10 Mistakes Happy People Never Make

October 10 by Pooja Lohana in Communication, Motivation | !" #hares

Have you noticed that small, nagging voice in your head that does most of the talking? It is
like a hotel guest that forgot to check out. I call it the mini-me.
In my case, Id do a superb ob !ith a client, or at !riting a book, and the mini-me !ould still
be unsatisfied. It !ould find reasons !hy the success !ont last and !hy it is not much of a
big deal.
" !hile ago, I reali#ed it !as high-time I asked the nagger to shut up$
"fter all, its your mind, its your life and its your happiness that is at stake here. %he more
you give in to the mini-me, the more you move a!ay from e&periencing life to the fullest.
Happy people seem to get that. %hey practice a fe! things, !hether consciously or
unconsciously. %hey also avoid certain things like the plague, such as'
1$ %ocusin& only on your mini'me
Happy, positive people dont pay a !hole lot of attention to their mini-me. (our ob is to
convert your mini-me into your best friend ) and until it becomes one, you say, %hank you,
but I am fine, and ignore the rest of the chatter.
*ocus on !hat your mini-me is not saying. *ocus on the achievements and happy moments of
your life. (ou kno! the saying, +hat you focus on is !hat you get. Its time to put the
saying to the test.
($ Puttin& a )ollar amount on success
If you define your success !ith money, you !ill find that the amount you earn is never
enough. %here is al!ays more to be earned. Instead, happy people e,uate their success !ith
satisfaction and happiness in life.
If you are happy making a thousand dollars a month because it satisfies all your needs, then
be happy. -ont stop yourself because someone else told you a thousand dollars is not
enough. %une into yourself and ask !hether you need more. if yes, strive for it. /ut not at the
cost of your o!n happiness$
*$ +l,ays livin& in the -uture
In his book The Power of Now, 0ckhart %olle stresses the importance of being present. %he
present is the only time you have right no!. It is the only tangible e&perience for you. %he
past is in your memories and the future is yet to come.
Happy people focus on the small things today that !ill become big successes tomorro!. 1ei#e
the day because today !ill never happen again.
!$ %or&ettin& the ma&ic ,or)
+e are a funny species. +e forget !hat is !hile !e focus on !hat is not. %o remind yourself
of the small things that bring happiness in your life, keep a gratitude ournal. 1ay, %hank
you, to the 2niverse, 1ource, 3od 4or !hatever you call it5. 6sychological research suggests
!e are happy !hen !e are grateful for !hat !e already have.
%o 7prove this, try !riting do!n three things that !ent !ell during a day. 8eep doing this for
a !eek, every night, !ith a causal e&planation of !hy you are grateful for that e&perience.
9otice ho! you feel after each e&ercise. In an e&periment in :;;<, different groups of
participants !ere asked to do the same. "t the one-month follo! up meeting, the people !ho
used this e&ercise !ere happier and less depressed than they had been at the prior meeting.
%hey continued the e&ercise and stayed happier in the future follo!-ups.
.$ /reamin& small
1omeho!, !e are conditioned to dream small. +e are told to be careful of the challenges life
thro!s our !ay. 1uccessful people dont limit their dreams ) they dare to dream /I3.
%hat said, they also have a series of smaller, more immediate steps that !ill bring them to
reali#e this goal. Having a bigger vision is important, but a step-by-step formula makes it
more possible.
0$ 1eepin& &oals an) )reams a secret
Happy people love the concept of a mastermind !here people share their challenges and come
up !ith a list of solutions, or brainstorm ideas, using the groups synergy.
2$ #peakin& ill o- others
It may be tempting to gossip about others behind their back, but !hen you talk negatively,
you take in the negative energy yourself.
%hink about the last time you spoke 4or thought5 badly of someone behind their back. Ho!
did you feel after!ards? 9ot overly enthusiastic, for sure. Instead, focus on others strengths
and positive habits and highlight !hat makes them special.
$ Not livin& in ali&nment ,ith your values
"lignment !ith your values is an emotional state you !ant to feel on a regular basis. *or
e&ample, your top values could be love, honesty, integrity and success. =ake a list of your top
ten values and then on the other side of the paper, !rite do!n ho! you are meeting these
values in different areas of your life.
9o!, !rite do!n all areas !here your values are not being met. (ou have discovered the
loopholes. +hat can you do to change that? 4*or a full list of values, go here.5
"$ Not acceptin& ,hat cannot be chan&e)
Happy people are adaptable ) they easily adust themselves to accept !hat is not possible. If
youre unhappy about something, notice ho! your ego holds onto it and !ont let go of the
fact that you cannot change it.
%his brings more pain that has especially to do !ith trying to control others or e&ternal
situations. %he person you can change the easiest is you. Happy people get that and bring their
energy to !hat can be controlled ) that is, they themselves.
10$ Hol)in& &ru)&es
%he more you focus on ho! someone hurt you last year by making a mean statement, the
more you !ill hold on to anger, negativity and resentment. "ll these take a !hole lot of your
energy for nothing in return.
6erhaps the other person feels miserable, too. 6erhaps they are holding a grudge against you.
9o one is happy that !ay. %o forgive and forget is hard but pays !ell in the long run. (ou !ill
be free from the shackles of the negative bond, and you have more room for better
e&periences in your life.
3hat other habit ,oul) you a)) to the list o- mistakes that happy people never make4
#hare ,ith us in the comments belo,5