, John Derian,
$8.50; rose syrup,
Royal Rose, $11;
both catbirdnyc.com
l
iel Jones;
bothamazon.com
Love
Stories
What is love?
Daniel Jones doesnt
have answers, just true
stories that had
me dying laughing.
HELIN JUNG,
SENIOR EDITOR
Statement
Shoes
A cool print and chunky
heel are an easy upgrade
to your office look.
NICOLE FINEO,
ASSOCIATE
ACCESSORIES
EDITOR
dible

flav
ro
s
Fun, Feeeaaarlesssss thhhh This Mont
8
Look from 424
Fifth collection
at Lord & Taylor
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4
2
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F
I
F
T
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et a
F
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G
IF
T
!
Fun, Fearless Game Plan
21
O
utside
th
e
B
edroom
!
Things to Do
This Month
4. MEET
YOUR NEW
BESTIES Abbi
Jacobson and Ilana
Glazer, of the Amy
Poehlerproduced
Broad City, on
Comedy Central,
might be the most
keep-it-real city girls
since, well, Girls.
migh
keep-it-real c
since, well, Girls.
B

1. FLY SOLO
Jennifer Nettles,
aka the lady half of
Sugarland, ditches
the band for her
debut solo album,
That Girl. Epic vocals?
Shes still got em!
2. HOLLER FOR
THE TEAM USA
Hotties (oh,
hey there, Bode
Miller) as they
vie for gold at the
XXII Olympic
Winter Games
in Sochi, Russia.
The action starts
February 7.
2. HOLLE
T
5. DOWNLOAD Brit girl
group Little Mixs sophomore album,
Salute, on February 4, and brace yourself
for a months worth of earworm tunes.
3. WEAR A WARHOL
Then hang it on your wall. The
limited edition Pop Wrap collection
celebrates the work of creative
giants and close friends Diane von
Furstenberg and Andy Warhol.
Mittens, P.S. from
Aropostale, $14, ps4u.com
Top, Diane von
Furstenberg,
$98, dvf.com
6.
VALENTINES DAY IS ALSO
NATIONAL
CONDOM DAY
GET ONE;
GIVE ONE.
10
7. to 9.
START A
BOOK CLUB,
BECAUSE
Youre going to want
to discuss: 7. Katie
Heaneys memoir
Never Have I Ever: My
Life (So Far) Without a
Date, in which she
considers her boy-
friendless world at 25.
8. The Silver Linings
Playbooks Matthew
Quicks The Good Luck
of Right Now, which
explores love and
obsessionwith
Richard Gere.
9. Kim Fus debut For
Today I Am a Boy, a
heartbreaking tale of a
guy certain hes a girl. C
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B
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B
A
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K
/
W
I
R
E
I
M
A
G
E
.
13. to 16.
CHOOSE YOUR
ROMANCE
13. LOL LOVE: Michael Ealy
and Joy Bryant ponder get-
ting serious after a one-night
stand in About Last Night.
14. TIME-TRAVEL LOVE:
Colin Farrell reincarnates
Jessica Brown Findlay (aka
Downton Abbeys Lady
Sybil) in Winters Tale.
15. DANGEROUS LOVE: Kate
Winslet falls for Josh Brolins
felon in Labor Day.
16. HOPELESS LOVE: Alex
Pettyfers rock-hard abs
remake Endless Love.
12. GET WEIRD
With Tobey Maguire,
Kristen Wiig, Jessica
Alba, and Will Ferrell in
The Spoils of Babylon,
Funny or Dies six-part,
over-the-top saga on IFC.
20. DELUDE
YOURSELF, JUST
A LITTLE
In their new book Everyone
Wants to Be Me or Do Me, star
bloggers Tom & Lorenzo reveal
the upside to believing that the
world revolves around you
namely, the self-confidence
and attitude of an A-lister.
Jessica
Down
Sybil
15. DAN
Winslet f
felo
16. HOP
Pettyf
rema

11. TURN IT UP
AT HALFTIME
After Beyoncs fuse-
blowing Super Bowl half-
time performance last year,
Bruno Mars has some seri-
ously (Sasha) fierce shoes
to fill. But if anyone has the
moves and grooves to bring
down the Meadowlands,
its the soulful crooner
all 5 feet 5 inches of him.
17. GET AWAY FOR
PRESIDENTS DAY
Waited until the
last minute? The
Hipmunk app shows
you day-of hotels at
a discount. Check it.

10. PURGE YOUR PROFILE
In honor of Facebooks 10th birthday
(yep, young Zucks been at it for 10 years!).
Take down your oldest album. Its time.
YO
In
Wa
blog
the
wo
na
a
Big hair,
dont care!
21. IGNORE THE DRESS
CODE Remember when CBS tried to
put the kibosh on outrageous dresses at the
Grammys? Puh-lease! Theres no stopping
Mother Monster, Ke$ha, Rihanna, or Katy
when they hit the red carpet January 26.
Get more Alex on p. 34.
18. to 19. MAKE SOME NOISE For girl-powered
concert tours. This month, Fifth Harmony, Cher Lloyd, and
Little Mix join Demi Lovato on The Neon Lights tour, while
Miley boasts Sky Ferreira and Icona Pop on her Bangerz crusade.
13
14
15
16
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Cosmo CosmoInbox Inbox
14 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Talk to us! What do you think about this issue?
E-mail your thoughts to Inbox@Cosmopolitan.com, visit Cosmopolitan.com to comment, or tweet us @Cosmopolitan.
SEASONS TREATINGS
I have wanted to try role-playing with my boy-
friend of four years for a while now. After reading
Twelve Days of Sex Moves, I decided to try it. He
played my boss, and I was the naughty employee.
Lets just say, it was some of the best sex we have
ever had! Thanks, Cosmo! Chesni K., Indianapolis, IN
What You Thought
of the December Issue
SMILER LOVE
I was thrilled to see Miley on the
cover. I love her, and Im glad you
shed some light on her recent events.
We all change who we areshe isnt
Hannah Montana anymore, and
people need to give her a break! Keep
up the awesome work, Cosmo.
Molly H., Moorhead, MN
SO LONG, SUDS
I absolutely loved The Magic of
Oils, about using oil to cleanse your
face. I gave it a try right afer read-
ing. Not only did it make my skin
smooth and add a great glow, but
also I saw a visible change in the
appearance of dark spots and black-
heads! Im telling everyone I know
and ditching the bubbles for good!
Amber W., New Orleans, LA
$
5,000!
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What would you change?
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Hello, new wardrobe, dream vacay, or
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TELL US WHAT YOU THINK
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AND YOU COULD WIN
SUGAR RUSH
I liked The Secret World of Sugar
Babies. Im not sure Id ever consider
doing this, but I was curious to learn
about why some girls would. Not
judgingjust fascinated.
Shayna G., New York, NY
PHOTO OP
I loved the Ugly Sweater Christmas
Party ideas in this months issue.
Im having one, and I really liked the
idea of making a photo-booth back-
drop with gif wrap. Its such a sim-
ple idea, but I hadnt thought of it.
Jayme C., Lake Charles, LA
PARENTAL REALNESS
I loved Parents. Money. Awkward-
ness. Face it, we all go through these
money issues with our parents,
whether or not youve moved back
home. It was so helpful.
Catherine D., Bergeneld, NJ
GROWING PAINS
I was annoyed by Sit at the Grown-
Ups Table. Its not bad to go home
and be a kidbeing a grown-up is
hard enough as it is.
Ashley O., Bronx, NY
How does Cosmo t into your life?
Instagram your photo to
@Cosmopolitan #MyCosmo,
or tweet to @Cosmopolitan
#MyCosmo. If we feature your
photo in the mag, well give you $50!
SHOW US
YOUR COSMO!
@JillianLorraineBerg Necessities of
travel #MarcJacobs #KateSpade #Cosmo
#Starbucks #Travel #HawaiiBound
@EricaLynn91587 Always showin me
love!! Thanx, Aly Cat @AlexBurtt #Bestie
Love #Roses #Love #Friends #LuckyGirl
@AllisonPiwo It wouldnt be fair if I didnt
shamelessly plug my dog Harleys
#MyCosmo picture for December.
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Cosmo Question
How will you treat
yourself this
Valentines Day?
Dana Stern
Schwartz
Im going to SoulCycle
for the rst timeevery-
one says I will fall in love.
Dont tell my husband
thats my plan!
Marta Topran
Probably seeing That
Awkward Moment, starring
Zac Efrons naked butt
that should do
the trick.
M. Ryan Purdy
I will treat myself to a
lovely night in with my
wife, ordering our favorite
pizza and watching a
scary movieshe
loves them.
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For Valentines Day,
I am going to treat myself to
a big bowl of pasta
and sleeplove at
rst sight.
Jenifer Geller
On the couch
watching DVRd TV
with my amazing
husband!!
Meagan
Greene
Ill probably treat
myself to a nicer
bottle of wine
than usual.
Kaitlin Morse
Creedon
Im going to show
my body some love
with a deep-tissue
massage.
*Paul Mitchell

is proud to make the production


of Tea Tree carbon neutral through our support of
Conservation Internationals forest carbon program.
DISCOVER
THE NATURAL
MAGIC OF
TEA TREE
Guaranteed only in salons
and Paul Mitchell Schools.
paulmitchell.com
*
WATCH A SPECIAL MESSAGE
FROM OUR CO-FOUNDER
From thhhheeeEdiittoorr
18 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
One of the things we hear from
those of you starting out on your
career path is how daunting it
can be to get your foot in the door.
Thats why we decided to address
the issue full on, right here at
Cosmo HQ, with a series of career
events specializing in the fields we
know youre interested in. First up:
Fashion! We asked the Council of
Fashion Designers of America
(CFDA) to cohost our event, which
was sponsored by Lancme and
took place on a recent Saturday.
The day was packed with inspir-
ing speakers, from veteran design-
ers like Isaac Mizrahi and Cynthia
Rowley to Jenn Rogien, the genius
costumer for HBOs Girls and Net-
flixs Orange Is the New Black, to
American Eagle Outfitters style
director Preston Konrad. We talked
marketing and retailing with
Shawn Outler, a superstar VP from
Macys, we talked modeling with
Ivan Bart from IMG, and we high-
lighted the behind-the-scenes busi-
ness that you dont see on reality TV.
It was the first time the audience
was exposed to the sheer variety of
fashion jobs, and we all left inspired.
Well be holding more Cosmo
Live career events this year, so if you
want to attend one of them, e-mail
us at CosmoLive@Cosmopolitan
.com. For now, learn how to shine on
a team from DreamWorks Studios
Stacey Snider (shes Steven Spiel-
bergs partner, so she knows what
shes doing!), on page 100. And
theres plenty more inspiration
throughout the issue to keep you
kicking ass all month. Cheers!
Joanna Coles
Editor-in-Chief
joannacoles@cosmopolitan.com
Facebook.com/JoannaColesCosmo
Twitter: @JoannaColes
Cosmo Live!
Coles C JoannaC
Editor- rr in---Chief
an.com a cosmopolita
sCosmo s oannaColes
ter: @JoannaColes @Joann @J ann
Thanks @CFDA and @Cosmopolitan
for hosting such an #Inspiring event!
Such fabulous #Insight into the
fashion industry.
HEALEY LOEFFLER
@HealeySophia
@Cynthia_Rowley was incredible
and so down-to-earth. Thanks for
your wise words!
SYMA
@SymaSpeaks
At the amazing @Cosmopolitan
fashion event #CosmoFashionCareers,
listening to the best career advice!
ANDREA CHEDIAK
@AndreaChediak
Spending my birthday with
@CFDA and @Cosmopolitan
ALEXIS BENNETT
@LacedInLuxury
When entering a room, own it.
#CareerSummit #BeFearless
FUTURE ICON
@LorenLorosa
TWEETS FROM
OUR READERS
Isaac Mizrahi
and I talk shop.
Special
projects
director
Laura
Brounstein
Editorial
brand
director
Susan
Schulz
Everyone left
with a sweet
swag bag.
Executive
editor Joyce
Chang (center)
leads a
discussion on
how to break
into fashion.
The 160
fashion-
obsessed
guests got
up close
with Cynthia
Rowley,
Isaac
Mizrahi, Tom
and Lorenzo,
and more!
Deputy editor
Katie Connor with
bloggers Lorenzo
Marquez (left) and Tom
Fitzgerald (right).
Cosmos Creating a Fashion Story panel:
market director Shiona Turini, fashion director
Aya Kanai, senior bookings editor Steven
Brown, photo director Alix Campbell, and
special projects director Laura Brounstein. A
L
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20 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
How They
GOT THEIR START
COSMO
contributors
Ariel Schrag
In Girls Who Like Girls (p. 142), writer Schrag
debunks common myths about lesbians and dishes
out advice as our Ask Her Anything columnist.
How I got my start: I self-published my com-
ics in high school, then attended Columbia
University. After college, my comic book,
Potential, got optioned. I wrote the screen-
play, and my entertainment lawyer passed
the script on to the producers of the The L
WordI was hired as a staff writer. While
working in TV, I wrote my first novel, Adam
(out this spring), about a teen boy who vis-
its his gay older sister. Twitter: @ArielSchrag
Alice Lane
In the beauty story Crazy, Sexy
Neutrals (p. 166), British makeup artist
Lane shows how nude and natural hues
can be dramatic on their own.
How I got my start: In my early
20s, my boyfriend was a music
photographer, and Id help on his
shoots. The first person I ever put
mascara on was the lead singer of
The Killers! One day, it dawned on
me that makeup could be a stable
career. At 24, I got an opportunity
assisting makeup artist Aaron de
Mey. Not long after, a photo agent
took me on after seeing photos of
experimental makeup Id done on
myself, and Ive been with her
since. Instagram: @TheAliceLane
Skye Parrott
Photographer Parrott teamed up with rising star
Canadian model Kate King in The Sweetest Thing.
How I got my start: Id taken pictures since I was
young, but I thought Id go into law because
I saw it as practical. I deferred college for
a year and went to visit a guy I was seeing
in Paris. I called all the photo studios there
and said, If you have American photographers
in Paris, tell them to call me. I am a photo
assistant and can speak English. I got an
assisting job, realized how much I loved
photography, and never looked back. Since
then, Ive been a photo-studio manager,
a managing editor at a magazine, and a
photographer. Instagram: @SkyeParrott
Chelsea Maruskin
Set and production designer Maruskin
helped create the whimsical
wonderland in this months fashion
feature, The Sweetest Thing (p. 158).
How I got my start: I studied at Parsons,
in New York, then transferred to Pur-
chase College to study set design.
After college, a friend Id given a
dresser to called to ask if I wanted it
back because he was moving. We
got to chatting and he said, By the
way, do you still do sets? Because
I need help on a Cosmo shoot next
week. I said yes and helped him out,
and my career really snowballed
from there. Instagram: @CMaruskin11
Jessica Girdwain
Writer Girdwain explores the trend
of women claiming to suffer from
food allergies as an excuse to restrict
their diet in Are Food Allergies the
New Eating Disorders? (p. 182)
How I got my start: I went to Syra-
cuse University and interned at
CosmoGirl. After graduating,
I booked a one-way ticket to
New York City. I freelanced as
an editorial assistant and
coached gymnastics. One day,
I got rejected from a job Id
applied for, but the editor I inter-
viewed with knew me from
CosmoGirl and recommended
me for another job, which I got.
Now Im a full-time freelancer
in Chicago. I love the thrill of
landing new assignments!
ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
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AVAILABLE AT MACYS AND MACYS.COM
Cover Quiz
22 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Nickname:
My notebook
doodles always
look like this:
My favorite
karaoke song is:
The best love advice
Ive ever received
came from:
Who told me:
The most ridiculous
thing in my purse is:
The ladies I would love
to duet with are:
My biggest
celebrity crush is:
After touring with Justin
Bieber, I can tell you that
the one thing you dont
know about him is:
Topp, PPieerre Balmain;
ski s rt, Bluma marinne; ring, Shaay
Accesssories e
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d
Get in line,
Masked men.
To the left,
to the left
to her debut!
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OVER & OVER A-GWEN
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I trained as a dancer
and was performing
at Lincoln Center for
the first time. But
when I got onstage,
someone elses song
started playingit
was another groups
turn! I ran offstage
while the audience
laughed. Its on video.
CONFESSIONS
PHOTOGRAPHED BY
REBECCA GREENFIELD
EDITED BY MARINA KHIDEKEL
You reveal your most
embarrassing,
RIDICULOUS,
what-was-I-thinking
moments.
KAYLEE V., 20,
stylist, from
New York, NY
Y
Fun, Fearless
Fun, Fearless Confessions
26 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Party Crasher
Five of my girlfriends and I were planning
a weekend trip when one of them mass-
texted us about inviting along a guy from
her ofce. It bothered me, so I responded
to the group by pointing out that none of us
even liked that guy. No one wrote anything
backand thats when I realized the guy
was ccd in the group text. Cant wait for
that plane ride. LAURA M., 24
[No. 1]
GUY CONFESSION
Spaghetti
Wasted
I overeat before I go out
so I dont get too drunk.
One night, I had too much
spaghetti for dinner and too
many beers before calling
it a night. My friends found
me by the trail of pasta
vomit that led from the
club to where I was waiting
for a cab. CHRIS A., 22
[No. 6 ]
Scratch
and Sniff
I was walking with a guy when
I rubbed my nose and felt something
weird. He was talking with his back to
me, so I pulled out a mirror and took
a peek. I had a long nose hair poking
out. I tried to pull it but couldnt get
a handle on it, panicked, and tried to
shove the hair back up. He totally
caught me with my nger in my nose.
AMANDA H., 21
[No. 4 ]
IM HAVING SEX WITH
MY MARRIED NEXT-
DOOR NEIGHBOR! ONE
NIGHT WHEN HE WAS
OVER, A BIG GROUP
OF MISSIONARIES
CAME TO MY DOOR
ATTEMPTING TO TEACH
ME ABOUT THEIR
RELIGION. I THINK IT
WAS A SIGN TO
END THINGS.
RACHEL M., 28
5
I accepted one
sexual fry and
took her on a
date the next
day. Weve
been together
five years.
ANDRS P., 33,
banker, from
Chicago, IL
We first met when he was a
bartender. I walked through the bar
and right up to him. I was so
aggressive. I basically harassed him
and tried to feed him fries sexually.
ANNA K., 25, singer/songwriter,
from Grosse Pointe, MI
7
I accidentally
Instad a
friends photo
of me
asleep
and drooling
!
SASHA A., 21
[No. 2 ]
GUY CONFESSION
I dumped a girl
because she didnt
make any noise when
she came. I thought
it was weird!
MITCH W., 26
3
Thats a Wrap
My boyfriend and I went
camping and borrowed my
parents gear. It rained the
second day, so we bailed and left
the gear drying on their porch.
Later, my dad came up to me
and waved a condom wrapper in
my face. Hed found it in
our sleeping bag. Mortifying.
KATIE S., 20
[No. 8 ]
GUY CONFESSION
Words
With
Friends
When one of my female
friends texted my crew about
dinner at a hot new restau-
rant, one of my other friends
asked her how she scored a
reservation. She responded
by saying, Because Im chic.
Not knowing what chic
was, I assumed she meant
because she was a chick.
Well, I thought it was the
perfect time to call out her
snobby ass in front of every-
one and harshly corrected
her in the group text. The joke
was on me when even my
bro-iest guy friend knew what
chic meant. ROBERT L., 24
[No. 13 ]
GUY CONFESSION
My girl roommate
walked in on
me peeing. Wed
just moved in
together.
JASON P., 33
11
My BFF skipped my
b-day, so I tagged
her in all my party pics
to ood her
Facebook feed.
LARA E., 24
My boyfriend and his
brother look so much alike
that once I leaned in and
tried to kiss the wrong one!
My boyfriend just let it
happen. They were cracking
up. I was so embarrassed!
CELIA A., 29, public relations
consultant,
from New York, NY
10
[No. 9]
My best friend growing
up was a boy, and in
high school, I
introduced him to a girl
who became obsessed
with him. But then my
best friend and I fell for
each other and lost our
virginity to each other.
The girl thought
I planned the whole
thing, but I really didnt
mean to!
CHRISTINE S., 25,
journalist, from Billings, MT
12
28
Curtain
Call
I met a hot guy at a bar
one night in college
and went home with him.
Of course he lived in a
frat house. I was feeling
frisky and had the wild
idea to get in the shower
with him. It was going
well until his entire group
of pledge brothers heard
all the noise and rushed
into the bathroom. They
peeled back the shower
curtain, and we both
stood there totally frozen.
They saw me in all my
naked glory. Its easily
my most embarrassing
moment. CHRISSY P., 22
A DUDE REACTS
SHE SHOULD LAUGH
IT OFF AND FORGET
ABOUT IT. IM SURE ALL
THE OTHER DUDES
LEFT THAT BATHROOM
EXTREMELY JEALOUS.
DYLAN
T., 21
[No. 19 ]
HELIN JUNG AND
LAUREN PANARIELLO
Confessions
GUY CONFESSION
I GOT TOO TIPSY AT A
COMPANY PARTY AND
CALLED MY BOSS A
DOUCHE BAG TO THE
BARTENDER. I HAD NO
IDEA MY BOSS HAD
HIRED HIS BROTHERS
CATERING COMPANY
FOR THE EVENT. MY
BOSS QUICKLY FOUND
OUT ABOUT MY
COMMENT. HE STILL
GIVES ME THE COLD
SHOULDER.
MIKE M., 26
18
Once, my boyfriend and
I somehow ended up having
drunken sex in his friends
living room. It was so sloppy, at
one point, I fell down...and saw
my boyfriends friends watching
us from outside the window!
CHLOE K., 20, student, from Seoul, Korea
Once during a tennis match,
I got sick and threw up on the
court. My opponent refused to
replay the point, so I got pissed
and slapped him. I was 12.
ROBIN L., 26, finance professional,
from Strasbourg, France
16
14
Religious
Experience
I was in a religious
service next to my
crush, totally distracted
by him. When everyone
stood as part of the ser-
vice, I stayed seated
watching him. Everyone
knew what was up.
RACHEL T., 23
[No. 17 ]
GUY CONFESSION
I burped
up the
burrito
Id had
for lunch
during
a job
interview.
BRIAN T., 25
[No. 15 ]
WE KNOW YOU HAVE CONFESSIONS TO SHARE....E-MAIL THE DIRTY DETAILS TO
CONFESSIONS@COSMOPOLITAN.COM, OR TWEET YOUR TALES TO @COSMOPOLITAN!
Enjoy these readers doozies, and be glad this wasnt you.
He took me to Whole Foods
and proceeded to show me
how he makes a meal out of
free samples.AMY M., 24
I had dinner with a
guy who was so dread-
fully boring that when
hed turn around or
look at his phone, I had
to mouth I hate you just
to let out my frustration.
LAWSON P., 38
The rst time I slept
with this guy I was dating,
I woke up to nd a guy I
used to date sitting in the
kitchen the next morn-
ing. They were room-
mates. Surprise!
JENNY S., 27
He kissed me and bit my lip
so hard, I was bleeding.DINA P., 35
WORST DATES EVER!
He spent the entire night
whining about his exand
actually asked for my advice
on getting her back! ANNE T., 32
A guy Id been irting
with invited me to a
party. When I got there,
he looked disappointed
and said, I thought
youd bring all your
cute girlfriends.
LAURA M., 24
L.P.
He asked to use
my bathroom, then
used my eyeliner to
write the name of
his frat all over the
walls. Creep.
JESSICA M., 25
He showed up two
hours early to pick me
up. He literally watched
me nish my hair and
makeup before we left.
Awkward. JAIME M., 25
I WAS HOOKING UP WITH
A GUY BEFORE I WENT
ABROAD, AND WHEN I SAID
SOMETHING ABOUT
NOT WANTING TO SLEEP
WITH HIM BEFORE I LEFT
FOR A FEW MONTHS,
HE GOT UP AND SAID, OKAY,
ILL CALL YOU A CAB.
MAGGIE T., 25
He answered a call
in the middle of a
packed movie. People
were shushing us and
everything. NATE S., 26
Our rst date: Zombie
Laser Tag. I couldnt
even see himI was get-
ting shot at by zombies
in the dark. NINA F., 26
Z
Jason Segel,
not doing so
well in
Forgetting
Sarah
Marshall.
WE KNOW YOU HAVE A STORY TO SHARE! TWEET US YOUR WORST DATE EVER
@COSMOPOLITAN, OR E-MAIL IT TO WORSTDATE@COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
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Fun FearlessCelebs
hn
s i
n
llllllllllleeeeess Celebs Fun Fear
atch
e V
n W
im ime
Fun, Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ITALIAN-STYLE
Snooki plays
mini meatball
to JWowws
spaghetti
boob-ognese.
5'7'' 4'8'' SECRET WEAPON
Why hit the gym
when Gwynnie
can t trainer
Tracy Anderson
in her pocket?
5' 5'9''
FLOWER GIRLS
Michelle
Dockery and
Christina
Ricci make a
lovely long- and
short-stemmed
bouquet.
5'8'' 5'1''
CHEST MATES
Watch out,
Vince Vaughn,
Owen Wilson is
in prime motor-
boating zone.
6'5'' 5'11''
SHORT
Friend,
TALL
Friend
Size doesnt matter between
these big and little star pals. these big and little star pals
5'5'' 4'11''
SHINE YA LIGHT
What Adrienne
Bailon lacks
in Rita Oras
height, she
makes up for in
soaring vocals.
BIG DIFF
Shaqs so tall,
his head
didnt t in
Kevin Harts
Instagram of
this pic.
True story.
7'1'' 5'4''
ini meatball
o JWowws
spaghetti
oob-ognese.
n
.
11''
GHT
nne
ks
s
e
r in
als.
GIRL TALK
Lena Dunham
to Taylor Swift:
My mamma-
ries line up with
your ovaries!
5'10'' 5'3''
GOING UP!
Hold the
elevator, Jenna
Dewan-Tatum
needs a ride to
Stacy Keiblers
penthouse pouf.
5'2'' 5'11''
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32
Fun, Fearless Celebs
In his new book
Glamorous by George,
celeb stylist and
Fashion Policeman
George Kotsiopoulos
lays down the law
on how to look like
Angelinawithout
the glam squad. The
secret? Forget trends,
and dress for your
shape. Heres how.
A-LIST
STYLE
for Every
Body Type
Pear Shape
KEY PIECES Dresses
that are tted on top
and A-line on the bot-
tom. Dark pants will
slim your lower half.
STYLING TIP Heels
(literally) elevate your
curves to bombshell
level. There is a
reason you never
see J.Lo in ats!
Athletic
KEY PIECES Bias-cut skirts and
tops with wide straps. Soft, uid
fabrics keep strong bodies from
looking too masculine.
STYLING TIP A bias- cut dress
generally lies at across the
tummy. If you have any bulges
in that area (who doesnt?), then
rely on your BFF: shapewear!

Apple Shape
KEY PIECES Skirts and
dresses with a roomy
or ow-y lower half,
hitting either midthigh
or at the shin. They hide
tummy, rear-end, and
upper-thigh issues.
STYLING TIP Pair with
wedges, platforms, or
stacked heels to balance
out the proportions of
your body.
for E
we
sta
ou
youur body. you
From top
Rebel Wilson,
Adele,
Amber Riley
s Celebbbbbbbbbbbbbbsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
pe
p
ot-
ll
f.
ur
ll
re is a
u never
n ats!
From top
Olivia Wilde,
Jennifer Lopez,
Kim Kardashian
irts and
Soft, uid p
bod
ne.
cut
ros
any
esn
ape
,
dies from
dress
ss the
y bulges
nt?), then
ewear!
From top
Allison Williams,
Jessica Biel,
Julianne Hough
A-LINE SILHOUETTE
DARK PANTS
FITTED TOP
PEPLUM DETAIL
FLOW-Y SKIRT
BIAS-CUT DRESS
WIDE STRAPS
Straight Up and Down
KEY PIECES Peplums create the illusion
of a slender waist and curves. A strong-
shouldered blazer or top does the same
by drawing the eye up and out.
STYLING TIP Avoid dresses without
structure unless they are short. Your legs
are your best asset, so show them off!
C
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.
our best asset, so show them off!
From left
Aubrey Plaza,
Amanda Seyfried,
Emma Watson
CINCHED WAIST
STRONG SHOULDERS
SHIN-LENGTH HEMLINE
PLATFORM HEELS
FEMININE FABRIC
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34 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Alex Pettyfer
C
O
S
M
O
G
U
Y

Your Endless Love character is
a good guy with a shady past. Any
similarities? We both love love.
I love love. He works in a garage and
I work in movies, so thats a bit differ-
ent. But I worked in a garage when
I was 15. I also raced cars. Not profes-
sionally, but thats what I always
wanted to do. If I were in Formula 1,
Id quit actingor make it my B job.
The Magic Mike protg
and Endless Love star
(in theaters February 14)
talks tats and why he
doesnt give a damn
bout his bad reputation.
Youre pretty tatted upany girlfriends
names? No! Thats relationship sui-
cide. I would get my moms name
though. My favorite one is What goes
around comes around on my shoul-
der. Im a big believer in karma, but
90 percent of people say, Isnt that a
Justin Timberlake song? I did a movie
with Justin and told him, Youre a
fucking pain in my ass, mate!
Youre known for being a bad boy
thoughts? People will write what they
want to write, and its a lot easier to
flow the pen negatively than positively.
But Im a boring motherfucker. I dont
drink alcohol. Ive never taken drugs
ever. So I dont go out to nightclubs or
anything. I go to Disneyland, or Ill
rent a go-kart track and go racing.
Diana Ross and Lionel Richies Endless
Love is a karaoke classic. Whats your
go-to jam? Totos Africa or Ill do the
Spice Girls. Ill tell you what I want,
what I really, really want. Do you
know they had a West End show?
I saw it when I was back in England.
Thats metrue bad boy and lover
of the Spice Girls.
Do you believe in soul mates?
I do. Maybe not just one. But I believe that
there are people out there who are made
for you. Its hard to come by nowadays, but
when you do, its something special.
ROSE MARIE WALANO
WANT MORE PETTYFER? DOWNLOAD OUR TABLET EDITION NOW!
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Fun, Fearless Celebs
When I was in high school, I was
really into The Real World: Back
to New York. It was ground-
breaking. I mean, three black peo-
ple in the cast?! That season fea-
tured my favorite reality star of all
time: Coral. She might have come
across as bitchy when edited, but
to me, she simply knew who she
was. She said what I was thinking,
except that I was too afraid to say
what she could easily say out loud.
By the time I got to college, some-
thing had changed. There werent
any Corals on TV anymore. With
the exception of a few anomalies,
the women in reality shows had
been reduced to lunatic chair-
throwers whose air time consisted
of profanity-laced insults. Whether
it was one of the Basketball Wives or
a Real Housewife of wherever, black
women on TV were all exaggerated,
overly dramatic, mildly violent hot
messes. The chair that broke the
bitchs back for me was VH1s Flavor
of Love 2. A contestant (appropri-
ately nicknamed Somethin because
she was somethin else) shat on the
floor. Literally, took a dump on the
floor. Ugh. That was it. I felt like
VH1 had crapped on me, on black
women, on women everywhere.
Sure, most characters on reality
showsregardless of race or gen-
derarent portrayed as pillars of
society. But the problem, as I saw it,
was that the people of color on real-
ity shows were deviating so far from
reality that they were more make-
believe than any fictional character.
It was this total lack of well-
rounded, three-dimensional
females of color that led me, in 2009,
to create Awkward Black Girl, a web
JU
ST SAYIN
G
...
Theres More
to Being Black
Than What You See on TV
Whether theyre throwing chairs or pulling hair, black female
reality stars give ladies a bad name. Issa Rae explains
whats really real and why she changed the game for herself.
3
series based on my life and the lives
of my friends. I was tired of being
the butt of the joke and wanted to
change the landscape. Who is ABG?
She is as real as it gets. Her issues
anxiety about being a bad dancer,
the nervous rush you get from run-
ning into someone cute in a hall-
wayare trivial but universal.
Theres a huge sense of satisfac-
tion that comes from contributing
instead of complaining. And it
turns out, I wasnt alone in
being fed up. Women and men
(Gabrielle Union, Shonda
Rhimes, and Pharrell Wil-
liams, to name a few) began
contacting me, relieved to see
someone to whom they
could finally relate. Last
summer, I began working
on a series for HBO.
We still have a long way to
go where the representation
of women of color is concerned.
But Im happy to see that the
overwhelming imagery of
horrible women on TV is now
tempered by the likes of
Olivia Pope on Scandal, Lt.
Abbie Mills on Sleepy
Hollow, and Mercedes
Jones on Glee. That Octavia
Spencer is rebooting
Murder, She Wrote is
awesome news. Because
for every Somethin,
there should be
no must bea
complex, thought-
ful (if somewhat
awkward) charac-
ter who would
never, ever crap
on a floor.
m run
all-
l.
ac-
uting
it
n
d.
3
3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Coral
Smith on
The Real
World:
Back to
New York.
Some-
thin (aka
Tykeisha
Thomas)
on Flavor
of Love 2.
Writer, actress,
and creator of The
Misadventures
of Awkward Black
Girl, Issa Rae.
Nicole
Beharie
as Lt.
Abbie
Mills on
Sleepy
Hollow.
epy
edes
t Octavia
ng
e is
ecause
n,
-
33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Kerry
Washington
as Olivia
Pope on
Scandal.
Mills on
Sleepy
Hollow.
Amber
Riley as
Mercedes
Jones
on Glee.
FRUSTRATED BY THE PORTRAYAL OF BLACK WOMEN ON TV?
JOIN THE CONVERSATION @COSMOPOLITAN #JUSTSAYING.
T
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(
2
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.

Preferred by women
hands down
*


2
0
1
4

C
O
T
Y

U
S

L
L
C
over those you-know-who polishes.
COMPLETE SALON MANICURE
TM
The proof is in the polish.
see how we out-color the competition at
SallyHansen.com/BattleofTheBottles
#CSMTKO
*Based on a self-assessment of 375 women who had a preference after wearing Revlon
TM
Classic or Essie
TM
nail polish for 10 days. REVLON is a
registered trademark of Revlon Consumer Products Corporation and ESSIE is a registered trademark of LOreal USA Creative, Inc.
Fun, Fearless Celebs
38 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
CROSS-DRESSING
THE LINE
Fun
,
Fearless...Fail!
From wow to WTF, we call the trends like we see em.
TWINNING!
You thought
adult onesies
were badweve
now arrived at
adult twinsies.
Thats right,
twinsies.
FAIL
NYC bar
develops garlic
beer using
fermented black
garlic, kills first-date
make-outs
forever.
FAIL
BEERLY
BELOVED
Tiny twin
sisters hit each
other with their best
shots but succumb to
giggles during a tae
kwon do match.
Cute TKO!
FUN
Autistic
twins Jamie and
Alex Schneider
finish the NYC
marathon together,
warm hearts
everywhere.
FEARLESS
New study
suggests that a
pint of beer a day
can be good
for your health.
Heres
to that!
FUN
B
o
ld
is th
e

p
a
re
n
t w
h
o

sla
p
s a
b
e
a
rd
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rd

B
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th
a
p
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.
F
E
A
R
L
E
S
S
Matt Lauer
as Pamela
Anderson circa
Baywatchdoes
that make Al
Roker David
Hasselhoff?
FUN
a
es
Willie
Robertsons
faceand facial
hairgets
immortalized in
Chia Pet
form.

FUN
DUCK, DUCK
DYNASTY
Christian
group cancels
Willie Robertsons
speaking engagement
after the debut of
Duck Commander
Wines. Didnt Jesus
drink vino?
FAIL
To attract
you
n
g
er
m
em
b
ers, ch
u
rch
e
s
(Th
e P
u
b C
h
u
rch
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Th
eolog
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.
Pet
.
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rc
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p
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ith
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!
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e
n
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la
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b
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F
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A
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e

e
n
!
e
x
y
S
S
S
S
Dudes
turning their gym
shorts into one-
shoulder dresses
yep, its actually a
thing. Groan.
FAIL
L
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cause
death
breath.
HELIN JUNG
2012 ,WVA 10 Hair Care. All 5LJKWV 5HVHUYHG
itsa10haircare.com
A

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NOURISHES HAIR
ADDS SHINE
COLOR PROTECTANT
REPAIRS HAIR
DETANGLES
STOPS BREAKAGE
HEAT PROTECTANT
CONTROLS FRIZZ
IMPROVES SHINE
LOCKS IN MOISTURE
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
1 1
40
Fun, FearlessCelebs
Sexy vs. Skanky
Gross handsy
gropefest
Sweet arm-in-
arm stroll
SKANKY SEXY
Peace and nipple
XXXed
out
Desperate
act
Total
eyeful
Peace and love
Bowling
a XXX
Awesome
show
Just
a peek
Bradley Cooper
and Suki
Waterhouse
Actress
Phoebe Price
and Ojani Noa
Katy
Perry
Jon Gosselin
and friends
Christina
Milian

Zo
Saldana
Porn star
Bonnie Rotten
Paul
Rudd
Actress
Charmane Star
Abbey
Clancy L
E
F
T

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J
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S
.

Shown: Cosmopolitan Ego Elevator Lace Plunge Pushup
Bra & Cosmopolitan Solid Mesh Cheeky Panties
When lingerie ts this perfectly
and looks this erce, youll be your
own Cupid this Valentines Day.
exclusively at
jcp.com/cosmopolitan
Sorry Cupid,
Ive got this.
Fun, Fearless
SHOW
THE
EDITED BY KATIE L. CONNOR
MARKET DIRECTOR: SHIONA TURINI
L
O
V
E
Wear your heart on your
sleeveor skirt or
clutch. With graphics so
irtyfrom smoochy
lips to light-my-re
matchsticksyou can
say how you really feel
without uttering a word.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANNA WOLF
T-shirt, Comme
des Garcons Play,
$120, newyorkdover
streetmarket.com; skirt,
Stella McCartney,
Stella McCartney,
212-255-1556; clutch,
Gucci, gucci.com; love
cuff, C. Wonder, $48,
cwonder.com; heart
bracelet, Zoe Chicco,
$330, zoechicco.com;
love ring, Me + Mi,
$90, meplusmi.com;
bar ring, Alibi NYC,
$78, alibinyc.com;
earrings, Forever 21,
$3.80, forever21.com
F
A
S
H
I
O
N

E
D
I
T
O
R
:

J
A
M
E
S

W
O
R
T
H
I
N
G
T
O
N

D
E
M
O
L
E
T
.

H
A
I
R
:

S
T
A
C
I

C
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I
L
D

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F
A
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F
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R

C
U
T
L
E
R
/
R
E
D
K
E
N
.

M
A
K
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U
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:

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A
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A
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.

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.

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L
:

A
S
H
L
E
Y
/
R
E
D

M
O
D
E
L
S
.

Jessica is wearing New Color Elixir

Creamy Lip Lacquer in Raspberry Rhapsody. 2014 Maybelline LLC.


MAYBE SHES BORN WI TH I T. MAYBE I TS MAYBELLI NE.

maybelline.com
POTENT COLOR EXTRACT
CONCENTRATED BALM
GLASSY SHINE SERUM
THE SECRET POTION?
A TRIO OF CONCENTRATES
UNLEASH THE MAGIC!
FALL UNDER THE SPELL
OF THE ELIXIR EFFECT
HYPER-SATURATED COLOR. ADDICTIVE CUSHIONY FEEL.
THE NEW HYPNOTIC LIP SENSATION.
new
CREAMY LIP LACQUER
In 20 mesmerizing shades.
Fun, Fearless Shopping
46
What
Were Into
This
Month...
Bra, $55,
V-string, $18.50,
merrywidow, $88,
panty, $18.50,
Victorias Secret,
victoriassecret.com
HEAVEN SENT
When Candice Swanepoel isnt working
the runway in a jeweled bra, what does
she do to feel sexy? Its impossible to
feel sexy all the time. I usually throw on
liquid liner or a red lip, she says. A little
Victorias Secret lingerie also helps.
Tote, $198,
handbag, $128,
Juicy Couture,
juicycouture.com
Victoria as Secr Victori rias Secr s Secr cr
totes TALKING
Juicy Coutures Valentines Day
collection, featuring hand-painted
catchphrases by artist Baron Von
Fancy, speaks louder than words.
wear the rainbow
Cast in colorful aluminum, David
Yurmans classic cord cuff gets an edgy
Instagrammable new look.
Bracelets, David
Yurman, $350
each, David Yurman,
212-752-4255
perfect
MATCH
From casual slip-
ons to sexy stilettos,
theres not a single
misstep in blogger
Chiara Ferragnis
(The Blonde Salad)
collaboration with
Steve Madden.
DIGITAL DARLINGS For its latest
hit, Target taps print master and fashion
fave Peter Pilotto and partners with Net-
a-Porter to be sure everyone gets a piece.
t
n
Victorias
Secret Angel
Candice
Swanepoel.
Shoes, The Blonde
Salad x Steve
Madden, $129,
stevemadden.com
Cropped sweater, $29.99, skirt, $34.99,
Peter Pilotto for Target, target.com

an edgy
B
E
N
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S
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V
A
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T
/
R
J
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N
N
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T
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R
E
P
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S
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N
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S
.

C
L
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C
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W
I
S
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F
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O
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C
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N
T
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R
:

C
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U
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T
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S
Y

V
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T
O
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I
A

S

S
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C
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;

M
A
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I
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T
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P
H
O
T
O
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P
E
T
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R

P
I
L
O
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T
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THE OFFICIAL NAIL COLOR OF
MERCEDES-BENZ FASHION WEEK IN NEW YORK.
CHIP
-
FREE
COLOR,
STRAIGHT
FROM M THE
SHOWS.
48 SHADES IN ALL. 8
TRENDING NOW
PINK
EMBRACE
FUCHSIA
FEVER
PINK
SPLATTER
LUST
FOR LILAC
MAUVE IN
MANHATTAN
DEEP IN
VIOLET
M A Y B E S H E S B O R N W I T H I T . M A Y B E I T S M A Y B E L L I N E.

maybelline.com
Emily is wearing Color Show

Nail Lacquer in Deep In Violet and Fuchsia Fever. 2014 Maybelline LLC.
Fun, Fearless Shopping
48 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Cosmos fashion director Aya Kanai
fixes your fashion problems
and shares her new obsessions.
FASHION Qs? TWEET @COSMOPOLITAN #ASKAYA,
OR E-MAIL ASKAYA@COSMOPOLITAN.COM.

Personally, I am obsessed with the blazer-


meets-cape combo. It adds a bit of drama to an
otherwise businesslike shape. I also love this
rainproof option. It comes with a cute polka-dot
vest that peeks through. Capes are such a fun
addition to your outerwear wardrobe. Props to
you for being experimentalkeep it up!

Heels in the winter dont need to feel treacherous.


Make sure to look for a pair that has a solid rubber
base with treads, a substantial stacked heel, and
good ankle support.

Ask Aya
The winter slush on the
ground is super slippery and
annoying, but I dont want
to compromise looking cute
in my heels. What kind of
footwear should I go for?
ANDREA GARCIA, 26
For a full-figured gal,
whats the perfect outfit
to look hot for a girls
night out? CARLA JONES, 30

A colored lace dress


is a wardrobe staple.
Think about one
with a red underlay.
Accessorize it with
gold jewelry and your
look will be sleek and
understated but still
super sexy.

I would like to get my


boyfriend a V-Day gift. Whats
the best way to say I love
you thats not me in my
underwear? JESSICA NETTER, 29

Cool shades are a good way to show you care.


A carabiner for his keys (and keys to your place)
means he cant go anywhere without something
that reminds him of you. Last, portable speakers
small enough to fit in your back pocketbut loud
enough to drown out the noise of your, ahem,
super-fun nightare a gift you can both enjoy.

I want to invest in a chic cape


that is weatherproof and easy
to mix-and-match with basics.
Any suggestions? VENUS WONG, 21
From left, Aldo, $160, aldoshoes.com;
Guess, $169, Guess
(From left) cape, Terra New York, $385, Brooklyn Fox,
718-599-1555; cape, DKNY, $695, shopbop.com;
blouse, Club Monaco, $139.50, clubmonaco.com
Dress, Tadashi Shoji, $348,
shop.tadashishoji.com; rings,
Meredith Hahn, $70 each,
meredithhahn.com
Rebel
Wilson
Carabiner, Coach, $68, coach.com;
speaker, Jambox by Jawbone,
$179.99, store.jawbone.com; sunglasses,
Giorgio Armani, $300, Sunglass Hut
Available in
sizes 0 to 16!
B
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N
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O
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D
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T
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/
S
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U
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F
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:

C
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U
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S
Y

A
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A

K
A
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A
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;

D
U
D
L
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Y

S
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H
/
C
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A
L

P
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U
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S
.
AVAI L ABLE AT ULTA AND ULTA. COM
GUESS GIRL & NEW GUESS GIRL BELLE
FRAGRANCES FOR WOMEN
50 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Fun, Fearless Shoooooooooooooooooppingg
BUY IT
1Bralet, $49, thong, $42, Eberjey, eberjey.com
2Thongs, Aerie, $7.50 each, aerie.com 3Chemise,
Victorias Secret, $48, victoriassecret.com 4Bra,
$50, panty, $22, Parfait, barenecessities.com 5 Bra,
$36, panty, $14, Jessica Simpson Collection, Lord
and Taylor 6Bra, $36, thong, $14, panty, $14,
Jessica Simpson Collection, Lord and Taylor
7Bodysuit, American Apparel, $38, american
apparel.net 8Bra, Fredericks of Hollywood, $10,
fredericks.com 9Bra, $39, panty, $19, Marielle
Collection by Felina Lingerie, designerintimates
.com 10Bra, $36, panty, $16, Topshop, topshop.com
1
2
3
4
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5
6
7
8
9
10
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Tacori.com MICHAEL C. FINA New York, NY 212 557 2500 | JANINAS JEWELLERS Grande Prairie, AB 855 455 5655 | HARLINGS JEWELLERS Vancouver, BC 604 687 1944
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GOLDEN NUGGET JEWELERS Philadelphia, PA 215 925 2777 | MERVIS DIAMOND IMPORTERS Tysons Corner, VA/Washington, DC/Rockville, MD mervisdiamond.com
CHARLESTON ALEXANDER DIAMOND IMPORTERS Bethesda, MD/Falls Church, VA 800 419 GEMS | DIAMONDS DIRECT RICHMOND Glen Allen, VA 804 967 0500
REEDS JEWELERS Columbia, Baltimore, Hanover, MD 877 406 3266 | LUCINDA JEWELLERS Burnaby, Vancouver, BC 604 893 8829 | RODAN JEWELLERS Burnaby, BC 604 298 1880
RUMANOFFS FINE JEWELRY Hamden, CT 203 230 1199 | HANNOUSH JEWELERS Danbury, CT 203 791 0793 | SILVA BROTHERS N. Dartmouth, MA 508 979 4686
APPELTS DIAMONDS Winnipeg, MB 204 284 6944 | EDWARD ARTHUR JEWELERS Columbia, MD 410 730 1520 | ENGLEWOOD JEWELERS Englewood, NJ 201 568 2877
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BENARI JEWELERS Exton, Newtown Square, PA 866 363 0808 | GMG JEWELLERS Saskatoon, SK 866 464 7464 | LONG JEWELERS Virginia Beach, VA 757 498 1186
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Fun, FearlessShop
52 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
INSIDERS PICKS
Were love-struck by
these dream-gift picks from
fashions coolest chicks.
XOXO
Jewelry
1
STEPHANIE MARK
COFOUNDER,
THECOVETEUR.COM
2
PIPPA LORD
FOUNDER,
SOUSSTYLE.COM
3
LEANDRA MEDINE
FOUNDER,
MANREPELLER.COM
4
JUNE AMBROSE
CELEBRITY STYLIST
AND DESIGNER
5
LEIGH LEZARK
DJ
6
KATHY LEE
COSMOS SENIOR
ACCESSORIES EDITOR
7
KATE DAVIDSON HUDSON
COFOUNDER AND CEO,
EDITORIALIST.COM
What makes this spider
ring great is that its
large enough to be
a statement but dainty
enough to wear every day.
3
Id dress down
these earrings for the
day with a comfy sweater
and leather pants.
1
Blue represents inspiration,
sincerity, and spirituality
everything I want out of love.
4
This Chanel bracelet
is a classic any
girl can wear forever.
5
I love this piece as
a festive spin on a
classically romantic
strand of pearls.
7
Hoops are timeless,
depending on size. These
are perfect for 2014.
6
I love this ring because
its sexy and ferocious. Its
ladylike with bite.
2
the experts
Necklace, Tom Binns
Design, Tom Binns
Megastore, 917-475-1412
Earrings, Effy, Macys
Bracelet, Chanel,
Chanel Boutiques
Ring, Erickson Beamon Rocks,
$28, Bonton stores
Ring, Khai Khai Jewelry,
khaikhaijewelry.com
Ring, Nektar De Stagni, $495,
nektardestagni.com
Earrings, Bauble Bar,
$34, baublebar.com
pinnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
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2014 Kao USA Inc.
BEGINS WITH SHEA
6X MORE RADIANCE,
SHEEN AND HYDRATION.
j ergens.com/shea
JERGENS SHEA BEAUTY OIL
After conditioning your skin
with pure African Shea Butter
moisturizers, apply our new
Jergens Shea Beauty Oil for
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hydration. Making your skin
your most stunning feature.
T HE BE AUT I F UL DI F F E RE NCE
Four
Fab
Looks
Whether youre in the mood
for something hot and spicy or
sporty and sweet, we have
the looks to satisfy your style
cravings. Here, blogger
Alexandra Spencer of 4th and
Bleeker serves up the sexy.
Wear to your taste.
FASHION EDITOR: JAMES WORTHINGTON DEMOLET
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANNA WOLF
look hot tonight
Glow Up
Avoid the clash of pale
winter skin against
red by applying bronzer
to arms and legs.
Dress, Parker, $308, parkerny.com;
shoes, Giuseppe Zanotti Design,
$650, Giuseppe Zanotti Design
Boutiques; clutch, Vince Camuto,
$178, vincecamuto.com; cuff,
Jules Smith, $59, shopbop.com;
ring, Spencers own
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Fun, FearlessShopping
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 55
LRD: Little Red Dress
Meet the LBDs Sriracha-hot sister. Peekaboo details like lace and mesh overlays make long-sleeve
frocks seem a little naughty. Pair with thin-strapped stiletto sandals for a look thats smokin.
Graphic Appeal
Symmetrical patterns and stripes on body-con silhouettes
deliver a sporty flare that inspires action on the dance floor.
Clutches 1 Loft, $49.50,
loft.com 2 Material Girl,
$38, Macys Dresses
1 Rachel Roy, $368,
rachelroy.com 2 Bailey
44, $167, bailey44.com
Dresses 1 ASOS, $134, asos.com 2 Jessica Simpson Collection, $128, Dillards 3 Catherine Malandrino, $295, Bloomingdales 4 Rachel Comey, $644,
shoplesnouvelles.com Shoes 1 Tibi, $375, piperlime.com 2 Express, $79.90, express.com 3 Gianvito Rossi, Coltori Miami, 786-517-1330 4 Bebe, $129, bebe.com
Dress, Ohne
Titel, $550,
Barneys;
shoes, Brian
Atwood,
Brian Atwood,
212-415-4739;
purse, Juicy
Couture, $98,
juicycouture
.com; ear
cuff, Foreign
Exchange, $9,
feclothing
.com; bracelet,
Tacori, tacori
.com; rings,
Spencers own
1
1
2
2
3
3
4
4
1 2
1
2
Available
in sizes
0 to 16!
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56 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Gold Finish
Metallic minis and pencil skirts topped with loose-fit
silk button-downs transition from serious business
to after-hours shenanigans with the greatest of ease.
1 Blouse, Necessary Clothing, $19.99,
necessaryclothing.com 2 Bracelet,
C. Wonder, $68, cwonder.com 3 Skirt,
Jonathan Simkhai, $465, net-a-porter
.com 4 Clutch, Shiraleah, $65, shiraleah
.com 5 Shoes, The Blonde Salad x
Steve Madden, $159, stevemadden.com
Shirts
1 Foreign
Exchange, $27,
feclothing.com
2 XOXO, $49,
macys.com 3 Old
Navy, $29.94,
Old Navy stores
Skirts
1 Joe Fresh,
$39, Joe Fresh,
212-219-2850
2 Lush Clothing,
$44, lulus.com
3 Rachel Rachel
Roy, $99,
rachelroy.com
Blouse, Zara,
$59.90, zara
.com; skirt, DKNY,
$335, Macys;
shoes, Victorias
Secret, $128,
victoriassecret
.com; bag,
Rebecca Minkoff,
$325, shopbop
.com; bracelet,
Coach, $248,
coach.com
Let It Loose
Tousle
locks with
a shimmer-
spiked serum
for hair that
glistens.
put it together
1
1
2
2
3
3
4
1
2
3
5
4
2 3 1
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3
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60 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Badass
Caged gladiator heels, moto
jackets, and crop tops add dangerous
edge to seductive skirts slit up the
side ormost daringin the middle.
Under Wraps
Avoid a
TMZ-worthy
flashing by
wearing
full-coverage
undies.
Jacket, Yigal
Azroul, yigal-
azrouel.com; crop top,
T by Alexander Wang,
$225, alexanderwang
.com; skirt, ASOS,
$81, asos.com; shoes,
BCBGeneration,
$125, bcbgeneration
.com; clutch, Banana
Republic, $79.50,
bananarepublic.com;
choker, Orly Genger
by Jaclyn Mayer,
jaclynmayer.com;
rings, Jules Smith,
$65 for set of 5,
shopbop.com
Skirts
1 Finders Keepers
the Label, $135,
Neiman Marcus
2 Missguided,
$32.50, miss
guidedus.com
3 Pixie Market, $92,
pixiemarket.com
Shoes
1 Stuart Weitzman,
$475, stuart
weitzman.com
2 GoJane, $41.50,
gojane.com
3 Rachel Roy, $275,
rachelroy.com
Fun, FearlessShopping
1 Jacket, W118 by
Walter Baker, $198,
walterbaker.com
2 Necklace, Bebe,
$29, bebe.com
3 Bustier top,
Marciano, $128,
marciano.com
4 Skirt, Boohoo.com,
$20, boohoo.com
5 Pouch, Ann Taylor,
$48, anntaylor.com
6 Shoes, Belle by
Sigerson Morrison,
$275, zappos.com
put it together
1
1
2
2
3
3
1
2
3
4
5
6
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, li
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, a
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, t
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, i
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1 Stila Magnificent Metals Foil Finish Eye Shadow
in Metallic Dusty Rose, $32, Sephora 2 Yves Saint
Laurent Rouge Pur Couture in No. 12 Le Blanc,
$34, yslbeautyus.com 3 Giorgio Armani Nail
Lacquer in Kaleidoscope, $20, giorgioarmani
beauty.com 4 Pacific Illusions Mineral Shimmer
Lip Gloss in Harbor Lights, $28, pacificillusions.com
5 Laura Mercier Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Mint
Snow, $26, lauramercier.com 6 CoverGirl Bomb-
shell Shine Shadow in Ice Queen, $7, drugstores
7 Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow in
Surf, $22, bobbibrown.com 8 Butter London Nail
Lacquer in Leccy, $15, butterlondon.com 9 Este
Lauder Pure Color Instant Intense Eye Shadow
Trio in Steel Lilacs, $36, esteelauder.com
P
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Fun, Fearless
EDITED BY LEAH WYAR
PHOTOGRAPHED BY
JEFFREY WESTBROOK
Fun, Fearless Beauty
64 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
$10,Tops!
Budget-friendly buys that make you
look (and feel) like a million bucks
LONI ALBERT
BEST BUDS
Rich pigments in
garden-inspired
hues work as
shadow and liner.
Jane Eye Shadow
in Hyacinth, Lilac,
and Rosy Posy, $8
each, ulta.com
FEELING
KNOTTY?
Coat strands with
conditioner (this
has argan oil and
keratin), then
comb through.
Goody Gelous Grips Rake
Comb, $5.47, Walmart;
Organix Keratin Oil
Conditioner, $8, drugstores
BARE
ESSENTIAL
Slather on after
a shower for
petal-soft, floral-
scented skin.
Bodycology Truly
Yours Moisturizing
Cream, $4, Walmart
BLINK BIG
Boost your
fringe with
volumizing,
clump-free
mascara,
spiked with
lash-growing
serum.
Revlon Lash
Potion by Grow
Luscious
Mascara, $8,
drugstores
LIP LUST
This gloss is as nourishing
as the cult-fave beeswax
balmjust sexier.
Burts Bees 100% Natural Lip
Glosses, $9, drugstores
EYE MUST Packed with pigment-correcting
Haloxyl, this hides and treats dark circles in one step.
Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circles Treatment
Concealer, $10, drugstores
G
ur
h
g,
ee
a,
h
ng ng
m.
sh
w
us
8,
es
BACK TO THE
FUCHSIA
A metallic finish
makes this flirty
hue more fierce.
CoverGirl Outlast Stay
Brilliant Nail Gloss
in Bombshell, $5.49,
drugstores
ke
FACE TIME
Unplugs pores,
clears up a
breakout, and
softens rough
skinall in
10 minutes!
Formula 10.0.06
Pores Be Pure
Skin-Clarifying
Mask, $6, ulta.com
r.
8
FA FF C
Un
cl
b
J
O
N
P
A
T
E
R
S
O
N
/
S
T
U
D
I
O
D
New St. Ives Fresh Hydration Lotion Spray
Made with 100% natural moisturizers
*
, new St. Ives Fresh Hydration Lotion Spray
transforms skin from dry and dull to silky soft without that heavy lotion feel.
Welcome to freshly moisturized skin. Welcome to St. Ives.
Fun, Fearless Beauty
66 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
GOT A BEAUTY Q? TWEET @COSMOPOLITAN #ASKLEAH,
OR E-MAIL ASKLEAH@COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
Ask
Leah
Cosmos beauty director answers your
most burning Qsin 20 words or less!
Is it too soon for bright, spring
makeup? Im bored! FELICE TRINH, 24

Im already rocking poppy velvet-matte lips. The


unshiny, almost fuzzy texture is winter-appropriate
and on-trend for spring.

Urban Armour Skin


Tone Bandages, $1.49
for 30, amazon.com
I hate how obvious
bandages look on
my dark skin. Any
options?
CHELSEA CHEATHAM, 23

Multitonal bandages,
like these from Urban Armour,
are nally available. Or try
Band-Aid Clear Strips ($2.99
for 30, drugstore.com).

most

u
an
How can I minimize
my psoriasis without
expensive creams
or pills? KATIE SWIMLEY, 21

The cheap
secret: dandruff
shampoo (like
Neutrogena T/Gel,
$6.29, drugstores).
Use it as body
wash to exfoli-
ate, then apply
anti-inammatory
lotion.

SOURCE: JOSHUA ZEICHNER, MD,


A NEW YORK DERMATOLOGIST
I want to get my new BF a
cologne for V Day. Whats
cool this year? GINA QUARTAROLO, 22

It depends on your guys tasteand your


budget. Here are my faves.

y faves.
IF HES
EDGY
John Varvatos
Artisan Acqua, $84,
macys.com;
Spicy, woody
undertones give this
a dude-in-a-leather-
jacket vibe. Hot!
IF HES
SPORTY
Guess Night, $39; guess.com;
Created by Francis Kurkdjian
(one of the best perfumers
in the biz!), this is clean-and-
cool at its best.
IF HES
CLASSIC
Bleu de Chanel,
$62, chanel.com;
The mix of citrus
and smoky notes
is as addictive
to smell as his
butter-soft tees
are to wear.
our
ess!
ght, spring
FELICE TRINH, 24
elvet-matte lips. The
ter-appropriate
I want to get
for
I love my long
hair, but its dull.
What else
besides shine
spray, which
makes my hair
greasy, should
I use?
SHANNON FITZGERALD, 21

Like concealer, shine


spray hides but doesnt
x the issue. Deep
conditioning ampoules
do both. Use them twice
a week.

Pantene
Advanced+
Keratin Repair
60-Second Ther-
apy Ampoules,
$13, drugstores
Mirabella La La Lips Velvet
Lip Pencils in Rose and
Sweet, $23, mirabella.com
i
MAC Retro Matte
Lipstick in Flat-
Out Fabulous
and Relentlessly
Red, $15, mac
cosmetics.com
Avne XeraCalm A.D
Lipid-Replenishing
Cream, $32, aveneusa
.com, soothes hot spots. J
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Fun, Feaarrless Beauty
HAIR
From super-easy
styling tricks to
game-changing
cuts and nutrient-
rich foods, consider
this your one-stop
shop to having the
hair you always
wanted but never
knew how to get.
BY NICOLE CATANESE
d
i
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i
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u
p
!
sexier
LONGER,
THICKER,
FLIP TO PAGE 72!
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2014 LOral USA, Inc.
BOOST IT
HIGH LIFT CREATION SPRAY
The professional-grade formula for instant volume
and super high lift for an astonishing 24 hours.
NEW
FFFuunn, FFeearrlleessss Beeaauuttyy
MANE WISH
LONGER
HAIR
Remember Rapunzel?
Once her braid was long
enough, she tossed it
down to the prince and
girl was outta there.
Today, shed be in trouble.
Between dye jobs, stress,
and styling, growing hair
can be a beyotch. To the
rescue: these accelera-
tors and illusionist tricks.
In-Shower Secret
Shampoo matters! Hair folli-
cles are only 1.25 mm below
the surface of the scalp, so
cleansing ingredients really
can reach them, says
Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips, a
hair scientist at the Philip
Kingsley Trichological Clinic,
in New York. Look for
formulas enriched with
vitamins E and B5, zinc, iron,
and copperthey increase
keratin production, the
building block of hair.
72 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Game-Changing
Treatment
Instead of having your stylist
trim ratty ends, find one who
offers the Brazilian Blowout
Professional Split-End Repair
(about $25, brazilianblowout
.com). Amino acids and sea-
weed extracts bond tattered
fibers (like a liquid Band-Aid)
for up to a month.
No-Fail Styling
Trick
Ditch the round brush. The
barrel curls hair under or out,
creating the look of shorter
strands, says NYC stylist
Nunzio Saviano. Instead, use a
paddle brush. It helps ends lie
flat, so they look longer.
Cure-All Cut
Opt for a blunt style with either
full or sideswept bangs. Alone,
the crisp ends create an
elong ated effect, but the con-
trast between your fringe line
and your ends ampli fies the
effect, says Saviano.
Right Hue for You
Hair thats slightly deeper at
the roots and lighter at the
ends not only looks on-trend
but also creates the illusion of
length, says colorist Charles
Baker Strahan.
MANE WISH
THICKER
HAIR
Precious few are born
with luscious, shampoo-
ad hair. Steal these tricks
and transform fine, limp
strands into sexy volume.
In-Shower Secret
The same ingredients that
make your skin amazing can
work wonders with your
hair, says Dennis Gross, MD,
a dermatologist in New York
City. Two of his top picks:
peptides, which stimulate
hair growth, and salicylic
acid, which sloughs the
scalp, so debris doesnt block
follicles. (Find both in Dr. Den-
nis Gross Root Resilience
Strengthening Shampoo,
$38, sephora.com.)
Game-Changing
Treatment
Theres fine hair, and theres
thinning haira condition
that affects a whopping 30
million women in the U.S. The
only FDA-approved drug for
treating it is Minoxidil, once
found only in Rogaine but
now in Pantene Expert Hair
Regrowth Treatment (right).
It preserves the hair you have
and helps spur new growth.
No-Fail Styling
Trick
Dry shampoo and volumizer
are nonnegotiables, says
Baker Strahan, who swears
by a cocktail of Herbal
Essences Naked Volume Dry
Shampoo and Volumizing
Souffl ($5 each, drugstores).
They temp o rarily increase
the width of strands plus help
them stand up at the root.
Cure-All Cut
A cutspecifically one that
involves long layers as well
as a few around the face
is actually key to a fuller look.
Layers create a stacked
effect, allowing more air and
movement and therefore full-
ness between sections, says
celeb stylist Adir Abergel.
Right Hue for You
Fake natural-born thickness
with thin highlights. Bleach
causes individual strands
to expand, so they feel and
look thicker, says Baker
Strahan. The mix of light
and dark pieces also creates
more depthkey to the full-
body look. T
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Hair is the second-
fastest growing tissue
in your body, so
it requires a lot of
energy, says
Samantha Lynch,
a dietitian in NYC.
Our healthy-hair-day
diet will give you
every advantage.
MANE
MENU
Oats are rich in iron, which
carries oxygen to the
follicles. (So vital: Iron-
deficiency is one of the top
reasons for nongenetic hair
loss.) Vitamin C in berries
increases iron absorption.
BREAKFAST
Strawberries Oatmeal
The spinach is full of iron,
and the chicken is pure
protein. Total hair heaven.
LUNCH
Spinach salad Grilled chicken
The veggies supply vitamin
A, which helps maintain
scalp health, while hummus
is chock-full of iron.
SNACK
Hummus Carrots
Salmon has vitamin D,
which has been linked to
hair growth. And broccoli?
Its a total iron powerhouse.
DINNER
Broccoli Salmon
WASH,
TREAT,
REPEAT
Souped-up stylers meant
to plump, preserve, even
give hair a growth spurt
1 Mighty Mist
A daily vitamin for your scalp.
Phylia [de M.] Connect Treatment
for Follicles, Scalp, and Hair, $60,
phylia.com
2 Grow On
An FDA-approved way to treat
thinning strands.
Pantene Expert Minoxidil Hair
Regrowth Treatment for Women,
$22.99, drugstores
3 Pure Refreshment
Gives hair a fresh, fluffy look.
Orlando Pita Revive Instant Boost
Dry Shampoo, $16.99 for two, Costco
4 Tough Stuff
Peptides beef up weak strands.
Neutrogena Triple Repair
Shampoo, $6.99, drugstores
5 Moisture Surge
Revives dry, brittle hair.
Oribe Signature Moisture Masque,
$59, oribe.com
6 Root Boost
Oomph in a bottle.
Living Proof Full Root Lifting
Hairspray, $24, sephora.com
7 Plumping Pods
This in-shower treatment
plumps up hair for five washes.
LOral Paris Volume Filler Fiber
Ampoules, $6.99, drugstores
1
4
5
the ROYAL treatment
Want hair like this? Heres how to style and eateven cheat!your way to a princess-worthy do.
6
Best Sew-Ins
Indique Pure Wavy
Extensions ($159 to $330 per
piece, indiquehair.com)
For instant gratification, its
all about extensions. Cosmo
editors swear by this hair.
Best Clip-Ins
Hair2Wear Christie
Brinkley 16'' Hair
Extension ($49, hair2wear.com)
Best Innovation
Halo Couture
Extensions ($300 to $540,
halocouture.com)

Teeny clips at the base of


these pieces make getting
thicker, fuller hair a 10-second
process. Even better? Not one
person thinks my hair is fake!
LONI ALBERT,
ASSOCIATE BEAUTY EDITOR

Locks of hair hang from


an ultrathin, halolike wire that
you hide under your top layer
of hair. Its as easy as wearing
a headband.
LEAH WYAR,
BEAUTY DIRECTOR

My stylist sews these


high-grade human hair exten-
sions close to my roots, then I
can wash and heat-style them
while protecting my own hair.
SHIONA L. TURINI,
FASHION MARKET DIRECTOR
FAUX REAL
2
3
7
2
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Fun, Fearless Beauty
What
Were Into
This
Month...
Member of the Tarte
Cheek Stain cult?
The same flattering
hues are now available
as lip tints (infused
with shea butter and
peppermint and
wrapped up in pretty
patterns), making
it easy to rock the
monochromatic
cheek-and-lip look that
ruled spring runways.
Tarte LipSurgence Power Pigment,
$24 each, tarte.com
TINTS,
TAKE TWO
NEXT-GENERATION GEL
Taking the cure out of gel manicure:
LOrals three-step (primer, color, top-
coat) system. The rubber-silicone reaction
hardens in seconds and creates the same
crazy-shiny color for two weeksminus the
annoying bulbs and UV business.
Infused with lemon, green tea,
and muskand peppered with
designer Alber Elbazs iconic
illustrationsthe latest Lanvin
scent is sassy, inside and out.
Calling all Cosmo girls!
Our favorite hue: Fearless, of course!
Motor
Mouth
Kiss with flake-
free confidence
come February
14 with this: a
power brush for
chapped lips.
HAIR PAINT
Rad hair color (see also: Kelly
Osbourne) is finally DIYable, thanks
to Vidal Sassoons street-style-
inspired collection of bold dyes (lilac,
fiery red, bluish-black, and more)
that last an impressive eight weeks.
Vidal Sassoon Pro Series Permanent
At-Home Color Kit, $9, drugstores
LOral Paris
Extraordinaire
Gel-Lacque Nail
1-2-3 Kit, $12.99,
drugstores
G
1-
drug
Bliss Fabulips
Pout-o-Matic,
$48, blissworld.com
WE


LANVIN
Lanvin clat
dArpge, $75,
Nordstrom
J
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S
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singer, songwriter
JANELLE MONE

2
0
1
3

P
&
G
outlast

stay brilliant nail gloss


lipperfection
COVERGIRL
be your own shade of
brilliant!
Janelles nails look brilliant in Ever Reddy #175.
Her lips are perfection in Hot #305.
from lips to tips,
COVERGIRL gets colorful!
See what makes COVERGIRL
Easy Breezy Better
at youtube.com/covergirl
Fun, Fearless Beauty
76 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
to start
Create a naturally flawless complexion
with a BB or CC creamthey even out
your skin without looking masklike. Let
it dry for two minutes, then dust translu-
cent powder all over to set the base and
preempt shine (nerves bring on sweat).
next up
The makeup equivalent to paying
attention to detail: brow grooming!
Our steps, below, make it easy to enhance
and perfect yours.
Your rsum glows. Youre prepped and ready. Now its time to land the job. Tim Quinn, makeup
artist for Giorgio Armani Beauty, offers the secrets to looking perfectly polished and professional.
1. Comb brows in an upward diagonal
direction toward temples with a clean
mascara wand or brow brush.
2. Using a pencil two shades lighter than your
hair color, draw a soft, fluid line across lower
brows to define their natural shape. Make
sure brows look even on both sides.
3. Fill in sparse areas with matching brow
powder (its more real-looking than pencil),
paying particular attention to the tail, an
often sparse area.
ROCK THE POWER BROW
GETTING READY
SHAPE DEFINE FILL
1
2
1
2
almost done
Save bright shadow for night. Instead,
choose a neutral (beige if youre fair to
medium or bronze for darker skin). Swipe
it across your lid, stopping at the crease.
Then run liquid liner (it looks cleanest)
across upper lids. Finish with mascara.
Take-Charge Makeup
PHOTOGRAPHED BY PERRY HAGOPIAN
almost do
S bri ht h
lm
1
2
3
1 CoverGirl Professional Mascara in Black-Brown,
$5.99, drugstores 2 Giorgio Armani Maestro
Liquid Eyeliner, $31, giorgioarmanibeauty.com
3 Iman Luxury Eye Shadow in Nutmeg, $8, Target
1 Giorgio Armani Eyebrow Defining Pencil, $29,
giorgioarmanibeauty.com 2 Clinique Brow Shaper in
Charcoaled, $16, clinique.com
BY LONI ALBERT
1 Giorgio Armani Luminessence CC Cream, $50,
giorgioarmanibeauty.com 2 Giorgio Armani Micro-fil
Loose Powder, $49, giorgioarmanibeauty.com
finishing touches
Dust rose-toned blush from apples to temples, then buff color with a clean makeup sponge to
diffuse it. Finish with a coat of lipstickchoose a shade that closely mimics your natural lip color
and blot for a stainlike effect.
1
2
Always
pack oil-
blotting sheets
to nix shine
before your
meeting.
(Never let them
see you sweat!)
1 Giorgio Armani Rouge Ecstasy Lipstick in Milano, $34, giorgioarmanibeauty.com 2 E.l.f. Blush in Berry Merry, $3, eyeslipsface.com
Handshake
MAINTENANCE
Nail your next interview
with a manicure that
makes sense for the job.
Here, ve trendy but still
professional-looking
polishes (think of them
as the new neutrals) that
work for the most conser-
vative to creative gigs.
CREATIVE
M
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N
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D
.
Sonia Kashuk Nail
Polish in Nudist 11,
$4.79, Target
Ciate Nail Polish in
Fade to Greige,
$15, nordstrom.com
Zoya Nail Polish in
Purity, $9, zoya.com
Topshop Nail
Polish in Eclipse,
$10, nordstrom.com
Essie Nail Polish
in After School
Boy Blazer,
$8, essie.com
CONSERVATIVE
SEE ASSOCIATE BEAUTY EDITOR LONI ALBERTS STEP-BY-STEP VIDEO TUTORIAL FOR DOING
INTERVIEW MAKEUP EXCLUSIVELY ON COSMOS TABLET EDITION. DOWNLOAD ASAP! FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 77
Fun, Fear rrrllleesss BBeauty
Dolce &
Gabbana
Known for fragrances that drip with sex appeal,
D&G offers a softer side to seduction with
Dolcetheir first foray into delicate, ultra-
feminine florals. Cosmo got the exclusive scoop.
SPOTLIGHT ON
BY LEAH WYAR
scoop.
YAR YAR
It complements springs hottest trend.
All about owery prints on spring runways, Dolce & Gabbana
leads the romantic charge. A feminine
perfume is the perfect nishing touch to the look.
The secret ingredient: a scentless flower.
Most varieties of white amaryllis (below), the key note, lack a natural
aroma, but scent scientists found a rare species in South Africa that,
during a short owering period, puts off a rich aroma.
It fuses tradition with technology.
In addition to taking a classic perfume-making approach (distilling
plant oils), perfumers use a technology called Headspace, which
preserves the amaryllis. In the lab, the ower is isolated, and
sensors ID the exact size and weight of its aroma molecules. A
replica is made without harming the actual plant.
Its all about Dolcethe designer.
The word dolce may mean sweet in Italian (a nod to its slightly
innocent vibe), but its also the last name of Domenico, who was
born in Sicily and shot the ad campaign. Viva la passion!
78
al


The South African white
amaryllis has never been used
in the history of perfumes.


STEFANO GABBANA
DESIGNERS DOMENICO DOLCE
AND STEFANO GABBANA
White water lily
Dolce by Dolce
& Gabbana, $70,
saks.com
White amaryllis
The Temple of Apollo
The Duomo
The soft scent of
neroli comes from
the orange tree.
Marzipan buds
(a staple in Sicilian sweets)
inspired the cap.
The Muse
No stranger to D & G
runway shows, Kate
King (see more of
herin orals!
on page 158) rocked
lace for the
latest campaign.
The Bouquet
A mix of neroli,
water lily, and white
amaryllis creates
a sheer oral, says
Dolce & Gabbana
fragrance expert
Sumit Bhasin.
Its airynot
overpowering.
The Inspiration
Like the perfume,
Sicily marries the old
(ancient ruins and
architecture, like these
in Ortigia) and the new.
C
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AgeDefy
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR COLOR.
AND TAKE
**
*vs. untreated hair 2014 P&G
#AgeDefy
FOLLOW CLAIROL
AAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD D AA VVVVVVVVA VA VA VA VA VAA A VA VVA VV NNC NC NC NC NC NC NC NCCEEEEEEEEEED EE Color System targets
resistant grays for 100% coverage.
EEEEEEEEEEEX XXXX EEE CL CL CL CL CL CL CCLLLUS UUS UUUUSS US U IV V VVVVEEEEEE Smoothing Pre-treatment.
PO PO PPO POOOO OOO OOOOOO OO OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE WWWW RRRE EEDDD with Pro-V Colorseal conditioner.
Lustrous, radiant color.
NEW
Bored with your hair? Get some fresh (and sexy) inspiration from this mega
4 Milkmaid
Braids
Like Heidis, only hotter!
BOHO BABE
Fishtail two side
ponies, gently pull
them apart to plump
them, and pin them to
the top of your head.
DREAM
WEAVER
Work a ribbon into
a French braid
that leads into a
messy bun.
HAIR HEADBAND
Pin two loose braids along your
hairline. Tendrils, welcome.
new things
TO DO
with
YOUR
BELLA
THORNE
VANESSA
HUDGENS
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Sexy HAIR Special

SO CENTERED
Make a middle part, pull
two side braids toward
the crown, and pin.
C
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lineup of easy, awesome styling ideas!
HA R
LES BALLOONS
Its a French braid, only
with ponytails. Start with
one, then add more sec-
tions as you work down.
TEMPTING TAILS
Apply three elastics to each pigtail,
and puff out the hair in between.
4 bubble
styles
These puffy looks are
blowing up Hollywood.
QUEEN BEE
Tease hair, smooth the
top layer, then pin it all
under at the nape.
Slip on a headband.
3
NEW WAYS
TO USE
DRY SHAMPOO
1
Spray it all over for extra volume
and body, says Herbal Essences
celeb stylist Charles Baker Strahan.
2
Smooth winter-hat dents. Just
spray and rub, says Baker Strahan.
3
Disguise root-y highlights. White-
hued hair powder adds ashiness.
Extra Oily?
Klorane Dry Shampoo
With Nettle, $18,
klorane.com
Normal?
Herbal Essences Naked
Volume Dry Shampoo,
$5, drugstores
Fine or Limp?
Garnier Fructis Volume
Extend Instant Bodifier Dry
Shampoo, $6, drugstores
Brunette?
Vidal Sassoon Pro
Series ColorFinity Dry
Shampoo, $4, drugstores
FIND THE RIGHT FORMULA FOR
YOUR HAIR TYPE OR TONE.
BY MARTA TOPRAN AND LONI ALBERT
KHLO
KARDASHIAN
LILY
COLLINS
JENNIFER
MORRISON
HEIDI KLUM
Its tin
ted!
WRAP
STAR
Pull hair into
a pony, hide
the elastic
with hair,
then repeat
down the tail.
J
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THE VOLUME COLLECTION
AMPED-UP SHAPE. ZERO WEIGHT.
www.vidalsassoon.com
SALON GENIUS. AFFORDABLE FOR ALL.
FOAMING
AIR MOUSSE
BOOSTS & LIFTS
HAIR FOR UP
TO 24 HOURS
SALON GENIUS AFFORDABLE FOR ALL
If youve got it, flaunt it. (If you dont, fake it.)
The Cinnabun
SEXY SPIRALS
Not as lucky as Serena?
Get yourself a 1-inch iron.
FRO-LICIOUS
Solange: bringing back
soft, ultra-fluffy curls.
TOTAL TEASE
Use hot rollers, then back-
comb for wide waves.
4 starry
accents
Celestial
acces sories
(gold leaf plus
sparkly barrettes,
pins, or decals)
are out-of-
this-world hot!
UPDOS
Knots and twinelike twirls
make upsweeps more modern.
Thanks to foam doughnut-bun kits (like Conair
Bun Maker, $5, drugstores), anyone can fake
an oversize ballerina bun in seconds.
BASKET WEAVE
Slick hair into a low pony,
braid the tail, and twist it
around itself. Pin in place
(let ends hang).
SO KNOTTY
Create two ponies: one
high, one low. Twist them
around each other in fig-
ure eights; pin as you go.
CRISSCROSS
Spice up a chignon by
adding small twists from
each temple that inter-
sect, then wrap around.
P
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C
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Hair that crisply
divides directly
above your nose
frames your face.
JANUARY JONES
R
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CAREY MULLIGAN
L
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EMMA
ROBERTS
ALLISON WILLIAMS
DOUTZEN KROES
S
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Sexy HAIR Special
3 TYPES of
J
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HAYDEN
PANETTIERE
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COLOR
SO
NATURAL ,
THEY MAY JUST
THINK YOU WERE
BORN WITH IT.
1OO% GRAY COVERAGE
Nice n Easy has EXPERT
HIGHLIGHTS & LOWLIGHTS
in one simple step.
Get color so true, its the
most natural shade of YOU.
Follow CLAIROL on
2013 P&G
KEEP YOUR CURLS
with style-saving
earmuffs.
LET BANGS HANG
out of a floppy hat.
OR METAL!
USE LEATHER...
2 PONY
WRAPS
Cover a hair tie with
an edgy accessory.
mEssY BANGS
Style your fringe as usual, then mist the
ends with texturizing spray and tousle.
2 HYBRIDS
Because why should you settle for a
single style when you can have two?
10 PRODUCTS YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF...
But should have! These groomers may sound WTF, but we guarantee theyll make your hair OMG-amazing.
1 Dry
Conditioner
Lightweight oils
quench crispy ends with
no greasy aftereffects.
Oribe Soft Dry Conditioner
Spray, $35, oribe.com
2 BB Cream
Like the multitasking face
saver, this smooths,
strengthens, and hydrates
overprocessed hair.
Pantene Pro-V Ultimate 10
BB Crme, $6.29, drugstores
3 Primer
Dirt repellents double the
staying power of your style.
Living Proof Prime Style
Extender, $20, Sephora
4 Cleansing
Conditioner
Like a two-in-one
shampoo/conditioner, only
its way more hydrating.
LOral Paris EverCurl Sulfate-
Free Curl Care System
Hydracharge Cleansing
Conditioner, $7, drugstores
5 Curl Pudding
Unlike gel, this defines
ringlets and moisturizes
them too (sans crunch!).
Miss Jessies Curly Pudding,
$38, missjessies.com
6 Dry Texture
Spray
Think of it as back-comb-
ing in a bottle: instant
oomph in a few spritzes.
Blowpro Textstyle Dry
Texture Spray, $19.75,
blowpro.com
7 Hair SPF
Use this 365 days a year to
protect hair from drying,
color-fading UV rays.
Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging
Photo-Age Defense, $55,
Sephora
8 Do Glue
A tiny drop makes jagged
layers or bangs look extra-
piecey and rocker-y.
Toni and Guy Texturising
Glue, $14.99, target.com
9 Gloss
Similar to the kind you
use on your lips, this
finishing balm adds instant
shine. Shu Uemura Touch
of Gloss, $38, shuuemura
artofhair-usa.com
10 Dry Wax
Create second day hair
with a spritz of this
nonsticky texturizer.
Sexy Hair Play Dirty Wax,
$18.95, sexyhair.com
5 Winter-
Hat Tricks
THE
PONY
TWIST
Twist a pony-
tail downward,
inserting
pins along the
way. Let the
tail swing.
A
BRAIDED
BUN
Do an upside-
down French
braid, then
twist the tail
into a topknot.
TUCK IN STRANDS
for an off-duty vibe.
CONTRAST
your hair and
hat color.
1
2
3 4
5
6 7
8
9
10
SUKI WATERHOUSE
JULIANNE HOUGH BELLA THORNE
EMMA STONE
ASHLEE SIMPSON
POPPY
DELEVINGNE
JENNIFER
HUDSON
Sexy HAIR Special
LAUREN BALSAMO
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W
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DIANE KRUGER
BRAIDS AND
BERETS: trs chic.
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2
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3
GO BARER, SOFTER, SEXIER.
Infused with white grapefruit and fresh mint
essences, our New Herbal Essences Naked
Volume Shampoo and Conditioner reveal
your softest strands after every shower. Need
a quick x? Pick up our new Dry Shampoo
made with natural tapioca.
#GETNAKED
HEE H AV AV AV VVYYYYY RESIDU UES ES S, ,
DY DY YES ES ES ESSS && PARAB ABEN ENSSS
SH SH SH SH SH SH SH S AM AM AM AA PO POO O & & && CCCCCO ONDITIO ONE NNE EERRRR
NEW
7 HIDDEN
1 BRAID BAND
Go for a woven fake-hair
headband (try Hairu-
wears, $10, Ulta).
2 FAUXHAWK
Divide hair in half (like a
half-up, half-down do).
Braid each section sepa-
rately, and connect with
pins down the center of
your head.
3 BRAID CAGE
Put hair in a bun, but
leave out random,
two-inch sections all
around the hairline.
Braid these sections,
then wrap across the bun.
4 SIDE PLAITS
French-braid each side;
blend into a ponytail.
5 SKRILLEX-
STYLE
Fake the DJs signature
shaved side by rocking a
deep part then braiding
the hair below it.
6 MEGABRAID
Mix micro-braids into a
major one.
7 FUN BUN
Create two medium
braids on each side, then
pull hair into a low bun.
braids
Plaits add dimension
and coolness to the
simplest of styles.
Trade in your layers for these trendy, one-length looks, then
A new way to
rock this staple:
with super-
straight strands.
Extra wispiness
is super sexy!
Double-process
your styleblow-
dry small sections
with a paddle brush,
then flatiron them
to get Selenas look.
O
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E

S
L
E
E
K
p
o
n
y
ROCK STAR
Pair a thin leather strap
with pin-straight hair.
GLAM BAND
Go boho chic with a
beaded headpiece.
FLOWER CHILD
Channel a music-festival
feel with a ring of roses.
A forehead-grazing
halo can put off a
variety of vibes.
1
2
3
ADD WAVE

Wrap sections around a wand from
the temple down. Let hair cool.

Rake through with fingers.
...OR GO SLEEK

Flatiron your hair from root to tip.

Create a deep side part, then tuck
hair behind one ear.
4
6
5
7
CARA DELEVINGNE OLGA KURYLENKO
RITA ORA
CHLO GRACE
MORETZ
SELENA GOMEZ
JESSICA ALBA
RACHEL
BILSON
SALMA HAYEK
HAILEE
STEINFELD
KATE
BOSWORTH
V
A
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E
S
S
A
H
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D
GENS
K
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$
H
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W
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Sexy HAIR Special
3 hippie
HEADBANDS
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.
2
3 Deep
Sweeps
HOT-
MESS
HAIR:
2 WAYS
Sexy bedhead was a
runway staple.
Part hair above
the tail of one
brow, then try
AN IMPERFECT
PONY
Mist with texture spray,
scrunch, and pony up.
1 RETRO CURLS
Blow-dry hair smooth
with a round brush.
Curl hair from the chin
down. Once cooled,
brush through curls.
2 BEACHY
WAVES
Wrap hair around a wand,
leaving out a few inches
at roots and ends.
Tousle with fingers, and
mist with sea-salt spray.
3 LOTS OF LIFT
Apply mousse to
roots while hair is still
damp, then blow-dry
with your head flipped
upside down.
5 MANE-CHANGING TOOLS
Load up on these high-tech gadgets and youll never sport a bad-hair-day bun again.
Smart Iron
Built-in lights emit
infrared heat (like a
laser), which is less
damaging.
Revlon Laser
Brilliance, $30, Ulta
Overachiever
It opens like a flatiron
(and can be used as
one), but it also works
as a curling wand
just wrap hair around
it. Remington T-Studio
Silk Ceramic Multi-
styler, $35, remington
products.com
Super Comb
The built-in teeth
detangle hair as you
iron, creating the
smoothest, shiniest
strands ever.
Rowenta Straight
Express Iron, $180,
ulta.com
Wave Maker
Clamp ends, then
press go. The iron
automatically wraps
hair around the wand
for foolproof texture.
Sarah Potempa
Beachwaver, $200,
sarahpotempa.com
InstaCurl
Like magic, a
motorized roller
sucks up straight
hair and releases
hair coiled.
Infiniti Pro by Conair
Curl Secret, $100,
drugstores
2
POMPED
UP DOS
SPIKED PIXIE
Flatiron hair, and push up
the top with a pomade.
GET WHIPPED
Tease the top, and hide
the rest in a twist.
UNDONE BUN
Create the pony
above, but dont pull
hair all the way
through the elastic.
1
2
3
CIARA
C
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S
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O
MEGAN FOX
T
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R
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S
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BRANDY
P
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K
D
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M
I

L
O
V
A
T
O
Sexy HAIR Special
roducts.com
J
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S
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/
S
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D
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H
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BR
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R
O
S
E
G
O
L
D
1 Beat Brassiness
Purple-tinted shampoo
prevents a yellowish cast.
Clairol Shimmer Lights Sham-
poo, $8.39, Sally Beauty Supply
2 Go Ombr
Paint on highlights with the
easy-to-use finger comb.
LOral Paris Superior
Preference Ombr Touch, $13,
drugstores
3 White-Hot
The first at-home kit that
lightens hair six shades.
LOral Paris Fria Absolute
Platinum, $10, drugstores
4 Gray Away
The perfect fix if you start
spotting some silver.
Clairol Age Defy, $9, drugstores
a faux
BOB
Curl hair to create
texture. Once cool,
mist with volumizing hair
spray.
Pin hair under at nape.
Secure with two bobby
pins, forming an X.
Gently pull a few
pieces out in the front
for movement.
Flirt with a shorter
style without losing
an inch of length.
f
i
n
d

y
o
u
r

n
e
w

s
h
a
d
e
9 HOT NEW HUES
These colors are to dye for! Clairols new color director, NYC salon owner James Corbett,
reveals the trendiest new shades for blondes, redheads, and brunettes.
M
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A
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7 DIY HAIR-
COLOR TOOLS
Hue knew getting (and keeping) salon-worthy
strands at home could be so easy?
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Sexy HAIR Special
5 Magic Eraser
Wash away hair-color
blunders in 20 minutes.
Color Oops Extra Strength
Hair Color Remover, $13.50,
Duane Reade
6 Shine On
This pigment-rich
treatment makes any hue
richer and glossier.
John Frieda Colour Refreshing
Gloss, $13, drugstores
7 Color +
Conditioner
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MANDY MOORE
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WORK
A
S
O
N
E
W
O
M
A
N
F
O
U
N
D
O
U
T
, IT
S
N
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W
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, IT
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P
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F
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, P
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IS
H
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B
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IN
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.
BY AN
N
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LIN
EDITED BY SARA AUSTIN
G
E
T
T
Y

I
M
A
G
E
S
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 97
98
SMOOTH
IT OVER
Oh vocal frythat gravelly,
is she hungover? tone you
hear when Britney Spears
and Emma Stone speak. Its
widespread among young
women, but it doesnt
project clarity or condence
in the workplace. Eliminate
fry and you take a huge
step toward coming across
as capable, expressive, and
clear, Fletcher says.
Like fryers, my voice
sometimes tenses as I hold
my breath between words.
To help replace shallow
breaths with deep , relaxed
inhalations that use my
diaphragm, I stand with a
pillow on my head, which
falls if I wiggle around or
jut my chin for ward when
speaking. Then I hold
my thumb in front of my
mouth, ex tend it toward
an imaginary per son Im
talking to, and visualize my
voice following that path.
QUIT THE BABY TALK
Logically, I know that speaking in a little-girl voice when
Im uncomfortable doesnt say badass career woman. So
if my voice isnt naturally high-pitched, why do I slip into
Chipette mode when Im feeling the heat? Women may be,
consciously or subconsciously, using the same ammo that
worked for them in their adolescence, Fletcher says. But
while playing the innocent-and-cute card may have helped
us get our way or avoid criticism as a kid, it doesnt project
authority as an adult. Try yawning several timesboth with
your mouth open wide and pursing your lips. This stretches
out your throat and tongue, which helps prevent sound from
escaping through your nosekey to eliminating nasally
baby voice. And if you have a naturally high-pitched voice, you can help it project
more strength and condence by spending a few minutes humming while you get
ready for work each morning. Make sure to slide around into deeper pitches to really
wake up your lower register, says Fletcher.
PHASE OUT
THE FILLERS
Subconsciously dotting sentences
with likes, ums, and ya-knows is very
commonand unfairly or not can make
people question your intelligence.
To see if you do it, record yourself
during a phone conversation to see
what words you toss in the mix without
realizing itor ask a trusted friend to
be brutally honest with you.
My own ve-minute recording shows
I reexively use like. The x is easy:
Replace your likes and ums with a
breath. Take the silent second to gather
your thoughts instead of ll ing every-
thing with a sound, Fletcher advises.
I try it, along with the other strategies Fletcher has taught me, and nd that
my colleagues no longer inter rupt me or lose interest while Im talking. Instead,
they look at me like I have something important to say. And you know what? I do.
SHUT DOWN
THE UPSPEAK
You know how sometimes?
Everything someone says?
Rises up and sounds like a
question? Thats upspeak,
and it conveys hesitation,
insincerity, surprise, and
confusion, Fletcher says.
Do a DIY diagnosis: Record
yourself reading a short
news article, then play it
back. Draw an arrow above
the words, moving the pen
in upward or downward
It sounds like Im
asking a question?
says New Girls Jess.
Cher is, like,
tot ally smarter
than she sounds.
Creaky
is cute
only if
youre
Marge.
motions depending on
your intonation. If your sen-
tences tend to end on the
upswing, try this visualiza-
tion exercise: As you speak,
use your hand to draw
a straight, steady line out
of your mouth at the same
time. My voice is more
condent when I do it.
NSFW: Sarah
Silvermans itty-
bitty voice schtick.
Fun, Fearless Work
C
L
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W
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R
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:

G
R
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G

G
A
Y
N
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/
F
O
X
;

E
V
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R
E
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C
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N

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F
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S
.
Monday morning
plan: Lay out the genius concepts Id devised over the
weekend and dazzle my colleagues. But I sped through
my talking points, squeaked when answering tough
questions, and said totally at least seven times. Id
hoped to make a good impression. Instead, I sounded
like a helium-hung Busta Rhymes protge.
To a certain degree, you are your voice, says
Patricia Fletcher, a voice coach in NYC. If your voice
is free, relaxed, and expressive, its more likely your
message, ideas, and persona will be perceived the
same way. And if your voice is tight, small, or con-
stricted? You run the risk of having your message
and youperceived in kind. Oof. I began working
with Fletcher to cultivate a powerful workplace voice.
HEAR FLETCHER DEMONSTRATE WHAT YOU SHOULD AND SHOULDNT DO, ONLY ON COSMOS TABLET EDITION!
100 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
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Teams dont get more major than DreamWorks
Studios CEO and cochairman Stacey Snider
and her partner, Steven Spielberg. Use her tips
on collaboration to charm any coworker.
Read the vibe of the room.
Collaborating requires
being hyper-attuned to
the people around you.
I recently asked Steven
to read a script, and he
e-mailed, Call me when
youre ready to discuss.
I knew from the tone of
that sentence that he
didnt like it, because
I love this! would have
been an impulse he
would not have resisted.
Create a safe space.
I have a distinct memory
of my school days. When
I raised my hand or
turned in a paper, there
was that moment of
Will I meet the test?
Every time a writer
turns in a script or a
lmmaker shows you
her lm, shes utterly
exposed, so I recall that
feeling and try to give
people the permission
to share their ideas.
Dont leap to say no.
When someone pitches
an idea, I try to withhold
immediate judgment.
You can pause for at least
a few seconds, consider
whats been said, and be
thoughtful when you
respond. If a director said,
I think we should turn
this intense drama into
a musical, I might say,
We should think about
that overnight. Some-
times I take the time to
process the idea, even if it
is just a tactic!
Say we, not I. Some-
times I want to say,
Are you crazy? Thats
a terrible idea! But
instead, I say, Im not
sure we should go down
this path. What could
be more namby-pamby
than that sentence?
Im then able to follow it
with Instead, I think we
should do this, and 9 out
WHAT ARE YOU KNOWN
FOR AS A BOSS?
Empathic management:
I try to build collegiality and
common purpose.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR
TO WORK?
I always want to buy flashy
statement pieces, but I
end up with well-tailored
black trousers and jackets
and blouses. It is chic and
saves me from wasting a
ton of money.
HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM
OVERWORKING?
Discipline. You say youre
going to leave at a certain
time, you stand up, and you
go home. Do it a while and it
becomes easier.
YOUR FAVORITE ADVICE?
Your career is a long-term
project. You will put your
foot on the gas or on the
brake at different times,
but try not to stop entirely.
STACEY TAKES
THE COSMO
CAREER QUIZ
Secrets of
Teamwork
YOUR CAREER
GET-AHEAD GUIDE
of 10 times, they agree.
Im not able to say
the second sentence
without the rst.
Share the credit. I dont
deny my own achieve-
ments, but when I get
a congratulatory e-mail
about a lm, I respond,
Thank you for your kind
words. I hope you recom-
mend the lm because
your opinions matter.
I consider my ability to
share credit a measure
of my own status. Youre
more powerful if you can
aord to be generous.
Dont expect to like
everyone. You will have
collaborators you just
dont click with, and
youll develop a bag of
tricks. If its someone
whos shy, you may have
to ask leading questions
to draw him or her out.
If its someone you nd
distasteful, you can aect
a friendly attitude. Why
invest too much emotion-
ally? Your goal is to nish
the project or sign some-
one to the deal. It isnt to
be their best friend.
If youve seen any
of these films
or watched the
Oscars!youve
seen Sniders
work in action.
Guest columnist Snider teams up with
Spielberg on all DreamWorks movies.
ny

ve
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C
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;

C
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Y

D
R
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(
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J
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S
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CARESS

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the band, the owers, where to
seat relatives who despise one
another and are likely to throw
thingsbut unfortunately, the
detail that can make the most
signicant dierence in her life
is ofen overlooked: a prenup.
The reasons for this are under-
standableno bride ever wants
to imagine that someday shes
going to get divorced, despite the
odds. Who would? But I believe
the main reason a prenup isnt
considered is because many
young women getting married are
in the same situation that I was
the owner of nothing but credit-
card debt. When I got married at
24, a prenup never even remotely
occurred to me. What was there
for him to take? My Visa bill?
But 18 years later, when I
divorced my husband, I had a suc-
cessful writing career and some
money in the bank. He got to take
half of it. But it isnt even the fact
that I had to give him half that I
nd so egregious. Its the alimony
he demanded I pay him on top
of it that makes me very, very
angrylike scream-really-loud,
get-drunk, and eat-gratuitous-
carbohydrates angry. On the
rst day of every month, I have
to write him a mother^#%*ing
check for six thousand dollars. Ive
been doing this for two and a half
years. Ive got ve more lef.
How did this happen? Because
California divorce laws are anti-
quated and ridiculous and favor
the less successful spouse. Youre
probably thinking that he must
have been raising our children,
while I was acting as the bread-
winner. Nope. We dont have any.
The state of California says that
Im supposed to keep him at the
standard of living he got used to
during our marriage, even though
hes no longer my husband. So
despite the fact that he has a
masters degree and more mar-
ketable job skills than I do, Ive
had to give up my quality of life in
order to maintain his. I can now
no longer aord such luxuries as
cable TV and haircuts.
When my divorce lawyer, Mela-
nie, rst told me that my ex was
eligible for spousal support
(the new way of saying alimony),
I replied, Theres no way he
would ever ask for that. That
would be such a pussy move.
She shook her head, looked at me
across her desk, and said, Every
woman whos sat in that chair has
said the same thing. Get ready,
because hes going to ask for it.
She was right. Melanie and
her rm, Wasser, Cooperman,
and Carter, have a roster of
female clients who, like me, wish
they could build a time machine
and go back and make their ex
sign a prenup before they walk
down the aisle. Ive met a few.
We manage to nd one another
at parties. Maybe its the look of
disbelief and rage we all share.
We end up huddling in the corner,
discussing ways to cut down
our monthly bills so we can aord
to write that damn check. One
woman was going to hire her ex
to be her nanny. He didnt want
the job. Why would he? He doesnt
need a job. He gets her check
every month.
I once had a rst date (with
a reman, no less!) who, afer
the topics of divorce and alimony
came up, said, Being your ex
sounds like a great gig. I know
Id be taking that check....
I informed him that if hed told me
a Kardashian was fellating him
here are hundreds of details that
a bride-to-be has to deal with in the
months before her wedding
Why Every Woman
even thinking about
GETTING MARRIED
should get a
When she got hitched as a penniless 24-year-old, Legally Blonde screenwriter
Karen McCullah never imagined shed outearn her husband or how that would affect
her nanciallywhen they got divorced. Heres her cautionary tale.
T
T
PRENUP
F
R
O
M

L
E
F
T
:

E
V
E
R
E
T
T

C
O
L
L
E
C
T
I
O
N
;

C
O
U
R
T
E
S
Y

K
A
R
E
N

M
C
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L
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H

(
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.
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 103
under the table as we were eating,
that wouldve been less oensive
than what hed just said.
So brides-to-be, I implore
youwhether or not you have a
penny to your name right now
make that man sign a prenup
that spells out a fair division
of the assets based on percent-
age of income earned and, most
important, eliminates spousal
supportfor both of you. If hes
protected too, he cant complain.
Because some day, all of you fun,
fearless women will invent some-
thing or write something or build
something or sing something or
paint something or design some-
thing or act in something or start
a company that makes you a lot
of money, and there is no reason
on this earth why you should
be penalized for your success by
having to continue to support
an ex-husband.
Think of me as a cautionary
tale. If Ive convinced even one
of you to get a prenup, I will feel
less angry on the rst day of next
month when I have to write that
goddamn, mother^#%*ing check,
yet again.
Karen McCullah is a screenwriterwhose
movies include 10 Things I Hate About You,
Legally Blonde, The House Bunny, and The Ugly
Truthand author of the novel The Bachelor ette
Party, published by St. Martins Press.
When I got married at 24, a prenup never
even remotely occurred to me. What

was there for him to take? My Visa bill?
The author on
her wedding day
(left) and now.
Divorce law
could be Elle Woods
true calling.
Fun, Fearless News
104 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
COSMO HOT TOPICS: THIS MONTH WERE TALKING ABOUT
Egyptian Shyima Hall was 8 years old when her
parents sold her to a wealthy family. A few years
later, she was smuggled into California and held
captive for two years in a posh Orange County
suburb before being rescued by child services.
Now 23, with a daughter of her own, shes
raising awareness of slavery on our home soil.
A Twenty-First Century Slave
Q What was it
like being a
servant in Egypt?
A My family had little,
but I loved my siblings.
Then I was handed
over to people who have
everythinga 17-car
garage and an eleva-
torwho were so cruel.
I cared for a set of twins
and did much of the
housework. I wasnt tall
enough to stand at the
kitchen sink to wash
dishes, so I had a stool.
Finally, after the family
went to bed, Id eat
my one meal of the day.
Q How did they
get you into the
United States?
A They changed my
appearance by straight-
ening my hair and had
a stranger fly with me.
He told customs he was
adopting me. I wanted
to speak to a woman at
the airport, but I didnt
know the language.
I felt like I had no voice.
Q What was your
California life like?
A I lived in a room off the
garage with no natural
light and no ventilation.
I was locked out of the
house at night with no
bathroom. I knew how
long Id been there only
because the twins had
two birthdays. Once, an
Egyptian family visited
and had a slave like me.
It was the first time Id
had a friend in years. I
dont know if shes okay.
Q Even after your
rescue, your
ordeal wasnt over.
A I was so angry, but I
couldnt express myself.
Id never been to school,
and I found it hard to
trust people. The immi-
gration and customs
officer on my case was
the first person who ever
cared for me. Now I hope
to be a customs officer,
so I can help others.
Q How can we help?
A Look for a child who
isnt acting like a child.
If she has downcast
eyes, wears the same
clothes every day, or
isnt in school, its okay
to ask questions.
LEAST CHEESY
VALENTINES EVER
Theres tons of cute stuff at the new Toms
Marketplace, all from companies that give
back when you buy. Blake Mycoskie, founder
of Toms Shoes, has handpicked gifts for
your guy at Toms.com/Marketplace.
The Week Youll
NEVER Forget
Help with Typhoon Haiyan Relief in the
Philippines at Projects-Abroad.org.
Study rare birds in Yosemite at
NationalParks.org/Support-Parks/Volunteer.
Climb Mount Kilimanjaro and volunteer in
Zanzibar at RoadMonkey.net.
Build houses in North Carolina or do other
handy projects at Habitat.org.
Make your memories more
meaningful by taking an
alternative spring break this
year (FYI, some are free!).
Hidden Girl: The
True Story of a
Modern-Day
Child Slave is
out January 21.
Cancn-ed out?
Mountain biking in
Vietnam or helping kids
in Ethiopia leaves the
good kind of hangover.
LSTN headphones
($150) support hearing
aids for people in need.
Apolis travel candle
($34) fuels local jobs.
BY ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
C
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Experience it at MustHaveThisRing.com
Staycation, schmaycation. Whatever trip youve been dreaming of, Alexa has the
insider tricks to help make it a reality.
Cosmos nancial guru,
author of Financially
Fearless, and CEO of
LearnVest, Alexa von Tobel
CASHING IN
Recruit Friends
You can save money by sharing a
rental car, staying in a suite, and
requesting group rates for
activities. Use the free app
Splitwise to divvy up the bills.
Compare Options
The calculator at BeFrugal.com
computes the estimated cost (and
time investment) of driving versus
flying. Using public transit can be
a major money saver too. Ask a
local (or a friend whos been where
youre going) about the best and
cheapest ways to get from A to B.
Go Short
The longer the break, the better,
right? Actually, studies show
that its the excitement of anticipa-
tion that maximizes happiness.
A quickie getaway delivers those
good feelings on a budget.
Be Watchful
Got a dream destination? Plug it
into AirfareWatchdog.com and
youll receive e-mail alerts when
low fares pop up.
Plan, Plan, Plan
You
Afford

to Travel
Can
Yes,
Fun, Fearless Money
F
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Y
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hotels for up to 70 percent off.
A recent Jetsetter deal for a room
at a trendy waterfront hotel in San
Francisco was $100 less than the
best price offered on the hotels
website. More deals can be had
using the free HotelTonight app
great for last-minute getaways
within driving distance.
Stay Flexible
Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and
Saturdays tend to be the cheapest
days to fly. For instance, flying
between NYC and Paris on
Wednesday instead of Friday can
save nearly $150.
Search Like a Pro
Once the airline spots you search-
ing for flights online, the price
may go up and up. Clear your
browsing history to get back to the
original price.
Cover Your Bases
After youve booked, register your
pur chased tickets with Yapta. If
theres a significant drop in the
price, you may be eligible for a
refund from the airline. Tingo
offers the same service for hotels.
Work Your Card
You know about your cards big
tr a vel perkslike free miles and
airline-ticket discountsbut you
may also be entitled to under-the-
radar cost savers, such as a free
checked bag, room upgrades at
hotels, and even discounts on
concert tickets.
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 107 GOT A BRILLIANT MONEY-SAVING SECRET TO SHARE? TWEET @COSMOPOLITAN #CASHINGIN.
Win a Vacay
Some hotels and airlines host
giveaways on Instagram, Face-
book, Twitter, and Pinterest. See
what a search turns up. And
Cosmo has its own giveaway this
month: a two-night stay plus
gratis spa treatments at the Hard
Rock Hotel in San Diego. Go to
page 199 for details.
Find the Best Rate
Flash-sale sites like Tablet Hotels,
Vaca tionist, and Jetsetter (Gilt
Groupes travel company) secure
exclusive rates directly from
Now Book It
Avoid Foreign Fees
Buying something in a different
currency costs you an average of
3 percent of the purchase price in
fees. If you travel overseas often,
consider opening a fee-free card.
(just make sure youre not getting
burned with an annual fee).
Talk On
Standard voice and data plans will
rack up hundreds of dollars in fees
if you use your smartphone while
youre abroad. Instead, buy a pre-
paid SIM card at the airport. Youll
enjoy a weeks worth of unlimited
talking and web surf ing for
around $15.
Tip Wisely
If youre traveling abroad, you may
not need to tip as much as you do
in the United Statesif at all. In
many European cities, for exam-
ple, a service fee is included in
restaurant bills. Ask at your hotel
about local tipping protocols, then
act accordingly.
Get Creative
There are lots of fun ways to soak
up the city youre visiting without
splurging on pricey tickets or
Michelin-star meals. Wander
around a farmers market to check
out the local produce, then have
some for a picnic lunch. You could
sit on a bench in a city square and
people-watch, and take advantage
of free museum days and concerts
in parks and churches. Scan
bulletin boards for events, and
take a chance.
Score Perks
You wont get what you dont ask
for! Ask your hotel concierge, who
wants you to have a great stay, if
there are room upgrades available.
And dont hesitate to make friends
with ticket agents, waiters, and
other folks you come across,
mentioning if youre traveling for a
special occasion. Your new travel
mantra: It pays to be nice.
On the Road
J
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BY ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
THE HIGH FLYER
Patience Beard, 19,
college cheerleader
Born with a disorder that forced the
amputation of her left leg, Beard was
just 1 year old when she wore her first
prosthetic. Yet she played baseball,
learned gymnastics, and in seventh
grade, began cheerleading. Five years
later, she made the University of Arkan-
sas squad. She practices daily, often
tossed sky-high by male cheerleaders.
At first, it was prob a bly scary for them,
thinking, We have this metal leg flying
at us. Now, its just normal, says
Beard, who has outfitted her prosthetic
with prints like polka dots and zebra
stripes. A communications major, she
hopes to be a motivational speaker.
Everyone has something, she says.
Whether its your weight, how you
feel, having a prosthe ticwhatever it
is, own it and be who you are. Follow
her @PatienceBeard.
THE STAND-
UP SUCCESS
Aparna Nancherla, 31,
comedian and writer
When Nancherla appeared on Conan
last October, it wasnt just a personal
win. She also became the first Indian-
American female comic on late-night
TV. A quiet kid, Nancherla first braved
an open-mike night in her hometown
of Washington, D.C., on a summer
break from Amherst College. Only one
year later, she was a finalist on NBCs
Stand Up for Diversitynot that race
defines her act. People expect Im
going to talk about what its like to be
an Indian-American woman, she says.
Instead, her quirky act riffs on the eat-
ing habits of rappers and casts herself
as the Dalai Lamas boss at an ulti-
mate-fighting-apparel company.
People might not understand what Im
doing at first, she says. I have to stick
with it and trust that my perspective is
worth sharing. Follow her @Aparnapkin.
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The Cosmo Interview
Arana
Grande
OF THE TOP
ON
BY KYLE BUCHANAN
WITH HER MONSTER-HIT ALBUM, ARIANA GRANDE HAS EVERYONEAS
IN DEMI LOVATO, KATY PERRY, AND RIHANNALINING UP TO RAVE ABOUT
HER POWERHOUSE VOICE. SHE HAS FANS SO CRAZY THAT THE POLICE GOT
INVOLVED AND A ROLLER-COASTER LOVE LIFE BURNING UP TWITTER.
THE POP PRINCESS OPENS UP ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Sweater, Topshop,
$58; shorts, Aerie,
$29.95; gold-
band ring, Nancy
Newberg; safety-pin
ring, Ileana Makri;
heart ring, $550,
pav snake ring,
$725, snake ring,
$350, Ariel Gordon
Jewelry; earrings,
Grande's own
PHOTOGRAPHED BY MATT JONES FASHION DIRECTOR: AYA KANAI
WORLD
AT
20
112 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
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.
ts six days before the American
Music Awards, and Ariana Grande has no idea what
shes going to do. Its been quite the asco, says the
20-year-old pop singer. For what will surely be the
most high-prole performance of her young life thus
far, Grande has picked out the dress shell wearand
thats about it. Theyre working out the choreography,
and I dont even know what song Im singing yet, she
says with a sigh. Ive been running around like crazy.
Welcome to the wild world of Ariana Grande. One of
the hottest up-and-comers in music right now, thanks
to the smash-hit success of her debut album, Yours
Truly, Grandes been sent around the globe in order to
promote it, zipping through Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam,
New York, and Japan in a matter of weeks.
In Amsterdam, Grande was mobbed by fans
when she tried to make her way through the airport.
I never want to be the person who avoids my own
fans, so I always try to stop and say hi, she says. But
it turned into a big mosh of people, and it became
quite dangerous. I got sent to the police station, and
they told me not to come back to that airport! Later,
so many fans camped out to see the singer that the
manager of her hotel dubbed Grande a safety risk and
forbade her from going out on her balcony to wave to
them. I just went out anyway, she says. I said, You
can't stop me! Thats one thing to get in trouble for:
loving your fans too much.
Despite being literally surrounded by people, she
confesses to a little loneliness. I didnt know that
I was capable of going to so many places in so few
days, she says. Its really hard for me and my friend
Alexa, because shes in school and she doesn't have
the exibility to come visit me on the road whenever
she wants. But whenever shes on break, I try to y her
in and keep her with me as long as I can. Its funny;
one time I tweeted her school in Gainesville, like, Im
keeping Alexa! And they tweeted me back: All right.
Make sure she does her homework.
Now Grandes in Los Angeles, calling me up in
between rehearsals for the song she hasnt gured out
yet. Shes charming and funny but clearly a little tired,
so I let her go and wish her luck. Thanks, she bleats
with a sort of desperate edge, as though shell need
all the support she can get to make it to Sunday.
A few days later, Grande appears onstage at the
American Music Awards, poured into a slinky red
Jessica Rabbit dress. She stands stock-still under a
spotlight, singing an a cappella version of The Way
before moving into an earnest rendition of Tattooed
Heart. Theres no choreography, no pyrotechnicsjust
Ariana Grande standing there and singing.
She gets a standing ovation.
JUST DON'T EXPECT HER TO GO POPPIN BOTTLES
to celebrate. I think Im an old soul, she says. What
excites younger people doesnt excite me. Its an
unlikely package: The tiny pop princess with the soul
of a retirement-home-dwelling doo-wop devotee,
the octave-spanning pipes of Mariah Carey, and the
wholesome image of a Nickelodeon child starwhich,
to put a ne point on it, she kind of still is.
When I rst met Grande two months before the
AMAs, we were at a restaurant down the block from
where she shoots her TV series Sam & Cat. But it was
already clear thenand is even more so nowthat
ACCEPTING THE
BEST NEW ARTIST
AWARD AT THE AMAS.
K
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she is destined for bigger things than Nickelodeon can
oer. Her focus these days is on her turbo-charged pop
career. Music is everything that Ive ever wanted to
do, she says, her long-lashed brown eyes open wide.
To put so much time and eort into something that
you feel so passionate about and that you adore so
much and that you live for, and to see it be recognized
and pay o, is just the best thing in the world.
And it did take time. Raised in Florida, Grande set
o for Broadway in her early teens, and afer scoring
a role in the musical 13, the edgling singer-actress
went West, where she was cast as day scene-stealer
Cat on the Nickelodeon sitcom Victorious and again on
her current show, a spin-o. Afer
toiling onset during the day, she
headed into the studio at night.
She spent more than three years
working on the luscious jams
that would become Yours Truly,
cowriting half its 12 songs.
Grande seems almost unable to
believe that her long-in-the-works
album is even out, let alone that
its made her a superstar. Im
kind of a boring, normal girl who
likes Harry Potter and to sit in
her pajamas and sing. A lot of my
friends are partiers, but Ive never
really clicked with that.
Grande is hardly uptightshes
sitting opposite me in a denim
crop top and barely-there shorts
but by way of comparison, she
oers, I like Barbra Streisand, and
when was the last time you saw
Babs getting, like, turnt up? Thats
kind of the road that I, as a lady,
would like to go down.
ALTHOUGH GRANDE CONSIDERS HERSELF THE
furthest thing from a headline-chasing diva, her
romantic life has given the gossip sites plenty to talk
about. On her wrist, nestled next to a red kabbalah
bracelet, a string of letters spells out Nathan, a nod
to 19-year-old Nathan Sykes, the youngest member
of British boy band The Wanted. The two recorded the
duet Almost Is Never Enough, but Grande kept their
dating under wraps until they went public last fall in
a manner more Nickelodeon than MTV: Fans spotted
them holding hands at Disneyland.
Grande, who calls herself a hopeless romantic, was
won over by their rst date: We were going back to his
hotel to watch a movie, and he had Ladure macarons
and sunowers waitingI love Parisian baked goods,
and sunowers are my favorite ower, she says. He
had taken the DVD player out of the bedroom and into
the living room, because he said he didnt want to take
me into the bedroom on the rst date.
Still, when your life moves as fast as Grandes does
right now, nothings guaranteed (except that whatever
happens will be fodder for another hit song). Maybe
thats one reason she remains wary of going
too public with her relationships. Sometimes
people get too xated on what people are going
to say, she says, recalling the grief she got when
she Instagrammed a friendly kiss from former
tourmate Justin Bieber. At the end of the day, youre
in a relationship because you love that person, not
because of what other people think.
How does she deal with her Twitter haters then?
Oh, theyre evil as hell! she chuckles. I dont even
block them anymore, because I feel like its giving
them negativity in return. So I just let it happen and
forgive them and move on. Those
people are ghting their own
battles. When all else fails, she
thinks back to some advice her
grandmother gave her. I said,
Nonna, how do you deal with the
jealous ladies at the home where
you live? And she said, I dont
blame them. Id be jealous too.
When asked about other
guys shes dated, Grande grows
introspective. In the past,
I was in some relationships
that actually took a toll on me
mentally and made me feel
like a dierent person in a bad
way, she says. She admits the
sad, nostalgic Honeymoon
Avenue was written about a
very confused relationship that
I stayed in for all the wrong
reasons. I was so incredibly sad
while I was with this person.
Im a happy girlI love laughing.
But I dont remember smiling
once when I was with him. Now,
she says, she wants a relationship that makes me
feel like a better version of me.
If Yours Truly is the emotional story of Grande
growing upA lot can happen when youre 17 to
20, she notesexpect her next record to chronicle a
woman coming into her own. When you go through
those teenage years, theres lots of crying and drama
and craziness and doubting yourself, and I havent
felt any of that in a long time, she says. Ive just felt
calm and happy, like Im doing what Im supposed to
be doing. I feel like Im becoming the lady who I want
to become and who my mom wants me to be.
Not that she takes any of her newfound success for
granted. I never really expected to be taken seriously
as an artist, and its just been the ultimate, proudest
achievement, she says. Ive dealt with a lot of people
not knowing what to expect from me because of my
age and my personality. People ofen mistake my
kindness for weakness, and they didnt expect much
from me, because at the end of the day, Im just a nice
Italian girl from Boca.
KATY PERRY HAS SAID GRANDE
HAS THE BEST FEMALE
VOCAL IN POP MUSIC TODAY.
The Cosmo Interview
Show your V some love with Summers Eve Cleansing Cloths and Wash. From
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Dont forget your V this Valentines Day.
summerseve.com

Happy alentines Day.


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COSMOPOLITAN | MXNTH 2014 115
OTHER
STUFF
LOVELUST&
EDITED BY MARINA KHIDEKEL

LEAD BY EXAMPLE
I started to randomly bring home his favorite
treatspizza Lunchables and mini cupcakes.
After the third time, he had my go-to candy waiting
for me after work. Slowbut effective.
Natalie S., 28
Some guys are born,
well, guysas
opposed to Nicholas
Sparks characters.
But that doesnt
mean you cant coax
out his softer side.
STEALTH
WAYS
TO BRING OUT HIS
ROMANTIC
SIDE

MARISSA GAINSBURG

SPEAK UP
I comment out loud when-
ever I see his friends buy their
girlfriends owers or write
an adorable status about
them on Facebook. Since hes
competitive, he usually
tries to one-up his buddies.
Alisha G., 28

MEET HIM HALFWAY
I send him links to
restaurants I want to try.
He never used to plan
dates, but since I started
this, hes taken me to
quite a few on my list.
Victoria P., 24

REWARD HIM
Whenever he does some-
thing sweet for me, I thank
him with a blow job. That
way, he associates his good
deed with my naughty one.
Brittany M., 23

DO THE OBVIOUS
I buy him beer. It helps him
detox from whatevers both-
ering him, and hes mushier
when hes a little buzzed.
Kate C., 24
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Love, Lust & Other Stuff
116 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
RE-CREATE

THE URGENT, UNDER-THE-CLOTHES QUICKIE
The key is keeping things fast and furious.
Be rough with kissing and touching as soon as
you walk in the doorpush your undies to the
side, leave your heels on, and do it under your
dress. Hell, just get busy right against the wall if
you must. (If you can get into an emotional fight
in the rain beforehand, even better.)
WHY ITS HOT
I dont need to explain why a sex scene
starring human vibrator Ryan Gosling is a turn-
on. But I will. After a torturous seven-year
wait, Rachel and a bearded Ry Gos finally
consummate their passion in a grade-A thong-
twister. Gosling pushes her against the wall,
passionately rips off her clothes, and
then carries her into the bedroom, where he
feasts on her naked body. Yes, please!
RYAN
GOSLING MCADAMS
RACHEL
Lights, camera,
action! (You know
the kind we mean.)
You love watching
them on filmnow its
your turn to be the
star and re-create the
hottest, most iconic
big-screen sex scenes
at home (or in the wild).
Envelope, please: The
orgasm goes toyou.
BY ROSE SURNOW
amera,
u know
e mean.)
watching
it
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 117
RE-CREATE
BAWDY BACKSEAT SEX
No need to board a cruise ship on a glacier route. Just park
your hoopdee somewhere that makes you feel rebellious
like a quiet suburban neighborhoodand do it like a couple of randy
teens. Spoon-sex him in the backseat, straddle him on the passen-
gers side (the seatbelt is a handy restraint), or position yourself over
the center console and make doggie your default setting.
Sweaty hands on the steamy windows are an absolute must.
WHY ITS HOT
Kate Winslets Rose falls hard for a whimsical artist with no money
and floppy blond hair. #BeenThere. The scandalous Jasmine/
Aladdin dynamic sets the stage for some seriously scorching sex.
After Kate drops trou so that Leo can sketch her in the buff,
these two crazy kids break into an empty car where they go at it
so intensely, they fog up the windows. Knowing they could
get caught at any minute raises the stakes, transforming ordinary
nookie into a full-on erotic adventure.
RE-CREATE...

SNEAKY, ANONYMOUS PARTY SEX
All you need to recreate this IRL is an
abandoned chateau and 300 DTF
guests. If thats out of budget, try the
pared-down version: Next time youre
partying, plan an escape to an empty
room. The closet is a perfect sneaky
hookup spot because youre hidden, but
theres still a chance of getting busted,
which ups the sauce factor. Go down on
each other before trying a little from-
behind action, holding the door shut and
leaning back on him. Forcing yourself
to do it all quietlyso your moans dont
give you awaywill feel extra naughty.
WHY ITS HOT
Three words: secret mansion orgy.
In this practically X-rated sex saga,
guests openly eff all over the house,
partying like its 200 BC Rome.
One particular couple, however, wins
the award for most alluring public
display of affection. The woman lies on
a dark wood table, back arched, while a
masked stranger stands over her, pas-
sionately thrusting into her. Call me
voyeuristic, but mysterious, butt-grab-
bing strangers? Totally arousing.
TITAnIC
LEONARDO
DECAPRIO WINSLET
KATE
EYES
WIDE
SHUT
CRUISE
TOM
KIDMAN
NICOLE
WHAT BIG-SCREEN SEX SCENE GIVES YOU ALL
THE FEELS? TWEET US @COSMOPOLITAN #MOVIEGASM.
O
P
P
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P
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Love, Lust & Other Stuff
118 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
RE-CREATE

THE KINKY ROLE-PLAY ROMP
Be the boss and have him address you
only as Ms., or play the secretary
and give oral under the bosss desk.
All mistakes will be punishable by
naughty spankingand the sex posi-
tion of the bosss choice. Reverse-
cowgirl-ing in an office chair will be
overtime you wont mind.
WHY ITS HOT
Spaders Mr. Grey is masterfully kinky
when spanking his assistant, Ms.
Holloway, over a typo: Put your elbows
on the desk, bend overand read it
aloud. S&M sex at the office is totally
tabooand super arousing. Cmon, no
one fantasizes about a loving monoga-
mous couple doing it missionary-style
in their master bedroom.
DEMI
MOORE SWAYZE
PATRICK
RE-CREATE

KISS-ANYWHERE-BUT-THE-MOUTH SEX
Take turns lying down totally nude while you kiss every inch of
each others bodiesexcept the mouth. As things start to feel
super delicious, go all the way, but remember: no lip-locking. No-
kissing sex will feel all forbiddenand inspire more lip service to
your ears, neck, and nipples. Blonde-bob wig, optional.
WHY ITS HOT
Julia sparked untold hotel sexcapades after taking control of the
bump-and-grind at the Regent Beverly Wilshire. What do you
do? Gere asks. Everything, she replies. But I dont kiss on
the mouth. Sometimes youre in the mood to look into your part-
ners eyes and make soft, sensual, Usher-style loveand other
times, you want to rough-ride your man in vinyl boots. Simple.
RE-CREATE

THE FUN, FRISKY FOREPLAY GAME
Even without an in-home pottery studio,
you can still engage in some messy fun.
Wash your car, frost a cake, pull some
weedsas long as youre getting dirty
(pun intended). Then challenge your
man to try to distract you with his hands
and mouth. See how long you can resist
before giving in to some gritty sex
whether on top of the kitchen table or
with his, ahem, garden hose.
WHY ITS HOT
Nothing ferments my kombucha like some
down-and-dirty whoopee. In this epic scene,
Demi is sensually massaging clay on her
potters wheel when a shirtless Swayze tries
to distract her by caressing her neck and
arms. Suddenly, nothing seems hotter than
being sex-jumped when youre totally
absorbed with some hands-on project. Demi
plays it real cool, pretending to focus on
some wack ceramic pot while the biggest
hunk of the 90s grinds on her from behind.
RICHARD
GERE
Pretty Woman
ROBERTS
JULIA
SECRETARY
MAGGIE
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JAMES
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Frustrated that sex wasnt bringing her the elusive
orgasms she craved, Julie Buntin unlocked her O
with a little help from an unexpectedly arousing
plaything. Maybe her story will inspire you to
discover the sexcessories that will change your life.
I was 22 years old in a shower in Paris when I had my rst
orgasm. There was no man in sightjust a phallic, plastic shaf
the same color as a blue raspberry Blow Pop. In that steamy (liter-
ally) moment, the Blueberry Bliss vibrator changed my sexual life.
Before Blueberry, sex was pure frustration. You like that?
guys would ask from between my legs. Um, keep going, Id
instruct, as clueless boyfriends rubbed everywhere but my clito-
ris. Occasionally, someone would get closebut Id always stop
him by faking an orgasm (lots of loud puppyish noises did the
trick) just as the sensation started to get really intense. The truth
is, I was scared. Although I lost my virginity at 15 and always
had boyfriends, I never really masturbated. I spent more time
fantasizing about crushes falling in love with me than discover-
ing what I found arousing. Tapping into my own pleasure seemed
less motivating than making myself into what guys wanted. Plus,
being an orgasm virgin made me afraid of my body. If I come, will
I pee? I wondered. Sometimes, it felt like I might.
By my 20s, I knew I was missing out. Maybe Ive had an
orgasm, Id say to friends. If I think I have, I probably have
right? They stared at me with pity. One Sunday, my best friend
dragged me to Babeland. I chose the Blueberry Bliss Turbo
Glider because it was the cheapest, and I promptly hid it deep
in my closet from my then live-in boyfriend. I continued to fake
orgasms with him and then felt resentful about the fact that he
got a lot more pleasure from our sex life than I did. A few days
before traveling to Paris for a summer study-abroad trip, I slid
Blueberry into my suitcase on a whim.
Was it in the spirit of trying new things that I whipped it out
and took it with me into the shower? More likely, it was because
I was nally alone. I stood there, water streaming down my
face, rubbing the vibrator (on medium speed) in a circular
motion on my clitoris until, miracle of miracles, my mind went
blank and my entire body turned to zz. I let out a sof little
oh, more of a choke than a moan. Do you even need to ask how
I spent the rest of my summer in Paris? There were no guys
involved, but I was coming daily.
It took getting myself o to learn that sexual chemistry
requires a give and take. Once I knew how I liked to be touched,
I dropped the fake porny act and realized that compromising my
own pleasure for the sake of someone elses feelings was only
going to hurt my relationships. Ultimately, this led to breaking
up with the boyfriend, who could never get the job done, even
afer I gured out how to explain what turned me on. Without
Blueberry, I might still be with him. Happily, I now have mind-
blowing orgasms with other human beings. In fact, I hardly ever
use Blueberry anymore. But well always have Paris.
Julie Buntin is a New Yorkbased writer of embarrassingly personal
stories she hopes her mother never reads.
IN
SEARCH

ULTIMATE
of the
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 121
A
B
C A
B
C A
Love, Lust & Other Stuff
JIMMYJANE
LITTLE CHROMA
($125, jimmyjane.com)
If metallics are the
new neutrals, this chic
sexcessoryintended
for light labia buzzing or
internal G-spot explora-
tionis so now. A gentle
vibe with one speed, its
smooth, skinny, and ideal
for newcomers. Its the
perfect size for my
hand. The big draw is
that its waterproof.
I got a nice steamy, solo
shower going, turned
it onand then turned
myself on, says Audrey
B., 24.
BABELAND
SILVER BULLET
($15, babeland.com)
Two inches of pure
sexual secret weapon.
Use it alone, or pulse it
on your clitoris during
sex. Turn the speed
up and never fake an
orgasm again. Its the
little black dress of sex
toys. Everyone needs
one. Ann M., 32*
CRAVE DUET
($149, lovecrave.com)
Nestled in a lipstick-
size case and billed as
quiet enough to use in
a library, its stealth like
a Bond weaponno
one would guess its a
mini-vibrator with
two prongs designed to
hug your clit sensually.
It feels like buttah,
and even the lowest
setting packs a punch,
notes Bridget M., 27.
Its velvety tips also work
on nipples and balls.
As you do.
FUN
FACTORY UFO
($80, edenfantasys.com)
A futuristic take on the
traditional bullet. Like
the sex-toy equivalent of
E.T., it quietly phones
homeI put it on the
highest power and let
the at spaceship side
rove on my clitoris dur-
ing asolo expedition,
reports Genevieve S.,
21. Plus, it powers
up via a magnetic
chargerno batter-
ies necessaryso itll
never die right before
youre about to lift off.
SHHHSECRET SEX TOYS
Fool the snoops in your life with these covert (even cuddly!) orgasm gadgets. We wont tell a soul.
(A) SQWEEL 2 ($59, babeland.com): Looks like a personal fan. Actually: a cunnilingus simulator!
I loved this Thumbelina-size Ferris wheel of silicone tongues, reports Andrea F., 31. One of its seven
settings is perfectly melodic and sensual. Second only to a real, live tongue. (B) KANDI KISSES
LIPSTICK VIBE ($59, bedroomkandi.com): Thank Real Housewives of Atlanta diva Kandi Burruss
for this perfect mini-vibe. Lisa A., 26 (C) I RUB MY DUCKIE ($35, adameve.com): I started
using the bill on my clitoris in the shower, but I liked the way the tail felt better! Amanda J., 22
Lipstick that
gets you off?
Please and
thank you.
MEET YOUR ORGASM SECRET WEAPONS
When it comes to the wild thing, Meg Ryan at-the-deli-level orgasms are
all too rare. The majority of women (as in, a solid 75 percent) dont orgasm from
intercourse alone, according to decades of studies. Thats where a new crop
of sleek sex toys comes in as eye-opening, O-inducing sexual game changers.
Whether youre taking your pleasure into your own hands or playing with a part-
ner, its time to feel the buzz on the best (Cosmo staff tested!) vibrators, bullets,
and yes, uttering oral-sex simulators out there. BY MICHELLE RUIZ
Recommended
for naughty
newbies!
*
Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
BABELAND
SILVER BULLET
FUN
FACTORY UFO
($80, edenfantasys.com
A futuristic take on th
traditional bullet. Li
the sex-toy equivalen
E.T., it quietly phone
homeI put it on th
highest power and
the at spaceship s
rove on my clitoris
solo exped
newbies!
CRAVE DUET
x simulators out there. x simulators out there. BY MICCHELLE RUIZ HELLE RUIZ
mended
aughtyyyyyyyy
! !
B
E
N
G
O
L
D
S
T
E
I
N
/
S
T
U
D
I
O
D
st & Other
1
2
3
4
Sosex toys
sort of scare you.
Not to worry:
Introducing a
motorized device
to your Delicate
Flower can
be a downright
delightful
experience with
these small,
sweet products
for beginners.
VIBRATOR
VIRGIN
BEGINNER
1
BLUSH EVES
RABBIT ($70, blush
novelties.com)
The iconic, addictive sex
toy hops onwith four
speeds and ve rows of
pleasure beads. At rst
glance, it looks intimi-
datingbut once you get
down to it, the shaft and
the ears hit right where
they need to for an ideal,
double-the-fun orgasm,
says Missy K., 28. Just
note that it doesnt go
quietly into the night:
The Rabbit is decently
audible, which might
make your roommate
start to wonder what
youre doing, she says.
JIMMYJANE
HELLO TOUCH
($65, jimmyjane.com)
Meet the Iron Man glove
of sex paraphernalia: two
tiny ngertip vibrators
that attach to your hand
via a futuristic wristband.
I rubbed it against my
boyfriends nipples and
penis, and then he got
adventurous all around
my lady space, says Jo
B., 22. The n ger vibes
are teeny but powerful.
Who knew that its actu-
ally very exciting when
a guy gets you off with a
robot hand?
No joke: Gave
our reviewer
multiple orgasms.
First born
in the
1970s as a
personal
massager!
5
4
3
2
JE JOUE MIO
COCK RING
($99, jejoue.com)
To warp the words
of Beyonc, if you like
him, then you better
put a ring on him.
This is a total party for
everybody involved
it slips on easily, and
the vibrations were a
surprising sensation
on my husbands
penis and buzzed me
to orgasm when I was
on top. Thoroughly
heartwarming to have
a sex toy that makes
everybody happy!
Melissa W., 29
LELO SORAYA
($199, lelo.com)
This feels just like
Barry White sounds,
raves Leah A., 26.
So perfect, it felt like
someone took a mold of
my vagina. It is powerful
but can also be gentle
and discreet. Soraya is
armed with one vibrat-
ing motor for internal
stimulation and another
for your clitoris. Choose
from three speeds and
eight vibration modes.
I urge you, try them all,
says Leah. No hyper-
bole: the Soraya is the
best pleasure object Ive
ever used. We need to
start a not-for-prot that
gives this thing to every
woman on the planet.
122 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
You research the sh*t out of your new cell phone before buying
shouldnt you be equally informed about the gadgets bringing you
to orgasm? Embrace these tips like a lover.
Silicone Is SexyToys made of this medical-grade
material are safest because theyre slickthere are
no tiny holes that can trap bacteria between sexual
adventures. Also saucy and sanitary: glass, stainless-
steel, and hard-plastic get-you-off gadgets.
Phthalates Arent Look for labels announcing toys
that are free of these chemicals, which are used to soften
everyday plastics but dont necessarily belong inside your
vagina (or rubbing on his Big Lebowski).
Sex Yourself CleanAlways lather new naughty toys
with soap and water. Repeat and air-dry (towels can leave
lint on the vibe) before and after play. Check manuals
some vibes are dishwasher safe!
HITACHI
MAGIC WAND
($55, themagic
wandshop.com)
Totally old-school (read:
still plugs into the
wall!), but it remains
the strongest thing out
there, afrms Emily
S., 29. If you want a
fast, intense clitoral
orgasmand a back
massage afterward
its really the mother of
all vibrators. Just be
warned: its earthquake-
like vibrations are on
the loud side. Use it
with the Flutter Tip
Wand Attachment ($25,
thepleasurechest.com).
Popped atop the Wand,
it simulates cunnilin-
gus: So soft, it felt
like a fancy upgrade,
says Emily. Even if my
dachshund thought it
was a new dog toy.
6
Youre beyond
bullets but not quite
ready for butt plugs.
Welcome to the
intermediate
playfield of XXX
shoppingnaughty
pieces with
next-level power
and the promise of
double orgasms.
CALLING ALL SEX-TOY SHOPPERS
RABBIT
READY
INTERMEDIATE
Strengthen
your muscles...
and your
orgasms.
2
OHMIBOD
LOVELIFE
ADVENTURE
TRIPLE STIM
VIBRATOR
($99, ohmibod.com)
This overachiever
boasts three branches
that tickle the clitoris,
G-spot, and butt.
At rst, I was freaked
out about having the
one branch near my
butt, but it was such a
mellow tickle, I actu-
ally found the sensation
new and titillating.
Lila R., 23
3
1
A master of toys,
youre so advanced,
you could school
Christian Grey in kinky
crop-spanking. In
fact, youre probably
pulsing your vibrat-
ing Kegel balls as we
speak. #Respect
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 123
FUN FACTORY
STRONIC ZWEI
($200, thepleasure
chest.com)
No cuddly clit-tickling
here: This is a straight-
up penetrator intended
for internal thrusting.
I had to warm myself
up with lube for a good
10 minutes before it slid
in comfortably, says
Melanie T., 24. But once
it didmagic. Usually,
Im a clit-focused kind of
gal, but when I pressed
upward toward my G-spot
and circled around, I
ended up switching
through almost all 10 set-
tings. It delivers serious
action when youre in the
mood for a good G-spot
orgasm.Giddy up!
and Green If you want to make Mother Nature O,
look for the new wave of sexcessories with rechargeable,
cell-like batteries or ones that power up via a USB port.
These snazzy toys are often pricier, but they also buzz
harder and last longer.
Bawdy Buyer, Beware Make sure youre not paying for
a used sex toy (gag) by shopping at a toy boutique whose
policy is to accept returns only for broken playthings.
Also note privacy policies: If you dont want your
mailman/roommate to know youre buying a vibe, order
online from one of the best in the naughty business
like Babeland or The Pleasure Chest. Both use covert
names that wont embarrass you on your credit-card
statement and plain shipping boxes with no store logo.
Business on the outside; sex party inside!
SOURCES: SADIE ALLISON, AUTHOR OF TOYGASMS!; CLAIRE CAVANAH, COFOUNDER OF BABELAND
trengthen St
ur muscles... you
g
and your
orgasms.
3
-
d
d
id
nce
,
d of
d
spot
set-
us
the
ot
LELO
LUNA BEADS
($47, lelo.com)
Vagina weight lifting:
yes, its a thing. Thanks
to Fifty Shades of Grey,
Kegel ballssmall,
weighted balls on a
string, historically called
Ben Wa ballsare the
hottest sex toy of the
moment. Inserted into
the vagina for foreplay
teasing or pelvic-oor-
muscle strengthening,
the Luna Beads vibrate
lightly when inside you.
It was strange at rst
feeling the extra weight
inside, but I got used to
it. I walked with them to
and from errands or just
around my apartment,
says Renee J., 23. My
guy said he could tell
the difference during
sex when I clinched.
OHMIBOD
LOVELIFE
AADVENTURE
ng,
ate
you.
rst
ight
d to
m to
just
nt,
My
ll
g
.
OHMIBOD
CLUB VIBE
($79, ticklekitty.com)
I can wear this little
vibrator in my thong, set
it to vibrate to music,
or have my boyfriend
control it with a remote
control from across
the room? Count me
in! says Emily V., 25.
It comes with a bulky
one-size-ts-all pair of
undies, but the vibe was
small enough to t under
the lip of my Victorias
Secret lace thong. The
best settings are the ones
that vibrate to the beat of
the bass. As a dance-
music addict, the music
that gets me off was
literally getting me off...
in public. Talk about a
dirty little secret.
5
4
SPORTSHEETS
STUDDED XO CROP
($15, sex-toy stores)
After two glasses of red
wine, I beckoned my guy
into the bedroom and
told him he was in trou-
ble for not finishing his
weekend chores. Big
smile on his face, he was
game.I started with
soft taps and built up to
harder hitting. He said it
hurtbut didnt care. The
crop is high quality and
made me feel powerful,
and the studs added to the
excite ment. A little pain
goes a long way to spike
up your sex drive.
Melissa E., 29
Three motors =
triple your pleasure.
(
BEN WA
)

BALLS
OUT
ADVANCED
Love, Lust & Other Stuff
124 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Q Im dating a really great guy,
but he kisses like a suction
pump. Suggestions, please!
A Unless hes Christian Grey himself, you
absolutely have a say. Men love it when a woman
takes action, says sex and life coach Eric Amaranth.
Sweetly, sexily introduce a new smooching style
by sliding on top of him and telling him you want
to play a little kissing game. Then take turns
frenching each other quickly, sensually, hungrily
whatever moves you. It will give you a chance
to tell him, I love it when you kiss me deeply.
Just dont be shy. If you dont tell somebody
what you like, they dont know what to give you,
says Barbara Carrellas, author of Ecstasy
Is Necessary. If he doesnt improve? Consider
kissing him good-bye.
Q My boyfriend
and I are dying to have
a threesome with
another girl. Where
do we even begin?
A Go to a bar with your
manfriend and work
your irting magic on
the ladies. According
to Amaranth, The re
is ofen started between
the women. Or try
logging on to a hookup
or dating site with
threesome categories.
Single ladies are
looking for couples to
get down with at
Polymatchmaker and
OkCupid. Whether
you pick her up online
or in person, discuss
the rules and whats on
the sexual menu
before you get naked,
Amaranth says.
Also, use condoms.
MICHELLE RUIZ
I know nipples are supposed to
get hard when youre aroused,
but I dont feel much sensation
in mine unless Im cold. Is
something wrong with me?
A Stop the nipple shame! Some womens nipples
are just more sensitive than others, says Jennifer
Wider, MD, author of The Savvy Woman Patient.
The hardening of your nipples depends on the nerve
sensation in your breasts, which varies from lady
to lady. Rare women report nipple tingling so strong,
they can actually orgasm from it (nipplegasm!),
while others hardly perk up. Its all good, because
your boobs arent the only way to get titillated.
Some women get more aroused when they have
their feet or the back of their necks touched, Wider
says. Arent our bodies the breast?
Q My fianc and
I have great sex,
but lately I prefer
masturbating
to porn. WTF?
A Choosing your hand
over your man probably
means youre super
stressed. Afer a long
day, masturbating is
just easier, Carrellas says.
You know youre going
to get o but dont have to
take care of someone
else. Beyond tired? Initiate
some lazy spoon sex
with your guy. Just dont
let XXX sex replace the
real thing. Porn is the junk
food of sexuality, Carrellas
says. Nothing wrong with
an occasional fast-food
meal, but a steady diet of
it is really not going to
make you feel good.
S
E
X
Q
&
A
NO-BS RESPONSES
TO QUESTIONS YOU CAN
ONLY ASK COSM
O
Sundaes are
delishwith or
without the
cherry on top.
L
E
W

R
O
B
E
R
T
S
O
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/
G
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Y

I
M
A
G
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S
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126 COSMOPOLITAN | MXNTH 2014
We share pjs
but cant
see eye to eye?
My boyfriend closes
his eyes every time
we have sex. When
Im on top, he closes
his eyes, and when
hes on top, he looks
away and closes his
eyes! Should I take
this personally?
A Ill bet its just the way
he has sex. Some people
make crazy O faces, some
people make animal noises,
other people make weird
requests of their partners
that involve diapersbe
glad you dont have to deal
with that. Yes, he could be
fantasizing about other
people, but he could do
that with his eyes open
too. Rather than acting like
hes been doing something
wrong (It hurts my feelings
when you dont look at me
and my body), tell him
what youd like him to do:
It would really turn me on
if you looked at me and my
body. Im sure hell nd
that info to be a real, ahem,
eye-opener [*takes bow, tap-
dances ostage*].
LO
VE AD
VICE
FRO
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Love, Lust & Other Stuff
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 127
Q Before our wedding, I asked my husband to block his ex-girlfriend
on Facebook, because I wasnt comfortable with her continually
contacting him. He deleted her, but a few months later, he added her
back. Should I be upset or am I overreacting?
A You might be overreacting. Asking him to block the ex was intrusive and
accomplished nothing, because if this ex is obsessed with your husband
Im not saying she is, but thats what youre implyingthere are other modes of
communication she can use to contact him. And Ill bet thats exactly what she
did. She probably messaged him by some other means and pointed out the fact
that it was eed up that his ance was telling him how to manage his social
media. And I imagine that he added her back on Facebook just to shut her up. Tell
your husband that you noticed he added the ex again on Facebook. Hell try to
explain, but cut him o and say, I just want to let you know that Im okay with it.
I may not trust her, but I trust you. If you dont, what are you doing with him?
Q

Im getting back together
with my on-and-off boyfriend.
Weve been broken up for about
one year, and I really dont want
to talk about how many people
weve slept with while we were
apart. Do we have to come
clean in order to start over?
A No! By all means, remain dirtyor
at least, keep the dirty single-people fun
youve been having to yourselves. You
should both get tested for STDs, but you
dont owe each other an explanation about
what youve been up to while on a break. If
neither of you wants to get deep about the
past year, dont subject each other to it. If
he insists on knowing how many people
you slept with, just white-lie! This is one
of those (rare) times when lying is not only
harmless but also better for both of you.
Q Im dating a great guy,
but were 26 and his ex
is a 42-year-old woman.
Should I be concerned?
A Were you weirded out
about, say, George Clooney
dating Stacy Keibler? Hes
18 years older than she is.
People tend to be far more
critical of older women
hooking up with younger
men than of older men
getting down with younger
women, which isnt fair.
Maybe hes always wanted
to be with someone more
seasoned. All that matters
is that their relationship is
over and now you and he
have potential. Dont derail
it by worrying about the
past. Besides, theres a good
chance she taught him a
thing or two about how to
please a woman in bed.
Q

My fianc is amazing,
kind, and great in bed,
but after sex, hes not
down to cuddle. He just
gets up and showers
immediately. Whats up
with that?
A At best, your anc
simply has a post-boning
habit of showering. At
worst, he has hang-ups
about sex being unclean
and feels the need to bathe
aferward. Next time you
do it, ask him (in that cute
postsex voice all women
seem to have) to stay in
bed with you. If he tries to
go shower, remind him you
think hes amazing, kind,
and great in bed, and thats
why you want (and need)
to be close to him afer sex.
Q

My boyfriends room-
mate is a permanent third
wheel. How do we tell him
we want alone time with-
out hurting his feelings?
A Whatever you do, dont
talk to him yourself. No
matter how kind you are,
hell think youre a bitch and
itll potentially make your
boyfriends living situa-
tion extremely tense. This
is something your boy-
friend has to take care of.
Before you come over next
time, your guy should say
something like, Hey, the
girlfriend and I were hoping
to watch a movie together
tonight. Is it cool with you if
we have the living room to
ourselves for a few hours?
Q

My boyfriend is so obsessed with sports, all we ever do is watch foot-
ball at bars with his friends. Whenever I say I want to go on a proper date,
he acts like Im insane. Does he just not care about making me happy?
A Give him the benet of the doubt. Men can be shockingly dense sometimes,
especially once they get comfortable in LTRs. First, make sure youre going out
with your own friends (without him), because youre clearly spending too much
time in sports bars. Next, come up with some new date ideas. Say This new
restaurant sounds awesome. We should really try it. What night works for you?
If he starts painting his face in his team colors or feeds you BS about how he has
a game to watch, then screw the benet of the doubt and have a serious talk with
him about why he cares more about sports than about your feelings.
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Love, Lust & Other Stuff
128 LAUREN PANARIELLO
TWITTER
PERSONA
DECODE HIS...
Remember the good old days when
the only thing you had to decipher
was his drunken 4 a.m. text?
Now all his tweets are windows into
your guys psyche (#LuckyGirls!).
Sowhat do those 140 characters
really say about his soul?
TYPICAL TWEET Hey boyfriends: I DONT GIVE
A SH*T! Just because theres a goalie doesnt
mean you cant score. HATERZ #ComeAtMe
FAVE OR UNFOLLOW? Even Yeezus has better
impulse control than this balls-out bro. Its cool
when Trump retweets him. Not so much when
his swagger = telling off your brunch waitress.
The Brawler
Hes the common mans Kanye Westa caps-locking,
fight-picking, social-media fist thrower.
He RTs Aziz Ansari on the reg,
shares links to his Parks and
Rec recaps on Tumblr, and
half his tweets end with
amirite?
TYPICAL TWEET Wearing
those new Google glasses
is a great way to tell people
you have a small penis.
Sent from users new
Google Glass
FAVE OR UNFOLLOW? Hell
make you laugh so hard, you
subsequently get turned on.
Joke all the way to the bed-
room! Fingers crossed
theres no damaged, twisty
past fueling his self-
deprecating dark comedy.
He thinks hes stealth, but when he
tweets a Coldplay lyric (Nobody
said it was easy / Its such a shame
for us to part) the day after his
breakup, all 997 of his followers
know whats up.
TYPICAL TWEET Thought for the
day: Sometimes the person you
fall for isnt ready to catch you.
FAVE OR UNFOLLOW? Hes sensitive
all right, but if he live-tweets his
therapy sesh one more time,
youre lobbying Jack Dorsey
for a least favorite button.
The Jokester
The Drama King
Just leaving Miami
for NYC. Sorry Im in
pajamas, but I just
got off the PJ.
@ScottDisick
YOU CANT PUT
YOURSELF IN MY SHOES.
YOUR FACE LOOKS
CRAZY. @KanyeWest
He floods your feed with pics
of luxe livingbottle service in Vegas
with Scott Disick, flying in a private jetbut
shields himself from braggart backlash with
convenient hashtags like #Blessed.
TYPICAL TWEET Almost broke my ass cliff-
diving in Cabo. Thanks to the staff at our pri-
vate villa, Im still alive! #Grateful
FAVE OR UNFOLLOW? You may have written
this dude off as a total d-bag, but maybe hes
just hypermotivated. Who cares how many
Instas he posts of his sick vacation if youre
sipping margs on the lounge next to him?
The Humblebragger
Sad news, folks.
The Academy has
decided not to
have me and
Waka Flocka
Flame cohost the
Oscars this year.
@AzizAnsari
re
?
y
t I just
PJ.
ick
past fueling his self-
deprecating dark comed
His former religion is rhinestone-encrusted trucker hats.
So why is he suddenly om-ing and sipping green juice?
TYPICAL TWEET Another #NoFilter post-Bikram sunrise
in the parkfeeling at one with nature. #Namaste
FAVE OR UNFOLLOW? If you dont mind his man bun and
no-deodorant policy, jump his bones like yesterday. Just
dont get matching tattoos. His next life phase is hipster,
and hes probably about to grow an ironic mustache.
The Faux Yogi
Love is my
religion.
@AdamLevine
A lot of things get said
about meand it hurts
especially that people
believe it.
@JustinBieber
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man

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gy
your guide to the male brain
WATCHING GAME OF
THRONES. WUT UP?
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 129
THE TRUTH ABOUT
GUYS AND
VALENTINES DAY
Dont let your manfriend play clueless:
92 percent of dudes we surveyed know
V Day is Feb. 14. But how does he really
feel about the Super Bowl of Romance?
Valentines Day
is awesome.
You dont take
her to nice-ass
restaurants
every day. Man
up, and do some
cool shit for her!
Steve V., 24
Valentines
Day makes me
nervous. Im
terried of not
being able to
plan the right
romantic date.
Thom K., 23
The top night of the
year to easily hook
up with a woman
of B- hotness whos
depressed about not
having a date.
Will J., 32
Its sort of like the
New Years of Feb-
ruary: The expecta-
tions girls have are
always too high.
Jay B., 31
I get to nish
all the candy
my girlfriend
wont eat, and
she cant yell at
me for vegging
out. Y-E-S!
Ron H., 23
CUPID
STUPID
Yet another day
to potentially
disappoint your
girl. Its the ulti-
mate challenge
of caring enough
to make her
feel special and
not overdoing it
with a cheesy
prix-xe dinner.
David T., 30
Putting
on a good
Valentines
Day showing
should lead to a
fantastic romp
in the hay.
Joe B., 31
If guys
ask, Im too
macho to care.
But secretly, I love
Valentines Day.
Its a chance for us
romantic guys to
be mushy without
admitting we like
the hearts-and-
owers crap too.
Mike K., 26
MANSWER METER
Its in
February,
right?
Rick V., 30
L.P.
ay
feel ab
ask,
Valentines Day

Steve V., 24
tting
good
ntines
showing
d lead to a
stic
Its sort of like kkkkkkkkkkk thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhe
New Years of Feb-
prix-xe dinner.
David T., 30
I get to nishhhhhhhhhhhh
all the candy
GUY GRAPHS
Want a glimpse into your future relationship?
Check this data about his dateability.
What Hes Planning for Valentines Day 1
How Helpful Hell Be Around the House 2
What Hell Wear to Meet Your Parents
3
ALEX ENGLER
Is this bowtie
too much?
Oops, this
fleece still
smells like
beer.
H
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v
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B
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o
B
i
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l
e
.
c
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Pairs of non-sneakers he owns
Turns white laundry
pink. Every time.
Once remodeled
his cousins
basement;
knows how to
snake a drain
H
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Attachment to his mother
H
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His dedication to Halo
Relationship-
themed scavenger
hunt; rose petals
are involved
Be happy if you get
a text by 10 p.m.
0
0
0
10
10
10
10
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10
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134 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
BETRAYAL
baby
WHEN A FRIEND gets pregnant, YOUR
relationship IS BOUND TO EXPERIENCE SOME
growing painsBUT THAT DOESNT MEAN
YOU CANT (EVENTUALLY) FIND A BALANCE
BETWEEN CRIBS AND COCKTAILS.
BY ALYSSA SHELASKY
YOURE USED TO
GIRL-TALK
BRUNCHES AND
happy
hours
WITH HER. YOU
DONT WANT TO
LOSE THAT BOND.
SHES IN THE
LAND OF BABY
NAMES AND
breast
pumps.
SHE IS PSYCHED
AND WANTS
YOUR SUPPORT.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY PERRY HAGOPIAN
Lets be blunt: When you find out a
friend is expecting, you feel excited
for herand if youre being honest,
you may also feel a littlebetrayed.
It might sound horrible and selfish,
but this happy time for her may be a
hard one for you. Ive been there. Its
real, and it hurts.
And no, feeling hurt does not
make you evil, because theres no
denying things are about to change
big-time. Good-bye, Bloody Mary
brunches and impromptu after-
work socializing. Hello, ultrasounds
and sleep-deprived zombie-mom on F
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*
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Love, Lust & Other Stuff
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 135
diaper duty. The first time a friend
got pregnant, I felt as though she
were abandoning our girl code and
way of lifehanging out late, drink-
ing dirty martinis, and living a little
dangerouslywithout my vote. She
went from being up for anything to
wanting to stay home and nest. The
few times I did drag her away from
the baby-naming books (Aiden!
Liam! Hudson!), shed want to talk
only about her overtaxed bladder,
which I was happy to sympathize
withto a point. And I obviously had
to drink alone. Ugh.
When my friend got pregnant, I
felt so betrayed, confesses Madi R.*,
27, from Boston. My first thought
was Why are you opting out of our
awesome, fun life together? And
how can you leave me stranded here,
forced to make new friends without
even checking with me first? It hit
me hard, and I used her pregnancy
as a catalyst to freak out about my
own life statusthat Id chosen the
wrong guys, that my job was going
nowhere. And just when I was hav-
ing this existential crisis, she was
busy stroller shopping and at doc-
tors appointments. It was like a
catch-22, Madi says. I needed a
friend who knew me on the level that
she did to talk me off the ledge, and
she just wasnt available.
Well, of course she wasnt avail-
ableshe was preparing for one of
the most life-changing events shell
ever experience. We know this intel-
lectually, so why do we still feel so
hurt when it happens?
pregnant PAUSE
When a baby disrupts the friend-
ship as you know it, it can feel like
the pregnant friend compromised
everything without your consent,
says Lisa Brateman, a relationship
therapist in New York City, who con-
firms youre not an insensitive gar-
bage person for feeling this way.
Feelings of abandonment, anger,
rejection, and betrayal are normal
in this situation, she says.
A friends pregnancy not only can
feel like a violation of your friend-
ship pact, but its also a big hit on
ones social life. When my best
friend at work got pregnant, I
wanted to sob, says Erica G., 30,
from Binghamton, New York. Sud-
denly, she was always tired and not
drinkingand we always had a
glass of wine to unwind after work.
Without that ritual, I felt off bal-
ance. Brateman says the drinking-
for-one component throws salt on
an already stinging wound. No one
likes to drink alone! This is another
layer of loss in the friendship and
your view of the quality of your time
together, she says. Also, you might
feel judged because youre drinking
and shes not. Been there.
If its any consolation, your
friends inability to remain the
same person and friend after she
gets knocked up isnt personal,
its science. As soon as a
woman becomes preg-
nant, nature takes over,
says Rita Eichenstein, PhD,
a developmental psycholo-
gist at Cedars-Sinai Medi-
cal Center in Los Angeles. Its not
that shes consciously pulling away,
its simply biology. Her body, brain,
and hormones are changing. And
like it or not, theres nothing either
of you can really do about it.
The sooner you realize that your
friendship isnt going to stay the
same, the sooner you can start
ensuring things change for the
better, not worse. Ready for some
tough love? The first thing you
need to do (after a couple of nights
of sulking, of course) is realize that
your feelings of betrayal and anger
may say more about you than they
do about your friends pregnancy.
Use this as an opportunity for a
personal awakening, says Brate-
man. Get in touch with yourself
and figure out what youre really
feeling. Maybe you want what she
hasa husband and baby on the
way. Or maybe that life is not for
you and youre just coming to
terms with that. It could be time to
make more friends who share your
vision of what a happy life is. For
Melissa P., 32, from San Francisco,
who experienced extreme jealousy
and mild rage over a friends preg-
nancy, her reaction prompted her
to join three online-dating services
to get the show on the road. Thats
how she met her husbandand
theyre now expecting.
mommy AND ME
Some other good news: Friendships
that get damaged during a preg-
nancy do tend to self-repair if they
were solid to begin with, says Irene
S. Levine, PhD, author of Best
Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup
With Your Best Friend. You need
time to work through these feelings
and find ways to renegotiate the
friendship, she adds. Hopefully,
youll get to a place where you realize
that this wasnt a personal assault.
Still, the relationship might not
look the same when it comes out on
the other side. When my friends
son turned 2, we became close
again, says Lauren W., 30, from
Philadelphia. But our connection
is different now. I have this new
respect for her because shes a great
mom, and I learn from her every day.
Im glad I gave it another shot
because we mean even more to each
other now than we did before.
In my case, my pregnant friend
turned out to be on a different path
than I was, and we drifted apart.
I wish her only good things, but
ultimately, I needed to find other,
like-minded women with whom
I could connectand Im glad I did.
Whether you want kids, have
kids, or hate kids, its good for your
friendshipand yourselfto
consider the situation from your
pregnant friends point of view. Her
hormones are out of whack, her body
is bloated, and if this is her first kid,
theres a good chance shes really,
really scared. Maybe this time, she
needs you more than you need her.
This could be an opportunity to be
your most selfless and compassion-
ate selfwhile bonding over some
salted caramel ice cream, of course.
And if thats just too hard
and your feelings are too confus-
ing and complicated to pretend
like everythings fineI, for one,
can understand.
SUDDENLY, SHE WAS ALWAYS TIRED
AND NOT DRINKING. WE ALWAYS
HAD A GLASS OF WINE TO UNWIND
AFTER WORK. WITHOUT THAT RITUAL,
I FELT OFF BALANCE.
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.
ADAM AND
HIS BROS
ADAM
SKATEBOARDING
ADAM AT THE
CAMPSITE
ADAM WITH HIS
MAIN BOYS
LOVE HEARING
ADAM PLAY
ADAM WITH
HIS FAM!
LOOK AT HIS
MUSCLES
ADAM AND
HIS BOSS
LOOK AT HIS
HOT ABS
ADAM MAKING
A FACE
ADAM AT MY
SISTERS WEDDING
ADAM LOOKING
ADORABLE
ADAM IN
ORLANDO!
ADAM WEARING
HIS FAVE GLASSES
ADAMS
FAVORITE CAR!
PHOTOGRAPHED BY JOEL BARHAMAND
P
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LLovvee,, LLuustt && OOther Sttuuuuffffff
hen Kim Berlin fell in love for the first
time, she fell hard. He was the first per-
son Id been with sexually, says Berlin,
who was a college freshman at the time.
Maybe it was because she was new to dating, but
she admits, I was crazy, crazy obsessive. For
one thing, she had a hard time accepting that her
new guy had ever been with anyone else. I was
consumed with his high school girlfrienda
redhead, Berlin recalls. I literally started fol-
lowing redheads down the street to see what
they had that I didnt. It didnt help that her guy
seemed to get off on making her jealous. Once,
he casually mentioned that he was haunted by
his ex, a remark that left Berlin constantly wor-
ried that she would lose him. For a while, he even
kept the redheads photo on his desk. When it
disappeared, instead of feeling relieved, Berlin
waited until he was out of town, then tore
through piles of his boxes until she unearthed
the hated image, just so she could stare at it.
The only time I felt at peace was when he was
napping next to me in bed, she says.
Ah, obsessive love. Lena Dunhams Hannah
felt it for the elusive Adam during the first season
of Girls. Anastasia felt it for Fifty Shades tor-
tured-but-hot Grey. And if youve ever truly been
head over heels, youve felt it too: the butterflies
before you see your crush, the wrenching anxiety
as you wait for his text, the over-the-top elation
when you get it, the two hours spent analyzing
WHAT DRIVES A WOMAN TO GO THROUGH A GUYS E-MAIL, LINGER
OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE IN THE POURING RAIN, OR DITCH HER BEST
FRIENDS FOR THE CHANCE TO POSSIBLY RUN INTO HER CRUSH DU
JOUR? THE ANSWER MAY LIE WITHIN THE SAME TINY AREA OF THE
BRAIN THAT FUELS OUR MOST DESTRUCTIVE ADDICTIONS.
when
love
turns
his message (What does he mean by BRB?),
the inability to think about anything else.
While it sounds kind of crazy (and indeed,
we wouldnt recommend following strangers
down the street if you dont want to get arrested),
in some ways this kind of behavior is totally
normal. I would say that if you dont experience
some degree of obsessive thinking as a relation-
ship takes hold, youre not truly in love, says
Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist at
Rutgers University, in New Jersey. Blame it on
evolution: Once we find someone we believe is
right for us, were literally driven to pursue that
person. Thats the way the brain is built.
Wired to Obsess
In the early stages of love, youre pretty much
drunk on dopaminethe brain chemical linked
with feelings of ecstasy, cravings, even addiction,
says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a professor of sociol-
ogy at the University of Washington at Seattle and
coauthor of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets
of Happy Couples. Brain-imaging studies by Fisher
and her research team found that when smitten
people look at a photo of their beloved, activity
sparks up in a tiny area of the midbrain known as
the ventral tegmental area, bathing your synapses
with druglike waves of feel-good dopamine. Its
the brains reward systemthe purpose is to cre-
ate wanting, craving, and focused energy, Fisher
explains. Scarily, its the exact same circuit that
gets triggered in cocaine addicts. Once its acti-
I went straight to
I refused to be a one-night stand, so I did
everything in my power g
until his brother opened the door.
to make it happen again.
y p y p
his apartment, knocking and g sobbing
BY PAULA DERROW
THE STAGES OF OBSESSIVE LOVE
SOURCE: JOHN D. MOORE, PHD, AUTHOR OF CONFUSING LOVE WITH OBSESSION: WHEN BEING IN LOVE MEANS BEING IN CONTROL
THE ATTRACTION
PHASE
For an obsessive lover,
attraction happens almost
instantly and its hard-core.
You decide someone is right
for you (hes hot, he writes
poetry), and you zoom in like
a heat-seeking missile.
THE ANXIOUS PHASE
Maybe a few days have
passed since youve met,
maybe a few weeks, but
youre already freaking out
if he doesnt text (What
did I do? Whats wrong with
me? He must have met
someone else already!).
THE OBSESSIVE PHASE
Youre willing to do almost
anything to find out whats
going on with him. That could
mean walking or driving by
his house, hacking into his
e-mail, secretly checking his
texts, or spending hours on
his Twitter or FB (or stalking
his friends accounts).
THE DESTRUCTION
PHASE
The relationship ends, often
because your crush cant take
your intensity. You feel empti-
ness, self-blame, self-hatred,
and rage. Sometimes, these
emotions can lead to acts of
revenge. Often, they lead to
deep depression.
I walked past his home at least
It didnt matter how he treated me.
vated, it leaves you highly motivated to get what youre
afer, whether its drugs or a person, says Fisher. Weve
proven that romantic love can be just as powerful as an
addiction. I know someone who, afer her boyfriend
dumped her, took 10 years to get over it. Once we get it into
our head that someone would be a good life partner, the
brain is very well built to turn a person into a doormat.
Fishers MRI studies also suggest that when someone
is crazy in love, the insular cor-
tex, a brain region associated
with anxiety, lights up like a
Christmas tree. Which is why,
when your crushs texts stop
coming (He said he would
BRB!), you immediately worry
that someone has broken into
his place and killed him. Or
that hes with another girl.
Because what else could it be?
Then theres the roiling mix
of hormones that make you
sexually hungry for the object
of your obsession. For Jordan
Katz, 25, the chemistry was
instantaneous when she met
an older media magnate in an
L.A. club. His age (35) and suc-
cess were a potent combina-
tion, and she was instantly attracted. That night, he took
me to his place, and I basically stayed there for a week,
just the two of us. My friends were freaking out, Katz
recalls. That set the tone for their relationship. Hed pick
me up, and wed go back to his place and have sex, Katz
says. Then hed leave me in the apartment and go out
he said I looked too young for him to take out in public
and Id happily cook him dinner. It didnt matter how he
treated me. He was all I wanted.
When you start to feel a little bit in love, your testos-
terone activity increases and everything about the per-
son becomes sexually attractive, explains Fisher. It
also works the other way around: If you fall into bed
with a stranger, hormones are releasedoxytocin and
vasopressinthat can boost your feelings of attach-
ment, she says. Contrary to urban legend, what matters
most in terms of initial sexual attraction isnt the chem-
icals known as pheromones (in other animals, phero-
mones are detected by a heightened sense of smell and
tend to drive mating behavior). In humans, sexual
desire is driven by something Fisher calls the brains
love map: that list of things you subconsciously look for
in a mate, whether its success, accent, body type, or
whatever gets you going. Although
studies suggest hormones play a role in
why were drawn to certain people (for
instance, some research suggests
women feel hornierand are more
alluring to menduring ovulation),
desire has more to do with what were
looking for and how that person
responds to us than it does any mix of
odors or hormones, Schwartz says.
Chemistry aside, this cant-eat-or-
sleep phase of love eventually shifts into
the I-can-see-his-faults phase. We still
find dopamine-related craving activity
in the brains of newlyweds whove been
together for several years, says Fisher.
But typically, the hysterical obsession
dissipates after a year or so. If it didnt,
no one would get anything done. Or wed
all end up dead, like Romeo and Juliet.
Not good for the survival of the species.
When Normal Love Turns Crazy
For some people, though, this crazy-making love doesnt
dissipate. Instead, it persists even when a guy breaks his
promisesor rarely drops byor accidentally texts a
photo of another womans boobs. Whats crazier is that
on-again, o-again attention can actually fuel obsessive
love, even in an otherwise levelheaded woman.
Thats what happened when Steph, 26, met a guy
named Jason* right before she was about to move to
Spain for a long-awaited chance to teach English there.
I fell in love with him instantly. We were inseparable,
and we talked about moving in together when I got
AS AN
POWERFUL

LOVE
CAN BE
JUST AS
ADDICTION.


He was all I wanted.
OBSESSION
CONFESSIONS
I created a fake Facebook account with a generic name
and Friended the new girlfriend of an ex I was obsessed
with so I could stalk her Wall and pictures and see what
they were up to together. I kept the account until they
broke upeight months later.
Mary G.*, 24
When I found out my high school boyfriend was
cheating on me, I went to his school, pretended to be
a nurse who needed to get him his medicine, walked
to his classroom, then drove a knife into his desk and
said, This is what youve done to my heart.
Judy C., 25
When I was 22, my boyfriend, a doctor, dumped me. I
was heartbroken, and although I knew he was seeing
someone else, Id call him up and wed meet and have
sexin his office, on exam tables. Then one time, we
were in the on call room, and he left for a patient check.
I dont know what possessed me, but I started searching
his jacket pockets. Right there with my sorry, pathetic
hands, I found the engagement ring hed gotten for his
soon-to-be fiance!
Cara D., 30
I was leaving for Europe for a few months, and to
make sure he didnt forget me, I hid 370 sticky
notesone for every day wed been togetherall
around his house to remind him of the little things I
loved about him. It sounds sweet, but months after
we broke up, he and his new live-in girlfriend were
still discovering my Post Itsin his suit pockets, the
freezer, in medicine bottles. What can I say? Im
really good at surprises.
Jess C., 28
In college, I had a thing with a guy who pretty much had
a thing with everyone, but I was sure our thing was love
maybe because it was the best sex Id had up until that
point. Eventually, he got a real girlfriend, but I was still so
obsessed, I purposely stayed on campus over break
(because they were there), loitering near their house for
hours over the course of three days, wearing a short skirt
that was so inappropriate for the freezing cold.
Sadie M., 29
I went crazy Facebook-stalking this married guy at
work who was flirting with me. I spent a year going
online for at least an hour a night, typing his friends
names into search engines and trying to piece
together the puzzle of his life. After a while, Id spend
as much time doing this on his friends and families
pages as I did on hisI couldnt stop. I eventually
had to leave the job to break the cycle.
Jade S., 31
THE CRAZY STUFF READERS DID FOR LOVE
three times a day. s
back, she recalls. Steph even proposed calling off her
dream trip. He was very against that, Steph says, under
the guise of being supportive.
So off she went. I wrote him love e-mails every day,
sent him videos of my life there. No reply. (Or, as they say
in Spain, nada.) Yet she didnt doubt his love for a second,
not when he started sounding distant and weird on the
phoneor when he failed to pick up at all. Then during an
infrequent call, he dumped her with no explanation.
Instead of writing him off as a jerk, Steph got on the next
plane home, sobbing through the entire intercontinental
flight. I went straight to his apartment, knocking and
sobbing until his brother opened the door. He told me
Jason hadnt been into our relationship for a while. That
should have been clear to me by then.
This dogged determination is a common result when
one partner plays hard to get. The biggest reason a
healthy, normal infatuation fails to mature and instead
shifts into an unhealthy obsession is when someone
gives you just enough attention and encouragement to
fuel your feelings but not enough for you to feel sure of
him, says Schwartz. Its the yes, I will; no, I wont pat-
tern that makes sane people go totally nuts. In other
words, when you get only occasional little hits of that love
drug, the cravings just get stronger.
Are You the Obsessive Type?
Sometimes, though, a bad case of obsessive love can take
hold with virtually no encouragement. Ofen, people get
hooked on the looktheyre attracted to someone because
hes hot or a bad boy, and they ignore warning signs that the
person might not be right for themor even interested in
them, says psychotherapist John D. Moore, PhD, author of
Confusing Love With Obsession. I met this guy at a college
party and slept with him that night, says Ann, a communi-
cations strategist in Atlanta. I refused to be a one-night
stand, so I did everything in my power to make it happen
again. She got a copy of his class schedule from a friend
who worked in the registrars oce, and I planted my ass
in his path for months, she says. I hung around the lan-
guage lab even though I didnt take a language class. I
cased the bar where he played darts. I walked past his home
at least three times a day, a home that was located at the top
of a steep hillin rain, snow, it didnt matterjust to get a
glimpse of the guy. Perhaps not surprisingly, her eorts
didnt amount to much: He turned into a one-year stand
the guy I sometimes had sex with.
Most of us have been guilty of committing at least one
or two drive-bys or walk-bys, as Moore calls them, not to
mention stalking the object of our obsession on Facebook
and Instagram. But psychologists believe certain person-
ality types are particularly vulnerable to falling into these
all-consuming patterns. People who grew up in homes
with alcoholism or who dont have nurturing parents may
be prone to forming what experts call anxious or avoidant
attachment stylesbecoming clingy or pursuing guys
who are never quite available. With an anxious attacher,
if a guy doesnt call, shell assume its her fault. She doesnt
*Some names have been changed to protect the obsessed.
*Mens names have been changed.
Love, Lust & Other Stuff
140 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
I jumped out of a moving car
because I was so pissed at him.
youve probably done (or felt) at least a few
of the things on this list. But according to
psychotherapist John D. Moore, if these emo-
tions or behaviors kick in at hello (or soon
after), last well past the initial head-over-
heels phase, or happen time and time again
despite a crushs lack of interest or unreliabil-
ity, thats a sign your love may be unhealthy.
If youve ever had an insane crush,
Youre not one to go slowly when
it comes to love. Once you
fall, you fall hard.
yes
no
Youre not comfortable unless you
know how he spends every
minuteand youll question him
(not to mention SCROLL THROUGH HIS
TEXTS or e-mail) until you find out.
yes
no
Youve always been close to your fam-
ily and girlfriends. Except when
you meet someone. Then you
drop everyone like a HOT POTATO.
never! I guess definitely
You CANT focus on workor anything else
because youre constantly thinking
about when youll see him next, what hes
doing now, and why he isnt texting you this
VERY MINUTE.
yes
no
You IGNORE WARNING SIGNS that
your crush may not be good for you,
because youre so totally sure
your heart is never wrong.
Instead of being yourself
around your crush, you walk
on EGGSHELLS, CONSTANTLY
CENSORING yourself so he
continues to like you.
yes
maybe
no
feel whole when shes not with him, explains Arthur Aron, a
social psychologist at Stony Brook University, in New York.
Avoidant attachers tend to be happy even when their feelings
arent fully requited, because they get the excitement of the back-
and-forth without actual commitment.
Kim Berlin stuck things out with her college beau for four
years, partly because of the drama. We had a very heated sexual
relationship, as well as giant screaming fights on the street.
Wed break up and get back together. One time, I jumped out of a
moving car because I was so pissed at him.
If all this doesnt sound like a very good relationship founda-
tion (never mind life-threatening), it isnt. When you get overly
intense too fast, its inevitable that what you fear most will hap-
penthe person you love will be scared away, warns Schwartz.
How to Break the Cycle
Not coincidentally, the cure for obsessive love is the same one
recommended to any other addict: Gather your support network
around you, and drop the obsession cold turkey.
First, though, you have to recognize your own behavior: Do
you go from 0 to 60 really quickly? Does a crush become your
whole world almost immediately, despite warning signs that he
may not be good for you? (If youre not sure, take a look at the
checklist at left.) Once you see your patterns, says Moore, you
have an opportunity to create positive change.
The next step: Quit the object of your obsessionno easing
out, no residual sleepovers. An all-or-nothing approach is crucial
to breaking the addiction. Every time you Google him, youre
getting a little hit of dopamine, and your cravings only get
stronger, says Fisher. De-Friend him, unfollow him, block him,
delete his texts from your phonethe whole deal. Then vow not
to contact him and that you wont respond if he contacts you.
It helps to have friends hold you accountable, says
Schwartz. Tell them that youre not allowed to mention his
name in their presence, and make them hold you to it. If you
cant sleep or get work done or youre miserable for weeks on end,
Moore recommends seeing a therapist who specializes in
cognitive behavioral therapy. The goal with CBT is to replace
irrational thoughtsthat you must be with someone to feel
completewith a healthier view of love, he explains.
For Berlin, her tumultuous relationship ended when she dis-
covered her boyfriend had done the thing she feared most: slept
with his redheaded ex. Disgusted, Berlin started hanging out
with nicer guys, including a work buddy who was the opposite of
the cheater. Ethan wasnt on my romantic radar at all, she
admits. But I was very much myself with him, and our friend-
ship caught fire. It wasnt dramatic. There were no screaming
fights or leaps from moving vehicles. I wasnt afraid of losing
himand I fell for that sense of comfort and intimacy, Berlin
says. So much so, that after dating for a year and a half, the two
got married. In every other relationship, I never fully felt that I
had the person, she says. But with Ethan, things felt solid, sta-
ble, and true. I never recognized that as love before, but now I
know its the real deal.
?
is it love or
eil* was one of the biggest jocks at my high
schoolsuper fit and full of swagger.
Except he was my 47-year-old varsity coach,
and I was a 17-year-old virgin obsessed with getting
him in bed.
Neil looked just like Richard Gereand was kind
of a dick. He was a computer-science teacher and a
very tough coach. I threw discus, but I was no junior
Olympian so he really didnt give me the time of
day. I was so jealous of the girls who got to go to state
championships and stay at hotels with him.
Although Neil had a wife, I knew his marriage was
rocky and his wife was 17 years his juniorit fueled
my fire to know that he liked younger women. Ive
always been attracted to older men. I like the chal-
lenge. I kissed his ass at practice, showing up early,
lingering late. I knew he wasnt impressed with me
in track, so I guess I was trying to winhim.
I started by taking all of Neils classeslike
graphic designeven though I had no interest in that
shit. I took certain routes through the hallways,
showing up wherever hed be. I gave Neil a CD filled
with make-out music (lots of Dave Matthews). But he
never gave in. He actually approached a young,
female teacher and asked her to tell me to back off.
I bawled out of humiliation and didnt go back to prac-
tice for a couple of days. Even after graduation, I had
Neils number from the team phone list, and Id call
and say, Hi, do you need help with the Special Olym-
pics? He was still a little standoffish, but all I could
do was go after what I wanted.
I went off to college, hooked up, and lost my virgin-
ity, but I still thought about Neil nonstop. I called him
every few weeks, and the more we talked, the more
I felt him starting to treat me like an adult. When I
came home from college that Christmas, Neil invited
me to watch a hockey game. By then I was 19, and he
was separated. I shaved my bikini line and drove over
to his house, shaking with excitement. He had me
park at a bank down the road from his house because
he was still legally married, but I didnt even care that
I was being hidden. My heart was pounding, but I
wasnt nervous. He made the first move, and we
started making out. There was no
BJ. He didnt go down on me. We
just got right to it: It was all about
a man, his dick, this young chick,
and sex. Was he good in bed? Now
that Im older, I can honestly say no. But at the time,
Id had sex only once before, so it wasnt disappointing
to me at all. Afterward, almost immediately, he said,
Are you ready to go? I felt crushed. I just wanted to
stay there and talk to him.
I transferred to a college in our hometown to be
closer to Neil. Id drive down to the bank, hed pick me
up, wed fuck, and I would leave right after. I was just
happy to be sleeping with him. The assistant track-
coach position opened at our old high school, and Neil
surprised me and said, Come on board. He was
divorced now, lonely, and liked my company. We went
to states together, just like Id dreamed about. Hed
sneak into my room for sex. People were talking, but I
didnt care. I was doing exactly what I wanted to do.
I convinced Neil to let me crash in the extension
on his house. I confided in the same young teacher
who Neil had asked to talk to me about the CD. She
said, Youre beautiful, youre young, and theres no
future there. I wanted to get married and have
babies eventually, and Neil wouldnt even kiss me in
public. We started to fight a lot. I felt like all he was
really giving me was sex. Id say, I love you, Neil, but
he wouldnt say it back. He was 51; he knew what real
love was. I had yet to learn.
After two years living with Neil, my obsession
started melting away. Id fought so hard to get what
I wanted, and now I had it. Id basically won. Right
before I moved out, I got a call that Neil had suffered a
stroke, and hed put me down as executor in his will. I
was the closest person to him, and it freaked me out. I
loved him, but I wasnt in love with him anymore.
After the stroke, Neil couldnt speak or write. Out of
loyalty, I helped him with his speech therapy. He cried
a lot and told me he missed me. I felt guilty, but I
wanted a different future. Even after Neil, I was still
turned on by the challenge of an older guy. My next
boyfriend was 17 years older. Neil and I are still
friends, and I dont regret going after him. I was just
chasing what I wanted. I say follow your heartbut
know the difference between love and obsession. You
might pour years of your life into someone, only to
realize that it was all just an infatuation.
WHAT STARTED AS A TEENAGE DREAM BECAME AN ADULT OBSES-
SION FOR JAMIE*, NOW 30, WHO WAS SO HOT FOR HER HIGH
SCHOOL TEACHER, SHE STOPPED AT NOTHING TO SEDUCE HIM.
AS TOLD TO MICHELLE RUIZ
I WAS
WITH MY
*Names have been changed.
written by ARIEL SCHRAG AND TRISH BENDIX
Special
REPORT
142 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Cosmo celebrates all women
GAY, STRAIGHT, AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN
(BTW, theres evidence that womens sexuality spans
the spectrum more than mens does). From debunking common
lesbian myths to answering our gay readers most pressing
questions to a What does it all mean? quiz for those whove
kissed a girl and liked itheres to the ladies!
photographed by ANNA WOLF
WHO LIKE
MEET COCO
AND ASHLEY
Theyre a real couple we love.
Cocos an art director
(she designed this story!),
and Ashley is a chef and food
stylist. They live together in
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and
throw killer dinner parties.
Anyone else have a girl crush?
143
BUT WHICH
ONE OF YOU
IS THE MAN?
Lesbians know everything
about lesbians. How many of
us there are, how we have sex,
if we were born that wayI can answer
only for myself. Youll have to ask the
other 334,263,983 for their story. That
said, I will now proceed to speak for all
lesbians as I debunk some other myths.
Lesbians are vegetarians.
A familiar scene: Im at a dinner
party, and the host has prepared
some delicious roast-chicken dish. He or
she then turns to me and says, Oh! And
Ariel, we made something vegetarian
too. (Im not a vegetarian.) Because, I
suppose, if a woman doesnt want to put a
penis in her mouth, all other meat must
be off-limits as well?
SERIOUSLY?
Cats are okay,
but Tank the pit bull is
everything.
Im out for breakfast with my
extended family. Our group is
large, and lots of conversations
are going on. Somehow, the
topic turns to lesbians. An aunt
sitting a few seats away loudly
asks: Ariel, how many lesbians
are there in the world?
334,263,984, I say. Just kid-
ding. Actually, I answer, Uh, I
dont know. And feel awkward.
And like I have a giant LED
board across my chest reading
Lesbian! This is the first mis-
con ception about lesbians.
.. AND OTHER LESBIAN
MYTHS, DEBUNKED
BY ARIEL SCHRAG
WHO LIKE
MYTH
1
MYTH
2
MYTH
4
Know Your
LESBIAN LINGO
/ Baby dyke / A newly out lesbian,
usually under the age of 30. Shell require a lot
of guidance and Tegan and Sara albums.
/ Butch / Big Booalikes (Lea
DeLaria in Orange Is the New Black),
who would never wear a dress.
Lesbians
Love Cats
Here we have
some crossover
with a stereotype
about spinsters,
who, like
lesbians, dont
have men in their
lives, a void they
supposedly fill
with animals
called pussy.
Cats are fine and
all, but frankly,
the majority of
lesbians I know
are obsessed
with pit bulls.
myth
144 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Lesbians hate men. The people
who consistently complain
about men are straight women.
Lesbians dont care. If we want to be
friends with a man, we will. If we dont,
we, unlike straight women, have no
needs that can be met only by men. In
general, people hate others when they
need something theyre not getting from
them. Anything else is just finding
someone annoying. (I will also add that
not all lesbians share mens assumed
love of sports. I suck at and know
absolutely nothing at all about sports.)
/ Femme / A lesbian who
pre fers stilettos to sneakers (a
preferred term to lipstick lesbian).
/ Boi / An androgynous girl, the type who com-
prises most of the entries on the Lesbians Who Look
Like Justin Bieber blog. (Also called a baby butch.)
/ LHB / A long-haired
butch; usually an athlete who
sports a ponytail.
In a lesbian relationship,
one woman is the man.
My girlfriend, Charlotte, and I
recently met up with an old friend of hers.
Charlotte said, Were gonna see a movie
later. Her friend responded: In a lesbian
relationship, does someone take on the role
of the man? Neither Charlotte nor I
appear especially masculine. But some-
how, many people believe that unless its
been esta b lished which woman takes on
that crucial role of the man, the relation-
ship cant func tion. What does the man
even mean? The per son on top during sex?
The one who insists on driving? The one
who more often pays? I know plenty of
straight relation ships in which the woman
claims all these roles.
ARIEL SCHRAG is the author of several graphic memoirs. She has written for
The L Word and How to Make It in America. Her novel, Adam, will be out this spring.
MYTH
5
MYTH
8
MYTH
9
MYTH
7
All lesbians love and are good
at oral sex. They dont and arent.
Im not knocking oral sex; its
great stuff. But some lesbians simply
dont care for it. This myth brings us to
that all-consuming question: How do
lesbians have sex? I love that people
dont know the answer. It makes the
sex I have seem so exciting! Not that
biology-textbook, farm-animals-mating
kind of sex straight people have.
Elusive, mysterious lesbian sex! Youll
just have to keep on guessingokay, fine,
Ill tell you how we do it. You know the
body parts women have? Try putting
them together in every way possible and
throw in some dildos if you want. Theres
a fair amount of trial and error. We have
no more information than you do.
Its easier to be in a lesbian
relationship than a straight one,
because women understand
each other. Dead wrong. No relationship
is ever easy. But while were thinking
in stereo types, try putting two moody,
passive-aggressive people together
as a couple. Id take the straightforward,
just-wants-consistent-sex guy any day.
And to address an even more offensive
myth: No, lesbians arent lesbians because
they cant snag a man. Some people will
see a les bian they deem unattractive and
believe shes too ugly or masculine for any
man to want her. Or theyll see a beautiful
lesbian and think that she has been
wronged by a man and thats why she
switched teams. Nope, not the case. It
doesnt work that way.
Lesbians identify as lesbians. Like many lesbians, Im not
crazy about the word lesbian. Its so polysyllabic and clinical
sounding. Gay is quick and to the point, but I cant get over
that it also means lighthearted and carefree. Queer is popular but
comes with a political edge that may not feel right. And what qualifies
someone as a lesbian anyway? Do you need to have sex only with
women? Have had a long-term relationship with a woman? Why are
we so set on labeling something as amorphous and fluid as sexual
attraction? Its a dumb, if not impossible, endeavor. Those are my
words of lesbian wisdom. Now I need to get back to feeding my rescue
cat its vegan meal before the WNBA semifinals come on.
All lesbians stay
emotionally involved with
their ex-girlfriends. Really. My friend
Amy recently woke up in the middle of the
night to find her girlfriend having a tearful
phone conversation with her ex. Instead
of saying what a guy or girl in a straight
relationship might saysomething like
What the fuck are you doing on the
phone with your ex?Amy understood
and gently asked, Is she okay? I cur-
rently know two sets of lesbians who are
in happy relationships but still in couples
counselingwith their ex-girlfriends.
Now that Ive exposed these
myths to the illuminating light
of the sapphic sun, lets talk about
TWO LESBIAN
MYTHS THAT
ARE TRUE
All lesbians have shown
up to meet a girlfriend or
a friend only to discover they are
wearing the exact same outfit.
H
A
I
R
/
M
A
K
E
U
P
:

B
R
I
T

C
O
C
H
R
A
N

U
S
I
N
G

C
H
A
N
E
L

A
T

A
R
T

D
E
P
A
R
T
M
E
N
T
.

FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 145
Butch
Lesbians
Want to
Be Men

Theres no other
way to put this:
Butch, masculine
women do not
want to be men.
A woman who
identifies as a
man and takes
steps to transition
into one is called
a trans man. But
butch women
want to be just
what they are:
butch women.
And, yes, many
women (and
some men) find
masculine
women very
attractive.
myth
146 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
I decided I would rst tell my friend
Maggie, who Id known since I was 6.
We went to dinner, and with my
stomach in my throat, I said, So, that
news I have to tell you? Im gay. With
that, more than 20 years of having a
500-pound weight on my back
lifted.Maggie just smiled and said,
Finally! We both laughed for a good
ve minutes, and I felt so amazing
afterward. Amy S., 29, Waltham, MA
It was college-graduation day when I came out
to my family. They dont really accept it, but they
love me. So like a lot of black families, you just
dont really talk about it. It broke my heart that I
couldnt tell my little cousin that the boy I was
dating at the time was really my girlfriend.
Tieara M., 32, Chicago, IL
My parents confronted me one
Sunday after church in high
school. My mom had read my
journal. She sobbed and sobbed.
They kept asking me, Why and
how? And I kept replying, I just
am. My mother said, It makes me
sick to my stomach to have a gay daughter. Even in that horrible moment,
I remember thinking that finally talking about my sexuality was the most freeing
feeling of my life. I whimpered out of my parents house that night, and a friend met
me and bought me cake-flavored ice cream to celebrate. Arizona N., 29, Brooklyn, NY
I told friends while backpacking in
Europe. They said they already knew since
Id stopped talking about guys and been in a
lot of productions of The Vagina Monologues.
Hayley B., 26, Toronto, ONT
COMING OUT
More...
LESBIAN LINGO
CONFESSIONS
I was on an eighth-grade eld trip
and had momentarily lost sight
of one of my best friends. When
someone pointed to her, I saw her
kissing a boy, and the sight hit me
like a lightning bolt to the chest.
I knew it as jealousy the moment
I felt it, and it scared me.
Valerie L., 26, Astoria, NY
TRISH BENDIX is the managing editor of the pop-culture site AfterEllen.com.
Last year, a teenage girl made
headlines by baking her parents a
coming out cake (like the one at
right). Here, readers share their
own stories of coming out:
hilarious, poignant, heartbreaking,
and all the above. BY TRISH BENDIX
g,
/ Celesbian / A famous gay woman, like
Portia de Rossi or Cynthia Nixon. Can also mean
someone famous in the lesbian community.
/ LUG / Lesbian until graduation. A
coed who sleeps with women but only while
in college, most likely a liberal-arts school.
I came out last night when I
kissed my date and three men saw
it as an invitation to join or watch. I
came out when the guy on the train
asked for my number. I come out
when girls think Im the straight
friend at the lesbian bar. Ive been
out for 10 years, but I never stop
coming out. Jodi S., 25, New York, NY
My mom died two days before Thanksgiving in 2009. I had
moved home six months earlier to take care of her as she lost her
fight against cancer. My mom was my best friend, and I believe
she knew that I was gay long before I did. She never approved of
my boyfriends, and for good reason. When I finally figured it out
for myself, I thought about who I wanted to come out to most.
That person would have been my mom. I was a little too late.
Ally J., 26, Chicago, IL
A big slice for
a big reveal.
WHO LIKE
WANT MORE COMING OUT CONFESSIONS? DOWNLOAD COSMOS TABLET EDITION.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO EXPLORE
THOSE FEELINGS
KEEP YOUR MIND (AND HEART) OPEN YOURE STRAIGHT,
BUT NOT NARROW
Most women have a girl crush, whether its Olivia Wilde or your
cute barista. Theres a lot of evidence that womens sexuality is
more fluid than mens is, says Lisa Diamond, PhD, a professor
at the University of Utah and leading researcher of same-sex
sexuality. But theres a difference between kissing your female
friend to turn your boyfriend on and doing it because you actually
want to make out with her. Confused? This quiz can help.
If you didnt know, now you know. Those
butterflies you get for a gal palthats more
than friendship. The next step is coming out.
The most important thing is for you to get the
support you need. Call your best gay first.
Hell know just what to say. Think Grandma
wont understand? Leave her for last.
Its way more common for women to have
sexual feelings for both sexes, so welcome to
the club! But dont get too caught up in what it
all means if you hook up with a girl. You dont
need to wife every girl you kiss, just like you
dont marry every guy you make out with. But if
you keep fantasizing about girls, an enduring
interest will tend to endure, Diamond says.
Diamond calls your type a Kinsey 1, aka a
woman whos mostly hetero with a smidge
of same-sex attraction. Your group makes
up the largest part of the population. It may
be that the only same-sex experience youll
have is kissing women in bars or at parties.
And there isnt anything wrong with that.
/ Hasbian / A former lesbian whos now dating
dudes. Shes not bisexual, because shes renounced her
interest in women.
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
Was it to
impress
a guy?
YES
Could you see
yourself in a
relationship with
someone of the
same sex?
Were you turned on by
the Natalie Portman/
Mila Kunis oral-sex
scene in Black Swan?
Have you
thought about
the kiss a lot?
Have you
kissed another
girl before?
Would you
pick Angie
over Brad?
If a girl asked you
out, would you con-
sider saying yes?
Did you kiss her for a
reason other than
because you wanted to?
/ LBD / Lesbian bed death, or when a lesbian couple stop
doing it because theyd rather snuggle with their pet. Often
caused by moving in together too early into the relationship.
C
L
O
C
K
W
I
S
E

F
R
O
M

C
E
N
T
E
R
:

C
O
U
R
T
E
S
Y

Y
O
U
T
U
B
E
;

C
O
U
R
T
E
S
Y

A
P
P
L
E
;

D
O
M
I
N
I
Q
U
E

C
H
A
R
R
I
A
U
/
W
I
R
E
I
M
A
G
E
.

I would
do it
again!
Probably
wouldnt
do it again.
TRISH BENDIX
WWWWWO WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW UUUUL UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU DDD DDDDYO YO YO YO YYO YOO YO YO YO YOO YOO YO YO YO YO YO YO YOOOO YOO YO YYO YO Y U UUUUDO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DOO DO DO DO DO DO DOO DO DOO DOOO DDOOOO DOO DDDDOO D IITTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT AG AG AG AGG AAG AG AG AAAG AG AG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AI AAI AI AI AI AIIIII AIN? N? N? NNNN? N? N? N? N? N? NN? NN? N? N? N? NN? N? N? N? N? N? NNN? NNN? N
YOU
A GIRL

NOW WHAT?
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 147
Q Is scissoring a myth? Ive seen that position
in porn, but Ive tried it and it never gets me off.
A Im sorry, whats scissoring? Hair cutting as foreplay?
Okay, fine. Scissoring works for some, not for others. Ana-
tomy compatibility is a big part of what makes it good or not.
Either your parts match up, or they dont. Dont get hung up
on trying to make your legs look like scissors. Experiment.
Q Im the only lesbian in my conservative
office. Im worried if people know Im gay,
Ill be treated differently. Should I keep
this to myself or be out and proud?
A Chances are, if youre doing weird evasive
things like avoiding gender pronouns or
clamming up whenever someone asks you about
dating, everyone in your office already suspects
youre gay. You say the office is conservative, but
your coworkers may surprise you and be more
welcoming than you expect. Those who arent are
horrible people. Theres no reason you should
have to tell anyone about your personal life, but
if you feel pressured to hide and lie, ask yourself
if this office is really where you want to spend the
majority of your waking hours.
Q Im dating
a girl who says
shes bisexual,
and Im worried
I am just a phase
for her. Im really
into her, but
this is always on
my mind. Help!
A What lesbian
hasnt suffered at
the hands of some
flighty bisexual?
That said, if you
really like her, give
it a shot. Bisexuals
are constantly
dismissed and
mockedso try
and have some
compassion. You
guys could be the
love of each others
livesdont be too
scared to find out.
148 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
More...
LESBIAN LINGO
/ Gold-star lesbian / A gay chick
who has never slept with a guy (get it? shes
so lesbian, she gets a gold star!).
/ U-Hauling it / Moving in with
your girlfriend, usually way too soon
lesbians are known for this.
A
Some lesbians love
nothing more than a
newbie with whom they get to
be the first girl-on-girl sex. Its
like the passion of high school
all over again. As long as youre
into it, whoever youre with will
probably be thrilled. The most
important part of sex is not
technique, its enthusiasm.
ASK HER
ANYTHING!
Love and life advice from our
girl guru, ARIEL SCHRAG
Ive never slept with a
woman before. Im worried my
inexperience will be obvious.
Should I be up front about
being a newbie or just
roll with it?
Q
I came out to my mom a month
ago, and she seemed okay with it.
But every time we talk, she ignores
the subject. How long should I
wait before I say something?
Q
A
Some parents see their kids as extensions of
themselves. If their child is gay and they arent,
this is somehow an affront to their iden tityor they say
theyre worried about the difficult life their child will lead.
These parents should be informed what century were
living in. You say your mom was okay with it. Theres no
reason to treat her with kid gloves. Talk to her today.
TRISH BENDIX
WHO LIKE
FIND MORE Q & AS ON COSMOS TABLET EDITION.
FIND MORE CUTIES AT #GayLove #LesBeHonest #LesbianCouples #ImSoGay #Lesbogram #GayPride #Wifey
#Lezzies #LoveIsLove #GirlsWhoLikeGirls #Lezziegram #Girlfriend #LipstickLesbians #LGBT #GayGirls
Femme and butch are just the tip of the iceberg.
Gay girls rock a rainbow of stylesheres a mash-up from
the #LesbiansOfInstagram hashtag that proves Cyndi
Lauper is right. Girls really do just want to have fun.
#WhatGayLooksLike
LESLEY & LAUREN
BECKY
RENEE & CHRISTIN
DARA LEE
TAHLIA & ALICIA
LESLEY & TIFFANY
SUZETTE & PATRICE
BECCA & CHRISTINE
MEY & LAURA
ALI & SIGNE
COCO & ASHLEY
LACY
SHELLEY
JEANNA & ALYSSA
LAUREN & SARAH
ELLE & KESHIA
JESS
ANNA & KATY
KAROLINA & ALYSE
SERA
LASHEEMA
SAMANTHA
ASHLEY & MIRIAM
LEA TRISH & JULIE
WHITNEY & HILLARY
MARY & NATALIE
TIFFANY & JESSICA
BRANDI & ANNIE
ALIDA & TINA
MELISSA & KAITLYN
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 149
CHARLOTTE & ARIEL
Shes one
of our
writers
And so is
she!
Special Report
150 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Ending a pregnancy is always a
difficult decision. But these women
didnt make it on their own.
CINDY I went to the eighth-
grade dance with Frisco, but
then we didnt see each other
again until 10 years later. We
both work for a large mortgage
lender, and we ran into each
other in the employee parking
lot. We exchanged numbers,
and our rst date was at a dog
parkI have a Yorkie and he
has a boxer. It was his idea.
We had been dating only three
months when I realized I was
pregnant. I was on the Pill, so it
was totally unexpected.
FRISCO Cindy told me over
the phone on a Sunday. I was
surprised but not angry. She
was already emotional
I didnt want to add any
negative energy to make
her feel worse. Im not that
type of cat. So I stayed calm.
My rst question was Are you
a hundred percent surelike a
doctors appointment certain?
CINDY I was sure. My boobs
hurt, and I was nauseous and
three days late for my period.
I hung up and went to buy
three more tests. They were all
positive, so I took a picture of all
three and sent it to him.
FRISCO When I was 18, a girl
I was going with told me she
was pregnant and wanted an
abortion. I asked if she wanted
me to go to the clinic with her,
but she declined my offer. So I
gave her $660 for the procedure,
and she disappeared. That felt
terribleI dont even know if
she stayed pregnant. The next
Peek behind the doors of your local womens health
clinic and you might see something surprising: men.
Men are much more involved in decisions involving
birth control and pregnancy as well as termination
these days, says Cecile Richards, the president of
Planned Parenthood. Its part of a generational shift.
Amanda Kifferly sees the change in her waiting rooms
every day as the director of patient advocacy for The
Womens Center, which runs clinics in four states.
These men care deeply about the women getting an
abortion, she says. Its crucial to include their experi-
ences in the dialogue about the procedure.
And yet men rarely are asked about their experi-
enceeven though they likely bought the pregnancy
test, shielded a girlfriend from protesters, held her
hand during the procedure, or cared for her afterward.
Abortion can test a relationship, cement it, or end it,
as Cosmopolitan discovered in speaking to the four
couples here. Given that 3 out of 10 women in the U.S.
will have an abortion by age 45, says Richards, there
are very few families in this country who have not been
touched by an unplanned pregnancy or one that has
gone awry. The more people tell their personal stories
the better. It gets these conversations out of the politi-
cal realm and into peoples real lives.
CINDY 23
__
and
__

FRISCO 24
NEW JERSEY
We knew we
werent ready
for a baby.
HOW ABORTION
CHANGED OUR
RELATIONSHIP
BY LIZ WELCH PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANDREW HETHERINGTON
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 151
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
grocery bills and rent? I had all sorts of plans, and becoming a mother that young
was not one of them.
FRISCO It takes two people to get pregnant, so birth control should not be only
the womans responsibility. But if she gets pregnant, then it has to be her call.
I can say I want the child, but she has to carry and deliver it. Id be there for her,
but Im not the one throwing up or getting up in the middle of the night to pee.
She has more say-so than I do. It was still hard on me. From the minute I heard,
I couldnt stop thinking about her and her situation.
CINDY I want to be a mom one day. And I know it will be the right time
when the idea of being pregnant gets me excited. When I found out I was
pregnant this time, I was like, Oh. Shit. Still, Im a strong person. I dont really
dwell on it. I have a friend who had an abortion before we met. And I know a
family member has too. If it came up in conversation with my girlfriends, I would
admit mine. Sometimes your story can help somebody else.
thing I heard was that she
moved to another state. I told
Cindy I would support what-
ever decision she made,
including being there for her
and the child if she wanted
to keep it. And I cannot under-
stand any man who wouldnt
want to do that.
CINDY Hearing that felt good.
We talked for an hour that day. I
knew I didnt want to have this
baby. But Ive had an abortion
before, and I also didnt want
to go through that again. The
rst time, I was 18 and about
to start college. I had to walk
past protesters who were
screaming and waving posters.
It made me second-guess my
choice. I actually went back to
my car to think, and then I got
mad, like, If I have the baby, are
they going to help me take care
of it? Are they going to pay my
FRISCO
and CINDY
152
OF WOMEN WHO
HAVE ABORTIONS ARE
IN A RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE MAN WHO GOT
THEM PREGNANT.
KRISTINA
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 153
I had this idea that once I ended the pregnancy, Id be ne. But Im not the
same person I was, and I never will be. I felt conictedand then angry
at myself for feeling that way. I am so glad I was able to get an abortion, but
I would not do it again. Chris wanted to talk about it, but more often, we just
fought. I felt the experience was more mine than his or ours, because I had to go
through the physical experience as well as the emotional one.
We broke up that June, and I was a mess. I cried a lot and made my friends
uncomfortable because Id get drunk and talk about the abortion. One friend actu-
ally said, You need help. I went to therapy, but they just wanted to talk about my
parents. I started writing about it instead and made a short lm called This Would
Be Easier If Youd Understand. That was how I came to understand that an abortion
is not the same for everyone. Even your partner in it has a totally different experi-
ence. I see now that its okay for Chris and me to have different feelings about it.
When I was 20, I was sure I didnt want kids. The funny thing is that my abor-
tion made me realize that I do want to be a mother. And Im happy I discovered
that at a young age.
CHRIS I grew up in an Irish Catholic family. My grandfather was an
obstetrician who was deeply against abortion. So from a very young age, I was
told that abortion is wrong, wrong, wrong. I never really bought it. I became
a vegan and decided I didnt want to have children because there were too
many people on this planet. When I think rationally, thats the place I come to.
Emotionally is a different story.
The night Kristina found out she
was pregnant, I was passed out on
a friends couch after drinking too
much sangria. When I woke up, it was
midnight, and I called Kristina back
immediately. She was so heartbroken,
sad, scared, and upset. I felt terrible.
I assumed she wanted an abortion
we had already discussed that. But I
didnt know the mechanics. I thought,
Well, maybe she can take a pill and
it will just go away. Thats what I
wanted. But she said, I dont want to
know whats happeninglights out, wake up, done.
My whole concern was to do what was right for her. When we arrived at
Planned Parenthood that Saturday, it was a gray, rainy day. Kristina was super
nervous, and I was really worried about her. And then there was a guy standing
outside the clinic. He waited until we got really close and then shoved a picture of
dead babies in Kristinas face. She burst into tears. I wanted to punch the guy in
the face. It felt like an act of terrorism. I still hate that guy.
Inside, they took Kristina in right away. I asked to be with her and they said,
Well get you in as soon as we can. I paid the bill and then waited to meet with
the doctor. They had to do a sonogram to determine how far along Kristina was
and asked if we wanted to see the image. Kristina said no, and I did too. Thats
something I regret. I feel like it would have made the experience more real for me.
I wasnt allowed in the room, so I went to get her padsthe nurse said there
would be bleedingand then took her to her apartment. We watched Felicity.
The abortion really changed our relationship. Kristina went through a deep
depression afterward. I think the experience was a lot more emotionally conict-
ing for her than it was for me. It wasnt something I wanted to have happenit
felt awfulbut I remained clear that it was the right decision.
We went to New Orleans not too long afterward to visit friends and recover.
Wed have a good time, and then it would come up. Kristina felt like a bad person,
like she was better than this. It made her feel out of control. I denitely felt like it
wasnt fair. Theres nothing fun about that feeling. It sucks.
My attitude about sex has also changed. Ive dated only one other person since
then, and I told her about Kristinas abortion. Its a part of my life now.
KRISTINA Chris and I met
about two years ago at a bar-
trivia night. Were in a gen-
eration where everyones like,
Everyone gets down! Lets go!
but we got to know each other.
We were tested for STDs and
discussed our feelings about
abortion before we ever had
sex. I didnt even think I wanted
kids then, and Chris agreed.
Birth-control hormones make
me feel terrible, so we used
condoms. Always. But then I
just started getting a feeling
that March and thought, Im just
gonna try a pregnancy test. One
sort of read positive, so I did
another but I wasnt sure. Those
lines are confusing.
That was Oscar night, which
will never be the same. I left
messages, but Chris wasnt
answering. Finally, I said, Hey,
um, I have to tell you this. Im
pregnant. He came over late
and was like, Are you sure? I
wasnt. So we got a bunch of
tests the next day and still were
both like, Is that the line?
My doctor conrmed the
pregnancy on Wednesday, and
we made an appointment for
that Saturday at Planned Par-
enthood. I appreciated how
normal they made every-
thing. Goonies played in the
waiting room, and Beyonc
was on the stereo during
surgery. In my counseling ses-
sion beforehand, they asked if
I wanted a ParaGard IUD put in
following the procedure. I had
never been offered one before
and was like, Hormone- and
hassle-free? Denitely!
CHRIS WANTED
TO TALK ABOUT IT,
BUT MORE OFTEN,
WE JUST FOUGHT.
I FELT THE
DECISION WAS
MORE MINE THAN
HIS OR OURS.
Special Report
KRISTINA 24
__
and
__
CHRIS 26
NEW YORK
It changed
things so much that
we split up.
154 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
EMILY I met my husband
during my rst week of college.
We got married in June 2008.
I was starting my nal year of
med school when I went off
birth control and got pregnant,
but I did not want to tell
anyone at rst. I didnt want
to get attached. Being an
ob-gyn, I see bad things happen
on a regular basis.
DAVE Emily wanted to wait,
but I wanted to tell everyone!
By week 13, we thought we
were in the clear. We had the
ultrasound and knew it was a
boy. I called my parents, and I
could hear them whooping and
hollering.
EMILY At the rst trimester
screening, we saw a mass on
the babys neck. My doctor
thought it was benign and noth-
ing to worry about. But when
I returned three weeks later, the
mass had grown exponentially.
DAVE I am a professor and was
teaching when Emily called to
say she had difcult news.
I rushed home, and she showed
me the ultrasound. I could
see the growth was large,
but I was sure there must
be corrective surgery.
I was worried but hopeful.
EMILY My doctor sent us to one
of the best neonatal hospitals
in the country. They wanted
the baby to be 18 weeks old in
order to get the best ultrasound
picture, so we had to wait two
weeks. That was really hard
we wanted answers. I tried to
talk about scenarios, but Dave
BRITTANY Brandon and I met our rst year
at college and became friends with benets.
Our agreement was We can kiss other people,
but were sleeping only with each other. It was
outrageously complicated.
In late spring, I started feeling nauseous.
I was on birth control, so I thought I had
eaten something bad. Then I missed my
period, but I blamed the stress of nals.
When my second period didnt come, I knew
something was very wrong.
By then, I was home on Long Island, New York, for summer break. Bran-
don was at his parents house in upstate New York when I called him to
say I was pregnant. We both cried, but then I said, This is too
emotional. I have to be logical. We agreed an abortion was the best plan. I
chose surgeryI wanted to keep it from my family and get it over with quickly.
Brandon wanted to come, but I told him not to. Instead, he sent a check for
$500. The day before the procedure, I asked, Are you going to wake up and call
me? He said, I cant. I dont want to be sitting awake in my bed, powerless. I
was so pissed. I thought, I have to get this thing done, and he gets to sleep in?
At the clinic, they did an ultrasound, and I was happy that I didnt have to see
it. The counseling session was very businesslike, which surprised me. I expected
someone to try to talk me out of it, but that didnt happen.
In the room, the doctor asked, How many weeks along is she?
A nurse replied, Diez, just as the anesthesia needle was stuck
into my arm. Later, when I told Brandon I had been 10 weeks along, he Googled
what that looked like and the image
shocked him. I did not want to see it.
I got mad at him a lot that sum-
mer. He was going out while I was in
bed, watching movies, healingnot
physically but emotionally. A few days
after the abortion, he asked me to be
his girlfriend. I was furious and said,
Youre asking only because you feel
guilty! Now I know it was heartfelt.
As much as I picked ghts with him, he never took them to heart. He let me be angry.
In the end, our abortion just cemented the fact that Brandon loved me and I
loved him. Weve been together for six yearshes an engineer; Im an interpreter.
And now were ready to start a family.
BRANDON When Brittany told me she was pregnant, I got scared.
It was just pure panic. Wed talked about abortion only as a political topic. Its
one thing to believe in the right to abortion and another for it to be part of your life.
The hardest thing for me was being so far away from her. Im not an open-
communication guy. Id rather throw my arm around you. Still, we had a lot of talks
before and after about our decisionI grew up real quick that summer. Before then,
I had college problems, like, Who am I hooking up with? When I got back that fall,
I put those problems in air quotes. They didnt compare to what wed gone through.
I told one of my close friends about the abortion. He didnt have too much light
to shed on it, but it felt good to talk to someone. I didnt want to talk to anyone
else. I felt like it was a negative mark on me. I was a good kid. I got straight As
and got into the college I wanted. And then this happened.
I wasnt ready to be a father. I knew that. But I knew I wanted to spend my
life with Brittany. After the abortion, I knew I couldnt keep acting the way I had
before. Thats why I asked her to be serious with me. She got upset, which really
hurt me. I had to stick it out and prove to her that I loved her.
My stance on abortion didnt change. What did change was my compassion for
people who go through it. It killed me to see how painful and emotional it was for
Brittany. And I was the only one she could talk to. It was this big secret.
OUR ABORTION
JUST CEMENTED
THE FACT THAT
BRANDON LOVED
ME AND I LOVED HIM.
Special Report
BRITTANY 23
__
and
__
BRANDON 23
VIRGINIA
We decided to
get serious after
the abortion.
EMILY 32
__
and
__
DAVE 34
MARYLAND
It was the humane
thingand it
devastated us.
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 155
FFFuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,,,,,, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFeeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLooooooooooooooorrruuuummmmm
I decided to do a normal delivery, so I had an epidural and pushed. The doctor cut
the cord, and I held AJ. He is always going to be one of our children.
DAVE The hospital took handprints and pictures. They hid the mass with a little
blanket. And then we buried him in the Jewish cemetery in Roanoke.
EMILY I thought since I do this for a living that I was going to be ne. But then
two days later my milk came in and I completely lost it. I tried an antidepressant,
but I didnt like the way it made me feel. Luckily, I had my work to focus on.
DAVE We waited a couple of months and then got pregnant again. Hannah was
born October 24, 2011. She would not be here if we hadnt lost AJ.
EMILY Everything going on politically right now is heartbreaking. It shows a mis-
understanding of why people choose abortionsand a lack of respect for women.
DAVE And frankly, for men too. This was a decision Emily and I made together.
didnt want to even think about
it until we knew more.
At the hospital, we had a full
days worth of appointments.
Everyone sat around this big
table with ve doctors to look
at 3-D MRI images.
DAVE The growth on my sons
neck was larger than his head.
My rst thought was How will
he be able to breathe? We
discussed options. If the baby
survived, he would need a
tracheotomy, a vent, and 24-
hour nursing care. Thats if he
made it, which was unlikely.
We got into the car and
didnt talk for 20 minutes.
I knew we had to consider
termination, but I didnt
want to bring it up. I thought
shed think less of me. But I
nally said, We have to talk.
Emily burst into tears and said,
I dont want him to suffer.
EMILY I knew that an abortion
was the most humane thing for
baby Aaron Jack. We were living
in Virginia then, which bans later
abortions. Time mattered. I was
put on the schedule the next day.
LETS TALK ABOUT IT Theres no right or wrong way to feel after an
abortion. If you or your partner need to talk, call the Exhale After-
Abortion Talk Line for agenda-free counseling (866-4-EXHALE).
OF MEN THINK ABORTION
SHOULD BE LEGAL IN
AT LEAST SOME CASES.
EMILY, DAVE,
and HANNAH
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I am always fighting with my weight, and as a result have large
stretch marks which can be embarrassing. I was watching TV and
the advertisement came on for Bio-Oil. So I tried it and it made
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sexy
february
An irresistible
bouquet of
lace and
florals and
provocative
nudes for both
the face
and bedroom
Dress with belt,
Alessandra
Rich; necklace
and ring, Bulgari
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 157
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SKYE PARROTT
FASHION DIRECTOR: AYA KANAI H
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K
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SPECIAL DELIVERY! VALENTINES
DAY GETS
the
thing
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SKYE PARROTT
FASHION DIRECTOR: AYA KANAI
EXTRA SPECIAL WITH MODEL Kate King, THE FACE OF
DOLCE & GABBANAS new FRAGRANCE, DOLCE. HERE, THE
20-YEAR-OLD REVELS IN FLORAL FROCKS AND CROP TOPS
Top, skirt, and earrings,
$710, Marni; necklace,
Bulgari; bracelet, $410,
ring, $340, CAandLou
so major, THEY MAKE A DOZEN ROSES LOOK WEAK.
M

SUCH A
NATIONALIST.
IF SOMEBODYS
CANADIAN,
I AUTOMATICALLY
THINK THEYRE
great.
I WAS MICHAEL
CERACRAZY
FOR A WHILE.
This page
Romper with belt, and
shoes, $695, Michael Kors;
necklace, $373, ring, $125,
Tuleste; cuff, Caterina
Zangrando; bracelet, Lele
Sadoughi, $195
Opposite page
Dress, Marchesa; ears
headband, Ellen Christine
Couture, $350
This page
Bra, $275, skirt, bag,
headbands, and earrings,
$635, Dolce & Gabbana
Opposite page
Dress, Oscar de la Renta;
headbands, Eugenia Kim,
$215 each; bracelets, ring,
Meredith Marks Designs;
earrings, Efva Attling
Beauty Tip
The aromatic equivalent of a
flouncy, flowery skirt: the
berfemme Dolce by
Dolce & Gabbana ($70).
COSMOPOLITAN | MXNTH 2014 163 O CO COO COOOOS OS OS OS CO CCCO CO CO COOOOOOOOSS OS OSS CCOOOS CCCOOOOOOS COOOO COOSS OS CCOOOOOO CCCOOOOS OS COOS OS OOOOOO COOO COO COOOOO COOOS OOO COOOOS OO MMMMMO MOP MOP MOP MOP MMMMMOP MO MMOP MOP MOP MMMMOP OP M POL OL OLI OLI LI OL OLII OLI LI LI OL TAN TA TAN TAN TAN TAN TTTAN TAN TA TA TAA TTTA |||||| MXN MXN MXN MXN MMX MMX MM TH TH TH TH TH T 22220 20001 001111 22001 222000001 220000001 2200001 0000001 00 20000000000000000 20001 000000001 00000000000000 444444444444444 1111111666663333333333
FLOWERS ARE
SO BEAUTIFUL.
I LOVE THEM.
IF A GUY WANTED
TO IMPRESS ME,
yellow
roses
WOULD DO IT.
ELLOW

1 | MXNTH 2014
RAND
GESTURES SORT
OF MAKE ME
CRINGE. HANGING
OUT AT SOMEONES
HOUSE AND
PLAYING VIDEO
GAMES IS MY
ideal
date.
MARIO KART IS THE
BEST GAME EVER.
Top, skirt, shoes, Delpozo;
bracelet, Lele Sadoughi,
$335; ring, Elena Votsi;
earrings, Suzanna Dai, $225
ES
HAIR: Martin-Christopher
Harper for Oribe Haircare
MAKEUP: Robert Greene using
Dolce & Gabbana The Makeup
MANICURE: Lisa Logan using
Dolce & Gabbana
MODEL: Kate King/IMG Models
SET DESIGN: Chelsea Maruskin
See page 198 for shopping
information.

165
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buy it
1Jacket, Gap, $118, gap.com
2 Necklace, Tous, $345, Tous, 212-
219-1444 3Rings, Guess, $18 for
set, macys.com 4Shoes, J.Crew,
$328, jcrew.com 5Skirt, Cameo
the Label, $174, shopbop.com
6Case, Dooney & Bourke, $32,
dooney.com 7Sunglasses, Dolce
& Gabbana, $490, Sunglass Hut
8Dolce & Gabbana Smooth Eye
Color Quad in Desert, $59,
saksfifthavenue.com 9Shoes,
Foreign Exchange, $26, feclothing
.com 10T-Shirt, Fresh-Tops, $37,
fresh-tops.com 11Top, Carven,
$430, Carven, 646-684-4368
12Pants, Joe Fresh, $69, Joe
Fresh, 212-219-2850 13 Dolce &
Gabbana Classic Cream Lipstick
in Venere, $32, saksfifthavenue
.com 14Bag, Tory Burch, $435,
Tory Burch, 866-480-8679
15Dress, ASOS, $81, asos.com
wardrobe
GET THE LOOK OF THE SWEETEST THING PHOTO
SHOOT, AND SHOW US HOW YOU ROCK THE
FLORAL TREND. TWEET US @COSMOPOLITAN.
165
y it y it it
t, Gap, $118, gap.com
ce, Tous, $345
3Ring
AT YOUR FEET
Rosy-printed pumps
breathe new life into
your go-to LBD.
SATIN FINISH
Because your
sweats scare the
UPS man, upgrade
to printed silk
pants.
SMOOTH MOVES
For day-to-night
smoochable lips, a
creamy-formulated
lipstick is key.
ww
3
GOLD BOND
A collar necklace of
gilded petals is the
grown-up, luxe answer
to daisy chains.
33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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166
NEUTRALS
BY JESSICA MATLIN
Once considered the good girls of makeup, nudes
now have a naughty reputation. Take a cue from
model Alyssa Miller and try five new takes on the
lingerie of makeup, each hotter than the next.
crazy
Sexy
Dress, Wes Gordon; thick-
band ring, Shylee Rose
Jewelry; V-shaped ring, Zoe
Chicco; diamond band ring,
Hearts on Fire
PHOTOGRAPHED BY JAMES MACARI FASHION EDITOR: SHIONA TURINI
Get the Look
Using an eye-shadow
brush, blend shadow (we
love Este Lauder Pure
Color in Cyber Ruby, $24)
onto lids and outer corners,
then take it under the eyes
with a cotton swab. Define
inner rims with brown liner.
Pair It With...

Matte bronzer from
cheeks to temples (try Too
Faced Milk Chocolate
Soleil, $30).

Creamy, shimmer-free
mauve lipstick (such as
Lancmes, page 172).
Russet Eyes
Depending on its tone,
copper has two sides:
reserved (if its bronze-
based) or trendy (if its
reddish). Choose the
latter, then smoke it out
for a sultry effect.
Bralet, T by Alexander Wang,
$225; body chain, Jacquie
Aiche; necklace, Shylee Rose
Jewelry; ring, Jennifer Fisher;
earrings, Delfina Delettrez
Sheer
Perfection
Effortlessly chic and
glow-y in all the right
places this is what
dewy looks like.
Get the Look
Sweep rose gold shadow (like
D&Gs, page 172) around the
eye and up to the brow bone.
Apply a second coat to lids,
line lashes in coffee-colored
pencil, and tint top lashes
with brown mascara.
Pair It With...

Peach shimmer blush (try
MAC Cream Colour Base in
Improper Copper, $20).

Cream highlighter on the
tops of cheekbones (new
and amazing: Clarins Instant
Light in Rose, $37).

Peachy nude lipstick (try
Girlactiks, page 172).
She loves lingerie as much as
sweatpants and is a drugstore-
beauty addict. Alyssa Miller,
when are we hanging out?
Its Miller
TIME!
This Cali Girls
Essential
Sunscreen. I love surfing,
paddleboarding, and soccer, so
I always wear SPF. One of my
favorites is Neutrogena Beach
Defense Sunscreen ($9.99).
Favorite Look
From the Shoot
The smudgy eye [at right]. I cant
be bothered with doing perfect
eye makeup or any other look that
takes more than five minutes!
Date-Night Advice
Cooking is the way to a mans
heart. I love making Italian
whats more comforting than
good pasta?
How She Gets
Her Beauty Fix
I dont shop at department
stores. I prefer to go to the drug-
store for my staples, like Cetaphil
Daily Facial Moisturizer ($13.99),
and to find new products.
Bedtime Wardrobe
If Im feeling sexy, Ill wear pjs
from J.Crew or Eberjey or vintage
lingerieI collect it. If Im tired
or PMS-ing, Im in sweatpants.
Chillaxing Trick
Tea! My boyfriend [that would be
Jake Gyllenhaal!] just bought me
a tea infuser because he knows
how much I like it. Right now, Im
into coconut tea.
Sexy-Skin Secret
Caudalie Divine Oil ($32). I dis-
covered it in France.Its sold at
the pharmacy!
Blazer, Marc by Marc Jacobs;
underpinning, Max Mara;
body chain, Jacquie Aiche;
rings, Jennifer Fisher; earrings,
Dior Fine Jewelry
Glazed Gaze
A glistening smoky
eye that takes just two
products and zero
precision? Sweet!
Get the Look
Line eyes (inner rims too)
thickly with a chocolate eye
crayon (try LOral Paris
Voluminous Smoldering
Liner, $9). Dab lids with a
tiny drop of Elizabeth Arden
Eight-Hour Cream Skin
Protectant, $17, and smudge
with a cotton swab.
Pair It With...

Baby pink cream blush
(such as NYX Rouge Cream
Blush in Natural, $6).

Nude gloss (on Alyssa:
Elizabeth Arden Beautiful
Color Luminous Lip Gloss in
Precious Petal, $18).
k
ot
t right]. I cant
ing perfect
other look that
e minutes!
dvice
to a mans
Italian
rting than
s
Fix
artment
to the drug-
, like Cetaphil
izer ($13.99),
ducts.
drobe
ll wear pjs r
jey or vintage
. If Im tired
weatpants.
rick
[that would be
st bought me
se he knows
ight now, Im
ecret
Bra, Marc Jacobs, $175; slip
dress, Max Mara; necklace,
Shay Accessories
Get the Look
Sweep gold shadow on inner
halves of lids (from lash line
to brows) and rust on outer
halves. (Alyssas wearing
Sisley Cream Eye Shadow in
Golden Touch and Copper
Touch, $42 each.) Line inner
rims in brown pencil and
finish with mascara.
Pair It With...

Luminizer on cheeks (try
Benefit Watts Up, $30).

Nude lip gloss (Ardens,
page 172, works here too).
Two Timer
Going out? Give your
red lip the night off, and
go for this equally
statement-making
mixed-metal eye.
Dress, Wes Gordon; earrings,
Genevieve Jones
Sex Kitten
Give trusty brown liner
a trendy spin: Sharpen
it to a point, and wing it
out. As slick as a liquid,
just way easier.
Get the Look
Apply beige shadow to your
lid, then drag pencil (here,
MAC Eye Pencil in Coffee,
$16) along top lashes, past
corners, to a point.
Pair It With...

Translucent powder to nix
shine. (Make Up For Evers
HD Microfinish now comes
in pressed form, $36.)

Creamy nude lipstick
(were crushing on Este
Lauder Pure Color Envy
Sculpting Lipstick in
Impulsive, $30).
Hair: Leonardo Manetti
for Ion Salon
Makeup: Alice Lane
at Jed Root, Inc.
Manicure: Julie Kandalec
using Chanel La Vernis
Model: Alyssa Miller/IMG
Models
See page 198 for
shopping information.
The New
Neutrals
Earth-tone metallics, pinky
nudes, glassy finishessimple
has never looked so sultry.
NATURAL BEAUTIES
1 Dior Addict Vernis Color Block Nail Polish in Incognito, $24 2 Giorgio Armani The Illuminating Palette,
$88 3 Sally Hansen Satin Glam Nail Color in Go Gold, $5.99 4 Clinique A Different Nail Enamel in Peek a Boo,
$12.50 5 Physicians Formula Nude Wear Nude Glow Powder, $14.95 6 Nars Orgasm Illuminator, $30
7 Chanel Illusion DOmbre in Initiation, $36 8 Make Up For Ever Diamond Shadow in No. 305, $21 9 Dolce &
Gabbana The Eyeshadow Duo in Cinnamon, $42 10 Lancme Color Design Sensational Effects Eye Shadow
Smooth Hold in 24 Karat, $18 11 Girlactik Le Crme Lipstick in Beauty, $21 12 Giorgio Armani Rouge
dArmani Sheer Lipstick in No. 514, $34 13 Lancme Rouge in Love Lipcolor in Lasting Kiss, $25
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172
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Some men prefer the natural lookwriter (and makeup aficionado) Alyssa Shelasky
dates one of them. As an experiment, she gave herself a makeunder and, to her surprise,
discovered the no-makeup makeup look made her feel even sexier in her own skin.
Six months into my relationship,
inside a brightly lit Roman restaurant, I caught my Italian
boyfriend staring at my face. In broken (but perfectly
blunt) English, he asked, Why you wear so much makeup?
I dont like, baby.
Mamma mia.
Up until then, I was working what I thought was a
carefree rocker-chic look on all our date nights: ruby red
lip stain, a hint of pink blush, smoked-out charcoal liner
accented with several coats of mascara. Didnt he
understand the look was very Kate Moss? It wasnt like
I wore faux lashes, caked-on bronzer, or even a drop of
foundationplus Id been wearing this for months. Now he
says he doesnt like? That it makes me look older (ahh!)
and a little artificial (omigod).
My initial response: Whatever...you dont get it
my face, my rules. However, I did appreciate his
honesty, and his message was
somewhat flattering in a youre-
too-pretty-to-look-like-a-hooker kind
of way. Plus, how many times have
I told him to grow in his facial hair or
work on his abs? (The answer: too
many to count!)
So I started thinking: Most of my
celeb girl crushes (Jennifer Lawrence,
Zo Saldana, Gisele Bndchen) rock
the minimalist look on the reg. As a
journalist, Ive also interviewed many
A-listers in both red-carpet and
just-rolled-out-of-bed-clutching-coffee
scenarios, most of whom looked way
more attractive in the latter. Did my
boyfriend really have a point?
As an experiment, I decided to
quit makeup. The first day, I literally
wore only moisturizer not cute.
The selfies I sent to my sister provoked two responses:
(1) Do you have the flu? and (2) Were you crying? With
blotchy skin and asylum gray bags under my eyes, I
looked (and felt) like the homely girl in high school who
played the tuba and collected bugs. My boyfriend said
he liked it, but I wasnt convinced.
So I bent the rules and tried a few products that would, at
the very least, give me a perfect, glowing complexion (funny,
as I never wore base when I was actually in a relationship
with makeup!). A friend suggested Laura Mercier Illuminating
Tinted Moisturizer ($43, sephora.com). It lived up to its name,
leaving me with a born-this-way glisten. Ditto a tube of Josie
Maran Argan Infinity Creamy Oil ($28, sephora.com), which
gave me a facial-like glow.
IMPROVED
Nude and
I knew there
had to be a
middle ground
between
the convent
and the
Kardashians,
so I started
Googling.
Within a week, I had started coming around to the
makeup-free thing. Physically, my face felt extraordinarily
clean and soft. Mentally, I felt empowered by my new lack of
superficiality (not to mention the extra 15 minutes I had to
myself every morning). But eventually, that thought gave way
to Who cares? The important question was How do I look?
I studied pictures of my appearance on my iPhone obses-
sively. What had started out looking earthy and somewhat
European had suddenly turned into something bland and
boring. I looked like, well, nobody. Where was my flair? My
je ne sais quoi? Where was the sparkle in (and around) my
eyes? I am a strong, sexual beinga woman rich with stories
of love and life. I never signed up to be Plain Jane!
I knew there had to be a middle ground between the convent
and the Kardashians. So I started Google-imaging the most
recent runway photographs for inspiration. The au naturel look
was big this seasonthe models at Tom Ford, Alexander Wang,
and Rodarte all rocked it.
I grabbed my tear sheets and ran to
the experts at Sephora. Turns out, the
no-makeup look actually requires a fair
amount of makeup.It just looks
inconspicuous. I raided the aisles for deep
browns, romantic metallics, and sexy
sheer pinks. The second I got home,
I stripped down to my lacy, black bra and
white cotton underwear, turned up the
music, and started a private makeup party
that the real me could not wait another
second for.
Two glasses of champagne and the
entire Bling Ring soundtrack later,
I found my perfect, natural-but-naughty
face. It starts with that same Laura
Mercier tinted moisturizer (which Im
now addicted to), plus an allover
dusting of Sephora Baked Sculpting
Trio in Sassy ($21)a pink-based bronzer that, no
matter how much I apply, looks totally subtle. Then I run
Laura Mercier Baked Eye Colour in Hot Chocolate ($23)
over my lids and add a coat of YSL mascara (the BFs crazy
if he thinks Im giving that up!)the effect is so gorgeous,
I dont even need liner. The final touch: Tarte Lipsurgence
in Envy ($24), a matte lip tint that turns my lips the
color of a peach Jolly Rancher.
When my boyfriend came home later, he
immediately took notice. Very chic, baby!
I winked. You know Im wearing
makeup, right? He said, Yes, but you look
like younot like youre hiding something.
Well, maybe just the Sephora bill.
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EDITED BY SARA AUSTIN
AND LIZ PLOSSER
SPEND
MORE
TIME
IN BED
IF WORRY
KEEPS YOU UP
A little Bach might help: In a
study when stu dents lis-
tened to classical music
before bed, their sleep qual-
ity improved more than
those who listened to an
audio book or nada. Mellow
tunes may lower blood pres -
sure and reduce anxiety.
IF YOU BLOW
BY BEDTIME
Folks who get the same
amount of sleep nightly do
better on cog nitive tests
than those who change
up their sleep schedule,
reports a new stu dy. Shut
off your TV (and phone and
tablet...) an hour before
you plan to turn in.
IF YOU TOSS
AND TURN
Its easier to fall (and stay)
asleep when your rooms
temp is below 75 degrees,
according to the National
Sleep Foun dation. Try these
strat egies and your nightly
sheep-counting tally should
take a big hit.
IF YOUR ROOM
IS TOO LOUD
Try pink noise, a term for
sounds like falling rain
and rustling leaves. Hearing
these sounds at bedtime
increased quality-sleep time
by 23 percent in a Chi nese
study. We love the free White
Noise Lite app at iTunes.com
and Play.Google.com.
You may think youre a five-
hours-is-all-I-need rock star, but
your star would probably
shine even brighter if you got
more zzzs. A full nights
sleep can make you slimmer,
smarter, and happier than
making an extra $60,000 a year.
Now snuggle in and get some.
HOT &HEALTHY
JULIA SAVACOOL
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Hot & Healthy BBody News
176 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Keeps colds and u
away? When people
kiss, they exchange
germs, generat-
ing new antibodies
that can help pre-
vent infection, says
Yael Varnado, MD,
cofounder of Health
Expert. More ways
making out is healthy:
It soothes your pain
and curbs production
of stress hormones,
leaving you a little
more Zen than before
you locked lips. So get
smooching.
SHANNON FIEDLER

A DAY
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ou l
smooc
Regular brushing, ossing, and swishing with mouthwash not
only make your teeth sparkly and your mouth kissable, they also
REDUCE YOUR RISK FOR ORAL HPVwhich people with poor
mouth hygiene are 56 percent more likely to have, according to a
study in Cancer Prevention Research. Slacking doesnt cause HPV,
but it can lead to inamed gums, ulcers, and wounds (yeah, yuck),
which may provide entry points for the virus. Floss on! LIZ PLOSSER
A
Q Can my
gynecologist
be my primary
doc too?
A Surewere
trained in head-to-toe
medicine. And since
you see your gyno
often, youll be treated
by an MD who knows
you and your body. But
make sure to ask your
gyno if shes comfort-
able in this role. If she is,
she may request extra
tests (like blood work
and skin checks) so
shes catching every-
thing a general practi-
tioner would. And see
a specialist for compli-
cated issues or ones
requiring follow-up, like
a psychiatrist for man-
aging anxiety.
SOURCE: JENNIFER ASHTON, MD,
AN OB-GYN AND SENIOR MEDICAL
CONTRIBUTOR FOR ABC NEWS
Ask Dr.
Ashton
vs.
DAYS MONTHS
Thanks to the new Alere Determine
Combo test, nding out your
HIV STATUS
can now happen as soon as 12 days
after infection. Other tests check
whether your body has
HIV antibodies. This one detects the
virus itself. Early detection is huge
since half of infections are caused by
people who pass on HIV before they
know theyve gotten it. If youre
having sex, get tested once a year.
REBECCA J. ADAMS
Repeat often
for best results.
kss
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We consume
16 percent more
saturated fat and
10 percent more
calories on aver-
age the day after
our NFL team loses
compared with
when they come
out on top, accord-
ing to a study in
the journal Psycho-
logical Science.
HOW TO EAT LIKE
YOUR TEAM WON,
NO MATTER WHAT
Decide whats for
dinner before the
game (chicken stir-fry!
salmon tacos!). Then
start the next day
with a healthy break-
fast (say, Greek yogurt
topped with almonds
and berries), and
bring lunch and a
couple of snacks
to work. Stretchy
pants not required.
BEWARE
THE POST-
FOOTBALL
BINGE
10
20
30
40
50
40
30
20
10
Sprinkle sweet-
potato wedges
with salt,
red pepper.
Bake at 400.
SOURCE: MARISSA LIPPERT, RD,
CHEF/OWNER OF NOURISH
KITCHEN + TABLE IN NYC
THE
11-WORD
RECIPE
BY JESSICA GIRDWAIN
Bake 3 c. unsalted mixed nuts at 375
degrees for 10 minutes. Combine 3 T melted
butter, 1 t. salt, 1 t. cumin, 1 t. chili powder,
t. cayenne, t. garlic powder. Toss nuts
in mixture. Stir in wasabi peas and popcorn.
SALTY
Tomato
240 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR

Heart-healthy lycopene
makes this nutritious, but eat
it with a sandwich, like turkey
on whole wheat, to get some
satisfying protein.
WHICH
SOUP
SHOULD YOU ORDER?
It has a rep as an angelic lunch order, but
soups health halo can be fuzzy: Calorie counts
are all over the place, depending on what
you order. Find the best bowl
with our primer.
zz
soup s
are all
you o
with our prime
Miso
170 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR
Add a brown-rice sushi
roll or a big salad on
the side to make it lling
enough for lunch.
Turkey Chili
480 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR

The cals are worth it
when they come from
satiating, good-for-
you beans, veggies,
and lean protein.
Lentil
340 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR

Not a lentil fan?
Get healthy ber from
barley, couscous,
quinoa, wild rice, or
whole-wheat pasta.
New England
Clam Chowder
500 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR
Its lling but too fatty. Go
with tomato-broth-based
Manhattan Clam Chowder to
get less cream and butter.
178 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Chicken
Noodle
160 Calories
FILL-YOU-UP FACTOR
Order it often: Veggies
and chicken are rich
in vitamins and
minerals, so they really
can stave off a cold.
T
22
F
H
m
it
o
sa
Stir a beaten egg white into 3 c. unsalted
mixed nuts. Stir in c. brown sugar, 1 t. each
salt and cinnamon, t. each ground ginger
and nutmeg. Bake at 325 degrees for 25 min-
utes, until brown. Break apart, and serve.
SWEET
SWEET
or
SALTY?
Try these crowd-pleasing riffs on the ultimate
cocktail-party munchie: mixed nuts.
d
b
4
h h
er
min-
ve.
SOURCE: ALEXANDRA OPPENHEIMER,
RD, A NUTRITIONIST IN
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK
180 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Minimus 20V3,
New Balance, $99.95,
newbalance.com
While youre strength training, feet need to get feedback
from the oor to keep you stable as you lift weights and
change directions, says Harley Pasternak, a trainer in
L.A. The x: Use running shoes for running but low-to-the-
ground cross-trainers for everything else. The design also
helps exercise your glutes and hamstrings. LIZ PLOSSER
ARE YOU WEARING THE WRONG
K
I
C
K
S
?
SECRETS OF THE MOST
MOTIVATED WOMEN IN THE WORLD
Imagine if exercising every day was your job. It is for these Winter Olympians,
and theyre sharing their best secrets for staying on track.
Hilary
Knight
ICE HOCKEY
My teammates
mot ivate me. We push
one another to work
harder. Grab a friend to
join you at the gym, or
take up a team sport.
I promise it will make
your workout more fun.
Gretchen
Bleiler
SNOWBOARDING
Refueling right after
a workout helps your
body recover. I make
smoothies with straw-
berries, kale, spinach,
blueberries, coconut
milk, almond butter,
and granoladelish!
Jazmine
Fenlator
BOBSLEDDING
Ive learned its okay
to say no or not at this
time. There are only a
certain number of hours
in the day, and everyone
needs a little me time
to stay mentally and
physically healthy.
Grete
Eliassen
FREESKIING
Theres no right activ-
ityworking out should
be fun and enjoyable. A
lot of people run to keep
t, but I dont like run-
ning. Instead, I surf, do
yoga, and play hockey.
DIANDRA BARNWELL
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Cardio sessions can start
off feeling mega-tough.
(Panting. Legs hurt. Help.)
Thats because it takes a
little while for your cardio-
respiratory system to get
going and help you consume
and use oxygen efciently.
Just give it
minutes
Thats all it takes to kick in.
And then? Bam, exercise
feels easier. L.P.
1
2
3
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N E W C H A MP I O N MA R AT H O N S P O R T S B R A .
N O C H A F E . N O B U L K . N O S WE AT .
S O Y O U C A N G O T H E D I S T A N C E .
V I S I T C H A M P I O N U S A . C O M / M A R A T H O N S P O R T S B R A

2
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STRONGHER
FASTHER
LONGHER
Hot & Healthy Must-Read y
Forget eating in moderationswearing off certain foods completely is the trendiest
way to lose weight. But some women might be taking it too far. BY JESSICA GIRDWAIN
S
ATING DI ORDER
S
?
E
ARE

FOOD ALLERGIES
THE NEW
T
R
U
N
K

A
R
C
H
I
V
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FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 183
ouve probably heard the newest weight-loss secretand maybe
yyoouuvvee eevveenn ttrriieedd iitt yyoouurrsseellff:: DDrroopp 1100 ppoouunnddss iinnssttaannttllyy bbyy ggiivviinngg
upp wheat. When Annakeara Stinson,, a 26-yyear-old who lives in
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tthhee wwhheeaatt pprrootteeiinn gglluutteenn. SShhee hhaappppiillyy wweenntt gglluutteenn-ffrreeee.
But with an intolerance, you may
be able to eat dairy, gluten, sugar,
or eggs in limited amounts with-
out issues. And you may be able to
reintroduce the food into your diet
in the future.
WEIGHT-LOSS MIRACLE?
More women are crossing their
fingers hoping they have a food
allergy or intolerance to sugar,
dairy, wheat, or whatever, says
Lauren Schmitt, RD, a nutritionist
in Studio City, California. Some
see it as the answer to losing
weight or something that will force
them to do so. Or they may blame
an inability to lose weight on a food
intolerance, she says.
Allergies make the perfect
scape goat. Its a judgment-free
way to have an unhealthy
relationship with food thats
One month later, 15 pounds lighter, and raking in You look great! squeals,
she veered into dangerous territory. Shed eat spinach and spoonfuls of
al mond butterand nothing elsefor dinner. She was irritable and
fatigued, and her skin looked unhealthy and gray. My gluten intolerance
be came an easy excuse for what turned into an eating disorder, she admits.
Not everyone who has food allergies or intolerances has an eating disor-
der. Far from itallergies are real and can be life-threatening. But po tential
allergies run the gamut from sugar, nuts, and animal proteins (including
eggs and dairy products) to night shade veggies (potatoes, peppers, toma-
toes, eggplant), soy,and gluten. And some women are now claiming aller-
gies to food groups not out of a necessity for their health but to justify going
on restrictive, often dangerous diets to lose weight. An allergy can provide a
cover for a warped relationship with food. No one will question your shun-
ning that pizza if its because your doctor told you to avoid it.
THE GOOP EFFECT
When some svelte celeb, like Gwyneth Paltrow or Megan Fox, comes out
hailing the wheat- or dairy-free gods, we take note. Ditch these devil foods
and downsize to starlet proportions. And with dozens of diet books and
cookbooks promising that cutting a food group will make you thin and
healthySugar Busters, Wheat Belly, The G-Free Dietand even doctors
and nutritionists encouraging Americans to get blood tests that uncover
food allergies and sensitivities, the trend has some expert cred behind it.
No wonder one-third of us think we have a food allergy. And yet only
4 percent of us really do, according to the National Institute of Allergy and
Infectious Diseases. Many people are avoiding foods because of misunder-
standings, not true allergies, says Scott Sicherer, MD, of the Jaffe Food
Allergy Institute, at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. For exam-
ple, maybe you eat a plate of pasta, feel sluggish, then blame wheat, or you
feel ill after finishing a bowl of mint chip, then vow to go sugar-free. In real-
ity, maybe you just ate too much.
Maybe, says Dr. Sicherer, were confusing intolerances with allergies.
With an allergy, your immune system goes into attack mode against a
certain food, like lobster or peanuts. Your body releases histamines that
can cause red, itchy skin, swollen eyes, dizziness, or wheezing. Food aller-
gies are no joke: They send more than 30,000 people to the ER every year.
An intolerance is different. Your body may lack the enzyme to digest
milk properly, creating lactose intolerance. Or you may be sensitive to
glutena protein found in wheat and other grainsand experience gas-
trointestinal symptoms like bloating, gas, or diarrhea. About 1 percent
of the U.S. population has an extreme form of gluten intolerance known
as celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder in which gluten damages the
small intestine and interferes with nutrient absorption. If you have an
allergy, eating the food can, in some cases, be life-threateningeven in
tiny amounts. You can see why youd have to eliminate it from your diet.
Women are crossing
their fingers hoping they
have an intolerance
to sugar, dairy, wheat,
or whatever. Its a
judgment-free
way to have an
unhealthy relationship
with food.
TURN THE PAGE FOR MORE
184 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Hot & Healthy Must-Read
T
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(
3
)
IS IT AN
ALLERGY,
INTOLERANCE,
OR
EATING
DISORDER?
Signs can be similarheres how
to tell what youre up against.
What it feels like: Strict avoidance
of foods that arent seen as clean
or pureincluding articial colors,
avors, and preservatives, animal
products, pesticides, fat, sugar, and
saltin order to control weight and
not because of an intolerance or moral
objection to these foods. Often linked
to an eating disorder called orthorexia,
aka an obsession with a healthy diet
in the name of weight loss.
Symptoms occur: Gradually over a
long period of time.
Diagnosis: See an MD or dietitian who
specializes in eating disorders.
ALLERGY
INTOLERANCE
DISORDERED EATING
What it feels like: Hives, swelling, itchy
eyes, runny nose, sneezing, wheez-
ing, nausea, vomiting, dizziness,
faintingadult allergies are most
commonly caused by peanuts, tree
nuts (like almonds), and seafood.
Symptoms occur: Within minutes or
up to two hours after eating the food.
Diagnosis: Your doc will do a medical
history and physical exam, followed
by skin-prick tests.
What it feels like: Sugar and dairy trig-
ger bloating, gas, diarrhea, nausea,
and cramps. Gluten can cause stom-
ach issues, fatigue, and depression.
Chocolate and caffeine can bring on
headaches. Histamine-containing
foods like cheese, red wine, and yeast
breads cause headaches, rapid heart
rate, ushing, fainting, and wheezing.
Symptoms occur: Hours to days
after eating.
Diagnosis: Elimination diet (avoid the
food for a certain amount of time), fol-
lowed by reintroduction (eat possible
offenders to pinpoint triggers). Con-
sult your MD to try this successfully.
socially acceptable, says psychiatrist Kim Dennis, MD, the
medical director of Timberline Knolls, a residential treat-
ment center in Lemont, Illinois. Pass up nachos with the
girls and its no biggie if youre dairy-free. But if you say
youre skipping them because you dont want to get fat, your
friends will be on your case.
Plus, allergies (whether theyre real or fake) can provide a
rigid structure and sense of control that women with eating dis-
orders crave. Even when intentions start out healthy, if you have
enough willpower to skip cupcakes, wine, and tomato sauce
because youre sensitive to sugarand you lose weightthen
how far can you go? What other bad foods can you eliminate?
You can fixate on being a perfect, clean eater.
Thats what happened to Stinson, whose eating habits
became so strict that she lost her period, a condition called
amenorrhea thats associated with infertility and osteoporosis.
One of my doctors asked me if I had an eating disorder. And
I said, No! Im just gluten-free, and that was the end of the con-
versation. My doctor bought it, Stinson recalls.
DIAGNOSIS FAIL
Its easy to go to a doctor looking to be told you have an allergy
and have that validated. Some make tons of money running
allergy tests that may not be medically necessary, says Dr.
Dennis. Another tack: Self-diagnosing, then cutting out certain
foods. After all, no one dies from ditching crackers and bread.
Still, axing entire food groups without input from a doctor or
dietitian means you may not get all the nutrients you need to
feel your best. For example, eliminate wheat and you may lack
fiber and energizing B vitamins. Cut out dairy and you may fall
short on bone-building calcium and mood-boosting vitamin D.
Assuming youre healthy, theres also no evidence that
restric tive diets like gluten-free are the path to skinny, finds
a study in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Die-
tetics. Research shows that diets, especially ones that make
you feel deprived of your
favorite foods, can cause
cravings, trig ger binges,
and cause you to regain the
weightand then some.
If you have reason to
suspect that you have a food
intolerance, you need a
team on your side to diag-
nose and treat you. At
min imum, dont give your-
self a life sentence against a food you love for no reason.
Ask your doctor for a referral to a board-certified allergy spe-
cialist who can pinpoint problem-causing foods. A registered
dietitian specializing in allergies and sensitivities can develop a
healthy diet for you. And if you suspect you have an eating disor-
der, talk to a specialist. (Get started using the free chat line at
NationalEatingDisorders.org.) Warning signs that something
may be up include an obsession with eating clean, a long list of
foods that are off-limits and a short list of whats okay, and
withdrawal from friends and family.
Today, Stinson focuses on listening to her body. Sometimes
it feels good to have sweets, and sometimes I want veggies, she
says. But I know that theres no point in putting so much
pressure on myself.
Dont give yourself a
life sentence against
a food you love
for no reason.
18 WEEKS
BEFORE
Monica used the key ingredients in Hydroxycut

with
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and 8-week studies using key ingredients and a calorie-
reduced diet lost 20.94 lbs. and 16.50 lbs.
Thanks to Hydroxycut

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Hot & Healthy Workout


186 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
I Dream
of Bikini
DOUBLE TAKE
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS
1 Get in plank position with your
shoulders over your hands, legs straight.
2 Bring one knee quickly into your chest
before bringing it straight out behind you
again to starting position. As soon as your
leg is straight, bring the opposite knee
into your chest. Repeat for one minute.
On model:
Sports bra, Athleta, $48,
athleta.com; leggings,
Calvin Klein Performance,
$49, amazon.com;
shoes, Lacoste, $95,
zappos.com; dumbbells,
C9 by Champion,
$4.49, target.com
WHAT IT IS
A head-to-toe sculpting workout,
designed by the experts at
Barrys Bootcamp for The Cosmo
Bikini Diet. Pick up your copy
wherever books are sold!
HOW TO DO IT
Do the routine twice a week on
non consecutive days with
5-pound dumbbells. (Increase
the weight if it feels too easy.)
Plus, log at least 15 minutes of
cardio three times a week.
FITNESS
86
ulders over your hands, legs straig
ring one knee quickly into your ch
re bringing it straight out behind
n to starting position. As soon as
s straight, bring the opposite kne
your chest. Repeat for one minut
Drive your knees
as far forward
as you can.
2
Look smokin on
spring break (and
every other day) with
these fat-burning,
body-firming moves.
out,
mo
n
e
of
h
1 Holding a dumbbell
in each hand, stand with
feet hip-width apart.
Lift the dumbbells to
shoulder-height to
complete a biceps curl,
palms facing each other.
2 At the top of the curl,
press dumbbells
overhead until your arms
are straight.
3 Now lower dumbbells
behind your head,
keeping your elbows as
close together as possible.
Pause, then press
dumbbells back overhead
and lower to shoulder-
height. Slowly lower
dumbbells back to thighs.
Repeat for one minute.
Do three sets.
BERS
ght.
hest
you
your
ee
te.
1
1 2 3
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.
1 Lie on the floor, legs
straight, each hand
gripping one side of a
dumbbell with arms
straight and
overhead.
2 Bring your head,
shoulders, and straightened
arms up and over while
simultaneously lifting your
straightened legs. Your
dumbbell and toes will meet
over your belly button.
Lower yourself back to
starting position on the
floor. Repeat for 30 seconds.
Do three sets.
AMP UP YOUR A.M.
Kick off your day with a few min utes
of cardio: jump rope, squat jumps,
whatever you feel like. Youll torch
50 calories before workthat adds
up if you do it every day.
RECHARGE MUSCLES
Epsom salt is packed with magne-
sium, a mineral that helps relieve
muscle and joint pain. Pour one cup
into a tub of hot water to soak away
soreness. Available at drugstores
DEFLATE
YOUR BELLY
Dehydration builds
up air in your colon,
inflating your
stomach. Lose the
pooch by drinking at
least 32 ounces of
water a day. $9.99,
waterbobble.com
LIZ PLOSSER
SNACK SMARTER
Make sure your nutrition bars are
low in sugarotherwise theyll
spike your blood sugar
and make you
crave even more
sweet stuff.
These new Kind
Healthy Grains Bars
are a good option.
Available at
supermarkets
More
Slimmers
From
The Cosmo
Bikini
Diet
Your legs
should be
straight as
you raise
them.
D
Y
D
u
i
s
p
l
w
w
1 Stand with feet hip-width apart.
Position your left foot a couple
of feet behind you, then lean your
chest toward the floor.
2 Quickly bring your left knee
toward your chest, and then extend
it back again to tap the floor.
Repeat for one minute; then switch
legs and repeat for one minute on
the other side. Do three sets.
BE MORE ZEN
Yoga doesnt just tone
muscles. Its also a
proven way to mini-
mize stresswhich
can help curb emo-
tional eating. Find a
class at Yoga
Finder.com. Mat,
$48, lululemon.com
TER
tone
o a
ni-
hich
o-
d a

om
low in sugaroth
spike yo
a
c
sw
The
Hea
are a
Avail
supe
2
Win a Trip!
Flaunt your fit body on a
vacay for you and three
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JACKKNIFE
1 Standwithfeet hip-widthapart
1
You can
swing your
arms for
balance.
SNA
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clas
Find
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PHOTOGRAPHED BY PERRY HAGOPIAN
FASHION EDITOR: CATHERINE PERIDIS
2
1
KNEE-UPS
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ogxbeauty.com | ogxbeauty
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 189
LIVE IT UP!
Fun, Fearless
WRITTEN AND EDITED
BY HELIN JUNG
D A Y
Whether youre Miss Independent
or you have a significant other,
your Valentines Day can be all
kinds of fun if you just let it. Kick
back, read on, and get your
little cupids wheels turning.
THE

Best Way
to Spend
WRITTENAND EDITED
BY HELINJUNG
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Live It Up! Valentines Day
190 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
So youre in a relationship and
everything is peachy. Except on
Feb. 14, when expectations escalate.
(Where the @*%$ are my roses,
amirite?) Why put the burden on him?
Instead, give him a home-cooked
meal that brings him to his knees.
2. TIME FOR DINNER There may not be
a faster way to a mans heart than to cook
him a dish that reminds him of his mom.
These meatballs come from Danny Amend
of Brooklyns Marcos restaurantor more
accurately, from his mom. For dessert? Tira-
misu. Silky, sweet, and sexy (it means lift
me up it has no choice). Your boy will look
at you with meatballs in his eyes for weeks.
1. WHEN HE WALKS IN,
put him at ease. Offer a
glass of bubbly, something
easy and affordable to start.
Once hes settled, surprise
him with a bouquet t for a
dudeone made of salami
(!!!). After he unwraps his
bouquet, pull out some olives
and a block of your favorite
cheese and youve got
appetizers done and done.
3. EXTRA-NICE TOUCHES
Dont you want to get fancy?
The 2009 Alexander Valley
Cabernet from Silver Oak ($70,
silveroak.com) tastes amaz-
ingits elegant and oral.
And a pinch of Oregon Pinot
Noir Flake Salt from Jacobsen
Salt Company ($11.95,
jacobsensalt.com) will take
your already awesome dinner
over-the-top in the best way.
4. DISH DUTY CAN WAIT Use candles in the bed-
room (or all around your place; youll look amazing
in the light) to set the tone. After dinner, take his
hand and lead him down the path to glory. At this
point, hell be ready. Arent you glad you stayed
home? The bedroom is so much closer this way.
WITH
your
lovahhh
WANT TO MAKE THESE
MEATBALLS? DOWNLOAD
COSMOS TABLET EDITION
FOR THE FULL RECIPE.
+
Now were
really
cooking.
Three-Stem
Salami
Bouquet, Olympic
Provisions, from
$50, olympic
provisions.com
Silver Alumi-
num Taper
Holders, Pier
1 Imports,
from $10,
pier1.com
1. Have fun. Drink
something; play some
good music. Shake off
those nerves. Offer him a
taste. Give him a little job.
2. Be prepared and
organized. No one
wants to see your
practice moves at
rehearsal.
3. Welcome him in.
Be confident in who
you are. Make him feel
like you want him
there. Thats huge.
4. Be casual but sexy.
Wear a tee shirt that
slips off your shoulder,
put your hair up loosely,
and go barefoot.
Wine, Dine, and Shine
Roy Choi, chef and author of L.A. Son,
gives his tips on how a girl keeps it
together on a night like this.
HOW ARE YOU SPENDING FEB. 14 THIS YEAR?
SHARE YOUR IDEAS @COSMOPOLITAN #VDAY.
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FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 191
Not everyone can be coupled up on
Valentines Day, but aint no thing. Dont
have a boyfriend? DGAF. A night out with
your girls can be way more fun than a
pressure-filled romantic evening anyway.
RECIPE COURTESY OF STEFAN
RICHTER OF L.A. FARM
For a
sweeter
garnish,
use
maraschino
cherries.
on
Dont
t with
an a
nyway.
RECIPE COURTESY OF STEFA
RICHTER OF L.A. FA FF RM
For a
sweete
garnish
use
marasch
cherrie
a a
WITH
your
friends
3. FILL YOUR PRETTY BELLIES
Dont pregame too hardyoure
also going out for dinner tonight!
Its going to be mushy in most
date-night restaurants, so get
creative and pick the kind
of spot thats going to give you
an experience, not mood lighting
and serenades.
Find a teppanyaki restaurant, and
get ready for some knife-to-griddle
showmanship. Its a fun atmosphere,
and youre sitting at a big table, not
surrounded by couples gazing into
each others eyes.
Head to a tiki bar, and order a
drink thats big enough for your whole
crew. Rhumbar, in Las Vegas, offers a
48-ounce cocktail called The Scorpion
Bowl that ts anywhere from one to,
oh, 20 straws.
For something tailored, head to
a chefs counter. Danny Ye at Richie
Notars Harlow, in NYC, prepares a
custom menu for each party. With your
back to the room, youll feel like youre
getting a private dining experience.
INGREDIENTS
Tall Drink of
Water
1
1
/2 ounces vodka
1 ounce cranberry juice
1 ounce lemonade
Sparkling wine
Cranberries for garnish
Shake rst 3 ingre-
dients in a cocktail
shaker, strain into a
champagne glass
lled with ice, and top
with wine. Garnish
with cranberries.
2. DRINK TO ALL THAT
Once youve clocked out
and shut down your work
machine, youre now ready
to unwind. Gather the troops
to pre-party at your place,
where youll be making
delicious drinks that get
everybody limber for an
awesome evening.
1. SAY IT WITH VALENTINES
Remember when you used to
pass out those adorable valen-
tines to your classmates in grade
school? How much fun was it to
get heart-shaped candies in your
cubby? Bring it back big-girl style
by sending your friends chocolates,
lollipops, and notes that are all
grown up.
See page 198 for shopping
information.
Let your hair
down, and blow it
out for girls night.
4. BRING THE PARTY TO THE COUCH
Change into your pjs, break-and-bake some cookies, and
rewatch some Scandal or Orange Is the New Black. When
the lights go out, its time to talk gossip and hopes and
dreams. Could you ask for a more perfect night?
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192 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
THROW THE
Live It Up!
EVER!
EVER!
Its a girls worst-kept secret: We dont all like the Super Bowl for the
first downs (guac and halftime, on the other hand). But you bet your
ass we love game day, and its all thanks to Puppy Bowl. This years event
premieres on February 2 at 3 p.m. ET/PT on Animal Planet. Hut, hut!
cutest
MOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2
PUPPY
BOWL
PARTY
201 01 00111 01 01 0001111 00000111 01 01 00111 0 4
Puppy Chow For sweet snacking, you
must make a bowl or two of the Midwestern
treat puppy chow. (Dont worry; its for humans.)
Blogger Mandi Johnson of Making Nice in
the Midwest created this black-and-white
version just for Cosmo. Dont be surprised if
it disappears as soon as its put out.
Hot Dogs Check out these tricked-out
dogs on the menu at Cincinnatis Senate
pub. Top your all-beef franks his way,
or do your own inspired take on the
Hello Kitty 2.0 (to be eaten during the
kitty halftime show, obviously).
Hello Kitty 2.0
Coleslaw, bacon, wasabi mayo,
sesame seeds, and crushed
wasabi peas
White-Trash Wedding
Beer cheese, bacon,
barbecue sauce, coleslaw,
and fried-onion straws
Trailer Park
American cheese, bacon,
coleslaw, and crushed
barbecue potato chips
Mexico City
Grilled corn, guacamole,
bacon, chipotle mayo,
Chihuahua cheese, and
crispy tortillas
Beer Mustard Top burgers,
hot dogs, or pretzels with
this football-appropriate
condiment from Richard
Gras of Oak in Dallas.
Use a dog bowl to
really drive home the
puppy point.
Cross Stitch Bowl
with Woof, ORE Pet,
$10.99, wag.com
).
ayo,
aw,
Gimme that
MENU FORMATION
THROW THE
30
INGREDIENTS INGREDIENT
Peanut-Butter
Cookies One thing
dogs and humans have
in common: a love of
peanut butter. Try
these cookies from
Laurent Tourondel of
NYCs Arlington Club.
Use a bone-shaped
cookie cutter, and store
them in a treat jar for
your well-behaved pals.
FIND ALL THE
DELICIOUS
RECIPES FROM
OUR PUPPY-
BOWL MENU ON
COSMOS TABLET
EDITION!
DOWNLOAD IT
NOW FOR HOW-
TOS AND STEP-
BY-STEP PHOTOS.
FIND ALL THE
DELICIOUS
RECIPES FROM
OUR PUPPY-
BOWL MENUO
COSMOS TAB
EDITION!
DOWNLOAD I
NOW FOR HOW
TOS AND STE
BY-STEP PHO
FIND ALL THE
haped
ecutter, and store
them in a treat jar for
your well-behaved pals.
PUPPY BOWL
STATS
66
30
CHEER
SQUAD
PUPPIES
KITTENS
PENGUINS
The Hail Mary
We love this take on a Bloody Mary
from Ryan Csanky of Portlands Wild-
wood bar. Why? Because it has bacon,
which is totally our kind of pigskin.
teaspoon salt
Freshly cracked black pepper to taste
ounce fresh lime juice
ounce Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce
ounce hot sauce
2 ounces Bacon-Chive Tomato Puree (see recipe)
4 ounces pilsner beer
Bacon-Chive Tomato Puree
Puree 6 thick strips of bacon, 6 sprigs of
chives, and 12 ounces of tomato juice in
blender until smooth. Refrigerate.
Combine ingredients in cocktail shaker (or other
large mixing vessel). Stir aggressively. Do not
shake! Shaking carbonated beverages will result
in a at drink, a big mess, or both. Pour into a
beer mug, and garnish with chive sprigs, a lime
peel, and a strip of bacon.
Have chargers ready so your friends
dont even have to ask. Store them
in this grassy charging station from
Kikkerland Design ($35, kikkerland
.com). Adorable and helpful.
Gadget Move
Follow @MeepTheBird for live
tweets from inside the stadium.
Patty Melt With a drink in one
hand and this game changer of a
burger (complete with homemade
Thousand Island dressing!)courtesy
of NYCs The Butterflyin the other,
your Puppy Bowl experience will
be pretty much perfect.
from the
Columbus Zoo
You know the Puppy Bowl is killing me
softly. Cuteness overload. @MileyCyrus
+
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194 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014

Aquarius
(
JAN. 20FEB. 18
)
LIBRA
You are both very sociable and
love to spend time with your
friendsbut also know how to
make each other top priority.
GEMINI
Hes as spontaneous as you
are! You two are always
communicating and exploring
ideas (and fantasies) together.
TAURUS (APRIL 21MAY 21)
FOCUS ON: A work shake-up. Things are
changing in the ofce around the 11th,
but if you are able to adapt to the new way
of thinking, youll come out a winner.
YOUR MANTRA: Youre never too old to
learn. Immerse yourself in a new world by
picking up a book on an unfamiliar topic.
DONT BOTHER: Overindulging at the
lunch line. Sadly, eating your feelings
only ends up making you feel worse.
POWER OF ATTRACTION: An out-of-town
adventure will turn up the heatand give
you a much-needed escape!
ARIES (MARCH 21APRIL 20)
FOCUS ON: Your pals. Get together for a
clothing swap, and enjoy bonding time and
some fab new stuff! YOUR MANTRA: Be
cautiously optimistic. You like to charge
headrst into new situations, but keep a
realistic perspective on the 26th, when
something appears too good to be true.
DONT BOTHER: Stressing about a situation
you dont have control over. There will be a
positive outcome. POWER OF ATTRACTION:
A friendship could turn into something
more! Dont worryif you enjoy the same
activities, you will be golden together.
PISCES (FEB. 19MARCH 20)
FOCUS ON: Your stuff. You are such a giver,
always making time for your people, but this
month, take care of you! YOUR MANTRA:
Channel your divine intuition. On the 24th,
a once-a-year event will occur, uniting the
Sun and creative Neptune. Make the most
of it by recording all ideas you have that day.
DONT BOTHER: Being overly perfectionistic.
Give a coworker a break even if she doesnt
do things exactly the way you do. POWER
OF ATTRACTION: Youre all about romantic
nights at home. Invest in nice new sheets to
make nights chez vous extra sexy.
STELLAR GIFTS Spunkiness
and honesty are two of the
qualities that make you an
adored and valued friend.
BLIND SPOTS You can be set
in your ways and stubborn.
FASHION FAVES Bright colors
go with your cheerfulness,
and your independent
spirit contributes to your
looks modern edge.
INDULGENCE Private, alone
time helps you balance
out your busy social life.
SEDUCTION STYLE You are
always up for trying new
things with your guy!
MONTH AHEAD Inspiration
is in the air! Grab a jour nal,
and track dreams or
insights that pop up. Music
and art events will feed
your creativityand you
might find some hunky,
sensitive guys there too!
YEAR AHEAD Your desires
for your love life are shift-
ing, so be confident and
embrace your playful side.
Exploring new ways to
express yourself will pay
off. An exciting career pos-
sibility emerges in April,
and August is your time
to really shine. Travel and
romance are in the cards
for October and December.
Aquarius
Your Love Matches
Natalie Dormer
February 11, 1982
Elizabeth Banks
February 10, 1974
Kerry Washington
January 31, 1977
Eliz
Febr
COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
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y 31, 1977

Lauren Conrad
February 1, 1986
BIRTHDAY
GIRLS
Get a sneak peek at what to look forward to
and what to watch out for this month.
BY AURORA TOWER @AuroraAstro
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Cosmo Astrologer
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 195
LEO (JULY 23AUG. 22)
FOCUS ON: The sparks that y during
the Full Moon in your sign on the 14th!
Grab your guy and nd a quiet spot for
stargazingwith a snuggly blanket to keep
your bodies warm and cozy together. YOUR
MANTRA: Pamper your loved ones. Treat
your bestie to some one-on-one time at
the spa. DONT BOTHER: Announcing a new
plan or project before the details have been
nalized. POWER OF ATTRACTION: This is
a home-run month for romance! Take the
focus off of yourself by spending a whole
day doing things that he enjoys. Hell be so
grateful, the night will be one to remember!
VIRGO (AUG. 23SEPT. 22)
FOCUS ON: New ways to feel good. Buy
some new gear, and try out the exercise
class youve been curious about. Youll be
hooked (and smoking hot!). YOUR MANTRA:
Everything in moderation. Enjoy balancing
your healthy new routine with some
splurgeworthy dinners. DONT BOTHER:
Firing off an angry e-mail to a friend or
coworker near the 6th, when your ruler,
verbal Mercury, goes into retrograde.
POWER OF ATTRACTION: Your guy may have
a surprise in store for you! Stay open-
minded and try a new, ahem, idea he has.
Youre going to like it more than you think!
GEMINI (MAY 22JUNE 20)
FOCUS ON: Your education. Sign up for an
online class or a seminar at a local studio.
You will come in contact with people wholl
really inspire you. YOUR MANTRA: Be a
visionary! You have great momentum at work
on the 15th. Dont worry about how things
should be donedo them your way! DONT
BOTHER: Picking a ght with one of your
siblings or roommates. You are bound to get
on each others nerves sometimes! Just let
it go. POWER OF ATTRACTION: You will be
getting major love vibes from your guy this
month! Taking a long, scenic hike or bike ride
together will lead to serious romance.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23NOV. 21)
FOCUS ON: Quality time with your family.
Its been a busy few months and you
deserve some downtime to catch up
with your parents and siblings, so plan
a trip home. YOUR MANTRA: Be clear.
Misunderstandings lead to hurt feelings, so
watch your words carefully. DONT BOTHER:
Planning any work moves. Its better to wait
until after Mercury goes direct on the 28th.
POWER OF ATTRACTION: February 25th is
a ve-star date night, when loving Venus
connects with Saturn in your sign. Things
may get serious with your guy! Spend some
time together at a romantic restaurant.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23OCT. 22)
FOCUS ON: Planning a party. This is one of
the best months for you socially. Grab your
crew and ice skates, hit a local rink, and
make some memories. YOUR MANTRA:
Redecorate. When artistic Venus joins
transformative Pluto on the 1st, you are
primed to give your apartment a stellar
makeover. DONT BOTHER: Letting a project
slide. You may think its not that important,
but your boss will beg to differ. POWER OF
ATTRACTION: Cut loose! As Pink would
say, dont be fancy, just get dancy! A dance
party at home can be as fun as at a club, and
you can take off your clothes.
CANCER (JUNE 21JULY 22)
FOCUS ON: Trying some new moves in
bed! You are feeling sexually adventurous
this month and cant wait to get outside
your comfort zone in the bedroom. YOUR
MANTRA: Express yourself. Intimacy
requires communication. Sometimes you
hold back your feelings. Open up to get to
the next level. DONT BOTHER: Having a
jealous are-up when you catch your guy
chatting with another chicaits very
innocent! POWER OF ATTRACTION: The
28th is one of your best romance days of
the year! An extravagant gesture or gift will
show him how passionate you really are.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22JAN. 19)
FOCUS ON: A nancial opportunity. You
have the chance to get a promotion or make
some extra income now. Buckle down and
ght for the chance to prove yourself! YOUR
MANTRA: Quality over quantity. You have a
taste for the ner things in life, but dont let
glitz and glamour distort your perspective.
DONT BOTHER: Holding a grudge against
a friend. You guys will work through this.
POWER OF ATTRACTION: The 26th is one
of the hottest days of the yearwhen
the Moon and Venus hook up in your sign!
Treat yourself and your love to something
indulgent that you can enjoy together.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22DEC. 21)
FOCUS ON: Acting on one of those great
ideas youre always having. Hatch a serious
plan over a bottle of wine with a friend you
really trust. YOUR MANTRA: Deliver random
acts of kindness. Make it your mission to
brighten someones day every day, and see
how much better your own days become.
DONT BOTHER: Scattering your energies in
too many directions. Shelve a project that
no longer inspires you so you can focus
on what does. POWER OF ATTRACTION: A
romance from the past could crop up when
Mercury moves into retrograde on the 13th.
Hear him out; things may have changed.
WHAT HES IN THE MOOD
FOR THIS MONTH
The Aquarius Man
LOVES Curious and thoughtful women
who have many hobbies and interests.
HATES Boredom and closed-mindedness.
DREAM DATE Trying new things and
sharing experiences is his favorite, so
scope out new shows and restaurants.
WIN HIM OVER By being up for anything!
He loves to be spontaneous with his girl.
Aquarius He loves to be fussed over.
Plan a surprise birthday party for him that
has all his favorite food and people!
Pisces If he needs some solo time this
month, give him space, but send a cute text
or two to make him smile (and miss you).
Aries He is all about guy stuff right
now. Be a champ and head to the sports
bar with his crew to show your team spirit!
Taurus Work may become really
demanding for him. Perk him up with an
unexpected feast when he gets home.
Gemini He loves adventure, so take
him on a mountain retreat. Hit the slopes
during the day, and get cozy at night.
Cancer Sexual experimentation is
on the schedule! Try some new moves
together now and your sex life will soar.
Leo Its okay to make him a little jealous
once in a while! Reminding him how
irresistible you are will make him go crazy.
Virgo The couple that exercises
together, stays together. Make gym dates;
he will love showing off his hot bod.
Libra He is in a playful mood! A night
of board games will stir up his competitive
juices and get things heated before bed.
Scorpio Quality time with your guy
and his family will reveal your supportive,
sensitive side.
Sagittarius Show him you know
how to get things done by scoring tix to his
fave band or a table at the hot bite in town.
Capricorn Some sexy new lingerie
will really turn him on. A slow, sensual
massage with hot oils will also do the trick!
AURORAS
FINAL
WORD
Communication-oriented Mercury will be in retrograde for most of February, from the 6th to the 28th. But wait! Its not all doom and gloom.
While this phenomenon often gets a bad rap for shaking up travel plans and wreaking havoc on electronics, there can be a positive side. Use
this time to reconnect with old friends and tie up loose ends, which will prime you for new projects when Mercury goes direct!
Harry Styles
February 1, 1994
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Red-Hot Read
196 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Evie James is a tech whiz who
runs her own successful company,
which means she spends most of her
time developing genius apps. Shes
always been the power player in her
relationshipsbut shes never been
with anyone who has made her
lose control. That is, until she nds
herself designing a new male-
seduction app for Flirt magazine,
and she meets Caleb Anderson,
heir to the Holden-Anderson media
empire, which owns Flirt. As a
well-known master of the one-night
stand, Caleb is more than happy
to help Evie develop her 50 Sex
Tips app. But both of them quickly
discover they can pretend that what
theyre doing is eld research for
only so long.
Of course he had a mansion
on the beach. He was that kind
of guy. A sleek, modern mansion
that looked like a cubist work of
artwindows facing the ocean,
moon glinting o the waves. Palm
trees and oleander surrounded the
secluded propertyan oasis on the
crowded strip of Malibu coast.
He pushed the door open, and
she walked inside. She was nervous
and turned on already.
Could you kiss me again? she
asked, as soon as he closed the door
behind them.
He placed his thumb on her
cheek and traced a line from there
to her temple. I would very much
like you to fuck me.
Her chest tightened, her heart
rate speeding up. No man had ever,
ever said anything like that to her.
Ever. And shed never thought she
would like it. But she did.
Id like that too.
Caleb wrapped his arms around
her and pulled her close, brush-
ing her hair back from her face
before he leaned in and captured
her mouth with his. It was deep,
intense, not like any kiss shed
ever experienced before. A little
zip of pain shot from her lip down
straight to her core when he bit her.
It made her think of a kind of sex
shed never experienced. The kind
shed craved but never asked for.
Tonight with Caleb, though, just
one night, she could have whatever
she wanted.
Chocolates never
arrived? The owers
were from your dad?
No worries. Curl up
with your Cosmo, a
big glass of red wine,
and treat yourself
to our latest steamy
novella. Happy
Valentines Day!
DAYS
WORK
ALL IN A
EXCLUSIVE COSMO EXCERPT
EXCERPTED FROM CRAZY, STUPID SEX,
BY MAISEY YATES
Red-Hot Read
FEBRUARY 2014 | COSMOPOLITAN 197
What do you like? he asked.
Tell me your 50 tips, he said while
he kissed her neck, down to her
collarbone.
I likeI want.
Tell me.
Shed been the leader in her past
relationships. And while in some
ways that suited her, she didnt
want that. Not tonight.
He reached behind her head and
wrapped his ngers around her
hair, pulling it all into his grasp
before winding it around the back
of his hand and forcing her to tilt
back her head.
Like this? he asked.
Yes, she said.
I wouldnt have thought you
were that kind of girl, he said,
leaning in, pressing his lips to the
tender skin of her neck.
Me neither. We surprise
ourselves. Oh! He bit her again,
tugging a little harder on her hair.
Good?
Yes. But I think I need you to
touch me. ImIm. She was
about to come and he hadnt even
touched her breasts.
He kissed her again, this time
tender. Sof. A line of sweet kisses
that stood at odds with the rm grip
he had on her hair. The contrast was
intense. Intoxicating. He pushed
her back against the wall and
released her hair, slid his hands
down her arms and lifed them over
her head, his grip strong on her,
holding her in place.
Shall I touch you? he asked.
He kept her prisoner with one
large hand, lowering the other and
drawing his nger over her lips,
tracing the outline of them.
Yes, she said, desperate now.
There was nothing teasing or
humorous on his face now, his
expression echoing the deep inten-
sity inside her.
Not yet, he said.
She arched her back, bringing
her aching breasts more rmly
against his chest, looking for some
relief from the pounding need that
was roaring through her.
All he was doing was holding
her, his hand tight on her like an
iron cu, his eyes intent on hers.
And yet she felt like she was on the
edge. The nerves gone now, replaced
by desire and curiosity.
Then his hand was back in her
hair, her arms freed, his thumb
and forenger still on her chin. He
pulled back her head and kissed her
lips, his tongue delving deeply.
He pulled away. Whats under
your dress? Panties? No panties?
She thought about the red lace
thong shed put on earlier. Shed
dressed for success, as one of the
tips the app would suggest. Feel
sexy all over and youll look sexy all
over. She lifed the hem of her dress.
He looked down at the lace
thong, which framed the V at the
apex of her thighs more than it
concealed it. I like them. A lot. But
I think right now they have to go.
He hooked his ngers in the
waistband of the underwear and
drew them down her legs slowly, his
body following the motion until he
was on his knees in front of her.
Got any sex tips for me while
Im down here? he asked, lean-
ing in, his breath hot as he gently
parted her with his ngers and
icked his tongue over her clit.
She put her hands at on the
wall behind her, curling her nails
against the smooth plaster as he
slid his tongue over her slick esh.
Spread your legs, he said, his
tone demanding. And she had no
reason to disobey.
He cupped her butt, his nger-
tips pressing into her as his warm
tongue stirred inside her.
She laced her ngers through
his hair, holding him to her as he
continued. She was soso close.
Then he moved his hand, slid
his ngers between her thighs, and
slipped one nger deep inside her.
Then he was kissing her. She could
taste herself on him. A reminder of
what he had done for her.
Well make it to the bed later,
he said, tugging his shirt over his
head, revealing toned, dened
muscles shed rarely seen outside
a magazine. As he worked to free
himself from his pants, he slipped
her dress up to her stomach and
hooked her thigh over his hip.
Her eyes were glued to his erec-
tion. He was a very, very big man.
He took a condom out of his
wallet, then looked at her, smiling
when he saw what she was looking
at. He rolled on the condom and
braced his hand on the wall as he
slowly pushed himself into her, a
small gasp escaping his lips.
Are you okay? he asked.
Yes, she said, panting. Ive just
nevernot with anyone this.
You sure? he asked.
Dont stop.
Im not going to stop. He moved
against her, his pelvis coming into
contact with her clit, sending a
spike of pleasure through her.
She rocked against him.
He pulled back, then thrust back
into her, hard. Shed never had sex
like thisagainst a wall, unable to
wait for the next thrust.
Every time he moved away from
her, she wanted to pull him straight
back, and every time he plunged
back into her, she wanted to cry out
from the pleasure. She did cry out.
Then he bent down and kissed
her neck, his lips warm and sof,
just as he thrust back into her. And
then her orgasm shattered through
her. She dug her nails into his back,
his hard muscles tensing beneath
her ngertips as he lost himself.
Aferward, they stood there,
panting, bodies slick.
Well, he said, his breathing
fractured, its a damn good thing
we have all night.
SHED NEVER HAD SEX LIKE
THISAGAINST A WALL, UNABLE
TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT THRUST.
Excerpted from Crazy,
Stupid Sex, by USA Today
best-selling author Maisey
Yates, the latest in the
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads
from Harlequin line
of books. Preorder your
copy today.
NEED A LITTLE MORE STEAMY READING? COSMOS TABLET EDITION HAS AN EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page 3: Bec and Bridgebecandbridge.com
.au. BelstaffBelstaff, 212-897-1880. Deborah
PaganiBarneys NY. Elizabeth and James
Nina at Fred Segal, 310-458-8820. Djula
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COVER GIRL QUIZ
Page 22: Blumarineblumarine.com. Shay
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ON TOP OF THE WORLD AT 20
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MarniBergdorf Goodman. Delpozomoda
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tine CoutureEllen Christine, 212-242-2457.
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CRAZY SEXY NEUTRALS
Pages 166 to 167: Este Lauderesteelauder
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Kirna Zabete, 212-941-9656. Shylee Rose Jew-
elryshyleerose.com. Zoe ChiccoSaks Fifth
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elizabetharden.com Marc JacobsMarc
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212-879-6100. Shay Accessoriesshay
accessories.com.
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COSMOPOLITAN HARD ROCK HOTEL SAN DIEGO
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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN.
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legal resident of the 50 United States or the District of
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law. Sweepstakes subject to complete official rules
available at Cosmopolitan.com/HardRock.
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Page 171: MACmaccosmetics.com. Make Up
For Eversephora.com. Este Lauderestee
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Page 191: XOXO Sticky Notes, Knock Knock,
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200 COSMOPOLITAN | FEBRUARY 2014
Mostly As
Youre a Sexual
Homebody
Your erotic passport is
depressingly emptybut
it doesnt have to be! The
easiest way to become more
sexually adventurous is to
introduce humor into the
bedroom, says sex therapist
Sadie Allison. Read cheesy
erotica out loud together,
or buy your guy a hilarious
penis holster thong (Google
it), and have him model it.
Creating laughter can feel
more natural than trying to
be sexy, but it has the same
effect of deepening your
bond, Allison says. Truth.
Mostly Bs
You Need a
Tour Guide
Youre happy to tag along
on a sexual expedition, but
youre not one to take the
lead. Its time to gure out
what gets you offthen try
it with your guy. Theres
nothing wrong with plan-
ning ahead, says Allison.
For example, think about
something dirty you want
to say in bed and actually
practice it during the day
your sexual self-esteem
will skyrocket.
Mostly Cs
Youre the
Christopher
Columbus of Sex
Congrats! You have no prob-
lem sailing into a stormy
ocean of sexual adventure.
But for all the kink websites
bookmarked on your iPhone
and handcuffs in your
dresser, dont forget to tone
things down once in a while
and enjoy some old-school
sexjust you and your
man, no riding crops. Thats
some serious sexploration.
Theyre like
the Lewis and
Clark of sex.
a. Order a second Bloody
Mary and try to calm the
increasingly hysterical
Charlotte in your head.
b. Get as many details
as possible. You may be a
novice at sex toys with the
horsepower of a Ferrari,
but hopefully not for long.
c. Jump in with your own
Berlusconi bunga bunga
story. Ah, the presidential
suite... #Memories #2010
a. Shut it downthats
an exit, not an entrance.
Youre traumatized enough
by an accidental wrong
hole slip.
b. Youd consider it if he
was really into it, super
gentle, and also...wine. A
month of free oral for you
and hes got a deal.
c. Bring on the butt play.
In lubeand beaded butt
plugsyou trust. Thats
basically your life motto.
a. Wonder aloud if you
can get athletes foot on
places besides feetthen
go take a therapeutic
bubble bath.
b. Google Varsity Blues
whipped cream bikini
scene. Your goal: Re-create
it for your anniversary. You
have three months to prep.
c. Order pom-poms
online, and Snapchat him
a pic of yourself in a cheer-
leading skirt. Boom goes
the dynamite tonight.
a. An array of nude briefs
(from taupe to beige),
some misshapen Hanes
sports bras, and your trusty
full-body Spanx!
b. Plenty of Cosabella
boy shorts, some sheer,
which have caused a boner
or two. Cmon, youre not
totally clueless.
c. Please. Agent
Provocateur just called
for your feedback about
their 2014 silk nipple-
tassel collection.
a. Close your eyes, picture
Channing Tatums pecs, and
pray its over quick, making
a mental note to ghost him
from your phone ASAP.
b. Grab his butt and
try slowing the bump-
and-grind, which he
somehow misinterprets
as encouragement (?!?!).
c. Unlock your handcuffs
(with your teeth), ip out of
missionary, and mount him.
Youll show this fool a thing
or two about a thing or two.
1. At brunch, the Samantha of your group shares the saga of her latest one-night
standstarring a Hitachi Magic Wand, a leather blindfold, and Dario Franchitti 2.0. You:
2. Youre in bed with your new manfriend, and his frisky hands keep venturing back to
your butt. How do you address his anal fixation?
3. Your boyfriends sleeping over after work tonight. Maybe you should surprise him
with some naughty underthings? A quick scan of your lingerie drawer reveals:
4. Your guy keeps dropping hints about a role-play fantasysomething about his high
school locker room and a postshower spanking? You:
5. The cute dude youre newly sexing has one move, and unfortunately for you and your
clitoris, that move is the jackhammer. You:
The Breakdown
a
Are You a
Sexplorer?BY ELISA BENSON
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Wild-berry-lover alert. New KINKY

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Target identified.
Strategy?
Need a few more sips.
ITS YOUR CHANCE. EMBRACE IT.
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