Annotated Sample 1

Writing One-sentence Summaries

(with identification of sources)
Good Sample
Instruction:

Read the following paragraph and write a one-sentence summary within 35 words that best summarizes
its main idea and the most important points in your own words (with identification of the source of the
paragraph).

It’s fun to travel to another country on a vacation. However, falling ill on a journey may spoil your whole
vacation. To avoid this, you should select your meals carefully. All raw food is subject to contamination.
Particularly in areas where hygiene and sanitation are inadequate, you should avoid salads, uncooked
vegetables, and dairy products such as cheese. Eat only food that has been cooked and is still hot, or fruit
you’ve peeled yourself. Undercooked and raw meat, fish, and shellfish may carry various intestinal
pathogens. Cooked food that has been allowed to stand lukewarm for several hours may provide a fertile
place for bacterial growth and should be thoroughly reheated before serving. Street food vendors have
been associated with increased risk of tummy trouble, so stay away from them. Follow these tips and you
should be able to enjoy your journey all the way.

- Trisha Macnair “Food on a Journey”, BBC Health, September 2006

Good
In “Food on a Journey” (BBC Health, September 2006), Trisha Macnair offers hints to avoid illness
while travelling by eating only cooked or thoroughly reheated food and fresh fruit peeled by
travellers themselves.

Comments
Identification - The author’s name in a correct format, i.e. the full name “Trisha
Macnair” is given; only the last name “Macnair” also acceptable
- Punctuation appropriate: the title of the article in quotation marks,
publication information put in parentheses, and the title of the
publication underlined
Content - Hints to avoid illness while travelling
- No redundant details
Paraphrasing Skills - Most key words substituted with synonyms
- Key ideas presented clearly in a new sentence structure
- Excellent choice of words
- Correct tense (present tense: “Macnair offers…”)

CC 204 0 E ng lis h for Acad e mic S t udie s ( He al th C are) – S tudy G uide

Annotated Sample 1
Writing One-sentence Summaries
(with identification of sources)
Poor Sample

Instruction:

Read the following paragraph and write a one-sentence summary within 35 words that best summarizes
its main idea and the most important points in your own words (with identification of the source of the
paragraph).

It’s fun to travel to another country on a vacation. However, falling ill on a journey may spoil your whole
vacation. To avoid this, you should select your meals carefully. All raw food is subject to contamination.
Particularly in areas where hygiene and sanitation are inadequate, you should avoid salads, uncooked
vegetables, and dairy products such as cheese. Eat only food that has been cooked and is still hot, or fruit
you’ve peeled yourself. Undercooked and raw meat, fish, and shellfish may carry various intestinal
pathogens. Cooked food that has been allowed to stand lukewarm for several hours may provide a fertile
place for bacterial growth and should be thoroughly reheated before serving. Street food vendors have
been associated with increased risk of tummy trouble, so stay away from them. Follow these tips and you
should be able to enjoy your journey all the way.

- Trisha Macnair “Food on a Journey”, BBC Health, September 2006

Poor
In “Food on a Journey”, BBC Health, by Trisha, the writer said it is fun to travel to another
country on a vacation if we avoid uncooked and raw street food.

Comments
Identification - The author’s name in a wrong format, i.e. only the first name
“Trisha” given
- Redundant reference to the writer (“Trisha” and “the writer”)
- Punctuation inappropriate: publication information not in parentheses,
the title of the publication not underlined, the date missing
Content - The main idea, i.e. to avoid illness while travelling, not correctly
captured.
- Some main points either fused together (e.g. uncooked and raw street
food) or missing (e.g. reheated food and fresh fruit peeled by
travellers themselves)
Paraphrasing Skills - Key words not substituted with synonyms
- Words mostly copied from the original passage
- Some key ideas altered in meaning
- Wrong tense (past tense: “the writer said…”)

CC 204 0 E ng lis h for Acad e mic S t udie s ( He al th C are) – S tudy G uide