Counseling Skills

Quick Review
What is Counseling?

According to the American Counseling
Association, counseling is:

The application of mental health, psychological or human
development principles, through cognitive, affective,
behavioral or systemic interventions, strategies that
address wellness, personal growth, or career development,
as well as pathology.
Quick Review
What is Guidance?

Guidance is a process of helping people
make important choices that affect their lives,
such as choosing a preferred lifestyle (Gladding,
2000, pg. 4).
Some Basic Principles
Each client must be accepted as an individual and dealt
with as such (the counselor does not necessarily
approve of all behavior, but still accepts the client as a
person).

Counseling is basically a permissive relationship; that
is, the individual has permission to say what they
please without being reprimanded or judged.
Counseling emphasizes thinking with; not for the
individual.
All decision-making rests with the client.
Some Basic Principles
Counseling is centered on the difficulties of the client.

Counseling is a learning situation which eventually
results in a behavioral change.

Effectiveness in counseling depends largely on the
readiness of the client to make changes and the
therapeutic relationship with the counselor.

The counseling relationship is confidential.

Counseling process
In counseling there is normally a familiar
pattern of sessions - Introduction, Information
Gathering, Discussion, Conclusion and
Homework!
Feeling anxious? Don't worry, the client is
more afraid of you than you are of the client!
:) What matters most of all is the the client
gets to talk and talk and talk AND be truly
heard!
What is Reflection?
Carl Rogers is famous for using this technique.
It is also known as echoing.
Reflection is the mirroring of emotional
communication.
This is done not only to show the client that
the counselor is listening and
empathizing/understanding but is mainly used
to encourage the client to say more.
Its aim is to prompt the client to continue
communicating or carry on by echoing the
thoughts of the client.

Example of Reflection
Below is an example of reflection:
Client: I feel so angry
Counselor: so youre angry about something
then?
Doing this shows the therapist is listening to
the client, understanding him or her and is
also a prompting (or encouragement) to
continue.

How do reflective skills work in
Counseling & Psychotherapy?
There are different reflective skills used to
prompt a client.
Reflective skills use the process of reflecting
back the last few words, a particular phrase or
a paraphrase of the last few words the client
has used.
Different names are given to different ways of
reflecting back the clients words.
Reflective Listening
S: "I'm very depressed today."
C: "You're very depressed, Mr. Smith."
S: "Yes. I haven't been this depressed in a long time."
C: "You haven't been this depressed in a long time."
S: "I'm so depressed that I'm thinking about killing myself."
C: "You're thinking about killing yourself."
S: "I'd like to kill myself right now."
C: "You'd like to kill yourself right now."
S: "Yes, I'm so desperate that I think I'll open this window and jump
out."
C: "You're thinking of jumping out that window."
S: "I'm gonna do it. See? I'm opening the window.... and I'm gonna
jump."
C: "You're going to jump out the window."
S: "Bye. Here I go........ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" (splat)
C: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, splat."

Reflection of Meaning
Purpose: Reflection of meaning tells the client that the
therapist hears and understands the deeper meaning of their
message. Usually this message is one that gives direction to
the clients behavior, values, or their beliefs.

What do therapists do?
After listening to their story, the therapist directly states what
significant, core meaning the client (sometimes indirectly)
communicates.

When: To get to the root of the message. Sometimes the
client is unaware of the message they are communicating
themselves.
Reflection of Feeling
Purpose: Reflection of feeling helps the therapist
communicate to the client that they hear and
understand the core feelings involved in the clients
message.

What does the therapist do?
The therapist emphasizes clients significant emotions
using the same word or phrase equivalent to the
meaning.

When: To connect empathically and bring the emotional
message to the forefront. Utilize as needed.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is an active listening technique
as it proves to the client that you are fully
engaged in the conversation. For example:
Client: I know it doesnt help my depression
to sit around or stay in bed all day.
Counsellor: it sounds like you know you
should avoid staying in bed or sitting around
all day to help your depression.

Paraphrasing
Purpose: Paraphrasing communicates to the client
that the therapist is listening.

What does the therapist do?
Therapists conveys the meaning, tone, feeling,
and/or the content of the clients message by
repeating what the client has said in somewhat
different words.

When: In connecting and building rapport with the
client, to follow along with what is being shared,
and to reflect what the client is expressing.

Examples of Paraphrasing
You have a lot on your plate, Cassie.
Zachary started bugging you in gym, but you got called
out by your coach.
You dont know where to begin.
Im understanding that you are angry because you feel
like you dont feel accepted by the group.
Emma, if I am hearing you correctly, you are really
frustrated with your step mother.





Summarizing
Summarizing involves the counsellor
repeating what they have heard from the
client.
It gives the client the
opportunity to elaborate on what they have
said. It may lead the client to taking back
some of what they have said during the
session.

Tony Thampi
Empathy
You want to build the
relationship with the
client through all the
previously mentioned
skills. Yet all these
skills will be hindered
without the use of
empathy.
Tony Thampi
Empathy
According to Rogers (1961)
This is the ability to enter the clients
phenomenological world, to experience the
clients world as if it were your own without ever
losing the as if quality.
It involves two specific skills:
Perception/understanding of what is taking place
emotionally.
The ability to communicate your understanding of
that to your client.
Tony Thampi
Responding Styles
Counseling is often perceived as just focusing
on feelings. This is not true.

While counseling helps people work through
feelings; how one responds and
communicates with others will effect how
the counselor responds to the client.
Tony Thampi
Responding Styles
Affective Responding.
Focusing on feelings.

Behavioral Responses.
Focusing on actions and behaviors.

Cognitive Response.
Focusing on thoughts and cognitions.

You will balance these throughout the session with a client.