The Illusion of the Abyss

by Benjamin Rowe, copyright 1997

This piece was written for an English occult magazine. forget the title orignally put
on it !! something cle"erly pompous.
The wor# $abyss$ has seen wi#esprea# use in the occult community, with many
#ifferent meanings. n "arious times an# places it has been use# to represent
e"erything from the %hristian &ell to e'istential angst. n this century, among the
many occultists influence# by (leister %rowley, the term has ta)en on a specific
reference to the process of transcen#ence, the e"ents by which a person*s awareness
transforms from an in#i"i#ualize# state into a transcen#ental or $enlightene#$ state.
%rowley calle# this process $%rossing the (byss$.
%rowley*s #escription of the process is highly #ramatic an# e+ually i#iosyncratic. t is
also e'tremely "ague, consisting of a few symbols an# metaphors that he use#
throughout his life, without e"er attempting to e'pan# or e'plain them, or to e'plain
in #etail the relationship between the transcen#ental an# human le"els of being.
,erhaps this "agueness is the reason for it popularity- it pro"i#es a simple, easily!
graspe# image, howe"er mista)en it might be.
%rowley percei"e# the $(byss$ as a literal gap in the stuff of creation, separating the
human le"els of e'istence from the transcen#ental or #i"ine le"els. &e #escribes this
gap as a region of nullity an# terror, in which anything that enters is torn asun#er. .n
this much, he was following a long!establishe# theme in &ebrew cabalistic lore./ n
or#er to attain to enlightenment, the magician must $leap$ into this (byss, where his
human self is rippe# apart an# #estroye#. f he has establishe# enough momentum in
his climb towar#s the #i"ine le"els, then the #i"ine spar) in himself .free# from its
bin#ings to his human self/ will be carrie# o"er to the other si#e of the gap to become
a 0aster of the Temple, the magic)al gra#e e+ui"alent to the basic enlightene# state.
1omewhere along the way from one si#e to the other, %rowley says, the magician
must also confront an# temporarily become the $2emon of the (byss$, whose nature
is 2ispersion. %rowley name# this #emon %horonzon, a name for 1atan from the
wor)s of 2r. 3ohn 2ee- but the characteristics he assigns to the #emon owe more to
the $2weller on the Threshol#$ from Bulwer!4ytton*s Zanoni no"els. t is unclear
how this confrontation relates to the #estruction of the magician*s human self.
%rowley*s #escription of his own $crossing of the (byss$ is recor#e# in his boo) The
Vision and the Voice. The recor# conforms closely to his metaphor of the process.
&owe"er, his #epiction #isagrees in many ways with those pro"i#e# by other
enlightene# people across the years- it also #isagrees with my own e'perience of that
process, which was achie"e# through the same means %rowley use#5 3ohn 2ee*s
$Enochian$ magic)al system, couple# with the system of lore from the 6estern
tra#itions of ceremonial magic) an# the cabala.
7rom the perspecti"e of my own e'perience, the whole $(byss$ concept is nonsense.
There is no gap between the #i"ine an# human le"els of e'istence- the transcen#ent
being is alrea#y constantly present an# acti"e in e"ery person. 1ince this is the case,
there is nothing to $cross$ or $jump$. The #iscontinuity, to the e'tent there is one, is
entirely a matter of perspecti"e- the transcen#ent "iew is #ramatically #ifferent from
the 1elf!centere# "iew common to the lower le"els. But there is a constant connection
an# interaction between the #i"ine an# the human- they ma)e up a single, un#i"i#e#
system.
Rather than a separation, our normal lac) of awareness of the #i"ine aspect of
oursel"es is a matter of ignorance. Through ignorance, reinforce# by a lifetime of
con#itioning an# habit !! an# reinforce# e"en more by magic)al #isciplines !! the
transcen#ent being in a person is #elu#e# into belie"ing it is something that it is not5
an in#i"i#ualize# $self$ or $soul$, operating in the mun#ane worl# through the
me#ium of a personality mas). n its ignorance, it becomes so thoroughly i#entifie#
with this self .which is a constructe# thing/ that it becomes unaware that it is anything
other than that self. 8ou might thin) of it as a weir# sort of #harana or #eep
me#itation- a concentration on an object of me#itation .the self, in this case/ so intent
that the #ifference between the percei"er an# the percei"e# #isappears.
(chie"ing transcen#ence therefore is not a matter of creating a bri#ge o"er a gap, or
of leaping a gap, or anything of that sort. Rather, it is a matter of awa)ening the
alrea#y!present transcen#ent being from its state of i#entification with the self, getting
it to realize an# act from its natural state.
6hat it ta)es to #o this can "ary wi#ely. t might re+uire something a catastrophic as
the complete #estruction of the $self$, as in the typical (byss myth- but it coul#
e+ually be as subtle an# gentle as a breath of air slipping out through an open win#ow,
lea"ing the self completely intact. n my own case, it was somewhere between these
e'tremes. There were some long an# rather painful steps lea#ing up to it, but the final
e"ent was +uic), un#ramatic, an# utterly simple.
To put the e"ent in conte't, there are two main thrusts to the magic)al9cabalistic
approach to initiation. 7irst, through in"ocations, astral e'plorations, me#itation, etc.,
it see)s to open up the hi##en portions of the min# .both sub! an# superconscious/, to
bring their acti"ity un#er conscious #irection, an# to ma)e use of them to e'plore an#
percei"e the correspon#ing aspects of the uni"erse at large. The scope an# control
e'ercise# by the in#i"i#ual is constantly increase#, an# the "arious parts brought into
a state of tight coor#ination.
(t the same time, the cabalistic si#e of the wor) see)s to bring about an e"er!
increasing synthesis in the :contents: of the min#. Through the use of
correspon#ences, the chaos of raw e'perience is gra#ually re#uce#. #eas an#
e'periences get organize# into hierarchies, each le"el abstracting something from the
lower ones, so that e"er!greater numbers of e"ents become instances of e"er!simpler
i#eas. E"entually things coor#inate into an elegant system of archetypes, energies, an#
relationships.
By the time the person has achie"e# an# absorbe# the highest purely human le"el an#
become an $E'empt (#ept$, both these processes ha"e pretty much been e'hauste#.
Those parts of the person*s being that are capable of being controlle# an# coor#inate#
by the in#i"i#ual self are as integrate# as they are e"er going to be. The contents of
the min# ha"e been re#uce# to an integrate# scheme an# an encompassing
philosophy. &e is the %ompleat n#i"i#ual, so to spea). 1uch people !! as %rowley
notes !! ten# to become lea#ers of $schools of thought$ for sprea#ing their
philosophy- or they become priests or social lea#ers of some sort.
%rowley tal)s about the ne't stage of the process as if it were something to be
consciously #eci#e#- but in fact, if it happens out of anything e'cept necessity, the
person is probably jumping the gun. . shoul# note that the #escription that follows is
from my own e'perience, coor#inate# with a "ery few other people*s- your mileage
may "ary. (n# this applies only to the magic)al9cabalistic approach- it #oesn*t seem to
occur !! at least not with the same se"erity !! in the more mystical approaches of the
Eastern systems./
The E'empt (#ept now enters into a perio# of increasing $#ryness$, what call
$wan#ering in the wastelan#$, following the myth of the ;rail <nights . #on*t )now
how this associates with the so!calle# $#ar) night of the soul$ !! #escriptions of that
ne"er resonate for me. &e has reache# a point of #iminishing returns in both his
magic)al an# cabalistic en#ea"ors.
&is magic)al wor) still raises his consciousness abo"e its normal le"el- but instea# of
staying at that higher le"el, he always seems to fall bac) to the point where he starte#,
or a#"ances only the most minute increment !! far too little for the amount of effort
e'pen#e#. (n# such a#"ances as he ma)es e"entually turn out to be only "ariations on
what he has alrea#y accomplishe#, not something truly new. There seems to be some
sort of asymptotic principle in effect. Each increment he mo"es abo"e his current
le"el re+uires substantially larger amounts of effort- he can e'pen# all the energy at
his comman# without getting to a stable higher le"el.
( similar state e'ists with respect to his cabalistic wor). &e continues to ma)e
elaborations on his synthetic scheme, but fin#s that new a##itions an# e'pansions
#ecrease in fre+uency. (t the same time he becomes aware that there are aspects of
e'istence that cannot be fit into his present scheme without #estroying it utterly an#
starting o"er from scratch- he #oesn*t )now what these aspects are, e'actly, but he can
sense them looming o"er the horizon.
(n# his finely coor#inate# 1elf seems to be spinning its wheels in most of its
en#ea"ors. &e can still act out the functions of the E'empt (#ept, but gets less
pleasure an# fulfillment out of #oing so. &e can*t get a grip on things, on a way to use
this great 1elf of his- he feels li)e he is trying to act in a frictionless en"ironment.
The reason for all this is that the (#ept is loo)ing for something that isn*t there !! that
is, a continuation of the path as he has e'perience# it so far, with its blin#ing
re"elations, ecstatic highs, encompassing archetypes, etc. There just isn*t any more of
that, abo"e his current le"el- such things are characteristic of the human!accessible
magic)al realms, not the transcen#ent realms. But he #oesn*t )now that.
=ee#less to say, the (#ept in this situation is a pretty miserable character. =ot all the
time- usually he can go about his business in the character of the (#ept without any
#ifficulty. But perio#ically the futility of it all hits, an# the #espair an# #esperation
can reach incre#ible le"els of intensity. 6hat he wants, more than anything, is to get
>?T, without seeing any way of #oing so. 4i)e the mythical %hrist on his cross, he
calls out to his go#, an# gets no answer. (ll he can #o is suffer alone.
But e"en #espair has its limits- when nothing one #oes can ha"e any effect on the
situation, one e"entually just gi"es it up. &e gets beyon# hope of anything happening,
beyon# #espair that nothing is happening, an# just li"es life as it comes, without any
particular plans or e'pectations, without any #esire beyon# the moment. &e goes on
because that is what he #oes, an# for no purpose. This whole process can go on for a
long time. n my own case, the perio# of increasing #espair laste# o"er fi"e years, the
perio# of $just li"ing$ laste# another fi"e.
The actual awa)ening of transcen#ent being seems an anticlima' after the wastelan#
perio#. E"en now, four years after the fact, am uncertain e'actly what triggere# the
moment when it awo)e. (ll recall is that some chance remar) by a person in an
online #iscussion group cause# me to ma)e an assessment, an# the being note# that it
was no longer i#entical with the self, but was aware without #epen#ence upon the
facilities of the in#i"i#ualize# $soul$. t was now the no!thing!ness of Binah, instea#
of i#entifying with the #ifferentiate# acti"ities of the lower spheres. t coul# put the
self on, li)e a set of clothes, an# off again at will.
6hat happene# then is another story. But a few things to note5
!! 2espite being "ery unpleasant, there was no #estruction of the in#i"i#ualize# self
in"ol"e#- the transcen#ent being simply $steppe# out$ of it, lea"ing it more or less
intact, for the moment. ( rather substantial re!orientation of it too) place later, but it
was still un#amage#.
!! There was no $jumping into the (byss$- in fact, no (byss as such.
!! There was no confrontation with the 2emon %horonzon, or any other suppose#
$#enizen$ of the $(byss$. =o apparently e'ternal horrors of any sort, not e"en
%hthulhu.
!! =o particular in"ocations were in"ol"e# in triggering the e"ent. t too) place #uring
an hiatus in my Enochian wor), an# that wor) was #irecte# to other purposes in any
case.