Notes From Postgrad Writing Workshop - Master

1
Academic Writing
Intensive
Martin McMorrow
ESOL Learning Advisor
With contributions from
other SLC staff, particularly
Kate Pritchard, Ken Cage
and Vanessa Van der Ham
Part 1: Academic English vocabulary and style
Key features of academic style and
vocabulary
1 a
Academic vocabulary test & feedback 1 b
Academic vocabulary strategies
1 c
You need to be really into learning
a language if you stand any chance
of getting anywhere with it
Motivation is a key element in
successful language learning
for adults
Opinion
hypothesis
Key features of academic style and vocabulary 1 a
More academic language allows you to develop your ACADEMIC
voice, so that its as clear as your ordinary VOICE but instead of
expressing opinions, youre presenting arguments
20 words: 15 % of Latin origin
11 words: 45 % of Latin origin
Academic English Everyday English
And no evidence is given
And this hypothesis is supported by
reference to relevant research
Teachers play a big part
in motivation because, if
you ask me, even if youre
motivated to begin with, if
the teachers boring, youll
soon lose your motivation.
Opinion is clear. Opinion is equally clear
But its expressed impersonally
as a hypothesis
Teachers can influence the
motivation of their learners. A
study by Nikolov (2001) showed
how initially positive attitudes to
language learning were badly
affected by a dislike of the
teaching methodology (as cited
in Dornyei, 2005, p. 75).
But it sounds personal.
Define ageism giving an example to show what you mean?
Ageism means when someone is treated badly just because
theyre young or old. What matters most isnt whether or not
someones treated differently but whether its got anything to do with
whats going on at the time. For instance, someone might not get a
job or get promoted because people think theyre too young or too
old. Youd probably think that a bar that wouldnt give a job to a 50
year old to serve drinks was being a bit ageist and if that person
was good enough in every way except for the fact that they were
getting on a bit, then you could call them ageist and they wouldnt
really have a leg to stand on. But you could hardly say a bar was
being ageist if they didnt take on a 16 year-old for the job because
theyre not allowed to do so.
Sample paragraph in everyday English style
Ageism may be defined as unfair discrimination towards
someone on account of their age (Smith & Davidov, 2003, p. 23).
The crucial aspect is not discrimination in itself, but its unfairness.
In other words, whether or not age is a relevant consideration in
the circumstances. Lets consider the case of someone prevented
from obtaining employment or promotion because they are
considered too young or too old. A bar which refused to employ a
50 year old to serve drinks might be considered ageist, if that
person fulfilled the employment specifications in every other
respect. However, no one could claim a bar was being ageist
because they didnt employ a 16 year-old, since they are legally
prohibited from doing so.
The same paragraph in academic English style
2
Everyday English normally
repeats the same basic vocabulary
is based on verb phrases
uses acti ve voice most of the time(does)
connects sentences with and, but and because
uses colloquial expressions
uses shorter (Anglo-Saxon) words and phrases
Academic English normally
uses a larger vocabulary with less repetition
is based around longer noun phrases
often uses passive (is done) as well as active (does)
connects clauses and sentences with a wider range of linking words
is less personal (not believe me but be convinced by my
argument)
uses longer (Latin) words with more prefixes and suffixes
unfair discrimination
the crucial aspect
no one could claim
may be defined as
they are considered
However
on account of
employ
is a relevant consideration
in the circumstances
may be prevented from
obtaining employment
means
someone is treated badly
because of
What matters most
its got anything to do with
whats going on
might not get a job
people think they are
you could hardly say
But
take on
everyday English academic English
Task 1: Matching exercise
academic English
is less personal
uses a larger vocabulary
with less repetition
is based around longer
noun phrases
uses passive (is done) as
well as active (does)
connects clauses and
sentences with a wider
range of linking words
unfair discrimination
relevant consideration in the
circumstances
may be defined as
they are considered
However
on account of
fulfilled the employment specifications
legally prohibited
No one could claim
Lets consider
written Latin spoken Latin
2000
1500
1000
500
Roman
Empire
French
everyday
life
society
culture
English
Written
Latin
church
science
Anglo-Saxon
A brief history of the English language
Todays English is a hybrid language:
most common words and grammar is
Anglo-Saxon; a lot of common
vocabulary is from French; nearly all
academic and formal language is
from French or Latin
The more academic the writing is, the
higher proportion of words of French
and Latin origin
Relevance of this history for English language today
Ageism means when someone is treated badly just because
theyre young or old. What matters most isnt whether or not
someones treated differently but whether its got anything to do with
whats going on at the time. For instance, someone might not get a
job or get promoted because people think theyre too young or too
old. Youd probably think that a bar that wouldnt give a job to a 50
year old to serve drinks was being a bit ageist and if that person
was good enough in every way except for the fact that they were
getting on a bit, then you could call them ageist and they wouldnt
really have a leg to stand on. But you could hardly say a bar was
being ageist if they didnt take on a 16 year-old for the job because
theyre not allowed to do so.
Everyday English style words from Latin / French in red
3
Ageism may be defined as unfair discrimination towards
someone on account of their age (Smith & Davidov, 2003, p. 23).
The crucial aspect is not discrimination in itself, but whether or not
age is a relevant consideration in the circumstances. Lets
consider the case of someone prevented from obtaining
employment or promotion because they are considered too young
or too old. A bar which refused to employ a 50 year old to serve
drinks might be considered ageist, if that person fulfilled the
employment specifications in every other respect. However, no
one could claim a bar was being ageist because they didnt
employ a 16 year-old, since they are legally prohibited from doing
so.
Academic English style words from Latin / French in red
The next slide shows an extract from a prescribed text
(Quester, P., McGuiggan, R., Perreault, W., & McCarthy, S. (2004).
Marketing: Creating and delivering value. Sydney, Australia: McGraw
Hill.
The style is not technical or especially formal although some of
the words would be very formal in spoken English
In this exercise, the original words and expressions have been
taken out and replaced with colloquial, spoken English phrases
Replace them and see what a difference it makes to the academic
style of the whole text.
Task 2: Making a text more academic in style
assist (x 2) serve competitive edge retain
stagnate base initially establish
seek benefits meet someones needs
A marketing manager should 1) look for new ways to
2) deal with existing customers and strengthen the
relationship with them. Too often companies allow their
strategies to 3) get tired after they have 4) got a customer
base and a set of marketing mix decisions. For example,
special business services related to the determining needs
of front-line executives might 5) first of all 6) give a hotel a
hand in winning this business. But the hotel will lose its
7) advantage if other hotels begin to offer the same
8) nice things. Then, the determining dimensions change.
To avoid this problem, and 9) keep hold of the 10) bunch of
customers it has built, the hotel needs to find new and
better ways to 11) give the executives what they want. For
example, the hotel could provide a voice mail system to
12) help traveling executives during their stay.
McGuiggan, Perreault, & McCarthy,2004
A marketing manager should seek new ways to serve
existing customers and strengthen the relationship with
them. Too often companies allow their strategies to
stagnate after they have established a customer base
and a set of marketing mix decisions. For example,
special business services related to the determining
needs of front-line executives might initially assist a hotel
in winning this business. But the hotel will lose its
competiti ve edge if other hotels begin to offer the same
benefits. Then, the determining dimensions change. To
avoid this problem, and retain the base of customers it
has built, the hotel needs to find new and better ways to
meet the executi ves needs. For example, the hotel
could provide a voice mail system to assist traveling
executives during their stay.
Quester, McGuiggan, Perreault, & McCarthy,2004
Original text (in academic English style)
This test will give you an idea of how strong your foundation of
academic English vocabulary is at the moment
If there are any gaps, it will allow you to identify them. We will
then discuss resources which will help you fill them
You can keep the test paper and make notes, ask questions
during our feedback session
After 20 minutes, I will collect in the answer sheets. These will be
anonymous. The purpose of collecting them is to develop the
test further
Academic English test and feedback 1 b
Task 3: Academic English test
1) Its difficult to define the con________ of beauty.
2) The internet gives you acc ________ to information and personal
contacts from around the world.
3) Evolution explains how simple animals developed into more
com ________ ones over a long period of time.
4) Come to the meeting if you feel you have anything to con ________ to
the discussion.
5) We are not really in competition with them, but there are a few
ove ________ between our products.
6) She asked me to check the first dra ________ of her presentation.
7) The final cost of the project should not exc ________ $ 10 000.
8) Its impossible to eli ________ crime completely, but this government
aims to reduce it substantially.
9) Financial experts have det ________ some signs that the economy
may be improving.
10) No agreement has been reached but negotiations are still
ong ________.
4
11) One reason that many goods are manufactured in China is the lower
lab ________ costs there.
12) We have to in ________ from his silence on the matter that he has
nothing he wishes to say.
13) A recent sur ________ found that more than 60 % of workers were
dissatisfied with their bosses.
14) We had to make several calls to the tec ________ support line
before anyone came to repair out computer.
15) We all ass ________ in the meeting room to meet the new
management team.
16) The company publishes its ann ________ accounts every
September.
17) At the moment we dont ant ________ any problems with the new
system.
18) The internet has become an important med ________ of
communication for companies.
19) Her work has been a cru ________ part of the companys success.
20) Unemployment will be one of the most important iss ________ in the
next election.
21) The main foc ________ of our attention is the need to reform our
organisation.
22) He decided to buy separate com ________ for his computer and put
them together at home because it was cheaper than buying a
complete one from a shop.
23) Please check with the legal department pri ________ to signing any
contracts.
24) The company has had to am ________ its employment contracts as a
result of the new law.
25) Among his reasons for resigning he cit ________ the pressure of
working to a limited budget.
26) We have to ada ________ our products to the differing needs of our
customers.
27) Vegetable sales flu ________ according to the season.
28) Between one and two children per family is the nor ________ in many
countries.
29) The city needs to improve its basic inf ________ if it wishes to attract
international companies.
30) They have sent the sample to the laboratory to be ana ________ so
that they can be sure what exactly it is.
31) His point was highly rel ________ to the discussion, but, there was no real
time for discussion.
32) Some airlines have decided to cancel less popular routes in order to max
________ profits.
33) Salaries may not seem large in dollars, but when con ________ into local
currency, they are highly competitive.
34) Our British customers are most interested in low cost, whe ________ in the
United States, customers are happy to pay more for higher quality.
35) I knew a lot about the subject; nev ________, her talk was interesting
enough.
36) Con ________ to all our expectations, the introduction of new working
practices went smoothly.
37) I found the instruction ambi ________ so I didnt know what to do. Could you
please make it clearer?
38) Production has been temporarily sus ________ because of technical
problems.
39) In the financial sec ________, both banks and insurance companies have had
a difficult year.
40) We have to start the meeting on time because we have several important
ite ________ on the agenda.
41) The road was blocked so we had to use an alt ________ route.
42) The true reason for the companys problems only eme ________
much later.
43) The hall only has a cap ________ of 50 people so we wont be able
to invite everybody.
44) Our involvement in community education projects has enh ________
the reputation of the company.
45) We all need to be realistic. We only have a fin ________ amount of
time to complete the task.
46) We decided to ter ________ the contract because we were
dissatisfied with their service.
47) The rat ________ of men to women in management is still three to
one.
48) We are transferring the dat ________ from magnetic tape to hard
disk.
49) Its important that we remain neu ________ on the question until we
have enough information to make an informed decision.
50) The most positive asp ________ of living abroad is the chance to
experience a new culture.
1) Its difficult to define the concept of beauty.
2) The internet gives you access to information and personal contacts
from around the world.
3) Evolution explains how simple animals developed into more complex
ones over a long period of time.
4) Come to the meeting if you feel you have anything to contribute to the
discussion.
5) We are not really in competition with them, but there are a few
overlaps between our products.
6) She asked me to check the first draft of her presentation.
7) The final cost of the project should not exceed $ 10 000.
8) Its impossible to eliminate crime completely, but this government
aims to reduce it substantially.
9) Financial experts have detected some signs that the economy may be
improving.
10) No agreement has been reached but negotiations are still ongoing.
Academic English test: Answers
11) One reason that many goods are manufactured in China is the lower
labour costs there.
12) We have to infer from his silence on the matter that he has nothing
he wishes to say.
13) A recent survey found that more than 60 % of workers were
dissatisfied with their bosses.
14) We had to make several calls to the technical support line before
anyone came to repair out computer.
15) We all assembled in the meeting room to meet the new
management team.
16) The company publishes its annual accounts every September.
17) At the moment we dont anticipate any problems with the new
system.
18) The internet has become an important medium of communication for
companies.
19) Her work has been a crucial part of the companys success.
20) Unemployment will be one of the most important issues in the next
election.
5
21) The main focus of our attention is the need to reform our
organisation.
22) He decided to buy separate components for his computer and put
them together at home because it was cheaper than buying a
complete one from a shop.
23) Please check with the legal department prior to signing any contracts.
24) The company has had to amend its employment contracts as a result
of the new law.
25) Among his reasons for resigning he cited the pressure of working to a
limited budget.
26) We have to adapt our products to the differing needs of our
customers.
27) Vegetable sales fluctuate according to the season.
28) Between one and two children per family is the norm in many
countries.
29) The city needs to improve its basic infrastructure if it wishes to
attract international companies.
30) They have sent the sample to the laboratory to be analysed so that
they can be sure what exactly it is.
31) His point was highly relevant to the discussion, but, there was no
real time for discussion.
32) Some airlines have decided to cancel less popular routes in order to
maximise profits.
33) Salaries may not seem large in dollars, but when converted into
local currency, they are highly competitive.
34) Our British customers are most interested in low cost, whereas in the
United States, customers are happy to pay more for higher quality.
35) I knew a lot about the subject; nevertheless, her talk was interesting
enough.
36) Contrary to all our expectations, the introduction of new working
practices went smoothly.
37) I found the instruction ambiguous so I didnt know what to do. Could
you please make it clearer?
38) Production has been temporarily suspended because of technical
problems.
39) In the financial sector, both banks and insurance companies have
had a difficult year.
40) We have to start the meeting on time because we have several
important items on the agenda.
41) The road was blocked so we had to use an alternative route.
42) The true reason for the companys problems only emerged
much later.
43) The hall only has a capacity of 50 people so we wont be able to
invite everybody.
44) Our involvement in community education projects has enhanced
the reputation of the company.
45) We all need to be realistic. We only have a finite amount of time
to complete the task.
46) We decided to terminate the contract because we were
dissatisfied with their service.
47) The ratio of men to women in management is still three to one.
48) We are transferring the data from magnetic tape to hard disk.
49) Its important that we remain neutral on the question until we
have enough information to make an informed decision.
50) The most positive aspect of living abroad is the chance to
experience a new culture.
Massey papers:
192.101 English for Academic Purposes
192.102 Academic Wri ting
Both papers include a focus on basic academic English vocabulary
Selected online resources:
Massey Universi ty: Academic Word List: http://language.massey.ac.nz/staff/awl/index.shtml
Massey Universi ty: Academic English Generator: http://www.academicenglishgenerator.com
Hong Kong University of Science and Technology: http://uvt.ust.hk/about.html
Hong Kong Polytechnic University: http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/cill/eap/default.htm
University of Hertfordshire: http://www.uefap.com/vocab/vocfram.htm
University of Manchester: http://www.phrasebank.manchester.ac.uk
Resources for building up basic Academic English vocabulary
Academic Vocabulary Strategies 1 c
Suggestions for developing your academic vocabulary
Ensure you have a good basic foundation of academic
English
Its not worth learning very formal English
Have a daily / weekly routine of reviewing academic
and technical vocabulary youve noted
Focus on phrases including prepositions, typical
uses etc rather than words on their own
Vocabulary that you want to use in writing / speaking
needs to be activated: make associations and
examples
1) Which of these words is closest in meaning to acquisition?
purchase expenditure interruption explanation
2)Which of these most needs to be unambiguous?
a poem a legal contract the words of a song a promise
3) Which of these words is the opposite of analysis?
research thesis investigation synthesis
4) Which of these are assumptions not usually based on?
appearance previous experience testing gossip
5) Which of these would you be happy to receive from someone?
assumption acquisition inadequacy assurance
Quiz questions: one way to activate your basic academic vocabulary
6
6) Which form of categorization is often used for social class?
SWOT SQ3R ABC Do-Re-Mi
7) In which kind of court case is incompatibility often used as the
main argument?
Divorce Burglary Kidnap Murder
8) Which of these is a common misconception about London?
Its foggy and often snows. Its expensive to live in.
Public transport is old-fashioned. Its a very international city.
9) Which of these companies diversified by purchasing a Hollywood
film studio?
Microsoft Apple Panasonic Sony
10) Which of these English scientists was famous for his evolutionary
theory?
Dickens Durkheim Disraeli Darwin
11) Whats the opposite of minimal?
Optimal Cynical Maximal Sceptical
12) Which of these events would be unprecedented?
New Zealand qualifying for the finals of the soccer world cup?
The soccer world cup finals being held in Asia?
A small country winning the soccer world cup?
An African or Asian country winning the soccer world cup?
1) purchase
2) a legal contract
3) synthesis
4) testing
5) assurance
6) ABC
7) divorce
8) its foggy and often snows
9) Sony
10) Darwin
11) Maximal
12) An African or Asian country winning the soccer World Cup
Quiz answers
Personal questions: another way to activate basic academic vocabulary
General academic vocabulary
What was your initial impression of the following? Has it
changed since?
Television in New Zealand
The weather here
Subject-specific vocabulary
How could you define the customer base of the following?
Massey University
MacDonalds
Strategies to deal with unknown vocabulary in your reading
high
future
relevance
low
ignore
work out meaning and move on
look it up to confirm
file it in your system with
example sentence and review
at end of day and week
Sample difficult vocabulary from a prescribed text
Refrain from
Disseminate
Distinguish
Discriminate
between
Validity
Arbitrary
Delegated
Statutory
Judicial
precedent
Compliance
Conform
Laid down
Canvassed
Decriminalization
Out of step
A head-on clash
In accord with
It was held ..
Constraints
Derived
Incidence
Legal liability
Adherents
Unethically
Disclose
Fiduciary duty
utmost good faith
Presumption
Adjudication
Jurisdiction
Prescribing
Vigilance
Flora and fauna
Seizure
Undergo
Nomenclature
Underpin
Lay reader
Tyro
Prone
solecisms
Parties
Hubbard, Thomas & Varnham, 2001
Chapter 1
Much of this is low relevance
practice working out meaning
from context to deal with it
efficiently
7
adequate research of overseas markets is one of several
prerequisites for international marketing success
prerequisites
advantages
things that must be done
things that will surprise you
Quester, McGuiggan, Perreault, & McCarthy, 2004, p. 118
Use your background knowledge and other clues in the sentence
to guess the most likely definition of the keyword.
Time-saving kitchen appliances could be aimed at women
over 35 years of age .. offering the luxury of less drudgery and
more leisure time while at home
drudgery
relaxation
hard work
professional employment
it is easy for both consumers and marketing managers to be
lulled by the promise of constantly increasing standards of
living. Adjustments in consumer thinking will be required if
growth does not resume
lulled
made to feel worried
made to feel embarrassed
made to feel too comfortable
p 192
If you watch a Yoplait advertisement that shows other people
enjoying a new yoghurt flavour, you might conclude that you
would like it too. For services, such vicarious learning is
essential, as consumers can rarely assess the benefit directly
and have to rely on the experience of others
vicarious
second-hand
useless
religious
high
future
relevance
low
Only if the answer is Yes, file it
in your system with example
sentence and review at the end
of the day and week
In order to spend more quality time with the vocabulary
that will be really useful for your writing, you need to
spend less time with the rest.
Is it key topic vocabulary?
Will it be usable in your own writing?
Part 1: Academic English vocabulary and style
Key features of academic style and
vocabulary
1 a
Academic vocabulary test & feedback 1 b
Academic vocabulary strategies
1 c
End of Part 1
8
Part 2: Academic English writing
Essay and report structure
2 a
Paragraph structure 2 b
Sentence structure
2 c
Essay and Report Structure 2 a
What are lecturers etc basically looking for?
Where do I start?
Whats the first sentence I should write in an essay?
How do I write an introduction?
How do I write a conclusion?
How do I summarise someone elses text?
What is flow and how do I get more of it?
Not frequently enough asked questions
Using and
explaining technical
words
Referring to a
range of sources
Using theory as a
tool to analyse
examples
What are they basically looking for?
Logical structure
based on question
Step 1: Identify the
different parts of the
question
Step 2: Estimate how
many paragraphs you
have in your
assignment
Step 3: Make a grid
matching paragraphs to
parts of the assignment
Where do I start?
Question 1
It has been suggested that New Zealand and
Australia should adopt a common currency.
What are the arguments for and against this
proposal? Refer to specific sectors of New
Zealand business and / or society which
might benefit or suffer from such a
development and express an overall opinion
on the proposal.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 1
Step 1: Identify the different parts of the question
Intro
= 150 words (1 paragraph)
Body
= 1700 words
(12 13 paragraphs)
Conclusion
= 150 words
(1 paragraph)
Step 2: Estimate how many paragraphs you have in your assignment
9
Conclusion Paragraph 15
Part 4: Reasons for preferring a common currency
and ways of minimising negative effects
Paragraphs 13
14
Part 3: Arguments for a common currency (3
arguments for supported by 3 examples of sectors
/ firms that might benefit)
Paragraphs 8 - 12
Part 2: Arguments against a common currency (3
arguments supported by 3 examples of sectors /
firms that might suffer)
Paragraphs 3 7
Part 1: Define + analyse common currency Paragraph 2
Intro Paragraph 1
Step 3: Make a grid matching paragraphs to parts of the assignment
The basic thesis is
your opinion
stated in one
arguable
sentence.
You are making a
claim about your
topic.
Whats the first sentence I should write in an essay?
Your
thesis
statement
How to Write a Thesis Statement
Step 1: Write an arguable statement of
opinion related to your question
New Zealand should not make a foreign language
compulsory for primary school children
Step 2: Add elements of support
because A, B, and C
in A, B and C areas
because it would be a costly policy with little
long-term benefit.
Step 3: Address the antithesis (the opposite
point of view).
Although,
Although this would seem a good way to address
the problem of low-achievement in language
learning at schools
Although this would seema good way to address the problem
of low achievement in language learning at school ,
Opinion Statement
because it would be a costly policy with little
long-term benefit.
Elements of Support Antithesis
New Zealand should not make a foreign language
compulsory for primary school children
Final Thesis Statement
10
General, Broad Overview
Your Specific Thesis Statement
How do I write an introduction?
How can you lead your reader into your
topic?
What is your essay going to do?
Compare? Contrast? Explain? Define?
Apply? Analyse? Examine?
What point are you making about this
topic? What is your Thesis Statement?
Key Questions for the Introduction
New Zealand organisations are increasingly involved in
international initiatives, such as joint ventures and
outsourcing. Nonetheless, language and cross-cultural
communication skills remain a low priority for most
business executives. This essay investigates the causes
and effects of this situation, examines potential
advantages of developing these skills among key
employees and outlines principles for successful
implementation of effective training in this area. Although
companies may feel that business negotiation may easily
be conducted in English, research has shown that
investment in language and cultural training equips
organisations with real competitive advantages.
Context
Structure
Thesis
Sample introduction
Your Specific Thesis Statement
Broad Implications in the Field
How do I write a conclusion?
Gives the reader a sense of closure
Restates the thesis
States implications and significance
of the argument
Ends strongly and positively.
As we have seen, successful leadership needs to be dynamic
in order to respond to changing circumstances. Although
XXss directive leadership style had been effective in the
past, changes in the organisational culture had created a more
competent and committed teamwhich performed better with
less direction and more delegation. This mismatch
between leadership style and organisational culture led
to serious problems of staff retention, motivation and
productivity. In this case, the degree of damage only
became apparent on the departure of the marketing
manager and recovery was a long-term process. This
underlines the need for more effective management
training, closer monitoring of management performance
and improved channels of communication within
organisations if such problems are to be avoided.
Significance
And Closure
Main Points
Restate
Thesis
Sample conclusion
11
This essay has examined the similarities and
differences between language disorders of individuals
with TBI and aphasia, and their implications for
intervention. It was argued that, despite certain
similarities between the two language disorders, they
are fundamentally different in origin and extent,
aphasia being limited to language areas in the brain,
leaving other cognitive functions essentially
undamaged. As we have seen, this directly affects
both the aim and procedure of intervention in both
cases. For aphasia, intervention is intended to facilitate
longer-term restoration of lost language function and
the development of coping strategies. For TBI, on the
other hand, a combination of highly structured, clinic
based activities is needed to designed to foster the
recovery of core cognitive abilities, while more specific
language therapy will generally focus on basic
functional conversational and social skills.
Sample conclusion 2
Anothers
words?
Anothers
idea?
No
No
Do not cite it
Yes
Quote and cite
it author, year,
page
Cite it
author +
year.
Yes
Use of Sources
Decision Chart
Harris, 2001, p. 158
How do I summarise someone elses text?
A recent analysis of 50 000 applications for medical
schools and top universities in the UK showed that
5% of them had based their personal statements
on ideas from websites. These included over 200
applications using the same story about burning
their pajamas when they were eight years old to
explain why they wanted to be doctors! (Degree
candidates copy from web, 2005)
Sample summary
Step 1: identify key points of relevance in your original text
Degree applicants 'copy from web'
Thousands of prospective university students are using the internet to
cheat in their applications, analysis by admissions service Ucas reveals.
Checks on 50,000 personal statements found 5% had borrowed material. Its
study, by CFL Software Development, was done after the 15 October deadline
for Oxbridge, medicine, dentistry and veterinary science applications. Almost
800 drew on three example medicine statements on a free website, including a
story about burnt pyjamas. The Ucas application form includes a personal
statement for people to detail their interests and say why they want to study
their chosen course.
CFL, which makes detection software Copycatch, found:
370 sentences contained a statement beginning: "a fascination for how
the human body works..."
234 contained a statement relating a dramatic incident involving
"burning a hole in pyjamas at age eight"
175 contained a statement which involved "an elderly or infirm
grandfather". (text continues)
(Degree candidates copy from web, 2005)
Step 1: identify key points of relevance in your original text
Degree applicants 'copy from web'
Thousands of prospective university students are using the internet to
cheat in their applications, analysis by admissions service Ucas reveals.
Checks on 50,000 personal statements found 5% had borrowed material.
Its study, by CFL Software Development, was done after the 15 October
deadline for Oxbridge, medicine, dentistry and veterinary science
applications.
Almost 800 drew on three example medicine statements on a free website,
including a story about burnt pyjamas. The Ucas application form includes a
personal statement for people to detail their interests and say why they want
to study their chosen course.
CFL, which makes detection software Copycatch, found:
370 sentences contained a statement beginning: "a fascination for how
the human body works..."
234 contained a statement relating a dramatic incident involving
" burning a hole in pyj amas at age eight"
175 contained a statement which involved "an elderly or infirm
grandfather".
As the deadline had approached the number of applications with borrowed
material had increased.
Use note form to shake ideas out of your
source
50 000 apps for top UK unis
5% borrowed mat from web for pers statements
234 used same story about burning pajamas age 8 to show
why they wanted to go to med sch
Note down citation details and decide how you want to
introduce your source
Step 2: separate these points from the original language
12
3 ways to introduce your summary (or quote)
According to Dunbar and Holmes (2003), cognitive behavioural
therapy is increasingly preferred ..
Dunbar and Holmes (2003) claim that cognitive behavioural therapy is
increasingly preferred ..
(claim / argue / explain / point out / provide evidence / suggest that ..)
Cognitive behavioural therapy is increasingly preferred to more traditional
medical interventions in such cases (Dunbar & Holmes, 2003).
According to .
End brackets
Reporting verb
A recent analysis of 50 000
applications for the most
competitive degree courses and
top universities in the UK
showed that 5% of them had
based their personal statements
on ideas from websites. These
included over 200 applications
using the same story about
burning their pajamas when they
were eight years old to explain
why they wanted to be doctors!
50,000 personal statements
Oxbridge, medicine,
dentistry and veterinary
science applications
5% had borrowed material
using the internet
234 contained a statement
relating a dramatic incident
involving " burning a hole in
pyjamas at age eight"
say why they want to
study their chosen course.
phrases from original article my summary
Step 3: Write your own sentences
which fit YOUR audience and argument
Cognitive theories of motivation, on the other hand, seek to explain
motivation to learn language in relation to learners beliefs about their
abilities (Dornyei, 1994, p. 276). Perhaps the most influential of these,
attribution theory, suggests that our beliefs about past experiences
influence expectations of future success. According to this view, the
common experience of low achievement in foreign languages at school
does not necessarily lead to low motivation in adults, since those who
ascribe their past failures to factors beyond their control, might still be
highly-motivated despite past failures. Research by Wu and Ushioda
(2001) supports this view, finding that highly motivated learners did in
fact tend to associate their successes with personal factors and failures
with external factors (as cited in Dornyei, 2005, p. 80). A practical
application of such research might be a stronger emphasis on learner
training with the goal of helping learners overcome unfounded
perceptions of lack of language learning ability based on past failures.
Your voice guides the reader, showing how the different sentences
are related to each other and how your argument develops.
personal evaluation
address the question
hook to previous paragraph
What is flow?
Cognitive theories of motivation seek to explain motivation to learn
language in relation to learners beliefs about their abilities (Dornyei,
1994, p. 276). Attribution theory suggests that our beliefs about past
experiences influence expectations of future success. The common
experience of low achievement in foreign languages at school does not
necessarily lead to low motivation in adults, since those who ascribe their
past failures to factors beyond their control, might still be highly-
motivated despite past failures. Research by Wu and Ushioda (2001)
found that highly motivated learners did in fact tend to associate their
successes with personal factors and failures to external factors (as cited
in Dornyei, 2005, p. 80). There might be a stronger emphasis on learner
training with the goal of helping learners overcome unfounded
perceptions of lack of language learning ability based on past failures.
Without these linking and introductory expressions, your personal voice
is gone and the reader has to try and guess what the argument is.
The same paragraph minus flow!
Another example of a paragraph which flows
Efficient management of human resources, likewise, requires
knowledge and ability to implement macroeconomic
principles. For instance, according to the Principle of
Comparative Advantage, everyone does best when each
concentrates on the activity for which he or she is relatively
most productive (Frank & Bernanke, 2001, p. 23). This
suggests that the underlying purpose of human resources
ought to be to ensure that employees are trained, motivated
and managed so that they can spend most of their time
contributing to the companys mission at the highest skill level
they are capable of. In other words, human resources
management needs to be proactive, rather than reactive.
Own voice in topic and
concluding sentences
Intro phrase,
quotation marks
and page for
copied definition
Own voice to
relate
principle to
your topic
Three qualities make a successful paragraph:
Unity
The paragraph should focus on one idea
Coherence
The sentences in the paragraph should be
clearly related to each other
Development
The paragraphs main idea must be supported
sufficiently with details and examples
Paragraph Structure 2 b
13
TEE Structure is a
standard way to
achieve this
PARAGRAPH
TOPIC SENTENCE
TOPIC
CONTROLLING
IDEA
SUPPORTING
SENTENCES
SUPPORTING
SENTENCES
EXAMPLES EXAMPLES EXAMPLES EXAMPLES
CONCLUSION
Topic
Statement
Explanation
Examples
UNITY
A paragraph should have a TOPIC SENTENCE
which states the main idea clearly. It is usually
good to start each paragraph with a topic
sentence. Every single sentence in the paragraph
should contribute or relate to the main idea. If a
sentence does not clearly relate to the topic
sentence, you should discard it. If the paragraph
begins with one point of discussion, it should not
end with another.
A topic sentence has two essential parts:
This names the subject or main idea of the
paragraph
This makes a specific comment about the
topic
The TOPIC
The CONTROLLING IDEA
Unity
Coherence
Development
Its main idea must be supported sufficiently
with details and examples
COHERENCE can be achieved by creating logical bridges
from one sentence to another. This allows the same idea of a topic
to be carried from sentence to sentence within the paragraph.
This can be done by:
Using Transition words to link ideas from
different sentences.
Using Pronouns for already mentioned
nouns in previous sentences
Substituting key words with Synonyms
Repeating Key words
Use linking words and expressions guiding reader through
paragraphs. These ones help the reader see how the different
components relate to each other.
See www.phrasebank.man.ac.uk for a very useful set of phrases
for different purposes in academic writing
former / latter There are two major approaches to XXXX. The
former is the YYYY model devised by Smith
(1985) and consisting of AAAA, BBBB and CCCC.
The latter is the ZZZZZ model developed by
Hassan and Watanabe (1993), which .
Firstly,
There are a number of drawbacks to this
model. Firstly, . Moreover, .
Finally, and most significantl y, .
14
See www.academicenglishgenerator.com for more examples of
academic writing, focusing on vocabulary development.
Thus, though functionalists and Marxists both discern
common features in education, they draw radically
different conclusions. For functionalists, education is a
means of resolving many of the divisions and tensions of
modern society. Marxists perceive this conception of
education as fundamentally flawed, since for them
capitalist societies are inherently unfair to the majority of
the population. Therefore, they seek to extend the scope of
education, so that its main role is to enable people to
reject, rather than passivel y accept those divisions.
These expressions allow the reader to follow the logic of your
argument
Transition words can indicate various things
CHRONOLOGICAL
ORDER
OBJECTS IN RELATION
TO EACH OTHER
ORDER OF
IMPORTANCE
first
secondly
next
meanwhile
later
then
afterwards
finally
next to
in front of
beside
between
behind
on the other hand
conversely
similarly
likewise
however
furthermore
as a result
in fact
yet
also
in addition
GIVE AN
EXAMPLE
GIVE AN EFFECT/
RESULT
ADD A
CONCLUSION
for example
for instance
therefore
thus
consequently
as a result
in brief
all in all
indeed
in other words
in short
in the end
Unity
Coherence
Development
Its main idea must be supported sufficiently
with details and examples
Hurricanes, which are also called cyclones, exert tremendous power.
These violent storms are often a hundred miles in diameter, and their
winds can reach velocities of seventy-five miles an hour or more.
Furthermore, the strong winds and heavy rainfall that accompany them
can completely destroy a small town in a couple of hours. The energy
that is released by a hurricane in one day exceeds the total energy
consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year.
The developmental features in a paragraph
4. Its power
The concept of the power of the hurricane is developed through
reference to:
1. Its size
2. Its speed
3. Its capacity for destruction
DEVELOPMENT
In addition to being unified and coherent, a
paragraph should hold a readers interest and
explore its topic fully, using details and evidence.
Illustrating a point with examples can help to
develop the main idea of the paragraph.
Use enough evidence to convince your readers that
the topic sentences assertion is valid. Your
evidence should illustrate the point, not merely
restate it.
15
On 5 April the Ministry issued a statement denying the
accusations by the former Prime Minister. This angered several
former MPs.
On 5 April the Ministry issued a statement denying the
accusations by the former Prime Minister. This move angered
several former MPs.
Sometimes the word this is not clear enough alone and you need to add
a noun after it..
Connecting ideas in a paragraph: Repeating ideas from a previous sentence
(Adapted from Pakenham, 1998)
The government has decided to build a new factory on the west side of
town. The decision has angered a lot of residents, who fear that the
factory will destroy the beauty of their neighbourhood.
According to new statistics from the government, unemployement has
fallen in the last six months. These figures suggest that the economy is
improving.
The noun figures is a synonym for the noun statistics in the earlier
sentence
Here the writer uses this + the noun form of the verb used in the
previous sentence.
Some common words to make the reference back clearer and form a
bridge to your developing argument
On April 15, 1912, the Titanic, the largest passenger ship in the world at
that time, sank in the North Atlantic. A total of 1,522 passengers and
crew lost their lives. The disaster shocked the world.
Here the writer is again using the + noun, but the noun is a general word
that descibes something in the earlier sentence.
For things that
happen
incident
event
situation
circumstances
development
For things that we
do
action
move
reaction
behaviour
practice
For things that
we think
idea
view
attitude
(Adapted from Pakenham, 1998, pp. 4-5)
PARAGRAPH LENGTH
No hard and fast rules. At undergraduate level a
paragraph of between 100 and 200 words is probably
what you should be aiming for
Shorter than five or six good, substantial sentences
- re-examine the paragraph and see whether you
have developed the ideas fully. (This is just a
guideline and doesnt apply to all paragraphs)
A paragraph should be long enough to do justice to the
main idea of the paragraph - it may be short or it may be
long - it is not the number of words which count, but
whether the paragraph is complete.
If your paragraph runs onto a page or longer, there may
be a problem. In this case:
Check that you are sticking to only ONE TOPIC
Check that you have not introduced SUB TOPICS that
appear to be related to the topic but which in fact
deserve their own paragraphs
Check for REPETITION of ideas
WHAT TO DO IF A PARAGRAPH IS TOO SHORT
It probably lacks sufficient development.
Have you explained the topic sentence?
Have you given examples to illustrate the topic sentence?
16
The T E E rubric will enable you to always construct
readable, complete paragraphs.
T
E
E
Topic Statement
Explanation
Example or
Evidence
Hurricanes are powerful
They get their power from
their size and their speed
They can destroy a small
town in a matter of hours
Paragraph Structure 2 b Sentence Structure
2 C
Some language gas to lift
you up
Cause and effect language
Similarity and difference language
Problem and solution language
Some language holes to
repair
Basic sentence structure
Singular and plural
Verb tense
Pronoun reference
The
Nouns
Cause
C is the cause of E
C is one factor in E
C is the reason for E
Effect
E is the result of C
E is the consequence of C
E is the outcome of C
Verbs
C causes E
C results in E
C brings about E
C creates E
C gives rise to E
C leads to E
C produces E
C forces E
C plays a part in E
To attribute E to C
To blame C for E
Make sure that you use the
appropriate tense
Sentence Structure
2 C
Showing cause and effect
(Adapted from Pakenham, 1998, p. 19)
Inside a sentence :
Crops have failed as a result of the drought.
As a result of the drought, crops have failed.
Between sentences:
There was a severe drought last year. As a result,
the crops failed.
Effect Cause
Cause
Effect
Cause
Effect
Sentence Structure
2 C
More and more women are interested in developing their
careers; for this reason, we can expect an increase in
the number of women in medicine, law, and scientific
research.
The cost of residential houses has increased by 40% in
the last two years. This dramatic rise in prices has forced
many young people into the rental market.
In 1999 the two countries resumed diplomatic talks. This
improvement in the relationship between the two
countries facilitated the re-opening of trade links.
Sentence Structure
2 C
X is similar to Y
There is a similarity between X and Y
X and Y are identical
X is equivalent to Y
X (closely) resembles Y
Sentence Structure
2 C
Showing similarity and difference
17
Children in private schools have several
problems in common with children in
government schools. In both sectors of the
education system, children struggle with
issues such as teasing and bullying.
Children in public schools have problems
with bullying; likewise, many children in
private schools face both emotional and
physical victimisation on a regular basis.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Smith and Jones (1999) distinguish between deliberate cruelty towards
other children and unintentional cruelty (p.46). An awareness of
this distinction is useful for a teacher who has to deal with an accusation of
bullying in the classroom.
Wealthy industrial nations are able to provide health care to all those in
need of it while many third world countries can provide this care to only
twenty or thirty percent of potential patients.
Wealthy industrial nations are able to provide health care to all those in
need of it. In contrast, many third world countries can provide this care to
only twenty or thirty percent of potential patients.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Wealthy industrial nations and developing nations face different
issues in the provision of health-care. Industrial nations are
concerned with providing the latest drugs and technology to treat
the small number of ill people in the population. In these nations
the focus is on the sophisticated treatment of conditions such as
heart disease and cancer. Developing nations, in contrast, are faced
with the problem of providing for the majority of their population the
clean water, the basic drugs and the vaccines that the industrial
world takes for granted. In these nations the priority is dealing with
diseases that are widespread in the population because of
unsanitary living conditions and the lack of basic health care.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Wealthy industrial nations and developing nations
face different issues in the provision of health-care.
Industrial nations are concerned with providing the latest
drugs and technology to treat the small number of ill
people in the population. In these nations the focus is on
the sophisticated treatment of conditions such as heart
disease and cancer. Developing nations, in contrast, are
faced with the problem of providing for the majority of
their population the clean water, the basic drugs and the
vaccines that the industrial world takes for granted. In
these nations the priority is dealing with diseases that are
widespread in the population because of unsanitary living
conditions and the lack of basic health care.
Subject 1
Topic sentence
Subject 2
Detail
Detail
Sentence Structure
2 C
vaccines that the industrial world takes for granted.
In these nations the priority is dealing with diseases that
are widespread in the population because of unsanitary
living conditions and the lack of basic health care.
Subject 1
Topic sentence
Subject 2
Detail
Detail
Cause
Effect
Sentence Structure
2 C
Describing problems
problem risk
difficulty threat
crisis danger
challenge complication
obstacle issue
Describing solutions
to solve to relieve
to resolve to ease
to respond to deal with
to remedy to overcome
to improve to address
The community of Dark Bay has identified childhood obesity as one of the
major threats to the health of the community. In order to address the problem,
the Health Board has launched a campaign to teach parents about healthy
eating habits for their children.
In an attempt to address the problem,
Subject of sentence
Sentence Structure
2 C
Showing problems and solutions
18
The cheapest and most effective solution to the problem of heart
disease is for people to start taking more responsibility for
maintaining their own health. They can do this by developing
healthier eating habits, by taking more exercise, by reducing stress
in their lives and by avoiding activities like smoking that increase the
risk of heart attack.
Problem: heart disease
Solution: Develop healthier
eating habits
Exercise
more
Reduce
stress
Avoid unhealthy
activities
Sentence Structure
2 C
Showing problems and solutions
Sentence Structure
2 C
Some language gas
Cause and effect language
Similarity and difference language
Problem and solution language
Some language holes
Singular and plural
Verb tense
Pronoun reference
The
Every sentence must have a
Main Subject/Verb-Phrase
The Main Subject/Verb-Phrase must have a
Sense of Completion
The Main Subject/Verb-Phrase must
contain a Complete Idea.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Who
Did what?
The researcher concluded that stereotypes still exist.
The committee decided upon a new policy.
Women were portrayed primarily as caregivers.
The question is crucial.
This study has shown a high level of compliance.
Combined, the Subject/Verb-Phrase must state a complete idea.
Sentence Structure
2 C
subject + verb
Although the study was flawed ,
After the riots began ,
Even in comic strips ,
While answers are premature ,
Contrasting all previous work ,
the researcher concluded that
the committee decided upon
women were portrayed as
the question is
this study has shown
An introductory phrase is anything that comes before the Main
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Main Subject/Verb-Phrase Introductory Phrase
(Offers Additional Information) (Complete Idea)
Sentence Structure
2 C
Interrupters may come between the Subject and Verb-Phrase
The researcher
Subject Interrupter Verb-Phrase
, a leading academic , concluded
The committee , which was formed ad hoc , decided
Women , when they appeared at all , were portrayed
This question , on the other hand , is
This study , although narrow in scope , has shown
Notice the commas on both sides of the interrupter
(Offers Additional Information) (Compete Idea)
Sentence Structure
2 C
19
although it is rarely examined.
demonstrating that
reinforcing the notion that.
although they are less prevalant
The researcher concluded that stereotypes still exist
Trailers may come after the Subject/Verb-Phrase
Subject Verb-Phrase
Trailers
( =Complete Idea)
(OffersAdditional Information)
Sentence Structure
2 C
A Subject/Verb-Phrase.
Lacksonand Enscore(1993) modified their plans.
Subject Verb-Phrase
The Subject / Verb- Phrase must state a complete idea.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Lacksonand Enscore(1993) modified their plans
to solve the problem.
+ Trailer.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Other elements can be added to
develop the main idea expressed in
the main clause ..
Subject/Verb-Phrase. Introductory Phrase +
In subsequent trials,
Sentence Structure
2 C
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Introductory Phrase + + Trailer.
Sentence Structure
2 C
modified their plans.
Verb-Phrase Subject , Interrupter ,
Lacksonand Enscore(1993)
, in their work with split-brain patients,
Becareful withinterruptersandtry to keeptheSubject andVerb-Phraseclosetogether.
Sentence Structure
2 C
20
But take care not to add too many elements. This may mean your
poor reader has to fish for the main clause!
Intro Phrase + 2nd Intro phrase
Subj/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer + a 2
nd
Trailer + a 3
rd
Trailer
In the 1960s when little study was devoted to facial expression, like
most social scientists of her day, Mead believed expression was
culturally determined, that we simply use our face according to a set
of learned social conventions, a belief that grew fromthe emphasis
on motivation and cognition in academic psychology that flourished
at the time.
+ 3rd Intro phrase +
Sentence Structure
2 C
Intro Phrase + 2nd Intro phrase +
Subj/Verb-Phrase + 3
rd
Intro phrase + + a Trailer.
This time, making his way through the jungles of Papua New
Guinea to the most remote villages where tribesmen had no
problems interpreting the expressions on the photographs he
carried of men and women making a variety of distinctive facial
expressions, Ekmanhad a breakthrough that established that
expressions were the universal products of evolution.
Sentence Structure
2 C
And, take care, especially if there are a lot of introductory phrases, fishing
isnt enough! The reader has to go deep-sea diving for the main clause!
If your sentence is too long or complicated
1. Identify the Main Subject/Verb-Phrase
(Make sure its a complete idea)
2. Identify secondary elements that could be
extracted
3. Create new sentences around the extracted
ideas.
Sentence Structure
2 C
In the 1960s when little study was devoted to facial
expression, like most social scientists of her day,
Mead believed expression was culturally determined,
that we simply use our face according to a set of
learned social conventions, a belief that grew from
the emphasis on motivation and cognition in
academic psychology that flourished at the time.
2. Identify the secondary elements that could be extracted
3. Create new sentences around the extracted ideas.
One over complicated and ungrammatical sentence .
In the 1960s when little study was devoted to facial expression, like most
social scientists of her day, Mead believed expression was culturally
determined, that we simply use our face according to a set of learned
social conventions, a belief that grew from the emphasis on motivation
and cognition in academic psychology that flourished at the time.
. becomes FOUR clear and grammatical sentences
In the1960s, littlestudy was devoted to facial expression.
Likemost social scientists of her day, Mead believed expressionwas culturally
determined.
In other words, shebelieved wesimply useour faceaccording toaset of
learned social conventions.
This belief grew fromtheemphasis on motivation and cognition in academic
psychology that flourished at thetime.
Before every sentence, add I think that and listen
for a sense of completion of an idea. I think that
WHO? DID WHAT?
Ekmanand Friesen created the Facial Action Coding
System, or FACS. Wrote them up in a 500 page
binder. It is full of details like the 8 possible
movements of the lips it also gives four different
changes of the skin between the eyes and the cheeks.
Researchers have used this information in many ways.
To study schizophrenia and heart disease.
X
X
X
Sentence Structure
2 C
If your sentence is a fragment
21
Subject =plural verb =plural form
Subject =singular verb =singular form
Plural subject has
s ending
Plural verb form has
no s ending
Singular subject has
no --s ending
Singular verb form has
-s ending
The researchers study
A researcher studies
Sentence Structure
2 C
Subject verb agreement
Singular and Plural
More and more women are interested in developing their
careers; for this reason, we can expect an increase in
the number of women in medicine, law, and scientific
research.
The cost of residential houses has increased by 40% in
the last two years. This dramatic rise in prices has forced
many young people into the rental market.
In 1999 the two countries resumed diplomatic talks. This
improvement in the relationship between the two
countries has facilitated the re-opening of trade links.
Subject
Subject
Subject
Sentence Structure
2 C
Singular and Plural
vaccines that the industrial world takes for granted. In
these nations the priority is dealing with diseases that are
widespread in the population because of unsanitary living
conditions and the lack of basic health care.
Subject 1
Topic sentence
Subject 2
Detail
Detail
Sentence Structure
2 C
Subject verb agreement
Singular and Plural
The tense the time element of a verb needs to be
consistent throughout your writing.
Decide when you want your writing to take place
either yesterday, now, or tomorrow
Check all:
action verbs (buy, rise, cause)
state-of-being verbs (is, are, was, were)
auxiliary verbs (have, had, has)
Sentence Structure
2 C
Verb tense
Verb tense
The economic situation in Peru is dismal.
People lost jobs, inflation had been rising,
and all the economic problems had been
causing social and political problems. Since
there is high inflation, employees cannot buy
the same things they buy the month before
because prices have been rising 3 times
faster than salaries.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Verb tense
The economic situation in Peru is
dismal. People are losing jobs,
inflation is rising, and all the economic
problems are causing social and
political problems. Since there is high
inflation, employees cannot buy the
same things they bought the month
before because prices are rising 3
times faster than salaries.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Verb tense
22
A common problem with pronouns is when it is
unclear what word the pronoun refers to.
This is especially common when the referent word
is in a previous sentence.
Check all your pronouns for any possible
misunderstandings.
Sentence Structure
2 C
Pronoun reference
Pronoun reference
Use the Find and Replace function to locate
your pronouns, especially
If the referent is 1 or 2 (or more) sentences back, or if there are
multiple nouns that the pronoun could be referring to in that
sentence, restate the noun.
IT, THEY, THEIR, THEM
What word does the pronoun refer to?
Is it close and clear?
Sentence Structure
2 C
Pronoun reference
When a solution to a problem
causes another problem, it should be
reanalysed.
Clearer version
When a solution to a problem causes
another problem, the entire problem-
solution process should be reanalysed.
?
Sentence Structure
2 C
Pronoun reference
When youve mentioned something previously:
At the meeting a student spoke about problems in finding housing.
The student emphasised
When the word is qualified by specific information:
Example 1: Qualified by a phrase:
The books on the third shelf
Example 2: Qualified by another noun:
The article commented on the New Zealand economy.
Example 3: Qualified by a relative clause:
The enquiry that began in 2001
Using the definite article - the
Sentence Structure
2 C
The (Adapted from Pakenham, 1998)
Part 2: Academic English writing
Essay and report structure
2 a
Paragraph structure 2 b
Sentence structure
2 c
End of Part Two
References
Degree candidates copy from web. (2007, March 7). BBC News.
Retrieved March 7, 2006 from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/
uk_news/education/6426945.stm
Hubbard, J., Thomas, C., & Varnham, S. (2001). Principles of law for
New Zealand business students (2
nd
ed.). Auckland, New Zealand:
Prentice Hall.
Pakenham, K.J. (2001). Making connections: Academic reading
techniques. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge
University Press.
Quester, P., McGuiggan, R., Perreault, W., & McCarthy,M. (2004).
Marketing: Creating and delivering value. Sydney, Australia:
McGraw Hill.
1
K. Pritchard
What are the Qualities of
Academic Writing?
Academic Conventions: Accurate,
Objective, Referenced
Academic Tone: Formal expression. No
slang or overly-casual vocabulary
Academic Argument: Claim,
Reasons, Evidence, and
Counter-argument.
Why do you need to write this way?
Imagine you had borrowed your friends brand new
BMW for a night on the town.
At the end of a very exciting and fun evening, you were
involved in a minor car accident.
Think about the different ways you would tell the story of
the evening to the following people:
~ your friend, the owner of the car
~ your grandmother
~ the police officer
~ a 12-year old neighbor
Academic Writing
Language style for a specific audience and a
specific purpose
Follows conventions of a particular field of
study.
Academic Expectations:
Challenge
and Critique
Authority:
Dont accept information
without critically thinking
about it.
Explain whose ideas you are
building upon. Acknowledge
all sources youve used.
Dont just summarise the issue.
Develop your opinion with
reasons and support.
Document
your
information:
Argue a
specific issue:
The Rules of Academic
Writing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Rule 2: Be Imaginative
Rule 3: Be Straightforward
Rule 4: Know the Conventions
ACADEMIC WRITING FOR ESOL STUDENTS
2
Rule 1: Be Curious
Ask questions about your topic:
What are the interesting aspects of the topic?
What have other researchers concluded?
What is the history or background of this topic?
What do I think about this topic?
Ask Questions about Ideas
How does this idea work?
What are the benefits and drawbacks?
Where did this idea come from?
Whats the main point of this idea?
Whats an example of this idea?
Why is this idea important?
Ask Questions about Experiences:
What happened next?
What happened before this?
Why did this happen?
When was this?
Had this happened before?
What caused this?
What was the consequence of this?
What experiences do I have with this?
Practice
Lets say you are asked to Discuss the
effects of immigration on New Zealand.
Be curious!
Ask yourself as many
questions as you can
about this topic.
What questions did you ask?
What is New Zealands immigration policy?
How has the policy changed over the years?
How many immigrants move to New Zealand annually?
Where are NZ immigrants from?
What difficulties do immigrants have adjusting to NZ culture?
What difficulties do New Zealanders have adjusting to introduced
cultures?
What programmes are in place to help ease culture clashes?
How does immigration affect the education system?
How does immigration affect the job market?
How does immigration affect the environment?
How does immigration affect New Zealands economy?
Questions
Supply the Power for Academic Writing.
3
Writing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Imagine the World of Evidence: What
possible types of information could you
find about your topic?
What is Academic
EVIDENCE?
APPEAL
TO
AUTHORITY
STATISTICS
AND DATA
PERSONAL
EXPERIENCE
FACTS
RESEARCH
FINDINGS
EXAMPLES
Evidence 1:
Facts
Facts are the strongest form of evidence.
Verifiable
Fairly undisputed
Supported by ample, dependable evidence.
Planes hijacked by terrorists crashed into the
World Trade Center on 11 September, 2001.
Fact or Opinion? Why?
Some Types of Facts:
Historical fact: The San Francisco
Earthquake of 1973 resulted in 184 million
dollars damage.
Scientific fact: Fissures are areas of weakness
that lie along earthquake faults. Most
earthquake epicenters occur at fissures.
Geographical fact: San OnofreNuclear
Power Plant is 3 miles west of the San
Clemente Fissure of the San Andreas Fault.
Opinions
(versus Facts)
Capital punishment deters crime.
Conflicting evidence
Unreliable evidence
No evidence
The more supporting evidence there is for a belief, the
more factual the belief becomes.
(Browne& Keeley, 2004, p.104)
Fact or Opinion? Why?
4
Evidence 2:
Appeal to Authority
Why should we believe this authority?
How much training and expertise does this authority
have in this subject?
Is the authority free of distorting influences?
Has the authority been reliable in the past?
Interview an expert
J ournal articles
Books, textbooks, course materials
Trustworthy Organisations
Evidence 3:
Statistics and Data
Statistics can be deceptive or incomplete.
What are the absolute numbers?
Increase from 3 to 5?
Increase from 300 to 500?
Last year, homicides increased
by 67%.
Evidence 4:
Research Findings
What is the quality of the source?
Has the study been replicated?
How far can we generalize from the research study
or case example?
Could there be any conflicting motives?
Case Studies Surveys
Longitudinal Studies Questionnaires Interviews
Experiments
Evidence 5:
Examples
What examples demonstrate this point?
How can the idea be illustrated?
Would a story or scenario help clarify the
point?
Evidence 6:
Personal Experience
I played video games when I was a kid, and I
wasnt harmed by them.
My friend took anti-depressants for her
depression and it just got worse.
What are the strengths of this kind of evidence?
What are the limitations?
Evidence is the backbone of
Academic Writing
5
Practice
What kind of evidence can you imagine for
Discuss the effects of immigration on
New Zealand. ?
Facts
Appeal to Authority
Statistics and Data
Research Findings
Examples
Personal Experience
What evidence did you imagine?
What facts are available for:
Immigration changes, programmes available, languageprogrammes, etc...
Who are immigration experts? What do they think?
NZ Immigration Services, Labour Department, Researchers, etc
What are the statistics about NZ immigration?
Immigration numbers; education, jobs, economy, etc
What research has been done on immigration issues?
NZ attitudes toward immigration; Immigrant experiences; Education,
employment, and environmental impacts, Cultural issues, etc
What are some examples of culture clashes?
How is my life impacted by immigration? What are my or
others personal experiences in immigration issues?
Once you Imagine the Evidence...
You need to FIND IT.
Afternoon session will give help with locating information.
Writing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Is this idea expressed as simply and
clearly as possible?
Avoid Fancy words
Avoid Fancy-sounding sentences
Add Secondary Information carefully.
Avoid Fancy Words
Perambulate..walk
Utilise... use
Commencebegin
Ameliorateimprove
Peruseread
George Orwell said, Never use a long word where a short one will do.
Use words you are familiar with.
6
But not too Informal
Just Right
Assist
Establish
Increase
Reduce
Eliminate
Too Informal:
Help out
Set up
Gone up
Cut down
Get rid of
Use Language Resources
English Dictionary
Bilingual Dictionary
Thesaurus
Idiomatic Dictionary
Microsoft Word
Tools in Menu bar
Go to: Language
To to: Thesaurus
Use Thesaurus in conjunction with OTHER dictionaries
Check for parts of speech
Check for usage, examples in sentences.
Use Together
Avoid Fancy-sounding Sentences
Certain product lines such as CDs that have not been
previously recorded upon are now unavailable with
this company, whilst potentially remaining available
from more mainstream suppliers.
This company no longer sells blank CDs, but you can
buy them at other stores.
In other words
Add Secondary Information Carefully
Introductory Phrases
Interrupters
Trailers
Main Subject / Verb-Phrase
+
Secondary Information
Subject to
Cultural
Language
Differences
Cultural Language Differences
Subject/Verb is usually close
to the beginning of the
sentence
English Sentences: Other Languages:
Sentence often starts with a
purpose, condition, or reason
phrase, which pushes the
Subject/Verb to the end of
the sentence
The store held three sales
promotions during the authors
observation time between 1
August and 5 October.
During the authors
observation time, which was
between 1 August and 5
October, the store held three
sales promotions.
Sentences are direct and
straight-to-the-point
Sentences arrive at the
main point gradually
The store has done a good job
integrating their sales
promotions.
After observing the store for
three months, and considering
the integration of sales
promotions, the store has
done a good job.
7
Verb shows the tense
Tense is often shown in a
prepositional phrase before
the subject/verb.
The promotions have been
very effective.
Over several months, the
promotions are very
effective.
Over a period of time
Overt, obvious connections
between sentences
Connections between
sentences are assumed
The key to successful promotion
is customer awareness.
To encourage this awareness,
sales promotions should include
several media. For example,
Michael Hill J ewelersuse TV,
newspaper advertisements, and
letterbox fliers.
The key to successful
promotion is customer
awareness. Sales promotions
should include several media.
Michael Hill J ewelersuse TV,
newspaper advertisements, and
letterbox fliers.
Each sentence focuses on
one main idea
One sentence often
expresses several ideas
Michael Hill, one of the largest
jewelryretailers compared to
other NZ jewelerslike Pascoes
and Steward Dawson but at a
higher quality with moderate-
to-high income customers, has
47 stores in New Zealand.
Michael Hill is one of the largest
jewelryretailers in New Zealand,
with 47 stores. * Their products
are a higher quality than their
competitors, Pascoesand
Steward Dawson. * Their
customers are fromthe moderate-
to-high income bracket.
Writing in English:
Keep the Subject/Verb-phrase at the beginning of the
sentence unless you are adding a transitional phrase
Try to avoid long introductory phrases before the
subject/verb-phrase. State the main point directly.
Make connections between sentences using
transitional words and phrases
Rely on the verb to show tense
Try to avoid overly-long sentences. Use full-stops and
semi-colons, with one main idea per sentence.
Two Guidelines:
1. Try to keep the Main Subject and the Verb-phrase
close to each other
2. Try to keep the Main Subject/Verb-phrase close to
the beginning of the sentence.
Main
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Who Did/is what?
The researcher concludes that stereotypes still exist.
Combined, the Subject/Verb-Phrases state a complete idea
Subject/Verb-phrases are close to each other
Subject/Verb-phrases are close to the beginning of the sentence.
8
Secondary Information
That- Who- and Which- phrases
Contrast Phrases: Althoughdespite
Why- When- and Where- Phrases
How-Phrases
--ingphrases
With or without phrases
Where to place Secondary
Information
Short and long
phrases.
Use frequently.
Short phrases.
Use very sparingly.
Short phrases.
Use sparingly,
usually as a
transition.
Before the Subject/Verb-Phrase:
Between the Subject and
Verb-Phrase: Interrupters
After the Subject/Verb-Phrase:
Trailers.
Practice
The cat snarled.
Who
Did/is what?
Create a practice sentence as simple as this one.
That Who and Which Phrases
The study that was conducted last year found
This study examines the health attitudes of immigrants
who have entered the country within the last decade.
The results are surprising, which demonstrates that
The cat that was hiding behind the treesnarled.
The cat who was trapped in the corner snarled.
The cat snarled, which was typical of a wild beast.
Contrast Phrases
Although it is a more expensive process, the Sprague method
gives more accurate results.
The participants demonstrate consistent responsesdespite
overwhelming peer influence.
These method measure different aspects of interference, although
they have still been shown to correlate.
Although despite
The cat snarled, although it was usually a nice animal.
The cat snarled despite its usual friendliness.
Why- When- and Where- Phrases
The cat snarled because it was tired and hungry.
The cat snarled before eating its dinner.
The cat snarled from its spot on the fence.
To eliminate these visual distractions, the interview
was held in a quiet, empty lounge.
Computer tutors clearly lack an important dimension
when compared to human tutors.
We tried to answer some of these questions in the
initial experiment.
9
How- Phrases
--ing phrases:
The cat snarled, arching its back and tail.
The cat snarled, baring its teeth threateningly.
The researcher measured the participants at three body
locations using a skin-fold test.
People experience social events with others, drawing
on shared cultural factors such as language and
history.
How- Phrases
With or without phrases:
With its yellow eyes gleaming, the cat snarled.
The cat snarled without fear.
Without recognising these cultural differences in
communication behaviours, individuals often
communicate ineffectively.
The skin was measured with the Holtain skinfold
caliper.
Caution!
Add Secondary Information carefully!
Not too many ideas in one sentence!
In the 1960s when little study was devoted to
facial expression, like most social scientists of
her day, Mead believed expression was
culturally determined, that we simply use our
face according to a set of learned social
conventions, a belief that grew from the
emphasis on motivation and cognition in
academic psychology that flourished at the
time.
Too Much Secondary Information in one sentence.
at the time.
Little study was devoted to facial expression in the 1960s.
Like most social scientists of those years, Mead believed
expression was culturally determined.
In other words, she believed we simply use our face according to
a set of learned social conventions.
This belief grew fromthe emphasis on motivation and cognition
in academic psychology that flourished at the time.
Guidelines to Follow:
1. Keep the Subject close to the Verb-Phrase
2. Keep the Subject and Verb-Phrase close to the
beginning of the sentence
3. Use Introductory phrases as transitions
4. Use Trailers for most secondary information
5. If your sentences are too long,
Extract secondary information
Create new sentences around it.
10
Writing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Stock Academic Phrases
Academic Use of Tense.
Stock Academic Phrases:
Introductions
The central issue in xxx is yyy
The development of xxx is a common
problem in.
Xxx is of particular interest for.
For the last xxx (time period), yyyhas
One (controversial/interesting/important)
(issue/problem) Xxx is facing is
Purpose of Essay
The (aim/purpose/focus/goal) of this essay is to
(look at/examine/discuss) xxx
This essay describes
analyses
discusses
examines
investigates
addresses
Use the
task terms
given in the
assignment
Citing Source Material
Smith (2003) states that
remarks
proposes
mentions that/how
indicates
explains
points out
suggests
Explaining Findings
Their results help explain that/how/why
explain the reasons
the position
These results challenge the claim that
The findings offer explanations for
11
Academic Tense: Simple Present
Most academic writing is in simple present
tense: Used almost 3x more than past tense
Present tense:
Refers to actions and events that take place
generally in the present, but not necessarily at
the present moment or time
Habitual activities: The company provides
Citational present: Smith finds that
Historical present: Few occupations are
Example:
Observational learning is important in
socialisation. In particular people learn patterns
of behaviour by observing prime-time television
shows. This essay presents a discussion of
observational learning and the process of
socialisation. This is followed by a review of
behaviour patterns that may be learned as a result
of watching prime-time television. Finally, some
implications for public policy are presented.
Past Tense
In academic writing, most past tense is used
for specific actions or events that took place
in the past and no longer continue in the
present
Case studies
Specific experiments
Specific historical events
Otherwise, you can usually write in simple
present tense.
Examples:
In 1994, Hilton Hotels Corp. announced
plans for a reorganization of its internal
operations (Zikmundet al., 1995, p. 184).
3M developed Post-It notes and many
other unique products.
In their 2001 study, Woolf and Parker found
that costs in non-profit hospitals increased
24.7%.
Future Tense and Modal Verbs
Future tense is not often used in academic
writing
Generally reserved for plans and predictions
with a very high degree of certainty:
The company will expand in 2006.
Modals (may, can, could, plans to) are
recommended because they are less definite:
The government may solve these problems
Progressive: Is/was + ing
Small percentage of academic writing uses
these forms.
Used when its important that the action is
seen as happening at the present moment, or
during a specified time period:
The students are conducting an experiment
(right now)
The water was boiling steadily when the
chemical reaction took place (specific time).
12
Future time-markers:
In the next decade, businesses may
To shift back to present tense, use a present time-
marker:
At present, the company works
Tense Shifts
Past time-markers:
In 1994, Smith examined
At the turn of the 19
th
century, psychology was
When you need to shift from the simple present tense,
use clear time-markers with the appropriate verb tense:
Writing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Thank you
and Happy Writing.
K. Pritchard
1
1
APA
Referencing
Presenter: Vanessa van der Ham
Learning Advisor: Postgraduate
Student Learning Centre
V.Vanderham@massey.ac.nz
2
What We Will Cover In This Session
Why do I need to reference?
How do I reference?
The format of APA referencing
In-text referencing: Quotations and summaries
End-of-text referencing: Reference Lists
Referencing internet sources
We will be using a sample essay adapted from Summers &
Smith (2003) during this presentation.
3
Why Do I Need to Reference?
To distinguish between your ideas and someone elses ideas
- One of most frequent comments by markers: Source?
- I read it somewhere is not an acceptable explanation
- Common knowledge? Very little of what goes into your essay
will be common knowledge.
To show the marker the range and quality of your reading
- Research skills
To direct readers to the sources used
- Publication details
To avoid allegations of plagiarism
- Using other peoples ideas and words without acknowledging them
4
How do I reference?
APA Method
American Psychological Association
In-text references: in the body of the essay
- few details of source
- author surname; date of publication; page
numbers
End-of text references: in Reference List
- full details of source
5
In-text reference:
Observational learning, also known as vicarious or social
learning, plays a significant role in the socialisation of
individuals (Mowen & Minor, 1998, p. 2).
End-of-text reference:
Mowen, J. C., & Minor, M. (1998). Consumer behavior (5
th
ed.).
Upper-Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
For every source you refer to in your assignment, there
must be an entry in the References section of your
assignment with full publication details:
Paragraph 1
6
In-text References
Two types:
Authors exact words
Your words
Quotations
Summaries
APA REFERENCING
2
7
Quotations
Place in quotation marks to indicate that youve used the
exact words of the author
Indicate the source, date of publication and page
number(s) where the information can be found
Example: (Par. 2)
Observational learning can be defined as the phenomenon
whereby people develop patterns of behavior by observing
the actions of others (Mowen & Minor, 1998, p. 147).
Authors
surname(s)
Date of
publication
Page
number
8
Introduce quoted materials
Use an appropriate signal phrase:
Observational learning can be defined as the phenomenon
whereby people develop patterns of behavior by observing
the actions of others (Mowen & Minor, 1998, p. 147).
Mowen and Minor (1998) define observational learning as:
the phenomenon whereby people develop patterns of
behavior by observing the actions of others (p. 147).
OR
9
Summarising
Using someone elses ideas, concepts or data,
but not their exact words
Use your own words and your own sentence
structure
- your voice must be clear in the text
Even though youre using your own words, you
must acknowledge the source
- the ideas belong to someone else
10
Summarising
Socialisation refers to the process by which individuals acquire the
knowledge, skills and dispositions that enable them to participate as
members of society (Mowen & Minor, 1998, p. 534). From a consumer
behaviour perspective, socialisation refers to how people acquire skills,
knowledge and attitudes that enable them to function as consumers in the
marketplace (Assael, 1998, p. 22). Cowell (2001) discusses four main
consumer socialising agents in the lives of children, namely parents,
schools, peers and television. He points out that because of its wide
reach, television can influence much behaviour, both positively and
negatively (p. 76). Preston (2004) points out, for example, that the
advertising used on television helps children to acquire the tools of social
interaction (p. 365). On the other hand, Silverblatt (2004) argues that the
explicit sexual and violent content of programs in mass media systems
such as television can exert a strongly negative influence on the public.
Check whether your department requires page numbers for summaries
11
Reference List
Overall Guidelines
Entries are arranged alphabetically
Direct readers as closely as possible to the information
being cited
Different information is required to find periodicals and
non-periodicals
- Periodicals: published daily/weekly/monthly
Eg. journals; magazines; newspapers
- Non-periodicals: not published periodically
Eg. books; reports; brochures
Periodicals and non-periodicals are formatted differently
12
th
ed.).
Format of non-periodical sources
Title of book in italics
Place of publication: City
Country OR State (in the USA)
Name of publisher
3
13
th
ed.).
Format of non-periodical sources
Title of book in italics
Place of publication: City
Country OR State (in the USA)
Name of publisher
Shortcut!
Examine the Library Catalogue page for the above
text and find these details.
14
Format of periodical sources:
Journals, magazines, newspapers
The format is different because the reader requires different
specific details in order to access the sources:
Name of article
- Periodicals generally contain several articles by
different authors
- Reference list must show which article you used
and the relevant page numbers
Additional publication details
- Volume numbers
- Issue numbers
The reader must be able to access your sources easily
15
Format of periodical sources
Periodicals: journals, magazines, newspapers
Hard copy periodicals
- stored on Level 2 of library
Electronic periodicals
- stored on-line in university databases
16
Detail required to access documents
Example:
Silverblatt, A. (2004). Media as a social institution.
American Behavioral Scientist, 48(1), 35-42.
Format of periodical sources: Hard copy
Title of journal (in italics)
Title of article (not in italics)
Issue
number
Volume
number
Page
numbers
Compare with non-periodical:
Mowen, J. C., & Minor, M. (1998). Consumer behavior
(5th ed.). Upper-Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
17
Electronic copy of a journal
article retrieved from a database
Most of the journal articles you access for your
assignments will be found in the University databases
You can find the publication details on the Citation link
for the article
View: Citation PDF Full Text Linked full text
Business Source Premier
PsycINFO
ERIC
18
Example
Preston, C. (2004, September). Childrens advertising: The
ethics of economic socialization. International Journal of
Consumer Studies, 28(4), 364-71. Retrieved February 17,
2006, from Business Source Premier database.
Task: Find the details above on the citation page for
this article in your notes
Electronic copy of a journal
article retrieved from a database
Follow the format appropriate to journal articles and add
the date of retrieval and the name of the database
4
19
Referencing a work discussed in a
secondary source
In-text reference: Name the original work and give a citation for the
secondary source
Reference list: Give the secondary source
In-text reference:
Kennedys study (as cited in Jackson, Keale, & Mirren,1993)
revealed that
Reference List:
Jackson, L., Keale, B., & Mirren, J. (1993). Models of controlled
reading. New York: Camden Press.
20
Referencing
Internet Sources
21
Why must you evaluate
web sites ?
Anybody can publish information on the Internet
Web sources dont have to be accepted or edited by
any professional body before publication
Web pages are used to market products and may
contain misleading information
Political groups and other interest groups use web
pages to spread information and publicise their
causes
Who created the site? How reliable is the
information?
22
Who created the site?
Youre looking for a credible Web site creator:
Is there an author? Is the page signed?
Is the author affiliated to a university or other educational
institution?
Is the author an expert? What else comes up when you
search under the authors name?
Are there contact details/links for the author?
Who sponsors the website?
23
How reliable is the information?
Does it show evidence of research using credible
sources?
Are there links to other reliable sites?
How current is the information?
Does it provide a list of sources?
Can you trace the sources?
As an example, were going to be referring to the website of the
New Zealand Retailers Association the NZRA, and specifically a page
entitled Retail Research and Statistics.
Statistics New Zealand
ACRS part of Purdue
University
Both articles - 2006
24
Referencing Internet Sources
Overall Guidelines
1. Direct readers as closely as possible to the information
being cited
- reference specific documents rather than home
pages or menu pages
2. Ensure that the addresses you reference are in working
order
- only way your reader can access the source
- check the address again just before you hand in
the assignment
5
25
End-of-text reference for an
internet source
Authors of document (where possible)
Publication date
Title or description of the document
Retrieval date
- Date when you retrieved the document from the internet
Internet Address: URL (uniform resource locator)
Albertson, J. (2006, January). The retail market in New Zealand: A
review. Retrieved January 18, 2007, from http://www.retail.org.nz/
downloads/The%20Retail%20Market%20In%20NZ%202006.doc
See Get It Right disc
26
Formatting the URL
If the URL goes to another line, break it after a slash or
before a full -stop
Dont allow your word processing program to insert a
hyphen at the break
Do not inset a full-stop at the end of the URL
Albertson, J. (2006, January). The retail market in New Zealand:
A review. Retrieved January 18, 2006, from http://www.retail.org.nz/
downloads/The%20Retail%20Market%20In%20NZ%202006.doc
27
In-Text Reference
In his statistical review of the New Zealand
retail industry, John Albertson, CEO of the New
Zealand Retailers Association, points out that
fluctuation in petrol prices in recent years has
had what he calls a distortionary impact on
total retail results (Albertson, 2006, p. 6).
28
Where can you go for help?
Get It Right Disc
APA ONLINE
http://www.apastyle.org
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/research/r_apa.html
APA PUBLICATION MANUAL
- make sure its the 5
th
Edition
- copies available in the library on campus
STUDENT LEARNING CENTRE
- pick up a brochure
- make an appointment to see us
- bring your sources/copies of sources with you
29
A few commonly required
references
Document available on university program or
department Web site
Documents available on government agency Web
sites
Daily newspaper article, electronic version available
by search
Document created by a pri vate organization,
available on organisation Web site
See Get It Right disc
30
Document available on university
program or department Web Site
If the document is part of a large Web site (e.g. a
university):
include the host organization
include the relevant program or department
precede the URL with a colon
Example:
Engle, M. (2005). Evaluating websites: Criteria and tools.
Retrieved February 17, 2006, from Cornell University,
Cornell University Library Web site: http://www.library.cornell.edu/
olinuris/ref/research/webeval.html
6
31
Documents available on
government agency Web sites
Agency as author
Ministry of Education. (2004, April 5). Worksafe at
schools Getting started. Retrieved July 18, 2004,
from http://www.minedu.govt.nz/index...
Author identified
Kerslake, J. (2001, October). Ministry of education
computer census 2001. Retrieved July 20, 2004,
from http://www.minedu.govt.nz/index...
Title of document in italics
Title of document in italics
32
Daily newspaper article, electronic
version available by search
Printed source:
Young, A. (2004, July 8). Entry rules eased for migrants.
The New Zealand Herald, p. A3.
Electronic version
Young, A. (2004, July 8). Entry rules eased for migrants.
The New Zealand Herald. Retrieved July 8, 2004,
from http://www.nzherald.co....
No page numbers
Retrieval date on bottom right-hand corner of the page
33
Document created by a private organization,
available on organisation Web site
End of text reference
Dark Bay Minerals, Inc. (2003). Its time to change our
physical landscape! Retrieved January 9, 2004,
from http://www.darkbay.ca/publication/landscape.doc
In-text reference
A local company recently made a commitment to renew
five sites to locations that can be enjoyed by the entire
community (Dark Bay Minerals Inc., 2003, para.3).
If there is no author listed, the organisation is listed as
the author of the document
34
What should I do when there
are details missing?
No author identified
- journal article
- book/report/brochure
The document is not dated
In-text references when there are no page
numbers
35
Internet journal article, no author
End-of-text reference
Look at student needs. (2004). Journal of Mental Health,
4 (3), 34-45. Retrieved May 10, 2004,
from http://www.tra.edu/mentalhealth/econcerns.doc
In-text reference
A lack of inexpensive accommodation remains one of the
biggest problems facing students (Look at student needs,
2004, para.5)
Article title in double inverted commas
If the author of the document is not identified,
begin the reference with the title of the document.
36
Stand-alone book, report or brochure,
no author
End-of text reference
Reading made easy. (2004). Retrieved April 4, 2004,
from http://www.adu.edu/glc/elearning
In-text reference
Students should vary their reading speeds to suit the
purpose of the reading task (Reading made easy, 2004,
para.3).
If the author of the document is not identified,
begin the reference with the title of the document.
Title in italics
7
37
What should I do if the document
is not dated?
End of text reference
Community Against Junk. (n.d.). Its time to
stop the spread! Retrieved January 9, 2004,
from http://www.bayhealth.org
In-text reference
A local organisation has identified three fast food outlets
that deliberately place flyers near designated play areas for
children (Community Against Junk, n.d., para.3).
Use the abbreviation n.d. to indicate that the document is
not dated
38
In-text references for electronic
sources with no page numbers
If the paragraphs in the document are numbered
(Smith, 2003, para. 5) OR (Smith, 2003, 5)
If there are no paragraph numbers
Include the heading of the section and the number of the
paragraph following it to direct the reader to the material:
(Smith, 2000, Conclusion section, para. 1)
Abbreviation of paragraph Symbol for paragraph
39
Citing New Zealand
Acts and Statutes
Please Note:
The following guidelines are adapted from the online
Guide to Style published by the New Zealand Ministry
for Culture and Heritage (details on the next slide).
The slides provide general guidelines only. Check
whether your department has specific guidelines for
referencing New Zealand Acts and Statutes.
40
Citing New Zealand Acts and
Statutes
APA Guidelines designed for US legislative system
Guidelines on referring to official NZ publications available
in the Guide to Style published by the Ministry for Culture
and Heritage:
http://www.mch.govt.nz/history/stylegui.html#Offpubs
Look under heading: Official publications
Reference format for Acts and Statutes different from that
used for books, periodicals and electronic sources
41
Citing New Zealand Statutes/Acts
Example:
Old-age Pensions Amendment Act 1908, s.13(5).
Provide the citation in parentheses (brackets) after the
statement that you are citing
Include the exact form of the short title at the
beginning of the published Act in New Zealand Statutes
(including exact punctuation used), followed by the date
Indicate the section to which you are referring
Note: Bills are cited in the same way but they are made up of
clauses rather than sections, so use the abbreviation cl. instead of s.
42
Citing New Zealand Statutes/Acts: Do you
include an entry in the reference list?
Example:
Building Act 2004. (2004). The statutes of New Zealand, 2004,
No 72.
Requirements vary on this issue:
- include in-text entry only
- include entry in reference list
- include entry in reference list in separate section
Check with your Department/Lecturer/Supervisor
If you are required to include an entry for an Act in the reference
list, make sure you know which format is required. One suggested
format is provided in the example below.
Note: The reference list entry for an Act does not include mention of
sections cited in the assignment. This information is included in the
in-text reference only.
8
43
Citing an Appendix to the Journals of the
House of Representatives
Cite the Appendix (not Appendices) in the form shown by the
example below.
The full name: Appendix to the House of Representatives is
provided only in your first reference to the Appendix. In subsequent
citations only the initials (AJHR) are used.
Note: It is useful to record that nature of the item, e.g. departmental
annual report, Royal Commission, etc. Provide this information at
the beginning of the reference.
Example:
First reference: Department of Labour annual report, Appendix to the
Journals of the House of Representatives (AJHR), 1950, H-11, p.13.
Subsequent reference: AJHR, 1950, H-11, p.13.
44
Citing the Parliamentary Debates
Cite the Parliamentary Debates in the form shown by
the example below
Example:
First reference: New Zealand Parliamentary Debates (NZPD),
1920, vol. 189, pp. 179-95.
Subsequent reference: NZPD, 1920, vol. 189, pp. 179-95.
Note: It is often useful for a specific reference to include
the date and speaker.
Example:
NZPD, 3 May 1920, vol. 189, p. 182 (Coates).
45
Library websites providing information
on referencing Acts/Statutes
http://library.manukau.ac.nz/pdfs/apa.pdf
http://library.ucol.ac.nz/~upload/Library%20Docu
ments/apa_referencing.pdf
http://www.waikato.ac.nz/library/learning/g_apag
uide.shtm#othe
46
References
Summers, J., & Smith, B. (2003). Communication skills handbook.
Milton, Australia: John Wiley & Sons Australia Ltd.
47
END
1
Editing
and
Proofreading
KatePritchard 2005
Why is Editing and
Proofreading Important?
When your writing has errors and gaps in
meaning, readers draw negative conclusions
about you as a writer, thinker, and person
Your readers will not think of you as the
intelligent, thoughtful, and careful person you
are
Errors and gaps in meaning detract from your
message; as a result, readers (and markers!) may
not hear your ideas or value your thoughts.
Lets Start with Editing
Editing deals with Content and Ideas
The Purpose of Editing is to tighten the
gaps in meaning so that your ideas are
translated as clearly as possible to the page
where your reader can interpret them.
Writing is a recursive process rather than linear
That means you loop back through the various stages
of the process as you write.
When to Edit?
Brainstormfor Ideas Draft
Edit Draft Draft Draft
Need to do more research Draft
Brainstormfor more ideasDraft Draft
Edit Draft Draft
In other words
You probably do some editing throughout the
drafting process, rather than dealing with it
only at the end of your writing task
Global and Local Organisation: Intro, Body,
Conclusion
Paragraphing
Sentence-level editing
The Rules of Editing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
EDITING AND PROOFREADING
2
How to Edit
Ask yourself questions at the end of every
sentence: What information does your reader
need?
Rule 1: Be Curious:
Ask Questions about Images
How many were there?
What did they look like?
What color?
What else was there?
What shape was it?
How was it arranged?
Ask Questions about Experiences:
What happened next?
What happened before this?
Why did this happen?
When was this?
Had this happened before?
What caused this?
What was the consequence of this?
Ask Questions about Ideas
How does this idea work?
Why do you say this?
Where did this idea come from?
What do the experts say about this idea?
How do you know this?
Whats the main point of this idea?
Whats an example of this idea?
Why is this idea important?
Practice
What questions can you ask at the end of
every sentence in this passage?
Clearly there have been significant changes in the social position
of women over the last three decades. The percentage of
womens to mens annual wages for full-time work has also
changed dramatically. Some would argue that such
achievements mask continued and pervasive gender inequalities.
Others suggest that the glass is, in fact, half full. Thus, the
inquiry into structural sexismcontinues to be important.
What questions did you ask?
What are the exact
percentages of change?
Clearly there have been significant
changes in the social position of
women
How have their social
positions changed?
The percentage of womens to
mens annual wageshas
changed dramatically.
Some would argue that such
achievements maskgender
inequalities.
Why do they think that?
Others suggest that the glass
ishalf full.
What do they mean by this?
Thus, the inquiry into
structural sexism
What is structural sexism?
3
Clearly there have been significant changes in the social
position of women over the last three decades. More women
have joined the workforce; more women are active leaders in
business, politics, and academia. To illustrate, in 1974, women
comprised 39% of the civilian labor force; by 2003, that
percentage had increased to 45.2% (Tilman, 2004). The
percentage of womens to mens annual wages for full-time work has
also changed, rising from 57.2% in 1974 to 72.6% in 1996. Some
would argue that such achievements mask continued and pervasive
gender inequalities. Lorber (1996), for example, states Others,
however, suggest that the glass is, in fact, half full, that we should
be satisfied with these increases as signs of progress. Thus, the
inquiry into structural sexism the ways in which the conventions
of a given culture perpetuate the subordination of individuals or
groups based on gender continues to be important.
How to Edit
Imagine the world of evidence: What
possible types of information could fill any
gaps in meaning?
Rule 2: Be Imaginative:
Facts
Authority
Research Findings
Statistics and Data
Personal Experience
Analogy
Clearly there have been significant changes in the social
position of women over the last three decades. More women
have joined the workforce; more women are active leaders in
business, politics, and academia. To illustrate, in 1974, women
comprised 39% of the civilian labor force; by 2003, that
percentage had increased to 45.2% (Tilman, 2004). The
percentage of womens to mens annual wages for full-time work has
also changed, rising from 57.2% in 1974 to 72.6% in 1996. Some
would argue that such achievements mask continued and pervasive
gender inequalities. Lorber (1996), for example, states Others,
however, suggest that the glass is, in fact, half full, that we should
be satisfied with these increases as signs of progress. Thus, the
inquiry into structural sexism the ways in which the conventions
of a given culture perpetuate the subordination of individuals or
groups based on gender continues to be important.
Practice
What kind of evidence would enrich this passage?
There is little doubt that gender role stereotypes exist. These
attitudes are numerous and particularly prevelant in the media.
Television is filled with instances of stereotyping in primetime
shows, news programs, childrens programming, soap operas,
and commercials. Print advertisements, music videos, greeting
cards, magazines, newspapers, and textbooks have all been
found to underrepresent women in status positions and offer
portrayals of both male and female in limited and stereotypical
roles. Even studies of comic strips yield similar conclusions. It
seems there is no getting away fromgender stereotyping.
Did you imagine evidence like this?
Is there a poll or study that showspeoples attitudes
about men and womens characteristics?
What have research studiesfound about:
primetime shows
news programs
childrens programming
soap operas
commercials
What do the experts say about gender roles on TV?
How often are stereotypical images offered on TV,
commercials, music videos, greeting cards, magazines,
newspaper
What research has been done on comic strips?
Once you Imagine the Evidence...
You need to go back to your notes to find it,
Or
Go back to the library to find it.
4
There is little doubt that gender role stereotypes exist. In a
2000 Gallup Poll, men were most often described as.
Women, on the other hand These attitudes are numerous and
particularly prevelant in the media. In a study about gender roles
on TV, Kubey & Shifflet (1995) report thatTelevision is filled
with instances of stereotyping in primetime shows, news programs,
childrens programming, soap operas, and commercials. Content
analyses of childrens TV advertising (Smith, 1994), for instance,
demonstrate thatPrint advertisements, music videos, greeting
cards, magazines, newspapers, and textbooks have all been found to
underrepresent women in status positions and offer portrayals of both
male and female in limited and stereotypical roles. Even studiesof
comic strips yield similar conclusions. In comic strips published in
1994, Small (1996) foundIt seems there is no getting away from
gender stereotyping.
How to Edit
Is this idea expressed as simply and
Avoid Fancy words
Add Secondary Elements carefully.
Avoid Fancy Words
Perambulate..walk
Utilise... use
Commencebegin
Ameliorateimprove
Peruseread
George Orwell said, Never use a long word where a short one will do.
Avoid Fancy-sounding Sentences
Certain product lines such as CDs that have not been
previously recorded upon are now unavailable with
this company, whilst potentially remaining available
from more mainstream suppliers.
In other words
Add Secondary Elements Carefully
Interrupters
Trailers
+
Secondary Elements
Sense of Completion
5
Main
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Who
Did what?
Introductory Phrase
the question is
Anything that comes before the Main Subject/Verb-Phrase
Notice the comma between intro phrase and subject/verb-phrase
Interrupters*
Anything that comes between the Subject and Verb-Phrase
The researcher
although it is rarely examined. demonstrating that
reinforcing the notion that.
although they are less prevalant that gives tenants the power to
Women were portrayed primarily as caregivers, This study has shown a high level of compliance
Trailers
Anything that comes after the Subject/Verb-Phrase
Subject Verb-Phrase
The committee decided upon a new policy The question is crucial,
Trailer
( =Complete Idea)
(Offers Additional Information)
Remember, you must have
Subject Verb-Phrase
Often, you can add a Trailer
Subject/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer.
6
Often, you can add an Intro Phrase
Often, you can add both
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Sometimes, you can add two
Intro Phrases:
Subject/Verb-Phrase.
Introductory Phrase +
In subsequent trials
that proved very successful,
Sometimes, you can add two or more
Trailers
Subject/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer
in subsequent trials.
to solve the problem,
+ Trailer.
which proved very successful
+ Trailer
Rarely, you might add an Interrupter
Its best to keep the Subject and Verb-Phrase close together.
Confusion happens
With sentences that combine too many elements:
Subj/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer + a 2
nd
Trailer + a 3
rd
Trailer
at the time.
7
Confusion happens
When the Subject/Verb-Phrase
arrives very late in the sentence:
rd
Confusion happens
With some sentences that have an interruption
between the Subject and Verb-Phrase
+ Interrupter + Subject Verb-Phrase.
His book, the man who hired me yesterday said, deals
with politics.
The man who hired me yesterday said that his book deals with politics.
Steps to Follow
if your sentence is too long or
complicated
extracted
ideas.
expression, like most social scientists of her day, Mead
believed expression was culturally determined, that we
simply use our face according to a set of learned social
conventions, a belief that grew from the emphasis on
motivation and cognition in academic psychology that
flourished at the time.
-- In the 1960s,
-- when little study was devoted to facial expression
In the 1960s, little study was devoted to facial
expression.
Like most social scientists of her day, Mead believed
expression was culturally determined.
-- like most social scientists of her day,
-- Mead believed expression was culturally determined,
8
In other words, she believed that we simply use our
face according to a set of learned social conventions.
-- that we simply use our face according to a set of
learned social conventions
-- a belief that grew from the emphasis on motivation
and cognition
-- in academic psychology
-- that flourished at the time.
This belief grew from the emphasis on motivation
and cognition in academic psychology that flourished
at the time.
In the 1960s when little study was devoted to facial expression,
like most social scientists of her day, Mead believed expression
was culturally determined, that we simply use our face according
to a set of learned social conventions, a belief that grew fromthe
emphasis on motivation and cognition in academic psychology that
In the 1960s, little study was devoted to facial expression.
Like most social scientists of her day, Mead believed expression
was culturally determined.
Practice...
How could you make this sentence simpler
and more straightforward?
Although they are less prevalent now than in the early
1960s when research in gender first found its way onto
university campuses and The Feminine Mystique by
Betty Friedan was published in 1965, officially
beginning what is called the second wave of the
womens movement, Matthews (2002) concludes that
gender stereotypes are still firmly embedded in most
Western cultures.
university campuses and The Feminine Mystique by Betty
Friedan was published in 1965, officially beginning what
is called the second wave of the womens movement,
Matthews (2002) concludes that gender stereotypes are
still firmly embedded in most Western cultures.
Did you make changes like this?
In the early 1960s, gender research was first finding
its way onto university campuses. By 1965, with the
publication of The Feminine Mystique by Betty
Friedan, the second wave of the womens
movement had officially begun. However, Matthews
(2002) concludes that gender stereotypes are still
firmly embedded in most Western cultures.
9
Or this?
Gender stereotypes are much less prevalent now
than in the early 1960s. At that time, research into
gender was just finding its way onto university
campuses, and in 1965, Betty Friedan published The
Feminine Mystique. These two events sparked what
is called the second wave of the womens
movement. However, Matthews (2002) concludes,
gender stereotypes are still firmly imbedded in most
Western cultures.
Remember
the Rules of Editing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
Proofreading deals with correctness
Grammar, punctuation, spelling,
typographical mistakes
In order to do a good job with proofreading,
you must separate this writing task from other
tasks, like drafting and editing
Dont worry about proofreading during your
drafting process.
Now, lets think about
Proofreading
To Proofread...
You will have to read through your essay or
report many, many times
Each time you read through, you should
focus on a single proofreading issue
Read your essay or report backwards,
sentence-by-sentence to isolate your
sentences from the context of your work
Read your work slowly and out loud.
Proofreading Issues:
Spelling
Grammar:
Punctuation:
Sentence Boundaries, Subject/Verb Agreement,
Verb Tense, Clarity
Commas, apostrophes, colons, semi-colons
Errors, missing words, typos
Sentence Boundaries
Is a sentence complete or a fragment?
Are two (or more) sentences running
together?
Are there too many secondary elements that
create confusion?
10
HINT:
Before every sentence, add I think that
and listen for a sense of completion of an
idea. I think that WHO? DID WHAT?
Practice:
Ekmanand Friesen created the Facial Action Coding
System, or FACS. Wrote them up in a 500 page
binder. It is full of details like the 8 possible
movements of the lips it also gives four different
changes of the skin between the eyes and the cheeks.
Researchers have used this information in many ways.
To study schizophrenia and heart disease.
Start here
X
X
X
Subject / Verb Agreement
Subject must agree in number with the verb form:
Plural subject has
s ending
no s ending
no --s ending
-s ending
HINT:
The teaching methods in Russia is different than in this
country. Most Russian students has to do a lot of
homework after school. The teachers pushes them hard
to get a good score. It force many students to give up
their free time.
Practice:
Start here
Identify every noun and pronoun
Check the related verb for agreement
No double-S No non-S.
Revised Version
The teaching methods in Russia are different
than in this country. Most Russian students have
to do a lot of homework after school. The
teachers push them hard to get a good score.
It forces many students to give up their free time.
Tense
The tense the time element of a verb
needs to be consistent throughout your writing.
Decide when you want your writing to take
place either yesterday, now, or tomorrow
Check all:
helping verbs (have, had, has)
YesterdayNowTomorrow?
People lost jobs, inflation had been rising, and
all the economic problems had been causing
social and political problems. Since there is
high inflation, employees cannot buy the same
things they buy the month before because
prices have been rising 3 times faster than
salaries.
Start here
11
Revised Version: Now
People are losing jobs, inflation is rising,
and all the economic problems are causing
social and political problems. Since there is
high inflation, employees cannot buy the
same things they bought the month before
because prices are rising 3 times faster than
salaries.
Pronoun Clarity
A common problem with pronouns is when
it is unclear what word the pronoun refers
to.
This is especially common when the referent
word is in a previous sentence.
misunderstandings.
HINT:
Use the Find and Replace function to
locate your pronouns, especially
another problem, it should be
reanalysed.
another problem, the entire problem-
solution process should be reanalysed.
?
Know this Rule:
A Commas function is
to separate sentence elements:
Items in a list
Secondary elements from the
subject/verb-phrase
Tag from a quotation
Two (or more) sentences joined with a
conjunction.
Commas
The store supplies biking supplies , outdoor
clothing , and camping equipment.
Although the store is open 9-5 Monday
through Friday, weekend hours are limited.
The store manager said, We want our
customers to be having fun on weekends.
The stores hours are 12-3 on Saturday , and
it is closed altogether on Sunday.
12
Apostrophes
Signal possession
Signal a contraction of words.
The researchershypothesiswas supported by the data.
(was not)
The hypothesis wasnt supported by the data.
The chairsfabric was faded and torn.
HINT
Does it need an apostrophe to signal possession?
(Check the following word)
Is the word a simple plural requiring no
apostrophe?
Check every word that ends in s
The chairs fabricwas faded and torn.
Practice:
Many chairs have this problem when placed in
sunny windows.
Spelling
Spell-Check is a good place to start, but it is not enough.
Spell-Check doesnt know homonym differences:
there / their / theyre; sight / cite / site; and others
Spell-Check cant tell you when youve made a typo that
still spells a word correctly:
take when you meant make,
hat when you meant hate,
he when you meant the
A simple missing word can also send your reader into a
complete state of confusion.
HINT:
Comb through your papers word-by-word
Read aloud and slowly
Read each word as it is printed on the page.
For Spelling and Missing Words:
Thank you
and Happy Writing.
KatePritchard
1
1
Student Learning Centre, Auckland
E-mail: V.Vanderham@massey.ac.nz
Phone: 414 0800 Ext. 9583
Literature Reviews:
An Introduction
2
What is a literature review?
Focuses on what has been researched
before on the topic
Highlights how your study will fill the
current research gap
(Davidson & Tolich, 1999, p. 94)
3
An examination of the key
research on a topic
The selection of available documents on the topic,
which contain ideas, data and evidence
The effective evaluation of these documents in relation
to [your research]
The synthesis of information into a coherent story of
knowledge on the topic
(Hart, 1998; Davidson & Tollich, 1999)
Involves:
4
Basically, the questions the literature review
seeks to answer are the following:
What have others said about this topic?
What theories address this topic?
What do those theories say?
Which policies address the topic? (If relevant)
What research has been done previously?
Do the results of the existing research agree with one
another, or is there disagreement?
Are there flaws in the existing literature?
(Davidson and Tollich, 1990, p. 94)
Which gap in the literature will your research fill?
5
Research history forms the
starting point for your research
All research has a history
It is this history that provides the
precedent for further work
It is what forms the starting point for your
research.
(Hart, 1998, p.175)
6
Demonstrating your understanding of the
history of the topic
What do we mean by the history of the topic?
The assumptions and definitions other researchers have
employed to study the topic
Why must you investigate this history?
In order to provide the story of how the topic was defined,
established and developed
(Hart, 1998, p. 173)
LITERATURE REVIEWS
2
7
Winston
2003
Nettle
2002c
Nettle
2002b
Nettle
2002a
Little &
Scott 2002
Engels
2001
Dickens
2000
Smart
1999
Johansen
1998
Frankens
1996
Solomon
1995
Bush &
Thomson
1995
Jones
1994
Smith &
Kettle
1992
Bleet
1992
Johnson
1991
McDonald
& Bundt
1990
Christians
1990
Fieldman
& Roberts
1989
Anders
1988
Jacqet
1988
Kevinstan
1985
Morgan &
Tuffin
1981
Billet &
Ouster
1980
Smith
1979
Natilene Bowker, Student Learning Centre, Massey University, Palmerston North 2005
8
Example topic: Developing natural treatments to replace
antiobiotic use in pig farming
Antibiotics are used to cure diseases in pigs and increase
performance. Their use, however, has come under attack by
consumers and political groups due to allergies and bacterial
resistance in pork consumers. Since antibiotics increase
performance, the ban [on antibiotics] would increase mortality and
reduce performance in pigs. To avoid a decrease in performance,
there is a need to develop natural treatments to replace antibiotic
use (Nkamba, 2006).
1. Antibiotic use in curing pig diseases
Studies supporting this
Increases pigs performance growth rate
However, concerns raised by consumers and political groups have
drawn attention to the problems of antibiotic use.
Adapted from: Natilene Bowker, Student Learning Centre, Massey University, Palmerston North 2005
9
2. Health problems with antibiotic use
Health - allergies, bacterial resistance in pork consumers
Political concerns
Banning antibiotics
3. Consequences of banning antibiotics
Mortality increase, reduced pig performance, growth rate
4. Developing natural treatments to replace antibiotics
Different treatments
Benefits
Disadvantages
End with closest resembling treatment to your study and / or technique
used in your study
All this justifies the validity & value of your research question.
10
The goal of the library search is [to] to assemble what
other researchers have said about your topic of interest
and to distil this into a coherent statement. This involves
a lot of reading, note-taking, paraphrasing of arguments,
summarising of the key findings, and extracting the most
critical quotes. What you come up with at the end of all
this should read much more like a short essay than
simply a jumble of disordered notes.
Davidson and Tolich (1999, p.94) introduce the literature
review as follows:
How is a literature review organised?
11
How is a literature review
organised?
by key themes or findings
arranged in headings and sub-headings
as an argument that flows
- information from various sources is
synthesised to form a coherent argument
12
2. Literature review
2.1. Introduction
2.1.1. Social consequences of obesity
2.2. Broader communication issues
2.2.1. Advertising
2.2.1.1. Advertising expenditure
2.2.1.2. Advertising style
2.3. Likel y causes of obesity
2.3.1. Obesity and genetics
2.3.2. Television watching, exercise and obesity
2.3.3. Lifestyles and eating choices
2.3.4. Advertising, children and obesity
2.3.4.1. Communication theory
2.3.4.2. Television content anal ysis
2.3.4.3. Television advertising and nutrition practices
2.4. Proposed public policy changes to reduce obesity
2.4.1. Fat/Sin taxes
2.4.2. Health education
2.4.3. Advertising restricitons
2.5. Summary of literature and research aims
Example: Literature Review in Thesis (Hawkins, 2003)
Arranged by key themes or findings
Arranged in headings and sub-headings
Logical grouping of
information from your
sources
To provide a coherent
argument about research on
your topic so far
Leading to your research
question
3
13
Extract from a literature review:
Literature review:
Arranged as an argument that flows
2.3. Likely causes of obesity
2.3.4 Advertising, children and obesity
The cause for concern lies in the fact that advertising targeting
children is a high growth area, as is childrens buying power (Eagle &
de Bruin, 2001). Marketers target this youth market, hoping to
establish early trends of brand loyalty and influence parents buying
decisions (Dobrow, 2002). Furthermore, whilst children may
influence their parents spending habits, advertisers recognise that
children also have their own money to spend (Strasburger, 2001)
(Source of extract: Hawkins, 2003, p. 23)
14
Do not confuse a literature review
with an annotated bibliography
Taumoefolau, M., Starks, D., Bell, A., & Davis, K. (2004). The role of
second language acquisition theory and practice in Pasifika
language maintenance in New Zealand. In Language Acquisition
Research: Papers presented at a Ministry of Education Forum
held in 2003. Wellington New Zealand: Ministry of Education Research
and Evaluation Unit.
The authors discuss a survey of community language use in Pasifika communities
in Manukau City. They conclude that there is evidence of language attrition a
reduction both in the use and the range of community languages. The authors then
summarise relevant theories of second language acquisition, focusing on the
crucial importance of comprehensible input. They then discuss how children in
Pasifika communities in New Zealand might obtain more comprehensible input in
the home and school. I intend to use the concept of comprehensible input to
evaluate materials available for parents who want to read stories in Tongan to their
pre-school children.
Extract from annotated bibliography:
15
What should you include in
the review?
Summary of existing knowledge on your
topic
Critical evaluation of this work
Some general and specific conclusions
about work done to date on the topic
(Hart, 1998, p. 186) 16
Summary of existing work on
your topic
How has the topic been studied?
What has been found?
Which issues have the different authors
highlighted as a result of their work?
How have the key terms or concepts been
defined or used?
(Hart, 1998, p. 186)
Make sure you synthesise information on existing work
17
What does it mean to synthesise the
information on existing knowledge?
Dont just list what the different researchers did and what
their findings were:
Identify issues highlighted in the research
- youre going to organise your literature review
around these, in line with the aims of your research
Highlight differences and similarities in findings across the
research
Identify areas of consensus among researchers
Your voice must guide the discussion
18
Summarising existing research on the topic for a literature review does not
involve simply writing a separate summary paragraph on each reading:
Research by Brown (2002)
Research by Smith (2003)
Research by Aitkens (2003)
Synthesise information on existing
research on your topic
Guide the discussion using your voice
Show the relationship between the studies
Show how the research is linked to your research project
4
19
(Adapted from Graduate School Website of Edith Cowan University)
Where is your voice here? What is the point youre
making about the topic in this paragraph? Which
issue does the research highlight?
Where is your voice here? What is the relationship
between Browns research and Smiths research?
between Aitkens research and that of Brown and of
Smith?
How are all these linked to your research question?
20
Literature Review (Extract)
Literature review:
Synthesising and critiquing existing knowledge on
your topic
Television advertising may influence childrens nutrition practices, particularly in regard to
food requests, purchases and consumption (see for example, Hutchings & Moynihan, 1998;
Kotz & Story, 1994; Borzekowski & Robinson, 2001). Story and Faulkner (1990) state that
television exposure may impact on actual eating behaviour [but that further research is
required to establish causal links]. Similarly, Kotz and Story (1994) note that television is
such a ubiquitous medium that it is difficult to measure its behavioural effects. Their report
concluded that it was not possible to prove that food advertisements aimed at children
cause poor eating habits. Whilst these and other such studies report a positive correlation
between television viewing and food requests, purchases and consumption, there is limited
conclusive evidence to support a direct cause and effect relationship between the
messages portrayed and the actual eating patterns of children.
21
Television advertising may influence childrens nutrition practices,
particularly in regard to food requests, purchases and consumption (see
for example, Hutchings & Moynihan, 1998; Kotz & Story, 1994;
Borzekowski & Robinson, 2001). Story and Faulkner (1990) state that
television exposure may impact on actual eating behaviour [but that
further research is required to establish causal links]. Similarly, Kotz and
Story (1994) note that television is such a ubiquitous medium that it is
difficult to measure its behavioural effects. Their report concluded that it
was not possible to prove that food advertisements aimed at children
cause poor eating habits. Whilst these and other such studies report a
positive correlation between television viewing and food requests,
purchases and consumption, there is limited conclusive evidence to
support a direct cause and effect relationship between the messages
portrayed and the actual eating patterns of children.
22
Compare and contrast different authors' views on an issue
Group authors who draw similar conclusions,
Criticise aspects of methodology,
Note areas in which authors are in disagreement,
Highlight exemplary studies,
Highlight gaps in research,
Show how your study relates to previous studies,
Show how your study relates to the literature in general,
Conclude by summarising what the literature says.
Synthesise information from
your sources
Caulley (1992) notes that a literature review should:
(as cited in The University of Melbourne, 2006, Getting started)
23
Paragraph Organisation
Identify areas of consensus: Hence, it seems that there is
agreement among researchers of the 80s regarding
Thomsons theory.
Identify areas of divergence: Much debate exists on the
issue ofTry to explain why.
Consider the need for summary paragraphs dispersed
throughout the review.
In summary, the evidence laid out demonstrates that
operating online does not challenge the online mediums
ability to. Rather, this literature supports a continuation
of. Consequently, people with disabilities may
experience social stigma online. However, alternative
ideas and findings suggest.
24
Critical evaluation of the
information
Deciding which literature is most pertinent to your review
Ability to point out strengths and weaknesses in previous
research in relation to your research topic
- moving beyond description of research to analysis
and evaluation
Using other writers critiques
5
25
Deciding which literature is most
pertinent to your review
The Library for: Undergraduates | Postgraduates | Extramurals | Staff
and Researchers | Visitors
university databases
use abstracts to help you in your search
use indexes in books
make an appointment with a librarian for a research
consultation
Library searching - Online and hard copies:
26
1. Articles in refereed,
international
journals
2. Books / Chapters in
Ed. Books
3. Articles in national,
refereed journals
4. Conference papers /
Research reports
(govt, com, org)
5. PhD thesis
6. MA thesis
7. Honours thesis
8. Websites / Articles
in non-refereed
journals
Prioritise Material Type
Check course requirements
Consult with your supervisor
27
What does it mean to critically
evaluate existing knowledge?
Move beyond description into analysis and critique
Smith and Jones (2004) analysed the content of advertisements
on New Zealand television during a one week period between
the hours of 3pm to 6pm, with the intention of examining the
nutritional quality of food in television food advertisements
targeted at children. They found that the majority of the food
advertisements analysed were for foods that were high in fat,
sugars and sodium.
Description only
28
Critical evaluation: How useful is the study
in relation to your research?
Smith and Jones (2004) analysed the content of advertisements
on New Zealand television during a two year period between the
hours of 3pm to 6pm each day, with the intention of examining
the nutritional quality of food in television food advertisements
targeted at children. They found that the majority of the food
advertisements analysed were for foods that were high in fat,
sugars and sodium. The study provides a basis for comparing
advertising patterns over time. However it does not include any
discussion of eating situations or eating behaviour as shown in
the advertisements.
Strengths and limitations in relation to your research
Youre constructing an argument about gaps in current knowledge
29
Critically analyse the text
What is the main idea the writer is putting forward?
- use abstracts and introductions to help you
What are the main points made to develop the idea?
- pick out the main elements of the argument in the text
What kind of evidence is provided to support the points?
What is the quality of this evidence?
Do you agree with the conclusion the writer comes to?
30
Critically analyse the text
Was the text written in response to another text?
What is the underlying theory?
Does it develop a previous model further?
Does it provide an entirely new model?
What are the strengths and weakness of the model
What are the strengths and limitations of the study
6
31
Methodological critique
Sample size
Randomized trials
Reliable control confounding variables
Validity
Lack of alternative methodologies used to
understand the issue.
32
Introducing other peoples criticisms
Manchester Universitys Academic Phrasebank offers
the following examples:
Many analysts now argue that the strategy of X has not been
successful. Jones (2003), for example, argues that...
Non-government agencies are also very critical of the new policies.
The X theory has been strongly challenged in recent years by a
number of writers.
Jones (2003) is probably the best known critic of the X theory.
Critics question the ability of post-structuralist theory to provide...
Jones (2003) is critical of the conclusions that Smith draws from his
findings.
(Manchester University, 2006, Introducing other peoples criticisms)
33
Some general and specific conclusions
about work done to date on the topic
General conclusions can be about the overall
direction of work on the topic in relation to earlier
more fundamental work.
Specific conclusions are about identifying
gaps, fallacies and failures in previous work in
order to show the legitimacy of your own
approach.
(Hart, 1998, p. 186)
34
In summary: Literature review...
Involves synthesising and critiquing existing
knowledge on your topic
A literature review tells the story of the literature
produced so far on the topic and justifies the need
for your own research
Organised by key themes or findings arranged in
headings and sub-headings as an argument that flows
35
Planning your review
Problem-awareness pattern
Cause and effect pattern
Possible solution pattern
(Hart, 1998)
Hart (1998) suggest three possible structures to help you
think about how to structure your review. Elements of
each may be useful to you in planning your review.
36
Problem-awareness pattern
Describe the nature of the problem:
- give examples of the problem showing its extent;
- offer evidence that the problem exists;
- develop a definition of the problem.
Show the relevance of the problem to the reader:
- provide specific evidence, argument of negative effects.
Explain the consequences if nothing is done or if the current
state continues
- provide evidence of effects/current practice;
- summarise the problem situation.
Outline the parameters of the problem (definitional argument)
Outline an approach (recommendations for tackling the
problem situation)
(Hart, 1998, p. 188)
7
37
Cause and Effect Pattern
Establish the existence of the problem (problem awareness):
- propose possible causes of the problem;
- show the main factors underpinning the proposed causes.
Clarify any confusing areas:
- eliminate any improbable, irrelevant causes/definitions;
- provide evidence for causes/definitions eliminated.
Focus attention on proposed cause/definition:
- provide evidence for proposed cause/definition
- summarise the argument.
Suggest course (recommendations) of action to deal with the
problem
(Hart, 1998, p. 188) 38
Possible Solution Pattern
Consider definitions and solutions already tried:
- give relevant examples of solutions tried;
- show why they failed or were inadequate;
- show factors causing failure;
- provide evidence of factors.
Consider possible alternatives:
- distinguish between alternatives;
- provide summary of possible effects of alternatives;
- make a choice from alternatives by elimination;
- provide evidence for elimination and choice.
Summarize the problem, solutions tried and why they failed and
give recommendations for alternative approaches
(Hart, 1998, p. 188)
39
Means
How you can achieve it?
Aim
What should you achieve?
Hart (1998, p.196) suggests five components for the introduction:
A clear and concise statement 1. To announce the topic of
your review
2. To state the purpose of
your review
A careful explanation of what
you aim to achieve
3. To explain the relevance of
the topic
An indication of its
importance in the literature
4. To establish your credibility
Information on why you should be seen as
competent to write about this topic
5. To preview the main points that
you will make in the main body of
the text
Advance notice of the structure
of your text, possibly including
your thesis statement
Introducing Your Review
40
Be clear about the purpose of
your review
Hart, 1998, p. 186
What are you trying to achieve with your review?
- clear aims in your introduction
The rest of the review should realise these aims
Keep going back to these aims
- helps you to control your research
- helps you to structure your review
- helps you to decide what to include
41
Writing definitions
See Manchester Universitys Academic Phrasebank for
examples of phrases to introduce definitions:
Referring to general meanings/applications of
meanings
Indicating difficulties in defining a term
Specifying terms that are to be used in your
thesis/research report/article
Referring to other peoples definitions
(Manchester University, 2006, Writing definitions)
42
Concluding your review
General and specific conclusions on the
topic in existing literature
All the aims of the literature review must
be addressed in the conclusion
8
43
Starting to Write
1. Organise your literature around topics /
themes you can write about.
2. Choose headings to define each topic
category & sub-categories.
3. At this stage, do not be concerned with
the overall picture of how topics will link.
4. Be concerned about covering all issues /
ideas / boundaries / relevant areas /
dimensions.
44
Referring to the research of
other writers
What do you include?
Citation and tense
Avoiding repetition
The language of critique
- verbs and adjectives used to situate critique
- indicating gaps in research
45
At a basic level for each individual piece of
research cover:
What the researcher did
What the researcher found
Implications for future work/your work
- Should also cover seminal works.
Moving beyond description
46
Micro-Level Tasks: Referring to
Others Work
A study by Smith (1998) showed that gender differences exist
online.
How?
Why?
Smith (1998) investigated the existence of gender
differences in chatroom participation. By measuring the
proportion of responses made by male and female
participants, taking into account the amount of time spent
accessing the chatroom, findings showed that males were
more likely than females to post messages (67% and 33%
respectively). This evidence supports the view
47
Features to include
Participants characteristics, criteria for inclusion
Sample size
Location of study
Type of study expt, interviews, survey
Nature of task what was done, details of tests used
Findings numerical, descriptive
How the findings relate to your research question
Reasoning
Based on the findings of Brown (1989) and Jones
(1997), Smith (1998) hypothesised that gender
differences are prevalent online.
48
Cover seminal work, leading theories, concepts in the area
For theories, try to refer to the original research, rather than a textbook
reference. Einsteins (1923) theory of relativity
Multiple authors
Use when your assertion is particularly important, or may be
questioned.
A plethora of literature exists about men and women masquerading as the
opposite gender online (Curtis, 1997; Dickel, 1995; Kendall, 1996; McRae,
1996, 1997; Reid, 1995, 1996a, 1996b; Turkle, 1995; Van Gelder, 1991;
Whitty, 2002).
Discernment in use of verbs
Just because an author suggests an idea, this does not
make it so.
Smith (1998) suggests that gender
differences exist online.
Suggest is not the same as demonstrate, conclude, argue
9
49
Citation and tense
Swales and Feak (1994) point out three main patterns:
1. Past researcher activity as agent
Jones (1987) investigated the causes of illiteracy.
The causes of illiteracy were investigated by Jones (1987).
2. Present perfect researcher activity not as agent
The causes of illiteracy have been widely investigated (Jones,1987;
Ferrara,1990; Hyon,1994).
There have been several investigations into the causes of illiteracy
(Jones,1987; Ferrara,1990; Hyon,1994).
3. Present no reference to researcher activity
The causes of illiteracy are complex (Jones,1987; Ferrara,1990;
Hyon,1994).
Illiteracy apears to have a complex set of causes (Jones,1987;
50
Citation and Tense
Compare:
Jones (1987) found that illiteracy was correlated
most closely with poverty.
Jones (1987) found that illiteracy is correlated most
closely with poverty.
(Swales & Feak, 1994)
51
Citation and Tense
The causes of illiteracy are complex (Jones,1987; Ferrara,1990; Hyon,1994).
Illiteracy apears to have a complex set of causes (Jones,1987; Ferrara,1990;
Hyon,1994).
Reference to single studies - past
Reference to areas of inquiry present perfect
Reference to areas of inquiry present perfect
52
Citation and Tense:
Situating your argument
Jones (1987) found that illiteracy was correlated
most closely with poverty.
Jones (1987) found that illiteracy is correlated most
closely with poverty.
Shows that the writer believes that the finding should be
understood within the context of a single study
The writer implies here that a wider generalisation is
possible
53
Avoiding Repetition
Refer to authors via their name, pronouns,
investigators, researchers
Brown (1999) conducted a study on gender
differences. She demonstrated how. Brown
concluded that/It was concluded thatSimilarly,
another researcher looked at
Instead of relying on the word research, also use
investigation, study, project, work
54
Situating Critique
However, previous research in this field has _________
a. concentrated on x.
b. disregarded x.
c. failed to consider x.
d. ignored x.
e. been limited to x.
f. misinterpreted x
g. neglected to consider x.
h. overestimated x.
i. overlooked x.
j. been restricted to x.
k. suffered from x.
l. underestimated x
How negative are the following verbs (a to l)?
Definitely or strongly negati ve?
Neutral or slightly negati ve?
10
55
Nevertheless, these attempts to establish a link
between secondary smoke and lung cancer are at
present ______________________
a. controversial e. questionable
b. incomplete f. unconvincing
c. inconclusive g. unsatisfactory
d. misguided
How negative are the following adjectives (a to g)?
Situating Critique
56
Indicating gaps
Strategies identified by Swales and Feak (1994):
Using negative subjects (openings)
Using contrastive statements
Raising a question, a hypothesis or
a need
57
Indicating gaps: Negative openings
However, little information
little attention
little work
little data
little research
However, few studies
few investigations
few researchers
few attempts
Useful alternative: Use a contrastive statement:
The research has tended to focus on..., rather than on...
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
58
Indicating gaps: Contrastive statements
However, much of the attention has been focused on X
rather than Y.
So far this method has been applied to X rather than Y.
The studies have concentrated on differences rather
than on similarities...
59
Indicating gaps: Raising questions,
hypotheses or needs
However, it remains unclear whether ...
It would thus be of interest to learn how...
If these results could be confirmed, they would provide
strong evidence for...
These findings suggest that this treatment might not be
so effective when applied to...
It would seem, therefore, that further investigations are
needed in order to...
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189) 60
Indicating gaps:
Contrastive statements
These studies have emphasised ...as opposed to...
Although considerable research has been devoted to...,
rather less attention has been paid to...
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
See also Manchester Universitys academic phrasebank:
http://www.phrasebank.man.ac.uk/sources.htm
11
61
Presenting information and analysis
Consult with your supervisor on appropriate formats
See Emerson & Hampton, Chapter 9
Examine other literature reviews
Create templates according to the requirements of your course
- presentation and referencing of texts, tables and diagrams
- in-text references to texts, tables and diagrams
A range of formats can be used:
Text
Tables
Diagrams
62
Record-keeping:
Filing and storing notes
Make sure you have easy access to your documents
- establish a clear filing system
- maintain the system
Keep detailed records of the source of the information
- store details in APA format
- note exact words vs summary
- note page numbers where necessary
63
References
Davidson, C., & Tolich, M. (2003). Social science research in New Zealand (2nd ed.).
Auckland, New Zealand: Pearson Education New Zealand Limited.
Emerson, L. & Hampton, J. (Eds.). (1996). Writing guidelines for applied science students.
Palmerston North, New Zealand: Dunmore Press.
Hart, C. (1998). Doing a literature review. London: Sage Publications.
Hawkins, J. (2003). A cross-cultural content analysis of the portrayal of food and nutrition, in
television advertising and programmes in New Zealand and Japan in 2002/2003.
Unpublished masters thesis, Massey University, Auckland, New Zealand.
Manchester University. (2006) Academic phrasebank. Retrieved May 22, 2006,
from http://www.phrasebank.man.ac.uk/index.htm
Swales, J.M., & Feak, C.B. (1994). Academic writing for graduate students.
Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press.
Sussex Language Institute. (n.d.). Critical analysis, argument and opinion.
Retrieved February 22, 2006, from Sussex University, Sussex Language
Institute website: http://www.sussex.ac.uk/languages/1-6-8-2-3.html
University of Melbourne. (2005). Conducting a literature review. Retrieved July 3, 2006,
from University of Melbourne, Library website:
http://www.lib.unimelb.edu.au/postgrad/litreview/gettingstarted.html
64
Help with literature review
Postgraduate Seminar: August 24
Notes from Postgraduate Seminars
Text on literature review:
Academic writing text:
Swales, J.M. & Feak, C.B. (1996). Academic writing for graduate
students. Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press.
Small group consultations at SLC
One-to-one consultations at SLC
65
http://www.services.unimelb.edu.au/llsu/resources/pg006.html
http://www.canberra.edu.au/studyskills/writing/litreview.html
http://www.unisanet.unisa.edu.au/Resources/research-
Education/research%20education/researchwrite/organising.htm#Conceptualising
http://www.clet.ait.ac.th/EL21LIT.HTM
http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/litrev.html
http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/ReviewofLiterature.html
http://www.uow.edu.au/research/rsc/files/thesis/litreview/WritingLitReview.pdf
A few links:
66
Links to Writing Resources
http://owl.english.purdue.edu (OWL) The Writing Lab at Purdue
http://web.uvic.ca/wguide/
http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/index.html
http://www.unisanet.unisa.edu.au/Resources/research-
Education/research%20education/researchwrite/acadwriting.htm
http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb.html
http://www.services.unimelb.edu.au/llsu/resources/writing.html
http://sites.uws.edu.au/learning/health/contents.htm
http://aerg.canberra.edu.au/pub/aerg/edulertz.htm
12
67
Links to writing resources
http://www.monash.edu.au/lls/sif/Tutorials/Grammar/Preamble_Tenses/
Tenses_menu/tenses_menu.html
http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/other4.html
http://www.services.unimelb.edu.au/llsu/resources/grammar.html
http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/reporting.html
http://www.tki.org.nz/r/esol/esolonline/index_e.php
http://english.unitecnology.ac.nz/resources/resources/exp_lang/phrases
.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/index.html
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/cill/grammar.htm
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/esltensverb.html
68
Recommended sources
Emerson, L. & Hampton, J. (Eds.). (2005). Writing guidelines for science
and applied science students (2
nd
ed.). Southbank, Victoria, Australia:
Thomson Dunmore Press.
Emerson, L. (Ed.). (2005) Writing guidelines for social science students (3
rd
ed.).
Southbank, Victoria, Australia: Thompson Dunmore Press.
Emerson, L. (Ed.) (2005). Writing guidelines for business students. (3
rd
ed.)
Southbank, Victoria, Australia: Thomson Dunmore Press.
Rountree, K. (1996). Writing by degrees. A practical guide to writing
theses and research papers. Auckland: Longman.
Swales, J.M., & Feak, C.B. (1994). Academic writing for graduate students.
1
Sarah Cowpertwait & Vanessa van der Ham
What do open book exams test? What do open book exams test?
Open Book exams:
Evaluated on understanding rather than
memory and recall
You need to use the resources at your fingertips
as evidence
Test your ability to think critically
You need to locate, interpret and apply the
information
Risk Homeostasis Risk Homeostasis
For example:
People with ABS brakes tend to drive faster or leave less
braking space because they feel safer!
For example:
People can feel that an open book exam means they do
not need to prepare or revise before an exam
Risk homeostasis = risk is reduced, we feel a
false sense of security and are over relaxed
Homeostasis in biology: Maintaining physiological equilibrium
Myths about open book exams Myths about open book exams
Myth No. 1: Open Book exams are a breeze
(University of New South Wales, n.d.)
Myth No. 2: You can just copy straight from the book!
You cant copy chunks of text directly from textbooks
Unfortunately this counts as plagiarism
You may need to reference
You need to know your resources really well
You have no time to look up everything
Preparation Preparation
What information do you need? What information do you need?
You need to understand key topics
You need to know and understand key terminology
You need to know which topics which will be
covered in the exam
You will need to use the open book only for finer
details
What topics are going to be covered?
Anticipate the Questions Anticipate the Questions
Terms, definitions or concepts that are commonly
used in your course
Topics which are mentioned frequently by lecturers
Topics which were noted in comments on your
assignments or on WebCT?
Use the course objectives
OPEN BOOK EXAMS
2
Content of exam topics covered
Format of exam types of questions
Timing in the exam how many questions
Multichoice
Short answer
Essay
Look at Past Papers as they can help with:
Look at Past Papers Look at Past Papers
Three previous years exam papers
Library phone: (09) 414 0800 ext 41071
Past Papers in the library Past Papers in the library
http://library.massey.ac.nz/findit/exampapers.htm
Carefully select the materials
you will need in the exam
Prepare concise notes on the concepts being tested
Gather key material in
readings and assignments
What resource materials will you need?
What resources do you need? What resources do you need?
Organise Course Material Organise Course Material
If you have a choice:
Focus on topics you like
Focus on topics you understand
Focus on topics you have done thoroughly
Dont revise topics which are unfamiliar
Divide your work into test/exam topics
Select one or two adult learning theories and
present a critical evaluation of them.
Adult education is integral to the democratic
struggle
(Brookfield, 1984, p. 190 cited in Heaney, 1996,
p.2)
Many adult educators have attempted to create
the ultimate and defining theory of adult
learning, yet all have been influenced by the
social and cultural situation surrounding them.
The definition of adult learning is thus very
complex. Heaney (1996) describes it as being as
difficult to define as a sketch by Escher and
Merriamand Caffarella (1991, p. 278) refer to
adult learning as a 'rich mosaic'.
The early 20th Century America and Europe was
an era of social change, pragmatismand
philosophy (Heaney, 1996) and emerging adult
learning theory reflected the times. John Dewey
(Cross-Durrant, 1981) said that 'all lifes
experiences and resources, frompre-school to old
age...could play a meaningful part in an
individual's education' (p.81). Eduard Lindeman
viewed adult education as an essential factor in
the creation of a democratic society and this view
reflected the spirit' of a time that inspired both
grass roots learning and social action, which is
illustrated in initiatives such as the work of
Myles Horton at Highlander, Moses Coady at St
Francis Xavier and Albert Mansbridge in Britain.
This critical literature reviewis an attempt to
build upon the theoretical debate of Mezirow's
transformative learning theory by investigating
what the empirical studies have to say about a
perspective transformation. The reviewfinds
much support for Mezirow's theory, but at the
same time suggests a need to reconceptualize the
process of a perspective transformation. The
reviewdiscloses a learning process that needs to
recognize to a greater degree the significant
influence of context, the varying nature of the
catalyst of the process, the minimization of the
role of critical reflection and increased role of
other ways of knowing and relationships, and an
overall broadening of the definitional outcome of
a perspective transformation. Research needs to
continue, particularly in the areas of cultural
diversity, the fostering of transformative learning
in the classroom, and the nature of and
relationship between critical reflection and other
ways of knowing. Designs of research including
other methods beyond interviews, such as
observations and content analysis in an ongoing
educational context, would also be valuable.
Since 1978, the theory of transformative learning,
as defined by Jack Mezirow
Divide your work into test/exam topics
Label each section clearly
struggle
p.2)
Andragogy - Self directed learning
' Andragogy is not a panacea, but it is a systemof
ideas that can improve the quality of learning'
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
Around the middle of the 20th Century conditions
which generated the social movements of the
1920's in America and Britain were changing and
adult learning theory was becoming marginalised
by traditional institutionalised learning. Knowles
wrote that this was a time for discovery of a
possible alternative model. It was a model of self
directed learning which was labelled the
andragogical model, derived fromthe greek word
for adult, aner (Knowles, 1980). Andragony was
launched into 'a philosophy that was similar to it
and, therefore, quite receptive to it...andragogy
emerged at a time when the structures of society
were condusive to the philosophy underlying the
theory and ...its own structures reflected the
structures of wider society" (Jarvis, 1984, p.37
cited in Candy, 1991, p.213)
Candy (1991) suggests that, despite self-directed
learning dating back to the time of Socrates and
Plato, serious study of self direction especially
within adult education was initiated by Professor
Cyril Houle in his book 'The Inquiring Mind' in
1961. Houle outlining the motivation and progress
of twenty two independent adult learners said
that 'we do not need to explore every other age in
a tedious search for continuing learners
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
Dougiamas, M. (1998). Ajourney into
Constructivism.
http://www.dougiamas.com/writing/constructivis
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
During the past three months, I've been learning
about constructivismby reading scholarly texts,
discussing themwith my class and my friends,
journal keeping and personal reflection. Through
this interesting time, I feel my understanding has
grown considerably and have already proved
useful. I've constructed this text in an attempt to
demonstrate my current understandings of
constructivism, as well as the process by which
my knowledge developed.
I had some trouble with the self-referential
nature of the material. Since the subject is the
"meaning of meaning" at various levels, it's easy
to become confused and fall into a "black hole"
where text seems meaningless. Howcan I know
fromreading texts what authors think, and what
works? Howcan I realise my own understanding?
Howcan I communicate my understandings to
you?
Constructivism.
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
you?
struggle
p.2)
struggle
p.2)
Constructivism.
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
you?
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
struggle
p.2)
Constructivism.
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
you?
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
struggle
p.2)
Constructivism.
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
you?
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
Constructivism.
m.html
6/04/04
INTRODUCTION
you?
Topic 1 Topic 2 Topic 3 Topic 4
Divide each topic into small, manageable tasks
Andragogy. History, Meaning, Context, Function
The term'andragogy' has been used in different
times and countries with various connotations.
Nowadays there exists mainly three
understandings:
1. In many countries there is a growing
conception of 'andragogy' as the scholarly
approach to the learning of adults. In this
connotation andragogy is the science of
understanding and supporting lifelong and
lifewide education of adults.
2. Especially in the USA, 'andragogy' in the
tradition of MalcolmKnowles, labels a specific
theoretical and practical approach, based on a
humanistic conception of self-directed and
autonomous learners and teachers as facilitators
of learning.
Topic 3
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
for adult, aner (Knowles, 1980).
Andragony was launched into 'a philosophy that
was similar to it and, therefore, quite receptive to
it...andragogy emerged at a time when the
structures of society were condusive to the
philosophy underlying the theory and ...its own
structures reflected the structures of wider
society" (Jarvis, 1984, p.37 cited in Candy, 1991,
p.213)
In most circumstances, adults are not captive
learners and, if the learning situation does not
suit their needs and interests, they will simply
stop coming. In discussing adult education,
Knowles (1980, 1984) distinguished between
teacher-centered and learner-centered
instruction. He promoted the latter because it
viewed learners as mutual partners in the
learning endeavor (Merriamand Caffarella
1991). Known as the andragogical model, the use
of learner-centered instruction--which supports
addressing the needs and interests of learners--is
regularly championed in the literature as the
most effective way to teach adults.
Guidelines for Working with Adult Learners.
ERICDigest No. 154.
This digest was created by eric, the educational
resources information center. For more
information about eric, contact access eric 1-800-
let-eric
"The adults did not have to be there: if the class
was disagreeable, they could simply stop coming.
In teaching [adults], the customer, not the subject,
comes first and is always right, and the customer
is the learner." (Rogers 1989, p. 3)
"Adults vote with their feet," a favorite adage of
adult educators, is frequently used to describe a
characteristic of adult learners.
The first use of the term'andragogy' - as far as
we knowtoday - was found with the German high
school teacher Alexander Kapp in 1833. In a book
entitled 'Platon's Erziehungslehre' (Plato's
Educational Ideas) he describes the lifelong
necessity to learn. Starting with early childhood
he comes to page 241 (of 450) to adulthood with
the title 'Die Andragogik oder Bildung im
maennlichen Alter' (Andragogy or Education in
the man's Age - a replica can be found on
www.andragogy.net). In 60 pages he argues that
education, self-reflection, and educating the
character is the first value in human life.
understandings:
of learning.
ERICDigest No. 154.
let-eric
p.213)
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
Task 1 Task 2 Task 3 Task 4 Task 5 Task 6
3
Prioritise
understandings:
of learning.
Topic 3
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
p.213)
ERICDigest No. 154.
let-eric
Task 1 Task 2 Task 3 Task 4 Task 5 Task 6
Prioritisethe tasks that are to be studied each week
(knowles, 1984, p. 49)
Task 1
Task 4
p.213)
Task 2
1 2 3 4 5 6
Identified the topics that you need to study
for the test/exam
In summary, you have now
Organised your lecture notes and course
readings under topics
Divided them up into manageable tasks
You now need to establish a study routine
- Organisespecific revision time
- Prioritise
Establish a Study Routine Establish a Study Routine
How much time do you have each day?
How many weeks until the test/exam?
Create a series of weekly revision plans
Stick to your revision plan!
Be realistic about your time - set small tasks
Sunday
Saturday
Friday
Thursday
Wednesday
Tuesday
Priority Task List Monday
Weekly Revision Plan Weekly Revision Plan
What do you think
should be recorded
on your
Revision plan?
Five Five Smart Smart Keys To Goal Setting Keys To Goal Setting
Set Specific goals
Goals need to be Measurable
Goals should always be Achievable
Be Realistic in your goal setting
Be aware of your Timeframe
(Boyes, 2001)
- Have access to everything you need
- Comfortable temperature
- No distractions
Establish a Study Routine Establish a Study Routine
You have organised your time
You have a revision timetable
Establish a suitable working space
4
Is this a good
study space?
Organise Yourself: Save time Organise Yourself: Save time
Make your reference materials as user-friendly
as possible
Know the layout of your text books
Index ideas and concepts
Record important page numbers
Note chapter headings and subheadings
Familiarize yourself
Organise Yourself: Quick Retrieval Organise Yourself: Quick Retrieval
Develop a system of tabs/sticky notes
Some tricks
Colour code
Summarise key sections
Create flash cards of key concepts (sort
alphabetically)
Draw concept maps or mind maps
Use some kind of graphic organiser to help you take notes, and
learn for the exam.
Examples:
Google: Houghton Mifflin Company + graphic organizers
A
1 2 3
Topic C Topic B Topic A
Makes sure you know how the different Makes sure you know how the different
aspects of theory are related aspects of theory are related
Mind Maps
Learning
Brains
limbic system
Multiple
intelligence
Pace/level
Key Words
Learning
Dronezone boring
Groan zone- frustrating
External conditions
limbic system
Multipleintelligence
Groan zone
Dronezone
emotions
Lighting
Timeof day
Temperature
External Conditions
Revision Myths Revision Myths
Good revision is not:
General reading
Rote learning
Mnemonics
Good revision is:
Reading for understanding
Summarising information
Being critical & making links
Practicing answers
It is not true that you are only working if it is hurting
Revision time is not time to catch up on all the reading
Use Active Revision Strategies Use Active Revision Strategies
5
Retrieval of information Retrieval of information
Like all skills it requires practice
Passing exams is a skill
practice
and more practice !
Techniques Techniques In In the Exam the Exam
Analyse the question Analyse the question
Read the question 2-3 times
Identify the task words - (What have you been asked to do?)
Identify the topic (what is the question about?)
What is the focus (This is important for multichoice)
Break the question down into smaller tasks
You must understand the exam question
BEFORE you start writing
Summarise each topic as you
revise
Summarise into key concepts
Skimming for an general overview
Summarise down to key words
Read Once
Read Second Time
Read Third Time
Analysing the exam question Analysing the exam question
Discuss whether non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs
(e.g. aspirin) can precipitate asthma in sensitive individuals
Task
word/phrase?
What is the Topic? What is the Focus?
Describe the drugs which are used in the treatment of an
asthma attack
Speed Reading to Find Information Speed Reading to Find Information
Dont panic if you cant remember the
location of the information
Lapses in memory are completely normal in
stressful situations
Use speed reading techniques
- Scanning and Skimming
6
When you read closely you move your eyes from
left to right across the page, line by line.
Eye movements for scanning Eye movements for scanning
Change your eye movements to speed up your reading
When you skim and scan you can prevent yourself from slowing down by
using different eye movements than you would use to read closely. Instead
of moving your eyes from left to right along each line, choose one of the
following eye movement patterns to speed up your reading.
Eye movements for scanning Eye movements for scanning
How do I skim a text? How do I skim a text?
Read the title and subtitles
Examine illustrations, graph & table headings
Read the first and last sentence of each paragraph
Read the conclusion
Read the introduction
Assuming that you have the information
How do you tackle the multichoice questions?
1. Cover up the answer choices before you read the stem
2. Read the stem carefully
- watch for negative or qualifying words eg. always, never, sometimes
3. Answer the question in your head (before you look at the answer choices)
4. Read all of the choices
5. Identify the best response
Question 1 (1 point)
Pharmacology, defined as the study of the effects of chemical substances
on the function of living systems, was born as a science in:
a. late-18
th
century
b. mid-19
th
century
c. late-19
th
century
d. mid-18
th
century
Dont rush through the stem or first part of the question
Multi choice: The Most Important Rule Multi choice: The Most Important Rule
Question 1 (1 point)
Pharmacology, defined as the study of the effects of
chemical substances on the function of living systems, was
born as a science in:
a. late-18
th
century
b. mid-19
th
century
c. late-19
th
century
d. mid-18
th
century
Dont grab likely answers and stop reading!
Another Important Rule Another Important Rule
Read all of the choices
What if I don What if I don t know the answer? t know the answer?
1. Cross out answer choices that you know are wrong.
2. Skip the question. It only counts one mark and should
not take up extra time.
3. If you have time, come back to the question.
- you might have remembered something in answering
another question
- you might have misread the question the first time
4. Guess the answer only if the marker is not going to use
negative marking
7
True/False Questions True/False Questions
Read the question stem with even more care
Question 3
Biotechnology refers mainly to the use of recombinant
RNA technology for a wide variety of purposes, some
of which includes the manufacture of therapeutic
proteins, diagnostics, genotyping and production of
transgenic animals
False
True
Multi-Choice Questions
Multi Choice questions can be tricky
The obvious answer isnt always right!
Choose the answer that most closely resembles
yours
Eliminate answers that are obviously wrong
If two answers say the same thing they are
often incorrect
1. Which was the first building to be built on the East
Precinct campus at Massey?
Example:
a) The gymnasium
e) The IIMS Building
c) The Quads
d) Quad A & Quad B
b) The Study Centre
1. a b c d e
Think of an
answer first!
Difficult Questions Difficult Questions
If 2 or three answers seem correct it is often
the all of the above answer which is right
If two answers are diametrically opposite
( e.g. black and white) one may well be right!
Take care with answers which use absolutes
(e.g. never) or (e.g. always)
Short Answer Questions Short Answer Questions
Make good use of time
(Landsberger, 2005)
Don't over-answer
Those that you dont need to check in your resources
Quickly review the number of questions
Note down how much time each could take.
First answer the questions you are confident about
Aim for concise, accurate, thoughtful answers that
are based in evidence.
What is expected of you? What is expected of you?
Exams do not measure
Exams do measure
How much you have practised doing exams
How well you understand the subject
How well you are going to do in later life
How virtuous you are
How intelligent you are
(Barnett, 2001)
8
Do a little bit of revision, often
Take regular breaks and reward yourself
http://www.cdtl.nus.edu/publications/obe/contents.htm
Fantastic site for open book exams
http://student-services.massey.ac.nz/default.asp?articleid=76
Landsberger, J. (2005, August 15 ). Study guides and strategies.
Retrieved September 12, 2005, from National University of Singapore,
http://www.studygs.net/index.htm
University of New South Wales. (n.d.). Open book and take home exams.
Retrieved September 12, 2005, from University of New South Wales, The
Learning Centre Web site: http://www.lc.unsw.edu.au/onlib/obe.html
References References
Barnett, R., & Coate, K. (2004). Engaging the curriculum in higher education.
Maidenhead, United Kingdom: Open University Press.
Boyes, K. 2001. Creating an effective learning environment. Upper-Hutt,
New Zealand: Spectrum Education.
1
Reports & Research Reports
Issues of Structure and Content
E-mail: V.Vanderham@massey.ac.nz
Phone: 414 0800 Ext. 9583
Difference between essay and report
General guidelines only
Title page
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusion
References
Appendices
Essay
Subtitles always required
New page for each section
Title page
Table of contents
Abstract
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
References
Appendices
Report
Check whether subtitles are
required
Report
Allows the lecturer to assess whether you can apply theoretical concepts
to a real-life situation.
Proceed from the theory: TheoryCaseTheoryCase
Case Studies
In a case study you are given a written description of an organisational
situation (either fictional or based on a real-life situation) and asked to
analyse the situation according to the theoretical principles taught in a
particular course or discipline.
Real-life Reports
At other times you will be asked to investigate a real situation (either
one that is given, or one that has to be found). Again, you will usually
need to focus on a practical problem, but interpret that problem using
the theoretical principles of a discipline.
(Emerson, 2000, p. 32)
How is a report structured?
Title page
Table of contents
Executive summary/Abstract
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
Reference List
Appendices
Sections can vary, depending on what type of report
is required and on individual course requirements
Note: Reports in Health Sciences
Title page
Abstract
Acknowledgements
Table of contents
Introduction
Discussion (including recommendations)
Conclusion
Appendices
Reference List
How is a report structured?
Title page
Table of contents
Executive summary/abstract
Introduction
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
Reference List
Appendices
Aims; objectives; main findings
Context; subject; specific objectives; scope;
assumptions & limitations; preview of structure
Analysis of problem/situation through application of
theory; largest and most important section
Key findings from Discussion; summarised & numbered
Course of action recommended
See Emerson (2000), Chapter five for discussion and
examples of each of these sections
REPORTS AND RESEARCH REPORTS
2
How is a Research Report structured?
Title page
Table of contents
Abstract
Introduction
Literature review
Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
Reference List
Appendices
Sections can vary, depending on what type of report is required and
on individual course requirements. Basic structure:
What is a research report?
Communicates the results of your research
Provides the concrete evidence of your research
Organisation and content requirements depend
on your intended audience:
Academic journals
Theses
Dissertations
(Emerson, 2000, p. 74)
Organisation and content
depend on intended audience
Research reports produced to meet university course
requirements
- generally require separate literature reviews
- often require bibliographies
Research articles prepared for publication in an
academic journal
- do not generally have separate literature reviews
or a bibliography
(Emerson, 2000, p. 74)
How is a research report structured?
Title page
Abstract
List of figures
List of tables
List of abbreviations
Table of contents
Introduction
Literature review
Method
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Reference List
Bibliography
Appendices
Structure will vary according
to task and course
requirements
Follow instructions from
lecturers and supervisors
Use these slides as a
general guide to structure
1. Title page
Usually contains:
The report title
The name of the person who commissioned the
report/for whom the report has been prepared
The name of the author of the report
The date of submission
Check on the requirements for your paper
(5 March 2005)
By: J P Brooks
Paper: 219.100
To: Prof. D Hunter
Title of report
Authors
name
To whom report is
addressed
Course number
Date of
submission
Example of a Title Page
A Practical EMG-based Human
Computer Interface for Users with
Motor Disabilities
3
How do you create a title?
It must reflect the major emphasis of your paper
It must prepare the reader for the content of the
report
- show the nature of the research
- introduce the topic of the research
It must conform to the requirements of your
course (or the journal to which you are
submitting your report)
It must not be presented as a question
Title Writing Guideline 1
If only a small number of variables are studied,
the title should name the variables
Example:
The Relationship Between Self-Esteem and Aggressiveness
Note: Title is not a complete sentence
Title does not end with a full-stop
Title is not presented as a question
(Adapted from Pyrczack & Bruce, 2005, p. 39)
Guideline 2
A title should indicate what was studied not the results
or conclusions of the study
Example:
The Most Prevalent Symptoms of HIV-Infected Women are
Severe Depression and Muscle Aches, Which Reduce the
Quality of Life
Improved version:
The Influence of Symptoms on Quality of Life Among HIV-
Infected Women
See Pyrczack and Bruce (2005, Chapter 5) for further guidelines on writing titles
(Adapted from Pyrczack & Bruce, 2005, p. 41)
2. Abstract
Introduces your subject matter
Tells your reader what was done in the research
Presents overview of results
Summarises the whole report
Generally done in one paragraph (of about 200 words)
Abstract
Introduces your subject matter
- why has the report been written?
What question/problem is it addressing?
Tells your reader what was done in the research
- what kind of study did you do?
Presents overview of results
- what were the main findings?
- what is the significance of the findings?
Can be read independently of the report
- do not refer the reader to the report for more information
Eg. The findings are identified in the report.
- tell the reader what the findings were
Summarises the whole report
Purpose: The reader must be able to get a good understanding of the
main points of the report without having to read the whole thing
Abstract
Half to one page summary of whole report, including:
the purpose of the report
the scope or breadth of the investigation
the methods used in the investigation
the major findings
the main conclusions
the major recommendations or the significance
(Deakin University, n.d. Executive summary/abstract)
4
Abstracts: Different requirements
An abstract of a research paper should state the problem being
researched, the methods, results and conclusions. If you are using a
quantitative method, it should also give details of such issues as
subject population, research design, test instruments, research
apparatus or data-gathering procedures as specifically as necessary
to reflect their importance in the study.
An abstract of a review or theoretical or qualitative
study should state the topics covered, the central thesis,
the sources used (e.g. personal observation, published
literature or previous research), and the conclusions you
have drawn.
(Emerson, 2000, p. 66)
Too general:
This report considers three energy sources and recommends the best
one.
Why is your finding significant?
(Engineering Communication Centre, 2002, Abstract or Summary)
Make your abstract specific and detailed
Best in which way?
How did you compare them?
What did you conclude from your comparison?
Which three sources?
Too general:
This report considers three energy sources and recommends the best one.
Specific and detailed;
This report compares nuclear plants, fossil fuels, and solar generators,
in order to determine which energy source will best meet the nation's
needs. The criteria for comparison were the economic, social, and
environmental effects of each alternative. The study concludes that
nuclear energy is the best of these options, because North America is
not self-sufficient in fossil fuels, and solar power is currently too
unreliable for industrial use. Although nuclear plants are potentially very
dangerous, nuclear energy is still the best short-term solution.
Make your abstract specific and detailed
(Engineering Communication Centre, 2002, Abstract or Summary)
See Pyrczack & Bruce (1980) for a detailed discussion on writing abstracts
Note: Abstracts in Health Sciences
Reports
Often require subheadings, particularly if research
is quantitative:
Aim
Background
Methods
Results
Conclusions
3. Table of Contents
Lists the contents of the report
Shows the reader how the report is
organised
Allows the reader to access information
easily
Make sure the page numbers in your Table of Contents
correspond with the page numbers in the report
4. Introduction
Pyrczack and Bruce (1994, p. 33) describe the purpose of an
introduction as follows:
The purpose of an introduction in an empirical research report
is to introduce the problem area, establish its importance, and
indicate the authors perspective on the problem. Introductions
usually conclude with an explicit statement of the research
hypotheses, purposes or questions to be answered by the study.
In a journal article, the introduction is almost always integrated
with the literature review into a single essay. In theses and
dissertations, it is common to have the first chapter present the
introduction and the second one present the literature review.
5
Movement from general topic to
your specific research area
Description of broad topic
Narrowing
focus
Research hypotheses,
purposes or questions
What do you include in the Introduction?
Why you have undertaken the study and written the report
The assumptions which were made in the study
Definitions of relevant terms used in the report
The scope of the investigation, i.e. what is covered and
what is not
The methods used (often included in a separate
methodology section)
The theories which form the context for this study (often
included in a separate literature review section)
The limitations inherent in the study
An outline of the structure of the report
(Deakin University, n.d. Introduction)
Review of what has been written on your topic
What have others said about this topic?
What theories address this topic?
What do those theories say?
What research has been done previously?
Do the results of the existing research agree with one
another, or is there disagreement?
Are there flaws in the existing literature?
(Adapted from Davidson & Tolich, 1999, p.94)
5. Literature review
Literature Review
Involves synthesising and critiquing existing
knowledge on your topic
A literature review tells the story of the literature
produced so far on the topic and justifies the need
for your own research
Organised by key themes or findings arranged in
headings and sub-headings as an argument that flows
See sample extract on next slide
particularly in regard to food requests, purchases and consumption (see
for example, Hutchings & Moynihan, 1998; Kotz & Story, 1994;
Your voice must guide the review
Smith?
How are all these linked to your research question?
6
Postgraduate Seminar: See Albany SLC Postgraduate Support page:
http://student-services.massey.ac.nz/massey/students/student-services/
slc/albany/postgraduate.cfm
Notes from Postgraduate Seminars: V.Vanderham@massey.ac.nz
Online Seminar - Crafting the Literature Review:
http://owll.massey.ac.nz/workshops.html
Notes from the Student Learning Centre (Study Centre, Ground Floor)
Useful text on literature review:
Hart, C. 1998. Doing a literature review. London: Sage Publications.
Small group consultations at SLC: V.Vanderham@massey.ac.nz
One-to-one consultations: Phone Geraldine: 414 0800 Ext. 9143
Make sure youre attached to Gradlink for announcements about
further support classes. See last page of these notes
http://www.services.unimelb.edu.au/llsu/resources/pg006.html
http://www.canberra.edu.au/studyskills/writing/litreview.html
http://www.unisanet.unisa.edu.au/Resources/research-Education/
research%20education/ researchwrite/ organising.htm#Conceptualising
http://www.clet.ait.ac.th/EL21LIT.HTM
http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/litrev.html
http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/ReviewofLiterature.html
A few links:
6. Methodology
Describes the procedure you followed in your
investigation
Important section because it provides details that
others can use to replicate your study
In analytical reports, like business reports, this might
include a description of survey methods, participants, focus
groups and use of secondary sources
In scientific reports it might include a description of
participants, materials, equipment, design and procedure.
(Deakin University, n.d., Methodology)
Methodology
Must be clear and specific:
- another researcher should be able to replicate the
research you performed by following the procedures
outlined in this section
- look at other research reports in your field to see how
detailed you have to be
(Deakin University, n.d., Methodology)
Example: Methodology sections of reports in the Health Sciences feature
very extensive details on the ethical aspects of the study and how
these were addressed.
What is included in the
Method Section?
Pyrczak and Bruce (1998, p. 63) identify the following components:
1. A description of the physical steps taken to gather the data
- description of the individuals involved (eg. school children)
or the objects studied (eg. text books)
2. A description of the instrumentation (i.e. measuring tools) and
any additional procedures
Guidelines for Writing
Method Sections
The guidelines in the next five slides are adapted from
Writing Empirical Research Reports by Pyrczak and
Bruce (1998). This text provides guidelines on writing
each section of an empirical research report and features
useful examples throughout. In the following slides, the
guidelines are followed by page numbers for examples in
the 1998 edition of the book and also the latest edition of
the book, dated 2005. See the References at the end of
this presentation for details.
7
Guidelines for Writing
Method Sections
Guideline 1:
Determine how you need to refer to individuals studied
in your project
subjects?
participants?
respondents?
examinees?
(Adapted from Pyrzcak & Bruce, 1998, p. 63)
Guidelines for Writing Method Sections
Guideline 2:
Describe your informed consent procedures if any, as well as steps
taken to maintain confidentiality
For examples, see Pyrzcak and Bruce (1998, pp. 63-64) and Pyrzcack
and Bruce (2005, p. 86)
Guideline 3:
The participants should be described in enough detail for the reader
to visualise them: for example, age, ethnicity, place of residence
(eg. urban residents) and income.
For examples, see Pyrzcak and Bruce (1998, p. 65) and Pyrzcack and
Bruce (2005, pp. 86-87)
(Adapted from Pyrzcak & Bruce, 1998, pp. 66-67)
Guideline 5:
A population should be named, and if only a sample was studied, the
method of sampling should be described
(Adapted from Pyrzcak & Bruce, 1998, pp. 67)
Guideline 6:
If there was attrition, state the number who dropped out, the reasons for
attrition, if known, and information on the drop-outs, if available.
Bruce (2005, p. 89)
Bruce (2005, pp. 90-91)
Note: Make sure you acknowledge any weaknesses in the sampling
Guideline 7:
Unpublished instruments should be described in detail.
Guideline 8:
If a published instrument was used, briefly describe the traits that it
was designed to measure, its format, and the possible range of score
values. Note: Ask your supervisor for advice on what to include here.
For examples, see Pyrzcak and Bruce (1998, pp. 68-69) and Pyrzcack
and Bruce (2005, pp. 91-92).
Bruce (2005, p. 92).
Guideline 8:
For both unpublished and published instruments, information on
reliability (consistency of results) and validity (whether the instrument
measures what it is designed to measure), when available, should be
reported. NOTE: Ask your supervisor how much detail you need here.
For examples, see Pyrzcak and Bruce (1998, pp. 69 -70) and
Pyrzcack and Bruce (2005, pp. 92-93).
Guideline 9:
Experimental procedures, equipment, and other mechanical matters
should be described in sufficient detail so that the study can be replicated.
For examples, see Pyrzcak and Bruce (1998, pp. 69 -70) and
Pyrzcack and Bruce (2005, pp. 93-94).
7. Results
Presents a factual outline of what was found in
the study
Raw data should not be included in this section.
If raw data have to be included, these should be
presented in an Appendix. Often a statement is
included which describes how the raw data
were processed into summary data, e.g.
Survey responses were analysed using SPSS.
(Deakin University, n.d., Results)
8
Results
Presents a factual outline of what was found in the study
Summary data are generally presented in the form of tables
or graphs, which must have titles.
It is important that you do not leave it to the reader to
interpret your data.
Explanations of tables and figures must be included,
e.g. Table 3 shows the proportion of first year students
who attended Open Day.
(Deakin University, n.d., Results)
Should you include any commentary in your results section?
See Swales and Feak (1994), pp. 170-172 for comments on this issue
Guidelines for Tables in APA referencing manual
(American Psychological Association, 2001, pp 136-176).
Tabular versus textual presentation (pp. 147 -149)
Discussing and citing tables in text (pp. 154 -155)
Table numbers (p.155)
Table titles (pp. 155-156)
Headings in tables (pp. 156-159)
Body of a table (pp. 156-160)
Presenting data in specific types of tables (pp. 160-169)
- Sample ANOVA table (p. 162)
- Sample regression table (p. 163)
- Sample LISREL table (pp. 164-165)
- Sample model comparison table (pp. 166-167)
- Sample word table (p. 168 169)
Notes to a table (pp. 170-173)
Tables from another source (p. 174)
NOTE: CHECK THE STYLE GUIDE FOR YOUR OWN COLLEGE!
The table example featured in the next two slides is
taken from the APA referencing manual (American
Psychological Association, 2001, p. 152)
MAKE SURE YOU CONSULT THE STYLE GUIDE FOR
YOUR COLLEGE FOR SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS ON
FORMATTING YOUR TABLES AND FIGURES
Table 1
Recognition Memory for Words and Nonwords as a Function of
Age and Viewing Condition
Viewing
condition Adults
a
Children
b
Difference
Words
Dim
Bright
Moderate
91
61
63
45
73 18
25
16
Nonwords
Dim
Moderate
Bright
78
88
65
80
58
62
51
20
3
29
Note. The values represent mean percentages of correctly recognised words
or nonwords.
a
Adults were 18-21 years old.
b
Children were 12-14 years old.
Table 1
Recognition Memory for Words and Nonwords as a Function of
Age and Viewing Condition
Viewing
condition Adults
a
Children
b
Difference
Words
Dim
Bright
Moderate
91
61
63
45
73 18
25
16
Nonwords
Dim
Moderate
Bright
78
88
65
80
58
62
51
20
3
29
Note. The values represent mean percentages of correctly recognised words
or nonwords.
a
Adults were 18-21 years old.
b
Children were 12-14 years old.
Number tables as they occur in text;
Capitalise first letter
Table title in italics
Indication of specific notes to Table featured below
General note to table (refers to whole table)
Describing statistics in tables
Do not simply repeat information presented in the table
Introduce the table: As Table 1 shows...
Highlight the main findings for the reader
Present the findings in coherent paragraphs
- logical grouping of information
- text that flows
Your description must supplement the information in the table
9
Example:
4.1.3. Foods featured in New Zealand advertising and
during each New Zealand programme type
As Table 3 shows, the greatest number of food advertisements
were for bread, cereals and grains (21.2% of all advertised foods),
followed by beverages (19.7%). Fast food (18.2%) and snacks,
sweets and desserts (16.8%) , comprised a relatively large
proportion of advertising, whilst all other food groups featured
considerably less. All food groups featured in advertising.
During drama programmes three categories comprised 85% of all
food occurrences: meat, fish and poultry; beverages; snacks,
sweets and desserts (28.6% for each of these food groups). A
further 14.2% of food occurrences in drama programmes were
bread, cereals and grains. There were no occurrences of fruit and
vegetables, dairy products, microwave meals, fast food or
miscellaneous food portrayed in drama programmes.
(Source of extract: Hawkins, 2003, pp. 56-57)
Describing statistics in tables
Example
As Table 3 shows, the greatest number of food advertisements were
for bread, cereals and grains (21.2% of all advertised foods), followed
by beverages (19.7%). Fast food (18.2%) and snacks, sweets and
desserts (16.8%) , comprised a relatively large proportion of
advertising, whilst all other food groups featured considerably less.
All food groups featured in advertising.
During drama programmes three categories comprised 85% of all
food occurrences: meat, fish and poultry; beverages; snacks, sweets
and desserts (28.6% for each of these food groups). A further 14.2%
of food occurrences in drama programmes were bread, cereals and
grains. There were no occurrences of fruit and vegetables, dairy
products, microwave meals, fast food or miscellaneous food portrayed
in drama programmes.
Refer to the table, using the correct number &
the present tense
Use simple past tense for findings
Source of extract:: Hawkins, 2003, pp. 56-57
Language of comparison
Presenting figures
According to the APA referencing manual, any type of illustration other
than a table is called a figure (American Psychological Association,
2001, p. 178). Guidelines are provided:
Deciding to use figures (p.176)
Standards for figures, (p. 177)
Types of figures (pp. 177 - 179)
Figure examples (pp. 180 -186)
Overall size and proportion (p. 188)
Preparation of figures (pp.188 -196)
Using photographs (pp.197 198)
Identifying and Citing Figures (pp. 198 199)
Figure legends and captions (pp. 199-200)
Identifying and citing figures
The title of a figure is placed below the figure
Number figures with arabic numerals (Figure 1; Figure 2)
Number them in the order in which they are presented
Referring to figures in your text:
Example:
... as shown in Figure 5, the distances travelled are...
The distances travelled are...(see Figure 5).
The table examples featured in the next two slides are taken from the APA
referencing manual (American Psychological Association, 2001, p.182 & p.185)
Duration
T1
Subjective
Stress
T1
Effectiveness
T1
Depression
T1
Subjective
Stress
T2
Effectiveness
T2
Depression
T2
.00
-
0
.
4
-
.
2
1
-
.
0
3
-
.
2
1
-
.
4
5
-
.
4
3
.
4
6
.
0
8
-
.

0
1
.
0
2
.5
3
-.05
-. 31
.
2
1
.
1
7
Z
2
.70
..
R
2
= .54
.01
.14
.55
-.25
Z
3
.69
..
Z
1
.82
..
-.10
Figure 1. Initial path-analytic model: Influence of care-giving duration, subjective
caregiving stress, and subjective caregiving effectiveness on changes in depression.
Sample chart (path model)
Duration
T1
Subjective
Stress
T1
Effectiveness
T1
Depression
T1
Subjective
Stress
T2
Effectiveness
T2
Depression
T2
.00
-
0
.
4
-
.
2
1
-
.
0
3
-
.
2
1
-
.
4
5
-
.
4
3
.
4
6
.
0
8
-
.

0
1
.
0
2
.5
3
-.05
-. 31
.
2
1
.
1
7
Z
2
.70
..
R
2
= .54
.01
.14
.55
-.25
Z
3
.69
..
Z
1
.82
..
-.10
Figure 1. Initial path-analytic model: Influence of care-giving duration, subjective
caregiving stress, and subjective caregiving effectiveness on changes in depression.
Note: If your research involves human participants, make sure you follow
the appropriate approval procedure. See http://humanethics.massey.ac.nz/
10
Sample bar graph
0
1
2
3
Acoustic Light & Acoustic
Test Condition
Figure 2. Mean amplitude startle response (+SE) for prelesion (n = 4), sham lesion (n=
2), and postlesion (n = 2) groups in acoustic and light-and-acoustic test conditions
Prelesion
Shamlesion
Postlesion
S
t
a
r
t
l
e

a
m
p
l
i
t
u
d
e

(
m
V
)
8. Discussion
Support (or otherwise) that the results provide for your research
hypothesis/hypotheses; or
Achievement of your research purposes; or
Answers obtained to your research questions
(Adapted from Deakin University, n.d., Discussion)
Comparison of your results with other investigations and/or literature
- go back to your Literature Review
Factors which may have influenced your results
- e.g. design problems
Implications of the results
Include discussion on the following elements:
The extract below is from the Introduction section of a research
report in Burton, 2002, p. 94. The three slides that follow this one
provide an extract from the Discussion section of the same report.
The present study aimed to determine whether same-sex friends are
more similar than same-sex strangers in their attitudes and preferred
recreational activities. From the research examined, it was anticipated
that irrespective of gender, similarity of both attitudes and activities
influences friendship development. It was hypothesised that same
sex friends would show more similar attitudes to the environment,
abortion, multiculturalism, and law and order than would same-sex
strangers. It was also hypothesised that same-sex friends would be
more similar than same-sex strangers in the active, passive, social
and creative activities they preferred.
Now look at the Discussion section on the next three slides
Example
As anticipated, males and females paired with either friends or dyads who
reported similar attitudes and preferred activities. This finding supports the
results of Werner and Parmlee (1979) and Kandel (1978) where same-sex
friends were sampled. The results provide partial support for the hypothesis
that friends would have more similar attitudes than strangers. Results
indicate that friends were more similar than strangers in their attitudes
towards abortion and law and order issues, but no more similar in their
attitude towards multicultural or environmental issues. Values might have
influenced participants responses to the attitude survey items. The four
categories touch on topics that could be considered controversial in present
day society. As a result, those topics might evoke strong emotional
responses from participants who feel quite strongly about them.
For example, 69% of participants in this study hold Christian beliefs. For
those people, abortion issues may have a higher value than environmental
or cultural issues...
Example cont: Same discussion section
The results did not support the hypothesis that friends would be more
similar than strangers in the active, passive, social and creative activities
they preferred. These findings differ from those of previous studies (e.g.
Kandel, 1978; Werner & Palmer, 1979), in which activity similarity was
reported to be higher between friends than between strangers. This could
be attributed to the types of activity items used in the present survey. The
12 activity items were very general (e.g., Listening to music), which most
people are likely to enjoy to some extent. There were no survey items
relating to more specific, uncommon, or deviant activities. Further
research could incorporate more specific items (e.g. playing tennis and
knitting), less common activities (e.g., hang gliding...and rock collecting),
or more deviant activities (e.g. legal or illegal drug use), to determine
whether they would exert a stronger influence on friendship development
than the more subdued activities used in this study.
Example cont: Same discussion section
Overall, the results of the study suggest that people do not have to be
similar in all of their attitudes and preferred activities to become friends. It
may be that similarity of attitudes associated with strongly held values is
important in friendship development, but those that are less value-laden
may not be as important. Further research could include a measure of
values, consider the friendship duration, and cover more diverse
activities to clarify the role of similarity in friendship.
(Source of example: Burton, 2002, pp. 96-97)
Note: Overall conclusion is sometimes presented in a
separate Conclusions section
Overall conclusion in present tense
11
9. Conclusions
Summary of your study:
the overall purpose
the steps in the process
the overall findings
This should lead to the Recommendations,
if your report requires these
(Deakin University, n.d., Conclusion)
10. Recommendations
If the purpose of the report is to suggest actions
that should be taken, these should be listed
here, usually numbered in a logical sequence.
Make sure the recommendations are clearly
connected to the rest of your report
Make sure you know whether you are required
to use an inductive or a deductive format. In a
deductive report the recommendations follow the
executive summary.
(Deakin University, n.d., Recommendations)
11. References
Use the referencing system specified in
your Study Guide
The Reference List features only those
sources that you have referred to in the
report
Make sure that both in-text and end-of-text
references are correctly formatted
12. Appendices
This is where to place extra information, raw data, etc.
Such information is removed from the main body of the
report so that it does not interrupt the flow of the report.
Appendices need to be labelled:
- eg. Appendix A; Appendix B, etc.
- label according to the specifications of your course
The appendices need to be referred to in the main report
(Deakin University, n.d., Appendices)
Eg. Refer to Appendix A for a detailed description of
Who is your audience?
Your marker
Other people who are knowledgeable in the field
Any intelligent person must be able to read and
follow your report
Think about:
Clarity
Organisation
Content
American Psychological Association. (2001). Publication manual of the
American Psychological Association (5
th
ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
Burton, L.J. (2002). An interactive approach to writing essays and research
reports in psychology. Sydney, Australia: John Wiley & Sons.
Deakin University. (n.d.) Report writing. Retrieved May 4, 2006,
from the Deakin University Website: http://www.deakin.edu.au/
studentlife/academic-skills/undergraduate/handouts/report.php#what
Engineering Communication Centre. (2002). Short reports. Retrieved May 4,
2006, from The University of Toronto Web site:
http://www.ecf.utoronto.ca/~writing/handbook-shrtrept.html
Hawkins, J. (2003). A cross-cultural content analysis of the portrayal of food
and nutrition, in television advertising and programmes in New Zealand
and Japan in 2002/2003. Unpublished masters thesis, Massey
University, Auckland, New Zealand.
References
12
References (cont.)
Pyrczack, F., & Bruce, R. (1998). Writing empirical research reports (2nd ed.).
Los Angeles, CA: Pyrczack Publishing.
Pyrczack, F., & Bruce, R. (2005). Writing empirical research reports (5th ed.).
Los Angeles, CA: Pyrczack Publishing.
Swales, J.M. & Feak, C.B. (1994). Academic writing for graduate students.
Help with reports
Course Study Guide
Emerson, L. (2005) Writing Guidelines series
- Reports
- Research reports
Wednesday Support Classes
- see programme on Albany Student Learning Centre website
Notes from Wednesday Support Classes
- see website above
Small group consultations
Individual consultations
Help with report format
http://www.ecf.toronto.edu/~writing/handbook.html
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Skills/pack/report.html
http://writing2.richmond.edu/training/project/biology/biology
.html
http://staff.psy.gla.ac.uk/~paul/tutorials/report/info.htm
http://www.writing.eng.vt.edu/workbooks/reports.html
(Engineering and Science)
Useful links:
GRADLINK
Follow the steps below to link your email address to this free e-mailing
service so that the Student Learning Centre can send you news about
support seminars and workshops:
Send an email to majordomo@massey.ac.nz
Leave the subject line blank
Type the message subscribe gradlink
There must be nothing else in the message box,
not even your name
Click send
If you have any problems linking your e-mail address to GRADLINK,
please contact Vanessa on 414 0800 Ext. 9583
1
KatePritchard
Academic Writing
Structuring Sentences
KatePritchard
Constructing sentences
Ask yourself: Is this idea expressed as simply and
Avoid Fancy words
One idea per sentence
Add secondary information carefully
Rule # 1: Be straightforward
KatePritchard
Avoid Fancy-sounding
Sentences
Certain product lines such as CDs that have not
been previously recorded upon are now
unavailable with this company, whilst potentially
remaining available from more mainstream
suppliers.
In other words
KatePritchard
Add Secondary Elements
Carefully
Introductory
Phrases
Interrupters
Trailers
+
Secondary Elements
KatePritchard
Sense of Completion
KatePritchard
Main
Subject/Verb-Phrase
Who
Did what?
STRUCTURING SENTENCES
2
KatePritchard
Introductory Phrase
the question is
Anything that comes before the Main Subject/Verb-Phrase
Notice the comma between intro phrase and subject/verb-phrase
KatePritchard
Interrupters*
Anything that comes between the Subject and Verb-
Phrase
The researcher
KatePritchard
although they are less prevalent
Trailers
Anything that comes after the Subject/Verb-Phrase
Verb-Phrase
Trailer
(Offers Additional Information)
KatePritchard
Remember, you must have
Subject Verb-Phrase
KatePritchard
Often, you can add a Trailer
Subject/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer.
KatePritchard
Often, you can add an Intro
Phrase
3
KatePritchard
Often, you can add both
Subject/Verb-Phrase
KatePritchard
Sometimes, you can add
two Intro Phrases:
Subject/Verb-Phrase.
In subsequent trials
that proved very successful,
KatePritchard
Sometimes, you can add two
or more Trailers
Subject/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer
in subsequent trials.
to solve the problem,
+ Trailer.
which proved very successful
+ Trailer
KatePritchard
Rarely, you might add an
Interrupter
Its best to keep the Subject and Verb-Phrase close together.
KatePritchard
Confusion happens
With sentences that combine too many elements:
Subj/Verb-Phrase
+ Trailer + a 2
nd
Trailer + a 3
rd
Trailer
at the time.
KatePritchard
Confusion happens
When the Subject/Verb-Phrase
arrives very late in the sentence:
rd
4
KatePritchard
Confusion happens
With some sentences that have an
interruption between the Subject and Verb-
Phrase
+ Interrupter + Subject Verb-Phrase.
His book, the man who hired me yesterday said, deals
with politics.
The man who hired me yesterday said that his book deals with politics.
KatePritchard
Steps to Follow
if your sentence is too long or
complicated
extracted
ideas.
KatePritchard
expression, like most social scientists of her day,
Mead believed expression was culturally determined,
that we simply use our face according to a set of
learned social conventions, a belief that grew from
the emphasis on motivation and cognition in
academic psychology that flourished at the time.
KatePritchard
-- In the 1960s,
-- when little study was devoted to facial expression

In the 1960s, little study was devoted to facial
expression.
KatePritchard
Like most social scientists of her day, Mead
believed expression was culturally determined.
-- like most social scientists of her day,
-- Mead believed expression was culturally determined,
KatePritchard
In other words, she believed that we simply use
our face according to a set of learned social
conventions.
-- that we simply use our face according to a set of
learned social conventions
5
KatePritchard
-- a belief that grew from the emphasis on motivation
and cognition
-- in academic psychology
-- that flourished at the time.
This belief grew from the emphasis on motivation
and cognition in academic psychology that flourished
at the time.
KatePritchard
expression, like most social scientists of her day, Mead
believed expression was culturally determined, that we
simply use our face according to a set of learned social
conventions, a belief that grew from the emphasis on
motivation and cognition in academic psychology that
In the 1960s, little study was devoted to facial expression.
Like most social scientists of her day, Mead believed expression
was culturally determined.
KatePritchard
Practice...
How could you make this sentence
simpler and more straightforward?
university campuses and The Feminine Mystique by
Betty Friedan was published in 1965, officially
beginning what is called the second wave of the
womens movement, Matthews (2002) concludes that
gender stereotypes are still firmly embedded in most
Western cultures.
KatePritchard
Although they are less prevalent now than in the
early 1960s when research in gender first found its
way onto university campuses and The Feminine
Mystique by Betty Friedan was published in 1965,
officially beginning what is called the second wave
of the womens movement, Matthews (2002)
concludes that gender stereotypes are still firmly
embedded in most Western cultures.
KatePritchard
Did you make changes like this?
In the early 1960s, gender research was first
finding its way onto university campuses. By
1965, with the publication of The Feminine
Mystique by Betty Friedan, the second wave of
the womens movement had officially begun.
However, Matthews (2002) concludes that
gender stereotypes are still firmly embedded in
most Western cultures.
KatePritchard
Or this?
Gender stereotypes are much less prevalent
now than in the early 1960s. At that time,
research into gender was just finding its way
onto university campuses, and in 1965, Betty
Friedan published The Feminine Mystique.
These two events sparked what is called the
second wave of the womens movement.
However, Matthews (2002) concludes, gender
stereotypes are still firmly imbedded in most
Western cultures.
6
KatePritchard
Remember
the Rules of Editing:
Rule 1: Be Curious
KatePritchard
Proofreading deals with correctness
Grammar, punctuation, spelling,
typographical mistakes
In order to do a good job with
proofreading, you must separate this
writing task from other tasks, like drafting
and editing
Dont worry about proofreading during
your drafting process.
Now, lets think about
Proofreading
KatePritchard
To Proofread...
You will have to read through your
essay or report many, many times
Each time you read through, you should
focus on a single proofreading issue
Read your essay or report backwards,
sentence-by-sentence to isolate your
sentences from the context of your work
Read your work slowly and out loud.
KatePritchard
Proofreading Issues:
Spelling
Grammar:
Punctuation:
Sentence Boundaries, Subject/Verb Agreement,
Verb Tense, Clarity
Commas, apostrophes, colons, semi-colons
Errors, missing words, typos
KatePritchard
Sentence Boundaries
Is a sentence complete or a fragment?
Are two (or more) sentences running
together?
Are there too many secondary elements that
create confusion?
KatePritchard
Subject / Verb Agreement
Subject must agree in number with the verb form:
Plural subject has
s ending
no s ending
no --s ending
-s ending
7
KatePritchard
HINT:
The teaching methods in Russia is different than in
this country. Most Russian students has to do a lot
of homework after school. The teachers pushes
them hard to get a good score. This force many
students to give up their free time.
Practice:
Start here
Identify every noun and pronoun
Check the related verb for agreement
No double-S No non-S.
KatePritchard
Revised Version
The teaching methods in Russia are different
than in this country. Most Russian students
have to do a lot of homework after school.
The teachers push them hard to get a good
score. This forces many students to give up
their free time.
KatePritchard
Tense
The tense the time element of a verb
needs to be consistent throughout your
writing.
Decide when you want your writing to
take place either yesterday, now, or
tomorrow
Check all:
helping verbs (have, had, has)
KatePritchard
YesterdayNow
Tomorrow?
People lost jobs, inflation had been rising,
and all the economic problems had been
causing social and political problems.
Since there is high inflation, employees
cannot buy the same things they buy the
month before because prices have been
rising 3 times faster than salaries.
Start here
KatePritchard
Revised Version: Now
People are losing jobs, inflation is rising,
and all the economic problems are
causing social and political problems.
Since there is high inflation, employees
cannot buy the same things they bought
the month before because prices are
rising 3 times faster than salaries.
KatePritchard
Pronoun Clarity
A common problem with pronouns is when
it is unclear what word the pronoun refers
to.
This is especially common when the
referent word is in a previous sentence.
misunderstandings.
8
KatePritchard
HINT:
Use the Find and Replace function to
locate your pronouns, especially
KatePritchard
causes another problem, it should
be reanalysed.
causes another problem, the entire
problem-solution process should be
reanalysed.
?
KatePritchard
Know this Rule:
A Commas function is
to separate sentence elements:
Items in a list
Secondary elements from the
subject/verb-phrase
Tag from a quotation
Two (or more) sentences joined with a
conjunction.
KatePritchard
Commas
The store supplies biking supplies , outdoor
clothing , and camping equipment.
Although the store is open 9-5 Monday through
Friday, weekend hours are limited.
The store manager said, We want our
customers to be having fun on weekends.
The stores hours are 12-3 on Saturday , and it
is closed altogether on Sunday.
KatePritchard
Apostrophes
Signal possession
Signal a contraction of words.
The researchershypothesiswas supported by the data.
(was not)
The hypothesis wasnt supported by the data.
KatePritchard
The chairsfabric was faded and torn.
HINT
Does it need an apostrophe to signal possession?
(Check the following word)
Is the word a simple plural requiring no apostrophe?
Check every word that ends in s
The chairs fabricwas faded and torn.
Practice:
Many chairs have this problem when placed in
sunny windows.
Compare:
9
KatePritchard
Spelling
Spell-Check is a good place to start, but it is not enough.
Spell-Check doesnt know homonym differences: there /
their / theyre; sight / cite / site; and others
Spell-Check cant tell you when youve made a typo that still
spells a word correctly: take when you meant make,
hat when you meant hate, he when you meant the
A simple missing word can also send your reader into a
complete state of confusion.
KatePritchard
HINT:
Comb through your papers word-by-word
Read aloud and slowly
Read each word as it is printed on the page.
For Spelling and Missing Words:
KatePritchard
Thank you
and Happy Writing.
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1
Using & Acknowledging
Sources
2
Using and acknowledging
your sources
Accessing sources of theory
Reading critically
Summary & quotation
- when and how much should you quote?
- techniques for summary
- language structures for referring to sources
- establishing your own voice in your writing
- synthesising information from sources
APA Referencing
Workshop on avoiding plagiarism: Tuesday, 20 March 5-7pm in QB2
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Sources of Theory at University
Prescribed
Text(s)
Lectures
Readings in Course
Handbook/On Reserve
Recommended
books
Journal articles
Printed copies in library
University databases
Chapters of books
Journal articles
Can be starting point for
understanding and referring
to theory
Desk Copy in library
Other academic
books
Use KEA catalogue
Reports
Conference papers
Eg. NZ Statistics
University websites
Databases
PhD Theses
Library
4
Finding journal articles in the
Use lecture notes and readings in your handbook to
gather key terms to be used in your database search
Find more key terms in the journal articles as
you read
Use links provided on the citation page for the article
Use the abstract of the article on the citation page
- to assess whether content is relevant
- to get an overview of the content before you start
reading the article
5
Read critically in preparation for
critical analysis in your assignments
Engage actively in processing material you read (and hear)
Asking questions
Relating theory to practice
Stating an argument and supporting it with evidence
Finding connections
Making comparisons
Evaluating
Identifying problems and solutions
(Deakin University, n.d., How do we think critically?)
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How do you include theory in
your assignments?
You can use other writers ideas and data by:
Quoting
Summarising Using ideas from other writers written
in your own words
Using ideas from other writers written in their
words (very limited use 5% of assignment)
When you use another writers ideas/information
you must always acknowledge the writer as the
source, including when you ve written the idea in
your own words.
USING ACADEMIC SOURCES
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Quotation
The EXACT wording from the original source
Either from speech or a written source
Quoted words are encased in quotation marks
Used sparingly, like a strong spice!
- when you over-quote, your voice does not
come through in your writing
- gives the impression that you dont
understand the content
Your voice must guide your writing: youre making
the points and using theory to back up what you say
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Main ideas in definitions are often quoted
Inkson and Kolb (2002) define organisations as formal entities in which a
complex interaction of people, materials, and money is used for the creation
and distribution of goods and services (p.7). They point out that the work of
managers is not confined to organisations aimed at the production and
supply of goods and services for profit; it also takes place in organisations
owned and run by the government or state, such as universities and schools.
Organisations are formal entities in which a complex interaction of people,
materials, and money is used for the creation and distribution of goods
and services. The organisations in which managers work include not only
the familiar business organisations involved in manufacture, retailing,
wholesaling, the supply of services, etc. for profit, but also government
owned organisations , State-Owned enterprises and the like for
example, schools, universities, hospitals and government departments.
Quoting sources: using the exact words of the author
Signal phrase Page number
Extract from Inkson and Kolb (2002), p.7:
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Explain the rest of the definition in your own words
Example:
Inkson and Kolb (2002) define organisations as formal entities in which a
complex interaction of people, materials, and money is used for the creation
and distribution of goods and services (p.7). They point out that the work of
managers is not confined to organisations aimed at the production and
supply of goods and services for profit; it also takes place in organisations
owned and run by the government or state, such as universities and
schools.
Extract from Inkson and Kolb, page 7.
Organisations are formal entities in which a complex interaction of people,
materials, and money is used for the creation and distribution of goods and
services. The organisations in which managers work include not only the familiar
business organisations involved in manufacture, retailing, wholesaling, the supply
of services, etc. for profit, but also government owned organisations , State-
Owned enterprises and the like for example, schools, universities, hospitals and
government departments.
Summarising sources: Using the authors ideas and your own
words and own sentence structure
Signal phrase
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Summarised material must be...
Accurate: Report what the author means
Objecti ve: Stay neutral
Acknowledged: Give credit to the original
source
Translated: Use your own words and your own
sentence structure
Dont plagiarise!
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Using theory from your sources
Socialisation refers to the process by which individuals acquire the
knowledge, skills and dispositions that enable them to participate as
members of society (Mowen & Minor, 1998, p. 534). From a consumer
behaviour perspective, socialisation refers to how people acquire skills,
knowledge and attitudes that enable them to function as consumers in the
marketplace (Assael, 1998, p. 22). Cowell (2001) discusses four main
consumer socialising agents in the lives of children, namely parents,
schools, peers and television. He points out that because of its wide
reach, television can influence much behaviour, both positively and
negatively (p. 76). Preston (2004) points out, for example, that the
advertising used on television helps children to acquire the tools of social
interaction (p. 365). On the other hand, Silverblatt (2004) argues that the
explicit sexual and violent content of programs in mass media systems
such as television can exert a strongly negative influence on the public.
(Adapted from Summers & Smith, 2003)
Student voice introducing quotation Source of quoted material
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Using theory from your sources
Include appropriate author signal phrases:
Cowell (2001) discusses four main consumer socialising agents in
the lives of children, namely parents, schools, peers and television.
He points out that because of its wide reach, television can influence
much behaviour, both positively and negatively (p.76).
Which writer makes the point/provides the information?
What kind of information is provided?
- what is the writer doing in the text?
Signal phrases
3
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Providing clear author signals
What is the writer doing in the text youre summarising or quoting?
Defining a concept?
Showing a cause and effect(s)?`
Providing an example?
Explaining why something happens?
Explaining how something happens?
Comparing or contrasting things?
J ones (2003) defines poverty as
J ones (2003) identifies fivecauses of..
J ones (2003) uses theexampleof
J ones (2003) explains that
According to J ones (2003), theprocess begins with
J ones (2003) contrasts this kind of situation with
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Use clear author signals
Distinguish your ideas from a sources
ideas
Give credit to the original source
Avoid plagiarism
They help you to:
Kate Pritchard, 2004
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How to Summarise
Read the original text carefully
Mark-up the text
- identify the central idea and main supporting points
- identify what the writer is doing in the main & supporting
points
Explain the idea out loud: How would you say it?
Write the idea using your words and your sentence structure
Check for accuracy with the original source
Acknowledge the original source
Check: Does this sound like me?
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The message is likely to be altered by distortions
Distortions, also known as noise or barriers, are anything that obstructs
or changes the message and thereby misleads a receiver. Distortions
can be physical, such as rattles from an old assembly line drowning out
conversations held beside it, static on a poor telephone connection, or
low quality sound systems distorting announcements at an airport.
They can also be psychological, and this kind of distortion usually
refers to problems at the encoding and decoding stages. A listener may
be half-thinking of some other topic. Someone trying to read a book may
be hungry, tired, thinking of tomorrows work, yesterdays love affair or
the Christmas vacation. When a public speaker uses a large number of
ums or ahs, or displays a poor vocabulary ir distracting physical
mannerisms, any of these may constitute noise and create distortions in
the perceived message.
Identify main and supporting points
Identify what the writer is doing in the text
(Text adapted from Sligo et al., 2000, pp. 28-29)
Example:
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Distortions, also known as noise or barriers, are anything
that obstructs or changes the message and thereby misleads
a receiver. Distortions can be physical, such as rattles from
an old assembly line drowning out conversations held beside
it, static on a poor telephone connection, or low quality sound
systems distorting announcements at an airport.
They can also be psychological, and this kind of distortion
usually refers to problems at the encoding and decoding
stages. A listener may be half-thinking of some other topic.
Someone trying to read a book may be hungry, tired, thinking
of tomorrows work, yesterdays love affair or the Christmas
vacation. When a public speaker uses a large number of
ums or ahs, or displays a poor vocabulary or distracting
physical mannerisms, any of these may constitute noise and
create distortions in the perceived message.
Main idea
Definition
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Distortions, also known as noise or barriers, are anything that
obstructs or changes the message and thereby misleads a
receiver. Distortions can be physical, such as rattles from an old
assembly line drowning out conversations held beside it, static
on a poor telephone connection, or low quality sound systems
distorting announcements at an airport.
usually refers to problems at the encoding and decoding stages.
A listener may be half-thinking of some other topic. Someone
trying to read a book may be hungry, tired, thinking of
tomorrows work, yesterdays love affair or the Christmas
vacation. When a public speaker uses a large number of ums or
ahs, or displays a poor vocabulary or distracting physical
mannerisms, any of these may constitute noise and create
distortions in the perceived message.
Main idea
Supporting
idea 1
+
Details
Examples
4
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Distortions, also known as noise or barriers, are anything that
obstructs or changes the message and thereby misleads a
receiver. Distortions can be physical, such as rattles from
an old assembly line drowning out conversations held beside
it, static on a poor telephone connection, or low quality sound
systems distorting announcements at an airport.
usually refers to problems at the encoding and decoding
stages. A listener may be half-thinking of some other topic.
Someone trying to read a book may be hungry, tired, thinking
of tomorrows work, yesterdays love affair or the Christmas
vacation. When a public speaker uses a large number of ums
or ahs, or displays a poor vocabulary or distracting physical
mannerisms, any of these may constitute noise and create
distortions in the perceived message.
Main idea
Supporting
idea 1
+
Details
Supporting
idea 2
+
Details
Summary
20
Distortions, also known as noise or barriers, are anything that obstructs or changes the
message and thereby misleads a receiver. Distortions can be physical, such as rattles
from an old assembly line drowning out conversations held beside it, static on a poor telephone
connection, or low quality sound systems distorting announcements at an airport.
They can also be psychological, and this kind of distortion usually refers to problems
at the encoding and decoding stages. A listener may be half-thinking of some other topic.
Someone trying to read a book may be hungry, tired, thinking of tomorrows work, yesterdays
love affair or the Christmas vacation. When a public speaker uses a large number of ums or
ahs, or displays a poor vocabulary or distracting physical mannerisms, any of these may
constitute noise and create distortions in the perceived message.
Sligo et al. (2000) define distortions as anything that obstructs
or changes the message and thereby misleads a receiver (p. 28).
They distinguish between physical distortions, such as those
created by poor quality public sound systems, and psychological
distortions such as hunger or anxiety which may distract the
receiver and obstruct the message (pp. 28-29).
Author signals
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The cheapest and most effective solution to the problem of heart
disease is for people to start taking more responsibility for
maintaining their own health. They can do this by developing
healthier eating habits, by taking more exercise, by reducing stress
in their lives and by avoiding activities like smoking that increase the
risk of heart attack.
Pakenham (1998) argues that lifestyle changes provide
the most effective means of solving the problem of heart
disease. He advocates changes to dietary and exercise
habits, a reduction in stress levels
What is the writer doing in the text?
Extract from: Pakenham, 1998, p. 13:
22
Language structures for
referring to sources
Choosing appropriate verbs
Verb structures for referring to sources
23
Choose appropriate verbs
Jones (1992) defines system failure as
Jones distinguishes betweenand goes on to argue that
Smith (1998) attributes the failure of the system to
Smith argues that
In addition, Smith points out that
Smith (1998) lists several possible consequences
Jones et al. (2003) report that in recent years
They cite the example of
Jones et al. suggest that the problem has its origins in
They conclude that the solution may be found in
What is the writer doing in the text? More examples:
See Manchester Universitys Academic Phrasebank (2006) for more examples
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Verb patterns for referring to
sources
Pattern 1: reporting verb + that + subject + verb
acknowledge admit agree allege argue
assert assume believe claim conclude
consider decide demonstrate deny determine
discover doubt emphasise explain find
hypothesise imply indicate infer note
object observe point out prove reveal
say show state suggest think
1. Da Souza argues that previous researchers have misinterpreted the data.
2. Researchers have demonstrated that the procedure is harmful.
(Smollet, Proctor & Plotnick, 2004)
5
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Pattern 1: reporting verb + that + subject + verb
Incorrect:
The researchers expressed that
Correct:
The researchers expressed the view that
Common errors
Incorrect:
Jones discussed that
Correct:
Jones discussed the use of
must be followed by a noun
must be followed by a noun
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show shows that
reveal reveals that
demonstrate demonstrates that
indicate indicates that
suggest suggests that
Verbs that cannot be followed by informative statements:
present presents that
display displays that
summarise summarises that
give gives that
discusses discusses that
Compare:
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acknowledge admit agree allege argue
assert assume believe claim conclude
consider decide demonstrate deny determine
discover doubt emphasise explain find
hypothesise imply indicate infer note
object observe point out prove reveal
say show state suggest think
As Da Souza argues, the problems need to be corrected.
As researchers have demonstrated, the procedure is
harmful.
These verbs can also be used with as + subject + verb
(Smollet et al., 2004)
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Verb patterns for referring to
sources
Pattern 2: reporting verb + somebody/something + for + noun
applaud blame censure criticise disparage
fault praise ridicule single out thank
1. Smith (2000) praises the institution for its use of improved safety
equipment.
2. The report criticises the school for its use of outdated safety
equipment in the classrooms.
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Verbs for referring to souces
Pattern 3: reporting verb + somebody/something + as + noun/adjective
appraise assess characterise class classify
define depict describe evaluate identify
interpret portray present refer view
1. Jones (1992) describes the response as inadequate.
2. Smith identifies the mothers presence as a source of interference.
3. Jones (1993) defines an organisation as
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Choose appropriate verbs:
Referring to research projects
What did the researcher(s) do?
Jones and Smith (1996) investigated the link between
They concluded that
Smith and Collins (2001) analysed the relationship..
Engelwood (2003) studied the effects of
The findings of Englewoods study indicated that
Wilson (1993) compared two systems of
Johns (2000) examined the extent to which
The results showed that
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Referring to the research of
other writers
Citation and tense
The language of critique
- verbs and adjectives used to situate critique
- indicating gaps in research
32
Who did the study?
When was it done?
Who were the participants?
What was done?
How was it done?
What were the findings?
What are the implications of the findings for your topic?
(What further research is required?)
Depending on the detail needed:
33
Referring to Others Work
A study by Smith (1998) showed that gender differences exist
online.
Smith (1998) investigated the existence of gender
differences in chatroom participation. By measuring the
proportion of responses made by male and female
participants, taking into account the amount of time spent
accessing the chatroom, findings showed that males were
more likely than females to post messages (67% and 33%
respectively). This evidence supports the view
34
Citation and tense
Swales and Feak (1994) point out three main patterns:
The causes of illiteracy are complex (Jones,1987; Ferrara,1990;
Hyon,1994).
Illiteracy appears to have a complex set of causes (Jones,1987;
35
Make sure that your voice is
heard in your paragraphs
The body of your essay should be an interplay
between:
- summaries of your source material
- your own interpretations, applications, and analysis of
the ideas in the source material
Dont let your sources do all the talking for you!
Provide your:
examples
interpretation
application
analysis
36
Example
For exampleTo illustrate Such as For
instance Specifically This can be seen in One
example of this is
Television is a useful medium for developing desired
modelling scenarios where people engage in certain
behaviours and subsequently receive reinforcement
(Loudon & Della Bitta, 1993, pp. 29-31). An example of
this kind of scenario is where a situation comedy shows
someone telling the truth about a transgression and
instead of being punished, they are rewarded for their
honesty. For instance, in the episode of Friends entitled
(Adapted from Summers & Smith, 2003)
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37
Interpretation
In other words This means In short
What the author means isAnother way of
stating this is
Desantes (2001) attributes much of the confusion
associated with immigrant culture shock to an ignorance of
the unwritten rules for social behaviour (p. 23) in the new
country. In other words, new immigrants are often unaware
of the system of rules that governs how people in the new
country interact. For example,
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Application
Therefore, HoweverObviously
Likewise In contrastIt stands to reason
This applies to X in that
According to Aikens and Jeron (2004), each year about 12
million children in developing countries die before their first
birthday from diseases such as diptheria, measles, whopping
cough, and simple diarrhea. Yet there are inexpensive and
effective preventative vaccines for many of these diseases
(pp. 21 25). It stands to reason, then, that developing
countries should spend their limited resources on the
prevention of these diseases.
39
Evaluation
This is important because This is a valid point becauseThis makes
sense because The strength of this isThe weakness of this is
Richmond (2003) cautions against the assumption that overpopulation is
the cause of poverty in developing countries. He points out that poorer
people in develping countries often need large families to help them
survive their poverty. He uses the example of certain agrarian societies in
which children are needed to work in the fields cultivating crops that
sustain their families. Therefore, he argues, overpopulation is a
consequence, rather than a cause of poverty in some developing
countries (p. 45).
This analysis of the relationship between poverty and overpopulation
provides a valid counter-argument to the popular view that birth-control is
the most effective way of alleviating poverty in developing countries.
40
Synthesise information from the
different sources
This relates to This is similar toAnother
view isIn another studyLikewise In
contrast The theory behind this This point
is supported by As a result
Bringing Ideas Together
Making Connections
Move beyond description to analysis and critique
41
What does it mean to synthesise the
information on existing knowledge?
Dont just list what the different researchers found or what
they say on the topic
- highlight issues on the topic
- youre constructing an argument
Highlight similarities and differences
- points of view
- research findings
Your voice must guide the discussion
Example: When youre looking at definitions of a concept:
Are there areas of commonality or of difference that emerge from
your analysis of the definitions of different authors?
42
Summarising existing research on a topic does not involve simply writing a
separate summary paragraph on each reading:
Guide the discussion using your voice
Show the relationship between the studies
Show how the research is linked to your research project
8
43
Smith?
How are all these linked to your research question/
essay topic
44
2.3.4. Television advertising and nutrition practices
particularly in regard to food requests, purchases and consumption
(see for example, Kotz & Story, 1994; Hutchings & Moynihan, 1998;
45
Indicating gaps in research
Swales and Feak (1994) identify four strategies:
Using negative subjects
Using contrastive statements
Raising a question, a hypthesis or a need
46
Indicating gaps:
Negative openings
However, little information
little attention
little work
little data
little reseach
However, few studies
few investigations
few researchers
few attempts
Useful alternative: Use a contrastive statement:
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
47
Indicating gaps:
Contrastive statements
These studies have emphasised ...as opposed to...
Although considerable research has been devoted to...,
rather less attention has been paid to...
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189) 48
Indicating gaps:
Raising questions, hypotheses or needs
However, it remains unclear whether ...
It would thus be of interest to learn how...
If these results could be confirmed, they would provide
strong evidence for...
These findings suggest that this treatment might not be
so effective when applied to...
It would seem, therefore, that further investigations are
needed in order to...
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
9
49
Situating Critique
However, previous research in this field has _________
a. concentrated on x.
b. disregarded x.
c. failed to consider x.
d. ignored x.
e. been limited to x.
f. misinterpreted x
g. neglected to consider x.
h. overestimated x.
i. overlooked x.
j. been restricted to x.
k. suffered from x.
l. underestimated x
How negative are the following verbs (a to l)?
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
50
Situating Critique
Nevertheless, these attempts to establish a link
between secondary smoke and lung cancer are at
present ______________________
a. controversial e. questionable
b. incomplete f. unconvincing
c. inconclusive g. unsatisfactory
d. misguided
How negative are the following adjectives (a to g)?
(Swales & Feak, 1994, p. 189)
51
your assignments?
Most important rule:
Dont cut and paste from your sources
The marker wants to hear your voice guiding the
assignment
Use your sources to back up what you say about
the topic
Use appropriate signals and structures to refer to
your sources
52
your assignments?
Important rule #2:
Always acknowledge your sources
Reference List at end of essay showing full
publication details of sources
In-text reference every time you use information
from one of your sources
- name of writer
- year of publication
- page numbers where information is located
Use clear signal phrases
53
Deakin University. (n.d). Critical analysis. Retrieved February 17, 2005,
from Deakin University, Academic Skills website:
http://www.deakin.edu.au/studentlife/academic-skills/undergraduate/
handouts/critical-analysis.php
Hawkins, J. (2003). A cross-cultural content analysis of the portrayal of
food and nutrition, in television advertising and programmes in New
Zealand and Japan in 2002/2003. Unpublished masters thesis,
Massey University, Auckland, New Zealand.
Inkson, K., & Kolb, D. (2002). Management: Perspectives for New Zealand
(3rd ed.). Auckland, New Zealand: Prentice Hall.
Manchester University. (2006). Academic phrasebank. Retrieved May 22,
2006, from http://www.phrasebank.man.ac.uk/index.htm
References
54
Pakenham, K.J. (2001). Making connections: Academic reading
techniques. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University
Press.
Smollet, R., Proctor, M., & Plotnik, J. (2004). Verbs for referring to
sources. Retrieved May 5, 2006, from University of Toronto
website: http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/reporting.html
Summers, J., & Smith, B. (2003). Communication skills handbook.
Milton, Australia: John Wiley & Sons Australia Ltd.
Swales, J.M., & Feak, C.B. (1994). Academic writing for graduate
students. Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press.
References
10
55
END
56
The following extracts are from a PhD thesis:
Whitehead, A.J. (2001). Teacher burnout: A study of
occupational stress and burnout in New Zealand school
teachers. Unpublished doctoral thesis, Massey
University, Auckland, New Zealand
57
2.1. The Nature of Stress
In order to study stress in teachers, a clear definition of what is meant by
the term stress is needed. Stress has taken on many different meanings
which are often contradictory and confusing. The word stress has
become a word commonly used in a variety of settings, with different
meanings attached to the situation in which it is used. Selye (1956), one
of the pioneers in the field, points out that stress as a concept suffers
from the mixed blessings of being too well known and too little
understood (p. 53). This elusive nature of stress is demonstrated by the
fact that there are many definitions of stress, and it is used in the literature
in fundamentally different ways: as an environmental condition, as an
appraisal of an environmental condition, as a response to that condition,
and as some form of relationship between the environmental demands
and the persons ability to meet those demands. Cooper (1998) also
stated that there have been numerous attempts to abandon the use of the
term stress on the grounds that it is an abstraction which does not
correspond to clinical reality (p. vi) and it is also very difficult to observe
stress. However, as shown by the numerous papers presented at the Life
of Stress Congress held in June 1997 to commemorate the 90th
anniversary of Hans Selyes birth (Csermely, 1997), the concept of
stress in research is alive and flourishing.
58
There are, however, three general perspectives which
have been identified. One is that stress is a result of
something outside of the individual, i.e. external
factors are the cause of the stress; the second is that
stress is internal, it is what goes on inside the
individual as they interpret or react to what is going on
around them (Gold & Roth, 1993); and the third major
perspective is the transactional view of Lazarus and
colleagues which focuses on the cognitive processes
and emotional reactions of individuals to stress in their
environments (Lazarus, 1978).
59
As well as the conceptual confusion over the meaning of
stress, there has been further confusion due to the multiplicity
of methods employed to investigate its existence and nature.
Measuring work stress has also proved difficult because of the
constraint on empirical development imposed by what many
have described as a ritualised reliance on quantitative
methodology (Van Maanen, 1979; Payne, Jick & Burke, 1982;
Kasl, 1987). Pearlin (1981) claims that the methodology
employed will dictate the particular manifestation of stress that
may be observed in the functioning of the individual where the
stress response is most clearly reflected (e.g. physiological,
behavioural or psychological). Additional criticisms of stress
research result from its heavy reliance upon correlational data,
which limits inferences about causality and does not consider
the role of intervening variables (Travers & Cooper, 1996).
60
Stress research covers a wide range of traditional
disciplines and an understanding of the major
perspectives is essential for the development of some
conceptual precision which can be utilised for this study.
The following discussion will discuss the development
of stress historically and will explore various
perspectives with their corresponding strengths and
weaknesses.
11
61
2.2. History of the Stress Concept
According to Newton (1995), stress discourse and its
development has been largely unrepresented since
World War II. Although the word stress has been in
use for some time, the development of academic
theories of stress remains largely confined to the post-
war period. However the term stress was first applied in
engineering in the early 1800s. In this context stress
was construed as the load of force acting upon an
object, divided by the area over which it acted, and
strain to the effects of the force on the object, including
weakening and changes in shape.
62
The earliest figure associated with the establishment of stress as a
legitimate subject for academic study was American physiologist Walter
Cannon who used the term stress to refer to patterns of physiological
response of organisms to emotional stimuli (Beehr & Franz, 1987). While
Cannon in his 1914 paper refers to problems of great emotional stress, his
primary concern was with developing a physiological theory of emotions
and of instincts. Cannon did make reference to stress, but it was not central
to his theorising. Cannons primary concern was with the physiology of
homeostasis, not with psychological stress per se. Cannon introduced the
term homeostasis to designate the maintenance of the internal milieu
(Cannon, 1922). This research focused on the specific reactions that are
critical in maintaining internal balance during emergencies such as nervous
irritation. In his later work he adopted the term stress and spoke of critical
stress levels which he defined as those which could bring about a state of
collapse of homeostatic mechanisms in relation to social and industrial
organisation (Cannon, 1935; 1939). Cannons work is still regarded as
influential because of the way in which it is currently used in order to
portray stress as a struggle between our primitive biological nature and
the complexity of a modern and rapidly changing society (Newton, 1995).
Cannons classic studies established...
63
It was against this cumulative background that Hans Selye, an
endocrinologist, began his notable studies of stress and established
the most widely used definition of stress. This provided much of the
impetus for current psychological investigation and led others to regard
him as the father of stress (Rice, 1987). Selye began to notice that
many diverse medical conditions exhibited similar signs and symptoms
and thus he began to study the commonalities of illness. That is, he
accepted that while each disorder or disease is unique, all diseases
have similar symptoms in common i.e. a variety of dissimilar
situations emotional arousal, effort, fatigue, pain, fear, concentration,
humiliation, loss of blood and even great and unexpected success
are capable of producing stress within their bodies which respond in a
stereotyped pattern of biochemical change. Thus Selye defined stress
as the non-specific (that is, common) result of any demand upon the
body, be the effect mental or somatic (Selye, 1956, p.58). This
definition gives the name stress to the unified response rather than to
the multifarious stimuli that might have produced it. Selye also
suggested that these stimuli, or evocative agents be referred to as
stressors, which set the stage for much of the current terminology.
64
In the last few decades, research on stress has broadened and become
influenced largely by behavioural scientists, moving away from the strict
focus on physical stimuli and their physiological consequences (Travers
& Cooper, 1996). There has also been a shift of orientation from
physical stressors, such as mechanical trauma, towards psychological
stressors such as role ambiguity and the impact of psychological and
social influences upon the individual. However it has been observed
that responses to a stimulus will not have the same stressful
implications for all individuals. Certain characteristics of the individual
(e.g. age, sex, education, personality characteristics, coping style,
social situations and past experiences) can all lead to variations as to
what constitutes a stressful experience (Travers & Cooper, 1996). This
recognition of the complexity of the interacting or intervening factors
which determine behavioural and physiological responses to stress, led
subsequent researchers to adopt a broad, many-sided perspective, and
to avoid simplistic, one-sided definitions (Ursin & Olff, 1993).
65
2.15 Correlates of Burnout
Job and organisational correlates
.
.. Another important organisational variable that has consistently been linked with
burnout reduction is social support. Schaufeli and Enzmann (1986) noted that clear
evidence exists for a positive relationship between lack of support and burnout. A
lack of social support from supervisors is especially related to burnout. Lee and
Ashforth (1996) (13 studies) show that on average, lack of support from
supervisors explains 14% of the variance of emotional exhaustion, 6% of
depersonalisation, and 2% of personal accomplishment. Lack of feedback has also
been positively related to all three dimensions of burnout. Although there are only
a few studies available, they are consistent: a meta-analysis of six studies showed
that lack of feedback explained 18% of the variance of emotional exhaustion, 12%
of depersonalisation, and 9% of reduced personal accomplishment (Pfennig &
Husch, 1994). Two studies that link social support with burnout reduction were
conducted by Greenglass, Burke and Konarski (1998) and Jackson et al. (1986).
The former found that support from co-workers led to reduced emotional
exhaustion among female teachers, while both supervisor and co-worker support
increased personal accomplishment in their make colleagues. The latter obtained
significant increases in teachers personal accomplishment when support was
given from the principal.
66
Studies on Teacher Stress and Burnout
Biographical variables
A review of research on teachers stress and biographical variables
such as sex, age, experience, and position have provided important
insights into the nature of stressor relationships. While there is
contrary evidence regarding the significance between these
variables and stress, it is important to acknowledge that biographical
variables do have a part to play in teachers perceptions of stress.
Kyriacou and Sutcliffes (1978) study and the research of Borg et al.
(1991); Brown and Ralph (1992); and Pierce and Molloy (1990a), all
found no significant relationships between biographical variables and
stress. However four studies by Williams (1981), Laughlan (1983),
Coates and Thoresen (1976) and Friedman (1991), have found that
biological variables do play a major role in teachers perceptions of
stress. These studies found that sex, age, type of school (i.e. primary
or secondary), positions held, and qualifications can be significant in
predicting stress among teachers.
12
67
The study by Williams (1981), sampled 956 teachers in
Alberta Canada using the Organisational Stress
instrument. Factor analysis provided five factors that
contributed to teacher stress, including: relationships
with students, relationships with colleagues, teacher
tasks, work load and job security. Relationships between
stressor factors and biographical variables found that
females reported statistically significant greater stress
than males on factors related to job security and work
load. Age differences showed 25-34 year olds had more
stress from workload and colleague relationships than
others, whilst job security was an important stressor for
teachers with less than two years experience.
68
Changes to a Quotation
If you delete any part of the quoted
passage, show that by using ellipses, like
this:
Eckholm(1999) reports that a 7 year-old
pygmy chimpanzee . . . has demonstrated the
most human-like banana-eating skills ever
documented (p. 17).
(Omitted material: with whomDr. Dole has worked for several years)
69
Changes to a Quotation
If you add anything to the original, show
this by placing square brackets [ ]
around the additions youve made:
Robbins (2001) states, Disney is responsible for
much of this misrepresentation of the animal
kingdom. For example, [Chip and Dale] do not
demonstrate realistic chipmunk behavior (p. 6).
70
Avoid Hanging Quotations
A hanging quotation does not identify the
speaker/writer.
A few exotic dancers have decried the
expense of natural ostrich feathers. We
should be using artificial feathers
exclusively and saving a fortune.
Use signal phrases to identify the speaker/writer
71
A few exotic dancers have decried the
expense of natural ostrich feathers.
According to Kelly and Roberts (2003),
Costume designers could be using
artificial feathers exclusively and saving
a fortune (p. 7).
Complete-Sentence Quotation:
Signal Phrase
Complete Sentence quoted
Parenthetical Citation
72
Keyword Quotation:
They go on to say that other artificial exotic bird
feathers will be equally transformative (p. 67).
Partial-Sentence Quotation:
Kelly & Roberts (2003) believe that artificial ostrich
feathers have revolutionised the costume industry
(p. 66).
Other Ways to Quote:
Signal Phrases Parenthetical Citation

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