English pronunciation test

While most of you non-native speakers of English speak English quite well, there is always
room for improvement (of course, the same could be said for every person for any subject, but
that is another matter) !o that end, "#d like to offer you a poem $nce you#ve learned to
correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than %&' of
the native English speakers in the world
"f you find it tough going, do not despair, you are not alone( )ulti-national personnel at *orth
+tlantic !reaty $rgani,ation headquarters near -aris found English to be an easy language
until they tried to pronounce it !o help them discard an array of accents, the verses below
were devised +fter trying them, a .renchman said he#d prefer si/ months at hard labor to
reading si/ lines aloud !ry them yourself
English is tough stuff
0earest creature in creation,
1tudy English pronunciation
" will teach you in my verse
1ounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse
" will keep you, 1u,y, busy,
)ake your head with heat grow di,,y
!ear in eye, your dress will tear
1o shall "2 $h hear my prayer
3ust compare heart, beard, and heard,
0ies and diet, lord and word,
1word and sward, retain and 4ritain
()ind the latter, how it#s written)
*ow " surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague
4ut be careful how you speak(
1ay break and steak, but bleak and streak5
6loven, oven, how and low,
1cript, receipt, show, poem, and toe
7ear me say, devoid of trickery,
0aughter, laughter, and !erpsichore,
!yphoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
E/iles, similes, and reviles5
1cholar, vicar, and cigar,
1olar, mica, war and far5
$ne, anemone, 4almoral,
8itchen, lichen, laundry, laurel5
9ertrude, 9erman, wind and mind,
1cene, )elpomene, mankind
4illet does not rhyme with ballet,
4ouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet
4lood and flood are not like food,
*or is mould like should and would
:iscous, viscount, load and broad,
!oward, to forward, to reward
+nd your pronunciation#s $8
When you correctly say croquet,
;ounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
.riend and fiend, alive and live
"vy, privy, famous5 clamour
+nd enamour rhyme with hammer
;iver, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
0oll and roll and some and home
1tranger does not rhyme with anger,
*either does devour with clangour
1ouls but foul, haunt but aunt,
.ont, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
1hoes, goes, does *ow first say finger,
+nd then singer, ginger, linger,
;eal, ,eal, mauve, gau,e, gouge and gauge,
)arriage, foliage, mirage, and age
<uery does not rhyme with very,
*or does fury sound like bury
0ost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth
3ob, nob, bosom, transom, oath
!hough the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual
;efer does not rhyme with deafer
.oeffer does, and ,ephyr, heifer
)int, pint, senate and sedate5
0ull, bull, and 9eorge ate late
1cenic, +rabic, -acific,
1cience, conscience, scientific
=iberty, library, heave and heaven,
;achel, ache, moustache, eleven
We say hallowed, but allowed,
-eople, leopard, towed, but vowed
)ark the differences, moreover,
4etween mover, cover, clover5
=eeches, breeches, wise, precise,
6halice, but police and lice5
6amel, constable, unstable,
-rinciple, disciple, label
-etal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
1enator, spectator, mayor
!our, but our and succour, four
9as, alas, and +rkansas
1ea, idea, 8orea, area,
-salm, )aria, but malaria
>outh, south, southern, cleanse and clean
0octrine, turpentine, marine
6ompare alien with "talian,
0andelion and battalion
1ally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, ", ay, aye, whey, and key
1ay aver, but ever, fever,
*either, leisure, skein, deceiver
7eron, granary, canary
6revice and device and aerie
.ace, but preface, not efface
-hlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass
=arge, but target, gin, give, verging,
$ught, out, joust and scour, scourging
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
0o not rhyme with here but ere
1even is right, but so is even,
7yphen, roughen, nephew 1tephen,
)onkey, donkey, !urk and jerk,
+sk, grasp, wasp, and cork and work
-ronunciation -- think of -syche2
"s a paling stout and spikey?
Won#t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
"t#s a dark abyss or tunnel(
1trewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
"slington and "sle of Wight,
7ousewife, verdict and indict
.inally, which rhymes with enough --
!hough, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
7iccough has the sound of cup
)y advice is to give up222
(+pparently e/cerpted from The Chaos by 9erard *olst !renit@)