Hello everyone, welcome to the opening day of the Brainy Montessori.

Thank you for

joining us on this lovely day. Today I want to share a special speech about parenting tips. My
speech today would focus on "What does it take to be a good parent?" But before I go any
further, allow me to enlighten all of you with the definition of parenting. According to Martin,
D. (2000), parenting (or child rearing) is the process of promoting and supporting the
physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.
Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. There
are many skills of parenting and a good parent may be referred to those with good parenting
skills.
Being a parent can be one of the most pleasing and amazing experiences of your entire
life. The feelings of being called mommy' or daddy' are the probably the best feeling ever,
but that does not mean it is easy to be one. Raising a child needs more than just love.
Parenting goes beyond every tiny detail in shaping a worthy children for the next generations.
No matter how many child you own, what age they are, parenting is a never ending job. To be
a good parent, one must have good characteristics. A famous Italian physician and educator,
Maria Montessori, also clarified that her education method is a very applicable method to be
used at home as guidelines towards good parenting. The Montessori is basically designed to
help children with their task of inner construction as they grow from childhood to maturity.
Montessori education succeeds because it draws its principles from the natural development
of the child. There are several elements on how parents can become a good parent using the
Montessori education.
Referring to Montessori, a good parent should always be respectful. A parent should
respect him or her child in every aspect of their life. Respecting your child means putting
yourself in their shoes. Children deserve to have a choice of their own. Imagine this, if you
are locked in a small room or space you will tend to get upset because you need the freedom
to be able to move freely and not being forced. This simple example is very much related to
children. As a good parent, you cannot force children to follow your orders all the time.
Sometimes, you just need to let them move freely. Respect every minor feature that the
children do not want to do, such as eating at times. We have to remember that children are
also a human being, they are not toys, they living souls with feelings. Even we also have days
that we do not feel like eating on time. Parents should always assume that children are just
like us, but, of course, smaller in size. They need time to learn. Respect that they have needs
like we do. Being respectful can reinforce the relationship between parents and children. Not
only can that, being respectful towards the children also influence the way they live their
everyday lives. They learn best this way, and once they know that being respectful to other
people is important, they will take it into practice.
Next is being encouraging and inspiring. A good parent should always encourage their
children to have the space and opportunity of their own. By giving them the right amount of
encouragements, children will tend to be optimistic. Encouraging children can be in any form.
Encouraging your child to explore what they see in the environment can boost children
curiosity. Let the children explore their surroundings. Encourage them to experience
themselves with every possibility. Toddlers like to play and move freely. As a good parent let
them play and encourage them to use the space as much as they want. However, make sure
that you always had your eyes on them. When children turn teenager, parents should always
encourage them towards positive behaviour. Encouraging your children to have a healthy
lifestyle is an appropriate example. It is very important to make sure that your children eat
healthy food as much as they can, get plenty of exercises, and get enough rest every night. As
a good parent, you should encourage positive and healthy behaviour without provoking on it
too much or making it seem as if you are forcing them to eat, sit, or act in a certain way.
Parents should allow the children to see into conclusion on their own of the meaning and
importance of being healthy.
Apart from that, another way to encourage the children is by giving praise or rewards.
Children love to be appreciated of their work and effort. Praising your children is an
important part of being a good parent. If parents want their kids to feel good and proud of
their accomplishments or themselves, it is best for them to get praised by their parents.
Believe it or not, a good way of encouragement can lead to an increase of confidence level in
a child's life. If they do not get noticed of the good things they did, then they will not be able
to feel independent or adventurous. Parents should let the children know that you are noticing
them of doing something good by praising or giving rewards to them and letting them know
that you are proud of them. A simple applause, tap on the shoulders, and kiss on the cheeks to
indicate praise means a lot to children. Even though giving rewards is quite an improper way
of encouraging the children, because they will tend to depend on it every time they did
something good, however, rewards are proven to be a good tool to eliminate negative
behaviours. Without consistent encouragement and expectations from the parents, children
may get into bad habits with their behaviour. Thus, a good way of encouraging the children is
highly desirable.
In Montessori Method of developing children, the parents should practice the freedom
of choice. A good parent should always give his or her children a choice. Children have their
own right to choose. It is not wrong for parents to give a choice to their children, even on
small things like choosing what to wear today, what they want to play, or what they want to
do. Giving them the opportunity to choose can increase their potential on decision making as
well as creativity. Children will see choices as an opportunity for them to try something new.
Giving the children the freedom of choice also promotes them to become independent
thinkers. Choices should be offered to children from an early age in order to allow them to
make wise decisions. Children are continuously learning throughout their lives and need to be
trusted to make choices to learn what is right and wrong. Good and bad resolutions help
children to take cautious thought over their selections in order to benefit from them. Parents
who practice the skills of giving the child choices will also benefit the children in the long
term. Freedom of choices helps children to prepare themselves for adulthood. Making choices
is an ability that is essential in life in order to make knowledgeable decisions. Choices are
made every single day from simple to complex. Some choices can be life changing and have a
huge effect on the future. Choices for the children need to be appropriate and realistic. Giving
children choices is vital for their growth and individuality. Children learn from good and bad
choices, and they learn to be independent thinkers who can make decisions. Giving children
choices allows them to grow and develop, and learn an important skill that is needed
throughout their lives.
A good communication is the key to a good parent-children relationship. A parent
must master the skills of communication very well before opening a conversation with the
children. Applying the Montessori principal of communication is central to the children. As a
good parent, one must always talk to his or her children in a proper manner. Talk in a clearly
articulated voice will make every conservation run smoothly. At home parents are the main
teachers. Spending time with the children by chit chatting and talking to each other about
things that happen throughout the day will also increase the level of quality relationship.
Parents who have young children can use communication as a tool for them to educate and
increase their childrens vocabulary in everyday lives. A good conversation comes along with
respect and honesty. Thus, as a good parent, being a good communicator with a sense of
respect, politeness, and gracefulness is decisively needed.
Children learn best through their observation from the environment. A good parent
must also be able to teach children not by correcting them but by modelling. Modelling is the
best way to nurture decent behaviour to the children. Children tend to be more affected to
what their parents do, rather than what their parents say. It is much easier for them to behave
and act by seeing and observing their parents behave and by following their footsteps. Using
positive words in a dialogue for a simple please and thank you can foster good manners
to the children. Once the child lives in a positive environment set up by the parents, every
positive little thing will become a habit to them and they will make use of whatever they learn
in their everyday lives. Besides, showing respect to others also comes under modelling.
Parents who are able to show respect to other people in front of their children will somehow
transferring an affirmative vibe to the children. Not only that, if parents wants their child to
respect others, they must first respect their own child. I agreed that sometimes, parents like us
do have our own weakness in managing our temper. We made mistakes because we are all
human being. Nobody is perfect. A good parent should model out a personality of forgiving
other people and admit own mistakes. Saying sorry is a part of an effort of trying to fix what
is wrong from right. Being a positive role model for your children is the most rewarding
things you can do for your child. Children need nothing more than a good role model to lead
them to the right path.
Using Montessori education and approach at home can be very helpful. Montessori
principle gives idea to the parent to become a parent with high patience. Patience is hard to
practice. However, it would have become the most important parenting skill. A good parent
can handle patience very well. Patience is the ability or willingness to suppress anger,
provocation, annoyance, misfortune, pain or irritation without complaint. Patience is what
every parent need to have, and will need to take deliberate action stages. Children come in all
forms of behaviour when they are little. Their curiosity sometimes can challenge our
emotions. If you look carefully and observe the nature of a child, they tend to be quite
stubborn in the early age. That is due to the feelings of wanting to try and explore things by
themselves. Our children, especially the young ones occasionally avoid being advised by us.
The more we say no' to negativity, the higher their tendency of doing it.
A patience parent should keep in mind that children are experts in getting under your
skin, even though they are not intentionally doing it on purpose. By being patience, parents
would have a lot of benefits from understanding the children's thoughts and motives. A
confirmatory approach of a parent by being patience will unlock the childs behaviour and
allowing themselves to share problem that troubling them and seek for help from the parents.
Young children are highly affected and influenced by parents patience attitude. Children will
realize that their parents are always there for them. This is an important step in mastering the
parenting skill of patience. Through understanding a child, apparently, parents will be able to
improve their ability deal with them.
I am sure that most of you would probably said, being patience is easier said than
done. Though it is hard to be a patient person, but with a lot of practice, it will eventual
works. A lot of news on the social networks, newspaper and in television about parents who
dreadfully abuse their kids emotionally and physically due to the lack of patience. Many
parents tend to lose patience easily and burst out in rage. Shouting, yelling, and beating
children is not a proper way of developing and nurturing children. If you have ever done this
to your child, I beg you to stop. Punish the children physically may work for a short run, but
for the long term, the traumatization from what the children had suffered will hunt their lives
forever. This parental method would worsen the child's behaviour as they grow. Children are
too little to understand what might hurt our feelings. They are too naive to even think of ways
not to make us mad. They are naturally born with eager to try something new. They might not
automatically understand why we get angry or upset with them. Thus, having enough patience
is an important element that I personally believe that all parents should have.
Lastly, all parent should be loving and supportive to their children. Loving your
children is very important. Parents love is the greatest treasure ever. There are few ways to
show your love towards your children, and one of them appreciate and accept your child's
weaknesses. Each and every individual have their own potential, strengths and weaknesses.
Our child is born with a special talent. Apart from the Montessori education, a famous
psychologist, Howard Garner who is best known for his theory of multiple intelligences,
stated that children are born with multiple talents in order for them to learn throughout the
process of developing themselves in life. Our child might have different styles in learning. It
is vital for parents to be loving and supporting their child in whatever they are good at. They
might weak in a certain area, but it is okay. It is important for the parents not to judge on their
children's weaknesses and support on other area that their children master at.
Moreover, a loving and supportive parents should always be able to see your child's
"errors" from their point of view. It is natural for parents to think that they are right and their
children are wrong. Children will feel stressed if their parents are always controlling them. It
is better to listen to your child's opinion about what they have done wrong. Children tend to
misbehave. Parents should always remember that their "misbehaviour" is a part of their
learning process. Under your child's misbehaviour, there is always a reason, upset feeling or
unmet need. Sometimes they just need our attention. Address that underlying reason, not the
behaviour which they reveal and parents will finally see a change in their child. Being loving
and supportive can prevent child from misbehaving. When we see things from our child's
point of view, misbehaviour is suddenly comprehensible, and forgivable.
Being loving and supportive can also be implemented by spending more time with
your children. I have to admit, some parent could not afford to spend a lot of time with their
children these days. It gets harder when both parents are working. Children need to be loved.
Spending time with them is a perfect way to show them how much you care for them. There
are a lot of benefits that the children get by spending quality time together with their parents.
Feeling loved and important is one of them. Children need to feel as if they are important and
being loved by their parents. Feeling loved, valued and important builds self-esteem and self-
worth, which is necessary for a fulfilling life. Other than that, by spending time together with
parents, children can develop a stronger relationship within the family members. Spending
time together not only build memories, but also develop trust. Some of the simple ideas that a
parent can do to spend quality time together with their children are like, cooking or baking
together, work on homework, play favourite sports together, try out new hobbies, watch
movies, go shopping, go on bike ride or walk at the beach, read a book, and making crafts
together.
In conclusion, becoming a good parent is a great effort that every parent should strive
to achieve. Parenting is an operation without an instruction manual. Everything depends on
how an individual is figuring out a way of shaping their own children. Parents raise their kids
the best way they know, see how they are doing in life, and work on to make necessary
adjustments throughout the process of parenting. Parenting is like cooking, whereby you will
figure out yourself what kind of ingredients you might want to add in order to produce a well-
rounded personality in your children. It is a huge responsibility for the parents to add the right
combination of "ingredients" to form a virtuous child. Nothing can bring us more joy than to
see our children growing up with the way we desired them to be.