Irrational Reason

The Four Thoughts that turn the mind to practice can be regarded as
the starting point of Dharma. These teachings are immediately
accessible. They can be heard and understood by anyone who is open
to the view they express. This view can be assimilated and can
manifest as change in our attitude and interaction. However, the
generality of these teachings may fail to address the individual nature
of our confusion. We may feel inspired to practise but have particular
issues on which we wish to work. n that case we may be attracted to a
path that draws on the specific colour, texture, and pattern of !my
neurosis!. This is "a#rayana $ the path that effects transformation
through intimate recognition of duality. f we wish to engage in this
path, it is essential to develop a relationship with a %ama $ the va#ra
master
&
.
&
Dor#e %op'n (rDo rJe sLob dPon $ va#ra acharya or va#racharya.) This
could be a man or woman. n the *ro gT+r %ineage we have the tradition of
teaching couples, so a practitioner who has entered va#ra commitment may
have both a male and a female Dor#e %op'n.
We are individual in the ,uality and detail of our lives and we may
feel that the Four Thoughts cannot address the specific issues of our
experience. The path of "a#rayana offers a more individuated
approach to spiritual growth. The fuel of this path is the specific
character of our neurosis and how that manifests in our lives.
"a#rayana offers the opportunity to transform neurotic confusion into
non-dual clarity. f we wish to engage with spiritual practice in this
transformative manner, we re,uire a mirror. We need a %ama who
knows us as individuals, takes an active interest in our spiritual
progress, and guides us in our practice $ through impartial reflection.
The mirror does not choose to reflect some of the ob#ects in front of it
and not others, or to favour some in the manner of its reflection and
not others $ it simply reflects. This is the va#ra master $ described by
.h'gyam Trungpa /inpoche as the dangerous friend
0
. The %ama
reflects !as it is! in order to allow us the freedom to let go of !how it
seems!. Through aligning ourselves with the view of the %ama and
letting go of our own referential rationale, the leap into realisation
becomes possible, and our understanding can be taken beyond theory
and into actualisation.
0
1ee 2Myth of Freedom3 .h'gyam Trungpa /inpoche, 1hambhala, 0440. 1ee
also 2Wearing the Body of Visions3 by 5gakpa .h'gyam .hapter 6, The
Dangerous Friend and .hapter 7, The 8erfect 8recipice $ *ro 9ooks &::6;
and 2Dangerous Friend3 by /ig3d<in Dor#e, 1hambhala, 044&.
The initial venture into spiritual commitment is the ceremony of
refuge.
=
Having heard several %amas give teachings over a period of
one to three years, we feel moved to enter the commitment of
affirming Dharma as our spiritual path. We publicly declare that we
wish to attune ourselves with Dharma view. /efuge will be offered in
the general terms of Dharma as a whole, rather than with regard to a
particular %ama or lineage. Hence, we can take refuge many times
with many different teachers before considering entering a deeper
commitment with an individual %ama or teaching couple.
=
>yab (sKyabs).
5gak!chang /inpoche says of this?
@t is a common error $ both in the Aast and in the West $ for
people to think that taking refuge means aligning oneself to a
specific school and a specific %ama. This is not the case. /efuge
texts will undoubtedly be written according to the inspiration of a
particular lineage, but this does not mean that one has made a
commitment to that lineage or to a %ama of that lineage. The
ob#ects of refuge are 9uddha, Dharma, and 1angha. The common
refuge in all Trans-Himalayan traditions is !%ama, 9uddha,
Dharma, and 1angha! because one comes to the 9uddha, Dharma,
and 1angha through the %ama. When one takes refuge however the
%ama is not named. /efuge belongs to 1utrayana and so there is no
commitment to one specific %ama. Bne may well be both grateful
and inspired by the %ama who offers 9uddhist /efuge, but no
commitment to that %ama is included in the /efuge ceremony.
5aturally if one wishes to make a specific commitment then this is
wonderful $ but it is too early at the point of taking /efuge for the
first time to be considering tantric commitments.C
/efuge may be understood simply as a ceremony in which we take
part when first becoming a 9uddhist. We are given a refuge name as a
symbol of the end of our old life and the beginning of our new life as a
practitioner. We may regard refuge as a stage at which we have
arrived at a particular moment in our lives. *fter this, we consider
refuge as part of the ground of who we are as 9uddhists. t should not
be the case that refuge disappears into the background $ it should be
experienced as a continuing affirmation of our commitment, and as a
deepening source of inspiration and support.
The dictionary
D
defines the word refuge as !shelter or protection from
danger or trouble? an asylum or retreat!. We have looked at the nature
of the danger or threat to which we are vulnerable with regard to the
Four Thoughts. n the context of our lives as 9uddhists, we seek
protection from our own conceptual minds? from our compulsion to
dualistically split reality; from our addiction to conditioned responses
rooted in dualistic preconceptions. We seek protection from the
neurotic tendencies which we employ in order to prevent us
experiencing the natural state.
6
D
.hambers Twentieth .entury Dictionary.
6
5alma (rNal ma) the state of uncontrived relaxation .
>handro D+chen has described /efuge as being !the bottom line!?
@We know that we have established /efuge when we take Dharma
as the base of our reality. f we feel that psychotherapy has better
answers in certain areas then we do not have refuge. This is not to
say that psychotherapy is not of value at certain times, but if am a
9uddhist $ if have authentic /efuge $ then when there is
disparity between Dharma and psychotherapy, trust Dharma. f
choose to trust Dharma then that is where my /efuge lies. f
chose to trust psychotherapy then that is where my refuge lies. f
alternate in my trust between one and the other then have /efuge
in neither $ merely have refuge in myself.C
When we have authentic /efuge, we realise that we are endangered by
our own entrenched tendencies to greed, aggression, self-centredness,
envy, and small mindedness. We begin to comprehend that there is
nothing we can do with samsara that will make it all slot into place
and become perfect. 5gak!chang /inpoche has stated that the main
problem with samsara is not that it is naughty, bad, or wicked, but that
it does not even function in its own terms. He describes samsara as Ea
shoddy malfunctioning product of dualistic derangement $ of which
we are implausibly enamoured.C When we taste this !implausibility!
we reach the point of knowing that real and lasting happiness will not
be found by securing a better #ob or adopting a new lifestyle. %asting
happiness will not be found in a better health regime, clinching a
business deal, or buying a larger house. %asting happiness will not be
found in changing my car or my partner, becoming vegetarian, vegan,
or "ogon; or decided that am allergic to wheat and most other things
that other people eat without a problem. %asting happiness will not be
found by experimenting with different clothes, environment, career,
friends, or adversaries. %asting happiness will not be found in a
tummy tuck, a face-lift, liposuction, silicon implants, or a penis
extension device.
n 5gak!chang /inpoche!s words?
@Aven when you get your ankle length rhinoceros hide coat, thigh
length sealskin boots, and chamois underwear $ it will not be the
end of the ,uest for fulfilment.@
When we understand this with sufficient energy to actually start
practising, then we can discover experientially that the cause of our
dissatisfaction is something fundamentally awry in our view. We
realise that there is nothing in our life circumstances that can be
changed or manipulated to ultimately extinguish our sense of
unsatisfactoriness. We see that it is our own referential relationship
with experience which creates our disease of disgruntlementF,
disaffection, displeasure, dis,uiet, and discombobulationFF.
F to disgrunGtle tr.v. $ to make discontented.
F to discombobulate tr.v. $ to throw into a state of confusion.
9uddhist refuge is unusual in that it does not offer me placation. 5o
mollifying parent will murmur? !There-there $ it will be alright.! t will
not be alright at all $ it will simply be as it is, and how alright that is
depends on how perceive. 9uddhist refuge encourages us to let go of
blame, #ustification, and self-pity, and to take responsibility for how
we feel. /efuge does not sticky tape over the true cause of our
condition. /efuge addresses the root of our unhappiness. Taking
refuge in an authentic spiritual path offers an accurate perspective for
understanding dissatisfaction. t offers methods by which
dissatisfaction can be liberated. f we are in the right frame of mind,
with an open minded group of people, hearing appropriate teachings
being given by an inspirational teacher, at a time in our lives when we
are ready to engage in spiritual practice $ the commitment of refuge is
possible.
t is important to engage in preparation and familiarisation with
Dharma before entering the commitment of refuge. Hain as much
experience of Dharma as possible through hearing teachings, reading
teachings, attending courses, attending retreats, and meeting people
who follow the methods of Dharma. Through this, a feeling of
confidence develops. feel inspired by the teachings. aspire to the
,ualities of the great %amas hear about. aspire to the ,ualities of the
great %amas may possibly meet. gain a little experience of
meditation and feel a glimmer of the benefits that are possible through
such practice. start to recognise certain types of experience as my
non-dual nature sparkling through the fabric of my distortion. find
come to like and appreciate the people who practise, and feel that they
could become my friends. respect them. recognise that they are
trying to be good people who live their lives honestly and kindly.
They also live their practice with energy and enthusiasm and feel
encouraged to emulate their disposition. Iy view opens a little and
start to see the possibility of a different perspective on life $ a subtle
and gentle shift that offers great potential. t is at this point that
decide to take part in the ceremony of refuge and commit myself to
the path of Dharma as my chosen route $ out of the experience of
dissatisfaction, and into the experience of utter and complete
satisfaction.
*t first may believe that to take refuge is to find a method of safety
and a place of protection. may feel cradled by my 9uddhist friends.
may feel protected from the inconvenient realities of my daily life by
my interpretation of Dharma view and practice. There can be a
tendency to adopt a !9uddhist personality! $ could confuse authentic
involvement with floating in a superciliousF pseudo serene manner,
deluding myself into thinking that emotional suppression is the
practice of renunciation or transformation. may numb myself to the
excesses of #oy and pain so that can dwell in a twilight world of
!mindfulness! and !morality! where feel safe. *uthentic refuge
however has no time for such charades. *uthentic /efuge is a
sparkling and spunkyFF environment, in which we recognise that
refuge is the refuge of no refuge and the security of no security. t is
the understanding that there is no person or place which can protect
me from the distortions of my own mind. t is the understanding that
my neurotic patterning will continue to dictate my response for the
foreseeable future.
F supercilious $ behaving in a superior and arrogant manner (%at.
supercilium eyebrow)
FF spunky $ informal, spirited; plucky
am therefore, continually in danger $ but gradually space and choice
become evident. /efuge understands that our personality is the raw
material of the path of transformation. We cannot subdue personality
into a grey approximation of realisation. We cannot by this means,
hope to discover the electricity of va#ra arrogance, va#ra irritation,
va#ra obsession, va#ra paranoia and va#ra incomprehension. /efuge is
the knowledge that our lives will continue to be as they have always
been? a mixture of success and failure, praise and blame, gain and
loss, hope and fear, meeting and parting . . . /efuge recognises that
these highs and lows are both meaningful and meaningless.
The only way we can be liberated from conditioned perception and
conditioned response (and from the confusion which arises from our
attempts to separate emptiness and form) is to aspire to the realisation
of non-duality. 1uch aspiration cannot be achieved by withdrawal into
cosy complacency. 1uch aspiration cannot be achieved by the
cultivation of safety. t can only be reached through courage and
boldness, freedom and responsibility. We have to know $ at the core
of our being $ that realisation is possible. We have to know that
practice $ living with integrity, energy and honour $ can bring us to
the point where the recognition of non-duality is feasible. We have to
know what it means to be a warrior $ and to live as one. This
confidence can only remain alive through practice. /efuge has to be
held and nurtured. We do not hold refuge simply by taking part in a
ceremony, and by receiving a refuge name. f we never engage in
practice, then we cannot say that we really hold refuge. 8ractice has to
be our lifeblood. t is possible never to have taken part in a ceremony
but to hold refuge as a lived reality day-by-day through our attempt to
live the view. %iving the view is refuge. /efuge is recognising that the
frustration and irritation we experience are #ust as much opportunities
for realisation, as #oy and love.
The ob#ects of refuge are 9uddha, Dharma, and 1angha. !9uddha!
refers not simply to 1hakyamuni 9uddha, but to the state of realisation
itself. 9uddha is fully awakened, completely free of conditioned
response and distorted energy, and has realised the non-duality of
method and wisdom, form and emptiness. To seek refuge in 9uddha is
to recognise the goal of the non-dual state, to have confidence in its
reality, and to see the possibility of one3s own awakening to this state.
Dharma is the body of 9uddhist teachings. We establish confidence
that the teachings and practices handed down to us from the 9uddhas,
and given to us by the 9uddhas who are our %amas, will make a
difference to our lives. We find that we start to change. We may
become less aggressive and selfish. We may find it easier to be
tolerant and patient and put the needs of others before our own. We
may find we simply feel calmer $ more at peace with ourselves and
with the circumstances of our lives. Bbserving and appreciating these
changes, we feel confident in continuing to practise.
We start to gain some understanding of what is meant by the security
of no security and the refuge of no refuge. t is the warming, open,
direct sunlight of awakening in which we can bask. t is the full glare
of the excruciatingly clear, bright light in which we are laid bare.
There is no hope of a shadow in which we might surreptitiously
practise concealment or manipulation. n this piercing beam we
recognise that we are fully accountable for our view, meditation, and
action. This is no cosy complacency, but a vivid wide-awakeness.
Taking refuge in Dharma is placing our confidence in practice as a
place of safety. This is redefining !safety! as the challenge of practice.
Bnce we become practitioners it is guaranteed that at some point
practice will become inconvenient. We will wish to take the easy but
less honest option; to make the half-hearted response; to indulge in
believing we have no responsibility for the situation in which we find
ourselves. 9ut as practitioners, these are no longer available options.
*s warriors we have to live with honour, boldness, and integrity. We
cannot allow ourselves to slip into good-enough mediocrity. Bur
security in terms of realisation is absolutely guaranteed if we remain
in the domain of practice. 9ut the path of warriorship may be the
harder and less comfortable choice. t may be the path that leads us
into exposure and danger. The security of practice may be the least
secure path in terms of referential personal safety and referential self-
protection.
*s we attend teachings and practice sessions we get to know other
practitioners. This is 1angha. These people can be a valuable source of
support, encouragement, and inspiration. n times of doubt or trouble,
we may turn to these people and their practice orientation. We turn to
1angha rather than to conventional solace, such as psychotherapy, our
parents, spiritually disinterested ac,uaintances, the pub, or television.
n this way we establish our confidence and refuge in sangha, the
community of practitioners.
To take refuge in 1angha is to give others permission to view you as a
potentially realised being and to take on the responsibility of being
viewed by others as a potentially realised being. 8ure view is both a
practice and a responsibility. t is the practice of actively appreciating
the ,ualities of others and letting go of those aspects that seem less
than realised. t is also to address the individual nature of our
confusion. We may feel inspired to the practice of actively ensuring
that our behaviour and demeanour offers an appropriate presentation
for those who are viewing us purely. We do not behave selfishly,
petulantlyF, or aggressively, because this may disrupt others! practice
of pure vision. The safety of the sangha does not lie in their support of
us. 1angha will not back us up whatever we do. 1angha will help us to
realign ourselves with pure view whenever we waver from it $ merely
through their example. Through taking the 1angha as our refuge we
expose ourselves to the responsibility of unconditional appreciation
and commit to abandoning #ustification.
Fpetulant ad#. $ unreasonably irritable or ill-tempered; peevish. contemptuous
in speech or behavior.
n Tibetan 9uddhism, !%ama! is added as an ob#ect of refuge, and
placed before 9uddha, Dharma, and 1angha. This is because the %ama
is the centre of the mandala of possibility. The %ama introduces the
student to the non-dual state through transmission and empowerment.
The %ama teaches the student the spiritual practices of renunciation,
transformation, and spontaneity. t is through the %ama that we meet
the assembly of practitioners. Jltimately little is possible without the
%ama. We may believe that we can learn enough about the teachings
and practices through reading and study, but something crucial will be
missing and our progress seriously impaired if we never have contact
with a %ama as a tangible and communicative example of living the
view. t is possible to get stuck in a groove in which we appear to be
living the view and practising the path, but in which we are not really
continuing to open the spiral of our neurotic patterning. t is a little
like getting stuck at sleepy shi-nK, but believing we are at stable shi-
nK.
7
*t a certain point a %ama becomes essential. The %ama will keep
guiding us back into an expanding view, and out of the groove of our
patterning. The %ama can trip us up as we return to preconception and
habitual neurosis. The %ama encourages us to continually renew our
connection with view.
7
1hi-nK is the first of the Four 5al#ors of D<ogchen sem-d+. t is a practice of
letting go and letting be. 1leepy shi-nK is a commonly experienced state
where there is no movement in the mind, but there is dullness and lack of
vibrant presence. This state can be mistaken for stable shi-nK, which is a
sparkling awake experience of presence and emptiness. 1ee? he Four
Nal!ors of D"ogchen
1ometimes new practitioners have powerful and profound experiences
when they start to practise. Hlimpses of rigpa can arise spontaneously
through the initial cessation of struggling to maintain the processes of
samsara and relaxing into a more open view. We relax and discover
with a #olt that the nature of mind is non-dual. We relax and discover
in a flash that the nature of view is realised. We relax and discover
with surprise that there is a flicker of harmonious natural congruence
in activity and being. n these moments, refuge is both complete and
unnecessary. t is !complete! because confidence is total, present and
unfabricated. t is !unnecessary! as there is nothing from which to seek
refuge, nowhere to go to seek it, and no-one who is seeking. n such
moments it is important to recognise the %ama. 1uch sparks of insight
arise from empowerment, inspiration, and indication.
The path of "a#rayana relies utterly on the %ama. The %ama transmits
the experience of non-duality to the student through empowerment,
transmission, and through everything they enact. The %ama acts as a
medium for the continual reflection of the student!s potential. The
%ama enables students to see the constricted pattern of their neurosis.
The empty devotion of students enables them to engage with form
with the !safety net! of the %ama!s presence. The %ama is the source of
inspiration and transmission. Through transmission the %ama gives us
the opportunity to experience awareness-beings
L
directly, and to
experience the non-dual state embodied in the communicative symbol
of awareness-beings. The %ama provides the !implicit instruction!,
!mere indication! or !pointing-out instructions!
M
which initiate direct
experience of reality. Without the %ama it is not possible to gain such
experience.
L
Nidam Tib? yi dam; 1kt? ishtade#a) %iterally 2firm mind3, from 2yid3
meaning intellect and 2dam3 from dam$tsig meaning commitment. The yidam
is practised as a symbol of the %ama3s realisation in 1ambhogakaya form.
M
The terms 2implicit instruction3, 2mere indication3 and 2pointing-out
instructions3 belong to different traditions of D<ogchen. 2mplicit instruction3
and 2mere indication3 belong to the *ro gT+r D<ogchen systems and
2pointing-out instructions3 belongs to the %ongchen 5ying-thig and other
5ying-thig lineages.
!%ama! also refers to the inner %ama $ our own beginningless non-dual
mind. 5on-duality sparkles through, whether we are practitioners or
not, but it is only through the wisdom and kindness of the external
%ama that we learn to recognise the sparkling of non-duality and learn
to increase its fre,uency. f we rely too heavily on the internal %ama
without having actualised the internal %ama, we fool ourselves and
follow the 2%ama of our own neuroses3. This then condemns us to a
spiral of increasing self-referentiality and delusion. f we believe we
can find our way by instinct in an unknown town and refuse to ask
directions, we could spend our entire lives walking round in circles,
perhaps occasionally glimpsing our destination, but never managing to
arrive there.
f am about to attend my first #ob interview it might be useful to have
the advice of someone experienced in such situations. They may be
able to advise me on appropriate dress for the occasion, and on the
hidden ruthless ,uestion behind the apparently friendly en,uiry. They
may offer techni,ues to overcome nervousness and methods of
ensuring communicate the information wish to give within the
limitations of the interviewer!s ,uestions. Bur expert could give me
mock interviews and comment on where went wrong and where did
well. 1uch help and advice may make the difference between being
appointed and being short listed. The %ama offers the chance to
discover realisation again and again with increasing fre,uency and
with intention, rather than remaining in the realm of experiencing
hapha<ard flashes of potential.
*s mentioned in the previous chapter, the attitude of a warrior is
essential in our relationship with the %ama. We are not impelled to
relish everything our %ama en#oys in terms of his or her personality
display, but we must be able to dance with their personality display.
We need to view all the time we spend with our %ama $ formal
teachings or informal social events $ as a potent opportunity for
transmission. Through our demeanour of honour and integrity, and
through remaining alert and present, we stay open to all opportunities.
%amas do not appreciate obse,uious behaviour, but will appreciate our
full attention in terms of their function as %amas.
*s 5gak!chang /inpoche says?
@*lthough it is common courtesy not to speak over anyone, the
%ama does not re,uire courtesy for the sake of courtesy. The %ama
is not offended by the vagaries of differing manners. The %ama
simply needs to be able to communicative effectively.@
%amas appreciate awareness of their practical needs when teaching in
terms of the many demands on their time. Bnce in va#ra relationship
the va#ra sangha should avoid becoming a Dharma Hestapo $
believing they alone have the ear of the %amas, understand their
wishes, and have the right to command the rest of the sangha. f we
allow arrogance to develop we are unlikely to notice the subtle
guidance and suggestions of our %amas, and are likely to assume we
already know what they mean $ and hence to make egregious errors.
1econd-guessing one!s %ama is never a good idea. t wastes the
potential of the moment. f have the capacity to follow the
instructions of my %ama, and to allow my rationale to be overridden,
it offers a great opportunity for spiritual growth. However remain
responsible for my initial decision to function within the parameters of
va#ra commitment. cannot blame the %ama for my decision.
>handro D+chen comments that,
@Bften the %ama has simply been fantastically generous in
allowing va#ra commitment in cases where the student!s only real
,uality has been reckless enthusiasm that would not be gainsaidF.
The %ama will always attempt to encourage serious consideration
of the step $ but in the final throw will often simply defer to the
beginningless non-dual nature of the student in terms of his or her
belief in the seriousness of their aspiration.C
F to gainsay $ tr.v. to declare false; deny. to oppose, especially by
contradiction.
t is this aspect of personal responsibility which suggests danger and
challenge in the relationship with the %ama. referred to the %ama as
a dangerous friend. %amas are friends inasmuch as their motivation in
all their interaction with me is that achieve the realisation of non-
duality. They are dangerous because they offer a one-way ticket which
involves total saturation. They are dangerous to samsara. Bnce have
moved beyond the general commitment of refuge into the individual
commitment of binding myself to a "a#ra Iaster, there can be no
turning back without grave self-inflicted personal conse,uences. f
abandon the %ama, throw myself back into my own dualistic view
with even greater force and distortion than before. The spiral of self-
referentiality becomes increasingly tight and constricting. The
movement into openness and growth ceases. The %ama is dangerous
inasmuch as may decide that the %ama wants to push me beyond
what think is possible $ that is to say? outside the scope of my
relative view. 9ut as devotion grows may find that the relative
considerations of ordinary life become increasingly irrelevant. The
%ama is the enemy of the relative condition. The %ama sees my
neurotic patterning, and delights in the hints of realised reality it
displays. The %ama plays with my neuroses until they become
transparent or explode. t can be both challenging and threatening.
This may be an uncomfortable experience $ but only to my residual
admiration of my personal samsara.
n the beginning, we merely have confidence that the %ama!s view is
more subtle or profound than our own. We may merely see the %ama
as less entrenched in distortion and confusion than we happen to be.
Through the experience of practice, we may procede to develop
confidence that the %ama is greatly realised. The %ama then represents
a place of safety. We see that the %ama recognises the pitfalls and pain
of distorted view and that the %ama is able to offer a path to transform
our neuroses into non-dual view. 21afety3, as the word is used here,
can only be understood as !safety! in terms of gaining realisation. The
%ama will not indulge our attachment to distorted view. The %ama
will not soothe us with comforting words and palliatives. The %ama
will bring us face to face with our neuroses $ and possibility in a
highly creative manner. This is not safety in the sense of comfort and
conventional security; it is safety in the sense of reality? the security of
no security. The only security we can actualise is in knowing that
there is no security in a material sense. Bnce we realise this, we
immediately become secure. We no longer feel the need to hold on to
anything or define our experience referentially. The %ama continually
reminds us of our lack of inherent solidity, permanence, separateness,
continuity, and definition. The %ama transmits the lived meaning of
this teaching in his or her being.
9efore entering into va#ra relationship $ a binding commitment with a
%ama $ need to be sure am ready. need to have moved beyond
viewing spiritual practice as a repair kit for my pain. need to be
ready for something more than merely wanting life circumstances to
improve. Having entered the commitment of refuge, then need to
settle with a particular %ama, lineage, and group of fellow
practitioners for an extended period of time before beginning to
experiment with allowing a %ama to challenge me or suggest
individual direction in my life. 1uch a period of time also offers the
opportunity to observe that the %ama is also a practitioner. They speak
with devotion of their own %amas and are fully connected to lineage
and the methods of their lineage. We notice their demeanour and
activity is rooted in lineage and practice. We notice that their
behaviour is congruous with Dharma. The teachings over which they
preside are never amended to suit their own convenience. Whatever
the %ama3s presence display, personality display, and life
circumstances display $ whether these be ordinary and simple or
extraordinary and exotic $ they are experienced as congruent with
their lineage of teachings and practice.
We spend this extended period of time before entering va#ra
commitment in discovering how commitment feels $ how it works
out. We enter into challenge. open myself to the %ama threatening
my patterning. appreciate the friendly kindness of the %ama and cry
at the excruciating beauty of the %ama!s benevolence. Devotion begins
to grow in my heart. Devotion is the ground from which va#ra
relationship functions. Bnly when all aspects of the va#ra relationship
have been entertained; only when we have developed confidence and
devotion; should the commitment of va#ra relationship be considered.
Devotion cannot be bluffed. t is difficult to express its ,ualities in
words. t is like being in love, in the conventional sense $ yet more
expansive and without the aspect of lust. t is similar to the enriching
unconditional love we offer a child $ yet the %ama is more than a
parent. t is both empowering and free. t is letting go of the
importance we place on the stresses of life, and embracing total
responsibility. t is release from the bondage of neurosis into
identification with honour. Devotion has the deliciously ambiguous,
inexpressible ,uality of "a#rayana itself. t is emptiness and form. t is
allowing oneself to dissolve into emptiness in relation to the %ama and
arising in the form of the %ama3s pure view. t is freedom from the
bondage of referentiality.
Those without re,uisite experience may feel that it is cra<y to place
such confidence in another being that let go of my rationale. Net we
trust others in many ways every day of our lives. trust the other
drivers to stop at the red light as move off on the green. rely on the
restaurant to produce nutritious and en#oyable food that will not
poison me. expect the buildings in which live and work to function
and be structurally safe through the skilled work of engineers,
architects, and builders. *s 5gak!chang /inpoche says in the light of
his constant travels? @ trust airline pilots to take me $ and hundreds of
tonnes of aircraft $ tens of thousands of feet into the air, and then to
bring me down again in %ondon, 5ew Nork, 1an Francisco, or
>athmandu. t!s insane $ but allow it to happen all the time.C
t is reasonable to have confidence in a %ama who inspires me with
their wisdom and kindness, and whom have known for many years.
t is reasonable to feel they are able to guide me through the subtle
challenges of "a#rayana. Bnce established as a lived reality, va#ra
relationship has the potential to move me with great speed and
intensity into alignment with realisation. The #olts, flashes, and
flickers of realisation can increase in fre,uency and potency and begin
to integrate with my natural being, as ride the sweeps and bends,
highs and lows of the rollercoaster of irrational reason.
Ouestioner? s it important to meet other people who are practising
Dharma, and see how different sanghas workP
5gakma 5or!d<in? t may not be essential, but think it is useful. The
%ama3s personality and their style of teaching will appeal to some and
not to others. f you are fortunate enough to find a sangha where you
feel at home right away, it still might be useful to see how other
groups function before committing yourself to one. However, it must
be stressed that it is important $ eventually $ to settle down and
commit to one group, and to form a relationship with one %ama or
%ama-couple . . . or else what is achievable is severely limited.
Water from a small stream can be channelled into a spout of such
force that it can cut through rock. f you are always dodging from
group to group, teacher to teacher, you will not be able to focus your
practice. Aventually you have to make commitment and focus your
practice in one lineage in order to progress.
O? s taking refuge something that is a continual processP
55? Nes indeed. n the context of our lives as practitioners !refuge! is
a verb $ not a noun.
O? s refuge the re#ection of a psychological state of escapismP
55? Nes, you could describe refuge in that way. /efuge is facing the
reality of our self-created dualism.
O? 1ometimes experience a kind of depression about my
powerlessness to help others even though am a practitioner.
55? When feeling intense sorrow at images of people suffering, know
that your practice will help. Dharma has the intelligence of knowing
that sorrow alone will not help such people, but our daily practice and
commitment to work towards realisation will ultimately be of benefit
to all sentient beings. *s warriors, we do not flinch from the horrors
of life circumstances. We face them, experience the horror and
transform the feeling of being overwhelmed into ubi,uitous
intelligence. The warrior does not retract into indifference, or kid
themselves that putting 64p in a charity box has fulfilled their
responsibility. The warrior practices wholeheartedly and energetically
to be of benefit to others.
O? When you talk of va#ra pride, va#ra aggression, va#ra obsession,
va#ra paranoia and va#ra depression, these emotional states are no
longer reference pointsP
55? That!s right. The energy that we call emotion $ as it filters
through dualistic distortion $ is simply non-dual energy. This is the
energy of the emotions in their natural condition $ free of dualistic
distortion.
O? Nou described awakening as bright sunlight where we cannot hide.
Does it highlight your whole beingP
55? Nes, there is nowhere to hide if you take refuge in 9uddha. t!s
not concerned with indulging in ideas such as !everything about me is
dreadful!. We are all miserably, wickedly, horribly distorted all the
time by the way in which we manufacture duality $ but we are also
beginninglessly non-dualQ Bur dualistic ugliness is laid bare by the
light of 9uddha, Dharma, and 1angha, but so is our sparkling non-dual
beauty. We have to learn to be comfortable with this nakedness and
exposure and trust that misery is only a distortion of #oy. Then we are
free to practise and begin the process of transformation.
O? When we take refuge, are we taking refuge !from! samsara as well
as !in! 9uddha, Dharma, and 1anghaP
55? We are saying samsara and nirvana are not separate. The
potential of nirvana is implicit in samsara. We take refuge in the
exposure of samsara as nirvana, and all that that implies in terms of
view and conduct. f we regard our life circumstances as perfect
exactly as they are, then we can no longer blame our anger on the
situation, or #ustify our lack of tolerance.
O? s this where there starts to be no difference between fruit and
pathP
55? Nes.
O? t sounds absolute $ mean there is no way to s,uirm out of it? 3m
not feeling very well today, or thought it was someone else!s #ob . . .
55? t is. This is living as a warrior.
O? What do you mean by total saturationP
55? Nou cannot enter "a#ra commitment and believe that there are
areas of your life that are not open for scrutiny. Nou cannot enter
"a#ra commitment if there are aspects of your %ama that you do not
en#oy, even though their taste may be different from your own. Nou
cannot take this step thinking you can #ust ignore your worries and
doubts in the hope that they will go away in time. Nou have to saturate
yourself in the experience of your %ama3s presence display,
personality display and life circumstances display. Nou have to
saturate yourself in knowing the human being as a %ama and the %ama
as a human being. Nou must practice what is taught, follow advice and
experiment with allowing the %ama to interfere with your life and
your view before entering "a#ra commitment.
O? s it easy for people to misinterpret !giving up your rationale!. t
doesn3t mean giving up common sense and responsibility. . .
55? Hiving up commonsense and responsibility. . . (smiles) That of
course presumes that we do actually have common sense and are
actually able to take responsibility. What if this !common sense! is
merely common samsaraP 1amsara is $ after all $ the common sense
of beings. 1o maybe we need to trade-in common sense for the un-
common sense of the %amaP *nd responsibility $ what responsibility
can we actually take in an unknown situationP We can take
responsibility for listening to the teacher and believing that they can
teach us, but if we are in a learning situation which is outside our
experience, then we have to give responsibility to the teacher. have
to believe that my Welsh language teacher is really teaching me to
speak Welsh $ and not some wild and peculiar language full of strange
spellings and confusing mutations that they have created to torture
meQ We naturally have to trust the teacher and surrender to that if we
are to learn. f we look at this in ordinary situations, it is not really so
alien. n fact it becomes obvious $ especially with regard to learning
ha<ardous physical skills. *nyone who has ever learnt to scuba dive,
sky dive, abseil, ski, or ride a horse will have had to trust a teacher
well outside the limitations of their own #udgment. We may well put
our lives in the hands of such a teacher.
Net when we start to talk about the teacher with regard to our spiritual
learning, people can tend to become unduly nervous. n the West there
are many people who call themselves Dharma practitioners who wish
to neuter the "a#ra Iaster with regulations and rules. They believe
%amas should only act as spiritual friends
:
$ teachers who offer
spiritual teachings, but who do not interact with the student in the
intimate and individual manner of the Dor#e %op'n. The decision to
enter "a#ra commitment is taken after a long period of working with
the %ama in a general way. The decision is taken after a sufficient
period of time of practice has passed for the student to realise the
limitations of their own rationale, so that a desire arises to effect
transformation through the reflective relationship with the %ama.
There is no coercion to enter "a#ra .ommitment; in fact, in the *ro
gT+r tradition $ as it is in the West $ there is a tendency to defer this
commitment for at least five years. 1tudents have to show a deep and
real understanding of what it means, and have to complete various
practices and retreats before it is even considered. 5gak!chang
/inpoche once explained that we are all in va#ra commitment to
ourselves anyway $ to our neuroses $ so all we are doing in taking
va#ra commitment is owning up to that fact and shifting the direction.
f found myself at the controls of a plummeting aircraft and could
hand the controls over to a trained pilot $ would be happy to do soQ
would naturally $ and ,uickly $ have to come to the realisation that
was in grave danger and incapable of flying the aircraft.
:
HK wa3i sh+-nyKn (d%e ba&i b'hes gNyen ( )alyanamitra) The rRle of the
teacher in 1utrayana.
O? 1o it is a long, drawn out process leading up to "a#ra commitmentP
55? t is. Technically, "a#rayana cannot function until one is in "a#ra
commitment. Bnce in "a#ra commitment, everything changes. t could
be like playing a musical instrument $ you start to be able to play the
tune rather than playing the notes. t is like the difference between a
learner driver and an experienced driver, where changing gear and
road awareness have become fluid and free. 9ut . . . mind you . . .
when you discover "a#ra commitment, you!re not in the car on your
own anymore $ and you!re not the only one who has control of the
pedals. The %ama might decide to stamp on the acceleratorQ
5gakma 1hardr'l Du-nyam Wangmo told me about an occasion when
she was in a car with 5gak!chang /inpoche. He was driving to .ardiff
from 9angor in 5orth Wales. They were on a long stretch of open
road when /inpoche suddenly cried out in horror? @Bh my HodQ The
steering wheelQ@ *t that moment he wobbled the steering wheel up
and down as if it had become disengaged from the steering
mechanism. This illusion was easily achieved due to /inpoche!s car
having an ad#ustable steering column. /inpoche grinned at her after a
moment or two, and explained it was merely his little #oke. 5gakma
1hardr'l said she learnt a lot from that experience. 1he thought she
would have been frightened of death, but she said that she was #ust too
shocked to think at all.
/inpoche has never done anything ,uite like that with me, so it is not
as if you could anticipate things like that happening. /inpoche plays
with my neurosis in other ways. Bnce we were travelling together to
meet a man who had made some drum shells for us. *s we
approached the place where we were meeting this man, to follow him
in his vehicle back to his cottage, /inpoche told me that there was
something should be aware of. The drum-maker was !vertically
challenged! $ he was only about five feet tall. He told me that this man
was rather self conscious about his height and that should not give
any indication that had noticed he was unusually short. Bur drum-
maker did not get out of his van when we met him and we drove
behind him to his cottage. remember wondering how he reached the
foot pedals of the van and whether he had a specially built up seat, as
his head seemed to be at a normal sort of height as he sat in the
driver!s seat. imagined blocks on the pedals and piles of cushions.
When we arrived at the cottage and he finally climbed out of his van,
experienced an extraordinary perceptual confusion. Iy expectation
produced a short man climbing out of his van, who suddenly unfolded
into an extraordinarily tall man. n fact our drum-maker was unusually
tallQ Thus /inpoche is different with different people. have not
known him to be wrathful. 5gak!chang /inpoche!s root guru (sa*a+i
Lama) was extremely wrathful, but he does not seem to have inherited
that.
O? s va#ra commitment a decision that you make or does it become
obvious, a natural progressionP
55? t!s a natural progression that becomes a decision $ but you have
to make the decision $ you can!t #ust fall into it. Nou may make the
decision internally and work with it for a while before approaching the
decision formally, but it must be taken as a formal commitment. That
is why in the *ro gT+r Tradition in the West we have a long pre-
ordained process so people can experience "a#ra commitment without
actually having taken the vows. t could be seen as a decision you
make after having already made the decision $ you allow yourself to
be empty in relation to the %ama.