proposal

by Edwardo Gonzalez
FILE
TIME SUBMITTED 05-MAR-2014 11:26PM
SUBMISSION ID 403289951
WORD COUNT 1140
CHARACTER COUNT 5560
MOODLE_TEMP_TURNITINTOOL_741019430._15028_1394090775_93914.
DOCX (233.01K)
try combining
first and second
sentences
here.
whose?
good
good
excellent job putting this in your own words!!
return to focus here--finding out which gas is present
APA uses a hanging first line.
spell out these acronyms (GC, etc.)
good
QM
FINAL GRADE
88/100
proposal
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
Edwardo,
I noticed a pattern in your writing you might be able to fix
with practice. I believe it's related to English being your
second language. It's the distinction between singular
and plural and the choice of singular or plural verbs.
You have paragraphs where you always get it right--
that's great--use those as your models.
PAGE 1
PAGE 2
Text Comment. try combining first and second sentences here.
Text Comment. whose?
PAGE 3
Vigorous Verb
Can you find the real/vigorous verb for this sentence? Using that verb will make the sentence more
direct and effective.
Text Comment. good
Text Comment. good
PAGE 4
Text Comment. excellent job putting this in your own words!!
PAGE 5
Text Comment. return to focus here--finding out which gas is present
PAGE 6
Text Comment. APA uses a hanging first line.
PAGE 7
Text Comment. spell out these acronyms (GC, etc.)
PAGE 8
Text Comment. good
RUBRIC: PROPOSAL RUBRIC
RHETORIC:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
RESEARCH:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
ORGANIZATION:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT

Proficient
Audience and Purpose
Audience's needs are often not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and language
needs adjustment for the audience. Purpose (to convince a funding agency to fund your
research) isn't clear or achieved.
Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes defining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to convince a funding agency to fund
your research) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.
Shows attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to convince a funding agency to fund your
research) may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.
Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and
using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to convince a funding agency to fund your
research) is clear and achieved with style.
Advanced
Omits or uses incorrectly MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and
works cited list. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source. Frequently
uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.
A few errors in MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Often includes sources names without introduction. Sometimes uses irrelevant or
unpersuasive sources.
Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Usually introduces each source fullyreader knows who did the research or
communicating, for whom, and why. Use of sources is usually relevant and persuasive.
Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works cited
list. Introduces each source fullyreader knows who did the research or communicating,
for whom, and why. Use of sources is always relevant and persuasive.
Proficient
Organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the
prompt, or illogically connected. Ps are usually not unified or organized.
Organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt, but may be
vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unified.
Clear, specific organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt
and tie ideas together adequately.
ADVANCED
PERSUASION:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
TONE:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
STYLE:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED
Clear, specific organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, transitions) fit the prompt
and tie ideas together logically and seamlessly.
Proficient
Inadequate, inappropriate, or irrelevant reasoning and evidence. Rationale may be missing
or flawed.
Over uses or under-analyzes evidence. May omit reasoning and include some irrelevant or
unpersuasive evidence. Rationale isn't yet persuasive--I'm not sure if this project is worth
funding.
Usually supports the thesis and paragraph claims with persuasive reasoning and credible,
relevant, analyzed evidence. Rationale is persuasive--you'd be on my finalist list.
Supports the thesis and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, and insightful reasoning
and analyzed evidence. Rationale is persuasive--I'd give you the money!
Advanced
Tone and/or design usually suggest/s an absence of awareness of audience and/or generic
conventions.
Tone and/or design are/is sometimes inappropriate or unconventional.
Appropriate tone and design conform to assigned audience and genre.
Sophisticated tone and design engage reader and conform to assigned audience and genre.
Proficient
Sentence-level literacy and style
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability or otherwise distract from
meaning.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
Outstanding control of language, including effective diction and sentence variety.