CHAPTER

22
Poets at Work
When we read a poem aloud, whether an anonymous nursery rhyme such as Jack and Jill went up a hill
or a work by one of the great names, the words seem so right, so inevitable, that it is hard to believe they
did not flow easily. eading, say, !eats"s #n $irst %ooking into &hapman"s 'omer (page )*)+, we may
think that he must have sat down and simply let the words stream from his pen. ,nd certainly !eats
himself emphasi-ed spontaneity. /n a letter he says, /f poetry comes not as naturally as leaves to a tree it
had better not come at all. 0et !eats"s manuscripts indicated that he revised his work heavily, so heavily
that some of the manuscripts are almost indecipherable. Probably William 1utler 0eats was speaking for
all poets when he said (in a poem called ,dam"s &urse+ that a poem must seem spontaneous but is the
result of hard work.
, line will take us hours maybe2
0et if it does not seem a moment"s thought,
#ur stitching and unstitching has been naught.
/n this chapter we give the following material.
3. 45hree versions of a poem by 0eats.
2. 45wo versions of a poem by &athy 6ong, introduced by her comment.
7. 45wo versions of a poem by Walt Whitman.
*. 45wo versions of a poem by 8onald Justice.
WALT WHITMAN
Walt Whitman (18191892) was born in a farmhouse in rural Long Island, New Yor, but was brought u!
in "rool#n, then an inde!endent $it# in New Yor% &e attended !ubli$ s$hool for a few #ears (182'
18()), a!!renti$ed as a !rinter in the 18()s, and then wored as a t#!esetter, *ournalist, and news!a!er
editor% In 18'' he !ublished the first edition of a $olle$tion of his !oems, Lea+es of ,rass, a boo that he
re+ised and !ublished in one edition after another throughout the remainder of his life% -uring the .i+il
War he ser+ed as a +olunteer nurse for the /nion arm#%
In the third edition of Lea+es of ,rass (180)) Whitman added two grou!s of !oems, one $alled
1.hildren of 2dam3 and the other (named for an aromati$ grass that grows near !onds and swam!s)
$alled 1.alamus%3 1.hildren of 2dam3 $elebrates heterose4ual relations, whereas 1.alamus3 $elebrates
what Whitman $alled 1manl# lo+e%3 2lthough man# of the 1.alamus3 !oems seem $learl# homose4ual,
!erha!s the +er# fa$t that Whitman !ublished them made them seem relati+el# inno$ent5 in an# $ase,
those nineteenth6$entur# $riti$s who $ondemned Whitman for the se4ualit# of his writing $on$entrated on
the !oems in 1.hildren of 2dam%3
Enfans dAdam, number 9 [1860]
9Lea+es of ,rass, 3:;< edition=
#nce, / passed through a populous city, imprinting my brain, for
future use, with its shows, architecture, customs and traditions2
0et now, of all that city, / remember only a woman / casually met
there, who detained me for love of me, *
8ay by day and night by night we were together,>,ll else has long
been forgotten by me,
/ remember / say only that woman that passionately clung to me,
,gain we wander>we love>we separate again, :
,gain she holds me by the hand>/ must not go?
/ see her close beside me, with silent lips, sad and tremulous.
8onald Justice
Donald Justice was born in Miami, lorida, in 19!", attended local sc#ools t#ere,
and $raduated from t#e %ni&ersit' of Miami in 19(") Man' of #is *oems focus on
#is e+*eriences in lorida and in ,eor$ia, w#ere #e s*ent t#e summers durin$ t#e
19-0s, li&in$ on #is $rand*arents farm) Justices boo.s include A Donald Justice
/eader 019911 and 2ollected 3oems 0!00(1) 4e died in !00() Elsew#eres [!00(]
5out# 6ort#
7aitin$ /oom
5he long green shutters are drawn. ,lready it is midsummer
eading the signs,
,gainst what parades@ /n the 6weden of our lives.
We learn to eApect>
&losing our eyes to the sun, 5he peasants have Boined hands,
5he trains late,
We try to imagine 5hey are circling the haystacks.
5he machines out of order.
5he darkness of an interior We watch from the veranda. We
learn what it is
/n which something still might happen. We sit, mufflered,
5o stare out into space.
5he ra-or lying open 'umming the tune in snatches
Creat farms surround us,
#n the cool marble washstand, Dnder our breath.
6Euares of a checkerboard.
5he drip of something>is it water@> We tremble sometimes,
5aking our places, we wait,
Dpon stone floors. Fot with emotion.
We wait to be moved.
D 5#P/&6 $# &/5/&,% 5'/F!/FC ,F8 W/5/FC
3. 4What was your response to the title, Glsewheres, when you first encountered it@ 'ow did your
response change after you read and studied the three poems@
2. 4What is your response to 6outh@ 8id you find you responded to it differently after you read
Forth@ 'ow would your response change if Forth came first and 6outh second@
7. 48o you think that 6outh and Forth could stand together effectively as a pair@ What does
Waiting oom contribute to our eAperience of Glsewheres as a whole@
*. 4Poets are often encouraged to make good use of specific details. &ircle the details in these poems
and comment on their significance. What is their relationship to the parts of the poems that you did not
circle@
H. 4/s Justice seeking to teach us something through these three poems@ Please eAplain.
;. 4/magine that Justice had chosen to print the three poems of Glsewheres +erti$all# on the page.
Would that make a difference in our response@ Fotice that in the manuscript, the poems are presented
vertically.
). 4What is your response to the manuscript page we have included, with its markings and Bottings@
/n your view, which kind of poem is likely to be better, one that has been revised a great deal or one that
has been revised hardly at all@ When you read a poem, can you tell whether it has been revised@ /s there
a poem in this book that you feel needs further revision@ Please identify it and eAplain your response.
CATHY SONG
.ath# 7ong, born in &onolulu in 19'' of a .hinese62meri$an mother and a 8orean62meri$an father,
holds a ba$helor9s degree from Wellesle# .ollege and a master9s degree in $reati+e writing from "oston
/ni+ersit#% 7he is the author of three boos of !oems, the first of whi$h, :i$ture "ride (198(), was the
winner in the Yale 7eries of Younger :oets% 7he has also won the &awaii 2ward for Literature, and the
7helle# ;emorial 2ward from the :oetr# 7o$iet# of 2meri$a%
&ere we !rint a draft of an untitled !oem, and the final +ersion, now titled 1<ut of <ur &ands%3 ;s%
7ong has indl# !ro+ided us with a $omment on the origins of the !oem=
1<ut of <ur &ands3 was written for the !oet Wing >e Lum% Long before Wing >e and I be$ame
friends, I had alread# en$ountered his wor% >he !oem is informed b# our friendshi!5 m# abiding
res!e$t for the !oet is dee!ened b# m# affe$tion for the man% 8nowing the realit# of his warm
humanit# allowed me to imagine the !oem in a larger $onte4t?what I had felt in his !oems was
!resent and true?and in a sense, when I first en$ountered his wor, I was read# to re$ei+e the
1seeds of a language @ I needed to now%3 I was read# for this !oet who had something to tea$h
me%
>he sense of magi$ and transformation is ali+e and well in the !oem be$ause his !oems, his
!resen$e allowed that to ha!!en with me% >he images of birds and flight, $hildren and language
ha+e e+er#thing to do with the wa# gifts are gi+en and re$ei+ed?serendi!itous and #et, there are
no $oin$iden$es% When a !oem is written there is someone out there waiting to read it, to ha+e
the gift des$end, tou$h #ou lie a leaf, a feather, a letter written *ust for #ou%
#ut of #ur 'ands 93II*=
?for Wing >e Lum
#ut of a hat
on a piece of paper
someone once gave me your name. 7
0our name flew
out of my hand,
the black letters ;
dismantling the air
above the school.
/ watched the letters I
form the bird
seeds of a language
/ needed to know,32
a language borrowed
from the children / taught
who shivered in borrowed coats. 3H
5oward evening they scattered
outside the school,
red4bricked and torn 3:
on the edge of &hinatown.
/ watched them disappear
into their lives, 23
undisciplined like starlings,
they disappeared
in the broken shoes of the wind. 2*
#ne day your name
came back
in a poem you were 2)
writing in another city,
a poem you were determined
to write for the rest of your life. 7<
5he poem a subversive act.
5he poem about being &hinese,
skin the glorious color of chicken fat. 77
WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS:
LEDA AND THE SWAN (THREE VERSIONS)
7illiam 8utler 9eats 0186":19-91 was born in Dublin, ;reland) <#e earl' 9eats was
muc# interested in #i$#l' l'rical, romantic *oetr', often drawin$ on ;ris#
m't#olo$') <#e later *oems, from about 1910 0and es*eciall' after 9eats met E=ra
3ound in 19111, are often more collo>uial) Alt#ou$# t#ese later *oems often
em*lo' m't#olo$ical references, too, one feels t#at t#e *oems are more down?to?
eart#) 4e was awarded t#e 6obel 3ri=e in @iterature in 19!-)
2$$ording to ,ree m#tholog#, Aeus fell in lo+e with Leda, disguised himself as a swan, and ra+ished
her% 2mong the offs!ring of this union were &elen and .l#temnestra% :aris abdu$ted &elen, $ausing the
,rees to raBe >ro#5 .l#temnestra, wife of 2gamemnon, murdered her husband on his trium!hant return
to ,ree$e% Yeats saw !oliti$al signifi$an$e in the m#th of beaut# and war engendered b# a god5 but, as he
tells us, when he was $om!osing 1Leda and the 7wan3 the !oliti$al signifi$an$e e+a!orated=
2fter the indi+idualisti$, demagogi$ mo+ements, founded b# &obbes and !o!ulariBed b# the
Cn$#$lo!aedists and the Dren$h Ee+olution, we ha+e a soil so e4hausted that it $annot grow that
$ro! again for $enturies% >hen I thought 1Nothing is now !ossible but some mo+ement, or birth
from abo+e, !re$eded b# some +iolent annun$iation%3 ;# fan$# began to !la# with Leda and the
7wan for meta!hor, and I began this !oem, but as I wrote, bird and lad# too su$h !ossession of
the s$ene that all !oliti$s went out of it%
>he first +ersion of the !oem, titled 12nnun$iation,3 is from a manus$ri!t dated 18 7e!tember 192(5
the se$ond +ersion was !rinted in a magaBine, Fune 192G5 the third +ersion, first !ublished in his
.olle$ted :oems of 19((, is Yeats9s final one% "ut this third +ersion had been almost full# a$hie+ed b#
192'5 the 19(( +ersion differs from the 192' +ersion onl# in two !un$tuation mars= >he Huestion mars
at the ends of lines 0 and 8 in the latest +ersion were, in 192', res!e$ti+el#, a $omma and a semi$olon%
Annunciation [19!-]
Fow can the swooping Codhead have his will
0et hovers, though her helpless thighs are pressed
1y the webbed toes2 and that all powerful bill
'as suddenly bowed her face upon his breast, *
'ow can those terrified vague fingers push
5he feathered glory from her loosening thighs@
,ll the stretched body"s laid on that white rush
,nd feels the strange heart beating where it lies :
, shudder in the loins engenders there
5he broken wall, the burning roof and tower
,nd ,gamemnon dead . . .
1eing so caught up 32
8id nothing pass before her in the air@
8id she put on his knowledge with his power
1efore the indifferent beak could let her drop.
@eda and t#e 5wan [19!(]
, rush, a sudden wheel, and hovering still
5he bird descends, and her frail thighs are pressed
1y the webbed toes, and that all4powerful bill
'as laid her helpless face upon his breast *
'ow can those terrified vague fingers push
5he feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
,ll the stretched body"s laid on the white rush
,nd feels the strange heart beating where it lies2 :
, shudder in the loins engenders there
5he broken wall, the burning roof and tower
,nd ,gamemnon dead.
1eing so caught up, 32
6o mastered by the brute blood of the air,
8id she put on his knowledge with his power
1efore the indifferent beak could let her drop@
@eda and t#e 5wan [19--]
, sudden blow. the great wings beating still
,bove the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
1y the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
'e holds her helpless breast upon his breast. *
'ow can those terrified vague fingers push
5he feathered glory from her loosening thighs@
,nd how can body, laid in that white rush,
1ut feel the strange heart beating where it lies@ :
, shudder in the loins engenders there
5he broken wall, the burning roof and tower
,nd ,gamemnon dead.
1eing so caught up, 32
6o mastered by the brute blood of the air,
8id she put on his knowledge with his power
1efore the indifferent beak could let her drop@
Walt Whitman
Walt Whitman, 3:;< manuscript, for the poem #nce / Passed 5hrough a Populous &ity, included in the
Gnfans d",dam (&hildren of ,dam+ section of Lea+es of ,rass (3:;< ed.+. 5he eAtensive markings on
this page, some of them in dark ink, and others in light pencil, show that Whitman revised this poem
carefully. Fotice, for eAample, that Whitman wrote and crossed out both great and populous and then
seemed to settle on the word celebrated, only to write (barely visible in the upper right corner+
populous again, which became his final choice for the phrase a populous city. Fote, too, the changes
in gender from only a man and that youth (crossed out+ and one rude and ignorant man to>in the
published poem>that woman and she holds me.
&hapter 22 J Poets at Work

Kanuscript of 8onald Justice"s Glsewheres.
8onald Justice
&hapter 22 J Poets at Work

&athy 6ong
6ong"s draft for #ut of #ur 'ands.
&hapter 22 J Poets at Work

William 1utler 0eats. %eda and the 6wan (5hree Lersions+
0eats"s first drafts of %eda and the 6wan, 3I27.
&hapter 22 J Poets at Work
William 1utler 0eats. %eda and the 6wan (5hree Lersions+