9/5/2014 Should You Love Yourself?

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Should You Love Yourself?
12 Aug 2014 3 Comments
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Question: Why is it that so many people struggle with liking
themselves? And could you say something about shame and guilt?
Sadhguru: Liking themselves? Someone else should like you. I like
myself what nonsense is this? These concepts and philosophies are
floating around all over the world, particularly on the West Coast of
America. When I recently went to California, I happened to attend a
lecture at Stanford University where the speaker held the view, You must
be compassionate to yourself. I said, To like, love and be compassionate,
you need two entities. If you create two entities within yourself, you are
either schizophrenic or possessed. Either you need a psychiatrist or an
exorcist.
An individual means not further divisible. If you made yourself in such a
way that you have no friends, and are not capable of being alone, you
create two within yourself. Dont play this game. Initially, it may be fun,
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9/5/2014 Should You Love Yourself?
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With these ideas,
Love yourself.
Believe in
yourself. Be
compassionate to
yourself, you are
asking for
sickness.
but if it establishes itself, you will become sick. The line between sanity
and insanity is very thin. If you keep pushing it, you will land on the other
side, and you will not know where you are.
It happened once Shankaran
Pillai called the psychiatric ward at
the NIMHANS institute in
Bangalore and said, Is Mr. Pillai
there in room number 21? The
receptionist said, Wait, sir. Ill
check and let you know. She
checked and said, No, he is not
there. Oh my God, then its true
that I have escaped! Once you
play this game of dividing yourself,
you will not know where you are.
You are an individual who you
are should never be divided. You
must integrate yourself into an
individual. Only one is fixable. Only one can grow. Only one can
transform. Only one can transcend. If there are two, they will go in two
different directions. If there are four, they will go in four different
directions, and so on.
Do not try to like yourself. What is there to like about you? Then should I
dislike myself? Why are you thinking on those terms? Where is the
question of liking or disliking yourself? When you look at yourself as just a
piece of life, there is neither a need to like nor dislike this most
fundamental life within you. If you see, This is only me and me alone,
you will keep this well. If there are two, doing makeup for both is difficult.
With these ideas, Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Be compassionate to
yourself, you are asking for sickness. And if you ask very strongly, you
may get it. Do not ask for these things. It is vital to understand that you are
an individual you cannot divide yourself, or if you do, you are playing a
psychological game with which you are asking for insanity to manifest
itself. When you live with those kinds of people, it may seem normal, but if
life situations push you, you will go crazy. If life situations are conducive,
you can play these games and somehow get by, but nothing significant will
happen in your life because unless you are an individual, you cannot
transform; you cannot transcend.
Shame and guilt
Your ideas of shame and guilt are a social phenomenon. What people feel
guilty about in one society, they do not feel guilty about in another society.
Shame and guilt are not natural. It is just that certain religions have made
you feel guilty about everything. If you list out all the things they consider
as sin that you should feel guilty about, you must feel guilty about being
alive, because your very birth is supposed to be sin. All your life, you feel
guilty. If certain religious teachings were not there, guilt and shame would
not exist. If there was no room for guilt and shame, you would correct your
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TAGS: Forest Flower, Love
Guilt and shame
come from social
conscience, not
from universal
consciousness.
actions. Guilt and shame gives you a lot of shadowy area in your life. You
can endlessly do the same stupid things, feel guilty about it, wash your
guilt away, do the same things again
People who have been taught great
levels of shame and guilt are the
ones who commit too many things
because there is always a way to fix
the guilt, every week.
Consciousness is one thing
conscience is another thing.
Consciousness is the basis of life
and existence. Spiritual process is
about consciousness, not
conscience. Conscience is a
socially set up mechanism, usually with a religious basis, which makes you
feel guilty of this or that or everything in your life. When you feel guilty,
you will become subservient in some way.
You do not need a conscience you need consciousness, because
consciousness is inclusive. This inclusion fixes your actions. You do not do
something not because you think it is wrong. You know that you would not
like to do it to yourself, so you would not like to do it to someone else. You
know it would not work for yourself, so you would not want to do it for
someone else. That is all it is. Consciousness fixes you because of your
inclusiveness. Conscience tries to fix you with guilt, fear, punishment, and
shame. This is something that makes a human being feel like a wretch, and
you cannot expect a human being to grow when he or she feels like a
wretch. Instilling shame and guilt means there is no interest in the growth,
transformation, and transcendence of human beings. There is only interest
in holding them on the leash. Guilt and shame come from social
conscience, not from universal consciousness.
Editors Note: This article is based on an excerpt from the August 2014
issue of Forest Flower. Pay what you want and download. (set 0 for
free). Print subscriptions are also available.
9/5/2014 Should You Love Yourself?
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Jaya 24 days ago
"Conscience tries to fix you with guilt, fear, punishment, and shame. "All my
relations and society are going great only with this shambho. It has become daily
part of life and you are saying there is a doorway for it and I don't know where to
start , i believe it got sink in to my roots how to come out. Now I am really
thinking why you said that "Being uneducated is not a small thing".

2


Reply
Vaidehi 24 days ago
Sadhguru... thanks for this talk. I just wanted to get a clarity. When somebody
says to like or loving onself first, what I understood is we normally are taught not
to be selfish and to do things for others. We do this putting ourselves to difficulty
or denying ourselves, we try to do things for others. So this putting someone else
before us - denying ourselves or self denials -is what is liking or loving oneself. If
I am happy within myself , then that happiness flows out. But when I am denying
myself and doing somethings to make others happy my happiness is at stake. I
thought this is what people say to love yourself first..then it spreads around.
Please clarify this doubt. With due respects ...


Reply
Sullivan 16 days ago > Vaidehi
I dont think so. When some one says love oneself, it means start liking the
way you actually are. Be comfortable with the way you look, your
behavior, your character, you flaws etc. Basically shes your inferiority
complex etc.


Reply
santhosh 24 days ago
I could find some quote about this kind of thinking...
... and you, Marcus, you have given me many things; now I shall give you this
good advice. Be many people. Give up the game of being always Marcus
Cocoza. You have worried too much about Marcus Cocoza, so that you have
been really his slave and prisoner. You have not done anything without first
considering how it would affect Marcus Cocozas happiness and prestige. You
were always much afraid that Marcus might do a stupid thing, or be bored. What
would it really have mattered? All over the world people are doing stupid things ...
I should like you to be easy, your little heart to be light again. You must from now,
be more than one, many people, as many as you can think of ...
Karen Blixen,
The Dreamers from Seven Gothic Tales (1934)


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