RUNNING HEAD: OBSERVATION ON LOOK ME IN THE EYE 1

Observation on Look Me In The Eye

A Developmental Psychopathology Perspective
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John Robisons book Look Me In The Eye is an interesting glance into a world that
many never get to see, and that many cannot fully understand. From a scientific standpoint, the
biography serves as almost a case study of ones fears, anxieties, habits, and coping with
something that they dont even know existed. With as much research that has been done, actual
experience, feelings, and experience, are still invaluable to scratch the surface of understanding a
perspective that is so different from the day to day norm that most people experience.
For Robinson, his undiagnosed Aspergers Syndrome had a resounding impact on his
life; he had always just considered himself a social outcast where, in reality, his behaviors were
completely normal, just with a few kinks. In some cases his behaviors turned out to be smarter
than average and completely beneficial to him. For example, the during his tour in KISS he
mentioned that he wasnt that interested in the drugs, the alcohol and that he was much too shy
for the women. However what most people would see as him being extremely social awkward,
aloof, or distant, gave him more time and energy to put into developing his skills.
To put the book in summary, John Elder Robison was always seen as a misfit, and,
during child hood he often blamed himself for his problems, he never fit in, he always seemed
like people were out to get him and he couldnt figure out why. This caused him to consider
himself a deviant. He got bored in high school, so he dropped out. His family life was falling
apart, so he left. He worked his way up through electronics, doing minor circuit work, designing
special effects for KISS and other bands, working for Milton-Bradley and finally going on to run
a successful automotive repair business. According to Autism Speaks, The DSM5 states the
diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder are two domains where people with ASD
must show persistent deficits. They include 1) persistent social communication and social
interaction, and 2) restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior. (2013)
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John Elder most certainly had failures and deficits at social interaction as a whole. He
began display these very early on as a child. For instance, one of his earliest memories of
rejection came when he attempted to pet a little girl. (Robison, 2007, p. 9) He attributed this to
the fact that his dog poodle likes to be petted, in his mind; people should like it as well. John
tried again and again to talk to that girl, and each time he was completely rejected despite his
best intentions. Not long after, he found himself completely rejected by his peers yet again; he
attempted to play cowboys with some of the other local children. They pushed him away, calling
him a monkey face. All he really tried to do was mirror they play and yet he was pushed away.
His theme of Apergian Dating midway through the book I found curious. He described
his initial relationship phases with Little Bear as them just hanging out, being awkward, and him
walking her home every day after school. Most would consider this cutesy courting at best. He
informed us readers many times that he was far too awkward to try anything to pull her attention
to him. (p.68)
What I find very unfortunate however is that he never went into greater detail on exactly
how they actually became a couple and started dating. Most of his memoir was excellent in
giving a perspective on real life situations from someone with aspersers, however, with
something as special as relationships I would have hoped he would have done more to elaborate
on how they came together as a couple. Based on my own reading of autism and Aspergers, it
seems like a major flaw is interpreting social settings, and from personal experience, starting a
relationship includes a great amount of social settings and cues that need to be interpreted in an
acceptable manner for both parties in order to succeed. I would venture to say that things such as
flirting or even courting would be incredibly difficult for John Elder just by the description of
how much he struggled with the social deficits of aspergers.
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As for the repetitive behaviors, John Elder is almost a textbook case. John had a
fascination with machines that could beat almost anyone. He stated towards the end that he had
always liked trains, and that it might be passed down (Robison, 2007, p. 265). I believe however
that Johns fascination was much more directed at electronics. He also had an affinity for circuits
and sound and, the very fact that he worked with KISS alone was incredible, let alone that he
served as a sound engineer for KISS, one of the most popular rock groups of all time. His
technical proficiency was strong enough to have him designing custom pyrotechnics and special
effects by hand, something most people wouldnt be able to dream of attempting.
All of this stemmed from his seemingly insatiable love for working with electronics, and,
at least the way the book portrays it, stayed with him his whole life. The way Robison presents
things he learned primarily from college text books and from working on devices himself, and in
a way he literally helped to define the electronics boom of the 1970s, creating things which at
the time literally did not exist and that the technology was barely there to figure out. Robison
claims to not be a savant (someone with exceptional ability in a certain area), however I feel like
most people would consider him a savant, given that his designs at the time of his KISS and
Milton-Bradley work were incredible. He did admit though that he might have been close to
being a savant at that point in his life, when his designs were pushing the limits of possibility
The approach he took to being a savant however were some of the most interesting
opinions that I have seen on savant-ship. Most people consider being a savant to be someone
who is incredibly gifted, able to focus all of their mental ability into a skill or task, and thus
becoming so incredible at said task that it astounds and humbles the general community, even
those with skill in that task. The way Robison described it however, this savant-ship comes at a
huge price, one cannot gain that level of focus without giving up much in return. (p. 208) His
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claims that he could have been a savant are based on the grounds that for people with high
functioning autism have a critical period in their lives when they must make a choice on whether
they want to be actively involved in the world of people, or the world of their insane talent. He
describes this moment as an all or nothing type scenario in which if they choose the world of
their ability they become much more withdrawn from the world of people, which to the outside
eye would increase their quirkiness to the extreme, and their Aspergian (as Robison lovingly
calls them) symptoms to the max. The other alternative is to limit your amazing abilities and
focus on learning the world of people and making an effort to overcome your symptoms and
connect with the rest of the human race.
For Robison this choice was made almost subconsciously, and, while he might not think
so, I see Robison as a strong extrovert who is simply misunderstood in this world because of his
condition. From the perspective of an extrovert I can see how Robison would crave that constant
social input, and, by the way the book is presented he seems to actively see it out, more so as a
child. As a child he was, as most children do, trying to put the world together in a way that he
could compute, understand, and predict reactions. For him however the lack of acceptance drove
him further and further away from the world of people until the point where he felt so different
from the rest of everyone that he finally had had enough and decided to settle down and get what
he called A real job. Robison attributes this getting of a real job to the fact that he was broke
all the time; however, he had a job with KISS that most people would only dream of. What I
think really pushed him back into the world of people however was not so much the need of
looking for a real job, but, rather his crazy need to connect with people; his extraversion. It is sad
however that his need to be with others was outweighed by his feelings of rejection and his
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connection to machines because he was the master of machines, and no matter how much power
he gave them, he was still in control.
Solomon (2010) suggests that based on Russells theory, many of the social problems
related to autism might stem from a deficit in the ability to plan and carry out actions to attain
future goals. (p. 11) This seems unlikely to me however at least from the perspective of the
book because
Robison never seemed to have problems with planning or making goals for himself, in many
cases it seemed quite the opposite and he often made reference to his autistic ability to hyper
focus on a single that he was interested in, learning it in extremely little time as compared to
most people. For instance, when he was studying circuits in the library when he was applying at
Milton Bradley, he was able to read full college textbooks, and learn from them successfully,
without even graduating high school or taking one single engineering course. For most people
this would have proven to be an incredibly daunting task and most people would have struggled
to stay interested in the machines or circuits for that much time, absorbing enough knowledge to
make them run successfully on homemade inventions.
He also was extremely successful at putting his career plans into work. He never seemed
to have too much trouble getting career things taken care of and getting the job he wanted. He
lived like a vagrant for a short while, decided he hated that, he lived with a band that allowed
him to keep a decent job, and he hated that too. He worked with KISS, ended up hating that too,
went on to work for arguably the most popular toy company in the world and then run his own
extremely successful business. This symptom almost seems like something that many people
without autism face, and just end up working retail jobs for the rest of their lives. They have
problems implementing. While for the autistic it might be more of a, building into contacts and
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jumping into group conversation at inappropriate times problem. If the autistic person learns to
use their abilities and harnesses their power to focus on a specific topic for long periods of time
they can truly become exceptional at what they do in comparison to most people.
They might run into the discouragement of not fitting in with others in a professional and
business oriented world. Solomon (2010) also refers to previous literature by Amaral et al.
(2003) saying that If this theory is correct, individuals with autism inhabit a social world filled
with fear and anxiety. This theory would account for pragmatic challenges of autism such as
atypical gaze behavior and for a preference for routines and sameness in the environment.(p.11)
In Robisons case this can be seen in his behaviors such as walking Little Bear home every day
from school for years, or not being overwhelmed by the crowd and energy of the concerts that he
did all the lights and effects for. To him, what was the most important and most rewarding, was
not pleasing the hundreds of thousands of KISS fans, but instead perfectly mastering the light
board. (p. 152)
It is also to take to note that Robison did indeed feel threatened when his routines and
plans were forced to change, often feeling like he was completely out of control and that he was
disconnected from those around him completely. For instance when he was touring with Fat,
during the time spent at the beach house on the tropical island he said that he was miserable, and
that his vacation was not really enjoyable at all, not because he couldnt relax, but because the
atmosphere of the island was so different than when Fat was on tour and playing shows. While
most people would enjoy such a vacation, Robison was completely out of his element. He said I
was actually finding the whole trip unsettling, because I didnt like changes in my environment. I
liked sleeping in the same place, having the same people around. The other guys didnt see it that
way. Robison wasnt even interested in the free girls because they made him feel like a
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stranger in the place that he was supposed to be staying (Robison, 2007, p. 116). I image the
whole situation must have been quite a bit socially overwhelming and a lot for his mind to learn
and keep up with at once.
Another interesting study by Sirota (2010) looks into the personal narrative by those with
high functioning autism. One of the most interesting quotes of her study was Karl represents his
autism as part of his personhood per se, employing definitive terms in declaring, No one does.
Except Karl. Because Im autistic.(p. 99) This concept was fascinating to me because I had
never considered that perhaps this is all Robison was really doing in his narrative the entire
time. The whole duration of the book I had thought to myself that Robison had done vast
amounts of research into the topic of Aspergers and into his own behavior, correlating the two.
And while he might have actually done that, perhaps he was just looking for a reason to explain
things to himself. For instance, many times he says things such as Many people with
Aspergers and then describes a behavior, either forwarded by or followed by his own
experience.
For the young Karl trying to figure out the world and knowing about his condition must
be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand he has some way of knowing how he would tend
to react in the world or how his actions and way of thinking differ from that of other children,
meaning that worst case scenario if he is being bullied, or feels alone or left out, he can just
relate to his Aspergers as a probable cause, and cope from there. On the other hand, he now has
a fallback reasoning for while the world doesnt quite go along with his expectations. Robison
could have also potentially shared this fate and though out his young life place root on most of
his problems where the root lies. She didnt like being petted and then ignored me because I
have Aspergers. Things could have also gone very badly for him as well, and place the
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Aspergers label where it didnt belong at all, saying things like My Father is an alcoholic
because I have Aspergers or My brother wants something from me every time I see him
because I have Aspergers. I definitely believe that for children that are diagnosed at such a
young age, strict measures need to be put in place to help enforcing attributing correct factors to
their condition, while minimizing as many false attributions as possible, as too many false
attributions can make one feel hopeless and makes the diagnosis harming to the individual.
In conclusion, based upon the readings and the research articles I have read, Aspergers
syndrome seems to be not so much a disability, but more of a double edged sword. It is a
condition of extreme prowess and potential, but one that comes at a cost. This cost takes hold in
constant state of self discovery, and trying to survive in a highly social and outgoing world when
the picture isnt quite clear to you, like trying to see predict the context and how to respond to a
blurry picture or trying to put together the puzzle, but missing just a couple of pieces. For some
this can be debilitating, but for others, the condition can be mastered and used. For Robison it
seems it didnt so much debilitate him as it did confuse him. His personal experience gives
readers a fascinating well painted picture of his life and daily struggle with something that he
never knew he was even dealing with, or, if he knew, something he could never put a name to.







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References

(2013). Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about DSM-5. Retrieved from
http://www.autismspeaks.org/dsm-5/faq
Robison, J. E. (2007). look me in the eye: my life with asperger's. New York: Random House.
Sirota, K. G. (2010). Narratives of distinction: Personal life narrative as a technology of the self
in the everyday lives and relational worlds of children with autism. Ethos, 38(1), 93-115.
Solomon, O. (2010). Sense and the senses: Anthropology and the study of autism. Annual
Review of Anthropology, 39, 241-259. doi: 10.1146/annurev.anthro.012809.105012 11