Love Marriage and Contemporary Social

Values
Today's youth everywhere is out of touch with traditional
value systems, and the Manipuri youth is obnoxiously and
unashamedly so. People are finding it fashionable to flaunt their
"liberated" and high-headed opinions with a seeming conviction
that iconoclasm in every form and way is reasonable and
intelligent. This is the age when Prince Harry is worshipped and
drooled over, while the levelheaded and decent people are simply
dismissed as boring and unimaginative.

Feminism has added a whole new dimension to the

phenomenon. It has come to mean a movement whose purpose is
to prove that the females are superior to males, and so can do all
the things that males do, and some more. Rise of feminism has also
coincided with more and more marital discords, clashes of gender
roles, make-shift marriages and alliances, frequent divorces, single
parents, etc. In short, we are gradually moving towards the morally
decadent and corrupt Western Civilization.

A few facts are all the so-called feminists should understand

clearly to see reasons. Men and women are not equal: they differ
biologically, physiologically, psychologically and hence in terms
of capability in different functional areas. There is no need to draw
comparisons between the two sexes or to prove that one is superior
to the other.

Because, there are no parameters to compare two different

entities. Their roles are different but complimentary, and definitely
not contradictory, though they can overlap under certain
circumstances. If their roles are clashing, it is because of the
pseudo-intelligent people who are obsessed with useless topics like
gender war, which are purely their own synthesis.
 There is no denying the fact that all human beings should
enjoy the same rights and privileges. But, the feminists should not
go haywire and jeopardize traditional social value systems which
ensure checks and balances in many spheres of social interactions
and relations.

I was all for love marriage until I finished writing an article

on the topic for a magazine. I came out convinced that arranged
marriage system is for the mature and cultured society. "I can't
even imagine how one can marry a person without having known
each other long enough!" That is the all inclusive statement meant
to convey a message that the speaker is intelligent enough and able
enough to decide things for himself or herself, and that he or she is
not the unimaginative kind.

They say "True love is not when two persons are brought
together and made to make love just because their parents want
them to!" A female friend of mine, a classmate from Hyderabad
has the answer. She says, "What is true love? It is an unconditional
acceptance of the other person the way he or she is. It is a divine
emotion and means a lot of sacrifice for the person one loves.

So, arranged marriages are the true-love marriages where the

relation between the two persons is not subject to any prejudice
based on superficial attributes of the persons involved. The so-
called love marriages are most of the time born out of infatuations
of the immature minds. On the other hand, who are we to assume
that we can make better decisions than our parents do? Our parents
are always more mature their judgment always more intelligent.
 And, how can we be so ungrateful to our parents and defy
theirs words? Don't we owe them anything? Moreover, the
premarital relations and love marriages have their own share of
risks. Who is so sure that the other person's love is true and that it's
not based on any opportunistic considerations? Who is so sure that
the other person will not ditch him or her at any point of the
relation?

Who is so sure that the relation will result in marriage? If

such relation fails and if they marry different persons, will they be
able to be sincere and faithful to their spouses? Don't we owe any
moral obligation to our would-be spouses?" Well, I agree with her.
Life is just too short and too sweet to spoil by playing dices.

The consequences are of an entirely different magnitude

when it comes to love marriages in a society like ours which has
been permissive of eloping for ages. It is usually not the
responsibility of the parents to find suitable matches for their
children. This is a great enough encouragement for the immature
and susceptible minds to go astray and be distracted from their
education and careers during their formative years.

They start running after the opposite sexes from very young
ages. No one needs to be pointed out the consequences of this
phenomenon in the deadly combination with poverty, lack of
parental guidance, ineffective education system and
unemployment. Because today's Manipur is the apotheosis of all
these malaises: declining moral standards, rising school and
college dropouts, lowering age at marriage, rise in militancy and
other anti-social activities. And, which way is the current video
music album movement leading the youth?
 [The recent rape of a working girl from the Northeast in a
moving car in Delhi is not the first such incidence. There have
been so many other incidences before though the victims chose to
shut up. Such incidences are not merely an expression of the
xenophobic attitude or majoritarianism of the Mainland Indians or
insecurity of the males with the liberated females.

Being liberated and independent, for most females, means

wearing as scantily and as revealingly as possible and behaving in
as provocative and shamelessly care free manners as possible--
getting drunk and partying late night! Although there was a lot of
hue and cry over an opinion by a Shiva Sena mouthpiece that
"such women" invite rape, the statement is not entirely wrong.
Such scantily clad women are seen as easy, because many times
they are so.

What with the image of the Nepali girls, the Mainland

Indians view the Northeast girls as easy sex toys. Other than the
"easy" image, these girls offer themselves to the wealthy spoilt
brats among the Mainstream Indians, only enhancing their
stereotyped image. You will see many of these Manipuri and other
NE girls in revealing outfits roaming around with those wealthy
brats at odd hours, going to night clubs, and what not.

Not that the Mainland Indian girls don't have pre-marital

affairs, only that the few who do have such relations know the
limits. And, who will be serious enough to marry an easy girl of a
promiscuous society, and which parents will accept such girls as
their daughters-in-law? It is a fact that almost none of those
wealthy Mainland brats are serious about such girls. They just use
them, and dump them when they are done with.]
 On the other hand, in societies with the custom of arranged
marriage, the youngsters need to and hence do concentrate on their
careers and economic self-reliance, rather than running after the
opposite sexes. The global success of the Mainland Indians today
is mainly attributed to the Indian value system where discipline,
and parental guidance and support through close parent-child
relations are key features.

On a different note, scientists have long been of the opinion

that the societies where arranged marriage is the rule are examples
of eugenics in practice, since the selective factors that the parents
apply when they choose matches for their children ensure that
good genes are continuously and gradually pooled together.
Anyway, maturity is marked by a calm intelligence and ability to
manage oneself efficiently.

Intelligence is characterized by ability to judge what is right

and what is wrong. Culture is nothing but discipline and decency.
Our society needs to review our value systems. This is one context,
where there is an absolute sense in aping the Mainland Indians