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St. Leo the Great Catholic Church July 5

th
, 2014
3700 Old Lee Highway
Fairfax, VA 22030


Transcript of Wedding Ceremony Homily by Father David A. Whitestone


Denise and Chris, it is a great honor to be here with you this day to celebrate this great
Sacrament of Marriage. And I welcome, in a special way, my brother the priests, Father
Charles Smith, and also newly-ordained Father Walker. And I welcome them, as well as
all of your family and friends.

This is the time of great celebration. In a certain sense, it is marking the end of a period
of preparation, and not just the time youve had to endure meeting with me over the past
several months, but really the preparation, which begun many years even before we met.
This is the moment, which concludes those many years, where you were prepared by
your own family and friends. You experienced a lot. You experienced a lot: times that
were challenging and times that were joyful. All of these things, according to Gods
providence, brought you to this moment. We celebrate that God has used all of the past
events as preparation for this moment. But most importantly, we celebrate this moment as
a beginning; because when you leave this church, you will no longer be two, but truly
one. It has been a joy to prepare you, and not only prepare you for marriage, but to be
part of your own journey in this course, your own exploration of the Catholic faith.

One thing I need to say now to the two of you, is that although you are young, and I
realize how young you are every time I have a birthday. Age is relative, I guess. But not
only are you young, but you are serious. Youve approached this with tremendous
thought and reflection. And this shows in the way you have arranged this ceremony,
particularly the readings that youve chosen. There are many readings you could have
chosen, but in prayerful reflection, youve chosen really readings that reflect the essence
of what marriage is meant to be, what it can be.

The first reading is a reading from the Book of Genesis. And in the Book of Genesis, we
see the truth of Gods creation, what it means, perhaps not in the scientific way, but
certainly the profound truth of creation. The first chapter of Genesis, you have the very
familiar story of creation, where God simply speaks His Word, this overflowing,
effervescent love is creative. He speaks His Love, and things come to existence. And the
pinnacle of His creation is the creation of Man, male and female.

The section that weve read today is from the second chapter of Genesis, and it is a little
different, but still true. We see man as really the beginning of Gods creative action. In
the very earthy image we see God fashioning that first man Adam out of clay. And it is
lifeless, and God breathes into the clay, giving to this lifeless mass the Spirit, this kind of
spark. Adam is created. And then they realize something, not that God overlooks
anything, but they realize that Adam is alone, and needing a suitable partner, helpmate
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for Adam. So the story is that Adam is put into a deep sleep, and a rib is removed, and
Eve is fashioned from the rib. And Adam wakes up and says, At last, flesh of my flesh
and bone of my bone. This is my suitable partner. Why were all the other living things
not suitable partners for Adam? Its because they were less than him. It is Adam that
possesses that Spirit and Breath of God. Eve is the suitable partner for Adam precisely,
not only because of their differences, thank God, but also because of their sameness.
Because when Adam is able to look into the eyes of Eve, he sees also the image and
likeness of the Creator.

What the Old Testament story is trying to teach us, in a very poetic way, is that one of the
essential elements of the Covenant of Marriage is the Creator, the radical reality of the
equality of Gods Grace. You begin your married life this moment by the complete and
voluntary surrender of the self to the other. It is a gift eagerly made, and it is made
possible in the fact that you both are children of God. This equality and mutual respect in
understanding the essence, the sacredness of the other, is the building block of marriage.
Without this, marriage is some other arrangement, but it is not as God intends it.

The second reading that you have chosen is also most profound. And it is St. Pauls effort
to teach us just what is, really, the essence of what it means to follow Jesus. We can
understand following Jesus in many different ways. We can follow his moral code; we
can be very impressed with his gentleness and kindness. But to follow Jesus means
precisely that: to live as He lived. And how does He live? From the very first moment of
His incarnation, when He takes flesh, Jesus is constantly emptying himself, of His own
time and pride, so that others can share in the life of God. He is constantly in this process
journeying towards death, so that others can live. St. Paul reminds us that basic truth of
Christian life, which applies to all of us, but it particularly applies to spouses. Now, the
version of St. Pauls letter to the Ephesians that youve chosen is the shorter, didactic
version. But Ill share with you the parts that you have crossed out because the devil is in
the details.

First, Brothers and Sisters, Live in love, as Christ loved us and handed Himself over for
us. We are told to live for one another as Christ lived. Be subordinate to one another out
of reverence for Christ. And subordination is not subjugation or slavery. Being
subordinate is to voluntarily step back and to appreciate the dignity and the need of
another, even before one is concerned with the fulfillment of the own individual desire. It
is mutual. Be subordinate to one another. And then it says something about wives be
subordinate to your husbands, and thats usually where the elbows go back and forth in
the congregation. Again, what is St. Paul saying? Its that wives, live for your husband.
Live no longer for yourself, but for the one God has given to you to be your partner and
helpmate.

And then, immediately, St. Paul says, Husbands, love your wives, and well, the husbands
have it all easy. Wives have to be subordinate, but husbands, well all they have to do is
love. But Paul says, love as Christ loved the Church. How does Christ love the Church?
Again, by emptying himself sacrificially. This is the secret to Christian marriage. It is not
a 50-50 proposition, living simply for the moment, hoping that its all happy and easy.
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Christian marriage is entering into the mystery of Divine Love. Its that decision, that call
and that Grace to be Christ for one another, as you begin this journey throughout life.

I know many of us here are Christians, and some of you, perhaps maybe are not
Christians. And one thing that sets the Catholic Church many times apart from others, not
always, is the prominence of the crucifix in our Sanctuary. Again, for all Christians, we
know it is the Cross of Christ that gives us life, that saves us and redeems us, but in most
Catholic churches we include the image of the Lord. And sometimes when we look at
that image, we can recoil from it. Its not very delicate. And it might seem, at first, like
something that seems out of place, especially on such a joyful day.

But when we look at the cross, with the image of Christ upon it, we are given an image of
what Divine Love is all about. This is what it means to love: to open your arms
completely for another; to do not your own will, but the will of another; to be willing,
able, and even eager, to shed your blood for the life of another. We have this image
before us, not because of any particular macabre tendencies on our part, but rather we see
in this image, the essence of what it means to follow Christ. I think it is most appropriate,
that you begin your married life today, under the shadow of the crucifix. Many of you
who have been married perhaps for some years will say Amen to that because marriage
will be a crucifixion for you, often. But we know also as Christians that the crucifix is not
the end; that after the Lord empties himself completely for the forgiveness of sins, He is
resurrected in glory and majesty. This will be true of your life as well.

In just a few moments, I promise you, you will join your hands and hearts together, and
you, beneath the cross, will pledge to live your lives always sacrificially for one another,
in the image and likeness of Christ Himself. You know that there will be struggles; there
will be difficulties, but you are not alone because as you join your hands and hearts, you
are joining Gods three people that love you deeply, and so many family members and
friends, and they are here this moment, not only to support you and to share your joy, but
they are always here to pray for you and to strengthen you. But most importantly, as you
join your hands together, it is God Himself who binds them. He pledges to you, just as
you pledge to each other, He pledges to you all the Grace, all the support and all the
strength you need.

Id like to conclude by just saying thank you. Thank you for the witness of your love. The
reality of the sacrificial gift of love is sometimes sorely missed in todays world, when
we are so focused on convenience and gratification. But you truly are, in following Christ
as husband and wife, the light of the world; you are a beacon of hope for all who struggle
to love. Let us pray always for one another. And as you jointly share this day, stronger in
your light, know that you are never alone. You follow Christ. He is always at your side.

Wedding Ceremony video uploaded to YouTube the Homily may be found at:
http://youtu.be/rJyCHmVJl2s (14:36 - 27:27)