Communicating

With Tact
and Finesse
Participant Notebook
Copyright 2009, Rockhurst University Continuing Education Center, Inc.
PRESENTED BY
ROCKHURST WEB
CONFERENCE SERIES,
A DIVISION OF ROCKHURST
UNIVERSITY CONTINUING
EDUCATION CENTER, INC.
2
WTCTF0810
Lack of diplomacy and tact equals conflict. With conflict there are often:
Confrontations
Misunderstandings
Escalation of situations
Loss of customers
Why You Need Diplomacy and Tact
in Todays Demanding Workplace
3
WTCTF0810
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
1. Face-to-face communication
Seven percent of the message is conveyed through word choices.
Thirty-eight percent of the message is conveyed through voice tone.
Fifty-five percent of the message is conveyed through body language.
2. When body language and word choices are not in sync, people will rely on
body language.
3. Negative body language
Folding your arms across your chest
Placing your hands on your hips
Staring
Lack of eye contact
4. Positive body language
Eye contact
Open body posture or positioning your hands at your sides
Sitting up straight
5. Telephone
Your body language, although not seen, is heard loud and clear through
your voice tone.
Eighty-six percent of the message we send over the telephone comes through
in our voice tone.
Fourteen percent of the message sent is in our word choices.
Ask yourself:
Do I sound warm, sincere, genuine, and interested when Im on the telephone?
Or
Do I sound flat, dull, bored, and disinterested?
How you say it truly matters!
Getting Your Body Language in Sync
With Your Message
4
WTCTF0810
The sender intends the message one way, and sometimes the recipient receives
it differently.
A persons interpretation of the message is his or her reality and thats what matters.
E-mail
E-mail is almost 100 percent word choice.
When you use bold or underline, or when you write in all caps, you add e-mail tone
to your message.
If the people you are writing to know you, they may be able to add some interpretation
based on how they think you might say the sentence. If they dont know you, they have
to interpret solely based on the word choices.
How to Overcome Misinterpretation of the Message
Whats the best way to get this message across?
In person you have words, body language, and voice tone.
On the telephone you have words and voice tone.
E-mail is effective when youd like to have something documented or put in writing for
future reference. When communicating by e-mail, choose the most specific word to
convey the meaning.
People receive the same message differently because they have lived and worked in different
places and have had different experiences.
Watch for feedback observe body language and facial expressions.
On the telephone, listen closely for tone. Volume is another indicator of emotion.
To overcome miscommunication when you feel that your receiver is interpreting the message
differently than you intended, make such comments as Please dont misunderstand. What I
really meant to say was _____________.
Communicating Clearly to Avoid
Misunderstandings and Confusion
5
WTCTF0810
10 Listening Tips
1. Dont interrupt; most people just need to vent.
2. Remember the 90/10 rule be silent 90 percent of the time and talk 10 percent
of the time.
3. Dont take their attack personally.
4. Listen to different personality types differently.
5. Paraphrase your understanding of what they are saying.
6. Ask questions to clarify as needed.
7. Give them your full attention avoid doing something else at the time they are talking.
8. Avoid interruptions such as answering the telephone or greeting someone else.
9. Use positive eye contact.
10. Show your understanding with such words as I see or I understand.
Developing Your Listening Skills
6
WTCTF0810
WIIFM Whats In It For Me?
Use benefit language; let them know how they will benefit by helping.
Use body language and voice tone appropriately.
Be aware of how your pace and volume factor into the equation.
Talking too quickly can show loss of control or loss of emotions.
Speaking too loudly causes some people to back away or feel intimidated
or nervous.
Talking too quietly can cause others to perceive you as not confident and
not assertive.
Listen and watch for feedback about your communication and
adjust accordingly.
Make sure you keep an appropriate distance from others.
Keep composure and confidence in tough situations.
How to Manage Emotions That Inherently Come With Conflict
Crying
Look up with your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
Remove yourself from the situation.
Think about your goal for the conversation.
Anger
Use the stop-look-listen technique.
Avoid the fight or flight syndrome.
Ask questions.
Dont get caught up in the moment put it in perspective.
How to Motivate, Influence, and Gain Instant
Respect Throughout the Company
7
WTCTF0810
Step 1: The big picture
Transitional phrase: ______________________________________________________________
Step 2: The incident
Transitional phrase: ______________________________________________________________
Step 3: Suggested alternate
Transitional phrase: ______________________________________________________________
Step 4: Your benefits
Transitional phrase: ______________________________________________________________
Step 5: Commitment
Transitional phrase: ______________________________________________________________
How to Effectively Communicate With Difficult Personalities
Pay attention to and read the other persons style.
Vary your style of communication to meet the needs of the other person.
Find common ground.
Use positive assertiveness.
Use WIIFM communication.
Five-Step Process to Confront Tactfully,
Professionally, and Successfully
8
WTCTF0810
Open
Stagehand Actor
Indirect Direct
Technician Director
Closed
Ways to Tactfully Communicate Criticism
or Bad News, or in Conflict Situations
Feedback Use the improve and praise model vs. the good but bad model.
Bad news Phrase it as an I statement. Use you when you have a good
news statement.
Conflict Try to have your conflict partner go first. If you disagree with the person after
listening to him or her, say, I see it differently. Then present your position.
Behavior Styles and How to Communicate
Effectively With Each
9
WTCTF0810
Behavior Styles and How to Communicate
Effectively With Each, continued
Start Stop Continue Change
10
WTCTF0810
Recommended Resources
To order resources, call Customer Service at 1-800-258-7246
or visit our Web site at www.NationalSeminarsTraining.com.
Audio CDs
The Art of Being Assertive
Building Relationships
Communicate With Confidence, Credibility, and Influence
How to Communicate With Power, Diplomacy, and Tact
How to Handle Conflict and Confrontation
How to Handle Difficult People
How to Reach Your Personal Best
Mastering the 7 Habits
The Power of Persuasion
Winning Without Intimidation
Manuals and Handbooks
The Assertive Advantage
Dealing With Conflict and Anger
How to Work With People
Learn to Listen
Lifescripts
Negaholics No More!