DIANE KEATON (ANNIE HALL) HAS STILL GOT IT!

By Alan L. Chrisman
Like many men, Ive long had a crush on Diane Keaton, especially since her defining role of
Annie Hall in Woody Allens classic film of the same name in 1977. But even before that, she
stood out in his previous films, Play It Again, Sam (72) Sleeper (73) and Love and Death (75).
The accomplished actress has also been a director, producer, and photographer and writer.
She just released her 2
nd
memoir/ book, Lets Just Say, It Wasnt Pretty, after her previous one,
Then Again.
Ive always wondered though, how much she was really like her screen persona (or was she
more of a Woody Allen-created character?). She says in her new book that Woody Allen made
Diane Keaton, the actress (her real name was Diane Hall). He also had a relationship with her
and its clear his Annie Hall film and character was partly based on their real relationship, which
is why I think it rings so true still.
She made films and had relationships with Al Pacino (The Godfather 72), Warren Beatty (Reds
81) and Jack Nicholson (with whom she later made Somethings Gotta Give, 2003). But these
men were at the time, certainly, not the settling-down type of guys. Although, as with Allen,
who she says is still one of her best friends, she has remained good friends with them too.
But she has remained unmarried. A large part of Pretty is about her present life as a single
mother with her two adopted teen-aged children, Dexter and Duke.
So what is she really like? She reveals in the book, she likes to buy and renovate houses (her
dad was a real estate agent and engineer). Her mother was a homemaker and creative and
inspired her to pursue an artistic profession. She has portraits on her wall of some of her
favorite mens faces: Abraham Lincoln, John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Sam Shepard, (which may
say something about her ideal of men, or perhaps, is reminiscent of her late father).
Shes 68 now and still wearing the thick belts, wide brimmed hats, etc. which she made
fashionable in the 70s. She has a new film And So It Goes out now with another silver fox, as
she calls him, Michael Douglas. Shes resisted plastic surgery as so many other actresses her
age havent; she says young people mix her up with everyone from Jane Fonda to Katy Perry!
In the book she even quotes some of the funny dialogue from two of my other favorite Woody
Allen films with Keaton in them, Sleeper and Love and Death. Theres a scene in Sleeper, set in
the future, where theyve escaping from the bad guys and theyre hungry so Woody (Miles)
finds these giant vegetables and fruit growing and he drags this gigantic banana for them to
munch on, and Keaton (Luna), playing a spoiled woman of the future, says is that the best you
can do? In Love and Death, Russian Sonja (Keaton) wants to get Boris (Allen) to join in a plot to
assassinate Napoleon; he just wants to have sex with her and says he might not be up to a
performance, although he wouldnt mind rehearsing. In Everything You Wanted to Know
about Sex, Allen playing a jester, finds a wife wearing a metal chastity belt and tries to break
through it at her crotch using a large lance, as he says something like, Yes, I shall try and
openeth thy box with thy trusty shaft. In all these, Allen shows the lengths men (sometimes
foolishly) will go for a beautiful woman like Keaton. In Annie Hall, one of its many great scenes,
is when Allen and Keaton are in a park just observing people go by and Woody asks people
what makes relationships work- everyone has a different answer. Soon they see a super-
handsome couple, like out a Hollywood poster, and the couple says, Were both superficial
and shallow. Allen, when at his best, has no equal when it comes to expressing both the pain
and joy in relationships and yet making us laugh, hilariously, at the same time.
Is Diane Keaton really like Annie Hall? From her books and interviews on late night TV shows,
she sure seems to be a lot like her-that same unique, quirky, but lovable character of a woman.
Its easy to see why Allen and so many others of we men have fallen for her.
LA-DI-DA! Diane Keaton still has It!
I had my own sort of Annie Hall moments in a relationship. This is a short excerpt from my
own recent memoir, Its A Long Way Home: CHAPTER 19: LADY IN RED pt. 2 (Annie Hall)
I had over the past two years, since Id first noticed that LADY IN RED walking down the
street, seen her around my neighborhood. A couple of times, I saw her with a cute little girl. I
figured she must be a single mom. I was still very curious about her, but had been trying to
make my marriage work. Finally, one day, when I was divorced and separated again, I saw her
walk by my store. I just ran up to her on the street. I didnt know what to say, so I mumbled,
believing somewhat in astrology, the worst pick-up line, Whens your birthday? She replied,
Why its tomorrow! I had guessed someones sign again. I mentioned that I had a little
record shop in the neighborhood and maybe she would like to drop by sometime (thinking I had
probably blown it).
But the very next week, to my immense surprise, she did come in. And she was wonderful-very
intelligent, warm, had a great laugh, and was beautiful (my ideal). We hit it off from the first
time. She said her name was Anne and that she was a photographer. She continued coming in
on a regular basis. We didnt always agree, but she was always stimulating. I started buying
her lunches from a take-out pita place next door when she would drop in, as well as our usual
tea. It was good to have someone to treat once in a while. Like I said, she was full of surprises.
It was nearing Christmas and I asked her what I could get her and she asked for a certain book.
I now called her Annie, the same as one of my favorite Woody Allen characters, played by
Diane Keaton in ANNIE HALL.
But sometimes the pressures would build up and wed argue over books, movies, music,
anything, and shed withdraw for a while. Once, early on, she hadnt talked to me for several
weeks. I saw her go by my store and next door to the pita place. I had been rehearsing a joke
in case I did run into her, from a Woody Allen movie: A man goes into a bar, and he notices a
guy with carrots in his ears. The man asks the bartender, Why? The bartender says, Why
dont you ask him when he comes in tomorrow at 5 p.m.? Next evening, sure enough, the
guy comes in, but this time the guy has bananas in his ears. So the man asks the guy, Why
the bananas in your ears? The guy replies, Because I ran out of carrots.
Woody Allen said that relationships are like that; they often dont make any sense, but we
need them. So I tell her the joke while she waits for her pita. And she laughs. It works! And
she drops by my store right after and we talk.
Another time, she cuts off me for 6 months! Its the worse winter in years; record snowfalls.
She wont even talk to me, but each pay check, I leave a little gift in her mailbox-a book, DVD
movie, music, etc. Finally, one time I leave a note. She angrily calls me back and says never to
leave a note again. But I asked her if I could still leave gifts, and she said, OK. I knew she was
keeping the door open a little. Soon after, I ran into her in a parking lot. I had changed cars, I
didnt think she recognized me, so I rolled down the window and said, You know you could
call me sometime. The next morning, she calls me and we discuss it very briefly. And she
always did it this way; she puts the phone down and then calls right back. I ask her if shed like
to go for lunch. We meet and its soon forgotten and were back on track again. So it was
never dull. People outside, even friends, can try to judge, but nobody can really understand
anybody elses relationships. Sometimes even the people inside them dont even know how
they work or dont. The old carrot and banana joke again.

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle. Woody Allen.