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KRAKKING THE KRABBY-PATTY SECRET FORMULA

byAylaandErikLaPort

SpongeBob: Sponge,brightyellow,wearssquarepants.
Disposition: Naive,energeticandalwaysoptimistic.Livesinanunderwaterpineapple.
Eats: KrabbyPatties.
Friends: SeaSnail(Gary),bestfriendsPatricktheStarfishandSandytheSquirrel.
Pastimes: Jellyfishing,bubbleblowing,singing,karateandmakingkrabbypatties.
SpongeBobistheonlyguyIknowwhocanhavefunwithajellyfish,fortwelvehours.

HistoryoftheKrabbyPatty
TheKrabbyPattythemostmouthwatering,appetizingfoodinthesevenseas.
Startoffwithapatty,grilledandjuicy,crispunderseaveggiesandcheese,andtoppedoffwithsecretsauceandsomebun.
Voila!TheKrabbyPatty.
AKrabbyPattyisaburgersoldattheKrustyKrab.ItisthebestknownfoodintheKrustyKrab,andthemostfamous
sandwichinBikiniBottom.Itis,quitesimply,thetastiestsandwichinthesea.Therehavebeenmanyversionsofthe
KrabbyPatty,andtherealformularemainsamystery.ItisrevealedinPattyCaper,thatthesecretingredientseems
tobefromthelettersRtoZ.StartingfromRawandtothelastletterofZ.Itissaidtheingredientisan"S",andis
SecretSauce. NothinggivesSpongeBob morejoythan makingthe KrabbyPattyattheKrustyKrabrestaurant.The
followingversionsoftheKrabbyPattyandmanymorehaveappearedinvariousepisodes:
TheOriginalPattyinventedbyMr.Krabs.Ablueprintwasrevealed,whichwehaveacquiredandisshownbelow!
JellyPattyinventedbySpongeBobcontainsjellyfishjelly*asaspecialingredient.
PrettyPattiesinventedbySpongeBobarejustliketheOriginalPatty,butwithfoodcoloring.
TheKuddlyKrabPattywasn'tevenaKrabbyPatty,ItwaslettuceandtomatoSaladinventedbyPearlKrabs.
KrabbyOMondaysPattyinventedbyCarl,butlittleelseisknownaboutit.
ChumPattyinventedbySheldonJ.Plankton,owneroftheKrustyKrabsmaincommercialrivaltheChumBucket.The
basicrecipeis1)topbun,2)chum,3)bottombun.
Note*:JellyfishJellyissimplyjellyproducedbyJellyfish.SpongeBobwilloccasionallycollectsome, butonlyafulljar.JellyfishJellyis
edible,anditcanbeusedforaPB&JsandwichsubstituteinBikiniBottom(ThepeanutbutterisreplacedwithSeaNutButter).Thejelly's
coloristhecolorofthejellyfish.Noname(renamed"Friend")hasbluejellysquirtedonaKrabbyPattybecauseheisabluejellyfish.Also,
jellyfishproducedifferentflavorsofjelly,dependingonthecolor.Intheepisode:JellyfishJam,itisrevealedthatallJellyfishesarepotty
trainedwhilereadinganewspaper.
IntheGreatPattyCaperepisode,Mr.KrabsgivesSpongeBobtheonlykeytothevaultholdingtheKrabbyPattySecret
Formula, and SpongeBob vows to guard it. However, as soon as SpongeBob and Patrick board the Oceanic Express
traintoretrievetheformula,thekeymysteriouslygoesmissing.Whocouldhavestolenthekey?Wasitthesneaky
Plankton?orwasitthe"butler"?Itwasarealmysterywithatwistery!WhenSpongeBobandMr.Krabsmakeanew
batchofKrabbyPatties,theyrevealthefirstfewingredientsoftheformula,whichareflour,barnacleshavings,sea
saltandturmeric.
Nothing gives Plankton, evil genius and owner of the rival restaurant the Chum Bucket, more frustration than not
knowingthesecretrecipe.PlanktonspendshiswholeexistenceattemptingtofindouttheKrabbyPattyrecipeand
thatcovetedsecretingredient.Muchhilarityensues,whenhedoeseventuallystealtherecipeonlytofindoutthat
theingredientsarebuns,onions,acupoflove,andfourpoundsofgroundplankton!!!
Thankgoodness,itturnsoutthatthisrecipewasafakejusttoconfusePlankton,andthesecretwasstillsafeuntil
nowthatAylaandErikhavecrackedtherecipethatis!

Krabby Patty DNA Blueprint

Fluffy Top Seaweed Seed Bun contains flour, barnacle
shavings,seasaltandturmericandseaweedseeds(codefor
flour,spinach,seaweedandsesameseeds)
Maritime mustard, krusty ketchup, sea tomato, onion and
cheese (cheddar is best) aregarnishes surprisinglysimilarto
thekindLandLubbersuseontheirburgers.

Sealettuceissecretcodeforoakleafspinach.
TopSecretKrabbyPattyformulabelow...
TopSecretSeaweedSeedBunformulabelow

Top-Secret Seaweed Seed Bun formula

(alwaysmadefirst)
30g butter
2tsp sugar
300ml milk
1tsp driedyeast
Bigbunch oakleafspinach
Atinybit turmericandsesameseeds(countthem!)
Pinch stillnotsurewhetherseasaltorlandsalt,norwhatorderthesaltandturmericgoin!
1tsp grounddriedseaweedflakes(kelpfries)
450g strongwhiteflour
Adusting cornmeal,fordustingthetable(oryoucanuseflour)
1. Throwinalltheingredientstomakethedough.Putthemixtureintoamixerandaddtheflourandsalt.Keepinthemixer
foragood10minutes.
2. Then,leaveyourdoughtorestinanicewarmplacefor30minutes.Whenitsrisen,justadmirethegreenfleckeddough
forawhile.
3. Then,dustyoursurfacewithcornmealandstretchthedoughout;youwantitabouthalfaninchthick.
4. Sprinklesesameseedsandmorecornmealontopofthedoughandusingaroundcuttercutoutthemuffins.
5. Heatafryingpanuntilhotthendryfrythemuffinsfor5minutesoneachsideuntiltheyarecrispandgolden.

Top-Secret Krabby Patty Formula

Mr.KrabshastheKrabbyPattySecretFormulawrittendownonapieceofpaper.
Hekeepsthepaperrolledupandinsideabottle.Thehiddenlocationofthebottlechangesconstantly.
ThisisbecauseMr.KrabsneedstokeeptheFormulahiddenfromPlankton.
OncePlanktondiscoversthelocationoftheFormula,Mr.Krabsneedstochangeit.
Originallycalledthe"BarnacleBurger"orthe"KrustyPatty",theKrabbyPattysecretformulaisentrustedonlytothose
whoareloyalenoughtohideitfromevildoerslikePlankton.Intheepisode"KrustyKrabTrainingVideo,"bylooking
attheKrabbyPatty,youcouldseeitsingredients.Thereislettuce,cheese,abeefpatty,andatomato.However,in
thecartoonversion,itshowsonions,twobeefpatties,andtwoslicesofcheddarcheese,mustard,ketchup,lettuce,
andatomato.Althoughmostofthetimeitjustshowsabeefpattyandlettuce.
Intheepisode"Plankton!theorderoftheingredientsis:Bun,Patty,Cheese,Pickles,Lettuce,Tomato,Onions,Top
Bun(Thisisthefirsttimethelistofingredientsismentioned).
Intheepisode"Pickles",theorderisBun,Patty,Ketchup,Mustard,Pickles,Onions,Lettuce,Cheese,Tomato,TopBun.
The actual Secret Formula for a Krabby Pattyhas never beenrevealed, but four ingredients (for the Seaweed Seed
Bun)wasrevealedin"TheGreatPattyCaper:Flour,BarnacleShavings,SeaSaltandTurmeric,althoughSpongeBob
andMr.Krabscan'trememberwhatorderthesaltandtheturmericgetputin.Inepisode"FriendorFoe",apinchof
chum was added. The other problem is that they can't figure out if it is sea salt or land salt. Another confirmed
ingredientislove.TheKrabbyPattyisusuallyorderedwithKelpFriesandasoda.
kilogram crabmeat(imitationisOKbyMr.Krabs),withapinchofchum(mashedshrimp)
2slices wheatbread
1egg beaten
1tbsp homemadegarlicmayonnaise
1tbsp Dijonmustard
pinch stillnotsurewhetherseasaltorlandsalt
pinch groundpinkpeppercorns
1tsp Worcestershiresauce
2tbsp butter
1tsp grounddriedseaweedflakes(kelpfries)

Thesecretingredient:Love(andsecretsauce!)
1. Putyourcrabintoabowl,beingcarefulnottobreakupthemeattoomuch.
2. Addinthemayonnaise,mustard,salt,pepper,Worcestershiresauce,seaweedflakesandegg.
3. Mixthoroughly;Shapeintopatties,squeezingouttheexcesswater.
4. Chillinthefridgefor30minutes.
5. Useadrizzleofoilandaknobofbutterandfryonbothsidesfor5minutes.

Secret ingredient Secret Sauce, a.k.a. Tangy Sponge Sauce

(Thesecretingredient,aliquidinthebottlemarkedX,ismostlikelythesecretsaucebelow)
120ml peanutoil
120ml extravirginoliveoil
2eggs (butonlytheyolks)
1clove garlic
1tsp salt(stillnotsurewhetherseasaltorlandsalt!)
some milledblackandpinkpeppertotaste
1tsp redwinevinegar

1. Whiskyoureggs,garlic,andsaltandpeppertogether.
2. Addtheoil,dropbydrop,whiskinginbetween.
3. Keepaddinguntilalltheoiliscombined.
4. Ifitgetstoothick,addinsomeofyourvinegartothinitout.
Seaweed Sauce
(InepisodeFriendorFoe,Mr.KrabsrevealsoneoftheingredientsbysayingtoPlankton
"Itwasyouwhoputontoomuchseaweedsauce",indicatingthatthisisaningredientinKrabbyPatties)

3cloves garlic(large)
2cups freshcilantro
cup freshflatleaf(Italian)parsley
cup redwinevinegar
cup oliveoil
optionalpinch driedchiliordropoftabasco(volcanosauce)

WARNING:ifonedoesnothaveaKrabbyPattyafteranextensiveperiod,he/shewillsufferfromKrabbyPattyWithdrawal.If
onedoesnoteataKrabbyPattyduringthewithdrawal,he/shewillmumbleaboutitforthenextthreeandahalfminutes.Krabby
Pattywithdrawalisduetothinking of theKrabby Patty,whichcausessevere tummyaches.Donteven thinkabouttheDeluxe,
DoubleDeluxe,TriplePattyDeluxeorMonsterversionsoftheKrabbyPatty!Thesehavebeenknowntocausedisorientationorthe
consumerwillgetveryfatinthethighareaandexplode.ThishappenedtoSquidwardin"JustOneBite"episode,whenhebroke
intothePattyVaultandatetoomanyKrabbyPattiesatonce.SmalleatersshouldstaywiththeKrustyKidsMealorPipsqueak
Patty.