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The Shift
Moving From Victim To Exploratory Self
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Copyright 2013 TJ Watkins
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Acknowledgments
Thank you to all the people in my life who made this
book a reality. I am forever humbled by the generosity
and support that you have all given me. I have been
only a conduit to deliver a message for something that
remains inexplicable to me.
To my dearest wife and spiritual partner - Kathy Cook.
From the moment we met I knew my life would never
be the same. You saw in me something that I was only
to discover later. Thank you for sitting through the life
storms and nurturing that tiny little bit of truth within me.
I also want to acknowledge my family in South Africa
with special mention to my mother Rosaline and sister
Benita who jointly raised me in a very harsh environ-
ment. Thank you to Aldo for clearing the difficult terrain
we had to cover in order for me to do this work - you
will always hold a soft space in my heart.
A special thank you goes to my greatest teacher, my
father PRO who lived life on his terms until the day he
passed in 2009. A million screams of gratitude go out
to you for the diamonds of learning you left behind. I
have nothing but love for you.
To a special teacher who showed up as a neighbor in
South Africa, Johnny Philippou, thank you for encour-
aging me to follow my heart. Your exact words to me
before I left South Africa: Follow your heart because
your mind will forgive you at the end.
Harry Viljoen and Magda, thank you for showing me
those aspects of life that make up the illusion of life.
Your generosity and exposure to life from a completely
different perspective colored my experiences in a pro-
found way.
I acknowledge my American family and friends with
special mention to my dearest friend Lisette Fowler
who exposed me to the world of writing and literature.
Your gift of friendship is priceless. Marcus Basquez,
I love you like a brother thank you for welcoming
me to the United States. Marcus Gallon, thank you
for being an exploratory partner. Joy Crisologo, thank
you for your amazing heart and spirit. Bill and Andrea
Cook, thank you both for being such active supporters
of Kathy and me. We love you. To all my clients at The
Next Level Coaching, you are by far my most constant
real life teachers. Thank you for sharing your lives with
me.
Contents
Acknowledgments ................................................. iii
Part 1: Foundation .................................................. 1
Chapter 1: Introduction ........................................ 3
Chapter 2: Mind modes........................................ 6
Chapter 3: Personal responsibility ...................... 16
Part 2: Perspectives that activate
the exploratory mind ................................ 21
Chapter 4: Purpose............................................. 22
Chapter 5: Nothing is missing ............................ 26
Chapter 6: Savior ............................................... 30
Chapter 7: Chasing it.......................................... 34
Chapter 8: Being equal....................................... 40
Chapter 9: Failure............................................... 45
Chapter 10: Hope ................................................ 50
Chapter 11: Letting go .......................................... 55
Part 3: Final Thoughts ........................................... 59
Chapter 11: What happened? ............................... 60
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PART 1
FOUNDATION
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CHAP T E R
1
INTRODUCTION
The central theme of this book first appeared in my
mind when I was writing a blog in Starbucks. I felt an
energy surge through my body and this intense pres-
ence just began dropping main ideas onto a Word
document. When I was done, a few hours had passed.
I remember running to my close friend at his nearby
business and showing him the outline and he just
looked at me like I was losing my mind. In retrospect,
I probably was and three plus years later the book was
completed.
When I began writing this book I sincerely thought
it would be a short-term project. So how exactly did
short-term turn into three plus years? Its actually very
simple: every chapter I wrote had to be realized in my
own life. I had to live every aspect of each of these
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THE SHI FT
chapters, experience the pain and delight, then unmask
what was really at the root of it. There were moments
when life got pretty intense in my head and in actual
physical experiences, but this soothing voice kept com-
forting me.
During this process I explored every mainstream mind
pattern that entrenches the belief that we need to
become more in order to be more and that we are
somehow separate. What I found is paradoxically dis-
heartening and strangely freeing, since it aligns with
inner knowing. In this book I reveal those findings; it
will dishearten most who read it and will challenge
every existing belief, even those deemed sacred. If
what you read challenges you, ask the question: What
is my mind hiding?
Every time I was challenged by what the page revealed
I was forced to conjure up the courage to go into my
own dark places to see what my mind was hiding.
During these periods this book never left me; the sense
that I had to write this book became a scream in my
head and a pain in my heart every time I attempted to
put it on hold. In some moments I loved writing but I
was never quite ready for the pain and self-inquiry it
evoked in other moments.
5
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I NTRODUCTI ON
)
I would like to tell you that I embodied every aspect
of what I wrote about in this book when I began this
journey but it would simply not be true. I wrestled my
negative mind patterns while writing this book. My
appetite for control, perfection, self-image and ambi-
tion are some of the things that had to die in order for
this book to live. In this process I surrendered, gave up
the fight and walked away with a deafening silence that
is with me every moment.
When I began writing this book I observed how my
thoughts of success as an author and speaker domi-
nated my mind. Now Ive found something that I was
not ready to find: an anchor of sorts where noth-
ing really moves beyond this moment even though I
observe my mind rushing ahead. The big difference is
I no longer follow it. Its a strange thing to explain so I
will stop and invite you to explore with me those con-
ditioned mind patterns that keep us from living what
we know, truly know.
I applaud your courage and trust that the energy that
anointed me during this process likewise anoints you.
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6
CHAP T E R
2
MIND MODES
WHAT IS A MIND MODE?
A mind mode refers to a particular mental pattern that
operates consciously or unconsciously within each of
us right now. When we are aware of our current mind
mode we have an opportunity to uncover the uncon-
scious fears, motives and conditioned patterns that
underlie our actions.
When an action is born out of conscious awareness, it
is a response rooted in responsible choice. However,
it can only be made through an exploration into all
the dynamics that bring these situations to life. On the
other hand, an action born from the unconscious is a
reaction. It operates from the most superficial layers of
the mind; it is the manifestation of a preprogrammed
conclusion and is devoid of investigation.
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MI ND MODES
)
A reaction happens quickly almost without thinking
because it is predetermined and therefore automatic.
Whereas a response assimilates the situation and crafts
a custom solution that aligns with an inner knowing that
delivers a conscious outcome. A response is rooted in
exploration. Life situations that appear similar on the
surface may differ upon closer scrutiny. Only an aware
mind can make this distinction.
Fortunately, every human being has the gift of aware-
ness. Whether we choose to ignore it or give it life,
it is always with us. When we ignore awareness and
its intuitive guidance, we perpetuate our programmed
patterns and continue to create pain-filled outcomes.
When we give life to awareness and follow its guid-
ance, we create authentic experiences.
Being aware is like having a digital recording device
that constantly captures events in our life. We may
not always be cognizant of it, but it keeps recording.
Awareness allows us instantaneous insight into the ele-
ments present and uses our intuitive guidance voice
to direct us to the best possible solution. This mecha-
nism works perfectly every time and would allow for
a struggle-free life if it were not for the competing
voice of a fear-based mind filled with preprogrammed
ideas about how things should be. Our conditioned
voice screams at us to dismiss anything that does not
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THE SHI FT
fit neatly into its small box. A fiction-based reality feeds
resistance to the new and ignores what is genuine.
Awareness distinguishes between truth and fiction. If
we suddenly find ourselves in a burning house, our
immediate response is to flee without giving the idea
too much thought. Awareness clears the path for us
to run to safety. If, however, you have a strong belief
that a house constructed from certain materials will not
burn quickly, then the reality of that burning house will
meet your idealized belief and a clear path to safety
will be difficult to find.
Awareness can also identify a threat days or even
months before it is brought to life; we can mentally
know a relationship will end long before it finally does.
Many people are aware of the outcomes of certain
behaviors years before they investigate them to the
degree that enables them to choose different behaviors
and, by extension, different outcomes.
While external threats like fire and flood are easily iden-
tified through the five senses, internal threats like fear
of failure are less tangible and more difficult to identify.
Recognizing them depends on being aware of the sixth
sense, our intuitive guidance voice. Unfortunately, noise
in our mind often drowns out sixth sense messages
with pain-inducing repercussions. The five senses are
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MI ND MODES
)
more acute when the sixth sense is enabled; when it is
not, they can be manipulated and subsequently distort
the world around us.
TWO MIND MODES
We have two very distinct mind modes: the condi-
tioned mode and the exploratory mode. We endlessly
move between these two mind modes, but the mind
mode in which we spend most of our time determines
the quality of our life experiences.
When we become aware of our mind modes we can
observe the outcomes they produce without judging
them. Judging outcomes abruptly stops us from see-
ing what lies beneath the surface. If the outcomes
produced are not what we desire, we can choose dif-
ferent outcomes by investigating how we created them,
thereby shifting mind modes. Investigation creates the
shift from the conditioned to the exploratory mode. It
is important to see that the two mind modes operate
within one mind and are not separate. One is not bet-
ter or worse than the other; each one just produces
distinctly different outcomes.
THE CONDITIONED MIND MODE
The conditioned mind is also known as the victim,
default, diseased or unconscious mind. It is a fear-based
mind construct comprised of infinite mind patterns
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THE SHI FT
generated from eons of programming. Such mind pat-
terns are collectively inherited unconscious ideas that
are present in every individual. Differences lie only in
how these patterns are combined into different recipes.
The self we have come to identify as I is simply a par-
ticular recipe of collective, inherited conditioned ideas
and is only a distraction from our essence. It is impera-
tive to decode our unique repertoire of conditioned
patterns because this inquiry reveals the essential truth
that lives within each of us.
Not embarking on an exploration allows the collective
and individual unconscious ideas to perpetuate from
one generation to another, evolving into forms that are
the most conducive for survival. Without examination,
we continue to fuel old fears, prejudices, anger and
violence. The primary activities of the collective uncon-
scious remain unchanged: fabricating stories based on
assumptions, rationalizing through excuses, judging
others, self-judgment and making comparisons.
Making up stories and excuses are not standard fea-
tures at birth, but are programmed into us. As we
advance through our infancy and expand our horizons,
we are exposed to others who, by withholding accep-
tance and love, introduce us to the ways in which they
have been conditioned. We adopt their fears, ideals,
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MI ND MODES
)
methodologies and beliefs, which serves a great pur-
pose for that period. As we mature, those fears, ideals
and beliefs become entrenched and we are unwilling
to explore outside those parameters. Whenever we
place greater value in the beliefs and experiences of
others and discount our own exploration, we compro-
mise our inner knowing and force ourselves into the
silence and compliance of a conditioned mind.
Our conditioning creates separation. It segregates peo-
ple according to race, religion, sexual orientation and
class with the goal of judging others as less than or bet-
ter than. It assigns labels to make the separation lines
clear so that the conditioned mind can quickly and
easily cast judgment. If judgment becomes habitual,
those in the conditioned mind mode will use labels as
justification for advancing and protecting their point of
view.
The conditioned mind mode is in a constant state of
flux, shifting between past and future, compelling us
to see the world through the lens of how we would
like things to be. It magnifies the ideal and hides what
is by disguising it with a powerful pain-filled story that
serves as the conditioned minds attack dog, guarding
the gates of investigation.
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THE SHI FT
Our conditioned mind lives freely in each of us until
we become aware of its existence. It is the source of
all the pain in our life because it resists all that is new.
It turns human beings into human doings, constantly
working to be more valuable and lovable. When we
are in the conditioned mind mode we fall victim to the
collective lie that we are not whole and complete right
now. Yet, the most amazing gift of the conditioned
mind mode is that it lives in conflict with what is and
that ultimately generates so much pain and suffering
that we are forced to surrender and face that knowing
within us.
THE EXPLORATORY MIND MODE
The exploratory mind mode lives in service of our spirit,
feeds our natural curiosity and is rooted in our love-
based essence. It gives us access to vast possibilities by
being a direct plug-in to imagination, creativity, sponta-
neity and previously unseen dimensions. It allows us to
uncover aspects of existence that are overt and subtle,
tangible and intangible and its immersion in what is, is
the gateway into all inquiry.
As babies, we spend our time in the exploratory mind
mode. Through experimentation that features many
falls, we transition from crawling to walking, grasping
how our physical world operates. Effortless discovery is
our reward for following our natural curiosity.
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MI ND MODES
)
During our adult phase, living in the exploratory mode
creates an overarching knowing, peace and excite-
ment. It opens us to explore beyond physical reality
with an innate sense that there is more to see than what
is being revealed. As we follow this knowing, we culti-
vate a deep trust in our intuition, which breaks the seal
on our conditioning and is a gateway to our love-based
essence.
The exploratory mode can be described as swimming
with the current of life. In this flow our dreams flourish
and the inner guidance voice speaks directly from our
heart. It promises no final destination, just the opportu-
nity to visit unexplored landscapes and to experience
a vast array of inner dimensions. In this mode we sum-
mon the courage to walk directly into the fear and pain
of the unknown.
Waking up to our conditioning patterns and choosing
not to feed them teaches us how to experience pain
without suffering. Pain turns to suffering when we feel
powerless; in the exploratory mode, we feel powerful.
Learning to surrender fully and to be immersed in the
various aspects of suffering shifts the mind mode from
victim to exploratory, and suffering disappears.
In the exploratory mode each fresh experience blends
perfectly with another; the magic of the perfect answer
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THE SHI FT
to a heart-based question leaves us breathless in its
wake. It would appear that the whole universe con-
spires to show us love and beauty, like walking into a
flower shop where the entire staff falls all over them-
selves to show us their most beautiful offerings.
When we are in the exploratory mode we are home.
So relax, put your feet up and enjoy each experience
for what it is. Stop distorting authentic experiences by
introducing external ideals. Everything is perfect as is
when judgment ceases. Right now there is nothing to
do except just being aware. Is what you see now really
even there?
The only relevant tense is the present, and it contains
everything that is. It is the confluence of time dimen-
sions, where all thoughts of what should be or what
was disappear. It holds nothing in memory and some-
how endlessly extracts the new out of the intelligence
of the universe. Our life illuminates and we see the
conditioned mind patterns that silently create many
pain-filled life situations.
For some, an exploration will be the first opportunity
to see their conditioned mind patterns. For others, their
conditioning will remain the norm and their suffering
will continue because they have rendered themselves
powerless in the face of their preprogrammed mind
patterns.
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MI ND MODES
)
The present is where consciousness meets condition-
ing and where the point of real choice is revealed. In
the following chapters, let us explore how our mind
patterns govern our experiences.
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16
CHAP T E R
3
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
All of us know people who continually blame others for
every possible thing that has gone wrong in their lives.
They tend to be those who notice everyones short-
comings but fail to see their own. We feel exasperated
when we witness their self-entitlement behavior and
dialogue, and our frustration is a strong energy indica-
tor that we are in the company of someone besieged
by the victim mind.
On the other hand, those who accept personal respon-
sibility demonstrate acceptance of their choices and
resulting outcomes. They acknowledge that they are at
the root of all that is manifested in their lives through
the decisions they make in every moment. The power
of accepting personal responsibility cannot be overem-
phasized because it forms the foundation of a healthy
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PERSONAL RESPONSI BI LI TY
)
human being and it courses through our psychological,
emotional, physical and spiritual bodies.
Not too long ago, a client of mine was facing some
challenges with anger. During a coaching session she
asked me, Why in the hell do I have to sit here and
explore my anger episode? When I answered, To see
step by step how you create the drama in your life,
she just laughed at the seemingly ridiculous notion that
from start to finish, she is responsible. This is the natu-
ral reaction of someone whose mind attempts to hide
culpability; in the conditioned mode, our minds do this
all the time, making it very easy to blame others for our
painful life situations.
Redirecting the client to remain open and explore her
angry outbursts with me, we repeated the phrase, I
am responsible, a few times to jump-start the explo-
ration into the details of her actions leading up to her
latest display of anger. We uncovered that the two pre-
vious days had been filled with built-up repression and
compromise in both her professional and personal life,
eventually reaching a tipping point.
My client recognized that when her anger explodes in
her personal life it is because she does not speak up in
her professional life. When that compromise spills over
into her personal life where it is safe to blow up, that is
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THE SHI FT
precisely what she does. It was remarkable to see the
shift in her thinking from denial to acceptance of her
actions. Accepting personal responsibility is simple:
Recognize your role in creating outcomes and own it,
no excuses.
All of us have our own recipes for creating the out-
comes in our lives. They run the gamut from not being
able to be in a committed relationship to an inability
to live a healthy lifestyle to remaining in jobs that bor-
der on self-abuse. Accepting personal responsibility
for creating these outcomes and remaining open to
exploring our particular method of creation is criti-
cal to making different choices. But in actual practice
accepting personal responsibility is very difficult and
scary, especially if weve been rewarded for not being
responsible.
Deepening the investigation with my client, we sought
the true emotional driver behind her reactions. We dis-
covered that her fear of abandonment legitimized in
her mind by her father leaving her family when she
was very young prevents her from being completely
honest in her work and personal relationships. She
continually adjusts what she says to ensure that her
audience will accept and not reject her. The stain of
her fathers rejection cements her belief that she has
no value. Her insecurities, constantly fed by a negative
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PERSONAL RESPONSI BI LI TY
)
inner dialogue, create inner turmoil and confusion that
unfold in her daily life.
The point of sharing my clients situation is not to dem-
onstrate a method for exploration, but to emphasize the
importance of assuming personal responsibility for all
that shows up in our lives. Without it, the exploratory
mind mode is not engaged and no new discoveries
about our conditioning can be uncovered. If we are not
aware of external and internal patterns of condition-
ing, we exist in the conditioned mind mode where life
happens to us rather than recognizing that we are the
producers and directors of all our experiences.
The concept of being responsible for how we experi-
ence life runs counter to many of our religion-based
conditioned beliefs, but it is the basis of the explor-
atory mind mode. It challenges archaic mindsets and
tears down traditional thought structures that impede
our ability to expand and grow. Accepting personal
responsibility switches on the lights in our life and we
see everything as is. In the absence of personal respon-
sibility, we live in the dark where truth is hidden behind
the veil of what we would like things to be.
Today, I invite you to accept personal responsibility for
all that is showing up in your life. Some things show up
because of a conscious invitation while others arrive
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THE SHI FT
through conditioned mind patterns like uninvited
guests. Self-awareness illuminates your life, and what
you will find may be messy and seemingly unaccept-
able, but just allow all of it to be without wanting it to
be any different. The first step to accepting personal
responsibility is waking up to what is.
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PART 2
PERSPECTIVES
THAT ACTIVATE THE
EXPLORATORY MIND
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22
CHAP T E R
4
PURPOSE
When we ask the question, What is my purpose? we
are bombarded with tons of conditioned ideas about
what purpose means, how to find it and which formu-
las will help us uncover it. Today, self-help experts and
religious leaders tell us that our life has purpose, but
only when we adhere to their strict prerequisites or to
socially accepted standards. When we obey the rules
set for us by others, our life is deemed on purpose;
when we do not, it is off purpose. Being on purpose
or off purpose therefore depends on what criteria we
allow to define us.
It is important to know that criteria-based purpose is
only a mental concept born from conditioning and
conflicts with what is. We live long periods of our lives
following ideas of what we should be and completely
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PURPOSE
)
ignore who we truly are. The idea that we should be
slender or successful or wealthy induces acute pain
when we look in the mirror and see that the reality is
something completely different. The conditioned mind
interprets our reflection as less than or not acceptable;
it is only when we surrender judgment and accept what
is staring back at us that we begin to glimpse behind
the curtain of the conditioned mind.
No one needs a purpose to make it through the day.
Awakening to the truth that our life is always on pur-
pose relieves the burden associated with the fear that
as is, we are not good enough. We will feel uncomfort-
able taking our first steps outside the societal herd, but
allow the fear to be there and feel its accompanying
sense of loss for the time and energy we have invested
in our purpose quest. Do we need a life purpose in
order to be truly successful? And what does success
really mean? These questions point to the dilemma of
living from our conditioned mind.
One morning a client of mine, a highly educated and
intelligent stay-at-home mom, expressed her desire
to find her lifes purpose. I looked at her and felt her
despair, self-judgment and confusion. She went on to tell
me about successful friends who live in San Francisco
with their fancy job titles and overpriced homes and
how, in comparison, her life is so uninteresting and
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THE SHI FT
meaningless. I asked her how this affects her role as
a mom, and she explained that the search to find her
purpose creates much frustration within her and some-
times even an emotional absence from her kids.
When I told her, Your life is already on purpose and
it is here, staring you in the face, she looked at me
with an expression like, Yeah, right. I asked her if
the choice to have kids was a conscious one, and she
replied, Yes. Then I said, So you chose to have kids
and created the life you envisioned rather than choos-
ing to continue a career in the big city; if you had, then
you would be living it.
She started smiling, so I continued our investigation by
asking her what her vision is for her three children ages
1-7. She began explaining what she envisioned for them
at the various stages of their lives and as she continued
she suddenly became very emotional: Oh my god I
just saw it. This is it, my purpose; this was my dream.
What am I thinking? My babies; sorry, thank you,
thank you. After she calmed down, she explained that
whenever she goes to visit her friends in San Francisco,
she loses her focus and starts thinking that their lives
have more meaning than her own. I explained, This
is the illusion of comparison, and if your friends are
comparing themselves to you, they might be envious
of you, too.
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PURPOSE
)
Many will read this and feel that the undercurrent of
their lives is the familiar sense of meaninglessness.
Let this be ok. Do not fight it or attempt to change it;
just relax into accepting it with all your being. What
we discover is that the thunder of our inadequacies is
nothing but the noise of a fear-induced mind storm.
Giving up the search for purpose and its spirit-defeat-
ing imagery opens our hearts to the soothing breeze of
self-acceptance.
The great news is that we cannot screw this up. Our
purpose is always present, staring back at us. No con-
ditioned rules, ideas or behaviors required. Attempting
to define purpose by the outward manifestations of
ridiculous external standards is like trying to contain
an ocean in a bottle. At this moment, you are a vast
ocean, valuable beyond measure and living a life that
is solidly and always on purpose.
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CHAP T E R
5
NOTHING IS MISSING
We have all heard these words in the self-help world:
You are whole and complete now. They point to some-
thing within us that transcends the material world and is
the underlying truth of our life. Yet for many, these words
are meaningless because focusing on physical reality as
absolute makes our truth impossible to see.
If we have been taught that only what we can see and
touch is real, then tangible things reassure our ego.
Such a belief system neuters our dreams, creativity and
our direct connection to the infinite intelligence, as we
allow our direct experience of life to become limited
by the conditioned mind mode.
Those who allow touch, smell, taste, sight and hearing
to direct their lives are easily manipulated. Everything
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NOTHI NG I S MI SSI NG
)
appears to be one way, but upon closer examination
another reality is brought to light. From the outside,
our bodies look like a collection of skin, bones and
muscles but when we observe the body under a micro-
scope we see that it is nothing but trillions of cells.
When we optimize our view of the cells further we
uncover all the elements that it embodies. Continuing
the investigation we discover that all cells facilitate
energy flow. It not only travels within cells but also
beyond physical limits it is like the wind that animates
every living organism. This energy is our root. It is
therefore our responsibility to investigate and uncover
how energy enters and exits our physical body. This
happens through either fear or love.
We are surrounded by the energy of fear-based pro-
paganda that tells us that we are not enough. We are
indoctrinated into believing that there is something
fundamentally wrong with us and that we are tainted at
birth, ideas that get reinforced daily through the manip-
ulation of our five senses. Religion tells us we need
a savior because of our sins, billboards remind us of
our lack of beauty and we subsequently tell ourselves
that we must meet some standard to be acceptable
and lovable. We surrender our personal power to
these compelling lies that seem to have unlimited evi-
dence to support their case. Simultaneously, there is a
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THE SHI FT
knowing deep inside us that points to our wholeness
and completeness now: love energy.
It shows up in the moment judgment is discarded and
the mind shifts. Suddenly we very clearly see things that
at first did not appear to be there. A popular Internet
optical illusion image is the Rubins vase that appears
on the cover of this book. In one moment we only see
the vase and then a shift occurs and the two faces gaz-
ing at each other appear while the mind phases out the
vase. We know both images exist in the same image
but the mind can only reveal one image at a time.
When one is only willing to see the vase the mind has
great difficulty shifting to reveal the two faces gazing at
each other. When the mind becomes willing and open
all is revealed and we can shift with ease between the
images.
This is also true for holding on to the belief that some-
thing is wrong with us. When we abandon self-judgment
and its conditioned mind patterns, we become recep-
tive to seeing our wholeness and completeness now.
Judgment, particularly self-judgment, serves only as an
obstruction to seeing what is. Self-judgment reaps jeal-
ousy, anger, irreverence and hatred. On the other hand,
if we filter self-doubt through our exploratory mind
mode, it will spark an investigation that will expose the
conditioned lies. Shifting to the exploratory mind mode
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NOTHI NG I S MI SSI NG
)
reveals both the truth of what is and the lie of what we
would like things to be.
The moment is here. Recognize what has always been
right under our noses: nothing is missing, and as is, we
are enough. Be vigilant not to feed conditioned mind
patterns that highlight our shortcomings and mistakes.
Stop giving a platform to the fear-loaded energy of
people who spread the lies of how we are less than
and in need of saving; they are blinded by their own
fears and insecurities. Stop listening to the naysayers,
those logical and anxious liars.
There is no need to go in search of our wholeness nor
are there any criteria to meet. The next time you see
a child joyfully playing alone, fully present with his or
her imagination, stop. Let that child point us back to the
dreams we abandoned when we grew up. Lets embrace
our love energy and experience the wholeness that is
the natural beauty of life. Live in the sure knowledge
that nothing is missing from our life and experience
abundant love, peace, joy and compassion. Ignore it
and feel the pain of living a secondhand life filled with
fear, insecurity, judgment and incompleteness.
)
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CHAP T E R
6
SAVIOR
In almost every context the savior refers to some exter-
nal being that will deliver us from pain and suffering.
It has strong religious roots and seemingly overwhelm-
ing biblical evidence that emphasizes this need. The
major problem with this belief is that it presupposes
that something is fundamentally missing or wrong with
us. Since this is a belief, we know it is mind-created
and therefore limited due to conditioning.
The reality is we have many saviors that include reli-
gious beliefs, having more money, a spiritual guru, a
high-powered job, a beautiful body, a luxury car or an
ideal relationship. The savior is anything or anyone that
we believe will deliver us from our pain whether it is
physical, psychological or spiritual. It promises some
kind of completeness, peace, security or joy, but ulti-
mately never delivers.
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SAVI OR
)
It is a fabrication, the band-aid on the broken leg
approach. The band-aid stops some of the bleed-
ing and provides temporary relief, but does nothing
to address the underlying condition: the broken leg.
In this case the underlying condition is the belief that
there is something fundamentally wrong with us and
that somehow we are not whole and complete. The
band-aid is the temporary fix of religion, more money,
an ideal relationship or a superior physical body.
Most people follow this approach even though some
may realize its a flawed idea. For them it is easier and
more acceptable to look for the savior externally than
to face the inescapable pain of assuming personal
responsibility. It is much more appealing to the ego
to bow before an invisible force to whom we relegate
our personal responsibility. But in the meantime we
continue living a fear-based existence, perpetuating
pain-filled conditioning patterns based on judgment,
jealousy, envy and violence.
Uncovering the savior within means becoming aware
of the conditioned mind patterns that are running our
life. It is accepting that through our accommodations
of certain beliefs and ideas that weve created massive
pain in our life and in the lives of those people we
claim to love.
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The savior is not just some external force, it is us when
we stop all judgment, accept personal responsibility
and choose to act in alignment with our natural love-
based essence.
It is exceptionally disappointing to the conditioned
mind when this is revealed. No external mystical
force, romantic notion or lavish story of being saved
or overcoming huge obstacles, just a shift to accept-
ing personal responsibility, ceasing all judgment and
acting in alignment with our intuitive guidance voice.
Ultimately, the real disappointment is discovering that
we are responsible for creating every ounce of pain in
our life and our search for an external savior with its
false promises of security and indemnification not only
accommodates but actively creates more pain.
Many of us have had the experience of blaming one
person for all of the hardship in our life, usually a par-
ent or spouse. As we continue through life we may
wake up and discover that the time and energy it takes
to keep the blame and hatred alive is simply too much
and we give it up. And in giving it up a new reality is
revealed. A reality that is so clear that it literally breaks
ones heart open. This giving up and opening of the
heart is the mystical force at play, silent and effective
just like the rising sun.
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SAVI OR
)
Our open heart then sheds light on the deepest and
longest cries of our life. All the time and energy weve
spent judging that parent and spouse was time spent
looking in the mirror. Everything weve called them is
what weve called ourselves and every judgment weve
held was a judgment against us but all along the mind
was hiding this, until we give it up. All this happening
while waiting for the savior to deliver us from this life
situation, and it does, just that it is not the external one,
but the true one that lives within each of us.
For many this experience is only brought to light upon
the passing of a parent or spouse and the physical giv-
ing up is forced. Those who accept this and give up
all the victim stories are flooded with new realizations
and love. But others feel the thrust of the loss so much
and the influx of so many realizations, that the guilt
and shame of their judgment once again drops them
into more victim stories and an extended mourning
process. The way out of this is to go within; meet the
savior.
The savior is you, its always been you. To experience
it, accept personal responsibility, stop all judgment and
act in alignment with that inner-guidance voice, your
natural love-based essence.
)
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CHAP T E R
7
CHASING IT
Chasing it describes the fear-based energy that spurs
us to attain certain goals in the hope that they will
somehow impart self-worth. It manifests in the form of
anxiety, aggressive behavior, irreverence and dishon-
esty, but is packaged as healthy ambition. Many of us
have had the experience of chasing a goal, usually with
an accompanying story of how this is a once in a life-
time opportunity.
The fear ignited by the possibility of it being the one
golden opportunity that we cannot afford to lose is the
hallmark of the chasing it energy. When we hear or
feel these words reverberating through our being we
must recognize that our conditioned mind is fabricat-
ing a story that promises self-worth and significance.
The problem is that it rarely if ever delivers it for more
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CHASI NG I T
)
than a moment before the next big thing shows up,
ready for the chase.
When I first arrived in California in 2005, I worked with
a client who was doing really well in the real estate
boom. He kept telling me how this was the last chance
for anybody to own property in California, even though
home prices were ridiculously high. I repeatedly asked
him why he thought that this was such a great time for
folks to own a home, and he would always reply that
home prices would keep rocketing upwards. When I
suggested that income levels did not match or could
not sustain the high artificial homeownership rate in
our area which indicated a future market correction
he treated me like I was an idiot. Shortly after that,
he moved to a more prestigious neighborhood and our
time together ended.
Four years later, when the real estate market crashed
and the USA faced the biggest economic crisis since
the Great Depression, I was sitting in a friends nutrition
store and my former client walked through the door.
He was almost unrecognizable: he had gained 50 plus
pounds and he no longer had that confident spring in
his step. He told me that he had lost his real estate
business with 40 plus agents; his creditors were suing
him; and he was living in an apartment with his wife
and two kids. He went on to list his health problems
)
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THE SHI FT
and some other personal losses he had suffered since I
had last seen him.
My ex-client is an example of someone who chased it.
He enjoyed the prestige but did not pay close enough
attention to the conditioned mind patterns preva-
lent at that time; he was unaware of what was really
happening. He allowed himself to be blinded by the
fear-based ambition trap that sabotaged his personal
integrity and professional judgment. When we chase
it, the present reality of our life is hidden by the condi-
tioned mind because we deem it so unacceptable that
we spend most of our time escaping into the future
promise of things. That means chasing more money, a
bigger house, more successful friends and the elusive
emotional reward: self-value.
In this state, we become completely absorbed by the
conditioned dream that was placed in our minds by
a series of outside influences. We are willing to do
almost anything to achieve it regardless of legalities,
value systems or moral codes. Eventually, it becomes
so all-consuming that we are compelled to sacrifice our
personal relationships, and we will justify our actions
under the guise of being misunderstood, especially by
those closest to us.
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CHASI NG I T
)
The goals we chase arise from our programming and
are conditioned schemes rather than heart-based
dreams. Many young people today chase after fame
because it promises lavish lifestyles and social signifi-
cance. The seeming ease, lack of talent and work ethic
it requires make it even more attractive. These con-
ditioned dreams are the magic pills to those who are
unwilling to explore beneath the surface and are abso-
lutely real to those chasing it.
So how do we distinguish between a heart-based
dream and a conditioned scheme? A conditioned
scheme is a forgery of a hearts dream. It is born from
conditioning and promises a powerful emotional and
material reward. Most people chase money in order to
feel a particular emotion, not because they want mil-
lions of dollar bills. They construct a compelling story
of how they will be more significant and valuable by
having more stuff and before long they have a condi-
tioned dream in their minds.
On the other hand, a hearts dream is something that
we are born with and it emanates from a different
dimension, our love-based essence. It lingers in our
imagination for years with an accompanying know-
ing that we cannot explain. As we make small efforts
to feed that hearts dream and as it begins to blossom
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THE SHI FT
into reality, the knowing grows stronger and the pic-
ture becomes more vivid in the minds eye. Before long
opportunities arise that put us within striking distance
of achieving our hearts dream. The process, however,
requires that this hearts dream be tested by a series
of obstacles that ultimately demonstrates our trust in
the knowing. This is the path of those who embark on
creating their hearts dream.
Following a hearts dream does not require chasing it.
In fact, chasing it repels a hearts dream; it shifts the
energy from love to fear. The knowing that the hearts
dream already exists and is indeed manifesting is the
foundation. All we need to do is nurture it by following
the guidance steps that appear every time we fol-
low through on the previous guidance step; a natural
sequence exists. On the other hand, when we chase
it, no knowing is present, only a million mind-created
ego-based musts and should stories. In the chasing it
mindset we exert so much physical and mental energy
that the exhaustion and total cost ultimately make the
reward pointless.
The moment we stop chasing it, the struggle disap-
pears. The conditioned ideas that govern our every
moment subside and create the space for creativity and
imagination to re-emerge in our psyche. The energy
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CHASI NG I T
)
then shifts from worry, anxiety, anger and jealousy to
peace, reverence, ease and love. Difficulty will arise,
but will be met by immense creative energy.
The what is, is the foundation of a hearts dream. When
we occupy the exploratory mind mode, we recognize
that the source of our dreams resonates from within
each of us. It takes the form of a life vision with an intu-
itive guidance voice that directs our path. We attract
the right people and circumstances that help us real-
ize our hearts dreams. We no longer need to chase
conditioned dreams: we simply settle into the now and
follow the next step that our inner guidance reveals.
)
40
CHAP T E R
8
BEING EQUAL
Living in America one would be hard-pressed to escape
the constant heated debates about being equal. Some
advocate equal rights for women, minorities, gays and
lesbians while others, usually those who deem them-
selves superior and morally right, can easily argue their
case for why such equality is not warranted. Yet, this
surface fight is really not that compelling compared to
what it underlies.
The underlying issue in every conflict about equal-
ity, whether it happens on the world stage or in our
personal relationships, is simple. What is our focus? If
the focus is directed on the surface level then condi-
tioning or old ideas will rule. An old idea that women
are lesser than men or a man should be the provider
will not pose a problem for anyone who has had that
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BEI NG EQUAL
)
conditioning. But it will create conflict and resistance
when this old idea meets current realities of female
success and stay-at-home dads.
When our focus is directed to a deeper level, recogniz-
ing a fellow soul mate on the path of life changes the
game because we surrender all external power. This
vulnerability is the connection, the plug-in to the uni-
versal oneness. When we make this connection it will
become increasingly difficult and eventually impos-
sible to wish anything but what we would wish for our
most loved for everyone. This is the choice we face
every day.
On the other hand when we direct our focus to the sur-
face we see only whats missing and different in others.
We advertise how their beliefs are skewed and how
differently they look and speak. And since they are so
different it is easy to justify marginalizing them. Yes,
we marginalize and threaten anyone who dares ask for
any form of equality. This is what fear does every day
all over the world.
The choice to be equal compels us to look beyond the
physical and connect with the soul of another. When
we connect with the soul of another our judgment of
how they show up disappears, and makes room for
a loving and compassionate experience. In such an
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THE SHI FT
interaction everyone is present and aware of the love
flow that is taking place. It allows everyone in the
space to be accepted and loved as is. Only an idea
born in the conditioned mind can stop this flow. And
it does this by disconnecting from the soul of another
and focusing all the energy on physical and ideological
differences.
When we are in the conditioned mind mode we with-
hold from others that which we would not want to be
withheld from us. We will give rights and privileges
to some and not to others but we will insist we are
the same. To live equal is the highest challenge to ego
because the fear and conditioned mind patterns that
keep inequality in play are so strong that only aware-
ness of it can begin to offer an opportunity to see and
maybe change it.
In a relationship of equals the roles are constantly
changing. Husbands become stay-at-home dads and
wives become leaders of industry; teachers become
students and students become teachers. This allows for
the relationships to expand and to bring forth even more
self-knowledge that ultimately flowers into our spiri-
tual growth. It requires a shift to our exploratory mind
mode to create an equal relationship. In this mode we
are willing and open to see those things that are hidden
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BEI NG EQUAL
)
by conditioned beliefs and ideas and their respective
emotional drivers that color our life experiences.
When we look at equality through the lens of the
conditioned mind mode then equality becomes sub-
ject to preprogrammed thinking. This means old ideas
of equality remain intact: the same judgments, ideas
and labeling. This is best seen playing itself out in the
same-sex marriage debate. The old idea that marriage
is reserved for a man and a woman is colliding with
the reality of same-sex couples now seeking the same
right.
When we filter same-sex marriage through an explor-
atory mind mode then no problem exists because the
exploration reveals what is and addresses that reality
with a logical solution, free from judgment. When we
filter it through the conditioned mind that is governed
by fear and judgment then this new reality poses a great
threat. This threat can, however, only be seen for what
it really is if we have the awareness to identify it within
us as our programming. But we can only uncover our
programming while in the exploratory mode, which
means that a shift has to occur. And this shift comes in
two ways: voluntarily or through massive pain.
When we volunteer for the shift to happen, we open
up and begin to accept previously unacceptable things.
)
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THE SHI FT
If we choose the massive pain route then we cling to
those conditioned beliefs and ideas until it all comes
crashing down through painful realizations on the path
of inevitability. This realization almost always includes
some form of heartbreak or disappointment and is best
described as a form of death.
To be equal is the choice to see the soul essence in
everyone we meet and offer the same love and com-
passion to them as we would to our most dearest. It
is to allow the softness within us to meet the softness
within another.
45
)
CHAP T E R
9
FAILURE
Just mentioning the word failure to most people invokes
myriad reactions. Some folks immediately start spew-
ing out sayings like I only fail when I give up or when I
learn nothing, or they go into pop psychology babble
that is so sickening I sometimes wish they would just
remain quiet. The truth is failure is inevitable. It is an
integral part of our life and attempting to sugarcoat it
creates more fuel for a conditioned mind to feed on.
Living out the experience of being a competitive body-
builder and simultaneously speaking and writing in the
area of spiritual exploration gives one a real sense of
the role of failure as a necessary part of ones growth.
No matter how strange the combinations of endeav-
ors undertaken, everything happens to expand our
understanding of what is possible. In every endeavor
)
46
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THE SHI FT
we sometimes hit the edge of possibility of a particu-
lar course of action and that is when we experience
failure. Its neither good nor bad: it simply points to
the natural border that we have pushed up against. We
now have to investigate a different way of proceeding
towards the vision.
In the world of bodybuilding we constantly explore
new ways of manipulating our bodies through diet,
exercise and supplementation to create this image that
constantly floats in our imagination. We know its pos-
sible to create that image but we may not always know
how to get there, so we try one approach for one com-
petition and if it does not produce the desired result
it can easily be explained as failing. The quicker we
accept failure, the sooner we can restart the explora-
tion and see what can be done differently. So, failure
serves as a feedback mechanism.
The remarkable observation I have made is that those
who go back and explore their strategy and make some
adjustments almost always turn failure into success. I
use the words failure and success as indicators of either
achieving or not achieving a desired outcome. When
success or failure is filtered through the conditioned
mind it attaches a self-value component. When we
do this, failure is perceived as something that must be
avoided and success as something to be pursued.
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FAI LURE
)
This fear-based emotional drive to avoid failure and
pursue success is such an ingrained mind pattern that
some people will do anything to avoid failure, includ-
ing not even attempting something new. Others will
create exit strategies at various junctures - in the form
of excuses - for why they had to quit, never realizing
that the fear of failure overwhelmed them when things
appeared to get difficult.
When success or failure filters through an exploratory
mind there is no self-value attachment. It becomes
just another word, free from conditioned thoughts of
value. This approach accesses our personal power and
opens our innate creative reservoir so that we can meet
whatever limitation presented as failure with an open
mind, free from judgment labels. When we do this, the
exploration becomes increasingly engaging, and we
are able to deepen the inquiry and discover amazing
new things.
In my daily life I work with clients using resistance train-
ing as a vehicle to explore their physical and mental
limits. Its always interesting to observe the clients who
judge failure as something bad. They tend to get frus-
trated easily because they are trying to live up to some
conditioned ideal that is generally out of touch with
their skills and abilities. Also, they ask self-defeating
questions and often lobby support from me about how
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THE SHI FT
their performance is subpar. However, by not feeding
this mind pattern new clients become thriving clients.
When a new client becomes a thriving client they
become aware of these mind patterns and actively allow
the feelings of resisting failure to show up. Eventually
when the self-judgment stops and the acceptance of
failing seeps in, their performance improves dramati-
cally and they report that other areas of their life are
also advancing with less struggle. They start to seek
out failure in the gym because they now see it as an
access point to their next level. When this happens,
failure shifts from a fear-based pattern to a love-based
exploration.
I acknowledge that failure is rarely encouraged and
is associated with being less than, leaving many folks
doing everything they can to avoid the pain and thereby
deepening their sense of inadequacy. Every day I see
children and adults who are terrified to fail because
their parents use conditioned success as a precondi-
tion for awarding approval and love. We indoctrinate
children that winning a first place trophy or getting
into the best college will somehow make them more
lovable and valuable but its a lie that we are just not
willing to let go of yet.
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FAI LURE
)
When we accept failure as an essential part of our evo-
lution the love-based exploratory mode is occupied
and it invites thoughts of love, joy, creativity, reverence
and partnership. When failure is not an option the mind
is set in the conditioned mode, filling us with thoughts
of fear, anxiety, anger, judgment and jealousy. The
world appears and feels very different when we shift
from our conditioned to our exploratory mind mode.
The pressure and burden of keeping up the false ego
front is lifted when we shift to the exploratory mode.
Today, failure is an integral part of each of our lives.
Resisting it by using smart sayings and psychoanaly-
sis is a complete distraction, because ultimately only
accepting it can unlock this treasure chest.
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50
CHAP T E R
10
HOPE
Many of us were raised with having hope as one of
the primary pillars on which to build our life. It is very
difficult to find a struggling or thriving person in the
Western world who does not embrace it. And when-
ever we encounter challenging life situations, the
advice is almost always: Never give up hope that things
will get better. But this hope is nothing more than wish-
ful thinking, created in the conditioned mind to avoid
personal responsibility.
When hope is filtered through the conditioned mind
mode it almost always involves a belief that some mys-
tical force is going to deliver a desired outcome without
us having to take or adjust some actions. But our expe-
rience reveals very clearly that real life never works out
that way. In fact, if a desired outcome is achieved it
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HOPE
)
is always because someone else steps in and assumes
responsibility for someone elses lack of responsibility.
And when this happens the needs of people who are in
the conditioned mind mode are met and their belief is
strengthened that having hope works, not realizing or
caring that it leaves someone else burdened with their
responsibility. So this conditioned mind-based hope
that so many embrace is just a shift of personal respon-
sibility; there is nothing mystical about it.
In my sessions with clients I suggest that they give up
hope, and see what happens. For those who accept per-
sonal responsibility for their actions, nothing changes.
The idea of having hope never springs to mind. On the
other hand, for most who have a strong victim mind
the mere suggestion offends them. Some confide in
me that they feel lost and do not see the point of the
exercise.
Hope hides what is. It is the crutch that people think
they need while having perfectly healthy legs. In my
experience those who consider themselves more
religious cling the most to this idea. This is not sur-
prising because the foundation of religious dogma
is to avoid the what is at all cost, thus almost every
church preaches a better tomorrow. For them the now
is so unacceptable it serves as nothing more than an
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THE SHI FT
unpleasant platform from which to spring their mes-
sage of hope and deepen the victim mind.
One morning a client shared with me that he was rent-
ing one of his properties to a single mom with three
kids. He explained to me that he felt compassion for
her life situation of being a single mother of three.
So when she was late with the first months rent he
understood, and she told him that she hoped to have
all his money the following month. This continued for
a few months before he decided to give her notice to
leave. Upon receiving the notice she confronted him
about having no compassion for a single mom with
three kids with no place to go. She told him it was his
responsibility to make sure she had somewhere else to
go because he created this situation in her life. This is
one of the many ways the victim mind mode plays out
when it embraces hope as a strategy to avoid personal
responsibility.
Every human being can live without having hope.
Indeed, a great number of people do, especially those
who were never exposed to the idea. Living without
hope simply means to see things for what they are and
assume responsibility as the creator of that outcome.
Having hope is easy because there is an expectation
of a savior but asking anyone who has had Western
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HOPE
)
religious conditioning to give up hope is always a big
challenge.
Hope is the feeding tube of the victim mind mode
because it allows us to avoid some of the biggest condi-
tioned mind patterns: avoiding personal responsibility,
believing that something is missing and seeking an
external savior. In order to give up hope we must stop
following the mind on all its witch-hunts, and in doing
so the inner knowing voice will be heard again. Hope
keeps our inner guidance voice on mute and replaces
it with fear-based recordings.
These tapes entrench fear-based ideas and manipulate
the vulnerable into escaping the now for future-based
promises but never really impart the skills required to
change ones life situation in a real way. It strangely
does not even provide a fish, let alone teach someone
to fish. When we give up hope, what is shows up and
we are left with using all of our innate skills to navigate
the terrain, while simultaneously learning new skills to
create the outcomes we desire. If we are hungry, hop-
ing to get a meal is an ineffective strategy compared to
taking the actions that will produce a meal.
We are consciousness. It enables us to see more than is
being revealed and speaks to us as the inner guidance
voice that is our connection to all that is. We never
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THE SHI FT
lose this connection and when we feel that we do, it
means something else is distorting the message. Hope
scrambles our connection to our intuitive guidance
voice because it wants to be the primary conduit of
something that requires no-thing except awareness.
When we embrace our inner knowing, ideas like hope
are shown to be cheap substitutes. Inner knowing is the
real thing and to follow it is the love path that frees us
from our conditioned ideas and creates the shift from
what we think we know to realizing that inner know-
ing. Giving up hope is an ego killer but in that moment,
something is discovered realized knowing.
The ability to accept things as is in the moment of dis-
covery is realized knowing. Hope is the practice of
projecting from our past conditioning. Nothing new is
discovered by embracing hope except what youve been
told to expect. Life unfolds in the now, not a minute
before or after. Only an aware mind can meet the now.
Hope is mind-created compared to the heart-based
inner knowing. Inner knowing is a threat to those forces
that want to manipulate and control us through fear but
deep down we know the truth.
I know you KNOW.
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CHAP T E R
11
LETTING GO
Up to now, forgiveness has been the way that weve
been taught to release our disappointment in others
and ourselves. And the results are pretty disappointing
because very few have been able to forgive anybody,
let alone forget about how they have been wronged.
The reason for this is obvious to anyone who is not
attached to the strong religious connotations of the
concept. It does not work because its another condi-
tioned mind-created phenomenon.
The problem with forgiveness as a concept arises from
the major conditioned mind pattern that there is a right
and wrong. And anyonewhomwe have judged to be
wrong needs to be forgiven. This is very convenient
for the ego that drives this entire concept because it
never loses its dominant status. Even when we have
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THE SHI FT
supposedly wronged someone and we ask for forgive-
ness, it is done with the agenda of wanting to assert
our superior ego that now plays the role of being the
good person.
Forgiveness is rooted in judgment and arises from a
fear-based mind that is desperately trying to cover that
very judgment using a range of mind patterns, the most
common being the good person faade. Another few
popular ones are that we can forgive but the mind will
not forget; the agenda of doing it to release me and the
other person; and the whole belief structure around
some higher entity directing us to forgive another.
Forgiveness promises practitioners freedom from pain,
resentment and anger. In the conditioned mind mode
forgiveness is based on the belief that someone or
something caused this pain, resentment and anger to
arise. Therefore this outside entity needs to be forgiven
for having trespassed our boundaries. This point of
view absolves us from any personal responsibility with
the premise being that we have done nothing to co-
create this particular life situation.
Up to now this is how weve played forgiveness: some-
one did us wrong and because we are good people
we will forgive them. The story about the anger and
resentment leaving us is just that, a mind-created story
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LETTI NG GO
)
that will be repeated whenever we have to demon-
strate our good person status. And in the repetition of
this good person story the energy of the judgment, the
depth of the resentment and the foul smell of the anger
still scent the air. Forgiveness is the veil worn by the
ego when it plays the good person.
Lets explore how this all comes about. We know a
major conditioned mind pattern is the concept of right
and wrong. So when we perceive that someone is
doing us wrong - instead of avoiding personal respon-
sibility as in the case of the conditioned mode - lets
investigate how we contribute to manifesting that par-
ticular life situation. Doing this automatically embraces
personal responsibility. The searchlights go on and we
get a front row seat to discovering aspects of ourselves
that up to this moment of discovery are hidden from
the exploratory mind by the conditioned mind.
In discovering these hidden aspects we begin to under-
stand how we have trespassed the boundaries of others
by not being consciously aware. And when they have
taken action to correct the situation we experience that
action as them doing something wrong to us. In reality
they have just provided us much needed feedback to hid-
den aspects of ourselves. But this can never be seen when
we occupy the conditioned mind because it will simply
be interpreted that they are wrong and we are right.
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THE SHI FT
So now we can once again see that forgiveness never
really enters the picture. But what does enter the pic-
ture is the concept of letting go. Letting go simply means
releasing something that I got to hold for a moment. For
a moment we held on to the belief that someone did
us wrong but upon closer investigation we discover our
culpability in bringing to life the wrong situation. When
we see this we can let all the stories go. When the stories
stop, the ego and therefore the attachment dies.
Nobody in the life situation did anything wrong or
right even though it may appear very strongly to be so
on the surface. Everyone had something driving them
to create the life situation and when everyone gets
to discover what that unseen driver is at least on one
dimension, only then can they let go. Everything short
of that will require something like forgiveness because
its easier and ego saving. Letting go will kill the ego
attachment to the right and wrong concept.
Letting go cannot be taught through a method, but is a
completely organic process that happens when we are
ready for exploration. This readiness cannot be forced,
so be careful when the conditioned mind starts seek-
ing a guru to teach the letting go process. Some are
ready to let go now while others may not be ready for
another decade or more and no guru can fundamen-
tally change that. Ultimately, we will all let go through
exhaustion on our deathbed.
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PART 3
FINAL THOUGHTS
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CHAP T E R
11
WHAT HAPPENED?
What happened? During a morning sleep in session I
had a waking dream that was so vivid and real that for
a moment it transported me through the entire course
of my life. Seeing the people who have been in my life
and their impact left me tearful and grateful. I saw my
mothers struggles and her desperate fight to prevent
all of her children from living her life path, not real-
izing that the fear that drove this pursuit would be the
primary transferable trait. Yet, seeing all of this now is
free from the judgment that it needed to be anything
different.
This is the door to love in all of our lives. Accept things
for what they are, free from the idea that they need
to be otherwise. This idea is the knife that we uncon-
sciously use to cut deep grooves into our healthy mind
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WHAT HAPPENED?
)
body and wonder why we are in pain. To stop the
painful cuts one must remove the knife. In this case it
is the idea that things need to be anything other than
what they are.
The dominant ideas that are at the root of much of our
pain and suffering are what this book exposes, but I
have no illusions that they will just disappear because
I wrote about it in a book. It is much more intricate,
and depends on the mind mode that this information
finds one in. If this information finds someone in the
conditioned mind mode, they will not see what this
book points to because the fear will hide it to protect
their conditioned ideas.
When this information is presented to someone in the
exploratory mind mode, they will investigate how it is
relevant to them. If certain parts are relevant it rein-
forces an existing inner knowing and if others are
irrelevant then they will be discarded for that individ-
ual. But I must red flag this because the victim mind is
very good at protecting existing ideas under the guise
of an exploration. A true exploration is where what one
discovers is truly unexpected.
We have only one mind that moves between the con-
ditioned and exploratory mode and it is remarkable in
its role as a servant to the consciousness that is us. The
)
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problem arises when the conditioned mind wants to
be consciousness. This is when the roles and ideas of
what we think we should be enter the picture. If we
follow this we begin to act out our particular roles just
like actors working from a script. The problem with a
scripted life is that it loses its authentic quality.
To live an authentic life means that consciousness is
the driver and our mind is the servant. The explor-
atory mind mode is our vehicle for discovering what
consciousness directs us to uncover. The freshness of
the uncertainty is always a feature of such an explora-
tion accompanied by a deep trust in that indescribable
inner knowing.
Because of this journey, I now know that love is here
in total abundance. To see it one must be willing to
see that we are love and give up all other ideas. Do
not allow the conditioned mind to convince us that we
are somehow separate from one another. The truth is
we are inseparable although grooves can be cut into
anything to create the illusion of separate pieces. If we
focus on the separation lines we will never see our
essential wholeness and completeness.
Life is very complex when the source from which we
live is the conditioned mind because it is attempt-
ing to control external aspects and ignore far deeper
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WHAT HAPPENED?
)
reaching inner aspects. When we surrender our fear-
based desire to control, the illusion of solid ground
disappears and at first we feel like we are free falling,
only to discover that we are in fact floating in the trust-
ing hands of something far more amazing.
Following this trust is easiest when we are open and
willing, and impossible when preconceived ideas
dominate the mind. Trusting by following that intuitive
voice is infinitely harder than quoting from scripture,
seeking out a guru or joining some cause. The answers
to all our lifes questions lie within us but because we
are truly not open or willing to look within, we exter-
nalize the search. Call off the search and face what
weve been avoiding.
We are consciousness expressing itself.